#everything has its place in fandom ok someone out there loves your writing regardless of the length

[shibaraki]

when it comes to writing it’s good to think of your brain like a muscle. but keeping that line of thinking I wanted to say that as writers we have different skills and that’s okay. so you may be good at short sprints. others do long. some even do marathons!!!!! whether you write 500 words or 5k words or over 20k words it is still valuable, it’s your work and it is time well spent

[aliensunflower-fics]

In Defense of Salt AND Sugar: Aka ML Fandom pls chill out.

So I don’t talk much as those who follow me will say I tend to just stick to myself and my own things. HOWEVER, Ive gotten a lot of asks about why I write both Salt and Sugar for Miraculous Ladybug.

The short answer: Both salt and sugar are valid, fun, intriguing things to read and write and the point of writing is to entertain and be entertained.

The long answer: Salt isn’t inherently someone hating on your fav show and sugar isn't someone necessarily giving it a free pass either. Ya’ll are just dramatic as hell.

The LONGER answer:

I write salt because I LIKE Miraculous Ladybug, BUT the show has not lived up to its potential AT ALL. The show could be so much better and the characters are so flawed or full of holes that occasionally I feel FRUSTRATED and mad!

I hate that Alya a character who I was so excited about, gets shafted ignored, sidelined, or written like a jerk! She could have been this great detective working alongside her friend to unmask the villain, but instead she often comes across as pushy, obsessed with Ladynoir or Adrinette, and so damn easily tricked. Not to mention how when shes not gushing over her ‘ships’ shes pushed to the side and ignored. [or you know... LILA]

I hate that Marinette’s crush makes her do things that are so cringy and awkward i feel ill I hate that she’s constantly the only one making mistakes and ‘learning lessons’ when the show has all these other great characters that could use the spotlight and be the ones learning lessons. I hate that she’s so jealous and that she cant ever seem to catch a break as if the show is punishing her constantly.

I HATE that Adrien is a mary sue, how the writers say hes perfect and treat him as such, I hate that he gets to guilt Marinette into fixing everything and dealing with bullies, I wanted a funny, Ron Stoppable, naive boy who learns about real friendships and grows into a great partner. Instead he gets to be pushy and downright a jerk as Chat Noir ignoring his responsibilities, guilting Ladybug with his feelings, never taking no as an answer. He’s not a good role model for kids.

I hate that Chloe got built up to have a redemption arc several times only for the writers to decide that Chloe a teenage girl who needs some serious therapy [and actual reasonable punishment for her actions] is worse than Gabriel child abuse Agreste. She could have been a great lesson on compassion and growth and dealing with your own pain without hurting others. Instead the writers wrote her off completely.

And dont get me started on how the show treats Nino, Kagami, Luka and the rest of the cast. They may as well be a backdrop for the forced love square that we NEVER get a break from. Seriously I’m a sucker for romance but does it need to be EVERY damn episode?! Can’t we just get some wholesome friendship between everyone including Adrien and Marinette at this point like COME ON.

And i’m not even touching on the white washing, awful lessons on responsibility and forgiveness, awful lessons on well so much other stuff really, the guilt trips, the teacher, the fact that she show could be used to teach kids how to better handle negative emotions and the importance of open communication and not keeping quiet about injustice and/or your feelings but instead decided that the main priority should be a love square that gets force fed to us EVERY SINGLE EPISODE.

My point is the show has FLAWS. That doesn’t mean its the worse show ever and it doesn’t mean its not fun, and has a great premise and characters, and so when I write Salt I write it because i’m frustrated! Im frustrated with the show, with the characters, with the writing and so I vent that out with salt I write those characters as their worst selves because I cant stand how the show has decided to treat them and Im ANGRY and disappointed.

It feels good to write salt and to read it. It’s nice to see characters get called out for bad behavior, its nice to read about Adrien not getting the girl. Its nice to occasionally indulge in salt because it validates that the show is flawed and lets you get out that frustration.

BUT ON THE FLIP SIDE

Miraculous Ladybug is a lovely show. It’s a show that decided to give little girls a FEMALE HERO. And not just as a side kick or background character! No they made her the protagonist! Its so important to me that little girls see good well rounded female characters in media.

And even if the show is clumsy about it they are TRYING to build an expansive lore that tickles the theorist brain. And gets people invested in the world.

The show also made Marinette shy, and awkward, and clumsy something a lot of girls deal with during puberty as growing up can literally make you clumsier as your body adjusts. Having a character who tries to be positive and tries to find solutions who solves things with creativity instead of pure violence. Thats LOVELY for young girls to see.

Growing up I loved and admired Kim Possible, and probably would have loved Marinette, even if the shows not perfect I can admit its trying and I can see why people love it as much as they do! And why they write these fluffy sugary fics its the reason I WRITE fluffy sugary things.

Because even though I am frustrated and angry and disappointed with the show, I still see Alya’s potential and how great she is as representation to little girls who want a black female superhero so I write fluff where Alya’s loyalty, compassion, cleverness and her pursuit of justice are center stage.

I see how Adrien could be better and I want him to be better and I WANT him to be the naive funny comic relief the Ron Stoppable to Marinette’s Kim Possible. I want Adrien to grow and learn and spit in his dad’s face I want him to overcome the abuse and be happy. To show people that neglect and abuse doesn’t mean you will get stuck like that forever, that you can overcome that and be a better kinder person.

I want Nino and Kagami, and Luka and Chloe and the class to grow and get attention and have funny moments I want to laugh and make other people laugh! So I write prompts focused around comedy and shenanigans and where the characters get to be fun and silly and make decisions for themselves!

SO IN CONCLUSION:

I write salt AND sugar. I see the value and merit in both sides of the coin, and I respect how other people see the show. I know its easy to get angry with other people in the fandom who see the show differently then you do but please can we put down the weapons and just BREATHE.

Someone who writes salt might LOVE the same show as you, and they might in fact love it so much that they vent their frustrations in angst and salt and cracky fics. Let them vent about how they wish the show was better, leave their tags alone or block them if you cant stand to see it. But dont attack salt writers for ‘hating on your show’ when they might love it just as much as you do but want a way to vent out their feelings.

On the flip someone who writes sugar might NOT be forgiving the show for its flaws, they might see all the same flaws as you but decide to take that frustration and write fluff and fix it fics and sugar because they want to indulge in a version of their favorite show where everything is just... OK. Where everyone is well written and happy and the character development sticks. Stay out of their tags let them have their sugar, they aren't writing it to hurt you just like you don't write salt to hurt them.

So ENOUGH. Enough hunting each other down, enough sending each other hate, enough filling each others tags. Let people write SALT if they feel angry and vengeful and disappointment, let them have their tags, let them explore the dark side of the characters, let them rant and rave and be HURT when the characters they love upset them with their actions. Its not your place to tell them to stop, to tell them their feelings are invalid, to tell them that ‘adrien is sweet sunshine boy how dare you’ or ‘alya would never’ or ‘i hate your marinette leaves dupont au’. Just leave it be, heed the tags, and let it go.

AND ENOUGH. Enough hunting each other down, enough sending each other hate, enough filling each other tags. Let people write SUGAR if they just want something to feel happy about. Let them makes coffee shop au’s, let them make fix it fics where everything is just happy without needing 8 pages of backstory for why everything is just happy. Let them squeal and gush and talk about the ship they like and the fluff they see. Its not your place to argue with them that the show is flawed, its not cool to ruin their fun by accusing them of not understanding the flaws, to tell them ‘umm actual this character shouldn’t get to be happy’ or ‘wow this is so shallow’. Just leave it be, heed the tags, and let it go.

PS: Now with that said and done. I do have one final message for everyone - If you write/enjoy pedophilia, if you sexualize KIDS. Then get the fuck out of fandom spaces, stop fucking following me, and do everyone salt and sugar a favor by LEAVING. Your pedophilia and child sexualization aint wanted, aint ok, and I will fight you.

PSS: IF YOU HATE WHAT IVE SAID ABOUT SUGAR AND SALT FINE OK I RESPECT YOU REGARDLESS. ENJOY THE SHOW, STAY CLASSY, DONT HURT PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY HAVE A DIFFERENT OPINION.

[bengalisasuke]

can’t believe i’m bringing my own identity politics into fucking sasuke uchiha from naruto but here we go

the deal with the latter half of shippuden, esp during kage summit, is that sasuke’s quest for vengeance is constantly portrayed as something irrational, and then subsequently, his desire to hold culpable the perpetrators for the massacre against his clan is seen as the actions of a mad man. and then his desire to completely upheave the system is also seen as something that can only come from a place of hatred, and darkness, and madness, and etc etc. fandom generally agrees with this view, and most people think that sasuke should have just forgiven konoha for the massacre of his clan much earlier. and this is, i think, where i disagree with a lot of people. for a lot of reasons.

i’m not saying that you hate genocide victims if you don’t like sasuke—don’t like him, like him. i don’t give a shit. but this is my attempt—as someone who has had family impacted by genocide, ethnic cleansing, and the generational trauma that comes with it—to explain why, fundamentally, i disagree with kishimoto’s nationalistic writing of naruto and why sasuke being put down as someone whose ideas of justice and vengeance are misguided simply do not make any sense to me.

disclaimer though: i don’t think kishi’s that smart, and at its core, naruto is just a shonen. pretty shittily written, but with some really compelling relationships written, but still: shonen. i don’t think kishi, when he put pen to paper decided that “i’m going to write a story about nationalism and why seeking justice, vengeance, and holding people accountable—even if the people responsible are the government or the village itself—is wrong and revolution is always wrong” i think he just wanted to write “friendship! peace! lets all hold hands and sing kumbaya!” but we’re still here. whether he intended to or not, masashi kishimoto did write a story about why going against your country, your government, even if they officially sanctioned a massacre on your clan to prevent a coup, is bad. everything that sasuke embodies—revolution, justice, vengeance—is supposed to be seen as bad. his refusal to give in to the desires of his friends—who want him to give up his quest for vengeance—is supposed to make us think it’s bad. and he succeeds! obviously! it’s naruto’s story!

and genuinely i cannot even begin to agree with any of this. yes, i think sasuke should have gone after itachi to seek some sort of closure as to why his brother killed his clan—but i also think naruto and sakura and kakashi should have offered to help instead of trying to dissuade him. actually no kakashi should have helped idg why the dude was like “ya shikamaru i’ll help u get your revenge” but to sasuke he was like “no revenge bad yes i know your brother killed your mom, your dad, your cousins, your grandparents, that little kitty you liked to pet but revenge bad now i tie you to this tree ok silly? kakashi out” but anywhoooooo we’re not here for that. my main issue will and always will be as to why kishimoto wanted sasuke’s desire for revolution and change and so on and so forth to always look bat-fucking-shit insane. i don’t get why he was so eager to make it look irrational, why the uchiha clan massacre was built literally on fucking eugenics, why kishimoto looked at this and thought, “yes...a group of people that is genetically predisposed to be evil and sidelined and oppressed and shit and YES i will have them all massacred and if sasuke wants to see any sort of justice happen well tough luck because revenge BAD”. i cannot buy it! i cannot! i don’t understand how i’m supposed to see like, this genocide survivor, and his desperation for justice and to change the world, and think he’s evil! i know other people are doing great it, but fundamentally i empathize with him too much to disagree with him except when he’s like, i don’t know, trying to kill people. and even then, there’s a direct correlation—revenge=violence on bystanders. the message here is clear, even if kishi didn’t intend it; regardless of how much hurt you’ve suffered because you were part of a group of people that were unjustly treated, you must never seek responsibility.

and it is such a jarringly despondent message, such a painful thing to hear, or realize, even implicitly, among all the talks of peace and love and understanding. in boruto, nobody is held culpable for the massacre—especially not konoha, nor the elders. nothing has changed. sasuke is now “good” because he turned over a new leaf and stoned and said nah fuck the revolution (: and it hurts, too, because so many people buy into it. it’s fiction, obviously, but this sort of thing is what influences people. makes them thing, yes, genocide is perfectly fine if the group being massacred is “evil”. if they’re inferior, genetically. there are twitter threads and stuff going around about how the uchihas deserves to be murdered, every single one of them. it’s fiction, of course it is, but this sort of thing is also very harmful and very hurtful to read. there is no happy ending—it’s hopelessly bleak. sasuke’s desire for justice or change to the hokage system is never realized, because he accepted naruto’s ideals. don’t change the status quo—change yourself, for the sake of peace. and that’s the underlying message of naruto, isnt it? give everything up, even justice, even your life, for the sake of peace for a village that doesn’t really give a shit about you.

and that’s why i feel so, so, badly for sasuke. i empathize with him—he’s a genocide survivor, looking for responsibility from people who act like that whatever they did was completely and utterly justified—which was essentially ethnic cleansing in the name of peace. shoutout to naruto for inadvertedly being nationalist propaganda

[melyaliz]

On the brink of a Storm

@coffee-randomness Imma give in the temptation and ask for a ship! (pretty pls?) I’m 5’6, latina and have long curly hair that I straighten most of the time (dyed blue if it counts) INFP. Cancer. Empathetic. Tend to speak on a really quiet voice and usually have to repeat myself to be heard. I laugh easily and love books, writing, music and breaking down movies. I avoid conflict but if something bothers me I’m not afraid to speak up. It’s still hard to open up and express how I feel, currently working on it.

Fandom: Harry Potter

Pairing: Neville x OC/Reader

Notes:  Ok so I may have written like two ideas and if I’m being really honest I would SHIP you with Sirius Black (Neither were actually with him), him getting you into music and you get him into stories.

But at the end of it all this was the story that came out the easiest so for THIS request this is what you get (sorry)  

Back story: You are a Metamorphmagus who has hung out with the gang here and there but got a lot closer during Dumbledore's army.

All Masterlists @melyalizarchive

Connect with me! AO3 / Instagram / Pinterest

-------

Seventh year, the year of keeping your head down and keep going. Fear so strong you could almost taste it in the air. Salty and sour, like tears and blood. It felt like every corner you turned there was a student hiding a bloody knuckle or wiping away some unforgiving tears.

Keep your head down, hide your scars. Never let them see your cracks.

It was a time of loneliness, knowing those around you were just as separated as you were. Yet there was nothing you could do or say for fear of them catching you.

Them.

The death eaters who filled the school. Like dark storm clouds just about to break. The crackling of hot lighting as they scowled around you. So dark and threatening they always on the verge of exploding around you. Sweep your life away and burn it to the ground. Separating you from your friends.

From everyone.

It was as if from that simple act your powers were gone. Your magic that had made you who you were was nothing anymore. Swept up by the gale forces around you like a force of nature that you had no control over. You were all helpless.

Or that was how you had felt until someone reminded you just how much power you had inside.

That was until you found Neville hiding in an abandoned corridor.

You had heard about the dark arts professors using curses on students as an example of how they worked. On students who disobeyed or spoke out of line. It sounded so horrible that part of you just didn’t believe it. It may have helped that you were Ravenclaw so you shared that class with the Hufflepuffs. Both houses had made a small pact as it were to keep your heads down. Pulling each other away from the storms before they broke.

But just because you hadn’t seen it didn’t mean it wasn’t happening. That you didn’t hear the rumors. Rumors like Neville helping a few half-bloods who’s bloodline had been questioned escape. How he had been in the trouble the most. Always standing up for those weaker than him. Regardless of their house colors. Always pushing back. Helping where he could.

You had heard all the whispers. You just hadn’t seen him.

Until that day you almost ran right into him.

Maybe your head was just a little to down that you didn’t even see the tall boy in front of you until his hands were on your shoulders stopping you from colliding with him.  

“Hello,”

“Neville!”

He was taller, a lot of his childhood weight had dropped off. Or maybe he wasn’t eating as much considering everything.  

Memories of you both practicing spells together during Dumbledore's army. Sharing ideas and trading secrets. It felt like a lifetime ago when you had both poured over books from the library. You both learned that you had a love for stories and soon were sharing books that weren’t school related.

It felt like you were both different people back then. Talking about heroes and villains. What it meant to be good and what it meant to make mistakes.

Until this moment you felt as if you were just existing, but seeing him there reminded you why you had joined the army in the first place.

You didn’t even realize you were doing it, your hand moving on its own to a cut over his eye. Gently brushing your fingers over it. His eyes watching you.

“Let me help” you whispered, the words floating from you like a spring breeze. Soft and refreshing. Pushing away those dark clouds that were choking the school’s magic.

Gently he took your hand in his own, it was rough and covered in scars and calluses.

“I miss the group,” Neville mumbled looking down at you speaking the words you had whispered to yourself. The prayers you had sent up to heaven for anyone who was listening. His hand placed on your own gently rubbing his thumb against your hand as if the small motion could seal those prayers. Build an unbreakable bond that would combat that loneliness you both felt.  

“And you” His honesty so strong and plane it caught you off guard. His brown eyes hard as they studied you. Giving you the strength you needed. The confidence to do what you had wanted to do since you had come back to this school.

Gently you placed your free hand over his, “I’m here now. I’m sorry. What can I do to help?”

-GET TAGGED!-

Tagging: @royslittleharper  @the-shadow-of-atlantis @coffee-randomness @daisyboobear @werewitchling

[missytearex]

Monthly Favourites - July

Hi! So I’ve decided that I wanted to do a “what I read this month” post, however, I realized that list is just gonna be too fuhking long so...I’m gonna choose a favourite of each pairing from everything I’ve read this month! 

Here we go!

Larry

Walk That Mile by purpledaisy | @daisyharry (149k)

Summary: Harry stares at him, the line of his jaw standing out scarily. “I wanted to get the most out of this trip so I planned it carefully.” His voice is low and steady and somehow that’s worse than when he was yelling. “So far, you’ve put your sticky fingers on everything I’ve tried to do.”

“Sticky fingers?” Louis repeats, offended. “Are you saying it’s my fault you got stung by a bee? Had you been alone you would have gotten halfway to the Dotty Diner and ran the car off the road because of an allergic reaction, so don’t go blaming me.”

“Polk-A-Dot Drive In,” Harry spits before getting out of the car. He slams the door shut with a deafening reverb and Louis rolls his eyes. - A Route 66 AU where falling in love was never part of the plan.

My comment: Ok so I probs haven’t been in the fandom long enough to say for sure but THIS IS MY FAVE LARRY FIC EVER! The whole thing is just so well written and perfect. My attention span isn’t that great, so I usually have some trouble with fics this long, but not with this one. It’s just so easy to read. Road trip fics are the best tbh. 

Lilo

I Only Come Alive Under the Moonlight by remivel | @remivel  (54k)

Summary: Louis knew he hadn't seen action in months, but this was just the universe making fun of him, he was sure of it. Because when he woke up in the middle of the night, he discovered that his new dog was missing, and standing in its place was a very confused, very fit... and very naked man.

Or a romantic comedy with a furry twist. Liam turns into a dog at night, Louis tries to help him get back to normal-- and ends up falling in love somewhere along the way.

My comment: Guys! This one had me laughing out loud! I found it quite unpredictable and it was fun constantly wondering what would happen next. And the entire thing is just bizarre and SO CUTE! Also lilo writing songs together is my favourite thing ever.

Lirry

Even When We Fight by threeturn | @valencing (30k)

Summary: University AU. Liam's the star of the debating society until Harry shows up and steals the spotlight. Meanwhile, Niall's in love, Zayn lives while he's young, and Louis looks after his friends.

My comment: I’m kinda cheating with this one as I read it in June, but SO WHAT SUE ME. It was such a fun one to read! I thought the whole debate club thing would stress me out, but it’s so interesting to read about the whole process. It also features boys being unable to deal with their feelings, which I really love.

Narry

move your world a little closer by countthestars | @moondoggiestyle (45k)

Summary: In which Niall is a bit lost, Liam and Louis can't seem to get their shit together, and Harry is literally out of this world.

(aka: alien narry)

My comment: What’s not to love about alien!harry?? Such a quirky character and he fits it so well tbh. PLUS! side!lilo is what I live for!

Niam

If It Makes You Less Unhappy by cmdf (19k)

Summary: “Listen. You can do whatever you’d like, but you told me that you were going to be taking a year of your life living here— in Italy, right?” He looks into Liam’s eyes for confirmation, squeezing gently into his shoulder. “Right?”

Liam nods. He shivers at the realization that he’s going to be here for a year. His pilgrimage has only just begun. He hadn’t really thought about how much a year could change a person—perhaps even a week. He can already tell by the end of this conversation with Niall, change may come more quickly.

___________________________________

Or: Liam travels to Italy and gets more than he ever anticipated.

My comment: In my experience, niam is defs the hardest pairing to find good fics for. That being said, this one is absolutely wonderful! Liam’s character is so well done, I just wanna give him a hug!

Nouis

shooting stars and satellites by temerity (forsanethaec) | @whoatherepickle | @1dgaf (12k)

Summary: "Is that what it says it's like?" Louis points vaguely to Niall's phone. He doesn't want to say the name of the thing.

"It says, um." Niall's mouth twists as he tries to figure out the words. “When you're bonded with someone, you’re for each other, after that. You’re -- like, you and me – you’d be the person I’m happiest with, all the time. Who I.” His toes curl on the tiled deck of the pool between their chairs. “Who, you know. Who I end up with.”

"Niall," Louis says, and has no idea where to go from there.

My comment: I feel like everyone has a slight kink for soul bonding. I certainly do. I really lived myself into this one and empathized with everything they were feeling. I think I even got a headache at some point...but don’t mind me, I’m just being dramatic. 

Zarry

Ready, Now by zarah5 (15k)

Summary: AU. Maybe Zayn shouldn’t have told Louis about his crush on the fit boy from the supermarket. Because the thing is, Louis likes to meddle.

My comment: Features one of my favourite things on the planet which is awkward!zayn!!! I really really love fun little lighthearted fics like these. Also really appreciated Louis’ unsubtle meddling. 

Ziall

Not Forgetting Who I Was by slashter | @slashter (40k)

Summary: Niall wakes up in a world where he's brunet, tattooed, and not in One Direction. In fact, no one's in One Direction--it doesn't exist. Determined to find out what's going on and if any of the other boys are as confused as he is, he leaves whatever life he's built so far behind in Ireland and sets off for London, his mind set on reuniting the five of them and reclaiming their spot in music history, no matter what it takes.

But the boys don't know who he is. The boys don't know anything about their other lives. They've got jobs of their own and goals they've set, and not everyone is ready to drop it all to chase some wayward dream, regardless of how good it may sound.

So now, for Niall, doing the seemingly impossible's just become a lot more difficult.

[Or the one where Niall has to bring One Direction back together, even if it means breaking his own heart in the process]

My comment: Where do I even start?? I LOVE parallel universe fics and this one is SO GOOD! The whole group dynamic, brotherly love thing throughout the story is something I REALLY appreciate in a 1D fic. And the idea of Niall being the one to bring them all together is so sweet! 

Ziam

Underneath by secretswekeepxx | @theficwritersblock (17k)

Summary: “And this is how fucking horror movies begin. I’m in the middle of fucking nowhere, taking a right onto ‘Payne Lane.” He mutters to himself as he flips his turn signal on and starts making his way slowly down the bumpy lane.

He’s surrounded on both sides by expansive, fenced fields with sparse trees, randomly placed sheds and lean-tos, and various breeds of livestock grazing about. The grass is long and rustles in waves with the dry, late August breeze. There’s a beauty to it, though Zayn’s momentarily unable to appreciate it because the further along he goes the stronger the urge to turn around becomes. It’s as the lane opens up and he can finally see a house materializing in front of him that he sees the sign for ‘Payne Farm’.

It's finally Zayn's last semester of graduate school, and the only thing standing in between him and his freedom is his thesis project. Deciding to live off campus for some peace away from the hustle and bustle of university life seems like a good idea in theory. That is until his best option is living on a farm that's owned by the very rude and boring Liam Payne.

Maybe this wasn't the best idea after all...

My comment: This one contains ~misunderstood!liam~ which, come on, that’s the BEST! I love the setting and Liam’s beautiful kind soul and Zayn realising he was wrong and it’s just...the best.

Zouis

we go together by aliferuined (7k)

Summary: T-Birds are forever. Very, very, very loosly based on Grease. It's basically a whole bunch of pining and quiffs.

My comment: I am an absolute SUCKER for friends to lovers. And this one is so cute! Liam not being allowed to wear the jacket, Louis’ pink car, Niall drooling over Demi...I could probably go on forever as I just love everything about this fic.

Tomlinshaw

loose lips sink ship all the damn time (not this time) by MediaWhore | @mediawhorefics (39k)

Summary: “Louis Tomlinson is gay,” Fiona announces and she sounds calm at least. “That’s not a scandal,” Nick replies automatically even though he feels slightly sick. He needs to call Louis back. Now. “No,” Fiona agrees quickly. “But his underage gay sex tape is.” The one where Louis is outed via a sex tape he made before the X-Factor and Nick can't resist flying to America to give him a shoulder to cry on. Told through flashbacks, this is a story of getting together and getting back together.

My comment: There’s something about Tomlinshaw that I absolutely adore. I can’t quite put it into words. Anyway, I really loved how quickly Nick dropped everything and got on a plane when Louis needed him. Such awww.

So that’s it for now! If you’re interested in keeping up with what I’m reading, I have a blog where I bookmark everything like the obsessive person I am ---> @niccihoranson

[amandaj718]

Devils Advocate: Part Two (More Devil. Less Advocate.)

(First Part Here)

Every day there seems to be a new meltdown. Sometimes it feels like every hour. Since March the majority of the Robron fandom has been overreacting to spoilers to a degree of craziness.  Lots of fears are being preyed on by people who value clicks over telling the truth.  Also, people who don’t understand how to read a crowd. Regardless, people are melting down, and I’m here to say...

Don’t.

As someone who overanalyzes the show to a degree, I have picked up on many visual and verbal cues on where the narrative focus is going. I’ve outlined a few bits of speculation I have seen on social media and why it could or couldn’t work with the current narrative I’m seeing. So, get something to drink, get your favorite snack and come hang out with me in narrative overanalyzing land for three popular speculations.

Speculation #1: The Baby Will Die

This speculation has been around since that one spoiler showed up on twitter (I’m not talking about it here because I’m not Darren).  People speculate that since Rebecca mentioned to Robert, “She was just making sure things were ok.” in that one July episode, something might be wrong with the baby.  

Why It Could Happen

The baby is a big thorn in everyone’s sides. On Robert and Aarons side (they aren’t ready to be parents, and they need to work on themselves) and The Whites side (they don’t want to be connected to Robert for life).  This baby has been pushed aside for so many plot cul-de-sacs or as I call it, Roberts Revenge Breakdown, that the show might see the baby as expendable. I know that is upsetting since the only innocent person in this whole storyline is that baby.  However, it’s the one piece of the puzzle that the show itself is ignoring. Like, it isn’t an important factor. It reminds me of cleaning up all the loose ends, the baby is a loose end. Again, I know its hard to hear, but that is how the show is presenting the baby at the time of this writing.

Also, killing the baby (I really do hate writing that) gives everyone involved extra drama. Aaron will feel guilty for wanting the baby to die, Robert will feel guilty for not caring about the baby while it was alive, The Whites…I’m not sure how they would feel. We, once again, don’t know much of how they feel. Maybe that would be used to set off their exit mixed in with finding out about Robert’s schemes. Either way, killing the baby off would set off all the key characters down a new path.

Why It Can’t Happen

Here is what I know.  What have we seen of the baby so far? Have we seen the baby on a screen? Have we heard the heartbeat? Have we had excitement over the child from Rebecca? Have we seen some attachment from Robert? If you answered yes to any of these, you haven’t been watching very closely or only listening to the most hysterical among us.

If they are talking about killing off the baby (I hate writing that by the way) they would make sure we saw that baby. We would see the scans. We would hear that heartbeat. We would get clear viewpoints on how Rebecca and Robert are feeling going forward through this story.  Rebecca goes missing from her own story these days. The only reason we are getting what we are getting with Rebecca and Robert (I will not spoil what is coming up this week. I am not Darren) is because Aaron is back. Chas is back. All the players are back on the board. If the baby were leaving us, we would care about the baby. We don’t. We care from an empathic frame of reference (no one wants to see a baby be hurt or die).  However, from a character or storyline point? We don’t care. We really don’t. As a fandom, we barely talk about the baby. We talk about Rebecca and The Whites but not the baby. For the baby to die, it would need to be for impact or to talk about an event many families experiences (Laurel and Ashley’s Baby story for example).  We don’t care about the kid as an audience. Looks like Eliza and Baby Dingle-Barton will get the special social issues. Nothing left for Baby White.  Just killing off a baby randomly isn’t good storytelling and I don’t think it will happen randomly.

Speculation #2: Robert/Aaron and Rebecca will Co-Parent the Kid

This is self-explanatory. After everything is out in the open, Robert and Aaron find their way back to each other, and The Whites future has been decided; Robert, Aaron, and Rebecca would play nice to raise the baby together.

Why It Can Happen

Co-parenting, while weird, is a soap staple. Some of the strangest groups of soap characters have made it work since the creation of the genre. While it isn’t feasible before the baby is born this could be developed after everything is closed off and used as a new storyline.  Robert and Aaron find their way back to each other, Rebecca is the last White standing, all the schemes and other problems with the storyline is resolved, and we are left with a baby and Robron. From that point on we can have Robert and Aaron work on their own relationship and their relationship with the baby. Meanwhile, the show can put the time and effort in to give Rebecca a personality and maybe likable to the audience by having her weave herself into the village ( a tall order, I know).  Meanwhile, the three of them bond over the baby. The baby is what brings them to a friendly place.

*Even I can’t make this work. I’m tap dancing…hard.*

Why It Can’t Happen

The show has made it known that Rebecca isn’t sticking around.  There has been much speculation about this and based off what we have seen, there is no reason for her to stick around. Her family is on their way out. She only appears at Home Farm and only at other places if her family or Robert is present.  She doesn’t have friends outside of the Sugdens or even The Dingles (Victoria and Debbie respectfully). In fact, Victoria is only interested in Rebecca when it calls for plot points to be made. Same with Debbie. That friendship seemed to die off when Debbie noted how giddy Rebecca looked about Robert and Aaron breaking up, telling her to move to the back room while they were there. Since then it's been limited at best.

Another beat that would have to develop is the relationship with Robert and Aaron. If the three are to co-parent, they would have to develop those relationships. The show would have started to have the three of them start to be friendly with each other. If anything, the three would have to start this friendly relationship way before the child is born for it to make sense. Especially when the whites are on their way out from November to January.  Rebecca would need a touchstone that isn’t her family, and so far she is still attached to them.

Speaking of Rebecca, she would have to develop a personality that doesn’t depend on the plot. Also, the show would have to make her likable to the Robron audience which is a tall order. Right now, we see her mocking Lydia and her position in life, mocking the businesses in town and especially mocking the scrapyard (Robert and Aarons business).  She is looking down on the village and everything it stands for which doesn’t make her popular with the audience. We, the audience, are attached to this crazy place and the people in it.  Having a character look down on that while co-parenting with too extremely popular and beloved characters? Yeah, that won’t fly at all. She would need a whole new personality transplant, and that would take way too much time to develop.

Also, would any sane person let Robert near that kid after the schemes he has pulled on her and her family? No. Yes, Rebecca has always gone with Robert because she has no brain cells left in her head but this time she will use that to run from the village and Robert with the kid.  Roberts schemes aren’t pretty and wouldn’t make him trustworthy to her or The Whites.

Speculation #3: Rebecca and Robert are in Love/Robert and Rebecca will Be a Couple

Yeah. I can’t even give this a real go without laughing because it ISN’T GOING TO HAPPEN. Believe me. Jimmy and Robert have a better chance of falling in love and becoming a couple than these two. I’m going to refer you to this post I wrote about the ways the show isn’t going there with them.  It still fits.

LET THAT FEAR GO. It won’t be a thing. Not even Robert pretending is happening. He picked Lawrence for that cliché. While hilarious, we now have to suffer through that but its better than suffering through what most were afraid of, Robert and Rebecca. Count your blessings, my friends. It could be worse.

Narratively the show is heading in a way that no one can predict. Don’t listen to the people of the internet who are looking for clicks/attention and not trying to be a productive member of this fandom.  They are there to cause panic and people thinking the worst of the show.  Remember, Emmerdale isn’t terrible. It is telling a crappy story badly right now and just happened to pick two of their most popular characters/couple to do it.  Do not despair. This is their big story, and the big stories get the big twists. It may not be the twist you wanted or expected, but something is coming. Something to wrap up the story and move us towards a new frontier for Robert/Robron.  I find that thinking through the possibilities this story can go (how it works and doesn’t work) helps calm the soul and just enjoy the ride. What else helps? Finding a group or one friend to complain to. Get out all your frustrations with them, and then you will see clearly. That is what fandom is for. Talking things through. Challenge each other to think beyond the groupthink. Challenge each other to think of the good and bad. Challenge each other to laugh. If not for one’s nerves but for one’s sanity.

Everything feels messy and crazy, but I’m convinced the show wants it that way. They want us to be surprised. They want us to wonder what is going to happen next. Regardless of people trying to ruin the ride, sit back and take each punch as it comes. It will be ok in the end.

This is just my opinion on the current speculation I hear out there. What do you think? Have you heard about other possible avenues this story could go? Do you have an opinion you need to yell out? Come on over to my tweet and Tumblr @AmandaJ718. I’m listening. So, until next time, see you around in Emmerdale.

[webwych]

This is your Han Solo now ...

So we had the first as-yet-untitled-Han Solo project cast photo this week, wow, the “SW” Facebook page deteriorated into the childish and moronic “if you don’t want this; you’re not a fan” generation-gap mentality argument pretty damn quickly.

I don’t know how alone I am in this, but being one of the people who were part of the last Lucasfilm/fan focus group; I, at least, can say that I have pretty much directly told Lucasfilm in no uncertain terms what I thought of this particular project and I assure you that my comments were not very pretty and, in my opinion, rather scathing.  I must state for all purposes that I did that knowing that the “go/no-go” point to have this project green lit was at least 18 months ago and understand that anything I had to say had absolutely no effect on the outcome.

I can see that this film has currently split the fandom somewhat evenly, but I think the “don’t want” have the edge for the time being.  I know that there will be fans who are not happy about this project now who will be swept up in the coming months as more BTS shots are released, and there might be a “something” at this year’s Celebration to give buzz about, and there are many fans are looking forward to it.  Yes, there will also be those fans who will see it 6 times (at least) and whom will take to the myriad of social media platforms to tell just everyone who watches or listens or reads just how much they hated it every single time they saw it.  

But is this project a good idea – no, it is not.  Personally, for those of us who continue to feel Solo’s fate in TFA deeply, simply have not been allowed to grieve by Disney/Lucasfilm and this as-yet-untitled-Han Solo project does very much feel like the character is barely cold in his grave and we are being presented with a new step-father and told to call him “daddy”.  OK, that’s probably a bit too Drama Queen-y, but, gorramit, it’s how I feel.

These standalone projects highlight Disney’s business model need for this franchise - a “SW” film every year ad infinitum.  They are also, unfortunately, the embodiment of Lucas’ extremely ill chosen and inelegant analogy made during his Charlie Rose interview in 2015.  However, the decision for the return to the May release date is in itself fascinating (for those of you interested in the business of distribution) as it actually doesn’t give the title the potential longevity of theatrical release as keeping the mid-December date does, but hey; that’s likely to be all about getting it onto the home entertainment market ASAP to recoup that ROI, but I digress ... Would it have been better if the decision had been made to simply find a new director for the Boba Fett project and proceed with that?  Yes and no.

I say yes, because following the character’s somewhat gauche exit in ROTJ, Boba Fett’s “myth” has become even more entrenched especially being one of the remarkably few (and I am counting the fingers on one hand) OT characters that has a rich (read cinematic) backstory exploitation potential. And, hey, his costume’s, like, really cool!

I say no, because it doesn’t take away the “meat-grinder” element of what this fandom has to now accept.   And those canon novels, comics and video games will simply not write themselves.

As a 1 of those characters ripe for cinematic exploitation – Han Solo has it all.  Being the eldest of the original OT triumvirate, his backstory is an untapped source, which if handled correctly, could go for more than 1 film (and I don’t care what Hidalgo vehemently countered last year on his Twitter regarding the “news” of possibly more than 1 Han Solo film; potential further Solo sequels or similar is likely to have been considered due to Disney’s business model and the last thing the studio want is to keep negotiating with Alden Ehrenreich’s reps especially as this could open big enough).   Considering the career that Harrison Ford went on to have; Solo has audience brand awareness like you wouldn’t believe and is consistently voted as The Favourite “SW” CharacterTM.  This was very much put to maximum use for TFA when that film was sold to the general public on Ford’s back.  

Disney, like all companies, has its shareholder obligations and therefore quarterly projections to meet.  And I have no doubt whatsoever, that numbers have already been run for this as-yet-untitled Han Solo offering (but please, indulge me a second time while I contribute some title suggestions:  “21 Jump Falcon” or “48 Parsecs” or tapping into Kennedy’s western idea, “Butch Calrissian and the Sundance Solo” or maybe it should just be “Firefly” …  Oh, wait, that last 1 already happened, didn’t it?) so there’s an idea of possible BO both domestic and worldwide that will be gaining traction within the Mouse House.    Just add the audience …

As a Han Solo/Harrison Ford fan for 4 decades I have a number of issues with this as-yet-untitled-Han Solo project (bet you’re surprised by that, huh?)  The primary one is this:  Following the events regarding this character in TFA, why on Earth would I, as a consumer, want to buy into a Han Solo film, especially when it has been written by 2 of the architects of the character’s fate and personality in TFA?

I was never a particular fan of the former EU, so I never bought into the Han/Leia white picket fence around the Millennium Falcon scenario as was presented.  But I most definitively do not buy into the never around father and husband as presented by J J Abrams and Lawrence Kasdan in TFA (which is being currently cemented by both Chuck Wendig and Claudia Gray into a man who felt confined in his relationship and impending fatherhood, more interested in racing and general itchy-feet in their “canon” novels) as it would appear that their Han Solo remained as we first met him in ANH.  My Han Solo grew up without knowing who his parents were, very much lived a hand-to-mouth existence on whatever planet’s streets – an “SW” version of the Artful Dodger if you will, and yet was able to pull himself out of wherever to make it to the Imperial Navy to pursue a dream.   I, personally, have great difficulty in acknowledging how that Han Solo would condone his child to a similarly emotionally difficult life.  Han Solo was at that point in ANH and by the end of ROTJ, he’d found enduring friendship (the people he’d dismissed at the beginning rescued him at great danger to themselves), companionship (he’d developed love) and a sense of belonging (he stayed with the Rebellion – yes, in the beginning it was likely for ulterior motives, but not by the closing shots of ROTJ) – that is a character arc which someone who has experienced the worst that life could throw their way would not easily give up.  As it stands, for me, the Han Solo of TFA is tantamount to character assassination solely for our leisure cash.

Of course, I understand that the Han Solo we will be presented with in the as-yet-untitled-Han Solo project will be the Han of ANH as the Messer’s Kasdan can put the character in more thrilling situations, and minus Leia, give him a passing, but no doubt intense love interest.  But we’ve seen how this character’s story ends - being callously murdered for narrative purposes on the modern screenwriting altar of cheap audience manipulation; so, again, why should I spend my hard earned money on this?  And anyway, with Woody Harrelson admitting that his character’s name is Garris Shrike, I can only wonder just how much of this film will be owe to A C Crispin’s 1997 Han Solo trilogy novels (yes, OK, former EU has no place …  Right …) The very sad thing is that if this film has scenarios recognizable to her novels there is likely to be no credit for Ms Crispin which is beyond awful while the Messer’s Kasdan will call it their own work.

The last fan focus group survey was about this project and it would appear that I was one of very, very few people who actually knew who Ehrenreich is and could recognise a photo of him.  I have seen his performance in “HAIL, CAESAR!” and enjoyed it; in fact it was of a standard that I would expect of a Coen Brothers production, so do I think he will give a poor performance?  Most definitely not; but his Han Solo will not be my Han Solo and creatives/business involved in this ignore that at their error.

Rightly or wrongly, I feel that a lot of this has to be with clearing the copyright decks of Lucas’ vision (and again whatever you think of Lucas IN THE SLIGHTEST; you feel it BECAUSE you bought into his original creation) and as I’ve stated earlier, there is an element of churning out product.  I am of a certain age where I feel that quality is superior to quantity, but I also accept that there are fans (regardless of age) who are extremely happy with the thought of a film every year ad infinitum and all good luck to you.  If your question is do I think it will be a bad film?  No; no it will not, no one spends the money these days on film production expecting to make a bad film!

Once upon a time, the former EU evolved from the foundation of the OT and weaved its own path for 6 years until the announcement was made in ‘96/97 regarding the PT.  By 2005, Lucas expressed that in his opinion there were 3 streams for “SW”:  The films which was his vision and which were canon (just think, kids, there was a time when if it wasn’t on screen it simply wasn’t canon); then there was the merchandise, which included the EU, comics, etc; and lastly there was ours, the fans’, “SW” – and none of those necessarily met in a neat junction, but all ran parallel with the films trumping everything, and Lucas (whether you remain supportive or dismissive) very much recognized that, and as long as the fandom played that game, acknowledged the fandom in a manner in which no other entertainment producing entity every has or is likely to again.

The last word I have to make regarding this as-of-yet-untitled Han Solo project is this:  I can not wait for the utterly ridiculous blustering explanation that will come from Pablo Hidalgo and the Lucasfilm Story Group either in a direct social media proclamation or a canon novel which addresses how a mature adult male in his mid-20s grew 5 inches by the time that mature adult male was in his mid-30s or will that physical element simply be part of the “this is your Han Solo now” mentality?

[pumpkins-s]

Spilling Like An Overflowing Sink

Read on AO3 Here

Read the Other Chapters on Tumblr Here

Lance Alexander Rafael McClain is born in the middle of a summer storm, thunder cracking and rain slamming onto the roof of an old ramshackle house that had seen more than its fair share of children.

The miracle baby, that’s what the family had called Lance. The unexpected son to a mother of five daughters.

(In which family is always complicated, Lance’s life hasn’t been all sunshine and rainbows, and he and Keith are really emotionally constipated for each other.)

Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender

Relationships: Keith/Lance, significant platonic Lance & Hunk

Characters: Lance, Lance’s family, Hunk, Keith, Shiro, Pidge, Allura, Coran

Chapter 7: Lifelines

((Author’s Note: 

Yoooo.

So this wasn't originally where I was going to place a chapter break, but in honor of season 2, I figured I'd put out one last chapter before the new season drops. (Ironically this chapter ended up pretty lighthearted so consider it your break before shit goes south again.)

I have it on good word that there'll be some Lance backstory in season 2 (a friend of a friend works for the Voltron team), so chances are after season 2 this fic will no longer be canon compliant. I love this story, so I fully intend on continuing writing it, but I'll have to wait and see what content is in season 2 before I decide how much of it SLAOS will adhere to. If I don't agree with certain things, I may just go with my original plans for the "voltron canon" part of this story, but if I find the season workable with the versions of these characters I've written, I'll try to keep as canon compliant as possible, minus what's already been established in this fic.

Anyways, enjoy. I'll see y'all over on the other side of the new season, yeah? <3))

“Hey Mavis? Question.”

“Yeah, sure …Hold on lemme just get my waffles out of the toaster… Okay, shoot.”

“Why are you making waffles at midnight? Wait, never mind, that wasn’t the question. What’s the point of flirting?”

From the other end of the line, Mavis splutters, and there comes a loud hacking noise, followed by a bout of coughing. Wincing, Lance holds the phone away from his ear and waits for the noise to subside.

“Why are you asking me that?” Rings out loudly, even without the phone near his face.

Lance frowns, bringing the phone back closer. “The waffles? Well you mentioned them first…”

“Not that!” Mavis screeches. “The other question! And don’t question my eating habits I am an adult I’ll eat waffles when I damn well please to. Why are you asking me about flirting at midnight, huh? Wait— You’re eleven why are you even awake?”

“It’s a private magnet school, and we have a test on Friday.” Lance deadpans, stretching out on his bed and poking a socked foot gently into Ritzie’s side where she’s asleep at the foot of the bed, face planted on top of her open biology textbook. She snorts in her sleep at the movement, rolling over slightly, and Lance stifles a giggle. “Sleep is for the weak.”

And his friends, apparently, he thinks, noting Hunk and Yuu’s sleeping forms on the other side of the room, Hunk on his bed, Yuu leaning against the base of it on the floor, notes scattered around them.

Over the phone, Lance hears Mavis grumble, and he grins. “So you never answered my question?”

“Oh dear lord.” Mavis sighs. “Ok hold on I’m gonna need some fucking… maple syrup to get through this shit. And maybe vodka.” There’s the sound of clinking on Mavis’s end as she presumable fetches something, and then her voice returns. “So why are you asking me about flirting?”

“Dunno.” Lance says. “Just noticed some classmates are apparently into that now.”

Lance was aware that he was among the younger students in many of his classes, and that meant there would be some things the older children… er, teenagers, would do that he might not get, but this one appeared to be a new habit with the students a year or two above him. He’d consulted his resident teenager first, but Ritzie had launched into a rant about the stupidity of hormonal teens and the patriarchy, which hadn’t been very helpful, and Lance had figured asking Yuu was going to be even more unenlightening, which meant he was fresh out of primary sources to consult.

Well, he supposes Hunk is technically nearly a teenager now, too, but that is��� too weird to think too hard about. Hunk probably hadn’t noticed anyways. He was at his most perceptive when suspicious or feeling like snooping, but otherwise out of the two of them Lance generally did the people-reading, and left Hunk to handle the machines and general common sense.

“I don’t know, Lance.” Mavis says, sounding somewhat disgruntled, but just slightly amused, as well. “Apparently some people just do that when they get older. When they like someone, I guess.”

Lance huffs. “Boring.”

Mavis snorts loudly. “I don’t know what to tell you, buddy. People are boring.”

“I mean what’s it for. There’s got to be a purpose? Something it’s useful for?”

“Mmm…” Mavis hums, voice lilting. “Well, if you want to look at it like that…” She trails off, the sound of fingers tapping against a table echoing across the line, and Lance knows he has her hooked. “I guess, not that I have any personal experience or anything,” She coughs awkwardly, “it’s good for reading people? How a person reacts to advances like that gives you a big clue into how their personalities work. And if they’re receptive, you could use that for manipulation, or to get something you want from them. Or if they’re not… It’s a way to annoy them and throw them off their game. Plus, it’s something to do, right? Gives you an excuse to talk when you’re bored and want to get a read on stuff and some attention, without it seeming obvious that you’re trying to be a snoop.”

“…And this is all just theoretical musings on your part?” Lance deadpans.

“Yes! Definitely.”

“Y’know, if you weren’t my cousin I’d be very afraid of you becoming a criminal mastermind.” Lance says solemnly, and fails to stifle his grin when Mavis laughs loudly.

“You’re the one that asked me for useful reasons for it!”

“Hey, I mean you did give me what I was looking for.” Lance answers, sitting up and pushing his bangs out of his eyes. “I like knowing how I can use something to my advantage. Lot more useful than the ‘birds and the bees’ talk Marcie tried to give me when I asked her.”

“And you say you’re not half as manipulative as me.” Mavis chides, and Lance giggles. Idly, he swings his legs off the edge of the bed and stands, careful to move quietly as not to wake his sleeping companions as he slips into the adjoined bathroom and flicks on the light.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Lance says innocently, tucking his phone between his shoulder and his ear so he can reach for his face wash on the bench, extracting it from the neatly arranged stacks of colorful bottles. He’d originally started out the year with one face wash on the bench, but between Marcie sneaking this and that into his bags, and stuff he’d semi-accidentally pilfered from Ritzie’s bathroom, Lance now had a wide assortment of face cleansers, washes, and moisturizers. All things considered, he figured it was a harmless enough habit to indulge in. People were hardly regularly coming through his and Hunk’s bathroom aside from themselves and occasionally Ritzie or Yuu, and if anyone ever asked about it, Lance imagined that, with several older sisters, saying they’d instilled a mentality of proper skin care on him at a young age, which was true anyways, wouldn’t be too hard to believe. Regardless, it was a small and relatively secret habit that helped him feel… more like himself. He couldn’t have his clothing or his hair or the box of shiny lip gloss and glittery nail polish back, but this was safe.

“Mhmm. Sure.” Mavis’s voice is lilting, poorly hiding her amusement, before she pauses. “…Is that it? You usually don’t call this late.”

Lance winces. “It was on my mind?” He tries, rubbing the face wash into his skin carefully.

“Lance.” Mavis chides firmly. “What’s really going on? If it was just about flirting you would have texted me instead.”

“I don’t know, okay?” Lance snaps slightly. Mavis is silent on the other end, and Lance sighs, closing his eyes. “…Sorry. I just felt… jittery. Couldn’t sleep.”

“…Is it about summer break?”

Lance blinks, not sure whether to curse or thank Mavis’s ever-present ability to read into what’s going on, even hundreds of miles away. “I guess?”

“You worried about going home?” Mavis says, and Lance frowns, contemplating.

“I don’t think so?” He hesitates, trying to sort out his jumbled thoughts into words. “I’m excited to see everyone, spend time with them without having to worry about going back to Greenwood a day or two later, and I like summer, but…”

“But it’s three months.” Mavis finishes, picking up smoothly. “Three uninterrupted months in Veradera, with no breaks from everyone.”

“…And no Loraine.” Lance says quietly, acknowledging the elephant in the room. “They all think I’ve gotten so much better, that I’m handling everything so well— What if I can’t keep it together that long? I don’t want to ruin everyone’s summer with them worrying over me again. It’s not fair to them.”

Mavis hums. “It’s not selfish to need help, Lance.”

“But it’s not fair either. They feel guilty, I feel smothered, and everyone just ends up miserable. I’m…” He thinks of the gentle hands of his sisters picking him up and soothing him when he has a panic episode, of Hunk’s bone-weariness, yet determined patience, as he hides the sharp things and wraps up Lance’s arms when he hits the breaking point each time. It’s not as bad as it was when Loraine first… died, but Lance knows he isn’t coping, really. Oh, yes, he’s gotten good enough at hiding it from his family on the short weekend visits, to soothe their worries, but now that just leaves the onus on Hunk to deal with Lance when, inevitably, the cracks begin to show. “I’m tired of being everyone’s burden.”

Mavis pauses, and while Lance can’t see her, he can imagine her on the other end of the line, perched on some chair with her feet on a table as she twists her hair around a finger and glares contemplatively at some random object. Between what he saw of Mavis before she left home, and of the occasional video chats they’ve had, he’s gotten relatively adept at picking up Mavis’s body language, helped in part by the fact many of her idle habits are much like his own, if only slightly more aggressive at any given moment. He thinks maybe it might have something to do with the fact that he picked up most of his habits from Loraine, who in turn might have adopted some from Mavis— They were two of the closer in age after all, Mavis herself only a year older than Evie, making her five older than Loraine. It’s not hard to picture his sister at eight or nine trying to imitate her cool thirteen-year-old cousin.

Though, by that reasoning, Lance supposes it’s fair to draw the conclusion that all his siblings and cousins had picked up some behaviors from one another.

“Why don’t you come stay with me for a bit then?”

“What?” Lance jolts, snapping out of his idle thought derailment.

“You don’t want to do three continuous months in Veradera, right? Take a break. Come up to stay with me for a couple weeks during the summer in July or August or something.”

“…Really?” Lance gapes, and across the line Mavis snorts.

“Yes, really. It’ll be fun. I’ll take you to the theater I’ll be doing some tech work in this summer, walk you around the tourist parts of the city. Can’t afford to shop there, but we can make fun of tourists or something.”

“But I thought…” Lance frowns, unconsciously staring down at his moisturizer bottle like it holds the answers to the universe. “You liked your space? You don’t really come home much. Or… at all, really.”

“Because everyone always begs me to stay.” Mavis says. “You don’t. You’re a good kid, Lance. I like coddling you a bit, and I’m not a coddling person.”

“I know you aren’t.” Lance says quietly.

“Just think about it, yeah? You can bring Hunk if you want, or something.”

“No!” Lance yelps, before he can stop himself, slapping a hand over his mouth.

“No?” She pauses. “…You two aren’t fighting, are you? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you two have a fight. Or even a spat, for that matter.”

“No, of course not.” Lance mumbles. “It’s just… I had an episode the other day, and when Hunk was bullying me into eating and sleeping after, it made me realize that… I’ve kinda forced him to be stuck dealing with my problems? He deserves a break.”

Mavis sighs. “You know he probably doesn’t look at it like that, right? That boy loves you to death, Lance, es evidente, plain as day. Whether you two choose to define that as familial or something else is up to you, but my point is, he’s probably more worried about you than he is annoyed with any perceived inconveniences.”

“That’s it, though. He’s stuck worrying about me all the time. He’s scared to leave me alone on a bad day in case I hurt myself again. He’d run himself into the ground trying to help because he’s a good person like that, and I’m the kind of cabrón who’d let him.”

Mavis clucks her tongue. “Language. And I think you’re overthinking things, you should just talk to him.”

“Maybe.” Lance admits, padding out of the bathroom, flicking the light off behind him, and over to his bed, wiggling in and grabbing azul from where he keeps it hidden under the pillow and hugging it to his chest, tucking its soft blue fur under his chin. “I don’t know. Thank you anyways Mavis. I’ll… think about New York.”

“Alright.” Mavis says with an air of resignation, obviously sensing an end to the conversation. “Goodnight Lance.”

“Goodnight Mavis.” He whispers.

Two weeks later, Lance finishes the last of his finals, exchanging amused glances across the room with Ritzie as they scrawl down answers on paper, and then goes home to Veradera.

Despite all his worries, he finds the comfort of being back outweighs any lingering anxiety he feels. He moves back into his old room— The room that was once his, Loraine’s, and Karen’s, and now only belongs to him, and, more unofficially, Hunk, Karen still living in the other room his sisters share, and Igraine having moved into Lucas’s room and taking Carlos’s old space there to make more space.

“I know it was weird for you, having Karen back in your room when she was gone most of the time, especially right after… Loraine.” Evie tells him quietly the one and only time he asks her about sleeping arrangements, guilt at having driven his older sister out of her room last summer still hugging his chest. “She’s not mad about it, promise. It worked out, anyways. Gave Igraine an excuse to move into Lucas’s room so the two of them can stay up all night gossiping. It’s good, I think Lucas was getting lonely with both Mavis and Carlos out of the house.”

Loraine’s bed still stays in its corner, the walls above it littered with pictures of their family, of Lance at varying ages, of constellations. It’s… more or less Lance’s now, he supposes. He’d slept in it so many nights over the previous summer, blindly seeking comfort in the remnants of the smell of Loraine’s shampoo on her pillows, that he’d kept up the habit on his weekends back home during the school year more out of instinct than anything else.

And now, it’s summer again, a whole cycle passed, and if he hasn’t managed to rid himself of this coping mechanism before, Lance doubts he’ll suddenly start doing so soon.  

So Loraine’s bed becomes his, and his bed is relegated to Hunk, on the nights the two of them don’t just share. Hunk’s actual bed back at his own house goes more or less unused, but that isn’t anything new, Hunk has practically lived here for years— His grandmother, too, honestly, spending her days on the porch or in the lounge with Lance’s own grandparents.

So, yes, in that fashion things really haven’t changed.

He makes Loraine’s… his bed a mess of blankets and pillows, azul tucked up in the middle of it, pins a couple photos of himself, Hunk, Ritzie, and Yuu from school to empty spaces in the wall above the headboard, and tries to forget the jarringly empty space next to him.

It’s not that hard to find distractions, at least. Lance had forgotten just how… alive his family is. It doesn’t really hit him how much he’s missed out on until he’s being introduced to Carlos and Rachel’s new baby, Josie’s long-awaited sibling, and he realizes in the couple weeks he chose not to come home to study for finals, he somehow missed the baby’s birth. When it slowly dawns on him just how much change and growth in their lives he has missed in his self-pity, Lance pushes himself into trying to be there for all of them.

He decides to take it as a marking point of change. Nicky, his newest cousin, is all the fragile smallness and tiny features Lance remembers Josie being, with the brown hair and slight curls that are predominant in their family, and the dark eyes that everyone but Lance has, his own blue eyes now an anomaly without the matching pair that used to look at him with joy and love.

Lance can’t change the past, but he can, at least, hold himself to this. Even if he cannot fix his broken pieces, this new, youngest member of their family will never see the jagged edges that make up Lance’s heart.

With luck, perhaps Josie will never remember that Lance either. She’s not even four, after all. Children forget so easily.

Either way, it’s a promise Lance holds himself to.

He helps his mother and aunts around the house, visits Carlos and Rachel’s house to mooch some breakfast from them on the good mornings, takes Josie to the beach on the sunny days with Hunk, plays scrabble with his grandparents, occasionally letting them win, and tried to be happy… or at least look it.

Mavis is his saving grace, the patient voice on the other end of the phone when he talks to her at night, perched on the roof with a blanket around his shoulders as he watches the stars.

“Spend more time with your sisters.” Mavis chides him over the phone when he recounts his days. “They miss you.”

“It’s… different.” He tells her, spilling out the unsaid words and quiet secrets into the night air where he trust only she will hear him. “Everything’s different now. I don’t know how to be their Lance. What if they don’t—”

“Have a little faith in them.” Mavis’s voice is firm, allowing no argument. “Evie helped you get into your school, Igraine keeps that stupid hoverbike in working condition for when you’re old enough for it, Karen moved rooms to give you your space, and Marcie calls me constantly hoping to hear how you’ve been doing through me when you don’t pick up her calls. They love you, Lance. Loraine or no Loraine, that doesn’t change. They’re still your hermanas. Give the bonds you have with them another chance.”

And so, because Lance knows Mavis is rarely wrong about these things, if ever, he does.

He sits with Evie around the computer and asks her about the work she does, coaxing her away from the screen for a trip to the dairy on the beachfront for an ice cream when she overworks herself.

He goes to the park on cooler afternoons with Karen, hand in hers when they cross streets because she still thinks of him as little and in need of protection, asks her to teach him new skills he’s seen her do, and delights in the way her face lights up at the opportunity to talk to him about the sport she loves.

He helps Marcie brush and braid her hair at night, chatters with her about the gossip she’s heard from the housewives at the salon, and helps her fix the holes in her clothing with careful stitching, accepting her excited offers to teach him how to embroider little flowers along collars and let out and take up hems so a skirt can be worn longer.

He takes trips with Hunk to visit Igraine at the mechanic’s, helping her with the pet project motorbikes she keeps hidden in the back, suggesting outrageous paint colors for each restoration cheerfully from his seat while Hunk vehemently argues against them, and on the occasional weekend morning, walks with Igraine to the scattering of trees near their house where she has tied up old milk cartons and bottles from the branches to shoot at with her paintball gun.

Igraine’s always done this. She taught Lance to shoot as well at a young age, but it still surprises Lance to find how often she does it now, sometimes disappearing early in the mornings and spending hours sitting against a tree and painstakingly landing a hit on every target in view. Watching her grim face and sullen eyes on those days, when Lance sneaks after her and she doesn’t realize he’s there, he comes to the realization that perhaps he isn’t the only one that has developed some odd coping habits since Loraine’s death.

After that, he makes a point to spend more time with Igraine.

She catches him following her only once on one of her early morning sneak-and-shoot sessions, but instead of getting angry she just glances at him and pats the empty spot on the ground next to her, already loading up another shot.

“I taught Loraine to shoot, too.” She tells him after a long moment of silence, avoiding his eyes as she places her paintball gun in her lap and fiddles with the adjustments. “Like I taught you. A natural, she was. I had to work to learn to hit a target, but Loraine? She could hit a perfect shot easy by the time she was only ten or eleven. Much like you, the same innate talent.”

Lance frowns, studying Igraine’s face, and finally she glances down at him, smiling slightly. “I was so excited when she was born, but I remember throwing a fit when I heard her name. Having a sister who’s name ended with -raine as well? It’s not like Marcie or Karen had to share their names. “ She chuckles. “I remember for months I refused to call her by her name, so I came up with any other variant possible. Lori ended up sticking, even after I accepted her as Loraine as well.” Igraine ducks her head. “When I told her that’s how she got that nickname she laughed and laughed.” She pauses. “She was never like that with you. When you were born I thought she’d throw a temper tantrum like I did, over you both having names that started with L, but she was delighted. Kept hugging you and saying it meant you matched.”

“…Really?” Lance asks quietly, glancing down sheepishly when Igraine looks at him.

“Really, really.” She hums softly. “Y’know, I don’t think you ever cried when she held you, not even once. First time I picked you up, you screamed bloody murder, and Marcie got a foot in her face the first time she held you. You’d settle for Mamá, sometimes, but Loraine... You were always quiet for her. The two of you would spend hours, Loraine sitting on the couch with you in her arms, just… staring at each other.” Igraine chuckles quietly. “Course, guess I shouldn’t be surprised Loraine was so good about it all. She was so selfless, loving. Never behaved like a selfish brat like I did.”

“You’re not selfish, Igraine.” Lance says softly, leaning in and resting his head on his sister’s shoulder. “And no, I don’t think Loraine ever held a grudge against you trying to rename her as a baby.”

Igraine snorts. “Nah, you’re right, probably not.” She tips her head down, resting it on top of Lance’s, and sighs. “I wish… I wish I’d known about the Garrison, had convinced her to go, promised her we’d figure it out. She wanted more than Veradera, her whole life. I knew it, we all did, and she gave that up because, when she deserved most to be just a little bit selfish for once in her life, she still chose to give.”

“That’s who Loraine was.”

“That’s how you are, too.” Igraine says patiently, humor lilting in her words. “I won’t deny that I’m proud of you for what you’re doing, Lance. I just hope you’re doing it for the right reasons. Don’t sacrifice yourself for something that wasn’t your fault.”

“Selfless would be staying here, in Veradera, with all of you.” Lance says, shaking his head just slightly against Igraine’s shoulder. “What I’m doing is beyond selfish.”

“No, it’s not.” Igraine says lightly. “You are just as unselfish as Loraine always was, Lance. Me? I wish I could be like that. Instead, when I think of Loraine, of what she wanted and never got, all I can think is that… “ She sighs, slumping forward. “I’m so afraid to die in Veradera.”

Lance blinks, mulling over Igraine’s words. “…Is this about the Marines?” Above him Igraine stiffens, and Lance sighs. “Loraine and I found the brochures you and Lucas had hidden years ago.”

Igraine laughs wetly. “Well. You two were always ahead of the game.”

“Igraine…” Lance pauses, closing his eyes. “Igraine, if that’s what you want, then do it. Wanting to be happy? That’s not selfish, that’s what you deserve…. Lucas too, if he’s still with you on that.”

His sister chuckles, turning her face into Lance’s hair, and when Lance feels the warm wetness of tears on his face from above, he reaches out and hugs Igraine’s arm in front of him.

“How am I going to tell Mamá…?”

“I’ll help you.” Lance says firmly, feeling the resolve settle in his bones. Distantly, another, separate conversation of hesitant decisions, whispered over a phone in the dead of night, comes to mind, and he sucks in a breath. “I’ll help you… if you help me with something, too.”

“Help you with what?” Igraine asks readily, even with her voice laced with confusion.

“Mavis offered to let me come stay with her for a bit during the summer. If you help me convince Mamá to let me go, I’ll help you convince her too.”

Igraine chuckles. “New York, huh?” She nods, hugging Lance tighter as they sit there on the ground. “Alright, mini-stalk. You’ve got yourself a deal.”

…In the end, they both get what they want.

Lance’s mother is less than happy with Igraine’s little announcement, and neither is Aunt Lupe, when she finds out Lucas is going along with it as well, but, much as they were with Lance, they are accepting of their children’s decision, even if they fret over the dangers of military service. Ultimately though, it’s Marcie who takes it the hardest, immediately bursting into tears when Igraine announces things much in the same manner Lance and Hunk did about Greenwood.

The thing about Marcie, Lance thinks, is that she sees her younger siblings heading down a path she cannot, will not follow. Evie stayed home because she feared the world, but inevitably lives in another world of numbers only she knows, Karen left early to chase her dream, and only came back once they needed her… and until not long ago, Lance, Loraine, and Igraine remained in Veradera.

Except now Igraine is leaving, Loraine is dead, and Lance is a shadow chasing a lost dream.

And Marcie? Marcie, who stepped into the head of the household when their mother first got sick, Marcie, who guards her younger siblings and cousins with her life, cannot bring herself to leave. Marcie, single, living with her family at just past thirty, sees her life, her duty here in Veradera, to hold down house and home in their mother’s place if she ever gets sick again.

It’s part of who Marcelia McClain is, and it’s part of why Lance loves and respects his oldest sister so much, but he also knows it’s why her heart aches every time their family stretches further apart.

Losing Loraine affected each of them, in their own way, and for Marcie, Lance knows, it made her only want to protect her baby siblings more.

Still, when Igraine announces her decision, Marcie cries, soothes their mother in her worried, and tells Igraine she is proud of her— Because Marcie, first and foremost, wants her family to be happy.

It’s painful to watch his sisters cry, but in a way, it feels like a balm of the jagged edges of Lance’s soul. No matter what, they are still a family.

Regardless, getting permission to go to New York is fairly easy, in comparison.

“Nurse Lance.” Mavis says with a laugh when he tells her. “Out to solve everyone’s problems but your own.”

Lance huffs, feigning insult, and thinks of selfishness, for what you want, what you need, and selflessness, for reparations to mistakes.

“It’s what I do best.”

New York is densely packed blocks of walk-ups and office buildings, cracked concrete on rushing swarms of feet, and a scorching blast of summer heat at least fifteen degrees warmer than Maryland is that Lance is distinctly aware of minute he steps off the plane. For all that Lance thought he’d gotten a handle on city traffic living at Greenwood in the middle of D.C., the capital has nothing on the simple busy-ness of New York.

It’s terrifying, but a little fascinating as well.

When he sees Mavis waiting for him in the airport, short hair tied back in a half-hearted ponytail, sunglasses pushed up onto her forehead to keep the stray locks that don’t stay pulled back with the rest of her hair off her face, and slurping loudly from a mostly-empty bubble tea cup as she stands there in her jeans and dark red flannel she’s owned since he was a toddler, Lance can kind of see how this city has ensnared his cousin. She just somehow kind of… looks right here.

“Lance.” She says when he walks up to her, seemingly aloof until he pulls his suitcase to a stop, and then she pounces on him, hugging him tightly and resting her nose in his hair. “Good to see you, kiddo.”

He laughs, feeling oddly relieved, and hugs her back in return. There’s no secrets to disguise here, not in such a big place where no one knows him, and not from Mavis, who just intuitively knows. “It’s good to see you, too.”

[kindabraveandlittlestupid]

There is something growing in society. Perhaps it’s always been there and perhaps it has its purpose but with social media, the internet's connectivity and all that it is becoming more pronounced. I personally refer to it as “Burning Everything You love” it's commonly connected to the Hipster Culture; where they are hypercritical of things they are themselves involved in and take ownership of said thing while simultaneously tearing it down and of course denying others access to that same passion. Truth be told while Hipsters are the easy target,  society collectively picks on them because of this but a majority of people engage in this behavior themselves (especially those who hate hipsters if only because they see their own reflection).

This BEYL mentality is something we all seem to enjoy indulging in. Myself included reviewing movies, games, shows, and so on picking them apart instead of simply enjoying them for being apart of my world. I am guilty of letting this side of me run rampant once or twice hating things that I had no reason to hate on or become overly critical of things I truly love. This form of criticism can be healthy in the sense that we can use it to examine things and explore how we might improve them, however, if left unchecked (without purpose or function) it becomes like a cancer of the mind and begins to rip into everything we know.

It’s how fanboys of Star Wars take 30+ year obsession and become the biggest haters of the new movies for both a collection of valid and invalid reasons. It how progressive-minded people can be coaxed into believing that their party is NOT for them and suddenly find themselves associating with the alt-right and embracing apathy. It starts to gnaw at healthy relationships like a dog with a bone. It launches a meme culture that is all about trolling instead of uplifting people. It is Criticism with no function or purpose and dare I say its very toxic and highly addictive. So let's delve into the topic of Burning Everything You Love and see if we can reflect on this nasty social habit we all see online and in politics.

Critically Protective 

There are three glaring examples of Criticism in my mind in regards to BEYL: Protective, Possessive, and Destructive. Being Critically Protective is not always a bad thing. This is where healthy fandom exists, you love a thing there for you wish to see to respected and protected. This sort of criticism reflects on history, lore, previously set expectations, and so on. Its the reason why I said: “Why is the Stormtrooper black?” not because I had an issue with Finn but because we operated under the history that Stormtroopers were clones of Jango Fett. When they covered the history of switching from a clone army to using kids my criticism was immediately satisfied and had no reason to complain. People who held onto that criticism coldly might have been overly possessive or even destructive (racist) in their reasons for doing so.

Another element of being Critically Protective is caring for established lore. Using Star Wars again (I will do this a lot since it works for this subject) Disney decided to scrub the extended universe of all non-movie or cartoon related storylines. This naturally upset lots of fans who felt as though someone (or this case a large company) just invalidated their childhood in a big way. Being critically protective isn't always reflected inward on the material that fans analyze and review but it also reflects outwards at others who would see to adjust things as they see fit with no regards to how people might feel.

Critically Possessive

The Possessive element is the first taste of toxicity that people have. A sample statement of toxicity would be “I was into Star Wars before you were born”. They claim a seniority or ownership to the content. Males certainly embraced these geeky fandoms in a bigger way than women but girls are getting more and more into these fictions become a significant part of the base. This Critical Possessiveness tries to repel new people age, gender, and even race. The Possessive mentality locks in the expectations of the series and are highly critical to anyone or anything trying to change things. Its hard to tell just where a person is on a spectrum because they might get upset with Space Leia flying around like Superman after her bridge gets blown up (I even hated that scene) which puts them closer to Protective because the lore/rules of the force has kinda already been established for the community and someone was taking some big creative license. On the other end, people might possessive of the male-centric dynamic and slip into a destructive mindset when a bigger female presence is adopted into the movies which is plain sexism.

Critically Destructive

Being Critically Destructive is quite simply embracing the dark side. Hating on the movies for the sake of hating on it because it makes you feel important. I am ashamed to say I have done this in the past hating the Twilight series for being a vampire romance having never read the books or seen the movies. I don’t know why I hated on those movies or what purpose it served me to shake my fist at them. I was perhaps Protective of the Vampire lore of burning in sunlight instead of sparkling like a disco ball but that's a poor excuse to become destructive.

This sort of unhealthy criticism finds itself home in many forms regardless of gender or age. I would argue the largest antidote to this is maturity but some people never grow up. It’s why some people will always hate Justin Bieber, will troll strangers online and seek out ways to upset people who have passions they care deeply about. It no longer seeks to protect the thing that they loved but instead, feasts on corpses defeated fandoms. I think back to the most recent vore fest which was Mass Effect Andromeda, former fans smelling blood in the water wanted to see it fail and started shitting on a game for have bugs. The former ME games also had bugs yet we let that slide because we loved what was delivered to us. Something changed among the people who loved Mass Effect and we suddenly became social piranas becoming Critically Destructive and forcing Bioware to shelf the next installment.

Healthy Criticism

Criticism only serves a purpose when seek to make suggestions on how to improve or protect the things we love. Imagine if you will your favorite movie or video game was in your hands and you took a crack at writing the next chapter. You put your twist to it and try to make it both new yet familiar to the people who enjoyed the previous works. Would you prefer the review of your work to be “Wrong? Lame. Impossible. Fucking Stupid, You Suck.” or would you rather have “What did you mean by this? The force can’t reach across space. We can improve on this scene.“ One clearly exists to pull you down which is Destructive Criticism and the other thoughtfully combs thru your work asking questions that are protective and caring for the story.

So long as we understand why we are being critical of certain elements and are willing to help improve on those things as good critics do. Then indulging in this sort of Criticism is ok.

Reflection on BEYL

I have existed on both ends of the spectrum in regards to this. Hating on musicians, movies, or books; I never heard, seen or read. At the same time, I have gotten wiser with age and learned to be critical of the right things by letting the movie correct me if I approached it with a misconception. I did this with Black Panther wondering why they would isolate themselves in their advanced city while the world in chaos which my critique was quickly resolved when it became apparent that was one of the main themes of the movie. I learned to put things into their proper places understanding not everything must go through an unforgiving review process as it was meant to entertain not be work of art. Watch any of the Fast of the Furious movies, really fun to watch if you aren't trying to pick them apart. 

I can't always turn off the critique in me but understanding if I becoming possessive or even needlessly destructive is the sort of reflection we can all benefit from. Maybe we will come to realize that we have all become too comfortable attacking the various fandoms we love. Perhaps we will also learn to listen to those who protect those fandoms and realize their critiques come from a good place (sometimes). That their opinions stop companies (gaming, movie,TV, etc) from doing what they want because let's be honest the people who hate all critics are the ones at the top who care more about a box office hit then respecting the lore. Thanks for reading.

Regards Michael California

[spaceslouie]

1. I just recently following your blog. And I find that we have same opinion for the most part, or from your tags anyway. This by no means that you’d agree with me but can I share my opinion with you. Like I think that so many people have been too critical about his solo works. We really dont know anything. I feel like, Louis have been so appreciative about the opportunity he got, but it looks like we as fan cant even give him a chance. What if he make do with what he got. What if all this was..

2. the only thing on his hand. He said it himself, limited people to work with. Like, maybe the 5 of them dont get the same offers? I dont find it weird that H got the amount of support he got, and Louis got minimum exposure. If we can see it in a professional way, the party that did the offering have their reasons. Sometimes you dont get what you want no matter how hard you work for it. Its reality. That doesnt mean Louis dont deserve it. And people tend to forget, what you find rewarding could

3. be different from others. We want the best for him, and thats just it.. Why does it needs to be by the other 1D guys standard. I’m really emotional talking about Louis. Like, I want to respect what he do. I dont know the struggle he faced. This is the guy who hates their merch, their early music. I feel like the fandom so quick to talk but rarely listen. I dont claimed to know him, but I feel that Hes grateful for this opportunity. And I take my cue from him for the life HE live. thankyou :)

wow i . . got an ask! sorry it took me a while to answer this babe (depending on when u sent it) i dont come on this blog alot, i kinda just made a tumblr as an outlet for my thoughts and frustrations and to have a place to talk about louis lol

anyways i think we do have pretty similar feelings about the way things are going - mostly mine are just summed up by ‘idk what to think but i love louis and his music’ lol 

To be real tho, i’ve been a 1D fan since i was 12, in 2011, and i was a larrie from like 2012 to pretty much a few months ago (not that im an ‘anti’ now or anything, i just dont kno what to think). For most of my time as a 1D fan (and especially a larrie) the culture w/ us has been, for better or worse, to hyper-analyze and doubt (for lack of better words) everything we’re given and told. Tbh, since i changed my perspective a few months ago (mostly bc of solo!harry), ive pretty much just been constantly reevaluating everything ive known for the past 5/6 years and i really just have pretty much NO idea what to think, whatsoever. 

When it comes to solo!louis, ive just been trying to take it as it comes. key word is trying, bc 5/6 years of having a rock-solid idea of the “”truth”” (our ideas about the boys, management, their relationships, etc) is alot to overcome when u try to be objective. 

When u say that ppl have been too critical of louis and his stuff, im not really sure which ppl u mean or if u just mean in general - ive definitely seen some ppl who seem to be critical just for the sake of it, or bc they actually dont like louis, which, ya, thats definitely too critical. But for some of the ppl being critical, it seems like theyre coming from the same place i was before i changed my perspective - if i hadnt been so put-off by solo!harry, i probly would still be just as dedicated to the fandom “”truth”” and i would be critical of solo!louis like i was/we were of everything else. 

Basically, at this point, i think its just habit for alot of ppl to be critical and cynical. Or, even more, its generally more comfortable (especially when weve been telling ourselves for 5+ years that we know the “truth”) to be critical (in an all-knowing way like when ppl say “those stunts are so transparent” or something) than to admit that theres alot we dont kno. Or to admit that louis hasnt had the opportunities we thought he would have/we think he deserves, and theres not really anything to do about it.

Are they right to be critical? I honestly totally dont kno. But basically im done being critical just bc other ppl are - if something strikes me as wrong and worth being critical of, right off the bat, then ill criticize it. But if everything seems ok to me and i have no reservations and i see someone else complaining and making a big deal about it, i guess thats how i decide when someone is being too critical. Thats when it seems to me like theyre being critical just for the sake of it or bc thats what theyre used to. I think its important in our culture (1D fan/louie culture), at least for me in the place im in now, to just trust ur own instinct instead of looking to others to see if things are good or not.

At first i was a little confused by ur ask(s) bc it seems a little contradictory - u talk about how louis didnt get the best opportunities, and then u say ppl are being too critical. But i think i understand (maybe im projecting tho, bc this is how i feel about it). I think what i (and u, if im understanding ur ask rite) am feeling is that ppl want to place blame - we all want the best for louis, and we’re upset that it doesnt seem that he got it. We all love and appreciate louis, so it can be hard to see how other ppl wouldnt and how he wouldnt get all the opportunities we think he deserves. So we go off on his team, simon cowell, his record label, the other boys, etc., and we criticize them and everything louis puts out bc its through them/connected to them. 

But it really all comes down to the fact that regardless of what we think louis deserves, we all know that what he gets probly wont match up to that. Youre rite, he literally said that he didnt get that many opportunities, and we have to accept that. No matter how much we love and admire him, we have to realize that for various reasons the rest of the world doesnt (at least not yet). He wasnt the most famous member of 1D, or the one pushed as the most talented, and the fact that he has a unique voice makes him kindof an acquired taste. 

We have to realize that he is, like u said, doing the best w what hes got. We dont have the power to give him more, so from my perspective im just enjoying what we get and supporting it in every way i possibly can. Bc thats what being a fan is about - enjoying what u get, and supporting it so u continue to get it. We can wish he had more opportunities available, and even ask for what we want from him in polite and lighthearted ways - like tweeting him about his album, or nominating him for awards (like teen choice and stuff), or posting/tweeting about how we wish we had a video/photoshoot/etc as long as its nice and not demanding. But ya basically we are not in a position to give him opportunities so our only job (if we want it, which, being a louie, i do) is to support what he puts out. 

You said: “Like, maybe the 5 of them dont get the same offers? I dont find it weird that H got the amount of support he got, and Louis got minimum exposure. If we can see it in a professional way, the party that did the offering have their reasons. Sometimes you dont get what you want no matter how hard you work for it.” Basically, i totally agree w this and i think its totally ok to just enjoy what we get from louis w/o constantly worrying about how were getting it/what we ‘should’ be getting.

I am frustrated, and always have been, that louis doesnt get what the other boys do, but thats just the way it is. We have to accept that there isnt always someone to blame - for various reasons, louis has had less opportunities than the other boys, and theres nothing we can do about it. I would even go as far to say its not necesarily an injustice - like u said, he isnt the other boys, so we cant expect him to have the same situation as them. All we can do is support him and his music as much as we can/want to. 

anyway im SO sorry for turning this ask into a literal essay, i guess i had a lot to say and honestly im not sure how much of it is coherent or even on topic, it took me like an actual hour to write this all out and when i reread it… it didnt make as much sense as it did in my head lol. anyway i do think we hav some similar feelings and stuff and i really apreciate hearing ur thoughts! I hope we both get to enjoy bty (im so fuckin excited!!! from the teasers hes shared already its gonna be SO GOOD!!!) and i hope more good things happen for louis! tysm for sharing ur thoughts w me! 💙