#everyone keeps talking about magic as if it's infinitely accessible if you know how do it

[ace-and-ranty]

BTW, I'm STILL waiting for the nature of magic ink to come back and bite us in the ass.

[kitkats-and-kittens]

So I know Damian having magic is something that’s more a fun little tease, that is occasionally a minor plot point. Like him using a rituals and stuff to trap villains.

But genuinely I think it would be hilarious if Damian ‘born and raised in a supernatural cult’ Al Ghul just pulled up in Gotham knowing magic.

His arrival was already chaotic as hell, now imagine him using obscure ass spells that have probably fallen out of existence since Ra’s or hell Mother Soul was around.

Even funnier still if it took the Batfam like an embarrassingly long time to figure it out. Like yes they are the greatest detectives on the planet, but they’re also oblivious as hell and Damian getting into various shenanigans trying to keep the magic thing hidden is absolutely hilarious to me.

Dick and Alfred would figure it out first, because they’re living one on one with the kid for about a year.

It was probably some big dramatic moment, where Dick was like dying and Damian who had spent a year with him at this point decided he’d sooner risk being kicked out rather than let his big brother die.

So he brings him back and it takes Dick a moment since he’s still processing the near death experience, but eventually he gets to sit down with Damian and talk about why he didn’t say something sooner. Which leads to a very hurt/comfort moment where he assures Damian he’ll always belong and other sentimental shit.

Stephanie’s next, mostly because she spends the most times with Damian outside of Dick and also cause I love their relationship.

They’re probably arguing over something incredibly stupid and petty that Damian is taking way too seriously and Steph is pushing just for the funnsies and in a moment of vindictive pettiness (and the memory of Mara doing something very similar to him when they were in the league) he just shoots a spell at her.

It isn’t anything harmful. Probably something that gives her a really bad hair day for the next week, but Stephanie is very much stunned. Damian too, because he didn’t really expect this to be the way he revealed the whole magic thing.

But it turns out Steph is just extremely excited. Henceforth Damian is recruited when she needs to get up to some shit or prank the rest of her siblings without their knowledge.

The team was scary before, but with Steph now having unsupervised access to magic and firmly reassuring Damian that when it comes to Bruce all bets are off, things get infinitely worse.

Tim comes after and honestly he’s a little annoyed it took him this long.

He’s suspected for ages, but between cases and hanging out with the his team he’s never been able to lay down the foundations of his research.

However after witnessing Damian perform a move not humanly possible while out on patrol his interest is once again peaked which leads him down a 3 day rabbit hole about the league and magic and a bunch of other bullshit that probably ends with him on the most wanted list in 31 states.

His investigation is brought to a head however when one day completely stumped for answers he just approaches Damian. Exhausted and burned out and is like “do you have magic”.

And Damian who hasn’t been actively hiding his abilities in about a year now is like. “Yes”.

At which point Tim nods, gives him a thumbs up, and proceeds to pass out.

Of course it takes Bruce the longest, because that man is constantly running on 3 hours sleep and several cups of red bull. Damian is now doing nothing to hide his abilities and with his fathers lack of a reaction it seems like everyone’s on board, however unbeknownst to him the rest of the batfam is trying to very gently nudge their father along to the realisation that his son can indeed use magic.

Dick goes on about how strange it is that Damian can just appear from the shadows and why do you suppose that is?

And Bruce nods proudly and is just like “he’s a very talented boy isn’t he”.

Steph pranks him, using very obviously supernatural means and when questioned just says Damian helped her, which Bruce takes as them both acquiring supernatural artefacts via dubious methods.

This leads to him and Damian having a sit down, during which both of them are experiencing two very different conversations as consequence of Bruce’s attempt to gentle parent his way through this. He tries to explain to his son that some things can be very dangerous if not handled with proper care and he doesn’t want him to get hurt and whoever was giving him such dangerous things should be made known and Damian is wondering why his father thinks he’s doing drugs.

Tim pulls out a whiteboard and a pen and gives him a 3 hours rant on why his son could possibly have magic and Bruce, equally as exhausted as his son, but still trying to listen and support his hobbies (however strange they are) just nods, like that’s nice honey.

It all comes to a head one random day when Damian just floats a coffee mug across the table. And Bruce kinda stares between it and his son blinking and his eyes very suddenly widen with realisation.

He later calls Talia asking why she didn’t tell him and also requesting some manuals on how to deal with a child and their weirdly ominous/sentient magical powers.

By the time Duke rolls around it’s common knowledge and he’s pretty happy to bond with Damian over weird superpower stuff. It’s also nice to train against someone who you can’t instantly obliterate via weird light manipulating techniques so that is very much appreciated.

And for anyone wondering Cass and Jason have both lived in the league and were well aware of the Al Ghuls magical practicing tendencies. Jason tutored under Talia for a little while in fact and they’ve both been placing bets on how long it would take the rest of their family to find out.

[thehollowprince]

Randomly thinking about The Vampire Diaries, specifically season 4 which was the final season I tuned in for because I was just fed up with the bullshit, and all the wasted potential + just bad writing all around.....

Professor Shane should've been a straight up villain, Thee Big Bad. Make it so he's Silas, no doppelganger shenanigans. Have him be the powerful immortal who is going to unleash Hell on Earth. Giving Michael Langdon from AHS, Amaru from From Dusk til Dawn or Eclipso from Stargirl vibes who's a legitimate threat, the way Dahlia and The Hollow had the Originals running for the hills. Like, if you're gonna have yet another person using and exploiting Bon-Bon, then fully commit and make him a major threat because having him just be some human guy understandably desperate to resurrect his family and then die pitifully was disappointing. Like, have the island give some The Ritual vibes with a deranged cult worshipping Silas picking people off and then it's revealed Shane is Silas.

Season four was... weird.

Like, they started off badly by having Elena become a vampire, thus destroying the whole draw of two idiot vampires fighting over a human who is identical to their shared ex (not weird at all). Add onto that the Hunters plot line and Caroline slowly "falling" for Klaus (gross) and them just having Matt stand around (once again), that by the time we got to Bonnie's plotline that season (more suffering - who'd have guessed?), it was just kind of... boring.

Bonnie started off the season rather strong. At the end of the previous season, she was tapping into Dark Magic. And not Dark as in "I make deals with demons," but Dark as in "everyone else is allowed to use their magic for personal gain without consequences, why can't I?" And the thing is, she wasn't even doing it for personal gain. She was trying to use Dark Magic to save her friend from becoming a vampire, which she didn't want to be. Yet once again, she's punished where no other witch is ever punished.

After that, the Dark Magic was immediately dropped in favor of the Darkest Magic (Expression). And here's where we get into your ask, because it would have made so much more sense to have Shane be Silas, as he was the one teaching her Expression. Shane could have simply been Silas' physical form, an immortal cursed to wander the earth without his power and him needing a powerful witch to help access it. That would have made an infinite amount of more sense than here's this dorky college professor who just so happens to academically know about this powerful form of witchcraft that is so powerful and old and dangerous that all other witches fear to even call it magic, let alone practice it.

He could have very easily tricked her by saying, "Hey, here are these old grimoires that were in your Grams' collection that talk about this old form of magic." He could have thrown out the lure for a Cure, with it just being a fakeout to get them to the island where, like you said, his Cult still worships him and separates the group one by one until he gets Bonnie close enough.

After that, keep the rest of the plot pretty much the same. Katherine impersonates Elena and steals what she thinks is the Cure and have Elena spiral, and Bonnie finally come into her own magically.

The further I get away from when I first watched TVD, the more I realize how crappy all the writing and story was.

[ace-trainer-risu]

what are your fave diana wynne jones books that aren’t howl’s moving castle??

Oh whattt a lovely and fun question which I was definitely not secretly hoping someone would ask!!!! Yay!!

Hm okay so, not specifically in order, probably my top fave Diana Wynne Jones books would be:

Deep Secret! Deep Secret is not just one of my favorite books by DWJ but one of my favorite books full stop! It’s so good. Basically, the premise is that there is an infinite series of interconnected worlds, some of which have magic and some of which don’t, at the center of which is a vast interdimensional magical empire. Magic in the multiverse is overseen by an organization of magicians called Magids and there must always be a specific number of Magids in existence. When Rupert, a young Magid living on Earth, discovers that his mentor has died (ish) he becomes unexpectedly responsible for finding and training the next Magid, which is extremely inconvenient timing for him because the aforementioned magical empire is on the brink of civil war and chaos and its his job to stop it. And also almost all of this takes place at...a science fiction convention. It’s amazing.  I have read this book minimum four (probably more) times and every time it’s absolutely delightful and hilarious. I would like to go to the sci fi convention in this novel more than anything. It’s such a good read and its one of her few novels which is specifically aimed at adults, so I would EXTREMELY recommend it. Plus the romance in it is extremely good...not exactly enemy-to-lovers but more like ‘annoys-the-shit-out-of-each-other’ to lovers.  (**One note about this one...there’s a few very briefly mentioned side characters who are gender noncomforming and even tho they are actually portrayed very positively, it’s not necessarily ideal and 100% respectful (basically the protags comment on them being very beautiful and nice but also keep trying to guess their “real” gender). Additionally there’s a different briefly mentioned side character who is fat who isn’t portrayed very nicely. Both of these are brief incidents, just wanted to provide a warning for them)

Dark Lord of Derkholm - Okay this one is weirdly hard to summarize but it’s about this magical fantasy world which has been taken overy and is being used as a tourist destination by a non-magical world (heavily implied to be Earth) for people who want to role play at being in a classic high fantasy story, including fighting and killing THE DARK LORD...who is really just a random magician pretending to be evil. The inhabitants of the fantasy world do not enjoy this and are trying desperately to stop the tours, but unfortunately according to a magical oracle, their best hope of stopping the tours is this year’s Dark Lord, a hapless farmer magician named Derk, and his, um, eccentric family consisting of his glamorous wife, seven children (of whom five are griffins and one is a bard) and a simply improbable amount of magical animals. And also there is a very good dragon.  I think Derkholm is so great as a novel b/c it’s a very funny, loving but sharp, parody of high fantasy stories...but a lot of the time parodies only function as parodies but not as good stories in their own right, you know? But this novel completely functions as a story too, and in fact the first time I read at maybe age nine or ten, the high fantasy parody went completely over my head...but I still loved it. I also really love that this novel is very accessible to all ages, I think I enjoy reading it as an adult just as much as I did as a kid, which is rare.  For anyone who has read Howl’s Moving Castle but nothing else by DWJ and isn’t sure where to start, I think this is a great place to start. (TW: There’s a brief, non-explicit scene which has implied sexual assault.) 

Fire and Hemlock - This may be the most controversial one since it features a romance with a significant age gap where the two characters meet when one is a child and the other an adult. And I fully agree that that’s :/ and normally that trope is NOT my thing but it doesn’t come off at all creepy in this story imo, and if you think you can deal with that then this is a very weird, atmospheric, cool book about storytelling and fairy tales and growing up. The short summary (this is another hard to summarize one) is that as a child, Polly encounters and strikes up a friendship and correspondence with a young man, Tom, which mainly consists of the two of them jointly making up a silly, ongoing fairy tale type story...but things get weird when parts of their story start to come true in real life.  I’ve only read this one twice but it really stuck with me and in fact just describing it here...really makes me want to read it again!

The Chrestomanci Series - So all of the above are either specifically aimed at adults or a general audience whereas the Chrestomanci series is aimed at children, mainly a middle grade type audience. And tbh I started reading them as a kid (fond memory - I bought an omnibus of the first two with my allowance money...b/c it had a cat on the cover!) so I don’t know what it would be like to first read these as an older teen or an adult. BUT. Honestly they are really good and would be a quick read so I do still recommend them. There’s seven overall, with th seventh being a collection of short stories, and they’re only semi-chronological so the reading order isn’t vital. My recommended order (b/c this the order I read them in, haha) is Charmed Life, The Lives of Christopher Chant, The Magicians of Caprona, Witch Week, The Pinhoe Egg, Conrad’s Fate, and then Mixed Magic you can read whenever you want so long as you read it after Charmed Life and The Magicians of Caprona.  So the very core premise of it is not dissimilar to Deep Secret - there’s an infinite series of worlds/universes and there’s a magician, called the Crestomanci in this case, who is responsible for making sure magic isn’t abused across the multiverse. The Chrestomanci is an extremely powerful enchanter who has nine lives, and the novels are various semi-connected stories about the adventures of Chrestomanci as an adult and child. Chrestomanci is a title so it’s not always the same person, but for the majority of the stories it is the same guy and he’s...the best/worst...He’s this extremely handsome, charismatic, powerful enchanter who is very good at his job, loves his wife a lot, wears very beautiful clothes and makes, um, questionable life choices and is very annoying to everyone. I’ve thought about this very hard and I believe that he’s what happens when you take a fundamentally chaotic good person and make him do a fundamentally lawful good job; yes, he’s going to do it and do it well, but he is going to do it in the most chaotic, ridiculous way possible, and he IS going to die at an ALARMING rate, doing things that would not normally kill a person, such as playing cricket and trying to catch stray cats. He also, as previously mentioned, frequently wears very dramatic silk dressing gowns with elaborate embroidery, which the protag of Charmed Life finds deeply alarming.  It’s very odd to me how these books don’t seem to be well known, because the Chrestomanci books were some of my absolute favorite books as a child. I still have my omnibus editions of the first four novels and they are very worn and very beloved. And it’s so WILD to me that I don’t think I have ever talked to someone who also read those as a kid! Like I’m not saying those people don’t exist, I’m sure I just haven’t met them, but that’s so weiiirddddd to me. If I bring up Tamora Pierce or Garth Nix or other authors of weird, eccentric children’s fantasy novels to other avid childhood consumers of fantasy, people usually know what I mean, but Chrestomanci and its just..crickets. Is it b/c she’s British? Anyway all of the Chrestomanci books are very degrees of good, but if I had to pick a favorite, I think, controversial choice here, it would be Conrad’s Fate. Particularly in terms of recommendations to others, Conrad’s Fate works as a standalone and, unlike the other books in the series, it’s aimed more at a YA audience, so if you wanted to read a Chrestomanci novel without getting into the whole series, that’s a good way to go. It’s about a boy, Conrad, who is told that he has a terrible, possibly fatal Fate awaiting him unless he goes to work as a servant at a wealthy, and weird, estate neighboring his town, at which place he encounters things including color changing livery, an extremely annoying teenage Chrestomanci, and the greatest liminal space house EVER. It’s like a combination of an upstairs/downstairs Downton Abbey type social drama with bizarre fantasy shenanigans. How could that not be good??

Also as Honorable Mentions - A Sudden and Wild Magic and The Time of the Ghost. A Sudden and Wild Magic is fun b/c it’s one of her few works aimed specifically at adults and it’s (gasp) a little bit NAUGHTY which I was very surprised and delighted by when I read it. (This may seem like an unfair statement considering that Deep Secret fully has an orgy in it, but Rupert is so fundamentally unnaughty of a character that he completely unnaughtifies the whole novel, whereas Sudden and Wild Magic embraces being a (little bit) naughty.)   The Time of the Ghost on the other hand is weird and haunting and creepy and atmospheric. I only read it once but it’s one of those novels you just think about periodically and go “wait what the fuck that was a weird novel” (Also known as the “Garth Nix” effect) 

[darlingpetao3]

House of W (Multiple!Wells x Reader, Chapter 4)

Rating: T

Summary: After having to deal with the deaths of an infinite number of Harrison Wells in the Multiverse, you, a magic-wielding meta, have a breakdown and unwittingly create a happy, fictitious sitcom life with some of your favourite men. In a world of comedy and cameos, can Team Flash and an out-of-town magician break through your powers to save you? And what if you don’t want to be saved...?

A/N: Alright! Here’s where we continue from where Team Flash left off. We’ll see Chapter 3 from their perspective, and somethings might make a bit more sense as well as raise more questions!

Tag List: @fandomdancer @bluesclues-1234 @pinkdiamond1016 @crissymadlock @firstofficer-tilly @disneyoncerlover815 @marvel-lady10 @thecaptainsgingersnap @noctvrnalmoth @alexxlynn @dontbedumb3 @heyl0lwhatsup @ryou-cosmos @arianalilyblack @sonnensplitter @imagine-yourself-happy​

PROLOGUE | CHAPTER 1 | CHAPTER 2 | CHAPTER 3

Barry is the first to sprint out of the Cortex, leaving everyone else in the dust and papers flying.

The rest of Team Flash and Zatanna rush after the Speedster down the halls of S.T.A.R. Labs as fast as they can to the elevator. Only when they reach it are they met by Barry to inform them of your discovered whereabouts.

“She’s in the basement,” he tells them. “You have to see this.”

Indeed, they all take a ride down to the building’s lowermost level—an enormous concrete space and incredibly high ceilings. But there is one thing very much out of the ordinary here.

“Holy Forcefield, Batman…” Cisco says at the sight before them all.

A glowing, translucent purple sphere surrounds what looks to be an empty set—the set of your magical sitcom everyone had been watching for the past two episodes. It’s eerily dark and quiet. Chester can’t seem to resist its beauty and mystery as he walks even closer toward it and reaches out a hand.

“Careful Chester-!” Caitlin warns him a little too late. Chester yanks his arm back after touching the forcefield with a yelp. He looks at everyone.

“Are you hurt?” a concerned Barry asks.

“I…” Chester shakes his head in disbelief. “I saw something awful. It was, uh… from my childhood. I thought I’d forgotten it…”

“Why don’t you go sit down for a bit?” Caitlin ushers the poor traumatized man to a seat by the wall.

Meanwhile, Zatanna utters a few backwards phrases and moves her hands in the direction of the purple sphere. The gang waits to hear of what she’s learning.

“Just as I thought,” she says at last. “This forcefield (Y/N) has put up is embedded with Anarchy Magic. And it seems she’s made it so that whoever touches or tries to break through her magic will experience trauma and heartbreak from the trespasser’s life.”

“How tragically fitting,” Caitlin comments sadly as she thinks of you and all you’ve been through. Barry takes this information in and stares into the darkened sitcom set.

“What are we going to do?” Cisco wonders out loud.

“This could be our chance,” Barry says, already churning out the beginnings of a plan. “Zatanna, do you think you could breach through (Y/N)’s forcefield with your magic?”

“I’ll need a little more time to study it, but yeah,” Zatanna assures, “I think I can.”

“Great. We’ll prepare ourselves while we wait.”

“Wait for what?” Caitlin asks. Barry turns to her.

“For Episode Three.”

~ ~ ~ ~

The part of the S.T.A.R. Labs basement which Team Flash has access to has now been essentially transformed into half campground/half studio audience seating. The latter was Cisco’s idea, naturally.

Everyone had stayed the night on mats and foldable tents found in the Starchives. A certain longhaired engineer even made the correlation that this felt a lot like camping out in line in front of a theater for a much-anticipated movie release.

After staying up too late theorizing and plotting your safe return, the campers are rudely awakened by a jingle—a very groovy disco-sounding theme.

“Iiiiit’s startiiiing!” Cisco shouts, making sure to grab his pillow and a bag of pre-popped popcorn

The others—Caitlin, Allegra, and Chester grumble and mozy out of their sleeping bags, whereas Barry and Zatanna burst out of theirs with a raring purpose.

Through the forcefield, they can see a flurry of Wells men running around the house doing various tasks in preparation for your impending baby. It all feels very real to the onlookers, not fake or acting on any of the doppelgangers’ parts. They really do believe you’re having a baby.

Barry doesn’t want to fully believe it. Part of him still wants to believe this is all for show—a fictional world with pre-planned plots and storylines. It would be so much easier for him if that were the truth.

Because the other option was a lot more painful to deal with.

Even as everyone watches and laughs along at the antics, none of the ‘stars’ on the other side of the magic forcefield can hear them.

“She looks like she’s gonna burst,” Barry notes at your exponentially growing size. “At this rate, she’ll have the baby by the end of the episode. We need to help her. Zatanna, Caitlin, are you ready for what we talked about last night?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Caitlin says.

“Let’s do this,” Zatanna replies. 

“Great.” Barry sighs a worried breath. “Caitlin, I’m giving you this comms so that we can keep in contact even on the inside. Zatanna has bewitched it to look like an earring. And I’m going to let Cisco take the reins on walking you through what to say since he is apparently this show’s number one fan.”

“Gotcha, boss.”

“Uh, guys?” Allegra pipes up. “Her water just broke!”

“It’s now or never,” Barry exhales.

Zatanna holds out her palms toward Caitlin, then speaks in a clear voice, “Mlaer moctis eht edisni ylefas niltiaC dnes.”

At this, Caitlin vanishes before the team’s very eyes. Everyone can only hope she is safely on the other side of the forcefield.

“And now we wait,” Zatanna confirms.

“Popcorn?” Cisco proffers his bag to everyone.

“Shhhhh!”

With Caitlin now officially in the sitcom realm—clad in a white doctor’s coat and a stethoscope hanging around her neck—the door whisks open in front of her to reveal Nash Wells. Even for her, seeing his face again is a shock. While she and Frost were away with Doctor Tannhauser for a time, she had received word from Barry saying that Nash and the other Wells had sacrificed themselves.

And yet, here they all are, standing in the doorway with panicked eyes about the fact that you’re having their baby.

Oh, right! This is my cue, she thinks.

“Uh, hi,” Nash says, a little confused. “Who are you?”

~~“Remember, you can’t give your real name in case (Y/N) catches on. You have to play along,”~~ Cisco advises in her ear. She remembers that he, along with the rest of Team Flash, can see her on the other side of the forcefield. To her, however, she merely sees a plain wall.

“Yes, hi! My name is C… uhh...”

~~“Say Elsa, say Elsa, say El-”~~

“Elsa?”

Dammit, Caitlin curses mentally. Frost laughs in the back of her head while Cisco cackles in her comms. The doctor, now thoroughly annoyed, plays with her earring to turn off communication with the outside world. Cisco’s prank could have cost them big time. She’s going to do this herself. No distractions.

“I’m a doctor,” Caitlin continues. “I was making the rounds in the neighbourhood and heard some yelling coming from your home. Are you in need of a doctor?”

“Actually, yes,” Harry confirms. It’s so strange. He’s looking right at Caitlin—they all are—but they truly do not recognize her. It makes your friend realize just how powerful you really are.

Meanwhile on the outside, Team Flash is having mixed emotions about the birth of your baby. Barry is still in disbelief that he is becoming an uncle before his eyes. Cisco, Chester, and Allegra are fanboying and fangirling over the moment. And then there is Zatanna, watching with a neutral expression.

They watch Caitlin help deliver baby Liberty, although entirely and conveniently out of view from the “camera” and the transparent forcefield.

But when the surprise of Belle arrives, well, that earns literal applause from Cisco.

“Do you think they’re real?” Barry quietly asks Zatanna away from everyone else.

“I’m still unsure,” she answers. “They sure all look happy, though.”

Barry doesn’t respond to this.

Once the babies are safe with their cooing fathers and you’ve magically seemed to have cleaned up from the ordeal of birthing twins, you approach Caitlin.

“Doctor Elsa, I can’t thank you enough for your help today,” you say to Caitlin. For a moment, she forgets you’re referring to her with the accidental alias. “What a coincidence that you showed up at my door just as I was going into labour! You must have a sixth sense about these things.”

“It’s a gift!” she says pleasantly. “But really, how have you been doing? Are you well?”

You give her a curious look. “Yes, of course I’m well. I have two beautiful daughters and four wonderful husbands. A house full of love. I couldn’t be happier.”

Caitlin knows she shouldn’t press on anything about the ‘behind the scenes’ of your sitcom reality, but this is all so confusing and mysterious that her scientific mind can’t help but form a myriad of questions.

“What is it?” you ask.

Caity, I’m not sure… Frost begins to voice her worry in her head.

“It’s just…” Caitlin drops to a whisper so as to not let the Wells men hear, “how are they here?”

Your face drops. “I’m not sure I follow.”

“Your husbands. They… died. Vanished. How did you do all of this?”

Your entire body glows with a purple aura, and Caitlin half-wonders if you’re starting to levitate slightly.

You look like a vengeful and magical angel of death.

“Get out,” you tell her.

“(Y/N), no, please, listen,” she tries, but it’s too late. A powerful blast of energy hits Caitlin in the gut, knocking the wind from her lungs and backwards. Her body comes in contact with something hard, then squishy, and…

“Ronnie?” she says. “No, please…”

What she sees is all around her as she’s pushed back through the forcefield—the death of her husband, Ronnie Raymond. It’s like it’s happening all over again, watching as he flies up into the windy vortex above the city as Firestorm. The last time she’ll ever see him alive again.

“Caitlin? Caitlin!” Barry worries over his friend. She looks totally out of it as she lays on the concrete floor, safely back in reality once more. “Are you okay?”

Caitlin grunts, her brow furrowed. She’s trying to keep everything she saw inside. For a second time.

“Yup, I’m good,” she claims. Allegra and Cisco help her up and over to their makeshift audience seats.

Barry sighs and soon becomes lost in thought. “You know what I still don’t get?”

“What’s that?” Zatanna replies.

“What about in the last episode where they were working at S.T.A.R. Toy Manufacturing? Those were our hallways upstairs. And I don’t see any extra sets. Do you think the forcefield, I dunno, moved with them?”

“If that’s the case, it would be as if (Y/N)’s magic is writing and rewriting itself. And if so, as she moves, everything around her gets recreated. Like the era-changing set. That’s what we see on screen. It’s like a battery that was left on.”

“So what, does that mean eventually she’s going to run out of power? Or short circuit?”

“That, I still don’t know. This kind of magic she wields is unlike anything I’ve seen before. I’m learning about it as much as you are.”

Cisco does a little jog over the two conversing theorists.

“How is she?” Zatanna asks the engineer.

“Not physically hurt… but I can see that she is inside. Emotionally.”

Barry’s lips press into a thin line.

“Hey, so, do you think the Wells can… get out of her forcefield radius?” Cisco asks the magician. Instead, Barry answers first.

“Knowing (Y/N), she wouldn’t have made that an option.”

[jupitermelichios]

On a more possitive note, I’ve started watching Sword Art Online. It’s one of the worst things I’ve ever seen (and the last film I saw in cinemas was Cats to give you context for the scale i’m working on here) and I kind of adore it in much the same way I love garbage like Smallville or Twilight. It’s so stupid on so many levels. You could challenge someone to write the worst anime, and it would almost certainly be better than SAO. It’s almost hypnotic how terrible it is.

No one should watch this terrible terrible show so I therefore don’t feel at all bad that I’m about the spoil absolutely everything, but honestly if you do also hate-watch this please come talk to me about how terrible it is. I don’t know anyone else who watches it.

Highlights of Season 1 include:

everyone is trapped in an MMO, and if you die in the MMO you die IRL. but if you were a beta-tester you’re probably fine because they just let them keep all their levels and items from the testing, so they’re all massively OP and everyone just accepts this as a normal and non-game-breaking thing

it’s a fantasy MMO but there’s no races, no magic system, no weapons except swords and maces, and not even an option to dual wield - literally all you can do in this fucking game is stand in front of an enemy and mash the attack button. I’m pretty sure they’re trapped there because the devs realised no one would play this post launch-day otherwise because it’s boring as shit

when the villain traps everyone he also just changs all their avatars to look like they do IRL for absolutely no reason, like actually none, he doesn’t even say he thinks it would be funny, he just does it and no one questions it and it is literally never mentioned again because this is the worst TV show ever animated.

in the second episode the main character deliberately witholds information about how to defeat a boss, indirectly causing multiple deaths. there is absolutely no reason for him to withhold it, he was just being a jerk because he doesn’t like people

in the third episode they reset his entire personality and he’s now a selfless hero pretending to be a lower level than he really is so people will find him more relateable and be his friend because all he wants is to help people. this is not a consequence of episode 2, they just decided they didnt like the character as he’d previously been written.

he makes some new friends who are all objectively terrible people who have decided for no season that the twelve year old who doesn’t really know how to play and keeps having anxiety attacks about the very real possibility of death has to be the guild tank. the MC is high enough level to be functionally immortal in like half the levels, but doesn’t tell anyone this he just lets them go on bullying this child

none of his friends survive that episode, in the game or IRL. which is also a christmas epsiode. a child dies in battle because she’s a terrible tank and then a man commits suicide out of guilt, so then the main character murders santa to try and bring them back from the actual dead but it doesn’t work because again, this is a video game and they are dead IRL, so then he walks off into the snow alone. Christmas!

we meet the best character in the entire show in episode 4, Rosalia, who has gone evil and started just straight murdering people because she’s sick of being an attractive adult woman who can’t get a date because she’s surrounded by lolicons who are only interested in the preteen characters (not a joke, that comes up, the show is firmly on the side of the lolicons)

in the same episode we get an extended bra and panty sequence staring an actual fucking child, like canonically this character is maybe 13 at best. this is one of only 2 occaisions when they feel the need to undress a character and it’s the fucking 12 year old, it’s so gross it reads like a parody of itself

literally every single named female character aged over 8 who talks to the MC falls in love with him after like 5 minutes (and in season 2 this includes his actual sister). he shows absolutely no interest in any of them (including his sister, thank god) until...

the main character gets engaged to a girl he only knows from an MMO after a virtual single date (he doesn’t actually win her in a PVP match but only because he looses the match, he 100% canonically tries to win her in a match, which she is apparently fine with). he then doesn’t bother to ask for her real name until the final episode, he just calls her by her screen name

(that’s okay though becuase it turns out that this moron of a love interest used her real name, on a local server, in a game where your character looks like you do IRL, because apparently getting doxxed is her hobby)

they then get in-game married off screen. there’s not even like a still of a wedding photo. nothing. the main character proposes and then the show immediately jumps to the honeymoon, it’s fucking bizarre.

they find a creepy child dressed all in white with no memory alone in the woods a week into their honeymoon who starts calling them mommy and daddy literally seconds after they first meet her, and they don’t suspect anything suss is going on and adopt her

for hilarity bear in mind the main character may only be 15 at this point (he says he’s only just turned 16 in the last epsiode, but his actual birthday is never mentioned), and his virtual wifu is 16, but no one ever questions the marriage or the adoption, even though ‘hey marriage in a video game is as important and meaningful as marriage in real life’ is an actual conversation people have multiple times. also they think the child they adopt is an actual IRL 8 year old who thinks these randos she met in an MMO are her mum and dad and everyone just goes with that like it’s a totally normal thing

a character called ‘Thinker’ agrees to meet an enemy faction leader for peace talks. the “peace talks” take place in a high level dungeon and he is told to come alone with no weapons and no fast travel. he does this. no one ever comments that his name is ironic, and in fact they seem to think that being betrayed and trapped in a dungeon with a boss is a totally unexpected turn of events Thinker could never have planned for

they take their new baby into the dungeon to rescue thinker, because they went to the jean grey school of baby rearing, and she imediately reveals that she’s actually a magical maggufin with infinite power, murders the grim reaper, and then dies. In literally the second episode she’s in

after she dies the MC hacks the admin account of the game, converts her corpse into an in game item, and saves to the local storage on his console, with the intention of bringing her back to life as a robot once they’re saved from the game. I’m not joking, that’s an actual thing that happens.

the fact that the main character can just access the main admin account and make massive game-breaking changes isn’t used again in that game and he never thinks to try and use it to force log people out or give himself infinite life so he can just rush the game and free everyone. nope, convert a corpse into an item and then never think about it again.

there’s an entire episode where all they do is go fishing. its the only filler episode in the season, and it immediately follows the death of a small child. it’s the most tone-deaf beach episode in writing history

it turns out this game, this game where they didn’t bother coding in any difference races, weapons, or any kind of magic system, was intended to have fully sentient AI therapists, because why the fuck not at this point honestly

oh also the game has PVP and you can trick the game into thinking a sleeping player is in PVP with you in order to actually murder a real person without it flagging in-game as a murder making the crime impossible for the real life legal system to investigate even though you just murdered a person. and they expect us to believe this game had actual beta testers. at least cyberpunk wasn’t played on microwaves you connected straight to your brain (also not a joke, the VR consoles canonically work by sending microwave radiation into your brain, no wonder VR never caught on)

the set up for the show is that they have to reach level 100 of a dungeon in order to win. At level 75, the writers got bored and the show just ends.

it turns out the power of love allows you to just break the fucking game and the main villain literally has a line about how ‘love allows you to remove debuffs, huh, we didn’t think to plan for that’ because again, there’s no metaphors in this show, everything is 100% literal including the fact that falling in love with another player means you’re immune to the paralysis status effect

power of love also allows you to very briefly become a poltergeist after being killed, but only for like 2 seconds. again not a joke or a metaphor, main character is killed but then gets to hang around as a ghost for a little bit to enable him to defeat the boss. he also doesn’t die in real life despite that being the entire fucking premise of the show, again because power of love.

the bad guy literally has no plan, he’s just doing shit for the sake of having something to do. His actions directly cause the deaths of more than 4,000 people, and it’s not even in aid of anything. they ask him why he trapped 10,000 people in an MMO and allowed them to slowly die, and he’s just like ‘huh, i forgot i did that, random’ and then just fucking peaces out

the fact that he committed one of the largest mass killings outside of war never really comes up again, as far as we know he doesn’t even go to jail. i think the show actually kind of thinks he’s a good guy, which is a fucking WILD moral stance to take on the deaths of 4000 completely innocent people for absolutely no reason

If this sounds hilari-bad but you don’t want to invest the time to watch a show which is objectively garbage, it has an abridged series which is famously better than the show it’s parodying (i’m dead serious, people have character arcs, the getting married after one date thing is properly addressed, the mc has to deal with PTSD because of all his friends dying in epsidode 3, they don’t immediately follow the death of a child with an extended fishing montage, the villain has an actual plan). It’s mostly actually pretty good, but this is the internet and it’s an abridged series, so while there are a lot fewer yikes moments than most it still has enough that I’m not comfortable recommending it without the caveat. that said I still enjoyed it a lot, although possibly not at much as pointing and laughing at the garbage that is the actual show.

[skylanders-after-the-end]

Culprits and Witnesses

It was a peaceful morning in Skylands. A scenery of pinkish and yellow clouds illuminated by the rising sun. Snap Shot and Wolfgang were enjoying that moment together. They were sitting underneath the cherry blossom tree where they used to train and bond. Lying on top of the soft green grass, their arms around each other and a light breeze brushing past them. Everything was perfect.

“I wish it could always be like this.” Wolfgang’s eyes were calmly set on the sun. “Just you, me and the endless skies.”

“Me too.” Snap Shot sighed and turned quiet. “As gorgeous as this view is, you know what it means.”

Wolfgang sighed as well, only more annoyed than calm now. “Yeah.”

Not a second passed before a giant version of Dreamcatcher appeared in the sky right in front of them. “The sun is rising you guys, you know what that means.”

The couple rolled their eyes before lovingly looking at each other one more time.

Snap Shot opened his eyes to find himself back inside his cell at Cloudcracker Prison. It was all a dream. However, he’s not upset about it. Him and Wolfgang made a deal with Dreamcatcher so that every night they could meet each other in the dream realm and enjoy their time together, even if it’s not real.

The reptile got out of his cell and on his way to the cafeteria for breakfast, he felt a large fluffy arm wrap around his shoulder.

“Hey sleepy head.” Wolfgang smirked as he joined Snap Shot and they could spend some time in the real world, only surrounded by other villains.

Before the cafeteria entrance, Dreamcatcher appeared in front of the two once again, this time in her regular size. She didn’t say a word and just stared at them with expecting eyes.

Wolfgang shoved his hand inside a pocket of his pants and pulled out a small plastic figure of a unicorn, their end of the deal. “This is all I could find around here.”

“Sir Blueberry Twinkles!” Dreamcatcher used her telepathic abilities, which have been reduced to only lifting small objects inside the prison, to hold the toy in front of her. “Finally I can reunite him with his sister! Thanks, tonight I will take you somewhere special.” The floating head winked before flying off whilst enjoying the small toy horse.

The couple giggled before finally entering the cafeteria to fill their hungry stomachs.

Later that morning, the paralyzed Tuff Luck was found. She was brought into the hospital immediately where Whirlwind would take a look at the strange trance the feline was in.

“I have never seen anything like this before.” Smolderdash was as appalled as everyone else to see the lifeless, cloudy blue eyes of the Life Skylanders. “What happened to her?”

“Maybe this has something to do with Hex’ curse?” Stealth Elf could only think of the witch when she saw those eyes, despite the fact that Hex’ curse turned them pitch black. “Perhaps some kind of side effect?”

“That can’t be it. Everyone was freed from Hex’ curse when she surrendered, and this isn’t undead magic anyway.” Whirlwind has been studying all kinds of injuries and even curses for years, but this was new to her. “This is something completely different.”

Unaware to them, Tuff Luck was currently trapped inside her own mind experiencing her greatest fear. There was no way for her to give any sign through her body, she had no control anymore.

As the Skylanders continued to speculate, a deep voice emerged from the shadows. “May I take a look?”

Everyone turned around to see the dark dragon Blackout standing behind them, trying to get a glimpse of what was going on. “Of course, maybe you know more than us.” Whirlwind moved aside for the dragon to join the group.

Blackout moved his head closer to Tuff Luck and squinted his eyes while staring into hers. Suddenly the horn at the tip of his snout began to glow in a dim green light before he backed off. “Whoever did this must have access to some kind of psychic powers.”

“We figured that much.” Stealth Elf thought about some possible suspects. “But that color and her completely frozen body… we’ve never seen that before.”

“No… not in this form.” Blackout closed his eyes and focused for his horn to glow brighter. “She’s fighting. She’s trapped inside her own mind and there is no way for her to break free.”

The others gasped upon hearing that shocking revelation. “Is there a way to help her?” Smolderdash didn’t hesitate for a moment and was already looking for answers.

“I’m afraid not.” Blackout opened his eyes again and his horn stopped glowing. “She’s under the influence of some force very similar to dream magic. A so-called nightmare prison.”

“Dream magic?” Stealth Elf wasn’t hearing that term for the first time. “Then I think I know who did this.”

“Oh, yes of course I did!” Dreamcatcher just finished placing her most recent toy horse on the ledge of her window, adding it to her collection. It’s a hobby she discovered ever since she’s been locked back inside Cloudcracker Prison and found an abandoned unicorn toy.

“How? You’re behind bars and your powers are limited, there’s no way.” Stealth Elf glared at the floating head through the bars of her cell before she turned around to face the elf and Blackout who have come to question her.

“Oh no, I didn’t do that. I mean I did see your friend in the dream realm. The poor thing was so lost and afraid, but unfortunately I was too busy helping those two lovebirds so I couldn’t do anything about it.” Dreamcatcher’s dirty grin made it clear that she was being sarcastic.

Blackout was standing behind Stealth Elf and didn’t say a word yet. He was trying to use his advanced knowledge to figure out what was going on. “If you were able to see her then others can enter the nightmare prison, so she can be saved.”

The Air villain turned to the dragon and gained a curious look. “Hey, I know you.” She was staring at Blackout who kept his dead serious expression. “Weren’t you one of those creepy dragons that spread nightmares all over the realm? I hope you know by now that that’s my thing.”

“I don’t associate with that clan anymore.” Blackout remembered the Dark Stygian. It was a clan consisting of gargoyle dragons just like him who would give nightmares to villains until they started to abuse that power. “I stopped them just like we stopped you, but there’s another force out there.”

“So, you’re saying it wasn’t her?” Stealth Elf’s eyes went from Dreamcatcher to Blackout.

“No, I keep watch over her at night. She can manipulate dreams to an extent, but not this drastically and not to the point where it gets dangerous.” Blackout kept eye contact with the accused.

“You’re stalking me? Ugh, creep!” Dreamcatcher scoffed at the two Skylanders once more before turning around. “But he’s right, I have nothing to do with this.”

Blackout didn’t ask any further questions and left while Stealth Elf spitefully stared at the back of Dreamcatcher before going as well.

Meanwhile Smolderdash went to get some advice elsewhere. She entered the Magic Realm where she stumbled upon Déjà Vu who was happy to help. The two made it to one of the highest magical towers in which many Skylanders of the respective element reside in. They were looking for someone.

“Are you sure she’s here?” Smolderdash floated across a long wine-red carpet along the blue stone floor leading inside.

“It’s where she spends most of her time as far as I know.” Déjà Vu turned her head left and right to observe countless shelves filled with books, potions and other ancient relics.

The inside of the building was much bigger than the slim exterior led to believe. The two Skylanders turned and pushed many objects aside in search of a specific one. “Hello?” Smolderdash finally exclaimed, hearing an echo throughout the giant circular room.

Déjà Vu was searching on the other side. After some brief scans of every corner, she finally spotted something. “Smolderdash, look!”

The fiery humanoid hurried to the timelord, who was staring at a pink bottle with cyan, oval-shaped jewels on the side and a diamond cork on top. “That’s it!”

Neither of them knew how to approach the relic. Finally, Smolderdash decided to just grab the bottle before shaking it. When nothing happened, she placed her other hand onto it and gently rubbed. The bottle reacted by trembling, which caused the Fire Skylander to drop it and back off. Finally, the cork flew off and the bottle emitted a dazzling cloud of purple smoke. A slim figure emerged out of it and grew larger with every passing moment, casting an enormous shadow on the Skylanders looking up in awe.

The being reached the point where it was so big that it hit the ceiling. After a painful hiss, it proceeded to shrink instead and adjusted itself to a size more suitable for the room. When the smoke ceased, the giant Ninjini finally appeared in front of the visitors. “Who has summoned the great Ninjini… oh it’s just you.”

Déjà Vu’s eyes curved underneath her mask, indicating a smile, while Smolderdash remained rather baffled. “Ninjini, we’ve been looking everywhere for you!” The fellow Magic Skylander was excited to get a chance to talk to one of the most skilled Skylanders of all time.

“Sorry about that, I just discovered a new spell which can warp reality, so I had to retreat into my bottle to concentrate.” Ninjini, and genies in general, were known for their great amount of power. They can grant almost any wish and thus hold the power of infinite creation. “How can I help you?”

“There was an incident last night.” Smolderdash wasn’t sure how to best describe the situation, but she just needed to know if Ninjini was more knowledgeable regarding the issue. “Tuff Luck was put in some kind of trance, they were talking about dream magic. Her eyes were completely light blue and foggy.”

“Dream magic?” Ninjini knew a good deal about that. “Genie magic does have a lot in common with that, only that there’s an entirely different realm for dreams.”

“Do you know any way to manipulate it?” Déjà Vu was curious. “I would use my time powers, but that would most likely lead to way more problems.”

“You shouldn’t do that, you’re right.” Ninjini pointed her finger at the sorceress while looking into another direction. “I wish I could help you, but unfortunately I can’t access any sort of dream magic. While wishes often stem from dreams, ultimately they are what someone wants in reality. Dreams are far more… unpredictable.”

“I understand.” Smolderdash wasn’t disappointed, but she did wonder what else she could do. “If it turns out that it wasn’t Dreamcatcher then there must be someone else with the power to manipulate dreams.”

“And create nightmares.” Déjà Vu reminded her companion of the dark side to that special kind of magic.

“Right…” The Fire Skylander looked up to Ninjini and nodded with a smile. “Thanks for your time.”

“Always. I will let you know if I find out anything else.” The giantess turned around to pick out some more books for her private studying session while the two Skylanders made their way back to the Academy.

The sun has set and there were no clear answers as to what happened with the unfortunate Tuff Luck. The Skylanders gathered once more to discuss another strategy.

“We have no idea what happened, and our main suspect seems to be innocent.” Stealth Elf spoke to the group in front of her, not realizing how glum she sounded. “I suppose we will have to take other measures.”

“Like what? I don’t think the perpetrator will just show up and tell us.” Spitfire joined the discussion after seeing what had happened and wanted to find a solution. “All we can do is hope for Tuff Luck to snap out of it and tell us herself.”

“She’s not snapping out of it, not that easily.” Blackout’s deep voice traveled through the crowd like a wave. “If even Ninjini can’t reverse it, then we have to catch the enemy and force them to do it.”

“Or perhaps…” Smolderdash announced an idea that just popped into her head, drawing all the attention towards her. “Kaos has something to do with this.”

“Kaos never did something like this, I doubt he even could.” Stealth Elf didn’t even consider the small tyrant despite him posing a serious threat numerous times. “I can’t stop thinking that this has something to do with Hex.”

“Hex’ powers were all absorbed and stored safely where no one can find them.” Spitfire had to remind the elf of what happened a week ago. “And besides, her magic is undead, so dark and scary. Not exactly dream magic if you ask me.”

“Guys!” The conversation was interrupted by Whirlwind soaring towards them with a worried manner. “It happened again!”

The Skylanders followed the hybrid to the inside of the library where Gearshift was on the floor with the same cloudy eyes as Tuff Luck. She was all alone, and no one was even nearby, so there were no witnesses.

“How could this happen?” Stealth Elf was shocked and her eyes were glued to the motionless body of the robot. “And why her of all people? Can she even dream?”

“I cannot.” Everyone jumped up in surprise when Gearshift responded. The Trap Master blinked and suddenly her eyes went back to their normal navy, silver and red colors.

Whirlwind couldn’t explain to herself what just happened. “Gearshift? How did you-”

“Break free from the trance? Magic usually does not show great effect on my systems, so in the case of a trance, hypnosis or other forms of paralyzation, I can simply reboot myself.” The robot stood back up as if nothing happened.

“Well, do you know what happened? Did you see anything?” Smolderdash didn’t fully believe that everything was completely fine, but Gearshift wasn’t one to lie.

“I did, in fact.” Everyone listened eagerly as the Tech Skylander recalled the event. “Before I fell into that trance and blacked out for approximately twelve minutes and twenty-one seconds, a cloaked figure ambushed me.”

“A cloaked figure?” Spitfire tried to think of a villain who could be capable of something like that. “Did you see their face?”

“I saw a mask inside the hood, not the face.” Gearshift described the intruder as precisely as she could. “They are using it to curse their victims. Whatever you do, do not-”

“Up so soon? Didn’t you enjoy the nightmare I made for you?” A mischievous voice echoed through the library, and everyone frantically looked around themselves.

“There!” Smolderdash pointed to the cloaked figure they’ve been looking for. He was standing on top of some wooden platforms near the ceiling.

The mysterious figure jumped down while the heroes all pulled out their weapons and were ready to strike. “You’re the one who’s doing this, aren’t you?” Stealth Elf hissed through her mask while tightly holding her daggers.

“Guilty as charged.” The voice was deep, too deep almost. It didn’t sound natural, more like a distorted recording. Everyone could tell that it was a man talking, yet they didn’t recognize him. “I should’ve known that the robot wouldn’t fall prey to my curse, what a waste.”

���Do not look into his eyes, that is what puts you under the curse!” Gearshift remarked before the figure got closer and purposely attempted to look into each pair of eyes.

The Skylanders tried to turn their eyes away, but they still managed to catch glimpses of the mask. It was a frightening twisted grimace painted in dark and cool colors. No one thought much about it until Smolderdash took a closer look, avoiding the eyes. “Wait… that’s the Mask of Power!”

Everyone stared at the Fire Skylander and then again at the mask before gasping when they realized that it truly was the powerful relic. “So, you recognize it. No wonder since you tried to steal it from me years ago!” The foe was walking around the group like a predator circling his prey, turning his head trying to get a look into their eyes.

“Who are you?” Spitfire looked down to the ground as the intruder passed him.

“You know who I am. I’ve spent eons trapped in my own kingdom, unable to fulfill my plan to rule the Skylands with my rightful powers!” The figure was now in front of the group again. He began to levitate with blue energy underneath him and towered over the Skylanders with a mighty aura. “I am the Nightmare King!”

Just before he could launch an attack through the eyes of his mask, a fireball hit him from the side and he fell to the ground. Spyro arrived alongside a few other Skylander to aid their allies. “And you won’t get the chance to do anymore damage!” The leader glared at the enemy who turned away from the heroes.

Instead of surrendering, the Nightmare King began to cackle. He swung his arm and unleashed a powerful wave of magic, throwing everyone to the ground. “You won’t defeat me. Even if you try, I will turn your greatest fears into reality. The one you will have to fight is yourself!” The villain was certain of himself and already knew his plan. “I’m not in a hurry, eventually you will all surrender to the horrors that plague your minds. No one can escape.” With those words the Nightmare King turned around and vanished in the blink of an eye.

The Skylanders looked everywhere, but he was gone. “Perfect, yet another new villain.” Spitfire sighed and waited for Spyro to come up with the next plan to take the threat down.

“I’m afraid so.” Cautiously, almost paranoid, Spyro looked behind himself to see if there was something there. “Skylanders, there’s a new villain in town and he once again wants to take over the Skylands.”

“He also carries the Mask of Power.” Smolderdash remarked.

Spyro’s eyes opened wide, but at this point nothing could surprise him anymore. “Well, then we will need to find a way to take those powers from him. We all know what a single fragment of the mask was capable of, I don’t want to find out what the whole thing can do.”

As Spyro discussed the plan, Gearshift noticed that something wasn’t right. She blinked and her eyes suddenly shifted back to the nightmare state. Inside her mind, or rather system, she saw something familiar, then she heard a deep scream. She couldn’t make out what it was and before she got the opportunity to look closer, she was back in the real world. The robot didn’t think much of it and continued to listen like nothing happened.

In the meantime, at Cloudcracker Prison all the villains were in their cells and supposed to be asleep. Obviously almost none of them were, but they were all quiet so they wouldn’t receive a warning from the guards. Snap Shot and Wolfgang were no exception. After asking the Trap Masters time and time again they were finally allowed to get cells next to each other. Now they could chat as much as they wanted, despite a crystal wall being in between them.

“Did Dream tell you that she was interrogated today?” Wolfgang was using the bones of the chicken he had for dinner to drum against the bars of his cell as so often.

“For what?” Snap Shot was scratching the floor with his sharp gloved claws.

“Apparently a Skylander was found under some kind of dream spell.” Wolfgang did know what the mischievous head was capable of, but he also knew that her powers are very limited within prison walls. “They thought it was her. Shows how much they trust their own energy fields.”

Snap Shot smirked. “You guys did always find a way around that.” After a few seconds the reptile’s smile faded and his scratching along the floor stopped. “Wolfy?”

“Yeah?” The werewolf interrupted his drumming session since he could tell that Snap Shot was about to ask him something more serious.

“What will you do when you get out?” Snap Shot has been thinking about life outside of prison a lot lately, and he can’t help but wonder what it will look like. “We have two more years, but after that we’re free to go.”

Wolfgang was quiet. Unlike Snap Shot, he spent many years behind bars. At this point it felt more like home than any other place in Skylands. “Well, if the queen is really out of the picture, I’ll just try to get as far away from here as possible. Lay low, y’know?”

“Yeah.” That reminded Snap Shot of Wolfgang’s attempt to flee when the Skylanders found them and the other Doom Raiders on that abandoned island. Back then he would have never dared to run away, but things are different now. “I honestly have no idea. I thought I’d be with the Skylanders until I retire before settling down in some swamp and spend the rest of my days shouting at youngsters who are trespassing through my property.” Wolfgang laughed as Snap Shot paused and thought further. “But now I’m here. I have to get away once I’m out, they won’t want me around.” Snap Shot took a deep breath and exhaled with a sigh. “I can never go back.”

Wolfgang could almost feel Snap Shot’s disappointment through the wall. He knew how respected he used to be among the Skylanders. The leader of the Trap Masters with a track record of catching more criminals than anyone else, including the wolf himself several times. The crocagator told him to not feel guilty about that loss, even though it was his fault. The least he could do now is help him figure things out. “I know what that’s like, losing the life you once had and all the people in it. It’s scary at first and you’re all alone, but eventually you find something new, something that keeps you going. For me it was music and with the Doom Raiders I thought I had discovered my new purpose. Now I realize that wasn’t what I really wanted, not in that way.”

Snap Shot was listening carefully. He loved listening to his partner go on about music, he could tell how happy that made him, but he never expressed anything about his purpose before. “Then what do you want?”

“I want to be free.” Wolfgang’s lips formed a gentle smile as his mind wandered through all the possibilities once he’s out of prison. “No more tyranny and pressure from some greedy ol’ hag. I just want to get out there and share my music, even if no one enjoys it.”

Snap Shot nodded. “That sure sounds like a purpose to me.”

“And I won’t go alone.” Wolfgang added. “I’ll take a grumpy old crocagator with me and maybe, just maybe, he will get into music too.”

“In your dreams!” Both let out a heartfelt laugh before sinking back into their thoughts. “That does sound like something. Getting out there, seeing what no one’s seen before.”

Wolfgang was glad to hear some perspective from the reptile. “And you know the Skylanders; some of them won’t be able to let you go without at least saying goodbye.”

“You’re right about that.” Snap Shot’s sight moved up and out the window. Seeing the star-filled sky gave him a comforting feeling, almost like a spark of hope. “To the future.”

“To the future.” Wolfgang yawned before crawling into his small bed, which has been starting to feel comfortable after so many dreamy nights.

Snap Shot went to bed too and realized that maybe, despite the circumstances, the stay in the prison was exactly what he needed.

[frozenartscapes]

Promises - SS/Modern AU

Following up after Byleth brings a time-traveling Emperor back to her apartment. I was thinking some more about a name for this AU, and I believe it was @lysissisyl who one time suggested “A World Without Gods”... And I kind of like it. It’s not like the Dragon Family has disappeared, but the world has since moved past them. Magic still exists, but has grown with technology to become accessible. Possessing things like Crests or other godly gifts aren’t really valued anymore, because anyone can now do what a person with a Crest might have been once able to do. Hell, we’ve even established that getting a Crest or having one removed is about as simple as donating blood.

But being thrown into such a different world in the blink of an eye is daunting, even for someone as strong as Edelgard. But, this is Silver Snow!Edelgard. By the time she and Byleth had their final confrontation, she had effectively lost everybody that she cared about: either they had joined the enemy side and hated her, or they had died trying to protect her. And the heart can only take so much loss.

Byleth has been living with the guilt of her actions for 850 years. She finally has a chance to make things right, but the path will be a long and challenging one.

---

Byleth held a cup under the spout in the sink and filled it up. She couldn’t really sleep, and thought perhaps a glass of water might help. She chugged it back and added the cup to the small pile of dirty dishes. She really ought to do those, she thought, as she stared blankly at the mess.

She should go back to bed. But she couldn’t relax enough to sleep.

“No! Please!”

She was out of the kitchen like a shot, quickly finding the spare bedroom door in her dark apartment. She could hear the struggle inside: that bed was a cheap one, often prone to squeaking and groaning; the ruffle of blankets being fought with; pleas from someone locked deep in a nightmare.

“Please! Come back! Come back!”

Byleth knocked, hoping she wasn’t about to make things worse. “Edelgard?” she called. She could just let herself in, but given the former Emperor’s apparent state, and recent events, she decided to wait. “Edelgard? It’s me. You ok?”

There was another yelp, and frantic gasps of breath. Then: “P...Professor?” Calmer. She must be awake now.

“Can I come in?”

...

“...Yes.”

Slowly, Byleth pushed the door open. She caught Edelgard in the act of furiously wiping tears from her cheeks, the slight blush nothing compared to the dark bags under her eyes. Blankets and sheets were strewn about, indicating quite a bit of tossing and turning.

“I...I suppose I was talking in my sleep again,” she said sheepishly, refusing to make eye contact.

“I wasn’t listening for it,” Byleth told her earnestly, “I...I couldn’t sleep, myself, and I just...” She caught a quick flash of lilac, desperate and lonely. Byleth cleared her throat. “Do you...want to talk about it?”

Edelgard sat up, pulling her legs up close to her chest. “I doubt it would help,” she muttered bitterly. The way Byleth’s varsity hoodie encompassed her small frame made her seem extra vulnerable now.

Byleth carefully approached the bed. “It might, though,” she prompted carefully, “Talking helps release pent up energy and emotions.”

She scoffed. “Another medical discovery of this time, I presume?” she asked in annoyance.

“A lot of work has been done with mental health,” Byleth told her, “More still is needed, but...it is infinitely better than what you are used to, I’m sure.”

Edelgard remained silent, eyes focused on the digital clock on the bedside table.

Eventually, after a few minutes passed, Byleth grew bold. “Who were you calling to?” she asked gently, sitting down on the foot of the bed.

“I...” She looked up again, very briefly. All Byleth had time to see was unimaginable pain. “Everyone...anyone...I... I don’t know,” she whispered, “There were so many shadows. People without faces. Voices with no bodies. They all felt familiar but... They were all leaving.”

Byleth had no doubt she had been one of those faceless shadows. The thought made her heart ache with a guilt she’s lived with for eight hundred years.

“I...” she began. Hesitant. Scared. This apology was coming far too late, and perhaps at a bad time, but if she were to move forward, it had to be said. “I’m sorry,” she said, head bowed, “I’m so sorry, Edelgard. I...I didn’t know what I wanted. I didn’t know what to do. I...I should have been more sure. Confident, like you always are. I should have been there for you when you needed me the most and I wasn’t and... I’m sorry.”

Edelgard stayed quiet. She sniffled softly, and wiped away some fresh tears with the sleeve of the sweater. “You hesitated because you could see what I truly was,” she eventually murmured, pulling her sleeve down a little to trace the shackle scars along her wrist, “You all were smart to stay away from me. You said the world is the way it is because of me... But would it have been the same had I gotten my way? Or is it like this because of you?”

Byleth opened her mouth to protest, but words wouldn’t form.

“I knew my path would be a lonely one when I chose it,” Edelgard confessed, “A path of isolation and blood, one where I rid the world of monsters by becoming one myself. Someone as kind and wonderful as you should never have to dirty your feet as I did... None of you should have.”

“You aren’t a monster,” Byleth said, perhaps a little too quickly, “And I would have. I should have. I... When Rhea made me choose I just... I didn’t know...”

“I shouldn’t have made you choose, either,” Edelgard replied, “I made the decision for you in my head the moment you hesitated, and every moment since. I just... It was easier to let my heart break and stay broken than to try to keep fixing it, only for my efforts to have been for naught. Even when we met again in the Goddess Tower, I... I had become so jaded that I believed there was no way you actually cared. After all: no one else did.”

“That’s...that’s not true,” Byleth admitted, “They all came, Edelgard. All of the Eagles. They though you were the one who didn’t care. I...I should have said something. Told them that you did, but...”

She smiled sadly. “It’s in the distant past, now,” she breathed, “It doesn’t matter.”

Byleth frowned. An unpleasant lump of emotion was forming in her throat that she couldn’t swallow down. “But it does matter,” she said quietly, “It did back then, and it still does now. Maybe things would have been different if...” She stopped, shaking her head in frustration. It would do neither of them good to dwell in ‘what-ifs’. “When we first came back here, you...mentioned something,” she pressed gently, wincing as she spoke, “You said you...expected... to die by my blade.” She met Edelgard’s gaze, lilac eyes brimming with tears. “You...begged me to do it,” she whispered.

“I knew I had lost,” Edelgard uttered, “I lost, Byleth. My war. My empire. My crown... My friends... My family... I have always looked to the future, refusing to look back on the past. And every time, I was able to envision the future I strived for. But... When I lost that fight... I tried to look into the future and I saw nothing. Just darkness. I knew then that I had one of two choices: surrender, and succumb to the crushing weight of despair and guilt and failure; or die.” She paused, wiping the moisture from her eyes with a grimace. “Just...give up, fall into the void. Lay down my axe and finally, finally stop fighting. I tried. I tried so hard to fight it back, to make something of my miserable existence before death caught up with me, but... I lost.”

Byleth felt the dagger of guilt sink deeper into her un-beating heart. She wished more than anything to be able to go back to that moment, that fateful decision point where she chose wrong. But that was impossible. She could only move forward. That’s all anyone could do. She hoped. “And...what about now?” she asked hesitantly, waiting with baited breath and praying, “What do you see if you look to the future, now?”

Edelgard rested her chin on her knees, staring off into a darkened corner of the room. She sat for a few minutes, eyes vacant, before answering. “I...I don’t know,” she admitted sadly, “It’s...it’s still so dark. I...I don’t know where I can go from here.” Her eyes moved to the window, where the never-ending light of the city flowed in through cracks in the blinds. “I’m not sure how I will fit into this world, or if I even can,” she said, sounding so uncharacteristically small, “Everything’s so different from what I’m used to. At least then, when I lost everyone I cared about, I still had my belongings. My home. Or...what used to be my home. I have even less now than I did then.”

Her gaze moved again, finding Byleth’s in the dark room. She saw the deep, earnest concern on her former teacher’s face, and the faintest bit of light appeared in the void of darkness that was her envisioned future. “But...” she said slowly, carefully, “Perhaps... Perhaps I am not as alone as I think.”

“You’re not,” Byleth replied quickly, a cautious smile beginning to spread on her face, “I’m here, Edelgard. This time I promise I won’t leave you.”

Edelgard tried to mirror the careful grin, but her smile did not reach her eyes. “I...” She looked away abruptly, eyes closing tight as if wincing in pain... or bracing for the backlash. “I... Forgive me, my Teacher,” she breathed, shame practically dripping from her words, “But... I wish I could believe you.”

Byleth felt her heart drop in her chest. Those words were the slap in the face she wished Edelgard would just get on with. Byleth deserved it, after all. After everything she had done to the poor woman sitting before her. The lump in her throat was most definitely a sob, and it took everything in her to keep it down. But she couldn’t hold back the tears in her eyes.

“I’m going to help you find that belief,” Byleth said solemnly, scooting a little closer on the bed, “I know my words probably mean very little right now. You have every right to never want to listen to me or trust me ever again. You don’t even have to forgive me. Just...just know that I’m here for you now. You can stay here for as long as you need. I can teach you everything about this world and fitting into it. You don’t have to believe me, but just...know...that you’re safe here.”

It came slow, at first. Like the rain before a storm. Tears neither of them could hold back any longer began to flow. It was Edelgard who moved first, throwing herself forward and clinging with a desperation that consumed her. Byleth felt those strong hands of an Emperor now shakily grasp her shoulders, fingers digging in as if Edelgard was expecting the universe to wrench them apart.

Byleth was no longer able to hold back that sob, and it tore through the damn holding back her emotions like a wrecking ball. She hadn’t cried this much in centuries. And she forgot how much it hurt.

“I’m sorry, Edelgard,” she choked out, holding on just as fiercely, “Goddess, I’m so sorry.” She swallowed roughly. Her words felt like bile in her mouth. Like they could never fully express what she felt. Weakly, no more than a whisper, she confessed, “I thought I lost you forever. I thought I would never get to tell you... Goddess I wish things had been different.”

Edelgard sniffled, her own sobs slowly fading as Byleth’s words hit her. “I thought...five years was long,” she said softly, pulling away so their eyes could meet, “I know we fought, but... Seeing you after all that time...” She wiped the tears from her cheeks, offering a weepy smile. “I was still so happy to see you alive.”

Byleth met her with a grin of her own, her sobs breaking into gentle chuckles. “I would have waited a thousand years for you,” she breathed, “Two thousand. A million. I can’t begin to tell you how happy I am to see you here, despite...despite everything.”

“Then... Perhaps that should be what we focus on,” Edelgard said, “The past is gone. And though we both will bear the scars it left us for the rest of our lives, scars will fade. I...I should know.”

Byleth gently reached out and cupped her friend’s cheek. “You can be anything you want to be in this life, Edelgard,” she stated, “This time, the path is yours to choose. And I promise I’ll help you along the way, for as long as you want my help.”

“My Teach- ...Byleth,” Edelgard whispered, mimicking the affectionate action, “I have always wanted to walk with you. So in this life, I shall.”

“I won’t leave your side for anything, this time,” Byleth vowed.

“E...even...now?” Edelgard asked, sheepishly looking away as she nervously wrung the sheets in her hands. “I...I haven’t been able to get a good night’s rest in... I’m not sure how long. But, perhaps if you’re here, the nightmares might-”

Before she could finish, Byleth flopped comically down on the empty side of the bed, answering the request without any words spoken.

Relief washed over the former Emperor in an instant, and with a small smile, she sunk down under the covers, facing her host on the bed. Byleth reached out and carefully took her hand in hers, giving it a small, affirming squeeze.

“I’m here,” she whispered, “I promise. And if I’m not when you wake up, you can find me in the kitchen.”

Edelgard nodded in reply. “Thank you, Byleth,” she whispered back, closing her eyes as sleep slowly came back to her.

Byleth shut her eyes as well, and as she drifted off, she heard a very earnest, very grateful: “Thank you.”

---

The next morning, Edelgard awoke and Byleth’s spot was empty on the bed. A brief moment of panic seized her heart, until she remembered the rest of her promise. Carefully, she pulled the covers back and left the bed, first heading to the window. The strange, new Enbarr greeted her as she opened the blinds, with its impossibly tall buildings and endless noise. But at least the colours of dawn remained the same.

She cautiously headed through the apartment, taking in the details she had been overwhelmed by the night before. Everything seemed so strange. The furniture was oddly shaped, and far too much of something: too soft, too hard, too simple, too complex. Everything felt so bright as light from the morning sun flooded through the large windows and doors to the balcony. The colour scheme in Byleth’s apartment was mostly neutral: white walls, light grey rug, light wooden floors... Actually, was it wood? It looked like it but didn’t feel like it... She had the odd pop of colour in a cushion or a plant but otherwise it all felt so...empty and bleak compared to the deep, rich colours of the tapestries and upholstery the Imperial family kept in the palace.

She drew a deep breath as she tried to calm down her fears, and as she did, a familiar scent hit her nose: bergamot. And her worries faded as a smile formed on her face.

True to her word, she found Byleth in the kitchen. A well-used teapot sat on the small table, scented steam wafting out and filling the room with the smell of her favourite tea. Two teacups were placed on either side of the table, beside two mismatched plates. Beside the pot was a rectangular, brightly coloured box.

Byleth was rooting through a tall, silver storage unit next to the counter with the...what was it called again...microwave? She stood up, a blue carton in her hand, and smiled when she noticed her guest. “Perfect timing,” she said warmly, setting the carton down on the table, “You liked milk, yes?”

“That’s milk?” Edelgard asked, eyeing the carton with curiosity.

“Yep,” Byleth said simply, reaching into a cupboard and taking out a small jar, “And sugar, too, right?”

Edelgard merely nodded. She hadn’t missed the amount of boxes and jars of food in just that one cupboard alone, and couldn’t imagine how much more could possibly be stored in this kitchen. She reached for the carton of milk, gasping slightly to discover it was cold, and she was fairly certain that silver box was too small to hold ice blocks.

Byleth chuckled, watching as Edelgard glared at the milk carton as if she had just demanded it tell her all its secrets. “Come sit, Edelgard,” she said as she took a seat across the table, “I’ll explain more after breakfast. I got us a little treat.”

She gestured to the box. Edelgard cocked her head as she regarded the strange package. Big, ridiculous letters spelled out...something... Although she had no idea what the word was or what it meant. “Do...nuts?” she wondered, looking up at Byleth with a lost expression.

Byleth merely grinned and opened the box, revealing six decadent-looking pastries. Each one was different, and strange...but the smell alone was incredibly tempting. Five of them were shaped like rings, with a hole in the centre of the cake. The sixth one was a solid circle, covered in a copious amount of white powder.

“That one’s a jelly-filled,” Byleth said as she noticed Edelgard eyeing it, “Strawberry. Then there’s chocolate dipped, old-fashioned, honey cruller...” She pointed to a different one as she listed them, going from the one with a dark brown topping, a simple plain one, and one that was fancifully twisted and covered in white glaze. Next, she pointed to one with pink frosting, and bright, rainbow sprinkles. “Strawberry dipped,” she said, “It’s seasonal, and really good, by the way.”

“And the last one?”

“The best one,” Byleth told her confidently, “Double chocolate.”

The fact that anything was single chocolate, let alone double absolutely floored her. Chocolate had been one of the most valued delicacies that she was aware of. Much like coffee, the beans needed to produce it could only be grown in consistently warm, humid climates that only the southern-most parts of Adrestia could support. Instead, it largely came from other nations that sat further south, and as a result was often incredibly hard and expensive to procure. Being Emperor, she had had the fortune of tasting chocolate before, and had loved it. But even she could only get her hands on a small box only a few times a year.

And now here was this...donut...that was both made with chocolate, but also dipped in it.

“What...exactly is the occasion?” she asked hesitantly, “Surely this cost you greatly.”

“Nah,” Byleth said with a nonchalant shrug, “The whole box was about six bucks.”

“...Six...Bucks?”

“Never mind. That’s just slang for ‘dollars’.”

“...D...dollars?”

Byleth blinked. “Oh...right, sorry. I forgot currency changed quite a bit over time,” she said sheepishly, “It...it doesn’t matter. All the stuff that made pastries expensive back in the past is widely available now.” She then smiled shyly, and continued cautiously, “Last night was...a little rough. I know you’re going through a lot and it’s not going to change over night. It...it likely will only get harder, for a while.”

Edelgard found herself nodding at that, prompting Byleth to wince. “But I just... I thought these might help,” she said with a lopsided grin, “No matter how confusing and scary the world might seem, there are good things in it.” She gestured to the box, prompting Edelgard to take her pick. “Like donuts.”

Edelgard reached out tentatively, but rather than selecting a donut, her hand found Byleth’s resting on the other side of the table. “And...you,” she said quietly, a generous dusting of pink spreading across her cheeks.

Byleth’s heart had never moved a day in her immortal life, but in that moment, it fluttered, leapt like a bird taking to the sky. She didn’t know why or how, but in that moment, it felt right.

She chuckled softly, impressed by how smooth her former student was. She brought her other hand down over Edelgard’s, giving it a small squeeze. “I’ll always be right here,” she promised.

They held each other’s gaze far longer than either of them realized, and once they did, they broke apart, both of them blushing furiously. “Well, go one then!” Byleth coughed out awkwardly, gesturing to the box, “I’m excited to know what you think.”

Edelgard eyed the double chocolate one. “It... You said that one was your favourite...” she began slowly, “I don’t want to take it for myself...”

“It’s alright. We can split them,” Byleth offered, getting up to retrieve a knife. Upon her return, she selected the donut from the box and set it down on her plate, before cutting it in half. She then offered a half to Edelgard.

Edelgard picked it up carefully, looking over the pastry thoroughly. Byleth merely chuckled and simply took a bite out of her half, an action Edelgard hesitantly followed.

The moment the chocolaty goodness hit her tongue, her eyes widened and lit up like the sun. “Oh Goddess,” she breathed, before eagerly taking another bite.

Byleth’s chuckle turned into a mirthful laugh.

[bewitching-elizabeth-olsen]

Press: A Thorough Breakdown of All the Marvel Easter Eggs on WandaVision

POPSUGAR: WandaVision has finally arrived, and it’s chock-full of hidden goodies for Marvel fans to devour! While the series is built upon a mystery that we’ll be spending a reported nine episodes trying to figure out, the smallest details in each episode provide clues on where the show is heading. From supermarket banners to foreboding commercials, viewers have an abundance of references and callbacks to classic comic lore and pivotal MCU moments. Are they setting the stage for a big reveal at the end, or are they just fun details included for fans to enjoy? While we try to figure it all out, scroll through to see what we’ve gathered! And check back every week for an episode-by-episode breakdown as WandaVision progresses.

WandaVision Episode 7 Easter Eggs

The episode opens the morning after Wanda has expanded the border of the Hex, finding the Avenger hiding from the world under her comforter. The comforter in question has a hexagon pattern, which is both a nod to the overall theme of the show as well as a metaphor for how Wanda is literally hiding away under a hex.

Billy and Tommy run into the room to reveal that their video game console has been messing up. Everything in the house is glitching, trying to transform back to earlier versions of themselves.

Billy also tells his mother that his head hurts and things are “noisy.” Since the twin inherited his mother’s ability to read minds, it seems he’s able to hear the thoughts of everyone in the bubble (and near it on the outside, since he was able to hear his father when he was dying). It’s a sign that Billy’s powers are growing, which means we could see the little boy reach his Wiccan potential before the end of the season.

Wanda wanders into the kitchen as the news drones on in the background. The news station is called W.N.D.A. or Wanda. The newscaster makes pointed comments, noting that there’s “not a thing weighing heavily on your conscience,” and that they “hope your little ghosts arrived home safe last night. It’s always such a treat to see those creepy kiddos out and about once a year.” The comments refer to Wanda’s building guilt at her actions in the previous episode and the rare appearance of children during the Halloween episode.

As Wanda makes her breakfast of “Sugar Snaps,” a nod to the big Snap of the universe, her milk carton reverts from its modern design to the old school glass bottle and back. The carton has a missing person’s ad on the back with a picture of a little boy on the back. This could be a reference to the oft-mentioned absence of children of Westview, and what could have happened to them.

Wanda and the twins “break the fourth wall” frequently to talk to the camera in the same vein as Modern Family.

This week’s theme song sounds similar to The Office’s, which also usings talking head segments like Modern Family. The opening credits are similar to the show Happy Endings and allude to the show’s focus on Wanda, even attributing the creation of WandaVision to her with the title image. Vision is notably completely absent from the opening credits, but there’s a clue that someone else is watching in a message that reads, “I know what u are doing Wanda.”

Agnes stops by to take the boys off of Wanda’s hands, which the exhausted mother is exceedingly grateful for. The twins are visibly uncomfortable with the idea, with Tommy asking Wanda if they have to and Billy telling his mother that someone has to stay to take care of her. It seems like they can sense that something is off with their “kindly” neighbor.

Wanda sends them off with Agnes, but once they’re gone, her magic goes incredibly haywire. All the furniture begins glitching again, with the stork from the painting in episode three making a reappearance. “I don’t understand what’s happening,” Wanda laments during a talking head segment. “Why it’s all falling apart and why I can’t fix it.” The off-screen interviewer responds, “Do you think maybe it’s what you deserve?” which visibly unnerves Wanda, who notes that they aren’t supposed to speak. It’s another sign that Wanda does not have as much control as she’s been led to believe.

Cue the sixth commercial, and it’s even more pointed than any of the others have been. It’s an ad for the antidepressant Nexus, for “when the world doesn’t revolve around you. Or does it?” The drug allows people to anchor themselves to the reality of their choice with side effects that include “feeling your feelings, confronting your truth, seizing your destiny, and possibly more depression.” Whew, the pointed commentary is even making me sweat. Nexus is a nod to two things: Wanda’s crippling inability to deal with the trauma she’s been through and her depression that’s pushed her into the creation of Westview, and two Marvel comics concepts. The first is the Nexus of All Realities is a kind of gateway point between dimensions from which all universes in the multiverse can be accessed. (Remember, Wanda’s next reported appearance is in Multiverse of Madness.) The second concept is the existence of Nexus beings, people who have powers that can alter reality, probability, and the Universal Time Stream. Guess which two Westview residents are considered Nexus beings? That’s right, Wanda and Vision! The commercial can either be just a cheeky nod to the couple’s seemingly infinite power or an allusion to the bigger picture that WandaVision is leading to.

While Darcy and Vision are attempting to make their way to the house, the doctor gives the synthezoid a brief rundown of his origin story, explaining how he died twice in an attempt to save the world. Vision points out that it seems like someone is trying to keep him from getting home, which spurs him to fly off, leaving Darcy behind in the blocked truck.

Billy and Tommy are watching Yo Gabba Gabba in Agnes’s lowkey creepy home. (It tickles me that Yo Gabba Gabba is more canon in the MCU than the X-Men or Fantastic Four right now.) While Billy pets Agnes’s bunny Señor Scratchy, he notes that he likes being around the older woman because he’s unable to hear any of her thoughts. “You’re quiet inside,” he says, an allusion to the idea that Agnes can hide her thoughts from him because she has magic.

Back outside the Hex, after the super-rover isn’t able to penetrate the field, Monica decides to run through it again. As she struggles through the barrier and we watch her, a montage of dialogue from Captain Marvel plays. The voices of Maria, Nick Fury, and Carol play over Monica getting through, and as Captain Marvel says “when they were handing out little kids, your mom got the toughest one,” Monica she pushes through to the other side. She lands in the stereotypical three-point-stance of all Marvel heroes, and her eyes glow, showing that she can see energy. We just witnessed the rise of Photon, folks! (Or Spectrum or Pulsar.)

Monica confronts Wanda in her home, and as their fight spills onto the lawn, the residents of Westview watch from their own homes. The delivery man is wearing a “Presto Delivery” uniform, a reference to the magic words said by magicians before they pull a magic trick.

In the first blatant show of Agnes’s ulterior motives, the older woman stops the fight when she realizes Monica is getting through to Wanda and pulls the young mother into her home. But when Wanda gets there, she notices the green bug and rabbit in the living room and the lack of her sons’ presence. When she asks Agnes where the boys are, she’s told to head to the basement, where the big showdown occurs. The scene hints at the eventual disappearance of Billy and Tommy.

Wanda notices a book on an altar, which could be the Darkhold, also known as The Book of Sins, The Shiatra Book Of The Damned. Originally a collection of papers known as the Chthon Scrolls, the book contains all the spells and ideas of the evil Elder God known as Chthon. The book is a conduit for Chthon’s power and can open a doorway from Earth to Chthon’s dimension. If that book is in Agnes’s basement, it stands to logic that she may be working with the evil god. The Darkhold emits an orange glow, which is a distinctly different color than the purple of Agatha’s magic.

Speaking of magic, Agnes finally reveals herself as the witch we’ve known her to be. Although the show tells us that “it’s been Agatha all along,” it still doesn’t ring completely true. There’s definitely more at work than just Agatha’s magic.

In the mid-credits sequence, Monica is caught snooping in Agnes’s backyard by Pietro. Her eyes seem to glow purple, the same color that signals Agatha’s magic. Does this mean she’s now under the witch’s spell?

  WandaVision Episode 6 Easter Eggs

The opening credits for episode six seem to be a tribute to Malcolm in the Middle, which ran for seven seasons between 2000 and 2006.

The entire Wanda and Vision family wear their comic book character costumes for Halloween.

There’s another reference to Thanos’s snap as Director Tyler Hayward talks about dealing with the repercussions of all the people “who left.”

The terrifying Yo-Magic commercial seems to foreshadow Vision’s future. Even though Wanda was seemingly able to bring Vision back to life, it looks like he won’t stay alive for long as it’s implied that he can’t exist outside of the Hex later in the episode.

Blink and you’ll miss the fun Disney movie Easter egg on Westview’s movie theater. The sign outside the theater shows a double feature of The Incredibles and The Parent Trap. Connecting right to Wanda’s family, The Incredibles is about a family of superheroes, while The Parent Trap is about a pair of long-lost twins reuniting.

Wanda’s changing accent has been brought up countless times by fans, and in episode six, Pietro makes a slight reference to it when Wanda asks, “What happened to your accent?” to which he quips, “What happened to yours?”

There is another reference that Agnes is actually Agatha Harkness as she is spotted wearing a witch costume on Halloween.

It appears that Vision has no memories pre-Westview, as a conscious Agnes tells him he’s one of the Avengers, and he has no clue what she’s talking about.

The episode further hints at Monica’s powers as Darcy confirms that the Hex rewrote her cells on a molecular level.

A few interactions between Pietro and Wanda have fans wondering if he might actually be Mephisto in disguise. Not only is he fully aware about Wanda creating Westview, but he makes several references to the devil and hell throughout the episode.

  WandaVision Episode 5 Easter Eggs

Wanda and Vision’s brand new house, suitable for a family of four, is reminiscent of homes in ’80s sitcoms such as Full House and Growing Pains.

When Agnes comes in to offer her babysitting help, she refers to herself as “Auntie Agnes,” which is eerily close to her comic counterpart’s nickname, Auntie Agatha.

An uncomfortable break in conversation leads Agnes to ask Wanda if she wants her to “take it from the top.” Though Wanda appears confused for a moment, she readily smoothes the conversation and carries on. Vision is visibly perturbed, though Wanda attempts to redirect his attention. It seems like the facade is fading all around.

To the surprise of their parents, Tommy and Billy age up five years while the two argue over Agnes’s break in character.

This episode’s opening sequence shows Wanda and Vision growing up, which we know didn’t happen in real life for the synthezoid. The theme song sounds very similar to those from Family Ties and Growing Pains, and consists of lyrics noting that “we’re just making it up as we go along.” Sounds pretty close to how things are going with Wanda and Vision!

When Wanda’s scans come back, they’re inconclusive and show up blank. Considering Monica gains her powers due to bombardment by extradimensional energies in the comics, it’s entirely possible that the blast from Wanda back in episode three, coupled with passing through the forcefield around Westview twice, have given her those abilities. We could be seeing the rise of Photon!

While Jimmy Woo is explaining Wanda’s backstory to the agents of S.W.O.R.D., Director Hayward asks if she’s ever used a “funny nickname” like the other Avengers. She hasn’t, in fact, she’s never been referred to as Scarlet Witch in the MCU ever. Since her powers are different from her comic book counterpart, there’s never been a reason for anyone to call her a witch.

That never-before-seen post credits scene from Infinity War has officially made its debut. Director Hayward reveals footage of Wanda entering S.W.O.R.D. headquarters to steal Vision’s disassembled body. The video harks back to a moment in the comics where Vision was kidnapped and taken apart — but still very much alive. Much like that Vision, the one in Westview has his memory wiped and doesn’t remember anything before he woke up in his new world. So, the question is whether Vision is actually alive or not. Wanda’s hallucination from episode four might suggest he’s a walking corpse, but there’s more to the story.

Jimmy mentions that Wanda’s stealing of Vision’s body violates the Sokovia Accords, which haven’t been mentioned since Captain America: Civil War. Unfunnily enough, the Accords were a direct response to the mission gone wrong in Lagos where Wanda lost control of her powers and caused the death of many civilians.

Darcy mentions that Vision is playing “Father Knows Best in Surburbia,” referencing the ’50s sitcom.

Tommy and Billy find a dog that, with the help of Auntie Agnes, they name Sparky. The Vision family has a dog with that exact name in the King and Walta comics, but he’s green. Sadly, he meets a similar fate as his live-action counterpart.

Wanda blatantly uses her powers in front of Agnes, who has seemingly handled the magic around her with ease. It’s almost as if she’s used to magic.

Darcy calls the Westview anomaly the “hex” because of its hexagonal shape. Although the magic has been taken out of the phrase, Wanda’s powers are known as hexes in the comics.

Jimmy, Monica, and Darcy try to understand how Wanda can revive Vision and control the Hex, which takes much more power than she’s ever displayed before. Monica notes that Wanda has always been powerful, being the only Avenger who was close to taking down Thanos singlehandedly, which Jimmy interjects to note that Captain Marvel could as well. Both are empowered by Infinity Stones, with Carol’s Kree biology giving her a power boost.

When Jimmy brings up Captain Marvel, Monica is visibly uncomfortable and changes the subject back to Wanda. What happened there?

Vision’s office mates learn about the sweet glory that is dial-up internet! But when he and Norm open their first bit of electronic mail, it’s a transmission picked up from S.W.O.R.D. talking about the Maximoff anomaly.

Vision breaks through Norm’s conditioning, revealing that he’s under the control of a woman (alluding to it being Wanda). He directly references his family, a conversation that Jimmy mentioned in his notes in the last episode.

The twins have aged themselves up to 10 by this point and are seemingly completely aware that Wanda has control over certain aspects of life, like time. They point out that it was Saturday when they woke up, but Wanda says it’s now Monday. She apparently changed the day to send Vision to work. Is their awareness because they also have magic or because she doesn’t control them?

Monica sends an ’80s drone into Westview after working out that Wanda’s Hex is rewriting reality to suit each era occurring in the bubble, and the drone would need no era-appropriate change. Though she attempts to speak with Wanda through the drone, Director Hayward commands agents to fire a missile at Wanda instead — directly ignoring that Monica said she doesn’t see Wanda as a danger. The action results in Wanda leaving the Hex and confronting the S.W.O.R.D. agents outside. She’s wearing the suit we last saw her wearing in Infinity War and Endgame and has her accent back, although it’s much thicker than it’s been since Ultron.

Episode five’s commercial is more pointed than any of them have been. Lagos brand paper towels directly reference the city in which Wanda accidentally killed several people in Civil War by blowing up a building. Thus, the Sokovia Accords were born.

While Wanda and the twins are searching for a missing Sparky — with no one calling out the fact that Wanda disappeared for some time — the mailman tells the boys that their mom “won’t let him get far.” It seems almost like a dig at how no one can leave Westview, like the doctor mentioned during episode three.

When Agnes reveals that Sparky died after eating too many azalea bush leaves, the boys ask their mother to reverse his death. Agnes seems particularly surprised by the idea of Wanda having that ability despite having seen other displays of her power and watching the twins age up rapidly twice. Wanda tells the twins that they can’t reverse death as there are still rules to things, which almost seems hypocritical considering her circumstances. Is she trying to say that she hasn’t revived Vision? Or is she simply trying to keep her boys from expecting too much from her?

Later that night, Vision reveals that he unearthed Norm’s repressed memories and demands to know what’s going on. He tells Wanda that she can’t control him, which she cooly responds asking him, “Can’t I?” Although the credits start rolling, their argument continues as Vision unleashes his frustration with not knowing his past and his confusion over their circumstances. Wanda tells him that she doesn’t control everything, saying, “I don’t even know how all of this started.” Vision believes it began subconsciously, but chastises Wanda for letting it get that far. Wanda reiterates that she isn’t controlling everything, which gives weight to the theory that there’s someone else behind the scenes. But who could it be if Wanda isn’t the “she” that Norm was referring to?

Mid-argument, the Vision family doorbell rings, which Wanda states she didn’t do. I’m inclined to believe her because when she opens the door, she is genuinely shocked speechless. At the door is her “brother” Pietro, now sporting the face of Evan Peters. Darcy asks the question we were all thinking as the episode closes, “She recast Pietro!?”

  WandaVision Episode 4 Easter Eggs

This episode opens with the heartbreaking reveal that Monica Rambeau was one of the people lost to the Snapture from Infinity War. She returns from Endgame’s Reverse-Snap in a hospital where she had been awaiting news after her mother Maria’s surgery.

As Monica is waking up, we hear familiar voices echoing in her head. It’s Captain Marvel calling her by her childhood nickname, Lieutenant Trouble.

As Monica weaves through the chaos of people reappearing in the hospital post-Reverse-Snap, she finally locates someone who recognizes her. Although Maria survived the surgery five years ago, she died from cancer three years ago in real time, having not been blipped with her daughter.

We finally have some information on S.W.O.R.D.! The acronym stands for Sentient Weapon Observation Response Division, rather than the meaning in Marvel comics, which is Sentient World. It sounds a little more ominous, right?

Maria’s badass legacy continues well past her friendship with Captain Marvel; according to S.WO.R.D.’s acting director, Tyler Hayward, Maria helped build the agency during its inception. She was the acting director until her death.

Tim gives Monica a mission to help out the FBI in the town of WestView, NJ, where something super freaky is going on with a missing person’s case. This confirms that WestView is, indeed, a very real place.

Welcome back, Jimmy Woo! Monica’s FBI contact is none other than Scott Lang’s parole officer and semifriend, Agent Jimmy Woo.

Jimmy reveals that a person in witness protection has somehow dropped off the map in a town that no longer seems to exist where no one recalls anyone who lived there. In an attempt to figure out what’s going on, Monica sends in a S.W.O.R.D. drone that vanishes inside the forcefield. It’s revealed to have transformed into the retro-style helicopter that Wanda picks up in episode two! We can only assume that since it’s an item from the outside world, it gained color when it entered Wanda’s reality to show that it doesn’t belong.

Darcy Lewis is back! Now a doctor in astrophysics, Darcy is called to help figure out what’s gone wrong with WestView. She’s the one who figured out a signal for the broadcast and is the owner of the hand we saw watching Wanda and Vision in episode one.

The mysterious beekeeper from episode two is revealed to be S.W.O.R.D.’s Agent Franklin, who journeyed through Westview’s sewers to investigate. His hazmat suit became a beekeeper’s uniform, and the cable around his waist becomes a jump rope as he travels through the tunnels.

Darcy explains that the sitcom that’s become Wanda and Vision’s life is literally being broadcast through the signals that S.W.O.R.D.’s viewing, with an audience and everything. There’s no explanation for how this is happening, but Darcy and company watched those first three episodes just like we did, credits and all.

Darcy also points out that Vision is supposed to be dead-dead, which leaves his presence in WestView still unexplained.

While Darcy and Jimmy can identity a majority of the neighbors we’ve met in WestView to their real-life counterparts, Dottie and Agnes are the only ones who are missing real information.

It’s revealed that Agent Woo was the voice behind the radio disruption, just as we suspected! But while we can see Wanda and Dottie’s reaction to the call, Darcy’s broadcast didn’t show the same thing. She explains that someone is “censoring” the visuals they’re receiving, which means someone knows they’re watching.

Back in the sitcom WestView, we see that Monica’s slip-up resulted in Wanda blasting her through the house and the energy field. It’s the first time we physically see Wanda using her powers again, so she still has them. But the lapse in her facade has consequences — when Vision returns from his talk with Agnes and Herb outside, Wanda hallucinates him as she last saw him in Infinity War, a corpse with his head crushed in.

It’s important to note that Vision seems to become more aware of the strangeness of their world with each episode. It makes sense because no matter how human he may seem, he’s still a synthezoid who has always been able to see beyond the superficial. It harks back to his “birth” in Age of Ultron. He’s omnipotent and always learning.

When Monica lands back in the real world, all she says is, “It’s all Wanda.” That seemingly serves as an answer to what’s going on in WestView, but it’s not a whole answer. Wanda seems just as confused and unaware as everyone else, but she is willing to stay in her “perfect” world. The question is, who put Wanda in the position to have her perfect world?

  WandaVision Episode 3 Easter Eggs

Much like the comics, Wanda magically becomes pregnant! But this time around, things are progressing much more quickly, and her doctor isn’t Dr. Strange.

The first of the episode’s weird glitches happens with Wanda and Vision’s neighbor Herb, who is attempting to saw through the brick fence separating the two houses instead of trimming his hedges. When Vision points out that his aim has gone a bit askew, Herb’s detached reaction is a bit creepy. He thanks Vision but keeps sawing through the wall! And unlike the previous weird behavior, there’s nothing that triggers the moment, especially not from Vision or Wanda.

Wanda and Vision contemplate what to name their baby boy, with Vision suggesting Billy and Wanda throwing out Tommy. (The argument becomes moot when they have twins!) These are the names of the pair’s sons in the comic, who later become members of the Young Avengers. In the show, Wanda chooses her name because it’s “all-American,” which is also a fair indicator of why her perfect reality is framed around sitcoms. Vision cites William Shakespeare as his inspiration and uses a quote from As You Like It that seems pretty on the nose. “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players” seems like a pointed reference to the fact that WandaVision is, in fact, all a show.

Wanda decorates the nursery using Simser brand paint, which is most likely a nod to Jeremy Simser, a storyboard artist for Marvel Studios and WandaVision.

The second glitch appears when Wanda says the residents of WestView always seem “on the verge of discovering our secret.” Vision has a moment of sobering clarity where he notes that something is wrong in WestView, citing the incidents with Mr. and Mrs. Hart and their neighbor Herb. A second after his says this, reality glitches and the scene starts over with Vision seemingly worry-free. The last time this happened with the beekeeper, it was clear Wanda was the culprit in turning back time, but in this case, she doesn’t seem to do anything to force the change. This suggests someone else is pulling the strings.

Wanda mentions that their child could be human or “synthezoid,” a term that originates in the comics. Although fans like to joke that Vision is an android, he’s technically a synthetic human. He’s not made of metal or machinery — in the comics, his body is composed of the bioengineering tech of Dr. Helen Cho, while in the MCU, he’s made of organic tissue mixed with vibranium and “powered” by the Mind Stone.

Vision jokes that Billy will be just like his mom, which is funny because, in the comics, Billy has magical abilities similar to Wanda’s powers. Tommy ends up having superspeed abilities like his uncle, Pietro.

It’s time for the third commercial! Much like the previous episode’s watch promotion, this break references Hydra — though a tad more directly. It’s all about Hydra Soak, and the message is decidedly more pointed than we’ve had before. “Escape to a world all your own, where your problems float away,” the announcer says. “When you want to get away, but you don’t want to go anywhere: Hydra Soak.” Marvel: Agents of Shield fans will recall that Hydra Soak HAS been mentioned on the show. During the series’s Framework arc, Phil Coulson claims that Hydra is brainwashing people using soap, so he makes his own. Is the commercial another sign that Hydra is behind the mystery of WestView? Is it a warning that no one in the town will be able to get away? And what’s that about finding the goddess within?

The actors in this ad are the same ones as the previous ones, Victoria Blade and Ithamar Enriquez. Their recurring presence might mean they have some significance in Wanda’s life. Maybe they’re her parents?

In what feels like an ominous follow-up to the Hydra Soak commercial, the doctor reveals that he and his wife won’t be taking their trip away after all. “Small towns, you know, so hard to escape,” he mutters, pointedly. I think we’re starting to get the hint, folks! Wanda mentions she is a twin and that her brother was named Pietro. It’s been a hot minute since anyone has talked about MCU’s Quicksilver — he made his debut back in Age of Ultron, the same film in which he was shot and killed.

When Geraldine lets it slip that she knows about Pietro’s death at the hands of Ultron, Wanda interrogates her and discovers her necklace bears a familiar symbol — it’s that damn S.W.O.R.D. logo, and Wanda is apparently not a fan.

In another sign that something is UP, Agnes and Herb seem to warn Vision about Geraldine. They note that she’s “brand new” to town with no family and start to say that “she came here because we’re all —” before they’re cut off. It’s worth noting that the two figures that may be MCU versions of formidable Marvel characters are the ones who seem to understand that strange things are going on in WestView. If Agnes and Herb are the MCU’s Agatha Harkness and High Evolutionary, they would definitely be the ones in the know. But why would they try to warn Vision about Geraldine if WestView is a trap?

Agnes is wearing her infamous brooch as a necklace that could be referencing an MCU supervillain mentioned before. The necklace has three figures close together, with the center figure holding what looks like a giant scythe. Is it another clue that the Grim Reaper is on his way?

Wanda literally throws Geraldine out of town — though she tells Vision that she had to run home — and Geraldine passes through what seems like a magical forcefield. While fans have been assuming WestView is a fake town, this shows us that physically, it’s a very real place. But it’s currently bubbled off with a barrier that Wanda can apparently allow people in and out of. And the song that plays as Geraldine finds herself outside the barrier? “Daydream Believer” by The Monkees. It seems pretty appropriate for a situation that feels like a surreal dream.

When Geraldine lands on the outskirts of real WestView, she’s instantly swarmed by cars and agents all bearing the S.W.O.R.D. logo. Since we know Teyonah Parris is playing the adult Monica Rambeau, it’s safe to assume Geraldine was an alias she used to go undercover in WestView. Combined with the mystery agent watching the show within the show from episode one, we can conclude that Wanda and Vision are being closely observed by S.W.O.R.D. for some reason. But they clearly aren’t the ones in control, since Monica is so easily forced out. What will they do next?

While the opening credits of this episode are a reference to The Brady Bunch, it’s the end credits that give us another clue about the big bad coming our way. Just like the previous episodes, Wanda and Vision are framed in a hexagon as the end credits roll. The symbol is so important because it’s the preferred shape of the creators at Advanced Idea Mechanics, or AIM, who are last seen in Iron Man 3. Remember the beekeeper suits that resemble AIM agents’ clothing? It seems like the evil organization might be making a comeback.

  WandaVision Episode 2 Easter Eggs

The opening credits for this episode aren’t just an adorable homage to Bewitched but a whole bevy of Marvel Easter eggs! The illustration of the moon happens to be surrounded by six stars, and we can’t help but be reminded of the Infinity Gauntlet.

When Vision phases through the floor, there’s a dark shape that looks exactly like the helmet worn by Marvel supervillain Grim Reaper hidden in the space. In the comics, he’s the brother of Wonder Man, whose brainwaves were used in Vision’s creation.

When Wanda goes to the supermarket in the opening, three references hang above the aisle! Bova Milk refers to Bova, the humanoid cow who raised Wanda and Pietro on Mount Wundagore. Auntie A’s kitty litter is a witchy reference to Auntie Agatha or Agatha Harkness, whom we’ve discussed before, and her cat-like familiar named Ebony. And Wonder Mints is most definitely a cheeky reference to Wonder Man, aka Simon Williams, the superhero who Vision’s brainwaves are based on in the comics!

When animated Wanda and Vision settle on their couch, the small figure on their side table is a statue of the Whizzer. Featured in 1982’s Vision and the Scarlet Witch, the Whizzer thought he was Wanda’s father but later discovers he was wrong. Whizzer and his wife were offered the chance to adopt Wanda and Pietro when they were kids on the mythical Mount Wundagore, but they declined.

When Wanda hears a crash outside the house, she heads out to the front, where she finds a colorful toy helicopter in an otherwise black-and-white world. Not only does the red-and-yellow helicopter have the number 57 stamped on it, but it also bears the S.W.O.R.D symbol! The number is likely in reference to Vision’s first appearance in Avengers #57, while the symbol hints to the presence of S.W.O.R.D outside Wanda’s perfect world.

The creepy, cult-like refrain spoken by the fundraiser organizers of it all being “for the children” seems to be a reference to Wanda’s involvement in the comic event The Children’s Crusade. The story follows her son, Billy, who’s trying to gain control over his reality-warping abilities by looking for a missing Wanda.

Well, here’s another blast from the angsty past! The Strücker timepiece is a very obvious callback to Hydra and Baron von Strücker. The watch bears the unmistakable octopus skull symbol of Hydra, and Strücker is the Hydra leader who recruited Pietro and Wanda for the experimentation that gave them powers. He was later killed by Ultron in his prison cell. Does anyone else hear that ticking noise? Remember good ol’ Herb? In the comics, a character named Herbert is also the High Evolutionary who runs Mount Wundagore, the very same safe haven where Bova delivered the Maximoff twins. Time will tell if the super-scientist is the same character, but it can’t be a coincidence.

Wanda and Vision’s magic show has two gems that we’ve noticed! First thing, the literal Mind Stone happens to be the design on the doors of the Cabinet of Mystery that plays a huge part in their act. Second, Wanda and Vision use the names Illusion and Glamour for their actor, which are also the names of the magicians that Vision goes to see in an issue of The Vision and the Scarlet Witch.

Though we all enjoy a good jam, The Beach Boys’ “Help Me, Rhonda” gets interrupted by someone asking, “Who’s doing this to you, Wanda?” And doesn’t that voice sound an awful lot like Randall Park’s Jimmy Woo?

While it may seem weird that Wanda shows her pregnancy in an instant, it’s in line with what goes on in the comics. Wanda uses magic to help her have children, which checks out since her husband is a synthezoid.

Oooh, that mysterious beekeeper! Not only does their presence lead to the reveal that Wanda has some control over the reality they’re in, but it also sets off some alarm bells. Even though the beekeeper’s suit bears the S.W.O.R.D logo on the back, the costume is reminiscent of the yellow costumes worn by A.I.M., a military science organization founded by Baron von Strücker. Could this be a sign that Wanda is being watched by more than one organization? And is this a hint that Hydra is back!? (Obviously, it is.)

  WandaVision Episode 1 Easter Eggs

When Wanda accidentally smashes a plate into Vision’s head, he jokes about his wife and her “flying saucers,” and she comments back about his “indestructible head.” Considering that Vision died after having the Mind Stone ripped from his head, it’s a dark joke to kick off the series.

Vision’s work tie has a visual reference to his comic-book alter ego! In Tom King and Gabriel Hernandez Walta’s Vision, whenever the character dresses as a human, he wears a tie clip that emulates the diamond pattern on his chest.

Vision’s boss, Mr. Hart, is likely named after comic creator Steve Englehart, who created 1985’s The Vision and the Scarlet Witch with Richard Howell, a miniseries that heavily influenced WandaVision. It’s been heavily implied that Kathryn Hahn’s Agnes is the MCU’s Agatha Harkness, a witch who helped train Wanda’s magic back in the ’70s and ’80s.

When Wanda magically saves dinner, the bottle of wine she pours from is Maison du Mépris, which translates to house of contempt or scorn. As fans have pointed out since the trailer drop, this seems like a reference to the House of M comics storyline in which Wanda bends reality into a new world ruled by her family.

The Stark commercial break refers to two things: Avengers icon Tony Stark and his part in Wanda’s dark past. As Wanda and her twin brother, Pietro, explain in Avengers: Age of Ultron, their parents were killed by an explosive Stark Industries device, leaving the twins trapped under rubble. The Maximoffs were trapped by a Stark Industries shell for two days, expecting it to detonate before they get rescued. Even though Wanda eventually fights beside Tony in the future, there’s still some trauma from that experience and her brother’s death. If it weren’t for the Starks, Wanda could have been a completely different person.

The episode closes with a mysterious observer watching the “show” and taking notes on a pad with the logo of S.W.O.R.D. on the cover. For those who don’t know, S.W.O.R.D stands for Sentient World Observation and Response Department and is a subdivision of S.H.I.E.L.D. It’s a counterterrorism and intelligence agency that deals with extraterrestrial threats to world security. Expect to see them around more.

  Press: A Thorough Breakdown of All the Marvel Easter Eggs on WandaVision was originally published on Elizabeth Olsen Source • Your source for everything Elizabeth Olsen

[musicallisto]

Congratulations!! :DD Could I have a vanilla milkshake for Harry Potter (Golden trio era) please? I’m a introverted straight female, 5’5. Personality-wise, I am really shy when first meeting people, not rude, just quiet and more of listener than a talker. When I open up I’m much more bubbly, sarcastic (playfully), and talkative. I’m very empathetic, laidback and open minded and extremely loyal to everyone in my life. I have a good sense of humour and laugh at most jokes and like some fun banter back and forth :P. I’m also a pretty stubborn person and never get swayed by peer pressure even though I’m extremely insecure regarding my personality, appearance and how I’m viewed by other people. I need to time to recharge after and sometimes during social events and am content with just listening to the other person/people speak to/around me. Bad traits of mine would be, tendency to overwork myself with schoolwork and study, get stressed easily and overanalyse everything (social stuff mostly). Likes: Drawing, Music, Singing, Going on walks and Reading. Dislikes: The Dark (horrible phobia), Bugs, Spiders and Overly Aggressive, Loud and Pushy people. Hufflepuff and ISFP-T if that helps :P.

hi! here’s your vanilla milkshake, I hope you enjoy it! I think neville longbottom would really appreciate your personality and every trait of your character...

Neville is pretty intimidated by... everything, to be honest, when he first arrives at Hogwarts.

But if there’s one thing that radiates comfort and peace, and manages to cheer him up and be a beacon of light in the darkness of the unknown, it’s you.

Although you met at Hogwarts, he gets the feeling that you’ve known each other all your lives. It’s so easy to fall into conversation with you.

Mostly, he truly appreciates how you let him ramble about plants and flowers and botany in general without mocking him for being a “nerd” with “nerd interests”. As much as he appreciates his Gryffindor friends... they can be a little bit close-minded at times.

And everyone can’t adore Defense Against the Dark Arts and Potions like they do. Botanics is his thing, and you will happily listen to him talk about this new herbal remedy from Patagonia he just read about in a book.

He even gifts you flowers and little succulents from to time; most often they’re just Muggle potted plants, because keeping magical plants in a dorm seems like a safety hazard waiting to happen, and you can never know what tricks these plants have up their sleeve. But he knows that you love taking care of plants, talking to them and watering them with great care and tenderness, and it warms his heart to see you actually be thoughtful with something that means so much to him.

You also spend a lot of your free time together in the greenhouses - because Professor Sprout loves you both, you for your dedication and quick wit, and him for his passion for the subject, so she trusts you with almost unrestrained access to the plants. He’ll tell you the magical properties of every single plant and the optimal conditions for their cultivation...

... blushing a little bit whenever he gets to one plant that symbolizes love or affection in wizarding culture.

And it takes you quite some time to catch on, because you’re so close to Neville - almost too close, and he’s your dearest friend, to the point that you’re not shy with him, and that you’d willingly spend hours with him just to playfully tease him - so you never considered him a potential romantic partner.

He was always cute, of course, and thoughtful, and selfless, and he admired you and respected you more than anyone in the world...

... but for some reason you couldn’t truly bypass your mental “best friend” barrier.

Until the day of your Defense Against the Dark Arts N.E.W.T.

You had revised and worked tenaciously, all year long, so as to not be caught off guard by a spell you didn’t master or a technique you couldn’t replicate. You had practised a hundred times, even with the most vile monsters...

... but on D-Day, the Dementor trial was almost too much for you to handle. Sure, you hadn’t slept properly for a week and had driven yourself to the brink of overexhaustion for these exams, and you had been swimming in your stress for the better part of the week as well - but normally you would be able to conjure a Patronus without too much difficulty.

Except when the Dementor took the shape of a black void, a gigantic starless expanse, like an Obscurus waiting to devour you as well as all the light in the world... you thought your heart would stop, and you’d drop your wand in the infinite darkness.

You had forgotten the memory you needed to conjure to chase the Dementor away - you had forgotten almost everything... but you hadn’t forgotten Neville’s voice, and it suddenly rung out in the middle of the overpowering night.

“You can do it. I believe in you.”

“No, Neville, I’m going to fall off!”

“I promise you won’t! Look at me, if I can do it, you can do it too!”

“Will you stay close to me?”

“All the time.”

It was the first time you had ridden a broom - you hadn’t taken the classes during your first year, leaving you a little delayed compared to your classmates, and over the summer Neville had volunteered to teach you. No one else would - you were both the “lost causes” that no one wanted to bother with.

But not Neville. He knew exactly what it was to feel like a lost cause, and he’d never wish it on anyone - especially not you, who was the most wonderful and incredible person he’d ever met.

He had held your hand the whole time, as he promised, and the gesture was born of children’s comfort, but as you recalled the memory, it warmed your chest with something infinitely more powerful.

The Patronus you produced was the strongest you had ever seen.

After the end of the examination, you ran into the corridors until you stumbled upon exactly who you were looking for.

“How did it go?”

And you kissed Neville square on the mouth, in the middle of the hallway.

You had no idea what had come over you at that moment, to be honest. There was no way in hell you would have done something so exuberant and public if you had been in your right mind.

But you were so elated, drunk on this feeling of victory and realization - you wanted Neville to be more than a friend, and unconsciously in your mind he had always been more -, that you let yourself be carried by the flow of your emotions.

“... Wow, I wasn’t expecting that.”

“It went great.”

Oh that it did.

800 follower sleepover CLOSED!

[wreckedhoney]

June 2019 – Highlights of Tristan Harris (Computer Scientist, Design Ethicist, ft. on documentary The Social Dilemma) and others before Senate Commerce Committee regarding large tech companies using algorithms and machine learning to influence the public in the context of radicalization from false information and accountability.

The video is sixteen minutes and transcribed, and I’ll paste the dialogue under a cut for this post with some highlights in bold, but I want to share first just one of the many important insights of this meeting:

“…the business model is to keep people engaged…There's a tendency to think here that this is just human nature – that people are polarized and this is just playing out; it's a mirror it's holding up, a mirror to society. But what it's really doing is it's an amplifier for the worst parts of us.…It's calculating what is the thing that I can show you that will get the most engagement, and it turns out that outrage, moral outrage, gets the most engagement.…the polarization of our society is actually part of the business model.”

“…shorter, briefer things work better in Attention Economy than long, complex, nuanced ideas that take a long time to talk about…But reality and the most important topics to us are increasingly complex, while we can say increasingly simple things about them that automatically creates polarization – because you can't say something simple about something complicated and have everybody agree with you; people will, by definition, misinterpret and hate you for it, and then it's never been easier to retweet that and generate a mob that will come after you… subsequent effects in polarization are amplified by the fact that these platforms are rewarded to give you the most sensational stuff.”

Harris: Everything you said –  it's sad to me because it's happening not by accident but by design, because the business model is to keep people engaged – which, in other words, this hearing is about persuasive technology, and persuasion is about an invisible asymmetry of power. 

When I was a kid, I was a magician, and magic teaches you that you can have asymmetric power without the other person realizing it. You can masquerade to have asymmetric power while looking like you have an equal relationship. You say pick a card, any card, while meanwhile, you know exactly how to get that person to pick the card that you want – and essentially, what we're experiencing with technology is an increasing asymmetry of power that's been masquerading itself as an equal or contractual relationship where the responsibility is on us. 

So, let's walk through why that's happening in the race for attention, because there's only so much attention companies have. They get more of it by being more and more aggressive. I call it “the race to the bottom of the brainstem.” 

So, it starts with techniques like pull-to-refresh; so, you pull to refresh your newsfeed that operates like a slot machine. It has the same kind of addictive qualities that keep people in Las Vegas hooked to the slot machine. Other examples are: removing stopping cues. So, if I take the bottom out of this glass and I keep refilling the water or the wine, you won't know when to stop drinking. So, that's what happens with infinitely scrolling feeds; we naturally remove the stopping cues, and this is what keeps people scrolling. But the race for attention has to get more and more aggressive, and so it's not enough just to get your behavior and predict what will take your behavior; we have to predict how to keep you hooked in a different way. 

It crawled deeper down the brainstem into our social validation – so, that was the introduction of likes and followers and how many followers do I have. It was much cheaper to – instead of getting your attention – to get you addicted to getting attention from other people, and this has created the kind of mass narcissism and mass cultural thing that's happening with young people, especially today. After two decades in decline of the mental health of ten-to-fourteen year old girls, it has actually shot up in the last eight years, and this has been very characteristically the cause of social media and the race for attention. 

It's not enough just to get people addicted to attention, and the race has to migrate to AI, who can build a better predictive model of your behavior. And so, if you give an example of YouTube: You're about to hit play in a YouTube video, and you hit play, and then you think you're gonna watch this one video, and then you wake up two hours later and say, “What just happened?” The answer is, because you had a supercomputer pointed at your brain, the moment you hit play, it wakes up an avatar voodoo doll like version of you inside of a Google server, and that avatar based on all the clicks and likes and everything you've ever made – those are like your hair clippings and toenail clippings and nail filings that make the avatar look and act more and more like you. 

So, that inside of a Google server – they can simulate more and more possibilities. If I pick you for this video, if I pick you for this video, how long would you stay? The business model is simply, “what maximizes watch time?” This leads to the kind of algorithmic extremism that you've pointed out, and this is what's caused 70% of YouTube's traffic down be driven by recommendations; not by human choice, but by the machines. And it's a race between Facebook's voodoo doll, where you flick your finger – can they predict what to show you next? – and Google's voodoo doll. And these are abstract metaphors that apply to the whole tech industry, where it's a race between who can better predict your behavior. 

Facebook has something called loyalty prediction, where they can actually predict to an advertiser when you're about to become disloyal to a brand. So, if you're a mother, and you take Pampers diapers, they can tell Pampers, “Hey, this user is about to become disloyal to this brand.” So, in other words, they can predict things about us that we don't know about our own selves, and that's a new level of asymmetric power. 

And we have a name for this asymmetric relationship, which is a fiduciary relationship, or a duty of care – relationships the same standard we apply to doctors, to priests, to lawyers. Imagine a world in which priests only make their money by selling access to the confession booth to someone else. Except, in this case, Facebook listens to two billion people's confessions, has a supercomputer next to them, and is calculating and predicting confessions you're gonna make before you know you're gonna make them – and that's what's causing all this havoc. 

So, I'd love to talk about more of these things later. I just want to finish up by saying this affects everyone even if you don't use these products. You still send your kids to school where other people believing the anti-vaccine conspiracy theories impact your life, or other people voting in your elections. And when Marc Andreessen said into 2011, that the quote was, “Software is going to eat the world,” and what he meant by that – Marc Andreessen was the founder of Netscape – what he meant by that was that software can do every part of society more efficiently, because it's just adding efficiencies. And so, we're going to allow software to eat up our elections, we're gonna allow it to eat up our media, our taxi, our transportation – and the problem was that software was eating the world without taking responsibility for it. 

We used to have rules and standards around Saturday morning cartoons, and when YouTube gobbles up that part of society, it just takes away all of those protections. And I just want to finish up by saying that I know Mister Rogers, Fred Rogers, testified before this committee fifty years ago, concerned about the animated bombardment that we were showing children. I think he would be horrified today about what we're doing now, and at that same time, he was able to talk to the committee. And that committee made a choice differently, so I'm hoping we can talk more about that today. Thank you. 

Senator Thune (R-South Dakota): We know that internet platforms like Google and Facebook have vast quantities of data about each user. What can these companies predict about users based on that data? 

Harris: Thank you for the question. So, I think there's an important connection to make between privacy and persuasion that I think often isn't linked, so maybe it's helpful to link that. 

With Cambridge analytic – that was an event in which, based on your Facebook Likes, based on a hundred and fifty of your Facebook Likes, I could predict your political personality, and then I could do things with that. The reason I described in my opening statement that this is about an increasing asymmetry of power is that without any of your data, I can predict increasing features about you using AI. 

There's a paper recently that, with 80% accuracy, I can predict your same Big Five personality traits that Cambridge analytic got from you without any of your data. All I have to do is look at your mouse movements and click patterns. So, in other words, it's the end of the poker face. Your behavior is your signature – and we can know your political personality based on tweet text alone. We can actually know your political affiliation with about 80% accuracy. Computers can calculate probably that you're homosexual before you might know that you're homosexual. They can predict with 95% accuracy that you're gonna quit your job according to an IBM study. They can predict that you're pregnant. They can predict your micro expressions on your face better than a human being can. Micro expressions are your soft reactions to things that are not very visible, but are invisibly visible. Computers can predict that. As you keep going and you realize that you can start to deep fake things. You can actually generate a new synthetic piece of media, a new synthetic face, or synthetic message that is perfectly tuned to these characteristics. 

The reason why I open the statement by saying we have to recognize: That what this is all about is a growing asymmetry of power between technology and the limits of the human mind. My favorite socio-biologist, E.O. Wilson, said, “The fundamental problem of humanity is that we have Paleolithic ancient emotions, we have medieval institutions, and we have godlike technology.” So, we're chimpanzees with nukes, and our Paleolithic brains are limited. Again, the increasing exponential power of technology at predicting things about us, the reason why it's so important to migrate this relationship from being extractive to get things out of you, to being a fiduciary, is you can't have asymmetric power that is specifically designed to extract things from you – just like you can't have, again, lawyers or doctors whose entire business model is to take everything they learn and sell it to someone else. 

Except, in this case, the level of things that we can predict about you is far greater than actually each of those fields combined when you actually add up all the data that assembles a more and more accurate voodoo doll of each of us. And there's two billion voodoo dolls by the way; there's one for one out of every four people on Earth with YouTube and Facebook are more than two billion people. 

Senator Peters (D-Michigan): Thank you, Mister Chairman, and thank you to our witnesses. This is a fascinating discussion. I like to address an issue I think is of profound importance to our democratic republic – and that's the fact that, in order to have a vibrant democracy, you need to have an exchange of ideas and an open platform. And certainly, part of the promise of the Internet, as it was first conceived, is we'd have this incredible Universal Commons, where a variety of ideas would be discussed and debated, and it would be robust. And yet, it seems as if we're not getting that. We're actually getting more and more siloed. Doctor Wolfram, you mentioned how people could make choices, and they could live in a bubble, but at least it would be their bubble that they get to live in. But that's what we're seeing throughout our society as polarization increases, more and more folks are reverting to tribal type behavior. Mister Harris, you talked about our medieval institutions and Stone Age Minds. Tribalism was alive and well and in the past, and we're seeing advances in technology, in a lot of ways, bring us back into that kind of tribal behavior. So, my question is to what extent is this technology actually accelerating that, and is there a way out? 

Harris: Thank you. I love this question. There's a tendency to think here that this is just human nature – that people are polarized and this is just playing out; it's a mirror it's holding up, a mirror to society. But what it's really doing is it's an amplifier for the worst parts of us. 

So, in the race to the bottom of the brainstem to get attention, let's take an example like Twitter. It's calculating what is the thing that I can show you that will get the most engagement, and it turns out that outrage, moral outrage, gets the most engagement. So, it was found in a study that for every world word of moral outrage that you add to a tweet, it increases your retweet rate by 17%. So, in other words, you know the polarization of our society is actually part of the business model. 

Another example of this is that shorter, briefer things work better in Attention Economy than long, complex, nuanced ideas that take a long time to talk about, and so that's why you get a hundred and forty characters dominating our social discourse. But reality and the most important topics to us are increasingly complex, while we can say increasingly simple things about them that automatically creates polarization – because you can't say something simple about something complicated and have everybody agree with you; people will, by definition, misinterpret and hate you for it, and then it's never been easier to retweet that and generate a mob that will come after you. And this has created a callout culture and chilling effects, and a whole bunch of other subsequent effects in polarization that are amplified by the fact that these platforms are rewarded to give you the most sensational stuff. 

One last example of this is on YouTube. Let's say we actually equalize; I know there's people here concerned about equal representation on the Left and the Right in media. Let's say we get that perfectly right. As recently as just a month ago on YouTube, if you did a map of the top 15  most frequently mentioned verbs or keywords in the recommended videos, they were: “hates,” “debunks,” “obliterates,” “destroys” – in other words, you know, “Jordan Peterson destroys social justice warrior in video.” So, that kind of thing is the background radiation that we're dosing two billion people with, and you can hire content moderators in English and start to handle the problem, but the problem is that two billion people in hundreds of languages are using these products. How many engineers at YouTube speak the twenty-two languages of India where there's an election coming up? So, that's some context on that. 

Sen. Peters: Well, there's a lot of context. Fascinating. I'm running out of time, but I took particular note in your testimony when you talked about how technology will eat up elections, and you were referencing, I think, another writer on that issue. In the remaining brief time I have, what's your biggest concern about the 2020 elections and how technology may eat up this election coming up? 

Harris: Another example of how we used to have protections that technology took away – we used to have equal price campaign ads, so that it cost the same amount on Tuesday night at 7:00 p.m. for any candidate to run an election. When Facebook gobbles up that part of media, it just takes away those protections – so, there's now no equal pricing. What I'm mostly worried about is the fact that none of these problems have been solved. The business model hasn't changed. And the reason why you see a Christchurch event happen in the video just show up everywhere, or, you know, any of these examples – fundamentally, there's no easy way for these platforms to address this problem, because the problem is their business model. 

Harris: This is one of the issues that most concerns me. As I think Senator Schatz (D-Hawaii) mentioned at the beginning, there's evidence that in the last month – even as recently as that, keeping in mind that these issues have been reported on for years now – there was a pattern identified by YouTube that young girls who had taken videos of themselves dancing in front of cameras were linked in usage patterns to other videos like that, which went further and further into that realm, and that was just identified by YouTube, as a supercomputer, as a pattern. It's a pattern of “this is a kind of pathway that tends to be highly engaging.” 

The way that we tend to describe this is: If you imagine a spectrum on YouTube on my left side, there's the calm Walter Cronkite section of YouTube. On the right hand side, there's crazytown, UFOs, conspiracy theories, Bigfoot – you know, whatever. If you take a human being and you could drop them anywhere, you could drop them in the calm section, or you could drop them in Crazy Town. But If I'm YouTube and I want you to watch more, which direction from there am I going to send you? I'm never gonna send you to the calm section. I'm always gonna send you towards Crazy Town. So, now you imagine two billion people, like an ant colony of humanity, and it's tilting the playing field towards the crazy stuff. 

The specific examples of this: A year ago, a teen girl who looked at a dieting video on YouTube would be recommended anorexia videos, because that was the more extreme thing to show. The voodoo doll that looked like a teen girl – there's all these voodoo girls that look like that – and the next thing to show is anorexia. 

If you looked at a NASA moon landing, it would show Flat Earth conspiracy theories, which were recommended hundreds of millions of times before being taken down recently. I wrote down another example. Fifty percent of white nationalist in a study had said that it was YouTube that had “red pilled” them; “red pilling” is the term for the opening of the mind. The best predictor of whether you'll believe in a conspiracy theory is whether I can get you to believe in one conspiracy theory, because one conspiracy sort of opens up the mind and makes you doubt and question things and, say, get really paranoid. And the problem is that YouTube is doing this en mass, and it's created sort of two billion personalized Truman Shows. Each channel has that radicalizing direction, and if you think about it from an accountability perspective – back when we had Janet Jackson on one side of the TV screen at the Super Bowl, and we had 60 million Americans on the other, we had a five-second TV delay and a bunch of humans in the loop it for a reason. But what happens when you have two billion Truman shows, two billion possible Janet Jackson's and two billion people on the other end? It's a digital Frankenstein that's really hard to control, and so that's the way that we need to see it.

From there, we can talk about how to regulate it. 

Senator Sullivan (R-Alaska): Anyone else have a thought on a pretty important threshold question? 

Harris: Is it okay if I check in? Thank you, Senator. The issue here is that Section 230 of the Communications Decency section – 230 has obviously made it so that the platforms are not responsible for any content that is on them, which freed them up to do what we've created today. The problem is if, you know, is YouTube a publisher? Well, they're not generating the content, they're not paying journalists, they're not doing that, but they are recommending things, and I think that we need a new class between, you know… 

The New York Times is responsible if they say something that defames someone else that reaches a certain hundred million or so people. When YouTube recommends flat earth conspiracy theories hundreds of millions of times, and if you consider that 70% of YouTube's traffic is driven by recommendations, meaning driven by what they are recommending, what algorithm is choosing to put in front of the eyeballs of a person, it's if you were to backwards derive a motto, it would be, “With great power comes no responsibility.”

[unlockthelore]

Chivalry

For so long, Kairi had been the one who was protected, but now she had to protect the ones who tried their hardest for her.

Part of the Beyond the Horizon series on Ao3. For more updates, follow the beyond the horizon tag on this blog.

Returning to the island where they played as children was difficult on Riku. As much as he tried to hide his inner struggles, they were there, plain as day in Kairi’s eyes. She could tell how he tried not to approach the Secret Place or the furthermost treehouse with its open terrace where the palm trees shaded enough for a nice nap. Walks along a sandy shore with the surf’s chilled foamy waters rolling over their feet were harder when they looked back and found only two sets of footprints instead of three. She didn’t pretend not to notice when Riku squeezed her hand or lingered on the bent paopu tree long past sunset.

A space always left between them for the one who couldn’t be there with them.

For now, she reminded herself. Just for now.

--------------------------                                                                                                    

“Need another pin.”

Riku’s voice roused her from her thoughts just as the waves crashed against the pier’s wooden posts. A spray of water misting against the soles of her feet as they swung back and forth over the damp wooden boards. Kairi tipped her head to one side then glanced toward the calloused palm hovering in her periphery. The scrapes and bruises unable to be healed by healing magic blended into peach tanned skin, but afternoons spent tracing them with her nails reminded her of where they were. She shuffled slightly, a throbbing ache in her lower back from sitting in one position for so long. Her fingers dipped into the small cup of bobby pins left beside an assortment of colorful hair clips beneath the pom of her moogle backpack. Two plucked out and set in Riku’s palm. Sunlight catching on the glossy black surface until his fingers curled around them and a light kiss was pressed to the top of her head.

“Thank you.”

Kairi smiled to herself, one of her knees pulled to her chest as she leant back against him. His fingers working into her hair with the start of another braid somewhere at the right side of her head. “So you’re going on another world tour after this?” She asked, resting her hand against his thigh, the checkered pattern of his board shorts plucked between her fingertips.

It took a moment longer for him to reply. Always so serious with his work, a distracted hum was his only response for a moment. “Yeah…” He murmured, and she felt him tie off the braid after snapping on a rubber band. “Part of being a Keyblade Master is making sure no one has so much as a hurt toe, I guess.”

“Riku,” she scolded gently.

Although, she could understand his discontent with the task. Masters were charged with the world’s affairs, but in Kairi’s opinion, it seemed too big of a job for one person. Or two, in Aqua and Riku’s case. More than that, she knew what he wanted to do with the access he was given to traversing the worlds but someone had to be there to help. Perhaps they were following Sora’s example by trying to do more for others instead of putting themselves first.

She frowned and curled her fingers around Riku’s knee, squeezing gently. “It has been awhile though, and it would be nice to see everyone again.”

The likelihood of new information cropping up was minuscule but they could take comfort in knowing their friends hadn’t given up. Just as they hadn’t. Riku’s thigh tensed beneath her elbow and his hands stilled in her hair. She could tell he was considering her words or at least the implication set behind them. A light ruffle to the back of her head before he started to gather her hair up in a ponytail.

“Just so long as you don’t disappear into the castle for hours,” he said with a playful scolding tone. “I swear, Ienzo will talk to you forever about science if you let him.”

Kairi smiled, keeping her head stilled as he continued combing his fingers through her hair. “He’s just really passionate about what he does!” She clapped her hands together, fingertips pressing and palms barely touching. “Besides, it’s nice to hear it.”

To be included, if she were honest. So often were things done without her involvement or knowledge. Left out. Left behind. She was sick and tired of being the odd one out who wasn’t expected to do anything. If everyone she loved was going to fight then so was she. Even if it did mean going through lectures and notes Ienzo meticulously prepared, far too eager to share his knowledge with someone else.

After a few moments of idle humming and his hands working through her hair, Kairi bounced and pressed her empty hand to her thigh. “Are we done?” She tried to keep the impatience out of her voice but she desperately wanted to see his work. Growing out their hair again had been a mutual decision for the time being.

The unspoken condition not having to be said when they thought back to their journey before the last. Sora lamenting that he was the only one who hadn’t grown between the three of them. When in her eyes, he was one of the two that had changed the most.

Her bangs were swept to one side in answer, Riku’s lilting hum coming with the soft click of a hair clip. Rough palms gently cupped her cheeks and tipped her head back to where his lips were waiting to brush a kiss against her forehead. It was featherlight and fleeting, ending before she could really enjoy it, but a pleasant touch all the same. Her eyes crinkled at the corners as her lips pulled back in a smile, fingers curled over his own to squeeze.

“Are we done?”

“Mmm…” Sharp shadows cast by the fading afternoon sun darkened Riku’s blue-green eyes, half-lidded as his gaze flicked about her face lingering somewhere above her eyes. “Yep.”

Kairi grinned and brushed his hands away, twisting to kneel between his thighs, her arms thrown around his neck in a tight hug. “Thanks Riku.”

“Welcome,” he murmured. His breath ghosted across her bare shoulder, sending shivers down her spine that had little to do with the water dribbling along her toes. Gentle pressure from his hand flattened against her back in the barest show of affection.

Kairi sighed. Her mouth tucked against the curve of his jaw as she held him close and listened to the waves. One day, she wished, one day Riku would be able to accept the love they had to give him. As a friend and hopefully something else. She pulled back enough to hold him by the shoulders, ignoring a faint flutter in her chest when he looked up at her from beneath silver-white eyelashes.

“How about we go tomorrow?”

Surprise flickered across Riku’s features, and Kairi could understand why. Abrupt departures were something they tried to avoid when finding a new normal. But normal was far off for either of them. “Fine by me,” he said after a brief pause, a small smile quirked at the corners of his lips. “Little late today anyway. Your grandpa will kick my ass if you disappear without telling him.”

Kairi stifled a giggle behind a closed fist drawn to her mouth while her other hand thumped against Riku’s shoulder scoldingly. While she could recall the mayor’s stricken face when she returned to the main land, it was his weeping in private that’d made her reluctant to leave so soon.

“He’s been letting up just a little with letting me go more, but I still should tell him.”

The hand against her lower back hovered somewhere near her hip with the other joining it to keep her steady. Riku shifted backward to make room for her to clamor up onto the pier, the items spilled out of their shared backpack stored away.

“Lucky you,” she heard Riku say as he tried to free the moogle’s pom from the pack’s zipper. Her reflection in her gummiphone’s camera smiling and observing the three braids, clip and high ponytail he’d done with interest.

Once their pack was closed and hiked up on Riku’s shoulder, he held his hand out to her and Kairi took it with a light squeeze. She hooked her fingers in the opening of her sneakers and carried them at her side as they walked down the pier. Riku strolling down the steps one by one while Kairi hopped two by two. Their uneven pace dragged him forward a bit and only after he nudged her shoulder did she decide to slow down. Moisture along the soles of her feet made the sand cling between her toes, a soft krrch as she rubbed them together, enjoying the grit and slight sink of her heels in the sun warmed shores.

It only made sense for her to walk in the surf, she pointed out to Riku as she tugged him over. Glistening waters washed over her feet and barely touched the soles of his sandals although he made sure to gripe about it every time it came close. Their talks ranged from his mother’s experiments with the Keyblade out of sheer engineering delight, and their respective guardians’ reactions to learning there were other worlds outside of their own. While her grandfather seemed to accept it well enough, Riku’s mother was infinitely curious.

Like mother, like son.

“My mom’s been worried every time I talk about a new world. Chip and Dale gave her a gummiphone to ease her worry, and they’ve been talking non-stop about prototypes and who knows what else.”

Kairi giggled. “Little victories, Riku.”

He shot her a look of mock annoyance. “Always looking on the bright side, aren’t you? Let me sulk a bit, will ya?”

As they crossed beneath the bridge connecting the island to the smaller one a bit further from its shores, Kairi pretended to think it over. Shade provided by the wood was filtered with glimmers of light between the cracks and openings. It’d been awhile since Sora’s dad came to patch the bridge up. She could hardly imagine what it would be like a few years from now. Rolling her eyes up to the small streaks of sunlight, she hummed then shook her head.

“Nope!” She swung their hands back and forth, smiling despite his withering stare. “Not allowed.”

Riku sighed heavily, exaggeratedly rolling his eyes. “Whatever you say, princess.”

Princess.

Kairi swallowed. She hardly thought of the title much in the recent year or two. Not like when she’d been pulled from their island the first time. Her heart vied after because it was that of a princesses’. Seeing all of those empty faces, vacant eyes, Sora’s pain to strive and get her back but all he saw was a shell. She wasn’t truly inside. She was part of him. The princess who needed saving was right by his side all along but unable to do a thing.

“You’re never gonna let that go, are you?” She asked, trying to keep the mood jovial but the bitter thought soured her tone.

Riku’s half-jesting smile fell, a single brow raised as they slowed to a stop half-way beneath the bridge. “Why would I?”

“Because I’m not really a princess,” she said. Not at all. Even from the world she truly came from, there was nothing about her that was princess-like. Only a little girl who enjoyed flowers and her grandmother’s stories.

“What? You mean like the ones in fairy tales?”

Something in her snapped at the mention of fairy tales. Her grandmother’s face, weathered with age but sincere with greyed eyes and a chipper smile. “Yes,” she huffed. Riku snorted and shook his head. Kairi frowned. Just what was he not understanding? “I’m not a princess.”

She squeezed his hand and the last of the humor drained out of him as he stared down at her, his eyes seeming to glow in the weak light.

“Okay, and what is a princess to you?”

Her mouth fell open and for a moment, she wasn’t sure what to say. Her grandmother described princesses in one way or another with all of the stories of young women scattered across time in different worlds.

“Someone that’s meant to be royalty,” Kairi started, ticking off the traits on her fingers. “Calming, kind, gentle, loving, caring.”

With it laid out before her, she had to attest that she wasn’t any of those things. Hardly calming with the amount of trouble that stirred with her mere presence. Kind was an overstatement. She was nice when she wanted to be and otherwise, if someone really deserved it then she’d let them have it. Gentle, absolutely not. Loving, her gaze flicked to Riku and his thoughtful expression then the image of Sora in her mind.

Caring? If she cared, then neither of them would be like —

“Wanna know what a princess is like to me?” Riku interjected, cutting off the poisonous thoughts and dragging her back to reality. His eyes were glowing in the darkness and seemed to only render her silent as all she could do was muster a nod. “Someone like you.”

With how resolutely he spoke the words, she couldn’t think of anything to say in response. Transfixed on his face and the stern set of his jaw as he held her hand a bit tighter.

“So what if you weren’t meant to be royalty. Half the people who are don’t deserve it anyway,” he seemed to consider something then shrugged half-heartedly. “Sans the king and queen that is.”

Kairi tried not to laugh as Riku mumbled and fumbled with his words. It was sincere and she felt the biting souring thoughts begin to drift backward. Not out of mind but further from the centre of it.

“People have to want to follow you and listen to you. You think Donald and Goofy would’ve chased after Mickey for so long if they didn’t at least like him?”

She had to give him a point on that one. King Mickey, despite all of his faults, was fairly likable if not a little cute. Donald was a bit of a livewire while Goofy could be a bit lazy now and again. For both of them to run around the worlds with Sora in search of their lost king, he had to be something.

Still, that changed little in what she thought. Her fingers pressed against his own, their palms warm and a bit clammy. “Who would want to listen to me?”

Her voice rarely reached. When Sora needed encouragement, when he was at his lowest and felt abandoned by all those around him, she could barely summon a word to help him out. But she could hear him calling to her all the time from where she slept. Assuring her that he would come and rescue her, that he missed her, that they would all be together again. Riku did the same but his words were harsher. He assured he would protect her, that he wouldn’t let anything else harm her, that they’d go elsewhere — all three of them — just like they said.

They were all blinded and unable to hear.

And all she wanted was for them to listen to what she had to say.

Riku tugged her close by the hand, her toes catching in the sand as she fell into the solid warmth of his chest. His hand pressed to her back as he held her close.

“Me. Right now.… Hear me out?”

Kairi curled her fingers in the back of his tank top and pressed her forehead to his chest, nodding slowly. Riku felt sturdy and firm, solid with enough softness that she could be sure he wasn’t made out of stone. His fingers brushed against the swell of her ponytail and she hugged him tighter around his middle.

“You’re kind, you’re caring…” He snorted and flicked the ends of her hair, sending them sweeping against her shoulders with a light tickle that made a giggle bubble up in her throat. “And very stubborn.”

Kairi huffed, patting his back lightly. “So are you.”

“Hey, I wouldn’t mind being a princess,” Riku said in a snobbish tone. Kairi biting back laughter by burying her face against his chest. His own chuckles felt as vibrations beneath her cheek. “Let me finish.”

She nodded slowly and brought her other hand around his middle, her sneakers knocking together as she hooked her hands by her pinkies. Riku’s hand settled against the top of her head and smoothed down her hair. The distant crash of waves, trickling frorm the makeshift waterfall near the little cove they called their Secret Place. Even the gentle creaking of the wood as it groaned beneath a salty breeze rolled in from the ocean. It all reminded her so much of home.

“You’re kind but you don’t let people walk over you. You know your worth, what you put your time into you’re passionate about. And you do your best to help. That’s why people listen to you. You’re always trying, we can rely on you. Remember when we found Chocolina as kids? You calmed her down because you’re you. That’s your power, Kairi.”

She buried her face against his chest. It was difficult to stop herself from doing it. With all of what he said, she couldn’t help but try to find some alternative. When they needed her most — her voice couldn’t reach them, but she was trying now. That meant something, didn’t it? Sora’s infectious cheer, all of his positive-thinking, it might have been rubbing off on them for awhile now. As much as she wanted to be upset with herself, she wanted to take this chance even more.

Riku’s hand settled against her shoulder, strong and unyielding, but gentle as he pulled back from her. His blue-green eyes softened, fingers curling beneath her chin to tilt her head up. Concern stole his smile and his thumb swiped under her eye, smearing a tear against her skin. She sniffed and offered him a smile as her hand came up to cup the back of his own.

“So what if you’re not one of the ones in the story. I never was really into the damsel in distress type anyway.”

Kairi covered her mouth hurriedly, a snort that was definitely unprincess-like left them both sputtering in laughter. Riku leant down and his forehead pressed to hers as they laughed and smiled. If a few tears slipped past then neither of them mentioned it. Only wiping it away with the crooks of fingers and a reassuring glance. Her hand slipped into Riku’s again and he gave it a gentle squeeze.

“But if it bothers you, I’ll stop calling you that,” he promised, and she knew that he meant it.

The walk from beneath the bridge was slower and as they approached the other side of the sands, Kairi glanced up at him.

“Riku?”

He gave a soft hum, his head turned the other way, eyes focused on the ramshackle doorway which led to the other part of the island. She wondered what he was thinking. Would it have been the race he had with Sora? Or when they were finally putting the last touches on their raft.

“… Be my prince?”

His hold on her hand tightened considerably and absently, Kairi had to wonder if he was holding back his real strength all the time. His head whipped around and in the scarlet sunrays, she could see the faint touch of pink in his cheeks. “What?”

She tipped her head to one side, feigning innocence with a small smile. “Too much?”

“W- I mean…” Riku sputtered, and Kairi tried her best not to laugh. It wasn’t often that she saw him at a loss for words or this shy. He lifted a hand, rubbing the back of his head. “I’m not really the prince type, Kairi.”

“Of course you are,” she insisted, feeling just a bit of payback was in order along with honesty. “You’re kind and patient, and you always come to the rescue when you’re needed. Besides, I feel safe around you.”

With each trait listed off, Riku seemed to grow more and more shy. She wanted to pull him into another hug and assure him that it was true. All of the words she was speaking, the meaning behind them, they were absolutely true. Riku always thought the worst of himself and although she knew he was changing to begin with — this wasn’t what she wanted.

He didn’t deserve to suffer for his mistakes forever.

“If you’re really set on having a prince, save that spot for Sora.”

Kairi’s eyes widened as the name fell from Riku’s lips. He didn’t shy away from speaking about Sora in matters of finding him or the deeds he committed for the sake of the worlds. But on their own, in times when it was only them, he seemed to dance around speaking his name as if he was unworthy of saying it. His hand fell from the back of his neck, hanging loosely at his side as he gazed northward past the broken fence partly submerged where it hung off from the shores and dipped into the ocean.

Kairi followed his line of sight and for a second, she could imagine Sora hopping along the posts while they urged him to be careful. His sunny grin wet when he accidentally slipped and fell into the water, splashing about in surprise. Riku ran after him without hesitation and Kairi returned to the treehouses to grab a few of the sheets to help them dry off after. She squeezed his fingers again as the memory faded along with Sora’s laughter.

“Then what are you?” She asked, turning her gaze back to Riku. He surprised her, constantly. Always deflecting positive affirmations to someone else. She knew that he didn’t mean to. That he was trying to stay within the lines that he’d set and not stray from them. Time would help them both but she wasn’t sure what all was needed. How far did they have to go before they could be together without feeling guilty again.

Riku shrugged, sheepish but receptive as he glanced toward her. A pride in his eyes that reminded her of the boy who proclaimed they’d leave their home world with a simple call of ‘Let’s go’.

“The knight who keeps you both safe.”

Kairi shook her head, tugging lightly on their hands. “We keep each other safe, Riku,” she chided gently, tipping her head skyward. “And we’ll save our prince and then…”

“Happily ever after.”

Kairi looked to him in surprise, the vague amusement showing in his eyes as he laced their fingers together then turned his gaze skyward.

“Yeah,” she echoed back as she stared at him numbly, then turned her gaze upward once more. “Happily ever after…”

[l0uk45]

If students from class 1A and 1B were part of the Riordanverse:

Yuga Aoyama: Son of Aphrodite. Not even a good one, unless you need someone blinded by his glitter-gun. Oh yeah, he has a glitter gun with lasers for maximum flare. Is he completely over-the-top? Absolutely. But is he good in a fight? Surprisingly, yes.

Mina Ashido: Daughter of Hermes and legacy of Hecate, capable of inhuman movements and can produce a slime that magically dissolves anything. She also tattooed her eyes black and yellow for some weird masochistic reason.

Tsuyu Asui: She’s a frog-turned-human by Ochako. She still has her tongue, leaps, hops, camouflage, a reversible stomach and poison that can kill a group of whales. And he can still inflate her throat like a balloon, which makes for good scares.Very good scares…

Tenya Iida: Son of Mercury, he never skips leg day. Never. Seriously, have you seen those legs? He could crush a car with those puppies! Or crush monster heads! Which he does do quite often! He doesn’t skimp out on upper body exercises either, but LOOK AT THOSE LEGS OF THUNDER!

Ochako Uraraka: Daughter of Hecate, she specializes in a set of spells that manipulate an individual object’s or being’s gravitational pull. It’s gotten to the point where she makes anything she touches with five fingers on one hand, it will float, no matter what, which is why she wears gloves all the time.

Mashirao Ojiro: Son of Mars, he’s an expert martial artist and very, very good at multiple of them. He’s lost multiple sparring partners because of his profinity with a number of weapons, and his lethality without any weapons.

Denki Kaminari: Legacy of Zeus and Apollo, each by about 50 generations. About as bright as his godly ancestors (not very), but he still makes one Hel of a lightning bolt, and he’s also pretty good with a guitar and lyre. 

Eijiro Kirishima: Son of Vulcan, his blood and skin are pure liquid gold, bronze and diamond he can infinitely harden for a period of time. It also obtains unnaturally sharp edges, and given his tendency to go hard when excited, he has made his friends frequent the infirmary for cuts and broken ribs.

Koji Koda: Son of Actaedon, he can talk with wildlife. He’s also a Legacy of Heracles, hence his size. His hugs are nice, war and gentle.

Rikido Sato: Son of Mars, this guy has a serious sweet tooth. He’s also surprisingly gentle for a guy that can decimate an opponent with a single hit.

Mezo Shoji: Son of Ares, he’s surprisingly level-headed. And malicious. Seriously, this guy always has at least ten different weapons on him, on top of him knowing a variety of potentially lethal moves. His arms are known as the Anacondas for a reason.

Kyoka Jiro: Daughter of Apollo, she’s a top-tier musician, singer and is moderate with a bow and arrow. She can whistle in the ultrasonic range, clap like thunder, sing and play like either a sweet little bird or a whole-ass heavy metal choir without ruining her vocal cords, and she gives the opposite amount of fucks that Zeus does (ie. zero).

Hanta Sero: Son of Hermes, he inherited a pair of magical tape dispensers that can dispense any tape in any amount of any properties he chooses. He uses them to swing around like Spider-Man, which made him a regular visitor of the infirmary until Momo made him a special harness to keep his joints from dislocating. 

Fumikage Tokoyami: Son of Erebos, he suffers from split-personality disorder, but it’s fixed nicely by his inner demon incarnate made of pure darkness he calls Dark Shadow. They have a strangely healthy relationship for a boy and his literal inner demon.

Shoto Todoroki: A Legacy, descendant of Hel and Surtr, capable of making ice that freezes fire, and fire that burns ice. He gives so little shit he’s actually oblivious to social cues, which makes for more than a few funny moments on quests with him.

Toru Hagakure: Legacy of Iris, she can manipulate light around her to turn invisible or project bright flashes

Katsuki Bakugou: Son of Ares, with rage and instincts of war so strong and powerful he can convert his sheer rage into explosions in the palms of his hands. He generated more than one explosion with the explosive yield of a nuclear weapon in his life. How he hasn’t gone deaf yet is beyond most people, though he does still know a variety of sign languages.

Izuku Midoriya: A mortal, capable of seeing through the mist, was gifted the Spartan Spirit, a spirit formed by Kratos, Nike, Bia and Zelus, to protect humanity in its greatest times of need. He ends up breaking his bones an absolute shitton, and is a regular at the infirmary.

Minoru Mineta: Died on a quest. His quest-mates say ‘by accident’. Everyone knows it was very deliberate, but then again, everyone hated him and is fine with him dead. Some people wanted to be the ones to kill him though.

Momo Yaoyorozu: A Legacy, granddaughter of Hephaestus and Athena, capable of making virtually any machine. She’s also very fidgety, and once made an entire army of fully autonomous grass soldiers that went on to terrorize the other campers for a bit. In thirty minutes.

Class 1B:

Yosetsu Awase: Son of Hephaestus, he also likes to make stuff. Though mostly he combines already existing tools, gadgets and machines, and makes weird amalgamations. He once fused an automaton bull, an automaton dragon and a school bus, and it actually works.

Sen Kaibara: Son of Ares, he’s pretty chill compared to his kin (especially Katsuki and Setsuna), mainly due to him bottling up his anger. Which he can unleash as tornadoes around his limbs, which he can use to drill through walls. Thank gods he doesn’t lose it too often.

Togaru Kamakiri: Son of Ceres, he likes farming tools. Especially ones with blades. That’s lead to him using all kinds of sickles, scythes (both farming tools and war scythes) and even a few lawn mowers, shovels, axes...

Shihai Kuroiro: Son of Nyx, him and Tokoyami get along exceptionally well. Given his ability to shadow-travel and use shadows and darkness as materials to make some pretty nifty weapons only he can use.

Itsuka Kendo: Daughter of Athena, she excels in critical thinking and a variety of martial arts. And knocking out her piers with precise attacks when they start to get exceptionally annoying.

Yui Kodai: Daughter of Trivia. She excels in potions and spells that manipulate the size of objects, so much so that she has to resort to gloves because she now naturally makes things smaller with her left hand, or bigger with her right hand. She’s the calm one.

Kinoko Komori: Daughter of Demeter, she has a soft spot for fungi and mushrooms. Which she can make grow rapidly. Very rapidly. She’s fun at parties.

Ibara Shiozaki: Daughter of Demeter, she dyes her hair green with actual chlorophyll for some reason (“To feel one with the beautiful plants,” she says), but she can also grow and manipulate vines and other vine-like plants, along with trees, quite effectively, and she has some rose and poison oak (she’s immune to it) seeds in her hair. Don’t ask, her answers are just as ridiculous as the chlorophyll-dyed hair.

Jurota Shishida: Son of Mars, he’s been cursed by most likely Hera to be a humanoid boar/dog thing. He’s especially good at wrestling, and is very diplomatic in his approach. Until he gets pissed, then he charges like a boar and yes, he keeps those tusks of his sharp on a regular basis.

Niregeki Shoda: Legacy of Hermes, son of Hephaestus, he likes to make explosives and plant them everywhere. More than a few campers were scared. Except Katsuki, who tried to outdo the ground (Niregeki’s mine) in explosive yield and put skylight access in the roof of Bunker 9. Niregeki had to repair it.

Pony Tsunotori: Legacy of Poseidon, she can shapeshift. She likes to shapeshift into horses, bulls, deer and goats (including mooses and buffalo), and she has a nifty gadget from the Hephaestus and Vulcan campers in the shape of horns that transform with her, giving her detachable remote-control horns. 

Kosei Tsuburaba: Legacy of Jupiter, son of Ares, he’s competitive and can make walls and blades out of air. Especially annoying for monsters because they can’t get to him, period, and every time they try, they don’t get past his walls of air for a whole minute before someone either cuts/hacks/slices them to bits, freezes/burns them alive, blows them up with their fists/explosives/expanding stones they previously ingested or some other way of disposing a monster.

Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu: Son of Vulcan, capable of turning to pure steel over his entire body, also increasing his strength. Because of this, and his tendency to go hard whenever he’s excited, he’s made his friends frequent the infirmary for bruises and broken ribs.

Setsuna Tokage: Daughter of Ares, she’s actually been hurt pretty badly in one of her fights (she went on a Quest with Katsuki, and no, it wasn’t him who hurt her) and had to have automaton grafts to replace her limbs, a part of her lower jaw, her eyes and the muscles around her spine, along with parts of the vertebrae. Which she asked to be detachable and splittable in as many pieces as possible, which she can control telepathically and uses to troll other campers. A lot. Especially two certain sons of Vulcan.

Manga Fukidashi: No one knows what he is, they just know his head is a speech bubble and he can make anything he writes real.

Juzo Honenuki: Legacy of Gaia, he can virtually liquify the ground (does not work on metal or wooden floors). He trolls a lot with this ability. And I do mean a lot.

Kojiro Bondo: A golem? A person? His head makes it hard to tell whether he’s a demigod or a monster to be honest. And his glue-like spit doesn’t help much either.

Neito Monoma: Legacy of, you guessed it, Zeus! He has a superiority complex because of this, and he frequents the infirmary on the basis of Itsuka or whoever he was annoying KOing him constantly. All that brain damage probably isn’t helping his mental issues...

Reiko Yanagi: Daughter of Hecate she can make things she touches float and fly around using some sort of incantation. The biggest she can do is double her own body weight, but that doesn’t stop her from delivering high-speed flying punches and scaring other campers.

Hiryu Rin: Son of Mars and Legacy of Poseidon, he can shapeshift into various animals. Most notably a mix of human, hedgehog and a lizard. Sharp, painful and deadly precise. And also meditating. And a lot of it.

[julian-wood]

NAME Julian Wood HOUSE Gryffindor AGE / DATE OF BIRTH 25, July 10th OCCUPATION App-stronomer for Wix Wonders Tech WAND TBD BLOOD STATUS Pureblood SEXUALITY demisexual FACECLAIM Brenton Thwaites 

BIOGRAPHY

If Oliver Wood could have seven children, he would—instead he had to live with only three. Julian Wood spent more time on a broomstick than his own two legs and became the default captain of Little League Quidditch. His younger brothers looked up to him and the whole family, save for his stepmother Daphne Greengrass, dreamt of being legends. With the three of them, they could be an unstoppable chaser team. Four years later the Wood brothers were all playing for Gryffindor, their chemistry on the pitch unmatched.

That is until Julian decided to take Muggle Studies.

It was an easy class, he had been told, just enough to get the marks he needed to play for Gryffindor. Why it was an easy class was another story: there were a handful of muggleborns there for the same reason, but not quite the same apathy as those who had grown up in the wizarding world. Julian was eventually pulled into the inside jokes that Muggle Studies was a joke… not because all of it was useless to anyone with a wand, but because muggles have far surpassed what the class was making them out to believe.

His muggleborn friends told him the cold hard facts that were somehow left out of the wizarding curriculum. Muggles not only had bigger telescopes, but they had so many ways to study the stars. So much more existed beyond what they learned in class. Galaxies. Black holes. Dark matter. Hell, muggles knew what Pluto looked like. All Julian could glean were the mysterious buzzwords they tossed around—but one thing that fascinated him the most was that muggles have been exploring space in the last seventy years. There were races about who orbited space first or who got to the moon first, which no book in their library seemed to cover.

Daphne had always been supportive of the Wood brothers’ dreams on the pitch, but she had always advised—or perhaps even hinted at—the possibility that there was an alternative. For the first time, Julian took his studies seriously for a reason that wasn’t meeting the minimum to play in the next match, unsure of why he cared so much now to make sure that he didn’t close the door something different than what he had been destined to be.

Especially since his new obsession seemed to collide in very messy ways with his current one, and he couldn’t find a way to reconcile them. Sure, wixen could design brooms to go higher and faster, but Julian had tried and there was always a limit. He wasn’t sure what subject would be able to push the boundaries, but he passed his Astronomy OWL with an Outstanding. That same year, the Madley Principles of Magic and Technology published their discoveries.

Julian had no doubt that he still loved flying. He still loved Quidditch and he still loved his family. But he turned down the captaincy to catch up on Arithmancy, forcing doors open that weren’t there before. Upon graduation, he spurned the Quidditch recruiters that came to visit, instead set on a ludicrous idea inspired by some light reading from Muggle Studies.

Daisy Hookum’s My Life As A Muggle pushed the envelope for its time, and even Julian had doubts about abandoning everything he knew for something he doesn’t even know would come to fruition. Even his muggleborn friends felt that he was being a little extreme for someone who had grown up in a sheltered magical world, considering that most of them didn’t go back to a world they no longer really belonged in.

But Laura Madley, in her infinite wisdom, thought it was a wonderful experiment; it would be a true test of their work if a wix could use their technology outside of the magical bounds. Julian was provided with the first model of the wizarding smart phone (though at the time the only thing he could do was call Madley Industries for assistance on arithmancy shortcuts he could use on a muggle computer) along with a small stipend and falsified transcripts to attend university.

In the muggle world, astronomy was part of the physics department. Julian soon realized that he was incredibly behind in his coursework even if Transfiguration and Charms prepared him a little for classical mechanics; at the end of the day, he was a wizard and he literally didn’t know how to do math. (Let’s be real, they’re not teaching calculus at Hogwarts.) He swallowed his pride and it turns out, the true meaning of physics was the friends you made along the way, while all of you suffer through all-nighters over pizza then getting trashed at the bar after finals. Still, it was difficult—and a little miserable, really—to keep about 98% of his life secret from the people he had bonded with, so there was a relief when he finished his degree and returned to the wizarding world on a more permanent basis.

Not without consequence, obviously. Julian’s brothers had all given him the cold shoulder, despite the fact that Julian was around for every holiday. He was a disappointment to his father, but at least Daphne braved going to the muggle world to celebrate his second graduation with him. His pureblood friends weren’t eager to have coffee believing that Julian was long lost to the muggle world. He had lost touch with many of his muggleborn friends from Hogwarts, and some were skeptical of (or perhaps even offendedby) his immersion because Julian got to live a life that had perhaps been taken away from them by the virtue of the fact that they were magical and stayed that way.  

He had been fortunate that upon his return, the magical world caught the tech craze—and while the world wide wix web flourished within the fingertips of every witch, wizard, and wix, Julian was well aware that his access to information was still limited without the connection to the muggle web.

This also meant that it was up to him to make sure that the magical world had its eyes opened to the possibilities. Inspired by his university professors, he started a video channel that explained the muggle research and discovery within the framework of the astrology that everyone was required to take as a class at Hogwarts. His videos are rather popular with students, though there are more conservative wixen who have sent howlers about his content—to which Julian had to learn to reply back that there were other channels of entertainment for them to follow, if they were so bothered by what he was doing. Even if he did think it was hypocritical of them to use a piece of tech that has non-magical roots, only to criticize something that explained how it all worked.

Chaser or not, Julian was still a Wood through and through. The Wood family motto was all we do is win, and even without his father or his brothers, he would find a way. If not a first-place trophy, then he would be the first in something else. He helped pioneer the muggle immersion program through Madley Industries and became the first pureblood to graduate from muggle university. The first physics graduate to work for a wizarding company, Wix Wonders Tech, where he worked on a wizarding version of the muggle apps that already existed to track the stars and planets.

Yes, it was very lonely at the top. The despondency he felt as the only wix surrounded by muggles was difficult to shake, now that he had all of this knowledge and experience that very few understood. But still, it was experience that formed the truest trophy to be earned on the figurative mantlepiece in Julian’s head: he was going to be the first wix in space.

CHARACTER QUESTIONNAIRE

How does your character feel about their family?

Once upon a time, Julian’s brothers were his best friends. He wanted so much to share his passions with them, and maybe he did when he had first learned about dark matter in school. He eventually realized that he didn’t want to bore them with what would be (at the time) psychobabble, so he kept it to himself. There came a point in time that the only thing they could talk about was Quidditch, and Julian didn’t mind that their relationship was on a mutual interest—up until Julian left school. Julian is aware that his brothers think that he betrayed them, and he hasn’t made an attempt to reconcile. He doesn’t think it’s worth the effort to be rebuffed.

As much as he knew he was disappointing his brothers, he knew how much of a blow this would be to Oliver’s dream, coupled with the fact that there was no such thing as privacy in the life of a professional athlete. If Adrian Pucey was scorned for having a squib daughter, then Julian wasn’t sure how much his father had been shamed when he chose to run off and be a muggle for the better part of four years. Still, Julian had heard worse stories: he hadn’t been burned off any family trees yet, but he still wishes that his father understood that their passions were, in essence, one and the same.

From what Julian was aware of, Daphne had no idea what the difference between a quaffle and a bludger was when she first met Oliver. How the two of them managed to get married eventually was a mystery to Julian, but he appreciated her as the voice of reason in his late teens. That didn’t mean she wasn’t a skeptic when Julian revealed his plan after having talked to Laura Madley, nor was he unaware that she was making a sacrifice when she ventured deeper into the muggle world than she had ever gone before—just to make sure he wasn’t by himself when he put on a mortarboard and walked down the aisle. He hasn’t told her yet that he plans to go to space; even that’s a little much for her to handle.  

What does your character value in a friendship? 

Julian has met quite a cast of characters when he went to university, and he wants to see dependability in his friends. He knows what it’s like to be the one dallying on a group project or the one struggling with a homework assignment—while at the same time, he’s impatient when he’s the one on top of things. Even if he was the one that left the magical world, he feels like he’s been abandoned and he needs people to rely on. Even though he knows there’s a lot that he’s got to take on alone, he needs his friends to walk up that hill alongside him.

How would your character describe their own work ethic? Is that an accurate measure of themself?

After four years of school, Julian’s got binders full of assignments and pages of calculations to show for the fact that he would say he worked pretty hard to get to the top. However, he thinks he’s finished with the hard part, meaning that the mental work of knowing and understanding muggle science and reconciling it with the magical education he had, not realizing that the magical world isn’t going to team up with the muggle space agencies overnight. Even while working on his app, Julian tends to take shortcuts that he considers “efficient”, though sometimes it’s more work to go back and explain what he was trying to do and fix whatever he missed.

How would a stranger who has just met your character describe them?

It depends on the stranger—but overall, it’s going to be a little strange to interact with him regardless. To a muggle, Julian is a wonderful handsome young man, who, for some reason, doesn’t have a phone number, so that’s a little weird. He also tends to pause a lot and really think about what he’s got to say, especially since his early muggle days had a lot of bullshitting involved and he’s not a great liar. His experience at university has given him more stories to draw upon, but he’s still afraid of mix up the two worlds he’s straddling.

To a wix, Julian is a wonderful handsome young man, who, for some reason, looks like he’s judging you. While he appreciates magic for what it’s capable of, there’s a hint of frustration bubbling underneath, knowing that the bulk of magical folk are still either on the fence about integration or staunchly against it. He thinks he knows more than everyone around him when he’s in the wizarding world, and it seems like that ego was probably inherited from Oliver himself—it’s very much a Wood family trait to believe that the world revolves around you.

What magical skill or talent is your character most proud of?

Magical skill? Quite honestly, he missed flying the most. He was rather lithe for a chaser and his broom skills were fantastic when he still played. He’s actually still good with a broom, though he can’t quite do stunts as much as he did when he was at school. A part of him wants to try out for one of the local Quidditch teams but he’s afraid he’ll get laughed off the pitch. Aside from his other research accomplishments, Julian still holds Gryffindor’s victories dearly—a momento of the time when his own selfishness didn’t get in the way of her interpersonal relationships in the magical world.

PARA SAMPLE

“Oh—you got me a poster.” Julian couldn’t help but be a little disappointed at the rolled up paper that Ramona had brought him, tied at the ends with her muggle hairties. He started unravelling it as Ramona leaned back into her seat. The train lurched forward and the station slid out of view. Julian didn’t even look out the window for his parents, but neither were his brothers. They were all really doing the same thing, moving through the compartments and finding their friends.

“Late birthday present—or congrats on not getting trolled on your OWLs?” Ramona explained. The pun had been lost on Julian, and he didn’t notice her roll her eyes. Still, he was hoping for something a little more than a poster. Then again, he shouldn’t be expecting any gifts at all; his birthday had been weeks ago, and OWL results were sent weeks before that. She did, however, call him out on his bullshit. “Don’t be such a brat about it, Julian!”

There was a reddish sphere with a pale heart across its front. Julian squinted and extended his arms, not really sure what he was looking at. “You said it was a birthday gift, not a Valentine’s day—”

He was quickly interrupted by a smack in the head with the notepad he didn’t see her take from her bag. “It’s Pluto.”

“The planet?”

“No, the dog.” The joke had been lost on Julian again, and Ramona gave a dramatic sigh. “I swear they’re not teaching us anything in this class. That photo was taken by a NASA spacecraft in 2015—”

There were so many words that Ramona had said in her last sentence that Julian waved to interrupt. What the hell was a nah-suh? Or a space-cracked? And what is it with muggles without their moving pictures? Julian managed to pick something to ask her first.  “Wait, 2015? This was like, three years ago! Muggles already know what Pluto looks like?”

His disappointment shifted to wonder, his hands were still outstretched and looking at the heart on the surface of the planet. He bit his lip, a somber longing rising in his chest. He had more questions, some that he wasn’t sure Ramona could answer, and many that couldn’t be formulated yet because he didn’t have the words.

“Yeah, and they have high-res photos of every other planet, asteroid, and moon you could think of.”

“What does high-rest mean?”

“Oh my god—it means that they have like, super detailed pictures of stuff.”

Julian nodded, then carefully rolled up the poster again. It could go above his bed; he was sure he could make room with all of the other Quidditch posters he had already hanging. Viktor Krum could shift a little to the left, he was sure. But he knew one thing for certain as he wound the hairties around the ends again. “Muggles apparently have way cooler shit than we do, don’t they?”

A small knock at the door interrupted them. “Anything from the trolley, dears?”

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION

Character Teaser

It was not a fascination with muggles that spurred Julian on to kill his father’s dream of the perfect chaser trio, but the simple fact that muggles have progressed far beyond the magical world’s wildest dreams. After graduation, he applied to muggle university as a physics major, taking advantage of the Madley Industries prototypes to fit in—only to come back to a magical world steeped into muggle technology. Nowadays he uses his knowledge of muggle physics and magical astronomy to make videos on the world wide wix web (with mixed reviews from the students that watch them and the parents hovering over their shoulders) and program astronomy apps for Wix Wonders Tech (with eager arithmancers on his side). With all of the progress in the last decade, Julian is sure that it’s within his lifetime to reach his goal: to be the first wix to go to space.

Feelings on Magical Integration

There’s so much that the muggle world has discovered, especially considering that their tools for study of astronomy have far outpaced what wixen are dealing with. In spite of the magical world separating themselves from the muggle, the muggle world was still just as fascinated with the skies above. Julian was incredibly limited in what he could use to continue his study upon his return to the magical world, and he knows what muggles are capable of. If they can get to the moon on their own, maybe a little bit of magic can help them get to Mars.

Connections

Dominique Weasley: Although they both have very different reasons for being in support of magical integration, Julian appreciates that there’s someone there who feels just as strongly as he does about it. Little do they acknowledge that both of their reasons are a little selfish.

Thom Nguyen: While she wasn’t the one who introduced Julian to astronomy and space travel, Julian still enjoyed asking her questions about the muggle world. Nowadays he enjoys her updates on Quidditch.

Molly Weasley: If her muggle mother could make waves in the wizarding community, then Julian could survive being a wizard in the muggle world. She was the one who first posited the idea of muggle immersion based on Daisy Hookum’s book, and introduced him to her aunt and mother.

Fred Weasley: Even though Julian had intended to do a full immersion into muggle university, he was always surprised crossed paths with a few people from Hogwarts—and it was a bit of a relief to be able to talk about his primary school experiences instead of making things up about being on the football team.

Adrian Pucey: Julian comes into Muggle Magics often enough that he’s asked Adrian to let him know the next time the shop has model rockets.

Yariel Florez: To Yariel, Julian’s a nice guy, but it’s hard to overlook the fact that Julian’s obsessed with a world that neither of them belong in. Yariel left it behind, but he doesn’t understand why Julian can’t leave it alone.

Vale Longbottom: Julian often goes to Vale for help while developing his apps, especially considering Vale’s experience with muggle and magical accessibility tools; however, Julian’s eagerness for more tends to drown out Vale’s suggestions for usefulness.

Nikhail Ollivander: Julian works across the street from the wand shop and has helped him connect to other wandmakers around the world. He’s tried to talk Nikhail into selling phone and tablet cases in addition to wand holsters.

Lily Potter: Lily is one of the few wix that tests Julian’s apps, even if Julian himself isn’t comfortable with astrology. He knows that this is one of the markets he’s going to appeal to anyway.

Dierdra Jones: Julian hadn’t been present for her meteoric rise—as much as he’d like to call himself a fan, he feels like he’s just jumping on the bandwagon.

Raphael Selwyn: When they met at Hogwarts, both of them had big shoes to fill. But if there’s one thing Julian doesn’t understand, it’s that he has something to prove and Raphael has everything to lose.

[wildbirdmagick]

Some of the Rune Soup premium members started a side project of angel bothering in June. This is my “What did I do this summer” essay. It was an experiment for me the entire way and nothing below is said with any form of authority. This is just my experience.

How we worked with the angels

The whole thing felt magically entangled from the start. Looking back, I’m not sure there is a piece of my life this working didn’t touch. I really wish I had written a long-form journal throughout. Now that we are at the end it’s hard to see how and when each piece snapped into place. Trying to summarize it here has been like taming a dragon.

Everyone knew they wanted to do some magic with angels, but not sure what. The UK had a scrying group working with Rudd’s Keys to the Gateways of Magic and we decided to run with that. Going into the project most of us had never tried scrying or even followed along with a grimoire. We started a discord server to keep everything in one place and it served as the backbone of the working. It was a constant source of resources, discussion, and inspiration.

Rudd’s Keys to the Gateway of Magic is a series of 10 invocations to the planetary angels. Each angel coming from their respective layer of heaven. The order we did them in was: Metatron/Moveable Heaven, Raziel/Starry Firmament, Cassiel/Saturn, Sachiel/Jupiter, Samael/Mars, Michael/Sol, Anael/Venus, Raphael/Mercury, Gabriel/Luna.

Each invocation is about a 25-minute long prayer… though I think long-form angelic contract law is a better description. It’s dry and monotonous. But that is a feature of its design, not a flaw. Reading the prayers you quickly slip into a trancelike state. After the prayers, you spend 10 minutes scrying with your stone. To make it work for a group we had different members read the invocations, then we all separately scryed. After that, we would spend 30 to 40 minutes comparing notes. The group discussion after each scrying session is what made this working zing. I can see why scrying is sometimes done in pairs.

I think one of the first discussions on discord was “What even am an angel?” (This is a bit of a Rune Soup inside joke… it’s what you say before you dive into the philosophical goo of something and try to pull out its quintessential meat.) From that question, our project took on an exploratory direction. Most of us were calling on angels to better understand them, their story, and their place in the cosmos.

For me, the main questions were, which I hope to answer for you at the end.

- What even are angels?

- What do they want?

- How can we work with them?

Early on I would use the two week period between sessions to interact with each angel. The most used method was right before sleep or after meditation I would ask the angel to show themselves. Or I would ask them to show me something. I did not use formal prayers or rituals. Just a simple “Yo, you up?” The results from these sessions were small blips of information that would only make sense later.

It feels weird to say they just sorta showed up, but they did. Some with better results than others. It didn’t feel like I needed an elaborate ritual or prayer. Instead, they felt quite willing.

I think the best way to illustrate the answers I arrived at is to walk you through the three most important contact events I had. Or skip to the end when I try to sum up what I think about angels.

Michael

Michael was pure fire. I had never worked with them before. I did this invocation solo and by coincidence, it landed on Michaelmas (September 29th) By the time we worked our way to Michael I was better at asking questions and getting answers. My first few scrying sessions were mostly a jumble of pictures and me desperately trying to piece something together.

With Michael, I asked what are we doing with all this? Like yes, this is fun to call you all up... But why did I just jumble through 25 minutes of prayers that I only sorta believe in? What’s next and why?

Michael told me “The magic is in the creation of the prayers, the sigils, the drawings. Repeating and replicating someone else’s words is fine, but it is a shadow of what comes from the creation process. Each one of us should always seek to divine our own system. The power of grimoires is not that these prayers or these sigils are correct or powerful. It’s that this person took the time to write and make them. Following someone else’s grimoire/system is just training wheels.”

The scrying session was really moving and I wanted to honor them with something. I started drawing an altar card for Michael. I am an occasional artist—emphasis on the word occasional—but as I drew Michael, something flowed out of me. It felt right. I share this not to say my drawings are some masterpiece. It is to illustrate the creative process of making something for the angel was magic. As I drew I understood the angel differently.

Again, I was presented with the evidence that just mentally sitting with the angel brought presence. Not quite like scrying, but small nudges and flows. It was like sitting with someone while you paint their portrait. You aren’t speaking but you are taking them in. Trying to distill their essence onto the canvas.

The process was so delightful that I decided to do the whole set of angels. With each picture, I poured over the notes in my journal and paid attention to syncs, signs, and dreams. Often little bits would click into place and make my vision of the angel more concrete.

If I had to put words to the feeling... it’s like they want you to connect or talk to them on a different level… one of creation and inspiration. Something about angels (or some angels) makes them more accessible. It’s less that my drawings are a correct representation of them, but a representation of my connection to them. I’m showing them how I see them. Letting them look through my eyes so I can look through theirs.

Raphael

Raphael is the only angel that showed up for me in a traditional way. They were a brilliant ball of wings and light that shimmered and turned slowly. My drawing of Raphael is exactly what I saw. When I asked what was their form, they told me they are the speed of white light.

I asked what they could teach me and light burst from my palms, then my eyes and mouth… then every cell in my being. They told me that healing comes from a physical action connected to a mental intention.

The important thing I want to stress is the light that shot from my palms was a feeeeeeling. I’m emphasizing this to hopefully better describe it. Do you know when you wake up from a dream and you can still taste or feel the thing in your dream? Maybe it was a sex dream with a random coworker and you spend all day at work feeling awkward around them because you can still feeeeeeeel it?

This is how the light shooting from my palms was. It was a feeling. The next morning in meditation I could feel that light. I can still grasp at it now a month later, but it’s harder, farther away. That feeling was Raphael’s virtue. The thing they had to teach. But let’s put a pin in that thought. We will come back to it, I promise.

Gabriel

My Gabriel session confirmed what I got from Michael. At this point, I was much better at communicating and asking questions. Gabriel said they are the angel that has the most contact with humans. They are the signs and syncretistic events.

When I asked Gabriel how to work with them they told me to “Create their likeness and know them.” And to “Lay their virtues on your shoulders like a mantle.”

A tarot spread the next day solidified what I was getting. The center card was the six of wands from the Dracxidios Tarot. It shows a human body with energy flowing from their centers and connected to an anatomically correct heart. In my journal I wrote next to it, “Humans in flow are angelic” I mention this note because I’m not sure why I made that connection. It wasn’t something that stuck with me until I went back into my notes.

The surrounding cards in my tarot spread were The High Priestess and the eight of coins. Which speaks of bringing things from intuition into tangible form. In the end, I think this is what angels want more than anything. They want you to take what is inside and make it physical.

Now to perform my greatest trick… to wrap this whole thing up in a package and try to deliver it in some coherent package. 😉

What even am angels? (Or at least what are these angels?)

This is just my answer from this moment in time. (Which happens to be November 9th at 9:27 am, in case you’re wondering.) You should ask yourself a question like this. But don’t just think it in your head… write it down. Go on. I’ll wait. Things become very slippery when you try to make them concrete.

To me, angels are fractal emanations from gateways of being. They are like a concept of being that gained consciousness. They are persuasions fluttering on the edge of perception.

An angel is never one thing, but a revolving mass that changes. Which face of the emanation you connect to is up to you. I think on some level it matters who you are and why you are calling on them. It’s like the stupid two wolves thing, except with fractal beings there are infinite connection lines. Which means, I can’t tell you what your angels are because your angels are different than mine.

What I can say is that they have always been here.. with humans that is. They get wrapped up in the dominant metaphysics model of the time quite easily, but to say they came with Christianity is silly. They do not feel Christian, and I doubt they give two fucking shits if you are either. They are just happy to work with whatever model you are working with… because the true control here is the picture you paint of them and what you do with it.

And lastly, I believe that angels are not above, but below. They are not found in the layered heavens above, but deep within the pools of self. They are beings of the subconscious. This is why they are so easy to contact and why they lend themselves to dream, journey, and intuition work.

What do they want? And how can we work with them?

Call them up and “know them.” Angels bear gifts, but they can’t teach you something if you never interact with them. I can summarize what I got from them and hope it helps you, but really these things are tailor-made for each person.

Lay their virtues on your shoulders like a mantle. Once you see the essence of what they are, how can you think with that? Raphael was the key to understanding that each one had a gift to teach. And that I could hold that gift in my mind's eye and change my perception. This point is much harder to articulate because it is a feeling. All I can do is tell you to pay attention for it. Maybe even ask for it.

Create their likeness. This might be knowledge for me personally, but I think it’s worth sharing. While I enjoyed using Rudd’s angel calling method because it worked so well, it isn’t my style. Throughout the project, I had been wondering how to do more scrying without long prayers. Michael answered, and Gabriel confirmed… find your own dial-up method. For me, that has been my drawings. Each person will have their own way in. Once you make contact strengthen that connection with contemplation and representation. This is the key to their gateway.

This last piece is just a suggestion. Like I mentioned in the beginning, I wish I had kept a longer journal. Angels are of the subconscious and they communicate that way. They are entangled beings that will show up in every aspect of your life. It’s much easier to put themes together if you keep a journal of notes, thoughts, and feelings. I kept only the most basic notes, and this made it much harder to pull things together for me.

[hahanoiwont]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Undertale (Video Game) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Papyrus & Sans, Frisk & Sans, Alphys/Undyne, Papyrus & Undyne, Frisk & Everyone, W. D. Gaster & Papyrus & Sans Characters: Sans, Frisk, Papyrus, Alphys, Undyne, W. D. Gaster, Gaster Follower(s) Additional Tags: playing with the FUN mechanic, The Void, Magic, Determination, spacetime shenanigans Summary:

Shortcuts are an exact science.

Shortcuts are an exact science. They move through the Void—an infinitely-collapsing nothing dimension that takes up no space and time, but at the same time is uniform all across whenever it is accessed. The Void is a constant, while Sans and anyone following him and the starting point and the destination and a couple other environmental considerations are the variables. Most of the magic cost of a shortcut comes of enforcing regular six-dimensional reality onto the Void long enough to use it as a path to a regular six-dimensional destination.

If it’s just Sans taking a shortcut, he can cut out most of the cost—a relative second or two in the void won’t remove him from reality like it would most folks.

Sometimes he remembers why that is, sometimes he doesn’t. But he always remembers that the Void will hesitate to destroy him. The Void is as safe for Sans as…well, a relatively safe space in a dimension of infinite entropic constants. If he’s gonna have trouble with a shortcut, it’s gonna be in the world of variables, in himself or where he pops out or what he did wrong in his calculations.

Sans is very fast and very accurate in his calculations. He hasn’t shortcut himself into a staircase or table since…he can’t remember when. There was one time in particular, he thinks…

He’s pretty sure it’d scared…someone…Papyrus(?) so bad that he’d gotten a strongly-worded lecture about respecting the seriousness of his studies and not using highly advanced, theoretical magic to save ten seconds of walking. And the dangers of the Void, which always makes him snort when he thinks about it.

Come to think of it, he’s pretty sure he remembers Pap also being there for that conversation, saying he’s sure Sans knew what he was doing, and Sans wouldn’t endanger himself carelessly, so it must have just been a mistake, right, Sans?

That had actually made him feel worse than the lecture.

And then Papyrus had taken him quietly aside later, and asking him Could You Have Fallen Down If You Did A Mistake? in the way that meant Tell Me You Care More About Your Life Than This, I Know You Are Better Than This, I Am Already Impressed By Your Accomplishments And Wish You Wouldn’t Show Off If It Could Hurt You. If Sans recalls correctly, he’d said something like…

“nah, paps, i was just—i was just being dumb, wasn’t thinking, forgot we moved that table, didn’t even hurt, right? just felt weird for a bit, it’s, uh, um.” He’d let out a breath and hung his head, unable to look at his brother’s increasing distress. “sorry. i shouldn’t have been showing off. i was just…yeah. that was stupid of me.”

He’d just been having fun with having a part of his studies he could show off to Papyrus and ****** without having to practically write a thesis to explain what it was and why it was kinda cool. Theory is great—Sans loves theory—but it was fun to have a practical application, and a useful one at that. He’d just gotten kinda carried away.

He’d thought he was being all responsible, owning up to what he did wrong (at least to Papyrus; he’d taken his brother’s out in front of ******) and apologizing for it, but Paps had seen right through him.

“That Was Actually Pretty Cool, Though,” Papyrus had said. Sans had perked up entirely, forgoing scuffing his shoes on the floor in favor of basking in his brother’s admiration.

“right? isn’t it? i can teleport!” he’d said. “i mean. maybe i should have…tested it out a bit more. it kind of was an ‘irrational and dangerous misuse of untested theoretical physics,’ and all. lab safety is cool. that was…kinda not that.”

Not to mention how the shortcut that had taken him halfway through a table in the lab hadn’t been his first shortcut—he’d shortcut straight to Papyrus once he had a decent idea of how to balance out his equations for it, and spent most of the afternoon tweaking his technique and teleporting circles around his brother. That had been the opposite of lab safety. Especially when he left the lab to do it.

Somehow, Sans had figured he was just smart enough that nothing would go wrong. “You’re never too good to make mistakes” is a lesson he’d learned later.

“I Was Not Really Encouraging Good Science Habits, Either,” Papyrus had admitted at the time. “It’s Very Cool That You Have Discovered This Neat Way To Use Your Magic! But! In The Future! Maybe We Can Make A Corner Of The Room That We Don’t Put Things In? And Then? You Use Your Cool New Magic To Go There? And Not In A? Table???”

Sans hadn’t said it then, because he’d had some sort of hang-up where he didn’t say it out loud, but that had been one of the many times that Papyrus had been so cool. Even when Sans had been, in hindsight, kind of insufferably proud of his scientific leanings, Papyrus always let him know that he thought what Sans was doing was cool and impressive, and that he was proud of his brother’s accomplishments.

Sans can remember that incident most of the time, even though it doesn’t really make sense with the memories he also has where he never told Paps about his interest in science, and told him he was going to dentistry school instead. The dentistry story is the one he always remembers, though, so that must have…ugh. It always gives him a headache to remember this stuff.

Not worth the effort. He’s never gonna get that past back anyway, so why bother sorting out what really happened? Better to take what he has now: the coolest brother in the world, some pretty good friends, some pretty bad jokes, the sky. The Surface.

He’d never been as impressed by the idea of the Surface as other monsters seemed to be—seemed like it couldn’t be that great when Sans already had everything he needed underground with him. Not worth risking that for some world they’d been cut off from for thousands of years, right?

Stars, he’s never been happier to be wrong.

What he has now is everything he’d ever had underground, plus an ever-widening world of friends and family; sights to see, foods to try, things to avoid doing. He sure is glad he did absolutely nothing while Frisk did all the work of getting the Barrier down.

At least, he assumes he did nothing. Frisk won’t say what happened, and no one else remembers.

There are a lot of things Frisk won’t say. And it’s not just because they don’t talk much.

Doesn’t stop them from being a curious kid, though.

Today, Sans is relaxing, enjoying his escape from Alphys’s “SELF-ESTEEM TRAINING!!!” with Papyrus and Undyne, when Frisk trots up to him and stops, staring down at him insistently.

“‘sup, buddy?” he asks. “you find a cool rock somewhere?”

Frisk sometimes brings artifacts back from their adventures—clothes, tools, toys; almost always human artifacts that they seem to pick up from where no human had any business being in the first place.

Doesn’t look like that’s what’s going on now, though. They just have their stick with them, and the locket they picked up somewhere Underground. They’re clutching their shirt hem.

“…home?” they ask, craning their head to look behind them. They scan the surrounding buildings and trees at the edge of town before they check on Paps and crew.

Sans scans the area, too. Frisk hadn’t gone far—he’d been keeping an eye socket on them, or at least their SOUL; they hadn’t been out of his sight for more than a few minutes.

Then again, they do get nervous when they haven’t seen Toriel or Asgore for a while, even after years have passed and their new parents have failed to abandon them. Maybe they’re just antsy?

Undyne suplexes a dumpster unexpectedly, and Frisk whips around to face the noise, one hand outstretched like they would shield Sans from Undyne’s reign of terror against his fellow piles of garbage.

A tense moment passes. Frisk stares at Undyne, who is attempting to suplex Alphys, who is being carried by Papyrus. It looks like they’re playing some sort of keep-away game.

“pretty jumpy there, buddy,” Sans notes. Frisk glances at him, before going back to scanning their (still perfectly normal) surroundings. “makes a guy wonder. what’s rattling your bones?”

Not even a huff. Frisk just shrugs uncomfortably.

“come on. you can trust me, right? tell your buddy sans what’s wrong.” He winks his right eye.

Frisk squirms. They’ll break in a second, Sans is sure of it. Just a little more pressure…

Frisk’s eyes dart away, focusing intently on nothing, and their body twists to follow their gaze. They trot towards it two paces without even seeming to realize it, before their movement is arrested.

They reach up to clutch at something—hard to say what, from Sans’s vantage point on the ground behind them. Their collar, maybe?

They back up a half pace, making the tiniest conflicted noise. They shake their head.

“uh. frisk?” Sans asks.

Frisk glances at him, turning to keep both him and the point of nothing that’s caught their attention in their field of view.

Sans doesn’t know a lot about human eyesight, but if he doesn’t miss his guess, they’re focusing far away. Are they looking at the end of town or past it?

He can’t see anything there, but Frisk sometimes knows things he doesn’t. He’ll have to come back here later and see if he can rustle anything up.

“Home,” Frisk insists. “We shouldn’t be here.”

They reach down towards Sans, and Sans forgoes jokes for a moment to let them pull him up. Frisk doesn’t seem like they’d take the old whoopee cushion joke too well right now.

Normally that wouldn’t stop him, but he doesn’t want to be the shout that causes the avalanche. Frisk is pretty fearless normally. Whatever’s spooked them could be pretty…spooky.

They don’t let go of Sans once he’s on his feet, choosing instead of grab his sleeve and tug insistently. He lets them propel him along, taking an arcing path towards the others.

If the kid’s keeping an even radius from whatever’s scared them, that puts it past a stand of trees. Nothing he can see right now, and they shouldn’t be able to, either.

Sans stares at the back of Frisk’s head. what’s going on here, kiddo?

Frisk doesn’t seem to notice, focused between Papyrus and the trees, until they glance back at him again.

“Do you…” they start. Then they shake their head, apparently deciding that whatever it is, he doesn’t.

“oh, yeah. all the time,” he says vaguely.

“No, no. Nothing. Nothing,” Frisk says. “It’s—did you ever—work with—nothing. Never mind.”

“i’ve had a few jobs, kiddo, i’ve worked with a lot of people,” Sans comments. “maybe a name would jog my memory?”

It’s not a joke, but Frisk snorts, only a little off-beat.

“No, it wouldn’t. Never mind. You should go home. Bring everyone. Game night.” They tug Sans forward and push him the last few feet, to Papyrus, Undyne and Alphys.

The training crew has politely paused midway through a game of catch with Alphys as the ball. Undyne sets her down by the head as Sans and Frisk approach.

“What’s up? Here to join in our EPIC TRAINING SESH?!?” she shouts.

The force of her passion generates a gust of wind that goes right through Sans. Frisk, on the other hand, has to cling to his hoodie to avoid being pushed back, at least until Papyrus’s blue magic anchors them more firmly to the ground.

“Brother! I Am Glad You Have Finally Chosen To Join Us, Instead Of Sitting Under A Tree And Being Lazy All Day! I Am…Surprised You Have Finally Chosen To Join Us! Shocked, In Fact!” Papyrus says. His eye sockets narrow. “…This Wouldn’t Happen To Be A Jape That You Are Concocting With Frisk, Is It? Human! I Have Told You Not To Succumb To My Brother’s Lazy Trickery! You Should Join Us In Training Just To Block Out His Tomfoolering Influence!”

Sans cuts in before he can get on a tangent—normally he has fun egging his brother on, but Frisk just might try pushing them all home if they dawdle too long, and funny as that would be, Sans doesn’t want to know what lengths Frisk would go to to get them all settled into a relative “safe” area.

“frisk just wanted to head home a bit early. too much fun out here, figured we’d ask who’s up for game night,” Sans says.

Frisk lurches and looks at him strangely, even though he’d pretty much just said what they had. Unless “too much fun” means something different to humans. Sans should remember to look that up some time after he stalks Frisk’s encounter with whatever’s out there.

It’s not stalking if you have parental consent, right? It’s, uh…temporary…guardianship. That promise he made to Tori all those years ago counts for that, right?

Welp. Too late to be quibbling over moralisms, anyway. Sans is in this deep, and it’s not like the kid is gonna let anyone else know what’s going on.

Papyrus hesitates, a bit thrown by the sudden plan change—they have a game night already scheduled for tomorrow, tonight was supposed to be relatively free so he could prepare a Meal of Epic Proportions for it—but Alphys is perceptive as Sans knows her to be.

After being placed on the ground, she’d gotten her bearings and read some part of Frisk’s frantic discomfort off of their posture. Their face has resumed a blank expression, but their free hand is clutching their locket, and they’re standing half-hidden behind Sans closer than usual.

Or, from the perspective to the point they’re avoiding, Sans is half-hidden behind them, with Papyrus and Undyne grouped behind them both.

While Papyrus is talking, Alphys makes a subtle gesture to Sans—??—and he shrugs one shoulder and tilts his head back—dunno, but i’m going along with it.

This is not the first nor the last time Alphys will be frustrated by Sans’s staunch refusal to get overtly involved in a puzzling situation, but she does trust him, and she knows him well enough to know he’ll be doing his own investigation later. She pipes up in support.

“I-I think th-” The weight of everyone’s attention makes her flinch, but not as bad as she was during the worst of the amalgamates mess. She steadies after a moment. “I think that that would be f-fun. We c-could bring over something to…”

Frisk’s grip on Sans’s sweater, still there, tightens a fraction—again on the word ‘fun.’ Their stick shifts against his back. Where they’re holding it it’s sort of like a weird seat belt, or some kind of really ineffective shield.

Frankly, if anything were to get through the human at his back, there’s not a lot that would make an effective shield, except maybe magic. Given that Frisk only has DETERMINATION, a stick is as good as anything else, Sans supposes.

Sans shifts slightly, not even enough to be adjusting his weight, and moves his hand a bit. nope. Hopefully Alphys’ll get his meaning—Frisk said they should go to Sans and Paps’ house, and they seem to want to keep everyone together. Whatever is suggested needs to fill both of those conditions.

Jeez, this is really straining his teamwork muscles. It’s been forever since he and Alphys have had to be this in sync. Last time they worked together on something sensitive was…uh…

“Actually, I think! We left off right before the series finale of Kissy Kissy Mer-mew! And even if it’s not! As good as the original! Th-that’s still at your house! So we can watch that! And try making popcorn again!” Alphys quickly course-corrects, and Frisk relaxes. Sans nods, and Alphys relaxes, too.

Oh, he is really not getting out of this without explaining something to her later. He owes her several favors for this one.

Well, maybe one less, with the popcorn suggestion. She has essentially sacrificed his kitchen.

“Good,” Frisk says, pushing at Sans again.

Undyne and Papyrus, watching this interplay like a particularly subtle ping-pong match, decide it’s not worth questioning. Except…

“Hey, isn’t you guys’ house that way…?” Undyne points back to their house, snowy roof clearly visible, a hundred or so feet from the Dreaded Copse of Evil Trees.

“don’t worry.” Sans winks. “i know a shortcut.”

Frisk jerks his shoulder back, and-

Sans takes a shortcut. Taking four other people with him is a bit more costly, magically speaking, than he usually prefers; but whatever’s intimidating Frisk will probably be disconcerted by the Void, right? Home field advantage.

He makes up the calculations for his shortcut on the fly, like he always does. It’s a short trip spatially, and he has a good grip on everyone’s magical signatures to pull them with him. It should be an easy trip. Something he’s so accustomed to at this point that it’s barely math, more intuition. He knows what the hit to his magical reserves will feel like, he’ll be a little hungry and a little sleepy; he knows where he’s going; he knows he’s going to dump Frisk in a snowbank because they could use a laugh.

It should be totally forgettable.

Instead, the Void bucks and writhes, around him and through him like a living thing, like drowning or being crushed or ripped apart into infinitude, and in that endless instant of travel, he grasps every atom, every scrap of energy that makes himself up, and desperately scrabbles for something to keep it together. What shape is he supposed to fit together in? What is he? He’s—

Magic. Magic, that’s what he’s doing. He’s using magic to travel, and he can use it to hold things, move things, can’t he? A stray photon attempts to escape form him and he grabs everything near him, everything he can feel, with blue magic, drags it to him—

Sans. He’s Sans. He’s Sans the skeleton, whole and in the corrupted void—it acts almost like a physical space, right now, flashing lights that he experiences as numbers and words, FUN on a little graph that spikes up and up. If he looked deeply into it, he’s certain that he would understand what went wrong, what happened, how it all works; the void could show him so many things he doesn’t understand.

Instead, he reaches out with his blue magic. someone, anyone.

Falling apart in the same way he was, he can feel his friends. He grasps for Papyrus first; he’s similarly resilient against the Void normally, but Sans isn’t sure “normally” applies right now.

It’s the work of an hour, the work of an instant to crush Papyrus’s magic back into a workable SOUL, and in that infinite moment he gathers his brother’s flaking dust and forces magic and light into it. Intense blue gravity fuses dissipating particles back into one being, and he reaches for Alphys. She’s the least DETERMINED, therefore, most vulnerable to harm.

His magic falters. It’s been a long time since it’s had this kind of workout. He grits his teeth and pushes harder. Time doesn’t work in the Void, so technically, he hasn’t spent any of that magic yet, right? He can use it simultaneously with himself. He’s only experiencing this in linear time because his mind is trying to make sense of what’s happening to him. As long as he doesn’t die or anything, he can reuse the same magic and the same moment. Right?

Sans is clumsier this time as he reaches blindly, messily towards Alphys’s relative direction. Her own magic should keep her alive as long as she’s not actively disappearing into the Void, right? He pushes her magic and dust into a general shape with a crack! and moves on.

Oh. That crack might have been him, actually. Ouch.

…so, turns out he does still have limited magic in nonlinear time.

Undyne isn’t falling apart so much as getting…gooey. Her DETERMINATION is trying to keep her together. Good, he just needs to get her out of the Void and hope it’s not too little, too late.

With effort, Sans searches for the other end of his shortcut, the inevitable finish to the calculation he’d based their path on, but…the Void is twisting, jerking around him—he can’t find it without looking through the Void, and once he looks, he’ll be lost.

Sans blindly tears a hole with a SOUL-deep tug that tell him he’s reached the end of his energy. Weakly, already falling back into physical reality, he turns back to find Frisk—

--who’s watching him, reaching with wide, wet eyes, as he and the others are saved, just a touch too far away to reach them.

Sans, out of magic entirely, reaches his physical hand back towards them, knowing already how futile it will be. Frisk’s mouth sets as they see something in his expression. He’s able to see an echo of their immediate future, how their hand will drop, how it will be taken up be an off-color afterimage of them, how both humans—human-shaped beings—will hold on to one another as they watch the tear in the Void close without them. Abandoned.

And then that future vanishes like a puff of smoke that someone put a bullet through, as someone else’s blue magic scoops Frisk up, sending them crashing into Sans and then both of them to Papyrus.

Sans’s brother is so cool.

Sans is able to see through his darkening vision that they’re falling through a dizzying expanse of gray and white, or at least that’s how it looks to him, before he passes out cold.

Paps can stick the landing for them.

(read it on ao3)