#every time I see anything Diluc related I just—

[riisume]

I don’t really play Genshin anymore but…!!!

Diluc’s birthday art huaaaaa! 😭😭♥️♥️♥️ He’s so pretty…………. ♥️ I miss him so much….

[huiyi07]

hey so do you guys ever think about how often Diluc is referred to as the ‘uncrowned king of Mondstadt’ since he’s like the only male heir to the noble families and like it or not, where Jean is the authority of the nation, he’s pretty much the symbolic face of Mondstadt and the values the nation projects— and despite his temperament, Diluc has learned to embrace it wholeheartedly. He’s charismatic, extremely righteous, and he blazes bright and gives the people of Mondstadt a fire that guides them in the dark, quite literally. Like he’s literally Bruce Wayne lmao

But he doesn’t want this, no, and here’s the proof- maybe he did, once upon a time, before everything happened— but he doesn’t really care about wine, he only cares about the winery because of the people in it and his father. He’s righteous but doesn’t give a damn about the rules and the knights of favonius. After what happened to him, he’s clearly a rebel at heart now, not some charming superhero who does everything expected of him, unlike before. In summary, Diluc was someone who was quite literally ready to become an (uncrowned) prince, pretty much royalty in every way except title- and on surface level, he still is, but he throws that mantle away in secret whenever he can.

And then look at Kaeya, his brother who’s always lived in his shadow. It’s easy to see that now, people don’t really project Mondstadt’s values onto Kaeya the same way they do onto Diluc, since lots of people hardly even remember that they’re brothers. And yeah people still think kaeya is reliable and nice, but also because of how Kaeya built his image after Diluc left— an excessively over the top personality that pretends to be sadistic, mean, and at the same time dripping with false charm. So despite that people still find him approachable and nice as expected of a knight, hardly anyone would call him befitting of a prince.

But Kaeya is actually so painfully and authentically ‘princely’ and kind, deep down— the way he deals with children, his fierce loyalty and willingness to protect people at all costs, his self sacrificial tendencies that most often appear for Diluc’s sake. Even the tidbits of lore we get about him scream aristocracy- his ‘ceremonial’ bladework, Alberich family secrets that reveal just how central they are to the kingdom of khaenriah. This is kinda obvious to any player who’s bothered to learn anything about kaeya, but to the characters in game, there are very few that know that side of him.

And whereas Diluc is forcibly projected the title of royalty and secretly rejects it, Kaeya was actually born into it- his family is very important to Khaenriah, and much like how he does with anything related to his past and heritage, he loudly and outwardly rejects anything to do with ‘royalty’. Diluc outwardly rejects what Kaeya shows (a darker, more ‘means justify the end’ nature), and Kaeya tries to hide what Diluc projects (a sophisticated and aristocratic upbringing).

Honestly? It’s as if they were swapped at birth. Kaeya’s real hidden nature, even after everything that happened to him, remains to be so unwavering and people-oriented, while Diluc’s true personality changed drastically over time. Not that Diluc isn’t unwavering or whatever, but Diluc mostly actively rejects relationships and prefers to do everything alone, obsessed with the idea that he doesn’t want anyone to get hurt, whereas Kaeya always, always yearns for companionship and for people to be by his side- solidarity.

Diluc is the poster image of royalty, but his brother who hides in the shadows is a real king. They complete each other, balance each other out, represent the parts that the other hides. I don’t know if hoyoverse always meant them to be that way, but damn they basically represent each other’s parts of themselves that they lost. Yin and Yang, two halves of the same whole.

[slothcapsule]

Kaeya's design pt.2 (updated until 5.1 because yes, more stuff gets added with updates, his design is that thought ahead)

or maybe im delusional and looking into things way too much! heyy, Me again!! this is gonna be a master post of all the things ive noticed about kaeya's design, ive made one like it before but since then there's been a bunch of new stuff so i decided to make a new post that has everything i have to note. this is complied of things i myself have noticed and things that others have. this post will not include anything about his skin other than noting a couple of significant differences since the outfit wasn't made specifically for him in the scope of the story, but i might cover it in a separate post

kaeya's design mostly consists of "two sides" in a way, his "mondstat" side and his "khaenri'ah" side.

his mondstadt side includes his vision, the full side of his cape in the back, the earring he wears and his rat tail, all this represents the freedom he has in mondstat and the person he grew to be there, a vision bearing knight of favonius.

the khaenri'ah side includes his eyepatch, the wisp of lighter hair in his bang, a clipped cape ("wing") and the majority of the fur coating. i believe this goes to represent that he's still tied to khaenri'ah despite all the time he's spent in mondstadt, and that he's quite aware of it. Also, the glove on that side has a kind of buckle that kind of reminds me of a shackle or a handcuff, as well as this thing with a bunch of eight pointed stars that are not apparent on the mondstadt

all across his design (the boots, corset belt, gloves, little things on the ends of the cape thing he has, his left sleeve) there are bunch of "eight pointed" stars we see associated with khaenri'ah, one being in his pupil which was a confirmed trait to khaenri'ahn people ever since we saw dainsleif.

id like to note that kaeya's eyepatch is stressed on a lot in game. its constantly referred back to most of the time when kaeya is brought up. he has a voiceline about it (that has been changed once in the english version to to a mistranslation i believe, ill include both versions) the first is the current version.

traveler has a voiceline about it where paimon makes fun of it but i think its notable there's a voiceline specifically about it at all.

its mentioned right when we start the world quest "Bough Keeper" where we meet dainsleif. he doesn't even have an eyepatch half of his face is just black it was a stretch in the first place.

kaeya himself dismisses it as nothing unusual.

in his story quest he says he inherited it from his grandfather, which is solid proof that they're related by blood. (his story quest has some crazy foreshadowing btw that predicted that him and the abyss twin are possibly related in some way or another by extensions but i wont get into it here)

there isnt really a solid idea attached to any of this, other than the fact that kaeya's eyepatch is stressed on as a point of intrigue, its pretty implied to be related to his origin of khaenri'ah, and we often see khaenri'hn people with their right eye covered in some way. and to those of you that think that he wears the eyepatch because diluc injured his eye during his fight, no he isnt. it might've been scarred by him yes but he isnt blind in that eye, and in the webcomic it shows kaeya wearing an eyepatch on the day crepus died, before the fight with diluc.

while we're on the subject of his eyes, he's somewhat of an abnormality amongst Khaenri'ahn people. every other khaenri'ahn person we know have teal eyes with their pupil being a bold black star outline, kaeya's on the other hand are a darker blue with a more faded filled in star. i wont include the eyes of every single character to prove my point but trust me i looked at them all. the only exception seems to be pierro but since he doesnt have an in-game model yet and he wasnt shown super clearly in the trailer im unsure what to make of it for now so i wont include it.

one of the first things generally noticed about kaeya's design once you look into it a little is that he somewhat resembles cryo abyss mages, most notably the fur coat he keeps thrown over his shoulder, the "bunny ears" in his hair (ahoge?) but most of the resemblance comes from playstyle.

in playstyle he's similar in the sense that he teleports on his fifth attack, his ult is similar to the icicles they produce after their shield is broken, he produces his own shield at c4 etc.

(EDIT: i somehow forgot including abyss heralds here, which is insane of me considering that i was always under the impression that if kaeya does turn out to be an abyss monster its definitely more likely to be a herald/lector. i dont necessarily think that he is but there are similarities!)

As for abyss heralds, he does also have a similar design element with the Frost Fall one! Despite being a minor similarity i think its worth pointing out , but they do have kind of similar lapel things, the herald has those wing like things both in the front and back , similar to kaeya's "clipped" wings, that appear under the full wing and in the front of his outfit as well

(fun fact, when i found out they're going to release a cryo abyss herald i was so excited and kept prolonging the fight with it in the quest so i can see if it has similar attack patterns to kaeya) (it does, he does a couple slash attacks that look like kaeya's normal attacks)

one crazy thing also is his cape looks a lot like the top part of the celestial nails and the bottom part of the statues of the seven, and weirdly enough parts of paimons outfits.

a lot of people theorize the log in screen is the enterance to celestia, and that the nails in dragonspine and the chasm are fallen pillars from there. for someone from a godless nation its sort of weird that he seems to have that connection to something celestial huh? this part of the design is also included in his special dish in the skewer itself. (he also marks the mushroom with an eight pointed star as opposed to the x on the regular one)

other than celestian, mondstadtian, khaenri'ahn themes in his outfit, he also has fatui ones! on the front side of the cape we can see that it attaches to a fur thing that covers kaeya's lapels. i have no idea how this attaches or if its just thrown on top, but this design choice is distinctly fatui, weirdly enough. specifically in the style of the attire of the fatui harbingers coats or official ware when they're gathered. i related it distinctly to pierro before but after getting a good look at capitano's model its more fatui, though there's some things that are similar distinctly between kaeya and pierro.

most distinctly, the fur and the lapels being in a very similar shape which is the part that's distinctly fatui, the mask/eyepatch over the right eye as well a strikingly differently colored strand of hair being distinct to pierro and kaeya.

there's a kind of gap in the middle of pierro's chest part of the outfit that somewhat resembles the one kaeya has as well. i saw someone point this out on reddit but i cant find the post because it was a while ago but regardless, they brought up the point of it being exactly in the place and shape of where abyss heralds/black serprent knights have an eight-pointed star, which could be a subtle nudge at khaenri'ah as well.

now, i have two ideas of what those similarities could be hinting at.

kaeya is actually a fatui member (which i believe has some sort of merit because of the recent appearances of capitano and some similarties between them in attire and playstyle weirdly enough, as well as a theory ive been getting behind that states that capitano could be/is related to anfortas alberich)

the fatui harbinger design choices are actually inspired by khaenri'ah, which isnt a stretch given that pierro is the founder and director of the fatui harbingers. thus making them look similar to kaeya rather than vice versa.

panning back up a little bit, regarding the silver hair in kaeya, it seems to be expanding to the rest of his hair, in his skin it goes down the length of his braid.

in the webcomic where we flash back to the past a bit, we see kaeya actually doesnt have the little strand of silver over his left ear, as well as when we return to the normal time setting of the comic, its also not included in his icy featherflight splash art (this 100% could be a stretch on my part they could've just forgot about it its a small strand) (while we're talking about stretches, my biggest one is that childe has a similar streak in his hair lol but that might be going toooo far)

last but not least, his vision, one of the most interesting things about his whole characters. a person from a nation that actively defied the gods recieving a sign of their recognition seems like kind of a threat doesnt it? and its all the more ominous that his vision casing is different from every other mondstadt casing!

this is the back of kaeya's vision next to the back of diluc's vision for comparison, the only notable things are the lack of a third wing probably signifying he's sort of out of place, and the swirl? wave? whatever you wanna call it is on the wrong side. every other character with a double sided vision has the swirl on the other side like jean, diluc, mona, eula, lisa (etc..? i havent seen anyone else with a double sided vision which is also interesting, at least from mond)

however!! weirdly enough, in the 3.8 summer event where kaeya gets his skin, his vision actually gets a different casing, as you can see he gets his full three wings, as well as an extra spike! but not really an extra spike because the vision is just on top of another thing that makes it look like it has a third spike, but the wing is actually there. the genshin fashion archive isnt updated with kaeya's skin so i cant check if there's a swirl, even though the vision isnt even double sided in the skin which is also really weird to me.

im pretty sure ive covered most things, if anyone has any additions please let me know! id love to look into them.

i think kaeya is a really interesting character who's incredibly centered around foreshadowing in the way he carries himself and his backstory, so to think that they managed to extend the foreshadowing bit into even his design is a little bit insane imo.

[dark-night-hero]

Imagine being Genshin Men's the one that got away part 2 featuring Kaeya, Pantalone and Thoma.

Kaeya Alberich

Cause now I pay the price.

Imagine being used to be very close to Kaeya and Diluc, with your parents being close to their father, Crepus Ragnvindr. You have always been Diluc's friend every since the two of you were a baby. So the arrival of someone new, someone as pretty and cute and Kaeya was something that both of you were happy and excited of, a new member into te family, a new friend to get along to.

Imagine you were their friend, always hangout out with the set of brothers playing around and causing troubles here and there. The three of you were just unseperatable, and you were also slowly being aware of the feelings you were developing for him.

Imagine Diluc has always been a brother, annoying little brother you never had. And Kaeya, kaeya was different. Maybe it was the fact that you knew he wasn't biological a Ragnvindr and he looked a lot different than Diluc whom you had enough seeing his face of already, but he was different. His smiles lit up your mood, your heart races when he laughs, when he messes with your hair. It was different, you never want to see him as a brother or anything close to it.

Imagine things started to took a turn when Diluc joined the knights and you didn't, Kaeya did follow his steps a little later though. You watch side by side how Diluc becomes the youngest ever appointed Captain to be within the ranks of the Knights of Favonious. "He's awesome, isn't he." "Hmmm." This is enough, just being there by his side.

Imagine pursuing to become a merchant. The three of you going on a different paths with the two closely related to. Diluc was already busy enough tk begin with causing you and Kaeya to be hanging out by yourselves. And those nights, those nights were memorable, it was wonderful. The way he laugh, the way he looks at you, the way the two of you were looking at each other. You can feel it. You might be young, people might say both of you were young, but you knew, damn it, you knew what this is.

Imagine it was raining, it was raining when Crepus died and it was raining when two brothers parted ways with each other with you standing in the middle of it. "Stop it! You're both going to end up hurting each other!" "Did you heard what he said?! Are you deaf?! Crazy?! You heard what he said and you're still sticking on his side?!" "I am not picking anyone's side in here! What I'm trying to say it that you calm the fuck down-! Dilu-! Kaeya!" As you tried to interfere midway, you were pull by the back of your neck backwards as a bird like flame of fires came into yours and Kaeya's direction.

Imagine that night, you gain a pretty deep scar on your side, cause by the burn of your best friend as well as the intense icy frost that comes after it. Not only that, not only did you lost your childhood friend, but you also lost him, Kaeya. "I'm sorry." It was pouring hard as he kneel by your side. "I'm sorry." He spoke once again, his fingers slowly slipping away from yours. "Kaey-" "I'm sorry." Then he left.

Imagine, one of the hardest thing Kaeya ever did was to walk away from you that night, knowing what he- what the two of you coulf have been has now down the drain, and will forever remain their frozen in time.

Imagine that same night the two brothers fell out, so does everything connected to them, you. Dilic left without a word. And Kaeya started ignoring you. Maybe it was because out of guilt, maybe it's because of the things he said that night. But if there was one thing for sure is that he won't see you, he won't talk to you. No matter now much you begged, he never did. He was all that you have now, and you're pretty sure that goes the same way for him, so why is he okay? How could he be okay? Fuck it.

"They left." "I know." "I heard they might not come back." "... I know." "You're not going to see them? They're still waiting for you outside." "... No." And so you left.

Imagine, Kaeya has always been aware that there was something going on with the two of you. You were quite different after all, different when it comes to him and Diluc. And it was quite obvious to be honest. So when he started ignoring you after that night, it was strange and funny. How his heart would often ache just by you calling his name.

Imagine when you left, a part of him left with you too. You were... everything after all. It may not be obvious, but you and Diluc were his everything back then. So as years have gone by, things like his were on the back of his mind, long to be forgotten. Just like what he was always hoping to. Or so he thought.

"One glass of wine please!" He utter with a smile, one way of teasing Diluc as the red hair started serving behind the counter when the familiar bell rings indicating an incoming customer "And one beer for me." And there comes the ache again. As the two head turn, one red and one blue. "It's been awhile." They smiled, the same damn smile they always gave them.

Imagine after a long moment of silence, he manage to hold up a smile. "Back in town?" "Oh you bet! It's been so long!" "You should have given us a heads up before you came back." "Oh please, I don't want to hear that coming from you, who left without a word, Diluc." You joked, even giving Kaeya a side eye as you made fun of the other guy, just like the old times but there was something obviously different. The way you look at him...

Imagine it was a joyful yet silent night for the three of you, with Kaeya just smiling, butting in for a few times but just there by the side, it was quite uncharacteristic of him, just casually playing with the wine on his hand before it was time to go. "Well, I got to get going." "Already?" You pout, Diluc scoffing at your reaction but somehow giving Kaeya a look of concern. "Duty calls." He laughs before giving you and Diluc a playful smirk then walking out of the pub.

Imagine as soon as he did, he let out a deep sigh before walking towards the direction of the headquarters. And just like all those years back, his heart ached every steps he take. Then he stops, look back, then look up then down to his feet as he hold a hand on his mouth. The way you look at him right now. "Oh Barbatos." He suddenly laughs. "I'm late, am I?" He added.

"Kaeya!" Unlike before where no matter how much you called after him, he did not turn around. This time, he turn around to face you. "Miss me already?" "Yeah!" You laughs, and oh celestia. How wonderful that laugh sounds. "Let's grab a drink in sometime okay? When you're not so busy!" "Alright, but your treat, okay?" "Aww! Come on now!"

You were a wonderful experience even if you're never mine.

Pantalone

Can all this mora buy me a time machine, no.

Imagine growing up with Regrator on a very poor neighbourhood, basically in the streets. It was pretty much forgotten how the two of you first met but what was important is that the two of you have manage to stick together in tough times. Being young, broke, and basically has no one to take care of the two of you. The two of you only have each other to hold on and lean on into. That was the childhood of the Regrator.

Imagine, now that he is practically the richest man in Teyvat, there was no other things he couldn't buy at the same time. There was nothing that picks his interest. "What do you think, (Your name). It's such a shame that the gift I was planning to give Tsaritsa was stolen within the warehouse, though. I'm quite thankful the things I've bought for you was safe." "..."

Imagine they said that the Regrator was a man of desire, a man greedy for money for some reasons for they do not know where he have come from nor his goals. He was also quite close to the Doctor, someone almost everyone was too scared to talk into. There were a lot of things that came into mind when asked about the Regrator but if there was something obvious that no one talks about was the torn, ragged and almost faded picture on his office table not fiting for its picture frame that probably causes hundreds, no millions if not much higher cause of mora. And no one was allowed to talk about it.

Imagine, life was tough for you and the Regrator. But you manage to make it side by side. You manage to survive though that poor environment. Then he started making money, he starts finding a way to get you out of then damn place. You were there when he started a new goal. When he started pursuing his goal. Life was tough, it was but at least you have each other by your side.

Imagine, Pantalone was wise. He was greedy, but he was wise. You knew that, you knew him more than anyone else. So imagine one day as the two of you gets back to the old worn house, if you could call it a house. You felt a sharp pain on your chest. Causing you to frown and reach out a hand to massage it. "Are you okay?" "Yeah, just a little tired."

"I kept getting flashbacks nowadays." "..." "It was good- good old days, I suppose." He chuckle in contrast to the fake smiles and laughs he was giving other poeple specially in business. "I don't think I will be back anytime now, (Your name). You'll still be here when I came back, no?" "..." "I'll see you later, my treasure."

"Please... please please I'm begging you. Please treat her I- I'll make sure to pay la-" "Get out! I have no plans to treat beggars like you!" "No ple-" "Get lost!" As the door closes for the fifteenth time that night, and by the harsh impact, he ended up taking a step back that ended up with him falling backwards with you in his arms, keeping his arms around you to protect you from the fall as he could feel you burning up in his arms, quite trembling.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck... Just a little bit (Your name)... Just a little bit." Why does it has to be this way? Eveything was doing fine. The two of you have finally manage to save up some money to start up a business and it was doing fine. In fact you would be having your profit in days to come even though you two were quite broke right now. Why do you have to be sick right now? No wait no no, he's not blaming you. Just. Fuck. If only he has a vision, if only those so called Gods could help right now, create some miracle. FUCK!

Imagine, as a new recruit fatui member carelessly and mindlessly barge in into the office room of the Regrator. Even foolishly touching things here and there in the room, as soon as he took a lift up a book within the shelf, the shelf moved causing the newbie to gasp nevertheless as curiosity got the best of the her, she followed down the road where it leads into a small cozy room but there was something which causes her jaw to drop.

Imagine, in the corner of the room was a glass like container, which contains a doll, no. It was too realistic to be a doll. It was a person. A person who seems to be sleeping but the newbie knew really well that that was a corpse. Talking a few steps to get a closer look. She noticed that the corpse was well dressed, be it on the silk that made up the clothes, the jewellery that compliments the overall looks of it to the shoes and even the (hair color) hair that seems to the styled by the best hair artist in teyvat. It looks like tons of mora was wasted on such corpse.

"I would have understand if they were alive, in fact it would have been worth the mora if they were only alive. Is it the hobby of the Regrator to dress up such thing? Such a weird hobby." "Are you done?" "Ah sir!" As the newbie was about to turn around, she couldn't, already missing her head. "Ah ah, look at the mess you made, Dottore." "You'll make a bigger mess if you took care of it. See the blood already staining the glass of your beloved?"

Imagine Pantalone rolling his eyes at Dottore who just smirk before leaving the room. He already had enough of the thing that was about to happen, besides he just happened to have a new lab rat he just killed because a certain someone wouldn't leave him alone to make something.

"Pantalone." He felt your hand clenching around his. It was warm. "You're warm" You smile. "I wish we could stay like this forever." "The Doctor is coming... Hold on a little more, okay?" Despite the intense pain you are feeling right now was you tried to hold on into every little bit of consciousness you have left. "Pantalone..." "They're coming okay? Just a wai-" "I'm tired." You snuggle even closer to him. "I want to sleep... Can I sleep?" "No... no no no no no no." "Aww. Why?" You tried to open your eyes. Wanting to see him again for the last time. "I lived a good life." "No, I haven't given you that good life yet. Not yet, please. Please please in a moment the doct-" "Pantalone... I'm going to sleep now. Okay?" As you shut your eyes forever, never once did the doctor came.

"I'm sorry, look at how messy the room has become." He apologizes as he approaches and hold on into the glass were you were being contained and preserved. "Since no one is allowed to enter this room other than Dottore, I would have him clean up the room." He sigh before pressing his forehead on the glass. "He said it woulk take time and money to find a cure for you but don't worry. I would be willing to spend all the money in the world as long as you wake up again, okay?" "..." "I cannot wait for that day to come so for now I apologize but you have no choice but to stay asleep."

I'm sorry for leaving so early, for leaving you all on your own to face the world, I love you.

Thoma

In another life, I would make you stay.

Imagine you were his childhood friend, his best friend, his partner in crime and the list could go on for so long as the two of you basically grew up together. His father being on of the servants within your household and him being allowed to stay whenever he would come to Inazuma after the vacation of his father back in Mondstand. To Thoma, you were someone whom he knows very well. After all, you were his first master to serve before the Lord of the Kamisato in present times.

Imagine you were the heir to one of the prestigious clan within Inazuma. And as the heir comes with responsibility, the training was very harsh and strict, you could never let your guard down even for a child who should only be enjoying wonderful things in life. But you are different, those (hair color) hair and (eye color) iris that your clan seems to worship, the true appearance and characteristics of a heir they say that would only come once per generation. It was nothing but a curse to you.

Imagine growing up in a strict environment. With your younger siblings basically neglected from the parental things that one child needed, you were the one to fill in the role for them. Giving them all your free time, making sure not to let them experience the same treatment that was given to you. Basically the puppet of the elders within the clan. To be honest it was exhausting. You knew your parents loves you at the same time the way they are treating you, saying it was for the greater good was something you hate then for. And to add the neglectful treatment of your siblings, you basically becoming the parental figure to them when you yourself is lacking one. And you hate them, you hate the freedom they have that you have and probably would never got.

Imagine that is where Thoma came into. The shy but kind boy from Mondstand who came with his father one day and started interactin with you. Following you anywhere, watching you do what you're supposed to do such as train and studies. It was strange to be honest, but the more he get to know you and the more you get to know him, the more he influences you. You started smiling, laughing. Started enjoying the little things in life you never really looked into before.

"Will you be back?" You cling into the hem of his shirt as he gives you a toothy grin. "I will, little lord-" "(First name). Call me (First name)." As soon as you said that, his eyes widen, then he giggle. "Alright, (First name)." With your little hands letting go of his shirt, "Wait." "Hmm? What is it?" "What's your name." "..." "I've been playing with you for a month and you don't even know my name?" "..." "It's Thoma." "... Thoma, huh." "Yes! Don't forget that!" Although that did earn him a roll of eyes as you turn your back at him. You never forgot his name.

Imagine the more you two grew close, the more you felt freedom within him. Maybe it's because of the land where he came from, Mondstant was it? The city of Freedom as they called it. At the same time, behind the laughs and smiles you express as he comes by. Was the more hasher and strict the rules for you had become. The more you were focused to the goal of becoming the perfect heir for them, as you should have become. It was slowly ruining you, it was slowly killing you from the inside despite the smiles and freedom you have whenever you are with your sisters, but more specially with Thoma.

Imagine, on your becoming of age. Despite the celebration of the whole village, the whole manor. You're not happy. You're not happy at all. All the unwanted responsibilities, the expectations. The lack of freedom, love. Your sisters and Thoma was all you have. They were all you have left and the music that Thoma have taught you. The music that seems to have set you free. But in order to pursue that dream, you must leave. But how could you leave?

"Are you alright?" He spoke as he stand next to you who was in the middle of the hall. "Why won't I be?" "You really look like you want to leave right now." "... Want to dance?" "Right now?" "Right now. Let's go." You urge him, standing up from your seat as you hold up a hand for him to take. And he did, with a smile on his and your face, you let him guide you in the middle of the hall, causing people to move away as you move, probably confused at the same time because this is far from the custom this country has. And this, a dance was something common to his culture.

"(First name)!" It was only after the dance that you part ways with Thoma and meet up with your sister when the youngest came into you with... a lovestruck look on her face? "Who was that guy?" "Huh?" What is this sudden feeling of uneasy? You have never felt like this before. "The one you danced with! Who is he?!" She asked enthusiastically. "I have never seen him before! Who is he?" "Huh?" This time, your lips unconsciously curl up, the feeling of wanting to laugh and throw up was building up all at the same time. "(First name). Introduced me to him, please?" Huh? "Sure."

Imagine things happened fast. One moment your sister came up to you and the next moment you were introducing her to Thoma who seems to took a liking on her. Making you realise that this was in fact the first time they have meet, your sister has always been in one of the spare houses within the village and not in the main manor. On the heirs stats in their and so does Thoma, who happened to be your best friend and one of your close aide when he was on vacation to Inazuma.

"Your sister is very kind. I think... I think I may have liked her." He laughs and so did you. At the same time something inside you broke. Was it your heart? Maybe? But for the first time in your life, the urge to get away finally kicked in as if you have lost all means of any reason to stay. So that night. That night you left, you left as you have no other reason to stay with so many things waiting for you, your freedom.

Imagine how hurt, confused, and lost they all are when you left without a word. Not even a letter. But then again, everyone in your family, sisters aside seems to have moved on easily. But eventually he does too, leaving your family clan into the Kamisato, someone your other sister was once in a relationship with too and work there while being in a relationship with your youngest sister.

Imagine years after you were gone. Came back. As the main family gathered in the estate. With him standing next to your sister, all these years staying strong and engaged. His Lord, Kamisato standing rigt across him with your other sister by his side yet knowing the cold look on his face, he knew his Lord wasn't happy. Your parents currently out the room, greeting you probably who came back after long years of disappearance.

"It's... been so long... everyone." It was a voice he haven't heard for so long. A voice he have long forgotten but knows who it was if he had heard it in the middle of the crowd. And the very moment you emerge into the room. Everything seems to stop, your smile. It was brighter than ever, than those nights the two of you would sneak out to have some fun. This time, he knew you were happy. "Thoma! It's been so long! How are you."

Imagine he don't know how to reply, his heart beating wildly on his chest upon seeing you again. He without thinking, he pull you into a hug, breathing your scent he have missed for so long. Oh Archons, how much he missed you. "Hahahahahaha missed me that much Thoma?" "Oh you little- of course I do! How have you been?! Are you coming back for goo-" Mid sentence were you pulled away from him, a pair of strong arms warped around your waist pulling you away from Thoma. "Too close." Your fiance pout on your shoulder. Huh?

"Darling, behave. Don't embarrass me in front of an old friend." You giggle but doesn't break away from your lover's arms. Huh? "Oh right, Darling. This is Thoma, the one I often told you about in my childhood, the one who taught me how to play instruments? And Thoma, this is my fiance..." he couldn't hear it. But he could hear the a cracking noise from somewhere. Was it his own heart breaking? Why was it breaking? He was in love with your sister. Why is he feeling this way? Should he be feeling this way? Wh- huh?

"What are you doing here?" You spoke as you emerged from behind. It was midnight, and it was right after the banquet that everyone was supposed to sleep when you two happened to see each other from the old stop where the two of you often meet in the past to sneak out. "Can't fall asleep?" You asked and he shook his head. "Don't worry, I'm the same. Probably home sick, I'm glad that my lover was able to fall asleep easily though, probably quite nervous into meeting my family, specially upon confrontation with my parents." You chuckle and sat beside him.

Imagine the comfortable silence, or at least for you as he was drown in thoughts. Thoughts he shouldn't be having but right now, he does. "(First name)." "Yeah?" "Would you leave if I told you to stay?" "Back then? I would probably have." "I see." "But I don't think we would work out." "... What makes you think so?" "My sister was inlove with you, and you were in the process of falling for her. You know back then I would do anything for my sisters" You chuckle, looking from to the sky then on him. "Right?" And then he look away.

"I should get going." "Already?" "Yeah, my lover would be anxious not to see me by their side when they wake up." "You love them alot." "I do." You chuckle. "I do love them alot. I wouldn't come back here if I don't." You shook your head before standing up. "Don't stay up later for so long, you may catch a cold." You spoke then messes with his hair then started to walk outside. "And Thoma?" "... Yeah?" "Thank you for staying by my sister side. It's really good to see you again."

I loved you too early, and you love me too late.

[ⓒdark-night-hero] 2023°

: Fun fact, Thoma and Ayato fell for the same reader. Another fun fact, Thoma and Ayato's idea came from my fictional novel 'She was' (totally not promoting.)

[woooyeahbaby]

Genshin men with a streamer s/o

characters: alhaitham, diluc, itto, tighnari, zhongli

warnings: mentions of stream viewers being inappropriate towards reader, diluc is veeery slightly ooc, i accidentally used the words stream/streaming like waaay too much lmao, gender neutral reader i think i tried my absolute best to keep gender and stuff out of it. if i forgot any warnings pls let me know!

Alhaitham

you never really told him, because you never felt the need to, plus you assumed he would’ve found out somehow. whether it was through the internet, or your setup in the room you two “never” used. you were surprised to realize that he only found out when he was reading and he heard you yelling at your chat. he came into the room, observed the situation, and left with no questions asked. it was kind of funny.

alhaitham never really bothers you while you’re streaming, after the last few times he heard you talking to your chat or gaming, he understood your schedule of streams and didn’t want to interrupt. but there was one time where he brought you a meal, and he didn’t show his face but he spoke three words and your chat went absolutely wild.

“BOYFRIEND REVEAL?” “pls say that’s your brother..” “OMG SHOW” and other things related to him filled the chat, which kind of made you uncomfortable at first but once you learned to ignore it, it was fine. after that, you told him and it kind of encouraged him to bring you more things during streams…

sometimes, you’d call alhaitham to your little “streaming room”, as you’d both call it, to ask him a question that was a large debate in your chat. because of how smart he is, he’d quickly reply with the correct answer. however, if it was just an opinion, he wouldn’t quite bother answering and he’d usually just leave the room.

if you have some obsessive viewers, or people asking for your onlyfans or something like that, if you tell him (or if he sees one of them while he’s secretly stalking your stream) he’ll immediately mute/ban them. oh yeah, he’s definitely a chat moderator for you, i forgot to mention. you offered it to him, and he didn’t mind the idea, so he downloaded the streaming service and boom, he moderates your chat now!

Diluc

he actually helped you start your streaming career! not to say that he’s tech savvy or anything, he just let you create the account and such, then advertised it everywhere. hell, he even told kaeya to watch your streams. diluc is very supportive of you!

he doesn’t quite understand it, both the concept of just watching someone play videogames or react to youtube videos live, but you’re his partner, so he’s fine with whatever makes you happy.

the only times he interrupts your stream is when he’s saying goodbye/goodnight or if he’s bringing you something. diluc knows how often you stream, both from memory and from your voice in the room next to him. your followers find his voice really attractive, and they definitely let you know that every time they hear him speak. sometimes you need to remind them to calm down, or you’ll tell them it makes you uncomfortable.

diluc occasionally comes into the room to see what you’re streaming, knowing full well he could just open the app but why do that when you’re right there? he’ll watch you game, or if you’re doing react content he’ll react with you!

weird people in chat? he tries his best to ignore them, but after the stream he’ll ask if you noticed what they were saying. he’ll be a little embarrassed that it made him so annoyed, but what else should he do? you’ll reassure him that the people that comment that type of stuff usually get banned or muted, and he’ll be somewhat okay with that information.

Itto

let’s be honest, he’d probably be a streamer too. but let’s do this in the case he isn’t a streamer. he’d be so happy for you! he’d be like diluc and advertise your account absolutely everywhere, it’s really sweet.

itto would pretty much be in all of your streams, whether he’s in the background watching whatever you’re doing or if he’s playing the game you’re streaming with you. but obviously, if you don’t want him to be he’ll leave you alone.. aka watch your stream on his phone and cheer you on in the chat. if you notice his chats, you’ll say hi and you’ll definitely hear him shout “YAY!!” from the other room, it’s cute.

your chat kind of makes fun of him for how accidentally stupid he can be, like for example if he asks a dumb question about the game you’re playing you’ll answer him sweetly to distract him from the rude chats. “what does he mean, ‘lol why would he even ask that of course the enemies are red’?” “don’t worry about it, they’re just being mean.”

if he sees somebody being disrespectful in your chat, such as being inappropriate or just being rude to you, he’ll either publicly shame them or just point them out to your moderators to mute/ban them. he’ll kiss your cheek every time he sees one of them, feeling bad that you have those types of viewers.

Tighnari

being an outdoorsy type of guy, tighnari somewhat dislikes the thought of going live for a couple hours and only playing videogames or reacting to videos for people to watch. he doesn’t understand it too much, but.. as long as it makes you happy, he can’t hate it.

he doesn’t show up in your streams much, the only time he ever will is when he’s bringing you food or if he’s just checking on you to see if you’ll be going to bed soon. he memorized when you usually stream, so he tries to get everything he needs from you before you get on your pc.

if you’re a little too loud when you’re gaming or whatever you’re doing, he’ll knock on the door or the wall to tell you that he’s a little bothered. chat will sometimes say “oh he must be fun at parties”, not realizing just how sensitive his ears are. you usually ignore those comments, knowing that if tighnari were to hear you talking about that, he’d be extremely sassy to your audience (you may or may not have experienced this once before).

your chat will definitely talk about how nerdy he is once they know more about him, which you aren’t even sure how they did that considering he rarely comes into the stream and rarely uses social media.. but when they do make fun of his dorky personality, it’s very lighthearted. plus.. they’re not wrong.

if someone is being rude in your chat, or inappropriate, he wouldn’t really know, because like i said he doesn’t check in too often. but if he somehow found out, he would sass the hell out of them. it’s funny, honestly. all you can do while he does this is just sit there and laugh until he’s done, then he’ll give you a little goodbye wave and leave the room. you know he feels proud of himself after that.

Zhongli

oh peepaw.. he doesn’t know aaanything about it. he’s been around all this time and doesn’t know anything about streaming. but he must support you in some way, right? he’ll ask hu tao about it, seeing if she knows about it at all, just so he can be a little more educated on your career.

be prepared for horrible backseat gaming. “oh no, watch out for the enemy!” “zhongli.. that’s my character..” zhongli is trying his absolute best to help you while you stream, sitting by your side and trying not to get dizzy as he watches your screen. it’s cute, and definitely sweet, you can’t deny it. you know he just wants to be involved with what makes you happy, but you can’t help but cringe sometimes.

if- i mean, when your chat is thirsting over him, it’s most definitely over his voice. perhaps it’s his face and such, but usually just his voice. he isn’t ugly at all, and your audience realizes, but daaamn will they go wild for this man’s voice! once he realizes, he’ll be very flustered, and try to talk less.

but if your viewers are being rude to you? ohh, no. he couldn’t care less if they were rude to him, but you? the love of his life? absolutely not! he’ll either ask you if there’s some way to have them banned, or he’d use all of his technology knowledge to privately message them and threaten them.

[foozle-woesies]

Omg omg omg omg guess whose back? Back again? Dizzy's back. To spam his friend. Okay but like deadass I want to know your most significant angst Hcs. Literally any characters just what have you really thought about with who cause I know I've got a list of them for pretty much every character so I wanna know ur favs. Give me yummy angst I'm hungry.

🍓Genshin Favs Angst Headcanons🍓

Wooooo!!! You have submitted a GOOD ask buddy. This post will include:

Kaeya Alberich

Diluc Ragnvindr

Il Dottore

Tartaglia

I have more favorites than this, but these are the guys I’m always thinking about.

Warnings: familial death, depression, alcoholism, descriptions of s/h, mentions of internalized homophobia and transphobia, and general violence.

❄️Kaeya Alberich❄️

This isn’t even a headcanon, I’m pretty sure it’s very heavily said in the game- Kaeya’s an alcoholic. And that suave personality of his? I really think it’s just a front.

I see Kaeya has having some serious battles with depression. It takes quite a lot of energy to uphold that smooth façade, leaving him feeling unable to do anything but drink and sleep.

I think Kaeya has a horrible time even just getting up in the morning. Like, it physically hurts him to think about. In the mornings he’ll feel such hopelessness and dread that, again, it just hurts.

I think Kaeya is also deeply hurt by how cold he and Diluc are to each other. Diluc is too, of course, but more on that later. He feels abandoned by Crepus, even though he’s aware that it wasn’t his father’s fault he died.

I also think Kaeya was envious of Diluc and Crepus, even if his father loved the boys the same. Crepus was Diluc’s biological dad- something Kaeya also wanted to have.

Not as angsty as everything else, but Kaeya’s always cold because of his cryo vision :(

Another small one- Kaeya has really textured hair imo. But due to his lack of self care, his hair gets matted often. He’s already tender headed, so combing through it hurts bad. He can hardly bring himself to care for it by the time it’s so matted. Not just because of the pain in his scalp, but because of the pure and utter shame it brings. He couldn’t even gather the strength to do something as basic as brush his hair- how weak could he possibly be?

This is a lot more specific to my au but I’ll try and keep it generally related to the actual game. Kaeya knows both his brother and his spouse are trans and is fully supportive. He supports any queer person in Mondstadt. When it came to realizing he himself was gay, though, it was a bloody internal battle. I’m glad to say he was able to accept himself quickly and live happily with his husband <3.

🔥Diluc Ragnvindr🔥

I think, as the Darknight Hero, Diluc’s an extremely reckless fighter. He’s covered in scars from fatui and abyss mage attacks, but also burns. His hands specifically are burnt to the point of nerve damage in his hands.

He hides these burns with his gloves. This is also why he leaves bartending to his employees- it’s hard to not drop the glasses and spill the drinks due to the damage.

He doesn’t ever pay much mind to his injuries and hardly goes to the hospital when he should. He prioritizes his mission as the Darknight Hero over his own safety. Perhaps he just wants to carve a meaning into his life, feeling as though he lacks one.

Diluc is not one who is good at handling complicated feelings. Quite honestly, Crepus’s death hasn’t exactly registered to him. Obviously he knows it’s happened, and he grieved, but… he just pushes it so far down. He’s easily irritated by the topic of Crepus.

This irritation becomes evident whenever Kaeya tries to talk about their father, even though it’s always in a fond manner. In general, discussions between the brothers end in screaming and shouting.

Diluc doesn’t hate Kaeya, though, it’s quite the opposite. Diluc frets a lot over his little brother. His lack of emotional tact, and Kaeya’s unwillingness to open up, just keeps driving the brothers farther apart.

Diluc is trans. Of course this isn’t an angsty headcanon within itself! Rather, I want to talk about the things that can come with it. I like to think Mondstadt is generally a very accepting nation (I choose to think all of teyvat is, really). But once in a while, a drunkard in the bar will make a nasty comment towards this fact. He acts as if these comments mean nothing but it bothers him deeply.

Actually, Diluc feels insecure about being a “real man” quite often. It’s a pretty persistent bother. I’m glad to say though, at the end of the day, Diluc is proud and confident of who he is :3

🧪Il Dottore🧪

Dottore’s backstory isn’t really in the game atp (except for Zandik’s legacy, except it’s not even canonically stated to be Dottore so who really knows at the end of the day?? I def think it’s him tho), but I have my own theories. I feel like Dottore definitely had a horrible childhood. Was he probably kicked out of his village for a good reason? Yea. But still. I can’t help but imagine he had no one to care for him, therefor harboring his bad tendencies.

By the time he got to the Akademiya, I think he was also bullied pretty badly. This worsened his hatred towards people and made him even more of a shut-in.

Dottore is just tired all the time and I mean TIRED. It’s a miracle he’s even functioning.

I don’t have much for Dottore atm… sorry!

🫧Tartaglia🫧

Tartaglia is really struggling while in the fatui. Sometimes, he’s really zoned out. He’s good at keeping up that charming and energetic front for jobs, sure, but if you know him personally or just see him around Zapolyarny palace, he’ll seem like a totally different person. He seems to be… remembering the things he’s seen and done.

Sometimes, he’s totally angry and freaking out. He has a hard time controlling his emotions, all of which seem to appear as anger. This always ends with him breaking something, hurting someone, or even hurting himself. These tantrums are triggered by even the smallest things. I really think he has a ton of resentment, despair, and fear bubbling underneath the surface, resulting in seemingly random breakdowns.

I don’t think Tartaglia really enjoys the fatui. When he crawled out of the abyss, he was a scared, vulnerable young boy. I don’t think he could process what he experienced at the time- I don’t think he can nowadays, either- and I think the fatui used this to their advantage. To try and make him better harbinger material, they stunted his recovery by saying what he went through wasn’t that bad, it was just something that strengthened him. They brushed off any possible mental degradation as him just “being weak” and “needing to be stronger”. He doesn’t realize any of this.

I think that contributes to his need to train more and grow stronger. His over-exertion with battling, and focus on physical pain is a way for him to ignore the mental anguish he’s truly in.

Beyond losing the light in his eyes, I think Tartaglia’s entire face changed. Obviously he grew up, and that changes people’s face, but I mean in a different way. His cheeks are sunken in, his eyes even more so. Around his eyes and the tip of his nose were constantly discolored and red. His lips were chapped and bloody. He seemed tired, even with that fun mask he put on. Honestly he lacks a lot of self care. He wants to focus on his strength rather than such “small matters”. He honestly looks… pretty fucking terrifying, even inhuman when he’s violent. It’s sort of the way a shell-shocked soldier will look different when he returns from war.

About him ending up hurting himself. I think he’ll just grab at any part of himself and scratch and squeeze, resulting in jagged cuts and bruises. He has to take his anger out on something physical. If his anger is directed at another person, when he was a younger man, he’d just hurt them. As he grew, he just broke things around him instead, screaming and shouting all the while. He regrets this every time it happens. He doesn’t know why he lacks control.

All in all, Tartaglia is a deeply troubled individual who’s been manipulated into believing he is fine. He’s been lied to and told his job is a great thing for the world. Maybe one day, he’ll snap out of it and realizes he needs to leave.

[gold-rhine]

For the bodypart canons askgame can we get Neuvillette? If you don't have much about him yet then I wanna be the first one to ask for Kaeya

I already did for Neuvi! In fact its easier for him bc he just came out, so i have a lot of things to extrapolate from, but I was writing long ass essays for kaeya for more than a year, so its harder to come up with anything new to say asdfghj. like i don't to repeat same headcanons i already wrote, like that he's related to candace

Headcanon: I can muster a cogent argument for why it would make more sense or make for a better story if this were the case

i've gotta say, i'm a bit peeved when i see ppl portraying child kaeya as like. a dickensian beggar boy who was let to the fireplace and cried bc he tried a cube of sugar for the first time in his life. like, alberichs are nobility and we know khaenriah took their nobility *very* seriously. and if they knew they are sending their scion to mond's nobility, they'd make damn sure he can keep up their dignity. kaeya canonically could read and write before he got to mond and game makes sure to highlight that his handwriting is beautiful.

i think kaeya was very well educated, very well schooled and mannered and prepared for like high society politics, and it was kind of a cultural shock for him how uncivilized ragnyvdirs are in comparison to his own upbringing. like he's a bit confused when he doesn't see 10 different forks at the dinner table, but he's keeping a brave face, but then he sees diluc wipe his mouth with a sleeve and like snatch a piece of meat from the dish and is just completely stunned. and diluc is like oh don't be shy, you can have more too if you want!, but kaeya is in fact seeing a heart attack his own father would have at this scene. this is why he comes off as very quiet and polite to all adults at the estate

Heartcanon: I don’t have a particular rationale for why this ought to be the case, I just like to imagine it’s true because it gives me the warm fuzzies

my conspiracy theory headcanon is that he does still have his horse, but doesn't use her for work. like when he just became a knight as a teen, he saw a horse that no one wanted or ever chose bc she had horrible temper, and slowly gained her trust with treats and attention until they've became friends like a true horsegirl would. that horse was left in mond bc she doesn't let anyone else ride her, so the expedition just left her to kaeya, but he just treats her like a luxury pet and spoils her to death

Gutcanon: it’s not that I actively want this to be the case – it just unaccountably feels like it should be

the first ability from his vision that ever activated was his C4 shield when diluc cleaved him on the head and this is what saved his life. this shield is v useful, but kaeya hates it as a reminder. he also has pretty big burnscar on his eye, bc like. he took a flaming claymore to the eye, no way he has a dainty little white line from a hit like that

Junkcanon: I like to imagine it’s true because it gives me the other kind of warm fuzzies

has a collection of corsets and elaborate lingerie sets. like, you open the corset on his default outfit and there is another, even sexier corset underneath

Spleencanon: I insist that this is the case specifically to spite the author, because, like, fuck you, sir or madam

every time hoyo tries to gaslight us into pretending diluc was right and in fact normal about kaeya and the knights the whole time, i'm sending psychic spiders to them on the astral plane

[saltyfishdream]

Kazuha x Reader (Hogwarts AU)

Tags: reverse hurt/comfort, triggered by weather, coping with grief, gn!reader, implied past Kazuha/Friend

Words: 3.8k

The Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom was empty for only you and Professor Minci. You gulped nervously as she started to talk about your consistent “trolling” grade, which you still had to stifle a few laughs from hearing. You grew up in a Muggle family, and of course, the Internet.

She continued with how she tried to put you with other “high-achieving students” (Diluc and Kaeya) to get your grade up or making you sit on your own (after she found that you three together were the perfect stew for chatter) but they “probably weren't the best ways for you”.

“So that's why I'd like to introduce you to your peer tutor,” She finished. Peer tutor? You don't dare raise a brow at the idea even though you wanted to. You were sure that Diluc and Kaeya’s grades dropped that term because of all the chatting in class. Would you distract that peer tutor so much you'd forget about studying in the first place?

A knock on the door stopped your train of thoughts.

“Come in.”

You were first met with red eyes. Not as dark and piercing as the crimson in Diluc's, but a shade closer to the warm flame in the fireplace in the Gryffindor common room despite the fact that he was a Hufflepuff. His hair was white for only a few red strands, which was brushed to his right.

“Kadehara,” Professor Minci continued, “Will be your student tutor this term…”

She went on with a lot of details (like how good a student Kadehara was? Or he's a sixth year who didn’t drop the subject?) that you mostly missed, before noticing that it was almost time for dinner and ushered you two out of the room.

Kadehara said, “[name], are you fine with calling me Kazuha? I'm not really used to being called by my last name–”

You only blurted out the thing that was hanging on your mind from the moment you saw him. “You should put less stress on yourself, or even that red part of your hair will turn white at this rate if you insist on tutoring me.”

Kazuha's eyes widened for a second, probably from confusion.

“A-Ah no, I just bleached and dyed my hair! Kind of, actually. I wanted to dye it all red but the dyeing spell didn't work as well as I'd imagined,” he let out a few dry laughs, even though he didn’t look anything close to feeling awkward or already hating you.

You could feel the warmth creep up your face. Those rumors about the guy who found his hair whitened overnight was total bullcrap! Why would’ve you believed it? Are you fricking stupid? And had to make that tutor think you’re stupid in non-DA stuff? You ask yourself, almost embarrassing yourself in front of Kazuha again by nearly hitting yourself in the head with an imaginary rolled-up newspaper.

And so you both got back to your own tables without saying a word.

.ೃ࿐

“Isn't it time for you to go to that student tutor?” Kaeya asked. You groaned, looking up from the magical equivalent of a Rubik's cube in your hands, the only difference between both is that it keeps tricking you into the wrong steps by changing its colors and giving you riddles then roasts you for not solving the puzzle. It was a Saturday morning and the last thing that you had the mood to do was tutoring.

You pretend to have forgotten about the whole thing. “Tutor? What tutor?”

“The sixth-year who bleached his hair with a spell,” Diluc said, hands subconsciously turning his own cube.

“Ugh, thanks for the reminder.”

That conversation a few days ago had left a much sour taste in your mouth than you'd imagined that you were dreading seeing Kazuha again. Now every time you think of anything related to hair or peer tutoring (which Diluc and Kaeya are very unhelpfully mentioning in every conversation) you would cringe for the next hour about it– even Scara telling everyone that your face keeps turning into a tomato isn’t as embarrassing as that!

Don't know what to do next? Too bad. The words showed on your cube while it made obnoxious booing sounds. Note to self: get self a set of wizarding chess that is not from Dori.

You put the cube down for it to reshuffle in a flurry of colors and launch itself into Kaeya’s hands.

And for once the cube was right. You didn't really know what to do next, go to the library and face Kazuha or think of some random excuse that can convince Professor Minci to let you off the hook.

You left the common room. You knew that Kaeya and Diluc would literally drag you to the library if you stayed for a while longer, and they weren't sick of making hair-dyeing references yet while you were more than sick of the conversation with Kazuha. 

Speak of the devil, he was standing next to the Fat Lady waiting for you.

“Oh, you're finally here.” He said with a smile as if the conversation didn't happen at all. “I thought you… forgot… or something…” Kazuha’s voice trailed off further as he went.

It was so awkward that you hoped that the floor would open up like the stairs did and swallow you whole (which it sadly didn't yet).

It took something like a million years and 20 tokens for you to generate a response, “It- I… lost my book. And notes, so, uh…” 

You haven't even gotten to the part of calling off the tutoring session because of that when Kazuha replied, “That's fine, there are copies of textbooks in the library… it's really a blessing, isn't it?”

You could do nothing but nod and pray for whoever Merlin is to get you out of this cringefest.

.ೃ࿐

You both go to the library in total silence. There weren’t many students in the halls early on a Saturday morning. But you just can’t relax from the lingering threat of awkwardness. You and Kazuha each grabbed a seat at the left third row as a copy of the DA textbook automatically flew to your desk and opened itself on the first page.

“Ah, right. Would it be a bit inconvenient if you don’t have your own notes with you?” He asked while handing you a piece of paper. Yep, it’s the paper you’ve never seen ever since you’ve been to Hogwarts. You put it on your side of the table, your mind as blank as how it looked. “I never had any notes for DA,” you confess. Kazuha exhales deeply. “From now on,” He stated, “You have to start writing your notes.”

You groan. 

“This subject is no fun…” Mumbling under your breath, you take your spare pencil out from your robe pocket, “I have no idea why Diluc and Kaeya could pass without even studying…” They were telling you to “blame everything on the pre-war Ministry” while you were still struggling with who did what. You were that day years old when you knew that Tom Riddle had never been the Minister of Magic.

Kazuha shrugged. “Most Muggle-borns like me have to study it the hard way. I mean– you’ve never known about the society and history and whatever shit we have here so you need, like, plenty of time to get used to it.” He puts his hair down and ties it back up, not giving a care about how he was swearing out loud. In the library.

You begrudgingly force your eyes back to the parchment and textbook. “How much do you mean by ‘plenty of time’? It’s been a term and I’m still trolling every single DA-related assignment.” Holding the urge to gnaw on the end of your pencil back, you finally write down the words “DA notes” on the paper. 

“Can you tell me what the first chapter is about first?” He asks, gesturing to you to close the textbook. You stare at him with the same blank expression as if his head were the DA textbook. The air solidified around you. How on Earth would you know? You’ve never really touched the textbook, and he’s talking about the first chapter? Finally, you confidently tell him your answer which is definitely right. “It’s about how to defend yourself from the Dark Arts!”

Kazuha laughed– not dryly, but fortunately heartily. “Can’t say you’re totally wrong,” He said, a hint of amusement in his voice, “But I think it’s a sign for us to go through this chapter together.”

You start reading the chapter with him, the memories about the incident last week slowly fading to make way for the words in your textbook. The whatever “grim consequences of the Wizarding Wars” didn’t seem as hard as they seem to be, and even better– you finally remember the name Tom Riddle gave himself. (Hint: it’s not Dildo-lover Rat Mom or anything dildo-related) Kazuha seemed to be a way better teacher than Professor Minci– his voice was calming, but didn’t sound boring when he spoke and scribbled down concepts on his parchment.

“You see? It’s not as hard as you’ve imagined!”

Towards the end of the session (did time pass that quick?) you were at the end of the first chapter. There was still half an hour before lunch starts and you were too lazy to go back to the Common Room yet, so you decided to chat for a while while waiting.

“First year DA used to be more fun,” Kazuha sighed, “They had At least that’s what I heard from my seniors.” He puts his own quill and parchment away.

You say, “Define ‘fun’. If you’re talking about some lame Auror droning on about how he peaked in his teenage years and gave his wand to a dead man in the end, don’t count me in.” You weren’t even sure if Harry Potter did ever come back to Hogwarts to do some speech or whatever for the first years–but it’s most likely true if Kaeya told you. Very big thanks to the trust issues everyone you knew gave you after last week. 

Books in the distance flew back onto their shelves, dust falling down onto your table.

“I mean- yeah, Auror Potter did come back to introduce DA for first years, but, that was like, a couple of years ago. And if I were you, I wouldn't say that he's lame.” Kazuha’s round, autumn-like eyes fell, staring at the dust.

The air was lead. And you both were suffocating in it.

A gust of wind blew the invisible lead, along with the dust away. “Anyways, they used to have lessons on the actual stuff besides all those theories. Combatting Boggarts? Check. Resisting Unforgivables? Check. Professors who make up ninety-nine percent of the Dark Arts themselves? Check.”

He kept on talking about how they postponed all that cool stuff to the third year. You would’ve looked forward to fighting off evil creatures but you were more stuck in Kazuha’s reaction to what you said. You had to blurt and now you don’t think he’s feeling totally good with that. Great.

You headed your own ways without a word.

.ೃ࿐

It has been two months since Kazuha started tutoring you, always sitting at the left third row in tutoring sessions. Your DA grades were getting better– definitely not the best, but having four assignments in a row without a “Troll” was progress. You started to control your big, fat mouth in front of him as well. You didn’t want to risk embarrassing yourself or having him look at the dust again.

Kazuha was a great guy as well– a cool sixth-year that you could rely on. When you met him out of tutoring, he would wave, or stop for a chat with you, slightly blushing when his friends hooted or whistled behind. His kitten– which perched on his shoulder like a Pikachu– even stretched itself to you when you met Kazuha, begging for a boop on the nose. He sometimes talked about his misadventures as a first year which always made you laugh, but you could sense the hint of something else in it, whether in his gaze or tone.

You were walking alone on the path next to the Great Lake on a sunny afternoon. Diluc and Kaeya were busy talking to Dehya about joining the Quidditch team next year and they told you not to wait for them.

The blonde with the red strand in his hair, sitting next to the lake while putting a maple leaf on the calm water surface. With a gentle swish of his wand the leaf sailed away, leaving two lines on the lake. “Didn’t you watch the Quidditch match?” You ask.

He said, “No, I didn’t.” Before putting another maple leaf onto the water. 

“Come on! You totally missed out on how Gryffindor whooped the butts of all those Slytherins! It took, like, three whole hours before Heizou finally caught the Snitch!” You sat next to him, looking at the maple leaf floating on the water.

Kazuha fidgeted with his wand like how you would spin your pen in class. “I… used to love watching Quidditch, but…” He lost hold of its wand, luckily catching it before it fell into the water, “The person I usually watched playing left. So, yeah.”

“Left in terms of graduated?” You ask.

“You can say it like that.”

He stopped putting leaves into the lake.

You sit in silence with him for a while. Before you leave upon seeing Diluc and Kaeya in the distance.

.ೃ࿐

Another Saturday morning. It's raining so heavily that you thought that someone was pouring buckets of black water down from the roof. Breakfast was over already and you were running late for tutoring so you had to ignore the sensation in your gut.

You grab your textbook and notes and make a mad dash to the library, passing the practically waterfalls of rain along the corridors. You look at your usual seat. He wasn't there yet despite you being already– you look at the clock– ten minutes late.

Huh. That's weird. Maybe he decided to go to a new table today for the view? You look into the dark, barely-illuminated depths of the library. Nope. Not searching by yourself. 

You go up to the front table and ask the librarian Pela if she had seen Kazuha.

Pela shakes her head, before picking back up the doujinshi she was reading.

Feeling like sticking out like a sore thumb, you go back to your usual table. Maybe he just overslept like you did and he was on his way here.

Another ten minutes pass. No sign of Kazuha. You open your textbook and start studying Chapter Nine. But no matter how many times you read it, the words just rebound from your brain and back into the textbook.

You close it a bit too loudly in frustration. Where was he?

“Mmnh?” Kazuha appears in the corridor next to your table, black circles under his puffy eyes. He forces a smile and says, “Sorry for being late, I pulled an all-nighter last night and got to bed at five AM. I got myself some coffee, so… don’t worry too much about me.”

He sets his stuff down on the table and immediately starts explaining the chapter.

“… So Aurors had to undergo strict tests…” He kept speaking, eyes on the textbook. His voice was raspy– not Scara’s oh-im-so-dark-and-mysterious type, but rather the type you get when you catch a cold or have stayed up the whole night crying.

Maybe he caught a cold after pulling an all-nighter. Just maybe.

His words fuse with the pattering of the rain on the windows outside. You can’t comprehend anything he was saying while your mind is running a hundred miles per hour wondering what’s wrong with Kazuha even though you know that it’s technically not your business. You don’t even bother asking yourself to focus– your head was just too occupied with these thoughts.

He didn’t notice the fact you weren’t listening at all. “Nowadays, Aurors still have to- to… fight against… the remaining power of Tom Riddle’s followers…” He said, trailing off at the end of the sentence. You look at him. Then at the textbook, where a whole chart of different events with the corresponding years with the title “Major Breakthroughs in Defending Post-War Magical Britain from Death Eaters” occupied two whole pages.

Kazuha was covering his eyes with both his hands, his elbows resting on the table. You can hear his muffled sniffling.

Well, that was definitely more than a cold.

“Kazuha? Uh- you ok?” You felt stupid asking this question. He is visibly not OK, cold or not. The ball of panic erupted in your head. Is this supposed to be normal? Think, [name], you have to think… Why is he like this? What can I do?

Your pencil feels slippery, and if you keep the tip pressed on your notebook you’d be drawing a seismograph.

You had never seen him like this. Like, of course, you guys just met two months ago and you expect him to be vulnerable in front of you? But you always saw him as the “cool senior student”. 

A flash of lightning.

You ask, “What happened?” as if your head has been struck by a Stupefy. It came out as a whisper.

Kazuha rested his head on the table, not looking at you.

The roaring of thunder broke in the library, not helping with anything at all.

“It- it’s just the weather…” He turned his back against you, conjuring a piece of tissue paper.

You put your pencil down. “Yeah, awful weather, isn’t it?” You say without even thinking, your voice sounding dead.

Lightning struck again, momentarily painting the room in white.

Kazuha closes the textbook. “I’ve always hated rainstorms,” he says, his voice still breaking, “They… they took him away. In the middle of a rainstorm.”

Your train of thought gets cut short by the thunderclap. “I’m… sorry for that.”

“No, y-you don’t have to. It’s not your fault.” The feeble candlelight flickers, illuminating his face. Fresh tears were streaming down his reddened cheeks, his red eyes looking like the Great Lake under the sunset. His light hair was slightly disheveled, which he brushed towards one side. “It’s just that… I never thought that they would be that cruel.”

The pattering sound outside seemed louder. “Tomo… I should’ve… Why didn’t I…” Kazuha muttered under his breath.

“Mind if we, uh, just,” You struggle to find the right words to say, “Talk about it?”

Kazuha nods.

“Tomo… he was a nice friend. A Ravenclaw. He was a fourth-year student when I started studying here…” 

The candles flickered a few more times, teetering at the verge of totally going out before reilluminating itself.

“I got bullied for being a Muggleborn and having a strange accent, he was the only other Japanese guy here and he stood up for me so… we became friends…” He paused.

“I should’ve stopped him from being an Auror if I knew this would happen to him… He could’ve been a good Quidditch player or potionmaker or… I was just happy for him when he told me he passed all the tests last summer but just on his very first mission…”

His voice broke again. You scooted over to him. “He sent me a letter that morning about how he looked forward to it and before I could reply, that evening it rained until the next morning and what I saw on the news was that…”

You patted his back. The wind howled, as if it were weeping as well. Leaves flew by the window, which was barely holding on to the frame. You haven’t even experienced such a storm back where you lived.

“The Death Eaters killed him but didn’t take his wand. His partner told me he could’ve survived if they didn’t fire a second spell at him…”

“They really are… heartless. More than I'd imagined. It must’ve been awful knowing that,” you say.

Kazuha continued, “It was. The first spell landed on his keychain instead… Why were they so bent on… doing this? He fought until the last moment… The keychain… we bought a matching pair at a cheap souvenir store together at Hogsmeade… it cracked when the spell hit…”

“I kept it when they sent it to me. And… his kitten… I guess it helped me keep my mind off stuff for a while.”

The raindrops sounded lighter.

“… he loved cats, but his parents were allergic so he got it after graduation when he got to rent a house with his colleagues and updated me about his life and training along with a photo of his kitten every single day… And he was a good Quidditch player but quit in his sixth year. If he were a Quidditch player maybe he would’ve still been here but not…”

The sky seemed lighter as the heavy rain faded. Kazuha fell silent. “Was he happy? About being an Auror?” You asked.

He nodded. “It… it was his lifelong dream. I had thought of pulling that ‘stealing a Time-turner’ trick in those rumors… but I guess he wouldn't listen if I went back and asked him not to become an Auror. It would’ve been selfish of me to do that but there’s just that part of me that wanted to save him…”

You think aloud, “He wouldn't have regretted anything even in his last moments.”

“Huh?” Kazuha asked.

You’ve done it again. Why can’t you take control of what you say? You stare at him, trying not to let him know that your mind is rolling down the spiral staircase for the rest of the summer.

“You are right. It was always his dream to be an Auror. And he achieved it,” He said, looking back at you.

A few drops of rain clung to the window frame, occasionally dripping down.

“It was just… never your fault, ok? Fudge those Death Eaters, I bet they get haunted by Tomo’s ghost every night that they’ve gone insane in Alakazam,” You tell him, not minding that you’re (almost) swearing out loud in the library.

Kazuha coughed out a few laughs as he wiped off his tears. “It’s Azkaban! Why must you make a Pokemon reference here?”

You put up your most innocuous smile.

The bell rings for lunch.

“Anyways, uh,” Kazuha stutters while tidying up his stuff, “Thanks but... Sorry for… just… venting to you like that…” He blushes, red creeping up from his neck to his face.

You give him a playful slap in the back. “No biggie– as long as you’re feeling fine now.”

You walk out of the library. The thick layer of clouds have disappeared, leaving only a few droplets on the trees and the birds singing.

You part ways at the Great Hall as usual.

[100beep]

Title that I forgot to put in: Oh, the secrets you could tell me

The morning three days before the Rite of Descension is a chaotic one at Dawn Winery. As nearly every prominent businessperson in Teyvat does, he’s spending a night in Liyue to hear Rex Lapis’s predictions for the coming year. And of course, he can’t leave without half a dozen staff asking last-minute questions about what to do in his absence. And Kaeya, for some reason - he claims it’s to help, Diluc suspects it’s simply to annoy him.

As a child, he took this journey annually with Crepus - the yearly trip was always an exciting journey, although he remembers the disappointment when he learned that Rex Lapis wasn’t the type of dragon that could breathe fire. He hadn’t been in years - he’d been too busy trying to hunt Harbingers, there was no time left for anything business-related. He’d returned just under a year ago, which was just in time to miss the last one.

Diluc is about to leave on the two-day journey when a voice stops him. “Spare a ride for a god?”

Diluc halts the carriage, sighing, He’s already leaving an hour later than he’d wanted, but he can’t exactly ignore Venti. “You’re a god. Can’t you take yourself there?” he asks, annoyed.

“If only,” Venti laughs. “But the Rite of Descension is important enough that Morax blocks all other flights. And as the god of wind, flight is my chosen method of travel.” He proceeds to demonstrate this by flying into the passenger seat of the carriage.

“So much for asking,” Diluc grumbles. “You can come. But it’s just me going, so don’t expect any free wine. Or any wine, for that matter.”

“What kind of drunkard do you take me for?” Venti protests as the carriage starts moving.

“Based on how you act in my tavern every night, a crazy one,” Diluc answers.

“Oh, when I’m drunk, of course. But I’m not always drunk. Do you know how much it costs to get drunk on a god’s alcohol resistance?”

“I’ve been giving you free drinks for months now. I know how expensive it is.”

“Why is that?” Venti asks. He’d never questioned the abundance of free alcohol before - he hadn’t cared, for that matter, but now he’s curious.

“The Church talked me into it. I thought it would be worth it to avoid paying their taxes. I was wrong.”

“The Church collects taxes in my name!?” Venti exclaims indignantly. “I thought they were just useless!”

“Not in your name,” Diluc reassures him, somewhat amused. Of course the god of freedom would take exception to his church being used for tax purposes. “The Knights got them to do it because they know who everyone is.”

“Oh, all right,” Venti grumbles.

“You should be grateful they’re doing it,” Diluc continues. “It counts as you exerting control over Mondstadt, which is what gives you your power.”

“There is a reason I don’t use that power,” Venti grumbles. Then once his brain catches up to what Diluc said, he asks suspiciously “How do you know where we get our powers?”

“You spend four years hunting the Fatui, you learn a fair bit about divine power,” Diluc answers.

“What exactly were you doing in those four years? I still haven’t gotten a straight answer out of you.”

Diluc sighs. “Some parts I won’t tell you, some parts I can’t tell you, and you know everything else. Here’s your straight answer: no.”

“Fine,” Venti huffs.

The trip into Liyue is almost entirely uneventful. The most interesting part of the journey is when Venti meets the Vigilant Yaksha at Wangshu Inn. He claims they’re old friends.

They arrive in Liyue proper on the morning of the Rite. Diluc abandons Venti to find his unusually expensive reserved seat. (He’d had to stand once before, presumably in a bad business year, and would rather not repeat the experience. The predictions were always longer than he expected.) He’s wondering where Venti plans to watch from - he wouldn’t be able to afford a seat - when he sees the dragon circling overhead. Then he lands, and to the surprise of the crowd, transforms into a mostly-human form. (He keeps the fangs, the claws, and a greatly reduced tail.)

Rex Lapis mutters to himself “I was not expecting that,” too quietly for anyone to hear. Then he raises his voice and begins his predictions, eyes turning milky white as he does so.

The predictions are, in general, an average year for business, if chaotic. One of note is “Taverns, brothels, and other places where men go to lose themselves will find an increase in services needed.” While hopeful for Diluc’s business, it is still rather foreboding.

Of course, it’s overshadowed by the next one - “Visions, Delusions, Gnoses, and other implements of the divine will either greatly increase in power or simply stop working.” Which is fairly terrifying to anyone who knows what that means - and judging from the crowd’s response, that is very few. And it’s not even good for business.

Once the predictions are done, the square empties, and Diluc wanders around the city, enjoying his rare day off. He finds himself sitting in a tea shop of all places - he doesn’t know what drew him there, but he figured “why not.”

A few minutes after his tea arrived, he nearly chokes as Venti walks into the shop talking to the human incarnation of Rex Lapis. (This one’s more human, having dropped the claws and tail.)

“Whatever possessed you to take human form for the predictions?” Venti asks, gesticulating wildly.

“Instinct,” Rex Lapis answers. “For some reason, it was vitally important that someone in this year’s audience knows this form.

“You’re saying that your predictions told you that?” Venti asks.

“Exactly,” is Rex Lapis’s only response. Then to the shopkeeper, he says “A pot of herbal spice, if you please.”

“Of course, Mr. Zhongli,” he replies, completely ignoring the contents of the god’s conversation.

“I suppose he’s another old friend?” Diluc asks, moving over to their table once they sat down.

“And who might this be?” Rex Lapis asks Venti at the same time Venti asks “Is it so strange to visit friends when passing through?”

Rex Lapis and Venti look at each other, then Venti speaks. “Zhongli, this is Diluc, current owner of the Dawn Winery, and far more importantly, my source of free drinks and rides. Diluc, this is Zhongli. Just Zhongli if you know what’s good for you. And yes, he’s an old friend as well.” He then leans forwards and whispers “He can’t shield conversations involving a mortal.”

“Or involving more than two people,” Rex Lapis - Zhongli continues. No one is surprised that he can hear Venti’s whispers. “And that is the limit. If you could see us in the first place somehow, I can shield you.”

The shopkeep comes over with Zhongli’s pot of tea, then notices Venti. “Haven’t seen you in what, twenty years?” he comments, then moves on to the next table.

“Why could I see through your shield?” Diluc asks.

“Likely something to do with a Delusion and a Vision combined,”

Zhongli says. “I don’t know the details, but the concentration of divine energy probably has something to do with it.”

“I left my Delusion behind a year ago,” Diluc says, looking around to see if anyone’s listening. “And if you can’t shield us, shouldn’t we be having this conversation somewhere else?”

“The people of Liyue hear enough that unless they’re deliberately listening, they won’t care. And there’s no one that would want to listen that’s any threat. As to your Delusion, both Delusions and Visions leave their trace on humans.”

Diluc takes a second to process, then nods. “Of course that thing would have weird effects.”

“It shouldn’t have too much of an effect on you once you stop using it,” Zhongli states.

“That’s some good, at least,” Diluc grumbles. “I hope to never use it again.”

“Why do you still have it, then?” asks Venti.

“What do you suggest I do with it?” asks Diluc. “I refuse to return it to the Fatui, and it’s too corrupting to just throw it into the ocean.”

“You never thought of asking your god that you obviously have some sort of relation with to destroy it?” asks Zhongli.

“I can do that?”

“He can do that?”

Diluc and Venti ask over each other, nearly in unison.

Zhongli chuckles at the response. “You’re more powerful than you give yourself credit for - despite your best efforts. And anyways, it’s divine energy. Manipulating it is your entire job.”

Diluc laughs at the look on Venti’s face. “Well, that’s one way of doing things.”

“As long as I don’t keep the power,” Venti grumbles.

“That shouldn’t be a problem,” says Zhongli. “It’s easy enough to dissipate harmlessly. For a god, anyways.”

“On the topic of destroying Delusions, can you tell why your predictions will happen?” asks Diluc.

“That is a somewhat complicated answer,” Zhongli answers. “Anything directly related to my domains - Mora, which includes business, the movement of the Earth, and so on - I can accurately predict. Anything outside of that gets increasingly fuzzy. I can’t tell you why there will be a sudden influx of Naku Weed next year, just that it will cause a decrease in the price of wine. As to your specific question, I don’t know why divine power will decline or increase. I suspect the answer is the domain of Celestia, and as such, far beyond my information.”

Diluc nods. “Not very helpful, but at least I know there’s something coming. Although there’s nothing that I can do about it.”

“As useless as a mortal in the face of Fate,” Zhongli says. Seeing Diluc’s confusion, he clarifies: “It’s a somewhat infamous saying among the adepti.”

“Well, I can’t exactly argue with it,” Diluc grumbles.

“I know better than to try,” mutters Venti, to Diluc’s amusement. “I’ve given it up as a lost cause.”

“It’s a long story,” says Zhongli to Diluc. “One that I’m not getting into now.”

“I suppose you have all sorts of history together,” Diluc says.

“Ask him why Liyue’s a no-fly zone for the Rite,” Venti says cheekily.

“That’s a story I’d like to hear,” Diluc answers, looking at Zhongli. “He got his pet dragon to dive-bomb you as you were speaking?”

“What? No, I’m far more creative than that,” Venti objects.

“He didn’t try to interrupt the Rite,” Zhongli says. “He knows better than that. No, I just closed the air as revenge four hundred years ago… for what, I can’t remember.” He absolutely does remember, but it’s not exactly something he can tell Diluc. “And I’ve left the rule up ever since simply because it’s amusing watching him find alternate ways to get to the Rite when he wants.”

“And I’m the latest in your series of amusements,” says Diluc, somewhat amused himself.

“Indeed,” Zhongli replies.

“Well, as interesting as this meeting has been, I do need to return to Mondstadt,” Diluc states, getting up from the table. “Will you be coming, Barbatos, or is the no-fly order over after the Rite?”

“The no-fly is a week on either end of the Rite,” Zhongli answers before Venti can. “Unless he’s suddenly learned to walk, he’ll be returning with you. But you’re not staying the night?”

“I came here on business,” Diluc answers. “I spent four years away from home. Now that I’m back, I don’t intend to spend any more time away than I have to.”

“What were you doing for the last four years?” Zhongli asks.

“Mostly hunting Fatui,” Diluc replies.

“And something else he won’t tell me about,” Venti states. “Yet.”

“I thought you seemed familiar,” Zhongli says. “I’ve heard stories about the Delusion Thief.”

Diluc shakes his head. “The whole point of that name was to keep me covert.”

“I can assure you that it worked,” Zhongli states. “And I will keep your secret. Although there is someone I know who would quite enjoy a rematch.”

“I’m not fighting Tartaglia again,” Diluc states. “Three times was enough.”

Zhongli raises an eyebrow. “You beat him three times? Most impressive.”

“I managed to hold him off long enough to run away three times,” Diluc corrects him. "If I'd beaten him, he'd be dead. And he never used his Foul Legacy - if he did, I'd be dead."

“You may have been captured,” says Zhongli. “They had enough interest in you to not want to kill you. I expect that’s why Childe never used his Foul Legacy.”

Diluc grimaces. “Don’t remind me. I was captured once and managed to escape. Not an experience I’d want to repeat. And I really do need to get going.”

“Very well then. I hope to meet again.”

Diluc and Venti leave the tea shop, returning to their camp from last night.

When Diluc returns home, he finds a note waiting for him.

“If you would be willing to host, I would very much like to visit Mondstadt once more.” - Rex Lapis.

[yuukimiyas]

HIHI CHLOE !! i apologize it took me a sec to stop by your inbox, but i wanted to say rly nice to meet you, i love seeing your greeting posts everyday. 🥹 i hope tht you’re well & i cannot wait to get to know you & your favs !! <3 do you guys have anything cool planned for this winter?

hello new friend & neighbor reverie!! & omg what a LOVELY name!! - ̗̀(⌯'ᵕ'⌯) ̖́- no apologies necessary bby im just so happy you stopped by regardless ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა tysm!! i love wakin up & sayin mornie to all of my friends & checkin in :3 im happy you enjoy them too!! ooo this winter i def have some fun things on the agenda!!

mr kenyū & i will most def be attending the ballet to see the nutcracker ໒꒰ྀིㅅ´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა we absolutely ADORE it so we try & see it every few winters <33

reo & i will be no doubt attending lots of winter gala’s & ball’s for either soccer or business related things & its always a rlly run time to dress up!! (& boy does he clean up NICE!! ૮꒰ྀི ∩៸៸៸∩ ‎꒱ྀིა)

hmmm kaeya & i will keep up our yearly tradition of decorating the dawn winery & surprising diluc & our friends!! its our fave winter activity for sure!!

as for shinya & i we keep a v low profile (*ᴗˬᴗ) we take lots of snowy strolls when he’s off the clock & drink lots & lots of tea to keep us warm!! it rlly is the simple things w him & i adore him sm!!

eeep!! i love thinkin ab all of the fun winter things to do!! ٩(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )و im sure we’ll def do a ton more stuff too hehee! ty so so SM for writing this cutie lil love note + selfship q!! givin you a huge smooch!! (move over fyodor!!!!!) MWAH!!

[your-local-hoemie]

hello!! i was wodnering if you could do some headcanons of itto, diluc, and xiao (seperate) with a gn!reader!

reader is taller then them, more masculine/male like (?) due to growing up with only brothers/two fathers and just their genes in general. they don't know why they look like they do--just assuming its from thier bio parents--and just doednt care. infact they love it, using it to thier advantage against the characters

just wrapping them in a hug and the characters just...dissapering into thier large form cause thats just how small they are compared to the reader

srry i went on a bit of a ramble um-

anyways just some simple dating headcanons or their thoughts on the reader, anything that comes to your mind really lolz

you dont have to do this if you dont want to of course!

YESYESYESYESYESYES!!!

I relate to this so much!!! I’m not tall but I feel the more masculine part and I’ve grown up around men so lemme project so hard in this >:)

I ain’t suffering with the coloured titles anymore cuz the colour options on the phone are awful T-T

Warnings: fluff, swearing, gn!reader, not proof-read.

Characters: Itto, Diluc, Xiao.

Itto~

Oh he loves it.

He loves it very much.

He loves to flaunt his big muscles and manliness but when it comes to you

Oh boy

Please make him feel like a little princess

He’ll blush and squeal and get all embarrassed~

It’s absolutely adorable!

His favourite activity is sitting on your lap and feeling your strong arms wrap around him.

You make him feel so safe and comfortable!

He always brings you along to find lavenders melons since you can easily reach the higher juicier ones.

Also loves to challenge you to arm wrestling or playful tackle fights

He usually loses but he’ll never admit that over his dead body.

Every time he finds a big beetle (I can’t remember what they’re called) that he thinks is going to win he’ll name it after you!

He really admires you and often gets into trouble trying to impress you though

Please give him a bonk on the head and a nice smooch to remind him that he doesn’t have to do any of that!

I mean how could anyone not love this sweet boy~

Diluc~

It’s such a shock to everyone ngl

They expected him to fall for someone who’s small and petite considering how much of a gentleman his is and his strangely charming reputation with the ladies

So when everyone found out you were the one who stole his heart they were fuckin’ shOOKeth

And he couldn’t be happier to show you off either

His whole attitude is just like:

“Yeah that’s right. They’re mine fuckers”

He genuinely thinks you’re perfect from head to toe

And the fact you can keep up with his already very masculine physique when in combat makes him love you even more

He loves to be little spoon even though he’ll never admit it!

This boy has trauma even if he pretends he’s fine he’ll alway find comfort in your strong secure hugs~

Never let’s you be insecure about your appearance!

He thinks you’re perfect just the way you are~

Xiao~

Inhales

this boy ADORES YOU!!!

He’s always terrified of hurting anything that could easily break under his touch

So the fact your a lot more solid in your build whether it’s either in your height or more masculine appearance, makes him feel a little more ok with being closer!

Since you’ve grown up in a more rough and tumble environment with brothers constantly gnawing at your ankles like feral gremlins

You’re more than capable of keeping up with him

He does get extremely insecure about his height though

Comfort him

Please.

Loves to spar with you as well!

He can go almost full power with you

He never does though because he still knows you’re mortal and doesn’t want to hurt you~

He’s a thigh guy, nothing can change my mind about this

Sooo he’ll love just resting his head in your lap on days when he’s feeling more comfortable with physical contact~

Sends him into fucking heaven.

He doesn’t see anything odd about your build

He thinks you’re absolutely amazing and will always worship everything about you~

Yooo I just finished scara’s story and totally didn’t cry hahahahahaha I’m not ok. I haven’t been this emotionally hurt since Xiao’s story

No I didn’t name him baby gorl shut up

[ilyuu-archive]

🍊and 🍐 please !! 🫶

hiii!! nice to see you visiting in my inbox :D!!

okok so for this one, it's definitely albedo and tighnari which is already a coincidence because these two the smart ones™ but i cannot for the life of me get their dialogue right at all,, probably because their personalities are a bit hard for me to pin down

everything and anything with kaeya's and diluc's relationship, absolutely every aspect of it is something i love and hate at the same time BECAUSE IT HAS SO MUCH POTENTIAL WITH BOTH DEVELOPMENT I JUST WANT THE TWO TO RECONCILE AGAIN SOBS,, can you tell that i relate with the ragbros so much??

[chenyuvale]

Choose violence 1-25

all in one? ok you asked for it buddy

1) the character everyone gets wrong

- most if not all of the men, even itto he is Not a himbo im sorry hes literally a twunk,, or as much of a twunk as hoyo can make them hes also jus awful in general 2) a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom - my top fave is baizhu and he's 100% a switch hes both at the same time so this is difficult for me to argue-- alhaitham and ayato however !!! paragraph incoming sorry--

alhaitham is 100% a bottom not because he wants to be but because he doesnt wanna put any work into the act, he just wants others to do things to him, others doing the work for him basically dfsfsd so ofc that reflects here ( also flushed alhatiham expression >>>)

ayatoooo isss s s s i think also a switch but i dont think too much abt it sjhdf he could be a service top and a power bottom at the Same Time 3) screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

-- every diluc x fem!reader im sorry they are all so bad and also the unironic use of "yandere!(guy)" is,,, never done right or like,,, isnt good sdfsdf at all 4) what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

-- there was this artist i found bc i wanted to look for more diluc artists, right, as one does ! and then after like a couple weeks of tolerating the chiluc bc it started to get on my nerves, they posted a komi cant communicate diluc au thing, and in the caption they had literally said "i thought it fitting considering diluc deserves to be worshipped <3" liKE DID YOU WATCH THE SHOW???? diD YOU PLAY THE GAME?? ?? ? diluc doesnt deserve that nor Want that and the show character komi has a mental illness that makes it awful its not something to be romantisiced at All and they were romantisicing it AND diluc like aughhhh

5) worst discord server and why

-- main genshin server or the keqing main one bc i think the main one jus is Hoyolab part two (derogatory) and the keqingmains is just meta fighting over numbers n shit orz orz orz

6) which ship fans are the most annoying?

-- any and all popular ships but mostly the popular mlm shippers bc they are,,, practically if not Exactly ,,fujos basically (the popular wlw shippers are either Cis Het Men or also sapphic ppl 7) what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them? -- itto for sure, tho the more i saw abt canon the more i hated him, i jus saw a buncha fanon that i hated so sdfsdf 8) common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about -- most if not all of them, most specifically kazuha/beidou family and zhongli/xiao family i fucking Hate that SO much because WHERE did it come from????? the infantalising short guys bitches??? fucking stop it

9) worst part of canon - ugh too much to fit here it could be a2 hour long video essay atp but mostly the colorism fucking Sucks 10) worst part of fanon -- also a lot, but the part that irks me the most is that No One thinks outside of the box, and im not pretending like im special or anything bc of certain things but like,,, at the mere mention of a rarepair they just go "oh no but i like (popular ship) better!" like ughhhhh stop it think differently 11) number of fandom-related words you've filtered - too many to count on twitter but here ive been spacing it out ;> 12) the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them - baizhu for SUREEEE and like look at the everything about him literally WHY after his release whyyyYyyYyyyYY is he STILLLLL unpopular why is he STILL lacking in fancontent im ehrgehrgeehrgere upsET 13) worst blorboficiation - childe,,,,, who made him a fuckboy 14) that one thing you see in fics all the time - they/them pronouns for baizhu ( not a bad thing but not rlly a good thing im getting sick of it a little bit ) 15) that one thing you see in fanart all the time - diluc with a Bow WHY 16) you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc) - a LOT a fucking LOT mostly ships and the Collective Dynamic of the ships bc aughhh they are so boriinnnnnnggggggggggggggggg g g g g g and again the "found family" that comes out of NO WHERE

17) there should be more of this type of fic/art

-baizhluc 18) it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

-baizhu,,,,,, 19) you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

-,,,,,, tighnari-- and i used to absolutely HATE him bc the voice was so just IRked me so Badly it rubbed me the complete wrong way and ruined the character for me, yes i play in eng and ever since the recasting my view of him is much nicer now he doesnt irk me anymore 20) part of canon you found tedious or boring

-ayatos story quest he deserved better still 21) part of canon you think is overhyped

-,,,,,raiden and yae content 22) your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

-- the fact that diluc is 1) BANNED from snehnyaha 2) got WASTED in snezhnya 3) was part of a secret underground organization WE STILL know NOTHING about??? it was never brought up again and 4) Killed his Own Father out of his misery 23) ship you've unwillingly come around to

-uhhhh is i bad i dont know, 24) topic that brings up the most rancid discourse -- "are kaeya and diluc brothers " and to that i say they are exes fuck both sides of the argument 25) common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

--"genshin fans need to touch grass" "genshin fans are the worst fandom ever" literally look at every other fandom, any big hit anime fandom ,, (ahem mha) are like 100x worse then genshin fans, like yeag we're ruthless sometimes sure and will chew each other out thanks to most of the fanbase being on twitter of all places but we wont put glass in cupcakes

[kaeyapilled]

Tbh I really like the... what's the word. Stuffy??? (That's not quite right but it works) sort of sound Kaeya's eng voice has on the early quests and voicelines, though I think they may have tried to slightly up the animeness(?) of it in some later ones (which doesn't sound bad, either; just an observation). It's very human and feels more like a real, genuine voice than the [generic smooth playboy Femme Fatale: Guys Edition] voice some people seem to think of him with would have.

He is smooth and witty and charismatic sounding by design (both his own in-character and by actual marketing character design), and that's good, and I'm definitely not saying anyone talks like he does irl* - I just appreciate them letting him have that smidge of Some Real Guy voice too. It adds character distinction and charm. Like you can hear it some in the "Knight of Favonius" line I think?? That I do hear people talk like in my daily life.

It's interesting, actually; I'm not actually that familiar with most characters' other language voicings (this is extremely still a stupid gacha game (affectionate) and I have a life, hyperfixation be damned), or know enough about the languages to distinguish tone beyond the most obvious, but there are definitely character differences.

I do often see fans of the Kaeya's Chinese voice complaining about his Eng character being more flirty-toned and sadistic, when in it he's a bit more friend's-older-brother-coded (my own 'what I'm reminded of', though the older-brother-ness sentiment def isn't original to me) and pranksterish. And I saw someone joke at one point that Korean Kaeya is just too chill to be the Kaeya in their fic because he's too calm to be bothered by any of it.

One other example I'm familiar with is Childe: ENG shows anger really well, and is a bit more childish and hypocritical, but [I forgot which language but I think it was Chinese or Japanese?] Childe was more resigned and accepting of Sometimes Lying Happens Back To You, if still upset about it, and slightly more mature about that incident. (I looked into his because I saw someone saying they thought that made more sense with him being someone who had to tolerate the Abyss, and I got curious.) And Korean Childe sounds slightly more violent, in my opinion, at least on some of the more playful english lines.

...I mostly specified eng Diluc because I don't actually know anything about his other voices

I think all of the characteristics are interesting, of course, and I suppose they're all 'canon' in each language. In terms of fan stuff, I think it just depends on what the goal is! I just go by preference, but I have seen people specify what "language" of each character they're thinking of for stuff before, and even mix and match a few times.

*(related: while I was looking into the voice differences I happened across a clip where his VA was going on this whole thing about how much breathing the Kaeya Voice takes. It is literally so full of air - catch in universe Kaeya silently inhaling as much as he physically can every time no one's looking at him.)

i have several bones to pick with the english voice acting (and most of them have to do with with the goddamned anime-ness which i am, most of the time, not super fond of) but i actually really like kaeyas voice! particularly early game lol which is also a constant with genshin voiceovers for me.. what i really like about kaeyas eng voice is like. the cadence of his words. the rhythm of his speech. it sticks in my head and i keep repeating his voicelines to myself like a stim lol but anyway. once again i digress.

those are really cool details to know about! i had never looked into it before; im not familiar w like.. any of the other voiceovers (stupid gacha game (affectionate) and all that) (i thought about switching to a diff language a while back but i was too attached to kaeyas eng voicelines and that singlehandedly made me decide against it lmao) but i think it's pretty fun how the tone of the voice actor and the words chosen in translation can slightly change the characterization sometimes. i think the smooth talker flirtatious tone kaeya has influences a little how i imagine him, like, what sort of persona he displays to others, what he wants people to believe he is like, etc. in the end its all subtleties! and i love the idea of mix and matching these little characterizations when making fanon content because that is what fandom is all about babey

[seoafin]

HI HELLO I READ THIS ON MY FLIGHT TO JAPAN AND I WAS TYPING DOWN EVERY SINGLE THOUGHT IN MY NOTES

The opening...off the bat I love the themes of fate and destiny and personal choice!!!! especially in the context of like....love. is love preordained??? is it personal will?? a mix of both???

The air of familiarity as soon as the mc enters Mondstat is so nostalgic like the longing is there but also something seems to have happened which tainted the city for them :( but also it's such a warm scene when they enter the library and everyone recognizes them. it feels like a relief after years of being a stranger which comes with being a traveler

I'm sooo curious as to what went down between the mc and kaeya....the tone change when he enters the library!!!

Familiarity is a wretched comfort....yeah..... diluc as The Wretched Comfort!! Soggy man.

Ohhhhh when the mc is looking over the bar and you see the familiarity of their memories vs change in the absence of their presence ghhhh

see I am a SUCKER for childhood to lovers I love the slow build up and I love the small moments of diluc and the mc's childhood relationship it was so sweet to see diluc protective of them as well as their relationship with playful kaeya and crepus' dad like presence

Mc choosing books for crepus based on the covers.....I love them

I knew we weren't going to get the whole of the incident(tm) in the chapter but I was still hoping for it 😭 but!!! All the small hints pointing to it being diluc leaving after crepus' death and mc's teacher's death....eagerly anticipating the full backstory reveal

Oh god the last convo you really said emily bronte "you said I killed you—haunt me then!" diluc is so gothic romance (I have not played genshin I don't know much about his character)

but also wow there so much to pick at and discuss in the last convo....it seems to me diluc is being somewhat considerate of mc's feelings but the mc is more hurt at the fact that diluc wants pretend there is no history between, that they're nothing more than strangers. ack I love my misunderstandings sooo much I love how they can illustrate the thought process of characters (hence the misunderstanding) and I love seeing them resolved

You are sooo skilled at building atmosphere/the tone....the entire time I was reading this fic I was so nostalgic. Like I said before the constant comparisons of past vs present but more than that the LONGING for the people they used to be....they are seeing the ghosts of each other when they look. It's been years! They are characters that have grown without each other but they are also people that only know the other person in the way they used to be ....sorry if this doesn't make sense but I'm obsessed with the dichotomy of past vs present in terms of people....the natural progression of growth in people especially as it pertains to two people who have spent their childhoods and teenage years together and their divulging paths. Fate throwing back together after all these years! But is it actually fate? Or just the mc's own longing....justifying it as fate to make it seem as if it was inevitable. As if they didn't have a choice to begin with! That way they don't have to deal with their diluc baggage in a way that doesn't place the onus of responsibility and desire on them 😭😭 I love mcs who just pack up and leave. So relatable. That's me fr. Good for them!!!!!!

anyway I apologize if I got anything wrong I don't play the game and I'm not familiar with diluc's character past fanfics and the wiki but I do have a fondness for genshin fics considering ive seen and read many well written ones and this is another one I enjoyed immensely!!! looking forward to the next chapter whenever it's available!!! thank you for writing!!!!!!

part o - part iii

|| diluc ragnvindr x f! reader || E/18+ || hurt/comfort, fluff, post-trauma || wc: 16.2k  || ao3 || masterlist ||

You return to Mondstadt after many years away, sick, with an feeling that's all-too familiar and unwelcome.

❁ my heart, your song - @firein-thesky ❁

minors & ageless blogs dni

a/n: AH!! here it is :'^) the diluc fic!!!! thank you so much to @itoshisoup for beta reading (along with my non-tumblr pals han & ennis as well!!) this section contains four chapters, separated by partitions. if you'd prefer to read this fic with the chapters/parts separated, it will be posted as such on ao3!

this fic is a collab with the lovely cielo (@firein-thesky)!! our fics share a mostly canon compliant universe :3c give it a read!! it's linked above!!!

...

tags: alcohol use, descriptions of vomiting, reader with chronic injury, reader is referred to as 'little sister' by kaeya (not related), unreliable narrator/reader, soggy soggy SOGGY diluc, protective diluc, diluc and reader were childhood friends to lovers, reader is a healer

PART o: kismet

Once, on one of your several trips to Sumeru, you visited the Akademiya. You only went to poke at dusty books and sit in on a few lectures as a wanderer who liked a good story and a bit of learning. There, you met a scholar whose name didn’t stick with you, from the Rtawahist darshan.

They had the far-off look in their eye of someone who had seen a bit too much, for who they were. You knew that some scholars went mad in their pursuit of knowledge. Saw things that they couldn’t cope with even if they tried. Your new friend looked to be close to such a threshold.

Perhaps, in an act of pity, you took this scholar out for a drink. Or two. Or seven. The exact number of cups and goblets escapes you now. But what you do remember, as you sat together on a terrace high above Yazaha pool, legs swinging, was their ramblings. 

“There’s a map of everything, up there.” They gestured wildly to the sky, twinkling and bright, with the moon as company. “Deciphering it... Well. That’s another thing. But it’s there. And if we figure it out, fate will be in our hands to know.”

They continued, stretching their hands to the cosmos above them, as if their fingertips could decipher the orchestration of the Gods with nothing but passion, wine, and will. It was admirable, in your drunken state. Perhaps foolish to your sober mind. 

Nonetheless, such an idea stuck with you. Even after you departed from your bygone friend, and continue your wanderings, you think about it. You laid on your bedroll more than once, staring upward, and wondering—

Why did the gods mosaic the sky? 

You are just a mortal, how are you to know? You tried not to dwell on that specific thought. The one you find yourself coming back to, in your worst nights—

(If I could read the stars, and foresee a tragedy, is there any way for a calamity to be stopped? If you knew fate’s charted course, the crest of its fortune and the wake of its tragedies— could you circumvent them?)

(Could you have stopped your calamity?)

It was a self-deprecating thought, and it dragged you back to a place and time that was both unpleasant and unnecessary to recall. 

There’s no way to change the past, you reminded yourself. You could only move forward. Never back. You only balked at the stars in your weakest moments and pondered such ideas like fate and destiny. You could live in the illusion of carving your own destiny as you traversed Teyvat. One where you wrapped gauze around wounds after the disaster had passed. Heal sullied ground. You could do everything you could to help people. That was enough, you decided early on in your travels. 

You’d help people (and avoid the nation Mondstadt). Simple enough.

One foot in front of the other.

PART i: there’s a puzzle we crafted

You’re tired. 

So tired. 

It’s a merciless type of exhaustion that you rarely, if ever, let yourself slip into. To wander Liyue’s peak and narrow paths in such a condition is dangerous, even if the Millelith and Guild did a decent job keeping settlements of Hilichurls suppressed. In general, you can take down slimes on your own— except when you find yourself this deliriously tired. 

Normally, you don’t even bother traveling in this state. You would drag yourself to the nearest village, throw some mora at a layperson and set up shop wherever they had space. Be that an inn, back room, or stable— you aren’t picky. As long as you could rest for a few days, perhaps help out the village in your spare time. 

Your most recent wanderings, however, took you far onto the Yaoguang Shoals for several days, and by the time you returned to solid, proper earth, you were desperately low on essentials. Your nearest respite was an old village crawling with Hilichurls. Your next best option would be a miniature expedition onto the shores of Dragonspine and hope the cold wouldn’t kill you before you could find shelter and stoke a fire.

So, you keep going.  

All the way past Stonegate and the quarries beyond it. You’re only half-lucid as you wander into Mondstadt for the first time in years. 

You roost in an abandoned cottage some ways down the road. Finally resting for the first time in days. Never mind your still-damp bedroll or the structural unsoundness of the ruin. You practically fall to your knees and pass out, given your state.

(Running has made you tired, hasn’t it?)

When you awaken, you ache. (Familiar). You nibble on the last of your rations and it hits you—

You’re back in Mond, aren’t you?

Archons.

You should leave, really. It’s your first thought when you realize where you are. You shouldn’t be here. You’re not even near the city proper, but a panic unfurls in your chest like you’ve been struck. You immediately begin to pack up your things—

Two things hit you then:

One: You’re far lower on supplies than you had thought. 

This isn’t a new development, however. It’s just far worse than you thought. You paw at the contents of your bag, realizing that the dried zaytun peaches and jerky you had for breakfast were the last of your rations. The weather had been poor across Liyue in the past weeks, and many of the normal markets you would’ve run into were shuttered because of it. Regardless, you didn’t think you were on your last fucking morsels. 

Deep in your bag, all you have is a torn, unusable tarp and a pitiful handful of the crystalline shards you used to purify water. 

You don’t even need to look at your medicine kit to know the paltry state it’s in. Far too many empties. 

Two:  A burning sensation that splits you wide open and threatens to eat you alive. 

You barely twist your foot the wrong way. Hardly at all. Regardless, something like liquid electro shoots from the twisted (broken, mutilated—) parts of your right foot, up your thigh, and shakes you down to your bones. 

You stumble, using the wall for support and keeping your weight off the injury. It shouldn’t be aggravated this early in the day. You shake it off from your ankle, lowering yourself to the dirt floor to massage out any of the tension and subsequent pain that you can. You’ll be able to walk, surely, but it’s getting harder and harder to deny that the old injury isn’t worsening over time. 

You remember, vaguely, hearing tell that there was a skilled healer in Mond once again. Younger, a Vision-bearer in the Church, maybe? 

You know enough about the Church of Favonius that they would at least look at your injury, if this half-remembered healer really does exist and is affiliated with them. 

You hate that Mondstadt seemed like the best option. 

(Later, you’ll realize it’s all a bit like fate, pushing you toward that stupid city.)

You find yourself at a loss, shake your head, and sigh, “... I guess it wouldn’t... really be so bad to visit.”

You’ll just stay for a day or two.

...

Mondstadt’s front gate is so familiar it nearly hurts. The guards have different faces than the ones you remember from your youth. Their demeanor is the same— kind, open, like how people from Mond tend to be. They don’t hound you too much as you pass, and you enter the city without issue. 

Midday sun lights Mondstadt proper when you arrive (your journey from the quarries took a bit longer than necessary, considering your route went wide around a particular plot of land that you refused to go near.)

The city bustles with noise and activity. Merchants line the streets, carts and stalls overflowing. Seafoam banners and floral wreaths hang along the stone arches and walls, while garlands of fresh flowers stretch from building to building. The scent of fresh flowers, baking bread, and sweet wine envelopes you.

Windblume, you remember. It is spring, after all.

You hope the crowds of the festival will help you blend in as you meander through the city. You keep your head down, counting cobblestones and being quick with your purchases. Better to get in and out, probably. If you can snag a new tarp and bedroll, you could set up across the bridge for the night, and be gone by morning if you could track down that healer within the afternoon too. 

As you walk up the main run of Mond proper, toward the fountain and the smell of warm spiced meat, someone, archons, gasps from behind you and says your name.

(Later, you’ll recall this moment. Perhaps kismet turned on its axis for you to still and—)

You freeze, going stiff. You’d know that voice anywhere. Sweet and teasing, curling down your spine in a way that feels both ambiently flirtatious and horribly familiar. 

Part of you screams to ignore her. Let her think she has the wrong person and continue your journey in Mond unimpeded by an old specter. You could be out the gates in a number of hours, if not minutes if you really need to (run, run, run).

But, there’s a temptation. It breathes itself alive, from the back of your mind to the front, entirely unavoidable. 

(How long has it been since you’ve seen a familiar face? One that you know instead of just recognizing?)

You turn slowly. “... Hi, Lisa.”

...

And, somehow, you end up in the Knight’s of Favonius headquarters, with a perfectly warm cup of tea in your hands, nestled in a library you hadn’t been inside for nearly a decade. It smells of old parchment and leather. Steam rises from your cup, fragrant with Sumeru rose and Guili cinnamon stick with black tea leaves. You recall the scholars of the Spantamad darshan favored this blend; you shared more than a cup or two during your visits to the Akademiya. 

Lisa settles in the seat across from you, with a small box of pastries that look sticky and sweet. Your mouth waters. 

“How have you been, dear?” Lisa gives you a soft look. “It’s been so long.”

So long, you add to yourself. Sitting across from Lisa is giving you a gut-twisting sense of deja vu that has your palms sweating.

“I’ve been well,” you say, gently. “Travelling, still.”

“Oh, how exciting.” Lisa smiles and lays her cheek on her palm. “What was your most recent destination?”

You hummed. “I recently went to Natlan’s capital, just for a few months. I ended up staying with a smith who gave me odd jobs in exchange for housing.”

“Oh, wow,” Lisa preens for you. “And before that? I apologize, dear, I’m not caught up with your journeys.”

Ah, the lack of letters.

“I apologize.” You rub your forehead. “I haven’t been writing lately. It’s been... hard to keep track of things, though it’s not an excuse.”

“I would disagree.” She flashes you a sympathetic smile. “You’ve been crisscrossing Teyvat; it makes perfect sense why you would struggle to keep in touch with folks. I’m sure you’ve met plenty of friends on your travels, too. I imagine you have lots to juggle.”

Lisa is partially correct, you suppose.

“You continue to give me so much amnesty— too kind,” you laugh, and lean back in your chair. 

Lisa looks a bit wistful as she puts down her cup in exchange for one of the pastries. You recognize the expression on her. You’ve only seen her wear it once before.

“How long are you staying in Mond?” Lisa asks, nodding down to the box. You leave the treats untouched.

“Not long.” You refuse to look at her as you answer, “Just for the day. I needed some supplies and Mondstadt was the most convenient.”

It’s a clinical answer. One you say intentionally, perfectly, so she can’t poke holes in your logic. You hope, pray, she doesn’t push back on your short visit. Any longer, and you might accidentally run into more faces you don’t wish to see. Lisa was tangentially related to... everything, but she was the least obtrusive person you could have run into. Still, you’re in the lion’s den, in the Ordo’s HQ, for a cup of tea, praying that you can slip in and out undetected outside of Lisa.

(It’s easier like this, you tell yourself. You can’t get twisted up in this place again.)

Lisa examines you, tracing you up and down with her gaze in a way that’s horribly disarming. If it was from anyone else, you’d think they were checking you out, especially with the sweet, upward quirk of her lips. But, this is Lisa, and you had forgotten how astute she is.

“Only a day? That’s a shame.” She sighs, sitting back and stirring the tiny spoon perched in her teacup. “It's Windblume. You should stay.”

“I could,” you muse and give her a sympathetic smile. “But, I don’t think it would be wise. It would be better if I got on my way quickly.”

She raises an eyebrow. “How far back would a few days in Mondstadt put you on your travel plans?” 

‘Plans’. 

You nearly bark out a laugh, but you keep it lodged in your throat. 

“Not terribly far, but I... I don’t want to stay, Lisa.” You reach across the table and squeeze her free hand. “It isn’t good for me to linger here.”

The look she gives you breaks your heart. Her brows wilt, her eyes get a little sadder, and she grips your hand unyieldingly. “... Are you sure, sweetheart? I’m sure the Knights could put together some lodging for you—”

She presses, and you hate the feeling of it. You know her kindness is not misplaced, but it makes you roll around in your skin regardless. Archons. You interrupt her with a tight smile, “Truly, Lisa, I am grateful for the offer, but I will be on my way come tomorrow morning. Perhaps another year.”

“Perhaps.”

You sip your tea in silence for a moment. You stew, barely, not at her specifically but circumstance. It boils just underneath your skin, just as it has been since you entered Mond’s border. Speaking to Lisa has only made the feeling grow and burn. 

You can’t meet her gaze— you can’t. You can feel it on you regardless. You know you’ll see more pity and maybe that familiar bite of anger she wields so well. 

“Why don’t you tell me when and how you got that Vision then?” She nods low, down to your waist. Your dendro Vision hums there, tied to you with a fraying, braided string that desperately needs replacing. 

There isn’t a problem with indulging a bit of... this, is there? You’re only sitting to chat. Drinking some tea. You can hunt for that healer and duck out of Mond’s walls by sundown. Easy. You pluck one of the buttery-looking pastries from the box and plop it on your plate. 

“Sure, but only if I can get a refill on this tea.” You smile and raise your cup.

...

You lose track of time, talking to Lisa. 

You do tell her how you obtained your Vision, and of your subsequent journey through Snezhnaya to its port following your graduation. She tells you some of the new gossip of Ordo Favonius, and that she’s been thinking about picking out a ring to give to Jean (though, she has a hunch the other already has one in mind. Lisa thinks it'll be fun to meddle with whatever precise plan the Acting Grand Master (nice) has in place.)

She continues to pour you tea and push more baked goods onto your plate. You enjoy them, and her company. It’s a rare treat to sit down for so long with nothing more than chatting on your mind. 

“How was studying in Snezhnaya?” Lisa asked, eyeing your various bags. “Cold, I imagine?”

“Very.” You grimace, fishing around in your satchel. “But, worth it.” 

You pull forth a palm-sized metal insignia. You keep it tucked away, most of the time, only flashing the thing when necessary. You only need legitimacy every so often.

“Oh, wow.” Lisa gawks a bit. “May I see?”

You hand it to her. “Be my guest.”

She studies the metal, running her fingertips along the edges where the different colors meet. Vibrant blues meet greens and whites, with pink and purple flowers cast around the bottom edge. The shape resembles something between a shield and wheel, with each one of its seven portions having some meaning for the institution. They escape you now. 

“I’ve heard that the Tselostnyy School is quite the place,” Lisa says. “No one at the Akademiya seemed fond of them, but I imagine it was out of some sort of insecurity.”

You snort. “Probably. Folks at Tselostnyy actually teach healing— not just study the human body for the sake of some academic pursuit. The two schools have opposing goals.”

It was one of the main reasons you declined to apply to the Akademiya at all. 

“I’m glad you found a place to study— I know it was hard, after Teacher passed away.” Lisa reaches out as she speaks, going for your hand. 

You withdrew your own from the tabletop, hiding it in your lap. “It was. But I managed.”

‘Managed.’

Lisa gives you a look that drips pity. She looks as though she’s going to reply, just as the door to enter the library clicks open. 

Your gut drops to the floor and your shoulders stiffen. 

“Lisa? Could you proofread this draft for me? I’m afraid I sound too formal again—” It’s Jean, it’s Jean.

It’s her voice, the distantly familiar click of her hard heels against the wood flooring. You bunch the fabric of your trousers in your fist, forcibly reminding yourself to breathe. Jean walks from behind you, rounds the table, stops at Lisa’s side and looks at you. 

Jean’s eyes widen.

“Oh, sorry sweetheart— I’m a bit busy with a friend right now,” Lisa says easily, oblivious (seemingly, probably not.) She gestures to you and winks. “I can take a look after lunch, if you can take a break with me.” 

Jean says your name— gasping it more or less, tightening her grip on the document in her hands. 

“... Hi, Jean.” You give her a little wave. “How have you been?”

It’s bittersweet, the feeling that curls and grows in your chest as she brightens and pulls up a chair next to Lisa. It’s familiar and rotten, all the same.

...

The commotion in the library brings other visitors.

Lisa wears a smitten smile as other knights make their way into the library. Aramia and Flyn— they look older, long grown out of their adolescence and more into their skin. Hertha has crinkles around her eyes that grow tight when she recognizes who you are. 

The Spark Knight barrels in the room being lazily chased by—

Kaeya.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck— 

He scoops up the little knight and turns to the tea table, now surrounded by familiar faces, and you can see he has his lips pursed for some sort of teasing quip. Probably at the expense of the Ordo’s acting Grand Master and Librarian.

Then, Kaeya sees you. 

You watch his jaw snap shut. Whatever clever thing he had to say dies on his tongue and you watch it. It’s a little satisfying after all this time. You’ll cherish this moment, you think. The split second of confusion, the realization, the shock and— the guilt.

He wipes the expression off his face easily, as if it were never there to begin with. But you’ll revel in his discomfort. Your own little revenge, several years too late.

“Oh, wow—” Kaeya whistles, clicking closer and settling Klee on his hip with a bounce. He says your name almost breathlessly. “Little sister, it’s been quite some time. We’ve missed you.”

“Did you?” You tilt your head. “That’s surprising.”

You hold your tongue. You dig your teeth into the sides of it, forcing yourself quiet. The feeling that’s boiling in your chest won’t be extinguished by verbally thrashing Kaeya in the middle of the Knight’s HQ— but, Archons—

It’s tempting.

“‘Sister’?” The little knight’s nose scrunches. “Mister Kaeya, you said you only had Diluc, who’s only kinda your brother. No sisters!”

“He’s teasing me,” you placate her, voice sweetening. The little knight looks at you with wide eyes, a little awed. “‘Mister Kaeya’ is an old friend of mine, we played together lots when we were little like you.”

An oversimplification, of course. Little Klee doesn’t need to know what happened after the sun-swept days of sword fighting and house ended at the winery. Kaeya’s air quickly fades as Klee squirms down and asks kindly for a hug. You don’t think she can remember you— you only held her once, when she was so small— but you know her kind age and remember so differently from your own.

“Why are you in town?” Kaeya asks. “I thought I’d never seen you within city limits again. Color me surprised.”

You lock your jaw, as Klee bounds away from you and wrestles her way onto Jean’s lap, “Passing through, is all. I’ll be gone by morning.”

“... So, you’re not staying for Windblume?” Kaeya sits, pouring himself a cup of tea. You think you might hate him. “That’s a shame.” 

“I’m not,” you clarify and roll your eyes. “Though everyone is insisting that I do.”

“You really should.” Lisa takes the opening and insists, “It would be lovely to have you.”

Of the group that has congested in the library, you only hear agreement. Jean has a bright look in her eye that makes you shy away. 

“I... I really shouldn’t.” 

“Why not?” Kaeya grins, foxlike. You think he just likes making you squirm.

“Do you have somewhere to be?” Jean inquires, setting her chin on her fist.

“Well, no—” There’s always somewhere for you to be. You can’t stay. You shouldn’t even be here now. 

“Then, stay.” Eula leans against the doorframe, entered at some point. 

You’re being thoroughly peer-pressured, it seems. 

“...I’m being bullied into staying for Windblume, aren’t I?”

“Perhaps.” Jean gives you a sheepish grin. “You’re missed, Windblume is just an excuse.”

You ache. 

“Stay in the city, enjoy some wine,” Lisa insists. “Catch up with folks. I’d love to see more of you while you’re here. I’m sure you have stories to share of your travels.”’

You barter, “... If I do stay, I need to find a healer. I heard that there’s a skilled one, living in Mond. A Vision holder.”

Jean opens her mouth, but Kaeya speaks first. “Done.”

You consider. 

You’re fully aware that your arm is being horribly twisted into staying for Windblume. You know this is unwise. But—

(There’s something to it. Something you can’t admit it to, not aloud, not yet— but being in a room full of people who do not see you as a stranger, but rather an old friend. They know your name, and you know theirs. There’s something to knowing the streets you will walk if you stay. Familiarity is a wretched comfort.)

“If you need lodging, the knights could easily put you up in the dormitories,” Jean offers.

“No, I—” You sigh, scrubbing a hand down your cheeks. “I appreciate the gesture, but if I do stay I’ll camp outside the city.”

“So you’re staying?” Klee’s eyes shine. 

“I—”

“In that case, come out for drinks tonight,” Kaeya insists with a sly smile that makes you want to eat glass. “I’ll buy a round.”

“Wait—”

“Angel’s Share does bring out its Windblume vintage tonight—” Lisa says enticingly. 

“Absolutely not.” You smack your hand on the table, far louder than you intend. 

Kaeya cocks his head, amused. Lisa and Jean share a look, and the rest of the knights look a bit bewildered. You hate to raise your voice, but Archons, this crowd can be pushy.

“I’ll stay. But I’m not going to Angel’s Share.” Never ever again.

Lisa does seem to notice her error in suggesting it and gives you an apologetic smile. She reaches for your hand and squeezes. You feel a bit lighter.

“Diluc won’t be there,” Kaeya states. On the nose. “He doesn’t bartend on weeknights, even during Windblume.”

“... Really?”

“He doesn’t,” Eula corroborates. “I have knowledge as well that he is in the middle of merchant deals with a group from Natlan. There is no reason to think he’d be at Angel’s Share this evening, if that’s your concern.”

You pick at the skin around your nails. 

“I’ll think about it.”

(You agree, by the time you leave Ordo HQ. After many other promises of free wine and dancing, you find it hard to refuse. It doesn’t hurt that you confirm with multiple others that Diluc doesn’t bartend on weeknights. That he’s been caught up in business, and hasn’t been in the city much at all.)

...

You had enough mora for a few nights of lodging. You figured that Goth may have even given you a discount, as an old friend of his. Archons know how many times you worked odd jobs for him and his sons, patching up walls and the occasion twisted ankle or jammed finger. 

After some searching, you find Goth in one of the many gardens of Mond proper. As happy as he is to see you, he regretfully informs you that he has no free lodging. 

“Windblume has booked out all of my short-term properties,” Goth sighs. “Unless you’re looking for a minimum six-month lease, I don’t have any rooms available.”

(Goth explains to you that the goddamn Fatui has rented out the entirety of his hotel... indefinitely? Upfront? Hence the lack of a room.)

You tell him it’s no trouble, wave off his concern. You don’t mind a few more nights of camping. The only allure of an inn or hotel was the possibility of consistently bathing and a soft mattress. 

You pick a spot outside of Mondstadt proper to set up your camp. There are many tents already set up— travelers, like yourself, here for the festival. You recognize colors and fabrics from all over Teyvat. It warms something in you, that you aren’t alone in being an outsider here.

(Such a thought feels wrong, because it is, isn’t it? You aren’t an outsider at all. This is your home. The only place you’re not an outsider.) 

You struggle to set up your tent, and decide to leave it for later. Wandering around Mond for the afternoon aggravated your injury, and you instead take the time to poke around in your medicine kit for a quick tincture. Something to settle the—

(Burning, screeching pain that tracks up your leg. You’re grateful the other travelers aren’t watching how you collapse against a pile of discarded crates, barely holding back a hiss of pain.)

(It’s getting worse, isn’t it?)

Teacher always said that nothing was harder on sickness and wounds than stress. It was a wisdom you remembered but barely heeded.

You use the dropper and place the tincture under your tongue. It tastes bitter and coats your throat as you swallow. 

...

The sun rains gold on Mond as you meander toward the Angel’s Share. Liquid amber that coats the buildings and cobblestones. It’s nostalgic in too many ways, and it makes something behind your ribs ache.

(You’re hit with the distinct urge to run. To turn tail and leave Mondstadt forever, again.)

You shove it down, swallow it whole, and bear it. Bear it. Not forever, just for a few days. You can catch up with some old friends, leave any old scores unsettled and untouched (undisturbed, unthought about—), and depart. Maybe even fix up your foot in the process.

You hesitate outside of Angel’s share.

It looks different than you remember. The door and its frame have been replaced, the door and its frame hardly ached. There’s a message board outside that you can’t recall being there previously. A wreath hangs on the door, woven with blue and white flowers for Windblume.

You want it to be different. You do. Because if things are different, walking into Angel’s Share wouldn’t feel so daunting. You could pretend that this horribly familiar tavern was someplace else entirely. Maybe even delude yourself into thinking that this little building was its own, unique, carved-out square during one of your travels. A fantasy where you’ve never been here before.

(The warmth under your disgust wouldn’t feel so misplaced then.)

You enter.

It’s lively, bustling with patrons of all types with the festival beginning so soon. You recognize clothes and people from all corners of Teyvat, and it comforts you once more. You blend in easily, lingering near the door, and peek at the bar.

Diluc is nowhere to be seen. Another barkeep mans the kegs, barrels, and bottles. You don’t recognize him— which brings you some relief. 

It would be easy. To be delusional about this whole thing. That Angel’s Share could be just a tavern in the middle of nowhere and the faces that are around you have no chance of being familiar. You’re in a sea of folks who are travelers, just like, or mostly unfamiliar. You could, couldn’t you? Tell yourself that this isn’t a place where—

(You had your first drink. Learned how to mix cocktails with Crepus. Play fought Diluc and Kaeya in the rafters on the third floor. Where you last saw Diluc—)

You clutch a hand to your chest. Who knew that emotional pain could be so violently physical? 

Jean calls your name from across the room, pulling you from your stupor. You meet her eyes, and the smile you force to meet your eyes feels a little more genuine.

With the call of your name, several other patrons look up and gawk for a moment. You get a few more ‘oh hello!’s and ‘I didn’t know you were in town!’ thrown your way and you give them all sheepish smiles. Faces you can’t place very well. Features and familiar expressions mutilated by time and a botched memory. It makes you feel sick to your stomach— archons, and you haven’t even sampled this year’s selection of thousand-wind’s wine, have you? 

Jean flashes you a sympathetic look when you finally make it to their table. The table is flushed full— intimidatingly so. The knights have come out tonight. Lisa and Jean cozy up on the same bench seat, while Kaeya (die) and Albedo sit across from the two. You offer the alchemist a timid wave, which he returns in kind. Some of the other knights have spilled out to the tables around you, chattering away with wine-stained lips.

And the night’s still young.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d show,” Kaeya practically purrs (choke) and leans closer to you on an elbow. “Were you able to find some lodging for the festival?”

“Yeah, I found something that will work.” It’s not technically a lie. Besides, they don’t need to know where you’re sleeping.

Kaeya raises an eyebrow and Albedo elbows him politely in the ribs. You make a note to buy him a drink later.

“I’ll get this round,” Lisa says, standing and grabbing you by the arm. “My treat. A welcome home present.”

You let her tug you through the crowd.

You end up seated properly at a barstool while Lisa orders. She wove her way through the crowd and up to the bar so easily, like liquid. You hardly have to wait at all before a drink is passed to you across the bar top.

You gulp half the glass down, greedily.

You, notably, have chosen not to cessate from dandelion wine in your absence. It was a rare treat to come across outside of Mond and Liyue, so when you could get your hands on glass, you let yourself partake. Whatever melancholy it brought with it could be tempered with more of it anyways.

It goes down easy— it always does. Thicker than other wines, sweet but bodied, with some type of nutty and berry note to it. You never understood the process of winemaking, despite so many years spent at the winery. When Crepus or Diluc or one of the staff attempted to explain, it all easily went over your head. 

The tannins sour your cheeks. You swallow down another mouthful, greedy, and slam down your empty goblet. Lisa looks at you wide-eyed.

“I don’t recall that you were ever much of a drinker,” Lisa remarks as she flags down another glass for you. She sips her own, mischief in her eyes. 

You shrug, nodding to the barkeep who fills your cup. “I indulge, occasionally. Forgive me for needing a drink in this environment.”

You gesture to the carousing around you. A lyre and fiddle play in the corner, and you distinctly hear two different bard songs. One is significantly better than the other, and you may have even enjoyed it if you could hear it fully. 

Being near the bar forces you to see changes. They’re hard to not notice. The signage behind the bar has changed. An old menu and drink list have been changed out for something sleeker. Paintings and their frames replaced. The glass you’re drinking out must be new, along with the tankards that the barkeep washes whenever he has a free moment.

There are still ghosts in the corners.

“Gods, you look like a wet towel.” Kaeya’s shouts, nearly in your goddamn ear, as he slips into the empty seat next to you. He drapes an arm over your shoulders like you’re old friends and not the byproducts of a dissolved relationship. You think about shrugging his arm off, but decide against it. 

You throw back the rest of whatever is in your glass and shout for another.

Kaeya catches your eye for a moment with a nearly unreadable expression. You recognize it (and concur that you need to be far more drunk than you currently are in order to survive the evening.) His brow lays smooth, lips in a not-quite smile, and his posture is a bit too rigid. You know he’s picking you apart, albeit quietly.

The expression disappears a moment later, and he has a new bottle of wine in his hands (“For you, little sister.”) Your cup fills yet again, and you drink.

The world begins to feel fuzzier, easier, and the pain in your foot and leg dulls. God, you try not to indulge in drinking too often (it’s simply a recipe for reliance, given your condition. Regardless, you're a physician who knows better than to turn to the bottle rather than medicine), but you feel the temptation of it occasionally. 

It’s an easy friend to indulge in under these circumstances.

One of the bards, the one with loose braids, strikes up a conversation with Kaeya, looping you in with an exchange of introduction. Your cheeks warm when you notice the slur of your words, sipping your cup to disguise any embarrassment. The bard must be drunk, with how much sweet wine he drinks, but he hardly acts it. Poised.

Lisa pats you on your back after your fourth glass, seemingly pitying you in your stupor. 

The good bard, at some point, leaves Kaeya’s side. Kaeya’s back to leaning into yours, the furs of his outfit prickling your nose. If you were sober, you’d be spewing curses at him. But in your drunken mind... it was fine. Fine. Maybe the warmth of him against your side wasn’t entirely unwelcome either.

You loosen up, whether you want to or not. 

Lisa drags you out of your stool after your fifth drink, to take pulls off a pipe a traveler offers and to dance with her in the main room of the tavern. The bards play a duet now, in tune, though the good bard from earlier carries the performance.

You laugh as she twirls you, dipping you near the floor. Some of the patrons cheer and whistle at the move, and you let loose a giggle that never would’ve left you in your right mind. Her face swims before you. Your insides are warm. Things are okay, maybe. For now.

So, you dance.

You dance with Jean and Kaeya, even dragging Hertha in for a round. Eula refuses, though apologetically. She’s a bit too drunk herself, and Amber insists on staying by her side to nurse her with water and pyro-warmed pets to the back of her neck.

(Do you envy them? Maybe. The skinship of it seems nice. They’re so familiar with each other, even from a distance. So lax and tender with each other even within such a setting. You cannot imagine receiving such treatment.)

Kaeya spins you back to the bar and buys you another glass.

“You dance better than you used to,” he croons in your ear. “even with that dreadful limp of yours.”

You bark out a laugh and punch him in the arm with hardly any force (you’ll regret not making it hurt more, later). “Wow, and here I thought wine curbed your silver tongue.”

“Unlike some, I can hold my liquor just fine.” He shrugs and sips.

You, on the other hand, turn the corner from ‘tipsy’ to ‘blasted’ as you hit the bottom of your goblet. Your stomach churns, spelling a hangover that will rot your stomach and the space between your eyes come the morning. The room doesn’t spin, not quite yet. 

You lay your forehead on the bartop. 

“Aw, had a bit too much?” Kaeya tsks. “How unfortunate of you, to not know your limits, even after all this time.”

You grumble something unintelligible. 

He sets a cold hand on the nape of your neck and your ground yourself on it.

(You can regret it in the morning.)

You have absolutely no idea what time it is, though the tavern is still rowdy. You imagine late, at least near the high moon if not into the early morning. Windblume was a celebration of drinking after all. Angel’s Share stays lively, despite the hour, though the drone of voices and folk songs becomes lost on you as your eyes slip shut.

Amongst the din, there’s a firm thud— the sound of wood on wood. Another sounds just after, though much closer and more shallow. You only make out the sound because of its old familiarity. The sound of the counter flap falling and straining its hinges. It must be one of the only pieces of original hardware from the old Angel’s share— the sound is identical to the one in your memory (maybe, you’re drunk, you may just be nostalgic—)

The barkeep (Charles, he told you his name though you didn’t give him yours) shuffles away, maybe, based on the thump of feet amongst the roar of the tavern. A shift change.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d show.” Kaeya’s hand leaves you. You can hear the grin in his voice.

There’s a huff from behind the bar. The clink of a glass. A squeak as it’s dried and shined with a rag.

“Do you think I’m unreliable?” 

Your eyes stretch open, wide, in a flash. Horrible, wretched familiarity (with the way a voice can bring you so much anguish and warmth in tandem.) You don’t look up. You stare down at the floorboards, count the grains and notches in the wood. Steady your breathing. 

You know that voice.

You look up, slowly, against all better judgment. If you were sober (Archons, if you were fucking sober—) you would’ve turned, held your eyes shut and ran out of the bar without looking back. You would’ve never dared to peak and pull the thread that dangled in front of you.

He’s blurry, but he’s there. A trim waist that leads up to broad shoulders, arms that bulge more than you remember, scarlet hair that falls in waves from a high-tied ribbon. Scarlet eyes, cut and polished like rubies. 

It’s Diluc, who meets your gaze for the first time in almost a decade. Just as shocked and wide-eyed as you are. 

The glass slips from his hands and shatters.

PART iii: the World (born)

You met Diluc Ragnvindr when you were just children, doing what children do best— playing while the adults talked.

Your parents— traveling merchants— and Crepus Ragnvindr sat down for wine and sweet rum after a lavish supper. Your parents shooed you off. They didn’t need you clinging to their legs while trying to discuss the intricacies of a potential (and lucrative) contract with Dawn Winery and its splendid dandelion wine.

Crepus takes you under his wing a bit, showing your parents to a fine vintage and you to his two boys.

“They like to play in the vineyard this time of day,” Crepus says, a bit wistful. He leads you by the hand. “The crystalflies soar lower when the sun dips beyond the hills, and the fireflies come out.”

You like fireflies.

He shows you out to the courtyard, and you catch sight of two boys scampering around amongst the greenery. Crepus calls them and they both dutifully bound over, the way young boys do, enthusiastic and fast. The one with the pretty blue hair follows the one with the pretty red hair.

Crepus introduces you. Kaeya. Diluc.

Diluc has round cheeks and a soft jaw. He carries baby fat still, pudgy in his arms and legs and round in his belly. His cheeks are flushed with the late summer’s heat and a day of play. He has a brush of freckles over the bridge of his nose and cheeks. His hair is shorter than it will become, but long enough that you think your mother would envy him.

His eyes widen when he sees you. You’ll never be sure why.

(Kismet turned for him earlier, maybe. All it took was you.)

You spend the evening with your side wedged into Diluc's, watching the lazy flight of anemo crystalflies by the water. You tell the boys about the constellations you know, and make up a few that you don’t. You trace them in the sky with the tip of your pointer finger. You ask to braid Diluc’s hair and he lets you. 

Crepus finds you all, just after dusk, dozing as the fireflies begin to dance.

...

Your family visits the winery several times each year. You enjoy the visits immensely. You’ve grown quite close to the Ragnvindr’s, and Kaeya too. You always barrel off your family’s wagon, running ahead of them to greet the boys, who are always waiting for you too.

You play swords with them, though you aren’t any good at it. You always bring them trinkets from wherever you and your family have been. You like to gift Crepus a book or two as well, though you don’t know what they’re about. You choose them based on the covers.

Diluc lights up when you hand him a little shell from Liyue’s shore. You tell him about the cliffs where you found it, and how you’ll go there together some day. You’ll show him the geometric columns of stone that seem to climb all the way to Celestia. You will show him where the sand bars become one with the sea, and how to dig for crabs and shells with your bare hands. 

Diluc likes you, you think. He always lets you slip into his room after the manor has fallen asleep. You sit across from one another on the velvet window bench. You hug a pillow while he tells you about how he’ll start training as a knight soon. He holds a vision now— he pats it with pride. 

(He tells you how he obtained his vision in your absence. The first time he picked up a sword against an adversary, it appeared to him. It’s a grand thing, brave. He was protecting one of his favorite stray winery kittens from a boar near the edge of the property. He raised his rubber training sword and he was granted Celestia’s blessing.)

You think he’s lovely.

...

The boys start training with Ordo Favonius. They practice with the Gunnhildr girl, the older one, who wears a ribbon in her hair and has eyes like midday sky. She’s a few years older than you, and intimidates you with her maturity, but she’s kind. 

The older knights let you watch their training when your family visits. You post up during their drills, watch their forms, their blunders, and their successes. A knight named Varka always takes Diluc aside to teach him how to best wield his vision with his weapon of choice. 

(A greatsword. A claymore. It’s almost your size, probably. The one Diluc uses during training is Favonius issued, smithed with their crest near the base of the blade. You know the one he’ll really use. A family relic that Crepus brought up from storage for him— a rectangular blade, metal cast in black and red, with an elaborate furl stretching from the hilt. Crepus asks Diluc to wield it when he’s ready.)

Kaeya offers you his sword, one day, at the end of training. The junior knights soak in their own sweat as you take the blade from Kaeya. The knights make it look so effortless to wield such weaponry. They carry it at the hip like it's an accessory and not carved metal. When you wrap your hand around it, the weight shocks you. You barely heft it up, struggling with the balance of it. The trainees rib you a bit for it, and it makes you blush hot and hard.

Diluc scolds Kaeya, taking the blade from you when it's clear that brandishing it one-handed as intended is close to impossible for you. You feel some relief when Kaeya takes it back and shrugs. 

“You won’t have to worry about wielding a weapon like that— ever.” Diluc says on your way home (home, home, home, it’s becoming your home—) that day. “Especially a sword.”

“Why?” You ask.

“I’ll make sure you never have to.”

“Hm... what if I want to?” You try to be cheeky with him.

He gives you a playful shove and you bump into Kaeya. The latter groans and makes a choking sound.

“You don’t,” Diluc replies, flashing you a smile. “If you did, you would’ve played swords with Kaeya and I more when we were little. You always liked to watch.”

“It’s more fun that way!” You hip check him. “It’s interesting to see all of it, rather than participate.”

“Yeah, sure,” Kaeya chimes in. “I’m sure it has nothing to do with how weak your arms are.” 

He squeezes your bicep and you shriek at him, chasing him ahead down the path. You squabble all the way home (home, home, home), rolling down the hills back into the Winery’s valley. You belly laugh together, tears in your eyes. It’s good. 

You only go silent when you notice your family’s wagon, packed and ready for departure, idling in front of the winery. 

...

You don’t travel well, you never have. 

Your parents had informed Crepus of this during your first visit (“Never well, even when my wife my pregnant— the little thing gave her the hardest time on the road.”) Despite this, you had always meandered with your family on their circuit from Liyue to Mond. 

One of your visits to the winery, just around the turn of your childhood to adolescence, you fall ill.

Your parents brush off your complaints upon arrival. Chills, aches, and a cough— “It’s from the rain. Your clothes are still damp.”. Your usually lively arrival was dulled. You barely touched the dinner Crepus provided before retiring to your favored room.

You hate being sick. You hate how your gut churns and you feel so cold, despite the fire one of the maid’s stoked in the big fireplace. You sniffle and snot over the back of your hand, fighting tears. You fall ill so frequently, but it doesn’t make it easier. Even your softest clothes feel scratchy against your tender skin— you feel horribly breakable. 

There’s a gentle knock on your door before it opens. Diluc joins you by your bedside, kneeling, watching you with wide ruby eyes.

“My father told me you’re sick,” he says gently. “You don’t look well.”

You give him a wilted look. “It happens.”

“... It shouldn’t,” Diluc says with a conviction that your fever forces you to miss. “He says that you get sick often.”

“I don’t travel well.” You parrot what you heard your parents say a thousand times, to innkeepers and merchant-folk alike. “It’s alright, Diluc. I’ll be well in a few days.”

Your teeth chatter. You bury yourself deeper in the covers.

Diluc looks unconvinced. He disrobes as much as is proper, and asks quietly if he can join you. He’s warm, from his pyro vision, he tells you. He can see how cold you feel.

Whether he had such a vision or not, you would’ve said yes.

You pull away the duvet, inviting Diluc closer. It’s innocent, a sharing of heat. You press your forehead to his chest and he lets his arms fall naturally to your waist. It cages you. It feels safe and warm, and you don’t think you’ve felt that before.

You give him the smallest ‘thank you’, voice burnt and charred with fever. Diluc chases off the chill and embers alike, replaces them with the hearth that he will become to you, and you think that kismet might’ve shifted for you then, too. 

...

You leave, a few days later, still sick. 

You return, several months later, still sick.

Whatever cold you had during your last visit had metastasized— or so your parents say. They seem moderately unconcerned as they sort through the inventory they’ll be taking for their run.

Crepus doesn’t look convinced. 

Diluc helps you inside. You barely hold yourself on two feet, and need to stop and catch your breath several times. Kaeya loops his arm over your neck and Diluc hoists you by the waist, and the two nearly drag you to your room. 

A doctor is called, a healer from Mond that knows the Ragnvindr’s well. Diluc and Kaeya stay by your side as the healer draws up tincture and grinds down herbs and oils into a soft balm to slather on your chest. 

Diluc lays with you in bed again that night, over the covers, not daring to touch you. You seem so fragile, only half-there in the room with him. He resents your parents horribly for allowing you to carelessly decline in such a state. It shows in the way his expression twists into a scowl whenever they’re within his vicinity.

...

Crepus offers his home to you— no, rather he insists.

You’re still ill, lungs gunky and fever hardly waned, by the time your family deigns it time to leave. They plan to cart you along, never mind your condition. Diluc, if he had less restraint, would’ve cursed them out in the winery’s foyer. 

(The wet sound of your breathing. The little whimpers when your fever spiked, signaling that it was time for more of the tincture the healer left behind. The way you balled your fist in his nightshirt during the worst of it.)

Crepus says it’ll be no trouble to house you, for however long you need. You’ve always taken to the winery easily, and clearly need a stable place to recover from your illness. He enjoys taking in a stray or two. One more, especially one he thinks so fondly of and that he knows his boys adore, is simply a blessing, not a burden.

...

Diluc ascends to cavalry captain of the Knights of Favonius just around the time that you make a full recovery. 

It takes months— for both of you. Diluc patrols and trains with the knights when he’s not by your side. He’s incredibly well-regarded by Mond, beloved by his fellow knights and the townsfolk as well. He has ample support from all around, and his father glows with pride. 

(Diluc bears the weight of his father’s expectations well. You don’t even notice Diluc squirm under the pressure of it. It all seems to come naturally to him— being a hero.)

You see your healer every few days, drink your teas and diligently rest while you recover. The illness sticks in your lungs and you take to reading up on medicinal plants and potential treatments. It gives you some understanding of the remedies that your healer makes for you. Your healer finds you promising, despite your sickly state, and offers you an apprenticeship, if you choose to pursue such a profession.

It’s success after success, a time bathed in thick gold sun that feels as warm as it tastes.

You and Diluc dance at his ascension celebration. He holds you by the waist, clumsy like the young man he is, but you don’t mind. You loop your arms over his shoulders, memorizing the blush that paints his cheeks, and the dimples that carve them. You twirl him under your arm and laugh up to the sun and moon alike. You pull the ribbon from his hair so it unfurls over his shoulder. You run your hands through it without a care.

(Diluc looks at you, when you’re not looking at him, with such a reverence. You can’t see it yet, but it’s a burgeoning thing. Love and devotion caramelized by innocence, by want and need intertwined. He doesn’t know how to say how he feels, not yet; the feelings are still loose and undefined. But smoldering kindling he is.)

...

Crepus offers his home to you, permanently. You have taken to it so well, and his boys— his boys adore you. The staff does. You have so much growing for you in Mond, it seems silly to pack up your belongings small and tight so you can ride out on merchants circuit once more. Only to return sick once more.

You accept, hesitant at first. It’s a scary thing to give up the life you’ve known, even if the one Crepus extends to you is far more comfortable. Your parents have no qualms. You think they enjoyed your absence too much. They seem content to leave you at Dawn Winery, promising to continue their circuit, so you’d see them a few times a year.

It makes something in your ache and cry, but there’s many things to balm it in the manor. A warm fire and Adelinde’s recipes, along with whatever new tarts and sweets Crepus brings home from Mondstadt proper— they all make it easier. Good company too. Kaeya always has new ideas for schemes and little adventures. Crepus brings you gifts and makes sure you’re settling in well to your new space. Diluc is ever-dutifully at your side, whatever the circumstance, and you at his. 

You still sneak into Diluc’s room in the late night. You nestle up, side by side, on his plush window bench. You link pinkies and talk about everything.

...

“I thought this one was a bit boring.” You look up to Diluc, backwards, craning your neck. “The love interest was a bit shallow for me.”

“I agree,” Diluc answers from above you. He shuts the book deftly with one hand. “This author’s pieces usually have a bit more depth to them. This one was a bit flat.”

You tend to come to the same conclusion on the stories you share.

The Small Study (ow, ow, ow, ow) is a room most near Crepus’ wing of the manor. It’s exactly as it sounds— a small study. Something Diluc’s mother made sure was constructed for him, prior to her leaving. Floor to ceiling bookshelves line the walls, with a long table slicing the room in two. When you were young, very young, you, Diluc, and Kaeya would sit at the table and write your own stories. Color with paints that Crepus bought for you from Snezhnaya on recycled receipts and old ledgers. 

These days, the table is mostly bare and a bit dusty. You use it more than Diluc, though most of your studying with your teacher happens at their cottage, in Mond proper. Diluc and Kaeya have a training room a few doors down, one that Crepus constructed, with mats and straw targets, and more armaments than Ordo Favonius probably knows about. 

Most of your time in the Small Study is spent in the corner, tucked close to each other. You have amassed an impressive number of spare sheets, pillows, and blankets, and have constructed what could only be called a nest. You and Diluc take to lounging on it in the mornings and evenings, when you both have the time. You read together. Sometimes you aloud to him, and sometimes him aloud to you.  

Diluc’s voice has taken to breaking lately. You find it adorable and can’t help teasing him about it.

“I’ll have to hunt for a new novel at the markets today.” You sigh. The sun is rising above the cliffs, bathing the shelves and columns of dust ichor gold. You throw your hand up, watching the beam soak your skin warm.

Diluc catches your wrist and brings the back of your hand to his lips. 

Little things, skinship, he likes. He never says anything much about it, only asks quietly if it's alright that he keeps such proximity to you. You eat it up, his heat, his presence— you want all of it. You’re gluttonous in your youth (you have yet to know starvation.)

“Be careful on patrol today, okay? I’m helping Adelinde make that sweet bread you like before I visit Teacher.” You huff, maneuvering to you’re at his eye level. You tug his cheek, still soft with baby fat. “You better not have any extra bruises when I pick you up today.”

“I’ll try.” He rolls his eyes. “Even if I do, you’ll patch me up, won’t you?” 

“I could have Teacher do it,” you huff. “I know you don’t like how rough they can get with you.”

Diluc scoffs, “They don’t like me—”

“They like you plenty—” 

You squabble, soft in your chests, because it's all easy and slow. The romance novel gets tucked away into an overflowing shelf, bulging with others that you’ve already finished. 

Kaeya is shining his blade in the armory, and you collect him before heading to Mondstadt proper. It’s a routine, each day, one that you enjoy and cling to. You enjoy your training and you feel only pride seeing your boys bud and grow in their strength. You fight, like young ones of your age do, but it's all in jest. Simple. Your squabbles get settled with wrestling by the river or when Crepus intervenes and fathers the three of you.

It’s good and you never want it to end.

...

Diluc grows into himself. He’s gangly in his teen years— long arms and bulging shoulder blades he’s yet to grow into. The pudge he’d had around his belly has disappeared, sucked away by a growth spurt or two. He grows a bit more into his frame, each year closer to adulthood that he gets. Muscle building on muscle. 

Teacher says you’re doing well with your studies. You pour over books on medicinal herbs and medical techniques during the day, and watch Teacher heal when patients are around. You become adept enough to see patients on your own, for small injuries. 

You fix up Diluc whenever he comes home to you. Cuts. Bruises. The odd fracture or two. He’s the person you ever stitch a wound together for. He doesn’t flinch. So trusting.

...

Crepus gets odd, at some point. You’re almost old enough to be considered an adult. He starts asking you questions you know the answer to, but it seems like he’s seeking something other than the truth. Sentiments that he wants to squeeze out of you, to satiate something in him that you can clearly see, but don’t know how to name.

(He’s a businessman— is it in his nature to be greedy—?)

(Forget. Forget. Forget.)

...

You wish it had stayed so kind and good for longer. You wish you appreciated it more, but you didn’t fully understand the goodness laid before you until it was so brutally ripped away from you. 

The night Diluc turns eighteen, your world shatters. Burns. Immolates while you lay drunkenly dozing in a friend's warm bed. You don’t greet the wreckage until you awaken. Alone, drowning and with a new pang in your stomach.

PART iii: the stitch the wound the burning

You instantly slam your hands on the bartop. You whip your head around to Kaeya. He wears a wide, awful grin. So fucking smitten with himself.

You hate him. 

“Fuck you,”  you snap. 

You push up, knocking the bar stool over with a bang. You turn on a heel and run from the tavern. Wordless.

(You run. You should’ve run. You should’ve never come back. Ever.)

You know the display caused enough of a ruckus that Angel’s Share fell nearly silent as you left. You know that your vision shuddered out of your control, sending dendro to liven the flowers around the tavern. It felt sick. To know that the blooms would be wider and more beautiful while you ran. Running, running, running. 

Lisa and Jean, maybe, shout your name as you sprint away. You ignore them— you have to. The temptation to turn back and face them drowns in the wine that churns in your stomach. Your breath feels too hot and heavy in your lungs, like lead and steam. You feel like you might die.

(Diluc in the same room as you. Diluc in front of you.  Not a ghost, a breathing body. Flesh. He would’ve been a bit too warm, to the touch. You know him to be. He’d grown so much— how much had you missed? Archons, you miss him—)

You barely get out of Mondstadt proper before you bracing yourself on one its outer walls, forcing your finger down your throat, and heaving your guts out onto the high grass. All of the splendid wine you sampled color the ground blood red, surely staining your lips. Tears drip from your lash line. You feel sticky as you draw your fingers from your throat, spit and dribble sliding down your wrist. 

You curse and shake. 

You wipe your hands down on your trousers and scrub at your lips with the edge of your sleeve. You spit pretty scarlet and nearly hurl again.

The sun has set, and the dark is a comfort. It cloaks you, allowing you to duck easily between shadows and firelight that other travelers warm themselves by. No one looks at you twice. You’re sure you seem like a drunkard, not— Not whatever you are. You drag yourself back to your campsite.

You fall to the ground, drawing up your good leg by the knee and press your forehead to it.

Fuck.

Fuck the healer. Fuck Windblume. Fuck seeing any friends or familiar faces. You discard the plans, crushing them down until you decide they’re not worth it. None of this was worth it. If you’d only ducked in and out of Mondstadt’s market, you wouldn’t have met Lisa. Gotten twisted up with Kaeya. Dared to enter Angel’s Share. Seen Diluc.

You knew the mere sight of him would send you. You knew. You feel foolish. Stupid. If you were a fraction more sober, you would’ve dragged yourself out of self pity and set up camp for the night. Instead you stew. You swallow back dread and bile and clutch your shoulders.

(You always knew this was a risk, coming back here, didn’t you? That’s why you never dared to even get near Mondstadt’s borders. Now you’ve done it.)

You certainly have.

You rub your eyes again, grimacing at the taste in your mouth. Forcing yourself up is a task, especially trying to keep weight off of your (now very) bad foot. You struggle to balance, propping yourself up on a pile of discarded crates and get to work setting up your campsite for the night. You resolve to sleep until dawn, pack up, and be on your way. You’ll head back to Liyue and catch a boat out of the harbor. You’ll go anywhere. Do anything. 

(To be far away from here.)

You struggle with your tent and tarp. It’s infinitely harder to set up your sleeping arrangements when you’re hobbling around on one leg. Emptying your stomach of its content has made you lightheaded (or, it's the panic that is thick and porous in your blood. Burrowing into your flesh. Will you even be able to sleep tonight?) You fight to keep your breath steady as you struggle to stake the tarp into the dirt.

Someone says your name from behind you. Breathes it like it's lighter than air, weighted like a gospel.

You turn, for the second time, against better judgment.

Diluc stands above you, wearing the same shocked expression he had in Angel’s Share. 

Your lips twist, your brow falls. You feel yourself sink. It’s the same feeling you get in your stomach when you’re put toe-to-toe with an adversary out in the wilderness. It’s the feeling you get when you get a patient a little too late and can’t be sure if you’ll be able to drag them back from the brink.

You breathe his name right back.

“... You’re here,” he says. His voice has evened out. Deeper than you remember, and rougher, but barely.

“I am,” you answer as neutrally as you can. You school your expression and turn back to your tarp. “Please leave.”

Diluc doesn’t answer. He’s frozen above you, so close that you swear you can feel the heat coming off of him. 

“Don’t ask me to do that,” Diluc says, like a demand and not a request.

You bristle.

“I’m setting up my camp for the night,” you state plainly. “Then I will be sleeping. I will be gone by dawn tomorrow. I apologize for any disruption I caused at... at Angel’s Share.”

You press your hands over the top of a nail. The iron digs into your palms. You shove at it anyway, until it’s snug against the earth.

“I don’t care about that,” Diluc replies with an edge to his voice that’s unfamiliar. “That’s not of consequence.”

“... Then why are you here?” You crawl across the ground, brace yourself on a crate, and stand. Your weak foot hovers just off the ground. “Why follow me, Diluc? I’m sure you have better things to do.”

You say his name like it's a curse and face him.

(And it’s like coming home.)

(If you had any less of yourself, you would’ve sank into the earth and wept.)

“I don’t,” he says. Arms crossed. Shoulders square. You see him struggle with his words, chewing on the inside of his cheek, just like he used to. “You left so quickly, and Kaeya—”

“Bastard,” you spit. 

Diluc muffles a laugh (a full sound so lovely— you used to do anything to hear it). “He didn’t tell you I would be bartending, I’m assuming?”

“He told me, expressly, that you would not be bartending.” 

“... It is my tavern. Windblume is the busiest time of the year.” He looks a bit wounded. You can’t tell if you’re imagining it. “Kaeya sent word that Ordo would be at Angel’s Share in full force this evening. My presence was called.”

You scowl, “I realize that now.”

Diluc sighs, deep and hard and full, “You left so quickly, and Kaeya told me you were most likely staying outside of the city. I was... worried.”

You let out a breath through your teeth, maybe a laugh, some unholy thing and you shake your head. You can’t bear to look at him for too long, “Well, I’m fine. Promise. I just wasn’t expecting to see you.”

“Clearly.”

“And you weren’t expecting to see me?”

“No.” Diluc sighs. “I... No. I wasn’t.”

You don’t know what else to say to him. 

“Go.” You shoo him off. “I need to finish setting up and get some sleep. Sorry again for causing any trouble.”

You turn away, going to reach for your tent—

Diluc grabs your upper arm. He keeps you steady and upright.

“You didn’t.”

The contact burns. Sears through you like you’re just gossamer and old silk. You tense with it. When did his heat become unfamiliar?

You open your mouth, part your lips just barely, but nothing comes out. Your mind empties.

“Come back to the winery.”

His words cut you from any of your reverie. Your grief forces itself up in plumes, from the base of your spine to the corners of your damp eyes.

“Absolutely fucking not.” You tear away from him. 

He lets you go. (You suffocate the part of you that mourns the loss.) 

“It’s not safe outside the walls.” He takes a step back. Breathing room. “There’s no lodging available in the city, I’m sure you found.”

“I did, and I’m fine out here, Diluc. I can protect myself just fine.” You pat the dendro Vision on your hip. Your weapon remains unsummoned and out of sight.

“It’s going to rain.” Diluc frowns. “And, your tent is torn.”

He gestures behind you, and sure enough, a massive tear runs through an entire side of your tent. You hadn’t noticed. 

(If you will not go where you are supposed to be, perhaps fate will push you there? Align the stars and cosmos just right—)

“I recall that you never enjoyed camping,” Diluc says and it's like a knife to the chest. The idea that he remembers anything about you. “You’ll have a bed for as long as you’d like.”

“Diluc—” You’re near to cursing him out, let the Archons, Celestia and the damn Stars hear it—

“I’m sure Adelinde would love you to see you too.”

Oh.

Oh— Adelinde. When was the last time you sent her a letter? Or read one of hers? You have a stack of them, sealed with purple wax and bound in twine, shoved in your bag. Among your most prized possessions. You’ve hardly let the ink smudge, despite time and condition.

“... She still works for you?”

“Of course.” Diluc’s voice sounds strained. 

“Elzer too?” You ask.

“Yes, he’s been at my side since—”

“Since you came back to Mondstadt,” you answer for him. “Since you returned to the winery.”

Elzer had been at your side too, when you were running the winery in Diluc’s absence. Same with Adelinde.

Archons, you miss them. 

“I’ll stay at the winery,” you say after a beat. “So I can see them.”

Diluc lets out a sigh, shaky and short. He flexes his hands, open and closed. Relieved. The moment of vulnerability passes.

“Will you be able to walk there with—” He gestures to your foot.

“Yes, I’ll be fine.” You put weight on it, swallowing down any pain. You can bear it. 

Diluc offers his arm, and you refuse it, striding past him. 

You walk side by side back to Dawn Winery.

...

It does begin to drizzle, eventually. Nothing close to proper rain, but a thick mist that dampens your hair and clothes. The chill of it sinks into you, unpleasant but not unbearable. You cling to the discomfort of it. You and Diluc do not speak to each on the way back, other than the time or two you announce you need a short rest for your foot.

Fatigue hits you as you stumble down the valley paths leading into the winery’s main grounds. 

You blame the wine. 

The front door looks almost the same, perhaps the wood refinished. Diluc pulls forth a shining brass key (different, than the one that you had during your tenure as ‘master’ of Dawn Winery. That key was thick, old iron. Rusting at its corners. It always felt cold and heavy. An entire year it was tied to you. Tethered to your waist on the very same belt that now holds your vision.)

The lock was replaced.

The interior of the winery is different too, you find. It makes stepping inside less jarring— the floors, once dark, long-planked hardwood, has been redone to intricate patterns of lighter, warm-toned wood. Less candles, more electro-powered fixtures set into the walls and ceiling. The couches look different, brighter and fluffier with fresh cushions. Even the grand carpet that covers the main room, bearing the Ragnvindr crest, appears to have been freshened. Maybe even re-tuffed. It’s generally brighter.

“You’ve... updated things.” Your voice trails off as you shrug off your cloak and hang it on your arm. 

Diluc follows your line of sight to a new tapestry on the east-wall. Not of the family crest, but the vineyard. It’s far more ornate than any you remember; you can see the metallic gold weavings shine, even in the lowlight. The tapestry is ringed by paintings, portraits and some landscapes. You recall Crepus commissioning many of them, or creating them himself. There’s a number of new photographs as well.

“I have over the years,” Diluc replies. “It was necessary.”

You hum, pausing. “... I like it. It’s nice.”

It’s nice because it doesn’t feel quite as much like you’re walking into a still-breathing cadaver. You expected to be greeted with an interior you had seared in your memory. Corners you’d still see ghosts in, picture frames that were askew that you hadn’t been able to bring yourself to fix. You know which floorboards were creaky and which windows had the worst draft. 

This version of Dawn Winery from your memory doesn’t exist anymore, in any way or facet. What’s left certainly isn’t blank or void, but it’s more unfamiliar than you expected. It smells like rose oil and beeswax rather than cedar and tobacco. 

“Master Diluc? You’re back earlier than expected.”

Adelinde breaks you from your stupor. 

She looks much the same— the same uniform, though perhaps her hair’s a bit shorter? There’s new wrinkles around the corners of her eyes, sun spots around her forehead and the bridge of her nose. Her eyes are still kind. They go wide when she sees you, and the mug she’s holding nearly slips from her grip.

Your chest tightens.

She says your name and it’s like you’ve been cut through. Flesh parting around a sharp blade. 

“Hi.” Your voice sounds soft and so much more broken than you can accept it is. 

“Welcome home.” She smiles, all the way up to her eyes.

If you were a little more weak, perhaps a few months more weathered— you would’ve broken then. You would’ve fallen apart in the foyer of Dawn Winery, drowning and hungry and soaked to the bone in something colder than rain water. You hold yourself together, barely, thin threads wound around you to the point of constricting keep you upright. Sure-footed. Almost-whole.

But, Adelinde knows... doesn’t she? She must. She has an uncanny ability for these things. It’s because she watched you grow, watched your toils and supported you. Mothered you when needed. You counseled and consoled each other, during the worst of it.

It makes you feel less guilty, less ashamed, when you nearly throw yourself at her. You wrap your arms around her shoulders and smother your face in her shoulder.

Adelinde hugs you in kind. She still smells like pine-cleaner and that jasmine perfume she imports. She wraps you, in herself, squeezing so hard you’re afraid she’ll undo the strings binding your heart together. 

“H-How have you been?” you ask. Tears sting your eyes.

She strokes the back of your head, through your hair. “I’ve been well. And you?”

You smush your face into her shoulder. You don’t know what to say to her. Instinctual honesty climbs up in your throat— you suppress it. 

“I’ve been better,” you say, softly. You hope only she can hear. “Excited to sleep in a real bed. Take a bath.”

Adelinde goes still, slack— then she almost crushes you. You feel her heartbeat and your lip wobbles.

“I’m glad you’re home, then. Let me fetch you a cup of tea. I’ll make sweet bread in the morning.”

“T-That sounds nice. Thank you.”

Diluc, who has been silent and watchful, clears his throat. “They can take whichever room they like.”

“I’ll prepare the west wing guest room.” (Far from your old bedroom.) She whispers to you. “There was a Fontainisian merchant we were hosting— she left all of her luxury skincare and bath supplies here.”

You pull away, narrowing your eyes, “Are you implying something?”

“Not at all.” She gives you a good-natured smile. “They’re yours. Let’s get you settled.”

You nod and she guides you with a hand on your lower back, up the stairs, to the west wing. Diluc has made himself scarce, seemingly disappearing into thin air to the northern wing of the manor. You only half notice.

Archons, you’re tired.

Adelinde helps you settle in. She sets your bag on a vanity stool, shows you a newly renovated bathroom with a tub that could easily fit you and a Rishboland tiger in it. The rest of the details of the room fade. Something stickier and older than fatigue works its way up through your bone marrow, leaving your body as a yawn.

Adelinde gives you a sympathetic smile when she brings you a cup of lavender and chamomile tea. 

The world is blurry when you crash into the pillows. They smell like the herbal detergent you suckered Crepus into buying during your teen years. Diluc liked it. Whatever potential revulsion you could have has wilted with your exhaustion. Instead, something warm brews in you. You shove your nose into the silken case. The feeling is good. You don’t mind it. 

(Fuck, maybe you even need it.)  

...

You sleep for three days. 

You don’t mean to, and it’s not continuous. You rise for your promised sweet bread, tea, and a much-need, thorough bath. You’ve spent the past few months using communal bath houses or washing in rivers and lakes, quick and rarely relaxing. You indulge in the massive, stone tub for a private soak that leaves you pruney and smelling like rose oil and Natlani bright grass. 

The position of the sun feels arbitrary. You just sleep. Like the fucking dead. No dreams, thank the gods. Thick curtains keep your room dark and you relish every moment. You hadn’t realized how deeply fatigue had woven itself into you. You’d become so acclimated to exhaustion, it only hit you when you finally had a (safe and) quiet place to sleep with no end date. 

Adelinde brings an armful of clothes at some point. (“We put these in storage, when you left. I’m sure some still fit.”) Some do, thankfully, and you’re grateful to have more than four garments, especially when they go together. It’s nostalgic to slip into skirts and trousers you haven’t worn in so long, and you decide they’ll suffice. Unideal, but comfortable. 

The tiredness is an odd blessing. You feel too blurry and foggy to really pick apart your feelings. All of them. You’re aware of the knot that’s formed somewhere between your ribs and gut (or rather, revealed itself), and you ignore it for as long as you are able to. No one comes to you except Adelinde, who never presses you. 

(You don’t know what you would do if she did. Adelinde knows discretion, she knows wounds and scrapes and bruises, and knew yours once. Well and thoroughly. You think she can see all of your ills now too.)

(You’re glad she doesn't pry at you. In your moments between wakefulness and sleep, you tend to dream more loosely. You imagine what you might say to Diluc, had you... the opportunity without damage. What would you say to him? The you that’s mostly a dream screams at him sometimes. Enraged. Sometimes you cry, asking questions that neither your sleeping or waking mind has answers for. They’re not... unfamiliar dreams, but they’re unwelcome. They’re more vivid now that you’re staying in the Winery.)

They feel more real. Diluc is only rooms away at any given time.

(He’s not a specter.)

On the third day, you awake midday to a frantic knock on your door. Adelinde, you assume. Stumbling from bed, and pull on a dressing gown and nothing more, and pull open the heavy oak door—

It’s Diluc. Of course it is. In working trousers and a loose, white top. Dirt stains his knees and the tips of his fingers. Pretty red hair spills from its loose tie, bouncy with a fresh wash. He tenses, when he sees you. Fists balling at his sides and shoulders going rigid.

Your jaw locks and the air in your lungs suddenly feels heavy and too hot. Your throat bobs with a swallow, and you gather up the satin of your robe before it has a chance to slip down to the crook of your elbow. 

(Just seeing him sends you. Into a rage. Into a fit of grief. The visage of him forces you to reckon with something more awful and sticky and molten than you know what to do with.)

(You wish it was more avoidable.)

You freeze.

Your several days of rest afforded you the time to... ignore Diluc. Hide from him, and the knot that you desperately don’t want to unravel. Despite sleeping in one of his beds and eating his food, you need distance. It feels like you’ll explode if you don’t have it.

“The child of one of the vineyard workers is injured,” Diluc says, maybe a little out of breath. “Can you take a look?”

“Of course,” you reply without hesitation. A hurt child takes precedence over most things.

The child and his mother sit in Diluc’s foyer, you can hear them as you approach. The girl sniffles and clings to her mothers sleeve with one hand, the other limp in her lap. One of her legs splays the wrong way, equally limp. 

You approach easily, introducing yourself. The air has an edge of crisis to it, but you wade through it easily. If anything, it’s comfortingly familiar. To be calm and confident in the face of serious injury or illness is often medicine in and of itself. 

You set your large, leather-bound caboodle beside you and take to the floor. Your Tselostnyy insignia is pinned to the outside. The mother’s eyes dart to it as she pets over her daughter’s hair, and she relaxes at the sight of it. A qualified stranger, you are.

The mother is younger, someone before your time as the Winery’s temporary master which is a relief. Diluc lingers behind you, watching you work, probably.  You attempt not to care.

You scooch forward, on your knees, knitting your fingers together and hover them over your patient. You focus on the spiral of dendro through muscle and bone, reading the injury:

Two clean breaks. Closed fracture of the left ulna. Closed fracture of the left femur.

It’s a miracle that the child isn’t shrieking in her mother’s lap. 

“How did you get hurt?” you ask the child directly. 

She sniffles. “I f-fell outta’ the big tree by the water. I was trying to climb it.”

Her mother almost scolds her, but you beat her to speaking. “That’s a hard tree to climb. The oaks by the stables are much easier.”

It’s just a slip of the tongue, to be so familiar.

You turn to the child and school a smile on your lips. “I’ll be able to heal your injuries with my Vision. You’ll get some medicine as well, and it needs to be stirred into juice. Do you have a favorite kind?”

The child looks unsure, and her mother answers for her: “She likes apple best.”

“Apple, master of the house.” You wave a hand behind you. “Can you fetch some?”

“Of course,” Diluc answers without missing a beat and you hasten him away.

Knitting your fingers together once more, you begin to work on her injuries. The child is holding up quite well, despite the immense pain she must be in. You work quickly regardless, but keep in mind you do have the luxury of time. There’s no one more broken or more sick just beyond her who needs to be treated as well.

Dendro sews together her bones. Encourages new flesh and muscle to grow where it is needed. 

When Diluc returns, you instruct him further, gaze never straying from the knitting bones, “Take the third vial from the right on the top row of oils, will you? Stir half a dropper into the juice and stir for a minute. If you see oil on the top, keep going.”

“What’s the medicine for?” The girl asks. 

“Relaxation and sleep,” You reply softly. “This type of healing is very effective, but it takes a lot of energy out of the person who is being healed. You’ll be tired once I’m all done, but you may have trouble resting since your body is still reacting to the shock of your injuries.”

The mother lets out a sigh of relief. Perhaps too wordy of an explanation for a child, but her mother seems grateful for it. 

When the child’s healed into proper pieces again, you unknit your fingers and fall back on your heels. Diluc wordlessly passes the goblet of well-mixed apple juice to the child, who shakily gulps it town. The medicine doesn’t have much of a taste, more of an oily texture to it that requires it to be drunk quickly after being mixed. The juice must be from one of Diluc’s best stashes because the child beams after chugging it.

“... That’s it?” She asks. 

You nod and crack your knuckles, now stiff. “That’s it.”

“... Nothing else?” 

“Nope.” You crack your neck. “Other than the fatigue, but a few extra hours of sleep should remedy that. She’ll be back to normal after a nap.”

“Thank you,” The mother says and your chest feels sticky and warm. “I know that Barbara from the Church has similar skills with her Vision, but I’ve never seen healing like yours. Mondstadt could use a physician like you, you know.”

The feeling goes cold, but you keep your smile. Bear it.

“I’m sure they do.” Teacher’s shoes hadn’t been filled, apparently. And you’d departed to the Tselostnyy School and never returned. 

The mother and her child give more thanks before leaving and you keep your facade up until they’re out the door. The girl’s no doubt ruffled still, even with the light sedative. The mother frazzled. The last thing you’d want to do is burden them with your own misplaced ire. They can’t know. They wouldn’t know.

Diluc, however—

He’s been the silent spectator to this whole affair. He idles by the couches and the hearth, arms crossed, still-dirtied from whatever vineyard work he’d been doing prior to fetching you. You’re sure he was working in the fields, heard the child shriek, and rushed to their aid. Typical.

Diluc stares at you like he could immolate you alive.

“You’re incredible.” He says it like it’s the simplest thing in the world. Like the sentence doesn’t implode something in you. 

Your fists shake at your sides. “Hardly. It’s just my profession.”

Diluc works his jaw and considers his words. You note the way he looks stumped and lost. It’s not intentional, if you’re being honest— so there’s no harm in enjoying the way he stumbles to speak around you, is there?

(It’s only fair. Diluc had always been so sure-footed and sturdy with his words. To see him flounder now reminds you that he’s changed too. Something in him has paled and been mutilated, just like you. Two wounded. His suffering isn’t what you revel in, but the knowledge that he’s affected. Neither of you came out unscathed and you’ve spent the last years refusing to imagine how Diluc might’ve coped.)

“Will you have tea with me?” Diluc asks, the words ringing off the glass chandelier in minor key. “You don’t have to if you don’t want—”

“I will.” 

...

Adelinde kindly brings you both tea, by the hearth and its embers. It’s served with a few small cakes and rounds of steaming sweet bread. Diluc takes his tea just as he did when he was young— a heavy dash of cream and a spoon and a half of sugar (“the half is very important” he had always said). Adeline leaves you a carafe of coffee and shoots you a gentle smile before leaving the two of you be.

You rest on one of the couches, leg pulled up beneath you and blow over the rim of your mug.

Diluc sits adjacent from you, in a resplendent mid-morning sun beam. The chair is high-backed, upholstered with the red and gold pattern of the Ragnvindr clan. He looks regal, like a king from the stories you used to read together. Sunlight halos the frizz in his hair and the dust that shifts around him.

He sits with one heel propped up on the opposite knee, cupping the tea cup from the bottom, unbothered by its heat.

(He’s pretty, just as beautiful as you remember. Maybe more so.)

It makes something in you feel rotten. You pick at your nails and curl over your core. 

He glances at you and you look away into the hearth, into the small flames that eat at the last of a birch log. 

Having Diluc in front of you is uncomfortable. Maybe worse than uncomfortable, as discomfort is bearable and the sensation crawling up from the back of your throat isn’t. It makes your skin itch and feel too tight. Your palms sweat. Maybe you want to puke.

(It’s dread, or something like it. Like just seeing him put you on a precipice you had convinced yourself didn’t exist.)

“When did you start drinking coffee?” Diluc asks, breaking you from your spiral. “If I recall correctly, you hated it. Too bitter for your palate, or something like that.”

Ah—

“In your absence. In the year I stayed here, when you left.” It’s the truth. “ Lots of paperwork. I got used to the flavor after a while.”

(You used to prefer tea, favoring some black variety that Crepus painstakingly imported from Natlan’s volcanic cliffs. The first time you tried to drink it following his passing, you retched it back into your cup.)

You both shift uncomfortably. 

“I see.” 

You pretend not to notice the way Diluc’s grip goes white-knuckled for a moment. Your chest feels tight, too tight, and you squirm under your skin. 

“I don’t know how to face you,” you blurt out. 

(You never thought you would have to.) 

Diluc looks away from you, into the fire. “If you don’t wish to ‘face me’, then you don’t have to.”

“Are you suggesting I simply ignore you?”

“If that’s what you would wish to do.”

“That’s not what I asked.” You frown, something burning between your ribs. 

Diluc chews on his words for a moment. “Allow me to clarify. I have no expectations of you while you’re staying within the Winery.”

“So, if I simply ate your food and slept in one of your beds, ignoring you, you’d be alright with that?”

“If that’s what you wish, then yes.”

(The answer hurts to hear. You refuse to think about why.)

“Alright.” You take a long sip of your coffee. You’re not sure when your stomach began to ache.

“You’re unsatisfied with that answer,” Diluc guesses.

“Entirely,” you reply. “You’re basing your wants off of mine. It’s bothersome.”

“It’s the truth. As I said—“

“You ‘have no expectations of me’,” you parrot. “Would you truly be satisfied if I didn’t speak to you at all while I’m here?”

Diluc chews the inside of his cheek (a new habit you don’t recognize). “My satisfaction isn’t of consequence.”

“Idiot,” You snap— you don’t mean to. “Of course it is. I don’t want to make this any more unbearable than it already is.”

“Do you think this is unbearable for me?” 

“… Yes?” You feel yourself shaking. “Maybe? I don’t know.”

(It’s worse than unbearable. The feeling in your chest is blooming, radiating out into your arms and legs, down to your hands. There’s a buzzing in the base of your skull.)

“I understand that it’s difficult for you to be here,” Diluc grits out. “I do not want to make that any worse by some expectation or assumption you think that I carry. If you wish to enjoy the festival and ignore me, that’s more than fine. If it would be easier for you to stay here and think of me as only some type of… concierge, I wouldn’t resent you for it.”

(You hate it. You hate him. You hate Diluc Ragnvindr endlessly, perhaps. You want to burn Dawn Winery to the ground.)

“Do you really think I could ever think of you as anything other than yourself?” You spit, intending to. “It’s insulting— a fucking affront to think that I could view you in such a way.”

“I don’t know how you view me.” Diluc’s voice wavers with what you can only assume to be anger. “I’m trying to make this easier for you.”

“In what way?!” You stand. “Do you think ignoring you would be easier for me?”

“I am making a well-intended inference based on the fact that you haven’t returned to Mondstadt for years.” Diluc stares at you like he wants to— “I am assuming you’d like to continue to ignore me, given that you’ve never given any indication otherwise.”

“… You’re the one who left first.” You spit the words, like how a sword cuts through air. “You’re the one who left and gave no ‘ indication’ of returning.”

Diluc swallows, thick and hard with a bob of his throat and he rises to his feet. You instinctively take a step back. He opens his mouth, then closes it with a snap of his teeth. The fire cracks and a log loses its structure, tumbling in the hearth with a flurry of embers.

He looks lost for words. You let loose a laugh, something awful and torn that you wish you could stuff back down your throat.

“Nothing to say?”

“It was a long time ago—“

“Ah, it’s irrelevant to you. I see.” Archons, you don’t want this. You should’ve never come back. It can’t be worth it, can it? It feels like your ribs are being broken, one by one. 

(How wretched it is, for him to have such a power over you.)

“Don’t twist my words.” Diluc rises, taking a step toward you. “I only meant to say—“

“I am well-aware of what you meant to say.” You want to vomit, maybe. “It was so long ago, so it’s easier, right? If I view you as nothing more than a doorman with a familiar face, and if you view me as a guest to be treated with pleasantries.”

(Let’s forget all the history. Etch a lie onto a slate that’s already been shattered beyond repair.)

Diluc’s expression twists. Your hands shake and you cross them over yourself, wrapping your arms over your own shoulders and squeezing. He looks… hurt. Gutted. 

“Do you think me cruel enough to ever think of you in such a way?”

“Yes, actually.” You laugh with a shake of your head. “Not even a letter, Diluc? Couldn’t even spare me a thought, could you?”

(Meanwhile, you clung to the hope that he’d arrive home through the front door of the Winery for months. How many did you sit in front of this very same hearth, wrapped in his old blankets and left-behind clothes and pray to any God who’d listen that Diluc would return?)

The admission guts Diluc. You can see it in his face, the way his expression tears open and he balls his fist and he almost seems to shake with it.

(Despite everything, it hurts to see him hurt.)

You step away, almost toppling into the couch. Diluc catches you by the arm with a lurch and keeps you upright. The contact burns like you’re too close to a roaring fire. You feel singed. 

“I can’t forget, Diluc.” You laugh, shudder in his grip and you feel the bits of you fray even further. “I— I don’t know. I’m sorry. I resent you. I hate you. I look at you and I’m struck by the feeling that I’m looking at a ghost.”

You watch Diluc’s jaw lock. “Pot, kettle.”

“Pardon?”

“You left Mond as well, dear.” Diluc says the pet name and then flushes. An old habit, unearthed by sparring. You maybe would swoon if you weren’t feeling light-headed. “You’re a ghost to me as well. Maybe something worse.”

“... Am I? ” you spit, writhing in your skin. 

His expression tightens and you see the hurt. A crack. His lip twitches and he stands. He has to look down at you and you feel the height. 

“Do you think I haven’t been haunted by you?”

Oh, it’s like being punched in the gut. You’re being flayed, surely, on his great room floor. If you’re not careful, your entrails will spill and you’ll die here. You’re sure. 

“Don’t lie to me.” 

“You’re impossible,” Diluc says, grip almost bruising. “Do you truly think I’m lying?”

(You don’t.)

You swallow and step away from him. The moment you pull against him, Diluc lets you go, and you stumble back. 

(You’re too frayed for this. Burnt. Cinders at a masquerade.)

“I need some time,” you say, fire in your voice is gone. You burn down so easily. “I’m sorry.”

Diluc stays silent for a moment. You can’t be sure what he’s thinking.

“Take all the time you need,” he says, before striding past you to his office. You hear the door nearly slam. 

[screenviolense]

current relation/ship tags (alphabetized kinda)

✦ ALBERT & AMELIA        *    me and mrs. jones we got a thing going on

✦ ANAIS & MAHANON        *    you and i are not the polite people who live in poems

✦ ANN & RYUJI        *    and why mess up a good thing baby?

✦ ANN & REN        *    change me at all cost; starlight and star crossed

✦ ANYA & ANDI        *    i walked with you once upon a dream

✦ ANYA & CLAUDE        *    are you thinking of me when you’re with somebody else?

✦ ANYA & LASLOW        *    i walked with you once upon a dream

✦ ARRI & CULLEN        *    you put your hand in mine and pulled me back from things divine

✦ AUSTIN & SPENCER        *    i never did believe in the ways of magic but i'm beginning to wonder why

✦ BARBARA & DICK        *    does it ever drive you crazy just how fast the night changes?

✦ BECKETT & CASTLE        *    stop and stare: i think i'm moving but i go nowhere

✦ BENEDICT & SOPHIE        *    in her heart she longed for this man; dreamed of a life that could never be

✦ BILLY & TRAVIS        *    i dream most every night that i never left you

✦ THE BOSS & JOHNNY        *    it's always been just him and me together

✦ CAMILA & JOSE        *    i'd suffer hell if you'd tell me what you'd do to me tonight

✦ CAROLINE & RICK        *    we’re gonna die and maybe it’s gonna be alone

✦ CASSIE & NATHAN        *    treasure hunting runs in the family

✦ CAT & VINCENT        *    do you know what loneliness does to a man?

✦ CHERCHE & GAIUS        *    every lover’s got a little dagger in their hand

✦ CHERCHE & GEROME        *    i pray you'll be my eyes and watch him where he goes

✦ CHERCHE & LON’QU        *    where does one touch a deadly swordsman who does not want to be touched?

✦ CINDY & ZIGGY        *    i won’t let anything pull us apart again

✦ ELENA & NATHAN        *    we were strangers starting out on a journey

✦ GARCIA & HOTCHNER        *    be still my bespectacled heart

✦ GARCIA & LUKE        *    maybe there was a slight chink in your fluffy armor

✦ GUSTAV & JACQUELYN        *    i’m sorry i had nothing to say that night

✦ IMPERATOR & NIHIL        *    you'll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you

✦ IVY & DIAMANT        *    he told me that i’d never fight another battle alone

✦ IVY & ALEAR        *    if i was born as a blackthorn tree i'd wanna be felled by you; held by you

✦ JEAN & DILUC        *    is this the place we used to love? is this the place that i've been dreaming of?

✦ JEAN & KAEYA        *    meet me at our spot. they can't find us there

✦ JOYCE & HOPPER        *    watchin' in slow motion as you turn my way and say take my breath away

✦ JULIET & LASSIE        *    i’ll be going to get my partner now

✦ JULIET & SHAWN        *    since i met you i've been thinking about getting a car

✦ JULES & SILAS        *    do you really see no ghosts in me at all?

✦ KATE & ANTHONY        *    you are the bane of my existence and the object of all my desires

✦ KINSEY & AARON        *    everything's growing in our garden. you don't have to know that it's haunted

✦ KINSEY & DC        *    i never did believe in miracles but i've a feeling it's time to try

✦ KINSEY & FLOYD        *    you left a note in your perfect script: stay as long as you want. and i haven't left your bed since

✦ KINSEY & JOEL        *    you can close your eyes; it’s alright

✦ KINSEY & KEITH * trouble’s always gonna find you baby; but so will i

✦ KINSEY & LUKE        *    damn i wish i was your lover

✦ KINSEY & TERZO        *    don't look too deep into those angel eyes

✦ LAURA & MAX        *    can we go home now?

✦ LAURA & TRAVIS        *    you think this is over? this isn’t over

✦ LEIA & FLOYD        *    i read the graffiti in the bathroom stall

✦ LEIA & HAN        *    captain; being held by you isn’t quite enough to get me excited

✦ LIZA & JASON        *    i hope you die. i hope we both die

✦ LOIS & CLARK        *    here i am like a kid out of school. holding hands with a god

✦ MARIAN & ANDERS        *    everything is more beautiful because we’re doomed

✦ MILLIE & JOHN        *    our whole lives have been wasted just staring across the church

✦ MILLIE & ROSAL        *    she lit a fire and now she’s in my every thought

✦ MORTIE & KEATS        *    you don't hear me saying anything crazy about their weird little relationship!

✦ MOXXI & JACK        *    but i'm already someone else's baby

✦ NANA & HAURCHEFANT        *    i would rather break the world than lose you

✦ PENNY & ALEX        *    woke up in a safe house singing let’s get married

✦ PENNY & HALEY        *    go ahead let your hair down

✦ RACHEL & CHRISSY        *    is that your ghost or are you really there?

✦ REBECCA & JEROME        *    for if i am not their shepherd then i must be the wolf

✦ ROBIN & CHROM        *    you are the wind at my back and the sword at my side

✦ ROSEMARY & JACK        *    and at least in this lifetime we're sticking together

✦ RUTHERFORD FAMILY        *    to be cut off from one’s family is its own very special sort of loneliness

✦ SARAH & DEACON        *    but i’ll walk beside you love. anywhere the wind blows

✦ SASHA & TIM        *    as if i am alive only because i remember you

✦ SASHA & JON        *    did you fall for the same empty answers again?

✦ SNOW & BIGBY        *    you are the moon that breaks the night for which i have to howl

✦ SOPHIE & HOWL        *    i know how to help you now. find me in the future

✦ TAYLOR & LESLIE        *    i knew you were the one

✦ UME & JACKIE        *    NC ain’t a city that lets you get by without buddies

✦ VELVET & TERZO        *    you're free to leave me but just don't deceive me

✦ VERONICA & TRAVIS        *    but i never lost this feeling or this pounding in my chest

✦ ZATANNA & JOHN        *    no grave can hold my body down; i’ll come home to her