#everyone else had each colour cut short

[bookworm-2692]

And here we are everyone! The final update to the Life Tracker with all the chaos at the end! Apologies for the delay here - most of my timing notes were done by Sunday, and then the graphs were complete by the middle of Tuesday, and now it’s Thursday morning. I have no good excuse this time, but here it is!

Previous posts: Session 7, Session 6, Session 5, Session 4. As usual, below the cut is close ups and data and commentary!

There were 37 deaths I counted this session up to Pearl’s permadeath, and then Impulse died twice more before some off-camera life exchanges occurred (Scott showed the first two, so they’re here with their timings, but then after that no one showed when Impulse gained an hour (so got two more kills), Martyn lost an hour (so died once), and Scott gained half an hour (so got a kill), and as you see something doesn’t add up and given that immediately after they get down to their final life I have elected to ignore it and just adjust the time anyway). Then there are the three consensual lava deaths, and then the three final deaths... so there were 45 on camera deaths this session, plus some extra off camera time shuffling.

I actually missed two deaths from Session 7 as well - I had them in my notes so my number of deaths matched what should be, but I somehow forgot to put them in the excel data, so I put them back this week. They were when Impulse fell and Cleo got the kill credit, as when as the Grian double kill on Bdubs and Cleo. I have also removed the 30 minutes I awarded Bdubs for his wolf killing Scar so that he could permadie at the correct time - though I left the 30 minutes Bdubs got for killing Joel in self-defence as a Yellow, as Cleo’s timer shows that she still had this, so I wanted consistency there.

Close up of Sessions 6-8 together

Close up of Sessions 7-8 together

Here you can see all the permadeaths together! It was far harder to label these lines than when players were alive and in a nice orderly line, so I hope this is fairly clear. And a close up of Session 8 alone:

Crazy how Pearl was briefly the one with most time, and Impulse’s habit of keeping his mouth shut about his time served him well - two hours into the session he had 4.5 hours, while Scott and Martyn were both down to 2 hours (and Grian on 1 and Pearl and Etho on half an hour). Scott wasn’t kidding when he said he stole all of Impulse’s time there.

I also decided to acknowledge Martyn’s /kill at the end there, and made him lose the rest of his time there.

Another interesting thing is the fact that Etho and Pearl’s mutual killing of each other, where they both net lost half an hour, didn’t actually effect their final placements. They were on under half an hour when they died, but if they hadn’t killed each other, they still would have been under an hour, and still would have permadied. Grian was definitely on the most time at his permadeath, and BigB got so damn close to it before being saved. If it had taken Mean Gills + TIES even a minute longer to find them and kill them, BigB would have died then (and Pearl may not have lost as much time as quickly as she did).

I do want to acknowledge that Pearl did gain an hour from permakilling Cleo. Because it was PvP, the half hour got automatically added. However, because Cleo permadied, her death message took up the entire screen and completely hid the message telling Pearl she gained 30 minutes, so Pearl then gave herself another 30 minutes. Which means she may have otherwise died when Etho pushed her, but I’m willing to let it slide - Martyn also gained 30 minutes for an unknown reason back between Session 3 and Session 4 that was never acknowledged or removed. He also never fell below two hours until they agreed to equalise, so it probably didn’t effect anything, but I do want both to be acknowledged here.

I also created the graph for the average time per team again, in two forms.

First: where dead people are included in the average

And the Session 6-8 close up of this

And the Session 7-8 close up

And below is the Session 7-8 close up of the version where dead people are removed from the average

I don’t have much to say here other than I think it’s interesting comparing the two. The first one suppresses how much time Impulse has on account of Skizz and Tango both being dead, but the second one shows it loud and clear.

Now is time for the data screenshots! This session was longer than every session except for the first - they had been averaging around two hours, but this time was an hour and a half. Presumably, this is because at the 2 hour mark, there were still 6 people alive, and three of them had an hour or less to live, and 15 minutes later there were only three but at that point you may as well let it play out.

The first 50 minutes of Session 8:

The next hour and 10 minutes of Session 8:

The final 30 minutes of Session 8:

As usual the red and green boxes indicate deaths and kills. The blue boxes is what I’m using for the “time equalisation” the three of them did off camera. I really tried to work out who would have killed who there but something didn’t work and then I decided it didn’t matter lmao. I did do their three lava deaths separately though because I’m still being anal there.

After doing all that, I finally worked out a better way of zooming in on the graphs, by remembering I can actually force the axes to be smaller, which means more detail can actually be seen. So here those are below.

Life Tracker Session 1-4:

I also finally worked out how to rotate the text boxes because it wasn’t working earlier, and I think it looks so much better there!

Life Tracker Session 5-8:

Here unfortunately the text on the left had to be huge for the spacing to work, but then on the right the text had to be much smaller so I could try to space all the names out at the point of death.

Life Tracker Session 6-8:

I actually made the 6-8 one before the 1-4 or 5-8 ones, so before I worked out the angled text, but I think this still works with just the names at the point of death (the start of the name is at the point of death, unless there’s commas in between and then they’re all at the same point)

Life Tracker Session 7-8:

Lots of little details here! We’re close enough that Tango’s death can separate from Scar and Cleo. You can see vertical lines close together rather than overlapping as well which is nice!

Life Tracker Session 8:

This one I did forget to change the title, but you can tell it’s Session 8 only. Tango, Scar, and Cleo died within two minutes of each other, it’s so tight. And Impulse and Scott were within six seconds of each other, so that was always gonna be impossible to separate.

Team Average Time Session 1-4:

Team Average Time Session 5-8:

Team Average Time Session 6-8:

Team Average Time Session 7-8:

Team Average Time Session 8:

I also have a copy of the above four with the dead people excluded, which I can share if people are curious, but this post is maybe getting a bit long right now, and I think the version where dead people are included is the better one to show - more accurate to team strength.

I also made some other graphs while procrastinating this post (because I was procrastinating making a decision about some of Bdubs’s deaths/kills to make the time work), but I will include those in their own post as this one is absolutely far too long right now.

I definitely had fun making these graphs each week, so I hope you guys enjoyed too!!

[theemporium]

golden retriever and black cat dynamic for sirius black x reader please maybe with him flirting with her and she usually never responds or reacts but one time she flirts back and he's just flustered but she walks away giving him a kiss on the lips maybe

thank you for requesting!🖤

part two

.

If there was one thing about Sirius Black, it was that he was utterly and undoubtedly insatiable when it came to you.

You were opposites as far as opposites could go. He was always bouncing around and happy to chat anyone’s ear off, you were happy to bask in the silence. He was a people person, you preferred spending time alone. The whole school knew Sirius Black like they were his best friends, you had a small inner circle you stuck to. He was the ever-loved Gryffindor bad boy with a reputation known by many, you were just the scary Slytherin most people avoided on a daily basis. 

You were an unlikely match in anyone’s eyes and, yet, somehow you had captured the heart of one of the most beloved bachelors in Hogwarts in a way nobody could ever comprehend.

“Did I tell you that you look absolutely gorgeous in those colours today?” 

“They are my house colours, Black,” you deadpanned, not even looking away from your bubbling cauldron.

“You’re right, I didn’t even notice,” he replied and before you could even stop him, he was leaning closer to you until his breath was tickling your cheek. “You’d look a lot better in red and gold though, love.” 

“Over my dead body,” you grumbled and swatted him away as you concentrated on the potion you had been brewing throughout the class.

“Don’t break my heart like that, love,” Sirius responded with a cheeky smile.

To anyone else, the lacklustre responses and short replies would have been more than enough to drop any semblance of a conversation with you. But not with Sirius, never with Sirius. They were like a challenge for him and a lot of the time he enjoyed your witty responses. He liked to think he was wearing you down, starting to at least reach friendship level boundaries with you even if everyone else said he was an idiot for trying. 

But it became like a nice routine for the boy, something he would complete every day and know he got to see you each day as well. It was a comfort he enjoyed. 

“Good morning, darling,” he greeted you as he approached you as you made your way towards the gardens. It had been a Saturday morning tradition of yours, one that Sirius picked up on and always managed to intercept with a charmed thermo of hot coffee ready for you. 

“Morning, Black,” you grumbled in response as you reached for the thermo without any arguments needed from his side. 

Sirius blinked, as if processing your lack of resistance, before he quickly spun on his heel and continued to walk down the path with you. 

“So, uh,” he cleared his throat, his brows furrowed together as he tried to string together a coherent sentence. “I…uh—”

You suddenly stopped and turned to face him. “Are you sick?” 

Sirius frowned. “No.”

“Then why are you acting weird?” you asked him, your eyes narrowing slightly. 

“You just—” but he cut himself off, just shaking head. “Nothing, love, I am completely fine.” 

“Fine enough to go to the Three Broomsticks tonight?” you asked him. 

Sirius only smirked. “As I do every weekend, darling. Didn’t realise you were keeping tabs on me.”

“Good,” you said with a nod of your head. “I’ll see you there at eight. It’s a date.” 

Sirius’ jaw dropped as you walked away, his eyes barely blinking as he let out some pathetic noise that seemed to catch your attention as you turned back to look at him. 

“You better not kiss with your mouth open like that, Black, otherwise this might be our only date,” you called out to him before you continued your walk towards the garden, leaving a slightly confused Sirius standing there with his cheeks burning a shade of red they had never seen before.

.

[dovand]

i am as always thinking about 14 and the nobles... specifically 14 & shaun. CRIMINAL lack of 14 & shaun content . excuse me that is my emotional support deranged lovers-in-law prongs of a queerplatonic throuple V. that is my little scrinkly wet cat and his chill saint bernard friend. that is my symbiotic relationship weirdos who sleep back-to-back to 14 can a) leech his body heat b) cuddle donna c) not fall off the bed. that is my favourite “both wake up early but one of them is being clung to like they are a teddy bear and it is Not Shaun, who is making ‘too bad’ faces at 14 and tiptoeing away” dynamic.

(14 either ends up dozing again after he wakes up early or just lays there curled up thinking—but, either way, when shaun shows up with breakfast in bed every sunday, he is treated to the beautiful sight of the two huge autism creature eyes peering up at him from behind the most bedraggled mop of hair ever seen. whether there are any thoughts behind those eyes depends on whether their owner has been napping or Pondering)

(yes this is all made up in my head!!! yes i am dismayed by there only being FOUR FICS (4!!) using it as a tag and none of them (afaict) doing it in a qpr way. where is my deranged weirdplatonic polycule!!!)

further insanity under the cut pleasseee please please read. please i need to be insane about this with people

(also btw this post is about queerplatonic doctordonna, doctordonna shippers i love you and you are welcome to contribute but it is a Little squicky for me so if tag ur additions (so i have a heads-up) that would be so lovely and i would adore you forever <3)

shaun likes listening to people ramble and 14 likes rambling so it is a regular occurrence to find the two of them like. standing in the kitchen holding cups of tea except one of them is actually drinking the tea and one of them is talking too rapidly about equivalent exchange to remember to blink, let alone have a sip of earl gray that has veered violently past lukewarm and is headed straight for room temperature

if 14 is in a not-wordy mood tho… thru shaun’s expert tutelage he has mastered the art of the Dad Nod. he passes shaun in the hall and gives him a little nod. shaun gives him one back. 0 words are spoken but they understand each other on a deeper level than if there had been.

they go on a Family Outing to a thrift store. rose and donna disappear to the dressier sections. shaun creeps along the racks of trousers, solemnly comparing seemingly identical pairs of jeans. 14 follows him and stares for a while, then silently hands him a loudly patterned pair of shorts. shaun takes them without question and adds them to his basket & sylvia loses her mind just a little bit when she sees him wearing them

(^ this inspired by going thrifting w my friend and looking @ everything and then finding her dad looking thru the racks of shorts comparing two beige ones, and my friend handing him a pair of pink shorts with penguins on and him buying them. because he has some . i think plaid shorts? at home and when he wore them his wife said he looked gay. so he’s trying to do it More) (it's an incredible family dynamic there. i have no idea what is going on)

god jesus. 14 learns how to cook so he can be the housething (as opposed to housewife or househusband. he is just a weirdgenderthing. little creature). someone buys him a nice apron and he wears it with so much delight. chases everyone else out of the kitchen so he can concoct something lovely. runs out into the garden to stick something into an oven in the tardis kitchen because “i am not working with enough ovens, here, people!”. organises the pantry and gets this crazed look if anyone tries to stop him. “how will i know where things a—” “it will be LABELLED.” brandishes a label maker that DEFINITELY is not from modern-day earth given that it seems to take dictation as input and can print in colour and has not needed a refill of paper even though he has extensively labelled EVERY PLASTIC BOX of stuff in the pantry

sometimes he gets into Moods where he needs to solve a problem before it makes his head explode and that used to be a like. tinkering in the tardis thing. where he’d have himself and whatever poor companion he was with just floating in the time vortex for a week while he tries to make this bit of the tardis do what he wants it to. now it’s a day or two spent almost entirely in the kitchen trying to find the scientifically optimal method by which to make meringues. he starts gesturing dramatically with a spatula forgetting it is not a sonic screwdriver. makes a sonic spatula. realises he doesn’t often need to like. scan a pancake for malware. sadly puts the sonic spatula away

he is absolutely a nightmare to watch movies with btw bc a) can’t sit still b) so tall. either he is bouncing his leg and shaking the whole couch or he is stretched out across the entire sofa. no in between. donna buys a thick rug so he can just lay on the floor. the rug is TOO comfortable and he starts just spending time laying on the floor which would be fine if he thought to turn the lights on because people keep almost stepping on him while he’s having 4am Floor Time (on the nights he's not drooling all over donna's pillow)

if anyone else has thoughts about Them PLEASe share i will love you so much and forever. doctor~donna/shaun weirdcule is the only thing in my head

[subtle-as-an-earthquake]

i am finally home and i'm pretty knackered but aaaahhh what a weekend!! ✨✨ so much happened in such a short amount of time, i'm still processing i think (also some personal stuff, that i won't bore you with). but yeah, the shows were absolutely epic, they were such good crowds for london standards. very rowdy but overall the atmosphere was amazing, and tbh that's probably in part because miles just exudes such incredible energy himself, if you ask me

just a little snippet of don't forget who you are from yesterday (night two) to illustrate:

also, a few random things i'm remembering now (which i'll put under the cut because i apparently remembered more than i thought):

miles seemed really really into it both nights, and really centered somehow? he was clearly having a blast and had everyone eating out of the palm of his hand, he's just SUCH an incredible showman. that's nothing new of course, but I was once again struck by just how very special and awe inspiring and just incredibly fun it is to watch him do his thing on stage. no one does it like miles fucking kane, baby

also, there were so many men in the audience who were just really letting go during the show, hugging their mates and singing the lyrics at each other, even full on crying when miles played colour of the trap (not even kidding, actual tears streaming down their faces). i don't think i've ever seen that at another gig to that extent, really. miles and his music seem to have - for want of a better phrase - a sort of liberating effect on a lot of men that's really nice to witness

on night one miles slipped on a spilled drink on stage and took a little tumble, but he recovered like a king and honestly it just made him look even cooler somehow lol

his arms and shoulders......... are sooooooo...... 🔥🔥🔥 dear fucking lord. his shoulders are broader than ever and honestly it was very hard to concentrate on anything else 🫠

after the show, we were chatting to ben for a bit who was just the sweetest and again talked about how he was a fan first (of arctic monkeys and tlsp and miles) and then sort of organically came to be a part of the band, and has just been having the time of his life so far! we were still chatting to him when miles came out after night 1, and when everyone started whooping, ben started screaming 'aaaaaahhh miles!!!' really loudly as a joke, before starting an impromptu chorus of the don't forget who you are 'la la la' that everyone joined in on. it was pretty hilarious

liam was super sweet too, and when he learned that i was dutch he was like 'oh we're playing a show in holland next week!' so i was like 'i know, i'm going!' and then he offered to put me on the guestlist, which was very kind of him even though i already have tickets lmao. he and ben both were very excited for that show for some reason, which made me even more excited as well!!

after night two ben and liam shared a massive hug outside and they both seemed really emotional, which was very sweet to see 🥺

nathan is the loveliest man alive. he said this tour was definitely the best one yet because the energy's just been amazing! he also asked us what are favourite album and song of the night was (his own fave was never taking me alive) and when I mentioned i just loved the bassline in coup de grace so much, he said it was as fun to play as it sounds, and that on the album it was actually miles who played it (that's probably common knowledge, but i didn't know!)

he also said that the band really is very close and they're all equals, and miles always says "we", and that he really is as kind and lovely as he seems 🥺 i mean, we knew that, but it was still really lovely to hear!

and of course, miles was once again just the most wonderful, gracious man ever with his fans, chatting to as many people as he could and taking pics with them and cooing at turtle paraphernalia, all while looking and smelling absolutely diviiiiine. he did seemed pretty knackered though, especially after night two, but that makes sense i think. and yet he still came out! truly a hero

as for my own chat with him, i for some reason went up to him like 'hiiiiiiiiiiiii' with my hands held out to him (idk man), and he just reciprocated my enthusiasm and took my hands and then held them and looked me in the eye while i rambled at him about how incredible i thought the show and he himself were, and he was just completely lovely, as always 🥺 such an angel

oh and finally, maxie is apparently staying with miles's mum while miles is on tour 🥺

i'm sure i'm forgetting things but this is already long enough 🙈 going to catch some zzz's now, i need them after this weekend

[theothernads]

°❀⋆ :･ ᶜʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ⁵: 𝐏𝐀𝐘 𝐔𝐏 || YJW

☰ ❛❛ 𝖮𝗉𝗉𝗈𝗌𝗂𝗍𝖾𝗌❞ Y.JW.

𝘚𝘺𝘯𝘰𝘱𝘴𝘪𝘴: 𐙚 ⋆ ｡ ˚:

Yn believed in logic. Jungwon believed in understanding his emotions. Their friends knew they would get into petty arguments. All in all, they desire a successful university life, away from their past and families. However, when murders appear in the premises of their own school, and the past comes back to meet them, they find a link and team up with their logic and emotions to find out the culprit and resume their normal lives. But, no one guaranteed their safety and their feelings for each other.

ᯓᡣ𐭩𝖸𝖺𝗇𝗀 𝖩𝗎𝗇𝗀𝗐𝗈𝗇 × 𝖿𝖾𝗆𝖺𝗅𝖾!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 ౨ৎ. ｡˚

☰ TAGS: college au, enhypen smau, jungwon+reader, thriller, yandere themes, crime, slow-burn, angst 𐙚

╰┈➤𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝: 𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚗 (comment or give an ask <3)

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚Full warnings on m.list page

╰➤ [ REBLOGS and COMMENTS are appreciated]

W.c: 4.9k

< m.list >

─────────────────────────────────

YOU SHUT OFF YOUR PHONE AS YOU AND YUNJIN MADE IT TO CAMPUS.

As the next week came, tickets had started to sell and the fundraiser or festival increased in multitudes in emails and posters. The school was shoving the upcoming events in your face, and honestly, you wanted to bury all of the bombarding information into the dirt.

The stalls and booths for each club was being nicely set up even though everything was scarce with colours since nothing was complete yet.

Soon enough, you and Yunjin greeted Jay, Jungwon, Sunoo and someone else. Upon realising the new figure, your eyes cast over him: he was tall, grey frame of glasses to shield his brown eyes and plump lips with his black hair cut to perfection. Two moles were engraved in his skin, and he was nothing short of a giant.

Sunoo waved to you as he leaned back against a wooden table with benches, arms crossed as he gave a lambent smile. Jay and Jungwon glanced from their phones where the twitter conversation just happened.

And so, you cast your gaze to the unknown figure standing by Sunoo, your questions arising.

"So... uh- who's this?" You glanced to Sunoo curiously to which everyone else also looked at him.

He gave a sheepish smile as he looked at you. "Ah- right. He's one of my old friends, Park Sunghoon."

The dude named *Sunghoon stepped to you, his dead eyes boring right into yours with an outstretched hand to shake. No smile, no nothing.

"I'm Park Sunghoon," he said again to pretty much everyone. His voice was deep, a subtle tone of ice underneath. Yunjin didn't shake his hand, so for courtesy, you shook his hand and smiled a little.

"I'm Yn..."

Still no smile, and you shrunk back next to Yunjin who also introduced herself. Well, he was certainly a social butterfly.

"I'm a computer science major," he said, standing back next to Sunoo. You and everyone else fell into an uncomfortable silence and Jay cleared his throat.

"Well, anyway. Me and Yunjin are planning to do a dance number with some other people," Jay commented, shifting the conversation through. Which, you were glad because Sunghoon was burning holes into you right now.

Sitting down on the benches, you got your phone out again, tapping on twitter to the link Jungwon provided. It led to an article simply saying the CEO - Moon Minseok - was climbing the ladder for success quite swiftly.

He was advancing quickly to build a new division for his company but the new sector was unknown and was yet to be disclosed to the public. Probably for suspense and attention.

It tickled your brain in a familiar way. Whilst everyone kept discussing the festival, you repeated 'GoMin' under your breath, as if a fleeting cue would stop by and give you a push in the right direction to a memory.

Though, every hit and attempt missed the target and you couldn't get anymore than a ghost of the name you were relaying.

"GoMin..." you repeated again, catching Yunjin's attention. She perched her chin on her palm, eyes focusing on you, confused.

Noticing her gaze, you shook your head into focus and glanced back at her bewildered face.

"You good?"

"Yes. It just feels awfully similiar. I don't know," you replied, flicking through the article and she chuckled.

"Are you sure it's not because the school has mentioned it a hundred times?" She joked, but seeing your disgruntled shrug, she stopped and nudged you.

"Why? Where do you remember it from?" Yunjin turned her body to face you even more.

That's the thing - you wish you could answer her, but you couldn't quite grab at the roots and find the source. It was as if you were grabbing air at this point.

Sighing, you turned off your phone and shook your head. "It's probably nothing."

Yunjin didn't completely believe you, but she left it at that before turning back to the boys discussing their plans for the fundraiser. Sunoo sat down next to Jungwon slowly and started speaking.

"Actually, I think one of my younger friends are coming to the festival. His name is Riki, in his senior year of high school." Sunoo nodded along as he spoke.

You sent a warm smile, deciding to gravitate away from the 'GoMin' company and to your social circle. "Is he going to come with you?"

Another timid smile crept up Sunoo's lips as he shook his head, causing everyone to give him a quizzical look.

"Why not? It's makes sense if he comes with you," Jay commented, and he said something that everyone was thinking at that moment.

"With the whole internship thing, I didn't get to sign up to anything and I'm busy catching up," Sunoo replied. It made sense, but you realised he was always missing out on certain events.

It was like you barely saw him anymore except a few study sessions at the café.

"I'm sure you can take a break," you interjected hopefully, leaning your elbows on the table. Besides, he was a part of your friend group but it seemed like he was a ghost in your presence.

Unyielding, Sunoo rejected and shook his hand and head. "I really can't."

Knowing he wasn't going to move his decision, you gave up on it and turned away. Jay chuckled a little, poking his head out to see Sunoo.

"This company is really caging you there huh?" Jay teased as everyone chuckled a little. Sunoo gave a tight smile and Sunghoon stood there on his phone like an iceberg.

"I mean, it is a little dodgy that they're not even being lenient on a university student." Yunjin shrugged, wondering how far they're willing to push a simple student.

Jungwon hummed and turned to Sunoo nonchalantly "Did you even ask them to give you a break?"

His voice was a little monotone, and nothing short of a scoff. Considering what Sunoo asked you last week, you gave a short glare to Jungwon, who didn't even notice it.

The others might not notice, but you felt the awkward cloud hovering over the table. You had to turn away again to breathe.

Sunoo mumbled before turning away from Jungwon. "They're already aware. But, it's nothing i can't handle."

With a little furrowed of Jungwon's brows, he casually glanced at Sunoo, giving the face that looked a little unbothered. You wished you could shut Jungwon up, knowing that there was already some doubts rooted in Sunoo's mind.

"Oh, so I guess you kind of landed yourself into that one," Jungwon remarked to Sunoo. The air kind of fell into a terse silence again until Jay cleared his throat.

"Well, it seems like they are a busy," he said, swerving the conversation to a lighter atmosphere. You're glad.

"I just hope they're not overworking you. You said it's unpaid, no?" You glanced to a blank Sunoo, who snapped out of it once you asked.

He gave a slight nod. "Yeah. But it's great experience. And they would give me a great reference."

"Just make sure they're not dodgy," Yunjin said, half-serious and half-joking. Sunoo just chuckled lightly, though it didn't reach his eyes.

"Hey, guys, I work there. I'll be fine." Sunoo drummed his fingers on the wooden table, sensing that everyone was a tiny bit worried for him, but he maintained his placid behaviour.

Everyone left it at that when the phones came out and everyone went back to their respective clouds of solitude. Sunoo took the chance to leave with Sunghoon, not before waving to you and Yunjin, to which you gave a respectful hand back.

After a good 5 minutes, Jungwon grumbled under his breath, letting him phone clatter to the table, alerting everyone of his little raincloud over his head. He soon ran a hand through his hair.

Jay glanced to him with a little side-eye. "You good there?"

Jungwon's brows dug deep into his head, a little frown tugging as always. You couldn't help but smirk at his continued rainfall of grimace that fell over him.

His head jerked to his phone, as if something horrible came upon it.

"Stupid film project." He pinched the bridge of his nose before glancing at his phone. Jay chuckled as he gave an are-you-serious look to his dear friend.

"You complained about this last time. Get a grip, Wonie, you're going to get projects."

"But do you even know the 'theme' or whatever?" Jungwon remarked with disbelief, as if thinking about it caused him internal pain. You rolled your eyes playfully, whilst Yunjin and Jay chuckled to themselves.

For Jungwon, it was a serious dilemma. "Individuality and warmth - what kind of shit is that?"

Amused, Jay decided to poke some more fun at Jungwon's strop.

"I think your teacher hates you," Jay said with another laugh under his breath. He knew Jungwon was the embodiment of ice- curt and hard to stay around if they were a complete stranger to him.

Yunjin joined in on the teasing. "Yeah, I think your teacher is out for you."

"He took one look at you and said, 'I'm going to make Yang Jungwon quit film'." You laughed under your hand, to which Jungwon narrowed his eyes at you and crossed his arms.

"Thanks for the support, guys," he grumbled, frowning at all of you guys with a voice deprived of joy, his cat eyes glaring at everyone.

"Even when thanking us you have to be sarcastic," Jay said, nudging Jungwon with a soft elbow. It only earned a peeved glower from the younger one, but you were thoroughly enjoying this.

"Yeah, you're totally going to fail this."

─────────────────────────────────

Balancing 100 small gift bags in your arms was supposed to be time-efficient but you did look ridiculous. You doubted you were going to make it outside to the gardening booth without dropping some.

The seniors were already outside setting up the kiosk and putting the informative banners up. All you had to do was get the paper things outside.

Easy enough.

Jungwon said he would join you, but after waiting for him in the gardening room for 5 minutes, your patience ran thin and you decided to bundle a bunch in your arms.

So, here you were, walking down the halls of Yoreun, some people staring; you have no idea if it's from how ludicrous you look or if the past, nefarious news hadn't shaken off your figure.

Whatever it was, you were determined to finish quick, so you sauntered in a not-so-straight line. You blew air into your bangs as you walked, gasping when one nearly fell off the surface of your arms.

Though, you managed to balance it, and relief swept through you.

The outside area was so close, and you picked up the pace, not seeing anything else but the doors leading to the readying activities.

Before you knew it, a figure harshly knocked into your shoulder, sending a few dozen bags onto the floor. You yelped and glanced to see who carelessly stepped in your way.

And you scowled.

"Minhee..."

She gave an innocent look, a fake pout sent your way before she glanced down at your paper bags. A spark of anger ignited in your chest, but you forced yourself to freeze the emotion whilst she stepped away.

"Oh gosh. I'm so sorry," she uttered, tucking an annoying strand of her brunette lock behind her ear and gazing at your feet.

Without speaking, you crouched down to pick them up, but it only caused more gift bags to tumble from your arms, making you curse from embarrassment andl scathing anger.

"Oh, yn, I feel terrible. I would help, but I have class in 5 minutes," Minhee said with a dastardly tone. You could only look up at her with a clenched jaw.

She gave you a little smile before departing, and you were about to stand and yank her back by the arm, when a hand gripped your own shoulder, making you halt and breathe a little easier.

Glancing back, Jungwon stood behind you, boba eyes searching for your attention. You sighed and blinked at him, your lips etched with a sour look. Jungwon noticed and turned you back fully.

"You know you shouldn't give a reaction, right?" He chimed, momentarily gazing at the bags before crouching down and starting to collect them. His hair fell over his eyes and you clicked your tongue before following suit.

"I know, but she's so damn... annoying." You picked up the bags with an agitated snatch, frowning. Jungwon hummed, voice smooth, continuing.

"She is. But you know she's just jobless," Jungwon interjected, giving you a flick of his brown eyes.

Gosh, you know. But, it was like dealing with those popular and snobby kids in school a few years ago. They think they're on the high hill, and everyone was their doormat.

You thought by the time you arrived to uni, those people would disappear, or at least see you as nothing more than a ghost in the hallways. But no - Minhee was a thorn sticking into your side.

"Should I just let her then? Let her bully me?" You scoffed bitterly as you picked up about 30 bags hastily.

That earned a weary sigh from Jungwon as he followed suit. "Not what I said. I'm just saying that you can't let her get to you."

"Thanks so much for the advice..."

Jungwon snapped his eyes to you again at your sarcasm before standing with about 50 bags.

"I'm serious. People like her don't have a life. Now stop complaining and let's go. It's not worth it," Jungwon said as he jerked his head to the doors you were aiming for.

Not saying anything more, you picked up the remaining fifty bags and followed behind him, still trying to stitch your composure back together after Minhee tore it apart.

The breeze was soft, but icy as you and Jungwon made the route to the booth containing Danielle and another girl. They were crouched next to a brown box, conversing. They were interrupted when Jungwon gently placed the bags down into a little crate.

You were waiting to do the same, but he was taking so damn long that you ended up swerving around him impatiently. Not to mention that some of his bags tumbled out the crate, quivering because of the wind.

You huffed and nudged his elbow with yours, to which he looked at you with furrowed brows.

"What?"

"You're not even putting it in right. They're all flying away," you explained, gesturing to his shaky, paper bags. A scoff escaped his lips as he gripped them.

"How am I supposed to do it then?" Jungwon said with a snide as he turned his scrutinising gaze to you. To demonstrate, you moved him aside a little to access the crate on the surface of the booth.

Then, you let the bags hung on your wrist of one arm to strategically stand in the container to show him exactly how to do it. Jungwon watched, but his eyes showed no spark of realisation.

It was more of indifference.

"See?" You snapped your eyes to Jungwon in a matter-of-fact tone. He shook his head, rolling his eyes and proceeded to shove the bags into the crate.

"Does it matter? Just place it in efficiently. There's about 200 more gift bags to get." Jungwon continued to nonchalantly sort what he needed.

You stared incredulously, and scoffed. "But you might ruin it though-."

"You know what, just give me your remaining bags," he interjected when his hands were empty. Refusing to do so, you stepped back when he stepped forward swiftly.

You believed you could do it yourself and could do so efficiently. Which is why you held his arm with your free hand and glared at him.

"I can do it perfectly fine, Jungwon," You said, defending your strategy. Despite the hand on his arm, he moved forward and his fingers shot out to grab your remaining bags.

"Hey-."

Immediately, you stepped back and bumped into the pole of the booth as he came forward and he may have done it a little harshly because the next thing you know, gravity is pulling you backwards and your fingers dug into the wooden surface of the kiosk in an attempt to keep yourself upright.

With a yelp, you fell backwards when he basically pushed you, and landed on your butt. An immediate ache washed up your back, but there was also a tingle of pain in one of your fingers. Your forefinger to be exact.

Jungwon stared as you fell on your back, successfully gaining some of your bags, whilst the others remained crumpled around your wrist.

Guilt flashed across him as he saw your pained expression and glare, but he just stood there as you stared at your pastel green nails.

You gave out a disgruntled gasp, your eyes widening when you saw the abomination that just happened. With a swift turn of your head, you faced Jungwon, who flinched a little.

"You asshole!" You exclaimed in an exasperated tone, shoving your hand in his face. He was so glad the seniors weren't around to witness your yell.

"What did I do-?"

He was about to flare back in the same way, but he saw your finger, tip of the nail broken off haphazardly from the effort you exerted on the surface of the wooden table.

Jungwon froze and didn't know whether to laugh or be scared. From the glare you gave whilst standing up, he did feel a hint of apprehension.

With a slam of your hands, the bags were roughly placed on the table before you whirled around to meet Jungwon.

A look of amusement and anxiety twinkled in his eye before it quickly dispersed at your scowl. You invaded his space with your broken nail, a frown etched on your lips.

"Do you find this funny?" You accused Jungwon, stepping towards his taller figure. He didn't give an answer, but his shoulders hunched as if he was guiding the truth away from you- he found this funny.

Outraged, you nudged his chest softly, and he flinched, hiding the slight smirk of mirth. "Yang Jungwon, I'm actually going to kill you!"

He put up hands of surrender, brown eyes narrowed at you in defence.

"I didn't do shit," Jungwon asserted as he glanced down at you, remnants of amusement left in the slight crevices of his expression. You scoffed and cradled your poor nail with a desolate pout.

"You broke it," you whined to him. Your perfectly green pastel nail was now chipped off and somewhere in the dirt.

And gosh, did it tingle greatly with pain.

Upon hearing your cry, you saw Jay and Yunjin meander over whilst you mourned your nail, a flicker of annoyance immersing your whole being. Jungwon looked at them with a hand running through his silk strands.

The other two, seeing your distress, already knew what was coming. When they came over, Yunjin suppressed a chuckle when she saw your dramatic hug of your hand. Smirking, she crossed her arms whilst Jay rolled his eyes and hands tucked into his pockets.

"Want to explain why you're screeching like that?" She asked with a tease in her tone, mischievous eyes fluttering at you and Jungwon.

Though, you weren't in the mood for her cheeky comments and showed her your finger instead, showing the atrocity that was chipped on your nail. It took her a few seconds before she realised and made an 'ohhhh' gesture.

On the other hand, Jay couldn't help but smirk at the fact your green nails were ruined, and Jungwon stood there with a hint of remorse but more amusement than anything.

"Do you see this? He broke my nail. What am I supposed to do about this?" You asked tersely, your tone tense.

"Jungwon broke your nail?" Yunjin repeated, tilting her head and flickering her gaze to Jungwon. By the look on the younger one's face and the averted gaze, she guessed you weren't lying.

"Yes, he did. Do you think I would have ruined it?" You muttered back to Yunjin, examining your finger.

Jungwon glanced to you and your dramatic state. "I'm sorry, but I was just trying to get the bags."

"Asshole, I said I would put them down?"

"Yeah, in slow motion. I was trying to be time-efficient. We have more supplies to get," Jungwon retorted with furrowed brows, his body turned to you and a sassy hands on his hips.

His audacity, you thought. "And how did that work out?"

"Look, I said I'm sorry!" Jungwon threw his hands in the air in an exaggerated manner, his tone growing annoyed. You pouted whilst Jay and Yunjin giggled.

You're so glad you're the source of their little chuckles, but what were you supposed to do about this horror? You kept staring at your nail until Jay smirked and looked at Jungwon suspiciously.

"Why doesn't Jungwon just pay to get your nails done again?" Jay suggested. At that, it was as if your tingling nail disappeared from your thoughts. You slowly turned your gaze to Jungwon, who had a dropped frown.

And Jay's idea didn't seem bad at all. Your gaze melted into mischief and Jungwon looked at you as if he knew you would follow Jay's route.

"What a perfect idea!" You exclaimed, dropping the remaining bags into the crate and turning to Jay with a sweet smile. "Thank you, Jay."

Jay gave a mock salute, clicking his tongue as he did so. "You're welcome. Drain his card."

Jungwon scoffed in betrayal. "Are you kidding me?"

Shrugging, Jay ignored Jungwon's clear display of anguish and smiled at you. You were ecstatic and you honestly were due to change your nails anyway.

Heck, you wanted a different colour, charms, and obviously nail care because Jungwon obliterated your poor nail.

That's how you found yourself sitting in the nail salon at 4.30 pm, Jungwon to your left, and your right hand held by an older lady. The hum of the bright lights immersed the room in serenity, and Jungwon looked mildly bewildered.

It was as if he was a creature to a new environment, eyes focused intently on your hand that was being scoured by the technician, practically peeling off your old pastel green coat on your nails.

You noticed his curious eyes from the corner of your gaze, and looked up from your phone with a raised eyebrow.

"Did something catch your attention?" You asked, looking back at your phone and trying to find a nail design to enrapture your attention. Jungwon snapped out it, his focus leaving the curve of your hands and fingers.

"No, I'm just... confused. This is what you pay for every month?" He inquired, almost addled at the thought of paying so much for some... nails.

You sent a small smile to him as you shook your head in feign disappointment. "Why not? I'm pretty with it."

"You need nails to feel pretty?" Jungwon said with a deadpan look, eyes boring into yours as he leaned on the counter. You scoffed and shot your eyes to him.

"That's not what I mean. I like nails, and I want to do them for myself." You turned away to your phone on yesterday flat surface, scrolling through an endless list of designs in Pinterest.

He didn't react, but it seemed as up he still didn't understand. Deciding not to drag it on, he glanced at the screen, seeing your finger hover a few pictures of nails. From that, Jungwon concluded it must be inspiration. Except, you were incredibly indecisive and you couldn't choose a single idea to replicate.

Sighing in exasperation, you slid the phone into his view and pointed to it with determination.

"Choose one."

Jungwon shot an incredulous look as his face scrunched up into a scowl. "You want me to choose?"

Enthusiastic, you nodded silently in the chilled air of the salon. For Jungwon, a wave of uncertainty washed over him, and all he said was: " I don't know."

Of course he didn't. You frowned and grumbled under your breath as you scrolled more and more on the Pinterest page.

"You're actually useless," you mumbled, which earned a sharp look from him. Then, you added: "But since you're paying, I'll let you off."

You saw him turn away to gaze at the selection of nail polishes behind the technician, the array sending him into more confusion. He decided not to comment much. "Just don't drain my card."

"Thanks for giving me the idea," you said with a little smile full of mischief. Jungwon groaned and swiped the phone over to himself, scrolling.

When you whined and tried to get it back, he had selected a simple photo, one with the most simple French tips and a gloss coated over the nails. You weren't a simple girl - so this was unacceptable.

"Here. This one is nice," Jungwon interjected as he tilted the phone to your view. Shaking your head, a scoff escaped your lips.

"You didn't choose before and you don't get to choose now either. Give me," you chimed, batting your eyes at him with mock sweetness before snatching back your phone. He ran a hand through his raven hair and pouted a little from your clear rejection.

To be fair, he didn't choose them randomly. He genuinely thought the simple looks suited you, but how could he forget about your colourful personality.

Once the nails were cleaned, cut and filed, you finally chose a design and the technician went on her way to fulfill your vision. For a moment, all was silent, tranquil. A comfortable silence swayed between you and Jungwon, his brown eyes focused on your nails.

You couldn't help but think of him as a curious cat his head tilted, unblinking as he gazed at the operation on your fingers.

You noticed the way he didn't have any hostility in his face, no annoyance in his brows. He actually seemed peaceful, his chin leaned on his palm, hooded eyes sauntering over the curve of your hands.

When the technician pulled out the box of charms and twinkling gems, he snapped out of it and raised an eyebrow at the display, face inching closer.

"What are those?" Jungwon asked, addled. His tone just made you laugh as you turned to him, eyes turning to crescents.

"Charms?" You said, also mirroring his raised eyebrows. You don't understand why he was so confused, and it only gave you a realisation that he must be living under a rock.

He gave a little nod, leaning on his palm again, eyes never leaving your fingers.

"How much are they?"

"About 35,000 won?"

As soon as he heard that, Jungwon's balance on his palm practically faltered as he looked at you with a snap of his eyes. Shock swept over his face as he saw you completely unbothered.

"What!?"

About half an hour in, Jungwon yawned as he stared at your nails again, and then stared back at his. You also turned to Jungwon, seeing his tanned hands, the veins running down his arms, and you looked away.

Like before, an unfamiliar heat crept up your neck, and you became increasingly cautious of your gaze. To distract yourself, you started to speak.

"Why don't you get your nails cleaned. They're kind of crusty."

A scoff almost escaped Jungwon, brown eyes narrowing at you as if he was gripped by disbelief. "That's a new one."

Waving him off dismissively, you continued your ongoing pursuit of trying to get him to waste his money more but also make his nails look pretty.

"I'm just saying that even a guy can get his mails cleaned." You smiled a little, an underlying mischief buried in your tone. Jungwon shook his head, tilting his head at you again.

"My nails are just fine-."

Though Jungwon found himself giving his hand to another nail technician, his left hand was filed and cleaned by another lady.

A smile broke out on your lips the whole time, enjoying the slight burrow in his brows, the concentration and genuine curiosity of how the lady did it. Another serene silence immersed the air, comforting you.

With your first hand done, you sighed and perked up as you showed Jungwon your right hand with excitement. It made him turn to see the nude colour, the gems diligently engraved into your nail and an elegant gloss over the coated colour.

Absentmindedly, Jungwon clutched your hand with his free one, bringing it closer to himself, causing your breaths to catch in your throat, eyes unblinking. His hands were warm, and you swear, you felt a tingle run up your arm.

Maybe it was the fact you never had the touch of a man, but you kept your breaths calm, your words unspoken; though, to be so alarmed by Jungwon holding your hand made you feel pathetic, a heat running up your cheeks.

To you, it didn't seem like he noticed your flustered state because he was way too engrossed in seeing what was worth 35,000 won. Well, not until the silence was broken by the technician asking for his other hand.

Jungwon blinked and let go of your hand gently before giving his right hand underneath the glass. Only then did he realise that he held your hand so intently, and he cursed internally.

Even you didn't say anything, way too nestled by the thought of your cheeks heating up at the small contact of his warm hand.

─────────────────────────────────

A/n: Lmao, I'm back <3 still planning chapter 31 and onwards, and I realised how much violence is in this...😀 thx for reading <3 also, I'm sorry if some of the quality of the pics are BAD. Idk why💀

---✄┈┈┈┈

Taglist: @ilovejungwonandhaechan

[dingusfreakhxrrington]

Promise

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader

summary: spencer hasn’t been the same since the kidnapping and everyone knows it. you just wished he’d opened up to you sooner.

warnings: mentions of kidnapping, heavy indication of drug use, mentions of trauma, lots of angst, season 2 spencer, direct references to 2x15

word count: 2.3k

read on ao3

friendly reminder that comments and reblogs are just as (if not more than) important as likes!

It’s been months since the kidnapping, months since you almost lost him.

Spencer was back to work almost too quickly, somehow passing his psych evaluation with flying colours, but you knew he wasn’t okay. Everyone did.

He’d grown distant, quieter than usual. Most days he would try to act normal and pretend nothing was wrong but you knew better than to fall for that. Spencer wasn’t very good at hiding things from the people who cared about him, especially when it was you.

The two of you had been close since you joined the BAU. You had a lot in common and you understood him better than anyone else on the team. When he rambled, you listened. When he started spewing out different statistics, you were the only one who never cut him off. You noticed his stimming and his random hyperfixations. You were one of the few people on the team who he truly felt he was never being judged by.

So, when he stopped rambling so much and more often than not you found him sat quietly disassociating so intensely, you knew exactly where his brain was straying, you knew he wasn’t okay.

He’d spoken to Morgan and Gideon but only briefly and, although they had managed to get him to confide in them, you knew there was still something he was hiding. There was more to it and you could see it eating away at him. Everyone could.

“Reid!” you called out to him as you rushed out of the building, hoping to catch him before he left for home.

His head quickly turned back to you and he knitted his brows as you hurried over to his side. Although he said nothing, you knew he was asking a silent question from the tilt of his head.

“Do you want to grab a coffee with me?”

“A coffee?” he asked, checking his watch as if only to remind you that it was an unusual time to get coffee, especially when you were both heading home to unwind after a long day at work.

“Right, yeah. Okay, how about dinner then? I know you’re only going to get a crappy takeout anyway. We don’t have to go out but if you come over I’ll cook for you?”

He smiled, although you could see a glimpse of another emotion in his eyes. You weren’t entirely sure what it was but you didn’t miss the way he held his arm, long fingers wrapping just a tad bit too tensely around his forearm.

“You know what, I’d love to but-“

“No buts, Spencer. I’m cooking for you tonight. You need a proper meal for once,” you cut him off, and began heading towards your car.

With a small smile, Spencer shook his head and followed after you, knowing you wouldn’t take no for an answer.

His strange behaviour only continued during the drive home. He seemed distracted and on edge, though you were unsure why. Whenever you tried to bring it up in conversation, asking if he was alright, he’d just insist he was fine and then change the topic of conversation.

He’d been doing this for weeks. Insisting he was okay when you knew he wasn’t. In truth, he hadn’t only been distant and distracted since he came back to work. No, he’d also been acting strange. Sometimes he was rude and antsy as if he was subtly lashing out, and on occasion, he would completely disappear for short periods of time.

You’d asked Morgan about it, hoping he of all people would have been able to provide you with more insight but even he was unsure why Reid was behaving in such a way. In fact, he had been hoping you would have the answers. All he could chalk it up to was the way each case was getting to Reid. Everything had been different after he had become a victim himself.

“Do you want anything to drink? A glass of water? Juice? Something alcoholic?”

He made his way over to your couch, as always seemed to be his routine now. You weren’t particularly in the habit of inviting colleagues over but you had had Reid, Morgan and Garcia over on occasion. Whenever they came around, Reid always made a b-line for a space on the couch. Even now, it seemed.

“Some water would be great.”

You hummed and poured the both of you a glass before slumping down beside him on the couch. It felt nice to be able to relax although you could still tell something was off with him.

“Hey, can I use your bathroom?” he spoke after a few minutes of sitting in silence.

“Yeah, of course. You know where it is.”

Your smile dropped when he reached the hallway but you shook it off and started to prepare dinner. You couldn’t blame him for getting takeout most days as you often did the same. It was always so hard finding the time or energy to cook after a long day at work.

When Spencer came back from the bathroom he seemed different again. He didn’t utter a word to you as he sat back down on the couch, his body slumped over more than usual as he rested his head back and closed his eyes. You watched him from your place in the kitchen, thankful for your small apartment at this moment as it allowed you to keep an eye on him.

Still, you had already dragged him home with you and he was probably exhausted so you didn’t want to press. Instead, you opted for getting dinner cooked so that, at the very least, he could have a nice warm meal.

However, dinner hadn’t been the only reason you’d invited him over.

He sat opposite you at the table, thanking you for the food as he began to tuck in. The one thing that had struck you as odd, however, was the fact that he hadn’t taken his jacket off once since he’d arrived.

Usually, at the very least, he would have thrown it over the back of a chair and, on occasions when he was particularly tired, he’d even loosen his tie as well. Today, however, his clothes were almost too put together. In fact, you realised then that you hadn’t seen him with so much as a hair out of place in months. Not that that had hidden the dark circles under his eyes or the redness that often resided within them.

“Spencer?”

He only hummed in reply, his head swaying ever so slightly as he lifted it to look at you. His eyes seemed watery and his cheeks were somewhat flushed. He scratched the side of his neck, yet another tell in his body language that was bringing you closer to the source of his strange behaviour.

“Are you okay?” you asked as you piled the dishes up next to the sink, telling yourself you’d wash them later.

He stood from his chair, once again with knitted brows. “Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

He was scratching again, this time at his arm — the same arm he’d held when you approached him outside of work.

You sighed, growing tired of his lies. “Why won’t you talk to me? I know something is wrong, Spencer. You haven’t been right for a while.”

His eyes strayed from yours and he rubbed his hand up and down his arm, stopping just before he reached his elbow every time.

“I’m fine, really.”

You stepped closer. “No, you’re not.”

He glanced up at you again with guilt in his eyes. He knew he couldn’t hide it from you any longer, no matter how much he wished he could.

“Talk to me, please.”

You moved closer again but he stepped back when you reached out for him as if he were afraid you’d figure it out if you so much as touched him.

You didn’t want to believe it but you were a profiler, you studied human behaviour for a living and you’d been watching Spencer for some time now, determined to find a way to help ease his pain.

It was a truth you were reluctant to believe but, if you were right in your conclusion it meant things were worse than you’d initially thought.

A part of you didn’t want to confront him about it but as you’d stood there with him you knew you had to.

“Take off your jacket.”

His eyes snapped back up to yours and he looked afraid. Not of you, but of what you were asking. Of what he knew you would find.

“W-Why?”

You didn’t answer him because you knew he knew why. Instead, you simply stood waiting for him to do as you had asked.

His eyes drifted from yours and he shook the clothing from his shoulders, turning for just a moment to put it down.

When he turned back to face you, your hands were already reaching for his arm and oh-so-gently pulling the sleeve of his shirt up.

“Oh, Spencer.” It came out in a gasp as your hand covered your mouth, heart breaking at what you had discovered.

Tears began to prick at your eyes as you softly ran your thumb across his skin, careful not to press over any of the marks that littered his arm.

“I’m sorry.” His voice was quiet, broken.

All of a sudden you found yourself lunging at him as you threw your arms around his fragile frame, holding him tight as if to try and tell him it was okay.

You still didn’t want to believe it, the guilt was eating you alive. You should have noticed sooner, you should have been there for him, you should have known. But there was no way you could have, not when he didn’t want you to know. He had been hiding this from you, from everyone. He didn’t want anyone to know.

It wasn’t your fault, yet that was little comfort to you.

He’d been using this whole time. Even now, in your own home, yet you weren’t angry with him. How could you be when this was of no fault of his own? You knew it had been Tobias who had done this, who had given him his first dose. If Spencer had had any say in it, he would have never gone near it.

You cried into his vest. holding him so tight you were almost afraid he’d struggle to breathe, yet his arms soon began to wrap themselves around you too as his body began to softly shake.

Together, you cried for what felt like an eternity as he was finally forced to face what he had become.

When you finally parted, he was wracked with guilt once again.

“Please, y/n. You can’t tell anyone.”

You finally worked up the courage to look him in the eye again and, when you did, you found your expression softening once again. “You need help, Spencer.”

Skittishly, he nodded his head. “I-I know but if they find out I could lose my job. I-I could-“

“Hey, it’s okay. We’ll figure this out. I promise. We’ll talk about it tomorrow, okay? When you’re sober. You can stay here tonight, I don’t want you going home by yourself, but I need to know, Spencer: do you have any more with you right now?”

He gulped and reached for his bag, pulling out two more doses. Although he was hesitant, he passed them to you. The moment they were in your hand you found yourself tearing up again and so did he.

“I’m sorry, y/n. I’m so, so sorry.” He buried his face in his hands, too ashamed to look at you.

Without a second thought, you hugged him again before slowly coaxing him to your bedroom. You helped him get somewhat comfortable, although he would have to sleep in his clothes, and tried to calm him down. You just wanted him to know he was safe and that you were there for him, no matter what.

“I’m going to get rid of these, get some sleep, okay?”

His eyes searched yours for any sign that you were going to leave only to call Hotch but he could see the sincerity in your eyes, he knew you weren’t going to do that. Not yet, at least. So, he nodded and closed his eyes, deciding to leave his fate in your hands.

A part of you suspected that Hotch already knew. He was far more experienced than you, after all. If you could see the signs then surely he could too. The only thing you couldn’t understand was why he hadn’t done anything about it.

Perhaps he too knew Spencer would likely lose his job or, at the very least, need to take time off of work to recover. Maybe he couldn’t afford to not have him on the team. Or, maybe he trusted Spencer to work through it on his own. Either way, you were angry that no one had done anything to help him.

So, with shaky hands, you poured the bottles down the drain and went back to his bag, digging through it to make sure there was nothing left. He had told you the truth and given you all he had with him. Still, you took the needles to dispose of them too.

When you returned to your room, he was already fast asleep.

You brushed his hair from his face, wanting to check he was okay, and whispered more to yourself than to him, “We’ll get you clean, Reid. I promise.”

feel free to let me know if you want to be added to or removed from my taglist!

[flowercrowncrip]

Here's some things I found useful while house/bedbound for @crengarrion and anyone else who might find it useful. Being house/bedbound is incredibly shit, these are things that helped me, but they didn't by any stretch make it easy.I want to point out that this is just what helped me, so may not be good for everyone. Anyone with experience is very welcome to add on things that have helped them.

hobbies I especially found creative hobbies were the best for me. I used to keep an art journal in an old Filofax that would have bits of writing, collages and paintings about different things I was feeling, experiencing, or wanting to experience. It wasn't technically amazing, but it was very personal and satisfying to make as well as being an outlet for all the shit feelings that come with being stuck in bed/at home. Other things I've done are fibre arts, colouring and writing (bad) poems.

Learning new things the Libby app is my friend here for getting e-books and audiobooks, and there's also YouTube and documentaries. BBC sounds has some good audio documentaries and podcasts, I also find language learning good for engaging my brain in different ways.

Find a community this one is especially challenging when you're stuck at home. But online communities are great, and there are various online social groups that use things like zoom or discord. I have an online queer group group I go to when I can't get out, there's also lots of disability specific ones if you look around online.

Life having something alive can make a huge difference, whether it's a houseplant, a pet (or your friends pet that can come in for short visits) or cut flowers have all made noticeable difference to my mood when stuck in the same place. If you're lucky enough to live somewhere where there is a view out the window, do what you can to make sure this is accessible (before I moved I had a mirror hanging so that I could see out the window while in bed)

Routine it can be really hard to have a routine when you can't go out. Things like eating at the same time, changing from day clothes to night clothes (even if both are pyjamas), trying to shower a set number of times a week, or always having a cup of tea in the evenings… Basically anything that gave structure to my days and my weeks was good. Having a TV show or podcast that comes out on the same day each week can give you something to look forward to. This was probably the thing I struggled with the most.

As for practical stuff, having the right equipment makes a world of difference. Some of it can be hard to access/expensive depending on what support you are eligible for or even exists where you live. If you're bedbound, having way to sit up comfortably in bed (if you're able to sit) makes a huge difference. If you are able to get a profiling bed I would 100% recommend it, but those are expensive if you have to fund it yourself. An alternative is that there are loads of specialist cushions or wedges you can get online at various prices. An over bed table will properly make your life a lot easier as well if you can get one.

If anyone else wants to add anything, please do!

[nskiyuriz]

tag writing game!! thanks @bueris <3

uhm uhmmmm brief excerpt from an upcoming nagireo fic in my drafts !!!!!!! it's very much a wip and will not see the light of day for a while but enjoy nonetheless ..

Football was a confusing sport. This is something Nagi realised mere days after being dragged into it by Reo. There was very little point to it and it was incredibly dramatic for what it was. It suited Reo in a way, not because he was over dramatic or anything, but the sport had a certain energy to it that perfectly encompassed everything that Reo was - the boldness, the enthusiasm, the confident aura the sport exuded, it was all Reo. And so, if football was Reo, then Nagi would have no choice but to stick with it. Really, it was no wonder Reo enjoyed the sport so much, he fit right into the scene as though he had always belonged there. Nagi, on the other hand, looked a bit out of place. Not once did Nagi actually understand what was going on when he played football with Reo. It was all just meaningless words and fast-paced movements that left Nagi’s head reeling. At least Nagi could follow Reo’s instructions in the game, telling him exactly where to go and what to do. That was easy enough. Scoring goals that way was easy enough. Football with Reo was easy enough. Despite how easy it was, Reo remained equally impressed each time Nagi managed to score a goal. He was all bright smiles and excited yells as he would run up to Nagi, springing up onto his back or slinging an arm over his shoulder. The fleeting touches were strange, unfamiliar to Nagi, but not unwelcome. His skin burned where Reo’s had come into contact with it, but somehow, for whatever reason, Nagi felt as though he could withstand the burn if it was Reo. And so, he withstood it. The fleeting touches lingered and lingered, bleeding into the rest of Nagi’s monochrome life, splashes of colour amongst the shades of grey. The warmth and vibrance was something Nagi had never experienced before, so gentle and yet so dangerous - addictive. Reo was addictive, really, every part of him. Nagi was beginning to understand what everyone else saw in him, just why he was so popular. Although he suspected not many other people saw Reo in the way he did, in the quiet moments where it was just the two of them. The true, genuine smiles that reached the depths of enchanting violet eyes, a sight that only Nagi was able to witness. It was magical, having Reo all to himself in moments like that, something he could never have imagined, not even in his dreams. A few weeks had passed since their first meeting, something Reo had described eloquently as a fateful encounter that was destined to occur. Nagi didn’t really see it the same way, but he couldn’t deny how glad he was that they had met. Reo had gone and changed his life in the mere weeks they had known each other for, completely flipping Nagi’s dull little world on its axis. His presence had been overwhelming at first, a constant buzzing noise always following him around like a very persistent fly, but Nagi found himself acclimatising to it very quickly. Arguably, Nagi would find it weirder if Reo wasn’t by his side now, he’d gotten way too used to Reo being with him.

thanks for theeee taggggg uuuauhvvbbbbbvvhgvbb this is likeeee a really short part of the fic bc the entire thing is kinda connected .. so i wasn't sure where to cut it off for this but uhhhhh yeah i write sometimes !

unnamed nagireo fic coming to ao3 soon ! (it is NOT soon, i have literally written NOTHING.... it's currently 3k words of prose and a dream.... no plot .. nothing.. 😭😭😭)

my ao3, for those interested!

[fandomnsfw]

My Blushing Red Head - Ronald Weasley x Reader

Pairing: Ronald Weasley x Malfoy!Reader

Prompt: My love for Ron and the lack of Ron fics.

Warnings: SMUT, fist fights, swearing etc. my names fandomNSFW for a reason 🤣

Description: You transfer to Hogwarts in your 6th year but as a Malfoy people have expectations ones that you have no intention of filling. Especially when a certain red head catches your eye.

Beta is my lovely @lets-imagine-fanfics she edited two fics last night so a big thank you to her ❤️

ENJOY!!

**********

The tall red head ran around the corner coming in at an alarming rate, straight for the dining hall. A few people turned to stare at him as he finally skidded to a stop in front of his two friends panting like a mad man. Hermione raised her brow at him as he was trying to splutter out a sentence that didn’t make a lick of sense. Harry chuckled a little as he observed his best friends face which was as red as his hair. 

“W-We have a transfer!” Ron stuttered still trying to catch his breath. 

“I didn’t think that ever happened?” Harry frowned as his eyes flickered to Hermione who just shrugged like she hadn’t heard of it either. 

“They're a Malfoy!” Ron whisper yelled at his friend making their eyes widen. 

“Oh great. Just what we need, another Malfoy. Did you see them? What year?” Hermione asked curiously.

“Our year. Nah didn’t see ‘em, Snape found me eves dropping.” Ron huffed with a pout as he started shovelling food into his mouth.

Hermione rolled her eyes at the red-haired boy as he blatantly ignored her look of disgust. Harry turned towards the halls giant doors with wide eyes suddenly, nudging Ron harshly making him glare at the other boy before taking in his wide eyes and following his line of sight.

Ron’s eyes widened to match his friends as he finally saw what he was looking at. There stood a H/C haired girl dressed in a cropped white shirt, a short black pleated skirt, with over the knee socks. Her hair was curled and pinned half back out her face and she wore heeled black loafers that made her legs look long and way more sexy than anyone should look in a Hogwarts uniform, in Ron’s opinion at least.

The biggest shock was the fact that she was covered in Gryffindor colours. Her black socks had red and yellow stripes at the top as well as a little Gryffindor badge on the side of each sock, she wore the red and yellow satin tie that was cut a lot shorter than everyone else’s and when she finally turned her head Ron saw a cute little Gryffindor bow at the back of her pinned back hair.

“Blimey.” Ron muttered his face turning the same colour as his hair.

“She’s a Malfoy?” Harry asked in shock a his jaw dropped.

Just then Draco stood up from his place at the Slytherin table and made his way over to his apparent family member. Everyone watched intently as a sneer made its way to her face. Draco scoffed at something she said before giving her a shove and before anyone knew what was happening Ron was out his seat.

However, before Ron could intervene she picked up her heeled foot and slammed it down on Draco’s shiny shoe covered foot. He let out a massive scream of pain as he hopped up and down on his uninjured foot while at holding his potentially broken one. Ron burst out laugh as he finally took the courage to approach the girl.

Your P.O.V

“That was bloody brilliant. Ron Weasley.” A voice said behind you causing you to spin around to face a rather handsome red head. His hand was held out to you it greeting.

“Y/N Malfoy. I’ve heard of you, Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger. The tales of your adventures and battles are very popular amongst other witch and wizards schools.” You chuckled making Rons eyes widen as you took his hand and gave it a soft shake.

“They didn’t tell me how handsome you were though.” You added with a smug smirk on your face as Ron’s face turned bright red matching his gorgeous hair, his hand slipping from yours.

He opened his mouth to speak however nothing came out as he seemed to splutter for any kind of vocabulary. He chose to point at himself, looking mildly confused which made you grin from ear to ear. Adorable. That was the word floating around in your head as you giggle behind the sleeve of your robe.

“Cute.” You mumbled behind your raised hand.

“You’ll have to excuse Ron he appears to loose the ability to speak around any outspoken confident females.” A female voice snorted behind Ron making you glance around to see a petite girl with mousy brown hair in curls. She was smartly dressed but you instantly felt like she’d been the kind of girl you wanted as a friend.

“Hermione Granger, and this is Harry Potter.” Hermione added making you smile happily.

“It’s so nice to meet you.” You giggled as you glanced at Ron again, who had still yet to move.

“I apologise, it’s seems I broke him.” You added making Harry burst out laughing.

“Ron snap out of it man. What could she have possibly said that shocked you this much?” Harry snorted quietly to Ron but you heard it anyway.

“S-She called me handsome.” Ron whispered into Harry’s ear as you had began busying yourself with a conversation with your fellow witch.

“Snap out of it man. If a beautiful girl tells you that, you need to return the sentiment. Or ask her out for a butterbeer or something.” He huffed with an eye roll as he finally turned back towards you.

Your eyes flickered to him see him finally move his eyes meet yours getting momentarily lost in them until Harry jabbed his elbow into the side of his ribs. You rolled your lips in an attempt to suppress your smile. You rarely spoke to boys in general, when you were at Castelobruxo in Brazil you hated most of the boys there. And you were definitely never that confident but being near someone so shy and stuttering made you gain confidence you never thought you had. 

“I-I can show you around if you’d like…Or walk you to y-your first class. If you’d like me to, obviously. If not that’s okay too. Oh god stop talking Weasley.” He muttered that last part to himself, but you heard which caused you to giggle as you approached him with your head held high.

You stood directly next to him before gripping onto his bicep and looking up at him. He looked at you then his friends with wide eyes before looking back towards you with a dopey smile that made your heart skip a little. He’s so cute.

Instead of being a typical egotistical boy who puts his hands in his pockets, as if having you hanging there was just an accessory, he bent his arm and used his other hand to place it over yours. It was something you’d seen your grandmother and grandfather still do when they went for a walk.

“I’ll catch you later guys.” Ron mumbled as he shyly glanced down at you. 

“Okay lover boy.” Hermione snorted with a dramatic eye roll as she dragged a Harry back to the dining table.

Ron led you out the hall ignoring everyone who was staring at the bizarre sight of Ron with an unknown girl. Ron imagines most of them are likely wondering how he had the hot new girls attention already. He didn’t care though because your hand was so small and soft and it sent flutters spiralling in his abdomen making him flush a little.

“I-I’m sorry for being so inarticulate. You shocked me a little, when I think Malfoy I think Draco and Lucias. Plus, your absolutely far too attractive to be out in public.” He joked, clearly trying to attempt an air of confidence.

“Hmm, no, I hate both of them. Their evil bloody arseholes. So, what do you suggest then Mr Weasley? Would you lock me away and keep me all to yourself?” You giggled making him flush once again.

“Sounds like the best course of action.” He replied with a cheeky grin on his face.

“How forward. Maybe take a girl to dinner first, Mr Weasley.” You joked back making his cheeks flush again.

********

“I think I’m in love, mate.” Ron sighed with a dazed look on his face as he watched you stir the potions carefully as Hermione added another ingredient to the cauldron. 

“She’s not even been here a week, Ronald, you’re such a sap.” Harry snorted making Ron pout as he leaned on his hand still staring at you dreamily.

“She’s gorgeous. If I don’t make my move now, she’ll be snatched up before her first weeks over.” Ron argued with a dopey grin on his face.

“Well how did it go the other day?” Harry asked absently as he read through the recipe.

After Ron had explained everything that had happened Harry stared at him with wide eyes before they flickered over to the girl they were discussing, who funnily enough was looking at Ron with her own loved up look.

“It’s sounds to me like the feelings mutual, mate.” Harry laughs as he flicks his head in your direction causing Ron to look over at you again. 

He instantly caught you staring at him which caused your cheeks to flush, which Ron could see even across the room. He shot you a panty melting grin before turning to Harry with a smug smirk on his face.

“Go over there and ask to borrow fairy wings. We need another one anyway since you disintegrated ours while at staring at Y/N.” Harry huffed with an amused smirk on his face.

Ron nodded in response before wandering over towards you and Hermione. You looked up at Ron with a soft smile as Hermione ignored him, concentrating on her potion. You, however, gave Ron your full attention.

“Do you have spare fairy wings, love?” He asked sweetly his husky voice making you flush again as you fluttered your lashes at him.

“Hmm that depends what do I get in return?” You flirted shamelessly as you stepped a little closer to the tall boy.

“Name your price, poppet.” He teased with grin on his face as he dipped down so he was at your eye level.

You glanced over to the front of the class to see Professor Slughorn busy helping another student so you quickly turn back to the red head and planted a soft kiss on his cheeks lingering there for a second before pulling away to see his brightly flushed face. 

“Here you go, darling.” You giggled as you passed him the jar with the leftover fairy wings in.

“Th-Thanks.” He stuttered before running back towards Harry.

You looked back at Hermione who was staring at you with a raised brow and her arms crossed. You gave her a sheepish grin before you went back to stirring the cauldron silently. Though she clearly wasn’t going to just let it go. 

“I can’t tell if you’ve got nerves of steel to go after someone you fancy so easily or you just enjoy teasing him.” She chuckled making you grin brightly.

“Can’t it be both? He’s cute when he gets all flustered. And he’s handsome all the time.” You replied easily making Hermione roll her eyes.

“Just don’t break his heart. Or I’ll hex you.” Hermione states rather seriously making you nod in understanding. 

The rest of potions classes went off without a hitch, occasionally you and Ron would meet eyes and send each other smiles but apart from that nothing else occurred. However, as you made your way out the class your dreadful cousin stopped you in your tracks his smug little face making you wish you could have any other last name. 

“I saw you cosying up to Weasel-bee in class. I thought even you’d have better taste as a Malfoy, Y/N.” Draco scoffed with his usual sneer on his face, making you narrow your eyes. 

“I'd much rather be a Weasley than a Malfoy.” You spat just as Hermione, Harry and Ron came up behind you. 

“You are a disgrace to the family name!” Draco snarled as he stepped closer toward you in a rather threatening manner. 

“So is your receding hair line, Draco, but let's not be rude hmm?” You hissed, a grin making it way to your face when you heard the friend group behind you laugh. 

“At least I’m not throwing myself on the first bloke to show you an ounce of attention. Sla-”

“Don’t finish that sentence, Malfoy!” Ron snapped as he stepped in front of you and pushed Draco away. 

“Oh no, let him finish Ron honestly, I dare him to call me a slag! Go on Draco.” You challenged as you moved around Ron clenching your fists.

“Slag.” Draco whispered with a smirk on his face. 

You immediately slapped him round the face with as much force as you could muster making your cousins head flick to the side at the impact. His eyes widened a little before they narrowed into a glare and he tried to return he sentiment. Ron saw it coming and grabbed Draco by the collar hoisting him off the ground and slamming him against the brick wall. 

A few students had begun to gather around making you roll your eyes. Vultures the lot of them, always looking for a fight to watch and cheer on. You grabbed Rons bicep and tried to pry him away but he was having none of it. 

“Stay away from her. You hear me, Malfoy?” Ron snarled as you stood on your tip toes to whisper into his ear. 

“It's okay, love. Let's go before you get in trouble. Please?” You whispered soothingly in his ear his attention instantly back on you as he released Malfoy letting him fall to the floor. 

You urged him to run as you saw Professor McGonagall looking over at the crowd with a suspicious gaze. He let you lead him all the way to the Gryffindor common room, Harry and Hermione following closely behind. Hermione muttered something about meeting Neville for herbology homework and Harry said he had a date with Ginny so both of them disappeared pretty quickly after that, leaving you and Ron alone in the common room. 

“I have something for you.” You state as you take out the iPod you’d been carrying all day.

You passed him the contraption taking in his confused face with a soft grin on your own. You showed him the earbuds placing one of them on his ear and the other in yours as he stared in amazement as music started playing into his ear. Atlas by Shannon Saunders began playing into both yours and Ron’s ear. He listened intently clearly trying to take in the lyrics as you tried to fight the urge to dance. You loved dancing it felt like you could easily lose yourself in music ignoring everything in a room. 

“Why are you giving me this?” He asked with a soft grin on his face. 

“Muggle music is one of my favourite things, their lyrics are quite relatable sometimes. I thought you might like to try it I have another iPod back home.” You chuckled as you swayed a little in your seat. 

“And is this song relatable for you?” He asked with a raised brow making you flush a little. 

“Hmm it may or may not remind me of someone I recently met.” You mumbled shyly making him grin down at you. 

“There's one difference though.” He stated seriously as he stared into your eyes intently. 

“What's that?” You asked curiously with furrowed brows. 

“I do see you.” He whispered as his eyes flickered to your lips. 

Suddenly Ron’s lips were pressed to yours in the softest yet most passionate kiss you’d ever experienced. His hands came up to cup your jaw as he tilted his head to the side to deepen the kiss, is tongue brushing against your bottom lip. You whimpered against his mouth as you happily opened your mouth to allow his tongue to intertwine with yours. You barely even registered the song change as Ron's hand slid under the edge of your cropped school shirt, brushing against your bare rib cage.  

You moved to straddle Ron’s lap, his lips never left yours as you situated yourself on his upper thighs, ripping out the earbuds from both your ears and throwing them somewhere on the couch. Your hand thread into his gorgeous shaggy red hair gripping it softly as you continued to kiss him with all the pent-up tension that had been building for the last few days. When he let out a husky moan the sound made you grind down on Ron’s member causing his hands to fly straight to your ass gripping it over your pleated skirt.

Then there was a cough behind the couch making you both freeze as you slowly pulled away from each others lips. You looked over Ron’s shoulder to see the twins stood there with matching smirks on their faces. Ron didn’t know who it was yet as his head was now buried in your neck, the tips of his ears peaking from under his hair were bright red. You giggled a little making Ron look up at you, his bright red face making you clench your thighs around his hips. 

“Having fun little brother?” George snickered making Ron groan now realising who it was.

“Bloody hell.” Ron mumbled as he proceeded to lift you off his lap like you weighed nothing before turn to his brother and throwing a pillow from the couch at them. 

“This is the common room, Ronald, hardly the place to be shagging your girlfriend.” Fred smirked making me roll my eyes. 

“Last I checked you two didn’t even go to school here anymore.” You sassed as you grabbed Ron’s hand and began pulling him behind you towards the boy’s  dormitory. 

“Feisty.” George chuckled as you ignored them in favour of smiling at Ron who seemed to forget his brother's presence as he stared into your eyes with a dopey grin. 

“Use protection!” Fred screamed making Ron snap out of his dazed expression once again. 

You ignored the boys and dragged him upstairs the second you closed the door to Ron’s, Harry’s, Neville’s, Seamus and Deans room you grabbed his tie pulling him with you as you backed up to your bed. He shocked you however by leaning down and grabbing the back of your thighs hoisting you up so your legs could wrap against his waist. 

You let out a girlish squeal as he threw you on the bed, quickly following after you whilst his hand slid up your bare thigh, placing a kiss just above your over the knee sock. You gasped at the feeling as you looked down at him with half lid eyes. 

“You’re so beautiful, love.” He mumbled against the inside of your thigh making you whine in need. 

“Ron.” You moaned as he nipped at the skin there.

“Sound so pretty when you say my name.” He groaned as his hand hovered over the side zip on your skirt.

“You sure? I don’t want you to feel like we have to. I’d be happy to wait, princess, maybe take you on a date or two first.” He whispered softly as he came up to look you in the eyes. The new nickname made your heart flutter in your chest as you pulled him in for another kiss. 

You moved your hands to his tie, quickly loosening it and dropping it at the side of your bed before you began working on his buttons. You took off your own tie as well throwing both his shirt and your tie off the bed where you had thrown his tie. This boy was the sweetest and that’s exactly the reason you had no problem giving him this part of yourself. Yes, you wanted to give your virginity to someone you loved deeply however you would rather it be with someone you trust to take care of you. Just because you weren’t in love with Ron didn’t mean you wouldn’t be one day. Right now, you knew you needed him and you’d never wanted to do this with anyone else. 

“I want to do this with you. I trust you.” You whispered against his lips before pulling away to see his reaction. 

“G’na take care of you, love.” Ron promised as his lips met yours once again in a heated kiss, his tongue caressing yours as he began unzipping your skirt. He pulled away from your lips to rid your body of the material before looking up at you as he began unbuttoning your shirt. His eyes looked in your as if searching for any regrets as you were finally left exposed. 

You had a dark red lace lingerie set on that you were internally grateful that you wore today. He glanced at the frilly lace with hooded eyes before meeting your eyes again. You bit down on your lower lip as he traced his index finger down the centre of your abdomen before gripping the waist line of your panties. He slowly pulled them down giving you yet another chance to back out but you just flushed shyly as he finally rid you of the red frills covering your wet heat. When he glanced down to see just how wet you were he let out a groan his fingers immediately dipping down to tease your clit. 

“R-Ron, please.” You begged as he teased near your soaking entrance with his finger.

“Okay, love.” He whispered soothingly as he finally gave you what you want. 

The second his finger pushes inside of you, you let out a quiet gasp pushing against him desperate for more friction. He quickly added a second finger and began thrust them inside of you at an agonisingly slow pace. You grabbed Ron’s other hand and brought it up to your mouth before speaking. 

“Don’t have to be so gentle, Ron.” You moaned as you took two fingers into your mouth and began licking and sucking on them causing his eyes to darken. 

“I don’t wanna hurt you, princess.” Ron growled as if he was trying to hold himself back. 

“I can fit 3 of mine in.” You giggled which quickly turned into a moan when he curled his fingers upwards making you see stars. 

“For the love of Merlin, Y/N, can’t tell me you touch yourself while I’m trying to take this slow.” Ron moaned with a flushed face as he buried his head in your lace covered breasts. 

“I did it this morning while thinking of you.” You whispered into his ear seductively. 

“Fuckin’ hell.” He moaned against your breasts as he began scissoring his finger to stretch you out a little more. 

Your moans filled the room as you felt yourself getting closer which seemed to spur Ron on, his other hand came down to massage your clit as he began fucking you roughly with his fingers. His lips leaving kisses and bites wherever he could. You whined and moaned his name over and over again as you finally tumbled over the edge. 

“M’Cummin’.” You moaned loudly as you clenched around his fingers. 

He watched your face in amazement as your whole body shook from pleasure. When your body twitched from slight sensitivity he finally pulled away and palmed himself through his boxers. You stared up at him slightly dazed as you pulled him down for dirty kiss. You reached down to move his hand and pull his hardened member out his boxers.

“Need you inside me.” You pleaded as you began pumping his cock up and down in your hand. Ron leaned over to his bedside draw and pulled out protection opening the packet and slid it on his member. 

You guided him between your legs and lined him up with your entrance as he looked into your eyes as if asking one last time if you were sure. Instead on a verbal response you grabbed his hips and pulled him forward causing his tip to push inside. He instantly groaned at the tightness of your heat, gripping your hips as he slowly pushed his length inside. 

When he reached your barrier, he cupped your face with one hand, his other supporting himself, and stared into your eyes making you feel like you were the most precious girl in the world. He finally pushed through the barrier causing you to gasp at the pain. 

“Shhh it’s okay, I got you, princess.” He whispered against your cheek as he placed kisses along your jawline and the corner of your lips. He happily waited whispering sweet words against your skin until you finally felt the pain fade enough for him to move. 

You experimentally bucked your hips up causing him to brush against your g-spot making you moan loudly. He let go of your cheek, his hand flying down to your hip as he began slowly thrusting in and out of your heat. You felt so full of him that you weren’t making coherent sentences, so instead you ran your hands down his bare back, your nails digging into the flesh softly which seemed to turn Ron on more than you’d of thought it would because he began fucking into you slightly faster and deeper. 

“F-Fuck. You feel so good, love.” He moaned brokenly as he brought you in for another heated kiss. 

“Harder, baby.” You whined against his lips before your tongue tangled with his. 

The new nickname made his cock pulse inside you and you knew to file that away for another day as he answered your request happily. He began pounding into you as his free hand leaving your hip so he could reach between you two, rubbing circles on your clit. You didn’t think you’d get to cum twice on your first time, but Ron didn’t seem to be letting up as he kept thrusting inside of you. 

He moved a little repositioning as he ramped straight into your g-spot repeatedly making your eyes roll back as you dug your nails into his back again, rather harshly this time. You couldn’t bring yourself to care as you felt another orgasm making its way to the surface. Fuck, he knew exactly what to do he stayed in that position as he circled your clit faster making you clench your thighs around his waist.  

“R-Ron.” You screamed as you finally felt yourself unravel once again. 

“That’s it princess, cum on my cock.” Ron groaned his uncharacteristic words made your orgasm more intense as your heat quivered around his cock. He immediately followed you growling your name before he sunk his teeth into the skin on your shoulder, his thrusts slowed down until they finally stopped. 

 You both lay there holding one another, panting heavily until Ron finally pulled back enough to look at you. His eyes were still half lidded but more because he was drained, you caressed his face gently as you placed a chaste kiss on his lips. You nudged your nose against his sweetly as he finally pulled out of you. He quickly tied the condom and threw it away before pulling up his boxers and passing you your panties. 

You picked up his shirt and threw it on over your lingerie as he laid down next to you pulling you into his arms, your head resting on his bare chest. His hands absently played with your hair as he stared at the ceiling quietly. 

“W-Was that okay?” He stuttered the confidence from before gone as the shy Ron you liked so much was back. 

“It was perfect, Ron. Not many girls get to cum their first time, let alone twice.” You giggled as you propped yourself up to look down at him. 

“Really?” He asked with a frown.

“Really. I’m guessing that wasn’t your first time.” You chuckled softly making his eyes widen. 

“I-It was.” Ron muttered with a red face. Your eyes widened as you tried to compose yourself letting out an awkward cough.  

“H-How?” You stuttered out as your jaw dropped. 

“I-I just paid attention to your reactions, I guess. Surprising cos Hermione thinks I’m the most clueless bastard there ever was.” He mumbled shyly with a small laugh making you chuckle a little. 

“You are one of a kind, Ronald Weasley. I’d be really happy if you’d be mine?” You asked nervously as you avoided his eyes, fearful he’d reject you even after you’d had sex. 

He cupped your cheek and made you look him in the eye his face serious suddenly, as his eyes flickered all over your face as if searching for something. After a few seconds he seemed to of found whatever he was looking for as his eyes widened in amazement. 

“Did you think I’d say no?” Ron asked softly as he placed a kiss on your forehead. 

“You’re bloody beautiful, smart, kind, confident and for some reason you seem to find ME fit and worth ya’ time. Of course, I wanna be your boyfriend, love.” He added sweetly making me flush a little. 

“You are fit. You've got these broad shoulders that make my knees weak, I could stare into your eyes forever they’re so gorgeous. Your hair is beyond sexy and I could run my hands through it all day, even when your angry you’re hot as hell. Then sometimes there these moments where you gain this confidence you rarely have and it's such a turn on.” You rambled his eyes widening to a comical size.

“Grab another condom.” Ron instructed shyly as he glanced down at his member which was once again hard. 

“You’re insatiable, Mr Weasley.” You giggled as you reached into his bedside draw to out another condom. 

********

 You could here some commotion downstairs that had your eyes fluttering open in an attempt to figure out what all the fuss was about. You finally fully opened them and glanced around the room realising you’d fell asleep in Ron’s bed. 

“You know where she is don’t you?” Hermione voice screamed from the boys staircase making you frown a little.

“She’s fine.” Harry stated but you could hear Hermione shuffling around until Harry yelped in pain.

Suddenly the boy was pulled into his bedroom by Hermione who was happily dragging him by his ear. You glanced down at Ron who was still sleeping as you stood up out of the bed his shirt falling to past your ass.

She glanced at you with a raised brow as someone else came running up the stairs. You gave Hermione a smirk as Ginny came into view, that said you were happy with your current whereabouts.

“Oh my merlin! Ew!” Ginny screamed as she seemed to register you’d had sex with her brother.

“It was definitely not ew.” You smirked making Ginny gag as she left the room dragging Harry with her mumbling something about taking the memory out her head.

“Just get up! It’s almost breakfast and next time leave a note or something.” Hermione scolded making you nod in agreement before she left the room.

You crawled onto the bed with a mischievous grin as you began placing kisses on his chest. Ron immediately opened his eyes his face slightly red which let you know he’d been awake a while likely too shy to face all his friends. 

“Come on before Hermione comes back up to drag me out here in my undies.” You giggled softly as he nuzzled into your neck dragging you into his lap.

“Not bloody likely. No other boy’s are seeing you like this.” He grumbled with an angry pout on his face.

“Hate to break it to you but Harry just did.” You snorted as you climbed off his lap and began dressing in your uniform from yesterday.

“I’m wiping his memory.” Ron deadpanned making you laugh as you leant over the bed now full dressed and pulled him in for a quick kiss.

“Meet me downstairs.” You called as you ran downstairs.

You hurried to your room to dress in your weekend clothing which consisted of a plain white tank top, a pair of leggings and a pair of plain white nikes. You ran downstairs to see Ron already stood there in a maroon knitted jumper with an ‘R’ on the front and a pair of black jeans. He saw you and instantly frowned before taking off his jumper, leaving him in a long sleeved plain grey top, passing the jumper to you silently. You raised an eyebrow but took the offered clothing item looking at it in confusion. 

“It’s cold out there.” He muttered with slightly flushed cheeks. 

“What about you?” You pouted making him smile softly. 

“I’ll be fine my tops at least long sleeved.” He stated softly as you finally pulled the top over your head. It was massive on you, easily reaching your mid thighs, the arms falling past your fingertips as you looked at Ron, he looked rather please at you wearing his clothes.

“You look cute.” He chuckled as he slung his arm over your shoulder pulling you closer so he could press a kiss on your head. 

You both walked down to the great hall in silence just happy to be with one another. As you entered the giant room a few people looked at you and Ron, causing him to drop his arm which made you frown up at him with a sad gaze, making him instantly regret pulling away. He quickly pulled you back placing another kiss on your head as you both walked over to your friends.  However, before you got there you heard Draco and his friend snicker making you stop in your tracks. 

“Just leave it love, he’s not worth it.” Ron muttered softly as he pulled you away but as Ron turned away he must’ve heard Draco mutter something under his breath because he released you and dragged your cousin straight out his seat throwing him on the floor.

“What did you just say?” Ron screamed as he pointed down at Draco. 

“I said your girlfriend is a no good whor-”

Ron didn’t even let him finish his sentence as his fist came straight down across Draco’s face. Your eyes widened in shock as Harry ran over to try dragging Ron off the other boy, he wasn’t budging thought as he landed hit after hit on him, Draco not even having chance to fight back. You squat down next to Ron and grabbed his arm before speaking. 

“He’s had enough, baby.” You muttered softly making him look up at you as he finally dropped Draco. 

“Ronald Weasley, explain yourself this instant!” You heard Snape shout as he came striding into the great hall with an angry face. 

“It was my fault.” You stated instantly making Ron frown. 

“No, it wasn’t, it was his. He called Y/N a no-good whore, he deserved every bloody punch.” Ron huffed angrily as he took your hand in his, stroking the back of it with his thumb.

“Detention for a week. You too Mr Malfoy. You’re lucky you’re not getting expelled, Weasley.” Snape stated as he turned to you. 

“Thank you, Severus.” You chuckle making him look around awkwardly before exiting the hall. 

“He knows my mum. Mum claims he always had a soft spot for her in school.” You whispered to Ron making his eyes widen. 

“I didn’t even know Snape had friends. Let alone feelings.” He laughed as you both made you way to sit down. 

Well this first week had been eventful, you slapped your cousin, lost your virginity, got a boyfriend and then he beat up your cousin in your honour. I wonder what the rest of the year will hold. 

[the-girl-who-walks-with-mutants]

Uncanny Icon Chapter 3: Second Genesis

Kurt Wagner x Original Female Character (Adrian Grey)

Rating: M

Chapter Summary:

The Professor has collected the team and now, it's time to meet everyone!

This is our first proper Giant Size X-Men 1 chapter, part two will be out next week! Not much else to say this week, so dive right in and enjoy Adrian finally meeting all her new teammates, including a very adorable, fuzzy blue elf.

[this is chapter is extra special thanks to MORE fantastic art by @lazywrites of our Indelible Icon!]

Adrian stares at herself in the mirror, rubbing her temples to try and tune out the growing hustle and bustle of the mansion below. When she was little, she picked out one of the two attic rooms for a reason, to give herself enough distance from the main areas of the house and let herself rest without constant emotional outpour entering her mind from her fellow students. But so many new sounds and minds, so much excitement, nerve, and anticipation… it was impossible to block out.

The new team has been arriving the past few hours, greeted one-by-one by the Professor, shown to temporary rooms and given their uniforms. Unstable molecule suits, that’s what the Professor called them. Apparently, they were a gift from Reed Richards, the same material used in the Fantastic Four suits. They were certainly an upgrade from the little uniforms that Adrian grew up in. Those still hang in her closet, unused. The black and yellow training uniform was a classic, a bit of nostalgia to look at and remember how small she used to be, how young. The other is a thing of nightmares. When each of the X-Men had to pick their own designs, Adrian was the last to get a colour scheme. As a result, she was stuck in an ugly yellow and pink number, perhaps to show everyone that she was still a girl despite the pants and the short hair she wore, compared to her sister’s green mini-dress. No matter what, Adrian despises it, happy to let it rot in the dark corners of her closet.

Looking back at the mirror, the sounds of her teammates’ emotions slowly beginning to dull as they were called one-by-one to the living room for the mission debrief, Adrian knows that she’s going to choose a costume that is simply and unequivocally her. Adrian Grey, the Icon.

She thinks of what she wants, watching the molecules begin to react to her desires, shaping themselves to her specifications. A sleeveless bodysuit, starting with yellow to match her powers. A bit boring, she thinks, and a red section is added to the chest, from the neckline and descending down into a point by her navel. Turning, she adds the same shape to end at the small of her back. Then red, thigh-high boots, the tops ending in a point as well. Looking down at the shoes, she keeps the heel low and comfortable, but adds a little curve to the tip of the toes.

Almost there…

Two red belts across her hips, angled to form an X, red fingerless gloves attached to gold bangles around her wrists. Finally, she adjusts the knot of a long red scarf around her neck, letting it hang behind her down her back. Doing a little spin, she shakes out her hair. It was far too long for her tastes, now reaching past her collarbones, but that isn’t something that can be adjusted by unstable molecules. Maybe after all this, she’ll cut it again. Maybe to her chin, maybe ear, maybe shorter.

‘Icon, to the living room please,’ the Professor’s telepathic voice calls to her mind. She gives an affirmative thought back. Despite years of not enjoying leadership, avoiding the boring, administrative parts of heroism, all of it is now thrown in her lap. Icon, co-leader of the X-Men.

With that, she walks out of the room.

XXX

‘You will tell us why you have dragged us here, Professor!’ a voice snaps from the living room as Adrian approaches. ‘I, for one, am swiftly losing my patience!’

Stepping just beyond the doorway, she can hear the Professor answer calmly, never one to raise his voice in the face of conflict, ‘Sunfire, I assure you, it is not my intention to waste your time. I merely wanted to wait until all our members were present before beginning.’

Adrian feels the push in her mind, giving her the cue to enter the room as the Professor continues, ‘My friends, allow me to introduce Adrian Grey, the psychic Icon. She will be co-commander on this mission.’

Before she can answer, wanting to give some sort of quip to show herself as both experienced but still humble or something of that nature, there’s a sudden BAMF! sound, the smell of smoke and brimstone filling the room. In a blink, she feels her hand grabbed and a soft kiss placed on the back of it. Her eyes snap down to see the blue, demon-looking mutant – Kurt Wagner, a.k.a. Nightcrawler. From the photo in his file, she recognises the black curls, golden eyes, the hand which has only three digits instead of five.

He's giving her a little bow, saying in a soft, lilted tone, perhaps a bit lower in pitch than she expected, ‘It is a pleasure to have such a beautiful Fräulein as a commander, Meine Dame.’

Adrian is flustered, a small blush forming on her cheeks. She clears her throat, trying to look away from those eyes, ‘Oh, well, aren’t you the sweetest little thing...’

‘Hey, furball, leave the lady alone,’ a gruff voice barks out from further in the room. Wolverine. It makes Adrian suddenly all too aware that there are seven pairs of eyes watching this scene. Nightcrawler smiles at her once more with his elongated canines, pressing a second kiss to her hand before teleporting away back to his original spot across the room. Adrian clears her throat once more, saying with a much more serious tone, ‘I’m only second-in-command on this mission, I’m not the one who will be giving orders, that would be –’

‘That would be me.’

Heads turn to see Scott enter, his ruby quartz glasses traded for a visor made of the same material which gives him total control over his powers.  The Professor gestures to Scott, saying ‘And may I present Scott Summers, known as Cyclops. Now that we are all here, he will fill you in on the details of your mission.’

This is the point where Adrian stops listening. She knows the score, she knows the plan. Before the arrival of the new team, Scott asked Adrian to watch the mutants during his speech, to give him feedback on any members that may be cause for concern or any particularly suited for heroism. She leans back against the wall next to him, her eyes scanning over the seven faces, a unique cast of characters to be sure. All so different and yet all so open. The original team began to learn how to close off their minds, to leave some of their deeper emotions hidden from Adrian’s subconscious readings. But these minds and hearts were open to her.

Her eyes are first drawn back to Nightcrawler, crouched up on the coffee table, tail swaying gently. She can feel his dedication, and a genuine kindness in him, though there is a fading sadness, something that happened before he arrived, something terrible…

But then her mind is drawn sharply away, overpowered by an extreme passion from the big Russian, Colossus. Despite how intimidating his physical form is, his face is sweet, his heart good, and his motives pure.

The rest are a bit more difficult to get a particular read on. While she can hear everything, empathic telepathy is not quite as straightforward as its thought-based cousin. Humans are complicated creatures, mutants more so. And that’s maybe why Adrian prefers to be around mutants, as that complexity makes it easier to tune out the emotions as white noise. Her powers aren’t based on precision. She can’t hear exact words or ideas, but the themes, the pressures, the heat and chill and neutrality that is unique to each emotional trigger and output.

Of the others, they each have a trend to them that she can key in on relatively easily. Storm presents herself as a mightier-than-thou being, truly believing herself the goddess she is known as. Banshee is tired, blasé about the idea of heroism but having enough loyalty to the Professor to come back for one last ride. Both Sunfire and Thunderbird seem displeased, but for very different reasons. Sunfire is angry at the idea of being forced to help those he doesn’t know and thinks a mission like this is the commodification of his abilities.

The anger that bristles around Thunderbird catches her attention for a moment and she initially thinks that maybe he is like Sunfire. And yet… she can feel pain. Its hidden, buried deep in him, beneath the anger, beneath the displeasure, beneath everything. She would be tempted to think that he didn’t even know that it was there if not for the steady beat of it like a drum, timed to his own heart, panging with each move, each breath. Adrian knows what trauma feels like, she knows the knots that are formed trying to piece yourself back together, the ties that continue to unwind each time you think you’re fixing things, letting more and more slip through the cracks. She has to look away as the pain begins to gnaw at her too, joining the two together for a moment so brief that he doesn’t even notice… but Adrian, now more than ever, regrets her initial dissatisfaction at his inclusion.

And Wolverine?

Adrian has never encountered a mind like his before. It feels… hollow, in some way, like a book bored through with holes by bookworms. The pieces are all there but the words, the meanings, the plot… were missing. Even with focus, digging deeper, she can’t fit the pieces together, can’t fill the gaps. She has no idea how intensely she’s been staring, the worry marked by a wrinkle between her brows, until her gaze is confronted by a pair of eyes hidden behind a spiked mask. The emotion was clear. Get the fuck out of my head, Red.

He then turns to Scott, who has finished up his story of the missing X-Men. ‘Buncha kids missing, now what?’

‘Simple,’ Cyclops answers, ‘we go back to Krakoa to find the original X-Men and the mutant that defeated us in the first place.’

Adrian feels the fire of anger even before Sunfire pipes up, surging into her mind like throwing gasoline on a blaze. ‘You may return to Krakoa as you wish, Cyclops, but not I. I will take no part in this fool’s errand.’

That makes her engage in the conversation, resting her forearm on Scott’s shoulder to lean forward, her eyes narrowing. ‘That sounds like you’ve come thousands of miles for jack-shit then, Shiro Yoshida. Not interested in an opportunity to finally help your fellow mutants?’

Sunfire’s starfish-like red mask glowers down at her, the heat continuing to rise as he crosses his arms across his chest. ‘I have no allegiance to my fellow mutants, little Icon. And I will not risk my life to help them merely because you, Cyclops, or the Professor ask me to.’ With that, he storms off, though there is no particular destination in his mind.

She turns back to the new team, shifting her weight onto one leg, her hip jutting out. ‘Anyone else wanna leave? No?’ Her eyes scan each mutant, daring them to move. When none do, she smiles broadly, dimples on her cheeks. ‘Well, then on that note, we’ve got a job to do. Welcome to the X-Men, you lot. I hope you survive the experience.’

XXX

The Blackbird is a model of modern technology, a marvel that most governments could not yet dream of… it’s just a shame that Adrian could not give a damn about planes. She sits in the co-pilot’s seat, her feet up on the dash, glancing over at Scott once in a while to see if he needs help with take-off. Of course he doesn’t. He’s done this a thousand times before. His nerves are placed on the mission ahead, not the act of piloting a plane. Adrian doesn’t have that same level of emotional foresight.

‘If Sunfire’s outburst is anything to go on, I do not believe I like what one would call mutant camaraderie.’ The voice is deep and rich, ageless and warm, like honey to soothe the throat. Adrian turns her head, realizing that it is Ororo Monroe. Of course her voice is just as powerful as her mutation.

‘I promise,’ Adrian responds, trying to quell the internal murmurings of disquiet, ‘it’s not always like this.’

But even she isn’t convinced by her statement.

John Proudstar leans forward, his arm on the headrest of Adrian’s seat, ‘Well, it ain’t like we’re here to be a mutant appreciation society. We’ve all got our stupid reasons for being involved in this fiasco… an’ patting each other on the back ain’t gonna be one of them, Ginge.’

Adrian frowns until John moves once more, pointing out the window for Scott. ‘Hey, One-Eye, we got somethin’ followin’ us!’

‘Icon, open the hatch!’ Scott orders and Adrian leaps into action, dropping the hatch with a push of a button, getting out of her seat to greet… Sunfire!

‘Well, I’ll be damned, look who decided to join us!’ She says with a clap of her hands as Shiro lands in the plane, the hatch closing once more. ‘You decided you want to help your kind after all?’

He looks unimpressed, answering only ‘My reasons shall remain my business and mine alone, little Icon. Best to remember that.’

But they both know better.

No matter what Shiro says, he has a deep sense of duty. He’d never have actually let them go off without him, but perhaps his own ego needed to make a show of it. Either way, she lets him sit and returns to her own place at the front of the plane.

‘We have two hours ‘til arrival,’ Scott tells the team.

‘That’s team leader speak for talk amongst yourselves,’ Adrian adds with a smile, ‘Mingle and make friends.’

‘Icon, don’t disrespect my leadership.’

She glances at Scott, hearing his thoughts. The ability to psychically communicate isn’t something Adrian is naturally good at, but comes with a certain level of familiarity with the mind. She huffs. ‘What part about that was disrespectful, exactly?’

‘You’re making jokes. Now isn’t the time.’

‘I’m trying to make sure people don’t turn into dour little pessimists. You want them to work together, they actually have to like each other at least a little bit.’

She sees his shoulders tense out of the corner of her eye.

‘Any intel from the meeting?’

Adrian is almost tempted to share her insights about Wolverine or John, but it feels too personal to tell Scott. So she shrugs. ‘Everyone checks out. Good little boys and girls ready to be thrown into war, just like Xavier expected.’

‘Good.’

The two look at each other for a moment, almost daring one another to say something else. But they are quickly interrupted by the sounds of the team beginning to mingle. Adrian grins, knowing she won the unspoken argument.

‘Icon, I would like to speak to you.’

Adrian turns to see Ororo standing over her. She gives a smile. ‘Of course, what’d you need?’

The taller woman sits in one of the closer seats as Adrian spins hers around. She holds herself with such a grace, a precision, it makes Adrian feel like a tomboy rolling in mud by comparison. But Ororo doesn’t look down on her, at least not any more than she does the others. ‘You said that it is not always like this, I would like you to elaborate for me.’

Adrian blinks, thrown off-guard a bit by the directness, but appreciating it at the same time. ‘Oh, well, I’ve been doing this sort of thing since I was thirteen with the other team, so its… different.’ She realizes that she’s probably sounding like an idiot, so decides to approach the question the way she knows best, with emotion. She leans forward in her seat towards the other woman. ‘Finding out you’re a mutant is one thing, but finding out how many of us there are is another. The X-Men seem disjointed right now, but we’re a family. That’s the beauty of this whole thing, we’re not just here to fight and work together, its… its special.’

‘What a load of bull.’

Adrian’s head whips around towards Wolverine. ‘I wasn’t aware you were listening.’

‘Yeah, seems to be a lot of people listening when they shouldn’t.’ He counters, clearly knowing that she had been in his head earlier.

Adrian goes to respond, but Ororo puts a hand on her own, drawing her attention back. ‘I appreciate your honestly, Icon, and I hope that you are right. It is a dream I would enjoy seeing to fruition.’

[see the rest and to stay on top of new updates, as well as fun facts about references and comic book lore here at my AO3! AO3 gets early access, so make sure to follow the story there as well!]

[hello-nichya-here]

Zucest and concubines II

I might have to post this in its entirety on AO3. Enjoy!

“RRRGGH!”

“Come on Azula, one more push!”

Katara’s words set Zuko’s heart racing. Soon, he and Azula would be holding their second child in their arms. Even better, it meant soon Azula would let go of his hand, preferrably before breaking the remaining bones in it.

With a final scream, the room was filled with the sounds of a crying babe.

“It’s a boy!” Katara called out.

“A boy… we have a son Zula.”

“A son… our son.” Azula briefly squeezed her brother’s shattered hand, before reaching out with both of her own. Her hands began grabbing fruitlessly at the air, letting everyone in the room, Katara included, that she wanted her baby.

Katara happily obliged after cleaning the boy off, his cries filling the room as he struggled in the hands of another. His cries faded as Azula pulled him against her, resting his head over her heart, letting their newborn fall asleep to the sound of his mother’s heartbeat.

“He’s beautiful… isn’t he Zuko?”

“Even better, he’s perfect. Because he’s ours.”

Katara smiled at the scene in front of her. Even today, it was hard to believe that the woman she had just helped through her second pregnancy was the same princess who chased her and her friends across the Earth Kingdom.

The same princess who’s mind was all but shattered after losing the Agni Kai. But with time, and effort, and a mountain of patience, Zuko had helped bring her mind back from the brink. It hadn’t been long after when the siblings began seeing each other in a romantic light.

That, likewise, had taken a great deal of patience for people to come around. But they had persevered, and the results spoke for themselves. The other nations were no longer fearful of what Zuko might do under her influence, and the people adored their new Queen.

This wasn’t the Azula who took Ba Sing Se. She wasn’t Ozai’s weapon anymore. She was Zuko’s wife, the much loved Fire Lady, a mother to the royal family and the Fire Nation.

Katara’s reminiscing was cut short when the doors opened, and in rushed the friends and family, Ty Lee first among them. Rushing to Azula’s side, she began bouncing in place, squealing at a volume only dog’s should be able to hear. Said squealing was followed by a barrage of ‘he’s so cute’ and begging Azula to reveal the baby’s name.

Before she could, Iroh stepped forward. In his arms, he held the ever curious Izumi, looking at the event unfolding with rapt attention.

“Before you reveal the name, I think someone else should be with you.”

Smiling, Zuko took Izumi in his arms, her face lighting up with a broad smile as she said “Dada.” Sitting next to Azula, he turned her towards her mother, and the bundle of joy in her arms.

“Izumi, this your brother, Heisei.”

Izumi looked, first at her brother, then at her father, and finally her brother again. As she did this, Heisei opened his eyes, the golden colour he inherited shining brightly. The pair briefly locked eyes, before Izumi began struggling to get closer, while her brother simply turned his head, nuzzling into his mother’s bosom as he tried to sleep.

The adorable scene continued, while Katara made mental notes of who was missing. Only Mai and Toph hadn’t shown up. Mai was to be expected, as she had barely been seen since the royal wedding, where some claim she had exchanged quiet words with Azula, before departing.

Toph on the other hand was an unexpected absence. The metalbending academy she had started was eating up much of her time, but given her newfound friendship with 'Lady Thunderbutt’ it was odd she wasn’t here.

Hours later, and Zuko was back in his office, reviewing paperwork that he had set aside until now. The task of ruling a nation was never truly done, and now he was finalizing the reformation of the Fire Nation’s finances, after Ozai’s policy of looting the Earth Kingdom and bribing pirates was ended.

His attention was turned from the scrolls in front of him to the door, as in walked none other than Toph Beifong.

“We missed you earlier today.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. Had a situation back in Yu Dao, but it’s been settled.”

“One of the colonies? Anything I should know?”

“Nah, it’s fine. I visited Azula just now. Heisei’s adorable. Squishy, but adorable. Can’t wait to hear how the servants talk about Azula now.”

“The servants talk about Azula?”

“Nothing to worry about. They just joke about how Azula was when Izumi was a newborn. Some of them still swear Azula growl’s at them whenever they take Izumi to give her a bath.”

Zuko laughed at the image. “I remember that day. She turns the most adorable shades of red whenever it’s mentioned. It’s fun to tease her with it.”

“Speaking of teasing,” Toph’s voice had taken on a seductive tone, “she mentioned something about you needing some attention of your own.”

Zuko blinked in surprise, before turning to look at Toph. Instead of near the door, as he expected, she was only a few feet from him, crawling on her hands and knees, like before.

“Toph, what are you…” The words died in his throat as Toph reached him, placing her hand on his hardening crotch.

“Isn’t it obvious, master?” Toph gently massaged his manhood through the robes, before turning the chair to face her directly. “Your concubine is here to serve you.”

Without hesitation, Toph freed Zuko’s manhood from his robes, smiling as the throbbing cock was directly in front of her. Taking it in hand, she gave small, quick licks to the tip, teasing him as she brought his manhood to full size. As precum began forming at the tip, she quickly took him in her mouth, down to the very base.

Grunting in satisfaction and surprise, Zuko leaned back as Toph bobbed her head on his cock, the sound of shuffling papers replaced by the sound of Toph choking herself on him. Unconsciously, his hand went down to her head, guiding her as she pleased him.

Finally, with a grunt of satisfaction, he felt himself tense as he prepared to release down her throat. In response, Toph sped up her efforts, moving with a speed that defied the grip her throat had on him. When he finally released his load, she pulled back just enough to taste every rope he shot into her mouth and down her throat.

Licking her lips, she rose to her feet, slowly discarding her clothing as she did so. Zuko watched as her pert breasts were released from their confines, and she practically peeled the clothing from her lower body, teasingly revealing her tight ass.

Overcome by his desire, Zuko rose from his chair, grabbing Toph as he did so, and bending her over his desk, tearing her remaining clothes off as he did so. Soon, her bare backside was jutting out from his desk, with her tight, smooth pussy dripping with anticipation.

“Ohh, master, please hurry and use your concubine.”

Toph’s teasing tone pushed him over the edge, and without hesitation he positioned himself behind her, and thrust into her with all his strength. In a single motion, he filled her entirely, with the tip of his cock kissing the entrance to her fertile womb.

Pulling back, he teasingly pulled out until only the tip remained. Before she could tighten up, he thrust back into her, eliciting a sexy yelp from her. So he repeated the process, again and again, picking up speed as he fucked her. Looking down at her ass, bouncing off his cock, he instinctively spanked her, causing her to moan even louder.

So he did the only thing he could, and spanked her again, and again, until her cheeks were red as his robes, and he felt the pressure building inside. With a final roar, he pulled her onto him entirely, sitting back in his chair as he did so, and thrust straight into her cervix, and came deep inside her womb.

Rope after rope was fired, with Toph’s womb drinking every last drop like a man in the desert given his first drink. When he finally felt the last of his seed released inside her, he looked down at her, and saw the slight bump he had given her, just from his seed alone. As they recovered their breath, Zuko knew there was no way she wouldn’t get pregnant. Azula’s fantasy of assembling a harem for him to breed was becoming reality.

Not long after, Azula woke from her sleep, and looked over to see her son in his cradle, right next to the bed, so she knew her baby was safe. She wouldn’t be satisified knowing her baby was gettting anything but the best treatment, and who could treat a baby better than their mother?

As she pulled the now waking prince into her arms to begin feeding him, she found herself hosting an unexpected visitor.

“Ty Lee? Is something wrong?”

Ty Lee shuffled forward nervously. “Um… well, there might be a little… um, situation that… you should know about.”

“Oh? What seems to be the problem?”

“Well, I heard that Toph had arrived, and I wanted to talk to her about doing some training with the Kyoshi Warriors. The servants said she… went to see Zuko after visiting you.”

A sly grin appeared on Azula’s face. “Oh? And what did you see, when you went after her?”

Ty Lee blinked in surprise at Azula’s question, before a faint crimson appeared in her cheeks. Before she could answer, Azula continued.

“Did you see her and my husband, together, enjoying each other’s bodies?”

Ty Lee nodded, but that didn’t stop Azula, who merely motioned for her to come closer, as she lowered her voice to a whisper.

“Did you see her kneeling in front of him, servicing his throbbing manhood? Did you see how big it was, and wonder how it felt to choke on it? Or maybe you caught them in a more compromising position? Maybe you saw her taking my husband inside her, and wondered how someone so small, can handle something that big?”

Ty Lee nodded furiously to all her questions. She had seen all of it, and denial would serve no purpose, least of all as she felt a growing dampness between her legs. Best to play along and get out of there before she embarassed herself.

Azula seemed to disagree, as once Ty Lee was in arms reach, her free hand shot out, grabbing Ty Lee’s crotch, and gently rubbing it. Azula’s smirk grew as she felt how wet her friend was getting, imagining herself in Toph’s position.

Slowly, and gently, she pulled Ty Lee closer to her, before reaching up, and cupping one of her breasts. Gently squeezing it in her hands, she looked her friend in the eyes, as she asked the most important question.

“Did you want to join?”

Ty Lee surpressed a moan, as she whimpered out her answer.

“Yes.”

***

HOT DAMN!

[the-fiction-witch]

Dad

Media - The Queens Gambit Character - Benny Watts Couple - Benny X Reader Reader - Y/n Watts Rating - Adorable + Sad Word Count - 3290

Warning - Suicide / Self Harm

I stood shivering, my body drenched to the bone, every inch of me felt the bite of the cold. The rain fell gently, casting a soft grey hue over the freshly trimmed grass and the vibrant flowers, now appearing muted in colour. Despite the discomfort, I kept my gaze fixed on the dull grass determined not to let a single tear escape. As I struggled to maintain my composure, I counted each breath, acutely aware of the overwhelming emotions that threatened to consume me. It was difficult to fathom the reality of the situation.

I heard steps coming closer but I ignored them likely just another person here to say the same old thing.

"Dad?" Her voice spoke up, and I felt a little weight lift from me, As I lifted my gaze, I was met with the sight of her standing before me. She was adorned in a pretty black dress, her hair elegantly braided and cascading over her shoulder. Tear stains adorned her cheeks, "You Okay?" She asked,

"I'm alright Lina. I'm alright." I lied, as I got to my feet ran my hands up and down her upper arms to try and soothe her goosebumps from the cold, I gave her forehead a soft kiss and held her as tightly as I could barely even imagine letting her out of my sight. "How are you feeling?"

She nodded, "Okay," she lied too, she trembled just as much as me.

"It's okay... It'll all be okay... Its... it's just you and me now." I whispered into her hair, But I froze up when I saw him standing across the way.

He stood by the metal gate dressed in his suit with a black umbrella in hand, watching from afar where almost everyone else had headed inside, "What the hell is he doing here..." I muttered,

"Dad don't," Lina told me, "Not today, for mom."

"You're right Lina," I sighed, "Sorry."

"It's okay, come on.. run inside before you get a running nose." She smiled,

I chuckled a little at her saying that, just what her mother used to say every time, "I'm coming Lina, you go on I'll be there in a second," I told her,

She nodded and headed off to so see everyone else.

As I stood there, my gaze lingered on the smooth marble stone, the letters carved into it with such precision. Each letter seemed to hold a weight of its own, especially the name "Y/n Watts." It was a name that brought a flood of emotions, making me feel as though I might break down at any moment. The reality of seeing her name etched in stone was something I never fathomed I would have to face. I always thought that if anyone, it would be me in the ground first, not her.

The thought of being the one standing by her grave, the one who outlived her, was a heavy burden to bear. I couldn't help but feel a deep sense of loss and regret for the life that was cut short.

With a heavy heart, I leaned forward and pressed a small kiss to my fingertips, then gently tapped it against the top of the stone, as if sending a message to the one who lay beneath.

"Love you, Y/n," I muttered before I turned to head inside, unfortunately having to walk past him.

"I am sorry Benny," he spoke up,

I tried to just keep going but I couldn't, "You have a hell of a nerve Danny," I glared,

"I came to pay my respects," he said, "As I do to all my cases,"

"Hardly call it your case! With how little work you did."

"I did what I had to do..."

"Yes, you did. The bare minimum! Choked it up to suicide and nothing else. Ignored everything that didn't line up with your preset opinion,"

"And you ignored everything that didn't line up with your preset opinion!" he yelled back,

But we stood in silence for a moment, "I am sorry Benny. I am. I can't imagine how hard this is-"

"I don't need your sympathies,"

"The report is done. The case is closed. Her her rest."

"...She can't rest until I find out the truth,"

"What truth!"

"She was murdered!"

"Oh for- Benny-"

"No. No. I will not listen to you and your stupid excuses! She was murdered!"

"She killed herself Benny!" he yelled back his voice echoed for a moment which silenced us both, "I am sorry Benny. But there is no case, there is no murder, she killed herself... Y/n hadn't been well for a long time,"

"What the hell do you know about how well she was." I said through gritted teeth, "Y/n would not have done this... I know it."

"It's hard sometimes to accept but-"

"No. I know Y/n better than anyone in this world, I know she would never have done this."

"Okay... Okay..." he sighed, "You believe what you want to believe,"

"I will. You can go."

"I'd still like to pay my respects,"

"You've said your piece about your case."

"To my sister-in-law then." He glared, "... She still is as much as you like to deny it... and you are still my brother Benny,"

"No. You set that ship ablaze a long time ago."

He nodded, "If you and Lina need anything-"

"You stay the hell away from me." I warn him, "And don't you dare come anywhere near my daughter..."

"The offer still stands," he said before he walked away,

"Dad?" Lina spoke up as she came out to get me,

"I'm coming Lina, don't worry about it," I nodded heading inside with her.

I sat alone at the sturdy oak dining table, the same table that used to be cluttered with chess boards and books, now adorned with a disarray of scattered papers and opened letters. With a cigarette delicately held between my fingers, I brought it to my lips, the wisps of smoke gracefully curling and disappearing into the air. Each appeal to reopen her case had been met with deafening silence, each rejection bearing the signature of the man responsible. It felt like I was stuck in an endless loop, but I refused to succumb to despair.

I knew in my heart that it couldn't be true. Y/n had struggled with some issues in the past, but she had been actively attending therapy, and we had been working through everything together. For over two years, she hadn't been unwell. The idea that she had taken her own life just didn't add up. I was certain of it. None of the signs that the books talk about, the signs that are supposed to indicate someone is considering suicide, were present in her behaviour. We had made plans together, plans that she was genuinely excited about. None of this made any sense. Even during the times when she was unwell, the thought of ending her life rarely crossed her mind. And if it did, she always expressed that she wouldn't have chosen to do it in that way. I know for a fact that she wouldn't have.

So many little things just... didn't make sense about that night. So much ignored.

"Hey Dad," Lina spoke up,

"Hey, what are you doing out of bed?" I smiled at her,

"I couldn't sleep..."

"Yeah... me either," I lied, in truth I just hadn't realized how late it was,

She came over sitting at the table with me with a book in her hand,

"What are you reading?"

"Nothing just..."

"what is it, Lina?"

"Just been flipping through old albums before bed. Helps me sleep."

As she placed the album on the table, I nodded in anticipation. Slowly, she opened it, revealing a treasure trove of sweet pictures capturing the moments shared by Y/n and me before we tied the knot. The images brought a smile to my face, evoking memories of our happiness. Together, Lina and I savoured the experience, lingering over each photo, reminiscing and sharing stories about the captured moments.

"She looked so beautiful," She cooed looking at a photo from the wedding,

"She did, most beautiful I've ever seen her I think..." I nodded, "You're in these too you know,"

"Yeah later in the book,"

"No, no. You're right there." I smiled tapping Y/n's stomach on the picture, "We didn't know but... you were there." I smiled,

As we flipped through the photo album, we were overcome with emotion. It was heartwarming to see Y/n cradling Lina on the day she was born, our first holidays together, and all the precious moments captured of us as a family. Each photo brought back a flood of memories and emotions, reminding us of the love and joy we have shared.

Lina teared up when we reached a picture, of our last trip as a family. I had been invited to London for a chess tournament so of course, we went on a family trip, the three of us stood on a beautiful bridge cuddled up in the rain. Only two months before Y/n died... we looked so happy. I pulled Lina into my arms letting her cry into my chest.

"I miss her so so much..."

"I know, I miss her too." I cooed doing my best to comfort her, "I know it's hard now, but we just have to remind ourselves of all the joy we had with her."

"Will the pain ever stop?"

"... I don't know, I've never lost anyone that I loved as much as I love your mother. I'm sure we will always miss her, always love her, but... I think the pain will fade in time sweet girl." I told her, "Go on, up to bed you have school tomorrow."

She nodded and took the album to put it back on the shelf but she stopped at the stairs, "Dad?"

"Yes, Lina?"

"... This. This is how I wanna remember Mom." She said squeezing the album,

"I know," I nodded,

"This is how I wanna remember her. and... I think this is how you should remember her too." she said, "Dad don't linger on how she died... you know Mom wouldn't want you to spend all your time worrying over the little details of how she died. Not when we have so much of her life to remember,"

"...I know Lina, I'm sorry I just... Finding it hard to let her go and this... all this..." I said looking at my papers, "Let me feel like I still have something of hers, something to do, something to fix, I... this is my last bit of her. I will let her go... I will... I'm... I'm just... not ready yet."

"You'll always have some piece of her, the memories, the photos, the little things of hers, she won't ever really be gone if you let her go. You have to let Mom go someday Dad,"

"I know. Just not yet."

She nodded and headed up the stairs, leaving me once again alone.

I heard a knock on the door while I was making my coffee, for a moment I had to shake my head out of my routine as I still tried to make tea as well as my coffee. I always made Y/n tea and I still try every morning. But I went to the door pulling it open and the moment I saw Danny I grimaced.

"I thought I told you I didn't want to see you,"

"I know, but some friends and I got together and wanted to help out a little-"

"I don't want anything from you. or your friends."

"Benny, It's just a little something." He offered an envelope from his pocket,

"No. I don't care. We're fine. Don't need your pity."

"For Lina then." he said offering it again, "over a year of her dance classes in there. Just take it, Benny."

"There a catch?"

"You let me in. for a cup of coffee so I can check in on my brother and my niece."

I sighed taking the envelope and letting him in, "Coffee's just been made, cream in the fridge, sugar in the canister you can figure it out." I told him as I set the envelope on the table and sat with my coffee. He slipped off his coat and sat down across from me.

"How are you?"

"My wife is dead. How do you think I am?"

"Alright," he nodded, "Where's Lina?"

"Sleepover at her friends last night,"

"One of her dance class friends?"

"Yeah, Ellis her name is. Nice girl... two different colour tyes."

"Ohh..."

"Yeah, it's cool. Easy to remember her."

"I'm surprised you let her go, figured you'd never want her out of your sight?"

"She's a teenager, and the last thing she wants is to be cooped up at home with her dad, ... she needs a routine to go out and have fun, Ellis lost her mom too so... I kinda hoped she'd help her through this... and besides I don't want her wallowing here."

"With you?"

"I'm a grown-ass man I can wallow if I want."

"True," he sighed, "Maybe I'll come by and see her another time then?"

"No. I don't want you near Lina,"

"I'm her uncle, why not?"

"You know why not."

"You're still on that,"

"Yeah. I am." I sighed, "And you're not her uncle 'cause you're not my brother."

"Half brother. Close enough." He said, "And yes I had to do my job... but that doesn't mean I don't care."

"Sure seems like you don't care when you pawn off my wife's investigation and deny any attempts for appeal,"

"What are you appealing? It was a suicide. And yes that might be horrible to accept Benny but that's what it was, case closed."

"You never even listened to me. Maybe if you had you'd be a better cop. or a better brother."

"Fine..." he sighed, "Go on. All ears."

"Don't take the piss-"

"I mean it, as an officer and as a brother I am listening,"

"Fine... I think she was murdered..." I began, "In the report, it was said she committed suicide with a six-inch chef's knife, cut her wrists and neck in the bathtub and bled out. All while I picked Lina up from her dance classes. Case closed. But so much didn't make any sense, The dance studio Lina goes she walks too when school is over, and it's only a five-minute drive from our house. That hardly gave her time to run a whole bath and be dead by the time we got home. The bathroom door wasn't locked, and Y/n locks our bathroom door even when she just goes to pee in the middle of the night, it's just her habit she closes the door and locks it absentmindedly on instinct after so long. Even if we weren't here she would have locked the door, and surely if she wanted to commit and was concerned over time she would have locked the door in case I got back and went to stop her. We don't even own a knife like that never have. The front door was unlocked when I got home, I know I locked it and she wouldn't have unlocked it before going for a bath.

I know in my heart someone did this to her, someone broke in, killed her and left her body to look like a suicide."

"As compelling as that sounds, it is all so easily explained. You forgot the lock the door as you left you were only going to pick up Lina. Y/n forgot about the door lock maybe in a catatonic state she didn't even think about it. Maybe she knew she was planning this and bought the knife at some point hiding it from you. And in water, she would have bled out so much faster in five minutes and it would all be over."

"It doesn't make sense..."

"What's the alternative? Someone came in, and opened your front door without damaging it, brought a knife in with them, killed Y/n, cut her throat without leaving any mess, dragged her bleeding body to the bathtub, ran her a bath, let her bleed out, set it up like a suicide, left without any trace and just happened to forget to lock the bathroom door on their way out?"

I began to tremble... "You know people who could do that."

Silence sat between us for a good while,

"I do know people who... could do that."

"I know you know people who HAVE done that." I began to sit up,

"...I do but-"

"I know you know people who HAVE done that AND GOT AWAY WITH IT" My rage began to boil as it all became so clear as I rose from my sear,

"I- I-"

"I know you know people who have done that and got away with it, and they got away with it becuase you made sure they did!"

"Benny-"

"You did this. You did this!" I screamed, "You did this! You killed her!"

"Fine, I did!" He got up from his seat,

My heart fell to my feet, "You did this... you killed her... You killed Y/n..."

"Fine... I did."

"Why? For fuck sake why!"

"Cause Dad wants you back."

"He can fuck off!"

"I know. I didn't want to do it... but he wants you to come home."

"No. he wants me to come back to the business."

"Both. He wants you to come home and be safe Lina too." He said, "He got some of the guys to do it. Disposal experts. set her up to make it look like a suicide and have me fast-pass the paperwork as usual and clear everything suspicious. it wasn't malicious,"

"Malicious! You had my wife killed! You ignored the bullshit for him! You let him kill my wife! the love of my life! One of the only good things I have in my life and will ever have! And you killed her!"

"He thought the loss would bring us close, let me bring you back, bring Lina in too where she's safe."

"No! No! Don't you dare think for a second any of that excuses what you've done! I never want to see you again! I never want to hear from you again!"

"Then what do I tell him?"

"The same thing I've been telling him for the last thirty years. GO FUCK YOURSELF!" I screamed forcing him out the door and letting him fall down the stoop steps, "He has always been dead to me. Now you are too. I will never forgive either of you for this... and if I see you come around here anymore or go anywhere near Lina I will skin you bollocks to brains!" I screamed before slamming the door closed.

I knew something was wrong about her death but I never imagined it was this, I never thought it could ever be this. But I know I can't go to the police with the truth, Danny will block it and I can't imagine what would happen to me and Lina. I walked up the stairs and my hand shook as I pushed open the bathroom door still closed after the cleaning crew came, I pushed it open and sat on the floor leant against the bathtub, flashes in my mind of coming home and cradling Y/n in my arms as she laid dead. And for the first time since the night she died... I let the tears flow.

And I cried.

I cried like I had never cried in my life, all the days since she had been gone, I just let all of it out, the endless grief and sorrow crying until my breath gave out and even then I couldn't stop the tears as I gasped for breath.

I don't know how long I cried for, but Lina found me when she got home. I pulled her into my arms and we shared our tears.

"I love you so much, Lina,"

"I love you to dad," She nodded,

I kissed her head and held her tight knowing now had to keep her safe, everything I had failed to do for Y/n.

I had to protect Lina, as she's the last bit of Y/n I have left in this world. 

[aliensubstance-011]

Hi hello I absolutely adore your band AU!! I was wondering if you have any thoughts on the band's appearances, like clothes/hair dye/etc.? Especially given you've mentioned things past highschool

I rlly rlly want to draw these dorks practising together and want to stay true to your ideas :3

Hello I saw this just before I was going to go to sleep and then laid awake Thinking About It for the next 30 minutes so here I am!

Under the cut because there's a LOT!!

Richie

He layers just as badly as in canon

So in my head it goes:

Long sleeved stripey T-shirt

then a graphic short tee on top (which eventually becomes a band T-shirt nearer then end of senior year when Steph joins the band! (And when I design the logo lmao))

THEN a zip up hoode

I'm not done

Then a leather jacket he found at a garage sale (it's slightly too big for him normally so it fits over everything else.)

Ripped jeans + belt chains

He has one of those goth belts with all the metal eyelets in it

Boots!! He has loads of different coloured laces he wears each day!!

And ofc he has his blue hair

He has his ears pierced too- he has these skeleton studs and they're all he wears.

Oh and the green and black bracelet Max eventually makes when he becomes the band's friend. It's tied onto his belt loops every morning.

Peter

Pretty similar to canon in my head

He takes off his suspenders and bowtie when they practice though (he feels safe then)

His hair is longer! He wears it in a man bun because it made him feel more masc before he came out to everyone (in middle school)

When he felt more comfortable (and after he came out) he decided to keep his hair long and the man bun just kind of stuck

He gets an undercut maybe? I can't decide in whether that's good or not.

He had LOADS of ear piercings (industrial, tragus, three on each lobe, conch, helix) but he's too scared to get facial ones somehow

He wears dangly earrings in his main lobe piercing

After he makes friends with Steph and stops wearing his suspenders+bowtie altogether he unbuttons and untucks his shirt during practice.

(Steph almost passes out the first time he does this. She can see his collar bones. Victorian woman seeing ankle for the first time core)

Richie clips a short chain onto his belt loops "So we match!"

His yellow and orange bracelet becomes his hairband- you can't usually see it unless you're looking for it/it's in a ponytail

Ruth

Ruth was actually so so difficult for me to decide

Her normal style just goes so hard yknow?

I think she starts wearing Docs like Richie

But she just has rainbow laces and that's it she doesn't change them

She gets a leather jacket too and paints the band logo on (badly)

The band tee she'll wear but it'll be over-sized and half tucked in

Logo front and back babey!!

I don't know what else for Ruth so if you have any ideas please feel free to use them

Her blue and white bracelet is just on her wrist like a normal person lmao

Steph

Nose piercing Nose piercing!! She has a little ring

Her style is already SO SO good for the band AU!!!

She has fingerless leather gloves

She also has tattoos methinks

The beginnings of a rose + thorns sleeve on her left arm

And a shitty stick and poke star on her right wrist (over her veins) she got when she was 16- it's started to fade so she gets other stars tattooed on her wrist around it (one for each band member?)

She's the one who commissions an artist to design the logo, and gets t-shirts made for each of them!!

She, and Ruth both get the logo put on leather jackets. Steph's is proper vintage and is more of a biker jacket though.

She tries to convince Richie and Peter to get ones too, but Richie doesn't want to damage his jacket and Peter refuses to wear one at all (he won't wear the shirt either)

(She catches him using it as a sleep shirt. She teases him about it for weeks)

She cuts her band top into a crop top but she doesn't always wear it.

She dyes the tips of her hair red for while

But it fades into pink weirdly quick

So she dyes it back to her normal ombre

Steph's pink bracelet hangs from a hole made in one of her drumsticks. Her bracelet was made first (Max cried when he saw it)

Max

Max isn't technically part of the band

But he is their #1 fan forever and ever

So he has a shirt too that he wears to all of their (eventual) gigs!! The logo is a bit faded/damaged and washed out because he keeps washing it the wrong way

He has a scar in his eyebrow from when Steph punched him after she first joins the band (this kickstarts his redemption.) (Punchstarts?)

And he has his purple and yellow bracelet around his wrist!

I still haven't figured out how to fit Grace into this AU at all. I do HC that she thinks all music other than Christian Music is Of The Devil™ and she plays the flute but that's about it honestly... One of these days I'll figure something out

[fanficonly]

Wenclair "Mine" - Chapter 12

"I'm sorry" was all she said for the millionth time

As if her feelings were controllable. As if she got to choose who her Mate was meant to be. As if any of this was her fault.

"Why are you sorry?" Wednesday absent-mindedly stroked Enid's hair while asking the question. Neither one of them had found the strength to leave each others grasp so instead they remained neatly placed in the middle of the floor embracing one another.

"B-because I-" she stuttered again.

"Are you afraid of me?" She moved her head to look down at the blonde haired girl.

"No" Enid pulled away from Wednesday looking at her offended at the insinuation.

"Then why are you sorry? why are you acting like this? It's making me feel concerned for you. I'm in unfamiliar territory Enid my only defense is to question you relentlessly and you understand I will do it" Wednesday explained her actions further. She had never been so openly honest with the werewolf girl before nor had she ever felt so ok with thier current position. She just wanted her to be ok.

"Because I hurt you I'm not allowed to hurt you" Enid's lip quivered as she spoke, tears threatening her eye once again. She stood up leaving Wednesday still sat on the floor illuminated by the colourful lights of Enid's window.

"Why not? If you're not fearful of losing your life from harming me then why are you so scared?" Wednesday was pushing for the fear angle. It's all she had ever known from the people around her. If it wasn't her family and their unconditional love it was everyone else who naturally feared her.

She stood up and moved towards Enid who was staring out of the window facing away from the girl in shame

"I know you won't hurt me" Enid said, very sure of this but she remained hugging herself for comfort occasionally gripping at the material of other jumper sleeve.

"Bold of you to assume that" Wednesday retorted, speaking to the back of Enid. She was still a little on edge with how nice she was being to her bestfriend. Again... It was unfamiliar territory for Wednesday but nevertheless she pushed forward. She had to make sure Enid was ok and that they were ok with each other.

Enid seemed distracted, trying to distance herself from the soon to be awkward conversation. Wednesday, having not received a reaction to her smart witted response spoke again "Did you not hear me? I said-" but her words were cut short when Enid whipped around quickly saying "I'm scared of losing you Wednesday" she blurted out unintentionally. It was a reaction to Wednesday's deflecting. Her bluntness and monotone expressions began to annoy Enid because she knew when it came to her Wednesday wasn't always like this. She had that soft spot for the blonde girl, she knew it and she wasn't ready to give it up so easily.

Wednesday again thought logically about the situation rather than allow her emotions to take presidency over the entire ordeal

"I highly doubt this miniscule injury will cause me to bleed out, Enid. I already survived a Hyde attack" Wednesday looked at her wound and smirked at the memory. Enid wasn't referring to the black haired girl losing her life just the inevitable fact that she would leave Enid upon realising the feelings she had for her were romantic not platonic.

"That's not what I meant" Enid mumbled.

"So I'm not dying, it will take more than a harmless unintentional scratch or even a near death experience with a Hyde" Wednesday assured her once again and this time Enid turned to her visibly upset

When she didn't speak Wednesday assured her once again "I survived Enid"

"Yes you did" Enid agreed, focusing on the part about Wednesday almost dying from an attack by that repulsive creature.

"Right after I went looking for you in the woods" Wednesday continued talking, oblivious to Enid's shameful expression, due to being lost in the memory of that night.

"Yes you did I'm sorry" she responded hoarsely. Was Wednesday going to get angry at her? Tell her everything she already knew? That it was her fault Wednesday was even out there at that time and if it wasn't for her she would be untouched by death's scythe.

"You also saved my life, Enid" Wednesday raised her eyebrows, after noticing her friend's solemn expression and took one step closer to the girl.

"Yeah I guess I did" her expression softened, a slight smile creeping its way onto her lips.

"Right after turning into a wolf for the first time" Wednesday continued recapping last night's events.

"Yes I did" she spoke quietly but proudly just listening to Wednesday. She also knew what the next part of the story was and tried to prepare herself for the inevitable.

"Enid?" She began to ask

"Please don't ask me Wednesday" knowing full well she was about to be questioned about what she had said to Wednesday after wolfing out. She opted for just pretending it didn't happen, hoping Wednesday would just let it go...

Wednesday took a second of silence contemplating how or even if she should say it out loud. But ultimately appealed to her will.

"Am I yours Enid?" Wednesday had moved to stand closer to Enid who wiggled nervously pulling at the sleeve of her sweater.

"W-what I - what do you mean" She gasped, not sure how to react to the way Wednesday had said it. She could have flat out just asked what it meant but instead she ... She did that?

"Am. I. yours." She paused after every word, not able to make it any clearer than this. Enid finally submitted looking down squeezing her eyes shut and then facing Wednesday... Now she was scared.

"Yes." She gulped visibly. Why lie? There was no point to it. Wednesday wasn't going to give over and Enid was now realising that either way she would lose her bestfriend. This was already causing a rift because her own stubbornness to tell the girl the truth and Wednesday inability to let things go. They would be at odds until it was out in the open. The truth. Because she knew Wednesday would not believe a lie.

"I know this may shock you but I don't subscribe to ownership of humans Enid" Wednesday really was ignoring everything she knew Enid was feeling. She had to be sure, 100% sure that she wasn't wrong.

"No no it's not like that I-" Enid stammered quickly.

"Then explain it to me Enid." She demanded "You had your first shift In front of me, I've never seen you so happy and that's saying something" she pointed out "The first thing you said to me was the word Mine" she stated fact " What does that mean Enid? You immediately panicked, you left, you haven't been the same since that moment and quite frankly it's causing me to become anguished." She said, becoming more frustrated with every step she recalled.

“I don’t mean for you to feel that way” Enid said apologetically once again, letting her face fall into her hands and pushing back her hair anxiously.

“ It’s annoying that I’m feeling anything at all Enid!” She interrupted the girl, accidentally raising her voice slightly “ It's a putrid impulse ”she quieted down irritated with her own invasive thoughts.

“This is exactly why I don’t want to tell you Wednesday” Enid explained and finally Wednesday understood. 

“ I understand” Wednesday assured the broken girl “What if I...” she swallowed back the acid in her throat and continued “ keep an open mind?” she asked. 

“ It wont make a difference" Enid scoffed.

“That’s pessimistic of you” Wednesday insulted.

“ Well let me be pessimistic for once” Enid shrugged

 ”No that’s my thing, you’re stealing my thing” Wednesday folded her arms like a child being told they weren't allowed the sweets in the shop, but her face remained still.

“Wednesday” she put her hands in her face frustrated again. She had never experienced so many emotions at once in such a broken cycle, she didn't even know what to feel anymore. 

“ Enid” She mirrored her counterpart 

“ I’m serious” she warned.

“Me too ”she warned back.

“As usual” Enid rolled her eyes.

"As opposed to what? Happy for no reason" Wednesday snarked back unintentionally.

“Wednesday” she sighed, knowing full well the raven haired girl was incapable of this whole open mind idea she had proposed.

“Enid” she mirrored again.

“ I can’t do this” she shook her head lightly. This was just another one of thier conversations that turned to arguments that neither one of them would ever admit fault to.

“ I can” Wednesday challenged.

“ You don’t want to” Enid warned her again. She wasn't ready for these feelings she knew it, look at how she was acting at the mere mention of it all.

“I assure you I do” She was met with Wednesday confident eyes.

“No” Enid said

“Yes” Wednesday opposed her once again.

“I swear to God” she lifted her arms in annoyance and let them fall to her legs with a small *slap* sound.

“You’re not religious” Wednesday reacted, tilting her head to the side.

“For Gods sake” Enid was getting really apted up now.

“ Again You’re not-” she was about to agitate the girl further but was interrupted by

“Wednesday!” she yelled, not even attempting to hide the fact that Wednesday was getting to her

“Enid” she smirked. Really what did people expect from her. To just lay down and accept this? No she was not ready to lose Enid to some stupid unexplained feeling.

“Wow” was all she said

“ Just tell me!” Wednesday raised her voice back.

“No”

“Say it!”

“No!”

“Mine!” she spat the words hoping to trigger something in Enid

“Mate!” Enid involuntarily growled back, her wolf ears and claws making a fully acceptable appearance as she lunged towards Wednesday. She knocked her back, now above her practically pinning her to the ground with hungry eyes.

“What?” Wednesday blinked.

“What?” Enid blinked, slowly becoming aware of what she had done. She started to move off of Wednesday, settling her animalistic impulses but was immediately stopped by the girl beneath her gripping elbow to hold her in place.

"Enid" for the first time ever Wednesday voice softened intentionally and she looked up at the girl with pleading eyes asking her to repeat herself.

“You’re... ” Enid hesitated “ You’re my Mate Wednesday" she stared down at Wednesday, taking in the last interaction she would ever have with her best friend "There I said it” she spoke pushing herself harshly off Wednesday, releasing herself from her grip. She stood up and walked across to her bed but not before stopping mid way to turn her head to the side and say “Happy?” finally accepting that it was over.

“Not ...usually” Wednesday admitted, sitting up from her current position. After actually hearing the words , hearing the girl admit it... she was dumbfounded. Of course she had her suspicions that Enid was hiding some kind of feelings towards her, she was doing the same after all. But her mate? Now Wednesday wasn't incredibly well versed in werewolf culture but she knew the connotations behind that word. This was far more serious than Wednesday had originally prepared herself for.

And because of this she suddenly felt this overwhelming sensation of guilt for basically forcing the girl to admit something that's probably been crushing her from the inside out.

She had to do something.

But in that moment nothing came to mind.

She panicked internally. Is this why she felt so much of that love thing everyone talked about towards Enid? Is that why she was the only person she had ever shared intimate thoughts with? Enid had seen her exposed mind, body and now soul. Was the reason she allowed all of this to happen because they were meant to be together.

But who decides your fate? Wednesday always felt separate from those at the mercy of their impulses,delusions of love and weakness. But somehow finding out that the bright, bubbly,curly haired blonde werewolf room mate she had reluctantly allowed herself to feel for was meant to be romantically involved with her, helped slide all the pieces of this neverending puzzle into place.

The question was ... What does she do about?

[disasterbuck]

once upon a drunken night

In which Buck and Eddie realised they've already kissed. Years ago. At a party. Before they knew each other. Read on AO3

"I've only ever kissed one guy before, and I don't even remember what he looked like," Eddie said. "I was so drunk I could barely walk straight. It was a random party that some girl dragged me to, I don't know. I wasn't in a good head space, to be honest."

"You kissed a guy?" Buck asked, bouncing up the stairs to the loft and inserting himself into the conversation.

Eddie looked up from where he was sitting with Hen, eyes wide and startled by the interruption. It was midnight, the middle of their shift, and everyone else was asleep in the bunk room.

"Buck, this is a private conversation," Hen said with a sigh.

"Uh, you're literally in the common area. If it was private you should've gone somewhere else," Buck said, plopping himself down in an armchair across from them. "So? Tell me about this gay kiss, Eddie."

"It wasn't a-" Eddie cut himself off and sighed, rubbing his chin nervously. "Like I just said, I don't even remember the guy. I was drunk."

"You must remember something," Buck pressed.

Avoiding eye contact, Eddie shrugged and said, "I remember thinking that his lips were really soft. For a guy. I mean, I just assumed that kissing a guy would feel rough. But it didn't."

"How long ago was this, exactly?" Buck asked.

"Like, five years ago?" Eddie guessed. "I was in Peru with a friend."

"No way!" Buck exclaimed, eyes lighting up. "You were in Peru in 2017? So was I!"

With a frown, Eddie asked, "What were you doing in Peru?"

"Bartending," Buck replied easily. "But enough about me. How did it happen?"

With another sigh, Eddie glanced over at Hen to see her giving him a sympathetic grimace. "I was visiting a friend. She took me to this party and I got super drunk because of... life. Whatever. All I remember is I ended up on the floor beside this red couch with someone's empty plastic cup underneath me and some guy on top of me."

"On top of you?" Hen asked with raised eyebrows.

Eddie flushed and looked away from her.

"That is so weird," Buck said with a smile, shaking his head. "I have almost exactly the same story! When I was in Peru doing my bartending, one of the many parties I went to, I also ended up kissing someone on the floor beside a red couch."

Eddie didn't notice the way Hen's eyes widened and she suddenly flicked her eyes back and forth between them. He just grinned and rolled his eyes.

"You've probably made out with someone beside a couch of every colour of the rainbow, Buck," he teased.

"True," Buck said proudly, leaning back in his armchair and looking up at the ceiling. "But I do wish he hadn't disappeared on me that night. I was gonna ask him out the next day, but I couldn't find him. Apparently he had to go home early or something. Too bad."

Hen had leant so far back in her seat that she was almost being swallowed by the cushions and her eyes were so wide that they made her glasses look like magnifiers.

"'He'?" Eddie asked. "Yours was a guy, too?"

"Yeah," Buck said, looking back over at him. "I was also pretty drunk, so I don't remember much. But he had this sexy short hair like he was in the military or something, and I- heh. Never mind."

"No," Eddie said, watching Buck attentively. "Go on."

"Well, just remember," Buck said with an embarrassed smile. "I was still Buck 1.0 back then."

"Right," Eddie said with a smirk. "What did you do?"

"I gave him a handjob," Buck admitted, glancing over at Hen and blushing when he saw her look of horror. "I know, we were in the middle of a party and I'm pretty sure some people saw us. But damn if he didn't have the best orgasm of his life. I swear, I really thought that would keep him around long enough for me to ask him out." Buck sighed and shook his head sadly.

When Eddie didn't say anything else right away, Buck looked back up at him to see how he had reacted to the tale.

Eddie's face had gone extremely pale. He looked almost sick.

"Eddie?" Buck said slowly, regretting giving in and admitting what he'd done in his past. "Uh... Sorry. But you did ask."

Eddie opened his mouth to say something but then shut it again. He glanced over at Hen and his face seemed to pale even further, if that was possible.

Buck looked over at Hen and was surprised to see she had both hands over her mouth and had slumped so far down in her seat that her head was below the top of the couch.

"Hen?" he asked nervously. "I... that's not even one of the worst things I've ever done. Why are you looking like that? Is it just because it was with a guy? You two knew I was bisexual, right? I'm pretty sure I've mentioned it..."

Somehow managing to snap herself out of it, Hen suddenly stood up and gave her head a brief shake.

"I can't be here for the rest of this," she announced. On her way out, she paused beside Eddie and put a hand on his shoulder. "Good luck," she murmured.

Buck frowned as Hen hurried down the staircase and left the two of them alone.

"The party you were at," Eddie said quietly, the words sounding somehow flat. "Was it at the apartment of a girl named Chloe?"

"Yeah! How did you know?" Buck asked, a small confused grin on his face.

"It was me," Eddie said, his Adam's Apple bobbing as he swallowed nervously.

"What was you?" Buck asked, even as some part of his brain already understood what was being said. He needed to hear it spelled out.

"The guy," Eddie said. "On the floor. Beside the red couch."

And suddenly Buck could see it: Eddie's eyes glazed over with alcohol; his military haircut; the way his mouth had formed a perfect 'o' when Buck's hand travelled lower. Buck could feel the ghost of familiar hands gripping his hips and a shiver went through his body.

He sat back, staring at Eddie in astonishment.

"You?" he whispered.

There was a little more colour back in Eddie's cheeks as he nodded.

Buck couldn't look away. He was suddenly aware of how dim the lighting was in the loft right now. Due to it being nighttime the lights were set to a lower hue, which made sitting there with Eddie feel a lot more intimate than usual.

His mouth began curling up into a smile without his mind making the conscious decision to do so. He wet his lips with his tongue and watched giddily as Eddie's eyes were drawn to the movement.

"Let me get this straight," Buck said, chuckling to himself at his choice of words. "I'm the only guy you've ever kissed?"

Rolling his lips inward briefly, Eddie let out a sigh before nodding again. "Yes, you're the only guy I've ever kissed," he confirmed. "Please don't let that go to your head. Like I said, I was drunk-"

"Too late," Buck snickered. "This is the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"It happened years ago," Eddie said with a reluctantly amused frown. "And besides, I barely remember it."

"You remember enough, though," Buck said with a smirk. "Come on, tell me the truth. That was the best orgasm of your life, wasn't it?"

"Buck!" Eddie exclaimed, looking away from him as his face went a shade darker from embarrassment. "That's not... I barely remember..."

Buck stood up from his armchair and crossed to the couch Eddie was on, sitting so close beside him that their legs and shoulders were pressed up against each other. Eddie was already sitting right at one end of the couch, so there was no way for him to escape without actually standing up and leaving.

"Do you need me to refresh your memory?" Buck asked quietly, one hand sliding onto Eddie's thigh.

"I thought you weren't that guy anymore," Eddie teased half-heartedly, eyes fixed on Buck's hand as it crept higher.

"No one's watching," Buck whispered, revelling in the sharp intake of breath as his hand got high enough to slide over Eddie's arousal. "Say it, Eddie."

"Say what?" Eddie groaned, tipping his head back and biting his lip.

"Say that I gave you the best orgasm of your life," Buck murmured, leaning in so that his lips ghosted across Eddie's jaw. "And maybe I'll give you a second."

Eddie's breathing was laboured and his eyes were closed as Buck's hand slowly stroked him through his trousers. One of his hands had found its way onto Buck's thigh, which he was gripping tightly.

"Buck..." he whispered, his voice strangled.

"Yes, Eddie?" Buck purred.

"What the hell is going on here?"

Buck and Eddie sprang apart, heads swivelling to see Bobby standing at the top of the staircase. He was staring at them in shock and anger.

"Uh, Bobby, it's... It's not what it looks like," Buck stammered desperately, glancing sideways to see that Eddie had pressed both his hands over his crotch.

"Do you have any idea how much paperwork I'm going to have to fill out, now?" he demanded of them. "Seriously. You two are so inconsiderate."

"Inconsiderate?" Eddie muttered questioningly.

"Bobby-" Buck began, but the man was already on the move again, shaking his head as he headed to the kitchenette.

"What's worse is I now owe Chimney ten bucks," Bobby sighed.

"Wait," Eddie snapped, standing up. "You placed bets on us?"

"Yeah," came another voice, and Buck and Eddie both turned to see Chimney walking up the stairs with a sheepish Hen following behind him. "I bet you'd make the moves on each other before Valentine's Day."

"I thought it would take another year for either of you to do anything," Bobby said from where he was getting himself a drink.

"If it makes you boys feel any better, none of us guessed that the two of you had already kissed way before you even came to the firehouse," Hen commented.

"Wait a minute," Buck said, his eyebrows furrowing in thought. "What were the terms of the bet? Because Eddie and I haven't done anything."

"Haven't done anything?" Bobby snorted. "You two were practically about to have sex when I came upstairs."

"On our couch?" Chimney asked despairingly.

"Not sex," Buck corrected. "Just-"

"Buck," Eddie said quickly, shaking his head. "Stop."

"Yes, no one wants to hear the details, Buckley," Chimney said, slapping Buck on the shoulder as he walked past to join Bobby in the kitchenette.

"But how are you supposed to know if you've actually won or not?" Buck continued, brushing off Eddie's hand. "We didn't do anything. We haven't kissed or even talked about this yet-"

"Buck, you had your hand on my dick," Eddie said, too exasperated to remain quiet. "What is there to talk about?"

"Well, is this a one time thing?" Buck asked, turning to Eddie. "Did they bet we would kiss or that we'd sleep together? Or was it that we'd start dating? Technically, we haven't done any of those three things yet."

"The night is still young," Chimney called over to them from where he was sitting on a stool at the island bench.

"As far as I'm concerned, Chimney won," Bobby piped up. "So can we please stop talking about this and move on?"

"No!" Buck exclaimed stubbornly. "Not until we figure out-"

Before he could finish his sentence, Eddie had grabbed his head and pulled him down into a kiss.

Buck sank into it with a sigh, his arms going around Eddie's waist to pull him close. He forgot that he was in a room with other people and that he'd been trying to win an argument – all he knew was Eddie, in his arms and in his mouth.

Eddie pulled away too soon and Buck leant forward, trying to chase him down for more.

"Wait," Eddie chuckled, turning his face away so that Buck's lips landed on his cheek instead. "Not here."

"Yeah, get a room," Chimney scoffed.

"Chimney!" Bobby scolded, as Buck and Eddie looked at each other and instantly knew they were thinking the same thing.

"Um, don't come downstairs for a while," Buck said, grabbing Eddie's hand and dragging him towards the stairs.

"Are you serious?" Hen called after them. "In our bunk room?"

The last thing Buck heard as he and Eddie hurried down the stairs and veered off towards the sleeping quarters was Bobby's resigned, "Who wants to play a game of Monopoly?"

[non-binary-laurie-strode]

It is, once again, that time of the year! Friends, film queens, and everyone else who follows this blog for whatever reason—It is time for my Pink Bette film awards!

The Pink Bettes, if you are new or out of the loop, are my personal Oscars. They're named after Bette Davis and, of course, my favourite colour. Bettes can be awarded for anything—there are Bettes for my favourite performances, but also they can be given to cool creature designs, bad performances, bizarre line readings, overall weird movies, anything! For better or for worse, something with a Bette made an impact on me.

So let's start awarding! (Warning: Extremely long post. I had originally written a paragraph for each individual winner and got to ten single spaced pages before looking at the length in mute horror. As I write this, I am consciously cutting my commentary down because it's still getting too long!)

This Pink Bettes ceremony is dedicated to the almost 300 movies I watched or rewatched in 2023. A good portion of that came from my Universal Horror marathon, which ran from July through the end of October (with me adding a few extras in November). This is the second biggest year for movies for me since 2020, when that was The Thing We Did during covid quarantines. (I was only 30 or so movies away from topping 2020!)

Honestly, 2022 was not a good film year for me. I didn't feel much passion for it; I think I was beginning to burn out after the strain of 2020/21. My heart wasn't in it. And 2023 started that way for me too. But the Universal Horror marathon really did jumpstart my movie watching and reignited my passion and energy and love for film as an art. For as much as it may have melted my brain at points, that marathon inspired such joy and interest in me. And so, I've made a few alterations to the Pink Bettes this year to reflect that!

How This Works

In order to qualify for a Pink Bette, a movie be considered a "first watch" for me for the year 2023. This means something like our rewatches of the Child's Play (Chucky the killer doll) series are ineligible, because I watched those for the first time in 2019. I don't split the categories by gender, and I don't only have one winner per category; this is to celebrate all the films of the year, and there's room for everyone. Bettes can be for any category I have a whim to create. Many categories are labelled as "Favourite X" because I don't pretend to have haut taste or that I can pick the quantitative best performance. (Nor do I really believe a quantitative best performance is even possible, really.) At the very end, I also award my Keanu Reeves Awards For Slutty, Slutty Film Men—these are for the performances that left us all hot and bothered and filled with horny thoughts. Because we are sex-positive here and we love men.

This year only, I am creating a special subsection that I am dubbing "The Elsa Lanchester Awards," so named after Elsa Lanchester from The Bride of Frankenstein. This subsection is a sort of containment zone for my Universal Horror marathon movies—all movies in that marathon are assigned to the Elsas. Many of them were rewatches, and so they wouldn't qualify for the Bettes normally; however, this presents a problem—Many of those movies had their first watch pre-2019, when the first Bettes happened, and were thus never at all eligible for a Bette, some of them missing the cutoff by only a month or so. That should be corrected. Plus, this marathon was such a significant thing to me that I feel like it needed some recognition. Finally, reappraisals happen! Our opinions change. And so I decided to give the Universal Horror marathon movies a space to have their moment in the moonlight.

Format

Each category name will be in a larger font size; the Elsa categories will be clearly distinct. There may be a short description of the category, and then a list of the winners. Below that, I will talk a little about the various winners. Finally, there may be an honorary mention line.

And so—let's start!

Category Is: Biggest Surprise

Movies that I went into with low expectations and came away pleasantly surprised. They should have been bad movies, but they weren't!

Paranormal Activity 3 (2011)

Saw X (2023)

Five Nights At Freddy's (2023)

Paranormal Activity as a franchise is not good; the series is middling found footage movie one after another. (The entire found footage genre is low quality, low budget dreams with rare gems scattered thinly through it, let's be real.) PA3, however, has a very likeable protagonist, good scare effects, and some interesting use of the camera. Saw, as a series, is not one I am very partial to, and some of the later sequels are.... almost incomprehensible. I had absolutely no hope going into Saw X—and then walked out thinking it was one of the best horror movies of the year! How many franchises can say that the tenth installment is the definitive best one? Not many!

On the other hand...

Category Is: Biggest Disappointment

Movies I was excited to get to, often based on reputation, but which left me wanting much more.

The Goonies (1985)

30 Days of Night (2007)

As Above, So Below (2014)

WHY IS EVERYONE SHOUTING IN THE GOONIES THE WHOLE TIME? We were excited for baby Ke Huy Quan, but that movie was just a headache. As Above, So Below had so much potential and has a strong reputation, and it was the first movie that got permission from the French government to shoot in the legendary Parisian catacombs—and it's just a mid National Treasure kind of thing. Bleh.

Category Is: This Is Terrible; I Love It!

Eegah! (1962)

This award goes out to a very special movie that is absolutely unquestionably terrible, but I had great fun watching it. Usually I don't care much for "It's so bad it's good!" (usually it's Just Bad), but this truly takes the cake. This movie is about an ancient caveman that comes to life (the titular Eegah), and the young hip-for-the-50s-early-60s couple that he terrorises. Everything about this is wooden and flimsy. The dad self-financed this movie to push his son as an Elvis wannabe (including such lines as "I swear on my Elvis Presley EP!"), and... well, I don't think it was ever going to work out for them. There are bizarre musical interludes, some good jokes (*points to a cave painting* "This is from Grog's blue period.") But it's a trainwreck. I watched this with Elvira's Movie Macabre, and she had a field day too. It's an amazing time.

Category Is: I'm A Weirdo (Weirdest Movie)

Skinamarink (2023)

If you know, you know. This is by far the oddest little movie of 2023. It's supposed to be liminal horror, very soft and whispered and weird camera angles, and nightmare logic, a confused and buried plot... It's indescribable. Some people hated it; some people felt very seen by it. I feel like it's almost something of an ink blot test in movie form, where your brain either fills in the missing spaces with horror or it doesn't. Mine did not.

Category Is: Musical Pro-Shot/Concert Film

Over the course of the year, but especially in the second half, we got to see quite a few musicals (and a particular concert...) in the movie theatre. We are, of course, former musical theatre queens, and so we went to as many as we could.

Waitress (2023 Pro-Shot)

The Eras Tour (2023 Concert)

I fully cried through the entirety of the second act of Waitress. What fun and heartbreak that show is. And well, Miss Swift certainly does put on a show! The lighting design too was very impressive.

Category Is: Favourite Miyazaki

Starting in March, our theatre had a Ghibli Fest that led up to The Boy and The Heron being released in December. Each month, they'd play one or two Miyazaki movies, and we were very enthusastic about going!

Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (1984)

Spirited Away (2001)

Ponyo (2008)

Okay, the last two are also grandfathered in because I last saw them in like 2017/18. But all of these are delightful and incredible in different ways.

Category Is: Line Readings That Live In My Head Rent-Free

[Spooky Win] Eva Moore, The Old Dark House (1932) — "NO BEDS!! THEY CAN'T HAVE ANY BEDS!! NO BEDS!!"

Alan Rickman, Galaxy Quest (1999) — "By Grabthar's hammer, what a savings." / "By Grabthar's hammer, by the suns of Worvan, you shall be avenged."

Brittany Murphy, Riding In Cars With Boys (2001) — "My doightas a tramp! MY DOIGHTAS A TRAAAAMP!"

Kathy Bates, sort of, in the most roundabout way in Rat Race (2001) — "You shoulda bought a cocka-doodie squirrel!"

Mia Goth, Infinity Pool (2023) — "JAAAAAAMESYYYY" and "ATTENTION PEOPLE OF THE BUS"

Rosamund Pike, Saltburn (2023) — "Times New Roman."

Margot Robbie, Barbie (2023) — "I'm not a fascist! I don't control the railways or the flow of commerce!"

Brittany Murphy killed us with that line. Drew Barrymore's character wants to practice with Brittany Murphy, practice telling her parents that she's a pregnant teen. She tells Brittany, and... Brittany explodes, in the middle of the street, screaming at her. And she's like, well, you have to be ready for that!

The Kathy Bates one needs to be explained. So.... that is not a line that is spoken in the movie; it isn't even in the movie. It's a mutant phrase that we made up based on a similar line that is written down in Rat Race but filtered through her character in Misery (1991). That's just how we are!

Category Is: Favourite Wardrobe

Barbie (2023)

Truly, all of her outfits are amazing. My personal favourite is that look that she's wearing when she returns to Barbieland and finds that the Kens have taken over.

Category Is: Creature Design

Godzilla Minus One (2023)

There have been a lot of Godzillas over the decades. But this one? This one looked so cool, especially when it charges up to do its beam attack.

Category Is: Visual Aesthetic

Profondo Rosso (Deep Red) (1975)

Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)

Poor Things (2023)

I'm most interested in Poor Things here: I cannot ever get over those skies. Beyond that, the camera work, the design of the world, the clothes, it's all so specific and delightfully weird.

Category Is: Gayyyy

Movies that centre around being gay and gay experiences.

Carol (2015)

Eileen (2023)

Dante & Artistotle Discover The Secrets Of The Universe (2022)

Yay lesbians! We love them!

And now, to take a spooky detour into the Elsas—

Spooky Category Is: Directorial Achievement

James Whale: Frankenstein, The Old Dark House, The Invisible Man, The Bride of Frankenstein

Jack Arnold: It Came From Outer Space, The Creature From The Black Lagoon, Revenge of the Creature, Tarantula, The Incredible Shrinking Man, The Space Children, Monster on the Campus

Both of these directors were artists whose work I admired pretty much across the board. They have style, they have a point of view, and I would some day like to do deep dives on them!

Spooky Category Is: The Joan Crawford Award For Especial Awfulness

The Mummy's Tomb (1942)

Captive Wild Woman (1943)

I have only awarded The Joan Crawford once, to The Purge, because I hated it and its ideology so much. This year, I found two new Especially Awful movies to add to that list. Both of these movies truly made me question if I wanted to keep going with the Universal Horror marathon, they were that bad. The Paula the Ape Woman series (of which Captive Wild Woman is the first) in particular made me stop for a week because I lost faith in the process!

Spooky Category Is: Supporting Performance

Elsa Lanchester, The Bride of Frankenstein (1935)

Una O'Connor, The Bride of Frankenstein (1935) + The Invisible Man (1933)

O. P. Heggie, The Bride of Frankenstein (1935)

Ernest Thesiger, The Bride of Frankenstein (1935)

Boris Karloff, The Raven (1935)

Edward Van Sloan, Dracula (1931) + Dracula's Daughter (1936)

Eva Moore, The Old Dark House (1932)

Joan Weldon, Them! (1954)

Mara Corday, Tarantula (1955)

Joanna Moore, Monster on the Campus (1958)

I promise I did not make this category just for The Bride of Frankenstein!! I just have a lot of Feelings about that movie this year!! (I only named the entire subsection after Elsa Lanchester herself.)

Spooky Category Is: Lead Performance

Bela Lugosi, Dracula (1931) + The Raven (1935)

Claude Rains, The Invisible Man (1933)

Boris Karloff, The Bride of Frankenstein (1935)

Gloria Holden, Dracula's Daughter (1936)

Simone Simon, Cat People (1940)

Martin Kosleck, House of Horrors (1946)

Rondo Hatton, House of Horrors (1946)

Charles Laughton, The Strange Door (1951)

Lori Nelson, Revenge of the Creature (1955)

Grant Williams, The Incredible Shrinking Man (1957)

We were in Spirit Halloween this past October, and I remember looking up at a cardboard sign that had Boris Karloff's face, giant and in his monster look, which was glaring down at us. And it just struck me that some of these performances (Bela Lugosi and Boris Karloff in this category in particular) have just been iconic for literally a century. All the bad vampire impressions go back to Bela's Dracula. One of the most enduring monsters is Frankenstein's monster and the way Boris Karloff represented him. And I just think that's wonderful.

Spooky Category Is: Overall Favourites

The Phantom of the Opera (1925)

The Cat and the Canary (1927)

Dracula (1931)

The Old Dark House (1932)

The Invisible Man (1933)

The Bride of Frankenstein (1935)

The Raven (1935)

Cat People (1940)

Tarantula (1955)

The Incredible Shrinking Man (1957)

Many of these need no explanation: They are classics for a reason. What I do want to draw attention to is that there are two silent films on this list! I watched The Phantom of the Opera from 1925 with, I believe, the 1927 scoring, and it was simply wonderful, especially the very early-tech technicolour masquerade scene. Same with The Cat and the Canary, a silent spooky comedy that I loved. I've always been... interested? I suppose? In trying to get into silent films more and never really actually doing it. And the book that I was following just went straight into them. Sometimes you just have to do things!

Anyway, that's the end of the Elsas, which means we can get back to the main body of the Bettes and give out their big awards!

Category Is: Supporting Performance

Alan Rickman, Galaxy Quest (1999)

Brittany Murphy, Riding in Cars with Boys (2001)

Logan Lerman, Riding in Cars with Boys (2001)

Samantha Sloyan, Midnight Mass (2021)

Kerry Condon, The Banshees of Inisherin (2022)

Barry Keoghan, The Banshees of Inisherin (2022)

Dominique Blanc, L'Origine du mal (2023)

Ryan Gosling, Barbie (2023)

Rosamund Pike, Saltburn (2023)

Taraji P. Henson, The Color Purple (2023)

Danielle Brooks, The Color Purple (2023)

I'll admit, I was a little on the fence about Ryan Gosling a week ago—was he actually that good? But then we rewatched it, and yes, it's an excellent comedic side role; he did wonderfully.

Samantha Sloyan for Mike Flanagan's Midnight Mass was so good that I had to break my own rule about this being cinéma only and allow in a television series performance. (And let's be real, it's Netflix, the line has already been blurred extremely.)

But I really want to talk about Taraji and Danielle Brooks. Those two are just so so so wonderful. Taraji in that red look, when she's about to perform? That might be one of my favourite images of the whole year. And Danielle Brooks has such charm and such warmth; I'm not surprised they wanted her to come with the role after doing it on Broadway.

Category Is: Lead Performance

Judy Garland, The Clock (1945)

Michelle Yeoh, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)

Zhang Ziyi, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)

Rosamund Pike, Gone Girl (2014)

Cate Blanchett, Carol (2015)

Margot Robbie, Barbie (2023)

Marin Ireland, Birth/Rebirth (2023)

Judy Reyes, Birth/Rebirth (2023)

Lily Gladstone, Killers of the Flower Moon (2023)

Ryunosuke Kamiki, Godzilla Minus One (2023)

Emma Stone, Poor Things (2023)

I'm sorry, I could not get this down to ten. I actually started this list with TWENTY THREE that I wanted here! All of them are so deserving! And I could not cut it beyond these—I mean!! JUDY! Michelle and Zhang Ziyi! "I'm so much happier now that I'm dead, technically missing!" CATE! The Barbie herself! Our mad scientist and the most determined mother on the planet! Lily!! The most sad little meow meow who has ever had to stand up to Godzilla! And one of the best character performances I have ever seen!

And most of them are this year! What an amazing year of amazing performances.

Category Is: Favourite Horror

Scream 6 (2023)

Birth/Rebirth (2023)

Saw X (2023)

Five Nights At Freddy's (2023)

Hell House LLC Origins: The Carmichael Manor (2023)

Do you think I liked the new horror releases of 2023? Half of these I didn't even expect to like! I'm so happy especially that Hell House turned out well; we LOVE the first one and enjoy~tolerate the second and third, so we weren't quite sure how we'd feel about the fourth. But it's soooo good!

Category Is: Favourite Comedy

Galaxy Quest (1999)

You Hurt My Feelings (2023)

Barbie (2023)

Anyone But You (2023)

Poor Things (2023)

Okay, and 4/5 of these are 2023 too. We're both spooky and funny this year, I guess. Three of these actually came in the last month of the year for us—Anyone But You and Poor Things were December releases, and we didn't get to You Hurt My Feelings until December.

Category Is: Favourite Drama

Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (1984)

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)

Panic Room (2002)

Gone Girl (2014)

Godzilla Minus One (2023)

Well I guess this category is more "David Fincher thriller-dramas are my kind of thing" plus "Asian excellence."

Category Is: THE Favourites Of The Year

Birth/Rebirth (2023)

Poor Things (2023)

Godzilla Minus One (2023)

These three are my absolute tops of the year. I get so excited just thinking about them!

Birth/Rebirth is such a smart take on Frankenstein and has two incredible lead performances. It's wet and horrifying, it's funny, it's just perfect. Poor Things: Emma Stone is a revelation. She has such perfect physical comedy. The whole movie looks beautiful. And Godzilla is an incredible, moving epic with perfect emotion and a brilliant creature design to boot.

Anyway. Enough of that respectable stuff.

The Keanu Reeves Awards For Slutty, Slutty Film Men

For appearences that made yours truly filled with horny thoughts.

Keanu Reeves, Point Break (1991)

Early 90s Keanu showing full ass. I watched it on Valentine's Day just for Keanu and got THAT! I was delighted.

2. John Bromfield, Revenge of the Creature (1955)

I watched the Creature movies for the creature, of course.

3. Kyle MacLachlan, Showgirls (1995)

Had to edit the front-facing one because I was scared tumblr was going to flag it. But let's just say you can see some shaft.

4. Paul Mescal, Aftersun (2022)

He's just that that whole ass out, huh?

5. Ryan Gosling, Barbie (2023)

I remember when the first look at Barbie came out and people were being SO annoying about him and how he looks. And I think he looks delicious!

6. Simu Liu, Barbie (2023)

I would love to watch them beach off together, personally.

7. Josh Hutcherson, Five Nights At Freddy's (2023)

Whatever you say beautiful dot gif.

8. Barry Keoghan, Saltburn (2023)

The scene that shook the internet. Of course, there's more to see, if you know what I mean, but I'm not about to get this post flagged.

9. Glen Powell, Anyone But You (2023)

More like Anyone Butt You, am I right? He has a bit the credits where he just fully bent over. But I couldn't find that with a quick search. Alas!

Anyway. For realsies, if you made it this far, thank you for reading my word salad. These things always end up a little longer than I mean for them to. I am naturally verbose in writing and I was very excited about films for this year!