#everyone he works with is so baffled by right and angel but no one wants to really ask about it except maybe brent but

[moeblob]

"Maybe I'm a broken man, but I still work"

Aka here's the secret phrase C:

v quick coffee shop doodle - there's a secret phrase on the back but I do not have time to draw it rn cause I gotta pack up and go

(I have been listening to the song "Broken Man" a lot lately ... as I found it out like three days ago. and it really fits Right)

[bewarethecircles]

After a vacation in Alpha Centauri, Gabriel and Beelzebub come back to earth and move in together. They proceed to be the worst and most baffling neighbors anyone in the neighborhood has ever experienced. 

They introduced themselves as Bee and Jim, but immediately started laughing about it, so people are pretty sure those aren't their real names. 

Neither of them seem to have jobs, but they must be rich, because their house is massive and they're always wearing fancy clothes, and their wallets are bursting with money. Maybe they’re in the mafia?

Speaking of fancy clothes, “Jim” is always wearing designer suits. There is an ongoing game where people attempt to take a picture of him in any other clothes. One time, an enterprising teenager went so far as to sneak over in the middle of the night to look into his bedroom (hoping he’d be in pajamas), and saw him still in a suit, Standing on Top of the Bed, eyes wide open and Smiling Brightly. (Gabriel has not gotten the hang of sleeping yet.) (The teenager refuses to go near the house ever again.)

The short one, “Bee,” is consistently trailed by flies. This is alarming to everyone. They say that they're a “fly-keeper,” but people are pretty sure that's not a thing. Do they carry rotting meat around or something?

Bee also seems to be constantly changing appearances. One day they have a buzz cut, the next day their hair goes to their mid-back. Their eyes are a different colour every time you see them. People have set up cameras to take pictures of them on different days, and upon comparing them they are Definitely almost 6 inches taller this week. Even their facial features shift. 

It gets to the point where people decide Jim must just have multiple partners, and be lying about it. (“Multiple partners that all look similar and are never seen together?” the opposition will point out. When asked if they have a better theory, they can never answer.)

The two of them will have romantic moments Anywhere, including standing in the middle of the highway staring into each others eyes. By all rights they should have been run over, but in a bizarre coincidence every car in the area ran out of fuel and stopped moving at that exact moment. People want to blame Jim for it (he did make a strange hand movement, after all), but that would just be absurd.

They use the absolute worst pet names for each other. A list of overheard ones is being recorded. “My rotten cabbage?” “My hell-bringer?” “Dearest packet of crisps??” 

You cannot let them notice that you're disgusted by their lovey-doveyness. They will either get exponentially more cringey, or straight up insult you until you run away crying. Or both. 

“Everyday” by Buddy Holly will be audible to the whole block at all times. Do they know other songs exist? Don't they get bored of this one?? Why is it so loud???

There’s a statue of Jim in the front yard. Its 20 feet tall and definitely a HOA violation, but people are too scared to mention it. Both Bee and Jim will come out at different times and spend hours staring at it dreamily. 

People would hate them, but ever since they moved in the weather has been perfect, crime is at an all time low, and there’s little trucks that go around selling hot chocolate, and those things Probably cant be because of them, but still...

Plus, Jim doesn’t understand how money works at all, so he’ll give you $300 for a bag of chips. It's endearing, even if he is sometimes a jerk.

Bee does seem to know how money works, but they’ll frequently pay even more than Jim, especially if the person seems overworked and the place is under-staffed. They say they have experience with it.

After a month of them living there, most of the neighborhood is in a group chat created to discuss the two of them. Beelzebub is secretly in the chat, and reads their favourite theories to Gabriel. 

A rumour starts going around that they're an angel and a demon in disguise, but no one can agree which one is which. 

Beelzebub is the one who started the rumour. 

If anyone writes a fic with any of this by all means tag me I'd love to see it!!

[jojoiread]

Hello there! Could I ask for some HCs of Charlie Morningstar, Vaggie, and Angel Dust meeting Alastor’s sibling, [Reader] [Gender Neutral] [Platonic], for the first time? They’re also a powerful demon like their brother, have deer-like features (antlers and tail), fashioned with glasses, a distorted/static voice, (of course being a cannibal), etc. However, what contrasted with Alastor was they don’t have a creepy demeanor nor ill intentions. They’re actually a decently nice demon who would visit the hotel to check up on their only brother and chat with everyone.

- @sanctum-of-ramshackle

Meeting Alastors Sibling

Charlie Morning star

• Charlie would be overjoyed to see, let alone find out, that Alastor has a sibling.

•”OH MY GOSH WELCOME I DIDN’T KNOW ALASTOR HAD A SIBLING COME LET ME SHOW YOU AROUND”

•Immediately starts showing you around and telling you about how the hotel works and her dreams of redeeming her people.

•Asking you all sorts of questions relating to you and Alastor, “Who’s older? Did you guys get along? Who’s-“

•Gets cut off my Alastor cause he knows damn well that you’ll start blubbering his secrets.

•Absolutely enthralled with your personality, not everybody down here, let alone a powerful overlord who’s just so… nice and not trying to deceive others.

•Ask you if you want to join the hotel and understands when you decline.

•Gets excited for the next time you visit and waves,hugs,smiles,(a whole song atp) once you leave.

(Alastor now making a plan to keep your yapping mouth shut).

Vaggie

•Does not trust you AT ALL when you first arrive.

•A double of Alastor? No fucking thanks, keep it away, she does not need to deal with that, one is enough.

•Starts sizing you up and asking questions, judging to see if your gonna be a problem just like Alastor.

•Once she sees how nice and unalastory you are, she’ll start to calm down a bit and let her guard down.

•Absolutely baffled that someone like you is even related to Alastor.

•”Did Alastor get dropped on his head and that’s why he’s a bitch and you’re not?”(Yes he’s standing right behind her)

•(Alastor makes sure to keep a close eye on you two after that)

•She’s happy that you get along with everyone at the hotel, a good change of pace around here.

Angel Dust

•Literally does not care at first, so what? Another guest? Alastor’s sibling? Whatever

•When you first stride up to him, he makes his usual sex comments, asking to make a pass at that ass (Alastor glares and he stops relucantly).

•”So, hows it feel to squeeze out of the same tight pussy as freaky face himeself?”

• Thinks your just a mini-version of Alastor, same hair, looks, voice, etc, just throwing Alastor into a duplicator.

•Asks if he can get duplicated too.

•After realizing how nice and sweet you are, he starts to lighten up on the act he uses.

•Still making crude comments, now he’s just making sure a certain somebody isn’t in the room.

•Thinks your just like Charlie and gets himself drunk before conversing.

•(You’re both laughing and playing with fat nuggets after).

[gunraekae]

love transcending time - aka the ikevamp prologue still unnecessarily narrated

>ikemen vampire

>everyone x reader

>a/n: here are chapters 3 and 4 of the prologue. it's about 5k words long, so sit back and relax, and I hope you enjoy. i have some shorter works coming soon!

Chapter III: The Hourglass

Outside the lavish mansion where a puzzling banquet was being hosted was a lush coach stopped just past the grand gates. The coachman turned towards his passenger, a rose-haired man who donned a thousand masks. The man, who sometimes played the part of a king, a prince, a lover, but always in all, a liar. He spoke with the ambiguous tone of someone who could laugh or cry at the next word, “... I apologize my good sir, but I have decided not to stay after all.” He faced away from the cruelly smiling crescent moon to re-enter the coach. 

The baffled coachman asked, “But Monsieur, what about the banquet?” 

The mysterious passenger ominously chuckled in return, “Capricious Fate has invited a guest of fairer mien than mine to take my chair. Hers is centre stage tonight, though I shan’t stay to see how she performs.” His eyes were of opposite colour—the right eye a misty green, the left a bloody red. The coachman shivered at his gaze; this was the first time in their evening he had donned an expression that felt… genuine. And it was genuinely dark. “Let us depart anon.” 

The coachman quickly hurried the vehicle off through the night, while its passenger relaxed into the velvet cushions. With only the laughing moon as his companion, he spoke to her—a bard playing to a lone audience, “O, what upturned expectations have come at the arrival of this new player?” The bard had seen MC but for a spare moment, and yet, he found himself haunted by her vision. “No devil can beguile men to persuasions more than she with an angel’s form. Or be she one of heaven’s messengers behind the horns and wings of temptation?” The coach jolted as it hit a divot in the path, sending the bard’s scripts scrawling to the coach's floor. Visible on the cover was the distinct signature of William Shakespeare. 

“Sebastian, if you would make us a cup of herbal tea? I think anise would be—”

“None for me, it’s okay.” As expected, dinner had ended with none of my questions answered. Le Comte remained true to his promise, however, and invited me to his office for an explanation. Still, my anxieties were left rampant in my head, and I could find no energy inside of me to remain courteous after such an absurd banquet. As Sebastian quietly closed the door to retrieve the tea, Le Comte looked at me with a sympathetic mien. “I just want to know how to get back. My aunt, she must be so worried,” I weakly muttered. 

“I presume you wish to exit through the door back to the Louvre? I’m afraid doing so will be difficult. You see, it only opens under very specific conditions.”

“What conditions?”

“The specifics are difficult to explain.” Le Comte rose from his large mahogany chair and stopped in front of a grand hourglass. It was unusually large and had gold furnishings, the top half full of sand. “The door will open once all the sand in this hourglass has fallen. It’s quite precise and I match that timing with the door’s opening myself.” I don’t like how much sand is in there. And how slowly it’s falling if it even is. 

“... How long does that hourglass run for?” I croaked out in a panic. 

“It takes a month, on average.” A MONTH? 

“Pardon me? I must have misheard,” I laughed in incredulity. I could feel my sanity crumbling between my fingers like the sand in that hourglass. 

“It typically takes a month for all the sand to fall. Doesn’t it, Sebastian?” I didn’t even notice the butler come in with the tray of tea. 

“Yes, M. le Comte. Meaning she will not be able to return for another month.” I squeezed my eyes, hoping this was all some sort of nightmare. 

“We’re in Paris, yes?” I asked in trepidation. There has to be another way to leave. As le Comte sipped his tea, he nodded. 

“I’ll just leave through the front door. How far are we from the Louvre?” No one said I had to leave through that strange door. Why would I need to use that to return? I can just get back to the hotel and apologize to my aunt for being gone for this long. Le Comte picked up a newspaper from his desk and gently placed it on my lap. 

“I’d like you to look at the date.” 

I looked at the date and grew cold. This didn’t feel fake—the news articles, the feel. It was genuine. 

“This is from this morning’s edition. As you’ve no doubt gathered from the date, we’re in the nineteenth century.” 

“There’s no way,” I whispered under my breath. 

Le Comte spoke in the same soothing tone, “We’re in France, but not the one you know. You arrived at this mansion by travelling through time.”

I don’t understand. No words came to my mind. There was not a single statement he said that could be serious. And yet, everything I’ve witnessed so far could attest to what he’s been saying. 

“You look like you’re struggling to believe it.” 

“I’m really quite sorry, you’ve been very kind to me. But there is absolutely no way I’d believe time travel before any number of explanations.” 

“It’s true that a newspaper can be easily faked. Perhaps this will convince you?” Le Comte moved towards a window where an old-fashioned brass telescope was pointed outwards. He gently beckoned me over. 

“What an excellent idea, M. le Comte. Seeing is believing, they say.” Sebastian said. 

“It is our good fortune that, owing to the genius of one of our guests, this telescope provides an excellent view of the city.” I let them guide me to it and peered within. Sure enough, when my vision cleared, the entire view of Paris turned back in time and greeted me. No neon signs. No skyscrapers. No cars. I turned the telescope around, hoping to see any glimpse of a modern city, but only Paris of a hundred years ago was present. Gentlemen in morning coats escorting ladies with bustles. There was no prank elaborate enough to dress an entire city. 

“So I’ve really travelled through time?” I gasped in disbelief. 

“There’s a phrase you use in Japanese. Do you recall it, Sebastian?” 

“Yes, we call it a ‘time slip.’” The name hardly matters, we’re facing the impossible! 

“That door connects to both the past and the present. Like me, you used it to travel here, to the past. You may have read or seen stories about time travel, but in my experience, it is neither a simple nor an everyday occurrence. Time travel has very particular rules. And in this case, you cannot return for the next month.” 

“When the sand in the hourglass falls, can the door take me back?” 

“Yes, when that time comes, either you or I could open the door. Like so, I must also follow the rules. It remains sealed to me for a month as well. If the door hadn’t shut, you could have passed through it exactly the way you came. However, once it’s closed, that passage ceases to exist. And the door requires time before it can open that passageway again.” I could have walked back if the door hadn’t closed. I degraded myself in my head. It was my own stupidity that really got me in this situation. 

“Likewise, all the men you’ve met tonight were gathered here by way of that time slip. That is why people from such diverse times and countries are all here, living in my mansion.” So the men I met at dinner are actually legit? Names from history, famous throughout all the world, transcending time in their glory—and they all live together in this mansion. “I can see you still have some doubts. But I assure you, you’ve just met the real van Gogh, the real Mozart, and the real Napoleon.” If time travel really isn’t out of the question, then I suppose it’s not unreasonable to assume that all these men are the real deal. Still, it’s truly unbelievable. 

“And who are you, Comte, that you were able to collect some of history’s greatest figures to live here in your mansion?” I looked at him, fully admiring his figure. This ineffable gentleman who said that people CALL him Comte de Saint-Germain. 

“I promise I’m not trying to evade your question, but in truth, it’s getting quite late. Please, stay the night. Sebastian will prepare a room. In fact, you’re welcome to stay here for the entire month at no cost. It’s the least I could do to land you in this predicament.” 

“For the night perhaps, but I can’t possibly ask you to welcome me for a whole month,” I fumbled over my words at the Comte’s generous offer. 

“You do realize you can’t return to your time for another month, don’t you?” 

“There’s no need to worry, I can make my own way. I’ve done it all my life.” 

Sebastian regarded me with a severe look, “I believe you’ll find that difficult. This is France at the turn of the century. How do you intend to ‘make your way?’” 

“I-I’m not quite sure yet, but—” He has a point. I knew nothing about this place. I didn’t even know what currency they currently used. But I can’t possibly stay here. There’s something they’re not telling me, but I can’t reveal my suspicions, it’d be rude. “I really don’t want to impose after you’ve been so generous,” I finished. 

“You’re not imposing at all, chèrie.” 

“It’s just that you’re offering me so much and asking for nothing in return.” That’s what scares me the most. 

“Please, take this as my apology. If you’re truly that concerned about it, Sebastian could use a hand around the house. The other residents try to do as much, as well.” 

Now I was faced with two choices. Risk spending a month in a house full of famous, time-travelling figures, who most definitely are hiding a secret. Or make a run for it and face the risks of the nineteenth-century Parisian streets at night. I squeezed my eyes as images of my worried family and friends flashed by. Staying with Le Comte really does seem the safest option right now. I turned towards him with a newfound strength. 

“I accept your gracious offer. Thank you, Comte.” I’ll trust them. For now. 

“I’m pleased we’ve come to an agreement. I wasn’t able to answer all your questions tonight, but we can continue tomorrow if you’d like. I also have something important to tell you, but that too, can wait for the morning.” I looked into those golden eyes that first sold me at the musée, and for the first time this evening, found contentment.

“I look forward to it, Comte.” 

“I will inform the others that you will be staying with us and are to be treated with courtesy. Two of them did not join us tonight, but I expect you’ll have the opportunity to meet them soon.” Even more famous names? Having adapted to my expressions, Le Comte assumed my curiosity. “One is Jean d’Arc.” Joan of Arc? The Maid of Orléans who led the French in the Hundred Years’ War? 

“Finally, another woman,” I sighed in relief, “that’s reassuring.” 

“I’m afraid our Jean is a man, though I can see how you’d make that mistake.” At my baffled expression, he added, “As to that, truth and history have a curious way of becoming distorted in the telling.”

Whispers of the past unheard by anyone but him, haunted the air like the specks of dust that floated in the light. The whispers, often cruelly mocking his soul, rightfully punished his monstrous existence; but tonight, a new voice urged him toward the window. An eyepatch covered the left half of his face, concealed by his long, dark hair. Jean d’Arc was the subject of the crescent moon’s mockery tonight. He watched the moon’s smile morph into a bow, bent to release its message of death, then to a sharp blade mid-slice. 

“La lune se moque de moi ce soir.” His voice became lost within the ghosts’ many whispers, but the moon’s mocking laughter remained. “There’s a curse on this night.” 

“Besides Jean, there is one other who did not join us tonight—” Le Comte was cut off by a dull thump, like something heavy falling against the door. “And that’s probably him. I’m sorry to trouble you, MC, but could you get the door?” He smiled almost knowingly while he gracefully held his cup between his lithe fingers. 

“Alright.” 

I opened the door of Le Comte’s office, expecting a man but encountering none. Warily, I stepped out of the hallway, only to stumble on something heavy. Before I met the floor, I landed on the lap of a large and hunched-over man. While I toiled in humiliation, strong arms tightened around my waist. The sweet scent of cigarillos and amber engulfed me. 

The velvety rumbling voice of the man hummed in confusion, “... never seen you here before.” Looking at him now, there was no way he could be comfortable like that. Is he sleeping? Finally, he cracked an eye open. His wolfish eyes were the colour of burnt gold. His lips formed a smirk as he observed my features with the same attention a sculptor might have given his subject. “Thought I’d wait patiently until you were done. Took so long I fell asleep.” A huge, brown, leather jacket lined with fur served to make his figure even larger, but the rest of his clothing was unmatched and messy, albeit in a charming way. The delicious drawl of his voice made me shiver, but his lupine gaze had me guarded. “So, you’re the one he was talking to?” He asked me a question but no words came to mind. He wasn’t letting go. I wasn’t sure if I even wanted him to. Then, as if waking up from a drowsy stupor, he realized the provocative position we were in. With one hand pushing him up to the ground, and the other supporting my back, we were finally upright. At my wide-eyed expression, he chuckled warmly and murmured an apologetic “scusa” in a deep Italian accent, “Did I surprise you?” 

I nodded wordlessly. 

He hummed again, “heh. Your words. They match the look on your face. How adorable.” His arm lingered around my waist, and at our close proximity, I caught the pleasant aroma of tobacco lingering on his clothes. 

“And here he is. The last of our residents.” Le Comte emerged from his office with a fond sigh. 

“Hmm? Are we introducing ourselves now? I’m Leonardo da Vinci.” 

“Along with Sebastian and myself, nine of these great historical figures reside in this mansion.” Le Comte finally concluded with the introductions. 

Leonardo ran a gloved hand through his brown hair, his voice tinged with that rough, sleepy quality, “I don’t know what happened, but your luck ran out for you to have wound up in a place like this.” 

“W-why would you say that?” 

“Simply put, Cara Mia, I don’t think you’re going to enjoy it here.” 

Chapter IV: Somnum Exterreri

It was not only the residents of the Count’s mansion that relayed the passage of time with the shadow-cleft moon. Ropes of moonlight from the High Gothic windows of the church illuminated the hallways, leaving behind the shadow of a darkly cloaked figure. The innocent humming of an old Romanian lullaby betrayed the blood-eyed creature with the heavy boots traversing the light. The snow-skinned creature gazed at the laughing crescent moon, the light reflected off his softly lucent smile. 

His childlike voice contrasted the vile thoughts that swirled behind his blood eyes, “Though it is doomed to the ugliness of utter obliteration, it remains such a beautiful world.” The man, if he could even be called that, crossed under the nave, where two shadows at the end stood obediently waiting. His eyes remained on the cruel moon, but his words were directed to his companions; they were used to his dream-like antics. “Have you seen it? The crescent moon is so beautiful tonight. Let us look at it together. Faust. Charles.” 

The imposing and brutal figure of a priest cast his cold gaze on the man. A frosty German voice muttered in distaste, “...Hmph. All the time at your disposal and you waste it in folly, Lord Vlad? We should make the church an almshouse if it’s to host the senile.” 

A great contrast to the priest Faust, the syrupy voice of Charles-Henri rose up in defence of their master, “Docteur, le Voïvode wasn’t idle, you know that. He was simply doing his job as a florist.” Charles was luscious candy personified; fluffy locks and innocently dressed with a cherub face and a sinful smile. “I’d love a job like that! So many pretty living flowers that all smell so nice and everyone loves you for what you do.” He turned to his friend, Faust, with a gleaming naïvete, “I want to be loved like that! I want everyone to love me more and more…” 

“You do the word ‘love’ no favours, muttering it constantly like a curse. Hungering for it like a depraved beggar. Then again, you do the very concept no favours, you mercurial nagetier.” 

Charles playfully interjects in a sing-song tone, “We humans need love. We crave it. It’s one of our most moral desires.” 

“Did I hear you say ‘we’ — and ‘human?’” 

The creature the two called ‘Lord Vlad’ hunched over in laughter. 

“Euer Hochgeboren?” Faust asked. 

“...Did something I just said make you laugh?” Charles questioned. 

“I simply remember how easy it is to forget my troubles around you two,” Vlad fondly answered, “then I remember how even the good times are destined to come to an end and I become sad.” 

“You feel sadness?” 

“I do. I feel sadness for the moon in the sky, the flowers in the soil, and the humans who walk between them in ignorance. I want to protect them all so they don’t have to ever feel that way.” 

“You love humans more than anything, don’t you, Voïvode?” Charles giggled. 

“Of course. I love them more than anything.” 

He who felt nothing but love, only love, looked out the window and up to the beloved moon. However, it was not just the moon his depthless blood eyes saw, but something beyond sight. More than human eyes can capture. 

“I’m in love with the world. That’s why as the unwilting flower called a vampire, I must bear this garden into eternity.” The vampire’s confession of love was released into the darkness, a promise that his beloved subjects were unaware of, with only the cruel moon to bear witness. 

Finally, I’m alone. The fluffy white sheets of the bed that Le Comte provided for me enveloped me in their plush embrace. I sank onto the bed in bliss, gaslighting myself into believing this was simply a hotel in present-day Paris, and not a mansion full of history’s greatest figures. I closed my eyes and the image of my worried aunt flashed in my head. I can picture her panicking at the Parisian police and contacting my mother and father. I can see my younger sibling, eyes brimming with tears at the thought that their sister was in danger. My family… My best friend’s face appeared next, her livid voice demanding where I was and why I’d left her. If only this was all a dream. I was willing to accept that I’d travelled back in time with everything I was shown. But the fact that I’d just had dinner with a bunch of time-travelling artists and scientists and musicians? It was harder to believe. I tried to recount everyone I’d met—if they were all truly who they said they were, I’d be damned not to remember. 

Vincent van Gogh, the gentle angel who paints masterpieces.

His brother Theodorus, the enterprising devil that sells them. The brothers were complete opposites, but they seemed incredibly close nonetheless.  

The frivolous playboy, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, who created the beloved character, Sherlock Holmes. 

The indulgent charlatan, Osamu Dazai, who penned “No Longer Human.” They were both attention-grabbing, seemingly overcompensating for a secret they were hiding.

Sir Isaac Newton, who was so shy he couldn’t look me in the eye. He was legendary in name, but his presence seemed so small.

Jean d’Arc, who I haven’t met. I couldn’t even picture what she’d—he’d be like.

“Heh. Your words, they match the look on your face. That’s rare.” The dulcet voice of Leonardo da Vinci made me lose myself so easily, but what did his last words mean?

“...As if the banquet wasn’t bad enough.” Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, who made the most beautiful music but had the most rotten attitude. 

And of course, my saviour, Napoleon Bonaparte. The one who tried so hard to rescue me, and protected me until the very end. But what was he protecting me from? 

I couldn’t picture any of them trying to fool me, and honestly, they all seemed so earnest. Besides, what would any of them gain from lying to me? I wasn’t anyone influential or wealthy; there would be no benefit to keeping me here. Having realized all of that, the reality of my situation finally came into perspective. All of this is real. 

“I need to stop thinking,” I muttered to myself. Even though it was midday for me, the crescent moon outside my window brought a wave of drowsiness over my body. I slipped off my jacket and kicked off my shoes across the room. My foolish outfit, what was all of this for? I think back to this morning when I was getting ready in front of my vanity in the hotel with my aunt—joking between ourselves. It wasn’t so long ago and yet everything was so different now. My room had an ornate little vanity by the window, with a mirror that had engravings around it and empty drawers underneath. I sat before it and saw my reflection—my makeup was the same as before, but my face looked as if I’d aged ten years from exhaustion. The glint of my amethyst earrings caught my attention; these stupid earrings that got me in this predicament. Le Comte’s golden eyes flashed in my head—those depthless glinting eyes that I could get lost so easily in. Removing them from my ears, I threw them down on the vanity and stalked towards the bed, my bed now, I suppose. Not even a minute in, the heavy embrace of sleep wrapped around me and pressed me down on the bed. 

The soft crumple of the thick duvet woke me up. Blinking open my eyes, the bleariness showed me the crescent moon beaming down on my room, stretching the shadows. I thought nothing of it until I heard the creak of the bed frame. What the hell? Every drop of blood in my body turned ice cold. Someone else was in the room with me. And they were on the bed. 

“W-who’s there?” 

“...”

My eyes cleared and showed the shadowed figure crawling from the foot of my bed. It isn’t safe here at all. I lurched upright, but the figure shoved me back down on the sheets. They crawled on top of me, the heavy figure pushing down my arms away from my body. I was fully trapped. 

“Stop!”

“Don’t move.” Their whisper felt like a serpent slithering up my body. Their breath was in my ear. They stopped, and for a few seconds, I wondered if I could force it off of me. Suddenly, sharp teeth sank into my neck. 

A pain unlike any other surged from my neck throughout my entire body. And then, the pain quickly subsided and turned into something indescribable. It’s so… hot. My limbs felt like lead; as if they weren’t my own anymore. Heat flickered across my vision like the fading of a desert mirage. Each warm breath that billowed over my neck made the heat even stronger. A strange longing manifested inside of me, the same emotion I felt when I looked into Le Comte and Leonardo’s eyes. It felt intoxicating. I tried to scream, but instead, a groan laden with ecstasy sounded out. I felt the heat in my core, a slow throbbing pulse that edged me further into blind pleasure. I need to snap out of it! I struggled to open my eyes, which had been rolling back in bliss. Dark red rose petals strung around my bed, snapping me out of my stupor. These weren’t rose petals… They came from me. Blood… That’s my blood! The sight sent my head spinning, but before I lost myself in the void, I heard the figure’s voice. 

“I want it all. Your body, your heart… and your destiny.” NO!

I scrambled out of bed, furiously grasping at my neck. No blood on my fingers, no puncture wound on my neck. My gaze wildly darted around the room. Empty. No shadowed figure. No one who bit me. 

“There’s no one here,” I cried out in relief. That felt too real. My fingers shook as they clutched the sheets. I was shivering. My throat was dry from sleep. My mouth felt balmy, and when I tried to move, everything felt heavy. I need water. 

Though it was difficult to navigate, I retraced the steps I took from the room to Le Comte’s office, and eventually to the kitchen. There were electric lamps that illuminated the room. Sebastian was still up, washing the dishes. After that nightmare, the sight of him almost brought me relief. My footsteps caught his attention, and he turned around.

“Is something the matter?” He asked in concern. Perhaps my appearance exemplified how I felt. 

“Could I bother you for some water?” Sebastian quickly poured me a glass. He guided me to a small table and sat me down, taking the chair beside me. His inquisitive glance obliged me to share my problem. He listened patiently as I recounted my nightmare, leaving out the more inappropriate aspects. “There was someone in my dream,” I began. I told him how this figure was and how he held me down to bite my neck. “...sort of like a vampire would,” I finished. Having confided in someone else alleviated the heaviness in my head. In fact, the more I told him about the dream, the sillier I felt. “Dreams can feel so real at the moment, but talking about them afterwards shows you how absurd they can be,” I chuckled humourlessly. Sebastian didn’t indulge in my laughter. Instead, he seemed quiet in thought. I grew worried he thought I was prattling on. “Anyway, thank you for listening to my silly dream. I hope you don’t find me childish for dreaming about vampires.”

“I don’t find you crazy, nor do I believe it was just a silly dream,” Sebastian unexpectedly replied. My brows furrowed. “Indeed, it’s a good sign.”

“How is my bad dream a good sign?” 

“I believe you saw that dream because you’re here in this mansion.” 

“I’m sorry, I’m not sure I understand.”

“The dream serves as a warning… That you are to give them neither your body nor your heart.” A pang of unease hit me. This must be the foreboding feeling I had earlier. This must be the reason why even the kindest residents seemed to be hiding a terrible secret. 

“The residents of this mansion, everyone you’ve met tonight…” 

“No,” I whispered under my breath.

“They are exactly what you saw in your dream. They are all vampires.” 

[luminouslywriting]

no thoughts just John Brady being a dilf….

he’s the man in church who all the women point to and say to their husbands why can’t you be more like him

Nonny. You're so right. And it's giving Nathan Scott from One Tree Hill okay??

Listen?? John Brady?? This man right here?

He is the man who makes parenting look effortless, even to his wife. Never loses his temper with the kids, he's happy to walk around with a baby sling. Hell, if he could carry the baby weight for his wife, he would. But seeing as he can't, he will do whatever it takes to make her happy.

He's the type of man who rolls up to Church with all of the kid's hair done, looking like little angels, and keeps them all in line and happy. And everyone's thinking "Mrs. Brady must be busy with all of those kids."

And yes....yes she is. But John Brady gets home from work and immediately gets to work being a husband and a father. His work doesn't end just because the work day is over. He joyfully helps his children with homework and helps them learn how to read. One of them scraped their knee earlier? He's kissing it better and tucking them in at night. His wife is low on sleep? He has work in the morning? He's up with the baby and making sure that his wife gets the rest that she needs. He joyfully takes the time to hear about everyone's day and makes sure that the kids all know that Mama Brady comes first in his life—the kids all come second, though he adores them.

And Mrs. Brady? You'd think she'd be tired of being pregnant, but the orgasms alone keep her going haha. Every night she is getting pampered and he is taking graciously good care of her because she is his world and that's just a fact. She's so relaxed at Church that it unnerves everyone else, because they have HOW MANY CHILDREN?? How is she this calm? It's the orgasms and the sex and the body worship—and the fact that John Brady is superman when it comes to his family.

He's so entirely pleased when he gets to hold the baby in Church because Mrs. Brady is a little busy with their toddler who fell and hit their head. He's happy to carry her bag and help her into the car. He's happy to spend his summer days playing in the backyard with the kids and everyone is just baffled by the way that he is just so miraculously happy with his family. Because surely, no family is perfect.

Which is not to say that his family life doesn't have its stresses and its trials, because obviously everyone does. But he's so blessed and happy to have a wife and kids and it's the life he's always wanted, so of COURSE he's going to treat them as though they're his entire world. Because they are.

[alice-after-dark]

I've Actually Thought About This...

Inspired by this reblog from @lovethatmakingcoffee (original artist is @paprikaries), I've actually considered this for a while and I have some thoughts about why Vox needed to have Sir Pentious hide a camera in the hotel.

(Just for clarification, I do understand that the comic is meant to be silly and all in good fun, it just got my wheels turning)

So the first point is the television in the hotel. It definitely looks old, so it's possible it's too outdated for him to connect to, however, I think there's another reason entirely. Every time we have seen Vox interact with a TV screen, he appears on it. TVs don't have cameras. They only display. So while Vox could in theory connect to the TV and watch the hotel that way, he'd only be able to do it while literally making everyone aware that he was watching them.

As for the phone thing...well...we don't actually know if Vox can connect through phones. The fandom, myself included, has assumed he can because phones have cameras and screens and use electricity, but we have never actually seen him interact with a phone using his powers. Even the call from Velvette is from his head, not his phone. And when he talks to Sir Pentious, Pentious is using a V-Watch, not a phone, which I do get is supposed to be a play on smart watches, but I did look it up and smart watches have extremely limited video capabilities, meaning the V-Watch is most likely exclusively designed for video calls. It's also very clear from the angle we see Vox at that he himself is not using a V-Watch. He's probably using one of his usual computer monitors. Honestly, when it comes down to it, I think phones would work the same way as a TV. He'd appear on the screen. The big thing about video cameras is that they are, by design, one-way devices. He can watch without being seen.

As for the logo thing...I've said this in another post, but the logo actually doesn't mean much in hindsight. Like, imagine finding a hidden camera in your room, looking at the brand, and going "ah hah! They are clearly the ones stalking me!" instead of thinking someone, oh I don't know, purchased said camera from the brand? It's one of those writing points that honestly baffles me. Vox is probably the biggest producer of tech in Hell. It's really not a surprise it would be one of his cameras. Angel Dust really jumped to conclusions assuming the Vees were behind the spying. Yes, he was right, because that's how the writing wanted it to go, but he kind of had no reason to draw the conclusion he did so quickly.

[maopll]

May I request Lucifer, Mammon, Satan, and Diavolo with a confectioner reader?

SWEET TREATS !

| obey me!

⌗:, a/n: first obey me req! I love any ask which has something to do with sweets. thanks for giving diavolo though I love this himbo.

⌗:, warning: fluff only

⌗:, pairings: lucifer, mammon, satan & diavolo w/ gn!confectioner!reader (separately)

,,baking sweets have been running in your family since. your friends, teachers, and neighbours all have complemented that your sweets taste like the celestial realm and...they were not joking,,

LUCIFER was once again overworking himself so to help him get through those stacks of paperwork you prepared some tea and biscuits. you kept those at a place where he could reach.

He was a bit hungry that moment since he had been overworking non-stop so it was like a midnight snack at this point even if the tea had grown cold. Once he tasted those however, he thought 'they taste good' but when he tried to grab for more he was met with empty plate because he basically ravaged the plate without thinking that he had been binge eating. he was going to ask you where you found those biscuits from and he was amazed to hear that you baked those. you truly have some worthy talents thus the reason why you belong in the house of lamentation. he had to admit that those felt like the baked goodies he found in the celestial realm back when he was still an angel. but now that he has you he can always ask you for more. but for rigjt now he is not going to get more cause according to you Beel ate them. you can always make more for your overworked luci :)

MAMMON and you were inside the kitchen while he was talking about the happenings of the week while you were preparing some lunch for everyone because the next day was school. everyone had mostly the same but he had fee sweets because he is your favourite dumb lover

he did see you put some sweets and he had that pikachu meme face. he was BAFFLED hearing that you can bake. WELL that's the very reason why you are his human. Make more for him he loves your cooking he just can't get enough. especially those croissants that you make. Before he really didn't like human world cooking but yours can be an exception. Your cakes, crackers and other baked foods tasted like the ones Michael and Lucifer used to make for him when he was a kid and would always annoy his brother to make more because 'I am hungry!'. You saw how mammon's eyes were a little dazed and heard him chuckle a little. looks like he's remembering those good memories.

DIAVOLO was sitting in his office taking care of the ministrations of devildom at large and the paperwork of RAD. he had been doing it and the heaps of paper just never seem to end and while you did know that he would be working at the very moment thanks to a certain butler. so you gave the cake you made for him and some tea and asked Barbatos to serve it to him because you didn't want to disturb him when he's busy and he would definitely ditch the paperwork to just talk to you

He was still doing his paperwork when Barbatos came with some tea and cake. He thought he had made them so with a simple 'thank you' he had him leaving the room to take care of other works. After a while, when he was finally going to eat those, he felt like he ascended to the heavens. he swore he saw some white pearly gate with trumpets. How did these taste so good? he has had enough of Barbatos's food that he should know their taste by now, so how did these taste so different and so...delicious? on inquiring barbatos, he found out you made it and asked him to serve it to him. Now he was running to his phone just to ask you to come here. he can't thank you enough for giving him foods that give him more energy! he knew it was the right idea to bring you in as the exchange student since you were basically good at everything! Well now since you have shown your talents he will NOT hesitate to shamelessly ask you to bring some more. he loves you <3

SATAN here was making food for asmo because he demanded that one food that was all the rage in devilgram but he didn't get to eat and only Satan was the one who had it. since he knew how it tasted he should be the one to make it right? so here he is baking some raindrop cake

He reluctantly agreed because if he didn't do it he would constantly annoy him and that would just fuel his anger more. so he begrudgingly decided to listen to his whims. He was kinda frustrated because one, he just brought a new book about cats and he has been wanting to read it for so long and two, he can't get this thing in the right shape either and it's just been a hard journey all along. He was thinking of blasting away the kitchen but he held together what little piece he had of his patience and thank god you arrived at the right moment. please help him dude can't figure out anything.

He had been sitting across you while you baked and he gave instructions but he didn't think so you would actually be able to bake that??? he gotta admit he underestimated you and your decorations on top and the taste of it was immaculate. he was craving for more but that was for asmo and he really went ahead and asked without thinking "can I have more" and he was blushing hard because he just spitted out his inner thoughts. he was met with cackles from you but you will always make him some more if he wants all he needs to do is just ask !

[excelsi-or]

summoned (epilogue: pt. 16)

pairing: woozi x fem!reader/fem!OC

w.c. 1.8k (just a little fluff to end of this series)

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9 | part 10 | part 11 | part 12 | part 13 | part 14 | part 15 | part 16

EPILOGUE

The evening of the end of the world, the angels and demons drop the humans off at Hansol’s apartment.

As soon as Seungkwan sees them, he says, “That’s it. We’re having a dinner party.”

She doesn’t have the energy to argue. She even takes the beer that Hansol offers.

That sets Seungkwan off even more, and the storm turns into a whirlwind.

“Seokmin and Jihoon can’t come.”

“They can’t? Why not? You and Jihoon have been tied at the hip since we met him.”

“Uh…” She meets Hansol’s eye as he returns from his bedroom with a change of clothes. “How much do we share?”

Seungkwan cuts Hansol off before he can even open his mouth. “You smell like smoke, your dress is burnt, Hansol is ravenous and not eating leftovers. Something’s happened. Do I need to add that the sky was bright red? I was about to try to get home to my family because I thought that the world was ending. But now, all of a sudden, it’s fine.”

Hansol takes her by the shoulders and guides her towards the bathroom. “You go shower. I’ll deal with Seungkwan until everyone comes over. Gives you time to decide if you want to share.” 

“You’re honestly the best. The best best friend ever.”

Hansol clucks his tongue. “You’re welcome, Antichrist. Go shower.”

As she’s about to close the door, she tells him she isn’t the Antichrist anymore.

“How can you suddenly just not be it anymore?”

She shrugs. “My mom explained it, like, since the world didn’t end with me as it was supposed to, there’ll be another Antichrist.”

“So, now you’re just… you’re just human?”

She nods.

“And your parents?”

“Well, for foiling the Great Plan or whatever they call it, no go. Dad doesn’t get his soul back. Mom didn’t really have hope anyway.” There’s a quiver in her voice that Hansol hasn’t heard in a while.

“Oh.” Hansol pushes his way into the bathroom to wrap his arms around her. “I didn’t know. I’m sorry it didn’t work out.” He pretends as if he can’t feel the tears against his neck. He isn’t quite sure what it means that they don’t get their souls back. He’s still baffled that his best friend was, but is no longer, the Antichrist.

When she pulls away, he can’t tell that she’d been crying. “They have human lives to live, and I get to keep my soul. Apparently, that’s worth it to them.”

“Have you told them about your demon boyfriend?”

“Jihoon said he’s going home,” she says. “Nothing here to entertain him anymore.”

“Hansol-ah! I need you to peel the vegetables!” Seungkwan calls.

A few days after the end of the world, with Jeonghan and Seungcheol’s wedding to now plan for (they heard it could’ve been the end of the world and decided they were getting married ASAP), she isn’t expecting to walk up to her apartment door and not have a door to open.

Annoyed, she pats the wall in the general area where her doorknob should be.

“If this demon also fucking locked my door, he’s being kicked out,” she mutters as her hand finds the knob.

Luckily for the demon, it’s unlocked.

From her doorway, she can see him stretched out on her couch in sweatpants and his favourite red hoodie, a book hovering over his head.

“You said you were going home.”

The book lowers slightly so he can see her, unfazed by her lack of greeting. “I did.”

“So, what are you doing here?”

“Hanging out.”

“Okay, but where’s the human who summoned you?”

“There isn’t one.” Jihoon sets the book down: The Alchemist. Definitely not hers. “I just came to see you.”

This causes her to pause. “Me.”

Jihoon shrugs. “Earth’s a little more interesting right now. Seokmin’s right. More fun when there’s less plague and more technology. The food’s a little weird, and art seems to have gone to shit, but—”

She chuckles as she drops her things by the door and sits on the couch next to him. “You can just say you missed me. How long are you staying?”

“Your whole life, actually.”

“What?”

“Yeah.” Jihoon stretches his legs out for the coffee table. “Seokmin and I may have played some tricks. And I may be the coolest demon in existence this millennium.”

“What do you mean?”

“I had a holy water bath and didn’t die. Freaked the other demons out. Satan’s not punishing me for messing with the Antichrist. I’m yours for now.”

“You’re telling me that you’re going to stay with me for the rest of my life. How am I going to get married and have a family?”

“I thought me saying I was staying for the rest of your life was essentially me asking you to marry me.”

It feels as if those words smack her right in the face. The anxious person in her starts panicking at M-A-R-R-I-A-G-E. A few minutes of reeling her brain back from panic helps her see that Jihoon’s just offering what demons think is human commitment. 

“It sounds like you’re intending to be a nuisance,” she finally says.

“I also forgot to mention I’m not really a demon anymore.”

“I didn’t know that was something you could just give back.” The anxiety is fighting with excitement. Because Jihoon is saying all the right words. 

So, she gets up to make tea just to keep her hands busy. And so she doesn’t have to sit so close to Jihoon.

She’s been so used to knowing everything and being one step ahead. Now, that she really is just a human, she’s realizing that the unexpected is extremely uncomfortable.

Jihoon trails after her. “So, maybe I made some deals with the Devil to be here. But nothing that you need to be concerned about.”

She squints at him. “What exactly are you proposing?”

Jihoon rolls his eyes. “That I stay here. With you. Live your life with you.”

“I want children one day.”

Jihoon shrugs. “That can be arranged.”

“With a partner.”

He motions down his body. “I’ve arranged that already.”

“By assuming that I’d agree to this.”

Jihoon tips his head, his eyes flicking from cat-like and back again. “Do you not want this?”

She rests her hip against the counter, processing her feelings. “You’re telling me that you want to be my life partner. Are willing to have children. But have you considered that I’ll get old and age? You’re not going to leave me for naught?”

“If you gave me your soul in exchange for not getting old, that could be arranged.”

“Absolutely not. I’m human. And I intend to stay that way.”

This makes Jihoon smile. “And that’s why I’m staying. Because you’re human.”

“You hate humans.”

“I like you. And maybe Hansol. Your other friends are tolerable.”

She holds her hand up in the air between them.

“What?”

She nods her head at her hand.

Frowning, he lifts his hand to mirror her.

“Oh, you stupid—” She crosses the kitchen to press her palm against his, notices that he’s warm but not burning. “I can touch you.” Her fingers settle between the spaces between his. “Why can I touch you?”

“Are you not listening to me?” he chuckles. That would normally be annoying, but he now finds her incredibly endearing. It helps that she’s definitely not the Antichrist. “I told you I made deals with the devil.” Jihoon’s eyes don’t leave hers as he kisses the back of her hand. “So, what are you thinking, human?”

“That you still haven’t answered the question about what happens when I age.” She notices his confused expression. “Jihoon.” The use of his chosen human name causes him to warm even more; she can feel it in his hand. “As good-hearted as your intentions might be, and having grown up with a demon for a mother, I can’t grow attached to you knowing you’ll disappear when you realize I’m not what you want anymore.”

“I’ve been human before,” he whispers. Her eyes widen slightly at the admission. She doesn’t personally know any demons that were once human. Her mother says they exist, but most of the ones she’s met have been fallen angels.

Her mind is whirring at what that’s meant for the life he’s lived. And makes her want to analyze every decision he’s made in her presence.

But Jihoon doesn’t give her much time to process it. They have a lifetime together for her to learn that. “I know what the stakes are by offering you this.”

“And you still want to stay? I thought we were only in agreement that we please each other well.”

“And I enjoy your company. More than anyone else—human, demon, or angel—that I’ve met.”

“Even when I can’t please you physically anymore,” she states.

Jihoon studies her face, can picture the way it’ll age, has deliberated heavily about whether he can watch her die. “I have a feeling that you’ll find other ways to be entertaining.”

She scoffs in disbelief, charmed and also scared.

“I may also be aware of the fact that Seokmin is intending to stick around for your lifetime. Your friends’ as well. I won’t be lonely.”

“He knows you’re staying.”

“He knew I was considering it. He told me that I’m the only one who can make the decision. And that you’d have to accept me anyway for it to be real.”

“Couples fight.”

“We’ve butt heads quite a lot in the time we’ve known each other.”

“I’m pretty physically intimate.”

“Good. I like that.” 

She wonders what else she could say that would make Jihoon re-evaluate. “I’m really insecure.”

Jihoon’s eyes flicker. “I can deal with that.”

“You’ll be expected to come to Seungcheol and Jeonghan’s wedding then.”

The corners of his mouth downturn slightly, but he agrees to that too.

Before leaning into him, as he seems to desperately want her to do, she says, “As soon as you even think about double crossing me, or mess with my mind even slightly, you’re gone, okay?” She elaborates further. “I need to trust that you’re with me, because you like me. Not because I can be manipulated because I’m human and touch you well.”

Jihoon chuckles and nods. “Got it, human.” He doesn’t tell her that as soon as she tells him to leave, his contract is over, and he’s gone. Maybe one day, but not right now.

“Now, will you please kiss me and stop worrying about a future that’s still so far away?”

“In your lifetime, it’s nothing,” she reminds him.

Jihoon shrugs. “Sure, but for you, it’s long.”

She rolls her eyes. He’s the one who closes the distance between them, one hand slipping under her shirt to rest on the skin of her hip. It’s a pleasant warmth.

“I’m happy for you to stay,” she says as his lips brush hers. “Even if I didn’t summon you this time.”

Jihoon laughs, pecking her lips again and again. “It would actually be a more difficult existence for both of us if you had.”

There’re fluttering nerves in her stomach that some of his words have calmed but not all. And he’s unlikely able to soothe every fear she has about this, but she asks anyway. “Is it okay if we go slow?”

“What do you mean?”

His thumb rubbing back and forth on her hip is distracting. She rests a hand over his to stop him. “Slow. To get used to this. I brought you here with different intentions. I fell for you by accident. Everything that’s happened afterwards is not something I’ve had time to process.” Her gaze glances at him and then away. “Is that okay?”

Jihoon hums, not used to her bashfulness. “Hey.”

She meets his gaze.

“I get to be human for a little while because of you. Whatever you want.”

“Really?”

Jihoon nods. “I’m a reasonable demon, as you know.”

“You were a pain in my ass when I summoned you.”

“I can be a reasonable pain in the ass.”

She sighs. “Okay.” She pulls him closer. “I’m in.”

hello!!! another story down.

this story is very conflicting for me. i was so excited about it when i was writing it and editing it. and then while i was posting it, something about it wasn't speaking to me anymore.

don't get me wrong. i love how this story turned out. but i wrote the first draft of this, i think, almost two years ago now. i'm a different person, a different writer, and a different reader too.

so, i think my unattachment to it is because it doesn't fully represent me as a writer anymore.

but for everyone who's read this/will read this, i hope you enjoyed it! i hope you're around when i return, because i will be going on a proper hiatus probably until the summer next year. need to write more stories (some original projects & some fanfic). i'll pop back in and out when i feel like it, but for now, this is farewell!!

if you wanna follow my creative journey (not just my woozi fanfics), i'm an-artthief on Tumblr too. posting some updates on a few original works i'm working on and reblogging some art and things that i enjoy. :)

happy holidays everyone! and if i don't post again before the end of the year, happy 2024 too! xx

[ssahotchnerr]

hi, lovely? angel? loml? your little blurbs and writings have me giggling and kicking my feet and blushing at my phone 🥹🥰

i was just thinking about something and thought maybe you’d write about it? so, i’ve been thinking about how hotch (a lot of the time, when they’re not briefing about a case) will sit in his own little area of the jet, separate from everyone else - and he’d be so baffled when you’d start to sit across from him. because there he is, sitting underneath a mountain of paperwork, and you’re seemingly content just to bask in his company. and after a while, he’d ask you about it, and you’d say smth about how after a case, it’s calming to just be around him. he exudes safety and security in a way the others don’t for you - mainly because their nerves, their stresses are so easy to read - and if you’re ever to get any sleep, it’d be to the sound of rustling papers, to hotch’s pen jotting down reports, the typing of his keyboard, just being comforted by his presence !! (i don’t know about you, but there’s smth so calming about being lulled to sleep by the sounds of an ambiance like that) and maybe, he’d offer for you to sit next to him, to lean your head on his shoulder and try and get some rest 🥺🥺🥺🥺 because he’s a sweetheart <33

aw aw aw omg 🥹🥰🫶🏻😭 ily???? thank you so so much that means absolutely everything to me <33333

the way it breaks my HEART whenever we see him sitting alone on the jet 😭 like do you think he thinks that no one simply wants to talk to him??🥺 everyone's making conversations amongst themselves and he's just 🙁 working quietly. maybe it's just an excuse to look busy, so no one feels like they need to include him if they don't want to :(((( that everyone views him on a professional level rather than personal?? ughgjhsh 😭💔 like no no no aaron baby just no no no we love you <333 😭

AND you know me normally i elaborate right away, BUT hehe this may or may not already be in the works for my secret santa fic 🤭 stay tuned!!!!!!

[dawnwynters]

~~WIP Wednesday~~

So, first WIP. Trying this tumblr thing out. Hope you enjoy? (I'm so damn awkward)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WIP (Working) Title: Feelings

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She easily found Juvia and Lisanna, hugging them both and telling them she was heading home because she really didn’t want to stay at the party if Dan was there and constantly trying to get under her skin. “We’ll talk soon, I promise.” She kissed both of their cheeks before she headed towards the door, her dreams of a peaceful escape shattering as Dan blocked her path.

“Lucy! I don’t believe you’ve met my Angel.” He grinned at her, his eyes slowly moving down her body despite the woman in his arm. “She’s a reporter, too. She works for the Magnolia branch of the National Paper. She covers the big stories as they happen. So much better than covering small time, fluff stuff, right?”

Lucy gave the white-haired woman a genuine smile despite the barbs in her heart at Dan’s well aimed dig. “That’s amazing. But, if you excuse me, I was just-“

“Angel also lives in his amazing penthouse!” Dan grinned maliciously at her, not realizing the frown on Angel’s face as she caught on to what he was doing. “She also models on the side. She has the best fucking body I’ve ever seen.”

Lucy kept her face neutral, trying not to take his words to heart even as they stung because she took pride in her looks. “I’m happy for you, Dan. But, really, I was just-“

“There you are,” Natsu slid up beside Lucy, his arm curling around her waist as he pulled her against his body. “Bedroom’s the other way.”

Lucy’s eyes widened just a fraction as she noticed Natsu was now shirtless, his belt was unbuckled, and pants were undone. “Wh-“

“Ya promised I could lick whipped cream off ya in celebration, Luce.” He purred the words, holding up a can of spray whipped cream as his eyes locked on hers, silently telling her to go with it. “I’ve been dreaming about it all night, baby.”

“S-Sorry,” She stumbled out, her hands resting on his bare chest as she decided to go with it despite how mortified she was. “I was heading out to grab something.”

“Mmm, don’t worry, baby. I got everything we need in the room.” He held the can up. “Wanna open that pretty little mouth of yours for me?” He was completely ignoring the stunned looks from everyone around them, giving Lucy his undivided attention and grinning when she opened her mouth almost instantly. “Good girl.” He sprayed some of the whipped cream in her mouth, pulling back just enough to have some drop on her collarbone. “Oops.”

Lucy’s fingers lightly dug into his chest as she watched him duck his head down, his tongue sliding across her collarbone and up her neck until his lips were at her ear.

“Put your legs around my waist. Trust me.” He whispered, lifting her up and smirking when she did as he told her to. “Let’s go. I’m ready for my reward.” He carried her off to one of the bedrooms, not bothering to look at anyone as they left. “Sorry.” He muttered, setting her gently down on the bed before stepping back and fixing his pants. “You looked so hurt and uncomfortable.”

She stared at him, her eyes wide and her face bright red as she watched him pull his shirt back on. “S-So your solution was to do-“ She gestured helplessly. “That?”

He chuckled as he started pulling his socks and boots back on. “Yeah. Because he’s trying to hurt you because he knows you’re still single and he thinks the more he bugs you, the quicker you’ll go back to him. I just made sure he knew you had moved on.” He glanced at her as he tied the laces on his boot. “Everyone was just watching. They all knew what he was doing and no one fucking did anything. It pissed me off. You don’t deserve that.” He rubbed the back of his neck, a little embarrassed. “I just wanted to get ya out of there and save your pride at the same time.”

She stared at him, completely baffled by his sudden mood change. “Th-Thanks.” She whispered, looking away as she tried to calm her racing heart down. “So do we just sit here and wait an appropriate amount of time before leaving?”

“Nah,” He smirked and moved to the window, shoving it up and showing her the fire escape. “Why don't you let me walk ya home?” He held his hand out to her. “I promise after we get on the ground, I’ll keep my hands and mouth to myself.” He winked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[simple-seranade]

back when i was into dreamsmp, i was a huge quackity fan. i was a c! quackity apologist, was team SWAG2020, and he was probably one of my favorite characters. to this day i still find his arc fascinating and enjoy his content

now with all this in mind, let me tell you

VOTE JOE HILLS

sure, quackity has sexyman potential, but it’s just that- potential. his arc took more of a turn for the tragic, corrupted hero, all of his own design. his character is working up from his pathetic mess into something he would have admired while also becoming someone he never wanted to be. which, like i said, is fascinating

but joe? joe is indescribable. he’s utterly baffling, confuses everyone around him. he has the cryptid part down, he has a love for the arts, he has written fanfiction and guides to writing fanfiction. he is campaigning on linkedin. he’s a biblically accurate angel compressed into a beanpole of a man with lime green glasses. this man is perfect tumblr sexyman material.

so do what’s right for quackity’s character arc and give it the respect it deserves by voting joe hills

[tenok]

The point (one of them) is that both Aziraphale and Crowley actually think they the smartest one in any given situation. And since I relate to Aziraphale much more today I get fixated on his brand of superiority. He starts his journey with rebellion from pretty tame "I don't get why they makes this desisions and it's look horrible on surface evel but I'm sure that they get best ineterests of everyone involved in their hearts and it's probably me the one that didn't get some oblivious detail" to "oh okay I'm sure it's some kind of misundestanding and we can all talk it out as adults because we there work on same goals" to frustrated "they won't ever listen to me and I will get in trouble for arguing and it will be better for everyone if I will make my desisions in secret and go behind their backs because I just can't let THEM make desisions that will destroy everything". It's not straightforward, I'm 30 and still circulate sometimes between "what if it's me the one that wrong aout everything" and "god HOW people can be THAT stupid", but I remember going throught this stages first as good and obedient kid with really stupid parents making stupid desisions and later with school, govermnet, activist spaces etc.

And the problem is, I was the smartest person in the room enough time to develop issues, and Aziraphale lives like his for 6000 years at least. I can only imagine how many times he thought "if only Starmaker listen to me and didn't Fall", "if only God listened to me and didn't make an Apocalypse happen", "if only Heavens listened to me and didn't did this or that that thing", "if only Crowley listen to me and understand in what kind of danger we can get", "if only that human listened to me and haven't dig the body", etc etc. It's awful, to be the one who always gets to say "I told you so", especially when there's such awful consequenses you can't even feel satisfaction, and you will be the one to clen this mess up (and Aziraphae will clean, or better try to prevent). Now, it's of course leads to issues. BIG issues.

1) It's really hard to stop being plotting and maciavellian and communicate things properly when you expect that person will at best argue with you, at worst punish you and double down on their stupid desisons and you will clean this mess up. It also really hard to stop trying to control everything because you already accepted that everything is your responsibility and everyone else would just make things worse. (as someone that relates to Aziraphale I think he did so much progress there, the levels or trust he shows Crowley are amazing for two beings that probably last time heard of psychotherapy when Freud was alive. but such trust is fragile thing, one misstep and you back on your "it will be better if I do everything alone" bullshit. I'm not saying it's good. I'm also not saying that it's bad. it's just how things work)

2) It makes you overstep other people authonomy, because, again, it would be better for everyone if they did what you think best for them. It works funny wih Aziraphale because yes he's all for free choices for humanity!! NOW GO AND DO SMART CHOICES DAMN YOU!!! WHY YOU DON'T PICK THE THING THAT WOULD BE SMART TO PICK I HATE YOU ALL. That's where me and Aziraphale difer a little because at least I somewhat good at stepping into other people shoes and understand why they do what they do. But angel there is autistic (or bad at this specific thing for other reasons), so I think when people he consider reasonable doesn't agree with him for their own reasons he ge's really baffled, like, there arE correct opinion and it's mine, WHY are you being difficult?? to spite me?? And I'm sure that half of the reason why Aziraphale's so comfortable with Crowley is that he perfectly happy to let him buly or manipulate him into doing things Aziraphale picks as right. Usually Crowley know where pick his battles and how to play long game to make Aziraphale agree for really important stuff he wants from him, but otherwise? Sure he will complain how he hates Hamlet but they will watch Hamlet, and Aziraphale will be very pleased with himself. (and than there goes final fifteen and we back at "but WHY won't ypu agree with thing I pick or us IT'S GOOD AND RESONABLE THING" and we should be happy that consent is something that imporant for our angel ok? he would be angry with Crowley for picking wrong but he won't make him do what he doesn't want. they respect each other like that.)

3) It makes you really really tired and tense. You control everything, unfortunately the longer you do it the more things starts really depedend on you, you can't let go, you don't know anyone that can share this burden with you because first they should prove that they won't blow his up and for this you should share at least something with them, but what is they would blow it up? Better be safe than sorry. And look when it's my problems it's credit cards and doctor appointmens and with Aziraphale we talk about people dying. Crowley dying. Now, as I said, he actually shows Crowley so. much. trust. for someone with such issues. Because Crowley was there for 6000 years, and he proved himself capable enough times. But still there's areas where let go and not worry would be impossible for Aziraphale, Crowley's safety being one of such things (you see, you can risk with your life when you deal with your problems because whatever you will clean shit up if needed, but if someone close to you hurt themself?? it's YOUR problem too but it will be SO MUCH HARDER to clean. I think when Aziraphale points to Crowley that hell would be harder on him than he can expect heavens to punish him, it's partially because he believes it's true and partially because he knows how to minimize harm when heavens angry with him but HOW can he do this for Crowley??). Anyway. Lol. The more I think about it the more I sure that Crowley without Aziraphale would be a miserable angry dick, and Aziraphale wihout Crowley would be dead, because it was the one person that kept him one tiny slip away from total burn out.

So yeah there's a lot of posts about how angry heartbroken etc Crowley will be with Aziraphale (I don't agree but that's for other post), less posts about how sad and heartbroken will be Aziraphale, but I hope to see Azyraphale being angry too (it they will be angry with each other at all). Not only for not picking him or leaving or making everything messy and emotional and wasting their first kiss at their fight etc, but also because Aziraphale was trusting him! Trusting that he get another resonable adult in team with him! Someone who he can trust to make resonable desisions and see his ideas as clever and him as capable and being willing to go to the end of the world with him with mild complaints and than!! When he did trust him to understand!! He was like everyone else!! Unresonable and emotional and angry with him and why he asked him at all he should've do it secretly and alone as always and it would've be as usual and it wouldn't hurt but it was Crowley that taught him to trust and to ask him for help!! Breaking his perfectly fine coping mechanisms!! It's all his faut if you think about it huh?? (but of course he's already forgiven. but also Aziraphale would do what he needs to do alone this time, as one and only capable adult in the world.)

Anyway it's not a meta it's just some late night thoughts. And it's in no way whole analizis there's so much more problems inside this angel. It's just something in particular that resonated with me today. Also it's not in any way critisizm of him, mind you, because a) he does really the smartest person in the room most of the time and b) I LOVE how fucked up in the head he is!!! I think he needs to become even more fucked up actually!!! and Crowley should love him for that and I will cheer for him from sidelines!!!

[its-coda]

My take on the Suzaki twins. Incomprehensible hc dump below :

In summary, they were twins but after Ryo died, Masashi started to have an identity crisis.

Assassin/Bodyguard duo

Ryo is the older twin.

Ryo prefers using the dagger, occasionally uses the sword.

Masashi likes to switch it up more, especially making a show of it with the transformations, baffling his enemies. He becomes much more motivated when his enemies give him good reactions.

Masashi seems to be the more “responsible” one compared to Ryo because Ryo is more open to having fun and getting drunk in public, while Masashi is a bit more reserved bc he doesn’t like “making a fool of himself in public”. Usually ends up having to keep tabs on his brother from causing problems.

Despite that, Ryo is the more “mature” one of the two (at least when sober), with him being more level-headed and calm under pressure. Masashi is more prone to lashing out and getting carried away by emotions. They’re both pretty impulsive in their own ways though.

Ryo likes to act like he’s lazy and doesn’t care, but he’s actually really good and serious about what he does.

Masashi has a bit of an inferiority complex, and is constantly trying to one-up Ryo. Though whenever he tries to do so, Ryo ends up upstaging him. This has been how it is for almost all of their lives.

Despite constantly fighting, they work really well together, and are inseparable.

They understand each other really well, but they feel like they can’t ever be that close or truly vulnerable to each other. They can’t ever get along in the way everyone else thinks they do. They’re both fully aware of this, of them preventing themselves from getting too close.

They fight and kill together, yes. They drink and celebrate together, yes. They ask the other what they want for dinner, yes. But do they ask the other what’s wrong when they notice the other being quieter than usual? Do they apologize when their insult hurt more than intended? Do they acknowledge their constant need to be better than the other? ….No, they don’t.

What was supposed to be the usual job went awry when their opponent turned out to be stronger and more prepared than they anticipated.

While they did put up a good fight, one of their pursuers managed to catch Masashi off-guard, disarming him. They charged at him, and without thinking, Ryo stepped right in front of Masashi, taking the sword straight to his chest.

Ryo took the sword off, and killed them with it. Meanwhile Masashi didn’t know what to do, and just started yelling at Ryo for being so careless because HE’S supposed to be the calm one under pressure, instead of just blindly doing something stupid.

Ryo couldn’t say much, but he tried to calm Masashi down, like he usually does whenever Masashi got too hot-headed.

He didn’t make it, and now Masashi really doesn’t know what to do.

He started hanging around Earth Angel more, mostly because it was Ryo’s favorite drinking spot.

Almost no one knew about Ryo’s death, and if they asked, he just told them they went their separate ways.

People couldn’t really tell them apart when they’re together, and only going off of how they act compared to one another, so now people just assume which twin he was with no direct comparison.

Since Ryo’s death, he started going out to drink more, and he finds himself trying to act louder and more of a “cheerful” drunk because he doesn’t like looking so depressed in public.

Because of this, people started calling him Ryo. The Earth Angel mama, the regulars, and even his clients. He never bothers correcting them, though. He also only ever introduces himself as Suzaki, yet they always seem to call him Ryo or otherwise imply so.

He eventually joined the Yakuza, though I’d like to think he’s not part of the Matsugane Family. He’s from another family, and Hamura hired him later on because he needed an assassin.

No one in the family knows his first name, and the people of Champion District call him Ryo, so “Masashi” started to fade into the shadows, until even he isn’t sure of who he really is.

He kept spending his days at Earth Angel almost everyday. The other patrons kept asking him about “Masashi” and how he’s doing now. “You two were always together, so why haven’t we seen him by now?”

Someone heard rumors of him joining the Yakuza, and they all immediately assumed that was “Masashi”.

“Who knows, maybe he thought that would make him stronger than me. He’s just trying to act tougher than he really is.”

He never actually introduced himself with his first name, so he’s always just whoever people call him as, and he never stopped to consider who he believed himself to be.

He decided he was going to draw a clear line between “Masashi” and “Ryo”. He’s “Masashi” when he’s an assassin working for the Yakuza, and he’s “Ryo” when he’s getting drunk in Champion District. That’s why his whole “Ryo” persona is pretty two-dimensional, only centered around being a drunk getting free drinks from others, because he’s not exactly CLOSE with Ryo, at least not enough to know how he really thinks, and certainly not enough to act like him all the time. That’s the only thing he knew about him outside of being an assassin/bodyguard, and like I said, he drew a clear line between “Ryo” and “Masashi”, and being an assassin and all that entails falls under “Masashi”, thus having no place for it in “Ryo”.

The first time he ever introduced himself as Ryo was when Yagami wandered into Earth Angel. After that exchange, he wondered why he lied to Yagami. He never technically lied about his name before, but being “Ryo” when he’s at Champion District just felt so natural that being anything but “Ryo” feels so wrong. Maybe it’s because he can’t merge his two “lives” together. He knew Yagami when he was “Masashi”, and “Ryo” didn’t know Yagami.

So he kept being “Ryo” to Yagami, and when he grew to respect him, he decided to help Yagami fight the Keihin Gang without considering what that would mean to his separate “identities”. He would have to fight as “Ryo”, but fighting was only for “Masashi”, so that line between the two started to blur.

There’s a difference in lying about who you are exclusively in one closed space compared to lying about it in public. It stopped being the exception, and it started to feel real.

And now as he helped Yagami defeat the Keihin Gang, more people knew him as “Ryo” despite them knowing “Masashi”, because he couldn’t really hide his true personality all the time, especially when it’s not “Ryo’s” place to be.

Even Yagami noticed that “Ryo” doesn’t act all that different from his brother.

[madcharlie77]

Break the Cycle: A CoD Zombies Story Part 1

This was originally posted on my Wattpad around a month ago but I decided to put it here since more people see my work here. I am in no way good at writing but I tried my best. To summarize what this is without too many spoilers for what this is, it's a What if scenario where Primis Richtofen stops the cycle by ending Ultimis Richtofens grand scheme. Anyway, please enjoy.

Soviet Codmadrome, Russia.

November 1963

After a tiring life or death battle at the Der Riese facility and an accidental stop at an abandoned theater used by group 935 to try control the undead, the Ultimis crew had finally made it to the Russian Codmadrome, Aka. Ascension. It was a calm but frigid night and the bitter touch of the crisp night air could be felt by everyone within the Codmadrome. At this time the undead seemed to have halted their vicious attack upon the crew, it being unknown if they had simply not found the crews location yet or if Samantha was feeling merciful that evening and was allowing the crew to rest. Anyhow, they collectively agreed that it would be best if they took it in turns to be on night watch.

It was the early hours of the morning when Tank Dempsey came off his watch, having to spend it with the last person he wished to see, the insane Dr Richtofen. He couldn't remember how the two met, knowing that they must've met previously as the German was the one who awoke him from his cryogenic slumber. He didn't know why, but upon meeting the doctor after being awoken he felt a great sense of loathing and hatred towards him, as if alarm bells were ringing in his head telling the Marine that this man was dangerous and not to be trusted, however what choice did he have but to follow him? He couldn't remember much of his own past so he followed the maniac in hopes to find the truth behind this madness.

It was on this crisp morning where Dempsey crept down to where the soft red hue of the Juggernog machine glowed, almost inviting him to come and sit next to it. He closed his weary eyes as the angelic voice of the woman, who he had named 'Jugger-girl', began to sing the familiar jingle, his gruff and tired voice singing along with it.

"When you need some help to get by, something to make you feel strong. Reach for Juggernog tonight, sugar seduction delight. When you need to feel big and strong, reach for Juggernog nog ton-"

The American halted his tired singing as a strong blue night glowed from the floor below. He questioned what it was at first before his interest took hold and lead him down stairs, only to be met with a strange sight. The blue light was a gateway into what he could only perceive as another dimension, however the strange part was the man standing infront of him. He was a well kept man, dressed in a shirt and a waistcoat. His slick black hair was brushed to the side and his facial features were angular and sharp, all these qualities tied neatly together with a mustache and pale blue eyes. Dempsey eyed the man up and down, trying to figure out who this man is. He seemed so familiar yet the marine couldn't put his finger on it.

"Ze baffled look doesn't suit jou mein dear marine." The man spoke in a thick German accent.

"Dear? You know me?" He asked in a puzzled tone.

"Vell, not in zhis timeline." He responded.

"Timeline?" He was even more confused now. "Is this another one of the little girls tricks?"

"Nein. Mein name is Edvard Richtofen, however I am not from jour timeline. Jou see, I am here seeking jour help." The German, who claimed to be Richtofen, spoke.

"Richtofen? Yeah right, the guys a freak, why would you wanna impersonate him?" The American asked with a chuckle.

The man just chuckled with him.

"Oh, I am Dr Edvard Richtofen, however I am from ein different time, 1918 to be exact."

"I'll believe it when I see it."

"Vell I don't have time to." He paused for a moment, trying to think of a way to say what he wanted to say next.

"Jou see... All of zhis, ze undead, Samantha, mein otherself, it's all one big time loop.. a cycle per say." He finally said.

"Whoa whoa whoa, slow down there buddy, a cycle? Have you gone mad?"

"A guy appears out of ein portal to another dimension und jou've been fighting ze undead for ein vhile now yet being told zhat all zhis is ein time loop is ze only thing mad about all zhis?"

"I suppose you have a point.."

"I need jour help Dempsheh, jou see ze doctor is planning something, something evil. I must to stop him from succeeding however I cannot interfere vith zhis timeline directly unless I vant to make zhis loop even vorse. However, jou can-" the man was cut off by the portal beginning to fade.

"Scheisse... Out of time." He looked at the Marine. "I vill visit again und explain zhis madness very soon, but in ze meantime, bevare ze doctor, he is evil incarnate."

The man turned and walked through the portal before the American could get in another word, leaving him there even more perplexed than ever.

"W-wait erm, 'Richtofen?' come on come back, I have more questions!" The American called out, but was met with the groggy voice of an older German.

"It vould be nice to get some sleep vithout ein DUMMKOPF screaming mein name und vaking me up Dempsheh!"

"Alright alright, don't get your panties in a fucking twist..." Tank called back. "Fucking kraut..." He mumbled to himself as he returned to the Juggernog machine. He decided to call it a night and go to sleep, however the strange encounter he had kept gnawing at his mind, keeping the possibility sleep just out of reach. Was what he was told true? What was Richtofen planning? He had so many questions in his mind left unanswered. However, if he knew anything, he knew it was wise to beware the doctor...

[mister13eyond]

i want to infodump hcs about vin, asphodel & their world so i AM below the cut!

so asphodel is very capable and informed on a lot of skills that have since become obsolete- they're an experienced garment maker, tailor, cook, and know a lot of very traditional handwork skills, but they can't use a smart phone to save their life. meanwhile vin is a twitch streamer and uses the internet for everything, but has absolutely no idea about the offline world (especially since he stays inside as often as he does) and is easily baffled by, like. driving. or cooking. or navigating w/o google maps. (also his sense of direction is Awful)

i think vin has only RECENTLY come to the human world; he remained in Hell for the majority of time and worked there and scarcely interacted with humans & wound up summoned by accident & bound to the human world like... within the last couple years. meanwhile i think asphodel is like, way more knowledgeable but also Not; they're kind of stuck in an archaic mindset and have not kept up well with the progress of technology, but Vin knows like, NOTHING about human history or worldly happenings yet adapted to technology VERY fast.

they both have extremely large blind spots in their human knowledge that make them very fun, especially since they're both kind of contrary to the perspective you'd expect them to have as a demon and an angel. like, vin generally thinks people are neat, and fun, and enjoys them even if it's in kind of a theoretical way. while asphodel is generally disillusioned with people and finds them simultaneously worth learning from but also generally lacking and not worth personal interactions with.

also tbh my views of this universe's "heaven" and "hell" are largely inspired by things like kuroshitsuji and hades, because i LOVE the afterlife being a big bureaucracy

IMO they're like... ok so my idea for the afterlife in this universe is 90% "every religion and lack thereof is simultaneously right, and what happens to you after death is a matter of belief and personal conviction, so careful record-keeping is the main duty of all celestial beings". so like, christian heaven & hell are just one of several Large Bureaucracies and their jobs are to keep track of believers, record their lives & then moderate where they should go once that life ends. Everyone gets a Trial at the end of their life where they have a defense lawyer (angel) and prosecutor (demon) who argue which outcome they should get. permanent sentences in hell are actually pretty rare and hell has adopted more of a greco-roman "serve time for your crimes & then get to go to heaven when your sentence ends" system (with the permanent sentences being Notable Punishments a'la sisyphus, tantalus etc who break Big Fundamental Rules in the Most Egregious Ways). and those who go to hell are essentially doing community service to help the company and/or act as Human Batteries (demons feed on human energy monsters inc style, and collect said energy from sinners) until they've served their sentence and are allowed to go to heaven, which is pretty much, like, just an endless existence where all needs and struggles are no more & people can just Vibe Forever)

mostly because the idea of hell just being dry capitalism & the prison-industrial complex is very funny to me & also i can't think of anything Worse than being forced to endure Capitalism for a little longer

anyways it means that asphodel's outlook is kind of moralistic & judgemental- they were a celestial defense lawyer & therefore are predisposed to judging people based on their actions & hypocracies- while vin's is very neutral, like. well bad people are just more people who need to get their shit together & serve their sentence & then they'll be fine. (and/or they're just Food Sources so no hard feelings.) so he's generally pretty friendly & amenable while asphodel has a very moral judgement model of thinking & cares deeply about Humanity Overall & heavily judges those who act against the good of Humanity, Collectively.

It's part of why they're so anti-technology & why Vin is so chill w/it- they believe much of the progress made in the 21st century is against the Good of Humanity, while Vin generally views it as "some people are cool some people suck but mostly it's just what it is". also ALSO! demons and angels are both beings made of just, like, pure energy. the main difference between them is essentially whether they have a positive or negative charge, basically. angels are tapped into the Universal Source Of All Energy (think lifestream a la final fantasy; this is also the outcome for those who don't believe in an afterlife- their life force becomes one with the universal energy source & melds with all other energy) & can endlessly Produce it, needing no source of energy to maintain life; "tiers" of angels are basically determined by the strength of that connection & how easily they can draw from it; archangels can draw more than angels, etc. while demons are NOT connected to that source and must draw from alternate sources such as humans.

this is why they use sinners as batteries in hell, & also why concepts like incubus/succubus exist- demons who go draw life directly from the living. that 'life' can be collected via strong emotions & strong feelings- they don't have to be negative a la torture BUT that is a very quick & easy way to collect; incubi/succubi generally use seduction to evoke strong emotions; some demons do even use things like comedy to collect. vin has an interest in horror media & horror games BECAUSE he can harvest fear from an audience that way; it's a safe haunted house way of collecting a lot of small snacks instead of one big meal. and the strength of demons is largely determined by how big their stockpile of energy is; higher tier demons have larger stockpiles, while lower tiers like vin usually just collect enough to sustain themselves & don't have much Extra. ANYWAYS I HAVE TO WORK BUT THANK U FOR COMING TO MY OC TED TALK, I THINK THEY'RE FUN

[j0kers-light]

His Lighthouse: Until Next Time (Male!reader x fem!Joker)

Until Next Time - Oneshot

KEEP IN MIND THIS IS NOT A CHAPTER UPDATE!

Hey hi loves!🖤✨

Remember when someone asked for a part two of Role Reversal? Hehe… I’m a woman of my wooooord! Enjoy!

taglist:

@blackreaderatrisk @twinkledinkle @|3ejm @tears-of-amber @what-an-angel @darthjokerisyourfather @thatsnoteii @dollster @cheetahspy @kaidennnnn @urdariingdoll @motivation-idontknowher @insOmniac-whack @spaghettificationandpretzels @reneisance @alittlesmartcookie @ninacutebee16 @carydorse @jaysmentalspace @she-could-never @that--thing

Let me know if you wish to be added to the official His Lighthouse taglist! Be alerted with any oneshots and the main story updates! 🖤✨

The next shift at work was chaotic to say the least. Everyone was dying to know what happened after Joker and her goons stormed the place. 

Of course, HR had to do their spiel, offering you counseling, support, and blah blah blah. You were a witness to murder on top of being held hostage, not a charity cause. Unfortunately it was mandatory whether you liked it or not. Management also encouraged you to sign an NDA, which you refused. For all intent purposes, nothing happened. You wanted to forget and move on. That in of itself was an NDA. 

No one else respected your attempts at forgetting.  

Jim Gordon cleared you of any legal liability and you took the suggested week off from work to ‘clear your head.’  

The commissioner claimed that you needed some time to purge The Joker from your head.  

Initially you brushed off his concern, she was just one woman, but after the second night of restless sleep, you had to admit defeat. She was everywhere. You could feel her hands roaming your body— feel her soft weight resting on your chest once more.  

You imagined her lithe form lying underneath your sheets and saw her long hair; mere innocent strands turn into venomous snakes in the dark. The color green held new meaning and that laugh of hers… f__k.  

It bounced off the walls of your apartment and drove you even more insane. You’ve been a bachelor for years. The thought of another being in your apartment was ludicrous and yet feeling her warm body collide with your back, felt right. 

“I'm boooooored Y/n.. pay attention to meee.”  

You willed your body not to turn around but you had no control here. There she was wearing one of your t-shirts—hair all askew, looking like a dream. Then you reminded yourself, this was a dream. 

‘She isn’t real!’ you told yourself.  

This was an illusion, yet her eyes sucked you in despite the alarms blaring in your head to run. Did you really want to escape and why should you? 

Joker was so petite compared to you. It baffled you that she was capable of destruction on such a massive scale. It must’ve been so hard to be a woman surrounded by alpha males in the crime world. You had an urge to protect her, to love...  

Joker smiled sensing that you wanted to give her a kiss and stood on her tippy toes to meet you halfway. 

Only for your lips to meet thin air.  

You shot up out of bed a sweaty, panting mess. It wasn’t real, so why did you want it to be?  

Enough was enough. Screw being off for a week, you needed to go back to work. You couldn’t last another second cooped up indoors with your demented mind playing tricks on you. That dream felt too real. 

You clocked into work that same night, ignoring the multiple stares you received. 

Apparently no one expected you to bounce back on your feet so quickly. It did take you a while to get back into the swing of things and you found yourself missing Jazz drowning on in your ear during the night. That wasn’t a problem. Others soon replaced the silent void you longed for.  

A guy you hardly knew from your team rushed up to you during a line rush.  

“Yo dude! You’re alive!” He scanned a barcode before hefting a package onto the conveyor belt, “It’s been what? Three days? Are you sure you good bro?” 

You tried not to let your annoyance show. This was Gotham. People witnessed crime all the time and went about their daily lives just fine afterwards. Why was everyone treating you like a baby?  

They didn’t need to know that you were slowly losing your grip on reality. You were fine if you didn’t think about her.  

“I’m fine.” You stressed.  

The parcel in your hand landed roughly on the loading pallet but you didn’t care. You wanted the monotony of work to erase Joker from your mind and talking about her in conversation was counterproductive. You squeezed your eyes shut and counted to twenty. 

The random worker must’ve read the room. “Aight, Y/n. Just ah, take it easy ya know?”  

You thought that would be the end of things. Far from it.  

It hadn’t been a full hour since you clocked in and people that you never talked to decided to bother you for a crumb of gossip.  

“What’s she really like? C’mon tell me!” 

“Don’t get me wrong, she’s f___king crazy but uh.. I’d still hit ya know what I’m sayin? Did.. did you tap that?”  

When you didn’t respond and roll your eyes, it didn’t help the situation.  

“Haha! Y/n my man! You did! I didn’t know you had it in ya!” 

You were getting irritated from all these questions. Didn’t they have work to do? The line sure was getting backed up. 

Where was Frost to break up distractive chatter when you needed him? Your shift manager was notorious for yelling at his team to get back to work. He was nowhere to be found which left you with no escape from your vulture-like employees.  

Why couldn’t they understand that you weren’t saying anything on the matter? What happened was over and done with and you weren’t one for gossip anyways.  

Finally your lunch hour had come, and you were heading to lunch when another guy approached you. The frustration was building all night, but this poor guy would receive it all. Not your problem, you were past your breaking point.  

“I’m not answering s__t, so f__k off.” You slammed your metal locker shut in anger.  

The force rattled some things inside however your fellow employee wasn’t scared away. He simply blinked in shock and stood his ground. He was persistent, you’d give him that much.  

The guy held up his hands as a show of peace.  

“I wasn’t gonna.. Look, I was a close friend of Jazz.” You paused in your retreat and that was a cue for him to continue. “I know y’all were partners on the line and I just. I wanted to ask if you were okay?”  

He scratched the back of his head, cringing to himself. Hopefully that sounded sincere. Men weren’t usually in tune with their emotions much less to check up on one another.  

You on the other hand took the attempt in stride. It was the first time someone asked how you were feeling and meant it.  

You honestly don’t know what to say. “Uh, yeah I guess. I mean.. I miss having Jazz as a spotter. No one can carry a 1070 backwards like him.” You joked.  

The guy seemed to get your way of coping and laughed along. “Yeah, it's like he had eyes in the back of his head or somethin’.”  

The two of you walked to the mess hall reminiscing all the crazy feats Jazz did while at work. He was an idiot, but he was reliable at the day’s end. Before you knew it, lunch came and went, and you were still chatting with Thomas.  

He worked on Line A, the one that packaged the goods for your line to move onto loading bays. Even though Thomas was in a completely different sector, you slowly formed a friendship with him. He was quiet, well educated in his job function, and a cool guy to chat with. 

The two of you were about to head back to the floor when he stopped you by hitting your bicep. “Hey Y/n. Some of the guys from line A and I are planning on going to O’Brians’s after work. You down?”  

He scanned his ID on the security panel and opened the door to enter. You let it close properly before gaining your own access.  

The one minute delay gave you time to mull over the invite. O’Brians’s was a popular eatery open for third shift workers but more importantly, it was located in the heart of Joker’s territory.  

Any other time you would’ve jumped at the opportunity, but something didn’t settle well with you to accept. Perhaps the fact you met the owner and knew nothing good would ever come from being in the same vicinity.  

Just thinking about the murderous businesswoman made your head begin to ache.  

“Nah I’ll pass but thanks for offerin, man.” You replied.  

Thomas nodded and the two of you went separate ways to finish up the night shift. Thankfully no redacted pallets passed your line upon your return. You weren’t ready to move any illegal goods anytime soon.  

The rest of your shift flew by uneventfully. With it, the sunrise blinded you as you returned home. You were beat and wanted to grab a quick breakfast before crawling into bed.  

You were lucky that Frost appeared after your lunch hour and made it his priority to yell at anyone who dared to talk to you. It was a busy night, no time to gossip— and for that, you were grateful. Your headache only seemed to worsen the closer the inevitable hot hour arrived.  

Between the hours of one am and four, the likelihood of illegal items being on the line reached as high as eighty percent. It left a bitter taste in your mouth to move something that triggered the events that only happened three days prior.  

You started to regret coming back to work so early. Your shoulder throbbed in agreement.  

But that was over and done with and now you were back home.  

You carried yourself through the front door and made it to the fridge for a drink. You were downing your second glass of orange juice when a voice behind you spoke. “How was work?”  

You inwardly sighed. The hallucinations were back.  

It was best to just go with the flow as you were too tired to question your sanity or argue. You scanned the fridge and found a jar of overnight oats mixed with fruit in the back.  

“Tiring, I think I made a friend tho. He’s aight I guess.”  

A soft hum was the only response you received for a length of time. Then you heard a, “That’s good Y/n. It’s good to have... friends. Lefthand drawer.” 

You were struggling to find your spoon drawer, that’s how exhausted you were. You tossed an appreciation over your shoulder only to freeze up in hindsight.  

Something about her tone was off—it sounded too sentient, and it made you turn around to face your delusions.  

At least you thought it was.  

“Holy s__t!” Much to your horror you locked eyes with The Joker seated at your island counter, watching your every move. She looked so at ease, as if she belonged there that it gave you whiplash.  

“W-What the.. WHY ARE YOU HERE?! HOW DID YOU—?!” 

“Nghh. Too loud.” She groaned and adjusted the bag of frozen peas better on her head. It made you pause and look at her more closely. Her usual pristine suit was disheveled and there was blood on her collar. The sight made your stomach do flip flops.  

You set your breakfast down and asked. “Did you get into a fight?”  

She snorted and didn’t reply. Her gaze shifted out the window. If you weren’t paying close attention, you would have missed the glassy look in her eye. 

Okay, now you were concerned. Joker was a female and entitled to mood swings, but then again, she was tough as nails. Batman hit her vehicle with an RPG just three days ago and she walked away just fine— so to see her so defeated today was jarring.  

You had to play this carefully or it could end ugly.  

For some unknown reason you weren’t terrified that The Joker was in your apartment. Witnessing her so vulnerable tossed all common sense out the window.  

Your exhaustion made you emboldened enough to crack a joke. “Let me guess. You didn’t wear a seatbelt again?” You nodded at her injury.  

A brief smirk appeared on her disfigured face. So she remembered. “Tch, he always aims for my head. Stupid jerk.”  

You were at a loss. “Who?” 

She rolled her eyes, the color of fresh spearmint, and sent you a ‘keep up will you?’ look. “If you must know.... Bats and I had a fight. It’s whatever. H-he’s always like this. Hurting me n’ all..”  

Joker let out a shaky breath and focused intently on your kitchen counter. In that moment she looked so... small. You couldn’t lower your guard however. She was a monster, a wolf in sheep’s clothing.  

“That doesn’t explain why you’re in my apartment.” You added. That earned you an eye roll.   

“I was close n’ it felt safe. I wanted..” she let out an airy chuckle, “For once, I wanted to feel safe where someone wouldn't hurt me.”  

Her words punched you right in the gut. All this time you feared the woman with the reputation, not once thinking about the woman behind the scars. She was human just like you with feelings and desires.  

Speaking of, your gaze dropped down to her lips.  

Her signature lipstick was smudged around the edges but you could see the bottom lip was split with dried blood in the corner. Her and Bats had quite some fight and it was apparent that she lost. Joker looked like crap.  

You wanted to offer her aid but your sleep deprived mind blurted out the first thing it could think of. “You think my place is safe?”  

The thought made you snort. Your place was amazing, and rent was reasonable, but the locale was not great. You were in the rougher side of Chinatown being the closest residential area to the Dixon shipping docks where you worked. You wouldn’t necessarily call it safe.  

In Joker’s eyes, your place was a Mecca.  

“You promised not to hurt me Y/n, don’t tell me you’re a liar too?” She tried to shake her head but groaning in pain when it became unbearable.  

You rushed over to help reposition the bag of peas on her head. She noticeably flinched at your touch although you didn’t notice. Being this close to Joker after spending so many nights with just her phantom was refreshing. Perhaps later you would think back and cringe— right now you spun Joker’s chair around so she could lean her head on your chest.  

That addicting blend of roses and lighter fluid seeped into your senses. She was like a balm for your weary bones.  

And when her heart shaped face looked up at you, you waited with bated breath to hear what she had to say.  

“I like your eyes. There’s so.. kind.” She whispered in awe.  

“Kind?” You echoed. 

She reached up and caressed your cheekbones. You noticed her nails were painted pitch black today yet your focus shifted to her own eyes. Her sooty lashes fluttered a mile a minute. “Yeah.. safe.”  

“Jo—” You sighed when she slumped forward. Great. You were left holding an unconscious criminal in your arms with no clue on what to do next.  

This was not on your bingo card for today or any day for that matter. You had plenty of Joker exposure from three days ago to last you a lifetime, but it would be rude if you kicked her out in her current state.  

You didn’t know anyone to call (except the police) so you resigned yourself to fate. She came to you in her time of need; you wouldn’t abuse the trust she bestowed upon you.  

Without thinking, you scooped Joker up bridal style and headed to bed.  

You woke up well rested a little bit after one pm. A con of being on third shift; a completely different sleeping schedule than normal.  

You were about to climb out of bed when your body seized up and remembered the events earlier this morning. The Joker was in your apartment! The two of you talked before she.. 

You glanced over to your right, only to be throughly disappointed to find the bed empty. She was gone, as if she was never there to begin with. Was she? Your mind wasn’t thinking straight these days.. 

If she was, it shouldn’t have bothered you but it did.  

You carried her to bed, you removed her shoes— red bottoms to match her lethal body count, and tucked her in. You’d wash the sheets later since her heavy makeup ruined them.  

It took you ages to fall asleep, although you weren’t complaining. Having Joker in your bed stroked your male ego. She was a sight you could get used to even if she was a walking red flag. You were thinking with your dick at this point.  

Her long green hair called out to you and you played with the ends of it to help you nod off. This tiny wisp of a girl drove you insane with little effort on her part.  

She did something to your head that night. It made you gravitate towards her; it made you protective when you had absolutely no right to do so.  

She made you realize just how lonely you were and watching her brow furrow in distress, perhaps she was too.  

Pulling Joker into the safety of your arms immediately calmed her down even if the price to pay was her nails digging into your skin. She could sink her claws as deep as she liked, you weren’t letting her go. You were hooked.  

Obviously you did let go, given the fact that she was gone.  

You flopped back on the bed, groaning to yourself until something made contact with your arm. It was smooth to the touch and felt harmless so you rolled over to investigate.  

How could you have missed this? A deck of cards was scattered on your bed with the most important one, the Joker, being on top. You picked it up with shaky hands to read the note inscribed in blood red ink.   

Until next time.  

She even kissed the card wearing her jet black lipstick.  

You read the promise over and over and committed her flowery handwriting to memory. It became your new obsession.  

Good thing Joker didn’t keep you waiting for long.   

An odd arrangement formed between you and Joker. Four days after the dubbed pillow incident, she barged into your living room with a box of assorted doughnuts and watched you play video games all night. You were both terrified and turned on by her play-by-play skills that led to many wins.  

Another night, she crashed through your bedroom window and broke her stilettos heel in the process.  

You made her blueberry pancakes to feel better and you learned Joker had quite the appetite.  

Another random day, you were preparing for work and walked in on her soaking in your bathtub. You tried not to look— really you did, but the temptation was too great. You took in her wet body at a loss for words. The scent of roses swirled in the confined space and made your head swim.  

Sickly sweet, just like her.  

You were tongue tied when she asked if you wanted to “join her.” The vixen even blew red tinted bubbles your way to entice you!  

You foolishly went to work with a hard on.  

However other times Joker wasn’t alone when she dropped by. She would storm into your apartment grumbling to herself with a shadow right behind her.  

“Uh Joker? Who’s this?” You pointed to the creepy male who was giving you the death glare.  

Joker flipped her hair over shoulder while bending down looking for something in your living room, “Does it matter? Whaddya doing tonight, Y/n. I’m booored.”  

She said it nearly identical like in your dream weeks back. You walked closer to her, your gaze never leaving the blond watching your every move.  

“It’s my night off, you know that.” You chided her.  

You used some of your accumulated days off for an extended staycation. You told her about it the last time she came over but apparently things went through one ear and out the other.  

Her eyes lit up in delight when she found what she was looking for. You missed her tossing it to her goon since she threw you a question simultaneously. “Oh! Can I stay ov~errrr then?” 

“You never asked for permission before.” You fired back.  

Your comment earned you a grunt from Joker’s bodyguard and like a flash of lightening, her entire mood shifted. She spun around and held a knife to his throat before you could even blink. Where she kept it wearing that skintight outfit, you didn’t want to know.  

“Is there a uh.. problem, Blondie?”  

You felt like an outsider watching the altercation unfold. You got to see the real Joker, cold, vindictive, and cutthroat interact with anyone who opposed her. Her angelic voice made her threats even more chilling. In the end Joker giggled and let the guy go who breathed a sigh of relief— but not without giving you the stink eye as he walked out.  

Why did it feel awkward all of a sudden? Joker thankfully cleared the air with her next statement.  

“Now that’s all settled..” she sauntered over to you and flashed you a sultry smile. “Ya wanna go out with me?” 

Y/n.exe has stopped working. You were speechless. She wanted to do what?!  

“Out? W-With you?” You managed to say.  

Your response made Joker’s grotesque smile falter, though you hardly noticed. “Yes! We can um.. rob Gotham Merchant Bank and go shopping or or! bomb the GCPD headquarters with glitter! No, I got it! We can assassinate the mayor!”  

Oh boy this woman was insane. She was practically shaking with excitement.  

You smiled softly at Joker while pushing her away. It pained you to see her crestfallen face. How dare you say no to her? 

You had to correct your mistake in order to stay alive.  

“Or.. we could stay in and watch a movie.” You guided her to sit down on the couch with you.  

Joker eyed you in silence as you turned on your tv and opened a streaming service. She didn’t know what to do from here and you could hear the vulnerability in her voice.  

“A m-movie?” 

Seeing that she was struggling, you selected a good war period film and sat back. It should entertain her bloodlust at least. The opening title appeared and you took Joker by surprise when you pulled her down to cuddle with you.  

It may have been super smooth to an outsider but your heart was beating out of your chest.  

You were in a lover’s embrace with Gotham City’s deadliest criminal. You didn’t dare move. Joker’s body was like a poised cobra on top of you. If you didn’t feel her steady breathing, she would’ve been a statue.  

Gunfire from the movie stole her attention and with each body that fell, you could feel her slowly relaxing into your hold.  

Why were you attracted to the crazy ones? 

Joker was thinking the same thing. It was ridiculous how quickly she caved in to your request. You didn’t give her a chance to argue, you simply got comfortable and brought her along for the ride.  

It was different and overwhelming. Instead of fast-paced heists and the thrill of running away, she was subjected to the calm rhythm of your heart and the dumb acting onscreen. A bright scene lit up the room and it was then Joker took the time to take you in.  

You were obviously handsome with a boy next door charm that rotted her teeth. Mama raised you to respect women and not once did you try to make a move on Joker.  

The sad part, she wanted you to. You worked out and it showed with your toned arms and rough hands.  

She’d seen you lift boxes twice her size with ease and it made her grow wet with possibilities.  

What were you like in bed? Were you still a gentleman? A dom? Or a fun combination of both? Ahhh! She needed to know but moments like this were a rarity.  

She couldn’t remember the last time someone held her close and just existed. Your eyes were focused on the movie while your hand was busy rubbing soothing circles on her back. You made her feel normal, just a girl hanging out with her boyfriend.  

Her minty eyes widened. Were you her boyfriend? The idea kinda excited her.  

It was settled. You were her boyfriend whether you liked it or not.  

The movie became irrelevant to Joker, your scent, clean with a hint of pine had her eyes falling half mast and your subdued strength, in the way you held her tight with just one arm, to your heart beating rhythmically in her ear. Safe.  

You were safe to Joker and that meant the world to her. In your arms no one could hurt her, not even Bats.  

She hoped that she wasn’t too heavy because about twenty minutes into the movie, she was out. You followed her not too long after thinking the same sentiments.  

Joker was crazy but you would protect her at all costs.