#every single comment is ESH
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Am I the Asshole for totally refusing to read my friends fanfics?
(👀👀👀 <- to recognize)
So me and my friend are both 15 (she is a few month older, I'm aroace and she isn't sure abt her sexuality yet, if that matters) so I'm not sure if this is just pretty teenager drama but yeah.
So this friend, I'll call her C, was the one who got me into like fandoms and fanfics and stuff and because we are in a lot of the same fandoms I often beta-read her fics before she uploads them to Ao3. And after she uploads them I usually leave a small comment on it to support her.
Now comes the problem: I am personally very uncomfortable with smut fics and I HAVE told her so repeatedly. She writes some occasionally and wants me to proof-read but I tell her I don't feel comfortable doing so. She then goes on about how she will have to find someone else to read it and how that is such a pain for her to do because god knows why.
Recently however, she just sends me the fics she wants me to proofread and doesn't tell me that they are smut. So I'll be halfway through correcting them and suddenly those two characters she likes are going at it. Every single time it happened it was so fucking upsetting and she just asks me to finish correcting it because I already started so she wouldnt have to look for anyone else. So by now I just refuse to proof-read her fics or read them after she publishes it, which is noticeable cause my comments are missing. This in turn makes her upset because I am not supporting her.
She then complained to our two mutual friends abt this and they are divided as well. One of them, who already knew C before we all met each other, was on C's side and claimed that I am not letting her cope. Cope with what? I don't know. The other one supports me, so our entire friend group is a bit strained now.
Sorry if I became a bit rant-y (is that the right way to say that?) or if I made some typos while writing this. I'm kinda upset still.
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AITA?
My ex-fiancée said she would never make me choose her over my mother and family. Now she's married to someone else.
My ex (27f) and I (31M) met when she was in her bachelor's. I was a computer engineering graduate in my last year, and she was the cousin of one of my friends. She didn't like me in the beginning, and I admit I chased her. I went to every single one of my friend's family functions and I admit, I singled her out. I thought it would be romantic. My friend came from a progressive, happy family, and honestly, sometimes I was jealous how he never had to worry about money or being discriminated due to caste like how I was. My friend still doesn't know we dated. I came from a significantly poorer family, with excessively conservative parents. At 19 years old, my ex told me she only dated to marry. She would not start a relationship with me if I wouldn't marry her in the future.
I was in my early 20s didn't like her rules and became insecure. She wanted to wait for marriage. She was scared to even kiss me. She was too family-oriented and her father was planning to send her abroad for master's. I admit, I became controlling, even though she never hid her phone or anything from me. She wanted to tell her mother about us but I forbade it. She said she had to, otherwise we would end up doing long distance. I didn't want to. I ended up telling my mother. She immediately forbade me from continuing the relationship as my mother thought my ex would end up dominating me since she came from money, even though I had started my career already and she was still in college. I ended up introducing her to my mom, though she wasn't allowed to tell her family. I knew my mom would make comments, but I couldn't let her disrespect my mom. Tbh, my ex would tell me if my mom insulted her, and I would tell her if she couldn't handle her now, what would she do after marriage.
She ended things with me five years ago and moved to Scotland. Didn't contact me. I was too afraid to ask my friend about her in case she decided to tell him what happened. I have missed her every day since then and still miss her now. I resent my mom so much, but am still too scared to hurt my mother's feelings. I got engaged last year. Arranged marriage, and she has nothing on my ex. Bad in looks, no job, no intellect, and I can't even talk to her about books or movies, but my mom thinks she will make a good wife, so there's that. I know I deserve this.
Except, my friend is leaving for the UK in a few days because apparently, my ex eloped with a guy. Her parents were there, according to my friend who was telling us in the group chat. He was so happy, even though the guy she married is not from our community or Indian. I hate this. I couldn't sleep for over four nights and feel like the dead. I don't know what to do. She's married and I can't do anything. Some guy I have never even seen in my life is now her husband, and it's all over her social media. I hate how happy he makes her, something I didn't do. I hate my family and my background. I hate myself for letting her go.
#thank you for the submission!#polls#aita#tumblr polls#aita polls#aitah polls#poll blog#aitah#am i the asshole#random polls
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AITAH for telling a plus size woman that I love being ‘skinny’?
I dread going to my childhood friend's birthday party every year. We moved apart a decade ago, and even though I'll always care deeply about her, we are very different people now and her friend group reflects this.
She has one friend, let's call her Amanda, who...without fail... has to comment on my weight EVERY single time she sees me.
'You're so skinny!' 'Do you even eat?' 'Does your bf care that you don't have curves?' 'Your legs are like sticks!'
For the record - I eat plenty. I just have a fast metabolism which keeps me super thin. I keep a strong face when Amanda says these things to me, but truthfully she's touching on my worst insecurities and it makes me dread going to these parties every year.
I was considering not going this year, until I talked to my mom about it.
My mom had (what I thought was) a great idea on how to deal with Amanda. She suggested I pretend she's giving me a compliment. My mom told me: "If Amanda says 'You're so skinny!', just smile and say 'Thanks! I love being skinny. And if she looks disappointed at your response, you'll have proven she was trying to insult you."
I thought this was great advice, however something I had failed to mention to my mom was that Amanda was overweight. I didn't realize this meant I was entering potential AH territory.
Anyway, the dreaded birthday party day comes. And of course, no surprise, Amanda immediately looks at my arms and comments how tiny they are. I ignored this comment. Then later on in the day, we were standing in a group together and she was eyeing me up and down. She chuckled to herself and says "God, you're so skinny."
And I thought, ok here it is. Here is my moment.
I turned to her, smiled and said "Thanks. I love being skinny".
And then, and I am completely serious here...
SHE SLAPS ME IN THE FACE!!!!!
I was in complete shock, just staring back at her, mouth hanging open with my hand on my cheek. Everyone was silent.
She suddenly bursts into tears and runs out of the room. Two of her friends chase her. Only one other girl and my childhood friend asked if I was okay, but everyone else was just shooting me dirty looks.
I promptly left the party (which sucked cause I had a two-hour commute and had planned to sleepover).
The next day, I was texting with my childhood friend about it. She basically thinks that even though Amanda shouldn't have slapped me, that I was insensitive for saying "I love being skinny" to a plus size person. I argued that Amanda has been consistently insensitive to me every party. And I didn't comment on her body, only my own.
She told me that it's different because being skinny is socially acceptable, and that Amanda wouldn't usually do something like this but I triggered her with my 'insult'.
My mom thinks I am in the right but this was all her idea so of course she does lol.
So AITA for what I said to Amanda?
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Quickest ESH (everyone sucks here) of all time, featuring a tiny comment chain of Lalnable being like “hot huh” with Xephos replying “how the hell are you online”
you're so right, every single person is like "no one here sounds tolerable, please stay in your lab forever" other than one: "YTA (you're the asshole) for not dating the cannibal, he was here first <3 and he's never complained about your picky ass food habits" thats just also lalnable.
#asks#yoglabs reddit so cursed but so funny thank you#r/askreddit: if you had to diffuse a red matter bomb - how would you go about that?#(serious replies only)#(urgent)#(please answer)#yoglabs
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A New Love for Charlotte (A Wells Landing Romance Book 11) by Amy Lillard
Book Description:
Renewed faith and happiness await three generations of women in this heartwarming series from Amy Lillard, set in the Oklahoma Amish community of Wells Landing . . .
With her daughter newly married, widow Charlotte Burkhart should have been content to find a companion for her later years in Amish widower Glenn Esh. Yet, Charlotte longs for more than life has offered her thus far. When she discovers a baby on her doorstep, the child seems like the miracle Charlotte’s been praying for. Unfortunately, Glenn doesn’t feel the same way. What’s a single woman aching to experience motherhood once more to do?
From the moment Paul Brenneman sees Charlotte Burkhart with a new baby, he senses his lovely neighbor and the sweet child are meant to be. Which is why he offers to marry Charlotte and make her adoption dreams come true. No stranger to heartache himself, the stalwart widower knows second chances don’t happen every day—especially not with a woman like Charlotte, the first woman in a long time who has him taking a leap of faith that happily-ever-after is still possible . . .
About the Author:
Amy Lillard is an award-winning author of over forty novels and novellas ranging from Amish romance and mysteries to contemporary and historical romance. Since receiving a Carol Award for her debut novel, Saving Gideon (2012), she has become known for writing sweet stories filled with family values, honest characters, a hometown feel and close-knit communities. She is a member of RWA, ACFW, NINC, and the Author's Guild. Born and bred in Mississippi, she now lives with her husband and son in Oklahoma. Please visit her online at www.AmyWritesRomance.com.
My Thoughts: A Real Winner
Charlotte is a widow who lives with her mother-in-law, Nadine. Charlotte has been having difficulty adjusting to various changes in her life. Her daughter’s recent marriage and Nadine’s possible upcoming marriage have Charlotte feeling sad as she faces the prospect of being alone. She is saddened even more when she receives information about further changes that she will have to face. Charlotte continues to struggle with these situations while opening her heart to finding love.
Just when things seem to be moving along for Charlotte, she receives a very unexpected surprise. A baby is left at her doorstep. The arrival of the baby is a game changer that results in Charlotte having to do some deep digging into her new found love, her faith and God’s will.
I found this story to be extremely heartwarming. Its messages of love, trust, faith, and hope tugged at my heartstrings and completely pulled me in. Any story that can do that is a real winner in my book (no pun intended), and that’s exactly what A New Love for Charlotte is, a real winner.
*****I received a complimentary copy of this book. All comments and opinions and are strictly my own.*****
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I’ve been considering posting things I write for a while now, so here’s something that I wrote as a school assignment once and ended up really liking so here it is.
Eshe and the Bees:
Aaron was in what his grandmother would call “A pickle”, and that “pickle” being his family farm failing so terribly he wasn’t even sure where to begin to fix this. The farm had been in his name for a year now and has been the most difficult year of his life. He had watched his grandmother tend to the farm his whole life without issue, had helped her tend to it his whole life, but almost as soon as she had passed last year the farm had started to slowly die as well and Aaron was at a loss for what to do.
His grandmother, always the bright woman, had left him binders full of notes on how to take care of the farm; little things that he hadn’t known before now and phone numbers that he would need when it was time to sell products, but then there were things that didn’t make sense to him. There were a few notes scrawled in the margin’s that said things like “IF YOU NEED HELP CALL ESHE,” and a recipe for a pound cake that he was sure was supposed to go in her recipe books instead of her work books. Aaron had absolutely no idea who Eshe was or why he would need to call them and therefore waved that note off as well. There was no phone number for Eshe either, so he safely assumed it was nothing too important. None of his grandmother’s notes said anything about what to do if all the plants started to die without warning.
The animals that the farm raised were doing swell, the cows and the goats still producing fresh milk, they were all as healthy and active as they should be, the hens still laying good eggs, but the plants…the plants were another story. Aaron had done everything he could think of to help them; he’s tried three different types of soil, he’s tried a different watering system, he’s tried everything and the plants still wilt and rot. He had one of his grandmother’s old friends come over to look at the plants and when the older man couldn’t find the root cause of the problem, had merely shrugged and suggested trying to plant new crops. It was getting to the point where he was considering selling the property out of spite (for obvious reasons he could not have done that but it was a nice threat in the back of his mind).
It wasn’t until an early January morning that Aaron found out why his farm was doing so poorly and how to fix it.
Farm life required early mornings; getting up at sunrise so that he could get work done quickly and making sure that all the animals had food ready for them when they awoke. Aaron was just waking up and heading to the kitchen when he noticed that the lights were still on, and there was no one else who could be in the house aside from him and the dogs he owned. Aaron did the most logical thing that he could think of and grabbed the baseball bat he had lying around for reasons like this, and crept into the kitchen as silently as one could creep in a house with creaky wood flooring.
What Aaron found and what Aaron was expecting were two completely different things. He expected someone to be rifling through his things; taking what they could get their hands on and possibly attempting to murder him. What Aaron found was a woman with ebony skin drinking a cup of coffee and angrily tapping away at a cellphone, a basic smartphone, it would do enough to multitask, with a case shaped like a bumblebee, sitting regally at his kitchen table, unaware that he was standing in the threshold with a baseball bat. Her hair was piled on top of her head in a bun, and her nails had dirt embedded so deeply into them he was sure it was more pain than it was worth to try and clean them.
“Ummm?” He asked, unsure of what to do.
The woman looked up from her phone and glared at him for reasons Aaron couldn’t figure out. “Who are you? Where is my cake?” She asked, dropping the device roughly onto the table. “It has been a year, and we had a deal. Where is Maria, we must have words.” Her voice was harsh and demanding and Aaron wasn’t sure who had broken into whose home at this point.
“Ummm?” He asked again, unsure of what was going on.
She snapped at him a few times. “Maria, boy, where is she? We had a deal and I haven’t gotten my payment in a year. I demand answers.”
Aaron slowly lowered the baseball bat and scratched the back of his head. “Grand-Maria, died a year ago…Ma’am…”
The woman took a long sip of her coffee and made a humming sound. “Sit down, boy.” She said, pointing to the chair across from her. “We have things to discuss.” Aaron wasn’t sure why he was listening to the woman, but he put the bat down, made himself a cup of coffee, and sat down across from her without saying a word.
Neither of them said anything for a long time, silently drinking their coffees and tapping away at their phones until the silence was too much and Aaron asked a question.
“Who are you, exactly?” He wondered, looking at her closely. He’d been living with his grandmother since he was born and didn’t remember ever meeting this woman or hearing about some deal that his grandmother had made with anyone.
“My name,” The mysterious woman began, “Is Eshe and I am a goddess of fertility.” She spoke the words slowly but surely.
There was more silence for one heartbeat, two, three, four, and finally-
“You’re kidding me.” Aaron said without hesitation. He believed a lot of things; he believed that a god existed, and he believed that science could explain almost everything, but this was too much even for him.
The woman, Eshe, huffed angrily, nostrils flaring at him. “I beg your pardon?” She hissed out. “How dare you say that to me.”
“Excuse me? You broke into my home!” He shouted, louder than he probably should have.
“I have an open invitation to come into this home whenever I please to come into this home! Did your grandmother tell you nothing of me?” Eshe looked him dead in the eye, a trait that Aaron had always found intimidating.
Aaron remembered the note, but that didn’t help with anything. “There’s only been one mention of you; a note telling me to call you if I needed help but nothing else. Are you going to explain things to me, or are you going to continue to make vague comments all morning? I have a farm to tend to.”
A scoff and a lazy wave of a hand in the air. “A farm that is dying, because you have failed to make the proper payments.” She laughed out, not harshly, but amused by the situation. “Calm yourself, boy, and I will tell you a tale from sixty years ago.
“When your grandmother, Maria, moved here with her new husband they had no idea what they were doing, their crops would not grow, and their animals would get sick so easily they could not keep them alive, and so they prayed for some sort of help, any kind really. Kind and generous as I am, I came to your grandmother one morning while she was making breakfast and struck a deal with her. Once a month she is to leave me a fresh, homemade cake, any sort of cake, and I would keep the farm thriving for her and her family. It was a simple enough deal you see, payment was easy and all I had to do was keep things alive. Easy. But, a year ago today the cakes have stopped being left out for me; I figured that there were some slight…mobility issues, Maria was getting rather old and I was allowing a grace period of two months and if the cakes stopped coming I would stop nurturing the farm. It has been a year; your farm is dead.”
Aaron could see how it all made sense, could even understand why his grandmother had left that random cake recipe in her binders now. He didn’t know how to bake though, didn’t even like sweets. What was he even going to tell her?
“Would you like to make a new deal with me, boy?” Eshe asks, standing to make another cup of coffee. She rummages through his cabinets like she’s lived here her entire life, and pulls out a large container of honey before squeezing a generous amount of it into her coffee.
“My name is Aaron.” He says, weakly.
“Answer the question, boy.” Eshe chides him, and goes about her business in the kitchen. “You can have a functioning farm again, or you could lose everything your grandmother has built and we both know how sad that would be.” She says offhandedly.
Aaron watches her buzz around the kitchen for a few more minutes before she sits, and looks at him knowingly. “What kind of deal are we talking about?” He asks.
Eshe hums contently. “What do you think about bees?”
Not really an answer, but he’ll take what he can get. “I don’t care for them.”
“Wrong.”
“Wrong?” How could his own opinion be wrong?
“You love bees, you’re deeply invested in taking them off the endangered species list, why you even have a few bee hives in your farm and give money to the Save the Bees Foundation every month. It’s all very noble of you, boy.” Eshe smiles at him slowly, and picks up the forgotten phone and taps away at something.
“Is that my deal? I take care of bees and you take care of my farm? Why bees? I don’t like bees.” Aaron tells her. He doesn’t know who she thinks he is, he can’t afford to give money to a foundation every month when his business is doing so poorly.
Eshe doesn’t look up from the phone, which bugs Aaron slightly. Why can’t she just give him her full attention? “Did you know that we’ve lost 44% of bee population over the summers of 2015 and 2016? And that the number of bees lost grows every single day? If someone doesn’t do something soon there’s going to be a big problem.” She says it like it’s the only thing that matters.
“If you’re a fertility goddess why aren’t you helping some poor couple have a baby or something?” He asks, annoyed by the entire situation.
Eshe looks up at him blankly. “Couples who want to have babies aren’t my problem. There are other gods and goddesses that they can pray to, but I don’t bother with them unless I need to. My concern is for this world and what’s happening to it.” She tells him firmly.
“But why bees? Why not something else?” Aaron asked.
Eshe groaned. “Bees are one of the most important creatures on this earth; without them we would have next to nothing. Your plants will not grow, which means that your animals have nothing to eat, which means that you have nothing to eat and without anything to eat you will die. To put it in simpler terms for you, boy, everything you value will perish.”
The two had a stare down, and Aaron wanted to say that he stood his ground the whole time, but Eshe’s gaze won out and he gave up.
“How do I save the bees?” Aaron pondered.
Eshe returned to her phone, an annoying habit of hers. “The confirmation emails should be coming in any minute now.”
“What emails? Are you always this cryptic? How did you and my grandmother get along?” Aaron knew he was asking too many questions, yet didn’t have it in him to stop himself.
“You ordered a bee colony, and a few books on bee keeping, and you’re organizing a Save the Bees rally; it really is such a kind thing for you to do if I must say so myself.” Eshe smirked up at him. “Your grandmother would be so proud.”
Dozens of thoughts were running through Aaron’s head at once. He wasn’t sure that he had heard her correctly, but he was almost positive that he had heard every word she said crystal clear.
“So, bees are just going to show up at my house one day?” He asked.
“March first, to be exact. You can’t start a bee hive in the winter, you see, you have to wait until it gets warm or they’ll die and we don’t want that.” Eshe told him. “You can use the time in between to start learning about bees, and how to properly bake.”
“Can I just buy you a cake instead?”
“No.”
“You’re really not helpful at all.” Aaron told her.
Eshe shrugged. “I’ll be back in a week for my cake, and we’ll have another talk to see if you’ve learned anything useful.”
“What about my farm?” Aaron asked.
“Your farm will be back to its former glory when I know you’re invested in this, or when I get my cakes. Whichever one comes first.” Eshe finished her coffee and stood up.
“Do I have any choices in this?” He knew he didn’t, it was nice to ask though.
She stared down at him and then vanished.
Aaron was left confused and intimidated. He needed more than a week to figure things out, and to process what had just happened to him. He didn’t believe a thing Eshe had said, there was no way that a goddess had been in his home. She had just up and vanished and now that he was thinking about it, he was probably just hallucinating. He decided that, after feeding the animals and doing the basic things that needed to be done, he would go to sleep. When he woke up he would forget all about the events of the morning. Yes, that would work.
When Aaron checked his phone later that night there were ten confirmation emails for books about bees (and one cook book), and two bee colonies were going to be delivered to his farm. There was a new text on his phone from a number that Aaron didn’t recognize, and when he opened it the text was made up of those stupid emoji’s that Aaron roughly translated into “Boy learns about bees, Boy saves world”. At that point, Aaron resigned himself to this life...after all, Aaron only had to wait…and learn…
The books came two days later, and by that point Aaron has given up tending to the crops and focused on the animals, which meant that he had plenty of time to read the books that Eshe had gifted him. Bees, Aaron found out, were more interesting than he had originally thought. They were such small creatures but they were so important to the world. All his crops needed bees to survive. Without them half of the farmer’s market would be out of business. Aaron was by no means a scholar, he didn’t feel the need to look things up if he didn’t have to know them; but there was something pulling him towards this, something telling him that he needed to do more, more, more.
Eshe was spread out on his couch the next time he saw her, a book in hand and a plate full of honey cake resting beside her. “This is probably the worst cake I’ve ever had.” She told him in greeting.
Aaron made an offended sound in the back of his throat. “Hello to you too, Eshe.” He threw himself on the chair across from her.
“What have you learned, boy?” She asked.
Aaron thought about the last two weeks of his life, the questions that he had going through his head since she had shown up in his life. He had looked up the name “Eshe” on Google one night and came up with an African goddess of fertility, known to most for helping anyone who left sweets out for her. He didn’t want to believe her, it was the most ridiculous thing that had happened to him, but things were in her favor. He had learned a lot, but was it what she wanted him to know?
“Bees are more important than I am.” He hoped that she would say otherwise, but doubted that she would say anything against the claim.
She hummed approvingly. “And so, what are you going to do?” She prodded gently.
“Save the bees.” Aaron said confidently. It was the only real answer he could give. Save the bees, save everything that’s linked to them, save the environment that is slowly but surely collapsing.
Another approving hum came from the couch. “I heard that there’s a company selling bee t-shirts, all profits go to the foundation.”
Aaron knew where this was going before she could say anything. “How many did I order?”
“Seven, one for every day of the week.”
Aaron shouldn’t be surprised that she would push seven bee themed t-shirts on him, but he was. The two sat in relatively peaceful silence before he had to ask her another question. “Why can’t you just save them? Save all of us this trouble.”
Eshe closed the book and let it rest on her stomach. “If I could fix this I would have fixed it before it was an issue, but it doesn’t work that easily. Man caused this problem, man can fix it and they will fix this. The most me and my fellow gods can do is push you the right way and hope that you get the hint.” She reached for the cake and poked at it with her fork.
Aaron thought about the ice caps that were melting, and the Great Barrier Reef dying and all the things Eshe had told him. Bees were only part of the bigger picture that she had been trying to paint for him. It sounded like she was asking a lot from him, and the research and planning was taxing, but taking care of the bees would be easy. Check on them every other month or so, harvest the honey in the fall, and make sure that they were safe and in return his farm would flourish. Easy, easy, easy.
“How would someone set up one of those fundraisers?” He asked her.
Eshe grinned. “I thought you would never ask.”
#Original things#personal#Eshe and the Bees#writing things#I love Eshe because I made her as ace as possible#ace character#Eshe#Aaron the dumb farmer#save the bees
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AITH for correcting an ethinic student about my hair?
First of all, I say ethnic because i honestly have no idea what their race is. She is a beautiful, dark skined girl with gorgeous curls, but not aftican american skin (Mediterranean maybe?) so saying black felt wrong (if this alone makes me the A-hole tell me in the comments, just trying not to assume things about people.)
Anyway, I (33f) work at a college as a professional aid/assistant. I have naturally aumber/deep red hair. I have Irish, Scottish, and mixed European ancestors. My hair is mixed texture ranging from 2B, 2C, and 3A in different sections (its a hot mess but in a good way okay lol). My hair type comes from my dad's side of the family (he alwayss kept it short) so my mom had no idea how to identify or care for textured hair. I grew up with the standard of wash every day/every other day and brush frequently. Needless to say, my hair was a frizzy mess growing up, and through high school and college I straightened it constantly.
Upon growing into my 30s i realized what my texture really was and educated myself on its care. I now properly care for it (admittedly, at a minimum because I'm lazy). I wash and heavily condition with curly products, minimum rinse, minimum dry, and sleep in a plop. If i feel ambitious i add curl gel or use refresher spry between washes. Thats it, but my waves/curls are beautiful to me and I'm happy.
Enter the student in question (T). After an exam she approached me (i was immediately post wash day so my hair was the most wavy/curly it ever is) and asked to speak to me in private. I thought nothing of it as students often speak to me about their concerns or struggles in classes. T started telling me i am being inappropriate and insensitive for wearing my hair like I do. That it minimizes and appropriates her culture. I was stunned. In told her my hair was naturally like this and she kind of laughed at me, saying it wasn't possible for white people to have hair like mine naturally, and that she knew i had straight hair before (a couple years ago when i was straightening it, i guess?).
I explained my heritage and how i had only recently learned to care for it. I even told her my routine. She called me a liar, and i admit i lectured her after that. I went on about how lots cultures historically had naturally wavy/curly/kinky hair and it was no owned by a single race.
T called me a liar and said i was being insensative to she and her friends. I said sorry but that's just how it goes and i love my hair. She stormed off. The next week after class a group of T's friends came up to me and said i was rude and insensitive to her, and that i needed to be more continuous of their cultural struggles (i won't try to name their race/cultural because they were a diverse group of like 7 ethinic students).
I was not trying to minimize anyones culture, just educate that hair culture can be diverse and doesn't care about skin color. Was that an A-hole move? I mean, i'm paper white and have curly/wavey hair, them saying that its racist to be myseld is actually pretty hurtful to me.
What are these acronyms?
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wibta if i asked someone to adjust how they’re writing a blind character?
this is also rp related 👋 i’m 24. you can use any pronouns for me. i’m legally blind and use screen readers to navigate the internet. i work from home which gives me a lot of freedom, so i fill my time in multi fandom rp servers. they’re a lot of fun, usually
in one server i’m in, there’s someone (28nb) writing a blind character. it’s not an oc of theirs, and the source the character is from is sort of… bad at handling the character’s disability. not offensively bad, it’s just obvious the writers didn’t put much thought into it
i know the person writing the character is not blind. here is my problem: the way they write this character concerning their disability is just… it’s really uncomfortable. the first thing i noted was that they went out of their way to mention the character is blind at basically every opportunity. most conventions the character is in they end up bringing it up, like it’s the default topic they turn to when roleplaying the character. and obviously, as a blind person, i understand it’s a big part of our lives, but to bring it up every single conversation? they had the character make an offhand comment about how they would probably struggle to learn the names of the stores in the area (??? i assume because they wouldn’t be able to read the signs, but there are plenty of other ways to learn store names?) and in another instance the character asked another character to do a google search for them, claiming they couldn’t do it themself. there are just a lot of instances of them obviously over exaggerating how difficult some mundane tasks would be for a person who is blind, in a way that comes off as belittling
the thing that really got to me though is the fact that - despite writing a character who uses a screen reader - this person clearly as no idea how screen readers function or what they do. ic, their character (character a) fussed at another character (character b) for having a slightly erratic typing style. character b does make a lot of typos, but their messages are by no means unreadable. screen readers can be pretty smart and often know how to sound things out. but character a was making a stink about character b saying things like “oki” claiming it was unreadable. any actual, decent screen reader wouldn’t have a problem with that. my screen reader doesn’t have a problem with it, i can interact with character b fine and i always have. i was literally sitting there listening to them complain about messages being unreadable by a screen reader and using a screen reader to understand those “unreadable” messages
it’s so, so obvious that this person has but no work or effort at all into understanding the disability they are trying to write here. it’s extremely uncomfortable. i don’t think it’s done out of malice, but it is lazy and, i’ll say it, reeks of ableism. on one hand i feel bad for trying to dictate how people write their characters, but on the other i feel justified in pointing it out, as someone who is blind. but also this is a casual rp server for fun so it’s… maybe not a big deal? wibta if i asked them to maybe do some research and fix their writing accordingly?
What are these acronyms?
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AITA for not helping out as much as I am expected to?
I (29nb) live with my mom (50sf) and I get a metric ton of shit from people about it. I lot of “creepy person living in their mom’s basement” comments. What no one knows, or seems to care about, is that we’re both disabled and extremely poor, and we are each other’s only support system. We have no family. We have no medical support teams or cleaners or anyone who can come help us out when we need it. What this means is, I do stuff on her bad days, and she does stuff on my bad days. When we’re both bad, stuff just doesn’t get done. We are both fully aware that this system is isolating and sucks, but we literally have no other options.
When I try to explain this to people, sometimes they change their view from me being a creepy leech, and sometimes not. The problem is, they always assume I am the kid taking care of their sick mom and start to pile on all these expectations of me. They always ignore the part where I’m disabled and chronically ill as well. They always ignore when I say that there are certain things I just can’t do, can’t do frequently, or can do but at a very limited capacity. So, no matter how they look at it, I turn into this giant leech in their eyes. This happens every single time. They don’t see my disabilities, they don’t believe me when I say there are things I can’t do, and they start to treat me like shit because in their eyes I’m the lazy kid not doing enough for their mom. And I’m starting to wonder if maybe they’re right. Not all of my problems are health and physical stuff, so a lot of my mental health days are wasted time I could be doing stuff that needs to be done. I’m also younger, so I should be doing more for her than her for me.
Some people are really angry with me for not doing more, and I can’t help but wonder if I really am being lazy. Especially when I think I can probably push through stuff more than my mom can.
AITA?
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WIBTA if i told my friend to, essentially, count their blessings?
sorry for possibly bad english
CONTEXT: me (19 they/them) and my online friend (18 they/them). years ago we bonded over not having friends IRL. they were being bullied and i have some mental issues that make social things difficult (social anxiety, low social battery, tendency to isolate)
then things changed. i got therapy and started talking to some classmates. my friend now has an entire IRL friend group they're very close to.
but this past year was a nightmare for me. i'm not in school anymore and my mental health hit a new low. i can't stay in touch with people, everything is exhausting, i'm back to zero. i'm still in therapy but i'm seriously struggling.
silver lining: talking to people online is a little easier. i don't have online friends aside from this person. but i'm very friendly in videogames (i jump around, spam a little, TBH i'm annoying but it works) and i'm active online and open about my interests, some are crazy popular. basically i have small exchanges with people here and there, very brief and or casual. it looks like nothing but where i'm at RN it means the world to me.
PROBLEM: my friend. every. single. time. they see a mutual commenting on my post, or i tell them i had a nice interaction in a videogame, they say "wow, you're a magnet, everyone always talks to you, nobody ever talks to me, haha, i don't know how you do it since no one even looks at me". seriously, EVERY TIME.
they've been doing this for years. it didn't bother me as much before but things are different now. they have a wonderful IRL friend group, a girlfriend, many online friends they're close to. they literally DO befriend people the same way i do, i don't understand what they're envious of. meanwhile this is all i have and they're fully aware of my situation.
BTW it's okay to feel jealousy and envy, i'm a little envious too, but it's how you act on it that can be rude or insensitive. i keep it to myself because i know my issues aren't their fault. also over the years i reassured them when they acted this way and a few times i introduced them to some of these people i meet. apparently it didn't change anything.
i want to tell them to start thinking about how many friends they have and to stop complaining. kindly. i probably sound irritated because i am. but if i say this i don't want to be mean to them, i'll try to be respectful. i just don't know if i'm in the right to even be annoyed
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AITA for possibly derailing posts about helping other countries?
So I'm on a lot of the social justice free the world sides of social media. My personal focus is on the very recent ethnic cleansing and dissolution of Artsakh and the Armenian refugee crisis. The problem is that no one really talks about it. I see a lot of posts from other people guilting people for not being aware of every single human rights issue in the world which still leave this one out and it's starting to really bother me.
Aside from the guilt trippy "no one is talking about this issue a great many people are actually talking about" posts there are, of course, posts on how to help.
Now, I wouldn't do this on any post about one specific country. I wouldn't go to a post about helping Palestinians with waaaa what about Armenians. But I do go into the comments on posts that are meant to give resources for helping many different communities and mention that people can also donate to organizations like the Armenian Food Bank to help support refugees from Artsakh.
I'm worried I might be TA because the posts are about other places and not the one I'm talking about, but I also think I'm NTA because no one's making posts about it themselves, at least not on Instagram or Tiktok where most people would see them (I have seen a couple posts on tumblr). Again, I don't do it as an "oh well what about" thing, just an additional place people can send support if they have the desire and means to do so and only on posts that are meant to tell people how to help everyone but don't actually cover everyone.
AITA?
What are these acronyms?
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aita for bringing up i got less presents than my friend?
me and my friend live together and we share a pool of internet and real life friends. we tend to all hang out at the same time and talk together with the same frequency, and both our birthdays are well known, with mine being first. most of us are artists and my roommate asks in the group what i'd like drawn for me for my birthday. i give a few responses. come the day and only my roommate made or gave me something. i didn't mind at the time because nobody's obligated to give me a gift, and me giving them all gifts is my own choice. my roommate's birthday rolls around, and there's an outpouring. almost every single person both internet and offline has something to give my roommate. that's great! i was happy for my roommate, so i didn't say anything about it.
now it's several months later. my roommate brings up that one person didn't get to give her a gift, and was apologizing to her over it. my roommate was understanding but made a comment about being sad she got so few gifts. i tried to commiserate in support, mentioning i also didn't get a lot, and how it was good we got to spend time with our friends anyway. she went, "you got more gifts than i did." i corrected her, saying the only one who gave me something was her. she got real quiet and now is refusing to speak to me. i've tried reaching out a couple times but she just gives me angry looks. maybe i shouldn't have brought it up in the first place?
some of our mutual friends are now no longer speaking to me even though i haven't said anything to them at all about not getting anything. i assume my roommate did.
am i the asshole for bringing it up? (also some advice would be appreciated. how do i apologize properly? i miss my friends.)
What are these acronyms?
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AITA for lying to my brother?
My brother (8 M) eats a lot of McDonald's. Like a lot a lot. To where I (16 M) worry for him developing Heart Disease very very early. I've brought this concern up to my grandparents, but they brush me off every single time, they can't ever say "no" to the kid, and its very very frustrating.
Cut to today - my bro comes up to me and says he's gonna try the Grimace Birthday shake, but the kid has semi internet access so he's learned about the memes. He tells me about how the shake has killed people "but a commenter said it was really good" so he wants to try it, and then the idea struck.
So my ass told him that the memes were true ; Grimace exists and he comes after every single person that drinks a beverage from McDonald's. Ronald McDonald on the other hand targets people that eat from McDonalds, they work hand and hand like Bonnie and Clyde. I also told him that I ate from McDonalds once and its why I avoid eating from it; ronald mcdonald showed up at my doorstep ready to kill and I had to hide and survive for 8 hours before the murder clown lost interest. Every single time I eat McDonalds though I relive the dread and I have to fight all over again.
(A half truth because eating McDonalds does send me into a depressive spiral weirdly enough??? Is that normal)
He believed it, poor lil man was terrified, but I calmed him down and reassured him that he didn't eat anything from McDonald's as of late, he was safe. He asked if he could eat burger King instead, which.. not good but its not McDonalds, baby steps. I said yes but "Keep the portion sizes low because you never know if Burger King has a murder clown of their own" because of course that's a normal thing to tell your brother what do you mean thats abnormal
So he went to bed after we played some roblox, and I'm left to ponder it all. I feel like an ass, am I an asshole??? I'm thinking of learning how to cook good stuff so my bro doesn't have to eat constant takeout, but still, is this overkill???
What are these acronyms?
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AITA for telling a bunch of pricks to quit the fandom?
Most of you here hate Kpop and its fans but I'm still sending it because many of you are friends with people like them for other reasons, I know this for a fact. So ignore I suppose.
I'm Asian, I was mutuals with some Americans and one European fan from other fandoms, they all became very casual Kpop fans relatively recently and they do all this:
• Pick fights with fans of western artists for small things nobody really cares about, using fandom and the Faves as shield, which gets them to send hate to our faves who we know have dealt with a lot of cyberbullying for years.
Kpop fans all get conscious about mental health and cyberbullying for about an hour when something bad happens, but don't stop doing it and say that specifically our faves are "too sensitive and selling their trauma" which is another thing, I digress.
• Laugh at jokes made my antis cuz it's not serious, often these jokes are racist and dehumanizing but normal to them.
• Laugh with their mutuals from other fandoms when they make jokes based on rumours, like one time they thought it was funny that one of the Faves got called p*dophile by antis just bcs he's a man who likes kids and is playful with kids he meets, only women can like kids unproblematically apparently.
• Play "devil's advocate" when bigger accounts or inflencers talk shit about the Faves, most of the time it's biased hateful nonsense but to them supporting it is a sign of being mature fans who can take criticism.
They do this all the time, genuine love for an artist is beneath them, kpop is beneath them it's not Ackshually Art no since Koreans also don't take it seriously?! It's just that the bragging opportunities and clout is good around here!
• Act like SJWs most of the time but constantly make microaggressive comments about Korean people in their private chats, joke about mandatory military service, call themselves misandrists yet judge the women in Kpop like they're dolls, get into discourse they have no clue about and give their shitty takes, tell everyone else they don't know Anything about kpop but still partake in these fanwars and discourses, bring the worst takes from twitter to tumblr out of context for laughs, judge Every Single Thing thru American/ western lens and expect us all to know their double entendre and culture etc.
I got fed up, nobody else says anything to their face because they can spin it to make it like us Mainly Kpop fans are rabid obsessive weirdos who care too much about strangers and they're rational mature women of varying refined taste who merely observe kpop from a healthy distance. And I told them to stop being in the fandom if they're gonna be everything but fans. You tell me how all that is fan behavior? They call themselves fans but oh they're too busy adulting to even listen to a 5 year old album, not busy when it is about trashtalking their own faves and fandom, okay!
But apparently I was too rude, the audacity of me to call leftist wocs racist! I cannot tell them what they can or cannot do! So here we are.
What are these acronyms?
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Am I the asshole for not being able to vacation?
Every year since 2021, my whole family has gone on an expensive overseas vacation... except myself and my spouse.
Now, it isn't so much that I'm not welcome. My mom even offered to pay for our plane tickets and hotel. It's that we're not really able to go, even with those expenses paid, for a multitude of reasons.
1) My dog requires medical attention and I can't afford to kennel him.
2) I don't get enough time off from my workplace. They're usually gone for a whole month, but I only get 3 weeks off in a year- and that's if I have no sick days or unavoidable appointments I need that time for.
3) My spouse is cripplingly afraid of planes, and I would not feel right leaving them behind.
4) Why are we pretending covid isn't still an issue, this is still very much a concern, even vaccinated.
The first year this happened, 2021, my sister and her kids were going to go by themselves and invited mom and myself to join on our own dime. Mom was able to go and I wasn't, but that wasn't really upsetting to me, because the decision to go or not was spontaneous.
The next year, 2022, they all told me ahead of time they were going to do this and I thought, at first, I might be able to, but over the course of the year our dog got sick, my spouse divulged their fear to me, and I realized saving up the vacation time is unreasonable, if not impossible. I told them I couldn't join after all, but they still went, and I wasn't upset because I had been planning to go.
Then in 2023 they said they were going again and invited me again, and i was upset because I told them I couldn't and why the previous year, but apparently they didn't understand that these problems I have are permanent. I then made it clear that for the foreseeable future, joining them on such a vacation is impossible for me.
Now here is where I may be the asshole:
This year I found out they are going again and I freaked out. I accused them of shutting me out of the family, and told them they were all assholes for going when I can't.
Then my mom talked to me and said that my and my spouse were always invited, and it's always our decision not to go. She said that I was welcome to also make plans of my own, such as a road trip one day travel away, and we could do those as a family too.
But if I were to plan such a trip, I would be expected to plan one that I can afford my own expenses for, and money is really tight. I honestly don't know how my single-mom-on-one-income sister can afford to keep going with her kids (and yes, she's paying their own way, I asked if my mom was paying for them too and she is not).
Am I the asshole for believing that it isn't a family vacation if not all of us can go? Am I the asshole for telling them they are shutting me out of the family? Do I have any right to demand my family not go on a vacation when I can't?
#thank you for the submission!#polls#tumblr polls#aita#aita polls#aitah polls#poll blog#aitah#long post
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would i be the asshole if i stoped talking to my friend because i feel like all of her achievements completely overshadow me and its taking a toll on my self esteem?
my friend and i are in a lot of classes together and she consistently gets much better grades than me. weve been friends for years so ive gotten used to it but its slowly getting on my nerves again. i am smart and i get decent grades but everytime i tell her how i did on a test or project in one of my classes and im proud of how i did she tells me her grade and its always like 10-20 points more than mine. we did a partner project together and somehow she got a 95 when i got a 85. i got an 80 on our ap bio exam and i was super proud and then she tells me she got a 100. i do well in my classes but shes better at everything. not only is she better at school shes an amazing artist, a flute player, and a really good swimmer. i always try to be supportive of her but everything she does is better than anything i can do. i also feel like she isnt as supportive of my interests as i am of hers because ive been in around 7 theater performances and she hasnt been to a single one but ive been to almost every single one of her flute performances and a few swim meets. i do really like her and we share a ton of interests but i feel like i need time away from her so i stop comparing myself to her. i dont know what to do tho because shes been my closest friend at school since we were freshman and i dont have many friends other than her.
#thank you for the submission!#polls#aita#tumblr polls#aita polls#aitah polls#poll blog#aitah#am i the asshole#reddit
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