#every time she yelled at me&told me i was depressing&i ruined everything w my horrible attitude.

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

[impala1967dwinchester]

Baby Fever: Part 5

*Credit to gif owner* 

Word Count: 2.1k 

Warnings: self-doubt, depression, Sam, Sam being there for Y/n, a bit of angst and of course some fluff. 

Pov: Y/n’s 

Masterlist (Masterlist for series) 

2 months it’s taken Y/n to come up with a decision. She starts to retreat into her room. She worries that because she’s taken so long, Sam might not want to be with her anymore. Might not want to try. 

Recap: 

“I know that this is early and that you’re still hurting, but I want to be with you. I want this to work for you. We can go slow, we can go fast. Anything you are comfortable with I just want to be in your corner Y/n.” Sam said” 

Sam's words bounce in my head like ping-pong every day. I can’t figure out what I want. I sat for a month going back and forth. Going through the pros and cons of every situation.  

The good things that could come from this relationship would be endless. Sam being there and supporting of me. Sam being there for me no matter what is going on. Everything would be prefect, of course we’d have our fights and arguments.  

There was of course the cons list of this, this list be short but there were still things that could go wrong. I could end up breaking your heart, Sam could end up breaking my heart. I could bring all my past relationship issues into our relationships. I could damage you even more then you already are. I could break everything we have.  

Y/n stop!  

Make up your mind.  

So instead of stopping I laid held up in my room. Laid in my bed for a few days and then would venture out grab a cup of coffee and eat some food. As I made my way around the bunker, I sat down in the library. Thinking about it know it probably wasn’t the best idea.  

Because no later than ten minutes after I sat down Sam came walking into the library. He had a book under his arm, a cup of coffee in hand. When he finally pulled his chair up, he looked up straight at me.  

“Hey, Y/n.” Sam said sitting down at the table directly in front of me. It took me a minute to respond. Being so scared to answer him. “Hi, Sam.” I said taking a long sip of my coffee.  

“So, get this, I think I’ve found a hunt. Dean says it a go. I haven’t seen you in a few days figured you might have a cold. But now that I see you’re good. Right, you’re good? I was wondering if you had your stuff packed and ready for a hunt?” Sam asked.  

In a very rushed way. I stared at him and then shook my head. Got up and left him alone in the library. “Y/N!” I could barely hear his voice as I ran towards my room slamming my door.  

Falling atop my bed a let a small shiver run down my spine. I could barely hear the heavy footsteps of boots echo in the hall. A soft knock was the next sound I heard, and then the door clicking and Sam's voice.  

“Y/n what’s wrong?” He asked worry was starting to seep into his voice.

My face muffled by the sheets, pillow, and of course the bed. It was silent for a moment and then I felt the bed shift. The weight of Sam sitting on my bed brought my head up from the bed. I shifted and moved to lay on my back instead. Sam wasn't up in space; he was actually just sitting at the end of my bed where my feet lay.  

“Y/n... I know that things can be hard, but talking can make a few things better. So, what I am offering you is someone to talk too.” he said his hands laying palm down on his knees. I took a deep breathe in and then release it. Sam continued to talk. “I know that I asked you a while ago about being together.” Sam said looking up at me, and then back down at his feet. Trying to find the words to say to me I’d like to think.  

“Like I said we can take everything so slow, or we can go fast. I just want to make sure you’re comfortable with everything we do together.” Sam said shifting so more of his body was on my bed. I shifted up giving him more room to operate with.  

Theres that word again “Comfortable”. Comfortable with what? Comfortable with being with you Sam? Of course, I’m comfortable with you, I just don’t want to be the one that ruins everything that we could possibly have together. There’s another word I hate “Together” But you know what’s funny I only hate it when I say not it, but you Sam.  

“Y/n, you've got to breathe for me.” Sam's voice said bring me back to reality. I guess I was thinking a little too hard because I was having a hard time breathe and it felt like... it felt like... “Y/n can you breathe slower for me, you’re having a panic attack.” Sam says.  

I took a deep breathe in and a shallow breathe out. God, I feel so drained. “Y/n. I know that you aren’t okay. And that’s okay. I know that I gave you a huge burden to give me an answer, but you don’t have to. You’ll never have to answer to me, Y/n. That’s not how a relationship works, when you’re comfortable we can work things out. Do you understand me, Y/n?” Sam said, holding me a little bit closer in his arms, brushing my hair down and rubbing tiny circles into my back.  

“Okay, Sam. Can you grab my bag it’s in the chair over there, Let’s go for that hunt?” I asked. Sam hugged me tighter, and eventually had to let me go. “We can go for this hunt. That’s fine Y/n.” Sam said grabbing my go bag and taking the time to shut my bedroom door.  

I waited for the sound of heavy boots to leave the hall way. I got up and got dressed in jeans and boots with my stolen flannels from Sam and Dean. I grabbed my phone and my headphones. I walked out and shut my bedroom door.  

I rode the entire way in the back seat of baby with my headphones plugged in and playing my music. Once in a blue moon I’d see Dean, or Sam look over the mirror and look into the back seat. I stayed at the motel room and did research as the two Winchester boys went out to interview people. They’d come back and ask me what I found. I told Sam and Dean and then went back to being quiet.  

The night before we went out to kill this monster. The boys thought that I was out, but I really wasn’t. I could hear them talking, they were talking about me.  

Dean said “Is it just me, or is there something wrong with Y/n?” Then Sam answered, “Well... I guess I should tell you, but I asked her to be with me. And that was a month ago. Honestly I think she’s having a hard time making a choice.” Sam said.  

I heard the shuffle of papers and Dean's chair make a horrible sound on the floor. “I’m sorry what!” He yelled. “Be quiet Y/n’s asleep. And yes, I asked her to be together with me. Now before we left for this hunt, she had a panic attack. I think a lot of things are going on with Y/n. Don’t be a jerk and say anything to her tomorrow okay Dean.” Sam said in a hushed tone.  

“Fine” I heard Dean say before I saw his shadow pass by the window and he walked into the bathroom.  

When we finally killed the monster, I was still quiet. Sam pulled me to the side and asked me if I was hurt. I just shook my head and slipped away from his grasp and got into the back seat. “I think you outta wait this one out Sammy.” I heard Dean say before I put my headphones in.  

I just saw Sam roll his eyes and walk away from his older brother. We rode to the motel in silence, the only thing the two brothers could here was my music. I pretty much stayed that quiet as we packed out things and Dean went to give our keys back to the pretty blonde desk lady.  

Sam caught my arm as I went to leave the room. My bag slipping from my grasp. I pulled my headphones off and let Sam say whatever he was going to say to me. “Y/n please say something. I don’t like the quiet you and to be honest neither does Dean. What’s going on in that pretty mind of yours?” Sam asked me. I shrugged my shoulders and I left Sam's grasp grabbing my bag and walking away from him.  

I passed Dean on my way to the impala. He gave me a small smile, and I shrugged my shoulders to him as well. I was in no mood for anything. This lasted for another month before I was able to get out of my head.  

One day I just woke up and everything seemed better, I won’t say that it was prefect but it wasn’t worse. I made coffee that morning pulling three mugs for all of us. Making a huge breakfast. One by one Dean was the first to make his way into the kitchen I bet by the smell of coffee and bacon.  

“Your coffee is sitting at your normal spot; I’ll bring your plate over with me.” I said as I saw Dean walked in. I gave Dean his plate, and sat down in front of him. “What’s been going on with you lately?” Dean asked stuffing his face with pancakes and bacon. That was odd that he asked me that but I followed along.  

“I guess I’d have to start from the beginning, but that’s a long story. So, I tell you the short one. Yeah.” I said to Dean. He just shook his head and took a sip of his coffee. “So, I like Sam, and Sam likes me, but my past relationship end miserably and usually are my fault. So, when Sam asked me to be with him, I felt like I was going to ruin everything. I stayed quiet and was alone for so long, because I was trying to weight it all out in my brain. I want to be with Sam. I know that now, I just didn’t and don’t want to ruin what we already have now.” I said, catching my breathe and taking a sip of my coffee.  

Dean smiled, and looked over my shoulder. There was Sam smiling much brighter than Dean. “I’m guessing you heard everything I just said?” I asked. Sam came walking to the room and looked over at Dean. Dean got up and took his plate with him. “Thanks for the bacon, Y/n!” He yelled as he walked away. Sam down in front of me “Yeah I heard you. You know I don’t think that this will end miserable. I don’t you have anything to worry about. I don’t think you’ll ruin this” Sam said pointing at the two of us.  

“And I’m glad you want to be together with me, because I want to be with you more then you could ever know. Now come over here and let me kiss my girlfriend, right?” Sam said shyly. I got up and rushed over to the other side of the table and was carefully with jumping into Sam's lap. Our lips met with such a great force, but it wasn’t one that was strong and over-powered by the need to have each other. It was a kiss that was forced by true love and admiration for the other person.  

This was something that was going to be prefect. I really can’t wait for this to get even better. “Do you want breakfast? I made your vegan bacon and an omelet for you, Sam?” I asked him. He shook his head and I got off his lap, as I walked away, he lightly slapped my ass.  

I just giggled and grabbed his plate, along with coffee. “There you go baby.” I said laying his plate in front of him and sitting across from him. “DEAN? Do you want more bacon?” I yelled. Not even a second later Dean was in the kitchen with his plate in hand and vigorously shaking his head for more bacon.  

Sam talked as I loaded Dean’s plate up with more bacon than any average person would ever eat. “What do you say we move little by little your stuff into my room, or we can do it the other way?” Sam said. I gave Dean his plate back and he kiss my cheek and said “Thank you” in to my ear.  

I sat back down and thought about it. There was no longer need to doubt everything that was going on. Sam was safe with me, and I was safe with Sam. “I kind of like your bed a lot more then my own. So, we can move my things into you...... our room!” I said a smile plastered on my face.

Completed on: 04/06/2021