#every time i see these two together i think of the abridged series

[hourly-yugi]

[ronearoundblindly]

The Dignity of His Choice (abridged ending)

Speedy version of Reflections Part II & III (see previous or series) Steve Rogers x wife!Reader

Alright, this may not be conventional, but I'm crippled by guilt over this story. There are so many elements that hit brutally close to home based on a personal experience this past year (arguably this past decade but whatevs), and so I have sifted through 28 A4-sized pages, front-to back, and 17 smaller pages, front-to back (save one sheet), as well as a typed-up 7k, in hopes of grasping this magical redemption arc that exists in my mind and falls flat everywhere else. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of loving this story so much that nothing is good enough, and I'm sick of hoping to offer a conclusion that never f***ing comes. Welp, today you can know the conclusion--or the gist of it at least--because that is my Christmas gift to myself. I'm washing myself of the guilt. -> What follows is an extremely unedited and maybe slightly poetic summary of the finale. God, I hope you enjoy it, but really, I just want to feel like I *can* finish something. Sorry if that's dramatic; that's just...the situation of 2023.

Thank you in advance for your understanding, and I hope this serves up some sort of holiday cheer! (No real warnings because smut is reserved for the full-length version. This tale, as always, is 18+ due to very heavy themes.)

The thing is Steve doesn't regret his choice. How can he regret anything that ensured you were here, alive and happy, by his side? That's not an achievement he'll ever be ashamed of; there's no guarantee in the multiverse that he could have done better.

You spoke of being lucky. You felt guilt that of all the servicemen and women to lose their lives, yours came home in the end.

Steve doesn't see it that way. Yes, you and he are very, very lucky, but overall, Steve won.

In every war, there are battles. In battles, there are fights. In fights, there are shots taken, punches thrown. You don't need to land every punch to win a war. There are always losses.

Steve Rogers tends to win because he understands this.

He knows the value of strategy. He knows the value of hope. He especially knows the value of planning for the worst.

And so he's surprised--as he often is with you--that he hasn't lost more.

You accept the loss as well as the win. You endure more gracefully than he ever imagined possible during those long months alone and away.

His sacrifice may have played a factor in your safety, but in the end, it just came down to you. You fought for yourself. You battled for your beliefs. You warred for your convictions.

Steve can understand that. He admires it.

He plans to make this dreadful mess up to you, he hopes for the time to do so, but before he can strategize how, your bubble of isolation is burst by a knock at the door.

"Open up, Rogers. Please," Sam Wilson requests anxiously over F.R.I.D.A.Y.'s speaker.

He could simply mean you since you are a Rogers and neither of you have heard the okay that the world knows Steve's alive. Although, Steve still doesn't have a phone again, and you haven't exactly been checking yours during recent...activities... (Not to put too fine a point on it, but Bucky's little gifts aren't going to miraculously last eight days and nights.)

Steve stays in the corner of the kitchen, drying his hands from the dishes you two were washing together, while you answer the door.

It swings open in the direction that still hides Steve.

"Hey--" Steve hears the soft pause in Wilson's voice "--I think...I may be out of line here, but Stark ordered personnel to vacate the compound."

You cross your arms over your chest, nervous. "Do we need to leave? I--As in, you and I? Are we included in that?"

"No," Sam says flatly. "It's just...suspicious--look, can I come in?"

"Sam, wait!" You push to make a wall in the doorway, meaning Steve can no longer see you or what's happening while a silence, an extremely pregnant pause, stretches.

Afterward, there's a whisper.

"Is he here?"

Your reply is only a stutter of unfinished words, but that's enough. Sam's stepped past and halted a few feet inside before his scanning gaze lands on Steve.

Steve's not sure what he expects his friend to do. He's misjudging reactions left and right these days, so he can't presume that--

"Gym?" Sam ticks his arm, thumb pointing back out to the hall. "I'm going for a run."

He has to convince you and Steve that the whole place really has been cleared before Steve changes clothes.

The string-light and garland-lined corridors remind Steve that his apartment remains devoid of any festive touches. You two have been too distracted to realize it's the day before Christmas Eve, so the 'evacuation' will likely draw no attention from the average employee.

Stark is just adamant they have the holiday for family. That's all. The only people who live there are Avengers.

The smell of the rubber floor when they walk onto the track spikes nostalgia in the back of Steve's brain, and in his utter joy to be there again, he starts sprinting like old times.

His blood pumps and his lungs stretch, but it's too hard, too fast. His blood thunders in his ears and makes his head swim. His lungs burn fiercely and seize. He collapses, gasping through his weakest asthma attack yet, but it still happens.

Things are almost, almost the same. Things are still different.

Without taking the opportunity to gloat (too much), Sam uses his powers, skills he's had all along, to divine Steve's real fear:

Steve changed things, and he may have changed things so much that it's all ruined. He can't go back to being Cap because he showed his colors: he chose you over everything else. What if you can't go back to being his wife because of that same choice?

Sam helps Steve off the floor.

"You walked the same circle for a long time, buddy. Instead of getting off the track entirely, try one lane over. Baby steps."

Steve snorts. "Ya know, she said something similar."

"Yeah, well, some of us filled in the stoic charm while you were gone."

"Comes naturally to you, doesn't it?"

Wilson turns to walk backwards, flashing pearly whites. "The outfit is growing on me, and I think the press were just about to stop calling me Black Cap." He playfully punches Steve's shoulder. "We'll see how far this sets me back, huh?"

After realizing he has to take it easy, Steve enjoys a long, mostly quiet run beside his friend, never once passing him. Though Steve asks about returning tomorrow, Sam has to decline. Christmas Eve is for Sarah and her boys, and Sam's sister will raise hell if crossed.

Just before leaving the gym, Sam hugs Steve, the length and intensity of the embrace telling Steve all he needs to know. Sam--like everyone else who knows so far--is happier than he is hurt, and that stifles Steve in a torrent of humility.

He doesn't deserve the strength of this family built around him, but he is grateful.

Steve also doesn't expect to find Natasha and Bucky in his apartment when he returns. He was hoping to put up some decorations with you, bring a touch of joyous spirit to that place you've been emotionally entombed for months, but he outright frowns when seeing the box they brought.

Between you and Nat sits the bin of intel the Keepers gathered on you and left behind at a raided facility. You're pouring over the dirty details of horrible intrusion to your private life, both you and Steve's, and he can't help but watch your face closely.

You do look horrified. You look furious for minutes on end, file after file, until you finally ask, "who's had stuff like this on you guys?"

That's the thing. That's the part eating away at Steve's shame. It's why he can't be beyond a superficial level of sorry for what he's done.

"The Red Room," Nat replies softly.

Buck shrugs. "Hydra...among others."

Steve knows what that intel could have been a precursor to; they could manipulate more than just him. You could have been used, you could have been changed, and it would have been his fault. Extremes are most of his life, so Steve goes to extreme measures to keep his life separate from all of that.

Blurring those lines--bringing you closer to the fray of this scary and violent world feels irresponsible.

You continue to ask candid questions about what Nat and Bucky were doing this whole time. The response is grueling, a complex web of taking out targets without signaling an ulterior motive, every interaction carefully executed to seem natural, all the while knowing that Steve waited to come home and you waited for...well, the truth.

The way Natasha describes it makes Steve sick to his stomach.

He never wanted this, but he has to live with the consequences.

You thumb over a few stalking photographs in your hand and simply say, "that was quite a commitment."

Something triggers in Steve, and suddenly, his next move is crystal clear.

"I'll--I'll be right back," he blurts.

All three of you startle in confusion, sat around the coffee table like it's the most normal thing in the world to share so much. You've had top clearance for twenty-four hours. You're already a pro, and that makes Steve's idea that much more perfect.

He races through the building, glad he doesn't have to hide, and pounds on Tony's door.

As soon as Tony opens up though, Morgan rushes past his legs and lets out a blood-curdling cry that ends in a sobbing, "you're alive."

The little girl flings herself into Steve's arms, refusing to let go the entire time he asks Stark--all the Starks--for a favor.

You wake up the next morning to find a note from Steve and a dress of yours hung by the tree you put up after a long meal with Nat and Bucky.

Important errand, the note reads. Expect Tony to come by at 11. Wear this, please. I love you.

It's the dress you chose for your first date with Steve, the date that kinda never happened because the compound was invaded and you had to kill a guy. Odd memory to resurrect, but you do adore that dress.

You're not surprised when Tony arrives in one of his signature suits, nor when he makes a show of walking you through the halls on his arm. He has the uncanny ability to chat about nothing using the maximum number of words. He's delightful that way.

Your first real clue is Morgan, standing outside some double doors to one of the flex rooms, like the ones changed for training different abilities, like the ones used for therapy circles. In fact, it's the same room, the exact same double doors as years ago.

The girl looks fit to burst, clearly told to keep her cheers to a minimum as she clutches a wicker Easter basket in her hands, crouching as if ready to spring into action.

Pepper stands close by. Nat and Bucky whisper conspiratorially a ways down the hall.

Then you notice.

Tony has on a black suit with red pin-stripes, Pepper a blue dress with a white belt, Natasha a red dress with a white belt, and Bucky a navy suit with a black-shirt underneath.

"We did our best on short notice," Tony rambles off, guiding you to a stop in front of the party.

"This is for you," Morgan squeaks, ripping a colorful bundle of pipe cleaners out of the basket. There are buttons woven to the tops of each 'stem.'

Pepper quickly adds, "wild flowers were...a bit scarce, as you can imagine."

You brave a single question.

"What's going on?"

Everyone just beams at you, falling into a pattern of pairs behind Morgan before Tony winks and tells you to follow his lead.

The doors open, and there, at the end of the aisle, stands Steve--your Steve--in his old Captain America outfit minus the cowl. His hair is still long and darker, but his beard is properly trimmed.

All you can think is how you'll tease him about that.

You pinch at the leather sleeve in curiosity, and Steve leans over.

"This is the last thing I'll ever do in it," he says before kissing your cheek. "Promise."

"Says the guy who's stolen it twice," Tony mutters from his place on the other side of Bucky.

"He has a point," Nat chimes in.

The poor priest clears his throat and bellows, "dearly beloved..."

He keeps his promise.

At a press conference just before New Year's, Steve is announced as one of those rescued from "an enemy base" in an undisclosed location.

The crowd of reporters erupts in a chaos of inquisition, but all Steve will give them, standing there in a simple sweater and slacks, is his official resignation of the title Cap.

"What do we call you then?" someone shouts from the back.

"Just Steve. I am Steve Rogers, that's all." He looks to his left for the comfort of your face. "And this--" he grabs your hand "--is Mrs. Rogers, my soulmate."

@im-a-slut-for-fluff @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @fangirl-swagg @georgeweaslysgirl @austynparksandpizza @bucky-fricking-barnes-reads @fallinallinmendes @claireelizabeth85 @patzammit @supraveng @1950schick @jamneuromain @yiiiikesmish @ashesofblackroses @spectre-posts

A/N: and yes, the full-version will be written eventually.

[Main Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

[calliethetrekkie]

Star Trek TOS S01E02: The Corbomite Maneuver

Original Thoughts

"Boring. Is this gonna be like the Star Trek movie curse? Where every odd numbered episode is meh at best and stupid at worse, while all the even numbered episodes are at least interesting? All I remember after watching it is that they dealt with an alien force that originally looked like a Rubix Cube without the squares. Oh and the voice of Ted Cassidy, that was nice~ But yeah, otherwise it was boring. Not unwatchable, but forgettable, 2/5."

(Original Post)

Rewatch Thoughts

The only thing meh at best and stupid at worst is that opinion. Shame on you Callie from two years ago! Also, I kept calling it 'Corbonite Maneuver' for some reason. Whoops.

Okay really, I think the reason that I felt that way was because I was watching the show in the order they had it on streaming. In other words, the airing order, not the production order. Thus, when compared to episodes like The Naked Time and The Enemy Within which were pretty intense episodes, this one came off as slow and uneventful in comparison. Had I watched it in production order, this would have been first after the two pilot episodes and I likely wouldn't have had as much of an issue with it. I'd have probably still found it boring, but it wouldn't feel as big of a letdown as the first time.

But here we are two years later. I had watched the episode again in-between then and now and had come around to it. It's funny how different your perception can be after you go back after watching the whole series through. The Man Trap is a great example, but we'll get there later. I'd already done some meta analysis on the episode, so feel free to check that out. It's mainly a McKirk post analyzing how their professional relationship can conflict as well as their personal relationship that I feel is especially vital in this episode. I'm probably gonna give it a do-over on my main blog down the line. But I'll give the abridged version of it and my other thoughts here.

As far as the episode itself goes, it's still not my favorite by any means, but I wouldn't rank it as low as I did originally. Watching it as a series premiere, this one does the job perfectly. It establishes our captain, the main crew members we'll be seeing, and what we can expect from the show. It may seem a bit, for lack of a better word, cheap to a modern audience. But I can imagine had this aired properly, this would have wowed the audiences of the 60's. There's also some legitimate tension about how Kirk was going to pull them out of this mess and with how rather... harsh and stressed he was, it shows that for all his flaws, he is very much an effective captain.

Kirk having problems isn't a bad thing either. There's plenty of growth for him as a captain. Here we see him stressed, demanding, and pushing things way too hard. He demands simulations to be conducted while the ship is still being repaired AND while the officers are still getting their wits together. It's especially clear with navigator Bailey, who is barely holding himself together. He's tense, uncertain, eventually freezes up and later has a full-on breakdown from all the stress and fear. McCoy even tries to get Kirk to see this and quit pushing too hard, but Kirk is incapable of doing so at this moment. This may be the Enterprise's first major crisis since Kirk became captain, and thus everything is on his shoulders. He's stressed. His stress is causing everyone else stress as he's trying to figure out what to do. By the end, he manages to effectively get them out of danger with both his bluff about corbomite and then leading the crew to breaking from the tractor beam.

And in the end, it's clear that Kirk isn't a bad guy. He is very much devoted to the mission of discovering new worlds and new life. Even after everything, he chooses to help Balok when the distress signal goes out and tries to make things up to bailey by letting him be the first along with himself and McCoy to have the first encounter. Which leads to bailey essentially becoming their ambassador... which whether letting him stay maybe wasn't the best idea, but he saw that Bailey wanted to do it and allowed it. And at the end of the day, that is their mission. To exchange information and cultures with other worlds.

We do a lot of good character establishing. We have Kirk of course, but McCoy also gets it really well. He puts off a red alert to finish Kirk's physical while he has the chance, showing that he's a doctor before all else. He's frequently trying to guide Jim to take notice of the crew's mental state while also trying to ease Kirk's own state. He provokes an argument with Kirk regarding Bailey's breakdown despite the fact they're potentially minutes away from death, which is what gets Kirk to actually snap. He had no problem talking back to the captian, even threatening to report him to his face, but considering he chose to do so at the worst moment shows a level of short-sightedness when focused on a certain thing. For a guy who didn't get any top billing until Season 2, they clearly knew that DeForest Kelley as McCoy was gonna be a stand-out and indeed he was.

It also establishes Kirk and McCoy's relationship really well from the get-go. While them having an argument like this is rare, it shows how it can happen. You could even say that they both learn from it and try to be more understanding of each other's concerns and position later. It doesn't always work, but it's a step in the right direction. And they both know their fault and apologize. You can tell that even this early on, they have a close bond. Kirk noticeably eases up and opens up around McCoy moreso than anyone else, aside from a little with Spock. He's not even using Bones yet, but that could be because he's trying to be the professional captain, but after this eases up on that. Really, I could go on all day about these two, but again that's for my main blog. But with how major their relationship truly is and how it often gets overshadowed by Kirk/Spock and Spock/McCoy, it's nice to see it so early on and done so well.

Aside from that, there isn't much more to say. It's a good episode. Not great, but nowhere near as bad as I made it out in my original watchthrough. Spock doesn't have a lot for me to go over aside from being established as the logical second-in-command. The little scene where McCoy says he'd love to teach Spock poker is cute though, and outright hilarious considering how they interact later. But hey gotta start somewhere haha. Overall, it's a good episode. It isn't great, but as an introduction to ST, the cast, and the show's purpose? It nails it perfectly and was enjoyable. It certainly wasn't boring or forgettable this time around.

Oh and because I'm an animation nerd, hearing Ted Cassidy (most well known as Lurch in The Addams Family and various animation roles) as Balok was still an utter joy~!

Original Ranking: 2/5

Rewatch Ranking: 6/10

[My TOS Reviews]

[TOS S1 Reviews]

[Next Review]

[americangirlstar]

Now that both Courtney books are out and I’ve read and processed them both, I do want to say that I think they’re the least well-written of any of the AG books, but not through any fault of their own- let me explain.

(Note that for this discussion I’m ignoring the Doylist criticisms- Courtney and 3/4 of her friend group being white again, the lack of gay discussion in-text in regards to the HIV crisis, etc. These are valid complaints and concerns, but not what we’re talking about right now.)

The Problem with the Current Book Length

I think the main problem with Courtney stems from the fact her books are so short. American Girl has literally been doing the stupidest things in regards to their books lately, almost as if they’re trying to sabotage them on purpose. First they remove illustrations in 2015- when their target audience is about nine years old. I don’t know about you, but when I was six and getting into American Girl, the illustrations were the highlight for me. Not because I had no attention span and loved pretty pictures, but because it showed me firstly what the girl’s life was like, whether it be 1760s wilderness or 2001 Chicago. It was like stepping into their world, really helping you get into their heads, which was basically what the dolls were supposed to do, to let you know that girls like you exist throughout time and space.

As well as that, the illustrations were free advertisement. I can’t tell you how excited me and my sisters were as children to go to the American Girl place and look at the doll displays, shouting that that’s the dress Felicity wears to the ball! or look, Josefina’s goat looks exactly like the book! AG cut that from 2015 to 2020, as if they were trying to appeal to an older audience- while at the same time changing all the doll outfits, accessories and marketing to appeal to a younger demographic.

Now, this isn’t about the illustrations, as Courtney got those- it’s about what they did to the historical characters after the Illustration Outrage™ happened. See, they’d condensed the historical six-book format into two books- not necessarily a bad idea, parents would be more likely to buy two books for their kid than consider buying six. However, they then claimed that if they put illustrations back, they would have to abridge the books- literally my nightmare.

First of all, American Girl, we know for a fact you can fit all six books plus illustrations into ONE VOLUME, let alone two. You’re just being cowards here and trying to nerf your own stories for... some reason.

So that meant a lot of important things got cut- Rebecca’s Chanukah story, Melody’s cousin’s house search, Maryellen’s Christmas adventure... all things important to the girls’ histories and character.

The Problem with Courtney’s Writing

Now, Courtney was the first doll to be released after the abridging began, meaning her books were released, in their entirety, just as short as the abridged stories. So it basically means she gets four books while the others get six- and unlike the others, Courtney doesn’t even have mysteries or short stories to pad out. (And honestly, looking at her book’s amount of content, I’d even argue that she basically got two while everyone else got six, but I digress.)

The problem with her books isn’t that they have an author writing them poorly (I really feel like her author was doing the best with what limited time she had), but in how cramped American Girl made them. Because, well, Courtney has to deal with a lot in such a short amount of words.

Let’s compare her to Julie, for instance- Julie pretty much has a new 70s thing every book. In order: feminism, rising divorce rates, San Francisco’s Chinese culture, environmentalism, the country’s bicentennial, anti-bullying and deaf acceptance. And adding to this, we also have her own personal journies through her parents’ divorce and move, her basketball team, her friendship with Ivy (and later Joy), overcoming her fear of horses, student council, detention... It’s a lot, and yet her books don’t feel rushed or forced at all. It’s just a year in the life of a girl going through a lot of new and sudden events, and how she grows and changes throughout them. She may not be as deep a character as Addy or Kirsten, but not every girl goes through the trials and tribulations they do, and it’s a good series overall.

Courtney, meanwhile, does feel rushed and forced, because of the short timespan. Instead of fitting everything into a six-book format- or even at two-book format that is the same length and content as the six-book- everything has to be fit into two short books.   Everything Courtney has to cover includes the topics of divorce and stepfamilies, feminist and technological advancement, the Challenger explosion, the HIV crisis, Hands Across America, and the founding of Pleasant Company. And in Courtney’s own journey, she has to cover her learning to stand up for herself, her relationship with her stepsister and Tina’s own character development, her mother running for mayor and how that affects her, how much she misses her Dad after he moves, her friendship with Sarah (note on that later), her basically getting hate-crimed after standing up for her friend... that’s a LOT of stuff, and I didn’t even include the non-AG 80s product placement they shove into her collection.

But without the longer format, everything is pushed together to its detriment. Tina’s development and Maureen’s mayoral candidacy are two plotlines that are literally dropped and almost completely ignored in the second book. The Challenger and HIV issues were handled decently, but the Challenger only lasted a few short chapters, and the HIV topic was not as informative as it could be, leaving out several things like Reagan’s refusal to treat it for so long, and its effect on the gay community. Honestly, the HIV scare was more shifted to focus on the mob mentality of a new and scary disease- which, while needed right now, also ignores many of the bigotry-related reasons it became an epidemic. Pleasant Company’s inclusion feels forced in, and I think was the only resolution she had to her Dad plotline?

And don’t get me started on the Sarah plotline- every Girl of the Year since Kanani- sans Isabelle and Luci- has had the story of “oh no I’ve been ignoring my friend and now they’re mad at me :(” and it’s SO old. Seriously, I counted the contemporary dolls that have had that storyline, and it’s thirteen*. Thirteen times we’ve covered this issue- almost all of it in quick succession- and now we have to deal with it in a historical character book while much more important things are going on! Yes, it sucks when a friend ditches you while you’re being attacked and bullied for something you’re standing up for, but once again, with how much is happening in such a short book, it just feels like a forced-in plotline that we’ve seen a billion times, and with their falling-out happening mainly due to the attention Courtney was given Isaac, it serves to make Sarah seem closed-minded at best and bigoted at worst- it’s clarified that she’s not, she’s just scared and upset with Courtney, but when you put those events so close together, it leads the reader to lump them together and get the impression that, you know, Sarah is a worse person than she is.

*Full count: Nicki (book 2), Chrissa (book 2), Kanani (2), McKenna (1 iirc?), Saige (both books), Grace (2), Lea (3), Gabriela (1 and 3), Tenney (2), Z (1), Blaire (1), Joss (1) and Kira (1).

It’s a bit weird, too, that Courtney’s... what’s the word? Vibe? with her how her story is written and marketed Is closer to the Contemporaries than the Historicals. Am I the only one feeling this? My best explanation for it is that the author, Kellen Hertz, had only written contemporary books for American Girl before- the third Lea Clark book and all four Tenney Grant books, both of which contained the Friendship Issues™ plot. I’m not at all saying she’s a bad author- I honestly love the way the Tenney books are written- and I’m not saying she couldn’t write a historical book, but it’s clear American Girl didn’t ask her to change up her style or content from what she’d done for them before, as well as giving her way too much to cover in such short books.

Conclusion

Honestly, this conclusion should be obvious- American Girl needs to expand their books again. Whether they simply allow the books to be unabridged, or go back to the six-book format, Courtney's books are too cramped to tell an effective story, let alone the poor abridged girls.

The other girls were given six-book length, so if they went back to that length or format, Courtney would have to be rewritten, at least a little- and that’s okay! There’s a lot of things that could use expansion or connection, such as her Summer trip with her Dad that was given basically one sentence in the text. Her growth with her stepfamily could be acknowledged- and honestly? I think that if these books were expanded, her mother’s mayoral arc should either continue through the books, or Maureen should become mayor before the book 2 arc. I’ve mentioned this before, but having Maureen as mayor (or even still a candidate) would put a lot of pressure on Courtney to be perfect so that nobody can say “look at how awful this woman is for doing politics instead of raising her family right”- which means that when the Isaac stuff happens, it has even more stakes for Courtney and her family. Does her Mom still support her with her own reputation on the line, and what does that say about Maureen’s character, how does it affect Courtney and the D’Amicos... that’s all fascinating stuff that was completely missed out on.

And if she was turned into a six-book format- honestly, here’s how I’d do it, just off the top of my head. It would involve a bit of event shuffling, but honestly I think it would work!

Meet Courtney - pretty much the setup for everything happening, her starting to get her Crystal Starshooter plans and her mom’s campaign beginning.

Courtney Learns a Lesson - her relationship to Tina, culminating in the Challenger incident.

Courtney’s Surprise - we move the founding of Pleasant Company over here, since Molly’s basically her Christmas Present. We’ll probably need an additional plotline- maybe similar to Julie, she can have a story on spending the holidays in different places.

Happy Birthday Courtney - end of summer, aka meeting Isaac and her trip with her Dad.

Courtney Saves the Day - Beginning of the HIV arc, ending at her presentation to her class.

Changes for Courtney - Continuation of the HIV arc as things get worse for her and Isaac, ending where Friendship Superhero ends.

Is that a perfect sorting? Probably not, I came up with it in ten minutes. But would it give Courtney space to breathe and more time to explore everything happening to her? Probably!

The tl;dr of this is honestly that American Girl are absolute cowards right now, and need to expand their books back. Their abridging is only harming their stories- which, as Courtney herself points out, are the reason girls got into their company in the first place.

[shihalyfie]

Kizuna itself vs. the two versions of the novel

Written on request from a friend who wanted to remain anonymous. This is more of an editorial than a meta, and while I usually have a policy of “this is an analysis blog, not a review blog” it goes into more of my personal impressions and opinions than usual, but it’s something I write hoping to be helpful.

There are basically three “official” full versions of Kizuna: one being, of course, the movie itself, one being the Dash X Bunko version of the novel, and one being the Shueisha Mirai Bunko version of it. While it’s certainly not to say that any of the three is an “incomplete” version of the narrative, if you really want as full of a picture of the story as possible, somehow, each of all three versions of the story happens to have really important information that the other two do not. If I had to pick only one of these three versions to recommend to people, I would of course pick the movie itself; it’s obviously the base story everything else is based off of and was the one the production centered around as a priority, but the novelizations have a surprising amount of info that provide a lot of insight into the movie’s story and themes.

I get the impression that the creation of Kizuna involved making a lot more story and background details than could fit in a 95-minute movie, so these novelizations, which were based directly off the original movie script, ended up being an outlet for a lot of these details (and as much as I could be harsh on the movie itself for being a bit “reliant” on extra material, I have to admit that Adventure and 02 were both like this too -- a lot of our current understanding of the series comes from the Adventure novels and drama CDs -- so frankly I’m thankful we at least got this with a 95-minute movie instead of a yearlong series). On the flip side, while I'm not going to say that the novels are completely and utterly inaccurate representations of the movie, in a perhaps too-close approximation of Adventure and 02's writing style, this is a movie where even the nuances in a single line or split-second moment carry heavy implications, which become much blurrier or harder to identify when they’re presented differently (or not even presented at all) in the novel’s context, especially when they emphasize very different things from what the movie itself was emphasizing.

The short version of this is that I believe the Dash X version contains the greater amount of “plot and story” information but significantly misses out on the emotional themes and presentation, whereas the Shueisha Mirai version abridges and cuts chunks of content but is much better at conveying the intended message. More on this below the cut. (Note that the following post spoils Kizuna’s plot events.)

The movie itself

Since the following parts are more “in comparison to the movie”, I’m not going to go too much into this in this section, but one thing I will say is that the official English subtitle translation for the movie is really not great. Even if you take out nitpickiness about the fact it misses several significant nuances (the difference between “unchangeable fate” and “changeable destiny”, or the fact that Gennai refers to partnership dissolution as a “case” and not like it’s something that happens overall) at really plot-important moments, some lines (thankfully, usually not plot-important ones) are just straight-up incorrect. And worse, there’s evidence the official English dub was based on that translation! (I’m not faulting the people in charge of the dub for this, but whoever handed them that translation to work with.)

The dialogue in the Dash X Bunko version is transcribed effectively word-for-word from the dialogue in the movie (or perhaps vice versa, given that the novel is based on the original script), so I highly recommend checking that version as a reference for dialogue or if you want to do any intimate analysis on it. I don't want to go as far as to suggest not supporting the official version of the movie because of this, but at least please be aware that the translation used there is not entirely reliable.

Dash X Bunko

If you talk about “the Kizuna novel”, this is the one that people usually tend to be referring to, for two reasons. Firstly, it was translated shortly after the movie’s release, and due to the unfortunate circumstances of Kizuna being delayed in accessibility outside Japan for several months, this basically served as the only comprehensive source of info about the movie outside Japan for a very long time. Secondly, in Japan, this one was marketed as “the one for adults” in contrast to the Shueisha Mirai one being “for kids”, which meant that a lot of people assumed that the latter one was just an incredibly stripped down version that was otherwise disposable or replaceable. (This is very, very much not the case, and is extremely ironic when it comes to a movie that partially centers around the dangers of looking down too much on things associated with childhood.)

When it comes to “plot and story info”, this is the one that probably serves as the best reference (especially for fanfic writers or those who need a refresher on certain plot events or to look up something quickly), and probably has the most “comprehensive” listing of plot events surrounding the movie. The dialogue in it is a word-for-word recreation of the movie’s script, and actually includes more scenes than the movie itself does, including two that I suspect to be deleted scenes (a detailing of the specifics behind the initial plan to pursue Eosmon, and a conversation between Koushirou and Tentomon) and adaptations of the first and second memorial shorts within their context in the movie. It also contains some interesting background details and extra context for some things in the movie that you might think would normally be animation flair or something, but take a very interesting implication of story importance if they’re going out of their way to write this in the script. (There’s a scene where Agumon and Gabumon appear in front of their partners when they’d been behind them a minute before, and it’s easy to think this might be an animation error, but not only does the surrounding context make this unlikely, the novel itself actually directly states that their positions had changed.) Given that, I think it was very fortunate that this novel was available to us for those outside Japan waiting for the actual movie to come out, because this level of detail was very important to have on hand rather than fragmented spoilers on social media.

However, the part where I think the novel is significantly deficient in compared to the actual movie (and also to the other version of the novel) is that it describes the plot events in too blunt of a manner and doesn’t bring out its themes very well. (It’s kind of like having a long and very detailed Wikipedia article plot summary; it definitely got all the hard facts down, but the emotion is gone, which is still a pretty significant issue when media’s all about the feelings and message in the end.) While “considering the movie to be more cynical than it’s probably meant to be” happens regardless of which version someone’s working from, I’ve talked to perhaps an unnervingly high number of people who started with the novel and were absolutely convinced that the movie’s message was about adulthood sucking and needing to just accept it, until they saw how the actual movie pulled it off and the surrounding atmosphere and realized it definitely was not. (I think one really big factor here is that a lot of the visual imagery makes it extremely, extremely hard to miss that Menoa’s mentality is completely screwed up and her way of seeing things was dubious to begin with; prose descriptions really just don’t capture the way they slam this in your face with visual and musical cues during the climax of the movie.)

You can figure this out from the novel itself, but you have to really be looking closely at the way they word things, and on top of that it’s hard to figure out which parts you should be focusing on and which parts aren’t actually that important -- in other words, the “choice of priorities” gets a bit lost in there. Even the little things lose a lot of value; it’s theoretically possible to use the novel to put together that Daisuke is wearing his sunglasses indoors during his first scene, but you have to put together the context clues from completely different paragraphs to figure this out, none of which compares to the actual hilarity of visually seeing him wearing the thing in a very obviously dimly lit restaurant because he’s our beloved idiot. (For more details, please see my post with more elaboration on this and more examples of this kind of thing.)

I wouldn’t say that the movie itself isn’t guilty of (perhaps accidentally) having some degree of mixed messaging, but I would say this problem is rather exacerbated by the novel’s way of presenting it due to its dedication to dropping every single plot detail and event without much in the way of choosing what to contextualize and what to put emphasis on (as it turns out, treating practically everything in the movie as if it has equal weight might not be a great idea). So, again, for that reason I think the novel serves as a good reference in terms of remembering what happened in it and knowing the movie’s contents, but I also feel that it’s really not the greatest deliverer of the movie’s message or themes at all.

Shueisha Mirai Bunko

The second version of the novel was not translated until several months after the movie first released, and shortly before the Blu-ray and streaming versions of the movie itself came out anyway, so my impression is that on this end a lot of people don’t even know it was a thing. On top of that, even those who know about it often dismiss it as the “kid version” -- and to be fair, it did baffle quite a few people as to why this version even exists (Kizuna is technically not unacceptable for kid viewing and its plot is still understandable regardless of age, but since the movie is so heavily about the millennial existential crisis, it’s not something kids would really relate to). So a lot of people tended to just skip over it...which is really a shame, because it contains some interesting things that actually aren’t in the other two versions at all. For instance, did you know that, as of this writing, this is the only thing that plainly states the specific explanation for why Yamato decided to become an astronaut, for the first time in 20 real-life years?

While there are still some things that weren’t in the movie proper (mainly the Eosmon initial plan and the adaptation of the second memorial short), for the most part, the actual events are somewhat abridged compared to the movie and the Dash X version, and other than a few stray lines, there’s not a lot of extra information that would be as helpful for referencing the events of the plot. The version of the novel here is rather broadly interpretive of the scenes in the movie, so several things are condensed or taken out (and, amusingly, because it’s assuming that the kids reading this don’t actually know the original Adventure or 02, it has to describe what each character is like in a quick one-liner).

However, interestingly enough, it’s because it’s so heavily interpretive that it illuminates a lot of things that weren’t really easy to glean out of the Dash X version. For instance:

Some scenes are described with “other perspectives” that give you info on someone else’s point of view. (For instance, we see more of Yamato’s perspective and thoughts when he has his first phone call with Daisuke, or a bit more detail in the process of how Eosmon kidnappings work.)

We get a lot more information on what’s going through everyone’s heads during each scene, and what emotions they’re feeling at a given time. (This is something that you could at least get to some degree in the movie itself from facial expressions and framing, but would often be a lot blurrier in the Dash X version; here, it’s spelled out in words.)

When things are abridged, you get a clearer idea of what the intended point and theme of the scene was because it’s stripped down to include only that part. In one really interesting case, the scene with Agumon finding Taichi’s AVs has a “censored” equivalent where Taichi’s pushed to a corner because he can’t find anything non-alcoholic in his fridge -- so when you look at the two versions of the scene and what they have in common, you can figure out that the point isn’t that it was a lewd joke for the sake of it, but rather that Taichi’s forcing himself into boxes of “adulthood” that are actually meaningless and impractical.

Some of the descriptions of the characters, scenes, and background information make it a lot more obvious as to their purpose in the narrative (it outright confirms that Miyako being in Spain means that her personality is getting overly enabled there).

The scene where the circumstances behind Morphomon’s disappearance are revealed makes it significantly less subtle what the point is. In the actual movie, a lot of this involved visual framing with Menoa seeming to become more and more distant, but in this version of the novel they basically whack you over the head with the final confirmation that Menoa is guilty of neglecting her own partner, which contradicts her own assertions that “they were always together” (maybe not emotionally, it seems!) and helps clarify the commonality between her, Taichi, Yamato, and Sora in what exactly led to their partners disappearing.

Bonus: this version of the novel really wants you to know that the ending of the movie is about Taichi and Yamato fully having the determination to turn things around and lead up to the 02 epilogue. (The movie’s version of this involves the extended version of Taichi’s thesis and the credits photo with Yamato obviously next to a rocket, while this novel’s version involves more detailed fleshing out of how Taichi and Yamato decided to use their experiences to move onto their eventual career paths and what kind of hope they still have at the end. The Dash X version...didn’t really have a very strong equivalent here.)

In other words, while this version of the novel isn’t the greatest reference for plot or worldbuilding, it does a much more effective job being straightforward about the intended themes and message of the movie, and even if the scenes in it are much more loosely adapted, it’s much better at adapting the emotional nuances of the things that would normally be conveyed via visuals, expressions, and voice acting. (Although I would still say that the movie itself is the best reference for that kind of thing, of course.) If you just want lore or plot ideas, I don’t think it’ll help you very much, but since this series is so much about characters that had their ways of thinking fleshed out in such incredible detail, and about strong theme messaging, this is all still very valuable information in its own way.

[duhragonball]

Totally Not Mark

I think the TNM situation is pretty widely known by now.  I only recently learned just how popular the guy is, but I’m not big into the YouTube scene.  However, I do keep an eye on Twitter, and something Mark said in this video kicked off a controversy there.  

First off, while the above video recaps the situation pretty well, I’ll go over it here: TNM produces video commentaries and reviews on various anime properties, including Dragon Ball.  Late last year, Toei tried to have 150 of his videos taken down from YouTube, citing copyright infringement.   Mark argued passionately that the footage in his videos was covered by fair use laws, but Toei simply didn’t care, and YouTube was unresponsive to his plight.  Demoralized by the situation, Mark took some time off to figure out what to do next, and then YouTube finally stepped in and did the right thing. 

As it turns out, Toei actually broke the rules by trying to take these videos down without proper justification, and when pressed to provide a rationale for their takedown request, they just... didn’t?  I won’t get into the legal details here, but my understanding is that while Japanese copyright law is much stricter than in other countries, it can’t be applied outside of Japan.  So YouTube finally settled the issue by fixing it so Mark’s videos will be available everywhere except Japan, which suits Mark fine, since he doesn’t have an audience there anyway.   The only real question is why YouTube didn’t implement something like this for everybody years ago.

It’s a real victory for the little guy, and I’m genuinely surprised and pleased to hear that he won, because I was all set to write a much more depressing take on his situation, basically amounting to “What did you expect?”  It seems like YouTube makes life difficult for its content creators at every turn, and Toei doesn’t respect its foreign fanbase at all, so I didn’t think Mark would ever get this far. 

But that’s not what I’m here to talk about.  I’m looking to address what Mark said that got Twitter all riled up.   At 9:09, he says: “And look, this is just my opinion, but I genuinely believe that had it not been for Team Four Star and their Dragon Ball Z Abridged Series, Dragon Ball wouldn’t have remained nearly as popular in the Western World during the time where not much new content surrounding the property was being released.”

I transcribed this excerpt, mainly because one of the rallying cries on Twitter is that no one in the DBZ fandom can read or listen, so this is my attempt to have a good faith discussion here.   I had to rewatch that twelve seconds of the video several times to make sure I transcribed it right, so I am very clear on what the man said, okay?

Also, to provide some context, Mark’s point was that Toei would be better off embracing fan works instead of trying to bully them by abusing YouTube’s copyright takedown system.   I agree with that point entirely, however, I think his chosen example gives Team Four Star more credit than they’re due.   More under the cut.

From what I could see on Twitter, Mark’s statement was clipped and tweeted by a guy who simply captioned it as “Shit opinion”, which sort of polarized anybody who might have agreed or disagreed with it.   I don’t agree with what Mark said, but it’s hardly a “shit” opinion.  In any event, the whole thing boiled down to two camps:

1) People who like Team Four Star, who were introduced to Dragon Ball through their Abridged series, and are pretty sore at Toei for all their bullying tactics.

2) People who find TFS overrated, who already liked Dragon Ball just fine, and think Mark was just shilling for his pals.

I kind of want to straddle the fence here, because I’m old enough to remember at time when DBZ was red hot in the early 2000′s, and then there wasn’t a whole lot of new stuff to enjoy, and then I discovered DBZA in 2010, and it was heartwarming to see such a popular fan project bringing so many fans together.  

But, as much as I enjoy DBZA, I don’t think TFS “saved” the Dragon Ball franchise, or anything like that.  To be sure, Mark never said that TFS “saved’ the franchise, but that’s kind of what everyone on Twitter was arguing about.   Was there a “drought” in official DB content?   When was that drought?  How long did it last?  Was it even a problem?  And if it was a problem, did DBZA fix it?  The people in Camp 2 say no, that’s absurd. 

The people in Camp 1 seemed to harp on the exact words Mark used.  “[Without DBZA] Dragon Ball wouldn’t have remained nearly as popular in the Western World during the time...”   There’s a lot of qualifiers there to unpack, though.

  First of all, “nearly as popular”, what is that?  How much popularity would DB have lost in the early 2010′s, and how much of that popularity did TFS recover for them?  I don’t think there’s any way to measure that.  This is why the debaters were so passionate, because all they could really do was point to the viewer counts on the DBZA videos, and talk about their own personal experiences with DBZA.   Except personal experiences are singular, and viewer counts can’t tell us how many of those people were already die-hard fans before TFS was founded. 

The talking point I saw from Camp 1 was this: “Look, he’s not saying Abridged saved Dragon Ball, he just said that it lost a little of its popularity, and Abridged helped them get most of that loss back.“ Which is perhaps a fair statement, but it’s also so mild that it defeats Mark’s original point: that Toei could be more successful by working with fan creators instead of against them.  If DBZA’s contribution was negligible, then it’s all academic.  

What about “The Western World”?  Another important qualifier, as Dragon Ball never stopped being a big deal in Japan, Latin America, and other parts of the world.   Dragon Ball Z Abridged was made in the U.S.A., and the whole thing is in English, so it probably doesn’t have much penetration outside of the Anglosphere.   Except I’m pretty sure the “Western World” is bigger than just the parts of it that speak English. 

Again, I feel like Mark was trying to talk up the success of DBZA, but he didn’t want to exaggerate his case, so he had to put a few disclaimers on the statement, even as he was making it.   Like, okay there’s a passionate fanbase in Latin America that has nothing to do with Team Four Star, but you still have to give them credit for keeping the flame alive in these other countries.   Fine, but that’s still kind of a mild statement, once you stop to interpret it that way.   Oh, and it’s not that they kept the flame alive, it just wouldn’t have been nearly as hot otherwise.  Okay.

Finally, let’s talk about “during the time where not much new content surrounding the property was being released”  For simplicity’s sake, I’m going to refer to this as “the drought”.   Of the three, I feel most qualified to speak on this, because I lived “the drought”.   I wasn’t a kid, either.  I was in my 20′s and early 30′s.   I know the period fairly well.

Okay, so one of the side-arguments on Twitter concerned exactly when the drought was.   Dragon Ball GT ended in 1997, and Battle of Gods premiered in 2013.   The only DB material I know of that came out in between was the Yo! Son Goku special in 2008, Dragon Ball: Evolution in 2009, and Episode of Bardock in 2011.   There was some sot of One-Piece crossover too, but I don’t know much about that. 

However, those dates only concern Japan.   In the “Western World”, Dragon Ball was airing on Cartoon Network in the 2000′s.  I’m pretty sure the dub of GT finished up on Cartoon Network in 2005.  After that, fans pretty much just had the video games.  I believe that was around the time the Budokai Tenkaichi series was in full swing, followed by Raging Blast 1 and 2.   And Dragon Ball: Evolution was in theaters if anyone cared to watch it.  I remember watching the Yo! Son Goku special from Shonen Jump’s website in 2008.

Strictly speaking, you can say The Drought in the “Western” fandom spanned 2005 to the U.S. release of Battle of Gods in 2014.  But I’m not too sure about that, because you’ve got Dragon Ball Kai showing up from 2009 to 2011 in Japan.   In the U.S., Kai was localized as Dragon Ball Z Kai and aired on Nickelodeon from 2010 to 2013.

So the timeline of The Drought looks something like this:

2005: GT dub finale

2006: DBZ Movies 12 and 13 released in the U.S.

2007: Not much

2008: The Yo! Son Goku special.  Dragon Ball Z Abridged begins.

2009: Dragon Ball: Evolution

2010-2013: Dragon Ball Z Kai premiers on Nickelodeon

2014: Battle of Gods premiers in U.S. theaters.

2015-2018: Dragon Ball Super anime available on Crunchyroll.

So you definitely have a strong case for a drought in 2005-2009.  I say this because GT sucked and by 2005 I could no longer deny it.   Movies 12 and 13 are my favorites, but I’d already downloaded the Japanese dubs by then because I couldn’t wait for them to come out.  And the special in ‘08 and DBE weren’t much to speak of.    DBZA episodes were available in ‘08 and ‘09, but I wasn’t aware of it.  And Kai never meant much to me, because they adapted stories I had already seen in Z.  But I know a lot of younger fans point to Kai on Nickelodeon as what got them into the fandom, so I have to respect that.  

For my part, ‘05 to ‘13 never felt like too much of a dry spell.  This is partly because I never seriously expected Dragon Ball to come back.  Some things just end, and I find it odd how modern fans seem to think that the franchise must continue no matter what.   Hey, that’d be great if it did, but there’s no guarantees here.  In any case, I spent those years collecting my DVDs and manga so I could rewatch everything, and I played the hell out of all those video games.  And in 2012, I started this blog.  

I think part of the argument is that The Drought lasted from ‘05 to ‘13 because the games and Kai simply don’t count.   Okay, to each his own, but if certain media doesn’t count as content, then why should we count unofficial works like DBZA as things that helped the franchise?   It just feels like a circular argument, completely subjective.  At least when Toei released Kai and the video games, they made money off of those things.  

And that’s really the issue I have with Mark’s statement.  It’s entirely up to Toriyama and Toei to decide how much content they want to produce, and when to release it.  If they didn’t feel like doing much in ‘07, that’s their call.   I’m sure they made less money off Dragon Ball that year, but that’s their business.  If they want to let the franchise end and the fandom slowly wanes to nothing, that’s fine too.   Mark makes it sound like someone needed to make something about Dragon Ball in 2008, and TFS stepped up to fulfill that obligation.  But no, the obligation never existed. 

I’ve seen Totally Not Mark kind of stray into this logic before, that rights holders should be grateful to fan creators for keeping their properties on the map.   I don’t think he’s ever quite said it in so many words, but he circles around it once in a while.  To be clear, I believe he’s well within his rights to make videos about copyrighted works, but sometimes I think he overestimates the importance of that contribution.  His audience loves his stuff, and that’s a wonderful thing, but Toei’s under no obligation to like what he does.  They don’t have to consider it free publicity if they don’t see it that way.  

That’s not to say Team Four Star doesn’t deserve some credit.   I think they made a big impact on the fandom with their work, and they’ve got a lot of talented people in their outfit.   I’ve been supporting them on Patreon for years.   They got me through some tough times, and I’m grateful for that.  I think a lot of people in Camp 2 were only arguing that Mark was wrong because they just hate TFS for the “Bad Dad” memes it spawned, but that’s just as reductive as suggesting their YouTube show saved a best-selling cartoon franchise.

Anyway, that’s my spiel, and it was just too long to fit into a Twitter thread, so I’m putting it here.   Good night, everybody.

[pocketramblr]

other main character meta- Ochako, pt 1

<part 2>

“Could you send me there?” you ask, while i blink, confused. “The world where someone else is the main character? not because i have any hypocritical biases against the one i got, just curious how the fandom meta changes.”

“Oh, yeah, sure.” I nod, thinking, before tapping my wand against your forehead. “Let’s start with Ochako.”

"I'm going to warn you now- I will have to slightly adjust the plot like I did with Mirio, just to actually let her be the main character."

"Yeah, that checks out." You nod, thinking about certain arcs where the female fighting teams get no coverage while the dudes get four different backstory reveals and full fight focus.

"Very well."

The show begins with a brief narration by the girl of quirks and super hero fights- all flashy. Then it zooms out to show the destruction, and a small construction team moving in as Ochako explains that just as there are new careers in society for heroes, there's also a bigger market for construction companies, one of which her own family runs.

"I've always wanted to help them with it, and my quirk would be useful"- a tiny, adorable Ochako finally appears, making rocks in a park float- "but to get a work license like that is expensive and selective- you've got to make a lot of court appearances and convince them why is a good idea and won't destroy the economy. It's much easier to get a hero license."

Then she explains: "Of course, once you have a hero license, you can make a lot more money than just by helping the company. Especially if... Your family company isn't doing very well." A series of tired but loving parents are shown working all hours to make ends meet.

"I want to help them- my parents. They've done everything for me, and they deserve a break. So that's why I'm going to be a hero- their hero."

The training montage is quick, using her quirk during school in training, after school in secret, around the house. She saves up money too, and studies, aiming for a scholarship.

She applies and tests for many hero schools, and the exams all vary widely.

The first episode ends with her looking up at UA, her final one, the one she really hopes to get into.

"Oh, that's nice." You nod. "And we even get to know her parents' quirks here."

"Yep." I agree. "In general, there's a lot more of a look at the financial side. It's pretty interesting."

"And the fandom?"

"Well, certain people get praised for the bare minimum, but I'll admit having a female lead is super uncommon for shonen jump." It's an improvement, though it's up in the air how much of one it will be. "There's also, because we saw a lot more hero schools, a ton of "students at different school" fics, either because they were expelled or because of the danger UA gets into."

"I do kinda feel like this universe is lucky for that sort of world building." You nod.

"It's very cool to see the takes on the aus. But, I will say there's a cost for this world building- the AfO stuff reeeeally comes out of nowhere and tends to not be popular with fans."

The next episode starts, and Ochako helps a boy from falling. "Love interest alert!" The fans notice quickly when the cute boy blushes and doesn't manage to say much before she walks away.

"They caught on quick." You note.

"And they aren't wrong." Not that it's any real feat to be right.

The exam starts, and Ochako is off in a flash. You see a few glimpses of future classmates- Iida, Aoyama, Kirishima.

She does well, racking up villain points and rescue points, until she's a little too ambitious and falls into the rubble. Her nausea is well established by now, everyone knows she's at her limit.

She can't get up.

The green haired boy comes back and stops the zero pointer.

And breaks every bone in the process.

Ochako saves him in return, lifting up the rubble and stopping his fall.

And then vomits violently afterwards.

"You know, I think quirks suck, actually." The fandom tends to agree on this after that episode/chapter. "But it is interesting that there's such a price for the powers, balances it really well."

"Ha." You shake your head. "They caught onto that, quicker."

"Yep." I can't even say it's more highlighted here, it's the exact same way it was shown in our universe- down to the sparkling rainbow puke.

"Though..." You can't quite imagine that's the only thing the fandom is saying isn't actually that great.

"Ding ding ding." I nod. "Did our own main character get treated just like a damsel in distress? Sure, she saved him back, but that just meant she could have floated away on her own in that time, even if it made her sick. Better that than dead. Is it the sexism?" I shrug. "Most decide to wait and see a bit, and by the time they work together in the first battle exercise figure it's a pretty even split between them saving each other."

"So no sexism?" You get happy at that thought.

I cough. "Ah, no. Both in the show and the fandom. You wouldn't believe how many grown men complain about the lady mc, even as they keep watching."

"And have her body pillow."

"Please don't make me think about that." I cover my eyes, but don't deny that it's true. "Anyway, yeah. Get ready for a lot of people to point out that even though the main character is a girl, every single other girl is flat as cardboard so far and that she only has developed friends that are guys."

"Hey, they aren't flat-"

"In the first season? Yeah they are. Unless you meant, physically, in which case..."

"I didn't." You protest. "But I guess I can see your point, at the start."

"Right. Let's continue on."

Uraraka goes to Present Mic to offer her points. The man pats her on the head, and skyrockets to the position of fandom dad.

"It's all about Dadmic and then Dadzawa here," I explain. "The fans were very disappointed to learn Mic wasn't her homeroom teacher, but yeah... He got a huge head start before Dadzawa fics got going."

"Nice. And it's all fanon?"

"Yeah, it may be a good thing he's not actually in it much, or they might realize how much they just made up on their own."

Then she gets accepted in, on hero and rescue points- she's third place overall, and she gets the scholarship.

On the first day of school, she actually gets to know her love interest's name- Midoriya!

There's also the quirk assessment, which really leads to the "expelled to another school" au and the "fire Aizawa and replace him with better Mic" aus, the first of which lasts much longer in the fandom use, but the second one was just as passionate for a while.

Iida becomes the second friend, and gives her the "Infinity Girl" nickname- which actually is the fandom assumption of what her hero name will be for quite a while, a la 'ground zero'.

Then it's time for All Might's first appearance on screen, to much applause of the students, and the announcement that they get their costumes.

During the first battle exercise, there's a lot more lingering camera work in the changing rooms. Ochako gets to expand a lot more on how she didn't want her costume to be that tight. It's uncomfortable, especially when she thinks about wearing it in front of everyone.

"Oh, I forgot she didn't like it at first... Does she just, get used to it here?" It sounds horrible for the plot to just say 'get used to it' to the main character being sexualized by costume makers outside of her control, especially as a child.

"Not on my watch." I mumble, waving the wand. "Don't worry, she'll actually get more costume changes each time, like some other characters."

"Oh good."

Mineta, regrettably, still exists. You find the fandom manages to be even more violent in his removal.

The battle does even out the opinions on Midoriya, as well as lead to a boost in Iida's with his charming little attempt at thinking villainously.

And cements Bakugo as rather hated. No one has really liked him, when the first thing he did was blow up at Midoriya, then get revealed to have called him a cruel nickname all this time. And then specifically hunt him down because all he cares about it beating him up.

"Yeah he's not gonna get a lot of fans here huh."

"He sure never gets first place in the popularity poll." I agree. "Most consider him the subversion of the rival trope to show is just stupid and violent and in real life, people like that don't go anywhere."

"Most?"

I look away. "How dumb of a discourse do you think you could see today?"

"Oh please, show me." You lean in. "It's nice to not have to deal with it in my universe, so I don't care."

The discourse is such.

Bakugo is gay-coded for Midoriya, the violence is a result of him being shoved off for a girl's love interest when she should be single and independent, and the homophobic creator is vilifying all gay people by saying they are predatory to poor straight boys with refused.

"They............... What."

"If it makes you feel better, that's a very brief minority of the fandom. My favorite response to it was "he's not gay-coded, he's bully coded you sanctimonious sumph of a shmuck.""

"Oh good," you sigh. "I'm glad we don't have to deal with actual queerphobic tropes like that."

I stare at you.

"What?"

I sigh. "Nothing, put a pin in that until I bring up the predatory bi thing with Toga."

Your eyes widen, and you start to have some regrets.

"Anyway, we can talk shipping later. Time for more."

The 'exit sign Iida' gives him a boost in being shipped with Ochako, (as well as Yaoyorozu) and also the general idea that "Ochako has two hands."

That one hand can have a boyfriend with a lot of cash to spare for her and the other is also played with.

"I missed the main trio, like this." You smile as they walk off into the sunset after school.

"Yeah." I agree. "Anyway, time for some near death experiences."

The USJ marks the start of the gradual, gradual growth of Dadzawa fics. It also focuses far more on Ochako, Mina, Sero, and Iida having to think strategically to get around Kurogiri. It's only after Iida escapes that we cut back to a slightly abridged version of how Midoriya was doing, then the other kids, before help arrives.

He does still through his first non bone breaking punch though, which makes the audience happy.

All Might saves the day. Aizawa is battered afterwards. Many fans start out by saying they were disappointed, since this was supposed to be the first big fight, and the kids didn't do much. Many others say in response that's the point- we're looking at first years, they had to think and help each other, but in the end they had to rely on adults.

And then the sports festival is announced. They want to do well, because this is how they get work-week placements, which could become internship offers.

Ochako thinks about Hado Nejire, the only intern of a top ten hero, and senior at UA, along with a few others who are on the up and up. She's determined.

"Really? You're bringing in the big three early?" You ask, glancing at my wand.

It's not sparkling.

I cross my arms with a huff. "Look. Nejire is at this point the only intern in the top ten, she would have been recognizable to the students for that, even if they didn't recognize the big three (which really means that they aren't actually called the Big Three by everyone, or at least not a wide enough group for it to be as big a deal as it's treated. Anyway.) But she wasn't, even if she should have been the most famous of the bunch, considering the coverage the first years got in just their first night. That's because a certain someone doesn't actually think of his female characters much, but he has to in this universe, so."

"Ok, yeah, that's fair. So does that change the sports festival?"

"Not... Much." I admit.

“What?”

“Well, keep in mind in the first universe, our main character didn’t make it past the second round in the one-on-one’s. So she’s not exactly guaranteed a win here either.”

You have to nod, admitting that is true.

“And the conflict isn’t so much about having to live up to any predecessor or breaking down some people’s walls via breaking bones.” I tap my wand against my chin, thinking. “There really is two- one about Midoriya, and one about Ochako’s parents.”

“Oh?”

“One, there’s been the Uraraka’s not happy about how much danger Ochako’s been in. Its been hinted at in the phone calls, but really shows up when we get to see them at home before the SF for the first time since she moved for school. They aren’t sure if she can stay there herself, or if the right thing to do would be to pull her out and maybe try a smaller school.”

“I suppose that's fair, if they haven't been able to actually see her or her progress.”

“Right. The second one is- well. in this, Izuku’s win of the first round, and then breaking out of brainwashing, is more about really piling on how good his mind is- all that brain power. This adds more pressure when we see Ochako being offered a plan from him to beat Bakugo.”

“Oh that does sound neat.”

“Yep- but of course, she still refuses. It’s held up as a worse thing, strategically, initially- but then she comes up with a plan that Midoriya confirms in the stands is better than his, and proves to her parents that she’s smart and skilled enough to handle continuing at the school.”

You smile. “That is a cool arc to do, i guess, if very not traditional. But what about all the character setup and growth with Shinsou and Todoroki?”

“Oh, Shinsou’s largely gets delegated all the way later for the joint training arc, where Ochako’s team is directly against him. Todoroki...” I begin to giggle.

You wait for me to answer, getting more concerned the longer i laugh.

“Pocket?”

“Sorry, sorry, yeah. He actually tells her himself in this canon, a bit after stain. Oh! right, i forgot- the cheerleader incident.”

“Oh no.”

“Oh yes. of course they need this merch opportunity! But yes, it happens. The... shall we say, non-body-pillow portion of the fandom, generally saw it as the end of any goodwill to Kaminari, who had previously been seen as a tertiary possible love interest, since he’d flirted with her on the first day. Flirt, but harmless, and unlikely to be important. Then there was that breach of trust and international embarrassment, and anyway he’s basically the second least likely in 1a to be shipped with her now.”

“Wow. So none of that changed?”

“Well, the setup wasn’t under narration from Todoroki about how his mother was bought for her body and how much that sucked and impacted her and the family while on screen we see multiple girls tricked into barring their bodies and its treated as a laugh instead?”

You stare at me. “I’m not sure if that’s better or worse.”

“Neither am I.”

“So, the Todoroki reveal?”

“Right. So, first you need to know the Stain thing- the claims he has against ‘false’ heroes focusing on money is better spotlighted. After Stain’s arrest, Ochako hears a couple of sidekicks at Gunhead’s agency-”

“Wait!” you interrupt. “She still interned with Gunhead? Then what was the point of showing Nejire and Ryukyuu earlier?”

I try not to massage my forehead. “To build up to it. She only made it to the first of the final round, she couldn’t get an internship with a top tenner yet. She’s also got to learn how to disarm someone who fights with a knife. These things build up over more time, small steps.”

“Ah.” You’re satisfied, and let me continue.

“Right, so, Overhears a couple of them talking about Stain’s philosophy and ends up just feeling really bad about it for a bit, trying to figure out if she’s actually being selfish or a bad hero for, you know, wanting her family to not be crushed due to capitalism.”

“Poor girl.” You shake your head in sympathy, the freeze. “Oh. did not intend that pun.”

“It’s alright, i know what you mean. And yeah, she bottles it up for a bit, until the second day back at school. Then Iida reminds her that him bottling things up last week got several kids in mortal danger, and she begrudgingly admits that he has a point and tells them about what has been bugging her.”

“And they comfort her?”

“Well, Todoroki also offers to tell off Kaminari because at this point his mention of stain upset both her and iida, but yes, A lot of reassurances.”

You squint. “I feel like shippers.”

“You’re learning! Yes, Todoroki is just a bit behind Iida in terms of popularity shipping with her. and she does basically get shipped A Lot with each girl in her class too, like imagine double to triple the amount with each girl now, and for the minor guys- but yeah. There’s a lottttt of ships. This was basically called ‘todoroki’s introduction into ochako’s harem’ in the fandom.”

Shipping. fandom just can’t escape it.

“So, then she learns about Todoroki’s past? oh, and what about Hosu? Does she- and everyone else- actually think Endeavor saved the three??”

I snort. “Oh, no. Todoroki’s flat ‘yeah my father totally helped us, as you read on the official report’ basically tipped the fandom off that something else had. But nothing confirmed either, you know? Filling in the hosu gap is another trope in fics that is pretty common.”

“Neat.”

“Yep. But yeah Todoroki tells her his backstory a bit after his introduction into her ‘harem’ of friends. It’s really played up more to caution Ochako- its alright for her to want to help her family, and to work for money to do that. But Rei accepted the marriage offer for money for her family too, and it ended up breaking her. Ochako has to accept a balance- she can work to help her family, and its good, but there are some things she cannot morally do to help them, and other things that she shouldn’t do because she has to take care of her own health first.”

“Ohhhh.” You hadn’t quite expected that, but you sorta liked it, now that you thought about it.

I smile. “It is pretty neat, yeah.” I glance at my watch. “Look, i hate to cut you off, but this post is gonna end up thrice the length of Mirio’s and i think tumblr might stop me, so we’re gonna have to do a two-parter.”

“That’s fine.” You are gracious for what you’ve gotten so far, and do have questions that you’re excited to see answered for the rest of the series. “It’s been fun.”

“It has been.” I agree. “Lets take a break, but you can ask me any questions too, before I return for part two.”

<part 2>

[crispie-art]

Miraculous Ladybug Season 4 Episode 2 "The Luka Episode" - An Analysis of Luka Couffaine

My first impression of Luka was a guy who was about as interesting as sandbag who liked Marinette, interacted with no one else, and the only reason he was liked was because of his e-boy/sensitive/soft-boy appearance. I preferred Kagami way more than him, since it felt like her and Adrien had really good chemistry, and also she had a lot of character development for her episodes. I'm assuming in order to give more depth to Luka, the writers decided that Luka was going to get a few episodes as well, and...I think I'm starting to like him a lot as a character.

One thing that Luka was missing in my opinion was identity. In many episodes it felt like he was just kinda there to fulfil the new Marinette love interest since Adrien got one. All I saw was a guy who was obsessed with music, and that was it. He was more of an archetype than anything to me. Even the episode 'Silencer' didn't do much to convince me that he was interesting because it was just music and Marinette again. He was barely given the time he needed in the season he was introduced, and the few tidbits we see of him gave off a feeling of a chill guy with not much going on in his life.

My criticism of Luka was 100% too harsh, but I will say that he was not given the attention that should have been given to a new character. Take Toph for example, she had a lot of time to assimilate herself with the 'new group of friends' and had a fascinating introduction. They used what was interesting about Toph, her earth-bending skills and the quiet-girl persona that she had in front of her parents, to help us be excited for her character arc.

How I would've structured Luka's introduction is if Marinette saw the first thing that he did was play music in front of a crowd. The passion he showed for music is one of his defining traits. If he were a bit more lazy and too-lax off-stage, and was introduced to Marinette by Juleka, that would create an interesting juxtaposition for his character and make him more likeable. The way I see it is, a character can only become interesting and relatable to the viewer when they show flaws or are in conflict somehow. Miraculous Ladybug rarely uses the first anymore and always uses the latter. Conflict is way easier to deal with than character flaws when every episode needs to have an akuma. Since character flaws need to be resolved and change the character.

Now onto the episode:

One thing I will say about this episode is that Luka has become vulnerable. And I love it. Vulnerability is kinda what we needed from Luka since he always seems like a stable, well put-together kind of guy. If his nonchalance was better-expressed and given more screen-time in earlier episodes, this vulnerability could have had a really, really great effect. Unfortunately, that didn't happen, and I'm not letting the writers get off scot-free for giving us Stormy Weather 2 instead of focusing on the new characters they had.

This episode makes it really easy for you to feel sorry for Luka, since he seems like the type to bear the weight of emotions and hardly express himself to others. He knows for a fact that Marinette is still in love with Adrien despite dating him, since literally everyone in town knows and he still has to pretend as if he doesn't care.

(Side note: I'm really curious on what Adrien would have said Marinette's secret was if Truth asked him.)

She comes late to every date they've had, skipped it, and hardly gives him any time. And finally, when he tries to open up to her in the most authentic way and probably most emotional way, talking about his abandoned father, she is still unable to tell him the truth, whatever it is. I love what they used with the melody under the bridge - it's a smart idea and fits his character really well.

It's really obvious that Luka has a lot of patience with Marinette, and even that is wearing thin. A part of me wanted him to just break up with her already, but then again he's a love-struck 17yr old who loves Marinette, so his simpiness makes sense here. The problem I have with this is that it makes Marinette look like a real jerk, which is not a good look for the show. Breaking-up was probably the right thing to do at the end, but it feels like taking responsibility and leaving her friends behind for her superhero stuff is a problem that Marinette could have had and dealt with in earlier seasons.

This abandoned father plot-line like I mentioned before is really, really out of nowhere, I don't like it. Now, the idea of an unknown father is nothing new, like South Park did it more than two decades ago, but the issue is that it's resolved way too quickly. I literally laughed when Luka's mother straight up said it's Jagged Stone between the five minutes he told Marinette he was searching for his father and his mother telling him as a villain. It honestly felt like parody or an abridged episode.

There's no explanation as to why his mother kept this as a secret from him, and the explanation the Jagged gave was half-assed, and wasn't worth being forgiven for that quickly. I really expected this to be some interesting drawn out Pretty Little Liars type mystery where fan theories would be stewing for a while, but they nipped it in the bud pretty quickly. Which is really, really annoying. Luka hasn't had a motivation like this before, he was a chill side character, but when they finally gave him one, they ripped it away from him in a matter of minutes. And since Marinette is hardly involved with Luka anymore, I'm going to find it difficult to believe that we'll see Luka and Jagged hang out that much anymore. What I'm assuming is going to happen is it's either gonna be Jagged akumatised because of some dumb conflict between their relationship or we'll see bits of their father-son relationship in the background now and then. Also what about Juleka? Is she Jagged's child too or is she Luka's step-sister?

Everything here is resolved way too quickly, to an unreasonable degree, and it follows back to a general problem I've had with the series - the plot is way too dense to allow for an akuma every episode or be this formulaic.

Fighting scenes need to be cut down more, or the akuma should just not be there because if the episode is too formulaic, we don't get the character moments that we needed. This release schedule is also, I can tell, a really big problem for the writers, and would have me ripping my hair out if I was writing this show. Because let's take this Luka thing as an example. If it was intended that Luka have a secret abandoned father that no one knew about and was revealed as being Jagged Stone in later episodes, what if that reveal episode was released before the episode where Luka confides in Marinette that he wants to search for his father?

While I do kinda wish Luka could get more development, I find it hard to believe it will happen unless he becomes Viper again. Same with Kagami. Since the show is entirely centred around Marinette, unless Marinette interacts with side-characters, they won't get development, albeit from some rare scenes. And that's not always such a great idea. Sometimes you need the side-characters to feel alive, to feel like they do what they want as well. We need scenes or even episodes sometimes without Marinette.

It's not always about her, and Marinette needs to learn that as soon as possible, because they kinda butchered her character this episode.

[northernscruffycat]

Tagged by @101flavoursofweird

I’ll tag @pandirpus @krokonoko @my-artblog-is-ssjumi @yallemagne @amberrgalaxy @swamp-y and anyone else who wants to do this. But this is a pretty long one, so don’t feel like you have to :3 (On that note, I’ll be putting most of this under a cut for exactly that reason)

How many works do you have on AO3?

131 at the moment. But some of those are different oneshots from FFN that I posted into one fic when porting over to AO3, so I’d be fascinated by what the actual amount of fanfics I’ve written is.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

1242922 words

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Just counting what’s on AO3, so far I’ve written for 17 fandoms. They are: Free!, Professor Layton, Hades Game, Steven Universe, Pokemon, Ace Attorney, Yu-Gi-Oh DM, Yu-Gi-Oh GX, Yu-Gi-Oh 5d’s, Sonic the Hedgehog, Super Mario, Dr. Stone, Tintin, Night in the Woods, GetBackers, Good Omens and Cooking Mama What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

‘just wanted to write a fic where senku says ‘get excited’ during sex’ (My SenGen oneshot that gets a wave of attention whenever a new chapter or episode of Dr. Stone comes out)

‘laughable’ (An Ares/Hypnos oneshot I wrote purely as a sample for a zine app and underestimated how popular that ship is lol)

‘the prince with specific tastes; the king with specific regrets’ (THAT Theseus fic. My absolute fave thing I’ve ever written)

‘Shallow Grave, Shallow Bae’ (A Reigisa fic based on Octopimp’s 50% Off! abridged series of Free!; I honestly do think this fic slaps and I’m glad folks like it)

‘Barrel of Monkeys’ (The AsaIku & KisuHiyo collab fic I wrote with Amber that was a lotta fun and I’d love to do something like this with them again one day for a different fandom. Also, I feel like we captained the small KisuHiyo fandom with this fic back in the day)

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I generally respond to comments. Almost always, unless I really can’t think of anything to say in reply, which is pretty rare. Comments make me so happy and I just want to let people who do comment know that I appreciate them.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I think the angstiest fic I wrote was a Free! fic called ‘Moves Across the Land’ - the premise of which is that Makoto died as a young adult of an illness and each chapter is a different person in his life receiving a letter that he wrote for them before he died. But that one had an optimistic ending, with Haru and Kisumi unexpectedly finding a newly strengthened friendship in sharing the grief of Makoto’s death. So I guess technically the angstiest ending I wrote was a short Archie/Maxie oneshot where Maxie gets killed by Kyogre lol

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes, but I ended up agreeing with it! Waaay back (probably more that 10 years ago at this point), I wrote a bunch of Layton/Rosetta oneshots that I now don’t stand by. One of them, in my naivety, I went too far with and breached uncomfortable territory. I got a couple of comments about how uncomfortable it was, so I ended up deleting that particular fic and felt better after it was gone.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I am a fledgling at writing smut, which is probably obvious to anyone who’s read my smut haha. When I do write it, I prefer to focus on the dialogue between the characters - I like a banterous smut scene. Also, they’re usually pretty tame. I like writing about handjobs, blowjobs and wanking the most when I do write smut.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Again, not that I know of, but that would be awesome! A few years ago, a kind person messaged me about potentially translating my Layton fic ‘Grasping Liquid’ into French, but I don’t think they went through with it in the end. Though honestly, the dialogue and slang in that fic is pretty much illegible in English, so I reckon it’d be a tough fic to translate.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, the aforementioned ‘Barrel of Monkeys’ that I co-wrote with @amberrgalaxy It was a lot of fun and I love it :D

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Hmm... I don’t think I have a single all time favourite. I jump through a lot of OTPs and they always mean a lot to me, but it wouldn’t seem fair to pick out a single one that’s always shined brighter than the others, because that’s not really how my hyperfixations work. But my current favourite ships are Momus/Heracles (to be narcissistic) and TheseZag from Hades Game. While my oldest ship that I’m still invested in is Yami/Seto from Yu-Gi-Oh DM.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Shockingly, I don’t have any right now. A few years ago (I think 2018?), I made a point of going back and finishing ALL my old WIPs that I’d left hanging but intended to finish, even for fandoms I didn’t plan on going back to. So that freed my conscience of them and felt pretty good. At the moment, my only WIP is ‘if found please return to the underworld’ - an AU where Zagreus does make it to Olympus, so Hades sends Theseus, Asterius and Meg to try to get him back. But I’ve only just started writing that one, so I do hope to stick with it until it’s finished.

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue. Definitely dialogue. I’m told that I capture the canon voices of characters pretty well and that’s always what I’m trying the hardest to get right, so it means a lot to me. I also feel like I’m good at keeping a fic flowing, without being bogged down by too much detail. But the downside of that is that I often sacrifice description, so I still hope to find the balance. Since Hades Game has more flowery prose than I’m used to, I think getting into that series actually helped me with this.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I do not think I am experienced enough to be able to pull this off well and would worry too much about making mistakes.

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

It was Pokemon, but those fics aren’t online anymore. The oldest fics you can still find buried somewhere with my name attached to them are Sonic fics.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve ever written?

‘the prince with specific tastes; the king with specific regrets’ - Sometimes I look back at that fic and wonder if I actually wrote it, since I avoided falling into all of my usual traps: I researched it properly and frequently, I kept the focus on the five main characters instead of getting distracted by introducing a million other character like I usually do, I plotted the fucker out from start to finish instead of winging it, and I worked the flashbacks into it in a way that balanced the present-day out instead of distracting from it. Also, I got the whole thing written in about two months, instead of staling for years. ...Whatever possessed me when I wrote that fic, please come back. (It was the first time I’d had two weeks off together in about three years, so I think that had a lot to do with it) OH YEAH and that same kinda villain OC who I recycle in every fandom I’m in actually landed this time. It brought me so much joy to see how much people loved to hate Momus. Those two months when I was posting that fic are easily a highlight of my life. :D

[aknosde]

Fátima I’ll have you know that I wasn’t actually going to drop all of this but then you told me to and I can’t fucking resist you. This is really long I’m sorry. Percy Jackson tiktok au:

This au is like 99% fluff. The only thing that keeps it from being 100% is that I’m maintaining Percy’s history of child abuse, Annabeth's tenuous relationship with her parents, Leo’s mom’s death, The death of Carter and Sadie’s parents, as well as Hazel’s issues (minus the dying), but these things don’t actually come into play.

As you can deduce above, the characters are Percy, Carter, Sadie, Hazel, Annabeth, and Leo. For the sake of my sanity, they are all sophomores in high school.

Character Histories

Percy and Hazel met when he was five and she was four. Hazel’s mom brought her into Sweet on America while Percy was hanging around Sally. They quickly became inseparable, had playdates most weekends until they could control their own schedules, and at around 8/9 years old they started referring to each other as siblings.

Percy: *standing, having a serious conversation with another child at the park*

Hazel: *climbing him*

Percy: WHy are you doing this? The jungle gym is right over there?

Hazel: *continues to climb him*

Percy: You’re a gremlin *pats her affectionately*

      Annabeth and Leo met when they started middle school. Annabeth’s relationship with her father and stepmother has reached a nice area, not perfect, but good, and she doesn’t really talk with her birth mother. Leo’s mom died when he was in fourth grade, he’s fostered by a middle class family, and goes to private school with Annabeth on an academic scholarship.

Leo: –so the problem is that this formula doesn’t work with the diameter of a cylinder but I need...

Annabeth: speak english please

*fifteen minutes later* Annabeth: I think I’ll put vertical supports her, although triangular would be more stable, but according to the building codes...

Leo: I beg of you,,,

     Cater and Sadie’s history stays much the same, they were raised separately until Julius died, except he died during a cave in on one of his digs, and Ruby died in a construction accident. (She was walking by when the supports failed) They started living with Amos in eighth grade. Yes, Amos still has a baboon, an alligator, and an indoor basketball court.

Carter: And so that’s why Amos named his baboon Kufu.

Sadie: You are literally the most annoying person alive, can I have your fries?

    Carter and Percy met on the subway when they were ten, going to a day camp in the summer while Julius was giving some lectures in the city. They were inseparable for the week, and then didn’t speak to each other for four years.

Hazel’s mom has a few mental illnesses that developed when Hazel was around 10, she’s still present in Hazel’s life, and they live together, but she’s not always all there. Once Gabe is out of the picture Hazel spends a lot of time at the Jacksons’ apartment, enough where she keeps a toothbrush there.

As for Gabe, he remains his normal abusive self. Things come to a climax when Percy is 11/12 after Gabe throws a bottle at him. There’s no reasonable excuse for this, and Sally comes home while Percy’s still crying. Gabe’s dealt with swiftly, but Percy has some scarring on the left side of his face.

Also quick note: in this au Percy is 1/2 black, 1/4 moreno, and 1/4 native american. (Moreno and native from Sally and black from his dad)

Their Accounts

So as in the post that got this all started, Percy’s account is largely Ancient Greek and Roman mythology and history. He also does some stuff for indigenous mythology, but he’s super into the greek and roman stuff. (Insert this meme (it’s the thirteenth one down)) He also does skateboarding and some light gymnastics/parkour/acrobatics.

    Hazel is a gymnast. She’s also just super nice and supportive so she makes those motivational videos, but mostly it’s gym stuff and her and Percy hanging out. She’s not quite as popular but she doesn’t really care. She is also the #1 horse girl, and rates horses. Percy would tease her, but he’s also a horse girl.

    Sadie does comedy. Some if it’s scripted or little skits, but there’s a lot of her just ranting at her camera. Also her life is just weird (*cough* alligator and baboon *cough*) so people just like to see what she’s doing. Also a theatre kid™, sorry, I don’t make the rules.

    Carter gives detailed accounts of every Egyptian myth he thinks is cool (all of them), but he makes more comedic abridged versions too. He’s also known to make videos laying out archeological digs. About a quarter of his videos feature Sadie insulting him in the background.

  Leoooooo! He has a lot of comedy, the first video of his to do well was a situational comedy, he always has a sarcastic comment or a bad joke. Most of his stuff now is for robotics. He’s on the robotics team at his and Annabeth’s school, but he does a lot of stuff on the side just making crazy cool contraptions. He has a series of him going scrounging for parts because he doesn’t exactly have the money for a lot of his stuff. Also skateboards occasionally.

 Annabeth’s account in verging on booktok. Every time she reads a book she reviews it, and if it’s popular she’ll record herself reading it and put the best clips together. She’s still really into architecture, she talks about it often, shows some of her sketches, and has a series where her followers can pick videos in New York and she’ll go and critique them. Also has some lifestyle videos about staying organized, but only for school stuff because otherwise she’s pretty messy.

Prequel Stuff

Carter and Percy reconnect when they start duetting each other’s mythology busting videos. They have two series together, one on parallels between Greek and Egyptian myths (called Percy and Carter’s Mythological Mashup) and another about hellenistic culture, specifically about Egypt during the Ptolemaic Dynasty. (Working title: Colonizers suck,,, but the Aesthetics)

Them getting closer forms a friend group of Percy, Hazel, Sadie, and Carter, and they hang out most weekends. Their parents are all friends now.

Okay, The Actual Thing

I lied, there’s a prologue: everything starts at the very end of freshman year when Percy posts a video of him, Hazel, Carter, and Sadie at central park. (caption yet to be determined). It ends up on Leo’s fyp and his though process goes something like ‘oh, it’s a bunch of pretty people who aren’t white.’ He follows Percy and forgets about it.

 So Leo’s life is going pretty normal, Percy’s videos pop up on his following and for you pages. Nothing really happens until Percy makes a video detailing a type of ancient greek technology (im thinking torsion catapult but its not set in stone). Leo thinks it sounds really cool, so he makes it and duets Percy’s video

From there, their friendship develops. Leo keeps making models and prototypes of ancient tech for some of Percy’s videos, and eventually he starts doing his own research. And in turn, Percy duets Leos videos and talks about the historical significance of certain mechanisms or their origins. By now, they’re mutuals and talk pretty often. 

 Annabeth also follows Percy after one of his videos appears on her fyp, but much later then Leo. In fact, he’s on her page because she follows Leo. She’s with Leo when this happens, and asks him about Percy and checks his profile before following him. He follows her back the next day. 

The first time they interact beyond liking each others videos is when Annabeth takes part in one of those ‘creators are struggling like you’ with her ADHD and dyslexia, which Percy continues from her.

 One day Percy and Leo (quite literally) run into each other, and as they’re mutuals and do text, they decide they might as well hang out in person, thus Leo is indicted into Percy’s friend group.

Leo eventually brings Annabeth along too

And the rest of it would be shorter 4+ panel comics and maybe a few mini arcs. I have specific videos outlined for each of them.

[bb8sworld]

— litoreus, part i

pairing: god of the sea!obi-wan kenobi x reader

word count: 7k (*sweats nervously*)

a/n: greetings, and welcome to the first part of my new series! i don’t know how better to summarize this story than by saying that kara (@karasong) said “neptune is a dilf” then val (@milleniumvalcon) said a statue of poseidon looked like obi-wan, and it spiraled from there. so many thanks to the discord for the idea of this poseidon!obi au.

-- ☆ -- ☆ -- ☆ -- ☆ -- 

Destiny. Fate. Will. Luck. Fortune. Chance. Predestination.

Words Obi-Wan Kenobi was intimately familiar with in a multitude of different tongues, languages, dialects, and scripts. Words that have altered in connotation throughout history but have remained steadfast in their use. Words that he didn’t believe in but knew nonetheless. As someone who has been around as long as he has, and as someone who knows the inner workings of the universe and was created shortly after it’s conception, he’s aware that the ideas of Fate and Destiny were innately… human. Something clung onto by ordinary people who dwelled on the Earth and needed reassurance for an occurrence in their lives or ideas blamed for any wrongdoing that came their way.

No, Obi-Wan Kenobi didn’t believe in Fate, Destiny, Fortune, or whatever other terms may be used to describe these phenomena. Everything had an order, everything had a purpose, and things didn’t happen “by chance” or “just because.” They happened because they were supposed to, not because some outside force separate from the godly beings decided to intervene. As a godly being himself, he thinks he would know if there were outside forces beyond him and his fellow gods having any say in the universe.

One of the many perks of being a god, he supposed.

Being a god was tricky business, and it was a job that often didn’t pay in kind. From his very creation, Obi-Wan had struggled with this role of his, from who he was, who he was meant to be, and how he was supposed to act.

Despite being named Obi-Wan Kenobi upon “birth,” he has gone by a plethora of different names throughout his immortal life thus far—such as Olokun, Lir, Hapi, Poseidon, Neptune, Enbilulu, and Njord, just to name a few. So many names to describe one being who ruled, guarded, and protected the seas and oceans. Each one attuned to the civilization in which the name originated from, but all converging together to describe the same god. And from it came an outpouring of love and awe. It was flattering, to say the least, that humans at one point cared so much about him that they would craft pieces of artwork dedicated to him. Or how they would construct temples of worship for him so that they might have a place to pray for safe voyages, either for themselves or loved ones. It made him feel good and loved and appreciated and a whole litany of positive affirmations that humans use to describe this gooey feeling nestled within him.

Obi-Wan loved to help humanity and had always been infatuated with them—their cultures, lifestyles, relationships, emotions, everything. And any time he helped, he got to learn a little bit more about what made humans so human. Sometimes when he did intervene in their matters and was praised for it, he couldn’t help but wonder if that was what it felt like to be human. To be loved, appreciated, adored, wanted.

But being a god wasn’t always so pleasant and flattering.

Sometimes, if a storm churned in the ocean and caused a shipwreck, his name would be cursed at in such hatred and despair as grief overtook the humans. It stung and was incredibly painful to hear, but unfortunately, he didn’t always have control over those situations. Whenever this happened, he would wonder if the feelings he felt were the same ones humans did in response to these occurrences—unloved, hated, disgusted, guilty, remorseful.

Obi-Wan really, truly wanted to take suffering away from the very humans who had fascinated him for centuries, but that’s not the way the universe works. Matters of life and death were not his jurisdiction, even if either of these happened in the blue waves below. It fell to the god of the underworld who was the overseer of death, so therefore Obi-Wan’s hands were tied. He only had control over the voyage's journey, not the destination of the passengers, meaning he was often forced to watch as lives were taken at sea and his name was sworn against in wrath.

But like with all things brought to the attention of humanity, people move on. And unfortunately for Obi-Wan, as times changed and new beliefs gained traction, that meant humans moved on from their old ways and religions—from the other gods and from him.

Despite his presence once being well-known and called upon in times of need and worship and gratitude, his importance dwindled in the eyes of the humans until he was all but nonexistent. His very being and all his life’s work were boiled down to a name that was somehow both him yet not him, written offhandedly in a history textbook for children to be aware of for a test but to forget immediately afterward. His life became a story sometimes told in a mythology book or two, often censored and abridged for audiences to “understand better.” He became a name people were familiar with but knew little about.

And so humanity had moved on from him, but he hadn’t moved on from humanity.

He was still endlessly intrigued by everything they were about and everything they had to offer, but because of his godly status, he never dared to go down and explore for himself, despite other gods having done so for one reason or another. And every day he was a little more tempted to go down and see what was new and exciting. Every time he saw another god leave to head down, he got a little bit closer to asking if he could join.

That being said, he did stay connected where he could. Throughout all of human history, art had been made in his name, and sometimes he would clear his mind and connect to those works as he did back in the ancient days and listen in on what was being said. Sometimes he caught snippets of stories from those who stood nearby. Sometimes he heard tales of his own life being taught to a younger generation in museums. But it had been a long time since he heard anyone talk to him. And despite his lack of belief in Fate or Destiny or whatever you wanted to call it, he couldn’t help but wish for the times to change and for one person to talk to him instead of about him. He wished that someone would answer his pathetic call and just talk to him.

So imagine his surprise when one day someone picked up.

At first, he thought it to be an accident. No way had someone genuinely believed he was real and manifested the powers to protect them when they traveled at sea, nor had someone directly contacted him in years for any reason. With all the new methods of transportation and exploration in the seas and oceans, most people went on those devices willingly without saying a quick prayer to him for the waters to be safe. Which was fine, really. He knew his place. Doesn’t mean he didn’t feel a little pang of hurt every time he saw a cruise ship head out or people go boating or children learn how to canoe.

But no… this call was different. It wasn’t a history lesson, or someone singing to themselves near a statue of him, or just some background clutter. No, this one felt different. And so, Obi-Wan sat on the floor of his room, closed his eyes, and began to slip into a meditative state in order to hear the call better.

“—maybe… we hang the light a foot more to the right? And tilt it just a tiny bit backward… there. Perfect! Look at you, Poseidon—or do you prefer Neptune—whatever, it doesn’t matter. But look at you, all cleaned up, restored, illuminated, and ready to go on display when the exhibit opens tomorrow. Let’s hope the visitors appreciate you in your polished state. Are you ready?”

Ah, so a new exhibit was going up featuring, presumably, a statue of him made by one of the ancient Greeks or Romans he oversaw so many centuries ago. He was about to tune out the voice and slip out of his meditative state when the voice picked up again.

“—god I must sound crazy. Just look at me, talking to a statue of a god who doesn’t even exist.” A beat. “I wish you did though, you seem like you’d be better company than some of the other people around here. Wishful thinking, eh, Neptune? Or… Poseidon… ugh, this is what happens when it’s an ancient Greek and Roman exhibit, there are too many double names—”

And off the voice went on a tangent about finishing up illuminating each of the iconic pieces of artwork and organizing pamphlets about the new exhibit in the information stands. From the sounds of it, the person behind the voice presumably worked at some museum where a new exhibit of him and the other gods in his life was being put together.

Maybe… maybe he could go down and visit it sometime. At least to see the art he hadn’t seen in many years. And if he happened to stumble across the worker with the voice he just tuned into, then he’d consider that a happy accident despite that very claim going against his beliefs about Fate. But how could he head down from his home in the clouds without raising suspicion among the other gods? He was notorious for keeping his distance once humanity forgot him, instead preferring to observe from afar and rejecting any offers to head down to the land.

The answer came in the form of Anakin Skywalker—also known as Camulus, Svetovid, Teutates, Ares, Mars, Odin, and Montu, to name a few—the god of war and the manifestation of the spirit of battle. He was a frequent visitor of the land and was undoubtedly Obi-Wan’s best friend. Not to mention, he regularly asked Obi-Wan to join him in hopes of getting him “out of his hermit lifestyle and back to the land of the living,” to quote Anakin, but Obi-Wan had either made excuses or flat out rejected his offer. But maybe it was high time he said yes.

With his plan in mind, now all he had to do was wait for Anakin to approach him and ask. And sure enough, just a few earth days later, Anakin showed up outside of Obi-Wan’s room with a cheeky smile on his face and a “ready to be done with being a recluse?” comment as expected. And though Anakin wouldn’t ever admit it to Obi-Wan’s face, Obi-Wan could see the true concern reflecting in his eyes alongside the expectation of getting rejected. Typically, there would be a pain in his eyes following each rejection, likely stemming from the wedge that sat between them because, for all that they were best friends—brothers even—they didn’t always see eye-to-eye on godly matters. From this came the worry that always sat at the corner of every conversation because Obi-Wan (admittedly so) had been self-isolating from humanity and became a stickler for following the rules of the gods. Contrast that to Anakin who was laxer in his ways and open to embracing his feelings and attachments.

But that concern and pain would end today. Obi-Wan was tired of feeling sorry for himself and hiding away up here and being lonely despite never actually being alone.

He was ready for adventure again.

And so, it was with a resounding sigh and faked exasperation that he said, “Oh, alright.”

If he took a little pleasure in being able to cause such a shocked facial expression on Anakin’s face, then that was for him to know. Though, it was a moment later when Anakin’s face split into a wide grin that he felt any lingering doubts about going down to earth dissipate. Yes, this was the right choice. If not for himself, then for his relationship with Anakin.

The act of getting down to earth was a rather easy task consisting of exiting through a golden archway that teleported them to a location of their choosing. Obi-Wan hopped on Anakin’s coordinates and the two reappeared in a forest Obi-Wan was unfamiliar with, the lights and sounds of a nearby town being their guide on the trek.

Before stepping into the hustle and bustle of the town, Anakin and Obi-Wan had “normalized” themselves from their usual glowing, almost angelic appearance into something more humane and easily looked over, particularly nondescript and unassuming, using the powers they possessed. The less attention they brought to themselves, the better. It was safer not to risk the chance of revealing themselves. Back in historic and ancient times, it was more common for them to fall into crowds of people undercover and interact, getting to know and understand the circumstances humanity faced up close and personal instead of from a distance. But that had all changed once Obi-Wan, Anakin, and the fellow gods above all became characters in a history book.

Nonetheless, Obi-Wan treasured this one act of using his powers for fun instead of remaining dormant and simply controlling the seas in the same patterns and cycles. He looked over at Anakin, wanting to see if he was ready to head into the streets, when he was surprised to see Anakin’s eyes already looking his way, a smug smile tugging at his lips.

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan sighed, exasperation smothering the very word, “What is it?”

“Finally decided on getting a haircut?” Anakin replied, laughter playing on the edge of the question. Obi-Wan rolled his eyes at the question. Yes, usually when he came down to earth he sported a longer hairstyle—a godly mullet, as Anakin oh so lovingly called it, business in the front and the only fun you know how to have in the back—but times had changed, and Obi-Wan had figured it was time for him to as well, at least a little bit. So he did. It was less of a haircut and more of the decision to manifest with shorter hair, unlike a certain someone standing next to him who had apparently decided the opposite.

“Strong words coming from someone who’s sporting a mullet themselves,” he quipped back, turning his attention forward and beginning the trek to the town. Affronted was the only word to describe how Anakin reacted, cemented in his shock, before he shook out of his state and rushed to catch up with his friend, secretly happy to see Obi-Wan engaging in their familiar back-and-forth.

“It is not a mullet, Obi-Wan,” Anakin refuted. “It’s stylish and helps me blend in.”

Obi-Wan gives a quiet hmm in acknowledgment before replying, “Whatever you say, Anakin.”

And so the trek continued until they found themselves in a bustling town with car horns honking, people shoving themselves through crowds, and bright lights illuminating around them. It was both entirely overwhelming yet hauntingly intriguing. For as much as he wanted to look away from the circus before him, Obi-Wan couldn’t stop admiring and absorbing all the information thrown at him. Of course he was aware of how the earth and humanity had progressed from his perch in the clouds, but while it’s one thing to hear and know of something, it’s another thing to witness and experience that which you had heard so much about.

Through his daze, he’s just barely able to keep up with Anakin as they take to the sidewalks, Anakin walking in an apparent familiar cadence as if he already knows where he’s heading and knows the trek well. Perhaps there’s a destination Anakin frequents on his jaunts down to earth? Maybe Obi-Wan should’ve asked what Anakin had in mind before he agreed to this excursion, but it’s too little too late for that now. But still, asking the destination of their slightly fast walking couldn’t hurt, right?

“You know, Anakin,” he starts, “You never told me where you were intending for us to go today.”

“Oh,” Anakin flounders for a moment, as if not expecting the question. Curious. “I, uh, well I figured we’d go to the local art museum.”

“Really?” Obi-Wan is unconvinced, but plays along anyway, only the slightest bit of suspicion seeping into his tone.

“Well… I know you love learning and appreciating the more—how do you phrase it?—refined and civilized things in life,” Anakin jokes, “So I figured we could go to an art museum together.”

Well wasn’t that just the shock of the century. Art museums were far from Anakin’s usual environment. Why? Anakin was loud, brash, and impulsive, constantly itching to go out and meet action head-on, act now think later, a complete contrast to the usually quiet, serene, and contemplative nature that art museums held dear. And for all that Obi-Wan loved Anakin, there were certain environments he would never dare to be with him, art museums being one of them. But, considering Obi-Wan had agreed to join and Anakin actually seemed somewhat eager to go, he figured he could indulge Anakin just this once.

Besides, Obi-Wan figured there must’ve been some ulterior motive at play here, and if he played his cards right, he could figure it out.

“An art museum?” he asks casually, hoping maybe he’ll get a hint of this mysterious motive.

But Anakin immediately picks up on the slight curiosity in his words. “Yeah, why? You don’t want to go?”

“No, I wouldn’t mind going, I just didn’t know you’d be interested in that.”

“Well, people change, Obi-Wan. Maybe I’ve taken a page from your book and learned how to be stuffy and grandfatherly.”

Rude, Obi-Wan muses, but an unlikely story. He leaves it at that and instead asks Anakin what else he had on the itinerary for the day as they walk toward the museum. Apparently, the art museum is the highlight of the day, though Anakin does promise that if Obi-Wan would be open to indulging in human food—something that honestly means nothing to them because they can’t be satisfied on non-godly food—there’s a cafe not too far from the museum that they can hang out and people watch at. All-in-all, not a bad day. Could’ve been way worse given how differently he and Anakin define “a fun day out.”

Eventually, they do make it to the art museum in one piece, and Obi-Wan immediately takes note of how quaint it looks against the glamour of the surrounding town. Less bright colors and flashes of light on the exterior but still a commanding presence with its masonry that almost demands you to look at it and compels you to go inside.

They stand in the queue to get tickets and go inside, but once they do, Anakin starts walking off before Obi-Wan can even grab a map of the museum. He manages to snag one and just barely finds Anakin in the crowd of the entry foyer, leaving Obi-Wan to trail behind a couple of feet once he catches up as Anakin guides him to the Medieval and Renaissance art exhibit. They’re only a few feet inside the exhibit when someone calls out “Ani!” and the two whip their heads around in-sync to the sound of the voice, a chorus of shushing surrounding them.

It’s a short woman who approaches the pair, a charming smile on her lips and a glint in her eyes. She immediately goes to embrace Anakin and Obi-Wan thinks: ah, ulterior motive discovered. He looks at her professional attire, the low but elegant bun her brown hair is in, and the name tag he just barely caught a glimpse of and easily deduces that she must be a staff member here. Maybe once the two finally release each other Obi-Wan can say his greetings and find out more.

Luckily, she seems to be the sensible one between the two and releases Anakin after making eye contact with Obi-Wan, as if just now realizing that Anakin came with company. She tries to be blasé about the overly friendly interaction with Anakin by plowing forward in her introduction, holding her hand out for a handshake. Very interesting, indeed.

“I’m Padmé Amidala, one of the curators for this exhibit in the museum. You must be one of Anakin’s friends,” she greets. Obi-Wan takes her hand and gives it a slight shake. Her grip is firm but not tight, giving just enough of her away for him to understand that she is a person to be respected and in awe of but not feared. It’s easy to begin understanding how her dynamic with Anakin works.

“Pleasure to meet you. I’m Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

“Oh, so you’re the famous Obi-Wan. Anakin has told me so much about you.” Obi-Wan gives a side-eyed glance to Anakin, noting the innocent expression he wears and wondering just how much he’s revealed to Padmé.

“Interesting, he hasn’t mentioned you at all,” Obi-Wan responds, giving them both a teasing smile in some semblance of reassurance that he isn’t offended by this fact.

However, Obi-Wan can feel the lingering hesitation and slight nerves radiating off of Anakin, which is an unsurprising development. Gods aren’t meant to have deep bonds with humans. Loose friendships are typically accepted with only slight frowns, but once it strays into a tight-knit bond and attachments form, especially romantic ones, they’re frowned upon greatly. And between the two of them, Anakin is less of a stickler for the rules, instead preferring to live by his own interpretations and caveats to the rules—which means Obi-Wan knows that Anakin fears this friendship of his with Padmé will be scrutinized and berated.

Which… okay, is a valid concern considering Obi-Wan’s devotion to the rules, but Obi-Wan hates to be a snitch on his best friend. And as long as he doesn’t witness any actions that would confirm a more serious relationship, particularly romantic, Obi-Wan is willing to turn his eye to the obvious heart eyes and lingering touches the two share. Can’t tattle if there’s room for doubt and question.

He just hopes Anakin knows this himself. And he especially hopes that Anakin hasn’t told Padmé that he’s a god.

He decides to shake off these thoughts and turn the conversation to safer territory to try and ease Anakin some. “So, Padmé, I take it you work here. What is it that you do?”

Immense relief hits him like a tidal wave from Anakin with happiness trailing behind like seafoam as the wave recedes. Not wanting to make any open comments about Anakin’s feelings and potentially clue Padmé into their more than human nature, he settles for a quick moment of eye contact before focusing back on Padmé.

“I’m one of the museum curators here,” she confirms, “I mainly specialize with art in the Medieval and Renaissance exhibit as well as our Impressionist pieces.” She pauses to size him up, silently scrutinizing him and his reactions. Whatever it is she finds must satisfy her, because she continues as if nothing happened, “Have you been here before, Obi-Wan? We recently got some new pieces on loan from some collectors and other museums that are worth checking out.”

“This is my first time, actually,” Obi-Wan starts before Anakin jumps in, quick on his verbal heels, “Right! And I was going to show him around. Make sure he visits the highlights at least.”

Instantly Padmé’s face drops ever so slightly at the idea of this conversation ending and her parting from Anakin, but she composes herself well. But Obi-Wan would be blind not to notice Anakin’s disappointment too, so he decides to take matters into his own hands and says, “Though I’m more than capable of wandering on my own if you’d rather stay and chat with Padmé, Anakin.”

“Are you sure, Obi-Wan? I was the one who invited you out after all—”

“Nonsense, I’ll be more than fine on my own. Maybe then I’ll actually get to appreciate the art and read the descriptions like the grandfather you think I am,” he jokes. “I’ll meet you back by the entrance in a couple hours. Pleasure meeting you, Padmé, I hope we meet again soon.”

And just like that, Obi-Wan is off and he no longer has to be surrounded by the obvious desire for something more between the two that was only stifled from being acted on by his presence. When he’s a good distance away, he decides to stop for a moment and actually look at the map in his hand, and he’s pleasantly surprised by just how many exhibits, art movements, and cultural regions are housed in this art museum. With the knowledge that he may not be able to knock out every exhibit in one visit, he decides to make his rounds to the ones that intrigue him the most. 

He starts in the African Art section, admiring the ceramics and textiles created in various regions of Africa, before moving onto the Chinese bronzes, ceramics, and jades exhibition and it’s next-door Japanese screens and paintings exhibit. He’s thinking of swinging to modern and contemporary works when he looks at the map in his hands and eyes the Ancient Greek and Roman Art exhibit, reluctance setting in. Obi-Wan always feels a bit of hesitancy whenever admiring ancient creations because he remembers who the artists were and that fact makes him feel old and worn down in ways he never expected gods to feel like. Besides, wouldn’t it be narcissistic of himself to go and admire the times of old and perhaps even stumble upon a work of him?

Caution thrown to the wind, Obi-Wan decides to make his way to the Ancient Greek and Roman Art exhibit. With his head held high, he spots the tall glass doors to the exhibit and opens them slowly before stepping inside and almost immediately being hit by a whirlpool of nostalgia. Just seeing the vases, plates, coins, cups, relics, and statues on display make him nearly stumble on his feet. The faces staring back at him on the head busts by the entrance are so eerily similar to those of his friends that he feels his breathing stutter for a moment. It’s true that back in those times the gods were more… open to visiting earth. Back then they were more willing and able to interact with humanity and be treated kindly in return. Though, the stories of their escapades and interactions always seemed to be skewed and embellished among all civilizations.

But one thing that transpires over almost every civilization who ever believed in the gods and goddess that Obi-Wan is connected to is that they managed to nail one key feature of the gods in their stories: their extremities. Because at the end of the day, that’s what the gods all were—the best and worst of humanity, but maximized.

Obi-Wan prefers not to think about that fact and how, subsequently, he feels more than humans do and also has an awareness for the feelings of the other gods.

No, best not to dwell on that.

He decides that perhaps it’s best to move beyond the entryway and stop clogging up the doorway with his presence, so he begins to move through the exhibit, stopping every now and then to admire a certain work of art. By the time he’s gone through about half the exhibit, the sting of seeing those he knows etched onto bronze or marble is hurting less; he’s thinking he can finally start to appreciate the art more when he hears a voice.

But it’s not just any voice, it’s a voice he recognizes. And it’s not Anakin, nor is it Padmé. It’s a voice he’s heard before but he doesn’t know the person it belongs to. It’s familiar enough that he clings to it, scrambling through past and recent memories until finally it clicks:

The voice he’s hearing is the voice that recently talked to him via one of the statues commemorated in his honor.

And just like that, he turns his head around and begins to look around for the source. It’s like he’s a ship lost at sea and this voice is his guiding light home, if only he could find it. It takes a couple more seconds before finally his gaze settles on you, and it’s as if sunlight just burst into the room. He notices your eyes first and the way they shimmer with happiness as you wander through the exhibit, admiring the artworks yourself. But then he catches your smile as you turn to talk to one of the nearby patrons and the very sight of it makes him feel as if the world has just opened wide, opportunities he’s never considered laying out on many paths before him.

He takes a moment to shake himself out of his daze to properly take in your appearance. Judging on your outfit and the name tag that he just barely can’t make out and read, you are obviously a worker here, perhaps a curator like Padmé. You’re wandering the exhibit with an air of pride surrounding you, as if you’re happy that so many people are taking the time to come and appreciate the art before them. Everything about you is intriguing and he wants to introduce himself to you before this high feeling surrounding him comes crashing down and he goes back up to the clouds to spend out his immortal days alone and separated again from humanity.

Just as he’s about to take a few steps in your direction, he feels a harsh force of another body hit him in the side, nearly sending him toppling over onto a head bust next to him. He’s bracing for impact, praying that this piece of art somehow is a counterfeit and doesn’t cost more than he can even fathom (seriously, exactly how bad is inflation right now?) when he feels hands on his shoulders that push him back onto his feet. His hands immediately latch onto the ones grabbing him as he steadies himself. One he’s back on solid ground, he looks up to go thank whoever caught him when his heart leaps to his throat and he momentarily stops breathing because who else would be his savior than his guiding light?

He barely has time to even admire your speed and strength before you’re talking to him.

“Are you okay?” you ask and oh how he wants to hear more and more and more of your angelic voice. It’s as if you’re a siren, tempting him closer and closer to you until finally he is caught in your eyes and dancing among the many stars that twinkle in them. But suddenly he flushes with the realization that he’s been staring way too long and oh dear this is quite a messy first impression he really needs to redeem himself with something coherent and get this boat sailing back on course—

“Uh, y-yeah. Yeah. Fine. I’m fine. Never better, truly.” Shipwreck. What an utter shipwreck this is for him. Maker, he’s making a fool of himself. Amid his internal despair, he hears you giggle at his fumbling and his heart starts beating faster.

“Poseidon right?”

And suddenly his heart stops, his mouth drops every so slightly, and his face whitens. How have you possibly figured him out so quickly?

“What?” Is about all he can muster in response.

“Or Neptune, I guess, depending on which you prefer.” He’s silent. Awestruck. But you must pick up on the confusion and awe on his face because you elaborate, “You know… the sculpture right over there? The big marble one with a man holding a trident? The one you were staring at before you nearly crashed into this poor head bust of Zeus and broke this priceless piece of historic artwork? Really, what did the poor guy ever do to you? Surely he doesn’t deserve his head getting cracked open a second time.”

Oh thank the Maker, you were just referring to the art in the room. Which perhaps he should’ve accounted for instead of internally freaking out because he did willingly enter the Ancient Greek and Roman Art exhibit of the museum.

But you take his silent relief as continued confusion because you are suddenly rambling, “You know, because Zeus already had his head cracked open once by Hephaestus after Zeus swallowed a pregnant Metis and gave birth to Athena through his forehead?” You laugh awkwardly before plowing on, “Maybe I should stop talking now, sorry, sometimes I just go off about all these old myths, I just think they’re fascinating and—sorry, I’m doing it again aren’t I?”

He laughs in response to your weak joke and hearty explanation, and he starts to feel a little less wound up and nervous when he notices that you’re feeling the same way.

“No, no, it’s alright! It was very clever. Funny too,” he comments. The two of you share a smile and simply stare into each others’ eyes for a couple moments. But then he begins to worry that he’s making you uncomfortable by maintaining eye contact for longer than normal—except what is “normal”? How much has human etiquette changed since he’d last been on earth? Is this conversation already doomed? He decides to take the gamble anyway and clears his throat as his eyes flicker around the exhibit, trying to think of what else to say to you, before he lands on your name tag (what a pretty name you have) and he says the first thought that comes to mind.

“So, you work here then?” Not the best conversation starter, but it’s something, he supposes. Maker, what is wrong with him? He’s never been so nervous in his entire immortal life, but one conversation with you and suddenly he’s falling victim to all the nerves and anxieties of humans, but dialed up beyond a 10. Gods really are the maximization of humanity’s best and worst. What an awful time to be living this fact. Thankfully, you respond and break him out of his spiraling worries.

“Oh, yeah. I’ve been working here for the past couple of years as one of the curators. I actually worked on this exhibit. I helped organize and select all the pieces in the exhibit, arrange restorations and displays, and record all the art you see here. I’ll admit it’s rather hard selecting which art pieces would fit best with the message we’re trying to convey, not to mention the availability of many pieces of art also plays a difficult role, but I like to think it paid off in the end. There’s something special about all the pieces of art here,” you suddenly pause in your speech before walking over to the very Poseidon statue you thought Obi-Wan had been looking at earlier, and he follows, quick on your heels.

You continue, “Like, this statue of Poseidon, for example. It traveled through an ocean of time, across several continents, through several restorations, all to be right here, right now, in this very moment for you and I to admire.” You let out a sigh that Obi-Wan can only describe as wistful. “I can only wonder how it looked when the artist was creating it and when it was first unveiled.”

He wishes how he could tell you about when he first laid eyes on this statue of himself he had nearly burst into tears, sending a light rain over the agora from the intensity of his emotions. But he suppresses the urge. He wasn’t supposed to reveal himself to humanity, and even if he did let something slip, what are the odds that you’d ever believe him? The two of you are not close, and you never will be. His livelihood as a god forbids it.

Still…

There’s something about the sparkle in your eye as you wistfully look at the art, as if looking at it for the first time despite having seen it countless times before, and your passion for the ancient classics that he finds compelling. Initial literal-sweeping-off-his-feet encounter aside, there’s something about you that draws him to you.

You’re entirely intriguing to him, and he can’t quite pinpoint why. Not entirely, at least. It doesn’t hurt that he finds your ramblings of history and art to be adorable. Not that he’s admitting to anything more than simple infatuation at first sight. He wishes he had the chance to get to know you better beyond the confines of this Ancient Greek and Roman exhibit. But the two of you lead entirely different lives and he has to let this go.

But, he can allow himself this one instance of normal human interaction.

“I’m sure it must have been a sight to behold given how important the gods were to the Ancient Greeks and Romans,” he comments.

“Exactly!” Despite being a curator here and knowing the rules of the exhibits like the back of your hand, you are shushed by a nearby patron at your happy exclamation. Obi-Wan laughs softly at the embarrassed look on your face.

“Guess that’s my cue to switch topics,” you joke. Obi-Wan smiles kindly at you before you continue, “Basics then. I didn’t catch your name.”

“I didn’t throw it,” he winks at your unimpressed look. Luckily for him though, it cracks and transforms into a brilliant smile as the two of you share a laugh. No harm done.

“Okay, smartass, I’ll rephrase: what’s your name?” you ask. “Not all of us are lucky enough to talk with people who wear name tags.”

“Alright then, since you asked so nicely, I’m Obi-Wan. And it’s a pleasure to meet you.” He holds out a hand for you, which you easily take and give a shake. A slight zing runs through his body at the slight contact, his hand still buzzing even after you two let go.

“Pleasure to meet you as well. Is this your first time here?” you inquire.

“Ah, yes, my friend decided to take me,” Obi-Wan starts, but he can’t help but grumble out, “I think he’s a frequent visitor.”

You let out a giggle at his grumpy tone. “You make it seem as if that’s a bad thing. Surely it’s not that god-awful here?”

“The company sure makes it better,” slips out before he can catch the words, but he’s not blind to the pleased look on your face. Huh. Interesting. “I never thought he was interested in art museums but—”

“Obi-Wan!” Cuts through the air, loud and brash and diluted with the slightest hint of concern, immediately followed by shushing by other patrons. Obi-Wan sighs as he recognizes the voice of Anakin.

“—it would appear that he still hasn’t picked up on museum etiquette despite all those visits.”

You rub his arm gently, a look of playful sympathy on your face as you tell him, “How awful it must be to have a friend that cares about your whereabouts.”

But he’s suddenly finding it very hard to even pretend to be annoyed when you’re touching him with such care. All too soon, your hand is off his arm as Anakin makes himself known, sidling up right to Obi-Wan and immediately grasping his elbow.

“Where on earth were you? We were supposed to meet half an hour ago. I waited for you! And here I was thinking you were the responsible one—” Anakin is cut off by you attempting to diffuse the situation.

“I believe that’s my fault. I kept him here talking to me and I held him up,” you turn back to Obi-Wan, a bright smile on your lips and the stars twinkling once more in your eyes. Maker, if he didn’t know any better he really would think he was looking at the sun, his beacon of light. “It was lovely talking to you, Obi-Wan. Maybe you could come again soon and we can continue this conversation?”

“Of course.” It’s his automatic response, no thoughts, questions, or worries in mind. You just look so hopeful and he’s once again a ship in the night, setting out to sail the high seas but hoping to return to again safely, guided by your light. He can only hope Anakin doesn’t pick up on his infatuation with you.

“Great! I’ll let you two go then. Nice meeting you!” And just like the wind, you’re gone, moving on to other patrons and other works of art, sharing your knowledge and stories and passion with other lucky souls. Maybe he will come back.

“They seemed nice,” Anakin remarks with absolutely no subtly.

“I’m not sure what you think happened between us, but whatever it is, you’re wrong,” and with that Obi-Wan turns and begins walking out of the exhibit before Anakin can refute or comment on Obi-Wan’s building anxiety, giving him no choice but to follow.

The walk out of the museum, their time sitting and people watching at a nearby cafe, and the walk back to the forested area follow a similar pattern: Anakin trying to do some digging with heavy insinuations, Obi-Wan denying vehemently any theories and offering scant details, and neither one willing to back down from their stance. It’s an old familiar rhythm, and despite it being grating at times, it’s nice to feel a sense of normalcy with Anakin once more.

Eventually, they make it back up to their hidden sanctuary in the sky and part ways for the day. Once back in his dwelling, Obi-Wan sits down on a cushioned chair and mulls over his day. While going to the museum was fun and enlightening, his mind wanders back to a certain museum curator. The dark horse of the day. The unexpected detail. His beacon of light.

There’s something more to you, something he wants so desperately to know. He practically itches to go back to the museum and keep talking with you. You’re intelligent, beautiful, and humorous. You’re the sun, moon, and stars. He knows he can’t pursue a romantic relationship with you, and he knows friendships with humans are frowned upon if they get too close, but he reasons to himself that one more visit down to earth to speak with you wouldn’t hurt anyone. With this in mind, he closes his eyes and begins to reach out to see if he can hear you once again, but as he’s doing so, a realization dawns on him.

Meeting you is the closest he’s come to believing in Fate, and despite this going against his beliefs, he’s ready to set sail on this unknown voyage and see where your next meeting takes him.

[natsubeatsrock]

So, I’ve been watching Sword Art Online: Abridged Parody, and...

I don’t think it’s terribly controversial to say that SAO Abridged has become the gold standard for what a good abridged series can do. While Team Four Star took 3 legendary IPs, Final Fantasy VII, Hellsing Ultimate, Dragon Ball Z are all generally considered to be fairly decent as stories. As much as people complain about DBZ’s random power ups, it’s not as if it was incoherent. Things make a decent amount of sense and that was the worst of the bunch.

Sword Art Online is notoriously problematic. No doubt I’m not the first person to say that. Plenty of people have said as much all over Tumblr and Youtube. In abridging SAO, Something Witty Entertainment managed to improve on what happened originally.

Now, I want to do something incredibly nerdy. (As if I haven’t done nerdy things on this blog before.) One of my favorite things about SAO Abridged is its insane sense of connections between episodes. Things are referenced that don’t matter until much later and jokes are often built on previous events long before the present episode. Two of the big plot points of the current arc are built on information we learned in a few previous episodes. I want to argue that episode 2 is the most important episode of the first arc because of its connections to every other episode in the arc.

To start, the narrator in the cold open connects this episode to the one before it by saying that a number of players died after being idiots. Notably some jumped into fire. If you remember, Klein struggled to kill a pig and named his avatar Ballsdeep69. In episode 2, this is shown in this episode in that players haven’t read the manual compiled by beta testers.

Though, it’s not as if that;s  the only reason they’d fail. In episode 3, the leader of the Black Cats took some of the tutorial NPCs from missions. Kayaba blames this as a factor in people failing miserably in the season finale. But we’ll get to him soon enough.

The intro plays and we’re in a meeting of players who are trying to beat a boss. The idea is that people will strategize to beat a boss by working together. This doesn’t pan out well throughout the series. Kirito is able to tank hits from seven lower level players in episode 4. In episode 5, the meeting to beat Sheeptar happens after 7 people. When they go after the meeting, 5 more died.

Now Kibaou makes his only appearance in the series. I don’t want to make too many “this character makes their debut here” connections. Asuna and Tiffany make their debut and are important characters in this series, but I’m not talking about them in this way. Kibaou is minor enough that I can mention him here. His stupid entrance makes his takeover of the Aincrad Liberation Front in episode 10 seem like a negative statement about them more than a positive one for him.

Though, episode 8 shows a bit of their incompetence on their own. While Corbax thinks his strategy of “group up and hit it till it dies” is revolutionary, it’s about as revolutionary as he is Hispanic. The strategy’s true origin is episode 2, as an alternative to Kirito’s “final solution”. That doesn’t work well and Kibaou starts to take power as a result of Corvax dying.

We then get Asuna’s troubles with menus. She’s not the only one with these issues, considering we learn Yoko has issues with the menu in episode 6. However, this is one of many clever ways to hint at Asuna’s ineptitude with the game early on. While she’s shown to have a lot of innate skill in this episode, that’s despite her inexperience. For all the changes made from the original, this was best shown in both versions by Asuna using her real name as her avatar name in the final episode of the arc.

Something I didn’t pick up on right away was that the setup for Laughing Coffin comes from episode 2. One player receives messages he believed to be from Jesus. At the end of the fight, he gets the command to kill them all and the end card is preluded with a creepy version of “Jesus Loves Me”. They come up in episodes 6 and 9. In episode 4, it comes up that other groups like Titan’s Hand have come up.

But the big thing that you see from this episode is a theme that runs through the first arc of this show. Kirito sees this game as an alternative to the real world. It would be easiest to make this the only real connection to this episode, but that would be lazy. (Clearly, this was written before I realized how crazy this “one post a day” idea was.)

Kirito mentions that he has power he didn’t in the real world in episode 1. While that may have felt like a throwaway line at the time. In episode 2, he uses that power to tell off the idiots around him, just like he wishes he could have done in real life. And to be honest, he might not be right about being able to solo the boss, but he’s definitely better than most everyone else in the boss room. Asuna might be on par with him skillwise, but he has more experience than her.

I almost called this section of connections “Kirito is better than those around him.” While he’s not the strongest player in SAO, as we end up learning, he’s certainly better than most of the people he’s playing alongside. This ego serves as fuel for tagging with Silica in episode 4 under the supposed threat of Laughing Coffin. It’s why we get the formation of “The Kirito is Always Right Foundation” in episodes 5 and 6. It’s why he challenges Heathcliff in episodes 9 and 11.

But something happens.

In episode 3, he unwittingly joins a guild because he’s such an amazing player. However, that wasn’t enough to save his guild mates from dying. Sadly, he had just decided to open up to people and the ordeal closed him off to people and even emotions according to episode 4. In episodes 4, 5, 7, and 8 we get the sense that this event had a serious emotional impact on him.

However, through these events he learns to open up to people more. Going on missions and teaming up with othes, he starts to open up to people. This obviously leads to a relationship with Asuna and Yui original. As stupid as he still feels the people around him are, he still has respect for him.

In episode 2, he tells the people, “Shoot for the stars. It will make it more fun when I kick you back into the dirt.” In episode 8, we see a change in his epic rant, which happens to be my favorite moment in the series. On humans he says, “They are without question a complete write-off as a species. And how dare you make me care about them!” And when Kayaba goes on a similar rant to Kirito’s after his identity is revealed, Kirito plays defense for them, lukewarm as it is.

And wouldn’t you know? Kirito is told that he could have served as a leader and inspiration to the people in SAO because he is better than so many of them. Sure, Kayaba bring the idea up that same episode and a few episodes earlier in trying to recruit him for the Knights of the Blood Oath. However, the idea first came up in episode 2.

[jeonggukingdom]

splinters of love • day XXV [jhs]

pairing  ⟶ jung hoseok x fem!Reader

summary  ⟶ a collection of drabbles (one for each day of April) based on prompts by an online prompts’ generator site. Specifically  ⟶  • day XXV ↳ in which Hoseok speaks the word you never wanted to hear coming from his mouth. Goodbye.

genre  ⟶ pure heart-wrenching angst

rating  ⟶  PG-17

word count ⟶ 1.511 words

warnings  ⟶ heavy break up, depressing thoughts, pretty dramatic, a lot of metaphors to describe the pain better... wouldn’t read if you’re already in a sad mood, ngl

series masterlist  ⟶ here  (links on mobile may not work, if you’re looking for all the works in this series, you can click on the “!splintersoflove” tag and you’ll find them all there!)

His lips are tight in a thin line, his eyes are red and swollen and pain-stricken but most of all empty and the sight of them, of him and the defeated stance of his body makes you absolutely nauseous.

You are the cause of all of this and the sense of guilt is so heavy on your heart you can feel it crushing right in the middle of your chest, squeezed so tight it might stop at any given moment now.

Two days have passed since you last saw Hoseok.

You had a fight, one of many others in the past few months and he had left you, banged the door behind his back and didn’t return for full forty-eight hours, twenty minutes and eleven seconds. Yes, you counted them.

You tried to call him, tried to text him, hell, you called his friends even and only when Yoongi reassured you he was ok, that he was with him, it felt like air could pass again through your lungs.

But of course, his distance and his silence didn’t quench the ache you were feeling, the torment that had your nails beaten to the bone, your lips cracked under the forceful vice of your teeth, your hair tangled by the fingers tugging on them.

You were desperate. And afraid.

That fear that had you paralyzed for those two days doesn’t seem so misplaced now as you stare up at him.

Still, you are hopeful that you can fix this, fix it like you always do and go back to normal because there aren’t many things you know in your life but one of those is that you two love each other.

Hoseok’s eyes though are fixed on anything but you and the longer he stays like this, in perfect silence, the more you feel your heart sink between your lungs.

“Say something,” you beg him then, voice weak and trembling with all the anxiousness, the regret and the fear laced right between those two words.

Still, they are enough to make him jump, take a step back away from you as if you just pointed a gun to his heart and threatened to fire it.

You call his name softly, dare a few steps towards him until your hands can reach his and you really try to hide the hurt in your eyes as he recoils from your touch, shakes his head and closes in himself more concealing every little piece of him away from your sight.

It’s a defensive mechanism, you suppose, to keep himself standing and alive. The most important parts of him, the ridges of his heart and the niches of his soul you were so acquainted with, they are now tucked away, secured behind walls you cannot access or break through.

“I think we should break up.”

The first words he speaks to you after two days are those and you stare at him in shock for so long he is forced to shift his gaze from the ground up to your face.

You are crying. You are not even aware of it until the taste of salt fills your mouth.

“You don’t mean that,” you pathetically whimper in response and he grimaces at your words, shifts his gaze away from you once more, fixes it right behind your back on the emptiness of your apartment.

“We do nothing but fight, _______. I can’t take it anymore.”

You shake your head, try to gulp down the sobs and despair but you do a very poor job at it because your thoughts are too jumbled for you to function properly, for you to control your emotions.

Your entire world is breaking apart and you don’t know how to fix it. There must be a way to fix it, right?

“I love you, Hoseok,” your voice trembles alongside your bottom lip and a heavy sigh leaves his parted lips.

There are tears streaming down his face too now and you hate the sight of them, hate the fact that you are the one that put them there in the first place.

“I love you too, _______.”

You do not let him finish. The moment those words are out of his mouth you rush to him, put your hands on his face, pull him towards you to desperately kiss his lips but he recoils from your touch again, pushes your hands away as if you scorched him, takes a few steps back away from you so that he can breathe again.

The rift between you two seems to be getting bigger and bigger and the wider it gets, the more it feels impossible to abridge.

“Then why, Hoseok, why are you leaving me?”

You search his eyes, search for a coherent explanation as to why all of this is happening when you are still madly in love with each other, so much so it pains you to even think about not seeing each other again.

“Because sometimes love is not enough.”

Your heart breaks and you could swear he can hear it because his head snaps your way, his eyes turn big as he looks at you with guilt shining in his eyes.

Or maybe it’s the scream that left your mouth that did it as you hugged yourself as if to keep all of you intact before you physically break too and get scattered across the floor in tiny little pieces.

“We can’t keep going like this. We keep hurting each other and I’m tired, I’m so fucking tired. I don’t want to end up hating you, _______. I want to remember all the good times we had together, all our beautiful memories and not taint them with all the fights, the hurtful words… I love you, so much so I’m willing to let you go for your sake and mine.”

He says all of this through heavy breaths, with tears rolling down his cheeks, with trembling lips and hands balled into fists.

You understand him, you could even agree to all of that but you cannot accept it and you know you won’t in a few days, in a few months or even in a few years.

Hoseok is your one and only and you knew that from the very start. Hoseok was endgame, the man you were supposed to marry, have kids with and get old with but now that future is being ripped away from you and no matter how hard you try to cling to it, it still turns to dust between your fingers and slowly disappears.

You want to beg him for another chance, grasp his shirt so hard he simply won’t be able to leave you but you don’t for the very same reason he is letting you go.

You love him so much you are ready to give yourself up for him. All that you have ever been, all that you will ever be, it’s all his but only if it makes him happy.

Hoseok is not happy. He is not happy today just like he wasn’t happy two days ago or a week ago and maybe even a month ago.

So you stay silent, cry before him while gulping down all the words you wish to say to him. You choke on them, gag on them, suffocate on them but you do not speak them.

“Goodbye.”

It’s the last word you’d ever want to hear from him but it still leaves his mouth with a pained whisper and you hate yourself a little for letting him go like this, for not even daring to look at his face before he turns around and disappears behind that door once again, this time forever.

The moment the door clicks back in its hinges you fall on your knees.

You cry and scream and fist your hair until you are sure some locks will remain tangled between your fingers.

You a die a little on this very floor, give up a part of you that truly belonged to him and it takes you hours to rise from the ground to seek the comfort of your bed and the covers. They still smell a little like him on the side of his bed, just like the sweater draped around your body as you stare at a picture of you on the bedside table.

Your heart breaks a little bit more when you think about him coming to the apartment again just to get his things and completely disappear from your life without leaving any trace except for the memories you shared together.

You fall asleep whimpering his name, you wake up with the sound of it still on your lips and you go through your life as best as you can while your heart keeps screaming it over and over again where nobody can hear it.

Hoseok. Hoseok. Hoseok.

No matter how much you call for him, he does not come back and with each passing day, that shrivel of hope you had gets tinier and tinier until it disappears leaving you completely hollow.

Copyright © 2020 by jeonggukingdom. All rights reserved. Do not repost, do not steal, do not translate without consent.

[ober-affen-geil]

Riley, you are one of the few people I know who loves Shakespeare as much as I do. Which makes me want to ask you the tough question: do you have a favorite play? Or a favorite memory associated with a play? Do share 😁🤓

*vibrates a normal amount*

Hnnngggg ok. Ok so I said before that my first, my very first, introduction to Shakespeare was Romeo and Juliet in 9th grade and I hated it. It left me with the impression that Shakespeare was just another one of those things that people liked because it was old and therefore A Classic and I didn’t get what was actually compelling about a story where two kids died in such a preventable way. (Again please also recognize I was a baby aroace who Super Did Not Get It and still Does Not because it’s fucking dumb ok.)

I remember liking learning about the language, because again, this was our introduction to “Shakespeare” as a whole and while we only read one play we also were taught about iambic pentameter and the sonnet form at the same time. I remember thinking that part was cool but disliking the actual play. And we did even watch a version in class, this wasn’t a question of “oh I didn’t get it because I couldn’t see it acted” (we’ll come back to that) we watched the Zepherelli version in class and actually had the option of staying after school to watch the Leo DiCaprio one too. I saw both and still didn’t like the story.

But. 

In 10th grade we read Macbeth. And crucially, before we got to it in class, my mom decided I was old enough she was allowed to start using me as an excuse to see plays that she wanted to go to. This included the production my high school drama club was putting on which was a dinner theatre style play called “A Banquet at Dunsinane”.

What it was was essentially the last half of Macbeth starting at the banquet scene where Macbeth sees the ghost and everything starts going to hell in a handbasket. The “dinner theatre” part of it was that the audience functioned as all the filler guests at the banquet; we were set up in the school’s cafeteria arranged in a long rectangle with a “head table” for the actors and the stage space in the middle.

I know there’s been plenty of stuff written about how live actors feed off the audience energy in the room and how live performances are unique and charged with a special kind of energy that’s only able to be there because of the relationship and the implicit trust between the performers and the audience but the fact of the matter is, live theatre hits different. 

You can read the stage directions for Lady Macduff running off stage from her son’s murderer and you can see an actor do it on screen but when you are sitting in the room when she runs for her life literally screaming bloody murder (the stage direction is “Exit Lady Macduff crying ‘murder’ pursued by murderers” and the girl doing it in the version I saw had a hell of a set of pipes on her, she also actually physically exited the building through the cafeteria doors and the SLAM of the push bar when she hit it was An Effect let me tell you) it just hits different.

After that I was absolutely hooked, so if you want my opinion it’s this: if you want someone to get into a play, any play but Shakespeare especially, watch it before you read it and make sure it’s a live performance. Either actually attending one or finding a recording of one works imo, but the live aspect of it makes all the difference. Now. This is the part where I link a bunch of Shakespeare stuff I think is cool lol.

This is the YouTube page for the National Theatre in Britain, they’ve been putting some of their past Shakespeare performances up for free (temporarily) because of COVID so if you keep an eye on it you might be able to see some really cool shit. They just had “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” up, that was awesome. 

This is a short video with a linguist and his (actor) son talking about “original pronunciation” in Shakespearian works and how they’ve been able (more or less) to “reconstruct” the “accent” that Shakespearian works “should” have been performed it; the accent that makes rhymes actually work and reveal puns (filthy puns because this is Shakespeare ofc) that we’ve lost to time because pronunciation changes. It’s really fucking cool and I highly recommend.

This is The Complete Works of William Shakespeare, Abridged which is imo a must-watch for every Shakespeare fan, it is absolutely hysterical and is clearly written and performed by people who love and appreciate Shakespeare. I’ve seen it live twice as well as this version, 10/10 recommend.

Other Shakespeare things I recommend: - Slings and Arrows, a Canadian show about a theatre company trying to put on Shakespeare plays while hijinks ensue, each season arc ends up loosely mirroring the play they are putting on. (s1: Hamlet, s2: Macbeth, s3: King Lear) - Bill, a comedy/satire about “Shakespeare’s beginnings” done by the same people who do “Horrible Histories”. It’s witty and referential and includes a trans character (if you would like details on that please message me). - Shakespeare in Love, a movie (romcom mostly but also kinda not) about Shakespeare writing Romeo and Juliet while also lowkey living it. A lot better than the title suggests imo and I love it for the audience at the end reacting to the death scenes because it’s the first time anyone has seen how Romeo and Juliet ends. - ShakespeaRetold, a mini series the BBC put together that is modern adaptations of Macbeth, Much Ado About Nothing, A Midsummer Night’s Dream, and The Taming of the Shrew. (This is the version of Macbeth with James MacAvoy and the “when pigs fly” thing which is great, and the version of Much Ado where Hero is played by Billie Piper and at the end she’s basically like “no fuck you, you’re a dick” which is HELLA GREAT.) I recommend it because this particular adaption actually made me LIKE Taming of the Shrew because of how they played it which is a MASSIVE accomplishment because that show is pretty controversial. This is the clip I show people as an example of why I love it.

Anyway I love Shakespeare a normal amount, why do you ask.

[outofcontextsimsmachinima]

Please god do you have recommendations on the best series to watch

Some of my personal recomendations that I can list from the top of my head, I will be writing a lot of text below so hold onto your horses.

My Life- NatalieFirexx

Still running to this day and in its 12th season. So amazing to see the growth over the years. The first seasons are so funny in a sense of knowing a little Christian emo kid made them, but later seasons have developed into such an interesting story with beautiful visuals, incredible cinematography and relationships that you end up caring about so deeply. Every season has a new storyline to follow and it's always so wild remembering all that's happened in its 10 year run and thinking up what else is to come. Though season 12 is said to be it's final season and I look forward to seeing what Natalie has in store for us after the finale.

The story of My Life follows the Andrews family and their friends in everyday shenanigans, you know, the usual: teen pregnancy, kidnapping, vampires, murder, identity theft, angels, ghosts, hacked kids and love.

(There's also a My Life Abridged voice acting series of season 1 currently in the works, now at episode 5)

Smooth Criminal - SaltPepperSims1408

I always have fun rewatching this. Its only 2 seasons long and once again, a sims series that evolved over it's run. Following Abby as her life goes from normal (if you can call your illegal scientist parents experimenting on criminals in your basement normal) to having visions of her parent's test subject's past and joining his gang where hes the leader and battles a disease that gives him 10x the strength and intelligence of a regular human being. Catch is, this genetic disease is rare and makes you go insane. Most people with it end up insane by 30.

A series with a lot of guns, a badass female main protag, death, once again, teen pregnancy (which will be a common sims series theme), fun dream/vision sequences and in my opinion has a great sense of humour.

SaltPepperSims1408 also has a highly recommended voice over series (though incomplete) titled Apokalypsis, a group of young adults/teens trying to survive in an apocalypse.

CINDER - GrayLeeStudios

Based on the book CINDER by Marissa Meyer. Cinder is a beautifully made voice over series, great visuals, wonderfully told it's story, though it is incomplete at 5 episodes, each running 10-18 minutes. Loosely based on the original Cinderella story but in a futuristic Beijing, adding robots, a colonization on the moon and a deadly plague that has affected the Emperor.

The protagonist is the mechanic, Lihn Cinder. Despite how well known her work as a mechanic is, she is looked down on for being a cyborg and is presented for plague research where she and Prince Kai become closer.

Y O U T H - 1998sims

YOUTH is a retelling of Youth, also a sims series by the same creator that reached its second season before discontinuing. Already a series that dealt with real life issues and involved a lot of representation in its characters. YOUTH is a different experience with all new characters, even more representation and everyone still feeling real in a way where their identities don't define them but are in NO WAY erased at all, like they're real people. When comparing the two series you can see the similar storyline but now its so much fresher and with new characters, their decisions in these situations change. Follows the story of multiple characters in their teen years and learning to deal with being a teen or in some cases having to make adult decisions despite that. Currently up to episode 5 but there is still so much more to come.

1998sims is also the creator behind Avoiding Fate, Its Complicated (currently not available online) and the most iconic series that I HIGHLY suggest you watch; My Sims 2 Emo Teen Pregnancy Kidnapping Story

SOUP - SimFilm

This sims 3 voice over series is brand new, as of this month, with one episode released but I'm already in love with it. It has this deadpan sense of humour I can get behind and I'm really looking forward to seeing where it goes. It appears the episodes will be short and sweet but I really don't mind at all.

Our protagonist, Harris Gold, alphabetizes his life's misfortunes like a can of alphabet soup.

I quote "looks pretty decent on the outside, but when you open the can, you'll simply want to kill yourself"

The filming is wonderful, I love the voice actors and how well they play their roles, the story so far is fun and silly but deals with really strong issues other teenagers might have experienced growing up. Kind of like laughing the pain away and I adore it.

Raison D'etre - Cornymio

I haven't watched a lot of sims 4 machinima if im to be honest (since life to death stories are so rampant on YouTube at the moment and I'd rather just avoid them) but this series was very well made. Only 2 episodes but the voice acting is amazing, the sims custom animations are wonderful and at times the sims can be almost perfectly lip synced to the voices. Has an indie film vibe that I adore, very calming and I adore the camera work. This is a revamp of the creators old Sims 3 series by the same title.

Reine Reynolds enrols herself into a new school, here we meet a variety of students who are all relatable in one way or another with different relationships amongst themselves. A nice watch and won't take long to get through.

Marry Me! - Tickled007

This is actually a companion piece to Marry You by Maot Productions. Marry You has more episodes and progressed it's story much further but personal preference I like Marry Me!'s characters and humour better. Not a fault to the creators though, since I believe they wrote both stories together and I do still recommend you go watch Marry You as well, just my personal taste. I also watched this very recently which is probably why it's on my mind rn.

Marry Me! Is a 2 episode long (so far) voice over series that's quite high energy, it's about a loud "bitch" fashion designer called Serafie and a "pushover" called Carmion. Two opposites that somehow cross paths and after a money hiccup, Seraphie demands that Carmion marry her. I love how silly it is, very kdrama inspired. If you can get past the overused swooping sfx in episode one (which drove me insane but will go away in episode 2) I think it's super enjoyable.

Tickled007 is also the creator of Passcode Unknown, Too Popular and And... Obvious.

I feel it unfair not to mention Maot Productions other creations either since they were also a big part of the Marry Me! Marry You project. They created Sense Me Not!, Corrupted Souls, Cruel Temptation and Retribution

Other simmers and their series that I highly recommend but realise this ask is going to get extremely long

EkolarasMagnum

Their series tend to have this grungy highschool feel to them but I get behind it. They're known for their more interesting sims style, some people love it, some people hate it but it shouldn't get in the way of the interesting stories. I used to adore their work so much as a teenager!

- Advocated

- Strangers

- Volatile

PumpkinsAtTheDisco

Made a variety of sims series based on books (before these same books were made into films) such as the Hunger Games. This creator is incredibly talented from filming, writing to composing their own music. You can really see their improvement over the years too. I love their work.

- The Hunger Games

- Miss Peregrines Home For Peculiar Children

- Dimension 17

- Post Icarus

- Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

StarsToShinex

Their concepts are fun and they have good voice actors. Their filming and editing is nice but their work does have an anime feel if that's more your taste.

- Spotlight

- My guardian

- My guardian- the next chapter

- Seeking Faith

- The last day

MajesticFilms

Their aesthetics are lovely, they make a lot of visually pleasing machinima. I admire their editing.

- Paper Boats

- Arsonist's Lullaby

- Sounds of Silence

- Machinima playlist

ViNtAgELovv11

Still works on videos now and I adore their work, been around for 10 years and only continuing to improve. I believe their most known series wou lkd have to be wasteland but please check out their newer works too!

- Scum City

- Wasteland

- Wonderland

- Runaway

- ROADS

There are so much more and i might make a pt.2 or something along those lines one day since this ask is getting long. But I also have a list of simmers and series on my navigation page if you want to search through some more works.

[plague-of-insomnia]

So Andre suggested I post my serial original fiction, In/Exhale, on AO3.

The thing is, I wrote season 1 in like 2012, and it was the first time I had tried to write the story for a public audience... so I would have a huge urge to re-write/Re-edit it (again)... but I honestly don’t really have the time/energy for that.

Would anyone be interested in reading it via AO3?

(In its current state. You can read it via free downloadable ebook on my site right now.)

It’s on on-going series, with three complete seasons so far, probably like 300-500K words.

I know several of you expressed interest in reading some of my original work. When I asked that question I wasn’t thinking of I/E, but it is a story very close to my heart.

Here is some info about the story from my website:

Here’s a tiny excerpt from the first episode (abridged):

Kai tried to bite back the wave of regret that swept over him. Sure, he’d lost a few years, but that was behind him. He had a future now, one he hadn’t thought would be possible, and he needed to focus on that. He’d put the past firmly behind him, and focus on the now, on the possibilities ahead of him instead. And none of these people had to know any of it, if he could help it.

It only took a few minutes to reach the third floor, and Kai shuffled out behind a couple of cute girls. He wondered if he could ever bring himself to get close to someone again. Not just in bed--he had Nikki for that, and what they had was incredible--in fact, he planned on seeing her tonight after his classes. But growing up as an orphan in a home, he'd always dreamed of having a family someday. A wife whom he loved, and who loved him, some kids. Most of his life that had been as big a fantasy as flying, but then he'd met Becca. Becca, who he'd thought could maybe be the one, who would stick with him despite everything.

Kai felt his hands balling into fists as he wandered down the hall for his first class. New start, new start, he thought, fighting his fingers' instinct to sign the words as he finally found room 312, shuffling in behind a few other students.

Room 312 was one of the large auditorium-style lecture halls on campus, with stadium seating leading up in tiered rows, divided into three sections by stairs. It was still early; class didn't start for at least another twenty minutes, so plenty of seats lay empty. Kai glanced at the front row, where there were gaps obviously intended for wheelchairs and sighed despite himself before turning his attention to the stairs and the far top back of the room. Troy had told him to push himself as far as he reasonably could, and although he had avoided stairs as a general rule for most of his life, he decided to give them a try.

Without his crutches or a handrail it was harder than it could have been, and halfway up Kai debated stopping. But he'd been trapped at the bottom of rooms like this so often in his life, and the thrill of his breath coming so easily even as his exhalations and inhalations grew quicker and shallower, encouraged him to keep going.

When he finally reached the top, he collapsed in the first available seat, staring down and reveling in his achievement. He knew it was silly, and it wasn't like he'd ever seen a mountain, but he realized this must be what it felt like to climb one and look down, admiring the view, knowing what you did to earn it. It wasn't the most practical seat for various reasons.

Kai was so lost in his own thoughts he hadn't realized a girl had sat down beside him. It was her aroma that got him first; one of the things Kai had enjoyed most since he'd been extubated post-transplant was getting his sense of smell back. She smelled delicate and floral; he couldn't quite place the exact scent, but it was subtle and lovely. A body spray, perhaps, instead of a perfume. Certainly not pungent enough to provoke an attack if this had been before.

When he turned his head, he realized she'd been staring at him, and for a moment, he grew nervous. Had his collar dipped or come undone and she could see his trache scar? He knew it was creepy looking, especially if you'd never seen anything like it before. Reflexively, he brought his fingers to his neck, and maybe she sensed she'd been staring, because she blinked, shook her head, and smiled.

"Sorry." She cleared her throat. "I'm Renee Poche," she said. Her voice was soft and sweet like her scent; clearly, she wasn't from the Midwest.

"Kai Fox," he replied, offering his hand, reluctantly dropping it from his throat.

She smiled. God, she had a beautiful smile. She was petite; it was hard to tell how tall now that they were sitting, but it was yet another indication that she wasn't from around here. Her hair was dark--almost black--and curly. Kai didn't know much about women, but it looked natural, her thick tendrils perfectly framing her face in a managed chaos he found entrancing despite the fact that Becca also had curly hair.

"That's an unusual name. You a freshman?" She asked as she pulled a notebook and pen out of her bag.

Kai flushed slightly, realizing how silly it was for his body to react this way. "Yeah." He couldn't manage to say more than that.

She flipped her desk out and laid her supplies on it, smiling the whole time. "I'm an architecture student, so my program's five years. I'm a second-year right now. But I put off most of my core classes last year, so here I am."

Kai grinned despite himself. He wanted to touch her curls, feel their softness on his skin, never stop smelling her unique floral scent. His stomach churned and he knew immediately he wanted to know more about her--everything. Suddenly, his chest grew tight, and his face paled. No. This hadn't happened since. . . . Reflexively, he dropped his hand to his right pocket, feeling the inhaler beneath his palm.

"You OK?" Her face was so concerned and sincere, and she'd reached for him, placing a warm, tiny hand on his arm.

He stared at it, forced himself to take a few slow breaths, realizing he was OK. They'd experimentally grafted the most important nerves, so he had more sensation than most transplant patients, but it was different than before, something he was still getting used to. The tightness could have been his imagination. How was it that this girl he hardly knew, whom he'd just met, could make him feel so off kilter? He eased his lips into a smile to reassure her and give backing to his words.

"Yeah. Sorry." He swallowed. "First day jitters, I guess," he added with a bit of a blush.

She laughed, a musical, lilting sound that made him grateful for his hearing. "So what classes are you taking this semester?"

Kai thought a moment. "World History I, English Comp, Intro to Philosophy, Intro to Psych."

The professor had arrived and was setting up for the lecture, writing "World History I, H101, MILLER" on the white board.

"Me too," she said. "I mean, I have those same classes. We should sit together in them, too."

Kai felt a warm flutter in his stomach. "I'd like that."

Renee looked as if she were about to say something else when the professor cleared his throat and began to speak. He was a short, chubby, bearded man, or perhaps his height was an illusion created by the distance, dressed almost stereotypically in khakis, simple button-up, and tartan sportscoat with brown patches on the elbows.

"Welcome, ladies and gentleman, to World History I. This course will fulfill your common curriculum requirement, but only if you study hard and pass my exams."

Kai knew he should be taking notes, but he'd nearly forgotten himself, so entranced by Renee, so he fumbled for his bag to grab a notebook and his own pen. It could have been his imagination, but she seemed to be casting glances at him every few minutes, smiling the entire time.

"Many people ask, 'why study history?'" Professor Miller leaned on his podium as if he were studying the class, taking everyone in one by one. With nearly three-hundred students in this section, there was no way he could know them all, and Kai knew he and Renee were just two in a sea of faces. "Of course, the easy answer is 'because then we're doomed to repeat it.' However, I think life is far more complicated than that."Professor Miller abandoned his podium and crossed so he was nearer to the first row of students, laying one arm across his stomach and balancing his opposite elbow in the palm of his hand, supporting his chin on his fist. "I believe that the past, however behind us it may seem, is never truly gone." Miller again searched the faces in the crowd, and for a split moment, despite being dozens of feet away, Kai felt as if their eyes met, and his pulse quickened, nervous, but not sure exactly why. He glanced over at Renee, partially so he didn’t have to look at the professor, and partially to simply steal a peek at her. She had her head bent over her paper, as if she were taking notes, but he could see from here her page was blank.

"The past is always a part of us, and as much as we may like to forget that, not only can't we, we mustn't." Professor Miller nodded his head, then turned his back on the audience.

Kai knew Miller wasn’t speaking to him, couldn’t be speaking to him, but why did his words feel so personal? And why couldn’t one forget the past? Kai had done it before, shifting dark memories into the deep recesses of his brain, never talked about, never thought about. Why should now be any different?