#every single thing that happened during the last few months was a pr game to him | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hollyhomburg · 6 years ago

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Dance To This

(Hybrid! Seokjin x Blind! Reader x Hybrid! Namjoon)

W/C: 14.8k

TAGS: Eventual polyamory, Blindness, Service hybrid au, non-explicit sex, non-physical intimacy, mentions of anxiety and depression,

A/N: This is so long wow! sorry it took me longer than i thought to get this out. namjoon dosent come in until the end of this but he’ll be in the next one. Also theres a bit of a social media au in this one! if you like this- please consider donateing to my patreon here!

(This is so fucking self indulgent I love it.)

- Seokjin was the runt of his litter from a prized show hybrid, he’d never met his mother- but everyone has always told him how much he looked like her; from his plump lips to his long limbs.

- The only thing he lacked was her grace- which happened to be his downfall.

- He was the only one out of his siblings that hadn’t been sold off by the age of 8. Seokjin lacked grace on the runway, often tripping over the carpet on his way in, his shoulders so wide that every single swivel seemed to lumber.

- Which is why- despite the fact that he was quite good looking, With silky black ears and a shiny tail that he kept meticulously groomed- he was sent to an adoption agency once he reached the age where it became apparent he was no longer going to be a show hybrid.

- Deemed UN showable by his first owner at the young age of 10- it only went downhill from there.

- He was adopted by another show couple, and then sent back when he tripped during a competition.

- And then he was sent to another show couple. And then returned for a third time after an incident evolving another show hybrid who Seokjin had accidentally stepped on- crippling him for the next competition.

- He’d been banned from all competitions after that. A laughing stock, his dreams crushed into dust. It had been a mercy almost- to be transported 2 city’s over to one of the largest adoption facilities in the country just shy of his 21st birthday.

- He didn’t mind the facility really- they taught them how to accomplish basic skills that they might be expected to do: like laundry and cleaning- things that Seokjin already knew how to do as a runt working in the show industry.

- Since He was one of the older hybrids at the facility he often helped take care of the little ones, looking after them just to pass the time- playing games with them and even staging a small fashion show every now and then in the communal playroom (of course with the consent of the caretakers.)

- The worst thing about the facility was their lack of outside time, though they always had excess to the outdoor play areas and were often taken out on walks they tried to limit their exposure to the real world as much as possible. The only time they really went out into society was to school visits and occasional PR stunts.

- At the facility, hybrids were grouped by age, and when he first got there he was one of 10 in the 18+ grouping. As years passed, that group shrunk significantly- until it was just him, just Seokjin in the older hybrids group. alone in his room full of empty bunk beds.

- It seemed like he would never get adopted. In the many years, he had cut himself off from the others a little bit, tired of the emotional trauma of having his friends whisked away never to see them again.

- A month before he turned 25, he was helping one of the hybrid children get ready for adoption, He overheard a conversation between two of the head caretakers that he had known for years.

- They were the ones that usually dealt with adoptions, and they’d personally overseen every failed meeting Seokjin had ever had with potential owners. it had been a few months since anyone had come to see him.

- “I hear there’s this breeding operation up north- we should call them and see if they want him, he is a purebred after all” and that was the last thing he wanted. The absolute last- possibility he would accept. He’d left and spent the rest of the day at the edge of the outside play area, looking over the hill and into the city, and refused to come back inside until they came and got him.

- He was too old to be adopted into a normal family now, he was too old- most parents looked for hybrids in the same age as their child (usually there was only one due to low birthrates) to be a companion for them and make the house seem more joyful and less empty.

- Only as the child grew and went off to school the hybrid remained as a second-class citizen, with few more rights than a house pet. There where even colleges that advertised hybrid friendly dorms as an incentive for prospective students.

- But now Seokjin was the same age as most college graduates.

- Every morning he woke with fear thinking that maybe today would be the day he was sold off as a stud, shivering as he thought about it. He had heard about the breeding operations- how they treated hybrids like little more than cattle.

- All these years without a home had Seokjin wondering if maybe he just wasn’t meant for that cozy life. A house with a family and laps to sit on and people to pet his ears. A warm body next to his to cuddle at night, someone to look after him and make sure he was taking care of himself.

- He wanted someone to take care of him and to be able to take care of them in return.

- But Part of him knew he wanted more for himself than just that, but he was a hybrid- and hybrid were only meant to be pets after all.

- But it didn’t seem like that was in the cards for him, to be a house pet- in the low moments of despair he poured over every mistake he’d made, how he stuttered the last time someone had come to look him over for adoption. How maybe he’d smiled a little too wide, showed his canines a little much.

- Maybe he wasn’t pretty anymore, maybe he wouldn’t even be any good at loving someone and they could tell just by looking at him.

- Maybe he just wasn’t worth a home.

- So when they call him into a meeting room- soft with light yellow walls and couches and a wide wooden table, he thinks the two head caretakers are going to try and break the news to him gently.

- “There is someone who wants to come to meet you today Seokjin, she’s a little bit unconventional as far as potential owners go, but we considered you because of your age and temperament.”

- Seokjin doesn’t know what he’s expecting, maybe an elderly woman, Seokjin might not mind an old lady as an owner. It might be fun, but then if they died in a few years he might just end up back here and even more UN-adoptable than before.

- Or maybe it was a hopelessly unsociable mid 30′s woman- but then they might end up lonely and horrible for other reasons, forcing him into bed when he didn’t want to which might have been just as bad as being a stud.

- Maybe they’d be someone horrible- but he swallows back his nervousness and reminded himself that anything would be better than the breeding operation.

- So when they lead you through the door, a young woman wearing a light grey sweater and a pair of ripped jeans, He’s more than a little surprised.

- His breath tightens in his chest. Because he didn’t expect someone like you- someone who looked so young, you must have been at least a few years younger than him.

- He didn’t expect to feel drawn to you like this. There was something beautiful about you that made Seokjin’s heart pulsate in his ears like thunder and his hands begin to sweat.

- Your features, which would separately have been plain, but when combined formed something like a masterpiece. His tail swished back and forth as he breathed in your sweet scent- something like spring mixed with vanilla.

- He didn’t expect to take in your every movement- He watches the way you wind the handle of your walking cane over your hands in a way that seems inherently nervous. Staring straight ahead with these listless but cloudy eyes, managing to look shy, like you can feel his eyes on you.

- Seokjin didn’t expect his new potential owner to be blind.

- One of the caretakers leads you to a chair to sit down across from and Seokjin watches you with careful eyes, unabashed to be so brazenly admiring you and looked you up and down freely knowing that you won't notice the impertinence.

- As a show hybrid, he would have been beaten for such an offense- looking into the eyes of someone who wasn’t a judge.

- Everything from your neutral attire to your natural face was rumpled but in kind of an adorable way, something about your curves was soft. There’s a knot under the side of your hair and Seokjin doesn’t think you’ve noticed but he can see it.

- The caretakers depart after a moment leaving you and Seokjin sitting at the table, some time to get to know each other, they say after you’ve exchanged names.

- “How long have you been blind?” Seokjin asks- unable to stop himself.

- “2 years ago, car crash, but I’m only partial- I can still sense light,” you say, gesturing to the widows. Most of the time you would have been offended by such a forward question about your disability, But this hybrid couldn’t have ever met someone that was blind before.

- “How long have you been here?” he bristles a little bit at your quick retort. But keeps it under wraps.

- Seokjin reconsidered his initial assessment of you- You might look meek- but the amusement toying at the edge of your mouth when you parried his blunt words made him think that you were anything but.

- “A few years- though I’ve been in and out of homes for the last 6 years since I-“ he trails off- shame choking his throat. as if you can sense his discomfort, you pick up effortlessly where he left off.

- “They told me that you used to be a show hybrid, they also told me that-“ you swallow, and Seokjin can tell that you’re choosing the words carefully. “That you really want to be adopted.” Seokjin makes a noise in assent.

- You remembered the caretaker's words, “he’s a little older and a little strange- not socialized enough, but he should be a fine companion for you.” there was something about the way they said fine that you didn’t like.

- His voice is nice though; sometimes deep and calm but somehow it sounded an inch away from laughing at a moment. You decide that you like Seokjin, even if you really don’t know anything much about him yet. You’re not surprised when he replies, “Yes, I really do.”

- The caretakers come back, with a folder full of paperwork, a little tentative because Seokjin had been almost adopted time and time again- and they know what will happen if you turn him down. But it seems their fears are dissolved.

- Because in all actuality- you really need a hybrid, not just anyone, however. Service dogs were slowly going out of use, but service hybrids, however, were becoming a pricey counterpart, more than 3 times as expensive as most service dogs.

- You come out and say it though before they had over the consent of adoption form to Seokjin. “The truth is: I still need help most days,” you start off. Wanting to be truthful to the hybrid with the good voice that sounded so hopeful. You don’t want to get him into something he doesn’t want.

- You talk him through it over the next house, making it abundantly clear that you’re looking for more of a service hybrid than anything else- but Seokjin’s answer doesn’t change whatsoever.

- Service hybrids start at 100k and from the look of your clothes- brand name but not designer- you certainly can’t afford one of those.

- Seokjin finds it in himself to not be disappointed. Reminding himself that being a service hybrid would be far better than the alternative. Being a caretaker himself is better than being nothing more than a stud, even if it’s not a companion like he really wants. and he’s willing to bet it will only take him a week to get pets out of you.

- So he jumps at the chance agreeing almost before they’ve finished outlining what he’ll need to learn- what you need him to be which is really just a guide when you have to leave the house to make getting around easier.

- Seokjin wouldn’t mind that at all. Anything to get him out in the world again.

- He hopes that maybe just maybe you’re not going to be one of the bad owners. The one that hits him or tries to force him into bed. And with your kind eyes and appearance, he doesn’t think you will be that way.

- All he has to do is take care of you right? Then you won't return him? The prospect of never being returned ever was another positive. You weren’t going to magically regain your sight. you’d always need him. It was the most secure placement he could hope.

- Seokjin barely gets the hang of is his first day- his hand hovering awkwardly when you reach for things unsure if he should grab them for you. You flinch more than once when his hands find yours without him saying it.

- You live in a light and airy 2-story loft with lots of windows and too many unused rooms near downtown and close to public transportation. Seokjin can only imagine how lonely it must have felt- with the noises of the city barely muted by the walls of your house.

- There’s even a small porch off the kitchen with wide double doors that swing out, a few steps down to a walled backyard that’s almost too small to be called a yard that’s covered with prickly crabgrass.

- The living room is a cozy affair, your couch fluffy and comfortable piled high with blankets. And wide bay windows that open out to look out on the street corner across from your house. Not that you can appreciate the view of the street and the city but you tell Seokjin that you like the way that the sunlight feels on your face and that sometimes you can even see shadows of things when the light is right.

- He’s surprised that you even have a television, a computer, and cellphone, he marvels a little over the voice and touch screen software that dictates to you and makes it possible for you to use the Internet.

- He gets a little shy when you tell him that you’ll get him his own once you get around to ordering it on the internet- seeing as the dictation soft where on yours might get a little annoying to use.

- Everywhere in the house, there’s evidence of the adaptations needed for you. The cups are all ridged so you can distinguish which ones you’re grabbing; the chairs at the small 4 seat dining table are light so that you don’t hurt yourself if you bump into them, which you still do often.

- The master suite where you sleep is on the first floor but your office and the spare rooms are on the second.one of them empty but the other sparsely furnished, Seokjin takes the corner room as his own.

- When you show it to him he goes quiet for a few minutes, it’s night already, and he’s got an excellent view of the city street below watching the red brake lights zigzag through the intersection. He knows that the sound of the car horns will keep him up at night and so will the light from the street lamps outside.

- “It’s so… loud” he says quietly, searching for the right word. But next to him you nod, understanding what he means, you vaguely remember what it looked like and how different it was from the countryside. The tangle and Pell-mell of it all.

- He’s a little overwhelmed with it all- he knows he dreamed about being able to get out of the facility but this-this mess of roads and cars and so many people is not what he expected, and maybe more than he bargained for. He can’t even imagine exploring it like he once wanted to now that he’s seen it.

- He’d have to take you along though- seeing as all unaccompanied hybrids where taken to the pound by hybrid control.

- You reach out for his arm, surprisingly finding it in the first try- and tell him to take it slow, that he’ll have time; the city will be there when he wants it.

- It’s such a kind sentiment that it shocks Seokjin as you turn and head down the stairs to your own room. Shoving down the warm feeling that your kindness ignites in him and saving it for another less overwhelming time.

- Eventually, he gets the story out of you, it was an accident that blinded you- and the house was bought via a massive settlement you got from the company that had caused it through negligence.

- You’d moved to the city for college before the accident and never left despite your family’s urgings to come home. You didn’t like how they coddled you, how they thought you couldn’t do things now that you were blind.

- Seokjin supposes he’ll meet them one day.

- The first few weeks are a strained sort of balance between the two of you- full of lots of tripping and stuttering words as you get used to cohabitation.

- But he doesn’t hate it- likes it even sometimes. The way that the two of you dance around each other even if not knowing if he should help you makes him anxious.

- In the first few days, Seokjin moves around the furniture so much that you can’t go into his room without tripping, so you avoid that space- though you tell Seokjin that he can repaint it any color he wants. You’ll go to the paint store across town together when he’s decided what color he’d like.

- You give Seokjin a surprising amount of freedom- more than he’s used too. The first few days he gets a little frustrated, he doesn’t know why he’s here. There doesn’t seem to be much to help you with- you have a cleaning service come in to clean once a week and though you go on walks every day and occasionally need to bring him to meetings uptown in the financial district. Most of the time you just work or watch tv.

- The paint arrives the day after his laptop and cell phone do, and while you work across the hall in his office, music and the smell of pain seep under your door, when you walk out into the hall you can sometimes hear him humming. Along to the music He plays from his laptop

- He finds himself awake one night- to make tea to help him go back to sleep and he sits at the round table in your kitchen tapping around on a new ap he discovered that day called Instagram when you come out of your bedroom.

- You say hello to him while you go to the cabinet that holds the bowls and He watches you pile too sweet cereal into your bowl at almost midnight and sit down across from him. His nose wrinkles at the artificial smell of it

- “Don’t you want to eat something real? Like a meal?”

- Seokjin was more than capable of cooking for himself, and he had made dinner for himself earlier that night- but you’d made it clear that it wasn’t his responsibility to make sure you did things like eat.

- “Ugh- I don’t really cook, never got the hang of it again” you confess, “microwavable food is about as good as It gets with me, and I’m out, we’ll have to go to the store tomorrow.”

- Seokjin had never thought of himself as much of a cook- all of his meals had been made for him in the adoption center and before that he’d been too young and his diet watch too closely for him to eat what he wanted.

- But he makes you poached eggs with a makeshift hollandaise sauce the next day because really- making two portions was just as easy as making one and he didn’t want to know what you did with the sugary cereal when you were out of milk (which you were thanks to him).

- You laugh when he calls fruit loops an atrocity of the food world. “I- uh, made a little too much if you want some?” you couldn’t tell that he’d purposefully cracked 6 eggs instead of three.

- He feels a strange sense of budding pride when he sees your face light up with you eat his simple eggs, “This is really good! Holy crap” you say appreciatively making a noise of appreciation at the food. And Seokjin is glad that you can’t see him blush at your compliment.

- The shopping center was surprisingly less intimidating then he thought- he’d seen them in movies but had never been in one in person, but he likes it, and you live close by it- only a 10-minute walk away.

- He carries two bags and you carry one home- carrying the milk in the other while you’re arm and arm with him. It’s easy for him to guide you; it surprises him that he learns the way back so easily.

- Seokjin starts to cook for the both of you after you assure him that you really don’t care if he does, Though you do get a little bit annoyed once because he doesn’t put things back into the same spot.

- At the mild scolding- which resulted after you put salt and not sugar in your morning coffee, was quickly remedied by you clueing in Seokjin to your system.

- Then he discovers something called the food network and he’s really done for. Starting to keep it going in the back round whenever he cooks, even writing down a few recipes to try, quickly amassing a stack of them to try.

- Seokjin loves the rhythm of the knife against the cutting board, the building of the burning oil as he adds the ingredients to the pan, the smell changing and how he can almost taste what he’s making before he’s even done with it. He likes it when you poke your head out from your office and call down to him that whatever he’s making smells good.

- The two of you fall into an easy rhythm.

- Most days you’ll wake up, eat a quiet breakfast with him and then go up to your office on the second floor, a room which Seokjin had been in only a few times- to get you for lunch and once, because he couldn’t figure out how to shut off the water in the shower.

- Seokjin watches you sometimes in the early mornings, the way that you’ll read your brail books over morning coffee, hair half in front of your face- he wants to reach out and tuck it behind your ear but he doesn’t- worried that it might startle you.

- He’s gathered that you’re some sort of consultant after he hears you on the phone arguing with some business executive- whatever it is that you do- you must be pretty good at it- since it seems like you’ve done fairly well for yourself if leisure by which you conduct your daily life is anything to judge by, he doesn’t think even a settlement could cover this.

- You know it must not be easy for your hybrid- to not be around people very often, to not have freedom to go out and do his own thing while you where stuck at home working- you make the effort to be a more engaging person for your hybrid, taking more than one daily walk or even supplying things for him to do.

- Then he discovers YouTube and starts making his own cooking videos. The first few are shaky and unrefined but he amasses a few followers in the first week, even more as he continues to make videos. You listen to the first few at his urging, laughing when he makes puns.

- “I’m not yolk-ing when I say this scallion pancake recipe is the best guys!” “Thanks for pudding up with me, guys!” “I yam so thankful for all of your wonderful compliments” he quickly becomes somewhat of a star.

- He reads the comments to you sometimes, “I would love to have you as my hybrid” some of them write, “your ears are so cute aigooo~” and you two laugh at the more thirsty ones, though Jin admits it feels nice to be praised- even if it is just from strangers on the internet.

- You’re not surprised that his daily vlog “eat Jin” becomes popular- there is something magnetic about your hybrid- he often gets comment complementing him on his nice voice and his technique.

- He records when you’re working most of the time so you rarely feature in his videos- but he does film you one time when he makes a pie, shouting “she liked it!” from behind the camera. Your head rising in his direction looking perplexed, cutting off just as the piece of pie falls from your fork. Most of the time he closes out the video with a short video of the two of you eating it.

- People have more than a few questions after Jin shows them you- obviously his owner to his few thousand subscribers he’s gotten over the last month but he keeps them at by for now.

- After his first video gets so much attention He knocks on the door to your office before entering, leaning his shoulder half in and half out of the room when your head lifts up from the computer that is activated by voice commands.

- He clutches the grocery list in his hands, as you ask him what’s up and he replies shyly, “I um- I saw this recipe for chicken pot pie on the television and we don’t have all of the ingredients or the pan I’d need and I was wondering if you could take a break and go with me?”

- You stretch- arching your back like a cat, Seokjin blushes when your shirt pulls up and he can see more of your skin. “Give me 30 minutes- I’m almost with my analysis and they need it by tonight.”

- A few minutes later you’re wandering downstairs and going to your room to retrieve your keys and your shoes. Seokjin’s waiting by the front door by the time you’re ready- calling out to you to let you know he’s there.

- You sense his hesitation, the way he lingers by the door toeing on his shoes, “what?” you ask, and you hear Seokjin let out a breath.

- “it’s just- your hair- do you mind if I?” your hand goes up instantly to the back of your head- finding your hair a little rumpled from sleep and from work, you frown but nod at his request, he scampers off, you head back to the kitchen while he comes back with your hairbrush, pulling out the chair on the kitchen table for you to sit, you sink down and pull the hair out of the edge of your jacket.

- Seokjin is nothing if not gentle- but then again he always is, the smooth run of your brush through your hair and the way he makes sure not to pull too hard at the tangles is careful. It feels nice- the hair on the back of your neck sticking up and making shivers go down your spine.

- “Have you done this before.” Seokjin makes a noise of assent. “When I was a show hybrid I would sometimes help with the younger kids- but I wasn’t a good enough stylist to make my upkeep costs worth it- not that I didn’t try.” He says, it’s the most personal words that he’s said since your conversation in the adoption Centre but they come easy.

- “I’m sorry that it didn’t work out for you- it seems like you really liked it.” Seokjin nods before he realizes that they’re no way you could know he’d agreed so he makes a noise, his ears flicking and his tail swishing,

- “I really wanted it to work at one point- but don’t worry, I like living here it feels like home.” he says out loud- not realizing that he’s saying it until its already out of his mouth, he covers his mouth with one hand but below him still seated you’re only smiling, and laughing a little.

- “Well then” he can hear a soft happiness in your voice, as he pulls through the last knot in his hair. “Let's go get stuff for pie.”

- Seokjin realizes quickly after that- that he really does enjoy taking care of you, and he doesn’t think it has anything to do with his latent want to be some sort of stylist or his desire to be kept and not go back.

- He likes it here because of you, he’d never had someone to call his own or someone to belong to but he certainly feels like he belongs here.

- Every time you let him comb your hair, or when he messes with the way your clothes are laying on you, untucking your shirt if it gets snagged- he feels this bazar possessive feeling well up in him. Fussing just to fuss and sate it sometimes, More than once he’s had to shove down the urge to pull you close. Especially when you pass other hybrids in the street.

- You don’t seem immune or uncomfortable with the familiar way Seokjin starts to touch you, blushing sometimes and smiling more. His hip brushes yours in a quiet hello in the mornings, your arms link closer when you walk, and you’ll lean into him when you’re in a particularly crowded place.

- Seokjin is just starting to think that he’s gotten used to the city when you tell him that you’ll have a meeting uptown in the financial district soon, where the buildings tower over the streets like cathedrals, Seokjin starts to feel anxious being walled in, but enjoys the subway ride.

- He wears the nicest black slacks and button up that he owns, while you wear a simple dress and low boots. Seokjin is allowed to sit in on the meeting and watches in awe as you transform from this soft and quiet person into this assured businesswoman, though he can see you crumple with exhaustion the second you get home.

- “ugh I hate those people” you gripe, facedown on the couch. “Come on you did so well! They certainly seemed impressed,” he said, his hands going to slide off your shoes and tossing them in the entryway, affectionately rubbing at your ankles.

- “You really think so?” you say sounding unsure, giggling and a little surprised when you throw your arms around him after he tells you that yes you did. But he returns your hug immediately, his tail thumping happily against the back of the couch.

- Seokjin makes sure that he makes you get out of the house at least once a day- eventually becoming bold enough to ask you for walks- usually on your lunch hour. Though sometimes in the afternoon when the light gets all golden and the garden path in the local park smells like freshly turned earth.

- You like it. And you tell him that you do more than once. Without Seokjin- before when you’d gone on walks it had been scary, you’d never been sure quite where you’d been going.

- Your phone with the voice commands an option that made it feel impersonal and noisy when all you wanted to do was listen into the world. You’d always been unsure if there was something or someone watching you. Paranoia and anxiety getting the best of you.

- You still kept your walking stick in your bag with you when you walked- but you didn’t need it when Seokjin would take your hand in his.

- What was better was the way he described people, usually in quiet voice under his breath that only you could hear- “the roots on the trees here look like they where some sort of monster that was frozen with the way their looping over each other- but it’s not scary more pretty.”

- “I love the way you describe the world- like its all somehow so strange but fascinating to you.” Seokjin just laughs his gorgeous laugh and runs a hand through his hair. Still unused to you giving him compliments but glowing with the praise.

- Or sometimes he could catch someone looking at you “that woman has the worse taste in clothing- I don’t care who you think you are mauve and orange do not go together- she has no right to give us such a dirty look”

- Seokjin makes you laugh, and smile more than you have in years- more than you have in a long time. Since even before your accident. But as always, there’s only a matter of time before you have a bad day. Or a few bad days in a row.

- Seokjin realizes it when he comes downstairs a little later than usual and finds no coffee brewing in the machine, the light turned off under your door which had never happened- you usually slept with the light on claiming the faint glowing left you with a sense of security.

- And he guesses your still asleep- after all you where a bit between clients at the moment- your next assessment wasn’t due until the last quarter of the year and you deserve a day to sleep in.

- When you still haven’t come out by lunch Seokjin gets worried- what if you’d fallen in your bathroom? What if you’d knocked yourself out or something? - He knocks at your door, and when you don’t answer he calls your name. He cracks open the door, sees you hunched body underneath blankets.

- Over the last few weeks, Seokjin’s started to know your scent better, and he can tell the faint off scent the twines with yours that they’res something wrong- that you’re sick. Closes it again, an hour later he comes back with soup and some fresh squeezed orange juice (because he refused to give you Tropicana when the natural alternative was so much better)

- “I figured you might be sick?” he says, teeth biting into his lower lip as he sits at the foot of your queen bed, he can tell you’re awake. He doesn’t gather how you’re sick until you start talking.

- Your voice is rough and choked- though not in the way it would get from a cough, it’s like you’ve been crying, and the realization is like an electric shock to his body.

- “I’m fine Jin I just want to sleep. Can you close the door on the way out?”

- He’d been so happy here the last 2 months, he didn’t even stop to realize whether or not you were. His ears pin to the back of his head as he immediately starts to wonder if it’s him that’s making you unhappy. But he hadn’t done anything wrong the day before. Hadn’t knocked over anything or lead you into a pole on accident again.

- As he breathes in deep, the discomfiting scent intertwined with yours- the harsh bite of cinnamon intertwined with the vanilla.

- “Y/n...” he says, leaning over to touch your folded legs, at his comforting touch you shrink into a ball and pull them to your chest, pulling your whole body underneath the blanket.

- “Please just go Jin,” Your voice comes out muffled. The human part of him urges him not to agree while something primal wants to follow your instructions- warring with the part of him that also wants to protect and care for you.

- But his protective side wins out. He sucks on his lower lip “Okay- but I’m going to leave this here ok” he indicated the food on your side table, you don’t nod but Seokjin leaves the room and closes the door behind him.

- He comes in again that night and tries to get you to eat something but you hide underneath the blankets holding them down so that he can’t pull them off of you.

- The soup next to you is cold. He takes it and throws away angrily.

- He doesn’t know how to help you and it’s driving him absolutely crazy.

- By the second day, Jin has taken to sitting outside your bedroom door in case you call for him, worry wearing lines into his lower lip with how much he bites at it. He sleeps on the couch, all through the night he can hear your quiet sobs, more than once he gets up and goes to the door, frustrated with himself that he’s letting you be in such distress but unable to push through the door and comfort you.

- He wants to knock but he never does.

- By the third day Seokjin tries the door to your room opening it to find you still under the covers hidden, he peels back the sheets opposite you and crawls into your bed. You stir a little bit, but don’t move away when he shimmies closer to you and pulls your small form against his chest,

- You’re shaking in his arms, though something about the way you melt a little when he runs his fingers through your hair, trying to detangle it makes him think it’s not because of him. He lets out a high-pitched whine that wakes you from your last bout of drowsiness.

- The warm body enveloping you is achingly familiar though he’s never been so close to you before, his scent musky but clean like cotton pressed against your nose, you didn’t think your hybrid was quiet so broad shoulders, but now pressed chest to chest with him you realize how much he dwarfs you.

- “Honey,” he says softly, his voice pained with worry, “I’ve made some of your favorite dishes again, do you think that maybe you could eat some of it for me? I’m so worried about you.” he confesses.

- You shiver a little at the pet name, but shake your head against his chest. Jin smells so nice, sort of like something spicy and floral rolled all into one,

- “For me?” he pleads, he nuzzles his face into the top of your head, his voice cracking a little bit, he feels you melt more, and then holds his breath as you nod, he’s shooting up to go retrieve your plate- already made in the kitchen.

- When he comes back, he can finally see your face, your red puffy face, and the blood vessels above your eyes, which have burst under your skin from days of sobbing red and angry. And it scares him a little bit- he’s never known someone to cry quite that hard.

- He doesn’t ask you why- worried that it would prompt you to shrink back under the covers again and disappear from him.

- The two of you eat dinner curled up under your bed barely talking and by the time you’re finished Jin manages to convince you to lay on the couch with him and watch some late night television under 5 different blankets, even the one from his room.

- He picks you up in his strong arms- and even you have to admit- it feels so strange to trust that he’ll hold your weight- after having no one to hold onto for so long.

- It feels good too.

- You’re surprised when Jin doesn’t set you on the couch, instead of sitting with your back pressed against the armrest and your thighs across his lap. Your cheek pressed against the warm skin of his shoulders, the television blaring softly in the background- just the news. He falls asleep with his cheek rested against the top of your head.

- The next morning he drags you out of bed to walk to a café all the way across town breakfast, you resist at first- but then agree pouting when he says he’ll brush your hair before you go out.

- After you confessed to him that it felt nice when he brushed your head the other day he’s been holding it over you to bribe you with things, (to which Jin teased “someone’s got a little hybrid in them”)

- You must have taken a shower last night because the smell of sadness no longer clings to you. And though when you come back from the walk you go back to your room to nap- Seokjin feels like he’s won a little battle.

- He quickly realizes that you have your good days and your bad days, on your good days Seokjin doesn’t even have to ask you to do things with him, on the bad days- well all you really need is some cuddles.

- Seokjin doesn’t mind that either- he tells you he likes it just because you smell nice and you’re warm but really he knows that’s not only the reason why he likes it

- Over the first few months, he’s been living with you the soft apprehension melt away into fondness at first, which changes into something soft and tender that scares him a little.

- He loves to make things in your kitchen, the way the city smelled when he sits on the back porch, loved the way you would sit with him and let your shoulders brush.

- The way you shivered when he brushed your hair, your smile, your laugh, the way that you never guarded your expressions around him. All of the small things. Like walking with your arm through his, the way your hand would skim along the bushes to feel the soft hairy leaves. The little squeaks you made when you bumped into things.

- The feelings of protectiveness sneak up on him.

- Seokjin goes to town, baking cakes and dinner for you each night, not because he feels like he has too- but because he wants to see your face light up from the sweetness.

- he loves the The way you raise your eyebrows and defiantly eat your too sweet cereal in his direction when he complains that cocoa puffs are garbage.

- And that makes things so much more difficult. Because he wants to pull you to sit next to him when you sit across the table. Wants to touch your cheek and kiss your lips when you make that shriveled nose expression.

- He feels the urge to do it so often that he’s worried one day you’ll lean in close and he’ll do it out of habit- because he’s imagined it so many times.

- He loves when you sleepily lie on the couch in front of the TV and pull him closer- complaining that a full belly makes you in the mood to cuddle with an adorable pout that pulls at his heartstrings.

- And of course you take care of Seokjin too- you hear the scuff of his shoes against the sidewalk and tell him that you two should go get new ones soon.

- When he starts to sniffle one night in front of a drama you wipe softly over his cheeks and hold him a little tighter. Running your hand up and down his forearm to comfort him.

- When you come down the stairs and ask him if he’d liked to go on a walk- because you had the feeling he’d be getting antsy on a nice day, not because you’d need to go anywhere. The way you watch each of his cooking videos before he posts it- gives you a little constructive criticism here and there.

- His tail gives away his mood when you rub his ears and pet his head- clacking against the metal chairs at the kitchen table. You back hug him in the early mornings, lingering a little longer in his arms every time.

- “I like this,” you say once, your voice muffled by the fabric of his rough cotton shirt. “I do too,” he mumbles, and the two of you pretend those words are enough for now when 3 other words are hovering on the tip of your tongues.

- Summer fades to fall and Seokjin and you go on walks to hear the leaves crunch beneath your feet, you lie back down in a pile of leaves and Seokjin drops a pile of the crunchy leaves on top of you, laughing and giggling as they fall into your hair making him throw pile after pile on top of you.

- He makes peach and pecan pies as well as apple and cinnamon and you sneeze several times in a row as you help him chop the apples. Which results in him almost rolling on the floor laughing at how cute you are.

- You curl up on Halloween watching scary movies and eating pumpkin pie with vanilla ice cream and Kit Kat bars.

- For Thanksgiving, you take him to your parent’s house, the train from your city to theirs is a little empty so early in the morning. Seokjin’s toting 2 freshly baked pies; one apple and one pumpkin that impresses the socks off of your grandmother who also. His legs shake nervously and his tail thwaps against the seat impatiently the entire dinner only calming when you set your hand on it and rub circles onto his knee.

- Your family approves of him- especially when he manages to cook a turkey perfectly. Stopping your forgetful aunt from leaving it in the oven for too long.

- The two of you pile into your old room on the queen bed- seeing as all the other rooms in your house where taken by relatives. And though you fall asleep on the other side of the bed, when you wake, you find yourself curled into Seokjin’s side.

- His warm breath rushing over your face and his arm curled underneath you, holding you a little closer than before but still not suffocating you. When you start to stir an inch away he groans pulling you closer.

- “Come on Jinnie- we’ve got a train to catch,” you say lightly, “no- cuddles first” he complains, pouting cutely, not realizing the nickname you used until later. You cave and end up taking a later afternoon train back into the city. Somehow his hand finds yours on the train- when it jostles you and throws you up against him, and his hand doesn’t leave yours for the duration of the rest of the train ride home.

- One morning Jin watches you pull on a black sweatshirt over black leggings and he says offhandedly, “You know we really should get you some more colorful clothes” you make the expression of semi-raised eyebrows that was the same thing as rolling your eyes to him and just say “seokjin- baker extraordinaire and a stylist!”

- So the two of you go to the mall and he drags you into every single store trying to get you to try on skirts (which you initially refuse) but do relent when he selects some baggy sweater dresses in bright colors or muted pastels.

- He quickly realizes that fabric is extremely important- too soft or static fabrics could be uncomfortable for you- so he’s more careful with his selections as well. He even finds a few new items for himself.

- He flushes so hard when you reach out to feel one of his shirts and then hug him- rubbing your cheek against his chest as you mutter, “oooohhh so soft!” yup that sweater was defiantly getting added to their cart.

- Seokjin still can’t help but feel a little cooped up sometimes. He asks you why you never go out to bars or clubs like people your own age- and you complain that they never made you feel safe- with so many people brushing up against you and the fact that audio queues where basically nil.

- A few nights’ later Seokjin makes you take him out to a local restaurant “we never go out at night” he complains and also clarifies that he wants to start reviewing local restaurants on his blog/youtube channel/Instagram. You agree, knowing that he’d probably like a break from cooking too.

- The sauce is above par even if the food got a little mushy when it became cold but you like it. And from the sounds that he makes, the Ahhhs and pleasant hums- you figure his dish is good too.

- He even gives you a little spoonful of his soup and you make a noise as well. “Next time I’ll get that,” you say, already deciding that you’ll go out more often. Seokjin wants to try everything, you make it a Friday night thing sometimes more casual walks on the boardwalk to get fried food from street carts and other times to fancy restaurants that have a “no flats for women” policy which you detest.

- Seokjin reaches 100,000 subscribers on his YouTube channel just 5 months after making it. And you celebrate by going out to one of the more fancy restaurants that he’d wanted to try across town. You even get a bottle of white wine for the two of you to share which makes you feel rosy-cheeked before the end of the last course.

- He’s been getting so many requests for videos recently, more than he could reasonably do, but one of the more requested topics is a video about you. There aren’t many hybrids on YouTube, maybe more than a half dozen notable ones and his followers, both human and otherwise are more than a little curious about Seokjin’s “adoption story” as tubers commonly call them.

- And after your consent, Jin makes an answer video- talking somewhat candidly about the struggles he faced at the beginning of his life being in the show industry and failing, About his time in the hybrid facility, and about his mysterious blind owner.

- You even make a brief appearance, “I’d like to introduce you to my biggest flan” you cringe at his pun, “And my best friend Y/n.” “Technically I’m your owner- though it doesn't feel like it.” Seokjin laughs and agrees “No it doesn't,” you can't see it of course but later others will comment how Seokjin blushed and looked from you to the camera continuing to introduce yourself.

- Seokjin reads you a few questions, and you answer them, “my favorite dish of his would have to be his beignets!” Seokjin chimes in and notes that you have a sweet tooth. “if I made anymore sweets for you, you’d get a new cavity every other week!”

- Before you leave to answer more of the serious questions, you say goodbye to the camera “it was berry nice to meet you all! You’re all so sweet” Seokjin’s laughs offer you a chance to escape And he moves onto the heavier questions.

- “Before I came to live with Y/n, I was in a really tough place, I’d been at the adoption center longer than most of the employees because I was so old. I wish people would adopt old hybrids more- we can be just as good companions as any other hybrid. I’m really lucky that Y/n took a chance on me, I probably would never have been adopted otherwise.”

- The response from his video is immediate- a few days after he starts getting messages from his followers, them with pictures of older hybrids newly adopted- some even older than Jin. He even gets some before and after pictures of people who have adopted stray hybrids (who tend to be older in general and often escape from abusive homes) and Jin feels his heart swell.

- He didn’t expect it to make a difference. But it already is. He’s already made a huge difference. And that means more to him than anything.

- So when he crawls into your lap and holds you close a little tearful you just hold him tight, rubbing your small hands over his broad shoulders as you tell him how proud you are of him for making such a positive change.

- And Seokjin feels pride and a happiness so soft it feels like sadness well up in him and make him giggle tearfully. Scenting along your throat and pulling himself further on top of you as he smothers himself in your love happily.

- Your hybrid has always been soft and emotional and so in tune with what others need- you especially. And you confess that you’re the ones who’s lucky. Lucky to have him.

- On your weekly night out to a new local diner that week you dress in one of your new dresses, one that Seokjin called “a light mauve” that contrasted nicely with your undertones, whatever that meant. You attempt something that you haven’t in ages; something that’s daunted you since your accident- makeup.

- You don’t know why you where sure you wanted to be pretty today, but the thought of going out, being on Jin's arm- something that ordinarily wouldn’t make you anxious at all- sets you on edge.

- You fumble around with your old container of foundation and a beauty blender and that’s how Jin finds you, scrambling with the brushes unsure what colors you’re actually feeling. Trying to remember what pallets you’re holding and what colors where actually there.

- He touches your arm softly before you avert your face from him- “I just wanted to feel pretty” you say in a downturned voice, a little bit of shame clinging to your bones because really- this shouldn’t be so hard.

- And because- Well- you wanted to be pretty for him.

- He doesn’t say “Y/n you’re beautiful” like he wants too, confessing the first thing he ever thought about you, instead he swallows his words of praise- worried about making you uncomfortable and takes the makeup brush from you.

- “I can help with that you know- why don’t you sit” he’d had practice putting on makeup as a show hybrid- and though he’s a little out of practice he manages to blend your contour out perfectly on the first try.

- You sit down on the edge of the toilet, he brushes careful amounts of blush onto your face after he pats it with a bit of setting powder- it’s a little light for you, obviously a winter shade but he warms it a little with some bronzer at your cheekbones and your temples

- It feels nice- for him to treat you with such gentle movements, the soft unexpected brush of the fine soft bristles as he smudges on the light gold highlighter to your cheekbones, making you glow and shimmer to Jin’s eyes.

- Jin loves taking care of you in this way, loved taking care of you in general. he’s so enthralled by the particulars of your face the small marks, the upturn of your pink lips, the delicate brush of your lashes along your lower cheek and your perfect cheeks themselves.

- “Jin,” you say softly, and he can hear the emotion in your voice, “I’ve never thanked you- for all of this- for being” for being my person, you want to say, but you don’t think he’d understand, not really. Just how much he means to you.

- “You don’t have to honey,” he says, his breath brushing over your cheeks, “but still- I don’t know who I’d be or where I’d be if It weren’t for you,” a single tear drifts out of the corner of your eye. Seokjin stills above you, and you hear the clatter of the make up pallet and brush as he sets it aside.

- And Seokjin ticks, “that won’t do,” his large hands cupping your jaw.

- The sudden press of something so soft that they can only be his lips stuns you as he presses them over the tear on your cheek.

- You jump backward at the tentative and delicate touch. You can feel the press of his hair against your forehead as he slowly withdraws, pressing another kiss to your jaw on the way out. His lips trailing down your chin.

- He pauses, his breath brushing over your freshly painted lips, colored by his own hands; he sees your chest heave with gasps when he hovers.

- You move forward the half inch and press your lips to his, his hands hit the back of the toilet when he catches himself- because really- he never expected you to return his kiss, he didn't expect this white-hot feeling that’s finally bubbled up past the boiling point where he’d shoved it down in his chest.

- Your hands go up to hold him gently behind his neck; softly enough that he can pull away if he wants to.

- Your entire body feels on fire, and it feels like Jin is the one spreading gasoline as he kisses you with passionate fervor, lips parting against yours. He lets you break apart for air, tastes you on his tongue when he leans his forehead against yours, both of you breathing heavy.

- “You okay?” he asks, and you nod a little, smiling- but overwhelmed, you’d forgotten how sensitive lips where. In the absence of his they tingle. He stands up, pretending like he didn’t just kiss you, your face is flaming as you stutter out a yes but Seokjin still steps away.

- He wants to go slow, and he has a feeling that if you kept kissing- you’d go anything but slow.

- While Grabbing your setting spray and setting your make up he says, “there we go- perfect” though he’s not talking about just your makeup. “We’ll be late if we don’t leave soon- shall we?” he says, taking your hand, you let him pull you up to your feet.

- That night Seokjin treats you like a princess- and like before, every word from him makes you blush and stutter. You even indulge in a bottle of wine for the two of you. Though neither of you says it you both think that you might need something to soothe your nerves. The conversation flows like usual- more easily than breathing despite the lingering awkwardness from the kiss.

- Because you know him, and after these months together Seokjin knows you better than he knows the back of his own hand. There’s no need to be nervous around you.

- The second time the two of you kiss he’s the one who initiates it, he presses a kiss against your mouth while you dry dishes and he washes. It’s sweet and offly domestic but it feels nice when he presses into you harder, his teeth biting at your lower lip.

- His strong hands hoisting you up to sit against the counter. Slotting himself in-between your legs, when you run your fingers through his hair, nail scratching against his scalp and over his ears, making him groan against your lips.

- The third time you kiss it's you who seeks his lips out- he’s got his head in your lap on the couch- it’s late at night and the run of your hand through his hair and over his ears makes him almost groan with the delightful shivers.

- You laugh when he lets out a high pitched whine when you stop your trail against his ear, and you lean down- letting your hair spill over him before you kiss him softly with a gentle rhythm.

- He kisses you for longer, his hands hovering on your waist and itching up to press against your ribs under your shirt. Thumbs brushing your sternum. You don’t discourage his touches when they get heavier.

- Seokjin steals kisses from your lips on walks, when you crinkle your forehead when you laugh, kisses the smile from your face when you laugh at a comedian on late night television.

- You could never get enough of the taste of your hybrid. Though he was much more than just that to you.

- In the cold of late autumn, Seokjin pries the sweater off of you and finds you’re not wearing a bra underneath, and you commit to mapping every inch of his skin with your hands and mouth.

- You spend the morning with your bare chest pressed against his, your hands trailing and memorizing the elegant curve of his broad shoulders and tapered waist. Even going down further to twine your hands up and around his tail making him pant against you.

- It feels so intimate to have his skin pressed against yours, and you know based on the way that he sighs against your skin that he feels the same way. The connection between the two of you, the intimacy, makes your heart beat quick and your palms sweaty.

- He leaves love bites against your shoulders and begs you not to cover them up with makeup when you go out- even though you just raise your eyebrows at him most of the time and repeat your request for the cover-up. Even saying you’ll do it yourself if he won’t.

- But Seokjin can never deny your requests, even if he wants the whole world to see his claiming marks on you- even if you can’t see them yourself. He catches you sometimes running your fingers over them and pressing against them to feel the dull ache and memory of his mouth when you think he’s not paying attention.

- You get happier, bad days still happen, but now Seokjin just comes in to cuddle regardless of how you try to push him out. Even gaining the second sense as to when you’re going to go into a spiral- seeing the faraway look in your eyes and knows he shouldn’t plan on releasing a video the next day.

- Winter comes, Seokjin hangs up lights all around the house and even helps you pick a Christmas tree (you love how the smell of pine fills your home). The two of you decorate it with lights and buy each other presents as Christmas draws near.

- The two of you open up Christmas presents on Christmas Eve instead of Christmas day. Your mother gets Seokjin a fluffy pink sweater that he instantly loves and pulls on. Texting her that he loves it and thanking her. Which then leads to her calling the two of you for an extremely long video call with the rest of your family.

- You get him a couple’s wine and cooking night package scheduled for a few weeks away, along with something a little more personalized, a cookbook- but not just any old cookbook- it’s his cookbook.

- You put all his favorite recipes in it, complete with his comments which you recorded from eat Jin, and a few puny names, (such as chicken- pot- fine, for his pie recipe, and scalloped potate-no’s after his misadventures with that recipe.)

- You sent it away to one of those websites to get it designed; the book is spiral bound but glossy- with a photo of himself on the cover

- You spent nearly a day and a half talking with the printing designer over the phone to make it perfect- but you suspected they liked the project- after all, they were able to make most if not all of the design choices.

- The only thing that was totally you was the second part of the book- a mirror of the first only this one was in braille so that you could read it too.

- Seokjin almost cries when he holds it for the first time, sucking on his lower lip to keep in the tears when he sees the words “eat with Jin” in a swirly yet elegant font across the top.

- “Well do you like it,” you ask, taking his silence to mean something bad, but he just pulls you into his lap and nuzzles his head into your shoulder and no other words are needed.

- He gets you a fluffy fawn colored sweatshirt that almost goes down to your knees and an entire set of the harry potter audio books ready to be downloaded onto your phone.

- You giggle happily about- now you can listen to them everywhere and don’t need the old dilapidated radio to listen to them.

- That night the two of you watch the charismas specials (well he watches them- you just listen) until the late hours of the night wrapped in each other. Falling asleep with your head rested against Jin’s chest listening to his heartbeat.

- The two of you wake when the bells signaling the turn of the clock to midnight knock you out of your warm reverie, “Merry Christmas” you mutter to each other, meeting his lips in a kiss that tastes like the peppermint from candy canes and the promise of home.

- That night the two of you turn in, sleeping in your bedroom for once and not parting like you usually do. Underneath the too warm covers- you’re too hot in the sweatshirt he bought you so instead you shuck your pants leaving you only in your underwear.

- He takes off his pants too- leaving him only in his boxers and thin undershirt; you wind your bare skin in between each other and fall asleep breathing in each other’s breath.

- When Jin is sure you’ve fallen asleep, your hands curling and unfurling one in the covers another fisted on the shirt in his side, he whispers quietly into the winter air. “I love you.”

- You wake to snow the next morning- fallen overnight and the cold pressing in oppressively. Seokjin begs you to go sledding at the local hill and of course, you couldn’t say no to him.

- “You’ll be fine- just sit you between my legs” and of course it ends up okay, though the first time is a little terrifying, it’s been so long since you’d felt the wind and adrenaline rush through your veins, you shriek with laughter the first time down, and then jump up and say “again! again!” like a little kid.

- Jin just laughs, brushing the snow out of his hair before he presses a cold kiss against your cheek and guides you back to the top of the hill when the other kids are waiting.

- When you get home Seokjin is shivering and cold to the bone on account of having forgotten a pair of gloves behind. Concerned, you demand that Seokjin takes a warm bath in your bathroom (seeing as his bathroom on the second floor didn’t have a tub.)

- Drawing it for him and even popping in a bath bomb that you saved for a special occasion before he can tell you not to use it on him. he almost invites you to join him in the bath but the words fail to fall from the tip of his tongue before you close the door behind yourself.

- Seokjin spends almost an hour in the blissful lilac colored water letting the warmth relax his muscles, and he decides that he defiantly likes baths and will ask you to take more of them- with him hopefully- eventually if he ever plucks up the courage that is.

- You surprise him with a mug of warm hot chocolate with copious marshmallows and whipped cream. The two of you fall asleep curled up in each other’s lap and when you wake- though it might be dark outside the two of you are restless from the afternoon spent napping. And decide to go on a late night walk to burn off some steam.

- The city is cold and quiet in a peaceful sort of way with few people sharing the sidewalk with you as you navigate into the park already growing sleepy. A group of kids ambushes you with snowballs, peaking up over the edge of the boulders much to your surprise. Catching Seokjin with a snowball straight to the face.

- “You brats!” he cries scooping up a handful of snow on the side of his head and launching it in the teens' direction. He squeals and runs.

- But they venture off before long- eager to find an easier target after Seokjin pelts them with snowballs- feeling slightly proud of himself for defending you so well. Though he’d never admit it even after you tease him.

- He runs a hand through your hair clearing it of snowflakes, before you grin up at and asks, “Did I hit any of them?” Seokjin smiles at you and kisses the snowflakes off your lips and says that of course, you did even though the snowball he saw you throw landed off by about 10 feet.

- You walk further into the park, fat snowflakes starting to fall again, bursting on your face and melting when they hit like little sparks of cold.

- The two of you are just walking down the path when Seokjin yelps, taking a look at you- realizing that you’d lost your hat in the snowball skirmish “just give me a second! I’ll go back and get it” he’s letting go of your hand before you can say that you��ll walk with him.

- You suck on your lower lip, a little anxious as the sound of his footsteps disappear, you don’t have your walking stick but the garden path is mostly deserted and you’ve walked this way countless times before.

- But to stand there in the silence, the only sound the faint crinkle of the falling snow is unnerving. Your heart rate increases.

- The path might be safe and deserted the day after Christmas but there is something creepy about the silence of the woods and the fact that you know its dark around you, though you’ve lived with the darkness for long enough. Your breathing slowly speeds up, and you begin to lose sense of direction. “Jin?” you call out weakly. Unsure where he came from- your hands out in front of you.

- Seokjin couldn’t be more than 100 meters away from you- but he still doesn’t answer. A sharp noise echoes right beside you and you turn too quickly, your feet sliding, you take a step to your left and your legs slips- and suddenly you’re falling.

- Your bare skin touching snow as you turn over, your hand hitting a stone echoing with pain as you roll down a hill. You cry out as you finally come to a stop with your gloved hands fisted in the snow at the bottom of the slope.

- You call Seokjin’s name again and turn your foot a little tapping out with it, suddenly cold, ice cracks and your foot gets wet, the soft sound of gurgling arrests your ears.

- A stream, you’re right next to a frozen stream, you’re shaking now, the noise- the same one as before comes closer. You remember Seokjin mentioning a ravine around here more than once before and you truly start to panic when you realize where you are.

- “Hello?” you call out your voice shaking.

- “I’m sorry- I didn’t mean to startle- you were just about to fall and then you did cuz you got startled and-” a quiet male voice says the sound of footsteps and someone presence as foreign hands find you and start to help you up.

- you flinch but accept the help ”It’s okay” you say softly, trying to muster more strength in your voice. “Would you mind helping me- I- I’m blind and I can’t see my way out of here.” Warm bare hands grab at your wrist steadying you, and your pulse jumps- adrenaline reacting instinctively to a stranger.

- “You don’t need to be afraid I really am sorry- h-here”

- “How can you tell I’m afraid?” you inquire almost scared of the answer, he pauses, the silence pregnant, before he echoes quietly, “I could smell it on you.”

- “How could smell me!?” you ask, your foot slipping abruptly on something making you stoop to your knee, the stranger helps you stand again and you continue to climb uphill.

- Usually, you’d be more cautious and would never put your trust in a complete stranger, but you need him to get you out of here. “I’m a hybrid.” He answers softly. “Oh thank god” you relax instantly, “My hybrid should be around here somewhere, what kind are you? I’d love to meet your owner, what’s your name?”

- “Namjoon,” he says meekly “and I’m just a wolf mutt.” Your foot hits another slippery patch and you slide backward trying to regain your footing but failing. “It might be easier if you just get on my back.”

- “Okay” you agree, when he loops your arms around his neck and tells you to hold onto your wrist your arms brush over ears, bristly but somehow shorter than you’d thought, he stands when you arms are linked hunching forward. between your parted legs a tail swishes.

- “I got you,” he says, starting to lead you up the embankment. Feeling surefooted. It takes him seconds to ascent the slope with you on his back. “Here we go,” he says carefully lowering you down back onto the path. your front sliding down his wide back.

- “Y/N!” Seokjin yells, the sound of running immediately alerting you, you turn in his direction the same moment that his strong hands are dragging you behind him and away from the hybrid that just helped you.

- from Seokjin’s perspective, the hybrid looks grimy, obviously a stray, and a wolf from the look of it if his shaggy ears (one of them with a rip in it and the top tip of the other gone entirely), his unkempt tail, and unfiled canines where anything to go off of.

- His jacket was dirty and there was a smudge of dirt on his cheek- he was a stray- a stray hybrid like the ones that had been plaguing the city.

- The musky scent of fear coming from you cloying at his nostrils and making him go into high alert, his protective instincts making his temper flare. Who was this wolf threatening his mate?

- The low growl that echoes out of his throat cuts off your next words, “Seokjin!” you say alarmed, your hand fisting on the back of his jacket- pulling him back softly.

- In front of him, the wolf hybrid has his ears pinned to his head, backing up back towards the woods. “He helped me Jin! I slipped down the embankment and Namjoon was just helping me get out!”

- There is a moment that Jin stays ramrod straight, his tail curled threateningly, the other hybrids eyes are so wide as he shrinks back, one foot already in the woods, just before he turns and runs jin says, “wait- I’m sorry please-please don’t go” the other hybrid pauses by the edge of the path, a whine of fear high pitched and a little pitiful in the quiet winter air.

- Seokjin simultaneously is relieved (because he didn’t know if he was prepared to be in his first fight) and ashamed at himself for reacting with his instincts instead of his human head. now that he can see clearly he can see that The other hybrid looked anything but threatening

- “At least let us thank your owner for helping me” Seokjin casts a look at you-you can’t tell that he’s a stray. “At least let us feed you- to say thank you” Seokjin remedies, casting a glance at the wrists of the hybrid- they look so thin.

- Now that he’s taking a good look at him without the fear clouding his judgment Seokjin can see how unsteady the pup looks- he’s almost as tall as Seokjin but is at least 40 pounds lighter.

- He’s younger too, his shaggy grey-brown hair the same color as his ears, there’s a tare in the leg of his too short pants and his shoes don’t look anywhere near warm enough for the weather

- Seokjin’s shivering just looking at him.

- “Okay,” he says quietly. The three of you start to walk at a slow pace keeping a comfortable distance towards the edge of the park. You only let the uncomfortable silence fester for a moment before you’re saying “so….ugh Namjoon- where does your owner live?”

- Seokjin see’s the younger hybrid tense “ugh…my den is in the park?” Seokjin holds onto you a little tighter as you stumble when your foot hits a rock, he notices the mud on the back of your jacket from where you slid, the faint redness in your hand where you must have hit it when you’d fallen.

- He wouldn’t soon stop internally berating himself for leaving you alone for some time- how could he be so careless.

- “Wait you mean you live here? Out in the cold? You’re a stray?” Seokjin sees the stranger flush with shame and looks down, “it’s not so bad- I’ve got a lot of blankets and it warms up when I can make a fire.”

- “Please- let us help you, come back and sleep on our couch for the night” the fact that Seokjin is showing kindness your to Namjoon, whose head he’d been about to chomp off surprises you but makes you more than a little pleased, but then again Seokjin had always been kind.

- The other hybrid deliberates, sucking in his lower lip for a second, glancing at you- looking even smaller and non-threatening in a large puffy black coat. And then the other hybrid, who looked to be a few years older than him. Seokjin had the puffed up well mannered and well cared for look that stray hybrids never had, he’d never lived on the street, Namjoon was sure of it.

- Namjoon’s deciding shifting back and forth on one food before he says, “ok” and admits to himself that he really really doesn’t want to spend tonight in the cold and really just one night couldn’t hurt. Tomorrow he would leave and everything would be fine- his few possessions in his den wouldn’t be touched- especially since it was so well hidden.

- Your home is quiet and dark but unbelievably warm to Namjoon at first impression, almost stifling until he takes off his clothes, everything is so clean he immediately feels grubbier than ever, worried about touching anything lest he leaves a mark.

- You take Namjoon’s jacket from him and tell him, “We can wash these for you- and your other clothes, I’m assuming you’re a similar size to Jin?“ Namjoon nods before he realizes that you can’t see him do that. “Do you want to maybe take a shower or a bath?” Seokjin asks, taking your jacket off of the hook where you’d hung it up add it to the pile in your arms. You don’t comment on the extra weight.

- Namjoon can’t help but notice how the elder hybrid wrinkles his nose- he’s sure he doesn’t smell all that nice so he agrees, and the hybrid leads him upstairs to a bathroom that smells and offal lot like the dog-hybrid himself and sets him up with a towel and some fresh scented lavender and vanilla soap that makes Namjoon’s tail wag faster.

- He can’t wait to smell so clean- or so sweet, it’s been years since he’d showered in an actual bathroom and not just the stream or dealt with a gas station bathroom.

- When Namjoon exits the bathtub he finds the home filled with a lofty but rich scent as well as something that smells like burnt toast, he carefully grabs the clothes that have been left out for him and changes into the sweatshirt and stretchy pants. He heads downstairs his nose his guide to the heavenly scent.

- In the kitchen, he finds only Seokjin, but his sensitive ears picking up on some movement from the room to his right. “I hope you’re hungry- Y/n wanted me to make my vegetable soup tonight for you. please tell me you like grilled cheese, y/n has a thing for anything cheesy and greasy no matter how much I try to get her to eat healthily”

- “I like things as cheesy as you” you say as you exit the room next to the kitchen- what must be the master suite, wearing silky pajamas- it’s nearing midnight now.

- Seokjin laughs at your pun, a sound that makes Namjoon’s own mouth tug up in a smile. “Aish woman, stop tugging at my heartstrings.”

- “What’s a grilled cheese?” Namjoon asks, going over to look at the pot of soup- the spices hit his nose like a cacophony and Namjoon knows that if it tastes even half as good as it smells, he’s going to be dreaming about it for years whenever he has an empty stomach.

- You’re open-mouthed, shaking your head at Namjoon’s question. “ whats ah- Oh my god! You haven’t lived until you’ve had a grilled cheese- I’ll show you how to make one,” you say bounding over to the fridge in excitement about getting to show him.

- In your own space, your shoulders relax, and Namjoon can tell that you’re much more comfortable- and less hesitant now that you’re in your own space, Seokjin wordlessly hands you the cheese as you pull out the bread. Anticipating your hands reaching around for it before you’ve even voiced the question.

- It’s clear you’ve lived with the hybrid for a long time, and if Namjoon inhales a deep breath- he can tell that both of your scents has a little of the other Init. Namjoon’s a little jealous- but he tamps it down.

- The food is even better than it smells. And when Namjoon complements Seokjin on it the hybrid almost preens. “I swear I’ve gained 10 pounds since he came to live with me.” you comment. To which Seokjin replies “nonsense- you’re still nothing but skin and bones,” Namjoon can't help but notice how you used the words lived with me- instead of adopted.

- “How long have you been living together.” “Almost 10 months now.” Seokjin says, your hand brushes his on the top of a table. Namjoon averts his eyes- trying to be polite while still feeling like a guest and digs in.

- By the end of the night Namjoon’s belly is so full it hurts. And he’d eaten almost 4 bowls of soup and half a dozen grilled cheeses; even Seokjin had been impressed with how well Namjoon had eaten.

- And he was more than a little pleased that he’d barely been able to drowsily stumble to the living room where you were waiting with a pillow that smelled like you and a fuzzy gray blanket.

- “Goodnight Namjoon,” you say as he reclines on the too comfortable plush sofa- so different than the pile of old sheets and foam bits he’d manage to scavenge and put in his den. He knows the instant he lies down that he’ll fall asleep in seconds.

- You reach out, running your warm palm over his forehead and through his clean hair, rubbing over his ears, Namjoon makes a startled noise- halfway between a trill of surprise and a rumbling purr of pleasure.

- From the doorway he can hear you and Seokjin, “can we snuggle again tonight?” you ask Seokjin, “of course” he says, sounding glad you’ve asked.

- Namjoon knows it must not be easy- letting an unknown male into his den. It doesn’t matter that Seokjin’s a dog hybrid and not a wolf hybrid some instincts ran too deep. He’ll have to thank the elder when before he leaves in the morning.

- The sunlight comes too quickly, shining through the open windows as Namjoon wakes to the natural rhythm of the world far before either you or Seokjin. He resists the temptation to stay curled up underneath the warm covers and makes himself get up, He doesn’t think you’ll mind if he makes some coffee before he braves the cold outdoors.

- He notices some mud (probably tracked in by him) in the front entryway, so he grabs a broom and sets about cleaning up his mess and making it look like he was never here while the coffee maker gurgles. He's just finishing up and tugging his jacket on when the door to your bedroom opens and you exit, groaning and stretching as you bid Namjoon good morning.

- “Good morning! I made coffee- I hope you don’t mind.”

- “Not at all- though if you hand me a cup with cream and sugar I won’t mind even more.” Namjoon grins and obliges you pressing the warm cup into your hands.

- “I’ll be out of your hair soon- thank you so much for your hospitality. I really can't put it into words.” He watches your expression fall, your mug set down on the table instantly.

- “What are you talking about?” Seokjin says from the doorway, his hair pushed up around his forehead in an obvious case of bed head. “The temperature is in the single digits today, you can’t honestly want to go back out into that when you don’t have a warm place to stay.”

- “I- I don’t want to intrude.”

- “We’ve got more than enough room here Namjoon.” Seokjin counters, “I don’t want to be a bother.” He says quietly and Seokjin can see his resolve crumbling as he looks into the sunny and sterile cold world outside and then casts a glance at the warm inside of the apartment.

- “The winters only going to get colder Namjoon.” your hand extends to touch his arm, gripping his jacket. “At least stay until the spring.” Namjoon sucks on his lower lip. Torn between what he wants and what he knows he should do.

- He knows he has to leave. but he wants to stay more than anything. you were probably just being nice to him- you probably didn't want him to be there, he was probably only being a bother.

- Seokjin goes over to the fridge “we’re almost out of groceries and I’m going to need someone to help me carry them back- will you help Namjoon?” he asks before the hybrid can make a response, Namjoon glances down at you, a small smile playing at the edge of your lips.

- “Okay- I’ll help you,” he says after a moment, feeling his resolve flatten out as he crumples. it’s the least he can do after you’ve clothed and fed him. “I don’t want to go until after breakfast.” You complain, and Seokjin can sense the double meaning in the words. As Namjoon is manipulated into staying until after he helps and therefore after breakfast. “have you ever made pancakes before Namjoon?”

- “No,” he says, “but I’ve had them before.” He says when he notices you about to ask, you close your mouth with a smile. “Come over here and let me show you-but take off your jacket first- I don’t want your sleeves to get in the batter.”

- After a very long day in the supermarket that Namjoon sense’s you are both trying to draw out, He’s more than a little tired and chilly from the 10-minute walk back. His arms aching a little bit. “I’ll put things away.” You say as they plop the bags on the table.

- Seokjin guides Namjoon up the stairs into what must have been the hybrids room painted a lovely mauve color that’s almost white. Seokjin gives Namjoon some of the old clothes he doesn’t wear anymore, far more than the ones he loaned him yesterday, but these ones are ones he can have.

- By the time they go downstairs and Namjoon is wondering if he should leave again you’re already asking for his help to chop up some vegetables for a salad.

- And by the end of dinner Seokjin is making hot chocolate with marshmallows and before Namjoon knows it he’s falling asleep next to you on the couch while a movie plays in the distance, lulled to sleep by the gentle breathing of the two of you curled next to him as his head nudges onto your shoulder.

- You raise your hand and run it through his supper soft ears that are somewhat bristly at the ends. Fingering over the cleft in his side. Seokjin watches your expression, the way you seem to melt under the easy and deep breaths of the sleeping hybrid, and the way he’s melting into you, adorable dimples popping out as he smiles in his sleep.

- “Can we keep him Jin? Don’t you think it would be better if he stayed?” Seokjin reaches out his hand to thumb across the hybrids cheek. He’s so deeply asleep Seokjin could probably yell and the other wouldn’t wake.

- “Of course I do.”

~ PART 2 COMING SOON ~ MASTERLIST ~

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kairibee · 6 years ago

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Inspired by Chikai by Utada Hikaru, I decided to write a post-KH3 Sokai fanfic. This happens a couple years after the events of the game. Slight KH3 ending spoilers. I hope it somehow makes you feel better. :) Let’s make an oath to live together Pairing: Sora/Kairi Genre: Romance/Comfort Post-KH3 ff.net link: here A03 link: here

Kairi felt the warm breeze against her skin, the soft sand beneath her, the sound of waves filling her ears. The sun, once so high up in the sky, was nearing the edge of the water now, pink and orange hues painted delicately across the horizon. She had a pad of paper resting against her raised knees and pencil behind her ears.

It seemed not too long ago that she had been adventuring with Sora and Riku across the worlds and, yet, it had been months - or, maybe at least a year now - since she had come back home.

The islands had always been to dear to Kairi, but lately she felt so enamored by the simplicity of the life they offered. Days were long, hot, and humid, and the sun shone down splendidly most days; other days, rain poured and flooded the roads.

Today had been scorching. Kairi’s soft cotton pink dress stirred with the breeze. Her sandals lay ahead of her, discarded for the moment in the sand. She always spent the end of the day reflecting and putting her thoughts to paper.

Riku visited home often but his heart still took him to various worlds. Since he was a child, he had always dreamed of seeing the world for himself, and his adventurous spirit was still lively. Kairi smiled fondly, remembering the last time she had seen him. They had been visiting the play island together, sitting on the tree like they did as kids, and he told her about the escapades he and the King had gotten themselves involved in: visiting the Princesses of Heart, Aqua and the others; Twilight Town.

Kairi liked to visit her other friends too, although it had been a while now since she last saw them. She liked getting to see Axel and surprising him with sea salt ice cream. His surprised grin, grateful eyes shining under the twilit sky.

Things were so quiet nowadays.

Closer to the shore, Sora, Tidus, Wakka, and a few of the other townsfolk were carrying in fish they had caught in their nets earlier in the day. The boys - or perhaps they truly were men now - were ankle deep in the water, helping each other with the heavy load.

Kairi had helped out earlier as well, collecting fruits with some of the other folk. She had sit down to rest only a few moments ago, sitting down to collect her thoughts like she did at the end of each day; with her paper and pencil handy. It helped her remember each day, writing it down. Each ordinary day was special to her.

“Kairi!”

Jolted from her thoughts, Kairi looked up and saw Sora walking towards her in the sand. He was wearing a sleeveless shirt, like he usually wore while doing physical labour. He had a smile on his face. Water was glistening off of his arms. When had she started noticing his muscles like that?

“Done for the day?” She smiled, looking up at him.

“Yep.” He sat down on the sand beside her, his arms going around his neck to stretch. “I’m beat!”

Kairi couldn’t help but let out a soft giggle. “Keyblade masters get tired wrangling a few fish?”

Sora groaned, “gimme a break, Kairi.” Glancing at her, he saw the pencil tucked behind her ear and chuckled. “Hey, what are you writing about anyway? I saw you looking my way earlier.”

Kairi felt the blush creep up in her cheeks. “I wasn’t.. looking...”

When had Sora become this bold? He was no longer a fool to the power he had over her. Kairi couldn’t help but look down into her lap, feeling embarrassed all of a sudden. She had been looking over at him earlier, while he was wrangling the fish with the others. The way his muscles extended and flexed.

“Will you let me read what you wrote today?” He asked, looking over at her with a smile.

Kairi looked up, meeting his gaze; his bright blue eyes shimmering. Her heart tightened in her chest. She couldn’t help but smile at his sincerity. “Mhm,” she said quietly, bringing her pad of paper close to her chest. She always read the letters she had written to him, and he in turn, always listened quietly in contemplation. She had written him so many throughout the years, while they had been apart.

Gazing at him, overcome with warmth and affection, and him the same, Kairi couldn’t help but wonder: when had everything become so simple?

All throughout dinner, Kairi was quiet. Her father and mother had guests over, and they chatted amongst themselves, laughter echoing throughout the large home. Her father, the mayor, was hosting some of the other town officials. They passed dishes, poured each other wine. Usually Kairi was more talkative but she was noticeably quiet and withdrawn the entire evening, and a few of the guests took notice. Kairi’s father allowed her to retire to her bedroom during dinner, despite slight objections from her mother. Her parents shared a concerned glance, as Kairi quietly left the table and retreated into the hallway.

After walking quickly up the stairs, Kairi made her way through the long dark hall towards her bedroom. Turning the handle, she was greeted by the soft comfort of the evening sky pouring through her window. Kairi let out a deep sigh, closing the door behind her. The heaviness lifted from her and she sat down on her bed, back resting against her bedroom wall.

What had come over her all of a sudden? She had always felt burdened after dinner, as the skies grew darker in the evening.

Selphie had come over earlier that evening, after Sora had walked her home. She had talked about Tidus and how she felt frustrated that he wasn’t spending as much time with her lately. Kairi asked why Selphie couldn’t just ask Tidus to hang out, and Selphie let out an angry pout. “It doesn’t work like that Kairi!” Kairi couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. Selphie always made things harder for herself. Now she was alone.

Clouds had formed outside since she had sat down for dinner.

Reflecting on her day further, Kairi couldn’t help but remember the feeling of Sora’s lips against her hand, as he said goodbye to her at her door. These days, he always walked her home, always said goodbye with a soft kiss on her hand. A shiver traveled throughout her body.

Kairi spent every day she could with Sora, like they did in their childhood. Helping out the townsfolk, rowing out to the play island like they used to, meeting with Riku the days he visited; trying to cherish ordinary islander life. For so many years they had been kept apart from this place, swept up in some destiny they could have never imagined when they were young.

Every single moment with Sora on the islands was a blessing. Watching him from afar as he worked, the feel of his rough hands against her own, how she couldn’t help but steal kisses from him when he smiled at her the way he often did.

Those years she had been left alone on the islands, she wanted nothing more than to leave. Walking to and from school all alone, quietly retreating to her room. She must have felt a lot like Riku when he was younger: quiet and withdrawn; feeling disconnected and wanting nothing more than to leave the islands. Kairi had wanted to see other worlds like Riku did but she had always thought of the islands as her home. That was until Sora and Riku were taken from her, swept away by the currents of a heavy destiny, and she had to live the ordinary days without them. Alone.

Sora being here made the islands feel like home again.

Kairi’s gummiphone chimed brightly and lit up the dark room for a brief moment. She forgot she had left it on her bed earlier, before heading down for dinner. Even before picking it up, she knew it was a message from Sora.

I’m outside.

Kairi quickly stood up, walked to the other side of her room and lifted up her bedroom window. Rain was just starting to fall now. Like déjà vu, Sora appeared in view, flashing her a bright smile, and fit right through her window. She closed it directly behind him, grabbing his hand softly, and guiding him over to her bed. His hands were warm.

Sora was quiet, and in the dark she could just barely make out his features. He had changed clothing from earlier, now wearing a dark colored t-shirt and sweat pants. A soft smile adorned his face.

Squeezing her hand before letting go, Sora took off his shoes and lay down beside her on her purple duvet. Kairi settled her head on his chest and draped her arm over his abdomen, lifting his t-shirt every so slightly to rest her hand directly against his skin. He always shivered when she did that. His arm rested underneath her.

They did this every night they could. Some nights it was too difficult for Sora to sneak in because of her parents but on nights when the mayor had guests over, it was easier because they were distracted entertaining. Some nights she’d read her poems and letters to him, other nights they’d lay silently in the dark, sharing and reveling in the ordinary island life together. Every night that Kairi listened to the sound of his heart beating against his chest, was a gentle and warm reminder that Sora was there with her, and that they had both somehow found their way back to each other, after everything they had been through.

Every ordinary day they spent together was a blessing. These past few months, for the first time in a long time, Kairi felt like she was truly home.

Tears fell from her eyes like they usually did on evenings like this, and she lifted herself up to kiss him softly in the dark, her hand cupping his cheek tenderly.

Sora’s hands went around her back, pulling her closer against him as he responded to her lips touching his. His hands felt rough against her skin.

Sora let out a small chuckle, pulling away for a moment to glance up at her. Kairi giggled softly in return, eyes still glistening with tears in the darkness. Each taking a moment to etch this memory into their hearts, before being swept up in each other’s presence, lips meeting again once more.

She felt him there, solid against her. He didn’t disappear this time, didn’t slip through her fingers.

Every day that they were alive, every day that they could spend together, they would cherish.

Let's make an oath to live together.

#sokai #sora #kairi #fanfiction #kingdom hearts #as promised here it is #all my feels #i havent written fanfiction in years and it shows #sora x kairi #writing

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gobigorgohome2016 · 7 years ago

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Taper Week 1 + Final Big Workout

I am in the home stretch, which is strange because I’m feeling very different from other marathon training cycles.

Normally at this point, I am plotting out exactly what I am going to do as soon as I cross the finish line: drink a beer, eat a burger, and not engage in any physical activity for a glorious 14 days. Last year, the US half marathon championships couldn’t come soon enough. Even on the starting line, all I could think about was covering 13.1 miles as quickly as possible solely so that I could take a break. Definitely not the right mindset for running your best!

Traditionally, taper has been hard for me. Not from the standpoint of “taper crazies” - I’m not going to lie, when people complain about running less I just don’t get it. At the same time, my taper is relatively small. I ran 108 miles for my peak week, and last week I ran 92 (which includes one day off). When you track my 7 day stretch from Tuesday to Monday, I still covered 102 miles. This week will be lower, though, coming in at 76. It will be weird to only run once per day most of the week. Actually, today was my first single run in weeks and I felt like I had infinitely more time on my hands! Of course that means I was less productive, because the best way to get things done is to be really busy, amirite?

I’m starting to wonder if my early season setbacks will have actually served a greater purpose. I feel like the last few weeks have been a turning point in my fitness and that things are coming together. About 4 weeks ago I was running a warm up and I thought to myself you need to just be okay with the fact this might not be a PR training cycle. After I had that thought, I wound up running a better-than-expected workout and I feel like I’ve been on the up and up ever since. I’m not sure I have ever made it to this point in training feeling as though my legs are still fresh.

On Sunday I did what I love to do during taper: I pored over my running logs and looked at data. I love to look at my mileage totals. Here is my mileage during the same 92 day periods leading up to each race:

Twin Cities: 1,019 miles Olympic Trials: 1,163 miles Pittsburgh: 1,147 miles

At the end of the day, I will have only run 16 fewer miles than I did in the 3 months leading up to the Trials. That doesn’t tell the whole story, though. That training window includes a 3 week period where I was dealing with a hamstring issue. If we look at the final 6 weeks of training, the mileage totals are slightly different:

Twin Cities: 505 miles Olympic Trials: 554 miles Pittsburgh: 565 miles

I have definitely come on stronger the last few weeks whereas in past training, I have struggled during taper to have motivation to run. At the end of the day, training and racing only produces more data, so it will be interesting for me to see how the increased mileage plays a role in the outcome.

I’m in the process of reading Deena Kastor’s Let Your Mind Run. This book could not have come out at a better time for me. I like to read during taper. Before Twin Cities, I read Once a Runner. Before the Trials, I read Suzy Favor Hamilton’s Fast Girl.

Deena’s positivity has helped me look at the last few months and reframe them. At one point I truthfully wondered why I was bothering to run this marathon when it didn’t seem like I was going to be in my best shape. I will be the first to admit that I struggle at times with perfectionism when it comes to running (seriously nothing else though. sometimes I wonder how I graduated college). Something that tremendously helped was when my coach reminded me this race doesn’t have to be perfect - it just has to be good, I’m already a pretty damn good runner.

Deena’s book inspired me to reframe a lot of the negative thoughts that have been holding me back lately. For instance, I have used one word to describe this training cycle: setback. I’m pretty sure I have uttered that word more times in the last 4 months than I have in my entire life. Instead of thinking about the things that have hindered progress, why not think of them as things I have overcome? At the end of the day, I have run a shit ton of miles after dealing with:

-a calf injury -a plantar injury -a hamstring injury -a badly infected blister -a couple illnesses -a post-tib issue -the worst case of eczema I’ve experienced in my 20′s -unmet expectations at races -new food sensitivities that undoubtedly contributed to the previous 8 items on this list

I prevailed despite all of these things. What’s so hard about a marathon after your toe doubles in size because it is infected and is so painful you have to drive barefoot in the middle of winter because your shoe is applying too much painful pressure on your toe when you hit the gas pedal?

Deena’s book is also helping me see the other things I do - the things that are easy to forget - that make me a better athlete. Joe Vigil has a quote that there is no such thing as overtraining, just underresting. I love that. This training cycle I have made it a point to:

-nap at least 60 minutes every day -eliminate foods that I know my body cannot tolerate (science is cool) -get a massage every 2 weeks -set up mental game sessions as needed -have increased contact with my coach -make dietitian appointments as needed -make visualization a priority -do daily yoga instead of one session per week -more core/lifting -practice race day [this training cycle I made it a point to practice getting up at 4 AM before a couple long run workouts so that I wasn’t in shock when I had to do it for the race]

There is no guarantee that any of these things are going to make a better runner; but, there was something that Des Linden said leading up to Boston that spoke to me: I could live with myself if I didn’t win Boston. I decided I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t try. (referring to her training)

If I don’t reach my ultimate goal of breaking 2:30 in the marathon, I’ll live. But, as long as I am training I will have a hard time not doing everything in my power that I know will contribute to success. I often think of my mom telling me in high school (when I was half-assing my assignments) “if it’s a job worth doing, it’s a job worth doing well.”

The past week of workouts has been good. I’m not sure where the notion came from that taper weeks are easy. In reality, the lower mileage gives way to more intensity. Here’s what my week looked like:

M: off (first dasy off in 6 weeks!) T: AM: 4, PM: 12 mi total w/ 6 x mi @ marathon effort ending with a mile at half marathon effort W: AM: 10, PM: 6 Th: AM: 6 x 400 m @ mile race pace w/ full recovery, PM: 7 F: AM: 10, PM: 5 Sa: AM: 8, PM: 5 Su: AM: 16 mi cut down finishing in 5:44; PM: 4 mi shake out

Total for the week was 92, and I’m really happy with how my legs felt during that cut down. I remember that workout before Twin Cities and crawling through the shake out later in the day because my legs were trashed. The biggest difference I have noticed during the past 4 or 5 weeks is that my legs are recovering really well.

Today was my last big workout, and it was actually one I have never done before! The plan was 3 x 15:00 at threshold pace. While there is little fitness to be gained at this point, I’m so glad I did this workout because it was a huge mental win.

I went to the tow path for the workout, which is a crushed limestone path in Indy. I figured 15:00 should be roughly 2.5 miles. My plan was to do a 2.5 mi stretch, then a 2.5 mi loop through a neighborhood, then the 2.5 mi stretch back. I did not account for how much rain we have had lately, and the tow path was a muddy, sloppy, puddle-dotted mess. We also have had pretty cold weather, so today was quite the contrast with 60 degrees and 100% humidity / light rain. Fun fact: I have run in a sports bra and shorts once this year, and that was in February.

My superhero running strength is that I’m really good at not going out too fast, and at progressively picking up the pace in workouts as I go. Actually, when this doesn’t happen I generally know something might be wrong with me. Today was not that day.

My first mile of my first 15:00 was 5:49. This is not my threshold pace on a perfect weather day, and it’s definitely not my threshold pace on wet, muddy, soggy ground when I am slipping and sliding everywhere. My second mile was 5:46. I wound up covering 2.57 mi in 15:00 minutes.

My fatal flaw as a runner is that, when I see these splits, I feel as though I must continue getting faster. not the point of this workout. So, I convinced myself that I needed to slow down.

My first mile was 5:52 of the second 15:00 tempo. Honestly, my legs felt like garbage. I was running through a neighborhood on completely soaked streets trying to make turns and I ran way too hard in my previous effort. My quads felt like crap. My 2nd mile was 6:00. I panicked. Quads are heavy + slowing down. When was the last time I felt this way? Oh, right, when I was anemic in the fall. At 12:00 I just stopped running. I contemplated calling it a day and jogging back to my car. Actually, I convinced myself that was what I should do. If my quads are heavy, why add extra strain? Then I spiraled. What if I feel this way during the marathon and just walk off the course?

Finally I decided I was going to finish the workout no matter what, even if it meant running 6:30 pace. I took a couple minutes to regroup and decided the final tempo would be 18:00, to account for the 3 that I missed when I cut the second one short. I would start slow (closer to my actual threshold pace), and no matter what stick this one out. First mile: 6:07. Much better. Second mile: 6:02. 3rd mile: 5:55. So, I made a workout that wasn’t supposed to be hard much more difficult than it had to be.

But, I’m happy that it happened that way. It is very rare for me to have a bad day in practice. It’s even rarer for me to stop. I don’t get a lot of opportunities to practice bringing it back around and making the day successful. Having at least one experience like this going into the marathon is important, because if there is anything we’ve learned in the past 10 days, it’s that you can think you’re going to drop out of a race at half way, then find yourself becoming the first American in 33 years to win the Boston marathon.

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jerseydeanne · 7 years ago

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Wink gathered by Anon Part 2 massive please read. Wink goes back further last year, anons named her wink, a most trusted source

I went through archives of JD’s and Skippy’s to find Wink’s posts. If you were to search “Wink,” various posts TALKING about Wink shows up along with her actual posts. I found that it’s much easier to find consistencies in her messages without all the other messages in between. So I tried my best to copy and paste all that I could find. I double-checked, but I’m bound to miss some. Please don’t post my username. I would like to remain as an anon.

<October 3rd> JD, there’s time for everything. Sometimes things aren’t clear, that’s were you need to be patient, being hasty only would make things worser. Patience is the key. It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light. We only can call out his best energy, that he may able to bear the burden. We should use challenges to find our inner strenght. Don’t worry, no storm last forever. ;)

<October 4th> Thank you too vintage ;) “faith goes up the stairs that love has built and looks out the window which hope has opened” ;)

PC, CH, KP do know what they’re doing. There is no need to bang their head against a brick wall. There’s time for everything. ;)

Dear anon, they don’t have a 2 year agreement. But whatever agreement they have\had she still sticks to her tactic and doesn’t talk badly about the BRF in public. She uses her paid supporters for it. So you need to prove firstly they are paid by her. Without proofs it’s legally only a presumption and not a proof ;)

<October 6th> Dear anon, you’re correct. PC and HM support Harry….but not the allegedly “relationship”. You can’t support something that doesn’t exist, can you?. Markle isn’t acknowledged by them, they attach great importance to it. ;)

Dear anon, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I’ m neither of the three possibilities you have enumerated. Time decides who you meet in life, your heart decides who you want in your life, and your behavior decides who stays in your life. Have a nice day everyone and God bless ;)

Dear JD and Iamstillskippy, nobody talked badly about Cressida. The comment on her as “nice girl” and M as sociopath should only show the difference in dealing with them. Thank you for your understanding ;)

<October 12th> ;) JD. By the way the Brits are deeply committed to their traditions. In these troubleful times they will do their utmost to maintain their own identity, despite immense pressure from abroad. Changing the state form is not as same as swapping the goverment. Some people should be careful what they are wish for. Even the effects of Brexit aren’t currently estimable ; )

Dear 😇, I would recommend you “The power of your subconscious mind” by Dr. Joseph Murphy. It’s a great lecture, available also as free PDF on net. Take a look at it, it’s worth it ;)

Dear anon, I’ m sorry to disappoint you, but “some tricky situations” cannot be fixed in few days. Patience is key, a jug fills drop by drop. Ultimately she plays against herself ;)

<October 14th> Dear (Non) Anon said: “Some people don’t want to hear the truth, bcs they don’t want their illusion destroyed ;)” …….I agree.

Dear anons, who are asking every week for 10 months about engagement. You have to be in a relationship to get engaged. There is no relationship and never will. Notice only the BRF ist entitled to annonce such family affair. By the way whatever Markle plans, I would say, Harry has in the UK home advantage ;)

<October 17th> Only the BRF is entitled to annonce any kind of family affair as first. As long as it doesn’t happen any “news/reports” should be concidered as an unconfirmed rumor.;)

<October 19th> JD, could you please Re/read my ask again about the meaning of the positive aspect of the “tea-party” article? Thank you ;)

<October 28th> Dear anon@ what I meant: no matter who starts the relevations about markle; whatever happens; the Royals just will go on with their daily life and will ignore her existence as until now.;)

Note to the latest ask/repost from Skippy’s blog (not all of the things that are being leaked are a lie) -> As Harry said it in early spring: “you have to be in a relationship for it to be over.. She is old news”…well nothing has changed since then, hence every rumor - except they have split - is made up ;)

<November 1st> “Someday everything will make perfect sense. So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason”. Cheer up JD and stay positive. Whatever happens the sun will shine soon ❤❤ ;)

I would suggest we wait till this allegedly storm comes. Will it come at all? We don’t know. Should we also expect markle is preparing herself in these days from the completely downfall? She has much more to lose than Harry. But it was claimed she signed for season 8, although she has “insider knowledge about these dirty weekends”…. So may this is a storm in a teacup? Let’s wait and see. ;)

You’re welcome dear vintage ❤ this case is like in a 4 x 100 metre relay race, one runner starts before the other but in the end it’s the sum of the four runners that determines performance. A great teamwork. As Diana said: “everyone of us needs to show how much we care for others and in the process care for ourselfes.” That is what counts ;)

<November 2nd> Dear anon@ I agree with JD that Marke isn’t in touch with the reality anymore and believes in her fantasy story, otherwise she would have to face the painful reality, where she doesn’t have any future. She would never admit that keeping her illusion alive costs her arm and leg and couldn’t accept the “friends & credibility” she had lost. She will stick to her illusion as long as she can. ;)

<November 3rd> Just wanted to add: Marke doesn’t even can control the happenings in her own life how would she be able control someone to whom she doesn’t have any contact? She doesn’t play any role in Harry’s future ;)

<November 4th> G’ morning JD, hoping you are fine. Dear ‘pr’ anon@ thank you for your effort ❤. I think, carefully calculated appearances of Harry in the following weeks would blow away markle’s plans, whatever they may be. If she lose her way to make money, she will be history in no time. Good times are coming. Life is just a journey. ;)

<November 5th> Thank you for your kind words dear wemariuniverse. God bless❤❤ and dear JD, 'time has a wonderful way to showing us what really matters ’ ❤ ;)

Remember h said in one of his messages, she isn’t in the picture anymore and everyone could notice that in the wedding. If she isn’t in the picture than she wasn’t there. Simple.;)

Don’t worry JD, you got the best supporter (h) and of course us the loyals from all over the world. I don’t care if they listen. You know, the bigger fish eats the smaller ;) i think h is on his way to Felix :)

<November 6th> G’ morning JD. Thank you dear “PR” anon for all your effort. God bless ❤ I’m looking forward to Harry’s coming appearances. Just have faith in your journey Harry. Everything had to happen as it did to get you where you are going next. Keep up the good work, happiness often sneaks in a door you didn’t think was open ;)

<November 14th> Well, after the “prediction”, just wondering what she is going to do when suits “announce” the H+M break up and also the show is over for her. It sounds like the false strategy, isn’t? ;)

<November 15th> Dear anon@ as it was once said, she got a short of agreement bcs of 'her character" that not included “dress codes”. At IG she has shown what she is capable of, but Harry’s reaction was exemplary by didn’t giving her the chance ruining the game of the heroes. I don’t think it will happen again, despite we know what she is capable of. ;)

<November 16th> “God didn’t promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, or sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way. If God brings to you it, He will bring you through it.” ;) ❤

<November 21st> Dear wthaistd @ nothing unexpected happened. It was said she will be in London, so was she including merc. Would be interesting to know if she is still in London or on the plane to LA for TG ;)

<November 22nd> Dear anon ❤@ I meant it sarcastically. It’s known by all there’s no relationship. She is an ex affair….however the insults began to increase towards Harry again since she missed the Queen’s family dinner ;)

“In life you will realize there’s a role for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you, some will love you and some will teach you. But the ones who are truly important are the ones who bring out the best in you. They are the amazing people who remind you why it’s worth it” ;)

<November 25th> Dear anon@ there’s no comparison. 'Strip poker’ for a single adult man is a 'pleasure’ (even with 'RPO-protection’ in front of the closed door on the floor), marrying some stranger as member of the BRF is another matter ;)

<November 28th> Dear anon@ as I said, I trust him completely that there’s no relationship ;)

Dear JD, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but as I previously said we can’t interfere. The RF has its own PR advisers, so there’s a reason why it happens how it happens. Let’s wait and see what comes next. Surely the 'hollywood script’ is not over yet ;)

Dear anon@ nothing happens concerning the RF in case of 'important decisions’ without thorough consideration. Harry is a senior royal, a family member, hence he is supported by them in all decisions since the break up happened in dec 2016. Now he has to sacrifice for unconditional trust he has given this woman. ;)

<November 30th> Dear JD, if she plans to be a member of the RF she must obey their rules and protocols. All, without exception and she will be controlled by them. She doesn’t have a choice. Soon she will get the 'reality check’ ;)

Dear wemariuniverse, you’re welcome ❤ 'Thanks’ goes also to everyone who helps keeping markle’s gaslighting from this blog away. Have a nice day ;)

Dear 'nice troll’ anon@ I visit JD’s blog since dec. 2016, opened first time in my life a 'public’ account on DM to support Harry and started to comment on JD’s blog in April. Felix and JD knew about me since then and I didn’t mind to be called an 'anon’ for long time, bcs I wasn’t here for 'attention’. A dear 'friend ❤’ 'baptized’ me “winky/wink”, now my asks being more noticed. I have over 300 posts and I never made myself important, bcs I’m not. And I never forced anyone to believe me. ;)

<Dec 3rd> Dear JD, PC is a wise man who is doing what a loving father does, tries to bail Harry out of this difficult, complex situation. The RF is fully aware of the current mood. If this case would be so easily to solve, it would be done already. I’m not giving up the hope, that with the right strategy she will end up in the place she belongs.. in Hm’s pleasure ;)

In some way he is a victim in some way he bears the responsibility for his own fault, bcs he didn’t consider his status and had trusted someone after a short period so easily. As I said before fateful encounters never happen out of the blue, they happen if we have forget paying attention to some of the main values in our life ;) ❤

<Dec 6th> G'morning JD. Dear 'questions’ anon@ As I said previously we can’t interfere. The solution of the 'markle’s problem’ depends on the right strategy by the RF. There’s a reason for everything what happens and it’s up to them (not me..) what they uncover to protect their reputation. JD has 'special’ and support and she is trusted. Thank you for your understanding. ;)

Well, after the “prediction”, just wondering what she is going to do when suits “announce” the H+M break up and also the show is over for her. It sounds like the false strategy, isn’t? ;)

<Dec 7th> Dear JD, I don’t think anyone expects her doing the 'right thing’.. She should recall a moment of happiness from her early childhood. She should feel it. Then she should recall a moment from one of her saddest moment in her life. She should feel it. From now the second will be her constant companion… 'If you’re losing your soul and you know it, than you have still got a soul left to lose’. ;)

Dear JD, there’s a reason for everything. Markle’s 'status’ isn’t as same as before the 'engagement’. It seems she is missing it. New status new circumstances.. ;)

<Dec 11th> Dear anon@ I know she doesn’t care about 'love’, that’s why none of her comments including their mutual feelings for each other. Bcs there’s nothing sort of to share. It just proves there’s no relationship.. ;)

Dear JD, we aren’t surprised, are we?.. However she will never be able to bear royal duty, no matter how she tries advertising herself up in 'comments sections’ as 'future Duchess’. She obviously lost the connection to reality.. ;)

G'morning JD. Markle seems to forget that it is the inner bond of mutual love that partners share in a relationship keeps the 'connection’ alive and not empty words. ;)

“what is the difference between 'I like you’ and 'I love you’…. Buddha answered: "When you like a flower, you just pluck it. But when you love a flower, you water it daily. One who understands this, understands life”. ;)❤

<Dec 13th> Dear MAK@ as I said previously we cannot interfere. We all are spectators in this game. The RF has its own PR and I trust HM and PC, no matter how it seems like… ;)

Dear JD, I wouldn’t be worry about Sandringham. It is usually very formal. The members of the RF do know the truth and how she coerced her way into them.. as you know I’m not working for the royal PR. She will get a reality check that her illusions and the reality are worlds apart, if it happens… However I would agree with the Dickie comment, but this is my personal opinion ;)

Dear MAK@ Monday happened her rant.. ;)

Dear JD, as you know any help is highly appreciated. ;) ❤

<Dec 15th> You know JD, whoever is behind the 'wedding date’ has a great sense of humor to lighten this 'most unfortunate’ moment… ;)

Dear JD, no matter what kind of difficulty we may found ourselves in, some opportunity to fight our way out can always be found so let us face the future with courage ;)❤

Dear anon@ if Harry resigns Markle doesn’t get what she longs for. Money and fame…Harry as person doesn’t matter for her, but his status he represents. She would ditch Harry in a second and would sell her 'love-story’ to media for huge amount of money. This is a coerced 'relationship’, not one based on mutual love. ;)

<Dec 18th> Was it really Harry who wrote to you and thanked you on this blog? Did you check IP address? If harry has been here then he would have seen mm’s rants that you posted. : Wink thanked me😀, he would have seen and not happy about the bashing. No more satire. Don’t worry about the IP, it’s done discreetly.

Dear Skippy, you truly have a beautiful colourful blog. I thought it would be appropriate saying thank you for all your support here on your blog. 'No beauty shines brighter than that of a good heart’. God bless ❤ ;)

Thank you dear wemariuniverse for your kind words.❤ Sometimes we just need a bit more time and patience to overcome tough times, the challenge is then to silence the mind. The RF is an united front and Harry is supported. We all face up to challenges from time to time in our life, but 'luckily’ those happen privately without being 'accompanied’ by mindful eyes worldwide. Keep the faith ❤ ;)

Dear JD, I’m emotionally not connected with Markle nor her supporters, thus they cannot hurt me, I simply don’t care about them, but thank you for your concern ❤. It’s up to everyone what she/he wants to believe, it’ s okay being doubtful or faithful. Keep up the good work and mold your lovely blog as you like. I have thanked Skippy yesterday for her support on her lovely colourful blog. ;) ❤

G'morning JD, hope you are fine. Dear anons@ why should Harry spend his time on bashing some random blog none ever heard about? He would then have to do that all day long all over the place based on the current mood towards him. Please, just use common sense. ;)

Dear anon ❤@ 'wink’ or ’ lovely’…It’s early morning in Florida ;) yet she had understood the message of the truth. Markle has reached a point in her 'adventure’, where she has to face the state authorities with legal documents, pics, plane tickets, messages, mails.. which she cannot deceive without seriously consequences. She will be captured by her lies. JD + the tumblr team + lot of lovely anons are resistant against her gaslighting, bcs their hearts are pure ;)

Dear anons@ I just wanted to thank everyone who had put a good word for me ❤… 'Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intend of throwing it at someone else, you are the one who gets burned’…. God bless 'team Harry’ ;)❤

“I don’t want expensive gifts, I don’t want to be bought… I have everything I want. I just want someone to be there for me, to make me feel safe and secure..” Princess Diana ❤ ;)

Dear JD, the chart you posted doesn’t tell me anything, but it seems none of you know about its existence. Or do you? Harry surely knows about the continuously basing on him on these blogs but he only visited one side.. but it’s up to you what you believe in. ;)

Dear JD, some 'big challenge’- periods in our life presupposes more patience and endurance, we should submit ourselves to the will of God. There’s always a reason for their appearance in our life. 'Fear has to meanings: forget everything and run or face everything and rise’ ;)

<Dec 20th> Dear not just Brits but Team-Harry ;)❤… no one should underestimate HM.. The RF knows what the deal is… She surely was welcomed with british courtesy so would say there’s no reason for any insults about the RF’s members on different social media platforms anymore, is it?… ;)

Dear Harry, the answers to life questions is often in people’s face/eyes…. No storm last forever.. Just be natural in showing your true feelings in her company, like today’s pics in the car.. sending positive thoughts to soften your pain. Keep the faith ❤ ;)

Dear anon@ please reread my previously asks on the blog. As it was said it takes time to handle this matter..The RF knows exactly what it is doing, no matter how it appears. The work is done in the background. ;)

<Dec 21st> Harry has faced the reality in Dec. 2016 and nothing has changed since then… He will keep playing 'his part" in this game as long as it is necessary to solve the difficulty… Until this day markle (as 'financee’ is only pictured with Harry.. RF knows what’s the deal is. ;)

Well… A senior british royal sits with his 'financee’ in the official 'engagement’ pictures outside of the palace on the dirty stairs… That’s telling… ;)

G'morning JD. Let’s start the day with a positive thought… “If you have been brutally broken, but still have the courage to be gentle to others, then you deserve a love deeper than the ocean itself”… have a blessed day everyone ;) ❤

<Dec 22nd> Dear JD, “only those who care about you, can hear you when you are quiet”… ;)❤

Dear 'part’ anon@ you seem missing a lot of details in this long-term story. He didn’t know until Dec. 2016 about her colourful past . Nobody did…. It was JD who started the investigations.. all relevations about Markle were the result of JD’s+ Tumblr-team+ helpful anons tireless efforts during the entire year. She betrayed his trust based on the scam she imposed on him, she is now taking advantage of her knowledge. Coercion. She had kind of experience ;)

Dear anon @ we are spectators in this game, but I feel certain the RF is aware what Markle is. The outcome for Harry depends on the Royal PR’s strategy, I think it will work out, but surely Harry will take a bad hit. He needs to be seen on work out on daily basis, than the mood may will change sooner than later towards him. The majority of the Brits will be relieved she is gone ;)

Dear JD, bcs the pics aren’t natural, they obviously don’t have chemistry… It’s like watching a fashion magazine commercial ;)

Dear ckob ❤@ there’s a reason for everything what happens. I think he understands what is expected from him in this game, and he has to do it whether he likes it or not, but when he gets the opportunity, he shows everyone clearly his true feelings about her.- 'car pics’ ;)

Dear JD, 'life is just like a sea, we are moving without end. Nothing stays with us, what remains is just the memories of people who touched us as waves’ … Harry will weather the storm. He has a greatness in him. The key is to take it out, he is surely learning to make better choices. ;)

By the way, I don’t think the RF will release any short of 'dirt’ on Markle, it will be the media…. ;)

G'morning JD. Dear anon@ as I said it before, I feel certain he will play 'his part’ as long as it is necessary, don’t worry… ;)

Dear anons@ it’s still december… May is a long way to go.. Let’s feel the Christmas’s spirit of love and hope. As the late Princess of Wales Diana said: “Family is the most important thing in the world. The only reason for marriage is love” ;) ❤

<Dec 23rd> Dear JD, just listen to your heart, as you did when you started this journey ;) whatever the us tabloids have on her it will come out one day, it’s the responsibility of the royal PR how to deal with it. Hope the RF will include in its prayers all those lovely souls who stood up against her gaslighting and fighted for the truth with tireless efforts during the whole year. Keep the faith ;) ♥

Dear JD, could you please reblog 'PR anons’ timeline about Markle’s PR plan after she and Harry had the first 'date’, to contradict the other theory? She posted it at the time my 'Diana-Charles natural pic’ comment. Thank you ;)

Dear JD, it is just a temporary life-experience, not something that will last forever.. fateful encounters never happen out of blue, there’s a reason for their appearance in our life, and that’s good so, bcs we are here to learn and develop our soul. Don’t worry I’m always in a place of peace ;) Life is just a journey, you cannot recognise good times, when you don’t have bad ones. The good times become great memories the bad ones great lessons.. Have a blessed day everyone ;) ❤

Isn’t just interesting that after she understood her mistake and faced criticism for something she alone bears the responsibility the blame is putting on someone else again … ;)

<Dec 24th> Don’t worry JD, God is just ;) Merry Christmas everyone have a blessed day ❤

Dear JD, I also found “MM pr campaign failed to get her jobs…”. Then “ since then it appears she is using JM…” And “ if you have a real relationship you do not need pr…” Thank you ;)

G'day JD. Well in case of an official engagement Markle’s completely past would become an open book to the public, bcs the Brits are entitled to know about it. Long forgotten moments will come to the light. Rather no Cinderella story.. as part 4 anon stated markle still hides many skeletons in the cupboard and likely prefers to keep them there. The media is powerful and has the financial resources to open “archieves’ regardless of their recent 'status’. Nothing can save her tgen ;)

<Dec 25th> May is still a long way to go, let’s wait and see what happens in the coming months. This case must be handled very carefully… Wishing Harry and the RF all the best ;)

Dear JD, considered not 'legal’ bcs HM’s approval + privy are still missing and the engagement is coerced not based on mutual agreement. ;)

Just wanted to add, I think it’s interesting that none of the 'offical engagement’ pictures of H + Markle was chosen, but the one with her strange posture. Snarky… ;)

Good morning JD and Merry Christmas :) I wanted to say very quickly that HM does not choose the images she has out. They are done by her courtiers, and will be done to reflect what they think is best for the nation to know about them. Interestingly, they’ve put their photo next to PC and C’s. They were - up until PH and MM - the most disliked Royal couple. The Queen will have no say in the images, but rather, she will know that she needs to comment in her own subtle way.

G'morning JD. This 'relationship’ is not supported by the RF, bcs there’s no relationship, but coercion..There’s a reason for everything, it’s about 'fraud of trust’, hence this case must be handled very carefully..Markle doesn’t enjoy any short of 'help’ concerning her 'behaviour’ based on her 'role’, bcs her 'financée status’ is not 'legal’. She is on her own, she knows that well, but doesn’t care, bcs she is blinded by her greed and lust of power. Dear ckob@ thank you and Merry Christmas ❤ ;)

Kate is shining on the pictures alongside William you clearly can spot the sparkle of happiness in her eyes.. God bless her and William for all their support and sacrifice for Harry, despite Markle’s maliciously insults on them on different social media forums throughout the entire year. ;)

<Dec 27th> G'day JD, sending you positive energy ❤. Not sure why Harry has to play radio presenter.. But even if, being diplomatic with short bland answers concerning this relationship is always the best way to avoid misunderstandings and makes us supporter easyer doing our work, even it is well-meaning from his side.. Not sure why Markle still pushes this way. After Sandringham even the european Media started questioning her personality. The public is aware of the falseness of this 'relationship’. ;)

<Dec 28th> G'day JD, sending you positive energy ❤. Not sure why Harry has to play radio presenter.. But even if, being diplomatic with short bland answers concerning this relationship is always the best way to avoid misunderstandings and makes us supporter easyer doing our work, even it is well-meaning from his side.. Not sure why Markle still pushes this way. After Sandringham even the european Media started questioning her personality. The public is aware of the falseness of this 'relationship’. ;)

Dear JD, as I said it’s about 'fraud of trust’.. I’m not part of the RPR, thus I still looking for an explanation why it was a good idea giving a british senior royal a 'job’ as a radio presenter. The majority of the British admires HM bcs of her strength keeping the traditional values alive and being strongly neutral concerning politics. I just wondering also about Markle. A narc who wants to harm herself? That’s new. The RF has the long run. Money &fame is in a different direction to find ;)

Dear JD, Markle is heading in the wrong direction. I don’t think she is missing the worldwide reactions on her appearances with the RF. If she wants to lose all her credibility also by those, who really didn’t care until now.. well let’s do it.. she wants fame, money, rich partner, the RF is the wrong 'contact person’. She didn’t like to curtsey. She noticed 'the look’ very well.. Well that’s the world of rules in the Firm.. Florida is full of wealthy men who are looking for a celebrity wife ;)

Dear JD I think you should put away emotions and think reasonably at what’s going on. If PH is truly an honest person he will eventually win and get back a good name. Till than he has to sacrify his popularity. He has to drawn with her, doesn’t he? Maybe I dont see clearly. But whats obvious is that MM sold her soul and her master is dragging her into insanity more and more. She wont stop. Has she attacked Eugiene and Yorks? They’re easy target. Maybe she should try with sb more likeable? :)

Dear anon@ I’m not a part of the royal PR, hence I don’t have to agree on everything they suggest. I’m here to help in the Markle’s case, and when it’s over I will return to my peacefully old life ;) However I appreciate traditional values and admires the Queen for her strictly point of view concerning them. I think considering the current times we should keep maintaining the strategy that worked very well in the past long years. Harry is a 'charity personality’ and should stick to it. ;)

Dear JD, the 'put away emotions’ comment wasn’t me. ;)❤

Dear wemariuniverse, that’s sweet, thank you ❤. 'Every experience no matter how bad it seems, holds within a blessing of some kind. The goal is to find it’ ;)❤

<Dec 29th> G’m JD. Dear anons@ we witness Harry’s suffering every time when they are spotted together. No love, no respect for each other from both side..Yet you say he wants to marry her bcs of 'rebellion’. Where is the reason for this allegedly rebellion? HE is backed up by his family and he clearly appreciates the help. We should hold on for a minute.. This man lost within shortest time everything he lived/worked for: his life essence, his reputation, support of people. His mistake was - giving trust ;)

Dear anon@ I feel certain there’s a plan, HM has shown clearly Harry is a trusted member of the RF, regardless of the circumstances. We were asked many times for more confidence & patience regarding to the difficulty of this case. It’s about 'fraud of trust’… I know there is no relationship, nor is an unfounded rebellion, nor is it his wish being married to a woman who he barely knows. It is an attack on the RF, all her moves just proves her motives. I think Harry will escape at the end.. ;)❤

would like to add: There are still people with knowledge out there and follow these blogs, who still keep pondering what is right and what is wrong.. listen to your heart.. How people treat you is their karma, how you react is yours… 'betrayal doesn’t only break your heart but also darkens your soul. You will never forget the pain like a fog, that forever lingers in the depths of your mind’.. keep the faith Harry, sending you a lot of positive thoughts and keep in mind, life is a journey ;) ❤

Dear JD, regarding to your last comment on me.. I’m not here bcs I’m 'interested in this dilemma’, I came here to help, not the same…, yet I’m not 'the one’ who can/will solve Harry’s problem.. IMO marriage in case of such kind of human beings like Markle and her actings not the solution, hence why should it happen.. I don’t doubt for one second HM’s wisdom and determination in dealing with her. For an ingenious PR there’s no hopeless case.. May is still a long way to go. All the best JD. ;)

<Dec 31st> Happy new year JD, Skippy, Felix, Tumblr-members and everyone else. ❤ Have a faith in your dreams and someday your rainbow will come shining through. No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep believing, the dream you wish will come true. ;)

Dear Skippy, the RF is staying united behind Harry and Harry is doing what he was told to do.. If Markle would be a real seriously girlfriend there were plenty opportunities in the past year showing her around. NEVER happened, instead of we got faked pics. 2 day before the 'engagement’ Markle was described by BP as "love life”. The RF is aware of her. She betrayed his trust more than once. Coercion. Not one pic has shown real feelings btw them. He plays his part as long as it is necessary. ;)

Don’t worry dear Skippy, the RF knows what Markle is. There’s time for everything. They are working on a solution to save their reputation. Be sure your work as well as JD’s, Felix’s are appreciated. Listen to some of your anons ;) Happy new year and God bless for all your efforts. ;) ❤

<Jan 1st> G'morning dear JD. Dear anon@ of course the Firm knows what Markle is, therefore Harry is supported by it all the way along. He is doing what he was told to do.. She betrayed his trust more than once, hence this case must be handled very carefully.. I’m sure Harry is terrible sorry for causing all this happening not just for HM, who he deeply respects, but else for his family & all his supporters. If people have understood it’s about the RF not just about Harry, they’ve understood the game. ;)

Dear anon@ Harry has deepest respect for HM, so I don’t doubt for a moment that any short of advice concerning this matter would be rejected by him, he bears a part of the responsibility in this happening after all. PC loves his sons and will support them come rain or shine.. ;)

Dear 'stubborn’ anon@ 'magic happens when you do not give up, even though you want to. The universe always falls in love with a stubborn heart. ;) ❤ Dear 'playing part’ anon@The RF is a worldwide respected 'institution’, can you imagine the damage if someone like Markle with her very colorful past, obviously shown disrespect for HM & Monarchy & for the British nation would be allowed join them? As Diana said:. 'the only reason for marriage is love’ .. well I don’t see any btw H + M ;)

Dear anon@ God is the universe, thus universe is love, bcs God is love. If you follow my comments you will discover we share the same opinion about love & faith & fate ;) I’m not sure what exactly doesn’t fit with my thesis: not one pics with real feelings of love& tenderness, but strange behaviour, missing respect, she was a 'secret’ for 1 year..why? Harry is allegedly so happy in love. He changed since IG. The difference is very obviously. I never forced anyone to believe me. You’re free ;)

Just wanted to add. Being 'stubborn’ in an opinion for a year (.) in a happening where gaslighting happens on daily basis to destroy an another human being, I don’t see it as negative as you do. It just proves, that no matter what happens there are still people out there who are trying keeping the truth alive. His truth. Even sometimes that means being alone and getting bashed all along. One day else those who are still pondering what’s right or wrong may weave for supporting. Time will tell ;)

<Jan 3rd> G'morning JD. Dear JD I find your efforts extraordinary still being present here on daily basis, despite all the pain you’re suffering. Wishing you speed recovery, God bless for your kindness ❤ dear lily @ if I recall correctly, everyone expected an 'engagement’ on a Friday, but nothing happened, KP/CH declined a comment, except BP, who stated, not interested commenting on Harry’s 'love life’. Then suddenly we got an 'engagement’, with an irritated 'Harry, full of lies, strange gestures/1 ;)

Cont - she merched as usually, inappropriate shoes &behaviour for a future 'royal’, the 'last minute’ ring didn’t fit, they were sent away to the garden, and a confused Harry, who rolled his eyes and were ashamed of all the lies she had put on display. She wasn’t planned for IG. Whatever 'role’ Harry plays in this project, it is his project, his labour of love and his name is used to gather sponsors and get worldwide attention for it. Watch his face on the OC, when he noticed her. Pure despair/2

Cont - his family helped him out, his status was changed, and she was given the 'appearance’ she coerced. She betrayed his trust and it’s up to the RF what they uncover to protect their& Harry’s reputation. Harry is British Senior Royal, therefore this case must be handled very carefully. Harry isn’t alone, there’s a team behind him and he will listen to the advice and will obey it, whether he likes or not. The RF is a worldwide respected 'institution’, they know what they’re doing./3

Cont - there’s no relationship, neither Markle nor Harry try to give the impression there’s any short of except a “deal”, that Harry has to accept (.) whether he likes/not, bcs of 'fraud of trust’, to protect that what he has to protect..I personally don’t care about privy and other things, bcs the RF doesn’t handle things on this way. I also don’t care, whether she gets some more appearances, she screwed all her previous up, she is done in the public, it just can be worser for her.Let’s go ;)

Dear wemariuniverse@ the IG happening was just about her appearance in this military sportevent, she coerced. We shouldn’t mix what short of plans Markle had and how much Harry knew about them. She betrayed in the short time they spent together more than once his trust. He and the RF were caught of guard, they didn’t know about until IG, thus everything happened unexpected and against the RF’s rules & protocols.. she has shown at Sandringham she doesn’t care about him, never did. She used him ;)

Dear vintage@ If we take a look at the public opinion about her concerning before & after 'engagement’ it’s obviously the mood towards her changed dramatically, although the majority of the tabloids readers aren’t common with Tumblr. She doesn’t have any future in the UK/CW countries, no matter which 'status’ she 'enjoys’. She screwed up each one of her appearances, bcs she doesn’t understand the 'royal reality’. Such blunders aren’t tolerated by public & Media, they have a long memory ;)

<Jan 4th> G'morning JD. Dear anon@ after their join appearances we could witness, do you get the impression he wants to marry a woman, who he barely knows, who betrayed his trust more than once, neither loves nor respects but uses him and HM/ RF for money making to make her own screwed up life 'valuable’? He broke up with her in Dec. 2016 and nothing has changed his opinion about her since then. Harry has deepest respect for HM and her dedication to her destiny, but stimes it’s our fate that strikes ;)

Dear ckob@ we cannot force things to happen if the right time has not arrived yet..If we allow being captured in a negatively spiral we would become like her and her supporters. Angry, nervous, insecure, but we are different. We have faith.. We were asked to have more confidence and patience. Harry is the one, who suffers from humiliation and misery in the public eye on daily basis. Do you think he 'enjoys’ it? He suffers terribly. The firm shouldn’t be underestimated ;)

<Jan 6th> G'morning dear JD. Could you please reblog “smoke and mirrors” from 28th Dec. from Skippy’s blog? Thank you. ❤ And dear anons@ I think it’s nice to have lily as 'hearsay’ among us, who knows details concerning a part of this story we don’t ;)

<Jan 7th> G'morning JD. Again the old same warmed up rumors to support Harry’s bashing.. How many times we had the 'gay’, 'abusive’, 'complicit’, 'rebel’, and so on attributes for him? He spent 11 years (.)of his 'adult’ life in long-term relationship(s) without being called out on this way.. Chelsy, Cress and the american girl loved him without putting their shared intimate moments out to the public. He was seemingly happy and had sparkle bcs he was in love. This woman was a short affair, nothing more ;)

Dear anon 'whose ask doesn’t appear on JD’s@ I didn’t say Markle has smth 'bad about H’, but I said it was planned by her before she started her campaign to conquer him. She knew his weakness and used her scam betraying his trust. Whatever she uses to coerce her way into the spotlight, she snatched it by using a scam, hence it’s 'fraud of trust’ and it’s up to the RF to handle this matter, whatever it decides. However her final downfall will be to have underestimated the Firm. ;)

Dear JD, the right decision…even I have a very good understanding of what you’re talking about…;)

Dear lattedah@ the RF didn’t know Markle betrayed Harry’s trust. She kept it till IG hidden from them, like she did with the VF interview in may that was published in sept shortly before IG. Markle was given a fair agreement after she was kicked out of KP in Dec. 2016, therefore everyone had assumed, she will go away as it was appointed. What happened at IG was a shock. She acted then step by step to coercing her way into the RF, now she will learn who is in control.. ;)

<Jan 8th> Dear lattedah@ she got the agreement although KP happening bcs she was an 'ex’ who had access to Harry as British Royal to gather respectability. She got the Jam. invitation before the break up and she wasn’t expected using it. She crashed the wedding hence they were placed far away in order to avoid her interaction with others. She wasn’t expected for Polo either. Dec.2016 split - until sept. they only saw each other in these occasions, hence we got the faked airport pics in august. /1 ;)

Cont - the RF didn’t care about her after the agreement, she was an 'ex’, hence 'out of sight’, all the GC denials during the whole year just prove that she wasn’t acknowledged as someone who is in connection with them. She was underestimated (back then), until JD + Tumblr-team sent them the'file-markle’, but even those who have revealed her true self were caught off guard at IG and are still in shock how treacherous she acted in dealing with Harry. /2

By the way concerning the latest blind/the RF members aren’t allowed holding political offices, but surely all her prev. influential clients follow carefully this happening, bcs she is know who she is in these circles… I think some of them already asked secretly - “will I also be mentioned if her past will hit the headlines in the future?”..well Markle will discover by each day that at the end the RF decides about her future, no rants & lies & rumors will help her to change this fact. ;)

Dear anon@ neither Harry nor the RF are agreeable with all this, but Harry has to agree (.) at the moment regardless of the humiliation and suffering he experiences in the public eye on daily basis.. She was given an agreement that she agreed, but didn’t stick to it. Her 'acceptance’ into the RF will never happen. We all make mistakes, nobody is perfect. Harry is supported by his family and always will be. The RF will not give her what she longs for. Fame & money are to be fetched elsewhere.. ;)

<Jan 9th> Just wanted to add 'dear anon’@ this case is difficult, I appreciate 'trust’ and loyalty, thus I’m fully aware of my limits, therefore whatever happens it’s up to the RF to handle this matter and uncover as much as it finds appropriate to protect its reputation. Markle reads this blogs on daily basis, hence everything is being said concerning the 'plan’ should be considered carefully. So I’m not going to say anything that would harm Harry’s good 'outcome’ of this farce.. ;)

<Jan 10th> Dear JD, just remember 'smoke and mirrors’..;)

<Jan 11th> Voodoo doesn’t have power if you refuse to believe it. If your faith is strong enough no human being can harm you. God is the Almighty. Dear anon@the late Princess of Wales loved her 'job’ and understood her destiny Harry has deepest respect for her, no way he would be keen soiling her memories with s.one like Markle who is missing main values of humanity. Diana was a pure soul, had charisma, warmth, understanding for people’s needs regardless of race, gender, disease. The Queen of the hearts❤;)

Dear anon@ humans have their ups and downs..If you have a good soul and you got far away from the right path, you will get a challenge, calls life-experience. Everyone decides for themselves how is going to deal with it. As single adult man Harry is free to look for pleasures where he thinks it’s okay for him. In relationships he was always faithful.(11 yrs). Based on his respect for his late mother he never would choose s.one he is ashamed as his beloved wife and future royal from free will ;)

<Jan 12th> G'morning JD. Dear 'merching’ anon@ Harry is an adult man with his own taste in clothes. I’m neither his mother not his PR adviser to think about what he is wearing. I personally think it doesn’t matter, after all he doesn’t have the 'Kate effect’, and I didn’t see anyone who cares about. However may someone of the PR is listening and will tell him your concern. Thank you for your understanding. ;)

Dear JD, not sure you got my previously ask about privy.. however summed up: I personally don’t care about whether this case is being discussed or delayed or whatsoever…May is still a long way to go ;)

Well whatever the tabloids have on her one day it will come out for money-making reasons… I think she does know that well, but she wants to take the RF with her.. therefore I’m still saying it’s an attack on them.. ;)

Dear JD, did you get my answer? I think there were 4 or five… The good morning, privy long ( you didn’t receive) privy summary, 'well’ and 'sugarpoints’ based on Skippy’s blog. I’m on holiday so perhaps that’s the reason why my asks disappear on the way to you ;)

4th try/dear JD, I think you misunderstood my comment. I just commented on the 'sugar comment about overwhelmed Markle’.. I meant by my comment, that if the 'relationship’ would be serious, Harry would have waited to propose, bcs being a member of the RF/representing the nation requires careful preparation like Kate had, which takes years and Harry understands the responsibility. Markle’s 'overwhelming’ behaviour comes from her insecurity, bcs she tries display everytime a 'new personality’.. ;)

That’s okay JD ❤ surely some people don’t like the truth and trying to discredit us. I’m always answering when I’m 'around’. Interesting NE article… So there is a stuff about Markle out there which is 'valuable’ after an 'amount’ was marked… Whatever happens it won’t be an 'all’s well that ends well’s… Hoping for the best outcome for the RF ;)

Don’t worry dear JD, …'just continue doing what you’re doing’… Harry is his mother’s son, he appreciates the loyal support through thick and thin. I feel certain the memories of his beloved mother will be maintained how she deserves it and the late Princess of Wales will not be polluted by constant companions in the tabloids for years with s.one who imitates her to gather attention for herself and despises HM and the RF. I expect a bad hit, but feel certain he will come out stronger. ;)

There is zero chance Meghan did not plant that blind tiara bit. God, she’s so pathetic. The feminist she claims to be would give a fu@k about tiaras. She is anything butt. ;)

Dear JD, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but the 'tiara’ comment wasn’t me. She is 'Markle’ for me.. ;)

Trevor’s TV project: “It is the untitled project’s premise that will get attention on both sides of the Atlantic: Divorce is hard. Sharing custody is harder. Sharing custody with the British Royal family when your wife marries a prince, in the unforgiving spotlight of London’s tabloid media, is next level.” It’s not based on true events, well.. not the kid part, anyway ;)

I don’t visit other blogs except where the truth to be found.. on yours, Skippy’s and Felix’s… therefore I don’t care who entertains herself by imitating me somewhere else, but on this blogs I will surely comment, as I did it previously.. ;)

<Jan 13th> G'morning JD. I don’t think Markle will go near to the Spencer tiara ever.. She does everything on purpose, hence I believe the true reason behind her imitation the late Princess of Wales serves more the intention to hurt Harry, than an 'obsession with the person Diana’, that explains her constantly transformation in different personalities in different occasions. She will never be successful, bcs 'the most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen nor touched, they’re felt with the heart’ ;)

Dear Skippy, I think her main problem is, she doesn’t want to understand, that nobody counts her PR articles she puts out nor is counted the number of acts she appears with Harry, the public just remember the impression she makes and she screwed up each one of her appearances. Lying is her habit and the public didn’t fall for her 'coverage’, the more 'inside’ stories show up the more she will be rejected. Mistake to believe the truth can be hidden with a little cover-up and decoration.. ;)

Dear 'determined’ anon@ no, you’re wrong… there’s a limit, and that ends at the legacy and memories of the late Princess of Wales… Diana respected the Queen, the Monarchy and adored her sons.. She was a fighter and had courage facing painfully downs in her life. There’s still a strong 'bond’ of ❤ btw her and her sons that Markle never will understand. As much as it hurts Harry has to face the storm one day. Pains happen to everyone. We all have flaws, imperfection is part of being human. ;)

Dear anon @ I never changed my 'version’ of this happening… This case is difficult. Harry is a British Royal and not some Hwood VIP or politician… You are free to believe what you want to believe. Everyone is entitled to her/his opinion, and that should be so.. ;)

<Jan 14th> G'morning JD. Yesterday I thought about why such asks like 'determined’s are coming. Should that mean Markle intends to break her current 'agreement’? ( As she did it with her previously..)The 'storm’ is the revelation of her very colorful past the tabloids have on her and not something that concerning 'private matters’ of Harry’s trust while she used a scam to betray him. It seems she still threatens him through social media revealing those although she has an agreement? … Hmmm ;)

Dear anon@ there are different PRs in work we shouldn’t mix them. No PR had said, Harry is making demands based of his 'arrogance’. NYC just stated her personal opinion, and she didn’t have knowledge about the IG happening.. Those who know exactly what is going on don’t talk badly about Harry on the blogs, they just drop hints. But as cheers anon said, not even those who may had a plan could suspect the 'changes’, bcs not everything is being shared with everyone. This is a difficult case… ;)

<Jan 16th> G'day dear JD, hope you are fine. Well I think 'giving’ her a staff means she had to admit to herself she lost control and cannot be 'herself’, but had to obey the rules and protocols concerning her behaviour when she is on 'officially duty as future royal member’ with Harry. She also doesn’t have say on the schedule and has to accept however it turns out.. Meanwhile she had understood who is in control and based on the latest 'fight’ - articles’ her PR pulled out, she doesn’t like it.. ;)

<Jan 17th> G'morning Skippy. Dear anon@ I used for 'future royal member’ a quote mark… I think Harry is underestimated. He has inner strength, deeply respect for HM and his late mother memories and he is loyal to the monarchy.. Can you imagine how it hurt him to say, Diana would have given her approval? Diana always said, the only reason for marriage is love…but there’s no love.. I don’t think the outcome depends on Markle, but the case is difficult. There are more 'players’ in this game.. ;)

G'morning JD, wishing you speed recovery.♡ dear anon@ I agree with you on giving Harry bit more time and having patience. I never would give up on him no matter how this case -may filled with relevations - turns out.. He is a lovely soul. Some of us need more time find their goal, others less. As it says your last mistake is your best teacher… ;)

<Jan 18th> G'morning JD would like to make a note to the CDNA rant. Regardless of the privy’s or whoever else’s decisions (whom I personally don’t give the significance than others may do) there’ s no such as 'stage of no return’ in this case… Markle will never have the respect and public support she longs for, bcs based on her not existent own personality & empathy & charisma she is not able giving the people a reason to like her, she just gives the reason them to watch her (how that then turns out) ;)

Dear JD, we are as strong as our will and a will finds a way… Harry served for his country, saw people die and suffering terrible injuries. The extraordinary sportsmen/women at the IG teached us all, that everything is possible when we deeply believe in our goals, regardless of the though circumstances. Harry has inner strength. Everyone we meet is afraid of something, loves something and has lost something. When we help one other everyone wins.. ;)

Dear JD, don’t worry. There’s time for everything. If you remember Harry said previously, he was wondering back then how people across the world could love/support his mother without knowing her in person. It was not just her charisma, empathy, naturality in dealing with ppl regardless of race, gender, disease made ppl love her, but also her strength and courage in dealing with painfully challenges in her life. Harry is his mother’s son, he will weather this period in his life. He is strong ;)

<Jan 19th> Dear ckob@ after all months they (still) only captured together on public appearances, so why do you assume he is rooting for her? Bcs he did his job on duty professional? How he really feels? Let me explain briefly: If someone pushes a knife for example in your mother’s back while intructs you 'I want you to smile!’ otherwise you will have hard consequences, what would you do? Would you go away without consideration?… He is coerced and he just 'fulfills’ his part of the agreement.. ;)

G'morning JD. Not sure about your comment on me about the 'assistant.’ If you have time please re-read my last comments carefully, but just in case if you’re still interested in my opinion. Thank you. One day people will understand it’s a difficult case bcs of his status and rushing with things doesn’t bring them nowhere.. ;)

Dear JD, she can have an 'assistant’ to let her believe she is 'supported’, but on the same time to ensure they have as little as possible interaction with each other… I don’t see any short of contradiction… and I also didn’t notice 'romantic’, 'love’ nor 'lust’ in their yesterday’s appearance. They went out, did their appearance as 'engaged couple’ concerning their current 'status’, then returned to the place apart from each other where each of them belongs to.. all the best JD ;)

Dear ckob@ I understand your concern. Harry is on the horns of a dilemma and surely it’s not an easy ride, but perhaps he can take also the difficulty of our work (afterwards) in consideration during his further appearances. (If any).. Thank you for your understanding. ;)

Dear JD, would like to make a note regarding to the claims 'he can end it every time he will’. NO he cannot… logically he would already have done that, wouldn’t he?…People agree there’s no relationship, no love, no lust but obviously an agreement btw two parties, yet Harry wants to keep this farce going on by punishing himself for a year from free will in public eye, damages the reputation of his family without any seriously reason? He is still trusted by HM and supported for a reason.. ;)

<Jan 20th> G'morning JD. Dear 'merch’ anon@ I aready answered your question, that I personally don’t care what Harry is wearing and I don’ t know anyone who cares except few people on tumblr. Harry was papped at Zara buying underwear/clotes and I never heard people have stormed the store afterwards to do the same, although anyone could be able afford the prices.. merching with a 'vip’ happens on purpose to increase the profit, but in Harry’s case truly nobody cares about the brand of his clothes… ;)

Dear JD. Why I shouln’t be okay? It’s saturday, so I may a bit later on. Sent you already an ask.. thank you ;)♡

<Jan 21st> G'morning dear JD. Just keep calm and carry on and believe that everything in our life happens for a reason. It’s Harry’s challenge and he himself must walk the path. As for markle. She has underestimated the consequences of the coerced 'engagement’. She lost totally control about her image and has to live with constant criticism, she surely cannot bear. She has underestimated the huge responsibility& work& expectations the 'royal status’ presume. Not a lottery win at all..;)

Dear JD, the RF does know exactly whom it is dealing with, hence we were asked for patience and confidence.. ;)

Dear JD, any short of the Tumblr-team’s advice that helps to solve this case is taken seriously, but it should be also considered that rushing things which presume a certain amount of time to be solved, won’t achieve the same result with impatience. This emotionally case must be handled cool headed, regardless of the circumstandes. Don’t worry… Thank you ;) ♥

<Jan 22nd> Lovely news today dear JD. Congratulation and best wishes to Eugenie ♡ Jack + delighted parents. Have a blessed day everyone ;) ♥

<Jan 23rd> G'morning JD. Dear anon@ this is not my blog but JD’s hence I don’t have to comment on every comment JD shares with her readers. I comment when I was asked or would like to express my opinion. Time to time I’m also on skippy’s blog. We are living in different time zones, thus I’m not here 24 hours. I usually comment on Harry’s part rarely in markle’s bcs I don’t care about her. Today is 23th january and the allegedly 'wedding’ should happen in the 19th may. Long way to go.. ;)

I sent this ask also to skippy bcs I thought you didn’t get it. Would like to add to dear anons, that I don’t know lily’s whereabouts nor what markle suppose to do. I already expressed my opinion about privy & the 'wedding’. We are still in January. Thank you for your understanding. ;)

<Jan 24th> G'morning JD. I don’t see Harry as 'puppet’ rather someone who is coerced on a brutally way disrespect his family’s traditions and his beloved Granny the british Queen who served the Crown for over 65 years with all her heart. How it feels? Well after 1 year apprenticeship Harry surely understood his lesson. How it feels being coerced by a woman (after split) who still tries using his beloved mother’s memories to hurt & to use & to punish him for money making reasons?.. keep the faith Harry ;) ♥

Dear JD, when the right time has arrived Harry will leave this case behind him..He is correct and sticks to the 'agreement’, to protect what he has to protect..Just because we don’t see 'actions’ it doesn’t mean nothing happens behind the scenes..The Firm shouldn’ t be underestimated.. ;)

Dear JD, she doesn’t have own personality, inside she is insecure, hence she tries having the 'overhand’ about people she is connected with. She imitates the late princess bcs she wants to hurt him. She recalls 'roast chicken’ by any opportunity to hurt her ex partner Cory. I don’t think they talk to each other privately much except during their public appearances.However when she recall her imaginated pic of her 'dream’ and 'reality’, would she mind there’re any similarities?rather nothing ;)

Dear JD, if the right person feels addressed by your question she/he will answer..however if markle would have the influence on him some claim, why we only got since the official 'engagement’ 3 (.) rushed public appearances of them as 'couple’ until now. Is she still a 'secret’?…;)

Dear JD, well she surely has her reasons sticking to these for her unfavorable course. Despite all her PR moves & gaslighting she still not going to happen. The reality she experiences on daily basis doesn’t match with her 'dreams’ yet she still clings to it. She is still a 'secret’ and no one wants her.. doesn’t make sense for someone like her who loves controlling her way.. well she has to admit herself she lost it and never again will get back as long as she continues this game ;)

Dear JD, if I’m correct Harry’s appearance was annonced by KP. I didn’t read anything else ;)

Dear JD, it’s your blog, you’re free to shape it how you like. I’m just a visitor here. A lot of people came and went away..I’m still around regardless of the circumstances ;) ♡

<Jan 25th> Wishing you speed recovery JD. God bless for all your effort. It was you who started 'our’ 'journey’. ;) ♡

Dear anons@ 'status’ changes always have a reason.. I would mean if he is on officially duty he is 'on’, if he attends/ or continues as private person he is out.. IG has given us 'insight’ how fast it can happen… Wishing Harry a peacefully time in the beautiful African nature ;) ❤

Dear soooo anon@ what I said was -> there’s always a reason for a status change.. KP declined to further comment, so this is my opinion… If he finished his official duty he is a private person who is free to make his own decisions as long as he pays the bill, and after he was removed from CC, he can do what he likes as private person. If he would be so keen to see her, he would have returned.. just wondering when she has time to apply for visa when she travels across the world.. ;)

<Jan 26th> Good morning Skippy. I don’t think we have the same situation as IG. They have now an 'agreement’, she has to stick it. I also don’t think there’s a 'dramatically’ reason behind the current status change, but it’s up to them how much is revealed of it. Thank you ;)

G'morning JD. Hope you are doing well. Take care and wishing you speed recovery. Sending you a lot of positive energy. Have a wonderful day everyone. ;) ❤

Dear JD, if you have time please re-read my previously comments.. I’m not the right person to answer your question at this time. Thank you for your understanding.. ;)

Dear anon@ I would say she has to stick to the current 'agreement’, based on the different 'regulations’.. However I personally don’t see any reason for her keeping this farce going on, she cannot fulfill people’s expectations, had made too much blunders in this short time, she will be remembered as the 'one’ with the most inappropriate behaviour/mistakes not as the 'right one’. Being a 'local star’ or dealing with worldwide attention on daily basis is not the same. She may had understood.. ;)

<Jan 27th> Dear JD, I think we have currently different circumstances than before.. The RF doesn’t do things on this way.. Rumours belong to this happening as long as she is in the picture… and no, they aren’t married… ;)

Dear anon@ I’m not part of the 'agreement’ hence I’m not entitled annoncing certain details of it..There’s time for everything.. We were asked for patience and confidence. I have both.. ;)

Dear JD@ she relies on rumours keeping herself in this happening, bcs nobody truly cares. With each of her upcoming appearances she just gives the tabloids more opportunity for criticism and they will surely use anything for their clickbaits. The coerced 'engagement’ was her main mistake… ;)

Dear anon@ we were asked for patience and confidence.. If you have doubts I would recommend you reading carefully “smoke and mirrors” on Skippy’s archive that was submitted by a lovely anon ;) ❤

Dear Skippy, we should stay calm and focussing on the main point. What short of real preparations were made in case of an upcoming 'royal’ wedding except 'blinds/ rumours/’ claims? Do you see something?.. ;)

Good morning Skippy. Just wondering about some asks. What is exactly by a 'poorly agreement’ meant he should leave? Do some people never had legally contract with strict regulations? It sounds as if he enjoys punishing himself and his family? The agreement (also incl. appearances) will be over at the time as it was agreed regardless of the upcoming rumours or whatsoever. Thank you ;)

<Jan 28th> Dear WO@ a coerced human doesn’t have that much choice..Harry would never disrespect HM and the memories of his late mother regardless whatever view people have about him..I feel certain the circumstances which force him bringing both highly respected women in this happening make him very sad. But where darkness is there’s also light.. The sincere support of his family ( who knows the truth regardless of all the gaslighting) gives him inner strength to master this challenge..;)

Dear anon@ I don’t need a script to express my own opinion. Everyone is entitled to her/his opinion. I commented on JD’s blog for long months as no name anon, until I was baptized by someone else. You are free to believe what you want to believe.. this case is difficult and so is the solution.. you can listen or ignore.. we all are free ..;)

G'morning dear JD, hope you’re well. We know from experience what that means when she has to fake certain things, don’t we… have a blessed day ;) ❤

Dear anon@ he was coerced to conclude an 'agreement’ with a woman who he barely knows to protect what he has to protect… She used a well planned romantic scam back in the early period in their affair 2016 to obtain his trust.. you’ll find all the relevant informations about it on JD’s blog. She cannot have a scam on him now after they lead different lives in different places regardless of the gaslighting on her part..The coerced 'engagement’ was a mistake.. look before you leap.. ;)

Dear vintage @ life is just a journey. ’ If an egg is broken by outside force, life ends. If broken by inside force, life begins. Great things always begin from inside.’ ;) ♥

<Jan 29th> Dear 'leak’ anon@He broke up with her in Dec. 2016 and she was given the opportunity gathering credibility, but instead of we got endless rumours and faked pics during the whole year those were denied by using GC. We talked about with JD last year and I think she was underestimated. They thought she will go away as it was agreed. They were caught off guard at IG. It’s up to them how they react to her 'hidden leak-activities’. It’s known by all she is the string-puller, but she acts ill-advised;)

Good morning Skippy. Dear anon@ you misunderstood me. The coerced 'engagement’ was HER mistake, bcs the exposure of her colourful past will get much bigger coverage based on her 'new status’. Dear 'let her do’ anon@ the regulations are stated in an 'agreement’ that both parties has to obey. Breaching the contractual arrangements would have consequences. Dear anon@ I’m here to help and not breaking the trust that was given me.. hence I’m not entitled answering some questions. Thank you ;)

G'morning JD. I’m sorry lattedah I overlooked that the 'mistake’ ask was you and answered to 'anon’ on Skippy’s blog in the morning. You misunderstood me. It was markle’s mistake bcs the exposure of her colourful past will get much bigger coverage based on her new 'status’. ;) ❤

Dear Skippy I feel certain that the 'Tumblr-team’ blogs are very much appreciated and supported by certain 'circles’.. JD’s 'instinct’ started this journey and she was right all along concerning Markle’s true self ;) ❤

<Jan 30th> Dear anon@ it’s may the calm before the storm. I don’t know when and how the media will start its 'show’, but one day it will.. she will be exposed and will suffer the same fate to be used for profit relentless as she did it with the RF and Harry in the past year. She could have gone away before the storm hits her, but she had decided sticking to her game.. That’s her fate and she alone is responsible for whatever happens to her.. Harry can weather the storm with the right PR strategy. ;)

<Jan 31st> Good morning Skippy. After he discovered her true self he broke up with her and hadn’t made the impression for over 10 months he would care about her, despite the rushed statement she 'remained’ a 'secret’ until she coerced him 'noticing’ her again in a military sporting event. The current situation is a bit difficult, but where is a will there is a way.. I would mean the right PR strategy can aid and abet Harry’s good outcome of this farce and it has already been planned.. ;)

Dear JD, good morning ❤. It depends on Harry’s consideration regarding on the different 'aspects’ during/after their join appearance, as I had noted in my previously answer to ckob after their last appearance … ;)

Dear Skippy, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Those we love don’t go away, they are always connected with us through shared touching memories in our hearts… I have recommended you earlier MD. Eben Alexander’s extraordinary book - proof of heaven - and will do it again. Also avaiable as free PDF on net. Wishing you finding the inner peace after a painfully suffering. ;) ❤

Dear anon@ I think the current 'Marklegate’ has given Harry painfully insight how he should deal with this 'company’ in the future, hasn’t ? ;)

Dear Skippy, could you please repost the ask from your archive/ 20th January “MM PR is being paid by the SOHO folks, that’s why she has the best….” Submitted by a lovely anon. Thank you ❤ ;)

<Feburary 1st> Second try/G'morning JD. Dear doubtful anons@ you are free to believe what you want to believe in… Not sure when I 'changed my tune’ and what means 'she said they doing fake engagement rumors’. I didn’t know an 'engagement’ will happen. Nobody did. We all were caught off guard..I said: the rushed 'engagement’ was coerced, we cannot claim he bought the ring, it was scripted by her and full of lies, there’s no relationship but an 'agreement’ he is forced to comply for a certain amount of time ;

Dear anon@ I said she was underestimated, bcs she was given an NDA last year that she agreed but didn’t stick to it. They were caught off guard at IG. She coerced the 'engagement’. There’s an 'agreement’ with contractual arrangements for a certain amount of time. We were asked for confidence & patience based on her gaslighting. I’m not part of the RPR. The media is still playing the waiting game. I would say she may got 1-2 more appearances but nothing is predictable at these days. Let’s wait ;)

Dear WO@ he deserves being there…He served for his country. He is loved and appreciated by all his comrades..He is the 'face’ of the IG that brought the worldwide focus to this extraordinary heroes…He is the last one who wishes her presence there.. we shouldn’t prejudging situations we don’t have exactly knowledge about..I’m sure it takes him an immense inner strength to endure her at this event. Thank you for your understanding.. ;)

Dear Skippy, I’m not part of the PR. It was known for a while she will appear, so we have to accept it. I don’t see any reason for ranting and getting nervous shortly before the beginning. I feel certain Harry will ensure the veterans will get the appreciation they deserve, he is a comrade after all. We know she enjoys it hurting people around her. Veterans and IG are Harry’s labour of love. I’m sure Harry’s heart is shedding in tears…. ;)

<February 2nd> G'morning JD. Hope you’re well. I don’t see how Harry would try 'selling’ her with max. 2 appearances per month.. She also doesn’t seem interested in such kind of events, bcs the focus lies on the projects and not exclusively on her. Sending Harry positive thoughts, keep the faith.. ;)❤

Good morning Skippy. Dear 'events’ anon@ As I said in one of my comments yesterday, I would say she may got 1-2 more appearances, but based on the circumstances nothing is predictable in these days.. so let’s wait and see. Thank you for your understanding. ;)

Read the blog. You say that like reading comprehension is strong point of trolls. ;)

Dear JD, the 'read the blog’ ask wasn’t me…We know what happens when someone is 'angry’.. ;)

Dear JD, thank you for the interesting information. I feel certain it was noted.. ;) ❤

Thank you dear Skippy. ❤ Well probably she is afraid of something so she wanted to 'clarify’ she is still in the 'picture’… ;)

Dear anon@ just wanted to clarify, I didn’t say she is not going to have more appearances… Not sure Skippy you got my first ask ;)

<February 3rd> Dear Skippy, I understand your concern. Security is an important matter at these unsecure times, by announcing their upcoming appearance 'inofficially’ through an outsider she just has proven again, that she is 'not in’… the announcement of official appearances/events of RF members (in this case Harry) belongs to the area of authority of one of the associated palaces. I think Harry’s team understands the 'provocation’…;)

Dear anon@ Harry broke up with her in Dec. 2016, hence all the following join appearances can be considered as 'coerced interaction’ between them.. Dear Skippy, I’m not part of the RPR.. would stick to 'she got more appearances’, but as we know nothing is predictable in these days.. thank you for your understanding. ;)

<February 4th> G'morning JD, I would say sometimes small details make a big difference… At this stage she 'allegedly’ is, she would have obeyed the protocol and would have waited until KP annonces their upcoming appearance officially regarding to Harry’s current (and her 'future’) status.. Harry is a British Royal hence security issues have high priority… however the latest pictures of them speak volumes.. Rumours belong to this happening as long as she is in the 'picture’…;)

Dear JD, I don’t think the York family cares about Markle, she cannot take the focus away from E+J wedding, her fervor burning all bridges in the UK and in certain circles worldwide is astonishing and doesn’t match with her future plans… Aristocracy has its own rules Markle will never understand.. Her ongoing actions just don’t fit in her 'future royal’ narrative, otherwise she would have understood meanwhile that the British protocol is insurmountable - without exception…;)

Dear JD, I personally don’t believe she has a future anywhere except may as 'trophy wife’ which can be 'prancing’ around. She had exaggerated this game… In certain circles - incl. business- relevant people are connected with each other and her name has been noticed in an unfavourable way. She and her supporter lost their credibility.. Time will tell.. Human’s memory shouldn’t be underestimated.. ;)

<February 5th> Dear vintage, thank you for your kind words, but the Thank goes also to you all for being here and helping in this difficult case.❤ “Beginn each day with optimism and end each day with forgiveness. Happiness in life begins and ends within your heart”..;) ❤

Dear anon@ He was never 'proud of her’, rather the other way around…. She was a secret until she called the paps in autumn 2016.. although there’s an 'engagement’ in place, they’re only seen together on rare public appearances.. Making mistakes belongs to our life. Sometimes we realise and correct our mistakes immediately, big challenges usually need more time to overcome the difficulties… Every new beginning comes from other beginning’s end.. You know the truth by the way it feels.. ;)

Dear JD, Markle should have of opted out long time ago seeing the negativity it’s caused her reputation.. In the age of social media she should have known better. By using Harry she wanted to get a platform from which she can make a fortune, but even her current 'status’ doesn’t help her boosting her 'career’. She lost her credibility completely. Being the wife of a senior BR member requires the willingness of sacrifice. She would never be able to bear the responsibility the 'job’ brings.. ;)

<February 6th> Dear Skippy, as it was said she got more appearances…. I didn’t say it was postponed or deleted bcs of her behaviour by announcing it herself with help of a stranger. There’s an agreement in place with contractual arrangements for a certain amount of time. Nothing had changed. I said if her 'current status’ would be 'real’, she would have followed the Royal protocol.. but she didn’t.. ;)

Dear anon@ not the council decides about whether the wedding takes place or not…. The last word has Harry…;)

Dear 'a lot of questions’ anon@ could you please search on JD’s archive 'wink’?… You will find all the answers you are looking for. Thank you. ;)

Dear vintage, thank you for your kind words, but the Thank goes also to you all for being here and helping in this difficult case.❤ “Beginn each day with optimism and end each day with forgiveness. Happiness in life begins and ends within your heart”..;) ❤

Dear JD, sending you positive thoughts. Take care and wishing you speed recovery. Virtual hug ;) ❤

Dear Skippy, I feel certain Harry appreciates all the support and trust he is given by people across the world. Some things cannot be changed over night, there are rules that must to be followed.. obviously Markle doesn’t like this appearances, bcs she doesn’t want to care about 'common’ people’s concerns, talking about 'problems’, she cannot fulfill people’s expectations and she knows that. She is in hiding again, than she has to follow rules and protocols during the appearance…;)

Dear Skippy, don’t worry… I do know a person who wishes the end of this farce more than anyone else… This case is difficult, hence there’s time for everything… you know.. we were asked for confidence and patience.. ;)❤

Dear JD, well I personally don’t see any reason being nervous… We knew she got some more appearances and will appear. KP ignored her 'leak’ and just followed the 'royal way’ regarding to Harry’s status …She longed for a luxuriously lifestyle by his side, now she gets a 'reality check’s what that means being a 'part’ of the RF..work, protocols, rules, never explain never complain’ and always smiling… dear anon@ don’t worry.. WE are a strong team together.. we have faith.. ;)❤

Dear 'council’ anon@ I already answered this question. ;)

Thank you dear JD. Seemingly Markle starts to understand the tough reality. Harry is senior Royal, according to his order of rank he will take over more charities/appearances in the upcoming period. That means sometimes he will be on duty on daily basis. His partner has to understand the case they attend, follow protocol and showing interest not just by pulling 'sadly’ faces. A lot of work is done in the background and it’s not a 'hide and seek’ game. The affected people deserve respect.. ;)

G'morning JD. Just would like to ask you, was the “please don’t jump ship” addressed to me? I personally don’t see any reason for giving up what I’m doing.. I believe in Harry, no IG, no 'engagement’, no unexpected appearances could change that… Harry is underestimated. He is loyal and despite all the circumstances he has great inner strength. I’m here to help and will stay until this case is over.. don’t worry..have a blessed day ;)❤

Dear JD, KP just announced Harry’s upcoming solo appearances. Keep going Harry ;)❤

Dear Skippy, I just answered to anon’s comment. He hasn’t chosen her from free will… She coerced herself on him. I would say, that’s not the same… Plus she isn’t a team-player. She doesn’t care about others, it’s all about herself. The BRF serves the nation, visits charities, handles with affected people’s problems & issues & concerns’ on daily b. Rules, protocols are a main part of them, I think meanwhile Markle had understood. She never could bear the responsibility the 'job’ requires. ;)

Second try/ Dear vintage@ .. you know.. everyone is entitled to her opinion.. also CT. Have a blessed day ;)❤

I’m sorry dear JD, I thought Tumblr lost it again. Wishing you speed recovery. Keep strong. Sending you positive energy and virtual hug. ❤ ;)

-On Skippy Dear ckob@ why should Harry be sidelined so suddenly? Which obscurity do you mean? He officially will take over some of HM’s or PP’s charities in the near future. I don’t see any changes, where do you see it? I think his family has shown clearly, HE is supported… ;)

Dear ckob@ I’ve understood your ask. I just pointed out that Harry is senior Royal who just has taken over more patronages and became representative of some of HM’s and PP charities despite this 'engagement’… He is still trusted. In case of doubts concerning Harry’s future role he would have been blindsided and the charities patronage would have been given to other members. Royal patronages are taken seriously, hence there’s a reason why Harry is planned as future representative. ;)

-On Skippy Dear anons@ Harry didn’t get patronages bcs no one else wanted to take them over. He got more representative 'jobs’ bcs he is trusted and will have (.) a relevante role in the monarchy’s future. Difference.. He hasn’t chosen the 'wrong playmate’ , bcs she isn’t any of short. She only attended 3 'events’, all of them were linked to Harry’s patronages only. I don’t see any relevante preparations except rumours 'could be, would be’.. Harry is loyal to the Crown and to his late mother’s memories ;)

Dear anon@ Harry was given a huge honor by 'handling’ him the patronage of the RM over. I think he knows that well. Royals don’t pass on their own charities & partronages to each other without seriously reasons.. Each issue is taken in the RPs seriously. Just recall the Obama summit with Chantal in case of Harry. Harry got more representative 'jobs’, bcs HE is trusted. ;)

Dear anon@ I said the engagement was coerced and he was forced to agree to protect what he has to protect… ;)

Dear anon@ he broke up with her in Dec. 2016 after she was caught by taking pictures of a prohibited area at KP in his home. They saw each other btw January-IG (10 months) 2 times. If you’re interested in the 'background-story’, you can find everything about incl. romantic scam on JD’s blog. Thank you dear Skippy for all your efforts. ;)❤

Dear anon@ markle is an actress, hence she depends on lucrative income for living that she earns mainly by merchandising. For getting contracts with fashion labels/being covered on product pl. in magazines it is credibility required. GC is well known by the showbiz industry. Hollywood is watching carefully what happens. Once her credibility is gone, her future is destroyed. With each “debunked” H+M rumor she approaches her end. She has exaggerated, thus she will lose everything at the end ;)

#wink anon

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dnowit41 · 4 years ago

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LIVE FROM THE WORLD: LUKA DONCIC’S GLOBAL RISE

BY FRANKLYN CALLE

“His feet [are] slower than rush hour traffic. Really slow feet…When I look at him on tape, he struggles with quick defenders. Guys getting in his pocket, getting after him… So, his NBA comparison is Hedo Turkoglu.”

“That’s my takeaway—He doesn’t pop athletically.”

“I mean, he’s better than Ricky Rubio but he doesn’t look special to me.”

“Doncic, at 6-7, will get exposed for all of the inadequacies that Dirk had. Dirk is not a great athlete. Dirk doesn’t have explosiveness. Dirk isn’t physical. That’s what is going to happen to Doncic…I’m not saying Luka is setting the NBA world on fire—I’m not sure he’s going to be a dominating NBA player.”

“The athleticism, that’s a problem. The lack of athleticism.”

“I believe Luka should go to a good team. I don’t believe he’s a lottery pick. No, I don’t. I think he falls right outside the lottery.”

“I don’t give a damn about how this kid in Europe looked.”

“We tend to over-sensationalize European basketball. There [are] restrictions that cater to him. You can’t have nine Americans on the floor in Europe. There’s going to be nine bred Americans on the floor with you 95 percent of the time in the NBA. That changes the dynamics of the game.”

—

These weren’t from randoms on Twitter purposely throwing out hot takes for some retweets and follows. These were hoops analysts on ESPN and FS1 talk shows (which, on second thought, sometimes spiel absurd hot takes for the same reasons as the Twitter randoms) giving their thoughts on Luka Doncic’s potential in the lead up to the 2018 NBA Draft. We’re not here to judge or air any of them out, so purposely not attaching any names to these. But you’ve probably seen some of these clips on your own social feeds or on YouTube already. Even Damian Lillard quote-tweeted an 80-second video compilation with some of these very same soundbites the morning after the Mavs star dropped a monster triple-double during last summer’s (still super strange saying that) playoffs. Dame’s caption was simply an “Lol”—which perfectly sums it all up in hindsight.

Doncic had proven himself overseas—going pro at age 13 (he left Slovenia by himself and relocated to Spain to play for Real Madrid—his mom didn’t join him there until three years later), winning MVP of the Liga ACB, EuroLeague and EuroLeague Final Four at 19 years old. The accolades actually made him the youngest MVP in the EuroLeague’s history.

But a lot of fans (and media, seemingly) in the States had increasingly grown skeptical of highly-touted international prospects after many had not lived up to expectations upon their arrival to the Association. For the sake of consistency, they shall remain nameless here too. There’s that dude from Eastern Europe that got drafted really high in the 2003 NBA Draft by that team that had just played in the Eastern Conference Finals a month earlier. Or that other guy in the previous draft class that went really high too but was never able to make it work in the Mile-High City. Or even three years prior to that when the Knicks drafted a player in the teens that ultimately never saw a single minute of action in the League. There are plenty of posts online attempting to rank which international players were the most disappointing.

Hey, it’s the NBA. It’s not supposed to be easy or for everybody. There’s a reason why the average NBA career length is barely four years. It doesn’t make any of the guys that weren’t able to take off in the Association are any less as hoopers. Luck, timing, fit, politics—whatever the case is, it doesn’t work out more often than it does. Nevermind the complexities in scouting and the challenges of evaluating players competing in leagues of various talent levels.

Nonetheless, it happened. And will continue to. Can’t-miss prospects will miss when they finally get there. And many of those that were overlooked, underrecruited and slighted on social media (and on TV) will turn heads.

It didn’t take long for the very same TV analysts to change their tune about Luka. Like, literally just a few games into his career. And now only two seasons in, the 6-7 Slovenian guard has accumulated a ridiculous amount of shattered records. Forget the two regular seasons worth of games (which include records like surpassing Michael Jordan for the most consecutive 20-5-5 performances since the ABA/NBA merger), just the very first playoff series of his career alone is enough to justify everything you hear about him. The six-game series against the L.A. Clippers dissipated any lingering doubts.

Game 1: 42 points—most points in a playoff debut by any player in NBA history, first 21-year-old to drop 40+ in a playoff game since LeBron James, fourth player to do it in general (after Magic Johnson, Tracy McGrady and James).

Game 2: 28 points, 8 rebounds, 7 assists—most points (70) by a player through his first two career playoff games in NBA history.

Game 3: first player in Mavericks history to record a triple-double in the playoffs, third youngest player in NBA history to record a triple-double in the playoffs after Magic and LeBron.

Game 4: a gazillion records. So much that Mavs PR Twitter had to create a Twitter thread just to be able to list them all. And even then, there were others they missed. Media members soon chimed in with the additional data.

His 43-point, 17-rebound and 13-assist stat line, which included a buzzer-beater to tie the series at 2-2, made him: the youngest ever to record a 40-point triple-double in the playoffs, the youngest to ever hit a playoff buzzer-beater, the only player aside from Wilt Chamberlain to finish with 43+ points, 17+ rebounds and 13+ assists in a game, the only player aside from Jordan to put up a 40-piece to go with a buzzer-beater while trailing, the third ever 40-15-10 performance in the playoffs after Oscar Robertson and Charles Barkley, second ever 21-year-old to record a 30-point triple-double in the playoffs, the third player ever after Magic and LeBron to have multiple playoff triple-doubles by the age or 21. The list went on and on, but you get the point.

Although the Mavs went on to lose in six games, they still managed to come away as the real winners in the grand scheme of things—in front of the whole world, they confirmed they had THE one.

In the aftermath of Game 4 and in the weeks that followed, players across the League reacted to Luka’s insane performances. Props were given by the biggest names around.

Even before Luka played a single game in the NBA, back-to-back reigning MVP Giannis Antetokounmpo saw all of this coming from a mile away. In the summer of 2018, the Greek Freak, speaking with Marca, a local newspaper in Madrid, showed that he was better equipped than anyone else to evaluate Luka’s NBA potential as an international player himself.

“He is the most exciting player that has appeared in basketball in recent years. This past year in Europe he has won every competition he has played. EuroBasket, EuroLeague, Liga Endesa. He has been MVP of the EuroLeague, of the Final Four,” said Antetokounmpo. “He has shown that he is more than ready to play, that he has matured faster than the rest. He has played against professionals, as Charles Barkley said. The other rookies played against schoolboys.

“People in the United States sometimes forget that in the EuroLeague they play very well and very hard, more than in the NCAA. You have to be very good to stand out in the EuroLeague, and Luka is. Doncic has a lot of talent. He will have a great first year and, if it is not in the second, he will explode in the third.”

Looks like that explosion may have happened in the second year after all. Unless, of course, that wasn’t the explosion Giannis was talking about. There’s a chance we’re about to witness a whole other level that Luka could tap into. It’s worth noting, as of mid-December, he is the betting favorite to win MVP, according to Caesars Sportsbook with a +400. Defending MVP Giannis is right behind him at +450.

Giannis isn’t the only MVP who’s had high praise for the former Real Madrid star. The King himself, while appearing on Uninterrupted’s Road Trippin’ in early December, made it known that at one point he had intentions of starting a subset of his brand with Luka as the centerpiece.

“I wanted to begin Team LeBron and have Luka as my first signing with Nike,” said LeBron. “I don’t even know if Luka knows this, but he will know it now. I wanted Luka to be the first signing of Team LeBron when he was going through his situation…That’s how much I believed in him.”

In July, Paul Pierce went as far as to suggest that there’s already been a passing of the crown.

“You talk about a kid who made one of the biggest leaps in recent memory from a Rookie of the Year to MVP-caliber player,” said the Celtics legend. “He has won at every European championship that you can think of, every European MVP that you can think of. So, I expect special things from this kid. Clearly, he’s special. He’s a talent. To me, he is the most talented player in the NBA today. The lights are never too bright for him.”

The amount of individual records he’s been able to set and break are so many that his Wikipedia page has an “achievements” section specifically dedicated to that, where people have been able to create a list with 43 different bullet points detailing where his performances have landed him in the history books. Forty-three. Two years in.

“I just feel confident. I know I have the confidence of my teammates and my team, so I just feel confident [in] myself and I love taking those shots. I get motivated. I have to make the last shot,” Luka told Rachel Nichols in a sit-down interview in 2019. When he sat down with her again in 2020, he added: “Pressure was in my life when I was 13, when I had to move from Slovenia alone to Madrid. I live with pressure every day, so I just don’t feel it anymore.”

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redorblue · 7 years ago

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The Terranauts, by T. C. Boyle

There’s this one thing that I always found incredibly annoying about English books, and that German books thankfully don’t have (yet). I hate the bunch of review snippets all over the cover so. much. It screws up the cover design, it can get pretty crowded if the publishing house was really proud of this book, and it tells you absolutely nothing. Same thing on the backside: I’ve seen books that have three lines of quote from inside the book, and six quotes from reviews gushing about it. How is that supposed to help me, or make me buy it? Last time I looked, most people still buy books because they think the story or the setup is intriguing, or because they like the author, not because Person X, Author of YZA, said it’s a “triumph of the imagination”. German books don’t do that. German books have the author and the name of the book on the cover, nicely integrated into the cover art, and a synopsis and maybe a short quote on the back. Orderly. Informative. Very German, probably.

But I digress. The reason I got into this was my most recent read, The Terranauts, and not only did I find it terrible, I also have no idea which book those reviewers from the Guardian, the Times etc. read - I find it hard to believe it was the same I did. So let’s try something else and use those incredibly unhelpful literary critics to structure what I did not like about this book.

1. “Excruciatingly funny” - Times Literary Supplement

This one is the easiest: I have no idea what they are talking about. If this book was so funny, it wouldn’t have been too much to expect to laugh at least once, right? Well, I didn’t. I also didn’t chuckle, snort, giggle, smile or even lift one corner of my mouth in amusement. Because in my not so humble opinion, this book is not funny. Unless I’m supposed to laugh about this one guy lusting after whichever woman has the longest legs in the room, about this woman who falls for him nonetheless and keeps lying to herself about his shittiness, or her so-called “best friend” who takes a trip to Mexico and promptly gets diarrhea. Yeah, very funny. Not everybody has the same sense of humour and all that, but I think someone who can laugh about such things has a rather questionable one.

2. “Lord of the Flies meets Hunger Games” - The Times

With this one I at least get why they came to that conclusion. The story is the fictional continuation of a real-life experiment conducted some time in the 90s where eight people - four men, four women - were locked into a glass dome with a self-sustaining ecosystem inside, and basically told to see how many were still walking after two years. The first, real group broke closure (= was interrupted) after a few months because of a medical emergency, which is why the fictional second group is all the more fanatic determined to not open the airlock for the full two years, whatever happens. While they’re in there farming and supposedly conducting scientific experiments (although you never learn what it is exactly they’re testing, so if you want hard science, stay away), they get media coverage from all over the US (about what, one might ask... Must have been one hell of a silly season to send reports about people milking goats... Checking humidity... catching fish... Unheard of, right?).

So yeah, I can see where that one came from: a bunch of people locked in together at close quarters, becoming increasingly hateful towards each other = Lord of the Flies. Doing it all for the media coverage, completely with donations and the participants as celebrities and merchandise = The Hunger Games. Never mind that neither the characters from Lord of the Flies nor the candidates in the Hunger Games were there willingly, whereas in this book going under the glass with seven people you already can’t stand before you even go in, slowly starving yourself, slowly asphyxiating in the winter months, without pay or plan what to do afterwards, is somehow presented as being incredibly desirable (Really, the only lucid part this book has is when the characters call this enterprise a cult, or deny it being a cult - hey, at least they said the word, and self-denial is a serious Thing among all the characters). But okay, if you say so. The thing is, in my opinions it falls short in both comparisons.

I have to admit, I’ve never read Lord of the Flies, only watched the movie, and you shouldn’t judge a book by its adaptation. But I remember that (besides the survival part) it’s about group dynamics, how groups organize under pressure, how new leaders establish new orders, and the violence that ensues. Now I’m definitely not one of those people who need a body count to enjoy a book, but this one, I have to admit, was too... tame? for me to be credible. The highest tensions ever rose was a fistfight between two characters after almost two years of being locked in, when they were half starved already and there was barely any oxygen left in the air. Sure, the rest of the time they were constantly badmouthing each other, and venomous when they had to talk about something - but really, that’s your climax, your crisis? I already mentioned that most of the crew members didn’t like each other to begin with, and of course that didn’t get better over the course of the book, but it feels a bit lame to have your characters constantly emphasize how much they hate each other (and one even threatening to kill anyone who jeopardizes the mission! Talk about a Chekov’s gun that just... never went off I guess?), and then presenting a few punches as The Worst It Can Get. Let alone not resolving anything after they finally get out. Most of the crew just disappear into thin air, which is fitting because they weren’t much more than thin air with a name tag during the entire book, and the POVs just... get on with their lives I guess. The ending really feels a bit like the author just ran out of pages, and not in the good, open-ending kind of way. There is no resolution, no discernible character arc, no epiphany, nothing. It just ends. So take this as a vivid example of how structuring does NOT work.

As for the comparison with The Hunger Games... First of all, there’s the same problem of being too tame. The Hunger Games works partly (!!) because it’s suspenseful, what with fighting and hunting and figuring stuff out and action scenes in general. The Terranauts doesn’t have anything of the sort: no secret plots to unveil, no rivals to kill (and the moral dilemma that comes with it), very little, very drawn out struggle for survival... Again, I don’t need any of this to like a book, I can do without action, but it’s the Times that made the comparison, and I’m sorry but I think The Terranauts falls short. By a mile or so. Another thing that made The Hunger Games so interesting is the role the media plays: How the games are basically just entertainment for the rich, how public images are constructed and why, how public opinion and public sentiment is influenced etc. The Hunger Games were honest about how it’s all “just” for show. The Terranauts, however, tried to keep up its pretense of being oh so scientific, while the only thing that ever gets any screentime is not experiments or hard facts, but photo ops and interviews and presentations. Which would be fine if the book ever properly dealt with the fact that it was all just a huge media stunt. But it doesn’t, it never talks about the implications of the experiment being a big, expensive reality show, it never grants its characters a moment of epiphany or a personal crisis with regards to their sacrifices not being for science and the survival of the human race, but for money and money alone. The closest the characters ever get to realizing this and instrumentalizing it is when some of them threaten the CEO to talk to the press, but none of them ever go through with it (and there’s no reason why they wouldn’t besides this ominous cult mentality thing, because some of them have been treated really badly). Not even the crew member whose responsibility is PR management ever really tries to create a public image of himself that he can use to get what he wants and influence public opinion to the disadvantage of disliked crew mates or some such. It all feels very half-baked, and that from an author who’s famous for writing real adult novels. Talk about how naive and shallow YA novels are.

3. “Heartbreakingly human” - The Guardian

God... I hope not. I think not. If this set of characters is supposed to provide us with a sample of human experiences and emotions, then it’s really time to pack my bags and go be a hermit somewhere. Also, everyone is white, with the exception of one Asian person, who coincidentally is also the only woman who is consistently described as being fat and plain and kinky-haired (fat and kinky-haired being used as decidedly denigrating terms here - god this book has so many issues). And a terrible person, but that’s true for everyone. There are two minor characters who seem to be alright, the crew physician and the crew leader, but every non-POV character is basically just walking cardboard with maybe one or two traits each (for some reason I absolutely can’t fathom, bitchy, scheming and promiscuous come to mind for every single female character). Besides that there are three POVs: one man inside, one woman inside, and one woman outside (the Asian one). They all have some common character traits: they’re hateful, spiteful, lying, scheming, unreflected, self-serving, egocentric assholes. But besides those lovely common traits, they have some others that make them loathsome in their very own way, and I can’t shake the feeling that the author took a lot of inspiration from some nasty gender stereotypes. (warning: from here on it gets spoilery)

Let’s start with the guy, Ramsay. He’s sex-obsessed in a way that he can’t form any coherent thought as soon as a pair of shapely legs and boobs with a woman attached enters the room. He’s incapable of fidelity, love, loyalty and commitment, although he constantly claims otherwise. Let me give you a few examples of his awfulness: After he breaks up with one of his crewmates (after maybe forcing himself on her? It’s not made clear. How can that not be clear.), he constantly complains how ugly and old and generally repulsive she is. That’s the only thing he has to say about her. He then starts an affair with another crewmate, and when she becomes pregnant, he blames it all on her for deceiving him and being irrational because she didn’t want to screw up her body with artificial hormones every day which apparently is to be expected from every woman. He then pressures her to have an abortion. She refuses, and he constantly thinks about how gross she is the further the pregnancy progresses. After the baby is born, he doesn’t help her whatsoever, and first chance he gets, he takes off on her although he has promised her otherwise. To top it all off, he restarts his affair with a woman from the outside crew about whom we only learn that she’s a snake with nice legs, while he’s still married to the mother of his child. I don’t think I need to add anything to that. The amount of misogyny, sexism, and patriarchal stereotypes about men as mindless sex machines (plus the corresponding view on women) all compressed into one character is baffling.

For the women there’s a bit more variation, but it doesn’t get any less nasty. Woman No. 1, Dawn, is the long-legged, full-breasted redhead beauty who gets one of the few spots inside the experiment and takes over responsibility for growing food in the fields and tending to the farmyard animals. She then gets together with Ramsay, gets pregnant and decides to carry the child against all common sense, considering that the experiment can barely produce enough calories for eight people, let alone nine, and is definitely not able to provide for the special needs of a pregnant woman or a newborn child. After Dawn’s two years are officially over, she refuses to leave the glass dome and decides to stay inside because she feels so close to nature inside, or something like that. Notice the symbolism at work here? The stereotype presented here is that of Mother Earth, fertile, providing, one with nature itself. It’s quite fitting that Dawn’s nickname, chosen by her fellow participants, is Eos (which literally means dawn). Both her names fit very well into this whole mantra that the organizers of the experiment have: to start anew, create a better world, one that sustains itself and doesn’t exploit resources but is fertile enough to to live independently (which, I’m sorry, is just not true. They rely on the local power plant to keep their ideal environment stable, they receive knowledge from the outside world, and after the two years the dome is in need of a thorough restocking because the crew killed all the farm animals and ate all the seed stocks because they were hungry.) Dawn is the archetypal woman, the one who nourishes others and gives life, is loving, beautiful and monogamous, but she also displays some negative traits that have been historically associated with women: She’s naive to the point that she doesn’t notice any negative feelings Ramsay has towards her; she’s self absorbed, like when she decides to go through with the pregnancy at the risk of the others starving; and she’s emotional in a way that’s constantly pointed out to be annoying and exaggerated (they call it weepy).

The other female POV, Linda, is presented as her foil. She’s also the only PoC character, which makes her negative portrayal doubly problematic, especially since she seems to stand in for two ethnicities: Asian (because of her Korean ancestry) and black (because of her kinky hair). We keep being told that Linda and Dawn are best friends, but there’s really no evidence in the text to support that since they’re constantly bitter, false and patronizing towards the other, in their thoughts and in their actions. Also, they mainly seem to talk about the men in their lives with each other, with Dawn as the one who has a way with men and Linda as the jealous, Fat Ugly Friend^TM. So yeah, great portrayal of a friendship between two women, since obviously men is the only thing we ever talk and care about. But besides being presented as an overall terrible person - false, needy, deceiving, the archetypal snake to Dawn’s Eve* - Linda herself also constantly emphasizes that she’s overweight and not conventionally attractive, which in her interior monologue tied together with her lack of success with men - and her race. The only valid point this book makes is that it damages your career and possibly your romantic chances, especially as the only PoC in an all-white environment. But since this point is filtered through the perspective of a character whose interior monologue is filled with constant nagging and delusions, it’s incredibly easy not to take it seriously and dismiss it as another figment of Linda’s imagination. This may not be racist in and of itself, although it definitely comes across as mocking racial awareness, but it sure starts to look like the real thing once you take all the negative comments into account that Linda makes about all her physical features that make her distinctly non-white. It also ties neatly into yet another issue this book has: body-shaming. Surprisingly (or not), this also mainly concerns the female characters and is filtered almost exclusively through the way men react to them. I got so, so tired reading about how Linda, the fat and ugly one, tries to get men to sleep with her (unsuccessfully, unless they are old and gross), while the thin, pretty women like Dawn have an entire parade of admirers (and successful careers). Also notice how personality doesn’t play any role at all in both women’s romantic success? That’s because women’s personalities don’t matter, simple as that. And it’s probably better that way, since they’re all naive and clingy or dishonest and needy anyway - in addition to being mean, which is something all characters in this book share.

The thing is, with books like this one that are just horrible with regards to sexism, racism, body-shaming and a whole host of other things, I always wonder how that happened. I don’t want to condemn the authors for all those things without having read some of their other books (which I generally don’t, because I value my time) or doing a thorough check on them (which I generally don’t do either, because I’m lazy. But I can’t help but ask myself whether these are the author’s actual views. Other options would include a critique of these issues gone wrong, or a misguided attempt to induce some historical accuracy, or ignorance. The problem is that I’m pretty sure I can exclude said other options. Historical accuracy in this case is not necessary since the book is set in the 1990s, not in the middle ages. Ignorance is a pretty weak excuse by itself, and one issue may slip under your (and your editor’s) radar, but so many...? The author of this book is a white guy, so he’s probably wearing privilege lenses, but still. Lastly, a critique would necessitate at least some attempt to contradict the views you have your characters expressing, either through the narrative or - even better - through a character themselves. I know that, and I’m a twenty-something amateur reader who sometimes tries her hand at literary critique. An author (and editor) who has been in the business for so long should definitely know that, and also how to work said critique into the story so that a casual reader would catch it. Which leaves us with option No. 1. And the reason why I regret having spent money on one of TC Boyle’s books, and why his name is another entry on my list of authors never to be read again.

*An afterthought that I’m too lazy to work in somewhere else: There is so much religious imagery in this book. It starts with the nicknames many characters in this book get, like God the Creator, Jesus, Judas, Eos etc., and culminates with this whole Garden of Eden theme that surrounds the experiment. Like with the cult thing, the book isn’t even shy to call itself out on it, but if this is not a prime example of lampshading, then I don’t know what is.

#2018 #the terranauts #tc boyle #book review

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purplesurveys · 5 years ago

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794

How often do you eat your favorite food? Very seldom do I get to have burgers because the good ones are usually quite expensive and I don’t want to waste my parents’ allowance on selfish stuff like that; I’d say I have them once every couple of months. I get Yabu at least once a month though, that’s something I kinda make sure I’ve saved enough for.

Have you ever fallen asleep on public transport? (including planes): When we have family car trips that run through the night, I do sleep but only for a short while because I feel bad when we all fall asleep and my dad has no choice but to continue driving. I’ve only fallen asleep on a plane once and that was because we spent like seven or eight hours waiting at the airport with nothing to do, and for some reason that made me so tired.

What room of the house are you in right now? My room. My day hasn’t gone well and I haven’t had the energy to go downstairs.

What was the last tv show you watched? Descendants of the Sun.

Have you been using Apple Music? No thanks.

Do you pay rent for the place you live? How often? My parents don’t.

How do you feel at this particular moment? Anything on your mind? Exhausted, a little heavy, and resigned. Yes, but I’m taking this survey now precisely because I don’t want that stuff to occupy my mind too much.

Where was the last place you went on vacation/holiday to? Who’d you go with? Albay with my parents. We were there for three or four days, which I consider to be more of a vacation than the weekend trip we had in Tagaytay.

List all the colors you’re currently wearing. Brown, black, and scarlet.

What’s your favorite type of doughnut? I like smaller, local brands that make their doughnuts fresh, and may have gourmet selections as well. The only place I know that does this is Cello’s, near my school.

What do you usually eat for breakfast? I normally skip it but with my whole family home for quarantine, we’ve been having breakfast every single day since March. That said, we typically have steamed or fried rice, eggs, hotdogs, bacon, longganisa, and some kind of dried dish like danggit or tuyo.

Do you have any candles in your bedroom? Do you light them often? Nope, never invested on candles before.

Can you touch your toes without bending your knees? Yep. I used to be able to, then I wasn’t able to for a very long time, then after having my really rigorous PE class two semesters ago I was able to do it again.

When was the last time you went out for dinner? First Monday of March.

Have you seen all the Hunger Games films as of current? I’ve seen the first one because they aired it on TV a thousand times at one point in like, 2013. Never got to see the rest.

What was the last thing you said to someone else in person? “You here?” I was talking to Kimi in the dark.

Do you use Windows, Mac, Linux, or something else entirely? Mac.

How many times do you call someone on the phone a week? 2-3 times a week maybe? Gab and I don’t need to call each other everyday, and a fewer calls mean I’m more excited when one does happen haha.

Have you cooked anything today? What was it? Nope.

Do you have a lot of cousins? What are their names? First cousins would be Gage, Elijah, Cholo, Toffe, Bia, Lei, Kesler, AJ, Kent, Seth, and Sam. The second cousins that I know of are Ben, Nico, Selah, Luke, Maggie, Bree, Isabella, and Jethro – I have tons of family living in the US and those include second cousins I’ve never met, and I also have many other second cousins on my dad’s side that I was able to name none of here because we aren’t at all close with that side, and I’ve never had a relationship with those cousins. I only know a handful of third cousins, namely Nicole, Elliott, and Kristen. What does your shampoo smell like? Idk, it doesn’t have a distinct scent and is just one of the basic Dove shampoos.

What about the body wash or soap you’re using at the moment? The scent is called bourbon vanilla.

Have you ever had an exotic or unusual pet? Are horses unusual? My sister had a chick for a few days. They definitely are here, but I don’t know about other places.

Any movies you’ve seen recently that you’d recommend to me? Not a movie sorry, but I just watched Vice TV’s Dark Side of the Ring documentary on Owen Hart and it’s sooooooo fucking brilliant. Its production value is just astounding, and they did not fuck around with the sources they chose to speak in the piece. I recommend anybody – even if you’ve never watched or been interested in wrestling before – to go see it, because the storytelling is so great the outsider-est outsider would be able to understand and appreciate its narration, and see exactly how fucked-up the industry is.

Why did you last go see a doctor? Oh my god, this has been on every survey recently...eye appointment. At that time my left eye twitched and teared up whenever I wake up and when I’d head to bed, and in random times during the day. It’s gotten better during the quarantine, but I’ll still sometimes get the occasional attack.

Do you know how to play Minesweeper? Yes. I don’t have the patience for it though. < Ugh same. I’ve never won a game, and I just never had the appetite to keep trying lol

What was the last thing you bought online? The last time I answered this saying a Hydro Flask and a couple of necklaces, but now that I remember more clearly, Andrew and I did get Chinese food from online a few days before classes got suspended.

Where do you usually park your car? There’s some extra bare space beside our actual carport that’s super super tiny, but we found out my car could fit in so that’s where I park it so it could be in the shade. To this day I’m the only one who can effortlesly fit it in after doing it everyday for four years in college, as my parents are too scared hahaha.

Does your mail get delivered to your house or do you have to collect it? House. As far as I know, that’s how it works for the whole country.

Are you more logical or creative? Logical. My creativity is for sure in the negatives.

Do you cut tags out of clothing so they don’t itch and bother you? Only if it incredibly bothers me and if it’s not that big a brand. If it’s a big name, I’d rather suffer the itch.

What is your dream job? Do you think that’s attainable for you? The dream job is still to do PR for WWE, but I’ve been questioning that decision more and more lately because they’re turning out to be such a shit company and I don’t want to end up selling out and launching fake-ass cheery articles and campaigns to paint the company in a nicer light, despite the many shitstorms it is currently and has always been embroiled in. I do think it’s attainable, since it’s generally easier to get into WWE corporate than be in the branch that does events and gets to be on TV, but I’ll have to do a lot of thinking on this particular path.

When was the last time you looked at Facebook, Twitter or etc.? 30 minutes ago, maybe.

Have you ever been on a train? Where did you go? Just one. Jum and I went to the Senate for a journalism class. I would’ve driven but I hate driving in Manila.

#survey #surveys

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d2kvirus · 7 years ago

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The biggest gaming stories of 2017

Half-Life 3 not confirmed

I know the “Half-Life 3 CONFIRMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!” meme is deader than a very dead thing, yet bizarrely there was more news involving the game in 2017 than at any point this decade.

Things started in mid-January when Gabe Newell took part in a Reddit AMA which (predictably) veered onto the subject of HL3, with GabeN batting away the more obvious questions with a knowing, if overly sarcastic, tone. While there were no answers one way or the other, that didn’t stop numerous blogs and websites trying to spin anything he said into a headline to generate clicks.

Then in July something bizarre happened: the original Half-Life received its first update since 2013 which, obviously, led to all manner of wild speculation that something may be happening - wild speculation that lasted all of an afternoon before it soon became apparent it was merely a few long-standing bugs being patched out by a Valve employee.

More than anything else, though, in late August there appeared to be some sort of closure for Half-Life 2 when Marc Laidlaw, who served as writer for the series prior to his leaving Valve in early 2016, published what appeared to be a synopsis for the much-delayed Half-Life 2 Episode 3 on his website.

Of course this led to even more debate about whether Laidlaw posted this knowing full well that the game had been cancelled and he was giving HL fans a glimpse of what could have been, or whether the game is still in development and the plot has gone in a completely different direction from the vision Laidlaw wrote all those years ago, or whether it was something Laidlaw wrote to whet the appetite of fans clinging to the belief that the game might someday see the light of day - or any number of other, less feasible theories doing the rounds out there.

Winner, winner, chicken dinner

When discussing the biggest gaming stories of 2017 there is one game that stands above all else: PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds.

Initially released on Steam early access in March, PUBG went on to dominate the landscape not just on Steam where it smashed all manner of records regarding sales and concurrent users, while simultaneously becoming a fixture for Youtubers and Twitch streamers alike. Indeed, so great was PUBG’s reach that Steam saw a huge spike in their Chinese userbase due to the game catching on like nothing else.

And what makes the success so remarkable, both in terms of the game and its enduring popularity on Youtube and Twitch, is the remarkable simplicity of it all: the player is one of 100 combatants dropped on an island at the start of every game, in order to survive the players need to scavenge for weapons and gear to give them a chance of survival, and the game continues until there is just one player standing. From a gameplay standpoint it's simple to pick up but takes time to master, and from a Youtube/Twitch standpoint it’s an easy fifteen to twenty minutes of content per game that’s guaranteed to be different every time.

In spite of its roaring success, though, PUBG managed to keep courting controversy throughout the year.

During the game’s first few months there were arbitrary bans being issued to players when streamers accused those who killed them in-game of stream sniping, although there was little to no proof to back up the claims but the bans stood, while popular streamer Dr Disrespect found himself slapped with a ban for killing a teammate which led to the streamer threatening Brandon Greene, aka PlayerUnknown.

A short while later, when the initial GamesCom tournament was right around the corner, PUBG implemented a lootbox system which went down like a cup of cold vomit with the game’s player base, especially considering the system’s RNG was ridiculously unbalanced as, having shelled out £2.50 in real-world currency for every key to open one crate, it was impossible for players to get a full set of skins in a single crate.

Things began to really pirouette off the deep end in September when PUBG’s developer Bluehole began to throw their weight around when Epic Games announced their game Fortnite would have a battle royale mode - in spite of the fact that PUBG itself was hardly an original concept, given the likes of DayZ and H1Z1′s King of the Kill mode (to name but two) both existed long before PUBG was released, making Bluehole’s threats patently absurd.

Finally, when the game launched for XBox One late in the year (which racked up a million sales within 48 hours of launch) the game itself was just as bug-ridden as the early Steam builds were - in spite of being sold as a finished game.

Yet in spite of these controversies PUBG continues to not just dominate the landscape, but with more and more battle royale games being developed in the wake of its success it's also defined the landscape for the next couple of years.

“What’s in the fucking box?”

If there’s one trend that practically smothered the AAA gaming industry in 2017 it had to be the explosion of lootboxes - or, as some people prefer to call it, legalised gambling.

While the trend didn't begin in 2017 by any stretch of the imagination, after all lootboxes were in place for the Mass Effect 3 multiplayer back in 2012, it’s impossible to ignore how prevalent they became in the wake of Overwatch implementing the system to great success in 2016.

The first obvious sign of this new trend from the worst of the AAA publishers came shortly after the announcement of Middle Earth: Shadow of War - and, more importantly, just how it changed the perception of the game. When the game was first announced there was a lot of hype for the game, as Shadow of Mordor had been a critical and commercial success when it was released back in 2014, and the initial trailers looked promising.

Then the first whispers of microtransactions came, and things went downhill fast...

The above image, that of the orc merchant who greets you every single time you pay with real money to access content that was free with Shadow of Mordor soon became not only a meme but also something to beat the game over the head with for deciding to not only charging the premium rate for the game and for DLC after the fact, but the addition of microtransactions on top of it in order for the player to make their way through the game in a fraction of the time compared to someone who had to grind their way to bolstering their army soon turned the game from a darling to a dunce.

Yet somehow they went one further in the bad PR stakes.

When it was announced that players could buy the legendary org Forthog Orc-Slayer, designed in tribute to and bearing the likeness of Monolith’s Executive Producer Michael David Forgey who had died of cancer in 2016 with their money being donated to cancer charities, players were initially supportive - right up until people saw the smallprint stated that, while the purchase would see money donated to charity if made from 43 of the 50 US states, if the DLC was purchased anywhere else the money would be headed to Warner Bros Interactive.

Yet somehow Shadow of War was by no means the worst offender.

Among the worst offenders that followed were NBA 2K18 for making progression through the MyCareer mode almost impossible without players having to shell out once more in order to increase their player’s stats - with a remarkably predatory storefront to encourage such activity - while Forza Motorsport 7 irked players by hiding not only car and driver customisation options that were previously in-game behind a paywall but also mods that would improve your in-game performance. Even stranger was how Guild Wars 2 implemented a lootbox system - five years after the game’s launch.

Yet these paled into insignificance when the amount of jiggery-pokery going on behind Destiny 2 came to light.

The initial controversy came when players who migrated from the first Destiny soon realised that any shaders the players gained from the game’s lootboxes (sorry, “bright engrams”) were a single-use item that couldn’t be transferred between sets of armour, even though in the previous Destiny players could transfer shaders between armours to their heart’s content.

Far more cynical was how Bungie enforced grinding by deliberately hobbling players’ XP gains to prevent players from levelling up too quickly - or, to put it another way, rewarding players for being good enough and/or playing long enough to level up quickly by pulling the rug out from under them to make sure the players always knew their...sigh...bright engrams were the most efficient way to increase your level. The worst part is that Bungie didn’t even acknowledge this was a thing until they were caught - actually, no, the worst thing is that their “fix” was to remove the XP scaler...and then double the amount of XP players needed to level up.

Yet in spite of all the scumminess listed above, one game truly reigned supreme with their cynical use of lootboxes: Stars Wars Battlefront II.

Even when the game was in open beta player progression leaned heavily on acquiring characters and buffs from the game’s lootbox system, most notably how players calculated they needed to play the game for forty hours in order to acquire the likes of Darth Vader or Luke Skywalker. That’s forty hours each, not forty hours in total. While EA did respond to this by slashing the requirements to a mere ten hours (each...), considering the average Battlefront II multiplayer match lasts between fifteen to twenty minutes that’s still a ridiculous amount of grinding required.

Even after dropping microtransactions from the game entirely the day before release, albeit as a temporary measure rather than a permanent one, the controversy was not going away as EA’s stock price dropping by 2.5% on the game’s launch day (losing the company an estimated $3bn) while various government officials began to take notice of the lootbox systems that games were implementing, with Belgium’s gambling commission being the first to call them a form of gambling, while in Australia the Victorian Commission for Gambling and Liquor Regulation followed suit, and what must have really put the fear of God up not just EA but all other companies using the lootbox system is when Chris Lee, a member of Hawaii’s House of Representatives, began drafting legislation prohibiting the sale of any games containing lootboxes to under-21s, with Lee describing the system as “predatory” and Battlefront II as “an online casino designed to trap kids.”

As for the game itself, which was almost an afterthought at this point (both to EA and the consumer) the fact that it was soon discovered a large amount of content available in the original Battlefront was buried in the game’s code yet unavailable to players, while as with the original game it once again felt half-finished on release - all of which led to sights such as the one below.

And I haven’t even touched on EA’s initial defence being to make some utterly bizarre comments about not letting players use a pink Darth Vader...

“Welcome to the family, son”

Ever since its announcement, there was as much a sense of anticipation for Resident Evil VII as there was to see the game take the series back to its horror roots, especially with the game’s first hour being available to play since late 2016 and players wanted to see what else the game had in store for them. Answers didn’t take too long to come.

As we have seen so often in this generation, for example with last year’s DOOM, sometimes all a franchise needs is to retain what made the series so compelling in the first place, but bring those aspects into modern game design. In doing so not only were players rewarded with the best Resident Evil game in years, but Capcom were rewarded with a critical and commercial smash.

While players had been introduced to the Baker family when the game was revealed, and plenty more had been teased with the promotional material, it was only when the game was released when players finally got to meet Jack, Marguerite and Lucas that it became clear that Capcom had spent their time well when creating and crafting the game, as not only was the game practically drowning in atmosphere but the characters of the Baker family really began to stand out in a way that characters in the previous couple of Resident Evil games really hadn’t. Most notably was, even though the perspective had shifted from third person to first person, the game's mechanics were remarkably similar to those of the original Resident Evil games, with an emphasis on exploring in order to unlock areas of the house while the few scattered bullets encouraged players to learn when to fight and when to flee instead of mow down anything in their way with a seemingly infinite number of bullets that the post-RE4 games were.

Yet there was still an ace in Capcom’s sleeve, as they unleashed a VR edition of Resident Evil VII onto the public to give players the true first person horror experience, placing them within the grimy yet strangely beautiful environs of the Baker house - while making sure they got a good view of anything and everything that made a lunge for their face.

“This is your fault. It didn't have to be like this.”

Having seen Steam Greenlight fail spectacularly, to the point that almost 40% of the games available on Steam were released in 2016, Valve decided to step in and end Greenlight and implement Steam Direct, a service which they claimed would root out all the clag that had slipped through the net of Greenlight and make Steam a better place.

Instead the exact opposite occurred.

Rather than putting off shovelware developers by placing a $100 fee to add their game to Steam’s library, those developers just paid their $100 and carried on much as they did with Greenlight - only now they didn’t run the risk of the Steam community flagging the game being added to the Steam storefront - which additionally maintained the issue of and new releases visibility on the storefront that existed with Greenlight, as any new release was barely visible on the storefront before a cascade of asset flips swept them away.

Valve didn't help matters as they continued to put their faith in algorithms to do the job that they didn’t want to, even though the service has been screaming out for some human intervention ever since developers were bribing people with free game keys to get their games through Greenlight.

Additionally, a new form of clag started to proliferate on Steam since the introduction of Steam Direct, namely the achievement spam games that were advertising themselves based on the thousands of achievements each of the games had - which meant that, while playing them, there was a constant flicker of activity in the corner of your screen as a seemingly never-ending amount of achievements popped up.

All in all, Valve’s attempts to make Steam a better place have only served to make Steam as bad as it was before.

“I am Commander Shepard, and this is my least-favourite game on the Citadel”

Oh dear.

Hopes were high for Mass Effect Andromeda for obvious reasons, namely the words “Mass” and “Effect” were side-by-side in the game’s title, and EA were so confident in the game they went as far as to have games journalists train with the European Space Agency to promote the game.

If only some of that effort was put into, oh I don’t know...making the game?

The first mistake was to release the first ten hours of the game on EA Access and Origin a week before the game’s official release date, and it didn’t take long before the low quality of the game’s animations were splashed all over the internet, let alone the numerous glitches, with a large number of these issues being attributed to having to work with EA’s Frostbite engine in spite of the engine not being suited for RPGs such as the Mass Effect series.

One thing which certainly puzzled fans of the Mass Effect series is how Andromeda wasn’t developed by the main Bioware studio, but was instead placed in the hands of Bioware Montreal - whose main claim to fame prior to Andromeda was some of the DLC for the original trilogy.

Far more damning were the revelations that came about Andromeda’s dev cycle, a dev cycle which may have started shortly after the release of Mass Effect 3 but due to going back to the drawing board several times during development, with the studio going back and forth on whether they should have procedurally generated planets in the game or the size of the galaxy the players could explore, a galaxy which got smaller with every back-and-forth with the drawing board, all of which meant the game’s actual development took place over an eighteen month period - even though, from the outset, Bioware knew they were on a schedule and delays were eating more and more time they soon found they didn’t have as much of as they would have liked.

Just as it looked like Andromeda couldn’t take any more of a kicking, when E3 rolled around EA unveiled Anthem, the new game from Bioware’s main team in Edmonton, and even based on the short video shown it looked as if Anthem had the amount to time and effort put into it that wasn’t afforded to Andromeda.

Of course, in spite of Andromeda selling well on release, albeit drawing reviews that paled in comparison to the original trilogy, the fallout wasn’t pretty.

For the game itself it was noticeable that the planned story DLC was scrapped while Bioware Montreal were sacrificed to appease the shareholders by being folded into Motive Studio, while the Mass Effect franchise itself has been shelved while Bioware focus their energies on Anthem.

Make America Nazi-Free Again

Remember how, when Wolfenstein: The New Order was released back in 2014, nobody seemed to have any issue with gibbing Nazis left, right and centre?

Three years later and with Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus on the horizon, the world appears to have spectacularly missed the point not just of the previous game but also that small-scale event by the name of World War II, as instead we had a quite terrifying number of people critical of the game with increasingly depressing arguments which happened to serve as the basis of yet another game of Breitbart Bingo.

Yet in the face of the exact same meaningless buzzwords and baseless arguments being thrown their way in pretty much the same order that they always are, Bethesda didn’t scale back on promoting Wolfenstein II - instead they pushed the envelope that little bit further by hitting on the advertising slogan Make America Nazi Free Again and, would you believe it, it didn’t take long before the flakiest of the far alt-right gave the game so much free publicity while underlining some of the game’s themes.

“Make us whole again”

I really didn’t want this to turn into one long, drawn-out EA bashing session, but bloody hell did they make it hard not to paint them in a bad light this year.

In the same week where gamers were discovering just how obnoxious Battlefront II’s reliance on lootboxes was during the game’s open beta, EA decided to close down Dead Space developer Visceral Games while also justifying their move by claiming that modern players don’t like linear single-player games.

Is it worth pointing out to EA that some of the year’s top-selling games include the remarkably linear single-player experiences The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, Horizon Zero Dawn and Resident Evil VII? Because nobody seems to have told EA this.

An absolute failure

Having been booted off Steam in 2016 after their attempt to sue a number of Steam users went about as well as could have been expected by anyone other than James & Robert Romine, the one thing Digital Homicide had to cling to was their spurious lawsuit against Jim Sterling.

The lawsuit was dismissed with prejudice in February.

Sterling himself has spoken of the entire case at great length, and what soon becomes clear is just how divorced from reality the Romines claims were - not least the part where they couldn’t even get their sums correct for their total of damages claimed.

What’s interesting about the case is that, according to Sterling himself, he was under great pressure during the whole process not to mess it up given his messing up could have had ramifications for all of Youtube.

If that wasn’t enough final nails in the coffin of Digital Homicide, 2017 also gave us the one person whop made the Romines look almost sane: Alex Mauer.

And I’m not touching that shitshow with a 50ft cruise missile...

“You may not recognise me at first, but it’s still me...”

It appeared that the Five Nights at Freddy’s franchise had come to a natural end (again...) with 2016′s Sister Location, and there was no hint of another FNAF game being in production.

That was until a free game by the name of Pizzeria Simulator appeared on Steam in early December, which soon greeted players with this...

Oh yes, not only was FNAF back, but it literally snuck onto Steam with nobody knowing of its existence until it was there - which, funnily enough, also sums up the game’s plot.

Once the word was out and the game changed its name to Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria Simulator soon people were poring over the clues to see what other secrets would be revealed - or they completely ignored that side of the gameplay and instead focused their efforts on running a successful pizzeria without a single homicidal animatronic being involved with their running of the place. That’s right: Pizzeria Simulator was the first game in the FNAF franchise that it was possible to play without a single jumpscare.

If the player was to invite the animatronics into their pizzeria and endure the usual gameplay loops of listening for noises and hoping not to have a few weeks shaved off their lifespan when missing out the one audio cue that told them they were headed for Jumspcare City, then the player was rewarded with an ending not just for the game, but seemingly the franchise as a whole . And it has to be said that in a year of microtransaction hell, the fact that Scott Cawthon actually gave away the (probable) final entry of the series for literally nothing is certainly something to be commended.

Obnoxious Youtuber manages to be even more obnoxious

The most noxious thing to come out of Sweden since surströmming managed to outdo his obnoxious posturing from last year and go into full-on dickhead mode throughout 2017 - and yet somehow fail to accept responsibility for their own dickheadedness being the main issue.

Early in the year he lost both his Youtube Red show and a lucrative partnership with Maker Studios after post a stunt on his channel where he had a couple of people hold up a banner featuring an anti-semitic message - yet rather than accept that maybe none of this would have happened if he didn’t think a couple of people holding up an anti-semitic slogan was a punchline to any joke he railed against the Wall Street Journal for covering the story. That’s the story that wouldn’t have been written if he didn't have a couple of people holding up a banner featuring an anti-semitic message for the lulz.

Following that, instead of thinking it would be a bright idea to keep his head down and accept he’d made a mistake, especially as his high profile means his mistakes are the sort that could reflect on all Youtubers - which, in the year of the Adpocalypse, is another reason to not be such an idiot - a few months later he was back in the headlines after using a racial slur on his Twitch stream. While he did at least attempt an apology for this incident rather than blame someone else, his apology still had his tone deaf explanation that he blurted out the word in the heat of the moment.

Funnily enough, come the Youtube Rewind, he wasn’t invited to participate. That didn't stop him posting a couple of pathetically whiny vlogs on the subject, though...

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loving-jack-kelly · 8 years ago

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Newsies Boyband AU!

Now first of all I would call them the Newsboys but like...that’s a real band that exists so idk what their name would be

But anyway! Boybands! Fun and cute and lots of wiggle room!

Crutchie

lead singer

beloved by his bandmates and by most fans but every once in awhile there’s that one fan

Idk I just think Charlie is overrated....he can’t sing that well, Jack has a nicer voice, and I think he only gets to sing lead because of his leg :/ I’m not ableist or anything, I just don’t like him

Mostly Crutchie ignores things like that but once in awhile he wonders if they’re true

Jack

lead guitar/harmonies

very much the Hot Onetm but people tend to overlook his talents

designed the logo and does all of the shirts and album covers but doesn’t make that public knowledge

the Crutchie Bashers usually use Jack as an excuse and Jack is having none of it he’s a master vague tweeter

I love all my bandmates and everyone is perfectly suited to what they do, from lights to vocals!

I feel like people forget Crutch and I have been best friends since fifth grade and I have videos like this cause if they didn’t they’d ask for more [video of Crutchie singing The Wizard and I at a middle school talent show]

he loves singing harmony, and only sings lead if somebody makes him. two songs in their repertoire include him on melody

Race

the drummer

(haha guess who still likes EYDW with all his heart?)

he’s the Wild Onetm but everyone adores him because he’s cute and funny

Racetrack Higgins Highlights:

“So I was like, fuck it-wait shit I can’t swear in interviews-fuck! Dammit, sorry, I-” “Race just stop talking”

he broke a snare during a concert once and put it on his head like a hat

pictures of him kissing everyone in the band, on crew, and even fans on the cheek but it’s because that’s what he does. In Italy. That’s how you greet people. and it just carried over

always wears a necklace with a shark tooth. gazes into the distance when asked where it was from and responds with, “I’ll never forget her.” Actually bought it Wings on a day off in North Carolina

changes hair colors every other week. fans go to two concerts in two days. first one he has bright red hair. next day it’s bright blue.

slowly acquiring more piercing until one day they’re all gone.

“Lmao you though those were real? I cried when I got a single ear piercing.”

then people think his tattoo is fake and it isn’t but it’s ridiculous. like literally the word “THOT” on the back of his neck. Spot dared him to.

so people love him even though he’s wild

Spot

designs sound for recordings and live shows

most fans only know him as the one goading Race on

but once in a while somebody recognizes him in the sound booth and is like “ahh, that’s who he is”

also secretly write lyrics sometimes but asks to be credited as “Sam Carlson” so his poetic writing doesn’t ruin his tough guy image

which makes people think of all these crazy theories as to who Sam Carlson is and why he writes songs randomly for the band

is the only reason Race hasn’t gotten lost on tour in a gas station

is the one who set up the Walkie Talkie system that keeps everyone organized

the star of Jack’s snapchat story half the time but never caught doing anything strange? people just know he’s awesome and says funny things

is the one who adopted the cat and resulted in him being named Asshole but it was an accident

Katherine and Sarah

managers and lighting designers

really cool and really gay

every time they’re doing a show around a Pride parade time or during Pride month there are rainbows and other flags everywhere

Sarah is also in charge of PR after the Incident of Race accidentally DMing a fan who’s username included Jack’s name something along the lines of “sup fuckface where are you everyone else is here and you’re the one who said he was bringing the good stuff”

by good stuff he’d simply meant the Purple Doritos but the fan didn’t know that and it took a while for people to let that go

People think Jack and Kat are dating for a long time because they’re always together

it literally took like fifty pictures of Kat and Saz kissing before people stopped denying how gay she was

Davey

plays bass but also violin and other related string instruments

sometimes sings a third part but not usually

people don’t give him much credit until there’s a new song

which starts out really slow and is only Jack singing and Davey playing cello but mid song it picks up and Dave changes instruments really fast like in the space of one beat to violin and goes really hard and the song tops the charts for weeks because it’s like crazy good

“yeah I’m a classically trained violinist, I just usually have more fun on bass” “...” “but i like that song a lot, most times I’m on violin it’s slow and boring”

that song is also when most of the Crutchie Bashing started because it was the first really popular one that featured Jack on melody since only Jack sang

Their shows are legendary for being good like the vocals the instrumentals everything is always good

they got their start in college where Crutchie got them into one of the theatres and it was just for fun

but Race, the wild one even in the very beginning, realized that they were actually really good and signed them up for some show like America’s Got Talent or something like that

and while they didn’t win overall, they did get enough attention to get a record deal

and then they just EXPLODED and became the new big thing

which kind of freaked all of them out a little bit because what has started as fun music with friends was suddenly paparazzi and crazy fans and people wanting to know “when is it what is it where is it how are you will you” about their songs

but they mostly acclimated pretty fast

Crutchie had the hardest time because while he’s friendly he’s also a but of an introvert and needs his privacy which was suddenly a lot harder to find

like most boybands, instantly there were Those Fans who shipped people

the most common one became Jack and Race because they seemed like the ones most likely to like each other

really though it was Spot and Race, who balanced each other out, and Jack and Crutchie, who’d been in love for years and only figure it out when people started trying to ship Jack and Race which made Crutchie really jealous, and the people who nobody knew as well like Specs and Romeo, Kat and Saz (at first they became better known later), etc

they get a really good rep with people because they’re always willing to take a selfie or like fanart as long as it isn’t creepy, or answer questions

Jack hosts monthly Q&A sessions on his snapchat and each time it’s somebody new

so like the first one is Crutchie, then Davey, then Race, then Katherine, then Sarah, the Romeo, etc

They don’t come out for a long time but one day they’re performing in a town where there's this big news story about a gay kid getting harassed at school and they know the kid is there because it was the only positive thing they found on his twitter, so they all come out together like the entire band and crew

“So we’ve heard about some of the stuff that’s been going on here, and we want everyone to know that we don’t agree with it, at all. In fact, things like that effect us, too. I’m not the most eloquent speaker, but if you’re hurting today because of who you are, of how you’re born, know that you’ll always have support with us.”

And Jack kisses Crutchie in public for the first time which leads to Race stealing Crutchie’s mic and yelling something about “get up here asshat we can’t let him show us up!” and then suddenly every single couple involved in the band is on stage being proud of who they are

the kid who was getting bullied cried and then they invited him backstage and he cried more and it was really sweet and they stayed in touch

After that the Discoursetm is horrible around them for like, months

“reminder that Jack is dating Crutchie and shipping him with Race is not cool”

“reminder that we can ship whoever we want with whoever we want and it doesn’t cause harm”

“stop calling Jack bi when he’s gay, don’t erase his identity” (jack retweets it with the added caption “I’m bi as heck actually everyone is pretty and it’s not fair :)”

“they’re just faking it for attention!!!1!!1″

after a few years they announce it’s their last tour and people are like “oh no, what happened, did people start fighting?”

and their answer is “no but we’re like twenty eight now and honestly just want to get married and settle down”

except for Spot and Race who plan on going around the world in eighty days and then getting a dog and doing it again with the dog

or at least, that Race’s plan, Spot just honestly wants to stop moving around and settle down a bit, but maybe not get married yet

So the band breaks up and people are kinda sad but every time they’re all in one place, which is pretty often since they’re all best friends, somebody snapchat/instagram/twitter/youtube gets a new video of them messing around

Jack and Davey out out a solo album and it’s really good

Crutchie gets coerced into releasing a Christmas album and it’s funny

and Davey makes a Hanukkah album that’s him playing and singing traditional songs that he sang growing up and it’s gorgeous

Bonus: Red Carpet Tidbits

because I have a lot of feelings about Crutchie’s style

Crutchie gets known for never wearing a normal tux like it’s always custom done and never just black or navy

also his makeup is always On Point like crazy good and people are like “tell us your secrets” and he’s like “lol cvs and years of practice and makeup tutorials from YouTube”

Jack wears normal suites but there’s always a twist

the first was the time he actually just spilled paint on himself in the suit bc he’s an idiot but there wasn’t time for a new one so they ended up just going with it and it looked pretty okay

and after that he get’s suites from like Macy’s modified to look better on him and to add cool things

also his hat game is pretty terrific

he’s also a total hipster and people know it

Davey wears totally normal red carpet men’s attire but lets Crutchie do his makeup and look absolutely gorgeous

Race wears crazy stuff

like you know the Great Comet ensemble costume design? probably things like that. formal wear turned into punk style things and he pulls it off and lets Crutchie do his makeup too

the best picture of the band is from like, the Grammys or some award show like that where Crutchie is in a purple suit, Jack is wearing a beanie and a jackson pollock styled color splashed suit, dave is looking fine in a perfectly normal suit and SUPER Extra but good makeup, and Race is like barely clothed but still obviously supposed to be wearing a suit like thing and like a foot shorter than everyone

#Asper talks too much #txting #yet another au nobody asked for #boyband au #newsies au #newsies hc #newsies #i forgot to finish this pls reblog from me and not other people thats so embarrassing

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winetae · 8 years ago

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⇁ paper doll | prologue

⚬ pairing⇁Jungkook x Reader

⚬ genre⇁drama, slight angst || idol+singer-songwriter!au

⚬ warnings⇁sexual themes with smut in the next chapters, mentions of past unhealthy relationship

When the nation’s little sister, IU, gets into a huge scandal, your agency seizes the opportunity to thrust you into that now vacant spotlight. Your self-composed song Paper Doll becomes an overnight sensation, and soon people are itching to find out who was the one who broke your heart. All hell breaks loose once netizens discover that you used to date popular idol, Jeon Jungkook. Little do they know that it wasn’t him who left the relationship unscathed — it was you.

↳ alternatively: a story on the consequences of a hit break-up song

::00::01::02

a/n; so basically this is me being coerced into writing jjk smut

[+11,435; -2,003] this really breaks my image of him… proves how you can’t judge someone from their personality on camera

[+9,386; -1,983] all this time he was pretending to be super innocent haha all those stupid fangirls throwing money at him blindly must be going crazy

[+5,903; -1,234] i mean everyone goes through break-ups, but he was cosplaying as an innocent guy who was scared of skinship with girls all these years.. lmao he’s super shamel—

The words on the screen in front of him all blurred and bled into one big stain. He quickly scrolled through the hundreds and hundreds of comments, each more condemning than the last. A steady pressure was building in his ears, until the only thing he could see or feel were the accusations of a faceless crowd, all jeering at him loudly, fingers pointed.

It was as if his entire life flashed in front of his eyes right then, and he could suddenly recall every inconsequential and significant thing that had shaped his life the past seven years—the hours and hours spent in front of the mirror rehearsing the same steps over and over again, the taste of soggy ramen Hoseok hyung had let overcook last week, the screams of fans, the sound of his alarm clock, the look on your face when you told him it was over. There was no chronology to the kaleidoscope of fleeting glimpses of his past.

“What,” he breathed, hands shaking, eyes wide and disbelieving as his phone fell with a clatter on the table. He desperately wanted to ignore reality, but the stares that were all focused on him kept him grounded to the present.

Of course his first scandal would be linked to you.

Taehyung gave him a sympathetic pat on his shoulder but even that was half-hearted. The tension in the small room was palpable. For the first time since their debut they were confronted with this kind of situation, which meant no one knew what the appropriate reaction was. Despite their years of friendship, a single news article had created an awkwardness between the members.

He hadn’t spoken to any of them since they had been summoned into this emergency meeting but he was afraid that they blamed him—or worse—that they hated him now. The mere thought had his palms sweating in dread.

Just last week they had celebrated another music show win. All had been fine. Now Jungkook couldn’t help but feel like everything they had collectively shed sweat and tears over, was collapsing because of him.

“Our PR team is trying to smooth things over, but there’s only so much we can do.” In the corner of his eye, he saw Seokjin flinch as their head manager sighed angrily. They rarely interacted with this manager in the first place so having him present meant things were serious. Worry started to build up in Jungkook’s chest once more.

“Couldn’t we,” Jungkook could feel his throat go dry as everyone’s attention refocused on him. He decided to stare at his manager hyung’s mouth, not having the courage to look at him in the eye. “Couldn’t we just wait until all of this blows over?”

“Fat chance. Her company will probably milk this scandal for all it’s worth. This is probably the most publicity Jihae has gotten since her debut. It wouldn’t surprise me if they threw a party.”

“It’s all bullshit though, it’s not true. None of this is true.” His words tripped against one another, showing his increasing desperation.

None of this should be happening. Your name, your face – all of it was supposed to remain a memory. But someone had reopened that box he had fought so hard to keep shut, and his relationship to you, his relationship with you, all of it had been shoved back to the forefront of his mind.

“Are you say saying you never dated her?” His manager looked up, hopeful.

“Well I- I did,” he fumbled with his words again. Hearing your name had triggered certain images but he quickly blinked away those echos of you. “But she broke up with me.”

It was pathetic, almost. How you were still effortlessly ruining his life, even after all these years. There had been moments when he had sworn he had never hated anyone as much as you. He wondered if you knew how much you still affected him. Would you even care? You probably didn’t. Had you even seen the news yet? Probably. You had always been addicted to your phone, checking the real-time music charts to see how well his songs were doing. Except that now you were probably monitoring your own songs instead of his. He pushed the thought aside. You weren’t important right now. Except you were.

His manager was silently processing the piece of information, unaware of Jungkook’s conflicting emotions, his fingers tapping away on his phone. “I’ll have to make a few calls but I wouldn’t get my hopes up. Unless we get their side to match the story, the public will think we’re just trying to do damage control. Which wouldn’t be far from the truth.”

Jungkook nervously eyed his members. He was trying to figure out what to say to them afterwards. How should he apologize? What was he supposed to say?

“Regardless, we have to act quickly. The news came out about 45 minutes ago. We have a 72-hour window to fix this before the damage gets out of control. Her company is the main problem here. We obviously will have to compromise but we’re not sure what they could possibly want… It’s difficult to say for now.”

They all stood up when they saw that their manager was getting ready to leave. Jungkook still felt horribly responsible about everything, even though he knew that logically none of this was his fault.

“You guys just stay in the dorms today. I’ve cancelled the magazine interview that was scheduled this afternoon. Oh, and I hope it goes without saying that you should stay off SNS for the next week or so.”

Those were his parting words before the door closed loudly behind him. Sensing the uneasy atmosphere, Namjoon cleared his throat.

“Look, I think I speak for all of us when I say that we don’t blame you for this. Don’t beat yourself up over it. I’m sure they’ll find a solution. It’ll be fine.”

“Still—I’m sorry hyungs,” he attempted to face them straight on but didn’t manage. He was petrified of seeing disappointment reflected in their eyes. He wasn’t sure he could handle that. Not now. “I’m really sorry.”

He had never felt so small in front of them. Even that one time he had been severely scolded in front of everybody could not compare to today.

“Don’t worry,” repeated Jimin, trying to sound reassuring. “It’s gonna be okay.”

Jungkook wondered if Jimin was trying to convince himself too.

The rest of the members repeated variations of his encouragement, but Jungkook couldn’t help but feel like he had let them down. He locked himself in his room, suddenly drained. The past half-hour had taken ten years off his lifespan. He wanted to cry but he wasn’t sure he had the energy for it.

Again, images of you clouded his mind.

How long had it been? He had seen you at a broadcast station last month, from far. But it had been longer than that since the two of you had actually conversed. Ever since that day… he hadn’t spoken to you. You hadn’t bothered either. Almost two years, then.

Just seeing your face had stirred up ugly emotions. He could remember the anger, the betrayal, the jealousy, the constant fights over the most meaningless things. You had managed to provoke him in the worst ways—as if you liked seeing the toxic parts of him. All of it had made the sex more satisfying, because it was the only time he felt like he had complete control over the situation. Those times when he had you laid out the way he wanted in front of him, he knew that you needed him. Nothing had been more fulfilling than hearing you moan his name and beg eagerly for him. Even thinking about it was starting to arouse him. You had really fucked him up.

He hated you.

During the last few weeks of their relationship he remembered thinking how much he hated you. He hated the sharp smell of your floral perfume, the little hiccuping sound at the end of your laugh, and the little lines that formed between your eyebrows when you were immersed in writing lyrics. He despised how you had made him hate the good parts of you, the shades of you that only he had been privy to.

It wasn’t as if you were evil incarnate. Sure, you were vain and materialistic, and you were extremely picky about your food, but he wouldn’t label you evil. Deceitful and manipulative and haughty—those all seemed fitting to describe you. Evil seemed like too much. Or too little. He wasn’t sure anymore. Jungkook was never certain when it came to you. In the beginning, the hesitancy had been what he thought was characteristic of first loves. The silent searching, the suspense, the thrill. It had been that way, before.

Along the way, you had started to enjoy goading him and pushing him to the edge until he had no other choice but to push back. You liked your games. Before, he believed he had been playing with you; in the end, he knew you had been playing him.

The most twisted part was that everyone thought you were South Korea’s sweetheart. To them, your hobby was doing charity work, singing for sick kids, and whatever else you were up to these days. In white dresses, you radiated innocence and purity he was certain you did not possess. From afar, he remembered how soft your features had looked, how bright your expression had been. The voice you used in public was a bit higher pitched than the one he was used to, more cheerful, and it had carried down the hallway. This version of you was so radically different from what he remembered, that it was easy to pretend that you were a seperate person entirely. A stranger.

It had been easy back then to pretend you weren’t the girl he hated, the one who had left him without turning back once. But even though the you in his past and the you in the present were seemingly two entirely different individuals, he couldn’t help himself from disliking your new form as well. How could he not? Not when he knew that version of you was completely fabricated. A delicate construction masking truth. A lie. You were good at lying.

Vibrations pulled him from his train of thought.

During the short amount of time he hadn’t looked at his phone, countless of messages had poured in. His friends, his sunbaes.. all of them asking how he was, if the news was true. Fuck, even his family had seen the news. There were too many messages to be able to respond to all of them at once. He would deal with that later. Right now he just needed a nap.

Just as he was about to turn off his phone in a weak attempt to delay the inevitable, his phone vibrated once more. Although he had erased every trace of you from his phone a long time ago, he still recognized the series of familiar numbers that flashed on his screen. It was with a sick amount of curiosity that he opened the message.

hey jungkook, it’s me. i’m guessing you saw the news. can we talk ?

[↦ next ]

#bangtanwriters-net #bts scenario #jungkook #bts smut #jungkook scenario #jungkook smut #jungkook angst #bts angst #honestly didn't think i would be writing fanfiction again #but here i am #didn't think i would be writing a jjk fic #yet here i am #honestly what is my life #so forgive me if this is trash #i haven't written in FOREVER

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writerspink · 6 years ago

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K-12 Words

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anything syllables past describe winter even also eleven moon fruit sand apple women nose solve Math problem plus minus equals stone pants shirt starry thousand divided just train shall held short lay dictionary twelve suddenly mind race clothes learn picked probably raised finished end plaid years bill place hundred different drop came river milk beautiful square lake hole fingers flat sea type over new sound take only little work know live me back give most very after things our name good sentence man think say great where help through much before line right too means old any same tell boy follow want show around form three small

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interest job because such think thirteen subject answer letter meet north length need times divide (by) times table edge soft months present energy point sound log south wide members exercise flowers set found things heart cause site brother teacher live read billion another distance written kept direction developed wall east happy million world must house turn west change well twenty felt put end does large big even here why ask went men land different home us move try kind hand picture again off dress play spell air away animal page mother study still learn should America

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paragraph weather window third believe discovered simple gone paint new store form cells matter follow perhaps cannot good means around line center kind reason move forest sentence return instruments beside represent wild study back farmers sum difference product quotient remainder mother animal land region record summer general caterpillar scratch modern adjust passenger promise equal creak almost croak book dainty song high every near add food between own below country plant last school father keep tree never start city earth eyes light thought head under story saw left don’t few while along might close something seem next hard open example begin life always those both paper together got group often run

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misty poor caution pest phrase life startle squirm alone centaur rise mountain above illustrator footprint temperature decorate country sweat sometimes hair smiled everything began thick compass themselves enough took although splendid crowded second act attach sly talk wonder let’s whirl someone Africa borrow beat belong blink per fasten pain begin drenched bed shell free earth tiny slippery count factors important until children side feet car mile night walk white sea grow river four carry state once book hear stop without late miss idea eat face watch far Indian real almost let girl mountains cut young soon list song being leave family it’s

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drowsy bashful hatch glad copy possible wicked grin sibling shovel run verb sail polish ride young steep case Indian laughed soil appear bolts costume melody narrow behave howl example flee together lot filthy alarm spiral selfish idea conductor fight rolled middle glacier tree dizzy gather sneaky already construct every miss lively metal couldn’t gold plant mask chat nation hear either bundle section near rescue face divide sob celebrate family loosen jealous crash chimney daily own cozy ripe cut son natural serious carry care paper broken cue within body music color stand questions fish area mark horse birds problem complete room knew since ever piece told usually didn’t friends easy heard order red door sure become top ship across today during short better best however low hours black products happened whole measure remember early waves reached

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being instead ache exactly hard speed buy age late artistic close affordable fraction eyes appetite complain sleep seem eat below remove rusty grow glum stormy trust enormous scale open add grab upset weed denied expensive story terrified lead jumped died basket side bear bend list tomb while batch grateful father gleaming dress light sprinkle amount exclaim result yank leave cheat whimper angle outside remain heap champion surprise dodge moment fancy squeeze pretend village shriek city thunder rapid iron striped don’t attitude bell hat tug isn’t applause children honest cross spring freezing listen wind rock space covered fast several hold himself toward five step morning passed vowel true hundred against pattern numeral table north expert slowly money map farm pulled draw voice seen cold cried plan notice south sing war ground fall king town I’ll unit figure certain field travel wood fire upon

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pattern cave hope mile group travel blush killed seed bottom hide important let ticket timid pounds restart silent cranky keep real bright quite curved repeat trip without dart consonant mountains quiet apologize roar grip groan bolt food injury century exhausted cabin atmosphere floor it’s scold transportation delighted giant hill something build fog method rough left everyone obey deserve speak therefore soon french switch until pushed state knob hobby between surround collect fire I’ll arrive road happened certain top order astronomy inches club catch farm nibble color yourself received connect told gaze check wear English half ten fly gave box finally wait correct oh quickly person became shown minutes strong verb stars front feel fact street decided contain course surface produce building ocean class note nothing rest carefully scientists inside wheels stay green known island week less machine base ago stood

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round award crowd slowly yet products, goods, services vowel himself strange whose draw team hold feel flood sent save stood yard notice warn enemy deep please flap coast music wrote safe blast behind island lizard figure famous garden correct whisper listen joined clear share net thus calf maybe cried piece fold seen england decided bank fell pair control clean telescope trouble glass float morning horse produce course hunting rest step statement contain shouted filled zigzag accident cents instrument fly single express visit desert seeds chew dome experiment break gravity against branch size low plane system ran boat game force brought understand warm common bring explain dry though language shape thousands yes equation government heat full hot check object am rule among noun power cannot able six dark ball material special heavy fine circle include built

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mark wealthy row feeling across attention ran map students inside design art mouth ring skill hot during shelter full till log (book) blossom discard bring quickly scientists party town covered wise early cram grain harm goal pause inform heal clue fame freeze badge pimple dim missionary diet dumb rod march agree stick government bulb mall ban greed skiing poison stove image grew fact material dangerous flow gap ago stack explain didn’t strong voice true drawing surface gift corner cloud since king dawn pulled dozen friends greedy burning upon knew insect decimal nervous pay foot weak smooth aware steady serve lost nonetheless beach front atlas questions less cost slight motor banner wire area carefully separate equation local minutes fast table plan fine waves fair sing dive suppose boat thousands shape among toward gas factory birds wait understand sure ship report captain human game history reflect special brave bounce though else can’t matter square syllables perhaps bill felt suddenly test direction center farmers ready anything divided general energy subject Europe moon region return believe dance members picked simple cells paint mind love cause rain exercise eggs train blue wish drop developed window difference distance heart site sum summer wall forest probably

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include cage language base red brain building feast better built demolish excess leap tower ocean plains cold claw information scholar climbed woman worry strand heavy herd common ground damp pack choose president least increase half english invent class measure dash tremble object become doubt became bare wheels continued shiver engine core couple business stars week peak numeral brought nothing touch reached uncle symbols however rumor evening inasmuch (as) force curious heat career system valley dust flock spray robber practice lonely remember luxury warm heard calm rock frighten leader difficulty best gum cheer key support universe stream bit usually fish parade balance money note cliff stand proof you’re pale machine complete cool shown street today shy easy several search unit war power caught settle itself fuel mention fresh planet plane straight period person able direct space wood seal field circle lady board besides hours passed known whole similar underline main winter wide written length reason kept interest arms brother race present beautiful store job edge past sign record finished discovered wild happy beside gone sky grass million west lay weather root instruments meet third months paragraph raised represent soft whether clothes flowers shall teacher held describe drive appreciate structure visible artificial

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afraid absorb british seat fear stretched furniture sight oxygen coward rope clever yellow albeit confess passage france fan cattle spot explore rather active death effect mine create wash printed process origin rose swift woe planets doze gasp chief perform triumph value substances tone score predict property movement harsh tube settled defend reverse ancient blood sharp border fierce plunge consider terms vision intend total schedule attract average intelligent corn dead southern glide supply convince send continent brief mural symbol crew chance suffix habit insects entered nursery especially spread drift major fig diagram guess wit sugar predator science necessary moisture park ordeal nectar fortunate flutter gun forward globe misery molecules arctic won’t actually addition washington cling rare lie steel pastime soldiers chill accordingly capital prevent solution greek sensitive electric agreed thin provide indicate northern volunteer sell tied triangle action opposite shoulder imitate steer wander except match cross speak solve appear metal son either ice sleep village factors result jumped snow ride care floor hill pushed baby buy century outside everything tall already instead phrase soil bed copy free hope spring case laughed nation quite type themselves temperature bright lead everyone method section lake iron within dictionary bargain loyal resource struggle vary capture exclaim gloomy insist restless shallow shatter talent atmosphere brilliant endure glance precious unite certain clasp depart journey observe superb treasure wisdom

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prepared journey trade delicate arrived track cotton hoe furnish exciting view grasp level branches privilege limit wrong enable ability various moreover spoil starve dollars digest advice sense accuse pretty wasn’t industry adopt loyal suggested blow treasure cook adjective doesn’t wings tools crops loud smell frail wisdom fit expect ahead lifted deed device weight gradual respect interesting arrange particular compound examine cable climate division individual talent fatal entire advantage opponent wouldn’t elements column custom enjoy grace theory suitable wife shoes determine allow marsh workers difficult repeated thrill position born distant revive magnificent shop sir army struggled deal plural rich rhythm rely poem company string locate church mystify elegant led actual responsible japanese huge fun meat observe swim office chart avoid factories block called experience win crumple brilliant located pole bought conditions sister details primary survey truck recall disease radio rate scatter decay signal approach launch hair age amount scale pounds although per broken moment tiny possible gold milk quiet natural lot stone act build middle speed count consonant someone sail rolled bear wonder smiled angle fraction Africa killed melody bottom trip hole poor let’s fight surprise French died beat exactly remain fingers clever coast explore imitate pierce rare symbol triumph ancient cling disturb expose perform remote timid bashful brief compete consider delightful honor reflex remark brink chill conquer fortunate fury intend pattern vibrant wit

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capture remark western outcome risk current bold compare resident ambition arrest furthermore desire confuse accurate disclose considerable contribute calculate baggage literacy noble era benefit orchard shabby content precious manufacture dusk afford assist demonstrate instant concentrate sturdy severe blend vacant weary carefree host limb pointless prepare inspire shallow chamber vast ease attentive source frantic lack recent distress basic permit threat analyze distract meadow mistrust jagged prefer sole envy hail reduce arena tour annual apparent recognize captivity burrow proceed develop humble resist peculiar response communicate circular variety frequent reveal essential disaster plead mature appropriate attractive request congratulate address destructive fragile modest attempt tradition ancestor focus flexible conclude venture impact generosity routine tragic crafty furious blossom concern ascend awkward master queasy release portion plentiful alert heroic extraordinary frontier descend invisible coax entrance capable peer terror mock outstanding valiant typical competition hardship entertain eager limp survive tidy antonym duplicate abolish approach approve glory magnificent meek prompt revive watchful wreckage audible consume glide origin prevent punctuate representative scorn stout woe arch authentic clarify declare grant grave opponent valid yearn admirable automatic devotion distant dreary exhaust kindle predict separation stunt

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evade debate dedicate budge available miniature petrify pasture banquet pedestrian solitary decline reassure nonchalant exhibit realistic exert abuse dictate minor monarch concept character strategy soar beverage tropical withdraw challenge kin navigate purchase reliable mischief solo combine vivid aroma spurt illuminate narrator retain excavate avalanche preserve suspend accomplish exasperate obsolete occasion myth reign sparse gorge intense revert antagonist talon aggressive alternate retire cautiously blizzard require endanger luxurious senseless portable sever compensate companion visual immense slither guardian compassion escalate detect protagonist oasis altitude assume seldom courteous absurd edible identical pardon approximate taunt achievement homonym hearty convert wilderness industrious sluggish thrifty deprive independent bland confident anxious astound numerous resemble route access jubilation saunter hazy impressive document moral crave gigantic bungle prefix summit overthrow perish visible translate comply intercept feeble exult compose negative suffocate frigid synonym appeal dominate deplete abundant economy desperate diligent commend boycott jovial onset burden fixture objective siege barrier conceive formal inquire penalize picturesque predator privilege slumber advantage ambition defiant fearsome imply merit negotiate purify revoke wretched absorb amateur channel elegant grace inspect lame tiresome tranquil boast eloquent glisten ideal infectious invest locate ripple sufficient uproar

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apprehensive dialogue prejudice marvel eligible accommodate arrogant distinct knack deposit liberate cumulative consequence strive salvage chronological unique vow concise influence lure poverty priority legislation significant conserve verdict leisure erupt beacon stationary generate provoke efficient campaign paraphrase swarm adhere eerie mere mimic deteriorate literal preliminary solar soothe expanse ignite verge recount apparel terrain ample quest composure majority collide prominent duration pursue innovation omniscient resolute unruly optimist restrain agony convenient constant prosper elaborate genre retrieve exploit continuous dissolve dwell persecute abandon meager elude rural retaliate primitive remote blunder propel vital designate cultivate loathe consent drastic fuse maximum negotiate barren transform conspicuous possess allegiance beneficial former factor deluge vibrant intimidate idiom dense awe rigorous manipulate transport discretion hostile clarity arid parody boisterous capacity massive prosecute declare stifle remorse refuge predicament treacherous inevitable ingenious plummet adapt monotonous accumulate reinforce extract reluctant vacate hazardous inept diminish domestic linger context excel cancel distribute document fragile myth reject scuffle solitary temporary veteran assault convert dispute impressive justify misleading numerous productive shrewd strategy villain bluff cautious consist despise haven miniature monarch obstacle postpone straggle vivid aggressive associate deceive emigrate flexible glamour hazy luxurious mishap overwhelm span blemish blunt capable conclude detect fatigue festive hospitality nomad supreme

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exclude civic compact painstaking supplement habitat leeway minute hoax contaminate likeness migration commentary extinct tangible originate urban unanimous subordinate collaborate obstacle esteem encounter futile cordial trait improvises superior exaggerate anticipate cope evolve eclipse dissent anguish subsequent sanctuary formulates makeshift controversy diversity terminate precise equivalent pamper prior potential obnoxious radiant predatory presume permanent pending simultaneously tamper supervise perceived vicious patronize trickle stodgy rant oration preview species poised perturb vista wince yearn persist shirk status tragedy trivial snare vindictive wrath recede peevish rupture unscathed random toxic void orthodox subtle resume sequel upright wary overwhelm perjury uncertainty prowess utmost throb pluck pique vengeance pelt urgent substantial robust sullen retort ponder whim saga sham reprimand vocation assimilate dub defect accord embark desist dialect chastise banter inaugurate ovation barter muse blasé stamina atrocity deter principal liberal epoch preposterous advocate audacious dispatch incense deplore institute deceptive component subside spontaneous bonanza ultimate wrangle clarify hindrance irascible plausible profound infinite accomplish apparent capacity civilian conceal duplicate keen provoke spurt undoing vast withdraw barrier calculate compose considerable deputy industrious jolt loot rejoice reliable senseless shrivel alternate demolish energetic enforce feat hearty mature observant primary resign strive verdict brisk cherish considerate displace downfall estimate humiliate identical improper poll soothe vicinity abolish appeal brittle condemn descend dictator expand famine portable prey thrifty visual

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stance vie instill exceptional avail strident formidable rebuke enhance benign perspective tedious aloof encroach memoir mien desolate inventive prodigy staple stint fallacy grope vilify recur assail tirade antics recourse clad jurisdiction caption pseudonym reception humane ornate sage ungainly overt sedative amiss convey connoisseur rational enigma fortify servile fastidious contagious elite disgruntled eccentric pioneer abet luminous era sleek serene proficient rue articulate awry pungent wage deploy anarchy culminate inventory commemorate muster adept durable foreboding lucrative modify authority transition confiscate pivotal analogy avid flair ferret decree voracious imperative grapple deface augment shackle legendary trepidation discern glut cache endeavor attribute phenomenon balmy bizarre gullible loll rankle decipher sublime rubble renounce porous turbulent heritage hover pithy allot minimize agile renown fend revenue versa gaunt haven dire doctrine intricate conservative exotic facilitate bountiful cite panorama swelter foster indifferent millennium gingerly conscientious intervene mercenary citadel obviously rely supportive sympathy weakling atmosphere decay gradual impact noticeable recede stability variation approximately astronomical calculation criterion diameter evaluate orbit sphere agricultural decline disorder identify probable thrive expected widespread bulletin contribution diversity enlist intercept operation recruit survival abruptly ally collide confident conflict protective taunt adaptation dormant forage frigid hibernate insulate export glisten influence landscape native plantation restore urge blare connection errand exchange

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feasible teem pang vice tycoon succumb capacious onslaught excerpt eventful forfeit crusade tract haggard susceptible exemplify ardent crucial excruciating embargo disdain apprehend surpass sporadic flustered languish conventional disposition theme plunder ignore project complaint title dramatic delivery litter experimental clinic arrogance preparation remind atomic occasional conscious deny maturity closure stressed translator animate observation physical further gently registration suppress combination amazing constructive allied poetry passion ecstasy mystery cheerful contribution spirit failed gummy commerce prove disagreement raid consume embarrass preference migrant devour encouragement quote mythology destined destination illuminating struggle accent ungrateful giggle approval confidence expose scientist operation superstitious emergency manners absolutely swallow readily mutual bound crisp orient stress sort stare comfort verbal heel challenging advertisement envious sex scar astonish basis accuracy enviable alliance specific chef embarrassed counter tolerable sympathetic gradually vanish informative amaze royal furry insist jealousy simplify quiver collaborate dedicated flexible function mimic obstacle technique archaeologist fragment historian intact preserve reconstruct remnant commence deed exaggeration heroic impress pose saunter wring astound concealed inquisitive interpret perplexed precise reconsider suspicious anticipation defy entitled neutral outspoken reserved sought equal absorb affect circulate conserve cycle necessity seep barren expression meaningful plume focused genius perspective prospect stunned superb transition assume guarantee nominate

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install reticent corroborate regretfully strength murder concise cunning intention holy satire query confused progression disillusion background mundane abrupt multiple enormously introduce emulate harmful pragmatic pity rebut liberate enthusiastic elucidate camaraderie disparage nature creep profitability impression racist sobriety occupy autonomy currently amiable reiterate reproduce cripple modest offer atom provincial augment ungratefully expansion yield rashly allude immigration silence epitome exacerbate somber avid dispute vindicate collaborate manufacturer embellish superficial propaganda incompetent objective diminish statistics endure ambivalent perpetuate illuminate phenomenon exasperate originality restrict anxiety anthropology circumstances aesthetic manufacturing conventional dubious vulnerable reality precedent entity success term critical repair underscore stepmother republican hesitantly classic wary contents prediction immediate invoke notorious implicit excluding input skeptical foster element punish frank humanity profound dessert orthodox substance disappear encourage neighborhood elder superfluous naive ascertain complacent resilient deafening military tend prudent glare acceptance skillfully induce monster beam gullible conciliate vessel petty cantankerous disclose archaeology anecdote disdain electronics substantiate subjective tourism advisable joyful incredible provocative psychological ruins discipline condone indifferent misfortune judgmental industrialize tasty assume astute mission mar protective definitely escape oppress shocked virtual zealous endorse qualification hostile eccentric abstract disparate geographical scrutinize generalization tolerate activity claim dogmatic influential obsolete extol implausible subsequent resource chronic benevolent improve confidential ambiguous seriously dearth perplex hatred throughout dine contemporary evoke essentially economic flagrant obscure alleviate eloquent dreaadful clumsy sympathy victim condemn vigor condescend spontaneous quell reprehensible substantially sleeve equivocal ironic decry errand articulate progressive eradicate refreshments elicit aspiration recently exemplary bribery theoretical disingenuous partisan revere particle nostalgia self-aggrandizement debunk tyranny rhetoric hierarchy warning whimsical venerate commend assert miserable awful vibe constrain undermine explicit differentiate compliment scrupulous contempt erroneous ideal refute imply cynical rash presume insight revival vary delay renounce indignant offensive temperate circumstantial export peep logo advertise suppress distort chunk convoluted denounce overwhelming fertility rigorous acquire arrogant university antagonize profitable indulgent strategic breathing idiosyncrasy profession frugal discern accommodation adversary incredulous disturbance digress social belie roam smug continual pertinent voluntarily elite subtle blame sincerity lick horror censure involvement candid infer futile impetuous exploit bewilder sustain diligent sincere protect sealed musical empathy callous parenthetical insure acorn sarcasm seize sacrificially allege emphatic irrelevant progress diplomatic stunned improvise deride reconcile meticulous deject scientifically incontrovertible pressure justify gloomy depict supplant endurance analogous diary bolster slip contemplate pesticide glow religious advocate negligent creator lament fundamental embrace throne inherent inferior valuable thrive trivial pretense reserved capricious refresh refusal flight boost explanation coherent prevalent tenacious official royalty assassin rub poach delete

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warrant circumscribed somewhat explosive optimistic mandate previously detract opinion intuitive feasible intimate persistent humble simplicity tempt deliberate painful unethical fundamentals discrepancy remorse pessimistic possibility conclusion acknowledge impregnate soberly creation paralyze suitability oblige tranquil medal arbitrate pacify illusory susceptible vibrate vengeance infection democratic stressful grave speculative sample identification stifle obligation revenge organization namely mediocre practical scream weaken consensus affectionate deficient treacherous console isolation ingenious memory melodrama despair awestruck composition regret recommendation celebrity decision devoid opaque ornamentation longevity participate dread restore interrogate aid accordingly mislead embarrassment optimism domestic apt funds virtue geography fundamentally thoroughly press despite horrible chilling rental esteemed disappointment innovative contemplation assign popularize haunt deafen serene percent estrangement suffer extravagant throng estimate comment priesthood mass dreadfully promote periphery animated saying relate clarity triple derivative succeed distortion register suicide improvement discreet inquisition probable curative incident praise convenience baffle covet dreadful genuinely weary undisturbed disgruntled humility renown nonchalant monopoly comedy vague decisive inconsequential announcement fabricated nevertheless vigilant scarce neglectful hushed attainment tedious explode snatch pslm agency sentimental tension adhere meanwhile sacred avert conformity likewise challenger accessible responsibility peril contact event roast fallible catastrophic competitor violate resolute deceive exaggeration discredit intolerable approve paste dimly novelist demeanor norm politician satisfaction obvious vehicle reservation defer involve restoration crush audible assistant backpack attain inanimate commemorate confrontation emigration parasite disperse quantitative laughter policy vulgar occasionally repay effective eulogy starvation empty therapeutic overall immortal encompass inappropriate opportune engagement illustrate turmoil observatory classification expression reminiscence comedian invention depress remedy protagonist gesture texture diplomatic election prolong conducive emotional invigorate curiosity expressive %

K-12 Words was originally published on PinkWrite

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