#every time i feel rushed for whatever reason to finish this thing i'm like. but it will keep me busy until s3

[blairamok]

i think whatever i did to my neck is finally giving way, and hopefully i can finish editing this chap and get it posted soon, just in time for worlds this week!!

[nikitaxlee]

"𝖒𝖞 𝖐𝖎𝖓𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊"

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ᴊᴀᴋᴇ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ₊˙♡﹗˚ ༘

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: ᴀɴɢsᴛ, sᴜɪᴄ!ᴅᴇ, ᴄʜᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ, ᴛᴏxɪᴄ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘ, ɪɴᴛᴇɴsᴇ sᴄᴇɴᴇs, ɢᴏʀᴇ.

𝘴𝘺𝘯𝘰𝘱𝘴𝘪𝘴: 𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘫𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘣𝘺 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥, 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭, 𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘨𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘑𝘢𝘬𝘦. ₊˙♡﹗˚ ༘

ᴍᴜsɪᴄ: ᴀ ʙᴏʏ ɪs ᴀ ɢᴜɴ*- ᴛʏʟᴇʀ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛᴏʀ

ᴘᴜᴘᴘᴇᴛ - ᴛʏʟᴇʀ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛᴏʀ

ᴛᴀɢs: @hwanchaesong here you are babes😊

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letter from reader

I didn't know why I so badly wanted him to go away that first time he talked to me. Maybe it was the way he always looked at me like one looks at a meal. Knowing he'll enjoy it in the moment but in the end he'll need a new meal preferably different than the one he had the night before, whatever the reason was, I was right to have wanted him gone. A small roadblock in my life. The night I caught him was the night I died. The day that car was speeding faster and faster until it hit that tree, figuratively and literally. That was the best way to describe me and Jakes relationship. Exhilerating in the moment but doomed from the start. A fucking trainwreck. Maybe that was why I loved him. Still do love him. God did I love every intoxicating moment of bittersweet hapiness. A paradox isn't it? A girl who loved and a boy who didn't. Perfect fucking match.

Jake, my love, why didn't you love me? I gave you everything and more. I wanted the kind of love you have for soccer, for layla, and you're stupid fucking PC that you would fucking waste time on. You know what they all had in common? You all loved them unconditionally. I. Gave. You. Everything. And as you read this I am giving you my life. Because, Jake, love, this is the last thing I do to prove I love you, to prove I can't live without you. God, even if you never loved me. As long as you were there... Please, my love, come visit me when I'm gone, at least once. I want you to love me when I'm gone, but I don't think that will happen. So this is where I say goodbye Jake, my pretty boy. Give Layla extra kisses for me. I love you.

---

1:02 A.M

When Jake made his way to the kitchen, unfamiliar body still tangled in his sheets, he didn't feel anything but numb. The look in your eyes as you opened the door to see him 8 inches deep in someone that wasn't you. In the moment it gave him this sick satisfaction of seeing you hurt. But he couldn't help but wonder if he had perhaps taken this game he played a little to far. Although the two of you weren't necessarily dating, you had a somewhat exclusive relationship. And he loved seeing the tears well in your eyes as he hurt you intentionally just to see run back to him. This wasn't the first time he had called you over here when he had a girl over. he loved seeing you break little by little. In his own sick world, he thought it would cause you to stay by his side.

The floorboards creaked as he made his way down the stairs and into the kitchen to grab some food. He would have to kick the girl out of his bed before you came back in about an hour he guessed. The second he stepped into the kitchen a feeling of dread rushed over him. He didn't notice anything amiss in the kitchen. Except the envelop sitting on the counter with the lighter he gave you for your birthday. The one thing you had from him. You had never reacted this way, usually you would just send him a text letting him know when you'd be back and to text you when he was done. As he pocketed the lighter and opened the letter he noticed the rushed handwriting right away, with bits scribbled out. He started reading and with each word his heart dropped. Each sentence was a stab in the heart. When he moved onto the next paragraph he started connecting the dots on what you were about to do. He didn't even finish the second paragraph before he was in his car.

1:10 A.M

"Fuck, Fuck, FUCK." He screamed. This could not be happening to him. Contrary to popluar belief, he really did love you, he just had a fucked up way of showing it. His tears streamed down his face as he sped to your house. "Y/N I swear to god, please, please, hold on for me baby, I'm so fucking sorry." he was going at least 15 over the limit right now. He entered the bridge before getting on the highway, and that was when he noticed the crowd of first responders on the highway. He was no longer crying just pure terror overcame him as he recognized the car lodged in the tree. The entire 3 lanes were blocked off but he still pulled up to the site. "Baby, baby, no no no NO" He quickly hopped out his car as his phone blew up with texts from the members;

Jay: JAKE, TELL ME THAT ISN'T Y/N'S CAR ON THE NEWS RN

Jungwon: oh god

Ni-Ki: call us now

10 new messages

12:25 A.M

Y/N: Hey Jake, js letting you know I'm going to be running a bit late, I'm picking up some food on the way over, wanna watch a movie? :)

12:36

Y/N: Omw, i picked up sushi!

Y/N: Is the key in the usual spot?

He felt like throwing up as his vision cleared and saw you laying there on the concrete paramedics rushing around you as others are currently performing CPR on you. For some reason he couldn't bring himself to run for you, just slowly shuffling towards the scene. He felt like he had just died and started seeing it all in 3rd person, him slowly walking towards you, the paramedics. Then he was running, almost reaching you but not before the police pulled him back.

"HEY THIS IS A SCE-" "THAT'S MY FUCKING GIRLFRIEND!" He said as he dropped to his knees and cried.

The policeman just held him back as he thrashed and watched as the paramedics put the white sheet over you and spoke.

"Time of death 1:46, died due to imapct to the head flying through the windshield, suspected suicide due to last text messages to family."

'No, no, she can't be-" he sputtered and hyperventilated.

"Ch-check again" he said to no one in particular.

The letter you left crushed in his hand.

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A/N: Moral of the story don't take your roomates cinnabon or it's on sight. One ❤️= One Cinnabon for me🥹₊˙♡﹗˚ ༘

[p1nkshield]

Estranged Uncle Au Part 3!

Jazz sat down with Danny while Clark was finishing up dinner.

“Maybe we can just tell him and he can like adult his way out of it? He is a grown man.”

Jazz and Danny looked to Clark as he seasoned the stew he was making, he turned around, kitten sneezed into his elbow and said. “Gosh! Pepper can really get you! Who are you talking about? Is anyone in trouble?”

Jazz and Danny shared a look. This guy couldn’t hurt a fly if he wanted to.

“We have to tell him Danny.”

“Okay, fine! We looked into Bru-” Danny began, but was interrupted by Clark’s phone ringing.

“Hello? … I’m on my way.” There was a noticeable change in Clark’s demeanor. “Can this wait? I uh.. have to cover one of Bruce’s galas!” Clark really does hate lying.

“I haven’t heard word of Bruce throwing another gala today.” Jazz stated in the same tone she would question Danny when he would poorly lie to her.

“It’s uh last minute! Exclusive! All the more reason to to report about it!” Clark said as he rushed out the door. "The stew will be done in about fifteen minutes!"

Before either of them could do anything Clark was already gone.

"He clearly doesn’t know how to uphold his boundaries! Its like Bruce says jump and Clark says how high! What is he making him do? Why does he feel the need to lie to us?" Jazz was suddenly so worried about an uncle she didn’t know she had like a week ago.

"He's not telling us because were just kids. I don’t know if he really has anyone to turn to but he doesn’t want to worry us. We have to help him."

Clark finished thwarting another one of Lex's plans with Bruce.

"Bats can I talk to you for a second?"

"hn?"

"You know the two teens staying at my home for the time being?"

"Jazmine and Daniel Fenton. Your niece and nephew correct?"

"...yeah they didn’t get the best impression of Bruce Wayne."

"How so?"

"I overheard that they think that Bruce Wayne is a creepy billionaire who isn't who he says he is. They also are the children of my sister who is a scientist of questionable ethics from last I heard."

Bruce cannot have a repeat Tim situation.

"Perhaps Bruce could pay them another visit to smooth things over?"

"That is some really good advice! I'll ask him if he can come over tomorrow." Clark asked facetiously

"I think he can make it. Maybe he could bring some of his kids in order to help them feel more at ease with people their age?"

"That sounds like a great idea."

It was not a great idea.

Danny was Bristling like a cat at Bruce and Jazz had a sour look on her face.

Almost every 'i'm harmless' stop was pulled. Bruce tripped on his way in, and called the kids he brought by their cutest of pet names. Bruce decided to bring Dick, Jason and Timothy. Dick pulled dazzling smiles and showed off his acrobatics in an attempt to entertain. This was met with polite but paltry claps. Jason who had been bribed to be on his best behavior talked at length with Jazz about classic authors and their best works. This headway was halted when Bruce called him Jaylad and Jason took it as a queue to do the who "Dad stawwwp!" embarrassed teenager routine. Jazz responded by becoming pale for a moment and being less receptive to whatever Jason was saying.

Tim was a disaster.

At first he was doing great bringing out all of his gala training. He even noticed Danny wasn't feeling the formalities he dropped them. It was working! Then he fell asleep. Into the snacks that were put out.

"Maybe we should go! It’s already pretty late, and we wouldn’t want to overstay our welcome." Bruce said still smiling as he wiped salsa off of the cheek of a blearily blinking Tim.

"Wha? What happened?" Tim said as he was ushered out of the door.

"You fell asleep idiot!"

"I did!?!"

Clark, Danny and Jazz heard them bicker on their way to the car. I would have been endearing if Clark wasn’t worried sick and Jazz and Danny weren’t convinced that they were in the family business of selling weapons to villains.

"So what do you think?"

"The eldest seems sleazy, the Second seemed nice but gave me a bad vibe and the youngest felt like he was doing everything he can to get Danny to like him and then passed out." Jazz listed.

"Not to mention they all seemed like they were doing everything they could to get us on their good side!" Danny added.

This is not good! Why do they hate him so much? What had Bruce done that was so off-putting?

"Uncle Clark, we need you to sit down."

What is this now? Clark let himself be pushed into a chair. Isn’t this what people do when they say something that might make them pass out?

"We have reason to believe that Bruce Wayne is a weapons dealer."

Bruce? A weapons dealer?

"Danny please show him the evidence."

Evidence?

Danny then showed Clark the bits and pieces of confidential information.

Clark sat there taking it all in.

"We think that you may be in danger." Jazz said gently.

Him, danger?

"We keep trying to hack him but it's not really working."

"YOU HACKED HIM?!"

"We weren’t traced." Jazz soothed.

"We can get you out of this Uncle Clark." Danny said with much more assurance that his appearance can promise.

"I don't think you understand!" Clark began "I'm not in danger I can't be in danger!"

"Uncle Clark, anyone can be in danger."

Clark's head was spinning.

How was he going to convince two headstrong teens that he wasn't under the thumb of an evil billionaire with out telling them he's Superman?

[echo-rambles]

somewhere among the pines

words: 4,807 tags: witch!reader, werewolf!chan, ghost!seungmin and roommate!seungmin. fluff. mentions of an injury. vague allusions to soulmatism, if you squint and believe real hard. mentions of magic. notes: I finished it in time! I feel like there are bits where you can tell I rushed, but overall I'm very happy with it. this is also the longest reader insert I've ever written, so I hope you enjoy! Happy Halloween! [ao3 link]

-:･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡ ･ﾟ✧:･.:-

The veil between worlds is thin this time of year. You know this to be true; a fact of your world that you learned when you were very young. 

Every October, the veil begins to thin. Odd things happen all year around, especially for someone like you, but the month of October brings with it a rise of the unexplainable. Or, perhaps unexplainable isn’t the correct word, since you’re very good at explaining the weird and unknown. 

This is a very long explanation for the fact that your roommate and possibly the best friend you’ve ever had, is incredibly corporeal in the days leading up to All Hallow’s Eve. What’s it say about you that you consider a ghost to be your best friend? That’s honestly a can of worms you don’t really want to open right now. 

Normally, your very dead and very spectral friend spends most of the calendar year as a phantom entity in your home. He can speak to you and possibly move small objects around if he concentrates. But for the most part he’s a ghost.

October is his favorite time of year. Yours too, for completely different reasons, but you can’t deny that you also find great joy in watching Seungmin move everything he can get his hands on simply because he can.

It also means the pranks increase tenfold, because now he’s tangible and can do so many more things. He has to get it all in before November rolls back around, severing the strong connection to the worlds beyond. 

“I think your neighbor is weird.” Seungmin says, from his spot by your kitchen window.

He’s wearing a horrendously large sweater that he must have found at the back of your closet, and it almost swallows him whole. Completely covering the shorts he constantly wears. 

He’s also holding your favorite mug. It’s empty, but he’s still clutching it to his chest as if he’s ready at any moment to sip at his morning coffee. You decide to let him have this, knowing that he only truly gets to experience big sweaters and mugs in his hands once a year. 

“Because you’re so normal.”

“I am.” He defends, immediately, glaring at you. “I was. ”

“You were the most normal boy in the orphanage?”

“It was a university for gifted students.”

Teasing him about his life before has become normal between the two of you. After that first year, after you both learned how to coexist in the same space without upended chairs or banishing spells, he finally told you his story. About his university that burned down decades ago with him inside of it. How the land that your house now occupies was once part of the sprawling campus. 

It’s another reason you let him raid your closet every October. It has to be a certain type of hell to spend the rest of your unlife looking like you’re always ready to attend afternoon lectures in plaid shorts and suspenders and shoes with little buckles on them. 

Ignoring his glaring attention, you turn back to the pot you have on the stove. It’s starting to boil aggressively, so you make sure to jam in some cinnamon sticks before wrestling the cover onto it. 

“Can you stop spying on my neighbor? He has nothing to do with you.”

Seungmin glides over to peer over your shoulder. “Whatever, but he is weird. Did you burn dinner?”

“It’s meant to be a spell and no, it’s not burnt. Sorry, are you the professional in the kitchen?”

“Are you?”  

-:･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡ ･ﾟ✧:･.:-

Maybe Seungmin was right. Maybe your neighbor is weird. 

You watch, from the same kitchen window Seungmin was staring out of a few days ago, as your neighbor comes out of the woods surrounding your properties shirtless and running. It’s a routine of his that you’ve noticed. In a completely normal way, mind you. 

It's not like you're an obsessive stalker or anything. You just happen to notice things. Especially things that follow a pattern. 

He’s the type of guy that goes running at night, and he always takes the path that cuts through the woods that creeps at the edge of your shared backyards. 

Maybe jogging at night isn’t a completely odd thing, but he’s also shirtless, and it’s the tail end of October. The nights are getting colder, with winter nipping at the heels of autumn. That can’t be normal. 

It’s also a routine that you only began clocking at the beginning of the month. He’s lived in the house next door since the spring, and you’ve noticed him jogging through the neighborhood every now and then. He seemed like the athletic type, so you didn’t think much of it. 

But the nightly jogs through the forest only really became a thing during the first week of the month. At first it didn't seem like anything too different. Seungmin, who never actually sleeps, commented on it but you waved him off. He loved to gossip and get into people’s business. He was possibly the nosiest ghost you ever met. 

But as the nights went by, you became more aware of it. 

You’d like nothing more than to chalk it up to Seungmin as the one being weird, but if you squint you swear there really is something peculiar about him. It’s in the way the air moves around him, you think. It feels impossible to put into words, but there’s something about it that’s just a little unexplainable. 

Once you notice, it's almost impossible to stop noticing it. Which is incredibly frustrating.

Your neighbor approaches his back stairs, and slows to a stop. You watch as he lets out a long breath and stretches his back. As he turns, he catches sight of you in the window. It’s too late to try and move away, pretending you weren’t absolutely staring, so when he offers you a wave, you have to return it. 

-:･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡ ･ﾟ✧:･.:-

The next night you curl up on the single patio chair you have on your back porch. It’s barely a porch, really. There’s enough room for a chair and a small table and not much else. 

You wait, quietly, as the stars twinkle above the tree tops and the night becomes as quiet as it can in a neighborhood that’s not urban enough for constant traffic and city noises, but also not rural enough for the silence that only comes with living far enough away from people. It’s the odd sort of in between world. Ambient sounds of a car passing a handful of streets away. Someone’s dog is barking in the distance. You hear a pair of voices from the front of your house, as they walk past on the sidewalk, their voices fade away the farther they get. 

The moon shines brightly from its spot in the sky. It’s not a full moon just yet, you can tell by the subtle shape of it and the calendar on your phone. It’ll reach its zenith in a few days, just shy of Halloween. 

Finally, your neighbor comes out from the sparse woods. Shirtless as always. You try, and fail, not to stare. 

(“He’s kind of hot.” Seungmin had said, that first night he had called him weird, after returning to the window. “Almost upsettingly so.”) 

You were trying to be a polite and respectful neighbor and not oggle him. But Seungmin was so entirely correct. It really is upsetting how good looking he is. 

“Hey.” You greet, grabbing his attention as you call out. You move forward, resting your arms against the railing and leaning just enough over the side so you can see him better. 

“Oh, hi.” He answers, blinking at you before waving. When he smiles he has a dimple. You can see it in the porch light. 

“My roommate thinks you’re weird.” Might as well get to the point, instead of trying to find an excuse to speak to him.

That makes him laugh. Loud and full and it warms you up from the inside out. 

“I’m sorry?” 

“No need to apologize for him projecting.” 

“Uh- ok. Noted. Do you share your roommate’s opinion or…?” His voice dips, like he’s trying to make it sound like a joke but he’s also extremely curious. 

You can taste it on the wind. It’s that same sort of something about him that you noticed before, but now it’s more pronounced. Now that there isn’t a window or a driveway between you. He’s drifted closer to your porch, titling his head a bit, and you, tipping your gaze down. 

It tastes a little like ozone and petrichor. Like the aftershocks of a storm deep in the forest. Woodsy and warm and sharp. It gets stuck at the back of your mouth, up into your nose. The sort of taste that has a smell and vice versa. 

He tastes like magic. 

“I haven’t really decided yet.” You tell him, keeping all of your thoughts locked tightly away. You wait a beat, watching his smile settle, before you introduce yourself. 

“You can call me Chan. It’s nice to meet you.” 

-:･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡ ･ﾟ✧:･.:-

A few days before All Hallow’s Eve, you’re awoken by a hand on your shoulder. The feeling is so foreign you’re immediately awake, sitting up with your heart in your throat, blinking away the dizziness of sleep.

Seungmin is leaning over your bed, his mouth set into a perpetual frown. Wearing a terry cloth robe over his school uniform and a pair of slippers in the shape of puppies that you specially bought for him. 

“There’s a dog at your door.”

“What?” You're not awake enough to parse that sentence. 

He rolls his eyes. “There is a dog, and it’s on the back porch.” 

“...what?”

“I’m not repeating myself again. Do something about it, because it’s kind of creeping me out.”

“Creeping you out?" You question, because it feels like an incredibly ironic thing for Seungmin to be saying. "Aren’t you meant to be the creepy thing?” 

“It’s my night off.” He says, before walking away. Leaving you blinking and confused. 

There’s a dog? At your door?

What the fuck does he mean by that? You check the time as you're crawling out of bed and into a pair of house slippers. What is a dog doing on your porch at three in the morning? 

The house is dark and quiet as you shuffle down the stairs and through both the living room and kitchen. The only sound is the soft, almost haunting noise of Seungmin singing to himself somewhere else in the house. 

As you get closer to the back of your house, you can just barely make out a dark shape outside of the window. The moonlight seems to cast it in silhouette, and the curtains drawn over the window blur the outline.

Creeping closer, you quietly try to peek behind the curtain and out onto the porch. Holding your breath, you chance a look. Any other time of year, you might have taken your roommates word for it that there was just some dog outside. But you can never be too careful about the things lurking in the dark so close to the 31st. 

At first you can't really make out what it is. It's just a large shape. Made out of shadow as it shifts around and almost knocks over your chair. Your heart crawls its way back up into your throat at the sheer size of it. 

It's as you're trying to figure out what the fuck you're meant to do in situations like this, and also wondering why your protection wards don't seem to work against this thing, when it moves and catches the light. 

You're still keyed up, because you still can't find an explanation, but there's a sliver of relief at recognizing what the shape is. 

Sitting there, sniffing at the little potted plants you have balanced on the porch railing, is a massive animal. Seungmin called it a dog but it looks so much bigger. 

It has the proportions of a wolf, maybe. You've seen wolves before, on television and that one time you went to a wolf sanctuary up north. You have a rough estimate of what they're meant to look like. Except this wolf looks as if someone clicked and dragged at the edges and enlarged it. 

When it moves to turn, trying to be oh so careful of the small space it's found itself in, you notice the way it flinches and limps. It’s favoring one of its front paws. 

Oh. It's injured. Ok, so you have a gigantic injured wolf camped out on your back porch. Sure. Why not? Somehow you're convinced you've had weirder things happen to you. Seungmin is somehow your best friend and dead, that has to be the weirdest thing in your life, right?

Speaking of your dead roommate, you’re sure that if he were here right now, hovering over your shoulder and watching you pull out the first aid kit from under the sink, he'd say you have a bleeding heart. Or that you’re being idiotic by wanting to help the monster at your door. What else are you meant to do? Shoo it away? It’s injured! 

Gently opening the back door, you try to seem like as little of a threat as possible. You don't need this thing lunging and attacking the moment it sees you. You’re convinced that it could swallow you in one bite if it really wanted it. 

The moment the back door creaks open, its ears perk up and it’s moving to face you. Curious but cautious.

“Hi, uh- please don’t eat me?” You inch further out, keeping the door open in case you have to make a swift exit. The wolf moves out of your way, making room on the already cramped porch. It tips its head and flattens its ears. It doesn’t seem aggressive. 

If anything it looks like it’s in pain. 

Now that you’re out here, and you have a better view, you catch sight of blood on the boards of your porch. Smeared and shiny in the porch light. “Can I… help? If I help you, that means you can’t eat me. Ok?” 

The wolf whines, settling down in whatever empty space it can find and nosing at its front leg. 

This feels almost too surreal. You know nothing about who or what this wolf is, or why it decided to seek you out, but yet you’re crouching down and snapping open the first aid box. 

“Um, it’s nice to meet you. I’m just going to- sorry, I need to see where you’re hurt.” You start to talk to it, not even knowing if it can understand you. You want to reassure it, in any way you can manage. As you pull its, frankly huge paw into your lap, you remember to introduce yourself. It always pays to be polite. 

You try to hold in your gasp once you get a good look at where it’s injured. The entire foreleg is bleeding, the skin mangled. 

“Did you step in a bear trap? Holy shit. ” You breathe, pressing gauze to the open wounds, trying your best to staunch the blood. 

The next few minutes go by in near silence, as some part of your brain has completely shut off to the entire weirdness of this situation, and instead you focus solely on fixing whatever this is as best as you can. It’s far from a professional job, but the bleeding has stopped so you take that as a win. 

The entire time, you can feel the wolf staring at you. If anything, it just adds to the weird factor. It doesn’t act like a normal wolf. Sure, it flinches when you press too hard on its wounds or when you sterilize them, but it doesn’t growl or snap or pull away. It just closes its eyes tight and huffs through its nose. 

“I’m sorry.” You mumble, wrapping its leg and paw up in a bandage. “It’s almost over, I promise.” The wolf whines again, quiet and soft and you’re struck with the urge to press a kiss to its head.

When you’re done, and you tuck the bandage into itself, the wolf finally moves. It surges forward, and you flinch, bracing yourself for the worst. A wet nose presses itself to your cheek, and then you feel it bump its head into your own. The force of it almost knocks you over. 

“Oh, uh- you’re welcome.” 

As quickly as it had sat and offered you its paw, it’s getting up and stepping over you. Apparently it got what it wanted out of this exchange. 

It’s only later, after the wolf has limped its way into the woods, that you find yourself looking up at the night sky. It’s the first night of the full moon. A giant wolf that didn’t act much like a wolf showed up on the very first night of the full moon. There’s something about that statement that sticks into the folds of your brain, but you’re honestly too tired and covered in blood to make any real sense of it. 

-:･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡ ･ﾟ✧:･.:-

The next afternoon, you see Chan getting out of his car, wearing a big grey hoodie and a beanie. Seeing him all bundled up is almost as good as seeing him run around shirtless. He somehow manages to pull off both looks flawlessly. 

You’re still tired from all of the sleep you didn’t get last night, but you’ve decided that sitting out on your front steps to get some much needed sunlight would do you well. 

You wave when he catches sight of you, offering a small smile as a hello. When he waves back you notice that his hand is bandaged, and the white cloth disappears into the cuff of his hoodie. 

Interesting.

-:･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡ ･ﾟ✧:･.:-

“It's at the back door again.” Seungmin says, practically hanging over you. His hair is damp and a shocking shade of orange, and you are not awake enough to wonder how he managed to do that. 

“You have to stop waking me up like this.” You grumble, pushing him out of your face. 

“Your wolf is whining at the back door." 

“He’s not my wolf.” 

You have this sneaking suspicion, you’ve been fostering it all day, that says he’s not really anyone’s wolf but his own. For a multitude of reasons. 

“Well, this is the second night in a row and it’s getting kind of pathetic. I’m starting to feel bad for it.”

“Fine, fine. I’ll deal with him.” You pull a sweater on and shove your feet into slippers.

“Wait- he? Him? The wolf told you its pronouns?” Seungmin follows you down through the hall and down the stairs. 

“Oh, right. I forgot to tell you.” You stop in the living room, peeking just enough into the kitchen to notice the large shape outside of the window by the back door. “I’m pretty sure our neighbor is a werewolf.”

“I knew he was weird!” 

Moving closer to the back door, you’re a bit more resolved in your conclusion after saying it out loud. It feels like the most obvious answer. The only thing you’re still confused about is why did a werewolf seek you out when it was hurt? A werewolf who you’ve barely spoken to and only introduced yourself to earlier in the week?

You open the door, and there he is. Laying with the top half of his body on the porch and the rest of him sitting on the grass. His ears perk up when he sees you in the doorway. 

“Hi Chan. How’s your arm feeling?” You ask, with a tilt of your head and a genuine smile. Seungmin laughs from just behind your shoulder, giddy and loving every minute.

-:･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡ ･ﾟ✧:･.:-

In the morning, there's a knock at your front door, and when you answer it, Chan is standing there, hands shoved deep in his pockets and the brim of his cap pulled low over his eyes. 

He looks a little awkward and misplaced. You were expecting him to show up sooner or later. Especially after you called him by name last night.

“Hey. Long time no see.” You tease, smiling at him.

“Hi. I uh-” He cuts himself off with an embarrassed sort of laugh. “Right. Actually, that's kind of what I came to talk about.”

“About the werewolf thing?”

“Wow." He breathes, still amused and trying to get a handle on his laughter "Yeah, actually.” With his head tipped away from you, he resembles the wolf quite a bit. You can almost imagine him with his ears flattened and his big liquid eyes refusing to look at you. 

“Sure. Come in.” 

You direct him to the living room, and you know what it must look like to someone who's never seen it before. Different patterns and trinkets scattered around, candles on every surface. Seungmin calls it eclectic. But he says it with a twist to his voice so you can never tell if it's an insult or a compliment. 

After you're both seated on one of the couches, your knees dangerously close to touching, you prop your head on your fist and wait for him to speak first. 

This is his problem more than it is yours, plus he's the one that came to talk. 

“You don’t look like a werewolf.” Seungmin says, appearing from virtually nowhere. His hair is still orange, and it looks a lot better in the daylight. You'll have to tell him you like it, once you're not so annoyed with him of course. 

"Oh, uh-" 

“And you don't look like a dead boy. Leave him alone.” You snap at him. With love. 

Seungmin pouts and rolls his eyes, but he easily slips from the room.

“Sorry about him. He’s nosy.” 

Chan shrugs, hands fidgeting on his thighs. “It’s alright. I don’t really mind. Besides, I did come here to talk to you about the 'werewolf thing,' so it’s fine if he’s curious about it.” He actually adds finger quotes as he says it, which is kind of stupidly endearing.

"I'm the one who's curious. Like I said, he's just nosy." 

“Right, well. I want to apologize, firstly, for bothering you the other night. Or well, for the wolf bothering you.”

You tilt your head in curiosity. "Aren’t you and the wolf the same person?”

“It’s- complicated." Chan presses his lips together, before sighing and settling further into the cushions. "We are but… sometimes, especially during a full moon, the wolf can have a mind of his own. We’re not separate entities but- sometimes, when he’s feeling strong, I don’t get a say over our decisions.”

“Like stepping in a bear trap?”

“Or coming to you for help. Really, I am sorry.”

“You were bleeding, Chan. You don’t have to apologize for that.” 

Somehow, your hand has made its way to his knee. You press your fingertips into his jeans. He shifts closer, and his eyes are so dark and deep. 

"Besides. I kind of like the wolf." 

"What about me?" 

"I thought you weren't separate entities?" 

His dimple appears when he smiles, and you have to stop yourself from leaning close and pressing your thumb into it.

-:･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡ ･ﾟ✧:･.:-

It's the last night of the full moon, with Halloween just around the corner, and you're stepping out onto the porch before Seungmin can wake you. 

You have a feeling, rooted deep underneath all of your organs, that you’re going to see Chan again tonight. He mentioned that the full moon has a strong effect on him, and when he’s a wolf he seems drawn to you. So you might as well meet him in the middle. 

Sitting out in your little chair, you wait. The night has turned chilly and the stars glitter brightly in the sky. Finally, movement at the tree line catches your attention. A dark shape that stalks back and forth, just out of sight. 

You don’t really have an explanation for all of this, for why a werewolf is seeking out your attention, but you can’t say that you’re complaining all that much. It’s nice to feel trusted by something five times your size and with teeth as thick as your fingers. 

Getting up and stepping from the porch, you move closer to the woods. Standing barefoot in the sparse grass of your backyard and tempting the shape to come closer. The moon is full and bright and the breeze bites at your bare ankles. The shape stares out at you, eyes glinting between two tree trunks. 

“C’mere.” You call, barely raising your voice. 

The shape moves, bridging the distance between you and the trees in the blink of an eye, and suddenly you have a mass of muscle and fur bearing down on you.

"Hey, you big puppy." The words are all tangled up with a laugh, as you try to push him away and actually get a good look at him. “Y’know, you’re very affectionate for someone who hasn’t known me all that long.” 

Wolf Chan doesn’t answer, of course he doesn’t, but he does huff and shift closer. He’s tall enough that you can look him in the eye without having to bend at all. You reach forward and press your palms to his cheeks, rubbing your thumbs along the soft fur of his face. He closes his eyes at the touch, huffing through his nose again.

He’s soft and warm, fur almost black in the moonlight. You don’t know why this has happened to the two of you, but it feels right. Like you’ve been waiting for this moment for a very long time and didn’t even realize it until now. 

Suddenly he’s moving forward and pressing his nose into your cheek, getting as close as he can. Leaning his weight into you as his muzzle moves down and into the curve of your neck. You get a face full of his fur, which has you laughing again. 

You wrap your arms around his neck. Or as much of his neck as you can, returning the favor by nuzzling into his body and sighing in contentment. 

"We should really try this cuddling thing when you're human." 

-:･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡ ･ﾟ✧:･.:-

The day before All Hallow’s Eve you have an armful of Chan, as you both lay on the big couch in your living room. You should probably be more wary of how close you two have gotten, and how quickly. But you can’t help but remember that feeling the other night, standing among the treeline and breathing in the wolf’s scent. Petrichor and pine trees. There’s just something right about it that you can’t find the words for. 

The morning after the full moon, Chan had come to your door and asked if the offer for some human cuddles was still available. You told him to take you to dinner first and then you’d decide. 

Which led you both to right now, days later, and almost stupidly inseparable. He hasn’t unwillingly shifted into a wolf since the full moon, so you’ve been able to spend the nights with a very human Chan. Getting to know him and talk to him. Touch your fingers to his skin. Learn his little habits and quirks. 

You smooth a hand over his hair, pushing it out of his eyes as he cuddles closer. He hums and moves around until he’s pressing his face into the slope of your neck. It’s warm and familiar and you squeeze him a little bit tighter. "The wolf really likes you."

"Oh. He does?"

Chan nods and hums again, happily. You can feel it vibrate through your skin and into your bones. "I do, yeah." 

“Well that’s good, because I really like you too.”

You both settle back into the quiet, listening to the ambient noises of the house. The fridge hums lowly from the kitchen. Seungmin is somewhere singing to himself again, you can hear it carry through the walls. Petting at the nape of Chan’s neck, you tip your chin and kiss the crown of his head. You could probably stay like this all day. 

He smells like petrichor and pine. Sharp and woodsy, like the forest and magic.

"Hey, if I dress up as Red Riding Hood, would you dress up as the Big Bad Wolf?" You ask, cutting through the comfortable silence. 

"How long have you been waiting to ask me that?" 

"Since I saw you getting out of your car with your arm all bandaged up." 

Chan laughs, big and loud, and he’s propping himself up so he can look down at you, eyes squinting and dimple appearing. He doesn’t say anything, just sort of shakes his head and then surges forward to kiss you soundly. 

You’re going to take that as a yes.

[darlingmisa]

what if you were having an attitude and doing whatever you could to ignore everyone and be alone? the type of attitude that couldn’t be dealt with by sex?

i need some abby comfort and i love your writing so so much

Don't Hide...

There's not enough Abby comfort on here and I'm definitely here to fix that! And I'm so so glad you enjoy my writing! It makes me very happy to hear you guys say that <3 (846 words)

It was one thing for you to have a bit of an attitude sometimes, who wouldn't? Living in a post-apocalyptic world wasn't the dream scenario, so of course, everyone was a little snarky at times, but something about the way you were acting, felt different to Abby. It wasn't just your normal attitude after a bad patrol or generally rough day, something was different.

All week you had been getting more and more irritated. It started as simply rolling your eyes when Issac mentioned something you could've done better, walking away before he could even finish his lecture. Next, it was ignoring your partners, who were simply trying to keep everyone, including you, safe on patrols. What got Abby's attention, was how you'd shut yourself away from everyone the minute you could. That on its own wasn't abnormal. What was? You were pushing her away too.

Abby tried everything, asking around to see if something happened to put you in such a mood, but she never got a clear answer. Always just a "She just started acting like that," from every person she asked. Her concern only grew when you started spending the night in your room, something you hadn't done since the two of you had gotten together.

It got to the point where Abby had barely seen or spoken to you. She was extremely worried, especially when even on your days off, you were nowhere to be found. This just wasn't like you, but every time she went to your room, knocking on the locked door, something else you never did, she was met with pure silence.

She decided she would just give you the space you seemed to be so desperately begging for. And that lasted for a few days until she realized you hadn't been going out at all. Not for food, not for your patrols, not for any reason at all. No one had seen you, and that's when she decided to snag a room key and make her way back to the door with your name written on it.

She knocked, muttering a small "Babe..? I'm coming in okay?" and that's when the panic settled in. You knew it would come to this eventually, and you could already hear the worry in her voice, only making you feel worse. You could see her slightly from the curled-up position you were in. As she slowly moved closer, you couldn't miss the furrow of her brows or the frown on her face caused by your current state. What stood out the most though, were the bags under her eyes showing how little she'd slept.

You felt the tears immediately fill your eyes and overflow, beginning to sob out apologies as she rushed to your side. Abby was quick to speak, brushing stray hairs out of your face and wiping your tears. "Hey hey, what's wrong sweet girl? Talk to me."

At this point you'd rolled back over, unable to look your girlfriend in the eyes as you tried to speak through broken sobs. "I-I don't know Abs… I can't explain it." And that was the truth. You weren't sure why you'd been feeling this way or what had caused it. You just couldn't do it anymore.

"I need you to look at me baby, and breathe, please." Her voice was soft and calming compared to the whirlpool of emotions, ones that had been swirling inside of you for weeks now. You turned around at the feeling of the bed dipping beside you, a sign that Abby had laid down as well. Once her eyes met yours, she spoke again "Did something happen?"

"No," You began, voice barely audible from where you'd buried your face in her chest. "I just..broke? I don't know." Abby felt the rise of your chest before your voice reached her ears once more. "It's so much baby I just can't-"

Abby cut you off before you could finish. "I know pretty girl, I know." Her hands trailed down your sides, rubbing gently. "You've been working so hard, was it too much for you?" And all you could do was nod, hearing her put what you'd been hinting at in simpler terms. You were exhausted, trying to seem tough for everyone but you just couldn't keep the act up anymore.

The blonde held you as you cried, running her fingers through your slightly tangled hair, mumbling small comforting phrases, and leaving kisses across the crown of your head. "We'll get you a different position on base okay? Something that might be easier for you yeah?" And you nodded, coming to terms with the fact that you weren't ready for jobs like that, for something so stressful.

Eventually, you'd calmed down and raised your head to look at Abby once more. The rough feeling of the pad of her thumb wiping a stray tear grabbed your attention. "Next time, don't hide yourself okay?" A small smile graced her features as she watched you nod again, still not risking speaking and bringing more tears. "I'm here, just come talk to me."

[geddy-leesbian]

Hii, 8 + 22 from Autumn Themed Prompt for Lethan ? :))

sorry this took me forever, I'm not much of a Lethan shipper and struggled through writer's block. I also didn't write down both prompts in your ask for some reason so this only has "I need a place to stay." 😭

but I do have some bonus gifs to go with it at least <3

(and I took it in a,, creative direction AU wise. 80's AU, Ethan is a sound engineer, Leon is a receptionist at the same recording studio Ethan works at.)

While they were coworkers at the recording studio, Leon didn't know Ethan all that well. Leon was a receptionist at the fuck desk, and Ethan was a sound engineer who worked with artists in the back, so their paths rarely crossed. 

But he did know it was unusual for Ethan to linger around in the studio like this, just awkwardly standing around in the lobby after he was done working, instead of rushing home to his family. That was the real reason Leon didn't know the man well. Leon liked parties and accepted any invitations, but with Ethan it was always “I need to get home to Mia” and then, later, “I need to get home to Rose.”

“Hey, Ethan, anything I can help you with?”

“Yeah, there's something I wanted to ask you. I need a place to stay. And I know you've let down on their luck people stay with you before to get back on their feet, so I thought it couldn't hurt to ask. I really don't want to impose on you, I wouldn't be asking if it was just me, but it's about my daughter too,” Ethan rambles nervously. “I've been fighting with Mia for a while now, she's really fed up and wants to take a break. She wants me out of the house, said I could take Rose, but I don't feel comfortable taking her to whatever cheap motel I– Nevermind. Just forget I said all this, babies aren't desirable roommates, and I shouldn't be dumping my problems on someone I barely know.”

“First of all, everyone dumps their problems on me. It's basically part of the job description. Normal receptionist things, look pretty and smile and nod when musicians flirt with me, and be a supportive listener when musicians start venting,” Frankly Ethan's problems are nothing compared to what he's used to, drugs, affairs, band member drama caused by drugs and/or affairs… Admittedly there could be some more serious issues in Ethan's marriage that Leon doesn't know about, but at the very least there isn't any inter-band conflict making it more complicated. “Second of all, my mind is a steel trap. I'm not forgetting anything you said. I've got a spare bedroom that can be yours. As soon as I get off, I'll follow you home and help you get whatever you need loaded in your car.”

Leon isn't insisting on going because he thinks Ethan actually needs help loading things. It's just his lowkey way to provide emotional support, because Leon would still be in a toxic relationship with Krauser getting treated like shit every single day if Claire hadn't eventually decided to show up and pack Leon's shit up and take him with her. Every time he tried to leave Krauser on his own, he either lost the courage before he finished packing, or he left but only lasted a day or two before crawling back. Leon is going to make sure Ethan does get out of his toxic situation too. 

“You don't have to do that.”

“I'm going to.”

-

The weirdest thing about having a baby in his household is that it sure doesn't feel like there's a baby in his house. Ethan does his best to minimize himself and not intrude on Leon, so Rose is either in the guest room, with Mia, or with a babysitter at all times. Leon never sees her, and it's surprisingly disappointing. 

“Hey, Ethan,” Leon eventually says when they pass each other in the hallway. “You know you're not confined to your room like a prisoner, right? You can bring Rose's highchair out to the kitchen and feed her there. She can play with her toys on the living room floor. It's not good for her to be cooped up in a small room all day.”

“I'm already imposing on you enough as is. I'm not going to take over more of your house.”

“Look, I grew up in foster care. Bounced through a few homes, and the one constant between them was that I always had a million siblings I had to share space with. I'm more than used to living with kids. I actually hate coming home to a quiet house, just doesn't feel right. Stay here as long as you want. Take up as much space as you want,” Ethan looks at him silently, expression as impossible to decipher as always. Leon feels bold enough to keep pushing. “I'm serious. I wasn't trying to eavesdrop, but I accidentally overheard you on the phone the other day. Something about you wanting to be able to take Rose to more of her appointments but not being in a position to cut back on your work hours. If you need to quit for a while to have some breathing room while you figure out Rose's health issues and the rest of your divorce, you can.”

“I'm not quitting,” Still, Ethan's resolve crumbled a bit. “But I might cut back on my hours. Just for Rose's sake, and I'll still try to move out as soon as possible. Probably when the divorce is final and I don't have attorney fees eating into every paycheck.”

“Do whatever you need to, and make yourself at home in the meantime.”

-

For the majority of his life, Leon couldn't see even a hint of domestic bliss in his future. As a child, the thought of being someone's wife felt suffocating, and the thought of being a mother made his skin crawl. Once he began his new life, one that felt so much more authentic and right, there were moments the thought of being a father appealed to him. 

But then he met Jack Krauser and everything went to shit. He wasted far too much of his life living under that asshole's thumb. It was bad enough to make him swear off of dating and, by extension, having a family. He had a good thing going. No boyfriends, no domestic bliss, no babies. Just hook-ups. He was happy with that. Until Ethan got him yearning for more again. 

Ethan is almost always home when Leon gets home. He cut back his studio hours, something he had an easier time doing after getting a side hustle he can do at home; putting his art skills to use making album covers for the smaller bands that wanted cheap art for their first albums. If Ethan doesn't have any art to work on, he'll be playing with Rose. If he is working on a piece, Rose is in her plastic seat on the floor with enough toys to keep her occupied, and Ethan puts his art supplies away when Leon walks in. 

Regardless, the first thing Leon does when he gets home is get down on the floor with Rose. He really does like having a baby around, especially one as cute and sweet as Rose. Ethan greets Leon briefly and then goes to the kitchen to start on dinner, because cooking makes him feel a bit less like a leech. 

Leon feels like someone poured a bucket of ice over him the morning Ethan leaves earlier than normal, with Rose in a baby carrier, announcing he was going to look at an apartment that he found out about through word of mouth with rent he thought he could swing. 

Leon calls in sick to work, and it's not entirely a lie, he does feel sick from the thoughts of Ethan moving out of his modest but nice and safe house to go live in some shitty apartment with Rose, and, most devastating, him coming home to an empty house everyday. Instead of wallowing in self pity, he springs into action. He's not a great cook, but manages to throw some sandwiches and salad together and set the table for lunch while waiting for Ethan to get back. He's a bit confused when he does get back and Leon ushers him to the kitchen, but goes along with it, putting Rose in her highchair and then sitting down himself.

“I wanted to talk to you about moving out,” Leon begins. “I don't think you should. Not yet. I like having you and Rose here, and I don't like the thought of you two in some shitty apartment in the bad part of town just because you think you're bothering me. That would bother me more, having to worry about you.”

“I guess I'll stick around,” Ethan sports his signature deer in headlights face when he looks down at the table, particularly at the bottle of wine. “Am I supposed to feel like I'm on a date with you right now?”

“Not really,” The fact Ethan doesn't seem disgusted or at all upset by the concept of going on a date with Leon gives him some courage. “I was going to take you out to eat somewhere when I asked you out instead of making anything here. But I had to talk you into staying today and getting a babysitter and a reservation for somewhere nice wouldn't be possible on such short notice.”

“Well, I won't say no if you ask me out on a real date in a few days.”

“Noted.”

“And Rose is about ready for a nap. The atmosphere might be a bit more romantic without a baby in the room.”

Leon nods and gets up to grab Rose. 

[isacksteban]

First Kiss (Race 2)

A strollonso AU where 18 year old rookie Lance Stroll falls helplessly in love with the notoriously mean world champion. (1.4k words, no warnings) [@v3lnys]

last part - masterlist - next part

Quali came to an end once again, the feeling slightly tamer than the first time as Lance pulled back into his side of the garage, Nico not far behind.

He was slightly disappointed he qualified p10 but it'll be fine as long as he can actually finish this race (and hopefully get points for the team this time.)

He heard Nico talking to his engineer on the other side of the garage and decided to go over, not having much to do on his side.

"Seriously, the wheels locked up like twice. You were watching and I know you noticed so the fact that you're ignoring the issues is bullshit-"

Maybe not the best time to stand around.

He decided instead of hanging around with Nico he'd just walk around the paddock, his race suit hanging by his hips as he walked by the other teams garages, seeing how busy everyone else on the paddock was. He could tell some people were quick to go home but he wasn't ever in a rush to get back to his hotel room, it was usually boring anyway.

"Ah, Lancito, I was just looking for you" There it is. The voice Lance looks forward to hearing as soon as the race week starts, and most likely the reason he decides to stay back as late as he does

"Nando, Hi" He flashed a smile at the long haired driver, stoping in his tracks so they could walk together

"Nando?" The shorter man echoed, catching up to Lance as they both continued walking, steps in sync as they made their way around the paddock

"Well, I figured it was only fair for me to give you a name since you gave me one" Lance nodded as he spoke, afraid the older man had a problem with it, it was quite childish, he wasn't sure why he even called him that, Fernando worked just fine, it was a silly nickname

"I like it, Sounds good coming from you." Fernando smiled up at Lance, wrapping an arm around his shoulder to pull him down to his level "Guess we are friends now, eh? Coworkers do not usually have special names for eachother"

Lance nodded again, he supposed Nando was right. He turned to look at him as he continued to speak, rambling about many things but all Lance could think about was how good he looked. He'd never really examined the Spaniard like he was doing now, sunglasses propped up on his head, holding his hair out of his face, it seemed like he had just shaved that morning, the shadow of his facial hair barely visible, his lips curved slightly upwards as he talked, his hair curling in every direction but somehow he made the messy look seem intentional

"What hotel do they have you staying at, Lancito?" Was the first thing Lance really heard after spending god knows how long just staring at Fernando. How embarrassing.

"Uhm- Mövenpick? I think, Otmar has my keycard somewhere." Lance hummed, having lost the keycard to the hotel in Bahrain Otmar had decided it was best to put Nico and Lance in the same room and "look after" Lances keycard until they headed back.

"Ah, I see. I didn't realize they'd put drivers in different hotels."

"If you miss my company so much you're welcome to come along, you know I get special priviliges because of my dad" Lance joked, at this point he was so used to people belittling him to just being his fathers son that he had started to do it as well

"Ah, don't say that Lancito" Fernando almost scolded him, moving his hand to tap the back of his head "You forget I'm world champion, I could buy another hotel ticket if I wanted to."

Lance laughed, nodding in agreement, there wasn't anything stopping Fernando from doing anything really, after he left the paddock he could go wherever, do whatever, it's not like he signed away his soul to F1 so moving hotels wouldn't be a big deal "I know, I know, but if you ever want free stuff, Mr. World Champion, you know who to ask" Lance hummed, taking his turn of having his arm around Fernandos shoulder "These are the perks of being friends with a nepotism baby"

"I'll take your word for it then" Fernando laughed, accepting the change of positions, it wasn't very comfortable reaching up to drape an arm around Lances shoulder anyways.

A comfortable silence fell over them, neither feeling the need to add anything more, it was odd, how well they had clicked. They got along better together than either of them did with their teammates but no one was complaining. Lance liked having someone to go to outside of the Racing Point garage and Fernando liked having someone he felt like this towards, whatever "this" was. They were snapped back to reality when Otmar finally found Lance

"God kid, I was looking for you. Nico's about to head back so I figured now was a good time to give you the key" He pulled out a think black card and handed it to Lance "Don't lose it this time, alright?" He asked, not letting to just yet.

"Alright, I'll attach it to my arm, okay?" Lance joked, turning back to Fernando "Think about it, really, if your hotel gets boring you're more than welcome at mine." He said before making his way out of the paddock, catching up to Nico so they could leave together

Odd was all Otmar thought, he didn't realize his driver had gotten so close to Fernando, he'd thought maybe it was just press, or maybe some plan the Spaniard had, but he had nothing to gain from staying late and just sitting next to him.

Lance tried not to be disappointed when night came and went and Fernando had decided not to come, it was silly, but a part of him was looking forward to seeing him outside of the paddock, outside of the blue and yellow.

They were so busy before the race that Lance hadn't even managed to catch a glimpse of the Spaniard let alone talk to him, before he knew it interviews were over and he was in his car, lined up in the fifth row, Nico barely behind him.

Fernando was right in saying Malaysia was going to treat him better, he had managed to make up three places and actually get points for his team in his second grand prix.

It felt great, even though it wasn't a podium like Fernando had gotten getting points waa a big deal for the rookie (driver and team).

The debrief went smoothly considering how both Nico and Lance finished the race with no major problems, as they gathered their things and the team started to leave the garage one by one Lance couldn't help but notice the blue in the corner of his eye. He turned his head and smiled when he confirmed it was in fact Fernando

"Good-" Lance started, trying to beat Fernando to congratulating eachother was proving to be difficult

"You did great, Lancito" Fernando commented, walking into the garage now that it was practically empty "Your overtakes are pretty decent for a nepotism baby, eh?"

Lance laughed, hitting Fernandos arm "Guess you did pretty good for a world champ then, huh?" It was nice, the banter they had, if anyone else joked with him jow Fernando does he was sure he'd take it the wrong way but with how Fernandos treated him since they met he had no doubt in his mind that every jab he made towards him was lighthearted.

"Any plans before Australia, Lancito?" Right, Lance had forgotten there wasn't another race for two weeks

"I'm not sure, I always end up somewhere though" He laughed, leaning on the counter behind him, using his hands to prop himself up "How about you, where are you going, Nando?"

"Me and Mark, Mark Webber, were planning on spending the break in Australia together"

Right, he forgot Fernando was close to Mark, the driver who's seat he took.

"Could you tell him I'm sorry?" Lance hesitated to speak, wondering if the Australian was mad at him for ending his career early

"He doesn't mind, trust me, if he wasn't okay with ending his career he would've signed with someone else." Fernando consoled the younger, patting his shoulder after he finished "Don't worry your pretty little head, alright?"

Lance laughed, shaking his head at the comment in efforts to ignore the pink tint covering his face "Alright, Nando."

[inimitablereel]

so you want to watch a Hallmark Hanukkah Movie

Last year @heliological and I watched all 7 Hallmark Hanukkah Movie that were out at the time (plus the one lifetime hanukkah movie, Menorahs and Mistletoe) to make a cool fanvid. Actually, you don't need to have seen any of these movies to watch that so I'm going to shamelessly stick that in the body of this post

I've just watched the two movies that came out this year, so, below the cut, my personal ranking of every Hallmark Hanukkah Movie (plus mistletoe and menorahs which I'm declaring an honorary hallmark movie)

Perhaps it shouldn't be surprising that watching 10 Hallmark* movies set in December means a lot of exposure to that other December holiday. Personally I avoid Christmas as much as possible, but I hear some people love it, so I'll rate each of these movies on 3 axes:

Hallmark: how much christmas is in a movie (higher is worse imo)

Hanukkah: how much this movie knew (or got wrong) about Judaism (according to me, one Jew on the internet)

Movie: okay but was it actually fun to watch (again, according to me)

Round and Round (2023)

Rachel gets stuck in a timeloop on the seventh night of Hanukkah. Hallmark: 1: Christmas barely exists in this movie, and every character we know celebrates a holiday specifically celebrates chanukah. A 1 instead of a 0 because there are a few moments of Christmas existing in the world (true to life in north america in december, unfortunately)

Hanukkah: 8: loses a point for a couple of incorrect props, but generally seems like it knows what it's doing about hanukkah/feels like a reasonable portrayal of Jews

Movie: 10: this is the only one of these that I told people irl to go see: I genuinely liked and would recommend this movie! I love timeloops, I found the romance genuinely very compelling and handled well with the context of the timeloop, it was really charmingly nerdy, so I'm 100% the target audience for this one. Dropout fans may note that one of the leads is played by Vic Michaelis.

Hanukkah on the Rocks (2024)

An old town dive bar turns into a Hanukkah party when just-laid-off lawyer Tory gets pulled into the community.

Hallmark: 0: I just finished this movie and I honestly don't remember there being any Christmas in it at all? It was mentioned as existing once? A real breath of fresh air as compared to the other Hallmark Hanukkah movie from this year

Hanukkah: 9: This gets bonus points for remembering that Jewish holidays other than Hanukkah exist. It was a little hokey at times about shared jewish experiences or whatever, but such is hallmark. Deducted the last point because I am mad about "Hanukkah in July"

Movie: 7: The description of this movie doesn't do it credit - it's surprisingly fun to watch! The main actors are pretty good and it was fun to watch everyone interacting. The pacing was a little wonky and the ending was a little rushed because this was way more focused on figuring out what you want in life/forming community than the actual romance plot. But I love the kind of romance that's actually a late coming of age story and this overall worked pretty well.

Hitched for the Holidays (2012)

Nice Jewish Girl Julie and Catholic boy Rob find each other on Craigslist looking for fake dates for the holidays. Shenanigans ensue when Rob pretends to Julie's family to be Jewish.

Hallmark: 5: this definitely had a fair bit of Christmas in it, since his family celebrates Christmas, but we're grading on a curve here because if I recall correctly this at least doesn't try to explain Christmas to the Jewish girl or do a kiss under a Christmas tree. It's set over pretty much the whole month of December so it's as much a new years movie as a christmas movie in that sense.

Hanukkah: 7: I'm giving this a relatively high rating despite it mostly showing Hanukkah celebration that's messed up on purpose as a joke about how the goyish boyfriend doesn't know anything about Hanukkah. So we get things like him blowing out a menorah, but hey, them including that as a joke means that the creators of this movie know that you're not supposed to blow out a menorah!

Movie: 6: I thought it was a pretty good romcom. It has a real plot arc, and it's doing some fun tropes. I will say that this movie runs on cringe humor, which I don't love but at least it's doing something. This is one of two movies I watched in 2022, so I may be underselling it a bit because I've forgotten, but it was actually pretty memorable.

Holiday Date (2019)

Nice Jewish Boy Ethan is hoping to get an acting gig in a play that involves small town Christmas, so he volunteers to pretend to be Brooke's boyfriend when her real boyfriend dumps her just before going to her parents' for Christmas.

Hallmark: 10: this is a Christmas movie that has a Jewish boyfriend

Hanukkah: 4? this didn't get anything wrong about hanukkah iirc but it's really not a movie about Hanukkah and it doesn't have a ton of screentime. They light some candles and have latkes and soufganiot

Movie: 8: Ethan's actor, Matt Cohen (who imdb tells me was on a few spn episodes back in the day?), made this movie. He was just shockingly charming and enthusiastic about everything in a way that made it somehow work for me even though I simply would not be anything like that level of enthusiasm in his place. And the fake dating plot worked pretty well. It does run into the classic hallmark conservatism, so even grading on a scale that ignores the Christmas of it all I don't want to give it full marks, but it was a notably way better, more cohesive, and more fun to watch movie than a bunch of these. This did make me say oh if I liked Christmas some of these movies would be fun vs many of the hanukkah ones are deeply mediocre in a way that isn't really fun, but that may mean if you have a tolerance for Christmas you have choices that are even better than this one. This one actually has the worst rating on letterboxd of every movie here, which, again, suggests that if you like Christmas there are better movies (with fewer Jews) and if you don't like Christmas this is so much Christmas.

Eight Gifts of Hanukkah (2021)

Who could be leaving Sara all these Hanukkah gifts? Surely not her good friend who used to be the boy next door. How will she choose between the mystery gift giver and the chef she just met online?

Hallmark: 2: I'd forgotten about this one honestly but it's really not about Christmas! They do have a half-Hanukkah-half-Christmas display because Sara's business partner is Christian, but honestly, it's pretty cute! The chef isn't Jewish but he doesn't force Christmas on her and is interested in her family's hanukkah celebration which is honestly very charming, so maybe this movie really deserves bonus points for knowing that Christmas exists but not being obnoxious about it

Hanukkah: 8: detracting some points for the JCC running a "Hanukkah hunt" which I personally hate. Also at one point someone carries a lit menorah? I don't think that's not kosher it just seems dangerous. Gets a bonus point for having a hanukkah song that isn't made up for the movie in it as instrumental background music!

Movie: 6: I have this in my notes as "perfectly functional romcom". Tbh this one may have been a worse watching experience just because I watched too many mediocre movies all at once, I think it was pretty okay. Also gets bonus points from me for not being set in NYC

Hanukkah on Rye (2022)

Jacob and Molly have a meet-complicated when they realize that the delis that they're both inheriting are competing .... but also secretly they've been paired up by a matchmaker at the same time.

Hallmark: 1: Tragically this is our last one that is not about Christmas. a 1 instead of a perfect 0 because the magical matchmaker who wears red and white and has glasses that glint in a particular way felt Christmassy to heliological, the Christmas Movie Knower of the two of us (also there's a Christmas tree in the lobby of the building they live in)

Hanukkah: 9: sure yeah this one knew about Hanukkah and was generally reasonably culturally aware. Detracting a point because their latkes do not actually look good to me (and imo deli latkes aren't really a big hanukkah thing?) but this is just me looking for reasons to mark it down [EDIT: apparently this is in fact an NYC thing, so like this movie reflects A Jewish Experience just not MY Jewish Experience]

Movie: 4: Unfortunately this one wasn't so much bad as boring, which is the worst crime in a movie imo. I wasn't super drawn in by the leads or their romance. Hallmark movies love having family screentime, but there was a little too much family in this one and they didn't really get individual personalities. If you're the kind of person who wants to watch a hallmark hanukkah movie you may still like it? Certainly some folks on the internet thought it was the best one up to that date. The one good part of this movie to me was that there was grandma yuri.

Leah's Perfect Gift (2024)

Nice Jewish Girl Leah loooooves Christmas (because she's been poisoned by living in a hallmark universe) so she's thrilled that her boyfriend has invited her to his family's Christmas celebration. Unfortunately, when she gets there, his mom is... not super welcoming?

Hallmark: 10: this is a Christmas movie

Hanukkah: weirdly, also 10? The problem with this movie is after about the first 15 minutes the fact that Leah is Jewish was almost never addressed again. (I'll get to that more in the movie section, I think it actually let down the plot.) But those first 15 minutes of establishing? They must've gotten some Jews involved with making this movie! In very little time they showed more Jewish culture (and Jewish culture that isn't specifically about Hanukkah) than several of these that were nominally all about Hanukkah. They know about another Jewish holiday! They namedrop Maimonides!!! The mom is PERFECT. Anyways wish this had been visible in Leah in the rest of the movie.

Movie: 6: hallmark is simply too cowardly to follow through on the premise they set up here: how do you navigate a holiday you don't celebrate with a family that really doesn't want you there. This was trying to thread the needle of things are going wrong for her because she's Jewish and doesn't have the right cultural expectations around Christmas ... but also all of the problems are specific to this family and will be dealt with by the individual problem causers realizing they were wrong (on their own) and apologizing. It's doing something as a movie! That's a bold choice! Unfortunately it doesn't pull it off, and the failure to pull it off made me go from liking to hating the boyfriend because he subjects Leah to the gauntlet of his garbage family Christmas and then doesn't really do anything to support or protect her. Leah should've gotten together with Tricia the general store clerk who as far as I can tell is only in this movie to hype Leah up and listen to her problems. Also thematically I would've liked more moments of Leah bringing her own background into this celebration - it didn't really feel like her failures at this family's Christmas were because she's Jewish or even because she doesn't celebrate Christmas - this family's Christmas was just very bad and weird.

Love, Lights, Hanukkah! (2020)

Christina is adopted but she gets a DNA test that reveals that she's biologically Jewish and therefore she obviously wants to reconnect with her birth family at the "most magical time of the year"... Hannukah.

Note: I watched this one in 2022 and it did NOT make a big impression so this will be my least accurate review

Hallmark: 6: I think there was a bunch of Christmas

Hanukkah: 7: I don't think this did anything egregiously wrong but it wasn't particularly good about Jewish rep either. There's a fundamental problem with your main character is adopted and her first view of Judaism is going to be all about Hanukkah...

Movie: 4: forgettable :p

Mistletoe and Menorahs (2019)

Christy loooooves Christmas and doesn't know anything about Hannukah but she needs to know about it for work. Nice Jewish Boy Jonathan needs to decorate his apartment for Christmas to impress his goyish girlfriend's father. Surely these are equivalently unknown cultures that they can have a nice time sharing.

Hallmark: 9: not a Full On Christmas Movie but it spends a lot of time Explaining Christmas

Hanukkah: 6: I don't think this is super informative about Hanukkah and doing it as a Teaching Experience when it's super basic stuff to me is kind of annoying. Also some truly garbage looking latkes made by Christy. But it gets the bonus point for knowing that another Jewish holiday exists!

Movie: 3: let's learn about Christmas was never going to be a compelling plot to me, and Christy is also just not very good at coming up with toy ideas for someone whose job that is? My notes say this is "pretty middle of the road for these" which is more damning of the whole Hallmark Hanukkah Movie concept than this movie in particular

Double Holiday (2019)

Nice Jewish Girl Rebecca is tragically forced to throw the office Christmas party with her work rival. At the end of this they do get together, obviously

Hallmark: 9: Sooo much Christmas. Did you know that dinosaur cookies are insufficiently Christmas for Christmas cookies? There is a kiss in front of a Christmas tree

Hanukkah: 5: they get big into spinning dreidels upside-down? Why. And their latkes don't look good. I don't remember them doing anything else Obviously Wrong but it wasn't good.

Movie: 3: I didn't like this one, which was mostly about the Christmas of it all but also it wasn't good

Congrats on making it all the way here Hallmark you should consider making a movie for Any Other Jewish Holiday sometime. My mom tells me that there is at least (and perhaps exactly) one decent Hanukkah romance novel so it's not like the options are so much better book-wise

[sanemisstalker]

꒰ა BIRTHRIGHT໒꒱

Douma makes your birthday a little easier.

CW// NSFW // FEM/ AFAB/ BREASTED READER / MAJOR DEPRESSIVE EPISODE/ This was very clearly written by someone going through it/ DISCUSSION OF AN ED/ Toxic Masculinity/ Toxic relationships/ Emotional Negligence / Dub-Con/ Forced Cuckholding/ BDSM dynamics/ Mentions of Self Harm/ Intentional Sexual Self Harm/ Intentional Self-Destruction. (Please let me know if I missed any)

I feel the urge to throw in an extra warning here and say that none of the following is inherently lucrative. I think I'm going through a depressive episode, and this was written before I realized. Please keep that in mind going forward. We can have a discussion about the ethics of this at a later date.

You kept your head tucked down as they sang. A ploy smile wide and rife with forced giggles. Never, did the world feel less real than in that moment. There was always someone out of tune, always someone who would sigh on your behalf. Always someone with a hand placed firmly on your shoulder to show how much they cared.

Always someone who stood next to you, who the group considered your most favourite person. You were pretty sure that's what he was supposed to be.

Nobody sounds genuine when they sing happy birthday, you fought with yourself to reason away the feeling inside of you. The person beside you. It's always awkward, right?

If you'd seen yourself hanging up the decorations, icing the red velvet cake, and worrying about everyone's dietary needs, you probably would've found it cute. Admirable, even, the level of dedication to the bit of it all. To the classics of a 'birthday party'.

Mitsuri had found it cute, after all. As did Shinobu.

Nobody cares if you're cute, act grown.

The taunts from a meaner part of you, a more vapid part, were beginning to call your smile into question. Not to any of your friends, though. Only him.

You didn't want to cry about fucking happy birthday, but he was right next to you, and every step of the way, every chance he got, he'd made all of those cute things feel very immature. Not even your barely there outfit, the one you wore to feel better about yourself, had felt all there.

'It's not weird to be twenty, I don't get why you're so stressed.'

Twenty. The number repeated in your head. Not old enough to drink. Not young enough to fuck. An insecure thought, but he was next to you. And every waning word of happy birthday felt like points off your scale. Points off from whatever else you meant to him.

Fuck. me. You thought, blowing out the candles as the choir finished. They all cheered and clapped. Kyojuro had lifted his hand from your shoulder, and Mitsuri had begun to apologize for how out of sync she was. Akaza looked as annoyed as he did when the song had started.

You turned to your right and looked up at Giyu. He smiled down at you and then averted his eyes. You turned back to your friends with no less convincing a smile.

Fuck. Me. You pleaded.

"I hate it no less every time." You joked, like this wasn't the first time people had done this for you since you were seven. They all laughed like you were normal. Laughed like having everyone near and dear to you in that same room didn't terrify you.

"I want the first slice!" Mitsuri rushed out, pressing her hands to her chest.

"No way, The birthday girl always gets the first slice!" Kyojuro argued.

"Since when? What kind of tradition is that?!" Mitsuri sputtered. Tengen shook his head from beside her.

"My family always served the birthday person last... but I think since you prepared this yourself, different traditions are in order!" Tengen reasoned.

"I agree." Gyokko piped up, dropping his lipstick back into his bag. It was probably his fifth reapplication of the hour. "Besides, enough arguing, I want to get to the gifts! You're going to like mine the best!"

"Tough talk. I'm going to blow you out of the water, fish boy." Sanemi hissed. Gyokko's jaw dropped in mock shock, very clearly unafraid of the taunt. You wished you had such confidence in your skill.

Did I even make a wish? You laughed a little at the realization.

"Y/N, do you want to cut the cake?" Giyuu asked, his voice forcing you back to the moment. You nodded at him, suddenly considering the weight of how embarassing it was going to be to cut the cake evenly between so many people-

How embarassing it was going to be to do it infront of Giyu, and how awful his eyes would feel judging your ability to fraction.

In the end it worked fine, though Akaza and Rengoku argued over who had the larger piece. You'd made a rather large cake to begin with. Enough for the smallest bit to go to waste if need be-

They left you a spot next to Giyu on the couch, again. It was thoughtful, you reminded yourself. They wanted you to sit next to your boyfriend, because who wouldn't on such an occasion?

Mitsuri and Obanai tossed you knowing glances as you sat in silence beside him. You were grateful you had so many friends. Sometimes, they didn't notice when you were quiet. Or when you spoke.

They never did with Giyu, either.

Gyokko's gift had been your favourite. A hand made mug, without a fish on it. How thoughtful. Mitsuri's handmade sweater was better, but you knew Gyokko's ego couldn't handle such a blow.

Giyu's was your real favourite. Not intentionally. You'd really hoped it wouldn't have been, but it had been a long time since you'd stopped trying to reason with how the man made you feel.

He wasn't your boyfriend, anymore. He hadn't been for a while, now, even if nobody knew. So maybe it stung worse when his gift was so lack luster. Maybe it felt like penance- you didn't quite know, but you were really happy it was so... thoughtless.

Even if he thought it wasn't. Maybe he did. You didn't know anything about him anymore. Even if he was going to be staying his third night on your living room couch instead of in your bed-

Even if he'd spent the last year of your life making you a worse version of yourself to fit his whims. Unintentional or not, you didn't recognize the hands that pulled the wrapping paper off the thousand piece puzzle.

You broke up with him, you reminded yourself, stop wallowing. It's unbecoming for a woman your age.

You couldn't think about how he treated you while others were over. You'd snap on the spot. Either burst into tears or burst at the seams, and you weren't interested in finding out the difference.

When Muzan and Douma arrived, a (shared) gift of yet another cardigan in tow, all you joked about was how they were an hour late, and it was probably because they were fucking. Though Muzan assured you all it wasn't, Douma couldn't help but maintain the gag for the remainder of the night.

Giyu found it funny, you noted. Like he should. You laughed, like you should, and Mitsuri and Obanai would toss you another glance, you'd thank everyone else for their cardigans, and for being blind, like they should.

Giyu been so mean the whole time. Not even mean like boys like Muzan were normally mean. Not mean like boys like Tengen-

"Y/N, are you alright?" The question had been deafening. You turned to look, knowing the voice you hoped it was hadn't been the asker.

It was Douma. He'd taken Giyu's place beside you.

You didn't know him, but you knew off him. One of Muzan's many friends with unfortunate traits. One of the ones you never really grew to get a long with no matter how many times you sat next to him in the dining hall.

Striking eyes pondered yours, something just shy of sincerity hanging from his long lashes. His blonde hair was pulled back into a stump at the base of his neck. His hoodie dangled off his shoulder. You wondered how he wasn't sweating- because you suddenly were.

"Oh, Douma- yeah- I'm-"

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Even with your convictions, your word to Giyu that things were going to be normal, your assurances to Mitsuri that you wouldn't need her to rescue you if things got rough, you swore it... It all wasn't quite enough.

It was just a tear. Your voice hadn't even broken, your lip hadn't wobbled. You didn't even feel the trademark dryness in your throat.

It just spilled. Right down your cheek and onto your bare thigh.

Your hand rushed to wipe it away, laughing a little too loud to over compensate.

"I'm doing good! What's up?" You rushed. Douma blinked at you, concern on his face, though you and your friends doubted Douma could feel such a thing. Sometimes you all doubted the man could feel anything. He wasn't the type you needed to share your feelings with.

Something in your gut twitched at the beauty of his eyes.

"Hey, Gyutaro?" Douma peeked around you, interrupting the other man's conversation with Tengen. "Give me the keys to your van."

"What for?" Gyutaro grimaced.

"Little smoke break with the birthday girl." Douma whispered, pointing to you.

"A smoke break?" Tengen whispered back, puckering his lips in question.

"Listen, I'd love to have you down there big guy, but if they see all three of us leave with her, Kyojuro and Shinobu are so going to get suspicious." Douma reasoned, eyes darting to the two RA's you kept as friends. Sanemi had begged you to bring even a little bottle. The sober bastard looked miserable between the two, even with his mouth full of cake. "Not to call both of you potheads, but-"

"Jesus Christ, I get it." Gyutaro huffed back, scrambling for his keys. "Talk louder next time, asshole."

"Thank you, thank you." Douma plucked the keys from his hands and stood. He beckoned you toward the door.

You took a look around, some what unwilling. This was your party, after all. How crude to ditch it in favor of smoking with a man you didn't want to know-

The click of the bathroom door drove you to your feet.

Shinobu's eyes caught on you both going to the door, but she said nothing. Verbally, nothing. The look of alarm on her face spoke volumes and wrote letters the likes of which film couldn't process, and words couldn't describe.

Douma wasn't a good guy. Most friend groups had a guy that just... wasn't right. You only invited Douma to things because he came with somebody. You'd never individually reached out him.

You knew Douma wasn't good though. Explicitly. You'd been told from more than one woman who'd seen you sitting near him that he had a habit of making girls cry, and reveling in the sight.

You weren't sure if such an idea appealed to you by nature, or only in the wake of whoever you were without Giyu. You pitied a healthier you that would regret your attraction, and potential action, to Douma. A future you that would beg current you to reconsider her decisions.

You pitied a past you that waited for Giyu, too. Atleast Douma was attracted to you, or to your tear. No man of Douma's breed showed this level of concern without wanting something in return. The douchie-ness of it all was comforting, in a way.

You could deal with Douma. You could deal with objectification and off handed comments. You could deal with him trying to woo you, thinking you're not intentionally falling for some stupid game that he's so big and bright for playing.

You'd played with Doumas before. You'd never gotten around to fucking one- Giyu was something of an act of self preservation from Douma and his ilk.

You hadn't expected Giyu to send you back into their arms full force. The way your body was reeled in response to the man's willingness was disgusting.

"Douma, I'm fine, really. I don't need anyth-"

"Oh shush." Douma interrupted as he opened the door for you.

Chivalry. How classic.

You intentionally lowered the appearance of your motor skills. Suddenly feeling the urge to appear dumb and helpless. The sick look on Douma's face as you situated yourself in the passengers seat meant that you succeeded.

You could feel your eyes glossing over. The kicks of such a stupid game were returning.

Douma at the drivers seat was all too appealing. His had the laissez-faire stance he was supposed to, broad hand flat on the back of your headrest as he pulled out of the parking lot.

Giyu couldn't even drive.

"You know, Y/N, you looked miserable in there." Douma laughed as you all pulled onto the main road.

"I wasn't miserable. I was very... forget it. I wasn't miserable. You don't need to know why." You rushed, forgetting Douma didn't care on an instinctive level. You had to play a careful game to ensure optimal recovery, while achieving optimal self harm. "Do you want me to smoke with you? Where are we going?"

"Ah. You ask a lot of questions." He laughed, hearty and flustered. "No, we're not gonna smoke. I'm going to buy you like... a milkshake or something. So miserable to not eat your own birthday cake." You flinched.

"E-excuse me?"

"I found a rather generous slice in the bathroom trash, buried under a bunch of toilet paper. Figured it belonged to the birthday girl when you were the only one without a plate."

"Why were you going through my trash?" You hissed, thrown off.

"That's not important." Douma waved off, the chain bracelet on his arm shaking to add an unnecessary sound effect. "What is important is that you're a little puker."

"Oh fucking blow me." You wretched at the name. "Aren't you literally another claim away from getting kicked off campus?"

"Aren't you in a car with me right now? All alone?" He returned. It sickened you that he knew his reputation and laughed about such a thing. It should sicken you.

"Yeah. Congrats. You're my get away scheme. I'm not bulimic, fucking prick."

"I'm sure you're not. You are looking... thinner, though. Problems? Feeling the need to control uncontrollable things?"

He spoke like he knew. Most men did, and you weren't going to let such a read positively impact your opinion of Douma's intelligence. Especially not when it was incredibly invasive and said with no tact.

"I dumped Giyu. Did you want to hear that? Does that make you happy? I was miserable. Does knowing I was miserable get you off?"

"No, ha. That's tragic. After hearing about your many... Interests from Gyokko, I was a bit relieved you ended up with someone so... vanilla. Girls like you rarely live to... Thirty?"

"You could've given me a heads up." You snapped.

"Ah. Good boy, not a good fuck?" You went silent. Douma whistled, which turned into a pained hiss. "Oh, that on the head?"

"We didn't fuck." You mumbled.

"Excuse me?"

"We didn't fuck! We didn't fuck! We never fucked!" You screeched, whipping around to the man, Douma remained focused on the road. "Are you happy? Can you hear?!"

"Oh I'm heart broken, Y/N!" Douma raised his voice in turn, not losing his smile.

"God, I can't even- fuck off!"

"Want to tell me about it?" He sang, pulling into a Dairy Queen drive through.

Douma got some chocolate monstrosity. You got a dipped vanilla cone. You felt like sobbing as he handed it to you, but you didn't want to waste such a trump card.

His hand had intentionally grazed yours.

You imagined Giyu back at your dorm. Fretting when Shinobu takes him aside to tell him where you are, to press that he should be concerned because Douma's a freak. You couldn't help but scoff at the conceited fantasy.

Giyu wouldn't be worried. He wouldn't even blink about it.

That's her problem. Like it'd always been.

"I don't even think he ever liked me." You laughed after spilling the entirety of the last year of your life onto the man. The vanilla had melted over your fist. You found more malice toward yourself for being unable to eat something so good. "And I let myself get fucked over. I should've known, ya know. With my track record, there's no way I'd pick somebody who'd treat me well."

"Hmm." Douma hummed, pulling his spoon from between his lips. You prayed he'd have the decency to give you head. Unlikely, you bet. "You're being too hard on yourself. And on that poor cone." The thing had cracked in your grip.

"I'm not going to eat this."

"How wasteful. I spent at least 3 dollars on that." Douma didn't take receipts, or listen when his total was read, you could tell by the the watch on his wrist. "You know, your cake was really good too-"

"Stop being a dick." You rushed. "I don't know where you get off on seeing women suffering, but knock it off about the food." You rolled down the window and splattered the cone across the side walk.

"I don't get off on seeing you suffer. Enmu's into that, not me." Douma assured, tipping back the last of the blizzard. He ran his tongue over his plump lips before discarding the cup back into Gyutaro's already messy and weed ridden van. "I get off on... well. Everything else."

"I'm not fucking you." You assured, not even close to believing yourself. Neither did Douma.

"Like you didn't fuck Giyu?"

"I didn't fuck- well, i- I never fucked Giyu. I just... oh this is so bull shit."

"You just what?" Douma probed.

"Just lost... You're going to think I'm pathe-" You cut yourself off to revel in the feeling of his predatory look.

Nobody had ever made you feel so edible with such little action. It was arguable if you could even consider such a look predatory. Cannibalistic was probably a better word, because there was nothing animal about his intentions.

Human. Douma was scarily human. Widened eyes, and an upper lip twitching to maintain a straight line. Waiting for your words like new hymns-

"I-I just lost my virginity to him. He didn't- he didn't really move-" You smothered a sob with a laugh. You could practically hear Douma's eyes flutter shut. He hummed at the news. Hummed.

"So you've never been fucked." He did have authority to say that, you guessed. It wasn't in question. It was acknowledgement. "How... soft." You grimaced.

"I've had sex-"

"No~" Douma sang, tune evil and ill intentioned. "No you haven't~"

"You talk like you know." You sneered, wiping tears away. "I gave head. He gave me head. He- he fingered me-"

"I could finger you." The tentative clack of his ring against the steering wheel was much more daunting than Giyu had ever seemed. You remembered, subconsciously, why you never fucked a Douma. Maybe Giyu's near chastened levels of love were all you were made for, even if Douma's words made your uterus feel like a welcome ticking clock.

"What?" You croaked.

"It upsets me, almost." Douma sighed, starting the car up again. "I hate to see good things go to waste. Knowing you were... so needy that whole time... and he just ate his fingers?" Douma clicked his tongue.

"Don't pity me-"

"I'm pitying your pussy." Douma faked a tear. "A waiting college girl going unfucked? Thats a travesty."

"We're. Not. Fucking." You clarified to Douma, leaning toward him. "Stop trying to make me out to be- easy, and yourself to be some- sex god-"

"Y/N, One: I'm incredibly easy. I find no shame in that." Douma assured. " and two: I'm not some sex god... I'm the sex god." He laughed.

"God, you're fucking cring-"

"Do you want to fuck?" Douma asked, and the words ran over your face like a wash of static. It was numbing, not in an apathetic way, but in a relieving way. Like an ibuprofen right before it thinned your blood.

"We can't-"

"You're right. This van is disgusting. I wouldn't fuck in here, either." Douma laughed. "Is Giyu staying over tonight?"

It was a loaded question. The tone of his voice left nothing hidden about his intentions.

The idea of Giyu hearing you be eaten was-

You shuddered, shaking your head. The vapid you craved your sudden open door to emotional revenge.

He wouldn't even care.

"Yes. He had to be-"

"What if-" Douma interrupted. "What if we make him jealous? You have a lot of malice toward the guy, yeah?" He verbalized your thoughts.

"That won't work. I don't want to hurt him-"

"Oh it will, and fuck that guy." Douma hissed. "In fact, you should let me handle everything. You've worked that little head of yours into a real fog, right? I can make it a really good fog."

"You won't be able to make me cum."

"You have a vibrator, right? I promise I'm more than capable." He laughed.

Saying goodbye to Shinobu had been the worst of the bunch. Though everyone threw you confused glances as they left, Shinobu's had been particularly knowing. You were breaking girl code. You felt like shit, deservingly so.

Douma, however, sat right next to Giyu on the couch, none the wiser. The two conversing like Douma didn't know Giyu was negligent, and like Giyu wasn't sensing something off about the man being there longer than everyone else.

Douma's move choice of Cruel Intentions was very silent.

Giyu didn't have particularly strong feelings about Douma, but Giyu also didn't look known danger in the eye. He was very against that, in fact. A common point of contention. You knew it hurt him when you ignored his look of questioning.

"Why is he here?" He'd whisper as Douma locked the door to the restroom. "Didn't you say you hated him?"

"I- he's just hanging out for a bit. He did me a solid earlier."

Giyu realized a bit meant the night when Cruel Intentions was over, and he watched the two of you dissapear into your bedroom.

"I can't believe you were telling the truth." Douma laughed quietly as he closed the door. "I figured he might get a little territorial... but nothing. Ouch."

"Thanks." You sneered.

"Don't mention it." He shrugged off his jacket, laying it on top of your computer chair. "I can't believe that. Seriously." He seemed genuinely shocked.

"Yeah." You mumbled, trying to mask the hurt that came from the validation of your pain. It was humiliating, as a woman, to admit to such a lack of control over men. It was particularly hard admitting it to Mitsuri-

Douma was easy. He'd never get the problem in full. He did a quick survey over your room while you climbed onto your bed.

You never doubted that your final straw had been drawn.

"You know," Douma starred at you with wide eyes. You wondered, with his many oddities, how he'd managed to get near any woman that wasn't as deranged as you currently were. "I'm a really good kisser." He bragged.

"I'm sure you are-"

A soft hand grabbed your ankle, yanking you from your mattress and back toward Douma. Your ass made contact with his jean clad groin, your legs split to reveal what little your outfit left to the imagination.

It was only when his height kept your feet dangling just off the ground that you considered how much physical power Douma held over you. How much stronger he was. How he could do anything he wanted to you, and planned to do so.

It made your pussy clench to think he could've done this to you at any point. That he definitely wanted to.

His fingers toyed with the already scrunched up hem of your dress, pushing it up to the end of your spine so he'd have every bit of fat on your ass available to his palm.

Your panties didn't even feel like they were there.

"What are you doing?"

"Foreplay." He hummed.

"The last I checked, we're not having sex." His thumb ran down the wet fabric covering your slit. Humiliation burned through your body as it loosed a twitch.

"You don't want it?" He asked, thumb pressing the fabric of your panties just past your entrance. He toyed with the spot, wiggling the covered pad around to fluster you. "Don't want to get fucked proper?"

You stayed silent as Douma's fingers hooked in the band of your panties and shimmied them off your hips.

He groaned at the sight of your sticky cunt, wetness threading the organ to your panties. Your need was silent, proof on your lips-

"I- fuck I do." Desperation had been a trait you'd been warned against for all of your life. It was one of those unattractive woman things, but that's all Giyu had been good for. Making you desperate. Part of you wondered if he was doing somebody a solid- lowering your expectations and sending you back to the wolves.

Douma was a good kisser, and he was good with his hands. Which sucked, because there was something very upsetting about such an awful man being so predisposed to making you aroused-

But his tongue was dominating yours, leaving no crook of your mouth untouched, yet his movements were impossibly gentle- almost aware of how you needed to be treated so you wouldn't run before he could fuck the use out of you.

His hands were no different, toying with your chest. He'd invaded your top only seconds before, and yet he drove your nipples hard instantly. Giyu had been fond of your chest as well, but this went beyond fondness. It was almost scary how well Douma was playing your body, and he hadn't even fucked you, yet. Hadn't even seen the nipples he was bullying, but knew just how to tease them.

Douma had a sickening habit. Every moan you'd make, He'd trade you one back. Not a genuine one, but a mimic, as though to mock your reaction. To remind you of your stone cold denial of him earlier, and how stupid you looked wailing under his hand now.

When his fingers went entirely inside, it was even better. This was sex, you figured. The little burn but commitment Giyu had never wanted to give. You had begged him for months. Pleaded, only giving in when he wanted to touch. Always left waiting for the once in a blue moon he bothered.

Douma had been so easy, and felt so good- his fingers pounding your needy cunt with verve while his lips grinned against your ear with elation. The warmth of his jeaned knee- the sight of his bangs dangling infront of your own crossing eyes-

"Virgin tight cunt. I can't believe you're real. You must be insatiable, now."

Douma's cock felt like salvation. Like a water bottle after a drought. It slid into your begging pussy with a wet squelch. Douma's body warmth felt like a fire in a snow logged cabin. His right hand kept your hands locked between the two of you, his left yanking your hair back so he can mar your neck- a mark for everyday you'd gone with out. Tallys for your unwillingly abstinence.

He'd keep that number in mind. You needed a cum for every one you'd been deprived of.

"Give me my name, Doll. Whose cock are you creaming on?"

"D-Douma's-!" Another one ripped through you, Douma spreading your legs with his so you got the full package. You didn't even know your cunt was capable of housing such a beast- let alone so many loads-

By the time Douma had finished, you weren't of this world anymore. You'd cried and begged, came and went- and you rested mindlessly with four or so batches of his seed stored lovingly in your womb.

Giyu hadn't been standing outside of the door when Douma walked out, but he'd been close enough for Douma to know he and you hadn't just been heard- you'd been listened to.

Giyu was disheveled clearly having attempted rest at some point through the fuckfest three doors down, but unable to succeed.

"I didn't take you for such a... forgetful lover." Douma taunted, laughing as he wiped off one of your many orgasms from his fingers.

"Keep your remarks to yourself."

"Keep your girlfriend satisfied." Giyu grimaced at the response. Douma merely smiled. "You know, I feel like I should tell you something right now, but I just can't place it."

"I may not be with her, but I know you're bad for her. We all know you're bad for her. Back. Off."

"You're a complete moron." Douma sighed. "For that, I've completely forgotten whatever well meaning man on man advice I had for you." He threw the wadded up toilet paper toward Giyu and turned back toward your room.

Giyu wanted to say something, wanted to be angry, wanted to lash out- but he simply turned his head down. Douma knew what you meant, then.

"I feel like I've seen the top of his head more than his eyes.'

Douma couldn't see just what you saw in the man. Giyu was attractive, sure, so maybe, Douma considered, you were just greviously insecure, and Giyu had been nice in the right moment.

He wouldn't fuck you, or fight for you- hell, Giyu could barely keep the erection your emotional demise had caused hidden.

Douma rolled his eyes. His ringed finger tapped against your door frame. He turned his back to Giyu with no fear. A talent he had to start fucking into you at the next convenience.

"I'll keep your girlfriend warm til you figure out how to do it yourself, yeah? Later, Tomioka."

[montammil]

June of Doom Day 18 - "I'm fine."

| Self-defense | Allergies | Headache |

Characters: Lawrence, Marshall

Just a hurt/comfort fic with Lawrence (carewhumper). May have passed out during a blood draw today, but good news is I'm switching onto sub-q injections, so I'm pretty hyped for that.

CW: Carewhumper, stockholm syndrome, parental whumper, infantilzing whumper

...

The last thing Marshall wanted was to let Lawrence know he had bad allergies and headaches, so he kept quiet when he needed medicine or stayed in bed when the headaches kicked in. Lawrence had just started trusting him alone on his own again, and he didn't want to ruin that progress. So he suffered through the pain, waiting until the symptoms subsided again.

Usually it wouldn't be an issue. He could power through the allergy season and his migraines would calm down by themselves. It was nothing he wasn't used to dealing with.

But this year was different.

For some reason, his symptoms were getting worse every day. The air outside was chilly, making his nose run all the time, which made his sinuses hurt worse than usual.

Maybe it was because he used to be living in the big city, and now he was living in an area surrounded by much more nature than he was used to.

Who knows, but whatever it was, it was irritating as fuck.

His nose was stuffed constantly. It made him lightheaded and dizzy, and he would accidentally walk into the walls. His headache worsened the more he sneezed, and he would wince just from the sound of his own voice.

Talking aggravated his throat, and every swallow felt like sandpaper. He was starting to get anxious from all this discomfort.

While Lawrence was at work, Marshall figured he could make use of the house to make himself more comfortable. He raided the bathroom cupboards and drawers for any sort of allergy medicine, but everything was locked, as per usual.

He huffed. He supposed he'd have to make due without it.

Marshall put a humidifier in the living room to make his nose less dry and grabbed an extra blanket to curl up in. He decided to make a blanket fort to read in, so he spent his time carefully laying out the cushions and pillows in a circle on the floor. After he was satisfied with how it looked, he went back to his room to grab his books, blankets, and a flashlight.

He was careful to set everything up in a way that wouldn't collapse, as he planned on spending most of his day inside it.

It looked flimsy and rushed compared to Lawrence's blanket forts, but it would do.

He hid his head beneath the mountain of pillows, sighing in content at the moisture in the air. This made it much easier to breathe. He blew his nose, which only helped slightly, and opened one of his books.

By the time Marshall had finished, he fell asleep with his book splayed open on his chest.

He used to get nothing but nightmares every night, but once he accepted his life with Lawrence, things were starting to turn up. Now it was only occasionally he'd get one. He considered that a success.

When he woke up, he saw a tall figure standing in the entrance to his fort. He flinched back until he realized it was only Lawrence, who was giving him an amused smile.

"Hi, kiddo. I see you've been busy today."

"Hey." Marshall sniffled. "Uh, I was just reading. Sorry, I guess I kind of took over the whole room. I'll clean it up."

Lawrence crawled under the fort to join him. "Oh, don't even worry about it. I like seeing you do your own thing when I'm away." He put a hand to Marshall's forehead, frowning in concern. "Are you feeling sick at all?"

Marshall leaned into the touch. He really did appreciate when Lawrence checked up on him, though sometimes it annoyed him. "I think it's just allergies or something. I kept my window open all day yesterday and forgot that ragweed is, like, everywhere at this time of year." He sighed when Lawrence's frown deepened. "I'm fine."

"My poor baby." The blond combed the hair from his face. "How about I grab my laptop, and we watch a movie in here? And I'll fix us some dinner."

It was rare he allowed Marshall to have food anywhere that wasn't at the table, but he enjoyed being spoiled every now and then. Marshall nodded eagerly.

Lawrence chuckled. "Alright, I'll be back." He pressed a kiss to his forehead and then slipped out of the fort. Marshall sat up and watched his silhouette leave.

He listened to the faint sounds of dishes clanking and the tap turning on, letting his eyes close. His head ached, but at least he was breathing through his nose again. He made himself as small as possible beneath the sheets and buried his face in his pillow.

A few minutes passed before he heard Lawrence return, pulling him back into reality. He shuffled in after him, placing the laptop in between them. He then handed him his dinner plate.

"What is this?"

"Chicken couscous."

"Which is...?"

"Okay, Mr. My-entire-diet-consists-of-chicken-nuggets-and-Kraft-macaroni, it's kind of like pasta. Just try it." Marshall pouted at him but did so anyway, taking a small bite. He hummed at the flavor, nodding in approval. Lawrence grinned and ruffled his hair. "See? It's not that hard to eat something other than chicken nuggets, is it?"

"I can't believe you're mocking me while I'm dying of allergies," Marshall joked.

Lawrence perked up. "Speaking of." He grabbed a bottle of meds from his pocket and shook two pills into his palm. "Take those, and your allergies should clear up in a bit."

Marshall took them with the glass of water he was handed, and then dove back into eating. He watched Lawrence scroll through a bunch of movies. It took Marshall a moment to figure out he was waiting for him to pick one.

"Finding Nemo?"

Lawrence smiled. "Good choice, kiddo." He clicked on the movie and picked up his food, leaning back against the propped up pillows. The younger man mirrored him, tucking himself beneath the blankets again.

Halfway through the movie, he could feel his eyes getting heavy. He stifled a yawn, hoping Lawrence wouldn't notice. But of course, he did.

The blond pulled him closer, allowing him to rest his head on his shoulder. He played with his hair, making Marshall's eyelids droop. Marshall pushed his forehead against his shoulder in attempt to ease the headache trying to make an appearance again.

"Get some rest. I don't mind."

Marshall shifted uncomfortably. "'Kay, Dad."

Once the word slipped past his lips, he tensed and slowly glanced at Lawrence to gauge his reaction. Lawrence beamed and planted a kiss on his head.

Marshall pretended to be disgusted and squirmed in his hold. Lawrence laughed. "Oh, Marshie, don't be like that. I thought you'd never say that." He peppered his face in kisses, his slight facial hair scratching him, proof he hadn't shaved in record time.

"Stoooppp!" Marshall giggled. He hid under the covers again, his cheeks reddening from embarrassment. As humiliating as Lawrence could be, his real parents hadn't given him this kind of comfort in years. "You're evil."

"Say it again, please?"

"No."

"Pretty please? With a cherry on top?"

"That you're evil?"

"Marshaaalll..."

Marshall secretly enjoyed how Lawrence seemed more wrapped around his finger than the other way around. He could ask for anything and the blond would give it to him without a second thought, as long as it wasn't freedom. And honestly? He truly didn't want that anymore.

This felt more freeing than being trapped in his old house, with all his worries and fears from the outside world slipping away.

"You're so annoying... Dad."

Lawrence buried his nose in Marshall's hair. He could feel his smile against his scalp. "I love you so much, kiddo."

Marshall stopped himself from reciprocating the words. He felt like Lawrence would have a heart attack right then and there if he did. Instead, he just basked in the comfort, listening to Lawrence's steady heartbeat and the movie playing in the background.

[velvet-vox]

(This post is wrong as all hell. Please, only read the notes and reblogs of this mess.)

The Confession Discourse.

(Imagine lacking so much time and will that you take almost two months to answer one single rebuttal)

This post is simultaneously a follow up to my previous confession on @md-confessions and a response to @oldmanjenkins985 's confession on that same ask blog.

Originally, I wanted this whole argument to be a @md-confessions blog's exclusive thing, but I was too slow, and the confession box was closed, so now, after delaying it for weeks, I've finally decided to make my response to the whole thing, while also keeping some unsaid stuff for myself for when I'll eventually finish writing my giant critique of Doll, who at this point I'm not sure if I want to publish before episode 8 or not. You can find the links to all of the confessions that I'm talking about right above, in the coloured words.

I think that the best way to start this response is by going through @oldmanjenkins985 's confession and rebutting each and every point with my opinion, then I'll start speaking more generally on the whole subject matter while providing the reasons that drove me to make that original confession.

Read and Rebuttal.

"So, basically the way you talk about rewriting the story is that you just want an almost completely different story than the one we got. Getting rid of the school elements? Say goodbye to episode 3 and 4. 2 can still happen but there's some stuff that needs to be cut and stuff to fill those gaps."

Alright, so, to be perfectly clear, I wasn't saying that I wanted an entirely different story than the one we got. Originally, while making that confession, I was under the assumption that it was always Liam's intention to eventually escalate the story to "end of the universe" proportions, and that the reason why he decided to rush so much of the plot was to get to that aforementioned conflict with the Absolute Solver. Therefore, my suggestion was that, since Vickers seemed more interested in the apocalyptic aspects of his story and didn't have the time or resources to flesh out anything else, he should have sacrificed the whole school setting earlier on (since, despite how much I like it, it was kind of useless after the pilot, where it set up Uzi's character and flaws. It was semi useful in ep 2 and 3 to also set up Doll's character, but I'm currently advocating her erasure, so those instances don't matter to our argument) and just went straight to the things that he actually wanted to tell.

However, as I've learned more about the production history of this show, I no longer believe that to be the case; the Absolute Solver was always a planned thing, but not in the way it is currently iterated; I'm sure Liam rewrote the entire plot so many times, that, whatever he had in mind at the beginning, it's so wildly different from the final product that it might as well be a completely different show.

The school elements were probably very relevant to the first few drafts, but in the final take, they are completely disregardable, and I know that because the show itself quickly disregards a lot of those elements in episode 4, so this isn't even an idea I came up with in my spare time, Murder Drones itself instilled this notion in my head to begin with.

"but 3 and 4 not happening AT ALL like they do, that would have serious ripple effects."

Duh, that's what happens when you change a part of your story, it usually changes your whole story, even if in minor ways.

My main goal here was to make the story of Murder Drones simpler so that it better sticks to the eight 20 minutes long episodes.

In his current form, the story of Murder Drones is too big to be fleshed out in an eight-episode season, we aren't even sure if there'll be a season 2, and even if there was, season 1 is so crammed already that episodes 6, 7, and most likely 8 feel like the ending of a second season to me; that's just how crazy the pacing is.

"And episode 5/6 would probably go down differently as well since Doll wouldn't be there to steal the keybug."

Have you ever wondered why Doll didn't steal the keybug back in episode 4 when Uzi found it in that abandoned warehouse? Neither N nor V were there to help Uzi in case Doll decided to do the same thing that she did to Cyn in episode 6; Doll didn't even need to go straight into the Cabin Fever's labs (even if that's exactly what she ended up doing in ep 6), she could have just simply disappeared into the woods; the main gang doesn't know where her hideout is, therefore, she could have just stalled with the keybug until she figured out a trap or a setup (the one thing she has been consistently excelling at) to get rid of the trio (at least temporarily) and enter Cabin Fever labs to find what she was looking for.

So, why doesn't she do it? Well, it's simple: it's because she doesn't know what the keybug does at this point of the story.

Doll only learns about the secrets hiding down in the elevator shaft off camera through Tessa, who then engages her to steal the keybug from Uzi in episode 5.

Therefore, excluding the fact that yes, episode 2 through 6 would play out differently, Doll, in regards to her choice to steal the bug, it's only a tool for Cyn; and while this wouldn't feel like it if the show was better paced, due to the fact that our protagonists immediately teleport to the labs, and the way her arc plays out in the next two episodes, she also feels like a tool for the plot as well.

Again, all of this would have been perfectly fine with better pacing or more spotlight on Doll as a character, but that wasn't the case, so moving on:

"And Doll just being a plot device and not a character? Don't even get me started on that."

She is a character and a plot device, a lot of fictional characters are simultaneously plot devices, especially protagonists and antagonists, the trick stems in the writer's ability of masking the second component and, ideally, even the first.

Storytelling is all about manipulation; how capable you are to make the audience buy the events being told even if they are completely fake.

Some characters achieve this narrative illusion almost perfectly, while others like Doll are harder to pass by if their writing doesn't hold up.

You can fault me for my excessive scrutiny, but I'm going to explain how I got to this point at the end of the rebuttal.

"She's one of the most tragic and well written characters of the show and I LOVE her.

If it was just for that, I love her as well, but I don't find her to be one of the most well written characters in the show, far from it; I actually consider her to be a hot writing mess, though that doesn't stop me from thinking about her basically every single day.

Do I find her to be one of the most tragic characters in the show? Objectively speaking, no. A lot of other characters had it worse than her, Alice and Beau are technically more tragic characters than Doll, as they never had any other choice at every single turn. V had it worse, N had it worse, Cyn had it worse, Tessa had it worse, heck, you can easily make the argument that J of all people had it worse than Doll. By comparison, if you lack the emotional intelligence to understand that, just because one person's trauma is worse than someone else's it doesn't mean that the other person's trauma doesn't matter, as all life scarring experiences affect us in an indiscernible way, that invalidates certain statements such as "well that person clearly had it worse than you, yet you became a sh####er person than them, so your trauma doesn't matter because you could have just simply overcame it like that one person did, but you didn't because you were always a jerk", Doll just looks like a giant a#####e.

Is her tragedy the one that affected me the most? (Looks back at the several months of emotional damage preceding and succeeding her death) Yes.

I feel like that's partially due to how much I personally relate to Doll, but even if I am fully willing to admit that V's entire life story is technically far more sad than Doll's, I just have way more traits in common with Doll, plus it also helps the fact that Doll (to me) is the most down to earth character in the entire cast. Her serious demeanor may alienate her from the show's tone, but it helps her to be more likable to me, as she, more than any other character, feels like a real world person that reacts accordingly to all of the nonsense and murder happening around her. We don't get enough of the human characters for me to feel like: "Yeah, this guy is definitely me if I was in Murder Drones, I would do the same things and react in the same way to all the horrors happening around me". I like Uzi's and Tessa's quirkiness, and I could be considered a weird-boy even if I never was ostracized in school or emotionally neglected by my parents, but I don't personally relate to their antics and their comedic reactions to the horror moments pale in comparison to Doll's genuine reactions to pretty much anything. Also, while all Murder Drones fans can claim to share some traits with N and V, none of them can really say that they personally relate to being a disposable slave; therefore points to Doll being the most grounded Murder Drones character.

So yeah, Doll is a very tragic antagonist, but I am a Wakfu fan, thus I know the secret ingredients behind a truly magnificent sympathetic villain, and I can say that Doll lacks a lot of the pieces that make someone like Nox such a heart breaking rollercoaster of emotions. Of course, I wouldn't expect you to know what I'm talking about since Wakfu is a pretty obscure franchise, I'm only mentioning it for propaganda reasons, but nonetheless, I'm pretty confident in saying that I know what differentiates a good sympathetic villain from a truly great one; Doll has a lot of pieces of the latter but she ends up falling into the former due to various reasons, most noticeable reason of all being that she never feels like the protagonist of her own story, just a side character that refused to remain as such.

Loving her doesn't stop me from thinking about her critically. Soon we are going to discuss what her place in the narrative is and why it doesn't work in the way it was intended to.

"Her flaws especially."

I would really like to open up a tangent here, but I feel like that's a discussion for another day; so sure, you love her flaws, go on.

"She's very much a mirror to Uzi. Both had their parents (or parent in Uzi's case) get killed by disassembly drones, both are infected with the Solver, and both want to figure out what the hell it is and how to fix themselves. The difference between the two, is that Doll SAW V rip her parents apart while laughing."

There are way more differences than that, but I'm sure you already knew that, sorry for being incapable to pick up on sarcasm.

"Uzi was likely only a baby when Nori died, and even if she wasn't she didn't personally see her die."

I have nothing to say here, but I thought that it would be better to separate this sentence from the next one, just to narrow down the focus.

"That was what let her get over her grudge, because she had a grudge against a concept, while Doll had a grudge against a person."

This sentence doesn't make any sense to me. People can absolutely have a grudge against a concept, and Doll's hatred for the Disassembly Drones being targeted rather than vague like Uzi's hatred is (even if Uzi doesn't hate the Disassembly Drones, though I'm not sure what that scene with Uzi in episode 2 "The humans sent you without a communication relay and reformatted your memories to soup. Covering their tracks means that they are past negotiating. Not like they tried negotiating with my mum" was supposed to mean. Uzi in general is such a strange character to me, weird-girl my a##, Uzi stans, your daughter is straight up an enigma) it's not what allowed one to get over their grudge compared to the other.

One example of this is Bradford Buzzard from the DuckTales remake: he was traumatised as a kid by her strict grandma, who forced him to go on dangerous adventures with her, so when he grew up started hating the entire concept of adventures, and sought for a way to eliminate all unpredictable elements from the world and his life. This is only one example but you get the idea.

To be fair, you did mention the fact that you were tired when you started writing this, so I'm pretty sure that you weren't reflecting carefully when you wrote this part, plus once a confession is sent you can't correct it anymore, as such, I believe you would have probably changed this sentence if you taught about it a little longer. Therefore, I'll just let this one slide.

"Doll continuously decides to work by herself as a result, unable to overcome her hatred for V (very understandably mind you)."

Absolutely, screw all those people who said that Doll was being unreasonable by not joining sides with Uzi, 90% of all normal human beings wouldn't want to stay anywhere close to their parents murderer, especially Doll, who for some reason is the most realistic member of the cast, even if she isn't human. Plus, if you believe the theory that Doll's parents were killed during the pilot (there are some plot holes in the timeline of events for both this theory and the "child Doll saw her parents die" theory, but that's something for another day), then it's technically Uzi the one who created her rival, which would contradict the "Doll is completely consumed by revenge" allegations, as Doll weirdly enough sympathizes with Uzi and *insert here a giant analysis of Lizzie's line in Episode 3 "Dude, no one is gonna notice she is missing. Just do your thing, and I'll let in V" and how many questions it raises* despite her knowing that she was the one to let in her parents killer.

But ok, this is completely unrelated, let's move on.

"This ultimately ends up getting her killed because she alone could not take on the Solver, a threat we time and time again have seen to only be stoppable when people work together against it. When Uzi and N work together in ep 2, Doll protecting Lizzy in the same episode, in ep 4 when N helps Uzi regain control, in ep 7 when Nori and N fight back against possessed Uzi. Then think about all the times it succeeded. In ep 5 at the Gala it had Tessa alone, in ep 7 it had N and Uzi on the ropes when they were alone, in ep 4 when Uzi was on a rampage and V was trying to kill her rather than help her."

Uh uhm.

"Doll's death doesn't ruin her character, it IS her character (might be overexaggerating there but I really liked that sentence). Tragedy and bad choices stemming from reasonable thinking. A result of her going alone, trusting nobody."

I don't know what to say here.

At first I was like "Ehhhhhhhhh, you are kinda right but not in a positive way" but then I realised that there are a lot of right and wrong things in this paragraph, and in order to pick them apart I would have to go through a massive side tangent that would take focus away from the rest of the confession, as such, I'm just going to leave this as it is and maybe I will address it in a future post.

"Also, we don't even know that she's dead! Yes, it's likely she is, but Cyn only swallowed her core. It's possible it gets thrown up in ep 8 and she gets to continue living."

We'll see, but if I was the one who killed Doll in such a dramatic and gruesome way I wouldn't have her revived right away in the following episode, where there are already a lot of ongoing plot lines that need to be tied up; nor would I do this if I want for the stakes to remain high.

Sorry for bumming down your optimism, but I really struggle to see how Doll could possibly bounce back up when she was just brutally executed in the most anticlimactic way possible.

"Don't judge her before the season is done."

I will judge Doll based on what's already present in the episodes because I have very valid reasons to believe that her arc was being made up as the story went on; planner and pantsie are two different terms used to identify the writing style of a writer, the former is for writers who spend time planning out the various aspects of their stories before releasing them, the latter is for writers who make up their story as they go along; both writing styles have their advantages and disadvantages, and writers can actually adoperate both simultaneously if they need to, and that's what Liam Vickers did: he planned out a lot of aspects of his series (at least in the final rewrite), like the Tessa reveal and the Solver mystery, and made up other aspects as the episodes went along, like Doll's entire storyline.

Getting the obvious differences in characterisation between Pilot and series Doll out of the way, have you ever wondered why we get the reveal that Doll's parents have died both in episode 2 and 3? It would have been a lot better if it was just revealed to us in The Promening, after all Liam's writing is hardly ever on the nose when it comes to this type of stuff, why repeat to the audience information that they already know?

That scene with Lizzy and Doll in episode 2 is in general one of the most forced scenes in the show; it serves his purpose of setting up Doll and Lizzie's characters alright, but it doesn't make a lot of sense if you start peeling away at its layers for a while.

I can and will judge Doll as she is right now if her story was being made up as the show went along, I've seen good pantsie writing in my life, and I can usually tell at which point the writer lost sight of his original idea and it's starting to fall apart.

"If you like the series how it is, Doll and the school elements are VITAL. Irreplacable. And if you really don't like how the series went, as it seems you do considering you think it'd be better if the entire thing was rewritted, make a fanfiction"

I like how the series is, but I really like how Murder Drones could have been.

Ideally, in a perfect universe, we would get two 20 episodes long seasons that set up all of the things that have happened in these 8 episodes and also give us plenty of time to flesh out all of the cast, the world, and look at side stories that reinforce the main themes of the series or give us some breathing room between the big events.

Of course, we don't live in that perfect universe; we only have 8 episodes to tell a story, thus, we need to be very thoughtful of what we put inside the plot because we don't have a lot of time to flesh everything out.

Probably, for the story that Liam wanted to tell, 16 or 12 episodes would have been enough, even if it still seems a little bit scuffed, but again, we don't have those, and he should have paid more attention to that fact.

We'll circle back at this in just a moment.

"Whew, that was...a lot. I think you can tell I really like this show. Again, I apologize if I come off as rude or pompous or whatever."

No problems. You sounded genuine.

"I'm just very passionate about the show. I don't think it doesn't have flaws, it is rushed and Liam isn't one for super fine worldbuilding details, but ultimately those barely affect it for me. They dock like, half a point combined for me."

And if that's the case, good for you. I'm happy that you can still enjoy the show the way it is because I've become pretty miserable as a result of picking apart all of its flaws and wishing for them to not exist.

The real Reasons.

Now that I have taken apart all of the individual pieces of the confession, it's finally time for me to provide you with some answers.

The main reason why I wrote that original confession was because of this Other confession, that basically pointed out the fact that confessions as a whole started s#####g ass, and it got me into questioning if I could write something better.

I had a couple of ideas I wanted to discuss, and threw a couple of them into that original text, hoping that it would live up to my standards. @oldmanjenkins985 read it, disagreed with what it had to say, and that's how we've got to this point.

As I have stated in the first part of my rebuttal, I used to believe that Liam Vickers was so interested in his end of the universe storyline that he wanted to go for it at any cost, even if that meant skipping important character work and rushing through most of the plot points he had in mind.

With that assumption, I thought that all the other ideas, like Doll, Alice, Beau and the sentinels, were just things that Liam came up with as production progressed and thought they were too cool to disregard, so he kept them. He kept them even if he didn't have the time to flesh them out or the courage to simplify his story so that we, the audience, wouldn't feel robbed.

I really love Doll.

I can't stress this enough, I love Doll way more than I love Murder Drones.

But exactly because I love her so much, I need to keep her at harm's length; she's not a real person, she's a fictional character, and as such, she can and should be eliminated from the story if the final product would benefit from it.

I'm someone who's willing to make the necessary sacrifices for the sake of art, even if it means eliminating good ideas that can't be done justice in their execution, and I believe Doll to be the biggest example of this due to her own niche role in the narrative and how said niche exists only because of her.

Let me explain: Doll is the main side antagonist of the first season of the show.

Let me repeat that: Doll is the main, SIDE antagonist, of the first season of Murder Drones.

You don't just "make" a side antagonist and drop it into the story because he's important, no, you have to consciously make room for their existence because they are not as necessary to the story as the protagonists, the supporting characters, or the main antagonist. The niche that Doll fills in the story is one that innately benefits her and her only, so she needs extra character work to make sure that she feels connected and important to everything else going on.

Alice and Beau are roadblocks, you could say that they had a lot of untapped potential, but the show never teased us with said potential in the way that it teased us with Doll's, so they don't feel like wasted characters because that's all they were ever meant to be.

I would cut Lizzie and Alice out of the story to give Doll more development, but I wouldn't cut Doll out of the story to give Lizzie and Alice more development.

Two out of three fulfill their roles decently and extra screen time isn't mandatory, the third one has a role that exists only to benefit them and as such they should be given the necessary screen time to make their presence not feel like a burden.

Another thing that I've noticed while writing "The insane, untapped potential of Rebecca from Murder Drones" (which I encourage everyone reading this to check out, as I consider it to be my masterpiece), is that Doll doesn't really tie all that well into any of the themes of abuse present in the show; sure, there's her relationship with Lizzy, but you can interpret that in a miriad of ways, some of which being more healthy than the others, and a lot of them even positioning Doll as the abuser and Lizzy as the still guilty yet repented victim.

Side antagonists or just general side characters whose stories are focused on exist to expand the themes or the world of the setting, and they need to be included into the narrative only if you have the time to focus on them, otherwise they need to remain on the concept board.

My obsession with Doll isn't a temporary fluke, it's going to carry on for the rest of my life.

But guess what? I've been hyper obsessed with a lot of things in my life, Murder Drones being one of them; when the dust will be settled, the only thing that will matter is the quality of the actual show, and in his current state that future isn't looking so bright.

I've seen a lot of Murder Drones creators losing a lot of interest for the show after episode 7, and I myself have lost my suspension of disbelief after having lots of time to internalise it.

I'm not sure if anyone reading this has noticed it yet, but ever since episode 7, the world of Murder Drones has become ten times smaller. We've erased Tessa, the school setting, JCJenson and Doll from the equation; many people now believe that the planet is going to be destroyed and only the most relevant characters will survive its collapse, thus eliminating the entire worker drones society from the plot; all human life is most likely dead and the planet Earth was revealed to have been destroyed back in episode 6; it really feels like with every passing installment the Murder Drones universe just keeps getting smaller as the stakes get higher, and I don't think that's a good thing, it actively harms the potential and creativity of Murder Drones as a series, and it makes it harder for the fear of the unknown to have any sort of impact when the universe is so claustrophobic that it's far easier to assume that all of the undiscovered mysteries are just the angles of the room.

If I had to compare Murder Drones to any other series, I would say that the Epic Mickey franchise is the best way to describe how I feel about it.

Both series are a collection of pretty cool concepts and have a lot of angsty and edgy material as a part of their world building, and both of them execute some of their individual ideas perfectly while the overall product misses the mark of a masterpiece.

And while Epic Mickey is held back by the poor gameplay of both installments and the poor writing of the second one, Murder Drones is held back by a lack of focus and restraint from his creator.

People often point to the founders of Glitch when they try to justify the rushed pacing of the story, but in my opinion, if the higher ups of Glitch were truly responsible for their show's shortcomings, at this point at least one of the members of the crew should have made us aware, and this reasoning still doesn't take away the blame from Liam, as he still has mostly unchecked creative freedom.

Remember that video on Liam's official YouTube channel titled "So I've been given too much creative power and made a show"?

Well, you know what the saying says.

"With great power comes great responsibility"

And this is true even for art.

[sforzesco]

how long do you typically spend drawing a comic page? I'm a perfectionist and I have a hard time keeping a reasonable working pace for comics

so I’m actually going to not answer this one (the answer is both less and more time than people think, and it depends) but instead I’m going to give you some advice on how to deal with perfectionism when it comes to making comics

the first thing is to see if you can kill your inner perfectionist, which basically means, can you get comfortable with imperfections? this is something that can be difficult to do, but it can also really take some weight off your shoulders if you can look at a line that’s a little squiggly instead of perfectly smooth and move on from it. there’s a whole page, a single wonky line, is like. fine, especially if you’re doing more than one page.

if not, that’s okay! we’re moving on to the 75%-80% rule, which is: figure out what giving 100% in art looks like for you, then find out what giving 70%-80% looks like. As a person, you can probably consistently give 80% to any given illustration, but doing 100% all the time is going to fuck you up in the long run. If you can get comfortable consistently giving a 80%, you can then decide when you want to crank it up for dramatic effect, or you can save going all in on something fun or a big project. if perfectionism is a hard habit to break, instead try it reframe it as giving a ‘perfect’ 80% instead of 100. it’s all about that overall visual consistency, baby!

comics can feel like doing seven or eight individual illustrations on a page (panels) and some people definitely tackle them this way, and that makes learning what you can consistently give without wanting to shove your hands into cement very important. If every panel is a solid 80%, the entire page looks Good (which means the entire page is working at 100% because you have visual consistency/coherency and that’s what matters)

ideally, you reach a point where you can gauge what a good 80% of what you can give looks like across an entire sequence. for me, Trikaranos is operating at 80% while Ex Voto is 70% (part of it is that Trikaranos is more demanding, while Ex Voto is more casual and vibes based, but for both I put a lot more work into formatting and lettering)

part of what can help with all of this is figuring out a good work pipeline that encourages finishing up a sequence to keep you from getting stuck agonizing on small details

a decent one is this

thumbnails > rough pencils > do tight pencils where you think you’ll need it (I do tight pencils on facial expressions, furniture if there are bodies on it, and perspective shots) > inks > colors > lettering

adjust it based on whatever your own needs are, etc.

what’s imperative to this is that you don’t do the pencils > inks > coloring stages in sequential order, but instead jump around so that you don’t burn your energy through it (in that there’s a drop in quality as you either get tired or start to rush). Jumping around lets you spread out your high energy points and it picks up the slack for when you want to just get it done, but also it forcibly keeps you from spending too much time on one specific thing. (which is why breaking it up into stages is important, instead something like finishing one whole page from pencils to colors and then doing the next one)

when I do single page comics, I usually alternate every other panel, when I do multi page comics, I’ll either alternate entire pages or I’ll do the first and last pages at the start, and then jump around the middle in whatever order I feel like.

whenever I find myself spending too much time on something, I will set a playlist that has either a 15 minute or half hour run time, and when I reach the last song, if I’m still fucking around focusing on one thing, I’ll make myself move in and return to it later. I do this the most with the inking stage so that I don’t over ink something (I find crosshatching relaxing, but it doesn’t often look good because I do too much in one place and it looks bad because it doesn’t work with the rest of the panels and then I have to start over), and then I can go back to a panel with fresh eyes later and decide whether or not more detail is necessary for the whole page to look good, or if it’s fine as is.

and ofc, the most important guideline of all: the Fuck It, We’re Done rule, which is at some point, you may look at a page and go ‘I don’t want to work on this any more, I’m tired, it’s not fun, I’ll be stuck here forever, etc’ and that’s when you put your pencil down, physically move back from the page, and figure out what the bare minimum amount of work you need to do in order for the whole page to be coherent is, do JUST THAT, and post it.

at the end of the day, it’s the whole page that’s important, not all the individual details, so try not to focus on too many small details early on, but instead go back and add them in closer to the end. You can clean up any line art mistakes that are bothering you here at this stage too.

finally, don’t zoom in too close on a digital canvas, especially if you’re doing pencils. there’s no reason for a reader to zoom in close like that unless you specifically want them too, spare your hands the agony of tiny details that won’t be seen when you upload it at viewer resolutions. I know artists who won’t go past 150% because those details won’t show up at print resolutions.

HEUGHGHHH this is so so long, but hopefully there is some helpful advice in there for you, anon

[delvalentine]

Hi!

I've been reading your fanfics since I was in middle school and I'm in college now, so that's really funny to think about lol.

I know that you've been writing for a really long time and you may have been asked this question before (I promise I tried to scroll through and look for a similar question, but I couldn't, so sorry if you've answered this multiple times before!!), but how do you stay motivated when writing?

I have a few writing projects that I've started on, but have yet to finish or publish because I always find something that could be fixed or changed. And whenever I try to write shorter, one-shot type fics, they end up being longer and I keep adding new ideas to them. But this ask is long enough as is, so I'll stop here.

I really love your work and I hope you're doing well!!!

A long-time fan ♥️

It’s so emotional for me to hear that my writing is impactful enough for people to keep reading it as they grow up with me 🥲 thank you so much for reaching out 🤧 & no need to apologize as I’m happy to answer any question or chat! I don’t think I’ve gotten this one yet either 😙

The simple answer is: I don’t stay motivated 💀

I have drafts I never go back to or publish. Fics I think about for years and years and suddenly 5 years have passed and I still haven’t finished it. I have plenty of incomplete stories on my page right now; some I still think about wanting to finish, and others that I’ve abandoned and moved on from. People come to ask and even beg me to finish fics, and I wish I could for their and my sakes, but creativity doesn’t come on command no matter how much you want it to. I tire out while writing a chapter and forget to go back for months. Even when I’ve planned out the whole story, I’ll still lose steam when it comes to actually writing it. The main thing is forgiveness; it’s okay.

I’m sure you’ve heard of motivation vs discipline. Nobody is motivated all the time; it’s impossible to be. Now that I’m a working adult I’ve lost the time and energy I used to have, so I end up prioritizing other things—but I’ve never felt the need to quit writing, because I still enjoy the process of it.

When I write fanfic, the goal is always just to have fun. Like you said, I’ve written fics for a long time; my first ever Big Time Rush Logan x OC on Quotev (when it was Quizzaz) was written ~2010. And I still write reader insert romance fics today even after I graduated university and got married 😂 and the only reason I would be able to keep doing something for so long is because I still find it enjoyable to craft stories!

It always helps when I receive reader feedback. I don’t think anybody should write with the main goal of hitting kudos goals or getting clout as it sort of takes the joy away from creation, but that’s my personal belief. Knowing people liked your hard work can make you feel validated and proud; but I think if you’re not proud even if 0 people left a like or comment, then there could be some introspection about why you’re writing something that doesn’t bring you, the author, joy.

It sounds like your concern is less that you have a block in creation and that you feel that it has to be perfect before you can release it for others in the public to read. Every artist feels this way; I myself reread my fics and wish I’d said this, or worded it a different way, added a scene, etc etc. But the base feelings I look for before I’m ready to hit publish:

- am I proud of this?

- did I convey my story meaningfully?

- if it’s a chapter, does it make me feel like I’d like to keep reading? Did it serve the purpose of answering questions posed earlier in the story?

Sometimes the philosophy “fuck it, we ball” and hitting publish without looking back is enough. It’s just a fic; if there’s some spelling errors or it’s boring to some or OOC to others or whatever—it doesn’t spell the end of the world. In fact, noticing flaws means you’re able to recognize areas that you’d like to grow in to become an even better author. The joy of online fanfic is that the genre is so broad and diverse. It’s all subjective. No matter what you put out, somebody’s put out something “better”, and somebody’s put out something “worse”, and people would still disagree in their personal opinions. If nobody read your writing, would you still feel proud reading it? Did you have enough fun writing your story that you’re keen to write the next one?

Sometimes writing and not publishing has value. Sometimes writing and not editing helps spark creativity or gives you a base of a different story. Sometimes dumping the skeleton of a draft in word dumps on a page without going back to edit until you’re done is what you need to complete your product. If your good ideas stay trapped in your head, I think it’s better to have at least the bare minimum down so you have something that you can edit and clean/fluff up to your liking instead of working yourself into circles and not having anything to show for it. A drill to help practice breaking that particular habit is setting timers and not allowing yourself to go back until the timer is over; this can train your brain to work in a continual flow rather than get tripped up and losing steam.

And I think one of the most important things for creators to do is ingest media from other creators. Read other peoples fics; what do you like about them and what might you do differently in your own style? Published books, TV, movies, etc. The more exposure you have, the more ideas you have available to draw from, and the more you can visualize how you want to tell your own story.

Another tip that helps me to achieve that writing flow is to see your fic/writing as visual media. How does your “movie” end? How would people write the synopsis for your “film”? Are these scenes actually necessary or is it awkward and taking up screen time? Might it be better for the scene to be earlier or later to help with the flow of the “movie”?

This in itself was more of a word dump than a concise answer, but I hope it’s helpful at least a little bit to your writing journey. TL;DR… just publish it 😉 if it’s got a beginning, middle, and end, it’s ready. You can always publish a rewrite (I’ve done that before!), so just trust yourself. There isn’t anybody you have to please online in the fanfic world except for yourself 😌

💌 Love, V

[proveagain]

i rewatched s6 p2 earlier this week with my dad, and sorry i'm gonna ramble again because going from the frustrated scenes that lead to the locker room blowup -> the plane heart-to-heart with j.ohnny -> the 'you're a natural leader' convo with r.obby after he lands just feels SO clunky... i thought it was just because i had binged all the eps at like 2-3am that first night, but now i can tell there's at least one or two scenes in there that they cut for time. i'm not disagreeing with m.iguel's reaction to the 'you're my son, too' line because i know that's been something he's been needing to hear since after prom in s4, but the show insinuating that m.iguel's frustration is solely because j.ohnny has been favoring r.obby over him (i know whatever scene that was got cut for time bc ... vine vc bitch where) comes out of nowhere???

firstly because the 'support' j.ohnny gave r.obby didn't make it off the cutting room floor (i know he's not talking abt part 1 bc j.ohnny made a point to be unbiased and support m.iguel and r.obby evenly before the captain qualifier), but also because feeling ignored by j.ohnny was never even hinted to as a motive for the desperation m.iguel has with the captain spot in 6 part 1. he and r.obby had figured out their shit from that type of thing in s5 (another thing the writers tell instead of show but that's a rant for another time). his whole desperation for winning the taikai is that m.iguel thinks it's his only shot at swaying the stanford admissions board. he was giving d.emetri a run for his money in the 'shut tf up abt college' race in 6 part 1, and he was so preoccupied with his plan to get noticed and change the board's mind that he completely ignored and invalidated r.obby's feelings.

the main reason he's upset with j.ohnny - and with everything at that point - is that everything comes back to that lack of control he's felt on and off since season 3. j.ohnny just finished telling everyone that the results of the taikai could have them 'regretting everything for the rest of their lives' (get that '84 guilt out of here), right after telling m.iguel that his own victory on the mini platforms didn't mean shit (the only time where m.iguel did feel ignored by j.ohnny, and it wasn't to hype up r.obby bc j.ohnny sat there yelling at everyone in the locker room after), and that he the rest of the team were still going under. they're on the way back to los angeles because his mom got rushed to emergency surgery, another thing he has no control over. there's a couple lines from j.ohnny about 'not thinking like that' when j.ohnny's sharing his worry about not having control re: c.armen's situation, but i don't think that was stressed nearly enough to progress his narrative and show that correction. ideally, i think doubling down on that with a heart-to-heart with c.armen in the hospital about m.iguel fearing the risk of something happening to her again would have done that really well.

that mention of the real motive was also missing from his pep talk with r.obby after he gets back to barcelona, watered down to 'oh i was being an asshole sorry,' and i think it was a disservice to the bond they keep trying to say m.iguel and r.obby have had since s5. a lot of their 'fixing things' convos get watered down to the most basic shit, when the very core of their 5+ season conflict has always been abt miscommunication. they deserved a longer scene talking about both m.iguel and r.obby's frustrations before m.iguel started hyping him up, and i know they glossed over it because of time.

tldr: if i had a dollar for every time a character got cheated because of the short eps + cluttered character roster i'd have enough money to buy the show myself

[frostbitebakery]

Fic Writer 20 Questions

I got tagged by the lovely @thejediandthemandalorian thank you 💜💜💜

1.) How many works do you have on ao3

15

2.) What's your ao3 word count?

147,444 words

3.) What fandoms do you write for?

"Writing" is such a strong word. Codywan is the one that inspires me the most at the moment to the point I want to add little backstories.

4.) What are your top five fics by kudos?

I Got My Head Checked

Outtakes of IGMHC

Art for IGMHC

black

Codywan Art and Hubris

5.) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to!! When someone is kind enough to leave a reaction, I should thank them at the very least! Excuse Number 1: I get overwhelmed easily. Excuse Number 2: Especially with long or thoughtful comments, when I answer those I feel like that's the end of that interaction and I don't want that to end

6.) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

It's gotta be one of the Mood Color Panties that ended with an emotional cliffhanger...

7.) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Uhhhhh in terms of happy ending to fic setting ratio? Probably the MCU/Snowpiercer crossover that ends somewhat like the movie wherein they discover that not everything on the outside world is dead and gone.

8.) Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet? *crosses fingers*

9.) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I have written smut. With BDSM and lingerie. But I don't feel the smut groove anymore. Once in a while I do like to dabble in erotica when drawing though

10.) Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I've officially written one (1) crossover of MCU/Snowpiercer. Unofficially, I've chucked words at friends about The Covenant/Fantastic Four where Johnny Storm and Chase Collins are roommates for whatever reason and Chase is trying to close a portal to Hell and fighting off demons while Johnny is oblivious to it all until his Lucky Charms are gone.

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of. Plenty of art got stolen though.

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yus! A smutty stucky one-shot got translated into Russian

13.) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Does The Unlucky Ones count??? I just wanted spoopy Cody but I can't not do backstory for AUs, so my mind is churning out the lore. Then @adiduck was like, “hey, I have some ideas for TUO, how about--“ and then I buried her in the sandbox. The only bits I wrote (with Adi's blessing) are the snippets on the artworks. She is writing the fic while we both excitedly yell at each other.

14.) What's your all time favorite ship?

Just one???? All of them have a special place

15.) What's a WIP you'd like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I don't have any fic WIPs atm

16.) What are your writing strengths?

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh quite a lot of people pointed out that my pacing is good, and some people like my humor! Thank you <3

17.) What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm too rushed. And like, a whole lot of technical stuff I don't know.

18.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I like it. It can add a lot of things to the characters, plot, or setting. What I personally don't like if the words in another language are in italics.

19.) First fandom you wrote for?

Weiß Kreuz. It's in German and the forum it was posted on is long gone. There's an FMA fic on ff.net still. You won't find that one either.

20.) Favorite fic you've ever written?

I Got My Head Checked :D It started as a naive "lolol what would I want Sithywan to look like? just the once", grew to "But listen, Glimmer, it would be so funny if Sithywan is like "I need a week" as his estimation for how long he needs for Cody to spill every secret ever to him, and it ends with Sithywan just getting up in the cell like he's never been injured/tortured at all and going like "Thank you, that's all I need" like some method acting Black Widow type, but internally starting his journey of “omfg I want him carnally and emotionally””, and then it spiraled into 75k words with more catharsis for me as a person than should be possible. And a greenhouse. More IGMHC trivia!!

Oban Ouaine, Qui-Gon's Cody's Venator, is Gaelic for little green bay. I wanted a connection of Qui-Gon and his fandom plants. And I thought Oban Ouaine sounds a little bit like Obi-Wan

the original plan was that the whole Venator is like a jungle with plants everywhere. @elwenyere brought up "they have a greenhouse?" and I ran with that instead, not knowing it would turn into a central stage for hope and healing for the characters

TAG YOU'RE IT: @adiduck @elwenyere @ifonlyweknewwhatiwasdoing @meebles @merlyn-bane @wrennette @lttrsfrmlnrrgby and anyone who wants to bc this was fun!

[rsa-everything]

FRIEREN - a mockery of an anime review

(Anime only perspective) *Although, I am aware of many things in the manga*

----

Can an anime be 10/10 perfect score? Possibility, says yes! But time, says no! With time there will always be something better.

9.99.../10

Should you give it a try: 99 % Yes - ( 1% no if you can't control your attention)

Done.

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I finished the first season and I'm amazed at how well this story follows its main theme so well. Starting at the end of what would be the common resolution of most fantasy animes, the victory over the demon lord, Frieren delivers a storyline of how life really works, despite reaching the end of one story, another continues. And in the grand scheme of all life, the story really never ends.

You really need to watch this anime past it's opening prologue (roughly eps 1- 2)

The audience is thrown into abrupt point in the story, you don't see the party of heroes take down the demon lord or any action really. You find your hero party in it's victory parade and you are left with piecing together of what happened and how will this story continue.

Initially, what you get is an at leisure fantasy, slice of life, and a mundane world exploration But it's really an overwhelmingly spacious world building experience. Frieren, the last great mage, is roughly over a 1000 years old in the story we begin and that really correlates with her pace of life and her emotionless outlook. The story starts after 10 years of journeying with the hero's party. Frieren leaves to explore the world, but for every moment or event we watch-time easily passes by. So quickly that we reach the death of main hero of her party, Himmel. This is point where Frieren's sense of time really slows down for the audience and constant event flags stick to the story. She suddenly self realizes what she missed in a blink of an eye, because sudden rush of feelings that are resonating within her for once (IMO regret, sadness and determination *in that order*)

She decides to leave the remaining members to change herself mentally and actually live in the world before her. Of course, her habits of constant leisure are still a foundation of her deminer, but changes are subtle. Eventually the changes pick up when she reunites 20 years later with Heiter, one of her party members, again.

As I would enjoy to retell the story, I shouldn't. it's for ppl to enjoy.

Just stop reading and enjoy watching the anime. It's a masterclass of new perspective in an anime genre riddled with Isekai plot armor. (I personally enjoy that still) But if you already did watch Freiren, watch it in another language. You might find it refreshing for slight changes of context.

For the people that would like to continue:

Feieren explores the idea of what shapes your decisions currently are the actions and events from the past. Simply put, everything is a reflection of the past. I believe this is the main plot driving force of our main cast of characters. Whatever happens, no matter how small it's eventually reflected on future events. If you stop and rewatch episode(s) before the main event(s) you'll realize there's more meaning in what they do. Sure, this anime uses flash backs to explain how this came to be, but the actions are explained often with actions and dialogue from previous episodes. Frieren, the mage, is an odd ball and is questioned often as to why she does things and audience often will understand before the people she speaks with. The amount of layers of this is ridiculous and are splendid tidbits along the way for the audience. (like specific spells for really specific things that wouldn't be really that special or "useful")

Besides the superb story, the animation really doesn't get enough credit. For some reason ppl often bring up the dance scene being amazing with all it's movement in fabric, hair etc. But, looking back at previous episodes, watching the characters hair, earrings, fabric etc..., everything is so subtle that it mirrors reality. The director really knows how to make the audience focus, from cinematic angles to the unusual poses. People will joke feet *cough cough* and armpits *cough cough* but they just make a common conversion or fight more interesting. Speaking of fight scenes, the animation is also highly praised for good reason. They are just pure enjoyment and a nice refreshing change of pace when it arrives. The scenes are not only a spectacle in their own rights, but emphasize the importance of experience and skill development for both the characters and the audience. Even the dialogue during the fights really means something and everything seems to have purpose. It's wonderful that the the dialogue is calm and subdued as if the opponents are using the weight of their experience to dominate the fight.

to be continued...

maybe