Headcanon: Deep down they both want to be their fairy godparent/godkid again after losing them, but don't believe they deserve each other and feel like they aren't worthy to be their companion anymore
They both need counseling and therapy as a whole package
Fanart inspired by this fanfic (NSFW) made by @theomnicode
(READ IT, IS AMAZING ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝))
Also hey, I'm not dead :D (read the notes for info)
Have a hot sneak peak:
Disgustingly messy and crusty sketch dump but I couldn't get my own terrible theory out of my head and ended up making a bunch of sketches about it. Also at the end a bonus dickbats and Damian doodle bc I was reading an issue of their Batman and Robin run (IDs in Alt)
Nico and Percy's dynamic through the series is eternally funny to me, because it's just. like.
Percy's having a constant mental struggle between his fatal flaw of loyalty with a promise he made to Bianca to protect Nico, versus his Big 3 kid desire to maim other Big 3 kids / Poseidon descendant urge to totally maim Nico specifically. He hates Nico so so much. He thinks Nico's annoying and weird at best, and creepy/sketchy when he's older. The only positive thoughts Percy has towards Nico are "He's Bianca's brother and Bianca was my friend and I owe her/He's Hazel's brother and Hazel is my friend and would kill me if I was mean to him," "He's a powerful asset and useful ally (if questionable)," and "He's kinda pathetic and I feel maybe a little bad about it." Percy has multiple occasions throughout the series where he strongly considers - and on one occasionally actually goes through with - throttling Nico.
Meanwhile, Nico is following around Percy like a lost puppy. He explicitly can never bring himself to even dislike anything about Percy no matter how hard he tries. He has a whole bit in BoO where he's mentally going "UGH he's so stupid BUT IT'S ENDEARING HOW DARE HE." He's totally smitten. He's making deals with his dad for Percy. He's making convoluted plans to help Percy stand a chance against Kronos. During the entirety of BoTL it's like he's playing tsundere - "I'm helping NOT PERCY SPECIFICALLY with this quest! Me helping Percy would be SILLY because I DEFINITELY HATE HIM." Then he proceeds to show up to Percy's birthday party to basically ask him on a weird date and spend the entire next book scrambling around trying to help him or protect him or impress him. And Percy could not give less of a shit.
Just. That dynamic is so funny to me. Percy is the founder of the Nico Protection Club in that he's the one they're all protecting Nico from and meanwhile Nico is throwing himself at Percy to the point where the literal god of gay love calls him out on it.
Pac: I said, "Hey, let's do something fun, you know? Let's kidnap the [Federation] baker!" And we are kind of like, locked up, and [Richarlyson's] even sadder now, right?
Phil: I can put my hand through the bars.
Pac: [Laughs] Can I ho– Please save us!
Phil: Do you miss human touch, Pac?
Pac: Yeah, I miss human touch.
Phil: I'm here for you. [...] We can smuggle things into jail. [To Richarlyson] It's okay, mate.
Pac: Can you smuggle me a cellphone?* I know information is power here.
Phil visits Pac and Richarlyson in jail.
* Pac's quote here is a direct reference to Fuga Impossivel, where Cell (Cellbit) had a cellphone he used to threaten people with his "contacts from the outside." (In reality, the phone had no signal, but that's how he earned his name "Cell")
[Full Transcript ↓ ]
—
Pac: Richarlyson feeling a little bit sad 'because 'cus he's locked up, you know? That's why he's using a different kind of hat.
Phil: Oh, Jesus Christ. Wait– why's Richarlyson's [happiness] bar gone down?
Pac:Yeah, 'because 'cus he's unhappy, 'cus, well, we kind of like, got locked up, and it's his birthday today, and he's feeling a little bit sad about like, growing up, you know?
Phil: Is that why he's got a different cow head on?
Pac: Yeah, yeah, and to try to help him, I said, "Hey, let's do something fun, you know? Let's kidnap the baker!" And we are kind of like, locked up, and he's even sadder now, right? [Richarlyson shakes his head] Yeah, but look – jail is fun!
Phil: I can put my hand through the bars.
Pac: [Laughs] Can I ho– Please save us!
Phil: Do you miss human touch, Pac?
Pac: Yeah, I miss human touch.
Phil: I'm here for you. [Cracks up]
Pac: I miss human touch. Oh my god, a hand! Richas, you want to touch a hand? Touch uncle Phil hand. [Laughs]
Phil: Yeah, right here.
Pac: Touch it, Richas! Connect with every–
Phil: I can get you out, I can get you out, I don't know if I'll get punished though, but we'll see. [Laughs]
Pac: I don't think you're going to get punished. [He looks at Richarlyson] Right? [Richarlyson shakes his head, holding a camera] There's nothing wrong about setting two persons out of the jail.
Phil: Yeah, I feel like you've learned your lesson, right?
Pac: Yeah, I won't try to kidnap the baker.
Phil: Oh, Richarlyson wants you to take a photo of, like, hands touching, I think.
Pac: Oh. Ok, let me...
[They stand there, holding hands in silence until Richarlyson takes a photo, then they burst into laughter.]
Pac: Well, Richas, you wanna do the same? I can take a picture of you! I just need a paper. [Pac checks his inventory] ...I don't have any papers, if you have one?
Phil: [Still cracking up as he holds hands with Richarlyson]
Pac: I need the paper, Richarlyson!
Phil: I have paper, there you go.
Pac: Oh, thank you.
Phil: We can smuggle things into jail. [To Richarlyson] It's okay, mate.
Pac: Look! [Laughs and throws Phil the photo] Can you smuggle me a cellphone?* I know information is power here.
Phil: I can – hold on, let me see, let me see...
Pac: Maybe like a cellphone? Or maybe a gaming setup so me and Richarlyson could put some gaming in here, you know, so we can play games?
Phil: I can – I could just break you out. [Laughs] But it's up to you – do you want to be out?
Pac: Yeah, if – Richas, you want to get out of this prison? I know it's bigger and better than our house. Look at the size of this, Phil! You wanna, like–
[Richarlyson breaks the jail bars and lets himself out, then replaces the bars to keep Pac inside]
Phil: [Dying]
Pac: ALL ALONG? Wait – we have been in here for the past 15 minutes, Richas! Oh my god. Ok, ok, I'm done, I'm done. I'm just gonna stay here. I'm just gonna stay here. [Pac walks to a corner of the cell and sits down facing the wall]
Phil: [Still wheeze-laughing] Dude...
Pac: I'm just gonna stay here.
Phil: I can't– [wheezes] I can't break these blocks, he's locked us in!
(tapping mic) hey, do yall wanna think about how touchstarved moros might be. hes literally doom, and he's guardian to the fates who are notoriously constantly busy with their hands. hello. can anyone hear me. does anyone else want to think about his reaction to melinoë touching him. hello. he hasnt seen his siblings' bar nemesis, particularly often. whens the last time he saw his mother. we know there's no chance in hell that mans been in any sort of previous romantic relationship. much less any sexual one. is anyone fucking in here. hello.