#every time I log on there's more y'all are incredible

[galoogamelady]

ooo i wanna attack u so bad (please, i ask you kindly ma'am, give me your artfight account contact, so that i may peruse your selection of characters which you have set up for others to attack) (also, thanks)

I'm just Galoo over there!

I have so many wonderful attacks to go through already! No wonder I'm almost always on the losing team lol

[evieelyzabethh]

Can I request modern au viktor dating headcanons (perhaps streamer au where viktor is dating streamer reader) 👉👈

streamerau!Viktor whose girlfriend starts out as a relatively small creator. Your streams don't get a lot of reach, but it's never bothered you much anyway. You did it more for the passion of gaming rather than making serious money off it. Your set up had been customized and built prior to the idea of even getting a twitch account, you already had countless hours logged into your Minecraft and Sims 4 worlds, as well as having a pretty lengthy collection of games all on your own

streamerau!Viktor who is the reason you even start. One day, he jokingly teased that with how many hours and how much money you had put into your hobby, you might as well try and make some money off it. He's very aware of what it takes to go viral, a pretty face, and you have the prettiest one he's ever seen. He is also quite confident in your skills to go viral. You have the personality, you have the skills, you have the knowledge. He's not even a gamer himself and he still enjoys watching you play and hearing all the interesting fun facts and history that you know about.

streamerau!Viktor who is such a visual opposite to his girlfriend. Part of the differences are played up for the camera, the comically pink and purple set up, the light-up headphones, even the type of content you create, spending less time in COD lobbies and more on cheap cozy games on Steam. He hardly ever steps into your recording office, fearing his tall, lanky, and dark demeanor may come off as some creepy ghost in the corner of your pastel-led room.

This isn't to say you only play those games, but that is simply what gets the views and is the least hostile space. When you do venture out of the typical cozy game aesthetic, it typically adventure puzzle games, like Tomb Raider or Uncharted, or maybe a story-based horror game like Mouthwashing or Until Dawn. In the very early days of your streaming adventure, you and Viktor would play vintage games from your collection, like Mario Kart or Mortal Kombat on your N64 or Sonic on your Sega Genesis. Once you start getting traction, he asks for them to be deleted. He's doesn't want his face all over the internet nor his reactions.

streamerau!Viktor who is quite aggressive when he plays games. He is the first to get loud, the first to blame the controller, the first to claim his screen was lagging and that's why he lost. He is a bit of a sore loser. He also just isn't a fan of games that don't require some sort of skill or technique. He hates luck-based games, or games that depend heavily on rng. Y'all played the first FNAF game ONCE and he lost it because Chica hung around the door so he couldn't open it to alleviate his battery usage and was incredibly pissed when he lost because of that.

streamerau!Viktor who is more into more card games (my personal headcanon is that he is a great Spades partner) but still tunes into every single one of your streams. He thinks it's funny to leave very obvious 'pro-tips' like "don't mine at night with nothing but a wood sword" or "maybe try killing the creepers" or "next time, you should do a back flip off the ledge". Though he doesn't play with you, he does get alluded to in passing, typically by Grim rather than his actual name. The nickname came from one of your Sims streams where you laughed about how much your boyfriend looked like the Grim Reaper and then everyone started calling him that until it eventually got shortened to just Grim. At some point, someone dug through the archives to try and find him. The old streams were long gone at this point, but Viktor had somehow snuck into the corner of a few videos.

Speaking of which, Shadow Man Viktor definitely became a meme on the internet after he was spotted, specifically to that one Berleezy audio (IT IS HOT AS HELL IN THIS FUNKY ASS, HOT ASS ROOM IM IN...IS THAT THE GRIM REAPER???). He doesn't find out about it until you tell him. Viktor is thoroughly not a social media guy; he often gets confused when you make internet references on the stream and asks about what they mean later. That or he quietly texts you "I'm employed, what does that mean?" He never moved over to shorter form content when Vine and TikTok got really popular, and he definitely brags about having a longer attention span because of it. He would be more annoyed with the whole ordeal if his face wasn't obscured, but you can't tell who he is by the low-quality stills. This being said, your followers anxiously await the heavily teased boyfriend reveal.

[as-is-above-so-below]

Cardigan - John Price x F!Teacher!Reader

Part 2: Midnight Rain

summary: you get yourself in a pickle a/n: hi! I return again! I'm sorry it's short, but I'm trying a new method of posting. Instead of aiming for a specific word count (which leads to me getting writer's block and not posting ANYTHING), I write until I'm satisfied with what I'm trying to achieve. Hopefully, I've achieved that goal, and y'all like it :) Blessed be! << Previous | Next >>

You drummed your fingers against the notebook in your lap and gnawed on the top of your pen. It was late, even by your standards; the sun had long since set, and dinner eaten hours ago. But you were up, sitting in the dark in your living room, heavy rain pelting your old windows. You were trying to pull together a new lesson plan for the following day. A few curious students had started asking questions about the modern military. Like, key differences between military strategies used in the time they were studying and today. And, of course, yet again, you made promises that you were struggling to keep. And you always keep your promises to your students.

Fuck.

The internet wasn’t helping at all. You didn’t study military strategy in any of your courses. Was that even a thing?

The last thing you wanted to do was call him. You were so confident that you could solve your problem yourself, at nine o’clock. Now, it was past midnight, and you were absolutely desperate.

Fuck.

Before your tired brain can flood with guilt and change its mind, you grab your phone from your nightstand and tap into your recent calls log. Your stomach churned, anxiety bubbling up with every trill. God, it’s so fucking late to be calling. It felt like you were split in two. One half of you was praying that his phone was on silent (you know it’s not) or he’ll sleep through the ringing (he won’t), while the other–the miserable, exhausted half–needed him to pick up.

The latter won out.

“Y/N? Are you alright?”

John’s deep, sleepy voice made you feel guilty and incredibly happy that you’d woken him up. Soft and grumbly, rolling in his chest; it made you feel soft and warm inside…

Not the point of the call.

“Hi, John. I’m completely fine, I just…” You took a deep breath, the heel of your free hand pressed into one of your dry, worn-out eyes. “I know you’re this big important captain, and you have work in the morning, but I’m in a bit of a pickle and need a massive favor.”

There was a slight rustling on the other end like he had turned slightly to check the nearby time. “It’s one o’clock in the morning, love,” he mumbled.

You felt even worse. “I know, I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me,” you begged, running a hand over the top of your head. “One of my kids asked about the military. It sparked a whole discussion in class, and I may have overstated my knowledge. I barely know anything about it, and my brain is turning to mush. I’m so tired I wanna cry, and-”

He quickly cut off your rambling. “Woah, hey. Slow down there. What’s going on?” he asked, suddenly sounding much more awake. 

That brought you pause. You honestly hadn’t thought what you would ask if John actually answered the phone through. It was one o’clock in the morning, which John had correctly pointed out, and your brain wasn’t operating at full capacity. 

“I was…wondering if you could give me a lesson. Because I’m super tired, and I like to hear you talk.”

“…You do?”

“Yeah. I’ve learned a lot from you just…talking to me? But I’m a history teacher. I’m an expert on wars, not war.”

There was some shuffling on the phone. On the other line, John was leaning over the edge of his bed, searching blindly for his little pocket planner in the pile of clothes on the floor. The rustling stopped when he placed the device on his pillow, rifling through the calendar. He sniffed and was quiet for a moment, while you nibbled anxiously at your pen. Again.

The silence finally broke with a tired sniffle from John. “I can do you better. Why don’t I come to your classes tomorrow?” he asked.

You froze, pen still between your teeth. John? Coming to your school? Spending the day with your students? That would be the equivalent of introducing your boyfriend to your children. 

“…Really?”

“Sure.”

Could you even call him your boyfriend? You’d been on a few dates, sure, over the last…two months? No, it was closer to three. Had it been that long already? You did some quick math in your head. You’d gone on about one date a week, with a few canceled due to last-minute commitments. Still, about one date a week, over three months…

Holy shit.

“John, I’m sure you’re busy. I couldn’t-”

“Not at all,” he hummed, cutting you off. “Besides, it would take me ‘til class tomorrow to give you a good enough rundown, and the boss loves shite like this.”

“I thought you were the boss?”

You could practically hear a small smile tugging at John’s lips. The expression was a familiar one. The corner of his mouth quirked up, shifting his beard and creating happy wrinkles near his eyes. His nose would scrunch up a bit, too, especially if you were out in cold weather. 

“Everybody has a boss, sweetness. Myself included.”

Christ. Not the pet names. And especially not in the tired, gravelly tone his voice was currently in. John Price was going to be the death of you, even in his unfocused state.

You unfolded your legs from underneath you and moved your notebook onto the coffee table. Your resolve was fading, and you couldn’t be bothered to argue. While you did feel bad about dragging John to your school to fix the problem you created, you weren’t sure you had any other option. Accept defeat? To a group of teenagers? Absolutely not. You’d never live it down. You sighed, rubbing tiredly at your eyes. “If you’re sure…”

“I am.”

A soft smile crossed your face. “Is this just a ploy to meet my kids?”

“Maybe.”

Your sleepy giggles were like music to John’s ears. The sound alone was worth the favor. As if he wouldn’t have done it anyway, just to ease your stress. He would take any and every opportunity to make your day easier or make you happy. What he wouldn’t give to hear that laugh in person, laying beside you in your bed–

No. John’s a good man. A gentleman, he would say. A man who was perfectly capable of not acting on his urges and thoughts. At least, not in person. However, in the privacy of his own home? That was a different story.

“Thank you so much, John.”

Right. You’re still on the phone. He heard a soft click on your end of the call.

“That’d better be you closing your laptop, I’m hearing.”

“It is.”

“Good girl.” You blushed furiously. Fuck. “Get some sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight.”

taglist: @novausstuff, @cutiecusp, @ittosbigfatmantitties, @helpimhyperfixating, @hihhasotherfixations, @dugiioh, @glitterypirateduck, @cringeycookies, @lethalchiralium

Copyright © 2023 as-is-above-so-below. All rights reserved.

[jensensfanfic]

CAM GIRL

pairing: modern!ellie x camgirl!reader

a/n: so nervous to post this. i didn't want to write a full fic, so this hc kinda thing happened. anyways, lmk what you think...

warnings: smut. mdni. -> sex work via live cam/stream. onlyfans/patreon/etc - no site is stated specifically, stripping, toys, masturbation (reader & ellie), exhibitionism, toys, toy riding (reader), strap-on use, dirty talk, hints of dom!reader, even smaller hints of dom!ellie

[dialogue = purple for ellie, blue for reader]

—★•°°•☆°••°★•°°•☆°••°★—

thinking about ellie dating a girl who cams...

—

"ellie, i wanna be really clear with you about what i do before we... you know?" "date?" "yeah. i just don't want any secrets where my job is concerned."

imagine her reaction when you first tell her. the way her eyes were half intrigue, half envy. on one hand, she thought it was incredible; the confidence you had in your own body and what to do with it. on the other hand, the confession from you caused her to grow more possessive. she felt almost sick, knowing that people all over the world were logging in to their profiles with only you in mind.

but that was at the beginning. after several months, pride swelled within her. you were making a lot of money through your sessions online, made clear by the fancy clothing, lingerie, even the apartment you'd bought for yourself. she could also tell that you enjoyed what you did. it made you feel confident and beautiful, and those feelings bled through to your sex life with ellie.

"fuck, i love your tits so much. love seein'm all beg to touch." "but only you can, els. c'mere and get them all wet with your pretty mouth."

"mm, babe, you like watching my ass when i fuck my toys, don't you?"

sometimes she worried about 'trolls', but you reassured her that you had a few moderators who would bat away any unsavoury comments before you could see them.

"see? if anyone says anything overly disgusting or offensive, it gets removed." "ever had to report or block anyone?" "mm, only a handful of creeps have made my blacklist."

then it was a couple of years into your relationship, and nine out of ten times when you were cam-ing, ellie would come over, either by yours or her own invitation.

"i'm live in 20, you can come over if you're quiet." "and what happens if i'm not?" "you wanna find out?"

"hey, i'm bored, you live? can i watch;)"

she loved to watch you, and you absolutely revelled in it. even your regular viewers had started noticing how you seemed to be even more enthusiastic than before. you wanted to impress ellie, despite already knowing how much she desired you.

when ellie came over during a cam session, you would make sure to put in the most effort with your look for the night. you would wear ellie's favourite colours, slap on a little extra makeup, and put on your best show.

"you were on fire tonight, princess."

"do you have glitter in your cleavage!?"

"you should do the war paint more often. it's hot."

"fake tattoos tonight?" "yeah, it was a request from a my best tipper... you like?" "hurry up and i'll show you how much i do."

ellie would be just out of shot, laying back against the pillows on your bed, one leg crossed over the other. she could never take her eyes off of you. she adored how you changed your voice just slightly on camera; still confident, but with an edge of shyness.

"y'all like the lace tonight, hm? i'm not quite sure if it suits me... tell me what you think, should i keep it or..."

her eyes travelled all over your body as you danced along to the beat of whatever song was playing gently in the background. and then, when it had been a few minutes into your show, and dollar signs started popping up on your screen, you reached for whatever item of clothing you were going to slowly, torturously remove. from that moment on, she was locked on you, following every glide of your fingertips over the straps of you bra, the soft material of your panties, or the thin lace stockings.

ellie always praised you for a good show when it was over. and whenever toys were used, she'd clean them for you, and on the occasion that you actually came for real after using said toys, she would offer to clean you up too. she'd bring you warm pyjamas and a hot drink and mentally congratulate herself for pushing away the urge to jump you after what felt like hours of teasing.

"god, that was so hot."

"you need water? your favourite snacks are on the side over there, too."

"els, help me up out of this mess, please. ugh, the fake spunk is so sticky." "wanna take a shower? maybe create some real mess?"

sometimes, she couldn't hold back, though. on most cam nights, she would be clenching her thighs and biting her lip, watching you with a wetness forming on her boxers. but she couldn't always hold back from touching herself. she'd watch you lifting your tits into full view of the camera, squeezing them and giggling at the comments that followed. then you'd push them together, wait a moment for more tips and then start to pinch at your hard nipples.

"mm, yeah, feels so good. should i pinch harder? want me to lick them for you darlings?"

eventually, inevitably, she'd end up sliding one hand into her underwear, the other fisting the sheets. as you bounced up and down on one of your silicone cocks, moaning out appreciations for the tips that flooded in on the screen, she'd reach her throbbing clit. her gaze would be glued to your slick hole that wept around the toy as you moved, and she'd match your rhythm on the toy with the circles she traced on herself.

when you first saw her doing this, you weren't surprised at all. in fact, it made you that much more smug and turned on, resulting in less of a need to fake your arousal for the people watching. you'd pretended to the camera that you were turning your head to bite your own shoulder, but in fact you were mouthing encouragements for her to fuck herself faster over a wink and a smirk.

"faster, babe. just like that."

"edge yourself, el. better not come until i'm done here."

then there was this one particular night. ellie had two of her fingers deep in her cunt, while you rode a thick, veiny fake cock that took several pumps of lube to sink down onto.

you'd bought it with only your girlfriend in mind. though, of course your viewers were impressed with it, too.

"ooh-oh-oh, i need it f-faster. you want me to go faster... huh loves? gonna need your help then."

it was her favourite colour, and you'd made sure it attached pefectly onto your shared strap harness. it also came with a companion toy that was a little smaller, but could also attach to the harness, so that ellie could have her own pussy stuffed as she - hopefully, if your little scenario panned out - pounded into you once the camera was off.

of course, this is exactly what happened. you couldn't stop trying to get a look at ellie as you heard her little pants. she was trying to stay as quiet as possible, and watching her slap a hand over her own mouth, muffling her pleasure as she got off to you, only made things worse. you sped up your movements for a few seconds, opening your mouth and letting out an exaggarated moan. you then licked your lips, smiling at the camera as floods of tips came in, a bunch of water emojis flickering on and off. you bid everyone goodnight, promising to be back again the night after next, then ended the session.

"fuuuuuuck yes! mmmm!"

"fucked me so good. thank you, sweethearts. go grab yourselves some water and i'll see you next time. buh-bye, huns. mm."

then you turned to ellie, her hand stilled in her boxers. you slowly pulled out the toy and then pushed it all the way back in with a groan. you watched ellie's eyes flash at the obscene wet sounds your pussy made. once more you pull the glistening toy out, so slowly that it draws out impatient whines from the both of you. you rub the head of the toy around your folds, spreading the glistening wetness all around your waiting entrance.

"did you come, babe?" "uh uh, saving it all for you tonight, love."

"want you to fuck me so hard that i won't be able to move." "fuckin' hell. come here, now!" "need one more thing."

you reach down to your 'cam box' and take out two things. you first toss ellie the harness, which has the smaller cock attached, something you'd gotten ready earlier. then, you crawl between her already spread legs, and make a show of attaching the still-wet toy, your pussy clenching at the sight, greedy for it to be back inside you.

"put it on."

"was thinking about you filling me up the whole time tonight. need it now." "gonna do it. gonna make it so you can't stand."

several times after that night, you'd jokingly discussed ellie joining you on your site.

"if you made me gush like that on live, we'd make so much, d'yuh know that?" "maybe, but i don't want anyone else seeing you like that. all fucked out and dribbling from you gorgeous little pussy. no, baby. that's a show only i get to watch."

—★•°°•☆°••°★•°°•☆°••°★—

if you're after more modern!ellie x cam girl!reader ->

CAM GIRL DRABBLE (ellie helps you film)

CAM GIRL: SPECIAL GUEST (part 2)

[souliebird]

I'm so sorry that the appreciation for your stories isn't reaching you as it should. I'm just now beginning to understand better ways to support my favorite writers, but now I know reblogs and genuine comments are my best bet at telling y'all how much I love your stories 💗

So (and I'm sorry if this is too long lol), I'll tell you some of my fav things about ATIMY! I'd love for you to continue the story, but as a writer, I understand the need to pause and re-think if its really what you want —specially when one feels like you do rn 🫂

1. I absolutely, and I cannot describe this enough, the background and personality of Reader. She's raw, and I honestly think that's the best word I can describe this story with. It's my favourite thing about it too! Reader is so incredibly emotional to read, her anxiousness is palpable and it's strangely soothing to go through. I see pieces of myself reflected in her, but its written so smoothly and realistically, as one would talk to themselves, that the anxiety portrayed by her ends up soothing mine in a way lmao

2. I cannot stress this enough too, but MINNIE!! That bundle of joy was something I didn't know I needed, but I craved ever since I discovered. The idea of Matt being a father is so surprising, and new, and exciting! I remember reading chapters where both Foggy and Matt pondered over the idea —they were so right to think it'd lead Matt to better. You found a way of making a plot device —the classic tough man protecting himself more finally, because of his girls — so pure and wholesome in Minnie, and I love her character so much I now see her in everuy bubbly toddler on the market 💞

3. And most of all, and because I've never written an ask before so idk how long this can be —the clear thought and love to the plit you've poured into it. I'm tired of people writing Matt or any character purely because he's...idk, hot? I've never found such a complex and beautiful story about him like yours. It nexes romance, but also the giddiness of bonding with your child, AND it's written through various POV's that connect MANY arcs to the story? This is a GEM, and I find myself expecting far more than just Reader's and Matt's interactions. I'm excited reading Minnie's chapter, or where the Sokovian Accords arc is going to lead us to. Orrr, the risks of Minnie and her powers, already different from Matt's 👀

You may've noticed by now English isn't my first language haha. I'm sorry if I didn't get to explain myself clearly. But the point is, I'm sorry for not showing the love more, in name of everyone.

You created the reason I started logging on tumblr every day to check for updates. We love this story, and I just hope we can help you make you fall in love with it again too ❤️‍🩹

Apologies that it took a few days to get to this, I'm not in a good headspace rn.

I don't plan to stop writing, even if my only motivation is to prove to myself I can finish this story.

Thank you for all the kind words. I'm glad people can relate to Reader. I feel like I get mixed reactions sometimes, so I'm glad my over thinking everything isn't a hinder to the story.

I'm glad ppl like Minnie. I know ppl do not like kid fics and don't like original kids much, so I'm glad the feedback for her is so positive.

I have a lot of controversial opinions about how ppl write Matt, so thank you for thinking I write him well. Thank you for sharing you enjoy all my plots and care about the Sokovia stuff.

I've put a lot of research and hours into making sure everything lines up correctly and I hope I do it justice.

Again thank you for sending this. I've reread it multiple times, trying to tell myself you aren't just saying nice things bc I complained. I'm amazed I haven't gone and deleted all my posts talking about my insecurities bc I have severe anxiety and would rather pretend I don't exist and isolate myself than bother anyone.

I 10000% believe I annoy ppl when I mention feeling self doubt or disappoint in feedback bc my fics are generally well received. I do get comments and kudos and likes when others don't, so I feel like a horrible person whose bragging if I mention a dip in feedback, bc I'm getting it in the first place. Like shut up, Soulie, and be grateful ppl are even reading your slop.

Anyways, thank you. The words help.

[magpies4nights]

21, Falling Down the Stairs (Dev log #16)

Well, it’s been an uneventful 2 weeks since I’ve last updated y’all. I’ve completely finished the computer thing I showed y'all last time, teehee. I'm not gonna say what exactly it is but there's a good route and a bad route, I guess you could say lol. I also made some more sprites because it made me really mad. Therapy <3333

Scale Dummy core teehee

I still haven't figured out the optimizing thing though, because every tip I could find was for 3d stuff, and the 2d questions would always be "answered" with "why do you need culling for a 2D game? It has less data." THIS SCENE IS SO HEAVY MY COMPUTER CRASHES WHEN IT'S NOT IN THE EDITOR, AND IT'S FROM 2019!!! THAT'S NOTHING IN AGE!!!! Wait, is it something??? I don't even know anymore god how long ago was 2019?? Arg.

(AI disturbance overlay from: https://www.tumblr.com/arson-jellyfish69/750555399114080256/put-these-on-the-top-layer-above-everything-set)

But anyways, I'm pretty sure if I got a brand spanking new computer and I ran that puppy on the computer it would start coughing and dying. I've also been thinking of updating the demo again, because I kinda feel bad that it's been left untouched since like May, and some things have changed. Maybe mid June???? July???? I don't know. I'll definitely change the secret room, because I realized if people discovered it by now, they probably are walking into the walls and not realizing it because they are invisible, I remember once I was showing one of my friends that room and she did that and I had to help her. I am top 10 game designers, I know /j

...Anyways, I can't think up on references right now, my brain is mush LMAO. however, since it's pride month...

Yeah, we got the pride flags out. Huah. (not a ship. They're related and Priyah is a minor)

I would have put my headcannons for the cannon GASA4AM:SC characters but They're pretty much popular headcannons sooooo, yeah. lmao. I also kinda don't feel like drawing anymore right now.

Well, I don’t know if I can talk about my life anymore. It’s for personal reasons, honestly. All I can really say is that the weather has been crazy, there was a time when the region I lived in had no power for several hours because of a storm, and that I started summer classes. They are pretty hectic, I'm not gonna lie. I ended up with health problems, AGAIN, so now I'm eating the world's most blandest foods until I'm in better shape. Which honestly I'm thinking it's when they end and I'm guaranteed passing grades (I'd be so happy if I get 70's). I wish I could say what’s on my mind, but right now I can’t. I honestly don’t know when I can again. It’s not for professionalism, I honestly doubt my future employers will somehow link this back to me, as much as I feel like people will try to dig up my past and my present. I'm thinking though once I'm done with this fan game I might have have to stop making games under this name, as gut wrenching as that is. I had to come to that realization, I was incredibly disappointed, trust me. I've been thinking on this since March when my dad was mad at me but if I want to make money, I'll have to go under a different name. I'll see you there when I crossed that bridge though, I'm not going anytime soon with the way this fan game is going LMAOOOO.

[heereandthere]

So. I'm Alive! (Life Update)

I logged onto this account to try and find something I remembered having buried in my drafts, and since this thing feels kind of like a time capsule to my time as a teenager, I felt like it was semi-appropriate to do a life update since the last time I was here.

When I used this account, I was between 15 and 16 years old, and I am now 20! Holy shit! I'm like. An adult-adult, and that's still completely bonkers to me. I used this account BEFORE THE PANDEMIC. The person who created this Tumblr just outright does not exist anymore and that's INSANE.

Not only am I a proper adult, but I'm also a COLLEGE JUNIOR. I'm so proud to tell you all that I am, in fact, studying theatre and theatre performance on a professional level. I'm the secretary for the theatre-based fraternity on campus and am currently president-elect leading up to the election we'll be doing at the next meeting when the current president steps down. I'm also a part of the theatre for young audiences program as an actor, in beginning rehearsals for my second year with them, and am slated to perform in both mainstage shows this semester (out of the 10 shows we've put on or are planning to put on since I came here, I've been cast/performed in 7!). And on top of all that, I'm slated to be performing in SCOTLAND in the foreseeable future! I'm a busy bee!!

Personal life has been kind of a clusterfuck, mostly courtesy of the pandemic. But I don't really want to focus on a very, VERY dark part of my life other than telling you all that I've finally gotten much-needed diagnoses and coping skills. My obsessive-compulsive ass got and will likely try to continue to be counseled, y'all! It's still an uphill battle, but I'll fight it until I take my last breath. :) I mean, hell, I got the motivation to CLEAN today! If that's not indicative of improvement considering what a mess my room has looked like for the past two years, I don't know what is!

I'm also very proud to report that I have a friend group I feel very accepted and comfortable in. It took a very long time for me to find my "people", and I really think I have here; the theatre department has been so kind and welcoming, and I really do love and cherish the people I work with. Several of them are graduating next semester, which is DEVASTATING, but I know they're all going to do amazing things. I wouldn't trade a single one of them for the world. The same goes for every single one of my non-theatre friends, for though they be few, I would do anything for each and every one of them. They've collectively made this whole "growing up" business so much easier to cope with.

Finally, and I make a point to talk about this because it changed my life so much, Be More Chill is now a chapter in my life I've left in the past. I still love the musical dearly, but it's become a part of my personal history rather than my current obsession and I've made my peace with that. It and musical theatre will always be a huge part of me (obviously, since theatre is my chosen profession), yet my interests have and will continue to change. That's life, baby!

And I want to cap this off by saying, if you paid any mind to this blog at any point, thank you. Thank you for indulging in a really weird journey piloted by a really weird teenager and thank you for paying mind to this post by an equally weird but better adjusted adult. I made this blog when I was at an incredibly low point in my life and having gone through the drafts and seen the unsent posts I wrote about what I was going through, I've made it... so insanely far since the last time I was here.

After a lot of hemming and hawing, I really do think it's finally time to let this blog rest, even though I already haven't touched it for quite some time. I'm still active on Tumblr, though, so if you're interested in getting back in touch or reading some new fic I've been working on for Good Omens, you can find me over at @antiquarianandunusual. You can also find me on AO3 under the same name, or Twitter as AmazingMrFell.

With that said, time for teenage me to rest easy. We made it, bestie. :)

~Heere (Sam)

[youngster-monster]

everytime i look back at my own anon asks they get longer and i feel like im writing an essay except the essay is hyperfixation fueled rambling . does that mean anything i WILL get my wow lore from you i HAVE been getting my wow lore from you and there is nothing that any gamer alive can do to stop me because i have more free time than i should be allowed to have and an obsession for two dead gay elves. i think about them every single day and i think that this can be accredited to you, ELVES???? IN MY MULTI-MASSIVELY ONLINE ROLEPLAYING GAME???????? MANY OF THEM??? AND THEYRE COMPETENT TOO?????? oh man oh god i (i am shoveling everything on my desk into a suitcase) i dunno if i (i am hauling my computer and monitors into a comically enormous suitcase that is far larger than the contents would require) dunno if i can (searching "FINAL FANTASY XIV DOWNLOAD") i dont know if i can play that g- okay for real though i May In Fact Download FFXIV . i am scared of games i know nothing about because Uh brain sucks but youve convinced me by setting up one of those stick and box animal traps with promise of elves as the bait. i now get to message my sister who has also been hitting me with ffxiv copypasta and tell her i am interested PLEASE please please i would literally do anything to see subs tank so that they have no choice but to kick illidan out of space hell and by extension kael and vashj too so they can be mean to eachother and have the banter i so crave. to me their banter is what mana addiction is to the high elves. i miss them every single day my brother actually found out about the gay elves when i left wow open on my computer ("what relevance does that have?" you know how you can name your wow character almost anything? yeah so i have this thing where i physically cannot stop myself from testing if ship names are available for use on any game i play and uhm. youll never guess what i was testing on wow right then and there) which is tragically positioned in such a way that it is visible to the entire room and when he saw it he looked so disappointed but in no way surprised whatsoever

the time that i have to message you approaches very quickly because the ask length is getting Worse. it is getting So Bad. my deepest condolences that you have to sift through this whole thing i just have so many things to say at any given time

frankly this reminds me of my old forums days. did y'all ever do that thing where you made a friend on a forum and instead of exchanging numbers (no mobile phone) or skype contacts you'd just exchange novel-length private messages? emails with extra steps.

i am so sorry for the dead elves brainrot. it will get worse.

me 🤝 your sister Come Play FFXIV. They Are Extending The Free Trial In October. You Cannot Escape The Elves

it's actually a good game too especially once you make it past base game! as a wow player i found it pretty easy to get into after a quick period of adaptation ( < forged in the crucible of wotlk-era wow)

i just KNOW the outland trio has some incredibly comedic AND tragic potential with their banter and blizzard is KEEPING IT FROM US.

everyday hapless brothers are subjected to their sibling's dead gay elves obsession.... and it will happen again. when we're in the same room i often ask my brother random wow lore questions and he answers me immediately before going (extremely suspicious) "why. is this for a fanfic." yes it is now tell me more about coastal cities in the eastern kingdom for this throwaway line im trying to write

i also cannot shut the fuck up and i love attention and friendship so i'm having a blast personally 😌 everyday i log on and go "ah :) got a new message from my Secret Connection" like we're two spies in the 17th century corresponding through letters folded under a rock

[msmarvelwrites]

For Old Times' Sake

Summary: “Years you had craved to hear your name spoken from his lips. Countless nights, forcing yourself to remember how it fell from his tongue,”

Pairing: TFATWS Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Angst, Explicit sexual content, Vaginal penetration, fingering, Choking, Bucky with the filthy words, mutual pining.

Word Count: 2.8K

Authors Note: WOW! It has literally been a hot minute hasn't it? I cant say that I’m not a little excited about this 3rd lock-down in Ontario because it means I can actually find time to write. I’m sorry it’s been so long, babes. Anyways, enjoy! (I’m actually the worst and it’s been so long since I’ve done this!) The Biggest Thank You to @sweeterthanthis for literally cheering me on the entire time. This was such garbage before you came along 😂 I had so much fun with this one babe 💕 thank you for all you do ✨

The wind whipped against your face, bruising your skin with it’s callousness. Though the unwelcomed lash was nothing compared to what was to come. Or who, for that matter. 

It had been longer than you cared to admit. The dodged calls hanging at the bottom of the icon on your phone serving as a cruel reminder of how cold you had been. Of course, it was never in your job description to take care of Bucky after Steve left— but there was an implication that made you run for the hills. 

You couldn't do anything for him - give him anything. The last five years had consisted of running and trying to start over. 

Besides, after the Accords, in the government's eyes you were just as fucked as Hydra. An ally turned fugitive the moment you’d chosen your side in that airport. You’d fight with yourself most nights that you decided with your head, but your first evening with a man who had bruised your lips with promises of what would come may have had more pull than anything else. 

The same man that had called you every week for the past six months… The same man you had spent countless nights with, years of your life you would never be able to scrub away, no matter how hard you tried. 

You had watched from afar as half of the world returned, their loved ones welcoming them home with teary eyes and broken hearts. You watched as he came home. His eyes, always scanning the crowds waiting for you. Waiting to see your face. 

It made all of this so, so much worse. This was definitely not the homecoming you could have hoped for. 

“We’re nearing the drop.” Your comm’s rang with a woman's voice who had helped smuggle you onto the craft. You weren’t exactly welcome in europe at the moment- or anywhere for that matter. The government did not take lightly to your’s and Sharon’s betrayal. You’d think that after everything the world had seen they would be a little more forgiving, but you couldn't exactly blame them for their trust issues either. 

You could, however, blame yourself. 

As soon as your feet hit the ground you were off. The distress call had come from Sam earlier that evening and now with the sun setting you could only hope you weren't too late. You tried to push the man who had haunted your thoughts for the past few years out of your head, desperate to focus on the task at hand. 

Bullets exploded through the air, a warning as you were approaching the large shipping container unit. Your comms went static as they began to connect with Sam’s, his voice ringing through your ears as—

“Sam, a little help here!” 

His voice stopped you dead in your tracks. 

“I’m on my way - called in some back up.” Sam grunted as the sound of strangled yelps echoed around you. 

“Back up? Who do we know that-” Bucky’s words were cut short as he let out a growl, the sound of his vibranium arm whirling in the background. 

You rushed in without a second thought, the sound of his pain too raw as it ripped through your chest. Before you could assess the danger, you charged forward, hurling yourself at a large man pointing his gun right at- 

With a loud thud, the man hit the ground. Your combat boot, heavy on his throat until he went still, and with it came silence. It was deafening despite the explosive gunfire around you. 

“Y/n?” 

Your name ripped through the air, but you couldn't bring yourself to meet his gaze. Back turned and body rigid, you were frozen in place. Years you had craved to hear your name spoken from his lips. Countless nights, forcing yourself to remember how it fell from his tongue, soft and get so personal. Like no one had spoken it before. 

“Y/n, what are you-”

Sam's voice cut the newly cropped brunettes words off,  “I got two coming in on your left, Buck. Oh- and welcome back, Y/L/N.” 

You smiled sheepishly at Bucky, pulling your gun from its holster and flicking the safety off as you closed your distance with him. Despite the aggravation apparent on his face, a broken smile seemed to be pulling at the corners of his lips. 

“Here we go again, huh?”  You chimed, your eyes locking with his just as all hell broke loose. 

The trip back to Sam and Bucky’s base was one filled with uncomfortable silence, and a tension that had your blood running cold. 

Once the adrenaline of the fight had worn off and you were left face to face with Bucky Barnes, the guilt began to creep in. 

“So…” Sam started from the backseat of the beat-up truck, the suddenness of his words startling both you and Bucky for a moment. “Long time no see.” 

The scoff that left Bucky’s lips wasn't as subtle as you imagined he meant it to be. You tried not to let it bother you; in fact, you had prepared for this. How he might react when you finally returned home. What you weren't prepared for, however, was how indescribably gutted you would feel to watch him - eyes trained to the road ahead - as he gritted his teeth at your proximity. 

To say that yours and Bucky’s relationship before the snap was easy would be incredibly delusional. It was messy and at it’s best dysfunctional. But for whatever reason, the two of you looked beyond that. He saw through you like no one ever had and before you knew it, the two of you were glued at the hip. It didn't make sense, but no questions were ever asked. 

You just fit. 

And of course there was the sex. Good god, you could feel your thighs clenching at the thought. 

The way’s Bucky knew how to take you apart, with an accuracy that only he had. How he had your toes curling and body vibrating from the flick of his tongue. How he would have you screaming the most filthy things for him, all while begging to never ever—

“Y/n?” 

Sam’s voice was like an ice bath. Your name yanking you back into the present and the question at hand. What was the question again? You couldn't think straight. Not when Bucky was staring at you the way he was, one brow cocked and that same familiar smirk plastered on his lips. If you didn't know any better, you’d think he could read your thoughts. 

“Sorry- I… I was…” You couldn't seem to bring yourself back to this realm, too lost in the Super Soldier’s stormy eyes to remember what exactly you were trying to say. 

“He asked you where you’ve been, Y/n.” Bucky spoke your name like it was a curse, laced with razor sharp ache and pain. His eyes told a different story though. The way he looked at you; the same way he always did. 

With a warmth that only he had for you. It made you shiver. 

“Running, mostly.” You started, your body physically breaking your gaze with Bucky. It was too much, watching him glare down at you. And maybe you deserved it. 

“And you never thought to, I don't know, call me?” Bucky’s words were spiteful, oozing with a disdain that was beginning to wear down your patience. 

“It wasn't like that, Buck-”

“You can’t call me that anymore.” He snapped, his eyes trained on the road. Your gaze snapped to him, brow arched as you all but scoffed at him. 

“Oh, I can't?” You chuckled, but the sound came out flat. He had every right to ask you where you've been. Hell, get angry if he wanted. But the way his words seeped with disgust made your blood boil. 

“Okay, okay guys. Let’s all take a breath and just—”

“Shut up, Sam.” You both snarled, causing Sam to roll his eyes as Bucky pulled into a long winding driveway with a small log cabin sat at the end of it. You reached for your seatbelt until your door swung open. 

“You two figure your shit out. Whatever this is,” Sam motioned to the space between you two, “ isn’t leaving this car. I’ll be inside. Feel free to come in when y'all have killed and made up, okay?” With that, Sam slammed the door leaving Bucky and you alone in your static tension.

Bucky worried on his lip, his eyes trained to his lap. You opened your mouth to speak, but your words seemed caught in your throat. 

“You didn't even call…” 

It was so quiet, you almost didn't hear it. But you did… 

Voice small and so filled with ache; it kicked you in the stomach, the guilt washing away any anger you had felt. 

“Bucky… I- I couldn't.” You forced out, tentative as you met his gaze, stomach dropping as your eyes locked with his. 

“I thought I lost you. I thought - I mean, fuck - you were all I cared about.” He sighed, clearing his throat as if it would help ease his discomfort. “I looked for you, ya know?” He chuckled, but there was no warmth behind it. Just a brokenness that made you squirm. 

“It’s not your fault—”

“Oh, I know it’s not.” Bucky quipped, his eyes flicking away from yours and turning back to face the cabin. “It was your own selfish decision.” 

You scoffed, head snapping back to meet his glare. “Selfish? Bucky, I had no other choice. Not everyone can be pardoned for their crimes. It’s not like I had Steve Rogers advocating for my freedom!” 

Bucky only rolled his eyes, hands gripping the steering wheel so tight, you swore he might rip it clean off the car.  “Don’t bring him into this. You don't think that I would have done everything to get to you? To clear your name?”

You laughed bitterly, blinking away the tears that welled at the corners of your eyes. 

“You gotta at least give me more credit than that, Doll.” The pet name rolled off this tongue easily, washing over you, and making you freeze. 

“Please don’t call me that…” You faltered, wiping away a stray tear that rolled down your cheek. 

It seemed the tension dissipated in that moment, silence heavy between you both as Bucky reached out, his flesh fingers finding a tear and brushing it away. You tried to speak, but with everything that had been said, and all that would never be, you decided words just weren’t enough. 

You didn't have time to object before his lips were on yours, your body moving at its own accord as he pulled you onto his lap, your thighs either side of him as his tongue swept across your bottom lip. You tried to moan, but his mouth swallowed the sound. He rendered you breathless, his taste intoxicating as you melted into his embrace, grinding into him and shivering when a familiar growl slipped from his lips; vibrating against your mouth. 

“Fuck, I missed you.” You moaned out, clutching his jacket as you licked down his neck. His skin was burning against your lips, the rumble of his breath heavy against your ear as he let out a dark chuckle, urging you on. 

“Well, if you had just called me—” 

Before he could finish the sentence, you reached for the recliner, snapping it forward as you toppled forwards onto Bucky’s chest. His words fell back into his throat, hands automatically finding your hips to steady you while you fumbled with his belt. 

“Doll—” He tried to start, but you swallowed the name with your kiss, heated and rooted in a desperate need to feel him again. You ached for him in a way you’d never felt before. 

Maybe what you had was unfixable. Maybe it was beyond repair, but with the way he was kissing you and hiking down your pants, it didn't matter. You were drunk on him, and by the way he bucked his hips, so was he. 

You shivered as his vibranium fingers looped into the waistband of your panties, pulling them down over your legs as you both awkwardly tried to move in the cramped seat. You wanted to laugh, but as his cold thumb swiped through your slick folds, all you could do was whine. 

“So wet for me…” He hummed, teeth sinking into your throat as he pulled a whimper from your lips. 

You cursed, hands propping you up on either side of him as he dipped his index finger into you, the intrusion enough to have your back arching into him, desperate for more. 

But Bucky was a tease. And even now, after all of this time, it was the very thing that had your buckling above him. Pleading and begging for more.

“Look at you.” He started, his eyes dark as he pushed deeper inside, his finger curing into you as you gasped. 

“P-please, Buck.” You begged, grinding down onto his hand. To your dismay he only chuckled, watching intently as you came undone around him. 

“I told you,” He started, lifting you off of him and tossing you against the backseats, “Don’t call me that.” 

You couldn't help the giggle that bubbled out of your throat as he awkwardly crawled towards you. But the look in his eyes had your stomach twisting into something that emulated fear. It was guttural as he pressed into you, the outline of his cock digging into your drenched folds.

You bit back a moan, eyes rolling back in your head as his cold fingers brushed against your core, pulling himself free from his boxers. 

“Do you still love me like you did?”  He spoke, and though the words were soft and filled with promises you had broken before, there was a darkness in his voice. 

“I never stopped.” You admitted. And it was true. But that didn't seem to be the answer he was looking for as he licked his bottom lip, eyes trained on your throat. 

“I’m afraid isn’t gonna’ feel much like love, doll.” He breathed out, lining himself up with your entrance. Before you could speak, he thrusted into you, knocking the air out of your chest as he bent you uncomfortably in half. You could only scream as he caged you in, forcing you down against the seats as he fucked into you. 

It’s not like you forgot how Bucky filled you, but his size was something you would never be able by to fully adjust to. Especially not now, when he was holding you steady, his hips snapping against you giving you no time to ease into the assault. And by the looks of the lopsided smirk plastered on his swollen lips, he knew exactly how shredded you felt. 

“Fuck, you take me so good, sweetheart.” The pet name doing nothing to quell the ache he sent ripping through your body as he sank deeper into you. You could only cry out, head smashing into the door as he kept up his brutal pace. 

“B-Bucky, please.” You weren't exactly sure what you were asking for, but at this rate you wouldn't last long, the familiar coil building in your abdomen as he nudged up against your cervix. 

“Slow down, baby.” You choked on a sob, eyes glassy as his vibranium fingers coiled around you thoat, pining you to the seats.  

“Did you miss this part, doll?” He whispered against your ear, a shiver ripping through your body and igniting a flame you had so desperately craved since the moment he vanished from your world. “Miss the way I ruin you, Hm? I can feel you, coming undone. You’re so close, aren’t you?” he teased, pressing his fingers deeper into your throat until you were coughing around the pressure. 

“All I need to do is-” His flesh thumb ran circles against your clit, your eyes rolling back into your skull as you croaked out his name, begging him to ease up. “There it is.” He chuckled, quickening his pace until you were a shivering mess beneath him. 

“Bucky, I-” 

“I’m going to ruin this cunt, sweetheart. Stay still, and let go for me” His voice was like gravel, only letting you breathe once you nodded your head in complicity, pulling your bottom lip into your mouth as the orgasm wrapped itself around your core. 

“Fuck.” You managed to scream, your head lulling back as a title-wave of ecstasy crashed over you, pulling you under.

“That’s my girl.” His words tipped you over the edge, his name on your lips like a prayer as you quivered, your body violently shaking. “God you're so tight when you- Shit!” 

With a few sloppy thrusts, Bucky came undone. His hot spend coating your pulsing walls as he gasped. Your bodies a tangled mess as he puffed out a breath against your neck. 

You both just stayed frozen, too afraid that the moment you pulled away, reality would sink in. And the truth was, you weren't exactly sure what that meant. 

Bucky slowly eased himself out of you, gasping a little as you spilled out onto, what you only hoped, would be easy to clean seats.

 “Doll, that was-” 

“Hey,” Sam knocked hard against the now foggy glass, “You two hungry, or what?” 

[hwrryscherry]

The one where Harry and Model Y/N go undercover in the internet

characters: HARRYxMODELY/N

blurb: Harry and Model Y/N go undercover on the internet with fake accounts on TikTok and Instagram for an interview for GQ magazine on a video pre Grammys.

word count: 3.3K

HARRYxMODELY/N masterlist

author's note: HI GUYS! This is a request that I received a while ago but only finished it now because of school and all that stuff that I've told y'all a million times. Anyway, I tried my best on this request cause I think I lost my way of writing a little lol but anyway, I hope you like it and I hope that for the ones who misses Harry and Model Y/N this can be a great gift. Love y'all and thank you for the constant support and love on them💜 Stay Safe and Always remember to tpwk and that you're so golden💜💜💜

It was about 3 pm when you and Harry naturally came into the studio set on the building of GQ magazine with tender smiles on your faces covered by masks as you greeted everybody in the room in which there wasn’t many people in it. Harry was dressed in one of the many Gucci shirts he owned, with freshly washed hair that made you smell his pleasant scent from inches away just because he was wearing your favoured one and you'd always recognize it. You also detected the many rings on his fingers, including the one that you had bought for him as a 27th birthday present and by god, he was so thrilled about the ring and had a big smile on his face all day so he felt like he wanted to use it every day. Oh and how good his birthday was. You weren't able to have a party, obviously, but you still managed to celebrate somehow. In the morning, you gave him his favorite breakfast and then he, Gemma and Anne stayed on a zoom call for about an hour. You bought some yellow balloons to put in the living room just to give that birthday vibe and during the night, you had no more than four friends in your LA house, all properly protected and saved. You just ordered a few pizzas and watched some of Harry's favorite movies. It was simple but with an incredible energy, receiving a tiny group around while doing something y'all liked was everything Harry wanted most, mainly because he would have to wake up early the next day to go to the set of "Don't Worry Darling." as they were about to finish filming.

But today was another day. In earlier Febraury, the GQ magazine team reached out to your businessmen with the proposal that you and Harry would record a video together answering questions about your relationship to be published before the Grammys and after you consider whether it would be the best thing to do or not because of the many reactions you could get from it, you both agreed to do it. You’d always try to consider every little possibility when it comes to your and Harry’s relationship as the media can be very mean and disrepecftul.

Instead of Harry, you had a black miniskirt, long sleeve white blouse and a small black blazer with your Fendi plaid boots, which was Harry's personal choice for today as you’ve told him that he could chose an outfit for you to wear. You two spent a few minutes in the makeup chair doing touch-ups on your hair and makeup right before you were both ready to shoot. You walked from the makeup table to the center of the studio where you could see the crew behind the cameras and the big white background with a table and two black chairs right in the center. The table had a computer upon it only. After sitting down and having the microphones popped at you, you looked up when you heard the directors asking if you were ready and when you nod and the count is over, the camera started recording.

   ‘‘Hi, I'm Harry Styles!'’ You greeted the camera with a big smile on your face, eliciting a laugh from Harry about your unexpected "joke.". Honestly, today was a good day for both of you where you were both in an extremely good mood. Unlike the other days where you were quarantined, you were emotionally untired and in the mood to film and have a small social interaction, which is rare.

   ‘’And I'm Y/N Y/L/N!'’ Harry said joining in the joke with you and then looking at you as he waited for you to say the rest of the introductory phrase but only realizing you were smiling at the camera without saying anything.   '’Y/N!'’  Harry called calmly causing you to turn your head to face him and realize he wanted you to continue instead of continuing himself.

   '’Oh sorry, I thought you were going to continue'’    You whispered conspiratorially to him before taking a deep breath and resting your hands on the table when you returned your gaze to the camera.   ‘’And we’re gonna go undercover on the internet today!!’’

   ‘’Yeah, I'm scared!'’  Harry said when opening the laptop that was over the table and turning it on. You sat back in your chair so that you could see the laptop screen clearly and smirked a little when you heard your boyfriend's words.

   ‘’Hm... Let's do TikTok!'’   Harry said after a few seconds in silence while thinking. Harry's words made you chuckle his words because you knew that Harry doesn't comprehend anything about TikTok and didn't have an account but you both would usually find yourselves in bed watching tiktoks for hours. '’Which username should we put in?'’, Harry asked without taking his eyes off the screen.

   ‘’You should be! I’ll expose all of your deepest secrets in this video'’   You said while raising your eyebrows in a playful way eliciting a laugh from Harry, one by the way, that he tried hard to sound a little desperate for people watching  '’Alright, what should we do first?’’

   ‘’Put ‘’simp4harry’’ !"  You said with a smirk on your lips as Harry let out a nasal laugh but put that username either way.

   ‘’Okay, but how did you think of that username so fast? I think it’s very creative'’  Harry asked as he finished creating the account.

   ‘’It's the username I put on everything!'’  You answered as you ran your right hand through your hair.

   ‘’Oh yes? So is this your Only Fans username?'’  Harry mockingly asked making you laugh and take your eyes off the screen and look at his face.

   ‘’No, I don't even have an account on Only Fans, for God's sake Styles'’. You answered as mockingly as he did, '’Why? You have one?'’  You asked calmly.

   ‘’No, I'm a one-woman man!'’ Harry said to cause you to smile convincingly.

   '’Can someone get me a bottle of water, please?'’ You asked gently for the people who were on the set and smiled thanking the person who brought you.

   ‘’Thank you!'’   You answered sounding a little bit shy, even though you’re a public person and listen to compliments quite often, you still don’t know how to react to them. You took a deep breath and raised your eyebrows before using your finger to point to the laptop screen as he opened your tiktok account,  ‘’I mean, I don’t even know why I’d be one of the best ones to follow since all I post on tiktok is unnecessary and stupid things that goes through my mind during the day.’’

   ‘’So inconvenient!'’  Harry whispered playfully. You two had this habit of being sassy to each other, and everyone around you was used to it. This craze started because the first time you guys hang out together in Shanghai, you just talked like you’ve known each other for years and not just five hours.

   '’I didn't drink water today, do you want me to be thirsty? I thought you loved me!'’   You used a dramatic tone when speaking before drinking a sip of water.

   ‘’I did!'’   Harry replied in a low tone finishing logging in the TikTok feed.

   ‘’What do you mean ''you did''?'’   You answered in a loud tone holding the laugh with Harry.

   ‘’Okay, focus on TikTok! Focus on TikTok!'’  Harry said with a laugh as you now brought his attention to the screen as well,  ‘’Hm, let's look at my girl's account!'’, Harry said as he typed your tiktok username in the search bar. You took a sip of the water in the bottle and put it on the table,  ‘’AND by the way, do you guys know that this woman over here was listed by The Cut as one of the best tiktokers to follow today? And I’m so proud’’

   ‘’Well, I love how you appreciate your talents, love!'’  Harry replied sarcastically with a smirk on his lips making you chuckle. He didn't like it very much when you belittled something you did, even if it was something that was really bad, he didn't like it. Not just with you though, but with all the people in the world. Harry doesn't like it when people don't recognize their worth.

   ‘’Ok, here’s the first one! I’ll be reacting to it!'’   Harry spoke in a playful tone while clicking on the video as he knew very well it was not a react video but to answer questions. Harry clicked on the first video, this time you were propped up with your face close to the camera with folded arms dubbed to the sound that was in the background. You then take the transparent glasses pulled over the beige in a matter of color that was in front of you on the table and put them under your eyes never failing to dub the song. Then you move away from the camera and can see you are wearing leggings and a sweatshirt. And then you take your Louis Vuitton Coussin PM silver bag and place it on your shoulder before the video ends   ‘’Alright, so on this video you don’t do anything else than mimicking to the song.’’

   ‘’No, but like, seriously!'’   You complemented. '’We’ll watch some of them, and you’ll see how silly they are!

   ‘’I know that’s why I said that it stupid!'’   You exclaimed as you crossed your arms on the table. ‘’Let’s see the comments'’   You, yourself clicked on the comments area with your hand before Harry did and observed as comments poped up.

   ‘’Ok so the user @username1 asked ‘’How does it feel being the coolest person ever’’, tell me Y/N, how does it feel like?'’  Harry asked with a smirk to you as he turned his head to encounter your face with raised eyebrows.

   ‘’Oh, it feels so nice!'’ You responded in a playful tone causing both of you to laugh at your conviction, even though you knew it was a teasing tone and not narcissistic  ‘’Everybody knows I’m like, the coolest person alive so...'’  You convincingly said running your hand through a few strands of your hair and then take a deep breath and put a lock of hair behind your ear.   ‘’No, I’m just kidding. I’m not cool everyday, honestly there are days that I’m the most annoying person ever so I definetely have my good and bad days.’’

   ‘’Oh and those annoying moments'’   Harry said in an ironic tone, letting out a dramatic sigh causing you to frown and slightly open your mouth as an offense while holding your laughter as you exclaimed a loud '' excuse me?’‘ as an answer. Harry returned his attention to the comments on the screen again and frowned and brought his face slightly closer to the screen to read   ‘’Okay so @username2 asked ‘’new trend: are you engaged?’’. No guys are not. We’ve never been engaged.’’

   ‘’I feel like we’ve been engaged since 2017!'’   You said sarcastically remembering all the rumors about engagement, babies and dating. Since the first time you has met there were rumors, thousands of them, all the time but you and Harry chose not to comment on them as it would just be a big waste of time.

   ‘’Exactly and we weren’t even dating in 2017!'’  Harry complemented by looking away from the camera at his nodded face. '’But anyway...’’   Harry said taking a deep breath  '’I love how random your tiktok actually is!’’

"I know! I am planning a whole video to film on Grammys day because I'm in love with my outfit and i’m so excited for it!" You said changing the subject but being excited about the idea. After the announcement of nominations and with all the excitement you felt for Harry, you agreed you would attend the Grammys together; it was something important because not only was he running for three awards but also because you never attended any events side by side, except at the 2019 Met Gala. Then the pressures would increase but Harry knew it would be so much easier if he had you there with him. Because whether or not he took the awards home, he knew you were there and he would be grateful for at least being nominated for sure.

"Wait, which outfit did you pick? " Harry asked as he left the tiktok site on the laptop and entered Instagram. Harry selected searched for the hashtag of both of your names as a ship name on the explorer, so it would be easier to find what both of you wanted. "You showed me three different outfits but didn’t told me which one you chose!"

"Oh, I choose the black Prada one!"  You answered calmly. Harry stopped using the laptop and turned his head quickly to face his face causing you to look surprised and confused at him due to your reaction. It was his favorite outfit from the three that you had shown to him. "What?I wanna look great before you win your first award and I start ugly crying."

"Oh my god, you’re probably more excited than me." Harry said turning his attention back to the laptop screen.

"Of course I am, I cannot wait to walk around telling people that my boyfriend is not only a three times grammy nominated but a grammy winner!" You answered as you grabbed the water bottle that you had previously asked and drinking a sip.

"Anyway, let’s see!" Harry said as he started searching through the hashtag posts, also drawing his attention to the same screen. You then see a post that catches your eye and points it so that Harry can click. The post was a picture of Harry on the Met Gala carpet with ‘’Harry pierced his own ear for the Met Gala with a needle’’ written on it. "Ok, that’s true! But, now ask me why I had to pierce my own ear?!"  He asked ironically, as if he were playing a trick on you, because he knew very well you had a mini argument that day since you refused to pierce his ear with the fricking needle.

"I told you I wouldn’t do it! Do you even have any idea of how dangerous that was?"  You replied right after rolling your eyes, but your tone of voice remained calm and you didn't get heated when you spoke. "You know you need to sterilize, right? And what if you had caught an infection? Do you really think I was going to do that? You're an adult. I can't stop you, but I wasn't going to pierce your ear."

"Hey, hey, hey!" He said causing you to stop talking and look at him. Harry raised his eyebrows and looked at you with a smirk before speaking. "The thing is: I really wanted to pierce my ear, and we wear finishing getting ready in New York. I asked Y/N if she had a needle. Neither her and Alessandro wanted to do it. Literally no one wanted to do it but I was very much decided so I did it myself and my ear is completely fine by the way" Harry said the last part making you roll your eyes again while looking at the camera and take a deep breath.

"Anyway..." You said as you dived back into the posts. In one of them you read someone saying in a comment that you and Harry would probably never fight. "Here, this one says ‘’I feel like they’re the type of couple that never fights and when they do, the fight lasts for 30 seconds’’".

"Absolutely untrue!" Harry said almost that immidiately while you nodded agreeing with him.

"Guys, every couple in the world argues. It’s natural, it’s not because we don’t have big arguments and talk shit about each other on the internet that we don’t have conflicts or understatement" You explained. You and Harry are really compatible, but you still have your moments and it’s important to recognize it. No relationship is perfect and disagreeing on things is absolutely understandable.

"Yeah, specially ‘cause we’re different people that come from different places and had different experiences. As long as the disagreements are not causing you serious mental and emotional harm is normal" Harry complemented your thought. It’s important to notice when a relationship is not making you feel good anymore. If your unhappy for any reason is important to leave and to search for help if needed. "See, if you could change anything in our relationship, what would it be?" Harry asked making you pay attention to his words and face as you thought attentively in silence for a few seconds.

"I think I would probably change the fact that we’re usually really far away from each other!" You said calmly while looking at him. "Like, you’re always travelling and so I am, so I feel like it can get hard sometimes because of that and I’d definitely would change that if I could do it without like, changing our whole careers and lives."

"Yeah, I’d probably change that as well!" Harry agreed nodding to you as he was thinking as well. "I’m very grateful for quarantine on that point because we could spend more time together without being so long apart from each other. Of course I wish it was on different situations but I’m grateful for that" Harry said and you could understand that completely. You and Harry had been dating since 2018 and had spend months apart from each other and only you both truly knew how hard it could get sometimes, specially when you had the whole world to judge both of you.

"I fully understand it! Sometimes I think about everyone who spent this past year alone, and I’m really grateful for having you with me...LIke, you’re my best friend, you know this" You said looking at Harry’s face. He had a growing tender smile on his face that was starting to make you nervous and emotional on the same time as you remembered the past year. You felt your eyes getting wet and let out a chuckle looking away from his gaze. "I’m getting emotional! It’s all about my cancer rising today!"

"Oh sure, it’s always zodiac’s fault!" Harry said laughing and then looking at the screen and the crew on the backstage while gesturing with his hands. "That’s probably one thing about Y/N that you guys don’t know. She fully believes on zodiac signs and those stuffs. Actually, there was one time when she told me that we couldn’t be together because our signs were incompatible."

"Okay but like, Harry is an Aquarius and I’m a Taurus. We are incompatible when it comes to zodiac signs!" You said between giggles as you tried justifying your point even though Harry knew you were joking when you said that to him. He didn’t know at the time though he was very much surprised and scared when you said it.

"But anyway, I’m glad that we spend this time together. It’s been weird and funny at the same time like the spaghetti day!" Harry said holding his giggles as he watched your eyes widen because you knew exactly what he was talking about.

"NO, we're not talking about this!" You talked fastly while laughing at the same time as Harry as you both remembered that one night in quarantine when a spaghetti night went completely wrong and he came on the kitchen to see you and a kitchen with spaghetti and tomato sauce all over the floor and the walls and how you cried to convince him to clean the whole kitchen alone and failed. "Ok, let's finish the video here before things are leaked!" You said giggling.

"Alright, this was very nice. Thank you GQ for having us and I hope we weren't the worst guests you've ever had!" Harry said joking even though you both knew that it was quite hard to be very open in the media specially about your relationship but you tried your hardest.

"Don't forget to watch Harry peform on Grammys on sunday!" You said.

[maurine07]

I logged into Tumblr to have a break and I found unexplainable and disgusting hatred here and I have no idea how people can be this hateful

So, in lights of recent events I just wanted to show you, you incredible brilliant writers how amazing and magnificent you are. Your MCs are so wonderful, each one unique in their own way and I love that about them and I love them so much.

@genevievemd Sara, I absolutely adore both you and Gen so much, more than words can ever describe. Gen is so precious and pure and sweet and just all the goodness that's in this world. I love how you write her, how you add her flaws and how you write her anxiety and the depth you add to her, it makes her feel so real and I just love her with all my heart

And you, my dearest, are the sweetest person ever. You're so kind and amazing and so sweet and I just love talking to you so much, you're the best ever

@liaromancewriter Mal, I know we haven’t interacted before but I’ve read some of your fics and I adore Cassie so much. I just love how you write and I love the backstory you gave her. Her relationship with her brother is amazing. And Max and Sienna’s relationship??? It’s to die for, they’re so precious.

And you honestly seem like the sweetest person ever

@bex-la-get Bex! Nat is a literal ray of sunshine and I adore her with my whole heart. She’s so kind and sweet and funny and so caring and you write her character so beautifully. Literally every time I read one of your fics, I always have the biggest smile on face because of her

And you, Bex, are the best. You’re super kind and incredible and I truly hope you know that

@a-crepusculo MIA!!! Girl, you know I freaking love Marchia with everything I am. She’s just so beautiful, both on the inside and the outside, and lovely and kind and I love how caring and loving she is. She always makes me so happy. She’s a Queen and I would love for her to step on my neck, please and thank you

Also, you, my beautiful beautiful Mia, are the sweetest, funniest person on this planet. I love talking to you so much (even if I am horrible at replying back which I’m so sorry for), our conversations always make me so happy. I love you so much, girl<33333

@danijimenezv Dani, I've reread your fics several times and every time I fall in love with Jill even more. She's so gorgeous and lovely and amazing.

And I've only spoken to once but you're honestly so sweet and lovely

@takeharryandgo Kelsey, I know we've never spoken before but I've read your fics and Meredith is just asking perfect as one can be. She's so freaking beautiful and funny and kind and I simply adore her. I just love her so much.

Also, you seem like the loveliest person and you're so funny.

@jamespotterthefirst Bree, you know how much I love Lilac and you're probably bored of me but I just love her so much. She's so beautiful, kind, funny, caring and just so perfect. I'd let her do anything she wants to me. I love how you write her character and how much depth you add to her with her family, the people around her, her friends.

And you know that I love you. You're the kindest, sweetest person ever and I love your sense of humor. Love you, Bree❤❤❤

@writer-ish Kat, first of all, I've been loving your response to this whole situation. Second, you know I adore Brooke. There's nothing I wouldn't do for this woman, she's everything. She's breathtakingly gorgeous, she's so wonderful and funny and sweet and I love her.

And I adore you, Kat. You're so sweet and amazing

Hope y'all are having a wonderful day💕💕

[lowkeysebastianstan]

Watch "Canceling | ContraPoints" on YouTube

i know it's not the same situation, but just to illustrate how that insane hatred feels for the person who's exposed to them. i like the whole thing, but especially from the 57:30 mark. obviously contrapoints is not the same as sebastian stan, but these things work in similar ways, and she too was cancelled over someone she was associated with.

i'm not gonna defend his actions, although to me that pic spoke more about ignorance than malice, i've myself been wary abt a few of his actions and statements in the past, and the ppl he chooses to have in his life, i thought the spain thing was blown way out of proportion, but yeah it was a bad look. i'm simply saying that him blocking ppl who attack and harass himself or ppl he's close to is perfectly understandable, how on earth can anyone take that shit, and over something he did't even do himself.

if y'all wanna cancel him or whatever, just do, just unfollow him, stop watching his movies and support him financially, don't send hate and personal attacks. if he loses fans and income he'll get the message.

and yes, i do think there's a difference between him and a jkrowling. she's doing incredible damage to a marginalised group, and continues to spread lies and misinformation. and even then i don't agree sending hate and threats, again punish her by not consuming her content and speak out against her views. i myself indulge in the odd terf baiting on twitter occasionally, but i don't target her directly. although, yes, i wish she was deplatformed so the damage she's doing can be suppressed.

the weird thing is that ppl are so critical of anon hate against regular ppl but when it comes to celebs they're supposed to answer every frothing anon? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

and hey. maybe all these ppl succeed, maybe they get him fired like james gunn got over 10yr old 'edgy' tweets. not that anyone will care bc bucky isn't a particularly popular character, but disney will succumb to backlash, they do it all the time.

anyways. i dunno why i do this, it seems there's a new discourse and scandal every time i log on. anybody want my 11 bucky pops?

[heroesofhyrule]

Okay since seeing the trailer for the new Zelda game, I’ve been really wanting to read some more really good BOTW fanfic. Do you have any suggestions where they have some length to them? Also fics where link and Zelda are raising a family??

Truth be told, I haven’t read many BotW fics, if any, but I’ll compile some here after some searching! There are quite a few here that seem interesting to me or had plenty of kudos.

Please check all of the tags and heed the warnings before starting a fic! 

Super long fics (wc: 200k+)

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild 

T | Novelization | Slow Burn | wc: 473k | Complete

“But courage need not be remembered… for it is never forgotten.”Though struggling with both the loss of memory and the incredible weight of past failure, Link must find a way to recover what has been lost and bring hope back to the land of Hyrule.An epic fantasy-style novelization of Breath of the Wild.Complete, with afterword and deleted scenes!

Champions and Beasts

T | Series | 2 works | Slow Burn | Post-canon | wc: 311k | complete

Hyrule is a strange place, is it not? It has no history, only legends. It has no true heroes, only colossi who have wielded its fate in their hands. The Champions, and the Beasts; the wise, the strong, and the brave. And yet, we are always either recovering from war or preparing for it. How much longer can we endure, I wonder? How much longer can we step through this dance?

In a world this vast, being a hero isn’t always easy.

Champions and Beasts is a Breath of the Wild series that takes a darker and more political look at the world of Hyrule, both before and after the Calamity. Legends are long past, history is mostly lost, the wilds are dangerous but perhaps not as dangerous as the ambitions of its inhabitants; and with Calamity either just over the horizon or still a lingering nightmare, the Hyruleans must fight to attain peace.

This work is centered around Link and Zelda, and their evolving relationship both before and after the Calamity.

Currently there are only two Parts planned (From the Ground Up and The Ballad’s Beginning) but I am considering a third installment!

One Last Year

T | Post-canon | wc: 215k | Complete

Zelda vows to help Link remember the events that lead them to their hard-won victory. In doing so, they must delve together into a shared past and seek to untangle their feelings, their grief and their youthful frustrations to find the things they could control… and the things they couldn’t.

“I don’t know how to remember. Time passes, but nothing comes to my mind… Except you. You’re the key,” Link said, softly. “You have to be.”

A Breath of the Wild fic about Link, Zelda, and the memories that bind them.

Ironic Technology

Rating varies | Series | Contains both gen/romance | Canon/Post-canon | wc: 242k | Complete

Ironic Technology is a series where Link loses an arm after a tricky situation with two Guardians, luckily, he is able to receive a prosthesis made of Ancient Technology from his Sheikah allies. He continues on to complete all of the Shrines, meeting his friends from the four nations along the way, before he’s finally ready to take on Ganon with his tech upgrade. Moves into slice of life events with Link and Zelda living together working through their issues with each others support. Very little angst, mostly positive fluff and humour with Zelink throughout.

(A/N Originally I wasn’t going to have DLC2 content but it was a good ancient tech expansion, so expect that in ‘Trial and Error’ which will be rated ’M’ folks!)

The Destiny Collection

T | Series | Slow burn | Pre/Post-canon | wc: 225k | Complete

A collection for the little BotW universe I’ve created.

Not all stories directly follow one another! At least one spin-off is to be expected.

Long Fics (wc: 100k-200k)

Adrift in Time and Skyward Bound

E | Explicit language and sexual content | wc: 132k | Last updated 11/10/18

Link is her appointed knight. He will do anything and everything to protect her. Always. All ways. BotW. ZeLink. Loosely based on the original storyline.

Love in a Time of Calamity

M | Slow burn | Canon divergence | Post-canon | wc: 125k | Last updated 03/04/19

Zelda awakens her powers in time to defeat Ganon, but there are still major losses. With Central Hyrule in pieces, two champions dead, a king out of commission, and half a metropolitan city turned refugees, Zelda and Link struggle to come to grips with the aftermath of the Calamity. Though neither are prepared, they must nonetheless learn to navigate a turbulent political landscape while a snooping journalist, an overzealous artist, and a power-hungry nobleman’s machinations turn their already topsy-turvy world on its head. Though the Calamity has been defeated, recovery proves a battle all its own; and that’s not even considering the battle raging in both their hearts. BoTW ZeLink AU.

Trouble the Water

Rating varies | Series | Pre/During/Post-canon | wc: 156k | complete

Excerpt from the first entry:

An expansion of canon: a look at why the memories might have happened where and when they occurred (with one slight change in order) and an attempt to fill-in the events and conversations alluded to by diary entries and conversations in-game.“You were a comfort to her,” in particular, needed to be expanded upon, I thought.Begins shortly before the first journal entry in Zelda’s diary, and continues to the immediate aftermath of the last memory.First person: Zelda’s perspective

Still a bit long fics (wc: 50k-100k)

I’ll Walk With You

T | Post-canon | wc: 94k | Complete

‘The battle is over, the Calamity has ended, and everything you knew and loved is gone for good. And yeah, you can’t ever get it back, but… maybe we don’t have to. The path in front of us may be long and uncertain, but it leads to something new, and… Zelda, no matter how hard it gets, I’ll be right here. And I’ll walk with you.’

A collection of moments involving our favorite Hero and Princess as they struggle to adapt. Post-BotW.

It All Must Start With Us

M | Post-canon | Sexual tension/Implied sexual content | wc: 76k | last updated 09/06/19

Set immediately after BotW, this story explores Link and Zelda’s journey together to restore Hyrule. Along the way, a mysterious voice give them the task of reliving memories of a century before: some painful, but all necessary before they can fully move into the next step of their lives.

Since the DLC did not give us a post-Calamity world with Link and Zelda, I’m writing one for myself and anyone else wanting to know what might have happened after! ♪ UPDATES ON SUNDAYS!! ♪

The Golden Age

T | Slow burn | Post-canon | wc: 66k | Last updated 03/05/19

After a century of undisturbed silence, a forgotten princess emerges from the famous ruins of Hyrule Castle. Princess Zelda has returned, and an even greater task than containing Calamity Ganon arises before her; balancing a complex love life while rising her kingdom up from the ashes and restoring it to glory in an age of peace and prosperity.

Post Botw.

A Hundred Years in the Making

M | Pre-canon | Slow burn | wc: 65k | Last updated 05/20/19

The story before the story began. A hundred and one years before, to be exact.

star fragments

G | Post-canon | wc: 61k | Last updated 01/21/18

Being a princess is a life of sacrifice. After beginning their new journey to find their places and rediscover Hyrule after Calamity Ganon, Zelda begins to realize she’s missed out on several experiences her land has to offer. Fortunately for her, Link knows everything.

Rise

T | Canon compliant | Sexual tension | wc: 58k | Last updated 01/10/19

The chosen hero appears. The princess deals with it.

One way it all could have happened.

A Hylian Romance

T | Court poet | wc: 55k | Complete

As are many, I was intrigued by the Sheikah court poet and what his perspective on Link and Zelda’s relationship might be.

Fade to Black

E | Series | Pre-canon | wc: 55k | Complete

A collection of smutty “what could have happened after the memory faded” ficlets each tagged to a different BoTW memory. Every story contains varying degrees of canon alteration and canon divergence, but are for the most part in line with the BoTW universe as we know it.

General disclaimer:I do not advocate for underage drinking, unprotected or unsafe sex, or generally poor decision making. Be smart and safe in real life, y'all!

Okay fics (wc: 20k-50k)

Zelda’s Log

T | Post-canon | Domestic fluff | wc: 43k | Last updated 03/24/19

After defeating the Calamity, Zelda and Link embark on a journey: she wants to get acquainted with the new Hyrule, and find her place again in the world.

The World That We Lost

T | Post-canon | wc: 41k | Complete

After defeating Ganon, princess Zelda goes back to Hyrule, resolved to rebuild her kingdom and make it even greater than it was one hundred years ago. While she feels confident enough to face any challenge and confront any foe that stays on her way, a reality breaks her heart: Link remembers her, but not quite, and his new life has made changes in his personality that even the total recovery of his memories may not be able to revert.

Unconventional

T | Post-canon | Slow burn | Implied sexual content | wc: 40k | Last updated 06/12/19

In the wake of the victory over Calamity Ganon, Link and Zelda need time to heal and adjust. Unfortunately, with rising pressure for Zelda to rise into the role of Queen of Hyrule, they aren’t given much time. Couple that pressure with confusing feelings for the Champion of Hyrule, well, her life has never been simple.

A New Normal

M | Post-canon | Memory loss | wc: 30k | Complete

About two years after sealing away Calamity Ganon, Zelda comes down with the same mysterious illness that took her mother away. Purah and the other Sheikah work on revamping the Shrine of Resurrection, and manage to heal her in two years; but she is plagued by the same memory loss that Link went through. The two struggle in their relationship and responsibilities as they try to recover her memory and thrive in Hyrule as they know it.

What wouldn’t I do?

T | Pre-canon | Slow burn | wc: 30k | Last updated 03/10/19

Link is appointed Hylian Champion for saving princess Zelda’s life. She doesn’t seem very fond of him though. Despite his struggle to cope with carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, Link can’t help but wonder if he really is ready to give his life in order to save someone who doesn’t trust him.

Link’s Journal

T | Canon compliant | wc: 30k | Complete

Day 1

I’ve had a bit of a rough day. I don’t remember who I am, a girl keeps talking in my head, I’m supposed to slay Calamity Ganon, a blue bokoblin nearly beat me to death with a stick, and the old man still won’t give me his paraglider.

But, well, I’m still here, breathing and thinking and eating baked apples, so it could be worse. The old man (who is annoyingly enigmatic – I don’t know who I am, the least you could do is tell me who you are) showed me how to write in the Sheikah Slate. I want to keep a record of who I am, right now, because, well, I can’t remember who I was before. If I lose my memory again, this time I will be ready.

[What’s Happening: The author journaled her BotW play through. Every in-game night “Link” stops to write an entry in his journal.]

Observation Methods in Data Collection

No ranting | Pre-canon | First person pov | Diary/journal | wc: 27k | Complete

I read somewhere that it was obvious that Zelda was falling for Link because she treated him like a science experiment, which allowed her to talk and think about him without really acknowledging that she had feelings for him. I loved this interpretation SO MUCH! So, here is my attempt at filling in some of those details.

On Propriety and Unconventional Avenues of Communication

T | Post- canon| wc: 21k | Complete

(Post BOTW.) In which Link develops a very curious habit and Zelda is confused.

Short fics / oneshots ( - 20k)

Forgotten Knight

M | Post-canon | Sexual Tension | wc: 15k | Complete

Zelda and Link have defeated the Calamity but Link did not regain his memory. They return to Hateno Village to heal and recover, and to not only get to know each other again, but to learn how to love each other again as well.

Risk of Burn

E | Post-canon | Explicit sexual content | wc: 15k | Complete

Three weeks after the fall of the Calamity, Zelda changes her mind.

The Joys of Photography

G | Post-canon | wc: 14k | Complete

The Sheikah Slate has the remarkable ability to capture and archive true to life images. Such a remarkable piece of ancient technology is not something that should be taken for granted. But that doesn’t mean that the Princess of Hyrule and her appointed Knight have to be so serious about every image they capture. The story of five pictures taken on the Sheikah slate.

Son of The Wild

T | Post-canon | Family fluff | wc: 13k | 05/16/19

Link and Zelda’s son reflects on his unusual upbringing.

practical anatomy

E | Post-canon | Explicit sexual content | wc: 12k | Complete

Is the Goddess still testing him? Has he not suffered enough in this lifetime? Was killing the Calamity not enough—now he has to explain morning wood to the Princess of Hyrule?

(in which Zelda discovers an unsavoury image on the Sheikah Slate and Link must face the consequences)

Soldier’s Log

T | Pre/post-canon | wc: 11k | Complete

The events leading up to the return of Calamity Ganon as well as life after his defeat as recorded in the pages of a journal belonging to a knight who would be king.

By the fire

T | Ficlet collection | wc: 11k | Complete

A collection of Zelink ficlets in the BOTW universe. Some ideas were developed for my main fic, “The World That We Lost”, but had to be scrapped because they didn’t fit anymore. Others are explorations of different canon formulas and timelines that said fic doesn’t touch, and some more could come from prompts (send me one, if you want!)

On the Life of Queen and Consort

T | Memoir | Post-canon | First person pov | wc: 11k | Complete

Few know me. I was the Queen’s left hand and the Consort’s right. I was their first, best and last friend. But above all, I was their advisor, and now that my tenure has ended, it is time to write their story.

After 100 years apart, Link and Zelda finally unite to rebuild their Kingdom. Their reign together is long, with triumphs and heartbreaks as they navigate Royal life, raising children, conquering fears and growing old in a Kingdom beset by peace. Now at its end, their Chief Advisor Larella sits down to write the history of their reign, having beared witness to much of their lives.

Part of Zelink Week 2017 - this is a ten part series that looks into the partnership and later life of Link and Zelda as Queen and Consort of Hyrule.

[magpies4nights]

What?! What day is it again?! (Dev log #6.9)

Oh god, it's 2024. What the hell. Where am I.

Anyways, I would have uploaded yesterday (January 1st) but I felt incredibly tired and nauseous from the night before. I couldn't sleep till 1 am because I ate too much (12 grapes is already too much for me). I'm still tired because I haven't been able to sleep properly for 2 days. I don't know if I've been staring at my computer for too long or what.

Onto actually talking about development. It's been a slow one, especially since I came back home. The only thing I would say I completed are the portraits, mostly because so far there are approximately 72 of them. If you're asking who's got the most portraits so far, I would have said guess, but people don't like doing that so I'll tell you. It's Priyah (applause). Xandra is in 3rd place.

(not actual dialog. so far.)

I don't have any new music for this time around. I guess college gives me more inspiration than I thought, which is surprising especially since every time I come back from it I want to move to mars (and risk my life) with how the people are there. Y'all, if you're going to look for universities in Texas... go to New Mexico or literally anywhere else. For your own sanity. Anyways, Happy late new year, and Happy late 3rd Anniversary GASA4am! (I unfortunately don't have anything for this wondrous occasion)

[conchobarbarian]

I've been thinking a lot about sensory issues/overload this week bc I've been having more trouble in that regard than usual lately & it really is incredibly weird to think about how much other people just don't notice? tune out? I guess? like it's legit hard to imagine what it even means to not constantly be logging this much sensory information all of the time. what does it mean to see something but not pay attention to it, but not be ignoring it, either? hearing but not listening makes more sense, but mostly because that feels, to me, like a conscious decision to ignore input. I can hear someone talking but not listen to them, although in most cases, if they're talking to me instead of just in the background, there's still a part of my brain logging what's being said, if only very briefly lmao

but y'all without sensory sensitivities are just out here...what? not even noticing the movement of the ceiling fan reflecting off a spoon on the counter across the room? listening to music & not also hearing the air conditioning & your boyfriend typing & cars outside? not constantly being aware of every surface & texture your body parts are touching?

sounds relaxing as hell lmfao fuck

[kylorengarbagedump]

No Accounting for Taste (NSFW)

Read on AO3.

Summary: Where the eyes should be, there is a void bordered by rows of chrome lines, and the mouth is muzzled by a flat, carbon slate. It is as human as it is inhuman, an echo of something familiar, like the look of death on the face of a stranger.

Heart pounding, you speak, your voice creaking inside of your throat. “What the fuck is happening?”

The voice that responds crackles inside the mask, mutated and mechanical. “Something very unfortunate for you.”

Word Count: 7100 (oops)

Warnings: Literally everything. This is NSFL. Rape, verbal abuse, literal torture, graphic violence, death. This is a Red Room fic.

Characters: Kylo Ren x (Fat!)Reader A/N: Hello, and welcome to the actual Worst Thing I've Ever Written. I went through this for a few reasons--one, just to prove to myself that I could, two, out of spite, and three, to gift this work to my beautiful friend @daddyrenn / @rosalinaballerina. She has listened to and supported me for like, years now, which is crazy, and I realized I never wrote her anything to thank her. So, here ya go, cupcake. I love you so much, and I hope you enjoyed this.

I also hope that whoever else enjoys gross nasty shit like this enjoyed it. It was really cathartic for me to write, so, I'm happy to put it out there for anyone else. Love y'all so much! Thank you for all of your support all these years. <3

laetus_lacrimosa: when’s the show starting?

blueeyeswhited: are you new here? he’s always late

laetus_lacrimosa: it’s been 30 minutes already

xwaifusayorix: yup

laetus_lacrimosa: i’m paying how much for some dickhead who’s always late?

mg3453: hopefully not as much as the rest of us

kyloren has logged in.

kyloren: Five minutes. Bidding at .52 btc begins now.

kyloren: Any other complaints will be addressed by me. In person.

kyloren has logged out.

A droplet of water hits your forehead, and your eyes open. The lights are still on, but you are alone. 

The roof is leaking, and not just over your bed, but in several spots across the room. You’re not particularly surprised--you hadn’t paid a fortune for the hostel, but to wake up to cold rain was still not an expected consequence. Sighing, you sit up, wipe your head, and swing your legs over the edge of the bed. Thankfully, your mattress is entombed in plastic.

Your brain spins. You’d wanted to sleep through the storm, but it doesn’t seem like that will be an option. And you’re not sure if you can manage sitting on your bed, alone, for the next however many hours. The last time you’d tried it, your legs ended up with a bunch of knife-slashes from the three-inch blade you keep in your backpack. The rest of your hostelmates have abandoned you, apparently, but there’s no surprise there. A knot in your throat grows thick. You can’t run away from your inferiority.

Planting your face in your hands, you draw in a deep breath, hoping the air will quell the burgeoning volcano in your chest. They left because you had said you wanted to sleep. That doesn’t mean you’re inherently uninvited from wherever they went. In fact, you could get up and meet them right now, if you wanted. And want you do.

You stand, shaking the jitters out of your fingers, and step through the sleeping quarters to the living area. Under the heavy rhythm of rain, you hear music, like a stereo blasting from inside a wave--and in its direction, flashing, rainbow lights. A party. A grin tugs at the corners of your lips. That didn’t sound like such a bad way to pass the time. Better than sitting in your room, alone. You snatch a hoodie from your bag and slip on your flip flops before darting through the storm, skipping over stone and sloshing in the tiny puddles already pooling in the grass. And after a few hops, you see it, beyond the curtains of rain: a tent, a safehouse by the shore.

By the time you reach it, your grin is erupting into a full smile, laughter eking out of you as you pull the hood off your head. You can’t remember the last time you’d run through the rain. And as the lights splash onto your face, you realize that you can’t remember the last time you’d danced, either. The music is spirited and electric, a classic reggaeton beat under lyrics in a language you don’t understand. Before you know it, you’re sliding further into the tent, looking for familiar faces, your hips rolling to the beat 

You spot a younger woman you’d shared a few light-hearted conversations with this afternoon--she looks totally trashed, but she’s definitely having a good time. Hopefully, being drunk allows her to be even more forgiving of your social awkwardness. But before you reach her, a hand on your shoulder halts you, and you yelp into the noise, whirling around to face the intruder.

“Evening,” he says, sounding as if he’d somehow whispered into your ear from feet away. “Thought you wouldn’t make it.”

“Hey, yeah, I did!” You search his face, brow furrowed. It’s a handsome face--hazel eyes, dark hair, full, pink lips--and it’s on top of a tall, muscular frame. But somehow, you don’t remember him. You’re more self-centered than you thought. “I’m so sorry, can you remind me who you are?”

A tight grin crosses his face, and your name rolls off of his tongue in mock-disappointment. “Really? I’m hurt.”

“Aw, no!” Frowning, you latch onto his forearm, trying to placate him. It’s thick and firm in your grip, and a shudder crawls up your spine. “I’m so sorry! I’ve just been… kind of off. Remind me, please!”

Smiling, he tugs you closer, and your cheeks grow hotter. “It’s Kylo.”

You nod. “Ohh, okay! Hi, Kyle!”

“No,” he says, “Ky-lo.”

“What?” Your face twists, and you turn your ear toward him. “Kylo?”

“Yes,” he replies, and his breath brushes your face. “You’ve got it.”

Hiding an idiotic giggle, you inch back. “This is kind of cool, huh?” What you can’t hide is how your gaze travels his body. All he has on are black jeans and a black t-shirt that clings to his thick chest and arms. Fuck, he’s built. “I mean, uh, the party.”

“The what?”

You cup your hands around your mouth, shouting over the music. “The party!”

“It is.”

Kylo stands there, staring, his eyes like voids, absorbing every flash of color in the tent. Under his gaze, your heart throbs, and in the back of your skull, the reptilian bit of your brain catches flame, screaming. But you can’t figure out what it’s telling you. Is it to run? Or to stay?

“Let’s dance,” he says, and barely waits for your nod before he curls one of his large, strong hands around yours and spins your back against his chest. Now you are on fire, your hips rocking with his, your face ready to melt when he leans his lips close to your ear. “Have you ever been to El Salvador before?”

“No!” Heat courses through you when you realize how loud you’ve been. The black-sand beaches of El Salvador weren’t your first choice for a runaway destination. But they happened to fit the three primary criteria: cheap, secluded, and U.S. dollar-friendly. Squeezing his hand, you tilt your head. “I mean, um, no.”

“Really? I come here all the time.”  Kylo tugs you closer. The air seems thicker, now. “It’s beautiful.”

“I think so too.” Your palm is slippery, and you adjust your grip again.

Kylo’s mouth scrapes the shell of your ear. “Let’s go somewhere quieter.”

Silent, you nod.

He leads you through the rain back to the hostel, through the living area and into the sleep quarters. You wait by the doorway as he saunters over to his bag, his shirt sticking to the rippling muscles in his back. Holding a sigh, you chew your lip. Kylo reaches into his backpack and pulls out a wine bottle--it’s wrapped and corked, brand-new--and urges you over with a nod. Lizard-brain wailing, you oblige.

“Where are you from?” Kylo is peeling the foil from the bottleneck while he speaks.

You glance at your feet. “The States.”

“Mhm.” The foil floats to the floor. “You must think I’m an idiot.”

“What?” Head snapping up, you meet his gaze. It’s empty. “No, no. Not at all. What?”

“I meant where in the States.” His fist is tight around the wine. “Given your accent, though--New Jersey?”

“Philadelphia.” Blush creeps onto your cheeks.

“Really,” he says. “Say w-a-t-e-r.”

Your lips twist into a mock-frown. “Wuder.”

Something twitches on his face. A grin, you think. “Right.” Kylo twists the cork, easing it free. “What does your family think of you traveling alone?”

“Oh.” Your thoughts tangle. For some reason, you want to lie. “They, uh, they’re okay with it.”

“Hm.” A pause, and he locks you in his stare again. “They don’t know, do they?”

“Um…”  A swift twist and tug, and the cork pops out. You flinch. “No,” you admit. “They don’t.”

Kylo shrugs. “No shame in that.” He sits on the bed, beckoning you with a nod. “Sit. Have a drink.”

You gnaw your lip again, looking at your backpack. You consider grabbing your knife, just in case. He’s incredibly fucking hot, and you’d love nothing more than to hop on what you are sure is his massive dick, but something about it seems wrong. But you aren’t sure if what you’re feeling is real discomfort, or your own fucked-up brain working to deny anything good might ever happen to you.

“I don’t know… Something seems weird about a strange drink from a strange man.”

Kylo smirks. “You saw me open it. And besides…” He pauses to take a long swig, the knot in his throat bobbing with each gulp, and then pulls off with a short gasp. You find yourself wanting to swallow, too. “I hope that’s satisfactory.”

Sweat beads at your nape. “Uh…” Shrugging, you shuffle over and sit next to him. He radiates heat. After the rain, that seems particularly inviting. “Sure. Why not.”

You wet your lips and tip the edge of the bottle into your mouth, the lukewarm liquid spilling out. It’s tart and dry with a lingering salty tang, and you wince as you swallow, smacking your tongue against your palate. You pause for a moment, waiting for the inevitable wooziness and unconsciousness to hit--but they don’t. Maybe he isn’t full of shit. Warmth ebbs through you, and you look over at him, holding out the wine.

“Weird taste. What is that?”

His eyes scan your figure. “You didn’t like it.”

“No, no,” you say, shaking your head. “That isn’t it. It’s just weird and salty. I’ve never had anything like that before.”

“Hm.” Kylo blinks, gaze flitting to the bottle, then back to you. He takes it from you and has another drink, imitating you by smacking his tongue. “That’s what it is.” He does it again. “You’re aerating it. Don’t do that.”

You raise a brow. “Really? I’ve never heard of that before.”

“There’s no accounting for taste.”

“Oh, shut up.” You roll your eyes. “You’re fucking with me.”

He presents the bottle. “Try it.”

Pouting, you grab it, taking a long, slow drink, and pull off, fighting the urge to--how did it he put it?--aerate. But you still taste salt. Your brow furrows, and you look at him. The sirens in the back of your head are deafening, now, and you swallow, fingers starting to tremble. You glance at the wine, but the label is in Spanish.

“Um, hey, so… what… what is this? This wine?”

Kylo’s blank gaze meets yours. “Oh. Right. I forgot you asked.”

“Yeah. I did.” Your heart slams against your ribcage.

“It’s gammahydroxybutyrate.”

Shaking your head, you play it over in your head. “Gammahydro--what? What? Kylo--” You reach for him, but you miss. “What the fuck?”

He is flat. “Ecstasy.”

The next thing you remember is hitting the floor.

Darkness is torn from your face, and a matrix of light blinds you, pain leaking from you in gasps as your ears are swallowed by a shrieking whine. Groaning, you shift, attempting to jerk away from the brightness beyond your lids, but your arms stall, your body rocking into the chair. Wait--the chair? You kick, but your legs strain against the bonds around your calves. Wincing, you bow your head, waiting for the ringing in your skull to die before you even try to remember what the hell happened. Then, shade, interrupting the assault on your eyes, cooling your skin for a brief moment. A grunt escapes you; your lids flutter open. 

Light is a halo around shadow, the figure in front of you the shape of a man, if men are shaped how you remember. Your vision is water, the sound dull, like you’ve been plunged into a shallow tub. But as it clears, you make out details. He is tall, broad, muscled, wearing… black. A black tank top, black leather pants, black boots, all melting in the murky slime of your brain. The one detail you can’t discern is his face--because it is obscured by a mask. Where the eyes should be, there is a void bordered by rows of chrome lines, and the mouth is muzzled by a flat, carbon slate. It is as human as it is inhuman, an echo of something familiar, like the look of death on the face of a stranger.

Heart pounding, you speak, your voice creaking inside of your throat. “What the fuck is happening?”

The voice that responds crackles inside the mask, mutated and mechanical. “Something very unfortunate for you.”

“What? What are you talking about?” You want to shout, but every bit of effort you make to speak or move is tripled against the weight of your scrambling consciousness. “Let me go. Please. What the fuck is happening?”

He is silent. Your gaze darts around the room--the floor is dirt, the walls are blank, and there isn’t a single window that you can see. To your right, a large, flat screen displays text… lines of it, you think, discussing something. A chatroom. You see one of the names--kyloren--and your blood turns to ice.

El Salvador. The wine. Ecstasy.

Kylo.

Before you can speak, your gaze catches the lines on the screen moving, talking. And they’re talking about you.

laetus_lacrimosa: i love how fucking scared she looks

blueeyeswhited: it’s awesome. she has no idea what’s about to happen

gawinulim11490: what are the limits?

mg3453: are you serious?

xwaifusayorix: lol

Your stomach lurches, and Kylo moves, the light burning your vision again. You squint while your pupils adjust, and see that he’s walked to a terminal where a camera and laptop are arranged. The acid in your belly roars like a wave, eroding your esophagus and singeing the back of your throat, and your chin quivers, quakes resonating to your toes. Fighting your fear, you overcompensate, instead, and glare at the camera, hocking a thick wad of mucus and spitting it at your captor. It falls short, a glob in the dirt. Kylo doesn’t seem to even notice, but the chatroom has.

blueeyeswhited: she’s an animal

gawinulim11490: like every other female who doesn’t get her way. strip them of their privileges and they resort to this.

xwaifusayorix: lmao are you an incel

kyloren: Bidding begins at .29 btc. Open now for the next 30 seconds.

As he types this, the screen explodes with chatter. From what you can tell, there are five people in this room, watching you. Bidding on something. They spit out different numbers, trying to one-up each other in a value you don’t recognize. .88 btc, 1.46, 2.19. The integers climb and climb.

laetus_lacrimosa: 2.93 to strip her and cut her fucking nipples off.

xwaifusayorix: oh shit 

mg3453: yeah i withdraw, i wanna see that lol

Breath flies out of you, and you choke. “What? What the fuck? What the fuck is this? What the fuck?”

kyloren: Going once. Twice.

No other person speaks.

kyloren: 2.19 btc to watch. Beginning now.

Kylo clicks something, and the chatroom changes. One, two, three of the people who had been in the previous room appear in this one. Kylo appears to adjust the camera pointed at you and turns, pulling a knife from his belt.

You whip your head back and forth, straining at your bonds, toes digging into the dirt, hips twisting to rock the chair. “No, please, stop, what are you doing. Please stop. Kylo, or whatever your name is. Please don’t do this. Please--”

He doesn’t appear to respond, but grabs the back of the chair, stilling it while he slides the knife underneath your shirt. The metal is ice on your skin, and you shiver, whimpering as tears blur your vision. You can’t stop your chin from trembling, your heart from wanting to explode out of your chest. Kylo turns the blade to the ceiling and rips, standing to the side so the camera catches when your belly, chest, and breasts are uncovered. Noise wants to escape you, but it doesn’t--you can only whisper as the tip of the knife shreds the hem of your top.

“Please… please stop…”

If he is moved in any way by your display, his only reaction is to tear the fabric to the side, making sure the entirety of your torso is exposed for the three strangers watching you on camera. Snot slips out of your nose, and you whimper, a chill washing over you. Kylo stares at you--or at least, you think he is. The inability to identify any hint of humanity from his facade makes your blood run faster.

The pause is only brief, however. He grabs the chair again, and slips the tip of his knife underneath your shorts. You want to struggle, but the threat of a blade against your belly paralyzes your limbs. All you do is sob while slices open the front of your shorts, digging the knife into the fabric of your crotch until the mound of your pussy peeks out. You thank your stars that you’re fat enough that your belly sits on top of your thighs, but Kylo sighs.

“I forgot how fucking fat you were.”

Growling, he takes the knife and rips open the hems on your sides, tearing the fabric away so that your front is now completely naked to the camera. After that, he bends forward, working at the bonds at your feet, and for a moment, there is a tease of relief. The ropes--or zipties, or something, you can’t tell--come off, and your heart roars with adrenaline. You pitch forward, attempting to leap up, but the chair only squeaks, and Kylo’s head snaps toward you.

“Fuck you!” With a shriek, you try to drive a heel into his shoulder, but he snatches your ankle in a large, gloved hand, and before you even move your other leg, that one is seized, his strength so overpowering that you wilt in his grip, collapsing against the chair.

You realize that was his goal, now, all along, while he spreads your legs wider, revealing your cunt to the camera. Another sob wells up in your chest, and you wiggle in protest, feeling helpless as he rebinds you to the chair. Under his breath, you hear him laughing.

“There we go,” he murmurs. “It’s so much easier when you behave.”

“Fuck you.” Your breath shudders in your chest. “Please stop.”

Through your tears, you glance over at the chat--and immediately wish you hadn’t.

blueeyeswhited: christ she’s so fucking disgusting--her body is a fucking mess. has anyone ever actually fucked that? lmfao

mg3453: her tits are fucking embarrassing. she’s in her 20s and they’re already sagging to her pussy

gawinulim11490: are you kidding. her tits have looked like that since she was a teenager. her body is just fucked up.

laetus_lacrimosa: females actually do this to themselves

The terror and anguish inside of you boils, and you glance over at Kylo. You see nothing but a silhouette of darkness.

“Fuck you! Fuck all of you!” You’re spitting, now, snot and saliva soaring from your face. “You’re all sick pieces of shit! Fucking sick misogynistic pieces of shit!”

xwaifusayorix: LMFAO

blueeyeswhited: “misogynist” is she a fucking feminist LOL

gawinulim11490: yes she is, but she doesn’t know the first thing about it. she’s a fucking idiot.

You hate that person in particular. They seem to know you. They talk about you like they’re an expert. You glare at the camera.

“Fuck you, whoever you are. I swear to god, when I get out of here, you will fucking pay for this!”

xwaifusayorix: lol

mg3453: well it makes sense that she looks like that now if she’s a feminist

laetus_lacrimosa: cutting off her nipples will be an improvement

Out of the corner of your eye, Kylo moves toward you, and you snarl. “Fuck you. Don’t even come near me.”

“You have no choice in that matter.”

He tosses the knife, catching it by the handle, and grips the chair again. Heart in your throat, you cry out, thrashing against your bindings, muscles tensing and untensing as words and spit fly, unfiltered.

“Please! Please, fuck no! Don’t do this! Don’t fucking do this Kylo please fuck don’t do this! Please!”

Underneath the mask, you hear a low, quiet laugh. Kylo stands behind you, steadies the chair against his body, and grabs one of your tits, pulling the skin of your areola taut. Your breath is rapid, drool streaming out of your mouth as you scream again, begging him to spare you. He brings the knife to your flesh, and you thrash, trying to slam your head back into his hips, hoping to knock him off balance.

Grunting, he crushes your breast in his hand, making you squeak. “Might not be smart to struggle while I have a knife so close to your chest.”

Face crumpling, you release a shuddering whine, tensing as you watch the knife pierce your flesh.

Searing pain streaks through your nerves, echoing in your fingers and toes, and you screech, throwing your head back in broken sobs while cuts through the layers of skin. A warm fluid spills down your abdomen, pooling in the crevices of your thighs and dripping onto the floor. Your teeth pinch your lower lip, lids shut tight as he carves through you, jolts of hot pain hitting you with each millimeter of skin removed. You can’t decide if you want to go to sleep or wake up.

Your breast flops against your stomach as the last bit of your flesh is removed, and you hear him toss it onto the ground. The thought of opening your eyes makes your stomach turn, but you find yourself cracking open a lid.

Blood has painted you in crimson buckets, and the fleeting pace of your heart is only making it pump out faster. Gasping, you feel faint, and close your eyes again, focusing on your breath, hoping to slow your heart rate so you don’t bleed out. Your entire body is pulsating, and you are trembling--you don’t want to go into shock, either.

Kylo clutches your other breast, tweaking your nipple in his fingers. Another laugh rumbles under the mask, and he cuts into your skin once more. The pain is duller, this time, your adrenaline still spiked and your brain focused on keeping calm. Yet you feel like a fish, filleted live on television, strands of hanging skin snipped and ripped from you, and you are bathing in warm fluid pumping from your own heart. Your second breast drops, and you groan, dizzy. It’s a lot of blood, leaving you--you don’t even need to look.

“That’s an issue,” says Kylo. His voice sounds filtered through water.

You hear rustling, and then the flicking of something--a lighter--and your lids pop open. Dread sinks into your bones when you watch him wipe his knife on his pants and hold it over an open flame. Whinging, you shake your head, the tears coming again.

“No, no, no no no…” You heave, swallowing vomit. “Please, no, no, we can do a tourniquet or something, please, no no no…”

“You’d rather bleed out?” His voice is dull, even under the modulator. “Besides,” he says, spinning the knife over the lighter. “We need you awake for every part of this. Otherwise it isn’t any fun.”

Vomit threatens again, but you swallow, shuddering. “Fuck you.”

Kylo releases the lighter and moves forward. Before you can even protest, he presses the flat end of the blade against your wound, and you scream, tears streaming down your cheeks, shivers wracking your body as blinding pain whites your vision. A sob crawls out, and then another, and another, before you are heaving, drooling, and wailing in desperation. You try to breathe, but can’t, gasping and whining for air--and you finally vomit, hurling onto your chest, the rest bubbling out down your chin in an acidic burble.

“Stop. Stop, please,” you wheeze. “Please, just stop.” A rare breath fills your lungs, and you cough. “Why? Why are you doing this?”

The weight of his gaze heavy on your frame as he re-heats the knife over the flame. “Because someone paid someone to pay me.” He steps forward and cauterizes your other wound, and you screech again, agony wracking you as your skin sizzles and pops under the heat. The smell of burnt flesh permeates. You want to vomit again.

Finished, Kylo wipes the knife on his pants again and puts it back into the sheath on his belt. You are quaking with terror and pain, sweat has drenched your lower back and hair, and you are still trying to focus on your breath. Kylo clicks something at his terminal, the rest of the voyeurs are back in the chat.

blueeyeswhited: holy shit she looks fucked up

laetus_lacrimosa: dumb fat bitch lol

mg3453: this is exactly what all these commie cunts deserve

gawinulim11490: don’t compliment her by insinuating she knows anything about being a communist.

xwaifusayorix: lmao shit

Your head is spinning. Is that it? With the bidding done, are you just going to be tossed out like this? Maybe he won’t even let you go.

“Kylo, please…”

Then, he types.

kyloren: Bidding open again. Starting at 2.93 btc. Open now for the next 30 seconds.

mg3453: 2.93 to shut her up. rape her mouth and make her vomit again

blueeyeswhited: nice

gawinulim11490: he’ll rape her?

xwaifusayorix: lmao cuck

laetus_lacrimosa: he’ll do anything--he’s a monster

kyloren: Going once.

gawinulim11490: i’ll double it. 5.86 btc to rape every disgusting hole. choke her. make her lick cum off the floor. remind her how repulsive she is.

Your heart sinks into your gut. Your mouth is dry.

kyloren: Going once. Twice.

kyloren: 5.24 to watch. Beginning now.

The chatroom changes in the same way it had before, only now all five people who had been in the chat before slowly join. After the last person appears, Kylo turns, pulling the knife out from his belt once more. You can only swallow, staring at him with pleading, wet eyes, hoping that if you seem pathetic enough, he’ll let you go, or spare you, somehow, with any hint of kindness.

When he cuts you free of the chair, you kid yourself into thinking, for a moment, that he’s done just that. You swivel to try and look at him, to catch his intention, but find yourself horrified when you turn to see him pulling his cock out of his pants, guiding his hand up and down the hardening shaft.

Heat licks up your spine, and you babble something nonsensical before shaking your head, blinking away the tears.

“Bend over the chair.” His voice is even darker, more commanding, under the mask.

You don’t want to bend over the chair, but you are so weak and tired, the thought of what might happen if you don’t bend over the damn chair is even more terrifying. You try to move, but find yourself slipping on your own blood. Puke hits the back of your throat again, and you gag.

“Bend. Over. The chair.”

“I’m trying, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry who?”

You pause, and stare up at him. Static has blanketed half your brain. I’m sorry…

A flash of black leather smacks you hard across the face, and you whimper, too exhausted to even grasp at yourself in shock. “You’re sorry who?” he asks, again.

Clenching your quivering chin, you look at the ground, the dirt spattered with your blood. “I’m sorry, sir.”

“Much better,” he says. “Now move.”

“Yes, sir,” you mumble.

You sit up, and the parts of your shirt that hadn’t been shredded stick to your sweat. Your shorts, however, stay on the chair, matted a dark red. When you try to stand, wooziness slams you, and you stumble, grabbing onto the chair as your vision doubles, spinning out like a car wreck. Part of you wants to look at the chat screen--see what they are saying--but the other part turns with tiny steps until you are facing the side of the chair. Wincing, you lay yourself across it, ass in the air, knees off the ground. It’s hard to be still, as the seat is still slick with your blood.

“Let’s see if we can find your pussy in all of this mess.”

Leather gloves grip your ass, and you close your lids, wishing that you wouldn’t shiver as he pushed aside the hills of your flesh to find your cunt between your legs. You thought back to when you’d met him at the club--you would’ve happily had consensual sex with him, then.

“You really thought I wanted to fuck you?” he says, as if he’d read your mind. “Answer me.”

Your cheeks flush with fire. “Um… I, uh, guess I did…”

Thwack--your ass and hips jiggle with tremors of pain. He just fucking spanked you. “You what?”

Choking back, a sob, you say, “Yes, sir. I did.”

He laughs with an inhuman derision. “You’re fucking pathetic. I would never be desperate enough to fuck something like you.”

Kylo’s fingers dig into your hips, and the head of his cock pokes between your thighs--but before he can drive himself inside of you, you glide off the chair and collapse in a pile on the ground, and you retch while your burned tits scrape the dirt. Dust erupts in clouds, and you roll to avoid the pain, particles getting into your mouth, forcing a cough.

“Fuck,” you groan. “Fuck…”

Through your fit, you look up at Kylo, who is still stroking his cock--now fully erect. Your heart drops even further. It’s enormous.

“Get up, bitch.” Behind the mask, you know he’s smiling. “Get back on the chair.”

You push yourself up on buckling elbows, dragging yourself like a corpse back onto the chair. Shaking, you drape yourself across it, and Kylo once more grapples your hips. The warm, throbbing head of his dick slides across your legs, seeking out your cunt, aching to tear it open and make you scream. You bite your lip, grimacing in anticipation--but when he thrusts, you lose grip on the chair again and tumble back onto the ground, rolling onto your back while you stifle a whine.

“Stupid whore.” Kylo kicks you in the stomach with the toe of his boot, and you heave, curling into a ball. “Can’t even stay on a chair.” He sighs, his erection bobbing in need. “But you’re used to being fucked like an animal, aren’t you?”

“What--”

Kylo pounces, clutching a fistful of your hair as he whips you around, shoving your face straight into the dirt. You moan in pain, drool dripping in globs from your face, caking your mouth and cheeks in mud. Gloved hands pull your legs apart, and then a hard, thick cock is pushing at the folds of your dry cunt. Grunting, Kylo cranks your head back, his voice low in your ear.

“Not wet for me yet?” A smothered laugh. “That’ll change soon.”

Gasping for breath, you almost beg for him to stop--but then he rams into you, ripping through your walls, and you screech, bucking against him, arms flailing. He lays his entire weight on top of you, like a boulder pressing you to the ground, and curls his fingers in your hair before thrusting again. A throttled shout escapes you, and Kylo’s other hand wraps around your throat, strangling any other noise. All you can do is slobber as tears trickle along your jaw.

“Mm, fuck,” he hums into your ear. “I feel you getting wet. You like this, don’t you?”

A long, agonizing pull out, and then another excruciating drive in. Shame seeps out of your pores as you realize--he’s right. The base of his dick pulses when he seats himself inside of your pussy, and your body reacts, walls instinctively squeezing. He laughs, tugging you somehow closer, the cold muzzle of his mask settling in the crook of your neck.

“That’s right,” he says. “You feel like a whore.” He drags out, and slams back in. “You look like a fucking pig.”

Kylo finds his rhythm, punishing you with his dick as he growls into your ear, hand just tight enough around your throat to keep you conscious while you fight for lucidity through the pain. Your pussy is wet, now, a humiliating and automatic reaction to the painful fucking he’s forcing upon you. It’s only then that you can actually process it--he’s raping you. This is all actually happening. The realization is almost anesthetizing--you can’t feel your face anymore, anyway, you think it’s been numbed with tears--and any sound you make escapes as guttural, animalistic sobs.

“That’s right, little pig,” he says. “Squeal for me.”  Kylo releases your neck to smack the side of your face, and the sharp pain provokes something inside of you--you squeal, like a rutting, dirty farm animal, and when he returns to choke you, you squeal again, in shame. He snickers. “Good pig…”

The constant raking across the dirt has rubbed your body and pained nipples raw, making every movement above you torturous. Kylo pumps deep into your cunt, piercing your cervix over and over and over, his breath leaving in dark, mechanical huffs. You want him to cum so badly, just so this will be over. In angst, you groan, loud and long.

“It feels that good?” he asks. “You love taking cock, don’t you? You’ll take it wherever.”

Kylo pulls out, but before relief hits you, you feel the tip of his slickened cock pass over your asshole. Horrified, you groan again, but in his grip, under his weight--you are weary, helpless. You can only whine and screech in protest as he presses against you.

“You want it so badly. You’re fucking disgusting. But I knew that the second I realized you wanted to fuck me.” He huffs when he pushes the tip of his dick into your ass, and you grunt in pain. “You were so desperate. So lonely.” Another thrust, deeper, more unbearable. “And those cuts on your legs…” A hard, deep thrust this time, and you howl. “Do you think anyone actually wants to give you attention?” He pauses. Smacks you, and gasp. “Do you?”

Voice ragged, you reply, “N-no… No, sir…”

Kylo tugs you back and slams his hips against your ass, and you wail in agony as he splits it open. It feels hot and cold and empty and full all at once. You are dizzy with pain and exhaustion, overcome while he pounds you, fucking into you harder than before. His cock is hard and sharp, a nail trying to splinter you like a board.

“Go on, pig,” he growls. “Squeal for me like the filthy little swine you are.”

He slaps your cheek, and like a stupid, trained pig, you squeal--a horrible, wretched sob that scrapes its way out of your throat. Another moan leaves him, and he gives you two hard thrusts before pulling out of your ass, his dick like sandpaper against your sore flesh. You gag, and then yelp as he yanks you to your knees by your scalp. He is quick, smacking the side of your face to part, and then shoving his dirty cock straight into your mouth.

You retch, the taste revolting, but Kylo grips your skull in both his massive hands and fucks down into your throat, your hair his reins. There’s a visible urge to let his head fall back and cum, but he fights it, locking with your stare behind his mask. Water spills over your cheeks again, your eyes rolling as you fight your own urge to pass out. It is almost impossible to breathe with his thick dick constricting your airway, stretching your jaw, making you drool.

“Such a good little squealer… Almost made me cum.” His voice is uneven, now, his thrusting erratic. “This is all you’re good for, isn’t it? And you’re barely good for this.” He slaps you. “Stay awake, cunt.”

Gurgling against his erection, you nod to the best of your ability. Your compliance has you wanting to throw up, too, but there has been too much to fight--knowing it is almost over, you want him to hurry so you can leave and forget him forever. After a lot of therapy, probably.

“Fuck… fuck--”

Kylo’s hips pitch, and he groans, pulling out of your mouth and jerking his cock as it twitches in front of your face, holding your head still. A gasp, a groan, and he climaxes, jets of hot cum splashing your eyes and lips, mixing with spit and tears and dirt. Sighing, he squeezes the last drops of his release from his dick, wiping them on your face and shoving you back into the dirt. 

You hit the ground and shatter, the pent-up fear and adrenaline pouring out in broken, weeping breaths. Part of you wants to cover your face with your hands, but the other part is too disgusted to touch any reminder of his presence.

“Clean it up,” comes Kylo’s voice.

It is an echo in the chamber of your bawling. You can do nothing but wheeze, ache, and cry. There is nothing left in you to do an ounce more.

But Kylo is unsatisfied with this. “Clean it up.” His foot collides with your stomach on the final word, and you screech, crying harder.

You fold into a ball, trying to block him from your private break-down. The crying is uncontrollable, at this point, all you can do is ride the waves of anguish. Then you hear Kylo snarl.

Pain explodes in your skull when he stomps on it, jamming his heel into your temple, and he kicks you again, knocking the air from your lungs. “Clean it up, you filthy bitch.” 

Coughing, you try to nod, acknowledging his order, shivering while you pull yourself up from the floor. Every part of you aches, resonating with pain and the tremors of torment. Glancing at yourself, you are covered in blood, dirt, spit, vomit, and semen. You can’t bring yourself to view the chat screen. What have they been saying this entire time? You suppose it doesn’t matter. 

Swallowing what scraps are left of your pride, you wipe the caked semen off of your face, gathering it in dirty clumps and dragging them onto your tongue. The taste is acrid, bitter and salty and dry and sticky--and you heave trying to finish the first glob. Closing your lids, you persist, steeling your stomach as you clean your face of every last viscous drop of his semen. As you finish, you open your eyes, blurred tears clear, and see the chat. 

blueeyeswhited: holy fucking shit

mg3453: that was fucking incredible

laetus_lacrimosa: i knew she could take a big cock

gawinulim11490: what a fucking whore. she fucking loved it.

xwaifusayorix: like every other female, lol

laetus_lacrimosa: look at her cunt, it’s so fat and wet

blueeyeswhited: what kind of feminist loves being raped? lmao

gawinulim11490: she does. she’s a fucking joke. i told you that she’s not a real feminist. she’s a boring, joyless, leftist cuntbag.

mg3453: goddamn lol. are you sure you’re not an incel?

gawinulim11490: fuck off.

Their words don’t bite, as they did at first. You’re too fucking tired to care. Glancing over, you see that Kylo has already tucked himself away, and is making his way to the terminal. This had to have been the last part. Surely his plan is to sign off and let you go. Surely… 

kyloren: Bidding opens at 5.86 btc. You have 30 seconds.

Adrenaline again. “No.” You try to scramble toward him. “No, no!”

blueeyeswhited: cut her fingers off. 5.86 btc

kyloren: You’ll need more than that.

xwaifusayorix: 7.86 to cut off her toes

laetus_lacrimosa: 9.44 to cut her guts out

xwaifusayorix: oh fuck lol

You slump onto the ground. They’re not going to stop until you’re dead. Heart skipping out of your ribs, you claw to Kylo’s feet, curling your arms around them, scratching the leather like a hopeless cat.

“Kylo, please… please, don’t…”

kyloren: Going once.

“Please, Kylo, sir, please, please, please…”

kyloren: Going twice.

“Kylo… sir, don’t do this…”

gawinulim11490: 15.73 to cut the dumb bitch’s head off. spare the world of another fat leftist idiot.

Breath freezes in your lungs. No one else in the chat says a word.

kyloren: Going once.

kyloren: Twice.

He pauses, you think, for a second longer. You don’t dare speak.

kyloren: 11.79 to watch. Starting now.

The chat switches, and the only one who joins is the person who bid.

You hug Kylo’s legs, trying to hold him, pleading and pleading for him to release you. It is mostly gibberish, nonsense strung together with despair. God, you didn’t want this, you realize now, if you were let go you’d be better, you’d do better, you’d do whatever you needed so that you were never hated this badly again. On some end, you must deserve it, if someone is willing to pay money over and over to see you brought to this.

Beyond your sorrow, you feel Kylo moving, dragging you across the ground while he moves in front of the camera. Without a word, he gnarls his fingers in your hair, wrenching you to your knees, twisting your body so you kneel facing the camera. You are sniveling, and just as silent as him.

It’s not that you think, perhaps, you deserve to die. It’s that you realize that it is inevitable. It is, you hope, the same revelation that hits a cancer patient after a grim diagnosis, or the one that blinks into the mind of a driver during a head-on collision. The same revelation that perhaps only half of the population is lucky enough to have, before they collapse or bleed or pass in their sleep. And here you are, having it now--you are about to die at the hands of this monster. At least you’ll finally be free.

Kylo stands behind you, and you hear a hiss and metal squeak. To your left, a heavy thump. Fingers still tangled in your hair, he snaps your head up, and you see his face again. For a moment, you can’t understand why he’s done this--but you realize the camera must only see you.

His eyes are voids. Yet he looks just as pretty as you remember. You should’ve known that no one this attractive had good intentions for you.

Then the blade of his knife slices into your neck, and you sob--but the blood is hot, spurting in a river, and you feel his fingers tighten in your scalp, and then another tear in your flesh, and you choke on your blood, coughing and sputtering and twitching in pain, and everything is fuzzy, and numb, you can’t feel your fingers, or your body, or even feel your breath, and soon you know you aren’t breathing youaren’t seeingand everythingis blankandemptyandblack.

blueeyeswhited: oh fuck that’s a lot of blood

laetus_lacrimosa: not exactly a clean cut job

mg3453: look how upset she was lmao

gawinulim11490: she deserves it.

gawinulim11490 has logged off.

mg3453: shit. good show anyway.

xwaifusayorix: i still think that guy was an incel

laetus_lacrimosa: incels don’t have cash like that, idiot

xwaifusayorix: true.

xwaifusayorix has logged off.

laetus_lacrimosa has logged off.

blueeyeswhited has logged pff.

mg3453 has logged off.

Session has ended.

kyloren has logged off.