#every time she came on screen i was on the edge of my seat

[zerothisnero]

Imma be honest with yall

I'd let her full heartedly beat me to death

[ellastone-olsen]

hihihihi idk if youre accepting requests or not but if you are:

can you please do stripper!wanda x innocent!reader where reader's friend drags her to a nearby strip club to blow off steam. and reader is really innocent and is just sitting in the chair, slightly confused while watching the dancers do their thing on the pole. and reader is unknowingly eyeing one certain stripper (wanda) and wanda notices and comes over to reader. and reader's friend is teasing reader and telling wanda to give reader a lap dance when she comes over. and then wanda brings reader to like one of the private rooms in the back and like reader is realy inexperienced and awkward and tense. and then wandas there to like talk reader through it and reader's like REALLLY shy. okay woah thats a lot thank youuuuu take your time 💝

The art of eye contact - Wanda Maximoff

★Pairing: stripper!Wanda Maximoff x innocent!f!reader

Summary: your friend drags you to a strip club, what could happen there to such an innocent little thing like you?

★Warnings: little NSFW 18+, lap dance, grinding, pet names, a little fluff (sorry I can’t without fluff)

★Word count: 1.5k

★AN: hi anon! In general, my requests are closed, but I found this very interesting, so here we are. there was nothing about 18+ in the request and I decided to remove this part (well, almost). hope you’ll like it

The loud music and shining lights of the club were blinding as you sat shyly in your seat and looked somewhere at the floor. There was a can of soda on the table nearby. The people around are mostly men, but your eye notices some women who also came to watch the show. And only one question: what the hell are you doing here?

“Come on Y/N let’s go, I’ve been there more than once, maybe you’ll like it.” This is exactly what you heard from your friend half an hour ago, when you were sitting in her apartment and just playing online games. You came to her in a terrible mood because of a failed college exam and sought solace in this meeting. In the last couple of weeks, your nerves were on edge and all you need now was to let off steam after a series of failures. “Fucking shit, can’t you see they’re shooting at you!?” You told her angrily as she turned away from the laptop screen without following the game. You definitely needed another way to relax.

Despite your 21, you had never been to this kind of establishment and of all your friends, you were the most innocent person, not knowing what relationships and sex are. "Come on, let's go, don't be so boring." She insisted, "If you don't like it, then I give you permission to hit me." You took off your headphones and sighed. If you think so, then you were curious to visit the strip club. "okay." After that, within 10 minutes you were riding in a taxi to an address unknown to you.

Returning to the present time, you tried not to stare too much at all these people dancing at the poles, the clothes on them were becoming less and less every minute and your cheeks were flushed red. Your friend hit you with her elbow, signaling for you to look (she paid for the entrance and doesn’t want her money to disappear into the floor in which you are ready to make a hole with your gaze). You look up again and look at each dancer in turn until you reach her. To your right is dancing a woman with long red hair, which is pulled back into a messy bun with a shiny clip. Her top was already off, revealing a red fabric bra that did not hide the softness of her breasts. She was still wearing a long skirt that cut out to her hips, so you could see her legs, which seemed to be moving closer to you. Stop why is she coming to you.

While you watched as if under hypnosis, the stranger was already in front of you and grabbed the soda from your hand and put it on the table to put her hands on either side of you on the armrests. Her back arched and she made a small wave, so that her breasts were a few centimeters from your face, it seemed like you were ready to explode from what was happening. Her head tilted, her lips reached your ear so she could shout to you over the noise of the music, “I’m Wanda, nice to meet you.” In your opinion, people usually don’t get to know each other by sticking their almost bare breasts under the noses of strangers, but remember where you were and toss all the questions. In any case, all you did was nod and again direct your gaze somewhere to the side. It seemed that you had turned into a bundle of nerves and embarrassment.

Wanda took this as a sign that she needed to look for another client for the night, but your friend, who had been watching all this time from the side, took the redhead somewhere to the side and seemed to give her a bill and instructions on what to do.

"Where have you been?" You asked the girl as she approached with a sly grin, noticing how red you were. Why the hell did she bring you here and leave you to your fate? “I have another little gift for you that you’ve been eyeing so eagerly.” Was she teasing you? Defined. “What are you talking about, what kind of gift am I thinking enough for today.” Then your friend stepped aside and showed Wanda standing behind her. The girl leaned over so only you could hear, “I paid, so have fun.” You didn’t immediately understand what exactly she paid for, but Wanda’s sweet smile brought the idea to your brain and your eyes widened.

The redhead gently took your hand in hers and you obeyed (only out of curiosity) and followed her into the private rooms. When the red matte door closed and it became much quieter, you sat on the sofa with your hands on your knees and asked a question. “What exactly she told to do?” One of your knees is bouncing from the fact that you are shaking your leg trying not to be nervous. Your friend has already explained to the redhead what an innocent little thing you are, so the woman decided to first ask permission for some actions.

"She ordered a lap dance, but you're such a sweet girl that I was willing to do it for free just for you." She came up to you again and leaned in, so close that her breath was on your neck and you could smell the scent of her cherry perfume. “Can I sit on your lap honey?” Her soft sexy whisper drove you crazy and you squeaked in agreement. Immediately you felt the weight of her body on you, how her long legs in stockings wrapped around you and your core began to pulsate just from this. "What should I do? I…I never…” Wanda’s hips rocked and her core pressed against your stomach. “Oh I know baby, I can see it right away.” She giggled. “I’m sitting right on top of you, can you tell me your name?” Your head fell back and your hair fell into face, you really didn’t want to seem like what you were, namely the inexperienced mess right under her. “My name is Y/N.” Your hands grabbed the upholstery of the sofa, you didn’t know how to touch her, or whether it was possible at all.

Wanda's hands dropped to yours and placed them on her hips. “That’s it Y/N, you can touch me if you want.” Your head turned towards her and you finally looked into her big green eyes. It was so beautiful that no part of her body interested you as much as this. “Your eyes are so…lovely.” The woman seemed confused at these words. Her clients told her a lot, in particular something about her breasts or ass, but never before had anyone given her a compliment with such trepidation. “Oh, what a cute little thing you are Y/N.” She stood up on your knees, her hands reached for the clasp of her skirt, which she was still wearing, but you stopped her. “No, don't. I mean, you're so beautiful, you don't need to take your clothes off to prove it."

This was the third time you had confused her that night. Of course, your inexperience spoke to you, but you also didn’t want to do something so blatant with her, at least not right now. Although perhaps there was one thing that you wanted to get. “I...can you kiss me? That is, if you don’t want to or it’s forbidden, I don’t insist, but...” Her soft, full lips fell on yours without allowing you to finish, it seems that at these words the woman’s heart sank painfully. Her dark lipstick mixed with your cherry gloss and with every movement of your lips, your hands gripped her soft thighs tighter. “Wanda...” You wanted to ask, but she wasn’t done with you. When there was not enough air, she pulled away and turned her head away. “Sorry, it was not according to regulations.” You didn't understand why she was apologizing.

“No, no, everything is fine, at least... it sounds so stupid but... maybe you would like to get to know each other better and go on a date, for example?” You realized how naive it sounded, asking the girl from the strip club you had just met on a date. Surely everyone who was with her in this room made her such an offer.

Instead of words, the woman got up from you and you thought that the time that your friend had paid for was over, but after a few seconds she handed you a piece of paper with numbers. “Here, this is my number, text me in the morning if you don’t change your mind.” You took the small piece of paper from her hands and carefully placed it under your phone case.

For a minute you were in an awkward ringing silence. “Can I kiss you again?” You asked shyly. Even then, Wanda couldn’t refuse you.

When you left the private room and said goodbye, your friend immediately met you with questions about how everything went. You told her, not knowing that in this evening Wanda did not bring anyone else into the room where you were together.

[lady-ashfade]

Mates By Fate

Various Hybrid!Characters x Human!Fem!Reader.

Plot: The adoption center is filled with many different hybrids from all sorts. But when one gets a whiff of your scent that they can’t help but get excited to see you.

Characters: Rabbit!Izuku midoriya, Wolf!Katsuki Bakugo, Dog!Eijiro Kirishima, Cat!Shoto Todoroki

Warnings: quick adoption, licking, love at first sight, mention of dark past, not much.

Rabbit! Izuku Midoriya

The building was filled with all types of noises, from barks to meows, even some growls. Some hybrids were out playing and doing their own things, some playing in groups outside or maybe they enjoyed their own company. Izuku was watching a movie that had come on just in time for his break. All hybrids get a break from the others to focus on themselves if needed, and he decided to watch his favorite movie. Super Hybrid: All might. Oh, how he adored the movie and the man it was about. His room filled with decorations of Allmight himself, posters on every wall.

He couldn’t keep his eyes off the screen when the scene came on. Allmight fighting a bad guy, his tail smacking him around from place to place. It was like watching it for the first time, he was on the edge of his seat cheering at the screen for his hero. Not much could get his attention away from this movie, so when a scent came into his nose it peaked his interest. What was that smell? So sweet, soft yet bold, how could something smell so perfect? His flappy ears stood up and his attention drew to the hallway where his door was cracked open. Grabbing the remote be paused the movie and walked to the door.

He poked his head out slowly to see what was going on and if he could find the source of the smell. Then he saw the owner of the adoption center in the middle of the hallway, then a woman standing next to her about three doors down. A hybrid with droopy ears likes his but brown, the hybrid rubbed her head against the new woman’s hand as she smiled. When he saw you, he felt the world crash onto him with a kick to the chest.

Mate.

The words rang through his head and made his body tense up at the thought of having you in his life. But, he couldn’t have a mate? And not someone as pretty as you? He cheeks heated up while staring at you with wide eyes frozen in the doorway to his room. He could hear your conversation but didn’t truly listen, the words sounding like muffles to him. But a few seconds later your head turned when the owner said something and you looked right at him.

He yelps and slips back into his room quickly from being caught and your attention. His heart raced as fast as it could go as he panicked over every detail. Did you really see him? Was he imagining you here? What if this was a dream and he’d wake up mateless again? What if you don’t want him as a mate anyway? So many questions ran through his speedy head and made him panic.

“Izuku,” the old woman’s sweet voice called him out of his thoughts as she walked into the open room. “We have a visitor, like to meet them?” Your frame shuffled into the room and waved softly, the smile on your lips look like heaven. All he could do is stare and mumble nervously with words you couldn’t understand.

“He’s shy, but he’s a good hybrid to have around.” You nodded and reached into your pocket and his attention calmed down at the other scent he loved. Treats. A brown little heart shaped treat rest in your hands and pushed it towards him. “Hello, Izuku. My names Y/n.” The name engraved itself into his brain. The excitement finally washed over him and shot throughout his body, making him so happy that his leg started to tap and take the treat into his mouth.

He was so happy as he chew and you watched his nose crinkle with each bite, his happy feet bouncing. You giggled at the sight, he was your favorite by far. “I’ll let you have some time with him, seeing as he’s your perfect match. I shall be just outside with the other hybrids, call if you need anything.” She bowed and walked out the room.

You look at izuku and a nervous smile spread your face as he inched closer, no threatening gestures but with a curious look. His noses sniffed around your hand and up your wrists, he looked so focused. Then he nudged his faces across it like he was petting himself and your heart exploded. He looked so happy and relaxed with your touch.

“Mate.” He muttered and you froze up. Did he say that or was it a mistake…Mate? That’s interesting but you can’t help but feel like it was right. “Tell me, do you want me to take you home?” He jumped up and hugged your leg and you almost fell. Laughing you reach down to pet this hair.

He was interesting, he couldn’t get himself off of you. But he was perfectly sweet.

Wolf! Katsuki Bakugo

Katsuki is wasn’t one for social interaction, especially with new people he had just meet. Whenever someone came to look at the hybrids he wouldn’t let them get near and just walk off or give them attitude. He was adopted once before and it was the worst time of his life, humans were cruel and he knew damn well they couldn’t put up with him. So he put off the idea that he would find someone nice enough.

Kats didn’t get along with the other hybrids, only a selected group he allowed near him. If he wasn’t hanging around them then he was outside in the shade, or playing with a chew toy that need to be replaced each day. He loved to be outside a few hours because he had a lot of energy he couldn’t release inside. Today he decided to take a break and lay on the ground to take a quick nap, the shade and sun making him tired. Then, his nose picked up a scent. Shooting his head up from his resting place his head looked around for the scent he was smelling.

This wasn’t food, it wasn’t like anything he’s ever smelled before. It was the perfect smell for him. He craved to get near the source. So he stood up and looked around, his tail wagging behind him. Big and thick with blonde and white with brown tips like his ears. “Shit.” He smelled it out and followed trail. A beautiful laugh caught his ears and he looked up to see a woman smiling with the owner, a hybrid getting their head pat. Her. It was coming from her.

Mate. Claim. Mate.

She was his mate, his tail wagged harder but his head gave him trouble. He didn’t need a mate, and not a shitty human at that. What was she trying to do? He’s a alpha and not some pet she could keep in her house- But he wanted it. To be close to her at every second to keep he safe and sound. He groaned and fell close to the ground and behind the flowers, the garden being filled with big places with high planted flowers. It was easy for him to crawl closer without being caught, after all it was in his blood to hunt.

He got closer and watched for a second. “I’ll leave you to look around, I know of a few hybrids out here. A snake one, he’s usually in the trees and many others.” She smiles and took the cat hybrid inside, leaving you alone. Smiling to yourself and straighten your blouses then walk over to the flowers, smelling them. Bakugo wiggled his body and got ready to pounce on you, why? He just felt like it. But when you giggled and looked over at his direction he froze in shock and confusion.

“There’s a mirror wall behind you,” you look a seat on the bench beside you. “But don’t be discouraged, you would of had me.” The lighthearted tone in your voice made him heat up, and your smile with no anger in it. He rolled his eyes and stood up, inching closer to you with a glare, a low growl leaving his lips to imitate you with fear. You only smiled and pulled out a big threat, a bone shaped one.

“I apologize if I offended you, it was not my intention.” Standing up slowly you tossed the treat softly before him.  “But I hope you’ll take this treat as a apology, great wolf.” His ego built up at your praise and felt better. He took the treat and took a few bites. While he was focused on the treat you backed up to leave him alone, not wanted to anger him. Wolfs can be very territorial when it comes to it, so you wouldn’t egg him in. 

“I didn’t say go, damn human.” His tough voice caught you off guard. You turned around to see him soften his glare and look at the bench you once sat at. “Sit.” You smirked for a second and walked back to the bench and did as he said. He was adorable. You stuck out your hand for him to sniff and he hesitated, looking up at you like asking permission or to get a read on you. But you only flashed him a eye closing smile.

His noses poked your hand and sniffed all around to take in your scent in, and his body turned into mush. Your scent, he craved it. “Damn, of course it be a human.” He huffed and crossed his arms. You looked at him confused, “Hmm?” Kats rolled his eyes hard and pointed at you, “Mate.” He enjoyed how you looked at him in shock and flustered.

“Now, go get the paper work done so I can leave. I wouldn’t let anyone leave with you today wether you like it or not.” His tail stomped the ground as his teeth really showed to threaten the people he thought of. “Well? Go!” You giggled and rushed away from the shouting hybrid, a rough one.

He was demanding and didn’t care. He however, was loving on the way to your house so you didn’t mind.

Shoto Todoroki

Shoto is a hybrid that likes to take naps, his cat like nature is strong. The sunlight can make him fall asleep anywhere, no matter the place. He also loves to climb up on things to take a nice nap, mostly on a cat like tree they have for hybrids. He also has a scratching problem but not in a bad way, he just needs to stretch often. Those are the things he does in a day. Wake up, scratch, eat, Nap, scratch and then repeat. However he does hang out with some hybrids on occasion.

Today Shotos place of choice was in front of the art rooms door, so close to getting hit if someone opened the door fully. The hybrid didn’t notice this when he went to sleep or he would have scooted a bit further. You wanted to explore the place and decide to check the art room to see what’s it was like. When you opened the door you didn’t see the hybrid behind you, only a tail that curled and swung slowly. Stopping and not pushing the door any further you walked through the gap and poke your head around to see the hybrid laying there.

His hair mix toned, red and white. His tail thin but long, white fur all the way down. But his ears matched the hair on each side, he was gorgeous. You smile and push all the way in the room and close the door as quietly as you can, trying not to startle him. Kneeling down a few inches from him you start to call out softly for him to walk up. Clinking your tongue, “Little buddy, wake up please.” You repeated that line over and over. But he wasn’t little, only a small frame but you could see the muscles he had and how tall he was.

He slowly opened his eyes with a yawn, confused on what was going on. When he noticed you his demeanor changed slight. His face dropping and staring you, with almost a cold glare. Chuckling to not be afraid you step back, “Sorry, I just didn’t want you to get hurt. You were sleeping in front of the door.” You glanced at the door and showed him what you meant. But he didn’t stop staring at you with a unreadable expression.

Shoto was freaking out inside. Your scent drove him insane, one he wanted to run and nuzzle up to. He couldn’t look away from your pretty face or he would have. What was this? Had you have some sort of magic to bewitched him? Why was his body on fire? He had so many emotions and non of them made sense. Until his mouth started to water..

Mate.

The clicking sound echoed through his brain when he realized what you were to him. A mate. Fate was funny about bringing people together and he didn’t have to find you, you found him. “Hello?” You waved a hand in front of your face as he continued to be silent and frozen. He blinked finally and you felt relieved. “Call me shoto.” You hummed at the calming tone. “Y/n.” You reached out your hand with a smile. Of course he couldn’t hold himself back from taking it and sniffing you.

Your scent was so nice to smell, calming but made his blood pump. You had weird affects on his body. You watch him sniff you and it made you laugh as he kept hitting his nose against the center. He was booping his own nose. Then he did something unexpected and licked your hand softly. To give affection he kept doing it, small licks. Nothing more to the eyes. Only he did it to get his scent on you.

“Adopt me.” He look up at you blankly and you were taken aback by his boldness. “We just met, don’t you want to get a know me first?” You asked. Most hybrids take a week at least before getting comfortable with a owner, or at least a whole day. “I know all I need, you are my mate of course.” He nuzzled against your hand as his tail swayed around smoothly.

“Mates?” You questioned but couldn’t help but rub his cheek, he purred so loudly you could feel it. “Hmm, smell you. Us hybrids have mates, or some do and mine is you.” He shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal. “Now, I’m tired. Could you go get everything done so I can’t go back to napping?”

You took shoto home that night and he fell asleep on your nap. Followed you around the house with his head in your shoulders.

Eijiro Kirishima

Kiri likes to be with other hybrids and people, a social butterfly if you will. He always has a smile on his face to cheer and play with the others, the big brother of the estate. His dream is to one day have a forever home with a family that loves him but worries about being worthy. Despite always tell the others they’d get adopted or cheer them up, he felt the same way. But he puts it off and has fun instead, he’s very active. They had to build a new playground area just for him and hybrids like him who are rough but playful.

Kiri today was in the playroom all by himself and it saddens him, no one to play with. He’d have the rope in his mouth and swing it around almost like a weapon. Or jumping around from the bars to places, or his favorite. Catch. They had a device to throw the ball automatically and he loved it, almost as much as someone actually throwing him the ball. Kiri watched the ball get shot out and hit the table making it change direction to the door. To his surprise the door opened just as the ball rolled on the floor and stop between someone’s leg. His mind focused on the ball he chased after it.

His legs ran to catch the small object and only to be caught in another trance caused by a smell, a delicious smell. Stopping in his tracks he froze and looked up at the person at the door who now looked at the ball between her feet. A smile spread on her lips when she bent down to pick it up. The smell was coming from her. Was it a treat in her pocket? What flavor was it? That smell was heaven to his nose, like it was made just for him.

Mate.

Giggling you looked at the pup in front of you, a grip on the ball “Want me to throw it?” You wiggled it slightly. Thump thump. The sound of his huge fluffy tail hit the floor as he panted quietly. He was so excited. “Get it.” You threw it past him and made sure not to hit anything but far for him to have fun. He leaped up and chased after it, so fast and quick. It was cute to watch him bite the ball and chew down on it slightly then look back at you. He pranced back to you with his tail wagging, a pride filled aura as he puffed out his chest.

He dropped the ball at your feet and sat back on the floor, his tongue sticking out. “Awe, such a good boy.” You reached down to pet his head but gave him enough time to pull away if he’d like. But he didn’t so your hand patted the red hair, slightly touching the ears on his head. “My names Y/n.” Without a warning he jumps up and knocks you down, leaning onto of you and starts to lick across your face. His hands on your chest and tail making a breeze.

You laughed and tried to move but he didn’t let up on his actions. You smelled too good. You called him a good boy. A perfect mate for him. He leaned up and didn’t let his hands up from your stomach. “Eijiro Kirishima.” His smile was so wide you saw his teeth that looked perfectly white and sharp. Taking a breath you smile up at the hybrid you just met. “Nice to met you.” He jumped off you and waited for you to get up.

When you did you brushed off yourself and whipped your face off. Kiri stood up finally and you looked up at him, he was one of the biggest hybrids you have ever seen. Blushing at his height you giggled, he was just a huge puppy. “Are you here to adopt?” He asked, his ears and tail stopping and going down. You could tell he was sad and you wondered why.

“Yes, I am.” You see him look at the floor and a sad smile grew on his face. “They’d be luck to have you.” The heart in your chest shattered at his tone, so quick to dismiss himself. “Would you be willing to get adopted? I was looking for a dog hybrid…If you’re willing.” Kiri’s head shit up and his body started to wage and bounce. The sparkle in his eyes reappeared and his happiness coming back.

The next thing you know his arms are wrapping themselves around you and pulling you closer, his tongue licking your cheek. You patted his head, “I’ll take that as a yes.” You didn’t expect to meet the hybrid of your dreams on the first day of looking but here he was. “Mate, going home with my mate.” His words made you tense up. Mate? Does he think you’re his mate… Why doesn’t that not sound wrong?

“Okay, let’s go so I can go to the office.” He whined and hugged you closer. His head rested on your shoulder and he refused to let you go, he had a person for the first time. Too soon to let go. “You can come with him, but I need to walk.” He felt your chest vibrate with laughter and he huffed. His arms let your waist go but hooked on your arm instead.

You didn’t expect him to be so clingy and protective over you but that’s what he was. You’re now his home. But there’s no other pup for you.

[totalswag]

Hello lovely I love ur writing abt Drew & Reader actresse sweetheart it's so good <3 I have a little request to make to you if you don't mind, Drew react to the Reader acting in the horror film masterpiece (like the movies Suspiria and Climax vibes) of which she's a part of the main cast

I'm just curious if he would be terrified or blown away by this kind of role that she plays like this one or not ;) thank u !!!

unbelievable performance — DREW STARKEY

authors note aw thank you lovie! that means so much to me. by the time you are reading this, my second fic with drew x actress!reader is out (the first date). i have never seen either movies that you listed in your request but i did look them up to get a gist.

summary drew was impressed by your performance in your latest horror film.

warnings mentions of kissing, horror films

masterlist

Tonight marks the premiere of your new horror film, in which you star with some amazing actors. After many hours of continuous filming, sequences are officially wrapped. You're extremely proud of yourself and your casemates. 

You were the staring lead in the movie. Getting the part after auditioning was a blessing in disguise. This being your very first staring lead role in any movie you’ve been in, you were so proud of yourself.

Everyone is seated in the theater. Drew, your boyfriend, also came with you. The entire cast stood in front of the stage as your director discussed the film a bit.

You shifted your focus to Drew, who was already looking at you in admiration, which made you smile and making you blush.

When you stepped up to your seat, he leaned down to your ear and whispered, "I want you to know that I'm so proud of you, and I know you did an amazing job on this movie," before kissing the top of your head.

“I love you baby, so much” you answer with your voice already starting to crack before tears wanted to burst out.

“Me more.”

Drew was so excited to watch his beautiful girlfriend on the big screen. Non-stop talking about the movie with you and his predictions on what will happen.

Everyone in the theater began to applaud as soon as the lights went out. Drew's hand moved easily down your thigh and gave it a little squeeze. Your skin began to tingle from his touch.

The movie begins with a hauntingly beautiful dance routine in which the camera swirls around the dancers in a way that is both captivating and unnerving. Drew is instantly captivated. As the story progresses, he observes your character navigating a world fraught with psychological pain and supernatural fear.

Half way through the movie, it’s been jaw dropping and incredible.

He is always on the edge of his seat in every situation you are in. You capture the dread and lunacy of the film's twisted narrative with an unvarnished and honest performance.

He's afraid and enthralled with the story at the same time, amazed at your ability to portray such raw emotion. Never once did he take his eyes off the screen.

The way the movie came out was unbelievable. The editors did wonders on this movie and made it into something viewers will want to keep watching.

Once you two arrived home after eating dinner at the after party, Drew and you took a shower together in your shared bathroom, changed into pajamas, then went into bed with the tv playing.

Later that night, back at home, Drew can't stop talking about the movie.

"You know, watching you in that role allowed me to see a completely other side of you. You were fierce, vulnerable, and incredibly compelling. "It was like watching an acting masterclass."

You laugh quietly and rest your head on his shoulder. "It means a lot hearing you say that. I was concerned about how you would react."

"Are you kidding?" I loved it. "I'm just glad I wasn't watching it alone in the dark," he jokes.

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[hobiebrownismygod]

Let's talk about Desi representation again!!

I don't talk about this stuff often but when I do, I have some strong ass opinions

and yes I'm gonna be talking about none other than Pavitr Prabhakar at the end cuz he's just special to me &lt;3

Hollywood is lagging behind on Desi representation

You'd think one of the biggest film industries in the world would be able to represent us properly, considering the fact that we make up the largest group of South-Asian Americans and the second largest group of Asian-Americans in the US, but instead-

Western Television forces Indians to conform to harmful stereotypes

Some of the most popular Desi characters on screen are Raj Koothrappali from the Big Bang Theory, Devi Vishwakumar from Never Have I Ever and Kelly Kapoor from the Office.

Indian men are almost always portrayed as robotics engineers and computer whizzes, but with terrible social intellect, making them seem like awkward nerds.

Indian women are almost always portrayed as "whitewashed", or wanting to appear more western, with zero understanding of their own culture or language along with an unrelenting need for attention from white friends/colleagues.

These are both based on stereotypes that Indian culture is "toxic" and "too traditional" and that Indians are only interested in studies.

Most Desi characters in western media have stories that are solely based around their ethnicity and/or racial stereotypes.

British television actually showcases a lot more representation than Hollywood does

I was watching Polite Society, a movie starring two Pakistani characters as the main leads, and there was a dance scene where both the leads are wearing traditional desi attire. My mom turned over, looked at me, and asked, "Is this Hollywood? It can't be."

And she was right. It's a British movie with British-Pakistani actors.

The reason she didn't believe that it could've been Hollywood was because the dresses the two leads were wearing were traditional and beautiful and the song playing in the background was authentic Hindi music, not some random westernized DJ version of it.

A Hollywood movie would've never dressed up their Desi actors in actually flattering attire (*cough cough the Patel twins from Harry Potter) or have used real, popular Desi music in the background.

You see my point?

It is so uncommon to see well-thought-out Desi representation in TV nowadays, where to see real diversity we have to watch movies made by the same country that colonized us.

Ironic.

British movies/shows with desi leads have far better South Asian representation than anything I've seen in Hollywood recently.

The Hollywood movies starring Indian leads, like Slumdog Millionaire or Bend it like Beckham were filmed in the UK, and because they were filmed in the UK, they had fantastic South Asian representation.

Not only does Hollywood refuse to create shows and movies about real problems that South Asians face, but they also don't cast South Asian actors in good roles.

When's the last time you saw a South Asian actor playing a character that wasn't a walking stereotype? When's the last time you saw a South Asian actor playing a character that was a genuine part of the story rather than just comedic relief or a random smart kid in the classroom?

Not often, right?

Me, personally, I didn't grow up with a lot of South Asian characters or actors in shows/movies that I watched. In fact, every time someone even close to my skin color showed up on TV, I was on the edge of my seat because it was just so rare to see it.

This is why representation matters.

You've heard about all the young girls with braids being so excited when the new little mermaid with Halle Bailey came out. Well, us desi kids wanted that too.

I wanted to see a Telugu speaking girl with wavy hair and dark skin who would wear traditional clothing to Desi get-togethers and parties, go to the temple with her family, eat vegetarian Indian meals, etc...

I wanted to see a character who was a representation of me and my experiences as an Indian-American. I wanted to see a character that was at least a representation of Indians or just South Asians in general.

Instead, we were given characters that ridiculed their own culture, were extreme stereotypes and furthered the existence of casual racism in western society today. So many Desi kids experience small acts of racism on a daily basis because people have been so desensitized to the existence of these stereotypes.

Telling South Asians that their culture is a joke and feeding non-asian children media which pokes fun at other cultures is harmful, not only to us South Asians but also communities that could end up being targeted next.

Pavitr Prabhakar; Representation Matters

If you've been following me or if we're mutuals, you probably know I have a tiny obsession with Pavitr Prabhakar. But why?

Because of all the reasons I just listed.

There are few South Asian characters us Desis can look up to these days, and Pavitr Prabhakar is one of the maybe two or three characters who have great writing, magnificent representation, and overall a fun vibe.

He's likable, funny, smart and best of all, unapologetically Desi.

He's just like all the other side characters, with a little bit of his own culture mixed in. He's not being shoved down our throats to further an agenda about fake diversity, he's not a walking stereotype and best of all, he was designed by Indian creators.

He's refreshing and exciting to follow in a world full of a demand for half-hearted representations and the people who created him were obviously putting their hearts and souls into it.

He's awoken a love for Indian culture amongst, not only Desi children themselves but also among westerners who, prior to this, had thought of India as a "3rd world" country, because that's the agenda that Hollywood pushes onto many South Asian countries today.

WE LOVE PAVITR PRABHAKAR!!

This was kinda all over the place but I just had to get this off my chest &lt;3

Sources:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2021/06/10/discrimination-against-indian-americans-happens-more-than-you-might-think/

[winchester-girl67]

Wild Hearts (Part 2)

Summary: Dean steals his father's car to give Y/N a ride home. The next day Y/N tags along to the dunes for sand surfing. 

Masterlist

Pairing: AU!Dean x reader 

Word Count: 3,771 

Warnings: underage, age gap (reader is 16, Dean is 20 but closer to 21), mentions of physical abuse by a parent, past injury (bruising/scars), mentions of death and alcoholism, John is an asshole in this one, underage drinking, angst, language, slow burn, mutual pining, a hint of jealousy, a bit of fluff 

A/N: Sand surfing looks really fun. Didn’t think I’d get this finished before the new year. Happy holidays! 

_____ 

Dean grabbed your hand every time the headlights of a car came into view and pulled you off more to the side of the road. Placing himself between you so the car would have to go through him to hit you. The last time he did it you held onto his hand and he didn't let go. Until you came up to a driveway that led to a small ranch style house sitting amongst the evergreens. 

You spotted a cherry-condition, black muscle car sitting in the driveway, "No way! Is this your car?" 

"Uh- yeah," he smiled, "-I mean, no. It's my dad's but yeah that's what we're taking." He stumbled out his words as if he was nervous. 

You trailed your finger up the hood of the car, "Sixty-seven?" 

"You know your cars." He smirked. 

"My dad used to drag me to every car show he could when I was younger. On those days he did get off work." You said, admiring the freshly waxed black paint. "And as a result, I developed a thing for pre-seventies muscle." 

"Baby's the only thing my father has ever loved." Dean said and you frowned, "Aside from my mother. She passed away when Sammy was born."

"Baby?"

"It's what he calls the car." 

You nodded. "Who's Sammy?" 

"My little brother," he explained with an edge of protectiveness, "He's sixteen, too." He bit the split in his lip until it bled and kicked the front tire with a glare. "He's probably passed out by now," and somehow you knew he was talking about his father again, "But you better wait out here." He said, pushing you off to the side of the house so you blended with the shadows of the trees lining it. "Y/N, if you hear anything... Do not come inside." 

Then he turned around and headed for the door, leaving you with a sinking feeling in your gut. The way he spoke about his father, loving four wheels and engine more than his sons. Dean looked pained at the thought and his eyes greener when they glided over his father's Impala. 

Then it hit you, his warning. His father wasn't a good man. 

You left the shadowed tree line and peered through one of Baby’s windows. Fast food bags littered the front bench seat and a half a bottle of liquor lay on the floor. Your skin started to crawl at the thought of Dean's father coming home half-pissed and taking his day out on his sons. No doubt Dean only stuck around for his little brother. You wondered if Sam had endured the same type of injuries or if Dean always stood between them. Somehow you already knew the answer. 

The screen door shut with an audible creak and Dean reappeared on the porch, "Y/N?" He whisper shouted as he scanned the area you were supposed to wait. "Y/N." 

"Over here," you matched his tone. 

"Got 'em." He jingled the keys for you to see. "Let's push her out onto the street before we start her though." He opened the driver's door, "Here, you steer, I'll push." 

"You're not gonna get in trouble, are you?" You hesitated, you didn't think you could bear to see more bruises on him, or worse. 

He gave you a cocky smile, "I'm not gonna get caught." 

You slid in behind the wheel and shifted into neutral, taking a moment to appreciate Baby's beauty despite the mess of trash in the front seat. Meanwhile Dean ran around to the bumper and started pushing the car down the driveway. You braked when you got to the edge of the street, throwing open the door and letting Dean take over as you slid over to the passenger side. 

The car grinded to a stop as he pulled up in front of your house. It was a beautiful car but the whole ride felt like a tin can rolling over bumps in the road and the muffler rattled against the undercarriage the entire time. His father didn’t seem like the type to put his time or money into anything that couldn’t give back to him. Which apparently included keeping up maintenance on Baby. 

"For someone who's supposed to love this car," you flicked a used ketchup packet onto the floor and wiped your sticky fingers on your jeans, "He's shit at taking care of it." 

"Imagine if he didn't love her." Dean's eyes were lost on the dashboard, deep in some solitary thought. "He didn't deserve her and he doesn't deserve this car." For a moment you thought he must've been talking about his mother. You wondered if the abuse started before or after her passing. You didn't ask. "Are you busy tomorrow?" 

"Um."

"It's fine if you didn't mean it. About being my friend. But I was gonna go sand surfing and I thought that might be something you'd like to do. Something friends do." He shrugged. "I-I'm not trying to be creepy. Just friends." 

"I don't think you're creepy," you shook your head and met his sad smile, "I'd love to go, sand surfing? What is that?" 

He laughed, "It's like snowboarding but down a sand dune. It's easy, I'll teach you. Fall's the best time for it because the sand won't burn you." 

"That sounds fun." 

"Good, I'll pick you up," he said and then added, "My friend's driving. There'll be others there too, but they're not like your brother's friends." 

"I don't like my brother's friends." 

"These are good people," he smiled, the bruised part of his face hidden in the shadows of the car and you almost forgot about it. He had a nice smile, he didn't show too many teeth or too much gums. "I'll give you my number, in case you decide to cancel." 

You laughed silently but let him enter his phone number into your cell. Then you texted him so he'd have yours, too. 

"Thanks for the ride, Dean." You reached over and gave him a quick side hug. He didn't even have a chance to react but stared at the dash again and nodded when you pulled away. "Text me when you get home or I'll worry." 

"You don't have to worry about me, Y/N, I'm not a child." He said cordially. 

He'd obviously picked up on you putting the pieces of his home life together, his injuries, his father, how much he was risking by stealing Baby tonight. Dean was tall and built enough to protect himself, but nobody should stand alone and clearly his father was still bigger and stronger. 

"People worry about you in every stage of life, Dean. At least they should. I will." He looked over at you and matched your frown. 

"But you only just met me." 

His words echoed in your ears well after you showered and crawled into bed. Dean brought about so many feelings in you that you didn't know which to follow. You felt butterflies, and mutual affection like you'd known each other longer than you did, and an untethered desire to protect him, which was absurd because although he was skinny, he could toss you over his shoulder and spin you around if he wanted to. His bruises and scars made you feel helpless, but his smile made you happy because you could tell he felt lighter, too. 

You checked your phone and found a message from him. 

Dean: Mission impossible accomplished. See you tomorrow. 

Y/N: Thanks for texting. Goodnight, Dean. 

Dean: Night, Y/N. 

You'd be lying if you said you weren't developing a crush. You sighed and rolled over in bed. What could you do, nothing. He'd get into a lot more trouble than you. 

Sleep did not come easy after that and you woke up before you thought you'd even fallen asleep. You groaned and rolled over in bed when you heard your phone buzz. 

Dean: Good morning, Y/N. 

Y/N: Geez, you wake up early. What time is it? 

Dean: You're literally looking at your phone. 

Y/N: Omg! It's 6am, what is wrong with you?! 

Dean: You know the saying, early bird... 

Y/N: The sun isn't even awake yet, Dean. 

Dean: You're grumpy in the morning. 

Dean: Just wanted to let you know we'll pick you up around noon. 

Dean: Y/N? You still wanna come, right? 

Y/N: Yeah! Sorry, I'm tired. 

Dean: Awesome. Just one question before you pass out on me. Benny's bringing a grill, so we're making hotdogs for lunch. You're not a vegetarian are you? 

Y/N: Yeah...

Y/N: I'm joking. No, I'm not. 

Dean: Good, our friendship might've ended right there. 

Dean: Just kidding. Go back to sleep. 

You smiled at your phone a little too long before you locked it and went back to sleep for a few hours. 

"Hey, sweetie. You're awake early." Your mother said when you walked into the kitchen around ten. It was early compared to your typical Sunday morning. "Have fun last night?" 

You nodded, not wanting to get into the events of your brother or his friends from the bonfire. Your mom seemed to accept the answer and you assumed your brother made it home at some point without her noticing the hour. 

You got along with your parents well enough. You never really got into any trouble and you weren’t sure they even knew how to ground you if you did. Besides, your dad wasn’t around much lately, it seemed his new promotion kept him at the office longer than necessary. Which was where he was now. On a Sunday, at ten A.M. 

You didn't know what you wanted to do when you grew up, but you knew you wanted to have balance in your life. Something you thought your dad didn't understand. You couldn't remember the last time he brought you to a car show, you couldn't remember the last time you'd asked him to bring you either. 

"Your dad said he'd be home for dinner and your brother probably won't be up until mid-afternoon. What time did you two get in last night?" She asked, sipping on her coffee. 

You didn't have a curfew because you never had the need for one and your parents oddly trusted you. You didn't do crazy shit to make them worry about you but sometimes you wanted to, if only just for the attention. So you knew she was just curious when she asked. 

"I dunno," you shrugged, not wanting to get into why you didn't know and that you didn't come home with your brother. "I'm going out with some friends for lunch." 

"That sounds fun," you weren't sure if she was even listening anymore or just saying that. 

Your family had gotten better at not actually listening to each other lately. But you ignored that fact yourself and grabbed a bowl of cereal for breakfast. 

At eleven-thirty, you threw on a pair of high-rise jeans and an oversized t-shirt that you knotted at the waist. You also pulled on a flannel shirt in case it got chilly which was the way the weather was turning lately. Then you texted Dean. 

Y/N: Text when you get here, I'll come out and meet you. 

You wanted to avoid an awkward interaction with your mother. Especially since your brother was awake now and slamming the kitchen cupboards. He wouldn't really care but he was nosey and would start something if he saw how much older Dean was. And you doubted a few hours would've helped much with the bruising on his face. That wouldn't be fair to make Dean explain how he'd got them to complete strangers. Especially since you were pretty sure you knew how he'd gotten them. 

Dean: We're here. 

You shouted a 'Bye' as you ran out of the house, hearing your brother ask your mom where you were headed before the door slammed shut behind you. You shoved your phone into your back pocket and ran down the driveway to where a red Jeep waited. Dean stood outside, leaning against the door. 

He smiled when he saw you run up, "Hey." 

"Hi." You said, noticing his face falling, "What's wrong?" 

"I feel like we're sneaking around," he glanced back at your house as if he expected someone to come running out after you. "Feels wrong." 

"I just didn't want you to have to deal with the inevitable questions about, you know," you pointed to the left side of his face. "But if you want I can introduce you before we go... Or you could come over Friday for family dinner and give that a little more time to heal." 

He stared at you for half a second then shoved his hands in his pockets, "Family dinner sounds nice." 

"Great, I'll set it up tonight!" You smiled brightly and touched his arm, "Feel better?" 

He swallowed and nodded and you heard someone shout impatiently from inside the Jeep. Dean opened the backdoor for you and climbed in after you. You sat in the middle next to a guy with black hair and blue eyes who looked about the same age as Dean. 

"Hey, I'm Cas." The guy greeted you as you settled in. 

As soon as the door was closed the Jeep pulled out onto the road with a bounce from a pothole the tire hit. 

A small brunette in the middle front seat turned around and waved, "I'm Ruby, Sam's girlfriend," she pointed to a lanky guy with long brown hair next to her who offered you a smile. 

They looked about the same age as you, at least you knew Sam was. You noticed right away Sam didn't have any bruises or obvious scars. You felt a bit proud of Dean for that and also a little sorry that he didn't have someone like himself to have his back. 

"That's Benny," Dean said, pointing to the guy driving. "Benny say ‘Hi’."

"Hi." He glanced in the rearview mirror. 

"He's quiet until you get to know him." Dean explained. 

Benny, by far, looked the oldest of the bunch. Maybe it was because he hadn't shaved in a couple of days or maybe it was because he was built like a linebacker. But either way he didn't seem to like you. It was just a vibe you got in the split second your eyes connected. It practically radiated off him and you wondered if you were the only one picking up on it. 

"So, Y/N, how come I never see you at school?" Ruby asked, spinning around in her seat to face you completely and bumping into Benny who growled. Maybe it wasn't just you. "You're not home schooled are you?" 

"No, I go to one near my dad's work." You explained quickly, not really wanting to talk about school. 

"Where does your dad work?" Sam asked this time. 

“At Sandover Bridge and Iron. He’s the Director of Sales and Marketing.” You bounced your eyebrows. Really all that means is he’s barely around anymore. 

"That's cool," he said, shifting his eyes to Dean for a second. 

"Oh," Ruby’s brown eyes widened for a second and you knew what she was thinking. 

"Yeah."

"Am I missing something?" Dean asked, glancing between the two of you. 

"It’s a private school." You explained and it seemed to dawn on him. "What are you smirking at?" 

"You have to wear a uniform, don't you?" He smiled so wide the split in his lip threatened to pull again. 

"If you must know, yes, and it is the bane of my existence." You rolled your eyes dramatically to make your point. 

"So, like a plaid skirt with those long socks?" 

"Careful, Dean. We're friends, remember?" You whispered to him and he opened his mouth to respond, but then snapped it shut and turned to stare out the window. 

Ruby pouted, resting her chin on the back of the seat, "That's too bad. You could've sat with us at lunch and I would've shown you around. Dean says you're new." 

"Yeah," you sighed. That would've been nice to know someone in school. You had begged your parents to let you go to a public school this time, but they insisted. "Too bad." 

Dean had gotten really quiet and you nudged him with your elbow. He turned to smile and swallow thickly before turning a cold-shoulder and staring out the window again. You had only been teasing, but you didn't want him getting any ideas that would only result in him getting in trouble. 

"How do you guys know Dean?" You asked, directing the question at Cas since Benny didn't seem to be much of a talker. 

"We grew up together. Well, me and Dean did." Cas explained, "Benny just kind of showed up one day and we couldn't get rid of him." Benny growled and Cas winked in the rearview mirror. "He really is a teddy bear once you get to know him." 

Once you got to the beach Benny didn't park in the parking lot, instead he drove out onto the beach and down the shore for a long time until you were surrounded by only dunes of sand. It would've taken forever to walk there. He parked at the top of the dunes and everyone filtered out of the Jeep. The guys grabbed the boards from the trunk and Benny got to setting up his grill. You guessed he wasn't really into sand surfing. 

Dean said he was going to teach how to surf, but he was already halfway down the dune with Cas when you looked. And Sam and Ruby were flirting as they carried their boards over to join them and you didn't feel like third wheeling it today, so you hung back with Benny. 

"Need a hand?" Your voice was softer than you'd like it to be but you found him intimidating, even if he wasn't nearly as tall as Dean or Sam who was a moose at sixteen and probably still growing.

"Thought you came for that," he pointed at the dune where the others had run off to and you saw a couple extra boards stuck in the sand at the top. But you still didn't know how to surf, never even been snowboarding. And those surfboards looked a lot more like snowboards. You'd hurt yourself for sure without knowing how to turn or stop. "I hope you know what you're doing with him." 

Your eyes snapped back to Benny's and you squinted, "Excuse me." 

He raised his hands and his eyebrows, "His home life is... undesirable. I know you know what I mean. Last thing he needs is your parents on top of his own." 

You didn't think your parents would bat an eye at Dean. Mainly because they were wrapped up in their own lives and didn’t pay you much attention. But if they did notice, you wondered if they would dislike Dean enough to turn what you have with him into something wrong and indecent. You'd like to think they wouldn't because it wasn't. But it's a parent's job to be protective of their child.

"We're just friends." 

"Not the way he looks at you." Benny cocked his head and started setting up the foldable stand for the grill. "He's not thinking when he's around you. And don't get me wrong, I like seeing him happy, he's been there for me more times than I can count, but- Do you have any idea what his father would've done if he knew Dean took that car out last night. If that's the way he looks after spilling paint in the garage..." You didn't know what to say and opened your mouth like a fish out of water before he continued. "Dean's never done anything like that before. I'm just asking you to be careful with him. He has two years left and then he and Sam can get the hell out of there." 

"Why two years?" That's all you could manage to ask. 

"Dean's tried to get custody of Sam since he turned eighteen but the lawyers always tell him the same thing. He's too young himself, with no steady income and no decent living quarters. Going through courts takes time and money and Sam would likely age out before that time." He explained as you fiddled with the knot in your t-shirt. 

"How'd you know about the car?" 

"I live next door, I helped him push it back up the driveway so his father wouldn't wake up and hear the engine." 

"I'm sorry, I didn't know. I mean, I kind of knew but I guess I believed him when he said it would be fine." You watched your shoes and tried to still your bottom lip. "Just so you know, I'm not trying to cause him any more pain. We just kind of connected last night and I like him. I'm not gonna do anything that'll get him in trouble though. I promise." 

"Kid, I'm not worried about you doing the dumb shit. I'm worried about him." He scratched his slight beard. "It's not fair to ask you to think for the both of you." 

"It's not fair to ask me to not be his friend either." 

"I couldn't ask that of you." 

You kind of missed quiet Benny and the afternoon was starting to feel a lot like last night with your brother's friends. You wiped a tear threatening to fall down your cheek when you were sure Benny wasn't looking; everyone else taking a second run down the dune after climbing back up. You stood around and kicked at the sand until you could feel grains in your shoe. 

"Hey, cher, can you grab me the hotdogs from the cooler?" Benny asked and nodded towards the cooler next to the Jeep. 

You didn't bother digging around and just brought him the whole cooler. He split open the pack of hotdogs and started grilling. Then pulled a can of beer from the cooler and opened it. He handed it to you and grabbed his own. You wondered if you actually had to drink it, but he clearly saw that you were upset and it was a peace offering of sorts. So you took a sip. 

The fifth sip wasn't so bad and the seventh went down even easier. But it still tasted gross and you still didn't see the point. Maybe just a little warmth in your cheeks. 

Sam and Ruby were the first to run back over when Benny rang the dinner bell. Followed by Cas and Dean. Dean eyed the beer can in your hand and you took another sip before you grabbed a hotdog and walked away.

_________________________

Part 3

_________________________ Dean: @akshi8278 @laycblack @thoughts-and-funnies @mrsjenniferwinchester @crustycheeks @kazsrm67 @sexyvixen7 @lyarr24 @suckitands33  @eliwinchester99 @yvonneeeee @igotmajordaddyissues @djs8891 @leigh70 @globetrotter28 @backseat-of-deans-67chevy

SPN: @hobby27

Wild Hearts: @justrealizedimmascifygurl @evieluvsjamie @kimberkingrivers

[companion-of-the-night]

❝You Don't Have to Carry All of This Alone, Babe.❞

Pairing: Wrench x Female!Reader

Warnings: Wrench comforting the reader who is stressed, lots of kissing and a makeout session which, some suggestive computer innuendos, overall fluff.

﹂Author's Note: This is my first time writing for Wrench, so there will probably be a few out of character moments and I may have missed a few things about him, and I feel I could've added a few of the emotes from his mask, but I am happy with how this came out, considering it took 3 hours with no plan. But I hope my readers enjoy it!

Please comment any warnings if I did not state.

...

To say that she was angry would be an understatement. She was thoroughly pissed off. Brows furrowed forward, inwards towards her nose while her fingers worked quickly across the keyboard of her computer, lines of code opened to her, but not allowing her to go forwards into hacking what she was attempting to break into through the security of the firewall.

She had been asked by Marcus to attempt to hack into the system of a local hacking group that had somehow gotten way too close to DedSec, not into it, luckily. However, the crease in her forehead was displaying how her anger was like a full cup, only needing one more drop to over flow and cause a spill, which was where she was, seated by her work station and brewing dangerously close to the edge each time she inputted a piece of code only for it to reject it and display the red lined words that told her that it wasn’t working.

“Keep it together, (Y/N).” She whispered to herself, rubbing her hands over her face and cupping her hands over her nose and mouth as her tired eyes attempted to scan the many lines of code, looking for any mistakes or errors she could have imputed to result in the code not working, “We can do this, we’re the amazing (Y/N) that’s going to kick the ass of another hacker.”

Unfortunately, that wasn’t happening.

“You fucking piece of tech trash!” She yelled as she aggressively stood up and leaned on the desk with both of her hands, staring a hole into the computer that she was so ready to throw against the wall. Her yelling attracted the concerned faces of the others that were at the headquarters, while, at least the ones that were closest to her, “You know, there’s fucking computers in junk yards and here I am, stuck with you!”

Frustrated with herself and her code, she started pacing around the small area, attempting to stretch her fingers while also tugging them through her hair, mumbling to herself, mumbles that were inaudible to the others that sat by the couch, funny enough, Wrench and Marcus were nowhere to be seen, the both of them had opted to go pick up some drinks for the headquarters.

Things around headquarters had been making everything and everyone highly tensed ever since they found evidence of someone trying to hack into their system, how they got in, no one knew, but it was causing some of the members to reveal their more aggressive sides, so attempting to calm everyone down and simply enjoy the evening without fights, Wrench and Marcus went out to get some more energisers for everyone.

“(Y/N), maybe you should just calm down a little. Take a break, you’ve been looking at words and numbers since the time you woke up.” Sitara said over the couch that she had been occupying, "Which I believe was around four o'clock this morning."

“Take a break? For every minute—no second—that I take a fucking break, there’s some asshole behind a screen getting closer and closer to taking information that isn’t theirs and exposing us, as if being a heap of trash wasn't enough.” (Y/N) explains, her voice laced in irritation and exasperation, her index fingers pointing back to herself as she spoke, her eyes were starting to burn, tears hidden behind the mask she was trying to hold up, her breathing uneven and her figure shaking slightly.

Sitara and Josh could see that it had been taking a toll on her, and the one thing she was trying to hide was the fact that she thought it was running on her back, like a heavy burden. Sitara got up from her spot and walked close to the girl who was on the verge of a rage attack, she had even placed her jacket on halfway, the other half simply not on her arm and hanging off her back, a tattoo of Wrench's mask paining her shoulder blade, Sitara placed her hand on (Y/N)’s clothed shoulder, squeezing gently to reassure her.

“Just breathe. We’ll figure this out. Once the other two boys come back, we can all take a break, cool off, and then restart.” She told her, though her words were doing nothing to console her, and (Y/N)'s state only continued to get worse when the tears started pooling by her eyes, shrugging Sitara’s hand off of her shoulder as she retreated back to her workstation, her gaze fixed to the screen, her frown still imprinted on her face and her jacket swaying with her steps.

The clanking of glass bottles reached their ears when the door was opened to the awaiting two entering.

“We come bearing gifts.” Marcus said as he and Wrench placed the two bags on the table, Marcus was quick to get everything out of the bag while (Y/N) still had not acknowledged their presence, her gaze still fixed to the screen harbouring the cause of her frustration. Her jacket still hanging off of her shoulder, allowing the tattoo on the back of her shoulder to be out in the open, her fingers still twitching against the table, creating a ticking-like sound, something her mask-wearing boyfriend caught sign of.

Before he could move towards her, Sitara had caught his arm, “Listen, I don’t care what you do, but get her to take a break now before these headquarters get burnt down. Literally.” She told him, watching the emotes change on his mask from the default ‘X’s’ to the winking emotes ‘~  ^’.

“Don’t worry, I'll make sure she gets some energy into her system.” He told Sitara, giggling as he stepped close to his lover, wrapping his arms softly around her middle section and looking over her shoulder to see the computer screen filled with code, “What has you so worked up, my little pumpkin?” He cooed in her ear.

(Y/N) huffed an irritable sigh as she leaned back into Wrench’s embrace, placing her hands on top of his, ignoring the chatter going on in the background between the others. But before she would say anything, she had turned around quickly, grabbing Wrench by the front of his shirt and pulling him along to one of the rooms she had been occupying.

“I’m bloody frustrated and fucking horny, and you are going to fix it!” She told him as she dragged him to her room, Wrench holding his hands up in a surrender motion, yet his mask showed ‘^ ^’ emotes, as he happily let her drag him by the front of his shirt, because who was he to complain to a good time.

The rest of the group simply stared in confusion at the exchange that just took place.

“O-kay? I’m going to guess that she’s still worked up on the hacker problem?” Marcus asked as he had emptied the last bag watching Sitara sigh and Josh lean back in his chair, meanwhile Ray had been completely oblivious to the whole episode that had taken place.

“She does know that not everything is riding on her, right?” Josh asked as Sitara nodded to Marcus’s question.

“She’s been like that even before joining DedSec, taking on other peoples problems when she knows that help is available.” Sitara spoke, she had been friends with her since they were younger, so understanding her mannerisms was never a problem for her.

Meanwhile behind the closed door, lips were clashing in a fiery lock of passion. (Y/N) had situated herself on Wrench’s lap, her legs straddling him while her hands still grasped the front of his shirt, pulling him closer as if she was trying to mesh their bodies together, Wrench’s mask had been placed on the nightstand next to the bed that the two were seated on. His hands holding her hips down, gently brushing against the stiff boner in his jeans, their moans filling the room with each kiss becoming more passionate.

Although, the elephant in the room had still been on his mind, so he gently lifted his hand to gently grasp her wrist that had been leaving crinkles in his shirt from her tight grip, gently pulling her hand off, making her stop the lip lock and gaze into his blue eyes, the same eyes that had enchanted and hypnotized her the first time she met him, the same blue eyes that she found herself drowning in each time they were cuddling without his mask on, the same eyes she fell in love with the first time he had taken his mask off in front of her.

“Babe, as much as I would love for you to link in on my zip drive, I think there’s something bothering you.” He told her, watching as her expression fell and she relaxed a little bit, one hand still clutching his shirt.

“I’m fine, Wrench.” She told him, lying through her teeth and knowing that he could see through her like an open book.

“Babe,” He called, the sweet pet name still making her melt as the first day he called her it, “I think you’re trying to tell yourself that rather than me.” His expression was soft, he’d wait until she felt comfortable to tell him, and he could see how her eyes were slowly turning glassy, she tried blinking away the tears that were threatening to overflow from her eyes before her hands were reaching up to angrily wipe them away.

“I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, Wrench.” She told him, the tears breaking like a dam with a cracked wall, “That fucking code, it keeps on telling me that there’s an error and I don’t know why, when I checked, the code I inputted was clean and organised, and the stupid thing-” A sob escaped her mouth halfway through her explanation, making Wrench wrap his arms around her, holding her tightly as she sobbed into his chest. He knew that this problem was causing a toll on her, he could see it by the dark bags under her eyes and how tired she had been at the end of every episode where she got upset about it.

“You don’t have to do this by yourself, you know that, right?” He asked her as her cries died down a bit, “Everyone is working on stopping this, you don’t have to carry this alone.” He told her, pulling away to look at her face, eyes bloodshot and horrible attempts of her trying to hide her snot-filled nose. 

Wrench gently placed both of his hands on the sides of her face, pulling her to look at him, he smiled softly, placing a small kiss on her forehead. He knew how she had tried to carry the world on her shoulders and ever since she had joined DedSec, he noticed her determination to keep the ones around her safe, he had witnessed it first hand when she had gone with him and Sitara to the store to get something and when some asshole pulled up with a knife, she had been quick to make herself the centre of attention before knuckle punching the bastard until his face was a bloody mess. For her, she had only escaped with a punch to the face, which he tried to help her clean up back at headquarters but ended up getting help from Ray regardless.

Even the time when she had confessed that she had feelings for him, he remembers being a mess that night. He had been working, well more like using a sledgehammer, to retrieve a chip out from the toaster and she had walked up to him, starting a light conversation with him as he told her about his technology and other tech terms, which she found amusement in. She stood close to him but still gave him his personal space, but she had been lost in her head and when he had cussed out about how the sledgehammer wouldn't help, she had admitted that she would work if he smashed her with a sledgehammer. Upon realizing her mistake, she had covered her face with her hands, hiding the deep blush that had appeared there.

But he had to be an oblivious romantic because he simply replied with, “I’m sure that would be painful.”

However, when he relayed the conversation to Marcus, he had to hold his tongue not to laugh at his masked friend. Only when Marcus had explained that she had been keeping feelings for him, did Wrench finally realize her actions, why she had always stood close to him, why she smiled at each of his tech sex jokes, and why she looked at him with a certain fondness.

And he will forever remember how she reacted the first time he showed his face to her, she didn’t grimace at the red birthmark by his eye, or scowl or berate him. He had been nervous to show her but he wanted her to know that he trusted her, however when he had reached to grab his mask, she was quick to grab it before him, placing it behind her on the small table.

That night she expressed to him how handsome he was, that the birthmark didn’t define him or make her see him any differently. Even as he cried in her arms that night from how they made love to each other, how afterwards she had placed soft kisses against all the parts of his face and down his chest and back up to under his chin by his throat. That night changed a lot of things for him, that night had allowed them both to see each other deeply and bath in the love that so strongly connected the both of them.

“I can’t let them break into our system, Wrench.” (Y/N) admitted to him, breaking him out of his memory moment. Holding her tighter to him as she placed her head into the crook of his neck.

“That won’t happen. You’ve got me, Marcus, Sitara and the other’s also working on the problem, they're not going to get one inch into our tight security.” He tells her reassuringly, “But the one thing you have to keep in mind is that you can’t do a five-person job by yourself.”

(Y/N) sighs into his neck, her warm breath sending a tickling sensation down his spine.

“Still, I feel so useless.” She says to him, it’s obvious that the problem is still weighing her down, causing a malfunction in her mind, so Wrench being Wrench decides that there is only one thing that he could do to cheer her up.

“Hey, why don’t I show you something cool?” He asks her, his hands on her waist allowing him to pull away to let her face see him again, “I know something that might cheer you up.” He tells her as he begins to get up, pulling her with him and grabbing his mask, placing it back on his face and clipping it. He gently takes her hand and leads her out of her room, passing the others on the way out and leading her to his station, where he usually smashes stuff.

She stands awkwardly next to his table, wiping the remnants of the remaining tears on her face as she watches Wrench bring some tech parts and dump them onto the table in a pile.

“Uh… Wrench, what are we doing?” She asks, curious to know what his plan was but also appreciating that he was trying to cheer her up. 

Wrench picked up the sledgehammer that was placed near his workstation and walked to her, getting on his knees and presenting her with the hammer which she found odd but knew that this was his goofy side coming out.

“Your weapon, my lady.” He said, changing his voice in a poor attempt of sounding, like a loyal knight giving his princess his sword, which had a small laugh come from her.

“But isn’t that your baby?” She asked him as she tried holding it up, expecting it to be heavy, which prompted the hammer to fall to the ground while she kept her hands by the hilt. Wrench got up from the floor and led her in front of the pile of unused tech pieces. She held the hammer hilt in front of her, but the bottom part of the hammer would prove a challenge.

“Not this little thing. Wrench Junior is our baby, and right now, his momma needs to release some tension, and a good smash usually helps with that.” Wrench explained, his innuendos making her giggle but also making her swoon at the fact that he said 'our' when addressing Wrench Junior, although this did make some of the other members groan at the way he phrased it.

“I don’t think I can even pick this up, Wrench.” (Y/N) tells him as she attempts to but only gets halfway with picking it up before it hits the ground, allowing Wrench to wrap his hands around hers around the hammer hilt.

“Here. Let me show you.” He tells her as he helps her to bring the hammer up until it’s behind their shoulders, close to Wrench’s head until it slightly rests on his shoulder. “Okay, don’t think, babe. Just bring it down, alright?” He tells her, she nods to show that she has heard him, his hand’s warmth leaves hers as he attempts to support the hammer near his shoulder. And with a long, hard swing, the hammer hits down hard on the tech pieces, making a loud bang reverberate from it, pieces smashed into smaller pieces, bringing out a smile to her face.

“That… Was so fucking good!” She sighed out, although a small moan slipped in there too.

“Can I do that again?” She asked her boyfriend, smiling at him, although she was ready to have a relieved laugh. Wrench nodded to her, the emotes on his mask forming ‘<3 <3’ from the love-struck expression he had on his face.

He helped her bring the hammer up again, standing behind her, but this time once he released her hands, he placed his onto her hips, rubbing small circular motions, allowing his eyes to gaze upon the tattoo of his mask on her shoulder that didn't have the jacket draped over it.

Oh, how he loved the tattoo when she pulled him aside because she had something to show him. When she revealed it to him, he was sure that his cables short-circuited and he just went into freeze mode, because she had to call his name a few times before he acknowledged her, what she didn't expect was how hard the tattoo would influence him, every chance he got after that he would be tugging down her jacket or shirt to catch a glimpse of it. Wrench swears that it was the hottest make-out session he ever had, and he wouldn't regret it for anything.

The hammer came down again, smashing more pieces into smaller ones, and again and again. After the fifth time of her doing it, (Y/N) found herself feeling a lot better and huffing a held in breath.

Wrench’s emotes stayed on his mask, “That was insanely hot, babe.” He voiced as he sat in the nearby chair, “We should do it more often.”

“And maybe one day it will be me instead of the hammer?” (Y/N) asked, sending him a wink and a roll of her butt, placing the hammer down onto the table. The smashed tech pieces could be cleaned another day.

As she turned around, she felt his lips on hers, his hands gripping her forearms as he formed a lip lock with her once again, his tongue exploring her mouth from her gasp of surprise when she had turned around and he was in front of her, she didn’t notice how his mask was held in his hand, but his hood at least blinded the others from seeing him as he gently pushed her down onto his table until her back met the hard material.

“Okay, okay, love birds. Do that in your own bedroom.” Ray shouted as they had turned their heads and to at least pretend like they didn't see them.

(Y/N) was able to break the kiss, staring into his blue eyes before he placed the mask back on. “You heard him, Wrench. Let's continue this in a more private setting.” She giggled as she grabbed his arm and pulled him around again, the same way she had done previously.

Once they were back in the room, (Y/N) didn't hesitate to hug him hard. Repeating the words ‘thank you’ over and over. Wrench placed his hands around her, his chin resting on her head as his hands drew small circles on her back, the two stayed in that embrace for a short while before breaking apart, Wrench taking his mask off and placing it onto the night stand, cupping her cheeks and pressing kisses to her lips.

"I... Fucking... Love... You.” He told her through kisses, his hands moving down her sides and latching onto her hips, “Fuck! You don’t realize how hot that was.” He told her as his head moved to her neck, placing kisses up near her jugular before sucking on the juncture between her neck and shoulder, bringing a small moan out of her.

Pulling his head away, he picked her up under her thighs, her arms coming up to wrap around his neck, not for fear of falling but because she knew that he loved it when she clung to him in moments like this. He walked with her in that position until he reached the bed and gently placed her down, hovering above her while her hands still stayed behind his neck, her hands playing with the shaved blonde hairs behind his neck, she smiled as she looked at his dopey expression, pulling his head down until his lips touched hers, his elbows situated on either side of her head.

“So, I’m guessing your soft drive is now a hard drive?” She asked, attempting to make it sound sexual but realizing how cringy it sounded after she had said it, but it brought a laugh out of her blond boyfriend.

“So hard, babe.” He replied, his breathing getting short and laboured.

“Then, let this be a thank you present, from me to you.” (Y/N) told him as her hand drifted lower, touching his stomach from under his shirt and loving how his muscles flexed when her hands touched him.

“Only you know how to get me like this.” He told her as her hand continued on its path, “So, let me show you how much you mean to me.” He said as he leaned up to remove his jacket and shirt, “Now I’m going to show you what my sledgehammer can do.”

That night had ended with the other DedSec members going out to a nearby restaurant as soon as the door closed to avoid the intimate moment of the two dorks that they associated themselves with, but for said two dorks, that night ended in passionate love making and a proper display of what a sledgehammer could be used for.

...

©ASHER RITSUKO/Companion-of-The-Night ─── I do not give permission to having my works plagiarised, copied, modified or translated onto any other platforms, including Tumblr. On Tumblr, my works are allowed to be reblogged, along with credit back to me. My works belong to me unless stated otherwise.

©Ubisoft | Creator(s) of Watch Dogs 2. (Correct me if I'm wrong, but please do it in an appropriate and kind manner.)

[somejazzinthemorning]

tightrope. 08.

Pairing: Carlos Sainz x Original Female Character Warning: Mature content. Word Count: ~16K Previous chapter: 07.

The light shone brightly through the large windows and it only took me seconds to feel the effects of a sleepless night. Minutes after getting out of bed, I wished I could crawl back and sink into the softness of my comforter and the scent of my lavender-sprinkled pillow.

Last night offered me no rest.

With each sip of coffee, memories of an eventful night came back to me in blurs. I could make out the unpolished lines on a man's face, whose filter had been diluted by whiskey and beer. He spoke without much thought for what he was saying, yet his words rang perfectly in my mind, echoing off the walls I had built up to guard myself against him and stinging me like a needle, striking deep within my soul.

I had no excuse to keep stepping back and forth.

It was time to step into his page. If he still wanted me to.

That feeling in my stomach, not the butterflies I would often associate with him, but the fear and regret, a guilt that shouldn’t have a place inside, far more bitter than the coffee I was sipping, left me shaken and a gentle peal of laughter rippled through my gut as if my consciousness was laughing at me.

My arms and legs were tingling, craving for movement to disperse all that energy and nerves I was storing up inside, but I had to console myself with a deep breath and the refreshing sensation of the cold pool water I was dipping my legs into, but it was late and I had a team call in a few minutes. I stayed on the edge of the pool for a while, gaze travelling between the horizon and the tiny waves my legs provoked on the water's surface when they moved and my attention all over the place, drifting back and forth to the memories of last night.

Before heading upstairs, I tried again. I took a deep breath, letting the air fill every corner of my lungs and hoping that when I released it, Carlos’ face, highlighted by the faint light, and the memory of his hoarse voice whispering my name, would be freed with it.

But they weren’t.

During my shower, my walk downstairs and even when I was logging in to the laptop to get my call started, it was still only him on my mind. His face, his plea, my name.

Eva.

Eva.

I leaned back in my chair and stared at my reflection on the screen. No one had logged into the call. My eyes drifted to one of the walls of the office and then to another, stopping on the shelf again.

The helmets, the books and photographs, the personification of a dream worth chasing.

I missed the thirteen-year-old girl I once was, whose only dream was racing and who was capable of doing everything to not abandon the track—back then, the first step was getting a seat in Formula BWM and racing Carlos again.

She never got it in time to race with him.

One morning we raced each other without knowing it would be the last. One morning, for the last time, we ran to the van, heavy backpacks on our shoulders and huge grins on our lips. One morning, for the last time, we got to lunch and proudly announced who had made the best time.

One morning was the last and maybe, with a bit of effort, I could find a date somewhere in my mind to pair it with, but I didn’t need to. Didn’t want to.

Even though we never raced for a real purpose and the winner never won anything but pride, we always gave it our all. The thrill of the competition and the passion for the sport strengthened the bond that the occasion had created. He was once just my brother’s friend, the neighbour boy that was, by chance, in his class, and so much more grew from that.

I’d fallen in love with racing at the same pace I’d discovered myself; his name and his face were a permanent feature in that process. Despite everything, he was part of me and my essence, especially the racing side of my identity.

And those helmets, the house, his words so full of hope, were making me find that side again. Find the girl I once was, that version of myself that time had taken away. I wanted to be that version, because of him and for him.

I grabbed my phone and searched for my dad’s last message.

“Morning. Get me a meeting with Deborah Mayer.” I sent him.

                                                        * 

As I packed my laptop into its case, vowing not to return to the office until the end of my vacation, I felt a bead of sweat trickle down my back. The day was getting hotter and even with the walls providing some protection, the midday sun was oppressive.

I glanced out of the window.

The backyard and the terrace were completely deserted. The chairs around the gazebo table were exactly as we’d left them the day before and Ana’s towel still hung on the back of one of the chairs. I couldn’t help but wonder if the rest of the group were still sound asleep in their beds or if they were too hungover to venture out into the heat of the day.

I got my answer the second I opened the door of the office, as I heard the sound of my brother’s voice echoing down the hallway. It seemed that no matter the situation, they had found a way to have some fun.

“Good morning, sleeping beauties," I said cheerfully as I entered the living space where both couches were occupied by my friends. Rio was stretched out on the corner of the big L couch, eyes closed and head on a soft pillow, with Marjorie’s head resting peacefully on his shoulder. On the smaller couch, Ana was focused on her phone, scrolling through something with a look of intense concentration.

She glanced up at me, her expression worn out, but with a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

“I think they fell asleep again,” Ana said, leaning over the coffee table to retrieve her mug. Two other mugs sat on the tray atop the tiny table; the aroma of coffee mingled with the ocean breeze wafting through the open windows.

I picked up a pillow from the couch and threw it in my brother’s direction. “Good morning!” I repeated, this time a bit louder.

The pillow was still in the air when Carlos stepped in from the kitchen, white polo and navy shorts adorning his frame. He hadn't shaved yet and his hair was still wet. The sun’s rays hit his face, making his eyes appear brighter and highlighting the tiny portion of green in them.

“Morning,” he said.

He was holding a green bowl. I could see bits of granola on the surface of a white substance, likely yoghurt. My stomach growled. I didn’t have much for breakfast and I was famished. I smiled at the Spaniard and turned my face to the couple on the couch, now awake and sitting upright. Marjorie's hair was dishevelled and dark circles were visible under her eyes.

"How's that hangover treating you?" I asked her, sitting on the armrest of the couch; Carlos sat on the other side of the couch, gaze fixed on the TV.

“Still alive, so that’s a good sign,” she gave me a weak smile and leaned her head against Rio’s shoulder once more. “But I’m definitely feeling it.”

"Yeah, you definitely look like you're feeling it," I said as my brother kissed her forehead and she giggled at her own disgrace. I glanced at the TV for a second, the silence bothering me. “Anyways,” my eyes wandered through the room. I thought Ana had fallen asleep, but she quickly moved her head when I spoke. “What are the plans for today?”

“We talked about hitting the course,” Carlos replied, his eyes not leaving the TV for more than two seconds.

“Golf?” I turned back to Rio, almost begging for a change of plans. “Isn’t it too hot for that?”

He pinched both sides of his forehead and then the bridge of his nose, indicating that I may have spoken too loudly. “It’s not like we can go to the gym or a ride in a boat in this state. We’re leaving in an hour or two. It must be less warm by then.”

"Oh..." I glanced out of the window. The yacht was swaying on the waves and the sun was casting a bright line on the ocean. "I think I'll pass, but have fun.”

“No, no way!” Ana intervened. “We’re all going. You’re not going to spend the day alone.”

The other three exchanged looks and I knew right away that they were in agreement. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"Fine," I said hesitantly. "I’m not playing, though.”

“Yes, you are!” Marjorie said, before yawning and stretching her arms up to the sky.  “I've already convinced these two to teach us how to play. You’re not bailing now."

I glanced over at Carlos, that just shrugged at me, and then to Rio. I couldn't help but notice the huge smile on his lips. He looked over at Marjorie, adoration clear in his eyes. “I married the right one,” he said with a satisfied nod.

"Golf it is, then," I said under my breath, defeated, and glanced at the kitchen archway. "I'll grab something to eat and get ready."

I turned on my heel, famished and frankly annoyed at the plans set for the day. The room had fallen silent again, with only the voice of one of the journalists on the TV audible. However, it changed when I stepped through the kitchen archway, as another set of footsteps followed mine. I spun around to find Carlos standing there, his empty bowl in his hands and the puffiness under his eyes setting a tired expression on his face.

My thoughts whirled around in my head. I had so many questions to ask him, ones that had been building up since last night and whose importance kept increasing. We were alone for the first time since the night before. I had every question on the tip of my tongue, but my courage slipped away. I didn’t even know if he remembered anything.

“You startled me,” I said before turning back around and entering the division.

The kitchen was empty and the only audible sound was the soft hum of the refrigerator and the chirping of some birds skirting on the window sill. While I walked to the refrigerator, Carlos stopped in front of the sink.

"There's a bowl for you in the fridge," he said. "I thought you might be hungry."

Oh?

"That's…” the gesture surprised me, but so many questions layered over the action. I forced a smile, not wanting to seem arrogant. “That’s very kind of you. Thank you."

There was a bowl in the fridge, with a generous helping of crunchy granola and dark chocolate chips floating atop the creamy yoghurt. Dark chocolate. His bowl didn’t have any dark chocolate. He added it to mine because he remembered I liked it.

“Hope it’s not soggy. You took a bit more than I expected.”

“They look fine. Thank you.”

Slowly, he turned back to the skin and started washing his bowl and a couple more mugs; I couldn’t help but let my gaze linger on the image as I approached him to grab one of the spoons he’d just washed from the dish rack. His face turned toward me and seconds later the sound of the water faded.

I sat down on one of the stools of the island counter, my attention shifting between him and the cereal, incapable of allowing my eyes to sit on him. Every time they caught a glimpse of him, the memories of the night before would appear.

But he didn’t have such a problem.

I could feel myself crumble under his eyes.

“About last night,” he broke the silence, voice so low it made me drift into another frequency. “I had a few too many drinks. I need to apologize.”

“That’s fine. Don’t worry.”

But then he bit his lip and after a fast nod, he spoke again. "I just want you to know that I never meant to make you feel uncomfortable. I don't want to come between you two—not that I could."

I was expecting an apology, but the intensity of his gaze surprised me. He grabbed the kitchen cloth on the counter in front of me and meticulously cleaned his hands. I shook my head, my voice barely above a whisper.

“No, we—” A pause. “I wasn’t—I didn’t— Nevermind.”

“I can… get you his number?" he offered, still cleaning his hands, his voice actually overlapping mine. “If you haven’t gotten it, yet.”

At this point, I don’t think we were even listening to each other. I paused for a moment, considering his words and waiting for him to listen to me. I knew he didn’t mean it. His clenched fits around the cloth told me that and much more.

I shook my head. “I don’t want that.”

Carlos nodded slowly, his expression puzzled. The line of his brows cast a shadow over his eyes. He leaned against the counter and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“How many times do I have to ask you to not do that thing?” He frowned further. “Trying to read me. It feels like you’re actually inside my mind.”

He snorted. “Are you annoyed?”

I swallowed hard, the cereal was forgotten in front of me. It was clear that we were both tiptoeing around the elephant in the room, but I didn't know how to approach it. And, to be sure, I didn’t even know what it was, exactly. Was it the kiss? Was it his plea right before he fell asleep? Or was it simply the fact that we were both so obviously attracted to each other, regardless of anything else?

“I am.”

“Why?”

“How much do you remember from last night?”

“Enough.”

“Enough?” I tilted my head and he raised one of his eyebrows. “What does that exactly mean?”

“Means that I saw you kissing that guy.”

I nodded. “So you remember going there and asking me to come home?”

“I do.”

“So you should know why am I annoyed.”

“Eva, porfa—” He rolled his eyes, hands going to his hair and taking their time making their way through the strands. “What do you want me to tell you? I was drunk. Seeing him… You two together…”

“You have no reason to put on a show and get mad at me when you practically shoved me into his arms.” I took a long, deep breath. “And for a second, I was thankful when I saw you walk there, until the moment I understood why you were there.”

His eyes widened. “Thankful?”

“Are you that dumb?”

“You didn’t…?” I shook my head.

“No, you idiot.” I snapped at him. The deep shadow under his brows intensified, his jaw clenching at the same pace my words reached him. I could breathe the rage. “I didn’t want to kiss him. I probably gave him some mixed signals, but—”

“That fucking—” He mumbled, more to himself than to my ears and just as he pronounced those words, and I silenced mine, he took a deep breath. I didn’t remember the last time I heard him swear. “I’m sorry. I should have—”

“What?”

“Done something. I don’t know. I didn't mean to, but seeing you with him... I got a sense of possessiveness. I just wanted to take you out of there. For the wrong reasons?” he paused. “I’m not proud of it.” His eyes were closed, jaw locked and fits clenched. I bit the interior of my cheek, my stomach twisting in reaction to his affirmation. “And him… He’s not…”

“All this because you were so busy with some bimb—” He bit his lip, stopping his lips from curling into a grin. “Are you having fun with this?”

“I am, now.”

“What game are you playing?” He let go of his lip and his grin grew to its pinnacle. I had to take a deep breath to not say anything else. “Carlos.”

“What do you want me to say?” He shrugged. “Or else, to do? I can’t make it more clear, Eva.”

“We’ve talked about this. You’re not making this any easier. You’re being—”

“What?” He paused. “Selfish? I’m aware. I’m also aware you’re instigating every little feeling and emotion I tried to mute for years. I feel like I was fighting an addiction and now I’m on the verge of relapse.”

“You can’t—”

“I know I’m far from doing the right thing, but in two days you’ll be going back to Madrid and I’m not sure when or where I’ll see you again.”

“And?”

“I don’t want to feel like I missed my shot. Again.”

I couldn’t breathe. The air was too thick, too heavy and the floor was tilting under my feet. The way he said it, the way his lips curled into a smirk. God. The war that I was waging between my body’s needs and my mind’s fears again pushed its way to the front of my mind as soon as he said those words—in his eyes, I could sense the same turmoil I felt inside.

“You can either reject me and let me go, or you can be jealous of anyone around me. You can’t do both.” He said, voice so low and horse, a hint of tiredness warring on his features. “You need to make up your mind, Eva.”

"It would be easier to talk about it if I hadn’t already."

                                                        * 

“You’re masochists”, I said as we arrived at the clubhouse as a group, finally hiding from the heat and the sun that felt unbearable during the small walk there from the parking lot. “And probably stupid if you’re really thinking about playing in this heat.”

“Let’s get her some clubs,” Rio said to Carlos with a wink, just as he put a hand around my shoulders and dragged me to the reception. Although I tried to battle my way out of it, I couldn't escape without a bag on my shoulder and a white glove in my hand. Carlos seemed to be enjoying himself, his eyes twinkling as I pulled the glove onto my hand and did the strap around my fist.

“Suits you,” he said with a grin.

We made our way to the driving range and I was blown away by the sheer size of it all, from the magnitude of the manicured lawns and perfectly trimmed hedges of the green mantle ahead of me to the luxurious ambience that enveloped us. The sun cast a beautiful light over the grass and the air was dry and hard to breathe, but the shade of the driving range gazebo made it more tolerable.

“It won’t be so hot in here,” Carlos’s hand gently touched my lower back, as he guided me to one of the unoccupied benches in front of a free tee area. “Want something to drink?”

The rest of the group settled on the other benches and around the small green patches of grass. I looked around, absorbing the energy, wanting to be in the same frequency as all of them. Marjorie was far more excited than me and I certainly didn’t want to ruin the mood.

“A mojito,” I told him. It would definitely bring up my mood. “Or a mimosa.”

“No water?” I frowned at his question, quickly shaking my head.

“You want to stay here the whole afternoon and yet you offer me water?”

Carlos chuckled. "I'm sure we can find something like that around here," he said. “I’ll get you some water anyways.”

With a gentle nod, thanking him, I turned to the horizon, taking the opportunity to glance around the driving range, to take in the sights and sounds of the golfers around us and the white carts driving towards the 18-hole course.

"You're sure you really want to stay here?" I asked, turning my gaze back to him. Carlos had his arm and hand up, calling the attention of a young waitress. "I can go with you all out there, no problem.”

He frowned, shaking his head. "I want to stay here.”

“If you’re here just because I was complaining about the heat, we—”

“I’m here because I want to,” he paused, “and because Marjorie forced us to promise we would teach you two how to play.”

I twitched my mouth. "So you're really committed to that?"

"As much as you are to learning," he said with a wink, to which I just rolled my eyes.

“I think you’re mistaken. I just download two eBooks before coming here.” He laughed at my words.

The waiter eventually came over and Carlos ordered two fresh bottles of water and a mojito. The moment the girl left, he turned to me with palpable excitement. In his hands stood one of the clubs he’d grabbed from my backpack and, with a flourish, he passed it to me. I couldn't help but laugh.

“Wait,” I said and his gaze almost automatically looked up to meet mine. “Is all of this because I once called you professor?” I teased, whirling the club around in my hands. “Have you been dreaming about it ever since?”

Fighting a reaction, he just shook his hand towards the centre of the green patch ahead of us. “Come here,”  he ordered as he laid one ball on the tee, his voice holding some sense of authority. “Let’s start with the basics,” his hand motioned to the space between him and the ball. “Show me what you remember.”

My feet quickly took the same route his feet did before, making me stand between him and the small white sphere. Despite getting so close to him, close enough to hear the murmur of his breath, Carlos didn’t move.

“Can I help you with this?”

“Sure,” I said. Saddled with the pressure of his hands that quickly travelled to mine, I felt the warmth of his chest and the embrace his arms wrapped me in. After correcting my hands, he put both of his on the sides of my waist, moving them slightly. “You just need to bend the knees a bit more,” he indicated and my body responded with ease.

Carlos stepped away and moved closer to the bench. Enough to give me space, but close enough to me to remind me he was still here, which didn’t soothe my whole self still, which was left in disarray from the previous proximity. The wind blew gently, carrying with it the fresh scent of the ocean and the newly cut grass. Carlos's specs, perched atop his head, didn't prevent the breeze from lifting up the locks of his hair, blowing them back from his forehead.

“Relax the shoulders,” he instructed and with a nod, I shook my arms slightly, releasing the tension. “Go at it.”

Copying Marjorie’s gestures and recalling the lessons from my father years ago, I took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, feeling my body align with the club before I took a swing, the sound of the ball hitting the tee filling the air. I opened my eyes and saw the ball flying far away from me and my companions, who were cheering me on from the sidelines.

“Not bad,” the Spaniard said, passing by me to get another ball from the bucket. “Almost a natural at this.” He laid it at my feet and got up. “Next time, try to be focused on the ball and not the teacher.”

Something had changed. I couldn’t help but notice a spark of delight in his eyes or a hint of teasing in each of his words. There was a palpable energy between us, one I knew he was feeling too. I opened my lips to talk, a comeback already on the tip of my tongue, but with a sudden jolt, the sound of Marjorie’s club impacting the ball made him turn away.

"Oh my god!" She shouted, her eyes widening in amazement as the ball sailed across the sky, seemingly flying away. "Babe, do you see how far it went? Eva! Carlos! Did you see that?" She looked at me, then at Carlos.

I couldn't help but smile at the sight of Marjorie's joy. "That was good!" I said. "But don't get too cocky. I'm sure I can make my ball go farther than yours," I winked at her and turned to Carlos. "Make me better at this."

The Spaniard raised an eyebrow, lips shaping into a confused smile. He looked around and all it took was to look at Rio, whose expression instigated him to join in, for Carlos to shift his own. "Now you're interested?”

"As you said the other day,” Marjorie patted Carlos on the arm, as she walked towards the bucket of balls laying at Carlos’ feet. “All it takes is a bit of competition and Eva gets motivated."

He chuckled; a deep, throaty sound that made me smile. “I can see that. The goal is beating Marjorie?”

I shrugged. “The goal is to not totally suck at this.”

Carlos walked over to me, his strides were more conscious and assertive than before. “You beat Marjorie, you decide how, where and when to celebrate your victory. If she wins, we have dinner tonight.” I raised my eyebrow.

“How does that sound?” His eyes searched mine for an answer.

I met him head-on. “I can get behind that.”

“Good,” he seemed satisfied with my response, giving me only a gentle nod before gesturing towards the ball. Carlos stepped back, close enough so I could still hear his instructions and corrections, but far enough from the angle of my movements.

Glancing at the couple in front of me, I saw Rio move away from Marjorie and walk towards Carlos. Marjorie was looking down, holding her stance.

After positioning both hands on the pockets of his shorts, my brother glanced at me. “Ready?” I nodded. “Go ahead, girls.”

For the first time in a while, I wasn’t totally sure I wanted to win. Despite this, my heart beat rapidly in my chest and I wasn’t sure why. I faced the white sphere, my body inching forward. I closed my eyes and swung the club, feeling the tension leave my shoulders as the ball flew through the air. When I opened my eyes, I saw it soaring high, farther than I expected it to go.

With a loud thwack, Marjorie’s ball cut the sky. I wasn’t sure how to react when her ball flew higher and farther than mine. She knew exactly how to react, cheering in delight and wrapping her arms around Rio, who joined her to celebrate.

I glanced over at Carlos, his nose scrunched up as his eyes searched the green mantle in front of us, too bright from the direct sunlight. “That was impressive!” He clapped once, his enthusiasm adorable and contagious. He then raised his hand towards Marjorie, who was still giggling when she raised her hand to high-five him.

God, how can this man make this mildly interesting sport into something actually enjoyable?

“Yours was not bad, Eva,” my brother said, a slight smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. I had to lift my eyes from where I was already bent down, preparing to place another ball on my tee, to look up at Rio. “But I’m sorry to say, I think this might be the first sport you will fall behind us in.”

I sighed and stood up, adjusting the pleads of my skirt. "Don't push it.”

Carlos chuckled, the sound bringing a sense of calm. "Alright," he said, patting my brother on the back before turning to me. "Ignore him and focus on me.”

Not difficult, I wanted to say.

Once again, he positioned himself behind me, this time not asking anything before his hands settled on my waist. I felt a slight shift as he adjusted my posture, the sensation of his fingers brushing against the skin of my thigh through the fabric of the cotton skirt.

"I don't think I need any more help," I said, my voice quiet, but he still remained close, his presence a tangible reminder of the tension that lingered in the air.

“I do,” a pause. He patted my thigh with two fingers. “Spread your legs.”

Oh.

Carlos was closer than I anticipated, his words brushed against my earlobe and set on fire a darker side of my mind that was awakened by that command. I complied; what else could I do? I would have taken over the world if he had asked me to.

“A bit more,” his fingers continued there. Then, he patted my skin once again. “Perfect. Now, your grip,” he continued. His voice was so stern and unwavering, I almost felt anger at his composure in this situation. Carlos moved his hands, now firmly on top of mine as he corrected the angle of my fists. “Keep them like this when you lean forward. Don’t bend them back like you were doing before.”

And he stepped back.

The scent of sandalwood vanished and the comfort of his chest departed with it.

It felt cold even under the almost 30-degree sun.

I leaned forward, turning my face in his direction, looking for his approval. Before giving me a slight nod, he regarded me for a couple of seconds. His eyes were set away from my face and not quite on my hands. Was he looking at me? At my ass?

“Like this?” I asked and his gaze quickly met mine. It was only then that he nodded.

“Keep your grip light, but not too relaxed. You need to have control over the club.” A pause. “Swing once or twice before hitting. Pronto?”

“Pronto,” I answered before shaking my arms and getting into position. “Ready when you are, Marge.”

Marjorie’s ball was the first to take flight, soaring away and disappearing into the bright blue sky. My swing took a few more seconds and, despite all the effort and focus I put into making it a great hit, a high-pitched cheer from my right made it clear that my drive was still not as impressive as hers.

“Closer, but not quite there, yet,” Rio said, a playful smile on his face as he glanced over at me. “If we hang around here for the rest of the day you'll eventually get the hang of it.” He paused and I turned around to go have a sip of the mojito waiting for me at a small table. “Or you just suck at this and no time in the world will be enough.”

I flipped him off, my lips busy with the straw, sucking in the fresh drink. Rio chuckled at my response and I rolled my eyes in response, a smile tugging at my lips. Carlos stepped forward and took one club from his bag, turning his attention towards Rio.

"Alright, let's see what you’ve got," Sainz said, shaking his head. "You've been talking a lot, but I haven't seen you do anything yet."

Rio's face lit up in response to the challenge, his competitive spirit visible in the way he stepped up to his bag and took one of the clubs. His strides were confident when he walked towards the tee, face scrunched up in intense focus.

With a steady swing, he hit the ball and it flew far into the horizon. He let out a satisfied “Ha!” before turning to his best friend.

“Show me what you got, Chili,” my brother said with a victorious grin on his lips.

Carlos raised his eyebrows, his expression one of amusement. "Sure you don't want to give me any advice?"

Rio shrugged and Marjorie walked towards me, taking one of the bottles of water the waitress had left near her stuff. As I focused on my sister-in-law, the banter from the guys filled the background. She sat on my bench and crossed her legs.

“You seem excited,” she said, her hand aligned with her eyebrows as she tried to look at me, positioned between her and the sun.

“You’re wrong. I’m being humiliated,” I chuckled and as a loud thwack filled the air, I looked back to see Carlos’ ball cross the sky. He winked at me before turning back to Rio.

Rio gave a low whistle, his eyes still on the horizon, and shook his head in wonderment. "That was some good stuff," he said in admiration. I turned back to Marjorie, but Rio’s words made me pay attention to him once more. "You found yourself a good teacher, sis. If only he was as good at teaching as he is at playing…”

Rio's words lingered in the air and I felt a sudden tension arise between Carlos and me. I couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed for the way my brother had said it, but, as it seemed to be the norm, Carlos appeared unfazed.

"Eva is a tough one to teach," he gestured to the tee area. I left the mojito on its coaster and grabbed my club before walking towards him, ready to find out what he had in store for me. "She's a bit stiff, you know?" He continued, tapping my arms with his fingers. "These arms," he added, poking them gently, "and these abs," he continued, poking the sides of my waist, making me giggle due to the ticklish sensation. "They need work. She’s been lazy."

Marjorie looked at us with a crease between her brows and then at Rio with a more confused expression. Ana was also looking over at us and even from a distance, I could notice her confusion. The corners of my mouth instantly turned up in a self-conscious smile and I straightened my posture, still trying to process the giggle that had just escaped my lips.

Carlos, seemingly unaware of the commotion he had caused, guided me to the centre of the tee area and stepped back. He corrected some flaws he had noticed in my stance. “Three more hits. Make me proud,” he said

My heart fluttered at the challenge and I nodded in agreement, my mind set on not totally sucking at this game. If I couldn’t beat Marjorie, I wanted to be almost there. After another deep breath and a swing of the club, my eyes fixed on the ball as it flew away. When I opened them, the ball was soaring high and I let out a victorious hoot.

"That's more like it!" Carlos said, clapping his hands in approval. "Again."

I repositioned myself onto the tee, feeling a renewed sense of determination. My feet moved in place, adrenaline rushing from the handle and taking me whole. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and swung the club with all my might. The sound of the club hitting the ball filled the air and when I opened my eyes, I saw the ball flying far away from me.

"That was a great hit!" Carlos said, his voice filled with enthusiasm. He stepped forward and patted my back, his hand lingering for a few seconds. "Last one. It’s all or nothing.”

My determination was evident in my stance, but I gave him a gentle nod before I bent over to pull another ball from the bucket. The Spaniard stepped back, siding with Rio who, just like him, had his arms crossed over his chest. While Marjorie arranged her hat, tidying up the ginger strands of hair under the white brim, I adjusted the band of my skirt around my waist.

The faux leather glove was not comfortable and my hand was sweaty under the warm material.

“Ready?” Marjorie looked over her shoulder.

“As I’ll ever be,” I gave her a tiny smile.

All the distractions faded away, vanishing from my mind as my gaze fixed on the end of the field ahead of me. My arms felt relaxed yet in control. My focus was on the ball and the horizon and not on Carlos’ arms, which had been around me moments ago. Not on his low, warm voice against my ear. Not on his hands, on top of mine, handling me like a doll.

Joder.

Marjorie had already hit her ball and I was still there, my mind so preoccupied with pushing away all the distractions that the main one made me freeze in place.

Focus, Eva.

I took a deep breath and shook my arms, trying to get rid of the tension, but I was too deeply immersed in the warm comfort his presence had evoked in my body and the traps my subconscious had set up for me.

Maybe I never intended to win. The look on Carlos' face, the undertone in his eyes when he saw my ball fall into the grass and noticed Marjorie had won, giving him the privilege to control our night, made me wonder why I had even tried.

                                                        * 

“Olivia is asking for you,” Marjorie sat to my right, on one of the foldable chairs me and Rio had carried to the pier some day before. She handed me the phone, where my niece’s face was plastered into.

“Tia Eva!” Olivia, my three-year-old niece said, her hands extended to the screen and a huge smile on her tiny face, revealing her imperfect denture. Adorable.

"Hi there, baby," I said, waving to the camera. "Where's Grace?"

My mom, holding the phone behind the camera, pointed it to the other side of the room. There, my niece was sitting on the floor, playing with a pile of books. I chuckled, my heart melting at the sight.

"Are you two behaving?" I asked. My niece answered with two nods of her head, making her pigtails swing. "Is Grammie behaving too?"

She scrunched her nose and looked over the camera, probably at my mom. "Grammie gave us ice cream from the store.” After speaking, she quickly brought up her finger to her lips. “Don't tell Mom."

From behind the camera, my mother asked the same thing. Marjorie, just two steps away, had already heard it. Ignoring her mad face, I turned my attention to the little girl on the screen.

“Can you give a kiss to Grace for me?” Olivia's face lit up with a smile and she got up from the floor. “Liv, you don’t need to— Okay, you’re doing it now.”

Reaching Grace, Olivia got on her knees and planted a kiss on her sister’s forehead, whose face instantly brighten up. "Fatto!” She screamed from afar.

A shadow fall on my back and when I looked down to the corner of the screen to see who was shielding me from the sun, my eyes met Carlos' grinning face. His head was hovering just above mine.

“Hola, señoritas,” Carlos said with a warm smile and the two faces on the screen shifted to meet his gaze. “Your papa told me you asked about me. Here I am.”

“Chili!” Olivia shouted, while Grace just jumped in her place. Liv, the most easygoing of the two got closer to the screen, the excitement in her voice growing louder with each step. “Papá said your house is big and you have a boat, and a pool, and the whole sea.”

Carlos gave a hearty chuckle, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "It's true," he said, nodding his head in affirmation while taking the phone out of my hands. "But we’re not having much fun. This it's nothing compared to when I visit."

Grace shook her head, still seated in the back. “Grammie doesn’t have a boat,” she murmured with a sigh, her eyes wide with amazement.

My gaze turned to Marjorie, who was just smiling at the image of Carlos with her phone in his hand, walking around the pier and showing the Riva yacht to the twins. He seemed to be convincing them that we were not having too much fun and it was evident that he was succeeding in his mission.

“Does he visit a lot?” I asked Marjorie, my back meeting the back of the foldable chair again.

Her clear eyes drifted from the Spaniard and turned back to me. "Almost every time he’s at home." She paused and looked back at the image of Carlos, her voice softening. "They are crazy for him."

He smiled and his gaze shifted to me. His expression softened and I felt a warmth embrace me that I hadn't felt in a long time.

"I got that idea at my mom’s birthday party,” I said, still following his strides over the pier, the adorable sight and sound of his excited voice talking to the twins. “When I saw them so comfortably waking and being around him, Olivia’s tiny hand on his hair… my heart melted.”

“Of envy or—”

“Don’t be stupid,” she laughed and I hit her on the arm.

Marjorie turned her chair to me. I didn’t need to be a psychic to guess what she was about to say. “You’re getting along well,” and there it was. I rolled my eyes. “Although you almost tricked me last night, kissing the German guy.”

"Yeah, let’s not talk about that," I said, my gaze on Carlos and my attention on the sound of his voice carrying over. He was telling the twins a story, his intonation and gestures making it more vivid. Blue shorts, with tiny single-seaters printed on them, and a rose gold iPhone in his hand.

A gentle tug at my arm distracted me. I turned in Marjorie’s direction, only to find her smiling at me.

"You have to admit," she said, a soft glint in her eyes. "He's pretty charming."

And if it was a movie and he was aware of his cues, he laughed at something and I couldn’t help but smile at the sight. Carlos had a way of making everything seem so easy.

“Where is this coming from?” I asked her, “Why this sudden interest? Last Friday you were asking me to ignore him the whole week because you needed, and I quote, a nice drama-free week with your dearest hubby.”

She sighed. “I’ve seen the way you both look at each other and last night… I could have been drunk, but I clearly noticed how pissed he got when he saw you with the other guy.”

“His name is Uwe,” I added.

“Him,” she shrugged. “The second I saw Carlos’ face… I knew you were not telling me your whole story.”

I cleared my throat and tried to shake away the sudden feeling of being exposed, of the truth being unveiled. "Marjorie," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "We are just friends."

Her eyebrow raised and she gave me a knowing smile. "Right," she said, her voice softening. "That's what you two keep saying." She looked over at Carlos, her gaze lingering a bit too long, before turning back to me with a knowing smile. "The way you look at each other, though…” she let out a long, dramatic sigh. “The eyes, chica, they don’t lie.”

“Ugh,” I grunted, defeated, dragging my hands over my face. “You’re so annoying. What do you want me to say?”

Marjorie's gaze softened and she smiled. "I'm not asking you to say anything. Just be honest with yourself." She gestured to Carlos, who was still playing with the twins and nodded her head in his direction. "Look at him. What do you see?"

I sighed, my gaze still fixed on Carlos. He was holding the phone in one hand and the other was now in his hair. With slow steps, he approached my brother and sat by his side under the shade of the gazebo, the phone in front of them both.

“A devilishly handsome man in ridiculous swimming trunks talking on the phone with two toddlers and somehow sounding more childish than them.”

Marjorie smiled, her eyes twinkling with amusement. "What I heard was: a man who, despite his tough exterior and terrible communication skills, is a gentle and caring soul who understands you, loves your family like his own, and is willing to put in effort for you.”

She looked at me with a victorious grin.

“Manipulative bitch,” I whispered under my breath, a comment to which she responded with a strident laugh.

“You think I don’t know what I’m doing?” Marjorie asked me with a playful glint in her eyes. She leaned back in her chair, the sun playing with her red hair, making it look like a flaming halo around her head.

“I think you do,” I said, my lips curving into a smile. “But it doesn’t make it any less annoying.”

“You’ll thank me later,” she said, her voice softening. “Now go talk to him.”

“Later,” I said, standing up and fixing the strings of my swimsuit. “We’re having dinner together.”

And before I turned around to make my way to the gazebo to talk with my brother who was, once again, alone, I had the opportunity to witness the almost impeccable “o” shape that Marjorie's lips had formed.

The sun was still high, but the dusky colours of the sunset were already starting to paint the firmament. My eyes scanned the surroundings as I traced the cement of the pier, the small rocks and the sand hurting the bare skin of my feet. I missed these long sunsets and the easy-going life by the sea. The casual conversations, the banter, the small routine we’d constructed for ourselves.

It was all so easy.

The warmth of the setting sun and the sound of the waves against the pier were the perfect background melody to the conversations that so easily flowed. My brother’s laughter mingled perfectly with the engine of the jetskis roaring in the distance. I touched his shoulder before sitting on an empty chair in front of him.

Carlos, sitting next to him, raised his eyes from his phone, his lips forming a faint smile. Marjorie’s iPhone was now balancing on Rio’s leg.

"Did they finally let you go?" He frowned, not quite understanding the question at first before realisation dawned on him.

"Your mother had to bribe them with ice cream, actually," he said, taking a sip of the Estrella Galicia he was holding in his other hand. "I'm sorry for stealing them away from you; I didn’t let you finish talking."

"Oh, don't worry about it,” I raised my hands, shanking them in front of me. “I talk to them every day, it's no big deal."

A gentle nod of the head and a raspy sound came from Rio, who cleared his throat. “Are you finally filling me up about the email I got from Dad?”

I paused for a moment. “Email? Actually, Dad’s why I came here.”

“Do you need me to—” Carlos stepped forward, pointing at the sea before standing up and taking Marjorie’s iPhone from Rio’s leg. “I’ll take this to Marjorie,” he said, his voice calm and assured. His eyes then shifted to me. “Can you be ready in one hour?”

Rio’s confusion was evident, as his eyes moved between the two of us. “For what?”

I shook my head in response, my eyes going back to Carlos, already walking towards Marjorie. “Not at all. Where are we going?”

The question lingered in the air, unanswered, as Carlos continued his journey towards Marjorie.

My brother seemed to notice the lack of response, looking between the two of us in confusion. “Where are you two going?”

Carlos only responded with a simple command. “Just grab a sweater then,” he told me. “I’ll be back soon.”

A feeling of uncertainty filled me as I watched him disappear down the corridor, leaving Rio and me behind. With his back now facing me in the shadow, I could see in full resolution the muscles glistening under the sun, the soft breeze lifting the dark strands of his hair up in the air. He sat where I was sitting a minute ago and before I could pay attention to what he was saying to Marjorie, Rio called for me.

I turned to him. “I don’t know either.”

But God, how I was dying to know.

"So then," he gestured with his hand. "The email…?”

“Right,” I exhaled and sat upright. “What email?”

“Dad sent me an email. You apparently want a meeting with Deborah Mayer?”

“I don’t know if it’s a fit, but The Iron Dames seem like a good first step to reenter the scene,” Rio nodded. “I’m looking at F3, too. I need to do something. Find a place. They can help.”

“Oh,” he moved in his seat, his hands landing on the armrests of the beach chair. “F3? Dad won’t like that. He started to ramble about you’re seat at WEC, and—”

“Rio,” my brother looked at me. “Don’t ask me why, but I want to do something. I want to do something. And I don’t care if Dad is behind me on it, but I can’t feel like this while racing. I’ve spent the last year trying to understand why I feel so… lost. I love the team, I loved The Challenge, but that was not what I was fighting for.”

“F3 is?”

“F1 is.” I paused. “F3 is the first step.”

“Eva, you’re aiming high…” he started. “I get it. You need to find your passion again. But are you sure this is the right move?”

“I don’t know,” I replied honestly.

“And if he says no?”

“Why would he?”

We sat in silence for a few moments, the only sound of the sea lazily kissing the shore. I thought about my father and his expectations for me. Wondered what he said in the email he apparently sent to Rio. At that point, I hadn’t heard anything from my father after my text. I can’t complain about him. Dad had always been supportive of my racing career, but he also had his own agenda. He wanted me to be a champion and win races. “You either win or lose.” I heard him say time and time again. But racing wasn’t just about winning. Racing is not just about winning—it is about the thrill of the competition, the rush of adrenaline, and the feeling of being alive.

Rio knows that.

"I know it's a risk. And it could be a waste of money. And could go terribly wrong but—”

“Breath,” my brother said. Understanding writing in his eyes. “I get it. I was there once.”

“What did Dad say in the email?”

“It’s not worth it to repeat,” his lips drew a fragile smile. "It sounds like you've decided.” He leaned back in his chair and took a sip of his Estrella Galicia. “What do you need me to say?”

The corner of my lip kicked up in a subtle way and his did the same, a slight smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"You know… just that typical big brother stuff. You can always call me, you’re capable of that and so much more… I'll be by your side no matter what… " I said with a shrug, gesturing with my hands, imitating his Italian gestures that, for some reason, he had picked up from my dad to a degree that I hadn't managed. He chuckled softly, as though he had been privy to my thoughts.

Rio's eyes softened and he gave me a small nod of approval. "Of course, I will," he said. "You know I'm always here for you, Eva. Besides," he added. "I'm sure Carlos would be a great help too."

“I don’t want to go there…”

“What I mean is that he’s always been a great support for you before. You work well together, or— used to. He knows the field. He knows the people. He can help. Mayer can help you, but I’m sure you can also find some support in Ferrari. You’ve won their championship… But don't forget—Carlos is the one who got you interested in the sport in the first place." He paused and gave me a pointed look. "And he's the one who has been in the industry for years. He can give you great advice. Don’t be too stubborn. Use the help, open as many doors as you can." He reached over and squeezed my hand gently. "And you know I'm always here for you, too.” He paused. “See? I can do the big brother bullshit too.”

“So caring,” with an eye roll, I gently slapped his hand. “So, you think I won’t fuck this up?”

"You? Fuck it up? Nah, never," he shook his head and gave me a reassuring smile. "You got this."

The words lingered in the air for a while and I was at a loss for what to say. Motorsport-wise, Rio had been my rock ever since the first day I set foot on the track. Carlos had been there with him too, clutching my hand and making me laugh on our way home when things didn’t go as I expected them to.

Both of them had been there for more than ten years, supporting me on and off track. Better, we’ve been there for each other. And even if I’d lost a major pillar somewhere along the way, which hurt like hell, we were collectively working on rebuilding it.

A wave of gratitude washed over me when I laid my eyes on my brother. Reaching out, I grabbed his hand.

“Thank you,” I let out. “I’m sorry for not making it easier for you to have this same conversation with me months ago.”

Rio shook his head, a gentle smile playing on his lips. "It's okay. It's all part of growing up, I guess." He glanced around the pier, taking in the sight of the sun setting, the laughter of the others, and the feeling of warmth that filled the air. He gave my hand a gentle squeeze. “I knew the island air would help you figure out a thing or two.”

The corner of my lips tugged up in a gentle smile as I looked at my brother, my hand still in his. On my palms, the warmth of his skin spelt a confirmation of his presence and companionship. I knew he was right from the moment I’d stepped on that plane.

Ever since then, I was invited to see the world from a new perspective and new paths unravelled in front of me. Whether I’d chosen to trace the right ones, I was yet to discover, but at least, I felt ready to try.

                                                        * 

The sun was still high, but the dusky colours of the sunset were already starting to paint the horizon. The wind was gentle and it brought the smell of the sea to my nose and played with my hair, which caressed my face.

My eyes scanned the surroundings as I traced the cement of the pier, the small rocks and the sand hurting the bare skin of my feet. I sat on the pier, my legs hanging down from it, toes pointed at the water, being kissed by the occasional splashes Rio provoked, riding Carlos’ electric surfboard a few feet away.

My brother’s contagious laughter mingled with Marjorie’s screams of joy, as she cheered him from a smaller boat owned by the Sainz. The other four accompanied her—Ana filming Rio, as he crossed the mirror of water effortlessly. I closed my eyes, my entire being encapsulated in that moment, and attempted to block out the nerves.

Carlos’ yacht, a gleaming beauty, moored in front of me. Its brown hull shone brightly in the sunlight and gentle waves kissed its shell. I just waited, impatient. My heart raced in my chest, filling me with a warmth that had nothing to do with the setting sun.

Every couple of minutes, I glanced at the other end of the pier, scanning the backyard and trying to see in between the branches of the trees, trying to spot him. Carlos had texted before I left my room, after brushing my wet, salty hair and exchanging my sun dress with wet patches around my breasts and sand trapped in the cotton fibres for a new, cleaner one.

“Wait for me at the pier. I’m a little late,” he had written.

And despite the fact that I’d replied to him with a breezy “No problems!”, I had a lot of problems.

It was Carlos who I was meeting, for a date at sunset, probably in his yacht, to discuss the feelings none of us seemed capable of wanting to hide or deny. My sixteen-year-old self would be dying for something remotely like this. That thought alone made me smile.

Raising my head and turning it to my right, once more wishing to end this waiting game, my eyes finally caught a glimpse of a man. Bare feet on the grass, a white t-shirt and navy blue trunks with the white Formula Ones printed on them, a brown wicker basket in one hand and a bouquet of daisies in the other.

I got up, my eyes never leaving the flowers and the man carrying them.

My breath caught in my throat and I couldn't help but smile as I watched Carlos approach me, a gentle breeze lifting his dark hair, his eyes twinkling.

"I’m so sorry, it took more time than I was expecting," he said, his voice deep and reassuring. He extended the bouquet of daisies in my direction. "I brought you these.”

I took the bouquet with my free hand. The other one was too busy clenching the fabric of my jumper.

"Thank you," I said, my lips curving into a smile as I brought the bouquet closer, inhaling its sweet scent. “What took you so long? If you don’t mind me asking.”

He raised the basket he was holding and crossed the distance between the pier and the yacht. “The food.” Carlos left the basket on one of the seats and came back to the end of the boat with his hand extended to me. “I thought we could enjoy a picnic at sea.”

My hand felt so light when I found his touch. His fingers wrapped around my hand so gently and effortlessly and he helped me get in. Then, his hands travelled to my waist, navigating me around. I laid down the flowers on top of the basket, the sweater on the back of one of the seats and leaned against it while Carlos got the boat ready.

Of everything I’d imagined for our dinner, this was not it. This was romantic.

The flowers and the wicker basket. The sweater and the breeze that became more chilly with each passing second. The smell of the food and the pastel colours that the sunset was bringing into the atmosphere. All of that transported me into a dream.

After undoing one more set of ropes and throwing them to the pier, where they fell with a silent thud, he turned to me and motioned to the seat in front, beside the one in front of the helm. I settled in before he reached the helm.

Carlos glanced at me before turning the key on the ignition. The engine roared to life, the vibrations rippling through the air, shaking up the loaded atmosphere. It felt so dumb. I felt dumb. I couldn’t look at his hands, steering the boat, without it bringing my whole body to the edge of self-combustion. To worsen my condition, I dared to look at his face.

Pure joy and excitement radiated from him. His clenched jaw and focused frown softened as the boat picked up speed and we cut the water with ease, away from the Sainz’s backyard. When I remembered to look back, the house was a blur and my friends were tiny dots in the sea.

Carlos was the only subject I could focus on.

The warmth of the sun soaked into my bones. The sky was painted with a beautiful hazy pink and pastel orange. Everything was bathed in a soft golden aura, my mind included. I smiled to myself, feeling so at peace with the world.

My anticipation dissipated as we were carried away by the motions of the boat.

The orange pastels reminded me of a drunk man and his words.

And the feelings he so easily brings out of me.

And the idea that if we were to fall, at least we would fall together.

Two high cliffs rose majestically to our left. The sun slowly set to the right, painting a beautiful tapestry in the sky with its golden hues, even if it was still far from touching the water.

It was magical.

The roar of the engine. The colours. The company.

Carlos cut the engine and the boat slowed down, the silence an eerie sound in the background. I allowed myself to take it in. My eyes roamed around the land, the steep cliffs and the houses planted by the sea, taking in the light, like lazy cats under the sun.

My attention was drawn by the man next to me, who took a step away from the helm and turned to me. The corner of my lips curled up into a small smile when I saw him sitting on one of the seats, back turned to the cliffs and eyes focused on me.

My fingers covered my face, my only shield against his piercing gaze. “Stop that, Sainz.”

He chuckled. “I’m literally just sitting here.”

I shook my head and laughed in response. "You know what I mean," I said. I took a deep breath and sighed. "It's really pretty around here," I said, my voice soft and my gaze turned towards the cliffs.

"Yes, it is," Carlos said softly, his eyes still on me. He paused for a moment before continuing. "The perfect place for a date, I'd say." His voice was light and teasing, but his eyes were serious like he was daring me to contradict him.

“This is not a date, though. Just a dinner.” The curve of his lips grew bigger and his grin wider. “But I know what you mean. Couldn’t be better.”

“Shall we eat?” Carlos suggested, getting up.

My eyes slowly drifted to the basket and the flowers on top of it. The bouquet was strewn around by the wind, its petals scattered, yet somehow still creating an organized chaos of its own. Carlos gently laid it on the white cushion of the seat and picked up the basket, carrying it to the back of the boat, where I watched him, still in silence. He then sat on the aqua-blue sun bed and motioned for me to join him.

Trying to be careful not to disturb his careful arrangement, I tip-toed around him and settled in.

“Do you need any help?” I asked, looking up at him with a smile, eager to be of assistance.

“No, sit and enjoy,” he replied, focused on his task. His eyes didn’t even lift to find me.

Wine, two stemless glasses, grapes, croissants and cinnamon rolls. In his hands, a glass container with figs and honey. He arranged the items carefully around the small linen towel he had spread, before unpacking the basket. My eyes followed each and every one of the movements.

“I didn't want to put pressure on you to get ready for a fancy restaurant, but I also didn't want to settle for a basic dinner,” he explained, holding up the bottle of wine. “Wine?” He offered with a hopeful smile.

“Oh, yes, please,” I replied, sliding my glass closer to him. Carlos quickly grabbed the corkscrew from the basket and opened the bottle of wine with ease, before filling in my glass. “Where did you get all of this?”

“The market from the other day. Went there to pick up some fruit and found a lovely bakery. I had to wait a long time for the croissants, though.” He filled his glass, as well. Only then I took mine to my lips. “They were still in the oven when I got there.”

“That way I can apologize to you for being late,” he looked at me, a small chuckle coming through his thick lips. Laying down the glass on the towel, I took another bite of the pastry. “These are so good.” I looked at the small croissant in my hands, and then back to him, again. His eyebrows were raised as he looked at me attentively, lips shaped in a smile. “You should go and get them for breakfast tomorrow as well,” I teased.

“Eh!” I chuckled in response to the indignation in his tone. “Don’t push it.”

"I'm just making a suggestion," I held my hands in front of me in defence and then extended my hands to grab a piece of cheese, which I popped into my mouth. Then, I took another sip of the wine. The fruity notes of the rosé filled my mouth. “Hum…” I swirled the wine around my mouth; so familiar.

“Good?” He asked, eyebrow raised and a smirk on his lips.

“I know this one,” I reached for the bottle and read the label in front of the peony-pink liquid. “You’re getting better at picking bottles!”

"Yeah, I thought you'd like this one," he said, scooping a spoonful of the figs and honey. "I finally paid attention to your dad's lessons.”

"Really?" Carlos nodded in response, his eyes softening as he savoured the figs. I couldn't help but notice the way his lips glistened with honey, reflecting the light of the sun. “I’ll remember to tell him that.”

I turned my gaze away from him, towards the water and the cliffs towering behind him.

The atmosphere was so light that our words didn’t linger around us; instead, the conversation flowed like the breeze. We made our way through the food and the bottle of wine, getting lost in time and the casual conversation. The pastries were the central point of our interest, baked by the sweet old lady that owned a store not too far away from the house, which she had even wrapped in a pretty box for us. Carlos had left the box inside the basket, but just glancing at the small carton box and the purple ribbon around it made me smile.

Not because I was scared to touch the subject, but because I didn’t want to burst the bubble, we refrained from talking about anything outside of the contours of the island. We pretended to not know what lay behind the horizon. I thought that perhaps he felt the same feeling I was cradling inside my ribcage, the need to be locked in this private paradise, almost like a fort, shielding us from all of the chaos and uncertainty that was happening outside.

We both allowed ourselves to be swept away by the moment; the sun slowly setting behind us, the food slowly disappearing from the linen towel. We talked, we laughed, and we shared, just like two normal people, away from the eyes of the world, enjoying a moment of pure bliss.

It felt like a dream.

At some point, Carlos leaned back, supporting himself on his elbows, and scanned the sky, staring off into the distance. His eyes moved slowly across the horizon, taking in the setting sun and the array of colours that painted the sky. The light fell on his face, so golden, casting the shadow of his eyelashes on his cheeks. The soft, cool breeze gently whipped his hair. He must have noticed the way I had been looking at him because when he turned to me, a knowing smirk was on his lips.

"I'm planning on taking you out to a proper dinner, you know?" I raised an eyebrow at that and tried to stop the smile of anticipation from appearing on my lips. "The day you finally let me take you on an official date, I mean," he clarifies nonchalantly and lays lay down completely, the back of his head resting on his hands. "I'll wait.”

“Never thought you would be so patient, Sainz,” I teased while snatching a grape from the cluster in front of me.

The Spaniard smiled and shook his head. "You make it sound like I'm desperate," he laughed. "But I do have some patience." A pause. "I think it has its limits, though.”

My eyes scanned his face, my mind racing with thoughts of the night before. His poor behaviour and the words that had come out of his mouth without a filter. The dim orange light, being mimicked by the sunset now.

Hesitantly, I asked. “Where is the limit, then?” My throat felt so empty and dry, it surprised me that I didn’t stutter. “Did you draw the line at the whiskey and beer or—?”

He cut me off before I could finish, his body rose from the ground. “At the sight of other men holding you,” his voice resonated. I brought my hands to my tights. “I couldn’t stand one more second of that.”

Both of us fell into silence; the song of the waves sang louder around us. There was so much to say, but I just didn’t know where to start. I didn’t want to apologize for what I’d done. Period. But the silence and the image of his eyes growing darker by the second deepened in front of me. He was mad. Hurt, perhaps?

I looked away, finding comfort in the sunset.

Thoughts started piling up, coupled with questions I didn’t know if I wanted to ask. My mind wandered through all of them and I felt like I was lost in a maze, unable to find a way out of the mess we had created around ourselves.

Finally, Carlos broke the silence.

“I know you don’t trust me,” he said and paused. His voice was so deep, almost cracking at the end like his mouth tried to repel that sentence. I’d forgotten about telling him that, but the sad look in his eyes told me he didn’t. He probably remembered the words too brightly and, for the first time, I regretted saying them. “And… I know it’s been hard to have me around,” he leaned his head slightly, eyes dropping to my hands, resting on my tights. My palms started to sweat against the thin fabric of my sundress. His eyes met mine once more, so dark, with a weight sitting heavily above them. “All I can say is that I’m sorry for last night.”

“I—” I couldn't bring myself to say anything; my words were just dumb mumblings, whispers I wasn't sure he could listen to. “Don't—”

If he did listen, he ignored them.

“Also,” his expression was rigid. His eyebrows were drawn together and the deep shadows under them seemed to intensify his gaze. “I'm not going anywhere.” It felt like a promise.

I searched his face for any trace of anger or disappointment but found none. After he spoke, his features softened and a hint of vulnerability pierced through. That subtle hint almost got lost in the firmness of his words. It wouldn’t be fair to shield myself. I shook my head left and right, eyes roaming the sky and the empty bottle of wine, afraid of meeting his. The words disappeared when I thought I had them on the tip of my tongue, the beating of my heart ricocheted inside my heart to the point it seemed unbearable to sustain.

Each word seemed like a corner I was not sure I’d gotten the best line for.

“I didn’t go dance with him to get to you.” was the first thing I brought myself to say. “Maybe I did, in a way. It—” I corrected myself so quickly he didn’t have much time to react. He just nodded, simply nodded. No smile, no… nothing. He just patiently waited. I took a deep breath and cleaned the palms of my hands on my tights. “And the kiss?”

Once again, he frowned.

“I am the same person I was before him. Before he touched me, before he kissed me.” I shrugged. It was simple, in my mind. “Nothing changed with that kiss. But, with you…?” I brought my eyebrows together. How could he not see it? Or feel it? “All it took was to see you. That night, in Mugello… Seeing you…” Words fled again, emotions pilling up inside. “My world shifted in place.”

The air felt heavier, my words weighing down the atmosphere around us but freeing my chest from all the pain. At that moment, I felt myself hovering between two different worlds, blind to reality but too grounded to see ahead. I kept going.

“After all that time, I thought… I thought it was gone. The feelings, the longing… I thought I'd come to terms with the fact that you were no longer a part of my life. But I never did,” I paused, taking a deep breath as I tried to process the emotions running through me. I looked down at my hands, remembering how many times I remembered the night we fell asleep holding hands. How many times I'd wish to have him holding my hand. How many times I’d wished to have him there, just there—under the podium, sitting at the table in the place we'd chosen for him or in the airplane seat we'd booked just in case he could find a way to join us.

The memories hit me like a wave, washing over me with an intensity that I hadn't expected.

“You brought everything back. Good and bad,” I cut off and looked at him, my vision blurred by the tears in my eyes. Rage and pain sided with the fondness I felt for him. “There was no way I could have just kissed you and gone back to living my life like before.”

I hadn't realized Carlos had moved closer until I felt the warmth of his cologne and the weight of his hand on the cushion closer to me. My eyes wandered down to find his big hand next to mine, his fingers not daring to touch my skin. I looked up at him and he opened his mouth to speak, but I quickly raised my hand, asking for just one more second of his attention. His lips closed and his eyes squinted slightly as he waited patiently for me to continue.

My eyes hungrily lingered on his lips, my body fiercely battling against the strong desire to close the distance and kiss him at that very moment. I then looked up again, drawn in by his eyes that seemed to swallow me whole.

"I know it would ruin us if we just kissed.”

And then: silence.

Comfortable, but heavy. I’d let it out. There was nothing holding me back. I’d said it. My mind had finally unravelled itself and God, it felt good. He, though, was still holding everything inside. I could see it in his eyes, searching for mine, almost desperate.

To be honest, I didn’t know what I expected him to say.

But somehow, he knew what I was waiting for.

“Does this make me selfish?” I felt the tingle of his fingertips on my thigh, but I wasn’t able to look anywhere but his eyes. Carlos’ hand travelled up, fingers softly touching my arm, my whole body awakening in response.

“What?” I whispered, my eyes dropping for a second to look at his hand.

He waited for me to look up at him. Then, he answered. “Wanting you this badly.”

I couldn’t bring myself to say or do anything and the mere idea of looking away from him seemed wrong. His gaze held me captive, never leaving mine. Carlos gently took my chin between his thumb and index finger and his eyes darted downwards to my lips.

His thumb traced small circles near my bottom lip, each one coming closer. I could feel the warmth radiating from his touch, making my heart flutter in anticipation. His thumb slid through the extension of my lip, coaxing it open, and I found myself gazing into his eyes, longing for him.

“Eva,” I closed my eyes for a brief moment, my head tilting at the sweet sound that was my name coming out of his mouth. “I don’t care how much I want you, how much I want this,” he stared hungrily at my mouth. I swallowed dry. “I won’t do anything that could taint a moment I’ve been waiting for so long.” He paused. “Years, Eva. I’ve been waiting for years. I can wait a couple more weeks.”

“No,” my hands wrapped around his forearm, holding it in place, reacting against the idea of losing that touch. “Don’t wait any longer,” I heard my own voice, yet it felt distant and unfamiliar.

Something shifted in his eyes. The sensation of his fingertips became warmer, the sensation of his heartbeat against my fingertips became more tangible and all of a sudden, I was more aware of myself and everything he made me feel—the effortless feeling of belonging, the immoral desperation he awakened inside me.

Dear God, how much I needed him.

My lips eagerly accepted his, driven by a need like no other. I needed him like water, like salvation for my desperate soul. The kiss was so gentle, but it still sent ripples of electricity through my body. So slow. Patient. Passionate. I felt my body tremble as his touch swept into my very being—the warmth of his lips and the brush of his tongue, the hands that so quickly travelled to find my waist and pull me closer, the inebriating effect of him. Purely him.

“Are we ruined yet?” He whispered against my lips.

“Not yet,” I felt him smile. My chest imploded on itself. “Kiss me again.”

“Gladly.”

With no hesitation, the distance between us was once again bridged. The intensity grew – his hands moved with urgency, pulling me into his lap, and mine followed suit, mapping a trajectory from his chest, along his shoulders, to the nape of his head and hooking around it, craving the intimacy of his proximity, of his touch.

I felt dizzy with the delight of being lost in his embrace.

And although it seemed like an eternity, one so easy to bear, I could only hope for it to be prolonged even more. Time seemed to stand still and the world around us faded away as I felt his lips tenderly brush against my own again and again. His hands were like a vice, holding me close as his tongue began to explore my body, from my mouth to my neck, tracing his way across my collarbones. His tongue was like velvet against my skin.

When we parted and I looked at him, a newfound intensity shone in his eyes. Carlos held me close, his thumb caressing my cheek softly, his eyes wandering from my eyes to my lips and then back to my eyes again. A gaze so intense, so powerful it could permeate through the barriers of my mind and read my thoughts.

Take me, I wanted to say. Make me yours.

Instead, I begged him in silence, eyes on his, while my fingers cruised towards the neck of his t-shirt and pulled it off in an exasperated attempt to fulfil the wishes I couldn’t bring myself to comprehend.

He was there, flesh and bone; his cologne inebriating me, his lips adoring my skin, his hands taking ownership of my body. But I needed more. As I glimpsed his bare chest, I couldn’t help but reach out and let my fingertips meet the tanned sculpted skin and slide them through it. So warm, almost burning.

Carlos kissed my shoulder, his lips making a trail along my neck and fingers pulling down the strands of the dress, which gracefully fell on my lap. Patiently, his hands traced the curves of my body, stopping when he reached my ass and, groping it, he pressed me against him. I felt my breath catch in my throat as he slowly moved his hand lower to my tights wrapped around him, tracing the curves of my hip, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake.

And then up again, roaming the line of my spine, stopping when his fingers met the string of my bikini. I slid my hair across my left shoulder, halting the golden waves from disturbing him.

His fingers left my back.

The tension of the string lessened.

A cocky smile appeared on his flushed lips.

“Do you want me to stop?” He asked.

“No.”

His eyes sparkled and his tongue wavered on his lips. I moved my hips in his lap, my hands on his biceps and slowly making their way towards his back.

“Neither do I, love. I wanna kiss every single inch of your skin,” he breathed the words on my skin. His lips moved to my neck, tasting me and pushing me further into him; in response, my body quivered and the grip of my fingers on his skin intensified.

The idea of marking his perfectly sculptured back made the arousal in me intensify to new heights; just thinking about it made my hips move on their own. God, how desperate. A moan slid through my lips when I felt him harden under me. He grunted, hands groping my ass and incentivising my movements.

“You smell so good,” I breathed in as his words met the skin of my chest. The faint touch of his nose traced lines on my chest until he stopped in the middle of my breasts. “I bet you taste even better.”

A breath escaped my lips when he eagerly grabbed my breast, slightly groping it before his thumb swiped away the fabric. My chest rose and fell with every brush of his lips against the skin that he so softly kissed. I slid my hands up to his hair after I untied the knot of the bikini at my back and removed my top.

My head fell back, taking in the last light of the day; lips parted, eyes closed. Fingers lost in the soft strands of his hair, holding his face closer to my chest. The waves roaring around us fell into silence as they rocked us into oblivion. From my lips, a whisper escaped —his name, in a way I'd never pronounced it before and my breath hitched when his tongue, moist and warm, reached my nipple. My voice was so light, it felt heavenly in my own ears. The grunt he let out confirmed to me that it had resonated in the same way with him.

“Eva,” I looked down, heart pounding in my chest. He was looking at me, eyes so dark they made me whimper.

“Hm?”

“We can’t do this, cariño. I wasn’t counting on this,” he said, his voice a mix of surprise and pleasure.

His hands, now planted on the small of my back, sent a wave of warmth through me. I tilted my head. The idea of stepping back after feeling his body pressed against mine, after having a glimpse of what it would be like, was too much to bear. Almost incomprensible.

I just shook my head. “I’m—” I stumbled in my words, unable to ignore the feeling of his arousal against me. “We can… work it out, I guess.”

I wanted to explore the urgency and the energy that seemed to control us so effortlessly and find out where it could lead us. My lips met his once more and Carlos offered no resistance. On the contrary – his hands wrapped around my body once again. My own anticipation was building as I moved my hips in circles on his lap; his chest heaving in response.

It was too tempting to resist.

“Joder,” he said softly, his grip on my ass growing tight. “You’re going to make me cum in my trunks if you keep doing that.” His words were filled with a desire that I could feel in every inch of my body as if it was radiating from him.

“Ask me to stop, then.” Don’t. “I will.”

He closed his eyes and his hands moved to my waist, encircling it in a tight embrace as if to keep me still. I wanted him to let me keep going, to let me come on his lap and collapse into his chest. I tilted my head and looked at him, my confusion growing as I studied his countenance. He cupped my face after opening his eyes and I saw within them a myriad of emotions - darkness, strength; an almost lividness.

"I think I might be ruined," he said with a hint of resignation in his voice, but I could also sense an underlying tone of defiance, as if he didn't care what the consequences might be.

The world spun around me as he turned me around, laying my back on the sunbed. He stood as a silhouette against the sunset, his face nothing but intense shadows traced with gold. His lips met mine again and this time it was nothing like before. It was violent and passionate, full of hunger and desire, a wave of lust that swept away everything that was left in my mind.

Our bodies were a mess of passion and desire, too caught up in the moment to truly appreciate what we had. The feelings and emotions that had been stored inside me for so long were now being released, like a raging fire that threatened to consume me whole. The same energy was emanating from him; his hands and lips clung to me with the same intensity I wanted to plunge in myself.

I drowned in the moment, basking in him, his essence, his touch and his voice that spoke so deeply in my ear.

"What should I do to you?" He whispered before biting my earlobe.

“Everything,” I said, my voice a whisper. “Do everything.”

He chuckled softly and his embrace tightened around me, enveloping me in his warmth. I felt his lips gently brush against my neck and then move down to the curve of my shoulder and the swell of my breasts. His hands moved up and down my figure, as if he wanted to remember every curve and line of my body.

A trace of fire seemed to course through the same lines he traced, moving lower and lower. In response, my muscles contracted and goosebumps appeared over my skin. I had to take a deep breath when he reached my belly and his fingers traced small circles there instead of continuing lower.

"Everything, huh?" A husky voice left his lips before he planted a gentle kiss on the sensitive skin of my abdomen. I could feel myself melting into the fabric of the sunbed beneath us, as his fingers explored further and his lips followed behind them slowly. "What about we start with this?" He continued, lust in his eyes as he looked up at me.

I could come from the view alone—his deep brown eyes looking intently into mine; his shoulders pushing my legs further apart and carving a place for himself in the gap between them. The sensation of his beard in between my thighs sent a shiver through my body, the prickly sensation making me succumb to his touch. The way he groaned when my fingers ventured into his hair, pulling on the dark strands the second I felt his fingers inside me.

Each time he looked up, lips glistening with my own pleasure and eyes as dark as I have ever seen them, I thought I was imprisoned in some wet dream.

It was ridiculous the way my body reacted to him.

My hips moved up, trying to get more of the pleasure he was offering me and he promptly responded to my movements and demands; his tongue leaving faster and fingers working inside me as if his only purpose was to please me. God. His persistence made my body tremble and my lips part each time the pleasure metamorphosed itself into moans and whimpers.

In front of me, his torso was elevated and the broad shoulders and torso cast a long shadow over me. All at once, his hands were gone and the emptiness his fingers left behind made me whimper softly. He leaned down, his hand sliding to my neck, thumb pressing lightly against my chin.

“I was right, you know?” With a gentle force, he made me look up at him. “You taste so good.”

When he kissed me, I could feel it in my own mouth. Honey and wine and me. On this man’s lips.

I heard the muffled thud of his trunks hitting the floor and my eyes were immediately drawn to the sight of his aroused state; his erection was a deep crimson and in a state of need. I felt my own desperation rising and tried to press my thighs together in an attempt to quell it. Carlos’ lips curved in a smile and his hand searched for mine, pulling it to his hardness; his large, strong hand enveloping my own, guiding me to provide him with the pleasure he sought. My other hand moved to my own pleasure, my fingers desperately trying to fill the hollow Carlos had left.

“If you only knew how many times I've done this alone,” he said, “thinking of you. Wishing for you.”

His slender fingers entwined with my own, sending a thrill through me as he demonstrated his desire. I felt my own growing with each passing moment, desperation rising inside of me; a deep and primal passion taking hold.

“Please,” my voice elevated itself over his.

"Please, what?" I sighed, my head leaning to the side in a plea. Carlos grabbed my wrist and forced my hand to rest on top of my thigh. "Use your words," he said firmly. "Tell me what you need."

I could feel my body quivering, my need for him tangible. I wanted him. I needed him. I needed to end this longing and this need my body was screaming to get rid of. "I need you," I said softly, my hips moving down to make the need even clearer. He let go of my hands but still stayed close, his pre-cum clammy on my fingers.

"You know what that means," Carlos murmured, his body hovering above me. He supported his weight by placing a hand next to my head.

My eyes pleaded with him. "Carlos, please," I begged. More than anything else, I wanted him to know that this was not a mere request but a desperate plea for him to fill the void I was feeling.

He didn't let me wait for long. In one swift move, he was inside me and I gasped at the sudden pleasure. His hands moved from my waist to my hips, pulling me closer to him and I could feel his length entering me further and further. He was as needy as me.

Slow, steady thrusts that made my body and soul melt into his.

Each movement or brush of the wind against my skin had a different effect on me. Pleasure rose with each passing moment. My hands reached for his shoulder, my nails digging into his flesh, desperate to hold on.

The hoarse moans he let out resonated deep in my bones, fueling my own.

His thrusts became more urgent, pushing a little further each time in a rhythm completely new to me, yet feeling like it had been written in my veins since birth. Pleasure slowly built up until I was sure I couldn't take anymore, until it felt like the desperation rooted deep inside of me was unravelling each seam of my body, longing for escape, for relief. When the moment came, it simultaneously felt like being pulled under the waves and the first breath of fresh air after staying underwater. I felt the tension snap and uncoil slowly like molasses, chipping away at my consciousness until I was light enough to float with the breeze. All I could see were stars, efflorescent in the purple haze of the sky. All I could feel was him, solid and present and only mine in this very moment. I couldn't help but call out his name.

"Just a bit longer, love," he said. "Just need a bit more. Can you take it?"

In response, I just nodded, my eyes still closed, taken by my own bliss. My cries of joy echoed through the night, growing louder and more intense as he continued relentlessly, pushing me closer and closer to the edge of euphoria. I felt like I could come again, the sensations never-ending. With each stroke, I felt myself tremble with pleasure and my breath came in desperate gasps as I tried to keep up with the rhythm of his thrusts.

An emptiness struck me when he pulled away quickly, a whimper escaping my lips at the right instant. I slightly opened my eyes, admiring him in between my lashes. The wistful look on his face, his parted lips, his eyes that didn't leave my body for a second. His fist wrapped around his erection as he jerked himself to completion sending a shot of lust through me.

"God, you're beautiful," he breathed. "So beautiful."

He groaned again, and I felt the heat of his orgasm on my belly. He looked down at it with awe. A smirk painted his lips. Eyes dark with lust.

My fingers gripped his shoulders as he bent his head to kiss me. Our lips touched, once, twice—soft kisses that became more intense, deeper, hungry. His tongue danced with mine, a tango of passion and need. His tongue danced with mine, helpless and desperate. I wrapped my fingers around his back and dug into his skin. A shudder ran through him under my hands. His cock was still between us, stiffening again as he kissed me. The smell of sex and male musk was thick in the air and I couldn't help but feel intoxicated by it.

He pulled back to see my face and caught his breath at the sight of me. A smirk spread across his lips as he rolled off me slowly as if just realizing what we had done. His eyes darkened with lust as he traced the patch of wetness on my belly with his finger.

"What the hell did we just do?"

I felt my heart race at the simple words and my stomach flutter at the intensity of his gaze.

"I believe we just ruined us for good.”

"Oh," he got closer still, pushing me to him and wrapping me in his arms. My body settled comfortably in his embrace, my skin finding warmth in his chest. "Not for good, love; just until we do this again."

I don’t know how much time we spent like that, catching our breaths and allowing the pleasure to slowly dissipate until all that was left was the warmth of his embrace and the sound of the waves crashing against the shell of the boat, but I was sure I could live in that moment forever.

Sooooooooooo, that happened. As always, this is the part where I thank you for all the support and please never stop speaking your mind. I love reading your reactions! And send me questions if you have some!! First (of many) smutty chapters. Hope you enjoyed it.

Happy Easter to those who celebrate! As always, sending you all the love!

[commander-krios]

A Silly Goose

Fandom: Mass Effect Pairing: Kaidan Alenko/Jeff "Joker" Moreau, Female Shepard & Jeff "Joker" Moreau Rating: Teen Summary: Joker doesn't like being second best. Not at flying, and certainly not at extranet games. There is one gamer in particular that's become a thorn in his backside. Now he needs to figure out how to get back to #1 while not embarrassing himself. Unfortunately, failure is Joker's middle name. Words: 4137 Additional Tags: Friendship, Humor, Fluff, Canon Disabled Character, post-ME1, pre-ME2, Everyone Roasts Joker, Cameos by Tali, Garrus and Wrex

This is a treat I made for the @hatboyexchange for @keriweird, @timptoe and grimeypickens on AO3.

Read on AO3

"I'm going to wipe the floor with you, CanadianGoose51!" Jeff Moreau muttered, tracking the man's character through the field, waiting for the perfect moment when he'd enact his revenge. For all of the times he was obliterated on the field, all of the times that Joker was just shy of a win and had it immediately stolen by the Earthborn human. At least, he assumed his enemy was Earthborn by username alone. "Let's hear you quack!"

Lining up his final shot, he knew this was it. He was going to win his first match in months. With a deep breath, he clicked the fire button, only for the shot to go wide and completely miss Canada man's character. "Fuck!"

There was a sudden flash before he was left with nothing but a black screen, a flashing red "Game Over" overlaid on it. There was no fucking way-

Throwing his hands up, Joker almost knocked the keyboard over. He managed to save it at the last second, but his cup wobbled as his elbow bumped it. It tipped over, rolled to the edge of the desk, before a biotic field appeared to save it. The mug floated in the air briefly before being set beside him again. Thankfully, it'd been empty.

With a huff, Joker swiveled his chair around, gaze seeking out the only person who'd understand his pain. 

"What the fuck?! How does he manage to do that?"

"Probably because you don't know the difference between a goose and a duck."

Shepard was resting on the couch in her cabin, with her feet on the seat and a datapad in her hand, and Joker rolled his eyes at her. Best friend or not, she could at least attempt to be supportive. The only person who was worse at this game than him was-

Well, the woman he was staring at now.

"Tomato, Tamato. It's a bird either way, right?"

"Didn't you grow up on a farm?" She asked, shaking her head almost as if she questioned his sanity. To be fair, she did question him most days, but that was usually in regards to him flying in insane maneuvers to save them from dying a fiery death. She could be a little grateful for him, after all. "You know what, I don't care. I can't take a man who names himself 'HotShotPilot69' on the extranet seriously."

“Hey! It was from my flight school days." And it was still accurate. "Can you take five minutes away from making fun of me and help?"

Shepard grinned at him, enjoying every moment of this torture because apparently she was all out of entertainment for the day. "Help? Where would the fun be in that? I love watching him kick your ass. In fact, if I could figure out who he is, I'd give him a medal for being one of the only two people in the galaxy to take your ass down a peg."

Joker grumbled, turning back to the terminal, hoping that ignoring her might finally shut her up. Maybe there was someone else who might help him with this. Did Tali play games? He knew she was good with tech, loved watching some cheesy soap opera type vids, but extranet games? What did quarians do when they weren't on their pilgrimages? 

"I can see you using that brain of yours, Joker." Shepard said, interrupting his train of thought. He shot a glare at her, a warning even though he knew he couldn't do shit, and she laughed in response. "Don't burn yourself out. It's really not that serious."

Maybe to her it wasn't, but his pride was on the line. Before CanadianGoose51 came onto the scene, Joker had been ranked number 1 in N7 Code of Honor: Medal of Duty. Now, he was second and the hell would he let that go without a fight. 

"Mock me all you want, Commander-"

"Oh, I will."

He ignored her interruption, intent on somehow winning this battle of wits between them. "But I plan on experiencing the glory of being the best once again. No one with the name 'Canadian Goose' is going to beat me at my favorite game."

She raised an eyebrow at him, a smile tugging at her lips. "It's an extranet game, Joker."

"It's more than that, Shepard. As if you'd understand anyway. You have stupid hobbies." He waved at the datapad in her hand and all she did was let out a snort.

"I'm reading. Or at least I was before you threw your tantrum."

"Ew. You read reports all day and your idea of fun is more reading?" Shutting down the terminal, he turned back to her in his swivel chair, waiting for her to tease him some more. Apparently, the only pastime she liked more than reading was roasting him alive.

"Are you jealous because you can't read, Joker?"

With a rude gesture, Joker got to his feet, feeling a little unsteady after sitting for so long. "Laugh it up, Shepard. You'll be eating your words soon enough."

As he turned to head back to the door, planning on getting in a shower and decompressing, Shepard piped up from behind him. "Are you sure you want to kick CanadianGoose51's ass? Because it sounds like you want to be him instead." 

Joker didn't respond, refusing to rise to her bait. He shuffled to the stairs, grabbing hold of the handrail to make sure he didn't trip on the way up. 

"Or maybe I'm reading this wrong, Jeff. Maybe, someone has a crush and doesn't know how to process it."

Ridiculous. He didn't even know who was on the other end of the extranet link and even if he did, no way he'd have any type of feelings past disdain for someone so obviously cheating to win. No, he was going to go back up against the Goose and he was going to beat them. Even if it took everything he had, he wasn't going to let it go until he won.

~~~~

The next morning, before he had to report to the helm, Joker found Tali'zorah sitting at the table in the mess hall, datapad in hand. There was a tube of that dextro-paste sitting beside her, half eaten and forgotten. He wasn't sure what she was busy doing, maybe finishing things involving her pilgrimage. If that was so, then she was probably nearly ready to return to her people. When she finally left, he was going to miss her. She was one of his favorite people on this damned ship. 

Sliding into the chair across from her, Joker tapped his fingers on the table, trying to glance at what was on her screen. "Whatcha working on?"

The quarian glanced up, her eyes shining through her faceplate. He could almost feel the judgment even if he couldn't see the expression on her face. "I would explain the inner workings of a geth's core processor, but I doubt you'd stay awake longer than the first sentence.”

Throwing his hands up as in defense, the pilot tried to look as innocent as he could, knowing that Tali wouldn't believe a word out of his mouth either way. "Hey, I'm just making sure you aren't sneaking in vids between movie nights. I've been waiting for months to see Bloody Mary. I know how hard it is to resist the allure of vampires and all, but you can't leave me hanging like that."

Especially when he'd be losing his movie buddy in a few short weeks.

"I thought we were watching Krantt Hardly Wait." She shook her head, letting out a noise that sounded suspiciously like a sigh. "That's not why you're here. Keelah, you're a bad liar."

"I resent that. I’m an excellent liar.”

“Joker-”

“Fine.” He shifted slightly, trying to find a comfortable position. It was difficult when he spent most of his days sitting in the pilot's chair and the times when he was on his feet were done with excruciating pain. Tugging on his hat, Joker tried his best to appear nonchalant. "I had some techy questions for you. In regards to combat."

Tali straightened, obviously interested in the change in topic. "I can't say I have much experience in combat strategy, minus the obvious geth incursions, but I'll help where I can. What did you want to know?"

"You use a shotgun, right? How do you manage to use your tech while firing? I'm having troub- err, I mean, I've always been interested in knowing how combat and tech can work together."

Tali was silent, studying him... Or maybe just thinking about her answer. Joker couldn't tell with the dark visor covering her face. She was always difficult to read because of it. Usually, he had no reason to worry, he'd always been upfront with her about what he needed and she was the same with him. But now, his skin felt flushed, almost like he was on the verge of sweating, his heart hammering in his chest at an unnatural rhythm. Nerves, anxiety, whatever it was, he wanted to flee from her glowing stare, or to argue so she wouldn't see through his lies. 

"Hmm." She tapped her an appendage against the datapad, bringing up some sort of chart before sliding it to him. "This is what I use when I'm in the field. A shield generator capable of omitting frequent bursts of energy if an enemy gets too close. It doesn't last forever and a point blank blast can almost always disable it, but it's good for a temporary solution. If you use a close range weapon, like a shotgun, it can keep you safe for a brief time."

The schematics were all gibberish to him, most of it written in quarian jargon or some type of tech lingo. Joker was good with flying and all manner of ships and their systems, but combat tech was an entirely different world. He'd have to research what it all meant, of course, but he could start here. Increasing his character’s shield output and finding a way to get close might be the thing he needed to defeat the Goose.

With a grateful smile, Joker took a moment to copy it to his own datapad, earmarking a few things he might want to follow up on before finding his feet. "Thanks for the help, Tali."

"If you have questions, I can talk about shields and tech all day." Tali teased him, a smile in her voice. He nodded, turning to head over to the coffee pot, hoping the machine wasn't full of Shepard's sorry excuse for coffee, when the quarian continued. "And Joker, good luck with your extranet game."

His cheeks flared red as he shuffled away, mumbling a thanks under his breath and trying to save his dignity by not tripping over his feet.

~~~~

Garrus was working on the Mako... again. He was always working on something: the tank, the battery, the Normandy's cannons, tinkering with the armory of sniper rifles. Either he was an overachiever or just enjoyed being overworked. Joker wasn't entirely sure if that was part of being a turian or if it was who Garrus Vakarian was, but he was exhausted watching him work so damned much.

Leaning heavily on his crutches, Joker stared at the bony legs sticking out from beneath the IVF, the only sound that of an omnitool combined with the clicking noise of some sort of tool hitting the undercarriage of the tank. He didn't know what the turian was up to, but most likely, Shepard was going to have to force him to stop whatever it was and get some rest.

In the meantime, however...

"What the hell are you doing?"

Garrus jumped at the intrusion, smacking his head into the undercarriage before letting out a low whine. Sliding out from under the tank, he was already rubbing his plates with a talon. Joker was greeted with a beady blue eyed glare in response.

"Hm. Didn't know turians scared easily."

"We don't."

"Whatever you say, Vakarian." Joker leaned on the railing next to the Mako, grateful for something that could hold him up that wasn't his own body. With a grin, he leaned forward slightly, meeting Garrus's glare with no fear. "You know, if you're such a scaredy cat, you can use that stick up your ass as a weapon."

"Ha ha." Garrus intoned, sitting up and rubbing his face again, stretching his mandibles in either annoyance or pain. Could've been both, but Joker didn't know much about turian facial expressions. If Shepard was here- 

No, he was mad at her. He didn't need her help anyway.

"Any particular reason you're staring at me, Joker?" Garrus asked, finally getting to his feet, closing the omnitool before reaching up to adjust his visor. The orange glow receded, leaving them in the light of the dull white from above, casting shadows along the metal flooring. "I know humans have a tendency to find turians attractive, but you never struck me as the type."

Joker couldn't help it, he blushed from the tips of his ears down to his toes. He didn't- there was no way. There was nothing about Garrus he could possibly find attractive. He reminded him too much of Shepard at times. Then there was the stick that lived up his ass. No, the only thing that Garrus ignited in him was a desire to poke fun at him.

"No!" The denial burst from his mouth, completely embarrassing him as much as his red cheeks did. "I like the asari, blue and beautiful, and you know, with five fingers."

Garrus clicked his mandibles together.

What the fuck did that mean? Sir Isaac Newton, this was a mistake.

"I'll let Liara know of your interest then."

Fucking hell, this needed to end. "No, that's alright. You don't need to do or say anything. I was looking for you for... non-romance reasons." Clearing his throat, he glanced around the shuttle bay, hoping to find anything to distract himself with. The sight of the armory lockers gave him a sudden idea. "Uh, sniper rifles."

"Sniper rifles?"

"I was wondering if you could show me the best way to hit your target. Tricks, tips."

"That so?"

"Maybe a demonstration? I was interested in learning how a rifle works. Just in case."

That was the stupidest fucking excuse he might've come up with yet.

Garrus cocked his head slightly, watching Joker with a piercing gaze that definitely saw through his bullshit. "Are you sure this isn't some sort of romance thing? Because, if so-"

With a sigh and another burst of color along his cheeks, Joker tried not to choke on the words as he forced them out, panic making it difficult to do anything that didn't include fleeing. This sort of thing was why he was only friends with a handful of people. "Stop saying that. If you don't want to help-"

"I didn't say that." Garrus countered, replacing his wrench to the toolbox at his feet. When he straightened up, he met Joker's gaze, searching for something, but thankfully decided to stop teasing him. "Let me clean this up and I can explain the particulars."

Yeah, he was going to regret this.

~~~~

He was an idiot.

After the embarrassing interactions with Tali and Garrus, he'd hoped he could find someone who had any idea how to help him with his Goose problem. Tali's shield trick and Garrus's scope training would only do so much and despite it only being for a video game, he truly didn't want to embarrass himself anymore. Not in the game or outside of it.

So who did he decide to ask?

Fucking Urdnot Wrex.

Asking a krogan for help was only going to end one of two ways: Every single bone in his body was going to end up broken, crushed beneath enormously strong hands. Or, Joker was going to end up dead from Wrex's 'help'.  Neither option sat particularly well with him.

Yet, despite all of that, Joker sat in front of Wrex as the krogan cleaned his shotgun, watching with perverse fascination as the krogan gently lifted the weapon, cradling it as if it was a newborn child in need of extra care. He was positive that krogan didn't treat their legitimate young as kindly as Wrex treated his gun.

"So, whelp, what did you need help with?" Wrex kept a singular blood red eye on Joker even as he cleaned the gun.

"I need help... with a guy." Joker said, evasively, trying to figure out how offended Wrex would be if he flat out asked for help with an extranet game. He'd never seen the krogan laugh, or really be affectionate with anyone but Shepard. He didn't know how far he could push before he ended up as a human pancake on the floor of the ship.

"Killing him?" Wrex asked, tossing the rag he'd been using on the bench before inspecting his weapon. "My favorite part is the killing."

I know, Joker thought, casting his gaze around for any sign of another person. He wasn't picky at this point. He'd gladly take Garrus's teasing again if it meant he didn't need to have this conversation at all. Garrus might even be able to distract Wrex so he could sneak away, hide until the krogan forgot he'd ask him for anything-

"You humans think too much."

Joker realized silence had fallen between them and he awkwardly swung his feet, the stool he sat on shaking with the movement. "Yeah, we do. Look, Wrex-"

"Human."

Joker ignored the implied insult. "I don't want to kill anyone. I need to beat him at his own game." 

Wrex stared at him, in some sort of aggressive confusion. "Is this some stupid human idiot?"

"Idiom." Joker corrected automatically and Wrex's nostrils flared at that. He wondered if he'd be able to make it to the elevator before Wrex reached him. "It doesn't matter. I just need to know a good place to hit someone to take them down easily."

"The quad."

"Yes, that tends to work on most species." Joker said, trying not to let a sigh slip out. "I meant other places. Fleshy places that might bring a human down."

Wrex chuckled, dark and deep, and it sounded like a threat. "No place easier than the dangly bits, kid. Hit 'em where it hurts and hit 'em hard."

Joker figured it wasn't a bad option. He wasn't sure if he could apply it in a video game, however.

"Thanks for the help, Wrex."

"Anytime, kid."

~~~~

"I can't believe you asked Wrex for help." Shepard said, holding her sides as she laughed, not even noticing the glare that Joker sent her. Though, if she did, she would've just ignored it and laughed some more. "What did he say when you told him you didn't want to kill anyone?"

Joker grumbled under his breath, easily keeping pace with Shepard since she could barely walk with how she laughed. "We aren't friends anymore."

"Oh, come on, Jeff. You did this to yourself." She glanced at him with a smile. "If you'd just asked me-"

"You would've found more reasons to make fun of me."

"Yes, but I also would have helped you. I know someone else who plays this game and they're pretty good."

"Yeah, right. No one is better than me."

She raised an eyebrow at him and he promptly shut his mouth. Oh, right. The entire reason for this charade was because somebody was better than him. He didn't respond, only stared ahead as they got to the elevator that would take them to the mess hall. 

"You don't believe me." She said once the door shut behind them, the ship nearly silent in the tiny elevator shaft. It was always eerie how quiet it got once those thick doors closed.

"I never said that."

She snorted, undignified and all. "You don't have to. I can see it written on your face."

"Stop reading my face."

Shepard rolled her eyes, leaning against the wall of the elevator with her arms crossed over her chest. "You get so grumpy when you're embarrassed. Will you just let me help you?"

He resisted the urge to snap at her, to tell her to mind her business, that she'd done enough to 'help' him in recent months. Instead, knowing that he was going to regret trusting her, Joker nodded, refusing to look directly at her. If he did and she gave him even the smallest twitch of a smile, he might lose his nerve and just space himself. The doors opened to the mess hall, the wide open space empty except for Kaidan and Dr. Chakwas. Kaidan was sitting at the table, a coffee and simple breakfast laid out next to a report he was working on. 

The good doctor gave them a nod as he and Shepard entered, raising her mug of tea in greeting before disappearing into her office. Walking to the large dining table, Shepard lifted herself onto it, sitting cross legged across from where Kaidan ate, peering over at the report he was writing.

"Hey, Kai. Do you think you could help our friend here with something?"

"I'd love to, but I'm a bit busy at the moment." He waved at the log next to him. Rows and rows of armory items with marine assignments next to the ones that'd been given out. Boring as hell paperwork. Then again, most paperwork was boring.

"This is more important than equipment inspections, LT."

"Hackett might think differently, Commander."

"And he's perfectly allowed to do so as long as he stops bothering me." Shepard nudged the portable terminal towards him, a sly smirk on her face. "I have more fun things for us to discuss."

Joker didn't like the look on her face and he realized he'd walked into a trap. This had been her plan all along. To get him and Kaidan alone... Gods, how stupid was he?

"Do you still play that N7 game?" 

"N7 Code of Honor: Medal of Duty?" Kaidan took a sip of his coffee, dark eyes glancing in Joker's direction briefly before returning to Shepard. 

"Yeah. Our hot shot pilot here needs some pointers on how to beat this guy who keeps kicking his ass. I remember how good you were when we used to play." Shepard leaned back, placing her hands on the table behind her, a satisfied smirk on her face. "What do you say to being Joker's mentor?"

Kaidan glanced at him shyly and Joker swore there was a light dusting of pink on his cheeks. "I have a lot of work to do, Shepard. Maybe another time."

"Oh, come on, Kaidan! You're such a silly goose!" Shepard glanced in Joker's direction and it hit him like a skycar. This... no...

Kaidan's blush only darkened and he buried his face in his hands. 

Shit.

"You're CanadianGoose51!" The words burst from him before he could stop them and he felt like his world just tilted beneath his feet. Scrambling to reach for a chair, he found that Shepard had already pushed one out for him to sit in. 

Kaidan dropped his hands to the table, grimacing at the mention of his username. "Please don't spread that around. I'd rather people didn't know."

"You're... amazing! And infuriating!" Joker stared at the biotic in front of him, finding it hard to believe that this quiet and kind man was the one destroying him in a damned game. He might even be a little in love. "How many hours have you logged?"

"Too many." Kaidan looked like he wanted the ground to open up and swallow him. "Joker, if I'd known you were HotShotPilot, I wouldn't have gone so hard on you."

"Why? You think I can't beat you on my own?" Joker wanted to be angry about that, but nothing Kaidan did was to purposely hurt someone. He was too fucking nice.

Kaidan met his gaze. Joker didn't know what he saw when he looked at him, but he wasn't angry anymore. Not if it was Kaidan winning the matches. 

"If you think I'm going to let you give me a win, you've got another thing coming. We're going to have a rematch and I'll wipe the floor with you. I'm going to make you whimper like a baby."

Shepard coughed, covering her mouth with her hand, but he heard what she was trying to hide easily. "You'd like that."

The back of Joker's neck flared with embarrassment, but Kaidan didn't seem to hear her. He only smiled, a devious twinkle in his eyes that made Joker's stomach tie up in knots. "It's a date then."

He didn't know why that sounded so good, but Joker was actually looking forward to it.

[use-your-telescope]

When Everything's Made to be Broken - Chapter 16: We Don't Know What We're Doing

Summary: Amidst the day to day, Theo and Loki continue to learn new things about each other, including some interesting details about how they view relationships.

Author’s Note: First, I am so sorry this is so late!! I had planned to post on the 28th, but I ended up having some (good) things come up that took up my weekend and meant I didn’t have time to get this to a point I felt was ready to post. I foolishly thought I could have it ready by Tuesday, then by Friday, then Sunday, then accepted my fate and admitted I just wouldn’t have time until this weekend to get this chapter wrapped up and posted (shoutout to a work trip last weekend for making this take an extra week!) I shared a note about the delay on tumblr, but figured I’d share it here so I’m covering my bases.

That being said, spring is a crazy time for me work-wise, plus I’m finishing my second master’s degree this semester (after a two year hiatus!), so this will probably not be the only time things get a bit delayed. I’m pretty sure I will have the next chapter ready for next Sunday (the 24th), but the week after that has some work stuff going on, which means the following chapter would be posted on March 9th. Anyways, thanks for your patience, and hope you enjoy <3 reblogs are always appreciated, and lmk if you want to be added to tag list!

Word Count: 6,789

Song: Amateur Lovers - Switchfoot (Bonus Song: Passing Through A Screen Door - The Wonder Years)

Everyone I know Needs love like drugs Like a common cold We could never shrug My baby and me We're missing the same stuff We've all got a disease Deficiency of love Every day we still try Every night we still cry Driving home on the 805

Months after Theo first promised Loki that she would hang out with the other Avengers, she could not deny the truth: Loki, the little shit, was right.

Unintentionally agreeing to “family night” opened the floodgates of invitations to hang out, and other than the period of time where everyone’s moods plummeted from the string of unpleasant anniversaries, Theo found herself becoming more and more fond of the colorful collection of superheroes that she lived with, and it seemed like they accepted her with open arms.

Even worse, Loki was right and he knew it.

Every time Theo caught him watching as Wanda braided her hair or Yelena talked her into trying (and absolutely sucking at) Call of Duty, Loki cocked an eyebrow and shot Theo the most smug, self-satisfied smirk. When he wandered into the lab and stumbled upon Theo and Helen working on new medical technology with Bruce and Shuri, a downright devious glint flashed in his jade eyes, and his jaw flexed as if he bit back some snarky comment about Theo’s voluntary presence. When they went out as a team and it came to light that Natasha had done Theo’s makeup, Loki bit his lower lip to stifle a snicker. 

On that night, Theo had just finished up working in the emergency department; after showering and changing into an old set of Duke sweatpants and a shirt she stole from Chris the last time she stayed at his apartment, Theo made her way out to the living room with a book in hand.

The sight that greeted her was one she often found at the end of the day: Sam, Bucky, Yelena, Natasha, and Steve sprawled out on some of the more comfortable seating options, clad in sweatpants and worn t-shirts after what was likely a long day of training and briefings. A video game that Theo vaguely recognized, but not enough to identify, broadcast itself from the television screen, displaying a mix of desolate space-esque scenarios and scifi combat. 

Sam sat on the edge of the couch cushions, leaned in towards the television screen with a video game controller clutched in both hands, focusing so intently on the screen that he stuck a bit of his tongue out as he mashed buttons on the controller. 

On another couch sat Yelena and Natasha, with Bucky sandwiched between the two widows. Yelena and Bucky alternated between shoving fistfuls of popcorn into their mouths and shouting at the television as an explosion flashed on the screen, while Natasha sat with her legs curled up under her, sipping a glass of merlot as she occasionally teased Sam about dying in the game.

“Theo, hey,” Steve waved from the other side of the living room, where he stretched across on the couch with sock-covered feet propped up on the coffee table. 

“Hey,” Theo waved as she took her usual seat, curling into the corner of the couch. “So, which game is this?”

“Halo–” Yelena replied between mouthfuls of popcorn, “— Genetically enhanced super soldiers fighting aliens.”

“I thought the point of playing video games was to take a break from reality…” Theo glanced around the room. “How is ‘genetically enhanced super soldiers fighting aliens’ any different from what we already do?” 

“It’s fictional.” Yelena shrugged, despite the knowing grin she wore.

“Hey, bird brain, don’t you have something to ask Theo?” Bucky threw a piece of popcorn at Sam, bouncing a fluffy kernel off Sam’s head; Sam scowled, but kept his eyes on the screen.

“Ask me what?” Theo glanced between the others expectantly, her pulse quickening ever so slightly. 

They must have been talking about her… But why? 

“Fuck! I was so close!” Sam groaned as a message flashed across the television screen stating his team lost. He tossed the controller at Bucky, who effortlessly caught it in his non-vibranium hand. “You try.”

“Is anyone going to tell me what I’m supposed to be asked about?” Theo repeated, her chest tightening as she tried to guess what they wanted. She couldn’t think of anything that she did recently to raise any suspicions, and the way Bucky brought it up made it sound like it wasn’t anything serious…

“Dammit Buck, I was gonna ask her when it was just the two of us.” Sam glared at Bucky, who was too busy setting up the next round of whatever shooting game they had decided on for that night.

“Okay, now I’m just getting nervous.” Theo tried to laugh it off, but it didn’t do much to cover up her ballooning nerves.

“Nah, don’t be - I just need advice… ” Sam rubbed his face with both hands, conveniently hiding any clues Theo might have gathered from his expression. “... Dating advice.”

“Dating advice?” Theo’s brows shot skyward as she echoed Sam’s message back to him. 

“Yeah. There’s a hot doc that you work with, and I want to see if she’s interested.”

Well, that certainly changed things.

Theo struggled to keep her cool, cheeks and jaw tensing to prevent a grin from curling up her lips... 

.. What were the odds that Sam shared Julie’s crush?

“Thing is, the only way I ever run into her is when I need to get patched up —“ Sam continued, “— not exactly great for getting to know each other...”

“… So you want my help getting close to her?” Theo ventured, her mind running wild with possibilities. “Who is it?!”

“Oh hell no, I’m not telling!” Sam laughed sheepishly, “Not until I know if she’s interested too!”

“How can I help if I don’t know who it is?” Theo pointed out, “it’s not like all doctors are the same! What works for Julie won’t work for Helen!” 

If Theo didn’t know any better, she swore she saw Sam’s cheeks flush at Julie’s name; then again, that might have been in her head.

“Watch him when he’s in the ER,” Bucky commented, not missing a beat even as all of his attention seemed focused on the video game. “You'll know in two seconds.”

“As much as I don’t want you to need to go to the ER, now I’m curious - maybe we can beat you up a bit during training so you need to pay a visit.” Theo teased, smirking at Sam. Yelena laughed, offering to beat him up, while Natasha and Steve exchanged knowing glances.

“Not you too–” Sam groaned, before pointing at Yelena and Bucky. “ – that’s the same thing these assholes recommended!” 

“Because it’s good advice!” Yelena huffed, crossing her arms. “You want to see her? That’s how!” 

“Oh come on, you really think that’s my advice?! I’m not that terrible,” Theo scoffed, feigning offense. “My first piece of advice would be to talk to her and see what she likes outside of work, then figure out a way to ask her to hang out and do something she enjoys. But unless you tell me who it is, you’re going to need to work up the courage to stop by the ED specifically to talk to her, or you’ll have to wait until you actually have a reason to get patched up.”

Sam let out a sharp breath, shoulders slumping as he narrowed his eyes at Theo. “And if I tell you?”

“Maybe I can help — invite them over when we do a movie night or something,” Theo offered, this time not bothering to hide her smile. After all, Theo was not above a quid pro quo - she gets to satisfy her curiosity, and Sam gets a chance to talk to whoever he’s crushing on. Win-win, really.

Sam narrowed his eyes at Theo. “… Let me think about it.” 

Theo stood up and stretched her arms overhead; since it seemed like Sam had put an end to the conversation, it was as good of a moment as any to step away for a moment and get herself some water. As she sauntered towards the kitchen, she called over her shoulder: “Your choice, but it doesn’t have to be hard!”

Conversation continued among the others as Theo entered the kitchen, voices laughing and chattering over each other so Theo couldn’t make out what anyone said. 

Theo moved on autopilot as she found a glass and added some ice from the freezer, mind spinning as she tried to recall any details from past interactions that would help her figure out which of her colleagues caught Sam’s eye. Even as she moved to the sink to fill her glass, her thoughts remained so occupied with the new mystery that she barely paid her surroundings any mind.

“You feared the Avengers would never trust you, yet Wilson trusts you enough to seek your guidance in matters of the heart; I dare say that your concerns were unfounded.” A low voice spoke from just behind Theo — a smooth baritone that she recognized anywhere, even if it startled her so badly that she dropped her glass and nearly jumped through the ceiling from shock.

A flash of emerald shot forth. Loki caught the glass just before it clattered into the sink, all the while failing to stifle his laughter at the string of curses that fell from Theo’s mouth.

“Can’t you just say hi like a normal person?!” Theo pressed one hand to her heart in a feeble attempt to settle her racing heart, all the while glaring at Loki.

“When such amusement is a possibility? Absolutely not.” Loki grinned, offering Theo her water glass. She snatched it from him, taking a quick drink of water before turning back to the sink and topping it off.

For a moment, Theo considered finding some way to fuck with Loki so he couldn’t gloat so much, but after Loki had a difficult month (between the shitty anniversaries and Thor nearly dying, calling it difficult was probably an understatement), Loki needed the chance to loosen up and laugh. Besides, he was the first friend Theo made when she moved into the tower, and even if she wouldn’t admit it outright, Theo was grateful that Loki had been right. 

So, she simply rolled her eyes and smiled. 

“You’ve not responded to my original comment,” Loki pointed out, smug satisfaction dancing in his tone.

“Sam’s interested in one of my colleagues,” Theo attempted to brush off Loki’s observation, her cheeks burning as they undoubtedly flushed.

“I heard…” Loki leaned back against the kitchen counter, a lazy smile dangling on his lips as he looked at Theo. “Still, he trusts you.”

“Not enough to tell me who it is,” Theo grumbled,  setting her water glass on the marble counter as she pretended to pout so she could cross her arms. “How long were you lurking there?”

“Long enough,” Loki simply shrugged, eyes twinkling from the reflection of the kitchen lights as he looked at Theo. “The exchange reminded me - are you still courting your gentleman caller?” 

Theo couldn’t stifle the snort of laughter that escaped from Loki’s unironic use of the term “gentleman caller;” she slapped both hands over her mouth, entire face now aflame with embarrassment from the ridiculous sound.

Loki tilted his head at Theo’s reaction, brows furrowed in a silent question. 

“Am I supposed to ignore the fact that you just used the term gentleman caller?” Theo finally managed, still chuckling as she repeated the term.

“Is there another term I ought to use?” Despite the neutral tone of Loki’s reply, his cheeks took on a faint shade of pink that stood out against his porcelain skin. “Or am I to presume you are no longer courting him?”

“I’m still seeing him, but I don’t think that ‘gentleman callers’ exist in modern day dating,” Theo couldn’t wipe the smile off her face from hearing the term in daily conversation. “Feminism and all that.”

“Ah, yes, forgive me.” The flush on Loki’s cheeks grew more noticeable. “Nonetheless, you are still courting him?”

“Yeah,” Theo nodded. “Why?”

“You’ve not spoken of him in quite some time.” Loki shrugged; the gesture looked like an attempt to be nonchalant, which matched his tone, but something about the movement seemed a bit… forced.

“You were busy supporting Thor, and I was busy supporting you, so it didn’t seem like the thing to discuss at the time.” Theo offered a sheepish smile as she explained her reasoning. “Besides, it’s nothing serious.”

In response, Loki leaned away ever-so-slightly, narrowing his eyes with a slight frown as he studied Theo.

“What?” Theo tensed as heart quickened in her chest, confused by Loki’s reaction.

“Midgardians often speak of love at first sight; after quite some time, your feelings for the actor seem ambivalent at best, yet you continue to court him,” Loki remarked slowly, continuing to look at her with a perplexed expression. “It’s rather odd.”

Odd - with a silent sigh of relief, Theo relaxed, her shoulders dropping ever so slightly. 

“I don’t believe in love at first sight – that’s lust,” Theo winked, shaking her head. “We’re just having fun and enjoying each other’s company, that’s all.”

“I see,” with a nod, Loki hummed to himself. “Do you foresee the relationship turning into something greater?”

“I don’t know,” Theo shrugged. “Never gave it much thought, if I’m honest.”

As she answered the question, a thought occurred to her: Loki asked about her dating life, but Theo never asked about his… 

“Speaking of dating, did I see you bring someone up to your suite after Stark’s fundraiser a few months back?” Theo cocked a brow at him, a sly grin spread over her face. “What’s going on there?”

“Rest assured, I’ve not kept any partners from you,” Loki replied with a smirk of his own. “I am… not one for attachment, shall we say.”

“So she was a booty call?” Theo giggled, earning a venomously dirty look from Loki. “Well, what would you call it?”

“I prefer to have companions for a single evening,” Loki dryly answered, a pale pink blush returning to his cheeks. “It’s less complicated that way.”

“Is that so?” Theo teased, her grin widening to the point that her cheeks hurt as Loki’s blush grew brighter.

“Yes –” Loki’s explanation took on an edge of defensiveness as his expression teetered on the verge of a scowl.  “It’s not as uncommon as you might think, particularly among our peers.”

Theo barely managed to keep a straight face, all-too-amused by how quickly Loki became flustered.

“Civilians do not understand the nature of our roles, so relationships that are not between two agents or established prior to one becoming an Avenger are practically doomed from the start,”  Loki continued. “Having seen the effect of those failed relationships on others, I have chosen to refrain from courting anyone.”

Theo’s stomach lurched at the observation, her prior amusement vanishing in an instant. She quickly grabbed her water glass, taking a long sip of chilled liquid to ground herself before the implications could make her spiral.

“That being said, physical desire is a near-universal experience, or a need, if you will—” If Theo’s expression shifted, Loki must not have noticed; the usual glint of something clever returned to his eye, as did a wry smirk. “—And sometimes our needs… Well… They need to be satiated.”

“Can’t fault you there.” Theo covered up her discomfort from Loki’s earlier comment with a smirk and a wink of her own. She started towards the living room, glancing back at Loki over her shoulder. “Some of us are hanging out in the living room. You want to join?”

Loki nodded, pressing away from the counter and following Theo into the living room. 

Amidst a chorus of greetings directed at Loki, Theo took her usual seat, but this time stretched her legs out across the cushions so there wasn’t room for anyone else to sit. She looked up and grinned at Loki, who stood in front of the couch like he was about to take his usual place beside her.

With narrowed eyes flitting between the seat and Theo, Loki arched one brow in a silent challenge. Theo simply widened her grin, curious to see what would follow.

To Theo’s surprise, Loki didn’t say anything; instead, he picked up both of Theo’s legs, moving them out of the way so he could sit down; once he settled into his seat, he placed both of Theo’s feet on his lap, as a result returning Theo to her initial position. He capped off the response by flashing an impish grin at Theo, a sort of silent taunt - “you thought you could try me? Foolish mortal.” 

Other than a suspicious glance exchanged between the widows, it didn’t seem like anyone even noticed the exchange between Loki and Theo.

Despite Theo’s playful behavior, Loki’s comment about relationships doomed from the start lurked in the dark recesses of her mind, no matter how hard she tried to ignore it. Even as she forced herself to pay attention while Sam and Bucky explained the rules of the particular type of Halo match they selected for the evening, Theo couldn’t shake the vague uneasiness that the comment initially instilled within her. 

A good night text from Chris, something which usually made Theo’s heart flutter in her chest, instead filled her with dread. However, Theo kept her discomfort close to her chest, acting like nothing was amiss as she replied to Chris, wishing him a good night. When Theo returned her attention back to her friends, she tucked her concern away behind carefully crafted smiles and quick-witted comments with such practiced ease that it should have been concerning. 

Only when she had retreated to the privacy of her suite, after turning out the lights and tucking herself beneath her thick, plush comforter, did she allow the matter to crawl out from the shadows and capture her attention. 

When Theo accepted the offer to go on a date, she hadn’t even considered that the difference in careers/experiences would influence their relationship, or the special considerations that she needed to make. Given her career as a doctor, she was used to missing holidays, birthdays, and special occasions because of work. Chris had, up to that point, seemed perfectly fine with that. With healthcare privacy laws, it wasn’t odd for Theo to avoid talking about work with other people, and that naturally flowed into her relationships, another thing that Chris never seemed to mind. He didn’t care that she never brought him up to her suite, and that they always stayed at his apartment. 

Maybe she was overthinking it - they never said anything about getting serious. Besides, she didn’t know the circumstances of the failed relationships that Loki referred to. Other factors could have impacted those relationships. 

Still, the idea of Chris inevitably being hurt because of Theo’s lack of foresight left a bitter taste in her mouth. The last thing Theo needed was to hurt anyone else, but time and time again she made the same mistakes, and innocent people were caught in the crossfire.

Staring up at her ceiling, Theo drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Up until that night, she had no reason to worry about the future with Chris. He hadn’t made any indication that he wanted to pursue a long-term relationship. At that point, they were more of a situationship than anything - they didn’t change their lives for each other, they simply saw each other when it was convenient. That was okay. Theo was fine with that. 

Hopefully Chris was alright with that as well.

You tried to play it down But it never stuck I tried to bail this town I'm getting no such luck, yeah When nobody's around I keep my eyes on the clock There ain't a cure I've found In all my times around this block Every day we still try Every night we still cry We’re driving home on the 405

Between the overly loud sounds that Midgardians called music, the throngs of sweaty people, and the sharp stench of alcohol, Loki vehemently regretted allowing Maximoff to convince him to partake in this particular outing.

One of the local bars, the Hi-Lo, hosted an event they decided to call “Emo Night.” Maximoff’s explanation of “Emo Night” conveniently omitted that the “music” was far too loud and the quality of “singing” was questionable at best. Quite frankly, the quality of the scratchy, sometimes guttural noise could hardly be classified as singing, yet the people around them “danced” all the same - that was, if one could call shoving each other about in a sweaty horde dancing. 

Theo informed him the correct term was “moshing,” but Loki felt “barbaric stumbling” would be more appropriate. 

Some of their entourage seemed right at home. After freeing himself from the Winter Soldier’s programming, Barnes had grown fond of the loud and angsty racket. Maximoff had a penchant for live music, though this escapade made Loki question how the Scarlet Witch defined music. Though Wilson did not seem invested in the performance, he seemed quite comfortable with the strange cacophony – particularly strange given his typically warm and straightforward nature. 

Others, however, shared a response akin to Loki’s. Rogers hung back near the bar, nursing a bottle of beer with ear plugs in as he watched the scene unfold with an openly perplexed expression. Romanoff sat on a bar stool beside him, maintaining her usually neutral expression while drinking some sort of dark-colored cocktail from a cheap plastic cup. Despite shifting his appearance to look human, any passerby could have concluded that Vision’s presence in the midst of the drunken chaos was not natural. Amidst a sea of dark, casual clothing, Vision wore a pastel blue sweater and well-tailored pants. The android’s complexion lacked the flush of alcohol and the sweat from ‘moshing;’ combined with his lack of movement and mild expression, only emphasized the utterly strange nature of the event. Had it not been for Maximoff’s presence in the crowd, the android would undoubtedly have chosen a different location from which to observe the spectacle.

Until that evening, Loki assumed Theo would not be at home in such a ruckus - though she had performed in similar venues prior to becoming an Avenger, her musical prowess seemed far more advanced than this drivel. 

Yet, to Loki’s shock (and concern), Theo also claimed to be a fan of the so-called music; though she initially stood beside Loki as the so-called band performed, after bobbing her head to a couple of songs she disappeared into the sea of people as they jumped and screamed incomprehensible lyrics off-key.  

Left by himself in what might have been his personal hell, Loki cursed Theo for abandoning him, only to chastise himself for such a thought; after all, Theo had attempted to warn Loki of what he would experience. 

Earlier that afternoon, when Maximoff said “You’ll love it Lokes,” to which Loki rolled his eyes — it didn’t matter how many times he told Maximoff, she insisted on calling him Lokes — Theo couldn’t hold back the snort as she countered, “Given your thoughts on Tony’s music, you’ll probably hate it. But hey, you’ll probably enjoy the people watching.” 

Theo was not to blame for Loki’s current predicament; if anything, the only person Loki could truly blame was himself. After all, he was the one who accepted the invitation. 

The sound of distorted guitar shook the walls, his shoes stuck to the floor, and he couldn’t tell if he smelled stale beer or body odor - or both - but the scent was utterly repulsive. There were far too many people packed into such a small place, and they were drunken imbeciles. Even if he wanted to people-watch, it was too chaotic to tell what was going on. With the unnecessarily loud noise coming from the stage, a conversation would be near-impossible, no matter where he stood.

Then again, now that he was alone and everyone else was distracted by other things, no one would miss him if he left. Loki glanced over his shoulder at the exit, debating whether or not he should attempt to slip away at that moment, or wait until a break between songs.

The collision of another person bumping against Loki’s hip interrupted Loki’s train of thought. He whipped around, ready to unleash a series of insults at whoever dared to run into him, only to find Theo standing before him with two identical plastic cups in hand, both filled with a dark liquid similar to what Romanoff drank. The insults died on Loki’s tongue as she offered him one plastic cup, glancing down at the cup and then back at Loki before mouthing “for you.”

Loki lifted the cup and sniffed the drink; the saccharine scent of Midgardian soda intertwined with a spicy, sharp scent akin to some sort of Midgardian alcohol filled his nose, which he quite preferred to the establishment’s fetid aroma. However, Midgardian liquor would not be enough to dull his senses and render the evening tolerable; a tense chuckle – hardly more than a puff of air – escaped him at the thought.

When he looked back at Theo, her previously free hand now dangled a steel flask between two fingers for Loki to see, as if she could read his mind.

“Spiked with Thor’s whiskey,” Theo called out over the music, “You look like you need it.”

Loki rolled his eyes, schooling the discomfort from his face as he took a swallow of the beverage. 

As if the Norns recognized Loki’s frustration from the inability to converse, the ending of the next song brought a short break in the music - just long enough for the performers to switch instruments - after a relentless barrage of sensory overload, the lack of screeching instruments filling the air was a blessed reprieve. 

“Honestly, how can anyone enjoy such nonsense?” Loki leaned in towards Theo, still forced to raise his voice in order to be heard over the hollering from the inebriated audience. “It’s horrendously loud, the musicians are off-key, and the technique is terrible.”

Theo failed to bite back a grin, unfazed by Loki’s ire. “It’s not about perfection, Lo.” 

“Lo?” Loki raised an eyebrow at her. 

Theo faltered, worrying her lower lip between her teeth. “That’s okay, right?”

Loki sighed. “It’s—”  tolerable, at the very least  “—fine.”

Begrudgingly, Loki suspected that there were many things he’d allow Theo to call him that he wouldn’t allow anyone other than Thor to even consider.

“It’s about the feeling behind it. It helps us deal with the bad shit, like anger and sadness —“ Theo glanced toward the stage, then back at Loki. “— Life isn’t perfect. Music shouldn’t be perfect either.”

Much to Loki’s dismay, the band’s vocalist approached the microphone and announced the start of the next song.

Theo, however, lit up, practically glowing despite the dark venue.

“Listen closely to the lyrics—“ Theo instructed (via shouting) as the first chords and the drunken ruckus of the entire venue singing off-key slammed against Loki’s ears, “this is a good example!”

Had anyone else made the request, Loki would have outright refused; however, Loki trusted Theo enough to comply, and begrudgingly put forth a concerted effort to listen closely. 

A few lines in, Theo joined in singing:

“The highway won / I’m listening to traffic reports one on one, coming quietly undone / I was born to run away from anything good / an escape artist’s son / sun drenched pavement in my blood / the first thing that I do when I walk in / is find a way out for when shit gets bad, and…”

Theo kept eye contact with Loki as she sang along; a wistful look in her eyes made Loki recall some of the emotions he’d buried from his younger years. An uncomfortable void swirled in his chest as he stood amidst what he might consider to be the first tier of his personal hell. 

Yet, the song barreled on and Loki forced himself to continue focusing on the lyrical content. Though the writing was not Shakespeare by any stretch of the imagination, the lyricism surprised Loki with its complexity and depth. References to historical events - the Cold War scares of the sixties - interlaced with references to the lingering sentiment within tragedy led to commentary around existential anxiety, loneliness, and the fear of not fulfilling one’s potential.

Loki glanced back over to Theo, who continued to watch him while singing along. She flashed a small, almost sheepish smile as the song reached its bridge:

“Jesus Christ, I’m twenty six / all the people I graduated with / all have kids, all have wives / all have people who care if they come home at night / well Jesus Christ, did I fuck up?”

Even in the poor lighting, Loki caught a glimpse of something painful behind Theo’s expression as she uttered the phrase ‘did I fuck up?’ The expression, however, was fleeting, replaced with a different sort of intensity as Theo locked eyes with Loki for the final chorus:

“I've been looking for tears in the screen door / and I’ve been waiting for another disaster / but I was kinda hoping you’d stay / I was kinda hoping you’d stay / I was kinda hoping you’d… stay.”

Though the song concluded, neither sorcerer made any effort to look away; something unspoken and inexplicable held them in place, frozen in a moment despite the chaos and discord of their surroundings…

… Until said chaos and discord quite literally crashed into them. 

Some drunken oaf had been shoved from the crowd and into Theo’s side, knocking her off balance. Theo let out a shriek of surprise as she stumbled forward in an attempt to not crash into Loki or spill her drink.

Without a second thought, Loki practically dove to catch her before the horde could trample her in their ‘moshing,’ even though it made his drink splash out of the cup in the process. Ignoring the liquid dripping off his other hand, he hoisted Theo up by her elbow and pulled her into his chest to steady her, at least until she regained her footing. 

Yet, when he felt her weight lift, he hesitated to let go.

“Are you alright?” Loki leaned down, close enough that his cheek brushed against Theo’s temple as he spoke into her ear. 

“Yeah, I’m good.” Theo tilted her head back, the soft skin of her nose brushing against the crook of Loki’s jaw as she replied; the sensation sent a pleasant chill down Loki’s spine. “Thanks!”

Theo stepped back, and Loki forced himself to let go; though they met each other’s gaze again, this time neither of them allowed the moment to last. 

Stifled by the sheer volume of the music, the only conversation between Loki and Theo until the end of the event consisted passing comments from time to time - Theo sharing thoughts on a particular song, Loki offering to bring Theo a refill when they both finished their drinks, or one of the pair pointing out something particularly amusing.

Between comments, Loki often caught Theo singing along, though she did so in a far more discreet manner than anyone else in the venue. Despite Loki’s best attempts to focus on Theo’s voice, the sound was lost in a swell of drums and guitars and other voices. The effort invested into trying to hear Theo successfully distracted Loki from the disdain he held for everything else about his surroundings, though it did nothing to dampen the disappointment when he could not hear her far-more-melodic voice floating through the air. 

Perhaps if Theo was the one singing them, or the one playing the songs on piano, he might enjoy them more.

After far too long, the return of overhead lighting and disappearance of musicians from the stage confirmed that the event had finally drawn to a close. Wrangling the various members of their entourage required a bit of teamwork and effort, but it was not long before the Avengers exited the establishment and felt the blessedly cool air of the city against their skin. 

It did not take long before the Avengers split into smaller groups along the sidewalk, a mixture of varied walking speeds and small conversations naturally pairing certain avengers with others. Maximioff and Barnes led the group, laughing and singing along to themselves as they stumbled along. Close behind, Vision and Wilson kept a close eye on their companions as they chatted with Romanoff and Rogers.

From the back of the group, Loki observed his surroundings while relishing the quiet of night. Quiet, of course, was relative - in a city such as New York, the bustle of traffic remained such a constant that it turned into white noise with due time. Strangers occasionally passed on the sidewalk, barely giving any of the Avengers a second glance as they ventured to mystery destinations in the night. 

Farther ahead, a beggar sat near an alleyway, his back against a dumpster so thoroughly covered in graffiti that it would have been impossible to guess its original color; as groups of people passed without paying the man any mind, Loki couldn’t help but notice the man’s resigned sadness.    

“... You survived.” The comment, clearly directed towards Loki, drew his attention from the beggar, though he did not catch the full remark. 

“Pardon?” As Loki replied, he glanced over to find Theo walking beside him, somehow managing to keep pace despite her much shorter stature.

“So, you survived Emo night,” Theo repeated with a coy grin. “How terrible was it?”

“It is certainly not how I would choose to spend my time,” Loki dryly replied. “Nor is it something I would have expected you to enjoy.”

“Thought I had more cultured taste?” Theo teased, bumping Loki’s hip with hers as they strolled along. 

“Clearly I was mistaken.” Loki chuckled and shook his head. “Tell me you do not subject your actor to such nonsense…” 

“You think I can walk into a bar with him and not be swarmed?” Theo cocked a brow as she looked up at Loki. Despite the amused smirk she wore, something bittersweet lurked beneath her gaze. “Even if he could get in without drawing attention, I think the internet would drag me for bringing him to a place like that.”

“Drag you?” Loki echoed, hoping Theo might clarify what she meant by such a term.

“Chew me out. Chastise me. That sort of thing.” Theo sighed, looking ahead once more. “It’s not exactly a luxury hot spot; I’m guessing Chris’s fans would think this kind of place is beneath him.”

“What would he think?” 

“I couldn’t see him having fun, but I don’t really know,” Theo admitted with such nonchalance that it almost seemed odd. “He seems too happy to really get the appeal.” 

Loki froze in place, struck by Theo’s answer. Yes, Loki had endured hardships that others might not understand, but no one could truly exist without heartache, could they? 

Theo stopped a step ahead and glanced back at Loki. “What?” 

“I–” Loki faltered, grasping for the appropriate response. “Surely he has experienced emotions other than happiness?”

“I mean, sure?” Theo glanced ahead at the rest of the group, then back at Loki. “Look, we don’t really talk about shit like that, but I don’t think he’s ever had a bad thing happen to him. If I ever got the crazy idea to talk to him about a bad day at work, I don’t doubt that he’d listen and try to make me feel better, but I doubt he’d really understand.”

“The more you reveal about your relationship, the less I understand the appeal.” Loki shook his head and started forward once more. “I thought that Midgardians valued love for the emotional connection, and yet you seem all too content to avoid emotions in your courtship with the actor.”

“We connect in other ways.” Theo’s tone held a certain cheekiness to it, which she paired with an equally cheeky grin. “I could tell you about the se–”

“– No, I think I am quite alright –” Loki replied rather sharply, cheeks burning as he forced images of Theo in a compromising position from his mind. The last thing he needed was to linger on such inappropriate thoughts, particularly with another Avenger.

“– Hey, you were the one who said everyone has needs –” Theo pointed out, far too self-satisfied in her response, “I figured you’d get it.”

“I do not need the mundane details to understand the appeal of physical intimacy.” Loki scoffed, rolling his eyes. “I simply do not understand why you bother with the rest of the courtship if you’ve no interest in further commitment.”

Theo did not have an immediate answer; she drew in a breath as if to speak, but remained quiet. 

By that point, the pair had walked far enough that they were about to pass the beggar Loki had previously noticed; at that point, they were close enough that Loki could clearly make out the creases of age and weathered skin, as well as the faint wisps of silver where a once robust head of hair likely sat. The man’s earlier melancholy lingered in Loki’s memory, and sentiment tugged at Loki’s heartstrings, compelling him to do something. 

All it took was a twitch of Loki’s fingers to conjure some cash in hand; if nothing else, Loki figured the man could use the money for a night of shelter and a warm meal. Yet, before Loki had the chance to acknowledge the man, Theo had already greeted the man by name, then crouched down so she was at eye-level before she extended some sort of plastic card to him, saying something Loki didn't quite catch. The man, however, grinned at Theo, his smile highlighting gaps where his teeth had fallen out at some point, before thanking her for her generosity.

Dumbfounded, Loki offered a quick greeting and extended the cash, which the elderly man thanked him for, though it was not with the level of warmth that the man exuded when he spoke to Theo.

The moment they were not within earshot of the man, Loki turned to Theo. “You know him?”

“Before I was an Avenger, I played a lot of shows in this area,” Theo explained with a small shrug. “Greg used to be the janitor at one of the local bars, but since I last saw him, he had to quit because of some health problems that left him unable to work. Between the treatment and the lack of income he couldn’t pay rent and ended up on the streets. 

“I didn’t find out until a couple weeks ago, when I was walking home and I recognized him, so I stopped to talk to him and learned about what happened. I told myself that the next time I saw him, I’d put Tony’s insane bank account to use and give him enough money that he would never have to sleep on the street again, and he wouldn’t have to worry about making ends meet The card has contact info for some people who can help him with the logistics.”

“Awfully generous of you,” Loki remarked.

“Hey, you didn’t even know him, but you still gave a bit of cash too,” Theo pointed out with a soft smile. “Most people would have ignored him.”

“Yes, well, back to our previous conversation–” Uncomfortable with the direction with which Theo took his remark, Loki quickly diverted the conversation. “–You never answered my question.”

“What question?” Theo glanced at Loki as they rounded the corner, Avengers Tower stretching into the sky ahead of them.

“Why bother with a courtship if you have no intention of pursuing a serious relationship?”

 “You’re reading too much into this,” Theo laughed nervously as she shook her head. “It’s not that I refuse to be in a serious relationship - I just like to go with the flow.”

Yet, contrary to what Theo said, a familiar melancholy in Theo’s eye said otherwise - the same melancholy he caught when Theo sang, ‘the first thing that I do when I walk in is find a way out for when shit gets bad, and / I’ve been looking for tears in the screen door / and I’ve been waiting for another disaster…’

That look in Theo’s eye told Loki everything he needed to know.

We don't know what we're doing Let's do it again, yeah, you know We're just amateur lovers With amateur friends I can tell you what you're thinking now Before you think it you can settle down Our lovin' isn't gonna burn us out We don't know what we're doing Let's do it again Yeah, let's do it again

[pennyblossom-meta]

I just wanted to say that I love your fanfic Ideas in April, I even read the side story, it’s amazing I cannot wait for more

Hello kind reader! I was very much blown away by your message and comments on the DN analysis posts! Thank you so much for reading and engaging, it means the world to me <3

The next chapter for The Ides of April (TIoA) should be posted in the next couple of weeks, if everything goes well. Work and my tendonitis sometimes make it difficult to write.

I'm also happy to announce that Shi, Ku (4, 9) is also getting its next (and last chapter) sometime after TIoA chp:3 gets released.

As a personal thank you, here's a draft for the next chapter of TIoA that I posted on Tumblr a while ago.

And here's a snippet (but still a draft! some things might yet change) for the next chapter of Shi, Ku that's currently being written:

(...) While Anna is looking up at the ceiling and musing about the best ways to make a strategic exit, — she opens the button on her left sleeve just so, making enough room between herself and the edge of the table so she can whip out her wand and bolt somewhere to Apparate, should it be necessary — the door swings open with a groan that sends a shiver down her spine.  She glances at the thin box the police officer is carrying; whats-its-name is on the tip of her tongue, she has a bigger one of its kind at the apartment, a better one without a doubt that she brought from Britain. Perhaps this NPA is underfunded and this was the best they could scrape off the bottom of the barrel in such a short time.  With fingers interlocked on her lap, she observes how the device is placed in the middle of the table, at an angle of about 45º. Once open, the panel inside is dark but shiny. She cocks her head to the side, confused. “Hm, sir?” Anna follows the officer with her eyes as he sits further down on the side of the table. Within sight of the device. “What am I supposed to be looking at?”  Just as the officer opens his mouth to reply, the entire screen goes white. Anna jumps in her seat, eyes wide as saucers when a black calligraphy ‘L’ appears with a flash, overpowering the display. She stares at it with her mouth slightly ajar and clutches her bag closer to her middle, hearing the newspaper inside crinkle and rustle in the quiet room. “Greetings, Miss Green. Officer Moji tells us you’ve important information to share about the Kira case.” Right down to business, just like Naomi mentioned. “You’re a letter,” Anna states outright, pointing her index finger at the screen. She touches it right in the middle, a baffled frown scrunching up her nose while the police officer regards her warily from his seat, like she’s insane. “And your voice sounds like it’s been put through a meat grinder. She never told me you’d be talking to me through a letter in a machine.” “And who is ‘she’?”  “Naomi Misora,” she tells the giant ‘L’ floating on the screen, giving the blinking green light at the top of the monitor a brief glance. “We’ve been trying to find a suitable way to contact you since early February, but we couldn't risk doing this without a plan." The silence that follows is tense; it drags on, perhaps longer than Anna can perceive as she fiddles with the hem of her sleeve, fingernails grazing the threads on softly embroidered chrysanthemum. She can feel the police officer’s eyes on her and wonders if he’s assessing just how high a threat she might be. Anna takes a deep breath. “Look, I think I’d better start by telling you this: something rather nasty happened to Naomi on New Year’s day that caused her irreversible damage. If I’m not with her every day at 4:44 in the morning and the afternoon she will die of a heart attack.” “What event was this?” came the immediate response.  “I — I don’t know. At first we thought it was some kind of curse, or that she had come into possession of an item that was hexed, but the situation took so many twists and turns it became unrecognisable  — even by our standards. You see, I found Naomi going into the train station when I was shopping for clothes in Ginza that day; I noticed there was something wrong because she seemed unfocused; strangely so.” There’s silence, so Anna proceeds. (...)

Thank you once again, hope you have a wonderful week!

[lover-girl-estxx]

Be Happy For Me

not my gif

"i'm sorry my brothers didn't come to your going away party" Nina said sitting on my bed "its fine" I said doing last minute packing "no its not I mean this wasn't just a some show to get into some fight company. its the show that could make you the first female champ for the UFC" "that doesn't make me nervous at all" I laughed "sorry its just they're assholes" "no they're just old fashion" she shrugged "you ready to fight a bunch of people for days on end?" "you have no idea I can't wait!".

| Nates POV |

what are you watching" I asked my sister and mom sitting on the couch "TUF" Nina said looking at me I slightly looked at her before going back to the TV "Nick!" "mm?" he said coming out of the kitchen "sit" my mom added he did "which episode?" "second" he nodded. She got on to Forrest Griffins team, he was always one of her favorites "what's it what training with the Diaz brothers?" one of the girls I think Chris was her name asking as they sat at the dining table she slightly smiled "its great they're both great fighter help me a lot" "they seem rude" "you seem rude" Y/n said kinda sitting up "well you know I heard through some people that they're not training you anymore after they found out you were coming here doesn't sound very kind to me does it? but low life's act that way right" she shrugged "your gonna find out what a real low life is when I beat you off this show and no one knows your name, your gonna be on my highlight reel and your not gonna have one," y/n said and smiled, I smiled looking at the screen "goodnight!" she took the last sip of her drink.

"I wanted to punch her in the face so bad but I was really tired" she giggled in her interview "I taught her to talk shit like that" I whispered.

"you want to fight?" Forrest asked Y/n "yes please" he nodded "you got it" "thank you!" she smiled. "who are you picking to fight first griffin?" Dana asked "Y/n," she stepped forward "Y/n who do you want to fight?" She pointed to Chris who stepped up Rampage put a hand between them to keep them a bit apart "make sure your hair looks good fight day cause people are gonna wanna watch me knock you out over and over" Y/n said with a smart ass smile on her face making Rampage lightly laugh.

"I'm putting my money on Y/n Y/l/n she's a black belt in BJJ, great striking cardio. She trains with some very tough fighters including season 5 TUF winner Nate Diaz! I think it's gonna be a short fight"

| Ninas POV |

Both my brothers were now on the edge of their seat, me ready to watch through my fingers "come on" Nate said and clapped his hands, Y/n went to the middle and touched gloves they were feeling each other out when Y/n landed a hard leg kick "that was good!" Nick stood up clapping his hands. she got hit good a few times till she hit the other girl with a hard right hook making the girl fall and Y/n hit her again with a hammer fist. A wide smile came to her and she ran around the cage, we all cheered and yelled Nates smile was touching his ears. Forrest picked her up, she showed her mouth guard NDA in big bold letters. "i'm very happy with the fight and the win! but um thank you to my coaches and the fighters back home that helped me leaning up to this fight" she smiled in her one on one "and Nina just cause shes great!" Y/n shrugged.

"yeah me not you two assholes" I said looking to them "thanks Nina' Nick said with tight lips.

We sat down every week and watched Y/n it was now about episode 5, it was towards the end of it when a group of the girls sat in a circle with y/n as well to play a game where they asked questions. Y/n grabbed one of the homemade cards "have you had a crush and not told anyone? Yes" she said setting the card down "you have to tell us how long ago? why didn't you tell him?" Sophia asked her "like month and a half ago" she laughed the girl likely gasped "why not tell him?" "we were friends I didn't want to ruin" "were?" "yes no more questions on top of questions" both the boys looked at each other "who is she talking about?" Nate asked "I don't know" I shrugged. It was Nate ever since we were in highschool.

Y/n 17 years old Nina 15 years old

Me and Y/n drank quite a bit me not so much Y/n and the guys wouldn't let me, "do you want water?" I asked her "no i-m fine" "okay" I slightly laughed "does Nate like me I feel like I annoy him?" "he likes you of course if he didn't he won't hang out with you" she nodded "he's really cute" she smiled "eww that's my brother" I lightly pushed her shoulder "don't tell him please he really won't want to hang out with me" "your secret is safe with me" "promise?" "promise" she smiled "hey you two" Nate said "hi" Y/ns smile grew wider "how much have you drank?" "n-not to much" Nate smiled and put his hand out for her which she took "thank you" he walked her to the friends car who was giving us a ride. He wrapped his arm around her then she laid her head on his shoulder/chest his head on top of hers.

| Y/ns POV |

I laid on my bottom bunking looking up at the top one, I was doing really good I won three fight the first one to get in the next one my KO the third by sub.I did upset me that the boys weren't watching weren't seeing me do good, Nates not sitting in front of the TV like I was for him when he was on the show. He's not gonna be in my corner when I win the title or my coming home party, when I was younger and i'd sit in my room at night and think about this what am doing they were with me.. Now when I walk in my our gym I avoid them when I used to wait for them to come in, its only been a month and a half with out them and out feels like years.

[indigo-ghost-girl]

Spoilers for parts of Sonic Frontiers...

Part 1

Part 5

Soft chirping crickets hopped around among the lush grass of Ouranos island. Moonbeams brilliantly flowed down to the surface of the planet, illuminating and lining everything in sight with a silver shine. Seagulls slept soundly in their nests along the cliffside, tucked into their feathers.

Near the giant, looming stone structure at the islands center, a group of 5 people a small circle.

No one spoke.

Sage had just concluded her revelation. The small Ai girl looked from one member of the group to the next. Their reactions had been mostly what she had expected.

Tails was silent, staring pointedly into the horizon at the vast dark sea in the distance, the knuckle of his right index finger pressing firmly into his chin. His brow was furrowed, the short marigold furs above his eyes spiking outwards. The fox was blinking hard, the light of the moon glimmering off the watery sheen coating his eyes. He swallowed, throat dry and itchy.

Amy’s mouth had been periodically opening and closing, her actions and facial expression similar to that of a mortified fish staring up helplessly at the cleaver about to slice its head off. Her mouth had dried, shriveling up the words she was searching for. “He… lost?” Amy eventually whispered; its hushed tone came out horse. Her green eyes peered skyward, searching the stars for any glimpse of a golden streak of light. “And he…” Amy’s words faded into silence. The hedgehog took a few stumbling steps backwards.

Knuckles was stiff. His eyes seemed dazed, somehow duller than normal. His breaths were tight, stifled, every breath in was constrictive, a battle to inhale oxygen into his lungs. A losing battle. The muscles in his hands were starting to strain under the tight grip he had been clenching them in. His shoulders knotted together behind him, his tense shoulder blades held end to end like a vice. His mouth was twitching, the corners of his mouth twitching into and out of a snarl.

Eggman had returned to his eggmobile long ago, his pompous posterior perched at the edge of his padded seat. Two fingers pushed up the glasses into his face as he squinted into the holographic screen beaming up from his console. The rest of fingers still tapping away at the compact keypad below as the others had their moments.

“No.” Knuckles spoke up, his voice was low, echoing across the quiet whispers of the night. The red echidna shook his head stiffly.

”No!” he repeated, head snapping up. The human jumped at the outburst, left hand shifting to hover over a red button on his console. Knuckles’ eyes zeroed in on the doctor.

“You are not tricking me this time Eggman! I’ve had enough of your tricks and deceit.” Knuckles barked. The echidna scowled at “Sage” redirecting his fiery glare onto her. He could not believe this girl for a second, if she was that deceiver’s daughter, he didn’t trust her either.

Eggman’s lips curled up into an annoyed snarl, “Echidna, get this through your thick skull. Sages programming dictates that she must protect me from any threat to my life. And unfortunately, despite my near infinite genius, I can’t stop that thing from destroying this universe,”

Eggman turned away, “Not alone at least,” he hissed through gritted teeth “and if I die,” his head swiveled back, “You die and your precious angel island goes down with you. I trust my dau- uh,” he stuttered before clearing his throat with a short cough, “CReation, and unless you want to see this planet blow up, you will have to as well.”

Tails eyes unlocked from the horizon, having quietly listened in to the conversation with his finger slipping off his chin. “Knuckles perhaps…” Tails spoke up quietly.

“Well, I trust Sonic!” Knuckles shouted, missing the fox’s comment completely, “He’s had to clean up your messes for years and I refuse to believe he failed. All you have ever done is lie and cheat! I refuse to believe Sonic lost!” the echidna stomped up to Eggman angrily, only stopping when Sage floated between the two heated characters.

Sage interjected herself into their argument, “Your faith is admirable, guardian of the master emerald, your words are close enough to the truth, he almost did win-“

“No!” Knuckles growled, “The last time I saw you, you opened fire on him! How am I meant to believe you?!”

Amy took a step forward reaching out for the echidna’s arm, “Knuckles,” She spoke tugging him away from Eggman.

Knuckles shrugging Amys hand from his arm. “No Amy!” He said, not looking at her. “How do I know you didn’t take advantage of Sonic’s lowered guard? How do I know you didn’t launch him halfway across the galaxy after stealing the emeralds from him?”

“That’s why that things hand is missing isn’t it?” he accused, gesturing at the giant limp robot standing in the trees near them.

The AI brought her hands to her face, her red glitches shifting to blue for a moment, “No! Echidna you and your friends are in grave danger, we must to travel to angel island to-“

“So that it! You’re after master emerald!”

“Please, we don’t have time for this-” Sage begged, hovering down closer to his eye level.

The conversation was abruptly cut short when something large and bright lit up the sky. All attention was immediately turned upwards. A near blinding flash of red and white sparks illuminated the night sky. Tails quickly tucked his big ears under his hands.

Seconds later, a deafening bang reverberated down into the island. Knuckles and Amy were forced to clamp their hands over their ears as well. The ground shook violently beneath them, forcing all on the ground to stumble around to keep from losing balance. All the seagulls took off from their nests along the cliffside, turning the skies into a flurry of panic and white feathers.

What came next was a sharp and powerful wind. It tore through the air, pressing down mercilessly on all on them. A few of the thinner trees snapped under the force of the wind, some toppling to the ground, their new roots unearthed and bare.

Tails and Amy, who were already off balance, were knocked over by the blast. Even Eggmans eggmobile couldn’t handle the force, it tipped over sideways, throwing the man overboard. Sage immediately followed the path of his fall, at his side when he hit the ground.

“What was that?” Amy asked, voice trembling nervously. Her own comment barely made it to her ears over the loud ringing now bouncing around inside her earcannal’s.

“Oh no!” Sage whispered.

“Sage-” Eggman started, fearful but stern, scrabbling to his feet.

The AI turned to the only one in the group who had managed to stand their ground. “Knuckles-“

Before another word could be spoken, all five were blasted outwards. All went flying, even the Echidna. Something had launched itself into the centre of where the group had been recuperating.

The seagulls flooding the skies squawked louder as they were swept up in the sudden tidal wave of wind, creating a ripple of birds that squawked across the sky.

“…Sonic wind.” A calm voice spoke amongst the chaos, “That is what he calls it, how quaint.”

Knuckles groaned, snapping his head up to see what had blind sighted them.

The figure was red a hedgehog, quills upturned, red and white shoes hovering just above the tips of the grass. Knuckles eyes widened in recognition.

He would recognize those quills anywhere. It was Sonic… but… No! The aura around the hedgehog buzzed, humming akin to a large generator and Knuckles was sure his nose picked up a charring smell.

A calm, sort of amused smile was perched lightly on Sonic’s muzzle, like a small bird rustling its feathers. Nothing like Sonic’s signature warm and confident smirk.

This smile was cold: malevolent. Empty.

The hedgehog was staring at his glove, small chunks of the white cotton seemed missing, it watched, almost playfully, as the small red of gusts of glittering winds danced beautifully among his fingers.

Knuckles grit his teeth, hard. So; Sage had been telling the truth.

Eggman, who had landed closest to the echidna, cleared his throat. “Believe her now echidna? ”Eggman grumbled out the side of his mouth.

“Shut it, nosehair.” Knuckles growled, baring his gritted teeth at the human.

“S-sonic?” Amy spoke up, pushing herself to het feet.

The hedgehog spun his head to her gracefully. The smile grew wider.

Amy felt her shoulders tense. His eyes! The white of his eyes, infected with an inky black. His emerald eyes now tainted with a glowing neon purple that seemed to float lifelessly in the void. His eye lids drooped hallway down his face as he brought his attention to her, he seemed so calm, viciously so.

“Greetings, Amy Rose,” It spoke again, its layered voice dancing as delicately as the wind weaving about his fingers.

“Enlighten me,”

Amy felt the air around start her fizzle. It pricked lightly at her skin.

“How resilient are you?”

In a second, those burning purple eyes appeared before of her nose. Time warped to an unbearable crawl around her. All she could do was stare at the hedgehogs face, eyes wide and pupils two purple specks, as she felt something dig into her abdomen in painfully slow motion. She couldn’t feel the pain of the punch, she barley even noticed it was there, too taken off guard by how fast he had moved and how close Sonic’s face was to hers.

The wind whistling past her ears drowned out the screams of the others calling her name. At some point mid-air she got a grip on herself and managed to land on her feet. The dirt and grass piled up behind her boots as she slid backwards. Her back hit a tree with a thump, knocking the air from her lungs and jostling the leaves of the tree. Amy stumbled, falling onto her knees, gasping for breath and clutching at her abdomen.

“Sonic stop!” Tails cried. The fox began scrambling to his feet, quickly approaching the hedgehog.

“Tails Don’t!” Knuckles, bolted at the red hedgehog, fist pulled back. The purple eyes shifted slightly.

It was Knuckles turn to have the wind knocked out of him, tossed back by a massive blade of air that shrieked at him. It blasted him upwards at a sharp angle, flinging him far across the landscape.

Its eyelids fell, unamused, “Impatient guardian, you will have your fight, wait your turn,” it tutted.

“Knuckles!” Tails cried, reaching out a hand to his friend as he disappeared into the distance across the island.

“Miles, “Tails” per hour,” said a voice next to his ear. Tails filched, leaping away.

It walked at him slowly, hands casually clasped behind its back, the light of the morning sun seemed cold as it rose behind the hedgehog, shadowing his face and letting the purple eyes light up Sonic’s features.

The fox stumbled backwards, it continued to approach. Tails’ body was shaking, his arms and legs trembling but he clenched his fists, holding his ground. He gulped, pressing down his growing dread, “Sonic,” he started, voice as shakey as his limbs “You have to stop this… you can fight it…”

It titled its head at him, stopping right in front of his face.

“Sonic… can you hear me?” Tails squeaked.

A soft laugh, “Oh the mortal can hear you young kitsune,” it chuckled.

Tails took a step back.

Red eyelids concealed his pupils for a moment. His left eye opened again, unveiling a shaking green iris. It glanced around frantically for a moment, bouncing around the void until it settled on Tails. It shrank.

“S-s-sonic?” Tails stammered.

“He pleas for you to flee,” it informed, politely.

The green eye was quelled by the red eyelid once again and the purple eyes from before gleamed in its place.

“Although I am curious,” it pondered, smile widening into a great black smile, illumined by a neon purple tongue, “How do you flee from the fastest thing alive?”

Knuckles came flying from the trees at the hedgehog, hollering a rage fueled war cry, spines full of twigs and leaves, aiming a fist in its direction.

Another wave of wind was thrown his way, but this time Knuckles was prepared, he swerved out of the way. The aftereffects of the wind dragged him back but he stood firm, his shoes grinding away at the ground beneath him. The echidna blinked; the hedgehog had vanished. He saw Tails’ eyes widen at something behind him.

“Too slow,” Knuckles whipped his head around, it was right behind him smile gleefully wide. The echidna ducked just in time, missing the first punch the hedgehog had thrown. Knuckles landed and immediately rolled away from the second punch. When hedgehogs fist hit the earth, an explosion of mud and rocks shot up into the air.

The echidna caught some debris in his mouth and he spat it out as he jumped to his feet. The earth explosion fell, hitting the grass in many soft pattering sounds. Among the shower of soil stood the hedgehog.

It opened its mouth, its eyes open unnaturally wide, “Knuckles the Echidna, guardian of the master emerald, your skill is to be expected. Yet you are no match...”

The hedgehog was suddenly a spinning red ball. Knuckles had barely milliseconds to raise his fists in defense. He had expected Sonic to bounce off him. Instead, the ball of spikes tore through his defense. A horrible crunching sound met his ears as pain exploded into his right fist.

He stumbled away, lashing back with a blind punch.

Burning hot fingers wrapped around his wrist. His punch was brought to an abrupt stop. The echidna bit back a hiss as the red-hot fingers tightened.

It continued gently, “…For you have no notion of how greatly your friend restrains himself. I However-” It swiftly caught the other wrist as Knuckles threw his second punch. “-Have no qualms on the subject.”

The rage in Knuckles eyes deepened as he glared into the eyes of the other, cringing as the grip around his wrists got hotter. The hissing sound of Sonic’s cotton gloves ashing and melting, contaminated the air.

It smiled back at him, that deceivingly soft smile. Its eyebrows raised and its gaze turned to his right fist. Knuckles eyes flickered to his claws. Only to see two cracked stumps. His gut clenched painfully.

A mighty thwack brought his attention back to the fight his wrists released. Knuckles pulled away. A blur of yellow and white. Tails had hit the hedgehog back with his tails. He felt a hand grab his arm, yanking him away from another punch.

The echidna was deposited at the foot of the tall stoney cliff. The fox landed next to Knuckles with a huff. “It’s toying with us,” he exhaled. “Knuckles, we… have to try the plan.”

The red hedgehog tilted its head curiously, peering down at the two below it.

“You can’t handle that thing by yourself!” Knuckles insisted, eyes still locked on to the smiling hedgehog. He flexed his right hand into a fist, parts of his crumpled claws flaking into small bits that fell to the ground.

“Good thing he’s not alone then,” Came Amy’s voice from behind him. Amy waltzed into his field of vision, a slight limp to her step and a massive hammer resting against her right shoulder. She wiped off a smudge of dirt from her muzzle with her thumb. “Go! We’ll cover you.”

[smokinsid]

Late Night People

Summer. 2:15 AM. College of Synergetics, Level 3 – REAPER Lab, Rata Sum.

Enid looked wearily at a crumpled pack of cigarettes, then back at her holo-screen. On her desk, a little girl in a big red hat grinned up at her tired face, looking as bright and proud as the midday sun.

For a few weeks now, her research had been chasing its tail. Relative Extraplanar studies- thrill that they were, giving a scientist cause to go sliding orthogonal to the three-dimensional Tyria into realms unknown- were still a headache, at their core. Was a mortal body meant to move that way, or see those things?

“Yes!” Came a low, sonorous showman’s voice from across the room. The attuned crystal in her radio blinked and pulsed in time with every syllable. “And I’ll tell you what else, my friends- if Balthazar can bite the dust, if Kralkatorrik can kick it- then what is there out there for us to worry about? The Arcane Council keeping secrets, hiding things from us? Well, we know why they do that- the slow dissemination of what they really know is what’s keeping them in their seats, after all.”

Smoke Signals with Sidney Figleaf. Venlin Vale Radio, 103.3 K-R-U-E.

The call letters came to her mind automatically. And that voice- “Smokin’ Sid,” on the radio- was her brother.

They hadn’t talked in a while. Maybe she should call him. It had been a long time since the big blowup, after all- and Rucks had turned out alright so far. Still young enough to come back to college.

“Coming up in the next half-hour, we’ll have open lines here on Smoke Signals. Tune your crystals to 1.333.1033- again that’s 1.333.1033, for the Smoke Signals hotline. Call now and get queued up- the subject tonight? Strange lights in the sky! Stranger than usual, anyway. Have you seen them? Tell us all about it. --And now, a word from our sponsors.”

As a jingle played for Royal Kournan cigars, followed by an ad for Oozeley’s Sure-Fire Detergent, she drummed her fingers on the desk and frowned at the blue-gray little crystal in front of her, mounted in a ring of brass.

“Oozeley’s, Sure-Fire,

Made from the goo you trust,

Oozeley’s, Sure-Fire,

For stains, it is a must!”

It was now or never. She grabbed the little brass ring and rotated the pointed crystal within, spinning it like a dial toward the numbers etched into the metal edge. In seconds she was connected, and a pleasant, modulated golem’s voice greeted her.

“You’ve reached the 103.3, K-R-U-E, call-in hotline! Your queue position is currently... SIX. Please hold. Your call will be on the air shortly. Remember to shut down your radio receiver before speaking, to eliminate static and echo. Thank you for calling Venlin Vale Radio.”

Soft jazz rose from the vibrating surface of the crystal, tickling her ear. She set it down on the table and huffed.

She had plenty of time to hang up if she wanted.

“Subject is mysterious lights in the sky- mysteriouser than usual, I should say. Caller number two, you’re on the air.”

Oh, Alchemy. He’s just picking lines at random.

“Am I on the air with Smokin’ Sid?”

“Yes, that’s me. Please turn off your radio, sir, for the feedback. Now, what’s your name, and what do you have to report?”

“Uh, name’s Putt. Work outta Statics.”

“Ah, a fellow Statics, ahem, alum. Wonderful. And what did you see?”

“Well, this was a couple weeks ago, late one night in Brisban- we were listening to the show while we were on stakeout, watching the bandit gangs drift here and there.”

“Ah, sounds like you’re working a security detail. I’d ask you how things are going with the gangs, but let’s focus on the scene overhead.”

“Right, well- me and the fellas like to shoot skeet to kill time,”

“Careful friend, this is radio,”

“Y’know, like clay pigeons, we got some with glow-in-the-dark paint.”

“Ah.”

“And so I was up top of the watchtower, throwing ‘em here and there when I heard the word ‘pull,’ that kind of thing.”

“Putting some lights in the sky yourself, as it were.”

“Mm- so we’ve done a few rounds of this, and I throw another one, and Creidon- big fella, Lionguard, down at ground level, he puts a crossbow bolt through it, sure as sunrise.”

“But...?”

“It got stuck, Sid.”

“In the... clay pigeon?”

“No- well, not as such. It’s like, it punched through the pigeon and hit something else. Something round. Like... shoot, I’m gonna sound crazy.”

“Not on my show, friend.”

“Like a bubble, in the sky. Like someone got a straw under the sky and blew real hard and just... warped it out. The stars looked all stretched and distorted close to the pigeon, got more normal the further out you went.”

“As if the sky itself was... closer, there?”

“Yeah! Damnedest thing I ever saw! Bowed in like the ceiling on a first-floor dorm when the toilet upstairs overflows.”

“Remarkable.”

“The pigeon- and the bolt- just clung to it. And then it sorta... deflated? Just slowly receding until the sky looked normal again. It took both with it! We never got ‘em back.”

“Wow. Not quite what I expected to hear when it comes to lights in the sky, but that certainly is mysterious. Thank you, Putt- the Smoke Signals Research Team will put some time into this one, I’m sure.”

Enid had already taken a few steps away from the crystal, drawing up astronomical charts of the sky over Brisban and running numerous calculations and simulations. A ‘bubble’ in the sky could be any number of things- in her mind, it was some burdensome patch of mist, pushing on the fabric of Tyria. A mistquake? A mist… sinkhole?

“Caller number… six! You’re live on Smoke Signals. Go ahead and turn off your radio, feedback and all that. I need a name, and- what did you see in the sky, lately?”

“…Could’ve been the movement of a human god, they make quite a dent- haven’t heard from Melandru in a minute, have they?”

“Caller number six? Are you there? –Do turn off your radio, please and thank you, for the feedback, then start with a name.”

“Of course, if it isn’t the movement of a god… can we rule out dragons now? Are they done?” She poked at the holo-screen and flipped through archive files.

“…Enid?”

Enid let out a horrible gasp and slapped her radio, then spun away from the screen and rounded on the crystal.

“—Am I on the air? Shoot, I missed it!”

“No, no, you didn’t miss it. Bit of a rocky start, but I’m feeling generous tonight. Now, ah… name, as I said, and, what exactly did you see?”

“Oh, I’m… Enid. I work here on the third level of Synergetics, and…”

“Enid! I knew it was you! Distinguished listeners, we’re hearing live, the voice of my dear sister. It’s been ages. I’m surprised to hear you saw something ‘weird,’ Nid- you always had a pretty high bar.”

In his smoky studio, Sid was secretly reeling. He leaned away from the microphone and pat a box of Shadhavar Wides against his palm to pack them, then fumbled for a little silver lighter. The etching of a bikini-clad human winked up at him as he struck the wheel and took a long, steadying drag.

“Well… hm. What your first caller said caught my attention, so I was in the middle of researching that.

“The- the Brisban case, with Putt? You jumped on it that quick?”

“While I was on hold.”

“Wow. But, ah… do you have your own sighting to report? Something for the audience to chew on?”

Enid tapped her bottom lip and huffed.

“Well, I don’t want anyone to think too much of this, but I have seen something. About three weeks ago. I was up north- in Grothmar, the Charr territory?”

“Beautiful weather up there. Even the storms are nice.”

“Uh-huh. Well, I was studying post-Kralkatorrik brand radiation- the corruption is persistent, you see, and when you have a steady source like a dragon, that’s to be expected. Without it, the flow should ebb and the radiation should begin to decay. But I think that due to the crystalline structure of the corrupted materials, the magic is finding these facets to bounce around on, conserving angular momentum and-“

“Nid, I love ya, but this is dead air. Lights? Sky? We getting there?”

She sighed and rolled her eyes. Right. Sid and Sid’s audience. Lowest common denominator.

“It was a symmetrical cymatic response- that is to say, we used our instruments to mess with the cluster of corrupted material on the ground, and were able to have a second team in the mists check their location with identical instruments. We’d make a tone, they’d detect a tone.”

“More of a sound in the sky, but I’m with ya so far. So this krewe, on the other side of the veil, so to speak, they could hear the sound you were making, and… what?”

“Well, that’s the revolutionary thing, Sid. It’s the first time we’ve been able to accurately, linearly map the coordinates of a location in the mists, as it relates to a location in Tyria! By measuring the offset between the two, we were able to calculate that the mists themselves are at an orthogonal angle to standard Tyria- our North is their West!”

“…Fascinating. And the implications are… staggering, I’m sure.”

Her expression flattened and she ran a hand across her face. Lights. In the sky. Right. Let’s get to that before he moves on.

“So this relates to Putt’s bubble, you see. The fact that it welled up at all, how it moved, where it came from- to your listeners’ great satisfaction, we did see lights in the sky that we couldn’t explain. Not a bubble, no- but I theorize we saw the shear between Tyria and the mists. Sending such a direct signal from one to the other had an effect on the boundary between realms… and somebody, we speculate, didn’t appreciate that.”

“Oh. Oh! Hey, that’s juicy, you should have started with that! No flair for the dramatic, this one. So let’s get into that, specifically- what did you see, that gave ya cause to speculate that?”

“At first we thought that we’d kicked up a storm. Cloud-to-cloud lightning, and lots of it. But… I hate to hand it to the humans, especially after the Balthazar thing, but they might be onto something with some of their gods.”

“You saw one?”

“We saw a hand. Specifically, the underside of one. Curling fingers, drawing across the realm-shear, constructed out of lightning. It was vague at first, but as the digits moved, there was no mistaking it.”

“Wild stuff, sis. I wanna take a shot in the dark here, because I know you- I know there’s more at play here than just you seeing something. Did your krewe in the mists see something too?”

“That’s the kicker. They saw the other side of the hand. They thought they were having tech issues, an overloaded crystal somewhere, until screens started blowing out and lightning started leaping everywhere. Had to evacuate their work camp while huge knuckles made of static discharge just sort of… raked through their whole shop, destroying anything they couldn’t carry out. Made a circular motion, seemed to… stir up the mists? Maybe… froth them back up, after we’d thinned them out?”

“Holy crap. Now that’s the kind of mystery I’m talkin’ about! The nature of the human gods, or whatever they are! Why would it do that? Does this mean that gods are making other lights in the sky? Did a god blow Putt’s bubble? We gotta get some humans on the line- they got experts, right? Like, uh… religious… scholars?”

“Isn’t that a bit of an oxymoron?”

“Nid, be nice. We take all kinds here on Smoke Signals. –Speaking of which, our next caller’s been on the line quite some time, waiting for their chance. Boy, but this was a doozy. I’m gonna run a golem down to your lab with my personal number. Maybe the Smoke Signals research team can lend a hand with this, huh? –‘Til next time, though, goodnight!”

“…Yeah, see ya around, Sid.”

“Thank you for calling 103.3, K-R-U-E, Venlin Vale Radio!” A familiar automated voice chimed.  “You have been disconnected! Please wait five minutes before placing another call!”

And then the line went quiet, the crystal dark.

She turned on her radio and returned to the holo-screen.

“—aller number one, you’ve been awfully patient, you must have something reeeeeeally important to share! Turn off your radio and give us your name, if you please.”

As the next caller regaled Sid with tales of a “boat” they saw in the sky as they were hiking in Dzalana, Enid immediately tuned out.

Sid… she really didn’t have any reason to want his respect. In fact, he should be treating a professor of her caliber with a little more deference, when you really looked at the situation from the outside in. But here he was, regionally-famous radio host, urging her to get to the ‘good parts’ of her research and shooing her off the air when he thought she’d said enough.

Why did that cut so deep? As nice as it was to talk, it was painfully one-sided.

She knew he had a good mind. An inquisitive and dutiful mind. He’d volunteered to serve in Orr, after all, and was instrumental in reporting troop movements back to Claw Island over secured channels and providing music to those same troops over unsecured channels, using just deft hands and a junky set of equipment he’d cobbled together.

She was finishing her first doctorate at the time, too young for the Priory to deploy her- and too young for the College of Synergetics to let go of her, besides. When the news came back, she really thought of her older brother as a hero. Silly old Sid, a war reporter.

But maybe he was just a nicotine-stained, slimy, self-serving, cabbage-fucking-

She took a deep breath and shook her head. He had given her a lot of airtime to tell a complicated story, and he was sending along a means to talk privately, finally!

But it was the ‘he had given’ part she took painful umbrage with. How is it that he’s always in charge of these things? Effortlessly, as if it’s his right? There was a real mystery. Lights in the sky are easy to explain compared to that.

She continued to grumble as she prodded at the screen. As the pink holographic text started to blur, she looked away and found herself staring at the framed photo of her daughter, grinning up at her with gap teeth and bright eyes.

“He’s repulsive. Rucks, how did he ever get in your head? If you had focused on your studies, you’d be here in the city with me, instead of…”

She couldn’t remember the name. Some backward human fishing village across the sea.

Enid pulled open a drawer and retrieved a bag of hard candy. It was right next to her cigarettes- Skrittmann’s Menthol Silver Slim 120s. She frowned at the half-full softpack and shut the drawer, then popped a thumb-sized cylinder of blue raspberry into her cheek.

The clock struck 3:00 am, and there was a knock at the door.

“It’s open,” she called out. The interlocking hatch doors slid apart, and a golem stumped into the room, carrying a teal holopad in one hand and a book in the other. She met it halfway and it held its hands up in an oddly childlike fashion, offering both at once.

“This must be the private number, and… what’s this, now?”

She took the book and frowned at the cover, reading aloud in a flat, irritated voice:

“Up In Smoke – One Asura’s Journey from Lowlife to High Life, and How You Can Too.”

Alchemy fucking preserve me, it’s signed.

She scowled at the silver paint-pen signature across the dustcover, and flipped to the first page.

To Spokes- it takes balls the size of honeydews to ride a ten-speed through Malchor’s Leap, and you did it every day. I might have quit radio altogether if you hadn’t brought me those letters from Camp Narthex.

“DEDICATION

To the 113th Ground Artillery Regiment- you guys were a real peach to bivouac with. Sorry about the latrine. You’re welcome for the case of Gorepelt Supreme I found- didn’t take us long to get through those bottles, did it?

To Professor Qlatt, Statics Earthworks Division- sorry I kept putting stuff in my nose, man. I got an attention span you could fit in a teaspoon with room to spare, and you sure were patient. I ain’t coming back, but if you want that homework I owe ya, I eventually filled it out.

To Ma & Pa- I just hope you’re glad I figured out something to do.

And to my sister, Enid. You don’t just make them proud, you make me proud, too. It’s a big ask, but keep achieving for the both of us. When I say you’re Council material, it’s the only time in my life I’ve ever not meant it as an insult.”

Enid swallowed, frowned, and pat the golem on the head, sending it clunking off back into the hall.

“Guess I’ll call him,” she exhaled through her teeth.

“Just… maybe tomorrow.”

She set the book face-down on her workbench and took another deep breath, then turned her eyes back up to the screen.

She’d never admit it, but they both wanted the answer to the same question.

Just what is going on up there, anyway?

[simplyholl]

Across the Multiverse Pt. 4 [Loki x F Reader]

Summary: Y/N and Loki’s relationship takes an unexpected turn after one of Stark’s parties. When they are sent on a mission to find their multiversal selves, will they realize they should be together?

Pairing: Avenger Loki x F Avenger Reader

*The car scene is a little nod to @lokisgoodgirl‘s Clandestine F*cks Collection. I wrote that scene just for you as a little thank you for everything. ILY bunches and I wouldn’t be doing any of this if it wasn’t for you. 

The caption for the picture is lyrics from “Call It What You Want” by Taylor Swift

Warnings: Smut. Minors DNI. 18+ ONLY. Incorrect use of multiverse travel.

W/C: 2.7K

Loki has been mad at me since we got back. It didn’t help matters that when we found Universe 322’s me, Bucky answered her door. She came out behind him barely dressed with just fucked hair. But that wasn’t me, Loki has taken it to heart though. He makes a snide comment every time Bucky is in the same room as me.

I’m downstairs waiting for my ride to mine and Natasha’s interview. “Hey kid, change of plans. Natasha had to go on a mission with Clint. So, you’ll be doing your interview with Reindeer Games.” My heart falls into my ass as Loki walks over to us dressed in a skintight Henley shirt. The fabric clings to his frame leaving nothing to the imagination. I’m so mad at myself for still being attracted to him despite him acting like an asshole for a month.

“Wait Tony, isn’t there someone else who could come with me?’ “No Y/N, everyone else is busy. Well except for me, and I’m not going. What’s the problem anyway? I thought you two were best friends forever. Uh oh, a lover’s quarrel perhaps?” “NO!” Loki and I answer a little too quickly. Tony smiles knowingly at us. “Just play nice for the cameras. Give them what they want. You know, really play to the crowd.”

I’m nervous to be on this talk show. Robin, the host always asks the most scandalous questions. Her show is known for getting gossip out of celebrities and superheroes alike. Last time the Avengers were on her show, she got Bruce to admit he was dating Natasha. I’m surprised Nick Fury let Loki be on today, God of Mischief and all that.

Robin sits across from the white sofa Loki and I are on. Old pictures from my Instagram are blown up on the screen behind us. The pictures are of me and Loki with silly filters on our faces, playing in the snow, and my favorite. We had a little too much to drink in his room and we decided to document the evening. I’m sitting in his lap, his long arms wrapped around me holding me tightly against his torso. He has his lips pressed against my cheek in a playful kiss. And I am smiling like a lovesick fool. I even captioned it “Starry eyes sparking up my darkest night” with a green heart emoji. In my defense, we were listening to Taylor Swift’s Reputation album that night. At least, that’s the excuse I used when the girls bombarded me with accusations after I posted it.

Robin gestures to the pictures. “You two are the cutest couple! Y/N, how long have you been banging the most mysterious Avenger?” I can’t help my blushing cheeks. The nerve of this woman. “We are not a couple and we have never been intimate.” I lie, crossing my fingers behind my back. Robin doesn’t know how to take no for an answer. “Look at him, Y/N. There must have been at least one late night where there was a lingering glance that quickly turned into more.” The audience is on the edge of their seats waiting for my answer. I look to Loki for help. He just smiles at me, and I could swear he is trying not to laugh. Asshole. “I won’t deny that Loki is attractive.”

The whistles and cheers from the crowd confirm my statement. Loki stands up gesturing to his face and body. The cheers grow louder. He finally takes his seat. “But there is nothing between us except for friendship. No lingering glances, no hookups, nothing.” “Boo! You’re no fun! You know your fans ship you two together, right? Here’s a thread about you two we found.”

She displays it on the screen. There are photos I didn’t know existed of us walking, eating, holding hands. The comment section is filled with statements like “Everyone knows they are dating. Why hide it?” “The chemistry between them is smoldering. I was at the table beside them, and I thought I would catch on fire from it.” “Have you seen how he looks at her?”

Robin reads each one making me more uncomfortable by the second. This is all too much. Loki notices and places his hand on mine. I feel better instantly. Robin finally makes it to the end of the thread. “Well, if you’re telling the truth, and you’re not an item, let us at least see your first kiss. We would love that, wouldn’t we?” The audience chants “Kiss her” as I look at Loki trying to figure a way out of this. Surely, he will come up with something. He hasn’t wanted to be near me, let alone kiss me.

He whispers in my ear, “We might as well, darling. What was it Stark said, give them what they want?” Loki grabs my face as he leans down to reach my lips. Soft kisses turn into hungry ones as he slides his tongue in my mouth. The audience is whistling and shouting, but I’m not paying attention. It’s all I can do to keep from drowning in the passionate way his lips glide with mine. My hands are in his hair, and I’m pretty sure I moaned too loudly. Loki breaks the kiss gently placing his thumb against my bottom lip as his eyes search mine. He places his lips against me again and again. Each time I think he is done; his soft lips are on me once more. It’s like he can’t help himself. When he finally stops, I am breathless.

As soon as we get in the car, both our phones start blowing up. Loki answers his. Tony’s voice comes over the speaker frantically shouting. “What the hell were you thinking?” Loki answers calmly, “You told us to play nice for the cameras, Stark. I was merely following instruction.” “I meant don’t fight with each other on live TV, not shove your tongue down her throat in front of the world!” Loki laughs as he hangs up on him mid- rant. He asks me if I’m going to the party tonight and I tell him probably not. “It’s probably for the best. After that kiss, the ladies will be falling at my feet tonight.” I look out the window the whole way home, holding back tears.

Tonight is Tony’s infamous lingerie party. The guys have been looking forward to it for months. The girls and I went shopping for our outfits weeks ago. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t buy mine with Loki in mind. I think I’m going to stay in tonight. Seeing Loki with models in their underwear is too much for my heart to handle.

Wanda and Natasha show up at my room with drinks. They can’t stop gushing about the kiss. Tears start streaming down my face uncontrollably. I wasn’t going to tell anyone about me and Loki, but now I don’t have a choice. They are just as confused as I am, especially after that kiss. It seemed too real.

“You have to go to the party now, Y/N.” Wanda encourages me. “Yeah, you have to show him what he’s missing.” Natasha decides we have to get ready together. Wanda is doing my makeup. Natasha styles my hair. When they have finished my makeover, I am completely impressed. I have never been hotter.

My hair hangs down in soft waves. My smoky eyes are accentuated by little jewels along the wings of my eyeliner. My false eyelashes are a little heavy. They will take a while to get used to. My lacy, black lingerie clings to my body in all the right places. The wire in the cups of my bra push my breasts up to make them look bigger and more perky. The cheeky panties are almost see through.  They are tied on the side with little black bows. Natasha helps fasten my garters to my stockings. Wanda finds my sexiest heels in the back of my closet. I’m definitely dressed for revenge.  

When we arrive at the party, it’s not hard to spot Loki. He is sitting on the sofa, all the hottest girls gathered around him. There are two on his lap for heaven’s sake. I look at the girls for encouragement. We walk over to the sofa across from him. He unapologetically checks me out. He only takes his eyes off me when one of the women in his lap clears her throat. All of them are glaring at me, mad because I stole his attention, if only for a moment. “I didn’t think you would be in attendance tonight, pet.” Loki says coldly.

I smile at him sweetly, moving my hair to reveal the spot on my neck he loved to mark. His eyes darken. “Well, I thought I’d come to check out all the available men. Tony invites the most alluring bachelors to this party every year. As you know, I am so single right now. Actually, I thought I’d take a page out of your book and bring back someone to warm my bed. Maybe a doctor. “You and I both know someone like that could never please you. You like playing with danger, pet.”

“How could you possibly know what would please me, Loki?” I can tell I’ve struck a nerve. He grips the arm of the sofa tightly making the thick veins on his hands stick out. Loki stands up forgetting the girls in his lap. They are thrown to the floor with a thud. I try my best not to laugh, but a little giggle escapes me. He doesn’t even acknowledge them, just takes a long stride to step over them. He grabs my hand jerking me off the couch. A cloud of green smoke surrounds us.

Suddenly, we are in the library. He circles behind me like a lion stalking his prey. I gasp when his hand tangles in my hair while the other shoves me face first against a table. The cold surface makes me shiver. His fingers pull my panties to the side. Quick fingers swipe my entrance finding me soaked. He plunges into me with a hard thrust. I grasp the side of the table. My right cheek finally getting used to the cold surface. I’m overwhelmed from how deep he is and how full I feel in this position. His strong legs nudge mine spreading me wider. Long fingers grip my hip roughly as he drives into me. He places his other hand to my lips. “Suck.” He commands slipping two slender digits in my mouth. I run my tongue over them tasting myself. I suck on the tips while I take everything, he gives me. “Who knows exactly how to please you?” “You… Loki” I pant. “I can’t hear you, pet. Who is it that makes you feel this way? Who makes this pretty pussy so full?” “You, Loki. Only you.” He thrusts harder, chants of his name fill the room as we both unravel.

This is our week off from the mission while some of the others go. Since the night in the library, Loki and I have barely left his room. I’m disappointed because we have to go to dinner with Scott and Thor. Not because I don’t want to go, but it means I won’t be alone with Loki. In the car, Loki and I sit in the back while Thor drives. I have a feeling he is up to something when he sits in the middle beside me instead of on the other side.

Loki tells me to put my seat belt on when the car starts moving. I’m still pouting about having to leave the comfort of his bed, so I refuse. He leans over me bringing the seat belt across my chest. His fingers graze my breasts through the thin fabric of my dress. His green eyes fixed on me as the click rings throughout the car. His hand grips my thigh. His fingers hold so tightly it could bruise. “Can you be quiet for me?” he whispers in my ear. His warm breath sends chills down my body.

I whisper yes, confusion written on my face. His intentions are clear when his hand travels up my thigh. “No panties?” he questions. I give him a mischievous smile. He places one expert finger on my clit circling. I bite my lip trying not to make a sound. The moan I tried and failed to hold back came out like a squeak. Thor’s attention is on us now. “What is the matter, Y/N?” he asks concern lacing his voice. Scott is curious now too. He turns around. “Brother, keep your eyes on the road. I have fought many battles and survived. I will not die by your hand. Y/N is fine. She was merely remembering a rather sad moment from one of her books. She seeks comfort from me. Allow her some privacy.” Loki places his free hand on my head guiding me to his shoulder. Thor and Scott must believe him, because they face forward.

Loki leans down whispering “Hush now, darling. I thought you could be silent. Do you wish for me to stop?” I shake my head no, grabbing his wrist desperately trying to hold his hand in place. He slips two slender fingers inside. His rough palm rubs against my clit. I buck my hips against him quietly whining against his neck. He pumps his fingers in and out. “So tight. I cannot wait to be inside you tonight, Y/N.” His thumb works against me as he hooks his fingers inside hitting my g-spot. I bite down on his shoulder my grip on his wrist tightens as I come undone. My eyes are watering. That was so intense. It was almost too much without making a sound. Loki’s thumb quickly brushes the stray tears away.

He places a soft kiss to my cheek. “that’s my good girl.” He purrs. He gently removes his fingers from me. He brings his hand to his mouth. Placing the two that were just inside me to his tongue. He sucks them clean; a small moan escapes his lips. Scott turns around giving Loki a questioning look. He notices the fingers Loki quickly removes from his lips. “Hey! I didn’t know you had snacks. No fair! The wait for the restaurant was over an hour when I called. I will starve to death by then!” “I never share what is mine, Lang. Especially when it is the most delicious of treats.” He smirks glancing at me, amusement dancing in his eyes. I just smile at Scott and try not to melt into my seat.

The team decided to let loose and have a few drinks together tonight. That quickly turned into mostly everyone being outrageously drunk. Thor passes his flask of Asgardian liquor to the Super Soldiers. Loki is sitting with Tony and Sam. I hear an outburst of laughter from that area, so I walk over. “Where is my girl?” Loki slurs.

“Who is your girl, Laufeyson? We didn’t know you were seeing anyone.” Sam laughs. Loki ignores him looking around the room. “Where the hell is my sweet girl?! She better not be anywhere near Barnes!” Loki shouts. Bucky throws his hands up defensively, a smile spreading across his face. I go over to Loki to make sure he is okay. “Ah, there she is.” He pulls me into his lap. His arms hold me tightly to him. He places small kisses to my hair. “Um, Loki we should get you back to your room. You need to go to sleep, or you’ll feel awful tomorrow.”

“Excellent idea, my love. I can’t wait to have you in my bed again.” He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively at me. I place one of his arms over my shoulder helping him to the elevators. When we get to his room, I walk him over to his bed. I pull off one large boot, then the next. He helps me by pulling his shirt off while I work on removing his pants. He grabs my hand placing it over his heart. “Y/N, I lo- “ he stops for a moment searching my face. “I’ll, I’ll see you in the morning.”  He rolls over, the sounds of his snoring fill the room while I slide under the blankets beside him.

Part Five

Tags

@lokisgoodgirl @fictive-sl0th @muddyorbsblr @jaidenhawke @ozymdias 

@lokissidepeice @huntress-artemiss @those-late-night-feels @marygoddessofmischief  @trojanaurora @acciotherapists @snafu-hmfi 

@eleniblue @lokidbadguy

[cyberneticdreamscape]

THE DESPERATION OF A SCHOOLGIRL DOLL

This story can be found as a dedicated page on my blog: Here

This story features a number of kinks, primarily: Exhibition \ Rape

===============================================

The bustling sound of joyful youth filled the dining hall, laughter flooding through the open space. Midterm season was over, the stress lifted from the shoulders of each student. And yet… the sound blurred into incoherence as one student sat with her friends around. A blank stare in her eyes, lips ever so slightly parted, mind adrift. She did not want to be there… she did not want to be with them…

Her phone screen shone bright, reflecting white nothingness in her glistening eyes as she attempted in vain to refresh the page. No change. Nothing new. Her heart yearned for anything, even just a “hi,” but deep down she hoped for something deeper, something that she could read and re-read time and time again. But no message arrived… The only words she saw were that of the previous night’s sign-off. “Goodnight and sweet dreams. I’ve got a busy day tomorrow, but I’ll message you as soon as I can. Don’t miss me too much. Oh, and don’t message me until after you’ve heard from me. It will make sense in the moment.”

It had been only three months since she began speaking with the one she now yearned to be with… It had only been three weeks before she wasn’t simply some friend… She couldn’t help but think back on everything thus far as she continually swiped, wishing that something would come in, aching to send the first text, but knowing well that she was explicitly told not to do so. Her heart was racing with anticipation, as she unknowingly swayed forward and back in her seat, leg twitching as she bit at her lip.

“Anna… Anna! ANNA!!” “Wh…what’s wrong?” Her trance broke. “You’re really just not here again, are you? Quit zoning out and tell us already!” One of her friends spoke jovially. “Tell you? What am I telling you?” Confusion filled the void of her mind. “Oh my god you seriously were out of it. Your grades! How’d you do? We all aced most of ‘em.” Another friend shook her head as she spoke. “Oh… oh… um… I… did exactly how I wanted to!” Anna was nearly whimpering as she spoke these words, knowing well she nearly failed every single exam… Knowing well that rather than study with her friends, she secluded herself and studied with a method given to her by someone dear to her. Only Anna knew the truth… only she knew how good it felt to edge the world away, while attempting in vain to read the notes and textbook units containing all the contents she was tested on… and being made to think about how she managed to barely pass while making her self a dumber, needier toy… well, her panties were soaked through as she recalled it all. The truth was that during each exam, she could barely focus, humping against her fingers in secrecy as her mind ached to be bound snugly, bent over and used like nothing more than a fleshlight.

She excused herself, and scurried back to her dorm.

The day progressed, day became night, and still she received no message… and still she waited. And come the next morning, she had finally reached her breaking point.

She typed frantically, begging to be called so she could speak. Barely able to spell as it was, she was desperate for any word… but no response came… not by text. Her phone buzzed, and she picked up… not a word was spoken by her caller. She begged. She pleaded. She spoke of how she felt when her friends made her recall her study methods, and how even though she didn’t tell them how she studied, she felt like they knew… or would know… and it made her more desperate.

Still nothing in return.

Her mind was running wild, words spilling from her lips as she babbled on and on… Eventually, the right words came out… “Please just… just… make me show them… I need them to know, I can’t hide it anymore… I have that toy… we’re meeting for lunch again… just… break me in front of them, I’m begging you, say something, please, I need you.” She was on the verge of tears.

Finally, she heard a voice in return. “Very good, Anna.” She shuddered and whispered, “P…please don’t call me that, you know you gave me a better name…” “Oh that’s right… how silly of me… You know, you lasted longer than I expected before you finally snapped and came pleading to me… I’ve been waiting for you to finally cave.” The voice laughed gently, and Anna nearly melted, knowing she had played right into the trap laid for her. “Now then… you’re going to wear your little toy to lunch, are you? And you’re going to sit at the big round table, the eight of you girls just gossiping and enjoying your meals once again?” “Y…yes, yes I will, and yes that’s the plan… Oh, a couple of us are picking up tacos first, but not everyone.

The call progressed, the call ended, and Anna was off, dressed as she was told, in a short pleated skirt and snug blouse, her vibrator stuffed in her panties, turned on, connected to the phone of the voice… just waiting… waiting… waiting.

As she stood on line with three of her friends, giggling and joking, she felt a light buzz. She leapt with a quiet yelp. “You ok?” Her friends were looking at her, puzzled. “J…just a chill is all!” She shyly shuddered.

As they walked back to campus, another buzz. She stopped mid sentence, bit her lip and took a deep breath before making an excuse… “Dammit, I need to sneeze and I can't… I hate my fucking allergies.”

In time, the eight girls sat round in the dining hall once more. Sharing stories and jokes. Speaking of schoolwork and their struggles with some homework question. Suddenly, Anna realized the gravity of her pleas earlier…

The vibrator spun to life and she quickly pressed her thighs together. High and low. High and low. High and… it stayed. Over and over, no pattern, no method to the madness, just chaotic vibrations.

She bit her lip hard, holding back her soft moans. Her eyes glazed over as she stared down at the table. No one had noticed her yet. She could feel that she had begun to drool, she couldn’t stop it. Her hands were pressed between her legs, clenching tight as she squinted her eyes and breathed heavier, faster, shuddering. She had lost the time so quickly she hadn’t a clue that it had already been twenty three minutes of increasing agony, the world fading away, before…

“Hey, Anna, you ok?” She could barely hear the words her friend spoke to her. A hand on her shoulder, shaking her gently side to side. “Anna? You good?”

Anna opened her mouth, a gasping moan escaping before she muttered… “F…f…fuck why doesn’t he just bend me over and rape me in front of you all!”

The girls all looked to each other, confused, then back to Anna, realizing she was bucking her hips, moaning softly, muttering in desperation about how she just needed to be his dumb rapesleeve… how she was desperate to be stretched and pumped full of cum… how she needed everyone to see her for what she is…

A hand back on her shoulder. “Hey… Just tell us… you want this, right?” She nodded. “Oh my god! I knew it! You’re such a desperate slut!” Another laughed. The vibrator wouldn’t stop…

Anna looked down to her phone, a new message awaited… two words. “Tell them."

And so she did. She exposed her study methods. Admitted she edged even during her exams. And she was surprised that her friends were genuinely curious how she managed to pass, even if barely, in such a state. She told them all the depraved acts she’s been doing, the ones she’s been dripping at the thought of… told them everywhere she wore that vibrator… Again, surprise when she heard “So when do I get to borrow that?”

Lunch progressed, and after, all seven of her friends walked Anna to one of their dorm rooms. She could barely walk straight, the vibrator still tormenting her endlessly.

As soon as the door closed, she was sat in a desk chair, as her friends began to sit all around. A screen was put in front of Anna’s eyes. A group message to read… As a hand gripped her throat… “She’ll be wearing her remote vibrator to lunch, exposing herself as I torment her. Go along with it, then take her back to the room we talked about.” A whisper in her ear “We’ve known for like… what, five weeks now? All of us.” She shuddered… then heard another voice, deeper… familiar… “It’s funny how you hadn’t a clue that while I made you torment yourself, I was sharing it all with your friends. They helped me, you know? Helped me understand when and where I could best make you humiliate yourself. Pretending to not notice when you were fingering yourself in class, or during a study session. Telling me whether you truly did the tasks you were told to. I couldn’t have broken your mind without them, so it was only fitting that they be here to see me break that little dripping body of yours too… They actually asked to help with that too…”

Bound… By her own friends.

Clothes torn and cut. Laughter all around.

Used… Used… Used…

She could barely remember a thing come the next morning, but her body was sore, and she was in her friend’s bed rather than her own, a towel under her, and cum leaking from her ass and cunt still. She grabbed her phone, only to be greeted with a picture of her, bound in a chair, nude, drenched with piss and cum, with “RAPEMEAT” written across her chest, and her girlfriends all around, mockingly using face ahegao faces… but her own face was blank, barely present, broken. Her heart throbbed, her clit throbbed. She bit her lip and knew this was exactly where she belonged.