#every once in a while I lose my mind
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Okay, it took about... Idk, 6~ hours to do this? Definitely at least six cause I've been coloring and whatnot for about five hours and I know I didn't whip up the sketch in just an hour.
Anyway, here's the spooky weird Nikia for the goofy priestess au I've been bouncing around for a while now. Almost did silver chains cause silver just works better with the cooler color vibe, but considering she didn't pick these, gaudy ass gold is better lol
She looks so ominous but also like she's meant to be a statue. Just looked at, not touched. Which fits.
When she 'trades' the jewelry for freedom, she needs help removing all of it cause it's legitimately tangled into her wings and around her body. Very noisy, heavy jewelry she's glad to get rid of. Though she liked the sound of bells, the intent and amount was excessive for her.
#mittens rambles#op oc nikia#every once in a while I lose my mind#and then humble myself real quick#the chains were a bitch i didnt even try to sketch using the brush as a reference#its just straight up a brush not even going to pretend
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hi evie !! how have you been ? :33 i hope you dont mind me borrowing you and moze for something ehehe <3
#🐦⬛🐕 .#彡 nick!#彡 inbox.#evie.ss#omg good morning nick! my stomach literally twisted and flipped seeing this /pos /POS /the most positive gut wrenching feeling in existence#NICK AND THE REASON WAS ? WHY DO U NOT HAVE A KOFI LINK WHERE IS IT …. THIS ISNT OK I NEED TO FIND IT???? U CANNOT BE … BE …. BE UM … YOU K#I NEED TO 😭😭😭 I NEED ….. IS IT OBVIOUSLY IM CRYING WRITING THINSSJSJSN /pos /ULTRA POS THIS IS SO CUTE UR ART IS SOOOO AWESME IM SO IN AWE😭#typos: obvious* <- & barrier* -> amazing work evie#i broke the sound banner with the screech i made seeing this …. YOU … YOU DREW ME … THE EXACT WAY ….. I .. ITS SO SPOT ON I ????? I … IM#FLABBERGASTED . SHELL SHOCKED . GOBSMACKED IM SO OBSESSED WITH HOW U DID MY HAIR …. THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I DO MY HAID … AND THE CURLS ARE LI#LIKE THAT… IM SO OBSESSED WITH UR STYLE JSJSJJD HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I SAID IT???? UR STYLE IS MMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!! 1000/1000!!!!!! in specif#the colors … the colors are gorgeous and sooo nice to gaze at … the little wings … HOW DID YOU KNOW I LIKE- IM SO . (hugs knees and cries#YOU DREW THAT DRESS AWESOME-LY …. IM GENUINELY LOSING MY MIND AND I HAVENG EVEN .. looked at *him* ….. nick …. im complimenting it and i#can’t even see rn HEJSJCKCNITS BLURRY 😭😭 my head hurts so bad from sobbing but ive never been happier /pos IM SO ???? I LOVE HOW U DREW ME#i went to go triple check for the kofilink and found myself browsing through puppetgear tag once again u^u JENDNDKXJ oh my god . PLEASEEEEE#ok…. moze … he’s … so tiny .. he’s so cute … he looks so grumpy :’) /pos AND YOU .. u captured his squishable look omg….. he’s so teeny he’#literally as big as a fingernail on my phone im :’) HES POCKET SIZED I CANT BELIEVE U DID THIS /pos /ETERNALLY GRATEFUL#WHY 😭😭😭😭😭 YOURE SO KIND IM SO . IM SITTING ON THE FLOOR OF MY ROOM SNIFFLING AND HICCUPING AHENDNJXKC AND STARING AT THIS OF COUESE#i just saw the ask 😭 i definitely don’t mind im literally on my hands and knees to thank you and it’s still not enough JSNSNDNMC i have to#dig a dent in the hole and bow inside the hole …… it’s not enough … i genuinely love every square inch of this JSNDNXN i just adore … how u#did me … how u did moze (so— everything) even the circle in the background is a color that i adore 😞😞 sniffle …..#what a treat to see moze in ur style 😭😭 what a HUGE . Nice . AMAZING. TREAT . he looks so good in ur style UGH I WANNA FLOAT AWAY#the physical reaction i had in my stomach & head is unmatched /pos …. it’s vaguely similar to when u get called on in class while nervous .#and ur stomach flips .. but in a positive / EVSTATIC / insanely happy way … thank you so much omfg (link?) (please?) you are so kind ….#i don’t even know how to convey my gratefulness so im resorting to crying-staring-crying-staring-crying#(cries)#oh i never answered ur question haha :’) yea im great! :’) and you? :’)#im gonna put this in queue >/////< URK IM SO …. THANK U NICK ))))))):::: (link perhap?)#edit: OHHHH I SEE HOW U DID MY HAIR COLOR!!!!! that is so cool hello? it’s black- but not? and it fits so perfectly!!!! THAT IS SOO COOL WJ#NO WONDER I WAS ADMIRING THE COLORS EARLIER THIS IS SUCH A COOL THING (nonartist tries to explain how neat something is) NSNDNXKK
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Okk. I don't want to compare or anything but I don't get the people who's getting mad on Korn Tonkla scenes saying they had more screen time? Or shit. I mean tbh, I am understanding the plot of the series better because of the two of them because they are somehow related to all of the events. And Tonkla's situation is...... he somehow senses the other timeline which I think is an important role. And also, Korn! Like what you've said he knows Dome is dead, and at the same time he's with his brother who ’saved’ Dome. Both of the characters are pivotal in the series.
Also, I think that they are more talked about because a Bas and Fuaiz couple was not expected in the series, and at the same time their plot line is really good as well as the build up of their characters. And I've seen more & more people are falling in love with Fuaiz & Bas (as an actor) in this series.
But somehow, I get them because the main couple is GreatTyme but why does it feel like they are becoming more of a side couple. Also saw people saying that their ’plot line’ or how they were introduced to eo /wasn't it./
Thank you for giving me the incentive to speak about this issue, anon. I'm going to do it now because the new episode will come out in a few hours and hopefully I won't have to do this ever again - which I honestly doubt but anyway. Since I haven't seen this type of discourse pop up on Tumblr (thank GOD), I'd like to inform everyone that over on Twitter, there have been massive complaints about Tonkla, aka Fuaiz, getting more screentime than the main characters, aka JesBible, to the point of people tagging BOC in posts and demanding they give them more scenes with TymeGreat - as if BOC can just pull footage they haven't filmed out of their ass or something. It got so bad that Sammon herself saw them and AGREED with these people, further explaining how it was important for some plot elements to be explored now, in order for the rest of the series to make sense. Now, with all due respect to her position as a screenwriter: she's factually wrong here. Someone on Twitter actually sat down and counted the minutes each character is on screen and came out with these results:
It's not in English, but I believe the results are clear: Tonkla doesn't even come close to Great's screentime. He's a little closer to Tyme's, but the main character is Great, so he's the one we should be looking at. Also, in case it hasn't been fucking obvious, Tonkla is an essential character in 4 Minutes, which is why we're getting many scenes with him. The reason I mentioned the actors is pretty self-explanatory - people are mad their favourite actors are shown a specific amount of time, giving space to other plot lines and characters, instead of being there for the whole episode, as if the point of 4 Minutes is the romance between Tyme and Great and nothing else. Meanwhile, Bible himself was laughing and clapping and enjoying the flashback scene between Korn and Tonkla when they had their first time, because Bible wanted to be part of a good production, which he is and he recognizes it. But no, God forbid we get more context over KornTonkla, which is one of the most important relationships in the show, which guides Tonkla's actions, which moves the fucking PLOT of the SHOW. I could give the benefit of the doubt to people being upset Tonkla was shown for not even half of episode 4, but I won't, and the reason for that is because I'm sick and fucking tired of people getting their panties in a twist because a character who loves getting fucked is actually getting fucked in almost every episode. Good for him honestly, even if it's making him worse. (I've already ranted about this whole thing here, I'm not going to repeat myself) I don't know how your social media feeds are like anon, but mine are flooded with BibleJes + GreatTyme content and I rarely see anything about KornTonkla or Bas and Fuaiz or anything of the sort, so I can't agree with you that they're more talked about than the main actors/characters. (That's not the case on Tumblr though: I have a very varied feed + my lovely anon asks which give me the chance to talk about my boys and I'm thankful for that.) And I'm sorry, anon, but I'm going to have to disagree with you in the end: Great and Tyme do NOT feel like the side couple at all. They are and they feel very much like the main couple and they've had multiple scenes together in every single episode so far (at the hospital, in Great's garage, at the park, at the university, at the arcade, inside Great's car, at the rooftop of the hospital, at the warehouse, inside the tent etc). We've gotten plenty of fucking content for them AND also BOC has made sure to give Bible and Jes the chance to do a million interviews together + magazine photoshoots, with only half of the show being done, so fans have zero fucking reason to complain about anything. That's all. Rant over.
#istg it feels like I've been blocking more people on the daily than when the scandal was happening#people are fucking horrible#and they don't realize at all that THE ACTORS CAN SEE THIS#Fuaiz can SEE people being unhinged about him having more than 2 minute cameos every episode#he has worked his ASS off for this role and it fucking shows#I get having favourites I do#but for the love of God if you only care about the shipping then go make edits and watch your faves' scenes over and over and stfu already#Bible has no problem with other actors getting the spotlight besides him#NOBODY IS STEALING HIS MAIN ROLE FROM HIM#EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN THE SHOW IS BECAUSE OF GREAT#Be NORMAL for ONCE holy SHIT#I said rant over but I couldn't resist ranting in the tags as well#I'm TIRED people#I'm fucking TIRED#see Tonkla having a scene or two this episode and people losing their minds again even though I'm sure we'll get a lot of TymeGreat scenes#Was this what it was like for VP fans while KPTS was airing because I'm not having fun like this I'm really not#thank fuck for my friends and my lovely anon asks because I wouldn't be surviving otherwise#4 minutes#bible wichapas#jes jespipat#fuaiz thanawat#fandom
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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58(???) days until Charlie...
#mira draws stuff#fate charlemagne#charlemagne#fgo#fate grand order#fate extella link#charlemagne countdown#Have you ever wondered what the white collar that's peeking out from under his armor is??? I have#ngl I think he'd look good with or without sleeves#Am I losing my mind? Did I have a mind to lose in the first place? We're getting closer and closer to 50 days since I started this#If anyone has any suggestions (nothing suggestive please) feel free to drop them in my askbox#no guarantees I'll do them but some outside input would be nice every once in a while!!#still no word about lb6.5 I'm gonna start chewing on the drywall at this rate
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i just always feel like this isnt the way that i "should" be, like that stupid terrible relationship i had when i was 18 Years Old just gave me permanent brain damage that will never let me be normal ever again
#although to be fair i do think i am allowed to be alarmed when someone practically moves into my house after Dating Day 1 with no discussion#but there was once a me that would have loved someone so affectionate and clingy and now i just feel stifled and overstimulated#i cant tell if its growing up or if im just the most avoidant motherfucker on this earth. or if im just used to being single and not#having to answer to anyone. i love my friends so much and its not considered weird to not want to see them all day every day#even when my moirail and her boyfriend stayed over for a week while moving i felt myself losing my mind by the end of it#or maybe thats not normal and im just some weird antisocial asshole!!
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yes i want ford to be happy and finally move on
but also yes i wanna see his horror at learning that bill's obsession has shifted to become unadulterated hatred of stan/finding out that stan is his reincarnation/seeing even a glimpse of stan's many many issues
#ford going 'finally living my best life with my brother!!! :D' while stan hits the horrors™️ away with a broom#ford reacting to all the tests on stan's mind with a simple 'he still has his bad jokes' still makes me unhinged af#cos just a few weeks later we got the website hammering it in how bad stan's mental state must've been#we're gonna be left with just this for the foreseeable future im chewing on my walls#....unless alex decides to upload the stan nightmare story soon cos then i will lose it#'no one has ever been nice to me in my entire life' kills me inside every time i remember it#i can imagine them being >:\\\\ cos they were expecting the dangers of the sea and cold and like.#not. existential horrors. and that annoying guy who's basically a stalker at this point.#but also the annoying guy was him once! god damn that sucks!
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unstoppable force (full force hyperfixation that makes me want to chew on drywalls and rant about it nonstop and do so so so mcuh for it forever) vs immovable object (if i do all that i will upset or annoy my friends and i would literally rather die)
#im fighting demons#and the demons are losing#just imagine me. sitting completely still. not doing anything#vibrating at the speed of sound while im doing like 5 bdg unravelled style presentations in my mind at once#I Am Losing My Fucking Mind < this happens every time i have a new hyperfixation#at least normally theres content out there i can engage in.... wdyM i have to make it myself#i need to kill [remembers suicide jokes are harmful] that middleaged man#me.txt#christ this is incoherent#like i said. im losing my mind
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mutuals you can find me in your walls and cupboards and chewing through your cereal boxes at 4 am when youre not looking.
#the heron speaketh#or on discord if you wanna ask for it lol#im also on instagram as loaded.heron if need be. my art is up on there#not any of my terror art yet i havent gotten around to that but soon i will. theres lots of rat images though#funny how we have this jumpscare every once in a while and i usually wouldnt pay it much mind but the thing is i have. made.#a number of friends recently. and i would miss you all terribly if i were to lose you. so#ill be here until my computer sets itself on fire dont worry but yadda yadda backup planns or whatever
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i haven’t even been working at this place for 3 weeks before the universe decided to thrust another attractive man in my presence…. about to bang my head into the goddamn wall
#my first full time job so we will be seeing each other a LOT#not sure why he’s in my head rent free rn i have to fight the urge to smack my head in retaliation#VERY hesitant on workplace romance this shit is scaring me lowkey😭 second instance of this there was another guy at my last job too#that would stare at me all the time#ran into each other all the time talked once…. blabbed to friends about him that man was GONE right after i was gonna ask for his number#he came back when i was over it then disappeared again#maybe if i blab again the same thing might happen??😭 kind of fucked up that i can’t even confide in ppl though#I’m just left to be trapped in my mental prison reeling and losing my mind and seeing this man behind my eyelids every once in a damn while
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the milfs hate me, the dilfs hate me... the women hate me.... the men hate me...... the only one who doesnt hate me is a girlfail tgirl who wont leave me alone
this post is about gacha games
#genshin and hsr got me losing my mind collectively#was pulling for chiori a couple weeks back plus weapon and lost almost every 50/50 it was insane#cue hsr now i just wanted gallagher. how abt 20 pity yanqing and another 36 marches instead says the game#maybe i just want a dilf once in a while huh#at least my beloved cowboy is now guaranteed..
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also today i learned about the new tom holland spider-man movie in production, and as someone who really liked that trilogy…god please don’t do that, we were so close to having spider-man mostly untouched by the curse that’s overtaken marvel 😭
#they brought dr strange into the last one which was like…stop but also fuckin’ fine whatever…but now…what are they gonna do :(#‘spider-man 4 is gonna fix this big plot hole’ fuckin leave it !! it’s fine !! stop over correcting with horrific cgi i’m losing my mind !!#leave my boy alone#also pay your vfx team and let them out of the basement every once and a while i beg#spiderman
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i hate to say it but a lot of system dynamics just feel like this
#lily.txt#osddid#system memes#like no hate because i definitely have this going on with several alters ngl#im so ‘h-hi everyone’ and theyre so ‘i will protect you’ im so lalalalala hes so okokokokok etc#sorry i just remember that these tweets exist every once in a while and lose my mind
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also i lied about not thinking about anything else bc i saw sweeney todd in nyc a few days ago (that's not me doxing myself lol it was like a two day trip and i'm home now) and i did not expect to get brainrot from it but i really really have.
the whole thing's fan fucking tastic but also toby??? he's curly haired he's pathetic he ends the show covered in blood what more could you want from a character he's so gender
#like many transmascs i do lose my mind about a sad scrappy tenor boy#but also annaleigh ashford holy shit#also the choreography#every once in a while theater kid me really rears their head#and i am reminded that i do genuinely love musicals a whole lot even if they're not as present in my life anymore#anyway the new production of sweeney todd is amazing i say this as someone who knew next to nothing about it going in#it rocked#space talks#musicals
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The worst part about being terrible at math in school, not understanding it and not having the resources to approach it a different way, deciding that it wasn't worth working hard at, skidding by with passing grades, and forgetting everything I'd learned about algebra, geometry, quadratic equations, etc. etc. post high school graduation is that I took a look at my sister's homework over Christmas and had to close my eyes and take a moment of pained silence to myself because I couldn't remember how to do flippin grade six math
#exposing myself as a struggling student today apparently#i found multiplication and fractions and area and volume a LOT of fun but everything after that was such a struggle#and i never managed to find out a) what i was doing wrong b) how to do math without losing my mind#alas it is a life skill i NEED#i just revert back to grade 2 songbird sobbing her eyes out while trying to learn the eight times table in my head every once in a while#was looking at khan academy's math stuff and just looking at that stuff was overwhelming#but it's stuff i SHOULD KNOW!!! it's hard to start when you've stopped for so long though#especially since our teacher split us up into ordinary and advanced math and the ordinary math kids were like. should we even bother#i haven't bothered since like high school#songbird again
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dazai
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