#every time i told a doctor the gatorade smelled like paint thinner they asked why i drank it

[iwriteshakespeareanninsults]

your unhinged vibes bring me unparalleled joy on the dash. i'm obsessed with you and i miss you and i have taylor swift stickers for you. also my guesses for the lies are new type of mold and mom's gambling ring although it would also not surprise me to learn that your mom did in fact run a gambling ring ok never mind i'm changing my answer i think you didn't sprain both ankles still love you bye again xoxo vivi

i feel like the fact someone who has known me for 7 years and i used to be bff's with believes it's feasible my mom ran a gambling ring simply proves how truly unhinged my life is.

No haha, I fell down the stairs yesterday and sprained both my ankles. during the first official day of finals too.

You are correct though, no new subspecies of mold! just whatever is growing in my gatorade (which according to the food scientist could be a new subspecies of bacteria and, knowing me, it would be).

anyway sniff ur gatorade before u drink it and take the elevator, those are my life lessons for the semester