#every time I realize AURORA and I have something in common my happiness grows
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I was musing about this this morning bc it sort of just hit me and it is a minor revelation about my hobbies and whatnot that I think is important or fun or whatever to share it so here goes
in university one of our teachers once said smth like "whenever I'm hiring someone I ask what shows they like and they say they don't really watch tv I don't hire them bc how can you think you know how to do this job if you don't even engage w it?" and I was like I guess that makes sense. he was talking about writing for tv and that's not what I ever wanted to do so I never really put two and two together that he would possibly be talking about the stuff that I wanted to do too, like publishing my own graphic novels, but like...I don't read a lot of comics! I really don't! if a publisher asked me what my favourite was I'd say W.I.T.C.H. bc that is true, I loved reading those growing up, but aside from that I almost never read comics!! I don't read webcomics!! I don't buy comics at the store!! does that mean I'm bad for wanting making them to be my career??
I just find making them so much more engaging than reading them. I dont rly want to read them all the time lol I love art and drawing so fucking much but I do it way more often than I take it in. I'm not saying I never read comics at all, but it is rare. they're fun to look at on occasion but the joy I feel from reading them is tiny compared to the joy I feel from making them
bringing this back to AURORA bc she endlessly inspires me, I found out at one point early on in my admiration of her that she almost never listens to music despite being crazy talented at making it bc she says it's just distracting and most music is like noise to her, and at the time I was like huh that's weird, but now?? after having this realization about myself this morning?? I never read comics!! I barely watch tv or movies!! I just love drawing and writing stories so much I rarely watch anything and according to my old teacher that would make me an unhireable person but look at AURORA. she doesn't listen to music and she's still amazing at making it.
so whenever an interviewer asks me what shows or comics or whatever I'm into I'm probably gonna have to lie for them to take me seriously bc they cant fathom that someone can be good at something unless they also read/listen/watch it a lot. idk. I've known this about AURORA for ages but it only clicked now that I actually completely understand where she's coming from. I don't with music, I listen to music all the time and write it myself as a hobby, but in regards to my actual career of drawing and making comics. I don't absolutely NEVER read comics but it is something I do extremely rarely
I just think it's nice that she's living proof that my old teacher was wrong and you can be great at a craft without constantly watching/reading/listening to other people's work. I mean maybe I'm actually bad at it and nobody's told me yet! that's true! but it does sort of make me feel better about never knowing what to say when ppl ask me what stuff I'm into, bc it feels like nowadays I never watch anything and I'm always self conscious that it makes me terrible at doing it. and since art is subjective, you can never be terrible at it. there's always gonna be people who love what you've drawn or written. so if you wanna make a career out of your craft and you almost never spend time looking at the work that other people make, that's okay!! you can still be good if you don't do that!!!!
#ramblings#every time I realize AURORA and I have something in common my happiness grows#but also this makes me happier to realize bc it's something I've been self conscious about since uni
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A Stolen Dream Ch.1
All the monsters and demons were surprised when the powerful Maleficent returned to her dark castle, cradling a tiny infant to her chest. But they didn't dare speak a word, merely watching her as she went to her room with a look of satisfaction on her face, the tiny baby squirming and fussing in her arms. Even her raven upon the dark fairy’s shoulder seemed perturbed by the sight of the child and its flailing limbs.
Maleficent laid the small baby upon the dark sheets of her bed and unwrapped the bundle. She got to work immediately with fixing the baby's leg, then clearing any blemishes and imperfections with her magic, a bit transfixed by the incredible softness of the baby’s skin. She had to make the girl perfect in every way. She then raised that baby as if it were her own, though having her minions do the hard work as she supervised. But the baby put up such a fuss when Maleficent was not around, that the dark fairy often found herself carrying the little brat around. The great fairy even allowed the baby to sleep in her bed, with Diablo watching over her. The dark fairy would watch that tiny chest rise and fall, feel the warmth of the small body next to her, and feel a stirring in her that she could not name.
Eventually, she named her Delilah.
Seven years had soon passed, and Maleficent could already tell that Delilah was going to be a great beauty, in human standards at least. Every night Maleficent took to brushing the midnight black hair that Delilah has been gifted with, adding magic to each brush stroke, to make the hair soft and silky and luxurious. Not the sunshine golden hair of Princess Aurora, but Maleficent found herself enjoying the colour, preferring it. One would think she wanted a perfect copy of the princess, but no, Maleficent wanted an opposite. She knew those little fairies had blessed the princess with beauty, but it would no doubt be the common beautiful princess; tall, slim, with curling golden hair and large, innocent blue eyes. It almost made Maleficent cackle at the thought of how often such princesses were made to look as such by magic.
"Mother." Delilah's soft voice interrupted Maleficent's thoughts and she gazed down at the small girl, meeting her dark brown eyes. She smiled down at her, but there never was any warmth in those smiles. At the sight, Delilah warmly smiled back, her small hands folded neatly into her lap. "I was wondering if I could go and make a friend."
"Oh?" That made Maleficent's brows raise, and she tilted her head ever so slightly. "Why on earth would you want a friend, child? You have my minions here. Besides, you are a princess, you have no need for friends, only the subjects you shall soon rule over."
"Oh…" Delilah's voice became soft, disappointed as her shoulders slumped. Maleficent sighed to herself at the pathetic sight, and began to braid the girl's thick hair before trying it off with a black ribbon. "I am sorry, mother, I shall not ask again. I was not thinking as a princess should."
Delilah slid down from the stool and curtsied to the dark fairy, then climbed onto the bed and curled up. It was not long before she fell asleep, her soft breathing eventually evening out. Maleficent put away the brush and box of silken ribbons, then returned her gaze to little Delilah.
"Well, perhaps a friend would not hurt. Just one…" Maleficent watched the small child, before turning to where Diablo was perched. She caught the look in his eyes and sneered. "I am not going soft on her. She is just a tool to ruin that foolish king for insulting me. I'll send her to the little prince of that fooling king Hubert. He and Aurora are engaged, are they not? Surely the fairies will try to keep the king happy by getting the little princess to fall in love with the prince."
Diablo rustled his feathers ever so slightly, then tilted his head, as if urging her to continue.
"I can carefully groom him into falling in love with her. She'll be the thing he cannot have, so different from the innocent, angelic Princess Aurora. It can work, I know it will. Humans are so easy to fool." Maleficent hissed, grasping her cane tightly in her hand. She slid her fingertips along the jewel at the top and suddenly a scene appeared. The young Prince Philip sitting in his bedroom fit for a Crown Prince, staring out his window in utter boredom into the dark woods that lay just beyond the town below.
"What troubles you, your Highness?" A servant entered the room, carrying a tray of rich foods for the young prince, being made to eat in his room while a drunken party of debauchery went on in the dining hall below. The prince sighed and shook his head, continuing to stare out the window, his mind lost in whatever thoughts they were struggling with. "Well, at least you are going hunting with the king tomorrow. Maybe you will get a deer."
The ten year old prince turned, crossing his arms, his expression cloudy.
"I do not wish to hunt with the noblemen's sons. They only wish to be with me because I am a prince." Philip muttered bitterly, gazing around the room fit for a prince with a bed full of silk sheets, clothes of the highest caliber, anything any child could ever want. "They pretend to like everything I like, then go about talking behind my back."
The servant said nothing, not quite sure how to reply to the Prince's words. From his experience, most royalty enjoyed being surrounded by people who agreed with everything they did. Perhaps the young prince would be more perceptive than his father, the servant hoped.
Maleficent chuckled ever so softly, taking a seat on the edge of her bed as she watched the scene. As she watched, her hand absentmindedly went to stroke Delilah’s hair. A prince tired of his riches and his title, Maleficent had seen this time and time again, it was a fun little trope. Suddenly, an idea hit and she turned her gaze down to the sleeping Delilah and grinned a grin that made even Diablo shiver.
...
The hunting party made their way through the forest, keeping their eyes peeled for any possible prizes as they rode atop their noble horses. Prince Philip maintained a look of indifference as he rode amongst the noblemen’s sons, listening to them babble worse than the gossipy women in the palace.
“Your highness, that bow is of the finest craftsmanship, where on Earth did you obtain it?” One of the boys piped up, Roland if Philip could remember by the sight of the boy’s signature red curls and green eyes that glinted with envy and greed as he eyed the prince’s bow.
“It was a gift from King Stefan-” Philip began, but Roland’s eyes widened in shock and he began to laugh.
“Isn’t that the king with the cursed daughter who is fated to die?” Roland asked, the words a bit messy from his laughter, the other boys around them joining him in the laughter, while Philip scowled. “What kind of idiot invites the entire kingdom to a christening, even the disgusting commoners, yet does not invite the most powerful being in the realm?”
“And the Prince here has to marry her, yet she’s been hidden away. I bet they hid her away because she is so ugly and stupid.” Another boy jeered, and Philip felt his spine go stiff.
“You dare to insult my future father in law and my future wife?” Philip’s tone went steely, so much so that the laughter immediately died down and many of the boys exchanged nervous glances. “I highly suggest you hold your tongues, before I find you disfavorable.”
“Forgive me, your highness, I forgot myself.” Roland bowed his head, so that Philip missed the look of unadulterated hatred on the boy’s face. “I will think before I speak next time.”
Philip merely urged his horse forward, catching up with his father and the hunting party. Someone cried out when a blur of white darted by, then many gaped in awe when they saw it was a buck with pure white fur. King Hubert gave a sharp whistle and the dogs ran after the beast as it darted off.
The hunting party gave chase, but paused when they realized that the buck had disappeared.
“We should split up to find it.” One of the duke’s piped up, and the rest of the party agreed, many grouping off and heading in different directions. Philip took the time to slip off on his own when he saw the young sons arguing about who he would be hunting with.
The prince rode for quite some time, before seeing a flash of white up ahead. He urged his horse and raced after the buck, heading deeper and deeper into the dark woods. He quickly lost sight of the beast and looked around, realizing he had gotten himself quite lost, entering a small clearing with a sizable river in its center. He cursed softly under his breath, then slid off of his horse, taking in his surroundings.
It was then the buck burst out from the bushes right in front of him. Philip stumbled back a few steps, then found himself falling backwards, right into the icy cold river. As he was engulfed in the water, the young prince struggled against the strong current, but soon found himself growing weak, his heavy clothes beginning to weigh him down. But then something grabbed his arms and he was pulled from the freezing water.
Laid out on his back, gasping for air, Philip looked over at his saviour, only to be surprised at the sight of a small girl kneeling at his side, dark, dripping hair hiding away most of her face save her downturned mouth.
“W-what..?” He whispered, but then bolted up when the little girl turned on her heel and ran into the forest, disappearing rapidly from sight. The prince sat there, dumbfounded and shivering. He only snapped out of his stupor as he heard the approaching of hooves, his father and his knights bursting from the brush.
“Phillip! Phillip, my boy, what has happened? Why, you are sopping wet!” The king cried out as knights rushed forward, helping the young prince stand. Philip shook his head in disbelief and stared in the direction the little girl had taken off to.
…
Maleficent smiled to herself as she watched the hunting party ride off with the wet prince, her hand absently stroking the head of the young girl at her side.
“You did very well, my dear, very well indeed. I can see already that you have made quite the impression on the young prince.” She mused as she leaned down to scoop the young girl into her arms, holding her close. “You did satisfactory work.”
“I am sorry, mother, I could not get the sense to speak to him. It felt as if my tongue had been turned to stone and I was worried my heart was going to burst. He almost drowned, it was rather frightening.”
“Fret not, I believe you shall have the chance to talk to the prince still. No doubt that that little swim in the river will leave him quite fatigued, perhaps a bit ill. The poor prince will be bedridden, I am sure that you can keep his company.” The dark fairy chuckled softly as she gave Delilah a little pat on the cheek, before her expression turned serious. “You must gain his trust, Delilah. He is to be your betrothed in the future, when you make your rightful claim as a princess.”
“Really? Oh mother, that would be wonderful! He seems to have such kind eyes, mother, and I bet he shall grow to be very handsome.” Delilah’s face lit up with pure joy, the girl already lost in the daydreams of becoming a princess and marrying a handsome prince, of receiving a happily ever after.
“Delilah listen closely,” Maleficent grabbed the young girl by the chin and made her look into her eyes. “, do not believe in such fairytales. You must focus on being a proper princess, of ruling an entire kingdom and becoming queen. Do not let your mind wander up to the clouds and allow yourself to be deluded by such nonsense. You shall never utter anything of such filth ever again, do you understand me?”
“...” Delilah lowered her gaze, but slowly nodded her head. “Yes mother.”
…
Phillip glared out the window of his bedroom, bundled up in the thick blankets the servants had covered him with. After he had been brought back to the castle and fussed over by several physicians, the young prince had been forced to stay in bed while everyone else enjoyed a banquet downstairs. He felt rather bittered to be missing out on such a festive occasion, but it did save him from having to converse with the sons of those noblemen.
“I did not wish to eat deer anyhow, I must prefer rabbit.” He grumbled, crossing his arms as he watched the sun just beginning to set. But he sat up abruptly as he saw a pair of small hands appear over the rail of his balcony, then remained seated in stunned silence as the little girl from earlier boosted herself up and over the railing, landing on the stone with a soft thud.
The prince watched as the small girl brushed back her wild mane of black hair, revealing an almost cherubic face with large brown eyes. She smoothed down the skirt of her simple grey dress before turning towards the bedroom, only to freeze at the sight of him watching her.
“How.. How did you manage to climb all the way up here?” Phillip was on his feet in seconds, rushing over to the girl as she stumbled a few steps back and pressed up against the railing.
“O-oh, I climbed using the ivy. It is rather thick..” Delilah felt her tongue go heavy once again. The young prince had changed from his royal regalia to a simple tunic and breeches, his hair slightly mussed, looking less like a royal prince and more like a common village boy. But he could never shake off that royal aura he had about him, something that had Delilah curtsying just as her mother had taught her. “I beg pardon, your highness, but I wished to see if you were alright. You took such a nasty tumble into the river, I was afraid for your health.”
“So it was you that saved me.. Why did you not stay? I owe you my life, allow me and my father to repay you for your bravery!” Phillip reached out and grasped the young girl’s hands, trying hard not to think of how much more tiny she was compared to him. She was almost two heads taller than him.
“No!” Delilah blurted out, causing the prince to flinch as if struck. Panic instantly flooded her veins and she grasped his hands back, tugging him closer. Mother would be very cross if she were to be discovered by anyone else in the castle. “I mean, please your highness I need to reward. I am just thankful that you are safe and sound home. I am but a simple peasant girl, I could not possibly be rewarded. Besides.. Other nobles, they.. They are not as kind to me as you are. I would just rather hear your thanks alone.”
Phillip stared at the girl, mulling over all she had just said, before finally giving her a firm nod. His lips quirked when he heard her stomach growl.
“Very well. May I at least give you some food? I would not be a very good prince if I did not at least feed one of my most loyal subjects.” The prince bowed and went towards the cord that would summon a servant to his room.
Meanwhile, Maleficent watched the entire scene from her staff, a slow smile spreading across her face as she stroked Diablo’s soft feathers.
“Did I not tell you, my pet? This girl shall be a better asset for me in the end.”
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Discord Thread | Berora
FT. Aurora & Beth ( @bethanyrob94 )
DATE: August 23rd, 2020
SUMMARY: Aurora comes over to Beth’s place to have a serious talk with her. She confesses that she has feelings for her and asks if they want to make things official. Rora receives an answer she isn’t expecting and feels like her heart got ripped out of her chest.
TRIGGERS: mentions of bipolar disorder, mental illness, and PAIN
It was pretty obvious at the point that Beth really, really liked Aurora. She wanted to date her. God, she wanted to date her so bad. But she was so terrified of relationships at this point. She just had so many thoughts going through her bad and such a negative experience with her last relationship she never really thought she’d be ready for one...ever. At least not right now. Beth was freshly showered after work and had her favorite pair of comfy Lulu Lemons on. Her and Aurora were sat across from each other on Beth’s couch. She liked having Aurora’s company, especially since Ellie moved out. Her tiny apartment had been more lonely than ever lately. Aurora always brightened her day. “I completely agree....I mean I could pick apart the symbolism in that book all day.” She mused, dipping a California roll in soy sauce and tossing it in her mouth with the chop sticks. “Have you practiced using chopsticks since I taught you?” She chuckled.
Each and every time that Aurora and Beth would hang out, they only seemed to get closer and overall more comfortable with one another. The other had asked if she wanted to spend her evening with her and she said yes without any hesitation. Sitting on her couch, she ate the takeout they had ordered and she was enjoying this time with her. “You know, I actually have! Here let me show you and you can tell me if I’ve improved at all,” she let out a chuckle as she grabbed for her chopsticks and went to grab another piece of sushi.
“hey there you go!” She exclaimed with a laugh. That was so endearing and overall just really fucking cute. Beth actually taught her something, and aurora cared enough to practice it. Beth was probably overthinking the fact aurora bothered to learn that because Beth was the one that taught her. “Impressive.” She joked, looking over at the blonde and smiling when their eyes met.
"See, I'm getting there," she pointed out, finishing the roll and swallowing it. God, sushi had became one of her favorite things to order for take out. It was light and she was about to mix and match the different kinds of rolls she might want to try out. It was nice that Beth also had such a strong liking to sushi, the two had so much in common. "Thank you, thank you. How has your week been by the way?" she asked her.
Beth looked down at her food when her crush asked her how her week was. "Fine." She began. "Honestly, good. Like...New York has been so good to me. I haven't been this happy in a while. I'm close with my sister, I'm going to be an aunt soon, I have a really good job, and..." She paused and looked up at the blonde. "I obviously really like spending time with you." She said shyly. She gave her a quick smile then looked back down at her food because now she was blushing. Dammit.
”I’m so happy that things are going well for you, Beth. You deserve it and deserve to be happy,” she replied with a nod of her head. Beth was something she had gotten close to in a rather short amount of time but somebody she already cared so deeply for. “That feeling is mutual, but I think you already know that,” she gushed out. Aurora, just ask her already she thought to herself. Just do it. Of course she knew she enjoyed being around her, no shit.
Beth flushed. Hearing Rora saw all of those amazing things about her - like how she deserved to be happy and the blonde liked spending time with her. It just made her heart flutter. Beth reached out to grab her hand and squeezed it lightly. Bethany leaned in to give Aurora a soft, yet passionate kiss. She brought her free hand up to cup the back of her neck and pull her in closer. She pulled away after a moment. "Sorry." She mumbled. "You just looked so damn cute I couldn't help it." She mused.
Aurora hadn't been expecting Beth to kiss her with that much passion, but it was a sweet surprise. The blonde accepted the embrace, closing her eyes just for a moment to enjoy it. "Oh god, don't say sorry to me," she let out a giggle. "You're a good kisser and I think I'll always appreciate that."
Her look of embarrassment turned to one of joy when she told her that she was a good kisser. Bethany giggled along with her for a brief moment until a flip switched. "Yeah?" She said, a tiny smirk growing on her face. "I could kiss you again, if you wanted." She said with big, pleading, brown eyes.
"You know what?" Aurora raised a brow, a playful smirk forming on her lips. She was liking where this was headed. "I wouldn't be opposed to that, at all," she added on, drawing closer to her once more. The blonde tucked a piece of the other hair behind her ear, looking into Beth's eyes.
Beth blinked several times when her brown eyes met the younger’s blues. She smiled, trying to keep herself from blushing a rosy shade of pink. She bit down on her bottom lip before placing another kiss on the other woman’s lips, this tone with more passion. Her hand found the woman’s waist to bring her in a little closer.
Aurora let Beth deepen the kiss, feeling her arms wrap around her waist as she pulled her in closer. She was about to get lost in the moment when she realized she hadn’t gone over to her place to make out. As much as she just wanted to do that, her actual goal was to have an honest chat with her. Do the thing she’s been putting off for so long. Pulling away, she smiled at Beth. “I’ve, uh, been meaning to ask you something...,” she muttered out.
God, this was really what Beth was dreading. She knew this was coming soon, and she knew exactly what this question was going to be. And yes, she wanted to be auroras girlfriend so fucking bad. She was just perfect for Bethany. Literally everything the brunette could ever want in a partner. The Canadian pulled away and cleared her throat as she sat back. “Yeah?” She asked, hesitantly.
Aurora took a deep breath. She had been waiting for what seemed like a million years to ask this, even though the two of them had only known one another for a few months. The blonde knew that she just needed to rip the bandage off and fucking ask her, so that is what she was going to do. “Look, I really like you. Like, so much. I was wondering if you maybe....wanted things to become official between us?” She asked. God, it was now out there in the open.
Beth actually blushed when the blonde asked her that question, even though she knew it was coming. She was still taken so off guard. She just didn’t expect herself to feel this way; so excited, so full. Things felt so right with Aurora. More right than any relationship she’d ever been in. Say yes, Beth. Smiling, the physical therapist opened her mouth to speak. “Y — um...” Her smiled suddenly faded. “I mean...” She hesitated as he’d heart fell into her stomach and she felt like she was going to vomit. “I don’t think I’d be a good girlfriend. Like...I’m still having a hard time...my ex...he...” she couldn’t form a complete sentence and her anxiety was getting the best of her.
Aurora was only expecting Beth to be hesitant when asked such a huge question. She had opened up to her about some of her past relationships and how she was still trying to heal from them. The last thing she wanted to do was pressure the other to do something she wasn’t ready for. Yet, she felt her heart dropping to her as Beth started to talk. “Um,” she stuttered a bit. “Are you not ready?” She asked.
Beth’s heart literally fell into her stomach. She really fucking liked Aurora, and genuinely didn’t want anyone else. They were cut from the same stone and Beth felt like she could understand Aurora without her even having to speak. There was never a time where she was around the younger when she wasn’t smiling. Until now at least.”Rora...” She began, putting her feet on the floor and facing forward. She hunger her head. “I really like you. But my ex fucked me up so bad.” She admitted, blinking several times. She took a deep breathe. “And I haven’t told you this, but I have bipolar disorder. And i really struggle with it. And i have anxiety and depression which I’m sure you could’ve guessed by now.” She rarely told anyone this information. There was really only one other person in Kingsboro that new that about her, and it was Ellie. “I’d be a really awful girlfriend. And I know I’ve opened up to you a lot. And I trust you. But I don’t know when I’ll be ready for a relationship. I’m just...he honestly traumatized the fuck out of me and I don’t think I’ll be able to be a good girlfriend.” She admitted, finally looking over at the teacher.
This conversation sure wasn't getting easier. While Aurora was appreciating Bethany's honesty, it still hurt getting a response like this. Ava, Alison, and anybody else in her life that she had spoken to about her potential relationship with the other girl had reassured her that everything would be fine. That only an idiot would say no to someone like her. Yet there she was, in the midst of being rejected. Feeling her throat close up, it was almost like she couldn't speak. "I," she muttered out. "I....should probably go," she shook her head, trying her hardest not to cry. God, this was so hard.
Beth just wanted to curl up in a hole and stay there forever. Dark, alone and where no one could ever find her. She was on the verge of fucking tears as Aurora got up to leave her apartment. She brought her legs into her chest and held the tightly, laying her forehead between her knees. She took a deep breath. “Okay. I’m sorry.” She her voice was muffled because she couldn’t look up. She’d cry if she did. She was so mad. SO mad. Her ex had really fucked yo her chances of ever being happy again. She wasn’t going to stop Aurora from leaving. She knew if she stayed things would only get worse. “I’m really sorry.” She repeated. She felt like she had completely lead the younger on; told her how much she liked her, liked being around and loved kissing her. What a tease, Beth. She probably hates you now.
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Who We Are Chapter 10 - Iliad and Odyssey
summery: a hundred years ago earth was destroyed by nuclear warfare. those who could escape did, and those who couldn’t we’re thought to have been burned with the rest of earth. those who escaped primfaya traveled to space, living to tell stories of what earth once was to generations that hoped to see it’s beauty one day. nearly three generations later it’s time. oxygen is running low and life support can’t be fixed. a hundred teenagers are sent to the ground, but is it every really that simple?
Pairings: Olivia Kane x Bellamy Blake
Words: 2.5k
Warnings: hallucinations, mentions of blood, mentions of death, mentions of guns and gun violence, bellivia fluff !
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When Olivia finally managed to pull herself up off the floor, her mind was immediately brought to Bellamy Blake and the fate of his situation. Her mind was working fast to compensate for a reasoning beside what had just occurred, yet the only somewhat bearable explanation Olivia could fathom was that the beans she'd eaten were mutilated with hallucinogenic properties. Earth skills had been very vague when addressing which foods were edible on earth, and Olivia was beginning to despise that irony.
Grabbing the bag of necessities from the floor, Olivia darted up the stairs with itching desperation to confirm that Bellamy was both alive and alright. The very opposite of Micheal Hayes. Olivia's body was visibly trembling as she exited the military base, shoulders barely stable enough to support the lightweight duffle bag of med-kits and blankets. Selfishly, Olivia had already shoved aside three of the softest for her, Octavia and Raven.
Olivia didn't call out for Bellamy in fear of alerting hostile grounders of her presence, so instead she crept through the trees and bushes with hesitation clear across her features. Olivia analyzed hundreds of possibilities within her mind, however she hadn't expected to see Bellamy laid out across a tree, beaten and bloodied with a lifeless body only a few inches from his feet. His chest heaved up and down heavily, his horror etched visibly across his pale complexion.
"Bellamy!" Olivia gasped in pure panic, her feet moving despite the desperate ache to curl up in a ball and just collapse. The world had been against her for so long, she figured it was her time to surrender. Her day had been filled with nothing but soft spoken confrontational battles, and her injures had just been pronounced terminal. "Are you alright, Bell?"
Bellamy broke down into a quiet sob of bleeding pain. The sharp intakes of breath he begged for broke Olivia's heart in two. His pain was so great and yet he put up a facade that could fool them all. She thought she knew Bellamy Blake, and yet she was so wrong. Olivia understood his motives, she could see his perspective, but she knew nothing of the tragedies that made him who he is.
"My mother," Bellamy began with aching breaths that all too closely resembled sobs, "if she knew what I've done, who I am — she raised me to be better, to be good, and all I do is hurt people. I'm a monster." Bellamy's voice trembled as he tried to remain somewhat intact before the completely shattered girl.
Olivia's breath pickup as her mind was brought back to the nightmare she'd been forced to relive just moments ago. Her own actions; attempts to do good and be better, had led her down a path of misery and grey colored grief. She'd lost apart of herself at twelve years old, a part of her that Marcus Kane missed deeply.
"Doing good and being good are two different things, Bell." Olivia whispered, her hands finding his with a desperate need to comfort the both of them simultaneously. "For what it's worth, I didn't know your mother very well, but I saw the way she looked at you, the way she talked about Octavia even. You could be the worst person in the world Bellamy, and as long as you recognized that, she would be proud. It meant you listened to something she said. That's the funny thing about parents, they don't really care about what you do, they only care that you lived and you learned."
Bellamy's hand twitched beneath Olivia's when he realized just how her hands trembled. Her face had lost off its color, her eyes somehow even dimmer then they had been when he left. Bellamy's gut coiled in guilt for not having noticed sooner, his worry immediately drawn to Olivia rather then himself.
"Are you okay?" Bellamy pondered, his voice thick with a blend of emotions that only humanized him more. His eyes were drawn to Olivia's, his thumb absentmindedly tracing circles on her hand when he felt her body flinch at the question.
"Those nuts, they must have expired. It's a common thing for hallucinogenic properties to secrete from beans and berries; especially on a radiation soaked planet." Olivia rambled shyly, her voice soft as she tried to recoil into herself. Her cheeks flushed at the attention, her hands growing clammy in Bellamy's as tears filled her eyes for the third time that day.
"What did you see?" Bellamy gently brought his hand up to cup Olivia's head, allowing her to melt into his side. He'd never vocalize his needs, but all Bellamy Blake craved was to feel like he was needed, and Olivia gave him that clarity. "Ollie, it's okay." Bellamy panicked when he noticed the way her breath drew in sharply and her eyes squeezed shut. A tear fell down her cheek, burning her skin as it fell.
Olivia's lip trembled, but she figured their was no harm in revealing even more of herself to Bellamy Blake. She had nothing to loose anymore, her will to thrive dwindling as the minutes passed. "Their was a reason why I was accepted into the cadet program nearly three years early, and it wasn't just because of my fathers position on the council."
Bellamy frowned, picking up on the fact that Olivia didn't want to talk about it any more. Olivia squirmed as her eyes landed on the dead body, her hands clenching around Bellamy's as if that would somehow provide her with comfort for not only Dax's death, but Michael's.
"Whenever your ready, you can tell me." Bellamy offered up the advice gently, hating the way his confidence crumbled whilst in the sole presence of Olivia Kane.
The girl had the ability to make even the most guarded person feel as though she could see right through them. Olivia could expose all of Bellamy's weaknesses without hesitation, he's given her enough reason to, and yet time and time again she proved that she wouldn't.
Olivia Kane would be the very reason that the remaining hundred would live long healthy lives on the ground. The hundred wouldn't be happy, but they'd at least have peace. Eventually.
——
Olivia and Bellamy had sat beneath that tree for hours, allowing the dirt to stain their palms and the breeze to wash away their guilt as best it could. The both of them overwhelmed by the memories they'd reencountered. Bellamy gripped multiple bags of guns, Olivia heaving behind him as she carried along her own necessities of med-kits and blankets. Both Bellamy and Olivia had different standards of surviving, yet they weren't opposed to the rightfulness of the other.
Olivia sighed softly as she looked up towards Bellamy, her green eyes clouded dread. Her freckles were a maze in the glistening moonlight, the pure overstimulation of recent events and injuries corrupting her ability to think with a level-head. Despite the facade Bellamy was attempting to rebuild, he bent down, softly squaring his eyes with Olivia's with hopes to connect their unspoken humanity.
"Are you ever going to calm down, Bambi?" Bellamy teased, his words meant to reassure Olivia, and they did just that, her lips twisting upwards into a small smile.
"I like it better when you call me, Ollie." She huffed. Never once had she pictured herself being comforted by Bellamy Blake and his obscene nicknames, though something about the way Bellamy uttered Ollie sounded right. "Humor me for a minute, okay?" She asked, anxiety clear in her tone despite her attempts to try and calm herself. Bellamy noticed this, smiling softly to himself before nodding, giving Olivia confirmation to ask her question.
"Any particular meaning behind Octavia?" Olivia shyly pondered, her fingertips tangling within the fraying edges of the duffles. "The only reason I asked is because my father used to read me a book about a King—"
"—A King named Augustus, and his fierce sister Octavia." Bellamy cut in with a large smile, his eyes shinning beneath the stars that had once bought them both so much misery. "My mom and I would spend our nights reading old stories, mythology mostly, Augustus was always my favorite to learn about."
Olivia frowned softly as she looked down. Despite the warmth that spread in her chest at Bellamy's revelations, her guilt became unbearable as his words struck a chord within her chest. "My dad told me all about how my mother loved Greek Mythology. She had an entire collection of stories, her favorite was the Odyssey."
Bellamy's smile fell into place with a sad smirk, his eyes drifting downwards to the guns in his hands. His mother would be horrified by what he's become, though talking about Aurora with someone other then Octavia was liberating. The darkness had reigned within him for far to long. "My mother's was the Iliad."
Olivia finally mustered up enough courage to show Bellamy the tears streaming down her face, her lip trembling for the umpteenth time that day. "My names the only true thing she ever gave to me." Olivia laughed through tears, her own gratitude for Bellamy's understanding presence immense. "She found it in some stupid baby book, but she though it sounded like Olympus."
"It's beautiful." Bellamy offered a genuine smile, nudging his shoulder against Olivia's before he stood tall, the makeshift walls of the camp not far from sight. "Alright, suck it up, Bambi. We've got delinquents to arm."
Olivia rolled her eyes at Bellamy's heavy handed assertion of dominance. His love for order stemmed from an unruly upbringing, one that still haunted him despite the arrogant smirks and mindless gunfires. Bellamy Blake wasn't half the man he portrayed himself as, rather a man who had been broken one to many times. Olivia enjoyed being one of the few people that knew that, finding it even more heartwarming.
"Let the grounders come!" Bellamy announced arrogantly, laying the guns at his feet. Kids crowded around him, naturally drawn to his authoritative presence, though the added essence of guns only added to their captivation.
Olivia spotted Octavia in the crowd, her lips twitching upwards in relief for the familiar face. Despite Bellamy's comfort, she'd missed the feminine touch of his younger sister, who always seemed to know what to say, especially when it came to the heavy hold of pasts. Slipping away from Bellamy, Olivia attached herself to Octavia's side. A gentle smile pulled at her lips, comfort visibly seeping through Olivia's posture as she relaxed into the familiarity.
"You okay?" Octavia whispered, ignoring her brothers speech about surviving against the grounders. Olivia had always been important to Octavia, though seeing the visible affect the grounds had on her, it was as if she grew even more protective for the younger girl who'd never shown her anything but kindness.
"Those nuts were not my friend." Olivia groaned, her head falling to Octavia's shoulder in pure defeat. The day had gotten the best of her, and shamefully she had let it. "It's my birthday." She added noticing the way Octavia inevitably tensed at the reminder of what had happened to Elliott Greyson seventeen years ago. "Everything's just been so messed up today, O."
Octavia sighed, tightening her hold on Olivia's trembling hand. The skin was clammy and cold, the only true signs of Olivia's rising panic. "Just another day on the ground then isn't it?"
Olivia nodded tightly, her eyes avoiding Bellamy's despite his clear gaze on her. Octavia noticed the tense exchange of deep emotion between the two, frowning up at Bellamy before she looked down at Olivia who was clearly fighting back tears. As if a protective switch had been flipped with her, Octavia wrapped her arms around Olivia before leading her away from the crowd.
Olivia Kane was just a broken girl trying to act like she had everything perfectly put together.
——
Just as Octavia had coaxed a very disoriented Olivia to sleep, Clarke came barreling into the drop ship with worry etched across her features. Her hands were trembling at her side, her face pale as she tried to spot out a specific person in the crowd. Octavia stood from the chair she was once sat in, instead moving to meet Clarke in the middle.
"Have you seen Olivia? I just spoke with Kane and Jaha." Clarke asked, her eyes widening as she realized that for the first time in days, Olivia was peacefully sleeping tucked away into the corner. Despite the many long days the junior cadet had spent on the ground, the only time she got any rest was when consciousness physically failed her. It was beginning to grow worrisome, especially for Clarke who'd bore witness to her obscene patterns of grief beforehand.
"She's pushing herself to hard, Clarke." Octavia breathed out deeply. The Blake girl didn't show her emotions often, especially not to people like Clarke, though her genuine worry for Olivia only intensified with every glance down to her bandaged hands. "She's going to end up dead before the Ark can even come down here if she keeps pushing herself so hard."
Clarke frowned at Octavia's observation. The blonde had been so wrapped up in perpetual boy drama, negligence overcame her thoughts when it came to Olivia and her health concerns. "Has she eaten anything? She looks pale." Clarke noted, looking towards Octavia for a moment before stepping closer to Olivia. Her small body was curled up beneath a multitude of blankets, the heavy heat providing her with a feeling of safety.
"She had some of the nuts, but Clarke I think something happened when she was out with Bellamy. The both of them aren't acting right." Octavia muttered feeling less then heard as she stood beside Clarke, wincing when the stubborn blonde pressed the back of her hand to Olivia's forehead. The last thing either girl wanted was to wake Olivia before her body was ready.
"Bellamy just got pardoned for his crimes. He said Olivia talked him into facing Jaha, something about the Iliad, I don't really know what he was saying. Between the guns and the pounding headache I have, everything's a bit fuzzy." The blonde was never one to complain about her own health, but she was too busy fussing over Olivia to notice the words falling from her own mouth, or small smile that overcame Octavia's features. It was something as little as a book title, however it meant so much more to the Blake's, especially Bellamy who carried the words against his heart with everything he did.
"She's a little warm, it's probably just from the blankets though, god knows she never used to be able to have enough. We'd have sleepovers and my mom would worry about her suffocating beneath the duvet's." Clarke's frown broke into a small smile at the memory, though her reminiscing didn't last much longer then a few mere seconds. "Do me a favor, keep an eye on her? I don't want her in here alone."
Octavia nodded, hardly bothered by the task of watching over her friend. They'd grown distant since their time on the ground, an empty ache filling Octavia's stomach with guilt. Olivia Kane had always been gentle as a summer breeze, though the ground was nothing but a brutal midnight hurricane. She put up a strong fight to maintain her peaceful mantra, though it was easy to see surrender was creeping up beside her.
#bellamy blake#who we are#olivia kane#raven reyes#octavia blake#finn collins#clarke griffin#the 100#bellamy blake x oc#bellamy blake x olivia kane
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Unraveling the Mystique Behind AURORA
Interview by Casey Eridio for Status Magazine (October 28th, 2019).
Before we spoke with AURORA, we weren’t entirely sure if she’s real. She appears to be this blithesome girl with overgrown braids and war paint around her eyes, which signifies tears and smile wrinkles—an ironic juxtaposition of two seemingly polar emotions. Her music entails a mystical fairy feel; it is as if she came out of a forest and learned to create electronic music. And up to this point, we’re still convinced that’s the case.
Growing up in a small island in Bergen, Norway, Aurora Aksnes was never meant to think like the common folk. When asked about her most vivid childhood memory, the 23-year-old recalls a rainy day in school when her classroom was noisy and she missed her ride home. After the chaos of the day, she plopped down on the couch, still drenched with her raincoat on, and stayed still as today’s dinner was wafting through the air and Leonard Cohen’s “Suzanne” plays in the background. “I just sat in the living room for a little while. I just really relaxed and I realized how much music can give—it was a break from life.”
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Now, Aurora believes that music is the closest thing she could get to spirituality, and through this, she manifests a sort of mysticism that is truly fascinating. She believes that apple cores contain wishes and dreams about being a stone at the bottom of the ocean. Her music never gives any sign of the modern era; she sees desire as an animalistic instinct in “Animal”, her inner turmoils as diseases in “Infections of a Different Kind”, and the underdogs as a part of her “Queendom”. Matched with the vivid storytelling and natural elements in an otherwise synthetic production, things are never as they seem in the realms of her brain.
“I just sat in the living room for a little while. I just really relaxed and I realized how much music can give—it was a break from life.”
For someone dreaming with her eyes open, she never appears to be out of touch with reality either. With the folktronica and art-pop fusion she introduced to us in 2012, she had explored almost every crevice of human emotion. “At the beginning of my career, my main goal was to write music so people could cry; music to be a friend for people out there who were struggling with emotions,” she explains. And after the release of her records Infections of a Different Kind – Step 1 and A Different Kind of Human – Step 2, Aurora seems to be going deeper, unfurling the secrets of what it means to be human.
While she puts emotions under a microscope, she also zooms out to see the big picture. “I realized that [music] can be much more,” she expresses. With her emotional intelligence and realization that she could become the voice for the voiceless, Aurora evolved into a more politically-charged artist, singing about toxic masculinity in “River” and the climate crisis in “The Seed”. This sense of clarity and compassion for people and the world obviously stems from growing up surrounded by nature. “You realize that you’re big compared to the bugs, that you’re so small compared to the trees and the mountains,” she observes. With this perspective, she has carried with her a clear understanding and a deep-rooted appreciation of life in all of its different forms.
Of course, not everyone can live on a peaceful island in Norway and become a philosopher basking in nature, but this is what the artist hopes to impart with the world through her music. In the haze of the nine-to-five life, there’s simply no time to stop and think. But the moment you put your headphones on and listen to the musings and ponderings of Aurora, she brings you back to her couch in Bergen, letting the raindrops soak in and taking a break from the bustles of life through music.
As she cooks up two new albums while on tour, Aurora makes time for us to discuss last night’s dream, skydiving, and the role music and nature plays in her life.
First up, tell us about your musical journey. Do you remember the first song you’ve ever written?
When I was a child, I loved to watch people more than I actually wanted to be with people. I like to see what people around me were going through. I was around nine when I wrote my first song in English, and it was about someone being bullied. It was quite a sad song—that’s all I can remember. After I wrote my first song, I just fell in love with it. It made me feel so good that I could create something that was only mine and that helped to use emotion and turn it into something beautiful. I could never stop after I started
“Everything I do becomes better because I can give more to the world when I am good to myself.”
How did you evolve into the AURORA we know now?
Well, it happened really organically. A lot has changed, of course, in my life. My world is a lot bigger now than it used to be. I have all these friends and fans all over the world and they have really taught me how small the world is but also how big it can be. The biggest change that I have discovered is what music can really do. Music can change people all over the world and help them understand emotions better. It’s a very beautiful thing.
Tell us about your creative process in your music.
It’s very different from time to time. Sometimes I have to run to the closest recorder and record my ideas. If I’m on tour, I have to bring my book and write down some ideas. I also like sitting quietly and watching the world go by. I write everything down in my notebook. I write everything that I see around me. I just can’t stop singing, I can’t stop writing. The world is very inspiring.
When I’m home, I have my piano, but obviously the piano is too big to be with me on my back [laughs]. But when I’m home, I usually just sit and play for hours and just improvise, and when something beautiful comes, I just stick with that. It’s very organic and natural and relaxed, the way I write. I just do it when I feel like it. And when I can’t write anything I just do something else like a painting. I try to keep things very natural and to have no pressure.
Speaking of that, you also do visual art and you painted the cover art of your single “Forgotten Love”, is that something you do often? Does art ever affect your music and writing?
It does! It has happened more and more throughout my career. The visual side of music, I have learned that people’s eyes seem to be more developed than people’s ears. I love painting when I write music at the same time, and I love painting the visuals to my song.
You’ve created your own language in the songs “Forgotten Love” and “A Different Kind of Human”, can you tell us the process of creating these? What is the inspiration behind it?
I care a lot about people [laughs]. I think it’s hard for people to talk about their emotions when they don’t know how to express when something is wrong or why or even understand why we are sad. Sometimes it’s hard to understand why we’re not feeling well about things. I wanted to make simple words to explain complicated emotions. So I just wanted to make a language for people to explain their emotions. It also sounds really nice and poetic.
You’ve mentioned that some of your ideas come up when you dream. What is the best dream you could recall?
I love all the dreams I’ve had. I love it when dreams make me do impossible things, like when I go on an adventure or flying—that’s my favorite dream. I did dream, the other day, that I was a stone at the bottom of the sea and I was just watching everything above me. It felt like the dream lasted for a thousand years. As a stone, I was just watching the world go by, for hundreds and thousands of years. When I woke up, I got inspired and realized how much life comes and goes. It’s really fascinating. I love being inspired by dreams. In Infections of a Different Kind, there’s a song that I wrote, almost in a dream, I just woke up in the middle of the night and let it play in my head.
“I just can’t stop singing, I can’t stop writing. The world is very inspiring.”
How did you know that you were a stone?
I just kind of feel it, and everything around me went so quickly when I was a stone. Time went much quicker for me and everything around it because a stone has such a long life. I think I really dreamed that I was a stone because all the life around me moved so fast—I don’t know I just had a feeling that I was a stone. It was really magical, and it was a good dream.
You lived on a small island in Bergen, Norway. How do you think growing up around nature shaped the way you think?
It shaped a lot. I really needed nature my whole childhood. I’ve grown up and thought of how important nature is and how beautiful it is. Everything you need to live is in nature so you learn to respect nature. I’ve often walked around in the forest when I was a child—I was more outside than inside my whole childhood, and I just think that being surrounded by big trees and the big animals and you will get a perspective over things if you realize that you’re big compared to the bugs, that you’re so small compared to the trees and the mountains. There are just so many beautiful things there, and it’s very humbling. I really love nature and I don’t think I would be the same without it.
You’ve shared with NME a guide on being peaceful and happy. How did you come up with these? What was the journey leading up to this realization?
I think the main reason why people find themselves a bit unhappy or stressed every day is that we forget to be kind to ourselves and others. There’s just this pressure to accomplish so much every day. Sometimes a successful day is just surviving it. We don’t need more sometimes. We don’t always have to have a successful day. As long as you survive it, that’s enough.
The world would have more happy people if we are all ready to help the people around us; It would benefit all of us when all people are more happy. It can be hard. When I can’t do things I want to do, I tell myself “it’s okay.” It’s okay to not be successful all the time, as long as you’re good to yourself. And when I’m good to myself, I can be better for the people around me and I can see my fans and hear their stories. Everything I do becomes better because I can give more to the world when I am good to myself. So all my life I’ve been happier when I’m not busy and I’m good to myself.
You pride yourself in being extremely free. What is one thing you’ve always wanted to try?
I’ve always wanted to jump with a parachute. I really want to know what it’s like to fly. I would love to be a bird—that would be the biggest dream. I would love to jump with a parachute just to experience flying for a few minutes. There are a lot of things I would love to try. I’m very hungry for life, and I’m very hungry to try most things that the world has to offer me. I would like to dance more and paint more. I would like to make a theater piece with music. I would like to make the best live show for people. I would like to focus more on the environment. I don’t know; there are a lot of things I want to try and I want to do. It’s very exciting.
Are you a big fan of musical theater?
Yes, I am! I would like to make a live show with a whole story. I would like to make a live show that is more than just a concert. It’s a big dream of mine to connect the two.
Do you have any plans on coming to the Philippines or anywhere in Asia?
Not this year, but I hope that next year I can be in more countries in Asia. I would love to go to wherever my fans are and this year, I’m going to Hong Kong, China, Tokyo, Seoul, and Singapore. I’m going to a few places but I would love to visit more places in Asia. It’s my biggest wish actually to be more in Asia and to meet my fans from all different countries. It’s a very big dream of mine. I could almost promise that next year, I will come to visit.
Written by Casey Eridio Art by Elbert Uba Photos by Morgan Hill Murphy Courtesy of Universal Music
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♚ Do you agree with fandom interpretation of your character? (roast the fandom again please I have popcorn)
not even remotely. lmao okay first I need to explain something to attempt not to sound like a really bad judgy person: when it comes to princess Emma, for me only my version of her can be possibly, realistic, because it’s the only realistic results that can came from the premise I see. Now that doesn’t mean I can’t respect that other people can have different ideas of how princess Emma is, but it can never feel real to me because those ideas come from a different interpretation of David and Snow, of the circumstances around Emma and that led to Emma, of how they’d react to what they have been through and what they’d teach her, on how her personality would respond to the outside world. Those interpretations are always valid, but they are not mine, and therefore I can’t agree and I can give you a thousand reasons why Emma for me would be a different princess than most fanon versions of her starting from what would led her to be this way instead. But I’m also aware that it all depends on my interpretation of every single thing involved in her life and my view of her isn’t superior, it’s just the only one that works for me.
I’ll put the rest under read more because whoops I may have a lot to say
Here are some common things I see that I absolutely understand where they are coming from but could never be true to me: -a princess Emma who is a serious, suave, normal classic princess. It’s extra rare in OUAT for the original fairy tale princesses to act in a classic noble-woman kind of way to begin with. Emma, the daughter of former bandit and now queen Snow White who has lived among regular people and who had drilled in her head that their people are important, and of David, formerly a stable boy, who fought against the unspoken rules of royalty like shutting up and accepting an arranged marriage, who has seven dwarves, a wolf and who knows who else being part of her parents council, who would have been taught to defend herself to be prepared to fight just in case, who would be certainly taught to speak up because her opinion and emotions matter, who has been shown and has seen from the beginning of her life that love wins, that she has all kinds of reasons to be happy and hopeful and grateful, would NOT be modest, would not be super serious, would not be a snob or unaware of her people’s struggles, and since even when it comes to Emma Swan her nature was to joke around and be happy as soon as the world gave her a minimum amount of reason to be that way, princess Emma has even more reasons to be that way. Her personality would be so encouraged by a loving, supportive family who wants her to respect others but also to express herself, to enjoy her life, the happy moments, and to find humor in everything. And David and Snow even speak in a different way from nobles like Kathryn, I doubt Emma would be too formal. It’s not that less loud, enthusiastic princess can’t be cool, I actually really like Kathryn, and Aurora may have been more ‘classical’ and out of her depth when it came to fighting but she still did everything she could to save Philip and to avenge him later, she was simply inexperienced and that’s not bad, but I cannot imagine Emma, with the family she has, her instincts, and what people around her would want to instill in her since young age, being the same kind of woman they are. -a princess Emma who hates ballgowns and balls and everything stereotypically feminine. Emma Swan, who has all reasons to favor comfortable easy clothing and lives in our world where often dresses and pink are associated to being weaker (?), still likes to wear stereotypically feminine things and to wear makeup and curls or styles her hair whenever she has some time off from her savioring. Even in s1, yes, when the sheriff election happened and she didn’t plan to have to run after criminals, she wore a cute skirt. Why would princess Emma hate them when she clearly likes the aesthetic and she hasn’t been raised with ideas such as ‘femininity is weak you must be distance yourself from it and prove you are different from other women’? Now, if you tell me she has problems with tight corsets because they are uncomfortable, that’s cool. Otherwise it just seems like she must be ‘special’ and therefore doesn’t like ‘girly’ things because ‘girly is inferior to masculine’. Still speaking stereotypically here, of course. Snow didn’t have to dislike dresses to be strong or special, she dressed depending on what she had to do. I believe Emma would be the same, with just some initial rebellion as a kid against girls until she grew up enough to realize she was being stupid. After that, she wears dresses when she can, she also likes comfortable riding clothing, she likes flowers, she likes colors, she likes the looks she gets when she wears low cut dresses, she likes to take care of her hair... When it comes to Emma Swan specifically and to different versions of her, I feel there is some hidden misogyny involved in wanting Emma to hate innocuous things to prove she’s ‘different’ and ‘stronger’. -helpless princess Emma: I can’t even. This is also what the Evil Queen’s wish brought to life. It’s already explained in my first point here but it bears repeating. Can you imagine two parents who were shown over and over that you must be prepared for everything because they will have more enemies come after them, enemies of them as royalty or for personal reason, leaving their only daughter completely unprepared, needing someone else to fight for her? After they had to learn the hard way, as fast as possible, and were at disadvantage for it? Emma would be trained from the beginning. -judgmental princess Emma, I get it, David and Snow were still less than welcoming to Killian - though I felt it was more due to his behavior than him being a pirate - but at the same time I cannot imagine being raised by someone who was a bandit and another person who technically committed treason by acting like a prince, and those two clearly never judged Ruby for being a werewolf, and so on, and to grow up to be immediately against people due to what they are. I feel Emma would have all the reasons to trust her instincts and to want to make sure someone is bad before treating them as such, while simultaneously wanting to avoid being manipulated and mistreated. -submissive Emma when it comes to men: I feel like I don’t really need to explain why when in the past I read CS involving a princess Emma who was all innocent and inexperienced I closed the page. -a princess Emma who has to deal with ARRANGED MARRIAGES BECAUSE HER PARENTS TRY TO FORCE HER TO MARRY PEOPLE LIKE I’m sorry but this is not even a matter of different perspective and respecting other people’s view of characters. David and Snow would never force Emma to marry someone, David and Snow suffered like hell because David was meant to marry Abigail due to king George’s choices. David and Snow love Emma. David and Snow would not do that to Emma. -just... a version of Emma that is so randomly ethereal and more similar to how real life past princesses are described in our world? when ouat woman are so real, with their flaws and qualities and opinions and motivations, and it just seems not to fit in a colorful family like the one Snow and David were going to have, dwarves and Granny included.
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KLAUS & REBEKAH VS CESARE & LUCREZIA BORGIA. I PART
Post written by ME. The animated gifs listed AREN’T MINE and DON’T BELONG TO ME IN ANY WAY. In recent months I have been watching replies of TV Shows The Vampire Diaries (TVD) and The Originals (TO), TVD’s spin off. I realized one of hidden storylines I miss is incestuous relationship between Klaus and Rebekah, brother and sister, both ancient vampires and vampiric bloodlines progenitors. Many are indications and large subtext in two TV Show lead to realize relationship between brother and sister is incestuous. Unfortunately, Klaus and Rebekah’s relationship is never made concrete in story, there aren’t sex scenes or kisses between them. On the contrary, this storyline is left to die, in favor of normal and conventional ships such as Klaus/Caroline, Klaus/Camille and Rebekah/Marcel, in which there aren’t blood ties. Before continuing, I want to clarify a thing: in REAL life, incest DISGUSTS ME. In narrative fiction, however, if told well, brother and sister or/and cousins incest and ONLY THIS may like me. On this point, we must remember one thing: Klaus and Rebekah AREN’T 100% brothers, but HALF BROTHERS, since they have only their mother Esther as a common parent. In vampiric literature and fiction in general, however, incest between brother and sister is more common than it seems, especially since, as TVD and TO remind us, one of beautiful sides of being a vampire is to free oneself and be disconnected from morality, conventions and rules human. Here are some examples: 1) In Vampire Knight manga and anime, protagonist Yuuki Cross is torn between romantic love for Kaname Kuran, her brother, a pure blood vampire and noble bloodline, to which their parents have promised her and Zero Kyriu, plebeian vampire and vampire hunter, raised with her:
2) In TV show True Blood, vampire Eric Northman makes love with Nora, his vampire sister:
3) Protagonists of horror movies The Hamilton's and The Thompsons are 5 vampire brothers, 4 males and a girl, called Darlene and she’s also Wendell, her twin, lover; 4) In role-playing game Vampire The Masquerade and Vampire The Masquerade: Bloodlines, between of family and vampire clan Giovanni’s habits, there is incest:
5) In Hemlock Grove TV Show, hybrid Roman Godfrey, partly human, partly vampire has a relationship with Letha Godfrey, his half-sister and cousin:
As for incestuous relationships between brother and sister in narrative level is long, but for vampires, I stop here. Nevertheless, none of these couples resembles Klaus and Rebekah. Incestuous brothers pair really resembles two vampires is Cesare and Lucrezia, of The Borgias, 2011 Canadian TV Show:
Big difference is in The Borgias third season, Cesare and Lucrezia physically consume their love, weaving a relationship, Klaus and Rebekah don't even kiss one another. Before moving on to parallels, however, I would like to show moments are indicative, in my opinion, of an incestuous relationship between Klaus and Rebekah: 1) Klaus's blatant jealousy for Rebekah's boyfriends and his habit of killing them or stabbing Rebekah, causing her to fall into torpor (vampire’s deep sleep) to separate her from them:
2) Klaus's habit of always searching, until he finds her, and not leaving without her. A question Klaus asks most often in TVD and TO is: "where is Rebekah?"
3) In 3x03 TVD episode and 1x03 TO episode, first Stefan then Camille mistake Klaus for Rebekah's FIANCE and remain perplexed when he replies he’s her brother:
4) In TVD's 4x02 episode, disappointed by fact Klaus saved Caroline, abandoning her, Rebekah attacks Klaus, shouting, despite everything, she has always loved him and she has always been close to him:
5) In TVD 4x04 episode, Klaus and Rebekah’s battle continues and their argument between contains ambiguous sentences: "You broke my neck”
“You threw away Elena's blood so I can't make anymore hybrids”
“Because you took me for granted!”
“ That's what big brothers do, sweetheart” (Rebekah and Klaus, 4x04, The Vampires Diaries) "[...] I mean, it's pathetic, really isn't it? How she continues to hand her heart to any man who shows her a hint of affection, you think she would learn by now from the endless cycle disappointment of and deception”
“But, I haven't.. instead, I STAY WITH YOU and let you leach every moment of happiness from my life” (Klaus and Rebekah, 4x04, The Vampires Diaries) 6) In TVD 3x08 episode and TO 1x02, first Elena, then Hayley, openly ask Rebekah WHAT'S REALLY BETWEEN HER and KLAUS, both surprised, even when she seems to hate him, she continues to love him:
6) There are other sentences lead us to think about true nature of Klaus and Rebekah’s relationship:
“[...] I'm bored. I want to go”
“Then go without me, I'm not your GIRLFRIEND”
“No, you're my sister, which means...You have to do as I say”
(Klaus and Rebekah, 3x03, The Vampire Diaries)
A sister or cousin doesn’t respond to her brother or cousin: "I’m not your girlfriend", to limit she says "you aren’t my father" ...
let's continue:
“Nik was MY FAMILY. If you were after him, you were after me”
(Rebekah to her father Michael about Klaus, 3x09, The Vampire Diaries)
Oh, WOW!
“Again with the wishes. Let me rephrase, you will come back with me or I will put you back in that coffin in which you rotted for 900 years”
“What happens to one, happens to all. You may not feel the effects of the dagger, but you'd lose YOUR PRECIOUS REBEKAH”
“Wouldn't be the first time”
( Klaus and Finn, 3x18, The Vampire Diaries)
“You could have come after me!”
“YOU WERE WITH KLAUS! I didn't know where, I didn't know if you still wanted to be with me! All you had to do was come home!”
(Rebekah and Marcel, 1x07, The Originals)
No matter how jealous a brother may be, why would a boyfriend be afraid to go and look for girl he loves and, above all, why should he think she might prefer her brother to him?
"You betrayed me. My OWN sister! " (Klaus to Rebekah, 1x08, The Originals)
"She's your sister. How can you hate her?”
“Because she has done what no one else has managed to do to me for 1,000 years... RIP MY HEART OUT” (Camille and Klaus, speaking of Rebekah’s betrayal, 1x15, The Originals)
Oh ... double WOW!
“You have no idea, do you? You have no idea what she was prepared to do for you [...]” (Elijah to Klaus, about what Rebekah was willing to do for Klaus, 1x16, The Originals)
Triple WOW, remember Rebekah, still human, was about to KILL her FATHER Mikael FOR KLAUS!
6) In TO 1x02 episode, Klaus tells he LOVE his sister Rebekah and, while other men come and go, HE’S CONSTANT in her life. In same episode, we learn Rebekah helped Klaus to GROW Marcel, whom he regarded as a SON. In TO 2x22 episode, Klaus asks Rebekah to stay in city and GROW his daughter Hope with him and Freya's help; 7) A perplexing narrative solution is Esther's choice, in TO 2 season, to transfer Rebekah’s soul and spirit into Camilla’s body, woman for whom Klaus and Marcel feel romantic feelings ... this isn’t first time Esther uses Rebekah to deceive Klaus. In TVD 3x20 episode, Esther enters Rebekah's body to trick Klaus and finish her plan with Alaric; 8) We cannot forget, then, Tristan, his sister Aurora and Lucien’s story, who remember Klaus/Rebekah/Marcel triangle, only with a vein of madness. Developed by Elaijah, Rebekah and Klaus, relationship between Tristan and Aurora is morbid and all-encompassing, so much so out of pure jealousy, Tristan almost tortured Lucien to death, on suspicion he was his sister's lover... only Klaus intervention, who created him, saved Lucien...
9) Watching TVD and TO we note when Klaus has to donate his blood to other vampires, he offers his wrist to women (Caroline in TVD 3x11 and 4x13, Elena in TVD 4x03), feeling pleasure when they drink. When Klaus must give his blood to men, he cuts his wrist, making blood flow in a glass, and then he pass it to victim. Only in extreme cases of life and death does Klaus offer his wrist to FAMILY men. For example, to Marcel in TO 1x22, when Marcel SAVES Hope born from witches, although he’s dying from Klaus' bite:
This is because, perhaps, as Damon explains to Elena in TVD 4x02, blood exchange between two VAMPIRES (Blood Sharing) is something PERSONAL (also sensual judging Damon and Klaus reactions when a vampire woman sucks their blood). That's why he left me puzzled to see Klaus urgently and rebelling give his wrist to Rebekah to get her back...
#klaus mikaelson#rebekah mikaelson#klebekah#elijah mikaelson#finn mikaelson#brother and sister incest#hemlock grove#vampire the masquerade#the hamilton's#the tompson#the borgias#cesare e lucrezia borgia#the originals#the vampire diaries#tv show#original family#marcel gerard#vampire#Vampire Knight#vampire knight guilty
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Northern Nights
There was a period of time where I didn't go home often. In ten years I had made two trips north. Over the last few years, I've been heading back to Yellowknife in September for some photography work. A family friend owns a salon, and she brings me up every year to shoot her staff headshots and her annual sale. The north in September is pretty awesome. There aren't that many bugs flying around and the weather can be relatively mild compared to the dead of winter. And then there are the lights. Having been in Yellowknife the last couple years in September, I've noticed one commonality: the Aurora is back and I don't have to wear a parka to shoot them. I started thinking of all the times I've been asked about the Northern Lights. I saw them when I was going to school. I saw them driving home from work. Gassing up my car. Eating a donair on Range Street. They were always just there and I definitely took them for granted. I had been to Blachford Lake when I was younger, probably 20 years ago. It was a summer camp with two friends, and although all our stories are different on what our time there was like, there was one common denominator: it was awesome. I started thinking that this would be a perfect place to host a photography workshop. The thrill of the float plane ride to the remote lodge. The sounds of a crackling fire which warms the cabins and lodge. The sauna and hot tub which can be accessed 24/7. The food, which is prepared using local ingredients whenever possible, including greens fresh out of the lodge's garden. The abundance of activities that you can participate in such as hiking, kayaking, canoeing, fishing etc all added to the allure of hosting a workshop here. Then, of course, is the pièce de résistance, the nightly Aurora Borealis shows. DAY ONE The float plane out of Yellowknife left shortly after noon. When we arrived at the lodge we were greeted by the staff and volunteers who keep the place going. After a short introduction and quick lunch, we continued on our tour of the resort grounds and were given a safety orientation. We checked into our cabins and planned to meet up in a few hours at the lodge for a presentation on night photography to get primed for shooting over the next three nights. While I set up and prepped for the presentation, Lys and Fern headed out and did some stand-up paddling while other guests sat in the lodge and made dream catchers.
My cabin.
Before heading out for shooting, I made sure I came home to a hot cabin. After dinner, we headed back to our cabins to put on warmer clothes and we headed out down by the dock where we arrived earlier that day. There weren't too many clouds in the sky at this point, and we were just practicing some light painting and long exposures when I looked at the back of the LCD on one of the participant's cameras and saw the faint glow of Aurora. We stopped what we were shooting and focused more on compositions that were better suited for shooting the aurora. The lights were off in the distance, not the greatest show and it only lasted for about 30-45 minutes before the thick cloud cover rolled in, but we managed to get some shots and stayed out until about 2am playing in the dark.
DAY TWO The next day saw us meeting after breakfast for a little hike of the area to scout out some potential shooting locations for that evening. It was much colder this day than the previous, and the clouds overhead were thick with little sign of reprieve. I crossed my fingers and hoped that the alleged "clear" forecast would actually hold up. We headed back to the lodge for lunch and a couple hours of downtime before meeting up later in the afternoon for an editing session. We looked over the images we had taken the night before and how to process them and bring out the colours that can often be hidden amongst the darker parts in images of the Aurora.
After dinner, we suited up once again, this time with a little more clothing as it was COLD. The cloud cover hadn't dissipated at all, so we decided to stay closer to the lodge so we could have a fire while we practiced some light painting and multiple exposures. As we were shooting, the thick cloud cover overhead started to crack. We could see the Aurora through the clouds, and they were moving and dancing so fast and so bright. Little by little, the clouds went away and the sky opened right up. There wasn't a dull spot in the sky as the Aurora danced overhead, filling the darkness with beautiful movement and colours. We were joined by some other guests staying at the lodge as we all shared in the wonderment that was being gifted to us after what seemed like a no-show. After taking photos of the lights for a while, we decided to set up our cameras to take some star trails. This gave us a chance to sit around the fire and watch the lights whilst our cameras stayed working. I'm a firm believer in "the moment" and having photographs of this amazing event wouldn't mean anything if we didn't have our own memories and feelings to associate with the pictures.
Photo by participant Lys Olson DAY THREE Having finished shooting mere hours ago (around 3am), we opted to have a slow morning and meet up around lunch. I headed to the hot tub to soak and read while Lys and Fern went for a little walk and took some photos of the area. It was a perfect start to the day after two late nights. This day was much warmer than the day before, but again, a thick layer of clouds had rolled in and wasn't looking too promising. We had lunch and headed out on a little boat tour of Blachford Lake before heading back to the lodge for more editing, showcasing how to blend multiple exposures to create a single image. We all got such great photos from the night before, and my excitement was rampant. I so wanted to skies to clear up for our final night, although two of three was a blessing already.
After dinner, we headed to the tipi which had since had its cover put back on. We watched and listened as Randy, a Dene man and Blachford regular, performed songs in his language on his drum for us. It reminded me of a lot of cultural activities I took part in growing up in the north, and a feeling of nostalgia washed over me. It put me in a trance. I don't know what was being said, but I know that I felt it. When the drum circle ended, Lys, Fern, and I headed to our cabins once more to gear up for our final night.
We found ourselves by the tipi again, wanting to shoot it with the cover on while the red fire burned inside. This didn't last very long. The wind picked up and the rain started. The wind was so strong that it started to blow the fire throughout the tipi and really shaking the structure. A wind-turbine was howling, and I won't deny that it was a terrifying sound. A shrieking that masked any other sound and made it impossible to hear. As the rain continued to fall, we decided to head back into the lodge to practice more light painting and multiple exposures. It didn't look like the lights would come out to play that night.
Around 1130pm, Jacob, one of the lodge staff, came to inform us that the clouds had actually lifted and the stars were out. Oh goodie. I popped my head out and sure enough, the sky was darker than it had been the previous nights, and the stars were brighter than most skies I've seen. We were finishing our shooting inside before heading out, and not five minutes after the announcement of clear skies, Jacob came back to tell us that the Aurora was out and going crazy. We stopped what we were doing and headed outdoors right away. I could go into detail about the scenes that were unfolding in front of our eyes, but I won't. There are far too many adjectives to describe the skies that night. The abundance of stars, the Milky Way (which I had never seen before in the NWT and was SO happy to have), and of course, the dancing Aurora Borealis. Out of all three nights, the night that looked the least promising was by far the best night for shooting. The lights made arcs in the sky. The water a mirror, reflecting the lights on the lake. There was almost too much going on that it was overwhelming. You couldn't look around and not find something to shoot. I was absolutely ecstatic for my workshop participants. They had travelled so long and far to come north and got to experience these lights all three nights, but also for myself, who had spent so many years taking the lights for granted. I got to sit and watch and truly enjoy them, and the memories I have from those nights are far better than any of the pictures I took.
Day 4 I woke up this day having not slept well at all. It's not that I didn't sleep well. I should say that I didn't sleep much. I went to bed with a lot of adrenaline still pumping as I was quite excited about the shots we got and I had a hard time winding down. When I did wake up, I packed up my cabin, albeit quite reluctantly. I wasn't ready to go. I headed up to the lodge for a final breakfast before having to say goodbye to Lys. She was on the first float plane out of camp so she'd be able to make her flight out of Yellowknife on time. Fern and I lounged around the lodge waiting for our ride, as new guests were arriving. I was very envious of the experience I hoped they would have. When it was time for us to leave, the flight seemed surreal at first. Taxiing out on the lake, flying over the lodge, heading back to civilization. I didn't want to do any of it. I wanted to stay right where I was. I was happy there.
I really want people to come north. I really want people to understand and experience what a small town and a remote lifestyle is all about. An area where bush planes are the norm. Where snowmobiles make up for the lack of motorcycles. Most importantly, no matter how much a small town can feel overcrowded, there are so many opportunities to be alone. I realize our time in Yellowknife as a group was very limited, but I always love hearing of people going there for the first time and what their impressions are. Take that, and fly someone out to a remote place like Blachford, and it's even more exciting to have people be thrilled about things you might otherwise have overlooked. That is why I created this workshop, and want to continue to do it annually. You might night get to experience -40 Celsius and ice roads, but there are certain aspects of living in the north I don't miss. Ok, well, I do miss the ice roads. Those were always fun. Instead, you get to experience the north in its very short season of transition from summer to winter. We say fall is about two weeks long if you're lucky. In those two weeks, the temperatures are mild, the bugs are few, and the lights can be absolutely incredible. The "Northern Nights 2019" workshop launches Sunday, September 16th at 6pm PST. If you're interested in joining me next year on this excellent adventure, please sign up for my mailing list and you'll be informed of when registration begins, or to stay up to date with any other workshops or events. You can email me if you have any questions! IMAGES AND TESTIMONTIAL FROM PARTICIPANT LYS OLSON
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#aaronvonhagen#arctic#astrophotography#aurora#auroraborealis#blachfordlakelodge#canada#nightskies#northof60#northernlightsphotographyworkshop#northernnights#northwestterritories#nwt#photographyworkshop#vancouverphotographer#yellowknife
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Intoxicated d.m 3/?
Summary; You agree to something that you may regret later on.
A/N; yey i uploaded woop woop!:) also let me know what you think of this part and if you would like another part too?!
I felt the last in me vanish with every hope cell that I had in me. I knew this has to end or else I couldn’t last playing this sick game of his.
“Malfoy” My voice was laced with pure betrayal and hatred as my eyes narrowed towards the boy I love. Or maybe loved...
Both of them didn’t stop nor look my way, even though my voice was perfectly loud to hear for anyone in the common room. An indignant expression crossed over my face as I crossed my arms together leaning on my right left leg tapping in against the wooden floor impatiently.
“Malfoy!” I shouted a bit louder for them hear, but when they still didn’t turn around my fist clenched together. I grabbed my wand from my pocket and cast a spell at them making them separate from each other.
Irritated look plastered on both of their faces as the looked around for a second to see who could have done such thing. Before spotting me in front of them, a visibly red blush from anger rise to my cheeks.
An Obvious smirk was printed on Draco’s lips, that I once was the one to feel them against my own. His face full of pride no guilt or ashamed expression on him.
“Well then, speak. I mean we don’t have all day do we princess.” he stuck his chin up high wrapping an arm around Pansy’s waist. Making her grin with happiness, as her stare traveled it way across to me.
Clutching my fists as I tried my best not to let the tears slip that wanted to fall like a waterfall. But I will not let this happen again. This wasn’t worth letting me feel blue.
I clenched my jaw and stood up straight swallowing the saliva prepared to speak, the words I never imagined I would ever say, especially to Draco.
“We need to talk, Malfoy” My voice trembling with every word that escaped out of my lips.
It startled Draco at first. He can’t remember the last time she ever called him by his last name. It sends a pang of outrage and agony. As he excused himself from Pansy.
He grabbed my hand sternly, as he dragged me away from the common room. Things that I wanted to say to him now disappearing into thin air now, as nerves crept up on me.
“Well then” he spoke up tapping his foot against the wooden floor as his stare lingered on my face. Taking a massive breath I spoke clear for him to hear.
“I’m tired. I’m tired because of you and everything that you do. I’m tired and hurt from the things you do. It hurting me! How can you not understand this Draco? You are hurting me mentally making me feel sick every single morning I wake up, because I know I will see you with a different girl each day. And you know what that does to me? It breaks my heart it crumbles me apart completely to catch you out there and I can't-do anything about it. I just- “
“If I hurt you, it's not my fault I wanted you” he cut me of leaning on his right foot as rolled his eyes at me.
The seething rage that wriggled in me set me fuming, did he really have the audacity to say such thing? How dare he?
“How dare you Malfoy? How dare you say it not your fault? You were the one who thought of this. It obviously was swirling through your mind somewhere” Frustration growing in me with every second that passed by.
“Woah Woah, Y/n you agreed to this. I mean you could have said no but you didn’t,” he replied his voice rising not out of anger but annoyance.
“Well, I lied. At least you could have checked with me before going on off kissing girls. Do you even know how much it hurts to see the person you love sharing their aurora with someone else? Do you?” I shouted at him tears forming at the bridge of my eyes as his cold stare turned into a confusing one.
“Why are you crying” he whispered looking at me like I had three heads. Draco was never good with emotions so of course, he would say something like this in such bad moment.
“What do you think Malfoy?” I sniffled wiping the tears away from my eyes that started to leisurely fall down my rosy cheeks.
“I don’t know. Cmon Y/n I think you should go take a relaxing bath”
“So that you could go back making out with Parkinson” My voice rung down the corridor, the sharp tone of mine sending shivers down Draco’s spine as a sigh escaped his lips.
“Just, ugh this is so difficult Y/n” he rubbed his eyes as he looked up at my teary face.
“Difficult ay? Fine then. If this is so difficult for you, for the one and only Malfoy. Why don’t you just screw off with Parkinson, alright? While I try to enjoy my life for once”
“Whatever Y/n”
That was the last straw for me, as I strolled away from him brushing past his shoulders. If he wanted this I will not go against it.
As Y/n walked away a tiny chuckle escaped his mouth, knowing quite well that she will come back after a while. He skipped along the path as he smiled to himself.
-
The days went along and months passed by spring overtaking Hogwarts as the breeze passed on. Y/n could not lie and say that she wasn’t having the time of her life because she was.
Her mindset was in such exceptional place that everyone noticed the positive energy that radiated from her body. Her huge smile was brought back making the whole Hogwarts shine bright like a diamond;))
Her smile was passed on to the other students that were gloomy or just lonely. It was like when she started to act more positive the whole school became a happier place.
Expect one. He was in the wrong set of mind, he didn’t feel the confidence and the cockiness radiate away from him anymore. He felt pressured and devasted on losing a person he will always love.
He gazes lingered towards her across the hall as she sat with the Raeclaws it didn’t surprise him, really. She was never against mud-bloods like he was. She didn’t mind what blood status you were if you’re kind then you are a good example in Y/n eyes.
He noticed that she got extremely close with Blaise once again, but he knew that she would never love him again. Y/n always said the love that happened in the past should only be treasured and kept in lock not repeating such thing again.
He realized that it would be just the same with him, the love they both once shared would be just a memory they once had together. Locked away to never be opened ever again.
It made Draco’s inside sink downwards from such thoughts, he never wanted to lose her but he knew nothing lasts forever. He only comprehended that fact on how much he actually hurt her.
At first, he thought it was fine and it wouldn’t hurt anybody. But it did, the most important person in his life got hurt because of such stupid thing he thought of not thinking of the consequences.
-
It was a windy day today as the towering trees swayed with the cold breeze, the clouds sailed in the sky with the birds. As the Slytherin prince shivered wrapping his scarf closer to his neck.
Draco had too much on his mind that day that a walk would do him good. Although, he didn’t expect to see you there. With a book in your hand leaning against the tree, your y/c/h swaying in the bitter abroad.
In relax manner, he ambled towards you his breath hitching in his throat as he understood what he is doing. But there is no stopping now, she must have heard his footsteps.
He took a seat next to her, their knees pushed against each other sending electricity through Draco’s body.
“Hey” he mumbled looking towards the lake at the birds flying past, far into the distance.
“Hello” her voice sounded unsure but it didn’t sound like she didn’t want him there, which made Draco instantly relax.
“How have you been?” he couldn’t help but ask, he felt so awkward talking to her, it felt like years since he was that close to her.
“Brilliant actually; I got closer with Blaise again which I’m so happy about, I found some new friends in - you’re not going to believe it, in Ravenclaw! I’m so so happy, I thought they hated me but it seems like not... Oh and I’m so much better at potions than I was before” she beamed with a glittering glow in her eyes as she spoke.
She seemed so cheerful, I never saw her so happy ever! It started Draco for a moment but he shook his thoughts away.
“Oh good” he cursed inside his head for making a small talk. He hated small talk but here he was having nothing else to say except ‘oh good’ It physically broke Draco apart, seeing Y/n so happy. It not because he doesn’t want you to be happy, it the opposite but when he wasn’t there to witness your happiness or be apart of it, it made Draco distressed.
“Look Y/n I can't-do this anymore, not without you anyways. I realized that if you are not there in my life, I will not see the brightness in each day. You can only bring light to my life Y/n. Don’t you understand! I’m true, madly, crazy, deeply in love with you. And there is nothing that could change that, no one Y/n. I am asking for your forgiveness, please take in you to forgive me. I know I am an asshole for what I have done, but I am so so sorry. Please forgive me” he pleaded gazing at your eyes he fell in love with, focusing on any emotions that could pass through them.
She listened carefully, taking in every word he spoke appreciating that he got some balls to even say sorry. As he is not the type of guy to do so. It stunned Y/n at first but she tried to push those things away far back to her mind.
His look gave of the genuine guilt and regret he felt inside. It was all dancing in his eyes, his emotions. The months that they spend together she learned all the different emotions that sparked in his eyes. All of those different meanings that no one could ever get.
Although, the stubbornness filled her and she sat up straight placing her book down, glancing at Draco trying to hug him from the closeness they were at. She still could feel the energy that was surrounding him, love.
She could not say it wasn’t the same because it was. It was! And it annoyed her so much, to the point where she just wanted to scream shout, anything that would make her let out the anger built up inside.
The love for Draco that surrounded her was unbearable, she hated it for it but she could not do anything about it. Giving a last look to Draco she turned her head back to the lake and started off towards the water that was glowing from the sunlight.
“No” she mumbled her voicing shaking but keeping it strong, not letting the tears slip down.
“What” Draco sounded broken and confused but he knew what that meant, even though he still didn’t want to.
“I said no, Draco. I do not forgive you and I think it would take me more than a few weeks to forgive for such thing.”
A loud sob escaped Draco’s lips as his body trembled out of sorrow. Y/n’s heart filled with guilt as she looked at his quivering body. She bit her lip thinking what to do in this situation.
So the first thing she thought would work would be to hug him. So that is what she did, she wrapped her petite hands around his body placing her head on his shoulder. Draco nuzzled his head closer to her neck drenching her white blouse with his tears, but she didn’t care at this time.
“Cmon Draco please don’t cry. That the last thing I want to see,” she spoke up softly as she stroked his hair in a gentle manner. Which made Draco instantly relaxed.
The sniffles quieted down as they both sat in comfortable silence as they stared into the lake.
“I’m sorry Y/n” Draco suddenly spoke up cutting the silence that once surrounded them. Looking up she started into his puffy eyes.
“Draco I can’t forgive you right now, not so fast anyways. Maybe someday but not today. We are both not in the right set of minds.”
She heard laughs and voices behind her in the distance turning her head she could see Blaise and some of the friends from Ravenclaw. Faster than a flash a huge grin spread across her face, as she quickly stood up. A dumbfounded expression spread across his face.
“Sorry Draco it was nice talking to you, but I need to go now. See you” she beamed skipping away. He turned his head seeing Blase and some other friends of Y/n.
His heart sank deep down glancing towards Y/n as she kissed Blaise on the cheek and walked away from the black lake.
Agonizing feeling struck through his body as the last tear dripped down his cheek, as he knew for a fact he will be never getting Y/n back.
#draco malfoy#malfoy#draco malfoy smut#draco malfoy x reader#draco malfoy imagines#draco malfoy imagine#tom felton#tom felton smut#tom felton x reader#tom felton imagines#tom felton imagine#harry potter#potter#harry potter fandom
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Weekend Getaway (Emre Can OS)
This one’s for the lovely Meera Sorry for the wait darling and I hope you like it. As always, please share your thoughts. xoxo
Aurora was never a risk taker. But a trip to the mountains with no other than Emre Can may make her rethink her tactics of playing everything safe.
Aurora fixed her glasses and tried to focus on the paper that she was trying to write. As if this wasn't hard enough her phone screen kept lighting up with every new text message that arrived. Reading just a preview, she rolled her eyes and let out a sigh of irritation. Sometimes she really couldn't believe how irresponsible her friends were!
They have all agreed to go to the mountains near the city tomorrow, to catch up and take advantage of what was probably the last sunny weekends this year. However, one by one, all of them seemed to come up with an excuse not to go, in the last minute. Furious, she turned her phone face down and did her best to focus on her work.
She only allowed herself to look at her phone about half an hour later when she took a short break to fix herself a cup of coffee. Leaning on the kitchen counter as she waited for the water to boil, she skipped through the new messages. It seemed that the only one who actually still wanted to go, was the one who suggested this trip in the first place- Emre Can.
Aurora didn’t know him all that well. To be fair, this was a group of about twelve people some of which she knew better than others. All of them have met at different points over the years and have somehow bonded together. For instance, there was her absolute best friend, Jenny, whom she’d been friends with over 14 years, and then there was Emre, a friend of Jenny’s boyfriend, who went hanging out with them once or twice and sort of just stuck around. She didn’t have a single clue why he would hang out them when he was a pretty famous footballer around here, but she was the last person to judge someone. To be fair, just because she wasn’t close to him didn’t mean that he hadn’t gotten along quite well with some of the people in their group.
Her phone buzzed signalizing another text but the name on the screen surprised her. “Emre Can” it read. Hesitating for a bit, she opened the message and read it carefully. Apparently he was as annoyed as her and was asking if she still wanted to go to the mountains even though everybody else has canceled.
“You mean just the two of us?” Aurora was quick to respond.
His answer came a moment later, “If you don’t mind.”
Ignoring her trembling fingers, she typed her response, “If you’re okay with that”.
“Is 9 a.m. okay for you?” read the text message that followed.
“Can we go at 11? Saturday’s my day for sleeping in.” She even added a smiling emoji.
“See you at 11,” he responded a few moments later.
Then came the second guessing. Aurora started wondering if this was really a smart decision. Admittedly, she was furious at all her friends for canceling and wanted them to regret not coming with Emre and her, but on the other hand, she barely knew Emre and was not even completely sure she liked him. He was polite and nice indeed, and never during their short interactions did he do or say anything to offend her, but they were just so different. He was a jock, a popular and outgoing person who seemed to have the ability to charm everyone he wanted to. She, on the other hand was an introvert. Not so much shy, but she liked spending time on her own, never too interested in trying new things or meeting new people. She was the most relaxed person around the people she knew and loved, but she just wasn’t the type to socialize very easily. And especially, not with someone like Emre.
Closing her laptop and turning the lights off, Aurora headed to bed before her thoughts made her cancel on him.
---
Their ride to the mountains only convinced Aurora more in what she was already thinking- she should’ve canceled too. It was the most awkward hour that she has had in a long while, and she is sure Emre felt the same. They’ve managed to exchange a few words when they were both complaining about their friends being complete jerks or when they used common friends as a possible topic of their conversation. However, Aurora lacked the ability to small talk for a long time and looks like Emre was no good at that either because they were only able to chit chat for a very brief time.
At one point, Aurora asked to take a look at the playlist in his car, and almost squealed in happiness when she saw that, among the songs that she has never even heard of, he had For the First Time by The Script.
“You listen to The Script?” she asked almost too eagerly. Finally a common ground she squealed in her mind.
“What?” Emre was confused, and when she showed him which song she was refereeing to, he waived his hand dismissively. “Oh it’s not mine; a friend added it to the list.”
A small “oh” escaped Aurora’s lips, and she leaned against the window trying to hide her disappointment. This was going to be a long day she thought.
The awkwardness between them continued and seemed to grow more by the second, even as they went to have breakfast. They exchanged a couple of words as they waited for their food, and Emre chuckled as she took pictures of the restaurant and the view to send to their friends to, as she said, “rub it in their faces”. But she secretly envied them because the awkward silence between her and Emre was becoming unbearable. She was actually hoping that something would come up so that they would have to leave early, for she had no idea how they were going to spend the whole day like this.
It was only after they’ve finished their breakfast that things began to ease up a little bit. They were both sipping their coffee and aimlessly scrolling through instagram, when Aurora stumbled upon a post about the movie The Intern.
“Awww this movie is sooo good!” she exclaimed excitedly, turning the phone to Emre to see.
“Oh yes, it is absolutely amazing,” Emre agreed with a grin.
Aurora’s mouth fell open. “You’ve watched it?”
“Yeah, I’ve actually seen it a couple of times,” he admitted sheepishly, scratching the back of his head.
“Wow, to be completely honest with you, I’d never think that you’d like these types of movies” she said, truly amazed.
“Why is that?” he asked with a smile. Aurora opened her mouth to answer but she realized she didn’t know what to tell him. She just didn’t think that he was that type of person. But which type was that exactly? The one that could love the same things as she did?
They started talking more and more about the movies they liked, both thrilled when the other one mentioned the movie that they found fascinating. Then one topic lead to the other one and soon they were both rambling about things they liked and disliked, laughing and teasing each other good-naturedly about some bad choices.
The atmosphere has slowly transformed from awkward to a quite pleasant one. Aurora thought to herself that maybe meeting new people and getting out of her comfort zone wasn’t as bad as she’d always portrayed it. In her mind, she made a self reminder to step out of her routine more often.
“Would you like to go for a walk?” Emre asked after a while, and Aurora gladly accepted, packing her belongings into her backpack.
The day was unusually beautiful for this time of the year. Had it not been for the snow melting on the ground, one could easily forget that it’s winter. They walked down the path into the woods and up the mountain, enjoying the beautiful view and soaking up the sun. Emre was retelling some anegdote from training and as he laughed, Aurora caught herself thinking how his was the prettiest smile she has seen in a long time. And really, on his slightly darker skin tone, his teeth seemed so dazzling white, but what was even more beautiful were his deep brown eyes that seemed so warm and soft as he laughed.
Once they have returned to the restaurant Aurora suggested that they play some board games. She asked the waiter if they had any, but he informed her that they only had UNO cards and chess, and chess was already occupied by the senior couple sitting by the window. Not really being an expert in chess and believing her friend wasn’t either, Aurora took the UNO cards.
Emre admitted that he hadn’t played since he was a kid, so she re-explained the rules to him. She won first two or three games, but Emre was a bad loser. He demanded they play more and more until he finally won and then he tried beating her score, but Aurora wouldn’t give up on it so easily.
“Ha! I win!” Emre exclaimed, throwing his fist in the air, after he threw his last card on the pile leaving Aurora with a couple of cards left in her hand. “10-7!” he said, indicating that he was now leading by 3 points.
Aurora chuckled rolling her eyes good-naturedly. Maybe she should’ve stopped the game while she was still winning.
She glanced out the window only to see that the sun has begun to set. The sky was painted in beautiful colors, and the city which was slowly being swallowed by the dark looked magnificent from up here.
“What a beautiful view,” she gasped, grabbing her phone to snap a few shots.
“It is indeed,” she heard Emre agree. But when she turned towards him he wasn’t looking through the window, but at her.
He quickly averted his eyes and Aurora tried to hide her blushing cheeks. Even though she convinced herself that she’d misunderstood him, suddenly all small signs that he had shown throughout the day started playing in her head. How she’d often catch him staring at her direction. How he helped her fix her scarf, his eyes lingering on her lips just a bit too long. How his fingers brushed against hers as he took the tea cup from her hands. How amazed he was by how soft her hear was after he’d asked to touch it. How softly he gazed at her when she was rambling.
Thinking about it now, Aurora started questioning herself if maybe there was a slight chance that he liked her. He was a very handsome man judging by his physique. His smile was definitely the prettiest one she has seen in a long time, and there was just something so calming about his eyes. But he got more attractive by the minute, with every conversation they shared. Aurora had no idea that one’s opinion about another person could be completely changed after just one day.
“So, do you like me any more now?” Emre asked all of a sudden.
Aurora almost chocked up on the tea she was sipping. Did he have the secret ability to read her thoughts?
She cleared her throat, recomposing herself. “What do you mean?”
“Well I had a feeling that you didn’t really like me all that much before, but I guess that’s fair because you didn’t really know me. How about now?”
“Um, I- I’m sorry you got that impression.” Aurora stuttered, evidently surprised. “It’s not that I didn’t like you it’s just…you were kind of like an unexplored territory for me. At first I thought you were cocky and overly confident and full of yourself-”
“Wow,” Emre raised his eyebrows, amused.
“But now- now that I’ve had a chance to get to know you better I- I realized there’s much more to you than what I’ve thought. And I’m glad I got the chance to find that out.” She said honestly.
He smiled softly at her, “I am too.”
Suddenly, she felt sort of uncomfortable sitting so close to him, his gaze burning through her skin. All of a sudden she started feeling self-conscious around him but the self-consciousness was mixed with some strange urge to impress him, make him see her in the best possible light. She felt as though she…she liked him. But that was very unusual, for he was not at all the type of guy she would fall for. Making new friends is quite nice, but he just wasn’t for her. And she knew it. Yet, there was something so calming about talking to him, spending time with him. There was just something about the way he looked at her, smiled at her…or maybe she just wasn’t the object of male attention in a long long time.
They had spent the rest of the evening simply talking since Aurora refused to play any more games with him. Turns out she was even worse loser than he. Emre tried to teach her a few things about football and how the game functions but gave up on the task soon enough since everything he told her was met with her blank expression signalizing that she didn’t understand a single thing.
They were planning on heading back to the city soon, when a group of tourists occupied the table next to theirs. There were five or six of them and they seemed to have come from Spain. The group was talking and laughing very loudly and it seemed like they were having a great time.
Soon enough one of them pulled out a guitar from its suitcase and began fidgeting with the wires. Aurora had learned Spanish in high school, so she was able to understand a little bit of what they were saying. Apparently the guitar was new and he was explaining his friends that he thought it didn’t work properly. The redhead sitting opposite of him said that it was probably him- not knowing how to play it right, and everyone laughed. To prove them wrong, he started playing the notes of some Spanish song, the one that Aurora has heard somewhere and vaguely remembered. She started humming to the song while Emre looked at her amused, smiling softly. One of the guys from the group noticed her humming along and invited them both to join in. Emre and Aurora pulled their chairs closer to the group’s table, and soon more people followed, clearly intrigued by this cheerful young group. Even the senior couple that Aurora saw playing chess earlier today came by. Soon they had to move their little group to the sofas by the window because there just wasn’t enough room for everyone to sit anymore.
The atmosphere was so cheerful and everyone was just so happy and relaxed, and Aurora, who was just this morning wishing for this trip to end as soon as possible, was now mentally high-fiving herself for saying yes to Emre’s invitation.
The two of them were sitting on one of the sofas together. Emre’s body was so close to her that their arms were touching. Sitting so close, the scent of his perfume filled her lungs and as she hummed along to the song that they were playing, she fought the urge to lean on Emre’s shoulder. It was a bit chilly so she wrapped herself in her thick scarf and sipped her wine, and maybe she would’ve dared to make a move had this not been only her first glass.
As she closed her eyes and sang along, she leaned back against the sofa. But as she did, she felt Emre’s arm behind her back, resting on the sofa as well. She thought it was an accident so she quickly wanted to move away, but Emre wrapped his arm around her shoulder. She turned her head to look at him and their eyes locked for a moment before Emre leaned in and pressed his lips softly against hers. Moving on their own, her lips kissed him back, and she expected the kiss to last much longer but it didn’t.
Emre pulled back and gazed tenderly into her eyes, before he leaned against the sofa again, his arm still wrapped around her shoulder. He seemed so relaxed and peaceful that Aurora didn’t know what to think. He didn’t even say anything about the kiss. He didn’t even apologize. Not that he needed to- she didn’t have anything against it, but did he think he could just kiss her like that and don’t say anything?! She forced her inner self to stop freaking out and took a few breaths to cool down.
All of a sudden, the place became too crowded, too small and way too hot. She could feel her cheeks burning and her heart pounding against her chest. Afraid that Emre could hear it too, Aurora stood up and left the room under the excuse that she had to use the restroom.
---
Looking at herself in the mirror, she cursed at the fact that she had the tendency to blush even at the smallest things. Not that kissing a guy she barely knew was a small thing but still. She splashed some water over her heated cheeks and washed her hands, hoping to cool down a little bit. She tried telling herself that it was just a kiss, that he probably got caught up in a moment and nothing more.
But the thing is…she wanted it to be more than a moment. She hoped that he kissed her because he wanted to taste her lips on his. Because he liked her. And then her mind reminded her of all the small signs from and her heart jumped with hope that maybe he did like her after all. But she had awful experience with getting her hopes up so she shook her head and forced herself to not think about it. Aurora braced herself and stepped out of the bathroom promising that she’ll behave as if this wasn’t a big deal.
But as she did so, a pair of strong hands grabbed her, and soon she was pressed against Emre’s masculine figure, while his lips found their way to hers. He kissed her more passionately now, his tounge exploring her mouth as soon as it opened. Her hands creeped up his chest and wrapped around his neck and he wrapped his arms tighter around her pressing her more closely against his body if that was even possible. Once they finally stopped kissing it took them a couple of moments to catch their breaths and recompose themselves.
Aurora immediately opened her mouth to ask what was all of this supposed to mean, but Emre shut her up with a peck on her lips.
“Don’t ask,” he said looking into her eyes, “I have no idea either.” He chuckled a bit shyly as if he read her mind once again.
“Do you want to stay here or go home?” he asked. “Because all I know is that I want to keep kissing you for as long as you allow me.” He said sincerely, his fingers caressing her face.
Aurora was completely utterly speechless. She didn’t know what to think. She was a type of person who always needed to know all the facts before making a decision. Her mind demanded answers.
Taking Emre’s outstretched arm, she followed him back in the room, deciding that maybe it’s not the worst thing in the world to take a leap in the dark.
A/N: The movie that I mentioned here is incredible. If you haven’t watched it yet, you won’t regret it I promise. And so is the song which I also mentioned in this OS.
#emre can#emre can imagine#emre can imagines#emre can one shot#emre can oneshots#emre can fanfiction#emre can fanfic#emre can fanfictions#emre can fanfics#fc liverpool#liverpool#fc liverpool fanfic#fc liverpool fanfiction#fc liverpool imagine#fc liverpool one shot#german nt#german nt fanfiction#german nt fanfic#german nt imagine#german nt one shot#football#football imagine#football one shot#football fanfiction#football fanfic#footballer#footballer imagine#footballer one shot#footballer fanfic#footballer fanfiction
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Coming Home - Jenna and Kyu
Jenna tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear as she stepped off the plane. It had been a long trip back from Johannesburg. The trip had been exhausting, if exhilarating, bringing her through 5 countries in Southern Africa in three months. She was ready to go home and collapse in bed, then wake up and eat all the British food she hadn’t thought she would miss.
Following the signs directing her to the baggage claim, she couldn’t help but smile. In a few minutes, she would see Kyu again. She had missed him terribly, having grown used to having him by her side. They had lived together for years, and this was the first time they had been separated for a significant amount of time. Her job promised that this would be a common occurrence, but she couldn’t help but miss him. She had tried to hold herself back, keeping the calls to once a week so he wouldn’t worry about her too much. Kyu, ever the writer, had sent her long letters through the post that she read again and again whenever she got too homesick. Her replies hadn’t been nearly as eloquent, but she had tried to put just as much love into them.
Looking back up as she approached the baggage carousel, she cast her eyes around.
“Kyu!” she exclaimed, spotting him standing closer to the exit. A large smile spread across her face as she hurried towards him. He met her halfway and she threw her arms around him.
“Kyu,” she said again, not quite believing she was back yet. She buried her face in his neck and felt herself relax, even as tears reached her eyes.
“I missed you,” she told him quietly, keeping her face hidden in his shoulder. She felt him run a hand through her hair and smiled again.
“I missed you too,” he replied, and Jenna looked up to take in his face. A few tears were on her face and he frowned when he noticed.
“Sorry,” she said, wiping her eyes. “Happy crying.” She sniffed and pulled herself together, reluctantly detaching herself from him, realizing this wasn’t the place. She smiled again and heading over to claim her bags, confident he was following her.
“How was your flight? I always hated flying.” he asked lowly as she heaved one of her bags into the back of their car. Kyu grabbed the other and tossed it in the trunk behind the first. Their car wasn’t much to look at, but they could both drive it, something some wizarding couples couldn’t claim to be able to do.
“It was long,” she admitted. “I tried to sleep some, but it was just too cramped. They did have some in flight movies though! I got to rewatch Mulan and Hercules again.”
“So that’s what, the millionth time?” He smiled briefly, “To be fair, I liked both of those.” Kyu was well aware of her love for Disney movies, given how many times she had made him sit down and watch them.
She walked around the car, getting into the passenger side. She was surprised at the level of energy she was feeling now, given she had been ready to fall over when she got off the plane. She supposed being reunited with Kyu had given her a second wind.
Kyu closed the trunk and walked around to the driver’s side as she continued. “It was so exciting though. I was a little sad at first that I was going on this excursion instead of the Lethifold one, but the Streelers we found were gorgeous.” She knew Kyu had secretly been happy she wasn’t researching one of the most dangerous creatures in the world, but a relatively easy one instead. Still, he had listened to her talk about the pros and cons of each one and let her talk through it, nodding and asking questions every once in a while to let her know he was still listening.
“I didn’t have much time to draw, but I did get a few sketches of them that I want to expand on.” She only had about ten or so pages of her sketchbook filled up, which was a bit disappointing. She had been so busy with the numbers and interactive part of the trip, she hadn’t been able to capture the perfect likeness of the Streelers.
“You’ll have to show me when they get home.” Kyu said, turning the wheel to get off of the highway, “I’ve been deprived of your artwork for too long. The ones on our walls can only hold me over for so long.”
“They were so beautiful, the way it changes color. It always found a way to be a complimenting color to the landscape, which is very strange. Most color changing species try to blend in, but the Streelers stood out in every background.” She paused, realizing she was repeating herself, knowing she had told him most of this before. She glanced over at him to see if he was bored by this, but continued as he glanced over at her sudden silence. “We’re going to analyze the data and see what the numbers say, but we’re fairly certain it chooses the colors on purpose, and not randomly like previously thought.” She was less excited at the prospect of being stuck at a desk running numbers and analyzing data, but knew that the trip more than made up for it.
“While that sounds like it may bore you, it sounds like a great trip to keep your mind occupied while you struggle through number crunching. Tell me more about the Streelers.”
“It was great,” she said, leaning back in her seat and smiling wistfully. “They were so beautiful, but death followed them everywhere. The trail of dead grass behind them was such a sharp contrast to the glimmering shells. It was almost poetic. A warning: beautiful things are the most deadly.” She looked back over to Kyu, finding him attentive but still focusing on the road.
“You know,” she started. “I had a little accident with the venom.”
That got a physical and verbal response. “What?” Kyu said, taking his eyes off the road and looking over to her sharply.
“Yup. A Streeler ran right over my face. Had to get plastic surgery to reconstruct it.”
Kyu sighed and gave her an aggravated look, realizing she was messing with him. “Not the right time to be joking, Jen.” He gripped the steering wheel a bit tighter as she laughed, but she could see a small spark of amusement in his eyes, even as they rolled in their sockets.
She fell silent, looking at him for a moment.
“Is something wrong?” she asked, seeing the tension in his shoulders and the way he hadn’t been talking much.
“It’s nothing, just a case.” He said. “A difficult one.”
“Anything I could do to help?”
“No,” he said softly, pausing before continuing. “Sorry. I am glad you are home.”
“I never doubted that,” she replied. Maybe a few years ago she would have wondered, but she liked to think she had moved past those insecurities about their relationship. She knew him better than anyone, the same way he knew her, and she knew he wouldn’t stay around if he wasn’t fully committed.
“I’m sure whatever it is will work out,” she said, giving him a small, sad smile, and placing her hand over his. Even now, she checked his body language to make sure he was comfortable with the touch, though he hadn’t shrugged her off in years.
He nodded, though didn’t seem convinced, but he grasped her hand anyways.
“Do you want to hear about the food?” she asked, ready to talk for the rest of the drive home. That was their dynamic a lot of the times, she talk and he listened. Kyu was a very good listener, though, often bringing up small details of previous conversations out of the blue. The two pulled up to their house, Kyu parking the car.
She grinned as she entered their house for the first time in three months. There was a new ward Kyu had set up while she was gone that she had to be keyed into, but everything else was the same. She took in the tan walls, decorated with photos and some of her artwork. The curtains next to the TV were still covered in cat hair, and books and papers were spread out on the coffee table in the living room.
Kyu brought in the heavier of her two suitcases, heading to the bedroom to place them on the floor. She lingered in the living room, glancing around for a flash of fur. “Ariel? Shiro? Shadow? I’m home,” she announced, pulling the curtains back to find one of the aforementioned cats.
“Hi Ariel,” she said, reaching out to scratch between her ginger ears. “Did you miss me?” she asked her. “You didn’t harass Aurora while I was gone, did you?”
“She did,” Kyu said, approaching Jenna from behind.
Jenna sighed, used to Ariel messing with the owl. “Don’t hurt each other, okay?” she told her. “I don’t want either of you injured.” Ariel simply looked up at her smugly and Jenna smiled. Kyu laughed at both of them and crossed to the opposite side of the room, pulling the curtains open.
“Where are Shiro and Shadow?” she asked.
“Shadow was on the bed a moment ago, I haven’t seen Shiro.”
Jenna headed towards the bedroom, seeing that the black cat was indeed on the bed, though he hopped off to come rub against her leg when he saw her.
“Hi Shadow,” she said, crouching down so she could pet him too. She laughed quietly, seeing that she had been home a few minutes and was already covered in cat hair. From her spot on the ground, she spotted a white tail under the bed.
“Come here Shiro,” she said, reaching out a hand, only for him to disappear further into his hiding spot. Shadow, affronted that she was no longer petting him, went to rub against Kyu’s leg who had appeared in the doorway. Jenna giggled as Kyu relented, rolling his eyes again as he reached down to pet him. “Fine, you win. I’ll shower you with attention for a minute or so. Greedy cat…”
She smiled as she headed into the bathroom, grinning to herself as she changed into her pajamas. She paused in the mirror, examining the length of her black roots, having no opportunity to bleach it in the last few months. She wondered what Kyu would think if she just let her natural color grow back in. Bleach was getting expensive.
She exited the bathroom to find Kyu already changed and getting into bed.
“I thought I was the tired one, but you beat me into bed.”
Kyu paused, looking slightly grumpy, but explained in slight embarrassment. “I know you like to cuddle.”
She melted. How was it that after so many years he still had this affect on her? She walked over to the bed, pulling back the covers and sliding in, curling up at his side. She sat silently for a few moments, enjoying this.
“I missed you,” she told him again.
He nuzzled in a bit closer, “I missed you too.”
“I’m glad I’m home. Nothing is better than this.” She shifted upwards, leaning over to kiss him. It was a soft and sweet moment. She lingered above him, and breathed. “I love you.”
A moment, and then: “I love you too.”
She smiled as she reached over to turn off the lights, and curled up again, resting her head on his chest. Kyu placed his hand on the nape of her neck and rest his head against the pillow.
“Goodnight, Kyu.”
“Sleep well, Jen.”
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Norway
Every time I talk to someone about my time in Norway I get emotional. It's such an indescribable feeling to be on this current high. I have so much gratitude. I can't write about this without being filled with so many overwhelming emotions. This year has been a roller coaster but I wouldn't trade any moment for anything. I have gone from complete isolation and a dream job in the hills of Vinstra only surrounded by animals, to my first van trip which ended up being a lot tougher than I imagined. On new years I watched the fireworks from a rooftop in Oslo with a bunch of deep strangers. I spent some hard weeks looking for a job in Oslo and battling through one of my lowest mental points. Then I traveled North to start an awesome new job and met more great people and animals. I got to show my parents this country with all the pride a person can feel and now I face some very hard goodbyes which just cement how much of my heart this country has. I feel so damn lucky right now, I have just had the craziest year and am ending on an incredible high. I'm unsure how things got this good for me, it all feels very dreamlike. Extremely sad to be leaving this beautiful place but my heart is as full as can be. I am sitting here writing this at 11:30 pm with the most beautiful pink mountains out my window and a sky that never goes dark. I just can't believe this is my life; this has been my life, this is what I made it. This one might be a bit of a read but I want to get everything on the page so I never forget it. So I remember in hard times to come, how bloody special life is.
Norway. The place of grass roofed wooden houses, of picturesque fjords and vast valleys. Where people are quiet but friendly and hard to meet. The place of overpriced chocolate but pancakes for dinner. Where getting drunk takes on a new meaning and everyone stays living where they were born. The place where Winter is as real as it gets with snow stories thick. Where you learn that anything below negative 10 degrees is just fucking cold and frozen hay bales become your worst nightmare. Where the sun controls how you feel, keeping you awake in the summer and something you yearn for in the winter. It's untouched beauty, small cities and summer cabins in the middle of nowhere. Where everyone has a good quality of life and don't quite realize how lucky they are. Where farms have 20 cows, each with a name and farm dogs that sleep on your bed. The place you need winter tires to drive on roads encased by 3 meter tall snow walls. Where reindeer are feral and farm animals roam free in the summer. Land that comes with surprises at every turn and a hike into the mountains is as accessible as walking out your front door. A country you feel safe enough in to leave your car running while you do your grocery shop and where you don't think twice about spending the night alone in the mountains. There are so many amazing qualities of this country and I am so glad I have been immersed in it for the last 12 months. It would be fucking hard to find a place to beat this.
In the summer I would drive the tractor to the very end of a gravel road in the middle of the mountains where my little log cabin with a fire heated spa on the deck awaited. Surrounded by only mountains and animals and experiencing the most happiness I've ever known. Being able to step outside and venture into the mountains almost daily made me think I had found one of the most perfect spots in the world. My dogs would come everywhere with me, whether it was to the grocery store or on a 3 hour road trip to one of our many hikes. Road trips that always filled me with awe as the most breathtaking scenes were found literally around every bend. Then painting murals in the animal shed as I consumed far too many energy drinks and wondering how the fuck I was being paid to do something I loved so much. When winter came so did darkness but with more beauty then I can describe. A van trip that pushed me more than ever before, one that brought new lessons as I climbed new peaks. The emotions of witnessing the aurora which is by far the most magical thing I've ever witnessed. Countless nights staying awake as my fingers went numb, waiting to see if the sky would come alive. Moving North to old cute stables where I would greet 20 horses in the morning and put them out in the snow. Where you could chuck some snow shoes on and walk into the mountains to find a lake, ready to drill a hole in and go ice fishing. Where bonfires with burnt sausages became a common activity and at night I'd walk outside to watch a dancing sky as my fingers went numb. Meeting travelers from around the world to trade stories with and if they were brave enough, to get in the arctic waters with. Riding beautiful warmbloods in the snow and chatting to friendly horse owners as we watched the most picturesque sunsets. Going running beside the water in such cold temps that my body would be numb, giving me the ability to run further than I'd expect. Waking up to scenes that some people don't even know exist, unsure of how I'd become this lucky.
My little mate Tussi, she deserves her own paragraph. Fuck, she deserves her own book. That dog has been an overwhelmingly precious part of Norway. I can't begin to think of what this year would have looked like without her. She has been there in my hardest times and she has joined me for almost every peak, usually just the two of us, stunned every time by what our eyes were seeing. We became inseparable from the beginning and there was no where I would go without her. I didn't know a dog could become so much of me but she has really been more than I can explain. I hope that I remember every quirky thing about her (and her little tongue). How much she made me laugh, how she stuck by my side wherever we went. She came fishing with me, hiking, camping, skiing and gave me cold night van snuggles when my mood was low. That dog touches every one she meets. Always so excited to get in my car and was so gentle when meeting new people but explosive when she knew you. The biggest attention seeker ever but full of an unmatched amount of love. So many of my moments were shared with her and made better by her being there. I got so incredibly lucky to find myself on a farm with such a precious dog that very quickly became the best shadow. I'm so grateful I will get to spend my last few days with her and although leaving her is fucking hard, she is in a home full of so much love and a place I know will always be my home too. I only wish she knew what she has done and meant for me over the last year.
When I hopped on that plane 1 year ago I had little expectations and just a big yearning for adventure. Well that was the best decision I could have made because fuck it's been a good ride. I have experienced 4 crazy seasons, been left speechless by the northern lights, unable to sleep by the midnight sun, ridden in snow, skied and camped on beautiful mountains, surfed in the arctic waters, fallen in love with every animal I've met, gone on so many road trips, painted numerous murals and just lived. This is it, this is life and it's fucking incredible. I feel like this year has it's own little place in my heart. I cant believe the amount of pinch me moments I have experienced. To wake up almost every day with an unbelievable view no matter where I am. To feel so happy in these vast mountains but to learn my limit of time alone. I've pushed myself in new ways and now have a whole new relationship with my brain. I mean, I'm a couple of glasses of wine deep and reminiscing the shit out of the last 12 months right now but I couldn't be happier or thinking more positively. To leave a place when I'm at my highest point just leaves me so grateful to be alive, so grateful to be able to do the things that I've done, to have had all these new experiences. I can't wait to go home, to see all my favourite people and to return the best version of me yet. I can't wait to create fresh dreams and to continue growing. Last time I travelled I felt like I grew but this is something completely different, now I feel like I know my place in the world, like I know who I am and I belong here. I'm fucking ready to spread every ounce of positivity I have and to see just how much more I can achieve. I have a good sense in how I want to live my life and the level of experiences I can have. Norway has opened new doors of possibilities in my brain. I want to remember this, I want to get this down in words as best I can, I want to remind myself in the future that life is what you make it and these euphoric moments exist. I want to continue being fearless when chasing any crazy dream my brain can imagine, because fuck living any other way. I want to remember it all, to pack it into a snow globe and be able to return to this exact feeling every time I shake it. Norway, the land of so much more than any words I could write.
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