#every thing about this episode is bizarrely attractive

[jubshead]

Okay, but why tf was this so attractive?!?

[studentofetherium]

watch Monogatari

Monogatari is a lot of things. across 18 novels or 102 episodes and three movies, the series spans numerous tones and genres

the premise of Monogatari is that there are supernatural creatures called oddities that represent the characters' mental problems. in each arc, a new oddity happens to force the characters into situations. that's rather broad! because the series does a lot with its concept and treats it rather loosely. the point is, the focus of the series is on its characters and their numerous psychological issues. as a result, the topics the series handles can be rather serious. this includes things like domestic violence, child abuse, and rape. however, not all its plots are so serious, and others focus on sexuality or sibling relationships

Monogatari is highly unconventional. i could say a lot about the bizarre presentation of the anime, or Nisioisin's distinct prose, but i think it's been seen rather than described. needless to say, Studio Shaft and specifically the directors Tatsuya Oishi (who directed the first two arcs, Bakemonogatari and Kizumonogatari) and Tomoyuki Itamura (who directed everything after) did a fantastic job in the series

what about the characters? it's hard to talk about the characters in Monogatari without going into spoilers, but suffice to say that each is distinct in their own ways

Koyomi Araragi is the series' protagonist as well as its narrator. for good and bad, his view is how we see the world. during spring break, an incident occurred which left him in a twilight state between humanity and undeath as a half-vampire. the supernatural attracts the supernatural, so since then, he has found himself involved in a number of other oddity incidents

Hitagi Senjougahara is the cool beauty, a tsundere with a violent side. after a run-in with a crab, she found that her weight had been stolen, causing her to come down with poor health

Mayoi Hachikuji is a precocious and energetic elemental schooler who can't find her way home. at times, she can come across as wise beyond her years, but at others, she seems exactly her age

Suruga Kanbaru is the princely athletic star of the school. however, a recent incident has led to her early retirement. at the same time, she begins to spend more time around (stalk) Koyomi for some unclear reason

Nadeko Sengoku is the little sister character who Koyomi forgot. he remembers her again when he stumbles across her at the shrine in the mountain, taking part in some sort of dark ritual...

and last but certainly not least, Tsubasa Hanekawa is the studious class president who shares some hazy recent history with Koyomi

and of course, there are many more characters than this, but i can't spend all my time introducing them

unfortunately, Monogatari has problems. i already mentioned that it tackles serious issues such as abuse or rape, and while it handles them well, there needs to be a warning for their presence, as the series does not shy away from them. however, not everything is handled well. complaints about the series oversexualizing its cast are frequent, and especially Koyomi's relationship with Mayoi falls under scrutiny. much as i love the show, i would be remiss to not warn people about these issues

but! if you still want to watch the series despite those problems (and you should), knowing what and how to watch can be difficult. the series is infamously hard to translate, meaning not every translation is equal. official subs are not always ideal and streaming services are far from the ideal way to watch the series. i recommend torrenting the series (suggested torrents are linked below). each arc name is unnumbered which easily causes confusion if you're not already familiar for the series. the watch order for the series are:

Bakemonogatari

Kizumonogatari

Nisemonogatari

Nekomonogatari Black

Second Season

Tsukimonogatari

Owarimonogatari season one

Koyomimonogatari

Owarimonogatari season two

Zoku Owarimonogatari

this may seem complicated, but it's much less so once you're familiar with the series

there is so much more i could say about Monogatari. the series is really deep, leaving lots of room for analysis of its characters and stories. even if you aren't inclined to go that far, there is so much to appreciate about the series. Monogatari is without a doubt my favorite story ever, and for many people it has been lifechanging. i cannot recommend it more and i hope if you've read all of this, that you're interested in checking it out!

[cyclesprefectpress]

hey hoo how's everybody doing. personally, not my best couple of months on record! and regrettably the first thing i drop when i get stressed is. text messages and social media accounts. which is ok but i've been delinquent on the online business management front and i feel i've been quiet here which i am sorry about because i do like talking about printing.

anyway i've got a bunch of WIP stuff piled up that I'm trying to get to! and some new projects i'd really like to finish this month. and i've also been doing a lot of long press feeds & many hours drawing on the light table and you know what this qualifies me to do. rate things on netflix (but ONLY if you aren't watching the screen):

dangerous lies: perfect non-watching watch experience. boy is it dumb but i always knew what was going on and also what was about to happen. the only thing i couldn't resist ogling was their fucking apartment which was SO big and tidily furnished when they're supposed to be barely making it financially. insane. 9/10

hypnotic: unfortunately this one is fun & good & doesn't waste your time with bad dialogue & i kept wanting to look up and pay attention to Kate Siegel's beautiful face which loses it points by this metric. 6/10

the boy next door: can you tell yet that i'm eternally searching for an erotic thriller that will stack up to Fatal Attraction. and failing. the problem is none of em have glenn close in em. this one sucks nuts 4/10

you get me: this is not what the erotic thriller is FOR. i want full adults torpedoing their own households and careers. teens making horny stupid decisions is just tuesday and the soundtrack is quite bad. 3/10

the nest: definitely not for not-watching. nobody is explaining themselves clearly for the audience or each other. it's also not at all scary, which was a surprise, but that's on me for having a one-note watching history and forgetting that dramas exist. 0/10, i sat down and watched it for real a day later and liked it quite a bit

deadly illusions: it's no Chloe but it is some very fun, greasy diner food of a movie. 8/10

the deliverance: hmmmmmmmm………………many people have more important opinions than me on this subject. i'll just say i was having a pretty nice time with some of the performances UNTIL i learned at the end that it was also about real people. so was the original Exorcist, distantly, and the distance sure does fucking help. 2/10

wild things: honestly a little hard to track what's happening without watching, because it's actually good & fun & there's like. real environmental details and mystery clues. good gravy it's crazy how hot Neve Campbell is all the time forever. 5/10, i was compelled to look up from my work table a lot

five star chef: completely bizarre conspicuous consumption experience. it's actually kind of nice not looking at the screen because i think the fullness of the view would make it way more uncomfortable. 7/10

selling sunset: unfortunately an extremely good non-watching show. now in a group i advocate for looking at the despicable houses together and tearing the decor to pieces, but as long as you're alone it is once again an improvement not to actually see the dollars and energy being dunked in the garbage and set on fire all over the curséd county of San Diego. glance up once every 10 minutes to see what they're wearing and you're gucci. 8/10

the perfect couple: a little challenging to follow at first if you're mostly identifying people by voices, but fun! nicole kidman is a delight; idk Eve Hewson from anything else but her character is made of uncooked spaghetti. as a person without Private Island Money i must protest for us, we're not generally this boring about it. 7/10

evil: netflix has been pestering me to watch this show for so long. they were right. it's bad & it scratches the monster of the week itch & the speed with which it simply, linguistically equates psychopath=literally possessed by demons is absolutely wild. i am currently stymied by the episode where they visit a monastery that's taken a vow of silence but someday i'll look up a summary and get past it. 6/10

culinary class wars (dubbed): i hadn't tried reality tv dubbing before and you know what, it's fine!! it does the job. there's absolutely no localization to make the jokes work in english or anything but that's a-ok. i really like the structure of this competition for some reason, and if the very annoying Class Warfare trappings make you uncomfortable like they did for me, be assured, they drop off pretty steeply after the first round and the actual participating chefs are perfectly respectful to each other. 10/10

[futchmemes]

WARNING discussion of body image and weight gain and unhealthy thoughts thereof ahead

i’ve always been really skinny my whole life and it’s so fucked up what that does to you wrt how people talk about your body. i had adults complimenting me on being skinny since i was literally 6 years old. can you imagine walking up to an elementary school kid and going “i wish i was as skinny as you are” when you’re 30+ years old cause i can’t. but anyway that and my eye color was basically the only thing people ever complimented me on when i was young and now that i’m an adult gaining weight because that’s a normal thing that happens in your 20s my brain is in a very bizarre state about it. some part of my brain is having a fucking identity crisis over it because if i’m not the Small Skinny One then who am i? if i lose one of the two things anyone ever compliments me about then i have nothing and i’m not attractive anymore which means im worthless, obviously. but i’ve also always been insecure about being flat chested and now i have bigger boobs. and during my depressive episode a few years ago i was losing weight and it scared me so i know this is healthier, since i’ve always been right on the edge of being underweight. so like. i genuinely don’t know what i feel about this. i feel more like An Adult Woman than i ever have and i actually really like the physical feeling of having more body fat but i also feel my body go cold when i see 130 on the scale instead of 115 and i keep getting extremely self conscious about my stomach. i outgrew a bunch of my clothes and every time i find a new thing that doesn’t fit i want to cry. but then i realize a shirt looks better with my boobs now. i’m mostly pleased but feel a beast in my subconscious waiting for me to gain enough that i’ll freak out and develop an ed. what do i even call that

edit because i feel like i wasn’t specific: i acknowledge that i’m still skinny by all accounts, my bmi is smack in the middle of the “healthy weight” zone (ik it’s bullshit but still) and i’m not by any means fat. but when you go from being one of the skinniest people in any given room who’s buying nothing but size XS-S or size 0-2 clothes to being like, a normal weight in the middle of the straight-size range it feels drastic. especially when you grow up in a misogynist society obsessed with girls’ appearances and you forcibly integrate any compliment you get with your self image. anyway it fucking sucks that we make girls (everyone to some degree but particularly girls) feel so incredibly invested maintaining the weight of a literal child that when they inevitably start gaining weight as an adult they freak the fuck out

[lindwurmkai]

you know ... i've made a fool of myself on the internet quite a few times in my life. i've said some pretty bizarre things, some of which went way beyond simple "brain farts" and in fact may have been signs of serious mental issues.

to name some examples of shit my brain has done:

experienced something akin to age regression complete with temporarily lacking knowledge and skills i normally possess. sometimes the missing knowledge was replaced with alternate "facts" that were straight-up wrong, yet for the duration of this state (usually just one day), i was convinced i was making sense.

badly misinterpreted someone's words because they tripped a trauma trigger and i was only self-aware enough to recognise that my emotions were disproportionate, but not that my judgement was impaired.

leaps in logic and outlandish claims that seemed reasonable to me at the time, but a week or a month later, i began to feel like i must have been on the verge of psychosis to come up with such nonsense. (does anyone remember "people in the past didn't experience sexual attraction the way we do because they wore different clothes"?????)

and that's in addition to regular brain fog, sleep deprivation logic, taking things too literally because i'm autistic, or simply ... being wrong. for normal reasons.

but every time there is an "abnormal" reason, i find myself hoping that anyone who witnessed it understands i wasn't just being stupid. because even in this day and age, too many people still look down on stupidity as if it were a choice. for a while it got a little better on the internet, at least in my circles, but then we experienced a great renaissance of "focusing on language distracts from the real issues" logic and suddenly no one cared anymore. even though it was never about the exact language used, but about the underlying devaluation of people with low IQs and anyone else perceived as stupid.

so i catch myself thinking, "it wasn't stupidity. i was triggered. i hope they understand that and don't unfollow me for being stupid." but that's shitty of me, too, isn't it? i am not better than people with intellectual disabilities or brain damage because my "stupidity" is more transient. it's not an expression of my personal opinion though, it's an expression of what i fear other people may think. and i will never be able to shake that fear as long as people keep complaining about stupidity like it's a moral failing.

there is immense privilege in my ability to look back on these episodes and recognise them as temporary. is someone who would look down on people who are permanently like that really my friend, though?

if you can't handle me at my "making no fucking sense", you don't deserve me at my "flash of brilliance during hyperfocus" tbh.

[ani-coolgirl]

I think you'd make good money if you turned one of your fics into an original story by changing the names and such. I have seen people go WILD on social media over the most poorly written abusive-alpha-knots-his-true-mate smut that somehow got published into an actual book. But your writing and sex scenes would drive a lot more people insane, you write so well!

That is so sweet of you! I'm so glad that that you enjoy my writing. It really is incredibly flattering to hear that people think I could write at a professional level. <3 Now, allow me to explain why I'll never, ever do this.

When I write fanfiction, I try my best to keep characters in character. I know that seems obvious, but back in the day there used to be a slash tag used called ATG (Any Two Guys/Girls) indicating that you could swap out the characters involved with just about anyone and not change a thing. I want to avoid that. I want the characters to be so recognizably them to the point if the names were changed due to some bizarre posting accident, people would still be able to point and go, "Oh, that's X and Y."

(On a slight tangent, you'll also find most of my fics are usually Alternate Reality/Canon or Missing Scene rather than Alternate Universes. I personally find toying with canon incredibly satisfying, seeing how much can be changed in small increments while still keeping everything recognizable (mostly in the service of two hotties boning down, lol). This is, of course, the entire premise of the Every First Time series where I do my best to merely tweak the events in episodes rather than make broad changes. That isn't to say I don't do true AUs at all (I have several on the back-burner in fact, and one of my favorite things that I've written is still Cuckoos in Glass Houses), but I'm unlikely to do, say, a straight-up Coffee Shop AU anytime soon.)

Let me be clear, I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with AUs or ATG-type fics! Write what you want! It's cool! But what attracts me to fanfiction in the first place is reading stories about characters I already know and love. To me, that's the whole point. So while it may be possible to do the ol' CTRL+H, without a lot of work I still think it'd be really obvious what I've done. As someone who also writes original fiction, I don't think that's the mark of well done story. In original fiction, I think characters should belong to their books so to speak. And while the bar can be pretty low at times (as you rightfully pointed out), I want my stuff to be a little better than that if I can manage it, especially if I'm going to slap my real name on there. If I do have an initially have idea for a fic that later I realize would be suitable for publishing, that story will never, ever see the light of day in fanfiction form.

And, of course, there's the fact that I still struggle immensely with writing anything that's multi-chaptered (fanfiction or original fiction), so making sweet, sweet bank on smutty romance is still a distant dream until I can get my act together. T_T

[thestupidhelmet]

I have a bizarre thought for a while. Do you have any headcanon for Hyde and Brooke if they were to have a thing for each other? Little proficiency that Hyde used to be physically attached to Brooke since he thought she was hot. Just can't help but wonder what look like if they dated. Would appreciate it if you could reply to this message as you want to, Thank you! And I love your T7S context!

Hope you have a speedy recovery! 💕

Thank you! 🤗♥️

I wrote a fanfic where a Hyde/Brooke relationship plays a major role (Jackie Stargazer). The way it happens there is essentially the way I think it could happen with canon characterization (under these specific stressors).

Hyde is consistently -- and conflictingly -- characterized as allosexual and demisexual on the show (regardless of writer intention) in different episodes. Either interpretation is valid, but I view him as demisexual. So him thinking and stating that Brooke is hot doesn't necessarily mean he's sexually attracted to her but finds her aesthetically appealing.

Hyde probably thinks his El Camino is hot, too, but doesn't want to have sex with it. 😅

I've written about Hyde's possible demisexuality extensively in this meta, but as an example, he's not sexually attracted to Jackie until her personality appeals to him -- despite that he finds her aesthetically appealing or hot, to use the term he calls her in "Kelso's Serenade" minus her personality (read the meta for details). At the time of that episode, his attraction is purely aesthetic, not sexual.

If Jackie didn't exist in T7S (because that's the only way I can imagine the following scenario), a Hyde/Brooke pairing when Hyde is in his teens would take a lot of setup. Brooke and Kelso's relationship develops because she's pregnant with their child. Hyde, being the product of an unintentional pregnancy (whether Bud or W.B. is his biological father), likely would take every precaution against walking his parents' path.

One of Brooke's major lessons is to let herself have fun. Hyde's includes opening up to accepting and giving the trust needed to sustain a healthy relationship. His childhood trauma instilled a fear of betrayal and abandonment in him. As a writer, I would have to figure out a reason for Hyde and Brooke to interact and make that interaction significant enough for both characters that more interactions follow -- eventually leading to romance.

Sure, a demisexual or allosexual Hyde could have a one-off sexual experience with Brooke, meaningless to both of them (Hyde is sex-favorable, whether he experiences sexual attraction or not). But I don't see that encounter developing into a relationship for them.

Other people might have different interpretations for these characters. But to be true to Hyde and Brooke's canon selves, as I understand them, a lot of pre-romantic development would be needed. Just as it was for Jackie and Hyde.

[basedkikuenjoyer]

On this day, we are talking about the one, the only. Da Big Guy himself, Ashura Doji. So this is something from the SBS but I thought it was cool and worth a post ruminating on. The topknot looking like a Sakura tree, there’s a Rakugo reference built around that. The story is called “Mt. Head,” or in Japanese Atamayama. Just like the mountain in Kuri and bandit brigade. Not a whole lot to delve into here but let’s look into the old Rakugo and see what we find!

First off, classic Oda talking about a tree coming out of his butt. I love this man has stayed so damn juvenile. Here we have him plain as day laying out this was intended. I’m not going to say our dear author is wrong because Rakugo is a largely oral tradition even today and there are lots of variants of stories, but everything I could find about the tale was pretty consistent. Big thing you might find different based on Oda’s description is that it tends to be about one man with a Sakura tree coming out of his head. This is going to be a pretty obscure reference and I know it isn’t intended, but every time I see it there’s honestly only one thing I can think about:

This is from an adult cartoon here in the states called Mission Hill. It was created by Bill Oakley and Josh Weinstein coming fresh off their stent on The Simpsons around the turn of the millennium. Only got one season which was a tragedy, it felt a lot like a more grown up Hey Arnold! which is some high praise. These two are Wally and Gus, despite the show not lasting long they have the honor of being one of the first gay couples depicted so well which is a plus. Given the time period they are not shy about it. This was a great episode where the surly “No fussin” Gus has a knife stuck in his head and refuses to go to the hospital. So Wally glues a bunch of crap to it so Gus can’t ignore it. It’s hilarious. But we’re talking an old Rakugo and One Piece.

If you want an idea of the traditional story here you go, someone made a modern retelling into a short anime film a while back that attracted some buzz. It’s pretty simple; a stingy man eats some cherries he found on the ground from a fallen tree. A Sakura tree begins to sprout from his head. Next viewing season the man has people crowding around his head to see the lovely tree. In frustration he pulls the tree out, then rainwater fills in the hole on his head into a lovely pond. This is where is gets truly bizarre, either the man dies from fishermen hooking the insides of his headgunk or somehow drowns himself in his own headlake. Rakugo...doesn’t always make a lot of sense which is awesome.

How does that tie into our beloved Doji? Honestly I don’t have much. This doesn’t seem like The Crane Returns a Favor for Kiku where the reference is an integral part of the character’s story. Does make me think a little about Marco as the framing device, the example of Whitebeard being stingy. I do get a roughly similar vibe out of Ashura as the man from the Rakugo. Especially when he doesn’t have the influence of the other Akazaya or Oden balancing out the life he grew up with. Still, felt like a fun thing to spend a post on. 

[aesthetic-bastard]

Media Interaction 2022

Part 7: July

Dick Fight Island - I'm not too big into Yaoi, and even if there is fan-made content of my favorite gay pairings, I don't actively seek it out. I'm sure we have all taken a trip to our local Barnes & Nobles and walked passed that one book in the manga section proudly displayed out in the open that immediately caught our attention with its bright yellow bold letters spelling out "Dick Fight Island"

Yes, that is the tile of this manga that I have read through with my own eyes. This is one of the only times I have read anything classified as erotica because this manga is bizarrely explicit. Like the title suggests, every 4 years 8 men from 8 different islands compete in a battle royal suited in scantly clad armor and fight against each other using their armored genitals as blunt objects. Whichever contestant comes out on top is crowned the new king of all the islands but whoever cums first during each match loses. Dick Fight Island is a very short read considering it's only 2 volumes and I greatly enjoyed it. I think it's empowering that something so bizarre and erotic is written and illustrated by a woman. I liked that this manga didn't only just have a cast of conventionally attractive homosexual men each catered to a specific arc type but there were also lesbian characters present in the story. I loved that this manga hit all bases when creating a story involving LGBT characters and wasn't just another erotic manga tailored specifically to fujoshi's.

Golden Kamuy (anime) - After reading through the manga I immediately jumped into watching the anime adaptation of Golden Kamuy and wanted to quickly catch up since I knew my favorite character would be introduced in season 4 coming up in October. I didn't have extremely high expectations for the anime and I could certainly say it's not the greatest adaptation but it's not the worst either. I would strongly suggest reading Golden Kamuy over watching it because this adaptation just can't do the justice this manga deserves, I can not even begin to understand the existence of Golden Kamuy anime onlys. There are probably a few scenes I enjoyed seeing animated but that was about it. The pacing of the first season is very inadequate and some of the chapters are either not adapted at all or they have their own separate OVA which makes it difficult for me to recall when certain events happened in the manga. Things don't start to pick up in the anime until season 3 which I find unfortunate because that's at least 24 episodes that you have to invest in before it gets better. At that point, I would just strongly advise reading the manga because I greatly enjoyed the early chapters in Golden Kamuy when I began to start reading it vigorously every day.

Panty and Stocking - When I heard that Panty and Stocking would be receiving its long-awaited second season I felt a deep sense of dread fill my body, that being said I took it upon myself to sit down and actually make my way through this anime from start to finish. I don't think I have ever sat through anything that gave me such intense secondhand embarrassment. I knew what I was getting into when I decided to force myself to watch this anime but I don't believe in brushing things off without fully examining them at least once. After watching my way through PSG, I strongly feel like I am the only person who has watched the source material. I refuse to believe the cult following for this anime is comprised of individuals that actually watched it. It makes my heart sink so deeply when a lot of animated media is heavily praised solely for its art and animation but is actually extremely lacking in other aspects such as writing, and character development or is just straight-up questionable. I feel like PSG gets a free pass for its awful offensive sexual humor because "the art style is cool" and I feel that's all people talk about when discussing their infatuation with this anime. I will admit I do like the art style of PSG but I feel like the "PSG art style" is more diverse than people make it out to be because there are actually really cool-looking designs and characters outside of the main 2 protagonists. I think another show that easily suffers this same problem is the Power Puff Girls where there is an obvious cast of diverse character designs but the perception of the "PPG art style" outside of the 3 main protagonists is non-existent. If I was to give some credit to PSG where it's due is that there is slight character development, yay! I am not a fan of Panty at all and her character makes me very uncomfortable but I did find some enjoyment in watching her get character development during the last arc of the first season. Even though both Panty and Stocking are dumb and rotten as hell it's clear Stocking is slightly more mature and seeing each of the sisters go through a brief period where they split up leaving Panty to do a lot of self-reflection, it's actually good? I would like to also add that PSG has a very good English dub and is probably one of the top English dubs I have heard when watching anime without subtitles. I don't think I will continue PSG if the second season ever comes out and I am certainly not ready for the culture war that will spawn from the second half of this anime when it finally drops but I was willing to give PSG a try since it is wildly popular.

Catherine Full Body - I think after playing a few games developed by Atlus I wanted to give Catherine Full Body a try. Unlike the previous games I have played by Atlus, Cathrine is a puzzle game and not an RPG. Catherine also includes a lot of elements similar to dating sims but I think I knew right away this game was more profound than that. At first, I deeply regretted buying this game at 50% off on the Nintendo Switch e-shop. I could not believe the horrible choices the protagonist made during the first part of the story. I'm easily made uncomfortable by gendered expectations in heterosexual relationships and Cathrine deals with this a lot but not in a way I would have ever expected. My feelings for this game immediately did a 180 when the character Rin was introduced into the story. I ended up appreciating this game an awful lot and think Cathrine has some of the best character development I've witnessed in media. There are a total of 13 endings in this game and so far I have played through and achieved one, which is Rin's true ending. Out of the 3 "Cathrines" you can pursue I went out of my way to begin a relationship with Rin. Apparently choosing Rin requires some amount of effort compared to Kathrine or Cathrine and I had no idea how careful you have to be when selecting dialogue options in order to begin her route because Rin's route felt so natural and effortless to me in this aspect. I feel like I had this unique experience while playing because my personal attraction is regardless of gender and I would have never guessed the biggest moment in Cathrine Full Body is when Rin is revealed to be a transgender woman. I feel that this aspect of Rin's character is so important and makes her probably the most optimal choice when pursuing a relationship with any of the characters. Out of the 3 women in Vincent's life that he has tragically wrapped himself up with, Rin is the most accepting of Vincent. Rin's open-minded nature has such a positive impact on Vincent's character development and growth as a person. I feel like there is a lot to be said about how the most accepting woman in Vincent's life that sees him for who he is regardless of his flaws, is in fact a trans woman. Rin's true ending is so meaningful to me and I think Vincent truthfully lives a happy life with her because their relationship isn't shaped by heteronormative expectations. Cathrine Full Body is so much more than just "the sex game" and has a very honest depiction of intimate relationships, commitment, and making the right choice all while some supernatural elements are mixed in.

[a-moth-to-the-light]

but then! sleep is mine. (nov 25, 2022)

My Tumblr (and irl! he's a real person it's wild) bestie requested that I start doing daily updates on my account, sort of like I did for Tranquil's Studyblr Challenge (which I still need to do the last question for, oops!), and who am I to deny the public their wishes? Now that planning is done and this feature has finally arrived, I hope that I'll be able to keep up with it to some extent as time goes on! Thanks for the idea, and let me know what kinds of things you want to hear about in these posts :)

The Day, In Short

So, on Tuesday night, I got zero hours and zero minutes of sleep, and I've been using the holiday to catch up on that! So I slept about ten hours last night + napped for two today, and, as per usual, got made fun of for it. But I do not care! *smug* Everyone is just jealous that I love sleep with my new meds--they've made my sleep way deeper and falling asleep easier, which has really improved my relationship with it! On the plane yesterday, I fell asleep before we were even in the air, and I didn't wake up once. The best flight experience ever :)

I've had trouble focusing on reading these past few days, though. I brought Lockwood & Co. book three with me to visit family, but my attempts to read have been pretty pathetic. I think the focus issues might be a mix of accumulated lack of sleep & anxiety (unfortunately VERY related), so I'll need to be a bit easier on myself when it comes to reading for the next week or so, I think. Shorter phases of focus, more reading out loud!

OMGOMG LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT

Wednesday: I'm visiting family right now, and my youngest sibling convinced me to start watching Wednesday on Netflix with him today. We got through the first two episodes, and I'm thoroughly entertained! I absolutely love the costuming, the way it creates very distinct, whimsical aesthetics for characters like Marilyn Thornhill, Enid, and Wednesday herself! I'm looking forward to seeing more, though now I'm craving a reread of The School for Good and Evil trilogy (the second trilogy doesn't exist to me, sorry not sorry!), which has the same deliciously discomfiting aesthetic, but with relationships I find a lot more compelling! (Let's just say a lot of crying happens in the series, and I love it for that!)

Partner in Crime: See, I keep leaving really sad songs on repeat and then wondering why I've been so moody and anxious. A few days ago it was Lana Del Rey's "Ultraviolence," and now I'm back to Lucy Dacus's "Partner in Crime," particularly the Spotify Sessions acoustic version. The guitar sounds so close by, rubbing nicely against my ears when I listen with earbuds, and the chorus gets me every time, which is perfectly consistent with past Lucy Dacus favorites (FOREVER HALF MAST FOREVER HALF MAST), where her fluid shifts in and out of her delicate higher range keep me in awe. Listen for how she sounds on "city that never sleeps" and cry, folks. CRY.

Wanna Know: So Irris made their debut back in July, apparently, but I didn't hear this song until it came on shuffle a week ago. I'm so glad it did, because I'm absolutely obsessed! It reminds me of Gugudan's "Shotgun" in terms of structure, with the main attraction of both being a bubblegum-pop prechorus that drops into a deadpan chorus, but I think "Wanna Know" really leaves its mark through the performances. I'm glad they put the rap in the bridge--it amplifies the energy so well, just like LE's bridge rap in "Up & Down"--and I find their vocals very satisfying and memorable! That rap is absolutely captivating, though--I'll be keeping a lookout for Liv in the future :)

things that make brain buzz

I'm not actively working on any big writing projects (outside of academic papers for school, that is!), but I have been reading and annotating an old favorite, the Lockwood and Co. series, which I'm really excited to do some writing about! I have so much to say about this bizarre, fantastic series and the impact it's had on me, to the point where I get pretty overwhelmed just thinking about it. I really struggle with long-term writing projects, ones where I want to cover a lot of content and a lot of ideas, so this is one avenue through which I'm hoping to practice formulating more expansive projects--a big step towards creating the kind of content I dream of!

I've also been collecting material for a more personal essay, one about my experiences with Alba Reche's music & winter. Her newest collection of music, honestamente triste, has reminded me of the many cold, isolating days her music has been my company throughout, and I've been feeling just sentimental enough to want to revisit them in writing.

Will I Do Anything Interesting Tomorrow?

There's a new Friendly Space Ninja video, so that's on my priority list for tomorrow! My focus issues with reading have unfortunately extended to YouTube listening, too, which is really sad because my little corner of YouTube brings me ridiculous amounts of joy and inspiration. I love referencing video essays in my writing for classes, and I've learned so much about the kind of writer I want to be from the YouTube creators I obsess over! I've still been saving videos in my to-watch list, though, so hopefully not too many will get lost in the shuffle during this phase!

Otherwise, I just need to take my flight home and find some good things to eat, because I've been missing out on meals / eating very lightly lately, and that's made things really tough for me :( I might go out for ramen, or make a quick Walmart run for sandwich wraps!

Quote of the Day!

OMG NO NOT HER COUSIN

-- me

[astonishinglegends]

Ep 291: American Bloodfalls with Tom Maxwell Part 1

"For millennia, showers of blood, known variously as blood falls, rains of blood, and blood rain, have been reported in sources both historical and literary. The earliest record comes from Homer's Iliad, in which Zeus makes it rain blood 'as a portent of slaughter."  -- Tonight's guest, Tom Maxwell

Description:

Bloodfalls and meat showers - phenomena that sound more like biblical plagues than historical events. Yet, reports of these bizarre occurrences peppered the American landscape for over a century. From Alabama to Massachusetts, Tennessee to California, eyewitnesses sometimes described small red clouds followed by downpours of blood, flesh, and viscera. Some were subjected to the red rain on entirely cloudless days. While many saw divine judgment, skeptics suspected elaborate hoaxes. Scientists proposed numerous theories ranging from vomiting vultures to atmospheric anomalies, while newspapers spread the stories far and wide. But what really happened during these grisly events? Were they connected or separate phenomena with similar descriptions? And why did they seem to stop abruptly at the turn of the 20th century? Join us as we delve into this bloody chapter of American history with our special guest, Tom Maxwell, former frontman of the Squirrel Nut Zippers and bloodfall expert, for Part 1 of this 2-part series. Together, we'll examine not just what fell from the sky, but what these incidents reveal about 19th-century America - its people, its science, and its struggle to make sense of a rapidly changing world. From the fringes of meteorology to the depths of human nature, this is the strange, gruesome, and utterly captivating story of America's reign of blood and meat.

Reference Links:

The “Kentucky Meat Shower”

“The Great Kentucky Meat Shower mystery unwound by projectile vulture vomit” on Scientific American

Nat Turner’s Rebellion

“UFO legend: Horse found dead and mutilated 55 years ago in Colorado gets new life at roadside attraction from The Gazette

Shakers – “a millenarian restorationist Christian sect”

Charles Fort

“Ep 230: Charles Hoy Fort – Our Supernatural Father Part 1” on AstonishingLegends.com

“Ep 231: Charles Hoy Fort – Our Supernatural Father Part 2” on AstonishingLegends.com

Tom Maxwell’s website, TomMaxwell.com

Tom Maxwell’s essay, “"For the Scrutiny of Science and the Light of Revelation": American Blood Falls” an article from Southern Cultures 18:1, Spring 2012 from The University of North Carolina Press

“The God of Pity” by Tom Maxwell on Medium.com

Tom Maxwell’s book, “A Really Strange and Wonderful Time – The Chapel Hill Music Scene: 1989-1999”

Lebanon, Tennessee

“Oakville Blobs: In 1994, Mysterious Gelatinous Goo Rained Down On Washington” on IFLScience.com

Blood Falls in Antarctica

Location:

Lebanon, Tennessee, the town near where a bloodfall occurred on August 17, 1841

Suggested reading:

Suggested Listening:

Two Girls One Ghost Podcast

Would you believe there was a podcast that was haunted? It’s called Two Girls One Ghost. Hosts Corinne and Sabrina didn’t want to believe it at first, but seven years later and after hundreds of encounters submitted by listeners, they can no longer ignore it. Two Girls One Ghost is the most haunted podcast in America! We’re talking ghosts, EVPs in episodes, spirits making contact with listeners, orbs darting through their YouTube videos, and so much more. Paranormal enthusiasts, Sabrina and Corinne explore the deepest, darkest, spookiest places in the world, delivering doses of research, history and spine-tingling tales. If possessed kids crawling backwards up walls, campers entranced in fairy orgies, and creatures chasing drivers down back roads is your thing, tune in to Two Girls One Ghost wherever you listen to podcasts. New episodes are released every Thursday, and Sunday. And now, you can join Sabrina and Corinne every Tuesday on Patreon and share your own haunting tale LIVE on their Campfire Stories. Join the summerween trend and satisfy your spooky itch with Two Girls One Ghost, but be warned, side effects might include a haunting or two, so listen at your own risk!

From the Astonishing Legends Network:

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CREDITS:

Episode 291: American Bloodfalls Part 1. Produced by Scott Philbrook & Forrest Burgess. Audio Editing by Sarah Vorhees Wendel of VW Sound. Music and Sound Design by Allen Carrescia. Tess Pfeifle, Producer and Lead Researcher. Ed Voccola, Technical Producer. Research Support from The Astonishing Research Corps, or "A.R.C." for short. Copyright 2024 Astonishing Legends Productions, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

[hoardofshinythings]

Hauled In To Fandom Kicking and Screaming

Look. I usually dance along the periphery of fandoms, ones I have actually watched the shows of and ones I am literally just in it for one or two good fan fiction writers. It is VERY rare I see a character and it actually makes me want to get in to a fandom. My ADHD/Autism combo makes it hard for me to get in to the mood to watch shows okay? Movies maybe. but series? oh lordy I have been bitten and burned so many times I am gun shy as heck with getting in to watching a show. I have gotten involved with to many shows for them to get axed for attracting the 'wrong' fans (Teen Titans, Motor City), or bizarre choices to take everything that attracted people to the first seasons and toss them in the trash and stick a sexy white woman in peril as the main into it's place. Weirdly specific but the fact it has happened several times is... something (Grimm, Sleepy Hollow). Or later episodes fall down the Stairs of Stupid Out of Character Decisions and Mistakes An Idiot Plot for a Plot Twist. I'm sure at least a few shows popped in your head at that one!

So I am .... reticent.... to get in to anything these days. Enter Eddie Munson.

Look. Stranger Things is in the background of the internet fandom zeitgeist. Okay creepy monsters, 80's, people actually LOOK like they are from the 80's and aren't airbrushed into an inch of their lives. Made a huge splash in its first season then kinda... floated in the background for the next few seasons.

Nothing about it really grabbed me. Looked fun. Not enough to attract my scraggly feral arse.

Then THIS little curly haired muppet man starts showing up on my dashes.

Eddie before disaster.

See. I KNOW this fucker. See I was a wee barely existing bean in the mid 80's. I have a brother who is over a decade older then me who thankfully I grew up having a great relationship with. So he was a TEENAGER during the 80's. Closer to Henderson's age then Munson's during 86. But I look at this fucker, and I KNOW him. Eddie Munson is the cobbled together pieces of my older brothers friend circle. The hair from one. The weed from another. The fashion from a few of them. My brother was more of a Johnathan type fashion and music wise (not personality), but a lot of his buddies were heavy metal or grunge. And more then half of them were in to DnD and comic books. Two of them were always writing or playing an instrument while hanging out at our house or back yard. They gamed at our house or at the drug dealer guys house (I didn't know he was back then cause again, baby wee me, but I remember he did cool smoke ring tricks and got my younger brother and I a huge pile of dinkies, so A+ dude to me) because hey, GUESS WHAT, the Satanic Panic was even a thing in but fuck nowhere Eastern Canada. My dad was Atheist (GASP) and my mom was vaguely Anglican (Sunday every week for socializing) but had logical heads. Mom was scared at first when my older brother got in to DnD, but despite being a early 20's young mother to two toddlers and a teenage step son with the whisper of church ladies in her ears... she sat down and learned about it. Found out it's just creative writing within a group with math. So we were the one place other than the drug dealers house they could have their games without judgement. Obviously our house was nicer so they were over a LOT. Which with it being the 80's, and both our parents busy nurses overworked and always on call, that resulted in a bunch of teenage scrungey boys babysitting tiny me and baby brother while playing DnD, practicing, hanging out, or whatever. I KNOW this fucker. I know Eddie Munson. All the pieces that make him I know them because I grew up with them. I have NEVER had a character give me a whiplash feeling of nostalgia for the past like THIS MOTHERFUCKER. Yes. I got bitch slapped by a blorbo in to watching a show so I can actually tell if the character is written believably (much more elastic then you think) or if the fandom is full of poop.

So I watched short snaps of just his scenes. God dammit he is Like That. Well NOW I have to go back to the beginning of the show because guess fucking what you shit heads. I want to actually try writing fanfiction. I want to making Eddie Munson SUFFER my twisted form of love.

I haven't done that in over 10 years. I've kept up with character writing, but nothing beyond role play games. This FRIGGER is making me dig up so many things from the graveyard of my fandom enjoyment past I may as well accept my new life as a Necromancer.

The show is meh, I know this, but the world has so many options of PROMISE. MUSIC THEMES. the fucking 80's! The characters, once again, do NOT look like airbrushed, they actually look like 80's awkward kids and adults and people. There's mullet's and mens crop tops and short shorts. All on the background of Modern (ish) Suburban Hidden World Fantasy with a good and proper horror twist. Shitty government fuckery. Monsters. Weird powers with no real explanation as to WHY. POTENTIAL!!!! SO yeah. There was a shiny toy in the sandbox (Eddie Munson) and I'm joining in, cat turds and cigarette butts be damned. I am going to try and slap in my observations of each episode as I go. Have fun watching me hate but love it all.

[subbyfoxelf]

[tv review] tng 7x13-14 (1994), one of which is the episode where bev fucks a ghost

7x13 “homeward”

how many fucking times does captain picard need to learn this exact same lesson about the prime directive? i feel like we’ve done this one like five times now.

no, you shouldn’t let an entire planet die if you can easily do something about it? that is literally never what you should do, and if you feel like you’re backed into a corner where that’s the only thing you can do either your rule sucks or you’re applying it wrong? but either way, clearly don’t do that?

worf’s surprise adoptive brother is 100% right about the spirit of the prime directive vis-a-vis the letter of the prime directive, beverly is 100% right that choosing not to intervene is also a choice, and what’s more she’s made that argument every other time this has come up which is actually some of the best character writing she’s gotten so given how often i complain about her & deanna’s bad writing i do need to extend credit here. and she keeps getting proven right so idk why picard always has to go back to zero in these arguments.

the worst part is when the planet’s atmosphere dramatically dissipates and picard turns to the bridge crew and starts lecturing them on how what they’re seeing is tragic but necessary to uphold the federation’s values, and it’s just so gratingly tone deaf i just fucking hate this bit of writing.

because i think what best reflects the federation’s values in this episode is when that one guy escapes from the simulation and stumbles into ten forward clearly terrified and basically everyone rushes to help him & reassure him. deanna especially shines in this scene, and while i really don’t like where this plot eventually ends up going, chalk up another actually good moment given to one of the show’s women main characters.

the central plot between worf and his foster brother is just… not it, imo? it comes out of nowhere and goes right back to nowhere, because we’d never heard of this character before and we’re never going to hear about him again. on top of that the whole “grrr brothers grrr boys can’t talk about their feelings grrr” shit is just so not my vibe regardless. c-rank

7x14 “sub rosa”

yeah so i’m giving the episode where dr. beverly crusher fucks a ghost a passing grade, and i actually rather seriously considered giving it a higher grade. i’m sorry, i get why it’s so infamous, but if you’re approaching it completely seriously it’s just not nearly as bad as some of the show’s worst episodes, nor is it boring? and if you’re approaching it unseriously, which obviously you should because holy shit it’s the episode where dr. beverly crusher fucks a ghost???, it’s a lot of fun to clown on.

planet scotland is just a bizarre choice, and while we’re on the subject i’m sorry but scottish fabio is just not that hot? like, he’s just… a guy! everyone is acting like he’s this strikingly attractive heartthrob, but he’s just… super mediocre!

anyway yeah, this episode does totally deserve its reputation and i’m not trying to argue that it’s a good tng episode because holy shit i think basically every decision that went into it was bad and wrong? but it just doesn’t strike me as remotely hateable in the way you hear it talked about sometimes. c-rank

[ohtobealady]

more disassociation thoughts:

Cora and Robert’s little simpering exchange in S2 after Cora’s ✨convinced✨ Robert to ask Doctor Clarkson for “a favor”

After he’s told her he’s talked to Clarkson, Cora’s “Quite right. Thank you, darling,” and Robert’s little *heart eyes* at her and then quick little sobering glance to O’Brien before he leaves is great.

Followed by O’Brien’s impressed, “Well done, m’lady!” because she darn well knows how that must’ve gone down.

Oh lol. Cora’s proud look that is very “Why, thank you. Indeed. I understood the assignment” back at her, an underrated moment for sure.

LOL what on earth took place for him to be so glowing and giddy? *giggle*

Honestly, S2 Cora … she didn’t really neglect Robert in the way she says she has when she apologizes in E8 (?). She was busier, obviously, but in nearly every episode of the season, she is either boosting his self-esteem (“I don’t think you’re a fool!”), or kissing his cheek with a quick explanation for her busyness, or getting noticeably *fans self* hot and bothered by his authoritative rage over Isobel’s demands — another underrated scene. Cora, you are SO gently chaotic lol.

Anyway, I feel this definitely supports the idea that she totally knew about Jane to some degree and in some way. Women really do always know.

(There’s that Violet line in S4 regarding Tony Gillingham, that if they know Tony isn’t acting committed, then they can be sure Mabel knows.)

More Jane thoughts: Obviously Robert was depressed, and I think it was very much a casting decision to have Jane’s character be similar in appearance to Cora (as far as fair complexion, bright blue eyes, dark hair). In Jane, Robert is attracted to the vulnerable, sweet wife that prewar Cora had been to him — the whole “Angel of the home” stereotype. Jane needed help when she dropped those apples. She needed help to provide for her little son. She was sweet mannered and obviously attracted to him, too. I won’t go too much into how I still hate how the end of that storyline went; however, I do think Robert’s character allows for him to have a wandering eye sort of incited by depression — especially considering his station and the reality of that time period.

Doesn’t change the fact, though, that I still feel like he wouldn’t have had that bizarre exchange with Jane after Cora nearly freaking died and he was in that chair in her room with his head hanging in his hands, Clarkson explaining to him that they’ve done everything they can, saying things like “my whole world gone over a cliff in the course of a single day” or watching Matthew lose Lavinia. I never really could understand that part (when he kisses her goodbye), except that maybe his kindness extends that far and his realization that Jane really was in an “impossible situation,” not in the least because he would never love her, his heart really did belong to his wife. Even if he was too depressed to feel anything but numbness.

Ooo, sorry. Tangent.

Anyway. Just thought I’d air out my fun little thoughts I had while mopping my kitchen. Ciao.

[the-bejeesus]

When people talk about anime that inspired them to work out, the examples they give are usually JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, Dragon Ball Z, or Baki. Some shonen with extremely muscular men who accomplish incredible feats.

But for me the anime that inspired me is to excercise is Mob Psycho 100. The one with an underweight protagonist with no stamina. As a comedic plot point, he joined a workout club even though he does not excel in exercising and has amazing talents that negate the need to be fit.

I’ve tried to work out or diet a lot of times. But there were always one of two problems that would make me stop. 1: A lack of results. Fluctuation of weight or stagnation of weight can be quickly discouraging. 2: A selfish reason, like trying to be more attractive to girls. A reason that once served as motivation can turn into guilt if it’s seen for the vanity that it is.

Power dieting and swearing off junk food and fast foods can feel torturous, and the desire to eat something unhealthy can be tempting. When working out I did a lot of heavy lifting, and avoided cardio. This is because a lot of gurus said cardio doesn’t burn much fat, and intense exercise turns your fat into energy and uses it to build muscle. Thus began a vicious cycle where I was either on a death mission trying to become super fit in 6 months, or gave up and was incredibly unhealthy and depressed for 6 months.

What Shigeo taught me is that exercise can be more than a means to an end, it can be an experience. For Shigeo this experience is friendship.

The incredible character trait of everyone in the Body Improvement Club is their extreme friendship. They don’t care why Shigeo is doing this, they don’t care if Shigeo catches up to them in body fitness any time soon. They are all so proud and are quite literally willing to die for him.

For me, my experience in excercise is exploration. The cardio I once swore off as “ineffective” is now my primary form of excercise. Biking on trails, jogging across towns. Rather than trapping myself to a treadmill in my living room, I try to see the beautiful planet I live on. On a treadmill I could step off the second I was exhausted, but outside any distance I run/bike has to be ran/biked back home. There’s an excitement to pushing my limits, making sure I have enough water, and weighing my risks.

My dieting is exploration in a difference sense. Grocery shopping, trying new fruits or small snacks, going organic or finding healthier alternatives to things. No counting carbs, no counting fats, no counting calories. Just planning out a month of affordable produce and small meals. I don’t think I could ever get a huge meal at McDonald’s again, because every time I’m just going to think “14.67 huh? With that kinda money I could buy 16 pounds of apples, they’re .89c/lb at Sprouts. That’s a lot of apples.”

“But what about vanity, huh?” you might ask. Shigeo is not a shining example of selfless body improvement. He wants to get fit so that he has the courage to ask out a girl, the most popular girl in his school at that. And he doesn’t even like her for her personality or anything, just looks. It’s one of his biggest character flaws. Well the lesson here is to not find a selfless reason. Self-body improvement is called that for a reason, you’re improving your body for yourself. Getting a partner, being healthier and living longer, popping your pecs. Most reasons to excercise are selfish, but that’s okay. Selfishness is not always a negative thing. There’s a saying “you gotta help yourself before you can help others.” that includes fulfilling your own wants and being happy.

Once you’ve truly realized a goal and set to accomplish it, the vanity doesn’t matter. You’ve become one with the craft, and can look past your endgame. In one episode, Shigeo spends weeks training for a marathon, even though he’s never run nearly that far without fainting. All to impress Tsubomi. But when she’s cheering him on at the marathon, he’s too focused to acknowledge her. He can’t stop because he wants nothing more than to reach top 10 in the marathon.

This circles back to what I said about the Body Improvement Club, and how they don’t care why Mob joined. They all once had their own reasons for wanting big muscles, or less fat, or more stamina. But they’ve all been in the game so long that none of that is that important anymore. They know so much about muscles, excercises, food, the human body.

Power dieting and heavy lifting have actually worked for me once or twice. I’ve been skinny, and even had some visible muscle buildup. But I never saw a skinny man in the mirror. I always saw someone that was quite chubby and had a long way to go. Other people saw a healthy young man but that didn’t matter to me, because I convinced myself I wasn’t doing this for others and my reasons were completely selfless.

Accepting that my reasonings for being healthier are selfish, in some ironic way, made me care less about fat loss and my appearance. I like the feeling that my blood is flowing that cardio gives me. I love the energy I get from eating vegetables. I don’t check the scales for at least a month. Sometimes I’ll eat a burger or wings about once a week or so, I haven’t sworn off anything like the plague. I just make sure not to overtreat myself. And for the first time in years I weigh under 250. I don’t know how much I weigh exactly right now, but I don’t care. I have healthy habits, and I know if I keep it up maybe one day I’ll weigh even less than 225, or less than 200.