#every two person must have one piece in common therefore we sometimes find ourselves loving the most unlikeliest person

[ea-paperbits]

we have the fragments of people from 100s of years ago and slowly those fragments gets lesser and lesser with new generation and then new people are formed.

But deep down we are all have tiny fragment of homo erectus within us.

[johnhardinsawyer]

If. . . Then

John Sawyer

Bedford Presbyterian Church

5 / 2 / 21 – Fifth Sunday of Easter

1 John 4:7-21

“If. . . Then”

(We Love, Therefore God Is. . .)

About a month ago, I was driving home on a Monday afternoon and I saw a strange and wonderful sight:  a young couple was walking down the street, hand-in-hand, smiling from ear to ear, wearing matching blue sweatshirts. . .  well, almostmatching blue sweatshirts.  You see, the young man was wearing a blue sweatshirt that said, “If lost, return to Babe.”  And the young woman’s blue sweatshirt said, “I’m Babe.”

There was no mistaking, by this public display of affection, that these two lovebirds were an item. . .  together.  Based on the way they were smiling and holding hands in their almost-matching blue sweatshirts, I can only imagine how joyful their reunion would be if they were ever parted from one another and Babe’s babe was returned to Babe.  This is the kind of thing that happens when you’re in love.

Have you ever wondered where love comes from?  I must admit that I had never thought about this big question until I came across today’s scripture reading, years ago.  

When I began to try to read the Bible for myself,  it took me a while to start piecing things together – all of the common threads and themes – in a way that made sense to me.  The Bible can be rather complicated, to say the least.  But I am so glad that somewhere, in my early reading of the Bible – sometime in middle or high school – I was introduced to today’s passage from First John.  Now, I know that my name happens to be John, and, in the New Testament, there was a guy named John the Baptist, as well as a disciple of Jesus named John, as well as John of Patmos who wrote the Book of Revelation.[1]  There is a Gospel of John and there are three short letters – First John, Second John, and Third John.  With all of these “Johns,” it can be rather confusing, because they are not all the same person.  It is thought by many scholars, though, that the Gospel of John and the letters of John were written by either the same person or members of the same early Christian community.[2]  Careful readers of John’s Gospel and John’s Letters can see that they are, at the very least, coming from a very similar point of view.  

One of the common threads that we find woven throughout the Bible is one that we see in today’s reading from the First Letter of John – the thread or theme of God’s love for us and the imperative of loving one another.  

“Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God,” (1 John 4:7) we read in today’s passage.  As I mentioned a few moments ago, I’m not sure if you’ve ever wondered where love comes from, but I remember reading this verse, years ago, about how love comes from God,  and having an epiphany of sorts:  “Oh, that makes sense,” I thought.  “We are taught that ‘God is love’ – heck, you can even read that ‘God is love’ (4:8) right here in today’s reading.  So, of course love comes from God!  I mean, who knows better what love is and how to love than God?”  

Some of you are probably aware that in Greek, there are four different words for love – romantic love (eros), brotherly love (philia), the love that parents have for their children (storge), and God’s love (agape).[3]  The love that is made known to us in Jesus Christ is agape love – the kind of love that gives without wanting, or expecting a return.[4]

Agape love is different from normal, human, love because we human beings are always wanting or expecting some kind of return.  God’s agape love does not work in this way, though.  God’s love for us is so great that God loves us even when we fall short, or fall flat on our faces, or lose our way.  It’s kind of like we’re all walking around with sweatshirts that say, “I’m lost, please return to God if God will have me.”  And God is walking around with a sweatshirt that says, “I am God.  I knit you together in your mother’s womb.  I have named you and claimed you in the waters of baptism, and I’ve already found you and forgiven you.  You’re not lost anymore.”  Yes, God wears a big sweatshirt.  You can fit a lot on that thing.  Anyway, the word that we use in the church to describe this phenomenon of God’s unmerited love and favor for us – even when we fall short – is “grace.”

All of us have experienced grace, in one way or another, whether we have called it that or not.  If you’ve ever had a friend or a spouse forgive you when you messed up – like when you planned a work event on the day your child’s birthday party was supposed to be. . .  or if you’ve ever had a child who messed up but you loved them anyway (maybe loved them more). . .  or if you’ve ever been on the receiving or giving end of a truly generous act that could never be repaid, then you’ve probably caught a glimpse of grace.  That’s right, God may be the source of all grace – the “fountain of love”[5] – but the way that most of us experience grace is through our interactions with other people.  This is why we are reminded at the start of today’s passage to “love one another” (4:7).  As the author of First John writes, “No one has ever seen God [in all of God’s power and might]; [but] if we love one another [then] God lives in us and God’s love is perfected in us.” (4:12)  Because, if we love one another – with the kind of love that God has and is and loves – then there is something Holy that takes place.  If we love one another, then we are participating in the abundant and eternal life of God.  

This is what I found to be so revolutionary so long ago:  the idea that anytime we seek to do the loving thing –  seeking to love as God loves – God is not just part of it all, but the very source of it all.  God is active and alive and at work through you and me.  “. . . [E]veryone who loves is born of God and knows God.” (1 John 4:7)  In other words, when you love – with the kind of agape grace that God loves – then you know God. . .  or, at the very least, you get a sense of what God is like in God’s heart of hearts.  And, if God is actively loving the world through our heart of hearts, then we do not need to be afraid to share this love with all in what we do and say. . . in how we live and love.    

Unfortunately, you and I are just as – if not more – likely to encounter (or to offer) no love than we are to encounter or offer God’s grace.  The world can be so hard and so unloving, and so can we.  Today’s passage does not come without a whole set of warnings:  If we do not love, then we do not know God. (4:8)  Or, as John Calvin puts it, “there is no knowledge of God where there is no love.”[6]  And, if we say we love God but hate our fellow human beings, then we are liars, because those who do not love someone that they have seen cannot love God, whom they have not seen. (4:20)  This does beg the question:  when we love our neighbors, who are we truly loving and who are we leaving out?  If there is no love for one’s neighbors – for all of them – then there is no true knowledge of God.  

The hard, yet wonderful, thing about God’s grace, though, is that it is offered, even to the most unloving among us.  And God calls us to share it, even with the most unloving and unlovable people we know, while acknowledging and confessing our most unloving and unlovable tendencies.  I mean, there might come a day when the young man with the blue “If lost, return to Babe” sweatshirt is angry with Babe, or vice versa.  Maybe Babe is being selfish or maybe Babe’s babe is upset about something else and lashing out at anyone – even the one he says he loves the most – and it is hard for Babe to understand.  We have all been in situations like this with those we love as well as those we do not love.  This is where grace enters the picture, though.  Without grace, human relationships are bound to fail.  

Thanks be to God, that even when our grace for one another runs out, God’s grace never runs out.  This is a love so deep, so broad, and so high, that it cannot be measured in the flowers and chocolate and blue sweatshirts of romance, or the physical desires of erotic love, or even the comradery that a team displays when they work together and support one another.  No, the love of Jesus is made of stronger stuff – a love that says, “I love you even when you are angry with me.”  “I love you even when you don’t want anything to do with me.”   “I love you even when you don’t love me back.”  “I love you even when you betray me, and arrest me, and put me to death.”

The love that we see at work in Jesus Christ is the love to which he calls us in each and every moment.  “Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another,” Jesus says. (John 13:34b)  This is the love of humble service and hospitality – washing feet and feeding people.  This is the love that has the courage to say “No” to that which is unloving in our world and to work until the most unloving ideas and actions are torn down like the false idols they usually are.  This is the love that does not hurt, but only heals, the love that does not seek to break the world, but only seeks the wholeness of the world.  This is the love of sacrifice – of giving ourselves away for the sake of those we love, even those we might never meet, even those who say they are our enemies.  This is the love that Jesus shows us, time and time again, in a constant and gracious public display of affection.  This is the love to which Jesus calls us, the love that is so hard for most of us.[7]

If we love one another, though, then God is revealed.  If we love one another, though, then God can be seen and known.  If we love one another, then God’s kingdom comes.  If we love one another, then God makes it on earth as it is in heaven.  If we love one another, then God abides in us and we abide in God.  If we love one another, then we are part of – vessels of – something Holy.  

If we love. . . then there is God.

Hmmm. . .  Someone should put that on a sweatshirt.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.  Amen.  

------------- 

[1] And I don’t want to forget “Jonathan,” who was best friends with David in the Old Testament.

[2] Watson E. Mills, ed. The Mercer Dictionary of the Bible (Macon:  Mercer University Press, 1990) 461-462.  “John, Gospel and Letters,” R. Alan Culpepper.

[3] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_words_for_love.

[4] David L. Bartlett and Barbara Brown Taylor, Feasting on the Word – Year B, Volume 2 (Louisville:  Westminster John Knox Press, 2008) 469 – Homiletical Perspective, William L. Self.

[5] John Calvin, Calvin’s Commentaries – Vol. XXII (Grand Rapids:  Baker Books, 2009) 238.

[6] John Calvin, 238.

[7] This section is from my sermon from Maundy Thursday (4/1/21) on the Great Commandment to love in John 13.

[carethedog]

Why Does My Dog Have to Sleep Touching Me?

You might head to your bedroom after an extended , stressful day, and wonder why your dog is sprawled sideways across your bed, asleep . Why do they enforce resting those paws on an equivalent pillow your head lies on every night? Maybe there couldn’t be anything easier to you than a warm, furry creature huddled accessible your side and you're taking your dog abreast of that invitation.

However, in some cases our dogs approach us and begin laying down and sleeping on us or next to us within the weirdest sleeping positions. Sometimes, the straightforward security offered by knowing our dogs are resting safely at our feet is all we'd like . But what are the possible reasons behind your dog sleeping while touching you? Let’s dive in.

Why Your Dog Sleeps So on the brink of You First of all, let’s mention your pet’s desire to sleep in your room. Why would he prefer your bedroom to mention , the additional space provided by the front room couch? Why would he rather have a crowded bed during a smaller bedroom as against a couch during a large front room all to himself? Dog sleeps on the carpet next to a lady while touching her. Imagine a pack of untamed wolves for a moment , resting comfortably in their cozy little den. It isn’t far more than a hole within the ground, or alittle cave. Solve Behavior Problems This is a modal window.The media playback was aborted thanks to a corruption problem or because the media used features your browser didn't support. This cozy little den offers a convenient shake unknown dangers which will lurk call at the open. Not only does it provide consistent, reliable shelter, but it's also enclosed on three sides and simply guarded. Wolf cubs grew up calling this small den-enclosure home, feeling safe and secure while father, and sometimes mother, would search for food. Wolves, and their ultimately descending dogs, are social animals and like the security and security of social contact. Your bedroom may be a lot sort of a wolf den, only on a bigger scale. Your dog feels the natural instinct to sleep on the brink of you because he or she feels safe and secure. What about sleeping on your bed right next to you then? Why does your dog always need to be either touching or very on the brink of you, rather than choosing his own space? Once again, all you've got to try to to is consider natural wolf behavior so as to know this desire. When they are very young pups, warmth is completely vital for survival. These tiny pups will sleep huddled against both one another and mama all night, waiting until about 8 weeks to even venture outside the den in the least . You are the leader of your pet’s group and therefore the head of the family. You ensure safety and security or a minimum of provide that feeling. You also give off body heat, and your bed is both soft and cozy . You may even have a pup who likes to burrow under your covers Why Does My Dog Sleep on Me and Not My Husband? Sometimes, dogs choose one person over another thanks to familiarity and comfortability. Is it possible that you simply spend longer around your dog while your husband is, for instance , away at work? Have you known your dog longer, and does one spend longer playing/training (with subsequent rewards) during the day? Any dog enthusiast knows dogs have a really common sense of smell, but not everyone knows how extreme this sense really is. Your dog is in a position to discern individual components of the perfume you would possibly be wearing, also as several chemicals the glands everywhere our bodies secrete. Your dog might prefer you to your husband, or the other way around , based upon your scent. Dogs can read our visual communication extremely well, often better than we do ourselves. this is often a natural method of communication for them and doesn’t require much thought on their part. What is different about your body language? Emotional cues might also be spoken words to them. Why Does My Dog Sleep At My Feet? One theory involves protection. Wild wolves needed to get on guard in the least times, so why wouldn’t dogs inherit this instinct? A placement at your feet provides a robust strategic defense or a minimum of affords the power to note any potential danger easily. When we hug our pets or roll in the hay our arms

draped over them, they could feel as if they’ve lost their defensive ability to escape or retreat. Even though there won't be any quite rational danger, some dogs instinctively don’t wish to feel confined while others happily enter their crate. Your dog might search for a cooler spot to sleep, which isn’t necessarily right next to your torso/core. Sleeping at your feet still affords protection. Dog sleeps next to the owner on the ground while being covered by a blanket. Some claim older puppies will naturally sleep either at their mother’s tail or to the side in an attempt to avoid being rolled on. Many humans, especially children, want to sleep cuddled with their arms draped over their furry pet. While younger dogs or puppies seem to prefer this, it tends to form adult dogs uncomfortable more often than not. Unless trained otherwise, most dogs naturally want to avoid direct eye contact which frequently means keeping a healthy distance from our human faces. Your dog might lick your face and even tolerate an owner’s kisses, but this features a different meaning for our pets. To understand why simply look again back at nature. Many animals, especially larger predatory animals, will use their mouths as weapons. 6 Dog Sleeping Positions With Their Owner How exactly does your dog roll in the hay you? are you able to count all of the various positions you’ve seen your dog sleeping in? To our pets, dog sleeping positions often mean quite simple comfort. have you ever ever wondered what your pet could also be gaining out of a particular sleeping position? Cuddled Inbetween Legs This can mean two separate things. First, your dog feels comfortable, secure, and safe huddled next to you and therefore the body warmth you provide. Second, this position with the rear most exposed helps hide those vulnerable areas to injury and also provides warmth while allowing your dog to hide his nose together with his bushy tail (one reason northern breeds do this). On Back, Paws within the Air Your dog is perhaps seeking a cooler position to sleep. In many breeds, the belly isn’t covered with an equivalent amount of fur. Dog sleeps on his back with the paws within the air while being on the owner's belly. This is a really vulnerable position for dogs, so your pet would need to be very comfortable. In the wild, many predators will attack their opponent’s neck, and it's difficult to defend from that position. My female Rottweiler (who loves cuddling) rarely shows her belly, but is completely comfortable with it when sleeping. That being said, she’s never on her back when she’s sleeping on me. Under the Blanket Your pet might just simply be feeling cold, and it's easier underneath the blanket. If your pet feels secure enough in your home to dispense with any caution, there's no reason to get on guard. Most dogs aren’t actually thinking ‘I got to protect this room at night’, but rather feeling the instinctive urge. Depending on how you’ve raised your dog, he or she might feel you’ve adopted the role of protector and there's no reason for him/her to. You are allowed to sleep underneath the blanket. Maybe this is often an edge useful , and sleeping underneath it's almost sort of a privilege. On Your Neck/Face This is far more common in younger puppies. we will theorize that because young pups haven’t yet developed any quite fear response or caution, they need no reason to fear your teeth. On a side note, this is often a perfect time to start socialization training for that reason. This is a wierd new environment, and your puppy also simply wants to be on the brink of you. Puppies aren’t large enough to require on a protective role. On your Pillow Upon returning to your bedroom, does one constantly find your dog on your pillow? He must know you're getting to make him move, so why do that at all? Consider the apparent comfort that a pillow provides, compared to a mattress. it might be sort of a fluff of air the dimensions of your dog’s body. Your pillow carries your scent. you would possibly leave tiny skin cells

thereon nightly , and therefore the scent, generally , may offer comfort. I even have a piece of writing dedicated to why your dog loves sleeping on your pillow. Studies exist that do show the pleasure center of a dog’s brain is stimulated by these scents. Our dogs will often want to remain as on the brink of these scents as possible. Rationalizing dog behavior supported decisions a person's might make is usually an error since dogs often don’t use the reasoning we do. That being said, sleeping at the top of your bed might sound just like the most precious spot because you're the leader of this family which is your spot. Sprawled Across the Bed Your dog doesn’t exactly understand the concept of space (when it involves stuff like this), and easily plan to choose comfort. Sprawling out flat offers your pup an opportunity to chill down, or a minimum of not overheat. Let me skills your dog likes to sleep. Our furry companions can assume the stranger sleeping positions, that’s needless to say .

[ruminativerabbi]

Remembering John Lewis

So much has happened since I stopped writing in July that it’s going to take a few weeks to work through the backlog of things regarding which I’d like to express myself. Still, I have to start somewhere. And where I’d like to start this fourteenth year of weekly e-letters and blog posts is with the death of John Lewis, someone for whom I’ve always had the greatest respect. And I’d like particularly to take note of the most remarkable, piece of writing he left behind when he left the world behind for the World of Truth—a letter he wished to be read in the wake of his death.

Much has been written since his passing of his life, and particularly his status as one of the thirteen original “Freedom Riders” in the early 1960s, so I won’t write in that direction here. Nor do I specifically wish to review his lifetime of work for the civil rights of black, and all, Americans—in the course of the years leading up to his election to Congress in 1986 and of his almost thirty-five years as a member of the Georgia congressional delegation. (For readers interested in his early years, I can still recommend his autobiography, Walking with the Wind, which I read when it came out in 1998 and found very interesting and moving. In later years, he wrote three graphic novels collectively entitled March, which books resume his earlier story and bring it up to 2016, and which I am hoping to read this year.)  Instead, I’d like to focus on the remarkable 750 words he left behind as a letter from the grave.

The notion of speaking to the people who survive you on this earth and offering them some final wisdom, some final instructions, or some final words of comfort is not a new idea. The Bible itself presents three specific instances of people transcending their own lifetimes to address a future from which they themselves will be absent. Those three instances are quite different, but each is telling in their own right.

A very moving speech preserved at 2 Samuel 23, for example, contains such a deathbed letter from King David to his own descendants and is basically a sermon about how the future kings of Israel will need to devote themselves to the pursuit of justice and fidelity to God if they are to succeed at governing the nation. (It also bears saying that an entirely different set of deathbed instructions from David appears just a few chapters later, at 1 Kings 2, one in which he basically provides his son and successor Solomon with a hit list of people David himself didn’t get around to making pay for their various acts of perfidy and whom he specifically did not wish to imagine dying peacefully of old age. I suppose you could argue that one is his deathbed letter for the nation and the other, some final specifics for his successor. But I prefer to imagine these two texts as representative of the tension we all feel when we contemplate our legacy, wanting to rise above the details—and the pettiness those details tend to bring in their wake—but also being eager not to leave unaddressed issues we have somehow failed effectively to deal with in the course of our years on earth.)

The second example is Jacob’s deathbed speech, the one in which he promises to reveal what will happen in the end of days, then proceeds one by one to discuss his sons’ best and worst character traits. The clear message—that the future of anyone at all will be a function far more meaningfully of who that person is than of what other people have done to or for that individual—is a profound lesson and one we would still do well to take to heart, even today.

And the third is Moses’s own speech to the nation from the edge of his life, one in which he addresses the tribes of Israel (or at least most of them) serially and makes more or less the same point each time, that the future will never be a function of their will to succeed, nor will it rest with their military power or with their wealth, but will instead be a function of the degree to which they submit to the rule of Heaven and live lives of fidelity to God.

Each is about the future. Each denies the fantasy that we are somehow pawns in a game none of us understands and cannot therefore really affect the future. And each, offering an alternative point of view, can be summarized in one sentence: the future will be a function of our success in the pursuit of justice (David), the future will be a function of our success in living lives of virtue and decency (Jacob), and the future will be a function our success in remaining faithful to God.  And it was those texts in the back of my mind that I sat own to read the letter that John Lewis wrote to the American people from the other side of his personal abyss, from Sheol.

It’s a short letter, complete in 747 words. Framed as his personal call for a national recommitment to the basic tenets of the civil rights in the wake of George Floyd’s death, it is also a kind of interesting philosophical statement about the nature of nations and the relationship of citizens to the larger polities to which they belong. We are citizens of a participatory democracy, he notes, one in which we are all called upon to vote for the people who will represent us in Congress and in the White House. But the real role, Lewis then goes on to say, is not merely to vote—although voting should surely be seen as an almost sacred obligation and not “just” a right or an option—but to find a way to stake out your place on the national agenda of ideas so that you personally become part of the specific agenda that you wish to see addressed by the nation and by its elected leaders. Democracy, he writes, is an act, not a state…”and every generation must do its part of help build what we called the Beloved Community, a nation and world at peace with itself.”

And then he goes to draw a remarkable picture. He talks vertically and horizontally at once, imagining the citizenry as an aggregate of individuals linked intellectually and even morally to the past through the process of internalizing the lessons of history. (The idea is to make the link between generations past and present sufficiently real and meaningful to permit our ancestors speak through us to our descendants—who will obviously also be their own descendants—and thus to grant them standing in the world by allowing ourselves to see the world through their eyes.) But he also talks about reaching out horizontally and feeling a kinship with the other nations of the world, feeling tied to them through a sense of common humanity and shared destiny, and through the sense that, in the end, what binds the peoples of the world together will always be more profound than what separates us. From that sense of being part of the larger world and being part of the ongoing history of a people and a place will come the freedom to speak out, to act boldly, to play a personal role in the redemption of the nation’s soul.

From there, he moves on to call to address those reading his words directly. “I urge you to answer the highest calling of your heart,” he wrote, “and stand up for what you truly believe.” In other words, he says that the problem facing the nation is not people being unfaithful to the political programs of others, but being unresponsive to their own finer angels, to the promptings of their own moral hearts, to the agenda of ideas that constitutes their personal contribution to the nation’s internal debate regarding its future. And he reminds his readers that although his was always the way of peace, love, and nonviolence, a commitment to nonviolence doesn’t necessarily mean avoiding what he calls “good trouble, necessary trouble” at all costs: sometimes people who insist on speaking out end up irritating people who don’t wish to hear what they have to say and there are consequences, including unpleasant ones, to be borne.

I was very moved by that idea. Our nation is in a state, it seems, of ongoing, endless turmoil. We move from one crisis to another, barely having the time to catch our collective breath between one event and the next. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed—and particularly as the presidential campaign hits up and the rhetoric becomes even more inflammatory. So to receive this letter from a true civil rights icon—and, at that, one that came from the grave—reminding us to take a deep breath, calling upon us to seek strength in history and comfort in the knowledge that in addition to being citizens of our own country we are also part of the family of humankind, encouraging us to admire people who speak out forcefully and clearly regarding the things they believe, and urging us to feel challenged by such people to join their ranks and to speak out for the things we believe no less forcefully and clearly—that was a remarkable experience. Generally speaking, the dead don’t come to their own shivas to comfort the bereaved they personally have left behind. But this thing, John Lewis too managed to accomplish.

I felt energized and comforted by his word and I encourage you to read them too. Click here and you’ll see what I mean. When people ask what makes America different, part of the answer lies in its cultivation of leaders like John Lewis, citizens who freely put their money where their mouth is, who don’t mind paying with a bit of “good trouble” for the right to speak out, and who manage to remain faithful to a personal agenda—in this case, one related to the search for justice for all—in the course of an entire lifetime. Yehi zikhro varukh—may his memory be a blessing for us all. 

[bootycallreverie]

"Please can we not make her mayor?"

I woke up today to this fascinating question regarding Cllr. Ana Bailão’s votes to uphold systemic oppression within the Toronto Police. “Please can we not make her mayor?”

It was a deceptively complex question that got me thinking of some of the fundamentals of activism, social change and politics, that I wanted to unpack this question bit by bit.

I’ve cut it into five sections: PLEASE, CAN, WE, NOT MAKE HER, MAYOR.

///

1. PLEASE

I assume this softens the meaning of the phrase - “I want her out of politics” is pretty harsh – especially in the context of a man publicly critiquing a woman. Yet it shows us something important – we are implying we need permission to participate in politics.

Why are we asking for permission? And to whom is this appeal directed? Last time I checked, I don’t need permission to do most things in life, including participating in the political process. Our US-based friends did not ask for permission when they recently revolted against their governments; they did it even though they faced police brutality, neo-Nazi paramilitaries, psychological warfare, a global pandemic and more.

The “please” comes out of the respectability politics that makes “Ontario” as a political entity so curious. “Please don’t gut our healthcare!” is not coming from a position of strength. (Anyway, it’s much easier for progressives to walk back overzealousness in the name of justice than it is for people to walk back bigotry.)

To best challenge power, we must never apologize for having ambitious convictions. We need to champion big ideas, even if they’re ahead of the curve. Two months ago, police reform would have been considered impossible in America. And they were right, it was impossible...under the existing model. So they changed the model.

Change – especially lasting change – comes from the grassroots, so while it’s not a bad thing to support progressive political candidates, parties and organizations, it is *significantly* more important to support issues-based activists and organizations (i.e. if you give $10 monthly to the NDP, why not also give $10 to your favourite advocacy group?). Issues-based groups are formed to challenge one specific cog of power at a time and can therefore deliver deep, fundamental and long-lasting impacts. (Plus…this is a great way for potential candidates to gain some experience; get those ppl knocking on doors now and they’ll do much better in 2022.)

2. CAN

If we are asking “do we, as a community, have the capacity to elect someone better?” The answer to this is yes, but if we’re instead asking “will someone within the existing structure please FINALLY get off their ass and challenge her?” then we might ask ourselves why this hasn’t already happened. The civic left has largely allowed Cllr. Bailão (and, to a lesser extent, Mayor Wonderbread, who is merely a pathetic, respectable version of Rob Ford) to go unchallenged because she’s been deemed impossible to beat, but by not challenging her, the civic left has allowed her career to continue essentially unfettered because they don’t want to spend resources on a race they’re unlikely to win. If only there were some other downtown districts where a new, young generation of activists can start to build their careers…except the seats available are full with straight white boy progressives.

Why does the civic left protect Gord Perks, Joe Cressy and Mike Layton? Like…honestly…I just don't see what the big deal about Joe Cressy is. He bumped Ausma Malik out of the 2018 election instead of doing the right thing and making way for a supremely talented racialized woman like I'd hope someone committed to true justice would. There is even a movement in the democratic party to ask white men to not run in safe seats. [This paragraph and the next have been edited for tone, thank you to Colin Burns for encouraging me to rethink my words and my misdirected anger, my frustration naturally lies with Cllr. Bailāo's behaviour.]

Gord Perks verged into alt-left territory last year as a free-speech absolutist and consequently an apologist for bigotry when he should have defended trans folk. He even shared his disappointing thoughts publicly (yup, he did, they’re still up, don’t @ me on this one, you’ll regret it: http://gordperks.ca/toronto-public-library-chief-librarians-decision/) so considering who he seems to be, we can do better after 14 years? (TL;DR – there’s need for renewal in a lot of parts of our movements, and the labour movement is no exception.)

Mike Layton is a lovely man with his heart in the right place. I’ve volunteered for him and would gladly do it again. It therefore pains me to recognize that his last name is more than a name. I’m happy for everything he (and his team) has contributed in a rapidly changing district. My concern is that lefties can’t afford to support dynasties in the same way that liberals and conservatives can, especially in downtown districts where our odds of winning are good and where we ought to be supporting talented Black, Trans, Indigenous, disAbled and economically-disadvantaged candidates that are already on the front lines of social change. (This list is illustrative, not exhaustive.) By the time of the next election, Mike Layton will have been there for 12 years. Perhaps it’s time for him to open an opportunity for others.

3. WE

Who is “we”? Is it people in this district? Is it people in Toronto? Is it progressives? Whoever can identify this “we” and mobilize them will have the best shot of defeating her. This is the “coalition” people describe as needed to win election. Of course, this includes whoever’s running for office and their team. That organizing work needs to start right now if there’s going to be any chance of a lefty winning this seat in 2022. (If you think she isn’t already considering her council seat successor, remember that her old boss was Mario Silva, who was *coincidentally* Davenport’s City Councillor and MP for a combined 16 years.)

4. NOT MAKE HER

This is maybe the biggest hurdle to get over since “NOT ANA BAILAO” is not an option on the ballot. Considering there are no formal (lol) parties or slates on council, her name recognition is her biggest electoral asset, so a keep-it-safe campaign won’t work. Plus her public image is fairly non-toxic, so as pissed off as we all are, most people won’t be swayed by a STOP BAILAO campaign from the left (the trope of the conservative woman can be very powerful – thanks Maggie – so expect her campaign to lean pretty typically right).

When we say “Cllr. Bailão should not be Mayor” we rob ourselves of the ability to say “I think this person would make a great mayor” or “these are the some of the values I want in a mayor.” – and I don’t mean just of the City Council types. (At this point, Josh Marlow is the other councilor to watch.)

I hate hearing “why can’t we have AOC or Jacinta Arden or Anne Hidalgo or Ilhan Omar?” They didn’t come out of thin air. We already have those people here, we just haven’t elevated them to where they can make a difference and this is why. (Also, lefties, let’s seriously push for term limits and ranked ballots…especially the term limits, most ppl out there love the idea, it costs zero dollars and ensures districts have a healthy amount of turnover.)

5. MAYOR

Toronto City Council is a “weak mayor” system. The Mayor need council approval for pretty much everything important. The Mayor will find success or failure on how well he can build a team of reliable allies on council. It’s something thing Mayor Wonderbread does too well: his allies don’t offer a lot of different views. A hypothetical Mayor Bailão would probably do similar.

So then how rigid should a politician be? Are they supposed to be trustees, where we trust them to do what’s best for us and we have a check-in every 4 years? Or are they supposed to be conduits of public opinion with little regard for context? Or is a councillor meant to reflect the demographics of their district, even though they can only truly embody one set of lived experiences as an individual? Or perhaps, in the case of Cllr. Bailão, someone not dedicated to steering the ship but merely running the engine, not caring where it sails even though we've seen icebergs on the horizon? We’ve grown up in a SimCity generation where we think the mayor can make whatever they want happen. As great as that might sound sometimes, in a democracy, accountability matters. But it must come with a recognition that SimCity mayors don't fear the wrath of the voters.

///

I want to recognize that a 10% reallocation is fucking pathetic and still Toronto council couldn’t do it…but at least we know where we stand, and with whom.

We often look at politics as a sport or a soap opera, and it feels great when your team scores points or your favourite character delivers a knockout performance. Even I was like “dang girl” when Nancy Pelosi defiantly ripped up the President’s speech. I was also touched by Jagmeet Singh’s touching display of emotion the day after he was ejected from the House of Commons for calling out bigotry. But that’s not politics, that’s a long running TV drama series, so as disappointed as I am in what happened, I’m not gonna yell at her in the street because White Man Raging is not a great look these days…or ever.

So let’s not make this about my neighbour, Cllr. Ana Bailão. Let’s make it about the system of oppression she has willingly chosen to uphold and tearing that motherfucker down piece by piece.

[boo-yu]

Diary

Don’t remember when did I purchase the audiobook 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos, but since it’s available, why not listen to it. So I listened the book this weekend while driving. 

It is fascinating, and I wished I had listened to it sooner. But I doubt it will help me just because the perspectives would be different. 

Here are the 12 rules: 

1 Stand up straight with your shoulders straight 

2 Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping

3 Befriend people who want the best for you

4 Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not the useless person you are today 

5 Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them 

6 Set your house in order before you criticize the world 

7 Pursue what is meaningful, not what is expedient 

8 Tell the truth. Or at least don’t lie 

9 Assume the person you are listening to knows something you don’t 

10 Be precise in your speech 

11 Do not bother children while they are skateboarding 

12 Pet a cat when you encounter one in the street 

It is interesting to think about everything, and the important role philosophy has played in my daily life recently: one of my best friends just told me she has been reading German philosopher’s piece recently. 

How I feel about all these: I had lots thoughts during my way back. But somehow I would like to write about another thing first: Be nice to people. I guess this can tie to Rule 9. 

So on my way back, I made a short term plan for myself: I need to start writing. I don’t like my work laptop; I don’t like carrying the old Mac; I don't like iPad keyboard; I traded-in the broken Mac; therefore, I need a new laptop. I have been thinking about getting a new one for months, but haven’t made a decision yet: which model? Or do I really need a new one? I mean I can still use my work laptop, it’s free, and I have been using it for a few months, and I don’t need to take care of it. I can use my desktop if I work at home, and iPad is enough for watching video. BUT, I asked myself again: do you still want a new laptop? And the answer is yes. SO I drove to Apple store. 

I went in, checked, compared two models, and undecided. No sales approached me, until there’s one guy asked me if I have any question, and he would be happy to answer. I told him I was considering getting a new Mac, just don’t know which one to get yet. The conversation continued, and somehow turned into a casual conversation, like what you use it for, and where did you go to school, what do you do. Actually when he stood next to me and talked to me, I smelt alcohol. I didn’t like it: day drinking? hang-over? Not professional. But what do I care? Somehow he was trying to show me a video he edited on his Mac, and it happened to be his snowboarding trip. “Oh, I also snowboard.” He immediate became more excited:” Oh year?” Despite my suspicion that he was not sure which Mac I was going to get, I went ahead and told him which one I was going to get. Payment next, of course. Surprisingly, after he showed me the total amount, he said: “I assume you are going to use it for school, and you are in University,” and he applied the educational discount for me, without me asking, and with him knowing I started working already. Of course I played along and said thank you. But it is just amazing, how people react when they feel respected and maybe have some common interests with you. 

This is very interesting. I haven’t had a theory or thought on how this works yet, but it reminds me of M, who always tries to play tricks with people (at least that’s how I feel). He would try to make people like him, so that he can take advantage of people. For me, it’s all just shitty moves. I also remember him mentioning his sister did not have a rough childhood because she was just smart and cute, while he seemed to have struggled a lot. I don’t know if gender played a role in this. I need to organize my thoughts and revisit this topic. 

I might need to read the book another time, cause for now, I am thinking about things just happened to me when I was listening the book. Specifically, relationship. It is not just relationship with others, but also relationship with myself. 

In some senses, I am grateful for everything, because otherwise, I will be the spoiled, stubborned girl, arrogant, and thinks she’s smart and capable of doing anything, while don’t quite understand what she wants and gets irritated and jealous when she feel insecure. Maybe. But people live perfectly fine and happy without thinking about questions like: what do I want, how can I improve myself? What’s the reason behind things? Or even, what’s the meaning of life? But again: what did I do wrong? 

My last relationship was a Chaos, and even now, I only understood half of that, by that I mean myself. I did not know my motive, did understand my suffering. I get a sense of why I did it, and believed my self-help mechanism in getting out of it, lots of efforts and more chaos. But eventually, I made my mind and stepped out of it. Now I totally understood the saying that the real farewell is silent: I made a decision and move on. He did everything he could to lure me back, but everything looked like a show to me. 

This is why I think I was acting so stupid and said stupid things Friday night. I guess this was amazing in some sense that I did not believe someone could be so dramatic cause I felt like it was just a show. But my experience made me believe it could be out of frustration, consists of the eager to love and the anger of not being loved. I messed up, from the beginning. The moment I did not feel right, I should have spoken up. I do not like confrontation and have a tendency of avoiding conflicts. I tried indirectly, while the indicator, the responses further confused me. As a lawyer, I believe every word mean somethings. So when I get a response contains the phrase “this time,” I couldn’t help wondering, does it mean, next time would be ok? Yet, I failed to ask. I was afraid. 

But, how stupid was I to say something like I believed he was the one. While I was drunk: drunk enough to say things I truly believe while not wise at all to say.  Also I’ve made a decision to delete him, so what’s the worst thing that could happen? The worst was already happening, thus it did not really matter, so I might just say it. -- Stupid. But why? What made him so special? Don’t you just meet? Don’t you barely know anything about him? All true. BUT.. First of all, the dramatic entrance: I probably still love drama, how we met makes a good story, so that’s just the advantage. What else? Timing and characters. 

There is a saying: you will have three people you love in your life: one loved you, one you loved, and the right one. I didn’t believe it: I believed I was going to be with P, living in Chicago, having a house, two dogs, and happily ever after. Somehow, I messed up, he became the one loved me. I guess M was the one I loved, or at least at some point. I was lost for a long time, and finally had time with myself, trying to find my inner peace, not trying to be in a relationship, just spending time with myself. Then, I found D. For me, a perfect timing. As summarized by my friend, I don’t like people chasing me, I only like the person I picked. Inevitably, before I realized anything, I found myself attracted to D already: finance + engineer + Chicago + Aquarius + New York + 30+ years old + wanting to go to bourbon tour with me + would learn scuba diving. It’s too good to be true. I am sensitive, so I can feel his interests, his withdraw, and his hesitation. Again, as a lawyer, I couldn’t help thinking everything he said, and trying to figure out what made him not interested any more? Did I say something wrong? Did I do something wrong? Why is he telling me he is an introvert? Somehow I believe he did not believe I was accountable, maybe he did not believe love at first sight? 

I don’t believe it, so I want to meet him in person. I want to know more about him, see how he acts. The combination of things made me fall for him. But I was too focused on myself, and too afraid to ask how he felt or what he wanted. One thing I learned from the book is people tend to be willfully blindness. Same happened to me: he must be busy. I kept finding excuses for him. The moment I felt uncomfortable, I should have acted. There is a story in the book, where the anger, all the emotion, unsatisfactions are a baby monster; when people ignore them, they grow, and one day became so big that you cannot ignore. I think I have accumulated all my feelings to the extend I cannot handle any more, and it explored. -- Stupid. 

Another thing bothered me was when D asked me how I behave when I get angry, I don’t really know, so I said I would not confront and will calm myself down and talk, I believe I said when I was younger. He was like, is it passive aggressive? that’s terrible. I did not know how to explain it. I totally agree passive aggressive is horrible, cause I was treated by M the entire time, ignorance, neglect, manipulation, purposely avoiding-- basically in every possible ways, that’s my understanding of passive aggressive. I did not really know how to answer because I don’t remember when was the last time I was angry and not treated by the passive aggressive behavior, so I was like: when I was younger. Thus, I was not sure why D would not response to me sometimes. Seems like a passive aggressive behavior, while he knew passive aggressive is a bad behavior. Very confused. 

This is longer than I have expected, but I don’t even feel like I started my points yet. I have to list things to do tomorrow cause I really need to draft something I promised. I need to talk to myself to sort things out. Past two months’ memories are all blur, it’s just amazing how human brain and body functions to protect ourselves. 

[mysticmarlowe-blog]

ACIM and the Fallacy of Twin Flame Ascension

As a psychic, one question I get asked a lot is: “Why would God bring this man (or woman) into my life, only to snatch him away again? He must have a sick sense of humour!” There is certainly a very strange experience out there to be had in the world, common amongst my clients, both male and female, gay and straight. I would estimate that one in every five of my psychic readings addresses a scenario not far away from the following: My client is busy getting on with life, asking for nothing, troubling no one. Suddenly, out of the clear blue sky, someone drops into her lap. This mysterious person stirs an ancient memory in her, reminds her of something she had long forgotten. And now she realises that this is what she had been searching for her entire life. Everything now makes sense; all the pain and anguish and loneliness of the past are healed in an instant. A connection of indescribable depth and resonance now unfolds with the promise of a deeply committed relationship. She has finally completed the long and winding road home; she has reached the promised land. Hallelujah! God is good after all. Thank you, God! And then, within a year or two, sometimes even less, the mysterious person is gone again, without so much as a bye-your-leave. And my client, who was perfectly fine before all this happened, is now left feeling that she cannot go on, and that life has lost all meaning for her. One long-term client of mine described her experience as like “being eaten alive from the inside, without being able to do anything about it”. So, does God have a sick sense of humour? Does he enjoy seeing us writhe around in unbearable suffering? Surely, he must be, at the very least, as pitilessly indifferent to our plight as nature itself? A scientist would explain that physical attraction is a biological function essential for the perpetuation of the human race, and in accordance with nature’s template, it arises, persists for a while and then dies away. There is no God, and no mystery either. There is only the destruction, decay and death that is essential to creation’s flourishing on both a micro and macro scale. Charles Darwin, once a devout Christian, eventually lost his faith in God by studying the macabre habits of the wasp: “I cannot persuade myself”, he wrote, “That a beneficent and omnipotent God would have designedly created the Ichneumonidae with the express intention of their feeding within the living bodies of Caterpillars”. According to Richard Dawkins in “River out of Eden”, it was the digger wasps that really put the spiritual lid on it for Darwin. He read that a female digger wasp not only lays her eggs in a caterpillar so that her larva can feed on it, she also paralyses the caterpillar with her sting without killing it, in order to keep the meat fresh. The caterpillar must therefore be literally aware of being eaten alive from the inside but unable to do anything about it. This really needn’t have been the end of the road for Darwin though. In “Dialogue on Awakening” by Tom Carpenter (a record of a conversation between the author and Jesus, the Awakened Christ), Tom explains how Jesus had confronted the same paradox with a very different result. “Always curious as to how Jesus’ awakening had unfolded here on earth, I asked how this had occurred. The answer was very interesting.” Jesus, it seems, was baffled by a single question: If God created the world, which was the accepted belief, and if He was all loving, why could he find no evidence of that in the world? And so, he began to meditate, at his favourite place “beside a small stream in the nearby hills”. In Tom’s words: “It was as he focused on these issues which his perception could not fathom that he first broke through the boundary of that perception and became aware of a Presence within his mind; a source of knowing unrelated to anything he had experienced before. He “heard” an inner Voice say to him that his perception of a loving God was correct, but he was looking for Him in the wrong places”. So, this is how Jesus learned how to become a Christ. Through the practice of meditation. He learned to become so silent, that the whole turmoil of his mind disappeared, and he tuned into the still, small voice of God within him. Jesus learned to be a listener, a receiver, to allow his own thinking mind to disappear so completely that something totally different could arise. The Beatitudes and Sermon on the Mount were not thought up by Jesus, they were received by him in the stillness of his own silence. He was merely the vehicle. This is what the spiritual path is all about. Learning to identify the voice in your head as ego, and learning to still that voice, and enter silence, so that another voice will arise. My years of study on non-dualistic thought systems such as A Course in Miracles, Sufism and Buddhism have taught me that the natural world, where all things die, is not governed by the laws of God. God did not create a world where creatures are aware of being eaten alive from the inside and unable to do anything about it. This natural world arises from an erroneous belief in separation from a loving God. “You do not realise the magnitude of that one error. It was so vast and so completely incredible that from it a world of total unreality had to emerge. What else could come of it? Its fragmented aspects are fearful enough, as you begin to look at them. But nothing you have seen begins to show you the enormity of the original error, which seemed to cast you out of Heaven, to shatter knowledge into meaningless bits of disunited perceptions, and to force you to make further substitutions” (A Course in Miracles, T-18.I.5) This sounds very wordy and complicated, but all it is really saying is that once, before we got here, we had a belief that we had separated from God. The course calls it the “tiny mad idea”. And from that one idea came the entire belief in the cruel and indifferent natural world of death, destruction and decay, of being eaten alive from the inside. God is neither cruel or indifferent, He wants us to come home, to wake up from this illusion, to end our suffering and to choose life. This is what Jesus achieved at his favourite place, “beside a small stream in the nearby hills” and what Charles Darwin missed, as he was too engrossed in his study of the Ichneumonidae to suspect the bigger picture. Oftentimes, my client will tell me with the upmost certainty that that her now-departed lover is her twin-flame. Sometimes this is a neurotic, fear-based attachment, but just as often I sense the wisps of memory of an ancient melody behind her words. Twin-flames are not a New Age farce; the idea of one soul occupying two bodies was written about extensively by ancient Greek philosophers and the concept is frequently referred to in the Gnostic Gospels, such as those of Thomas and Mary Magdalene. Yet, because we humans haven’t yet mastered the simple art of stilling the inner-voice, we make an idol of the twin-flame phenomenon and ignore the radiant truth that shines behind this idol. We try to slice and dice and merchandise a mystery that cannot be pinned down, and therefore cut ourselves off from the true immensity that a twin-flame connection signifies in our spiritual lives. We worship the finger that points to the moon. As a result, a multi-million-pound industry has exploded. Twin-flame master-teachers are emerging from all corners of the internet, and people gather around them to exude hosannas and deploy palm fronds. New terms like vibrational alignment and heart activation are being bandied around on dedicated Facebook groups. You can purchase services such as energy cleansing and Akashic Record clearing for several hundred dollars, and for several thousand you can enrol in a twin-flame college where you can graduate to “ascension”. There doesn’t seem to be complete agreement between twin-flame master-teachers as to what ascension is, but it certainly has something to do with self-realisation or awakening to the truth of who you are. But the road to this ascension seems to be scattered with food for the ego to chew on. Thirty- or sixty-day programmes are available, as are courses of ten or thirteen or a hundred modules, covering diverse topics in and around the subject of awakening. “Ten signs that reunion is about to happen”, “The meaning of 11:11”, and then, almost as an afterthought, “Letting go of your attachment to your twin-flame”. Warning the self against the ego, we can hope to be of some effect, warning the ego against itself, we are surely addressing the wrong object. Stilling the mind and letting go of everything you think you are is the only way forward. The lighter you travel, the easier the journey. Remember poor Darwin. Furthermore, this ascension business seems to be considered as a means for reuniting with a lost lover, rather than an end in itself; the ultimate end of returning home to God. From a unified perspective, this is rather topsy-turvy, upside-down thinking. When you do realise your own true nature, as love itself, you have no needs that a lover would fulfil. These twin-flame institutions need demystifying, as the worst of them seem to be no more than places where narcissists and co-dependents can seek each other out. Last week on YouTube I caught sight of a feet washing ceremony take place; of a garlanded and enthroned twin-flame couple, in reunion and therefore, presumably, ascendancy. I am reminded of a story a Buddhist teacher once told me: Maya the evil one was walking along the road with his attendant when ahead of them appeared a man whose eyes were transfixed to a spot on the ground. His face was lit up with a radiant light. “What is he looking at?” the attendant asked Maya. “Only a piece of truth”, Maya replied. “Aren’t you worried?” the attendant asked. “No”, replied Maya, “If it gets serious, I’ll organise it”. So, if the purpose of twin-flame union isn’t the uninterrupted joy of the union for its own sake, then what is its purpose? I believe our twin-flame is our divine helper, our mighty companion on the winding road to the real world. Like an Abraxas rooster before the dawn, he chants out the clarion call to remind us of our connection to the Light. It is only by his running away from us in the world that he is drawing close to us in spirit, helping us develop, like Jesus, a faculty of interior hearing. This faculty is developed by turning the soul from outer things, whether material or psychological, and turning inward to the centre where lies the divine spark, the Spirit, the Self. Herein lies the key to freedom from twin-flame misery. Be willing, if only for a moment, to recognise in this connection something so much more immense than the possibility of being together in this crazy world where all things die. Be willing, again if only for a moment, to see the utter cosmic irrelevance of this much idolised concept of “reunion”. Instead, develop a daily practice of following your twin-flame into that intermediate space between the natural world and the spirit world; to the imaginal world, where he is beckoning you. Here is the space where Mary Magdalene met Jesus after his resurrection and came to understand the nature of his love for her. Here is the space from where she wrote her Gospel. “Lord, I see you now in this vision” And the Lord answered: “You are blessed, for the sight of me does not disturb you” (Mary 10:12-15) Gradually you will come to see how much more real the imaginal realm is than the natural world, just as Mary came to understand how much richer her meetings were with Jesus here than in Jerusalem or at the shore of Galilee or by the well. You will come to understand how much more you are learning about yourself here than in the world of bodies, form, fear and attachment. And believe me, only then will you be able to let go of your attachment to reunion. A twin-flame connection is so strong, it is quite impossible to let go of without realising this. I have never seen it done by acquiring more knowlege, or by willpower alone, and I doubt I ever will. Then, and only then, will your twin-flame runner come back into your earthly life. I’ve seen it happen so many times. Miracles have a way of being simple whilst keeping faith with the complexity of life experience. The process is utterly extraordinary, but it is also reliable. Not everyone I know who does this has reunited with their twin-flame already, but they have all, without exception had weird stuff happening almost immediately. Stuff that they couldn’t make up if they tried. Human beings are on a windy road, and love is only found by walking it. For a psychic twin flame reading contact jane@revegbert.co.uk

[the-record-columns]

Nov. 15, 2017: Columns

     The Wilkes Antiques Roadshow

By KEN WELBORN

Record Publisher

For the past couple of weeks, The Record has been running a news brief on the upcoming Wilkes Antiques Roadshow, sponsored by the Friends of the Wilkes County Library.

     A few years ago, they held these events and they seemed to be popular, but I think the guy who did their appraisals wasn't available any longer or something, so it has been a while since they hosted one.

     Well, as the opening sentence said, it is back.

     The event will be held in the Friends of the Library meeting room at the Wilkes County Public Library on Tenth Street in North Wilkesboro, on Saturday morning, Nov. 18, beginning at 10 a.m. The way it works is for a $15 ticket, you get to bring in one "easily carried item" to be appraised by Mr. Don Schweikert, a man with 40 years experience in the "appraisal, acquisition, and placement of American antiques and collectibles," as their advertising flyer reads.

     The allotted number of tickets for an appraisal is now sold out, but the public is invited to attend for free and enjoy the items on display and perhaps learn a bit about some really cool stuff. I personally have never taken any of my "treasures" to be appraised, but have attended as a spectator and thoroughly enjoyed it every time.

     Well, this year is different. Thanks to a gentle nudge by Friends of the Library supporter Kendall Forester, I will be bringing an item to be appraised on Saturday.

     But, what to bring. I thought about bringing in "The Stick," because indeed it is truly amazing, but would be hard to show to everyone. It goes without saying, however, that there is a standing invitation for anyone who wants to see what has been referred to as "...the neatest stick since the one Moses tossed down in front of Pharoah," at the Main Street offices of The Record and Thursday Printing anytime the door is unlocked and the lights are on. I could bring my Helene Curtis Empress Permanent Wave machine, complete with the little footstool which has the Helene Curtis logo on it. It is approximately 100 years old, is plumb scary looking, and may or may not be worth a lot of money. But, it was a gift from my wonderful friend Arlene Staley, and therefore priceless. Not to even mention the Empress is a long way from being an "easily carried item."

     So, what else? Perhaps I could take my 1960 grocery store stand-up display of of Santa Claus drinking a Pepsi, that's rare; or the like brand-new Stetson Hat clock from then Payne Clothing Store, which has been closed since 1960; or even a Stetson hat from 1918 with "Absher and Blackburn" stamped on the leather band inside, which I was lucky enough to acquire from Mac Atwood.

     There is just too much to choose from.

     My Allen #5 portable record player from 1925, which is in perfect working condition, might make the cut; or perhaps the positively perfect Singer portable sewing machine with a wooden carrying case that is made better than most furniture these days. Singer is still in business, and you can look up the serial number of one of their old machines and find out which plant, where it was located, and the month and year of manufacture of just about any of them That old sewing machine it is truly one of my favorite things, very popular with my visitors, and a much appreciated gift from Paul and Gretchen Barelski.

     I have been walking from front to back of the office all morning, trying to decide what to take. I have a really neat tobacco plug cutter from the Five Brothers Tobacco Warehouse in Louisville, Kentucky, which I got from our faithful reader Johnnie Jackson in Lillington, North Carolina. A gorgeous hand-made banjo from a stranger in Hickory, North Carolina; a 1952 stroller in amazing condition, and one of the first to convert to a walker when the child has grown a bit; some amazing folk art by Archie Church of North Wilkesboro, all of which are "one-of-a-kinders," and therefore, by definition, hard to appraise; and, of course, I could take my piece of signed W. W. Ballard pottery.

     Any of these items would be fun to take to the Wilkes Antiques Roadshow on Saturday, but I want to take something that fits my often repeated description of the uncounted pieces of things that make of what passes for decoration here at The Record, that is "old, odd, unusual, and eclectic."

     Okay. I've got it. It is something I have very recently acquired, and something I had never seen before-even though a big book can be written about things I have never seen--I have seen right much. And, it is an "easily carried item." As is my habit, I don't usually try to re-do things, preferring to just clean them up, but keeping them in basically in the condition in which I found them.

     So, my mind is made up.

     See you there, at the Wilkes Antique Road Show, Saturday morning, 10 a.m., in the Friends of the Library Meeting Room on the lower floor of the Wilkes County Public Library on Tenth Street in North Wilkesboro.

         Negativity bias

By LAURA WELBORN

Sometimes we get overwhelmed with things that go wrong and then everything starts to look bleak.  A mindfulness practice can be when we let go of those negative thoughts that drive our actions and prejudices us against a positive thought.

     First, we need to think about what you are bringing to the table and what do you need to leave behind in a situation?  

     The next step is to think about the good things you want to share and build on.

     And then ask yourself:  if you could change anything about the situation what would it be?

     We must build on positive thoughts and the good in a situation in order to build trust and be able to change the situation with others.  If people hear positive words and thoughts from us they are more likely to trust us to influence the change we can have in a situation.  This follows the reality that most people do not change or calm down when someone tells them to.  But when they see someone calm and speaking positive it has more of an impact on their own behavior.

     Overall, we need to be more compassionate to ourselves and "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us."  This is about letting go of the negativity bias we all have and it starts with us and letting go of our own misdeeds and leaving behind the prejudices and bias we all have.  

     Another mindful practice is call the "critical voice practice" which is how to have, less judgement of ourselves when someone has said something critical that we then internalize.  This takes resetting our mind and leaving the critical thoughts behind.

     First think back to a time someone was critical to you.

     Then think: "What does this person want?"  If we think that maybe they want to inspire us to do better, or to keep us safe.  Maybe we need to give those people the benefit of the doubt; that their intentions are good (even if there is a chance they were not).  If we believe that they thought we were capable of doing better we access compassion in their intentions rather go straight to our negativity biases.  Most of the time the people most critical of us help us the most by teaching us resiliency and self-compassion.  Just maybe these are the people that can warn us of danger and keep us from making more mistakes.  The point is not to take it personal but to look at the interest behind the words and learn from it.

     So, when my feelings get hurt or I think someone is judging me, I remind myself that maybe this is a warning sign to look closely at my actions and even forgive myself for stepping on someone else's toes.  Asking for forgiveness never hurts to clear the air, as we look at our own intentions we must give ourselves the benefit of the doubt also, and know that we probably did not intend to hurt anyone's' feelings or do something that aggravated them.

   “Ain’t America Beautiful” &  Other Birthday Ramblings

By Heather Dean Reporter/Photojournalist

There's nothing like Social Media to remind you of how hectic your schedule is, and how little rest you'll be getting in the coming days. Such was the week for this journalist, what with all the ceremonies for our amazing and wonderful veterans, not to mention the birthdays of many of my dearest friends. I wasn't quite prepared for my birthday that seemingly came from out of nowhere this year. I know what you're thinking- how does one forget their OWN birthday? Well, lucky for me, the gods of Facebook were on the case, and with several lovely suggestions of what to do and where to go in my "spare weekend time." Also were links to many non-profits that I could choose to get donations for.

  But I was too busy for weekend shenanigans on my own. I had the honor and the privilege of attending the 57th Annual Gold Star Banquet at our Local Blue Ridge Mountain Veterans of Foreign Wars post 1142 on Thursday. Those in attendance were honoring   soldiers killed in action and recognizing the family members that kept their memories alive.

  I would be remiss if I didn't tell you that George Morgan's reading of The Rugged Old Flag gave me chill bumps. Or that Walter McSwaim reciting In Flanders Fields didn't bring a tear to my eye.                        

  The evening was framed perfectly by the delicious dinner that Miles and the Ladies Auxiliary prepared, and also by guest musician Rockie Lynne, a young veteran himself, with the voice of an angel.

  Mr. Lynne would be too humble to agree with me, but it was one of the best performances I have ever heard, and those in attendance agreed.  Turns out he and I have two things in common- my friend Chris Thompson that he served with, and our November 14 birth dates.  

  Mr. Lynne opened with Amazing Grace, and performed from his album "Songs for Soldiers", including one entitled "Ain't America Beautiful", and ended the set with our National Anthem. Let me tell you how powerful it was to hear all those veterans, including North Wilkesboro Mayor Robert Johnson, and the rest of the crowd singing along. I left with my belly, and my heart, full.  

   Friday evening I was invited to the Brushy Mountain Detachment's dinner for the Marine Corps League's Birthday Party, 242 years young. (If you're doing the math, yes, America had a Marine Corps before the Declaration of Independence.) Being able to eat ice cream and talk with Edwin Canter, Joe McMillan, Jim Swofford, Hobert Yates and the like, is just the bee's knees in my book. I have said it before in my writing and I will say it again- those  men & women that you see with their WWII, Korea & Vietnam hats on, will be more of a badass than you could ever imagine to be.

  It's so humbling to see the smiles and hug the necks of the men and women who have sacrificed so much, turn around and tell me that they appreciate what I do for them, that they enjoy the articles I write, and can't wait to see my next piece. In all honesty, I am only the scribe that writes down their stories. I haven't done anything but put ink to paper.    

 Whenever I have thanked a veteran for their service, they always reply "Thank you. It was my honor." No. The honor is truly mine. To not only meet you, and know you, but to call many of you "friend."

 Back to my birthday, social media be damned: Donate to one of the most deserving organizations I know. Write a check to VFW Post 1142, PO Box 357, North Wilkesboro, NC 28659, and mark it down as "Heather's Birthday Present." Support your local VFW, & OUR veterans.

Heather Dean is a theatre major working in jouralism. She keeps pinky promises, and never turns down shenanigans. You can reach her at therecordofwilkes@gmail.com

       Time to Come Home

By EARL COX

 Could it happen again? Many Jews and Israel supporters are taking a hard look at the disturbing signs of our times, and asking if there are parallels to 1930s Germany. How did so many Jews miss the warning signs of the Holocaust? How do we interpret similar trends today?

     Once Adolf Hitler became chancellor in 1933, an "ascending grade of injustice, political reprisal, concentration camps, religious persecution … purges, obliteration of speech and press … and expropriation" commenced, said Bishop Peter Ireton in 1938. By 1941, escape routes were blocked.

     Economic upheaval was an early sign. First World War reparations triggered hyperinflation. By 1936, Germany faced financial disaster. In 1937, Nazi leader Hermann Göring plotted to embezzle Jewish wealth to pay the deficit. Jews first had to declare their wealth. Göring used that database to impose steep taxes, and in 1938, he nationalized Jewish property.

     Legal sabotage ensued as Hitler manipulated flaws in the Weimar Constitution. Article 48 specified that in an emergency, the president (a role Hitler usurped) could issue decrees without Reichstag (Parliament's) approval. Since Article 48 failed to define "emergency," it became a "back door" Hitler manipulated to take power legally, the BBC said.

     Just one month after Hitler became chancellor on Jan. 30, 1933, a suspicious fire gutted the Reichstag building. The next day, using the fire as an excuse, the Nazis Nazis exploited Article 48 to suspend freedom of speech, press, assembly and association, privacy of communications, and the inviolability of the home from unlawful search and seizure.

     Article 76, which required a two-thirds majority to amend the Constitution, posed another obstacle to Nazi control. They used the fire and suspended Constitutional freedoms to place political opponents in new concentration camps before the vote to amend the Constitution. Thus, in March 1933, an emergency decree established absolute Nazi authority, bypassing the Constitution and enabling Hitler to rule by decree without legislation or Reichstag approval. And that's not to mention the elephant in the room-anti-Semitism.

     Unsettling signs today include escalating Islamist extremism and sharia strongholds in Western Europe, surging anti-Semitism, and the rise of ultra-right parties.  In America, U.S. Constitutional freedoms are under siege, including freedom of religion, speech, bearing arms, and the press. NSA and CIA leaks revealed unprecedented domestic surveillance without probable cause. Banking and tax regulations monitor citizens' assets, including charitable donations, which often identify religious and political affiliation. Government entities have used this data to attack political opponents.

     The Miami Herald reported a secret, emergency martial-law plan to "suspend the U.S. Constitution," turn U.S. control over to FEMA, and "appoint military commanders to run state and local governments." According to Geopolitical Monitor, FEMA has more than 800 detainment camps in the United States, allegedly built for detaining illegal immigrants, though they have not been used for that purpose.

     A 2013 Army Reserves training presentation listed ultra-Orthodox Jews, evangelical Christians and Catholics alongside Hamas, al-Qaida, and other "religious extremists." The Army denied prior knowledge of the event.

     Several sources, one of whom received martial-law training in 2016 from a DHS-affiliated security company, said trainees were to go house-to-house and ask specific questions to determine if people are Jews or Christians, both of whom could be targeted as "domestic terrorists." Security personnel were to impound any food in excess of a two-week supply per household.

     It's not a matter of whether a government is right or left, because the value of a Jewish-or any life-transcends political affiliation. In private conversations with law professor David Bernstein, Jewish organization professionals defined the "greatest threat to the security of the American Jewish community" as "changing demographics"- "a euphemism for a growing population of Arab migrants to the United States," Bernstein said in The Washingtaon Post. Yet liberal Jews do not express much concern about admitting large numbers of "refugees and immigrants from countries where extreme anti-Semitic sentiments are mundane."

     We should all be gravely concerned about what may happen if a dictator under the banner of some "-ism" insinuates himself into power. The mechanisms and precedents are already in place.  If these indicators signal ultimate danger to Diaspora Jews, or if any are sitting on the fence, they should consider coming home to Israel, the only democracy in the Middle East-and the only safe haven from the anti-Semitism engulfing the world. There is no better time to make Aliyah.

[redroses79]

17 Ways to beat depression and anxiety immediately

Suffering from anxiety and/or depression is actually quite common, regardless of what age you are. There can be so many causes of this dis-ease, but when you really look at it, it is mostly due to fear - which is a part of us that creates a plethora of self-sabotaging behaviours (such as worry, doubt, low self-esteem or confidence, etc).

Being a sufferer of this dis-ease myself, I’ve learned to accept certain things in my life and also letting go of some. I understand that we are all vulnerable in so many ways, and by accepting our vulnerability is a strength in itself and something that can allow us to open up to a new level of understanding of how life should work which can be an antidote to both anxiety and depression. At first, I thought that being vulnerable is a sign of weakness and that I have to do everything that I can to overcome it. But I was wrong. Instead we should accept it, welcome it, and learn from it. Look deeper into it and you can find the solutions.

Over the years, I’ve done certain things to make myself feel a lot better whenever I’m “down in the dumps”. They do work, some to a bigger extent as life-changing (if you are open to it, that is). So, here I offer you the 17 ways (as far as I have done) to beat depression and anxiety immediately.

1) Reading 

I find that reading books that are uplifting, inspiring, and motivating can change your life and make you feel better instantly. It can give you plenty of ideas and be more creative in your life. Make an effort to read a book or two a month, or a chapter a day to help you through. I can’t emphasise hard enough how powerful reading a good book can be. 

Here are some book titles (to name a few) which I find so inspiring and life-changing:

“The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho

“The Courage to be Creative” by Doreen Virtue

“The Autobiography of a Yogi” by Paramahansa Yogananda

“You can heal your life” by Louise L Hay

2) Listening to an audiobook

This is a great alternative to those who don’t like to read. I like to do both from time to time, and listening to an audio book is just as powerful. Some books do come in an audio version that you can buy or download online. Sometimes when you’re out for a long drive in the car, or a ride in the bus or train, you can just pop on your ipod/iphone and listen to an inspiring audiobook to pass the time.

3) Do something fun (and silly, once in a while)

You can’t simply rule this one out. It can be difficult at most times to get yourself out there and do something that’s wildly fun (okay, it doesn’t have to be wild) but it does take the mind off of things that are stressing you out. It can be as simple as going to the movies or hanging out with family or friends, setting up a barbecue, going parasailing or diving, and so on..whatever you can think of that would be fun. I know I like doing makeup from time to time, and sometimes I’d just play with makeup, do my nails, and watch youtube tutorials just for fun, if I wanted to do something different that is. I like to switch things up. It could also be fun dressing up at home too! Don’t be afraid to do something like this once in a while. And don’t forget to take up fun cooking or arts and crafts classes.

4) Connecting with nature

I find this to be one of the most powerful ways to uplift your energy. It is one of the most refreshing things. It is so important to connect with nature at least once a week, like going to the beach, or out for a walk, listening to the sound of birds chirping, the wind blowing, or even breathing fresh air! It will lift your energies up instantly. Connecting with nature will also remind us to connect with ourselves. 

5) Exercise

Exercising lifts your mood and energy up instantly. Take a walk or get on a treadmill (at home or at the gym) at least for 20 to 30 minutes a day. Or perhaps even doing some yoga stretches at home for 15 minutes will definitely do the trick. I find that doing a yoga headstand once in a while gets you into a good mood as you’re allowing the blood and oxygen to flow to your brain. Whatever it is, you just need to get up and get your body moving.

6) Sleep

Getting enough sleep is key to a healthy and balanced lifestyle. It allows your body to heal and repair itself. Therefore giving your body enough time to sleep and rest is important. Get at least 6 to 8 hours of sleep each day, and if you’re feeling tired during the day especially in the afternoon it wouldn’t hurt to take a 15 to 20 minute power nap. Taking power naps can be refreshing and will give you a boost of inspiration and new ideas.

7) Music

I have a secret to feeling better every day. I remember crying in the shower when I was feeling depressed. In all honesty, the bathroom is a place that can either suck your energy out or it can bring you pleasure, the choice is yours. It can deplete your energy because when you are in the bathroom alone, all you can think about is your pain! So, my secret to making bathrooms (or showers) a place of pleasure is listening to music every time you’re in there! Trust me, it works. I listen to lovely soothing music while I’m taking my morning and evening showers, and it gives a boost of lovely and uplifting energy. However, listen to only soft instrumental music. It will put a smile on your face and will encourage you to love yourself even more. Your body will also love it. Just try it for yourself.

Generally, listening to soft and gentle music everyday, wherever you are, is good for your body, mind and soul.

8) Retail therapy

Okay, I know you’re probably thinking “YES!”. Who doesn’t love shopping, right? I know I do. However, it is only a temporary solution, but it does help to lift your mood and energy while it lasts. Having said this, I don’t recommend to go overboard on your spending as you do not want to feel regret having to spend too much and end up feeling depressed about it! That certainly beats the purpose. Make sure that you only spend WITHIN your budget, and DO NOT use a credit card! Decide how much you want to spend and what you want to spend on that can only make you feel better, such as going for a spa massage, or buying a good book or a calming incense kit for your home or an ipod to play music wherever you go, or something that you can keep your mind occupied on and make you feel better.

9) Children

Having kids has been a pleasure to me and up until now I can’t begin to express my gratitude how lucky I am to be able to have children. Spending time with my own kids has given me so much inspiration and they are simply one of the reasons why I must keep moving on with my life and becoming a better person every day. If you don’t have kids, find a way to surround yourself with children once in a while. Perhaps volunteering to look after your nieces or nephews or babysitting your friend’s children. Being with them will give you a sense of joy and happiness and wonder. Children are full of love and happiness. They just have so much of it and they’ll gladly share it with you too.

10) Detox

Detoxing your body is also one of the most powerful ways to clear your mind and body of negativity and toxicity, which thereby can lift your energy higher and your body feeling very light. Once in a while, you need to detox your body in order to feel realigned with yourself again. Eating heavy meals and meats every day throughout the day can be so acidic and take a toll on your digestive system, which can take up too much energy to digest rather than spreading that energy throughout your body and mind. 

Going on a juice cleansing detox for 2 or 3 days a month or a week (whichever makes you feel good) can be powerful, and so is fasting. On this note, taking up a healthy alkaline-rich diet by eating clean food or even eating the right foods the right way can help with balancing your hormones and keeping your mind clear of negativity. I highly recommend reading good books on how to keep your body healthy through detoxing and have a balanced lifestyle. My recommended title for now is the “Beauty Detox” by Kimberly Snyder.

11) Calming incense

This is also one of the great ways to feel relaxed and calmed immediately. Lighting up an incense stick, made from essential oils such as Lavender, Ylang ylang, or eucalyptus to name a few, is very effective in calming the nerves. It brightens up your mood and helps to clear the negative energy away. You can do this in your bathroom while you’re taking a nice bath, or anywhere in your home where you spend your quiet times the most.

12) Create goals

Have a goal or some goals in your life. Creating goals for yourself can get your mind activated and encourage you to think of new refreshing ideas about what you can do to go out and about. It can be a short- or long-term goal, whatever it is, have some. Without goals, life is meaningless. Having goals mean having a sense of purpose in life, and it gives you reason to move on and serve for the greater good.

13) Art

People usually think that you need to be born to be creative and create art pieces instantly without learning. Well, I think that’s bull****. I believe that everyone can be creative in so many ways, we just need to make an effort to learn some things. In this instance, art is a beautiful way of connecting with yourself in a much higher level. It is so meditative and gives you a heightened sense of peace and joy from within because you’re in touch with yourself on a deeper level. Being a self-taught artist myself, I know this to be the truth. Even if drawing or painting circles or a straight line is all you know, that can be a great start to channeling your artistic-self and getting to know yourself better. Take on an artistic endeavour, and you won’t regret it. It just means that you’re giving yourself a chance to shine. Most of the great minds, thinkers, and inventors who have ever lived before were artists too.

14) Positive affirmations

Make an effort to remove all negative self-talk that simply is nothing but a self-sabotaging act on yourself. Speak to yourself every day in the most positive way that you can come up with. Your body wants you to love it, and that begins with speaking in a loving and positive tone. Say “I love you” to yourself and give yourself either a pat on the back or a big hug. Affirm to yourself that “I deserve to be happy and wealthy in every way” or anything that you wish to say to yourself. Do this every day in front of the mirror and watch how your life will change. Positive affirmations can change your life as it alters every cell in your body and lifts your energy for good.

15) Energy Healing

There are several healing methods out there that you can do to realign and rejuvenate yourself, and increase your energy levels. The Chinese often call this energy “Chi”. It is so important to keep this “Chi” energy flowing smoothly in our bodies to keep us balanced and healthy. Sometimes when your body goes through some kind of trauma or even an illness, it also means that you may have blocked energy somewhere in your body.  The simplest solution to this is of course finding the right healing method for you to unblock that energy. Some of them that I know are such as Reiki, Crystal and Chakra healings. There are possibly more types of healing methods out there that can shift and unblock your energy. I have never personally tried Reiki before, but I have done some classes on how to do both crystal and chakra healing on myself previously and they do work. 

Energy clearing is so important for the health of your body, mind and soul, because wherever we go and who we are with, we are always absorbing the energies of our surroundings and of the people that we hang out with, thereby affecting our own energy levels too. If no clearing has been done before, the accumulated energy within your body can be blocked and remain stagnant over time, which can also in turn affect the health of your physical body. So, find ways to clear your energy once or twice daily or once a week, or however much you feel you need to do so.

16) Praying

I know that sometimes we may feel that praying doesn’t work no matter how much we pray, but it gives us all the more reason to keep praying. Praying does work, providing that we pray entirely from our hearts and souls. The emotion and energy that we give to praying is so important as God listens more to how we feel. If we feel that we aren’t being given enough, then we would always feel insufficient in life. But if we feel that joy is naturally inherent within us and that we are always taken care of, then that is what we will always attract, joy and abundance. Pray from your heart and your prayers will eventually be answered. Don’t underestimate the power of prayers. 

17) Meditation

Alongside praying, I also believe in the power of being in silence. It gives us a chance to reconnect with the power that we have within us, and getting to know ourselves better. Spending some time in quiet solitude every single day will give you a sense of power and self-discovery each time you do this. You will see how capable you are of focusing on the task that you do, and how much fresh new ideas and inspiration that you can gain by being in silence. Do this at least 10 to 20 minutes (or more) twice a day, and watch how your life will change from the way you think to the way you behave. On a bigger scale and over time, everything about you will change for the better. Your mood and energy levels will be higher as you keep yourself aligned with your higher purpose everyday. You will find yourself doing things that you have never done before or were once afraid of doing. Being in silence does take practice and patience, but you are worth the time to do this. 

So there you have it! The 17 ways to healing yourself from anxiety and depression. By doing at least a combination of a few of the ways I just described above can certainly help you to overcome your struggles and uplift your energy levels. In most cases, and certainly the most important thing is, having a sense of gratitude for life itself can overcome all challenges in your life. Always be grateful for what you have now and continue to harness that gratitude so you can attract all the good things and people into your life. 

Live and love life!

[blanchemonjuvent-blog]

Week 3 (Academic Week 15)

Tuesday, January 31st 2017

Our third week of rehearsals began with Melissa’s feedback and advice. She enjoyed listening to our three monologues; however, she underlined the fact that Nayantara’s text, which is about passion and the ecstasy of falling in love, doesn’t really fit with the two other pieces of writing. It is not the same topic. A solution would then be to find two other monologues that could intertwine with 9’s and to save the two others for another part of the performance.

As for my performance, Melissa felt confused about the focus. Indeed, it is about three boys whom I met during a party and who are soon attracted to me. I may then find three members of the audience and keep an eye contact with every of them, each time I mention one of the three male characters. Melissa added that my text shall be shorter.

Furthermore, if we all share our stories at the same time, we should do similar things (ex: domestic tasks, or talking directly to the audience, etc…).

Melissa also suggested a scene about the madness/foolishness of love. As for our rough idea about a Bollywood dance in a section on romantic love or clichés, we need to get some structure around our writing.

As the end of this session drew near, Melissa gave us a task: we share our stories while sitting. We still cut each other during our story telling. Nayantara starts, but neither Tendai nor I seem to pay attention to Nayantara. Sometimes I do look at her, but it is very brief. This alternative was very interesting as it gave another dimension and dynamic to this scene. However, Melissa highlighted the importance of being careful with pace: we must share the same kind of energy.

 After this meeting full of sound advice, we wrote down a list of the sections we would like to put in our performance:

-          Ecstasy of love

-          Not finding the right love

-          Heartbreak

-          Sex (empowerment; vagina)

-          Getting out of the friend zone

-          Unrequited love

- ��        Flings and rebounds

-          I’m not too young

-          Marriage

-          Societal pressures

Our assignment is now to produce pieces of writing for each section, so that we gather enough material which we can build on.

  Wednesday, February 1st 2017

We all came to this session with a new monologue. Mine is a paragraph from the novel called Indigo Spell by Richelle Mead. The quote is about the feelings of a woman being kissed by her lover from the first time. I read it out loud, as if it were my own work and experience. My colleagues fell for it, until I revealed the name of the writer. We agreed that using author’s texts within our show is a relevant idea.

10 brought spoken words that fit better in other sections such as heartbreaks or unrequited love.

9’s text was about a friend who always gave her advice and pushed her to find the right love. This monologue corresponds to the section about the inability of finding the right love. Moreover, this text could probably fit with my story about the three boys at the party.

 After our talk yesterday, we thought of starting our performance with a Bollywood dance. It would definitely set high energy for what follows!

 10 rewrote her very first monologue which is about three boys with whom it didn’t work out. This time she used the 2nd person, a rectification that shows the acknowledgment of her past lover. She tells them/public directly why it couldn’t work.

During this time of rehearsal, we also deliberated about how to link each section to the other. We may use interludes/transitions between all sections which may be based on one common theme: the inability of finding the right one.

 Thursday, February 2nd 2017

Unfortunately, we are once more not very lucky with the keys: today there was a problem of organisation at the security, so we lost a bit of time…

This session started in a very cheerful way! Indeed, it was our first Bollywood dance rehearsal! Bollywood perfectly integrates our show theme, as this dance has sexual overtones and refers to desire and sensuality.

Then we had a great discussion about the potential presence of male characters on stage:

1)      10 would like to bring different male performers at different points of the show, each time for a short term only, for dialogues for example. I am not totally convinced by this idea as it would give a face to the protagonists of our stories. 9 also worries about the fact that those men could become props if we don’t use them enough.

2)      My idea was therefore to enter ourselves the roles of the men during our stories: it would be more performative and original. Moreover, it would allow to keep the secret regarding the characters’ identity and the audience would freely guess how they would look like. If we perform it well, the spectators would be able to see the male characters via our female bodies.

3)      9 suggested an alternative: In order to bring 10’s text into life, she could take a man from the audience. The implication of someone from the public fits with the subject Unrequited love: indeed, 10 would hug him or take his hand and hold it during the entire recording of a male voice. The embarrassment of the spectator would then remind of 10’s crush who didn’t really care for her.

We adjusted our list of sections, here’s the (definite?) one:

-          Ecstasy

-          Inability of finding the right love (=> interludes)

-          Heartbreak

-          Sex

-          Flings and rebounds

-          Unrequited love

-          Marriage

-          Societal pressure

Friday, February 3rd and Sunday, February 5th 2017.

First of all, we re-organised our deadlines. Then we learnt the second part of our Bollywood dance. It already looks great! We might all be already on stage at the beginning of the performance, doing different everyday tasks.

We also spent a lot of time on my monologue about Unrequited love called “Two Years”. My idea was to share my story next to a fan, an almanac in my hand. I would replace the pages of the almanac as the story unfolds, so that the fan would “blow the days away”. Yet 10 found this scene too two dimensional and too flat. Also, I entered a delicate persona, which is fine because “delicate and pretty people also experience bad times”. However, her request was to break it through. The explanation of my love is wistful and dainty: I should therefor break this mood halfway through, engage more dynamic and a more precise pace.

9 and 10 thus asked me to shout the whole monologue. It was a delicate exercise as I am quite a silent person and I often forgot to maintain the big voice. Still, this time my performance was more engaging, my anger even made sense in some parts of my story.

I then had another idea for this scene: why not use food, eat until I am stuffed until I am stuffed while sharing my story? 9 and 10 suggested another task: I should improvise a baking show in the kitchen, sharing the recipe of one of my favourite cakes. I have small confidence in my ability to speak correct English spontaneously, so this task quickly became a big challenge for me. Improvising in English is hard for me and I felt very confused. I then decided to try this baking scene once more, this time in French. My diction and my pace were quite better; even if 9 and 10 could not understand everything I said, they confirmed that I seemed to enjoy more my task and therefore I was more eye-catching and interesting. Now I need to trust my English a bit more and to allow myself to make mistakes. My colleagues suggested that if I have any big doubts, I am allowed to use French words: moreover, it may give some originality and good spirit in my talk.

9 and 10 also worked on their monologues about unrequited love:

10 danced with music, surrounded by what looked like male clothes; put some on; she finally threw them with anger on the floor and store some others in a backpack. She then came into the audience and without any words, chose a man from the public. She brought him on stage and took his other hand. A recording of a male’s voice rose while she kept staring at the man. She started dancing again, and finally let go his hand with a disenchanted expression. She took the backpack, gave it roughly to him and begged the spectator to go with a simple wave.

9 did her monologue while running on a treadmill. She pressed the buttons relevantly at different parts of her speech to change the velocity of the treadmill: she got more tired and less trustworthy along with the difficulty of the exercise, until she got exhausted.

Moreover, small texts appeared on a screen behind her as she read her monologue, a sort of conscience objecting her allegations and proclaiming the unwanted truth. Still she didn’t notice the board until the very end, when she finally saw the last word.

 See you next week!

Blanche