#every other jfk before this one was terrible

[gorillaxyz]

sorry to all my jfk followers and mutuals. i promise to continue practicing

[mooremars]

Camelot 2023 Act 1 ramblings about the music and book and also the visuals again because turns out 3,000 words wasn't enough.

I cannot possibly recommend anyone actually read this because it is so absurdly, comically long but I needed to get some feelings out. Also it's in two parts because apparently Tumblr has a maximum character count and I hit it.

Overture

• Firstly, female conductor, we love to see it

• I love overtures and entr'actes and this show's is so good

• Shoutout to the orchestra

• I have never experienced a bad Broadway orchestra but still doesn't mean they do not deserve serious praise

• Does just the instrumental of Camelot make me very emotional and think about fundamental human goodness?

• Yes, this show did its job

• The end of the If Ever I Should Leave You part is just permanantly in my brain as the part during bows where they point to the orchestra

• Whatever the music that plays as everyone starts walking onstage is epic

• The vibe is set and I'm ready

Act 1 Scene 1: A hilltop near the castle at Camelot

• I've said it once and I'll say it one thousand times, I am obsessed with the way they've used the space in this show

• I love that they can walk up the back of the stage, I love that they have the stairs in front, I love that they've got so many exit and entrance points

• Sorry to the actors who probably had to do a lot of running around but it was fun for me

• As much as I like spectacle, I don't inherently prefer it over this kind of more minimalist thing

• But I do feel like they did a good job at conveying scale and drama even though the set is extremely minimal

• "I have the exact same amount of information that you do" just immediately starts the show off on the right foot

• This is a new take and I was here for it instantly

• And such a funny way to deliver a ton of exposition, this will be the first of what will become the prevailing theme of my rambling which is I adore Sorkin's writing beyond measure

• Merlyn's delivery drenched in sarcasm for every line is perfect and we clearly see where Arthur gets it from

• Specifically "do you know what calamity means?"

• But also "things in England are changing too fast"/"words that have never before been spoken"

• Establishing Sagramore in a funny way that becomes so serious by the end

• We jump right into the Sorkin dialouge rhythm and it feels so right

• There's the perfect amount of everyone overlapping each other and finishing the other characters' thoughts

• And also the jaunty music when most of the guards leave, like I don't exactly know why it sounds like that since it doesn't fit but I love it anyway

• I know it's part of at least the movie's score but like to me it's still strange, I've been calling it clown music in my head

• The difficulty finding the king exchange and also the pheasant hunting exchange are so funny and set the tone so well

• Can you see I'm attempting not the write out every line of dialouge?

• But also I love that we get this little build to Arthur to wonder what the hell is going on with this guy

• Because if you're me, you've come into this show with basically the association with JFK and that's it

• So I had no clue and was curious

• The knights have like mostly terrible points but Sagrimore's delivery of "snear all you like but five minutes ago we were at war with that girl's county and tomorrow I'll be swearing an oath to protect her with my life"

• He's not wrong

• The knights are so good, the actors are perfect

• Every bit of casting is inspired and those three are no exception

• "Arthur get the hell out of the tree"

• Again with no context, the tree really got me

• "Hiding, I'm obviously hiding" - I am instantly in, the delivery on this line is so funny

• Okay fine I was in from the way he said hello, also a hilarious delivery

• My roommate brought up immediately how effective it is not to have him do a British accent and how it again just makes Arthur relatable - genius

• Whatever voice he's doing is a perfect choice

• Also young Arthur is so much the right choice it's staggering to me that they ever did it any other way

• They thread the needle so perfectly of Arthur being young but not in a way where he's like an incompetent child

• Which I feel like is actually how some of the other versions with older actors still managed to come off

• But this Arthur is just young and trying

• "My mouth disconnects from my brain"/"I've witnessed that"

• As like a character note, I love that exchange but I also was worried this was gonna be what it usually is, which is a male character who cannot treat a woman like a human person

• But no, Arthur has absolutely no problem with that, his mouth only disconnects from his brain when he's trying to confess feelings and that is 1000% more endearing

• "Years of tutoring in philosophy and law, why didn't you ever teach me about love and marriage?"/"You're not marrying for love and there's nothing about it that can be taught."

• To which my roommate that I dragged to see this twice and who has just been forced to talk about this show with me, maintains that perhaps you could maybe convey that relationships are about communication

• That lesson might've helped just a bit

• "You're not marrying for love" like Merlyn is trying to warn Arthur and he sure did not listen

• "They should be reading" Arthur babe they literally can't, it's the Middle Ages

• Also the establishment of no magic is so deftly handled

• Arthur complaining that people think that dragons are real and you get exactly what this world is

• I love that I Wonder What the King is Doing tonight becomes his noble king music

• Also I just absolutety love any time anything has a recurring musical theme it just lights up some part of my brain every time

• The yelling of "he's scared" and all of the subsequent lyrics in that spot is again hilarious and just very good characterization

• Also the delivery of the slaying a dragon part whatever that singing accent is I love it

• Actually the way he sings all the parts where he's imagining what other people are saying

• The other characters have a lot of songs that are gorgeous and require some incredible vocals and songs with fun lyrics and fun performances but not at lot of them get to infuse this much personality and character into the songs through just the delivery

• Don't know if that's from the original or not but it's one of my favorite characters introductions I've seen in a bit

• From what I've seen this is definitely an escalation of previous versions and I adore it

• He's so annoyed, he hates this shit so much and he's so funny

• I mean also lots of credit to the lyrics because they are obviously very funny

• I love this song a lot

• Arthur's "shhhhit" when he realizes that he's managed to run into his future wife

• The multi-layered complication line, so quintessential Arthur

• The contrast between the gorgeous Julie Andrews channeling singing and Genny's brashness in her movement and dialouge

• Like obviously that's already in the lyrics but the book and direction just stretches it

• Everyone knew Phillipa Soo was going to be perfect and she is

• A lot of my strongest impressions are about Arthur

• Because I had no idea who the actor was and because in the limited amount of adaptations I'm familiar with of this whole story, Arthur is the bad guy or a good but extremely boring guy

• But I knew going in that I was gonna love Guenevere and Phillipa Soo even if I've never seen her on stage before

• So it was unsurprising

• Like my expectations were sky-high and she's so talented in every way and the writing for Genny is so good that she exceeded them anyway

• And she's so damn funny

• Obviously the whole rescued in the wood bit is already just a good joke and I'm honestly impressed with how funny the original songs are

• I am a sucker for the thing in stories where we know what's going to happen because they've been told so many times

• When they have a character say something the audience knows is foreshadowing

• "Cause a little war" is what I'm thinking of in this moment but there are tons and every time it's a hit with me

• The delivery of the clause one bit is perfect and her backing Arthur into falling on the bench and then just turning around and back to angelic singing

• The turnaround from the aggressiveness to the extremely soft and feminine singing is brilliant

• "The more knights slaughter each other, the fewer there are to slaughter the rest of us"

• The exchange about the dowry still being in the carriage

• Their deliveries are so funny

• They immediately bounce off of each other perfectly

• And Genny not even escaping with the dowry she's supposed to be using to buy her freedom, amazing

• "What is power uuuused for? That is a very interesting question."

• Genny just immediately knocking Arthur's socks off

• Trying to write out some of the word deliveries he does is so hard but there are a few that absolutely kill me

• They've known each other for five minutes and they're already having a debate

• "I've known kings, I'm daughter of a king so marrying a king doesn't have the same allure for me that it apparently has for you"

• She just speeds through those words at the end and it's great

• "They run to here" is another bit of hilarious delivery but I also love the contrast it sets up between Arthur trying to be kingly in a way that doesn't fit versus later when he does it his own way

• I could listen to them go back and forth saying why for ten minutes

• Genny's incredulousness when he says the weather

• I can't remember but I think she's walking away and then just turns to stare at him in absolute confusion

• Like he's so ridiculous that she can't help but engage

• I did a quick bit of intermission math and we know this takes place seven months before the Lusty Month of May which is obviously happening in May

• So Arthur is literally singing to Genny about how there's no winter until December while at best - assuming the one month later and six months later are rounded up - it is snowing at the absolute beginning of November

• More likely October

• No wonder Genny thinks he's full of shit

• His improv did not pan out

• This is a joke for me, thank you Aaron Sorkin

• Do love that canonically, Arthur is in fact singing the song Camelot - that he just made up in a panic - what a dork

• Genny's little interjections of skepticism are all so funny

• Also just instantly establishing her as someone you love

• She's perfect

• But my favorite is "my escape is time sensitive, do you understand that?"/Arthur still singing/"no he does not"

• These actors are both hilarious, the amount of stuff required of musical theater actors continues to blow my mind

• Like not only to do the whole singing, dancing, and acting thing but then you have to convey it to a whole theater but also not overact to the people up close and be able to do comedy and drama how

• I was in practically the back row up top and not a good view but extremely close (like seeing the actors spit close) on the side for the under 35 tickets and then also in very good seats and the performances by literally everyone never felt too much or not enough

• "Are there any other people in these woods you could recommend?"

• Also this moment which is the cutest thing you've ever heard

• Do I remember exactly what happened? No. But do I know it was adorable? Yes.

• "And we have poets in France"/"Oh yes of course... But do you?"/Genny angrily naming French poets/"Understood" and he's already singing again

• The entire performance of this song and especially getting her to sing along, so charming in the most annoying way

• But also she's sort of into it which is cute

• I do see on YouTube that there was a bit more to this French poets discussion which was probably right to cut but I am delighted to find literally anything new

• Sidebar

• I have been known to have issues with staying present when I watch things and not letting my mind start wandering. And one of the reasons I knew Camelot was good the first time was that I was totally engaged the whole show. But the last time, I did have the one moment where a thought popped into my brain during this song that completely threw me out of it

• And that thought was "this Barbie has taken a carriage ride to hell" after Genny says that line and like why brain?

• (For the record Genny and Arthur are both Barbies. They are everything. Lance is just Ken. Perfecting his body and soul is his beach. He is Kenough. Arthur and Genny have a terrible day every day. Lance only has a terrible day if Arthur and/or Genny look at him.)

• (I believe I have come up with a combination of words that have never been spoken before and perhaps a genuinely new opinion on a thousand year old legend)

• (In a bad way)

• Anyway

• The pure chaotic comedy of the knights finding Arthur and Genny freaking out is not something I can articulate but I adored so much

• Phillipa Soo is stealing the whole show in this one

• Does Genny come out of her hiding spot with her mouth wide open before she gets on the ground or am I misremembering?

• "We call that a sin of omission your majesty"

• With no remose "oh we call it that too"

• "Were you never going to tell me?"/"No I was going to get to it"/"When?"/"After I told you about the weather"

• Not a single bit of remose again

• I don't have anything to say, I just think the exchange is very funny

• I love not making Arthur any kind of royalty, he is truly just some guy

• Like I'm reading The Once and Future King and Arthur's lineage is so weirdly complicated and I just don't care, I like him as some guy

• "He discovered he didn't have his sword because I left it at... a house, that doesn't matter, that's my fault"

• Now that's a line that is funny on time one and fills you with dread afterwards

• The most exasperated "I was just going to borrow it for the day"

• Something about the delivery of "when I opened my eyes the square was filled with people shouting god save the king"

• Like Arthur never actually says out loud that he didn't want to be king but Genny gets it right away

• "I see you now, you're just a boy wearing a crown you never wanted sitting atop a throne two sizes too big"

• Just an absolute cutting response but Arthur doesn't take it that way at all, he's so earnest

• She reads him to filth but it doesn't even rattle him, he just takes it because it's true

• Gorgeous writing in what she says and his response

• "But provenance has put us both here, both of us highness and want it or not we are commanded to wear that crown and to grow into that throne"

• Chills, the delivery is outstanding

• We finally get King Arthur

• And Genny being convinced, all it took was one genuine moment and she's ready to engage

• Then Arthur again just taking so passionately about what he wants Camelot to be

• No wink, no sarcasm, no shame

• This show is unabashedly sincere and optimistic and I love it

• Genny falls in love with Arthur, I fall in love with Arthur, Genny falls in love with Camelot the idea, I fall in love with Camelot the show

• Everyone including the audience and Arthur were already in love with Genny for Phillipa Soo reasons so there's no moment for that one

• I feel like the trope-y thing would be to have Genny be a cynic here but no, she's just as much of an idealist as him

• She put up a little front of cynicism at the beginning but as soon as she gets the option of hope, she's choosing it instantly

• "Or you can stay. And together we may discover if power might be harnessed as a force of good"

• Like he's instantly treating her as a partner in this endeavor

• And I Wonder What the King is Doing Tonight playing under it so beautifully and then the seamless musical transition back to Camelot is so perfect

• I am music stupid so I wish I had something to say about it but your songs have got to be tight to flow that way

• "I don't know if I'm worthy" also just a heartbreaker

• We don't really get to hear anything about Genny's life in France but she's clearly very opinionated and competent and I wonder if besides the whole wanting romance and adventure thing

• She also had an idea of what the life of a queen is like

• After all she's the daughter of one

• And she didn't imagine having this kind of role in actual ruling and doesn't know whether she can live up to this ideal that Arthur has set

• Like maybe she thought the only way she'd get to impact the world was knights killing each other over her or being the cause of a war, at least that's something

• But now she has a chance at more and she's grabbing it

• Genny singing the reprise is so beautiful thematically - it makes me a little teary just watching her instantly be like I see your dream and understand it and I want to be part of it but via some of the best singing maybe ever

• Such an amazing recontextualization from the original

• I've seen little clips of this reprise from 1961 and this one just feels warmer and more meaningful because it's about the ideals and not them confessing love at first sight

• And somehow more romantic

• They're instantly established as a team who share intellectual and philosophical similarities

• To so quickly convey that and make it believable

• It not only cements their relationship but makes them characters you root for

• And then the sounds of people coming in as soon as or maybe even before they get to finish singing together, like it's their world and they're falling for each other but there's no time, they're king and queen now and that will always supercede their relationship

• Also something about the moment when Arthur introduces her to the court just also really gets me

• "She's nice... some of the time"

• It's cute how smitten he is with her, all of her, immediately

• "Something about her makes me want to be a better king" (so Arthur is actually capable of expressing a romantic thought, don't get used it it)/"She's very attractive"/"Oh she is but it's not that"/"Arthur"/"Well it's not just that"

• I love the way they flip the speech Arthur gives Genny from the original about not feeling like a king until now meeting her

• But now that they've actually gotten to know each other a bit and it's after she's agreed to stay it actually makes sense here

• I do also love that even though he can't manage it to Genny's face, he does feel completely comfortable expressing his feelings about her to Merlyn

• The "oh she is" is so cute, he's so excited

• The music under his conversation with Merlyn before he starts just monologuing, very ominous

• I'm obsessed with it

• "We finally have peace" is another line delivery that I just need to sit and think about

• The joy of it, the relief

• Again the idea that Arthur has been a king at war this whole time

• Merlyn mentions, as part of a joke but still, almost as soon as we meet Arthur that he's fought armies

• He's not optimistic about the world because he hasn't seen conflict

• He's more determined because he sees what it does

• Channeling best man in all fiction Waymond Wang this is how I fight energy and that's very my shit

• Very much my shit might be a slight understatement

• It might not be surprising to learn that Arthur is my favorite thing about this show, they revamped this character so well

• So much of my life was spent in the media age of male anti-heroes and I love that we've returned to a point of male heroes

• Arthur idealistically talking about how they can finally start making Camelot for everyone and Merlyn walking off stage while the ensemble sings I think the part from the cut song and I assume some new stuff that's very Medieval church music

• So so good

• "What do I do next?" so eager and then just the emotional drop-off to his scared little boy when it becomes clear what's happening "Merlyn?"

• Stunning performance

• I think Arthur falls to his knees at some point but I'm already doubting

• The "what the hell do I do now?"

• Perfect scene ender

Act 1, Scene 2: The King's study - one month later

• The transition music between scenes is always good

• It's gonna be a struggle not to just quote this whole scene

• "Arthur, please call me Arthur" is so desperate like he has no one now, no actual human connections to him as a person instead of a king now that Merlyn is gone

• And then asking what she was called back home, he wants connection so badly

• And probably he still feels guilty for taking her from her home to be his wife

• "I was a royal princess, I didn't have friends"

• Well there is a reason they're both terrible at relationships

• I also love the way Phillipa Soo says Arthur in such a stilted way at the beginning of this scene and it becoming more natural every time she does it

• Genny telling him he's not attending to his duties with enthusiasm like she is not the least bit afraid to challenge the king a month in

• Love to see it

• Arthur's "I beg your pardon" when she asks about cortesans and the look he gives her

• "My father kept his women, his extra women, in their own wing of the palace. Where are yours? Might they cheer you up?"

• Genny the proactive problem solver

• Also something about the way she says extra women makes me laugh

• "I don't have extra women, I'm a married man. You were at my wedding" perhaps one of my favorite deliveries and lines in the whole show

• Genny's point of view in this scene is very interesting

• Like she does bring up that it's his legal right instead of dropping the whole thing and that's a choice

• Does she think he's lying about not having cortesans and reminding him that she is legally obligated to be cool with it so to be honest?

• Or is she just baffled by Arthur and his choices because this is a normal thing for a king to her?

• Or maybe since she already has feelings, she's trying to balance her own expectations to not get hurt?

• Possibilities

• "I'm aware of my legal right in that regard and I assure you I have no intention - oh my god - no intention of exercising it"

• Specifically the delivery of oh my god but the whole thing, he is so offended

• "And making the world into Camelot, are you abstaining from that too or will men at honor continue to plunder villages and take, rape, and kill whatever they please?"

• Genny

• Genny you are a hero

• She's so smart and fierce and unafraid to stand up to Arthur

• "I didn't make the world"/"You make a part of it"

• Arthur being so defensive and Genny calmly holding her ground

• She's taken to her new role so well

• And then Arthur admitting he doesn't know how to proceed without Merlyn, I love the way he builds trust in her in this scene

• "What would he say?"/"He'd say my god you're the slowest student anyone's ever tried to teach"/"Well I can convincingly say that"/"It's good that you mock me, kings should be mocked from time to time, it brings people pleasure. But for the record it's no fun for the king"

• Genny sounding so pleased with herself, Arthur getting out another sarcastic response

• Also what a lie, it is fun for him

• Mocking each other and public policy are their love languages

• "He once explained why but I got distracted because a white tailed eagle flew right by" with the most excitement and boyishness

• And then starting to go off on a tangent about eagles

• Never change Arthur

• I just think it's sweet the way she redirects him because she's fully committed herself to the idea of Camelot and her role in it

• "Pace freely at your own pace"

• Another brilliant line and delivery

• Channeling some Mary Poppins here

• Genny getting Arthur to think is so good

• "You had to pace and comcentrate to arrive at that?"/"It's hard to imagine why your country was willing to part with you"

• The proposition/resolved structure of this scene is very good

• And also that he starts with this pessimistic tantrum about human nature and Genny guides him back on track

• It's a great relationship moment but it also lets Arthur have some struggle and lets Genny be for Arthur what he was for her in the first scene

• Arthur collapsing on the floor and muttering "extra women" like wow he cannot handle being thought of as not a good person

• "That's it?"/"Wait"/"I wasn't going anywhere"

• Her being on the floor with him, gently pushing him

• He can't even maintain cynicism for more than a few minutes

• Them building the idea of the round table together, this is peak romance

• I can't just quote this scene in its entirety but every moment of it is a delight of them passing ideas back and forth

• "Isn't it also about the law?"/"It is"

• A standout delivery

• I love when they're working out the wordings like they make each other better

• "The law will be the stone upon which this rock - the rock upon - wait the church?"/"Have mercy"/"The law will be the rock upon which this church is built"/"Nothing can be more important"/"Nothing can be as important"

• This is what I love about Sorkin's writing

• The way that he has characters discuss ideas

• Like everything is an exciting discovery

• There's no singing in this scene but it has so much rhythm and is so compelling when in another writer's hands it would be boring and forgettable

• I broke out a chunk but it's so dense there are so many words and I love each one

• Genny counting down to his return, she already knows him so well

• Again I am trying not to type out every line

• I think they both yell for the page but I'm actually not sure, either way they are so excited and yelling something

• The new book has done so much to deepen their relationship, I adore these idealistic little nerds

• Arthur cannot contain himself

• His attempt to cool things down for himself by taking his hands off her face and then "you were very helpful, thank you"

• Smooth

• Convincing

• Definitely professional and platonic

• Truly do not know how Genny does not realize he's in love with her at this point but she sure is not gonna get better at that

• "And I suppose France too"/"I know that hurt"/"A little bit" and then he laughs it's adorable

• They're both so giddy here

• "Arthur I did already know that about you, that you were a decent fellow"/"I'm glad"

• They're in love. They are so in love.

• Arthur has taken on Genny's tone for the word inspiration when he talks to the knights

• "You've invited the French" every time Sagramore says it, it's just as funny

• "We may not be born equal"/"We are not sire" (with so much contempt)/"So our laws will make us equal" (with no room for disagreement)

• The immediate conflict

• And we see Arthur being a king and taking a hard line which we don't get to see much in this show and I love it

• "What about God's laws?"/"Not. Our. Jurisdiction" like are we sure this is not actually from the west wing

• I'm internally cheering when I hear it, I love this line far too much

• It's funny but also authoritative and kingly

• I get that some people do not vibe with Sorkin's style and that's fine but I very much do

• This show is so for me it's kind of incredible it was not made with that purpose

• A Sorkin character who would love Sorkin's work, I just adore it

• And according to the funniest line from any review I read, also has Sorkin's haircut

• That just lives in my brain because it's funnier than any piece of media criticism I will ever hear

• The knights already dissenting is very good but also that they don't fully agree yet with each other

• They build it in immediately and that's such a good choice, it makes every escalation feel totally plausible instead of the knights just easily falling for Mordred's bullshit

• Dinadan quoting Plato's ideas and saying how they're the well-educated people who should be in charge is great

• I love that the knights get to be characters and have thoughts

• Their constant vacillating between loyalty to the king and loyalty to the power structure they benefit from

• One of my favorite running tensions

Act 1, Scene 3: The countryside outside of Camelot - six months later

• The performance of C'est Moi is so funny

• Going 100% immediately

• Jordan Donica was just as perfectly cast as everyone else

• The lyrics are so funny and then he is just so loud

• His little whispered "C'est Moi" after the second verse while posing is so much funnier than it is on the cast recording

• "Had I been made the partner of Eve/we'd be in Eden still" is my favorite lyric

• The scream on clean destroys me

• Lance is always at a 10 and he's so delusional, I'm obsessed with him

• There's so much loud breathing in this performance which I love

• And whirling his sword around the stage

• "Beware enemies of Arthur do you hear me beware, from this moment you answer to me" while Arthur is literally unconscious behind him, this is comedy

• "You raised your sword to me"/"Oh I was saying hello"/"I did not know that"

• Lance is not sorry at all and it's hilarious

• He's just on another planet compared to everyone else and I love it

• Also Arthur so pure, just seeing a random person and trying to say hi

• Like you're the king of the country, you do know many people are not exactly going to be friendly, right?

• "I honestly thought I was more recognizable to the French"

• "Have you changed your Francs to English shillings?"/"Why?"/"This man's face is on money"

• Arthur subtly trying to tell Lance what's happening but the word subtle is not in Lance's vocabulary

• "I'm underwhelming in person"

• Says the man that keeps making French people instantly fall in love with him in the woods

• "My security detail... right in the nick of time"

• "I beg your majesty to forgive for me for by forgiving me I'll suffer even more"

• Lance is screaming the whole time

• I don't know how he does it

• "But my strength comes from purity of spirit"/"What was that?"/"Purity of spirit, my personal relationship with the almighty, he favors me"/"I'd keep that to yourself"

• I can't write it out but this

• And this is about to have to switch out for the rest of the show so like even more screaming somehow

• He's so funny, it isn't reasonable

• Also love that his language is the least modern of them

• It fits

• Seems like some of his lines come directly from the original book and it works amazingly

• "Be a faultless example to children" is another iconic delivery

• Also Lance asking for a mission, incredible

• He just plays everything so straight and it's perfect

• Like not a single acknowledgement of the ridiculousness of this character

• Arthur will literally get a concussion to avoid a social function, relatable

• "Until you came along and whacked me in my head"/"AND FOR THAT I BEG YOUR HARSHEST PUNISHMENT"/"Nope, nope, we're not going back to that"

• Yes the all caps is necessary, Lance is always speaking in caps, if he lived in a time a cell phones all of his texts would look like that

• And Arthur's tone when he responds

• When Lance starts singing again and then Arthur just says nope so many times

• This is their whole relationship

Act 1, Scene 4: A park near the castle

• This scene is just a magnificent Phillipa Soo showcase that we have been blessed with

• Like she is just so talented and I am blown away

• There's a reason Lusty Month of May is the song they have the most out there

• "The birds and the bees with all of their vast/amorous past/gaze at the human race aghast" is my favorite and she does it so perfectly

• Also the intro music just exactly captures that buzzy spring feeling

• My roommate and I both had the experience where the first time we saw the show, none of the music stuck with us

• And then the second time, all of the sudden it burrows into your brain

• This burrowed first because of course, it's so vibrant and lovely

• The original music is so good and somehow the transition from the more modern dialouge into the songs is seemless

• Genny has two missions: justice for all and bringing sex to England

• Look there's none in her own marriage and she needs an outlet, make those people kiss, it's all you have

• Genny's so fun and adorable in this song and it's perfect and I have no notes

• I'm just gonna go watch the today show performance and bask in it, this is the most classic Broadway musical sequence in the whole thing

• I love the idea that she's inviting all these normal people in and the beginning of the knights absolutely hating it

• "Be right quieter"

• And when they refer to Genny as a guest in the country

• The original is very and everyone loves her and I love that there's this tension where the people with power don't like her but everyone else does

• They say all the quiet parts out loud in this scene

• The show needs the knights so badly to show the discontent growing over time

• But they still respect tradition enough to enforce respect for the queen on Pellinore

• "I've only lived here a short time"/"Oh and you're already the queen, well done"/"I really had nothing to do with it"

• "Full of youth he was but brooding over problems that would confound Solomon. Ever met him your majesty?"/ "Constantly, he's my husband."

• With such affection ahhhh

• "You must be Morgan Le Fay... oh how he'd go on about the loveliness of Morgan Le Fey, her unsurpassing beautiful"

• Genny getting emotionally slapped in the face, it hurts so much

• The first crack in their relationship because they couldn't talk to each other...

• "I'm glad that nice young man found a nice young lady"

• Why does this make me feel things?

• I love the royal music every time

• "As you were everyone, pick grapes, eat flowers, or uh the other way around"

• Arthur and Genny's little catch up about Pelli is very cute, we don't get to see them be cute for a while after this so I just want to appreciate it

• Lance having no social awareness and continuing to make proclamations while Genny could not care less and is actively trying to speak to someone else, brilliant

• Genny and Arthur just waiting for Lance to stop talking after she keeps being interrupted and then Genny rushing out her lunch invitation and Arthur rushing out his response

• Arthur immediately wanting to run ideas by Genny, she is crucial to the development of Camelot and it's very much not a secret

• Arthur's "uh oh" when Lance is doing some casual misogyny

• "That sounded like a friendly exchange of pleasantries"/"It was not"

• No fucks for Genny today

• I wish I could one day know the translation of Genny and Lance's friendly exchange of pleasantries

• "Who would serve as the standard?"/"Oh certainly not me your majesty"/"See no hubris"/"My standards are much too high"/"Dammit Lance"

• "Have you achieved perfection milord?"/"Please say no"/"Of course I haven't your majesty"/"Good"/"Refining the soul is an endless struggle... but physical perfection"/"No"/"Yes"/"Go back to speaking French"

• "And in your quest for spiritual perfection have you considered the value of humility?"/"Ah something we should all consider. In fact let's take two minutes of silence to consider the value of humility."

• The dialouge between the three of them is so funny in this scene

• The ship is sinking and Arthur is just there with a tiny bucket while Lance and Genny keep creating giant new holes

• Genny calling Lance a jackass is both hilarious and also so valid

• "She already has an affectionate nickname for you"

• We have officially reached the beginning of the end, well we had some nice moments

• Like imagine if Pelli didn't start going on about how in love Arthur was with Morgan and then Arthur didn't show up with his new best friend who immediately implied women were too stupid to engage in government

• Genny was having a no fucks day and was probably ready to do a stupid thing and maybe that stupid thing was her husband

• A true tragedy

• "And with humility I"

• Dinadan's line deliveries are so dry and good

• And Genny's laugh

• "And whom will the three of you want to impress?"/"We want to impress the king too."/"Ah yes English men"

• I love the knights, they've all got their own little comedic touches in this song

• Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss Genny

• Take Me to the Fair is a masterpiece

• I don't know what constitutes a hot take about this show because there are 5 people talking about it

• But my hot take is that as much as Lusty Month of May is a brilliant and amazing song

• This is actually the Phillipa Soo tour de force

• Her fake crying is so good

• There are so many good flourishes in the singing

• Same thing I feel about I Wonder What the King is Doing Tonight, Phillipa Soo is just enhancing every line with her hilarious delivery

• Also this sound

• Sagramore is always operating at 50% more intensity than the rest of the knights and it's perfect

• Him having to be held back by the other two when Genny sings to him

• It's involuntary at this point that I turn my head back at French during this verse

• His very loud delivery of "I swear to you the challenge will be met"

• "Sirrrr Liiiiionel"/"Ma'am"/"Ugh"

• And when she gives his chest a little slap after "and young du Lac"

• Perfect

• And her laugh-cry at the end of Lionel's part

• Their faces when she touches them are also just very confused and funny, she is not good at this

• I love when the knights are singing together, bringing up Lance really has wrapped them around her finger

Act 1, Scene 5: The King's study - the night before the tournament

• "You know that it's your move right?"/"I did not know that. I'll need to alter my strategy now"

• Honestly so relatable I suck at chess, Pelli is the best

• "If we're to care about justice, we need to care even more about injustice"

• Just a good little Sorkin nugget

• Pelli refusing to understand any of Arthur's ideas, excellent

• "Do I understand that you intend to be history's first king to yield power?"/"Oh now you're catching on"

• I do just love Arthur so much

• And the delivery of "she wrote what you just read"

• He's so pleased to inform Lance that Genny's writing treatises about justice

• Pelli's smug little "it's your move" like that's correct, no one is allowed to not respect women in Arthur's study

• "He's had you in checkmate for an hour and a half"

• Arthur's patience is astounding, Lance should be taking notes while he's perfecting his spirit

• "Would you like to play me or do you ever do anything but perfect your soul?"/"No I also perfect my body"

• Again just perfect deliveries and honestly so much respect to the new book for making Lance even more irritating but eventually more human too

• I am not dragging Lance, this is a compliment

• Just the way Jordan Donica plays it completely straight without being able to detect sarcasm is hilarious

• "The arrangement I'm in is called a marriage, having some fun would be called treason. And finally I hate his breathing guts."

• Setting up the consequences we know are coming with a little joke, I like it

• "Well be sure and give us clear skies tomorrow when you're arranging things with god tonight"

• Savage, I don't like most of the original dialouge but we had a winner with this one

• Her delivery just elevates it

• "No one could refuse your wish"

• The gall of Lance to say that like that in front of Arthur like he is shameless

• "Why do you have to bait the man?"/"I dislike him, I thought I was making that clear"

• Genny is so relatable

• Their first fight and Arthur's already insulting the French, I'm not sure why he thought this was going to go well

• Arthur trying to delicately ask Genny to withdraw her permission from Dinadan

• He's trying to have this conversation as her husband and not her king but Genny is not even having it a little

• Genny explaining that she already gave permission for all the knights is so funny

• I know they're basically the original lines but ya know, sometimes Lerner nailed it

• "It will seem to the entire court as if you are rooting for his downfall and championing his defeat."/"The only reason it will seem that way is because I'm rooting for his downfall and championing his defeat."

• "He's going to embarass those three. These are not men who take well to embarrassment."

• Like Arthur already knows exactly who his knights are

• He knows that they don't exactly match up to his ideals

• The delivery on "will you withdraw your permission" is also spot on like Arthur is ready to exit this conversation right now

• Also on "if I do will you forgive me"

• Like he knows that's not happening

• "Not as long as I live, no"

• Perfect riff on the original book's line

• Arthur doing some investigating on Genny hating Lance like he knows before she even does

• Ouch

• And then him starting to get frustrated when she's not answering like babies' first fight is not going well

• "Because he needs to be brought down to earth... literally not metaphorically"

• Like she has yet to be wrong

• "Merlyn never taught me how to handle a woman"/"You didn't read the book?"/"There's a book? No I can see from your face that there's not a book. Though maybe in France they would have published something, no I can still see on your face"

• We love a Genny dripping with sarcasm moment

• And Arthur being an idiot nerd

• He's so so stupid

• Another one of my truly favorite lines and deliveries, he is so excited that he completely forgets he's mad at her for a second and then pouting when he realizes

• "If the king wishes me to withdraw my permission, let him so command... nope, then I will bid you goodnight"

• The aggressiveness on her daring him to command her is so much

• Perfect

• I love her nope, a little power play

• Because she knows he won't and he knows he won't and she's happy to remind him of that they both know that and then leave

• His silence is doing so much work too

• Damn this scene is good

• "And before I go to bed as a gesture to Lancelot and to you, I'll pray it's over quickly"/It will be"

• They're so mad, I love it

• "There should be a book"

• Grumbling sullen Arthur is very funny even if How to Handle a Woman is lowkey the worst song

• And Arthur's worst impulse, which the narrative knows because it plays under him talking about vengeance and what he's entitled to later

• Like they do a good job recontextualizing it but it's still not the best

• Just hearing him sing the word threaten is kind of jarring, I cannot even slightly imagine this Arthur even thinking it once

• In my opinion they should've just cut it, I'd gladly take more Sorkin dialouge instead

• I do appreciate the way they scaled back this music in the rest of the show

• Because it's all over the second act of the movie, Arthur and Genny's theme if you will

• Like even during their last conversation

• Because they're not the love story so their theme isn't really a love song

• But then here, they play it under Arthur's worst impulses at the end of act 1 and banish it which is so smart

Act 1, Scene 6: A grandstand - the next day

• The music coming into this scene and when Arthur and Genny show up, again fantastic

• The outright hostility between the knights and Lance, they turned it so far up in this version

• Pushing him down and shit

• I love Athur and Genny showing up and getting to see them actually be king and queen and have their over-the-top outfits and crowns in this and the last act 1 scene because it's so removed from who they are the rest of time

• Arthur's speech at the beginning trying to glorify them not having the tournament and how great losing is and having to be stopped by Genny

• He's trying so hard and his speech is not good

• The fact that she basically tells him to stop and his response is fine like I think he forgets that he's actually in charge

• I love a sword fight

• The movement, the drama, the loud clanging...

• I am but a humble girl raised on the Pirates of the Carribean movies

• Dinadan being a dick before the fight with "and now for your lesson sir"

• The way Lance knocks the sword out of Dinadan's grip and makes him pick it up before defeating him, such an asshole move

• I truly can't tell if Lance has just such a superiority complex that he doesn't realize what parts of his own behavior are making people dislike him or he's just so stuck in his toxic little mindset that he doesn't care if people hate him for it

• I kind of feel like Lance is so into his specific notions of the world that even he doesn't really know why he acts the way he does

• "Dinadan seemed very inspired by your kerchief, should we continue?"

• "You know he almost had him, right up until the moment he never stood a chance"

• Their fight being played out by proxy while Arthur makes snide comments and they give each other looks is good shit

• Sagramore's scream, he's always going so hard

• The fact that Arthur fighting instead of Lionel is new for this

• Genius

• So good

• The dialouge around it is good too

• The temptation to just transcribe the whole thing is so strong

• Commanding Lance to pick back up his sword like damn

• I love seeing this new side of Arthur

• He can and will fight and he's good at it

• "I know what a damn baguette is"

• His little bit to Lance about it just being about morale is very good

• But also he can see what's going on even if Genny can't so is it?

• The fact that he may well have won the fight if it wasn't for a cool bird, what a man

• Fun fact about me, I didn't even see the bird or realize that's why he got distracted until the last time

• He and Genny are like very much not in a good place this moment but he will let it slide to point out a bird

• Arthur's fall is very good

• Can you tell I think this scene is also very good, I've only written it like twelve times

• The fact that they're letting people fight with swords and there isn't a doctor for 12 miles, amazing planning by everyone

• The bit of everyone thinking Arthur was dead and him sarcastically correcting them is amazing 100% of the time

• "He put life back into him" is just consistently hilarious

• "I'm not wanted here Arthur"

• With the most heartbreaking delivery

• Aw we finally see Lance have some shred of being an actual person

Act 1, Scene 7: The castle terrace - on the evening of the same day

• I Wonder What the King is Doing Tonight intro-ing into this scene

• "Well you got me there" being screamed is perfect

• Pelli sensing that something is bothering Arthur, their relationship is very sweet

• Pelli describing the way Genny and Lance were looking at each other, what a shit stirer

• "It may be the only way to get him to stay"/"Maybe it's best if you let him go"/"Let him go?"/"Maybe it's best"/"Why is that?"/"Well...You said yourself, morale"

• Like she's trying to protect them but she won't say it

• For obvious reasons

• But it's confirming what Arthur already suspects

• And just drawing them further apart

• Another great her silence is doing so much work moment

• The entire telling Lance he's being invested discussion is so intense

• So much anger simmering in Arthur that can't help but come out in the line deliveries in the beginning

• Genny refusing to engage and turning her back to the whole thing

• "I'm sure he'd like to hear it from another child of France"/"This is my country now"

• Oh boy I love this exchange

• Like she's trying, she's trying so hard

• And I don't know what the fuck Arthur is thinking with that one, in what way could she possibly respond that's not going to be bad for him?

• Arthur leaving them alone like whyyyy

• And then Arthur giving Genny back her bloody kerchief, fuck

• All is very much not forgiven here

• "God dammit Pelli, I wasn't dead"

• Genny making it clear she does not believe Arthur was dead, I appreciate that she's also very clear on the fact that their world is not magical

• I wonder if Lance does think he willed Arthur back to life

• Probably

• "Don't ever say it out loud. Neither of us can ever say it out loud"

• This was another straight up gasping in the theater moment

• The entire conversation between Genny and Lance is so good and tense

• And the delivery on that line just feels like getting punched in the gut

• Phillipa Soo is amazing

• I love that she won't let them say it, that she's fighting it

• And the way she cuts him off, the way she makes him agree to not say it

• This is the intense love she wanted and it doesn't need to be said which is exactly what she needed to feel from Arthur but didn't get

• Also Lance just trying to confess his feelings the first second he can is just such an interesting character choice

• Like the truth is his purity of the soul bluster doesn't hold up to the slightest temptation

• He's ready to betray Arthur the second he leaves the room

• It's all a front

• Not intentionally, like he believes the things he says he believes

• But he can't keep to it

• I think he's so drawn to Arthur because Arthur actually has the qualities he's proclaiming define him

• But I don't even think Lance knows any of this about himself

• At least not until later

• He's just impulsive

• Which is I think what makes him an interesting character to me but also makes his motivations hardest to decipher

• Before I Gaze at You Again is such a stunning song

• And watching Phillipa Soo just emote for the whole time

Act 1, Scene 8: The great hall - on that evening

• All the music that starts this scene is brilliant

• "I'll never disappoint you"/"I know"

• I just...

• Like we the audience know but also the characters sort of all know and they are determined not to let it happen but that only makes it happen anyway

• Ugh those lines are a little nothing but they're everything

• I have the YouTube clips of Richard Burton's version of this and it does just indicate how well they've modernized

• Theater has changed so much so the pacing of 1961 compared to this is kind of fascinating

• This is also actually the writing I think is the best from the original and it is so fascinating to compare the two versions which I'm sure someone has done and I want to read it because there is so much to say

• It's so bold to close act 1 with a speech instead of a song

• I had no context coming in so they had me in the first half, I wasn't sure if this was Arthur's turn into the villain moment

• Once again I'm just like pointing to the whole speech and yelling how good it is

• Whoever decided this belonged on the cast recording is my personal hero

• This is just on my normal spotify playlist and as long as I'm not reading, I will not skip it

• But I love the idea that in the original book Arthur starts out by declaring his love for Genny and Lance and in this version it's like he's actively talking to the audience to defend himself

• To say he's not some stupid optimistic kid, that he sees everything we have

• Comes out swinging

• I can't explain how much "proposition: I am not a befuddled king" shook me, I was ready for shit to go down and I love it as the opener to this

• The pause before "whom they love", the sadness in it

• "And she didn't choose whom she married"

• Like Arthur can never get rid of that guilt

• The push and pull of this entire thing where he will try to make an argument with himself that everything is fine but the bitterness keeps seeping in until there's no rationality left

• Trying not the write out the whole thing but the rhythm of it, the pacing, this performance is spectacular

• The way the audience startles when he starts screaming

• Like he's having his back and forth rational debate with himself and finally we see him lose that control

• And it is the good shit

• I can't explain how much I came in with no context for this show and how much this completely threw me in the best way

• We're finally a glimpse of what's happening inside Arthur's head, to see the way he's been holding so much back from everyone else

• I love that he's still yelling at Merlyn, not exactly sure what I want to read into that, I feel like there are a few lines of thought

• "Am I not entitled to a man's vengence?"

• Perhaps my favorite line in the first half

• Every line is sort of my favorite but I guess let's settle on this one

• Because the original is "I demand a man's vengence"

• And same sentiment but entitled is so much more toxic

• Like the thing about this magic-less universe is that Arthur wasn't destined for some greatness and so he pulled the sword from the stone

• He wasn't owed something, he didn't deserve it, it just happened and he chose to rise to the challenge

• And this is the first moment he's decided he might be entitled to anything

• And then he does a 180 into deserving nothing

• "Proposition: I'm not a man, I'm a king"

• Like wow so much to unpack psychologically there

• I mean he and Lance have very much the same problem of trying to suppress their own humanity but the reasons are so different

• When Arthur switches into his idealistic mode and they start playing I Wonder What the King is Doing Tonight because he's being kingly, literally gets me every time

• The entire thing is so good, I love the second half so much

• "I wasn't trained for this"

• I love the running theme of Merlyn training Arthur in all of these important skills but never teaching him how to handle emotions and relationships and uh maybe he should have

• There were perhaps some limits to Merlyn's wisdom that set Arthur up to fail

• Because he's been king since he was barely out of childhood

• He never got the chance to have normal, equal relationships where he could figure shit out

• So instead he just pushes it all down because he's not wrong in that he doesn't get the luxury of following his emotions

• I love every second of this scene

• I love every line, every delivery, every movement

• Like it is a hard ask to make an actor just walking around the stage monologuing compelling in a musical and this is so so compelling

• Just on the whole of this show, I don't know that I've ever been so blown away by a stage performance as I was watching Andrew Burnap and this scene is just a perfect encapsulation of why

• Whatever he's in next, I will go

• Okay real talk something about this man's face just renders it unrecognizable to my brain so more than likely I'll see something and be like wow that person was amazing, who was that and then it will turn out to be him

• I say specifically because I happened to be watching Under the Banner of Heaven the whole time I've been having a Camelot obsession and how did I find out he was in it? I happened to see his name in the end credits four episodes in...

• But anyway I will at least try to know whatever he's in next so I can go on purpose because this performance is living in my brain and I don't think it's leaving

• I do make fun of previous versions of this show for casting people who are clearly not musical theater actors in this role but actually I do think casting actors who do straight plays does add so much as long as they aren't terrible at singing

• All of which to say again that I do think this was some of the most perfect casting I have ever seen

• Basically the statements you can tell Andrew Burnap is not a musicals person and you can absolutely tell Phillipa Soo and Jordan Donica are absolutely musicals people

• Are both extreme compliments to the people that decided on this casting

[phykios]

honesty and promise me, part 10 [co-written with @darkmagyk] [read on ao3]

“If you don’t talk to me, I’m not going to leave you my keys.”

Annabeth looks at Piper from behind the loom, glaring through the threads. “Then you won’t come back to ten bolts of fabric.”

In fairness, it was sort of an empty threat. Piper has all the good stuff: the surger, the embroidery machine, the industrial sewing machines, plus a million sources for fabric that aren’t Annabeth’s stress weaving. Annabeth only has her own shitty sewing machine at home that she’d gotten for Christmas when she was fourteen.

Also, Piper wouldn’t actually lock her out. She needs those fabrics.

“Why don’t you just not go?” Annabeth says. “If you stay, I promise to tell you all the gritty details.” She’s joking, but the second she says it, she’s hit with a strange wave of desperation.

She wants to tell Piper all the gritty details. How she had giggled and smoozed and looked so pretty on Luke’s arm, tattoos and undercut and everything else so carefully concealed. She never wanted to tell Thalia the gritty details. The dirty ones, sure, particularly when the dirty things didn’t involve Thalia’s beloved younger cousin. But she had spent two years, two hard painful years, hiding vast swaths of herself from Thalia.

She thought of the night of the gala, of Thalia telling her family she knew Luke from college. NYU. They’d been actors together.

Annabeth hadn’t been the only one hiding things.

It had stung, in all sorts of ways.

Piper stares, narrowing her eyes. “How dare you tempt me into giving up my creative retreat for gossip.”

Annabeth shrugs. “It’s one or the other.”

The glare at each other, stubborn as all hell.

Piper throws up her hands. “Fine. Just make my fabric and call Leo if you’re having another crisis.”

The truth is, she will tell Piper. Eventually. She knows she will. It will probably be in eight months, when she gets back, when hopefully the shame of her false life and the devastation of losing Percy has lessened, but she will tell her. But eight months is a long time. “I do have other friends, you know.”

“Then call Luke. Or Thalia.”

It takes absolutely everything Annabeth has not to wince at the names.

She would never have told Thalia. Not really. Even things like this, even if it hadn’t involved her. Thalia wasn’t… good at relationship stuff. Not like Piper. And she never knew all of Annabeth’s romantic history--not like Piper did, anyway.

And it wasn’t just romantic relationships.

Annabeth might have been able to share her pain, and share her pain with Thalia, but it had, in many ways, only been a surface level thing. Thalia saw her pain after Annabeth’s mom had rescinded her approval of her life, but she'd taken Annabeth’s silence as the end of the matter, and responded to it by acting out, and arguably drinking too much.

But they never talked about her mother. They never talked about Thalia’s, either, and if there was something Annabeth learned from Hazel’s gala beyond how unfairly handsome Percy was going to look in thirty years, it was that there was a lot going on there.

It is a little hurtful on reflection. Making her feel less close to Thalia, but also less guilty about what she never said. And less willing to accept her reactions.

Her emotions have been all over the place the last few weeks.

Piper notices, because of course Piper notices, but she is an angel, and has known her for a long time, so she doesn’t badger her too much. She also doesn’t mention that Annabeth’s measurements all seem to be off. Not even to say something about beauty at every size or her well publicized efforts for diverse bodies in fashion.

But it was still nice to spend time with her. It felt like the old days, staying up too late making the next thing in fashion, and then passing out together, surrounded by bobbins and bagels, Gossip Girl playing on TV.

It did make Piper’s impending departure that much harder, though.

Two weeks into November, she meets Piper and Leo for dinner, and then sees Piper off to JFK for her eight-month creativity retreat in Oklahoma. “You know, like how you decided you couldn’t have a doorman for creative reasons,” she’d said with a raised eyebrow when Annabeth had questioned the move. Piper likes to treat the last two years of Annabeth’s life like some sort of creative exercise. Her dad had done that too, once, when she bothered to answer his call.

Not that she’s not doing anything other than helping Piper pick stitches, and sewing hemlines Piper is too important to deal with herself. She wishes that earlier estimation had been true.

Since the gala she’s been living on Uber Eats at Piper’s, unless she gets bullied home, in which case it's the same but less varied selection with more meat, so the night out with Piper and Leo the night before Piper’s flight feels like a radical departure from the norm. Even though they just go to dinner.

Which does not stop her from feeling hungover the next morning.

“You had half a glass of wine last night,” Leo points out from the door of her bathroom.

“I remember,” she agrees when it lets up for a moment.

“If you get me sick,” he says, “I’m sending you the doctor's bill.”

“Fair,” she chokes out.

Leo doesn’t hug her goodbye, but he does tell her he hopes she gets better before heading back to Boston.

Annabeth, hugging porcelain, wishes she could go with him.

She was very seriously considering it a few days later. Magnus would take pity on her and Alex was always fun to hang out with. Plus, they’d probably think she was too pathetic to be called on her shit. She only did not make plans to go up to Boston because on Wednesday Luke texted her: Already a shit week, brunch this weekend? And she knew if she ran off to Boston, she wouldn’t leave Magnus and Alex’s guest room until they forced the issue.

But it would be nice to talk to someone in New York City who doesn’t hate her guts, she thought.

So, on Sunday morning, she throws up the wonton soup she’d ordered in for dinner the night before, gurgles some mouthwash, uses the expensive concealer to hide the dark circles, and over does the mascara in hopes that she mostly looks awake.

“You look terrible,” are the first words Luke says to her.

“You have no idea how to talk to women,” she says, slumping down across from him.

“I do,” Luke says, “I just know not to bother with you.” But he frowns at her, taking her in. She’s broken out a Chanel jacket, but she isn’t sure when she last washed these jeans. A real winning combo, her.

“But really,” Luke says, “you look miserable. Is it about what happened on Halloween?”

She shrugs. It isn’t not that. Percy’s words still circle through her head, his sad, defeated face as he bemoaned the, how did he put it? All the rich girls who fucked him to make a point. Made all the worse because she believes them. Probably not the same points as those princesses, but… probably not as different as she would like.

She wonders if Europe is full of very wealthy aristocratic women who are all secretly and shamefully still in love with Percy Jackson. And Frank Zhang.

It makes her feel hollow and nauseous all at once.

But she’s been feeling nauseous for weeks now, so at least it's not a new feeling. If it keeps up, she’s going to have to go to the doctor soon.

She hates going to the doctor. It feels like cheating when she just goes and pays and knows other people can’t. She had once lied to Thalia about getting money for a side gig, and then given her two hundred bucks for a trip to the clinic. Now that Annabeth has spent many hours in his cousin’s apartment, and has heard Nico talk about his yearly income on top of the money his dad gives him, she’s not sure how it came down to her.

“Not really,” Annabeth says, “I mean, I still feel just as terrible, but that’s mostly the problem. I feel sick.”

“It's been three weeks.” Luke looks genuinely concerned. “What’s going on?”

“I’m exhausted and nauseous all the time,” she says, groaning at the thought. She was okay right at this moment, but she knew it could come back at the drop of a hat.

Luke frowned at her. “That’s all?”

“Isn’t that enough?”

“I mean…” He looked at her, his eyes gazing lower, to her body. Luke had never really come on to her in any kind of real way. But she’s not sure he’s ever looked at her with less lust than he does right at that moment.

It is calculating. She’s gained some weight, she knows. But if Luke points it out, she’s going to kick him in the nuts with her steel toed boots. Or maybe make him explain himself and his relationship with Thalia.

“Annabeth,” Luke says, his voice lower, a frown on his face, “please don’t freak out.”

She can feel her heart pick up, just a bit. “That’s a terrible place to start.”

“Have you been feeling… emotionally volatile lately? Having a lot of mood swings?”

She frowns. She’d maybe been crying a little more than normal at sentimental hulu ads, but she always has a soft touch for that kind of thing, and she’s going through some stuff. “I don’t think you should ask a woman that.”

“You are really not going to like my next question, then.” He leans close and says, “Are your… breasts tender?”

“You’re right, I don’t like that question,” Annabeth says, crossing her arms over her chest. Even though they are. “I don’t know why you thought that, and how you knew.”

Luke looks at her with such pity, she feels like she’s suddenly eighteen years old again, and crying on his couch at the end of freshman year about the greatest heartbreak of her life. (It had moved to second place. Lucky it. The boy in that bar had only been theoretical, mostly.)

Luke reaches out, grasping one of her hands, and for a second, Annabeth is sure he is going to tell her that she’s dying.

“Have you considered you might be pregnant?”

She yanks her hand away. “I can’t be pregnant,” she says. “I haven’t had sex in weeks.”

“Have you had your period since then?” Luke asks.

“Not that it's any of your business,” she says, “but I haven’t had one in years.” They do talk about sex sometimes, but periods had long been off the Luke table.

Luke grimaces. “Well, you’ve been sexually active recently…”

“It’s been more than a month!”

“When did you start getting morning sickness?” Luke asks “You were throwing up at Halloween.”

“That wasn’t in the morning,” she snaps, “and I feel fine now.”

“You know morning sickness doesn’t just happen in the morning,” Luke says. “And with the rest of your symptoms, well--”

She shakes her head, glaring at Luke. His judgement would have been better than his patient mansplaining. “You think I don’t use birth control?”

Luke shrugs a little. “I mean… you’re… not great at things like daily medication. That’s what happened last time. And if a condom broke or you didn’t use one…”

Last time. Oh, last time. Last time had been the worst four hours of her life, in between realizing that she hadn’t been remembering her birth control pills every day, that her period was a few days late, and that she’d definitely been having unprotected sex with that boy in Luke’s cohort who was probably too old for her. Last time had been her having a panic attack on Luke’s Cambridge apartment couch while a very reluctant Leo was sent to buy a pregnancy test or twelve, and Piper reassuring her via speaker phone that it would be ok, while Luke rubbed her back and reminded her to breathe.

“I do remember what happened last time,” she says. “That’s why I got an IUD. Which, if you don’t know, from all your girlfriends' pregnancy scares, has the same failure rate as permanent sterilization, less than one percent. So…” So it would be okay. She couldn’t be pregnant. That’s why it had been okay for Percy and Annabeth to start fucking without a condom.

“When was the last time you got a new one?”

“August.” She says, thinking back. She was almost sure. “I remember because it was before the Eta thing--Leo called me to tell me about the ceremony while I was at the gyno.”

“So you were distracted and being a bad patient when they were trying to put it in?”

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

But she won’t give Luke, of all people, the satisfaction. “They are professionals. They should know what they’re doing, even if I was on the phone.”

Luke gives her his most disappointed dad face. It is worse than Annabeth’s own father. “You’re the one who always tells me I need to not make people’s jobs harder by being a bad client,” he quietly reminds her.

She fucking hates him.

But despite herself, she pulls out her phone, and begins googling misplaced IUDs and pregnancy.  

They haven’t even ordered yet, but Luke is already standing up, probably based on the look on her face as she manages to fight through the dyslexia and figure out what it says. “Come on,” he says, helping her out of her chair, even though she’s not an invalid. She just might be pregnant.

She pushes that thought away as she follows Luke into a cab and then up to his apartment. He makes her some tea and hands her a banana while he goes to get her a pregnancy test, because Luke’s not quite shameless enough to have one at home. She waits for him in a living room straight out of American Psycho and reads up on IUD pregnancy complications online. Which she probably should not have done.

By the time Luke gets back, she is crying again. He’s gotten her 3 tests, which is very considerate of him, as she’s going to need them.

Walking into the bathroom, she’s shaking hard enough that she needs to brace herself on the wall. He lets her use the nice one off his bedroom, though it's not like she needs the jacuzzi tub.

When she’s done peeing, she sets a timer on her phone and sits on Luke’s bed. He tries to speak to her several times. She doesn’t respond.

It isn’t the longest ten minutes of her life, because the truth is, she knows.

She already knows.

When the alarm goes off, she shrugs off Luke’s arm and silently walks back into the bathroom.

Luke got a digital readout, because what else was he going to do. And so she looks at the little screen and just barely processes the word pregnant.

She doesn’t need to take the other tests. She doesn’t need confirmation or to be convinced.

She reaches down and pressed on her lower abdomen, lifting her shirt. She had noticed a slight change. But she’d also changed a lot of her daily routine lately, had eaten a lot more ice cream. Right now, she can’t see any kind of bump, not really, but she can see a shift. Something flat gone fuller.

Annabeth is pregnant.

Annabeth is pregnant with Percy’s baby.

Percy’s baby.

She bursts into tears all over again.

An eternity later, there is a knock on the door.

“Annabeth,” Luke calls, “can I come in?”

She manages to choke out a yes.

Luke finds her sitting on the edge of the tub. He looked at the test still sitting on the counter.

“Let me make a call,” he says, sitting next to her, resting a hand on her arm. “I know a doctor. He can get you a pill or maybe even see you if you need it. Probably today or tomorrow. We can get this all taken care of and then I’ll buy you ice cream and we can watch Legally Blonde, and you can complain about how it doesn’t accurately reflect the admissions process.”

Normally Annabeth would pre-complain, and point out that given Elle’s GPA, LSAT, and extracurricular activities, she would have been a shoe in for her program, and the movie was dismissive of her prior academic achievement. But she’s too busy parsing what Luke is saying.

He squeezes her hand in support. “It's going to be okay,” he says, sweetly.

“No.” She says. But not because it won’t be okay. “No, I’m not going to have an abortion.”

“It's okay,” Luke promises. “I would never judge you. And no one else would ever have to know. This isn’t something you have to do.”

“I know that,” Annabeth says. “I don’t have to do anything.” She detangles her hand from Luke’s and rests it on her stomach, where her uterus waits under her skin. “I want to do this.”

Luke looks at her hand. “Poseidon Olympianides’ son?” he asks. “That’s the father?”

She nods.

Blowing out a breath through his teeth, he sighs. “Well, you’ll be able to get some good child support out of him at least. That family is loaded.”

“Don’t say that,” she nearly screams, and Luke actually jerks back a little. “He doesn’t have any money. He’s his dad’s bastard kid,” she says, feeling a little bad about revealing his family history, but knowing that the word would spark something in Luke. “I don’t know if I’m even going to tell him.”

It feels like something cheap and shallow, trapping a man with a lie, then a baby.

She’s still crying and tentatively, Luke reaches out and wraps his arms around her, pulls her to him.

“Come on,” he says, pulling her up. “You still need ice cream and a movie.”

Annabeth cries. And she doesn’t fight him, but it feels so strange. Half way through her Caramel Sutra and the Legally Blonde proshot, she realizes what’s different.

For the first time since Percy walked out of her apartment without a good-bye kiss, Annabeth Chase is happy.

She’s pregnant with Percy Jackson’s baby.

She’s going to have Percy Jackson’s baby.

She’s not sure if she’s ever heard anything as wonderful in her entire life.

And if she’s going to be worthy of it, worthy of her baby, then she’s going to have to get her shit together.

[thebad---catholic]

dems have had literally decades to codify roe v wade. i'll vote for my local elections but as a very young person, that's it. all of em are the same. talk a big talk then proceed to do jack shit in office other than make themselves richer. besides, i'll worry about my personal rights once i can afford rent/gas/groceries, which have skyrocketed in the last few months. sorry if this comes off rude, I'm just super frustrated w how awful everything is right now :(

It’s the fillabuster, love.

American politics is deeply, chronically, prodigiously stupid. One of the many ways this shows itself is the filibuster.

In a logical world, the senate could pass a law with a 51-49 vote (rlly, in a logical world, the senate wouldn’t exist at all, but that’s not the point rn)

There is no limit on debate time in the senate. This means that a bill can be argued for hours, days, or even months at a time. Debate must conclude before a law can pass. As it stands currently, 41 senators can issue a filibuster. 60 are needed to end it, and then the 51 can pass a law.

Now, in theory, this isn’t…terrible? Like it’s dumb, but there is value in letting the minority party say their piece without fear of being steamrolled every single time. Checks and balances or something. You can read more about it here

However, as you might imagine, this system is rife for abuse. Ted Cruz read green eggs and fucking ham to halt the vote on Obamacare . For 21 hours. Straight. The “debate” doesn’t have to make sense or be about the bill, you just have to keep talking.

The votes needed to change senate rules to abolish/amend the filibuster is again, 60. The last time democrats had control of the senate by that much was in 1978. While I’m not familiar with party demographics for that time period, it was more of a gray area than the sharp partisanship we have now. Party allegiance was a little…weird back then. Progressives like JFK and FDR, who both favored a strong federal government were in the same party as states rights anti-equality segregationists. So, it’s likely that in 1978, the democrats wouldn’t have had any motive to get rid of the filibuster like they do now.

All this is to say- no, the democrats have not had decades to codify roe. Things are even more all over the place on a state by state level. In PA, for example, I’d say a slim majority of the population (that votes, any way) is democrats. The problem, of course, is that they’re concentrated in cities. So, we usually end up with a Democrat governor, but a split or majority Republican legislature bc they’re from specific districts.

It is a right wing myth to say the parties are the same. They are not. The democrats are, at worst, spineless tone deaf liberals who’ve been in office way too long. Republicans, at BEST, are like Mitt Romney, who is a rare example of a “normal” conservative. As a whole, the Republican Party is a fascistic organization. They are explicitly racist, misogynistic, queer phobic, and anti-democracy. If you don’t vote in every capacity that you can, you won’t have to worry abt your personal rights, because you won’t have them.

We are dealing with a party that does not care about the democratic process, but does not CURRENTLY have the ability to fully act on that impulse. The way to stave them off is to keep them out of positions of power. Forever, on every level of government.

Also, affordable living IS YOUR PERSONAL RIGHT. Take a wild guess over which party is overwhelmingly against rent caps, raising minimum wage, unionizing, UBI, or having a social safety net of any kind.

I don’t think you came off as rude at all anon, and I am deeply sympathetic to your frustration. But I will not respect or placate your apathy. Apathy means oppression. Apathy means death.

Vote.

[frederickthegreat]

my thoughts on TUA season 2

(spoilers, obviously)

- opened with Klaus and Ben, my kings. Klaus’s hair looks so weird straightened while short 

- AWESOME opening soundtrack 

- seeing all their powers so controlled makes me wonder how they leveled up to that skill in the alternate timeline. like the only time we saw Klaus use the powers of other ghosts in the correct timeline was when two of them caught him falling out of the sky. however Diego did end up controlling bullets and Allison used her voice to technically kill one of the Swedes

- the homeless man screaming Allison’s name alongside Luther... funny shit

- big teddy bear Hazel

- Elliot was fucking awesome i think he was a great addition as a side character. rip tho :(

- honestly i don’t understand why Diego would WANT to save JFK. like it’s not that big of a deal. does he not understand what messing with the timeline can do??

- Lila... impeccable

- Sissy and Vanya... impeccable <3

- yeah and fuck u Carl

- ugh, Klaus’s beard. disgusting <3

- Ben and Klaus definitely act like they should be, given that they’ve been stuck with each other for over a decade. i’ve seen some people calling Klaus an asshole for not telling his siblings about Ben, which is completely understandable (cause he was an asshole), but I’m guessing it was because he was afraid? that sharing Ben with his siblings would mean that he would lose him to them, or his siblings would find him selfish, or they would ask something of him that he couldn’t give. if that makes sense

- that ghost bitch comment was funny tho 

- to the guy who called Klaus pretty boy at the bar: sir you don’t know what you’re getting into

- Raymond!! he’s such a sweetheart, i really liked him in the show. i’m really happy that Allison has found a bit of normalcy (as normal as the 1960s Civil Rights movement could be). it shows how passionate she is about what she believes in: even though she knows the movement is far from over, even back in 2019, she’s not gonna abandon it

- Allison staring at the moon every night: either thinking about Luther or how the moon blows them all up. maybe both

- of course Luther would be working for Jack Ruby

- awesome cinematography during the mental asylum escape 

- yeah it makes sense that the Handler would still be alive. she was a cool villain. although it would’ve been awesome to see how evil a fish could be

- Diego’s plan was pretty stupid. that’s my boy

- honestly they revealed how Klaus started a cult really well by having one of his followers find him at jail. Klaus, ever the musical aficionado, of course writes his scripture based off of pop songs

- Raymond and Klaus meeting!! that was cool to see how their paths connected

- Lila painting Elliot’s toenails green. ugh i love that crazy bitch

- i LOVE how they incorporated the umbrella man!! tbh i’ve always believed he was the one behind the assassination. Lee Harvey Oswald was framed 

- honestly a bit understandable that Luther was planning on killing Vanya? cause he had no idea who she is now, but them reuniting was actually really sweet. he’s grown up so much

- the Swedes and their cats.

- the Umbrella company building with the nuclear family mannequins... creepy, awesome shit

- baby pogo baby pogo baby pogo baby pogo

- shanked diego shanked diego shanked diego shanked diego

- did anyone else get vibes from Klaus’s episode opening that he was an escort to the old woman? like how he was being shown off at her arm or something and getting out of jail from a call from the governor. idk maybe the lady was just very taken with him, as anyone would be

- Elliot, our helpful king

- Allison and Klaus’s reunion was so sweet!! i’m so glad they got to interact so much more in this season 

- Ben getting Raymond out through a haunting... hilarious

- sweet intimate moment between Lila and Diego

- Ray meeting Luther was hilarious, but i do feel for the poor guy. i mean i’m not in love with my adoptive sister but still

- the sit-in was really well done and beautiful while terrible. the ‘riot’ that ensued was very appropriate for today’s setting 

- D-Dave

- honestly i was scared that Klaus was gonna be overly attracted to him or whatever, which would be weird cause he’s years younger than Klaus, but honestly, at the core he just wanted to save Dave’s life. even if it means never meeting him in a different timeline. he truly loved Dave. and that ptsd flashback was done so well

- i knew Lila wasn’t trustworthy but i didn’t REALLY expect that! 

- Vanya and Luther talking with each other, Luther admitting the apocalypse wasn’t all her fault. beautiful

- the Majestic 12 reminds me of the conspiracy theory that only a few families control basically everything in the world. the Majestic 12 may be based off of that, idk

- idk about everyone else but Klaus’s scorpion and the frog story made total sense to me! frogs ARE bitches

- the diner scene.... ugh. it really shows that the two of them did fall in love and they did stupid in love things, like talking about their family, about why Dave wanted to join, favorite colors, favorite foods, etc. however that’s seen later on when Dave visits the compound

- yes it’s very disheartening when Klaus is attacked, but honestly i think it had to happen, just like the riot had to happen. the 60s weren’t a fun time for lgbt people and poc. it was only going to be a matter of time before the show HAD to acknowledge the consequences of Klaus’s ‘flamboyancy’ in 1963 Texas. it doesn’t make it right or easy to see, but it’s realistic. 

- it also makes sense that Klaus fell off the wagon after experiencing something like that. yes we all would’ve liked him to stay sober, but sobriety and recovery aren’t linear. 

- Allison is so happy with Ray can we please drop this pseudo-incest plotline let’s MOVE ON 

- Texas Grace ! who is not actually Grace rip (i think? i was a bit confused lol)

- the scene with Harlan running off was really upsetting but we got to see those weird light particles that we saw in the first season

- Pogo Pogo Pogo Pogo

- Klaus being a dick to Ben again, as brothers do. i do feel bad for Ben though it must be sooo frustrating. that scene with him and Allison was really sweet and funny tho

- i just have to say that Luther and Diego are so fucking funny this season it’s awesome. like there are a LOT of good lines overall by everyone but they’re hilarious. “At least he didn’t shank my ass” “no bro, he shanked your heart”“Dads part of a sinister CABAL that’s plotting on killing the president.” “a caBAL?”“You two still a thing? *leans in* do we need to talk?” “No, she’s married.” “Woah dude... that’s rough.” and countless others

- the sibling reunion!! 

- Klaus really does get left out of everything tbh

- Ben :(

- sisters and Klaus!! that was so awesome to see. and Klaus’s hairpins, Vanya saying she’s gonna tell Sissy she loves her, their dance sequence, Klaus calling Allison out on that incest. beautiful

- the fucking Swedish cover of Hello was PERFECT i mean i was sad for the Swedes but it was hilarious. there were a couple beautiful shots of the boat on fire though

- god it must’ve been so traumatizing for Allison to be thrust into such a hostile place with no voice and no way to contact her family

-  idk about you guys but long live Team Zero

- calling Ben that he was becoming their father was a bit uncalled for 

- the fact that Klaus didn’t help Dave’s chances, and in fact escalated Dave’s own timeline.. his trembling hands... robert sheehan is an amazing actor

- the Black president bit lmaoo loved it

- the way Reginald spoke to Diego.. i’m gonna throw hands with an old man

- Klaus LITERALLY looked like he was having a seizure and they all just... played it off?? 

- poor, poor Carl. nah fuck him lol

- that bloody opening scene was awesome! and thank god Five got to say fuck. the fact that it was about a candy bar makes too much sense

- Robert Sheehan acting as Ben: amazing showstopping spectacular he’s so talented

- the whole multiple Fives and Luther bit was honestly really funny, and i immensely respect smaller Five over bigger Five. 

- yes Klaus, you survived a family of seven. you got this

- not sad about Carl dying one bit!

- Ben... that was such a beautiful scene. not just the content of the scene, but the cinematography. Ben fading away... Vanya hugging him... ugh. the main takeaway i had from that scene is that at the core of it all, Ben and Klaus love each other immensely. they have a weird, dysfunctional, fucked up relationship, where Klaus is an asshole and Ben definitely shouldn’t of possessed him without his consent, but they’re still brothers, and Ben forgives him. 

- oof Ben’s funeral was hard. also was it just me or did Klaus’s kid actor sound weird? like it sounded like Robert was dubbing his lines 

- all the siblings back together again!!!! Klaus going with Vanya to save Harlan!! Vanya telling him Ben forgives him and that it wasn’t Klaus’s fault Ben got stuck with him!! everyone in the car!!! be still my beating heart

- yeah didn’t see Lila having powers coming tbh. i really feel bad for her she’s had such a rough and traumatic life, especially with the Handler as her only parental figure

- the Swede brother and Five putting down their weapons: “enough.” the Swede wanted revenge for his brothers - an eye for an eye, but there was a mutual understanding between the two of them: they would do anything for their family. if the Swede hurts one of the Hargreeves, Five would never stop coming after him. i thought it was very beautiful 

- mmm Reggie’s foreshadowing coming into play. proud of u Five

- the ending was so beautiful. everyone got closure in some type of way. except now Klaus is alone with nothing but his dog tags :(

- EMO BEN HAHAHA WTFFF?? is Lila in the sparrow academy? why was Ben’s portrait over the mantle piece? did Five disappear?? is the sparrow academy just older versions of the siblings who stuck around?? so many questions

FINAL THOUGHTS

- Ellen Page’s acting consistently blows me away. she is amazing 

- beautiful cinematography, funny writing, pretty good acting. i didn’t like the soundtrack as much as i did the first season’s, but some of it wasn’t bad.

- i’m glad ben got peace, but i’m also glad justin min isn’t gone for good. his social media presence is too vital for us

- i swear to god if they keep treating klaus as a joke and don’t let him get any actual development like everyone else had (he barely got closure with Dave, he reconciled with Ben through a second party) next season, i’m gonna riot. PLEASE i want to learn more about his powers now that Ben is gone. what happened to seeing tons of ghosts when he’s sober??

- Luther and Diego were probably my favorite duo of the season, I’m so happy that they’ve reconciled and are bonding more. 

- just seeing Vanya grow and be happy was amazing 

all in all, really wonderful season. i probably liked it better than the first one. now it’s time to consume fanfiction and maybe finish my own (check out “god doesn’t want him and neither does the devil” on ao3!)

[starbuckie]

𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭, 𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐰

challenge: 200 followers challenge by @angrybirdcr

prompt: “there may have been a slight misunderstanding, but nothing we can’t fix.” and locked in the trunk of a car

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

words: 5,504 words

warnings: post-endgame, bucky’s kinda a dick, enemies to friends(?), swearing, angst, mentions of violence, talk about sexual assault, guns, bickering, jealousy

summary: bucky had been adjusting to the new familiarity of having a stable routine, right until she walked in.

a/n: I DON’T NOT OWN ANY CHARACTERS ALL CHARACTERS BELONG TO MARVEL. okay, great, done that, but congratulations on 200 followers!! i had so much fun taking part in your writing challenge, so thank you so much. imma be honest, there’s not a lot of romance in this, it’s some enemies to friends type of shit and i genuinely did not think this fic would get so angsty and dark and actually long, but i had an idea and ran with it mid way through the old fic with this prompt. also i had an idea for an epilogue to this, so tell me if you want that part 2 because i am on the verge of writing it. this is not proofread by a beta, but i edited it myself and hope it is okay. anyways, now that we’re done with that, please enjoy this rollercoaster of a fanfic i’ve written.

main masterlist || sebastian stan characters masterlist

Life in the twenty-first century was strange, Bucky concluded. Though he’d been free of HYDRA for around nine years technically, being a fugitive and in another realm didn’t give him much time to learn about the modern world. As soon as he came back, Steve had left him and he had to move on without his childhood best friend. It was hard for him to adjust to this century, with the new rules and the whole scene in general, but he seemed to make it through just fine. He’d come to peace with the fact that there was no escaping the fighting at all, falling into a steady routine that became his holy grail. 

In the new Avengers compound in Upstate New York he felt content and more sure of himself than he’d felt in a very long time. Everyone in the tower was quiet and kept to themselves mostly, still dealing with the aftermath of losing so much in so little time. But in that silence Bucky felt like a free man, able to walk around without fear of being hunted down every second and time to really look about this new world.

There were still times when he woke up in a sweaty panic, disoriented and terrified until he realized he was in the safety of his room in the compound. He’d flinch at loud noises in the quiet and his heart would stop, something that went by unnoticed by everyone else, though he didn’t blame them for it. Bucky felt extreme guilt for the horrible things he had done as the Winter Soldier, memories of bloodied and dead bodies, bodies he had made fall to the ground motionless. It wasn’t him, he knew, but his hand still had pulled the trigger. When he found something new a smile would split across his face, ready to tell Steve what he had discovered, until he remembered that the rambunctious blond boy was gone, a wrinkled grey man with a new family in his place. It still hurt him to think that he had left him so easily, with barely a goodbye. Bucky still had days where he felt so incredibly tired, left still on his bed as horrible thoughts ran through his mind, anxious about the future.

But then he found new things everyday, things that seemed to outweigh the bad by a whole lot. He’d found cool ranch Doritos were the best chips and that he really liked the season of fall with the leaves falling around him as he took a serene walk. He found that he really loved Frozen, the songs and Sven the reindeer making him crack a smile every time he watched it. He found that he could sleep in on his days without missions and Wanda liked her pancakes with an unhealthy amount of syrup on the side to dunk them in. He found that Sam was actually really funny, always making the worst puns or the dirtiest jokes at the most inappropriate of times. He found a new sense of respect and warmth in the family they’d built together, learning how to go on without those that they loved. He found that he was really enjoying his new routine and his new sense of peace with himself.

All until she walked in.

Bucky could still remember the exact moment she flipped their world upside down. Sharon had fawned over her, talking about one of her old SHIELD buddies who was finally coming back to the states. After the organization fell in 2014, Y/N L/N fled to Hawaii, running away to the one place she knew no one would find her. She was done fighting, or that’s what she believed until Thanos showed up. 

It was shameful, really, that Y/N was aware of all the problems that went on, yet did nothing to help. They needed her help, she knew they did, but she couldn’t bring yourself to go help her friends. Originally she was trying for a settled down life, planning to retire from the constant fighting, but after a few failed relationships Y/N realized that she wasn't cut out for that white picket fence life. Those had just been the dreams of a fourteen year old Y/N L/N, left empty and hollow by the horrors she had seen during her time at SHIELD. There was nothing left waiting for her, no family, no friends, but she was too stubborn to get back into the fight, so she stayed in her humid Oahu apartment and waited for something interesting to happen.

Well, maybe Y/N shouldn’t have wished so hard, that “interesting thing” showing up in the form of being snapped out of existence by a large, purple grape.

When she came back she felt nearly indifferent, knowing that five years had passed by her, and though Y/N felt nothing but emptiness she knew that it was time to go back. It was her duty when she had joined SHIELD to always be there and protect, and she had failed that job. But Y/N was more than ready to make up for it. Nothing like Thanos could ever happen again, so she called Sharon, one of her closest friends and previous commanding supervisor at the organization. She was ecstatic to have Y/N back, probably a bit too much, and before she could have second thoughts the girl was on a plane overlooking JFK, ready to land in New York.

So when Y/N walked in, with a tight-lipped smile and butterflies anxiously fluttering in her stomach, Bucky couldn’t help but despise her. Maybe he had formed his opinion off of Sharon’s explanation of her past, but Y/N got the life of settling down that he didn’t and he was infuriatingly jealous. 

“Hey, Bucky, Sam, come meet Y/N!” Sharon said excitedly. Her hair was put back in a headband neatly, two suitcases in hand as she looked at the two tall, muscular men. Of course Y/N recognized both of them, she hadn’t been living under a rock. Keeping up with the news of the Avengers and remaining SHIELD officers had been one of the only things keeping her from coming back, hearing of the terrible fights and destruction done to whole cities. She recognized Sam Wilson, the infamous Falcon being marked down as a “war criminal” in 2016. She never believed that crap, if he and half of the other Avengers were locked up there had to be a good reason behind it.

Then, there was James Buchanan Barnes. Now, she knew him from her eighth grade American history books, reading about the brave Howling Commando who had given up his life for saving the country, but Y/N knew him better as the Winter Soldier from her time at SHIELD. The fight in 2014 had been brutal, hectic in all forms, but she’d caught a few glances at the metal-armed man. He hadn't been in his normal state, with being controlled and tortured by HYDRA at the time, but the kid inside of her freaked out, remembering memories of gossiping with her friends about how hot he was in the textbooks and how much of a hero he was. That man was still in there somewhere, hidden by decades of reprogramming and mind-wiping, and Y/N was finally seeing him in the flesh. She would be working with him daily, living in the same space as him. The thought made her giddy like a middle schooler with her first crush,though his presence was intimidating as well.

“Hi there, I’m Y/N L/N, it’s a pleasure to be working with you.” Sticking out her hand, she gave a bright smile, already growing out of her nervous state. 

Sam quickly shook Y/N’s hand, giving a warm greeting in response to her introduction. Then she turned to Bucky. “It’s nice to meet you, Bucky.”

His cold, dead glare locked onto Y/N, staring straight through her soul. It felt like he could see every insecurity and guilty action she had, and she didn’t like it one bit. “That’s Sergeant Barnes to you.” Without another word, he walked out of the room like a petulant child, leaving Sharon, Sam, and Y/N flabbergasted. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N, he’s usually more friendly than that, I’ll go check in on him,” Sharon furiously said with a painfully fake smile. Sam grabbed the new girl by the arm, linking it with his own and led her in another direction as he explained the usual training routine and schedule for the week. 

And while she was completely enraptured by Sam’s comforting words and the exciting compound, her heart still felt heavy from Sergeant Barnes’ cold greeting. 

-

She had tried to be nice. She really had. But after two months it was pretty clear Sergeant Barnes wasn’t getting any better, and Y/N was beyond pissed off. Childish, is what he was being, fucking childish. 

It started off with leaving every room she came into, blatantly ignoring her presence. When she would say hello every morning he’d grunt or even worse, he wouldn’t answer her at all. Y/N had begged Sharon if she knew why the sergeant was acting up, but she didn’t know either and just asked her to ignore him and his “crappy, old-man behaviour”. Sam wasn’t very helpful to Y/N’s cause either, but he was a great mentor and an even better teacher.

Sharon was really the only person Y/N had in her phone, her parents dead and no boyfriend accounted for. The rest of her family had wanted nothing to do with her when she joined SHIELD, but that was okay with her. She knew what she had gotten herself into, and it was an extreme risk to even be acquaintances with her. But now, living with several others in a compound that seemed so large after the great loss, Y/N became part of their family as well. 

It was nice to have friends again, as years of solitude on an island where she knew nobody had made her nearly desperate for more human interaction than with the teenagers who worked the cash registers at the grocery store. Y/N became an integral part of the Avengers (she could actually say that aloud now), going on missions and kicking ass just like she used to. Of course, Sergeant Barnes’ behaviour in and out of missions stayed the same, but she usually tried her best to not take it to heart and move on. After all, she couldn’t have everyone like her.

But one day they both snapped.

Y/N was sitting with Sharon and Wanda, eating lunch and talking over their most recent mission with them and Barnes in Cairo. It hadn’t been a necessarily bad mission, per se, but she had run back into the building to get Wanda out from under a fallen pillar, which apparently was “severely dangerous”. Looking back, she could see how it was, putting her entire team’s secrecy and mission in volatile danger, but Wanda was like her sister and in Y/N’s heart she knew that she had to. Bucky had had to grab them both, nearly dragging her back to the jet before the building had collapsed. He’d been beyond angry with Y/N for the stupid decision, but when they landed he just huffed and stomped away. The redhead was grateful for her and so was Sharon, but lunch was just for a simple stern talking about mission protocols. 

“Y/N, I know that you’re a fantastic agent and even better friend, but when we’re on missions we need that agent. You can’t let your feelings and outside life get in the way of our objective.” Sharon said in a firm voice. Y/N dropped her head in her hands and rubbed her face tiredly.

“I know, Sharon, I’m sorry, Wanda could’ve probably gotten herself out but I just let my instincts act too fast and ran back in without another thought.” She groaned. “Plus, I just caused more damage than anything else. It won’t happen again, I promise.” Wanda and Sharon nodded in understanding just as the Asshole Supreme walked into the kitchen.

“You talking ‘bout how Y/N fucked up the mission yesterday?” Sergeant Barnes grunted. While Sharon and Wanda gasped in shock, Y/N’s eyes were trained at the plate on the table in front of her, not daring to make a sound. She muttered out a sorry and got up to put her dish in the sink. As long as he was here, he was going to make her life a living hell, and as much as she wanted to lash out, it would be cause for her dismissal from the team. While her old, solitary life was what she had once dreamed of, Y/N now saw her future among these people, this family, somewhere she finally felt a part of despite Barnes’ horrid behaviour. “Sorry?” He scoffed, “Sorry doesn’t make up for the fact that I had to run back in for you. Sorry doesn’t make up for the extreme risks we all pull to save your ass out in the field.”

“Bucky, stop.” Sharon yelled.

But he ignored her words and sauntered over to Y/N with a knowing smirk, leaning down to meet her level. His warm breath hit her face and she could stare into his deep eyes, swirling like a raging storm of blues and greys. “You shouldn’t even be out there, L/N. I mean, you haven’t had training in years, it’s not like you were anything special either. Just another agent, hoping to get to work in the big leagues.”

“Shut up.” Y/N whispered meekly. Tears were just barely being held in, her chest feeling empty and hollow with anger and guilt. Is this what it felt like to want to kill someone with so much vengeance? 

“Where were you when Thanos came? Where were you, L/N? We needed all the help we could get, but there you are, in fucking Hawaii, with you little fucking margaritas on the fucking beach-”

“Shut the fuck up!” She screamed. The room went dead silent with her voice. None of the team had seen Y/N look so angry, so sad, so vulnerable, at one time. It was easy for her to hide her emotions and Wanda refrained from trying to toy with her mind, but shame was overwhelming the girl by the second and Sergeant Barnes was right, as much as she didn’t want to say it. She was a coward, thinking she could run away from the “hero life” so easily. They’d caught her, and Barnes was making her face that truth right now. “Don’t you think I know that? Don’t you think I know, that I was absolutely scared shitless of returning here, facing all of you after what you endured for so long?” 

Y/N took a deep breath, laughing mirthlessly as tears ran hot down her cheeks. “I’m sorry that I came back, I really am, but I’m trying my damn best to make up for what I did. Being scared is no excuse for why I ran away, I was fucking terrified of having one more thing to lose. My family is dead, SHIELD fell, and I had no one to lean on so I ran as far as I fucking could. But I’m back now, I’m ready to serve up to what I left behind, and you better fucking deal with it because this,” she jabbed a finger into his broad chest, “is not fucking it. I’m not going to live with your shitty behaviour anymore, Barnes.”

He, Wanda, and Sharon all watched as she slammed the plate into the sink, storming out of the room. They could hear her door slam shut, and the two women glared at Bucky.

“What the hell is your problem, Barnes” Wanda hissed in a scarily low voice. Fuck. He knew he’d messed up then, gone farther than he ever dared to with insulting Y/N, and both of the women were severely overprotective of the new Avenger. 

Sharon walked up to Bucky with large strides, delivering a slap to the side of his head. Yeah, he definitely deserved that. It was dead silent in the kitchen, the tension still high strung from the fight seconds before. “You better go apologize, Barnes, I swear to God this has gotten far too out of hand. You two have a mission tomorrow, estimated a month, and wheels are up at 2300 hours. I need you two to go get the intel quietly and undetected and we can’t have both of you arguing the whole damn time, so you better fix things by then.”

The blonde agent walked away, Wanda trailing behind her, but not without the middle finger from both of them. A mission? Tomorrow? With Y/N? This was going to be horrible. Bucky ran a hand over his face and trudged off to his room. 

It was going to be a long month.

-

Y/N stared out of the window as they flew over the clouds above the Mediteranean Sea. Eleven in the morning in Italy gave a clear view of the skies, light blue as far as she could see. They were ready to start their descent into Azzano and the woman glanced to the man beside her, his stormy blue eyes glaring in any direction but hers. The sergeant had avoided her all he could up until they boarded the jet, and even then he only spoke to her when necessary. “Hey, Barnes, we’re starting to descend, go get ready.”

The brunette looked over to Y/N and grunted in response. Oh well, it was better than him yelling at her. His little outburst in the kitchen had her pissed at him more than ever, but the words thrown around still rung true in her head. But now wasn’t the time to think about that.

She paid careful attention to where she was supposed to land, a shaded facility almost five miles south of where they had to get the intel from an old, but rebuilt HYDRA base. The same base where James Buchanan Barnes was once held captive, experimented on and tortured until Steve Rogers came to save him. Y/N didn’t care much for Barnes usually, but she also didn’t know how he’d react to being in a location with such horrible memories attached to it. They had both been at the mission briefing the day before of course, he knew what it entailed and he seemed unfazed, and he was always good at hiding his emotions. As the jet touched down finally, the agent thought back. Well, sometimes he was good at hiding his emotions.

Making sure her comm fit snugly in her ear, Y/N unbuckled herself from the seat, heading back towards the wall of weaponry they kept in the back of the jet. Barnes was already there dressed in hs black kevlar tactical suit, hugging his body nicely and vibranium arm on display. When he was around her he tried to hide it, and she saw him joking around and being comfortable in other’s presence with it out, wondering what made her so different. She personally found it fascinating, the beauty of the gold and black metal with the incredible Wakandan technology, but she respected his privacy and tried to not think too much about it. 

Y/N threw a vest on over her own navy blue tac suit, tightening her combat boots before she fully zipped up. Were they finally ready?

Three guns perched in holsters by her waist.

Two taps to her earpiece and Barnes’ breathing in her ear.

One mutual nod with the sergeant himself, and they were off, slowly making their way to grab the intel, not a trace to be left behind. 

-

Getting stuck in the trunk of a car was not in the plan. It definitely wasn’t. Bucky remembered every single inch and cranny of that meticulously planned out schedule, every move, every kill they had to make, but not once was it mentioned that Y/N was to get stuck in Baron Zemo’s car without any weapons on her.

“L/N, what the hell do you mean you’re in the back of Zemo’s car.” He seethed, already searching frantically around the large remains of the building for her. It had gone smoothly, she was just supposed to quickly check inside his car as he searched the base. It’ll be so much quicker if I do it, L/N, is what he had said, but now he regretted it. Like the incompetent fool she was, she was spotted and ended up shooting out half of Zemo’s goonies before dropping all her weapons to the ground and running when she ran out of ammunition.

“There may have been a slight misunderstanding,” Y/N whispered into her comm, “but nothing we can’t fix! Just come find me, Barnes, and all will be well.”

She could hear his angry curses and jostling, which she assumed he was running to come find her. It wasn’t entirely Y/N’s fault she had run out of ammo. Some of it must have fallen from her pockets during the shootout and when she saw the car she thought it’d be the perfect place to hide. Until she realized that no one else was at the partially burned down HYDRA base besides Baron Zemo, the person who Sharon had told her to avoid at all costs, and she was in his damn car. Practically her death note.

“If you had just listened to me you wouldn’t have been caught!” Bucky furiously whispered through the comms. 

Y/N rolled her eyes, though he couldn’t even see her, and groaned. “I did listen to you, Barnes, I checked the damn car, but we weren’t expecting his guards to find me so I killed them and hid. Is that actually so bad?” 

“Yes it is!’ He explained. “Give me your coordinates.” She checked the small watch on her wrist, pushing a button on the side that gave a small holographic image of the time and her coordinates on a world wide map. Reciting them for him, Bucky followed, continuing to berate her as he did so. “And you’re right, L/N, I asked you to check the car, not fucking jump inside it!”

This time Bucky could envision her rolling her eyes as she groaned even louder in very Y/N L/N fashion. “Would you rather I be dead?” She asked. It had been a few seconds, but she still received no response. “Barnes?” Crackling. “Sergeant?” Absolute nothingness. “Sarge?”

The trunk of the car opened as the woman let out a squeak, the broad frame of James Barnes hovering above her, some dirt smudged around the annoyed expression on his face. “Don’t call me that.” He grumbled.

He reached his hand towards her, grasping her own tightly before pulling her to a sitting position. “Why, you had all the ladies calling you that back in the day?” She mimicked a much higher tone, nearly resembling Snow White if the princess were high on drugs and had a Brooklyn accent. “Hey, Sarge, we goin’ dancing? Sarge, you goin’ to give me some sweet lovin’ tonight? Oh, how I’d just love for you to shove your fat, ugly head up your a-”

A loud beeping from his wristwatch cut her off. With a glare, the man let go of Y/N’s hand, checking to see what the problem was. A small red tracker on the map moved, and both of them knew they were in deep shit. “Crap, Zemo’s coming this way. That’s one of the trackers I set up on the ground and we gotta go quick.”

Faint whistling from Baron Zemo made both of them panic as Bucky tackled her back down and quickly shut the door behind him. Footsteps were approaching, the whistling getting louder and a door opening let the two Avengers know that they couldn’t get out anytime soon. Y/N could feel Bucky’s racing heart against her chest, hers beating just as fast. He turned to face her, a lot closer than both of them expected, lips dangerously close and noses nudging against each other. Ther breaths mixed together, the hot air of the car doing nothing to help her current close quarters with the man. 

“Can you bust us out of here?” She whispered hurriedly, rather uncomfortable with the present situation.

“We’ll die if we leave now. He’s much more prepared than we thought and with half his men down he knows something is up. Zemo wasn’t even supposed to know we were here so we’re far too unprepared and you lost your damn weapons. There’s no way we can go out so we’re going to stick in here until he gets out.”

Truth be told, Bucky was terrified and had no clue what to do next. Being stuck in a small confined space with Y/N had to be his worst nightmare, especially after he didn’t apologize for his shitty behavior last night. And the night before. 

And the several months before that.

From his view Y/N seemed to be uncomfortable and as the car started moving, she wiggled around, struggling to get as far away from Bucky as she could. He too was extremely uncomfortable, but as her wriggling continued, his already tight fitting pants seemed to get even impossible tighter as she practically grinded on him. 

“Would you stop squirming around?” Y/N shot him what would’ve been a questioning glance if not for the pitch blackness of the trunk, and heard his loud sigh, warm breath fanning across her face. “I’m sorry, I’m having a situation, uh, down there and your wiggling isn’t helping it too much.”

Her face heated up, not knowing what to feel after he said that. Was he… flustered? Y/N had never seen Bucky Barnes anything less than grumpy or professional before.

When she said nothing, he assumed the worst and thought she saw him as a disgusting and creepy person. Before that moment he’d never had any particular care about how Y/N felt, but he knew that there were still a lot of perverts, if not more perverts than back in his day. With his four little sisters always getting catcalled and the crude men who thought women were their property, Bucky knew it was definitely terrifying to be assaulted or any situation such as this. 

There wasn’t much he could do, but he shifted so they weren’t lying down hip bone to hip bone. “Sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable, I don’t want you to think I’m a pervert or anything, it’s just been a while since I, well, y’know…”

“I understand, Barnes, but thank you for apologizing.” Y/N said carefully. It was weird to hear the now shy and surprisingly considerate sergeant apologize to her, but she had to admit that her respect for him had gone up. 

He cleared his throat in return, trying to turn in any other direction besides hers as they listened to the tires of the car bumping along the road, heart wildly thumping. 

It was quiet. Far more quiet than it had ever been when either of them were in the same room. As Y/N stared down at Bucky’s head, almost resting on her stomach, she saw the man she’d read about in middle school. For a moment she was able to look past the last few months of fighting and hatred, and see the noble sergeant she’d admired for so long. 

“You can rest your head if you want to, I knew keeping it up like that must be hurting your neck. I promise I’m okay with it.” She reassured him. With a small hesitation, Barnes submitted to his screaming neck muscles and laid his head on her stomach, the vest providing cushion. A few more seconds of silence and gathering courage, and she finally asked him the question she had been wondering since her first day at the compound. “Why do you hate me?”

I’m jealous, he wanted to say, but he wasn’t brave enough to say it. With a small sigh, he managed to get out, “I don’t.”

“Then why are you so cold to me all the time?” Emotions that were borrowed so deep inside Y/N’s chest seemed to come barreling out, seeping into every question that she asked. “Am I really that horrible an agent? Do you not think I’m trying my best? I know I made a mistake, I wasn’t there when you all needed me, but I’m trying so, so damn hard to make up for it. I swear on my life, and every one that comes after it, that I’m-”

“It’s not you, it’s me, God damn it!” Bucky exclaimed angrily. Both of their blood ran cold in fear that Zemo might have heard them, but the radio continued to drone on in the background, nothing seeming to have changed. He took a deep sigh and tried how to best explain it to her. Even though he’d probably never have Y/N’s forgiveness for insulting her so plainly and hurting her so much, he felt as though she deserved as much as his reasoning as to why he “disliked” her so much. It was difficult for him to say, having to also put his pride away for once to just admit it. “I’m jealous of you, Y/N. You got the sweet life for a while, and that’s all I’ve ever wanted. When you look at us who remain, not a single one of us was planning to be an Avenger. You were getting the dream home, the kids, the family that I’ve wanted since I was a boy back in Brooklyn, and all you had to do to get it was run away. It was so simple.”

Y/N’s eyes widened, not at all expecting that. “It wasn’t all too much ‘sweet life’, you know? It was my dream when I was younger, I thought being an agent was temporary and then I’d move into a big, old house with a loving spouse and have millions of little carbon copies of myself to occupy my days. But the truth about what we do is that we can only stay away from it for so long, Barnes. With people like us,” she squeezed her eyes shut, letting the final tears roll down her cheeks, “there’s no running away from the hero's life. It's just who we are. We’ve already done too much to change that part of our lives.” 

Y/N felt him nod through the fabric on her skin, sniffles letting her know that he was crying too. They were connected. All the shouting, all the yelling, the pain, the battles, the fore, the blood, the years of torture, all led to this moment. This historic moment in Y/N and Bucky’s relationship where they both waved white flags, wet faces and hearts filled with sorrow for the life they never had. 

“I’m so sorry for the way I dealt with my anger and jealousy, Y/N.” Bucky croaked. 

“I used to idolize you when I was a kid.” Y/N recalled with a faint smile on her face. “In the eighth grade I wrote a history paper on you, Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes, American hero and inspiration to all. And you know, I always kinda had a crush on you. Wondered what it would be like if you were still alive, if you would’ve gone home after the war, if you would’ve had a family. No matter what wild thoughts ran through my head, though, you were always my hero.” Bucky took her confession in shock, pure amazement and surprise coursing through his body. Maybe a little bit of sadness, longing for that old life, maybe a bit of bashfulness of her having a crush on his as a schoolgirl. “And then I met you and you were this grumpy, irritable old man who seemed to despise me as soon as I walked in the door. Definitely not what I had expected.” He opened his mouth, ready to apologize again, when her next words cut him off. “I want to start over, don’t you?”

How was she so calming? Her words were exactly what he needed to hear and didn’t need to at the same time. Her voice brought back all the old memories of running around New York with Steve as a kid, reminding him of his wise ma in a way. “There’s nothing I’d like more than that, Y/N.”

Y/N smiled to herself, looking towards the top of the car. “Perfect.”

And with the twinkle in her eye and his head resting on her stomach with a small grin, it really was.

[anythingbutmar]

My fucking idiot

Diego Hargreeves x reader

Summary: Five definitely fucked up somehow, thanks to that you were alone for a long time until you found Diego again, and now you had to go save his ass.

A/N: This was so fun to write! I genuinely loved this concept so so much so thanks anon!

Warnings: cursing, mentions of stalking, slight spiciness towards the end.

“What a fucking idiot.” You laughed as your coworker read a newspaper story about some guy that ended up in a mental hospital and had tried to break out several times. “So why did they take him in anyways?”

“Oh, he was rambling to everyone on the street about the president getting killed or something.” You instantly lifted your head from the cereal boxes you were holding. Could it be? You had landed alone and you didn’t know where the others were, but the only ones who knew JFK would die were those who came from the future, meaning Diego, his siblings, and you.

A wave of excitement came over your body as you thought about seeing a familiar face. “Can I see that?” He handed the newspaper and you almost dropped it. There he was, his hair and beard way longer than what you remembered but it was still him, the love of your life was staring back at you with that murderous look of his, and you knew exactly where to find him.

You took your apron off and ran out of the store. “Y/N what’s wrong?!” Your coworker screamed at you.

“That’s my fucking idiot!” You yelled back with tears streaming down your face.

You hadn’t expected to see him any time soon, in fact you thought you would never see him again but how could you not know the moment you heard that? Who else would try to stop the president from getting killed? Certainly not Klaus or Vanya.

You smiled to yourself at the thought of finding everyone, you missed them all, but the first stop was your boyfriend.

You had met Diego during one of his vigilante nights. You worked as a waitress at a bar which was pretty cool actually, you often had to endure catcalls but the payment was enough for your needs.

There was a problem though, your neighborhood was terribly dangerous, especially at the end of your shift, so that one night you were headed for your apartment, bag clutched under your arm when you noticed someone was following you. You started walking faster until you thought you lost them, but when you looked back there was a man pinned to the wall with some knives and another one punching him in the face. He ended up walking you home, and started doing so every night until one time he asked you out and you couldn’t say no, you fell for him the moment you saw him standing there with his funny looking suit and his angry eyes.

And of course, his ability with knives was quite... appealing, to say the least.

And so, after living together for a while he asked you to come with him to his dad’s funeral, which ended on you trying to stop the apocalypse with no special gifts or powers, which in turn ended up with you landing on an alley in 1962, completely alone.

As you stood by the doors of the asylum you thought of how much you’d love to have Allison’s rumor sometimes, at least with that you wouldn’t have to convince any guards of letting you in.

Or maybe you could use a different strategy...

You smiled mischievously as a young nervous nurse passed by your side, a rookie. “Perfect” you thought to yourself.

“Hey could you help me? I think I’m lost.” You gave her your most innocent look right before punching her on the jaw, just like Diego had taught you to.

You dragged her to an empty alley and stared at her angelic face, poor naïve little thing. You stripped, switching clothes with her and hiding her behind an old mattress before walking towards the hospital again, this time with a lot more confidence and an ID on your hand.

Doris it read. “Wish me luck, Doris.” You whispered to it as you were about to reach the gate. You might not have been Allison but you were a great liar, you just hoped that was enough to get you to your boyfriend.

Except, no one was there, there were no guards around and a loud siren started sounding along with gunshots. Gunshots? Shit. You started climbing the gates with the useless, uncomfortable nurse uniform, ripping the skirt and staining it with rust from the aged cold metal you were climbing.

You sighed when you reached the top worriedly looking at the silhouettes of some men with big ass shotguns. “No!” You screamed as you fell from the scare of more gunshots. Thankfully, you fell on top of mud, which stained you whole but prevented you from breaking your spine. You stood quickly and started running to where you saw the men in the windows because you just fucking knew if you found trouble, you would find Diego.

And you were right.

You had no idea of where you were, you had just ran underground behind some armed guards, but when you were finally able to catch up with them, they were gone, and instead you found him.

“Diego?” He turned around instantly at the sound of your voice, and ran towards you with tears in his eyes as soon as he saw you. You jumped on him and hugged him like never before, not giving three fucks about your makeup staining his white shirt or your skirt lifting over your butt.

“What are you doing here?” He exclaimed, not letting go of your form.

“I’m saving you, you dumbass!” You laughed as he set you down and placed his hands on your cheeks, as if he wanted to check if you were real.

“I hate to ruin this but we still have to run if we wish to live.” Said a girl with a british accent that you hadn’t noticed before.

“Who are you?” You asked as you took Diego’s hand and started following her.

“I’m Lila, and I believe you’re famous Y/N.” She gave you a wide smile that scared you a bit, you’d ask Diego about the fact that you were seemingly breaking out a crazy lady from the sanatory when you were alone.

After running for quite a while, Lila stole a car for you which finally gave you some space to talk things through.

“So how’d you find me?” He asked with genuine curiosity, the poor thing had no idea.

“Your face is on every newspaper baby, they’re calling you a cuban exile with hallucinations.”

“Cuban?” He seemed more offended by the nationality change than the other accusations, which you found a bit silly, if you were being honest.

“How long were you in there?” You worriedly ran your hands through his now shoulder length hair.

“A month or so, he caused quite some chaos, you know? That’s a wild one you got there girl.” Lila answered for him making you laugh, you were starting to take a liking to the strange woman.

“You look so damn hot on that uniform.” He mouthed to you so Lila wouldn’t notice his dirty talk.

“Wait till you see what’s underneath.” You mouthed back winking at him and smiling as he raised his eyebrows.

You took his hand and rubbed circles on it, knowing everything would be fine now that you were together.

[ibelieveindragons141]

Tingling | Diego hargreeves x reader

Requested by @infinitelyforgotten who asked for: fluffy Diego where the reader dropped into 1963 with him. When he gets admitted to the psych-hospital the reader visits him everyday and promises to get him out (but even with her powers she can’t think of a way to spring him out-until Five shows up). Diego is so glad to be out to stop JFK’s assassination, but mostly so he can hug & kiss the reader again. Maybe when they (Five, Reader, Diego, and Lila) head to find Reginald, Diego dances with the reader and they get caught up in each other for a while before remembering their task.

Word count: 1369

Warnings: none!

A/N: I am so sorry this took so long!

"Here to see Diego Hargreeves?"

You shot to your feet. "Here."

The orderly raised an eyebrow at you and said, "You're in here everyday, doll. Must be one hell of a guy."

You smiled, "He is."

He opened the door to reveal Diego sitting at a table, hair unruly and hanging over his eyes, wearing a white uniform.

"Y/n," he looked up and grinned at you. You sat down across from him.

"How are you?"

He shrugged. "No different from yesterday." He leaned in, "You got any new ideas for an escape plan?"

You shook your head sadly. "No. Unfortunately, air manipulation is kinda obvious. If they caught us, you'd be locked up even tighter, and they'd probably ship me off to some government facility for experiments." You shuddered.

Diego reached across the table and held your hand. "Hey, I won't let that happen."

You glanced up and stared into his eyes, deep brown pools conveying as much comfort as they could.

"No touching the patients!" The orderly by the door snapped.

Diego retracted his hand slowly, not wanting to stop the only physical contact you'd had in weeks.

You felt a tingle, like electricity, where he touched you.

"Any news on the others?" He asked.

"No, but I'll keep looking. They must be somewhere, right? They can't have just disappeared."

"Unless they're dead."

You gasped, "Diego!"

"What? Y/n, you have to consider all the possibilities."

You thought about crazy, flamboyant Klaus, sweet Vanya, kind Allison, wicked smart Five, Luther's leadership, even of Ben and his crazy book obsession. To imagine them gone seemed unthinkable.

"No. They're not gone, Diego."

"Y/n," he spoke softly. "I'm just trying to protect you. I want you to be prepared for the worst."

You shook your head and frowned. "If they were gone, I'd feel it."

"Y/n-"

"I'd know, Diego."

He didn't look convinced, but let it go.

"So, made any friends yet?" You teased.

He narrowed his eyes at you. "More than you."

You feigned an insulted expression, "How dare you! I am a delight."

He smirked, "Oh, I know you are."

Leaning forwards, you said, "Once you get out, I'm gonna show you just how much of a delight I can be."

His eyes lit up. "Is that a fact?"

"When have I ever lied to you?"

He tilted his head, "Well.."

"Time's up."

The man by the door's harsh voice put an abrupt end to your teasing. This was the worst part, leaving. You stood up solemnly and said, "I'll be back tomorrow, I promise."

Diego gave you a small nod. "Good."

You gave him one last tight smile before turning and leaving.

_______________________________________________________________

Diego's head was spinning. Five would be back. He would get out. Save the president. Be with y/n, really with her, not just sitting a couple feet apart.

Everything would be fine. It had to be.

The sound of gunshots brought him back to reality: being chased by three maniacs with Lila.

Once they finally made it outside, he collided with something- or rather, someone.

"Ow!" You cried.

Warm hands gripped your upper arms, "Y/n?"

Diego.

You stared up at him, eyes shining brightly. "Fancy meeting you here."

Diego shook his head with exasperation and surprised you by grabbing your waist and crashing his lips onto yours. You shut your eyes and placed your hands on his chest, melting into the kiss.

"While this is lovely," An accented woman's voice interrupted your kiss, "We are currently being chased by some very scary men with very scary guns, so if we could maybe pick this up later.."

Diego shot her a glare, "Shut up, Lila."

She shrugged.

The doors burst open revealing three white-haired men who did in fact have very scary guns.

"Go," you said, turning to face them. "I go this"

"Y/n-" Diego started, but Lila yanked his arm saying, "Don't be an idiot. If she says she's got this then she's got this."

As they ran, he glanced back to see you raise your arms, causing a gust of wind to divert the bullets' path into a nearby car. He loved watching you use your powers, you were so graceful and your movements so fluid.

You threw the gunmen back, knocking the weapons from their hands and raced over to Diego and Lila, who was trying to jump start a car.

"That was cool," she commented, still focused on the wires in her hands.

"Thanks," you replied, breathing a little heavier than usual.

Diego kissed you. "What would I do without you?"

You pecked his nose, making him blush, "Probably die."

"Got it!" Lila cried as the car roared to life.

_______________________________________________________________

"I've never been to the Mexican consulate," you said, walking beside Diego, Five, and Lila into the stone building.

Diego raised his eyebrows, "Really? Why not?"

You bumped your shoulder into his. "Shut up."

Soft trumpet music was playing in the back round, and looking around the room, couldn't help but feel under-dressed in your simple purple dress.

As if sensing your discomfort, Diego leaned in and said, "Don't worry, you look beautiful." To Five, he said, "I don't see dad anywhere."

"Just keep an eye out for the Majestic Twelve."

You snorted, which earned a sharp look from Five. "Sorry, but it's a ridiculous title."

"That may be," Five said, "But trust me, nothing about them is ridiculous."

"So, what's the plan?" Diego asked, eyes still scanning the room.

"You and y/n stay down here. Lila and I will take the upstairs."

You heard him hiss quietly to Lila, "I want to keep an eye on you."

You frowned. What did that mean?

Diego distracted you by pulling you into the next room. "They're playing our song."

He pulled you close, wrapping one arm tightly around your waist and taking your hand gently in his. You placed your other palm on the back of his neck and felt the tingling again travel through your fingertips. He spun you, getting lost in the music, and ran his hands down your sides sending a shiver up your spine. You whirled around to face him again.

"Someone's got moves."

"One ever knows when dance will mean the difference between life and death,” he did a terrible impression of Reginald making you laugh brightly.

"You're an idiot."

He moved closer, so you were swaying more than dancing, and pressed your foreheads together.

"I love you."

You rubbed your nose gently against his, "I love you, too."

He suddenly dipped you, making you jump. You smirked and took a step back.

"Switch," you deadpanned.

"Wha-"

You grabbed his waist and pulled him to you. "Just follow my lead."

He scoffed, but let you lead him.

Eventually, you reverted back to your initial roles and rested your head against his chest, tucked under his chin.

His fingers brushed a few loose strands of hair off your cheek, leaving a trail of electricity in their wake.

Suddenly, you felt a cold, heavy weight against your back.

"Mind if I cut in?" An unfamiliar voice shattered your peace. It belonged to a tanned, blond man who clearly spent way too much time on his hair.

Diego's gaze hardened and you felt his arm tighten around you, shifting you so the other man's hand dropped back down to his side.

"Yeah, I do. So back off."

The other man gave you a sneer and said, "Now, see, I wasn't really askin'."

When he took a step closer, Diego whipped out a knife faster than you'd ever seen him do before and held it to his throat.

"I said, back off."

The creep's eyes widened and he quickly fled.

Diego watched him go with dark eyes.

"Hey," you whispered, cupping his cheek. "You okay?"

He looked back at you and softened.

Wordlessly, Diego put his knife back in his belt and hugged you tightly.

"No one will every take me away from you, Diego." You reassured him quietly.

"Good." He murmured, his breath dancing lightly across your face.

And even as he rushed off in search of mom, that tingling feeling never left.

A/n: Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think and feel free to send me a request! :)

[virtueangel]

limitless.

chapter ten. 

wc: 2,012. original publish date: october 20, 2020. 

"John?" Vincent whispers, his forehead against the taller boy's and their noses nuzzled together.

"Yeah?"

"We should, um," Van Gogh swallows, his eyelashes fluttering against JFK's cheeks. "We should go back to the house. I'm hungry and I think some of the wetness of the marsh is seeping in through my boots."

Kennedy lets the boy down off of his toes, unwrapping his arm from around his waist and standing up straight. Van Gogh feels cool April mist dotting his forehead, taking a second to get used to the cold that John's closeness prevented.

"Right," JFK replies, cheeks still pink.

The two walk back to the car side by side, bumping shoulders and grasping fingers in bubbly silence. The time feels endless, yet so rushed. Van Gogh wishes it could last forever.

***

Back at the house, JFK empties a bag of chips into one of the largest salad bowls he could find in the cupboard.

"It's too early for all that salt!" Vincent protests, walking into the kitchen with a blanket wrapped around himself.

"Cold?" JFK asks, ignoring the boy's comment.

"Yeah, actually. It's freezing in here. You think they've got heat?"

"Who is 'they'? I told you, I really don't think anybody lives here."

"Look at me," Van Gogh says, changing the subject.

Kennedy crumples up the chip bag and drops it onto the counter before turning around. "I'm looking."

Vincent swallows. He needs to know what the kiss meant -- if it meant the same to JFK that it did to him. If the kissing is going to continue. But he can't ask that outright. Not with Kennedy; not with a boy who knows how to weasel his way out of any commitment.

Van Gogh steps forward boldly, dropping the blanket from around his shoulders to take John's face in his hand. His eyes flutter shut as he closes the gap between their mouths, leaving a soft kiss on the boy's lips. This one is different from the last two -- sweet and cottony, but there's something else behind it; something hard, as if to say, I'm here and I'm real and I want you.

"Will there be more of that?" Kennedy asks, his eyes grazing over the boy's figure.

Vincent shrugs coolly, even though the inside of him is red and searing with heat. "Only if you want there to be."

"I do-"

"But only if," Van Gogh interrupts. "Only if you're serious about it." He drops his voice so low it's almost a whisper.

"I don't kiss for free, Vincent."

"Yes, you do," Van Gogh interrupts in a low voice. "You always do."

"I'm trying to stop-"

"You're doing it to Cleo. And I'm not Cleo."

JFK kisses the boy's forehead, flipping some of his hair out of the way. "You're not Cleo," he agrees.

Vincent beams up at John with a satisfied smile. "Good. Now that that's out of the way... what are we going to do for the rest of the day?"

"We can explore," JFK suggests, taking a bite of a chip.

"But I'm all cozy now!" Van Gogh whines, the blanket draped over his shoulders once again.

"Okay, then, what do you want to do?" Kennedy asks, leaning against the counter behind him.

"In all seriousness?" Vincent asks, a sly smile curling around his lips. He already has an idea.

"Yes, in all seriousness,  mio tesoro."

Van Gogh flashes him a pleasantly surprised smile. Since when does he know Italian? "I want to sit on the balcony, under the awning, and watch the rain with you."

"It's not raining, Minivan," JFK says, but his words are light.

"You said 'in all seriousness'. That was in all seriousness."

Kennedy smiles and can't help fussing up Vincent's hair with his palm, the tough skin of his hand snagging on the boy's bandages. Van Gogh slaps his hand away instinctively, brushing his hair with his fingers in an attempt to lay it back into its natural style.

"Can I ask you a question, Vinny?" John asks, his mouth full with another chip.

"I don't see why not," Van Gogh grumbles.

"Were you born with only one ear, or are the bandages just an homage to your father?"

Gogh blinks up at the boy, wondering how he doesn't already know the answer. More than a decade of friendship, and he's never asked until now? "I cut it off myself, actually," Vincent says, fixing his eyes on the speckled tile floor.

"What? No, you didn't," JFK smiles uneasily.

Van Gogh looks back up at Kennedy, urgent surprise warping his face. "Yes, I did."

"You took a knife to your own head and cut it off?"

Vincent nods feebly.

"Did it hurt?"

"Of course it hurt, dipshit," he rolls his eyes.

JFK raises his arms defensively. "So, what, you've eaten paint, too?"

Vincent clenches his jaw. "No, I did not eat paint. That shit's toxic. I could die."

John doesn't say what he's thinking. He knows words in the air are real, could make something come true. I thought you wanted to die.

"That question was insensitive, JFK," Van Gogh whispers, wrapping himself in his own arms.

"I'm sorry," Kennedy whispers back. He abandons the bowl of chips and crosses the kitchen, kneeling down in front of Vincent to look up into his eyes. John rests his hands on Van Gogh's arms and squeezes, the warmth from his palms transferring over to the smaller boy. He feels it snake through his whole body and he feels like he could melt, like he could sink to his knees and let JFK envelop him.

"How old were you when you did it? I don't remember you without the bandages."

"At first it was an homage to my father," Vincent explains, avoiding eye contact. "My foster parents cared about me before I turned four... they wanted me to look like him, to feel like him. They didn't want me to get lost in his shadow. So they arranged my bedroom to look just like the one he had in Arles and dressed me up in his clothes. They wrapped bandages around my head every night, my dad tying them under my chin and my mom holding me steady. I hated it, you know. I didn't know what it meant, why it was so important to them for me to put on his face.

"But eventually, they stopped caring about me. It was one of my routines, putting on the bandages, and I felt empty without them. I got used to the way they felt around my head, with just enough pressure to remind me that they were there. I liked the muscle memory once I started tying them myself. I need my routines, you know? So I continued to put them on , and I even started sleeping in them because once my parents started leaving, I needed the comfort and security that came with repeating the same thing every day. And I guess part of it was that it reminded me of my foster parents, of the closeness that we had for those two minutes when I was getting the bandages on.

"And then I got older. I grew up and realised that the world isn't all cotton candy and sugarplums and rainbows. I started reading books about the real Van Gogh -- not picture books, like actual novels -- and I wanted to be him so badly. I wanted to paint like him. I wanted to pour my life into something that other people could enjoy. I know he had his own share of problems, and I guess that transferred over to me or something once I started thinking like him, I don't know. But right before eighth grade ended, it was all too much. The pressure to be like him and the worry that I never could be... it all got to me.

"So I don't know why I cut my ear off. It could've been because I wanted to be closer to him, to look like him and feel like him. Or it could've been because I was so severely mentally ill, even back then, and I wanted the pain or maybe I thought it could be an outlet or something. I really don't know. But to answer your question... I was fourteen when I cut my own ear off," he laughs nervously. "It hurt like a bitch, but at least it justified having the bandages, you know?"

"Oh, Vincent," Kennedy mutters, reaching up to cup the boy's cheek. He turns Van Gogh's head gently, silently pleading for Vincent to look at him. "You're just as good as him, in every way."

"I don't know if that's a good thing, JFK."

"He went off the rails, Minivan. You don't have to."

Van Gogh looks down at John, but there's a dead look in his eyes. It shoots right through Kennedy's skin, cutting into his bones like a laser.

"I can feel myself going off the rails already," he replies. "I'm going to do something terrible, I can feel it."

John slides his grip down from Van Gogh's arm to squeeze his hand. "I'm right here, okay? I'll be the first to admit that I'm not very good at this. I don't know what it's like to feel the way you feel, to be the clone of someone who was so plagued by mental illness. But I'm here. I can listen," he sighs. "God, I really know how to listen."

A moment of silence passes before Vincent says, "Are you sure you can put up with someone so obsessive-compulsive? So sad, so... confused?"

"Yes," JFK breathes. "We've been together our whole lives. Nothing's going to change just because we're..."

"God, I hope something changes," Vincent smiles warily, trying to make a joke.

Kennedy smiles back and lets out a shaky breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "Okay, maybe a few things will change..."

"I still wanna watch the rain," Vincent says with a relieved laugh.

"Vinny! There's no rain to watch!"

"Okay, and? That doesn't stop me from wanting to see it!"

JFK stands up off the floor to kiss the boy on the temple. "You've always loved the rain."

"I have."

Kennedy kisses Vincent again, on the nose this time. "Come on. Let's see if they've got cable in this hellhole."

Van Gogh takes a deep breath, resting his cheek against the softness of the taller boy's sweater. He can smell the detergent and the fabric softener, fresh and clean inside his nostrils. He grips John's hand dependently as they make their way through the kitchen and into the living room, just as side-by-side as always. They sit down on the couch together, JFK in the corner with one arm on the armrest and the other pulling Van Gogh close. He kisses the top of the boy's fiery red hair, more aware of the bandage than ever.

***

"Maybe it'll rain tonight," Vincent says when their Netflix movie is over. He's still wrapped in JFK's arm, pressed tightly to the boy's body.

"I'd like that."

"Oh yeah? How come?"

"Because your room would be too cold to sleep in and you'd climb into my bed and fall asleep with me," Kennedy grins at the thought.

Van Gogh kisses the boy's jaw. "I was planning on doing that anyway, dipshit."

"Why are you so smiley?" Vincent asks a moment later, hardly containing his own grin.

"Because," JFK replies, gazing down at the boy affectionately.

"Because why?" Vincent prompts.

"Because I don't date, but I think that's going to change soon, all because of you."

"Can I tell you something, Jack?" Vincent stares straight ahead, suddenly nervous about using an old nickname.

John doesn't comment on it. "Anything, Minivan."

"I think the real reason you decided to take this trip all of a sudden, was to get closer to me."

Kennedy kisses the top of Van Gogh's head -- right on the bandage, his favourite spot -- and laughs into the boy's hair. "That is almost definitely, partially true."

[keanureevesisbae]

Caught in a Blizzard - Part 3

Summary: Luna and Chris can finally fly back to the States, only to discover that the world gotten to know of their little adventures. 

Pairing: Chris Evans x Luna Hwang (Asian OFC)

Warnings: Mentions of sex, nothing serious. 

Wordcount: 4.2k

A/N: if you want to be on the taglist, just let me know! Also, I love to read your guys’ thoughts and feedback xx

Masterlist // Part 2 // 

After having tons of sex with Chris Evans on the first day of being stuck in a hotel room, I have come to the conclusion that he is a beast in bed, but an absolute sweetheart in aftercare. We still can’t leave our hotel room (his hotel room, excuse me), but we have plenty of stuff to do around here. After the long shower we took and indeed had sex again, he had room service bring up some fresh pairs of underwear for me to wear.

As a joke I said that we could walk around naked instead, not bother wearing clothes, but I didn’t realize that he would take that seriously. The only time he forces me to wear a shirt, is when we’re cooking, because he doesn’t want me to get hurt.

We’re in bed together, my sweaty naked body pressed against his, my center still throbbing in slight pain. The way this man uses me, is something no one has ever done before. I can’t help but think back about how he bend me over the bar, pushed me against the wall. But after that, he completely changes.

He presses soft kisses on my skin, massages my shoulders and whispers sweet nothings in my ear. I think I will dream about this for years and no man can ever do these things to me that Chris did. Poor guy who is going to have sex with me after Chris Evans, because this man raised the bar.

‘You are so beautiful,’ Chris whispers and I can hear the smile on his face. ‘Has anyone ever told you that?’

‘They did,’ I admit, ‘but no one seemed to mean it like you do.’

‘That’s what I thought, sweetheart,’ he chuckles.

I place my hand on his chest, as I turn on my stomach. I look at his beautiful face. Of course I’m thinking about our eventual next steps. What will happen once we get out of this hotel room? What will happen when we are back in the States? Will he want to continue this? Because I know I want to, but I get that he doesn’t want to continue this. I mean, he is almost forty, I’m just a young woman, who will turn twenty four soon. Maybe it shouldn’t become more, but should it stay like this. Just some lovely sexual encounters when we had nowhere to go.

‘You are so handsome, Chris,’ I whisper. ‘And so kind.’ I want to place my leg over his, but I softly wince.

‘You okay?’ he asks and he looks so genuinely worried, something that makes my heart swell.

‘I’m just sore,’ I chuckle.

‘I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t mean to mean to hurt you.’

‘You didn’t hurt me, Chris.’ I chuckle and give him a kiss on his bearded cheek. ‘I’m just impressed that you can keep up.’

‘Just because I’m going to be forty soon, doesn’t mean I’m dead or in desperate use of viagra, Luna.’

I can’t help but laugh. ‘I didn’t mean it like that,’ I whisper. ‘I’m going to take a bath.’

‘You want a bath?’ Chris sits up and adds: ‘I can arrange that right now.’ He tells me to stay put as he walks bare naked to the bathroom that is attached to this bedroom. I smile as I think about the things he did to me. I don’t want this to ever end. This blizzard can go on for life, because I want to have this.

Forever.

I hear the water running and he walks back into the room with a smile. He crawls back on the bed and gives me a kiss, followed by tons more. ‘You ready for a bath, beautiful?’ He lifts me up without a hitch and carries me to the bathroom. He slowly lets me sink into the warm water and he gets in behind me.

He massages my shoulders, as he kisses my temple. ‘Tell me something nice, sweetheart.’

I can’t help but chuckle. ‘Like what?’

‘Doesn’t matter. Tell me what you think when you are on stage.’

‘I don’t think a lot,’ I say. ‘It’s almost like a second nature, you know. I hear the beats in my in-ears and I just go and— Chris, how can I have a serious conversation with you, when you’re massaging my breasts?’

‘Sorry, sorry, sorry,’ he chuckles. ‘I don’t know what you are doing to me, but you are insatiable.’

I turn around in the water, as it gushes over the edge, but neither of us seem to care. I give him a long kiss and sigh deeply, as I look into his beautiful eyes. ‘Chris, when we get home, what are we going to do?’

‘Well, I have to go to LA for filming, but I know for a fact that I want to continue doing this.’ He smiles and kisses me. ‘Because I haven’t felt like this in years.’

‘Is it because I’m a younger model?’

He rolls his eyes as he scoffs. ‘It’s because you are who you are. You are smart, you are an amazing performer and all in all, you are exactly my type.’

‘Good thing that you are mine as well.’

✘ ✘ ✘

Two days later, it’s safe for the planes to fly again, so we can finally go back to the USA. Chris is going to LA, while I have to stay in New York City. Despite that, he decided to travel with me, changing flights on JFK.

The following two days were filled with conversations about his anxiety, my lack of trust in people. We had sex, took long showers and baths, we cooked together, watched movies and had more sex. Besides the fact that Chris Evans is an absolute animal with a stamina that guys all over the world are jealous of (I mean, I had to adopt a complete new walk, because of how sore I am), he is also the greatest guy to be around with. He is funny, he is intelligent and I’ve gotten to know him on a deeper level.

The way he told me about the things that go through his mind when he deals with an anxiety attack, it was so vulnerable. Besides that, thanks to him, I’ve gotten to know myself on a deeper level. I know who I am now. Okay, I have a better idea now of who I am.

During our flight, I took multiple naps against his large and strong frame and I really dread the moment where we have to say our goodbyes. I hate saying goodbye. I’m not even good with goodbyes. Every time I had to say goodbye to my foster family, I remember crying, because I had met these new people and I wanted to prove that I was a good foster kid. But I was forced to another family and you never knew how long that was going to last.

Saying goodbye to my band members, was a whole new level weird. They were mad, but on the other hand they seemed to care about me. About us as a group, despite everything I did.

Chris holds onto my hand when we get off the plane, his fingers intertwined through mine. Since we don’t want to be recognized, we’re both wearing a bucket hat, that is completely covering our eyes.

We stop walking and I realize that this is it. I have to say goodbye to him now. I sigh deeply. ‘You have to hurry,’ I say to him. ‘You don’t want to miss your flight.’

Chris simply nods, before he wraps his arms rightly around my upper body. ‘When I’m done in LA, we’ll see each other again,’ he assures me. ‘Besides, I have your number and was going to stalk you anyways, if you don’t mind.’

I smile. ‘I wouldn’t mind at all, mister Evans.’

He presses a long kiss on my lips, adjusting my hat after he lets me go. ‘Get home safely, Luna.’

‘Yeah, you too.’

He waves when he walks off and he looks like such a dork doing so. I have to say that without a doubt, these were the best days of my life. Touring around the world with my girls was amazing. Releasing my first album was fantastic.

But getting to know Chris Evans like I’ve gotten to know him in these days, was next level.

I hail a cab and tell the driver my address. I lean back, watching as snow falls out of the sky, but it’s not nearly as bad as it was in London.

I get out when I’m at my apartment building and I can’t help but to whistle as I walk towards the elevator, getting in and pressing on the button with the sixteen on it. My mood can’t be killed now, I think to myself, as I walk to my apartment door. Chris has my number, he’ll annoy me with texts and we’ll definitely meet again. How many times have I fantasized about this? There was one celebrity in the entire world that I wanted to meet, that I wanted to get to know more and now I know him.

I open the door of my apartment and I attach my phone to its charger. It died when I left the hotel with Chris, but I’d rather spend my time with him. Besides, his charger didn’t fit my phone. I walk around my place for awhile, pouring in some water for me and when I walk back to my phone, I see I have messages in the Brave Elegance chat.

Why would they text me? We haven’t used that chat in months since the break up. Did something happen? Or worse, did someone die?

Pixie: Uh, Luna, you need to tell us something. Are you okay?

Faith: What happened?

Rosie: Is Luna okay?

Daliah: OMG IS IT TRUE?

Rosie: Hello, maybe one of you can tell us what happened?

Pixie: Shit, she is not receiving the messages.

Faith: Please answer the fucking question, guys. It’s not that hard. What happened? What is true?

Daliah: TMZ released pictures of Luna and Chris Evans in a hotel room after the Graham Norton show. They are pretty graphic.

Pixie: Daliah, you are an adult now, you can just say that she is naked, just like Chris.

Rosie: Oh my God, Luna!

Faith: We can’t leave you alone for two seconds can we?

My heart stops beating for a few seconds. I quickly google my own name, together with Chris’ and I audibly gasp. It’s true. The pictures of us… No, this can’t happen! I don’t want this to happen.

What sick bastard would make pictures of this? Oh my God, I’m so naked. This can’t be true.

Not only is this terrible for my own career, but for Chris’ as well.

Luna: Shit…

Pixie: You want us to come over?

Luna: You guys made it pretty clear the last time we saw each other that you didn’t want to see me anymore…

Faith: We are aware that we did say that, but we know you, Luna. We want to be there for you.

Rosie: No matter how we disbanded, we will always be Brave Elegance. Besides, I think we need to talk about not only this, but about the entire disbandment as well.

Daliah: I don’t care if you don’t want to see us, because I’m in a cab already.

Rosie: I’ll be bringing the needed snacks!

Pixie: See you in a bit, Luna!

✘ ✘ ✘

I wouldn’t call the pictures pornographic, but I’m pretty naked. I feel so violated, being pictured like this during some intimate times. I know exactly what Chris Evans is doing in those pictures to me. It is even shown how he lifts me up in his arms, to carry me to the bathroom.

I do have to thank the universe that the paparazzi only took pictures of the first time we had sex. I can’t imagine them seeing the positions and the things we did later on. I mean, Kama Sutra seemed pretty prude compared to what we did.

I’m dragged out of my thoughts when I see all of the members in front of my apartment door. Sweet little Daliah in her bright pink coat, tough Pixie with her hair cut short, tall Rosie who dyed her hair blonde again, because she thinks it fits her better (that’s true) and Faith who looks like she doesn’t care, but I know her. I know she cares.

‘Hi,’ I say.

‘Luna,’ Daliah says, being the first to engulf me in her arms. I never thought I would ever see them again, let alone hug them. I place my chin on her shoulder, as I pull her body closer to mine. ‘We are here for you, Moonshine.’

I can’t help but smile when I hear my nickname again. It has been so long.

‘I’m such an idiot,’ I say, as I let go of the youngest of the five of us.

‘You are not,’ Rosie says, cupping my cheek. ‘We do need to talk about this and thank goodness I brought snacks. I have chips and chocolate, but I also brought pretzels. I know you don’t like them, but the rest of us do, so just don’t eat it.’

The rest of them walks in and Faith looks at me for a second. ‘Whether you like it or not,’ she says, ‘we’re always a team.’

I don’t know about that actually. It’s all my fault really that we broke up and I guess this is Karma hitting back at me, in a very cumbersome way.

We sit around the table, snacks and drinks in the middle and I think about the moment Brave Elegance was formed. We were young, we were naive and very nervous. But somehow it worked, it clicked, despite being five totally different girls from totally different backgrounds. The only thing that we had in common, was being Korean American teenage girls.

‘So,’ Pixie says, ‘correct me if I’m wrong, but you went to London for an interview, afterwards met Chris Evans again, but drunk, went with him to his hotel room where you had sex with him and TMZ managed to take picture of the occasion.’

‘That sums it up, yeah,’ I mumble.

‘Was that the only time you had sex with him?’ Rosie asks and my cocked eyebrow must be the answer to her seemingly rhetorical question. ‘Right.’

‘Have you called Chris already?’ Daliah asks.

I shake my head. ‘He only has my number, so I can’t reach out to him and I don’t think that this is the moment to slide into his DM’s.’

They seem to agree. ‘Do you like him?’ Faith asks.

You girls have no fucking idea. ‘I do,’ I whisper. ‘It was nice to talk to someone. To not be alone.’ I close my eyes and think about what Chris says. There will be other band members, but I think he is wrong. There will not be others like them.

Despite the disbandment, despite all the underlying issues we had, we are a team, like Faith said and we always will be one. They are here to support me and that says something about how much we care about each other right?

‘I’m so sorry.’

‘What for, Luna?’ Faith asks. She was the oldest of the group and basically our mom. Making sure that we had our passports with us, that we had slept well, that we’ve eaten. We had long talks on the balcony of our dorm room during our X-Factor days. She may not understood my situation, my history with the foster care system and my inability to make friends, but she did listen and did care.

‘For not being a team player.’

For a second I can forget about the pictures, because I can’t talk about that and about my bond with Chris Evans, when there are so many unspoken sorrows and apologies between us.

Rosie shakes her head. ‘No, you don’t have to be. It was unfair of us to blame it all on you. We should’ve spoken to you and took the time to understand you. Not simply start pointing fingers at you, while we were all to blame.’

While we were all to blame? I don’t understand. ‘What?’

Pixie sighs and folds her hands on the table. ‘We were wrong all along, Luna,’ she says. ‘When we broke the news to you that you weren’t a team player, we just looked at what we experienced. We never once looked at the situation from your perspective. Because we, the ultimate mean girls, had forced you out, we met up. First to gossip about you, bad mouthing you, but eventually Faith had the brilliant idea to go to group therapy.’

Faith shrugs. ‘It felt wrong, to bad mouth about you. It couldn’t be just you. And after a few sessions, we realized that what happened to you growing up… It became a normal for you. We understood your need to prove yourself, that you were good enough and even better.’

‘But when I did that,’ I say, ‘I pushed you guys down so hard.’

Daliah nods. ‘We know, but we also understand. Besides, it was obvious during our X-Factor that you were the best. I never really understood why they put you in a group.’

Rosie shakes her head. ‘That was unbelievable. You had the stamina and the stage presence and the talent to become a soloist. You have it all, Luna.’

‘You can sing, you can dance, you write and you can rap. All that on top of being the most beautiful woman on this earth,’ Pixie adds.

‘So… You guys are not mad at me?’

Faith holds my hand on the table. ‘No, of course not. We were wrong too. We were not acting mature and for that I’m sorry.’

‘Me too,’ the other girls say in unison.

‘We should’ve taken the time to realize how much you did for us,’ Pixie says with a smile. ‘We watched those compilations where it was shown how much you do for us, in a different way. You took care of us like a true friend.’

‘I mean, you wrote that diss track when that thing Justin and I had got leaked. You ruined his career, Luna,’ Rosie chuckles.

‘Though we might not be a group anymore,’ Daliah says, ‘we will always care about you and we might not perform anymore, we will always be Brave Elegance.’

I let out a shaky sigh. Is this truly happening? Do I have my friends back? ‘I’m truly sorry,’ I say. ‘I should’ve done something with my desperate need to prove myself.’

Faith shakes her head. ‘No, not really. We should’ve done something. As a team.’

‘We’re all good again?’ I ask, just in case.

Daliah nods. ‘Of course we are, silly. We are Brave Elegance and we will always be.’

‘You have no idea how much that means to me,’ I whisper. ‘Thank you for having my back.’

Faith pats my hand. ‘Okay, this a beautiful moment, obviously, but we have business to do.’

‘Right,’ Pixie says. ‘We have to wait for Chris to call you, since he is probably on a plane and you don’t have his number. So, I think that we should call your new manager, explain to her what happened and she can contact Chris’ agent or manager or whoever.’

‘I don’t want to call my manager,’ I mumble.

Faith chuckles. ‘Of course you don’t. I have an idea. I call your manager, so she can think about a nice statement, possibly together with his manager. While I do that, Pixie, Rosie and Daliah will get the snacks ready, we’ll catch up, try to forget this situation, until Chris Evans calls.’

‘Aren’t we going to talk about how sex is with Chris Evans?’ Pixie asks. ‘Because sure as hell I want to know about that.’

‘Get the snacks ready,’ Daliah says. ‘Talking about sex is always easier with sex.’

I watch my former band members spread out over my apartment. Faith is calling with Gia, while the rest is indeed getting the snacks ready.

I scroll through my phone, desperately searching for the responses to the multiple articles that have been written. I know it’s going to hurt my feelings, but I’m self destructive like that. I need to read it.

But it’s all what I expected it to be. I’m the whore, Chris deserves better and I’m ruining his career. Someone even mentioned that it’s probably because I didn’t have a nice and stable upbringing and that I have severe daddy issues.

‘Okay, don’t read that,’ Rosie says, placing my phone on the table. ‘That’s not good for you.’

When Faith is back with us, she quickly tells us that Gia is working something out, trying to get ahold of Chris’ agent right away.

Like nothing happened, we start talking like the good times. I can’t seem to talk about Chris yet, so the rest of the girls talk about their lives. I find out that Faith is going to be starring in a movie soon, playing the older sister of the main character, but she can’t tell too much about it yet. I can see her as an actress.

Rosie is back in college, studying criminology. Pixie is dating a wonderful girl, while she is working as a talent agent for a different record company. Daliah and Michael are still together and she is actually trying to start a family.

I bet she will be a fantastic mom.

’So how about you and Chris?” Faith asks. ‘Was it just sex or…?

I shake my head. ‘It wasn’t just sex,’ I whisper. ‘It was a nice extra, of course, but I felt so loved. He cared about me, wanted to know how I was feeling. I just fear that that will be out of the window, after this.’

My phone starts to ring, causing me to yelp. It’s a number that I don’t know. I’m afraid, scared. What if it’s someone who wants to harass me? It wouldn’t be the first time.

‘Pick up,’ Daliah urges.

I take a deep breath, before I pick up the phone and answer the phone with a shaky ‘Hello?’ after I bring the phone to my ear.

‘Hi, sweetheart.’

My heart nearly drops to my feet. Hearing his warm voice, it’s just enough for my emotions to be pushed over the edge. The entire time I held my head high. I got the girls over, I barely cried about it.

However hearing him…

A sniffle leaves my lips and I bury my face in my hand.

‘Oh, no, no, no,’ Chris says. ‘Please, Luna, don’t cry.’

‘That’s fucking easy for you to say,’ I snap. ‘I’m the whore here, you’re the poor actor who I seduced and dragged with me.’

‘Easy,’ Daliah says, though she doesn’t know what he says. .

Chris doesn’t say anything and that makes me feel even more guilty. ‘I’m sorry,’ I whisper. ‘You can’t help it either. I’m really sorry. You are just trying to be nice.’

‘I understand,’ he tells me.

‘Where are you?’ I ask him, as I hear a lot of people in the background.

‘Just landed at LAX,’ he says. ‘My agent called me. He told me about the pictures and that your manager had called him, about making a statement. I just needed to hear your voice and needed to know whether or not you are alright.’

‘As you can tell, I’m doing fucking fantastic.’

‘You can be honest with me,’ he simply says, after a long and deep sigh.

I shake my head. ‘I don’t know what to do anymore.’

He stays silent for a moment and I’m afraid of his reaction. He is going to say that this is my own fault. That I’m to blame. ‘You know,’ he says, ‘I’m coming to New York. I can’t stand the thought of you going through this by yourself, when we should go through this together.’

Excuse me? ‘Chris, no,’ I say, ‘you can’t be serious. You can’t come to New York.’

‘I’m dead serious,’ he says.

Faith takes the phone from me, puts it on speaker and says: ‘Hi Chris, this is Faith.’

‘Oh.’He seems confused. ‘Faith as in Brave Elegance Faith?’

‘The one and only. I’m here with the rest of the girls and I know that Luna really wants you here. I think that that would make it a whole lot easier for us to talk about this.’

‘Well, I’m already looking around to see if I can book the earliest flight back to New York.’

I take the phone from Faith’s hands and say: ‘But Chris, what about your movie? You told me that it was important.’

‘I don’t care about that. You are more important right now.’

For a few seconds I don’t know what to say. I’m more important right now? I look to the girls, who nearly turn into a puddle. ‘I can’t ask this from you.’

‘Good thing you didn’t then. See you in a bit, sweetheart.’

Taglist: @diegos-butt​ // @henrythickcavill​

[yournewapartment]

URGENT!! How do you airport? I’ve traveled before but this is the first time I’m flying home alone as an adult and it’s LAX which feels like airport hell

How to Airport

Some General Tips

Make a Travel Timeline beforehand. Sit down a week or two beforehand and figure out how long everything will take you. Plan how early you’ll need to arrive at the airport, how long it will take you to get through airport security, etc. I always get to the airport way in advance, because check in lines can sometimes before LONG! I recommend arriving at the airport 2-3 hours in advance, depending on the type of flight.

Try to avoid the pitfalls of purchasing things at the airport. I know all those smart travel acessories look tempting, but airports sometimes charge three times an item’s regular price. Avoid the $16 sandwich! If you’re flying domestic, you can bring food and drink with you, as long as it’s unopened and packaged clearly. If you have to purchase food/drink, shop around for the cheapest price to make something worthwhile.

Utilize free airport resources! Charge your phone and laptop, explore any shops or displays to pass time, and if the airport has free wifi, get on it! Not all airports in America do, and those that do often have shitty wifi. But I’ve had good luck in Europe connecting to free wifi. As a rule- American airports SUCK compared to airports in other countries. Take some time to explore if you are traveling abroad.

If you have a layover, plan your time wisely. Do NOT plan a layover that is less than an hour and a half. Airplanes are notorious for running behind schedule, and missing a flight is stressful. If you have an international layover, you WILL have to go through customs in the country you have a layover in, so plan accordingly. Most airlines will not allow passengers to book layovers that are too short. If you are waiting in line when your plane is about to depart, airline personnel will try to find you and get you on the plane. Try is the key word here.

If you DO miss your flight for whatever reason that is the airline’s fault, the airline responsible will book you on the next available flight or will put you up in a nearby hotel. If you have a short layover, call the airline ahead of time and find out when the next flight is as a precaution.

If you’re confused about something, ask airport personel who work for the airline you’re flying on. Policies differ from airport to airport and REALLY differ in other countries. (An example- in America, plane gates are announced way beforehand. In Europe they’re not? I don’t understand how airports can just not know what gate planes will be arriving at until fifteen minutes before boarding? I feel like it’s lies??) Don’t get bogged down asking random workers for help. Go straight to the source if at all possible.

Getting On That Plane

The first step to your airport travel is to “check in”. Most airports have “check in” kiosks that you can use for self-service if you feel confident. Otherwise, check in with personnel who work for your airline. This is where you drop off any luggage that is not a carry-on. You will also get your plane ticket here (they’ll call it your boarding pass) which includes all of your flight information like your gate and departure time. Unless you are traveling in EUROPE!

After that, you will go through airport security. You’ll present personnel with your ID (driver’s license, passport, etc) as well as your boarding pass. They will sometimes ask you to verify your DOB or ask where you’re flying to and why.

After that, you and any carry on luggage you might have, will go through a thurough security point. Follow instructions from airport personnel. You WILL have to go through a full body scanner. This step is stressful because you’ll likely be waiting in line for a while and will be unceremoniously hurried along by airport personnel. But they explain all of the steps to going through security for you, and you can ask questions if you are confused.

After you’re through security, you’ll be in the main part of the airport. Usually some sort of food court and shopping area. Food stalls, vending machines, stores, and bathrooms will be placed sporadically around the airport. There will be a larger variety of food available when you first walk out of airport security. Less food will be available closer to your gate.

Follow signs to your gate and get settled! Sometimes it’s a hike. JFK in New York airport has INSANE distances from the main area to your gate

When your plane is about to board, flight attendants will make many announcements over the airport loudspeaker. Boarding is usually done in stages, passengers who paid for priority seating or who need assistance boarding will go first.

In America, you walk out of the aiport and directly onto the plane. I can’t speak for boarding at every airport, because it varies. But be wary those of you traveling through Portugal! For some unknown reason, they take you from your gate, pack you onto a bus, and then drive you to your plane. Your bus ride may be two minutes, it may be twenty! You then wait on the bus for anywhere from five minutes to ten minutes to be let off. It is TERRIBLE!

Board the plane! And off you go. There have been many posts made about traveling on planes. This is my favorite one by @howtogrowthefuckup

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[rizahawkais]

I LOVED season 1 and 2 of the crown but found season 3 quite dull and difficult to get through. I'm enjoying season 4 (still havent finished bc I watch with my family and we're rarely all together) but I think that the earlier seasons were a lot better in my opinion

hi! i completely agree w you!

I AM SO SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY! I replied to this the day you sent it but my laptop crashed and I lost everything I wrote so I put off till now!

All in all, the writing for the first two seasons were WAY better. My ranking is s2 > s1 > s4 >>>>> s3. In my opinion, season three was kind of terrible.

hahaha this is so so long.

In the first two seasons each episode’s mini story for the day was actually INTERESTING. Like, I loved where one episode was about the Mountbatten name and then the next was about the Great Smog! But, there was always an overarching plot and it always added up in the end. S1, S2 and S4 all had an overarching plot that worked! S1 was balancing family and the crown. S2 was balancing prime ministers and her husband. S4 was the downfall of Margaret Thatcher and Charles/Diana. S3 LITERALLY HAD NO PLOT! It was just a bunch of stories put together. The finale for season 3 was about the end of Margaret’s marriage! And although, it is an important event in the family’s history the fact that it was the finale episode????

Anyways, Season 3 genuinely just sucks. Season 4 is REALLY good. Yet, it still doesn’t leave as much of an affect on me like the earlier seasons. AND LIKE I KNOW BECAUSE I’VE REWATCHED THE FIRST THREE SEASONS SO MANY TIMES. I’ve only seen the fourth once because I’m too busy and it’s also too early for me to rewatch it. So, maybe my opinion of season 4 will change!

Now, because I am extra 😈😈 and crazy I will talk about every single episode IN ORDER. hehehehehehe. feel free to hate me

SEASON ONE

101 Wolferton Splash - 10/10 this episodes just sets everything up! we see how happy the marriage is and how loving king george is and we also see the FORSHADOWING!! we see lilibet and phillip making their life thinking they had time when we know they don’t and it’s just :( AN AMAZING PILOT EPISODE WITH AMAZING QUOTES!

102 Hyde Park Corner - 1000/10 this episode needs no explanation. the suspense and DRAMA right before lilibet finds out about her dad ALWAYS gets me!!

103 Windsor - 10/10 I hated this episode the first time I watched it! I didn’t understand the importance of her uncle and I didn’t understand the complexity behind the episode. I was 14 when I saw this episode for the first time! So, mind you I was quite ignorant. but, david basically represents the audience in the show for those who hate the monarchy and call them out on their hypocrisy. BUT DAVID IS A TERRIBLE PERSON! FUCK DAVID! i understand hating the monarchy and for him i know it was personal but the way he talks about his family in the letters UGHUGHGUHGUHGUHGUH this man is evil! there’s also the other story in the episode about the mountbatten name which is so brilliant!

104 Act of God - 15/10 this episode was boring on first watch but I WAS FOURTEEN! this episode took a break from the monarchy and concentrated on a british national horrific event THAT WAS IMPORTANT and i liked how it connected throughout the episode and all that and the CINEMATOGRAPHY OMGGGGG! anyways, something that pisses me off about this episode is that the crown kind of has the same kind of audience as euphoria! they only care about a hot actor or iconic character or the aesthetics AND THAT MAKES ME ANGRY! bc those are the ppl who call this episode the boring fog episode and the latest episode of euphoria a waste of time! they don’t understand the importance of what their watching. an event that killed hundreds by something that could have been avoided bc of science and for euphoria an ongoing pandemic of an ugly world and its affect on ppl not wanting to go on! IM SORRY THIS TURNED INTO A RANT but this episode is important in reminding audiences that disasters can be avoided but also once they happen anything can happen THIS WAS A SAD EPISODE OKAY AND I LOVED VENETIA SCOTT!

105 Smoke and Mirrors - 100/10 THE CORONATION EPISODE! Phillip tries to bring it to the common public and all the fighting between them just makes the coronation even more impactful when we watch it!

106 Gelignite - 8/10 I DESPISED MARGARET IN THE FIRST SEASON i saw her as a spoiled brat who wanted to marry her dad’s assistant! AND ALSO HOW DID SHE NOT REALIZE THERE WAS DEFINITE GROOMING INVOLVED! this episode is generally very good but margaret just pisses me off a lot! however, her not being able to marry peter boresend shouldn’t have been because of his divorcee status but bc he simply was a predator in anyone’s clear eyes IM SORRY IF YOU DISAGREE BUT SHE MET HIM SO YOUNG NO WAY THERE WAS NO GROOMING good episode but pissed off at margaret’s lack of critical thinking besides but I WANT HIMMMMM LIKE I WANT EVERYTHING

107 Scientia Potentia Est - 11/10 hated this when i first watched it! but now one of my favorites! lilibet feels dumb and needs a tutor! prime minister and wannabe prime minister have health problems and keep it from her! lilibet finds out by accident and they all get yelled at! I LOVE WHEN SHE YELLS AT MEN!

108 Pride & Joy - 10/10 this episode is just adds on to the overarching plot of the season: balancing the crown and family. margaret says disrespectful things to ppl who don’t deserve it in place of lilibet while she’s on the commonwealth tour fighting with her husband! then lilibet scorns margaret and we see an ugly papa loved me more argument! absolutely brilliant!

109 Assassins - 1000/10 hated it the first time but now I LOVE THIS EPISODE! it’s the painting and porchey episode and churchill leaving episode. It’s so so so good! i honestly have no words to describe the brilliance of this episode besides the acting done by almost the entire main cast CLAIRE WOW! MATT WOW! STEPHEN (THE PAINTER) WOW! JOHN WOW! HARRIET WOW! when we see the painting getting burned coincided w the downing st dinner GETS ME EVERYTIME I LOVE IT SO SO MUCH!

110 Gloriana - 100/10 the climactic fight between the crown and family! which will lilibet choose?? and the foreshadowing to suez MWAH!

SEASON TWO

201 Misadventure - 100/10 LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS EPISODE the cutesy lilibet and phillip until it all goes down WOW! and the suez stuff i love it all

202 A Company of Men - 100/10 this is where i think mike’s wife starts snooping or it’s the next episode BUT THIS IS WHERE SOMETHING BEGINS FOR SURE first of all it foreshadows the episode later in the season about philip’s childhood AND MATT’S ACTING!! it’s too good for words!

203 Lisbon - 100/10 i like it when they fight lol that’s the only way i know how to describe why i love it LILIBET WAS EXCITED TO SEE HIM AND SO WAS HE but then mike ruined it by being a disgraceful and dishonest man RUINING EVERYTHING

204 Beryl - 10/10 i start to like margaret bc i feel bad for her! she’s suffering she’s sad that her lil predator boyfriend is no longer w her but look who it is MATTHEW GOODE! he not suspicious at all but the writers are like here take 20 minutes of perfect chemistry between the actors!

205 Marionettes - 100/10 I LOVE THIS EPISODE basically someone who loves the monarchy insults the monarchy and lilibet actually goes to listen to them! w resistance of course but she still took everything he said to fix the monarchy !

206 Vergangenheit - 1000/10 one of my favorites! i didn’t know about david’s nazi past so when i watched this episode for the first time i was completely baffled! another episode where she yells at a man!!!! i’m always annoyed in this episode tho by all the talk from the priest about forgiveness bc im like why would u want to forgive david for being a nazi?? but i think it was intentional by the writers to show the importance of understanding forgiveness and the grounds for it! THIS EPISODE IS JUST PERFECT IM ANNOYED BC I DON’T WANT TO FORGIVE HIM

207 Matrimonium - 9/10 this episode is amazing BEFORE you’ve seen season three bc you root for margaret and tony! but, also throughout the episode there’s all that tony and family and his gf and bf stuff that you think is going to lead somewhere but doesn’t??? like what was the point of introducing his mother and his relationships if it was going nowhere and not even mentioned in season 3??? LIKE WHAT WAS THE POINT WHAT WAS THE REASON? but, also there’s lilibet and phillip fluff in this episode I LOVE

208 Dear Mrs. Kennedy - 10/10 this episode is fun as an american bc i think jackie kennedy and jfk are so idolized here in america it was so interesting to see this other pov! BUT I ALSO REALLY LOVED LILIBET DANCING W NKRUMAH! I THOUGHT IT WAS SO CUTE AND THE MARTIN CHARTERIS STUFF LEADING UP TO IT WAS SO FUNNY!

209 Paterfamilias - 100000/10 no words. IT WAS SO SMART TO PARALLEL PHILIP AND CHARLES this has a lower rating than the previous episode which makes no sense but only goes to prove the idolization of jackie and jfk

210 Mystery Man - 100/10 EVERYTHING FROM THE FIRST EPISODE IS ADDRESSED IN THIS EPISODE THE SEASON COMES FULL CIRCLE JUST LIKE SEASON ONE DID AND SEASON THREE DID NOT DO THAT AND SEASON FOUR DID IT TOO BUT NO WHERE AS GREATLY

every single episode of seasons two has a 9+ rating from me!

SEASON THREE (worst season)

301 Olding - 5/10 weak starter but good for introducing olivia as lilibet and harold wilson and departing churchill BUT THAT’S IT! like the whole spy thing just went bleh LIKE IT HAD POTENTIAL but it needed early seasons writing not third season writing techniques TOBIAS DID A GREAT JOB THO IN THIS EPISODE HE WAS A GREAT RECAST FOR PHILIP

302 Margaretology - 6/10 okay. just okay. margaret kind of bratty but you actually feel bad for her then she gets bratty again and then you feel bad for her again and the scenarios in the episode just didn’t feel real like the whole lyndon b johnson was so jealous of jfk that he was rude to the queen so they sent margaret JUST DIDN’T MAKE SENSE like i know this show is fictional but the fiction tends to be believable until i research the episode afterwards BUT FOR THIS it just didn’t make sense

303 Aberfan - 1000/10 ONE OF THE GOOD EPISODES OF THE SEASON! those first fifteenish minutes??? TEARS! i never knew about aberfan until this episode and seeing this episode made me cry!

304 Bubbikins - 10000/10 THIS EPISODE IS TECHNICALLY NOT AS GOOD AS THE ABERFAN EPISODE BUT THIS IS A PERSONAL PREFERENCE we meet anne and alice in this episode AND I LOVE BOTH OF THEM (erinsdoherty is my current url!) this episode is so sad and sweet at the same time and loving bc i’m a sucker for philip’s back story!

305 Coup - 8/10 this had potential I FEEL LIKE IF THEY WROTE THIS EPISODE DIFFERENTLY LIKE HOW THEY WROTE ONE OF THE SUEZ EPISODE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH BETTER the fact that it all went to nothing and nothing basically happened WHAT WAS THE POINT

306 Tywysog Cymru - 1000/10 this episode made me like charles! what a horrendous statement! but, like i thought his relationship w his tutor was so heartwarming and he actually seemed to care and all that and it just all in all MADE ME HAPPY like this episode isn’t sad it’s a happy episode until the last scene w lilibet BUT YEA they gave us this one good episode until we hate him which i appreciate makes the story telling better

307 Moondust - -100/10 hate this episode LIKE GENUINELY HATE IT HATE HATE HATE and tbh im generally very very nice w my opinions ANYWAYS I WAS SO EXCITED FOR THIS EPISODE BUT IT WAS SO STUPID LIKE THE ASTRONAUTS BEING ASSHOLES WAS STUPID PHILIP BEING AN ASSHOLE TO THE PRIESTS WAS STUPID LIKE PHILIP IS AN ASSHOLE BUT IT’S BEHIND PEOPLE’S BACKS AND THEN THEY KILLED ALICE OFF SCREEN I HATE THIS EPISODE

308 Dangling Man - -1000/10 HATE THIS ONE TOO this episode convinced me that the writers for the first two seasons to this season has changed all of a sudden we forget that david was basically a nazi and the charles we met two episodes ago sees him as exactly like this uncle who he swore he would be nothing like to the people of wales??? LIKE WHO WROTE THIS THEY WERE DOING CRACK WHILE WRITING THIS EPISODE and i felt NOTHING during the lilibet and david goodbye WHACK EPISODE TERRIBLE JUST BAD TERRIBLE

309 Imbroglio - 5/10 episode started off good but then just went a lil too crazy by making it seem like a whole secret spy mission going behind lilibet’s back

310 Cri de Cour - 4/10 bad just bad HBC GOOD ACTRESS AMAZING ACTRESS given bad material like NONE OF THIS FEELS CONNECTED THIS STORY IS ALL RANDOM AND WE HAD A WHOLE EPISODE ABOUT MARGARET AND TONY AND WE DON’T EVEN MENTION ANY OF THE CRAZY STUFF FROM THE LAST SEASON BUT WE CONCENTRATE ON MARGARET BEING A SUGAR MAMA MAKES SENSE YALL

once again i hate season three

SEASON FOUR

401 Gold Stick- 8/10 written weirdly but had GOOD SCENES such as meeting thatcher and diana! BUT THE SCENE STEALER WAS OBVIOUSLY MOUNTBATTEN’S DEATH AND PHILIP TELLING CHARLES THAT HE BECAME DICKIE’S SON INSTEAD OF HIM SAD STUFF so like the death was sad and dramatic and I FELT BAD but like i shouldn’t bc im south asian and mountbatten did bad stuff to us BUT IT DOESN’T CHANGE THE RIPPLE WE FELT

402 The Balmoral Test - 9/10 funny episode but needed early seasons’ writing

403 Fairytale - 9/10 good episode but needed early seasons’ writing BUT ALSO THAT SCENE BETWEEN CAMILA AND DIANA MWAH CHEF’S KISS THEY BOTH DESERVE ALL THE AWARDS but needed early seasons’ writing

404 Favourites - 7/10 this episode is good but frustrating bc u finally realize how terrible of a mother lilibet is BUT THE ANDREW STUFF WAS GOOD I AM GLAD THEY PUT THAT IN! i liked seeing thatcher’s non-existent relationship w her daughter NEEDED EARLY SEASONS’ WRITING

405 Fagan - 10/10 GOOD EPISODE I LIKE HOW WE WERE EMERSED IN FAGAN’S LIFE AND I LOVE THE ACTOR FOR FAGAN TOO AND I LIKE HOW IT WAS CONNECTED TO THATCHER AND FUELED THE OVERARCHING PLOT OF THE STORY!

406 Terra Nullius - 100/10 GOOD EPISODE CLOSEST TO EARLY SEASONS WRITING THAT’S WHAT MADE IT GOOD seeing them not get along and then get along and then not get along again through a series of montages made the episode brilliant!

407 The Hereditary Principle - 6/10 this episode. how do i explain? the material for this episode was absolutely perfect for the writers of the early seasons! POOR EXECUTION

408 48:1 - 100/10 i like the political episodes more than the family episodes SO THIS EPISODE IS SO BRILLIANT BC OF THE BACK AND FORTH AND I GOT TO SEE CLAIRE!!

409 Avalanche - 7/10 early season writers would have shown the arguing before the avalanche and diana’s reaction JUST SAYING

410 War - 9/10 THIS EPISODE HAD THE YELLING AT EACH OTHER SCENE THAT WAS SO GOOD BUT ANYWAYS THE PROBLEM W THIS EPISODE WAS THAT IT DRAGGED I FEEL LIKE THIS EPISODE AND THE ONE BEFORE SHOULD HAVE BEEN ONE EPISODE TOGETHER

ALAS, what i would like to say is that i feel that season 4 shouldn’t have been so diana centric! it was diana from the beginning of the season to the end! not, that i don’t love the whole diana story but it was dragged and i think she should have been introduced around the third/fourth episode of this season the same way tony was in season two! camilla should have arrived at the beginning of season 4 so that the intensity between camilla, charles and diana was more believable! if we season three wasn’t so spread out they could have had more brilliant episode.

OK HAHA I AM SO SORRY FOR THIS VERY LONG RANT ABOUT THE CROWN PLZ FORGIVE ME! AND IF U READ ALL THIS WOW! IDK WHAT TO SAY I THINK I TALK TOO MUCH HONESTLY :( anyways thank you for talking to me :)

[johnnyutah]

why don't u like umbrella academy

i dont think that anyone who liked the show is gonna agree with me so this is going under a readmore but... here are my thoughts. this is nothing that hasn’t been said before by smart critics but whatever 🙈

the incest & antisemitism & other terrible elements made it really hard to watch. the writing and direction are really terrible. i dont think they put any actual thought into most of the show’s writing decisions and they get praised for things that they didn’t actually accomplish. every time someone’s like “oh my god i cried during this [hargreeves sibling] and [hargreeves sibling] scene” i truly struggle to understand it because they’re always talking about a scene that like.. COULD be good removed from context, but is so thoroughly not earned in the show. they sidelined ben and then included a really really bad plotline for him in season 2 and also made him unlikable. fives entire job is so antisemitic i cannot think about the commission without going into hives. also why is he just named number five????!?!?!?! why does allison randomly turn on vanya halfway through the first season??????? why did they make me watch so many hate crimes??????? why does diego wanna fuck us prez jfk SOOO badly? why is klaus a homophobic stereotype who portrays drug addicts in the worst way possible... and why did tumblr lap it up??? because robert sheehan is hot and talented??? its not worth it, not even ellen page is worth it. every time i hear someone talk about how good the writing is i think about how klaus and dave were built up as this powerful gay ship, when in actuality it’s just another example of bury your gays and it isn’t even compelling and we only got two minutes of screentime for them in season one? and then in season two the klaus and dave development came in the form of dave being closeted and klaus suffering a hate crime in front of him?? speaking of hate crimes i literally cant BELIEVE they released season 2 uncritically they were really like “we have to take down every episode of tv that has anti-black racism or blackface. anyway here’s season 2 of the umbrella academy which features extended graphic police brutality scenes and manages to blame police violence on the inaction of one of their characters who is a black woman”. the only good part of the umbrella academy is like... if you recut all the vanya season 2 scenes where her siblings aren’t present, you could maybe put a show together that is bearable. which really just confirms the idea that this show doesn’t EARN anything it does! everyone went apeshit for the istanbul scene & ‘i think we’re alone now’ & the fleeting gay representation but none of that is backed up by any WRITING. the show isn’t WRITTEN!!!! and as much as i hated the weird god dad shit from season 1, the weird villains in season 2 were so completely uncompelling that i have now blocked them out :-) the writers constantly have the characters turn on each other for no reason and yet we’re supposed to believe that diego and luther and klaus and allison and vanya and five and ben all GREW UP TOGETHER and LOVE EACH OTHER?

[popculturebuffet]

Close Enough: So Long Boys And Clap Like This

ON this hour’s episodes: Josh decides to have a vasectomy after a pregnancy scare and soons end up dealing with second thoughts and bostonian robots while Alex regrets getting his after meeting what are maybe his children. Then Josh finally sells a game but it falls through and takes up extra jobs to avoid telling his family while Bridgette is forced to get a real job on her birthday and Alex enjoys inudstrial humis. Clap Like This under the cut. 

So Long Boys

Aka the greatest vacesctomy based comedy episode since Brooklyn Nine Nine’s “Choclate Milk”. If you don’t know the show or don’t remember that episode if you are a fellow 99er it’s the one where Jake thinks his superior officer and friend Terry getting a vasectomy means chopping his penis off. I mean it starts off just assuming he’s making a joke but it becomes blurry if he’s just making quips or genuinely thinks that’s how it works. It’s also easy to compare these two because they both, while vastly diffrent and great episodes in their own rights: have a simlilar beat to the plot: a character trying to get a vasectomy for responsible reasons but being unsure they don’t wnat more kids. It’s just Brooklyn Nine Nine is more also about Jake being hurt Terry dosen’t think of him as a friend, a position he reverses while Close Enough has indentured pop and lock teenagers, a dark ride dedicated to scaring people out of kids and bostionan robots that sound like JFK from Clone HIgh. How does any of this fit together, let’s take a look. 

So we open with Josh and Emily having a huge pregnancy scare, which was caused by the birthday sex from the pitch trailer aka Josh trying to pass it off as “we’re just doing our taxes sweetie!”. In other words the main bit I wanted to see transfered to the show proper. And while there’s a few joke this scene is mostly played for drama.. it’s not out of tone with the rest of the show. What really has made this show work for me is it combines regular show antics, but with the added maturity of having an older cast dealing with growing up. A bunch of 30 somethings to start instead of a bunch of 20 somethings so instead of dealing with stuff like video game competitionts, guys nights, and dating woes, it’s more dealing with juggling family and friends, having a job you hate and trying to ballance your career with your passion.  And here is no diffrent: Josh and Emily HAVE no money, live in a cramped apartment with their best friends and a newly divorced couple which as we’ve seen isn’t always easy, and work jobs htey utterly hate and would have to double down on, snuffing out their real dreams, in order to support this kid. Josh outright says he’ll get a second job and give up his video game development which wihle it’d probably be miserable for him would be a sad neciscity. I myself do this blog on the side while trying desperatley to get an actual paying job, it sucks and their situation is compounded by having a kid on top of it who needs their support and attention. It’s stressful enough without adding a second child. Thankfully it’s a false alarm.  However Josh, in a show of responsibility decided to do something about it and get a vasectomy. Still being josh though, his getting one also involves a massive and hilarious vasectomy party, where a bunch of people we never met, and alex and bridgette obviously play party games involving pinning sisssors on testies and theires even a breakdancing sperm. Emily and Pearle’s reactions are gold to this: Emily, before the opening, tells Josh he’s not allowed to plan parties anymore, understandable while Pearle genuinely didn’t belivie they were dumb enough to have a vasectomy party and gives out an understandable “Damn you white people” when she’s proven wrong. Alex also gets set up for his subplot in the episode mentioning he got his a year ago, which given his and Bridgette’s relationship was probably falling apart around then was a good call. I do however like this: Something big happend and Josh is taking responsibility for it, while still being josh about it, but it shows how unlike a lot of idiot heroes in adult cartoons,he’s still a genuinely nice guy who tries to do what’s right, and has more than one brain cell. he has two thank you. So Alex drives josh to get a vasectomy, while Randy presumibly watches Candace as we only see her at the start (Peale was watching her during hte party to help keep her in the dark for now) and finish of the episode. Meanwhile Emily, Bridgette and Pearle have a small B plot having brunch mamosas and boxing up candace’s baby stuff. We also find out for 100% sure our heroines nationatlities: Bridgette is japanese while Emily is Mexican. Mostly because Bridgette always saw Emily with a bigger family and only half for racist reasons that get her handcuffed to a pipe by a drunken Pearle. This show really needs more of Pearle asa every time she shows up she’s a fucking delight and if the show hopefully returns for season 2 I could easily see her getting more screentime. Emily ends up in tears and realizing she may want more kids, which is.. resonable. Their only 32. While it’s resonable to want or have any amount of kids, except like 20 like that one tlc show... I never watched it but when the only two things you hear about a show you don’t watch is the weird, archacic dating setup they have that feels like it produces a good marriage as much as Charlie Sheen did, and that the mother won’t stop having kids despite it nearly killing her  multiple times and having you know 20, you kinda don’t want to watch it.  Anyway it’s resonable to want a family of any size you want, Emily realises she’s not sure she wants to stop at 1 just yet.  Meanwhile in the A-Plot Josh has come to the same conclusion after finding out that not only is this version of a vasectomy he’s getting permentant, mostly due to ball scorching done by robots, but after a hilarious but deeplly insulting carnival ride in the clinic that’s supposed to Scare josh out of having kids and features two teenagers fighting and pop and locking, a goblin and a wall just saying why why why why, impilng kids ruin your sleep, your romantic lives and are terrible. Josh however understandably takes offense to this, and seeing a brother and sister.. only make him not want to deprive candace of possibly having a sister oneday. Again while he and Emily are in no way in position for a second kid now.. they have time and Josh could easily sell a game at some point: he almost does in the next episode. ONe of Emily and Bridgette’s songs could go viral. Or Josh could end up finding a much better day job or Emily could get a promtion at hers. While not wanting to have a second child while they can’t support one is the right move, Josh realizes not wanting ot have one at all, at least in their spectfic case, was an overreaction to a scary situation.  Josh decides to think more, despite the doctor offring up some pubic scaping for extra, and he and Alex end up finding the Teens from the ride.. who are in fact real kids who look an AWFUL lot and act an awfl lot like alex and are basically indentured to the doctor,who treats them like crap and has them undder contract to pop and lock for him and look at his new pubic hair designs (”Those nights are the hardest”). Josh decides not to go through with it but the bostioan robots who do the procedure refuse to let that happen and leave Josh, Alex and the Twins on the run, while Alex himself reconsiders parenthood as he’s now proud of what he thinks are his kids. As the four are cornered it turns out the doctor is also a prisoner.. but an unsympathetic one since he can A) go home and B) is willingly collaberating with obnoxious robots to do a dangerous verison of a serious procedure to save his own ass and is karmically atomized. When Alex brings up his thinking the kids are his, they sadly explain he isn’t: Their dad’s a republican senator (Tot hteir shame the girl, who I almost forgot to mention is voiced by the wonder Kate MIccui, in her second role in a JG Quintel show. HOpefully if there’s a season 2 or the show stars having arcs they can find a full role for her on the show. ) and Alex finds his sperm he donated ended up in a dumpster.. but is determined to protect the kids anyway. Thankfully our heroes are able to escape with Emily, who sneaks ina fter the robots locked down the faicility’s help, with Josh bummed because he was proud for being responsible as the two discuss still wanting to have kids, with Emily pointing out .. this is STILL responsible. Not going through with something you have doubts about and having an honest talk with your partner is the responsbe thing> The five of them escape, and while Alex knows he’s not the teens father, offers to be there for them if they ever need it.  Wrapping things up at a skating rink, The Ramierz’ skate and Josh and Emily plan to do their taxes again later, though likely with a rubber this time, and Alex got his vasectomy reverse and is really weird about it to Bridgette’s annoyance. Also 20,000 years into the future subhuman cavemen versions of hismelf are the dominatne lifeform Neat. Overall this ep was really good, having great character stuff for Josh Emily and Alex, while still having some good bits for the rest of the main cast minus randy who I feel the show honestly forgets exists half the time, with drunk Pearle being a delight. But it’s the emotional core for both sides: Josh and Emily hastily deciding to not have more kids before wondering if they want to keep the option open while Alex realisses he might want to be a dad himself and his bond with waht he thinks are his kids and protectivness of them is really sweet. It’s also not lacking in great jokes; The entire rollercoaster of “DON’T HAVE KIDS” is just black comedy gold from start to finsih including the green goblin for some reaosn, the boston robots and vasectomy doctor are great vilians and overall the episode is just really good and really mature for an episode that also makes plenty of testicle scaping jokes. You can do both. 

Clap Like This

And continuing the trend from the last few episodes, we have the weaker one (though Golden Gamer was still pretty damn good), second this time around, though like Golden Gamer it’s still decent.  The plot is a bit simplier and starts with Josh FINALLY selling a game to two idiot tech billionares, Clap LIke This, a game about clapping along that actually seems really damn fun and I wish were real like Ladder World.  While Emily enjoys being able to spend money and her husband finally living his dream or so she thinks, Bridgette, who we find out has been on an allowance from her parents, is cut off on her birthday and has to get a job at a forever 23, one of the few times this show has used an offbrand and not nearlya s awesome a name as “Plugger Inners” it feels lazier if only because again, Plugger Inners exists. But as was revealed earlier, the two guys who bought it went broke and the deal feell through but josh, feeling terrrible about them not being able to afford the finer things anymore, hides it from his family and takes as many shifts as possible at plugger inners. He also runs into David Hasslehoff doing his best mitch von malibu as he just.. throws more money at josh to do what his son asks. Or nephew or whatever. I went back and redited this after finding out that really was him and supposed to be him. I’m also calling his annoying son Hobie for reasons that will be come clear if you’ve ever watched allison pregler’s baywatching series but it’s always fun to see the hoff in something. Especailly the time he made this really embarassing music video. 

But alass the 200 dollars Hoff made off “jump in my car”  that he gave josh isn’t enough and with him having taken all the insltation jobs josh is forced to turn to black market insltations including one where he installs a tv while jaws eats a guy.. I genuinely wish they’d used this song.

[jj-lynn21]

Joe Biden’s speech Nov 7, 2020

My fellow Americans, the people of this nation have spoken.They have delivered us a clear victory. A convincing victory. A victory for “We the People.”We have won with the most votes ever cast for a presidential ticket in the history of this nation -- 74 million.I am humbled by the trust and confidence you have placed in me.I pledge to be a President who seeks not to divide, but to unify. Who doesn’t see Red and Blue states, but a United States. And who will work with all my heart to win the confidence of the whole people.For that is what America is about: The people. And that is what our Administration will be about.I sought this office to restore the soul of America. To rebuild the backbone of the nation -- the middle class. To make America respected around the world again and to unite us here at home.It is the honor of my lifetime that so many millions of Americans have voted for this vision. And now the work of making this vision real is the task of our time.As I said many times before, I’m Jill’s husband. I would not be here without the love and tireless support of my wife, Jill, Hunter, Ashley, all of our grandchildren and their spouses, and all our family. They are my heart.Jill’s a mom -- a military mom -- and an educator. She has dedicated her life to education, but teaching isn’t just what she does -- it’s who she is. For America’s educators, this is a great day: You’re going to have one of your own in the White House, and Jill is going to make a great First Lady.And I will be honored to be serving with a fantastic vice president -- Kamala Harris -- who will make history as the first woman, first Black woman, first woman of South Asian descent, and first daughter of immigrants ever elected to national office in this country.It’s long overdue, and we’re reminded tonight of all those who fought so hard for so many years to make this happen. But once again, America has bent the arc of the moral universe towards justice.Kamala, Doug -- like it or not -- you’re family. You’ve become honorary Bidens.To all those who volunteered, worked the polls, local election officials -- you deserve a special thanks from this nation. To my campaign team, to all the volunteers, to all those who gave so much of themselves to make this moment possible, I thank you for everything. And to all those who supported us: I am proud of the campaign we built and ran. I am proud of the coalition we built, the broadest and most diverse in history.Democrats and Republicans and Independents. Progressives, moderates and conservatives. Young and old. Urban, suburban and rural. Gay, straight, transgender. White. Latino. Asian. Native American.And especially for those moments when this campaign was at its lowest -- the African American community.I said from the outset I wanted a campaign that represented America, and I think we did that.And to those who voted for President Trump, I understand your disappointment tonight. I’ve lost a couple of elections myself.But now, let’s give each other a chance. It’s time to put away the harsh rhetoric. To lower the temperature. To see each other again. To listen to each other again. To make progress, we must stop treating our opponents as our enemy. We are not enemies. We are Americans.The Bible tells us that to everything there is a season -- a time to build, a time to reap, a time to sow. And a time to heal.This is that time for America. A time to heal.Now that the campaign is over -- what is the people’s will? What is our mandate?I believe it is this: Americans have called on us to marshal the forces of decency and the forces of fairness. To marshal the forces of science and the forces of hope in the great battles of our time.The battle to control the virus. The battle to build prosperity. The battle to secure your family’s health care. The battle to achieve racial justice and root out systemic racism in this country. The battle to save the climate. The battle to restore decency, defend democracy, and give everybody in this country a fair shot.Our work begins with getting COVID under control.We cannot repair our economy, restore our vitality, or relish life’s most precious moments -- hugging a grandchild, birthdays, weddings, graduations, all the moments that matter most to us -- until we get this virus under control.On Monday, I will name a group of leading scientists and experts as Transition Advisors to help take the Biden-Harris COVID plan and convert it into an action blueprint that starts on January 20th, 2021.That plan will be built on a bedrock of science. It will be constructed out of compassion, empathy, and concern. I will spare no effort -- or commitment -- to turn this pandemic around.I ran as a proud Democrat. I will now be an American president. I will work as hard for those who didn’t vote for me -- as I will for those who did.Let this grim era of demonization in America begin to end -- here and now.The refusal of Democrats and Republicans to cooperate with one another is not due to some mysterious force beyond our control. It’s a decision. It’s a choice we make.And if we can decide not to cooperate, then we can decide to cooperate. And I believe that is part of the mandate from the American people. They want us to cooperate.That’s the choice I’ll make. And I call on the Congress -- Democrats and Republicans alike -- to make that choice with me.America’s story is about the slow, yet steady widening of opportunity. Make no mistake: Too many dreams have been deferred for too long. We must make the promise of the country real for everybody -- no matter their race, their identity, their ethnicity, their faith.America has always been shaped by inflection points -- by moments in time where we’ve made hard decisions about who we are and what we want to be.Lincoln in 1860 -- coming to save the Union. FDR in 1932 -- promising a beleaguered country a New Deal. JFK in 1960 -- pledging a New Frontier.And twelve years ago -- when Barack Obama made history -- and told us, “Yes, we can.”We stand again at an inflection point. We have the opportunity to defeat despair and to build a nation of prosperity and purpose. We can do it. I know we can.I’ve long talked about the battle for the soul of America. Now we must restore the soul of America.Our nation is shaped by the constant battle between our better angels and our darkest impulses. It is time for our better angels to prevail.Tonight, the whole world is watching. I believe at our best America is a beacon for the globe. And we lead not by the example of our power, but by the power of our example.I’ve always believed we can define America in one word: Possibilities.That in America everyone should be given the opportunity to go as far as their dreams and God-given ability will take them.You see, I believe in the possibility of this country. We’re always looking ahead. Ahead to an America that’s freer and more just. Ahead to an America that creates jobs with dignity and respect. Ahead to an America that cures disease -- like cancer and Alzheimers. Ahead to an America that never leaves anyone behind. Ahead to an America that never gives up.This is a great nation. And we are a good people. This is the United States of America. And there has never been anything we haven’t been able to do when we’ve done it together.In the last days of the campaign, I’ve been thinking about a hymn that means a lot to me and to my family. It captures the faith that sustains me and which I believe sustains America.And I hope it can provide some comfort and solace to the more than 230,000 families who have lost a loved one to this terrible virus this year. My heart goes out to each and every one of you.“And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,Bear you on the breath of dawn,Make you to shine like the sun,And hold you in the palm of His Hand.”And now, together -- on eagle’s wings -- we embark on the work that God and history have called upon us to do.With full hearts and steady hands, with faith in America and in each other, with a love of country -- and a thirst for justice -- let us be the nation that we know we can be.A nation united. A nation strengthened. A nation healed.God bless you. And may God protect our troops.

Joe Biden