#everything im gonna screw up
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#just a little waffle#xiao: waffle#waffle: miscellaneous#okay turned into a little bit of a long waffle#WHOOPS#shoving it all hopefully under a read more ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------#*tag equivalent read more#i have a practical exam coming up in a few days and whenever i think abt it i feel so fucking sick i cant do anything#well i mean#i can do things obviously but i kinda want to hurl while doing them#things like writing and reading become so jarred and misplaced and i cannot enjoy them at all#i cant even write tbh#i hate it sm i just want it to be over but i also never want it to arrive#and i keep thinking abt everything i have to do and how im not prepared at ALL to do them#argh its just so annoying and its not the worst thing anyone could go through i know but it does not mean i do not still wish i wasnt#SIGH#and then i get a headache. and cant sleep either i keep thinking abt it when im just lying there and then im wide awake going through#everything im gonna screw up#god. bleugh. anyway.#waffle over#love and light to yall💫
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I love how tumblr collectively agreed to become Jayce's very tired and dispairing mother after act 2
Istg, every two posts abt act 2 are just "God fucking damnit Jayce, what the fuck did you do??" and i think thats very funny of this community
#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane s2 act 2#arcane spoilers#jayce talis#honestly im not coping either#the moment we got that shot of jayce looming over the settlement i went “oh fuck jayce is gonna screw everything up isnt he--”#and he stormed right up and did just that#ahhhhhh
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I'm just going to say that I agree 120% with what was said about empathy and respect for the new cultures that are gonna be add to the server. But I think it's also good to clarify that this goes both ways. We are all going to be exposed to new things and we have to let our guard down a little to try to understand each other. It always comes down to empathy and respect. Members and communities that are currently involved with the server can screw up without even realizing it, just as new members can screw up. We are humans. The thing is to take a deep breath and, as long as there is no bad intention behind it, talk about things like adults. With patience and empathy.
#qsmp#This is bc im seeing a lot of people already putting the new members in glass boxes#like chill#they are gonna screw up at some point maybe#thats fine#we all do#as a spanish speaker i rembember people from other communties#One in particular#trying to cancel everything our ccs did or said#is frustrating#But also there was a learning experience from both sides wich was so cool to see
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Really gotta stop putting what my sister wants over what i want.
Like i get that she worries and wants to take me out with friends.
But after a full day out at an aquapark i knew going out for dinner and then going partying would be too much
No now Im just overwhelmed and want to cry lol
Just wanna be alone and rest 😭
#i dont wanna screw up her fun tho#so im just gonna keep at it#and make myself worse#i love her and am worried for her#but like i should just say no and not let her convince me otherwise#hate everything
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resignation letter is the most potent painkiller. i love you resignation letter i love you one month notice <3
#tmi but im regular again and literally the only change is because i've been eating enough to shit daily#i was in such a bad headspace these past few months that i could barely bring myself to eat#i'd go to sleep with my work uniform still on and wake up willing myself to get up for 30 mins and then brushing my teeth and going to work#with the same clothes i slept in#i stopped hanging out with my friends. i had nightmares abt my job.#i can only take care of myself on my days' off and i cant grok anything other than shallow entertainment like wrestling#everything else is too much for my brain to handle. i'd simply forget everything i read or play or even listen to#those three months are miserable lmao#its not just my job... its also the family issues i've been dealing with#yknow remember when i said i could have died? yeah that shit was real. fuckin love it when my mom admit my dad have the capacity to be a#family annihilator. but... since my dad have a job to keep him busy and we moved to a house where me and my sister and#my mom and dad get to have our own rooms... and my dad get to live near his old friends and family...#things have been getting better. usually we had a physical fight every two months but it hasnt happened yet and i seem to get on with him#better now. so... i guess im gonna be okay. i've been so tired and trapped#stuck between two places that are both physically and emotionally draining with no reprieve#things are changing. and i find that to be comforting despite how up in the air the future might be. i might be screwed but also? what if#i'll be fine? im at a point where im accepting any drastic changes even if its for the worse#funny how i used to like my job a lot. i guess im not to be comfortable with anything long term#posts about my life
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Technical difficulty
Like a fucking dumbass I somehow spilt Coke zero on my laptop, and some of it went into the tiny little vents on the laptop, im writing this on my laptop as we speak but i don't know if it will be ok, I might lose everything on here, which means my tf2 Comics will all be gone, and I dont know when Ill be able to get another computer, if this thing is fucked up.... if not all will be good and everything will continue to be the same, Sorry for being stupid yall I fucked up big time, im praying everything will be ok, but hey at least I still have my phone so my connection to yall will still be there, i just wont be able to make gmod comics or play games for a very long time....everything seems to be ok Ill keep you all updated. but if all go's to shit I have a back up plan, and if that back up plan fails to work, Ill have to ask someone to continue my stories, if anyone is willing to take it on please let me know, but that's only if my laptop is seriously screwed over, ill keep you all updated.
#tf2#team fortress 2#tf2 spy#tf2 sniper#tf2 scout#tf2 demoman#tf2 engineer#tf2 medic#tf2 soldier#tf2 heavy#i screwed up#if anyone is reading this im sorry#tf2 comic#gmod#gmod comic#im probably gonna need someone to take over#untill everything gets fixed.
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#LOOK AT HIMMMM#i feel like im the only person going rabid over this guy#look at him hes so cute#hes so cute but also really hot too#look at that lip. THAT SMILE. HES CUTEE#the most normal guy on the vestige lineup bc everyone who wields ofa is crazy somewhere in them#meanwhile bruce could actually have been collateral damage with kudos OFA time#figuring out how it works? bruce come here. pass it back and forth. oops. you got your factor absorbed into this one#tho bruce did pass it on so really. even tho hes collateral he did end up holding it at the end#everyone with ofa can have some screws loose but bruce is just a normal guy#[my common sense] vs [Leader's rabid willpower and ideas] became [the last thing Leader left and entrusted to me before his death]#and its the embodiment of yoichis will. now its yoichi and kudos combined will#spoilers#bnha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#mha#bruce#meme#bruce is normal but also crazy in some places too. he just acts and looks normal and we didnt get to see him enough to have it visible#bc bruce had immovable will himself and acted suicidal whenever kudo got involved#[Oh im gonna fight AFO in this closed sewer when i know i have no chance bc Leader is shocked and too close]#mister [Leader and the rest of the resistance is dead. i must fight AFO myself]#sir im pretty sure there was some suicidal feelings involved in that decision#man kills your friends so you pass on what Leader left you so you can go find that guy and try fighting him too?#SHINOMORI ADMITTED HE KNEW THE MOMENT HE GOT THE FACTOR HE STOOD NO CHANCE. IMAGINE BRUCE WITH HIS WEAKER VERSION OF OFA#AND HE STILL RAN OUT TO FIGHT THE STRONGEST MAN IN THE WORLD WITH MAYBE 2 FRIENDS#HE WAS CRYING THEN. BRUCE HAD TO HAVE BEEN SOME BROKEN MAN OR SOMETHING#he was the probably the last one to survive in the resistance. imagine being him. id feel suicidal too#maybe bruce was just out with the last members and AFO found them in search of the Factor. or while erasing everything kudo left behind
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"Karkalicious psychic damage" this, "karkalicious 2012 homestuck cringe" that. none of you motherfuckers would've survived the fandom maelstrom that was Sexy Kan I
#homestuck#karkalicious#rosemary#rose lalonde#kanaya maryam#broadway homestuck#was in the breakroom when u bidden after years of forgetting this song existed#all i hear im the back of my brain is#'darling kanaya sexy vampire'#[deadpan] '(rose how you shake it got a player like oh)'#and i dtg my face screwed up like a cat smelling something OUGH#everything is TORMENT WORLD#im gonna make a nightcore vers one day
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it's absolutely fascinating the way minds work to me.
#i was throwing up earlier and going 'welp if that really is blood then im screwed anyway so i won't bother saying anything to anyone'#and it didn't bother me in the least. i assume it wasn't blood because if it was that amount and colour would have been a medical emergency#but it did not bother me the possibility that it was. idk what was causing that colour but i assume it wasn't blood or id probably be dead#and or having unmistakeable symptoms.#but i feel like this kind of thing should bother me! and it didn't#like it was very much could-have-been because it was also hurting like the dickens#(unsurprising; i have an awful throat at the moment)#tw ed#personal#puddleglum hours#i legit told my brother 'im gonna go shower to hopefully help my throat bc steam and all that' when i was straight up using it as an excuse#to go and throw up most of my lunch#(it hurt too bad to throw up everything so hey. call that self care.#anyway. in a way i find myself amusing.#please note i am actually fine: and also i can stop myself whenever i want.#it doesn't hurt me
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Repeating to myself There is no harm in making a mistake. There is no harm in people knowing you made a mistake. There is no harm in people thinking you're stupid. There is no harm in making a mistake. There is
#i screwed something up at work and im gonna have to admit it tomorrow -_-#its not a big deal but i have to ask a few people to redo some work because of my stupid fucking memory issues#its not like ill get in trouble but ive been missing/forgetting/messing up little things all last week#so another easily avoidable mistake will just make them think im so dumb#no one there is mean i just dont want them to think im so so stupid because i am -_-#but its okay !!!!! its okay if they do !!!!! i cant be afraid of that !!!!! i cant live life needing people to always think highly of me !!#the work will get done !!!!! ive fixed everything before and i will fix this too !!!!!!#aaahhhh !!!!!#rose rambles#vent#delete later
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Man. Leaving a toxic relationship is just an exercise in learning how to live in your own head again.
#lot going on in here folks :'(#but also :')#for a few weeks i couldnt be alone couldnt be in silence couldnt just. think.#im loving myself again. im laughing and connecting and god im so excited for what comes next#june 19th lana..... you are my soulmate my rock my queen you are everything to me#bc june 19th lana had the strength to leave#june 19th lana swept me off my fucking feet and she fought and yelled and stayed up for 4 days straight#so that 4 days later i could be free again <3#i will work so fucking hard for june 19th lana.... i never want her to have any regrets... any whatifs....#im going to give june 19th lana the life she hopes shes fighting for#those four days were torture... moving... yelling... crying crying crying... more moving... driving...#she did that... for me....#literally she talked to me often... she would sit amongst the boxes and fear and heartbreak and shed talk to her future self#which ig is me <3 and shed tell me how she loved me and how i better not screw this up and she begged me to love her again#god i love her again. i love that mess of a girl. beautiful and strong and terrible! and she got out despite the torture.#june 19th lana. also june 20th 21st and 22nd lana. i hear you. you will have such a beautiful wonderful life i swear#one you will never ever second guess#he fucking killed us! he killed you! the connection the devotion the love it masked the insidious truth that you had to die for that shit#the life he could give you...its pathetic compared to what im gonna give you.#and unlike every promise he ever made... i never go back on my word :)#ok bye
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watched alex's goodbye episode yesterday and i am conflicted
#from what i heard from people i thought it was gonna be something else entirely#i thought he was gonna screw up things with jo and be single and he'd be drunk most of the time#he'd fight someone to death or similar and he'd lose his career and fail to his potential#i had heard some izzie whispers but i didnt know how that was gonna play out#and i see why people hate it but as an izziealex truther.... part of me is so happy 😭#but then i look at the bigger picture and IT DOESNT ADD UP#the writers never managed to write izziealex like they deserve and this is it#and also jo being colateral damage is sooooo evil and so badly done#in the last few seasons i've grown to love jo and her relationship with alex#them getting married for real... only for a half a season later alex leave her for izzie?#just doesnt add upppppp#i think bc my expectations were genuinely alex is gonna end a criminal i am not as disappointed as i thought i would be#i think that if they had explored this storyline and brought katherine back it would make more sense#or if they had shown us everything that alex said he did (contacting izzie seeing the kids and the farm their chemistry)#i dont wish he had been killed off but there really wasnt that many ways to explain him being gone#i just wish him and jo never got married. they should have forgotten about the marriage license a bit longer. put a rift between them for#whatever reason#bc alex truly would never leave jo#im sad im never seeing alex and mer together again 😭#maggie and amelia are INSUFFERABLE#isa.txt
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thoseve yall who were here a year ago might remember that a year ago He was liking tweets like "idk how people can cheat when im in love im obsessed😍" and "the honeymoon stage rlly doesnt die if youre with the right person🥰" and he was liking stuff like that up till recently now shit like this is in his likes something is BROKEN in him
#i feel bad. i dont even mean it in a conceited way but i cant help but feel like a bit of this is my fault#hes so bright eyed and ambitious that the idea of him losing any of that idealism is nothing short of a goddamned tragedy im sorry#yes this is the guy who lead me on (unintentionally???) and flirted with me for a year despite seeing TWO people during that time#the latter of which became his girlfriend (who i told Everything to ...)#and like. he never apologized he never explained what was going on or why he acted like a fucking simp for a year#but basically we're not talking now and we're on bad terms and angry at each other#(me because. well yall were there for that . hes angry because i ratted his flirty ass out )#god that all stings so bad i havent talked about the details of what happened to anyone......#but yeah i just. even still after all this time i hope he stays bright eyed. the idea that he wouldnt is heartbreaking in and of itself.#that one crush situation lol#idk if theyre still together. it was early novembet i reached out to his gf and laid the whole thing out for her#& she said theyd 'take it from here' (??????) and was uncomfortable with me and him communicating with the knowledge that THAT ALL happened#even while they were together. i told her i could respect that (even though i wanted to ask her who the FUCK she thought she was. anyways)#and then i reached out to him one last time to clarify i wasnt dredging it up for retaliation or to break them up but bc she genuinely#deserved to know. then he sorta said fuck my feelings and then reiterated what his gf said that we shouldnt be talking anymore#its been radio silence since then from bothve them. if they did break up id feel bad (cause how COULDNT i?) but if they didnt.#that means the only factor that changed here was. well. his 'relationship'/chances of a relationship/flirtationship/friendship with me.#i dunno. im not gonna act like i have all the facts and im not gonna act like he hasnt screwed me over#but getting back to my main point. imagine knowing him and watching him lose his idealism. try not being heartbroken over that.
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remember the prharse "being kind to some people is inherently cruel to others"
well I just learned that it said nice not kind and I have misenterpreted it but it's too late and fucked me up big time
#like am I a horrible person for not only willingly interacting with but actually loving my grandparents?#am I just OK with their views because they did nothing to hurt ME#specifically?#I know a lot of people would just say it's an unimaginable level of selfishness but I still loved them#I always asked myself is me loving people actively making the world worse#if my love isn't changing them for the better that is#because I know it's not. never been good at that kind of thing#but also that screwed me up about helping any random person ever#because well I live in a backwards country if you take a random person you can't expect progressive views of them to put it lightly#I framed everything I did as inherently cruel and rotated it in my mind#and it didn't say kind. it said nice. accommodating.#ofc im not bringing anyone unsafe to a safe space even when they are polite#and I'm not gonna say maybe you are right let's hear you out to someone advocating genocide I'll just stop talking#oh well it wasn't about those situations either probably
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how to remind yourself that youre still a good person after doing nothing the entire day. I feel horrible ☹️
#😭😭😭 literally only just lay in bed and scrolled thru my phone#now its 7pm and im hungry and i have a headache#salisha speaks#ive opened my window and the birds are singing and the sounds of the city are nice#but theres this looming feeling that im just a horrible person and that ive screwed everything up#i think im gonna have dinner and then read tonight. or watch a movie that i love#tomorrow will be better. it has to be#sorry for being uhhhhh sad today idk whats going on :(
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Why be stressed when you can eat fistfuls of Halloween candy instead
#haaaa i forgot i have a final project in one of my electives and i still have a quiz to make up#im also in the middle of packing and doing laundry#guys i think im screwed but im gonna do my best to get everything done
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