#everybody who sees this I need you to please read the notes the notes are SO FUNNY

[moonlightrafe]

Watermelon Sugar

summary: Family brunches are boring, Aegon makes them more fun.

pairing: Modern!Aegon Targaryen x Niece!Reader

word count: 1.9k

warnings: Explicit smut, alcohol consumption, incest in a modern setting (whoops), fingering, p in v sex, semi-public sex 18+ MDNI

note: This is a repost …. Feedback is appreciated!

The warm sun illuminated your skin as you reluctantly made your way over to your seat for brunch. Viserys had planned it — his own feeble attempt to bring your fractured family together, even if it was only for a brief moment. For the most part, it worked. Everyone tried to behave themselves, though gatherings like this usually ended in a confrontation of some sort.

Before you even arrived at your seat, you felt a hand wrap around your waist, tugging at the hem of your sundress.

"Whew! Who are you all dressed up for?"

Aegon asked as you batted his hand away, shooting him a look of disapproval.

There was an unspoken thing between the two of you, everybody knew it. However, you didn't need him pawing at your waist in front of the entire family.

"Charming as ever I see."

He flashed a grin at you in response; that boyish smile of his made you weak in the knees.

"Here," he handed you the mimosa that was in his hand, "you're going to need it," he whispered before making his way back to his own seat.

You kept your eye locked on him as he retreated to his designated spot. Noting that Aemond was muttering something to him as he sat down.

"What?" he retorted, "I can't say hi to our niece?" Turns out, Aemond wasn't the only one annoyed with Aegon's show of affection.

"You'd think he would know better than to encourage you to drink at this hour," your brother admonished you, nodding his head toward Aegon in annoyance.

"It's brunch, Jace," you say before taking a large sip of the mimosa, "live a little."

"Right. Because Aegon needs an excuse to drink at noon."

"Please," you pleaded, "don't start."

"I'm not," he huffed, before shoveling a forkful of eggs in his mouth, "I'm just saying."

Thankfully your brother's comments ended there and so far everything was going well. Lucerys was sat next to Daeron — as far away from Aemond as possible, which was key to any family event running smoothly. The two young boys were talking loudly about a video game. Your mother and Alicent were giggling amongst themselves, talking so low you couldn't decipher what they were saying. Aemond sat stoically in his seat, occasionally stealing a glance at Helaena, who was tapping aimlessly at her phone, playing some sort of trivia game that you could only assume had something to do with bugs.

Every so often Aemond would glare at you, and then at Aegon who was now three mimosas deep.

If you could make it through brunch peacefully, you would find yourself back at the keep with your family later that evening. And if you played your cards right, you'd get your claws into Aegon.

It didn't take long for you to figure out that family gatherings such as these served to be rather boring when there was no fighting involved.

Staring down at the plate of fruit in front of you, an idea popped into your head. Maybe you could make your own fun.

You plucked a piece of watermelon from the plate and took a small bite, allowing the juice to run down your chin onto your chest. Rubbing your thumb along your bottom lip, swirling the juice in a fake attempt to clean yourself up. Innocently glancing over at Aegon through your lashes. His eyes were fixated on your breasts, flicking them up to make direct eye contact as you began to suck on the fruit. His lips parted in anticipation as he watched you.

But, Aegon wasn't the only one watching, Aemond's eye was also locked on you. He was hard to read, but he looked disappointed by your actions. Feeling heated and a bit flustered you decide to go freshen yourself up.

"If you would excuse me, I’m going to go to the restroom," you announced to the table before making a beeline to the other side of the restaurant.

As you went to shut the door behind you, a hand shot through and Aegon made his way into the small space with you.

"What are you doing?!" You hiss.

"What am I doing?! What are you doing?" He spun you around and wrapped his arms around you tightly, pressing his bulge against your backside.

"What are you doing? Huh?" He repeated as he inhaled the sweet scent of your hair. A mixture of apple from your shampoo, and vanilla from your perfume.

"Gods, you're going to be the death of me," he groaned in your ear.

"This dress," he rasped, releasing his grasp on you to tug at the hem of it, "that little show you put on out there." His large hand came down and smacked your ass harshly, causing you to yelp.

Aegon wasted no time and lifted you up onto the marble counter with quickness, kissing you deeply.

Against your will, a moan escaped your lips.

Aegon took this as an okay to continue. Snaking his tongue into your mouth, pushing your legs apart so he could settle in between them.

He tasted so good — remnants of orange juice, champagne and a subtle hint of tobacco filled your senses. His hands dug into your thighs with such force, you were sure his rings were going to leave marks, but you didn't care. He nipped at your your neck and kissed down your chest, licking the sticky remnants of the watermelon juice from the valley of your breasts.

Once he made his way further down, he began to began to take his time. Lifting your dress slowly, the pads of his fingers ghosting your thighs. The anticipation was killing you.

"Mmm, Aeg. Please," you whined.

He chuckled at you and lifted your dress up, bunching it around your hips to reveal your underwear. He took a minute to admire the damp spot that was forming in the center, and you felt a slight blush form across your cheeks. His thick fingers finally made contact with your pussy, rubbing them against the thin, lacy, material of your panties. He looped his fingers through the sides and quickly ripped them down your legs, exposing you to the cool air. He took no time to slide his fingers through your folds, gathering your slick.

"Oh look at you," he purred appreciatively, "so naughty, baby."

A loud moan erupted from your chest as he used his index finger to slowly trace around the opening of your cunt, each swipe had you silently begging he would slip it inside.

That devilish grin of his flashed across his face once more as he looked up at you.

"Don't get desperate on me now. l've barely even touched you. Gotta keep quiet, huh baby?"

A simple nod in response was all you were able to give him.

"Good girl" he drawled as he pushed his finger into you.

"Fuck, Aeg. Feels s'good," you whispered.

His tongue darted out to lick his lips as he began to move his hand faster, adding a second finger in. The pleasure was so overwhelming you forgot where you were. In a cramped, unisex bathroom, with your entire family seated at a table not too far away from the door.

All you cared about was that you wanted more, no, needed more. You squirmed against him, trying to get his fingers deeper into you.

He took the hint and obliged. Pressing them harder into you, pumping in and out with vigor.

He used the calloused pad of his thumb to push violently against your clit. He reached the spongy spot within your walls and pressed firmly into it, his free hand pushing down on your stomach as he continued to thrust his fingers. Occasionally scissoring them, stretching you out even more. It soon became too much for you. You felt your stomach drop and your walls tighten as your cunt squeezed around his digits.

"Thereee she is," he sing-songed. That's it, good girl."

He continued to fuck you with his fingers through your orgasm. Your ears rang, your vision blurred and white-hot electricity pumped through your veins. When he finally removed his fingers from your pussy he brought them up to your mouth, watching with bright eyes as you sucked your release off them, pushing them down your throat causing you to gag a little.

Releasing his fingers from your mouth you shimmied off the bathroom counter, fumbling to unbuckle Aegon's pants.

"Uh uh, baby. We will have time for me later. We have brunch to get back to.

As eager to please you as he was, Aegon was not one to usually turn down his own pleasure. You were unsure if he was being serious, or if he just wanted to hear you beg for it.

"Aeg, please."

He didn't need anymore convincing.

"Put your hands on the counter," he demanded as he spun you around. Unbuckling his belt, sliding his jeans and boxers down his legs with quickness; allowing his already hard cock to spring free and slap against his stomach. Lifting your leg before shoving himself between your folds. You groaned and tried to push yourself closer to him. He let out a laugh and smacked your ass, causing you to jolt forward.

"Be still," he growled.

You nodded your head eagerly, the palms of your hands resting against the cold marble. He filled you to the hilt with one single thrust, spearing you open.

As he began to move in and out of you, his hands tugged at your hips. "Oh, fuck!" you mewled loudly before his palm slapped over your mouth to keep you quiet.

He leaned over you, panting with his breath hot on your ear.

"What would Jace think," he whispered, venom in in his voice, "knowing that his precious little sister is a whore for my cock, huh?" You bit down your lip and squeezed your eyes shut, trying not to cum for a second time from his lewd words.

"Or Aemond?" he taunted, "our prim and perfect niece bent over for me like a dirty little slut."

Agon bit down hard on your shoulder, his teeth grazing your skin, causing you to moan and arch your back, meeting his thrusts. He makes direct eye contact with you in the mirror as he continued to pound into you.

"Oh, you like that, huh? You like being my dirty little slut?" You nodded your head feverently, the walls of your cunt contracting, sucking him in.

"You gonna cum again for me baby? Gonna make a mess on my cock?"

"Fuck, yes. I'm gonna cum! Aegon, please, please make me cum."

Your nails dug into the counter as he fucked into you, the head of his cock pressed against your sweet spot with precision. He reached up, grabbing your breast, pinching your nipple roughly, pushing you over the edge one final time.

Your second orgasm washed over you with such intensity, it was almost painful. Your cunt squeezed around Aegon's cock, threatening to pull his own release from him.

"Shhh, that's it, there you go," he cooed. With a few more harsh thrusts against your cervix, his cock twitched inside you, pearly ropes of him coating your walls.

You could feel his heart beating through his chest, as his breathing slowed down. He kissed your neck and nuzzled his head inyour hair before quickly pulling out of you, immediately pulling his pants back up.

"Holy fuck," you breathed as he handed you back your underwear.

Whatever train of thought you had was interrupted by a knock.

"We're leaving! And you guys are assholes!”

Aemond's voice called from the other side of the door.

The two of you burst out laughing before making your way out of the bathroom.

[shaisuki]

❝ LOOSE ENDS. ❞

✞ FEATURING. BULLY! GOJO SATORU AND GETO SUGURU

▶ SERIES MASTERLIST

CONTENT WARNINGS. college au + heavy bullying + gaslighting + noncon + dubcon + implied sexual assault + allusions to depression/suicide + alcohol consumption + drinking + implied drugging + fatphobia + overdosing + naoya zen'in is an asshole + humiliation + threats + minor oc character + DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT.

NOTES. this might come as disappointing since some of you wanting revenge what this two idiots had done to reader. there are some matters that i think is too complicated and impossible so i came with this way as the breaking point where reader starts to retaliate/plan her revenge. will get to it later and to that anon, who asked for the revenge, i will get once i start to finish this one up. please read the warnings, i don't want someone bitching in the comments telling me that the contents above is uncool. it truly is not cool. that's why it have warnings. it is on a fictional context. do read the warnings before continuing. also do let me know of what you think of this chapter.

SYNOPSIS . you let them take and take what they can from you. you were a nobody after all but everybody have their breaking point.

the world is a blur to you. colors of red and blue dances in your vision while voices whispers to you. what's happening? you can't move. it's like your body were made of lead. you can't understand what they were saying. multiple faces stares at you, are you dead? is this what you see when people surround you while they lower your casket. is it? you hope it was, cause you didn't plan on living anymore. there's nothing worth moving forward and the world around you turns black.

there's a beep and then silence. you hear before you see and when you opened your eyes, all you can see is a bright light above you. it took you minutes to adjust your vision and realize where you are. you're in a hospital. laying on a bed and you started to get irritated at your oxygen mask. you tug at it. getting frustrated why it keeps coming back at you before someone put their hand on it. completely removing it and there you breath. your sight darted to the hand who helped you until your sight travels to his arms and then to his face. a brief recognition flashes through you.

“nanami?” you call his name unsure but you know it was definitely him. it was hard to mistake him for someone. there's his blonde hair, neatly parted. his pristine beige sweater paired a dark colored trouser, not a crinkle in sight and his signature silver watch in his wrist. you met him once at the literature club and decided you were going to be there too not until it changed due to some circumstances. his lips parted but before he can speak, a cheery voice interrupted him.

“she's awake!?” said haibara, you also knew him since he and nanami were always together. seeing your confused state, his voice died down. “what happened?” you asked them and they exchanged looks before haibara answers you.

“we found you passed out in the lawn. thought you were drunk but you weren't breathing.” haibara's voice was soft while he slowly breaks down the reason why you ended up here.

a doctor comes inside to your room before haibara can finish. you took note of her pristine white coat with her surname embroidered on it. clicking her pen and whipping out her clipboard she pulled out of nowhere. you were distracted by it. the doctor's eyes is on you now and you began to frown.

the doctor coughs clearing her throat before speaking. “hello, ms. (y/n). i'm glad you're awake now.” noticing your confused expression she pauses began answering the question. “to answer your question you were unconscious for two days and is brought for possible assault. we need your con—”

“no!”

“ms. it would help for you t—”

“you heard me!? i said no!” you scream at the doctor and your tears appeared in your eyes. you didn't realize you were screaming. nanami and haibara stand there in silence but the looks on their face said otherwise. concern painted in their faces and the doctor bows before leaving. looking at the men inside in your room to call her if you need anything.

cause if they would test you, they would find the remains of their sperm inside you and then report? who will believe you? it would be buried like the case of another girls like you who were too afraid nor fight their abusers. you don't find the point of that. they would twist the words out of you. it was easy to believe than you.

you curled up in bed and did the next thing you can. cry. now, you're in here and the events before this plays in your head in repeat.

“f-fuck”

satoru curses out while suguru bites your ear. your body like jello as they spilled their load for the nth that day. both of them lowered your body after fucking your brains out. warm up, they say. you shiver as you feel their cum running down your thighs. feeling disgusted as it began to stick after being exposed to the air. you grab the wipes but suguru stopped you, grabbing it from your hands and cleaning you up. fixing your skirt in the meantime.

“worth every penny.” suguru mutters. staring at the new clothes they bought for you. a baby blue corseted puff-sleeved, square neck top matched with a black skirt that rests on your mid thigh is what they forced you to wear. it feels tight. intentionally buying it one size smaller than you usually wore and it more feel you like a stuffed sausage rather a comfortable piece of clothing. you can't say no to what they wanted. you're a bit of grateful that they allowed you to wear your white sneakers rather than those kitten heels that would put your feet in blisters.

satoru's fingers brushes through the expanse of your exposed flesh. playing with the small bow in your top. sighing, “suguru, can we have more with (y/n)-chan?” his best friend chuckles at him. “idiot, we're already running late, after that we can.” satoru pouts. “tch, party pooper.” he ignores gojo and moves his attention to you.

“smile, this is your first real party. you're going to enjoy this.” suguru lifts your chin up with his finger and you obediently nodded. “ditch and you know what will happen.” he warns.

it was a bad idea. the moment you stood in the front door. the party was already in motion. you can hear the people inside shouting profanities and booming music mixed with already drunk frat members and student bodies. this was never really your crowd and when you were shoved inside with gojo and geto you were done and you already felt like crying. you look at the duo in front of you. they were already engaged in conversation with the other people here.

“gojo, you son of a bitch. you fucking came.” a guy hollered in the side and you see more of his features as he gets nearer. a snarl in his face with multiple piercings in his ear. a hair dyed blonde with green accents.

“ah, zen’in. wouldn't missed this just i could wipe that smirk off your face.” gojo mocks him and before the guy whom gojo called zen’in darts his sight to you. he raises a brow. “you two in fat bitches now?” pointing at you with hand cupping a plastic cup. gojo scoffs. “none of your business, zen'in.” glaring at him but he can't see that gojo's looking at him with dark glasses in the way. “then you two wouldn't mind me using her.” he suggested and suguru gaze darkens at him. “fuck off, naoya.” almost growling at naoya and the latter raises his hand in mock defeat before finding shit he could entertain himself with.

suguru scowls after naoya left, he looks at you like you just turned his mood sour. “you're an embarrassment.” he says and you bit your lip. keeping the tears at bay and you don't really want to embarrass yourself more at this party. “hey, hey suguru.” gojo taps his shoulder. “let loose, don't naoya get to you.” satoru glances at you. his blue eyes peering in his glasses. “you're right.” his stare cold at you. “find a seat, (y/n). you're embarrassing us now with you around.” you nod and you find yourself in a vacant corner. near to those already wasted or just plain chilling in the couch in front of you.

what did you expect? that were all sex talk or when they're in good mood. all those praise and compliments are just enough to feel you good about yourself for a bit and then they'll come destroying it. you stare at the view through the window. the night's particularly beautiful and peaceful except the place you're in and you're already missing the comfort of your bed.

you take a sip from your cup. a girl gave it you earlier saying that it's a special concoction that's only made at this parties. unsure you took it. not wanting to show ungratefulness to someone whose only been polite to you and she seems nice. you cringe slightly at the taste and the burning of the liquid as it flows down your throat. coughing you bring down the cup, not used to drinking.

your first time being a party, your eyes wander how your peers lost their selves in the influence of alcohol. some where dancing and mingling. talking like they were friends and you caught of others taking their business upstairs. you were kind of jealous how everyone are the life of the party and you sit here in your misery. you continue to observe everyone and you caught gojo. it's impossible to miss his tall stature and his white hair standing in the crowd. a petite woman is linked to him. her thin arms are wrapped around his neck and it was clear what they were doing. there they stood in the crowd. kissing.

“satoru.” gojo was taking a swig of his drink when a girl approached him. calling his name like they were lovers but it was more like an ex-fling. never had a relationship with her. she was only a temporary fun. “ah, sar—ah, sayuri.” he almost curses at himself. sayuri playfully pouts at him and there it is, the batting of eyelashes. “that's mean, satoru. you already forgot me.” her lips puckers before placing a hand in his chest. if this was a another party of gojo and he really liked this girl. he would have taken her upstairs. he caught you in the corner. you were like a child in awe at the people in this house. gojo almost chuckles at your cute antics but suppressed it and then a cruel idea pops in his mind. “missed me?” he asks sayuri and there was no answer needed as he crashes his lips to sayuri. his sight never leaving yours and when you caught him. he watch as your eyes widens, you lower your head in embarrassment before chugging that drink in your cup in one swig. he smirks in the kiss as he watches you wiped your tears away. he always liked making you cry.

you should have ditched this stupid party, even it means getting punished by those again. you were hurt. they always like to torture you. listen as they tell you how worthless and unlovable you are while they keep girls who are clearly not you by their side. those girls were perfectly fit for them to be seen in public and you were there for them to humiliate you. with your head lowered, you stifled a sob. wiping your tears with your hands shaking. they kept flowing and you kept messily wiping them and with that you slowly made your way outside. discreetly making your way through the door and you almost laugh. you were a nobody. you're not made for pretty things and this goddamn outfit you wore only added to your misery. you never felt beautiful and it looks ugly on you. wrapped a sausage with a different and it will still look the same.

no one noticed you leaving except for suguru's watchful gaze.

suguru finds his friend making out with a girl he definitely doesn't remember. suguru slaps his back and satoru broke the kiss. wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and ignores the girl he was just making out seconds ago. suguru points the door where you left earlier. you're really looking for trouble and with that they left following you.

sayuri was stunned being shoved aside again. she was angry. how the fuck did you get those two's attention especially gojo's? she's beautiful. she's thin. academically excelling and you, a fat nobody bitch easily made those two fall for you. she knows they were just playing at you and sayuri could take it but being shoved again by satoru isn't what she expected tonight. she's going to be satoru's bride. it was decided from the start and satoru knows it. their fathers friends since their college days had made a decision to marry their son and daughter before they were even born and she did everything she can just to have satoru's attention but why can't she even get to look at her without her trying. it's your fault. it's your fucking fault! you deserve to die. you're fucking stupid for accepting that drink like you're a fucking saint and now, maybe you'll rethink your choices of making those your own and satoru will only have his eyes for her and only her.

weird. why are your hands sweating? it's cold. freezing cold. you know this temperature at night is normal but why are you freezing cold. hah, your vision's starting to get funny too. where there always stars in the sky? ahh, i want to go home. i wonder if akira's still awake. i didn't told her that i was going away tonight. my eyes hurt. you were crying. this was your thoughts as you walked away.

it was to easy to catch you with their long strides. satoru grabs your flabby arm angrily. “we told you, you don't leave without us. do you really want to get punished, (y/n)-chan?” his voice snarky as he digs his nails in your arms. it hurts. it really must really hurt but you're suddenly numb to feel anything. you just stare at him in confusion and then you hear voices. they were calling them to get back.

gojo scowls at them. your knees buckled and you sat in the ground. geto tsked. “we're going back to you later.” he says and they left you there and there were loud cheers. you lay there in the ground. numb and your vision fades away.

you blinked as you stare in the nothingness. that's what you last remembered. they left you there and you hoped you died. you can't take another bullshit of what they put you through. the tears continuously flows from your eyes and your blanket is wet with tears. haibara puts a comforting hand in your shoulder and you bursted crying again. this was the real kindness you felt since the accident. they didn't blame you. they only stayed and made sure you were resting enough. stranger they maybe or an acquaintance. you would never forget this kindness from them.

days. nights. you stayed in the hospital until you were cleared. you made nothing of what happened to you. putting it in the records as an allergic reaction in which the hospital agreed. just like that even when you're in the brink of death of what happened to you. if you took the procedure for assault. they would be guilty but it was days old now and bruises are left in your skin as nothing but reminders of the humiliation of what they did to you.

for now, you're going to cry. cry until there's nothing left to cry for.

[flowersforthemachines]

Some facts about Bellara (and also the Veil Jumpers, and other random Elven things) gathered from the banters

I went through all companion banters on DanaDuchy's channel after playing the game to write down all facts about companions/the world that I haven't seen brought up anywhere in the game as a writing reference (and for funsies).

Note: This list may not be exhaustive. I might have missed some something or didn't write it down because I considered it common knowledge. If you have anything to add, please DM me or send an ask! (do specify what banter the information is coming from, though)

Note 2: Posts from this series (mostly) don't include information from banters specific to quests or between companions and faction members. I plan to do another playthrough to capture more of those and will add any relevant info to the character posts.

Other characters' posts: Davrin, Harding, Lucanis, Emmrich, Neve, Taash. I'm also planning a post about just the Lighthouse some time later

About Bellara

Family and past:

Bellara’s mother is a woodworker who sells furniture in Orlais, and her father is an herbalist. He taught her about deadly plants (for her own safety)

Bellara didn’t tell her parents about Cyrian’s (second) death

Bellara once broke both of her arms while racing an Aravel 

Bellara learnt magic from her Keeper and later the Veil Jumpers, but she also studied a lot on her own by reading books and just trying things out

When she was little, Bellara wondered what it’s like to settle down instead of moving all the time (just like Davrin did) 

General:

Bellara can better focus on writing when she has background noise (like Rook talking)

Bellara likes tea (but can also drink coffee after she pulls an all-nighter, which seems to happen pretty often)

Bellara liked Lucanis’s grilled fish

Bellara didn’t know any Qunari recipes before joining the Veilguard

Bellara wouldn’t want to be an assassin, but she would be interested in taking lessons from Crows about assassination techniques

Bellara thinks that most people in Tevinter are condescending, even the nice ones 

Magic and life with the Veil Jumpers: 

Bellara once found an artifact that was basically an ancient elven mechanical toothbrush 

Bellara is a Veil Jumper because Arlathan is her home, and she can’t stand by and do nothing. Also, because of the artefacts

Part of the reason why Irelin and Bellara broke up is that Bellara became too consumed by studying/fixing artefacts 

Bellara and Davrin agree that the Veil Jumpers’ odds are even worse than the Wardens’

Bellara thinks that the ancient Elven magic feels cold

Bellara didn’t find anything on the Devouring Storm in the libraries or Circles. Vorgoth and Myrna never heard of it either 

Life at the Lighthouse: 

Bellara owns a bronze candleholder shaped like a fennec

Bellara thinks that the Fade in the Lighthouse is almost too calm compared to Arlathan

Bellara likes her space in the Lighthouse and feels like “it's been waiting for her”

The Archive sometimes stares at people who come by

Bellara eventually suggests that she and Lucanis completely take over the cooking. Everybody except for Harding dreaded any meal not cooked by them anyway and gleefully agreed

Antoine let Bellara borrow his compound for flaming arrows to see how it reacts in the Fade (she doesn’t speak about the results, but she used at least one compound for testing without incidents and later wants to borrow more) 

Relationships with companions: 

Bellara offers Davrin to listen about his findings regarding the Gloom Howler as he searches for the missing griffons, saying she's a good listener

Bellara asks Neve if she can become a Shadow Dragon and is very excited when she hears “Yes”

However, when Emmrich offers her to join the Mourn Watch, she turns him down saying that the Veil Jumpers need her. 

A writing inconsistency. Probably. 

Neve once saw Bellara poking around Assan, trying to figure out if he was real or some clever mechanical contraption 

Bellara wants to make pillows out of Assan’s molted feathers (but Davrin refuses because he finds it weird)

Bellara made dog biscuits for Assan (that Davrin accidentally ate the first time). The next time she brought a batch, she left them in a box labelled “Assan biscuits inside, do not eat.” Assan liked them!

Bellara once covered Assan in olive oil thinking it could improve his wind resistance and let him fly faster. Didn’t work. 

Bellara offers Emmrich to co-author a paper about ancient elves after they find out elves came from spirits

Bellara asks Emmrich about vampires multiple times. According to him, when a Hunger Demon possesses a corpse, the resulting abomination can seek out blood, sort of resembling a vampire. They can't turn into bats though

According to Neve, some magisters in Minrathous have tried bonding with Hunger Demons which resulted in them having immense power but also a craving for blood 

Bellara and Harding swap books for reading

Bellara gets into lifting using Harding's rocks

Bellara doesn’t think she needs to threaten Lucanis when she finds out he and Neve are dating because Neve could wipe the floor with him herself if she wanted (Lucanis agrees) 

Bellara is fine with Lucanis taking on Ghilan’nain’s contract (“Whatever we were worshipping, it wasn’t her") and cheered him on at Weisshaupt

Bellara asks Neve to beta-read her story

(If Neve and Rook are in romance) Bellara thinks that solving cases together is romantic

(If Neve leaves after Rook chooses to save Treviso) Bellara kept notes of everything that happened while Neve was away to help her adjust after she’s back

About the Veil Jumpers:

Bellara mentioned that a certain elf camped in some ruins, and one day woke up stuck in the clouds. The Veil Jumpers haven’t figured out a way to get them down, so they just send them food and water

Veil Jumpers use some of the artefacts they have recovered as weapons. However, they don’t use them often, since most of them need to be charged after one use, and nobody really knows how to do that 

Veil Jumpers eat whatever Arlathan Forest provides

Though Bellara also mentions she doesn’t forage in the forest anymore. Strife does, however, he always finds something edible

It’s hard to say how many Veil Jumpers are out there because people die/go missing/leave too often to keep a proper count

The Veil Jumpers once found an artefact that caused whoever activated it to get sucked into the Fade. One guy got trapped inside because he used it even if the others told him not to. Bellara is weirdly nonchalant about that whole thing

The Veil Jumpers once found something like an entrance to the Deep Roads on the Southern Edge of Arlathan Forest. The group that found it sealed themselves inside and destroyed the entrance, leaving a note telling the others not to enter. Davrin hypothesises it could be one of the pools similar to the one we saw in the Horrors of Hormak

Ritsivas from the Veil Jupmers is non-binary (mentioned by Harding in a conversation with Taash)  

Misc:

The power crystals are called “June'suledin'bellanaris'ena'ghilan'lasa'shiral”. You may infer the reasons everybody just calls them 'power crystals'

Not all traps in Elven ruins were originally meant to be traps, but their magic is old, so it doesn’t recognise modern people and can backfire. And sometimes magic just degrades over time and accidentally rips the Veil, summoning demons

Andruil’s Gauntlet is an ancient site meant to test hunters who want to wield the mightiest weapons. It’s filled with traps, and no one has made through it in ages. It was made by Andruil’s priests to test the warriors of Elvhenan 

Clans Nuvenis and Sabrae live in Ferelden. Harding’s village traded with the Sabrae in the past

[heli-writes]

A dragon's heart, part 12.

Pairing: Barbarian!Bakugou Katsuki x female!reader

Summary: The dragonblood tribe is known for being cruel, barbarian warriors that slaughter, loot and rape all places they pass through. They are feared among the villagers and even bigger cities. Having lost most of their women to a plague, they're trying to ensure their tribe's survival by kidnapping women from other places. However, they're not the only monsters in human form out there. When y/n experiences this first hand, she has no choice but to ask for help from no other but the barbarian leader Katsuki Bakugou himself.

Disclaimer: mentions of injuries, rape and abuse, mentions of breeding, marking, nsfw, smut, oral sex, fingering, vaginal sex

[Please don't read if you are sensible to or triggered by the topics mentioned above.]

Minors do not interact.

Note: Took a while to finish this. I found the last part especially hard to write so I put it off for weeks. But voilá, it's finally here!

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13

Series Masterlist

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Axiety. It's what curses Katsuki's veins right now. After he left his mother at the war tent, he went ahead and took a look at his injured men. Some of them might never mount a dragon again. That already made him restless. He feels like ever since he became chief, things have gone bad. They need a win soon. His men can't lose morale. It won't benefit the tribe and they'll also maybe get some bad ideas. His mother stepped down as a chief voluntarily, but Katsuki is sure that the rest of the tribe would have forced her if she didn't. It's easy to blame the leadership when things go wrong. Even if some things are out of the chief's control.

That's when y/n crosses his mind. He has forgotten about her ever since Kirishima walked into his tent. Maybe she can be his win, a way to boost morale among his men and a way to strengthen his position. If y/n was to carry a healthy, happy baby, Katsuki and her could lead an example for the rest of the tribe. To show them that there is a future. After today's events, he's sure that he's making the right decision taking y/n on as a mate. He fully trusts her to become a good partner, a good mother. He'll do everything in his might to ensure the tribe's and y/n's future. She won't ever have to go back to the men who hunted her like an animal.

His heart feels heavy and full when he makes his way back to his tent. He can't wait to pull y/n into his arms, to feel her soft warm frame pressed against him. It's what he needs right now. 

Surely, y/n must have returned by now. She was angry earlier but he hasn't experienced y/n to hold a grudge for too long. Also, it's gotten dark and cold. That must've driven her back home as well.

When he enters his tent, it lies in darkness and silence. He stares into the black of the tent, listening expectantly. Y/n's not here. His heart starts to pump harder, blood cursing faster through his veins than just a few minutes ago. He can hear an unsettling whooshing in his ears. 

Y/n's gone.

It takes a moment for the realization to sink in. Then, he turns around on his feet exiting his tent swiftly. In front of the entrance, he stops in his tracks. His first instinct is to find Kirishima. Get him to assemble a search party, get everybody moving to find her.

It's a bad idea. He and y/n have to lead as an example. How can he prove to his men that they can find a mate outside of the tribe that loves and accepts them if his own mate runs off in the middle of the night? No, the others can't find out. Especially his mother. He can already see the triumph in her eyes telling him 'I've told you so'. He must find her alone.

But where could she possibly have gone to? She doesn't know anybody or anything around here. A cold chill runs down his back. She wouldn't have tried to leave, would she? That would be incredibly stupid of her. She can't survive in these mountains. Especially not without appropriate gear. But that didn't stop her before. 

Katsuki thinks back to when y/n took off the day after getting injured by these men with bows and arrows. Back then, she also was stupid enough to think that she could wander off in the forest on her own. And now she was angry, furious even. With heavy emotions like that clouding her logical thinking, it wouldn't surprise Katsuki if she got the bright idea of running off. He can already picture her angry, pouting face in his mind. 

Shit. He needs to find her. 

First of all, Katsuki tries to search the settlement inconspicuously just to make sure he's not setting off a false alarm. He's glad that most of the tribe already settled into their tents for the night. While he wanders through the settlement, he's getting more anxious with each passing second. Scenarios of y/n getting torn apart by a pack of wolves, of y/n falling down a hillside and other deadly things fill his inner eye.

When he can't find her in the settlement, he decides he must scout out the area surrounding the tribe's village of tents. Considering she's on foot, she can't have made it very far. In this darkness, she must've laid to rest somewhere. Tonight's new moon, so it's especially dark tonight. Out there, you can't see your hand infront of your own eyes. She must wait to continue her journey by sunrise.

It's best to look for her on the back of his dragon, he decides. He can cover more ground and the Drami's improved eyesight and smell will help them to find y/n quickly. So, he sets way to the stables. He already knows Drami won't be too happy about him waking her up. He walks quickly through the gore to the dragon's den. The other dragons ignore him, some bow their heads in respect. There's even the small green one that hasn't been tamed yet. It scurries away at the sight of Katsuki.

Only his torch illuminates the den upon entering. The dragons inside seem to be asleep. „Drami!“, he calls out to his dragon almost softly. He doesn't want to evoke the great red's rage. „Drami!“, he calls out again, this time a bit louder. Then, the big red dragon moves. It stretches its long hind legs and raises its heavy head.

„We need to find y/n, c'me on!“, Katsuki tells the dragon.

The dragon snarls at him and huffs hot air into his face. Katsuki rolls his eyes.

„Yeah, I know it's late. That's why we need to find her quickly.“, he points out.

The dragon stares at him intently. Katsuki is not sure what she's trying to tell him. „What?“, he asks shrugging. The dragon shifts again, lifting its heavy wing up, revealing y/n. Katsuki's eyes almost bulge out of his head. What on earth is she doing here? Almost at the same time, relief floods his veins. She's safe. When Katsuki wants to rush to the woman's side, a claw-studded paw cuts in between him and y/n. 

Katsuki's head jolts up. „What?“, he asks the dragon again. Drami looks angry now. A deep rumble curses through the dragon's throat. It snaps at Katsuki leaving behind a loud cracking sound when its upper and lower teeth clash against each other. Katsuki jumps back just in time to not get crushed in between the dragon's large jaw.

„Hey!“, he barks at the dragon, „What the fuck are you doin'?“

The dragon rises to its full height filling out the den completely. Y/n slides off its tummy and awakes in a rough manner. Disorientedly she looks around. Meanwhile, the dragon shifts into an intimidating stance looking angrily at Katsuki.

„What are you angry about?“, Katsuki yells grasping y/n's attention.

The dragon curls its tail around y/n in a protective manner. Katsuki doesn't fail to catch onto that.

„Is this about y/n? Fuck, it's not my fault that dumbass ran away?“, he defends himself in front of his dragon. Y/n awkwardly watches the scene in front of her. Somehow, she feels content. Seems as if the dragon is about to put Katsuki into his place. Good.

The dragon snaps at him again and Katsuki quickly moves out of its way. „Don't fuck with me, Drami. It's not funny! I didn't do anything!“, he yells at the dragon.

Suddenly, another rumble goes through the red dragon's throat and then there's electricity in the air. Katsuki's eyes widen. She's not about to...? Not in here! The fire would burn all of them. He can see an orange colour light up in the dragon's throat. Shit!, he thinks. Instinctively, he jumps over the dragon's tail and covers y/n's body with his own.

As quickly as the electricity becomes palpable in the air, as quickly it fades again. Y/n peeks through Katsuki's arms and sees the dragon staring at them intensely. Katsuki shifts, facing the dragon again. He sighs in relief. He absolutely believes Drami would go through with such an action. If a dragon doesn't deem a human worthy of their trust anymore, they more often than not kill them.

„You crazy fuck,“, he tells the dragon standing up and shaking his head. In return, the dragon growls at him

„I get it ok, I haven't been a good mate. I let her slip away.“, he continues. The dragon continues to stare at him angrily.

Katsuki raises his arms in defeat, then drops them again. „What do you want me to say? I didn't keep an eye on her. She could've died, yes. But she was safe with you, wasn't she?“

A rustling sound goes through the red's throat. It moves its head closer to Katsuki and presses its nose against his chest. Katsuki stares back with the same intensity. Then he sighs in defeat.

„Thank you for taking care of her. I'll be better, I promise.“, he tells her and the dragon gives him one more intense stare before settling into a laying position again. The smaller red dragons, which fled the bigger one the moment they sensed its anger, return to its side again.

Y/n doesn't know what Katsuki tells the dragon but it's clear he almost shits his pants. She finds that rather satisfying. Even if the red dragon almost fried her in the process. Quickly, she scrambles onto her feet. She must've fallen asleep somewhen but she's wide awake now.

Katsuki turns to her taking a long look at her. There doesn't seem to be a scratch on her. His instinct tells him to walk up to her, shake her and yell at her for being stupid. He can't believe she ran off and walked straight into dragon territory. She can be lucky Drami protected her. If she was unlucky, one of the other dragons could've seen a convenient snack in her that walked straight into their mouth. Considering what happened earlier, that's probably a bad idea though. Y/n was already pissed and it's better to reconcile than to argue. Especially, since Katsuki decided to ignore his mother's disapprovement. 

Katsuki walks up to y/n and takes her hand. He puts it over his heart and presses it softly. „Don't you dare leave again.“, he tells her. Then, more softly, he adds: „I need you. I was worried.“

Y/n looks up at him. At first, her face looks clueless as it usually does when she doesn't understand him. Then, she harshly pulls her hand away. She's still angry at him. Don't you think a few soft words will make me forget what has happened today, she thinks. 

Without looking at him, she stomps past him exiting the den. Katsuki swirls around and immediately catches up to her. Outside the den, he gets a hold of her wrist and pulls a bit too harshly. Y/n is swirled around. She stops herself inches in front of his chest. Quickly, she brings an arm's length distance between them, as far as her arm allows her to. Katsuki keeps a tight grip on her wrist.

„Where the fuck do you think, you're doing?“, Katsuki growls at her. Y/n looks at him with fire in her eyes.

„Let go of me, asshole!“, she yells at him pulling at her wrist. She doesn't care how loud she is or if she wakes up one of the dragons. How dare he act like this? Maybe a few days prior she would've mistaken Katsuki's attitude for concern, but knowing what she knows now, she's sure it's possessiveness. She can't stand that. Considering what Nadia says, that's all that women are in this place. She refuses to become Katsuki's possession, to let him push her around like that. He either accepts her as an equal or he doesn't get to have her at all.

Stunned, Katsuki lets go of her hand. He already notices some dragons shift in the darkness. Y/n crosses her arms in front of her chest. She doesn't really know where she's going with this. She doesn't want to argue with Katsuki. So far, he has been good to her. Today's been not good, but at the end of the line, he didn't treat her badly. The ceremony this morning went badly but Katsuki didn't lash out his anger at her, only at his furniture. While she doesn't understand where exactly his anger comes from, she shares the sentiment. 

It's been frustrating. Clearly, it's been frustrating to both of them and that Katsuki doesn't seem to have much control over his anger is something y/n noticed before. And despite what Nadia said, he didn't put his hands on her. He even wanted to protect her from the great red's fire. Y/n knows that if the dragon had gone through with it, Katsuki would've been burned to crisps. He was ready to sacrifice himself for her. Katsuki must value her more than he lets on.

Y/n sighs and rubs her face. She tries to calm herself. In contrast to Katsuki, she has more control over her anger. Katsuki watches her intently. He doesn't want to argue with her either. He's frustrated and worried and he doesn't know how to make y/n understand how important she is. To him. To his people.

He tries to take a step towards her when a growl and a pair of red glowing eyes appear right behind her. It's the small green dragon from earlier. Katsuki stops in his tracks. This dragon is untamed which means that it is unpredictable. 

„Don't move.“, he wispers and hopes that y/n understands.

Apparently, y/n didn't hear him, or rather didn't understand him but she slowly moves around staring right into the green one's eyes. Fear starts pulsing in her veins again. At the same time, the anger that's been trying to push down bubbles up again. 

Seriously? As if I don't have enough problems, I've got to deal with this thing again?, she thinks angrily.

„Y/n.“, Katsuki says calmly. They can't make a wrong move right now. His mind flickers back to Drami in the den. He's sure she must sense the green one by now. He just hopes she isn't too offended by earlier to help them if necessary.

Y/n ignores Katsuki. She continues to stare into the green's eyes intently. She holds its gaze. She's not going to back down. It's probably stupid to pick a fight with a dragon but Katsuki and the whole situation made her angry enough to try. 

With a steady, almost dangerous voice, she speaks to the dragon: „Leave. I won't be dealing with you tonight.“

The green dragon shifts, still holding her gaze. For a moment, its gaze flickers back to Katsuki.

„Hey, eyes on me!“, y/n barks at it and immediately catches its attention again. Katsuki feels like he's about to faint. Is she really speaking to a dragon like that? What outcome is she expecting?

`

„I'm telling you one more time.“, y/n says loudly, „Leave and don't come after us.“

The green dragon stares at her. There's a clicking sound in its throat. Then, he snaps at y/n, but y/n expected it considering it snapped at her earlier. She uses her chance and throws herself at its snout. Katsuki watches her with an open mouth. Y/n pushes its snout down before letting go of it.

„Leave!“, she yells. The green dragon looks at her perplexed. It raises its head, probably to spew fire at them when a deep rumble can be heard from the red one's den. It's probably a warning. It's enough to make the green one back off. Y/n holds her stance and stares after it until it disappears into the darkness again. 

When it's clear that it's gone, she loosens her stance and huffs a strand of hair out of her face. Meanwhile, Katsuki gains control of his facial expression again. He's not sure whether to be impressed that y/n stood her ground in front of a dragon or concerned that she's mad enough to try so. Actually, it's probably not that bad. He remembers when he tamed Drami. It's the first thing you need to be capable of, to stand your ground in front of such a mighty beast. Most people go into fight-or-flight mode. Of course, then you also need to fight it into submission, but that's another thing.

Y/n turns around to Katsuki. „Are you coming?“, she tells him before turning to leave. Katsuki quickly catches up to her. They don't speak while they walk back to the settlement. 

The closer they get to the tents, the more relaxed Katsuki feels. Also, his bad consciousness starts to creep up on him. He never apologized to y/n about what had happened today.

„Y/n“, he calls out to her and stops her by taking her hand. This time his touch is soft and not firm. Y/n can get out of his grasp anytime she wants. She turns towards him and looks at him expectantly.

„I'm sorry about today. I'm sorry about my mother treating you badly, I'm sorry if the whole presentation was humiliating to you and I'm sorry I lost it earlier.“, he tells her. 

Y/n is sure he's apologizing right now. He's got that look in his eyes. Curved eyebrows, an almost sorrowful look on his face. It's not enough, however, he needs to try a little harder. A simple apology isn't going to get him into her good grace again. Katsuki sighs and steps a bit closer to her. With his other hand, he strokes her cheek.

„You've been nothing but great. To me, you're the perfect mate. Hell, you are standing your ground no matter what we throw at you. Even a dragon. We, no I, failed you. Drami's right. If I want to be your mate, I need to be better. I promise I will be better.“, he softly says. He knows she can't understand him but he just hopes she'll soften up on him a little bit.

Y/n stares in his eyes intently. His voice sounds soft, almost submissive. She sighs. There's no use in keeping this argument up. It's not going to help her situation. And at least, Katsuki seems to understand that she's frustrated. She just hopes he also believes that her frustration is justified and that he's not just trying to sway her.

She touches his hand softly. Katsuki gives her a shy smile and takes a few steps closer to her. When she doesn't react, he closes the gap between them. Carefully, he wraps his arms around her. Y/n can't help but lean into the touch. By now Katsuki's touch has become something familiar and comforting to her. She buries her face in his chest. Katsuki chuckles and y/n can feel the vibration of his laugh. Her heart flutters a bit. Damn this Katsuki, she thinks, Why does he have to be so attractive? She can feel Katsuki's hand in her hair. Lightly, he scratches the skin on her head. Y/n wants to melt. After this long, confusing day, she just wants to relax and fall asleep in his arms.

Katsuki's hand moves towards her ear and he tucks a few strands of hair behind it. Y/n looks up to him and is met with a soft gaze. It's almost surprising to her. Katsuki rarely looks so soft. He's just not that kind of guy. Maybe today has worn him thin as well. Y/n gives him a small smile. Katsuki's hand ghosts along her cheek. Slowly he moves his head towards hers giving y/n enough time to move out of the way or reject him. She doesn't. Katsuki's lips meet y/n's in a light kiss. He's not putting much pressure behind it. Just enough for y/n's heart to make a little jump. 

Quickly, he pulls away and ruffles y/n's hair lightly. Y/n retreats a bit as well. Katsuki throws an arm around her and pulls her towards the settlement. There's almost no one outside anymore and it's quiet when they walk back to Katsuki's tent. Y/n is shivering by the time they arrive. Katsuki's arm around her shoulder does little to keep her warm. Inside, they're met with the chaos they left behind earlier today. Y/n shakes off Katsuki's arm and zigzags around the broken things on the ground. She picked up the broken parts of the chair earlier but left the other things he threw around on the floor. She flops down onto Katsuki's bed and points at the mess on the floor.

„You're tidying that up!“, she says sternly. Katsuki scratches the back of his head embarrassedly. He's not sure what y/n said but he guesses she's scolding him for the chaos in the tent. Dutifully, he starts picking up the things on the floor. Meanwhile, y/n starts looking for the clothes she wore to bed yesterday. Once she's found them, she disappears to the attached bathing hut. 

When she's done changing, she returns to the main room. She looks around approvingly. Katsuki tidied up the place quite well. Currently, he's not in the tent. Y/n guesses he disposes of some broken things. While waiting for him, she picks up an apple from a fruit bowl that Katsuki placed back on the small table. Sitting on the bed, she eats it. While it's not much, she's glad to finally get something into her stomach. 

Eventually, Katsuki comes back into the tent. When he sees y/n sitting on the bed, he gives her a curt nod. Then, he starts changing. He's still wearing the armor that he put on before the presentation. Chewing on her apple, y/n watches Katsuki changing. Katsuki usually doesn't wear many clothes so there's not much new to see but y/n takes her time observing. She feels like she deserves that. After all, he let all of his people and that woman eyeball her this morning.

She lets her eyes run over his broad shoulder and how the muscles of his back move when he opens his pants and slips out of them. Katsuki stands there in his underwear for a moment as long as he puts the armor and pants away. Y/n admires his naked chest. A few scars decorate the soft skin on his pecks. Her gaze follows his trained bicep down to his hands. She doesn't notice how Katsuki's done putting on some linen pants or how she stopped chewing at some point.

„Ya like what you see?“, Katsuki asks her with a cocky smirk on his face. 

Katsuki's voice rips her out of her own thoughts. She's met with Katsuki's triumphant facial expression. Oops, guess he caught me, she thinks. She sits up a bit and throws the rest of her apple at Katsuki. Katsuki catches y/n's projectile with ease and gives her a biting laugh. He finishes off the apple in two bites and throws it into a bowl by the side.

Katsuki walks over to the bed and gets in at y/n's side. He starts to climb over her but stops when he's right above her. Y/n tries to shuffle away to give him some more space to get to the other side of the bed when she notices a suspicious twinkle in his eyes. He's not planning to move to the other side. Y/n rolls her eyes and Katsuki chuckles. He leans down and kisses her on the lips.

This time, the kiss is a bit less soft. It's more urgent and there's more pressure behind it. Y/n's eyes flutter close. Katsuki slides down and his weight pushes y/n deeper into the pillows. Absently, y/n's hand runs down Katsuki's chest. She feels Katsuki's tongue running along her upper lip. She lets her own tongue run along his lip as well and soon they meet in an even deeper kiss.

By now, y/n's heartbeat picked up. Katsuki detaches from her lips for a second. He presses open-mouthed kisses along her jawline and down her neck. Softly, he nibbles at her collarbone. Y/n can't help but let out a muffled moan. She already can feel a tingling sensation in her lower belly. Also, she's starting to get hot. Katsuki lets out a chuckle before returning his attention to her. 

Their eyes meet and y/n can see a mischievous gleam behind Katsuki's eyes. „You dick!“, she tells him and smacks his upper arm. Katsuki laughs and rolls off of her. Y/n hasn't got much time to recover before Katsuki pulls her into him again. Angling her head up to him, he drags his lips over hers again. Y/n shifts to get more comfortable. Part of her leg grazes Katsuki's scrotch and she can feel that he's already half-hard. She's lowkey glad she's not the only one on whom this has an effect. 

Quickly, she tries to move her leg away again but Katsuki catches her leg mid-movement. He pulls her leg in between his own and pulls the rest of y/n half on top of him as well. His other hand finds its way back into y/n's hair. Entangling their mouths again, his other hand starts exploring y/n's back, butt and leg. Y/n's hand rests on his lower stomach just above his v-line. Slowly, her hand creeps up his chest up to his cheek.

They continue to make out like this for a while until y/n breaks the kiss to take a deep breath. Katsuki uses the break to fully pull y/n on top of him. Y/n can feel Katsuki's erection under her. In all honesty, she can't blame him. She's also feeling the effects of all this kissing. The way Katsuki's rough hands drag along her back drives her absolutely mad. She doesn't want to know how the inside of her thighs look right now.

Suddenly, Katsuki's hand finds its way under the shirt she's wearing. While his lips still feverishly drag along hers, his hand softly strokes its way up to her chest. Y/n's heart skips a beat when his calloused hand finally makes an impact with her boob. Carefully, Katsuki kneads the soft bundle of flesh. There's enough pressure behind it to make clear how urgently he wants to touch her and soft enough to not hurt her. Giving her one last kiss, he detaches from her and sits up.

„Take that off.“, he demands and pulls her up towards him. Y/n sits up and lets Katsuki push the shirt over her head. She feels flushed even though Katsuki and she now wear the same amount of clothing. Katsuki lets his gaze wander over her chest. Gently, he reaches out to her. The backside of his hand touches her cheek, and then he lets his hand sink downwards towards her chest. With both hands, he squeezes her breasts. He leans his head forward and rests his forehead against hers. While adrenaline and excitement still curse through her veins, y/n feels oddly at ease suddenly. 

Katsuki lets go of her chest and his hand finds hers. Gently, he caresses her hand before pulling it into his lap. Y/n can feel how he presses her palm onto his hardened member. It's not her first time touching a man. She wonders if Katsuki is aware of this or if he thinks it's her first time. Y/n's other hand reaches up to Katsuki's cheek and she pulls him down onto her lips again. At the same time, she carefully squeezes his dick. Katsuki lets out a frustrated groan before pushing his mouth on hers again. Gently, y/n massages him through his pants.

Then, Katsuki pushes her off of him. „Gimme a sec, doll.“, he mumbles and starts fumbling with his pants and pushes them down his legs. Y/n waits patiently for Katsuki to come back for her. When he shivered out of his pants, he crawls over to y/n again and pushes her onto her back. He starts kissing her neck and nipping at her earlobe. Each kiss leaves behind electricity that shoots down her body. Y/n takes his hand and puts it back on her chest again. She's done with kissing. She wants more. Katsuki lets out a low chuckle. Carefully he dips his head down and lets his tongue run over her nipple. Y/n groans and lets her hand run through his spiky hair.

Meanwhile, Katsuki's hand wanders down her side. When his hand finds the hem of her pants, she can feel her heartbeat quicken again. She's nervous about what's about to happen next. A positive nervous, an expectant nervous, a I-can't-wait-to-feel-your-hands-where-I-need-you-most nervous. However, Katsuki doesn't give her that satisfaction just yet. He lets his hand ghost over her crotch before gently cupping her most private area. Y/n gasps at the contact and wishes that stupid linen pants weren't in the way. Again, Katsuki chuckles at her expression.

Y/n glares at him. She's got enough of his teasing. She pushes at his chest and Katsuki lets himself fall back onto his back with a laugh. Immediately, y/n is on top of him and kisses down his neck. Gently, she bites the skin on the nape of his neck. Katsuki lets out a forced groan. She can feel his dick jump a bit in between her legs. She continues to kiss down his chest, and presses open-mouthed kisses onto his tummy until she has reached his v-line. She traces the bones on his hips while mischievously looking up at him. I can play the same game, she thinks. Katsuki looks down at her through lidded eyes. 

„Fuck, y/n, are you gonna do something or do I need to show you how?“, Katsuki grumbles and pushes his hand into y/n's hair trying to gently push her down onto his cock. Y/n clicked her tongue. „Oh, no, don't think I let you get off this easily.“, y/n teases him. She starts pressing soft kisses onto the side of his hips, down his v-line and stops right in front of his shaft. 

„Shit, you bitch!“, Katsuki groans in frustration but he doesn't move. Secretly he's enjoying y/n's attention and playfulness. He didn't expect y/n to be this devious, especially not in bed. Clearly, she must have some experience and he's glad about that. He was afraid that this would scare her away. But, considering her reactions, she must be enjoying this too.

Lost in his own thoughts, he doesn't notice how y/n's head dips down. Only when he feels her tongue running down his dick. He almost jumps up at the sensation. His hand grips her hair a bit tighter but he doesn't make any further movements. Y/n can feel his leg muscles tighten. She runs her tongue up his shaft again before gently teasing the tip of his cock. Katsuki groans and lets his head fall back. Y/n gently rubs the side of his legs in comfort. I got you, she wants to tell him. 

Then, she takes his entire dick into her mouth. Katsuki almost thrusts up but catches himself mid-movement. Y/n is glad for Katsuki's control. She's sure that she can't deepthroat him. For now, she just bobs up and down his length licking and sucking. The areas her mouth can't reach get stimulated by her hands which she has wrapped around his shaft.

Eventually, Katsuki can't take it anymore and pulls y/n off his dick. He sits up and roughly pulls y/n up to him, towards his mouth. Feverishly, he kisses her, shoving his tongue into her mouth. Slowly but carefully his resolution starts to crumble. In a swift movement, he pushes y/n onto her back with one hand and pushes down her pants with his other hand.

Cool air hits y/n's pussy. She almost gasps at that sensation alone. However, Katsuki is done waiting and teasing. Immediately, he pushes his fingers in between her folds. Y/n lets out a choked noise. Katsuki leans down and starts licking and biting her nipples while massaging her clit in rough, circular movements. Y/n is already seeing stars. It's been so long since someone touched her like this and clearly Katsuki knows what he's doing. His fingers wander from her clit downwards towards her entrance. Swiftly, one of Katsuki's fingers enter her. Y/n can't help but let out a raspy moan. 

She's not sure whether or not Katsuki registers the sound she's making. Maybe he doesn't care or maybe he's beyond capable of teasing her about it. Either way, his mouth lets go of her nipple and wanders down her tummy until he finally reaches her cunt. He's not waiting for another second before pushing his tongue in between y/n's folds. Y/n gasps again and buckles her hip. Katsuki simply pushes her hips down and continues his administration. While his tongue swirls around in between her pussy folds, his finger pumps in and out of her tight hole. Y/n's upper body twists around in the bedsheets. 

It feels so good, she barely can't take it anymore. Katsuki adds another finger and y/n goes wild. She pushes her hands into his hair and she's not sure whether she wants to push his head deeper into her cunt or pull him away because she needs to stop. Katsuki does not leave any room for a decision as he pushes deeper into her crotch. Just when he feels y/n's walls tighten around his fingers, he pulls away.

He stares at y/n with wild eyes. Her wetness still glittering on his lips and chin. Y/n's chest is heaving and she can't tear her eyes away from Katsuki. „Fuck, babe, you taste so fucking good.“, Katsuki grumbles while taking a long look at her. Y/n's hair is disheveled and her cheeks are flushed. Right now, there is a disappointed expression on her face. Katsuki grins and moves to hoover over her. 

„Don't worry, love, you'll get to come. You just have to do it on my dick. Only this way you can become truly mine.“, he tells her.

Y/n pouts because she doesn't understand why they're suddenly stopping. Luckily, Katsuki doesn't let her wait too long. He crawls up her body and kisses her deeply. Y/n can feel his dick laying right above her pussy. Katsuki snaps his hips a bit and pushes his dick in between her wet folds. Y/n moans and opens her legs so that he has better access to her pussy.

„Shit, babe, you want me that bad, hm?“, Katsuki groans as he sees y/n pull her legs apart for him. He leans back a bit to take a good view of her soaked cunt. „Fuck...“, he groans as he lets his dick run over her now-open pussy.

„Katsuki!“, y/n whines. She wants him. Now. Katsuki chuckles and leans down to kiss her. „Alright, alright, babe, I get what you want.“, he mumbles as he shifts and tries to find her entrance with his cock. When he's not fast enough, y/n takes matters into her own hands and leads his dick to her entrance. Katsuki doesn't wait for another second and pushes into her in one swift movement. Y/n can't help but let out a loud moan at the sensation. Katsuki's head drops down onto her shoulder.

He doesn't give her any time to adjust to him but immediately starts a steady pace. His dick slides in and out of y/n's slick hole. Y/n wraps her legs around his hips and grabs onto his shoulders. She can't help but let her eyes roll back a bit. Her fingers could never compare to the feeling of a real dick inside of her. And Katsuki's dick feels especially good. Katsuki keeps up the pace for a bit until he grows tired of it. He sits up a bit and his dick slides out of y/n. She groans in protest.

„Relax, love, we're not done yet.“, Katsuki mumbles as he sits up on his knees. Roughly, he pulls one of y/n's legs over his shoulder and opens her other leg widely. Then, he shoves his cock back inside of her. In short, hard movements, he rocks in and out of her pussy. Y/n cries out loud at the new angle and the roughness with which Katsuki starts to fuck her.

„Fuck, babe, this feels so good.“, Katsuki groans while his balls slap against y/n's ass. He has had sex before but it was never like this. He either paid the women or just took them. None of them were as wet as y/n or as willing to move against him the way y/n does. And the sight of her just added to his arousal. Concluding from her facial expression and moans, y/n must be so fucking horny for him. It makes him wish they had done this sooner. Before they came here and things got more complicated.

„Katsuki-i...! Harder! Fuck!“, y/n moans and grips his wrists. Even without understanding her words, Katsuki gets the message. He wants to fuck her harder and faster, too. He pulls y/n's leg from his shoulders and hooks his hands under both her knees pulling her pussy closer to him. He quickens the place and the closeness gives him the option to ram his dick into her harder.

„Fuck, yes!“, y/n yells. She's glad he understood what she wants. Fuck, this is so good, she thinks. She loves how hard Katsuki is taking her. Most men are too timid to take her how she likes it the first time. The first time is always a bit awkward, trying to find out what the other likes. But Katsuki fucks her just the way she wants his, the way she needs it. She needs to forget this awful day and Katsuki's cock in her pussy makes her mind goes numb.

Slowly, but steadily, y/n can feel her orgasm approaching. She hopes that Katsuki doesn't change his movement but keeps it up just the way he's fucking into her right now. There are already pearls of sweat forming on his chest and eyebrows. Meanwhile, Katsuki can feel y/n's pussy tighten around his member. 

„Shit, babe, are you close?“, he groans while keeping up the pace. Concluding from y/n's concentrated look, yes, she must be. Carefully he grips her upper body and pulls her up to him. Y/n whines at the change of position but Katsuki makes it up to her by fucking up into her and reaching that one spot that drives her mad. Katsuki pulls her up and his face rests on the left side of her neck. Y/n claws at his back, desperate to finally get off. Katsuki continues to fuck into her relentlessly. 

„I've got you, babe, c'mon, come on my cock.“, he mumbles into her skin. 

Right now, he needs her to finally climb over the edge. It will hurt less if she's in the middle of an orgasm. Y/n groans throwing her head back. Katsuki can feel her pussy tighten one more time and then start spasming around him. That's what he's been waiting for. He doesn't wait for another second and sinks his teeth into her neck.

Pain. Blinding, numbing pain shoots up her neck. 

Y/n lets out a choked scream. From all the things she's expected Katsuki to do, this is not on the list. Is he... biting her? It feels like he's about to rip a large part of flesh out of her. The pain overshadows the orgasm she forgets she's having. She pushes against his chest, trying to get him off of her.

„Let... go!!“, she cries as she pushes against him. There's no use. He's so much stronger than her. He only sinks his teeth deeper into her flesh. Maybe it's because there was more adrenaline in her blood back then, but this feels worse than when she was hit with the arrow.

Her heart pulls itself together. Why is he doing this? She can feel her warm blood flow down her own chest. He must know how badly he's injuring her.

Meanwhile, he's still fucking into her roughly.

She wants him off. She wants his teeth and dick outside of her body. Right now. She fights against him. Pushing and scratching him. Yelling and crying to let her go, but Katsuki doesn't listen to her. Or he's not hearing her.

His thrusts pick up speed as he fucks into her. 

„No, Katsuki! Pull out!“, she yells but Kasuki is too far gone to register her words. In three hard thrusts, he comes. Y/n can feel his hot seed spluttering deep inside of her.

By now, all colour must've left her face and she becomes numb. 

She doesn't feel the pain in her neck anymore. Or how Katsuki pulls away from her. How he gently places her onto the bed and presses a clean cloth against the wound. How he caresses her face and litters it with soft kitten kisses. How he gets another warm, wet cloth and carefully cleans the inside of her thighs. How he pulls her close and lovingly scratches her head. 

Or how he softly mutters:

„You're mine now, my mate.“

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

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[Please comment beneath the last update if you'd like to be tagged in future chapters]

[wonysugar]

skilled | kim minjeong

synopsis : you always, always did her homework. what changed today?

pairing : bully!winter x nerd!femreader

genre : smut, nothing else, they just fuck very roughly, the end

tags : exhibitionism, they’re seniors, they also fuck in the lockers, before p.e, so they end up skipping oops, lots of manhandling, heavy degradation, fingering, nipple play, cunnilingus

warnings : !!read these before reading!! heavy blackmail, dubcon, recording, minjeong uses the word ‘lesbian’ as an insult, so homophobia? implied studentxteacher relationships

word count : 1.9k

a/n : disclaimer, all of this is fiction and is written for entertainment purposes!! i do not romanticize any of this. if anything similar is happening to you please please PLEASE speak up about it and also DON’T DO THIS TO ANYONE?? PLEASE?? THIS IS HORRIBLE

but on another note, happy belated birthday present @wintersera!! i meant to post this yesterday but uhm! writer’s block was on my ass. anyways i sincerely hope you enjoy it!

also this is not proofread uhm. SORRY,,

“where’s my homework?”

you looked away from minjeong, stupidly blinking at the numerous lockers behind her, trying to distract yourself from the fact that you were probably going to die today. to which, she groaned, annoyed.

her smooth hand grabbed your jaw in a swift motion and made you look at her properly, “i don’t have all fucking day y/n, it’s due next period. so, where is it?”

you felt your breathing get heavier by the second, your palms getting sweatier, your mouth suddenly producing more saliva, you knew how bad she got when things didn’t go her way, being a menace to everybody in school definitely got to her head. her poisonous stare piercing right through you as her grip on your jaw got tighter, you gathered up the courage to speak.

“i-i.. i don’t have it.”

..a scoff escapes her mouth, you always had the homework done and ready for her, what suddenly changed today?

“what do you mean you don’t have it? i told you to bring it today, didn’t i?” she responds, a mocking pout plastered on her face as you slightly shook under her touch.

“i didn’t do it, minjeong.” you confessed almost immediately. her eyes widened slightly as her eyebrows were upturned with condescension, surprised by your sudden boldness as she let go of you.

“it’s fine i’ll just- i’ll do it and give it to you after class. it’s about to be pe anyways—“ you added, stuttering and quickly closing your locker, convinced and hopeful that you could take the opportunity to walk away from the whole situation and get to the gym before she could do anything else.

boy, were you wrong.

in what felt like an incredibly short amount of seconds, she violently grabbed your collar and pinned you to the locker with full force, earning a yelp from you.

“who said i was done with you, bitch?” she leaned into you, staring at your visage like you were nothing but mere garbage to her, like laying her precious eyes on you was a chore. she giggled upon seeing your worried expression,

“i think you’re forgetting something, sweetheart. do i need to remind you that this whole arrangement started because i saw you, i watched you getting fingered by our teacher. i mean fuck, i always knew you were a weird desperate fucking lesbian, but our teacher?”

you clenched your jaw,

“i’m not a lesbian.” you snapped, to which she immediately started laughing.

“oh but you seem to be enjoying yourself soo much in that little video i recorded, don’t you think? how she was gripping your hair, how your eyes rolled back like a slut while she pumped her fingers in and out of you. be honest, you were loving it, y/n.” she hummed, then carried on,

“but then again, i might be totally blowing this out of proportion, so i could always show others and ask what they think–“

“goddamnit minjeong pleasepleaseplease don’t do that i’ll do anything i’m serious just– please.” you pleaded, tears threatening to spill out of your eyes now, like they always do when she’s pulling shit like this. if anyone were to find out that you gave your virginity up to your teacher for some grade, you’d be the talk of the entire school.

there you were, the y/n she knew and loved, the y/n who looked like a prey being hunted by its predator, the y/n who would sob so abundantly when she’d hurt you that it almost made her feel bad about it. the y/n that she got off on seeing.

thoroughly enjoying the sight of you shaking like a lost puppy under her, “so, why isn’t the homework done, baby?” she asked you in a mocking concerned voice, wearing a pout, being fully aware and amused by the fact that calling you by that cute and innocent pet name would make you quiver in even more fear.

she usually called you nicknames whenever she was planning to do something really bad.

upon seeing you avoid her gaze in shame, she gripped you tightly and pressed you harder into the locker. she was growing impatient, you knew it.

“i d-didn’t want to do it.” was the only thing you somehow managed to let out.

she stared at you some more, a smirk slowly cracking into place, progressively turning into a full-blown laugh as her grip on your collar loosened, before she let go of it completely once again. it took her a while to compose herself again, because it was just genuinely that hilarious to her.

“take off your clothes.”

what.

“w-what?” you immediately tensed up. thoughts filled with the possibilities of what she could do to you, your mind wandering in the dirtiest of places. you didn’t want to acknowledge it, but you felt insanely, extremely, very weirdly attracted to her.

“god, are you braindead or something? just shut the fuck up and take off your clothes, it’s not that hard. you’re better at being a fuckdoll than doing homework, anyway.” she groaned, snapping you back into reality.

“minjeong, the bell is about to rin-“

before you could even think about finishing your sentence, you felt a pair of lips roughly pressing against yours. letting out a surprised whimper, minjeong forcefully inserted her tongue into your mouth as she took it upon herself to get you out of your clothing, gliding her hands under the graphic tee you wore for your class, reaching for your tits and groping one of them before taking it off.

you quickly pulled away from the kiss, barely processing that it even happened in the first place. you suddenly remembered where you were at that moment, then proceeded to push her hands away.

“fuck - mmh - n-not here?? anybody could walk in and- and-“ you stuttered, completely ignoring the question reoccurring in your mind; why the fuck is she even wanting to do you in the first place?

obviously, as to be expected, she didn’t let you finish. instead, she just settled on grabbing both of your shoulders and turned you around, once again pushing you on the locker so your back would be facing her. you immediately felt your throbbing headache come back from the impact there was something else that was also throbbing, you just didn’t want to think about it.

you were getting ready to say something as you felt her stick her hand into your gym shorts, but she quickly used her other hand to shove two fingers inside your mouth.

“you’re way prettier when you stop talking.” she chuckled, whispering into your ear as she rubbed your embarrassingly wet cunt through the fabric of your underwear, making you whine against her fingers as you’re trying your hardest to be quiet and sucking on them to do so.

“my god baby you’re so wet for me.. and here i was, harassing you everyday, trying to annoy the shit out of you.. turns out you get off from this shit, hm? you probably play with your clit thinking about how mean i am to you all the time.” she sneered, “fucking lesbian.”

how the fuck did she expect you to stay quiet in this situation? the door was very much open, literally anyone could walk in at any moment, you were skipping class whether you liked it or not, and the way she was talking to you was not making it any better for you.

it’s not even like you could cover it up if someone did come in, due to the fact that you were, you know, slightly bent over in front of minjeong, her hands now inside of your shorts and on your clothed boobs as she manipulated your body to her liking.

it didn’t take long before her hands dug under your panties, sliding her middle and ring finger across your slit, feeling your slick immediately coat her digits. once again using her other hand to unhook your bra. your breathing hitched upon feeling her immediately grab ahold of your tit.

minjeong was quick to play with the bud, harshly twisting and pulling while attentively looking at your every move; her piercing gaze on you, observing and watching how your expression twists in one of euphoric pain, a wince whenever she dug her nails into your skin, mixed with a whine as she finally ended up inserting two digits inside you, slowly and gently curling them.

it was a sight to see.

“does my stupid little whore like that?” she asked you, taking in all of your reactions, one by one.

“f-fuck you.” was all you could let out in response, because while she was doing her thing, probably amused seeing you this powerless. you, on the other hand, were paranoid, throwing occasional glances at the door to make sure no one was near.

she chuckled when you threw your head back onto her shoulder, relieved from both nobody being near and the knot that was progressively tying in your stomach. you were getting close, she could feel it from the way your walls clenched around her, or the way your breathing got heavier and profanities started coming out of your mouth as you gripped her skirt tight. it was a myriad of things, really.

and that’s exactly why she completely stopped.

she knew it’d frustrate you to not finish, so she just completely ceased what she was doing. smirking while taking her fingers out of you and letting go of your chest.

“what the fuck??” is what you were gonna say if she wouldn’t have shoved the fingers she used to fuck you into your mouth, fake pout as she watched you. you made sure to glare at her before sucking on them thoroughly, also making sure that you licked them all clean.

“see how good you taste, baby?” she chuckled, taking her fingers out.

“i was close to finishing i was- i was about to cum.” you coldly told her.

she raised a mocking eyebrow, “first you don’t do my homework, now you wanna talk back? and here i was, trying to cut you some slack, fulfilling your weird disgusting fantasies and this how you thank me?”

she kicked on your leg, pushing you down to your knees and raised up her skirt to reveal her black lacy underwear, all in one swift motion.

she let out a theatrical sigh, “you know, you got me really worked up. so here’s what’s gonna happen,” she grabs your hair violently, making you look up at her. she laughed at the scene, at how ridiculous you looked, then continued.

“you’re gonna eat me out until i’m satisfied, got it? you wouldn’t want me to spread that video now, would you, y/n?” she tilted her head slightly, and.. here goes that fake motherfucking pout. oh how you hated seeing her treat you like an inferior.

is what you so desperately wish you could say.

but no, you actually obeyed. you proved her point, you showed her how obedient you can be, and ate her out like it was your last meal on earth.

her quiet moans, her grip on your hair, the grinding of her wet pussy onto your face, the way she was holding her phone and recording you, saying things like “you’re pretty - shit - skilled for someone who supposedly doesn’t like girls.” and “i know you’ve been wanting this, doll. it’s written all over your dumb fucking face when you glare at me.” while stroking your hair, before pulling on it right afterwards.

it was so dehumanizing, and for all you knew, she could use that as new material to blackmail you with next time, but you still did it. it was an indescribable feeling in the pit of your stomach.

you took a mental note that day,

and reminded yourself to never do her homework again.

[blackswan446]

Could you please write about yandere who's a fuckboy? At first he was just gonna play with her reader's heart but ended up being obsessed with her. Any member is fine. Thank you so much in advance if you end up writing it!

lifetime.

→ pairing: yan!jjk x reader

→ synopsis: we live for so many years, why not make them the happiest you can?

→ wc: 5362

→ cws: kidnapping/coercion, death, funeral, sexual advances

→ notes: yay my first ask! hope you enjoy, and sorry it took so long :(

part two || m.list

jungkook was a womanizer.

at least, that's what everybody else called him. he liked to think of himself as...social. sure, he got around a bit, but that's just how young men lived. especially young men like him. born with a silver spoon in his mouth, the man was set up for success from the moment he was born. who cares if that success came at the expense of a childhood with present parents and a sense of family beyond a name?

needless to say, jungkook's reputation followed him wherever he went, but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing for him. it gained him a different type of respect from other men of his status, and only seemed to draw more and more women into his addictive orbit, no thanks to his looks and suave personality. assistants, secretaries, office workers, even the wives of others, you name the woman, if she was around jungkook for a while, it's more than likely they had something going on.

what a shame he never stuck around. what a shame he would lure them in, with promises of extravagant dates, fancy dresses, and luxurious houses, all to have the chandelier fall back down on them in the form of "we're just not compatible!" although they acted sad, it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what they were really so heartbroken over. the life of their dreams was hanging just within their grasp, all for it to be ripped away and dangled over the head of another girl. anyone would be sad about that.

did it ever get boring?...sometimes. but there lived no fun without the dullness. for every batch of girls that cycled in and out of his life, there were always a few sticklers. sticklers, who didn't leave quietly, but put up a fight, refused to leave, spat insults at him, one even keyed his expensive sports car. these ones were usually paid a hefty sum to see their way out of his life, and what was funny, is that every single girl who was offered the money took it and left. they didn't even give it a second thought.

the idea of settling down sounded nice for about a year, until he quickly realized that it was easier said than done for a man of his rank. it would be far too easy to lock in with a woman that married him for his house, his cars, his fortune, than for him. he didn't need to be bled dry by some selfish woman who resorted to marrying rich after her failed acting career. so alone he stayed, or rather, lonely. he was rarely alone with himself. but he always had this aching feeling of loneliness in his chest.

that was, until one little choice altered his entire life.

"this is who we've narrowed down for the secretary position, sir. it was difficult, as there were a lot of highly qualified applicants, but these are my choices. i figured you could get the final say, if you don't mind." sehyun concluded, leaving the stack of folders in front of jungkook on his desk. sighing deeply, he looked at he pile, then back to the man before him. "are you sure you want me to choose?"

sejun nodded. "yes, sir. unless, of course, you don't want to." he clarified. jungkook shook his head. "no, it's fine. i've got it." he said, reaching for the pile. shutting his eyes, and shuffling the folders in his hands, he grabbed a random one from the middle and held it up. "this one." he declared, handing it back to sejun.

taking it from the male, he opened the file to read the contents. "who's our lucky winner, sejun?" he joked, leaning back in his chair lazily. "looks like it's [first name/last name]. sound alright to you?" he asked, looking to his boss for approval. he nodded. "sounds great to me. she sounds pretty." he remarked, smiling at his own words. with a courtesy laugh and farewell, sejun left, shutting the door behind him. after he was gone, jungkook looked at the pile of papers left behind, and tossed them in the garbage without thinking twice.

it's almost as if he knew he would never need them again.

tapping your foot anxiously, you glanced around the clean waiting room, observing the decorations, the paintings, and even taking note of the sweet smell of the room, the smell of a fresh flower garden in the midst of spring. the only sound that filled the room was the typing of the receptionist on her computer, along with the occasional conversation from the office behind her. the seconds passed like minutes, the minutes like hours, as you waited for in the chair the receptionist sent you to. why were you in a chair? who knows, you told her you had been hired, but she still sent you to wait amongst the clients. you certainly fit in with them, wearing your nicest clothes and cleanest shoes.

finally, you heard the call of your name from behind the desk, and looked up to see a man rushing towards you. "[name], i'm so sorry to keep you waiting. how long have you been here?" he asked apologetically. you shook your head. "oh please, don't worry about it. i haven't been here for long." you reassured him, smiling in an attempt to ease his worries. "well, welcome to jeon industries. on behalf of everyone, we're all very happy you're here." he beamed, leading you down a carpeted hallway to a small, messy office. "here, have a seat--i guess you've been doing a lot of that today," he chuckled, "and i'll get you setup with your badge and login information."

you nodded, accepting his invitation to sit down in the cushy chair in front of his desk. the office was disorganized, but not in a way that made you want to leave. it looked more like the office of someone who was always hard at work, rather than someone who just didn't bother to clean. 'so you're fresh out of college, right? how's the real world been treating you?" he asked, typing away on his computer before searching around for something on his cluttered desk. "so far, so good. i'm here, aren't i?" you replied, half-smiling. he nodded slowly. "right you are...alright, here's a temporary badge. we'll get you an official one once we can get the photographer in for your picture. and this," he said, handing you a yellow sticky note with some writing scribbled on it, "is your login information for your computer. now i'll bring you to your desk, and get you setup with your trainer, and you'll be good to go!" he said cheerily, standing up from the chair and heading for the door.

a long series of hallways led to your desk, which was situated right outside of a sleek wooden door, on which a gold plate that was engraved with the name "jeon jungkook". the door had glass on either side, that peeked into the office, where you caught a glimpse of the supposed mr. jeon, on a phone call at his desk. unfortunately, he looked up from his desk at the exact moment you were peering into the office, resulting in one second of awkward eye contact before you turned your head away and your eyes met the ones of a new girl.

"hi!" she grinned, "i'm aera. i work in accounting, right down the hall. you're [name], right?" she asked, sticking her hand out for you to shake. taking it, you introduced yourself. "yes, hello, it's nice to meet you, aera!" you said confidently, her kind manner easing your burning nerves. "i'll let you two get started here. aera, thank you for your time, and [name], if you need anything, you can come to either of us, and we'll help you out. alright?" he asked. at your nod, he gave one last smile before disappearing down the hallway.

aera clasped her hands. "well, isn't this exciting! i love when we get new people here. let's start your training, shall we?"

jungkook saw you. you tried to look away, you tried to act like you weren't staring him down, but he always saw the stares. it's not like he had any issue with it, of course. he loved when people looked at him, especially pretty girls such as yourself. and to think that you were just going to be sitting outside, doing nothing else but running around for his sake! he had been looking for a new distraction from his work, his life, his everything. and it looks like he just found it.

three months had passed, three months of your little desk, new friendships, and great work. the job was going great for you; of course, it was work, so it did have its downsides, but the good far outweighed the bad. your coworkers welcomed you in with open arms, despite your young age and inexperience, they respected you and valued your opinions, which alleviated about 80% of your worries.

as for the job itself, it was great. all you really did was secretary work, like scheduling meetings, booking dinner reservations, and calling other businessmen, all for the ceo.

jeon jungkook.

what an interesting man.

right off the bat, jungkook was very...friendly...to you. the first day you were there, without aera by your side to help you, he moseyed on out of his office and right to your desk, taking the opportunity to "personally introduce" himself to you, and by that, he meant saying his name and staring at you like a piece of meat as he carried on a meaningless conversation.

from then on, he was always just around. wherever you were, he always seemed to find himself. for a while, you thought he was just being welcoming. but when it didn't let up after the first month, you started to think that there were some sort of ulterior motives at play. no ceo has any reason to be getting his secretary gifts every week, nor any reason to grab the small of her waist every time he passes behind her. the questions in your head came to an end when aera revealed the young man's real self, in a serious conversation over some hot breakroom coffee.

"he's a major...manwhore!" she revealed, going on to recount all the numbers of women she had heard him being with in her few years there. "he's been with virtually every woman here." you looked at her in disbelief, and you didn't need to ask the question for her to give you an answer. she nodded slowly, staring into her mug. "i'm not proud of it..i was young, and i liked the attention. i feel so stupid now." she admitted.

it all made sense to you now, the touching, the presents, the prolonged conversations about the lobby decorations. it all clicked. he only saw you as another trophy to win and put into his glass case with all the other girls he had tainted. you wanted to be shocked, but with someone of his authority and resources, it'd be a lie to say you expected differently. it was a shame, sure, but at least you knew now.

jungkook, on the other hand, had no clue what your problem was. it didn't usually take him this long to seduce a girl. what more did he have to do? he did everything he knew of--gifts, of pretty flowers and expensive candies, having long and invested conversations together, he even resorted to the subtle-touching method. how long was this going to take?! did you have a boyfriend, or were you saving it for marriage, or were you just a prude?

as frustrating as this loss was, especially for someone who always won, there was something strange about it that he...liked? he didn't know either. but it was oddly addicting, the challenge of it. the unfamiliarity of it. of not being given into at the first smile. the need to actually try, even if it was for something so shallow,

he just liked trying.

the night had come, and left a wash of black over everything that was once bright and clear. you could see the night sky from your window, and the stars glittered like moonlight on the ocean. throwing your things into your bag sloppily, in a hurry to get out out of the office and into the cool nighttime air. you were scheduled to have left an hour ago, but a cold had set you back a few days last week, and you needed to catch up on the work that was left waiting for you.

slinging your purse over your shoulder and pushing in your chair, you walked to jungkook's door to bid him farewell for the evening. as grossed out as you were by him, it would be rude to not say goodbye to your boss, at least, you thought it was. poking your head in the door, you barely got the word 'goodbye' out before noticing something strange.

jungkook wasn't hunched over his desk, or talking on his phone, or even on his computer. instead of bidding you a cheeky goodbye, he was standing at his large window, which overlooked the city and its bright lights. furrowing you brows, you debated going further inside to ask what was wrong, but the young man had already picked up on your presence, so you couldn't back out now.

"[name]," he said, not in his normal flirtatious tone, "heading out?" he glanced at the time on his watch. "i guess so. it's pretty late." you took a few steps into his office, staying close to the door. "yeah, i was. but are you alright? i saw you just...standing there." you asked quietly, nervous that your simple question had overstepped some type of boundary.

he nodded quickly. "yeah, yeah. i'm alright, thanks...just thinking, i guess." he said, turning his body to face you entirely. you cocked your head to the side. "about what? anything in particular?" you asked, mentally slapping yourself. this is probably exactly what he wants to happen, you thought, you were being too kind to him. but you couldn't exactly leave now, you were too far in.

he sighed. "honestly? yeah. i was just thinking...what if i'm not fit for this? i mean, today, i noticed that our revenue numbers have gone down, and not by just a little bit. i mean, i hear all the time that it's normal for companies to fluctuate in their numbers, but nobody ever talks about it. and it scares me. it makes me think that i'm doing something wrong." he confessed, looking down at his shiny leather shoes.

"i see." was all you could say. what else was there? were you supposed to give him business advice? "and i have my father breathing down my neck, always reminding me that i need to have this big, important life, that i need to get married, and run a corporation perfectly, and learn french, and piano, and racquetball, and all this other bullshit, and i can barely keep my head above water!" he complained, having shifted from the window to his desk chair. he chuckled slightly, after a moment. "i'm sorry, [name], god, i get asked one question, and i go off on a tangent. you don't deserve that."

you smiled softly. "don't worry, mr. jeon. i'm the one who asked. as for everything else you said...nobody said you need to do it all at once. you're young, sir. you have a lot of life ahead of you. you have plenty of time to do all of those things, and even more things, that you can choose. you're not running out of time. and i'm sorry you feel like you are." you consoled, scolding yourself for the cliché advice you just gave.

instead of scoffing, he nodded his head slowly. "i guess you're right. i mean, i'm only 28. i won't be going anywhere anytime soon." he mused. you smiled, this time more broadly. "you've given me a lot to think about, [name]. thank you. seriously." he said, his signature grin returning to his face. with a quiet goodbye, you scurried out of the office, eager to get out into the fresh air, and away from the incidental therapy session you just had with your boss.

the next day, you walked in, and as you approached your desk, you were greeted by the biggest arrangement of flowers you had ever seen in a vase. you didn't even need to read the card to know where they came from.

that day at lunch, a pair of dainty knuckles went up to meet the sleek wood of the door. a flat voice from behind it admitted the person to the room, which they entered and shut the door behind them.

"mr. jeon."

glancing up from the paper in his hands, he met aera's sharp eyes. "aera. what can i do for you?" he asked, turning his attention back down to his work. she moved forward, to sit in one of the sleek leather chairs in front of his desk. "well, you can tell me what you and that little assistant of your have going on, for starters."

looking up, this time with much more intensity than before, he stared into her brown eyes. "what are you talking about?" he demanded. she laughed, as if it were the stupidest question she had ever heard. "don't play dumb. you know exactly what i'm talking about. you and that little puritan that sits outside of your office all day?" she laughed again, "always sending her flowers and that other bullshit. i mean, you're not a stupid man. what could you possibly see in her? she's obviously a prude, obviously inexperienced, and so boring! what a sad excuse for a woman! why keep chasing after that..." she paused, standing up and circling around the desk to where jungkook was sat, seating herself on the arm of the chair, "when you could have...something so much better, and all you have to do is say the word?" she whispered, leaning in close to his ear.

clenching his jaw, jungkook turned his head away from aera. "get out." he seethed, refusing to say anymore than that. she scoffed, standing up and placing her hand on her hip. "i--you cannot be serious. don't be shy, sir, i know you want this. all you have to do is tell me yes."

"okay, well, i'm telling you to get out, before i call the front desk and have you escorted out, by security." he boomed, standing up from his chair, sending it flying into the shelf behind him, "and don't bother coming back. not today, not tomorrow, not next week. just pack your shit and leave."

mouth agape, and standing there awkwardly until jungkook motioned for her to get out, aera stormed out, heels thumping on the floor. "unbelievable. un-fucking-believable!" she shouted, slamming the door behind her as she left. she stormed past your desk and as she walked by, spat "he's yours, you little bitch."

confused, you watched her back disappear down the corridor and into her office, where she noisily started slamming things around. jungkook came out of his office, rushing to your desk as he heard her shout at you. her obnoxious throwing and swearing could be heard as she grabbed all her belongings and left out of the back entrance.

looking at jungkook, with whom you were still not totally comfortable with, he patted your shoulder softly as he talked to you. "are you alright? i don't know what her problem is. did she do anything to you?' he asked. after assuring him you were okay, he went back into his office. you wondered all afternoon what she meant by "he's yours".

ever since the night you had caught him all stressed out, he seemed to be different. like he held a higher respect for you now. instead of passing by you by grabbing your waist, he politely excused himself. instead of extending conversations about nothing, he asked you genuine questions, and replied with interested answers. as for the gifts...they didn't really stop. but his shift in behavior was nice, you appreciated the new high regard he held you in.

as for jungkook, he had stopped looking at you like a piece of ass. he didn't see you like that anymore. see, it wasn't the first time he had been asked if he was alright by a woman. it had happened plenty of times. it also wasn't the first time he had answered with that exact thing: the fear of not living up to what he needed to be, that ate away at him every single day. but it was the first time he had gotten an actual response. not a one-word answer, not an 'oh', not a subject change. an actual response, with substance and meaning. it was weird, such a small action was the most heard and seen he had ever felt in his whole life. furthermore, it inspired hope, something that he had long given up on. and it was fucking euphoric.

needless to say, he was smitten. maybe it was destiny, or maybe his standards were just low. either way, he had never felt this way for anyone before, and couldn't imagine feeling it for anyone else. so naturally, he didn't take too kindly to someone coming in and disrespecting you like that, much less one of your closest friends! through his anger, he couldn't help but wonder, why? was she jealous, because she knew that an ugly beast hid behind her mask, and there was no changing it? or was she just that shallow?

whatever her reasons, jungkook didn't really care. all he knew is that she was a problem, one that took priority over any other issue he had. she needed to be gone, not just from the company, but from society. your heart was too golden, too shiny and beautiful to float around, unprotected from the tarnish of others.

oh, you. what would happen with you? it was already decided, at least, in his mind, that you were his and he was yours. it was that simple. you just didn't know yet. that wasn't what the issue was here. you would no doubt be upset over the tragic loss of your best friend, but who would hold you as you cried? who would hug you as you struggled to fall asleep? who would be there for you in your hour of need? jungkook would, obviously. the roles in your life were open, the role of boyfriend, best friend, provider. and he had enough love to fill all of those spots to the max, plus more left over to shower you in, to drown you in. what better person could there be?

the decision was made, he knew what had to happen, and he knew he would get away with it. normally, he didn't like to risk dirtying his hands with anything even remotely like this, but for you, he'd crawl his way through the mud. besides, what harm was there in getting your hands dirty, as long as you washed the muck away?

the news had hit you like a freight train. aera, one of your very best friends, struck while walking on the street late at night, by a drunk driver. how awful! and just that day, she had gotten into a conflict at work...the poor girl. she was so young, too. she had so much going for her, so much to wait for in life.

putting on your nicest black outfit, combing your hair out, and grabbing your plain black umbrella, you parked your car on the road across from the cemetery. your umbrella came in handy, as it was a grey day, rain drizzling from the sky, almost like God was crying right along with you. faces, familiar and not, all flooded to the open grave.

looking around, you recognized a few coworkers, and most notable, jungkook. he had on a black suit, one that looked nicer than his everyday ones, and was standing around with a few people. he didn't look like he was sad, but more solemn. like he was only there because it was the right thing to do.

you shied away from the crowd, preferring to stick to yourself and process the loss on your own. you visited the casket, which had the lid shut up tight, and you just stood there for a minute. memories of aera flooded your mind, from the first cheerful greeting she gave you to the final words she hurled at you as she stormed away. who knew that would be the last time you ever saw each other?

as you mourned, you felt a hand snake around your waist, rubbing your side gently. "hey, [name]. how are you holding up?" jungkook asked quietly, leaning into your ear as he did so. you shook your head. "i'm fine, it's just..so shocking. i mean, we just saw her." you said, not totally believing the words that left your own mouth.

he nodded. "mmh, i get that. it's horrifying, isn't it? absolutely..horrifying." he said, looking down at the polished brown casket and the spread of flowers that sat on top of it. "hey, you've been standing in the rain for a while. aren't you cold? here, take this." he offered, taking the soft suit jacket off and hanging it over your shoulders. "how about we go sit down? the service is going to start soon." he said, carefully leading you to two chairs underneath the tent, away from the cold drops of rain that were hitting your skin.

you thanked him quietly, and before you could do anymore, the service started. the array of speeches and memories shared in aera's honor brought tears to your eyes, and you couldn't help the few that rolled down your cheeks. the whole time, jungkook kept his arm wrapped around your shoulders, at some points even pulling you closer to him and almost cradling you in his arms. admittedly, it was nice to have someone there for you as you hurt, even if it was him.

the service ended, seemingly as quickly as it started. the crowd dispersed, some going up to say their final goodbye to aera. you and your fragile heart couldn't bear to do it, not again, and after leaving jungkook's suit jacket on your chair, you slowly started to make your way back to the car, wiping your tears on your hands as you did so.

"[name]!" you heard a familiar voice call. turning around, jungkook, suit jacket in hand, walked swiftly towards you, arm outstretched. "come on. i'll take you home." he said, reaching to grab your shoulder. you shook your head. "thank you, but my car's parked here. and thanks for the jacket. i'll see you at work." you replied, trying to turn and leave.

"i don't think you should be driving. you know, with...everything. your mind is foggy. it's dangerous to drive like that. come on, i promise i don't mind." he pleaded, a desperate look crossing his features. hesitantly, you obliged with his request, and he wrapped his arm around you once again as you walked to his fancy car. some heads turned, and there were some whispers, and your face burned because of it, but jungkook didn't seem to notice.

his car was nice, and undoubtedly expensive. with only two seats, it looked like something a movie star would zoom up to a party with. getting in, and buckling your seatbelt, you heard the door locks click, and as the car started up, you felt your grief fire up again, but this time, it manifested in your stomach, specifically, a pit feeling, similar to nerves.

"don't you need my address?" you asked him as he took off down the road. "i have your address already." he said, "you know, from employee records." he clarified, smiling at you innocently. there wasn't much conversation. only the sounds of the asphalt beneath you and the feelings of devastation at aera's death heightening in your stomach, now giving you sweaty palms and a racing heart. all you needed was to get home, to your shower, your pajamas, and your bed.

it was only after jungkook drove past your road that you realized the feeling in your stomach might be a bit more than pure grief. "sorry, but you drove past my road." you informed him. he shook his head. "no, [name]. we're not going there. i have something i need to tell you, and i really need you to stay calm, because it'll make it a whole lot easier for you. got that?" he asked, putting his hand on your thigh and making mindless patterns with his thumb.

"what are you talking about? i'd really just like to go back home, jungkook, my house. please." you beseeched. he shook his head again. "listen to me, baby, just listen, yeah? you are going home--well, not your home, but we're going to our home. sound good? i don't want you to worry. i know this is weird, but i promise, you'll love it. okay? stay calm, for me." he explained, slowly, as if you were a child. tears welled up in your eyes all over again. "but why? i don't want to!" you cried.

"why? why do you think, darling, because i'm bored?" he chuckled at his own sick joke, "because, i love you. and i'm the only one you have, now that aera's gone. i know you're sad about that, but trust me, it was for the best. if you heard what she said, you would hit the floor, baby." he said, he laughed at it, as if it were some type of hilarious joke.

it didn't take a genius to figure out what he was implying. disgusted, you froze in your seat, breath catching in your throat. "you...don't tell me...you did that..to her?" you choked out, barely able to annunciate the words. he shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. "what can i say? she wasn't good for you, darling, that's what you need to understand. she was such a hateful person. she deserved it." he assured you, voice calm and even.

vision blurring, whether it was from the tears or dizziness, you weren't sure, but you clawed at the handle of his car. "let me out. right now. just let me go, and i won't tell anyone. please." you begged, desperately looking around for anything to help you. suddenly, you felt the car stop abruptly in the middle of the road. jungkook leaned over, hand unmoving from your thigh, and spoke directly into your ear. "try to get out of this car again, and so help me god, i will not hesitate to do to the both of us what i did to aera. you wouldn't want that, would you, sweetheart?" he asked, voice sweet and innocent, as he leaned back, and even had the audacity to give you a kiss on the cheek and smile at you as he did so.

slowly, you sat back in your seat, hands folded in your lap. as much as you wanted to, you had no doubt that jungkook would run the both of you off the road if you tried anything else stupid. your ideas for escape started diminishing as more and more trees and fields filled your vision, and the buildings of the city faded away.

"listen to me. i got us a beautiful house in the country. it's huge, and we have anything and everything you could ever want. i'll keep on going to work, and all you have to do is stay home, and wait for me. okay? be there for me when i get home. spend time with me. be my wife. and whatever happens, happens." he told you sternly. "you know, [name], i think you were right. we have so much life left to live, both of us. we have decades left. and what better way to spend it,

than just the two of us, together?"

[pinkchaosnight]

so here is my adar request. basically in which the fem!reader is taken in ep 5 instead of galadriel. once in adar's tent (during ep 6) they talk and get into a heated discussion about sauron and eregion. their banter gets so intense that glûg walks inside to see if everything is okay and then they both snap at them in union and then glûg whispers something like "oh no, dad and mom are fighting" idk something humorous lol. (excuse my grammar mistakes - English is not my native language). i need tension like air.

omg , tysm for this ask. its absolutely flawless. i enjoyed this ep so much! i have initially thought of doing a small imagine but somehow it turned it into this long, also i diverged from the ask slightly too🥹. i have changed some dialouges and scenarios. i hope you enjoy them!

pull of threads - (adar × fem!reader)

summary: dinner with adar is never straightforward is it? when especially you are captured and essentially sort of a prisoner?

(reimagined rings of power ep 6 where reader gets captured instead of Galadriel)

pairing : adar x female!reader

notes : english is not my first language, so i apologize in advance for the errors you might encounter. i have not properly edited, so please let me know if you find any error.

the uruk leader seated across you is poking his food with a vigour, as he regards you with suspicion. humiliation might be the nicest thing you can describe about what you are feeling right now, (along with some other feelings too but you blatantly ignore them) being captured as a prisoner. you were Lady Galadriel's friend and the her aide, until a few months ago when you retired from your post. everything that was going on was so overwhelming that you had to step away from your duties and that's exactly what you did. you travelled around, mostly staying in woods and forests and praying orcs don't chase you. you almost succeeded too until you recieved a letter from Lady Galadriel stating she needed your help, now that they are going to warn Celebrimbor about Halbrand being Sauron. you were reading her letter without a care for your surrounding that unfortunately resulted in you being captured and brought to the uruk camp. and thats why you were currently in this situation, being seated in front the uruk leader. Adar, he is called, as you recall from the days Lady Galadriel captured him many months ago.

the tent which was made up of dirty rags, was surprisingly warm, with a fireplace and a huge table laden with food. combinations of food that seems almost a disgrace to the plates it hold ; with berries, onions and meat. whoever did the dinner should be tossed into the cliff. the said uruk leader was now biting into a piece of meat from god knows what, as he watches you. if he is hoping to catch something from your expression he has another thing coming for him, as you keep your face as emotionless as you can, although Eru knows for how long.

" from my brief time in your Commander's capture, I guessed she was intent on finding Sauron. almost consumed by the thought of it, one might say." his words sliced the depth of silence that hanged between you and him.

" former Commander. and it is none of your concern what her intentions are. who are you to know her mind? you who could not even resist the allure of Sauron's words?" you reply in a monotonous way, hoping he doesn't find anything there.

Adar stops as he hears those words, as he slowly puts down the piece of food he is chewing. he remembers the first time he saw you; being chained up after being captured by Galadriel. all around him was dark but you came with a jar of water and a loaf of bread for him, when everybody was kind of neglecting him, except for when they needed information and torturing. that simple act of kindess and the conversions that ranged from 'hello' to a simple 'have a good day' that followed from your side warmed what little was left of his beating heart. he remember you being firercely loyal to Galadriel yet having a mind of your own to speak if necessary. he remembers how you disagreed when your commander spoke of his children as slaves. and above all, he remembers how you exuded a sense of warmth in that cold space.

now he looks at you in surprise as he leans forward "former?"

you squirm uncomfortably in your seat. after all, how could you let him know that one of the reasons why you left the army and being her secondin command, was his words? the converstion between him, Lady Galadriel and you, when he was captured really messed up your perceptive. other elves could not see but you saw what he was trying to say; that the uruks were just as worthy of lives and living as other creations of Eru, as each had a heart. you remember disagreeing with Lady Galadriel when she mentioned them as slaves, and Adar's eyes flashing in you direction, with ambiguous emotions.

shaking out of your reverie you say "yes, i am no longer her second in command, so its really useless to have me captured in here. i can offer you nothing. "

adar chuckles at your statement, as he rises from his seat and strides towards you. he stops infront of your chair, as he looks at you with an intense stare. and you couldn't help but stare back at him. those eyes, surrounded by scars and years of mutilation, made your heart ache with pain. you wonder what he was thinking, what he was plotting behind those somber eyes of his. you always wondered what happened to him after you ran away from the campsite that day. you retired and wandered in woods after that incident, with nothing to keep you company but fragments of him in your memory. love and hatred have a fine line separating them; you often heard from your friends and in those lonely nights on the woods you wandered if that is true. if you can cross that line with bravery. something that you are afraid to reveal to anyone. he was the one in your mind and on the other side of that fine line, as swirls of feeling wound up in your heart. a dangerous feeling to have for man who is going to kill you......one day.

"who says you can offer me nothing?" he says as he strides close to your face and tucks a strand of hair back. funny he did that because you had the same thought too, of brushing the loose hair of his and tucking it back. "my children found this in your bag" he says as he pulls out the scroll from a table behind you. "we know the elven army is approaching to find Sauron, in Eregion. And that has all the confirmation i want. and i know Halbrand is Sauron"

desperation washes over you as you see the scroll of paper Lady Galadriel wrote and gave you to read before she parted ways. you never got a chance to read the rest of paper as she and you went seprate ways, before you got caught by his minions.

" whatever your plan is, it is not going to work " you say with venom, as you stand up in anger (or so you thought stubbornly), coming face to face with him.

"do you know what Sauron promised me? " Adar asks you as he studies your expression flits from anger to confusion "children, he promised me children. and he made that promise into weapons of wars, my children mere tools for his gratifications, something which can be eradicated at his whims" he says, his voice a tad quite and flushed with sadness. it took all my willpower to keep my hands from reaching his and comforting him.

" you are going to kill him Eregion, aren't you?" i ask as realisation hits me a few seconds later. he moves back a few paces, widening the tantalizing distance betweeen us and doesn't reply as he keeps his back to me.

" you cannot, i think it is his plan too. i just have feeling in my heart this is exactly what he wants. for you to lead your army to him. we must ask Lady Galadriel's advice" i say as he turns and shoots me a look of disbelief.

"why should i listen to the words of someone whose race is hellbent on eradicating us from the face of this plane?" he shouts as he paces towards you, shaking with anger. "i did not capture you to hear your advice. Eregion will fall and Sauron with it" he says as closes the distance between us, trapping me between the chair and him.

"i want Sauron to fall too, i want to kill him and make sure he is permanently wiped off from this earth. but not in this way." i shriek in his face, which was merely inches apart from mine.

"i do not know why you care if i lead my army or not " he hisses as he moves back from me again, his eyes capturing my own ones in anger and perhaps sadness.

there is a tipping point for everyone's anger and you could feel his words pushing you to yours. you could no longer hold the feelings erupting inside you as you shouts." i care because this will all be ending in blooshed. i care because all my loved ones are going there and i don't want them to die. i care for the lives that will be sacrificed if you chose to follow this foolish plan of yours. and i care that something will happen to you and you will not make it out alive"

reality of the words registers in your brain as soon as the words escape your mouth. you have opened your heart and mouth and let all the dam of emotions you kept inside to turn into a river. and now you are going to suffer the consequences, preferably being submerged in those same waters, which you so kept in binds inside your now erratically beating organ.

Adar was stunned, staring at you in utter silence. his heart tingled, with the same warmth he felt months ago in your presence. his ears has always been the receiver of abuse and bad news, never the object to receive the sentiment with which you uttered the words quite a few seconds ago; words with care...and love. he slowly steps forward you, his hands unclenching from the remnant of his anger and reaching towards your face "you ....care about me.....?" his voice is a mere whisper, tinged with something you couldn't place. this goddess, this beacon of kindness care about him?

you wanted to melt into those eyes of his, that is oh so mysterious and perhaps you would have, if the tents did not flap open suddenly.

" lord father, glûg here. i heard shouts coming from outside. i was worried and just came inside to check if you are okay and if nan--" glûg stops as he sees you standing closely to his lord father. you notice his surprise being replaced with a slight smirk in your direction.

"get out" adar and you both says in unison, as you turn towards the orc in annoyance.

"certainly lord father" glûg says as turns away to exit "just lover's quarrel, lord father and naneth better make up". he exits as quickly as he can, muttering to himself.

you turn your head towards him, only to catch his eyes searching your face "yes i do care about you...." your voice is shaking but not in anger and with some other emotions you tried so hard to bury.

a flicker of emotions passes over his eyes as he glazes his vision over you "you think you are the only one who cares? why did you even think i captured you instead of your Commander, when i could have easily caught her and gotten the information too? why did you think you never encountered any orcs while you were sauntering through the woods? never have you escaped from my mind for a moment from the day we met. i tried so hard to keep every emotions i am feeling, hidden from you. but tonight i can't and i won't. i know i am a monster, an abomination for someone so kind as you. but tonight i am baring the one thing that has not been tainted by the evil , to your hands."

he places your hand on his chest, as you your eyes brim with tears. you feel his heart beating erratically, mirroring yours. "from the day you pulled me from that dark abyss, i decided that this heart will only belong to one person, to the one person this heart wholeheartedly loves."

time stops as you hears his words, it is like honey being poured into your ears. "so does mine too" you reciprocate, as you places his hands on your chest. "you are neither a monster nor an abomination. you are beautiful as Eru's any other creation. i even left the army because of you. because you keep on invading my everyday thoughts. and i kept thinking of how you are my enemy and i how i should hate you. but my heart never responded to any negative emotions, for all it had was love for you."

fianlly you can let this emotion run free, this plaguing need for him that you tried so hard to conceal. you would have stood there for eternity, for all of your immortal life, with his warm hands pressing yours into his chest. no words are exchanged betweeen you two in these seconds; no words are needed as the beating of your heart and the measure of your breath are enough to convey the feelings pouring off from both of you. he slowly closes the already miniscule distance betweeen you, as you step forward at the same time too, the tantalizing distance between your lips almost unbearable. you can feel his breath near your mouth, as your lips part with breathlessness and need. you just need to lean forward and place your mouth. you slowly reach forward, just enough to press the lips against his----

" lord father, i got a sudden report that---what is happening here?" glûg's voice rang across the tent as you and adar both turned to his direction.

" GET OUT GLÛG" you both cries in unison as poor glûg scurries off, being banished from the tent second time. but not before he catches a warm smile passing over his lord father. glûg catches from his peripheral vision, of his lord father pressing a chaste kiss in your cheek before placing his forehead against yours and smiling a genuine smile, which he has never seen.

'things will be good from now on' glûg thinks as he passes over to the next tent, thinking of the elf that thawed the ice of his lord father's heart. the one his lord father told him about months; the one lord father instructed him to call naneth in the future. and the one who made his lord father whole again after eons.

extra notes - all the asks i got, i will update them by this week itself, tysm for requesting! please leave a like and reblog and if you enjoyed reading them. hope everyone have an amazing day :)

[yelenasdiary]

Hiii

I saw your requests say open, but I know you're struggling with motivation to get content out so absolutely no pressure for you to do this.

I'd really love a Wanda x diabetic!reader shot where reader isn't looking after themselves very well and isn't checking their blood sugar. They've been feeling bad the last couple of days and keep trying to sleep it off. They end up having a seizure due to their bloods being so low and Wanda gives a stern but needed talking to.

Again, no pressure for you to write this but it'd be strongly appreciated. Thank you :)

Feeling Low

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Diabetic! Avenger! Reader (Platonic)

Summary: After having a seizure due to ignoring your low blood sugar, Wanda gives you a much needed talking to. 

Angst, Comfort.

Warnings: Mentions of Low Blood levels, Reader has a Seizure| 0.8K

AC: Thank you for sending this, please note that I am not diabetic, so I only write this based off research. If I have said anything wrong, please don’t hesitate to let me know so I can come back and fix it. I hope you enjoy this x 

Since the last mission was a bust, you swore to better yourself for the team. You worked harder in the gym, harder in training, longer making sure that mission reports had every single detail you could remember. On top of all of that, you’ve had little to no time for yourself. If you weren’t working on yourself, you were helping the young avengers with training and any other things they asked for. 

All this overworking yourself caught the eye of everybody in the team but especially Wanda. She’s your closest friend, how could she not notice the signs before anybody else? She has always kept an eye on you because you have always been there for her when nobody else was and being an Avenger has its risks. 

During the week, you started to feel unwell. You thought it was just all the extra work you’d been giving your body but the more you tried to sleep it off, you never felt better. You made your way downstairs to get yourself a bottle of water when it hit you. Your seizure took over and you fell to the cold floor. Your body moved uncontrollably, Wanda rushed to your aid, yelling out for help as she gently moved you, so you were laying on your side. Natasha called for medical who wasted no time rushing to help. 

Your eyes fluttered open slowly, you were tired, and your body ached. Wanda was sitting beside your bed in the medical bay reading a book you could barely read the title of. “What happened?” You asked in a soft mutter, your mouth felt dry. Wanda looked up at you, placing her book down after placing her bookmark on her current page. 

“You had a diabetic seizure” she replied. 

“W-what? No, I couldn’t have” you frowned, “I always check my levels” you added. 

“It seems like you haven’t been checking them for the last few days” Wanda lent forward, placing her hand on top of yours, “you’ve been working yourself to the ground to prove yourself when you don’t need too” she added. 

You shook your head, wanting nothing more than to avoid the conversation, “I must have just gotten busy and forgot” you argued, beating yourself up on the inside for letting this to happen. Wanda sensed that you weren’t in the mood to talk about your health right now and she didn’t want to push you. “Get some rest, you need it” she smiled softly reminding you just how tired you were. 

----

The next day, after you were discharged from the medical bay, you found Wanda waiting by your room. “Is everything okay?” You asked, opening the door to your room.

“We need to talk” Wanda replied, following after you and closing your door behind her. “Wands, you don’t need to give me the talk” you sighed. 

“I do” Wanda said sternly, “I need you to understand how important this is. This isn’t just another seizure or a mistake, Y/n” she added. You could hear the concern and worry in her tone as you turned to face her. 

“You’re my closest friend. I can’t lose you, okay? I’ve seen a lot of things but seeing you like that and there was nothing I could do? It broke me. I know you have this need to prove to us that you didn’t mean for that mission to go bust but ignoring your health and blood levels isn’t going to do that. We all love you; we know that what happened wasn’t your fault. Nobody is beating you up about it but yourself and I won’t allow you to do this to yourself. 

I will help you with whatever you need, you know I will. But I need you to promise me that you’ll take better care of your health. I don’t mind if you need me to remind you to check your levels or take your insulin, damn I will even follow you around with a stash of bananas if I need too” she added. 

You couldn’t help but chuckle at her last comment, your smile also bringing a smile to her lips. “I’m sorry I worried you” you replied, “I guess you’re right. I got carried away with work that I didn’t stop to think about myself, and I promise from now on I won’t let my levels get so low again” you added before embracing Wanda into a tight hug. You she needed it just as much as you did, she hugged you back just as tight. 

“I love you, please don’t forget that either” she said softly. 

“You literally just threatened to follow me around with a stash of banana’s, how could I not love you?” You replied as you both pulled away, causing you both to chuckle. “Have you checked your levels today?” She asked. 

“Yep! Wasn’t allowed to leave medical unless I had” you smiled. 

“Good, so they did listen to me” Wanda smirked.

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[siriusblack-the-third]

Sirius Black: Looks and Behaviour

Honestly, a few of these are canon, and I'll put that in brackets. Most of them are shamelessly self indulgent tho. Please note that this is the first part of The Sirius Black Headcanons Series, and I hope you enjoy!

.

Tall ASF. He towers over everybody, and combine that with his tendency to stick to the etiquette lessons he had been given as a child— he stands with his shoulders rolled back and his chin held high, straight-backed and arms at his side, sometimes with his hands in his pockets— he looks intimidating. He never slouches. (see: literally every time Harry mentions him)

He walks powerfully. Long strides, feet perfectly placed, arms swinging just right. Sometimes he walks with one hand in his pocket, curled around the pocket watch he carries around, given to him by James' parents for his 17th birthday and engraved with the Potter crest. People see him coming and clear out of his way immediately, and he does not even notice. He is the kind of person that attracts attention everywhere he goes.

Silvery grey eyes, high cheekbones, straight nose, strong jaw and determined eyebrows, full lips that make him look intimidating. Dense, silky hair, pitch black in colour and slightly wavy. Sirius is a living example of the fact that True Beauty is striking and terrifying. (see: again, literally every time Harry mentions him. Boy is calling Sirius handsome even during his death scene.)

He prefers to keep his hair long like his grandfather does, with the difference of tying a bun instead of a proper gentleman's queue. If not for the leather jackets and the ratty muggle jeans and the band t-shirts, he would have always been mistaken for Arcturus.

He has a lot of body hair, and he hates that his facial hair grows so fast, because he likes to stay clean shaven. His arms and legs and chest are hairy and he does not care much about that, but he likes it when his face looks clean and well-groomed, so he shaves every other day.

When he speaks, he is very articulate and concise, and often gets teased for it by Remus and Sirius (James is the same as him). His grammar is immaculate, and he prefers not to use expletives. He does use them, especially when he stubs his toe or drops something or some such happening, but he does not use them when insulting people.

He is always polite to people, even when he is arguing with them (see: ootp, his argument with molly). He will argue without raising his voice, because he firmly believes that greater volume does not equal improved argument, and only raises his voice in extremely stressful situations where he needs to bring attention to what he is saying.

Has concrete values and views, and refuses to bend or change them for anyone (the only exceptions are James and Harry). He is the kind to research and read before he forms an opinion, and does not hesitate to say that he is not educated enough to have an opinion on something if that is the case. He hates people who behave like sheep, and much prefers to do his own independent research and form his own independent opinions. (see: gof, he tells Harry he isn't sure Snape is a DE)

#1 Overbearing Fusspot™. James might have been the mother hen of their group, but Sirius was the Stressed Dad™. He is that overprepared airport dad; always worrying about this and that and making sure everyone has everything ready, and he extends that same parent behaviour to Harry after Prisoner of Azkaban (see: literally every interaction between him and Harry, he is such a parent).

Cares about only a few select people: James, Lily, Harry, Mr and Mrs Potter, Remus, Peter, Andromeda and Ted and Baby Tonks. He could not give less of a fuck about everybody else— he has a small circle and he likes it that way. After Peter's betrayal, that list reduces down only to Harry, Andy, Ted and Baby Tonks.

[tarotofhope]

PAC: Self-Care Tips For Your Own Well Being

(Please Read My Pinned post *IMPORTANT NOTE* before selecting a Pile)

Pick an Image by meditating and selecting the image you feel called to. You can be attracted towards more than 1 image. If you are not able to select maybe this reading isn't for you.

Pile 1:

Cards: Father Of Wands, The Hermit And Politics- 7 Of Swords.

Welcome to your reading, Pile 1. Beware of snakes in your own garden. You need to stay away from people who are controlling, manipulating, taking advantage of you, those who are not grateful for you being there for them. It also seems like you're not able to tell good people from bad ones, because of this, you might also sometimes have a wrong judgement of certain people. Your self care tip would be to keep yourself away and safe from people who seem to be your friend/good towards you, but is actually a backbiter. Some may be rude towards you openly as well, people/friends/family who use you or talk to you only when they want something from you and then they leave you, people who always treat you as a second option or a bystander. So, the card 'Politics' which is the '7 of Swords' card in tarot fits well here because people might be playing politics with you, backstabbing you, tricking you and what not. I'm also hearing defame, so, for a few of you, it could be that you're a popular person, famous for your work, and some people whom you consider friends might actually be slandering you behind your back. One advice is, try to observe certain patterns in people's behaviour, try to observe closely and decide for yourself. See, I'm not trying to scare you. It's just what I felt from the cards.

So I wish you good luck. Love, Light, Peace and Hope to you.

Pile 2:

Cards: 6 Of Wands, Ace Of Swords and Morality-Queen Of Swords.

Welcome to your reading, Pile 2.

You're someone who is in the process of awakening. Your intuition is at point, you're hunches are mostly correct. You're aware of your body needs, what it likes and what it doesn't, your mind and soul. People might perceive you as awkward, weird or they might also think that you're out of your mind, irrational even, but it is so because you have unique thoughts and ideas. Let them have their own perceptions. You just need to know that you don't need to fit in. Your ideas are gold, don't let others let you down. You just need to keep standing out and fight to remain there. You feel like executing a weird plan/business idea or project, do it. Fight for your passions. Your words, yes, your words have a lot of positive effect(either written or oral), speak them, write them, live them. Fight until you succeed, it's not going to be easy but it's going to be worth all the effort.

So I wish you good luck. Love, light, peace and hope to you.

Pile 3:

Cards: Death, The Emperor and Awareness-The Chariot.

Welcome to your reading, Pile 3.

I can see 2 phases here. It's going to be different for everybody. 1st phase is, some beloved one of yours, someone very close to you might have passed away, so you feel like the world has come to eat you, you feel so small, like this is the end of the world but no my dear, let me tell you one thing, only if you allow the universe and open up your heart shall you receive something better. Remember that change is essential no matter how heart breaking or soul wrenching. You need to grow physically, mentally and emotionally. Your life needs a lot more organisation, de-cluttering and changes here and there. Your body is your home, if you don't try to heal yourself, if you resist change, you'll not be able to function properly in the long term. 2nd phase is, you went through a huge glow up, you took care of your body and your mental health. Somehow, you look much better, much healthier, meaning you already went through change and put the required effort. You are much calmer and serene now. If you've gone through this phase, nobody would be able to break you.

So, that was all. I wish you good luck. Love, light, peace and hope to you.

Pile 4:

Cards: 9 Of Wands, The Moon, Breakthrough-Justice.

Welcome to your reading, Pile 4. It seems like you've got a lot of trust issues, my dear pile 4. You've build a wall around you and you don't let people in. You might be secretive and don't like to expose yourself in the fear that people might harm you or take advantage of you. You might also be very picky and have very few people that are very close to you. This all could be due to a heartbreak for some people while others are like that by nature. Someone here is also rejecting proposals and not giving love a chance. For a few of you, I'm also hearing guilt, you might also carry a guilt within you, it could be a past mistake, a wrong decision, a fault, a lie or anything which had harmed you or anybody else. Forgiveness is necessary, for yourself and others. There is a lack of balance here but you need to know that you will be fine. Not everybody is here to hurt you, so you can open up and as far as guilt is concerned, do things which bring positivity in yours and others' lives. Help people as much as you can. Fill the void. Be that hope for somebody, a helping hand for another and so on.

So, that's all.

I wish you good luck.

Love, light, peace and hope to you.

Pile 5:

Cards: 10 Of Cups Reverse, The Moon, Stress- 7 Of Wands.

Welcome to your reading Pile 5. You seem to want to have everything under your own control, which is not healthy either for you or others. You are either over-protective or very possessive or both. There is a lack of balance. You need to calm down a bit and let go of things because the universe has not burdened only you to take all the responsibilities of yourself and others as well. So, start surrendering things to the universe/God/ whatever power you believe in. It might be like a strong urge to do things by yourself and not taking the help of others. For some of you, this could also be a toxic habit of imposing your way of doing things on others/deciding for others unnecessarily even when not asked for. This pile especially needs to meditate a lot. Looks like you guys have strong leadership qualities which is a really good thing but using authoritative power correctly is very important. Some of you also have a habit of clinging to toxic people/your own possessions, which needs to be changed. I'm getting very maternal/nurturing energy from your pile. Remember it's an energy that I'm talking about which applies to both the genders. You're like mommy/daddy of your friend group. If this is not you then this could be your parent or your guardian. Either way, this habit needs to be controlled and balanced, even if you're the victim of such issues, you need to talk to that other person and create your own healthy boundaries.

So, this was all I got.

I wish you good luck. Love, light, peace and hope to you.

Thank you so much for being here. I post PAC readings every Tuesday and Friday. Do love and support by reblogging, liking or following.

———————————♡ ♡ ♡———————————

[venuscarrotsoup]

Gyomei and Kagaya friendship analysis/yap

Everybody overlooks this relationship, not on purpose of course, but it’s not really noticed. Yes, Ubuyashiki views all the demon slayers as his children, especially the hashira, but him and Gyomei have a special bond.

Side note: I find it cute how Kagaya calls all the demon slayers by their first names because no parent would call their child by their last name 😭💓🤞

Gyomei was around 18 when the temple incident happened, he was rescued by Kagaya shortly after, meaning he’s been close to Kagaya for around 9 years, allowing them to have a really close bond.

Kagaya did so much for Gyomei, he saved him from being executed, and saw him differently from everyone else. Gyomei felt like others viewed him as a monster after the incident, but Kagaya knew of his innocence, and saved him. And when Gyomei broke down, Kagaya held him and comforted him. Gyomei even stated that Kagaya would say exactly what one wanted to hear, he told Gyomei that he wasn’t a murderer, which caused Gyomei to break down, as he was experiencing guilt and self-loathing after that incident.

Gyomei would’ve been there to see the Ubuyashiki family grow, since all the kids are around 8 years old. I feel like Gyomei and Kagaya have been there for each other every step of the way, I believe they were good friends, despite having distance due to Kagaya’s status as the master.

Kagaya trusts all his children, but he had the most trust with Gyomei, because of that strengthened bond from all the time they’ve spent by each others side. Kagaya entrusted Gyomei with his plan, and I believe he also wanted to say a final goodbye to one of his closest friends, he knew Gyomei would understand, because he has such a kind, calm and understanding soul, he wouldn’t freak out, he would simply go along with the plan and carry it out in Kagaya’s honour.

I like these two images paired together, it’s a nice parallel. In the first image Gyomei is at his lowest, and had just escaped death, relieved and emotional due to Kagaya’s actions, and Kagaya is there to comfort him. In the second image, Kagaya is at his lowest, his illness at its worst, and he is about to meet death, Gyomei is there to support him. And of course, Gyomei is crying in both images, and Kagaya is smiling, just like his calm, serene self always is. It’s a nice contrast as Kagaya was part of the reason Gyomei escaped death, and gyomei was part of the plan that would ensue Kagaya’s death.

Their relationship truly is beautiful, and I wish we had a bit more content of their friendship, because I know it was a strong one.

Another detail I really liked is how gyomei got so angry here when sanemi disrespected Kagaya, veins were popping out of him and everything. Gyomei is normally a calm and collected guy, but Kagaya is literally such a good friend to Gyomei that he can’t stand anyone disrespecting him, that was such a nice detail.

Look at him, still trying to remain calm but not being able to mask his anger because Kagaya has just been screamed at by this roach. Gyomei obviously really appreciates Kagaya for what he did for him (freeing him from death.) and it’s so adorable.

In conclusion, what I’m trying to say here is that these two have a very good relationship/bond which is very underrated and overlooked. I only came to this conclusion when I first watched season 4 episode 8, as it’s not very obvious since the two act professional in the only episodes they’re together before that (s1 e22-23). Please nobody try and twist my words to make it out like I’m shipping the two because I’m not, key word in the title: FRIENDSHIP.

Kagaya himself is underrated as well, give my king some more attention!! Anyways if you read this THANK YOU SO MUCH, I needed to yap abt them, and plz any gyomei fans and even better, people who share the same views as me on this, moot me up on TikTok at @inlovewithkorra <3

[withleeknow]

wishful thinking. (07)

chapter seven: built to break

summary: the instruction was plain and simple: no strings attached. but you should’ve known from the beginning that it could never apply to you and him.

pairing: minho x f!reader rating: 18+ (minors dni) genres/warnings: friends to lovers, friends with benefits au, college au; fluff, angst, smut; the gorlies are fighting...?, not much for warnings in this chapter ig word count: 4.3k note: i finally got off my ass and wt is finally back lol. i had a last minute change of plans and thought "oh! you know what would be pretty neat? if we prolong the angst so everyone can be sad for longer!" <3 and this is how i announce that the next chapter is not wt8 but wt7.5 and it's written from his pov <3 merry christmas

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

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I’ll hold my breath as I wait for your answer I’ll leave it up to you Tell me whether it’s yes or no Baby, love me or leave me tonight

Love Me or Leave Me - Day6

The warning signs, they're there. You can see them before they materialize. You know your own tells.

Your metaphorical bags are packed, your shoes are already on. You're about to run again, leave a half empty house before it has the chance to become a home. No one has to tell you that you're a flight risk; you're well aware of it yourself.

Wednesday Min: got plans tonight? You: booked and busy with ze old canvas Min: tomorrow? You: same thing probably. sorry Min: u're working hard lately You: yeah this one is just driving me crazy and i need it to turn out decent Min: it'll be perfect. it's u

Thursday Min: running errands at the store Min: want me to bring u anything? that caramel popcorn u like?

Friday Min: don't work too hard. remember to eat

That was three days ago, the last time you'd heard from him after you left him on read. It wasn't a complete lie; this project is driving you kinda crazy and you do need it to end up a decent piece, but you weren't exactly holed up in your apartment to slave over your painting. And you suppose Minho didn't find it all that suspicious because you tend to do this sometimes - disappear for a couple of days and force yourself to focus whenever you had a project to finish, before you come back to everybody again. You've come back to him before; it stands to reason that you'll do it again.

It's been about two weeks since you'd seen him, though the memories of that evening are still fresh in your mind - the evening of the group dinner, when he'd kissed you goodnight and left for his parents' house the following day. True to his words, he did send you pictures of the cats - ones of Soonie wearing a matching hoodie with him, a few of Doongie and Dori napping at the foot of his bed. There was an accompanying text - The kids miss you - along with a frowning emoji, and it made you wonder if what he really meant was I miss you.

You wanted him to miss you, because you missed him too.

The photos brought a smile to your face despite the predicament you found yourself in. A smile that was short lived, a smile that was soon wiped off when you realized your heart shouldn't be swelling with that much affection for him. It shouldn't, but the truth was that it did and you don't know how to live with it.

Love isn't something you've ever learned to hold.

It's beautiful yet full of thorns, and your hands are too clumsy to ever keep it from slipping from your fingers.

You remember when you first met Minho. Freshman year, at some popular senior's house party.

It feels like forever ago when you were just an awkward freshman at orientation who didn't have a single clue on how to make friends. Jess was your first friend in college, and you'll always be grateful that you got along well enough that she adopted you into the group with the rest of the guys.

You didn't cross paths with Minho until you were already acquainted with everyone else. On the night of the party, you remember being enamored with him for those couple of hours, and it wasn't the side effect of too many solo cups of cheap beer. Who in their right mind wouldn't be infatuated with him? He was beautiful, absolutely alluring, and you would always tell him as much.

Back then, he had brown hair, slighter shorter than now but it was tinted with the most gorgeous shade of red. You didn't know much about Minho, only been told that he was pretty quiet and might be off-putting to new people. It was sort of true; that night, you were intimidated by the aura he exuded. Mysterious, couldn't be bothered, didn't seem to give a shit. He looked like a scary little thing, while you were the new kid who was only trying to observe everyone's dynamics, not wanting to overstep any unspoken boundary.

To this day, you're still not sure what really happened, how you two immediately clicked and he's been one of the most important parts of your life ever since.

Maybe it was just him. Maybe it's always been him.

Minho, the one who makes you smile when all you want to do is curl up and cry. The one who makes you laugh when you look for joy but the search comes up empty. The one who grounds you every time you lose your way. Your anchor, the safe harbor you can always return to. The light at the end of a long, long tunnel.

You don't know where you stand, don't know where it goes from here now that everything is changing. He told you so himself, that nothing changed for him, but how could he possibly know that everything is changing for you? And it infuriates you to no end because you don't even have anyone to talk about this with. You're the only person whose world is being turned upside down after all.

You can't tell your friends because they can't know about you and Minho. You can't tell Minho because what would you even say? That you think you're in love with him? That the implications of what it means are devastating to you?

For the first time, you regret everything. Kissing him that night, sleeping with him, becoming whatever this is with him. Letting down your guard and falling for him somewhere along the way and you didn't even stop to notice it. You regret all of the decisions you've made up until now, because they've only led you to the point of no return, the point of losing him. You made bad decision after bad decision after bad decision, until you couldn't anymore. All along, there's been no one else to blame but you.

Maybe it hasn't happened yet, but it's inevitable. You will lose him. You are going to lose him.

There's no other ending, no other alternative that you can imagine. You're going to leave because you're a coward and it's what you do best. You ruin things before they get a chance to hurt you. You leave because if you don't leave then you'll be left behind, and you'd rather not bear the brunt of it.

Now, when you think of Minho, the thought is always accompanied by a painful reminder - Nothing changed for him.

When you get to the cafe, Hyunjin and Seungmin are already seated in a corner booth, three drinks in front of them, one of which they'd ordered for you before you arrived.

You slide into the seat next to Hyunjin, smiling at him appreciatively for the drink. There's still over half an hour before you have to walk to your shared class, over half an hour before Seungmin parts ways with you two to do whatever or whoever it is that Seungmin does on his off days.

"I still think it's Nara," Hyunjin says, casually sipping his iced coffee.

"Nara from your Lit class last semester?"

"Yup."

"Why?"

"I saw them talking at a party once."

"Okay. And?"

"And what? That's it."

"That's... all the evidence you have to back up your claim?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

You wave your hands in front of them. "What are you bozos talking about?"

"He’s still trying to figure out who Minho is hooking up with," Seungmin is the one who answers you without missing a beat, then he turns back to Hyunjin. "Anyway, it can't be Nara. She's dating Jaehyun on the basketball team."

The friend next to you flails his arms like a petulant child, like he couldn't have possibly seen this coming, like he was so sure that he had finally solved the mystery. "Great. I'm back to square one again."

You straighten your back and reach for your drink, tentatively gulping down the beverage as if it'll hide the fact that you've gone stiff the second this topic is brought up. You feel bad about it, sure. These are your friends that you're lying to after all. They don't have to look anywhere far; the answer to the secret is right in front of them.

"We're still on about that?" you ask in the calmest, most nonchalant voice you can muster. You usually consider yourself a believable liar (which, to be honest, isn't really a flex at all), but whenever someone mentions this little arrangement between you and Minho that shouldn't be common knowledge for anyone else, you feel like you're been put under a spotlight for the whole world to scrutinize.

"Duh," Hyunjin says. "You know, I'm kinda surprised that you don't know. You two are like, attached at the hip sometimes."

You give him a thoughtless shrug, your hands fiddling with the sticker on the plastic cup as you avoid looking at either of your friends. "Maybe he just wants to keep private things private, y'know? You wouldn't like either if all of us is suddenly all up in your business. And besides, what if it's just casual?"

Hyunjin scoffs. "Please, I'm an open book. I tell you guys everything. I tell you every time I hook up with someone."

"Yeah, but you see, literally no one needs to know that," Seungmin says.

The taller one only scoffs, waving his hands around dismissively in Seungmin's direction before he turns to you. "If it was just casual, would he save her name as - oh my God, I forgot what her contact name is. Freaking bird person or something."

You make a face. "What?"

"Dude, seriously?" Seungmin rolls his eyes. "You forgot one word? Dove? What is the matter with you?"

Perhaps it's the half-hearted teasing judgment in Seungmin's voice that makes Hyunjin take offense and drop the topic. The conversation veers off course when they start bickering like children in the busy cafe. You suppose it works in your favor, but you can't focus. You drown it all out.

Your hand is still on the cup but the sticker has been left alone and forgotten, half peeled off, half still clinging to the plastic underneath the condensation.

The single word repeats itself in your mind, over and over and over again.

The entire time you're in class, you don't really focus on anything. You can't bring yourself to listen to whatever your professor is saying, not after what Hyunjin and Seungmin told you earlier. At some point, your friend has to nudge your shoulder to bring you back down to earth when usually, you're the one who has to remind Hyunjin to pay attention. Class ends soon enough though; time tends to fly by when your mind is lost elsewhere.

"What's wrong with you today?" he asks with his bag slung over his shoulder, slowing down his steps to match your speed as you walk out of the lecture hall together.

You scratch the back of your neck sheepishly. "Nothing's wrong. I was just tired."

"You wanna grab dinner with me and Felix?"

Any other day, you would've agreed in a heartbeat. But today, you want to be alone. Sometimes, you'd rather wallow in your own misery than settle for a temporary distraction.

You're still stuck on the conversation from earlier, on the small detail that Hyunjin and Seungmin had let slip in the cafe.

Dove.

His dove.

Maybe it doesn't mean anything. Perhaps it's only a nickname that he's assigned to you out of mere platonic fondness, but it makes you conscious about the dove on your own wrist nonetheless, the one that you feel compelled to hide from your friends underneath your long sleeve.

"No, it's okay," you tell Hyunjin. "I'll just go home and sleep it off."

"Okay. I can walk you for a bit," he says. "Just wait with me here. Minho's coming to give me back something he borrowed."

"Minho's coming?" you ask too quickly for it to sound casual. There's a panicked edge that you can hear in your own voice, though you don't think Hyunjin picks it up as he unlocks his phone and types something on the screen.

"Yeah, he was at the library. He's coming over right now, should only be a couple minutes. Then I'll walk back with you."

You shift on your feet uneasily, but you cover it up by rubbing your hands on your arms to pretend like you're just cold. There's no excuse that you could think of that would justify why you can't stand here with Hyunjin for just two more minutes, without giving it away the fact that you're avoiding Minho.

You take in a quiet breath, put on your best brave face. Casual, nonchalant. It's just Minho. Just Minho...

He comes up from behind, where you can't see him. A warm hand gently lands on your shoulder, and it takes everything not to shy away from his touch. It takes even more not to lean into his side.

You've missed it. You've missed him.

"Hey." He smiles at you while Hyunjin only gets a nod in acknowledgment.

"Hey." You return the smile, though you're sure you look a little rigid. You can tell there's an inkling of confusion in his eyes when he senses that your energy is off, but you're thankful he doesn't comment on it, at least not in front of Hyunjin anyway.

You don't notice the paper bag in his other hand until he hands it to your other friend with a simple Thanks, to which Hyunjin just nods along in a silent You're welcome.

"I was going to walk with Y/N for a bit and then meet Felix for food," he tells Minho. "You wanna get burgers with me and Lix?"

"No, thanks. I'm not hungry, I had a late lunch. I'll take the walk though."

You didn't plan on being alone with Minho today, even though you knew you had to talk to him eventually. You just thought you had a little more time, at least until you got your shit together and face him with a brave façade.

Minho's hand brushes yours the entire time you walk, and it's nothing if not confusing. It's unbearable, the way your fingers twitch with the urge to intertwine them with his.

It persists even after Hyunjin has waved you goodbye to you two and turned to head wherever he and Felix agreed to meet. You think Minho would hold your hand now that it's just you and him, but he doesn't. He lets your skin continue to brush, lets you suffer alone and wanting in your sunken disappointment.

It has very little to do with him and everything to do with you, the conflicting thoughts inside your head piling up one by one the more time you spend in his presence.

Dove, the brief display of jealousy at Yeonjun's party, the way he looks at you sometimes that you can't really decipher the meaning behind, how he kisses you so tenderly that it can't possibly be strictly platonic. You want these things to all mean something, and yet...

You want him to hold your hand, but you know you'd wave it off if he tries to reach for your fingers. You want him to stop you right then and there to kiss you breathless, just as he had that night two weeks ago, even though you're sure you'd only dodge his lips and push him away. You want to stay, you want to leave. You're terrified of things changing, but you wish that something, anything, would be different for him; that you aren't the only one who's spinning out of control. You love him, but you wish you didn't.

Eventually, Minho asks, "You okay?"

It's not until now that you realize this is the first time you've ever been this quiet around him. You purse your lips, glancing down briefly at your feet as you keep on treading the rest of the way home. "Yeah, all good. I'm just tired," you tell him, visibly unenthusiastic despite the smile you try to fake. "I just need to sleep it off."

"The project stressing you out?"

"I guess, yeah."

"And here I thought maybe you were avoiding me," he says, half a joke, half inquisitive. "Were you?"

"Was I what?"

"Were you avoiding me?"

You give him a weird look, one that's meant to be dismissive and call his question ridiculous even though you know you've been caught. And maybe it's the over-the-top glance that you throw his way and the way your pitch goes higher when you reply, "Why would I be avoiding you?" that makes him stop walking.

On the other side of the street, there's a couple of kids in high school uniforms, exchanging shy glances and sharing fond giggles.

Minho calls your name softly, and it's like you're just waiting for the ball to drop. You don't want to turn back and look at him, but what other option do you have? What else is there to do?

You can't decipher the expression on his face. He's still calm, but the air has turned serious, the silence of the mostly empty streets surrounding you only serves as the soundtrack of your impending heartbreak. The tender and innocent laughter fades away when young love moves further and further from where you stand. "What?" you ask with faux nonchalance as you look at him, another attempt at stalling. Biding your time even though a few more minutes aren't going to do any good for your case.

Anyone with half a braincell could tell that clearly it's not the truth, let alone someone who has learned to read you better than the back of his hand. He doesn't look like he believes you, though he doesn't push it, much to your surprise.

"Okay," he says after a moment of studying you, and this should be the part where you heave a sigh of relief because he's letting you off the hook for now, but your chest doesn't feel lighter at all. Your head is clouded with dread, with the anticipation that you're only delaying the inevitable.

You walk the rest of the way in awful silence, because you know that he knows something is wrong. You try your best to appear composed, but he sees right through you. You know he does.

You must look like a frightened animal, one that's about to take off running any second now.

When you reach your building, Minho is quick to keep you with him before you can make up a lame excuse and bolt.

"Hey," he starts, his voice so impossibly gentle that it hurts. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

Heavier and heavier, it weighs you down until you feel like your chest is going to collapse. The nerves gnaw on you, clawing into you until you feel your heartbeat quicken, the overwhelming dread simmering low in your belly.

"I know," you say, but deep down, what you're really thinking is, Not this. This is the one thing I can't tell you.

"Is everything okay?"

It's the way that Minho's got his gaze set on you with those deep brown irises, the concern so apparent in them that it hurts you. It's the way he looks like he wants to reach out and touch you - a comforting hand on your shoulder or your back like you're so familiar with - but he has to hold himself back or you might slip away.

It's him, how he always puts you first, how he cares about you in ways that you've never been cared about before. He understands you, he sees you. It feels like it could be love if you let the lines blur just enough.

Is love supposed to hurt? Like this?

Maybe it's not that you don't know how to hold love. Maybe it's because you're not meant to hold it at all. Insignificant, unlovable.

And... it's the reminder that cuts through the dread like the sharpest knife.

You leave his question unanswered, because nothing is okay and you can't tell him any of it. You can't lie to him either, because it's the last thing that you want to do to him.

Instead, you ask, "We're good... right? We're okay?"

"What do you mean?"

You gesture between the two of you, though you're not sure what that's supposed to signify. "Just...," you trail off for a second, hesitant. "Nothing's changed, right?"

Minho doesn't answer right away. He looks at you for a moment, searching for something in your eyes that you can't tell if he's able to find.

He nods, seemingly wistful as he says, "Nothing's changed."

He seems unsure about it, at least more than he was just a few weeks ago when he told you the same thing in your apartment with his fingers wrapped around your wrist. The tug between his brows - though barely noticeable - tells you as much.

Is it because something is different now? Or does he only sound uncertain out of concern, because of you and how you're acting?

Then he continues, "For me, at least."

And there it is.

It's the confirmation this time around that turns you inside out so his simple words could cut into you.

You swallow thickly, put on a smile like you're pleased with his answer even though you're trying your hardest to stop yourself from shaking. Whatever energy you had left is instantly drained from you just because of a few words.

Your sentences get smashed together, tangled up like barbed wire and they only make you bleed when you try to pull them apart. All your nervous tics coming out to play despite your best efforts to keep them at bay. A frustrated hand running through your hair, gripping at the roots a little harshly. Your bottom lip pulled between your teeth and your eyes turning glassy for a split second before you blink the moisture away, because you can't let Minho see you like this. See you trying to keep your pathetic heart intact while he's none the wiser.

He's fine. And unlike you, he's going to be okay when this is over.

Unavoidable and inevitable, the end will come whether you like it or not. You're the only one who won't make it out unscathed, and it will only shatter you into more pieces the longer you drag this out.

Just rip the bandaid off. Salvage whatever you can. Stop digging the grave even deeper for yourself.

One second, then two, then three. You don't speak until you have enough faith that your voice is even enough to carry out a few sentences.

"Okay, uhm... I think I need some time for myself. We should..." But it isn't, and you crack halfway through. The sound is deafening to your own ears. "We should take a break. We should stop this."

Minho doesn't question if you mean the secret between the two of you, or your friendship entirely. Instead, he asks, "Why?"

"I told you." You clear your throat. "I need time for myself."

You can't tell what he's thinking, but the knife twists inside of you nonetheless.

He takes a step closer, you take a step back.

You watch as his face falls, and the same feeling mirrors itself within the confines of your ribcage. Your heart drops at the sight of his eyes, deep brown irises stained with a little confusion, then a little hurt though it lasts for only a few seconds. The slight slump of his shoulders, the absence of the familiar playfulness he always sports when he's with you.

He blinks.

"Time for yourself, or time away from me?"

You say nothing.

You don't address his question directly, and your reluctance to do so is a loud enough answer in and of itself. "Why does that matter? What's the difference?"

"It matters if I did something to upset you."

"You didn't."

"Okay. So?"

This is confusing, because he's not letting you rip the bandaid clean off and you don't know why. "Nothing's changed, right? If it didn't mean anything to you, why can't you just drop this?"

Minho is quiet for a beat. His eyes are searching again, but this time, you think he finds something.

Everything is still and you hate it - the silence of the streets, the scrutinizing orange glow of the streetlights as if they're watching the scene unfold, even the innocent cat that's sitting by itself on the balcony on one of the floors higher up. You hate all of it.

"I never said it didn't mean anything," he tells you.

It makes you a little angry for some reason, and there's enough red to cloud your vision because his words are contradicting and you're tired, you're so exhausted that you can't focus on what it is that he's really saying.

"So you lied to me?"

"I've never lied to you."

"I asked you before and you said nothing's changed. Now you're saying whatever this is didn't not mean anything. Make up your mind."

It gets redder when he keeps his eyes fixed on you, still so calm despite the frown that has returned to its place between his brows. Still so collected, while you're being pulled apart at the seams.

The ball doesn't drop the way you expect it to. It keeps falling so insufferably slowly, hanging over you like it's mocking you for being stupid, like it's milking every second of suspense to make you implode.

Until Minho speaks next and suddenly, it feels like the air has been sucked out of your lungs. His voice, still so soft and tender. His eyes, reading something in yours that you can't bear to admit out loud.

"You really don't see it, do you?"

all rights reserved © withleeknow. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 24.06.2024]

[cherubimcore]

phantom of the opera ! au

pairing: logan x reader

author's notes: i have been writing this since last month, i still don't think is really that good but i'm happy with it, i did re-read the phantom of the opera and did my research to write this fic (still i could have made some mistakes) so after saying all that happy halloween! 🎃

“the phantom of the opera really existed, but he wasn’t a cold translucent body that resembles a person nor a floating sheet with holes for eyes, the phantom of the opera was a broken man with such a guilt on his shoulders that made him feel like a monster, everyone thought of him as a monster but every time i looked at him i only saw a man that suffered his entire life, that needed someone to love and cherish him despite his flaws and i love i love i love him and he loves me back with the same passion”

- (l/n), (y/n). diary of (y/n), 1870

your day ended with whispers amid young dancers and singers in the dressing room.

“i saw the phantom today while we performed!”

“you saw him?”

“as plainly as i see you!”

“what does he look like? please tell us!”

while taking off your corset you started to pay attention to their words when you heard the mention of this phantom, everyone was uneasy (to say the least) in the opera house because of the rumors of a ghost wandering around, especially after the death of the stagehand after a performance not long ago.

“well… he was in one of the boxes, box five you know, the box on the grand tier, next to the stage-box, on the left”

“this is ridiculous!” you said, a hand on the hip and furrowed brows “you wouldn’t be able to see anything in box five from the stage, let alone a person!”

“it wasn’t a person!” the girl you still haven’t learned the name snapped as if she couldn’t believe someone was doubting her testimony, she then sat down again with a terrified expression “it was him, i’m sure of it, the phantom! it was the monster that killed mr. buquet!”

“mr. buquet was found hanged” you clarified trying to put some sense in the girl’s head, as much as you were also scared of the thought of working in a haunted opera with a killer ghost, you also tries to use logic in every aspect of your life, and everything related to this rumor was not logic “he killed himself, that had nothing to do with this phantom of your because he simply isn’t real”

another one of the girls who hadn’t been talking all that much clenched her fists.

“i want to hear you say that when he comes after you!” she hissed “let’s go, girls”

the other dancers gathered their belongings and left the room.

in a blink of an eye you were alone.

it was already difficult enough being the new girl, but now you were the new girl everybody hated.

with a sigh you plop down on a chair in the corner of the room and start to think.

there were things concerning you more than this stupid rumor, worries that came before you got hired in the opera.

you always loved to sing, with both your parents being musicians, you were surrounded by music since you were born and throughout your life the only thing that made you keep going was your dream of becoming a lead soprano, the lead soprano, someone who’s voice would be remembered for the rest of eternity, so you practiced and practiced and practiced to one day perform on stage and hear the praises of the public, infatuated with your voice.

but after the death of your parents you stopped singing completely, not feeling the joy you once felt only the grief consuming your soul, it took years for you to start singing again and by the time you started once again, you were already a bit rusty, but you couldn’t give up, even if your parents weren’t here anymore you would make them proud.

but doubts always lingered in your mind ever since you got hired in the palais garnier: what if you couldn’t make your parents proud? what if you weren’t good enough? what if even if you practiced 24/7, 7 days a week you still wouldn’t get the lead soprano role like you always wanted?

what if you simply were a failure?

your took a deep breath feeling tears running down your cheeks and quickly dried them with the sleeve of your costume.

you get up determined to bury those thoughts so deep inside you they wouldn’t be able to claw their way back and ruin you.

you were going to be the lead soprano.

people will love your voice.

your parents will be proud.

whatever it takes.

a couple days later after making that promise you were in your dressing room after another performance still breathing heavily from the intensity of the spectacle, behind your door you could hear whispers and footsteps meaning people were already leaving the opera for the night, you knew you needed to leave sooner or later but your mistakes on stage kept plaguing your mind, it had been days since you had a proper night of sleep and some of your co-workers started to take notice of the heavy bags under your eyes but you simply couldn’t sleep knowing your goal was so far away, especially when you caught the other singers saying you were “singing like a crock”after practice, questioning how someone like you has been hired in the infamous palais garnier.

so you wouldn’t sleep, if you wanted to be better than all of them you needed to practice twice as hard.

you took a deep breath while locking the door to make sure no one would interrupt you and started to undress from your cherubino costume, you still didn’t know why the directors made you play a breeches role even if it your voice wasn’t the right tone for this character, and put some actual comfortable clothes before taking off your make-up.

with one more look at the mirror you started to sing.

your sweet yet insecure voice filled your dressing room, it was a promising voice, but it lacked control and you knew it, your voice faltered at some point making you sigh, frustrated. you couldn’t reach the higher notes and it tormented you, with a groan you opened your mouth to start again.

but before any sound could come out of your throat you felt a presence in the room.

suddenly a deep and seductive voice echoed off the walls, as if coming from every corner at once “you are forcing it”

your breath was caught in your chest as you looked around, but saw no one.

“who’s there?” you asked with a trembling voice.

“someone who can help you, if you trust me”

a shiver ran down your spine.

it was him.

you just knew it.

the phantom.

somehow he passed through your locked door, now you were the one locked inside with him.

“why should i trust you?” you replied with more courage than you actually felt.

“because i can make you into what you wish to be and more, everything you dream can be yours… if you accept me as your mentor.”

you hesitated, torn between fear and a strange attraction, feeling a shiver run down your spine. you knew you should fear this man, you knew you should get out of the room screaming for your life, but the promise he made, to reach the greatness you so desired, was irresistible.

“yes” you whispered, sealing your fate.

from that night on, the phantom became your shadow, guiding you through every note, shaping your voice until perfection, but his presence was overwhelming. you felt his gaze at all times, as if he could see through you, knowing every thought, every emotion, you even questioned at one point if he could actually read your mind.

your classes first started in your own dressing room, you remembered the first time you actually saw him, after countless times asking him to show himself, you lost your breath, the man was breathtaking, he had a strong built body beneath dress-clothes that hugged his body perfectly even with those clothes you could tell he had a hirsute physique especially because of his mutton chop sideburns, he also had a unique hairstyle that reminded you of cat ears for some reason.

“you…” you looked at him puzzled “you are the phantom of the opera?”

the man chuckles while looking around the room lit by a soft light, the only thing he could think about was how he never had seen it so close.

“that’s what they call me?” he smiled at you, you noticed he had animal-like canine teeth, a small detail that, alongside his other features, made your knees weak.

you smiled at him.

“what should i call you?” you asked “since you are my mentor now, how do you want me to call you?”

he looked a little shocked when you make that question, as if no one had asked him that in a long time.

“logan” the man you once called phantom answered, a little out of breath “you can call me logan…”

overtime, something strange began to happen, it wasn’t just your voice that was changing, your heart raced every time you heard his voice. you longed for his teaching, for his presence.

logan also started to change, instead of coaching you as far away as possible he started to get closer and closer to you, slowly he would open up about his past but nothing that would indicate how logan ended up in the opera house and you were scared to ask questions and end up pushing him away, what had started as mere admiration on both parts grew into something deeper and darker.

you began to seek him out, even when he didn’t call you, the thing you most wanted was to see who the man behind the grumpy face was, why was he living in the opera? where were his family? what was he hiding?

your heart races with an inexplicable pull towards logan, a fascination you can no longer deny, with all those feelings and questions in your mind you decided to follow him deeper into the shadows.

it was difficult to put your plan into action, you started to understand why logan laughed when you said people called him “phantom”.

logan really had the gift of appearing and disappearing to his heart’s content as if he didn’t have a physical body.

but you knew better.

after failing multiple times to follow him you started to watch the man even more closely every time when you were together, and when you weren’t you wandered around the opera trying to understand the architecture and looking for secret passages and hiding places that would allow logan to pass unseen amongst opera workers and yourself.

to be honest you felt a little bit ridiculous doing this but you knew, even if it would sound ridiculous to someone else, it was the only possible explanation you had at the moment.

and it didn’t take long for you to find out what you were looking for.

and it took even less time for you to find yourself in the underground catacombs of the paris opera house.

“what am i doing? what am i doing? what am i doing?” you chanted to yourself while looking at the damp walls and flickering lights in what felt like a haunted place at the time, but then you started to actually think about what were you doing and who are you doing it for.

you were doing this for the man who found potential in your voice at a time you were unsure if you actually had any talent for singing.

you were doing this for the man that held you so delicately when you were crying your eyes out when you didn’t get the role of eurydice, a role where you practiced so hard with him and you felt you were letting him down because of your failure.

you were doing this for the man that, when you mentioned that to him, he held your face still wet from your tears and made you look into his eyes, instead of finding him looking at you with an angry expression and telling you he really was disappointed with you, questioning why he decided to be your mentor actually you were met with the kindest eyes you had ever seen in your life while logan whispered “you will never let me down”

you were doing this for the man that never let you touch his hands saying they had done more harm than good, that they are dangerous but you always notice the longing expression, showing a desire for you to ignore his words and look past his facade and love him besides his faults.

and you do.

you do love him besides his faults.

you are doing this for logan, the man that also loves you besides your own faults.

a lost soul, yearning, just like yours.

your thoughts were interrupted when you heard his voice.

“you shouldn’t have come, (y/n). these halls, this life… it’s not meant for you.”

ahead of you, logan’s form is barely visible, his black clothes blending with the darkness.

the man speaks without turning, his voice both haunting and tender.

“but i must understand” your voice wavers, not from hesitation “you… you’re more than a phantom, more than the stories they tell, i’ve felt it since the first time you sang to me.”

you took a few more steps closer.

“you say this is not my world, but i feel like i belong here with you, in the music, in the dark”

“what about your dream?” logan finally turned to face you, even in the badly lit room you were in, the pain in his eyes was unmistakable “your dream to be a lead soprano? your dream to make the world know your voice?”

you giggled.

“i can still do all those things, i never said i wanted to be famous,” you confessed “i want to be a legend, the lead soprano who made people reach nirvana once in their life to never be seen again.”

logan looked puzzled, he couldn’t understand how someone like you would prefer a life in darkness with him instead of the glory of being in the spotlight where you could have everything you wanted.

“you don’t know what you are saying” logan’s voice trembles as he gestures around him, to the cavernous, endless maze of catacombs “this is not beauty, it is madness, a prison. my past, what i truly am… are not things you would wish to see.

you stepped closer to him, your hand outstretched but not quite touching the man in front of you.

“then show me. show me your past. show me your pain” your breath catches in your throat as you speak “i want to know, logan. i want to see what makes you… you.”

logan inhales sharply at hearing his name on your lips, as if you had unraveled a sacred secret. he looks away, conflicted, his shoulders tense. but you move even closer, your fingers brushing the edge of his suit.

“if you follow me any further, (y/n), there will be no turning back." logan's voice softens, filled with sorrow. "my world, my heart - it will consume you."

he looks into your eyes, pleading with you to turn away, pleading with you to think again and leave him in the darkness and live a better life.

but seeing the determination in your face, he sighs defeated.

"very well... follow me"

logan continues deeper into the labyrinth, and you, unwavering follows. the air grows colder, the walls narrower making you feel as if the weight of the earth is pressing down on you, it didn't take long for you both to reach a hidden chamber. inside, candlelight flickers over rows of old mirrors, sheets of music, and a grand organ, half-covered in dust. the remnants of a tortures life, a man that forgot the world above.

your breath catches as you step into the room, your eyes scanning the relics of his past.

"this..." your voice is soft, filled with wonder and sadness. "this is where you've been all these years?"

you turn around to face him, logan watches you as if waiting for you to recoil in horror, but when you don't, when instead you step closer and places your hand gently on his, something breaks inside of him.

"this is all i am" logan's voice, rough but tender, breaks the silence "a creature of the dark, of pain. nothing more."

your eyes fill with tears, but still you don't look away.

"no. you are more than that. you are music, you are passion, you are love. logan, i see you and i love what i see."

gently you took his hands and place in on your cheeks, logan's eyes are filled with disbelief and emotion, met your.

"you don't know what i have done, you don't know what these hands are capable of"

"then show me and let me love you anyway"

in that moment, something shifts. the darkness no longer feels suffocating but intimate, a shared space where two souls, both broken in their own way, find solace in each other.

[tiredandoptimistic]

TSC Fandom Survey Results

The time has finally come for me to share my data! For those unaware, I've spent the past week running a survey in which people ranked TSC books, characters, and ships. In the end, 50 people filled out my survey, which is way more than I expected! About 23% of the people who looked at the survey filled it out, and everyone who started finished it.

First off I'll post the simple rankings from each category, and below the cut I'll show the more complex results with explanations for why people voted the way they did.

Best series: 1. The Infernal Devices 2. The Mortal Instruments 3. The Dark Artifices 4. The Last Hours 5. The Eldest Curses 6. The Wicked Powers 7. The Secret Treasons

Best main girl: 1. Tessa Gray 2. Clary Fairchild 3. Emma Carstairs 4. Cordelia Carstairs 5. Dru Blackthorn

Best main couple: 1. Will/Tessa/Jem 2. Will/Tessa 3. Clary/Jace 4. Jem/Tessa 5. Julian/Emma 6. James/Cordelia 7. Dru/Ash

Best side couple: 1. Magnus/Alec 2. Simon/Isabelle 3. Thomas/Alastair 4. Kit/Ty 5. Kieran/Mark/Cristina 6. Charlotte/Henry 7. Sophie/Gideon 8. Gabriel/Cecily 9. Helen/Aline 10. Grace/Christopher 11. Gwyn/Diana 12. Lucie/Jesse 13. Ari/Anna

Best side character: 1. Raphael Santiago 2. Lily Chen 3. Maia Roberts 4. Ragnor Fell 5. George Lovelace 6. Catarina Loss 7. Livvy Blackthorn 8. Jessamine Lovelace 9. Luke Graymark 10. Jocelyn Fairchild 11. Maryse Lightwood 12. Eugenia Lightwood 13. Jordan Kyle 14. Robert Lightwood 15. Jaime Rosales 16. Michael Wayland 17. Amatis Graymark 18. Camille Belcourt 19. Nate Gray 20. Charles Fairchild

Best younger sibling/child: 1. Max Lightwood-Bane 2. Rafael Lightwood-Bane 3. Mina Carstairs 4. Max Lightwood 5. Tavvy Blackthorn 6. Alex Lightwood 7. Zachary Carstairs

Best villain: 1. Sebastian Morgenstern 2. Valentine Morgenstern 3. Annabel Blackthorn 4. Malcolm Fade 5. Axel Mortmain 6. Asmodeus 7. Shinyun Jung 8. Benedict Lightwood 9. Tatiana Blackthorn 10. Belial

Best side book: 1. Tales From the Shadowhunter Academy 2. Ghosts of the Shadow Market 3. The Bane Chronicles 4. Secrets of Blackthorn Hall 5. An Illustrated History of Notable Shadowhunters and Denizens of Downworld 6. The Shadowhunter's Codex 7. Better in Black 8. A Sea Change

Huzzah! Putting this all together has been so much fun for me, and I want to quickly thank everybody who participated! I also want to remind everyone that this was just for fun, and no reason to get mad at anybody. We're obviously never gonna agree on everything, we just need to respect each other's opinions.

If you want to know the nitty gritty of how every character was ranked, how the different series measured up against each other across categories, and why people like or dislike various books and characters, then keep reading below the cut! I made a spreadsheet, please come gaze upon my beautiful spreadsheet.

Here we go, time for the real shit!

Be warned, you will probably read mean things about characters you love and nice things about characters you hate. Angry rants about how you can't believe anyone would think that way belong in DMs to your friends, not the notes of my post. I do welcome discussion, just nothing that's targeted at other people. Also, I will be doing my best to explain people's opinions, that doesn't mean that I agree with them. I'm just trying to document. If I'm sharing my genuine personal opinion on anything, I'll make that clear.

You'll be seeing screenshots from my big spreadsheet throughout this thing. Here's your key: Columns represent characters/ships/series, rows represent a ranking. Each cell shows how many people assigned that rank to that character (for example, the intersection of 3 and Sizzy will be the number of people who voted Sizzy as their second favorite side ship). At the bottom there will be the average rank this character received, which was calculated by the program I used for the survey. I have all the columns color coordinated by which series each character/ship belongs to, and each column will have one box outlined which shows the rank that character received most often (as in, the intersection of Sizzy and 3 is outlined because Sizzy got more #3 votes than #1 #2 #4 or #5). Some columns have multiple boxes outlined, in the case of ties.

Make sense?

Alright, let's go!

First off, it's everyone's favorite series. As you can see, TID was significantly ahead of all the others. TMI and TDA were neck and neck, frequently switching back and forth for that #2 spot. TLH was a bit lower than the other three, and TEC, TWP, and TST all ranked dramatically lower.

To explain why they liked TID, people talked about finding the series nostalgic, enjoying how the characters are woven into the plot, the historical setting, and how it expands the worldbuilding of TSC while still working as a contained story. People also mentioned enjoying specific characters like Will, Jessamine, and Gabriel. By far the most common comment though was just that people love Herongraystairs. The only negative comments came from people who said that they didn't find the concept interesting, and were disappointed by the lack of their favorite modern characters.

Talking about TMI, the most common positive comments were that the series was fun, nostalgic, and had the best cast of characters (specifically Alec, Magnus, and Simon). People also enjoy the modern setting, the interpersonal relationships (especially Malec), and how the world is seen to develop from where it was in the historical era. TMI has the fewest haters, but some people said that they just didn't find it as captivating as later series, or that they were put off by the incest plotline. I also received the criticism that the characters are annoying, and that the story could have been compressed into fewer books.

For TDA, a lot of people mentioned finding the characters relatable, enjoying the plot, and liking the Blackthorn family dynamic. The characters and ships who got specific shout-outs were Blackstairs, Kierarktina, and Mark. People also like the modern setting, found it to be emotional, and think that it effectively juggles a large cast of characters. Plus, people appreciate getting autistic representation from Ty. It has a solid number of detractors too, who say that they don't like Blackstairs (especially Julian), Thule, the Cohort, or the focus on Faerie politics. They also say that it has too many plotlines, takes itself too seriously, and that the last book (Queen of Air and Darkness) made them drop the series.

While TLH was ranked last of the main series, I'd like to point out that it has the same number of #1 votes as TDA, signaling that it has a similar number of intense fans. The difference really comes in with the lack of #2 or #3 votes, showing that people don't tend to be casual fans of the series. By far the most popular thing brought up by TLH enjoyers is the characters, and how they build an interconnected web with lots of fun dynamics (including developed family dynamics). People also like the number of queer and POC characters, the cozy vibe, the historical setting, the drama, and the ships (especially Herondaisy). The most common critiques all come back to the plot; that the main story is weak or even incoherent, and the series is stretched too thin across a number of side plots. People also dislike the lack of communication, and think that the characters don't feel like friends. Another complaint is that the world doesn't feel like a natural extension of TID, especially because the characters are so invested in mundane social structures like balls and reputations.

TEC is our first truly controversial series, and the main divide seems to be between people who think it's unnecessary fan service, and fans who feel serviced. The reasons I was given to like the series are the additional page time for Malec and the TMI gang, and that it fleshed out the TMI timeline. On the negative side, people say that it feels like a cash grab and that LBOTW didn't live up to the expectations set by RSOM. Overall though, the biggest reason that people ranked it so low was just that they hadn't read it.

Here's where we get into the series that were doomed to fail in the rankings because none of us have even read them. While TWP has a solid number of prospective fans ranking it in their top three, most people left it at the bottom because it hasn't come out yet. The people who expect to enjoy the series are the ones who enjoyed Dru, Kit, and Ty in TDA, and the ones who expect to dislike it are the ones who didn't enjoy those three in TDA.

So, TST was probably not fair to include in this list because I got a solid number of respondents who hadn't even heard of it, but I'm convinced that if it were ever to come out it would be in my top two series overall, and I want to see what the people think. While it didn't get anybody voting it #1 based on potential like TWP did, there were still some people saying that they would be excited to read it because of Waywood, the Luke/Jocelyn/Valentine drama, and the morally gray characters. On the other hand, there's the people who just don't care about the Circle and don't want to read about them.

For main girls, Tessa, Clary, and Emma were all pretty close in the average rankings. Cordelia and Dru fell a bit behind, but also had their share of committed fans.

When talking about Tessa, people brought up her intelligence, maturity, and their nostalgia for her character. They also like that she's a book lover, has cool powers, isn't annoying, starts out messy before maturing, and is strong-willed. By far though, the most common comment was that they found her relatable. The downside to this relatability is that her detractors say she feels like an obvious reader insert, and is overshadowed by more interesting characters like Will, Jem, and Jessamine.

Clary had the most positive comments, and people love that she's funny, creative, blunt, fearless, iconic, and handles all the bullshit the world throws at her. (My personal favorite comment was the person who called her "my beautiful unhinged princess"). More than anything though, people love Clary for her development. She starts out as a relatable 15-year-old, but over the course of six TMI books and all her later appearances, she grows into a hero. She's also of course incredibly nostalgic, since most TSC fans were introduced to the world by either her or Tessa. On the downside, people say that she works better as a side character than a protagonist, and that she's overshadowed by the rest of TMI. They also think that she made bad choices throughout the series, and find her annoying.

What people love about Emma is that she's strong, funny, complex, badass, and a bit of an asshole. They like that she's allowed to have an attitude and still be treated as a cool and compelling woman by the narrative and the other characters. Plus, she comes across as having a clear voice that makes her feel like somebody they could be friends with in real life. Most of the people with specific complaints about her either didn't like TDA overall, or thought she was treated as an extension of Julian who never fulfilled her individual potential. Some people also found her badass bad bitch persona to be more exhausting than endearing.

Cordelia is probably the most controversial character in this category, with long lists of both positive and negative traits given by the fandom. On the bright side, she's fierce, badass, kind, and relatable. People also like to see a woman of color thriving in 1903 London, and how she embodies the concept of a warrior. Looking to the negative, people largely just don't find her particularly engaging. They say that she's inconsistant, flat, and had no development after Chain of Gold. They also complained about her making bad decisions and having a weak relationship with Lucie.

Everybody had the least to say about Dru, and most people said that they ranked her last just because they don't know enough about her to like her more than the established characters. What her fans do enjoy is that she's relatable, blunt, sassy, and a fat goth girl who's giving 2015 tumblr emo. The only real complaint people had was that they found her annoying in TDA, but everyone who left comments like that also acknowledged that she was 13 in TDA and will probably be more engaging once TWP gives her time in the spotlight.

Moving into the main couples, TID continues to sweep as Herongraystairs takes the top spot (and came incredibly close to taking the entirety of the top three). After that, the couples are spaced out pretty equally and follow the same pattern established by the previous two categories.

Now, Herongraystairs received arguably the most bonkers majority in this entire survey. Nearly half of respondents ranked it as their #1, and only a couple outliers put it in their bottom three. What everybody loves about this ship is the angst, how willing they were to sacrifice for each other, the raw emotions, how perfectly the three balance each other, and the ideas about fate. They also like how all three of them are compelling characters on their own, have unique relationships in pairs (Wessa, Jessa, Heronstairs), and work even better as a complete unit. Will and Jem already loved each other, but they could only fully develop once they had Tessa; creating this tragic yet beautiful cloud of possibility. People also like the polyamorous aspect, and wish that they were a canon three way relationship. More than anything else though, what was commented again and again was simply "they loved each other so much." What else can you say? Well, I can say why a couple of people dislike the ship. The only reasons I was given was that the person didn't like TID overall, and that they prefer Jem and Will with a purely platonic parabatai bond.

Moving on to Wessa, people like their banter, the crazy build up to their relationship, and how they bonded over books. They also love how gutwrenching the relationship is, especially once you get to the epilogue of Clockwork Princess. The only complaint anybody had was that they aren't Herongraystairs, and the relationship is incomplete without Jem.

People of course love Clace for the nostalgia factor and how it's the relationship that introduced them to TSC, but most importantly people like how the two of them are just so horribly down bad for each other. They're cute, fun, and have good chemistry; forming the heart of the TMI gang and of the Shadowhunters world. What people don't like is that they're basic, getting overshadowed by other couples in their own series. The upside is that they get better in their appearances that came after TMI. There are of course also the people who don't like the incest plotline and felt uncomfortable reading about that era of their relationship.

Jessa was solidly in third for most of this survey, but Clace pulled ahead of them in the last day. Though they came in behind the other TID ships, they're still beloved by the fandom. People like their dynamic and enjoy Jem as a character. The downside is that the ship makes them sad because of the tragedy of their situation, doesn't include Will, and gets overused in the modern series.

As for Blackstairs, people see their relationship as beautiful, a good example of friends to lovers/forbidden romance, and worked in well with the plot of TDA. People also like the soulmate aspect. Their haters sure had a lot to say to counterbalance that though, and complained about how the relationship is melodramatic, overly intense, toxic, and codependant. I also got a few respondants who said that they just dislike Emma and Julian as individuals, and that Julian's behavior towards Emma is alarming.

Herondaisy is continuing TLH's grand tradition of coming in near the end while still maintaining a dedicated team of fans. The good stuff is how much James loved Cordelia, and that he spent so long unable to say anything, but once he was free from the Gracelet he never let her forget his devotion. Their love was powerful enough to break a hellish enchantment, but still felt like a friendship built on a shared interests like books and stories. The most common complaint about this relationship was miscommunication, dislike of James or Cordelia as characters, and not understanding why the two like each other (other than mutual attraction). There's also people who just don't like TLH and generally aren't invested in their story. The other main complaint was that the James/Grace and Cordelia/Matthew subplots felt unnecessary and overly drawn out (which of course connects back to the miscommunication issue).

Morgenthorn suffers from the same issue as the other TWP representatives, and largely got low marks because their books aren't out yet. Some people think they're shaping up to be iconic though, while others still aren't sold on the premise.

The side ships are where things start to really heat up. Based on their average rank, the pairs form a couple distinct tiers. First, is Malec, Sizzy, Thomastair, and Kitty (the fan favorites), next is Kierarktina, Chenry, Sophideon, and Gabrily making up the middle of the pack, then we have the less popular Haline, Gracetopher, Gwynburn, and Ghostwriter, and in dead last with by far the lowest score there's Arianna. (Sorry to the u-haul lesbians). I think it's quite interesting how most of the ships are clumped together with other ships from the same series.

I'm guessing we all knew that Malec was gonna come in first. People love the nostalgia factor, of course, and they also love how the ship is queer, iconic, and just generally sweet. It's a case of opposites attract where the two of them help each other grow and reach for things they never thought possible. Both Alec and Magnus believed that they'd never be truly loved for who they were, and yet together they were able to create a life and family. Not a single person had a bad thing to say about these two.

Continuing the popularity of the TMI gang, Sizzy came shockingly close to beating Malec for first. They didn't get as many #1 votes as the other top ships, but they were still voted highly by more or less everyone. On the surface this couple is cute and funny, but what people really love is how perfectly they match each other. While they look like opposites at first, they're actually incredibly well-balanced. Everyone expected Isabelle to break Simon's heart, but he's able to stand up to her without being a dick and he sees her for who she really is under all her defensiveness. Plus, they're great individual characters and encourage each other to grow. They only negative comment they got was one person who finds them annoying.

Next up, Thomastair comes in to prove that there are at least some parts of TLH that are pretty universally adored. People like how Thomas saw the good in Alastair from the start, and watching his schoolboy crush develop into a mature romance. They like how Thomas helped Alastair accept love into his life, and Alastair encouraged Thomas to become confident in himself. The two of them were able to create their own world in Paris, which allowed them to escape the roles they felt trapped in. The characters are of course loved as individuals, and people got especially attached to Alastair and think that he deserves good things. People also like their communication skills, in contrast with other TLH couples. The only real complains people had with the ship was that it's connected to a series they dislike overall, and falls into the bully x victim trope.

Kitty is another ship that anybody who spends any length of time in the fandom will not be surprised to see in the top quarter of this list. They're beloved as characters, and even people who dislike TDA say that they were some of the best stuff in it. Fans enjoy how Kit understood Ty from the start and Ty felt truly comfortable with Kit. They also like how Kit can't make amends with Ty but still keeps his secret (shout-out to the person who described them as being in "doomed yaoi purgatory"). People also say that they have great chemistry and a lot of potential. What people dislike is really just that they haven't had time to fully develop, since TWP hasn't actually come out yet.

The next top ship is Kierarktina, which is where we exit the "pure adoration" tier of this list. People like the characters and all their different dynamics, and think that there's a lot of potential for growth with them. They also like the fact that they're a canonically polyamorous ship. The complaints I got were that the relationship feels rushed, and that Cristina seems to fetishize Kieran and Mark's relationship.

Getting into the TID ships all nicely chunked together in the middle of this list, people like Chenry for their arranged marriage setup, where both of them love each other but saw their feelings as unrequited for years. They also like Charlotte and Henry's combined autistic swag. What makes people hesitate is their lack of pagetime.

For Sophideon, people of course love the individual characters, and especially appreciate how Gideon adores everything about Sophie. The only downside is how little of them we get on the page.

Gabrily came in lower than Sophideon but did receive more #1 votes and fewer #13 votes, proving that they have a higher number of committed fans despite being less popular overall. Those fans like how the two of them loved each other for what they were and always had each other's backs. Nobody had any negative comments about them.

Haline is another mid-tier ship that didn't get many comments. What I did hear is that people like how their struggles were worth it because they had each other, and ranked them low because of their lack of page time.

Gracetopher is probably the most controversial ship on this list. If we were just going off of who received the most #1 votes, they would be fifth overall (that order would be Malec, Kitty, Thomastair, Sizzy, Gracetopher). Unfortunately for them though, we are also factoring in all the people who ranked them dead last. As this form received more and more submissions, I watched this couple gradually climb from second-to-last to the dizzying height of fourth-to-last in the overall rankings. First off, what people like is how they truly see each other. Christopher was overlooked by his friends for his intensity and Grace was only ever treated as a weapon and a seductress, but they genuinely respect each other and bond over their shared enthusiasm for science. Looking at the negatives though, most people saw their dynamic as underdeveloped and unnecessary. Lots of people dislike Grace and don't believe that she should have received any redemption, and even people who are sympathetic towards Grace still dislike that Christopher was so quick to forgive her after how she treated one of his best friends. A few people also said that they like Grace and Christopher's dynamic when it's platonic, but ranked it low as a romance. People were also upset by Christopher's death, and feel that it ruins the relationship for them.

For Gwynburn, the only positive comment I got was a couple people saying they're cute, and the only negative one came from somebody who didn't like Diana because they felt she was an irresponsible guardian to the Blackthorn kids. Most people ranked them higher than the other ships at the bottom of this list, but unfortunately they just didn't have enough extremely high votes to pull them ahead.

Ghostwriter didn't get any specific positive propaganda, though some people clearly do enjoy them. Most of the negative sentiments came from people who just found them uninteresting and generally didn't enjoy TLH. They also see the pairing as having wasted potential, and felt frustrated by the lack of consequences for Jesse's resurrection. They saw Lucie as boring and dislike Jesse for his mistreatment of Grace.

Despite being ranked last, Arianna fans still came in to share what they liked about the couple. They enjoy the characters and Anna's butch swag, and some people who don't like them together still enjoy the concept. What people largely dislike about the two is Anna as a character, and how she treated Ari and all the other women she had flings with. While not everyone was ready to give up on them because of Anna's flaws, they were frustrated by how she didn't resolve her issues or try to be better by the end of the trilogy. There were also people who thought that the ship didn't get enough page time, or who didn't connect with Ari as a character. People were also disappointed in how Ari was punished by the narrative and by Anna for not being ready to come out of the closet when she was seventeen and dependent on her bigoted parents.

Oh boy, time to dig into the biggest category (which still feels incredibly cut down, my original list was over 50 characters). Side characters are obviously a point of hot debate, since everybody has their favorite guy who the narrative forgot about. The most popular overall characters were all old favorites introduced in TMI, then there's George, Catarina, Livvy, and Jessamine (who all swapped around a fair bit), before we get into a large chunk of characters who either inspire mixed feelings or get forgotten entirely, and bringing up the rear is two of the most hated characters in TSC.

First up, we have what I think is the biggest sweep of the whole survey; Raphael Santiago. He got about a third of the #1 votes, which isn't quite as dramatic a majority as Herongraystairs in their bracket, but far more impressive when you consider the sheer number of characters competing against Raphael for the top spot in this section. People think he's funny, iconic, and relatable. They love his sarcastic and grumpy sense of humor and his begrudging responsibility for the people around him. They also like his relationship with Magnus, as explored in "Saving Raphael Santiago" in The Bane Chronicles. The most common comment I got though was that people appreciate him being canonically aroace, and they remember him as their first experience seeing an aspec character in media. He received no negative comments (and few people left him out of their top ten).

Our second place goes to Lily, who got points for her iconic sense of humor, haunting backstory, and compelling relationships with both Alec and Raphael. She received no negative comments.

People like Maia but apparently don't have much to say about her. The only comments I got were that she's hot and a bad bitch, plus she overcame her difficult past.

Ragnor is appreciated how grouchy and melodramatic he is, and how he fits into the warlock friend group with Magnus and Catarina. I'd also like to shout-out his friendship with Raphael, since I love seeing them bond over their haterism. He received no negative comments.

George also didn't get many comments, but people grew attached to him very quickly and felt strongly affected by the tragedy of his death in TFSA, except for the person who said he felt like he got killed off for shock value.

People like Catarina's relationships with the other warlocks. I also want to point out her incredible selflessness and how she's even committed to helping people who hate her. She received no negative comments.

Livvy got the second most #1 votes after Raphael, and yet she's only #7 overall (ranked choice voting strikes again), and it looks to me like people either love her or don't care about her. What they love about her is the tragedy of her death and her relatable sense of responsibility towards her siblings, plus the continuation of her story in TWP. The only negative comment I got about her was from someone who didn't feel sad when she died.

Jessamine is seen as a fascinating and tragic character with a lot of potential depth who deserves more love. She got some low marks from her lack of page time though, and from people who found her attitude annoying.

Moving into some TST characters, Luke is noticeably higher than all the rest of his high school/fascist cult buddies. People like him for his dad vibes, and dislike him for his holier than thou attitude towards other members of the Circle. (Shout-out to my IRL friend who called him a DILF this morning).

Jocelyn didn't get many comments, and none that were positive. I'll chip in to say that I like how fierce and strong-willed she was when she decided to betray her abusive husband and raise Clary alone in NYC, and appreciate that she always tried to do what she thought would protect her daughter (even if it often wasn't actually what Clary wanted or needed). The people of the survey think she's a bad person and don't think that Clary should have forgiven her so easily for the way she lied to her. She moved up pretty far in the last day of this survey, but that was mostly due to other characters dropping in the rankings.

Maryse was behind Robert for most of the time this survey was gathering data, but her fans came in at the end to bump up her score. They like her relationships with her children, especially Jace and Alec, and are curious about her life before TMI when she had to deal with a loveless marriage and losing her brother to the mundane world. The only negative comment I received for her was someone who disliked how she treated Jace while he was being unfairly accused of working with Valentine.

While Eugenia is generally liked by TLH fans because she's funny, feisty, badass, and has a compelling relationship with Thomas; she scored fairly low overall because most people don't feel super attached to her due to her lack of page time.

The only positive comment I received about Jordan was that it was funny when he spent time with Jace and Simon. Mostly, people think that he was a toxic boyfriend to Maia and an awful person overall. They especially disliked that he and Maia got back together, even though he'd previously assaulted her after their breakup. Despite that, he's managed to make his way up from the bottom five of this list.

Robert is more controversial than his ex-wife, receiving more negative and more positive votes than her. People like his relationship with Michael as explored in "The Evil We Love," and how his personal issues with queerness bled into his relationship with his son. They enjoy both the angst of his difficult relationship with Alec, and the hopefulness that comes from his ability to grow as a person and try to be better for the sake of his kids. Folks who are less compelled by the angst just flat dislike him for his bad parenting. His ranking dropped dramatically in the last twelve hours, since I guess the people who can't forgive shitty parenting all showed up at the end.

People who like Jaime enjoy his attitude and see him as complex, and all the negative comments were about the age gap between him and Dru.

Michael is a character who seems to suffer from being nobody's favorite. No one had anything negative to say about him, but the only positive comments were in regards to his relationship with Robert, and the highest anybody ranked him was #4.

Amatis is somebody else who I believe suffered from not having any real fans. The only comment I got about her was that they ranked her low because they don't know much about her. The highest anybody ranked her was #6, and only one other character on this list has a highest rank that's lower than that. Nobody got mad at her like they did with Jordan or Jaime or Camille, but no one loves her like they love those three, so she ended up lower than them overall.

Camille got a fair number of high votes from people who enjoy her dramatic diva energy, and a lot of low ones from people who think she's just an awful person.

And here we have the first of the two most hated characters in this list. While he was dead last for almost an entire week, Nate finally managed to claw his way up to 19th place. Nobody had anything nice to say about him, and nobody ranked him higher than #7. I'll say that I find him interesting as an extension of Tessa's character and arc. People didn't have particularly complicated complaints, they just think that he's selfish, mean, awful, a traitor, a liar, an asshole, and completely irredeemable. Oof.

Even though he ended up in last place, Charles is distinct from the rest of the characters ranked this low because he actually does have a handful of fans who put him at #2 or #3. They think that he's an interesting character to study, even if he's an awful person. They also find his relationships with Alastair and Matthew to be compelling (though unhealthy) and relate to his place as an older sibling burdened by high expectations. As for the negatives, there's a whole laundry list. People see him as gross, annoying, selfish, awful, and boring. They hate his predatory relationship with Alastair in-universe, and which he was handled better by the author out of universe. I got one comment that said he felt like he was written by a straight woman, and in general people don't like how his arc was written.

Now that we're through with two of the largest and most controversial categories, let's move onto the one nobody cares about. I will admit that I included the children in this survey purely out of an interest in hearing if anybody had reasoning for preferring one small child over another.

Also, since we have two Max Lightwoods, I differentiated them using their middle inititals; Max M for Max Michael Lightwood-Bane, and Max J for Max Joseph Lightwood.

Okay, so what I have in the positive column for every single kid on this list is more or less just their association with their parents. People like the Lightwood-Bane siblings because they like Malec, they like Mina because of Jessa, Tavvy because of the TDA Blackthorns, Max J because of the TMI Lightwoods, Alex because of Gabrily, and Zachary because of Cordelia and Thomastair. Negative comments were also often linked to parents, like ranking Mina low because they dislike Jessa, or disliking the Lightwood-Banes because their existence feels like fanservice and they don't believe Alec would be a good father at age 20. Rafe did get the positive comment that his story in GotSM made the respondant cry.

Positive comments for Tavvy focused on people feeling like they know him better than other kids on this list, and being excited to see more of him and his relationship with Dru in TWP.

Max J got comments talking about how much more character he has compared to the babies, and how the tragic end to his story strongly affeced people. People got attached to him from his love of manga, and appreciate how he symbolized the innocence that Alec, Isabelle, and Jace needed to fight for.

Alex and Zachary were ranked last by almost everyone, though they all made it clear that they bear no ill will towards these kids. Zachary did get one committed fan who loves the way he brings Alastair's arc to a close, and is excited to see more of him on Thomastair's BiB story. I think it's noteworthy that they have the same number of #1 votes, Zachary got more #2 and #3 votes, and Alex got more #4 and #5 votes; showing that once you discount the people placing them in the bottom two, Zachary is in fact more popular. (I'm assuming that most people who put them in the bottom two don't actually prefer one over the other).

The villain category was particulary interesting to me, because reading everyone's comments made it clear that many of us are working off of different definitions of what makes a good villain. The biggest question was whether a character being sympathetic made people see them as a great villain or a terrible one. The other cool thing about this category is you can see that almost all the villains from the same series stayed next to each other in the ranking.

For as high as Sebastian ranked, he got relatively few comments. What people do like about him is that he was more relatable and redeemable than other villains because of how Valentine raised him, and yet he still went on to do unjustifiable things. They also think he was funny. The main complaint he got from several people was that the demon blood storyline made him a boring and badly constructed villain, since he had no free will in his own evilness. Also, y'know, the incest thing.

Valentine may not be ranked as highly as his son, but he did get far more specific compliments from people. They love to hate how logical, strategic, and pure evil he could be; as well as the way the story built up to him by showing the impact he had on the world. He was a skilled manipulator who convinced people to sacrifice everything in the name of his twisted values, and worked as a chillingly accurate representation of fascism. He also served the greater themes of TMI by allowing the leads to deny the violence and hatred passed down by their parents. Some people also just enjoy the Circle era characters. The only bad thing anyone said about him was that he's generic, one of a million bigoted middle aged white men in fiction.

Annabel and Malcom switched back and forth in the rankings a couple times while data was being gathered, since most people voted for the two of them as a unit. People like how tragic their storyline was, and how they served as foiled to Blackstairs because they too were people who loved each other enough to burn down the world. Ultimately, it was their sympathetic anti-Clave motivation that got most people to love them. The two points people held against them was that they're too sympathetic and thus not really villains, and that Annabel's potential was wasted in Queen of Air and Darkness. The folks who dislike TDA also dislike them on account of their association with the series.

Mortmain is our solidly mid tier villain. People across the board saw him as a simple pure evil force that the heroes had to win against, and the main question was whether people loved him or hated him for that simplicity.

The only reason anybody gave for enjoying Asmodeus was his association with Alec. The few negative comments he got were all about either his lack of page time or how his motivation being centered on his inherent evil made him uninteresting.

Shinyun is a more complicated character, and her reception was complicated as well. People like that she's associated with Alec through TEC, and that she showed how evil she was by rejecting redemption when it was offered to her. There were also some mixed feelings expressed about her place as a cult survivor, since that's a very human trauma that was not given enough dignity by the narrative. Negative opinions all came down to her lack of page time, and people who either never read or actively disliked TEC.

Benedict Lightwood might be the lowest anything from TID scored in this entire survey. People who enjoy him mentioned how he created realistic angst for Gideon and Gabriel, as a manipulative father they needed to learn to rebel against. What people think makes him a bad villain is that he's not a villain at all, just a generic shitty dad. Also, multiple people commented "worm" with no explanation.

Sadly for the villains of TLH, this isn't the way they were supposed to be the worst of the worst. While some people enjoyed Tatiana for her chaos and irredeemability, especially the way she abused her own daughter for years, overall she was seen as a boring letdown who could have been interesting if the narrative didn't treat her as pure evil. Maybe she could have had potential if she was allowed to be the main villain or if the story acknowledged the ways in which she felt abanoned by the Clave, but that's not the story we got.

As for Belial, nobody had anything positive to say about him. They thought that his plan was stupid (especially for a Prince of Hell), and that he was boring, annoying, and just generally underwhelming. He also received the same complaints as Asmodeus about how demons are uniniteresting villains because their only motive is their own inherent evil.

And here was have our final category: the side books! It's no surprise to me that the short story collections came in first, and that the unreleased books don't have a lot of fans yet.

Our most popular pick was Tales From the Shadowhunter Academy, which people love because of how it followed up on TMI storylines while also expanding upon the world. It gave readers a look into characters they enjoy like Alec, Mark, and James, and of course the most popular comment I got was people gushing about getting time with Simon. They love the Sizzy moments too, as well as Simon's friendship with Clary and the rest of the TMI gang. It also got points for George's heartbreaking death, and for how much fun it was to read when it was serialized in 2015. The two stories people mentioned as their favorites were "The Evil We Love" and "Nothing But Shadows," showing how people enjoyed getting to look at points in the TSC timeline that aren't explored by other series. The only negative comment it got was from a person who finds Simon and Isabelle annoying.

Coming in at a close second, Ghosts of the Shadow Market is beloved mainly for its connection to Jem and Jessa. People enjoy that it served a purpose in the overall TSC plot, and showed how love can be born of tragedy. The stories people brought up were "Every Exquisite Thing," "The Land I Lost," and especially "Cast Long Shadows." It received no negative comments.

While The Bane Chronicles was the least favorite of the anthologies, it still clearly won the love of the people. They enjoy it mainly on account of Magnus, especially for his friendship with the other warlocks and his romance with Alec. They like how funny it is, and feel like it has the same charm as the early TMI books. The only negative comment I got about it was that it's boring.

Secrets of Blackthorn Hall got points for the wholesome and iconic vibes, and the interesting format of being published through tumblr. Someone also described it as a home renovation show in a haunted house, and people brought up being glad to see characters like Mark and Mina and ships like Kitty and Blackstairs. Some people just didn't find it interesting though, and others disliked it because it had so much Julian and Blackstairs.

An Illustrated History of Notable Shadowhunters and Denizens of Downworld probably got the fewest comments in this category. The people who love it appreciate the stunning art and interesting details about the characters, and all the low votes came from people who haven't read it.

The Shadowhunter's Codex is the oldest companion book on this list, and clearly didn't hit like the later additions to the canon. The only positive comments I got were from people who enjoyed Simon, Clary, and Jace's comments written into the margins. Generally people just didn't find it interesting, and saw it as a textbook that didn't even provide new information about the the world of Shadowhunters. There were also people who either didn't read it or couldn't finish it.

Better in Black of course hasn't been released, but people are excited to see their favorite couples back in action. In this survey, I got specific comments from people talking about Herondaisy and Thomastair. It still ranked pretty low overall, mainly because none of us have read it yet.

A Sea Change was most people's bottom pick, just because it isn't out yet. (My theory is that it ranked lower than BiB because BiB got everyone hyped through fandom engagement when we all debated which couples would be included, and that BiB appeals to fans of ten different ships while ASC only has fuel for Matthew fans). Predictably, the people who expect to love ASC are the ones excited to see the next chapter of Matthew's journey.

And with that, we're done! I'd like to once again thank everybody who participated, especially the folks who gave long or detailed comments. I had to simplify and summarize a lot in this post, but I truly enjoyed reading everything you all had to say.

I also want to take some time at the end here to address some questions I got about why stuff in this poll was set up the way it was. First, I got a lot of people saying that Kitty should have been considered a main couple, either in addition to Morgenthorn or instead of them. I get that we (so far) have a lot more Kitty material and that most of the fanbase is far more invested in them, but I'm counting the "main couple" as the one that includes the main girl. I also got some people confused by my choice to include unpublished works like TWP and Seasons of Shadowhunters, and while I understand that perspective I still stand by my decision. I know it's not fair to the series and that people can't accurately rate things they haven't read, but I wasn't trying for that kind of accuracy; I was curious about how much people love or hate things that aren't out yet. I'd love to see how TWP and SoS factor into these rankings once we've all read them, but for now I'm happy just hearing what people expect to think about them.

Also, everyone who left random silly comments or told me their favorite characters and scenes, y'all are the real ones. I did this whole project out of my love for this series and my interest in learning why people think the way they do, and I've been amazed by the positive response. This series and world is so incredibly expansive, and I love that all of us are able to find the different niches of TSC that make us happy.

If you actually read through all this, you're awesome and thanks for supporting my passion for turning emotions into numbers. If anybody has any additional questions, I am here to chat!

Taglist:

@edwinspaynes @helenofblackthorns @whaliensdream @iovelaces @darcyolsson @sankta-wraith @magnus-the-maqnificent @blue-silver-hammer @ineedmoremalec @kingslayerzzzz @thevagabondexpress @cara0765 @uncertified-shadowhunter-14 @elytrianemrald @thomasslightwood @starrieshq @blackthornobsessed @alastaircarstairsismybff @angeldaisies @dissapointmentsrus @bananacakepie

[chores4days]

unnoticed ੈ✩‧₊˚ prologue

benedict bridgerton x fem!reader

summary; in which the girl who's never been noticed by anyone, not even her family, finds herself being noticed by the second son of the bridgerton family—the familly who is the utter opposite of her own.

notes; uhhhh i wanted to get something out so here is a prologue of sorts. this is really short i am so sorry this was not edited of read by anyone else. let me know if anyone wants to be a beta reader because i am very open to one!!! + let me know what yall think of this please ( begs and pleads ) !!!!

word count; 767 ( will eventually get longer i promise !!! )

warnings; cursing? i think, there’s not too much to this one folks

unnoticed masterlist.

prev. | cont.

you were coming to the conclusion that having siblings was possibly was just a different experience for everybody, because as you walked behind your elder brother and sister in the park it was almost as if you weren’t apart of their family but merely one of the many bystanders that roamed—you were just the one weird enough to follow them through grassy area.

you expected that it didn’t help too much that your two siblings were much older than you, the two of them however were closer in age and bonded easier with one another than you could with them. so when looking at other families, you almost felt envious..

like when you took glances at the turner family at the most recent ball and noticed the two sisters gossiping with one another, you always wondered to yourself that if you and your own sister were just a year or two closer in age—would you two be that close?

or perhaps at one of the many balls last season when you saw a bridgerton brother crowding around the most recently debuted sister—daphne you believed—your thoughts would wander to if your brother had ever given any thought to your own debut that same year. did he ever feel a sense of protectiveness over you when there was a potential suitor? you groaned aloud at even the memory of the thought, you highly doubted it. both of those thoughts.

“what are you on about now?” you heard from the front, your eyes focusing on your sister. you swallowed before putting on a ( fake ) small smile, although she couldn’t see it. “nothing to worry about, sister.”

“when it involves you, y/n, we should always worry.” your brother said with an exasperated sigh, injecting himself into a conversion that probably did not need to happen so publicly—or even at all really. “it is your second season and still no reliable suitors have come to court you, that is what you should be thinking about. the new season is soon to start.” you looked at the back of his head shocked.

“our sister is a borderline spinster and you believe that i have something to worry about?” you snapped, not quite thinking before speaking. you didn’t think being a spinster was a bad thing but for your brother to insinuate that you had more of a problem than your dear sister who was well past her debut date and was still unwed had angered you to what you believed might just be your breaking point.

brother abruptly stopped in his tracks, your sister stopping with him just as due to their arms being interlinked. he turned around to face you, taking his arm out of your sisters and taking a predatory step towards you. “sister.. you know better than to speak to me that way, and very well you know nothing of our sisters affairs. she could be getting married this season to lord rosenturn and it would not be any of your business. and as the man of our household, i highly suggest you keep your nose out of where it doesn’t belong and your mouth shut.”

was it too much for the lord up above to come and kill you where you stand? it was not enough that the words your brother spewed were embarrassing but for him to announce them like this in such a public setting was on a different level. and what were you to do if he was telling you the truth? was she to be married? it had to be arranged if so, there was no man willing to court her at this point—at least the younger men of ton were not willing to and those were the only one’s she was after.

“are you really to be married this season?” you could not help it, you really could not. your brother’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head at the question, “do you not listen, girl!” he hissed lowly as to not draw attention. “she is not getting married but even if she were to, it would be none of your business. start learning to stay in your lane and find yourself a husband.” your brother looked at you up and down, “now.”

you swallowed, looking down at the ground as you gave the man in front of you a small nod, not quite being up to the task of looking up to his eyes. the impulsive confidence form earlier withering way very, very quickly. “yes, sir.”

you had a sneaking suspicion that the ball tonight was not going to go so well.

[jade-jini]

you said thoughts on gp!reader?? pls… no one writes enough of it on here, i feel like the subbiest idols in my humble opinion get written as doms sometimes. totally get the appeal but i need a little sprinkle of dom reader for us wlw switches </3

like i feel like yunjin would ride a strap like crazy idk 😵‍💫

(Oh no you’re so real because did you see that video of her at the airport with this outfit? she was moving her hips and Omg)

I just know that woman can ride you insanely good. Whether is g!p or your strap, she’s gonna move like you can really feel it lol. Yun is so into pleasuring her partner that’s why. She’s gonna make sure to give you a show when riding you. Of course it only gets better once she’s closer to her orgasm. She goes “oh my god oh my god oh my god…” while grabbing your shoulders, fucking herself on your cock fast as you helped her, grabbing her hips and impaling her on your length like she doesn’t need to ever walk again.

Yunjin switches from sobbing to giggling, when you hit the right spot inside her, her eyes rolling to the back of her head with her mouth open. “Fuck yes, right thereee…” she says in between trembling giggles and you know your girl is losing it (in the good way).

She’s so into teasing you in public, she’d be talking about something she’s genuinely passionate about (you know how Jen gets really into the subjects) with somebody and her hand would “accidentally” go too high up your thigh, brushing your member, and you have to pretend nothing happened. Of course she compensates you, taking you somewhere private and giving you a handjob while she focus on your face with that pretty Fuckin smile of hers, loving knowing she’s the one who makes you feel this good, who knows your body this good.

Babygirl is loud by nature, I’m not saying she can’t keep quiet, but what’s the fun on that? That’s why even if you tease each other, you prefer to actually keep it inside your room and when nobody else is at the dorm. Of course your friends know when you’re gonna get it ‘cause you act a little extra excited about spending alone time with your girlfriend. Running downstairs almost tripping as you say your goodbyes to the other girls.

“Good luck on your activities today, have fun guys. We love youuu” Yunjin said hugging Manchae as everybody was on their way out.

“And call us when you’re on your way home!” You reminded them, and prayed they don’t forget that ‘cause you weren’t planning on getting caught making Yunjin moan and scream and-

“Don’t worry, we will, byeee!” Sakura said, looking at you suspiciously as she took the other girls out of the dorm.

“Come here, babygirl.” You said, pushing the tall girl against the door, kissing her and getting between her legs, feeling her giggle against your lips as she started undoing your shirt. But…

“Don’t take your clothes off yet, open the door.” You heard Chaewon said from outside, and you quickly separated, letting the girl enter the place again. ���Just making sure, NO fucking on the couch.” You gasped, both of you blushing as being read so easily.

“Unnie! What makes you think we’re-“ you tried acting offended but please bro that’s your friend.

“Ah-Ah! No fucking on the couch I said!”

“Yunjin unnie is getting it, isn’t she?” Eunchae asked her older sister, while they were looking at the front, waiting for their leader to come back.

“I am not having this talk with you, kid.” Sakura said, with an unbothered face.

————

A little short I know sorry- I might update it a bit eventually! Once I’m happy with it I’ll take this little note out but for now I think this is good enough to post it lol