#everyone fucking understands its not rocket science

[banqanas]

😮‍💨

[timeisacephalopod]

Lol out of curiosity I looked up my old job on Indeed and yes they ARE urgently hiring for the position and if I didn't get treated like dog shit for expecting a stress free work environment with reasonable expectations and not wildly cunty management who seemed to be under the impression they were doing THE most important job at THE most important store ever maybe I wouldn't have just not shown up one day 🤷🏻‍♀️ asshole thing to do to my poor coworkers but I didn't even have the energy to quit right after spending a month and a half feeling deeply surveilled at every aspect of my job lest I get another frivolous writeup no one else got for doing their jobs worse than me so fine. You want me gone enough to threaten my livelihood and SHRUG when I point out I have rent to pay, fine, but I wouldn't put up with that behavior from anyone in my life generally and I LIKE those people so my JOB pulling bullshit? Oh hell no, if I wouldn't take it from people I CHOOSE to be around on purpose I ain't taking shit from a fucking JOB. I refuse to be in a work environment that's unaware it's a GROCERY STORE, not a 5 star establishment frequented exclusively by world leaders or some shit. Like Sam, my job is cooking food at a fucking sobeys and you're acting as if I'm disarming bombs it's so important get reasonable priorities and standards for employees and then apply them equally to managers and not EXCLUSIVELY minimum wage staff 🙄

Which is funny because my new job everyone seems surprised with how fast I've caught on to stuff down to a coworker yesterday telling me he thought I worked in a shoppers prior to the pharmacy I'm in because Im catching on so quick. This isn't unusual for me either, some time in the last five or so years I've found every workplace I'm at I end up being heavily relied on because I'm good at my job, so fucking sucks to suck for sobeys because it took me some week or so to be consistently praised for being better at the job than the guy I replaced only for them to throw that out because they think management should be able to do whatever the fuck they want while they shove minimum wage staff under a fucking microscope to ensure they're doing their shit right and even that isn't consistent. They punished me exclusively because I did not lay down to be treated as a door mat and dished the treatment I got handed. If you treat me like shit I WILL treat you the way you treat me, no worse, and sometimes a little better because I don't lose my moral standards in that treatment either. Just because I'm being an ass doesn't mean I'm willing to do whatever the fuck, just enough to ensure that the person who's decided I'm their new plaything knows that'll be going both ways so fuck off. I've never had a job so willing to keep on shit management they had at LEAST a dozen meetings with regarding performance and I was the one who got punished for being frustrated about that. But I will take a new significantly less stressful job 🙌🏻

[iheartjohnlennon]

Hii!! Do you think you could write a John lennon x assistant reader that's an enemies to lovers?💕

'You really got a hold on me'

London, '65

Word count: 846

Tags: Sexual Tension, Mild Smut, Developing Relationship

                   

In the recording studio, the late-night session had taken its deep toll on everyone, everyone except for assistant perhaps.

 

She had been whisking around happily since the early morning - papers in her hand, words in her mouth. A lot of words, all words to do with the boys. 

   

She busied herself with making tea for them before she left for the night. Paul and George lounged on the sofa, they exchanged tired smiles as they heard the kettle sound.

 

After moving gracefully out of the quaint back kitchen, she handed George a mug and gave his arm a rub.

 

"Here you are, George." 

 

"Cheers, love." He acknowledged, looking up for a second. 

 

Paul offered a warm smile when he took his tea. "You're a lifesaver," he added.

   

Now, when it came to John, there was a noticeable pause.

   

He sat in the corner of the room, an air of indifference about him, it intimidated her sometimes.

 

It was always like this between them since they had met, an underlying issue, not explainable. The others were good with her, and she was good with them.

   

John had always been a bit crude with her, nagging her. Nagging her way more than he did the other secretaries too.

   

She hesitated, glancing in his direction before deciding to skip him for the moment, well, she hadn't prepared a cup for him in the first place. 

   

Her decision wasn't lost on him, it pissed him right off. "Am I fucking invisible, then Y/N?" 

 

John snapped at her, a cold edge to his voice.

 

He put his guitar down, deciding his attention could now be focused on annoying her. 

 

She shot him a wry look and sighed before replying dryly. "Yes, John."

   

Paul and George exchanged glances, attempting to stifle their uncomfortable laughter as they took sips of their tea.

   

John wasn't one to back down, especially not to some assistant. She paced back and forth, his eyes followed her every step.

 

"Oh, right, I see. Everyone gets tea but me. Feeling the love, aren't I? Aren't I?" He challenged rudely.

 

She shrugged, feeling bored of his pre-rant.

   

"Well, it's not bloody rocket science, is it? Prepare tea for all of us or don't. That's what you're good at after all."

 

"What?" She asked angrily, hoping he didn't insinuate what she thought.

   

George and Paul exchanged knowing glances for the last time. With a shared understanding, they rose from their seats, leaving the room with a sense of practised nonchalance. The heavy door swung shut behind them, hopefully muffling out any more bickering. 

   

She sighed and retrieved a fag from her cardigan pocket. 

   

"Well, love, it seems it's just you and me now," he remarked, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he leaned against a nearby amplifier.

 

She shot him a sidelong glance, a mixture of scepticism and amusement in her expression. 

 

"Don't get any ideas, Lennon. I can handle myself just fine."

   

John raised an eyebrow, a sly smile forming on his lips. He walked towards her, becoming oddly close. 

   

"Oh, I'm sure you can, but where's the fun in that?"

 

He seemed to whisper. 

   

She rolled her eyes, and looked away from him, maintaining her composure. 

 

"You know, you're not as charming as you think you are."

 

She knew she was lying to herself. In spite of his frequent insults and rudeness, there was an air of eroticism in it, just an air.

   

John chuckled, unfazed by her retort.

 

"Well, lucky for you, I'm not here to charm. Just to keep you on your toes, y'know?" 

 

She sensed the sarcasm.

   

John seemed to be slowly closing the distance between them, their noses softly touching. 

   

His voice, low and teasing, sent shivers down her spine.

 

"You know, love, I can't decide if you're more of a nuisance or a temptation."

   

She was caught off guard by the sudden proximity, and his comment. 

 

Before she could respond, John closed the remaining gap, his lips roughly met hers in an unexpected kiss. The studio, once filled with the echoes of music, now carried the sounds of their smooches.

 

Their lips embraced and his tongue tasted her mouth, from the tip of her tongue to the back of her throat. Her back had pressed hard against the wall as his hands gripped his arms.

   

John pulled away from the heated kiss, just briefly.

 

His lips now traced a path along her neck, she exhaled softly and then let out a slow, breathy whisper. 

 

"John..."

 

Undeterred, he persisted, determined to leave a mark. 

   

She gently shoved him away, creating a small but deliberate distance between them. John leaned in for another kiss.

 

She chuckled, placing a hand on his chest to stop him. "No need to rush."

 

His lips hovered, a playful pout forming on his face. "I thought you liked a bit of excitement."

 

"Oh, I do, but let's savour the moment, shall we?" She said. 

   

John slipped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer. His hands squeezed her behind, and she gasped. 

 

"Savouring it just fine, love," he groaned.

[thestobingirlie]

One thing I'll never understand in fic is why people write everyone seeing steve as a massive asshole and bully and him constantly having to apologise for it.

because lets say he was a massive asshole and bully, they could easily not hang around with him. they could just not be his friends.

i was bullied at school and i would never be able to be friends with anyone that did it. one did apologise, and we're at a point where we can exist peacefully in the same space and make polite small talk. but we'll never be friends and won't go out of our way to be around each other.

But these fics seem intent on the narrative that the others were so horrifically bullied by steve but they still want to be his friend.

just pick one! if people want to write him as having been an asshole and bully, make it so the others aren't friends with him/ don't want to be friends with him. if you want everyone to be friends with him, stop making him such an asshole! its not rocket science.

(i don't believe Steve was ever a bully. i just hate the whole "he was a bully, but now they're best friends so he always has to apologise for his past" narrative.)

stupid disease sooooo chronic in this fandom

literally like. if steve was a high school bully, 1. why are they all hanging out with him? 2. he’s done his dues. he doesn’t have to beg for forgiveness FOREVER.

you can’t even argue that they’re all bonded from the trauma because we know steve and jonathan aren’t hanging out. steve and nancy aren’t talking post s2. sometimes, people can just NOT be friends, even after going through monster hunting. it’s so easy.

so many steddie fics have eddie resent steve so much to the point that it’s all he thinks about… and yet i’m expected to want them to be together? you don’t have to force through your hatred to date someone just because they’re hot.

like god. the degree to which this fandom is obsessed with the bully/victim is INSANE. fucking ship troy and mike or something damn

[b1zmuth]

Chapter {P} | Prologue  

-----------------------------------

Oh, how the Government lied to us. 

How my own parents lied to ME. 

The Government told us that, even though the new war was upcoming, we shouldn't hoard supplies and that we should group up- coming together as a ‘’community’’. 

That was very short lived after they cut our rations down by 20% in only a week. Food, water, medicine- the basic necessity of toilet paper- it didn't matter to them. 

They KNEW that we simple ‘’slaves’’ below them already knew of their plans to use this as the war snowball effect- it doesnt take fucking rocket science to know when people are pushing for a effort that THEY want, regardless of who or what is put at stake for it.

They wanted us to panic after all, since the rations were cut down, people went back to their barbaric ways- killing, hunting, destroying.. Really much anything that MOVED.

The stench outside of my little stick home was actually putrient and disgusting to even think about- let alone SMELL it 24/7.

.

.

.

.

.

Since most of humanity returned to the 1500’s, people were on murder sprees left and right- it mainly started with the mental asylums as people flocked to their homes and local grocery stores for food and water.

Since the mental asylums were pretty much abandoned, the power went out all across the grid- and you guessed it! The doors were unlocked and out came the mentally challenged to start the whole shitshow.

Great.

Just fantastic.

That's what initially started the domino effect, andddd eventually doomsday came and went.

I think I was maybe…. around 5-6ish when the Karaduka bomb finally struck US soil- and now I'm 23, smoking probably laced weed to get rid of the ‘’hopeless despair’’ feeling.

In only two decades has the world become deserted and into some type of dystopian era movie type thing.. It's genuinely gut wrenching to think about sometimes.

People really don't realize just how messed up and freakish our world truly is. It's just a poorly bootleg film of that purge movie back in the 2010’s- ‘’a really shitty adaptation of humans' cardinal lust for violence when its not constantly supervised and kept in check by moral laws.’’

Remember the old saying ‘’there are always two sides to a story’’? Well it applies to my story as well.

Let me introduce you to the Black Lotus.

It has that one downright cultish following, that gives anyone within their vicinity a fucking headache.

It's actually boring because they run around with basically leaves as armor? I still dont understand how that went through everyone and even then NOBODY batted an eye at it.

Like genuinely, the last thing i want to see is a Roasted Lotus flinging themselves, hoohah, and flying helicopter wiener at full speed- towards ME.

One stick and it's all she wrote for them- hence why I say they are the most boring and easiest group to pick off.. Or well now that I think about it? They usually carry nothing to defend themselves with, it's almost TOO easy to be true.

Maybe i'll look into it another day.

Oh, and I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Aerith Dukes, or now just Aeri for short, the disappointing offspring of my father and mother.

I hope they can put my famous quote on my gravestone once the radiation finally does me a solid one.

------------------------------------------------------------------

[2jaeh]

PassionFruit | Kim Jungwoo

genre: smut

word count: 2,5k

author: SIN!

warnings: relevant smut tags, no real plot.

Your share house decides to throw a party and while Jaehyun shares his knowledge of aphrodisiacs, your long time crush Jungwoo wants to show you why passion fruit may be his favourite. (FT NCT 127)

—————————————————————————

Is creating cocktails really fucking rocket science Jaehyun?” Johnny groaned as he watched the younger boy shake a concoction for the fifth time and not allow anyone to drink his creation.

“It’s an art form Johnny Suh, you wouldn’t understand” Jaehyun pressed his lips together, dimples appearing in his flushed cheeks.

Your share house decided to throw a house party and unlike good hosts who would wait for their guests to arrive before partaking in alcohol, almost all of you were past the point of tipsy. Johnny, the instigator had begun pouring shots around 3pm, and everyone assumed that by 9 you’d have sobered up before the party. But the shots never stopped and now Jaehyun crowned himself a mixologist for the night.

“Listen it’s all about the fruits, fruits can be an aphrodisiac” Jaehyun continued, words slurred but was still capable of finely slicing up strawberries.

“Who gives a shit, we’re in our 20s I highly doubt any of us have a problem getting it up in the bedroom” Yuta grabbed a slice of watermelon and bit into it before offering it to Mark.

“Yeah” Mark agreed, taking a bite. “Wait but does watermelon really make you horny?!”

“Would explain why you’re in the bathroom rubbing one off every few hours Mark Lee” Johnny snickered and high-fived Yuta.

You rolled your eyes at their banter and popped a strawberry in your mouth as you watched Jaehyun try out yet another recipe. Living in a shared house with your friends from I.T has really been quite the ride. To the dismay of your parents finding out that all your co-workers were men and that you even shared a bedroom with one of them, everyone who eventually met the boys and saw how well you all got along inevitably got over the situation.

“Do you find any of them attractive ?” Your old friend from university once asked you and your thoughts immediately zoned in on one person.

Kim Jungwoo.

He now joined the rest of you in the kitchen, sporting tight leather pants and a red crop top exposing his slim abdomen while his bleached blonde locks fell over his face.

All of your friends were good looking. From the conventional hot boys Jaehyun and Johnny, to the resident edgy types like Yuta and Taeyong, the boys next door Mark and Haechan to the mature types like Doyoung and Taeil but Kim Jungwoo was different.

The moment he stepped into a room all eyes were on him. From his crazy personality to his God-like proportions, you were a pretty confident person but once faced with him you always turned into a babbling mess.

What made it worse was that Jungwoo was aware of your little adoration of him and he didn’t make it unknown that he was very much interested in you too. Though it was easier to converse with him when you were drunk, your drunk state also wanted to jump him right on the spot.

“Jungwoo, any cocktail requests ?” Jaehyun asked his roommate as he finally allowed his onlookers to try the strawberry daiquiri.

“Hmm” Jungwoo pondered until you felt him move right next to you, your body stiffening when his slender fingers landed on your lower back. His floral perfume intoxicated you as his long figure leaned over the kitchen island and inspected the array of fruits Jaehyun had laid out.

You couldn’t help but allow your eyes to drift down to his absolutely perfect body line and his beautifully exposed midriff.

“Passion fruit” he grinned, grabbing one of the halves that Jaehyun had cut and stuck in a spoon to scoop its contents out and lick the spoon clean. You gulped as you watched his tongue dart out, cleaning up every remnant before shooting you a glance.

“Not sure if it’s an aphrodisiac but It makes me wanna eat p-“

“Please save us the details!” Doyoung quickly interjected and Taeyong let out a sigh of relief while Jungwoo’s erratic laugh could be heard throughout the house.

The other boys joined in laughing along with Jungwoo but your head was now filled with images of Jungwoo nestling in between in your legs, making your body contort with pleasure while you scream out his name.

“Y/n ?”

Your daydream fizzled away when Jungwoo waved his hand in front of your face and a cheeky smirk spread across his face.

“Yeah ? What’s up ?” You cleared your throat and took a few sips from your cocktail.

Jungwoo raised a brow, the smile on his face growing even larger. “You’re not thinking about what I was about to say earlier are you ?” his tone indicated that it was rhetorical, he could tell when you were flustered.

“N-no” you replied, mentally cursing yourself for stumbling over your answer. Jungwoo cocked his head and chuckled as his eyes moved over your figure, a hint of mischief seeping through.

“I’m pretty sure I can eat you out better than I did that passion fruit” he whispered into your ear before strutting away as the guests began to fill in.

His dirty words had your head muddled as you combatted both the alcohol and thoughts of whether he’d follow up on his offer. Luckily Mark had interrupted the second coming of those fantasies and pushed a shot glass into your hand.

“Johnny said it’s Red Bull and rum,” Mark explained as he sniffed the liquid. “Oh he also said to grab another from him when you’re done.”

“Is he trying to kill us?” You winced after shooting down the warm liquid.

Mark shrugged and led the way back to the lounge area. “It’s better to be on his side than to be against him” Mark handed you another shot and sighed when Johnny pushed a glass into his own hands.

The house began filling up and everyone was hammered to say the least. You had no idea when last you’d gotten this drunk but it felt so good that you wanted to be trapped in this moment.

You found yourself in the middle of the makeshift dance floor, swaying against Taeyong who naturally held your waist as your back pressed against his chest. The two of you always ended up together on the dance floor as he was your go-to bedroom partner if one of your tinder dates fell through.

Taeyong also knew you had a thing for Jungwoo, and it was quite weird that the two of you would casually discuss your little crush after he rearranged your organs.

“Is tonight gonna be the night ?“ Taeyong whispered into your ear as he allowed you to grind against his pelvis.

“Fuck I don’t know, but I want him to have his way with me Goddd” you whined as Taeyong giggled at your eagerness. You focused your eyes on the people around you, searching for the blonde man in the red shirt until you noticed his tall figure standing on a chair near the back pouring God knows what alcoholic drink into Johnny's mouth.

“What the fuck are those morons up to ?” Taeyong groaned and pulled you through the crowd until the two of you reached the commotion. Jaehyun, Taeil and Johnny were standing around Jungwoo each taking turns drinking from the bottle while Doyoung looked ahead disapprovingly.

“Oh y/n is here! Come on it’s your turn” Johnny grabbed your wrist and pushed you in front of Jungwoo who crouched down to meet your height.

“You sure you want a taste princess ?” Jungwoo spoke, biting down on his lip when you pushed your hair back and opened your mouth with your tongue poking out.

“Now that’s a view I’d like to see more often” Jungwoo mused, lifting your chin with his thumb and slowly poured  the burning liquid down your throat.

You licked your lips clean and held out your hand making Jungwoo raise his eyebrow. “It’s your turn” you smiled and switched places with him on the chair. Jungwoo was in complete awe of you as he watched you adjust your satin mini dress and place a firm hand on his shoulder.

Taeyong cheered loudly with Johnny as Jungwoo downed the last bit of the drink while you and Jungwoo were still fixated on each other, the closeness driving the both of you absolutely crazy.

You noticed some of the liquid fell from his plump lips and took the opportunity to clean him up, with your tongue Ofcourse. The very bold action made your idiotic group of friends yell in unison while Jungwoo quickly turned your gesture into a mouth watering kiss. You felt euphoric. The mixture of the alcohol on his lips and his cologne enveloping you was intoxicating in the most sensual way.

You had no idea that the two of you were still in the hallway some time later, your back pressed against the wall and Jungwoo’s large frame pressed against you. His hands roamed your body while you sighed into his soft kisses, wishing the material between the two of you were gone to feel more of him.

“Your room or mine ?“ Jungwoo finally said, breaking the kiss.

“Yours” you answered, lips swollen from the prolonged kiss.

Jungwoo pulled you down the hallway until he finally reached his room and shut the door behind him. Most of your fantasies usually played out with being in his bed so finally being in this position made your tummy flutter with excitement.

“I didn’t know you were such a naughty girl y/n” Jungwoo brought his shirt over his head and laid you onto his bed, hovering over your figure. Your eyes took in his semi nude body and you squeezed your thighs together to give yourself a little friction.

“If you knew how much I wanted this, what took you so long ?” You quizzed as he shifted his weight to one hand and used the other to hike up your dress to your waist.

“I was waiting for your breaking point” Jungwoo smiled sweetly despite his fingers doing the opposite. You bit down on your lip as he removed your panties and nestled between your thighs. You thanked the fucking heavens that all those damn thoughts throughout the day finally manifested and here you were with Kim Jungwoo about to most likely give you one of the best orgasms of your life.

You got comfortable as he began kissing your inner thighs, closing your eyes and moaning everytime his soft lips came in contact with your skin. Jungwoo pushed your thighs apart and gave your folds its first kitten lick making you arch your back at the sudden contact. Once you got used to his tongue Jungwoo began eating you out like you were his last fucking meal. His tongue explored every part of your core and when it came in contact with your clit your orgasm was achingly close.

“Jungwoo I’m going to-“

Jungwoo quickly inserted two of his fingers and brought you to a bodily shaking orgasm. He couldn’t help but feel satisfied by how quickly he managed to bring you to your first orgasm of the night. Your chest heaved up and down as you came down from your high and your eyes lazily watched Jungwoo remove his pants.

“C-can I suck you off ?” You sat up, eyes trained on his boxer shorts as he grabbed his member through the material.

“I’m not sure I’m going to last long but I guess that means I’ll be fucking you for longer” Jungwoo replied and rubbed his thumb along your jaw. You excitedly sat on your knees and brought your dress over your head. You pulled his boxers down while Jungwoo unclasped your bra from behind, groaning in satisfaction at your now fully nude body.

“Don’t tease me baby” Jungwoo warned and you nodded obediently and got to work on his length. Placing your lips over his member you used your hands to pump him while taking him as far as you could in your throat. Jungwoo threw his head back and groaned, completely lost in your touch that he hadn’t noticed that you were staring up at him, taking in the glorious sight.

Once you found a steady rhythm Jungwoo already had a fistful of your hair and fucked your mouth until you could finally taste his seed slide down your throat. Jungwoo let out a loud moan as he finally came, pulling out of your mouth and taking in how hot you looked after face fucking you.

“There’s so much I wanna do but so little time hmm” Jungwoo sunk into the bed and pulled you on top of him, greeting you with a sloppy kiss.

“We’re house mates I’m pretty sure we can fit in whatever, whenever” you bit down on his lip and he lightly tapped your ass.

“Don’t be too open minded now baby” Jungwoo smirked as he began stroking his member between your thighs as his boner grew again. “If I had my way id be fucking you in every single bed in every single room of this house.”

“Sounds like fun” you replied, and sat up, straddling his hips and replaced his hand with yours around his member.

Once satisfied with his hard on, Jungwoo pushed himself up and guided your hips to sit on his length. You moaned his name as his size stretched you out and the position made you feel every inch of him. Jungwoo began aiding you while you rode him, keeping a firm grip on your hips making your hips meet his in an erratic fast paced rhythm.

“Fuck!” You threw your head back and Jungwoo took your nipple into his mouth, sucking while you muttered praises under your breath.

Jungwoo flipped you onto your back and entered you again, throwing your leg over his shoulder while his thumb rubbed circles on your clit. The sensation sent a shiver down your spine and before you knew it the second orgasm was on the way.

“You feel so good fuck” Jungwoo moaned, his sweet voice and praises made your heart race. His movements became sloppy and he mentally cursed himself that he was already at his peak.

Jungwoo allowed you to lock your legs around his waist as he captured your lips desperately, his tongue moving against yours as he locked your wrists above your head.

“Come for me baby” he grunted and on cue you felt yourself come undone beneath him, moaning his name as the second orgasm was even more intense than the last. Jungwoo quickly pulled out of your aching core and shoved his member into your mouth, happily finishing in your mouth for the second time that night.

Once he cleaned you up he collapsed next to you, your sweaty bodies both exhausted from the events that unfolded.

“That was fucking amazing” you sighed, nuzzling into him as he pulled you closer.

“I hope you know we’re not done” Jungwoo pinched your thigh.

“W-what ? H-huh?“ you looked up at him puzzled.

“We’re sweaty, and when I said I’m fucking you in every inch of this house I meant it” Jungwoo stretched his arms above his head, “let’s get into the shower, I’ll show you a little more of my…passion fruit eating skill.”

[limmastyles]

Im no professional critic and all that but (olivia i hope this reaches to you)

First of the whole preparation of the trailer and movie is fucking messed up till they had to do screenings again and again.

Secondly, Olivia dumbass its is so fucking obvious how uncomfortable and unnatural Harry looks while kissing Flo what makes you think adding that on the trailer is gonna gain interest from people? You didnt even hire a choreographer for them as its Harry's first time being intimate with a person on screen. Its not even rocket science even a toddler could state the obvious. And lets not forget abt the add up of sex scenes on the trailer itself... istg you're even more dumber than I thought

Thirdly, you went out really spoiling the whole plot of the movie in the first trailer itself and now a second one? I dont even have to watch the movie to understand the story bcse its already obvious.

Fourthly, you wanna claim yourself as a director you act like it and give credit the main character who's prolly gonna lift the whole movie image up. They made an article with freaking your name and Harry but where's Florence when SHE IS THE MAIN ONE? You're a director right? So I bet its not hard for you or any one of your dumbass minions to send an email to the magazine blog or whatever article blog who published it. This proves that you're using Harry's name for clout, attention and money. Stupid Olivia real fucking stupid.

Lastly, its already so obvious to everyone with every stuffs you're doing including stunts. Seriously miss maam, museum pic and trailer right after? At this point everything you do is so pathetic and predictable.

I would say stop every shit before its too late but you fucking brought it too far and even if he agrees to stunt where did your brain go? Down the toilet bowl while you're taking a dump? You should be the bigger person but instead you're doing the opposite. You may be a good mother to your kids which I doubt with all the pathetic runaway you do to follow around byt just remember you're ruining a man's reputation slowly.

And remember one thing, at this point you're just a clown to everyone with whatever you're doing. Same goes for Harry. Open your eyes and look beyond what is happening instead of staying in your bubble that's never gonna pop filled with negative energy in all sorts of way.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

The Fight

CW: Ableism against a child, references to attempted noncon/assault of a survivor, religious references to the Bible, conditioning, trauma recovery, trauma response

TIMELINE: Immediately post-Creepy Pet Lib Guy. Links in piece.

She hears his footsteps, the soft motion of him through the living room and into the den, where a single lamp is on in the corner on the side table next to the old couch Paul never could bear to throw out. Ronnie doesn’t look over at him, instead picking at a bit of duct tape affixed over a ripped spot while sipping her beer straight from the bottle.

There’s a show on the television - they have a new one finally, but Ronnie’s never thrown out a damn thing that wasn’t broken just because it got replaced and she’s not about to start now, so she moved it in here - but she’s not watching it. Not even sure what the show is, only that the laugh track is tinny and never seems timed to the moments of actual humor. 

The house is mostly silent, this late at night. There’s no sound but the occasional gurgle from the ice machine in the fridge, the soft hum of electronics that she never notices except when the power goes out, and then only because of its sudden absence. 

No sound but the television’s off-key laughter and the footsteps of her son, creeping up behind her. 

“Mommy?” His voice is so high and soft, fuzzy with sleepiness, and she turns with a tired smile to see him dragging his favorite blanket behind him along the floor. It’s a quilt she bought at a church’s Christmas market when he was two, and it had buttons sewn in with the patches, giving the cats the quilt is decorated with three-dimensional button eyes. 

His face is rounded and so like his father’s, even so, his face and eyes and his hair are all Paul’s, through and through. He’s an echo, a clone of his father, in a lot of ways… up to and including navigating a world that has already labeled him as difficult, and he’s only six years old.

“Hey, baby. What are you doing up?” She’s twenty-three with a six year old son, and doesn’t that seem strange, some days? So many of her friends from high school are still out until dawn, posting photos of their drunken shenanigans on Facebook, and here Ronnie sits… twenty-three, with a husband who works nights, and a six-year-old son whose teacher calls him hopeless, right to his fucking face.

“I, I, I had a bad dream,” He says, and his eyes are so, so big in his small round face. Paul’s eyes are like that, big and green and soulful. She’d fallen into them, her junior year, and she’d never wanted to climb back out. No matter that her friends thought he was weird, no matter that yeah, okay, he is weird - he’s her kind of weird, and she and Paul understood each other right from the start. 

“Oh, no.” She pats the couch cushion beside her and he clambers almost eagerly up to tuck himself in beside her. Her throat nearly closes as he carefully spreads his blanket out to cover them both, the simple gesture of care and love. How do you look this boy in the eyes and tell him he can’t do something? “What was your bad dream about, do you want to tell me?”

“Monsters,” He says, as if that single word relays all the information she could possibly need. Maybe it does, really - at least the monsters her son dreams about are easier to vanquish than the ones Ronnie has to help him learn how to face on his own as he grows.

“Good thing I monster-proofed this house before we moved in,” Ronnie teases. She moves her arm around his shoulders and he smiles, faintly, eyes closing as he leans his head against her collarbone, his ear right where he’s always wanted it, ever since birth - over her heart. Listening to her heartbeat. Sure enough, his fingers find their way to her stomach and start to tap in time with it, and Ronnie sips her beer again.

“Monsters aren’t, aren’t, aren’t real, actually,” He says, speaking quietly and without opening her eyes, and Ronnie thinks if her six-year-old well, actuallys her one more time… she read all the parenting books and has a whole shelf of parenting memoirs she’s picked up and not a single one mentioned that little kids are fucking know-it-alls. Not one.

“Well, if they’re not real, then why are you buggin’ Mommy at midnight because of dreaming about them, huh?” She keeps her voice light and affectionate, just this side of teasing. Tristan doesn’t react well to any kind of perceived anger or rejection, moping for a day or more around while his brain tries to process that she didn’t stop loving him just because he did something that bothered her. Tris as a toddler broke her heart more than once with terrified insistence that you, you, you don’t even like me anymore after time-outs or discipline.

He’s just being manipulative, her mother had said once, but Ronnie knew better. 

He’s three years old, Mom. He’s not trying to manipulate me, he’s scared.

He’s just doing what works, Veronica, you can’t always give in to it.

Mom. He is a little boy. Do you realize how you sound?

Now his teacher is repeating the same tired circular logic that cycles round and round her son without ever seeing him. Ronnie is staring down the barrel of another round of meetings, talking to administrators to try and get around the teacher’s rigidity and hostility, arguing for Tris to get moved into a new class, and all the while he’ll fall further and further behind in his in-class work - while at home he rockets through the homeschooling workbooks she buys, a six-year-old already doing second-grade reading and writing work, first-grade math, obsessed with a kid show about science that they have to watch every single day or he has seriously informed her he might die.

The knowledge is there, and his love of learning hasn’t been throttled by school yet, and Ronnie can’t do anything but try to work within a system that tells her that her son needs to be changed or cured in order to not be kept locked away from everyone else.

Monsters are pretty fucking real, in Ronnie’s experience. 

One day her son will have to learn that all the monsters are human beings.

God, she’s so tired of fighting, and so very aware that she’s not going to stop until the whole damn world remakes itself to give space for Tristan, until the world deserves how unreservedly her son loves it.

She takes another drink, then sets the beer bottle carefully down on the coaster - she ordered them last year, and they all have little stylized drawings of the three of them on it, faceless sketches of a man, a woman, a child - man and child red-headed, woman with brown hair. 

When she’d gotten the positive pregnancy test, right before Thanksgiving her junior year, she’d thrown up and cried for a week and been sullen and silent at the holiday table, trying to figure out what to do next.

But Paul had never hesitated. When she told him, his response had been to go home to his dad and ask to start working part-time with the Garden, running packages he never looked into, playing lookout outside of bars while the Garden met inside. His first pay - cash handed to him in an envelope - he’d spent some of it on a onesie, a baby blanket, and a stuffed puppy with fur so soft Ronnie could barely stand the fluff. 

Then he’d spent some more on ginger chews and ‘Preggo Pops’, lollipops that were supposed to help with Ronnie’s morning sickness, and three books on pregnancy for her and one book on becoming a dad for him. 

Paul did what Paul always did - took one look at a cliff he had to cross and simply leapt headfirst and hoped for the best. That impulsiveness that she loved and that had gotten him in so much trouble in life, the enthusiasm that carried her long with it.

There are monsters in the world, Ronnie thinks, running fingers through her son’s fine, soft hair. But there are people who help you fight the monsters, too. Even if the monster is just the stares from other students at school as her stomach grew, the way her friends’ parents stopped letting her come to their houses, the thin-lipped disapproval of the principal handing her a high school diploma as she half-waddled across the stage, refusing to be shamed, engagement ring on her finger. Even if the monster is a world that tries to shove her son into boxes that he can’t fit into, or a teacher who sends him home in tears convinced he’s too stupid to learn anything.

Her jaw sets.

Veronica Higgs has been headstrong since birth, and she’s never made a decision she didn't follow through on. Never turned away from a fight. She’s not about to start now, not when it’s her son.

Ronnie has never turned away from the sweet baby that had looked at her with such dark-eyed seriousness when he was born, the infant who cried for reasons Ronnie couldn't’ fathom, the toddler who screamed that the lights at Target hurt his skin, the little boy who lined up dinosaurs and cars and toy horses in perfect color gradients, the boy who rocks in her arms and hums when he’s happy, the boy she hopes will one day be able to live on his own without her, because…

Because if only Paul and Ronnie are going to fight for him, then they’re going to have to be a fight so fierce that everyone else can’t possibly hold out against them.

The doctors said he might not talk - and he talks a mile-a-minute, about any-fucking-thing that comes into his mind. They said he wouldn’t make friends easily, but he goes on sleepovers with his gymnastics buddies, just went to a party at Chuck E. Cheese with a little preparation so he wasn’t scared of the games and lights and noise when he got there. They said he would struggle in school, and-

Well, he does. But only because of the adults who refuse to understand that Tris learns just fine… if you let him listen in his own way.

“Hey, Tris?” She smiles down at him and he turns those big green eyes up to her. There’s a chapped spot on his lower lip that looks like he might have messed with it until it opened into a sore, and she reminds herself to get some vaseline on it. “You want to stay here with me for a bit? We’ll watch one of your shows, and then back to bed. How’s that sound?”

He smiles at her, and nods a little, still tapping along to her heartbeat. “Oh, oh, okay, Mom. Can, can, can… can-can… can we watch Dino King?”

“Yeah, sure.” Ronnie hates that show, but really - he loves it, and it’s one night, and she could use the way his open, brilliant happiness helps her forget that he’s going to have to work harder and harder to hold onto it as he grows.

She picks up the remote, brings up the menu, switches to a streaming network, and listens to the grating, familiar theme song start to play as her son’s eyes move contentedly to the screen. 

He watches the show, but he never takes his head away from her heartbeat.

---

Natalie Yoder has had easier nights than this one, that’s for fucking sure. She leans over the kitchen table, papers spread out in front of her, trying to figure out where they went wrong. This is one of their biggest grants, it’s a bit of funding that she has always relied on, and… denied approval for the upcoming fiscal year. 

Thousands of dollars she needs to feed and clothe and house her rescues, gone up in smoke, denied with a bloodless email and no ability to fight back, not for this one. Not this year. It could be a simple error, something she overlooked, sure. Or maybe the association that gives out the grants is suspicious of her story about transitioning homeless people into permanent housing, which really is exactly what she’s doing, isn’t it?

Just… not the kind of homeless people the grant givers are imagining.

She’ll have to call Vince to beg for him to help her fill in the gap, and that will mean time for him to speak with his finance guy and get another couple of shell companies to funnel the money through so it doesn’t go back to him. He’ll give it to her, to be sure - Vince could give her the money to run this place flat out for the rest of his life and still be one of the wealthiest men in America, thanks to his low-key lifestyle and strong work ethic meaning he spends more time filming or producing than he does doing anything else.

Nat knows why Vince doesn’t want to be home, to sit up alone with a bottle or a glass in his hand. She knows his work ethic is simply escaping the demons that will never stop haunting his footsteps, what he traded away for his success, what he lost, what the money and fame can protect him from but can’t remove the stamp of it already written over his soul.

He’s famous, and rich, and Owen Grant can’t touch him now… but the tradeoff of Vince’s survival was that some innocent kid was abducted and turned, through drugs and torture and horrifying assault, into Kauri.

Kauri, who hasn’t answered the phone or sent a text in a week.

Not since that fucking group meeting where Chris was assaulted and Kauri stood up for him. Not since Kauri’s intuition that Kyle had some less-than-savory interest in Chris had proven correct, because… it wasn’t intuition at all.

It was experience. 

Nat groans, rubbing her hands over her face, closing her eyes and reminding herself, teeth ground together, to try and stay calm. It’s not unusual for Kauri to disappear for a while, a week or more. It’s not a sign that something is wrong. He was hurt by Nat pushing him, he needs time to think. 

He’ll pop right back up again, smiling like nothing happened, like he isn’t giving Nat gray hairs (well, new ones, anyway) trying to tell herself he’ll be okay.

All she can do is trust that he’ll come back when he’s ready.

... and castigate herself for letting that fucking predator get close to Chris without picking up on what he was planning, and for not realizing Kauri wasn’t just being overprotective of a younger rescue, but - in his own way - waving giant red flags that Nat, and Jake, and everyone else just didn’t see.

That, and then losing the grant, have made for one hell of a fucking week.

Nat takes deep breaths. Her hands smell like dish soap and a hint of the roasted garlic she’d put in the soup for supper lingering. The kitchen still smells like the garlic, roasted parsnips and rosemary. Chris had never had parsnips before-

Not that anyone knows if he really hasn’t or not.

“Oh, Nat, you are a mess tonight,” She mutters to herself. “Just full-on moping, huh? That’s how we’re gonna play it?”

Then she hears the soft scrape of a foot on the tile and looks up, blinking, to see Chris in the doorway, leaning against the wood of the frame, the big purple fuzzy blanket she’d gotten him a few weeks back wrapped around his narrow shoulders, the hints of faded muscle that still linger there. Usually he’s draped in Jake’s clothes but tonight he’s only wearing his basketball shorts, no shirt at all.

The rare glimpse of so much of Chris’s skin - she hasn’t seen so much of him since the night he arrived in the pouring rain - tells Nat more than anything else that Chris isn’t okay, either. 

“Hey, Chris. What’s up, sweetheart?” Nat glances over at the oven, squinting at the clock, and then groans. “Jesus, it’s nearly 2 am. I lost track of time, I guess.”

Chris doesn’t move from the doorway, not at first. He’s gone quiet again, since the assault, regressing back into periods of stillness and silence that they were so sure he’d gotten past. Jake says he’s testing again, trying to push Jake and Antoni into repeating the patterns that were tortured into his mind as normal, reacting with relief at their rejections - and then testing again, within hours, reminding himself that they’ll never say yes.

Nat looks at him, the shadows under his green eyes, and tries, “Did you have a nightmare?”

He slowly nods, and she watches his hands twist a little into the soft fabric of his blanket, rhythmically twisting to the side and back, nearly invisible with how well he can hide what he does to soothe himself, a skill taught in all the worst ways, learned in a desperate attempt to keep himself sane.

“Hm. I can see that. Was it about the meeting, the other night?”

His eyes dance away from hers, move to the ceiling, and he’s staring upwards at the rough texture up there as he nods, chewing on his lower lip with his top teeth, worrying at a spot that she knows he’ll eventually work to bleeding, sooner or later. He pauses and says, softly, “Kauri… didn’t come find me. That was, was my... my dream. And... it. It hurt.”

His voice, slow drips of speech, hits Nat like a knife to the heart. She nods, slowly, and pushes herself up, chair scraping back across the tile. Chris flinches minutely at the sound, curling a little into himself. “I understand, sweetheart,” She says, softly. “I’m so sorry we didn’t know sooner.”

She thinks, looking at him, of Daniel in the lion’s den, an old Bible story that’s never left her. Daniel trusted God and walked out unscathed, but she’s always thought maybe he wasn’t quite as unscathed as the Bible wants you to think he was. 

It’s one thing to have faith that you’ll survive being thrown in with monsters - it’s another to be so inhuman that you don’t wake with nightmares, for months or years after, that you were never saved at all. She is certain, deep down inside of her, that Daniel dreamed of a lion’s teeth and a promise broken, a prayer unheard.

The stories talk about Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in a furnace walking out of the flames untouched, but of course the flames had still touched them. Scars aren’t always written openly on your skin. 

Of course they dreamed of flames scorching their skin, curling their hair, smoke stealing breath from their lungs. They, like Daniel, must have woken gasping, certain that their faith had been misplaced, that their trust that someone stood between them and the monsters who would destroy them had been betrayed.

They must have breathed, panting, in the middle of the night, and sworn they could still see the smoke in the air, feel the heat against their skin. 

They must have needed to come fully awake to remember - and believe - that they had been rescued. They must have needed the reminder.

Chris has no scars from walking with monsters - all his scars are inside his head. Chris’s scars come in his fear that she will not want him, that no one really wants him, when he can’t fight back or say no or defend himself, when he needs someone else to be his defense, to go to war. They come in his insistent, constant testing of Jake, pushing to see if it’s all been a lie, if they only want to use him the way he has been taught he is made to be used.

“Kauri was smarter than any of the rest of us,” Nat says, feeling suddenly exhausted. “We should have listened. I shouldn’t have had to step in. You deserved better.”

Chris deserves a fucking angel to lead him untouched out of the flames.

All he has is Jake - and Nat. 

She fills a saucepan with cold milk while he watches her, his eyes on her back a tangible, palpable weight, and pops a lid on, turning the dial until the flames flicker up from the burner to start heating it to a simmer. 

“I’m going to have hot chocolate the old fashioned way,” She announces, pulling down a bag with some discs of melting chocolate in it. They cost too much and mostly nobody notices the difference, but tonight… tonight, she thinks the extra effort is worth it. “You want whipped cream on yours, when it’s done?”

“Yes, please,” He whispers, and she looks over at him with a small smile. His hair is mussed still from sleep, a hint of red on his cheek where he must have had it pressed into a pillow. His freckles stand out in the thin light of the kitchen’s overhead light fixture. 

Next door, at Miss Ruth’s, a light turns on, and Nat glances through her own window to see it. Jaden, probably - that kid sleeps about as little as Chris does.

“Well, good, because I’m having some, too.” She pauses, leaning her back against the kitchen counter. There’s a long silence that draws out between them. The milk heats, bubbling just the tiniest bit around the edges in the saucepan, and Nat carefully drops in the chocolate discs to melt whisking until the liquid is a rich brown, thickened, ready for her to pour carefully into two mugs and top with the spray-bottle whipped cream she keeps in the fridge.

Nat sets the mugs down on the kitchen table, pulling Chris a chair up right next to hers. He relaxes a little at the tacit, silent request for closeness, drops into his chair with a slight smile playing over his face. He picks up the mug with both hands and takes a sip, getting whipped cream at the end of his nose, wiping it off with a scrunched-up expression that lifts some of the fatigue that dogs Nat’s muscles in the early-morning hours.

“I know the dreams are scary,” Nat says softly, reaching out to lay a hand on his back. He looks over at her, with those giant green eyes in his narrow face, searching for something in her. Maybe just for certainty that the promises she’s made to him will be kept. “But Kauri did come to help you. And you’re safe here, with us. We’ll always come for you, Chris, no matter what.”

He leans over, with slow inevitability, until the top of his head brushes against her neck, his head just at her collarbone. She lets her arm slide around his shoulders, her hand moving to run fingers slowly through his fine, soft coppery hair. “I, I, I forgot how to say no,” He whispers, and presses his head against her. 

“I know, honey. But that’s okay, we get back up and try again, right?” Nat sips her own hot chocolate slowly, and Chris holds his cupped warm in his palms, but even as he keeps taking sips, he doesn’t pull away from her. Eventually, he puts the mug back down on the table and shifts a little, so his ear is just over her heart.

“We, we, we try again,” He whispers. “But, but, but I don’t want to, to, to, I don’t-... want to be, um, to be scared again, to… have someone-”

“I know.” Nat swallows, her throat closing, briefly, but she fights it back and keeps her voice - and her hand through his hair - steady as she speaks. “There are going to be bad people out there, Chris, who want to hurt you. But you’re not alone.”

She thinks again of Daniel, waking from nightmares of gnashing teeth, maybe kicking off blankets and pacing a room, his skin written invisibly with the aftermath of a terror that never punctured skin. She thinks of three men in a fire, dreaming again and again that the fourth never arrived to lead them out of the flames.

She thinks of promises made, and kept. Prayers spoken in desperation, and answered, although so often far too late.

She thinks of the prayers for mercy, in the cold white rooms, that are never heard at all.

She’s tired, but she loves them - all of them, who have passed through her doors and gone on to other places - and she can’t imagine being anything but their army, their defense, the wall they can hide behind to rebuild themselves until they fight on their own. 

Not on their own, though, never really on their own.

She may never know what happened to him, to bring him here to her doorstep - but she knows that he doesn’t have to face the monsters, the flames, the danger alone. Not anymore.

“You’re safe here,” She says, gently, and turns her head to rest her chin on top of his head. “You’re safe here, and loved, and there’s nothing we won’t do to make sure you’re safe. Whatever comes at you, sweetheart, we’ve got you. And we’ll fight it for you, every time, until you can fight for yourself.”

There’s a beat of silence, and then he asks, in a whisper, “Do, do, do you you-you promise?”

“Promise, Chris. Cross my heart and hope-”

“Don’t-... don’t say the, the end of it.” His voice weakens. “Please.”

“Sorry, sweetie.” She tightens the arm around his shoulders a little, and feels him snuggle closer in response, a low sigh of relief at the reassurance in the embrace. “Swear on everything. I’ve got you, and Jake has got you, and we’re not gonna disappear. I don’t-... I don’t know if we can always save the day for you, Chris, but I can promise you that we will always try.”

He hums, eyes closing. One of his hands slides over her stomach, and begins - slight, soft, barely-there - to tap. 

It takes Nat a few seconds to realize that he is tapping along to the beat of her heart.

---

Tagging: @burtlederp, @finder-of-rings, @endless-whump, @whumpfigure, @slaintetowhump, @astrobly  @newandfiguringitout  , @doveotions  , @pretty-face-breaker, @boxboysandotherwhump  , @oops-its-whump  @moose-teeth  , @cubeswhump  , @cupcakes-and-pain  @whump-tr0pes  @whumpiary  @orchidscript, @itallcomesdowntopain

[heresathreebee]

A Real Date

[Ava Starr x Female!Reader] 

Summary: You and Ava trying a dinner date that goes very wrong (just kidding it's actually fine). 

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Word count: 1.8k words

Warning(s): 13+ | no-snap au, post-Ant Man and the Wasp, swearing, internalized homophobia(?), I think I’m working through something here this might be a little personal (sorry in advance), past relationship angst, presumed past of dating multiple genders but there is no definitive sexuality established for reader in the present, this was going to be something else but the story took over and I had to roll with it. 

Author's note: no-snap au, post-Ant Man and the Wasp. I’m sorry I do not edit anymore, it only serves to stand in my way. This is part 3 of Ava Starr series beginning with Strawberry Soda. Art by Artmilla on DeviantArt (correct me if I’m wrong please)

It's important to note that not everything you see in media is the hegemonic truth. Take sapphic dating rituals for example: in media it’s a constant joke about how fast people move in together and own pets and plants like they were soulmates and always meant to be together. Which is nice to see– it’s not meant to be a cruel joke– but it does paint a picture of perfection. It doesn’t explicitly state whether your future wife is your first or fiftieth girlfriend but it sure as shit might lead you to believe every girl might be your last. 

Real people don’t work that way. Real people have different interests, different lives, different traumas, different styles and needs. Every relationship is new and it has to be done deliberately and with care for what you and your partner want. So when you think about your relationship with Ava you can’t help but feel a little guilty. 

Ava seems to like to take things slow. Your relationship prioritizes quality time over physical touch which you're fine with, but you can’t help it if you compare the details to other people you’ve dated. You’ve known each other for three months and in every other relationship by this time, you and your previous partners had hit a ton of milestones that you and Ava had just… not. So when you bring up the prospect of a ‘real date’ to Ava one night while cooking pasta in your kitchen, Ava chuckles. 

“And what exactly constitutes as a ‘real date?’” 

The television is playing some daytime television game show and the volume’s on low. You pass her the salt and take a swig from your beer with a shrug. Already you feel silly for bringing it up. 

“Dinner. A movie. Sometimes both, I guess,” you say, flustered. 

Ava raises an eyebrow at the softening bowtie noodles in the pot. “We’re having dinner right now…? Name one time we haven’t come back to your place to watch a movie.” 

“The time the power went out and we played jenga by candlelight. But I– I mean like a date outside of the house.”

“We go to out to parks, the antique mall, lunch, the arcade–” 

“Well, yeah I guess you’re right I just don’t know I still feel like–”  

“Again, how is any of it different from a ‘real date?’” 

“I don’t know! Just… just forget it.” you’re trying not to be bitter about it but you don’t even know what you mean so how could you explain it? 

Ava calls your name softly and you already feel hot shame lick up your neck when you see her face. “I didn’t mean it like that, I– I just don’t think I understand what you mean and I want to! Honestly…” 

You sigh and lean closer to her, careful not to touch but you want her to know you’re not mad. “No, I’m sorry. I just… I’ve been stuck on it for a week but I can’t seem to figure out why. Everything you’re saying I agree with but there’s still this nagging voice in my head telling me it’s not fair or I’m doing it wrong but I don’t know what it even is and I–” 

You collapse onto the kitchen floor breathless. What the fuck were you even saying? Why was this bothering you so much? What ‘s different about this relationship than any other relationship you’ve already had? Your eyes are darting back and forth and your head is a million miles away. You keep talking as if saying it out loud will make your impulsive and intrusive thoughts and motivations clearer to you. 

“It’s out of order. No, it’s not but it’s… with Jordan and Becky and Hal, I went on three dates before it felt normal. We did the traditional getting to know you stuff. Damien and Palavi were straight physical– not traditional at all but that still felt good enough somehow. And– and it’s not that I don’t believe what we have isn’t real, I just–

“Fuck, I don’t know! It feels a little like my relationship with Kat.” You can’t believe it but then the words were out there. You had never told anybody about Kat– Ava was still learning about the rest of them– but the instant those words left your mouth you regretted them. Ava was not Kat. 

For instance, Ava slipped down to sit beside you on the floor– Kat would never lower herself to meet your eye. Ava looked at you and she saw you– Kat chose to ignore your feelings whenever it became more convenient to do so. Kat made you feel special and yet not special enough– OK maybe they shared a little bit of that. A tiny, micro piece of that. 

“What was Kat like?” She said the words softly and without an ounce of jealousy. 

You gather your mind with a deep breath. “Dating Kat was like being strapped to a rocket. It was like being a part of something bigger and stronger than me. Being with her made me feel inconsequential and sometimes I liked that, but then… then I realized I was just a dirty little secret. Kat liked me because I was convenient to her, not because she actually cared about me. 

“When we talked or hung out, it had to be on her terms. No public, no friends or family, no social media. No one was allowed to know. She passed it off as just wanting me for herself but after she dumped me for something better I realized she never saw me as her equal. And it just… I was already in a dark place and that place just kind of got a whole lot darker after that. I felt especially not special.” 

You lean back and rest your head on the cabinet under the sink. “I know that’s not you. Maybe I’m just tired of feeling like I have to hide a part of myself. I did a lot of stupid things in the public eye with Palavi, maybe part of that was because I was proud of who I am and I wanted everyone to know it?” 

“I think I care too much about what other people think of me,” you said closing your eyes. 

You didn’t expect to feel Ava lean her head against your shoulder but you don’t pull away. God, you could never pull away even as you worry she may be causing herself harm just to comfort you and your rambling. Her hair tickles a bit and smells like strawberries and lavender. 

Ava lifted her head after a moment. “Let’s go on a real date then.” 

~

Why the fuck were you so nervous? This was your idea! You had trouble picking a restaurant and picking a day and picking your clothes out and picking where to sit. So many choices with so much meaning or none at all. You just need this to be perfect because you hoped maybe this is what you need to stop that nagging in your head. 

You made the call to meet each other there. You made the suggestion that it had to be somewhere nice– as in get dressed up nice. And darling, sweet, patient Ava let you have the control you so desperately needed. She offered suggestions here and there, and it helped you narrow everything down to a science. You feel a little self conscious sitting by yourself in your get up but you knew she'd be there on time. 

It's just a matter of whether or not you could sit still for five more minutes. 

You hold the cloth napkin in your palms to try and soak up the sweat. Forcing yourself to sit unnaturally still and you haven't touched your wine because you just know you'll get it everywhere somehow. Your eyes trace over the table to stop yourself from meeting the eyes of other patrons. Do nothing, wait it out. 

Ava is stunning and you don't know she's there until the wait staff places the dinner menus in front of you. So much for pulling out her chair like you wanted to– but she's here and you break out into a big smile. 

"You look amazing," you tell her. 

Ava smiles and takes a sip of the rosé you ordered. The dim lighting in the room seems to soften the contours of her face but never the sharpness of her bright eyes. Something blossoms inside you and you feel it– that thing that's been bothering you like a knot in your stomach turns into a seed and its flowering now. This is your girlfriend. Not your friend who is a girl– your significant other. She's important to you and she has decided that she feels the same way about you. 

You feel your body unwind, reaching across the table like you might touch her hand then stop an inch from her empty plate. She watches you curiously but without fear. After a beat, it's Ava who finishes the contact. She slips her hand into yours and you are delighted to discover she's not a corporeal being you've convinced yourself is real. Her skin is a little dry around the palm and she has calluses you never knew were there and she's real and this is happening. 

You resist the urge to squeeze her fingers. Let her lead. Trust her to move away if she experiences any pain. She looks away from you with a flustered face you've never seen her wear and takes another draft of her wine. 

"This is nice," she says softly. 

You eat off each others' plates and you laugh together, and if anyone's watching you wouldn't know because for once you couldn't give a rat's ass what anyone thinks. You're with your person, for now or forever doesn't matter because she's letting you hold her hand and talk about a play you want to take her to on Saturday. Your heart flutters in your chest the whole way home and it’s not until you’re standing at your front door does her hand finally slip from yours. The feeling lingers though and your face hurts from smiling. 

“This everything you wanted,” she asked. 

“Yes,” you reply, “yes it was. Thank you for indulging me, it’s exactly what I needed.” 

“I enjoyed it too.” She steps closer, seemingly reluctant to leave just yet. “We’re still going to see Rocky Horror Picture Show, right?” 

“Absolutely,” you beam, “trust me, you’re gonna love it, it’s wild.” You blow her a kiss to send her on her way and spend the next hour giggling to yourself until you finally pass out from exhaustion.

[imeverywoman420]

Im actually very normal im trying to figure out how to date and navigate relationships with pure intentions and understand the world around me… its everyone else thets fucked up. I want love and commitment for the sake of love. I want my lover in my bed every morning and every night. thats it i dont need him to give me social status to expand my mind or give my life a purpose or do rocket science i just want to be held but common platonic ideals of women say that i shouldnt experience physical attraction to men and my interest in men should be like a career.

[queennicoleinboots]

A Special PBC Royalty News Report by Stan Doe and Chrissy, submissive queen of nomenclature with many titles

"PRINCE BANANA ICE SHUT UP! WE'RE ABOUT TO BE LIVE!" King Bruce Ice shouted as he wore a huge silver crown on his head. He was staring at Prince Banana Ice.

Prince Banana Ice still couldn't stop giggling. He had a gold crown over his more ridiculous mohawk.

"You already are, King Bruce Ice," Chrissy, submissive queen of nomenclature with many titles spoke.

"OH SHIT!" King Bruce Ice said with a loud growl.

Chrissy, submissive queen of nomenclature with many titles started laughing. "I love this job."

Squire Blinky was wearing a blue sash over his shoulders with his light teal long-sleeved button-down shirt and blinking the news.

Count Vanilla wore a black cape with his white polo shirt with the pocket on the left breast. He was growling the news.

Prince Banana Ice was giggling as he translated what they were saying, "Hahaha. I'm sorry. This is definitely going on Youfail.cahm. But yes, Jaybird, a goat who is literally a GIANT FLOATING HEAD HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA." He was snort-laughing and failing miserably to contain himself.

"I'm sorry, PBC viewers. My son uncontrollably laughs literally when he sees a floating head. He gets that condition from his father. Jaybird, the giant floating goat head, will tell us the significance of AI script writing and its reflections on the living beings' condition as soon as my son stops hysterically laughing... I'm surprised his larynx still works," Queen Gloria spoke as she wore a bright gold intricate crown on her head.

Prince Banana Ice was covering his mouth and had his head on the desk as he was heaving and laughing.

"Thank you, Queen Gloria," Jaybird said as his head took up the entire screen.

Prince Banana Ice lost it and literally fell out of his chair laughing. The other members of the royalty news family stared at him with concern. Count Vanilla suppressed a giggle.

"Seriously. What the hell is so funny about my floating head?" Jaybird asked. "Is he good?"

"No, he's fucked up," King Bruce Ice said as a matter-of-factly as Prince Banana Ice was laughing hysterically and flying around the studio with his rocket shoes yet again. Blinky and Count Vanilla were now laughing hysterically.

"CLEARLY!" Jaybird's voice boomed as he, too, started laughing uncontrollably. "Chrissy, submissive queen of laughter tolerance and nomenclature, can you please close-caption my broadcast. Hahahahahaha! I can't do this. This is the second time that RIDICULOUS bear has started flying around the studio while laughing hysterically for no... HAHAHAHAHAHA apparent HAHUEHA reason!" The flying goathead was now laughing, crying, and shaking.

The news crew that were off-camera were also laughing.

Chrissy, comedian who also was breaking down with laughter, was putting closed captions on Jaybird's floating head. They read:

"In my opinion, the most interesting part of Bouregard [the AI playwright] has been his way of teaching us patterns in science fiction storytelling. Bouregard's writing sounds original and crazy, but it's still based on what living beings actually write. Oscar the Grouch calls these results the 'average' of everything Bouregard looked at. Certain phrases kept coming up again and again. There's an interesting recurring pattern in Moonfall where characters say, 'WHAT IS THAT?!,' 'NO, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS?!,' and 'DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS, BECAUSE I SURE DON'T.' They're questioning the environment and questioning what’s in front of them. There's a pattern in sci-fi movies of characters trying to understand the environment. Interestingly, Oscar the Grouch has developed a writing pattern similar to Bouregard. He just regurgitates on the paper and hopes the audience likes that written vomit flavor of the week. Xara's writing has become more and more like that. It shows how much of a joke the writing community has become in 2021. When the writing becomes degenerate, the whole society becomes degenerate. I'm actually trying to write a REAL memoir with Sci-Fi tropes. I'm not regurgitating, but if I did, who the hell would care, ya know? Does anyone really know what's going on in the writing community anymore?"

"Frankly, I'm not sure. Your report seems to sum it up, though. Thank you for your report, Jaybird," Chrissy, submissive queen of nomenclature with many titles said while trying to be serious again.

"You're welcome, Chrissy, submissive queen of nomenclature with many titles. I'm in pain from laughter. Thank you," Jaybird said as he was trying to breathe.

"You're welcome, Jaybird. I've been trying to write, but between having to file five weeks of paperwork to even get on the Green Planet in the first place, getting everyone off of the ship, feeding 46 very hungry pups, and having back to back broadcasts, I just don't have the time. The public doesn't know what secretaries GO THROUGH," Chrissy, submissive queen of nomenclature with many titles said.

"PREACH! Being a secretary is a nightmare. I had to file two weeks of paperwork to merely deliver goods to... Prince Banana Ice... I can't get over that name. And that was horrid. Aye. I couldn't imagine the paperwork for permanent residence on this planet," Queen Gloria said.

Prince Banana Ice's rocket shoes were tied together and hanging like Christmas lights on a clothesline over the entire royal newscast. Prince Banana Ice was wiping his eyes and trying to compose himself.

"It was drrrrrreeeeeaaaadful. Speaking of secretarial work, where the hell is Xara? And more importantly, where is PRINCE PETER WALLACE PARKER!? I haven't even so much seen her or HIM in the break room lately! What is going on?! They are scheduled to do reports! Especially Prince Peter," Chrissy, submissive queen of nomenclature with many titles said strongly.

"I have no idea, but Xara's writing is definitely funny at least. As for Prince Peter, he has mastered the disappearing act. No one ever knows where he is," Pastor Penn said as he wore a gold sash over his gray polo shirt. He changed shirts in the commercial break.

"I quite agree. It's sensational in the most unsensational of ways. It says a lot and says nothing. It's the most untalented talent I have ever had the guilty pleasure of reading," Prince Oliver: Werewolf of the United Planets spoke as he wore a small silver crown on his head.

"I share your sentiment, Prince Oliver: Werewolf of the United Planets," Pastor Penn said.

"Admittedly me, too. Ummm... Xara's writing... ummm... is so bad that it's good.... uggghhhh.... I'm good with her NOT doing her broadcast right now," Prince Banana Ice stammered as he nervously looked around the room and tapped his fingers together. "And-and-and I'm definitely not ready for Prince Peter. Not even a little. Nope Nope Nope nope."

Count Vanilla growled eighteen times.

"I know it's not technically my choice of when their broadcasts are due, but ummmm..." Prince Banana Ice spoke softly as he looked down at the desk and blushed.

"Why does it matter when they are broadcasting?" King Bruce Ice asked.

"I believe I know the answer," a tall black goat with a melodic deep voice answered. His fur was brushed perfectly, and his soft brown eyes glowed in the lights.

"Please enlighten us, Stan Doe. We have to do something while Xara and Peter are making us wait!" Chrissy, sub with many titles said with a loud sigh.

The camera showed Stan Doe wearing a gray suit, white shirt, and a red tie. "Yes. I am Stan Doe, a brother reporter of Chrissy and her unlimited titles. Prince Banana Ice is not ready for Xara's or Prince Peter's broadcast because they are XARA's and PRINCE PETER'S broadcasts. It's not the content. It's the people reporting them. Also, pronouns are important," he spoke in a deep voice. He was more intelligent than most other goats.

"Correct! Wow! Someone who understands me!" Prince Banana Ice shouted with glee.

"Okay," King Bruce Ice said with his eyebrow raised. "Why are you not ready for XARA or PRINCE PETER to report?"

"OH COME ON! DO I REALLY NEED TO EXPLAIN THAT ON INTERGALACTIC NEWS?!" Prince Banana Ice shouted as the blush deepened on his face as he untied his shoes from the clothesline quickly.

"Probably not," Pastor Penn stated.

"Thank you," Prince Banana Ice said as he put his shoes back on. He was probably ready to use them at any minute.

"But I will," Steve Doe said as the camera went back to him. "Prince Banana Ice is nervous around most females and males he thinks are more attractive than he is. When in company of several females or very attractive men, you will find him hiding on the ceiling or under a desk. Why? Even *I* have no idea."

Prince Banana left his crown on the desk in front of his chair and was off-camera.

King Bruce Ice chuckled. "So... when are Xara and Prince Peter getting here?"

King Joebear intercepted the transmission with his naked black bear body and a gold crown on his head. "GQ?"

"National Geographic," King Bruce Ice said. "By the way, I guess every bear in the League of Extraordinary Bears is now in the Royal Court of Royal Bears. More news will be reported on the Royal Court of Royal Bears when we figure out who is doing what role in the Royal Court of Bears. But luckily, we have ironed out most of the members in the Royal Court of Royal Bears. Again, more of the story will come."

"Yes, Bruce... King Bruce Ice. I noted the crown. I've been busy playing Magic The Gathering. It's degenerate, so it isn't newsworthy," King Joebear said.

"You play MTG, too?!" Prince Banana Ice asked as he leaned into the camera and looked at King Joebear.

"Yes. Do you?" King Joebear asked.

"Yes. I'm only *the* Master Deck Builder on this side of Glorgia," Prince Banana Ice said with a smug smile.

"No, dude. That title belongs to me," King Joebear spoke.

"...Doubt it," Prince Banana Ice said with a smirk.

King Bruce Ice growled to stop that conversation. "Where is your wife, King Joebear?"

"Queen Xara is actually taking a dump. She apologizes for being late to the broadcast," King Joebear said.

"THE MORE IMPORTANT QUESTION IS, IS SHE ALL RIGHT?! AND DO YOU KNOW WHERE PRINCE PETER IS?! I MUST KNOW IMMEDIATELY!" Chrissy, sub of many titles shouted.

"Yes. She is watching your broadcast and taking a dump. I haven't seen or heard from Prince Peter in weeks, Chrissy... are you royalty?" King Joebear asked.

"ABSOLUTELY NOT! I WOULD NEVER INSULT THE WORD 'ROYALTY' BY ASSOCIATING MYSELF WITH IT! KING JOEBEAR, you honor me, but I do not deserve that honor," Chrissy, sub of many titles said dramatically.

Everyone clapped. Chrissy, sub actress of nomenclature, was a great actress. She should have been a Broadway star.

"Thank you, everyone. Does anyone have any pressing news while we wait for Xara, OH MY GOD... NESS! QUEEN XARA! I REPEAT, QUEEN XARA! EXCUSE ME!" Chrissy, Submissive Drama Queen said as her greenish yellowish hazel eyes were about to pop out of her head.

"Submissive Drama Queen Chrissy, you're all right," I said as I showed up on the screen from the neck up.

"Oh heavens, Queen Xara. I missed you! Are you ready to do your broadcast?" Submissive Drama Queen Chrissy asked. "And do you know where Prince Peter is?! Also, a side note. I need that video AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!"

Submissive Drama Queen Chrissy wanted a private video of my audition to be a news anchor should my cleaning business have trouble getting registered with the local government in 2022 due to jab requirements that I will forever refuse to comply with.

Prince Banana Ice screamed and flew up to the ceiling. How the hell does he stick to the ceiling? Is he a spider bear?

"No. I'm not. Hehehe. I'm looking for Prince Peter, too. I assume he is hiding from the world due to another strain of the Plague appearing. I noticed that he was having more difficulty floating than usual. Maybe he is having second thoughts about being jabbed again. I am sorry that I haven't done the video yet. I have been busy with... stuff," I said as I looked at Prince Banana Ice now sprawled out on the ceiling as he tried desperately to hide from the camera. I giggled. "Is Prince Banana Ice good?" I giggled again.

Prince Banana Ice hyperventilated as he stared at me from the ceiling with wide eyes before he gulped. "Yeah. I'm fine up here. REALLY! Quick, can someone else do a broadcast?" Prince Banana Ice asked.

"Yes. I can. And it is very urgent! ....Queen Chrissy, can you provide me with an hour to broadcast? This is very urgent!" Pastor Penn asked.

"Hang on. Xara, dammit Queen Xara. What the hell is wrong with me tonight?!" Submissive Drama Queen Chrissy asked.

"You're nervous, Submissive Drama Queen Chrissy. What do you need?" I asked.

"May I give Pastor Penn 60 minutes of air time?" Submissive Drama Queen Chrissy asked. "I need something to keep my mind off of PRINCE PETER'S ABSENCE!"

"Oh yeah! I love Off Grid Desert Farming with Penn and Alexia. Best news channel ever," I said.

"Thank you, Xara. You're one of my favorite contributors. I'd love to talk more, but I have GOT to get this news out," Pastor Penn said.

"No problem. Pastor Penn. You have the floor," I said.

"Thank you. And we must thank Squire Blinky, Count Vanilla, Prince Banana Ice, Queen Gloria, King Bruce Ice, Jaybird, Stan Doe, Queen Chrissy, and last but not least Prince Oliver: Werewolf of the United Planets for their contributions to today's broadcast," Pastor Penn said.

Everyone thanked Pastor Penn and nodded to him. Prince Banana Ice chuckled one last time before he flew the fuck out of the news studio.

"Thank you. We will be right back with a 60-minute special with Pastor Penn and Off Grid Desert Farming with his wife, Alexia after another 15-minute commercial break and another long period of time before PRINCE PETER ARRIVES! GOOD HEAVENS!," Submissive Drama Queen Chrissy spoke to the camera with a needy look before dramatic elevator music played in the background.

[huntsman-ash]

RWBY LiveThoughts: V8E7

Since I finally have time for it today, lets make sure Im all caught up for the hiatus. 

Before we get fully started, an idea; Its not a war crime if they’re Grimm. Then its just self defense. So break out the napalm, the cluster bombs, the chemical weapons, the fun stuff. Make em regret it, yeah?

And we start off...on a farm. Looks like my moms old farm in South Dakota. Even on Remnant, hay is best used in bales.

Waiiiit. Thats the place the Whale set down isnt it. I see a Sayber running. Ah, and the Atlas military! Surely, the vanguard of a massive force to hold the line! Also Im glad to see a close up of the helmet for once, I want to make my own. Also, the gloves, and the rifle itself. Not sure why it doesnt have a stock, seems kind of silly...

And airships too, so they got some fire support...whats that wall behind them though?

Also it TOOK US 8 FUCKING SEASONS to get a close up of these FUCKING Weapons. 8. FUCKING. SEASONS. Okay maybe more like 5 cause they didnt first appear till 3 or so but come on. Im so picking this shit apart later. 

Pfft, bros got some nerves going on. Come on man, its just some Grimm, you’ll be FINE.

Atlas field harvesters resemble Halo’s JOTUN Farming equipment. As wel as our own. No surprise there.

Alright, bunch of Saybers, not seeing much of a threat here.

Hey, Paladins! Damn, they...look way different than I remember them to be. 

I wont lie, I dont like the Paladin design. Way to much visual noise, I cant tell where anything IS. 

Also that is the most 2D grass I have sever seen in my fucking life. What the hell are they growing here...

Huh, the whale has two sets of teeth. Wait, its just there? And its wpewing out Grimm. So...why isnt the air force firing on it? 

Yeah its not moving, its just raising its head and slamming down and vomiting out more Grimm. Im not sure what the issue is here, just...seal the mouth. 

Oh, huh. Apathys. Let me guess, RTs gonna try and tell us depression is going to kill most of Atlas. Oh for fuck sake. IM NOT IMPRESSED RT. IM REALLY NOT. IM MORE FUCKING ANNOYED THAN ANYTHING

Okay so...I see what this is. Its farm land outside of atlas proper and there’s an additional wall behind them, plus the power lines I guess? Seems like a viable place to make a stand. 

...thats it. Please tell me this is just a single detachment of the Atlas military because there is less firepower here than a NATIONAL GUARD UNIT ASSIGNED TO ONE CITY

Im fairly certain there are more people assigned to ONE UNIT attached to JBLM then I amm seeing here. 

Not to mention this is an OPEN FIELD the Grimm have to run through. This is a literall fucking TURKEY SHOOT. Running across an open field anywhere is a ticket to DYING.

Just ask the poor fucks on D-day.

Also uh...why is everyone in line formation? What is this, fuckin’ 18009s combat Napoleon style?

And did the distance suddenly change, I feel like the whale suddenly got a hell of a lot closer.

Just...I dont get this. This makes no sense. Did Ironwood learn how to deploy forces from a fairy tale book? This is legitimately some fuckin Lord of the Rings shit here.

RIP that one specific trooper hit by that Behemoth though. Dont worry friend, the thing walked next to a Paladin. Its getting its eye blasted out

And cut back to Ironwood. Doing...fuck if I know what.

Staring angrily it seems.

“Dammit, my tactical deployment by line formation and parade ground tactics isnt holding back the Grimm, curses!”

Well MAYBE IF YOUD THOUGHT TO INVEST IN SOME FUCKING AIR SUPPORT...Seriously.

I know people have told me why this is. I understand myself why this is. But it really just...does...not...jibe with me. At all. 

Okay so more details; first, apparently Atlas has a subway. Makes sense, its a big island. Inter-system transits probably a given. Second; Was that Mantis Squad Omega? Some kind of unit maybe...interesting.

 Also I love how this guy just questions Ironwood. Like, bro, if the General says do it, do it.

Hold the fuck up, why is everyone outside? It looks like fuckin’ Cali during our lockdowns...what ever happened to martial law huh?

Also “underground subway stations”. Yes, thats...kind of what a subway IS. I guess maybe they have overhead ones like New York does. Mass transit be weird like that.

I mean HELL the signs on it are almost identical to the ones in NYC too! Even with the colored circles and train cnumbers. 

According to the sign here they’re at Pickens Square Station. 

Oh boy. Ironwood just fed these poor bastards into a meat grinder. Anyone here ever played the Metro game series, or read the books?

Remember the Dark Ones? The Nosallias? Yeah. Tight corridors and monsters only work out well for angry vodka fueled Russians.

Didnt see it very well but I THINK those Mantas had some kind of wing gun. Either thats new, a separate armament setting, or RT forgot what ind of weapons they gave their ships AGAIN.

Cant get the shields back up, yeah, no shit, they DETACHED ONE OF THE FUCKING PILOTS YOU IDIOTS.

Also hah, they arrested Yang, Ren and Jaune. Not surprised.

Beta squads apperently been hitting the whale. ‘Bombs, missiles, we cant make a dent, sir.” ...while Im not surprised by this, I also hear shades of the opening of Halo 2s level Metropolis. “Where’s the rest of your platoon?” “Wasted, sarge. Blew right through us. Rockets, fifty cals, didnt do nothing.”

Honestly they could have SHOWED THAT too. Them just saying it feels like a cop out to me. Take that as you will. But if you want us to see the things hard to kill, show it. 

Not that I figure Atlas’s rockets are much more than Dust in a propellent tank. Not exactly a Hellfire or TOW.

Nice to see proper military talk for...a moment anyway.

Or what I figure RT figures is proper.

Oh so now the whales moving. Okay...huh.

Jaunes commentary is the same as mine. Though I guess the size seems to shift depending.

Ohhh. Its MANTA. As in the gunships. Alright, sure that works. And this guys making a good call. If you cant hit the big one go after the smaller. Of which there seems to be a HELL of a lot. Actually holy fuck that Grimm spew is across like...ahlf the fucking island right now. Time to fuckin torch and burn people.

Ahhhhhh and they get to the proper idea.  If you cant punch it from the outside, hit it from the inside.

I knew a crew...three madmen, names of Keegan, Lahni and Mac. The Hivebusters. Something tells me a Venom bomb would do the trick...if it can rip apart Swarm creatures as big as a Snatcher or a Swarmak and reduce them to green slime, I think it’ll work on Grimm. 

Something tells me RT isnt gonna give em a bomb though. Too obvious.

NEVER MIND. “Science team is putting together a bomb.”

Also I LOVE how Winter’s pupils expand and retract in fear as she realizes what Ironwoods asking her to do.

Awww now shes getting the shakes too.

Salem directing this shit like shes some kind of orchestra leader. I mean it FITS but...I dunno.

Ah so the command deck is directly behind the whale’s glowing nose. Basically inside where the spermacetiy organ would be in a real sperm whale.

What the fuck is Emerald doing there?

Sneaking I guess. Huh. Why’s she sneaking around the whale. Also, huh. guess seeers can get fooled by Emeralds semblance.  Is HE STILL BEATING UP ON OSCAR? Jeez dude. Take a breather.

Honestly if this was TRUE I would be okay with it. Replace the Huntsman with, I dont know, a massively overequipped military for each Kingdom, let them run rampant...stomp the Grimm out or push them back to nonexistence...everyone lives happily ever after

Lets be real here, the idea of the academies? Really really fucking dumb. Its cute. Fairy tale like.

But if theres one thing this show has taught me its that fairy tales SUCK. Reality...tends to be worse.

Ah theres one of those torture hooks they mentioned a few episodes back. Nice of the whale to have a specific interrigation room.

And at last we get some information on how Salem works. Alright so...what happens if you seperate the parts then? Sink one in the ocean, launch one into space.

Sounds like Oz/Oscars telling the fans what we’ve been saying forever, Companion Book be damned; Salem wants to die.

These mind games bore me. Its cute, but I dont like it cause I cant follow that shit. Give me a straight up fight any day, fuck this sublty backroom fuckery

No lies from them both here honestly.

Medical supplies in Atlas seem almost the same as here on earth interestngly. Also, soup. Or...coffee, tea?

Blake with the obvious here. But I mean thats not really saying much cause...well. Not hard to outfight the Atlas military it seems like.  (Long suffering sigh)

Im gonna make a seperate post about my frustrations with that and leave it there. But dont expect me to stop fully complaining about it because everyones gotta have something to bitch about with this show, and I’ll be DAMNED if I start joining the BB whiners.

Good question, Ruby. Might be that YOUR NOT LIVING IN A FAIRY TALE

I’d like to see these people dying in Mantle. I refuse to believe that there isnt SOMEONE in the nation that once brought Remnant to its heel that wont stand and fight. Unless Im wrong about that too...

May backstory? May backstory. Yeah.  Not amazingly complicated but it works. Cant tell if shes Henry though...or was. 

Dramatic lightning flash

Cute you think that Ruby. Theres sides. Always are.

Further proof honestly.

Hazels look of though is amusing. Cant tell if he doesnt believe Oscar, or if his tiny peabrain is runing full bore to think this through.

Coordination between farm boy and professor.

Oh. OHHHH. Plants the seed of doubt in Hazels tiny mind, he uses the last question for himself, sees the truth... Clever, Oscar. Clever.

Hazel peabrain go THUNK

Ah so Mercs going off to Vacuo. Guess that means everyone else is going there next too. Eat that, random Discord person, I called it.

Course, CFVYs there so...maybe we get to see Yats beat up on him.

Oh hi Tyrian. Do you just...randomly roam the halls of the whale waiting to DRAMATICALLY REVEAL YOURSELF and give violent expositon? Im very much okay with that.

Also I love how he just...accepts this. Totally fucking bonkers, totally down with it. 

Oh shit, Tyrian and Mercury going to Vacuo? Damn thats gonna be INTERESTING. I guess Tyrian’ll fit in well enough honestly.

Flying Beringal literally out of the roof. 

I remember back when this season first started and I said those weird bone platforms looked like VTOL launch bays. Guess what? They are.

Merc and Em emotion blah blah DONT CAAARRREEE

Jaune thinking tactically for ONCE IN HIS FUCKING LIFE. An I mean military tactical of course.

Also I like how the Aces say they dont let emotions cloud their shit WHEN THEYVE BEEN DOING THAT THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME.

This ENTIRE PLANET is emotionally run. Thats why the Grimm are such an issue! Makes small note to make Remnant Adeptus Mechanicus cult

Seriously though...

I wont lie though, Hare isnt wrong. Wonder what happened to that Tortuga guy. Tyrian, is my guess. Love how Ren interrupts the moment they almost mention Clovers name.

Expendable, yes. Replacable, no. You should have a talk with squadron leader Grey from Star Wars Squadrons Ren

ANNNNDDD SEMBLANCE EVOLUTION. Or the edibles just kicked in.

This is cool and all but its really fucking dumb and hamfisted. Explain all you want. Mention emotions all you want.

The Aces are fucking huntsmen. HUNTSMEN. FUCKING. SUCK. They always have. Its a dumb idea. Yes, lets stop the hordes of monsters invading this world BY SENDING IN SINGLE OPERATIVES WITH FUCKING MELEE WEAPONS

I’ll make this clear to you, Ren, right here and now. If you faced a REAL elites, you wouldnt have stood a chance. Nor would RWBY. Their bodies would have been three-shot from 20 meters out with a breach and clear and stacked against the wall like cords of wood, one final shot to the dome to make dead sure they were down. None of this stupid flipping and acrobatic crap, none of this clashing weapons and Dust and semblances...no. 

You’d be dead before you knew they were there and they would move on. You’d just be another body to the pile, one more faceless corpse to add to their kill count. A meatgrinder in human form. 

Professionals. Dont. Lose. AND THE ACES ARE NOT PROFESSIONALS!

Because thats not what RWBYs about, never has been.  And that is what annoys me slightly. That and the fact I cant distangle what I know of other universes and our own from RWBY’s. Its hard to hold a universe on its own when everything they make points towards it being like ours, but they change it when they see fit. 

I feel like thats bad writing.

Hehehe. Winter touched Elms boob.

Glad to know that Winters got her priorities right. Course, that bomb probably aint gonna do shit cause its Dust based.

...again, hoping its a chemical weapon...

Wait, the Atlas forces from earlier are STILL FIGHTING? Damn, these Grimm must suck if they couldnt wipe them out in that little time...

Also I cant tell if its getting dark cause of the storm or if its the dawn of the next day.  Or did...they shift time around? I lost track. I SWORE the sun was setting the last time we saw everything.

Also return of the shitty 3D grass...

Marrows gonna defect.

Awww poor Winters got emotions. HEY MAYBE DONT SEND A MENSTRATING WOMAN OUT ON A FIELD OP, ATLAS!

So according to May there’s still front lines. Cool. 

AYYY ITS KLIEN! HES BACK

Oh, I guess hes a doctor too. Oh he MAD.

Ayyy Whitleys being USEFUL for fucking once in his shitty life.

Shes gonna hug him isnt she.

CALLED IT. For fuck sake...whatever. Cute. But whatever.

Oh annnnddd now Grimmquake?

No. It stopped...Bolide?

No. PENNY.

Annnnddd shes leaking coolant. And sparking. And dead.

RIP Penny.

The concept art of the beached whale looks so fucking silly. Seriously, just...detach the whole section there. Drop the fucking thing. 

Oh well.

And thats it for almost two months! Be prepared for me to BULLSHIT MY WAY THROUGH ALL OF IT and continue on with my military fanwank because THATS HOW IM SURVIVING 2020!

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #209: The Resurrection Stone

July, 1981

“The Resurrection Stone: will it save the universe -- or destroy it?”

Well, the universe hasn’t been destroyed, at least circa the comics I read this morning. But it hasn’t really been saved either.

Still, pretty intriguing tagline. Pretty intriguing cover.

And written by J.M. DeMatteis. One of the Kraven’s Last Hunt guys. He doesn’t seem to do a lot of Avengers.

Let’s see how he do Earth’s Mightiest Team of Specifically This Four On the Cover.

We start with some silent intriguing intrigue as an alien ship crashes into Nevada and an alien crawls from the alien wreckage. Instead of distributing rings to people, he gets shot by a green guy who likes purple. I sure can’t think of several people that this applies to.

The shooter checks some possibly alien PDA but then beams up as the ship explodes.

How baffling.

Ok, J.M. DeMatteis. You have my interest.

So we start chapter one-

Chapter one? What is it with fill-ins and putting chapters in Avengers books. That three dooms one from a while back also did this.

Anyway, chapter one of this normal length Avengers adventure: “Love... and Death!”

So on specifically April 10th, 1981 2:17 PM (a fact which we must firmly ignore in these sliding timescale days), Beast has brought an old flame to Avengers Mansion to meet Wonder Man, Vision, and Scarlet Witch.

Presumably all of the other Avengers couldn’t make it. Or Beast didn’t want them meeting Vera.

Oh, and she’s not a new old flame.

Vera Cantor goes back to X-Men #19 in 1966. She knew him before he blue it! And she was the one who got away because mutant biz kept getting in the way.

But they had a chance meeting in a Soho bar and they’re giving it another shot!

I guess Beast is finally settling down from his wild party dating multiple women at a time days.

And y’know what? He and Vera are cute together.

Beast is exuberantly in love with her. He’s apparently been talking about nothing else for weeks.

Scarlet Witch: “Vision -- just look at the Beast’s eyes -- I’ve never seen them sparkle so. He must be in love.”

Beast is so excited he’s bouncing on the couch and jumping all over the place and bumping into Jarvis. Knocking the tea tray out of the butler’s hands.

Beast, pls. Reign in.

He does manage to catch the tray in his feet though. No spilling.

Its a bit weird that Jarvis is here to be bumped into. He’s supposed to have one of his days off to visit his mom and get some of that “near-mythical Yorkshire pudding.”

But he brushes off the question with concern over the bad impression all of this is giving the guest.

Vera doesn’t mind though. She’s used to his obstreperous (“noisy and difficult to control”) nature and finds how energetic he is to be part of why he’s so cute.

The blue fuzz surely does not hurt!

Oh. And then Vera takes a sip of the tea Jarvis brought and immediately keels over dead.

The butler did it??

Jarvis. You made it too strong!

No, no. Surely not. Jarvis would never make such an error or miss out on Yorkshire pudding.

“Jarvis” is actually... A SKRULL!

Beast wastes no time slamming the Skrull into the wall but said Skrull says ‘hey you want the woman to live again maybe keep your hands to yourself.’

And Beast backs off, sensing some truth in the Skrull’s tone.

The Skrull: “Ah -- that’s a bit more like it. Even in this vile atmosphere, I do so value my ability to breathe!”

By the by the by, this guy goes unnamed until 2008 in a Secret Invasion infobook but I’m not about that. His name is Jaddak.

Jaddak channels his inner-Darkseid and sits in the comfiest chair provocatively and begins on THE TALE OF THE RESURRECTION STONE!

Seems that millennia ago there was a space civilization in space that merged high science and high sorcery to bring an epoch of peace and plenitude to all then known worlds.

The epoch of peace and plentitude looks a lot like someone jammed Medieval knights and castles into rocket times.

Which I guess fits the whole union of science and magic thing.

And then the greatest scientist-wizard, Tus'Au, invented the Resurrection Stone and ruined everything.

The stone, as the name implied, could bring life back to the dead. And while that doesn’t seem too impressive by today’s standards where plot devices to resurrect the dead are so numerous (including just teleporting out of heaven) that it doesn’t bear counting, remember that this was an earlier, more innocent time. A filler time.

Everyone wanted this Resurrection Stone and a great war ignited that eventually ruined a thousand, thousand planets.

Amidst that nonsense, the stone itself was lost forever.

Until an Anthigorite archeologist named Krru, like, did some serious research. Around about 5,000 years worth of research. And thanks to all his book learning, he eventually found the stone.

Which was unfortunate because Jaddak had been stalking him this whole time, sure that he’d eventually find it.

He chased Krru over twelve solar systems, finally blasting him out of the sky over Earth. But when Jaddak searched Krru’s ship and checked the recorder-log, as we saw in the opening two pages, he learned that Krru had decided that the Resurrection Stone was inherently corruptive and should have remained lost.

You know an ancient magical stone is bad news when an archeologist goes ‘actually you don’t belong in a museum.’

So when Krru was shot down, as a last ditch effort, he broke the stone in two and sent both halves into Earth’s past so they’d be lost forever.

I have so many questions.

If they were sent to the past then they’d be in the present now unless destroyed in the past. That’s how time works.

Two, dick move, Krru. You think this thing is inherently corruptive and you drop it into Earth’s past, possibly altering the timeline? Fuck you.

But with the stones in the past forever inaccessible clearly, Jaddak decided, hey this should be the Avengers’ problem and not mine.

Jaddak: “I knew then that I needed... pawns. Powerful pawns.”

Wonder Man: “Pawns... as in -- Avengers. And that’s why you struck down an innocent woman?!”

Jaddak: “It seemed a splendid idea at the time!”

Pffffffft.

Ok, I know. I know. This is a terrible situation in-universe but also out of universe because they brought back Vera only to immediately stuff her into the fridge.

But this skrull going ‘look it seemed like a good idea at the time’ cracks me up.

Seemed like a good idea doesn’t cut the mustard with Wonder Man who just hauls off and punches Jaddak into the bookcase.

Vision even verbally pats him on the back for it.

Vision: “Well played, Simon. -- There was no need to listen to this madman's rantings any longer.”

But as the Avengers congregate to stomp on Jaddak’s head a few times, I presume, Beast stops them.

Cradling Vera’s body he says he’ll do anything to bring her back.

;__;

And that brings us to chapter two: “DOOM in the DARK AGES!”

Let me just get ahead of any hypothetical questions I wouldn’t even be able to hear until after the fact anyway. Tragically Doctor Doom does not show up.

Whoof, a lot of exposition at the beginning of chapter 2. Because a lot of stuff happened off-panel, between pages.

Real Jarvis had been contacted to make sure he’s okay. The four Avengers took a Quinjet to the Fantastic Four and told Reed Richards what’s going on. Reed went ‘sure I’ll lend you Doctor Doom’s time machine and send you to the coordinates a SKRULL gave you.’ And Jaddak went to go wait in his spaceship with Vera’s body.

So now the Avengers are in September 16, 1348, England. Prompting Vision to start giving a lecture on the bubonic plague.

Scarlet Witch: “Darling, please. Not now.”

Save it for the bedroom, Vizh.

The locals respond, understandably enough, with hostility to the people that just appeared in thin air dressed like clowns. They call the Avengers demons and unholy creatures and tell them to tell a wizard Devlunn to fuck off and that he can’t have any more of their dead.

Wanda decides that explaining time travel and superheroes from the FUTURE is more trouble than its worth. Instead, she plays along.

Scarlet Witch: “Devlunn? We are far greater than that upstart! He is a mere wind -- we are the storm!”

And then she fires off some of her bolts to cow the villagers so she can ask if anyone wants to take her to “this weakling Devlunn.”

See Wanda figured out based on the one comment that someone toying with the dead might be linked to the half of the Resurrection Stone they’re here to find. Or one would hope someone toying with the dead has a dumb magic reason for it!

One of the villagers does volunteer to take Wanda to Devlunn.

Villager: “I pray you four are as powerful as you appear -- for it will take great magicks indeed to best this lunatic child.”

Because, yup, Devlunn is a ten-year old child.

And yup, he has half of the Resurrection Stone.

He also has a big crowd of locals begging him to return their dead since they did promise to follow him and give him all that they own. Really, that’s a fair trade for some moldy old corpses, right?

Devlunn: “Why should I listen to you? When this talisman fell from the sky and whispered to me -- I knew then it could make me a god! And gods do as they please!”

Welp.

Beast: “No one should play god, Devlunn. -- Least of all obnoxious little boys! C’mon guys -- let’s get this over with!”

And Wonder Man punches the tower Devlunn is standing on and Vision SOLAR BEAMs it and a ten year old child falls off a tower.

And then he just stops in midair and floats.

Not sure why the Resurrection Stone also has flying powers. That seems beyond the scope of what it was designed to do.

That’s like if you had a scroll of fireball that also did your taxes.

Yes, that would be amazing. But the two things aren’t related things.

Anyway, Devlunn takes these four weirdos in stride.

Devlunn: “Ah -- so I’ve impressed you with my little trick! Good! For, you see, I know who you are! You are spirits from heaven to test me to see if I’m worthy of godhood -- to see if my talisman can do more than merely hold me on high like some wingless bird! You wish a show of strength -- a little play! And what you wish -- Devlunn-the-god shall grant!”

And then he sicks a horde of zombies on the fearless foursome.

The four realize the truth of Devlunn’s half of the Resurrection Stone. Because this is a cool magic artifact that conceptually splits in half instead of just physically or in terms of output or whatever.

Devlunn’s half gives life to the dead but only life without the spark of the soul. Aka, zombies.

Also, not very impressive zombies. They’re more pitiable than formidable. And Devlunn isn’t much of a necromancer.

The Avengers fight them. Well, except for Vision. Vision just lets them flail against him ineffectually.

Beast rushes through the pack of zombies, even grabbing one with his thighs to toss out of the way?, towards Devlunn and then takes the 1/2 Resurrection Stone like candy from a baby.

Revealing Devlunn to not be a great and powerful wizard but rather a very sad child.

Devlunn: “My stone give it to me! Give it back, I say! I was... nothing until it came to me! My family -- my friends -- all died! But the stone made me important! It gave me control over death! It made me safe! Please give it back! Please -- I want to be a god! I have to be a god!”

And then he collapses to the ground and starts crying while the Avengers are whisked away into the future by Reed.

So, that’s sad.

And I don’t imagine chapter three (“Rosenblatt’s Dance!”) is going to be any cheerier.

It’s now April 13, 1945. Dachau.

So. Yeah.

The Avengers blink into existence right in the middle of some Allied troops chasing some Nazis. And not being ones to miss a chance to go ape shit on some Nazis, Wonder Man goes ape shit on some Nazis.

Unlike the dark ages peeps, the Allied soldiers see some random people with superpowers wearing bright clothes and go ‘ah, superheroes’ and ask if they’re with the Invaders or the Liberty Legion.

Wonder Man: “Right. I’m... uh... Captain America.”

Phew. Timeline secure.

Anyway, they’re glad to see some superheroes because they’ve got a messy situation at Dachau. And its nothing that punching Nazis can fix.

So, yeah this is set at a concentration camp so its not going to be particularly happy.

The one who has the other half of the Resurrection Stone is a man named Rosenblatt. And this half of the stone also has half the power of the full stone. But in this case it returns the soul to a lifeless husk.

And Rosenblatt has used it to revive his dead wife and daughters and he’s joyfully dancing with their lifeless bodies while they beg him to let them go and free them of this existence.

It’d be really messed up if the usual superhero methods had to be applied here but thankfully the less employed but still common superhero empathy is in the quiver.

Beast approaches the guy and just talks to him.

Beast: “You have to set their souls free.”

Rosenblatt: “Are you the devil, come to take them? Well -- they’ve been in hell long enough. They’ll never be yours!”

Beast: “Look at them, my friend -- they will never be yours either. Not the way you knew them. The way you cherished them. Give me the jewel. P-please...”

And his words get through to the man who hands the half Resurrection Stone off to Beast.

And as before, the instant they have the stone, Reed yanks them forward in time.

Y’know. This only occurred to me on my second read. Maybe if Reed hadn’t instantly pulled them out of that time, it would have occurred to Beast ‘hey wait I have both halves now, I could combine them and bring this guy’s family back to life for real and not in some cursed half existence.’

Doesn’t really work with how the book goes, but it’s a thought.

And now for the thrilling conclusion: Chapter 4 The Cost!

April 10th, 1981, SPACE.

So we’re back in the then present.

A Quinjet flies into space, as Quinjets can apparently do, to meet with Jaddak’s spaceship. Jaddak contacts them over the space Zoom and tells Beast that he’ll have to teleport over alone with the Resurrection Stone.

The other Avengers think this is reeeeeaaally fishy and don’t really like the idea of letting Jaddak get the Resurrection Stone but they can’t tell Beast what to do. This is his weird fill-in issue quest and it has to be his decision.

So Beast teleports over alone. And finds himself in a chamber with a video screen. Skrull ain’t taking any chances.

He’s hidden behind an unbreachable wall. Through the video screen he tells Beast to deposit the stone in a portal which will send it over to the skrull who will test it for authenticity.

Then, he’ll use it to revive Vera. Swearsies.

Beast: “And why should I trust you?”

Jaddak: “Because I am a Skrull. Treacherous and savage as my people are -- we value honor more than life.”

Doubt.

Beast pauses to consider the power of the Resurrection Stone. Thinks about Devlunn and his zombies and Rosenblatt’s dance.

Beast: “Vera... I’m sorry. But this power is too much for any man to hold. I hope you can forgive me for what I’m about to do -- and I hope I can forgive myself!”

And then Beast slams the two halves of the Resurrection Stone together, KRUNCHing them into dust.

Jaddak: “Y-you crushed it! But that is... impossible! My plan was perfection! The vagaries of human love should have assured me victory!”

Wonder Man: “There are higher forms of love, Skrull -- but don’t strain your brain trying to figure out what they are!”

Because, yes, Wonder Man, Scarlet Witch, and Vision are also here now.

Vision intangibled onto the ship while Jaddak was distracted and used Jaddak’s own teleporters to bring the other two aboard.

As for that unbreachable wall?

Nah. Totally breachable. Wonder Man peels it open like nothing.

Jaddak tries to use Vera’s dead body as a hostage but Scarlet Witch blasts the gun apart in his hands with a SQUAKK.

So there may be a bird that used to be a gun loose on the ship.

And that just leaves one thing to take care of.

Beast jumps at Jaddak and starts slamming him around.

Scarlet Witch protests that Beast is going to kill Jaddak but Wonder Man tells her that Beast has to left off some steam.

Wonder Man: “He has to vent some steam or he’ll really snap! Besides you know Hank as well as I do -- that Skrull will get some much-needed lumps -- but that’s all!”

Beast: “Yeah. That’s our Beastie. A hero to the end. Can’t even bring myself to play the old ‘eye for an eye’ game. Not that it would do me one stinking bit of good. I’ve lost her -- forever.”

AND THEN AN EPILOGUE. Later that day at the Baxter Building.

Reed has been involved between panels this whole story and now he gets exposition exposited to him to fill in the gaps and in return he’s going to exposit too.

Wonder Man explains that he, Wanda, and Vision always intended to destroy the Resurrection Stone if Beast went through with the deal with Jaddak. Not that they thought he would. Knowing Hank McCoy and all.

But its a subversion of the ‘this is something he must do himself’ trope. Where they left the decision in Beast’s hands but also planned to go over his head if he made the wrong decision and put the scary power of phoenix down in the hands of the Skrulls.

Gotta keep your friends honest or something.

So now Reed has news. Weird news about Vera.

The poison that Jaddak used was super rare, so rare that Jaddak didn’t even know how it worked. He just had to be a murder hipster and goofed up.

Its actually a slow-acting poison that takes days to fully kill someone so Vera is technically only mostly dead. She could theoretically be cured one day.

So Reed has thrown her into a suspended animation tube and hopes to come up with an antidote eventually (which he doesn’t but Vera ends up cured anyway in Defenders #105 about a year later in another story by J.M. DeMatteis).

What is it about weird filler stories and having someone end up in a freezer tube to be maybe cured later?

Reed Richards: I know it’s not much of a chance, Beast -- but at least there’s hope.”

Beast: “There’s hope -- !”

Follow @essential-avengers​ because one day I’ll be up to date on that blog and it’ll have Essential Avengers stuff and no miscellaneous reblogs of other stuff. Wouldn’t that be nice? Maybe? Also like and reblog if you like to reblog.

[darkmasterkattsvault-arc]

Some Help From A Friend

Who: Sam Arias & Lena Luthor (@chaoticscribblings) ft. Joss Rose

What: Sam finds out about Lena and Joss and comes from Argo for a visit.

Notes: Written on discord. I’ve never written Sam before. I never even saw her episodes, but this was needed. Enjoy.

"You're not dating me, or Kara, or Clark. WHERE DID YOU FIND ANOTHER KRYPTONIAN LENA?!"

“I didn’t find another kryptonian, they found me.”

"Only because you hired me." "You hired them, for what?!"

“Get your head out of the gutter, Sam. My Cyclone needed mending.”

Joss just snickering. "Okay. And how did that end up..." gestures between them. "I asked her out for drinks and she said yes?"

“Honestly, Sam, you act as if this is rocket science.”

"You understand rocket science, this is whatever the emotional equivalent is. I'm sorry but you've never been..." Sam deciding she really doesn't want to finish that sentence.

“Never been what, Sam?” Lena knew she was perceived as cold but she had hoped that her friends saw her otherwise.

"Emotionally available." "Sometimes it takes someone else being willing to bare all before you know it's safe to do the same. I hear not many people have ever deemed her worthy of such trust." Joss wrapping their arms around Lena all protectively.

Lena smiled at the way Joss defended her, it was still something she was getting to used to. “Did it ever occur to you that no one gave me reason to be?” she asked Sam. “That no one has ever been truly honest and open with me? Trusted me and never questioned my motives?” she leaned into Joss, bring her arms to rest across the ones wrapped around her

Sam held up her hands. "Hey, I get it, okay. It's just surprising, is all. I'm happy for you, Lena. But I'm still trying to figure out how you found a third Kryptonian living in National City." "Probably helps that I didn't know I was Kryptonian until after I met her." "What?" "I mean, I suspected after Supergirl came on the scene, but I didn't actually have concrete proof." Shrugs. "I didn't remember my life prior to Earth, because apparently getting space junk into a head wound that then heals is bad for your memories."

Lena chuckled, “I have no idea. It seems I’m a magnet for kryptonians.” She turned her head and pressed a kiss to Joss’ cheek, “But, kryptonian or otherwise, Joss would still be who I’d want to be with.”

"I'd say so." Sam just smiles. "You better take care of her." "She can handle herself. But I do what she lets me."

Lena smirked at Joss’ response, “Maybe you should be warning me instead of Joss, Sam,” she laughed.

Sam laughs. "Warning you to what? Let them take care of you? Besides, you're my friend, I'm just doing what friends do." "To be fair, I'm pretty sure that's exactly what my friend did." They pressed a kiss to Lena's shoulder.

“Warning mr to not hurt them,” she replied honestly, “though, it is true, Isaac did warn me. He was very sweet though. I’m more scared of you,” she directed at Sam, “than I am him.” A smile crossed her lips at the kiss, it was such a small gesture but it brought her such joy. She honestly didn’t think she’d ever felt so safe with another being.

"I'm confident that won't be a problem." Sam smiled. "Well, I should let you two catch up. I need to get back to the theater. It was a pleasure to meet you Sam." They pressed a quick kiss to Lena's lips before pulling away and going to leave, stopping at the door to the balcony. "Oh, and Sam, next time you see Alura, tell her I said she can go fuck herself." Cos bitter Joss is bitter after finding out they're Kara's twin which means Alura and Zor-El basically abandoned them. "Did..." Watches Joss leave. "So, actually related to Kara then?"

Lena frowned at the goodbye kiss, silently wishing Joss didn’t have to go back to work, and had to stop herself from laughing at Joss’ parting words. “Yes, it appears they’re related, why Kara had no knowledge of their existence is yet to be solved.”

"Think that might be a question for Alura. Given she's the parent in this situation. I could give her a call? Alex and I have been working on a way to keep a line of communication open between Earth and Argo City. It's a little unstable connection wise, and still in its experimental stage, but should work well to at least ask. Alex had been planning to surprise Kara with it."

“I’ll talk to Joss about it. They might not want to know and I’m not going to make that decision for them. However I will ask that if you do speak with Alura, you ask about the materials of whatever carried Joss to earth. The more I can understand about the fragment in their brain the more I can understand what potential damage it could cause if left where it is.”

"Of course. And I imagine it's of the same material the other pods from Krypton were made of, but I'll certainly ask anyway." She smiles. "Now spill, I want to know everything about you two."

“Which is why I need to know more. The DEO isn’t exactly going to let me look at their files.” Lena laughed, “You’re impossible. What’s there to say? I hired them to mend my Cyclone, they arrived to pick it up and I accused them of being a clone,” she still kicked herself for that, “but we talked, I realised they possessed far too much autonomy to be a clone and somehow they forgave me.”

"Right." Sam laughed. "Lena, you don't go from 'fix this dress' to bedroom eyes without a lot more happening in between. So there's a lot to know."

“There was no bedroom eyes,” Lena laughed, “you’re imagining things, Sam.” She shook her head, sure there was no denying that there was something between her and Joss but she didn’t think bedroom eyes were happening, at least not in front of Sam. “Joss called to ask me out for drinks,” a sly smile tugged at her lips, “they called from the office balcony.”

"The way they look at you might as well be." Sam chuckled, shaking her head. "Well that's one way to ensure a date. What happened after that?"

“You’re crazy.” Lena gave her friend a look that was the non-verbal equivalent of ‘duh’, “We went for drinks, what else usually happens when someone asks you out for drinks?” She laughed. “We talked. A lot. We talked about fashion and they understood my views on it rather than looking at me like I’m crazy.  We talked. A lot. Learned a lot about each other.”

"Well yeah, that's how real dates work. But you're telling me that's it? That, that's all that happened between you two and now you're here? I imagine one doesn't get accused of dating Supergirl THAT easily."

“Apparently I do,” Lena laughed, “but as far as accusations go, I’ve been accused of a LOT worse.”

"Do I even want to know how Kara handled that information?"

“How do you think she handled it?”

"She didn't?"

“She really didn’t. I had to yell at Joss to turn off their inhibitors.”

"Wait, they got into a fight?"

“Joss ended up with a busted lip.”

"I think they're lucky that's all that happened."

“Why do you think I insisted they turn the inhibitors off?”

"The better question is did they?"

“In the end,” Lena had genuinely worried that Kara would cause Joss serious harm had they not turned their inhibitors off. “It was a lot to deal with.”

"So they started a fight with Kara, with power inhibitors turned on... Did Kara attack first? What the hell happened?"

Now there was a loaded question. “Kara instigated it.” That was definitely true, she’d come in and started throwing accusations. “Joss defended me. Which was dangerous. Kara had no idea if Joss was human, kryptonian or anything else. With the inhibitors, Joss is as good as human. Kara could’ve killed them.”

Sam shook her head, rubbing her temples a bit. "So, let me get this straight, Kara attacked you, Joss defended you with inhibitors on and had to be persuaded to turn them off despite fighting someone who could otherwise kill them?" She sighed, this was wilder than reality television.

“Kara attacked me verbally,” Lena pointed out, “but Joss didn’t take too kindly of the things Kara was saying, to be honest neither did I...Joss defended me as a person, Kara fought as an alien.” The more she spoke of it, the more it hit home just how dangerous it had been for Joss to do what they did. “Joss doesn’t use their powers, at least not often. A fight to them is the same as any other person getting into a scuffle. But Kara isn’t just any other person and yes, I needed to remind Joss to turn off the inhibitors before they sustained a serious injury but using their powers goes against how they live their life.”

"That's... wow." Sam could relate to that, it's why she'd gone to Argo City. To live a normal life without fear or worry of what trouble her own powers might bring. She couldn't imagine living on Earth, wearing power inhibitors day in and day out just to be seen as any other person. "It's certainly noble, but extremely stupid of them. Which I'm sure you've told them."

“Noble and idiotic,” Lena agreed. “But I’ve seen the effects of them not having the inhibitors on,” she sighed, Joss had been so drained and she understood why they wore inhibitors all of the time, “the sooner Kara and everyone else gets it into their heads that Joss isn’t a threat to them or anyone else, the better.”

"I imagine it's overwhelming. Even I'm starting to feel it and I've only been under the yellow sun for a few hours." Sam shook her head. "Now I know why Alex was on guard when I mentioned wanting to come for a visit. You'd think they'd have learned by now that not every alien is a threat but when you start treating them like they are they have a tendency to become one but that, that still doesn't prove the point."

“How long are you here for?” Lena asked, Sam was quite possibly her closest friend, they’d been through so much together. “It wasn’t even that they were treating Joss like a threat, Joss actually seemed to be handling that part pretty well. Kara accessing me of being just like Lex, accusing me of creating a clone,” that had hurt more than she cared to admit, even with those who claimed to see her as more than Luthor were quick to accuse her of evil doings, “Kara didn’t let either myself or Joss explain, she went straight to accusations. I’m not saying Joss fighting her was the right thing to do, but...Joss doesn’t care about my families history. I’m not Lex or mother. Luthor is just another name as far as Joss is concerned.”

Sam found herself scowling. After everything Lena had done, the good she'd done, they were still on as if she was just her family name. Had the Reign incident taught them nothing of human nature and the way choice can ultimately outweigh everything else? "So much for compassion for all, eh?" She shook her head. "I can't say I wouldn't have done the same for you. Because Joss is right."

"Compassion for all unless they bear the name Luthor," Lena corrected dryly. Honestly, it was tiring trying to constantly prove herself, to show that Luthor was just a name and not who she was. "Right or wrong, Joss could've gotten killed," she countered, "and that is something I couldn't live with." She was not worthy of dying for. "Now we have to figure out how to keep off of the DEOs radar, stay away from Kara and Alex, and figure out just exactly is lodged in Joss' brain and what damage it's caused and if it can cause any further damage." Lena was thankful for Sam, she was the only one that Lena could be honest about this situation with who not only would listen but had the capability of understanding the situation from her point of view.

"Or an alien you know about but they don't." Sam shook her head. It seemed Alex, Kara, and the DEO were reacting to Lena knowing about Joss the same way they'd reacted to Lena knowing about Reign, and yet Joss was literally just trying to live their life. "Well, if you're right about them just wanting to live their life, then I can't see them ending up on the DEO's radar, except for the whole flying thing, but even then, if Kara can use her powers like that, Joss should be allowed as well, but have them keep an extra eye out. Alex and Kara might be a little harder, though. As for what's in their brain, I'll get up with Alura, though should I actually pass Joss' message along?"

"That would require them trusting me and despite what they say, they will never truly trust me. It doesn't matter what I do or don't do on that one, Lex tried to kill Superman." Lena knew why it was hard for Kara to trust her given what Lex had put her cousin through but it hurt that she felt Lena capable of doing the same thing to her. "I don't think they fly all that often," she chuckled, "unless they're asking someone out for drinks. Right now, both Alex and Kara can get stuffed. They're treating Joss the way Kara would've been treated if it hadn't been for the Danvers taking her in." Lena paused for thought, "Yes. Joss has been on earth for years with no idea where they came from, pass the message along, maybe it will provoke Alura to reach out and fill in some blanks for them. But get the information I need first, the last thing we want is for Alura to withhold information because she's angry at Joss."

"Ah yes, that." Sam sighed. It was ridiculous, honestly, the way they treated people sometimes. Sam nodded as Lena said they didn't fly often but couldn't help but laughed. "Ah, so they only fly when coming to see you?" She mad a small noise of interest at that. Willing to die for her. Willing to be more than just a person for her. Lena certainly meant something to Joss, and that was something was a lot. "I'll certainly ask first insult after. Though lets hope we get more than just her anger out of all this, for Joss' sake."

"Yes, that." The issue with having the Luthor name was that the reputations of Lex and her mother were very much like that of a shadow, you could never truly get rid of it. "Don't start," Lena laughed, "it was one time, ok? And I told them off for it because what if someone had seen them?" She nodded as Sam spoke, "Please do. For some reason people tend to be less forthcoming when you insult them." A sigh left her lips, "I really hope so, Sam. There's so much that Joss doesn't remember. I worry that there's something important there and they don't even know it. Not as much as I worry about whatever is in their brain and what potential risks that carries."

"Did you ignore the fact they left off the balcony or?" Sam chuckled. "Though, except for Supergirl, anyone seeing would think it was Supergirl, or Superman, but given what the press thinks... They can probably get away with it, as long as it is only every so often." Honestly, Sam couldn't blame Joss, coming and going through a window was probably way easier than possibly running into someone in the building who thought they might be Kara. "Unfortunately for you, right?" Sam teased. "Yeah, I'll definitely do what I can. Ruby sends her love, by the way. Though she's not happy I came alone, as she wanted to come see you, but with the way Alex was on edge I thought it best not to bring her. Now I'm going to get an earful about it. Though while I'm here maybe I can get you on with her and I won't be nearly as disliked."

"I said I told Joss off, I never said they listened to me," Lena laughed. Visits to LCorp were often the time when Joss would come and go via the balcony, it would only ever be a problem if Kara decided to do it in plain clothes rather than as Supergirl but even then, Lena would know the difference and not just because Kara and Joss wore completely different styles of clothing. "If people were honest I wouldn't need to insult them in the first place," she countered. "I miss Ruby! How is she? I miss you both so much. I hate that we live on different planets." Had she said that to anyone else it would've been one of the most bizarre things she'd ever said. The mention of Alex caused Lena to close off a little. "Yes, well, Alex thinks I'm harbouring an alien clone of her sister and that at any given moment there's going to be an attack. I'd point out that Joss actually knows of Maggy Rouff but I feel that would be totally lost on her." She rolled her eyes. "I'd say I'll come visit you both but somehow I don't see Alura welcoming me with open arms given my reputation. Yes, call Ruby, and I can tell her how much she should give you hell for not bringing her to see me," Lena teased with a laugh.

Sam chuckled a bit as Lena spoke. "This is very true. And Ruby is good, adjusting rather well. She's got friends and all that. Miss you and the others, of course. I hate it too, but it's so much better there for me, y'know?" Sam noticed the way Lena closed off and sighed. "It would be lost on her. And yeah, I don't know how well a visit would go, but maybe next time I'll bring her with." She narrowed her eyes at the teasing. "Ugh, well, I need access to a computer and preferably one that can't be traced, and I can get that set up. I don't know if you want to do that here or at your house, but I can let Ruby talk and then just have her get Alura, do it all in one go and you can feed me questions to ask her."

"As much as I miss you, I'm so happy for you, Sam. Having a place that's better for you, a place where you don't have to worry about keeping Ruby safe." Lena meant it, she was genuinely happy for Sam but that didn't stop her from missing her friend dearly. "I think it would be better if we went to mine. As much as I have secured this place, it's nowhere near as secure as my home and we also won't have to worry about anyone interrupting or overhearing something they shouldn't."

Sam smiled. "Thanks, Lena." She nodded a bit. "Yeah, probably for the best. I normally wouldn't require a secure line but we're avoiding the DEO so, better safe than sorry."

"There's a reason no member of the DEO has been inside my house." There was also reasons as to why she regularly checked her house to make sure that Kara hadn't been sent in with bug. Lena had long learnt to not trust those who do not trust you. "Plus, there is wine at my house," she laughed, "if you think I'm letting you leave earth without even having a glass of wine with me you are sorely mistaken."

Sam nodded as Lena spoke, she could understand that. She couldn't help but laugh. "Because what would time with you be without wine?" She teased, standing. "Now lets  get out of here." September 15, 2020

“Boring?” Lena laughed. “How did you get here?” she asked as it suddenly dawned on her that Sam didn’t exactly have many earthly positions now, not that she needed them. “You won’t be abandoning a rental if you ride with me, will you?”

"Sure, let's go with that." Sam chuckled. "Uber, so no, I won't." She'd set up a system that kept her bank account and cell number active, and likely would for a good number of years. Just long enough that, should something happen and she need to return to Earth, for good or just an extended period, she'd have access to funds and a functional phone.

[fthisshiiimout]

" Hope is a dangeous thing" Michael Guerin's words of wisdom! He said it to Max and said it to Maria! But I really hope every single MALEX fan took it to heart cause it was really meant for US!

I dont care what people say in this fandom anymore. "I dont want to hear spoilers" " no spoilers" " you should tag your shit as a spoiler" NO IM NOT GOING TO! Ya know why?? Because Carina herself wouldnt have shown her shit if she didnt want SPOILERS OUT!! DUHH! And Im ranting because Im sick of the headgames with this show..it ridiculous..no wonder why people in this fandom are dropping like flies.

And Im sick and tired of the back and forth between M/M and M/A. Im sick of the headgames with the showrunner as well! One day its " Oh its Maria..shes his light" and whatever else is spewed. And the next its " Ohh Michael and Alex there journey is from darkness to light" and whatever other bullshit is spewed. Cause in reality its all Bullshit to keep Malex fans and Miluca fans to keep watching and fighting. If you ever cared to look at the ratings for season 1 they were abysmal. Only the first 2 episodes got over a million viewers. Which is horrible..but in full disclosure Theres only 1 CW show that has really any kind of following ( and hint hint its not Supernatural..That shows ratings are going down faster then a hooker on payday). Believe me I did the research. I dont understand why they are putting it after a tanking show if they want more viewers ( No disrespect to Supernatural, my daughter and husband love this show). But I digress..

The show runners know where there bread is buttered on this show and it is with MALEX fans. It even overshadows the Liz/Max shippers and Definitely over shadows Michael and Maria. Hell Vlamis and Tyler realized it pretty quickly..Vlamis made a sold out Merch line because of it. And they are the captains of this ship because they see the potential of how big it can be. Hell even the CW pr team figured it out! Thats why in the trailer we saw Malex and no Miluca?? Its not rocket science to figure this out!

So why now are the showrunners literally shitting on the LGBTQ+ community by taking away the only couple that represent that population on that show?? Then placating the community with "ooh Alex gets a new love interest" and the obscure and downright awkward " oh someone who Identified as straight in the beginning of the season will not be at the end". What a FUCKING FARCE! Like really?? As a community are we that desperate or obtuse?? Did nobody roll there eyes at this bullshit? Or am I the only one? We have a perfectly "cosmic" gay ship in front of us! Yes with baggage..no denying that..but thats the drama of TV I get it.

The reason is because the showrunners have no plans to make Malex anymore. There I said it and I SAW IT FIRSTHAND! In 2x01 Michael told Alex straight up they "were done" it was pretty cut and dry and lasted all of 2 mins...good to know Malex fans get two mins of heartbreak..that should tell you something. While Michael and Maria had 3 scenes..maybe more together. Granted they were not together at the end of 2x01 but According to Heather they will be trying to " ignite the spark between them" for the entire season. And that they're love is " exciting and blah blah blah".. No one gives a shit. Least of all me. But you can clearly see thats where its headed.

Also in season 1 there were some big hints too that I myself overlooked but they were glaring but subtle like the Max/Cam love scene intertwined with the Michael/Alex scene and the song playing in the background..that was telling... You dont see Max and Cam together. Or 1x12 prison scene " Cant love me" playing in the background and the words Michael spit at Alex..I dont think they were complete lies. Michael felt them on some lvl. And Alex's own words " Sometimes the world ends with a wimper, Guerin".. Those were all meant for Malex shippers as well.

And what about this "see if we can " be friends" or " we didn't even know each other" bullshit! I hate those lines..Like really?? Michael moved back to Roswell when he was 11..which meant that they went to school and living in a small town grew up together. At least for 7 or so yrs. They must have knew each other just for the simple fact of the Liz/Max dynamic..I grew up in many a small town i know this dynamic well. EVERYONE LITERALLY KNOWS EVERYONE! Maybe they didn't really hook up till the end of senior year. But they knew each other and I can almost bet that Alex admired Michael's protectiveness and Michael admired Alex's strength. And they also must have known about each others abusive pasts to a point..logic dictates that. And relationships have been built and survived on less.And if the showrunners wanted to make them " friends" for a time I could even tolerate it..tolerate being the operative word.

But no Michael's gonna "light the spark" with Maria..because in reality thats what the showrunners want. They dont give a shit about Malex working through their shit like logic adults would. And that's fine It just frustrates me that I was sold a lie..and every Malex shipper was too. Wake up fellow shippers and see it too. Or dont..Lies are comfortable like a warm blanket on a cold night. Everyone has some delusion they cling to..much like hope.

My last frustration with the ending of this ship will be that it is laid solely at Alex's feet. "He kept walking away", " He abandoned Michael for 10 yrs", "He left him behind", "I love him, I probably always will..but hes tied to all these horrible memories in my life. All the things his family did to mine. Coming back to him always feels like a crash landing" or the newest and deepest when Alex was giving him the file from Caulfield " Manes men did this to her".. Its always going to be Alex's fault. I wonder if Tyler knew the full extent of the way Alex was gonna be shit on. I dont think Tyler being openly queer himself would be ok with that kind of representation of the Gay community. Its pretty jarring... Honestly I can almost guarantee they probably " promised" him a more normal gay relationship with this new " character" Forrest. Whatever the case may be its still bullshit. Michael seems to hold no responsibility to it.

And Michael will still get the girl and be in his hetero relationship with Maria..because Im asking the question..is he really bi? Evidence in the show doesn't specifically back that up. The only man we see him with is Alex..I havent heard or seen him with other men. Even Michael himself said "Its just him..screws me up".. So maybe "Pan" is a better description?

So RIP Malex! It was good while it lasted.."cosmic" even..but the showrunners killed you off before you even got the opportunity to take flight! ( This is a rant about the showrunners and writers for the fake promise of Malex. I seriously have no issue with Maria or the actress per se...and if the showrunners wanted M/M they should have just started in Season 1 with them).

[imaginefanganronpas]

erm uh h, can i have tsuguri x rei x teruya fluff hc's

Hey there! Didn’t recognize me at first? Haha, don’t worry, it’s still me! I just made myself some halloween sprites for the duration of october, I hope you like them! Now on to your request, I hope you are happy with this! ^^

Teruya x Tsurugi x Rei

-Tsurugi is a bit salty about the fact that he is the smallest in the relationship, he used to be the tallest dammit, how could he have sunk this low?! ...Literally!

-Rei was only like an inch or two taller than him but it was enough for Teruya to give him constant nicknames regarding his height and Tsurugi absolutely hates it

-Tsurugi also never gets Teruya’s vine references and it drives him insane, because he doesn’t understand while Rei just chuckles in the background because she knows what Teruya means but doesn’t interrupt them, because it is pretty funny

-”How does it feel to be the worst cop ever, huh?!”

Tsurugi, pointing his gun at Teruya: “What the fuck did you just say?!”

And then Teruya panics and probably cries and tries to explain that its a vine, he wasn’t serious, it was just a joke, please don’t kill him Tsurugi!

-Tsurugi is very protective of his two partners and everyone that tries to harass them will suffer the consequences, one way or another, so it is in your best interest to not mess with any of them, because Tsurugi is having none of it. Rei is mostly chill about it as long as you don’t hurt or insult any of them and Teruya will try to talk everything out, but he will fight you if you insult or hurt his partners

-In short, they are all protective of each other, Rei is the one that shows it the least, she has become pretty stoic growing up, less bratty but still kind of a tsundere. A...polite tsundere? 

-Teruya has to initiate every form of contact and intimacy, otherwise they would grow old and crusty sitting 5 inches away from each other on the couch and god dammit Tsurugi and Rei it’s not rocket science just get on with it already!

-Teruya definitely got them matching sweaters and you can bet that Tsurugi and Rei 100% and absolutely never wear them on any occasion except when Teruya begs them to wear it because he wants to make a picture

-Despite contrary belief, Teruya is the one that gets up first since he has a whole chain of grocery stores to take care off. He leaves them cute little notes on the bathroom mirror before leaving though

-Tsurugi gets up last and has to be coaxed out of bed by coffee or enough affection. Rei can provide both of that and even though coffee is the easier alternative, sometimes she just peppers his face with kisses to wake him up, his reactions are just the best

-He grumbles at first and pulls the blankets over his face, then shifts and turns the other side, his nose crinkles and he makes a sleepy noise before cracking one eye open, getting a little red in the face, making her laugh

-Rei sometimes takes pictures while waking Tsurugi up and sends them Teruya and the merchant has to laugh so hard or just kinda coos, because he thinks his two partners are simply the cutest thing  and grumpy tired Tsurugi is literally the best thing ever

-Teruya sleeps in the middle and Rei and Tsurugi cuddle up to him because he is the tallest and has the most to hug and be comfy on

-Rei usually cooks the food, she is home the earliest (dependant on Tsurugi’s shift) and she enjoys cooking to distress. Both love her food and Tsurugi is a bit salty when he has to eat ramen because it’s not time for dinner yet

-Lots of quick kisses, Teruya mostly kisses them on the forehead and Rei on the cheek, Tsurugi is also commonly referred to as Tsunderugi and pretends to be grumpy about it, even if he really isn’t, he will be grumpy if they don’t do ít though!

-Rei and Teruya can read Tsurugi’s body language without a hitch, it’s no problem for them, they even know which of his resting bitch faces displays what emotion

-They have a good synergy and balance each other out very well. The killing game really brought them together