#everyone in the quotes is comparing this one to picture as burn as if Taylor didn’t realize that was a weird thing to say back in the year

[lunar-years]

Now why would she…

[scmsdivinecultists]

What your fave SCM god says about you

I read one psychology article and now I’m all knowing. Hope at least one of these points apply to you simps

If your favourite is Leon, you are one of the following:

Youngest child

Outcast or the “popular” kid

Daddy issues

Your childhood dream was either to be royalty or be rich

You hyperfixate to many things

You might say ur not charismatic but you’ve had at least more than 1 person you rejected a love confession to

“You’re wrong, I’m right, shut up.”

You don’t fall in love easily but once you do, you fall hard

You like smug bastards or you have a bondage fantasy

Your favourite voltage game is one of the following: Kissed by the Baddest Bidder, Court of Darkness, Masquerade’s Kiss, or Kings of Paradise

You have fairy lights in your room filled with pictures or posters

You had a massive friend group but at least 5 people have left from then to now

You cling onto memories like they’re a lifeline

You have the latest phone or more than 3 leisure electronics

If your favourite is Scorpio:

You can’t be any taller than 5′6

You probably listen to bands and can’t go anywhere without your headphones

Really creative

Your favourite Shakespeare play was Hamlet or Macbeth

Have had or is going through an emo phase

Hates writing essays

Have 3 best friends max

You have definitely bought albums, posters, or merch of your faves

ur probably a weeb

you’ve broken a bone or you’re very knowledgeable in the medical field/how to harm the human body for some reason

dark humour is the best humour

Your friends are very concerned for you because of said humour

You like watching people play Monopoly bc of the chaos

into so many fandoms that you know the lore of your faves more than you know the material you learn at school

If your favourite is Teorus:

You are an only or youngest child

Spoiled

Daddy/Mommy issues

Abandonment issues

You feel like you fade into the background/don’t contribute much to the group

You feel like you are often forgotten

You’re close with your cousins

You probably have a pet

Taylor Swift or 1D for life

Have definitely threatened to kill or beat someone up despite you intimidating no one

You want to play an important role but you are so not the leader type

You like Ouran Host Club

You like the outdoors

You probably like To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before

Your favourite disney princess is Rapunzel or Cinderella

If your favourite is Huedhaut:

You are definitely a romantic

You’re not an air sign (Gemini, Aquarius, or Libra)

You’re a moron or you make bad decisions and Hue is there to help balance that out

Chances are you read more fanfic than actual books

Your system is 70% caffeine

For some reason you have lots of random trivia

Have you considered therapy for your suppressed trauma?

Dungeons and Dragons fan

You’re really into alcohol or you despise it

Loyalty is the trait you admire most

You want to feel like a sassy and classy bitch but you gave up after 2 days

Your favourite ship trope is enemies to lovers or slow burn

A lot of pent up angst but you hide it 

you put other people > yourself bc you don’t want them to make the same mistakes you did

Why do you have so many memes saved?

Why do you have reaction pictures for everything?

If your favourite is Dui:

You’re probably not into guys

FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT

Either you’re a precious sunshine child or you are the most fucked up human in your friend circle

You have a choking kink

You either take sides in fights or you’re the middle ground

You make lots of threats but no one is acc taking them seriously

You probably are a massive manipulator

You’re psychotic and have violent tendencies 

Your best friend lives far away from you/ you have an internet friend that gets you more than your IRL ones

You say honesty is the best policy but you lie the most

Everyone comes to you for advice but you think you’re the most mentally unstable

You have identity issues and u change ur mind all the time 

Whatever you were as a kid, you’re probably the opposite of that now

If your favourite is Ichthys:

You are attached to the characters with the most trauma

You must not be a clean freak or your room is equally as messy as Ikky’s

Oldest or middle child (either way u have siblings) 

Never got to go to an amusement park as a kid 

Want attention/didn't get enough attention as a kid

You want Ichthys’ parents to adopt u bc they are the family stability you crave

Unresolved trauma and definitely not mentally stable 

You liked dinosaurs as a kid

You had pet fish as a kid and they all died bc you overfed them

Using anything else to escape ur reality 

Cartoons > real life actors

Probably hate seafood or afraid of the sea (ironic as it is)

Nostalgia is your best friend

Hurt/Comfort is your favourite AO3 tag

You collect random shit or you have a memory box

You are the reason child leashes were invented

You got into real dangerous situations as a kid and you’re wondering how you lived through that

Your comfort characters all got it the worst or are dead

If your favourite is Zyglavis:

How are those high expectations treatin ya? 

You either want to get into medical, sciences, or law

When you were younger you got enrolled in extra classes (swimming, piano, ballet, etc)

Your parents encouraged creativity until you got older and they told you to choose a more “realistic” goal

Good grades = everything and you’ll pull all-nighters to finish tasks or assignments

Former gifted student 

The actual smart kid in class 

YOU HAVE SELF ESTEEM/CONFIDENCE ISSUES

80s are not good enough for you or your parents

Overachiever for any reason 

Sleep? What is sleep?

A dom or a brat

You have strict parents or you have had pretty loose rules growing up

You had a lot of friends in grade school and now you have like 4 friends

You are no longer human, you’re just a walking husk of stress

If your favourite is Krioff:

You want to fuck one of Krioff’s family members

You have siblings

A pyromaniac or deathly afraid of fire

Commitment issues

You watch or ur a sports fan

You own an iPhone 6

You’ve ate forbidden items or you’ve thought about it (the fish tank pebbles, erasers, glass, slime, etc)

Everyone thinks you’re the awkward kid but no you’re just shy

You actually like the ocean waves

Once people get to know you, they got a whole thing coming for them

You either suck at driving or can’t drive

A great listener but you don’t feel like you give good advice

Conflict is a no no for you

You definitely had a glow up

You’ve befriended the seniors growing up

You either don’t like kids or you love them

You have a sweet tooth and everyone questions how you are not diabetic with the amount of sweets you’ve consumed

If your favourite is Aigonorus:

You’re either an insomniac or a hypersomniac. Whichever one, you don’t know how much sleep is enough sleep

You’re probably a sub

Commitment or abandonment issues

Desperate for validation and appreciation

touch/love/attention starved

You have a stuffed animal collection or you still have those childhood stuffed animals

You love the idea of love but you are not ready to deal with breakups

You wish you didn’t care but you care too much

Your aesthetic is cutecore

Probably into maid cat boys

Studio Ghibli or Sanrio stan

Comfort > style anyday

You only own sneakers nothing else

If your favourite is Partheno:

You’re definitely not into just guys 

You’re a drama kid and you are here for the tea whether it involves you or not

you have the receipts for everything

You were the one kid that played “family” or “house” every recess

no one knows where you get all your cute shit but it serves

have been suspected of witchcraft or considered the dark arts

Stole makeup from your fam as a kid and played with it

HIDE THE TRAUMA. HIDE THE PAST.

You already have a senior quote picked out

You’re either really horny or you just want to cry over how much you love so and so

“Why do men-”

You really want to own that Partheno doll in that one CG

Your most used social media app is Instagram or Snapchat

Your favourite demon brother from Obey Me is most likely Asmodeus 

If your favourite is Tauxolouve:

Your favourite KBTBB guy is either Baba or Mamo

You’re into music or theatre

Your ideal date is to go to an opera or a museum

You say you like/dislike something but end up changing ur mind later or when you try it out

In your opinion, the music nowadays is just not it

You recently found a receipt from Walmart for something you bought 5 months ago

Anniversaries are important

When making decisions, you pick the worst possible one

Your most expensive clothing items are your shoes or jewelry

You wish you could attend a ball and marry into royalty, like Cinderella

You like the idea of soulmates or string of fate 

Obviously or secretly insecure/self deprecating but you’ll raise all hell if your loved ones talk shit abt themselves

You want your partner to propose first

You like the underrated characters or your favourite characters are unappreciated

If your favourite is Karno you are:

You have childhood trauma, some of you are just not aware of it

You’re the parent of the group

You enjoy ships that have a mom/dad dynamic

Either you’re banned from the kitchen or you’re the one banning people from the kitchen

You were threated with the slipper or you threaten with the slipper

As a kid, you enjoyed Dora or Ni Hao Kai Lan

Your favourite trope is the found family trope

Either you’re an example to your family or you keep getting compared to other kids

An angel around the family but a chaotic bastard with others

You’re probably into some really kinky shit

You like Dangonronpa

Spiritual or religious

Probably had an imaginary friend 

You decided you were gonna turn your life around after reading/watching something and went back to the hot mess you were in 3 days

[spiderman-spoilerman]

SPIDERMAN EXPOSED BECAUSE OF TAYLOR SWIFT ADDICTION: What Is Peter Parker to Spider-Man?

This shit that has been going on for months now has finally been solved. For the longest time I’ve been following Spider-Man oh so very closely, eager to find out his identity—not to expose it to the media vultures, oh no, our hero deserves more than that. But… to satisfy my own curiosity. He’s the only Avenger hiding his identity, you know? You’d think they’d be okay with it after all these other superheroes get to run around freely…

Anyway!

As you all know, countless names have been linked to Spider-Man. He seems close with Tony Stark, but that’s hardly relevant. There’ve been links to JD Slinger, the American Pop Singer, in a very poor attempt to sell records—you’re not Hannah Montana JD fucking Slinger! Stick to your trash music!!!

However untrue and disappointing Slinger’s attempt at fame is, he’s not the only one with musical elements that is linked to Spider-Man.

A few months ago, a viral video entering adorable and kind of pedos-get-the-fuck-out-of-here-territory circulated around the internet and into our nightly news, as does every baby goes viral video does. You can check it out on the link below for a good dose of endorphins.

[Link: Baby boy wants to be Taylor Swift, re-uploaded by djflash]

[Description: A six-year old boy is standing in the shower with a towel draped over his body like a makeshift cloak, he is clutching his tooth brush on and seems to be furiously lip syncing. The camera shakes as the person behind the camera stifles laughter.

May Parker, the original uploader and aunt of the then-toddler Peter, asks: Aren’t you tired Peter? From all the singing? You’ve been singing for two hours. Aren’t you cold?

Peter is intensely staring at the mirror as he lip-syncs but pauses to look at May. He says in a tired and raspy voice: Yeah, but, but my fans! I need to sing, Auntie May, for the fa— [looking harried] DROP EVERYTHING NOW, MEET ME IN THE POURING RAIN—

The sound of Peter singing is drowned by May’s scream as Peter falls on his butt, having jumped with his passion for the song, and tripping.

It cuts off with May laughing while taking Peter in her arms, phone capturing her picking him up and hearing Peter crying as he tries to get back to the mirror: It—doesn’t hurt May. Need to get back—my! My concert!

Video ends]

Now how does a viral video of a baby Taylor Swift fan connect to Spider-Man?

Well, May Parker posted it on Facebook when Flash Thompson, who claims to be a good friend of Peter Parker (although I highly doubt this, he’s only in it for the clout and Spider-Man’s love, click here for more on Flash), decided to share it to everyone. One of his reposts on Twitter propelled it to viral success.

Weeks later, May Parker decided to bless us again with more content by taking a video of her now teenage (17 years old—PEDO’S STAY AWAY) nephew singing, once again, a Taylor Swift song.

[Link: I’m so glad im seventeen and can properly thirst upon this wonderful hooman]

[Description: They are in the kitchen this time and May Parker is being discreet with her video-taking. A Taylor Swift song ends softly from his phone’s tiny speakers. A Spotify ad interrupts but the video cuts it off two seconds later for another Taylor Swift song to filter in.

We take in the scenario. Peter is in his pyjamas, shaking his booty while singing Stay Stay Stay. He flourishes his hands a few times, dramatizing, “That’s when you came in wearing a football helmet, and I said, [he changes voices] “Okay, let’s talk” [he finishes one pancake and pours a new batter in before using the ladle as a microphone, as if in anticipation for the moment, and, back bent, face scrunched up, belts: STAYSTAYSTAY I’ve b EEN LUH-VING YOU FOR QUITE SOME TIME- TI-HIME! YOU THINK THAT ITS FUNNEH WHEN I’M—OH MAN, I spilled batter on my shirt!”

The camera shakes with May’s silent laughter. Peter does not seem to notice. He looks side to side, almost as if he is looking for something to wipe the batter with, but there are no paper towels in sight and his shirt is dripping with the excess batter the size of his fist.

In the most compelling, and understandable, moment of decision making, Peter has chosen not to be responsible and strips instead, to the utter delight of seventeen-year old’s in the world (and ONLY those younger than that! Pedos, I swear to god, if I see you, I kill you, that last blog was the last time you make me burn my eyes!)—a wonderful set of abs and toned muscles you would not expect from a seventeen year old boy singing to Taylor Swift with the squeakiest voice in the world.  Adorable. Ten points for my good boy ranks.

The video ends with Peter staring further at the shirt and licking at the batter before it violently cuts off to the roaring laughter of one May Parker]

It is peculiar, to watch May navigate the wonders of technology, too, because the first video was on her Facebook years unnoticed before Flash Thompson unearthed it for the world to see (Mr. Thompson, what exactly were your intentions going through a beautiful May Parker’s Facebook pictures?). But this time, she also apparently intended to send it to Peter’s friend’s Instagram account. However, the fluke came when she posted it and tagged them instead.

People who have followed her upon the first viral video have now decided it to be God’s work to distribute the video, making it viral within days. The very same people were the ones who noticed that Peter Parker’s singing style is the very same as Spider-Man’s.

I hear you gasp. Well, of course. I spit my tea as well, when I realized it too.

See, unless you were living under a rock, about a year ago, Spider-Man was exposed as a Taylor Swift fan when he saved a ten year old girl and began teaching her about the History and Influence of Swift’s discography and career, before proceeding to sing with her the hit song Speak Now. All of it was caught on camera, of course.

The people who spread this new video started a conspiracy theory that Spider-Man and Peter Parker are very similar people. One user @finn-man-the-aquaman pointed out that Spider-Man and Peter Parker’s voice are very similar. Another user @maxine_and_spider-man compared the dance moves from the two videos, putting frames of each steps beside each other, and found that it was so uncannily similar that it couldn’t have been a coincidence. It was an interesting point to make, because both Peter and Spider-Man had particular steps, all seemingly on a whim, but also matching each other perfectly. They are by no means good dancers, God no, but their whimsical dancing looks like two bad dancers following one choreography, couldn’t follow it technically but committed to it emotionally.

Twitter user @emiliar summarized it the best: the chest pump, the feet extension, the little jig, and the butt shake, before leaning backward and singing at the height of their emotions— apparently this is a common dance choreography?

To which @pissshitcry responded with a video that would bring us the wonderful breakthrough that I’ve been walking you all through.

[VIDEO uploaded by spidermansavedmetwice]

[Caption by @pissshitcry: No. Apparently: ]

[Video Description: Spider-Man is swinging through the buildings before stopping by Midtown High School, in front of a harried looking student, screaming frantically, and this is it folks: CAN YOU GIVE THIS TO NED LEEDS, TELL HIM SPIDER-MAN THANKS HIS FRIEND PETER! tHANKS! Before zipping away

Video ended]

Now. Okay. I know, calm down guys, I’m trying so hard not to run up the hills and do an Irish Jig, because I am so, so, so excited about all these new revelations! Nobody has quite documented this, too, so people, watch out for more of my content in a few weeks.

SO! Implication one: Spider-Man knows Ned Leeds.

Implication two: Peter Parker helped Spider-Man somehow.

Implication three: Spider-Man knows Peter Parker.

Cut, do it again, but with more emotions: SPIDER-MAN KNOWS PETER PARKER.

Let’s zoom back to a few weeks after the viral hits and Taylor Swift posts a video of her watching the video and then saying into the camera, with that iconic red lipstick and perfectly sculpted eyebrows: I have never thought this would be something that will happen to me in my career ever, but seeing a super-hero sing praises about me and teaching my [and she quotes from Spider-Man’s erratic explanation about her history] “unattainable song-writing prowess equal to that of the rock singing legends of ye old—” really does bring a smile to my face! More than that, Peter Parker is an absolute cutie too! He looks like such a sweetheart, baking those pancakes, apparently, for her aunt? Be sweet to your aunts guys! But also. I came here to cordially invite both Spider-Man and Peter Parker to come out to my concert in New York in two weeks! I’ll be there May 25th at the Lincoln Center, and maybe we can all sing together!”

She ends the video with the iconic Spider-Man wrist flip. The video has been circulated and has now gained over an estimated 100 million views.

It sparked a buzz of interest among the people, Peter Parker having received much of the spotlight. He hasn’t said anything in relation to Spider-Man but had reluctantly agreed to go to Swift’s invite. And I cannot emphasize the reluctant part. Kid looked so uncomfortable, but maybe he’s just shy!

Okay. Now, this thing is the most glaring indicator of what I will be telling you. The night of the concert. Everyone is there for Swift, but everyone is also there waiting for the much-awaited Spider-Man and Peter Parker saga. Halfway into her song list, Taylor Swift stopped to talk. The time has come.

Peter Parker walks into the stage, and the crowd welcomes him with adoring cheers, similar to Swift’s entrance herself. She introduces him, even though she absolutely does not need to, and the people scream their approval.

When Swift gives him his own mic, he almost drops it before catching it with his incredible reflexes. Swift calls for Spider-Man to reveal himself, much to the delight of the crowd, chanting his name as if it was a concert for him, which, in many ways, it kind of was. However, Spider-Man didn’t appear after that and the duo had to continue on.

It was a cute performance, with Parker stumbling a few times before getting the groove with Swift and belting it out as well. Everyone joins in on them singing and enjoying her old songs, Swift smiling and laughing the whole time.

Peter leaves the stage Spider-Man plushies and roses thrown for him, to which he received with a graceful bow. Swift resumes her concert after a few hearty jokes thrown in—but wait! What’s that?!

A screaming insect crashes at one of the large LED walls at the stage and the camera [and the collective crowd] is surprised to see the superhero—SPIDER-MAN!

“Ehehehe, hello Miss Taylor Swift, Ma’am!” He says, in a particularly deeper voice. Autotune? Before they sing it out, as they would—Swift laughing, and Spider-Man trying—Spider-Man explains that he was nervous meeting Peter Parker, before scrambling to correct that it was Swift he was nervous about meeting.

Swift then teases Spider-Man about a potential crush, which.

BRINGS US TO MY BREAKTHROUGH POINT.

TAYLOR SWIFT WAS ABOUT TO BRING US THE GAY COUPLE OF THE CENTURY, BUT SPIDER-MAN WAS TOO CHICKEN TO GET TO IT.

Okay, alright, I hate pedos, and we don’t exactly know Spider-Man’s age but we do know that he’s very young, what with all the pop culture references he’s been dropping with the intuition of an internet native. So, he’s young, alright? Possibly Gen-Z, even. Here’s a post you can see about his age analysis.

SPIDER-MAN. HAS. A. CRUSH. ON. PETER. PARKER.

[Insert hand chopping movements]

AND THEY ALMOST HAD A CUTE MOMENT ON STAGE HAD SPIDER-MAN BRAVED IT THROUGH.

PETER PARKER, AND I MEAN, PETER PARKER! SPIDER-MAN HAS A CRUSH ON YOU!

We’ve established that Spider-Man knows Peter Parker. They’ve met. Peter has possibly helped, or even saved Spider-Man himself. Now, saving a superhero is something that not just anybody does. And Parker himself is a student at Midtown Science High—he’s a smart kid! And seeing as these events just happened months apart, it wouldn’t be too far-fetched to imagine them meeting again, perhaps, with Parker making pancakes in dewy mornings, and a tired (and yearning) Spider-Man is watching from the windows as Peter dances along to Swift’s songs.

The watching from the windows theory and thus getting to know the choreography might not be so creepy if you factor in the fact that Spider-Man might be hiding his crush for Parker’s safety!

It is like the modern incarnation of Super-Hero romance, only now, its more inclusive! To exist in such a beautiful world, and to watch such an innocent tale bloom in this cruel, cruel world. We could only hope to see more of them together, maybe as something... more?

--

COMMENTS:

reblogged by thunderstrike: this is like someone trying to overanalyze twilight for some depth—THERE ISN’T ONE!

thunderstrike reblogged by spidahmanna: come on, give them some credit at least for recounting the most batshit insane crossover in the universe as we know it so far

reblogged by skdfas: this person needs help, but very entertaining to read

reblogged by nedleads: oH MY GOD 

reblogged by kliyon: new ship, age appropriate Spider-Man x Peter Parker

reblogged by ekeke: um yes, i need a dash of meet-cute with one cup of flavored angst—soda please, I like it to hurt— large fluff, a BFF serving of some of them yearning, and a happy sad-meal for one please.

reblogged by unaunann: im done with this site, who wants to burn the internet with me?

3, 000 reblogs in 1 day

--

 Tony, reading the blog: Hmmm…

[Later]

Tony: Okay so I read this blog and I have remedied it.

Peter: Oh my god thankyoumisterstark I swear I didn’t mean to—

Tony: You are now the biggest shareholder for Spotify because I know you don’t want me to pay for a premium account, but if you’re gonna listen to those damn ads while singing to Taylor Swift, at least earn from it, you know?

Peter: …that’s what you took from the whole thing?

--

NEXT ARTICLE: The Avengers film a parody of Queen’s I Want To Break Free. Is Captain America is as beautiful as Rogerina, or is he too buff??? Tony Stark is an iconic drama queen, perfect for Freddie Mercury, and more!

[redsoapbox]

MY TOP FIFTEEN TRACKS BY WELSH ACTS IN THE PAST DECADE.

Pictured - Davey Newington. Davey features in the list twice - as Boy Azooga and as a member of the gone but not forgotten Houdini Dax.

In my introduction to Pop Hack, my debut collection of reviews/interviews, I make the claim that ‘some of the best records I have heard in my lifetime come from the unsigned and unsung acts that I stumbled upon covering the Welsh music scene’. I repeated that claim the other day while being interviewed by Bill Cummings for his Cymru Am Bop podcast (see link below), so I thought it was about time I put some flesh on the bones. In no particular order, then, are fifteen tracks from some of the best singer/ songwriters and bands in Wales.

1. Dan Bettridge - Third Eye Blind (2015)

Released as a single in 2015, and wisely included in Dan’s exceptional debut album Asking For Trouble three years later. “Third Eye Blind” is a stirring soul workout, hugely influenced by Van Morrison’s classic track “Real, Real Gone”, and a surefire set closer by anybody’s standards.

2. Pretty Vicious - Cave Song (2014)

The mighty tune that famously sent the major record labels into a lather and into a headlong race to Merthyr in pursuit of the teenage rockers. I caught the band at the EVI (Ebbw Vale Institute), a few months after they had signed on the dotted line, and filed one of the earliest national reviews of the band for Wales Arts Review. I spent most of the review decrying their major label status; ‘Pretty Vicious has signed with Virgin, it’s the first uncool thing they’ve done’ I moaned. I ended the review on a note of caution - ‘Pretty Vicious would be wise not to rush into the recording studio just yet. You never get a second chance at a debut album’. My scepticism about the multinational’s motives was on the money - the band was unceremoniously dropped by Branson and Co in 2017 without even releasing an album!

https://soundcloud.com/prettyviciousuk/cave-song

3. Houdini Dax - Found Love In The Dole Office. (2015) 

I was a huge fan of Cardiff’s sadly defunct power-pop trio, whose two albums, You Belong To Dax Darling (2011) and, particularly, Naughty Nation (2015), are packed with bangers/earworms/crackers - take your pick. I was bemused by their complete lack of success, but nevertheless surprised when they morphed overnight into Monico Blonde. Drummer Davey Newington went on to bigger, if not necessarily better things, with Boy Azooga of course. “Found Love In The Dole Office” is a typical Dax track, matching a punchy melody with a clever lyric. 

4. Jodie Marie - Everyone Makes Mistakes (2015)

Taken from one of my all time favourite albums, Trouble in Mind (2015), “Everyone Makes Mistakes” is one of four or five outstanding ballads that form the centrepiece of this truly fine record. This is a heartbreaking song that leaves the listener reeling!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNBraJss7-4&feature=youtu.be&autoplay=1

5. oblong - Light Sleeper (2019)

I tossed a coin with this track. Llanelli’s bilingual post-punk combo has released two scorching albums, Brilliant...Gwd (2017) and Hollalluog (2019), which are brimming over with terrific tunes. Any one of them will set the pulses racing.

https://oblong1.bandcamp.com/

6. Danielle Lewis - West Coast Sun (2016) 

When we beat this virus and lockdown truly ends, this is the record that I’m going to emerge from my hideaway playing. A joyous tune that deserves the sun on its back and for people to be of good cheer when they listen to it. Danielle’s current single “Flowers” is another beautiful composition.

https://daniellelewis.bandcamp.com/track/west-coast-sun

7. Aled Rheon - Wrap up Warm  (2016)

It’s never the done thing to quote oneself, but as this feature is partly to publicise my book Pop Hack I’m going to take a diabolical liberty! In my review of the song I write ‘It’s a beautifully judged lyric with a performance to match, as Rheon’s fine-grained vocal manages to make James Taylor sound like Jello Biaffra’. Not bad, even if I say so myself!

8. Armstrong - Gratitude (2019)

Although this song dates back a good number of years, it was included in the deluxe release of Armstrong’s majestic album Under Blue Skies (2019). As with oblong, above, I was spoiled for choice and very nearly chose the exquisite “My Resistance”, then again I very nearly opted for the heartaching “Perhaps It’s Time To Say Goodbye”. “Gratitude”, though, has a life-affirming quality that somehow transcends the times in which we live.

https://bigtakeover.com/recordings/ArmstrongUnderBlueSkiesTheBeautifulMusic

9. Climbing Trees - Aliosi (2013)

Does this song really contain ‘the most romantic couplet in the history of pop’, as I somewhat fancifully speculated in my review of Hebron, the Pontypridd combo’s debut album? Perhaps not, but that’s what a great pop song can do to you. I happily plead guilty to getting carried away by ‘Sunlight streams into my eyes, It always brings me to /  I didn’t mean to wake you darling, but I can’t keep my eyes off you’. If that doesn’t set your heart racing, what will?

https://ilikeclimbingtrees.bandcamp.com/track/aloisi

10. Silent Forum - Limbo (2017)

Silent Forum had a great 2019, with their debut album Everything Solved At Once earning them rave reviews across the board. It’s a wonderful album and it would have been easy to choose its centrepiece, the stupendous “How I Faked The Moon Landing”. I opted, however, for “Limbo” an old favourite of mine and a song that stood out for me the very first time I saw the band play in 2015. This is Indie-noir incarnate!

https://silentforum.bandcamp.com/track/limbo-2

11. Buzzard Buzzard Buzzard - Love Forever (2019).

Can there be any doubt that Tom Rees and his band are heading for the big time? The man writes killer tunes and has the chutzpah to carry them off. Rees is a real political animal, but he tends to separate that out from his music. On “Love Forever”, an ‘all you need is love’ protest song, he puts a hippy-dippy toe in choppy political waters for the first time. 

12. Boy Azooga - Loner Boogie (2018)

After missing the boat with Houdini Dax and Monico Blonde, Davey Newington’s ship finally came in with his solo project Boy Azooga, leading to support slots with the likes of Bob Dylan and Neil Young. This tune is as fun ‘n’ funky as pop music gets.

13. Burning Ferns -  Bullet Train

Newport’s Burning Ferns are often compared to stellar names like Big Star, Teenage Fan Club and The Byrds, so if you admire classic songwriting, chiming guitars and three-part harmonies then their two fine albums on Country Mile See Saw Seen (2013) and Public Mono (2017) are must-have records.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TM6m3GTm7DE

14. Georgia Fearn - Catch Me When You Can (2018)

An edgy and imaginative songwriter, Georgia Fearn was just 17 when she released her debut album, the dark delight that was Perfect on Paper. Equally influenced by TV, cinema and literature’s tales of the macabre, Perfect on Paper is something of a black comedy, one that you might want to listen to crouched into the foetal position whilst hiding behind the sofa!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgVmBKAbn6c

15. Head Noise - Microwave (2018)

It defies explanation that Mitch Tennant left the mini-masterpiece “Microwave” off last year’s 14-track debut album Uber Fantastique. A fun pop artefact in the vein of Landscape’s “Einstein A Go-Go”, every home should have one - “Microwave” the song, I mean, not an actual microwave. Although I’m given to understand by the cooks in the household that a microwave is a product that comes in handy, personally I never venture into the kitchen, so I can’t properly comment!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wXV_7fr7k8 

The five next best

Travelator - Anonymous Iconoclasts, That Night at the Table  - Beth Goudie, Just Rock ‘n’ Roll - I Fight Lions, Obsolete - Matthew Fredricks (not yet released), High -Clwb Fuzz.

http://www.godisinthetvzine.co.uk/2020/05/11/podcast-cymru-am-bop-episode-three-featuring-kevin-mcgrath/

All of the above acts are featured in my book Pop Hack

http://bit.ly/PopHack

[carey-pricemas]

Updated Queue

It’s Saturday! Good day peeps! Hope your teams are doing well and not trying to kill you! (I’m guessing the response is a firm no for everyone!) Here is the updated queue guys! I’m trying to get them cranked out faster to keep doing 4 a day, but finals are coming up so I’ve got to work studying in somehow! So forgive me!

Today- Mitch Marner- Catches you rapping

              Andre Burakovsky- hit him in the balls

             Sebastian Aho- argues in Finnish

Sunday- Derek Grant- taking relationship public

              Colton Parayko- free reign

            Dylan Strome- dyes hair for playoffs

             Leon Draisaitl- kids

Monday- Travis Konecny- free reign

                   Auston Matthews- Team posts pictures of you

                 Beau Bennett- Seeing each other again after 10 years

Tuesday- Tyler Seguin/Jamie Benn- art teacher

               William Nylander- being interrupted

             Jeff Skinner- cuddles and takes you to a game

Wednesday- Jake Virtanen- sees reader dancing and gets horny

           Sebasatian Aho- Hell and Back by Andrew Garcia

             Adrian Kempe- Somebody Else by The 1975

Thursday- Josh Anderson- Oblivious about girls

             Leon Draisaitl- meeting friends/teammates

           Jamie Oleksiak- Percentage sequel

           Tyler Seguin- angsty breakup before deployment

Friday- Mikael Granlund- thinks you’re dating him for money

          Alex Nylander- taking someone to a wedding to make him jealous

          Andre Burakovsky- shy meeting the team

Saturday- Morgan Rielly- car accident

             JVR- team photo proposal

           Artemi Panarin- first date nerves

Sunday- Mitch Marner- best friends

               Andre Burakovsky- go out to celebrate after a win

             Jakob Chychrun- Nothing Compares 2 U by Sinead O’Connor

Monday- Connor McDavid- surprise smut after playoff spot clinched

            Andre Burakovsky- How they met for the first time

            Leon Draisaitl- smut

Tuesday- Brendan Gallagher- get jealous of Chucky

             Patrik Laine- impressed by brother’s skills

              Olli Maatta- nervous and rambles in Finnish

              Jakob Chychrun- Scary movie

Wednesday- Brendan Gallagher- cute and cuddly free reign

              William Nylander- fight/make up and smut

              Victor Hedman- older, trying to learn Swedish

Thursday- Auston Matthews- annoyed by energy

              JVR- fight and first I love yous

               AJ Greer- call up to the Avs

Friday- Noah Hanifin- free reign

                  Nate Schmidt- baby fluff

              Connor Brown- smut

              Tyler Seguin- Mitch trying to set his sister up with Matt Martin

Saturday- Dylan Larkin- road trip panic attack

              Auston Matthews- smut

              Ben Hutton- reads to kids

Sunday- Ben Hutton- meet and greet fan experience

              Morgan Rielly- truth or dare smut

              Drew Doughty- embarrassed after fight

Monday- Alex Galchenyuk- protective and fights

              Patrik Laine- tries to convince sister Jets are better (probably going to be a multiparter not gonna lie)

            Jakob Chychrun- insomnia and nightmare

Tuesday- Auston Matthews- unknown feelings and jealous

              JVR- with KIDS and pregnant

              Miles Wood- Jealous smut

Wednesday- Sebastian Aho- pregnant and about to give birth

             Auston Matthews- Takes care of reader after skating injury

              Tom Wilson- fight smut

Thursday- Tyler Seguin- picks on insecurities accidentally

             Andre Burakovsky- broken up but dance at a party

              Miles Wood- smut

              Tom Wilson- DWTS jealousy

Friday- Artturi Lehkonen- embarrassed in front of good friend Gally

              Morgan Rielly- smut

              Chris Kreider- Stepan behind the mic couples interview

Saturday- Connor McDavid- dating famous singer

              Auston Matthews- smut

              Carter Hart- helping him after WJC loss

Sunday- Kevin Hayes- pregnant but new relationship

          Tyler Seguin- shower smut

             Dylan Strome- free reign

Monday- Auston Matthews- Bathwater by No Doubt

              Jake Virtanen- smut

           Brendan Gallagher- going home and running into everyone you know

Tuesday- Auston Matthews- On my own from Les Mis

              Carter Hart- Smut

              William Nylander- Furies player whos there when Leafs clinch playoff spot

Wednesday- Connor McDavid- Stuck in an elevator

              Auston Matthews- clinched playoff smut

              Alex Nylander- NHL debut

Thursday- Brendan Gallagher- singer and Gally gets dreamy

              Morgan Rielly- trying to turn him on in an elevator with teammates

              William Nylander- cheating on girlfriend with you

Friday- Kasperi Kapanen- First NHL goal

              Tyler Seguin- smut before game

              Morgan Rielly- little spoon

Saturday- Dylan Larkin- friends don’t like him

              Andre Burakovsky- he gets insecure

              Mitch Marner- distant fight and make up

Sunday- Alex Nylander- Blind date

              William Nylander- dirty while on the phone

              Auston Matthews- dance party

Monday- Matthew Tkachuk- fight and spend day apart

              Sam Reinhart- smut

              Tyler Seguin- fun date

Tuesday- Auston Matthews- matchmakers

              Aaron Ekblad- son is 1st overall pick

              Jimmy Vesey- Broadway Hamilton practice

Wednesday- Dmytro Timashov- free reign

              Jakob Chychrun- smut

              Connor McDavid- Soon part 2

Thursday- Auston Matthews- accidentally stands up angst

              Maple Leafs Rookie of choice (probably Connor Brown or Zach Hyman)- mother of group

              Sidney Crosby- angst about age difference

Friday- Carter Hart- gets injured during the game

              William Nylander- shower smut/cute

              Andre Burakovsky- cooking

Saturday- Tyler Seguin- protective dogs of pregnancy

              FREDDIE Andersen- Mitch’s older sister

              Charlie McAvoy- jealous of Seggy

Sunday- Auston Matthews- Mitch embarrasses him

              Matt Murray- post Stanley cup smut

              Auston Matthews- song written about you

Monday- Andre Burakovsky- broken ribs

              Sidney Crosby- smut challenge

              Jakob Chychrun- arguing over your work meetings in Cali

Tuesday- Andre Burakovsky- Close as Strangers by 5 Seconds of Summer

              Rich Clune- smut

              Connor Brown- playoff beard

Wednesday- Carter Hart- tries cheesy pickup lines

              Tyler Seguin- smut

              William Nylander- I love you while drunk

Thursday- Alex Wennberg- plane crash

              JJ Piccinich- last home game win fluff/smut

              Jakub Vrana- fluffy free reign

Friday- Downtown Connor Brown- meet and greet and surprised you like him

              Jonathan Toews- smut

              Matthew Tkachuk- you have a stutter

Saturday- Freddie Andersen- playoffs

                Andre Burakovsky- 21st bday jealousy fluff/smut

                Connor Murphy- talking about the future

Sunday- Matthew Tkachuk- falls asleep with baby bro fluff

              Morgan Rielly- smut being caught

              Alex Nylander- friend breakup worries

Monday- Sidney Crosby- teen son from previous relationship

              William Nylander- doesn’t know you’re a virgin

              Jimmy Vesey- friends set you up

Tuesday- Jakob Forsbacka Karlsson- fluff free reign

              Chris Kreider- smut

              Mitch Marner- insecure about love

Wednesday- Auston Matthews- grumpy after playing the Stars

              Freddie Andersen- smut

              William Nylander- playoff beard

Thursday- Downtown Connor Brown- playoff beard

              Alex Wennberg- super smutty XD

              Jordie Benn- expecting first child

Friday- Charlie McAvoy- free reign

              Morgan Rielly- smut

              Sebastian Aho- team finds out about you through Instagram

Saturday- Brady Skjei- makes her sing for him

              Martin Jones- free rein

              Alex Wennberg- nervous about telling him youre pregnant

Sunday- Brendan Gallagher- wearing a Chucky jersey

              Connor McDavid- Family is Sabres fans

              Tom Wilson- The first time again part 2

Monday- Matt Martin- jealous

              Kasperi Kapanen- celebration smut

              Auston Matthews- jealous of basketball team

Tuesday- Jakob Chychrun- boys and girls club

              Kasperi Kapanen- smut someone overhears you

              Martin Jones/Sidney Crosby- Skin by Rihanna

Wednesday- Derick Brassard- pregnant during playoffs

              Brendan Gallagher- calm down (wink wink) during playoffs XD

              Any Rangers player- John Green quote

Thursday- Andre Burakovsky- friends with Patrick Kane

              Andre Burakovsky- protective from man in bar (no one knows)

              Morgan Rielly- large age gap

Friday- AJ Greer- Beach volleyball for team Canada

              Colton Parayko- doesn’t know you speak English

              Mitch Marner- Sees self harm scars

Saturday- Auston Matthews- both busy but make it to sons game

              Auston Matthews- smut doesn’t like Dylan

                Carter Hart- A million reasons by Lady Gaga

Sunday- Mikkeal Boedker- run into each other at grocery store

              Alex Galchenyuk- smut same circles but never met

              Jeff Skinner/Justin Faulk- harassed/assaulted and they save you

Monday- Connor McDavid/Mitch Marner- Late Late show about song

              Austin Matthews- jealousy birthday smut

              Any Caps player- political law firm but then player gets traded

Tuesday- Zach Hyman- proposes through book

              Brady Skjei- celebration smut

              Matthew Tkachuk- Secret Love song by Little Mix

Wednesday- Mitch Marner- messes up Valentines day

              William Nylander- car smut

              Any player- your teenage son is gay and introducing you to first boyfriend

Thursday- Jacob Trouba- Part 2 of Walk in the Park

              Andre Burakovsky- broke up and reunited at Casino night smut

                Auston Matthews- African dancer and he gets jealous

Friday- Kasperi Kapanen- tutoring him in college

              Morgan Rielly- fluffy/smutty

              Auston Matthews- teammate finds sex toys (ropes)

Saturday- Morgan Rielly- one of the guys Morgan’s overprotective and jealous

              Artemi Panarin- tired of being called cute smut

              Morgan Rielly- escape Leafs event and find each other

Sunday- Dmytro Timashov- watch scary movies

              Artemi Panarin- love the sounds  you make smut

              Alex Galchenyuk- Chasing Ghosts by Against the Current

Monday- Morgan Rielly- fluffy/smutty

              William Nylander- first time smut

              Sidney Crosby- damsel in distress

Tuesday- Taylor Hall- transition from Edmonton to NJ

              Rasmus Ristolainen- fluff

              Auston Matthews- yeast infection and dr visit

Wednesday- Problematic Leon Draisaitl- getting ejected during A PLAYOFF GAME

              Oliver Ekman-Larsson- love at first sight

              Alec Martinez- Cinco de Mayo festivities

Thursday- Auston Matthews- tired and clingy

              Jordie Benn- wants to be a family with you and daughter

              Auston Matthews- jealous of Laine

Friday- Auston Matthews- bad day brings food (my kind of man)

              William Nylander- snaps boredom Willy takes to fair

              Johnny Gaudreau- cheer him up after getting swept

Saturday- Jo Drouin- sitting front row at a game

              Brandon Montour- get into a fight

              Filip Forsberg- free reign

Sunday- Auston Matthews/Sidney Crosby- autoimmune disease

              Steven Stamkos- free reign

              Brenden Dillon/Timo Meier- free reign

Monday- Jakob Silfverberg- for noranihilia

              Aaron Ekblad- free reign

              Filip Forsberg- free reign

Tuesday- Brent Burns- free reign

              Roman Josi- free reign

              Martin Jones- free reign

Wednesday- Chris Tierney- free reign

              Nikita Kucherov- free reign

              Mikael Granlund- cute/fluffy

Thursday- Jonathan Marchessault- free reign

              Nino Niederreiter- free reign

              Morgan Rielly- avoid feelings talk and he thinks you don’t like him

Friday- Charlie Coyle- Lipstick part two

              Brendan Gallagher- angry/hate each other smut

              Auston Matthews- you do his makeup and Mitch puts it on Instagram

Saturday- Auston Matthews- you’re sick and he and Mitch take care of you and your kid

              William Nylander- wearing something that turns him on unknowingly

            Pekka Rine- celebrate sweeping Hawks

Sunday- William Nylander- free reign about butt and thighs

              Auston Matthews- meeting friend who doesn’t like the Leafs

              Sidney Crosby- wakes up and mutters I love you a lot

Monday- Artemi Panarin- free reign