#every time i make one of these one year is added to my lifespan

[borlgidaan]

[mo-ok]

when your favourite ninjas have a couple hyper specific things in common

[journeytothewestresearch]

I've heard the idea that Monkey is 7 times immortal thrown around a couple times, but my count has only ever gone up to 4 (the peaches, the pills, the wine, and his daoist studies). How immortal IS Monkey?

(Note 09-07-2024: I am going to edit this for more clarity. It will differ from previously shared versions.)

I count eight categories of immortality.

In place of using “layer” or “level,” I’m choosing to designate his various immortalities as “categories.” This is because a new layer of divine longevity or durability would surely be added for each immortal peach, elixir pill, or cup/jug of heavenly wine consumed. Hence, eating multiple peaches would be one category, eating multiple elixir pills would be one category, and so on and so forth.

There are two sets. The first are achieved before or during the journey:

1) Daoist Longevity Arts - Ch. 2

I discuss the exact methods here.

A photomanipulation by me.

2) Erasing Allotted Lifespan - Ch. 3

[After Monkey is summoned to hell in his sleep and thereafter threatens to beat the Judges of Hell for their mistake] The Ten Kings immediately had the judge in charge of the records bring out his [Sun's] books for examination. The judge, who did not dare tarry, hastened into a side room and brought out five or six books of documents and the ledgers on the tens species of living beings ... He [Monkey] had, therefore, a separate ledger, which Wukong examined himself.  Under the heading "Soul 1350" he found the name Sun Wukong recorded, with the description: "Heaven-born Stone Monkey. Age: three hundred and forty-two years. A good end." Wukong said, "I really don't remember my age. All I want is to erase my name. Bring me a brush." The judge hurriedly fetched the brush and soaked it in heavy ink. Wukong took the ledger on monkeys and crossed out all the names he could find in it. Throwing down the ledger, he said, "That ends the account! That ends the account! Now I'm truly not your subject" (Wu & Yu, 2012, vol. 1, pp. 140-141).

A print from the Japanese children book Son Goku (1939).

3) Immortal Peaches - Ch. 5

[After being appointed the guardian of the Queen Mother of the West's immortal peach groves] The Great Sage ... asked the local spirit, "How many trees are there?" "There are three thousand six hundred," said the local spirit. "In the front are one thousand two hundred trees with little flowers and small fruits. These ripen once every three thousand years, and after one taste of them a man will become an immortal enlightened in the Way, with healthy limbs and a lightweight body. In the middle are one thousand two hundred trees of layered flowers and sweet fruits. They ripen once every six thousand years. If a man eats them, he will ascend to Heaven with the mist and never grow old. At the back are one thousand two hundred trees with fruits of purple veins and pale yellow pits. These ripen once every nine thousand years and, if eaten, will make a man's age equal to that of Heaven and Earth, the sun and the moon..." One day he [Monkey] saw that more than half of the peaches on the branches of the older trees had ripened, and he wanted very much to eat one and sample its novel taste. Closely followed, however, by the local spirit of the garden, the stewards, and the divine attendants of the Equal to Heaven Residence, he found it inconvenient to do so. He therefore devised a plan on the spur of the moment and said to them, "Why don't you all wait for me outside and let me rest a while in this arbor?" The various immortals withdrew accordingly. That Monkey King then took off his cap and robe and climbed up into a big tree. He selected the large peaches that were thoroughly ripened and, plucking many of them, ate to his heart's content right on the branches. Only after he had his fill did he jump down from the tree. Pinning back his cap and donning his robe, he called for his train of followers to return to the residence. After two or three days, he used the same device to steal peaches to gratify himself once again One day the Lady Queen Mother decided to open wide her treasure chamber and to give a banquet for the Grand Festival of Immortal Peaches, which was to be held in the Palace of the Jasper Pool. She ordered the various Immortal Maidens ... to go with their flower baskets to the Garden of Immortal Peaches and pick the fruits for the festival ... [After meeting with the Great Sage's ministers] The local spirit went into the garden with them; they found their way to the arbor but saw no one. Only the cap and the robe were left in the arbor, but there was no person to be seen. The Great Sage, you see, had played for a while and eaten a number of peaches. He had then changed himself into a figure only two inches high and, perching on the branch of a large tree, had fallen asleep under the cover of thick leaves (Wu & Yu, 2012, vol. 1, pp. 161-162).

A new years print found online.

4) Immortal Wine - Ch. 5

Our Great Sage could not make an end of staring at the scene [the heavenly feast set for the Immortal Peach Banquet] when he suddenly felt the overpowering aroma of wine ... standing beside the jars and leaning on the barrels, he abandoned himself to drinking. After feasting for a long, he became thoroughly drunk... [...] [After returning to Flower Fruit Mountain and meeting with his children, he says] "When I was enjoying myself this morning at the Jasper Pool, I saw many jars and jugs in the corridor full of the juices of jade [yuye qiongjiang, 玉液瓊漿; lit: "Jade liquid and jade syrup"], which you have never savored. Let me go back [to heaven] and steal a few bottles to bring down here. Just drink half a cup, and each of you will live longer without growing old" ... He took two large bottles, one under each arm, and carried two more in his hands. Reversing the direction of his cloud, he returned to the monkeys in the cave. They held their own Festival of Immortal Wine [Xianjiu hui, 仙酒會], with each one drinking a few cups" (Wu & Yu, 2012, vol. 1, pp. 165 and 167).

A screenshot from the 1986 Journey to the West TV show.

5) Immortal Elixir - Ch. 5

[After Sun Wukong drunkenly stumbles into Laozi's laboratory in the Tushita Heaven] He found no one but saw fire burning in an oven beside the hearth, and around the oven were five gourds in which finished elixir was stored. "This thing is the greatest treasure of immortals," said the Great Sage happily. "Since old Monkey has understood the Way and comprehended the mystery of the Internal's identity with the External, I have also wanted to produce some golden elixir on my own to benefit people. While I have been too busy at other times even to think about going home to enjoy myself, good fortune has met me at the door today and presented me with this! As long as Laozi is not around, I'll take a few tablets and try the taste of something new." He poured out the contents of all the gourds and ate them like fried beans (Wu & Yu, 2012, vol. 1, p. 166).

A detail from the 1835 Japanese translation of Journey to the West.

6) Ginseng Tree Fruit - Ch. 24

In the mountain there was a Daoist Abbey called the Five Villages Abbey [Wu zhuang guan, 五莊觀]; it was the abode of an immortal whose Daoist style [name] was Master Shenyuan [Shenyuan zi, 鎮元子] and whose nickname was Lord, Equal to Earth [Shi tong jun, 世同君]. There was, moreover, a strange treasure grown in this temple, a spiritual root that was formed just after chaos had been parted and the nebula had been established prior to the division of Heave and Earth. Throughout the four great continents of the world, it could be found in only the Five Villages Abbey in the West Aparagodaniya Continent. This treasure was called grass of the reverted cinnabar [cao huan dan, 草還丹], or the ginseng fruit [renshen guo, 人參果]. It took three thousand years for the plant to bloom, another three thousand years to bear fruit, and still another three thousand years before they ripened. All in all, it would be nearly ten thousand years before they could be eaten, and even after such a long time, there would be only thirty such fruits. The shape of the fruit was exactly that of a newborn infant not yet three days old, complete with the four limbs and the five senses. If a man had the good fortune of even smelling the fruit, he would live for three hundred and sixty years; if he ate one he would reach his forty-seven thousandth year. [After Wukong learns the complicated method of harvesting the fruit] Parting the leaves and branches, he knocked three of the fruits into the sack ... The three of them [Monkey and his brothers] took the fruits and began to enjoy them (Wu & Yu, 2012, vol. 1, pp. 453 and 462-463).

Monkey holding ginseng tree fruit. Image found online.

This previous article talks about the history of this magical fruit.

Sun Wukong is not truly immortal during the journey, just long-lived and hard to kill. Immortality in Ming to Qing-era popular literature means that you can live for a long time but still die if injured badly enough. Think of it like an infinitely long candle being blown out instead of having a chance to burn for centuries or eons. For example, Investiture of the Gods (Fengshen yanyi, 封神演義, c. 1620), a sort of prequel to Journey to the West, is full of immortals killed in battle with heavenly weapons. Some even have their immortality sapped away before dying in one of many celestial traps. The biggest of these traps is the "Ten Thousand Immortal Array" (Wanxian zhen, 萬仙陣), so named because it can apparently kill myriad transcendents.

The second set of immortalities are achieved at the journey’s end once they reach the Buddha’s blessed land. These shouldn’t be lumped together with those acquired before and during the pilgrimage.

7) Divine food and tea - ch. 98

Then Buddha turned to call out: "Ananda and Kasyapa, take the four of them to the space beneath the precious tower. Give them a vegetarian meal first. After the maigre, open our treasure loft for them and select a few scrolls from each of the thirty-five divisions of our three canons, so that they may take them back to the Land of the East as a perpetual token of grace." The two Honored Ones obeyed and took the four pilgrims to the space beneath the tower, where countless rare dainties and exotic treasures were laid out in a seemingly endless spread. Those deities in charge of offerings and sacrifices began to serve a magnificent feast of divine food, tea, and fruit-viands [仙餚、仙茶、仙果] of a hundred flavors completely different from those of the mortal world. After master and disciples had bowed to give thanks to Buddha, they abandoned themselves to enjoyment (Wu & Yu, 2012, vol. 4, p. 349). [...] This time it was Eight Rules who was in luck and Sha Monk who had the advantage, for what the Buddhist Patriarch had provided for their complete enjoyment was nothing less than such viands as could grant them longevity and health and enable them to transform their mortal substance into immortal flesh and bones [... 壽長生，脫胎換骨之饌，儘著他受用。] (Wu & Yu, 2012, vol. 4, p. 350).

While the quote refers directly to Zhu and Sha, Monkey certainly benefits from the meal as well, gaining another category of immortality.

Monkey eating yummy food.

8) Buddhahood - ch. 100

Sun Wukong, when you caused great disturbance at the Celestial Palace, I had to exercise enormous dharma power to have you pressed beneath the Mountain of Five Phases. Fortunately your Heaven-sent calamity came to an end, and you embraced the Buddhist religion. I am pleased even more by the fact that you were devoted to the scourging of evil and the exaltation of good. Throughout your journey you made great merit by smelting the demons and defeating the fiends. For being faithful in the end as you were in the beginning, I hereby give you the grand promotion and appoint you the Buddha Victorious in Strife [Dou zhansheng fo, 鬥戰勝佛] (Wu & Yu, 2012, p. 381).

I'm adding this as another immortality category since as a Buddha, he is now completely free of the wheel of reincarnation.

It’s important to note that the novel ends before Monkey is able to perform any feats as a Buddha. Therefore, making claims about his subsequent abilities is outside of canon.

A lovely drawing of Sun Wukong as a Buddha by the talented @ninjahaku21art.

Source:

Wu, C., & Yu, A. C. (2012). The Journey to the West (Vols. 1-4) (Rev. ed.). Chicago, Illinois: University of Chicago Press.

[intothedysphoria]

Bloody hell, it’s been a fucking age since I’ve done one of these

Hey Harringrove nation besties. It’s gonna be ok.

I know it doesn’t feel like it with the state of well, anything that’s going on in the world but it will be. So I have created a list of good things both in the world of two fictional gay teenagers and a few things happening in the real world rn that are not depressing as shit

We have a new Dacre project coming! And it looks gooddddddd

If Billy was alive in 2024, he’d definitely be a Chappell Roan fan

I have now seen a photo of Joe in a yellow crop top and it has added several years to my lifespan

Imagining Harringrove running a drag race recap podcast that they’ve named something absolutely filthy and they’re happy and out and together

I do truly think Dacre knows what he means to us

Mullets are in full force again and the amount of men I have seen who look exactly like Billy Hargrove is incredible

Steve makes Billy teach him how to surf and he somehow manages to capsize every single time

Billy Hargrove’s hatred for capitalism lived on and on todays 4th of July, the UK got rid of the fucking Tories. Starmer may be a wanker but he isn’t a fascist.

@shieldofiron exists and I know I told her I wouldn’t tag anyone in this but Saf is one of the best people I know genuinely and she’s one of my best friends

This fandom is and continues to be one of the most resilient online communities I know. It’s been a tough year but the compassion I’ve seen people show each other in these spaces has really made me regain hope. And remember abuse is not the end, recovery is not linear and you will be ok. Promise.

(Yes this is actually me, I’m just on a new account!)

[katethevampire]

All right so the new episodes just came out like 20 minutes ago for me (oh yeah me from the future here it ended up taking me about 3 hours to finish watching the episodes cuz I kept pausing to write stuff in between so uh yeah lol) so everything under the cut will be my live reaction to everything. I'll add time stamps so you know where I'm at in the episodes. I can guarantee you that I will be sticking to my promise about potentially eating paper if I'm wrong about Sir Pentious not dying. Which honestly now I'm not sure if anyone will die, it was pretty much confirmed in a live stream that angel dust isn't going to be the one to die so my money is on one of the Angels. Also I'm using voice to text and while I'll try and fix any misspellings or wrong words I might miss them.

LOTS OF SWEARING PROBABLY also I very much abuse capslock

EPISODE 7

00:51- I love Sir Pentious looking at Keke I just thought I should mention that

01:03- OH MY GOD NO KEKE MOVED TO HIS LAP AND HE'S PETTING HER I LOVE HIM SM

01:10 aw Alastor was sleepy you guys woke him up!

01:22- I CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE RAZZLE AND DAZZLE BEING CUTE CHARLIE IS CRYING

01:29- he did the gay little hand thing

01:50- okay so I've already seen this part because of the small leak but I cannot get over the fact that Alastor has his shoes on the bed!! Like man take those off you're getting it dirty!!!!

01:59- mfs kicking his feet on the bed acting like a high school girl about to ask out her crush on the phone at a sleepover like dude you're a serial killer you can't do this to me 😭 also I should probably slow down cuz I'm making an update literally every 2 seconds

02:18 BROS CHECKING HIS NAILS AND DOING THAT POSE WHILE MAKING FUN OF HER ABOUT THE FACT THAT SHE UNINTENTIONALLY MIGHT HAVE CAUSED THE DEATHS OF MILLIONS 💀💀💀 so fruity i love

2:33- Alasto be like "it's called masking deary. Ever heard of it?"

2:44- if he wasn't saying this in such an evil manner right now I'd be saying he's so me frfr

3:07- what do I even say to that line. He popped off but also like respectfully I think I've heard a third grader say the exact same thing

3:53- OKAY SO I WAS GOING TO SAY SOMETHING BUT I'VE COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN LOOK AT THIS FRAME, this could easily be the profile picture for someone's film review channel and I'm not 100% sure that people will understand what I mean by that unless you know a very specific person

04:38- Alastor is in his hat man era

4:33- okay so a few things, thank you subtitles for telling me that the music is edgy I feel like just the word tense would have worked on its own but I appreciate it nonetheless. Number two, I don't like seeing the girlies be mad at each other :(

05:34 I will support my boy Sir Pentious through and through he did nothing wrong!!

06:54- not the voice I was expecting for Rosie but pop up Queen she speaks the truth

07:24- ROSIE KNOWS WHAT YOU ARE ALASTOR. Also his confusion, I love him so much

11:04- she's kind of like that one Pokemon

Ad time!- I DON'T CARE ABOUT VITAMIN PILLS THAT DOUBLE MY LIFESPAN

11:13- catabettes! Cannibals and catabettes!!! This is going into my vocabulary from now on. Also this frame that I paused at I love her face.

11:57- ugh, susan. All my homies hate Susan

12:54- I have a dream, I'm here to cause a scandal in the cannibal square

13:37- :( well it wasn't obvious to me I just thought the x over the eye was to look cool :(

14:35- SONG FUCK YEAH

15:26 If this song came out years ago I know for a fact there would have been an undertale parody version of it. Also I just got a cosmic brownie and some chocolate milk let's go guys we're eating good tonight

16:00 HOLY FUCKING SHIT SHE CAN JUST GROW BACK HER WINGS

16:30- therapist Rosie is not something I thought I'd be seeing today but honestly I love it. Also I don't think I'm going to be able to finish these episodes today because I'm only a little over 15 minutes through and I've been watching for like almost over half an hour and also I just realized that what if Lucifer is the one that dies?

18:12 ALASTOR GAVE HER HIS MICROPHONE I'M GOING TO EXPLODE INTO A BAJILLION CRYING PIECES RAHHHHHH

19:38 I'm going crazy I'm going insane right now bro literally what how I don't know what to say I love this act I don't know, it's just really good I don't know what to say like this is cool I don't I DON'T KNOW! IT'S I I LIKE IT everybody in cannibal town is cool and I like them and it's like 10 seconds later now and they're literally So based like free food like so me I don't know I'm just rambling at this point

20:56 ALASTOR AND ROSIE'S LITTLE DANCE THEIR LITTLE TIPPY TAPS OH MY GOD YES

21:06- alastor, you know it's not right to make someone your political puppet. Your little dances are cute though so I'll allow it for now.

I don't know why it thought I was speaking Spanish for a second but anyways that episode was really cute and good and I liked it but I'm also scared for the next episode cuz like now I'm wondering is someone actually going to die or were people just lying. I feel like either Adam is going to be the one to die or it's going to be Lucifer cuz they mentioned a lot in the previous episode about how Charlie needs to take up the throne and get ready to take her place on the throne like why does she need to take her place on the throne? Isn't that her dad's job??? Please don't kill Lucifer off please please please 🙏 also I'm still not on board and probably will never will be on the whole political puppet thing. Like I just know I just have a feeling in my bones that alastor's favor is going to be something like "Let me be the ruler of hell lololol" or something anyways

EPISODE 8

01:01-Why are you watching other men get fucked?🤨 (/j)

01:19 🥺 I love 🥺 I oove him so 🥺 so much 🥺🥺🥺 does he have a spatula like spongebob

02:02- wait so how is Vox watching them like does he have bug cameras in the air like those little guys in v3 (woah now I have to put a Danganronpa spoiler on this)

03:42 SOFT ALASTOR FANFICTION WRITERS QUICK WRITE THAT DOWN WRITE THAT DOWN!!!

04:18- I'm not even the biggest huskerdust shipper but awwwww also I don't ship him with anyone but I just want to see Sir Pentious happy pleaseeee also the little Melody of loser baby in the background

04:48- ugh I am clutching my heart right now Sir Pentious is my SON and I LOVE HIM

04:58- what the fuck that ao3 tag was canon this WHOLE TIME???? WHEN DID YOU GUYS HEAR ABOUT THIS?????

05:05- I told you angel dust wasn't going to die

05:38- it's like the song but different! Reprise it's called a reprise also is Mimzy gonna come back

07:15- Vox, you know that you guys are going to die if they lose too right?

Okay I can't timestamp this cuz I'll just be pausing every 2 seconds but just know that everything I'm saying after this is from 07:52 to whatever number I put after later right here->09:47

Okay, so this might be a weird comparison but you know like My Little pony Battle scenes? This feels like that in the very best way possible where they have the scenes with all the different characters fighting with the different music.

Oh my God yes Cherry bomb and angel dust I love them also that was a fire transition also I JUST NOTICED THAT SIR PENTIOUS HAT ALSO HAS THE EYE DOES HE JUST HAVE I HATS FOR EVERY OCCASION

Uh oh Adams angry he's going to do a my hero academia

Oh shit it actually worked that's not good.

I TOLD YOU I CALLED IT VOX IS HORNY

Oh my God that is such a cool shot guys someone should make that frame of Alastor their computer background

OH MY GOD WHOEVER ANIMATED THAT SCENE I LOVE YOU I'M LITERALLY GIVING YOU A METAPHORICAL KISS ON THE MOUTH IN THE PLATONIC SENSE ALASTOR LOOKED SO COOL

Guys I think Adam's going to die

😨 okay so Alastor's microphone just broke and I paused it to add that emoji but as I did the people I live with got home so I'm going to have to pause it for there? I'll update if I get prime working on my phone. Also isn't alastor's microphone alive? Maybe that's the character that died.

Update: all right I got it set up on my phone about 30 minutes later now we're resuming

09:47- okay so I think it's interesting that Alastor pretty much lost all his powers as soon as his microphone broke, my guess is probably that whoever has his soul (lilith, eve, or anyone else) gave the mic to him.

09:53- I like the detail that Alastor is still smiling even though he literally just got slammed against the wall, also Vox has the biggest hate boner for Alastor like

10:02- Alastor: "Have to disagree with you there, radio's not dead." Hun you are bleeding out I'm sorry but I don't think you can gaslight girlboss your way out of this one, also I'm sorry to tell you but the only thing they play on my local radio station now besides music is like, a show that's only on at like 7 in the morning where people call to complain about how their husband wraps Christmas presents

10:38- haha silly also EGGS!!

10:43- NO WAIT MY BRAIN DIDN'T REGISTER THAT THAT EGG WAS CRACKED THEY KILLED THE FUCKING EGG!!!!!! Angel, kill them.

11:12- no no no Sir Pentious you better not I don't want to eat paper

11:21- good for him

11:44- NO GOD DAMN IT PLEASE HAVE A REVEAL THAT ALASTOR OR LUCIFER OR SOMEONE ELSE SAVED HIM PLEASE 🙏🙏🙏 I AM BEGGING ON MY HANDS AND KNEES

12:03- okay this is really cool but is he actually dead cuz I'll legitimately be really sad if so

12:50- *that one vine* "*gasp* Adam."

13:23- KILL HIS ASS CHARLIE

14:12 yes Vaggie, queen shit

SIR PENTIOUS ARE YOU DEAD /J OR /SRS?????

14:35 I KNEW IT I KNOW HE WAS GOING TO COME BACK I MEAN I GOT KIND OF SPOILED CUZ I I SAW THE COVER OF THE EPISODE BUT WOAH 10/10 ENTRANCE

14:44- gasp! His face!

15:00- he is, so stupid. I love him.

15:51-okay I went quiet for a minute cuz there were so much happening but oh my God what do I even say this is just so cool also I don't know if this is intentional or not but the blood stain on Charlie's hair is shaped like an apple

16:34- NIFFTY RAHHHHHHH

17:08- wait okay I had a brief thought that maybe lute was actually Eve but I think I'm wrong on that

17:13- Sir Pentious would've liked pancakes :((((((

Ad Time! I don't care about hard Rock Cafe I just want to know whether or not Sir Pentious is actually dead please I'm going through all the stages of grief right now and Brandan Rogers just came on my screen as Katie killjoy please

18:04- Keke :(

Oh my God they're going to find him in the rubble right? ... Right?? Right guys right???????

18:10- fat nuggets survived that's good I see a rock that looks suspiciously shaped like Sir Pentious military hat whoa guys I wonder if that means anything and it looks like it's up like someone is standing? Whoa I wonder if they'll check behind that rock please

18:16- wait is he actually dead I'm genuinely about to cry

19:16- I am not crying about his death until the episode ends I am not crying until it is 100% CONFIRMED that he died

20:50- omg alastor's alive, he's in his Jack's skeleton era that means that maybe Sir Pentious is also-

21:08- friends :) he said friends just saying

22:04- I TOLD YOU I FUCKING TOLD YOU I TOLD YOU THAT BY DYING IT WAS JUST A CHARACTER BEING REDEEMED I TOLD YOU I'M SO SMART I'M NOT EATING PAPER HAHAHAHAHA I'M THE GREATEST MAN ALIVE HE'S NOT DEAD MY SNAKE BOY ISN'T DEAD HOW DID I GET SO ATTACHED TO HIM I DON'T KNOW BUT I LOVE HIM YES I CAN'T EXPRESS MY EMOTIONS RIGHT NOW I'M GENUINELY SO HAPPY THIS IS WHY THIS IS WHY I WAITED UNTIL THE VERY END TO CRY ABOUT HIM I KNEW HE WASN'T GOING TO BE DEAD THEY WOULDN'T KILL HIM OFF THEY WOULDN'T KILL MY SNAKE BOY OFF JUST LIKE THAT

22:34- you're telling me Lilith was just doing hot girl shit on the beach for 7 years.

[squish36-writes-and-draws]

It's Easier if I'm to Blame, Yeah, It's Easier to Numb the Pain

Word count: 2919

TW: Near-death experience

Taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed!): @stellar-lune @faggot-friday @kamikothe1and0nly @nyxpixels @florida-preposterously @poppinspop @uni-seahorse-572 @solreefs @did-i-say-you-could-get-up @rusted-phone-calls @when-wax-wings-melt @good-old-fashioned-lover-boy7 @dexter-dizzknees @abubble125 @hi-imgrapes @callum-hunt-is-bisexual @xanadaus @callas-pancake-tree @hi-my-name-is-awesome @katniss-elizabeth-chase @arson-anarchy-death @dizzeners @thefoxysnake @olivedumdum @loveution @notyourlegacygirl

On Ao3 or below the cut!

Once again, this was a thing for my creative writing class, but this one was actually supposed to be a fanfic, not just a barely-concealed fanfic like the other two. Essentially this is that one scene in Neverseen where Fitz and Dex become friends. Yes, I know it's been done before. I've done it before. This is the most hinged fanfic I could write and to be fair I wrote kotlp chapter 3 like two years ago and this is from Fitz's pov. It's completely different

    “Can I…um…talk to you for a sec?” Dex asks, his voice sharper and brighter than it has any right to be, ripping a spiraling Fitz out of his daze. 

    For Physic to admit so plainly that he just nearly died that’s—that’s terrifying. 

    Sophie might go through that on a far too regular basis, but for Fitz to get that close to his own demise makes him feel things he’s never felt before. It’s a kind of fear and a lack of control he’s never had before, even while he was watching Sophie drag herself back from the edge of fading away. 

    It’s an even deeper affront to his being than that. Elves are supposed to have an indefinite life span; they aren’t built to process the concept of their own mortality. 

    “Uh…sure,” Fitz replies slowly, glancing up to find Dex studying the floor. 

    Fitz’s Mom herds Keefe and Sophie out of the room, and Physic follows suit, her bejeweled half-mask glittering in the sterile lights as she goes. Keefe, ever insufferable, proclaims that he’s going to be eavesdropping. Fitz throws a pillow at him for his impunity. 

    It is very quickly made obvious that this was a bad decision as Fitz’s chest screams with pain. 

    The inky veins of arthropleura venom may have been drawn out of his skin, but he still has a long way to go before he’s fully healed. Physic’s scolding tells him as much. 

    The look Physic gives Keefe as she warns him to not throw it back is unexpectedly familiar, but Fitz can’t quite figure out why. At least the pillow isn’t allowed to make a return. Keefe is sure to remember this, though. Fitz will regret it one day very soon. 

    Dex waits for several seconds, head turned to the door, watching for the slightest sign that Keefe might be making good on his promise. Eventually he gives in and turns his attention back to the floor, gaze occasionally flicking up at Fitz. 

    Fitz smiles reassuringly, to no effect. 

    “I’m so sorry,” Dex whispers, voice ragged. He’s so quiet, Fitz wonders if Dex actually said anything or if his thoughts were just so loud that Fitz’s Telepathy picked up on them. 

    The next time Dex dares to look at Fitz, a tear streaks down Dex’s cheek. He quickly swipes it away.

    More than that, though, is the guilt etched into every single line, every single freckle. 

    Guilt is the most dangerous emotion an elf can have. Fitz has seen its effects. His father’s mind broke from the weight of Prentice’s conviction. 

    The ironic part is that Prentice’s sentence was to spend the rest of his indefinite lifespan with his mind broken for assisting the Black Swan and, now, Fitz, Biana, and their Mom have joined that exact same organization.  

    And, yes, Sophie was able to heal his Dad, but what if she couldn’t this time? What if Dex shattered and Fitz was the reason why? 

    I’ve already had to go through losing someone because of Prentice’s exile. I can’t let it happen again. 

    “Dex, listen to me.” Fitz waits until Dex’s eye contact lasts for a whole second. “I don’t blame you. I don’t blame you in the slightest—”

    “It was my gadget! It’s why you’re like—like this!” Dex’s voice cracks as he gestures to the bed Fitz is going to be trapped in for the next week. 

    Fitz’s hackles rise, meeting Dex’s anger head on. Anger is a safe emotion, at least until he starts saying things he’s going to regret. But he doesn’t care if he regrets what he’s saying so long as Dex understands. 

    “Correct me if I’m wrong, but last I checked, you aren’t a Charger. So unless you’ve suddenly manifested another ability and then didn’t spend a week proclaiming it to anyone who would listen, that was not your fault.”

    Dex’s voice takes on a dark edge. “Zarina wouldn’t have been able to do this.” 

    Memories of Councillor Zarina, lightning crackling in her palms and the faint whiff of ozone it caused as the air electrified, rush through Fitz’s mind. “She would’ve happily electrocuted any one of us if she thought it was the right thing to do.”

    “Since when has the Council acted upon ‘the right thing?’” 

    Fitz’s mouth opens to argue that the Council isn’t malicious, just overly cautious with a tendency to cover up every possible controversy, no matter how small, but he thinks better of it. The memories of Sophie’s Ability Restriction surface, too fresh in both of their minds to ignore. 

    Dex probably blames himself for that, too. But that isn’t his fault, either. He set out to build an Ability Enhancer. It was the Council that twisted it into what it became. He was just following orders to not get his family banished. 

    “Since when have you not blamed them for every inconvenience you’ve ever experienced?” Fitz smiles amusedly, a recent event coming to the forefront of his mind. “I think one day I heard you probably working on your gadgets around five in the morning cursing them out. I don’t think they gave you that paper cut.” 

    “Okay, most importantly, why were you awake that early? And how could you hear me? We are quite literally in separate treehouses. And, also, it was a splinter, not a paper cut, thank you very much.”

    Dex’s petulant smile doesn’t quite reach his dimples. 

    “I’m surprised Biana hasn’t told you about the horror stories of living with me. I’m apparently what’s called a ‘morning person’ and I should be placed in the Sanctuary to prevent the extinction of my species because it’s critically endangered.” 

    Dex’s smile widens, becoming more sincere. He looks like he almost wants to laugh, but his lips stay pressed together. That’s when Fitz makes it his personal mission to make Dex laugh before he’s allowed to leave this room, even if humor as a coping mechanism is Keefe’s specialty. 

    Fitz’s grand plans are suddenly impeded by a coughing fit, every muscle in his chest protesting with every single movement. A metallic taste tinges the back of his tongue and the skin of his chest feels impossibly tight. Between coughs, he can see the guilt flashing across Dex’s face, and it makes his chest ache in more ways than one. 

    Fitz doesn’t even get the chance to catch his breath before Dex begins a rambling apology. “I’m sorry I did this to you, and I’m sorry about the Ability Restrictor, and I know it wasn’t used on you but I’m still sorry about how it turned out, and I’m sorry for that day you came to the store and I acted like a buffoon, and I’m sorry for—”

    Fitz interrupts him before he can work himself into even more of a mess. “How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t blame you for what happened with the arthropleura?”

    “But you should.” 

    “There was absolutely no malicious intent behind anything that went down. You need to stop blaming yourself.”

    Dex shakes his head. “Intent doesn’t absolve me of responsibility.”

    “Fine, then. Why don’t you blame the Council? You can do that. It’s very easy to get pissed at Councillor Zarina for short circuiting your gadget. It’s even easier to blame Councillor Clarette for calling the arthropleura there in the first place. Who’s to say no one would’ve gotten hurt if your mini smoke machine gadget thing hadn’t decided to be extra explosive?”

    Dex looks…thoroughly unconvinced. 

    “Or, if you want to think about it this way, I share responsibility too. If I hadn’t thrown your gadget down the hallway, things could’ve gone very differently. Worse differently, but still differently. You can blame me for everything, you’ve done it before.”

    Dex has returned to studying the floor, the uneven lines of light gray grout separating the slightly darker gray tiles. It’s the only room Fitz has seen in the entirety of Alluveterre that doesn’t feel like it’s a treehouse. It’s empty, cold, and smells faintly of hand sanitizer. “I used to hate you, you know,” he whispers. 

    His inflection on the word ‘hate’ seems to imply that those feelings might not entirely be in the past, but they certainly aren’t what they used to be. He wouldn’t be getting this worked up if someone else—like Stina—was the one impaled by the antennae of an oversized millipede. 

    “Yeah, I do,” Fitz replies simply, not breaking eye contact. 

    “And that doesn’t bother you?”

    “I mean, I don’t entirely understand what I did to merit that kind of response, but, like, you’ve been more than willing to tolerate me in recent months. Why should I let that bother me? The past is in the past and it’s not like it’s going to reemerge.” 

    Dex turns away from Fitz, now studying the window that looks out onto the treehouses that make up Alluveterre. 

    Fitz can’t really see outside that well with the whole staying-horizontal thing, but Alluveterre itself has taken on a new atmosphere after going to Exile. 

    It should feel more open, but they’re both just as underground, just as claustrophobic. 

    The feeling of being trapped in that place, struggling for every breath as the venom coursed through his veins, is going to haunt him for a long time.

    Maybe that’s the real Vacker legacy…nearly dying in the middle of Exile going to visit Prentice. 

    The surrounding circumstances around the visit couldn’t be much more different. His Dad went down there with Sophie to break Fintan’s mind. He went there to break Prentice out. 

    So much has changed in so few months, there’s no saying where it might go here. All Fitz knows is that Dex is an incredibly skilled Technopath and that he would rather have Dex on his side than against him.

    Dex has the capacity to be scary when he wants to be, but he can also be incredibly stuck in his own head, like right now, as he continues to stare out the window. 

    “What if the past does reemerge?” he whispers. 

    Fitz looks at him, but he doesn’t turn to make eye contact. “Nothing is going to be a linear process. If you end up deciding that your initial opinion of me was correct, I might get a little mad. That’s just how I react to things sometimes. And I also have an intense desire to be liked by everyone—holy Exile, what was in those painkillers?”

    Dex’s response is almost automatic. “It was actually the Oremideae leaves. I think your Great-times-a-gadjillion-uncle-cousin-whatever discovered them. They’re really good at preventing infection, but they also inhibit a little bit of the blood-brain barrier, both physiologically and psychologically. I didn’t realize they’d kick in this quickly…but, I mean, they were crushed...which would increase absorption rate. I can go if this is weird for you.”

    Fitz can barely focus on the details of what Dex is saying. He goes off on alchemy-adjacent tangents quite often during the limited instances they’ve interacted and as much as Fitz wants to learn new things, there’s something so inherently distracting about Dex. 

    “You don’t have to go. Just don’t get mad if and when I say something stupid.”

    “I’m sure you won’t say anything stupid.” Dex’s attention lands on Fitz once again, and he takes a few steps toward Fitz’s bed-prison. 

    “You never know. I am very untrustworthy in that regard.”

    Dex is only a large step away from the foot of Fitz’s bed. He sighs. “I really am sorry for everything and a half.”

    “I thought you were supposed to be good at maths. Infinity plus half an infinity is still infinity. It won’t change. There’s no reason to operate on an infinitely large quantity.”

    Dex’s tone is flat as he says, “It was hyperbole.”

    “Oh.” That would make a touch more sense. I’ll just blame it on my brain not functioning, that’s completely plausible. 

    Dex lowers himself onto the farthest corner of Fitz’s bed. It’s way larger than the ones that Elwin has in the Healing Center at Foxfire, it’s still really close compared to Dex’s normal trend of staying as far away from Fitz as physically possible. 

    But it’s not a level of closeness that’s anything significant in any other case. 

    Dex’s words are low, almost to the point where Fitz thinks his filter has slipped to the point of accidentally reading Dex’s thoughts, but it doesn’t have that familiar echoey quality and Dex is avoiding eye contact once again. 

    “I just want you to know—really know—I’m so sorry about what happened to you. I’d like to promise that it’ll never happen again, but that’s just not something I can guarantee with any level of certainty. That terrifies me to no end, but I guess it just comes with being a Technopath. Hurting everyone around me is just…inevitable.” 

    “Maybe,” Fitz concedes, “but you’ve also saved us so many times with your Panic Switches and even those first two gadgets today that didn’t malfunction. I don’t remember if you heard about me when my Dad’s mind was broken, but, well, I was a bit of an absolute mess and I lashed out at Sophie. Maybe hurting everyone around me is just an inevitable part of my personality.” 

    They sit in silence together for a long moment. 

    Fitz breaks the silence first. “I guess that means that we should be friends. Mutually assured destruction and all that.”

    “Even despite the fact that I used to hate you?” 

    “Yeah. A little animosity will keep things interesting. It’s an integral part of why I’ve tolerated Keefe for so long.”  

     Dex’s laugh isn’t as light as it used to be, back when they didn’t know each other. They’ve both been through so much, and there’s still so much unknown ahead of them in the future. 

    “‘Interesting’ is certainly an interesting word choice. But I guess I’ll try. That’s the biggest commitment I can make. Don’t be mad when I start acting like a blockhead again.” 

    Fitz smiles, struggling to keep his chest muscles from throwing another fit, this time induced by laughter. 

     Dex has been subjected to the worst of the prejudice it can offer, he’s still here fighting for change. He can be bitter at times, but it’s well deserved. Justified, even. Acting like a blockhead would be the least of Fitz’s concerns if he was in Dex’s situation. 

    The idea that the worst Dex could do is act like a blockhead is just so far outside of what he should be allowed, it’s almost comical. 

    Or maybe it’s those Oremideae leaves. 

    Fitz is enveloped by a strong urge to give Dex a hug, but he can’t tell whether it’s from pity, admiration, the realization that he’s truly broken through Dex’s shell for the first time, or something else he can’t quite describe. 

    And that’s the same time that the playful grin drops from Dex’s face. 

    “I should probably leave you to rest and heal. Let me know if there’s anything I can do or get you or—”

    “Actually, I do have one small request, if you don’t mind.” 

    Fitz immediately regrets saying that, but there’s nothing he owns that’s more important to the healing process. 

    “I don’t mind at all. What can I get you?” Dex’s face is lit up, even if he doesn’t want to show it, with the rush of being helpful. It’s the one thing Fitz remembers from that day at the store—Dex’s absolute delight when he knows where something is. 

   “Under my bed, there’s a stuffed dragon. He should be pretty obvious. Please try to keep him away from discovery by others.”

    “By ‘others’ do you mean Biana or Keefe?” Dex asks as he stands, leaving behind an empty, warm corner of the bed. 

    “Yes,” Fitz answers, realizing he’s been smiling like a complete and total doofus long enough to make his face muscles hurt. 

    Dex is gone for a long minute before he returns, brandishing a ruby red dragon, its eyes and sparkles twinkling in the fluorescent lighting as its wings slowly flap from the movement. 

    Elwin may have given Mr. Snuggles to Fitz when Fitz’s Dad’s mind shattered, but it’s hard to remember a time before it was in his life. 

    Fitz hadn’t noticed the emptiness settling into his chest after Dex left, but now that he’s back, Fitz is filled with the kind of longing that doesn’t want him to leave again. 

    “Thank you,” Fitz mumbles as he squeezes Mr. Snuggles so hard it takes a few seconds to return to its original shape. 

    Dex smiles. “Like I said, let me know if you need anything.”

    “Likewise,” Fitz replies. “Although my capabilities might be a touch more limited at the moment.”

    Well, that’s an understatement of the century. 

    Dex leaves without further comment, and Fitz settles himself down into his pillows, clutching Mr. Snuggles close to his chest, the familiar soft fabric a comfort to his otherwise aching muscles. 

    He’s almost drifted off into sleep when Keefe saunters into his room, apparently brought in by the power vacuum left in Dex’s absence. 

    And then his gaze lands on Mr. Snuggles sticking out from under the covers. The unrestrained joy as he wrestles Mr. Snuggles from Fitz’s dazed grasp is refreshing to see after knowing there’s been so many weeks that Keefe has been in such a dismal state. 

    Less refreshing is him parading Mr. Snuggles around and yelling through the entirety of the tree houses of Alluveterre. “You guys have to see this!”

    Unmapped stars, have mercy on me.

[shuttershocky]

how many mahoyo/fgo characters are subject to "R.I.P. to that guy, but I'm different" without actually being different?

This is a whole trend / running gag with Type-Moon so we'll actually be here all day if I try, but my favorite one is "this idiot thinks he can cheat death with no consequences, unlike the last guy that tried"

For Fate/Stay Night you have Zouken, who is secretly the Makiri patriarch, Zolgen, from centuries ago. despite successfully extending his lifespan by hundreds of years, he has grown old and decrepit, surviving as a sort of insect lich and needing his bugs to survive.

For Tsukihime we have Roa, a vampire that successfully discovered how to hijack life after death to get his soul to parasitize someone else's instead of returning to the Root upon death, consuming the soul of his host from within and taking over the body for his own. However, despite originally being one of the most powerful Dead Apostles in the world, a bit of his power is lost with every new incarnation, eventually forcing him to target bodies with natural talent / power to make up for him losing his own. This leads to him making enemies of people who can fight back.

For Fate/Apocrypha we have Darnic, the leader of the Yggdmillennia family and a Nazi collaborator during World War 2. He stole the holy Grail from Fuyuki by using the Nazis and, in an attempt to extend his lifespan, found a way to stop aging. This isn't shown in the anime, but this method actually involves him using the souls of the newborn to stay young. This guy eats babies. While he doesn't get his comeuppance as a result of the baby eating, he still dies permanently and brutally to Amakusa.

The Tsukihime Remake even added a new character to keep this trend going. Mario is a small, child-looking agent of the Church, who claims to be the son of Cardinal Laurentis and is seeking out Roa for his notes on immortality. However, it's implied that Mario is quite possibly the Cardinal himself, who tried replicating Roa's research and instead began aging backwards. Now he's doomed to have to hunt down Roa and stop the process before he turns into a baby.

And then there's Touko, who cheated death by constructing exact replicas of herself which are so indistinguishable from the original that they inherit the memories and will of the last Touko that died and which somehow grow organs as well as become flesh and blood, despite originally being puppets. There is seemingly no downsides at all to this method apart from Touko needing to go through the hassle of constructing another body for herself every time she reactivates one. It's /supposed/ to cause some kind of existential crisis as Touko should be questioning if it's really her in the body or just a well-crafted machine that believes it is Touko, but apparently this does not bother her in the slightest.

[awwsd]

Death Fanart part 2: The show!!!

A sequel to this post. Again, she doesn’t suffer from ‘type one’ as much. But there are. Some. So anyway heres some fanart !!!!!

This drawing by illustra.bruno, every single time someone draws show!death in the comic style I giggle and kick my feet and 19 years get added to my lifespan.

2. This lovely piece by @ square cloud, the colors r so soft and I love how the art makes reference to both the show and comics, while still maintaining a unique style!!!

3. Muzenik_’s style makes her look so ethereal n unique while still looking like her actress a lil!!!

4. They are sillies and now I crave a Cartoon Network spin-off where the endless work in an office or smth

5. This is everything to me actually and I’ll never be normal again! Give death a jacket 2023

6. Her hair!!!! Her smile!!! The flowers!!! I’m!!! Gah!!!!!

7. Love this one, which again is reminiscent of the comic’s art style and y’all already know I go insane over drawings w texture.

8. I want this in my room and as a sticker on my water bottle and the first thing I see when I wake up.

9. @ romyjonesdraws, I have never considered the gold ankh but now I can’t stop Considering it.

10. And of course my all time favorite by @ missbliss1294. Genuinely don’t think anything will be able to top it everything about it is perfect and I’d like to inject it into my bloodstream.

I have absolutely zero ability to be normal about death and my brain will explode when season 2 comes out 😊👍

[captain-astors]

🥺 thankyew... (replying to the tags of your reblog)

Then back at u, what are some AU/aesthetic that u think HouTata will fit in?

Oh joyous! Apologies that this took a moment to get to, I was brainstorming

Obligational dungeon meshi AU, I think I could see Houji as a designated noble Canary (one of these elves without the ear-notches, like the girl on the far right, if you don't know their job is just clearing out/inspecting dungeons when they reach a point of danger.)

Houji's division has had a lot of ingrained bias in the form of constant criticism about the "susceptibility of short-lived races to demons"

However some number of years back, Houji was assigned to clear out to clear out and kill a tallman dungeon master (Yan) who, no doubt was completely off the rails and in a state of mind that could not be reasoned with, summoning horrific monsters at every turn, but nevertheless Houji couldn't ignore how his motives and descent made perfect sense, they weren't completely different creatures at all.

So years later, when Houji is assigned to another dungeon and realizes this is the younger brother of that same tallman, recognizing from the copies of friends and family that Yan kept within his dungeon, even as Tatara slaughters his friends, Houji can't help but desperately try to save him from the madness of the dungeon.

But he's still ready to kill him if the world needs it.

Also I think the two criminal canaries with their notched ears under Houji's command should be Mutsuki and Takizawa

(Fun fact, I considered sketching this but the concept of twink Houji shaved two years off my lifespan, maybe he's a half-elf who got a lot of those tallman genes for his build or something)

Additionally I think it would be funny to put them in twst, not as students but as teachers. Houji teaches history or something at their rival school Royal Sword Academy and Tatara teaches the same subject at Night Raven College. They despise eachother but both of their students have already picked up on the tension and are betting on when the day will come where one of their arguments at the school competitions will turn into making out. Little do they know, it already has occasionally, just not publicly yet.

Aesthetic-wise, Film noir detective flick anyone? Bitter rivals where one of them was the culprit the whole time and the other knows that but is just trying to prove it? That sounds kind of like Death Note premise-wise actually... oh well, that does work.

Canon-based AU but Juuzou is added to both of their legions of "children", but simultaneously. He got assigned to Houji's division and thought it would be funny to go undercover as a ghoul because he knows how to smell and behave like one that just doesn't like to use his Kagune, and instead uses a quinque like Tomoe. Both of them grow fond of him simultaneously which becomes very awkward when all three get into a fight. Shinohara would have a heart attack if he knew his son had gained two more dads and they all sort of want to kill eachother. Do you see my vision. AU where Tatara is a dragon and Houji is a knight do whatever you want with that.

[anjuschiffer]

Do We Dare to Dream?

*looks at WIPs and notices this old work* *posts it so that it could actually see the light of day*

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Tags: @toodaloo-kangaroo @elijahcrevan @vixen-uchiha

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MASTERLIST | AO3

Chapter 1:

“I’ve already taught her everything she needs to know about the Miraculi.” Jason snapped his attention from his books to Ra’s guest’s voice. When did they get here? “But combat…I could only think of you to train her…Brother.“ This was where Jason finally raised his head to look at the guests for the first time since he heard they had arrived. 

Or at least, one of them. 

The shorter of the two men had to be his mentor’s guest, if judging by the blue monk-like attire he had on under his red shawl.

Ever since Ra’s announced some important guests coming to visit a week ago, the entire place was made to make the place presentable and more…comfortable. 

More fauna was added around the place, more shrubbery and small nooks of rest scattered the place. Although Jason wasn’t fond of the new flowers added to the barracks, he found out he quite enjoyed the little spot he found near his room. 

A nice zen place with just a few shrubs and a boulder whose view was that of the ocean. 

As for the odd choice of decor, Jason found himself hating the choice of reds and gold accenting the League’s monochrome scheme.  Not to mention the motif of the zodiac constantly present at the banquet hall and every hall he walked.  

Aside from that, much didn’t change in Jason’s routine, though he didn’t fail to notice the way Ra’s began to act. 

He was stricter with the League members, gave Talia more work to do, nitpicked at every little thing - it was starting to get on Jason’s nerves. 

Maybe it was because Ra’s was constantly reminding him to be practically invisible once the guests came. Or rather, to never talk to their guests unless asked. 

That everything had to be perfect.

So when the guests appeared at the library while Jason was there during his free time, he knew better than to greet Ra’s or to even go near him and his guests. 

He had decided to retreat further into the library, deciding to go to the upper level and read a bit more of the Art of War. 

But he didn’t expect to hear that of all things. 

“If that was all you wanted from me, you could’ve easily-“

“I don’t have much time left.” The shorter man interjected. “You, of all people, should know that the Miraculi only extends your lifespan by a few hundreds of years, not grant immortality…” The shorter man looked at Ra’s with a somber look on his face. “Brother…I only have a few years to live and I can’t just leave my successor on her own.” 

“Fu. You know, you can easily-“ Fu shook his head. 

“I know better than to mess with your creations, even as ambitious and beneficial you claim them to be. After all, nothing good could ever come out of something born out of raw chaos. There’s a reason why the elders never chose you to-“

“There’s a reason they are now dead, Brother.” Ra’s seethed. “They never wanted to use the Miraculi to their full extent. To their true potential. I simply-“

“It’s bad to talk ill about the dead.” Fu interjected. “Especially in front of a child.” Ra’s huffed, knowing that his brother was referring to their earlier conversation in front of his successor. 

“Child? Your successor is about the same age as my latest student. And he’s already seen more death than life in his 15 years of living. 

In other words, they’re both old enough to comprehend the reality of life. Of changing to survive and if not, die in the process of protecting old and useless ideologies.” Ra’s argued, causing Fu to sigh. “Or tell me, am I wrong, brother of mine? Or is wanting me to teach your successor not your true motive for this announced visit?”

Despite the various centuries that have passed, it seemed like his brother never changed. 

“You are correct as always, Ra’s. Change is the only way we can survive these chaotic times.” Fu responded. 

“Glad to see we are on the same page.” Jason watched as Ra’s let out a huff. “I know you’re there, Jason. Come now. It’s rude to keep a guest waiting.”

Without another word, Jason jumped off the ledge, landing next to Ra’s with a soft thud. “Fu, this is the student I was talking about. Jason, met our guest, Wang Fu.”

While Jason wanted to ask whether or not they truly were siblings, he simply bowed, watching as Fu frowned upon seeing him. 

“He oozes of the Lazarus’ water.” Fu furrowed his brows and looked at Ra’s with narrowed eyes. “What have you done to the boy?”

“Saved him.” Ra’s simply answered, deciding to walk ahead. “Now, let’s go see how your protege is doing, shall we?”

—

Jason didn’t quite remember what exactly happened, as in, how the conversation went from talking about education to Jason having to spar with Fu’s student, but it happened. So here he was, starting to get out of breath as he looked at his opponent beneath him.

“Seems like I got my hopes up too high.” Jason found himself saying as he knocked down the girl in front of him for the umpteenth time as she attempted to get back up. “Is this really the best you’ve got?” 

After hearing Fu’s praises about his student being a quick learner and already mastering some Guardian martial arts, Ra’s found it appropriate to put said teachings to the test.

“That is enough!” Fu’s voice roared within the training hall’s walls, Jason smirking as he left the bruised girl on the floor, her lip busted from their sparring, dried blood caking her lip. The bruises on her cheekbone and jaw were finally starting to bloom. “How was this a friendly-“

“Friendly doesn’t necessarily mean soft, dear brother. Or did you forget the torture they used to put us through as children?” Ra’s reminded.

Jason didn’t know what Ra’s meant by that, reveling in the praise he gave him, a small pat on his back. 

“Is this-“ Fu took a deep breath, “-is this the type of training you’re going to place-“

“Of course.” Ra’s said, Jason standing by his side, a smile replacing his grin. “If you’re saying your protege is as intelligent as you say she is, then that means she should be able to catch up with the rest of my students. Wouldn’t you agree?”

Fu remained silent, rushing to his student’s side, inspecting her bruises. “Furthermore, she can’t continue to be coddled if you want her to grow as a Guardian. You should already know the consequences of-”

“You think I don’t know that already? Don’t you think that’s the very reason why I came here in the first place? To prevent her from suffering the same fate we did when we were younger?”

The two men stared at each other, the tension thick and starting to become suffocating.

“Master…Fu.” The girl managed to slur out.

“Save your energy Marinette,” Master Fu hushed, looking at Ra’s. “Where is your nearest medical bay?”

-

“I see you’re finally awake.” Marinette blinked a few times before realizing where she was.

Oh right. She wasn’t in their little shop in China. They were at her mentor’s supposed brother’s…establishment? Organization? Clan?

She could remember the tour of the place and then separating from Master Fu to have some lunch before having to fight Ra’s latest pupil…who she lost to…

“How long was I out?” She asked, fighting off the aching throbbing around her body, not failing to notice the remains of magic lingering behind. 

Was she injured so badly that Fu had to heal them using the Ladybug? 

“Only a couple of hours.” Fu managed to answer, Marinette humming in response. “Marinette.” She turned to look at him. “I’m leaving you here, to stay with my brother.” Master Fu calmly said.

“Wh-what?” Marinette quietly asked, processing the words that just came out of her master’s mouth. Maybe it was because she had recently woken up, or perhaps her body was starting to finally feel the consequences of the spar from earlier despite the magical assistance. “Like, just for today?”

“As in you will be staying here by yourself until-”

“Why?” Marinette cut off, wincing as a pang of pain shot up her arm as she used it to sit up.

“I know, it’s a bit to process, but here, here you will get the opportunity to grow. To widen your view of combat and defense from people who have years of experience in the field.”

“But why should I stay just for that? If anything, we can always come here together during the week. The walk here isn’t bad- it’s just a few hours from-”

“Marinette. Travel isn’t the problem. Nor is the place. It is time.”

“But Master Fu, if it's time, then we can simply use the Horse to get here-”

“Marinette. I can no longer be with you as you continue to-”

“No.”

“Marinette. I can’t be a hurdle in your-”

“No.”

“Marinette,” Fu softly said, Marinette feeling her eyes begin to sting. “I have to go. It’s for your own good and the good of-”

“Master Fu, please! Please don’t leave me here!” Marinette begged, grabbing hold of her teacher’s shawl, tears brimming her eyes.

“Marinette,” Jason heard Fu softly say, the guilt in his chest becoming heavier.

He shouldn’t have come, but…he had. 

Ever since Ra’s told him to go back to his room, Jason was left with nothing but the mixed emotions of his spar with Marinette.

While a part of him was soaring over being complimented by his mentor, guilt began to gnaw at him upon seeing how Fu worried over his student. 

How it reminded him of someone he once knew. How that person reacted the same way whenever he got hurt. Someone who he couldn’t quite remember how he looked nor how he sounded, but Jason just knew was a kind person. 

A person who he was taken away from…

With no other option left, but to check on the girl, Jason had made his way to try and apologize to the girl, but found himself walking into…whatever this was…

He knew better than to actually go inside the medical bay, so he stood by the entrance.

“Please Master Fu, you can’t leave me here! You can’t! There’s still things you have to teach me!”

“Marinette,” Jason heard him take a deep breath. “There’s nothing left for me to teach you.”

“No,” she quietly said, “no, there has to be- there has to be something left. Something, anything!”

“Marinette, you’ve already learned everything there is to the grimoire, about the Miraculi themselves, about the Guardian language, martial arts…I have nothing left-”

“No!” Marinette yelled, feeling her throat starting to close up. “No!”

“I’m sorry.” Fu said, attempting to get up from his seat beside her cot.

“Don’t say that Master Fu!” She pleaded, gripping onto him for dear life. “Please, dont-”

“Sisylarap.” Marinette felt as her body went numb, her hand slipping from Fu’s shawl as he stepped away from her, watching as he glanced at her with unclouded eyes, his already small back turning smaller and the lump in her throat growing larger. “Take care, qiān jīn (thousand gold, darling daughter).”

That was what finally set her loose.

“Yé yé (Grandfather)!” She screamed. “Yé yé! Don’t go! Yé yé!”

Jason bit down hard on his tongue to try and stop the tears threatening to fall, to prevent himself from letting out the scream whirling in his chest as he continued to hear Marinette scream after her teacher, after the person whom she saw as a grandfather, hell, maybe even a father.

“Jason.” Wang Fu spoke up, causing Jason to jump, Fu giving him a small smile upon seeing the unshed tears in his eyes. “Please, take care of Marinette.”

Jason couldn’t say a word in response as Fu placed a carefully wrapped red box in his hands, looking at Jason with tears trailing down his face. “Promise me you will look after her, okay?”

“How do you I would-”

“While I know you grew up in this place, there’s still something in your heart that still makes you more human than them.” Fu told him as he pointed a finger at Jason’s chest, more specifically his heart. “Make sure they never take that away from you.”

With that, Jason watched as the old man bowed and left, never to be seen again.

He looked down at the box, a box no bigger than the palm of his hand with a tag that read 

For my beloved pupil, congratulations on finishing your training.

I’ll always cherish the time we spent together, qiān jīn.

NEXT

[inanimatefan1]

Did not go as planned (Collage roommate Sneaker TF Story) PART 5 (near end)

When Alex wakes up in the wee hours of the morning for his newspaper delivery job, the first thing he notices is me, sitting by the door, looking almost new. For a moment, he's puzzled, then he realizes what's happened. His mother must have stayed up late, painstakingly restoring me for her son's comfort and use. As he slips his feet into me, he feels the difference immediately—the new soles provide a cushion he hasn't felt in months, and there are no more holes or frayed edges. It's as if his mother's love has seeped into the very fabric and rubber of my being. Her late-night labor, replacing the soles and mending every hole, has imbued me with a renewed sense of comfort and durability. A feeling of gratitude washes over Alex, not just for the restored sneakers but for the love and care that went into fixing them. He knows that his mother already has more than enough on her plate and yet she found the time to extend the life of something so essential to him.

As he heads out into the chilly morning air to start his delivery route, I feel prouder than ever to be his support, carrying him through the quiet streets as he completes his rounds. The new soles and repaired fabric make each step feel lighter, and I can sense that Alex is aware of this newfound comfort. Even though his life is filled with hardship and responsibilities far beyond his years, in this moment, there's a simple joy in the act of walking, of feeling the ground beneath him through soles that no longer threaten to wear through. It's a small improvement in the grand scheme of things, but sometimes small things make all the difference. As Alex goes about his day, shifting from his delivery job to school, and then to his work at the grocery store, the repairs hold up excellently. He moves with a little less fatigue, a bit more pep in his step, and I can sense a subtle lift in his spirits. It's as if the act of restoring me has not just extended my lifespan but has also added a bit of lightness to the weighty responsibilities Alex carries each day.

As the weeks and months pass, the distinct scent of Alex's feet begins to settle into me, just as it did with Tyler before. Despite the daily challenges and demanding schedule Alex faces, I find a unique sort of comfort and joy in becoming so closely attuned to him. The scent becomes more than just an aroma; it becomes a hallmark of my existence as Alex's one and only pair of sneakers. It's different from Tyler's scent, but equally captivating. And just like before, I find myself growing increasingly fond of it. There's something about Alex—the weight of his responsibilities, his resilience, his kindness—that makes this new "fragrance" feel incredibly special. It's as though each day, through each worn sock and long shift, Alex leaves a part of himself in me. I feel a sense of belonging that goes beyond being merely functional footwear. I am a witness to Alex's struggles and triumphs, however small they may be. And it fills me with an overwhelming sense of pride and affection for my new owner. Alex's scent becomes a constant companion, a source of familiarity and comfort, grounding me in the tangible realities of his life. And with each passing day, I grow more attached, more rooted in the world that he inhabits. Though I have no way of knowing how long this chapter of my life will last, the hope that it might be a long one fills me with immense joy. For now, ensconced in the scent that I've come to adore, providing support for the feet that tread upon me, I know I'm exactly where I want to be—sharing each challenging but fulfilling step with Alex. And it feels like the greatest honor.

Part 5 of 7

[spartanexperience]

ANYWAY HERES WONDERWALL aka assorted Borethyia headcanons

- Orithyia's a hyperfocusing nerd. Once they get a heureka moment, she'll spend the whole night in their lab calculating alchemistical formulas, adding one magic substance after another to the potion brew. Sometimes, during thunderstorms, she'll climb up to the top of the mountain to hold up a metal pole, to gather energy from Zeus' lightning. How they're still alive is a miracle.

- She's like Basil of Baker Street in the sense that when failure happens, Orithyia gets absolutely depresso espresso and slumps down to their chair like "existence is a lie". Pride is their hubris, lord help them

- Boreas once came back from a 2-day trip of spreading snowstorms in Anatolia, and saw Orithyia STILL awake, furiously jotting down research notes despite having pulled 2 allnighters in a row. Needless to say he basically carried her on his shoulder like a bean bag to the bed like "YOU'RE GOING TO SLEEP N O W!!!!!" while Orithyia was squirming and screeching like a wet cat LMAO

- (He is already anxious that his beloved is a mortal who is probably kicking the bucket in 50 or less years. He doesnt want Orithyia to drop their lifespan down even more with reckless health choices)

- Boreas is a proud sapiosexual and wants to get railed silly every time he hears Orithyia call his windstorms a "thermodynamical atmospheric occurrence" (He's a bottom in my hcs. I saw his one episode of screentime in Spartan Experience and made the logical conclusion "yeah only a bottom talks like that" LMFAO)

- He is the Ancient Greek equivalent of a film/literature snob who consumes religiously Amphitheatre plays and poetry, and will rant to Orithyia for hours about how that one Oedipus adaptation in Corinth's theatre missed entirely the point of the tragedy, and that the manga was better. Orithyia's ears are only hearing VHS record buzz, but she's lovestruck every time to hear Boreas ramble about the stuff he is passionate about

- The two of them bicker like an old married couple. VERY OFTEN. Orethyia gets ticked by Boreas' pompous arrogance and Boreas gets ticked by Orethyia's sassy attitude. Tho deep down they both love the banter LMAO

- Boreas is a rather cold creature to hold - of course, being the god of winter and cold wind. However he's very soft and squishy, and Orithyia LOVES giving caresses to his chin, neck, etc. (sometimes by surprise, just to catch him off guard lmao) because his touchstarved ass melts entirely, and he enjoys resting his head in his nerdy human datemate's lap. When she starts playing with his whooshy hair, he combusts. He's a snobby prideful bitchass but that facade disappears entirely around Orithyia.

- Orithyia knows it and WILL tease him to hell and back about it. "Would you look at that... The ruthless north wind, helpless in a mere human's hands.... 😏😏😏💕💕💕" Boreas growls and mutters something about "Shut upppp...." but enjoys it. WAAAAY too much

- If she REALLY wants to go out on their way and rizz Boreas up, they start quoting poetry and plays that she memorized. Whispering it straight to Boreas' ear. "Pyramos, Pyramos, wherefore art thou??" Boreas lets out a whimper and blushes madly, closing his eyes in bliss. “Alas, the Love that falleth like a flood, / Strong-winged and transitory: / Why praise ye him? What beareth he of good / To man, or glory?” Boreas deflates like a balloon, is soft putty in her arms and probs wants to be fucked RIGHT NOW

- However he's aware that his touch is cold, and Orithyia can't possibly feel very comfortable while holding him. It makes him feel guilty - everything in his cloudy villa is freezing cold, and while he is VERY proud about his title as the cold, cruel North Wind, sometimes he wishes he could be like Hades or Apollo who radiate fire and warmth.

- One more reason why Orithyia wants to become immortal!! She wants to be able to fully cuddle up in Boreas' arms, without having to take a break every now and then to warm themselves up. (According to mythology, Orithyia later becomes the goddess of snow and mountain winds, but I don't wanna go to that route too easily in my Borethyia content. Plus I think Zeus doesn't hand out the God cards to mortals without a good enough reason LMAO so Orithyia def wants to first pursue with hard work all the ways they could be with Boreas eternally - either by reaching immortality or by becoming a hero and going to Elysium.)

- Insecurity is THE word when it comes to Boreas - he hides it behind his arrogant selfcentered attitude, but deep down he wonders often if Orithyia only likes him because they have not met anyone better yet. When she and Boreas met, Orithyia was the miserable, lonely housewife of the Athens politician, and they were only able to practice science in secrecy because their husband thought that a wife's place is at home. She fell in love with Boreas, the fascinating north wind that would swoop over Athens during winter to send windstorms - perfect for her secret meteorological research. But over time, Orithyia also came to love his snooty but adorably passionate and secretly soft, caring personality. However, what if they met other gods who were waaay nicer and easier persons to deal with?? Or gods forbid, an actual fellow human??

- He sometimes berates himself: WHY did he have to descend to Athens on that fateful day, when he spotted Orithyia reading about metrorology on their own balcony? If he had never gone to Athens, this would have never happened...and then, he feels another wave of guilt and self beration. What else was Boreas supposed to do, than save her away to the mountains? If he had never met her, they would still be with that cruel wretch of a husband!! He could never let that happen to his lovely Orithyia, who had so many dreams to pursue as a scientist.

- The best thing he could do, is to help her pursue the life of her dreams. Boreas actively tries to look for more scrolls, science equipment etc. that he can bring to Orithyia, during his travels around the Hellenic world. No matter if he will be soon left alone again once Orithyia dies inevitably, he wants her to at least have the best possible mortal life. Their happiness matters the most - to see that bright bucktoothed smile on her face.

- Orithyia, being the smart nerd that they are, notices what Boreas is doing and gods...their heart is so soft, grateful tears are in their eyes. They pull Boreas to deep passionate kisses, not caring how cold his lips feel against hers.

- Boreas is not the TOXIC kind of jealous boyfriend, but he can get possessive out of fear of abandonment, and glare at other gods who shoot looks at Orithyia. When he hears that Orithyia is gonna go and hang out with his other wind siblings to ask them about their powers, Boreas straight up starts manifesting a cranky hailstorm around him, and shoots menacing death glares at (a very confused) Zephyrus the whole time. Since he knows Zephyrus is a kind, gentle wind who's had many mortal and god partners, and is way more popular at Olympus. Orithyia notices, and snaps at Boreas about it, to stop being mean to his own little brother. Cue the two of them having an old fashioned couple fight, while Notus and Eurus watch with popcorn and play bets on who wins the argument SDJFJSKKS

- At least they can both agree that Sparta sucks

- (In my hcs, Boreas' father Astraeus aka Eos' first husband, was very close to his first son. But once the Titanomachy caused a rip in the fabric of the Aether, Astraeus decided to merge with the Chaos, to power up the starry space with his life force, so the world can keep existing. Basically, he sacrificed his own life. Out of all of Eos' children, Boreas was the most traumatized from losing his dad: death hits hard when you're immortal. So he isolates himself emotionally, and doesn’t let himself get attached to people. LET ALONE mortals. He stayed away when Eos romanced Tithonus and never warmed up to the mortal prince. And now, ARES of all people is trying to take Astraeus' place. So Boreas is pissed. He is the ruthless north wind anyway - it's his nature to destroy, not cherish. Let alone love!! Except oops, Eros pulled a pro gamer move on him and Orithyia)

- in contrast, Orithyia gets jealous and insecure easily too. She knows they're not a looker of a human - they're a scrawny little nerd with buckteeth and inexistent curves. Why would Boreas even look at their way?? Out of pity?? What exactly does he find so attractive in them? Orithyia often overachieves with their scientific research so they could impress Boreas and make him proud, even though the god of north wind already adores them more than anything. (Having a history of being in an abusive marriage with a husband who constantly belittled her doesn't help. Someone get the god of psychology, because these both need serious therapy JDJDKALLS)

- On a lighter note, Boreas may act like a pompous snob amongs the gods, but Orithyia pulls out his playful side. Occassionally, at the mountains, Orithyia catches him off guard by throwing a snowball at his back. Boreas grins evilly, and launches a whole ass barrage of snowballs that bury Orithyia into a snow pile LMFAO

- Remember the ending of Spartan Experience when Boreas was trapped inside a gigantic metal pipe? Yeah, once Herc yeeted his ass away, Orithyia found Boreas and spent several days in shenanigans trying to find ways to break their boyfriend free LMFAO (eventually they settled with melting the metal by using a red hot steel bar and caused a mountain fire by accident)

[nanaosaki3940]

A Condition Called Love [Tokyo Revengers]

|| Tokyo Revengers ||(Almost follows the canon storyline of TR & is up-to-date with the manga.) 

Genre: Romance, Fluff, Angst. 

Warning: Age-gap romance (no smut), blood, gore, strong language, unrequited love. 

(I know this is an xOC fic, but you can read it as a self-insert if you like)

TR masterlist

"The depth of the sky's blue color is our love and only over the years will we notice the hue's strength; up close it is as clear as pure water, yet when we see the miles, it is the blue of fairytale dreams. I'm not perfect, but I'd follow you into hell if that's what it took to keep you safe. I am your protector as you are mine, one to shield the other. I'll stay with you as you stay with me, trust in you as you trust in me, and together we'll ride through every storm, waiting to see what the new dawn may bring."

- Shinichiro Sano 

~~~~~

(March 14, 1998 - White Day)

"Please be my girlfriend!" 

Just now, at a neighborhood park, Shinichiro Sano, an 18-year-old 3rd-year high schooler, also famously known around Tokyo as the commander of the delinquent gang Black Dragons, asked out one of the prettiest girls in his school to be his girlfriend. Within this 18-year of his lifespan, this was the 20th time the Sano boy was confessing his romantic feelings to a girl he liked. It happened previously in the past as well, where he confessed his feelings to different other girls from time to time, but unfortunately for him, got rejected each and every time. Even after seeking out help and advice from his three best friends (Takeomi Akashi, Wakasa Imaushi, and Keizo Arashi aka Benkei), for some reason, none of his confessions ever worked. 

But this time, it would work, right? A simple man like Shinichiro can only dream. 

"It's been 7 months since we met..." he added with a bashful smile, eyes twinkling in anticipation as he held out a bouquet of red roses and a jewelry box that had an expensive bracelet in it. "So I wanted to make this a special day. Please accept these."

"What are you saying?" the girl in question asked him, raising an eyebrow in confusion. 

And hearing that, Shinichiro immediately went stiff on his spot in shock. 

"Huh?" he questioned back with a puzzled look on his face before a worried smile curled up to his lips. "Eh? Are you worried about the cost of the bracelet? I have enough to buy one..." 

"No, that's not it." the girl replied, slightly shaking her head. "I already have a boyfriend..." 

"Huh?! What?!" Shinichiro exclaimed out in shock, his eyes widening even more in fraction, his voice sounding panicked. "Wait... We have gone out so many times for dinners and movies. You took photos with me and exclaimed, "wow, this is fun!". No matter how you look at it, you had feelings for me, right? Or were you faking your happiness all alone?! You even gave me Valentine's chocolate this year!"

"Well, that is because you are my friend. Isn't it obvious?" the girl stated, tilting her head to the side. "And I gave chocolates to all my friends at school, Sano..." 

Wow... Now, Shinichiro started to feel like a pathetic loser. He seriously wanted to cry at that moment. 

'What's wrong with me?' he thought to himself, wanting his smash his head against a wall in embarrassment. 

"Ah, anyway, Sano, I've to go now... It's time to meet my boyfriend. See you later! Bye!" 

And it didn't take long before the girl walked away from his line of sight. 

"Wait- you must be kidding..." he mumbled to himself, still standing in the middle of the park with those roses and that expensive jewelry in his hands. 

Shinichiro Sano got rejected again and this was the 20th time in a row consecutively. 

'Just give up, Shin. You're gonna die a virgin.' Takeomi's words which were ringing over and over again in his head weren't helping his situation at all at that moment. 

"He got dumped?" 

"Ugh, so lame!" 

"What about those gifts in his hands?" 

"So funny!" 

Now even the unknown people in the park who were watching the whole scene get unfolded started to mumble to themselves. People sure can be really mean sometimes. 

"Wow, Shin-chan, you're so lame." A familiar feminine voice of a little girl suddenly spoke from behind the Sano boy, causing him to yelp out in surprise before spinning around to face her. 

"Nana-chan!" he gasped out, his onyx eyes made contact with her brownish amber ones, finding her standing there with her schoolbag hanging on her shoulders. 

Nana Osaki, an 8-year-old little girl who was the same age as Shinichiro's younger brother, Manjiro Sano, was one of his childhood friends. She used to live in a small house just beside the Sano residence with her parents ever since her birth until two years ago when both of her parents died in a car accident and had been living with the Sanos ever since then. Her relatives didn't want to take her in, considering that she might be a burden to them and Shinichiro was someone who couldn't let go of Nana just like that. 

Where will she go? Where will she live? And with whom? What will she eat? Her future? Her education? Her career? 

Her relatives might have abandoned her, but that didn't mean Shinichiro (a concerned friend, and neighbor that he was) would do the same thing as well. He was just too kind and soft-hearted. On top of that, the Sanos and the Osakis had been family friends for generations now, meaning that Nana had known the Sano family forever. On the other hand, similar to Shinichiro, Grandpa Sano also didn't mind taking Nana in, given that her late father, Daisuke Osaki was his former student at his family dojo and had always considered little Nana as one of his grandchildren. 

And so ever since her parents' death, the Sanos became her family. 

"Shin-chan, please stop it." little Nana deadpanned at the teen Sano boy who was bowing in front of her in a pleading manner.

"How much should I pay you, Nana-chan?" he asked, looking up at her. "I don't have much with me right now."

"What are you talking about?" she asked as she crossed her arms over her chest, raising an eyebrow at him.  

"Well, you saw me getting dumped... And you might feel like telling it to everyone..." Shinichiro whispered out, rubbing the back of his neck in a sheepish manner.

"I won't do such things, Shin-chan. I won't tell that a grown-up hopeless guy like you got dumped straight to his face again and cried in the end..." she stated out bluntly, stabbing him right into the heart with those cold, harsh words.  

Shinichiro Sano's remaining HP: Zero. 

Although for some people this might seem comical, Nana still couldn't understand why girls would reject someone like Shinichiro Sano. The boy was beautiful that's for sure. Short black hair with black eyes, fair skin with slim, tall stature; the older Sano boy without a doubt was cute and attractive. Not to mention, he had a very charming personality.

Depicted as "weak to women, weak in fights, but reliable.", Shinichiro was a notorious delinquent with an unequaled reputation who garnered the respect of many delinquents, both inside his gang and those of rival gangs. Although he was a terrible fighter, his caring personality and ability to stand up for others, along with his humble nature earned him the loyalty of many delinquents much stronger than him. As a result of this elevated status, the delinquents displayed nothing but respect towards Shinichiro. He always saw the good in people and hoped for them to be led on the right path in life instead of walking alone. Shinichiro was a kind person who could look out for others, particularly his family whom he loved dearly, teaching his younger siblings about delinquency, fashion, and bikes amongst other things. Though there were times when Grandpa Sano would mildly get annoyed with Shinichiro's tendency to avoid dojo training as he believed it a chore. 

Then why did the girls reject him? Couldn't they see the good in him like how Nana always saw in him? Shinichiro was a kind individual and for that Nana liked him a lot, so then why can't the other girls? It was really frustrating sometimes. 

"Why were you walking home all alone earlier, Nana-chan?" Shinichiro asked, causing the Osaki girl to snap out of her trance as they made their way toward the Sano residence. "Where's Manjiro?" 

"Ran off to God knows where with Ken-chan and Kei-chan after school..." Nana replied with a shrug, referring to her other childhood friends Ken Ryuguji and Keisuke Baji, and Shinichiro let out a small chuckle in response. 

"That's Manjiro to you, I guess..." he hummed out.  

"Hey, Shin-chan?" Nana called out, looking up at that tall boy beside her. "Why are you so desperate to find a girlfriend?" 

"Huh?" Shinichiro looked down at the little girl in surprise. 

"That girl from earlier... What was it about her that you liked anyway?" Nana questioned, her voice filled with genuine curiosity. 

"Where is this even coming from?" he asked back in confusion. 

"Just answer me..." she demanded. 

"Umm... she was pretty?" 

"Is that a question or an answer?" 

"An answer...? Also, she's very nice and sweet and..." Shinichiro went on and on about that previous crush of his. 

Then a moment later Nana interrupted him by asking him another question. 

"But did you love her from the bottom of your heart?" she questioned and Shinichiro immediately stopped walking. "How much do you know about her? What's her favorite color? What's her favorite flower? Her favorite movie? Her favorite song? What does she like to eat? What's her hobby? Her future plans? How long have you known each other?..." 

But Shinichiro couldn't respond back to any of those and kept on staring at Nana in surprise, remaining completely silent. 

"Okay let's say you know everything about her... But how much does she know about you, Shin-chan? Your favorites? Your likes and dislikes? Your good qualities? Your insecurities? Does she even like you the way you do? Have you ever shared any special moment with her? Have you ever gone up to her and complained about your bad days? Have you ever cried on her shoulders? Has she ever held your hands when you were lonely and given you comfort? Did you ever find her by your side when you needed her the most?..." 

"That's some serious stuff you're saying, Nana-chan..." Shinichiro chuckled out sheepishly, running a hand through his raven locks. 

"What I'm trying to say is that - don't just go and confess your feelings to whoever you find pretty and attractive..." the little girl let out a sigh, closing her eyes momentarily. 

Hearing her words, Shinichiro let out another amused chuckle. That was so like Nana Osaki; always looking through the facade and diving into the deepest, darkest part of one's soul. She always read him like an open book and for that, he could never hide anything from her. Nana knew him like the back of her hand; so perfect and precise, it was really scary sometimes. The power and advantage of knowing each other for years. 

"Now you sound like some wise old lady, Nana-chan." the boy teased, his lips curling up into a smirk. 

"That's good. At least I'm wiser than you, Shin-chan..." she stated and Shinichiro let out a dramatic gasp, placing a hand on the left side of his chest. 

Oh, how much she loved teasing him like that. 

"You hurt me, Nana-chan. You're so cruel!" he whined out with pouty lips, anime tears rolling down his cheeks and this cause the girl to roll her eyes at his antics. 

"Well, if you want a girlfriend that bad, just so you know, I'm always there for you as a standby..." she added with sincerity, and immediately Shinichiro snapped his head around to look back at her with wide eyes in shock. 

"HUH?!"

It felt as if the whole world stopped moving for a moment and the universe forgot its every law of physics. Did he hear that right? This little girl, who was 10 years younger than him, was the same age as his younger brother Manjiro wished to become his girlfriend? This was completely outrageous and scandalous in every maximum way possible. All of a sudden his heart started to hammer hard against his ribcage while his whole face went all red like a tomato. As if his heart would burst out of his chest any second now. Wait, why was he blushing at her proposal, not to mention an 8-year-old's proposal, making him feel all warm and fuzzy inside? Why did his hands become all sweaty? Why was he feeling so goddamn nervous? Was he turning into a sick pervert or something?! 

Noticing his blushing state, Nana's lips curled up into a wide grin, a soft giggle eventually passing through them. Aside from his looks and personality, Nana always loved his blushing face a lot. To her, it was really cute and adorable. 

"Or if you want more than that, I can just become your bride instead. And since you don't have any specific preference when it comes to women, I think I'll do just fine for you." 

"WAIT?! WHAT?!" 

"So, please wait for me until I become an adult, okay, Shin-chan?"

"When I see you, it's as if space and time become the finest point imaginable as if time collapses into one tiny speck and explodes at light speed. It's as if my universe begins and ends with you. I could run forever, search forever, but in the end, every path leads right back to your heart and soul. I love you, always."

- Keisuke Baji 

~~~~~

7th July 2005, 6:24 PM

Right now, I was at Keisuke's apartment, helping him out with his studies and upcoming test. Keisuke Baji might not be the brightest flower on the field (certainly the prettiest of course), but he was very eager to learn. As his smarter study buddy since our elementary school days, a study date at his place was my way of saying sorry to him for ditching our yakisoba lunch date this afternoon. When I walked into the Baji residence, I was warmly welcomed by Keisuke's mother and his only parent, Ryoko Baji who greeted me with a friendly smirk and hair ruffle before she started to yell and kick Keisuke again (which she was probably doing earlier before my arrival).  

Much like her son, Ryoko Baji had a violent and short-tempered nature that would quickly lead to an aggressive attitude which could be heavily suggested that Keisuke got his unpleasant traits from his mother. However, unlike her son, Ryoko was normally able to be very cool and calm at times especially towards me because, in her eyes, I was a nice and polite kid. She was also someone who would always recognize the flaws in her son and would also be really worried about him like any normal parent should.

Ryoko always disapproved of Keisuke's violent attitude and would even smack or yell at him (not in an abusive way) for his actions (and by actions I meant him getting into fights almost every day and burning down cars just because he was craving peyoung yakisoba). Despite recognizing all of Keisuke's flaws, Ryoko always desired that he would be a good boy and would do better in his studies and school. 

When I met her for the first time, I was only five years old back. It was when Keisuke joined the Sano dojo a year back that he and I became really good friends and he ended up inviting me to his place so we could play together with his toys. Long black hair, sharp brown eyes, thin eyebrows, pointy canine teeth; she looked really pretty in my eyes (aside from my own mother and Mrs. Sano) and I was really amazed by her beauty.

And Keisuke got all those exact same physical features from his mother, even her hot-tempered attitude. In short, Keisuke was a mini version of his mother and it was really cute in my opinion. Upon our first meeting, I thought Ryoko was Keisuke's older sister or something like that just because she looked so young. Maybe she was one and had Keisuke at a very young age, who knows? Also, most of the time, she had this frown on her face which most likely indicated that she was always constantly worrying about her aggressive, angry son.

Ryoko was one of those cool moms who gave zero fuck to everything, like 'I don't give a fuck' sort of attitude. Single working parent who had a habit of smoking and always walked around like a boss with her head up high - that was Ryoko Baji to me and to everyone; a lady with a firm, explosive personality but underneath hid a very sensitive and caring person. 

"Did Keisuke get into fights again today, Nana-chan?" she asked narrowing her eyes at me with her arms crossed over her chest. 

I peeked to the side and saw Keisuke doing some weird hand gestures, telling me to lie to his mother. 

"Keisuke's been a good boy at school today, Ryoko-san..." I replied, looking back at her with a convincing smile. 

Even though he kicked asses of some punks on the way back home earlier today... 

"Is that so, huh?" she hummed before a small smile appeared on her face. "Well, that's good then. Thank you for always taking care of that useless son of mine, Nana-chan." 

"It's not a big deal, Ryoko-san." I chuckled in response. 

"Mom! Why do we have only one packet of peyoung yakisoba here?!" Keisuke suddenly yelled out from the kitchen before he started to head towards the front door. "I'll quickly go and buy some yakisoba from the nearby store!" 

"Oh, no you don't, mister!" Ryoko yelled back, kicking him to get inside the house again. "Nana-chan's here to tutor you, not to eat yakisoba! Don't waste her precious time, you son of a bitch! Get your ass to your room right now! And also, no yakisoba for you today cause I'm cooking dinner tonight!"

"Ouch! Stop kicking me, woman!" Keisuke yelled out again while I simply stared at the mother-son duo in amusement. 

Did Ryoko-san just call herself a bitch?? Wow... 

Soon after that, Keisuke and I settled down in his bedroom and we began to study, or more like I began to tutor him. When it came to studying, locations didn’t really matter to Keisuke, but somewhere quiet, with no “annoying punks” around always was the best way to get him to concentrate on his school stuff. To my own surprise, his school stuff was actually really organized - colorful folders for every subject, important documents in clear film, and so on, but unfortunately, he had zero motivation. When he would stray from his schoolbooks, I had to either kick his ass or smack him on the head to bring back his concentration, but once he would get into that “Learning Headspace”, things would go upwards from there.

Keisuke would even tie his hair up into a ponytail and put on those stupid glasses because he considered his study sessions with me a serious matter. I had to go through the entire school curriculum with him and since I already completed my second year in middle school last year, it was easy to teach him what he didn't know. However, the hardest part of the whole process was actually having him understand the content I was teaching him. Like he had trouble remembering kanji words in Japanese or events and key figures in Japanese history or phrases in English or understanding the formulae and methods of mathematics and the list goes on. 

"What? Takemichi?" Keisuke asked as he looked up from his book and locked his gaze on me, raising an eyebrow. 

"Yeah. That guy's name is Takemichi Hanagaki." I responded back with a smile. "He's weak at fighting, but the way he faced Kiyomasa... For some reason, he reminds me of Shin-chan... Manjiro took a liking to him. He's probably thinking about recruiting that guy in Toman." 

Keisuke immediately went quiet for a moment before furrowing his eyebrows at me. 

"So, now what? You started liking this twerp or something?" he grumbled out, sounding a bit irritated. 

"Huh? What? No!" I replied, frowning back at him. "Of course not, you idiot! What are you even talking about? Takemichi might remind me of Shin-chan in a way, but he isn't my type at all. Also, I just met him today. He's a total stranger to me. I don't fall in love with strangers." 

Hearing my answer, Keisuke now looked visibly relaxed. 

What's wrong with him? He never behaves like this...

"So, what's your type?" he asked, leaning towards the side. 

"My type?" I asked back and he nodded his head at me. "Well... someone who knows me well, someone who will accept me the way I am, someone who's loyal, honest, and respectful... I don't care about the looks, to be honest as long as the guy is nice and has a good heart." 

"Is that so, huh..." he trailed off in a whispered tone as he momentarily looked away from me and stared off to space, getting lost in his thoughts. 

What is he thinking now? This boy... so unpredictable...

"Okay, that's enough. Breaks over." I spoke up with a sigh causing Keisuke to snap out of his thoughts. "Let's play a game." 

"We finished studying already?" he asked in confusion. 

"No, we're not. You see, I'm gonna give you 50 pop quiz questions. It's about everything we went through up until now. If you get half of them correct, like 25 questions, I'll take you to a yakisoba dinner tomorrow... And if you get all of them correct, then I'll-" 

"Then can I get a kiss from you?" 

"I'll slap you, Keisuke." 

~~~~~

August 3rd, 2005 

That day after breaking and shattering almost everything Takemichi owned followed by the yellow-haired boy's sudden outburst with a piece of turd on his head, Manjiro and Draken finally decided to make up and things went back to normal like how they used to be. As long as those two weren't fighting each other and creating chaos, I didn't need to worry about anything anymore, for now at least. So I went back to my usual relaxed mood again, releasing myself from all headaches, burdens, and panics.

Then two days later after the incident at Takemichi's place, Keisuke called up and asked me if I wanted to go to the festival this year which was going to be held at the Musashi Shrine on August 3rd. I accepted his offer, thinking that it would be a great way to relax and treat myself to food and stuff while having a better chance to spend some quality time with my best friend named Keisuke Baji. 

Tonight was August 3rd, meaning the night of the Musashi Festival. Several food stands and game stands were whelming the area of the Musashi Shrine. The place was lighted up by numerous lanterns and decorations that emphasized the festival and the traditions. Walking down the path while pushing through the crowd, Keisuke and I were in our normal casual clothes (our usual denim shirts and black jeans with black combat boots) as we didn't even bother to wear yukatas on this occasion for various reasons. Like Keisuke came up with like - "What if we've to fight some punks on the street tonight? We can't do that if we're wearing a yukata now, can we?" He had a fair point though. Being a part of a delinquent gang meant we were constantly surrounded by punks, constantly fighting random gangs and shit. How exhausting. 

"What's Mikey doing tonight? Is he coming to the festival later on?" Keisuke asked as we walked together side by side, holding hands with fingers intertwined. 

"Don't know." I shrugged. "Manjiro suddenly got an urgent phone call from some Toman members this evening, saying that they wanted to meet him somewhere near the Shibuya station." 

"That's strange..." Keisuke muttered out, furrowing his eyebrows a bit as we walked down the narrow pathway. "What's so urgent that they have to call him up like that?" 

"I know right? Doesn't make any sense at all." I responded back, slightly frowning as well. 

To this day, I could still remember how I used to come to this festival every year with Shinichiro, Manjiro, Emma and Keisuke. Shinichiro used to take us to different food stands and buy us whatever we felt like eating. Playing games and buying souvenirs were things we all enjoyed doing but watching fireworks together at the end of the festival was a must. There was no way we could miss out on the chance of watching fireworks together - that was what we used to say back then. We even had our own special spot around the Musashi Shrine where the five of us would sit down on the grass and enjoy the firework show together. But everything suddenly changed after Shinichiro passed away. I really missed those days, really.

Then all of a sudden, a familiar voice spoke up from behind us. 

"Nana? Baji?" 

We immediately halted in our spots and turned around to look - it was Emma, Draken, Takemichi, and Hinata standing behind us with confused looks on their faces. The girls were wearing cute yukatas which suited them very well while the boys were in their normal casual clothes just like me and Keisuke. 

“Nana! You came!” Emma smiled brightly and walked up to hug me, but the hug wasn’t very comfortable as Keisuke refused to let go of our intertwined hands. "I thought you wanted to stay at home tonight." 

"Keisuke asked me to come, so I came here with him." I smiled back with a nonchalant shrug. 

“Look what the cat dragged in...” Draken stated with a smirk, looking down at Keisuke’s unbuttoned shirt. “Nice tits, Baji.” 

"One more word out of your mouth and I'm murdering you right here and now, Draken." Keisuke snarled out and I nudged him to the side to calm him down since Takemichi and Hinata were also there. 

"Be nice now, Keisuke..." I stated in a soft tone before looking back at Takemichi and Hinata with a smile. "Takemichi, Hinata. Hey there!" 

"Hello, Nana-chan!" Hinata greeted me happily as she and her boyfriend came closer to us. 

"Nana-chan, who's that?" Takemichi asked in confusion, feeling intimidated by Keisuke. 

"Oh, this is Keisuke Baji, Toman's 1st Division Captain. The biggest edgelord in the entirety of Shibuya..." I introduced them to Keisuke causing the said boy to twitch his eyebrows when I called him 'Shibuya's Edgelord'. "Manjiro and I've been friends with Keisuke ever since we were four years old. He's our oldest childhood best friend." 

"Toman's 1st Division Captain?!" Takemichi gasped out in shock, his eyes widening open. 

"You're that twerp from the other day." Keisuke scoffed, frowning down at the yellow-haired boy. "Takemichi Hanagaki, right?" 

"Y-Yes! Nice to meet you, Baji-kun!" Takemichi squeaked out in fear, almost comical in a sense. 

"Keisuke, stop scaring the poor guy." I scolded, causing Keisuke to pout at me before I looked back at Takemichi with an apologetic look. "Sorry, Takemichi. Keisuke looks scary, but he's a nice guy. He means no harm." 

"Anyway, where's Mikey?" Draken asked, looking around.

"He's not here..." Keisuke replied before draping an arm around my shoulders. "Got some urgent call or shit." 

"Huh? Really? I thought he would definitely be here given that Nana's here too. You know how clingy he is to her." Emma pointed out with a sly smirk but I ignored her remark while Keisuke scoffed in response. 

"Whatever. We're leaving. Let's go, Nana." Keisuke stated with his arm still draped around my shoulder before he started to pull me away from those other four. 

"Lead the way, my beloved arsonist." I joked with a cheeky smirk causing Keisuke's cheeks to turn hot red in color. 

“I have more to my personality than burning cars, Nana.” He grumbled, dropping his arm off my shoulder and grabbing my hand again, intertwining our fingers. 

“I know. I’m just teasing you.” I chuckled out at his bashfulness.

“Whatever.” Keisuke dismissed me, before leading me away.

“See ya later, guys!" I shouted out to my friends. 

Saying farewell to my friends, I walked away with Keisuke hand in hand through the crowd of the festival. Back then, as little kids, Keisuke and I used to come to this festival together every year with the Sano siblings, and I could still remember how Keisuke and Manjiro used to hold my hands on each side and walk down the path of the festival. They were so stubborn that neither of them ever wanted to let go of my hands. Holding Keisuke's hand at this moment was reminding me of those days.

During the Musashi Shrine festival, vendors would set up all around the shrine grounds and sometimes the surrounding vicinity. They sold traditional snacks, from baked sweet potatoes and takoyaki to newer additions, such as chocolate-dipped bananas, candy apples, and character lollipops. Traditional festival games were interspersed among the snack vendors. An example of this was goldfish scooping. The game master would provide a delicate paper ‘net’ to scoop the goldfish into a bowl. Once the net would break, the player's turn would be over. The player would get to keep any goldfish they caught. An unusual variation in this game was played with mini turtles. Other carnival-style games like ring toss and target practice could be found here at this festival as well. Small trinkets, stuffed toys, and other souvenirs could be bought at Musashi Festival. Many were edible, while the toys, masks, and other goods often appealed to young children. They would also include stuffed toys of popular cartoon characters and plastic masks depicting animal faces. 

"Okay, general knowledge time..." I spoke up and Keisuke looked over at me with curiosity. "Do you know what this Musashi Shrine is known for?" 

"This Musashi Shrine...?" the ravenette boy trailed for a moment before shaking his head. "No, I've no clue." 

"This shrine is locally known for being the site of what are claimed to be the graves of Hirata Muni, his wife Omasa, and most controversially, the grave of Miyamoto Musashi himself. Miyamoto Musashi also known as Shinmen Takezō, Miyamoto Bennosuke, or by his Buddhist name, Niten Dōraku was a Japanese swordsman, philosopher, strategist, writer, and rōnin, who became renowned through stories of his unique double-bladed swordsmanship and undefeated record in his 61 duels. Musashi, as he was often simply known, is considered a Kensei, a sword-saint of Japan. He was the founder of the Niten Ichi-ryū, or Nito Ichi-ryū, style of swordsmanship, and in his final years authored The Book of Five Rings (Go Rin No Sho) and Dokkōdō (The Path of Aloneness)." I informed him causing the boy to give me a look of amazement. 

"And that's why I love having you as my tutor. You're just too smart." he grinned and I giggled out in response before looking up at the sky above us. 

"This year... I don't want to miss the firework show, Keisuke." I stated as we sat closer to one another on a bench somewhere quiet (a more secluded part of the festival grounds) eating takoyaki and candy apples together. 

"You really love the fireworks, huh?" Keisuke asked with a grin and I giggled out in response. 

"I always wanted to draw rainbows in the dark, hold pencils of pure light, I guess that's why I love fireworks so. The fireworks are chaos and predictability - their explosive gifts finding their own time and space to own. As they do, I am the spectator, seeing their blazing trails arc above. There's something about them that warms me even in the cold as if their stray sparks passed into my blood. Arcing fireworks light the sky as rainbows of starlight." I stated in a soft tone causing Keisuke to give me a look of amusement. 

"You can be so poetic sometimes, Nana. Seriously though..." Keisuke responded back, chuckling out as well. 

As I sat there beside Keisuke looking at him, I suddenly started to realize how beautiful he actually was. The silvery-platinum moonlight fell on him and illuminated his every feature, making him look absolutely ethereal. Long black hair - smooth, silky, and wavy; sharp brown eyes; sharp teeth; sharp jawline and cheekbones; skin like milky yet manly rough; eyebrows sharp yet thick; tall stature with a perfect muscular body for a middle schooler - Keisuke Baji was a total hunk among the many.

After Shinichiro Sano, if I did find any other man physically attractive or found myself getting attracted to someone other than Shinichiro, that was Keisuke Baji. I always knew from the start that I was somewhat attracted to Keisuke one way or another, but my love for Shinichiro was so deep and passionate that it blinded me from realizing my feelings for Keisuke. 

I always believed a man's beauty starts from his hearty, loving soul and radiates from there to create his final form; and men like Shinichiro and Keisuke were the perfect examples of that. Loyal, trustworthy, honest, respectful, kind, generous, compassionate, and a heart of gold - those were the words I could associate Shinichiro and Keisuke with. Sure Keisuke was violent and pretty much brainless while Shinichiro was weak and a crybaby, but I couldn't overlook the fact that they were the type of men who were perfect for almost every type of woman out there after analyzing their beauty and personality. 

"Take a picture. It'll last long." 

I immediately snapped out of my thoughts when Keisuke's words reached my ears. I then noticed the boy smirking at me mischievously, his left-top canine tooth poking out from in between his lips. 

"Why would I take your picture?" I scoffed, looking away from him a small blush on my cheeks. "You're ugly." 

"Ouch. Now you're hurting my feelings, Nana." Keisuke joked as he put a hand on the left side of his chest and I smacked him playfully on his arm. 

"Shut up." I huffed with a pout, causing him to let out another light chuckle. 

His voice was so deep and velvety, it sounded really tantalizing to hear. 

"We'll be able to see the firework show from here. I think it's a perfect spot for the view." Keisuke pointed out and I looked around at the area. 

"Yeah, you're right." I hummed in agreement. 

"I'm the one who found the spot here. I'm a genius, ain't I? You should thank me for this." He smirked at me cockily. 

"That's not happening." I scoffed and he threw a playful glare at me. 

"You ungrateful woman. You're lucky that I love you." he scoffed, rolling his eyes and I stuck out my tongue at him teasingly. 

"And that's your fatal flaw." I joked sassily as if the words I just said were the biggest secret this universe could offer him while staring up at the full moon night sky. "Your love for me might kill you someday." 

Then suddenly silence fell between the two of us for a moment and this caused me to start to panic from the inside. 

Why did he go quiet? Why isn't he responding? Did I screw up something? Did I say something I shouldn't have? 

When I looked back at him again, I noticed he was already staring at me with a soft look in his gaze - so loving and soft it started to make me all warm and fuzzy inside. Taking the advantage of me losing myself in a daze, Keisuke scooted closer to me, arms touching, shoulders brushing, as he gently grabbed my hand that was on my lap and intertwined our fingers. 

"To me, that's a beautiful flaw..." he whispered out, leaning closer to my face, his sharp eyes darkened and his thumb gently brushed the knuckles of my hand that was intertwining his. "I don't mind dying for you." 

And my eyes immediately widened at his words and without knowing myself, I tightened my grip on our intertwined hands. Worry and panic slightly started to display in my eyes as I looked into his eyes in desperation. 

"Don't you ever dare die on me, Keisuke..." I whispered back and his gaze softened even more. "I already lost Shinichiro. I don't wanna lose you too."

I could feel the heat and warmth radiating from Keisuke's body as he leaned closer and pressed his forehead against mine, his warm sweet breath caressing my face and lips. He smelled very nice, a mix of mint and sandalwood. Keisuke gently pushed a few strands of my raven locks behind my right ear and cupped my right cheek with his left hand, brushing my skin with his thumb, innocently yet teasingly while the look in his eyes was hot, fiery, and passionate. The way our skin touched, the way we invaded each other's personal spaces and boundaries, I didn't mind or feel uncomfortable with him being this close to me at this very moment, and neither did he. We never did and we never would.

"Sorry for scaring you... I won't say that again, Nana..." he whispered again and our noses touched, slightly. "I won't ever leave you alone. Ever. I promised you that day, remember? I'm here, always. By your side." 

Keisuke Baji was an unpredictable man. For me, who was good at reading people just by observing their behavior, there were times I couldn't tell what was actually going through Keisuke's mind. This man was so wild and loved the thrill of adrenaline so much to the point that he would punch someone out on the street for no apparent reason, only because he felt like it, or would burn down a car simply because he was hungry. His erratic behavior always confused me to no end and I always had to figure him out, always had to learn something new about him which was frustrating and fun at the same time. Like that one time when I was tutoring him, he asked me for a kiss as a reward. I still couldn't tell if he was being serious or he was simply just joking. Like right now the way he was touching me was so loving and passionate yet so playful and teasing.

Keisuke and Manjiro had always been touchy and clingy towards me ever since we were little kids; Keisuke lesser than Manjiro but it was still the same. As kids, their touches were friendly and innocent but it all slowly started to change once we entered middle school. While Manjiro's touches were possessive and demanding yet somewhat child-like, Keisuke's ones felt more different, more like the way one would touch their lover, not their mere childhood friend. I wasn't sure if I was being paranoid or was overthinking it, but that was how I always felt under Keisuke's touches; unsatisfied and breathless. I wanted more. I craved more. And I knew if this kept going on like this between me and Keisuke, I definitely would go crazy one day. Keisuke Baji would be the death of me someday.  

Hearing his soothing deep voice eased my heart and soul before I closed my eyes and nuzzled against his hand which was still holding my face ever so lovingly and gently. 

"Hey, Keisuke, listen... I want to tell you something-" 

I was suddenly out off when a cell phone started to ring; it was Keisuke's. We then quickly pulled away from each other before the ravenette boy answered his phone. I noticed his face went from calm to serious and then to furious. Furrowing his eyebrows deep, his eyes sharpened and his jaw tightened. 

"Yeah, okay... I'll go and get the rest of the crew right now. Don't worry about it..." he stated and hung up the call. 

"What happened?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows as well. 

"Mitsuya called. It's Peh." He replied, looking back at me with all seriousness. "That bastard snitched." 

~~~~~

11:37 PM, 24th October 2005

After that whole chaos that went down this evening, I called a certain someone to meet up with me in the neighborhood park which was located in the same area I lived in, the same place where Manjiro, Keisuke, Emma and I used to play together back when we all were just little kids. Life was so simple back then. No gang, no fighting, no shit – just me and my friends hanging out together, goofing around. If only I could bring those days back.

“Sorry for keeping you waiting, Nana…”

As I was sitting on one of the benches at the park, I turned my head around and looked over to my side to face the person who standing there just a few feet away from me - black shirt with black jeans and boots while the cool breeze of late October blew by making his long, wavy black hair gently sway in the air; the man was looking as beautiful and exquisite as always in my eyes. 

“You went too far, Keisuke. Did you really need to punch Takemichi like that on the face though? That poor guy…” I stated with a pout, crossing my arms over my chest.

In response, Keisuke let out an airy chuckle in a sheepish manner before taking a seat beside me on the bench. I moved a bit closer to him as soon as he sat down until our arms were touching, our shoulders were brushing one another.

“Well, in order to convince them, I needed to keep up with the bad guy appearance, you know...” Keisuke replied and I scoffed in response. 

Keisuke Baji, as always, sought violence, even if he didn't mean actual harm. I doubted that man was ever going to change in life. 

“But still though… I think you went a bit far with it. Apologize to Takemichi the next time you’re seeing him.” I stated and this caused Keisuke to furrow his eyebrows in seriousness.

“I don’t think there’s gonna be a next time, Nana.” He responded back in a firm tone, causing me to give him a confused look.

“Huh? What do you mean?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to go back to Toman after what I just did today…” he added.

“Do you seriously think that Manjiro and the others are gonna abandon you just like that for such a trivial thing?” I asked, almost deadpanning at him. “You’re their friend, Keisuke. You’re like a brother to them, like a family. Each and every one of them loves you to death. Do you realize how hurt they were when you said that you were leaving Toman for Valhalla? Even though they didn’t show it on their faces, I know how it broke their hearts when you left the gang and walked away from them. Especially Manjiro. That poor guy is getting more and more desperate with the passage of every second just to bring you back to the gang.”

“But Nana, I need to do this for the gang too.” Keisuke countered back.

“What are you talking about? I mean once we’re successful in kicking out Kisaki from the group, you can easily return back to Toman, Keisuke.”

“I’m not only doing this just to kick out Kisaki from Toman. I’m also doing this for some other reasons…”

“Like what?”

“Kazutora…”

Silence fell between the two of us when Keisuke said that name - Kazutora Hanemiya, the man who murdered the love of my life, Shinichiro Sano.

“Huh? Kazutora? What does this anything have to do with Kazutora anyway?” I asked, getting even more confused.

“I got a letter from Kazutora almost a month ago… He got out of juvie not so long ago...” Keisuke replied and my eyes went wide open in realization.

That’s right. Kazutora went to juvie for killing Shinichiro back in August 2003 and for the act of murder he was sentenced to two years of imprisonment. And right now, it was October 2005, meaning he was already out of juvie by now.

“I met up with Kazutora after leaving Toman’s meeting this evening. He has joined Valhalla as well…” Keisuke added.

“Kazutora joined a gang as soon as he came out of juvie? Just what in the world… Just why?” I questioned again and this time, Keisuke took a moment to respond back.

“To kill Mikey…” he stated in a low yet firm tone and I let out a small gasp in shock.

“Kill Manjiro? What do you mean kill Manjiro? Is this some kind of a joke now?” I barked out in annoyance.

“After killing Shinichiro-kun, Kazutora had this mental breakdown and he started to put all the blames on Mikey. Because of Mikey, he went to steal that motorbike and ended up killing Shinichiro-kun. Because of Mikey, he went to juvie and wasted two years of his life there… This is how he’s trying to cope with the fact that he murdered a person at the age of 13, no less Shinichiro-kun, Mikey’s brother…”

“Without taking the blame onto himself for murdering Shin-chan which he actually did and that’s the fact, he’s blaming Manjiro for everything that happened? I mean, what the fuck is he on right now? Was he doing drugs or shit for the past two years while being locked up in juvie? Does he really think he'll be able to kill the Invincible Manjiro Sano?" 

"I don't know, Nana. I don't know what Kazutora is capable of right now. So to protect Toman from Kisaki and Mikey from Kazutora, I need to join Valhalla. I need to stick around with Kazutora as long as possible because I promised him my support to the very end... 'I'd never kill Mikey's brother. I did this for Mikey's sake. This is all Mikey's fault. So I need to kill Mikey'... I remember that night, Kazutora kept on repeating those words over and over again after he realized that the person he killed was Shinichiro-kun. And without giving much thought to it, I ended up promising my support to him for eternity... And that's why I need to stay with Kazutora in order to fulfill my promise and to keep him away from Mikey." 

So he's doing all this shit for Manjiro and Kazutora...? Why is he so damn selfless?

"But what about me though, Keisuke? What about your promise to me? You said you'll stay by my side till your last breath... You're breaking that promise now, Keisuke, as if I don't matter to you anymore..." 

Keisuke's eyes widened a bit upon hearing my words before they softened a bit at the sight of me. Without saying another word, he immediately wrapped his arms around my petite form and brought me into a warm embrace, pressing me into his muscular chest. 

"I'd never break our promise, Nana and you know it..." he whispered into my ears, his hot minty breath sending a shiver down my spine. 

"But you are breaking your promise, Keisuke." I whimpered out in desperation, hugging him back with my dear life while resting my face in the crook of his neck, the scent of his cologne invading every five senses of mine. "Please don't leave me, Keisuke... Please don't... I need you..." 

"I think you need Mikey more than me." he chucked out in a dejected tone. 

"Who said I need Manjiro more than you?" I scoffed. 

"I just know, okay? I know you'll choose Mikey over me in a heartbeat-" 

I immediately cut him off by moving my face away from the crook of his neck and held his face in my hands, making him look into my eyes. I held his face so close to mine that our noses almost touched one another. Taking in his beauty under the silvery brilliance of the full moon in the sky, I began to wonder when Keisuke became as precious as Shinichiro to me. Before Keisuke came into my life, it was just and only me and Manjiro and no one else. Then it became the three of us, but when that whole Haruchiyo incident happened, I created a distance between myself and Manjiro out of fear and disappointment. Then it somewhat became just me and Keisuke and it had been like that ever since then.

During the time of my fallout with Manjiro that happened after he attacked Haruchiyo, Keisuke took Manjiro's place in my life and wiggled his way into my tiny heart, making himself at home there. Even I didn't know myself when Keisuke Baji became so dear to me. Back then I would've burned the whole world down just to protect Manjiro from any sort of malice. Manjiro was everything to me and I was everything to Manjiro. But it was years ago. Time passed, things changed along with feelings, people moved on.

The fact was - my first love was Shinichiro Sano and he would always and forever have a special place in my heart, it was something that was never going to change, ever. But also at the same time, it didn't take away the fact that I was falling in love again, that I was in love with someone else who wasn't Shinichiro Sano. Things were different now. Situations around me changed along with my feelings. I had already accepted the fact that Shinichiro was gone for good and he was never coming back, that I had to move on with my life without him, that my childhood best friend, Keisuke Baji had already replaced Shinichiro in my heart. To me, my love for Keisuke was a quiet emotion that in time became part of the oxygen I needed to breathe, and so though I might feel not sure that it was there, any form of removal and the emotions would begin to choke the life out of me. 

Only if Keisuke knew how wrong he was.

"You're so wrong, Keisuke..." I spoke up in a firm yet soft tone, frowning down at him while Keisuke looked at me with surprise, almost shock in his eyes. "Do you remember that one line I once told you years back when we were kids...?" 

Keisuke's eyes softened once again upon hearing my question, his arms tightened even more around my waist as he leaned closer to me. 

"I remember that, Nana... You and I are the fireworks in this velvet dark, the blaze that dares to light up the night... You told me that once when I lost to Mikey in a fight back then. You said you'll always have my back and that you believe in me..." Keisuke muttered out with his lips curling up into a small delicate smile. 

His response made me let out an airy sigh of relief and contentment before I gently pressed my forehead against his and this action made both of us close our eyes at once as we continued to bask in each other's warmth and embrace. To me, Keisuke was like my personal drug. One touch from him and the intoxication was instant as if everything was over; it was always that way with me ever since Shinichiro passed away and Keisuke became a constant figure in my life in Shinichiro's place. 

Whenever we touched one another, I could always feel electricity in my skin, hormones shutting down my higher brain. From there on in it was all passion, intense, intoxicating. Keisuke became my release, my escape, my drug. Not that I was easy, I knew well enough to avoid letting a man lay his hands on me. Yet with my chemistry with Keisuke, too many of my switches were flicked for a reverse gear to be possible. In short, I was simply smitten with Keisuke Baji to the point where all I could do was go along for the ride and pray my instincts were right. 

"Just because I knew Manjiro ever since we were babies, just because I knew Manjiro longer than I had known you, doesn't mean I'll choose him over you. Let's get one thing straight. If it ever came down to you and Manjiro, I would gladly let go of him, Keisuke. I will always choose you..." 

~~~~~

October 30th, 2005, 8:00 PM

"So, Chifuyu and Takemichi came to talk to you this morning, huh?" I asked the long-haired ravenette boy who was sitting right beside me in front of Shinichiro's grave before he simply hummed in response. 

"Chifuyu's smart." Keisuke pointed out in a serious tone. "I knew something like this was gonna happen." 

"Chifuyu's not smart, he's just perceptive. If he's smart, then I'm Albert Einstein." I countered back with a small smirk and Keisuke rolled his eyes at me in a playful manner. 

Ever since Keisuke left Toman and joined Valhalla, it got difficult for me to keep in contact with him, especially talking to him in person because wherever he went he was either accompanied by Kazutora or Hanma or maybe even both of them. The only way was left to talk to Keisuke face-to-face was at school but otherwise, it was either late-night phone calls or text messages. So it was a relief for me that I was able to speak to him in open like this without anyone noticing or spying on us. On top of that, we were at the cemetery in the nighttime, so the darkness of the night played a huge role in hiding us from the naked eyes of humans. 

"But you're right though... Chifuyu, Takemichi, and I went to meet Osanai at his workplace to do some digging on Kisaki." I added. 

"What did you find?" Keisuke asked, furrowing his eyebrows a bit and that's when I started to spill everything to him. 

"Kisaki was the one who put Osanai in the power and using Osanai, he started to instigate everything from behind the curtains. Kisaki was the one who sent his men to beat up Pah's friends and that led Pah to the edge. He used Peh for the conflict on August 3rd and he manipulated Kiyomasa to kill Ken-chan. After that, he approached Manjiro and got to his good side by bashing Osanai, saying that it was all Osanai's fault. And then in the next part, you already know what happened. Kisaki offered a deal to Manjiro regarding Pah and in exchange, he wanted the position of the 3rd Division captain." I went on while Keisuke simply stared at me with wide eyes in shock. 

"Kisaki did all of that...?" he trailed off and I nodded my head at him in response. 

"Not just that... Kisaki's new partner in crime is Shuji Hanma... Chifuyu and I assume that Kisaki is the one who's leading Valhalla." I added, leaving Keisuke even more shocked. "I mean think about it, Keisuke... No one knows who the Commander of Valhalla is. Hanma is the Vice-Commander and he's working with Kisaki. After everything Kisaki has done up until now, I won't be surprised if he turns out to be the leader of Valhalla as well..." 

"You're not wrong though..." Keisuke muttered out, furrowing his eyebrows a bit. 

After that, for a moment a comfortable silence fell between the two of us before I spoke up again. 

"You know, Manjiro assigned Takemichi to bring you back to Toman..." I mumbled out and this caused Keisuke to raise an eyebrow at me. "Did Takemichi say anything to you today?" 

"Now that I think about it... that twerp did say something really weird..." he trailed off in a daze and I gave him a confused look. "He said - Please make it through tomorrow alive. Please don't die. Because Nana-chan and Mikey-kun will be really sad... something like that." 

First Ken-chan and now Keisuke... that's weird...

Why does it feel like Takemichi always knows that something bad is going to happen to one of us... 

Like at first, he was against the whole idea of going into a conflict with Moebius... 

I remember Takemichi acting really strange when I asked him why we can't fight them... 

Then he was hellbound to keep Ken-chan protected from Kiyomasa during the August 3rd fight... 

And now he's saying this to Keisuke... as if he knows that something bad's gonna happen to Keisuke tomorrow... 

If that's what it is, then I'll definitely keep an extra eye on Keisuke tomorrow... just in case nothing bad happens to him... 

"So what's your plan tomorrow?" I asked and Keisuke looked over at me again. 

"Kill Kisaki." he replied in a firm tone. 

"You can't be serious now." I stated, raising an eyebrow. 

"I am serious, Nana." he huffed and I rolled my eyes at him. 

"You'll go to jail if you literally kill Kisaki, you moron. And this will make Ryoko-san cry again." I pointed out before noticing how Keisuke's eyes softened at the sight of me. 

"And you'll not?" he asked and I gave him a confused look. "You'll not cry for me if I go to jail?" 

"No. Why would I cry for you? My tears are too precious to get wasted like that." I responded back sassily, causing Keisuke to let out an amused chuckle before he leaned to my side and rested his head on my shoulder. 

"And here I thought you'll shade your tears for me, even if it's just a single drop." he sighed in a dramatic way, slightly shaking his head and my eyes immediately softened at his words. 

I can burn down the whole world for you, Keisuke... 

You're just that precious to me... 

Even I don't know myself what I'll do if something bad happens to you... 

So tomorrow Keisuke... better not die on me, my beloved arsonist...

"This crush I have on you, without you doing anything other than being kind, it lifted me up. I gained my own self-confidence because you thought I was worth talking to, worth being a friend to. So, whatever happens, you were adorable and the time I spent loving you so obsessively, was worth it."

- Manjiro Sano

~~~~~

19th July 2005, 10:57 PM

"So what do you wanna do, Pah?" Manjiro asked Pah-chin. "We gonna fight?"

"They're two generations above our gang." Pah-chin hesitated, keeping his head slumped down. "Toman's not gonna walk away unscathed. I'd end up making trouble for all of you guys. But I'm so pissed off, Mikey..."

"That's not what I asked. Are we gonna fight, or what?" Manjiro questioned again.

"I wanna fight! I wanna murder all those sons of bitches!" Pah-chin immediately confessed on the spot, tears whelming the corners of his eyes.

"Yeah, I figured." Manjiro stated before looking back at everyone in Toman with a huge smirk on his face. "Anyone here thinks that Pah's bud getting his ass kicked is too much trouble to deal with? Anyone scared because Pah's bud got beat up?" 

Nobody said anything back. Only smiles and smirks started to form on the faces of the admins and the members upon hearing Manjiro's words. 

"See? There's no one! We're gonna crush Moebius!!" Manjiro exclaimed, hyping up the crowd as Toman cheered together, each raising up a fist, all determined to get the job done, for the sake of their fallen comrade. "August 3rd! The Musashi Festival is where it's all gonna go down!" 

At that moment, seeing Manjiro like this reminded me of Shinichiro for some reason. Sure both the brothers were completely opposite of one another if we compared their personalities, but when it came to their leadership qualities or leading their gangs, they were both so pretty much alike. Two years back, Toman was formed to mainly protect Kazutora and to bring down the 9th Generation Black Dragons. And ever since they won that fight, Toman expanded. It prospered. It began to rule Shibuya in totality. If Manjiro was infamous before, now his name alone could send people running away and never looking back. That was the power that Manjiro Sano held - the Invincible Mikey. 

After the meeting came to an end, Manjiro, Emma, and I went back home together and when I meant home, I meant the Sano residence; the place where I had been living for almost 8 years now. Later after taking a shower and eating some dinner, I headed back straight to my bedroom to complete my homework before I could go to bed. Toman was important to me, but so was my education. Unlike others, I wanted to do my best at school and on tests. There was no way in hell I would want to fail and demolish my future in my own hands. I had my priorities checked and so that's why, no matter what happened, at the end of the day, I would always do my homework and assignments on time and study properly on regular basis. 

As I was studying in my room at my table, Manjiro was lying down on my bed on his back while hugging my pillow tight on his chest. 

"Some guy named Tetta Kisaki approached me the other day, Nana-chin." Manjiro suddenly spoke up. 

Raising an eyebrow, I looked over at him on my shoulder with curiosity. 

"Oh? Who's that? Someone you're familiar with?" I asked. 

"No, I don't know him. He just came out of the blue and told me that he wanted to join Toman..." he replied and this caused me to furrow my eyebrows in confusion. 

"Okay... So, then what? We can't just take anyone in our gang, whoever comes to us like that." I pointed out before turning around and looking back at my books again. "We don't even know who and what that guy is. Is he a part of any gang or something?" 

"Didn't mention any..." Manjiro responded back with a shrug. 

"If he ever comes to you again, just don't accept his request. Toman has already become a huge gang anyway." 

"But, you know... I want to make Toman even bigger and stronger... That's my dream, Nana-chin." 

"The bigger and stronger it gets, the more conflicts will occur within the team, Manjiro. Ego, power, envy, and greed - things like these will circulate around even more within the gang and will create disputes among the gang members. Some might even turn their back on Toman and betray the team. Some might misuse the power for their own selfishness like what Kiyomasa did and by selfishness, I mean from selling things like drugs and weapons to committing any sorts of crimes like underground money lending, gambling, illegal casinos, prostitution, murder, fraud, and whatnot. You never know what might happen. Sure you have the 5th Division Captain and Vice-Captain to sniff out the traitors and wrongdoers, but even so... Just don't do anything hasty under any pressure or circumstances, that's all I have to say to you..." 

Silence filled the room for a good amount of time before Manjiro let out a soft, airy chuckle in response. 

"I'm so glad to have you in my life, Nana-chin... Thank you..." he stated with a smile, nuzzling his face into my pillow before taking a deep breath. "Please never leave my side, Nana-chin... Ever..."

"I promised you that a long time ago, remember?" I replied, smiling as well. "And I'll keep my words, Manjiro." 

A promise that didn't break till this day. A promise that I made the day his mother passed away. 

~~~~~

3rd August 2005

"I... can't face the others." Peh-yan hesitated.

"Peh-yan, we all get that you did what you did for Pah-chin's sake." Mitsuya chimed in with a serious tone and Peh-yan glanced over at him. "But Peh-yan, the one who was thinking the most about Pah-chin was Draken. From that day on, Draken went with Pah-chin's parents to go visit him every single day... He knew that only relatives could actually see him, but he'd bring a gift, then he'd wait outside the whole time. That's the guy you tried to kill."

Peh-yan had never known about this. Had he did, he wouldn't have gone through with the betrayal.

"Draken..." He muttered out, breathlessly.

"You'd better apologize..." Mitsuya advised. "To Draken-kun, to Pah-chin...to everyone."

"Yeah..." Peh-yan replied, tears rolling down his cheeks.

He knew that the journey of redemption was long, but it wasn't impossible. The fact that he was forgiven anyway after ratting out his whole crew to another gang was a blessing itself.

"Welcome back, Peh-yan." Mitsuya greeted him, ending the conversation so that he could head his way out.

Those words had made Peh-yan cry tears of joy then and there. Moments like these had reminded him why he loved Toman so much. Takemichi followed Mitsuya and walked away from the spot as well and it was now just me and Peh-yan standing in the waiting room. 

"I was the one who told Ken-chan not to bring Pah out of jail." I finally spoke up and Peh-yan looked over at me with teary eyes. "And it's because of different reasons - Pah wanted to turn himself in to the police and you know that too. You were there when Pah told us that, meaning Pah knows what he did was wrong. Stabbing Osanai on the back when the man was already defeated and was unconscious... what Pah did was completely uncalled for. He shouldn't have done that and you know it. Also, I wanted Pah to learn from his mistakes so that he won't repeat the same actions again in the future. And if learning from mistakes means he has to stay in jail for a year then so be it. I never had bad intentions for Pah. I want him to grow as a better person. I hope you understand now what I'm trying to say, Peh..." 

Sniffling and trying to hold back more tears, Peh slightly shook his head at me. 

"I-I-I understand now, N-Nana-chan..." he cried out, looking down in shame and guilt and my gaze on him softened even more. 

I let out another sigh and gave a pat on his shoulder before finally walking away from there and heading outside to find Manjiro. As I wandered around the hospital, searching for Manjiro, I entered a pathway that was in the middle of a courtyard, connected to the other side of the building. I immediately halted myself on the spot when I noticed Manjiro at the corner of the yard. It seemed like he was in his own daze. I watched him slide down the wall he was leaning on until he reached the ground. And that was when his tears finally started to fall from his eyes. 

"Thank goodness... Ken-chin..." Manjiro softly cried out, cupping a hand over his eyes, his voice distorted from the tears that whelmed his eyes. 

And seeing him cry like this brought back sad memories once again. The time when Mrs. Sano passed away, the time when Shinichiro passed away, every single time Manjiro walked away from everyone else and shed his tears alone, all by himself. He hated to cry in front of others. He hated to show his weakness to others. He wanted to appear strong as always. Like he did just now. Manjiro sobbed quietly, conveying the fear he had resisted back in the waiting room. In his point of view, if anyone saw him so vulnerable, they might question if he really was the commander of a notable biker gang.

"Don't make me worry like that, you asshole..." Manjiro mumbled to himself, slumping his head down, his hand secured over his forehead so that his hair wouldn't get caught in his eyes. 

Of course, Manjiro was worried - from the very moment when he saw Draken wounded and bloodied back at the Musashi Shrine, up until a few minutes ago. He was anxious the entire time. He lost his mother when he was around 8 years. He lost Shinichiro just a few days before his 13th birthday. The last thing he wanted was to lose Draken as well, his best friend. I then took in a deep breath and approached the Sano boy. He didn’t seem to notice the sound of my footsteps and continued to look down. I kneeled down on the ground in front of him and patted his hair, wanting him to lift his head up. 

"Nana-chin...?" Manjiro mumbled out, finally looking up at me with tears in his eyes. 

"You know you can cry in front of us without any hesitation..." I stated in a gentle tone, wiping the tears that were staining his face. "Showcasing sadness and anxiousness, shedding tears of joy and sorrow, crying out loud in pain, anger or in utter happiness... All of these are natural human emotions, Manjiro. It's okay to cry out loud. It's okay to show sadness and disappointment if you get hurt or in pain. It's okay if you lean onto someone close to you for support whenever you're feeling down. It's okay to show your vulnerable side to the people you trust. It's okay to feel and be human every once in a while..."

Manjiro bit his bottom lip at my words and sniffled, silently listening to my every word without uttering anything himself. Without a second thought, I gently wrapped my arms around the Sano boy and pulled him into my warm embrace, resting his head on my shoulder. Manjiro also hugged me back, tightening his grip on me while I softly rubbed his back with my hand to calm him down, reassuring him that everything was going to be okay and that I was there for him. 

"You did the same thing when Aunty and Shin-chan passed away, you know... Trying to appear strong in front of others, not shedding your tears to show your weakness and vulnerability... Manjiro, it's okay if you're not feeling strong every single time. It's okay to be weak, to feel weak. It's okay to cry. You don't have to burden yourself with every load that's thrown at you. You know I'm here for you... I promised my support to you for eternity the day Aunty passed away. You can lean on me whenever you feel like it, cry on my shoulder when you're sad, lonely, and depressed... I'm here for you, Manjiro, always and forever..."

Manjiro's arms tightened around my waist even more and brought me closer to his chest where I could hear his frantic heartbeat calming down a bit. 

"Thank you, Nana-chin, for everything..."

~~~~~

4th November 2005

The moment my brownish-amber eyes opened and the white ceiling of the hospital room came into my view, the pain in my abdomen slowly began to pulse throughout my entire body. I could feel the pain throbbing, and all I could do was just stay down on the hospital bed, all still and motionless. From the daylight coming out of my window, I was able to deduce that the time of the day was either the morning or the afternoon. As much as I wanted to do it, I didn't even dare to attempt to get up from the bed just in sheer fright that I might make the pain even worse than it already was. 

"Ah… I want to go home..." I let out a heavy sigh tiredly thinking about what went down on 31st October. "I hope Keisuke and the others are okay..."

"Nana?! Are you awake?” a familiar feminine voice suddenly spoke up in a concerned yet relieved tone and this caused me to turn my head around to see the certain individual standing in the doorway; it was Emma. 

“Hey, Emma..." I softly greeted her with a smile as she quickly walked over to my side with a bag in her hand. "Just now… I woke up. What time is it?”

“November 4, 11:50 AM..." Emma responded back before staring up from her phone screen. "You've been asleep for a while now. I'm glad you're okay. When I got the call that you were in the hospital, I dropped everything and came here to see you..." 

"Oh? Is that mean you were here with me the entire time then?" I asked, tilting my head to the side. 

"Of course I was! There's no way in hell I could leave you here all by yourself after knowing that you got stabbed!" Emma huffed as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Grandpa was also worried about you, you know. Every day he dropped by to visit you but you were still unconscious back then..."

“Is that so, huh...? Then I need to apologize to Gramps for making him worried sick..." I muttered and Emma chuckled at me in response. 

"Just get well fast and come back home as soon as possible. That would be enough for Grandpa as an apology..." she stated before setting the bag down on a chair beside my bed. "I left about half an hour ago to get some spare clothes for you..." 

"Thank you, Emma." I expressed my gratitude with a smile.

"Oh, wait! Hold on! Let me call a doctor!" she squeaked out before dashing out of the room. "I’ll be back!" 

And with that, Emma left the room and I was left alone once again. Right now, I was more awake this time so I was able to actually examine the room I was in. It was a small private room, just big enough to fit the bed and a sink. On the bedside table, were two vases of red roses and a few cards and letters. Curiosity got the best of me so I reached out to one of them and brought it to my face. 

Dear Nana, 

I don't know where to start to be honest. Well, let me start from the very beginning then... Nana, I'm sorry that you got hurt because of me. You may not know, but it was my ultimate mission to keep you safe and protected from every danger possible, especially from Kisaki, but I failed miserably at the very end. You took that deadly stab from Kazutora all to protect me and I don't know what to feel at this moment other than shame and guilt. I'm so so sorry, Nana... Please forgive me if it's possible. I know my words of apology won't be enough, so I'm making some plans for us alone. Get better soon so we can go back to school together. When you wake up, I promise I’ll treat you to some cakes, ice creams, and peyoung yakisoba! Everything's on me, so let's make it a date, okay? See you soon and I love you. 

Yours ever, 

Keisuke. 

"Seriously, Keisuke..." I sighed and shook my head in disbelief. "You shouldn't feel this way. After all, we were in this together... It wasn't your fault that Kazutora tried to stab and I chose to save your life... You sure are an idiot, aren't you, Keisuke...?" 

While staring down at his letter, I mentally made a note to make sure to reassure him that I was okay and that he must not feel guilty for anything. Whatever happened to me on the day of Bloody Halloween, it wasn't anyone's fault other than Kisaki and Kazutora's. So Keisuke shouldn't punish himself for me getting stabbed or anything else. But above all, the fact remained that Keisuke was still alive and breathing made me feel all happy and relieved once again. After that, I started to go through all the other cards and letters on the bedside table, and funny enough, all of them were from Keisuke himself. 

Ever since we were kids, Keisuke always had a problem of understanding and learning the kanji words and because he was a slow learner, I could still remember him having difficulty keeping up with the rest of the students in the class. So, to help him learn the language, back in elementary school, I once suggested to him that we should write letters to each other in pure Japanese language every single day. In short, it was my easy way and method of helping Keisuke to learn the words and language. Keisuke who was really eager to learn and improve back then eventually agreed to take help from me and from then on we started to write letters to each other on daily basis to the point where it became a sacred habit and ritual just for the two of us - a special thing between me and Keisuke that we only shared with one another and no one else. The letters we wrote to each other weren't anything special to be honest, just simple words and info on our day-to-day life or shared stories if anything interesting or unusual happened on a specific day. Sure the letters and their words were simple and childish but to us, the connection and sentiment we shared through them were pure and genuine. 

"Osaki-san, I’m glad to see that you're awake." 

An unfamiliar masculine voice spoke up and my train of thoughts came to a stop before noticing the doctor walking into the room with Emma behind him.

“How are you feeling right now?” the doctor asked.

"Just a bit of pain here and there… but I think I’m okay...” I replied and he nodded his head at me in response. 

The doctor then wrote a few things down and did what he needed to do. He then told me the estimated date I was going to be discharged was in a week which wasn't too bad in my opinion. And then a while later, he left the room and said that I should continue to rest up. 

"Where's Manjiro and the others? How's Keisuke?" I asked Emma while she took a seat on a chair beside my bed and started to peel oranges and apples for me. 

"Everyone's okay so you don't have to worry about them too much for now. Mikey and Baji came by to visit you almost every day when you were still unconscious... Also, Baji's the one who brought those red roses for you if you're curious to know who're they from..." Emma informed, pointing at those two vases on the bedside table and I slowly nodded my head in understanding. 

"Are they coming by today as well?" I asked and Emma shrugged her shoulders in response. 

"Don't know..." she replied nonchalantly.

But surprisingly enough, both Manjiro and Keisuke did drop by to visit me at the hospital that day.

"Nana-chin!!" Manjiro yelled out as he walked through the door, making Keisuke smack the blonde boy on the head, cursing at him for yelling in a hospital.

"Don't yell and run around like a four-year-old, you friggin moron!" Keisuke snapped with a scowling face. 

"Ow! Baji, what the hell!" Manjiro pouted at him with a frown and their small banter brought a smile to my face.

"Keisuke, Manjiro... great to see you guys again." I greeted them with a bright grin. "Thanks for coming by again." 

And my words immediately wiped the frown away from Manjiro's face which then was replaced by a big smile before he jumped and glommed onto my frame, making me fall back-first onto the hospital bed and surely enough, his actions didn't fail to annoy Keisuke to no extent once again.

"Oi, you little shit!! Stop annoying her!!" Keisuke barked out again as the ravenette boy tried to pry Manjiro off of me, but the boy was clinging onto me like a leech.

At some point, Keisuke decided to give up on detaching Manjiro from me and just let him be.

"How have you been, Nana?" Keisuke asked, looking all happy and relieved as he took a seat on the chair beside the bed, his voice kind and soft, quite characteristic whenever he spoke to me. 

"I'm doing better than before, thanks for asking..." I replied with a smile while running a hand through Manjiro's blonde hair. "I assume you guys have been doing well too?" 

"Yep, peachy!" Keisuke smiled back, leaning back into the chair he was seated on. 

"And you, Manjiro? What about you-" I looked over at the said boy and was about to ask a question but then suddenly he cut me off by moving away from my body and looking into my eyes with his lifeless ones. 

"Nana-chin..." Manjiro began with a smile, still holding onto my hands but stopped clinging to my frame. "You know when you got stabbed... I was so scared... so, so scared... I was so afraid that my fear turned into anger..." 

Manjiro then broke eye contact with me and looked down at our interjoined hands while Keisuke and I stared at him with nothing but concern in our eyes.

"And before I knew it... I was on the verge of killing Kazutora..." Manjiro continued while playing around with my fingers. "But for some reason, I don't feel guilty, I don't feel guilty at all..." 

"Manjiro..." I trailed off in concern yet confusion, not knowing what to say to this. 

He didn't feel guilty for almost trying to Kazutora? I mean what the hell? 

I know it was Kazutora's fault and everything... but still though... 

"Nana-chin..." Manjiro called out as his voice cracked in the end before raising his head slightly to peer at me through his messy blonde locks, his grip on my hand tightened even more. "Don't ever leave me, please..."

At that moment, Manjiro looked like a lost child, helplessly finding for anyone to help him.

"I can't let you leave, not like Shinichiro-Nii..." he went on, his voice quivering and this caused me to wrap my arms around him, pulling him into a bear hug. "I-I think I'll kill everyone if you do... I'm gonna hurt everyone if you leave me, so don't do it, okay?" 

Never in millions of years had I thought of expecting such a confession from Manjiro. For some reason, hearing his words, I wanted to say something, anything. The second I saw his shaking form, shivering like a leaf, all I could do was pull him even closer to my body and hold him tightly into my arms. Even though tears didn't form in his eyes, he was still on the verge of breaking down at any second now. Like the rest of us, Manjiro was a 15-year-old kid, still very young to tolerate such pain and agony. And the same went for everyone else, including Keisuke as well who was also there with us in the room. I closed my eyes and held onto Manjiro, letting him rest his head on my chest and listen to my heartbeat, a constant reminder that I still hadn't left him yet. 

"I would never leave you, Manjiro... I'll always be here for you and everyone else, so don't worry about it, okay?" I stated in a soft tone, running my hands gently on his back while Keisuke silently watched us from his seat. 

To read the whole fanfic, pls go and check it on -

Quotev - https://www.quotev.com/story/15038558/A-Condition-Called-Love-Tokyo-Revengers

Wattpad - https://www.wattpad.com/story/316764531-a-condition-called-love-tokyo-revengers

[bellybiologist]

September 2023 Patreon Announcements

Alright, September! Things are going RELATIVELY smoothly so far, so I'm just hoping that trend continues for the next... I dunno 3 years or something. 😏 Besides some back pains, feeling good though!

Commissions are still open! And will remain open until I state otherwise. The wait list is massive, but alas! I need the money to hit the minimum milestone's to stay afloat.

September's Poll will be going up shortly, and this month's Theme is time shenanigans, with the 3 top winners getting a single stage fill. More will be explained in the poll post.

May 2023's fills will be going into the Access to the Past tiers!

September 2021's fills will be free to view! As per usual, I'll bulk upload them onto my drive and pixiv, and spread them out over the course of the week on tumblr and discord (only notification of the uploads to the drive will go up on twitter/X site).

In regards to when things become free to view, I think I will start posting pieces that turn one year old as well! So after September 2021's pieces go up, I'll start posting September 2022's, since this next year will have seen a big jump in support.

For Reward Requests submissions I draw when we hit milestones: Any that have yet to be drawn will remain in the pool. Going forward, I will keep track of which ones are suggestions from a commission/donation, and which ones are patron suggestions. 

Ones attached to a commission order or donation will stay in the pool indefinitely! However, ones given by patrons will have a lifespan of two months before I remove them, (I will put up a new request post every month to collect them.)

On the flipside! Patrons will be allowed to submit a new suggestion every month, meaning they'll have a max of 2 in the pool at any given time. When one expires, there's nothing stopping them from just re-suggesting it.

This way, I can keep adding new requests while ALSO making sure it the list doesn't get too bloated!

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And as always, thanks to everyone for the support! I'm always open to feedback/suggestions,

[crystalitecloudie]

Alexandria's Genesis has been dubbed the "Mary Sue Mutation". But... what if we made it less Mary Sue-like?

Firstly, we'll keep the purple eyes. That's kinda what makes Alexandra's Genesis so special. The eyes would still be born a light grey at birth, and would turn darker at about six months. Instead though, I would say the eyes stay this way, and don't change further during puberty. If you have blue-violet eyes, you get those at around 1 year old. That's it. No extra steps.

Impaired sight. The pigment in the eyes is being altered in an extremely "uncommon" way. Perfect vision is a no-go. And adding onto the previous number, maybe the amount of vision impairment depends on the shade of the eye color. The darker the shade, the better the eyesight.

I'd say that with this mutation, it should increase your chances of being infertile. You would have a 50/50 chance of getting a period, and if you didn't get one by age 16 (just to be safe), you were probably infertile. Having no period should come with a cost. And just to add extra burn, if you do get a period, it's heavy bleeding, and there is about 35 days in between each period. This would indicate some sort of menstrual issue, that in this case, is genetic and incurable.

Body hair (missing pubic hair, armpit hair, etc., but still having hair on your head and eyebrows). This simply wouldn't work. One alternative is having no hair at all, which would mean wearing a wig and putting on fake eyebrows. Haley Mermaid on TikTok (not sure if that's her actual name, but she's a Mermaid performer) does not have eyebrows, and cannot grow them. I do not remember what condition gave her that, but it is possible to fake eyebrows. Faking eyelashes is easy enough. The other alternative to this is having all hair like normal, and no hair loss. Honestly, I'm not sure which one to choose. Maybe the option that occurs depends on number three, and whether or not they have a period. If they do have a period, they would have hair, and if they don't, they don't. Or maybe a swapping of those alternatives. Alexandra's Genesis has the potential to be a mutation with a spectrum, like how Autism has a spectrum.

Hair color is usually dark brown or black, but I would say that it should be lighter. Not platinum blonde like those with Albinism, but still lighter -- pale browns and reds, crispy blondes, etc. Maybe even unnatural colors, like a light lavender to compliment the eyes. I know I'm trying to fix this disease, but especially in a fantasy setting, unrealistic hair colors would work fine.

The immune system??? Yikes?? I'd say a better immune system is fine, but not completely immune to every disease. Also, maybe to tack on a disadvantage, vaccines not working on them. If their immune systems are better than other humans, vaccines realistically would not work on them. So when they do get sick with a more serious disease, it won't kill them like it normally would, but they can get sick and debilitated.

Appearing young forever, and living an about 170 lifespan screams Mary Sue. No. I'd say they can keep their young appearance, but maybe they die faster than other humans (like around their 50s), for that angsty touch. Or the reverse, if you'd like. In the reverse's case, they would like their abnormally long lifespan, but the aging process would last across that time evenly. Their skin would probably start showing noticable signs of aging around 60 years old. Either of these alternatives work.

Metabolism -- we can keep this mutation having a permanently high metabolism, but as someone who does have a high metabolism, there is a cost. They would need to eat a lot, which can get costly very quickly. And if they don't, they will end up small in size... not that Mary Sues see that as a bad thing. I personally am pretty small because of this, and Depression lessens my appetite. But having a body that fits Euro-American beauty standards has to have a cost. This high metabolism would also probably result in malnourishment.

Shimmering skin isn't real. Nope. Or resisting tanning and burning. I'd say that with Alexandria's Genesis, they can come in all skin colors/shades, not just "white". And their skin should just act like a normal human's, where darker tones resist tanning and sunburns better than lighter ones. That's it.

Speaking of skin tones, the mutation should be "mainly" found in any ethnicity. Gender does play a role in genetics for mutations like this, so it being more common in girls is actually realistic... surprisingly. But the whole ethnicity thing doesn't work well, especially considering it "originated" in Egypt.

That's about it. Lemme know if you have any comments on this! (Sorry the numbers are off)

[bluegekk0]

hello, just spent half the day scrolling through your feral pk au and i adore it to bits. now, question, since i don't exactly recall it being mentioned: between all the wear and tear from regular use + the constant washing from how much dirt and blood gets in it while hunting, how is pk's cloak even still holding up after all this time? i'd imagine holly'd repair it if asked, but that's after they get their prosthetic. in the meantime, how on earth is it still relatively intact? or does pk have to replace it every so often?

hi! really happy to hear that you enjoy it! <3

i have thought about this before, it's part of the reason why over time i added the extra lines on it whenever i draw it, to signify wear. now, i always imagined it to be made from quite strong material, it's how it was able to remain practically untouched during his hibernation, unlike his robes which degraded rather quickly in comparison

but you are correct, it's also been through a lot after he woke up from the hibernation, so it would be a bit ridiculous that it still looks so intact after all of that with no explanation. i think there's two factors that play a role in this

first, i like to think that after moving to dirtmouth, he started leaving the cloak at home while he goes hunting. since he now has a proper place to stay, he doesn't have to worry about losing it. on top of that, it not only makes running around greenpath easier, but also saves him from having to wash the blood and dirt afterwards. does that mean he's practically naked while running after tiktiks and other critters? yeah, but considering he rips them to bits and eats them raw like an animal, i think the lack of clothes is the least of his concerns here hahaha

the second part to this is hornet. i imagine she's quite skilled at repairing clothes, she did make her new outfit basically from scratch after all. and while their relationship at first was a bit rocky, i do think she would have nothing against fixing any tears in fpk's cloak. of course, he never wants to bother her and thus he wouldn't ask directly, so i can see this as something she does to show that she cares about him (instead of, you know, actually saying it lol). her learned skills and her silk powers would be the reason why you can't see any patches on the cloak, i imagine she can do a pretty good job at making it subtle but effective. it's how she was able to keep her old cloak in top shape for so many years, that is until it was so torn that she decided it would be best to just make a new one

only wearing it at home does increase its lifespan, but of course, over time, the cloak would degrade more and more, so i do think that at one point it has to be replaced. since most of my au storyline takes place over the first few years after fpk's return, i don't think it's something i have to worry about at this very moment. still, it's fun to imagine. would the new cloak be made to resemble the old one? or would he get a whole new outfit like hornet did? it could make for a fun drawing idea...