#everything ever leads back to itsay actually

[purple-out-of-red-and-blue]

love the chinese embedded in this show, reminds me of itsay

[jemmo]

thank you to everyone that tagged me!!! i’ve never felt so popular in my life this is not good for my ego lol but im nosy so very much enjoyed reading all your responses @praninlove @nongnoopran @dribs-and-drabbles @santinie @ohmnomnom @patshoney

1. your all time favorite bl and why

ummm yeah its bad buddy. a bl has never really come close to this nor do i think it ever will. bc as well as all the billions of ways I and everyone else has gushed about this show, do you ever feel like a show has been hand-crafted just for you?? like it contains everything you love, all your favourite plot beats and character traits and storytelling devices. even the styling, the music, the sets, the cinematography, like its so up your street, it hits all the points, checks all the boxes, even the ones you didnt know were there. yeah, thats bad buddy for me. its like the holy and omnipotent p’aof plucked my dream show out of my head and just made it for me. and it is everything. 

2. that one bl that scarred you for life

yeah probs MODC, not even bc the ending broke me bc i was so invested in the story and characters, more so that it just felt... wrong? like bad and poorly done, and i’m more scarred that the show decided to leave me with the message of you will never be happy all good in the world is temporary when there could’ve been such a positive and uplifting ending... yeah, it sucked. 

3. is there any bl that made you feel very single?

bad buddy. their relationship dynamic is truly my dream. and not even just bc of their beautifully easy intimacy, or all their effortless cute moments. its more that i’m never gonna have a forced rival turned friend turned fake enemies turned maybe friends turned lovers turned husbands soulmate ever in my life. and thats a crime.

4. if you could change one thing from a bl, which one would it be?

this one took me too long to think about bc there’s a list of things i’d like changed. but one of my absolute pet peeves is over the top jealousy. and dont get me wrong, i do like jealousy as a plot point if its done well. but i cant stand when all it takes is a character breathing next to another guy for his partner to get pissed. and even worse when he tries to make them feel bad and guilty about it when they literally did nothing wrong. thats when its just excessive and unnecessary drama and plain bad writing and i hate it. 

5. that one bl you detest (don’t hold back)

this isn’t exactly detest but i’ll say it here bc i feel like its one of my only *controversial* opinions. i dont like light on me. where other korean bls aren’t long enough and rushed, light on me just felt unnecessarily dragged out. the plot moved at a snails pace and was just bland to the point that i cant really recall what happened. i wasn’t invested in the love triangle bc the only character i really liked was shinwoo, and i just didnt get anything much from taekyung, like i never felt that he really liked either of them. this is probably bc i dont care much for k-dramas in general and light on me felt very k-drama-ey but yeah. i very much appreciate it for what it did for bls in korea, but it aint for me. 

6. your top five:

1. bad buddy (you stay there you aint going anywhere)

2. wbl (and s2 bc i actually liked it)

3. itsay (and ipytm bc again i actually liked it)

4. he’s coming to me

5. atots

7. that trashy bl that you lowkey like

probs futs. i wasn’t around as it was airing but i hear ppl didn’t vibe with it. but binging it idk it was kinda just some harmless, dumb fun. i ddin’t get amazing chemistry between the leads but it wasnt the worst ive seen by far, and even though the drama was kinda contrived and messy, i kinda live for that mess. 

8. your favorite korean bl (it’s important we know)

to my star by farrrrrrrr. it didnt do anything genius but its easily the best chemistry ive seen between leads in korean bls. 

9. But also your top 3 for kbls:

1) to my star 2) where your eyes linger 3) you make me dance

10. season 2? which one?

i will say bad buddy purely bc i am biased and want to live in their world for as long as they’ll let me. i love pat and pran more than i could say and they could do a whole s2 of them just going to work, eating out and doing household chores and i’d hail it as a masterpiece.

but also, if i’d trust anyone to handle a s2 and not make it messy and unnecessarily dramatic and about cheating, it’d be p’aof. i just feel like he’d have the ability to create a storyline that was interesting and engaging and with stakes without having to separate the main couple and i’d love to see what he could come up with. 

11. a bunch of dramas will air soon. which ones are you the most excited for?

kinnporsche, between us, to my star s2, vice versa, the eclipse, moonlight chicken, never let me go

12. tag them!

if you see this and wanna do it then go for it, consider yourself tagged by me. but i will also tag @thecookiemonster77 i dont know if you’ve done this yet but i wanna see your responses 👀👀👀👀👀

[shortpplfedup]

Episode 1: Ice Breaking

Do you love me? I love you. Very much. That's all that matters.

We really just let kids fall in love and give them absolutely no tools to navigate it. Loving is a skill that we do not feel the need to teach. Balancing love and the world is so HARD. Why don't we talk to kids about love in that way? About the practicalities and details? I mean, maybe we spout platitudes about sacrifice and compromise and patience but we don't actually give them concrete, specific tools until something has already gone wrong. We treat love as this intrinsic thing that everybody knows instinctively how to do (and love IS something that you DO as opposed to something that you feel), but it's something you have to learn.

Act I: The sunflower and the sun

Oh Aew, the sunflower, turning his face to his sun.

Between Teh and Oh Aew, inside their bubble, everything is clear and simple. They way they feel is all that matters. Their aquarium date is the representation of that clarity and simplicity. They are in a literal 'air bubble' insulated from the dangers, the sharks and the crushing pressure of the environment. There are others around, but they are faceless, their words are a dull murmur, and not one of them is interested in what's going on between them anyway. For Teh and Oh, right now, love is easy, especially with Ma Sui's acceptance. They only have to look at each other.

Act II: When the safe zone becomes a trap

Every morning is colder and darker

I wonder if Teh and Oh Aew hadn't clung to each other at the very beginning, if they had started by keeping a boundary, by establishing separate lives in addition to their life together, whether this is where things would have ended up.

I actually had to go back and rewatch ITSAY to check, but it had never occurred to me to think of Oh Aew as shy or timid. I realise now that it's because when it comes to Teh he has been bold, the one out in the lead in comparison. But outside of Teh? He more or less fell into being friends with MoRaoYuLok. He liked Bas for months but never made a move. People are drawn to him when he lets himself be himself, but his homesickness and the cliquishness around him have led him to retreat to a safe zone, and his safe zone in Bangkok consists of one person: Teh.

And it's never ever a good idea to have one person be your entire world, especially when that person is prone to setting himself on fire to make you happy, and you are prone to burying your feelings to keep them around. As I said in my ITSAY episode 1 analysis, that is a powder keg of a relationship dynamic. As Teh burns the candle at both ends and runs himself ragged, Oh Aew becomes even lonelier. He finally finds the courage to put an end to it, but that seems to have been one of the last shreds of courage he had left.

Oh Aew seeing Q sitting by himself was kismet, serendipity. He needed a lifeline and it appears the universe tossed him one, because if Q had been sitting with the others, would Oh Aew have ever approached him?

Act III: Adjusting your eyes to the light

Teh now as the sunflower, wilting as his sun's light fades

Outside of Teh and his feelings for Teh, who is Oh Aew really? He's defined himself in opposition to Teh, in comparison to Teh and together with Teh, but never not in terms of Teh. In ITSAY episode 3, at Promthep Cape, he even says it himself:

I envy you. The thing is you knew what you loved, and you could narrate it scene by scene, and very clearly. Do you remember? I used to tell you that I wanted to beat you. Thank you so much for making me feel that way. Before that I never wanted to do anything. But when I wanted to beat you, it pushed me. You're like a rival and also an inspiration to me. Keep competing with me.

So now, when he has to forge a life outside of Teh, he struggles. It's never occurred to Oh Aew in all this time that he would ever come to a point where Teh would not be his driving force in one way or another.

Teh is running full tilt toward something and Oh feels lonely, lost and confused. Teh has such tunnel vision when he's pursuing a goal. He's learned to expand his field of vision to see Oh Aew, and to be fair he does try to keep him in view, but I think their disconnection in this time means Oh is in the periphery instead of somewhere nearer the centre.

It sort of breaks my heart how Teh leaves Oh on that stage to go finish his task. When he was looking around after they agreed to go out separately, at first I thought he was looking for a secluded spot where he could give Oh a quick hug or a kiss, some kind of a reassurance. I wanted anything to recentre the connection. But his focus is dead ahead at the next challenge.

And Oh, Oh is losing sight of Teh in the dark.

Sides:

So Nadao basically confirmed through some post-ep promo that the opening scene was their first time. If we hadn't gotten LTIP I'd feel a bit cheated, but it was clear in LTIP that the energy between them had shifted somehow, there was a comfortable and open intimacy there, so I'm good. I'm mostly glad that it seems like they clearly talked about it and decided together, they were safe even though they clearly felt awkward, and were both enthusiastic about it. Poor Ma Sui though; they clearly thought they were being slick but they must have been obvious. She probably wet every door hinge in the house to make them squeak and announce her presence so she doesn't walk in on anything.

I love how Ma Sui's acceptance of Teh also extends to accepting Oh Aew as her son as well, with the talisman, and the message. Family is important to Teh, and you see how having Ma Sui accept Oh Aew as family brings this final end to his internal struggle, and allows him to really just love Oh Aew out loud.

I feel like 'do you love me' is going to be a runner and it's going to break my heart the first time Teh can't answer that question.

[shinjaeha]

so i KEEP thinking about itsay and i just need to rant (to nobody) about how perfectly teh and oh-aew balance one another out. teh’s def the more impulsive of the two...he’s so reactive. as soon as he sees oh-aew’s done something to (unintentionally) offend him in some way, he needs to do something back. it’s the pettiness of it for me, but it’s also makes him so wonderfully interesting as a character bc everything he feels is so real?? that feeling of being jealous that your friend is spending more time with other people?? or that they’ve told a secret to everyone else when you thought it was just supposed to be something between the both of you?? it’s so damn realistic. i feel like everyone’s had those fleeting moments of jealousy and possessiveness over a friend, where you just can’t HELP it. i think most of us don’t really let it take over us, but the feeling itself is just so true to life (and something i have 100% experienced). of course, there’s a hidden element in teh’s case bc he’s got romantic feelings for oh-aew (which he hasn’t quite fully realised yet), but even on a friendship level those feelings of jealousy and possessiveness are just so incredibly normal and relatable.

so every time teh does something petty...like trying to take an ig pic just like oh-aew’s, or giving him the silent treatment for oh-aew telling the gang that he’s a virgin, or the silent treatment again/making everyone flash cards bc of bas tutoring him...while it makes me want to grab him by the arms and shake some sense into him, it’s ALSO something i can understand. i can understand being taken by those impulses and wanting to act petty bc i’m mad at someone. it’s so human. it’s so real. what i absolutely love about teh though is that even though he has these bursts of pettiness, he does try to talk to oh-aew about how he feels (he’s just also understandably very confused by all his feelings atm). it made me so happy when he told oh-aew about how he didn’t feel special after oh-aew told the gang his secret. and happier still when he went to the boat to try to talk to oh-aew (even though he wasn’t able to start the conversation) bc he at least knew there was something he needed to say to oh-aew, and it was clearly taking a lot for him to even go there and take the first step in the first place (his fault or otherwise).

and what makes oh-aew such a great counter balance to teh is that he seems to be the exact opposite of teh. he’s more cautious and careful about things. def nowhere near the same level of impulsive that teh is. you can see it in how he chooses not to pursue bas as opposed to how teh pursues tarn. tbh if teh wasn’t trying to help oh-aew and bas to succeed, he’d prob never do anything about it. he’d just let it go and move on once they graduated. it’s bc of how oh-aew is so much more level headed that he starts the conversation with teh. that he can sit down and try to understand WHY teh might be treating him the way he’s being treated. if he were as hot-headed as teh is, he might just leave yet again and end things the way they did as children. but he’s older now and he’s willing to listen, but also reprimand teh for not properly communicating how he feels bc oh-aew can’t read his mind!! how is oh-aew ever supposed to know how teh’s feeling if he’s just going to give him the silent treatment instead of tell him.

the scene on the boat where they talked to one another was so, so beautiful. i love that they have their misunderstandings, but they KNOW what happened that first time they let the misunderstanding fester...how the both of them were too stubborn to start the conversation, and because of that lost touch, and now they’re both trying what they can to make sure that they actually TALK to one another. even if they still have their moments of anger bc of all these new feelings. they know what miscommunication did to their relationship the first time and are not gonna let history repeat itself.

i also just think it’s so beautiful how you can see how their personalities are still so similar to when they were kids. the way teh’s impulsiveness/idealism is there from the start...in the way he watches that chinese show on tv and immediately proclaims that he wants to be an actor. in the way he focuses wholeheartedly on getting into his communications major with no other backups. in the way he’s constantly pursuing tarn even though she’s told him that they can only be official after their studies are done.

compare that to the more cautious/pragmatic oh-aew who doesn’t know what he wants to be until after he does the play before deciding he wants to become an actor too. who is thinking about changing some of his choices to business administration as a backup in case he doesn’t get into communications and has to takeover managing the resort from his parents. who doesn’t even want to try to win over bas when he already thinks it’s a hopeless cause. they’re like yin and yang.

anyway, those are just some of the thoughts i felt like i had to get out of me bc they were tangling up my insides and i STILL have to wait another almost week for the next ep and i can’t stop thinking about this show!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the writing and the way they’ve tied things together so far have been top notch. i esp love the way they’ve written tarn bc !!!!!!!!!!!! we know that she’s going to be the one that teh leaves for oh-aew, but female love interests in BLs are hardly ever written well (they’re either evil or have no real personality and only serve as a plot point for the male lead to get over). just the fact that tarn already has a personality outside of teh?? that she has her own ambitions and drive?? that SHE was the one that made the move to kiss him when teh drew back from almost kissing her?? god, i just hope that they don’t mess that up and she comes out of this okay.

acting has also been phenomenal. bkpp have been absolutely killing it since the first ep (including the child actors!!). every scene between the both of them makes my heart ache, even when they’re being playful bc i’m so scared for where that’s going to take us all. their chemistry is just *chef’s kiss*. THE SCENE ON THE BOAT. my god, you could cut the tension with a knife it was so intense. so suffocating. the way i held my breath during that whole scene bc of just how well crafted everything was, and how it felt like that was somehow a tipping point for the both of them, slowly inching their way into realising that their feelings for one another might not just be quite so platonic after all. basically, i just know that everything after boat scene is gonna hit different in some way.

[0reblogufufu0]

Spoilers Ahead For IPYTM EP 4!

Well, it happened.

So, they broke up. Wow, that was surprising. Yes, of course it was the right decision, but man it is not common to see in BL’s. A lot of BL relationships are rocky at times, or they take breaks that aren’t really breaks until they kiss and make up, but rarely do we see the words ‘break up’ actually used and there being a scene specifically for it. I didn’t expect them to go in so deep with it. Now, I want to say this because I’ve been thinking this for the last couple episodes, the acting isn’t great this season. No, it’s not bad, and man, does it sure carry a lot of the scenes without development, but it does fall flat a lot more often here then it did in ITSAY. There are moments when it is still and especially tired. I’m talking specifically about PP and Billkin here, since their performances are the focal point of the series. I don’t hate it, but it does make some scenes uncomfortable, and I’ve noticed during certain emotional scenes they sort of just make the same expressions over and over with it feeling really fake at some points (like when Oh-aew cries to his friends at the end of the episode). I’m by no means bashing any one, really, I just wish they gave this all more time. It’s obvious they were tried and so much had to go into getting into the headspace for this show, it’s clear it took a toll on them. I wish they had more time to rest, things must’ve been non stop for them since ITSAY with not only IPYTM to film but also interviews, brand deals, the documentary, photoshoots, etc. Hope they rest well soon. Now, for the episode.  Well, just as I said last time, not sure how I feel about Jai. He obvious feels guilty when he hears Teh talk about how he feels for Jai in the aftermath of talking with Oh-aew, but it doesn’t redeem him all the way because he still intentionally made Teh think they had a spark of something together not just with the kiss but everything else, like talking about his ex or taking him down to that view, period, and well, it’s not a very good thing to do, manipulating someone’s feelings so they’d act how you want them to in your play. Anyway, Jai is complicated, but seems to be mostly a background character in the story again with the end of the episode.  Judging from the gifs I’d seen, I really expected more of angry break up scene, but it was very hushed and vulnerable, even when Oh-aew was telling Teh to leave him alone and how he didn’t want to see him anymore. I like the choice not to include music till a certain point, it definitely helps because this is one of the most crucial as well as one of the better acted scenes of the series. I think PP and Billkin thrive best in scenes like this where there is a lot beneath the surface they try to hide or hold back, allows them to now go full in ugly crying but also strays from just sitting normally. I like the responsibility given to Teh and his actions here. We know he knows he messed up, but also that things are more complicated than just admititng that or just giving up what he felt for Jai. What he did was undoubtedly wrong, but nothing is ever just that simple, so there is a struggle on both ends. We see a lot of call backs this episode to things from the first episode clothing wise, etc. It stands to prove how big a part of each others lives they were and still are. The bed reminds them of night together, when they think about school work they think if the other is doing well, break ups aren’t easy, we all know that. Thought it was a bit of a weird place to put Teh’s roommate as an actual character, but, whatever, I like him. Towards the end of the episode we get  another look into an independence storyline, this time not just with Oh-aew, but also with Teh, them both trying to build a foundation without one another. Teh in acting without Oh-aew’s support and Oh-aew in agreeing with his friends to forget Teh. They’re both trying to find a life without one another after not having thought about it in years, but in the end, I think it’s better for them to be apart. I am worried seeing the preview though, cause it looks an awful lot like we may see them together again or reconsiling in some way, by the set up to have Oh-aew be helping Teh in work, presumably before a performance of some sort, which always leads to a heart to heart with pressed time where they may or may not have to choose between one thing or another. No matter what, an hour isn’t enough to cover anything new developing between them, but there would be no purpose filling an episode with just their solo lives, not really. So, hoping we get a Oh-aew centered episode after these last two (though this one was sort of split), and not having too high of hopes because no matter what, one episode just isn’t enough. I know there will be some beautiful shots though, so I’ll enjoy the gifsets.  And, for those wondering, it is past 7 AM now and I am tired, so if this is lazy, sorry I’ll organize better for the last one since there isn’t anything to wait for after that one.

[purple-out-of-red-and-blue]

back here after ep 2 to officially declare my new favourite trope is boys flirting under the guise of learning chinese

love the chinese embedded in this show, reminds me of itsay