#everything else about him is the biggest deal breaker of all time

[andi-o-geyser]

Okay but can we be honest for a second here, because the idea that this fuck of an elf

EVER got game is literally insane. Like?? Sir how did you convince any woman to sleep with you because I would literally rather die. Full offence intended; you’ve got a face and personality like a doormat but if that doormat was racist and elitist and yelled at his kids.

[frankenwolf1564]

Transformers ONE Optimus Prime and Megatron: ONE shall stand, ONE shall fall

Trying another little something this week, kind of a blend between a photo gallery and a full review. Not as in depth or with as much background as a full review but more complex than my notes on a gallery. Hasbro Deluxes are like… the default transformer toy? So there’s usually nothing exceptional to say about what the actual figure can do. “It has a waist swivel, it has a bicep swivel, it has an ankle tilt.” Standards have risen substantially over the past, like, decade, especially post Siege, so while there are standouts, the context of a toy will usually be a meatier discussion. I’ll still mention accessories and stuff but I’m not going over every point of articulation.

Starting with Optimus, he’s a fine little lad! He’s on the smaller end of the deluxe scale, not quite mini-bot, but close. That might be a bit small for some people’s taste, but it does leave him as the perfect size to work as cogged Orion Pax, especially when stood next to the Studio Series Optimus. It helps that most of the elements that distinctly denote him as “Optimus” are his accessories. The smokestacks can unpeg, the axe is completely optional, and the matrix isn’t even visible tucked away behind his thinner, opaque chest window. Nearly everything else that feels like Prime is just from the two forms looking fairly similar. The biggest thing that’s baked in is his face, which is molded with the classic mouth plate. Given the scale and some of the styling at play, he works wonderfully as the Autobot Leaders younger self. I’d even be willing to look past the SS’ weird color choices and get him too if it weren’t for something we’ll get into later.

Rounding out Orion, he’s a little lacking in articulation thanks to his slightly lower price point, with no ankle tilt and slight clearance issues in his arms, but you can still get him into a wide range of poses, no problem. It might just take a little more balancing. I love how the fingers are sculpted into the axe. It’s close to how it works in the film and is just fucking cool, innit? Optimus feels incomplete without an Ion Blaster but it’s not a deal breaker. You can use the smokestacks as guns if you really want anyhow, though they are a bit dinky. The axe tucks away neatly on his back, and the matrix is as nicely sculpted as ever. I like the more Prime styled handles, though they are mostly just to let him hold it.

His truck mode is cute. It rolls fine and does the job. I said Deluxes don’t have much to talk about when it comes to what they can do.

Moving on to Megatron, he’s similarly splendid! Like SS ONE Prime his colors are a bit off, having used an off grey compared to the movies shiny silver, but it’s much more at home on Megatron, and it doesn’t look like it’s just yellowing, either. The rest of him looks great anyhow! He’s well sculpted and the muted red pairs nicely. It’s a great rendition of the character but… that fusion cannon is seriously hurting selling him as Megatron. The tri-barreld cannon didn’t have quite as much screen time, but it is a huge visual distinction that clearly sets him apart from just being D-16. The sculpting and such are absolutely that of his final form with the harsher angles, but like Orion and Optimus there isn’t a massive visual shift between the two forms and the cannon isn’t doing him any favors.

He shares many points of articulation with Optimus, with a few improvements and one or two downgrades. He gains a second hinge in his elbows, his wrists swivel, his ankles tilt and his feet can rock, but he can. Not look up. Like at all. His head swivels just fine, and he can look down, thanks to the transformation, but that one thing really hinders what you can do with him. You’re forced to stick with more static poses unless you want him looking at the ground all the time. Or at least. I was.

The tank mode is fun! There’s also more to talk about here so- Nothing’s coming undone once it’s all pegged together and it’s a dead ringer for what we see in the film. It’s definitely one of my favorite tank Megatrons in recent years and in general. The turret is just “alright” though. The swivel is located above the hinge so it’s hard to point it up in any one direction other than straight forward and have it look natural. It also unpegs a tad easily…

Megatron has a couple things that could have used a little more work, but they’d probably require bumping him up a size class to get more parts. Things like the head, maybe his shoulders and hips, a few minor bits that we’ve seen done better elsewhere. He could have easily gotten the triple barrel cannon as well. I really like him at this size though? I wouldn’t want him any bigger, and none of those things are a deal breaker. All of this comes with zero kibble, too. Honestly my biggest complaint is that there isn’t a mainline Deluxe version of him. I’d have gladly gotten both Orion Pax and D-16 and Optimus Prime and Megatron, but they didn’t release a Prime Changers D-16. I have no reason to also get the SS Optimus, as I’m happy with the Prime Changers and that doesn’t have a direct Decepticon counterpart, so the whole set would forever be incomplete. Hasbro I want to give you my money please-

[eirian-houpe]

Asking game: 12, 21, 39, 63, 64 and 67 ;-)

Thank you for the ask, my friend - here are my answers:

12. how does receiving or not receiving feedback/support impact you? Well now, if you look back on my blog here (or anywhere else if you happen to know where they are) you will already know that I'm a loud and obnoxious advocate for reader engagement. That's primarily because... well actually maybe what I was about to say was not the whole truth. So I'll start over.

I'm a teacher. More than that, I'm a special education teacher, and I know how important and motivating feedback and support can be for my students, and so I'd be lying if I said it didn't affect me at all. The truth is that more than ever the older I get, (and the less time I have to spend on the things I like to do for leisure and enjoyment), the more motivation I have to continue a project comes from knowing that others are enjoying reading what I write, or looking at the things I make - or are at least reading it, even if they're ambivalent. I know that I'm not the only writer in any number of fandoms that feel the same. This is also the reason that if someone comments on a fic, I'll always try to answer it, because writers engaging with the readers is also important. It's a transactional process in that respect.

21. Would you ever collaborate with another writer for a story? I have done it a few times in the past, once with great success, but unfortunately most often time not, though I think that depended more on the personality of the other writer than the actual process, so I think my answer would be, and would have to be, it depends. It's a matter of trust, I think, and where it was a great success, I trusted the other writers implicitly.

39. Share a snippet from a WIP. Thank you for asking. Here is a little snipped from the next chapter of Laer o Faen. It isn't much, but you are welcome to it.

It was a strange dichotomy. The building of the elven home around him set against the tearing down of everything Elvenkind held dear barely a breath away across the Bruinen. The rushing of the river between at once soothing, and unnerving each in its turn. It was night that brought the respite from the constant worry, albeit but a blink of it, for he knew the gathered orcs would not try to ford the Loudwater, as swollen as it was by recent rains.

63. Something you hate to see in smut. Oooh, tough room. Um... wow, um.... I guess the biggest thing I hate to see in smut, the one thing that has me cringing is when a writer uses bizarre euphemisms for body parts. I mean, I get it, not everyone is comfortable with, (or confident enough to) use some of the words most commonly used for genitalia, but excessive beating around the bush (no puns intended), can be a little tiresome. I guess as I've gotten older using and reading those words don't bother me so much any more. I do still dislike the use of the four letter word beginning with c and ending with t used to reference the female sex. It's not a deal breaker, but yeah, I think it still carries a negative connotation for me.

64. Something you love to see in smut. Attention given to all of the senses, and a maintenance of viewpoint character. Nothing worse than headhopping in the middle of rip roaring sex to make a reader's head spin.

67. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas? More often than not, I have a hard time with prompts, but by the same token many, if not most of my fics (and some of my best) have come from prompts or challenges - usually from @peacehopeandrats when they say something like, "You know, I read this book and it would be perfect to Rumbelle." Then I go and read the book and they're right, and then my brain can't stop trying to Rumbelle the story. That's how The Library Beneath the Clock Tower came about, among others.

Thank you so much for the questions. I hope you enjoy the answers.

[deaddoveadventures]

⋆ NAME?: Dove / Ev

⋆ PRONOUNS?: he/him but I'm not outed irl.

⋆ MOST ACTIVE MUSE(S)?: Curumë but tbh also Raistlin but I am too nervous about getting him wrong and thus shy away from writing more for him

⋆ RP PET PEEVES?: Roleplay Answers that don't have any hooks in them and thus don't drive the story forward. Give me something active to work with, there are only so many times I can come up with everything on my own. Don't just make your character react, make them act! (Or add Environmental and Atmospheric cues that my Character can react to)

⋆ EXPERIENCE / HOW MANY YEARS?: I lost count. I've been rping since I was 11 and I am now over 30.

⋆ FLUFF, ANGST, OR SMUT?: I am an Angst whore! But I want Fluff in between to make the Angst hit harder and to actually build character relationships. Depends on the muse, however. I also love Whump. I don't care much about smut, and I suck at writing it. But if it fits into the story I will write it.

⋆ PLOTS OR MEMES?: Both! Sometimes Memes can be really good Ice breakers. And plot can come second to see where it should go! Or sometimes you want / need to plot first because else interaction might be difficult. I guess the mix does it.

⋆ LONG OR SHORT REPLIES?: Length is not as important as content. You can give me 3 pages of just describing one single object and it will do less than 2 paragraphs of describing what your character does, says, feels, and what the mood of the room is, and then I can actually work with it! My own replies vary as well. I suffer from always feeling like I need to match my partner or feeling that I write too little, though, for myself.

⋆ TIME TO WRITE?: The night, after midnight. Sadly I can't always do it because of work.

⋆ ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S)?: So in all honesty, yes and no. For both of them. Curumë specifically actually incorporates a lot of my personality traits and traumas. He (originally) was based on my Tav in BG3. BG3 was my coping game while dealing with the aftermath of an extremely toxic relationship and breakup. BG3 turned out to be about the abuse cycle in its essence and thus made me obsessed. And I put a lot of needs and wants and wishes of what I should have done into Curumë. The theme of Freedom and the fight against being controlled is a huge part that both haunt/ed me (and him). It also made me vibe hardcore with Astarion, but I shy away from writing him because it feels like a competition. And also Curumë is more personal, more catered to what I personally experienced.

I write him like an Asshole because that is the part that is the opposite of me. But it is - sometimes - what I wish I had done, instead of people pleasing and being a "I can Fix him" person. Anyway, this got a bit personal I am sorry.

As for Raistlin sadly he is also a lot like me. But also not. I actually want to rp and write for him because he is so relatable. I started out reading the books dealing with his character development specifically and it was scary how someone could put some of my own experiences as a (constantly rejected) disabled person with a nondisabled sibling into one character so well. I'd say Raistlin is someone I could have become if I hadn't gone to therapy and decided to deal with my inner demons. The biggest difference between him and me though is the hunger for power, because I don't have that. I do have a need for adoration though, ngl.

Tagged by: @windwithinmyveins thank you so much!

Tagging: @astralfox0893 @springvaletales

Bonus, my desk:

As you can see, I suck at keeping my place tidy. Also, yes, the wig is there because I am working on a Raistlin Cosplay irl.

[chemicalpink]

・❥・Opinions on dating, marriage, and family ・❥・ | Tarot + Astrodice + Astrology | Jeon Jungkook

Disclaimer: This reading is based on my experience and knowledge of astrology, it is not meant to be the absolute truth, as BTS are real people, and astrology can only capture so much about multidimensional humans that have had past experiences and cultural approaches amongst other things, it does not have to resonate with you since this is in no way related to anyone reading it (unless you are a member of BTS in which case, get out of here lol ) This is just for entertainment purposes. Remember that tarot as a form of divination only allows us to read current energy and as time advances it becomes less accurate, so it basically reads up to a 6 months period of time

A/N: This sure was long and I keep getting caught up with school but the Namkook Birthday Project shall go on.

masterlist. tarot masterlist. astrology masterlist.

We’ll look into some asteroids for this analysis, as we have talked about his Venus before. By now I just live to see what else JK’s idealisation of love will strike us with.

With an Aries 7th House, there’s a need of his to delegate the relationship to his partner, which is why to him, it’s vital that they both share principles and likings, fitness is a deal-breaker, if you’re not into sports/ adrenaline, it’s most definitely a deal-breaker for him. Much like Joon, JK’s idea of a relationship entails having a structure where they both help each other stand up for themselves, although his preferences lean more towards a feisty partner, unlike Namjoon. Independence is probably the biggest theme here, to JK, a relationships isn’t really about mushy love always attached by the hip, more than it is about two people living their own lives and allowing themselves to share paths, surprising, given what we’ve heard before from this brat. Much like his Virgo tendencies, Jungkook has a whole list of things on just how precise things should be when he decides to either get in a relationship or have a family of his own, as told by his Capricorn 4th House, he does have some healing to do in that department, which is probably why he seems into fairytale-like ideals of love, but he doesn't know where reality stands. He’s willing to negotiate relationships, but if you were ever to come near to one of his vital boundaries, he would cut things off just like that.

Jungkook has a Leo Juno, Juno as the one in charge of long term commitment and relationships and everything that comes with them, indicates that JK’s idea of being in a relationship, while being independent, involves a lot and I mean a lot of physical contact, kissing, hand holding, cuddling… all while he also gets to show off his partner every chance he gets. His Gemini Eros, (I’m keeping it PG) is all about communication, while he isn’t big on it, he thinks of relationships as him getting a chance to listen to his partner and learning a lot, he’s one to be pleased by having an intellectual partner from which he can always learn new things and perhaps fall in love just a little bit deeper. His Libra Psyche comes in to tell us just how much of a brat he is and what I’ve talked about so much before. Jungkook is in love with the idea of love not so much the reality of it. For him, relationships are a thing inside his mind, longing to experience the same things he sees on movies or reads on books, but when the situation gets prompted to him, all of a sudden it is too much and he won’t be having any of it, thanks.

So apparently, JK has a certain reluctance to venture in dating, mostly due to the fact that he tends to long over past relationships, although he is indeed a very strict lover, there’s always this sense of longing, of feeling like he will never get what he wants that is very present in his mindset [6oC rx] The unachievable expectations are a continuing theme for him, and it’s hard to pass on the message, but he is stuck in a cycle of being in love with love yet when love shows up on his doorstep, he has to triple check it is exactly as he pictured it, and when it isn’t he just sort of banishes it away. He does tend to go into it headfirst, without much thinking, which makes him even more snarky about it [knight oW rx] There’s also this recurrent thing, that although to him seems like a necessity, the reality is much different, he tends to just let things flow which ends up being his partner having to compensate the out of balance relationship [3oW rx]

He’s got a Sagittarius Uranus on 10th from the dice, which comes to highlight what we’ve been shown before, independence and individuality is the most important thing for him, even though it’s a bit tricky from the way his thoughts are all over the place on the topic, he’s quite a visionary on love, he knows what he wants, even though the expectations are a bit off and much too high up, all of that while having this idea of a relationship bringing him a much larger spotlight of sorts where he could show off that he didn’t need to lower his standards.

Deck Used: Prisma Vision Tarot

[luimagines]

You know, since the Zelda games are in a kind of medieval era, courting must be a thing in all of the Link's time, more in Hyrule and Legend's era as they are the "first" ones (I know it is Sky, but the people from the sky don't strike me as being very stern in following the protocol of courting, contrary to their earthen people) and are more of ye olde time.

(Small warning as this was view with a female reader in mind, but I won't be making use of any type of pronoun besides neutral)

Hyrule is just a humble traveller, he doesn't have lands or riches to his name, not even a house for the both of you to settle. On top of that, his Hyrule is very dangerous and the menace of Ganon or any other evil being is always a possibility, to the point of making him lose sleep.

He lives on the go, always going to new lands and learning new cultures, which in result has let him admire all type of customs, clothing and jewels he would have never imagined if he didn't see it for himself. He had in several occasions pictured you with such objects, maybe as a gift for your wedding, the glint of the accessories would seem dull compared to the shine of your smile, the flowing fabrics swaying as the both of you dance together and the celebration of your marriage goes well into the night.

If only he had the money to pay for your price, but there's also the problem of talking with your parents, which might be impossible if you ask him due to the current situation. In the end, everything must remain a dream, he doesn't want to give you a poor life nor an early departure if he ever gets ambushed by enemies that for once proved to be more than what he can handle, or in the case of only him perishing, you won't have nothing and will be alone in a dangerous, unknown land as a dowry is something he will never be able to settle, he doesn't have goods to give to you, only what he had in his bag and person.

Legend have almost the same worries as Hyrule, but they are founded by the fear of losing you. He can make enough money for the two of you, maybe you couldn't live a posh life, but sufficient to live comfortable to the rest of both of your days. But no amount of money could stop losing his only family, he doesn't need a repetition of that event but this time with the family born by your union, something made by the two of you with love.

He also feels a type of social pressure; even if he managed to save Zelda and clear his name, there have been times in which Legend caught the stare of people looking at him over their shoulders, judging him. They still believe him a kidnapper, a traitor, and his attitude does nothing to appease their opinions. He doesn't want you to be a subject of that hatred if he ever steps fowards with his desire of courting you.

Twilight's concern is about what you think of his life style. He is a simple guy; he grew up in a quite, self sufficient little town and wishes to live like that until the day of his death. Having a family with you in a little farm is his biggest desire, but he would settle with only being the two, growing old together and living a ton of happy moments.

In case of a modern reader, he's afraid you will find his life poor and boring, he have seen how the city people gets sick and annoyed really quick of the country life and he fears you will do the same. The country life isn't an easy one; you have to wake at the crack of sunrise and having nice things aren't necessary, but you come from an era far advanced than his so even if he can easily get the extra rupees for a gift for you, it won't be anything that you haven't seen or own before.

If he can't give you or make you experience good things, then why would you be with him? He would be devastated if he couldn't make you happy if you ever took a leap towards his open arms and he failed in delivering what you deserve.

--------

Idk! I just thought "well, since they are from a different world and raised in ancient times, then they would have certain views that the reader isn't aware and it will actually worry the guys a lot if they ever develop a crush on the reader.

I skipped Time and Four bc I never played/watched OoT and Four swords. Wild and Warrior strike me as the one who cares the least, wild doesn't even remember them and while warrior is aware and would have gladly partaked, fighting a war made him lower the importance of following such strict protocol. You can't do it if you are dead!

This is.... perfect?

Amazing?

So well thought out and well articulated that I'm speechless.

Four would also have his own courting system from his Hyrule but he's less concerned with a dowry or gifts. He can make gifts and he has a place, a stable job and he knows that he can take care of Reader and a family should the future present itself. He knows he has all those bases covered.

But would Reader like him?

Height is a deal breaker for some people and while he's never had someone to put his heart out on the line before, he's seen it happen to his neighbors and friends, and while he's not necessarily insecure about his height.... He wonders if Reader would ever even consider him an option.

Time though?

Also no land, no house and while he has a job, it's low paying because he doesn't need much as a bachelor.

He's not so concerned with dowry or protocol though. Mostly because he didn't grow up with that on his radar, even after he couldn't return to Kokiri Forest, no one explained it to him and he's never asked. He's noticed some of the typical things when he's in town and the younger boys begin courting with the one their hearts desire, so he knows gift giving, and special treatment.

So Time will be more concerned with catching Reader's attention and making sure that he can at least provide when he gets back home because he's never needed anything for him. But it won't just be him anymore would it?

But a dowry? What's that? I don't know her.

I know you probably didn't include Wind because he's currently the youngest but I do think Outset Island as a vague protocol that he's aware of.

It's not Dowry or Courting Specific.

But I do think that there's a specific order to do things. Like ATLA and betrothal necklaces because there's not much else to say Hey! I'm engaged!

So Outset might have a similar custom of gift given but I don't know what that would be.

Maybe a shell necklace or a certain fish you need to catch to show them you're interested.

All things he wouldn't be able to do outside of Outset of course

[sheepprophet]

/rp obv and /lh for the most part!

My thinking out loud for who Ranboo could trust with the enderwalk state, in no particular order:

A. Tommy. Probably one of the most obvious choices imo. He's proven to Ranboo specifically that he can be trusted to protect him in a similar situation (the trial about George's house being griefed where Tommy took the fall for him). I think Ranboo knows that Tommy can keep a secret. And Tommy isnt really on any sides at the moment - apart from his friendship with Tubbo which would probably his one loose end that could end up being a deal breaker for Ranboo. I legit think Tommy is objectively the best choice for this job (and i wanna see akward duo reunite as much as the next guy), but we gotta keep in mind who we're dealing with. Ranboo's likely not going to be think of Tommy as someone who's divorced himself from basically all conflict and is just trying to better himself. He's so paranoid about this exact issue, he's probably going to default to thinking Tommy is essentially just between sides right now. Plus, like I said, Ranboo didn't say he needs someone who "isnt on any side", he said he needs someone who's "detached". While Tommy definitely fills the former, he definitly doesn't fill the latter.

B. A lot of chat was suggesting Techno and/or Phil? Which?? My dudes??? No???? Yeah sure they probably wouldn't care, but Ranboo has made it pretty clear that he's really cautious about telling them things like this in fear that one day, they might care. Plus, when they say they don't care, they really mean it. To be honest, I dont think c!Techno or c!Phil are good people to be that vulnerable to? Mainly because this is something that Ranboo is going to need unprompted reassurance with and I dont really think either of them would think to do that? Plus, they're very much on a side, that being their own. When Ranboo says detached, I think he means really detached (or at least as much as humanly possible on this SMP).

C. Fundy. This one is odd because I could totally see it happening, but I can just as easily see it not. Ranboo and Fundy established a pretty strong bond throughout December, but after Doomsday it completely fell through for them both. They clearly still care about each other and that bond is definitely still there, but its been damaged and they've both been afraid to be the first to make an effort to mend it. I genuinely believe if they would just talk, they'd be back to normal in like 10 minutes. But they'd need to talk first and in this case I think Ranboo would be the one to start the conversation, which he's shown discomfort in doing before. However, if they could bridge this gap, l think Fundy would be a very good choice (as long as he could take it seriously). Obviously, Ranboo can trust Fundy on an emotional level and we know Fundy can keep a secret (almost too well) because of the whole A Spy's Diary situation. Fundy also said himself that he currently has no alliances on the smp, aside from probably Ranboo and Ranboo knows this. Additionally, Fundy is one of the only people, along with Puffy, and of course Dream, who have canonically seen him in his enderwalk state. (Tommy did notice him wandering around like he was in it once, but Ranboo hasn't acknowledged that time as canon, so idk). Anyway, I think Fundy would be a pretty solid choice if they can just get their shit together and finally make up.

D. Karl? I see where y'all are coming from with this one and listen, I would also love to see these to interact and bond over their respective memory issues, bookkeeping, and disrealization problems. But, I hate to break it to you that c!Ranboo literally has no clue about any of that. No one does. Karl hasn't told anybody about his ability to time travel and atm doesnt have any plans to. Granted, Ranboo could choose him for other reasons, but I highly doubt it, honestly?

E. Wilbur? I know what i just said, but Hear Me Out. He's not revived right now and we don't know when he will be or what he'll even be like when/if he is. But, a few things we can guarantee is that when/if he is he'll be one of the most detached people on the server (both politically and probably emotionally), he'd have no qualms with helping out Ranboo even if he does turn out to be some awful war criminal, and, based on his interactions with Ghostbur, I think Ranboo might be willing to trust him. And probably my biggest argument for why i like this crack theory: If Wilbur remembers all of the shit he did, that means he'll be one of the few people who would be able to relate to Ranboo. He knows what it's like to have Dream take advantage of your poor/deteriorating mental health and talk you into commiting acts of terrorism. Wilbur also would know what it's like to feel like you can't trust anyone, including yourself, and he could relate to Ranboo's disrealization he's been experiencing. Plus, I just think getting to see these two interact like this would be neat idk. Definitely not going to happen, but I thought I'd inculde the idea here!

F. Eret. Fuck dude, I really want Ranboo to go to Eret about this. Like first of all, Eret is functionally detached from everything right now (I mean that's why Dream has put them on the throne twice now). All Eret cares about is helping those who need it, which would include Ranboo. I also think Ranboo knows he can trust Eret and we all know Eret would be such a sweetheart about comforting the kid, while also understanding the seriousness of the situation and treating it as such. Something that I also thought was interesting was Ranboo emphasizing that it would be ideal if the person has "kept a secret before". Now, Fundy has also kept a big secret before (again, A Spy's Diary), but ya know who was the one other person who knew about Fundy's spy plan and kept the secret (which was someone else's) just as well? Eret. And of course, the reason Eret was the first person who came to mind for me: Eret betrayed L'manberg all that time ago and, obviously, had to keep it a secret and did with ease, even at a time when the writing couldn't protect it for them. Point is, Eret checks this box multiple times over and gets a gold star on it. On the note of Eret's betrayal, what I said about Wilbur knowing what it's like to be used by Dream to commit terrorism/war crimes, also applies to Eret. It's often forgotten that Eret was actually the first person to be used and manipulated by Dream. Eret wanted respect and power and when Dream found out, he promised it to them in the form of a flimsy title and fancy crown in exchange for turning on their friends, Eret took it. They then regretted it almost instantly. Point is, Eret can not only help Ranboo through this with the care and respect he requires, but can also do so by being able to relate to Ranboo on a personal level, which I think Ranboo would respond to. Eret is sort of the closest Ranboo could have to having someone represent what he's afraid he could become - someone who's seen as a filthy traitor and nothing more, never able to earn back the love and respect of their friends. But, Eret could show him that, with time and a lot of effort, he's worthy of forgivess just like they were. I also really want this for Eret. Let Eret be able to use the experience that they view as their biggest mistake, followed by months of paying for it, as a way to be able to help this kid that's grappling with some pretty heavy problems. It would be so healing for the both of them.

[mylifeisactuallyamess]

Epilogue

General Hux x Female Reader/Kylo Ren x Female Reader

A/N: This is it. The last time I will post about this story (unless I visit them in a one shot.) I am so sad but so grateful at the same time, this fic got a lovely following and I appreacite anyone who took the time to comment/like/reblog any or all chapters. This fic spawned from a Writer Wednesday prompt months ago, so thank you @autumnleaves1991-blog for posting that picture of the brick arch and pond all those weeks ago! Here we go!

Warnings: PTSD mentions, war mentions, none of them are ok.

Word Count: 2284

Read the Epilogue here on AO3

Masterlist

The air was crisp, carrying the tang of the salty sea and wrapping it around you, ruffling your dress. You shielded your eyes against the dipping sun, seeing the light refract off the water as it heaved below you, the sounds of the waves crashing into the cliffs boomed up to you creating a sound like thunder. The tide was high and that meant they’d be back any moment. You looked back at the cottage behind you, the white walls and the pretty flowers were picture perfect, it was everything you’d ever dreamed, the makeshift hangar sat to the side and it housed the X-Wing you had from your time with the Resistance. Next to it was another larger more recognisable ship, you had some visitors and you needed to prepare Armitage before he saw them.

A giggle carried on the breeze that swirled around you and your face softened into a smile, first you could only see your daughter's head on the path as they came up the steep hill, her long bright red hair caught in the wind, the long tresses flowing around her and glowing with the bright light of the sun. She was giggling, looking down as she plastered her hands all over your poor husband's face. You stifled a laugh as he pretended to stumble, or maybe he really did because she kept shoving her fingers in his eyes.

“Phasma! I can’t see!” You heard him cry followed by more peals of laughter as she continued her assault. “Oh look! It’s Mummy. Hold on!” She squealed as he began to run, holding her legs in place on his shoulders, so she bounced happily full of laughter and smiles until he came to a stop before you. His chest heaved and he let out a loud huff. “You’re getting a bit heavy, little one!”

“Shush Daddy, I am not.” You cocked an eyebrow making a mental note of how much she sounded like her father. Armitage leaned in and gave you a kiss on the lips.

“Who’s here?” He asked quietly.

“Well, it’s Poe, Finn, Rose, Mitaka and….” You paused, not sure if he wanted to hear his name or not.

“And?” He pressed.

“And Ben.” You saw the blank expression fall over his face and you inwardly sighed. “Look they’re not here to cause trouble, the war is over, it has been for a few years now.” You ran a hand through your daughter's hair as she clutched your leg. “We barely see anyone. It's nice for them to drop by.” He moved away, putting a hand in his pocket while using the other to run through his hair. Even after all this time he kept it in the same style, just a habit you guessed or maybe he’d just never experienced another style.

“There’s a reason we don’t see anyone,” he said stiffly. You dragged Phasma with you, coming to stand next to him.

“Armitage, do you forget how I was the one who discovered Finn and Rose. I brought them to you.”

“And I ordered them to be executed and Finn…” he glanced down at his daughter. His hand resting on top of yours in her hair as she gazed at him with big green eyes. You knew he wanted to say Finn killed Phasma, but you felt like pointing out the war was responsible for everything that had happened. All these people had been puppets for someone else, made to believe in something that ultimately influenced their actions and choices.

“It’s over now.” You needed him to acknowledge that, the war was over. You supposed it would have been harder for him than the rest, being brought up and beaten into a person who should always strive for glory and control. Finn managed to break free, even Ben but then he had a loving family for the first few years of his life. He had a taste of normality, as did Poe, Rose had her sister until the evacuation of D’Qar. But Hux had no one, except Phasma and Mitaka and even then he was their General, their leader. He was alone for so long you didn’t know how to get him to see they were all just people now. What they had all been through was horrific, you just knew for Armitage, it was harder to adjust. He didn’t say anything else and you crouched down to Phasma’s level.

“There are some very special people in our house to meet you including Uncle Mitaka.”

“Me kaka?” She screamed in glee, fisting her hands under her chin in joy before tearing off to the house. Hux watched her go, a strange expression on his face. You stood, taking his hand and holding it tight. You made him look at you, feeling the stubble on his cheeks which he let grow now. The red dusting covered his chin and cheeks making him look rugged and even more handsome.

“They wouldn’t have come if they were going to be rude or start a fight or accuse you of things that happened years ago. They are here to see us, as a family. If they can forgive Ben they can forgive you.”

“But Ben is clearly a new man now…” he started and you cut him off by putting a hand over his mouth.

“And look at you. No uniform, no hat, you have a daughter, Armitage, you live in a bloody cottage.” He sighed against your hand and you knew you had won this round.

You stepped away from the cliff edge tugging on his hand and he reluctantly came with you, dragging his feet slightly. You went through the back door Phasma had left open and shut out the dusk that was settling on the cliffs around the cottage. Voices plus your daughter's laughter came from the main living area and you squeezed Hux’s hand reassuringly before walking in. A chorus of greetings met you both and even though you’d said hello before you went round and hugged them all again, pleased to see Hux shaking hands with Poe and Finn. You held your breath when it came to Ben who was sitting in your biggest armchair with Phasma perched on his lap.

“Armitage,” Ben said and held out his hand. The moment stretched for longer than you liked but eventually your husband reached out and shook it. Everybody sighed with relief and you asked if anyone wanted a drink, taking Hux with you into the kitchen. He helped you prepare some drinks in silence, listening to laughter and banter from the others mingled with your daughter's cries of joy as someone was clearly tickling her. Hux carried the drinks and you handed them out, a pleased feeling began to fill your chest as Poe engaged him in conversation. Mitaka stoked the fire and a flare of heat blazed into the room making it more cosy.

“How has he been?” Dopheld asked you quietly.

“The nightmares seem to have eased, it helps that he has Phasma with him nearly all of the time,” you looked over seeing Armitage still in conversation with Poe, your daughter now nestled in his arms sucking her thumb as she gazed at the curly haired pilot. “She seems to know what he needs when he needs it.” You felt a hand on your shoulder and threw a smile at Finn. “Hey you, how’s the Trooper Rehoming going?” He shrugged.

“There were a few we managed to trace back to their families but the majority have made their own settlement out on Yavin 4. You should come visit sometime.” He offered.

“I’d like that but…” your gaze flickered to Armitage. “Maybe it will be just me and Phasma….” You trailed off making a face. “Maybe not,” you chuckled.

“You would all be welcome,” he reassured you before heading over to sit with Rose. Your gaze drifted to Ben who seemed captivated by the fire, but you recognised the signs. The clenching of his fists, the tightness in his jaw, the vase on your mantelpiece fell and shattered drawing everyone’s attention. The fire flared behind you and you looked up to see Hux clutching Phasma to him and backing away slowly. Poe went to approach Ben as the very walls of your house began to shake matching the quivering of your insides but you threw out a silent hand to stop the pilot. You didn’t say Ben’s name, not wanting to startle him instead you crouched before him, placing a calming hand over his forearm and his hazel gaze swung to you.

“Come on, I need you to look at my X-Wing. I think it has a faulty fuel line, Armitage says the circuit breakers are burnt out but we aren’t mechanics.” You could hear the house settling as you pulled his attention away from his thoughts. You didn’t wait for an answer, taking Ben’s hand and shooting a look at Hux. He wasn’t happy, you could see it in his face and the set of his shoulders but you’d rather Ben put his mind to good use than accidentally destroying your house. He had to duck slightly through the low doorways as he followed you outside. Your feet didn’t falter, you’d travelled this path so many times in the dark when you couldn’t sleep. Every time you’d calmed Armitage from a nightmare you had come in here, just to tinker to take your mind off everything. Sometimes it worked, other times you came in here and cried, releasing your pent up emotion alone.

“Here,” you gestured to the hangar and stepped aside. “Wreck it, tinker with it, just don’t ruin the inside of my house, please.” He nodded, moving to touch your tools on the bench gently with his finger tips.

“You come in here often.” It wasn’t a question.

“It is my place to spend time on my own and process everything that happened,” you confessed knowing you couldn’t hide anything from him. “I am coping better than Armitage.”

“Are you though?” He asked bluntly and you blinked. You thought you were, dealing with Phasma kept you occupied during the day, you stayed up late most nights keeping an eye on Armitage so you didn’t have much thought space until you knew he was ok.

“Yes, I am keeping myself busy.” Ben smirked at your reply.

“Looking after two other people does not mean you are coping.”

“Yeah well, someone’s got to do it.” You turned and walked back to the cottage. The conversation was still flowing in the living area but you walked past to go to the kitchen and maybe prepare some food. Armitage appeared within moments, he tried to hide his displeasure but you could read him like a book.

“How’s Phasma?” You asked.

“Asleep on Mitaka.” He replied and you nodded, opening the cupboards trying to find your guests something to eat but you didn’t realise your hands were shaking until Hux gently slid his over yours. “It’s ok,” he whispered, coming up behind you. “He will be gone soon.”

“I really wanted to be ok with him, I just want to be ok.” You looked up as Mitaka appeared at the kitchen door and you smiled at the way Phasma’s arms hung over his shoulder, her little face buried in his neck and he pointed to the stairs. “Just take her straight up, she’ll stay asleep when you lay her down.” He nodded and slowly made his way up the wooden steps. You quickly wiped your damp cheek but Poe then appeared and you felt Hux’s increasing frustration that he couldn’t comfort you in private.

“We’re going to head off in a bit, we need to drop Finn off at the settlement. Do you guys need anything? I need to swing this way on the back so I can grab some supplies?” You nodded enthusiastically, already rattling off a list, since the X-Wing refused to start, you were stuck with what you could find here and in the small local market.

“Ok wow, maybe I’ll get you some spare parts for that ship of yours, if you want I can bring BB8 next time?”

“No need.” Rumbled Ben as he stood in the doorway. “I fixed it, loose connection so it couldn’t connect to the engines.”

“Thank you Ben. Alright out go, too many massive men near my tiny kitchen,” you ushered them out, including Mitaka when he chose that moment to come down the stairs. Finn and Rose were already outside looking up at the stars as everyone filed out and the goodbyes started. Ben was last, enveloping you in a big hug with a quick knowing squeeze before he headed to the Falcon. Poe clapped Armitage on the shoulder promising he’d visit more often, Mitaka echoing his sentiment.

“Just be careful, all of you,” you called. They all waved as they disappeared up the ramp and you felt Armitage put his arm around your shoulders.

“As much as I disliked them all at one time, I’m glad they visited,” he said in a soft tone.

“I’m sorry, but seeing Ben slip like that….” You put a hand to your throat feeling the familiar constriction in your chest. “Just brought back memories,” you whispered.

“We’re all broken, one way or another.” You looked up at your husband. “But I wouldn’t want to try and repair myself with anyone else.”

“I love you Armitage.”

“And I love you and our quiet life and our daughter.” You leaned into him accepting the kiss before letting him lead you back inside the warmth of your cottage.

After all, war does not determine who is right. Only who is left.

[imasimpforshanks]

Hello <3 Can I ask for Angst alphabet with Coby ?~ thanks a lot <3

Angst Alphabet - Coby

a/n: BRUHHHH HIS WAS SO HARD TO DO BC HES SUCH A SWEETIE 😭😭😭😭😭💗 regardless, I hope you like it! x

ALSO - please note reader is a civilian and not a marine (but coby is still a marine). It was just easier for me to write it this way !!

A- Accident (would they blame themselves if you died in an accident?)

Coby wouldn’t exactly blame himself, but he would feel really weak. It would be lots of comments about his own worth and capabilities such as: “I’m still too weak” or I’m never going to be strong enough”. (kind of similar to Zoro in that sense).

B-Break up (How would they break up with you?)

He would try to be as honest and as upfront as possible, but he gets really anxious and just starts stumbling over his words ending every sentence with “ya know?”. In the end, he just uses every cliché in the book because he can’t remember or seem to find the ability to say what he really wanted to.

C-Crying (how would they make you cry?)

This dude is far too much of a sweetheart to ever make you cry. If you were to cry because of him, it’d be because of how much time the two of you have to be away from each other. He hates having to leave you because it’s always a lot of tears on both sides.

D-Death (how would they react to your death?)

He would be devasted. Crying in front of anyone and everyone he doesn’t care. Coby would also become really unmotivated and go through a little bit of an existential crisis like “What’s the point of this anymore?” “what am I even doing?”. Eventually he’d remember how much you believed in him, and how much good he could really do in the world – so, he’d keep going. For you.

E-Emotion (what is one emotion they would try to hide the most and how would they do it?)

Honestly, Coby is someone who is extremely open and expressive. He doesn’t (or maybe it’s more accurate to say he can’t) hide his emotions. That’s just not who he is. He expresses openly whatever emotion it is he is feeling.

F-Fight (do you two ever fight? How big are the fights? What do you fight about? Etc.)

He genuinely tries to avoid fighting with you at all costs. Nothing between the two of you ever escalates that far because Coby manages to talk the two of you out of whatever tension has been built.

G-Guilt (what is the biggest thing they feel guilty about?)

It’s not necessarily guilt, but Coby still feels as though he owes Luffy his life. Because of Luffy, Coby was able to become a marine. It’s because of Luffy that Coby continues to work as hard as he does. Most of what has happened in Coby’s life is all thanks to Luffy and because of that, he feels as though he has a debt he can never repay (even though all of this happened because luffy was just being luffy).

H-Heartbreak (what would cause them pain in the relationship? How would they deal during a break-up?)

Having to be away from you for long periods of time (obviously because he’s a marine) is really painful for the both of you. It can but quite a bit of strain on your relationship as long distance isn’t easy.

During a break-up, his mind would be all over the show. At work, he wouldn’t be able to focus properly which would cause many problems for not only himself, but others around him too.

I-Injured (how would they react if you are badly injured?)

Panic mode: activated. All his focus is shifted to you. He forgets about everything around him and is set on trying to get you help. He doesn’t even try to take down whoever, or whatever, caused your injury. You are his one and only priority in that moment.

J-Jealousy (what do they do if they are jealous?)

The sweetheart would feel so nervous. He’d keep to himself and try to avoid you for a while because he can’t stop thinking about how much better off you would be with literally anyone else.

K-Kill (would they kill for revenge?)

Coby is definitely not the type to kill for revenge. He hates all the killing and death that happens in the world. He’s a person who is all about trying to stop the cycle of hatred. so despite the anger, pain and hurt he would be feeling he would put all of that emotion aside, and settle it a different way.

L-Loss (what is their greatest loss?)

During Marineford when marines (and pirates) were dying left and right, Coby was shocked. It was far too much unnecessary death. Witnessing all that death was an emotional overload, but it did lead to one of the most pivotal moments of his life.

M-Mistake (what is the worst mistake they ever made with you?)

Unfortunately, it was something entirely out of his control. But one time he had to leave for a mission with the Marines in the middle of the night. He couldn’t tell you anything about it or why he was leaving. He just had to up and leave.

N-Nightmares (how often do they have them? What are they about? How do they deal with it?)

Sometimes Coby has nightmares about Marineford. The constant voices and cries of agony form an endless loop in his sleep, gradually getting louder and louder until he screams himself awake. After waking up in a panic he manages to calm his breathing. Then, Coby gives himself a pep talk “that is why you’re working so hard. To become strong enough to be fleet admiral so nothing like that will ever happen again.”

O-Outrage (how and why would they get mad at you?)

As with the fights, I don’t think Coby really gets mad at you. Probably over something minor like you ate the last cookie or something. It’s not anger, he just gets pouty until you say you’ll make it up to him.

P-Past (what has happened in your relationship that changed the way you saw each other?)

Having to do your relationship long distance was a pivotal point for the both of you. For most, it can be a deal breaker and it comes with more negatives than positives. But, for the two of you, it was a wake-up call, and, it was the moment you both realized “I can’t live without you, we will make this work”.

Q-Quality (what is their most dangerous/toxic quality?)

I wouldn’t say this is dangerous or toxic idk (???) but ANWAYSSSSS. Coby lacks certainty in his own decisions. He’s not so bad now, but it used to be a lot worse. He second guesses himself too much, which can be the difference between life and death in a high pressure situation.

R-Rejection (how would they react to you rejecting their confession (or the other way around))

Being rejected by you would definitely impact his self-esteem. It’d bring up a lot of insecurities and feelings of inadequacy. (PLS DON’T REJECT THIS PRECIOUS BOY).

S-Scars (battle or self-inflicted)

Coby does have a scar on his head. It’s not entirely certain when or where he received this scar, but it’s likely to be from his rough training with Garp.

T-Trust (have they ever broken your trust?)

No, Coby has never broken your trust. In fact, your relationship is held up by the unwavering trust the two of you have in one another. It may seem funny to say that, because trust is a vital element of any relationship, but it’s particularly the case for you two. Being a marine means there’s going to be quite a few things he can’t tell you, but you know he can’t tell you and he really appreciates how much you understand that.

U-Urge (how badly do they want to see you after you guys separated?)

He’s had to learn to cope with not seeing you for long periods of time. But, despite all that practice it’s still unbelievably difficult. When he can, he’ll write you letters to keep you informed about his safety. He won’t ask, but he’d really appreciate if you wrote him back.

V-Vicious (what do they do when they lash out on you?)

I genuinely don’t believe he would lash out at you. He just wouldn’t. Maybe, he’s slammed a few doors, but other than that… (sorry I feel like this one is boring af ugh).

W-Weak (what makes them feel weak how do they try to avoid it?)

Coby always felt weak and incapable in his abilities. Sometimes those feelings resurface. But honestly, he trues to avoid this by remembering how and why he is where he is. He thinks of all the people who have helped him along the way (Luffy, Garp etc.) and it motivates him to push forward.

X-X-ray (what do they hate and show it most obviously?)

He hates needless violence. He understands in some situations violence is necessary, but, then there are some situations (like the end of marineford) where lives are being lost for no reason whatsoever.

Y-Yearn (what is one thing that they want but can’t have?)

He wants nothing more than to openly be BFF’s with Luffy. Given the two different worlds they live in, it’s just never going to happen, despite Luffy being a genuinely good person. (I KNOW THIS IS MEAN TO BE ANGSTY BUT I COULDN’T HELP IT LMFAO)

Z-Zero (what do they do/say in your dying moments?)

Oh boy. There would be endless amounts of tears. Through sniffles and snot, he’d be trying to thank you for everything you’ve done for him, all the love and support you’ve shown him.

[acciofanfics]

Rule Breaker (Percy Weasley x Reader) SMUT

Request: Hi, I was wondering if you guys could write smut with Percy where both are Gryffindor perfect ( they are on last year in Hogwarts ) and Percy breaks the rules for the first time and they have a first time in prefect bathroom.

Pairing: Percy Weasley x FemReader

Warnings: SMUT, perhaps a bit of language? Unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!) and I think that’s it??

Word Count: 1,730

A/N: I hope this isn’t too OOC! I don’t know too much about Percy, but I do hope I did him justice and you like it! Also requests are still open and I am having so much fun writing lately! Also I had a hard time finding a gif...- S

____________________________________________________________

Molly and Arthur rarely left Fred, George, Ron or Ginny alone in the burrow. The first three couldn’t be trusted to not get into some sort of trouble and they were always a little more protective over Ginny (she was the only girl). However, Percy they knew they could trust. He was definitely the responsible one, already a prefect and surely on his way to being Head Boy. No there was no reason they would ever second guess their decision to let him and (Y/N) stay at the burrow while they took Harry and his siblings to do some last minute shopping at Diagon Alley.

(Y/N) and Percy sat comfortably on the older couch. It was nice to have a little alone time, they’d been ‘dating’ since 3rd year and it was a rare occurrence. Between being young and being at Hogwarts there was little time for romance. “It’s so quiet.” Percy commented on the lack of annoyance coming from his siblings.

“It’s a little weird,” (Y/N) giggled, “We could talk or we could....”

Percy leaned across the couch and planted a kiss on her lips. It was innocent at first, as it always was. Something was a bit different this time though; perhaps it was the knowledge of no interruptions or maybe it was the fact that they’re a good deal older than when their crushes first formed. Either way what was once an innocent kiss turned heated, even more so than the kisses they’d shared occasionally in the common room when everyone else was already in bed. Hands wanders and groped and before Percy even thought about what he was doing, he helped (Y/N) lift her jumper off.

“Percy, mum wants to know if- Oh god!” Fred yelped, and tried to hide a laugh when (Y/N) pushed Percy off of her and scrambled to reapply her sweater. He turned around, “Nevermind! I’ll just tell her you’re busy trying to make her a grandchild!”

(Y/N) and Percy were sure Fred didn’t actually give them up, because Molly and Arthur didn’t seem phased at all. Of course, the two love birds were on edge until they arrived at Hogwarts; it was only then that they were sure Mr. and Mrs. Weasley weren’t plotting some elaborate punishment. Unfortunately, even then things didn’t go back to normal... it was only the first week of school and Percy had barely seen (Y/N) despite both being Gryffindor prefects.

Percy had been making an effort to keep their interactions minimal. That day, back on the couch, something had snapped. She was all he could think about, and the thoughts weren’t rarely innocent. Sure, he thought about it before; it was only natural. They’d been together for a long time and they were both practically adults. Hell, they’d even snogged before, but maybe it was the fact that they’d never been THAT close before, because those thoughts had always been somewhat fleeting or at the very least easily pushed back. Not anymore.

(Y/N) wasn’t stupid. She knew very well he was ignoring her and she had enough of it. She’d stalked right up to him while he was patrolling the corridors, “Percy, we need to talk. Meet me at the prefects bathroom tonight, 6 pm?” It came out more as a question but before Percy even had a chance to tell her that would be highly inappropriate, she had spun around and walked away from him.

Needed to talk? Once Fred and George found out they’d told him clearly he wasn’t good enough in the sack and now she was going to get rid of him. Percy didn’t feel it necessary to correct them, it would probably only result in more teasing, but alas he was worried. Maybe she would want to get rid of him.... he hadn’t exactly been a doting boyfriend as of late. His mind reeled the rest of the evening and by the time he reached the prefects’ bathroom he didn’t even think about it before he whispered the password (pine-fresh) and walked right in. “(Y/N)! I didn’t mean to...”

She was seated comfortably in the elaborate bathtub already, he hair twisted into a neat bun and everything but her bare shoulders covered by the bubbles. She chose to ignore him and get straight to the point, “Percy, I’ve been thinking. Lately you’ve been ignoring me, there’s no need to deny it we both know it’s true. Anyways, it always boils down to that afternoon at your house, when Fred interrupted. Do you regret the direction we were headed?”

“No!” Percy was thankful that (Y/N) was a pretty straight forward person (at least with him). She never made him guess what she was feeling, but that didn’t help him right now. He still had to explain what he felt. “Well, that’s not entirely true. Since that interaction... I’ve had a hard time concentrating around you and I worry that maybe we aren’t on the same page? And now we’re at school so it’s not even possible if by some miracle you did feel the same.”

(Y/N) chuckled at him, “You can be a bit thick at times. Percy... there’s no one around now.”

“But...” No there was not.... but that was probably breaking at least 20 rules all at once. Of course being in here with her then was probably grounds for expulsion now. Maybe he could be a little harsher with some younger students and indirectly deduct some house points from himself.... Percy was struggling to come up with a reason to walk away, “You have a point...”

(Y/N) could see Percy’s mind unraveling, and she felt a little guilty, but they had to deal with this. “I’m not trying to push you into anything, Perce.”

“Could you just... turn around for a moment?” It wasn’t that Percy hadn’t wanted to. He just shouldn’t, and his biggest conundrum was that usually he didn’t want to if it meant he shouldn’t. He supposed he wasn’t too conflicted because when she turned around he quickly shed his clothing, putting them in a neat pile, and slipped into the hot bath water. He settled himself close enough that she could see he was in, but not close enough he was touching her.

(Y/N) smiled softly at him. Cautiously she moved closer to him. Percy’s face was only a few shades lighter than his own hair, “You sure you’re okay, Perce?”

Merlin he hated feeling this way. He was normally quite confident in his skills and abilities. He just hadn’t had the opportunity to perfect this aspect of his life, “Yes. I just haven’t-“

She couldn’t help but laugh. Of course she quickly stopped when she saw he wasn’t amused, “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean like that, really! But we’ve been together since we were kids Percy, I would surely hope not since I haven’t either.”

That was a good point. He didn’t know why that hadn’t crossed his mind. By no means was he no longer nervous, but he was definitely put more at ease, he even chuckled along with her, “You’re right! I don’t know why I didn’t-“

She cut him off by kissing him, hopefully if she caught him while he was acting normal he wouldn’t have a chance to revert to acting so odd. It worked, and Percy melted into the familiarity of her lips. Their lips and tongues moved together and for a moment he’d forgotten about their predicament, until he reached out to grab her and instead of the fabric of her school robe his palms caught her wet bare skin. They paused again for a moment, but that was only for a moment. The desire that they had suppressed since the summer was back full-fold.

(Y/N) pressed herself against Percy and he had to bite back a groan as she rubbed against him. Both of their hands roamed freely without any hinderances of clothes and it was greatly appreciated by both parties. (Y/N) slid her right hand down his chest, delving lower until she captured his hardened shaft in her hand. Any concern she may have had about being too forward disappeared when he moaned into her mouth. She began stroking him, varying the speed of palm based on the reactions it elicited from him.

Percy didn’t know if he could pinpoint exactly what it was that was had him feeling like he’d snuck firewhiskey from the cupboard. It was probably a mixture of hormones, the naked girl in front of him and perhaps Fred and George were right about breaking the rules being fun. Whatever it was had him acting instinctively, and he mimicked his girlfriend to some degree. He reached between her legs and began to tease her as well, when she began bucking her hips against his palm he gave in and dipped his finger inside of her... and then another one.

They became a mess of sloppy kisses and moans, both experimenting with different movements and methods that brought another grunt of approval from their mouths. Until Percy grabbed her hand and brought her to an abrupt stop, “I can’t handle much more of this.”

Wordless (Y/N) guided him to the shallower end of the bath, where the could both sit with the water only reaching right below their chests. Percy tried to focus on the newly exposed flesh while she slid onto him. He laid kisses across her breasts and neck as he waiting for her to adjust to the new feeling that he had to imagine would be much more uncomfortable to her.

(Y/N) gave herself a moment, the experience wasn’t nearly as bad as she has prepared for. Perhaps it was that she had more control in their positions or that she had been properly worked up before hand, but she found it more uncomfortable than anything. With Percy’s mouth and hands distracting her, she began to move her hips, and slowly the uncomfortable feeling phased into a pleasurable one.

It was probably only a few minutes before the slow pace quickened. His hips snapped up to meet hers and it wasn’t long at all before they both gave into the new and intense pleasure, coming undone in each other’s arms.

A goofy grin was on both of their lips and Percy placed a chaste kiss on her forehead, “Wow. Might have to break the rules more often if you’re involved.”

[thatshithurted8]

July

Summary: Watching who you thought was the love of your life change into a completely different person because of drugs was heartbreaking, but everyone reaches their breaking point eventually. 

Inspired by the song July by Noah Cyrus. 

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: Mention of emotional and mental abuse, gas lighting, manipulation and drug use. 

It’s to be expected that every relationship has their ups and downs. But during the first year of yours and Rafe’s relationship you two had more ups than downs, which you were extremely grateful for. However, a lot of people had strong opinions about Ward Cameron’s infamous son, Rafe and his actions. 

These labels and assumptions about your relationship and boyfriend bothered you at first, but then you came to a realization that no one knows Rafe the way you do and they’re only judging him off of what he portrays to the world. 

However, you noticed a shift in your relationship right after your one year anniversary. You don’t know how it started exactly, but you remembered Rafe calling you to pick him up from parties. Of course you obliged, leaving your school work scattered on your desk to be the designated driver for your boyfriend. But when you would pick him up you would notice him sniffling continuously all the while acting differently than he normally does when he’s drunk. 

Your suspicions of what your boyfriend was doing finally came to light when you saw Rafe snort a line of coke with your own eyes. This only started a fight and the beginning of the end of your relationship. 

I've been holding my breath I've been counting to ten Over something you said I've been holding back tears While you're throwing back beers I'm alone in bed

Friday nights were reserved date nights for you and Rafe. All of yours and Rafe’s friends knew that so you were extremely annoyed when Rafe walked into the living room with a keg while you were setting up the movies you two were going to watch. 

“Uh what’s that for?” 

“My dad and Rose are out of town for a stupid business thing so I thought we should have a party.” Rafe says, his eyes frantically scanning his surroundings. His eyes were dilated and you could tell that he was already high off of the white substance you despised. 

“Aren’t you forgetting that it’s date night?” You ask raising a brow at him. 

Rafe simply rolls his eyes. “We do the same shit every date night and it’s not fun anymore. They cause more stress than good.” He says stumbling over his words. 

Taken aback from your boyfriends words you set the tv remote on the couch before walking to Rafe’s room with tears in your eyes, leaving the snacks you prepared out on the coffee table. Rafe doesn’t seem phased by you walking away from him, seemingly hurt. Instead he walks into the large kitchen in search for red solo cups. 

As the music down stairs boomed throughout the house you laid in Rafe’s bed. His comment earlier was really taking a toll on you even though you knew it was the drugs talking. Even though you tried to ease your racing mind you had to continuously count to ten while taking deep breaths and holding back tears. The chatter of teenagers and music made you want to scream, but instead you stayed put laying motionless in Rafe’s bed that smelt like him. 

Rafe snorts another line of the white substance on the coffee table before grabbing the bowl of potato chips that you set out for your movie night. As he stuffs his mouth with the salty snack, laughing at something Kelce said tears finally escaped your eyes. 

You know I, I'm afraid of change Guess that's why we stay the same

As you grew up you associated change as a negative thing. It seemed as if every bad thing that has happened in your life was a result of some sort of change. So that was why you liked routine and Rafe was understanding of that. 

However, the change within Rafe was slow and unexpected. It crept up on you like a cheetah prowling for their prey. When you finally realized that your relationship with Rafe drastically changed you felt as if it was too late. In reality it wasn’t too late Rafe just made you feel like it was. 

So tell me to leave, I'll pack my bags, get on the road Find someone that loves you better than I do, darling, I know 'Cause you remind me every day, I'm not enough, but I still stay

The boy you claimed to love made you feel as if you would never find anyone better than him and that you were always in the wrong, no matter the situation. During your now frequent arguments Rafe would blame you for his drug problem, saying that you were stressing him out and shit. 

He would also make you believe that  you were the one to change and that you don’t love him anymore. You two have had countless fights about Rafe claiming you don’t love him, resulting in you leaving his house in a hurry to go to yours. Some fights have gotten so out of hand that you wanted to skip town all together.

Despite all of the shit Rafe has put you through you truly believed that you still loved him. And at times you wished and hoped and even craved for the old Rafe. The Rafe before drugs. The Rafe that you only saw. Every now and then that side would come out, making you hopeful that staying with him despite the mental turmoil he has put you through was the right decision.  

You so desperately wanted Rafe to go back to the boy you feel in love with. Although he seemingly reminded you every day while he was high as to why you weren’t enough for him and anyone else, you still stayed. You knew you should’ve left a long time ago, but you chased after the glimpses of the old Rafe you would see in between his highs. 

Feels like a lifetime Just tryna get by While we're dying inside I've done a lot of things wrong Loving you being one But I can't move on

Every day that went by while you continued to stay with Rafe dragged on and on. He was weighing you down and there was nothing you’d rather do than sleep. Rafe has torn down your self esteem so much that you barely had any left if at all. 

When you laid in bed at night after days worth of physically draining work at the charity you volunteered at for your college applications your mind would drift. It would drift and make you question as to what things have you done in your life that were wrong. 

You realized that loving Rafe was something you did wrong, which causes you to allow yourself to cry for the first time in weeks. Over the past few weeks you could feel your optimism and happiness deteriorating and it was all thanks to your boyfriend who supposedly loved you. 

And once again, despite all of this you still found yourself madly in love with Rafe. 

So tell me to leave, I'll pack my bags

At some point everyone eventually reaches their breaking point. The straw that broke the camels back was Rafe failing to show up to your two year anniversary dinner. Instead he opted out to party with his friends and get high on the substance that he loved more than you. 

The embarrassment of being stood up by your boyfriend at one of the most prestigious restaurants in town made your skin crawl. You remember the sad glances and whispers you received from the other guests enjoying their meals. 

Deciding to go home after an hour and a half of waiting you saw all over snapchat where Rafe was and what he was too busy doing to show up to your anniversary dinner. At that point you didn’t know what you expected. Rafe promised you while he was sober that he was going to come and it was going to be the best date you’ve ever been on. However, you were let down again. 

A few days went by and Rafe hasn’t even bothered to text you. He was probably too busy on a bender or getting high while sleeping on Toppers couch. 

As you sat in your bed you looked around your room and at the pictures that scattered your walls. The pictures of you and Rafe used to bring you so much happiness, but now you felt nothing. Your eyes continue to scan your baby blue walls and they eventually land on the acceptance letters to the universities you applied to that your mom made you frame. 

You were supposed to stay in the Outer Banks and go to the university in the town over. That way you could see Rafe on a daily basis, in fact it was his idea. But that’s not what you wanted anymore. Letting out a huff you start to pack your bags knowing that your decision was going to potentially alter your life forever. 

Watching Rafe turn into a different person all the while you tried to help him was draining and heart breaking. Everything you’ve been through the past year has piled up and you were finally done. 

It was your time to leave.

-

Question of the day: Whats your biggest relationship deal breaker and why?

[felassan]

Highlights and insights from the N7 Day cast & crew reunion panel

[Rewatch link]

In case a text format is better for anyone. There are some NSFW references. Cut for length.

(Some paraphrasing.)

“Some of us are inebriated”

“Patrick Weekes, the killer of man and beasts, the breaker of hearts”

JHale put the whole thing together, it’s the biggest ME cast reunion to date

The cast had no idea that the remaster was a thing

Lots of ace discussion about what the magic of the MET is (“it captured lightning in a bottle”)

Lots of warm fuzzies between the cast, crew and community, and lots of fun behind-the-scenes anecdotes

Lots of great discussion on the diversity and inclusion in ME: on gender, sexuality, representation, empowerment, the core message in the MET that “we’re all in this together or we’re screwed”, the progress made in the portrayal of female characters in gaming, etc. “Everything behind what went into these characters was authentic, we [the VAs] could tell that so much research, texture, authenticity etc had gone into them. It really made a difference”. JHale: “I’ve spent my career kicking down ceilings [barriers and so on women actors experience] with my steel-toed boot. To get to be a part of this game that has now created the expectation that there now be a female PC, ‘duh’, is once of the great things of my life. BioWare listened and put her on the box. The first time someone dropped the box in front of me I held it over my head and screamed over the crowd, ‘Casey Hudson, thank youuu!!’ It was a divine moment. This game was the moment the boot finally crashed through the glass, pushed by millions of women.”

The panel received many messages from the question submission from fans expressing that MET really helped them through very dark places and periods in their lives. The cast have had a lot of interactions with fans over the years where the fans expressed similar sentiments to them

ME was one of the first games Keythe Farley (Thane) acted for that had branching dialogue/dialogue choices, and when he saw the script with that when he went in, he was like “wow”. ME was the second big game D. C. Douglas (Legion) ever did. In his first audition he didn’t know it was for a robot-type character as it was disguised as something else with a military-feel. The second time it was to do a speech/lament at someone’s funeral and he knew it was for a robot. He said playing Legion for him was a case of “wake up, drink some coffee and go to work”

Jack was really special to her VA Courtenay Taylor because she relates to her so much and had a lot of similar emotional problems and personal troubles in her past. Jack helped her become who she has became. The host added that in his interactions with Courtenay over the years, he realized very quickly that she is very much like Jack

AWR has two moms, something which she hasn’t talked about/expressly said publicly before. Talking about recording lines between Sam and Femshep made her tear up. She said that being raised by two moms in the 80s was tough due to societal attitudes at the time, and so to see a loving relationship between two women depicted in a game was a big deal for her. When recording the white picket fence conversation, she was actually crying (“and then I’m crying because of the lesbians”). It was a huge moment for her to represent her moms’ journey. When she went home she told them all about how her character is gay and wants a white picket fence and everything “just like we had”.

When PW was working on Sam’s arc, one of the things they did was show it to one of their colleagues, who is a lesbian, asking what things she’d like to see in an arc like that and what things she felt were missing from it. The white picket fence conversation came from the colleague’s feedback (“we wanna see the nice, healthy, happy domestic stuff”, as it’s often missing in portrayals of wlw relationships)

As the VAs got more into their characters, they sometimes had feedback and input to the process to offer, like “I don’t think she’d say [this] like [that]”. Sometimes they knew their characters even better than the crew did sometimes. JHale waxed lyrical about Caroline Livingstone’s awesome direction, with the host adding that he has interviewed a lot of the VAs over the years and they all talk about Caroline like she’s Gandalf the White coming to the rescue in LotR. AWR expressed that Caroline is really funny (“don’t worry it’s not you, PW was sick when they wrote this line that’s why”) and emotionally in-tune with them and this makes long hard sessions with her a joy

When Mark went into record for the Citadel DLC one day he asked Caroline “wouldn’t be great if Shepard’s clone had been made to be the opposite gender? Then the two Shepards could fight each other!”

William Salyers (Mordin) likes the way Mordin’s story ended and felt that it was wonderful to be able to play that. He feels like the luckiest person because as he wasn’t the original VA of Mordin, he got to come in late to something that was amazing. “Caroline helped me get to where I needed to be emotionally to play that final scene. It was one of the most moving things I’ve ever gotten to do personally for a piece of interactive art”. PW related that with Mordin’s writing, they didn’t realize how much they were asking for. They thought William was amazing doing all the science-speak/technobabble, as they themselves didn’t know what it meant, and then suddenly having to deliver emotional heartbreaking lines. William’s always been a secret science nerd and so he loved that fact about Mordin. “It was a real treat to say your words”

Karin: “I always claim credit for the Scientist Salarian song even though I had nothing to do with it. I opened that door for PW”

Steve Blum (Grunt) found it a real treat playing Grunt as Grunt is a tough soldier on the outside but a [babey] on the inside, while he is more the other way around (softer on the outside, fight-y inside). He isn’t a gamer and so didn’t know what to expect or what he was getting into. There was the big pile of words, they showed him the picture of Grunt, and he just ran with it. “Grunt was kind of a perfect character for me in that respect”. Side note: his wry comments throughout the panel were hilarious

“Casey Hudson, our glorious loving overlord”

Courtenay jokes about “interspecies snorkeling”

The women Courtenay met working on this game are her friends for life. Ali Hillis (Liara) gave her her number the night of the ME3 drop and was like “let’s hang out!!” “JHale is the shit. I go to England and there’s AWR and I have this friend for life”.

“We’re a family”. The host comments that you don’t see this kind of closeness between the people on a lot of projects

Kimberley Brooks (Ashley) thinks things have and are changing for the better in terms of roles for women, and roles for brown and black women. This year she has noticed increasing awareness of inclusion and of where it’s lacking. “The copies I’m being sent for auditions, it’s drastically changing, I’m seeing it change before my eyes. It’s really exciting, there’s more and more roles for me.” “Ash is such a strong character and I felt very badass playing her, it was life-changing”. She’s excited that the remaster is going to be a new way to see these characters that they’ve been so lucky to voice. Kimberley/Ash was the first female character Karin saw in the studio, when she saw her she was like “Wow, she’s so kickass and inspiring”. At this point Karin hadn’t been working at BioWare for all that long, and she wanted to thank Kimberley, because she saw her and heard her voice and had a personal ‘this changes everything’ moment

Raphael Sbarge (Kaidan) finds it very moving how many women were encouraged into gaming due to ME

Raphael: “Everyone here has awesome varied careers, but because ME was so collaborative [and so on], [it was something really rare and special]. Nothing else I’ve done has been so important or impassioned, it has almost a religious experience to it, which you can see from tears in fans’ eyes and tattoos and people talking about it 10 years later”. “I’m so grateful for it.” “Clearly we’re going to do this again next year! :D” D. C. added that it’s going to follow him for the rest of his career. Courtenay says it has catapulted her career

PW talked about how it’s great that the female chars in ME were allowed to have real, realistic flaws and dark periods (as opposed to nonsense stuff like ‘her flaw is that she’s clumsy’)

Having the male and female PC be voiced was a big, expensive commitment for the studio. Karin commented that at the time, it was a risk that the pretty-much almost entirely-male leadership of BioWare at the time decided was important to take, and so she was happy that these were the values her colleagues had

PW was “the junior baby writer on ME1. I’d just gotten to the studio and Mac Walters fell down a flight of stairs and hurt his back, and they pulled me in while he was healing”. Karin: “Mac was very understanding when PW fell on the ice and hurt themselves during ME2.” PW: “My job in ME1 was to come up with conversations between followers to pass the time in the elevator loading times. I was throwing stuff at the wall to see what would stick”

Steve turning his volume down before he shouts classic Grunt quotes down the mic

Caroline: “Do you know how many tears were shed in the booth? How many times have we all cried in the booth...” JHale: “We were recording the end of ME3, which I never call the end, because I’m always like I’M HERE! [wink] The goodbye Garrus lines” - these lines got right under her skin and when she went to say her lines she couldn’t speak because she’d burst into tears. “It was all I could do to say those words... and then there was silence... [and Caroline had gotten choked up too].” This was one of the last sessions they did. PW: “John Dombrow wrote Garrus in ME3 and I’m gonna tell him that he got you both to break.”

Caroline was also really teary during Keith David’s (Anderson)’s performance where he tells Shepard she’s like his daughter. This moment was one of JHale’s favorites to act

BioWare came up with a proprietary VA recording system which JHale describes as a secret sauce as-yet not widely-used in the industry

Lots of fun in the line-reading portion at the end. The lines/scenes were sent in by fans. This starts around timestamp 1 hour 50 mins. There’s a break where they discuss more anecdotes after a bit then some line-reading resumes at 1 hour 59 mins 18 secs

"Salarian Vorcha Conrad Verner simmering sexual tension scene”

One of PW’s fondest memories is of ME3 when JHale and Mark got to play off each other (which they naturally didn’t get to do very much), when PW had shoved the entire script of the Blasto movie into random ambience throughout the Citadel. They knew Mark was going to be Blasto as he voiced most of the hanar. PW: “We had to have Blasto’s elcor partner’s hot sister... And I was like could it be JHale?? Because they hardly ever get to talk to each other. It was one of my proudest moments”. Mark: “Not only that, we had a romance.” JHale: “Yeah, it was hot”.

“Think of the poor cold freezing Edmontonian hanar”

PW’s story about Sam’s toothbrush: They wrote it as a throwaway line but AWR did it so well that PW wanted to bring it back in the Citadel DLC, as that DLC was the action-comedy one. So they decided the toothbrush was going to save the Normandy. The art director at the time was in an early playthrough of the scene and in that version of the scene Sam held up her empty hand. The director was like “We gotta make the toothbrush? Really? It’s gonna be thousands of dollars to render the toothbrush.” It then got to the next few lines and the director deadpanned at PW “Okay that’s pretty good, we’ll make the toothbrush.” PW: “Good, I got my toothbrush.”

It was John’s idea that we find out that Mordin had been working on a crime noir novel. There was a period in the development of the Citadel DLC where PW was feeling like “Mordin’s gone, he had his big moment, I want to respect and honor that” and the entire team were like “I think Mordin needs a couple more songs dude”. “Well alright!” By that point William had shown them he could deliver literally any line

“Oh I need a shower that was so steamy hot”

PW got in trouble with Localization over Jack’s “Save some of your energy, we’re gonna do it on the pool table” exchange. Localization were like “Um could you explain what Jack means by this??” These lines were PW’s, Karin as an editor got the question about it and passed it on to PW like “nope this is your fault”. “The best part is it was France that needed PW to explain the joke while apparently Germany were like ‘Yes please confirm that this is regarding the possibility of oral sex-’”

Keythe on voicing Thane: “Thane was a real lesson in opening up to the character, allowing this beautifully conflicted character to exist. Each character in the MET has conflicts within themselves and a tragic flaw that is revealed through the course of conflict.” He also waxed lyrical about how the MET was akin to Star Wars and Citizen Kane, and about the interconnectedness and representation in it

D. C.: “I have a question for you guys. Was it a conscious decision to not have Legion as a romance? Because there are a lot of upset people out there!!” “Voltage problems.” “A lot of creative reuses of ‘There was a hole.’” PW: “It was a process of us figuring out what we wanted to do. If we had known... The number of people who were like ‘I don’t know, are people gonna wanna romance Garrus? Liara? She’s blue and has no hair. Are people gonna be okay with that?” Karin: “We were young and naïve, now we know BioWare fans are thirsty.”

Derek brought in the first picture of Thane to show Caroline and she was like “He’s really hot, that’s gonna be a killer character. People are gonna want to romance that gentleman”

Raphael asked the BioWare team if there’s ever been a point where they thought about doing more DLC content or some kind of revival. “Has that ever come up?” “We’re legally obligated not to say, sorry, we’re going through a tunnel right now, bad reception!!”

D. C.: “Does this country have a soul?” “It does.”

“An N7 Day to remember! Go forth and heal.”

[geekkatsblog]

Grey's Season 17x8 review

I'm kinda late but I haven't been sleeping lately so I finally managed to catch up with the episode today.

I'm still in shock from last weeks episode honestly but let's go. First I'm expressing my disappointment on the lack of Carina, she's a series regular on Grey's but all her scenes were on Station 19, I wish they would have brought Maya to Grey's just so I could feel good about seeing them cash in their regulars card. Then Deluca was laid to rest, another heart breaker seeing that they had just opened the realms of possibility for him and storylines but they just killed him off instead.

___________________________________________

Teddy

Teddy the biggest storyline at this point besides the funeral. At last we get to see what's really going on. Teddy hasn't been looking herself for a long time and it seems like Deluca's death was the breaking point for her, she was so scarred she didn't even want to wean Meredith off of the vent and when things are affecting your decisions as a doctor and not for the better, it's not a good sign. We'll get to see more of the storyline next week which honestly I'm excited to see. She managed to make me feel for her because despite everything she's done she's still the same old attachment barbie under there. I'm just glad Owen was able to put aside their differences and pick her up bridal side to take her home. The only thing I'm hoping is that it actually happens to be what the trailer was suggesting and not another Denny and Izzie situation because enough of the Grey Sloan doctors have had cancer and I'm definitely hoping that hey end the love triangle between her Owen and Tom or the better scenario in my opinion is let her get some space to breath and deal with healing without the pressures of relationship added to it.

___________________________________________

Meredith

Meredith honey, I'm gonna need you to take several feet away from Mc Dreamy, your kids and the hospital need you and you're getting a little too close to him for comfort. On that note I was once again glad to see Patrick Dempsey bless my screen as Derek Shepherd and it was as always a treat. When he talked about the kids, I'm so glad he knows about Ellis and they got to have several deep chats, so much so that I almost fell into the trap of wanting them to touch. She took a breath on her own which makes it seem as though she's improving but I don't want to get my hopes up and then have them trampled again like in the situation with Deluca waking up after surgery and then Meredith waking up only to end up on a vent in the same day.

___________________________________________

Bailey

I'm so glad that she's taking some time off. She's been running on empty since her mother died and she was beginning to remind me of the time with when she tested herself over and over again for staph with how obsessed she was about Deluca's autopsy, however with the amount of her fellow doctors she's lost its understandable plus Meredith the only one of her residents left is still on life support. If it wasn't for Richard she would have done some serious damage especially to Teddy who already was on edge. She definitely doesn't handle trauma well but besides Richard and Meredith she has experienced the most trauma. She's been through a lot and sometimes I think I tend to forget that.

And at least we got to see that small scene between her and Ben at the end so that was a plus.

___________________________________________

Richard

Is still holding up the walls of the hospital. It must be so hard for him to keep his faith with all he has been through, like I said before him, Meredith and Bailey have been through hell and back so I can definitely understand him feeling a little lost and losing his faith. However he didn't let that affect his keeping the Grey Sloan family together. I'm glad him and Catherine managed to make up because both of his support people are going through things of their own (Meredith and Bailey) so I was glads that she was able to be there for him and he didn't have to consider the thought of alchohol because that would just be too much at this point.

___________________________________________

Amelia and Link

Are doing really well right now as a couple, which scares me because whenever something seems to be going too well for a couple they throw a storm at them and I'm not ready to see their happy bubble burst just yet.

And Amelia has grown a lot her talking to Zola, she just said the right things. Mother hood as really changed her for the better. And does anyone else really want to see the letters that Zola wrote for Derek?

Link however felt the pressures of taking care of 4 kids constantly and I can understand I help out with my niece sometimes and by the end I want to pull my hair out and sleep in a corner for a week, farless 3 kids and a baby, I'm surprised he lasted so long.

Link headed to Jo's house in the middle of whatever agreement Jackson and Jo have going and got drunk. What I really liked about it though was that he went home afterwards and when he did Amelia didn't judge or yell she just talked to him and then hugged him which was amazing. They have a level of communication on the show that most of the other couples lack and it just works so well for them.

___________________________________________

Jo and Jackson

Jackson discovered just how much of a close friendship Link and Jo have and at some point he almost seemed as if he was jealous. Let the complications begin ladies and gentlemen. Plus there is the apparent potential of Dr Haynes turning it into a triangle. I guess one triangle dies to form another 🙄 and let's just say I'm not too excited for it.

Jo allowed herself to get drunk and vent which in my opinion was a step forward atleast. She hasn't really gotten the time to grieve over Alex because suddenly Covid happened and she was swamped with work. I'm just hoping that she does so that she won't accidentally sabotage any upcoming happiness she may have with someone else she needs to heal.

___________________________________________

Maggie and Winston

Poor Winston, he really doesn't know what he's signing up for by joining Grey Sloan does he 😭? Although I noticed last week he seemed to be getting the picture when Link was talking about Meredith and Derek. On the other hand seeing him with the kids was adorable, and he managed to give everyone some time to themselves without the kids which was a very big contribution. He's reminding me of a Ben which in no way is a bad thing. Go on Maggie get it.

Maggie was also devastated and shocked by Deluca as we all were and I'm so sad how their slowly but surely introducing her to the traumas of Grey's. She literally is the only pure one left and now she has to go through all the trials of the hospital until she's dark and twisty. I hope not though she's the only cheerful non broken one left on the show.

___________________________________________

Owen

Is about to have his hands full by next episode. He really is beginning to redeem himself after all Teddy did to him the whole episode he spent trying to make her feel better about Deluca and then picked her up to carry her home which confirmed my theory of it was always going to be Owen for Teddy, it was always Owen and Teddy even when she was married to ....... Henry 😭. I hope this will be the end of the over worked love triangle and they'll finally be able to move on especially Tom who deserves it.

___________________________________________

Haynes

Is utterly smitten with Meredith's children and was begging her to wake up and fight and surprise, surprise she took her first breath on her own. Honestly out of all the potential suitors for her which really isn't much considering one of them has now joined Derek as a permanent member of the beach, Haynes isn't a bad choice, I'm beginning to actually ship them. But then Krista said she was sensing a potential triangle with Jo, Jackson and Haynes and I hope not. I'm tired of the triangular pyramid of Grey Sloan love triangles. Just once I would like a relationship to be straight forward. They killed Deluca and the Teddy one is coming to an end, no need for another.

___________________________________________

Tom

Is still recovering from Covid and he seems to be going to live, a plus in the series so far.

___________________________________________

Levi and Nico

Are slowly getting closer, but I'm not rooting for anyone until Nico apologizes and they have an actual conversation about what happened without their clothes ending on the floor.

___________________________________________

Helm

Also was having a hard time coping and dealing with a bit of guilt about her over ambitious surgery hungry self. She actually reminds me of Cristina in a way, which is why I want Tom to be her teacher I really think their personalities will bounce well off of each other, especially in the episode where she had to check on Tom when he had Covid.

___________________________________________

Questions

• What's going on with Teddy? Owen said in the trailer he sees it in soldiers a lot but Grey's has a knack for reusing plots and her seeing Deluca is giving major Denny Izzie vibes, plus there's the chance that if it really is a brain tumor they'll pin all her recent choices on the tumor.

• Will someone tell Meredith they're are beaches in the real world as well, sure Derek won't be there and it probably wont be as peaceful but all I know is she needs to wake to hell up.

• What's going on between Jo and Jackson will they become more? Will they add Haynes to the mix?

• And most importantly when will Carina finally be seen in the Grey Sloan hospital? I need more Dr Carina.

[lookingforhobi]

♡ tour ♡

TOUR (Part Two)

Summary: It was just a tour with your friends to explore Seoul. But life gave you Namjoon. Yes, Kim Namjoon, the leader of a world-renowned group BTS.

Author’s Note: This is originally planned as ONE-SHOT but some comments were asking for it. Long overdue because life happens but here it is finally! Please don’t reupload or make YT content without my permission. This is purely imagination.

Click the link for the part one on my Youtube channel

Pairing: Kim Namjoon x reader

au/genre/warning: too much heartbreak; mentions of self-harm, mental health issues; pregnancy warning, unprotected sex; aggressive

Word Count: 12.9k

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Your hands are shaking as you shuffle through the set of keys to your new apartment. This has been the biggest leap of faith you ever did so far. Well, aside from your craziness and dating Kim Namjoon! But you try your best not to think of him and remember the promise you made yourself not to reconnect with him anymore. You are here because finally you’ve gotten the offer in the University to teach- a dream that happened before you started knowing Kim Namjoon better, not just as idol but the real Kim Namjoon. You sighed when you finally open the door and immediately shut it behind you. It feels different and home sickness starts to creep in. The last time to set foot to this country was with your friends, with the goal just exploring what the place has to offer, but Seoul gave you Joon. “Here you go again with Namjoon, Y/N,” you sighed to yourself. Sometimes you wish you are in different world, in parallel universe. Maybe there, things would’ve worked out. Or maybe in another life, you’d be in the same world and life would be better. “Suck it up!” you told yourself. You can’t live in what ifs and what not’s. You’re here, now. That is what matters.

You picked up your phone and dialled your Mom’s number. Living away from home, with no friends around, in a place where your what ifs are, are kind of tough. You swallowed hard when your mom picked up. She was supportive of your dreams, but when she learned you’re going to Seoul she got worried. She knew about you and Namjoon, though confused what is the real reason of the breakup, she knew you’re in for another heartbreak once your ways intersect again.

“My sunshine, how are you? How’s the apartment? How’s your flight? Have you eaten yet?” your mom worried as ever. “I’m good, Mom. Apartment’s nice, but I haven’t unpacked yet. I just got here. The flight? Urgh, I slept before the plane takes off so…” You laughed. “that’s good. Do you have food there? At least eat something before resting. You can unpack later" You smiled at her remarks, you’re going to miss her sweet nagging and the way she babysits you sometimes. “Mom, I’m a grown-up woman. A strong independent woman. Okay? Don’t worry. I got this handled like a queen!” you chuckled. “Like me,” she added. The call run for what it feels like forever, as you talk about your goals and schedules and anything, you started unpacking your stuff. Placing the family photos carefully and making sure your apartment feels like home one way or another. You smiled seeing your friends’ photos. It was the greatest adventure that winter. It was unexpected, the events were unplanned, it left a big impact of your life..and to think about it, it is one of the reasons you decided to pursue your dreams. Partly, Namjoon pushing and keeps on bugging you to, but mainly because this is where you dreamt of settling way long before you knew BTS exist. Your fascination to South Korea, the culture, tradition, and history of the place made you fall in love, added the amount of KDramas you grew up with- being Goong on top of the list because of the historic and cultural twist of that rom-com.

“Rom Com,” you laughed to yourself. The word that got Namjoon puzzled the first time you talked about favourites. He made a lot of funny poetic thing out of those words, clearly making a big deal of flexing his brainy ass! You smiled to the memories of your dating journey. But as soon as you realised, bitterness and sadness took over again. It has been 3 years since the breakup, and you can’t still take it out of your system. You blamed yourself for being a weakling, a coward. Overly dramatic and pathetic. Well, that is what other fans told you when they found out he’s dating someone. Great thing is BigHit got to intervene before people starts digging into HER that makes Namjoon’s heart flutter and inspired. Writing the song HER in record-breaking time. You can’t bear to hear it now without crying your eyes out for days. It teared you out completely, leading to issues that needs professional help. He didn’t know about that, of course you would never say it. You ended the relationship without further explanation. You dropped it like it doesn’t matter anyway. “It was just a fling.” That was what you said. But you know clearly it was not.

Of course, it’s hard dating an idol. The moment you stepped into the airport when you left after your Seoul getaway, you knew it won’t work. You cling on to the promise that he’d make time to visit you secretly, or make sure you can come to their concerts if your schedule permits. But as life gave you Namjoon in an unexpected time, fate decided to give you the bitter reality. He missed your calls, he forgot your birthday, he’d text once a month. You tried to understand all of that. He clearly has dreams to chase, and you can’t expect him to be with you-especially with their growing popularity. All the concerts, and pressure of producing new tracks, is too much for him…and you came along. Another added stress to what is already on his shoulders. He pleaded to make it work, but you knew it won’t. The biggest part-lack of human touch. You crave for it. You needed it. You needed to be reassured, and you consider touch as your love language. And it is very impossible for two people living miles apart. Heck, worlds apart! At first, you find ways. But virtually, is nothing compared to what you’ve shared back then. The amazing touch, sounds you never knew existed, his deep voice moaning your name… You shake your head once more. “Not gonna happen again. 3 years, Y/N. He moved on. You broke the poor man’s heart because you’re weak. So let him go. Let go!” you say that every day, like a mantra that keeps you going through the whole day.

You opened your SNS to check up on your friends and update them of everything. They are already planning of visiting you. Unlike with them, they did not break Yoongi and Jimin’s hearts. They made it clear after that triple date not to get involved emotionally. They knew better, you did not listen to them, hence they named you “the hard-headed, heart-breaker”. You love their honesty though, and the way they put up with all your drama and crying and making sure you’re attending therapies. It’s not that you’ve attempted to end your life though, you just didn’t find any more reasons to do the things you used to love. You started drifting away from everyone else, shutting doors even to your mom, your blank stares , and the forgotten ways to find happiness. They were the first to notice you drifting away from life. They initiated therapy sessions, made sure you were never alone but still maintaining your independence, and still respecting your privacy and preferences. They are your lifeline. And without them here, it is a tough journey. But you know, you were never alone really. You found your ways of dealing and living with it, you know the pre-warning signs. You grew stronger through it all.

By the end of the day, your apartment is tidied up, all your stuff are organised, and you felt yourself starving. You decided to have a walk around the neighbourhood, looking for essential spots around the area. You found your way towards one convenience store, and that is when it hits you. Looking straight ahead, his face is plastered everywhere- even on drinks! You wish you could just have amnesia and forget you ever met. If you could just start over, you would not let a strange man jumped into your taxi from the airport. You sighed as you try to ignore his grin from the coffee canister. You picked Hoseok instead. Their group has gotten huge that if you meet people from the outer space, they will certainly know about them, too. The idea made you smile, and as crazy as it sounds. But that what Namjoon has always manifested- their message transcends to everyone. Not just being popular but creating an impact that could change one or two lives. Yet he clearly cannot see how one group touched millions of people, and continue touching and attracting positivity to every homes. You are so proud of what they have become. Not that you have personal history together, but because before you’re HER, you’re an ARMY first. You look back to the moments when you have been struggling and how the group manage to lift you up. Ironically, the leader became one of the reasons for your confusion and heartaches for the last 3 years. If there’s an advice you can give to your younger self- DO NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH AN IDOL.

Weeks by, and little by little you get to adopt and create a system of how you’re going to survive this new beginning. You have also met some friends which are so lovely, even some from your country. Luckily, when Hallyu wave is the topic, you can manage to explain the true reason of you coming to South Korea- which is their rich cultures and amazing landscapes. You’ve also visited the places on your bucket list with the guide of your friends, particularly Felix. He has been very accommodating and welcoming and would give you amazing trivia about the places. You spend a lot of time together and sometimes he’d pick you up at work. He’s a nice guy, and you’re starting to like him but you know you’re not ready for anything yet. You made that clear the first time you talked about relationship, but not revealing the identity of the reason.

Days rolled to weeks, turned to months and before you know it it’s been almost a year since you’ve moved. You have been thriving and surviving, managing to build a wall between you and all BTS-related stuff. It has been quite a struggle because they are everywhere but you were able to filter the Namjoon you dated, pretend he’s a different guy from the BTS leader. Because from what you’ve learned, he is really different from RM. Namjoon is real, RM is just a tiny speck of Namjoon.

Fate must’ve been really bored one day you went to a coffee shop after work. It was an unexpected get together with your friends when a familiar face appeared. Your heart begins to race, you feel blood draining from your face, and you hold your breath. “Seems like you’ve seen a ghost” said Ligia. You can’t speak, you just stared at Manager Sejin and Namjoon entering the café. “You said you’re not into KPop?” asked Jenna. You can’t find answers, you can’t think. All you want is to bask in Namjoon’s ethereal presence. He still has that effect on you. The photos from everywhere is nothing compared to the actual Namjoon. Photographers don’t do justice no matter how they try. The man’s beyond aesthetic. His hair, that silver hair you always compliment…and did he hit the gym? He clearly did, his shoulders… his chest…oh that veiny arms who used to wrapped around your waist. That chest you used to sleep on. You’re longing for his touch…. You sit there staring at him, not minding all the questions and commotion from your friends. Not until…

“Y/N?” His voice, his heavenly voice, waking you up from your frozen state. “Oh my. You’re here? Here, here?” he walks towards you and all hell lose. You looked at your friends and strangers looking blankly at you two. Manager Sejin manages to warn anyone not to take photos, bodyguards started coming in. But you, everything seems to be moving slowly. “Ba---” he was about to say it, as if it’s the most natural thing to say. “Nam—Namjoon. H-hi" you finally found your voice, shaky and whispered, but still manageable. You didn’t know how but your friends seemed to be nowhere. It’s just you and Namjoon now, even Manager Sejin seems to have left. “Why? How? When?” he asked. Not sure how to answer, you just shook your head. “I’m sorry. I can’t, I… I don’t know how to explain.. not now, Joonie" you whispered. He smiled but you know he’s confused as well. You stood there for what it feels like eternity. You longed to touch him, you wish you could. But reality is creeping in. If you do it, it’ll ruin your Namjoon. It’ll ruin him and the guys. You cannot afford to do that. You kept your composure and bowed, attempting to walk away. Because any second, you’d burst crying and it’ll be no turning back. Your friends will start asking questions, social media will be filled of your photos, articles will be put up, heck Dispatch has its own ways of finding even your whole information. No, you must leave now!

“Can I at least call you?” he suddenly whispered. “I deserve answers, Y/N" he begged. You looked at him, he’s devastated as well. Was he struggling for the past years too? Trying hard to hide his true emotions, putting up a show for the whole world to know he’s doing great? You nodded. “Same info", you replied. “Thank you. It’s great to see you" he bowed, too formal, too stiff. He walked away first from the back door as Sejin walked past you. You bowed to both at them as they make their way out. When they’re gone, the store reopened but you chose to go home immediately leaving your friends with all their questions and worried looks.

You turned everything off- phone, SNS, laptop…anything that could connect you to the outside world. Right now, you just wanted to be alone. Soak in your own tears and begin hating yourself again. He was few feet away, so near…yet so far. You pinched yourself to make sure you can still feel anything except the emotional pain. Any pain, anything that could divert you from the thoughts of what if’s. “fuck it!” was all you can say while opening another bottle of beer. Sometimes you question how you get so lucky that Namjoon knows your existence. Yet cursed because every move means you could destroy him. “I just wanted a normal life! Date a normal guy! Hold his hand in public! Kiss him in front of the crowd!” You started shouting, over and over until you get exhausted. Curse.

You’re woken up by loud knocking. You checked the clock and it’s 4am, you only had 30 minutes of rest and whoever this is means it’s urgent by how heavy the knocks are. You remembered turning off all your connections, your friends must have been so worried. You peeked at the door, a tall guy’s silhouette stands there. “The fuck you want? Who are you??!!” you yelled. Beer breath coming out and you’re starting to get really dizzy. “open up Y/N" he whispered. “Namjoon? How the fuck did he managed to find me? You asked yourself. “Sorry, wrong house" you answered. “You can’t fool me. Let me in, please. It’s freezing" he begged. “Fuck Namjoon, it’s 4am what the hell are you thinking?” you asked him as you opened your door. You have enough beer in your system to act brave as you face the inevitable questioning. His scent was the first you caught. And God knows how much you missed that scent. 4 years since you’ve last smell that, and it brings back all memories. But now is not the time to think about those memories. “You’ve been drinking?” he has a hint of annoyance in his voice. You chuckled “duh!”. He sighed and sit himself down. “Why are you not answering?” now he seems concerned. “Disconnected outside world" you managed to reply as you tried your best to walk straight. “Jeez, Y/N! You’re wasted. This is not clearly the time" he remarked. “Yes, Kim Namjoon. This is not our time! There will never be our time!” you hissed in anger. He froze by your reply, hurt perhaps, and you started sobbing yet again. “In another lifetime, perhaps" you cried before everything turned black.

You woke up with the worst hangover headache. Everything feels heavy, and the sunlight is not helping at all. You groaned as you roll over your bed and noticed your clothes on the floor. Sudden gush of shock rush through your system as you try your hardest to recall the events from yesterday. NAMJOON! You immediately looked for signs of Kim Namjoon in your room. Aside from clothes on the floor, you’re also wearing new set of pyjamas. “Oh no no no no no no!” you prayed nothing happened between you. It will be a disaster, and you can’t let it ruin your lives again. You quickly run towards the kitchen and notice that the bottles of beer are now neatly packed by the kitchen counter, the living room tidy and not a single evidence of mess. “Joonie?” you asked. But no answer. You can’t be dreaming. No matter how drunk you were last night, you know he was here. He was, and the note on the table confirmed it.

Took the liberty to cook you breakfast. Also have medicines for headache. Lemonade on the fridge. Answer my messages/calls.

-NJ

You asked yourself how can he act as if nothing happened? Like you didn’t break his heart and tore him to pieces? Are you that irrelevant? Worth forgiving without even asking for one? How can he move on so easily? You did this, and your suffering for it but he acts cool and pretends to be okay. You pushed the food aside and went on to get the lemonade, which another note was attached.

Food first before medicine.

You rolled your eyes. And sighed as you open your phone. Messages came flooding through. From friends, your mom, voice mails, and notifications. But above everything, an unknown number with lots of missed call logs. You debated whether to call back that number, as if you don’t have a hint of who owned this number. Like on Cue, the number begins calling you. You were startled and almost dropped your phone. Your heart racing and skipping a beat at the same time.

“Hello?” you greeted.

“Finally!” Namjoon groaned.

“Why?” you asked plainly. “Nothing. Just making sure you’re up and eating.”

“Yes, I saw the notes. Thanks" you sighed. Then followed by silence.

“I have to go. But I'll call you again" he said, and ended the call.

What’s new? You mumbled to yourself. It was like that. It started with calls like that. He was always busy, you get it. You let him be, talk to you whenever he can. You never asked directly or demanded anything from him. His free time means writing new tracks, and talking to you at the same time. You were okay with it. His voice calms you down and brings comfort. He would send surprise gifts, too, with the help of Abi and Maigne.

You decided to call your friends.

“Whattt??? He went to your apartment? What was he thinking???” Maigne freaked out. “I don’t know, I didn’t get the chance to ask.” You answered. “Y/N! You didn’t…..did you?” Abi asked with questioning look. “No!.... I don’t know! I woke up with different set of clothes” you looked down, trying to recall everything but to no avail. “You…aiissshhh!!! I don’t know. How are you though?” Maigne asked, concern taking over. You shrugged because honestly, you don’t know. “Is there…is there any news? You know, SNS?” you waited patiently as both of them tried hard not to spill the tea. “Hmm. Nothing so far. Clear from dispatch. Comeback goals…, few buzzed about Namjoon and mystery girl at a coffee shop.. nothing much.” Abi said, as she scrolls absent-mindedly through her feeds. “Yeah, same", added Maigne. They were busy scrolling that they did not catch your reaction from the last statement. “Coffee shop". “What?” they asked in unison. “That was me" you swallow painfully. “Why would you leave that detail???” Maigne asked. “I was pre-occupied with him barging in my apartment. But yeah, that is how we met.” And you filled them with all the details you can remember. They are confused as well, and have different opinions on how to deal with Namjoon. “We’ll be filing our vacation leave soon. Hang in there, okay?” Abi reassured and you smiled as you ended the video call. You didn’t bother calling your Mom about Namjoon, she’ll just worry and you know she’s had enough of you getting your heartbreak.

You let go and ignored the urge to text him again. Besides, you learned that they’re preparing for their comeback. What you need to prepare is how to answer your new friends. Of course you can’t tell the truth. “I attended couple of album signing and other events for BTS. They have very sharp memories,” you lied. They didn’t bugged you again, as it has become a norm for the fans to attend public events. Days pass and you decided to focus on your work instead of basking around the idea of Namjoon, or reaching out to him. But then you receive a message from him:

Namjoon: Can we meet?

You: Outside? IDK Namjoon. It’s all over SNS

Namjoon: I’ll pick you up. The guys wanted to see you, too.

You: Is that even a good idea?

Namjoon: They missed you

You: Should we be talking first? I don’t want them to get the idea that I’m coming back

Namjoon: ok

You know it hurt him, just as much as it hurts you. But it is for the better. They might get the wrong impression of you coming back to Namjoon’s life just because you’re here now. They might protect you, they can protect you. They have been always supportive of you and Namjoon. But the main concern here is- will you be able to protect them especially Namjoon? You’ve put him in so much stress and heartbreak already, you can’t let that happen again as much as you missed him. His image is more important than anything. It’s the best you can do.

You: you can come here. We can talk here.

You were fixing your dinner when you heard someone knocking. You are not expecting anyone, except Namjoon. You furrowed your brows, it can’t be… But when you opened the door, it is him.

“Hi. Wasn’t expecting you. I thought we’d schedule or something,” you stuttered. “Oh, did I catch you in a bad time?” he hesitated. “No, no. I just thought you’re busy. Come in,” you try your best to calm your nerves. Seeing him here, miraculously you’re sober this time, makes you want to cling yourself around his arms. Feel him, touch him. It took all your might not to do that. “I’m preparing dinner. Do you wanna…join?” you can’t hide the awkwardness, but he smiled. The most reassuring smile. “Sure,” he attempts to stand up but you signalled him not to. It’s like you’re both testing waters, trying to hold back everything. “So, how are you?”, he asked while looking at the photos on the table. You scoffed “Surviving”. He nodded and smiled a little. “You?” you asked. “Album prep’s going on nicely.” “No, Joon. Namjoon. You.” You insisted. “I like it when you call me that. And yeah, I guess I am trying to survive, too” Then silence followed. You know it’s time to talk about what happened, but you don’t want to ruin dinner. Stalling, you’re good at it. Prolonging your agony perhaps but at least you’re buying a little more time to look at him. The man who was once you called home. “Dinner’s ready. Wine?” you want to kick yourself for offering alcohol when you want to talk about serious stuff. He nodded, showing his dimples. Your favourite…one of your favourite parts of him.

Dinner was fine but awkward. He tried to lighten up the mood by talking about the new album, the past concerts, the craziness of the guys, and how they get full schedule for the whole year. You are very proud of them, how they handle everything together all at once. “How are you, Y/N?” he suddenly asked. “I told you, surviving.” You replied. He nodded. “Listen..” you inhaled deeply. He sighed; he knows it’s THE TALK you’re going to have. “I’m sorry for bailing out.” You dropped your gaze on the floor, not wanting to see how devastated he is. “I should’ve tried harder. I should’ve... I should’ve fought harder. But I just couldn’t. I had to let go,” your tears begin to pool in your eyes. Your vision becomes blurry. He didn’t move. He didn’t say anything. So, you continued, “You were the nicest guy- RM or Namjoon. And I just can’t be with you. I can’t ruin you, Joon. I won’t forgive myself if that happens. I can’t defend you. I can’t…” “please, stop” he sighed. “It’s not on you, Y/N. I was too busy I forgot about you, your needs. My promises” he sighed. “I knew it won’t work. But at least we tried?” you whispered, sobbing. “We did,” he whispered too, voice starts to crack.

.

.

.

.

Months past, you focused yourself and everything into work that you never had any chance of thinking about what happened during that night. It was all dramatic but freeing. You stopped questioning everything and decided to move forward instead of dwelling in the past. He is doing well, too. You started to follow them on SNS again, started watching their new MVs and interviews. You smile once in a while, and ironically, their new songs comfort you. You were back being ARMY. Whatever happened in the past is far behind your control and concern right now. Besides, you are an ARMY first. You also started going to the places you once visited with Namjoon. Your favourite place to unwind and de-stress is the restaurant near Han River where you went on a dinner date. It was awkward at first, memories came flushing. But every time you set foot, it becomes your comfort zone. Plus the view is really relaxing and heavenly. One hell night, you were rushing to get away from all the stress of work, you drive all the way there only to be told that the whole place is reserved for VIP visitors. To your dismay, you sighed and stayed outside for a little while. While you were about to go home, someone called your name. “Y/N? Is that you?” You turned around and you were immediately enveloped into his hug. “Oh my! It is you! Wow!” Jimin giggled. “Jimin! Hi. Um, what…you’re here?” you asked in panicked. “Yes, the boys are inside. Come!” he pulled you. “I don’t think it’s a good idea, Chim.” You said shyly. “Oh don’t worry with Namjoon. He’s cool, he’s moved on. We know.” Your heart pains by his remark. “Yeah. But… I don’t know.” You hesitated. “Just drop and say hi then I’ll let you be. I promise. We just missed you having around.” He looked at you with puppy eyes, and who would not fall for that trick? Especially coming from sweet Jimin! You sighed and you let him lead you inside. “Look who I found outside!” Jimin screamed. They all looked at you, mouth wide open. You can’t bear look at them but you turned your gaze to Namjoon. “Y/N?” he stood up and walk towards you. “H-hi. I was about to go home. You guys enjoy the night.” You bowed to them and walk away, but Namjoon caught your arm. “No, no. Stay for a while. Join us. Right guys?” he asked them and they all nodded. You caught Yoongi’s eyes and he looks at you with angry look. You move your gaze to the floor, trying to contain your tears. “Yeah, Y/N. Join us” he said plainly. You know Namjoon felt the intensity of Yoongi’s words, too, but he shook it off. You smiled a little, unsure about Yoongi’s reaction. “So, Y/N. What have you been up to? Are you staying for good? Or you gonna run again?” he asked bitterly. “Hyung. Let’s not.. please drop it” Namjoon interrupted. The guys fell silent. You inhaled sharply, you were put in a hot seat, might as well give them what they want to hear. To hell with all the inhibitions and pretentions. “Look, I messed up, big time,” you started. “Y/N, we’re good. You don’t have to explain. We’ve already talked” he whispered. “No, Joon. We talked, but they didn’t hear me. They also need to know. What happened was not just between you and I. They were affected, too. I know.” You sighed. “I messed up. You’ve been so protective of me, of us. You did everything to keep my identity away from spying eyes. You protected me in a way I can’t protect you. I… I felt useless, I felt like a hindrance. I can’t come near you because I’m too afraid to be exposed. I can’t let myself ruin your career.” You swallowed hard before continuing.. “Namjoon went through a lot, I know how it feels because I got my heart broken too, you know. But you were there to console him, you have full schedule to at least help him get off his mind from me. I have nothing. I always had you to comfort me, but when it all happen, I can’t even listen to a single song nor can’t bear to say your name. You were my comfort, and I broke you. It’s selfish. I’m sorry. I will leave you be.” You started crying hard. Not giving a fuck of what you look like in front of everyone. You let your heart out, you’re

standing there vulnerable and looking pathetic but you don’t care anymore. You wanted to scream, you wanted to say you still care but you didn’t. You didn’t want to hurt them again especially Namjoon. “You know we are ready to risk everything just to see Namjoon happy again. He was doing well. Now, you’re here again? Why?” Yoongi asked without any emotions. “They offered me a job here. I know I should’ve rejected it. It’s dumb. But don’t worry, I will not get in your way.” You answered back. “That’s not what I meant, Y/N” Yoongi softens. He looked at you and to Namjoon. “Is there a tinge of hope when you accepted the offer, that Namjoon is part of why you accepted it?” he asked. You looked at Namjoon and started sobbing again. Because yes, you knew Seoul is home. You knew he was here. You didn’t expect nor look for him, but you let fate decide. You readied yourself of the possibility of bumping into him. Namjoon was about to hug you but you stepped back. “I can’t do this. Not again. I’m sorry” you bowed and run as fast as you could. Away from them. You opened up another wound, you did this. But you also felt relief for having the chance to explain to the guys why you did what you did. It’s for the best. Hopefully.

.

.

.

“So, since you’ve fully admitted to be an ARMY, can we please please please attend their concerts?”, begged Ligia when they announced the concert details few months after the storm within you had settled. “Concerts? You mean not just one day?” you asked bewildered. “YES! I’ve been saving up and finally getting enough money to go worldwide!!” she exclaimed proudly. You shook your head, “I don’t know. I have to look at my schedule first.” She screamed with excitement. “No promises!” you replied laughing. You fixed your schedule the next day you went to work, great thing concerts are scheduled during weekends. The ticket selling was nerve-wracking though! All your friends-ARMY or NOT, help you buy VIP tickets for both days. But Ligia seemed to be wanting more so with her constant nagging, you both applied for soundcheck for both days as well. And life gave you what you’ve wished for- both days with soundcheck privilege. “You’re one lucky, bitch!” she screamed when you told her you got them, unluckily for her she was not chosen. “Well, it was your idea!” you laughed, “I’ll sneak a photo or video for you” you tried to console her. “Namjoon,” she replied. All of a sudden, you gasp. “What??? I said I like Namjoon. Have photos or videos of him doing Bapsae please!” she begged. The memories of your first night came rushing on you. He was indeed great in that movement. You blushed as you tried to contain the giddy feeling taking over you. “Sure,” you managed to answer with cracking voice.

.

.

.

The day of the concert and you and Ligia were too excited and messy all at the same time. Her enthusiasm got over you as well as you both giggle with the posters you made and the outfit you’ve chosen for each other. You were planning something comfortable but Ligia won’t drop the lace and harness the boys were wearing during the previous concerts and concepts. “I’m not sure about this. We’ll be standing, screaming, dancing and crying in these tight outfits for 2 hours!” you screamed. “As long I catch Namjoon’s glimpse, I don’t fucking care!’” she screamed harder. Namjoon, looking at other girls with these outfit. Bitterness takes over. You sighed and let go. You’re not in any position to complain. He’s heavenly, and his dark gaze would turn anyone into feelings not known even to themselves. You shake your head to dismiss another thought of him. The que is outrageous as expected! But one thing that is amazing- ARMY strangers turn into friends the moment you’re in the que. They are all friendly and giddy and for a moment you know you’re part of something big, a family, a universe. And for what it feels like forever you are glad you’re alive in this lifetime witnessing history made by BTS. Ligia decided to come early even if she’s not part of the soundcheck, she wanted to meet all the ARMYs and started distributing gift and tokens to her new found family. You smiled and waved at her when it’s time to enter the soundcheck area. Adrenalin pumping all over your system, like it’s your first time seeing them. You smiled, trying to recall the happy memories you personally experience around the guys. One by one, the guys showed up. Hyping ARMYs and the crowd goes wild. You were screaming as well, and then he saw you. Out of all the crowd, his eyes dart on you. He looked at you from head to toe, and back to your face. You suddenly stopped and bit your lips. The boys were busy saying something to ARMY but here you are locking gaze with their leader. You saw him mouth WOW while looking at you- in a black tight leather mini skirt, mesh stockings. Red lace bralette topped with black leather jacket, choker and harness all over your body. You were cursing Ligia for making you wear such outfit but seeing Namjoon’s reaction made you feel glad. He liked it, clearly. Then Hoseok went to him and bumped him, signalling they’re about to start the soundcheck. Hoseok saw you as well and waved at you with wide eyes and silly smile. Only then you heard ARMYs screaming and you’re taken back to your senses. You pinched yourself and tried not to be too obvious with what’s happening in your body every time Namjoon looks at you. He’s sending butterflies, making your heart beat faster, taking your breath away. You remembered your promise to Ligia and took the risk of getting your phone out. It is prohibited though, but you don’t care anymore. You’re doing this not just for Ligia but for memories of what is happening to you, to him, right here. Like he knows what you are doing he went near to your area, winked sending all the ARMY screaming. Then for a moment, they rested and talked. Hoseok laughed and looked at you and all the members nodded. Jimin went to talk to the producers and Yoongi talked, “Okay this is not in the setlist but guess what?” and on cue, Bapsae played! “Shit” was all you can say as they disperse taking their own places in the stage. And a tease as he is, he chose in front of you. Your eyes widened and he showed his smirk, and you swore as you almost dropped your phone. He was at it- hard and wild. Making you sweat, swallow, squirm and trying to compose yourself. You reminded yourself once again of the reasons why you both decided to stop trying. You were fine, but damn Namjoon teasing you like this. You can feel the heat on your cheeks as he dances in front of you, locking gaze subtlety. He’s enjoying this, and whatever it is you are teasing him as well biting your lips and parting them with a sigh. He laughed and shook his head when the song ended. “WOOOOOOWWW! Amazing! See you later ARMYs!!!” screamed Jungkook. And that marks the

end of soundcheck. Before they went back, he glanced at you one more. You smiled.

You were out and showing the video to Ligia when suddenly you received a text. You quickly grabbed your phone away from her just in time the pop-up notification shows.

Namjoon: Wow. Lace and leather huh?

You: Ligia made me wear it.

Namjoon: Suits you well, Y/N.

You: Stop. I’m not going for the soundcheck tomorrow anymore!

Namjoon: you got 2 days? Just my luck

You: Rest.

Namjoon: See you later.

You furrowed your brows to his last reply but dismissed it anyway. “Who was that? You’re blushing!”, exclaimed Ligia. “No one.” You quickly deleted the messages and hand her your phone, “You want to finish the video or what?” She giddily takes it and melts in her own world.

After the concert, you felt as if you’re drained. Every time a concert ends, it’s like it brings you to a state of separation anxiety where you don’t know what else to do except re-live every moment. It goes like that all the time. You hang in there till the next time you get to hype with them, and longing starts to creep in. They were beyond amazing tonight, setting standards for concerts to the highest. Ligia was so happy and can’t stop talking about them, now confused more than ever between who her real bias is. “So, who’s your bias? I was too focused and I lost count how many times I swerve lanes tonight!” she exclaimed on your way to your apartment. “I don’t have one,” you answered honestly. “They all hit you in different ways, you know? So I threw that bias list and hype up to whoever that gives me the most feels in different situations.” She nodded. “So glad I was able to see them live. We’re lucky” she remarked. Yes, you are. And to your luck, you noticed a car parked outside your building. Great thing Ligia lives on the other building so you went separate ways. “See you tomorrow! And be sure to wear the outfit we’ve chosen or else..!” she bids as she runs to her building. Your eyes started to linger on the car parked. You don’t want to get your hopes up but who would park there with an unreleased Hyundai Palisade?

You dismissed the thought and continue walking towards your door.

Namjoon: 2 minutes

You ignored the message and decided to reply later as you settled in your couch to rest. But your rest was disturbed at exactly 2 minutes. When you opened the door, Namjoon entered quickly, looking back if someone saw him. “Shit, took you so long to go home,” he remarked. “Are you insane? Why are you here, Namjoon! Fuck, there are people outside! You’re trying to get Dispatch expose you, huh?” He laughed and sighed, basking in the sight of you and your concert outfit. Suddenly you became aware of what you have done to him. “No. Hey, this is fun. But Namjoon, we talked about this.” You tried to calm yourself but your voice is failing you, cracking because of how intense he looks at you. “Why did you go to the concert?” he asked. “I’m an ARMY and I missed seeing you perform.” He chuckled. “I- I mean all of you. Pft, not you alone! You know.. you and the boys, and..” you are shaking under his gaze. “Yeah, and why dressed like that? You know you’re attending soundcheck and it’s not crowded” he whispered. You swear his low, dark voice, would be your death. “Ligia’s fault.” “Hmm” he replied and walk closer to you. You tried to walk back, you really need to walk away. This is going to be messy and you made mental note of how this would ruin you and his career. You know better, you have to. But your body froze, your heart beats fast, your breath shallow in anticipation. The butterflies went swirling and your heart just keeps on failing you. You blame your hormones for being too wild tonight, for letting it take over the moment your eyes lock during soundcheck. The intense gaze while dancing, the memories of you having wild sex that winter. The urge, painful urge of longing for his touch. The feelings are all too overwhelming. He feels it, too. That is why he is here, risking everything just to see you. It’s not lust, it’s not just mere body craving. It’s the longing you both have been trying to contain. You both tried ignoring it when he went for closure. You know how much he strained himself not to touch you, kiss you. But tonight, all of the what if’s and risks are slowly fading. You crave for him. God knows how much you miss caressing his silky hair, kissing his soft velvety lips, playfully poking his dimples. Seems like he can read your mind, he sighed. “Y/N,” he whispered and touch his forehead to yours. “what are you doing to me?” “Joonie, I think…” you can’t finish your sentence. You just want to grab him and kiss him like it’s your last day on earth. “Baby, I want you back” he whispered, longing voice, almost begging. “I need you, Y/N. I need my yellow. When you left, I struggled a lot. I am good at hiding, but this time, seeing you here. I am willing to take the risk. Please, come back” he hugged you tight you can feel his heart beating fast. “Namjoon, we’ve talked about this. It’s a big risk for you and the whole group” you cannot deny the fact that you wanted him, too. You wanted him and willing to do whatever it takes, but what if you ruin his image? The group worked hard to where they are now. You can’t just take it away from them just because you are deeply in love with their leader. “We are all adults, we are humans. We are not perfect just as the society wants us to be. We need love, too” he whispered. You melted, like a butter your heart melts away. Who are you to deprive the love Namjoon deserves? Who are you to take his yellow away? You are coward, and you’re making him look pathetic to be begging for you. “Baby, I want to. You know how much I love you. But what if…” he didn’t let you finish. You admitted that you’re still in love with him through these years is enough for him. He slowly dip his face towards you, inch by inch you can clearly see him brightening, gaining his own beam of light. He loves you, you love him.

Whatever it takes, you throw all your worries away. You kissed him. You let your love and adoration to Kim Namjoon take over. The kiss was surprisingly slow, no rush despite the years of being apart. You take it all in, passion and pure ecstasy. His lips as soft as ever, his hands caress your back delicately as if afraid this is not real. It’s like your hand has a mind of its own, you caress his soft silver hair. His hands travels from your back to your waist and before you know it, he’s carrying you to the couch. You sit on his lap, aware of all that is happening inside his trousers and the heat building up between you. You need to feel him, you want him so bad you deepened the kiss. His tongue gently asking for permission, and you let him in. Soft moans and gasps are all you can hear in the silent living room. Before you could go any further, you break it. “Why?” he whispered. “You still have concert for tomorrow, Baby. And as much as I want you to spend the night here, I do. God, I really do. But I want to-“ “Let’s take things slow” he finished. He smiled sincerely and kiss you again, more passionate than ever. You nodded and he pulled you into a tight hug. “Oh how much I miss you, Y/N. I don’t want to let go.” He chuckled. “Me, too. So much that it hurts. But for now, you are RM. And as RM, you have to be at your 101% tomorrow. Today, you’ve been so rough and full of energy. I don’t want to have that energy all to myself tonight.” You teased. “But what about your outfit? I wanna ruin it, rip it off. Replace that choker with my hands” he whispered. “I love that. But not today” you teased back. He grunted but brings you into a tight hug. “So this means, you’re mine. Right?” he asked. “Silly! I am always yours, Kim Namjoon. Always.” You kissed him once more, savouring the feeling of being enveloped into the arms of your man once more. You were enjoying the comfiest hug when his phone buzzed. He answered but still holding you close. “Yes. I’m here at Y/N’s apartment. Shut up! No, I’m going back later. Let me fucking enjoy my girlfriend, Hoseok! STOP CALLING ME!” he laughed as he ended the call. “What was that?” you asked. “He keeps on asking if I’m coming home tonight or if I want to meet them at the stadium tomorrow instead” he chuckled. “Hoseok and his cuteness!” you giggled. “They missed you, you know. They saw you today, and they keep on bugging me to bring you there” he looked at you, asking for permission. “I missed them, too. But we’ll work it out. After what happened to Yoongi, I don’t know if I’m even welcome anymore,” you admitted. “Hey. Babe, it’s fine. When you left that night, we had discussions. They fully understand now. He even asked about you today. He saw you, too” he explained. “And…?” you bit your lips, bracing for a heart-break. “He wants to make up. So please come with me after the concert tomorrow?” he showed his dimples, acting cutely. “What if someone sees me?” you are worried and questions are starting to pile up again. “We got it covered, just like the old times. Besides, we’re adults. We’re all going to date one day, it just so happens that I got you first” he chuckled. You rolled your eyes on him, setting your head on his broad chest. “You’ve gotten big” you teased. “Wait till I show you. Now?” he whispered. “Not today” you laughed.

Your next concert outfit was the complete opposite of yesterday. You choose to wear BT21 pyjamas, complete with headband and other accessories. Since Ligia is wearing Koya, you chose to wear Chimmy. When Namjoon saw you at the soundcheck, he can’t stop laughing and even pointed it to Jimin, to which he almost rolls on the floor with too much laughing. It was fun seeing them doing the things they love, and seeing Namjoon so happy today. Others also noticed it by the amount of SNS updates of how he was looking so fine today and his dimples deeper than ever. To your surprise, they change some of the song line up for day 2. They added Outro: Her. You have mixed emotions over that song. The song he has written for you in under 20 minutes. You were on the phone then, and suddenly he interrupted you. “Wait, baby. I have something… stay on the line” The next thing you know, he was singing. His vocals that soothe you, and the sweet humming while he tries to put it all together. When it was complete, he let you hear it. “You’re the first to hear this demo. My HER” he said excitedly. “Also, your tear?” you asked sweetly. He chuckled, “yeah, my start and end”.

And now, hearing it after the breakup and now reconciliation, it hits you. All to different places but most importantly in your heart. He is so sincere and innocent and pure, and your heart swells with pride. Kim Namjoon, the philosopher, all yours. You look at him while he’s singing on the stage and it seems like he’s looking for someone- YOU. You were in barricade, so you are very near the stage. You screamed so loud even Ligia was startled. “KIM NAMJOON! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! I WOULD NEVER HURT YOU!” And just like that, he saw you. He beamed and went to you, continue singing. To others, it may seem normal as the boys usually do that-even to the point of taking videos of themselves using ARMYs phone. But to you, it’s different, it is special. He sit, looking at you while singing. You stood there, calmly crying while Ligia’s looking at you then Namjoon then back to you, while her eyes wide open and mouth dropping. It hits her. She knew. But you don’t care anymore. You only cared about Namjoon. Your universe. When the song ended, they did their ending spiel. One by one they thank ARMY for two amazing nights and promising to see ARMYs again. They are set for world tour and you brace yourself for another rollercoaster ride.

“WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?” Ligia shouted after the concert ended. “What was what?” you pretended to know nothing. “The fuck! Tell me the truth! How’d you know Namjoon? First the coffee shop, then random texts, and now HER?” Ligia interrogated. “You have to stop reading fanfictions! Jeez!” you tried to shake it off by laughing at her reaction. “Oh don’t give me that shit, Y/N! Truth, now” she demanded. “Look, I am so tired. Can we talk about this tomorrow?” you smiled reassuringly. “You were flirting with him on the stage! And..” she gasp. “What?” You look at where Ligia is looking. “Babe,” Namjoon called you, walking towards you. “What is happening. I’m going to pass out! You… he..” she can’t finish her sentence. “What in the world, Namjoon?” you scolded him in front of your frozen friend. “It’s taking too long. I had to steal you away from…?” Namjoon looked at Ligia. “L-Ligia” she answered like she’s under a spell. “That’s enough drooling over my man, Ligia” you jokingly warned. “What the fuck, you traitor! He’s my bias!” she said jokingly but internally screaming. “What about you two get in the car before dispatch comes here?” Namjoon whispered. You pulled Ligia with you, who is clearly still in shocked. You were both greeted by the security, no other BTS members. They must have been too tired or having after party. “Where to?” asked one bodyguard. “The restaurant near Han River please” Namjoon replied, enveloping you into tight hug and kissing you on your forehead. Ligia shriek by Namjoon’s gesture. “So.. you two? If you don’t mind me asking?” interrogated Ligia. The security answered, “All information about personal life of BTS members must be kept in private. Should there be breached with the member’s personal life, please know that you are held liable and may be called to address in the court.” “Holy shit. That strict huh?” Ligia replied. You and Namjoon chuckled, and the body guard cleared his throat. “You’re in this mess, girl. Sorry” you laughed. “I still have a lot of questions though” she insisted. You shook your head and smiled. “Shit, I should’ve went straight to my apartment!” she sighed. “I trust you. But by this time, Bighit might have your information. Shhh. So” you joked around. “For fucking real? I don’t want my visa to be revoked over this relationship.” She laughed. “We’re kidding. And yes, Y/N is my girlfriend” Namjoon answered. “Lucky you! I might start crying now” she replied, literally teary-eyed. “Hey, I’m not gonna take your bias-RM, away. Kim Namjoon is mine, RM is for all ARMY” you replied. He tightened his hug around you, “I think I’m the lucky one.” He kissed you in the forehead once again.

The dinner went well, with Ligia talking and asking about how cool being the biggest boy band right now, the groups plan for the future, and keeps praising them and thanking them for all the music and inspiration they give to everyone. Namjoon feeds her with details about the preparation from the concerts while subtly keeping his hands tightly wrapped around your waist. He doesn’t want to be rude but you know he wants to rest now. When Ligia run out of things to say, she finally retreats. “so, how am I going home now?” she chuckled. “We’ll drop you off your apartment.” Replied the bodyguard. “What about you, Y/N?” she asked. “Oh she’s coming with me.” Namjoon replied casually. Her eyes wide and smirked, “oh..” You shake your head with her reaction. “Seems like you both are ready to bed, wearing pyjamas at concerts.” Namjoon chuckled.

After dropping Ligia, you went to your apartment to get some stuff. You decided to visit the boys and celebrate with them before they go to intense rehearsals for their upcoming world tour. They’re going to the US for couple of months and you have decided to stay rather than go with them, besides work needs you here and you haven’t had time to file your leave. You’re okay with it. You have manage more than a year without seeing each other, what is months compared to it. At least now, you know he’s just literally around the corner when they’re back home.

The boys greeted you one by one. They are as welcoming as ever, and unlike the previous encounter at the restaurant, Yoongi came in hugging you and ruffling your hair. “Welcome home, Y/N” he said. “Oh Yoongi, I missed you. Sorry about-“ he didn’t let you finish. “Let’s forget about it. It’s done. We’ll start anew!” He pulled you in and you settled beside Namjoon as they set up their table for after party. “Oh shit, we have VLive schedule! We promised ARMY!” reminded Jin. “Oh okay, no worries. I’ll leave you guys alone. Will just roam around Namjoon’s room” you said goodbye to them and settle in his room, opening your Vlive as if you’re not in the same house with them. When they started the live feed, you noticed your bag near Namjoon. “Shit!!! ARMY eyes!” you immediately texted him informing about the bag. He stood up and clumsily took your bag away. Comments came rushing on VLive asking about the bag and Jin trying to find a perfect excuse. “I am fond of bags” Hoseok saved him. “You want to see what’s inside my bag? Maybe I’ll do that on the next VLive.” He added. Namjoon came running inside, giving you your bag. “I’m sorry” you lowered your gaze. “Hey, it’s all good, Baby. Just an excuse to kiss you, I’ve been dying to kiss you!” He kissed you passionately until you hear the boys shouting for Namjoon. He immediately ran out, hair dishevelled and Taehyung almost choke laughing. “Hyung, your hair. A mess! You must’ve-” the boys cut him out and he realized he almost spilled the tea. They all laughed and being silly talking about everything they love about ARMY, the concert, and how excited they are for the upcoming world tour. They promised to go on live during their breaks and will go home as soon as it’s over. “We know you will be waiting for us, we will come back as soon as possible!” Namjoon promised. “In an instant, yeah hyung?” teased Taehyung once more, sending Namjoon blushing, and his eyes nowhere to be found. “Gosh, these guys” you laughed.

After the VLive ended, you went out and joined them to their after-party. He couldn’t take his hands off of you, drawing circles on your lower back. They are already getting drunk- Hoseok turning into tomato red, Seokjin louder than ever, Yoongi being savage but turns out he is really funny, Jimin can’t barely open his eyes from too much laughing, Jungkook dozing off, Taehyung started to sing every song on their new album, and your man whispering how excited he is to be finally introducing you to his family. You almost choke at his plan. Meeting his family is a big deal especially in their culture. You can’t just bring someone without being sure of your future with her. “You’re probably just drunk. Come on, let’s go!” you tried to pull him up but his stronger. He pulled you on his lap and start kissing you. “So this is what were witnessing every day?” Taehyung remarked. “Hmm mmm” Namjoon replied, mouth still exploring yours. “AISSHHH! Get a room!” Yoongi shouted. “That’s hot!” remarked Hoseok. “Oh my god! Stop! I’m getting turned on!” joked Jimin. You laughed and tried to push Namjoon away but he deepened the kiss. “Show off! Just clean up after your mess. Not a single drop in the our common area!” Seokjin exclaimed. “Baby-stop” you managed to finally free yourself from Namjoon. He laughed and you can now clearly see the expressions of the members. They have their phone on both of you, probably taking photos and videos for blackmailing. “Stop it, you guys!” you said embarrassed. You covered your face and they all laughed. “We’re just happy you are finally here, Y/N. Really. Namjoon’s glowing again. And he’s writing tracks more than ever” Hoseok commented. “I’m never leaving. I’m here to stay” you reassured them. “You’re gonna live here? Great! But I’m serious about the rule- if you’re going to do it in all common areas, please clean up” Seokjin commented. “No! Just learn how to knock in my room and even my studio, especially you Jimin and Jungkook” Namjoon replied. They both nodded, and the night ended with more laughter and more beer.

You woke up with a very bad headache and it took you minutes to make up where you are. Too many KAWS figures, bonsai plants, paintings… “Namjoon?” you immediately called out his name but he’s nowhere to be found. You went out and the boys greeted you, the living room smells like pancake and the maknaes running around chasing after the last banana milk that Jimin is holding. “Where’s Joonie?” you asked Jin while helping him prepare the table for breakfast. “RKive I think” he replied. You went there and smile at the sight of your man. Brows furrowed, lips plumped, he’s clearly in the zone of making another track he didn’t even noticed you walked in. “Baby, do you want to have your breakfast here?” you politely asked, trying not to disturbed him. “Oh, sorry I didn’t notice you, babe. Good morning, sunshine!” he enveloped you into tight hug and kissed your forehead. “What are you up to?” you asked, noticing the emptied coffee cups on his desk. “Working on new tracks. There are so much to do, I don’t want to miss the ideas that came rushing this morning” he pulled you into his lap and wrapped your arms around your waist. “Breakfast first, please? I don’t want you get sick especially you’re going away” you pouted. “Hmm, what about dessert first?” he whispered. You furrowed your brows, not sure if you have the same meaning of dessert. “What dessert?” you innocently asked. He pointed at his groin, which you notice a big tent. “Oh, need help with that?” you replied playfully. He winked and in an instant you pulled yourself up from his lap, turned his chair around and dropped on your knees. “Fuck,” he chuckled while quickly letting his fleece shorts drop. You are still amaze by the sight of Namjoon’s huge dick despite having to ride it many times before. The years without him, you haven’t forgot this amazing view and you’d relive it a million times. But right here, right now, you can’t help but be thankful of following your heart rather than living in what if’s. “Are you just gonna stare at it?” he chuckled. “You’re a god.” You managed to reply before slowly running your tongue along his shaft. You could hear his deep moans. He grabbed your hair to have better view of how you beautifully you suck his dick. You take it all in, tasting his sweet-salty precum. You circled you tongue on his tip, gently running from side to side, trying your best to please your man. “Fuck, Y/N. You’re so fucking hot!” he managed to say in between his gripped teeth. Jaw clenching, and clearly trying not to go deeper to hurt you, you gathered all the courage and deep swallowed him whole until you can feel it at the back of your throat. His eyes were wide and he tightened his grip on your head “Shit baby! You’ve been a practicing?” he has a tinge of annoyance in his voice. You’re taken back to that night when you first had sex, it was still new to you. “hmm” you replied, sending the vibrations to every inch of his thick manhood. You let go for a second to catch your breath. “No, sir. It was you, only you!” And that’s the truth. No matter how intense your longing for him or any human touch, you’ve never bed a guy even after your break up. You can’t think of sucking other dicks except Namjoon’s. “Such a good girl,” he managed to reply before you started sucking him again. Namjoon’s moan is all you can ever hear in his studio and you start bobbing your head faster, determined to make him cum in your mouth. “Shit baby. I’m cumming… fuck.. Y/N ahh” he filled your mouth with his warm, heavenly juice. You looked at him and swallowed, making sure no drip on the carpet. You suck him clean! “Fuck that is so freaking hot!” he exclaimed while guiding you back to his lap. “Your turn, baby” he whispered. You bit your lips and gently shook your head. “What? Why? I want to make you feel good.” He pleaded. “Tonight, my love. You have full access” you teased and bit his earlobe. He groaned and laughed, pulling you closer to him.

You went out after Jin keeps on knocking, telling the food is getting cold. They were all shocked and started laughing when you emerge. “What the hell are you laughing at?” Namjoon answered. “You realized your door was not closed yeah?” Hoseok exclaimed, chuckling. You buried your self in Namjoon’s back in embarrassment, prayed that a UFO is real and that they’ll suck you up any second now. “Shit sorry” chuckled Namjoon. “Pft, it’s alright. It’s not like Hoseok has been silent during sex, too” Taehyung respond. “Hoseok?” you looked at his innocent smile. “Shut up, Taehyung. It was a one-night stand!” he yelled back laughing. You shake your head over their mischievousness, somewhat it comforts you. They are adults, indeed. And they need skin ship, too, like everyone else. Sometimes, seeing them playfully talk about adult stuff and just being their own selves inside their house makes me feel like they have another persona. Being an idol must’ve been tiring, especially they started too young, and society has been very keen to each move they make. You settled down and joined them for breakfast, thinking about how lucky you are to be spending these days with them.

World tour preparation was tiring, even for you. You decided to go home that night but Namjoon asked you to come back. “I really wanted to make up to you, spend the days here before we go for the tour. Please, baby?” he whispered with his cute little puppy eyes. You can’t help but say yes to his cuteness. He giggled like a playful kid before calling the security to drive you up in your apartment and pick few clothes and stuff. On your way back, you decided to buy the boys some ice cream cake and banana milk. It’s a small gesture as a thank you gift for welcoming you again in their home and being so supportive of you and Namjoon. Jimin yelp in joy when he saw the ice cream cake, and Jungkook immediately take the banana milk, carefully labelling each for the members. Jin continues to impress you with his cooking skills, making you feel embarrass for not cooking deliciously as he does. “Aish, Y/N! You will learn through the years. Even if you and Namjoon get married, you will still be with us so I can teach you all the cooking skills!” he said proudly. You blushed at the thought of you and Namjoon and marriage, but it’s too early to tell. You’re still starting over, testing waters,, though you are quite sure you can see him in your future. You noticed him missing again, while the guys are gathered up for a movie marathon. And then suddenly, Vlive notified you that BTS is live. You opened the notification and you see him showing off his new collections in his studio. You smiled proudly as he talks about the future plans of BTS and the new tracks he’s working on. Somewhere though, in the middle of his VLive he showed a pair of baby shoes. He said it’s for his collection, accessory of some sort. The tiny brown baby shoes! “Wooopppss, someone’s planning for the future.” Laughed Taehyung. “Oh my, you’re pregnant Y/N????” asked Jimin. “NO! no no no no no! Oh my god no!” you said blushing. “You can tell us. Are we going to be fathers?” insisted Hoseok. “No….I don’t know. No!” you said laughing. It is impossible, you haven’t had sex yet. But of course, you can’t say that to them, a little privacy is precious especially living with them. You immediately sent him a message:

You: Kim Namjoon, are you out of your fucking mind? The boys are grilling me now asking if THEY ARE GOING TO BE FATHERS?! WTH does that even mean?

You saw him on Vlive reading something and he laughed. You are not sure if he’s reading vlive comments or he’s reading your message. Either way, you have forgiven him for such silliness, especially seeing him how he brightens up when he showed the baby shoes. One day, someday, Joonie you promised yourself. When the VLive ended, you stared at him trying to look mad. He laughed and scooped you from your sit, twirling you around before sitting and putting you on his lap. You saw Taehyung grinning as if thinking of mischievous things. “So, baby shoes huh?” he started. “Taehyung, stop. I am not pregnant” you laughed. “Well, not for now.” He replied making you shake your head. “When that time comes, we will let you know, Tae” Namjoon reassured, “But for now, Y/N are going to bed. Might as well you guys too. Long day ahead tomorrow. Meeting with Bang PDnim and the tour team.” He added. The guys all had mischievous smiles as they say their goodnights to you.

“Urgh today’s tiring, and I missed you!” he whined. “I was just out to get my stuff, you missed me already? What will happen to you when you’re in tour?” you asked. “Come with me?” His question came as a surprise. “Baby you know I can’t do that. People will start to wonder.”

“But what if Bighit hires you?” he insisted. “As what? Translator? You already know English. You’ve been doing it since then.” You laughed at the idea of being their translator. “No, no, baby. You’re needed. I’ll talk to Bang and-“you didn’t let him finish. You put one finger on his mouth to make him drop the topic. “Baby, I’m okay with my work now. And if you ask Bang PDnim, he might refuse. Code of conduct, all the policies..you know.” You sighed. “But you’re my girlfriend before they hire you, so technically we didn’t breach employee policies?” His being a smart-ass on this one, he has a point though. “I would love to stay by your side all the time, but it will look like a huge favour and special treatment especially I am your girlfriend” you insisted. “Just please try?” he kissed your forehead. He’s not going to drop this of until you sighed and nodded. He smiled sweetly and kissed you. It was a sweet, passionate kiss at first but the moment you hold unto his neck, you can feel the heat throughout your body. It’s been too long, way too long, that you’ve been wanting to feel him. You cannot hold on any longer so you deepened the kiss. You heard him let out a moan, a cue that he wants what you want as well. Tongues teasing, lip-biting. His hands roamed around your body, tightened his grip on your waist and gently laid you on the bed. “Lock the door!” you reminded him. He jumped as quickly, almost tripping which made you giggle at his clumsiness, and in less than 5 seconds he’s back on top of you. “Oh finally! All mine!” he whispered, almost ripping his shirt as he struggled to get off. You can feel your core getting hot, with every kiss and touch. He bites your lips teasingly, making you moan. You deepened the kiss getting as aggressive as he is. He found your sweet spot on your neck, sucking and biting, leaving marks as he goes down to the curves of your breast. He removes your dress in one swift motion, leaving you in your lace bra and panties. His gaze turning dark as he roams his eyes through your breast down to your core. “So fucking gorgeous! And all mine!” he whispered as he licks your cleavage making you tighten your grip on his hair. “and fucking taste good, too" he added. You prepared for this night, wearing a front-lock red brassiere that screams fuck me daddy. “Strip for me", he commanded. “Hmm, all bossy are we?” you teased. “Do it or you’re not gonna have any of this" he grinned while removing his boxers. His dick hard, reddish, and ready. You bit your lips and stood up. “Don’t make a move, don’t dare touch yourself “ you commanded. Two can play this game, you thought. He grinned and positioned himself on the bed frame. You slowly pull one strap, so slow he groaned. You are basically eye-fucking him, if there’s even a thing. To his surprise, you started slow dancing as you unlock your bra. Throwing it in front of him. You can hear him groaning and trying hard not to touch himself with your own little show. “Fuck, baby. I can’t wait to slide my cock on that” he growled. “hmmm I’d love that. Can’t wait to feel the friction here…” you touched your nipples and slowly caress your breast. You glide your hands on your stomach, “and here, too. Your hot mouth sucking, biting…” You slowly, soooo slowly, shake your hips to get out of your lace underwear, “your tongue, fingers, and your hard cock here" you were about to touch your self but he grabbed you, spinning you around, dropping you on the mattress. You moaned by his aggressiveness and eagerness. “Oh Baby, can’t wait to fuck you hard, you’ll be sore for days!” he whispered as he playfully bite your nipple. “oh shit, Joon!” you moaned. You can feel your core dripping. You needed some friction. You started grinding getting ready to take whatever Namjoon’s going to offer. “Look at you so needy" he suck your breast so hard you know it’ll leave marks and bruises the next day. You tried pulling him, scratching his porcelain skin. “Baby, pleasssee" you beg. “Say it. What do you want, Princess?” he grinned. “touch me! Fuck Namjoon. Or…or thighs! Friction. Now!” you

almost scream. He chuckled and pulled you, making you sit on one of his thigh. “You asked for thigh. Thigh is all you get" You take it, whatever that could satisfy your longing. You grind, not minding the mess and juice scattered on his precious well-tone thigh. “fuck, I can feel your wetness! You’re wild!” he chuckled. “shut up, suck me" you guided his head on your neck. You want him to leave marks all over your body, a mark that signs you’re his and he’s yours. And he did. You moaned by the intensity of each bite, but it’s not enough. “fuck me, baby. Hard" You’re almost begging. “thought you’d never ask" he replied.

He guides you and you slowly sink into his long, thick, hot rod. Your wetness helping you both settle, adjusting to each other. “shit your tight. And wet..god Y/N” he moaned. With each grunt and moan and sucking he does, it gives you more courage to be rough at him, too. You started circling your hips, and he let’s you do as you please. He tightens his grips into your waist and pumps you until you both find your rhythm. “baby, I'm cumming" you bite his shoulder to muffle your own moan. “Go ahead, baby. Cum for me. You’re a hot mess and fuck I love you so much!” he continued going deeper and deeper until you reach your high. “Turn around, hold here" he guides your hands to the bed frame and lifts your butt, slapping it before sinking in real deep. “fuck Namjoon!” you yelped with the sudden sting, but it feels you nice you have to ask again. He circled his hips, hard and deep, one hand on your waist and the other in your boob. Too much sensation, overwhelming and with every thrust you can hear the bed frame creaking. You had to try not to scream with each thrust, so you suck on Namjoon's finger instead, biting it at the process but he didn’t care. He’s too focus riding you and making sure you hear his praises about you and moaning your name. “baby, where do you---" you didn’t let him finish his question, you tightened your walls around him making him moan louder “inside!” you replied. You reach your high at the same time, moaning each other’s name. He gently pressed and massage your navel as you come to stop, making you feel good as you both calm down. “Wow baby!” he chuckled as you both collapse to the bed. He flips you over and kissed your forehead, then your lips. As sweetly, passionately, and heavenly. “I love you, Y/N” he whispered on your lips. “I love you, my Namjoon" you replied, making him blush.

“I missed fucking you that hard,” he chuckled, as you both catch your breaths. “We have all the time, baby!” you responded, enveloped in his arms. “But… how are we going to explain the ripped sheets?” you added. “We might need to stock up linens here from now on,” he replied.

After cleaning up, he went out to look for fresh linens. Luckily, the guys are all asleep now, more like you prayed they’re really asleep now, realizing how hard and loud he made you cum. “Baby, please consider joining us in our tour? Even just this leg? I can’t bear a day without you..not again?” he whispered when you’re both settling to sleep. “I promise. I’ll take a vacation leave and if it’s approved, I’ll come. Don’t get your hopes up just yet. I’m not going to drop my work; I’ll just try being your translator for this leg.” He made a cute face, the one that his dimples are showing, eyes closed, and then getting shy right after. Your heart melts every time he does that and wonder how lucky you are to have him in your life. Yes, you are never going to let go. Not anymore. He deserves the world, he deserves someone who he can share the real Namjoon with, someone who will be his shoulder through ups and downs. Someone who can accept all the flaws and cons of dating someone like him. You are ready to fight for him, against all odds. You are ready to give your life to Kim Namjoon.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Author's note: Planned to end it here but I guess I'll be making Part Three soon 😂🤷‍♀️

[thechosenburrito]

The Heart Gambit (Dennor): 5-Too Clever by Half

Word Count: 1,460

Description:

Lukas and Mathias agreed to go to the park together, but are bogged down thinking about personal issues.

Author’s Note:

Yessss more Dennor.  I’m having so much fun writing so I hope you guys like it.  I’m so excited to write more this summer so let me know what you want me to write more about!  Notes, asks, and comments mean so much!

Previous: 4-Treat me like a Fool

.

.

.

The sun peeked between the curtains in Lukas's room.  He stirred a bit, regretting the promise he made to Mathias.  He pulled himself out of bed and started heating some water for coffee.  It was, unfortunately, instant coffee but it was the best thing he could do considering the circumstances.  He threw open the curtains to let the light fill the room and was met with complaints from Emil.

"You know, just because you get up at the ass crack of dawn, doesn't mean the rest of the world does." Emil groaned as he rolled over in bed.

"I'm making coffee."

Emil set up and started pulling on some day clothes.

"I hate you."

Lukas poured two cups of instant coffee and left one on the nightstand next to Emil.

"I hate you less now."

Lukas sat at the edge of his bed and looked out the window.  He sipped his coffee and began thumbu=ing through the book at the foot of his bed.

"I take it you're up this early because you're going to the park with Mathias," Emil said, blowing on his coffee?

"You heard that?"

"I had my ear pressed to the door of course I did."

Lukas closed the book.

"Well, I did promise to go.  That doesn't mean I wanna go," Lukas replied in a bit of a huff.

Emil stood up and pulled on a shirt.

"Yeah but you can still say no."

"I know that."

Emil sat back on the bed and started trying his shoes.

"Well, then if you don't wanna go, call him and cancel."

"I'm not gonna do that."

"Why not?"

"Because..."

"Because you wanna go."

"I didn't say that-"

"Admit you wanna go with him!" Emil almost screamed, pulling on a jacket.

"Why are you like this!?...and where are you going?" Lukas said, looking up from his book to see that Emil was fully dressed and heading towards the door.

"You need to admit that you have feelings for 'that asshole' because you keep repressing it and messing with your brain!  It's just gonna make your life worse to ignore it."  Emil said opening the door.

"And I'm going sightseeing.  We're in Italy, and I'm probably never coming back here again so I'm gonna enjoy it."

"Have fun on your little park date or whatever." 

Emil stepped out and closed the door behind him.

Lukas stood up from the table and threw himself back on the bed, burying his face in his hands.

"What's wrong with me?" he muttered under his breath.

Was this a date? No, right?  Definitely not a date.  It was just two people going to a park to hang out.  Two people who just so happened to be competing in the biggest Chess competition in the world.  Two people who also happened to share an oddly intimate moment yesterday.  Wait that sounded wrong.  Not like that.  He rolled over in the bed.  It's fine, they're just friends.  What's the worst that could happen?  If Mathias didn't have feelings for him then everything would be fine.  Lukas would just keep living his life and after the competition, he would never have to see Mathias again.  But if Mathias did have feelings...things would be much more complicated.  As much as spending his life with Mathias, maybe getting a house somewhere, or traveling the world, it just wouldn't work out.  The media would be all over it.  Not to mention what would happen to Emil.  But most of all, when Lukas really thought about it, he just had too many flaws to be in a relationship.  Maybe but Mathias did like him, but not really him, some kind of strange idealized version of him.  Maybe that's what happening, Lukas didn't love Mathias, did he?  Was it even real?  If it wasn't real, would he think about him this much when the literal biggest match of his life was only days away?

Lukas let out a long sigh and rolled out of bed.  He pulled on his clothes and made his way to the door.  He wasn't getting Mathias out of his head by sitting around in his room.

- - -

Mathias rolled over in bed to snooze his alarm.  He'd already done this 3 times and regretted telling Lukas to meet him so early in the morning.  But he figured that Lukas was probably more a morning person and would think he's weird for getting up at noon.

Mathias groaned and dragged himself out of bed.  He hissed, half-jokingly, as he drew open the curtains to see that the sun had just barely risen completely.  He made his way to the bathroom, catching a glance at a notepad he had been writing on the night before.  Last night's phone call with Alfred came back all at once.

"So you're telling me you DIDN'T talk to him yesterday."

"I...no I didn't get to.  His brother showed up, but Lukas never did."

"*sigh* ...you're killing me here Mathias."

"Hey, I tried!  It's not my fault he didn't show!"

Mathias started brushing his teeth.

"I know I know...look you just need something on him!"

"I thought this was about getting in his head and figuring out his strategies.  You know, so I can actually win?"

"Look there's been a change of plans."

He started styling his hair.

"What kind of change?"

"Well...I've been thinking about it, and you don't have to win the match on Sunday."

"What are you talking about?"

"Look, if you win on Sunday, everything will be great!  You'll have the title, maybe you do a few commercials, a couple of brand deals, the whole shebang! ...but if you lose... it doesn't have to be a deal-breaker anymore!  If you can dig up something on the other guy we can maybe... um... make it so that... you know..."

"You want to frame him for cheating?"

"Woah Woah Woah!  That's your idea, not mine haha...  Of course, we wouldn't frame him for cheat... but we could sure take the wind of his win you know... make you look like you were against the odds..."

Mathias started pulling on his clothes and putting on his shoes.

"Look I don't need that, man.  I'm a good player."

"No yeah no I know that.  I'm not talking about that.  I'm talking about finances., deals, the money!"

"And I'm talking about me winning the match."

"Since when did you care about winning?"

"I don't!"

"Well, you don't care about winning, and it's sounding like you don't care about money, so what do you care about then!?"

Mathias checked his reflection and headed to the park.

- - -

Lukas was huffing and puffing.  He hadn't realized how much walking with going to the park would involve.  He looked around and came to the realization that he was so far into the park that he had no idea where he was.  He just kept wandering around until he eventually saw a small lake.  There was a bench at the edge of the lake with someone sitting on it.  Lukas didn't care who it was, at that point, he knew his knees were about to buckle.  He made his way over to the bench and sat down on it.

"Sorry... if I bothered you... I just really... needed a break," Lukas said, trying to catch his breath.

Lukas turned to see that it was, in fact, Mathias.  He was digging in a paper bag for a slice of bread.

"I mean, you're not bothering me!  Considering I asked you to come!" Mathias beamed, passing him a slice of bread.  "I was getting a little worried 'cause I realized that I forgot to tell you where to meet me.  But hey!  You made it!"

Lukas smiled a bit.  He looked at the slice of bread Mathias handed to him.  It was a bit stale, but he wanted to be polite.  He took a bite of the bread.

"Woah what are you doing!"

"...eating..."

Mathias laughed.

"No silly!  That's for the ducks!"

Lukas swallowed.

"Oh."

Mathias started tearing pieces of bread and tossing them into the water.  Ducks and their ducklings paddled their way over to the edge of the small lake and started picking at the pieces of bread.  Lukas did the same, occasionally holding his hand out to Mathias for another piece of bread. 

Lukas yawned, remembering that he only had one sip of coffee.  Was he really sleeping that badly all the time?  He rested his head on Mathias's shoulder and felt himself blush.

"Heh... uh... you know I think I heard somewhere that you're supposed to feed them seeds and not bread.  I think bread is bad for them or something..."

Mathias's voice faded out as Lukas drifted off on Mathias's shoulders.

.

.

.

Next Chapter: 6-Someone else’s Parasite (Coming Soon!)

A/N:

This is technically late but I had fun writing it that’s all that matters!

I’m going to take this time to plug my non-hetalia work “ Intro to Love ” (on Wattpad) about a college student who struggles to keep her superpowers a secret and while making new friends.  How much of her normal life will she give up to save her friends from a mysterious villain that drains students’ brains and turns them into zombies?  The complete Chapter 1 is out NOW AND so is Chapter 2.1-'The last of the Good Days’!  Go read them!  Right now!   They’re waiting for you!  Chapter 1.1 is here on my tumblr!

Thanks again for reading! Send some feedback my way! Can’t wait to continue this story!

Quotev link: here

[opalmaplehibiscus]

Roses are Red, Violets are blue – Riddle Discovered Romance Exists and that He’s in Love Too~

**Note: Anon, I’m so sorry for taking so long to write this ㅠoㅠ I really like Riddle as he’s in my top 5 list of characters like, so I hope I did him justice OTL

HC of Riddle x Reader

·       When Riddle first meets you at the welcome ceremony, already from the first glance, he was 100.31415% sure that he didn’t like you

·       You were a trouble maker, chaos-maker, a person who likes to wreck-havoc. In other words, something Riddle absolutely despised – a rule breaker

·       He was expecting, ok-hoping for you to not be accepted as an NRC student by the headmaster. Not only were you a rule breaker, you couldn’t even use magic. It wouldn’t make sense for you to be accepted

·       When he sees you sitting at  lunch with Ace, it proved to him 2 things. 1. You just further proved to him that you were someone he doesn’t want to get close with and 2. The headmaster is as brainless as ever

·       He doesn’t expect to see you come with Ace to deliver a marron tart on the day of the Unbirthday Party

·       Despite how he had reacted, he felt touch that you had come to deliver a tart for him. Yet, rules are law

·       It took everything in him to not flinch when he hears a passing comment from Cater how you and the other 3 trouble makers even had to pick fresh chestnuts to make it. To think someone who wasn’t even in his own dorm decided to help out to make a tart for him…

·       But the feeling of guilt disappears when you, someone magicless, calls him stupid for following the rules! The nerve you had for saying that he was stupid for following the rules that the Queen of Hearts made!

·       He usually didn’t discipline anyone outside the dorm of Heartslabyul unless it was something he witnessed and in regards to the general NRC school rule. He made an exception though when you refused to say “Yes, Dorm Leader”

·       You were in Heartslabyul and as the saying goes, “In Rome, do what the Romans do”. Through his anger, he’s still able to rational think how unreasonable he was being to apply his magic on someone magicless

·       For the rest of the day, the memory replays in his head of how he,  for the first time in his whole life, hesitated casting magic on someone. It didn’t help that the feeling of his hand shaking didn’t disappear

·       When you appear the next day for the duel, he suddenly felt self-conscious. He didn’t know why, but every time he was in front of you, he suddenly had the urge to look proper to you

·       He wanted to show you how much pride he takes in being the perfect honor student as well as nearly coming close to having the perfect image of the Queen of Hearts, herself

·       …Yes. Riddle, at the time, was wanting to look cool in front of you

·       The shame and deep embarrassment he faces when Ace punched him and calls him a baby in front of you of all people…The person he wanted to impress and gain acknowledgement from. And it didn’t help that everyone else didn’t think that was enough before an egg hits him on the head

·       After he OBs, he wakes up lying in your lap though he doesn’t notice as he continues to feel that the world was spinning

·       What he does notice was you hugging him as he cries from guilt, stress, and everything he held inside while patting his head. He refuses to admit that it comforted him, though it causes him to cry harder as he never once was given affection before

·       During the time he was recovering, when Trey and Cater tells him how you were the one that proposed to save him as soon as he OBed, his eyes turned soft from again, being touched, guilty, and confusion

·       He didn’t understand why you had chosen to help him. He knew that his first impression on you was not impressive at all. Yet you saved him

·       On Ace’s birthday, he has fun painting the roses with everyone while getting some sort of redemption on trying to look good in front of you

·       But, when he gave everyone his failed tarts, he wanted to dig a hole and get in it. He’s finally able to make himself look good and it’s none other than himself that ruins it in no less than an hour. Someone, please, help him

·       Seeing you continue to eat the failed tart, he tries to stop you. But jokes on him, when you tell him how the tart was something he made for everyone, which made it still delicious, he blushes

·       He only turns redder when he catches a certain Heartslabyul group talking behind his back

·       Ace: Oh my gosh, I think our Ryocho has a crush on the Prefect Deuce: What? No wa-actually, it really does seem like it, huh Grim: That’s unacceptable! I don’t want Y/N to date a guy like that! That would mean I won’t get as many tuna cans compared to now! Cater: Uuuuhhhhh, you guys should quiet down or else-

·       Riddle makes sure to punish them by lecturing them for 3 hours about respecting their seniors

·       He nearly uses his Unique Magic again when Ace points out how his height makes him look like a middle schooler

·       A few days later, when he sees you checking up on Trey because of his injury, Riddle felt touched from it

·       It made him happy and help the guilt inside him lessen seeing that there were many people that cared for his friend. Especially, from you

·       When he hears you were investigating about the incidents that were happening, he starts wanting to help you. Other than the reason of trying to find the person who used their magic on him and caused Trey to get injured, he didn’t want to lose the opportunity to get closer to you

·       It seemed like fate was against him though when he gets embarrassed by Floyd as he gets called by that cursed nickname and then had to run away from the eel twins

·       However, the fact that he was able to spend his day with you made him happy nonetheless

·       He doesn’t realize this but he starts to become more conscious about you – taking note of how you wear your uniform, hold your bag, etc

·       Listen, he’s more conscious because he acknowledges you as a fellow dorm leader that’s all! It’s totally not because he actually likes you!

·       Yeah, that’s why he fixes your tie and gives you the advice about keeping appearance! Because as fellow dorm leaders, they were the ones to set the image of being proper honor students in NRC! That’s. All!

·       He starts questioning if everything he did in the past is coming to bite him back now when he tries to catch Ruggie but ends up getting his pen stolen.

·       Was it too much to ask of him to look cool in front of you once? Once?

·       Cater: Riddle… I know you’re trying to look cool in front of Y/N but.. Riddle: But what? Cater: …Nothing

·       Cater didn’t want to face Riddle’s wrath like how Ace and Deuce did. He’s a wise man

·       He feels this again but this time with veins popping on his head when he finally gets Jack to agree to his plan and make it work only to lead to Leona to OB

·       He never has ever felt the urge to just crouch down while covering his face with his hands until now

·       When he sees Leona attacking everyone, all thoughts disappear as his worry for everyone’s safety, especially yours becomes his priority

·       He wanted to tell you to run away, go somewhere safe. But he doesn’t because he knows you’ll end up staying to save everyone

·       And this cycle repeats. When he finds out how you made a deal with Azul and the latest being you getting kidnapped at Scarabia, he wants to yell at you

·       He worries, he panics over your wellbeing. But what’s worse was that he can’t even tell you because he knows he isn’t any position to say so

·       The frustration that builds up in him leads him to take it out on anyone who annoys him, especially on those who gives him the biggest headache cough Ace and Deuce cough

·       It doesn’t help that he doesn’t understands why he worries about you

·       You always break the rules, get in trouble, and try to save others nonstop. You put yourself in danger for the sake of other’s when no one is willing to do that for you

·       Ever since you extended your hand towards him, all he’s been wanting was to show you the better side of him – to get you to become closer to him

·       BUT! EVERY! SINGLE! TIME! He tries getting closer to you, he was blocked

·       Fairy Gala – misses the opportunity to see you in your gorgeous outfit - He ends up getting a picture of you in it (it totally wasn’t a bribe from Idia, who was trying to get out of a dorm leader meeting. He was just following the school rules of confiscating all pictures that weren’t allowed to be taken in the school. That’s all)

·       Bean’s Day – Didn’t know the two of you were on the same team - He screamed into his pillow that night when he found about it. You literally were on the same team as him so he had a full, bloody chance to hang out with you. Alone. Just the two of you. Curse Jack and Azul for catching him. He’ll get back at them. He swears on the Queen of Hearts name he will.

·       Things worsen for him as he starts having the urge to hold your hand or want to get to know you. Do you like tarts just like he does? Were your hands soft just like how they look? Do you like to tie your tie in a bow like him or do the traditional Windsor?

·       Did he ever mentioned that he wanted to go “Off with Your Head” on Crowley and Floyd? No? Oh well, he does. And he will. Especially after what happened during that “weird ghost princess’s” marriage

·       He would like to say that he’s not short. He’s smart, considerate, knows what to do and not to do – height shouldn’t matter it’s the quality that does

·       He’s not self-cautious about his height. Nor is he worried about how well he fits into the “ideal” prince aka ideal marriage partner

·       He just wants to show that he’s capable of being a romantic partner! Because as dorm leader, he has an image to uphold especially since he’s closest to the Queen of Hearts!

·       In the end though, all of that turns out to be excuses. He realizes how much he enjoys your presence - how much he likes talking to you, hanging around you, getting to enjoy things without feeling judged or afraid of breaking rules

·       He feels like himself, his trues self, when he’s around you

·       And after listening to what Ace said to Eliza (yes, he remembers her name), he realizes that he sees you as someone like that

·       Realizing that he actually fell for you, his heart speeds up and his face reddens when you come up to him to congratulate him on the success

·       He knows that he doesn’t tell you now, he won’t ever have the chance to tell you. Especially since apparently, people like to block him from evening getting an inch closer to you

·       After looking down and seeing the bouquet in his hands still in good condition, he sends Cater off before he starts taking you towards Sam’s shop

·       He ignores your questions, before he stops right in front of the shop

·       His heart speeds up and nervousness washes over him. But he steels his resolve after thinking about how he’ll never have another chance

·       Getting on a knee, he places a right hand on his heart while offering the bouquet with his left

·       He confesses how ever since you helped him when he OBed, he started to have feelings for you. He never thought about it at first, but overtime the feelings started to grow despite him not realizing it. And today, he realized he fell for you

·       He talks about how he’s never experienced what it’s like to confess and love someone. Yet he promises you on his own name as well as the Queen of Heart’s name that he will devote his entire being to you – never lying nor betraying your heart

·       He says the he understands if you can’t accept being his, however, if only you acknowledge his feelings for him – at least be aware, he’s satisfied

·       Or would’ve if it weren’t for the fact that half way through, he’s suddenly pulled up towards you

·       His eyes widen as he feels your lips on his, actually k-k-kissing him

·       Once the two of you broke away, he looks at you in a daze, not understanding what had happened until he hears you saying that he didn’t have the right to make decisions for you and that you liked him back

·       He blushes to the point his face rivals the color of his hair before he drags you into another kiss out of happiness and absolute love

·       He’s about to say he loves you before he hears something behind the bushes

·       Deuce: OH MY GREAT SEVENS – RIDDLE RYOCHO  ACTUALLY Ace: SHHHHHH YOU’RE GOING TO GET US IN TROUBLE! Although, I have to say, I didn’t think Ryocho had it in him to actually confess Grim: NOOOO MY CANS OF TUNE Cater: whistles Wow~ Riddle and Y/N is a thing then~

·       He makes a mental note to give them punishment as he gets kissed again by you, happily returning it