care--bear-forbes

[shadowsandsunset]

My sister doesn't understand.

This grown, masculine man is my babygirl.

How is this confusing for you?

[wanderrghost]

i want whatever the lads in Sleep Token have

[sleepanonymous]

About your tags about those known collabs with other artists, what are all the known collabs hes done? Id heard he did piano for bfmv before but i havent been able to find out which songs

Hello Anon 🖤 Thanks for the ask, I actually had fun typing all of this up and doing research. Spoiler alert: I am now sus of every and any song that George Lever and Carl Bown have produced that contain synth/keys 😅

Also, side note, listening to all of these songs while fact checking really cemented how unique Vessel is as a pianist. It’s like he’s playing in his own language, if that makes sense? It’s truly beautiful.

For Bullet For My Valentine, Vessel did the Piano Versions on the deluxe Gravity album: Breathe Under Water, The Very Last Time, and Under Again. I’ve heard a couple of times that he also did synths for the standard version of the album, but there’s no absolute confirmation of it, since he was only initially credited in the three songs I mentioned. He did have the credits changed to Vessel1 before they were removed altogether from the songs. The album Gravity was supposedly recorded between 2016/2017, so around the same time that the One and Two EPs dropped. I’m not 100% positive how he got that gig, but that is supposedly how he met Carl Bown (the producer for Take Me Back to Eden). It could also be the other way around, and Carl and Vessel already knew each other and he brought Vessel in to do the piano versions.

He is credited as a composer (ie he played piano) for Holding Absence’s song Purge. Their self-titled album was recorded in 2018, so around the time Sleep Token released the singles Jaws and The Way That You Were. Fun fact about this collab: the band most likely met Ves through George Lever, since he produced Holding Absence’s album, and that’s how the Loathe/Holding Absence/Sleep Token tour came about.

In 2019, he collaborated with The Hell on their song Jump the Fuck Up. This one I have the least information on, since the band is also anonymous and seems to have revolving members. The only credits on the song are the band name and the composer/lyricist Stephen Sears. I haven’t done too much digging, but I would not be surprised if the band had ties to George, Carl, or even both producers.

In summer 2020, during lockdown, he did a piano cover of Type O Negative’s Love You To Death with the vocalist of Forlorn, Megan Jenkins. Her band has previously worked with George Lever. I do have to warn anyone who looks up this song on YouTube, since you’ll see him in the music video that was filmed (hands, arms, chin, hair/hair color, back). He was uncredited, but the mv is proof of his involvement.

The band Malevolence stated in a podcast interview that he played keys on the acoustic version of Higher Place, but was not credited (at least one band member didn’t even realize this). The song was produced by Carl Bown, and since the album/song was released in 2022, I’m assuming it was recorded sometime in 2021, so between recording TPWBYT and TMBTE.

[sleep-token-confessions]

In light of recent events surrounding fanart takedowns let me bring up a few things for consideration:

Not every single Sleep Token fanart is in danger. Stop spreading that please, because it is not the case. Most of the accounts taken down were accounts that sell fan created works. Accounts that only share, without money being exchanged are seem to be safe or only mistakenly suspended and they are being reactivated if the copyright claim was provably mistakenly applied.

Additionally:

Not only the logo falls under copyright protection but everything Sleep Token (from music, to costumes, to names etc). Which includes the likenesses of the members. You cannot make money from that. You cannot draw Vessel and put a price on the drawing. Because legally it is not yours to sell.

Fair use does not mean you can use copyrighted material for monetary gain. This includes using it as advertisement. Please look up what actually fair use means. There is nothing there that states you are protected from the copyright holder if you are selling said copyrighted material.

Fair use is technically only in practice in the US. Sleep Token is not a US based business entity. Different international laws might apply in their case.

(sidenote: Creative Common licenses also do not allow you to sell or use as advertisment any sort of copyrighted material, it is in a very similar ballpark)

RCA does not hate fanart. They are not stopping anyone from making fanworks. They want to stop you from selling it. Because it is copyrighted material. They don't want you to make money off of someone else's property.

RCA is not here to kill your creativity, RCA is there to protect Sleep Token's property. (Which again, includes their likeness.) They are in a business contract. Which makes RCA's responsibility to protect the Sleep Token property from theft. They are going to protect what is their's. Both of their's. Regardless of personal feelings. There are things called contractual obligations. and there are laws. Anf rights. They have the right for their own creation and/or property. Which, again, is not yours to sell.

It is not as simple as "RCA is the bad guy." They are a business entity. They will act according to their interest but in confines of the law. If you want to object to what they do, learn every single legal clause that could be invovled to defend your stance because the "they hate fanart" not going to stand in a legal enviroment.

If you have fanart you do not profit off of on the same platform as you sell your other works from, it is going to be confusing to differentiate what is actually generating profit for you and what isn't. And by law it can be considered advertisement for the monetized creations even if they not directly generate money for you. The usage of copyrighted material as an advertisement is still prohibited by law and directly violates copyrights. So the entire account will be taken down. Keep it separate however much it sucks.

I understand why a lot of you are upset over all what is happening. I'm not a fan of it either. But that doesn't mean it isn't a copyright violation.

.

[aquareegia]

If Sleep Token as a whole or even one member quits making music, I will be inconsolable. I will find every single person who harmed them and it will be on sight! Whoever you people are, I hope you wet your sleeves every time you wash your hands, I hope you touch wet food every time when you do the dishes, I hope your pillow is always warm on both sides, I hope you step on something wet every day for the rest of your life, I hope you step on legos for the rest of your life, I hope you stub your toes on every single corner for the rest of your life, you miserable excuse of a human being!

[ultraintrovertedgryffindor]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐫𝐮𝐠 𝐈𝐧 𝐌𝐞 𝐈𝐬 𝐘𝐨𝐮 - Javier Peña

"you've got me in a...CHOKE. HOOOOLD. even if it huuurts meee, even if I can't sleep. show me the waaaaaaaaayyyyy" - Chokehold, Sleep Token. Mood for my Pedro Pascal era

Summary: It seems the only way to get Javier to talk about his feelings is by having the person he cares about having a near death experience. Not the most healthy way to confess your feelings for someone, but hey, it works.

Warnings: unrequited but not actually unrequited love, inaccurate descriptions of how the DEA operates, Javier needs a therapist, bad wingman Steve, character study ish? that's mostly in Javi's POV, gun wounds and violence, hurt/comfort, whump, kinda forced proximity, eventual fluff, sexual refences but no smut this time (shocker, right?)

word count | 7.7k🤙🏻

Javier’s team had found out where one of Escobar’s men was. This was huge. If he and his team could catch him, get him to flip on his boss; he could snag the man that week.

The whole building was hustling and running around, preparing to go after this guy as soon as possible, just as soon as they got word everybody was in position. Javier’s nerves threatened to overflow, just the thought of being one step closer to catching Pablo Escobar and taking down his cartel after evading justice again and again, his body was set ablaze and his fingers twitched with excitement.

There was just one problem.

As Javier was putting on his bulletproof vest, from across the office, you caught his eye. That wasn’t abnormal in the slightest, you had always unknowingly begged for the attention of Javier’s gaze ever since he met you years ago; but this time, seeing you put an unwanted pit in his stomach. To everyone else, you looked normal, getting ready for this upcoming battle like the rest of the people on this mission. But all Javier saw was you preparing to meet your demise.

Javier wasn’t normally so nervous about things like this. In this line of work, people get hurt, some even die, that’s just what happens unfortunately. But the thought of it possibly happening to you didn’t sit right with him at all. If it was his call to make, he’d make you stay here away from all the action. You wouldn’t be in a ten mile radius of a single cartel member. But of course, that wasn’t his call to make, all he had was his convincing charm and his history with you to get you to even consider sitting out. Before thinking about it any longer, Javier started taking the steps it took to make it to your desk, the one that was always just a couple feet away from his but somehow always felt too far.

From the reluctant expression on your face as you looked up at him, Javier could already tell this conversation isn’t going to go the way he wants it to, as most conversations with you; but it was too late to back out now. “Almost ready, Peña?” Peña, always fuckin’ Peña. You made a point never to call him anything other than his last name. Though, he couldn’t blame you, not after everything he’s done to you. But it still made a tiny dagger go through his heart every time you refused to call him Javi. 

You clearing your throat awkwardly made Javier suddenly aware of how creepy he was being, just staring at you, lost in his own thoughts. He cleared his own throat to avoid any possible voice cracks or stutters before finally responding to your very simple question. “I am.”

You raised an eyebrow, a look of amusement gracing your features which Javier always found adorable and would’ve still thought that if it wasn’t for how goddamn humiliating it was to have that expression directed at his being an idiot. “That’s it? You walked over here to tell me you’re ready?” A ghost of a smirk played at your lips, your very kissable lips.

Fuck, Javi, be professional. “No.” He stuttered briefly. “No.”

“Just out with it, man, we don’t have all day.”

Javier sighed in annoyance, placing his hands on his hips and looking down at you with a frown. “Look…, we all know how dangerous this guy is-”

You scoffed, already shaking your head. “No, no, no-”

“So, I was thinking you’d be of more use here. Hold down the fort while we try to bring this guy in.” He tried to keep his heartbeat under control as you stood up from your sitting position on the top of your desk, standing at your full height, obviously trying to come off as a bit intimidating; but you weren’t, not in that way, at least. Javier was more afraid of what was about to come out of your mouth.

“Will you be staying here?” You asked, looking him straight in the eyes; he could practically see all the obscenities floating around in your head that desperately wanted to come out, but couldn’t as to be somewhat professional.

Javier sighed quietly. “No, obviously not.”

“Why not?” You shrugged nonchalantly. “If this guy is so dangerous, you should stay here too. With me. Right?”

Ignoring the butterflies swirling around in his stomach as with me kept repeating over and over in his head, he grit his teeth to mask his expression into subtle anger. “It’s different.”

You crossed your arms and leaned against your desk. “Okay, Peña, give me one good reason why I shouldn’t go on this mission.”

Peña, his thoughts screamed at him. You used to call him Javi. Because I can’t bear the thought of losing you… “Because you’d be a liability. You’d only get in the way, and we can’t afford that right now.”

“Remind me, who was one of the first women to ever get assigned this case?” You asked, trying not to sound smug as everyone in this office knew the answer to that question.

“You were…” He replied with a scowl, his words sounded pained like they were being ripped out of him.

“Exactly. So, there’s no way in hell you’re gonna keep me from trying to catch this motherfucker. Okay? I can take care of myself.” You shoved your pointer finger directly on his chest, pushing him back a tiny bit.

Javier tried to ignore Steve’s shit eating grin as he walked back over to his desk dejectedly. That fuckin’ asshole. “Shoot. I’m surprised you ain’t dead as a doornail, with the way she’s lookin’ at ya.” Steve started as soon as Javier sat back down in his creaky old chair, massaging his temples from the oncoming headache that was surely going to feel like he was being bludgeoned with a hammer. “What did you do this time, Peña?”

Javier scowled and rolled his eyes, pouring himself a drink. “I just told her, I think she’d be better off staying away from the front lines.”

Steve snorted obnoxiously. “And what? You think she’d stay here? God, Peña, you really ain’t yourself when you’re smitten.”

Javier resisted the urge to throw his glass of whiskey right at Steve’s hillbilly face. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Dude, you wanna get in her pants do bad it makes you look stupid. And makes you act even stupider, no offense.”

“Offense taken. Asshole.” He growled. “And I’m not smitten. It’s just…this mission is dangerous.”

“She’s a big girl, Javi. She can take care of herself. I’m sure she told ya as much after chewing you out.” More like tearing me apart into itty bitty pieces until I was nothing but ground fuckin’ dust. “You know what you need, Javi?” Oh, this should be good. “A therapist. I’ve recently been seeing one and man, let me tell ya, there’s stuff I’ve learned about myself that I didn’t even know.” Javier laughed. Like, really laughed. “I’m serious, man. Might help you figure out those commitment issues.”

“I already have a therapist.”

Now it was Steve’s turn to laugh. “Oh, yeah? Who?” Steve’s amused grin quickly turned into an annoyed grimace as Javier held up his bottle of whiskey that read: Jack Daniels.

Nah, Javier didn’t need a goddamn therapist. He was just fine…

He was, in fact, not fine.

Javier couldn’t stop the nervous twitch in his hands as everyone filed out of the office as soon as one of their undercover officers finally gave the signal that the cartel member was in place, rushing to the trucks to get to the place in town as soon as possible. He gave one last glance over to you as you got into a different truck that was going to be part of the surrounding force to make sure the member couldn’t escape. Honestly, Javier would’ve felt better if you were on his team instead, but things just didn’t work out that way. You’d be fine…you were going to be fine.

The drive over felt like forever when in reality it was probably around a few minutes. Javier knew he never should’ve talked to you before this mission, conversations with you always put him on edge, for various reasons. But he also knew he’d curse himself later if he didn’t try to talk you out of it once. Now, he couldn’t stop thinking about all the possible outcomes of this attempted arrest. What would happen if they fail? What would happen if this cartel member had a machine gun on him? What would happen if, god forbid, you get shot and killed? Would Javi be able to live with himself?

God, I’m so fucking stupid.

Javier couldn’t escape the onslaught of memories that flashed through his mind, each one causing a heat to rise to his face and guilt chew at him from the inside out. 

It was only several months ago that you confessed your attraction to him. The office was celebrating a recent successful mission and people were drinking. You had gotten drunk, Javier being a little buzzed. You both did teasing dances around each other ever since you met, but Javier never thought you’d want to take things further. But with a few shots loosening your tongue, you told Javi that you really liked him. You loved dancing, but your legs were threatening to give out in exhaustion if Javi kept spinning you around in his little tango. You were gorgeous, of course, but Javier didn’t really know what to say and you noticed that. For a drunk person, you were very astute.

It’s not that Javier wasn’t attracted to you, he was, very much so. He enjoyed your company, he loved the back and forth that seemed to come so naturally to the two of you, he could actually imagine dating you and maybe even more. But Javier didn’t date, not anymore. He fucked. He had one night stands. He didn’t have time for dating. He didn’t have commitment issues, he was just…okay, he was afraid. Javier wasn’t afraid of much. He was a DEA agent, he got shot at on a regular basis, putting his life on the line every day to keep drugs off the streets. And yet, somehow, you managed to be the one thing he’s scared of the most and he can’t even tell you why.

Your face when he turned you down would be forever etched into his mind. It wasn’t even noticeable, it was a split second of sadness crossing your features that he almost missed it. But he didn’t. Every smile you ever gave him, your flustered expression whenever he flirted with you a bit too hard, all burned away by that one subtle despondent look. It sobered you up pretty quickly. You said you didn’t take it to heart, that you understood and apologizing if you made things awkward. He was your carpool that night, so the ride home was…tense, to put it lightly. You lived in the same apartment building, hence the carpool, but you lived a floor up. Javier thought about walking you to your apartment, like he usually would do just to spend that extra time with you when he didn’t have to, but he just couldn’t. Little by little, that mask of nonchalant withered away as you got more tired, unable or just unwilling to keep up the façade. Javi couldn’t look at you anymore, not if he wanted his heart to stay intact. His friendship with you would never be the same after that night. 

He fucked up. He really fucked up. But he thought it was the best response at the time. He couldn’t get into any type of relationship, much less with a coworker. How unprofessional is that? How stupid would he be, in this line of work, to potentially put a target on your back by being someone he cares about? But of course, the way you slowly distanced yourself from him after his rejection made the wall he built around his heart melt away like acid and he couldn’t stop himself from caring about you even if he tried. And try, he did. He kept telling himself it was for the best. Even when you stopped carpooling with him to work, he tried not to care. Every time he felt jealous when he noticed someone else flirting with you, he told himself coworkers don’t feel the urge to put thirteen bullets into another person’s skull just by smiling at you. Because that’s all you were and would ever be: a coworker.

A coworker.

A coworker.

But coworkers can care about each other’s well being and want what’s best for them though, right?

…fuck.

Javier was losing it. He was fuckin’ losing it, and at a time like this? When he was about to try to catch a highly dangerous criminal? At a time where he was being counted on? No. He couldn’t think about you now. He cleared his mind. All images of your face were being shot out of his brain by a M16 assault rifle, just in time for the trucks to arrive at their destination.

The cartel member tried his best to escape, shooting plenty of rounds at every officer and agent that came into view. But it was proven all for nothing, for him and the police. The motherfucker shot himself before they could arrest him. Of course. They could never catch a fuckin’ break, could they?

Everyone was in low spirits, some now spiritless. To think, being in this field for so long that Javier might get used to seeing the dead bodies. To a point, but he couldn’t help but frown when he saw the lifeless faces of people he knew, people he worked with. Hijo de puta, Javier wishes that cartel member was still alive so he could torture information out of him himself. He’d get over it, same as everyone else. But Javier found himself a secret weapon that always made him feel better after a mission went wrong, he’d just look at you, safe, and all stress would leave him in that moment to know that you made it out alive at least. It was so secret that Javi didn’t even know he did that, not until he tried searching for you after the dust cleared and everything settled down a little bit. Steve was with you, so you’d be easy to find. All he had to do was look for a bright blonde redneck sore thumb.

Javier’s frown deepened when he found Steve, only to not find you standing with him. The look on Steve’s face as he saw Javi coming didn’t bode well either. Where were you? “Javi.” Steve acknowledged in a soft voice…way too soft.

Javier looked around before fixing his gaze on Steve’s downcast expression. He was just upset about the mission failing, right? “Where is she?” He didn’t even have to say your name, anyone who knew Javier would immediately know who he was talking about. Steve sighed heavily, unable to meet his gaze. Javier burst like a dam, scowling and enraged, pulling Steve to him by his collar roughly. “Where is she?” He yelled, forcing the man to make eye contact with him.

“Javi, Javi, calm down.” Steve pleaded, placing his hands on his shoulders to try and soothe him. “She got shot, but she’s gonna be fine. Okay? She’s on her way to the hospital right now.”

Javier’s heart jumped into his throat, making his next words come out shaky and desperate. “Drive me there. Now.”

“But Javi, we gotta-”

“Now!” There was no arguing with Javier whenever he got this way, this angry, this violent. Steve would’ve had better luck fighting a bear.

Javier almost punched Steve when he kept giving him worried glances as he drove. Javi could not keep still. His hands were twitching, his leg was bouncing, he bit the dead skin on his fingertips, and when he started biting the not so dead flesh, he moved on to his lips, which wasn’t much better. It didn’t take but a minute until he tasted copper spreading across his tongue. Anything, he was doing anything to keep himself from screaming, resorting to pulling at his hair. No, there was no way you were leaving him like this. Steve said you’d be fine, but Javi didn’t even know where you got shot, he didn’t know how deep the bullet wounds were or if you were already being treated in the ambulance. He didn’t fucking know. God, please, he just wants to hear you call him Javi again. He doesn’t even care if you say it how you say his last name, full of annoyance and resentment, it doesn't matter anymore. Nothing matters until he sees you alive in a hospital bed.

Upon arriving at the hospital, Steve all but had to hold Javier back as he tried to check in, the impatient attitude and short fuse threatening to get them kicked out. Besides, it’s not like they could visit you now, you were still in surgery and it would take another hour or so before you’d get out. Javier could tell Steve just wanted to yell at him, say some stupid phrase like “hold your darn tootin’ horses” or some bullshit like that. Javier didn’t want to wait, he wanted to see you. He didn’t want to sit in some uncomfortable plastic chair for an hour not knowing if you were okay or not. So he stood, and he paced. He paced and paced until his legs started to wobble. He would stay here, he would stay all night if he had to. There was no way he was going home without seeing you. But in actuality, he wouldn’t have to wait that long.

It was only an hour and some change until the doctor finally came out into the waiting room, Javier and Steve shooting up from their chairs instantly. “She’s okay. The bullet didn’t go too deep into the abdomen and we managed to remove it without doing any more damage. We’ll keep her here for about a week and then we can send her home if there aren’t any more complications. She’s still under anesthesia but it’s wearing off now, so she should be awake soon. We’ll let you know when she’s ready to see you.”

“We can’t see her now?” Javier almost growled, causing Steve to place his hand on his shoulder before turning to the, quite frankly, startled doctor.

“Thank you, sir.”

“Such bullshit.” Javi grumbled under his breath, sitting down in the same seat, not even standing up long enough before his ass stopped tingling from being numb. His back hurt like a bitch, and his joints felt all stiff. God, he hated hospitals. 

“Don’t worry, Javs, you’ll be able to see your girlfriend soon.”

“Shut the fuck up, Murphy. She’s not my fuckin’ girlfriend.”

Steve wasn’t phased by his hostility, only shrugging with a smirk. “But you want her to be.”

Javier groaned, running his hands over his face as his headache came back in full force. “Now, Murphy? You wanna have this conversation now?”

“If not now, when?”

“Never.”

“Exactly.” Javier rolled his eyes, wringing his hands together and avoiding eye contact with the other man. “You like her, man. It’s nothing to be ashamed about. You know, before I met Connie, I never thought I wanted a girlfriend either, much less a wife. I thought I’d be…tied down, I guess. I wanted the freedom to do whatever I wanted. But now…I can’t imagine life without her.”

I already can’t imagine a life without her… “She’s our coworker.”

“Hey, you can’t help who you fall in love with, man.” Javier cringed at the word love. He wasn’t in love with you. Yeah, keep telling yourself that, pendejo, his inner thoughts told him. “As far as I can tell, and I do have better vision than you, I think she feels the same way.” Oh, buddy, you have no idea. “I say go for it. We get this extremely short life once, a chance of it being even shorter in our line of work, you can’t take things for granted and you can’t risk missing out on something that can be beautiful.”

Javier looked over at Steve with a raised brow. “Getting wifed up has made you way more sentimental, man.”

Steve shrugged. “But you know it’s true.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

“You know what, this conversation is making me miss my wife. Let me know how this whole thing goes, okay? Seriously. I care about her too.” And with that, Steve took off, leaving Javier alone with his thoughts, along with the occasional cough or sneeze from other waiting room patients. But other than that, deadly silent. One of the things Javi hates most about hospitals. The silence. The people waiting to hear if their loved ones have survived or not, or waiting to see if they live or die themselves. It reeked of death and he thought: you don’t belong here. You’d never belong here. This place isn’t lively enough for your standards. You shined most working with other people, making others feel at ease with your attitude, caring and compassionate, one of the reasons you even got into this job in the first place. You cared about what happened to people, and you wanted the best for everyone. Maybe that’s why Javier was so drawn to you, ever the pessimist, your light was like a breath of fresh air. Being in the DEA hardened him as a person, seeing the worst in people almost on a daily basis, it can make a person jaded. But you never let the stuff you see change who you were; you still loved, you still cared, you still tried to find the fun in any situation and Javi admired you for that, not that he’d ever admit it.

“She’s ready to see you now.” The doctor’s voice knocked Javier out of his thoughts, his reminiscence being replaced by nervous eagerness.

It was only then, a few steps away from entering your hospital room, that Javier realized he was still clad in his bulletproof vest. He hadn’t gone home to wash off the light splatters of blood or his sweat coated body, and his hair was a tousled bird’s nest. He surely looked like a hot mess. But then he started to wonder when he ever got nervous about his appearance. Jesus, you really fucked him up. He couldn’t help but fix his hair a little before entering your room, hopefully managing to pat down some wild curls. But the smile on your face as he finally came into view told him he didn’t look as bad as he thought. That smile also pierced right through his hardened exterior, a breath of relief when he saw that you were okay.

“Hey, stranger.” You spoke lazily, clearly still a little loopy from the anesthesia.

Javier took a seat next to your bed, looking you over and frowning when he saw all the tubes attached to you. You could’ve lost her…

“Where’s Steve? The doctor said he was with you?”

She’s asking about Murphy when I’m right here? “Oh, he uh, went home, to make sure Connie knows he’s okay. He did want to see you though.”

“Yeah, I believe it. You should’ve seen the look on his face when that bullet got me. I’ve never seen him so scared shitless.” You chuckled. Again, always finding humor in a situation even when you literally got shot. It almost infuriated him, but the mental image of Steve freaking out did make him smirk a little.

“How are you feeling?”

You shrugged. “Tired. No, I'm exhausted. Who knew getting shot would make you wanna sleep for a week?”

“Are you hurting at all?”

“Just a little sore. They’ve got me on a shitload of painkillers right now, so I’m unlikely to feel anything at the moment. Embarrassment, however, I do feel.”

Javier furrowed his brows. “Why would you ever feel embarrassed? You got fuckin’ shot.”

“Exactly. I told you I could take care of myself and yet, here I am.” You huffed. “I never thought this would happen to me. I guess…I just got too comfortable.”

Before he could stop himself, Javier reached out to place his hand over yours, almost gasping when he felt how cold your skin was. “Hey, don’t be embarrassed, okay? You’re alive, that’s all that matters. Some of us don’t get so lucky. I’m relieved.”

He didn’t miss the subtle flustered expression on your face. “Oh…so, you’re not gonna say I told you so?” You smiled weakly.

Javier grinned. “Well, I can’t exactly say that when you’re laying in a hospital bed.”

“Eh, you could. You’d just be a massive asshole. But then again, you already are.” He knew it was just a joke, but it was true. He was an asshole, especially to you. Maybe it was the medication you were on, but he had no idea why you were being so friendly to him. If he were rejected by someone he likes, then that person proceeded to talk down to him when they were annoyed, he’d have little kind words to say. In fact, he was surprised you weren’t currently punching him in the face. You frowned, and Javier wanted to curse himself for giving his feelings away. “I’m sorry.”

He shook his head. “No, you have nothing to be sorry for. I’m the one who’s-”

“Visiting hours are over.” A nurse interrupted, rather rudely.

You both frowned. Javier nodded to the nurse as he reluctantly let go of your hand, giving you a double take at the door, imprinting the image of you weakly waving goodbye with a small smile on your face to memory so he had something to hold onto before the next visit.

The week went by way too slow. Not even a week. You were recovering really well, so the doctors cleared you to go home sooner than expected. Javier found himself being anxious all the time, even at home after work was over. He drank a bit more than usual, until Steve came over one night and saw the state of his apartment and quickly intervened. He’d never admit this, but Javier was thankful for his partner. He was a good man, he supposed that’s why he made such a good DEA agent.

Javier had implicitly volunteered to be the one to look out for you when you were allowed back home, since you two lived in the same apartment building. Couldn’t really have been anyone else, and he wanted to. He wasn’t there for you when you got shot, but he sure as hell could be there when you recovered. Though, after a long conversation, you both decided it would be best that you stayed in his apartment until you could walk around on your own. The doctor had put you on a strict bedrest regime, to make sure you didn’t tear any stitching and reopen the wound. You lived alone, so staying with Javier just seemed like the most logical choice. Though, it put him in a near stupor.

Javier never cleaned so much in his life. He wanted everything to be perfect, nothing out of place and he’d be damned if there was even one speck of dust on any surface. It only increased his anxiety to the point he almost considered punching a hole into his wall. It’d be okay, he told himself, you were just staying until you could walk. That wouldn’t take that long. Yeah, he could do this. He could be professional while being in close proximity with you for more than the usual work hours. You’re fucked, man.

Steve helped drop you off at your apartments after picking you up from the hospital. Javier quickly put out the cigarette he was smoking as he heard the knock on the door, opening it to see you in a wheelchair with Steve behind you. “Someone order a damaged DEA agent?” He joked, only to get a slap on the arm from you. “Bad joke, sorry.” He coughed nervously, Javier stepping away so he could push the wheelchair inside. “Anyway, take real good care of her now.” He winked, earning a glare from Javier. “Alright, I’ll be going now.”

“Idiot…” Javier mumbled, earning a quiet giggle from you. Thankfully, Javier had a spare bedroom that he never used. He mostly used it as a storage room but cleaned it up a little and bought an extra mattress to use for the time being, while he insisted you stay in his own bedroom. “Sorry, it’s not much.” He spoke as he helped you to his bed.

“Don’t worry, it’s great.” You huffed as you laid yourself down, a small wince on your face. The doctor had been weaning you off the pain meds, so you weren’t the most comfortable. “Thanks again for letting me stay here until I get my bearings. I really appreciate it.”

Javier shook his head. “No problem. Just, uh, let me know if you need anything.”

“Thank you…Javi.” You spoke softly as he turned to exit the room.

He almost ran into the door as soon as you said that, his heart fluttering inside his ribcage. He closed his eyes briefly to just savor the sound of your voice when you finally said his first name, finally after so long. He knew it was just out of appreciation, but he could take the little victories. He stiffly nodded before closing the door on his way out, letting out a sharp exhale when he got to his living room. How was he going to survive you staying with him for a couple weeks when he gets flustered within just a couple minutes around you in general? He hated to admit, but Steve was right. 

Javi was fuckin’ smitten.

With this newfound acceptance, Javier found himself just standing at the island in his kitchen doing nothing but blankly staring into space. You were here. You were safe. You were just in the other room. And yet, Javier was itching to go back and make sure you were doing alright, even though, logically, he knew you were probably just sleeping. He noticed the dark circles under your eyes and figured it was difficult trying to find any sort of peace inside a hospital. He knew he wouldn’t, but then again, he always had trouble sleeping. Even more so after you got shot.

For the first time in a while, the nightmares he was plagued with actually got to him. It wasn’t like all the other times he was shot or stabbed, betraying his own department, or Pablo always managing to escape when he was just within reach (although, that was more reality bleeding into his dreams). He almost always saw the dead bodies of the people he’s killed, especially the innocent ones. But then he started to see you.

It was always the same. You were calling out for Javier, begging for help. He ran to you, but it was like he was trying to run through mud or quicksand. He tried so hard to get to you before you were shot, but he was always too late. As soon as he reached you, you were already dying in his arms. Over and over again. To think those dreams would’ve stopped once you were home from the hospital, but nope. He went to sleep that night waking up in a similar cold sweat and racing heart. He almost couldn’t bear to look at you, guilt eating away at him even though it wasn’t his fault. He absolutely hated the fact he still had to go into work. This mission was put on hold for no one, not even you.

He was always anxious at work, to the point everyone noticed. He still did his job, but his eyes were vacant and it seemed anything he did was just instinct. He just kept thinking what if you needed him and he wasn’t there to help you? It didn’t bother Javier that everything figured out his affection for you, it was bound to happen sooner or later. He just hoped it didn’t get back to you before he could tell you himself.

But after he came home, he went back to his old behaviors. It’s true what people say: habits die hard. He did attempt to act more warm and accommodating, for both your sakes. But he made sure to never cross that line of professionalism. He didn’t want to make you uncomfortable or be forced into a situation when you were practically still dependent on him to move around. He didn’t want to cross any unspoken boundary. No, he’d keep his feelings to himself a bit longer. After you can walk on your own, or maybe even after you come back to work…or maybe when the mission is over and Pablo is dead or behind bars.

But after another gruesome nightmare, Javier got into the habit of peeking into your (his) bedroom. Just to make sure you were still there. Even when his nightmares mellowed out, he still did it. He even started to sit by your bed and just watch you sleep peacefully. God, he felt like such a creep. And what was it he said about boundaries?

Javier thought he’d just stay quiet, pretend like he never memorized every part of your face as you slept. Like how he noticed your nose twitched like a bunny sometimes, or how your lips pulled into a tiny and almost unnoticeable smile. But of course, he couldn’t do that forever. You started to be able to move around on your own, albeit extremely carefully. But still, that just meant you could go back to your own apartment soon…

Javier had a really bad dream that night after seeing you take baby steps into the living room, a giant smile on your face as you finally were able to do things yourself. And of course, it was the same exact dream. He went to your bedroom right after, anxious to see your peacefully sleeping form that would instantly calm him, only to find you whimpering and slightly stirring in your sleep. Ah, so he wasn’t the only one plagued by nightmares.

He thought about leaving you alone, letting you wake up on your own, but when he heard you whispering mumbled “nos” and “stops” with tears trailing down your cheeks, he couldn’t just let you suffer.

After a brief moment of hesitation, Javier slowly sat down next to you, brushing a hand over your cheek delicately, the action only slightly stirring you. “Hey, sweetheart.” Fuck, the name just came out naturally. He’s so glad that it didn’t wake you. He called your name, gently shaking your shoulder until you shot up with wide eyes, winding back your fist to punch him before he caught it. “Hey, hey, it’s me. It’s me.”

You slowly relaxed, bringing your hands down with an exhale. “Javi…” You whispered his name like a prayer, like you almost couldn’t believe he was actually there with you.

“Must’ve been some nightmare.” Javier guessed, and you winced.

“Was…was I loud?”

“You were crying in your sleep…” He didn’t really answer your question, it was true, but Javier never would’ve heard you if he wasn’t creeping around your room in the first place.

“Oh god, I’m sorry. I usually don’t get nightmares like this.”

“What were you dreaming about?” Javier could’ve probably guessed, and from the expression on your face when you looked at him, he was right.

“I haven’t had nightmares about it before. Not even the nights right after. I don’t know.” You shrugged. “I guess…my theory, now that I can walk around without tearing myself apart, I guess that means I can go back to my apartment. And I'm glad I’m better. It’s just, you’ve been so kind and made me feel safe here, and the thought of having to live all alone again, even if I know you’re just downstairs…” You shook your head, curling in on yourself in embarrassment.

“Then…you can stay here a bit longer.” That felt like a confession, to Javier anyway. And he almost regretted saying it until…

“Oh, no, I wouldn’t do that to you. I know you’ve been counting down the days until I could handle walking myself again.”

Javi furrowed his brows, his heart dropping to his stomach. “What? I haven’t-”

“I’ve made things awkward, Javi. I know that. I know I haven’t been handling that whole rejection thing very well, but I’m trying, okay? I really am trying.” You sighed. “I never should’ve told you then, but I figured, you can get over a person a lot quicker if you just confessed early on. I’m sorry but, it hasn’t been working much. That’s not your fault, of course, it’s my problem. Living with you these past couple weeks have not made it any easier though.” You chuckled bitterly, wiping away a few shed tears as soon as they fell over your cheeks, making Javier’s heart clench painfully. “God, I’m such an idiot.” You whispered to yourself.

Javier exhaled shakily, turning away from you, looking down at the floor. “You remember back at the hospital, you called me an asshole?”

“It was a joke, and I apologized, Peña.”

Javier winced at the sound of his last name. No. No, no, no, he was not going to go through this. Not again. Just swallow your pride for once, man. “I didn’t get to finish what I was gonna say back then, 'cause that bitch nurse told me I had to leave.” He growled.

You chuckled weakly. “And what were you going to say?”

Now or never, right?

“I was gonna say you’re right. I am. An asshole. I’m the one who should be apologizing to you.”

You made a confused noise. “What’re you talking about?”

Goddamn it. “I’ve been an asshole to you since that night…”

You sighed. “You don’t have to explain yourself, Peña. I get it.”

“Please, just let me talk.” He begged, and Javier never begged. The pleading look in his eyes finally got you to shut your mouth. His heart was racing. He thought about taking a deep breath but he was just afraid it would turn into hyperventilating, so not helpful. “Sorry, I’m no good at this. Talking. Damn it…” He whispered. “Fuck it, I like you, alright?” He spat, sounding more angry than he meant.

“W-What?” You stuttered, suddenly sounding much more awake and sitting up against your pillows.

“You heard me.”

“I did, I just…” You shook your head. “I don’t understand. Are you saying this to…mess with me or something?”

“No. No, I’m not. I mean, I’m-” Javier groaned in frustration. He wasn’t used to this, he never really did this, talk about his emotions. He didn’t know it would be this hard. Man, maybe he did need a therapist. He flinched when you placed your hand on his shoulder, but you didn’t pull away.

“Hey, it’s okay, Javi.” You spoke softly when you noticed how on edge he was. “Calm down. Just take a deep breath.” He did as he was told, for once. Taking deep breaths while focusing on the heat radiating from you, using it to ground himself before he even tried talking again.

“When Steve told me you were shot…” He stuttered shakily, his voice betraying him. “I feared the worst. I thought…I thought there was a chance I’d never see you again.”

You frowned, your bottom lip trembling. “Oh, Javi, come here.” You pulled him to you, allowing his head to rest on your shoulder, gently running your hand through his hair while your other hand guided his hand to rest over the pulse point on your neck. “I’m safe. I’m alive. See? I’m not gonna be so reckless again, I promise.”

Javier closed his eyes, snuggling further onto your neck, breathing in your calming scent, spurring him to keep talking. “I thought that I didn’t want to be with anyone. I convinced myself that I don’t need anyone but me…then I got to know you and I started to realize, I’d rather give up this case than see you get hurt. That night you told me how you felt, I thought I was sparing you. But I was just afraid, a coward. The truth is…I fuckin’ need you.” From where his hand was laying on your neck, Javi could feel your pulse quicken. He called out your name in concern, more of hesitance. He finally lifted his head to look at you, immediately noticing the tears in your eyes but a bashful smile on your face.

Letting go of his restraint and not worrying about the consequences for once, Javier surged forward, capturing your lips with his. The little gasp that came from you was probably one of the cutest sounds he’s ever heard, besides your laugh. Your lips were so soft, moving against his languidly. He smiled into the kiss as he felt you rake your hands through his hair, bringing his body to yours as close as humanly possible. Javier wasn’t the best with words, but this he knew how to do. He tried to pour every single emotion he had for you into this kiss: adoration, care, frenzied lust, and maybe even love. The only reason he finally pulled away is because he heard you wince.

Oh, he’d pressed against you too hard and put some pressure on your stitching. Damn it, of course, your first kiss with her and you have to fuck it up somehow.

“I’m so sorry.” He spoke, panicked, wildly looking over your expression to make sure you weren’t in any more pain.

You shook your head with a grin, a mildly dazed gleam in your eyes. “You’re okay. You’re more than okay.”

“I got…a little carried away.” He blushed, having to forcefully put a little bit of distance between you. “God, I’ve thought about doing that for so long.” He admitted.

You smirked, trying to cover up your nervousness. “Did it live up to your expectations?”

More than you could ever know. 

“I probably should’ve asked this before I kissed you, but…do you wanna go out with me sometime?” He didn’t know why he sounded so nervous, like you’d ever say no, but he didn’t know that. His body untensed as you gave him the most bright smile he’d ever seen from you.

“Of course, Javi.” Javi, Javi, Javi. The beautiful sound repeated in his mind.

“Say my name again, please.” You leaned forward to kiss him again, repeating it after you broke apart. He never thought his name could sound more alluring than when you said it. God, he wanted to absolutely ravish you, but he’d never risk hurting you. He was a patient man, he could wait, however long you needed. He was already planning it in his mind. He wasn’t the most romantic, but rose petals did come into mind, making him chuckle to himself. “I guess I’ll…let you get back to sleep now.”

Javier moved to stand from your bed, but you stopped him by grabbing onto his wrist. “Would it be too much if I asked you to stay?” Your best puppy dog eyes were on full display, making his heart swell. He could never say no to that face.

“Mi tesoro…” Javi whispered as you both settled in for the rest of the night, him laying on his back while you leaned your head against his chest, a protective arm wrapped around you. Yeah, he could get used to this, especially with you. The both of you fell fast asleep pretty quickly. And what d’ya know? He didn’t have another nightmare after that.

You decided to stay at his apartment for a little while longer. Well, it was more of an insistence from Javier. He was almost always on you like a leech, but he never heard you complain. From the constant stream of giggles and smiles you threw his way, Javi was pretty sure you enjoyed his company. Now that the tension finally broke, it was back to how it used to be between you, only more intensified. That damned gunshot wound was the only wall between you, but that wall wound was broken soon enough. Of course, when that happened, you also had to get back to work, which you were missing greatly. You wanted to catch Escobar just as much as everyone else, so you were ecstatic to get back on the case.

Javier tried his best not to helicopter you around, he knew if someone was doing that to him he’d want to claw their eyes out. He gave you your space, but that anxiety came back in full force whenever they’d try to make an arrest. From then on, you were always right by Javier’s side whenever the guns had to come out. Maybe he was overprotective, but he didn’t care; he needed you safe.

It wasn’t really a shock to anyone that you and Javier got together. Some even made bets, which infuriated him. Steve was the worst about it, teasing Javi whenever he got the chance. At least no one teased you, not that anyone would be stupid enough to try.

As the team had gotten word about where one of Pablo’s men were hiding out, the station started to shift into that similar tension, much too similar to that day you were shot. Javier felt like he was going to have a panic attack. But at this point, you had been around each other so constantly that you developed a sort of sixth sense to whatever he was feeling. You didn’t hesitate to grab his hand, bringing it up so his palm could cup your cheek. “Hey, we’re gonna be fine.” Javier forced himself to nod. “You’ve got my back?”

He cracked a smile. “Of course I do, cariño.” 

Javier leaned down to kiss you passionately, taking you by surprise. PDA in the workplace wasn’t really strictly forbidden, but it was common courtesy not to lock lips with your partner. But Javi didn’t care, he needed you when he needed you. 

No one was going to take that away from him.  No one was going to take you away from him. Never again.

like i said...chokehold. he has too much power. someone save me.

[gorgonwrites]

bound to you, part 4

diluc x fem!reader

wc: 3, 155

author's note: alexa, play Take Me Back To Eden by Sleep Token

cw: 18+, MDNI!!! fem!reader, reader is an artist, oral (fem receiving), fingering, overstim, dacryphilia, body worship, edging, angst MAYBE if you squint, arranged marriage, tooth rotting sweetness bc diluc is a soft man and just wants to love you right

“And then I use orange here against the blue,” you made a quick swipe with your paintbrush, “See how it creates a highlight? The two colors contrast in such a way that it immediately brings your attention to this focal point.” your husband leans over your shoulder to look at the area of the canvas you were finishing. He had declined to paint with you, but he did insist on remaining in your presence for the rest of the afternoon. At first you weren’t sure you could tolerate his audience, but as time passed you both relaxed as he watched your brush dance across the canvas. 

“When did you start painting?” Diluc was directly behind you, bent over so he was speaking directly into your ear. Being so close to him sent a bolt of electricity through you, and you had to steady yourself for a moment before answering him.

“When I was small. I think I was 7 when my father bought me my first set of paints.” Remembering the day you received them made you smile. You had painted the most atrocious version of a cryo slime anyone had ever seen and paraded it around your home for days afterwards, convinced that it was the greatest thing to ever grace your family member’s eyes. 

“I was a little overconfident back then, but I was humbled quickly.” you laughed, “My parents sent me to painting classes and my teacher was ruthless. The first time she told me my skills were worthless, I cried for days.” 

Diluc frowned at the thought. If anyone but him dared to bring tears to your eyes- his thoughts came to a halt. Anyone but him. You were still talking but he didn’t hear a single word, too focused on imagining tears spilling down your face with your lips wrapped around his cock. Fuck. He could feel the growing bulge in his pants, and he was in no position to readjust himself. 

“Y/n, I just remembered I have something that needs taking care of-” he began to retreat, trying to escape to the privacy of his own chambers. Your arm shot out quickly and silenced him before he could finish speaking. You reached up and cupped his cheek with your palm, holding his gaze. Diluc slowly reached up and covered your hand with his own, his bulging cock completely forgotten. 

“Are you unwell?” you asked quietly, surprised by the courage suddenly coursing through your veins. You brushed your thumb across your husband’s bottom lip, his eyes widening in response. 

“I am very well, I assure you.” he breathed. Your hands were so warm on his skin. “I have one more thing regarding the winery that requires my attention. Once you’re finished here, have Addy help you bring your things inside.” You began to pout. “This is the last thing I have to do for the next few weeks, I promise.” 

“Words mean very little to me, Diluc. How do you intend to comfort your lonely wife?” His response was a wicked smile, and he took your hand from his cheek only to hold it gently in both of his own. 

“I think you’ll find I can be very comforting if given the chance, angel.” a pang shot through your heart. He continued, “Your hands are warm today.”

“I- I haven’t used my vision to cool myself since you’ve kept me company this afternoon.” You gasped as he brought your hand to his lips, brushing them over each of your fingers. He then looked at you with a stern expression on his face. 

“Don’t do that anymore. I mean it.” Diluc wanted to know all of you, and you continuing to hide  a core part of yourself every time you were in his presence was beginning to weigh on him. 

“But the other day my hands were too cold and you withdrew from me, I was being careless, I-” you were speaking rapidly, barely louder than a whisper. You stopped suddenly when he pressed a soft kiss to the back of your hand. 

“I didn’t withdraw because your hands were cold. I withdrew because it was the first time you reached out to me and I was surprised.” He looked up at you and smiled again. “You think too much, has anyone ever told you that?” It was true that Diluc didn’t like the cold. He didn’t enjoy when snow covered the rolling hills of Mondstadt, he didn’t like cold drinks on a hot day, and he didn’t like even thinking about joining his staff as they jumped into the cold rivers that flowed down from Dragonspine. But he could deny you nothing, and if that meant overcoming this small hurdle, so be it. Your fingers suddenly felt icy in his hand, and goosebumps broke out across his skin. 

“Maybe this will be the first time I decide to do as you ask for a change.” you giggled mischievously, and Diluc rolled his eyes. You were also a brat he was learning, but he’d never say that out loud. 

You were finished for the day shortly after your husband left you. You were reeling from your exchange with him, and your arousal was almost tangible as you gathered your things. Adelinde came out to greet you, and helped you carry everything back to the manor. The two of you were in the library adjusting your painting above the mantle before you finally spoke. 

“How long has Diluc been calling you Addy?” you were curious. He’d never referred to Adelinde by the nickname in front of you before, and you found it incredibly endearing.

“So he finally let that one slip, did he?” Adelinde laughed, “He’s been saying that since the day I arrived at the manor. He was still very young, and I don’t think he could quite manage my full name at the time. Addy has stuck ever since.” The thought made you snicker. Of course he would adopt his own name for her rather than ever admitting that there was a time when he was incapable of pronouncing her name. You both continued to adjust and readjust the painting, careful not to smear any of the drying paint. 

“He worries about you, you know.” Adelinde said absently as she worked with you to finally move the canvas in place. “You’re all he has.” You looked at her, confused. 

“I didn’t think I did that much to cause him to fret over me.” Yes, you liked to push what you could and could not do, mostly because you hated the feeling of being caged like a bird. His requests were always simple things- don’t venture off of the winery grounds when he was away, no housework, no fieldwork, and no going out after the sun set each evening. 

“The young master has grown up in a difficult world, my Lady. Forgive him for being a cautious man.” you knew nothing of what Adelinde referred to. Your curiosity was eating at you though, and you wanted more information on your ever elusive husband.

“What do you mean?” 

Adelinde just sighed in response, shaking her head. If you really want to know, you have to go ask him yourself. You huffed out a breath in response, and instead turned your attention to the painting freshly mounted over the mantle. Courage, you thought to yourself. I just need ten seconds of courage. 

You paced back and forth at the foot of your bed, unable to make up your mind. You had bathed and now wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and hide from the thoughts whirling in your mind. After your interaction with Diluc earlier, your arousal had continued to grow throughout the evening and it was now almost unbearable. More than that, your curiosity was starting to spill over about your husband’s life before you married him. You needed to know every detail he was willing to share. You’d been walking around your room for ages, and the moon was high in the sky. He probably wasn’t even awake. 

I’ll go to his door, knock, and if he doesn’t answer I’ll come back and pretend it never happened. It took several times of you repeating the thought in your head before you were finally convinced to venture out into the hall. You slowly and carefully made your way through the dark to Diluc’s door, your breathing starting to quicken. You lifted your hand and lightly knocked, half hoping that it was too quiet for him to hear. After a few moments you began to turn away, relieved. Your chest tightened when you heard the lock on Diluc’s door click, and light from his room spilled into the hallway. You froze in place, immediately regretting your decision to come see him. 

You could tell from the wild expression on his face that he wasn’t expecting to see you. He was shirtless, and his hair cascaded over his shoulders. There was a hint of a flush on his chest, and you couldn’t help but wonder what he had been doing before he opened the door. Heat began to gather between your thighs at the thought.

“Y/n? Are you well?” He looked worried, pushing his hair out of his face. Grabbing your hand, he gently pulled you into his room and shut the door behind you. Your eyes raked over every inch of your husband, quickly forgetting your bubbling curiosity from earlier. 

“Very well,” you rasped. Courage, you reminded yourself. You closed the gap between your bodies, placing your hands on his bare chest. You could feel his body tense under your touch. Craning your neck, you leaned into him to whisper into his ear. “I came to remind my husband that he left his wife lonely and wanting this afternoon.” 

His hands were on you instantly. He firmly held the small of your back, pressing you closer to him. He took your chin in his other hand, forcing you to look up to him and hold his gaze. His breathing was shaky, and his eyes searched your face for any signs that you wanted him to let you go. After a few moments he was satisfied, and he spoke. 

“And what would my wife have me do to correct such a transgression?” his eyes had a feral look you had never seen before. You snaked your arms around his neck and grabbed a fist full of his hair, pulling his head back to give you access to his neck. He whined as you planted several soft kisses there before you finally answered his question. 

“Ruin me.”

Before you knew what was happening, Diluc grabbed your hips and threw you over his shoulder. Without a word he turned and quickly made his way across his chambers, tossing you onto his bed. He lifted your nightdress off of you easily, exposing your naked body to the cool night air. You reached out for him, craving his touch. He stood between your legs where you sat on the edge of his bed, and held your face in his hands. His breathing was increasingly labored, and you could feel yourself start to shake from excitement. Your face was so close to his. After what felt like an eternity, he leaned down and took your lips in a crushing kiss. 

He kissed you like he was starving. His hands continued to wander, familiarizing himself with your body inch by inch. You bit his bottom lip, making him groan.

“Do that again and see what it gets you.” You most certainly would have, but he didn’t give you the chance. He quickly moved to your neck, biting and licking his way down to your chest. You leaned back, letting your husband explore your body. He took one of your nipples into his mouth, lightly grazing his teeth over it as he rolled your other nipple between his fingers. You brought a hand up to your mouth, trying to hide the moans spilling from your lips. His hand shot up and grabbed your wrist before intertwining his fingers with yours, bringing your hand away from your face. 

“I want to hear you, angel. You can’t hide from me anymore.” He continued teasing your nipples, and slowly made his way down until he was between your thighs. He spread your legs wide, pushing your knees towards your chest. You whined, feeling hopelessly exposed with your husband's mouth inches from your pussy. Kissing your inner thighs, he began to suck and bite lightly, leaving marks that only he would ever see. 

“Tell me you want me.” Diluc’s voice was demanding. You hoisted yourself onto your elbows so you could look at him. He had completely halted his actions, waiting for your response. You fell back, covering your eyes with your hands. You were suddenly feeling shy and your voice died in the back of your throat. Your husband moved upwards slightly, reaching for your face. You peeked through your fingers at him and he took your hand in his, bringing it to his lips. He kissed each of your fingers and then your palm before turning it over to plant a final kiss just above your knuckles.

“Tell me you want me, angel. Tell me how to love you- I’ll give you anything. Everything. I’ll give you all of me.” you felt tears pricking at your eyes as his words started to overwhelm you. 

“Gods, I want you Diluc, please-” you started to cry, “Take what is yours and make me come!” As soon as the words left your lips, his mouth was on your pussy. You were impossibly wet and your juices coated his tongue. He pushed your knees back to your chest again, giving him greater access to your core. He licked a long stripe from your pussy to your clit, and taking it between his lips he began to suck gently, flicking his tongue as he did. 

“Fuck!” you sobbed as he continued his relentless attacks on your now puffy and swollen clit. You could feel yourself close to your release, reaching down and grabbing Diluc’s hair, pushing him further into you. Just as you were about to fall over the edge, he stopped. 

“Not yet, angel.” He kissed your thighs and then began to make his way back up to your neck. You whined in frustration, infuriatingly close to coming undone. He peppered your chest and neck with kisses before meeting your lips again. Tasting yourself on his tongue felt wicked. You quickly pulled away, trying to push him back down between your legs. He resisted, and when you huffed in response, he grinned ear to ear.

“You’re a cruel man, Master Diluc.” you crossed your arms, trying desperately to seem angrier than you actually were. 

“Not cruel enough, it seems.” he growled in your ear, and suddenly plunged two fingers into your pussy. You gasped at the sudden intrusion, arching your back from the pleasure. You gripped his biceps and did everything you could not to scream. He slowed his fingers for a moment to let you catch your breath. 

“Like this?” he asked, moving his fingers in and out of your pussy messily, “Or like this?” he stilled his fingers, curling them up into the spongy spot inside of you. You choked as he began to stroke your clit with his thumb, and you could feel a familiar sensation building inside of you. 

“Like that, oh- please, Diluc!” you threw your arms around his neck as he pleasured you, finding his lips as fresh tears started to fall down your cheeks. 

“Give it to me, angel. Let go.” you felt a coil snap in your core and your vision went white, screaming your husband's name as you came on his fingers. He didn’t let up, and you began to writhe under him from the overstimulation. He was a greedy man, and he wanted everything from you. You felt the coil quickly tighten again and just as you came down from your first high, you fell apart for a second time, squirting all over Diluc’s hand. His movements slowed finally, and he gently pulled his fingers out of you. He brought them up to his mouth and sucked them clean of your essence, not wasting a single drop. You were completely out of breath, still holding onto your husband tightly. You were both sweaty, and he loosened your grip so he could sit up and pull you into his lap. You realized he was still clothed from the waist down, and wanting to return the favor you reached for his pants trying to remove them. He stopped you, and when you began to pout he couldn’t help but laugh. He got up and walked into the bathroom to begin drawing a hot bath for you. 

He walked back to the bed where you were still pouting, mumbling things he couldn’t quite make out. He leaned down, his hands on either side of your hips as he rested his forehead on your shoulder. You reached up and began running your fingers through his long hair, and your mumbling quieted as you began to pepper the top of his head with soft kisses. Steadying himself, he kissed your collarbone and then looked up at you. 

“That’s enough for tonight, angel. Let me clean you up.” He helped you to your feet, but your legs were too wobbly to walk after two back to back orgasms. You begrudgingly let him carry you to your bath, and afterwards you carefully put your nightdress back on. You found him sitting by his window, an open book on his chest as he began to doze. You lightly brushed your fingers across his cheek, earning you another smile. 

“Would you like to stay with me tonight?” he asked quietly, without opening his eyes. When you didn’t answer immediately, he frowned and peeked at you in  hopes of catching your expression. You had your hands on your hips, and let out an exasperated sigh. You sat on his lap and put your elbows on his chest, resting your chin in your hands. 

“Master Diluc asking his wife to stay overnight with him in his chamber? Hell must have frozen over!” you tried to sound sarcastic, but your giggling gave you away. Diluc quickly wrapped you in his arms and bombarded you with kisses, making you laugh even more as you tried to escape his grasp. 

“If Hell is frozen over,” he continued his relentless attack, “it was most definitely your doing.” He stilled and shuddered when you placed a cold hand on the back of his neck. You smiled, satisfied.

“Yes, I want to stay with you tonight. If you’ll have me.” Diluc suddenly stood up, bringing you with him. Holding you close, he kissed your forehead and laughed in response.

“Good, because I wasn’t going to let you leave.” 

[andrevasims]

TS2 Quality of Life Mods

idk what else to call them... Mods that make sims slightly less annoying to deal with, or slightly more self-sufficient, or tweaks that help reduce risks of corruption or otherwise avoid less than ideal problems/situations.

It’s not 100% comprehensive, just a list of mods I personally use or have used. Even then I have way more mods than this total, but I just wanted to focus on one specific aspect.

I intended this to be more like a personal archive than anything, so don’t take it as guarantee that every single one works together without conflict lol

SuperDuperHugTest (instantly removes Super Duper Hug Bug from any infected lot as soon as it’s loaded)

Mods by TwoJeffs

• Visitor Controller (you can allow/ban sims from a lot based on tons of things)

• ACR (Autonomous Casual Romance)

• Same Sex Marriage (no “Joined Union" for gay couples just “Married”)

• Stinky Dormies & Assignments Fix (dormies never shower or complete assignments because Do Assignment advertises Hygiene fulfillment??)

• Smart Beds (enforces bed ownership, but I don’t really use it because townies or sims you've never directed to Sleep will never autonomously sleep in a bed)

• Have-Adopt Child Want Fix (adopting a baby fulfills Have a Baby want & vice versa)

• Sim Blender (modify motives, skills, relationships, skills, personality... everything basically. also the fastest way to do the Good Genes Challenge because you can choose one sim to get pregnant by another sim and accelerate the pregnancy to only take 3 hours instead of 3 days)

• Preg for All Genders (AF sims can impregnate AF/AM sims, or AM sims can impregnate AM sims, stuff like that)

Mods by BoilingOil

• No Trash Memories (removes “Met [Sim]” and “Moved In/Out” memories so they don’t clog up the memory panel, also removes “Met Mystery Sim” memories from CAS sims so they can have a First Kiss with a real sim lol)

• No Sim Loaded (removes “Sim Loaded” tokens from sims, which apparently do nothing anyway, and whenever a lot is loaded it automatically clears/resets things that are otherwise broken or could possibly cause corruption, also suppresses the Super Duper Hug Bug so you don’t see it in the game)

• No Lecture Baby (stops sims from lecturing babies for being stinky)

• Less Toddler Annoyance (toddlers ask adults for stuff based on needs/skills)

Mods by Pescado

See this post and this post for mod descriptions/compatibility

• Batbox (clear gossip to reduce chances of corrupted memories, make sims stop doing the silly dance face if it gets stuck, delete all rain puddles, make dormies stuck as transparent from being in their room normal again, etc.)

• Stuck Object Remover (place it on a square to delete everything in that square if you can’t otherwise see/interact with whatever’s stuck there)

• No Unlinkage On Urnstone Delete (prevents shredded character files caused by deleting tombstones or when moving them to community lots)

• No Corrupted Death Memory (reduces the chances of seeing the corrupted memory that we all know as the “squiggly lines” - btw it’s a corrupted memory NOT a corrupted sim/hood. still not great, but also not the end of the world if you do end up seeing it)

• Creature Fixes (random fixes for supernatural behaviors/wants/appearances)

• AL Fixes (fixes related to things from AL that the EP broke or came broken lol)

• Vacation Fixes (fixes related to bugs from Bon Voyage)

• Anti-Redundancy (prevents tons of new NPCs being needlessly created)

• No SS Respawn (limits new townies being created to fill Uni Secret Societies)

• No Stray Respawns (prevents tons of stray dogs/cats being created)

• Garden Club Townie Fix (makes the game treat Garden Club members as townies, because it didn’t before, which prevents issues that may have caused)

• Door Jam Fix (fixes doors getting stuck open by a light or stair tile)

• Warmth Fixes (prevents zombies from getting frostbite or sims exercising indoors spontaneously combusting)

• Drama Professor & Met Self Fix (prevents useless memories related to the drama professor and “Met Self” from happening)

• Front Door Hack (the door a deliveryperson considers the “front” door makes more sense, instead of a garage or a door in the back of the house)

• Smarter Cashier (makes it faster to earn the Register talent badge, because apparently by default it otherwise takes 50 checkouts to get to Bronze)

• No Humble (Rod Humble doesn’t visit new families but you can buy his PC)

• No Eat Crap (sims stop eating when they’re full or if food spoils while eating)

• Anti-Foodnapping Hack (sims won’t fall asleep in their food if doing so would cause them to die of starvation)

• Less Whiny (sims whine less about “stupid things” - idk what that means but I’ve apparently been using this mod sooo yeah lol)

• Don’t Wave At Me (if sims are having a problem they just have the problem instead of yelling at you about it first)

• Anti-Weather Reactions (prevents reacting to weather from becoming a thing sims have to do immediately even when they’re doing other stuff or sleeping)

• No Servo “Do Chores” (removes autonomous “Do Chores” self interaction from servos)

• No Baby Harassment (stops sims from constantly interacting with babies, which is annoying because then babies never get a chance to sleep)

• No Route Fail (stops the complaining/yelling when sims are blocked by something, leaves only the thought bubble telling you what’s causing the blockage)

• Local Walkbys (walkby sims are from the same hood the lot is in)

Mods by Cyjon

• Smarter EP Check (many of Cyjon’s and others’ mods require this to work)

• Lot Inspecter (place it on a lot and it tells you if it’s safe to delete a lot or not because of tombstones, offworld loiterers, owned businesses, etc.)

• NPC Maker Fix (improves functionality of NPC Maker that can be spawned with TestingCheatsEnabled)

• Breadfruit Tree Fix (stops tree from burning forever after lightning hits it)

• Bug Collection Fix (sims literally can’t complete the bug collection without this)

• Call to Meal Fix (doing “Call to Meal” won’t include servos/babies/toddlers/plantsims/NPCs in who comes over to grab a plate)

• Dance Advertising Tweaks (different dances are preferred based on personality)

• Dance Near Stereo (sims doing the smustle get closer to the stereo first instead of just suddenly dancing outside in the corner of the lot alone)

• Dumb “In Use” Test (sims won’t go all the way across the lot to use an object if it’s already being used by another sim)

• Fake Townie Sales (NPCs/townies buying from a business don’t get tons of objects piled in their inventory, it just disappears)

• Fewer Tourists (allows smaller/fewer Vacation Destination tourist families, because otherwise the game expects 12 families with at least 4 members each and will not generate any tourists at all if there’s less than that)

• Floor Sleep Fix (fixes bug where a passed out sim stops gaining energy)

• Ghost Hack (set of mods you can pick & choose from for ghost behavior)

• Less Naked Freakout (sims in Love don’t get shocked seeing each other naked)

• Meet Professors Fix (fixes bug related to sims in Uni meeting professors)

• Memory Fixes (fixed bugs related to a few memories and associated gossip)

• More Dishes (sims pick up more dishes to clean at once than originally)

• No Table Platters (sims can’t put serving platters on eating surfaces)

• Pool Ladder Autonomy (sims autonomously enter pools using the ladder)

• Relationship Decay Fix (fixes bug related to daily relationship decay involving larger sized families/households)

• Self Preservation (sims prioritize satisfying Hunger over Bladder or Energy)

• Smarter Chair Selection (sims choose seating more sensibly, based on location/proximity/activity)

• Smarter Food Serving (sims decide how many plates to serve based on who’s on the lot without including people like babies or ghosts)

• Townie Apartment Residents (empty/unplayed apartments are filled by townies instead of social groups, which you might not have/want in a hood)

• Townie Enthusiasm Seeder (gives townies hobby enthusiasm if they don’t have any, usually when they were made in CAS then turned into a townie)

• Vampire Walkbys (more nighttime walkbys involving different supernaturals)

• Yoga/Meditation Fix (you can put Yoga/Meditation in a sim’s queue multiple times so they resume after falling without it disappearing from the queue)

Mods by Nopke

• Random Dormies (dormies that move in are picked randomly instead of being the lowest numbered, also if a dorm a dormie lived in is demolished or no longer has a playable sim in it then their old dorm room key is removed so they can move into a new dorm)

• Inventory Inheritance (the inventory of a sim who died gets moved to another sim based on their relationship with variances you can choose from)

• Food Already Available Fix (if food is already on a lot then sims won’t autonomously cook, get a snack, or “Stuff Face” with some variances you can choose from)

[coconut530]

ok I'm rambling again so yeah. Hello veteran worshippers I'm new :)

I mean, like I knew about Sleep Token, heard The Summoning first in one of my Trigun artist’s Tiktoks, then heard Take Me Back To Eden in a video by the creator of Covenant Webtoon. Listened to those songs for fun sometimes, but then TMBTE got ✨stuck✨ in my head. Then I was like “Live video of TMBTE??? Does it exist?”

And like. Why didn’t I get into this band sooner.

First off here’s The Summoning and TMBTE so you can see my pipeline:

And then THIS RITUAL introduced me to the band, which was FREAKING AMAZING IT’S SUCH A GOOD RECORDING!!

I love their aesthetic, secondly. You don’t see many mysterious bands these days, and these guys deliver so well. Every single member has a distinct and interesting look that's all so cool. I love how the Vesselettes/Espera exist, like that's amazing and I love seeing them. Vessel looks so fun to draw I wanna do it at some point. This is the first band I’ve found that just speaks to my OCs more than other fictional characters. Probably gonna see me animate Dark Signs with one of them soon enough.

Third, like… their lyrics are some of the most creative and evocative things I’ve heard in so long. It kinda sucks they don’t do many interviews bc I’m dying to know what goes through their heads when they write this amazing music. Some of my favorite lyrics are in a list below so you don’t read a gigantic paragraph, and will also show you my favorite songs I’ve found:

Chokehold: Still getting into this one, but "So show me that which I cannot see / Even if it hurts me / Even if I can’t sleep / Oh, and though we act out of our holy duty to be constantly awake / You’ve got me in a chokehold" is a build that always gets me so hyped up

Granite: just found this one, it's so BADASS!! "When you sit there acting like you know me... So keep an eye on the road, or we'll both be here forever" is so freaking awesome. I need like an animated music video that just illustrate the lyrics bc that'd be so cool

Like That: "Fall into your eyes like a grave (all that is inside, all your anger) / Bury me to the sound of your name, no (all your disgust, all your resentment) / Fall into your eyes like a grave (all your difference, all your pain) / Bury me to the sound of your name (all your pain)." There's so much resentment in this song and it's dripping off of these lyrics specifically, it's awesome

Missing Limbs: just found this one also but OMG it made me tear up the first time watching it in the Red Rocks Ritual! It's so sweet and tender, by the time you get to the title at the end you just get punched in the feels. "I'd give anything / To balance your conviction with certainty / To fall asleep without you lying next to me / To sever my connection with everything ... And I'll live like I've got missing limbs for you" IS SO GOOD HURTS MEEEEEEEE

The Summoning: -insert the rest of the song after 5:00- Obviously this is the part everyone uses in their social media posts, and I am not immune to its allure. It’s amazing!

Take Me Back To Eden: -insert the entire second chorus- and "And I don't know what's got its teeth in me / but I'm about to bite back in anger / And no amount of self-sought fury / will bring back the glory of innocence." The way Vessel sings this is so desperate and like enhances the lyrics so much more augh

Aqua Regia: honestly like all of it. The rap-ish style with the creative lyrics is so cool and the imagery of it all is so vivid. I love how the second chorus builds with the verse. It has such a steady, pungent rhythm that's so fun to sing

Rain: "I know, I know, I am what I am / The mouth of the wolf, the eyes of the lamb / So darling, will you saturate? / -second chorus-." I love the opposites in this verse, so interesting. The chorus has that yearning (tm) and I'm all here for ittttttt

The Night Does Not Belong To God: "When you live by daylight / With angels at your side." It's literally two lines but after the beautiful build that intros the song and his angelic voice, it does something to you

Dark Signs: I melt into a puddle every time I hear "I might break and bend to my basic need to be loved and close to somebody." The line is evocative enough just hearing it once, but making it a backing vocal that’s always playing just makes it punch you over and over. All the beat drops in this song are amazing

Atlantic: EVERY FREAKING WORD AND NOTE IN THIS SONG

I need y'all to like... hear Atlantic at Red Rocks specifically (cw: flashing):

This is the main reason I made this post bc... LIKE EVERYONE NEEDS TO HEAR THIS HELLO?!?!?!?!?!?!?!! This version is so amazing I barely listen to the studio version. "Sobbing as they turn to statues at the bedside / I'm trying not to crush into sand." I can't tell you what exactly but this makes me feel things. "Call me when they bury bodies underwater / It's blue light over murder for me / Crumble like a temple built from future daughters / To wastelands when the oceans recede" is a phenomenal verse and I've never felt more connected to the ocean when I hear it. The piano, the vocals, the instruments, the venue, II singing at the end, the vesselettes, the lights. Oh my god. The outro. Soothing and angelic omggggg. That beat drop?!?!?! ✨ w h a t ✨ . They've put an addictive substance into every one of their songs but this one is like an overdose. Can't get anything done all I'm thinking about is this -flails hands at video-. Vessel is literally a vessel in this song bc whatever entities the band made a deal with to have music this good are singing through him here.

And like the fourth thing. By now listening to all these songs may have made you realize:

what can’t they do?!?! Their music just goes into so many different genres sometimes and it’s amazing. Never heard a band this versatile.

Uh, yeah. That's been my experience with Sleep Token so far, and I am so normal about them, as you can see :D !!!!! Excited to be into them and this community. Any of my followers reading this who don't know who they are, go check them out, they're freaking amazing. They will change you.

[xombiriot]

TOP 3 Metal Albums I Enjoyed from 2023

A lot of great metal came out this year and it was hard to narrow it down to my Top 3. There were some great EPs released this year— Spiritbox’s The Fear of Fear, Brand of Sacrifice’s Between Death and Dreams and Knosis’s The Eternal Doom among them. Singles I enjoyed include: "On the Verge" by thrown, “Masterpiece” by The Anchor, “Enemy” by The Gentle Men (ft. Andy Cizek), “Weight of the World” by Harper (ft. We Came as Romans and Brand of Sacrifice), “Viking” by Slaughter To Prevail, "III" by DEATHPHONK (Nik Nocturnal's weird project); and Knocked Loose had the double, “Deep In the Willow”/“Everything is Quiet Now”.

My Top 5 honourable mentions: 5. [m]other by Veil of Maya, their newest does everything I want it to do, good riffs, cool effects, great vocals; 4. Soul Elegy by Termina, Nik Nocturna, Andy Cizek and friends deliver an awesome metal album; 3. Chaos Horrific by Cannibal Corpse is a strong entry and shows why they're still so loved after so long; 2. The Fox and the Bird by Ok Goodnight mixes folk, rock, metal and whatever else they want to create this really entrancing album; and 1. Take Me Back to Eden by Sleep Token is one of the albums I listened to the most because it's easy to put on when you're tired of being relentlessly pummelled by deathcore, but though its highs are super high, it just misses out landing on my top 3 because there are a few spots it lags

3. ...And Everything In Between - Unprocessed

Manuel Gardner Fernandes has quickly become one of my favourite guitarists between this release and Unprocessed's previous album Gold. The combination of styles on this album exemplify modern metal: bludgeoning heaviness, thumpy prog riffing (à la Animals As Leaders or Polyphia) and a mix of harsh and clean vocals. Despite the polish of these 9 tracks, some express such raw emotion and a ferocity that they really get me hyped up. The variety of tones and vocals kept me engaged throughout, and they blend and balance heaviness and melody so well. The guitar sounds so angry sometimes–especially the part of "Thrash" where Manuel beats the shit outta his guitar after screaming, "But you're just a fucking lie!" I love that. Other songs like "Blackbone" and "Die on the Cross of the Martyr" continue the trend of excellent instrumentation, the latter featuring guest solos by Polyphia's Tim Henson and Scottie Lepage. It's so well done and so engaging. In the short time I've had this album, it's become one of my favourites of 2023.

2. Periphery V: Djent Is Not A Genre - Periphery

When Periphery released "Wildfire" as a single I immediately bought into what they were selling. The way they transition through the various parts is seamless, the mix of vocal techniques and the jazzy interlude are all fantastic. It really captures the spirit of the whole record. Songs like "Dying Star" and "Zagreus" are also so hard. Periphery continues to show off their musical dexterity, and the band members prove once again they're not only some of the best musicians djenting their way through the world but as a collective they add up to more than the sum of their parts. My hottest take when it comes to this album is that I love "Silhouette" — it's like if you ran 80s soft rock and 90s/00s boy bands through a progressive music filter. I think they wrote this song and put it on the album just to prove they can do anything. And if Periphery is Djent, and Djent isn't a genre then why shouldn't they go in every genre direction they want to explore?

1. War of Being - TesseracT

In other years this top 3 could have been entirely deathcore or melodeath or metalcore, but this year it was djenty prog metal through and through. It's the music I gravitated to the most this year and nobody did it better than TesseracT. Daniel Tompkins vocals are incredible throughout, his cleans sounding particularly great on "Echoes" – giving us one of the best choruses before following it up with another great one on "The Grey". The album offers engaging lyricism throughout and the instrumentation is at a pedigree one would expect for a band in the vanguard of this genre. The album gives us atmospheric moments, synths, meditative passages before blasting us with metal. In many ways the whole album does what the best tracks on Sleep Token's Take Me Back To Eden do. Each song and the album as a whole provide an expansive experience. And that's why it's my number one. More than any other album released this year, TesseracT's War of Being makes me want to sit down and listen to it from beginning to end.

Other great albums: SUPERBLOOM by Silent Planet; Fatalism by Polaris; Feral by Left To Suffer; Foregone by In Flames; Ashen by Humanity's Last Breath; The Sin of Human Frailty by END; Symptoms of Survival by Dying Wish; and The Death We Seek by Currents.

[moonchild-in-blue]

Hello!! 8D I'm new to the Sleep Token fandom; I saw like 2 concert videos on my TikTok feed yesterday morning and proceeded to complete the fastest casual to full blown fan speedrun of my life in a single day XD And I don't really have anyone I can yell about them to, not even the person who originally introduced me to their music, so :P I'm still working my way through listening to their full discography, but I wanted to say a MAJOR part of how fast I got into them I feel is because of the Wembley show from this past weekend?? It says so much about Vessel that he handled the whole thing the way that he did, and the more footage I see from that specific show the more my heart is FULL for this man <3 That on top of the cool and intriguing lore, AMAZING aesthetics, and of course the music (which I was already into before but even moreso now XD), and it was a RECIPE for a hyperfixation :3 I also wanted to say as a newbie that I love the new masks?? Especially Vessel's; the red edgings are SO cool and put even more emphasis on his TEETH :P His whole look is Iconic (though I wonder if that cloak must be heavy to wear??), I love that the other members of the band are developing their own distinctive looks too?? And it's super cool to see how their look evolves as they become more and more successful, just from what I've seen so far <3 I also just REALLY love how more and more music artists are embracing the innately religious experience that comes with a live concert?? As you can probably tell I'm a Swiftie so I had the same thought about the Eras tour XD but also with other punk-rock/metal artists like Ghost :P So calling their shows a "Ritual" or a "Worship" is metal as hell, I think :3 Plus just as a somewhat personal note, lately I've been running out of podcast episodes that I feel comfortable falling asleep to, and I already want Vessel's voice just PUMPED DIRECTLY INTO MY VEINS, so the natural progression I think is using ST to fall asleep to as well?? Which I mean, given their lore and everything, worshipping the eldritch god of sleep, feels appropriate XD Last thing -- so far my fave song of theirs is The Love You Want, I can't stop listening to it :3 I originally got into them through The Summoning, of course, and now I also love Alkaline cause it was in one of the videos I mentioned XD I started downloading more and more individual songs that I saw mentioned by name on here until I just caved and basically downloaded their entire discography, it was gonna happen anyway at this rate XD But I'd love to know what your faves are, too!! <3 (and bless you for reading this long-ass message from a total stranger lol XD)

Hello there! Wow, that's quite the achievement!! I totally understand though, once you get sucked into their tar trap (hehe) it's pretty much impossible to leave (not that I have ever wanted to).

Welcome to the family!! I hope you enjoy your stay here - there are warm beverages and snacks on the table, take as much as you want and get cosy. 💙🍵🍪 You are more than welcome to scream about our beloved cryptics - we shall all join you, like a pack of feral wolves howling at the moon Sleep 🐺🌕

I have recently gotten an ask from another lovely new member of this weird little community, and did an introductory post of sorts. I will link it here - it's a nice read, and there is a very good post linked there with some more background on the band - how did they start, album evolution, some important lore info, etc etc, by our lovely local archivist and knowledge keeper hehe. It's an incredibly thorough and comprehensive read - 100% reccomend!

So, about Wembley. Yeah, I think we're all still collectively recovering from it. There was A LOT of expection for it, being their last Ritual of the year, and the biggest headline to date, and even more things happening (New masks, iii's return, and of course Vessel's unfortunate situation). Vessel, the band and choir, and every single crew member involved did a fantastic, admirable job under the circumstances.

I won't dwell too much on it, as I've already shared my thoughts on another post, as so did many others, but yes - the fact that Vessel chose to perform at all given his condition, and somewhat stil managed to blow everyone away, is nothing short of an indicative of how sweet and beautiful, and loving that man is. I have nothing but respect for him and the guys - it must've been pretty hard on them as well to perform in such sad circumstances. The show was incredible, and my heart is still so so full with it 💙

The masks are pretty amazing!! I'm personally still attached to the old black ones, and in mourning of iii's victorian child look, but I do loooove the new costumes (they got me feeling some type of way, but I won't be weird here. Just Thinking Things)! Very yummy 😚 The new Choir outfits are INCREDIBLE aaaaaa (you will see me fangirl about them a lot).

Vessel's mask in not new per-se - he's had this one since May or June I believe (around the time TMBTE came out). His mask (and shoulder piece) is AMAZING, I am so in love with it still. It was done by Hysteria Machine - the same artists who did the new Espera (my lovely choir ladies) masks (debuted in the first German Ritual of December). His cloak is actually super lightweight, and the shirtless look helps to keep him cool during his adorable zoomies hehe (not sure about the fur on the back - but he seems to be okay with it, for the ~aesthetic~. My love is a nerd lol)

Yeah, the religious vibes are definitely there, even if just for the lore. I'm not a fan of neither Taylor Swift nor Ghost, so I can't really comment on that, but concerts to have a very transcedent feel to it. "Worship" is kind of a tagline for the band and fans, while Rituals are the actual shows!

I have lost count to how many night's I've fallen asleep to Vessel's voice lmao. As someone with severe insomnia issues, their music is nothing short of divine. 💙

I too was a victim of The Summoning - I suppose it really worked! TLYW funnily enough was my least favourite from that album during the first 2 or 3 listens. Then I watched the live performance for it and OMG. Now it occupies a very special place in my heart - even more after iii's brief absence!

My favourite song is Atlantic - it will forever and always have my heart. Very closely followed by Chokehold / The Apparition / Drag Me Under. Special kiss with tongue to Fields of Elation and Jaws (among others)! Do not sleep (hehe) on their eps/singles!!!! They are fenomenal!!! I always reccomend you listen to the albums in full, at least at first, to really get the full experience. But of course, you do you hun!

If you like the lore aspect of the band, I'd definitely recommend you scroll through the ST lore tag. There are so many amazing posts with lyric analysis, lore headcanons, among others. Also thought the fanart tag!!! The amount of talent and care in this fandom is insane. Everyone is so kind and loving and sweet here - I'm sure you'll have a good time! Don't be shy, go full unhinged if you so wish, and feel free to drop by anytime with any thoughts, questions, or anything else 💙

[god-of-failure]

Listen

I LOVE Maelstrom Blvck so damn much

Every single one of those guys is amazing and deserves the world

I want them to be the next Sleep Token because I know they can be!!

All of their music is amazing!!

Please please please!!! Go listen to them!

Make them popular!!

They have a discord too!!

[wanderrghost]

hello it's Monday morning and i'm running on 4 hours of sleep, a protein shake, and some zoloft and i'm getting weepy about Euclid by Sleep Token.

One of the things I love most about ST's music is that, depending on the listener, it takes on a multitude of meanings. Part of that is likely because we don't know anything about Vessel/the other band members (which, sidenote: I hope they keep it that way. I've seen some speculation that since this "trilogy" is finished, the next step is either disbanding or having the masks come off. Frankly, I hope neither is the case). We don't know where these lyrics come from, how real life influenced Vessel's writing. But another part of why it's so versatile is because every listener brings their own background to it. Their own context.

What I bring to Euclid specifically is a deeply painful split from a dear friend back in 2018.

I won't bog this post down with details, only that we were both at fault, and that I can pinpoint to you exactly when our friendship changed and began to fall apart - during a single car ride, we went from "platonic soulmates" to "cracks in the foundation" and never recovered. We haven't spoken in 5-6 years, and more than once I've come to the conclusion that I'd like it to stay that way. That we were not good for each other, especially near the end.

But, whether I realized it or not, I still hurt from that. Even now.

Euclid is an ending, an epilogue. It's a song essentially saying "I need to let you go so I can be someone better".

It's... cathartic. Like someone gently holding your cracked, bleeding hands and going "I understand. I've been where you are. It's okay. You can let go now".

[sleepanonymous]

REVELATIONS NEWS ❖ COMMENT ❖ HEAVY FUCKING METAL HOT NEW BAND

Sleep is not just for the weak, according to Vessel and co

STAY TOKE The gimmick may be goofy, but Sleep Token’s music is no laughing matter

“My favourite 90s album is Fantastic Planet by Failure. It’s devastatingly bleak in a way that resonates into our deepest self.” – VESSEL (VOCALS)

SOUNDS LIKE an intriguing and shadowy blend of atmospheric post-rock and tech FOR FANS OF Meshuggah, Bon Iver, Explosions in the Sky LISTEN TO Calcutta 

Over the years Metal Hammer has heard all manner of bizarre sonic coalitions and watched bands emerge from the deepest, weirdest corners of our scene, yet mysterious collective Sleep Token are up there among the most unique and ‘WTF?’ propositions so far. Not only is their music a fairly unclassifiable fusion of brutal tech-metal and atmospheric post-rock, but the band, driven by masked and cloaked frontman Vessel, claim to live in thrall to an ancient deity called Sleep. OK…

Much like Ghost’s Nameless Ghouls, the remaining members of Sleep Token have chosen to remain anonymous in order to retain their shadowy presence— only agreeing to answer our questions via email.

“They go hand in hand,” explains Vessel when we ask if the band’s sound and image are simply an exercise in gimmickry. “Sleep Token serves to add a visual dimension to our journey. A world without texture isn’t a world at all.” The story goes that Vessel first encountered Sleep in a dream where he was promised glory and magnificence in return for his worship. “He is the oldest God, a primal majesty that has endured the ages unperturbed by the morality of a flawed and chaotic human race,” says the frontman helpfully. “He is everyone. He is you. There’s a power in music that binds us all, every note relates to another. He showed me a vision of a world filled with depth and texture.”

OK, so their ‘backstory’ is silly. But as far as the music’s concerned, Sleep Token are an undeniably intriguing prospect, inhibiting a sparse world of heart-breaking beauty and intense heaviness where start, and sometimes sinister skeletal soundscapes build to throbbing climaxes with mesmerising effect. Recent single Calcutta, which premiered on Hammer’s website, builds like a storm: violent, djent-tinged destruction erupting amid Vessel’s ethereal and vulnerable Bon Iver-esque vocals.

“We sculpt, build and craft these sounds with an aim to deliver the emotional magnitude of His words,” says Vessel. “Destroy and rebuild over and over until what is left is what His followers shall hear. The influences come from the physical and emotionally charged world at large. Dreams are textural, so is music and much like life; they bring both darkness and life, beauty and ugliness— it’s our job to translate and convey those complexities as best we can. Each of these songs is an experience, but to find the real details you’ll have to explore them yourself. The music will ring out and people will continue to follow, for that’s what people do best. Follow. Stay with us and we’ll show you the whole world through His eyes. What a magnificent sight that is.”

“WE WORSHIP THE OLDEST GOD, A PRIMAL MAJESTY”

SLEEP TOKEN’S NEW EP, TWO, IS OUT NOW VIA BASICK

METALHAMMER.COM

(This is in my Google Drive also, here.)

[theclockworkjudas]

I'm finding it very hard to put in words the concept that I find every single member of Sleep Token not at all physically attractive to me but simultaneously sexy af?

Like I can't wrap my head around "if not hot why bangable?"

Sleep token veterans, pls help?

[writersblock0625]

Hello Sleep Token Sleepers/Tokens. I saw them at LTL ‘23 & I need to know which of you saved EVERY👏🏾SINGLE👏🏾PHOTO👏🏾 from iii’s IG page. It’s my besties (whom got me into them) fav member & I wanna make a present for them but since the BS happened his page is wiped clean….please & thank you