#every one had their happy ending and all conveniently without ted

[deanncastiel]

okay y'all i'm settled on that ending all being a dream it's the only way

[sofoulandfairaday]

The ultimate How I Met Your Mother Finale rant

I know this has been done before, and I know I'm several years late to the party, but I don't care, so IN THIS ESSAY I WILL tell you about why this finale takes the spot as the second-worst finale in TV show history (because Game of Thrones is still, to this day, unbeatable, and it will probably stay like that forever). 

But first, a little context: I've just finished binge-watching HIMYM. This binge has been going on for three days straight (my final exam of the semester is in a week and I should be studying, so the fact that the last few days were a partial waste of time makes me so mad). Second thing: I already knew how it would end, and yes, kids, it does ruin the show for you. It ruins the show so much it makes your blood boil when you rewatch certain scenes, but I will get to that. 

You might want to make yourself a drink because this is a complete list of all the reasons why HIMYM's finale sucks - I'm warning you, it's gonna be looong.

It completely invalidates the entirety of season 9

This is one of the complaints people most often have with this series, and I have to agree. It would have been so much better if the last two episodes never existed, and they just showed Barney and Robin dancing at the reception after walking out of the chapel, Ted noticing Tracy and then the platform scene. "And that, kids, is the story of how I met your mother". Cut scene. Honestly, I don't get the hate people give to season 9, barring the last 2/3 episodes, especially since season 8 was so much worse (except for a few honourable mentions, like The Robin). S8 was slower, less funny, and less deep, and while the authors took a risk by making s9 happen in the span of a weekend it paid off: they took their time introducing the character of the Mother to the gang and fleshing her out. They make sure to highlight all the little ways in which Ted and Tracy are perfect for each other, and even tie up loose ends, like with the Slapsgiving episode, that was a filler but it wasn't boring to watch (although it may be problematic for different reasons, I'm not Chinese, so I can't say for sure if it's cultural appropriation or just the authors making fun of a particular movie genre). 

Some episodes were arguably great: "Daisy" was amazing, and that whole fight between Marshall and Lily was so realistic and well thought out, "Sunrise" was extremely important for Ted's character development, same goes for Tracy and "How Your Mother Met Me", "Bedtime stories" was impressive, "Rally" was incredibly funny and proved once again what a beautiful character Barney Stinson is, so much so that even Robin never has doubts that he (the guy with the biggest commitment issues on the planet) will bail on her before the wedding, and says to Ted that "he always comes back". Daphne's character is super funny and the right amount of annoying, the shenanigans of the gang are well thought out and all of the characters (not just Barney) complete their arc in this season. The last two/three episodes butcher that.

Marshall and Lily

Marshall and Lily, arguably the world's most solid couple, are the only thing this God-awful finale gets right, especially Marshall, who is my second-favourite character, that finally gets everything he deserves. But what about Lily? They never mention her career after Italy, and I refuse to believe she goes back to being a kindergarten teacher as if her year in Rome meant nothing. I also refuse to think she becomes nothing but a political wife, the equivalent of Zoey, but without saving the world. We know she has three kids, but her postpartum depression is never really talked about much and they definitely had the screentime to delve into it. 

Barney

 Where do I even begin? Barney Stinson is, without a doubt, the best character in this series, the glue of the whole gang. I think the message they were trying to give is that, since his trauma stemmed from the absence of a father figure in his life, he could only truly heal by becoming a father as well. People also say that n°31 had to stay just a number, because who could match up with Barney Stinson? First of all, I call BULSHIT on that last point, because Robin wasn't the only girl Barney could have ended up marrying. I used to think that too, but it's just not true: that is the equivalent of saying that Barney was incapable to truly love a woman and commit to her, even after all the development he got, and that he only got one shot at love in life, and that's it. This goes against the point the showrunners try to make by having Ted and Robin end up together AND by having Tracy get with Ted in the first place: "it's never too late, you always have another chance at love, etc." And, let's face it, Barney and Robin are legendary, but Barney and Nora (hell, even Barney and Quinn!) were pretty good together too. 

Second of all, if they wanted to give Barney a kid, they could have easily done that, before Barney married Robin. Barney's "redemption" starts when he gets with Robin the first time, hell maybe even when we meet James for the first time: Nora, Quinn, finding out who his father is, the episode dedicated to the lies his mum told him/finding James' father, him getting to know his own dad, etc... those are all steps along the way. The s9 episode where Barney accepts the relationship between Loretta and the reverend proves how far he's come. So why not give him a daughter BEFORE he proposes to Robin? Have him cheat on Nora/Quinn with n°31, giving him a relapse, and having him get closer to Robin while struggling to be a dad to Ellie. That would have been great. 

Or, you know, don't give him children. What's the point of burning the Playbook if you're going to have him write the second edition? What's the point of having him do a complete 180 in the last few scenes and acting like having a kid is the only thing that makes him change? What's the point of doing that when the show spends entire episodes berating Marshall and Lily for "changing too much" when they have a kid?

Also, Barney is the "challenge accepted" guy. He loves his wife so much, he spent years wanting her, and then he gives up because there is no WiFi in his hotel. How does that make any sense at all? This is Barney Stinson, the "I will fly out to San Francisco and buy Lily a plane ticket", the "I will steal every girl from my best friend just to save him for Lily", the guy that wrote the Playbook (it takes effort to pull those plays off), the guy that planned for weeks his proposal, the guy that waited years to get back at the man who stole his first girlfriend, the guy that makes every night legendary... are you telling me that that guy becomes the equivalent of a bored housewife instead of living his best life while travelling the world? Come on. They don't even try to make it believable.

Ted

While watching seasons 7 and 8, I felt that Ted was becoming the worst character on the show: he was boring, depressed, basically had no good storylines, the whole thing with Victoria was pointless and inconclusive (and the whole "stop being in love with Robin" was completely out of character for her), but whatever, we could have accepted that because it passed the message that two people could be good together, without being soulmates - which, by the way, renders the TedxRobin ship pointless, because they were right for each other, but Ted and Tracy were soulmates. Him being hung up on Robin in the latter seasons is almost pathetic, and the thing he does with the locket is insane, not romantic - BUT I will say this: it can be seen in two ways, depending on who's watching. I personally like the two as friends, so I see the whole thing as a "Dahmer" situation, but I get the people who see it as a "Dobler" one and see what he did as a grand romantic gesture. 

The problem, though, is that the whole TedxRobin ship gets pretty old, pretty fast: it's an annoying on-and-off thing, that should have ended with the locket. Because, yes, Ted was in a dark moment, yes, he was probably depressed, yes, he thought Robin was his only shot at happiness, but he changes during season nine! He spends entire episodes letting go of Robin, including the one where she transforms into a balloon and flies away. Ted is the good guy, ultimately. He is the guy that is genuinely happy for his best friends. In one of the deleted scenes from the finale, he meets Robin years later and says that he's so happy with Tracy he never thought about Robin in that way anymore. All of that gets thrown in the trash. Why do that? To use a Harry Potter metaphor, Ted is Severus Snape, while Barney is James Potter: the former loved the girl of his dreams with all his heart, even to the point of creepiness, but they weren't meant to be together. 

Robin

This, along with the next point, is the worst of all: Robin is the worst character of the entire finale. Her relationship with Ted in season 2 is wonderful, and I say that as a full-on Barney/Robin shipper. There was never a problem in their relationship, apparently, but they then break up because they have an "expiration date" and ultimately want different things in life. Except that Ted is not her soulmate. The only times when Robin wants Ted are the times where (1) she can't have him because he's either trying to move on or (2) the times where it's convenient, for example when they become roommates again and they solve their disputes again. Around that time, we see perfectly that Ted had moved on and that the person getting hurt was Barney. It's one thing to see Ted and Robin in the finale as two people picking up where they had left off after they dated. But this is not the case. 

In season 7, we have the exchange that should have put an end to any and all TedxRobin drama, and that completely invalidates whatever the writers wrote after that about the two of them: Ted declares his love - "I think you know how you feel about me now. I don't think time's gonna change that. Just tell me: do you love me?" To which she answers "No". And Ted also says later to Marshall, that he's "happy because he can finally move on". 

What a load of crap. 

Getting over someone is hard, believe me, I would know. And, oftentimes, it doesn't happen until we find someone else to love (and from the moment he meets Tracy, there is no one else for Ted). But by giving Ted feelings for Robin after this moment, it takes away from the beauty of it- because it's one of the most heartbreaking feelings in the world when you declare your love to someone and they don't love you back. Ted and Robin were both honest at that moment, and it was the last genuinely good exchange between them. After that, during season 8 they try to show us Ted trying to get over her (and failing) and in season 9 Ted getting over her completely. This is also weirdly paced because at the beginning of s8 both are in happy relationships with other people and there's no jealousy (which is good, because at least they weren't toxic) and they seem just friends (when Robin leaves Nick to go see him in the middle of the night, she implies that she would do it for any of her friends), but after Ted breaks up with Veronica because of Robin everything is weirdly coated in this sort of tension between the two: first Ted loves her, but she doesn't, so when he helps her by taking her to Barney's proposal ("which means my best bro in the world has given me his blessing"). 

And, by the way, every time they try to paint Ted as the guy that comes through for Robin after this moment, they dumb down Barney's character. And still fail to make Ted a better guy than him (see: the carousel in Central Park). 

Yes, Robin and Ted have some chemistry, but it is nothing compared to what Robin and Barney have. Every time Robin is jealous of Barney, it doesn't seem like a stupid whim, just because some other child is playing with her toys (except, perhaps, during The Robin). Robin and Barney's relationship would need a whole other post, and the next time I rewatch the series I will write down all the things that make them perfect for each other, but, to me, the biggest difference between the two relationships is this: in season 6, when she's not dating either one of them, Ted accuses Robin of never making him feel needed while they were together, whereas Barney praises her for it. Those are elective affinities: that's what Barney and Robin have, and what Tracy and Ted have. 

Barney and Robin have more or less the same arc: they both get over their fear of commitment and they do that with each other. Time and time again, we are told that if they're ever going to settle down, it would only be with the other. The first time they break up is honestly so stupid, and even when they are broken up, they are the best of friends, which also makes Robin's behaviour in the finale look so stupid. The way the two of them fit together is unparalleled, both in a romantic and a platonic way. 

Think about it: Robin makes Barney a better man, while she makes Ted a worse one. 

Also, the whole point that there are different seasons in life for everything gets thrown out the window: apparently, Ted and Robin (that were a couple that ultimately worked in their young twenties) are the same people in their forties.

But that's not even the worst part. The worst part is that the two final episodes butcher Robin's arc as well: episode 23 starts with Lily saying "I want this girl to be in our lives" and we know Robin never made other friends outside of the gang, because she didn't need to, and now she walks away from everything because of fucking Ted?? This is saying "hey, Robin was only in the group for Ted, who brought her in, and now she leaves because he's not her puppy anymore". Robin was the one that was eternally indecisive between Ted and Barney and you're telling me that three years and many many life experiences later, she's still not sure? 

The point of her story is learning how to get over her fear of commitment, learning how to be there for her friends (there's an entire episode dedicated to that, and it's the one where Lily's pregnant and we meet Robin's ex-best friend in Canada), and how to balance her job and her life. Also, the way her character is treated is un-feminist and un-progressive: she becomes Ted's consolation prize. She is passive throughout s9. She cannot, ultimately, win the modern-day struggle most women have and balance out career and love life, so her true life, her "happy chapter" begins after she has already accomplished everything she wanted to and she's free for Ted. She doesn't even go back to him, she just the prize the main character wanted for all his life and only got in the end because his wife died (ONE SCENE, people, ONE SCENE!). Also, this makes Tracy the "broodmare" that gives him the kids he wanted, and his "happy family" experience before he goes to be with his one true love. 

The mother

This. This makes me so mad. One whole season spent on building up Tracy's character, just for it to go to waste. It would have been so easy to screw her up, but she is hands down the best thing about s9. She's the perfect woman for Ted and the episode shot through her perspective is the sweetest. By the end, I liked her more than Robin and Lily. She was the perfect addition to their group, she fit together with them in a perfect way, and they show us the biggest moment of her and Ted's life... for what? To have her die in a few sentences? And I don't care if they shot a funeral scene, I don't care if the finale was supposed to be 40 minutes long, because, in the end, it wasn't. The scene where Ted meets her is the second most beautiful one (after Barney's proposal to Robin) and the climax of the whole show, but they ruin her... and for what? The chemistry Ted has with her, he has with no one. The joy she brings him, the way she understands him, is unlike any other. I am sure that one of the reasons they killed her off was the shock value and I hate it. 

I cannot stress this enough: Tracy makes Ted a better person. When he's with Robin, Ted is "the nice guy" in the most selfish and narcissistic version of the trope. When he's with Tracy, love comes easy to Ted. Also, the scenes between the two of them are arguably the best Ted scenes of the show.

The kids' reactions (ugh)

It's not really what they say- it's the way they say it. The end of HIMYM was not supposed to be funny, even though the show is a sitcom. It was supposed to be bittersweet and beautiful, because it's the end of an era, and the writers must have known that. So, Ted finishes telling his story, reveals to the audience that their now-beloved Tracy is dead, and the reaction is: "No, ahah, you totally have the hots for Aunt Robin" (their words, not mine). Like, what the actual fuck? I cringed when Penny said that. It's tasteless and not fun at all. Even if it has been six years... It's still your fucking mum, show a little bit of sadness at the thought of her. 

The reason the show ended this way

What makes me especially mad is that I know for a fact that the reason they went with this ending is that it was the original one, always intended for the show, from season 2 onwards. And, if you watch it right after s2, it makes sense. But if you consider the eight years that passed and the massive character development, then no, it's not the best possible one. So many things hadn't been decided yet back in s2, especially about Barney, Ted, and Robin, and I hate that they didn't dare to scrap their work. This ending probably had sentimental meaning to the writers, but authors have to do what's best for their characters, not themselves. It's like with GoT, in a way: I think that the authors were all too aware of the impact of HIMYM and didn't believe that their finale would live up to the expectations... which compelled them to make the worst decision possible?? Every single character is OOC during the episode. Oh, and Marshall and Lily moving in the last episode is a ripoff from Friends (or maybe a tribute? Idk). Anyway, I believe that the authors were too attached to their sentimental version of "what should have been" and didn't give the characters the endings they truly deserved.

"Life works this way" // "Life only moves forward"

Some people say that the show is realistic because that's how life works. But I call super-BS on that. That might be true, and yes, people do get sick and die (Max, Marshall's dad...) and life does go on. But then, you don't frame it the way they did. It's just bad storytelling if you do it like that. And the problem is not the structure of season 9, because the characters develop in that season. The problem isn't even the mother's death. The problem is Ted ending up with Robin because that's not life moving forward for him, that's him, doing the same thing he did in 2005, 25 (twenty-fucking-five) years before! 

In conclusion, this finale is incoherent and inconclusive, and not satisfying at all. The only character that gets a good ending is Marshall: why is that? What makes his ending great? It's the fact that his character arc is respected and he finally gets what he's been working towards for more than ten years.

[bubblyani]

Bail Out : 08

(Bruce Wayne x Reader)

A Bruce Wayne Multi Chapter Series

Chapter 08: Dinner Date

Summary: One fateful, drunken night gets you arrested for assault.  However, once you get bailed out by Billionaire Socialite Bruce Wayne,  surprising obstacles get in the way, forcing you to question all your  choices in life, career, and in love.

Word Count: 11k +

Rating: Mature (18+)

Warnings: Swearing and Sexual Content

Author’s Note: This took a while, but when you read it, you will definitely understand why. Plus, I wasn’t feeling well for a few days so needed some well deserved rest. But yay! New Chapter is here! Enjoy y’all!

CHAPTER LIST

Shades of blue dissolved in to gray, providing the entire apartment with a brand new filter at dawn. And it barely was noticeable to you. It would be when being in the comfort of his arms seemed far more important.

Breaths in perfect syncopation, both of you found one selves recovering slowly. Heartbeats may return to the normal pace, but the pleasure received was successfully engraved in every cell of your being. The intense pleasure experienced a few seconds prior. As the foreheads remained pressed together, a thin layer of delicious sweat lubricated each other’s skin. Whose ended where? It did not matter.

Slowly bending down forward, Bruce certainly was surprising as his head rested on your right shoulder, brushing his lips over your neck, placing tender kisses on the spots deemed most sensitive. Gentle gasps were inevitable for you to release, followed by soft moans as his lips did not fail to have an intense effect on you. With your hands grazing over his shoulder blades through his suit, you wondered if his eyes had caught the sight of the faded strangle marks. Perhaps not, with the morning lights yet at its infancy. Yet, it appeared he did, for his lips comforted them, and soothed them like a healing balm.

Never did you imagine your first time with Bruce Wayne to be this unexpected and messy. For making love to a man such as he would purely entail luxury. Undressing each other from the finest attire, diving into the snow white sheets of exorbitant price, overlooking the glittering Gotham skyline. But here you were, legs locked around his frame, perched on the dinner table in the early morning at your humble abode. It truly was life. However, the reality did not obstruct the wonderment and pleasure that was received regardless. In fact, it was equally meaningful. Sheer desperation transformed into extreme desire, and pent up for longer than it should. And this morning was certainly a testament to that. Something so uncontrollable.

Grabbing the panties that hung from your left foot, you quickly slid off the table when Bruce moved away. You suddenly felt shyness returning to you as you pulled the panties back up. Looking up, you felt the atmosphere had changed when you noticed he was far from being pleased whilst buckling up his pants. It worried you. Paranoia suddenly pushed the shyness away.

“Hey…”

You whispered, placing your hand on his shoulder, “ Do you regret it?”

“No!” His reply was instant, “It’s just…” he paused, looking down “I should have-I could have-”

Looking right where he looked, you came to the realization of his words. With the lovemaking being intense and passionate, it was no surprise how his gracious release of passion ended up inside of you without prior warning. The fact that made him worry touched you so.

“Bruce…” you chuckled, rubbing his forearms with comfort, “I’m on the pill…don't worry…” you assured, smiling, “I’m a big girl, Bruce. I know how it goes”

That assurance did not seem convincing enough for him. With his eyes still glued to the ground, his aura exuded remorse. As if he had caused you betrayal. You could not be more touched, for this man was pure at the unexpected of situations.

“Come on…” you said, lightly punching him on his strong forearm, “You’re Bruce Wayne…” you added encouragingly, as he looked at you, “Billionaire Playboy…” gusto brimmed in your soft voice as you patted him on the chest, “Just…think of this as one of those adventurous one night stands-”

Except his hand held on to your hand, keeping it over his chest. His eyes, they shone of pure longing, looking beautiful even under the gray light as they looked at you:

“It’s not the same” He breathed low.

Your rib cage suddenly was short of space when you felt your heart expand twice its size. Pulling you to him, Bruce wrapped his strong arms around you, making it quite convenient for you to gaze into those orbs. Truthfully, you need not much convincing. His eyes truly had become the most entrancing sight to indulge besides the morning sky in the blue hour. His gaze on you brought forth comfort, similar to a small fireplace on a winter’s day. Your eyelids grew heavy with intoxication, smiling as a result when he blessed you with kisses on your quivering lips. They were tender kisses of love and assurance, all before sealing it with a tight embrace. With a deep exhale, you felt it. You felt the expanded heart of yours, prepared by all means necessary, to store and treasure that overwhelming emotion you possessed for him.

So it seemed he certainly did not regret it. And you were more than relieved.

“You want some coffee?” You inquired in a muffled tone to his chest, the moment his grip loosened. Smiling at him, you headed to the kitchen pantry, “We all need a little wake-me-up before work”

“I thought I already got you one” Bruce replied teasingly. His playful expression suggested what you could guess. It was quite evident given his low, sensual tone. Suppressing a smile, you did not know whether to be amused or be aroused all over again. But eventually, you succumbed to quiet laughter. Seeing his reciprocative smile lit your spirits, the manner in which his teeth was displayed, the manner in which his cheekbones were highlighted. It was a sight so fulfilling.

Following a sudden vibrating noise, Bruce took his phone out. “Do you mind if-?” He inquired politely, motioning towards the television. You nodded. Whilst you occupied yourself fixing up your morning caffeine, Bruce stood watching the morning news. When Ted Hawthorne appeared in the screen with a swarm of reporters, you were compelled to watch as well. Especially when the title of the news segment read:

Wayne vs. Henderson Intellectual Property Breach: Wayne proved innocent

Taking a sip of the newly made hot coffee, you watched as your colleague began to address the crowd:

“In order prove our innocence, Mr. Wayne was more than prepared to go the farthest distance possible. And safe to say, he succeeded. For we at Wayne Enterprises had nothing to hide”

“Wait a minute” you breathed, walking over to Bruce, “…if this was filmed this morning, that means…were the press following you?” You inquired worriedly, pointing at the screen. Bruce shook his head.

“I went out through a different exit” “But your car…” you said, eyes widening before peeping through the window, “they can trace you back here…can’t they?” Turning back to him, you were surprised to see him so unaffected. He smiled: “I borrowed Ted’s car” “But how will he-” “He borrowed mine in return…” finishing the sentence, he managed to reassure you. As if he knew what was coming. Sighing heavily with relief, you smiled.

“The Lamborghini? Lucky Ted…” you chuckled, taking another sip as you watched your colleague confidently answer more questions. However, you almost spat on your drink the moment Erik Henderson appeared. Standing in front of his grand mansion, he was as ill tempered as he normally was, possibly growing more enraged as the journalists threw questions his way. With his own shame swallowing him whole, he allowed his own lawyer to handle the press as he stormed into his home, with the title reading:

Henderson left with no comments after much strong accusations

Turning off the TV, Bruce caught your attention as he stared at you for a few seconds. Feeling his eyes wash over you, it was evident he was in deep thought.

“Penny for your thoughts?” You inquired, to which he smiled softy. With hands dug into the trouser pockets, Bruce Wayne was certainly appetizing, intensified especially with his loosened tie and messy hair.

“Why don’t we go out?”

He inquired, walking towards you, “Have dinner with me”

It was no request, it was a plea, brimming with affection. You chuckled. “But we did already…once ” you said, heading towards the the counter, “Remember the Company Dinner?”

This time, it was Bruce who chuckled. “No…” he stressed softly, “I mean…just the two of us” indicating his eagerness. As much as you found it quite adorable, reality struck you like lightning. Putting the coffee mug on the counter, you sighed.

“No…Won’t be right” you said, as you stared at the overhead cupboard. You could feel Bruce looking at you with disbelief. “Why are you-” “I don’t want people to think… that you’re dating the current Acting Head of HR.” You stated, turning to him with seriousness. Yes, you were blunt and very truthful. But it was the right thing to do. With confidence, he took one step towards you.

“Who cares?” He inquired. And truthfully, he meant every word, you could tell.

“I care…” you answered steadily. Were you being selfish? You were certain you were not, “Why?…Because it’s going to change people’s minds about you” taking a deep breath, you continued, “No matter how you may have acted before, being the typical rich playboy, people here in your company…” you smiled, “…they actually like you very much” you added, “Most of them say you even remind them of your father, who I wish I knew”

“He would have loved to meet you…” Bruce said softly, “…my mother too”

You were quite convinced how one really does not need rich words to stir the heart, for his words did. The very thought of a world where he lived happy, with his parents alive and well, was definitely something you would have loved for him. If you could have given it to him , you would have. Even if it meant a future where the two of you will never be together. Stifling the need to cry your heart out, you smiled.

“So what I’m saying is…” you paused, “…you shouldn’t break anyone’s trust right now…” you said, “You’re too good for that” you said, patting his shoulder with a smile, “besides… its gonna take a while for the company to recover from the heat I caused”, to which he suddenly started to chuckle.

“What ?” You asked playfully. Stopping his chuckle, he tilted his head: “You’re too good, you know.” He said affectionately, pulling you into his arms once again, “And to think you had the audacity to punch Henderson” You gasped. “How dare y-” Chuckles erupted out of you when Bruce Wayne attacked you with a passionate kiss. Amazing how his taste overpowered the coffee in your tongue. And in truth, you did not mind at all. In fact, his kiss energized you more than realized. Pulling away slowly, you cupped his face.

“I want whats best for us, Bruce…” you breathed, gazing into his eyes, “For the moment….this needs to be a low-key matter…” you insisted. Smiling sadly, you sighed, “I’m sorry being with me is so difficul-”

“It’s not…”

He answered faster than expected. It was not a simple matter. You knew. You just cared for him. And you cared for yourself as well. However, to have a man of power to show such genuine enthusiasm, you could not help but be moved. He certainly deserved something in return.

“I’ll have dinner with you” You said, to which his eyes lit up softly.

“You will?” He inquired. You nodded, your hands still caressing his face.

“Yes…” you agreed, “but… under one condition…”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“COOKING FOR HIM?? SERIOUSLY?”

Allison Hughs could not be more surprised, nor more disappointed in you that. You did not answer, but merely resumed stirring the frying pan with focus.

“You’re now dating the most eligible bachelor in Gotham…” Your roommate began, “ and your idea of a date is a home cooked dinner?”

“In the Wayne Penthouse, mind you” you said, pointing at her with the big wooden spoon, before you turned off the stove.

Soon after Bruce left, Allison arrived home from a party. Thus, the sight of her roommate frantically wiping the side of the table with disinfectant, certainly left her with many questions. To your surprise, Allison could not help but squeal with excitement upon what she heard. And of course the laughter followed with her amusement over your cleanliness concern.

“Okay let’s say you DO cook for him…” Allison said, as you served some fresh scrambled eggs onto her plate, “But…” she paused, putting a piece of egg into her mouth, “…you’re gonna end up all sweaty and unpleasant”

“Gee! Thanks, Ali ,..” you chuckled in an ironical tone, “Nah!!…” you shook your head, “You see…I got it all figured out” you declared with confidence, sitting down with the rest of the eggs, “I’ll be cooking in my sweats…but will have dinner in something less homeless…Argh!” groaning all the sudden, you covered your face, “What IS considered appropriate lingerie for a date with a billionaire?” you inquired, looking up as you pondered.

“That shouldn’t matter when you had sex with him already”

Allison chimed in with a naughty smile. Covering your face once more, You were forced to listen to your roommate’s evil cackle, even forced to groan with frustration when she proceeded to imitate cheap pornographic music in the background.

“Oh man…I did..” you giggled eventually, “and my pj’s too...so embarrassing. I felt like a freakin teenager” you added, shaking your head.   

“But wasn’t it….good?”

Allison’s sudden innocent query made you look at her. For finally, it forced you to realize what exactly was important to you. You chuckled.

“It was….great” you breathed dreamily, the passionate encounter involuntarily flashing through your head. You could recall the passion, the devotion and the pleasure. Sighing heavily, you smiled like an idiot, “ I honestly can…” chuckling, you continued, “I honestly can get myself off just thinking about it” you whispered it with guilt. But it was a vital guilt.

“AAAAAAND she’s BAAAACK!!!”

With a thundering clap, Allison cried out in a celebratory tone, “ Oh man!  I missed that dirty mouth of yours” she said, bringing out loud laughter from you as you served yourself the scrambled eggs, “I couldn’t believe you actually said…” pausing she began to imitate you: “Ali could you stop saying the S-word?” Causing you to laugh even louder.

“I can’t believe…” you groaned, looking down as you began to eat.

The scrambled eggs appeared brighter in yellow, and its texture, it seemed fluffier. More importantly, it was incredibly delicious today. And you knew why. You were teased to the point of blushing, yet you weren’t seemed to be as affected as you expected. And you indeed knew why. You were in love. And you never had been happier. Never had you felt this liberated in ages. Truthfully not all dilemmas were solved, and you had not relinquished your moral principles. However at least one was solved, and thus, a comforting thought lingered in you. The thought that somewhere in Gotham, there finally was someone willing to go so far to care for you, and to even patiently wait for you. Amidst all the storms that may pass by. Eventually, all must be solved. Until then, you decided to indulge.

Indulge the fact you could still love.

And it showed. In everything that you did. Every type of love song seemed to play wherever you set foot inside.Your smile grew wider, your cheer behavior amplified, your enthusiasm for life clearly visible. A newly bloomed version of you managed to parade around the HR Department, much to everyone’s surprise.

“Don’t know whats going on, Boss, but loving it!”

Greg said, showing his classic two thumbs up as he dropped by your office once. Smiling, you were filled with immense gratitude for colleagues like him and Paula providing you the support so clearly needed during Lillians absence. Turning towards the desk calendar, you heart skipped a beat in sheer willingness when you happened to glance upon handwritten remark over the following day in red:

Date Night!!!

Biting your lip, you knew you would wake up tomorrow with the largest bunch of butterflies. For just as any other woman, you were excited to go on that wonderful date.

However, before that, you had equally important business to attend to. Somewhere over at Gotham PD.

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Given the unexpected, yet friendly smiles of most Police Officers in the buzzing precinct, it was unclear whether to feel a sense of relief or utter confusion as John Blake ushered you to his desk. “Hope you didn’t mind me coming at lunch time...” You said, voice laced with concern whilst sitting down, “I just couldn’t find the time...” “Nah! I get it...” Blake replied, with a subtle smile, “I can’t imagine a woman like you breaking the law...except for that one time, of course” he chuckled. “Guilty...” you joked with a full smile. “OH MY GOD!” You jumped in your seat upon hearing a loud excited voice across the hall. That voice belonged to a police officer with a sturdy build, who came walking over to Blake’s table. His name tag titled “Ramirez”. And his face could certainly be titled “Excited” “It’s the Bruiser” He said, loud enough for the unaware to finally notice. “Dave, come on…” Blake muttered shyly, looking at his colleague with a serious look. “Oh! Sorry sorry…” whispering guiltily,  Dave Ramirez looked back at you, forgetting his apology as he kept staring at you with wide eyes. Only then you finally realized he was far from mocking you. “Big fan! Ma’am” he said softly, with a fanboy demeanor  “…that Henderson really had it coming to him” he said, while Blake covered his face with embarrassment, “I mean did you see that bullshittery he pulled at Gotham General? What Donation? He just gave a speech…that’s all! ” he said angrily, shaking his head, “A real asshole...” “Well I-” “Hey! Do you know the Batman?” Excitement growing in tenfolds, Dave’s eyes shone brightly with his query. “Dave! Chill man...” Blake said, pushing him away playfully, “…and is bullshittery even a word?” Chuckling softly, Blake looked down as Ramirez waved at you from the other side. “Is he by chance an admin in ‘Where’s the Bat. com?’” Through gritted teeth, you inquired, subtly waving back at Dave. Amazed, Blake scoffed. “Actually, he IS the unofficial contact from Gotham PD…” he said, “How the hell did you figure that out?” “Heh! Just a lucky guess…” you said, smiling “He has the quality…”

And before long, John Blake proceeded to do the needful. For in order to build a proper case against a man such as Erik Henderson, well stacked proof was essential from a reliable witness. And that was where you came in. You were cooperative with your answers, for you had no other reason not to be. Ever since the first mugging to the shoot out, you made sure to leave no details spared. Your pacing was appropriate, as Blake listened with focus, and all seemed to be going well. However, what fascinated you the most while describing the attacks, was one particular police officer standing nearby.

She was the redhead, who seemingly was quite close with Blake. And given her reaction to him, you certainly had no doubt confirming her affection for him. It was evident in the way she looked at him. A look, with a mix of admiration and affection, filtered down to appropriately fit the workplace environment. She was good at her job, as you noticed. She quick on her feet, casually passing by, dropping in more important files in Blake’s desk before he could even ask. And by the way he looked back at her with a subtle nod and a smile, you sensed a green flag to a possible future between the two. As much as their interaction was beautiful to witness, You could not help but be reminded of Bruce, and the affection you had for him yourself. A part of you longed for the liberation these people were fortunate enough to indulge in. The liberation to step out with your loved one with no consequence. However, that inconvenience was small price to pay. For Bruce Wayne was too precious for you to let go.

“Looks like we got everything we need…” closing the file, Blake appeared quite satisfied. “Oh good…” you breathed in relief. Sensing his confidence brought you hope. Perhaps this might lead to a legal resolution. Langdon, the redhead smiled secretly upon hearing the conversation, between her diligent file reading, and you managed to notice. Should you play cupid today? End their silent misery and gift them a happy ending?

“Uhh….” You began, “You know-” The merciless ring of your phone cut you off. “Greg!” you answered the call in a cheerful tone, “Everything okay?”

“Boss, it’s Clara!”

This was nothing new. However, you were confused. “Clara what?” You said, standing up, “What did she do this time, Greg?” you chuckled in disbelief by the thought of the consultant causing trouble once again.

“No, you don’t understand, Boss…” Greg said, sounding surprisingly downcast, “She’s leaving Wayne Enterprises…today”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You were certain you would almost stumble entering the Wayne Tower. But thankfully you did not, as you ran through the lobby all the way to the elevator area.

“Come on , Come on!”

Impatiently muttering, your foot tapped impatiently when you realized not one elevator seemed available at that very moment. You sighed. The mere image of missing the opportunity to part with her seemed regretful. Especially when she had decided to leave unannounced.

You rushed back as soon as you received word. Yet, were you too late?

A sudden ding! forced you to look over to the other elevator. It opened, with Clara Bennett exiting it as a result. She certainly was surprised the moment she caught you there, panting like a fool.

“Where did YOU come running from?”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“I understand if you’re busy with other assignments…” You began, “….but why didn’t you tell us about this earlier?”

You could not help but inquiry that, escorting Clara out of the building with reluctance, “We could have had a party for you…” you said, “Don’t wanna brag but…We at HR throw some nice parties…” you smiled with confidence. Clara laughed, finally smiling wide enough to display her beautiful big teeth.

“Well, as much as I love parties…”she replied, slinging her handbag on to shoulder,  “I just…felt like it was time” she added with a shrug. The moment those words exited her lips, you sensed sadness in them. Looking up at the towering building you called home, you sighed deeply: “You were a hurdle, Clara…”

You said, folding your arms soon after, “On the very first day I met you,  I wanted nothing more than for this day to come” you added, “But…” you paused, “Not anymore…” shaking your head, you smiled warmly, “ And like adults, I was glad to see us resolving our differences, coming to equal ground. And I like to think we got to somewhere close enough to be called friends…” you chuckled, with that addition, “…And with you on our side, you helped out more than I expected…So…Thank you Clara”

Taking your extended hand, Clara shook it with a firm grip, whilst looking at you straight in the eye.

“It’s been an honor…knowing you …” she said, voice laced with a somber tone, “Remember that…”

Genuinely surprised by her attitude, you could not help but laugh nervously, “Clara…” you began, “…just because you’re not coming back here, doesn’t mean we can’t meet up , right?” You felt a slight desperation in your voice.

Letting go of your hand, she smiled sadly.

“You never know…Life is short…” she said,  “So enjoy… every moment of it” she  could not help but stress out each word. Surprised, you dropped your arms to your sides as she continued to speak, “You never know when someone’s gonna suddenly snatch it from you” she added, pressing her lips together “…and you definitely never know when you will take… your last breath…” she said, “So…carpe diem!”

Leaving you utterly speechless, Clara Bennett flashed you a final smile, nodding with respect as she quickly began to walk away. Being the confident woman she always was, it was certainly unexpected to have her speak of all things profound and sensitive even on her last day. And as much as you preferred professionalism, you felt pain invading your heart. You detested farewells. And this seemed like one.

If it were any other day, you would have wallowed on this loss. This loss of a possible, potential friend. But thankfully you were relieved. For tonight, you would find strong comfort to heal you.

And his name was Bruce.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(Date Night)

The moment the elevator doors opened to the Penthouse, a scent greeted Bruce Wayne. A scent deemed quite unfamiliar to him, lingered in his nostrils.

Following Henderson’s false accusations, there was quite the damage control that was required , alongside convincing the board and the shareholders not to make a dramatic scene. With the aid of his trusted CEO, Wayne managed to calm the wolves. And when he returned to his abode that evening, he finally empathized the mental exhaustion of the common working man in Gotham at some level.

Thus, this unfamiliar scent surprisingly sent waves of energy through him, bringing life to his body in a manner that was indescribable. It was rich, savory yet simple, and definitely came from the kitchen. Turning towards that direction, he stopped the moment familiar voices reached his ears:

“No, Alfred! You see, the secret is to make them super thin” “Or else it gets too heavy, I assume?” “Exactly. Right to the point”

His heart certainly felt as ease the moment his eyes fell on her. Standing along with Alfred Pennyworth by the kitchen counter, an engaging conversation danced across their lips about the several plates of food before them.

A simple sight it may have been, true. But the sight brought forth a strange feeling to Bruce. A feeling so unfamiliar, yet warm. It was undeniable. The sense of security, the sense of belonging he never experienced, it finally revealed itself to him. This feeling, could this be a taste of Domestic Bliss? He could not help but smile by the mere thought of it. He could not help but be hopeful by it.

Sensing new company, the woman looked over her shoulder, forcing the family butler to do the same, as they finally caught the sight of Bruce. Their warm smiles immediately appeared, giving much color to their faces.

“Ah! Master Wayne!” Alfred called out, “You’re home”

Bruce smiled, for indeed he was.

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“Can’t believe you’re finally taking the night off, Alfred”

Smiling to yourself, Bruce’s words filled your ears as you picked up one of the deep porcelain plates from the  white marble counter.

“Well,..” Alfred began, “..finally I’m inclined to...” he said, flashing his full smile.

Heading towards the oven, you suddenly grew surprised by it. When you arrived at the Penthouse this evening, Bruce was not around. But it was truly a blessing in disguise as you wanted to surprise him with a lovely meal. And with Alfred as company, you simply had a blast. The more you conversed with British butler, the more you began to realize how he was already promoted to be one of the most favorite people to converse with. But during all this time, this certainly was a piece of information you did not hear before.

“What do you mean?” you inquired the two men, “He rarely takes any?” You added, whilst opening the oven door. Bruce smirked.

“You ask him” he motioned towards Alfred, who nodded instantly. Putting the plate inside, you were nothing but amused.

“Wooooooow! That’s huge” you said, moving over to grab two more plates, “Then I hope you enjoy tonight, Alfred. I’ll save your share” you winked playfully.

“Oh, I’m counting on you to, Miss” Alfred stated, as he pointed at the plates, “For that looks appetizing”

“Batman and Alfred...” You said, putting the plates inside the oven, “…taking the night off...Heheheh-oh! Speaking of...” you began, snapping your fingers after closing the oven door shut, “I was always curious…” you continued, “…why bats?”

The moment you posed this question, the men suddenly grew quiet. As if it was the most unexpected of inquiries. For a moment you wondered if you had stepped out of line. But truthfully you were surprised you did not ask about this before.

“Well-” Bruce began.

“Oh! Bats frighten him...” Cutting him off, Alfred added with such nonchalance, “So he reckoned it was time his enemies shared his dread as well”

This time, it was you and Bruce who took the opportunity to display surprise. With a simple shrug, Alfred still seemed unaffected.

“That’s what he told me, Miss” he added, his thick British accent giving the facts a firm support. Tilting your head, you nodded in acknowledgment. It probably would seem a tad bit outrageous explaining all this to someone else. You could empathize.

“Well…” you began, with your hands on your hips, “I’m petrified of roaches so...” you added with a chuckle, “I guess Batman is a better name than Roach man so…I’ll give props”

You said, watching the two grown men chuckling at your rather weak joke. Regardless of the quality of your humor, it was quite the sight to witness these men in their most relaxed and happy state. It fact, you were in realization of the privilege you possessed. Bruce began to stretch, running his hand through his hair in his three piece suit:

“Let me go change into something more comfortable”

“Oooooh!” You teased, “….like in the movies…”. Acknowledging it with a happy nod, he walked over to his bedroom. As you watched him walk away, you felt Alfred’s gaze at you.

“I admit, it is quite lovely to hear a sound of woman in this place” He beamed, grabbing his jacket, signaling his leave. You chuckled in complete disbelief.

“That’s really sweet, but I know that’s not true” you said, walking with him towards the elevator. Being the man he was, you could imagine all kinds of women making themselves at home in this place.

“On the contrary...” Alfred began, as the elevator door opened with a ding!,  “Master Wayne doesn’t exactly socialize” he explained whilst entering the elevator. You could not help but admire his smart stance as he stood straight, “One might call this…” he said, pointing at you, “…. a rarity” 

Touched, you smiled involuntarily. The fact Alfred Pennyworth even made the effort to convince you so, truly made your night.

“Thank you, Alfred…” You said softly, waving at him as the elevator doors closed shut.

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(A few minutes later…)

Even placing items as simple as table mats on the elongated dinner table seemed to give a touch of home to the penthouse. Truthfully, you could not get over how humongous the apartment was. Tonight being the time you remained there the longest, you certainly indulged the time and took in the surroundings. As you admired, you could not help but drift off into a dream, fantasizing of a wonderful place of your own, living your best life possible. Moving towards the corner of the table, you began to place the stylish mats on the opposite sides before adding the fancy cutlery on one. “May I-?” Bruce’s soft voice crept in from behind you like a cool breeze. It soothed you. “Sure...thanks” You smiled, handing him the rest of the cutlery. Bruce smelled of bath gel and fresh laundry, donning a black t-shirt and shorts. He was at homely as he could be whilst moving to the other side to place the cutlery. Except he froze, standing there with a confused expression for a split second. Before you could even question, he suddenly smiled to your relief, surprising you as he took the table mat, moving it to the head of the table. Just so the two of you could sit close to one another, without even sparing any form of distance. You were soothed once more, except this time with warmth around your heart. “I know…” you suddenly began, “I’m not like other women-” “You're not..” He said, looking up at you with a smile. Suppressing your own smile, you pressed your lips tightly. He certainly always knew what to say. “This is NOT my date look, by the way...” You said defensively, pointing at yourself. Dressed for comfort, your gray sweatpants proudly showed off themselves with a plain white T-shirt, with your hair safely tied in a high bun. When it came to looking homely, you gave Bruce quite the competition, “I DO have something nicer...” You stressed, as you slowly took shy steps away from the table, in a particular rhythm, as if you partook in a  dance routine, “…Hopefully you'll like it. You know us women, we won’t mind being complimented every once in a while. So…I hope you will…” you said, hands tightly tied behind your back with a mischievous smile. “Well...” Bruce said, looking at you up and down as he joined the mischievousness, “I was actually gonna say, that outfit looks-” “Don’t…I was just-” you chuckled, raising your hand with an embarrassing smile , “…you don’t have to-”

“...beautiful on you...”

Biting your lower lip, you smiled shyly as your eyes averted down. Though the penthouse was generously spacious, it was unbelievable how the air had suddenly left your respiratory system. It certainly was the first time he ever complimented you that way. Walking over to you, Bruce’s hand took yours, sending quick shivers down your spine. No matter often he had held you, it certainly was difficult to get accustomed to it. He was a dream to you.

“So...” he asked softly, “What are we having tonight?” Shyness took an impromptu break, leaving you with enough enthusiasm to be your cheery self once again. “Well you’re in for a treat...” you said brightly. Tugging him by the hand, you led him to the kitchen area, “ Fun fact, my mom used to make this…” you said, as the both of you stood before the oven, “…its her own special recipe...” “Really? How do you make it?” “Oh...” you chuckled nervously, for that was unexpected,“…you wouldn’t find it interesting...” But his look said otherwise. It was difficult to comprehend how curious he was about it. “Well ...” you held your hands together, “It’s basically a flavorful meat filling, stir fried with onions, carrots and spices…” you said, squinting your eyes with pleasure, “…then it’s wrapped inside a thin savory crepe, baked with a delicious cheese sauce poured over it...” Your face and hands were on a world of their own, relishing the sheer image of the cooking process, yet you managed to notice the fascination in Bruce’s eyes as he watched you with his hand on the counter.

“It’s a simple dish, yes”you admitted with a nod, “but it’s really, really good…it’s….” You paused, as if to find the perfect words, finally looking up with a smile “...something very special to me. So I figured...” you shrugged, “…why not share it with you?”

“The way Alfred wanted his share, clearly says something” Bruce chuckled, turning to grab the wine bottle that stood on the counter. “Speaking of which....” you began, opening an overhead cupboard to grab two wine glasses, “I’m really glad he took a break tonight” “All thanks to you…” “Well, Hope he is having a blast…” You said, watching him insert the corkscrew into the bottle cork. “He is…” He said with a smile, twisting the screw in. You raised your eyebrows. “How do you know?” You inquired, trying your hardest to not be distracted by his toned arms as he pulled the cork up finally. “Cause he’s having drinks with Lucius..” “Mr.Fox?” Your eyes widened, “ Huh! Never knew they were friends” You said, involuntarily nodding with acknowledgement as you placed the glasses in front of him. Pouring the red wine into the glasses, he nodded: “They like you….” He said, “Alfred and Fox. They never fail to mention it to me…” he added with a soft chuckle. Happiness and relief overflowed within you, it was simply unbelievable. “Awww! I’m sorry you had to hear that…” You said, adding a mischievous grin. “No…it’s reassuring” Bruce’s response had you surprised, “I’m glad they do…” he looked over to you, “…it means I made the right choice” Busy trying to pick up your heart that suddenly had fallen on to the ground, you did not even hear the Oven Timer ring. Never did you realize how romantic he could be, with the simplest of words. Waking from the spell he had casted, you looked at the oven with wide eyes: “Oh! It’s ready…” Scurrying towards the oven, pride was written all over your face by the sight before you. The spicy meat filled delights were indeed ready. The cheesy sauce bubbled on each plate, giving it such an appetizing appearance. “Wow…” You heard Bruce breath, which seemed to be a very good sign indeed. Looking over at him, you smiled widely: “Bon Appétit! Monsieur Wayne…”

With the hot deep plates safely kept on heat mats, you and Bruce dug in with your forks, feasting on the simple yet delicious dinner, while quenching the thirst with red wine. The spicy meat filling provided much contrast from the rich cheesy sauce and the soft crepe. The taste will always be unforgettable, as you still could not get over it after all these years. It was your comfort food. You hoped Bruce would feel the same. And to your relief, it was safe to say he relished it as much as you did.

Silence did not take part tonight, for conversation was simply energetic. Curiosity of each other’s lives led to a chat about one’s life at university, which ranged from your gap year traveling abroad learning foreign languages, to the time Bruce embarked on a seven year journey traveling the world, all in order to train, combat his fears until he finally returned to Gotham with a purpose of his own. Immersed in his words, you were delighted to watch him speak with gusto. Nodding enthusiastically, you listened with the most focus. The more you learnt about the man, the more you were compelled to respect and empathize him. All the sudden, you realized a matter of much importance.

“…I couldn’t do it as Bruce Wayne…” he continued, “Gotham needed a symbol... something elemental…”

Nodding in acknowledgment, you slowly got up unannounced, which surprised him. “What is it?” He inquired as you exited the table. But, you returned back to the table, only to place another steaming plate of spicy meat crepe with the delicious cheese sauce before him. “You were licking the plate clean”  you said, with your hands on your hips. Just then, Bruce looked at his hands, as he noticed how he had kept the fork aside, licking whatever remained in his empty plate with his fingers. “But …” he fumbled, “…isn’t this Alfred’s share?” He said, pointing at the new plate. “I made four…” you said, turning towards the fridge, “ ..his one is inside”  looking back at Bruce, you smiled, “Figured Gotham’s Dark Knight…would have an appetite” Looking down at his new plate, Bruce looked back at you with a smile: “This is really good” he said, as he quickly proceeded to eat the rest. Your heart did not fail to clench with emotion. The fact someone as rich and powerful as he showed this much enthusiasm towards your humble dinner, it certainly made you adore him even more.

After more feasting and talking, came in the not-so-interesting part: cleaning the dishes.Truthfully, you never detested the activity. However, having a dishwasher certainly would help you focus more on the date instead. Bruce was helpful, as you both did the needful cleaning before inserting the plates and dishes into the machine. Done in complete silence, yet it was a comfortable one. It was therapeutic. “Everything you just said...” you began, as you put the last plate in, “about your past…I…” you paused with a smile,“I really appreciate it. Truly” You said, closing the dishwasher. With his hands in his shorts pockets, Bruce nodded in acknowledgment: “Well...I wanted to tell you…” he said, a gentle smile lingering in his lips. Turning back, you wore a secret smile. You heard Bruce chuckle. “I assume you’re gonna say something” He said, inviting you to smile broader. The mannerisms he had identified in you so quickly, it pleased you. It was impressive. The fact he actually pays attention to them, you could not help but increase your affection for him even more. Lazily leaning against the counter, you tilted your head: “You’re so different out there with everyone” you said. “You’ll have to be more specific” “I mean…” putting your hands up in defense, “…no offense, but…” you paused, as if to think, “...whenever I would see you in the news or out in public...” fumbling, you began to laugh, “…you’re that rich jerk…You know? Arrogant and carefree…” you added, mid laughter, upon seeing his wide eyed astonishment, “…its true…but whenever we’re alone…” with your tone changing to soft, “…you’re so different.”. With much needed pause, you looked at him with a serious expression, “...Why?” Bruce smirked, “I think you know why…” “What?” “Go ahead, I wanna hear what you think” Bruce said, sounding quite fascinated once more. This liberation of expression, it was new for you. Looking down, you allowed your trail of thoughts to take center stage, until you finally gathered your thoughts to look up with a confident gaze: “Maybe…” you began, “… you’re doing it on purpose…” you said, as he took two steps closer to you, “…Maybe you’re being the person people would least expect to even be considered as Batman” you smiled, “It’s like you’re… putting on a show, showing pretense…” You had a gut feeling your answer was somewhere close to accurate, given the impressed look in his face. Bruce nodded: “It makes it seem less suspicious, yes” he agreed. Suddenly you felt the urge to be bold: “What about me? Are you pretending with me?” you inquired, slightly afraid to know the answer. But to your surprise, he took another step closer to you, merely a few centimeters between, causing your heart to beat fiercely once again. Warmth tapped you on the shoulder the moment he cupped your face to look straight at you. “I never did” he breathed. Your eyebrows were raised.   “Not even on the first day?-” “Especially not on the first day” “Good” You heard yourself say. You were relieved. However, your poor heart began to engage in intense skipping rounds of ecstasy, when his thumb lightly brushed over your lips with affection. And you, being the hopeless romantic, did not hesitate to let your lips kiss it gently, the moment it made contact. All the while your eyes never left his. Suddenly, Bruce was not patient anymore, surprising you fully as he swooped in to kiss you on the lips. A kiss that you embraced with all your heart. A kiss that was far from gentle. A kiss that set you on fire.

Roughly pressed against the dishwasher counter, your hands were greedy, grabbing him by his head, only to run your fingers through his hair. You always loved his hair. Your fingers shared your greed, as it proceeded to massage his scalp lightly in an involuntary fashion. All the while his lips expressed his affection to yours. You heard the pleasure you inflicted on him in your mouth, all by the forms of hums. Chuckling into the kiss, you quickly began to desperately moan the moment his tongue teased your lips, begging to enter safely. You were generous enough, welcoming him with enthusiasm, feeling it dash to find your own.

His intoxicating tongue, claimed ownership of yours, which you did not mind. Your own tongue held onto his with much force, the moment his large hands grabbed you by the buttocks, squeezing them tight enough to confirm his suspicions of if you even real. This pleasure was simply endless, causing much temptation as you felt his hand crawl underneath your shirt from the back. His bare fingers making initial contact with your bare flesh, was akin to touching fire, you were burning up. However, the moment that greedy hand traveled up, you had a clear idea of where this passionate encounter might head towards. And it wasn’t the best choice. Not like this.

“Bruce” You muttered, breathlessly into his lips.   “Yeah?” His response came in the form of a desperate, sensual whisper. With your forehead pressed against his, you breathed in:

“Give me a few minutes!”

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Steam filled the entire guest bathroom as you carefully exited the shower. For some reason you could not keep your eyes off your own reflection while you did. Grabbing a large towel, you were on a strict inspection of your own wet, glistening nude frame. You dried, moisturized and scented it as usual. You even proceeded to dress yourself. All the while, certain questions lingered in your mind: Would he like what he sees? Would you disappoint him? Would he accept it all?

A sudden rush flowed through to you, providing you with the horrifying reminder of your insecurities. You sighed.

“It’s just sex....just calm down” you muttered to yourself as you brushed your hair till it was smooth. Yes, it was just that. So why were you this nervous?

It certainly was not your first time, even with Bruce Wayne himself. In fact, the first ever time with him happened in the most unexpected and stress-free manner possible. Not to mention the pleasure. Frustrated, You closed your eyes. For the feeling of him inside you was still fresh in your memory, and in your own body. However, that fateful morning, desperation fueled the fire of your lovemaking. Thus, nothing else mattered.

Except tonight, no form of desperation came into play. Tonight you were blessed with the time and freedom for lovers to indulge and make love as nature rightfully intended them to. But that certainly meant taking one’s time, displaying vulnerability in every way possible, which included the physical. But you were simply nervous, and a part of you wished if lovemaking was every possible without the physical aspect. Looking at your own reflection, you traced your arms, your chest, your stomach with another sigh. You were no beauty queen, no model nor actress. Being a man with infinite pleasures in the palm of his hand, would he find you adequate? Would those pupils of his dilate and would that heart of his react to you upon witnessing at your most exposed? Your nervousness intensified to the point heat formed around your cheeks, while a knot formed in your stomach. This was simply too much, if only you could run away. But you could not. More importantly, you chose not to. You cared for him too much, you longed for him too much.

Sudden buzz from the phone woke you from your internal debate, forcing you to gaze upon the text that was received:

Hey! You at home?

It was Clara. Seeing it brought a smile, it relaxed you. Another text appeared:

You know what? I feel really bummed about suddenly leaving today. We couldn’t even hang out properly. So I was wondering if you wanna meet up for coffee?

“Oh Clara...” You muttered, clicking your tongue. Shaking your head, you formed a reply:

Hey! As much as I would love that, I can’t tonight. I’m sorta on a date. I’m really sorry :(

It was true, you really were sorry timing sucked this much. A state of unease came over you until you received her response, which was soon:

Oh wow! That’s great. Don’t apologize. Remember what I said. Life is short. So, enjoy your date! 

Thanks.

The moment you replied, a certain weight was lifted off your shoulders. As if Clara’s texts were the required force you needed to push away the boulder of insecurity from your view. And everything seemed clearer in an instant. Yes, you were on a date. Thank goodness you were, after ages. And with a wonderful man as well. Would it be so wrong to live for the moment? Would it so wrong to throw that insecurity away, all because you wanted to love him the way you could? Pinching your cheeks hard, you managed to turn your cheeks red, before looking back at your reflection:

“Okay...” you said, taking a deep breath, “let’s do this”

Making your way to his bedroom never felt this nerve wracking. You took a deep breath:

“Sorry I kept you long-”

You quickly paused, covering your mouth as you halted on your tracks. All when you finally saw Bruce. For he was there, but he definitely was not awake.

“Oh Bruce…” you muttered, soft as the way your heart broke by the sight of him. Slowly walking towards the bed, you managed to get a clear view. With the two wine glasses filled with red wine kept on the bedside cupboard, it was evident how he had waited for you. Yet it seemed that exhaustion had won, causing him to fall sleep across the bed as a result.

Truthfully you were not upset. During the past two days, you were aware of his hectic schedule. And that certainly meant being hectic as the silent protector of Gotham city. Catching who and what? You were well informed all thanks to wheresdabat.com. It was no bed of roses, being the Batman. You were an adult, so you understood. Life happens, shit happens as well. Thus, the fact the man you cared for with all your heart was safe and sound, and fast asleep seemed more relieving and important than any other concern. In fact, you could relate to his exhaustion. For he was human, no different from the rest of all humanity.

“Bruce...Hey” Crawling into bed, you whispered to his angelic figure softly, “…let’s get some sleep” you said, running your fingers softly through his head,“ Bruce-oh!”

You were quickly interjected as Bruce sleepily grabbed you by the waist, only to lay his head on your lap instead of grabbing a pillow. As inconvenient as it initially was, considering the fact you were still seated on bed, you still found it incredibly adorable. For you rather spend the entire night smoothing his hair and gazing into his peaceful sleeping face with all the love in the world combined.

There may not be any love making tonight, but that did not mean you could not make passionate love to him with your heart, that seemed to grow even larger.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You opened your eyes only upon the persuasion of the warm sunlight that had landed on your face. It surprised you, especially the fact you did not wake up to the blue hour this morning. Perhaps exhaustion caught up with you as well, forcing you to sleep through it. Fluttering your eyes fully open, you were greeted to the sight of the high glass windows that filtered the morning sunlight into the penthouse, providing the room with much clarity. Stretching out, you realized your lower body felt heavy, only to find Bruce still there, his head still resting on your lap as he slept soundly. Staring back at the roof, you smiled to yourself. You had the pleasure of indulging in this man’s features throughout the entire night, you could conjure up his face with your own imagination alone. You studied every line, every shape, they were all imprinted on your head. Slowly sitting up, you looked over to reunite with his visage, however your subtle movements convinced him to stir awake.

“ Morning” he mumbled, looking right at you with squinted eyes, to which you chuckled. His sleepy voice was heaven to your ears. “Good Morning…” you whispered as he slowly sat up. The mere image of this man in such a state was not a sight you expected to see. And given his expression, he certainly did not expect to behave this way either.

“I’m sorry…” he muttered deeply, “I fell asleep…”whilst rubbing his eyes groggily. But you shook your head slowly, managing to rid the sleep out of him the moment you caressed his face. Your eyes whispered to him how he need not apologize. Your smile reminded him how you empathized him. Your touch convinced that all was well. To which he smiled back with relief.

“Right…” you said, before moving towards the end of the bed, “…who wants coffee-” Except you could not get off the bed. Not when you felt Bruce pull you back to him, interjecting you with a long kiss. Surrendering to his lips, you were fully convinced how you were simply enslaved to his kiss, involuntarily wrapping your arms around his neck to intensify it. Finally pulling away, you felt his lips morph into a smile: “Looks like mornings our time, huh?” He breathed, forehead brushing against yours affectionately. Chuckling, you certainly could not forget the previous morning encounter. Perhaps the mornings were kinder to the both of you when it came to physical intimacy. “Oh…definitely…” you purred. However, you were sobered up the moment Bruce looked you up and down with wide eyes. As if the desirous spell had worn off. “You changed?” Looking down, you broke into laughter, “Oh yeah! I did…you didn’t see it last night” you said, quickly getting out of bed, fixing your loose hair before you displayed yourself to him. The morning sunlight managed to illuminate the green floral high waisted flowy long skirt, along with the white knot crop top you had matched it with, “…wore this especially for you” Placing your hands on your hips, you posed like a model, “…you like it?”

“I do…” sitting on the edge of the bed, Bruce was more than pleased. His tone suggested further than admiration. He simply seemed engrossed by the sight of you. And it sent shivers down your spine.

“Gosh....” You cried out in muffled tone, covering your face shyly whilst Bruce laughed.

“No really, You do look beautiful...” He said affectionately, extending his hand, beckoning you to come close to him. Walking up to him, you were quite shy: “I admit...It does feel nice when you say it…Oh!”

You quietened, it occurred so quickly the moment you felt his hands on your waist. Looking up at you, he managed to undress you completely with his eyes whilst his hands managed to undo your skirt from behind. He was not jesting anymore. And his eyes were sole proof. With your mouth parted slowly, no sounds exited you even when the skirt finally reached the floor, leaving your legs exposed to the open air. Before the chill attacked your skin, your heart began an impromptu workout as his hands grazed up your thighs, warming them and turning your legs into jelly, resulting you to straddle the man unannounced.

That insecurity of yours that haunted you last night, did not seem like much of an issue anymore. Not when you were brimming with the need to have him all to yourself. More importantly, the greed.

Panting slowly, you did not hesitate to permit your nimble fingers to grab on to his crew neckline, desperately pulling it up in order for him to completely discard it from his frame, revealing to you a side of him you had never laid eyes on.

Bruce Wayne was athletic, he was toned, well sculpted and simply breathtaking. You were awestruck without a doubt, but well aware to urge your fingers to run across his bare torso with such fascination and lust. Little did you know Bruce had plans, especially when he brushed your hair to the left side, leaving the right side of your neck all by its lonesome, but soon to be fortunate when he placed his hungry lips on it, kissing it with such tenderness you felt each one to the core. With eyes closed and immersed in pleasure, you were convinced how desperation definitely had taken a step back this time, leaving the lovers to indulge on each other leisurely. Holding you finally by the neck, you sensed the desire had quadrupled in his gaze, leaving you to gasp as he flipped you onto the bed in a flash.

Until you both heard sounds of glass clinking.

“What the-” Bruce’s impatience of getting you to bed, affected the two wine glasses that were kept on the bedside cupboard. For he accidentally hit them during, forcing the red wine to spill all over both of you. The glasses were safe, but your clothes were not. And that certainly was embarrassing enough to cause huge laughter between the two.

“Shit!” Bruce chuckled shyly, “Forgot that was there” Looking down at your heavily red stained knot crop top, you giggled to your own surprise. “Well Mr.Wayne…” you began teasingly, “ I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling very sticky right now..” “You and me both, Ma’am…” “What? Oh my-” Squeals erupted excitedly when you felt Bruce scoop you up and carry you to the shower with haste. Laughing alongside him, you held on to him with joy. Life may be laying down several obstructions for you lovers to love, yet you were more than grateful to spend the blessed time together. You smiled as the shower head sprayed warm water onto you whilst you began to undo the knot of your crop top.

“Ahhh this is so nice…” you yelled loud enough for your voice to travel across the shower, “I love your temperature settings, Bruce-Ah!”

Clutching your chest, you gasped the moment you found him standing right behind you. Which was more surprising, considering the fact he stood there, in the complete nude. It was breathtaking on another level, for sure.

In all your imaginary attempts, witnessing Bruce Wayne in this state was a challenge. Filled with such a sight, your eyes simply did not know where to begin and where to end. For you stood before a deity. 

“You’re not gonna wait your turn to shower?” You inquired, looking into his eyes as you did.

“Why should I? When we could do it together?”

That whispery query, it fueled you with a sense of arousal you had never experienced. It energized you, pushing aside any form of demureness as your eyes boldly began to scan his frame from top to bottom. But not without undressing yourself.

The sound of the running water filled the background whilst your crop top left your shoulders, leaving your wet, lace bra glued to your chest, which you successfully unhooked and peeled off to reveal your most vulnerable before your deity. Breathing was in slow syncopation, harmonizing with one another as you pressed your lips together with immense frustration. It seemed the wine spillage was no disruption at all.

“We’re not gonna shower, are we?” You inquired softly, taking a deep breath as you boldly felt his manhood. Your eyes glued to his own, your hand did not fail to display your affection by the careful strokes and gentle grips. Listening to his soft shivers upon your touch aroused you even more.

“Not really” he whispered, slowly shaking his head. And that really was all he could say. All before he blessed you with kisses. With you pushed against the wall, the hot water steadily flowed through you as you indulged in his blessings. Though he truthfully attacked you with kisses, you were not hesitant to call them blessings instead, as you welcomed them with the similar need of welcoming oxygen into your lungs. His kisses were that vital. They gave you life. Amazing how Bruce Wayne grew more and more important to you with every minute.

Desperation surprisingly kicked in Bruce when you felt his long fingers hook on to your wet panties, quickly pulling them down frantically until you managed to kick them off of you. It certainly was an entirely different experience when you sensed his generous hands roam over your naked, wet body, all the while his lips were busy tasting yours. And in the most unexpected manner, you felt light as a feather when Bruce picked you up with haste, wrapping your legs around his waist before his awakened shaft finally entered your throbbing opening upon your loud cries. Unexpected indeed.

Burying your face in the crook of his neck, you literally held on to dear life as he thrusted into you with passion. However, before you found yourself lost in pure pleasure, you were suddenly occupied with concern. For this was not how you longed for this to end.

“Bruce-Bruce…” you breathed, “…the bed-Take me to bed” Desperate cries, they reached his ears in a flash, his obedience following suit as the running water suddenly stopped before he carried you out of the cubicle in trance. “Wait Wait Wait!” Stopping suddenly upon your pleas, Bruce woke up from his intoxicated state, only to laugh out loud when he saw you grab a large towel before he exited the bathroom itself.

“What?” You inquired, looking at him with confusion when you proceeded to dry his hair while he walked. Laughter dying down to a chuckle, Bruce’s eyes were filled with warmth as he watched you:

“You’re definitely not like other women”

Smiling back, you pressed your forehead against his with affection: “You’re right” you breathed, “I’m not…and I won’t be” you added, tone with filled sincerity as you kissed him passionately. With his manhood still lingering inside of you, heaven was your current residence, moving to a better neighborhood when you finally landed back in his bed, pulling away from his lips, only to Bruce him hovering over you. This view, this position, it was all that you ever dreamed of.

“Love me…please”

That was all you needed to utter, before he resumed to move inside of you. His lips, they broke from the confines of your lips, making their escape throughout your frame, savoring every inch of your being, whilst his steady rhythm increased.

Today, grateful you were for the morning sun, shining gracefully on the penthouse and on your lover, just so you could remember this moment with clarity. Today, grateful you were for the generous time, and the gift of privacy for the two of you to finally indulge on each other with liberty, filling the atmosphere with nothing but the hushed cries of your names, until much satisfied release was finally met to the highest degree.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(Meanwhile…)

The beautiful marble floors indulged the attention as a woman in her early fifties walked down the hallway over them. Elegantly beautiful in her pantsuit, she finally stood by the door of the master bedroom. The room was furnished with the most expensive, and exuded wealth and power, which was highly emphasized by the beautiful stream of sunlight that fell on it through the curtains. The woman stood patiently, staring at the older  man who lazily pulled himself up from bed: Erik Henderson.

“Darling…” she began affectionately, “You’re awake…” her jeweled fingers grazing the door handle.

Henderson’s head turned, his messy hair resembling a crows nest as he glanced upon his wife. Only to roll his eyes with the least enthusiasm.

“Eh…” he muttered hoarsely with disgust, “Thought you’d be gone for your yoga by now” he said, turning away in an instant. Swallowing her sadness, the woman’s well practiced patience and grace continued to save her.

“It got canceled” she said, maintaining her affection. She did not seem surprised. Erik may be blessed with wealth, but the man unfortunately was never blessed with the sense of appreciation for life. Be it his comfort, his success, and even the wonderful woman who was his wife. Though her husband had fallen out of love, she never gave up. Even years later. Gripping on to one of her fingers, she took a deep breath,  “Erik…” she began, but her husband did not respond, as he quietly moved forward towards the glass trolley filled with bottles of alcohol.

“Erik?”

“WHAT?” He snarled annoyingly, looking at her. Flinching by his response, her breath shook nervously.

“Did you think about what I said?” She asked, watching him turn back to the trolley,  "About the Donation?” Her eyes glinted with hope whilst she mentioned it.

“Oh that…” Henderson began monotonously, as he poured himself a drink, “…you know what?” He said, turning to face her with a glass of whiskey in hand,  “Why don’t you ask me later…Maybe when I’m feeling a bit more…charitable? Hmmm?”

He was mocking her, it was quite evident. And he relished every moment of it. Scoffing in disbelief, the woman shook her head disappointingly, leaving him to himself as it was the only option.

Taking a gulp from his whiskey, Erik Henderson savored the taste in silence. The taste which consisted of his power, his dominance over every thing he laid eyes on.

“She seems nice…”

“Crap!”

Jumping with surprise, Henderson cried out, turning to his right upon hearing a familiar voice. It was Alpha.

Sitting comfortable on one of Henderson’s armchairs, the attire remained similar with it’s full black gear and donning the skull shaped mask. In short, it was menacing, even more so out in the daylight.

“Apologies…if you didn’t notice me come in…” it said in it’s electronic tone, “I thought you knew…” pausing, it coughed out loud, “… ignoring your wife and all”

Fuming, Henderson was not amused, especially with his veins popping out.

“I don’t think I deserve that kind of tone…when I’m constantly disappointed by your failure” he spat, moving violently about, causing the whiskey drink to fly over all corners. Alpha slowly rose up from the chair:

“If it’s any consolation, it was a close call, Mr. Henderson.” It said, “That night we almost had it. But those blunders aren’t for nothing” taking a few steps, its voice got lower, “We now have an advantage. And I am happy to say the next attempt will definitely be the last”

Erik scoffed, “I’ll only believe it when you bring me her carcass”

“But…” stopping, Alpha folded its arms, “I’m not a charity case you can just ignore, Sir” it said in a serious tone, “..you’ve fallen short on the last few payment installments”

With wide eyes, Henderson began to guffaw. He laughed so hard, it was he stared at a chimpanzee doing tricks. Putting down his glass, he pointed at Alpha whilst the laughter continues to take control, “In-Installments?” He repeated, clapping his hands, “Ohoho! You people are really something, eh? I mean, what’s really the fuss, huh? Worrying about payments over one lousy bitch?-ARGH!”

Fearful screams suddenly exited Henderson’s mouth, interjecting with the sound of strangulation as Alpha grabbed him by the neck, lifting him by the neck itself effortlessly whilst the old man dangled. Suddenly he was not so cocky now.

“You may be too rich to notice but…” Alpha began menacingly, “… we don’t do this just for kicks, Mr. Henderson” it said, its grip tightening in the midst of Henderson’s gasps, “Its a job…like anyone else’s. Its not like we’re these monsters…” it shrugged, “we also have food to buy, taxes to pay…”

Chuckling to oneself, Alpha felt adventurous with its humor. Almost about to blackout, Henderson frantically tapped Alpha on the hand. With a quick release, Alpha watched the pitiful man land on the ground with a groan.

“This time I can guarantee results…from my side…” it declared, as it slowly backed up towards a window, “…expecting the same from yours…”

Still gasping for air, Henderson recoiled with fear the moment a huge puff of smoke appeared with a bang, only to later find Alpha had disappeared.

Suddenly, his wife did not seem to be bad company.

——————————————————

Chapter 9 HERE!

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[mccarricks]

( brittany o’grady / demi woman ) WESLEY McCARRICK is 23 years old and is a SENIOR at thales university. SHE is majoring in FILM and is known for being THE MAVERICK as THEY can be HUMOROUS and OPEN-MINDED as well as DITZY and IMPULSIVE. every time i see HER/THEM, THEY remind me of PURPLE SKY IN THE DESERT, SKATING AS FAST AS YOU CAN TO FEEL THE WIND ON YOU, A JOKE TOLD WITH A TOOTHY GRIN.

hero’s back w character no. 2 and yet......

full name: wesley ‘wes’ elaine mccarrick

birthdate: february 2, 1997

age: 23

gender: demi woman

pronouns: she/her/they/them

zodiac: aquarius

nationality: american

ethnicity: black (louisiana creole) and white (irish)

hometown: santa fe, nm

languages: english, intermediate spanish

family:

theodore mccarrick, father

elaine barlow, mother

ruby mccarrick, older brother

delphine mccarrick, older sister

sherri barlow, maternal grandmother

many cousins

orientation: bisexual biromantic, pref. towards women/nb people but will date men

religion: agnostic

height: 5 ft 4 in

distinguishing features: eyebrows, hair, lips

character inspo: ilana wexler (broad city), harley quinn (dc comics), phoebe buffay (friends), prob more

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃

TRIGGERS: divorce, mentions of crime, drug and alcohol use

the youngest child of ted and elaine mccarrick, wes was a kid who is full of life. she’s the kind of kid who did things to make you smile, and it usually worked. she was warm and inviting, a little naive, but she had a strong support system.

her parents divorce when she’s six, she doesn’t quite understand it but her dad moves out, and her grandma and multiple cousins move in. it’s a lively household, between her mom, who works as a nurse, and her siblings, and her cousins, it was never really quiet and there was never a lot of room.

despite the split, her parents maintain that their children have a relationship with both of them, and truthfully, wes is a daddy’s girl. she and her dad were cut from the same cloth, happy go lucky, fun loving, a bit silly, he’s the one who introduces her to movies. it’s their thing, watching and critiquing them together, and it’s not whatever is in theatres either. they went for all times of filmmaking, new wave, surrealist, and more.

it really stuck with wes, who herself had begun making movies, mostly horror/fantasy/scifi stuff with her friends-- she writes and directs and occasionally, she’ll don a costume and star in them. they’re silly little things, but her family always sat down for her “premieres.”

her formative years are marked with plenty of things, sports, deaths of distant family members, a cousin or two who gets caught in the wrong crowd and ends up in jail, and throughout this, wes remains a rock for her family.

she’s in high school, and she gets into the eclectic crowd, the outcasts, the weirdos, the ones who smoked under the bridge, and partied out in an abandoned trailer near the desert. these freaks were her freaks. they accepted her with open arms, as she them.  

she chooses thales because she always wants to see the east coast, and frankly, as much as she loves her family, she wants to be free of them. and they have a fantastic film program. so!

she meets steven in their first film class together, and they’re fast friends, despite her usual weariness of YET another film bro, steven proves to be a good egg. so she thinks. she finds out through him talking that he might not be the most faithful to his girlfriend, and as much as she doesn’t like meddling, she thinks it’s only right to let clarissa, who she doesn’t really know well, know. however, before there’s a chance, everything happens-- now she’s stuck wondering if she should reveal the truth, or let sleeping dogs lie.

nana is different, nana and her dated her sophomore year, nana’s freshman year. it wasn’t serious. but they were fond of each other. they eventually break up, but they stay friendly, waving to each other in the halls, chatting at parties.

both the disappearance and the murder is weird for wes, who by all accounts, isn’t great at dealing with bad shit. she prefers to laugh about things. laugh about everything. because if she doesn’t laugh, she’ll cry.

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘

wes is a mess, a free-spirit, a walking contradiction. she’s very independent minded, the kind of person who does things without thinking so much about the consequences, this leads her into trouble sometimes. like nicking something from a convenience store, or stealing a stop sign as a prank. she’s definitely the kind to goof off and not exactly dedicate her full attention to something. and while she’s in genuinely good spirits on most occasions, she has a staunch ‘no asshole’ policy. the type to defend the underdogs, and go after bullies. she’ll punch you with a smile on her face, and yet it ends up being more unnerving than you realize. she’s a bit of a ditz, as well, never the best at school, but can talk your ear off about the going ons of the world. she’s a lovable dumbass, for sure, and loyal to a tee once you get her as a friend.

𝐓𝐈𝐃𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐒

horror movie fan! her favorites are some of the oldies, like dracula and  the bride of frankenstein! and some new ones! big fan of jordan peele’s work, as well as ari aster’s! but mostly really advocates for women directors and directors of color!

also does roller derby! she picked this up her first year at thales and fell in love with it, i can’t think of a name for her yet, but she’s a blocker, won’t hesitate to elbow some dick at the bar

kinda a tomboy? she’s always been! she’s rough and tumble and not afraid to get down and dirty with someone, i.e. will join those football games on the quad or crawl through the mud for a scene to shoot

doesn’t know if she wants to be a director/writer or a cinematographer honestly.... she loves the technical aspects of film as much as the making the stories

definition of a bruh girl, says it a whole lot, but also just if you tell her you love her, she’ll just roll her eyes and be like you’re an idiot (which means she loves you too) she’ll be affectionate if she’s close to you

kinda a wh*re oops....... texts multiple girls at a time and doesn’t want to hurt any of their feelings she doesn’t know how she keeps ending up in these situations... also a bisexual disaster

a stoner as well..... always has a massive jar of weed

unclear whether she lives on campus or off campus but if she does live off campus she has a pet turtle named elsa lanchester after the bride of frankenstein actress

a drummer! she’s in a band (name tbd) she started drumming at a young age and found it was a good way to manage her aggression

doesn’t really do well with emotions, so she’ll either be like there, there, or try to make jokes.... she really said kids can you lighten up

walking meme... such a walking meme... doesn’t know so many things she’s like a cute puppy with no thoughts head empty but she’s so fun to be around

life of the party.... nana she came fr ur spot and she took it and she’s not sorry but she does miss u a lot

doesn’t rly feel like she’s allowed to be upset anyways bc some people have it...... way worse.... can u say Imposter syndrome

kind of an enabler...... will be that person to push u to try things but not in a peer pressurey way, more like if u are unsure abt sending a text she says do it

wears fun earrings and socks! think lollipops or gummy bears or found objects like she collects that shit it’s her lifeline

boxes! she’s been boxing since she was abt 12, courtesy of her older brother (who is now a doctor thx ruby) and it’s a good way to exercise and release stress

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

best friend -- two of a feather, cut from the same cloth, or complete opposites it doesnt matter to her (the abbi to her ilana)

roller derby friends -- she’s p close to the team, margs on her

makeup artist pal -- i think it would be neat fr someone to try and teach her makeup whether its normal or sfx bc she wants to look like a monster or smthn

she’s gullible, u take advantage of that -- u just tell her lies p much and she’s like yeah ok that sounds right

party friends

classmates

fwbs (f/m/nb) -- tbh she might have one or two of these but they literally are the def of pals who bone sometimes... like v good abt being like you good? u dont want more? cool me too

exes (f/m/nb) -- mostly dated women or nb people but def cld have had a guy

she smokes you out -- p much the only reason u hang out w her is bc she has good weed

someone she’s fought -- like fully decked in the face, prob said something that rubbed her the wrong way and it just devolved from there

people who dislike her -- she could definitely be seen as annoying bc shes loud and dorky and funny so ??

breaks someone out of their shell -- p self explanatory, pushes them to have fun, w everything happening shes rly like lifes too short to not take the opportunities around u

cousins! probably on her dad’s side! i figure she has some east coast fam 

anything? truly?

[ducktracy]

111. buddy the gee man (1935)

release date: august 24th, 1935

series: looney tunes

director: jack king

starring: billy bletcher (jail warden, prisoners, machine gun mike), jackie morrow (buddy)

23 cartoons. 5 dogs. 3 designs. 3 girlfriend designs. 3 years. 2 voice actors. buddy’s legacy comes to a close with buddy the gee man, and what an unmemorable ride it’s been. i don’t hate him as much as i thought i would have, but i don’t nearly like him as much as i would have liked to. some cartoons he’s more insufferable than others (though jackie morrow is cute and does a good voice performance for him, i find something about the voice very unfitting and annoying. maybe i just hate hearing buddy say stuff like “blow your nosey” or speaking in rhyme.) buddy bids us farewell as he works as an undercover detective, investigating happenings at the local sing song prison.

a shot of a door labeled department of justice. a man possesses a letter, which we see is addressed to buddy — “federal agent buddy, 000 1/2 cornbread ave., kansas city, MO” (we know where he lives, boys, let’s get ‘im!). the man deposits the letter into the mail chute, and sure enough buddy opens it up. he’s being sent to conduct a “secret investigation” on the warden at the local sing song prison, investigating the warden’s treatment towards the prisoners. buddy inconspicuously dons the perfect disguise—a mustache. genius! no one will ever know!

buddy dons his trademark captain’s hat as he prepares to embark on his journey. he pulls out a horseshoe in his pocket (which has a nail through one of the pegs, already a lucky sign) and tosses it for luck. luck is promising as the horseshoe shatters a mirror behind him. didn’t your mother ever tell you not to throw horseshoes in the house? flummoxed, buddy scratches his head and shrugs.

what’s an adventure without a faithful dog companion? buddy enlists in his dog gee-man (i’m just going to call him his dog LOL) for help, who’s conveniently donning a sherlock hat and pipe. buddy whispers in his ear, the dog perking up instantly.

a crowd congregates in town as a sea of voices clash against each other. buddy and his dog use a matryoshka of people lined together as stairs to hop straight into the crowd (reused from buddy the gob). elsewhere, a pig asks a hurried frog “what’s all the excitement?” the frog answers “they’re taking machine gun mike to sing song prison!” the voice acting is so bad it’s good. mel’s absence is sorely missed. 2 more years!

we then get a shot of machine gun mike, who’s getting hauled away by the police. aggravated by the attention, he yells at the crowd in an attempt to scare them off. buddy and his dog hitch a ride on the back of the police car, the car exploding a plume of exhaust on a man peeking out from a manhole.

at the prison, a guard is asleep in his lookout tower. he snaps awake once a motorcade of motorcycles escort the convict. buddy and his dog make it safely into the jail.

buddy’s dog sniffs the ground while buddy creeps around, the dynamic duo halting at a door. the door is emblazoned “OTTO B. KINDER — WARDEN”. curious, buddy pokes his head inside the office. the warden paces around his office, scowling. seems his name is prophetic.

some nice music making merriment as a gaggle of prisoners sing “lulu’s back in town” in harmony, because why not? the jail warden is infuriated, slamming his fist down on his desk. instead he sends a tray of papers flying onto his head. he then marches over to the prisoners, shouting at them to be quiet. a lovely billy bletcher bellow. seeing as the prison is literally called sing song prison... 🤔🤔🤔🤔. buddy and his faithful companion observe, buddy scribbling down some notes.

elsewhere, one of the prisoners gossips with machine gun mike, holding out a letter and sneering “get a load of this.” a love letter. machine gun mike grunts “not bad.” a prison guard marches towards the cells, carrying a harpoon gun. at the tip of the harpoon point is a letter, which he gingerly bestowed upon machine gun mike. mike snatches it up. it reads:

“in omitting top name, send that person ten cents (10¢) as a charity donation—is this worth a dime?”

the other jailbird laughs, while mike crumples the letter up and throws it to the ground. overhearing the obnoxious laugh of the prisoner, the warden stalks back to the cells and orders the prisoner to be quiet—billy bletcher shutting up billy bletcher. buddy dutifully jots down more notes. the warden hates singing AND laughing.

in the courtyard, a prisoner slacks off and dinkily taps a rock he’s supposed to be breaking. the warden chews him out, handing him a bigger mallet and demanding he get to work. dutifully, the prisoner swings the mallet behind his head, anticipating a great swing. the mallet smacks the warden in the head and his head sinks into his jacket, a lovely visual as his head pops out of his stomach area, yelling “what’s the idea?” buddy and his pal take more notes, gee-man writing the notes with his tail instead.

machine gun mike plans a not so subtle escape. he stuffs his ball and chain into a cannon, hoping the fire of the cannon will propel him out of the prison. he anticipates the ride... nothing. instead, the CANNON flies backwards. the warden busts mike and snarls “get to work!”

satisfied with his observations, buddy heads to the typewriter to transcribe his report. it reads:

24 pennsylvania ave.

washington, d.c.

dear chief:

inspection completed. recommend change in warden. have some new ideas how prison should be run.

buddy.

time marches on, and a newspaper headline zooms into view, declaring buddy as the new warden of the jail. “BUDDY MADE WARDEN! local boy makes good”

sure enough, buddy greets a receptive crowd of prisoners, asking “is everybody happy?” in the style of ted lewis. the prisoners cheer in unison. quite a turnaround in atmosphere! a shot of the happy go lucky jail—including a few prisoners whacking the old warden on the head with some mallets. corny as that is, i can’t help but love it. buddy even serves ICE CREAM to the prisoners. i suppose that’s what happens when you put a boy in charge of a prison unit, a very funny concept.

the happy prisoners sing while carrying their ice cream, one prisoner receives a shoe shine as buddy offers him a cigar. elsewhere, a man carrying a letter inquired for machine gun mike. he asks two happy prisoners—the sound of a machine gun answers the postman’s question as the prisoners answer “machine gun mike.”

a great, incongruous setup as the machine gun sound is actually revealed to be a jackhammer. machine gun mike blows a cloud of cigar smoke in the face of the hapless mailman, snatching his letter. the letter pardons machine gun mike from his parole, signed by hans cuff. i love my puns, but they definitely feel a bit TOO coy. there are many more clever puns in the looney tunes universe. funnily enough, mike lights the letter with his cigar and continues with his jackhammering.

one last shot of the sleeping jail guard in the lookout tower. he awakens as a crowd barrels through the gates. they all want a slice of buddy’s prison heaven. free ice cream, cigars, shoe shines... who wouldn’t want to be there? buddy pops up over the gate and displays a sign that says “NO VACANCIES”. we iris out one last time on our hero, who takes off his hat and waves it to the crowd.

another “second watch saved my opinion” short. first time i watched this, i found it incoherent and difficult to understand. i think i was so distracted thinking about how this was buddy’s last appearance that i didn’t focus much on the details. it wasn’t bad, though! i think there are definitely worse shorts buddy could have ended his career on. the prisoners were very entertaining and had much more personality than buddy did—the warden and machine gun mike were especially entertaining. nothing too funny, and the puns felt a bit overboard at times, but the animation was decent—i did like the gag of the warden popping his head out of his shirt buttons to yell at one of the prisoners. an above average cartoon that may be worth a watch, just for how absurdly silly it is.

and now, onto buddy. what to say about him? he was definitely as mediocre as i had expected, maybe even moreso. i think jack king had the best repertoire of buddy cartoons. it was interesting to see how buddy progressed, especially thinking of how far we’ve come since buddy’s day out and buddy’s beer garden. i liked buddy’s final design the best—at first i had really liked tom palmer’s design in buddy’s day out, but i think his final design is more suitable, especially for the adventurer persona he adopted later on. jack carr’s voice for buddy fit him better than jackie morrow’s. nothing against jackie, who was a literal child while voicing him. i love that! but i think jack carr’s voice was a good balance between youthful adult and child, like his appearance. buddy definitely came off as more of a child in his last handful of shorts, and was thusly more annoying. i never particularly liked buddy, and sometimes he annoyed me much more than other times, but... his cartoons all blend together. i can’t really discern a particular favorite, and the fact that he only has 23 cartoons amazes me. it felt like 230! however, if anything, he’s intriguing for historical purposes. i can say i’ve seen every buddy cartoon so you don’t have to! beans will take over for his 11 cartoons of fame, tex avery will come into play, and our favorite stuttering porcine will climb up the rungs and really make a splash as 1936 goes on.

that’s all, buddy!

link!

[autistic-council-spectre]

CHARACTERS: abrudas, sparatus, tevos, garrus, and nihlus ;)

gleefully rubs my little paws together Yes A Good Askso much of this got rambly n vaguely weird tho rip i apologize for my entire existence Abrudas:-how I feel about this character: lt valis abrudas is the most beautiful and wonderful turian in canon she could break me in half and id thank her tbqh -all the people I ship romantically with this character: b4 i met saren id probably have shrugged but listen,,,desabrudas is a good ship and now im stuck forever in rarepair hell there is No Escape-my non romantic OTP for this character: mmm saren like u Can't convince me that hanging with des and dating him she Somehow wouldn't become friends and a sister like figure?? lies all of it they r good friends and family especially after everything goes sideways -my unpopular opinion for this character: honestly,,,half the fandom doesn't know she even exists so like (: Fuck can it be that she should have showed up in me3 as a special  edition 2 everything bc honestly -one thing I wish would have happen/had happened with this character in canon: SO MANY OKAY SO MANY BUT LIKE OKAY SO there's this one part in the comics where one of timmys asshole friends says some?? nonsense that's rlly gross an racist+sexist so lol it was Bad and honestly,,, valis should have just fuckin beat him up doesn't matter she was in cuffs she should have torn him a new one tbh fuck him+u can't,,u can't convince me it didn't happen off screen shhSparatus:-how I feel about this character: DOES NOT GET ENOUGH LOVE+DID NOTHING WRONG IN LIFE thank u goodnight -all the people I ship romantically with this character: his lovely wife teia!! they r adorable old birbs and they are in lurve -my non romantic OTP for this character: val + sparatus like canon even agrees they have p similar views tbh?? so i feel like they'd be pretty friendly an pick on the new ppl together an conspire against anderson/udina when they take the council seat -my unpopular opinion for this character: he has done nothing wrong??? ever??? let him sleep??? like ya okay my knee jerk reaction was also wow he's being so mean to shep >:///  but once u use ur thinker u realize that hey!!! u sound bonkers!! and he's literally doing his job so like,,,let him sleep and stop being a dick with the ah yes reapers joke it's old and gross + ALSO PLS DONT SHIP HIM AND SHEP FUCK like that's gross on,,,so many levels,,,i could write u a small essay on the Fuck Ton of reasons why -one thing I wish would have happen/had happened with this character in canon: teia needs to show up so she can smoorch sparatus on the cheek pls he is very stressed+needs some affection bioware where is his beautiful wifeTevos:-how I feel about this character: the Mom Friend tm i love her she's totally the responsible one on the council -all the people I ship romantically with this character: humms honestly her an aria r kinda cute together tbh?? but that's mostly from art ive seen idk much about the ship itself But i do have a lil sorta oc for her that im still working on fleshing out all the way,,i do figure tho she'd be kinda private about it bc of both council stuff+a general preference to keep her private life just that -my non romantic OTP for this character: honestly i kinda feel like tevos and teia would end up being friends and bonding?? like idk why they just seem like they'd make good fronds and go out for cups of coffee after work 2 indulge in lil bits of gossip and general chatting -my unpopular opinion for this character: so everyone is also rlly salty about the thing where she's like yo we can't rlly help you out until you help us and like??? honestly it's understandable that she didn't wanna help the humans out without getting some assistance in return like even ppl in little every day situations do that so like :// can ppl pls let the council do their job got dang -one thing I wish would have happen/had happened with this character in canon: mmm okay so ignore my lack of memory rip but i rlly wish they had explored a bit more about the conspiracy with the matriarchs thing like??? did she know a lot did she not know Did canon explain this and i forgot?? did she like do things willingly or nah?? give me the answers bioware  Garrus:-how I feel about this character: SHAPED LIKE A FRIEND like listen,,he's huge as fuck+could prob kick me across the room on accident but he is shaped like a friend -all the people I ship romantically with this character: i am Really Fucking fond of shakarian honestly, him an tali kinda but some of it feels rlly forced so it's like??? conflicted noises :/ AND SAREN GOT ME TO SHIP HIM AND TASORA send help,, garrus needs more hands 4 his gfs-my non romantic OTP for this character: mm i rlly like the idea of him and wrex and ash all bonding and being friendly?? an getting over their own misgivings of each other and just aaa give it 2 me bioware i need friends bonding -my unpopular opinion for this character: tbh no one seems 2 rlly point out that garrus was also p racist in the beginning too? like everyone likes 2 do the whole Space Racist Ash bit, which is a whole nother thing i could get into rip, and is conveniently quiet when u point out garrus said some fucked up stuff :// like don't get me wrong i luv my boy but like?? he's not a 100% pure cinnamon roll who's done nothing wrong -one thing I wish would have happen/had happened with this character in canon: shrug emoji honestly im p happy with how his stuff went tbh from what im remembering?? i mean i do kinda wish he got more closure for the deaths of his omega squad mates bc i don't rlly remember him getting much??? pls get some help my sonNihlus:-how I feel about this character: yes hi hello i am adorable u should look @my face more often But Seriously i rlly love him?? esp since he basically saw saren “tiny ball of anger and asocial behaviors” arterius and went That One, That One Is My New Best Friend-all the people I ship romantically with this character: my name is nihlus kryik and i!!! am really!!! fucking gay for saren arterius!!! thank you 4 coming to my ted talk -my non romantic OTP for this character: mmmMMM avitus tbh mainly because i remember us Bonding over saren “im going to biotically punch this mech in the face and refuse to see a doctor after for my broken hand” arterius being our mentor and friend-my unpopular opinion for this character: mmm i guess it's less of him as a character and more how the fandom views him But Like??? nihlus isn't scared of saren wtf???? like ya okay sure the initial HOLY SHIT saren arterius is interacting with me?? talking to me?? holyshitholyshit mildly intimidated would have happened but once he got used to him like,,he'd have just accepted sarens mildly odd ways and difficulty in interacting at times and rolled with it + activated Mom Friend Mode tm around him-one thing I wish would have happen/had happened with this character in canon: anyways original canon is a lie and nihlus lived+smooched saren when he saw him at eden prime bc he is a gay nerd who's first response 2 seeing his bf is to do a kiss  

[fishylife]

Thoughts on biopics

I think I’m getting closer to figuring out why biopics grind my gears.

Originally, I thought that memoirs and biopics annoyed me because I didn’t believe that any one person would have a story that would be more interesting than the culmination of many different people’s contributions towards a single thing or event. In other words, I felt that I enjoyed stories about events more than I enjoyed stories that were centered on one person. Perhaps it’s because I thought it was kind of egotistical. 

Real events as entertainment

Today, the thought came to me that we are now consuming the truth as entertainment.

Documentaries are becoming more mainstream, especially on Youtube, where anybody can put together a set of facts or opinions and present them as truth, and audiences will accept them without question (Myself included. In the modern age of convenience, despite acknowledging the importance of checking sources, I often do not when consuming these documentary pieces in large quantities.).

In addition, politics has turned into another form of entertainment. Politicians are turning into celebrities, and it kind of feels like political debates are turning into dramatized versions of themselves. 

Publishing

Before I go on about biopics, let me first talk about memoirs and other similar mainstream non-fiction books. In recent years, a lot of celebrities and widely adored public figures have started publishing their own memoirs. I assume there is demand for this kind of literature, firstly fueled by fans of those figures. However, the act of publishing literature for these mainstream audiences in itself lends to the fact that the literature itself must be entertaining.

In theory, non-fiction should be true first and foremost. Any other qualities of that literature should come secondary to the truth. Perhaps there is no demand for that kind of reading other than by archivists and record keepers, people whose aim is to preserve the truth.

As for memoirs, there are some people who have very unique life experiences and so there is merit to them sharing them because there are commoners like me who would never be able to dream of them, whether it’s something traumatic, or a rags to riches story. I acknowledge this. 

However, there are also cases of people who don’t have lives that are that different from many people’s, and I would think that those people have pressure to spice up their autobiographies to be more entertaining.  

An author would write about things that happened in their life as they were. However, an editor would review the work. If the editor asked them to omit some things, or expand on others, I would consider that still to be within the realm of truth. However, if the editor asked the author to exaggerate or to change details, that is already on the path of distorting the truth. And the editor technically is doing their job. They are trying to help the author write a book that well be interesting to the masses, not an encyclopedic record of events. I was surprised to find Wikipedia had a page on fake memoirs but it goes to show that some people are not above altering the truth to sell a book. 

That being said, biographies and accounts of events written by an “independent” party are not free from bias. It’s just that it’s harder to challenge the lens that those authors are looking through. Since those authors are not the first-hand resources for the content they are writing about, the quality of their research is also a factor, and can also be used as a shield when accused of incorrect facts (though likely not a very strong one).

Controlling your own voice

Recently, I was listening to a segment on The Green Room podcast, which is the podcast hosted by Danny Green from the Toronto Raptors. The guest on that day was Jeremy Lin, who has a production company. What he said really interested me. He realized that if he didn’t use his own voice, someone else would make one for him (relating a lot to him being one a trailblazer as an Asian-American in the NBA). That really sat with me for a while because nowadays, everything is about marketing, or an image, or a brand. There’s no such thing as a completely blank state because apparently everyone has an image or a reputation, regardless of whether it’s one that they created for themselves or one that was imposed on them. 

Biopics

Now back to biopics. I do think that my initial thought stands, that no one person’s story is as interesting as seeing how many people have an effect on a particular event. I always find myself more invested in a story than I do in a main character, so I will stand by that. 

I do think there is a difference between biopics about historical figures who died long ago, and biopics about people who are still alive or only recently died. Let’s say someone like Julius Caesar. If someone were to make a movie about him, I think there would be more acceptance and acknowledgment that the movie would be an interpretation of him, rather than historical fact. As well, there are enough historians who’d be quick to point out inaccuracies, I would think.

The first film based on true events that really made me think was the Social Network. As a movie, it’s entertaining enough. However, every single character in the film is a real person who is alive today. I don’t know how happy they are with the script or the actors that played them. I also don’t know the legalities of doing this, and I have to wonder whether all of them agreed to have themselves portrayed in a film like this. I know that the truth is the ultimate defense to libel or slander lawsuits, but how do you draw the line when it comes to things like movies, where it is supposed to be an entertaining dramatization of true events, but many don’t consider that and take it as fact. 

Now, when we consider writing about people in a “non-fiction” book, the author is sort of taking away the person’s voice from them, adding to their reputation, whether it’s positive or negative. When it comes to biopics, not only does the movie take away the real person’s voice, but also their appearance. I guess it’s stripping someone of their identity in more ways than one. It’s a little disturbing I guess.

Glorification or villainizing

Recently there was debate about the upcoming Ted B*ndy film (I don’t want this post to show up in that tag). It is a movie based on the memoir written by B*ndy’s girlfriend at the time. Of course, it is a very strange and probably frightening experience and I understand why this memoir can both be true and be interesting to some. But for those who read it, I imagine it is important that they first acknowledge that it is truth, before they decide to judge it based on entertainment value (provided that of course the memoir is accurate).

There were concerns that they were casting a good looking actor and glorifying the killer. That is a side effect of the memoir, which was supposed to be an account of true events, being turned into a movie (not a documentary) for mainstream audiences. The reason a good-looking person was cast as this terrible serial killer is because good-looking people are what sell in the entertainment industry. I’m not sure what the producers’ reasons were for turning this memoir into a movie, but that is my comment on the reactions I’ve heard.

Ending

I know I’ve kind of been all over the place here, but this has been nagging at me for a while. 

I usually avoid biopics because I just find a lot of them uninteresting. For a lot of the biopics I’ve watched, the tone is positive, and I suppose that annoyed me because no one in real life is perfect that way. If it was a fictional character being portrayed as perfect, I could live with that and maybe even enjoy it because that is a fictional character. But a lot of biopics might either omit negative information or glorify it.

I admit I’ve never liked reading memoirs, autobiographies, or biographies. One of my favourite podcasters recently released a memoir and despite me being a big fan, I have no interest in reading or buying it. It all comes down to authenticity I suppose. I feel like the book is a packaged version of who he is, whereas the podcast is a more authentic version of the kind of person he is.

I guess that’s a way I could put it. I like authenticity and fiction separate, and dramatized versions of real events toe the line way too much for my comfort, without acknowledging that they do. For example, a lot of movies might say “based on the true story” or “based on the real events.” Many people will assume that means it’s mostly true but literally all it means is that the screenwriters were inspired by something that happened in real life and wrote a story; they didn’t set out to record what happened in real life, they set out to write an entertaining story that just happened to be kickstarted by a spark that the screenwriters got that came from real life. Is that convoluted? I hope not.

Anyway, it’s late, but I just wanted to get this all out. 

[palpablenotion]

David Rose: A Natural if Reluctant Caregiver

There’s a lot special about David Rose. His fashion sense, his sarcasm, his anxiety, his general relation to the concept of friendship. But I think the most subtle of his characteristics is how he takes care of people.

When I was younger, I had this problem with making friends. I’d have friends, sure, but they were friends of convenience. Or, more accurately, I was. When we went to school together, when we sat beside each other, we were friends.

When we didn’t... well.

Even when I had these friends I didn’t feel like I had them. And, though I was poor, I’d spend the little money I had on them. Kira liked frogs, so I bought any random frog knicknack I found. Jessica like vampires, here’s a trashy paranormal romance, Jess. And it took me a long time to realize what I was doing and even longer to force myself to stop.

This is how I see David’s friend history. It’s implied by Alexis several times that he “bought” his friends. He’d pick up the tab at the club. And it’s alluded to, by David, that he simply doesn’t have any until Stevie. But his freak out at the end of season one proved to me that he desperately wants them. Remember couples yoga? When David admitted how lonely he was, he fell right to sleep.

I bring this up because I think his reluctance to take care of people stems from this background. I have a really complicated relation to my generosity, because I’m overly self sacrificing and I think David is too, at heart, but he’s also conditioned himself not to be.

The most blatant example of this is discussed in season 3, when David goes off on Alexis about how things were always easier for her because sure, she was the one being held captive in another prince’s castle, but he was the one at home worrying about her, not sure if she was alright, if she was alive, working with consulates to get her back. Alexis references a lot of these random escapades, of being held captive by varying figures, of being prisoner, of being locked in car trunks. It’s played for a laugh because that’s how Alexis deals with things (every times things get “real” for her, she laughs - she did it when she needed to break up with Ted, when she and Mutt fought, etc). But this scene brings us around to David’s view of these moments. An older brother trying to make sure his baby sister was safe - and he did this time and again, without their parents even knowing any of it was going on.

He’s the first of the Roses to get a job. In fact, he gets a job twice before the others get one at all. (Note: He only lost his first job because of his father, I hold that he’s the only one with actual work ethic as he also held a steady job and kept an apartment in New York).

And when the family needs money, he gives it to them. His money, that he earned.

It might look like he’s reluctant here, too, but I think he is more wanting directness. I’ll help anyone, I really will, but I want them to be direct with what they need. I have too much of a history of unnecessarily doing for others at my own expense. So when his family (or anyone else) beats around the bush, I don’t view David as being ungiving, but rather refusing to put himself out there unnecessarily unless asked directly. (The fact is, his family has let him down a lot, including when he waited 3 days on an Amish farm for them after texting Alexis his location - they didn’t even seem that interested in finding him, assuming he’d show up sooner or later).

He drives his father places when his boss leases him a car. He plans a party for his mother despite being against the entire idea to begin with. He babysits his boss’ step daughter and when she starts her first period, staining his brand new high thread count black and white bedspread (the stain is what makes him realize her situation after she’s run off to the bathroom), he doesn’t get upset that this bed spread has potentially been ruined. His first words are, “It’s okay.” He talks her through it, more or less, gives her something to tie around her waist, and is generally very kind in the face of a very scary situation (my fellow uterus-possessing people know what I’m talking about, right?).

Even the town, which he owns outright as it was a gift to him... even that, he let’s his father have. The one time he puts his foot down it’s for something that’s better for the family anyway - when he pushes and pushes to get his boss a better price for not using the name Blouse Barn and it ends up being such a high number that, despite the initial offer having been for $10,000, she’s able to keep most of the money and gift David with $40,000. David won’t let the family splurge, insisting that the money be saved. It’s his money, but he just naturally categorizes it as family funds. (And then in season three, he allows his parents to just go off and buy a car using thousands of his dollars. They not only go nearly double the budget, but get a ridiculous car, showing they have no concept of expense or responsibility).

And let’s talk about the Blouse Barn for a second. We first see it when he goes there to help Roland pick out something for his wife. And then he gets the job there and to most people it probably looks like he’s just trying to transform the place into some pretentious New York boutique, but he’s apparently making his boss enough money that she feels it’s feasible to lease him a car. He seems to care about the place he’s helping her build and also lends his boss support when he can. He might need to be asked outright - like with the babysitting thing - but he’ll do it if asked outright (he could refuse, but he basically never does when asked directly).

And when they come after Blouse Barn’s name, David is made uneasy by their offer. He asks for help, guidance, advice which he NEVER does. And his father basically says, “Take the money and be happy that’s a lot for this podunk place.” But that isn’t good enough for David. He asks Alexis and she insists on being in on the negotiation - she’s no help. But David had spent a lot o time thinking about this, researching the Australian Blouse Barn, and feeling uneasy. So when they enter negotiations, he insists that the Australian chain can afford more. And they can. By this point, he’d already been fired. But he gets his boss a fair amount to have to change her name and a generous amount on top of that, enough that she’s closing the store for the foreseeable future and writes him a $40,000 check.

Perhaps the best example, if not so blatant, is Stevie. And she’s the best example because she’s David’s friend. His only friend. He does for her when he can, makes gestures such as letting her bring anyone to game night - when it was obviously very important to him - helping her clean a dirty hotel room, allowing her access to his clothing (which he treats as sacred, and his). And when she tells him she doesn’t need help with her Great Aunt’s passing, he insists, because he knows she does.

David isn’t perfect. There’s plenty wrong with him. But he’s also so damn caring if you ignore what he presents on the surface for five minutes.

[unfortunatelycake]

Boueibu ship headcanons (pt1)

Was waffling over boueibu ship headcanons with @sothisiswhyiamhere a while back. Typed them up whilst procrastinating over Other Things today.

It got long, so I split it up, and I tried to do it in a vaguely logical order (by ship-name, kinda) so this first part is quite En-centric. Also just s1 main 8...

Also, I massively headcanon Yumoto as being an adorable fluffy ball of asexual awesomeness, which totally colours these shipping HCs!

(part 2 is here)

EnAtsu

The mom and dad duo. They love each other despite their faults; En is the laid back influence that Atsushi needs, whilst Atsushi is the reason En gets out of bed in the morning.

Problems arise when: En is a little too lazy and Atsushi internalises all the little annoyances without saying anything about them, and eventually explodes over something stupid.

EnIo

Polar opposites when it comes to working, but Io appreciates En's smarts. En likes to chill out at Io's place because Io doesn't expect anything of him: Io can get on with his stock trading whilst En naps, and they have their Private Time together once the markets have closed for the evening.

Problems arise when: En wants snacks and is too lazy to get them, but like hell is Io gonna be his butler, and when Io is too busy with trading to pay En any attention

EnRyuu

If Bill and Ted were gay, they would be these two. They'd probably live together, their apartment would be trendy (Ryuu's influence) but also a mess (partly En, partly because they can't be assed with tidying). They'd probably eat out a lot, so technically would go on lots of dates, but wouldn't really specifically go on dates.

Problems arise when: Ryuu wants some kind of high-octane excitement when En would rather just loaf around, and they'd likely end up arguing over Who Puts More Into The Relationship (Ryuu. The answer is Ryuu.)

EnYu

This would be a relationship filled with cuddles, and food, and not much else. If not for Gora popping by with home-cooked dishes, they'd probably live off sweets and convenience store snacks. There wouldn't be much in the way of physical intimacy because Yumoto just likes to cuddle (5ever headcanon for ace Yumoto) which is fine with En, who likes to sleep.

Problems arise when: En is too lethargic to put up with Yumoto's energy levels and Yumoto is too cheerfully oblivious and ends up being snapped at.

EnKin

Kinshiro is a man who likes peace and quiet, which suits En's desire for naptime. En would tease Kinshiro a lot, though not unkindly, which would gradually pry open the closed box that is Kinshiro. Kinshiro in turn would encourage more of the responsibility that he knows En is capable of.

Problems arise when: Kinshirou gets too uptight and internalises everything that annoys him, but (unlike Atsushi, who would eventually explode) doesn't say anything. Just keeps internalising. Also when En pushes the teasing too far.

EnIbu

A lazy dude and his polite and well-bred butler, who is used to being around livelier guys and therefore glad of the rest, thank you very much. En would enjoy being fussed over because Ibushi fixes refreshments pretty much automatically, and Ibushi totally enjoys sitting around grumbling about things with En. Their sex life is pretty satisfying, though there are the occasional noise complaints from the neighbours.

Problems arise when: En gets into one of his 100% Lethargic moods and doesn't even want to move. Also when Ibushi gets snarky over people En cares about. It's funny, and it's true, but they're En's buddies, so back off.

EnAko

Less of a relationship and more a fling based on little more than physical pleasure. Akoya is a total power bottom, and En likes it when he isn't expected to know what to do. At the same time, they both get a kick out of it on the rare occasion that En takes charge, at which point Akoya meekly plays along.

Problems arise when: En proves himself incapable of staying tidy for more than five minutes. They try to date, and Akoya knows damn well that En could look hot if he made the effort, but En is too set in his ways. Likewise, En doesn't know why Akoya is so obsessed with looking 'perfect' all the time, and thinks he looks great when he's all red-faced and dishevelled. Ultimately they drive each other insane and end up unable to stay in the same room without snarking at each other (which sometimes leads to an impromptu fumble in the nearest closet).

AtsuIo

A pair of serious guys who are low-key bitchy, they have a bit of a mom-and-rich-toyboy kind of rapport. Atsushi makes sure Io eats lots of tasty things, and Io manages to budget their groceries in a way that gives Atsushi leeway to do a lot of experimentation in the kitchen. Probably one of the most normal relationships ever.

Problems arise when: they both fail at communicating their needs, Atsushi being too considerate and Io being too introverted to do that Talking Thing.  

AtsuRyuu

Ryuu would take the lead despite being the younger of the pair, and would spend a lot of time flirting because he loves seeing Atsushi blush. He'd encourage Atsushi to throw caution to the wind every so often, whilst Atsushi would be the one to show Ryuu that it's important to knuckle down and do some serious work from time to time. Ryuu would rather have fun, but Atsushi knows exactly how to bend Ryuu to his will and therefore offers 'rewards' if Ryuu gets on with the boring stuff like chores and paying bills. They go on lots of little dates, though would go on lots more of Atsushi wasn't so worried about his everyday responsibilities.

Problems arise when: Ryuu can't curb his habit of flirting with everyone. It makes Atsushi insecure, and nothing Ryuu says can entirely reassure him that Ryuu won't cheat.

AtsuYu

More cuddling! Yumoto would be crazy for Atsushi's food, and Atsushi would love cooking it for him, happy that it was so well appreciated. Though Atsushi is a serious soul, Yumoto would encourage him to be more spontaneous and chill out a bit.

Problems arise when: They realise that beyond cuddles and a few sloppy kisses, their relationship isn't going to progress into anything deeper. Yumoto wants Atsushi to be happy, but won't compromise the ace wonder that he is in order to do that, especially after they make a half-hearted try that just...doesn't go anywhere. They decide that they're better off as friends, but are a lot closer than before.

AtsuIbu

These two would probably get together due to their mutual protectiveness of Kinshiro. They're a real pair of sinnamon rolls: an outwardly polite yet snarky couple who are absolutely savage in their judgements. They bring out the best and the worst in each other; Ibushi encourages Atsushi's snarkiness and fully enjoys being treated as an equal (for a change). Atsushi meanwhile dotes on Ibushi and likes how much Ibushi appreciates being spoilt. Though Atsushi is normally in charge of food, Ibushi likes to bring him tea and treats, and they sometimes cook together. In bed, Atsushi finally finds his chill and lets Ibushi take control.

Problems arise when: They both have a 'tired-of-waiting-on-people' day on the same day. Also when their affectionate snark at each other cuts a little too deep.

AtsuAko

A total will-they-won't-they affair that takes a while to get off the ground. After some rather passive flirting, they'd get together after Akoya gets tired of The Chase, and questions (whilst draping himself over Atsushi's desk) "So are you going to ask me out or not?" Atsushi would be too surprised to have a comeback, and his stuttered 'Yes' would lead to them going on a date, probably in an uncomfortably expensive restaurant because Akoya would expect no less.

Problems arise when: they go on their first date, because Atsushi spends an entire month's allowance on one course, and Akoya isn't amenable to any of his suggestions that cost nothing. Also when Akoya Wants Attention but Atsushi is spending time with his friends.

IoRyuu

Romantic, adventurous, stylish, attractive, rich and stable: Io and Ryuu are two complimentary halves of the Ideal Boyfriend. Ryuu's energy is just at the right level for Io: enough to excite and motivate him into being spontaneous, but not so much that Ryuu becomes overbearing. Io meanwhile gives Ryuu the stability he craves: a constant boyfriend who cares about him for his playfulness and his personality, not just his looks. They joke about Io being Ryuu's sugar daddy, but Ryuu doesn't care about Io's money, he cares about Io himself. They both admire and respect each other a lot for their opposing skills, and over time learn a little of them from each other.

Problems arise when: They argue over who is more awesome. It's one point they can never agree on, and it takes the combined efforts of the Defence Club and the Student Council (who will have peace in their school kthx) to get them to make up.

IoYu

Yumoto would get Io to take a break from his trading now and then, whilst Io would probably get tired of Yumoto having no money, and do something to turn his 500 yen pocket money into 500,000 yen in a Cayman Islands bank account, purely because he's concerned about Yumoto is going to do in future if he has no money behind him. Yumoto would thank him with a million cuddles, though would likely not understand half of what Io had just told him, only the fact that he has more money now. Somewhere.

Problems arise when: Yumoto becomes too overbearing with his cuddling when Io is trying to work, and Io is too cold towards Yumoto because he's waiting for the perfect moment to snap up some bargain price shares.

IoKin

A relationship that seems like an arranged marriage at first--beginning as a mere business alliance formed for mutual profit (Kinshiro's contacts and Io's financial savviness equal one hell of a profit). But their respect of each other's work ethic goes deeper, and through working side by side they find they actually like each other. They're a quiet couple and fairly inactive on the dating front, as they both work hard, but they're also both competitive so their sundays (when the offices and FX are closed) usually begin with an intense game of squash, or a jog around a park that becomes more like a race. This lifestyle suits them both, as they can stay fit and healthy whilst keeping up with work. Affection and intimacy tend to happen as a second thought; neither are particularly displeased by it, but their emotional distance does make the occasional moment of romance feel extra special

Problems arise when: they're both too busy working to actually pay attention to each other, and when they clash over decisions--both want to be in control.

IoIbu

A rich man and his eye-candy butler. Ibushi is eager to please the people he cares for, and Io takes as much advantage of that as possible. However, Ibushi knows where to draw the line, and will make Io work for his favours (be they sexual or otherwise) if he feels Io isn't giving back as much as he's taking. In general, Ibushi is content to leave Io to his stocks, but is capable of peeling him away from the screen now and again for some aforementioned 'favours'. Io has lost a few good deals that way, but Ibushi has always made it more than worth it.

Problems arise when: Ibushi walks around shirtless and distracts Io, leading to Io missing out on some trading. This usually happens with Io has been too sidetracked to pay Ibushi much attention, and has been treating him more like a butler than a boyfriend.

[1 / 2]

[deanknowsstuff]

Hallelujah and TED Together Prior Your Life Style!

Eating a weight loss program of generally uncooked plant-primarily based totally absolutely honestly meals can be the Holy Grail of weight loss. At least that’s consistent with the Rev. George Malkmus and his wife, Rhonda, who advanced the biblically stimulated Hallelujah Diet. Malkmus claims his extrude to a weight loss program of uncooked fruits, vegetables, and carrot juice stored his existence after a most cancers assessment greater than 35 years ago. The Hallelujah Diet includes 85% uncooked and unprocessed plant-primarily based totally absolutely honestly meals and 15% cooked plant-primarily based totally absolutely honestly meals. Why? The authors declare that meat can “get trapped” in our device, dispose of elimination, and cause toxicity and illness. The cornerstone of this device is the notion that ingesting uncooked meals is the awesome manner to get the vitamins you want, repair broken cells, and feature long-lasting fitness. How you consume is as essential as what you consume in this vegan weight loss program. The Hallelujah Diet recommends juicing clean vegetables (in particular greens) and fruits. Supplements, to be had from determine organization Hallelujah Acres, also are endorsed to assist meet your dietary needs.  

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Advance Business Development Coaching

New Post has been published on https://personalcoachingcenter.com/advance-business-development-coaching/

Advance Business Development Coaching

Business development and Marketing

Before I came to Amsterdam to study Business and Economics, I worked in a bank in my hometown, Munich and I left his Bank for one particular reason, because even though the people there earn sufficient amounts of money, they all seemed dissatisfied with their life.

They were frustrated with their career opportunities, they were unhappy with their relationships and they were constantly stressed out, but these people – they all had one thing in common – they did not want to change it and even outside of the bank.

I kept on meeting people who were unhappy with their lives but unwilling to change them, and every time these people saw somebody who had a great relationship who was happy with his job or who sees the great opportunity and was successful.

Most people just said that this person was at the right time at the right spot and got lucky. We all know it right. However, when you study marketing, you realize pretty quickly that products are always at the right time at the right spot.

So at this point I started looking at my marketing book in a different way. Instead of learning for my exams or learning in order to help a company, I started learning for myself. I looked at, I thought.

How can I learn from this? What can I learn from these techniques and I came up with an idea worth spreading now I need a one year. I’m gonna present some theories now and if you’re expecting life-changing knowledge from these Furies.

I’m, sorry to let you down, but if you’re guessing that these theories are like empty jars, you need to fill with your own knowledge and your own insight. You’re, an outstanding guesser. So if you study marketing, you’re, not a stranger to this for blocks.

They call the four PS and four C’s of business development and marketing. The 4Ps Marketing Mix is a business oriented model, which includes product, price, promotion and place. The newer 4Cs of marketing model was meant to be a more consumer-orientated version. It includes Consumer, Cost, Communication and Convenience.

The 4C’s focuses the marketer on targeting niches rather than mass markets. Then these need to be the foundation of your business development, marketing, and every product lunch. No product enters the market without filling these four blocks. And tonight we’re, going to launch you, so the first one is the product in the customer needs the product.

Are you yourself and all the capabilities? You have, and the customer needs are the needs of the people you need for your success and your product has to match these needs. However, customer needs are something really tricky, because something else does your unstated secret need, and tonight I guess this unstated secret need is that you want to go home at the end of the day.

Now these uncertainties are really hard to find and if you find the secret needs, you can be sure that you have a massive competitive advantage, but I can tell you what they are. You have to find it yourself and the only advice I can give you on this is never ever ever.

Try googling them. There are secret needs. You don’t want to know about now. Your product has to meet the customers needs and most of the time when you do it for the first time, you will realize that it doesn’t, but don’t.

Be sad about it, because the process is called R & amp D, which stands for research and development and not research and depression. Even though you realize that your product doesn’t meet the customer needs, you can still develop it’s.

Never too late for personal development, my grandpa is 83 years old and he’s. Learning English right now, just so, he can watch this video. What’s? Your Excuse now? Who, in this room ever wanted to be a rockstar or famous DJ, that’s, quite a lot right and why shouldn’t you if somebody would come up with a contract and won’t me ask me: you want To sign up to be a rockstar, I would take it immediately all the fame and fortune fast cars giving concerts in front of 100,000 people.

That would be great, but that’s. Just half of the story, because who in this audience actually is a rockstar and the reason why so many people fail to become a rockstar it’s. The same reason why I never became one because when I started playing guitar at the age of 16, this man was my idol.

His name is John Butler here at his own TED talk in Sydney and he started playing at the age of 16 as well. Now, how did John Butler become an outstanding guitar player and I didn’t. It’s because he dedicated himself to it well played once or twice a week.

He played every free minute. Well, I was too shy to play in front of people. He went out busking in the streets and while I played it safe and went to university, he quit University just to pursue a career in music.

Now I’m, not trying to inspire anybody to quit the university right away and just go out busking in the streets, but next time you see somebody successful ask yourself: what are his costs? Because this didn’t come for free? There must be some costs behind it and then ask yourselves: would you be willing to pay it because when people are told about the countless hours of practice the endurance needed and the risks involved in becoming a rock star, most of them don’t want to do it anymore.

But if it still sounds tempting to you, you should go for it now, after figuring out your product, your customer needs your price, your costs, it’s time to think about how to let people know you’Re out there, because life is just basically like a big supermarket in a big supermarket.

People are exposed to 300 products per minute, and this little girl could be your customer. She could be anybody, your future boss, or even your wife, and all these products around her. Okay, I know you for 20 years, but all these products around her are potential future husbands, just like you.

How should she know for which one to stop take it out of the shelf and put it in a shopping cart. We have a product, we have a concept for this as well, it’s called Aida, and it has nothing to do with this boat company Aida stands for attention, interest, desire and action.

So the first thing you need to do to be successful in business development or marketing is grab the customers attention. You can do that with anything. It could be a smile. When you’re enter into the room, it could be a nice hat, a flashy outfit or you can simply stand on the red carpet on the stage right in front of them.

Once you grab the attention, you need to create an interest within them. So that happens by displaying the attributes you thought about which they want and because you thought about it, this attributes create create a desire in them because their ex you’re, exactly what they need and that ultimately leads to the action part.

It sounds a bit weird when talking about dating may be better with products, but it’s really essential, because in the market, as well as in life, it’s, not the product which is the best which gets sold the most.

But it’s, the best promoted product which gets sold the most and now you can go for all these steps and still fail simply because people don’t know where to buy you. They don’t know where to find you.

This applies to every single life situation, but in my case I just really like the dating example. So we’re, going say with that. So when I was 16 in Germany, that’s, the age when you’re allowed to go out drinking.

So I went to nightclubs with my friend also because we thought that is the prime ik place to meet women now. Were we successful at meeting women at nightclubs? No, were they even a realistic chance for us to meet women at nightclubs? Not at all? Why not? Only because of this, this could have worked.

It’s because an average German nightclub there’s, 80 % men and 20 % women there’s, a massive oversupply of men, which leads to greater competition, less success. Now I still manage to solve this problem.

I wish I could tell you oh yeah, i enhance my product and I went out into them or not that’s, not what happened. What happened was that I simply positioned myself differently. To be honest, my mother positioned me differently because she signed me up for standard dancing, lessons that was the reaction of my friends as well, but after one hour of standard dancing, I was not even mad anymore because from an economic perspective that was amazing, there was A room full of women such an oversupply, such a high demand for a guy like me, so little men, so a little supply.

It was like a supermarket with more customers and products. That was great. I went overnight from being a free in the club to a 9:00 at dancing, or maybe a 7, but still improvement. So what we can learn from this is that sometimes you need to consider all the options, because sometimes the place, which is the most obvious to meet your customers, is not the place where they need you.

After filling out all these four boxes there’s, one major question left for tonight: why do people when we can analyze our situation and position us in the market would attribute sex they? Why would they attribute success solely to luck and the answer for is this? We tell ourselves that other people are lucky for the same reason.

We take a pill when we have a weight problem or we drug our children. When you’re hyperactive, we have a problem and we’re looking for a solution, and this one is easy: it’s fast and it’s effortless, but it’s also a dead-end because Rather than tackling the root of our set as dissatisfaction the cause of our problems, we just swallow a lock pill and number selves to all the symptoms.

But will this luck pill? We also number selves to all the great opportunities this world has to offer and we constrain ourselves in developing our personal best. I was at this point when I was in the bank.

I was just as dissatisfied as all my colleagues, but I didn’t swallow the luck pill. What I would in was, I analyzed. What am I good at? I positioned myself differently. I moved to answer then to enhance my product.

You’re unhappy with your relationships. You don’t like where your life is going or you simply feel like your life. Could be so much better, you have two options. You can either swallow the lock pill and go on with business as usual, or it can analyze your situation, take action and truly change the game.

Source : Youtube

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Advance Business Development Coaching

New Post has been published on https://personalcoachingcenter.com/advance-business-development-coaching/

Advance Business Development Coaching

Business development and Marketing

Before I came to Amsterdam to study Business and Economics, I worked in a bank in my hometown, Munich and I left his Bank for one particular reason, because even though the people there earn sufficient amounts of money, they all seemed dissatisfied with their life.

They were frustrated with their career opportunities, they were unhappy with their relationships and they were constantly stressed out, but these people – they all had one thing in common – they did not want to change it and even outside of the bank.

I kept on meeting people who were unhappy with their lives but unwilling to change them, and every time these people saw somebody who had a great relationship who was happy with his job or who sees the great opportunity and was successful.

Most people just said that this person was at the right time at the right spot and got lucky. We all know it right. However, when you study marketing, you realize pretty quickly that products are always at the right time at the right spot.

So at this point I started looking at my marketing book in a different way. Instead of learning for my exams or learning in order to help a company, I started learning for myself. I looked at, I thought.

How can I learn from this? What can I learn from these techniques and I came up with an idea worth spreading now I need a one year. I’m gonna present some theories now and if you’re expecting life-changing knowledge from these Furies.

I’m, sorry to let you down, but if you’re guessing that these theories are like empty jars, you need to fill with your own knowledge and your own insight. You’re, an outstanding guesser. So if you study marketing, you’re, not a stranger to this for blocks.

They call the four PS and four C’s of business development and marketing. The 4Ps Marketing Mix is a business oriented model, which includes product, price, promotion and place. The newer 4Cs of marketing model was meant to be a more consumer-orientated version. It includes Consumer, Cost, Communication and Convenience.

The 4C’s focuses the marketer on targeting niches rather than mass markets. Then these need to be the foundation of your business development, marketing, and every product lunch. No product enters the market without filling these four blocks. And tonight we’re, going to launch you, so the first one is the product in the customer needs the product.

Are you yourself and all the capabilities? You have, and the customer needs are the needs of the people you need for your success and your product has to match these needs. However, customer needs are something really tricky, because something else does your unstated secret need, and tonight I guess this unstated secret need is that you want to go home at the end of the day.

Now these uncertainties are really hard to find and if you find the secret needs, you can be sure that you have a massive competitive advantage, but I can tell you what they are. You have to find it yourself and the only advice I can give you on this is never ever ever.

Try googling them. There are secret needs. You don’t want to know about now. Your product has to meet the customers needs and most of the time when you do it for the first time, you will realize that it doesn’t, but don’t.

Be sad about it, because the process is called R & amp D, which stands for research and development and not research and depression. Even though you realize that your product doesn’t meet the customer needs, you can still develop it’s.

Never too late for personal development, my grandpa is 83 years old and he’s. Learning English right now, just so, he can watch this video. What’s? Your Excuse now? Who, in this room ever wanted to be a rockstar or famous DJ, that’s, quite a lot right and why shouldn’t you if somebody would come up with a contract and won’t me ask me: you want To sign up to be a rockstar, I would take it immediately all the fame and fortune fast cars giving concerts in front of 100,000 people.

That would be great, but that’s. Just half of the story, because who in this audience actually is a rockstar and the reason why so many people fail to become a rockstar it’s. The same reason why I never became one because when I started playing guitar at the age of 16, this man was my idol.

His name is John Butler here at his own TED talk in Sydney and he started playing at the age of 16 as well. Now, how did John Butler become an outstanding guitar player and I didn’t. It’s because he dedicated himself to it well played once or twice a week.

He played every free minute. Well, I was too shy to play in front of people. He went out busking in the streets and while I played it safe and went to university, he quit University just to pursue a career in music.

Now I’m, not trying to inspire anybody to quit the university right away and just go out busking in the streets, but next time you see somebody successful ask yourself: what are his costs? Because this didn’t come for free? There must be some costs behind it and then ask yourselves: would you be willing to pay it because when people are told about the countless hours of practice the endurance needed and the risks involved in becoming a rock star, most of them don’t want to do it anymore.

But if it still sounds tempting to you, you should go for it now, after figuring out your product, your customer needs your price, your costs, it’s time to think about how to let people know you’Re out there, because life is just basically like a big supermarket in a big supermarket.

People are exposed to 300 products per minute, and this little girl could be your customer. She could be anybody, your future boss, or even your wife, and all these products around her. Okay, I know you for 20 years, but all these products around her are potential future husbands, just like you.

How should she know for which one to stop take it out of the shelf and put it in a shopping cart. We have a product, we have a concept for this as well, it’s called Aida, and it has nothing to do with this boat company Aida stands for attention, interest, desire and action.

So the first thing you need to do to be successful in business development or marketing is grab the customers attention. You can do that with anything. It could be a smile. When you’re enter into the room, it could be a nice hat, a flashy outfit or you can simply stand on the red carpet on the stage right in front of them.

Once you grab the attention, you need to create an interest within them. So that happens by displaying the attributes you thought about which they want and because you thought about it, this attributes create create a desire in them because their ex you’re, exactly what they need and that ultimately leads to the action part.

It sounds a bit weird when talking about dating may be better with products, but it’s really essential, because in the market, as well as in life, it’s, not the product which is the best which gets sold the most.

But it’s, the best promoted product which gets sold the most and now you can go for all these steps and still fail simply because people don’t know where to buy you. They don’t know where to find you.

This applies to every single life situation, but in my case I just really like the dating example. So we’re, going say with that. So when I was 16 in Germany, that’s, the age when you’re allowed to go out drinking.

So I went to nightclubs with my friend also because we thought that is the prime ik place to meet women now. Were we successful at meeting women at nightclubs? No, were they even a realistic chance for us to meet women at nightclubs? Not at all? Why not? Only because of this, this could have worked.

It’s because an average German nightclub there’s, 80 % men and 20 % women there’s, a massive oversupply of men, which leads to greater competition, less success. Now I still manage to solve this problem.

I wish I could tell you oh yeah, i enhance my product and I went out into them or not that’s, not what happened. What happened was that I simply positioned myself differently. To be honest, my mother positioned me differently because she signed me up for standard dancing, lessons that was the reaction of my friends as well, but after one hour of standard dancing, I was not even mad anymore because from an economic perspective that was amazing, there was A room full of women such an oversupply, such a high demand for a guy like me, so little men, so a little supply.

It was like a supermarket with more customers and products. That was great. I went overnight from being a free in the club to a 9:00 at dancing, or maybe a 7, but still improvement. So what we can learn from this is that sometimes you need to consider all the options, because sometimes the place, which is the most obvious to meet your customers, is not the place where they need you.

After filling out all these four boxes there’s, one major question left for tonight: why do people when we can analyze our situation and position us in the market would attribute sex they? Why would they attribute success solely to luck and the answer for is this? We tell ourselves that other people are lucky for the same reason.

We take a pill when we have a weight problem or we drug our children. When you’re hyperactive, we have a problem and we’re looking for a solution, and this one is easy: it’s fast and it’s effortless, but it’s also a dead-end because Rather than tackling the root of our set as dissatisfaction the cause of our problems, we just swallow a lock pill and number selves to all the symptoms.

But will this luck pill? We also number selves to all the great opportunities this world has to offer and we constrain ourselves in developing our personal best. I was at this point when I was in the bank.

I was just as dissatisfied as all my colleagues, but I didn’t swallow the luck pill. What I would in was, I analyzed. What am I good at? I positioned myself differently. I moved to answer then to enhance my product.

You’re unhappy with your relationships. You don’t like where your life is going or you simply feel like your life. Could be so much better, you have two options. You can either swallow the lock pill and go on with business as usual, or it can analyze your situation, take action and truly change the game.

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Life Update: End of the Baby Era

A fleeting break from tradition with this life update because I’m going to be talking mostly about me. My favourite subject. (Joke: I hate talking about myself unless I’ve had too much wine. In fact, I tend to stop people in their tracks when they try to ask me what I do for a living – I usually tell them that I work with computers and they are too bored to ask more!)

I’m talking mostly about me because I feel as though I’m at a weird old juncture in my life, one that has me wondering who the hell I am and what an earth I’m going to do next. I think that shopping for Angelica’s school uniform triggered it all off, this sense of being a bit lost and wondering about what the future holds, but in fact it’s a strange feeling that’s been bubbling away beneath the surface ever since we made the big move to Somerset.

I think it stems from being the sort of person that always has to be doing something, planning the Next Big Thing, working on a project, being so busy that I live in a state of perpetual low-key chaos and stress. Having two babies quite close together (18 months apart, not planned that way!) has been the most intense time imaginable, especially with work being the most busy it has ever been, and I think I worry that when school starts in September, and Ted starts a few mornings at nursery, I won’t quite know what to do with the extra time.

Actually that’s a lie; if I was entirely honest, my problem with September and the new starts is that I am forced to evaluate the era that is just about to come to a close. The baby era. I find myself tentatively asking myself how did I do? Could I have done better? In those rare moments of quiet, when I just sit and mull things over, I wonder whether I worked too much or should have worked more, whether I should have pulled in more help to save my sanity or turned down more jobs in order to be a completely full time Mum. I tick off the things I didn’t do: I haven’t taken them swimming once. I didn’t make gingerbread with them and get it all over the floor. I didn’t get enough photos of me with babies perched on my hip, or me asleep in a tangled nest of sheets with a newborn spreadeagled on top of my chest. I ask myself whether I was ever really present, in the moment, because I really can’t remember much at all.

I could do a huge list of the things we have done, including almost daily trips to the zoo and adventure park, walks with the dog, holidays in the car to Cornwall and Devon and London and Dorset, crazy chases around the house every afternoon (it’s a great house for running and hiding), discos, picnics, dressing up, shop games, hotel games, vet games, hospital games, early wake-ups every morning, drawn-out bedtimes every night, middle-of-the-night cuddling sessions, countless dribbles of Calpol over the bedsheets, endless tense exchanges between the adults as to where the in-ear thermometer is and who had it last…

I’ve been away from home for less than 2.5 percent of the time I’ve been a Mum, but I still fret that I could have done better and that I would do it better if I did it all over again. Maybe that’s why some people have another baby (I’m not, don’t get excited!), because there’s always the feeling that next time you will finally get it right.

Well. That was borderline depressing wasn’t it? Sorry about that! I don’t actively regret any part of what I did during the baby stage, I’m just sad that it’s pretty much over. It’s like a klaxon has sounded to tell me my time is up.

“FNARRRRRRR! Put down the flour, mothers! You’re about to make homemade play-dough, or bake cookies for the first time, but it’s TOO BLOODY LATE! You want to take them for a walk instead of plonking them down in front of Peppa Pig so that you can print, sign and scan the mortgage documents in peace? TOO LATE! They’re old enough to just amuse themselves anyway! They don’t need you anymore and they wouldn’t go on a walk with you anyway unless you bribe them with sweets! FNARRRRRRR!”

Talking of bribery, Angelica has cottoned on to the whole you-scratch-my-back-I’ll-scratch-yours system remarkably well. Maybe she will grow up to be a negotiator. Or a politician. (God.) Either way, she knows the value of her cooperation, especially when Ted is kicking off about his apple not being cut in the correct manner (ie: not cut up at all, he likes them whole, but he carries the bloody thing about for an hour and the dog almost always ends up getting it off him so I usually try to make him eat it chopped up in a bowl and he hates it) and there are two things that she has firmly planted on her demands list: games on the iPhone and sweets from Daddy’s retro sweet shop box.

Mr AMR got a huge box of sweets for his birthday last month and they’re all retro chews and sherbet dips and so on from the seventies and eighties – Angelica is obsessed. It’s like another world, one where Pom Bears and organic dried apple rings don’t exist. The games on the iPhone thing has had to be curbed, for the moment, because she got really into playing on these Toca Boca apps that let you play at being a vet or a train driver or a doctor. They’re a bit like Sims but for toddlers and she gets really immersed, carrying supplies through the hospital and visiting the patients and feeding them their lunch. She started waking up early just so she could ask to play on my phone, so that has been nipped in the bud. The phone games started as a lazy thing because I could go back to sleep for half an hour and she just carried out her doctor rounds, probably doing things like administering morphine and delivering tricky babies and amputating gangrenous legs using a selection of power tools. But the games are no more. It’s too early. Both in the day and in life.

I say that officially, in case Mr AMR is reading, but unofficially I let her play at grooming the Toca Boca horses last night when I was trying to wrestle Ted into his back-to-front Gro Bag and stop him from throwing his mattress out of the cot.

Ted has become Hulk Ted Smash over the course of the last month. Not only does he thrash about in his sleep, knocking into the bars of the cot so that it sounds as though a minotaur is trying to ride through the wall of the house, he likes to dismantle his sleeping arrangements over and over again between the hours of 7 and 9pm. It used to be that he stripped himself, did a wee on the mattress and then called for help, but now he is trapped in his back-to-front sleeping bag (thanks for that tip, readers!) and can’t unzip it, so he amuses himself by taking off the sheets and folding the mattress in half (actually quite a phenomenally difficult thing to achieve) and then sticking both legs through the bottom slats. Before calling for help.

Whoo, bedtimes are still the most testing time of the day. I think (still) that it’s because you really feel as though you’re finally owed a bit of a bloody break, thanks very much, and your brain sees 7pm (or whatever time, 5pm would be idea, hohoho) as the cut-and-dry deadline for any child-related shenanigans. The other night, when Ted was still going at it with his mattress-bending at 9.15pm I ended up bellowing this is Mummy’s time now! I’m not available! 

He just stared at me blankly and said, “ham?”

Ted is saying “ham” a lot at the moment. I have no idea why, other than that he really likes ham. But the more he says it, especially in answer to completely unrelated questions, the more we all laugh and the more he thinks it’s funny. He’s chatting away like the clappers, now, and if I read a story to him he copies every single word. Which is sweet, but at the same time it makes it really hard to read – it’s like having an echo that makes no sense.

In other news, Ted did something the other day that was both highly convenient and potentially disastrous, all at the same time. I knew something was up because things had gone quiet in the living room and then, when I called him, he said “coming Mama!” and arrived in the kitchen holding his (very full) nappy between forefinger and thumb. He had done a poo, carefully taken off the nappy pants and walked to the kitchen without dropping any of the poo onto the floor. To be frank, it’s almost more than I can do and I’m thirty-six years older than him. Not that I wear nappy pants, you understand.

Oh God, I must dash! Angelica has had her taster morning at school and I’ve just realised that the time they’ve said to pick up is actually the time when they’ll be coming out of the gates! Not like in nursery when you just saunter in between x time and y time and everyone’s all chilled out and “here’s a painting with some twigs and dirty feathers glued to it, it’s a duck, yes that’s an acorn representing its one eye”. I have a drawer full of those paintings. Ah, such excruciatingly happy days, tinged with such anxiety that time keeps flying by too fast! Why is being a parent such a bloody emotional rollercoaster?

The post Life Update: End of the Baby Era appeared first on A Model Recommends.

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Dr. Daves Field Guide to Bad Cocktails

If the idea of sitting in a dark, elegant bar, lapping at a small, icy pool whose waters have a way of smoothing the furrows in your brow and oiling the trunnions of your tongue appeals to you, then as dark as these times may be there is at least one recompense. It is now possible to get a perfect cocktail, or close enough, in every city in America. Ten years ago, it was not. That is a positive good, then, and sometimes a very positive one indeed.

But it doesnt always go that way, though, does it? You do your part OKgetting to the bar, finding a seat, putting your damn phone away, ordering a drink, looking expectantand the bartender does a stylish job of picking bottles, measuring and mixing, and pours your drink into a steaming-cold glass with a precise, crisp flourish. Then you take a sip. Oh no. The drinks list billed this Transitive Nightfall of Diamonds as a subtly-accented take on the classic Dry Martini. What you got instead is potpourri-tasting gin, cilantro-infused vermouth and aggressive splashes of bitter gentian aperitif and crme de violette, with a huge swatch of bergamot peel squeezed over the top. It smells like Victorian hand soap. It tastes like Victorian hand soap. It costs $15, before tip.

The expansion of the Cocktail Renaissance (as its aficionados have come to call it) from a few bars in New York, San Francisco, Seattle and a couple of other places to hundredswho knows, thousands?of bars practically everywhere has depended on a concurrent expansion in the amount of bartending and mixological talent and knowledge. But good bartending has expanded not as air does when filling a balloon, where theres an equal amount of it in every part, but more like how Legos fill a hallway when, on your way to the bathroom in the middle of the night, you kick over the huge tub of them your kid left out. Although it doesnt happen with every step, every part of the hall holds the danger of putting your foot down on something fun that has turned diabolical.

What I mean to say is, not all tattooed young bartenders are the modern-day Jerry Thomases they think they are, and not every cocktail they make is the nectareous, brow-smoothing trunnion oil you hope for when you order it. Some, alas, are just plain bad.

The badness of many modern cocktails has been discussed widely and often, and by discussed I mean ranted about. Its easy to go off on the excesses of eager young mixologists who apparently watch too much Adventure Time and let its deadpan randomness infect the drinks they come up withlamb-fat washed rye-corn-barley eau de vie, citrus colloid, Indonesian palm sugar and brick dust, finished with a beet-Malibu foam; like that. What we need, however, is not more rants, as fun as they might be, but some basic science.

Before we can solve the problem of bad cocktails, we need to know the different ways a cocktail can go bad. We need a botany, a zoology, a classification. Every creeping thing that slideth over the bar must be known by his kind, that thou mayst order him no more. (I think it said that in the Bible somewhere, although I might be getting some of the words mixed up.)

Thats not a simple task. At first glance, it seems like cocktails follow Dostoyevskys happy-family rule; that the good ones are more or less all alike, or at least fall into a handful of common patterns (bitters-sugar-booze; bitters-vermouth-booze; sugar-citrus-booze, etc), and the bad ones are each awful in its own peculiar way.

Upon soberish reflection, though, one can identify two main realms of error, each with its inevitable subdivisions. The Strategic and the Tactical. Here, then, is a subjective, preliminary and open-ended attempt to sketch out the different ways mixed drinks can go bad. In this, Ive left out the main one, statistically speaking, which is the old Garbage In-Garbage Out: shoddy, artificial ingredients mixed sloppily together will rarely yield anything drinkable. Fortunately, most modern cocktail bars are out of that phase, at least. These, then, are higher-order errors, the kind you can make with booze that costs more than $20 a bottle and mixers that dont come out of a gun or a #5 can.

But before I get into the details, let me just say that as a mixologist Ive made drinks that fall into just about every one of the following categories and foisted them on the general public, whether at bars Ive consulted for, at charity events, at parties, during my occasional bartending shifts, or via the printed or pixelated word. I write, in other words, from inside the House of Bad. Its partly from making so many wrong drinks that Ive learned to make the occasional right one. Bearing that in mind, Im going to give examples here, some of mine, God help me, but many drawn from actual bars, lightly disguised (the purpose of this isnt to assign individual guilt, of which there is plenty to go around).

STRATEGIC ERRORS

Drinks with strategic errors will never be right because theyre wrong from the get-go; not even an Audrey Saunders, a Jim Meehan or an Alex Kratena, some of the top bartenders out there, could make them taste good without major surgery to the recipe. Here are a few of the most common mistakes.

Historical Errors

Warning signs: David Emburys recipe

Bad drinks, like disease, have always been with us. Some of them have interesting backstories. That does not mean they should be revived. Some of the most respected mixologists from the past, including Charles H. Baker, Jr., author of the legendary, and damned amusing, Gentlemans Companions, and particularly David Embury, the great theorist of mixing drinks, did not know how to balance a cocktail. Even the great 1930 Savoy Cocktail Book has far more wretched drinks in it than brilliant ones. Some whole periodsthe shockingly booze-forward 1950s; the sweet and sticky 70sare largely devoid of good drinks (the 70s ones, for instance, tend to require major surgery to make them drinkable, such as Jeffrey Morgenthalers addition of 125-proof Bookers Bourbon to the Amaretto Sour). You fish in these waters at your peril.

I learned this lesson back in 2005, when I was asked to provide an opening cocktail for a dinner featuring a few of New Yorks top French chefs, including Jacques Ppin and Andr Soltner, two of my culinary idols. I chose the Henri Souls Special, a drink recorded in Ted Sauciers 1951 drinks compendium Bottoms Up. Soul was the formidable presence behind Le Pavillon, New Yorks leading French restaurant in the 1940s and 1950s, and since Ppin had gotten his start in the city there I thought it would be an appropriate tribute.

Here, however, was the drink: 2.5 ounces Cognac, 1 teaspoon sugar, half a teaspoon lemon juice and two pieces of orange peel, shaken with ice and strained into a cocktail glass. OK, perhaps a trifle strong, I thought, but that was how they liked em then. That may have been true, but it was not how they liked em now: Ppin took one sip and left his on a convenient shrubbery-pot, and few people got through more than a few sips. They were right: the drink tasted like California jug wine fortified with rubbing alcohol. A good story does not fix a bad drink.

Also, see below under tactical errors.

Thematic Errors

Warning signs: garnishes fashioned to resemble known objects

A very fertile source of bad drinks is the idea that the drinks name should determine its ingredients. This can make for perfectly lovely drinkstake the Rob Roy, a Manhattan where Scotch whisky has been substituted for American ryebut it is risky, as it can lead to the choice of ingredients for reasons other than flavor and texture. A prime example is the drink I came across recently called the Indian Itch, where a few slices of the little, blisteringly-hot green Jwala pepper so common in Indian food were muddled in Indian rum, shaken with pineapple juice and a hearty pinch of curry powder (thats right, curry powder), strained into an ice-filled glass and topped with ginger ale. Yes, it conveyed the idea India. No, it did not also convey the idea drinkable.

A great deal of modern mixology flirts with this error: many modern drinks are thematic, and use unorthodox ingredients, from distilled dirt (seriously) to pigs eyeballs (again, seriously), to reinforce their themes. Are such drinks always bad? No. Should you be wary? Again, pigs eyeballs.

Volume Errors

Warning signs: bartender is either unenthusiastic or too enthusiastic at your order

By volume here I mean not the amount of liquid in the drink, but the amount of flavor. Some drinks have too little, but given the choice between, say, light, blended Irish whiskey shaken with lemon juice, simple syrup and a dash of elderflower liqueur, and Navy-strength gin, green Chartreuse, Fernet-Branca, Pimiento Bitters and rich, concentrated and sweet Pedro Ximnez sherry, Ill take the dull one. Two or three strong-flavored ingredients played against each other can work well, but with each additional one you risk the whole thing falling apart.

Unclubbable Ingredient Errors

Warning signs: herb garden behind the bar

The unclubbable ingredient is the one thing you add that refuses to get along with others, either by being loud and bullying and entirely blotting them out or by being passive-aggressive and persistent and speaking through all the silences. Smoky Scotch, Chinese baijiu, some mescals, absinthe, Fernet, and some pot-still rums all are dangerous in this way. But so are herbs, such as tarragon, chervil, and the like. They dont drown out the other flavors like the big spirits do, but they have a persistence that makes them linger when all the other flavors are gone. Thats not to say they cant be used well, just that they very often are not.

Brown Drink Errors

Warning signs: over 5 ingredients

Just as all colors, when blended, create brown, theres a flavor profile drinks tend to take on when theyve got too many ingredients. Sorta sweet, sorta bitter, sorta herbal, a little bit fruity, maybe sourish, too. Inexperienced mixologists, faced with a drink that doesnt quite work, have a tendency to keep adding ingredients until the thing tastes OK. Eventually, almost any drink, as long as it doesnt have an unclubbable ingredient, can be made to taste OK if you add enough stuff. But just mediocre isnt worth $15. For that, you want a drink that is focused; that doesnt taste like a little of this and a little of that, but rather has a point of view and a harmonious identity. The only way to get there is to strip away ingredients and start over with different ones; ones that get along well together. Knowing what those are takes experience. The older the mixologist, the fewer ingredients he or she tends to use. As the great jazz trumpeter Roy Eldridge once told Dale DeGroff, dean of American bartenders, when I was younger I used to play all the notes; now, I just play the right ones.

So much for strategic errors.

TACTICAL ERRORS

Drinks with tactical errors are fundamentally sound, but something has gone wrong in their execution. Here, Im not going to bother with simple incompetencereaching for the wrong ingredient, under-stirring, pouring fruit-fly infested liquor or spoiled lime juice, serving a drink in a warm glass, things like that. Thats just bad bartending, not bad mixology.

Historical Errors

Warning signs: Imbibe, by one David Wondrich, and a collection of other history books behind the bar

Some drinks are bad because their makers have gotten hold of a piece of knowledge from the wrong end and are letting it mess them up. For example, a common error I encounter occurs with the New York Sour, a whiskey sour with a float of red wine and one of my favorite drinks. Sometimes when I order one the bartender will add egg white to the drink. Historically, some sours used egg white, but never this one. The egg white produces a layer of froth on top of the drink, which clashes with the layer of red wine also being added to it, and you end up with a drink topped with an unattractive, pinkish muck, rather than a visually-striking, thin red line. Here, history has trumped common sense.

Another historical error involving egg whites occurs when the bartender, following an old recipe, adds a whole egg white to a drink, not realizing that eggs were much smaller in 1918 than the supersized jumbo ones we get in 2018. A little egg white adds a nice texture; a lot, and youre tasting egg white. Nobody wants to taste egg white.

Arts & Crafts and Food Tech Errors

Warning signs: more than two house-made ingredients on the cocktail list, or bar uses purchased simple syrup

Its fine to make your ingredients if you can do them masterfully and theres no other way to get them. Alas, too many bars make theirs just to say that they did. I cant count the number of times Ive had an overly sour Jack Rose (apple brandy, lime juice and grenadine) because the bar makes its own grenadine from pomegranates and sugar rather than using the commercial stuff. Admittedly, the ingredients of the supermarket brands are fairly appalling, but at least theyre really sweet and brightly colored, which is why grenadine was called for in the first place. Nobody ever talked about the stuffs flavor. A good house-made grenadine will duplicate the heavy sweetness and intense red color of the commercial stuff, leaving out the high-fructose corn syrup, the artificial flavors and the dyes (okay, sometimes a little food coloring helps). A bad one, as one encounters more often than not, will be sour and brownish and will neither adequately sweeten nor color the drink. Then there are the clumpy orgeats, the gritty tonic waters, the weird-tasting bitters, the infused vermouths that no longer taste like vermouth. Homemade ingredients can be great, but they have to be great, so to speak. Nothing so-so should go in a drink, no matter who makes it.

Which brings us to the other side of the equation; the crappy commercial products that are mucking up a perfectly good drink. Otherwise-crafty bars that purchase things like simple syrup (sugar and water, mixed), lemon and lime juice and Bloody Mary mix should be avoided. Theyll charge you three times what the corner tap will for the same quality of drink, or worse.

Helping a Brother Out and Helping a Sponsor Out Errors

Warning signs: More than 10 bottles youve never heard of; no bottles youve never heard of

These are the booze versions of the Arts & Crafts/Food Tech errors. We live in an amazing time where literally hundreds of new, small distilleries are making every kind of spirit imaginable. Some of them are even good at it. Many of them, though, are not quite there yet. When I see a local gin I havent heard of being used in my Martini, I start to get very worried. The Martini is a pitiless drink, and it demands a tight, focused gin. All too many of the new brands, in an understandable move to differentiate themselves from whats already out there, employ wide ranges of non-traditional botanicals. These can make for a weird Martini. A Martini should not be weird.

The same goes for whiskey. Too many of the new brands are under-aged, which mean that Old-Fashioned will be hot and fumey and redolent of the wet-dog aroma of new-make grain spirit. Thats not what you want. On the other hand, if the bar carries only big national brands, or has the whole line of Large Producer Xs flavored vodkas or rums on display behind the bar, it might not be the place for a fine cocktail.

Glassware Errors

Warning signs: All the drinks look like a giant, translucent version of a kids cup-and-ball game

Many new cocktail bars, having expensive and elaborate ice programs, like to show off by putting as many drinks as possible in bucket glasses (basically, large whiskey glasses), each holding one huge ball or cube of ice. Thats fine for an Old-Fashioned. Its not fine, or even acceptable, for a vast range of other drinks that want to be straight up in a stemmed glass. If I have one more Last Word served to me on the rocks I swear I shall go to a mountain cave and speak no more.

We could go on with all this, and perhaps in the future we shall. In the meanwhile, be warned and drink well.

Read more: https://www.thedailybeast.com/dr-daves-field-guide-to-bad-cocktails

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Advance Business Development Coaching

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Advance Business Development Coaching

Business development and Marketing

Before I came to Amsterdam to study Business and Economics, I worked in a bank in my hometown, Munich and I left his Bank for one particular reason, because even though the people there earn sufficient amounts of money, they all seemed dissatisfied with their life.

They were frustrated with their career opportunities, they were unhappy with their relationships and they were constantly stressed out, but these people – they all had one thing in common – they did not want to change it and even outside of the bank.

I kept on meeting people who were unhappy with their lives but unwilling to change them, and every time these people saw somebody who had a great relationship who was happy with his job or who sees the great opportunity and was successful.

Most people just said that this person was at the right time at the right spot and got lucky. We all know it right. However, when you study marketing, you realize pretty quickly that products are always at the right time at the right spot.

So at this point I started looking at my marketing book in a different way. Instead of learning for my exams or learning in order to help a company, I started learning for myself. I looked at, I thought.

How can I learn from this? What can I learn from these techniques and I came up with an idea worth spreading now I need a one year. I’m gonna present some theories now and if you’re expecting life-changing knowledge from these Furies.

I’m, sorry to let you down, but if you’re guessing that these theories are like empty jars, you need to fill with your own knowledge and your own insight. You’re, an outstanding guesser. So if you study marketing, you’re, not a stranger to this for blocks.

They call the four PS and four C’s of business development and marketing. The 4Ps Marketing Mix is a business oriented model, which includes product, price, promotion and place. The newer 4Cs of marketing model was meant to be a more consumer-orientated version. It includes Consumer, Cost, Communication and Convenience.

The 4C’s focuses the marketer on targeting niches rather than mass markets. Then these need to be the foundation of your business development, marketing, and every product lunch. No product enters the market without filling these four blocks. And tonight we’re, going to launch you, so the first one is the product in the customer needs the product.

Are you yourself and all the capabilities? You have, and the customer needs are the needs of the people you need for your success and your product has to match these needs. However, customer needs are something really tricky, because something else does your unstated secret need, and tonight I guess this unstated secret need is that you want to go home at the end of the day.

Now these uncertainties are really hard to find and if you find the secret needs, you can be sure that you have a massive competitive advantage, but I can tell you what they are. You have to find it yourself and the only advice I can give you on this is never ever ever.

Try googling them. There are secret needs. You don’t want to know about now. Your product has to meet the customers needs and most of the time when you do it for the first time, you will realize that it doesn’t, but don’t.

Be sad about it, because the process is called R & amp D, which stands for research and development and not research and depression. Even though you realize that your product doesn’t meet the customer needs, you can still develop it’s.

Never too late for personal development, my grandpa is 83 years old and he’s. Learning English right now, just so, he can watch this video. What’s? Your Excuse now? Who, in this room ever wanted to be a rockstar or famous DJ, that’s, quite a lot right and why shouldn’t you if somebody would come up with a contract and won’t me ask me: you want To sign up to be a rockstar, I would take it immediately all the fame and fortune fast cars giving concerts in front of 100,000 people.

That would be great, but that’s. Just half of the story, because who in this audience actually is a rockstar and the reason why so many people fail to become a rockstar it’s. The same reason why I never became one because when I started playing guitar at the age of 16, this man was my idol.

His name is John Butler here at his own TED talk in Sydney and he started playing at the age of 16 as well. Now, how did John Butler become an outstanding guitar player and I didn’t. It’s because he dedicated himself to it well played once or twice a week.

He played every free minute. Well, I was too shy to play in front of people. He went out busking in the streets and while I played it safe and went to university, he quit University just to pursue a career in music.

Now I’m, not trying to inspire anybody to quit the university right away and just go out busking in the streets, but next time you see somebody successful ask yourself: what are his costs? Because this didn’t come for free? There must be some costs behind it and then ask yourselves: would you be willing to pay it because when people are told about the countless hours of practice the endurance needed and the risks involved in becoming a rock star, most of them don’t want to do it anymore.

But if it still sounds tempting to you, you should go for it now, after figuring out your product, your customer needs your price, your costs, it’s time to think about how to let people know you’Re out there, because life is just basically like a big supermarket in a big supermarket.

People are exposed to 300 products per minute, and this little girl could be your customer. She could be anybody, your future boss, or even your wife, and all these products around her. Okay, I know you for 20 years, but all these products around her are potential future husbands, just like you.

How should she know for which one to stop take it out of the shelf and put it in a shopping cart. We have a product, we have a concept for this as well, it’s called Aida, and it has nothing to do with this boat company Aida stands for attention, interest, desire and action.

So the first thing you need to do to be successful in business development or marketing is grab the customers attention. You can do that with anything. It could be a smile. When you’re enter into the room, it could be a nice hat, a flashy outfit or you can simply stand on the red carpet on the stage right in front of them.

Once you grab the attention, you need to create an interest within them. So that happens by displaying the attributes you thought about which they want and because you thought about it, this attributes create create a desire in them because their ex you’re, exactly what they need and that ultimately leads to the action part.

It sounds a bit weird when talking about dating may be better with products, but it’s really essential, because in the market, as well as in life, it’s, not the product which is the best which gets sold the most.

But it’s, the best promoted product which gets sold the most and now you can go for all these steps and still fail simply because people don’t know where to buy you. They don’t know where to find you.

This applies to every single life situation, but in my case I just really like the dating example. So we’re, going say with that. So when I was 16 in Germany, that’s, the age when you’re allowed to go out drinking.

So I went to nightclubs with my friend also because we thought that is the prime ik place to meet women now. Were we successful at meeting women at nightclubs? No, were they even a realistic chance for us to meet women at nightclubs? Not at all? Why not? Only because of this, this could have worked.

It’s because an average German nightclub there’s, 80 % men and 20 % women there’s, a massive oversupply of men, which leads to greater competition, less success. Now I still manage to solve this problem.

I wish I could tell you oh yeah, i enhance my product and I went out into them or not that’s, not what happened. What happened was that I simply positioned myself differently. To be honest, my mother positioned me differently because she signed me up for standard dancing, lessons that was the reaction of my friends as well, but after one hour of standard dancing, I was not even mad anymore because from an economic perspective that was amazing, there was A room full of women such an oversupply, such a high demand for a guy like me, so little men, so a little supply.

It was like a supermarket with more customers and products. That was great. I went overnight from being a free in the club to a 9:00 at dancing, or maybe a 7, but still improvement. So what we can learn from this is that sometimes you need to consider all the options, because sometimes the place, which is the most obvious to meet your customers, is not the place where they need you.

After filling out all these four boxes there’s, one major question left for tonight: why do people when we can analyze our situation and position us in the market would attribute sex they? Why would they attribute success solely to luck and the answer for is this? We tell ourselves that other people are lucky for the same reason.

We take a pill when we have a weight problem or we drug our children. When you’re hyperactive, we have a problem and we’re looking for a solution, and this one is easy: it’s fast and it’s effortless, but it’s also a dead-end because Rather than tackling the root of our set as dissatisfaction the cause of our problems, we just swallow a lock pill and number selves to all the symptoms.

But will this luck pill? We also number selves to all the great opportunities this world has to offer and we constrain ourselves in developing our personal best. I was at this point when I was in the bank.

I was just as dissatisfied as all my colleagues, but I didn’t swallow the luck pill. What I would in was, I analyzed. What am I good at? I positioned myself differently. I moved to answer then to enhance my product.

You’re unhappy with your relationships. You don’t like where your life is going or you simply feel like your life. Could be so much better, you have two options. You can either swallow the lock pill and go on with business as usual, or it can analyze your situation, take action and truly change the game.

Source : Youtube

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