#everything else is pretty much exactly how it appears in the film

[ennaih]

Every Film I Watch In 2023:

244. The Beach House (2019)

[withmyloveasyourgarden]

NINE YEARS LATE

EDDIE MUNSON x F!READER

A yearly Halloween tradition, zombie films and best friends who touch too much for it to not mean anything. 4K of fluff. [Re-uploaded from my old blog]

When you met Eddie Munson at eleven years old, he pointed at your exorcist t-shirt and asked what your favourite horror movie was.

To anyone else it might have been strange, the way the boy's eyes were so bright, his expression caught between nervous and excited like nothing else at that time was more important than the answer you were about to give.

But you gave it with a shy grin and without hesitation, watching a little stunned as the boy brightened and his lips stretched wide into a beaming smile that, even then, left your heart warm and you completely powerless to resist the hand that circled your wrist and yanked you down onto the grass beside him.

He took a cookie from his lunchbox and pressed it into your hand, skin smudged with chocolate and pride in his voice when he told you how he had sneakily watched Night of the Living Dead when his uncle wasn't home and that was now his favourite.

You wrinkled your nose a little as you ate, unable to help the reaction because you didn't understand the zombie appeal, cheeks flushing when Eddie caught it too and threw both hands to his chest, his back hitting the ground with a thud as he flung himself down, like you'd personally betrayed everything he held dear.

"Don't tell me you don't like zombies!" He'd gasped in horror, struggling not to grin when he lifted himself up on his elbows and noticed, far too pleased, that despite the way you had hid your face in your hands, there was a telltale smile in your voice at his theatrics.

"I don't not like them exactly." You countered, eyes appearing above your fingers to watch the way the boy snorted and quirked a disbelieving brow in your direction before you allowed your hands to fall away, huffing. "I mean it! It's not that I hate them or anything, they just give me creeps."

He nodded at your shirt. "And demonic possession doesn't?"

"No?"

'Weirdo." He mumbled, voice soft, and then almost immediately winced, his eyes darting worriedly to yours because what if you didn't catch the way his tone turned fond as he said it? He didn't want you to think he was being mean like so many other kids were in Hawkins when someone wasn't like them.

But then you laughed, the sound clear and sweet, and there was relief in Eddie's chest mixed with a little awe, something innocently adoring because even though he would never admit it, he was pretty sure that was his new favourite sound in the whole world.

'Says the boy who thinks a zombie movie is the best horror." You teased, tongue poking out at him when he shook his head and aimed a playful little kick to your leg, scuffed trainers nudging at your thigh.

There was a moment of easy silence that followed, a few beats where the two of you shared soft, toothy grins before the boy ducked his head and you tipped yours back to gaze at the cloudy autumn sky, fingers twisting in the grass whilst joy swirled in your chests at this new found friendship.

It was impossible to miss the exact second he had the idea, the way he scrambled to sit upright, all long arms and gangly legs because even back then Eddie had been tall for his age. The grin that stretched his cheeks was wild, excitement crackling from him as he scooted closer until he was sat directly in front of you, knees brushing against yours.

"There's only one way to settle this." He blurted suddenly, pleased when your startled gaze turned instantly curious, body leaning forward to signal he had your full attention. "We have a movie marathon. You can come to mine and we can watch both of our favourites and maybe a few more and then we rank them."

You nodded slow, thoughtful , the sharp trill of the bell signalling the end of recess making you jump and Eddie groan. "Okay. That sounds fun. But what if we can't agree on what ranks first?"

Eddie rose ungracefully to his feet and you had to shield your eyes from the low burning sun when you looked up at him, light dousing him in gold that made his eyes look like pools of warm caramel when he grinned down at you and offered you his hand.

"Then we keep having marathons until we do."

**

Nine years later and you Eddie still hadn't agreed.

You were beginning to think you never would. Or maybe even if by some miracle you did, you still wouldn't tell the boy that had become your best friend the moment he'd asked you that question in the playground.

Because it had become your tradition now. These marathons that you had every October 1st without fail because that was the same date that you showed up at Eddie's door for the very first time, a box of cookies in your hand that your mom had sent you over with and a beaming smile that had matched his when he'd flung the door wide open and pulled you inside.

You weren't sure when it became your favourite day of the year or when Eddie became your favourite person but it did and so did he. Never happier than when you were surrounded by warm blankets with a hot chocolate cradled in your hands.

There was always plates piled with freshly baked goods on your laps, movies playing that you sometimes wouldn't remember the names of after and your face pressed to the boy's collarbone when things occasionally got too scary. His arm looped around your shoulder so he could murmur, soft and sweet, against your hair. "It's okay, it's nearly over."

You also weren't too sure when your feelings for your best friend began to change, only that they most definitely had.

He was still the same Eddie, your Eddie. He was big, warm eyes and startlingly pretty grins, an energy that made you think of bottled lightning, the kind you couldn’t tear your eyes away from, beautiful and utterly unruly.

He was all-encompassing hugs, tangled limbs in a too small bed when one of you stayed the night because even if you were to lay at the other end, the boy would somehow still find his way to you in his sleep, strong arms pulling you tight to his chest and a happy sigh on his lips.

But somewhere through the years, through the horrors that started on the screen where they should have stayed but then seemed to leech into your real lives, the familiar touches came more frequently and hands lingered long enough that it caused pulses to spike. Hugs got a little longer too, a little tighter.

There was a reluctance to let go when mornings came around, no longer shy or embarrassed when streams of pinkish gold filtered through the window and stirred you awake only to find the two of you were once again moulded around each other, fingers linked between your bodies.

Instead it felt right, like that was how you belonged. A Feeling that only grew with each year that passed.

Each October 1st that you refused any other plans because this was yours and Eddie's day. Every time you turned up to the other's homes, sitting a little too close on the couch than was considered friendly, eyes drifting to watch each other instead of whichever person was fighting for their lives on the tv when you thought you wouldn't get caught.

It grew, blooming wild and stubborn in your chest, snaking around each rib, until you were forced to admit to yourself that you were in love with him.

And that scared you more than any horror movie ever could.

**

"Sweetheart, you're supposed to be watching this, not hiding through the whole thing."

The admonishment in Eddie's voice was weak - too soft to be truly serious and even if you couldn't tell by the boy's tone, the way he grinned at you when you finally lowered your mug, with what he thought was the most adorable pout on your face, immediately gave him away.

It made you poke your toes into his jean clad thigh in retaliation, a choking gasp of faux betrayal bubbling past your lips when he caught at your ankle and tickled your foot with quick fingers before you could yank it back under the safety of the blanket he'd thrown over you earlier.

You were a lot less mad than you would have been had it been anyone else and christ if Eddie didn't know it, his eyes bright even in the low flickering light of the room and the pillow of his lower lip caught between his teeth to choke down a laugh as he threateningly wriggled his fingers at you once again.

Glaring at the boy across from you, there was a half hearted grumble to your voice when you aimed a nod towards the person being ripped apart by the undead horde on the screen and told him. "You know this wouldn't be a problem if you didn't bring a zombie movie nearly every year."

The noise he made in response told you that wasn't going to happen. But as he leant forward, stretching over to the coffee table to grab a cookie that he then practically inhaled, you could feel his eyes on you. The way he was silently checking if you actually thought the movie was too much or if you were just playing up because you liked to mess with him.

"You want me to turn it off? We could put the next movie on?" He asked in the way he always did, a little teasing but still sweet, touched with hope because you both knew what he would ask next when you shook your head, determined like you always were to sit through the movie just because Eddie loved it.

And you tried to not let it show on your face the way your heart fluttered and swooped in the cage your ribs when he opened his arms the moment you gave your answer, looking far more enticing than you thought a best friend ever should.

All wrapped in a large sweater with sleeves that drooped over his ringed fingers, cosy blankets tossed over his lap and curls still messy from the weather outside.

It really was unfair just how fucking pretty Eddie was.

"Wanna come here?" He murmured in a way that made your cheeks warm, your pulse jumping from fear that he'd caught the way you were staring and his lips tugging up into a soft grin when he added. "Promise I'll keep you safe from zombies."

You narrowed your eyes like it was an offer that you needed to consider - something that took a ridiculous effort considering how badly you suddenly ached to fall into the boy.

In return he rolled his own at the suspicious gaze that you flicked over him - from his fondly exasperated expression to the hands that made impatient little grabbing motions whilst you fought back a smile and warned. "Only if you don't tickle me again."

There was a soft snort when he laughed, grin turning impish as he took matters into his own hands and reached over to pluck your mug from your fingers, placing it on the table before catching you in a gentle grip. "I swear on Dustin's mother I won't tickle you again. Now c'mere."

And so you went - with a shake of your head to hide your smile, you let yourself be pulled into him.

Desperately trying to ignore the way your skin buzzed beneath his touch as he lifted the blanket and folded you tight into his side, waiting for you to throw your arm around his waist and swing your legs over his lap until there was no part of you left that wasn't pressed up against him.

He looked like he was trying and failing to hide how pleased he was as he drew the blanket over the two of you and you all but melted in his arms. Corners of his lips quirking and a soft dusting of pink creeping over his cheeks when his hand automatically began stroking over your hair and you let slip a quiet little sound that was half sigh, half moan - his body still burning despite the innocence of it.

For a little while after that an easy silence fell over you both, a sense of contentment that couldn't be broken by the sounds of gore that came from the screen.

Eddie smelt like Autumn with every slow inhale you took, like cold, night air and smoke, spice from the cologne you bought him two birthdays ago and the cinnamon off the pastries you'd baked especially for that night that he'd almost completely devoured within half an hour of sitting down.

He was warm in a way that felt like safety when he wrapped you up in him like this and it was all too easy to forget how much the movie had previously made your stomach turn slightly. Now barely even batting an eye when somebody screamed because you were too happy being lulled by the rise and fall of Eddie's chest beneath your cheek and the weight of his head rested atop of your own.

You watched the screen with an almost foggy type of interest. A little dazed by the hand that had previously been playing with your hair now slipping down, fingers dancing over the nape of your neck and down your spine to where it eventually stopped. Palm moulded flat to the dip in your back - the heat of it searing through your shirt.

His other hand was curved around your knee - thumb stroking soft circles on the inside that made a tremor sweep over your skin.

It took you far too long to realise when he eventually spoke, oblivious to his smile, the question he pressed to your hair at your shiver, until your trance was broken by the rumble of a soft laugh when a beat too long passed without any response.

Gentle fingers that had previously been resting on your knee were now hooking beneath your chin, tilting your gaze to meet his as he dipped his head to look at you in a way that made your mouth run dry.

"Still with me there sweetheart?" He asked. Voice low, hushed, a little rougher and less teasing than you think he had intended it to be.

And suddenly the room felt a little warmer than before, an electricity present that crackled in the limited space between your bodies.

You swallowed hard, stomach twisting, the sounds of horror in the background fading to a mere hum as you nodded. Your breath hitched when your nose brushed his but you made no move to pull back and if the boy heard it, he didn't say anything. "M'here." You whispered. "What- what did you say?"

In the near-dark you watched him bite back a strained smile, curls bouncing as he shook his head ever so slightly, not at you, but at the way he suddenly felt tongue tied. Frozen with his fingers still cupping your chin and his mind alarmingly blank because you were just so close and fuck, what was it that he'd said again?

"I uh," He stumbled, words a little awkward as he attempted to subtly clear his throat." I was just wondering how you can't watch a zombie movie without hiding behind me, which to be clear, I am not complaining about , but when we got attacked by demon bats you were totally fucking fearless."

You felt flushed at how awestruck he sounded, gaze lowering and your hand coming to clasp his wrist, touch gentle on the scars that only recently healed there. "I was hardly fearless Eds." You muttered.

But the boy was already tutting, an argument ready on his tongue before you could finish your dismissal.

"Babe, I watched you decapitate one of those things with an oar like it was nothing." He grinned, feeling a little more daring as he grazed his thumb just below your lip, eyes dark on you as your lashes fluttered and you swayed further into the touch. "It was the most metal thing I've ever seen, maybe the hottest too."

He added the last part like a whisper and maybe it was the way you felt too fuzzy, not quite connected to your brain - a little too lovesick and touch-drunk from the way Eddie was surrounding you. The words that set your blood alight.

Or maybe it was just that the credits were rolling on a movie the two of you had barely watched because you'd been too focused on each other, the room falling into the type of darkness that made you a little less afraid of giving away your feelings for the boy.

But you found yourself telling him, unflinchingly honest and without a second thought. "I was only like that because they tried to hurt you, I was beyond terrified until then."

"Is that so?" Eddie mused. He was beaming like you'd just said the best thing he'd ever heard, like having proof of you being murderous at the idea of him being hurt was enough to light the boy up from the inside and make his features glow with a new softness.

You only hummed in response, heart suddenly in your throat, pulse fluttering wildly and you briefly wondered if Eddie could feel it when his hand slipped along your jaw. Thumb teasing along the edge and fingers warm on your neck.

"So if we ever got attacked by an undead horde instead of bats and cat-eating lizards?"

You laughed, shrugging. "Then I guess I'm beheading some zombies."

It was meant to be a light comment but it made the air around you grow heavy, like you couldn't move away even if your life depended on it, when he pressed his forehead to yours with a little theatrical groan.

The way his eyes bore into yours under the dark fringe of his lashes making you breath catch, lungs tight when he teased. "Careful babe, with that kind of talk I might think you're trying to make me fall in love with you."

You don't know what possessed you, the words spilt passed your lips before you could catch them.

"What if I was?"

You felt more than heard the sharp inhale of his breath, the way he froze beneath you, slack-jawed, eyes wide and searching like he was nervous of the possibility you'd suddenly laugh and tell him you were only joking.

But then he seemed to find something in the shyness of your own gaze that made his turn bold, his hand on your back pressing you that little bit firmer against him as he shifted to turn into you fully.

The smile tugging at his lips was one you'd never seen before, the type he only ever gave when he was sure you weren't looking because there was no doubt in his mind that every ounce of love he had for you was written all over his face.

And Eddie swallowed hard before he spoke, his voice shot, affection flooding through the cracks, whilst he bumped his nose to yours. "Then I'd say you're about nine years too late."

Oh.

Wait-

You made a choked sound of surprise as you jerked back to look at him, stunned, fingers curling tight into his jumper and the warm skin of his wrist so you could steady yourself.

"Nine years?" You repeated, feeling dumbstruck whilst Eddie laughed.

But then he was cupping your cheeks with both hands, drawing you back to him with a grin that was all dimples and soft honey eyes and it felt like your heart would burst in your chest when the moment he was confident he had your full attention, he told you. "Sweetheart, I was a goner from the moment you showed up on my doorstep."

"Oh."

It felt like you'd been utterly floored.

It hit you that through all the years that you'd been in love with your best friend you had never truly considered a reality where he felt the same, and now you had no clue how to react.

However you were suddenly, painfully aware of all the times where you'd ached to touch him in a way that you'd then had to remind yourself wasn't allowed, all the time you could have spent learning what his lips felt like on yours, how he tasted. How long you could have called him yours if you both hadn't been so scared.

It felt like a crime to let it go on any longer.

"Eddie?" You whispered, nerves like a champagne fizz in your belly that then spread all the way to your fingers and toes as your eyes fluttered closed at his breath on your lips.

You could smell cinnamon and smoke, a hint of mint underneath, and god, you'd never craved something so bad as you did him.

"Yeah, sweetheart?"

He sounded no better than you - voice hoarse - a little wrecked. Thumbs digging into the hinges of your jaw like he was desperate to keep you anchored to him as he waited with baited breath for you to ask.

"Can I kiss you?"

His mouth was on yours before you could finish.

Soft and sweet at first despite the energy you could practically feel thrumming beneath his skin. You swallowed the groan that almost immediately slipped from his throat, both hands coming up to clutch at his wrists as he tugged you closer, tilting your jaw so he could deepen the kiss - lips sliding over yours again and again as you clung to him.

When you parted, it was only for a handful of seconds. A beat to catch your breath, to stare at each other like you couldn't believe this was finally happening. But then you caught sight of Eddie, eyes burning dark and hooded, lips swollen with your kisses, and it already felt like far too long.

Clearly Eddie felt the same.

The kiss became demanding when you crashed back together, greedy lips and greedy hands, his tongue tracing the seam of your lips before hungrily licking into your mouth. And then you were being pulled onto his lap, soft thighs falling open for him to fit beneath you and the prettiest moan you'd ever heard coming from the boy as your hips settled flush over his.

You gasped against him, a desperate noise that sent heat rushing to your cheeks, when his hand slipped under your shirt to grip your waist. Dizzy at the contrast of cold rings and warm fingers that were gently neading your skin, making you melt further into him than you thought possible.

It made him grip you that little bit harder, squeeze a little tighter to see if you'd make the same sweet sound for him again and Eddie felt like he'd go wild when you did. Like he could lose himself right there and then, with your fingers buried in his curls and your mouth hot on his, because you were all he could think about, see, hear and smell.

He was drowning in you and if you asked anything of him in this moment you can be damn sure that he'd do it in a fucking heartbeat if it meant you'd continue looking at him the way you were when your lips finally parted and you swayed back.

You were all soft smiles and slightly glassy eyed - a bit drunk on the way your best friend had kissed you like he would die if he didn't - and he couldn't resist stealing another, a second and then a third. Quick and a little clumsy because Eddie was smiling too.

There was so much warmth in your chest it felt like you could burst with it. All the emotions and feelings for the boy that you'd buried for so long now free to bloom wild and unhindered in the spaces between your ribs.

You couldn't help the bubble of laughter that poured past your lips, grinning so hard it hurt as he pressed his forehead to yours, thumbs stroking circles over your sides whilst he tried to pull you even closer.

'Strange." You mumbled, soft and a little drawn out like you were just waiting for him to ask.

He didn't let you wait long, nose brushing yours, heart-achingly indulgent.

"What is?"

"I think I've changed my mind about zombie movies, maybe they're not so bad after all."

[scrubbinn]

Mimic HRT: 16 months “Body dysmorphia”

“The mimic octopus, Thaumoctopus mimicus, the thing that has, in some way, become a part of me. At least it’s the thing mixed into my slime medication. It’s been about a week since I turned into a cocoon. Which, even the doc still doesn’t know why exactly that part happened. And while I'm glad it's over, I’m worried there's something else in this treatment that no one knows about. Last time I checked, cocoons have nothing to do with slimes or octopi… octopus? Oh this is going to bug me all day.”

“It's funny I don't consider that cocoon to be the strangest part. It’s that I’m oddly calm about the whole thing. It’s not like the calm before I started taking normal hormone replacements, that was like a film over me that left me unable to express emotions. Now, I just feel calm. Complete. Myself. I suppose I can no longer consider myself a slime, though I am still similar. I've been told that thanks to me, Mimic HRT is now being perfected and stocked for others as a type of shapeshifter medication. I really didn't expect to become a patient zero for something like this. I can’t complain too much, this body really is everything I could have wanted. I should probably explain. It’d be a good idea to go over all the new parts of me.”

“Alright, from the top… actually I don’t know if that works, I’m not exactly humanoid, not always at least. Oh, I guess we can start with that actually. Shapeshifting has become nearly second nature. The brain isn’t human anymore, so it’s not really that surprising that it’s become so easy to take different shapes. Everytime I enter a new room, the first thing I think to do is copy the appearance of the wall or some furniture, it’s just this predator ambusher mentality that feels so correct to morph into something else. Mimicking people or objects in motion is incredibly tiring, but inanimate objects are so much easier. It’s probably because Mimics don’t spend much time moving so it exerts way more energy. Like, you know how most video games you see mimics as treasure chests right? Well I’m sure there’s an answer about game design, but no, seriously, it’s because you get to just be a simple square shaped object without worrying about how many fingers or teeth you’re supposed to have or worry about how to move convincingly. I already know I’m convincing, I am a box! Look, sometimes you just gotta turn into a ball and do nothing for half the day and it just feels nice. It’s those times where I’m too exhausted to do anything so I spend the entire time pretending to be a couch. There are also times where I can’t help but move. When I know I’m safe in my bed, for example, I let all my extra limbs move on their own to find crevices between the mattress and pillows, it’s like I’m trying to find a hole to slide into for safety. Sometimes I also shift color and texture on my own without realizing, which has led to some awkward moments where I’ve jumpscared Abi about… pretty much every time she picks me up for a date."

“I did say mimicking living things was difficult but that doesn’t mean I'm constantly just a pile of goo and eyes on the floor. I have a humanoid form that I can enter with ease. It's a bit more cloudy than the normal sky blue of my previous form though. My hair has changed a lot too. It's still the same material and texture, but it's become flattened to something more ribbon-like. It's much longer too, reaching out to my back. I can move it now though. I can stretch them, widen, flatten, turn them into tubes, they can curl and soap up, and with just a little water, I basically look like I did before, just, with a bunch more, teeth and eyes.… Ok so yes, I might be missing a face where the typical one is and I just shift colors and textures to pretend I still have one. And maybe a few of these limbs are just weirdly shaped mouths, with teeth that snap at anything that gets too close. And perhaps I have dozens of eyeballs all over my body- Ok, ok, this is a lot actually, let’s go over this one at a time. Teeth first I guess. I've been finding them in various shapes and lengths all across the body, and they move around too, I think in total I've found seven. There might be an eighth, it's hard to really count, especially when they move and bite automatically. At least they know well enough not to try and eat anyone I like. Hear that Dr. Erian? Better be careful! Ha! Anyway, eyes have been easier to deal with. There's dozens that swim around my hair and body, they usually stay closed until a vibration hits one and then they all suddenly open up. 360 degree vision isn't something that's easy to describe. It feels… spherical? That's the best explanation I have. At least they blend in with the body so I don't have to worry about people constantly being terrified of me. As long as I can hide the teeth under clothing, and keep most of my eyes closed, I look like a normal slime. Hm, normal. Kinda lost normal from my vocabulary somewhere along the way. Normal doesn’t involve a month long metamorphosis”

“About the cocoon… I… no, we don't need to talk about it. We can talk about something else…”

“Oh! The brain, it's… unique, it's doing fine though. No more headaches for the most part. Abigail and I have been studying this thing a lot. It's kinda hard to call it a brain. It siphons out nutrients melted down in the goo and sends it throughout this body with what I call its root system. They're kinda like nerves, but I'm naming them roots, because it just sounds better and also cause it looks like there’s a giant potato growing in my head. Besides, I don’t think they help move the body like nerves, the roots pull and push through the body, rearranging themselves to where I need some nutrition or where there’s an injury. I know other slimes have a core that they can move around and even remove for a bit. Never heard of one moving on its own, and I'm pretty sure if this was removed, I'd die on the spot. It's so weird to think this thing is a brain and a stomach. It's definitely a brain. If the core is hanging out near my leg, that's where I feel the headaches. Oh right, it moves more than just the roots around. I don't think I can control it? Control it… ha, yeah like a human can control their own brain, why should I be so different…”

“Uh… so, the thing is… I uh, I have something to say, about… how I don't have anything to say right now. But I will later, when it's important! Because it isn't important right now. Let's talk about something actually important, like, like… Actually yeah. I do need to talk about something. Because I don’t know how to bring it up to Abi, or you Erian when we last met.”

“I'm, not acting right. I mean, I am acting right, for a mimic. But I don't know, I thought I'd be acting like a cute slime that was curious and ditzy and cute and someone who… people still liked. Abi hasn't said it, but I know she doesn't like the new me. It's understandable, I'm a lot less cute and a lot more, eldritch. That’s not fair to her, we still love each other, it’s just this change is, a bit much. I already mentioned hiding with camouflage and biting things automatically. But there's the fact I'm still missing my memories, and I think at this point it's clear I'm never getting them back. Not to mention making human memories isn't possible anymore. Everytime I think back on things. I don't look at memories like how I used to. I used to look back on them with emotions and feelings. But now, I can only view memories as things that tell me if something is dangerous or food. When it's neither, when it's family or friends, I feel nothing. My brain is animalistic, it's a solitary predator for a social life. Is it even possible for me to adapt to that? Maybe… maybe I should stop taking the medication. Stop here when I still can. Is that wrong of me? Am I less of an otherkin for wanting to cling to the remainder of this humanity? I don't know. I don’t know anything!”

“…I do know something. I know how I cocooned myself- Shit! I didn't mean- it’s ok, I'll just start a new record- I… no I need to talk about what happened at some point. It’s hard but I need to get it out of my head somehow. I just need some time before I can talk about it.”

“I need to talk about something happy. It's probably not coming across well but I am happy. I am truly, genuinely happy. Being a mimic hasn't stopped my soapy journey. I'm still a soap slime at heart and my slipperiness has only gotten more hilariously troublesome. Now that every part of this body is made of materials crafted to slip around, it's been fun to learn new ways to not bang my head on every wall. I'm actually being serious, it's kind of fun to slide everywhere, I feel like a kid again. Not to mention that sometimes Abi will just stick random aromatics in my hair and the whole room starts to smell like orange peel and pine. I know slimes are a more fantastical species but sometimes I do wonder how a soap slime would evolve in the wild. What would I do? Is the scent thing to lure in prey? To socialize with others of their kind? Maybe if I did fully become a slime, I'd get a nature documentary made about me. Being a slime is cool but mimics aren't bad either, there are some upsides to it. With all this control of my body, I finally feel like myself, when I need a different body type for my human form I don't need to think about it, it just happens, if I feel like being purple that day it just happens, different hair, different voice, different anything. I finally don't have to be forced into one thing. It feels like… it just feels, I feel everything better, from how sweet Abi's voice is, to the wind blowing through Hyper city, to the vibrations of the soft sounds of the night life. I am happy. I am really truly honestly happy.”

“ok, I'm ready to talk about it. About the cocoon. I can do this. I. Can. Do. This. It was just a day before it happened, that's when the pain started. I don't mean the pain of my brain being rewritten, or the pain of my skin dissolving. Those were bad, but what I experienced. It was indescribable. This started in the middle of the night. I couldn't sleep for the past two days from an aching body except for the brief moments of unconsciousness. Then all of a sudden, I felt a searing pain in my chest. I was delirious from exhaustion and the sudden jolt of fear wasn’t helping. I somehow got the idea that something foreign was growing inside my slime body, like a mold, and just like a mold, it spread. I could feel the misery move throughout my body into my limbs and neck. I think what I was feeling was the exposed nerves of my new teeth forming surrounded by solidified lye, but no, what I felt had no explanation. Nothing could ever fully rationalize what I felt that night. The torrent of agony eventually crawled into my head, I thought it was a nightmare. I did, things, in my panic, that I don't want to remember for this recording, and I don’t want anyone to learn about. Turns out mimics can get scars, that’s all I’m going to say. It felt like I was about to recede into nothingness, or disintegrate completely, either one would have been preferred over what actually happened. It just continued. It felt like different layers of pain where eventually I'd start to dissociate only for some new sudden jolt of pain to bring me back. Like every single one of my cells was popping one after the other. I couldn't even scream, I forgot I had no lungs and didn't remember how slimes even talked, I just laid there, unable to move, hoping somehow a doctor or witch would arrive to stop the pain. Eventually thinking became too hard. Every single micrometer of my insides and outsides were screaming, and I couldn't pass out. You could simply say it hurt and call it a day, and you would be wrong. Getting a scrap when you fall on the sidewalk hurts. This was hell. That's when it happened. I still don’t understand it. I mean it was probably the pain and exhaustion causing hallucinations and… I heard a voice. In my head I mean. It was so clear despite everything and I was struggling so hard to listen, but the voice was gentle. It taught me what to do to ease the pain. I followed its words. The next thing I remember was waking up next to Abi and my mother rushing in with a doctor. I think you were informed about the rest. Looking forward to the call I get from you about this one. End recording.”

* * *

“Good morning Ms.Mulberry, pleasant to see you in higher spirits than our last meeting.”

“Hello Theo. Let's make this meeting quick, Abi and I are going out in half an hour.”

“Blunt as ever. Fine then, I wish we could have had this talk sooner, but I believe we need to discuss the crossroads you've entered. I'm sure you've already heard about it and if you wish to skip right over I understa-”

“Tell me. Please.”

“Beg pardon? Well… ahem. There's a point in every transition that we refer to as a crossroads. What can best be described as a choice, we can put you on a much lighter dosage of your medication until your body is producing the correct chemicals to remain stable on its own. This would be the end of your transition. On the other hand, with your written consent, we would continue with your treatment's normal dosage until you fully become a mimic. This would most likely entail complete identity loss, and losing any part of you that could be called human. Depending on your sentience and level of aggression, you would be given over to the proper authorities to make sure the rest of your life is handled properly as per the agreement on the paperwork you signed.”

“...I.”

“You’ll have to make this choice soon, from your latest recording you may have already gone past your crossroad, but you still can turn back from here. I promise. If you wish, there are other things we can discuss. You mentioned a voice that appeared inside your head. Have you heard it since?”

“No, I haven’t. Sorry I’m not feeling great, could I go soon?”

“You’ve undergone a great deal of stress Ms.Mulberry. You look like you’ve barely slept in days, despite your claims to the contrary, you don’t appear to be very happy. You should probably seek a listening ear. I can get you in contact with a therapist who specializes in therian traumas.”

“Dr. Erian?”

“Yes Ms.Mulberry?”

“Am I a coward for wanting to turn back? Am I not actually otherkin? Am I just a leech for people who need this treatment more than me? I should want to continue right? Why do I suddenly care about the little of me that’s human? I don’t even remember when I was human! Why should I care? Why do I care? What am I?”

“You're brave Mayday. You're very brave.”

“I’d like to move to a lighter dosage.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mention list: @a-shramp, @calliecwrites, @be702, @respectfulevil, @hyacinthdoll1315

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@aster-is-confused, @bloodandbrandywyne, @glitchgloop

[marciabrady]

What is Cinderella's hair color?

This is totally up to interpretation! Ilene Woods was pretty much the basis of everything when they were creating Cinderella, from her temperament to her facial structure to her coloring to her sayings to her eye placement when she smiled, and even Ilene's hair color is hard to read. She was definitely objectively blonde- she was referred to as such on radio shows and even in the press announcement that was released when she was cast as Cinderella. But in a lot of photographs, her hair appears brunette on camera- and there's a few reasons for this. First and foremost, the relatively primitive nature of cameras from that time period really couldn't capture nuances in natural tones- so unless your hair was platinum white or bleached, it would probably read brunette, and everything else would register as darker, inevitably. Plus, we're used to seeing people with bleached/colored hair these days, so what is truly considered a natural blonde- albeit dirty or a darker or just a more "natural" toned blonde- many contemporary people refer to, on a superficial lens- as brunette. So, I think Ilene was a dirty blonde, even though I've seen pictures of her later in life where she looks like a neutral blonde that is neither very light or very dark.

When it comes to Cinderella's intended/official hair color, that's also a can of worms. So, people are quick to discredit the platinum blonde Cinderella has appeared with in the 80s/90s/2000s/2010s merch and say she's a 'strawberry' blonde. They claim this is because of how she looks in the 'original' movie, but they're using the 2013 blu ray/2005 dvd master to go off of, which is even influencing current artwork of Cinderella in the Disney Princess franchise, and that master- beyond scrubbing all the linework out of the film (see screenshot below- look at how even the 1988 VHS maintains the lines in the bedding better than the 2005 and 2013 rubbery effect) also had inaccurate representations of the color relationships between elements in the film, which- again- means that you're not going to see what was intended.

The team that worked on remastering the current 4K edition of Cinderella that came out this year (which I love btw! I'm still not super pleased with certain changes BUT it's a MASSIVE, MASSIVE improvement over the 2005/2012 master that had been done in 2003 and is far more pleasing to look at and, generally, my favorite restoration Disney has officially done) said that they referenced the original cel artwork, as well as promotional materials like lobby cards to better understand what the artistic intent was...and that's tricky. Because, while they interpreted it better than remasters of the 2000s/2010s which sought to LITERALLY make the film look exactly like the raw cel art, these movies were not meant to be viewed as, I do think they still stuck too close to the cel colors. Due to the nature of technicolor, a lot of color tests had to be done so that the artists could see what the finished product would look like after it had gone through the process of being printed on film- because it was always apt to differ greatly from the artwork on cel. A good example of this is the fact that blonde hair didn't read so the artists had to color it with a green tint on the original cels (see first screenshot below) so that it'd appear blonde on camera. However, again, I think the team looked too deeply into this and now we've ended up with a master, a gorgeous one, but a faulty one that depicts Cinderella's hair as almost green in 2023 (see right screencap from 4K remaster)

When it comes to lobby cards, they're not going to be accurate either. I've seen lobby cards that were released in 1959 that depict Aurora as a brunette, blonde, and redhead, and they even change the color of her peasant dress to green, blue, pink- anything you can think of. And Cinderella's hair differs greatly in the lobby cards from the 50s themselves

The funny thing is, it really seems to be decade dependent. I actually have access to a 1973 print and I think that's what the basis for the 2005/2013 master was, because the colors are very similar to that strawberry blonde and even the hues of the hallway in the chateau look nearly identical to the 2005/2013, and we never seen those colors again outside of those two masters. It's so odd it premiered in the 70s, that specific master, because in that decade, and in the 60s, they marketed Cinderella more as a brunette and gave Aurora the blonde title (which was reversed in the 2000s, where they almost made Aurora a light brunette and made Cinderella platinum beyond belief):

You can even see Disney's confusion at what her hair is supposed to be; in the sequel, they gave Cinderella the platinum hair of the marketing at the time, but in the third movie, they tried to be more 'faithful' and cinematic and went off of the current, faulty, master of the time...which resulted in an unappealing turnout, imo? Like her skin and hair shouldn't be that close, color relationship wise, on film? (again, merch is always a different color)

Also in House of Mouse, which is generally accurate with a lot, they make Pete put a red wig on when he's in Cinderella garb, indicating they thought that was the color of her hair at that point:

Also, I feel like she's not supposed to be a true redhead or lean as close to strawberry blonde or people say she is? Again, cels shouldn't be viewed strictly for the color themselves, but if we observe the color relationship between her hair and that of Anastasia's- who is a true redhead- there's a huge difference:

There are also a few production notes that we do have that can help a little. We know Cinderella's Prince was made to have much darker hair to contrast hers, so they could be visually striking with one another, again leading us to the conclusion that she does have light hair (which kinda dodges the 60s/70s artwork where she's a dusty brunette). We also know that Disney tried to make the Prince in Snow White sandyhaired, but it came across on camera as dark brown and didn't provide that much of a contrast to Snow White, which they were able to capture more successfully in books of that era, all through even the 80s/90s. I, personally, really love this book especially and I find the colors of everything- the interiors, Cinderella, her dress, etc- ring true to me, personally:

And this color can be seen anywhere as brunette to some, to sandy, to blonde, to dirty blonde, to slightly red- and that's how I think Cinderella's hair is. I think she's a warm level 7, if we're going by a professional hair chart, and it's like a russet blonde color? Hints of red that could make someone see her as a redhead, or just a blonde, or to some who view blondes as solely being platinum, she'd almost even appear as a brunette. That being said, Aurora is definitely a blonde and in the current master we have, her skin appears pink/red and her hair looks greenish, so if anyone who's working on the future 4K master of Sleeping Beauty could fix that, it would be greatly appreciated!!

[tiger-moran]

Hello... not sure if you ever done this before, but do you have a list/recommendation of any medias (books, films, series, etc) that depicts both moriarty and moran well? I love them but it's hard to find anything good besides og books, a game of shadows, and some fics that I've read

Hello anon. This may be a rather short list I'm afraid. I have over the years covered a lot of what I thought was wrong with the portrayals of the characters in various things but there just aren't that many things that both portray Moriarty and Moran (Moran often gets erased/ignored/replaced with original characters) and portrays them both well. I mean for instance it was over 70 years in between the only two films I know of that portrayed both Moriarty and Moran and gave Moran more than about 5 seconds of screen time and had them interacting positively. And even one of those (Silver Blaze from 1937, AKA Murder at the Baskervilles) didn't exactly portray them as brilliant criminals but at least they remembered Moran existed and they actually were quite friendly and they showed Moran appearing rather protective towards Moriarty (the other film is A Game of Shadows of course. I also don't know of any films/screen adaptations since AGoS that's portrayed them both and done so well).

Michael Kurland's Moriarty (novels and short stories) series is something I have mixed feelings about overall. He does effectively replace Moran with original characters in it. I do like Moriarty in his stories and it's nice to have something that isn't just 'Moriarty is the Most Evil person ever' but where he is still a criminal, but some of the stories are quite tedious to me because they spend so long focusing on the original characters at times and, well, there's just no Moran, except for a sort of cameo appearance in one novel and then one novel where he finally appears in a significant role. That's The Empress of India which is the best/most entertaining of the series I think and though it does change Moran's role quite a lot still does have them both in it as major characters and does have them interacting positively. That's the one I'd recommend above the rest of them.

Gareth Rubin's Holmes and Moriarty might be a possibility but I can't actually comment about that book myself yet since I haven't read it yet (I should hopefully be getting it for christmas so, soon maybe).

A few people seem to really love Moriarty The Devil's Game and The Silent Order (podcasts) and the Moriarty and Moran portrayals and relationship in those but unfortunately I thought they were both awful and I hated almost everything they did with, well, pretty much every character and everything else in them actually not even just Moriarty and Moran.

A lot of people will probably also say Kim Newman's The Hound of the D'urbervilles is THE 'mormor' book but for multiple reasons I just... don't like it or think it portrays either character or the relationship well, not least because it's too much of a sort of 'comedy AU'. I mean it was funny on first reading but the humour didn't really stand up to a second reading for me and I do have a lot of other issues with it so I no longer own a copy of that, put it that way.

There are two The File on Colonel Moran books by Vernon Mealor which aren't exactly brilliant but at least do include both characters and have a few moments of quite friendly interaction between them.

The Granada/ITV TV versions of The Final Problem and The Empty House, maybe? (Moriarty is also briefly in The Red Headed League in that too) But that is the characters separately not together. And even though so many people love that series so much and love how Moriarty's portrayed in it I don't like Moriarty in it and I do have some major issues with how he's portrayed. I do like Moran in it much more although I still have some issues with that episode too. Also it always annoys me a bit that they did expand on Moriarty's character a bit but then still never had him interacting with Moran in it, they could have done a lot more with them and them together especially but just... didn't.

Some people seem to really like Neil Gaiman's A Study in Emerald but I'm not one of those people. And Anthony Horowitz's Moriarty which... I don't hate but it's another one I have a lot of issues with (one big issue is Moran's characterisation and his relationship with Moriarty. It could be much worse I suppose but it could also be much better).

I'm trying to remember what else there is now.

There's The Mammoth Book of the Adventures of Moriarty which I went through in its entirety again... last year? to record my thoughts about every story in it and most of those thoughts unfortunately were not positive. There are lots of bits and pieces in various stories in it that I liked but overall there wasn't a single story in it that I actually really liked in its entirety, although some were completely terrible and I never want to read them ever again while some were more tolerable (some of the stories had Moran in, some of them didn't).

That's about all I can think of now. There are some other books and short stories but a lot of them only have one of the characters in (probably usually Moriarty while Moran is forgotten about/ignored, although there are a few with just Moran in) and a lot of them I wouldn't say are particularly great anyway.

[tymime]

I’m willing to admit that Song of the South isn’t exactly ideal in it’s depiction of of black people in the post-Civil War era. It’s a very Disney-fied version of an old-time Southern plantation. That much is obvious. That said, I’m certain that no one involved in the film intended it to be racist. It doesn’t depict Remus or any of the other black characters in a negative light. In fact, Remus is probably the smartest, wisest character in the whole cast. By contrast, the white characters generally tend to be very dumb and/or annoying, and in some cases bordering on disturbing.

I’m gonna be honest- I don’t actually enjoy the live-action parts very much. The plot relies way too heavily on important things being unsaid, and as I said, I find many of the characters off-putting in one way or another, especially the kids. In contrast, I find Remus and Tempy to be very likeable and charming.

It’s the animated segments that I really love. The animal characters are delightful, especially the villainous Br’er Fox, and the animation is among the best the Disney studio put out in the 1940s. The setting and characters have almost endless potential, as evidenced by how many stories Joel Chandler Harris collected, and especially the Disney comics, which have been going on in some form or another for decades now.

I think it’s very likely that if Disney had only adapted the stories into animated form, and didn’t bother with the live-action parts at all, the characters wouldn’t be half as controversial as they are now.

So it really does pain me to see Splash Mountain being replaced. I totally understand that Disney doesn’t want to appear racist, but I’m pretty sure destroying a beloved theme park ride that millions of people have enjoyed for over three decades isn’t the way to do it.

I adore Splash Mountain. I’ve been a fan of it long before I even heard of Song of the South. It’s fantastically well-made, from the music, the animatronics, the sets... the whole thing just oozes rustic charm. I don’t fully understand what it is about it, but I find the ride almost magical in a way. (It might have something to do with my Southern roots- my grandfather on my mother’s side grew up in small town in Arkansas during the Great Depression, and loved bluegrass and folk music.) Whatever it is, I actually like it better than Song of the South in many ways. I’m going to miss it dearly. Between this and that awful Mickey ride they’ve shoehorned into Toon Town, I’m not sure I could ever go back to Disneyland without breaking down and crying. I might just have to go to Tokyo Disneyland instead- provided that they don’t replace their version too, which hopefully will never happen.

Is that what you want, Disney? To make people cry because you destroyed cherished childhood memories?

I like The Princess and the Frog quite a bit, but it doesn’t inspire me the same way Br’er Rabbit’s world does. So I’ll admit that I’m a bit biased. I’m sure there are young black people out there who love it a lot, and appreciate that Disney went out of their way to give them a princess of their own.

The problem is, is that giving Splash Mountain a new coat of paint isn’t really going to fix anything. It’s clear to me that all that will happen is that the explicit references to Song of the South will be removed and replaced, and everything else will remain the same. Most likely the old animatronics will be singing songs from The Princess and the Frog, and I really can’t imagine how they’re going to do that without it being extremely awkward, especially considering that most of them are tied to the plot. I’m certain that as soon as it opens Tiana’s Bayou Adventure is going to be known as “the ride that used to be Splash Mountain”. Uninformed people are guaranteed to make snarky comments like “Hey, did you know this ride used to be racist??”. The shadow of Song of the South is going to forever loom over it.

I can’t help but wonder if anybody’s opinion was considered before such a drastic (and likely poor) decision was made. Was there a poll among Disney’s black and mixed-race employees asking what they thought? Or was it just a bunch of white executives who suddenly came up with the idea? Is this all just a huge PR stunt to make the company look good? I’m also suspicious about how it took them so long to decide to do this. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I never heard of any significant objections raised regarding Splash Mountain until a few years ago. You’d think that, back in the 1980s, somebody would have said, “Hey, you might wanna reconsider building this”. Heck, it was even featured in Disneyland Adventures as recently as 2011, with Br’er Rabbit and everything! You can still buy the game on Steam right now!

I guess what I’m saying is that, when it comes to racism in Disney media, it ain’t no Peter Pan.

I just wish Disney would own up to Song of the South and stop pretending it doesn’t exist. They should just rerelease it already, so that people can make up their own minds about whether or not it’s racist. Keeping it hidden away just makes it seem worse than it really is. Putting it on Disney+ with a warning at the beginning would be enough. But if they wanted to go the whole nine yards, they could make a full-length documentary about it, explaining the movie’s history and its context, along with interviews with African-American celebrities and historians. Whoopi Goldberg could narrate, since she’s already well-known for introducing cartoons with problematic depictions of non-white cultures, some much more blatantly racist than Song of the South ever was. I even came up with a title they can use: A Man Named Remus.

I suppose I’m being a bit apologist about this whole thing. I’m a white guy after all, so you should definitely take my opinion with a grain of salt. I just don’t want something I love to disappear forever, that’s all...

[originalleftist]

Even though the frenzy has mostly died down, and public opinion has shifted somewhat, Amber Heard's image remains poisoned by the trials and the associated hate campaign against her.

Just as an example, I typed "amber heard" into the search bar on Youtube. Here, in order, are the top 14 prompts it gave me:

amber heard

amber heard kate moss

amber heard johnny depp

amber heard my dog stepped on a bee

amber heard cross examination

amber heard interview

amber heard now

amber heard mentions kate moss

amber heard kiss

amber heard testimony

amber heard aquaman 2

amber heard lawyer gets owned

amber heard trial

amber heard johnny depp funny moments

See the problem? 14 prompts, and of those, 9 directly reference her abuser, the abuse, or the trial, and 3 of those are overtly derogatory/demeaning to her or her legal team.

A grand total of ONE references her work as an actor, in 11th place on the list, and then only her most recent film.

Actually search "amber heard" and view the search results, and it's even worse. Of the videos (not counting shorts) that come up, 6 of the top 10 are, just by glancing at the thumbnail/caption, overtly hostile and derogatory to her/her legal team, 3 pretty clearly are (ie using photos of her chosen to appear ugly or hostile, asserting that Aquaman 2 "failed"), and the last one appears to be an SNL skit about the Virginia trial. Of the shorts, 2 or 3 out of the first 8 visible are overtly negative, and at least 6 reference the trial or other scandals/controversies.

Granted most places I've seen aren't as bad as Youtube, Youtube is the absolute bottom of the barrel for hate content on social media, a recent study by the Anti-Defamation League actually found it was the worst offender for monetizing hate over Facebook and Musk's Twitter. But still.

If you are a random person who searches her name on Youtube, nearly everything you see about her will be about the Virginia trial or related controversy, most of it overtly demeaning/vilifying her. You have to actively look to find anything positive about her or her work or any other aspect of her life, and even then, you WILL have to trawl through a lot of MRA/Alt. Reich-ish content designed to illicit feelings of hatred, disgust, and contempt toward her, and often toward women and abuse survivors generally. If you are someone who didn't follow the trial, or a young person in a few years who was too young to remember it, and you look her name up, these are the first things you'll likely see, and your first impression of her. Everything else about her life- her dozens of film and television roles, her other relationships, her extensive activism and charitable work, is obscured. And any future work that she does will likely be difficult to promote, because it'll get quickly buried in all this shit (I am reminded of Steven Bannon's infamous remark describing his media tactics, "flood the zone with shit", and much of the hate campaign against Heard is very much in his style). And that will follow her for years- to some extent, probably, forever.

And somehow, that's not the saddest part about all of this. The saddest part is that she has a young daughter who, if not already, will soon be old enough to go on social media, or talk to people who have, and find out exactly what much of the world says about her mother, and by association her. Lovely.

And to be honest I feel guilty even posting about it any more, because even by posting about it to call it out, I'm still contributing to the fact that so much of the content on social media about her is about the abuse and trial, that that's still defining how her whole life is perceived, and I know that, and I know that she probably doesn't want to be defined by that forever. Which is part of why I've tried to consciously shift in recent months to posting more about the rest of her life and work, and less about the trials and the witch-hunt.

But sometimes I do still feel the urge to point at this shit and say "What the fuck?"

[sanityshorror]

Have you made a post about what Julius and Killian like about each other? I'd love to read it

I've answered many questions about their relationship and posted about it before, everything is linked in my pinned post. However - why not take the opportunity to share some of those things right now? : D I kept this all pretty PG - shockingly lol. I also recommend reading (in this order) Gravestone [link] and then Reunion [link] , if you want to understand their relationship a bit better^0^

Killian and Julius, first and foremost, have always shared an unbreakable bond, they met and became very close friends the first time they met when they were very young children (Julius 4½ and Killian was 7). Neither of them are exactly sure of the exact reason they instantly became attached at the hip. They mutually share the sentiment that they are not complete without the other.

Both of them came from abusive and unstable homes, neither of them had any stability nor someone they could trust, except each other. As much as they fought back in their time as humans (Victorian era), they also never failed to be there for the other when it was truly needed.

Julius still scares the living Hell out of Killian, and that's actually one of the reasons Killian is so in love with him. No one else is has managed to remotely phase Killian since his childhood. Julius on the other hand is very erratic, unhinged and so off the rails that Killian is freaked out by some of his antics. It gives Killian a feeling of being truly alive, the fear. He knew Julius would eventually be the death of him, and Killian would have been disappointed if it wasn't Julius who'd done him in. Killian is into crazy, and Julius fits the bill.

Obviously, they both came back as demons after their deaths, leaving their souls very literally intertwined for eternity. To quote Killian, "we have an unbreakable bond, not even death could separate us."

Killian also is obsessed with Caesar, and Julius lives up to his name sake, with his personality and antics he very much is similar to the God - I mean- man, he was named after. So of course, Killian is drawn to that.

Killian loves everything about Julius, he wouldn't change a thing. Obviously, he finds Julius beyond attractive but appearance is the lust – Killian fell in love with who Julius is on the inside.

Julius loves Killian for many reasons as well. Though Julius is fully capable of holding his own and even kicking Killian's ass in a fight, he still is always on edge…unless Killian is there. Because Killian is extremely protective and possessive of Julius, and Julius loves it.

Julius also is into "bad boys," so no further explanation needed there. Additionally, he does love the power Killian has as the mob boss, and he loves how brutal Killian is as well.

He also does love how intelligent and well educated (self educated, at that) Killian is. He generally loves Killian's personality, he loves Killian's sense of humor, he loves that Killian does all the cheesy romantic stuff.

Julius believes Killian is perfection, both in appearance and who he is inside. He definitely climbs Killian like a tree but again, it's who Killian is inside that got Julius in love.

Fun fact about the relationship: it's heavily inspired by Mickey and Mallory from the film Natural Born Killers!

I'm always more than happy to answer questions :'>

[sweetsmellosuccess]

Black Panther Live: Philadelphia Orchestra

Five thoughts on a fabulous Sunday afternoon with the orchestra at the Kimmel Center in downtown Philadelphia

The Kimmel Center is a wonderful place to hear the orchestra, but needs a larger movie screen. So much was wonderful about the experience of seeing Ryan Coogler’s 2018 film, which remains one of the high-water marks of the entire MCU, accompanied by the Philadelphia Orchestra, one of the world’s finest ensembles, along with world-renowned tama “living drum” master, Massamba Diop, that the one glaring downside  —  the Kimmel’s movie screen feels more than a tad small for the space its filling  — stood out. The acoustics are grand, the seats comfortable, the space itself inviting and spectacular, so the lone weak link in the production was the screen, dwarfed, as it was, by everything else around it. It certainly wasn’t a deal-breaker by any means, but one could easily see how much more impact a larger image might have on the whole enterprise. I understand it’s not something the Kimmel does on a very regular basis, but still well worth looking into. 

The film has aged powerfully, if not steeped in the tragic. There is much to love about Coogler’s film  —  so many scenes one could look forward to with anticipatory glee  — but every scene, even the goofy camaraderie between T’Challa (Chadwick Boseman) and his kid sister, Shuri (Letitia Wright)  —  becomes shaded in somber tones due to Boseman’s tragic death back in 2020. It’s difficult to watch the film, even as joyful an expression of multiculturalism as it is, and not feel the weight of that loss (very much well-covered in the film’s sequel, Wakanda Forever, in which the loss of Boseman permeates every moment). All leading roles are designed to be central to a film’s focus, but Boseman’s generous warmth and decency powers the entire operation in such a way that you can’t imagine anyone else in the role (as evidenced in the sequel’s difficulty in trying to fill the Panther’s be-clawed boots). As good as Coogler’s film is  —  and, in the writing and storytelling, specifically, it’s among the very best of the MCU  —  it doesn’t work half as well without Boseman’s presence. I spent much of the film’s first act with tears welling in my eyes. He remains a tremendous loss. 

Andy Serkis’ Ulysses Klaue is a fabulous villain, but Killmonger remains king. If the MCU indeed has a #villainproblem, Panther managed to offer not one great baddie, but two, and for totally different reasons. It’s easy to hate Klaue  —  a gregarious mercenary, filled with evil bonhomie and ruthless skullduggery (helpful that Serkis himself appears to be having such a blast in the role), who makes his nefarious living stealing precious items and selling them to the highest bidder, the world be damned  —  but Michael B. Jordan’s Killmonger is a whole other story. Ruthless, brutal, and terrifyingly focused, he is, as Martin Freeman’s character Agent Ross informs us, doing things exactly as he’s been trained to by the U.S. military black ops division. Killmonger’s point, that after centuries of suffering, it’s time for the racial hierarchy to be upended with black people on top, actually makes perfect sense, in any sort of just world, even if his methodology is aggressively savage. He’s such a compelling character, in fact, with pride, menace, and swag veritably dripping off of Jordan’s skin, it’s pretty clear Coogler, along with co-writer Joe Robert Cole, had to tip the morality scales a wee bit with Killmonger (having him threaten an innocent gardener, burn the sacred flowers to the ground so there can’t be any more panthers, and gut Forest Whitaker’s Zuri in cold blood, all while sneering contempt for the ancient ways of the Wakandans), in order to make the audience actually want him to lose at the end. To balance that balance, the screenwriters see fit to give him a hero’s sort of death, defiant, significant, and on his own terms. A lot of other actors would have withered against the powerhouse charisma of Jordan, but Boseman is well up to the task, which creates a spectacular dynamic between the two dedicated actors. 

Having the live orchestra, along with Massamba Diop, adds an element to the excellent soundtrack. Honestly, I’m not normally one who terribly much notices a film’s score  —  at least, at first listen  —  unless it’s dramatically amazing or frustratingly distracting, even one as solid as Ludwig Göransson’s work for Panther, but having it performed as a separate entity, in harmony with the film, but not directly of it, sets it off from the screen just enough to allow iit hit with that much more force, enhancing the entire experience. On top of that, with the master showman Diop front and center of the orchestra, set off in his own booth, facing the audience, and leaping to his feet at key orchestral moments, it sort of bridges the gap between film and theater. It’s a spectacle that crackles with energy. 

Seeing the film with a packed house of rabid devotees was a singular experience. The crowd was amped for this event, and I mean, they were loud, hype, and effusive. They cheered when the orchestra sat down, they cheered when the first violinist took the stage, they cheered when conductor Damon Gupton swung out, and they cheered wildly when Gupton introduced Diop, who came out in a shimmering orange robe/pants ensemble. They kept cheering throughout the film  —  when Okoye (Danai Gurira) answers as to whether she would cut down even her beloved (Daniel Kaluuya) in defense of her country by hissing “Without question!” the audience erupted in thunderous approval  —  and they kept a deep, respectful silence during Killmonger’s death scene. You didn’t hear any chattering. You didn’t see people checking their texts, or basketball scores. Everyone was there in respectful reverence to the film, which made for a glorious communal experience. This is why having an 85” flatscreen still can’t compare to watching a huge film in an enormous setting, amongst a throng of equally devoted true believers. There’s simply nothing else like it. 

[perstella]

001. time jumps, work-provided laptops, and the oligarchy

I have no memory of ever having created this blog. I remember my other two (one of which was accidentally deleted in a preteen fit of hysteria, probably) but have genuinely no idea when or why this page is attached to one of my emails. like yes, obviously this was me- a theme taken from free coding done by someone else, a reference to an obscure coldplay lyric, and pages upon pages upon pages of 'aesthetic' photos of nothing in particular. it's got fourteen-year-old me written all over it, that's not the question. but I digress.

now seems as good a time as ever to return to the former glory that used to be tumblr.com. it may be a wasteland now, but after the last few years of overstimulation and emotional exhaustion from sites like twitter and tiktok, maybe the emptiness can be a good thing. maybe I can finally hear an echo again. maybe I can enjoy the internet in the way it was intended to be: self-indulgent nobodies from around the world speaking in circles, coding dumb shit, and occasionally sharing cat videos (or gore, depending on your luck that day).

to my preteen self, if you can see this: london and the uk in general are pretty much exactly as they appear in doctor who, as I'm sure you'd be thrilled to know. not that we ever really intended to end up here long term, but that's how it's working out. the infinity stones arc in the mcu ended with two great, heart-wrenching films called 'infinity war' and 'endgame' but sadly nothing they've put out since has been even remotely good (you'll later learn about how disney bought up marvel and how that's the root cause of all your modern media woes. oh also netflix is evil too). I won't speak on high school, but college was pretty disappointing. except for the part where I finally got to dress like how I wanted to at 14, so I think you would've loved the era of the e-girl. go enjoy 2015 and know that next to none of your photos from that time will get saved in the long run.

to my future self, or this historian using this to examine life in the 2020s: do we make it? is it all okay in the end? not sure if I know who 'we' even is anymore cause I think there's enough suffering go around for anyone to want to know if they survive. it's a few days before the inauguration right now, and I have this horrible vibration feeling behind my sternum. it's like I'm still fourteen and I'm in history class reading the textbooks and thinking, 'how could they let that happen?' and wondering what I'd do in their shoes except the vibration is just dissociation and I am the textbook. and I'm remembering just how much the heroes of those stories had to endure, sick to my stomach at knowing that inevitably I'm not strong enough for this. and I will fail, and I will be forgotten, and just like everything, my effort will have been a waste.

funnily enough, I logged back into these old tumblr accounts of mine while at work and laughed at the age-typical angst in all of my writing, pitying how little I knew and how much I thought life was awful in 2014. now I'm rereading what I wrote, drinking hot chocolate out of a mug I stole from a bar in bruges, and realising that time is a flat fucking circle and maybe after all I am who I was before. maybe the change I've spent my whole life running from never happened at all, and I'm still the same weird little girl hiding in her room on her laptop speaking to an audience that never applauds.

anywho. what will this blog become? I'm not sure. I'm not sure I'll even use it regularly, because my youthful desire for attention and acknowledgment is now coming head-to-head with my frontal lobe fully developed, begging for respite from the hellfire that is the internet. maybe it will become somewhere to write again, or a place to share photos, or reflections on my eating disorder recovery. maybe this will remain empty, a fossil left behind from the last good stand of american suburbia. who knows?

as I once so wisely wrote as a teenager: 'time marches forward. you must march with it, or get trampled in the crowd.'

[adamwatchesmovies]

Under Siege (1992)

I haven’t watched all of Steven Seagal’s filmography but I’m nonetheless confident in calling Under Siege his best film. It takes a somewhat familiar formula (it’s Die Hard on a boat) and delivers everything you want to see. There’s a lot of action and thrills, the stakes are high, the bad guys are terrific - so good they easily steal the show.

Aboard the battleship USS Missouri, Executive Officer Commander Krill (Gary Busey) is preparing a surprise party for the captain. No one suspects there's more to it than music and a hot lady busting out of the cake. Actually, it’s a ploy to get William Strannix (Tommy Lee Jones) and his crew aboard so they can commandeer the ship and its nuclear arsenal. With all of the sailors killed or captured, it's up to the cook (Steven Seagal as Casey Ryback) and "Miss July" (Erika Eleniak as Jordan Tate) to save the day.

Unsurprisingly, Steven Seagal is not playing some lowly cook. He’s got special skills; exactly the kind required to take the Missouri back from the terrorists who’ve captured it. Even before we learn his backstory, you believe Ryback is up to the task because the character is smart. He knows he can’t take all of these baddies down on his own/through conventional methods so he finds ways to even the odds. Booby traps, subterfuge, calling for help, freeing some of his shipmates, getting anyone who will be sympathetic to help him and - my favorite - he picks up the weapons of those he defeats. It doesn’t sound like much but it’s what anyone with a brain would do in real life and in the movies, you rarely see anyone pick up a gun, much less pick up a spare so they can arm someone else to help. Though Seagal doesn’t prove himself to be all that charismatic, he handles the stunts well. You believe it when he sends the opposing goons to Davy Jones' locker. There are a lot of great kills in this movie, many of which will make you yell “Damn!” out loud.

I know Seagal has fans, but he's never been able to elevate the material handed to him. Luckily, we're in the hands of Andrew Davis (who made The Fugitive a year after this film) and a great supporting cast. First, there’s Gary Busey as Commander Krill. What a perfect role for him. The second he appears on-screen, you know he'll be an antagonist but then he surprises you by being even more despicable, sociopathic and corrupt than expected. You love to hate him because because you can tell he’s been thinking about this day for a long time, mentally picturing how it would all go down, and the people he was going to kill. You can’t wait for him to get what’s coming and the same goes for Tommy Lee Jones’ William Strannix. Somewhere between the cold, calculating Hans Gruber and the fanatical Egor Korshunov (from Air Force One”, another Die Hard-like action picture) he’s also enjoying this heist a little bit too much but between the jokes he makes at his victims’ expense, he keeps his cool. He recognizes the threat Ryback poses and comes up with counter strategies that keep him - and you - on your toes the whole way through.

Finally, we have Erika Eleniak as "Miss July", who might think is just a pretty face - and a bare chest - to add to the “R” Rating but she contributes A LOT. She’s the avatar for the audience: brought onboard the ship under false circumstances, she is totally in over her head. She realizes her only chance is to stick around with Ryback and yeah… that’s what you’d do too! I’m surprised more films haven't copied this aspect of Under Siege to give the hero someone to bounce off of and help them when they find themselves in a jam there’s seemingly no escaping.

Under Siege is a surprisingly memorable take on the Die Hard formula. I know that sounds like a backward compliment - like it’s only good if you’ve seen Die Hard a thousand times and you want something new - but this picture is solid. It’s a great “dad movie”, something you and the old man could sit through and thoroughly enjoy any day of the week. It makes great use of its location, both villains are memorable, the action is satisfying, Seagall handles the stunts well, and his sidekick is a great new ingredient to spice up the recipe. When you catch it, feel free to stay until the end of the credits to get some bonus facts about the ship upon which the film was shot. (On DVD, February 11, 2022)

[nickgerlich]

In The Weeds

Happy Sunday, everyone! Today concludes five weeks of the Spring 2023 semester. Marketing, for all its warts and pimples, is probably the easiest topical area in the College of Business to find things to talk about. That’s because it’s going on each and every day. In second place I would put Economics, because the economy. I think you get that, too. The other topics are all important, but their appearances in the news are usually just tied to earnings calls and management problems. 



I wouldn’t be able to write every day in those fields. So thank you, Marketing. You make my job all too easy. 



Sunday is also the day that I allow for wandering off into the weeds a bit, with topics that stretch the imagination and at first may make my students wonder exactly what is the connection to our course. Today’s is no different in that regard, but when you think about the topic I’m going to present, I think you will see very clearly how all of this ties in to Digital Marketing. Actually, Captain Obvious would raise his hand in a New York second. This one is that easy, but at the same time gives us reason to ponder the significance.



I hearken back to 2002 when Tom Cruise starred in Minority Report. Tom did not know this, but this film was made pretty much in the middle between his stints as a fighter pilot. Maybe we should just call him Maverick and be done with it.

Sorry. I drifted a little too far off into the weeds.



We all know how advertising has entered the digital arena. Heck, we just looked at Amazon Ads yesterday, and recalled how Google and Facebook became advertising companies. A few days ago, we looked at livestream shopping, yet another application.

But the digital arena is a far bigger stadium than just what we see on our phones, tablets, and laptops. It’s easy to say that all of those devices are the unreal world, which leaves behind every other thing we do in public, in offices, and at home.

What if digital marketing reached beyond those devices and into our everyday life? What if everything we saw and heard were a carefully curated experience based on—who else?—you? The audience of one concept is already established on our electronic devices, but imagine a world in which you were recognized while walking or driving, and marketing messages appeared out of nowhere aimed specifically at you?

Yeah. This sounds a lot like Minority Report when our star strolls through a shopping mall. He is greeted by name; he is beckoned come hither to peruse and spend. And all because of ubiquitous cameras that can recognize faces. It’s almost like I need to use this film at the start of the semester instead of that old grainy A.D. 1999 I have been using for a long time.

Turns out it has been happening for a few years already in somewhat limited form, but today is really taking off. And it has privacy advocates in an uproar.

I have long argued that Google and Apple Maps could do a much better job serving up shopping and dining destinations on our phones, based on our location and proximity to such destinations. But what if there were cameras attached to digital billboards, those sometimes-annoying yet always changing screens we are seeing alongside the freeway and city streets?



Yeah once more. Continuous improvements in cameras and software have made it possible to recognize people coming along, to the point of discerning age range, gender, and even race, as well as number of occupants in a car.



It’s far from perfect or up to Minority Report, but even with limited demographic information, highly targeted ads could be deployed. I can only imagine a fictional conversation back at some corporate headquarters: “Hey, here comes a mature male traveling alone. I bet he could use a beer!”

At which point I would say, “Where?”

|While they may not be able recognize me just yet—unless they can read my front license plate and tap into Texas’ DMV—I can see that day coming. We are approaching it with Amazon’s Just Walk Out technology, although that is more app-recognition than facial. For now.

Of course, this is all allowable because in the US, there is little if any expectation of privacy. This would meet significant resistance in Europe, where the GDPR—General Data Protection Regulation—provides far more personal protection than we have in the US. In fact, the GDPR is what caused websites to have that annoying pop-up asking us if we accept cookies. I’m not sure whether to say “Way to go” or “Thank you very much.”

I’m good with it, though, because I want my life to be ever more curated. It keeps making my life easier, from the music and shows I stream, the books I read, the foods I eat. It allows me to cut to the chase, and if in the process of these exchanges I have allowed them to look far behind the curtain that might otherwise shield me from others, I’m good. It’s on me. It’s the price of living in the 21C. I’m just not sure how it will all work for those who despise all this, though.



In any regard, it is coming soon to the US, unless new laws were enacted similar to GDPR. The day is coming soon when we will be recognized not just as a mature white male driving on I-40, but me. Yours truly. And you truly.

Because digital marketing is not limited to just the devices we own. It has now spread its tentacles to the entire public sphere. And just like Tom Cruise, we will here marketing messages designed for us. There’s that audience of one thing again, but now in the whole wide world. Or in the weeds.



Your call. Happy Sunday, y’all.

Dr “Waiting For That Beer Call On The 40“ Gerlich

Audio Blog

[booksanimeandtea]

Imma be hated for this but I stopped caring months ago so

T43ehyung is a snake. and a lying bitch. there is a plan as to why he keeps mentioning Jk, jk here, jk there...he does NOT mention anyone else, and certainly not jimin. think about it, once we got taejin (lots of fs during concerts), vhope (really they did spend lots of time together, eating out, giving e/o gifts) and of course we were sold the vmin are soulmates shit, maybe they were, I doubt they still are, wooga squad are his real friends. they have never mentioned e/o outside of work. we also got some joon x v during dynamite era, again fanservice during dynamite performance but that was that. then suddenly (or not so suddenly, certainly soop and hybe had a huge part in tk becoming close again) but again more strongly since 2021 we started getting a looot of tk content and t4e being all over jk...if you think I forgot about soop2 well you are gravely mistaken, I didn't. that cringe kitchen scene? forcing jk to cook for him and then hugging him? to then showing us him cooking some breakfast for jimin? like bitch??? that infamous vminkook live where he actually asked the staff to bring him jk (he ASKED THE STAFF I repeat) and then jm appears and afterwards jk too, and you all have to watch v watching jk all the fucking time, no wonder tkks said jm was the thirdwheel...and then harry styles concert where ofc as soon as he saw hobi was filming them, he had to hug jk and sway while singing, in no other pictures I've seen they were THAT close...then we also got a lot of tk fanservice during the different US concerts, US exactly, not korea, US! why? who knows, and jk was happily complying too mind you...to then all the anon has listed (I also have to add how he ruined new years eve in 2020 by posting a tk selca, act like he was the second owner of Bam, implied a tk subunit for Christmas that everyone was sure of it, Chuseok live 2022 where he did everything he could to be all over jk, like he kept on leaning on him and jk kept leaning away LOL)

there are lots of reasons and not only (possibly) him wanting to hide till he can that he's dating Jennie, a rival for Army, from a rival band and company...nope, what he wants to hide is that he's straight as a ruler, and not on the rainbow side, tbh he never hinted that he's gay or queer, rather he has made homophobic remarks on different occasions and towards jm, but he is so good in fanservicing fans that fans believe he's gay, even more than people who are so much queercoded! he's like HS in this sense...they were in a group, women shipped him in a delusional way with another band member while he was/is dating women and built a career over this...V needs tkks, needs jk, needs fake ot7 armys, he doesn't care about the mess he creates, he doesn't give 2 fucks about the hate others receives because of him, hate that we know they know, he think about himself, he's scared of fans losing interest in him, you see he's not that talented, he's not a good dancer, he is an ambassador yes but what his impact for celine? have you seen big news outlets or even little talk about him? no, exactly.

he needs all of this. he won't let it go soon, he'll keeps doing this and I hope to be wrong, but it can get worse too...and it already is...the worst part of this is...why jk has not noticed this..or if he did, why he doesn't say shit! that's what hurts the most...

tbh they are boring together when on live or on screen, people only scream about their faces (debatable, I think handsomeness resides in soemthing more than pretty, bitch-resting faces tbh) they are the most overrated ship ever. like even taegi are more entertaining to watch...

The End.

it’s interesting seeing taekookers talk about how “taehyung is exposing his relationship with jungkook” yet if you look at it all written it, it’s actually extremely weird, all of this comes from him within the last year, and i’m sure there is things forgotten, if this was jimin doing this to jungkook he would be torn to pieces, the fanservice narratives would be spread every single second, especially with how one sided it is

april 2022:

- talks about a “trip” he took with jungkook but then shuts up as soon as jungkook arrives

- as soon as jimin sat on floor during vhopekookmin live, grabbed jk and pulled him close to him

may 2022:

- festa video, grabbed his leg and grabbed him to pull his close to him

june 2022:

- did live saying would get tattoo with jungkook

- uploaded a fake tattoo minutes after jungkook posted his real one

- posted photo of jungkook on his story during a music show recording

october:

- busan live, as soon as jimin touched him, he grabbed him and put his arm round him

november:

- live saying he was going to game with jungkook

- next day at airport said he was going to be coming with jungkook(?)

january:

- 4 minute live and mentioned jungkook

- another live, said he was gaming with jungkook

february:

- made jungkook do a instagram live with him

- did a live randomly name dropping jungkook

march:

- live stream randomly mentioning jungkook

- comments on jungkooks post randomly minutes after the jikook interaction about ramyun

april:

- car live mentions doing karaoke with jungkook

- starts a live randomly in jungkooks house seconds before leaving

- live where he mentions jungkook randomly, says he told him a song, mentions him about 10 times

- another live randomly mentions jungkook after the premiere

may:

- posts random tk selfie 3 weeks after the premiere

The most interesting part is the increase with how often it has happened since all the Taennie leak, meanwhile they continue to wear the clothes from the leaks, and post even more photos showing things from the photos which we haven’t seen before, meanwhile he at the same time is feeding Taekookers even more.

This is all just going to end up negatively on him, because one day he is going to have to reveal he is a heterosexual man.

[hauntlikeaghost0]

boyish | e.m.

eddie munson x gn!reader

summary: based on boyish by japanese breakfast. you want eddie but he wants something more beautiful, chrissy cunningham

warnings: angstttt, tiniest hint of fluff, eddie’s still lovely + chrissy is not the villain

a/n: this was requested by @l8r-sk8rz , not sure if this is exactly what you wanted angst-wise but hopefully it’ll do the job! thankyou so much for requesting!

being in love with eddie munson was as easy as breathing. the boy was simply magnetic. everything about him, each extravagant characteristic and unique mannerism, drew you to him with unexplainable strength. the second you met him you were pulled into his orbit, forced to circuit this human phenomenon like the somber moon to his thriving, effervescent earth.

you still remember the first time you saw him smile, it’s burned into your memory perfectly, having refused to forget a single detail. it wasn’t even directed at you, yet it took your breath away. the joyous glimmer in his eye, the smile lines carved deep into his cheeks and the rapturous curve in his pink lips. it felt like something inhumane just due to the way it had your heart racing. how could someone you didn’t even know raise such a visceral reaction from you with a simple smile? it was transcendent.

when he first approached you after one of his gigs, you didn’t expect the night to end with you pushed up against the door of a bathroom cubicle, your hands in his hair and his tongue in your mouth. of course, you’d come onto him pretty strongly after he’d sauntered over to ask how you liked the show. he’d finished his set with a two minute guitar solo that had clouded your inhibitions just enough to transform your fear of getting too close to him into an intense need for his company. 

he drove you to school the next morning, you sat with him at lunch, he kissed you at your locker and guided you to his van at the end of the day with a hand on the small of your back. you watched a film at his place, you slept in his bed, he drove you to school the next morning, walked you to class, kissed you at the door. he pushed your hair behind your ear, he painted your nails, he kissed your neck, he listened to you talk. he was soft and gentle and kind. and you were his. for months, you were his.

being in love with eddie was as easy as breathing, however, watching eddie be in love with someone else made each breath excruciating.

eddie munson is one of the kindest people you’ve ever met. though his appearance may contradict it, it is simply in his nature to comfort and care for those close to him. you spent months by his side as he loved someone else and he still doted on you like you were his reason for being. he held you like he meant it and wholeheartedly supported all you endeavours. he showered you in compliments and soft caresses. but, if you were the besotted moon orbiting his earth, then chrissy cunningham was his sun.

she was the one that drew him in. she was bright and warm and promised fulfilment. her life appeared clean cut; she was a cheerleader, she was popular and she still had a heart. each time you saw her she radiated sweetness. you marvelled at how, surrounded by the bloodsucking pressure of popularity, she still managed to maintain her humanity. even you saw the appeal. she was a beacon of light and hope in a situation in which eddie had always seen darkness and cruelty.

you spent so long watching him watch her. his dark eyes following her movements across the cafeteria as his thumb stroked the back of your hand. he was right next to you, so close you could feel his body heat, count the rings on his fingers, but he was no longer physically there. you dared to imagine what his was thinking of, just to worsen the pain you’d grown so accustomed to. would he kiss her like he kissed you? or would it be more desperate? more passionate? would he speak to her like he spoke to you? or would it be more lyrical? more tender? 

it was shameful, how many weeks you spent holding his hand as he fawned over her. drinking up all the care and attention he gave you, selfishly and hungrily to prepare for the day he finally let you go. you knew his heart was her’s, yet you clung to him and feigned ignorance, praying he would keep hold of yours just a little bit longer. it was desperate and greedy but, for a long time, it was better than being without him. he was still close, he still touched you softly and spoke delicate words, something you indulged in undeservingly.

tonight, he came home with her. you tried to be comforted by the fact it was simply a drug deal, transactional and impersonal but, as their laughter echoed down the small hallway, you knew you had exhausted your right to his attention.

“i like her.” you say, watching him stand in the door way and dramatically salute to chrissy as way of goodbye. you don’t see her smile but you know from the colour in his cheeks that she did. the sound of her car driving away and eddie’s trailer door closing, punctuates the end of your statement.

he grins softly. “yeah.”

you take a moment to appreciate his appearance. allow yourself once last chance to indulge in the fantasy that the adoration in his gaze and tender tilt of his smile is directed at you. for one last moment, he is your boyfriend that loves you unconditionally, that needs you like you need him and that will kiss you goodnight tonight.

a spark of resentment rises within you. how easy it would be, to take the aching pain this causes and set it alight with anger. to make it bitter and spiteful and throw insult after insult. to scream at him instead of wanting to sob. maybe he’d scream back and maybe that would make it easier to leave him. easier to go home to your empty bed, to start cycling to school again and eating lunch on your own. easier to walk yourself to class, to watch a movie alone, to paint your own nails.

“i didn’t realise how easy it would be for me hate you for this.” you laugh without humour, as that familiar ache burns down your throat that signals you’re already holding back tears.

eddie’s brows furrow deeply, stepping away from the door and turning his attention to you.

“for what?” he says it slowly as though unsure he even wants to ask, dragging out the vowels.

your expression is something between a sad smile and a grimace, voice cracking halfway through your sentence. “for loving her.”

you only breathe it out. like saying the words to solidly would hurt you more or shatter the delicate state of tension the room is enveloped in. it’s the calm before the storm and one wrong word could send you both spiralling. eddie blanches.

“i don’t love her.” he doesn’t say it with much conviction and he moves his arms to cross over his chest, each hand gripping a bicep. he’s on the defence.

at the lie, you feel that ghost of anger surge within you. “oh, spare me.” you speak through a tight jaw, fighting to contain the annoyance. “i’ve had to watch you love her for months, the least you could do is show me the decency of telling the truth.”

his shoulders drop and he lets out a quiet sigh. your heart shatters. though you have always been painfully aware of his feelings for her, there was still a tiny, naive part of you that hoped you were wrong. that imagined scenarios where you confronted him and he immediately discredited you, ranting and raving about how you were his one and only and how he would never leave you.

instead, you’re faced with the sight of him sinking down onto the couch with his head in his hands. “months?” he whispers out quietly. “you’ve known for months?”

your eyes begin to sting with withheld tears. all you do is nod, then, realising he can’t see you, you breath out a shaky. “yes.”

“how?” is his instantaneous response, head slowly raising to meet yours as he gazes at you with confusion. “how did you know?”

the answer is so glaringly simple to you that it’s the first thing you say confidently. it makes him wince, like he’s starting to hate himself for what he’s done to you. “i love you.”

you maintain eye contact as you say it, hoping to display your sincerity. even if he can’t return the feeling he still deserves to know. “i’ve spent so long hopelessly in love with you that i know pining when i see it.”

he grimaced deeply and you see the glisten of tears in his own eyes. “i’m sorry.” eddie chokes out and you feel the anger nip at you again.

you chose to stay with him, knowing he loved someone else, but he didn’t know you knew. he still climbed into bed with you most nights and didn’t feel guilty enough to tell you your feelings were unrequited, that he longed for a relationship with someone else. your stomach turns and a few stray tears begin to fall.

“it’s not your fault you don’t love me back, i just wish there was a way to stop it hurting so much.” your voice is watery but it’s lost it’s tender volume it had before, there are some things you need to set straight. “i can’t get you off my mind! i’ve spent every moment you’ve been my boyfriend grateful for the fact that you are my boyfriend and i spent all the moments before that dreaming about it. then i’m forced to sit by and watch as your mind is occupied by her?”

your chest rises and falls deeply as the stream of tears grow stronger. there’s a physical pain in your chest that feels all too like your heart crumbling behind your ribs.

“what makes it worse is i can’t even blame you!” you yell as eddie continues to stew in his pained silence. “she’s pretty and kind and a fucking cheerleader for christ’s sake! it’s every teenage boys fantasy!”

a scoff falls from your lips, humor behind it and slight embarrassment flashes over eddie’s features. it feels so ironically stereotypical for him to fall for her of all people, like the set up to a cheesy romcom, something so unlike eddie.

“look at us,” you laugh through the onslaught of tears, “we’re just…. just two losers! i want you and you want something more beautiful.”

in an instant eddie is opening his mouth to correct you, reaching our gentle hands to grasp your shoulders. “y/n-”

but your quick to move away, his soft touch too persuasive. if you let him hold you, it would be impossible to leave. it would take one touch to decide that selfishly indulging in his comfort is far easier than having to mourn the ghost of his touch as long as you may. a sob leaves you at his hurt expression.

“everything in me wants to stand here and beg for you to love me, beg and beg,” you have to look away as tears gather his eyes and your voice cracks. “i have to go.”

his frown only deepens and a few tears drop from his lashline. “don’t.” he breathes out and you’re ridiculously close to caving, to falling into his arms and pretending just a little bit longer.

“do you love her?” is your response.

and he grimaces, retreating back to his place on the couch. it’s the perfect answer to his plea, his silence is answer enough but as eddie slowly nods his head ‘yes,’ you both know it’s too late. he doesn’t love you and you can’t watch him love her any longer.

“i have to go.”

as the door closes behind you, deafening in the silence of the trailer park, the loss of him hits you harsher than the cold night air. he was the best thing to ever happen to you, beautifully kind and painfully compassionate, but what hurts more is to realise that you will always be his whilst he was never actually yours.

[anonquack]

| His Merch |

Alex Quackity x Reader, Oneshot!

Word Count: 4256

Warnings: None, just some curse words. Fluff :]

Summary: Being such good friends with Quackity leads to the inevitable; catching feelings. In fear of ruining your friendship with him, you kept quiet about your feelings. Although usually good at that, after a merch drop and a slip-up on stream, you prepare yourself for the worst. Queue the incoming call from Quackity himself.

Today had been a productive day, in your opinion. You'd woken up earlier than usual, ate breakfast, cleaned around your apartment, and managed to get started on editing a video you'd recently filmed.

That's why you considered yourself very deserving of sitting down and enjoying your friend's stream as you ate some snacks.

Quackity had a fun stream planned, and had hyped up a 'big announcement' on Twitter, and the whole timeline was already speculating what it could be as they awaited for Quackity to start stream.

Being his friend had some perks though, contrary to popular belief. He'd discussed with you what the big announcement was as you sat on call with him a few nights prior to the big day. It was merch, and according to your past experience with Planet Duck products, it was sure to be soft and super comfy. You were very much looking forward to getting your hands on some of his new merch.

He'd brought up sending some to you, one of the previously mentioned perks of being his friend, but you politely declined. Much to his surprise. He'd asked why and you'd simply stated that "It was fine," and perhaps it came off as a bit rude. A 'no thanks' to his merch that you hadn't even seen.

But you had plans of your own, you wanted to acquire said merch on your own, and support him financially in the process. He didn't have to know that though, so with a small 'Oh' from him as his response, you swiftly changed topic of conversation.

Now here you sat, watching the stream as Quackity explained what he'd be doing with his friend John Smith. Riding go-karts around what looked like a storage unit. You couldn't help but worry as you watched them zoom around, occasionally getting close to crashing, and eventually doing just that.

The stream itself was rather fun to watch, but you kept your debit card beside you. This was in case he decided to drop the merch announcement out of nowhere. And that was exactly what he did. Another perk of being his friend was you grew a 6th sense for these type of things. Always had a feeling for what was about to happen when it came to Quackity.

You watched as the chat freaked out, watched as the notification from Planet Duck went out, notifying everybody that the merch had been released. You quickly typed into your computer, and the internet seemed to be taking its time to redirect you to Quackity's merch site.

After some time, it finally loaded and you began to look at all the options. The merch was wonderful, Quackity had been hyping it up to you (you'd asked for no reveals, wanting to wait like everyone else) and he had been absolutely right.

Most of the designs were new, except for the iconic Planet Duck logo, and were all very cute. You had Quackity's stream playing in the background as you maneuvered your way around the site, finally deciding on which merch you'd be buying.

As you went to purchase, a red sign alerted you that there was no shipping to your location. To which you quickly raised an eyebrow, panic starting to rush through you. Maybe you should've accepted his offer.

After refreshing multiple times and watching the Twitter timeline freak out as well over the inability to ship to several locations, it finally seemed to work, and the payment finally went through. A big "Thank you for your purchase" appearing onto the screen.

You let out a sigh of relief, clicking back onto the tab where the stream was, a small smile on your face. You'd actually managed to get it on your own. It was nerve-racking, when it seemed like you wouldn't be able to get the shipping to work, when it seemed like it'd sell out before you had the chance to buy some.

Now you finally understood what it felt like, the stress of getting your hands on merch before it sold out. It'd been an exhilerating experience.

You relaxed into your seat as Quackity's laugh filled the room. He was recreating bits from Fast and Furious, and zooming all over the place. You watched with a fond smile as he drove around, throwing random Spanish profanities at John Smith here and there.

The funky heart glasses he had on did nothing to ease the warmth that was spreading through your chest at the sight of him. You were suffering due to your confusing feelings towards your close friend, but nobody knew, or at least that is what you told yourself.

You tried to focus on something else, something that wasn't solely him. The go-karts were going pretty fast, and you remembered the scene they were recreating from the movie. Whichever random thought came to mind, you'd focus on it instead, too scared to let your thoughts wander elsewhere.

When it came to and end, you were conflicted. You were glad your heart would be able to catch a break, but you also missed him almost immediately. Sickening, really.

You took some time to reflect on what you'd done so far. Cleaned, ate your meals, worked on some editing, got some Quackity merch, and enjoyed a fun stream. It was rather productive, to say the least.

But there was still some time left in the day, and you figured you'd put the energy coursing through your body to use.

Taking a seat at your desk, you turned your monitor on before opening the twitch app. An alt stream would be perfect right now. After going live and sending out a tweet letting your followers know you were live, you patiently waited for the viewers to start coming in.

Considering this was an alt stream, you figured you'd play some random game and just chat for a bit before heading to bed. As the viewers came in, you gave your greetings before opening a tab for roblox, getting on a random server to play an obby game as you talked to chat.

There was a content smile on your face as you asked chat how their day had been, how they were feeling, your little character jumping around and passing through the beginner levels on the obby game.

"I'm actually in a really good mood, chat. My day has been going so well." You began, glancing at chat here and there, smile growing at the memory of the adventures acquiring Quackity merch.

After the chat was flooded with questions asking about what had happened, you indulged. "I was watching Quackity's stream earlier today, and it was so much fun!" The smile grew before softening as you focused on the obby. "I was also able to get some of his new merch."

The chat erupted into bits of 'friends supporting friends' to 'y/n in quackity merch???' and people yelling that they had been or weren't able to get merch.

Seeing the chat made you laugh, nodding your head a bit. "No because I was so nervous I wouldn't be able to get some-" you admitted, attention now focused solely on telling the viewers about your own experience.

"I was trying to purchase, and there was a line, and then it said it wouldn't ship to my location?? I was so worried I wouldn't be able to get some. But it finally worked. I'm excited for it to get here." You finished your small rant, a content smile on your lips.

Chat consisted of people agreeing with the technical difficulties occurring at the time of the merch drop, others saying they were too broke to buy anything. It felt nice, to see something from their perspective and also have shared an experience like this.

"Big Q actually offered to send me some, but I told him no because I wanted to get it myself.. Wanted to get it fair and square." You said as you refocused on the obby in front of you, fond smile on your face as you thought about how nice he was. He was willing to send all of his friends some of his merch, free of cost.

"Also wanted to give him my support by actually purchasing it, you know?" You added, resting your chin on the palm of your hand as it leaned against your desk. You took this time to read chat, which was exploding with what you thought was a combination of Quackity's username with yours, and 'bffs ur honor!!'.

You smiled at that, hands finally moving your character around. "Really, he has been such an amazing friend, extremely welcoming, always fun to be around. And just.. life is never dull when he's around. He's always been there for me when I needed it and well‐" A pause. "I'm glad I was able to support him in some way." You hummed softly as you finished up yet another small rant about Quackity.

At the realization that you'd been talking about him for far too long, and that he was not meant to be the focus of your alt stream, you cleared your throat and began focusing on the obby game once again.

You shifted the topic of conversation to the video you'd also been editing today, and that quickly took everyone's attention away from how affectionately and fondly you'd been speaking of your dear friend. Everyone was now excited about the new video.

Seeing how easily the chat's focus changed made you ease up a bit, and you were able to enjoy the rest of your stream playing random roblox games and discussing some stuff with chat. It lasted for a bit longer before you finally decided to end stream.

Some goodbyes and after stream officially ended, you found yourself on Twitter. Everything seemed pretty peaceful on the timeline, up until the trending page came up.

Your name was trending, along with 'QUACKITY IN CHAT' and the infamous combination of usernames. A monstrosity, really.

You heard yourself audibly gulp as you clicked on the trending topic 'quackity in chat'. Much to your dismay it was true. There was screenshots that showed Quackity was watching your stream. That meant that he'd heard you talking about him in that sickening tone. That tone that was unnecessarily sweet and fond.

You didn't know who was freaking out more, the so-called shippers, the timeline, or yourself. You gently bit at the inside of your cheek, scrolling and reading all the tweets of people trying to guess how Quackity must've felt while hearing all that. Others raising an eyebrow at how long you'd gone on about Quackity and how 'perfect' he was.

You'd fucked up, that was for sure, and it wasn't even intentional or fan service of any kind. It was an alt stream, it wasn't planned in any way, shape, or form. He'd been brought up, and you'd accidentally spilled all fond thoughts you held of him.

Your cursor hovered over a specific tweet that read, 'want someone to talk about me the way y/n talks about big q'. It was sweet, and perhaps made you smile just a little bit.

As you read it over in your head, a notification popped up on your screen, the discord notification ringing in your ears as you read who the message was from. Quackity.

You messed around with your mouse for a bit before finally closing the Twitter tab, and instead opting to open the unread message.

Quackity

hey (:

You stared at it for a bit, blinking in disbelief at how normal the message came across. Perhaps he'd tuned in during the last half of the stream. Perhaps he hadn't been able to watch while you rambled about him, and perhaps he hadn't been on Twitter either. One could hope.

y/n hi (:

It showed that he was typing almost immediately after, and you tried your best to calm your nerves.

Quackity call?

You felt yourself tense at the message. Maybe he wanted to let you down kindly. 'Hey! Saw your stream, and I just wanted to ask if you could chill the fuck out. That was kind of creepy. Maybe never speak of me ever again. Do not perceive me any longer, thanks!'

Something along those lines for sure. That's what probably awaited you if you said yes to this. But what exactly were you supposed to do instead?

y/n ofc

It only took a few seconds for the call to come through. Stalling wouldn't help, so you answered by the third ring.

He greeted you, and everything seemed normal. The calls were normal between you two, but you were just on edge due to twitter trending and the stream that took place less than an hour ago.

"How are you feeling, Quackity?" You asked with a small smile, today was a big day for him, and you were sure he'd enjoy talking about how fast the merch sold.

"I'm doing great. Really happy that the fans liked the designs and just.. we sold a lot. I'm happy." He restated the last bit, the smile was obvious in his voice. You didn't have to be seeing it to know. Another perk of being so close to him. You had a clear visual image of what he probably looked like right now. Cute smile plastered onto his equally cute face.

"I'm really happy for you, Big Q. You deserve all the success that is coming your way and more." You hummed softly. Everything you were saying, you meant wholeheartedly. There was silence for a bit before he finally spoke again.

"I watched your stream."

Fuck. There it was. You should've expected it but it still hit like a ton of bricks. You felt your mouth turn dry, could barely manage to get out the word, "Yeah?"

"Mhm." Straight to the point. There was a bit of silence, you were unsure of what to say. Why had he brought it up? It was bound to happen, but what was the reason behind bringing it up? To tease you, let you know he wasn't interested, or because roblox obbies are just so much fun?

"You didn't have to buy it, you know?" He finally said, breaking the silence.

"I wanted to." You reassured, "the merch is really pretty. Worth every penny."

"I could've sent you whichever you wanted." He stated bluntly. As if it was weird of you to have gone and bought it on your own.

"Thank you, but I wanted to buy it myself. Let me? Please?" Let me show my support this way, is what you meant to say. It came out softer than intended, and you could feel your heart beating against your ribs. You really needed to watch your tone around him.

"Of course." He responded, just as softly. He'd drive you crazy one of these days. They'd have to lock you up, and you'd never see the light of day again.

"Did you have fun riding the go-karts?" You asked, a small smile on your lips as you wandered back onto the Twitter tab, a clip of his stream now on display on the timeline.

He let out a small laugh, "I did. Did you enjoy watching it?" You nodded before responding, "Of course. Was concerning watching you crash into walls though."

He hummed softly in response, possibly contemplating what to say with how long he took before he spoke again.

"Did you really mean all the things you said on stream?"

Somehow, even with your own attempts to change topic, the focus was back on your stream and the things that had been said. You wouldn't be able to dig yourself out of the hole you'd dug.

It was entirely your fault, for even allowing yourself to consider him as anything but a great friend. It was your fault for taking the late night calls, the sweet tones, and messages the wrong way. Your interpretations were all wrong and now you'd have to sit here and apologize for practically outing yourself on stream. For letting the whole world know that you had romantic feelings for a good friend of yours. You'd probably made him so uncomfortable.

You felt yourself cringe slightly at his words, already gone quiet for far too long. You had to speak up, even if it lead to a good friendship ending a few minutes from now.

"Of course I did. You're great, Alex." The use of his name was meant to assure him you meant it wholeheartedly. It made the moment feel more intimate, too. Much to your own dismay, yet again. You couldn't help it.

The possibility that your friendship with him could come to an end real soon made you act on your feelings. It left you unhinged. If it was all going to end here, maybe you'd allow yourself to act on impulse. End it with a bang.

"Thank you, really. I know I probably wasn't meant to hear all that, but it was really nice. Made me feel nice as well. And just, seeing that you didn't accept the merch from me because you wanted to support me directly.. thank you."

His voice was soft, felt like warm honey to your taste buds. You could almost hear your heart melting inside your chest, could feel it dripping down and touching your diaphragm, oozing into every single crevice in your body. You'd never understand how he had such effects on you. How he was able to make you so fond of him.

"I meant every single word. You deserve that and so much more." You reassured yet again, a small smile on your lips. You heard him let out a small chuckle, which made you laugh as well.

Moments later, he had turned his camera on, wanting to show you all the merch. You'd asked for him to put it on, since you were a 'visual learner' and had to see it on him in order to fully understand what it looked like. He had playfully rolled his eyes, but hadn't really argued against it.

So there you were, watching as he changed from hoodie to hoodie, moving out of frame to change into the shirts. You could feel your heart thumping harshly against your rib cage at the sight of him. Some looked bigger on him, some looked just right. They all looked wonderful, and super comfy. Perhaps that was simply because they were on him, and he looked so comfy.

He looked like he could give the best hugs.

"You really think so?" His voice came out a bit sheepish, and the light pink that dusted his cheeks was becoming more and more evident. Huh?

"What?" You said, a dumb look on your face as you tried connecting the dots.

"That I could give the best hugs." He stated slowly, as if he was testing how it sounded before adding, "Do you really think that?"

Had you really said that out loud? Fuck. It took acting on impulse to a whole other level. This wasn't something you two usually did, but I guess it was okay since everything might be ending soon. Ballsy moves.

"Yeah. You make the merch look so cozy." Your throat felt dry, eyes glued to his face, wanting to catch every single second of his reaction. Wanting to see each movement of his facial muscles, to find out what it could possibly entail. "Makes me wonder what your hugs feel like." You admitted.

Your eyes scanned the entirety of his face, perking up slightly at the sight of his face flushing, leaving him with the softest tint of pink to spread across his cheeks, almost matching his pretty lips. What the hell did that even mean?

"Maybe you won't have to wonder for too long. With guidelines being lifted and all." The line. Blurred at that very moment, for sure. His eyes were glued to you as well, which only made you hesitate every single movement you could think of doing at that moment.

"And in the meantime? What am I supposed to do?" Risky. Crossing lines, jumping over hurdles. This all had to be against friend rules or something. You could feel your sanity decreasing each second this call went on. But he wasn't stopping any of this either.

"I could send you a hoodie." The sentence brought you out of your Quackity-induced haze, making you quickly shake your head. What? Before you could protest or ask what the hell that was supposed to mean, he explained.

"My hoodie. Y'know. Mine. One I wear. You can give it back when we meet up, perhaps."

Your mouth went dry again, shocked at the domestic feeling it gave. He was suggesting he send one of his hoodies. It would smell like him. It was the closest thing to giving him an actual hug. It would be paradise.

"You'd really do that?" You asked, still in disbelief, but he quickly nodded his head. "Oh." You said softly, before a smile appeared on your face. "I would like that, then."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"I'll send it then." He hummed, smile spreading on his lips as well. Everything going on was making you feel dizzy. It felt so surreal.

You'd mentally prepared yourself for the worst, but instead were met with a flirtatious Quackity. He'd said sweet things to you before, but you never allowed yourself to take it seriously, not wanting to get your hopes up. And it never went to this extent.

It seemed he realized what just went down, a loud laugh escaping his lips. "Holy shit. You're gonna have one of my hoodies soon."

"I am." You chimed in, smile on your lips as well.

"And you'll wear it around." He added.

"I will."

"You'll look good, as always."

You could feel the heat rush to your face. What was going on? Was this real, or just a very cruel dream? Alex Quackity was fucking flirting with you.

"Are you flirting with me?" Bewildered tone, raised eyebrows. Your brain couldn't even begin to progress what was being said.

"What the fuck does it look like I've been doing?"

"Have you really?" Warmth spread across your chest at how blunt he was being. The line was gone. It'd been erased, never to be seen again. There was no shame in him. Admitting he was flirting with his whole chest.

"I have. Why are you so surprised though? I've subtly flirted with you before.. and I mean, were you not confessing your undying love to me on stream?" He raised a brow, feigned confusion on his face. He was teasing. You let out a groan, covering your face with your hands as he let out a laugh.

Surreal. He confessed to having flirted with you in the past. So you weren't delusional, nice to know. "Are you done?" You asked, face still covered by your hand in shame.

"I saw a tweet that was saying they felt like third wheels since I was in chat, and you were just going on about everything you liked about me." You kept your face covered. He was not stopping. Now he was the unhinged one.

He was visibly scrolling through the timeline at this point. "Oh, and one saying they want what we have. What do we have?"

You finally uncovered your face. "I don't know. Whatever the fuck this is, I guess?"

"Well, what is this?"

"Mm... whatever you want it to be." You finally answered, and there was a surprised look plastered on his face at that.

"Whatever I want?"

"Yeah." You paused. Would he regret this after he got out of this haze? What if it had just been flirting for fun? But he wouldn't play with your feelings like this, would he?

Alex Quackity was perfect though, and perhaps he had a sixth sense about when stuff was wrong with you, because he caught on to your hesitation.

"Hey." He called out softly. The teasing, flirtatious tone was gone, now replaced by the softer tone reserved for late night calls, or when everybody else in the vc had left and it was just you two.

You look at where his face was on your monitor, relaxing a bit simply by his tone and the soft gaze he held on you.

"I know everything sort of progressed pretty fast tonight.. but your stream really helped me realize a few things. I do like you, y/n. Not fucking around or anything." He said it in a firm tone, one that told you he wasn't messing around, but still felt oh so intimate.

Everything he was saying was exactly what you wanted and needed to hear. Reassurance that your feelings weren't unrequited. You couldn't believe your rambling on stream had lead you guys here.

"I like you, too. If that wasn't obvious already." You mumbled out, eyes averting before glancing to see his reaction. He had the biggest, cutest, grin on his face. Charming, and extremely contagious. You couldn't help but smile back.

Holy shit.

"Is this real?" You asked out loud, smile never leaving your face.

"It is. All thanks to your ranting on stream. How cool is that?"

You couldn't help but still feel rather embarrassed that he'd heard all of it, but it had brought you two here. All embarrassment was worth it. Especially if it meant it opened up a whole new world of possibilities for you two.

"Very cool." You mumbled, before a smile appeared on your lips. Today really couldn't have gone any better.

[myveryownfanfiction]

18+ MINORS AND THOSE WITHOUT AGE IN BIO DNI

YOU WILL BE BLOCKED

requested by @ghostlypie

Request: if it's not too early for Halloween prompts could you do movie marathon for Norman and Goblin? Any horror franchise is fine I've pretty much seen them all and am desensitized to them now, sadly

Warning: alien spoilers, horror movies, Goblin being a little shit

AN: Halloween requests are open btw! It’s the pinned post on this page. BTW there’s a point of view shift so you can see what the conversation between Norman and the Goblin is.

“Norman! Come on! If we wait any longer we won’t be able to do the full franchise!” There was some shuffling from the direction of the kitchen before some loud beeping. Shaking my head and fighting a laugh, I ventured into the room. “Need any help there dear?”

“I may have burned the popcorn.” Norman said as he bent down to look at the microwave where a new bag of popcorn was spinning. “I did exactly what you told me to do and it still didn’t work.” He looked over his shoulder at me. I bit my lip to stop myself from laughing. “I guess I’m not cut out for this after all.” I wrapped my arms around his waist and leaned over his back to kiss his cheek.

“It’s fine. I’m sure with a little help you’ll have it this time.” Norman nodded and put a hand over mine on his stomach. We listened to the popping for a bit before I pointed at the microwave. “Stop it now.” He pushed the stop button and pulled out the bag. I let go of him as I grabbed the bowl and slid it over to him.

“Alright. Food and drinks are all set. Movie set up?” I nodded as I took his hand and led him back to the living room. “What are we watching again?” Sitting down, Norman’s arm settled over my shoulders and I leaned against his.

“The ‘Alien’ franchise. It’s a mix of sci-fi and horror. A couple jumpscares. But my favorite out of all of them.” Norman kissed my head as I started the movie. Everything was quiet as the movie progressed. I could feel Norman tense up as the face huggers made an appearance. I turned my head to look at him. He was hyper focused on the film and had a semi glazed over look in his eyes. I gently nudged him, making him jump slightly. “You alright?”

“Yeah.” His voice cracked a bit prompting him to clear his throat. “I’m fine. Really.” He kissed my temple and I settled in to wrap my arm across his stomach.

“We can switch to something else if you want. I don’t mind.” I kissed his neck as he settled more into the sofa. He shook his head and motioned to the tv. I squeezed his waist before turning my attention back to the movie. I tightened my grip on him as the chest burster caused him to nearly jump out of his seat. “Norman.” I paused the movie and sat up, taking his face in my hands. “If it’s too much I’ll change it. Horror movies aren’t for everyone. Trust me I know.” He shook his head again.

“I’m fine. I just didn’t expect any of this.” He waved his head at the screen. “Don’t stop just on my account.” Reluctantly, I started the movie up again and settled against him. Norman tightened his grip on me almost immediately.

‘Look at you Osborn.’ Norman swallowed thickly as the voice in his head made its presence known. ‘Too weak to make it through a stupid cheesy movie. Let me take over. At least you’ll stop jumping at every little scare. (Y/N) will appreciate it more.’ Norman stood up, making me slip out of his grip.

“I have to go to the bathroom.” He leaned down and kissed my head. “I’ll be right back.” I nodded as he left the room and I paused the movie. The door closed and I heard him talking to himself. Creeping up to the door, I leaned against the wall to listen. I knew it was wrong to listen in on his conversation but based on how one sided it is, I figured he was talking to the Goblin.

**************Norman’s POV****************

“You will not take over. It’s the one time a year (Y/N) finds joy in and I want to share that with them.” My hands hit the counter so hard I felt them sting. “I don’t care if it scares me half to death. I will make it through the damn movie if it kills me. But I won’t have to worry about that because YOU won’t let that happen.” I waved my hand at the reflection staring back at me. An eyebrow arched and a sneer stared back at me.

‘Cute Osborn. Very cute.’ I grit my teeth and gripped the counter. ‘Watching a little movie is nothing compared to any of the other things the two of you could do. Let me out. You know I won’t hurt them. The two of us watch the movie. You get to not watch the scary little movie.’ I scowled at the reflection.

“Shut up!” I hit the counter again. My palm was turning red with the amount of times I was hitting it. “Shut up! I will finish that movie. And you,” I poked the mirror and watched as the reflection matched my own. “Will stay out of this. Including what I think is best for this relationship. And you are not it.” Running my hand down my face, I turned around and opened the door.

****************normal POV*******************

“(Y/N).” Norman said as he walked into the hall. I slid my arms around his waist. I leaned my head against him and squeezed. His arms came around me hesitantly.

“It’s ok Norman. We don’t have to watch the movie anymore. We’ll find something else.” He shook his head and pushed me away gently.

“No.” Taking my hand and leading me back to the couch, Norman sat me down and crouched down in front of me. His eyes shown as he looked up at me. A nervous smile was on his face. “You love these and I want to spend the time with you. I don’t care if I’m scared. I know you’ll be there to keep me safe. You’ll keep me grounded with your arm around me. As long as I’m with you, I’ll be alright.” He leaned up and kissed me. Sitting back down, Norman pulled me against him. With another kiss, he started the movie and held me against him tightly.