#every now and then I throw ben’s stuff in the kylo tag just to see if anyone new finds the blog lol

[askbensolo]

maybe life is best lived one step at a time.

and maybe sometimes difficult things are worth pursuing.

and maybe certain scars are worth overcoming.

[peterparkersnose]

Escape

ben solo x reader

kylo ren x reader

word count: 1.2k

warnings: none, kylo ren becomes ben solo once again, established relationship, leg wound

a/n please give your authors notes, we work so hard on our stuff. if you didn’t enjoy it, feel free to ignore it but if you did, please leave your writers even a like. it means the world. re blogs are appreciated but not necessary. thank you loves. 

summary Kylo Ren has to make the tough decision for his future with his wife

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read time: 4 mins 27 seconds

You were reading silently in your corner in the living room. The dark essence of the apartment always gave you an eerie feeling, so you would read horror to match the mood. It was a high tensity part of the book, you were on the edge of your seat when the door came flying open. You yelped, throwing the book in fright when you realized Kylo had just returned home for the day. 

He grunted, throwing his helmet on the floor. He kicked his boots against the wall and threw his cape on the floor like a toddler. 

“What’s wrong with you?” you asked in an annoyed tone, eyebrow raised. He said nothing and returned to his study, slamming the door behind him. Noise erupted from the room, crashes and loud bangs filled the apartment. Finally, the tantrum seemed to have ended. You huffed and rose off your chair, picking up his helmet and cape and following him. Of course, the door was locked. 

“I have your stuff,” you said calmly. No response. You knocked slightly, hoping that he would respond to the kind approach. “Please let me in,” 

You heard the door click, signaling that he unlocked it. You opened it slightly, revealing a mess. Books had been knocked off the shelf, papers were scattered all over the room. You found Kylo sitting in front of the victim bookcase, with a large gash down the middle. It gave a crackling sound that made you sigh. 

His belongings were placed on the ground as you went to comfort your husband. You placed a hand on his back, and reached for his lightsaber that he was hyperfocusing on. He let you take it, and you set it on his desk. Now sitting on your knees, you wrapped your arm around him. He sat breathing heavy. 

You were unsure if he wanted to speak or not. You wanted to know why he was so upset. It was rare he would come home like this. You were running through on what you should do in your head when he finally spoke. 

“You should not worry about me,” 

“I always worry about you,” “Well stop.” “I can’t just stop, Kylo.” 

He rested his head on your shoulder and took a deep breathe. “We were planning a counter attack on the resistance today when one of my lieutenants gave me coordinates to the lead resistance base,” 

You shook your head in understandment. “Isn’t that a good thing?” you asked, squeezing his shoulder. 

“I already had those coordinates.” he sighed. You sat for a moment. “Your mad because your lieutenant gave you information you already knew? I can see that as a inconvenience but Kylo, honey, it should not ruin your whole day. We really need to work on your-”

“It is the base where my mother lives,” 

Oh. 

He never spoke about his mother. You only knew he had one because Hux had brought it up briefly once. He had bruises on his neck for weeks. 

“I feel myself becoming weak,” Kylo whispered, almost relieved he said it out loud. “I don’t think your weak.” “The supreme leader feels it too.”

You shuttered at the mention of the supreme leader. 

“Your not weak. You are the strongest man I know. I trust you will make the decision that you feel is right.” you said, intertwining your fingers with his. Your hand was so small in comparison to his. 

“I know what I have to do but I don’t know if I’m strong enough to do it.” Kylo said, his breaths shuttering. 

“I will be there every step of the way. I promise.”

-

Three nights had passed. You hadn’t heard much from your husband besides a couple passing “Good mornings,”

He had absolutely consumed himself in his work almost to the point where it was concerning. He wouldn’t sleep. He wouldn’t eat. You knew he was suffering. 

On the third day you were peacefully folding some of your clothes on the bed. Kylo was at work and you didn’t expect much noise in the apartment except for a possible mail droid. 

When you heard a loud crash from the kitchen, you were worried. You grabbed your small blaster from your bedside table and krept down the stairs. 

The worrying sight of your husband rummaging through your emergency supplies was brought to your eyes. He felt your presence and turned to face you. When your eyes met, something was different. 

Maybe the fact that he was covered in sweat and blood should have been off putting, but it wasn’t his appearance that was much different. 

It was his soul. 

Something you had only heard tiny rumors about before you knew him, before you joined the First Order. 

Ben. 

You quickly understood and rushed down the stairs. “Take what you need, were not coming back.” he said out of breath. With the chaotic life of being the wife of Kylo Ren, you pretty much had all your valuables packed up and ready to go. 

It started to get concerning when alarms starting blaring off around the ship. You slipped your to go bag over your shoulder along with a backpack. 

“Is this really happening?” you asked him. 

He turned and looked deeply into your soul. He took your hands and sighed. “We must go now.” 

You followed Kylo quietly down each secret corner. He knew this ship like the back of his hand. Avoiding troopers, making sure no conflict would happen. He knew he had to keep you safe. 

The workers bunks were the safest to escape from. They had escape pods for emergencies that would most likely go undetected from the Commander’s pit. Kylo practically threw you into it, then followed with your stuff. Just as he was about to get in, what seemed like a platoon of Storm Troopers starting blasting their blasters. “Get down!” he yelled to you, struggling to close the hatch. 

Kylo was quick to seal the hatch shut, but not before a shot bounced off his leg. The sound of the sizzling from his leg made you nauseous. You started searching the ship for the bacta spray when Kylo interrupted you. “No use. They don’t supply the working ships with them. I’ll be fine.” 

“But I’m-”

“I know. Your always worried about me. But everything will be okay now.”

The silence between the two of you was almost painful. Kylo had asked you to try to dispatch a resistance base, but you were struggling to find one. 

He had pulled comms and tracking out of the ship and released them into space. You two were officially off the map. 

The radio scratching was hurting your head. You kept calling for a resistance fighter to call in, but nothing happened. The ship was going so fast, you felt like you were going a million miles per hour. 

“...resistance copy to…”

“I think we got one,” you said, adjusting the knobs on the reader. “Copy to resistance!” you yelled through the speaker. “Copy. May we ask who this is?” the pilot asked. 

“Who are we?” you asked, turning to your husband. 

His gaze was glossy and out of touch. “Ben Solo.” he said, not moving a muscle. 

“A-are you sure won’t they-”

“They’ll know. She’ll know.” he assured you. 

“Ben Solo, repeat, we are Ben Solo.” 

-

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@dani5216 @uwiuwi @alohastyles-x @samanthacookieone @maddieinnit0 @alexxavicry

[damn-stark]

Blinded Ch.19

A/N- really hope you guys liked it!! We’re finally moving on to TROS!! I have exciting stuff planned for it!! I can’t wait for you all to read!! Let me know your thoughts :)

Warning- ANGST, Violence, light swearing, talks torture. And talks of more heavy stuff I don’t want to spoil :(

Pairing- Poe Dameron x Solo!reader

Takes place during- The Last Jedi

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

—

“Rey?”

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” Her eyes were wide with confusion as she saw you in cuffs just like the ones she had on now. She had felt a presence here, she didn’t know what it meant, only having felt Ben’s through their connection in the force and even that confused her. When she felt yours she wasn’t sure until she saw you now. Her look went from confused to worried as she saw you in black clothing not compared to what you wore the last time she saw you. Your arms showed because of the black tank you wore, they were covered in fresh wounds, your shoulder was bandaged and blood was leaking through, you looked as if you hadn’t slept in weeks and looked as if at any second you would just fall.

“I-”, before you could utter another word Kylo grabbed your arm and pulled you forward so you wouldn’t be beside Rey, so you wouldn’t talk to her. She just watched as you didn’t even flinch when he had grabbed your arm and pulled you forward, she also saw how similar the both of you were. Their was a height difference but your hair was the same, your eyes matched each other’s, even the sadness behind your eyes matched. She saw Han and Leia in the both of you so vividly; something in her wished she would have met the both of you under different circumstances, when you two were closer and not so much like strangers, like you are now.

-

“You don’t have to do this.” Rey spoke from behind you, directing her comment to Kylo. “I feel the conflict in you. It’s tearing you apart.”

Without moving your head, you move your eyes to the side and listen carefully to what Rey was telling Kylo. You hadn’t felt what she felt in him. The conflict. You were stuck in your own thoughts that you hadn’t tried to know what he was feeling, not that when you first got here you wanted too. But now after what you went through, after your own conflict you went through, to not kill him you grew curious. You closed your eyes, tuning out their conversation and used the force to feel what Rey had felt.

Instantly you felt the conflict she spoke of, it was eating him alive, he was fighting hard to keep the conflict away but it was hard to do so. You being here wasn’t helping. After what had happened, what you had told him and the struggle he saw within you; the conflict he tried to fight was hard to keep away.

It wasn’t until you felt a sudden grip on your arm where you snapped back into the room. Kylo pushed you forward and out of the elevator, the both of you meeting each other’s gaze for a brief moment before he turned his away to look straight ahead.

“Well done, my good and faithful apprentice.” Snoke announced making you sigh and pull your arm away from Kylo’s touch. You let your eyes wander the familiar room, nothing had changed. The guards were still there, looking like red statues, Snokes ugly chair was still in the same spot while he too sat like he always did.

You hated the thought of being here, it only meant one thing, that being, what Snoke told you earlier. You also hated the fact that Rey was here, you wished she had stayed away from this horrible place and you wished that you had warned her before but you didn’t. And now her life was danger and you hated that it was.

“My faith in you is restored.” He finished as he looked between Rey and you with a menacing grin. “Young Rey. Welcome.” He turned over to you again, placing his hands on top of your lightsabers that were on his chairs arm rest. He was taunting you, and you knew it, trying to get a rise out of you, knowing that sooner or later it would work. “No need for a welcome to you, Princess, you remember this place don’t you?” You shoot him a glare, making him chuckle and force you to kneel down, like you would have done in the past when you were Hale Ren.

The handcuffs beeped as they fell from your hands, letting you finally rub your wrist as you felt relief now that they weren’t applying pressure to your wounds.

“Come closer, children.” His words were cold making you hate the sound of his voice even more than you did already. The glare you shot him never disappearing and only becoming more hateful. “So much strength. Darkness rises, and light to meet it. I warned my young apprentice’s that as they grew stronger their equal in the light would rise.” He paused, force pulling Rey’s lightsaber from Kylo’s hand and placing it next to yours.

“Skywalker I presumed. Wrongly. When Hale, here fell from the dark side, I thought it would be her, but it’s obvious she’s not. Still conflicted. As always, little Princess.” He chuckled making direct eye contact with you, making you push yourself up to your full height and shoot daggers at him.

“Closer I said.” He begun to force pull both Rey and you closer to him, you tried to fight him but his hold was stronger.

“You underestimate Skywalker, Ben Solo, Y/N and me. It will be your downfall.” Rey argued as Snoke placed the both of you in front of him.

“Oh..have you seen something? A weakness in my apprentice? Is that why you came?” Snoke questioned Rey. Making your eyes flicker over to her and to your lightsabers that were inches away from you. Your fingers itched to get a hold of them as he talked with Rey, using this time Snoke was distracted to slowly force pull your sabers to your hands. You came to a stop as Snoke pulled your attention back to him.

“And you. While I bridged their minds, I also got into yours, tempting you, using the fact that Kylo Ren killed your father as perfect bait for your already conflicted soul. One little push, and I knew you would be troubled again. That you would come here, you fool!” Your eyes widened at the sound of his revelation, you swallowed thickly before twisting your features into a mean scowl.

He had placed all the visions, everything. He had been the one that got you troubled again, he was the voice, the one that brought you pain. He was the one that put you against your brother, the one that almost made you kill him. You should’ve known. Who else could’ve done it? If not him.

“And now, you both will give me Skywalker. And I will kill you, while Kylo kills YOU, with the cruelest stroke.” He placed each hand on both Rey and your cheek, causing you both to breath heavily.

“Like hell I will!” You hissed making him chuckle.

“Yes. Give. Me. Everything.” He threw both Rey and you into mid air, freezing every muscle in your body as you both floated.

“No! No!”

“I’ll kill you!” You exclaimed managing to raise your head so he could see your rage, not a second after he threw your head back— while also beginning to probe your mind, causing you to let out a scream as you felt insufferable pain as you tried to fight him off. Every second that passed seemed like an hour, the pain compared to that of the torture device from earlier. You felt yourself sweat the more you tried to fight him, everything in your body screaming as the pain kept multiplying by the second.

Once the pain stopped Rey and you dropped to the ground with a loud thud. Finally making you let out a sigh of relief as you felt like your mind wasn’t being lit on fire. You pushed yourself up a little while after Rey had, meeting Kylo’s eyes for a moment, seeing something hidden within them before he looked down again. Somehow you unlike Rey, successfully avoided to give any information to Snoke. But for that, after redirecting Rey’s lightsaber to him, after Rey failed to get it to her, he force pulled you to the magnifying glass.

The red screen parted finally letting you focus onto what he was trying to show you. “The entire Resistance you betrayed us for is on those transports.” He taunted, freezing you in place, making sure you watched.

You felt your face grow pale, every ounce of blood you felt had left your body. You felt your heart shatter in your chest and your breath get caught in the back of your throat. “No no no.”

“Soon they will all be gone. For you, all is gone.”

The feeling of him freezing you place was gone and you were dropped to the ground; your eyes still focused on the transports as your mind wondered to Poe, your mom, Finn and everyone else you knew. Making you regret that you had let yourself get so conflicted, mad and so set on revenge that you left them, after promising you would help them. You let them down, all of them.

But you weren’t going to let Snoke see that he had gotten to you, no. He was never going to see you look defeated, never. Instead you push yourself up and turn to face him, without outstretching your hand to not make it seem obvious, you force pull your lightsabers to your hands. Quickly igniting them as they got to you, letting Rey do the same with Kylo’s lightsaber. You both lock eyes sharing a knowing look and an unspoken conversation. You flip the lightsabers in your hands, making the guards get into fighting positions as they saw both Rey and you threaten their Supreme Leader.

“Oh, still the fiery spit of hope.” Snoke chuckled. “Spirit of a true Jedi!” He said directing that comment to Rey as he saw her running towards him, followed by you. You both jumped aiming the lightsabers to him but before Rey could strike him, he force pushed her away letting Kylo’s lightsaber land by his feet. While you almost impaled him, he got the chance to force push you to ground next to his throne, pulling your lightsabers away from your hands and throwing them across the room.

“I’ll kill YOU then.” He threatened as he forced you to stand up and put his hand around your neck. “You both must die.” He tightened his hold on your throat slightly making you let out a small groan at the feeling.

“My worthy apprentice, son of darkness, heir apparent to Lord Vadar. Where there was conflict, I now sense resolve. Where there was weakness, strength. Complete your training and fulfill your destiny.”

Your back was turned to what was happening with Kylo and Rey. You tried to pull Snokes hand away to get a glimpse but he only tightened his hold. The only thing you could hear was heavy breathing and footsteps letting you know what was going to happen. Your heart began to race and you began to struggle in his hold even more.

“No Ben! Y-you kno-w th-is is wrong!” You managed to shout making Snoke choke you harder and a growl escape his lips.

“Shut up you, fool!” He exclaimed as he violently slapped you across the face before letting go of your throat and turning you and pushing you to Rey’s side. He didn’t need to say anything to Kylo or to you. You knew that Snoke wanted Kylo to kill you; he had warned you already, that’s why he placed you in front of Kylo instead of keeping you by his side.

Even if you were placed where you were, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of relief, as you no longer felt the air lack in your lungs. Even if your cheek now stung and you knew their was going to be bruises, you still let yourself have that relief— you gasped in the air that had lacked in your lungs but before you could compose yourself, you began to feel the same way as before. You felt as if your throat was being squeezed, making you once again struggle to breath. You put your hands up to your throat but their was no one gripping onto your throat, it was an invisible hold. Snoke was force choking you. He was going to kill you instead.

Kylo’s eyes met yours, before he quickly looked back at Rey, so Snoke, didn’t catch his interaction with you. Every word they uttered tuned out into the back of your head as you fought for air. Every passing second felt as if you were beginning to slip away; the struggle you tried to hold, slipping every second. Darkness was beginning to invade your sight....until you fell to the ground. Immediately gasping in the air around you. The darkness faded away, letting you see clearly again. You turned your head to see a lightsaber slicing Snoke in half. You quickly let yourself rest on your hands and knees, letting you gain back the little strength you still had, before you had to stand up to get ready to fight the guards that were already aiming their weapons at you.

Kylo, Rey and you shared an unspoken conversation before turning to be back to back to get ready to fight. You force pulled your lightsaber to your hands, quickly igniting them, revealing bright blue and white blades. A smirk slipping onto your lips as you flipped your lightsabers in your hands as the the guards came to attack.

The third guard with a sword like weapon swings his weapon at you, making you swing your head back to dodge his move before swinging back and clashing your white lightsaber with his sword. As you’re about to swing your blue saber to slice his torso, his weapon turns into a chain, and wraps around the end of your saber, immediately beginning to pull you forward. You plant your heels into the ground to make it harder on the guard, you try and slice his weapon but since the weapon is high tech it’s resistant against your blade.

Slowly you’re being dragged inch by inch towards the guard, you try and swing your blue saber to slice him in half but he steps back avoiding your swing. You want to try again but from the corner of your eye you see another guard coming your way. He swings his staff at you but you swing to the side; your eyes move from the guard that’s pulling you to him and the guard with the staff that’s trying to swing at you again. Before his blade cuts your leg, you freeze his movements and quickly before anything could happen you force throw him to the guard that was pulling you. At the impact his weapon releases yours, they try and get up but as they try you throw your saber and slice them causing them to drop to the floor.

Every part of your body hurt, some more than others. Fighting now only worsened the pain on your shoulder, adrenaline kicked in making it somewhat tolerable, but you still felt every muscle in your body scream at you to just rest. A nervous feeling began to set in as you saw Rey getting further and further away as you she began to fight off guards, you wanted to go help her but before you could, you felt someone coming from behind you. Quickly you swung your hands back over your head while crossing both of your sabers on your back to block the incoming hit.

A small growl escaped your lips as you try to push back the guard that was pushing down your sabers. In a swift motion you break apart the block you maintained and quickly trap his weapon between the both of yours and with a little use of the force you flip him over your head making him crash to the floor. Before he could get up you impale him in the chest—as you pull back your blue lightsaber from his chest you began to feel a more sharp pain coming from your stomach region, it felt like cramping pain but much worse. You placed your hand on top of your stomach as the pain increased but before you could identify what was going on you hear Kylo struggling behind you.

You spin to face him, only to see that three guards had surrounded him. Ignoring the sharp pain, you begin to move forward towards a guard, throwing your blue saber using the force to have it fly around to let go unnoticed. Just like you had thought the guard you were sneaking behind turns and blocks your swing. He tries pushing you back to try and gain the upper hand but all you do is smirk as your blue saber returns back to you whilst slicing his head off.

Still ignoring the pain you look over at Kylo who was now trapped under a guards hold. The both of you lock eyes before you throw your white saber towards him. He flinches as he thinks that your white blade is going to impale him but as it deactivates seconds before reaching him is when he understands what you were trying to do. He swiftly grabs the hilt and turns it back before igniting it and impaling the guards face, making him immediately loose his grip around Kylo’s throat and falling to the ground. Kylo searches your eyes, as if trying to have an unspoken conversation, but you quickly force pull back your lightsaber from his hand and turn to check on Rey.

The room is now silent, all the guards laying lifeless on the ground. Your breathing is shallow and the sharp pain coming from your stomach is still very much there. “The fleet. Order them to stop firing. There’s still time to save the fleet.” Rey shouts as she runs closer to the magnifying glass, pointing out what she was talking about. You walk closer to it, feeling your heart ache once again at the sight. Rey and you meet each others gaze letting you see the hope in her eyes. The hope she held for Kylo. You have hope for your brother to return, but as you feel the tension in the room you know that Kylo wasn’t intending to stop the fleet.

“Let’s go.” You mouth to Rey but she nods and walks forward. You swallow thickly as you turn to follow Rey’s retreating figure that walked closer to Kylo. You met Kylo’s gaze before he turned it away to look at Rey. In that instant, in that brief second you both had locked eyes, you knew what was about to come and what he was intending with Rey. His look had given it all away making your decision more difficult.

“Ben?” Rey questioned as she noticed the same look you had.

“It’s time to let old things die. Snoke, Skywalker, the Sith, the Jedi, the rebels..let it all die. Rey. I want you to join me.” Kylo offered his hand making your breath hitch and look between the two of them.

The anticipation to leave and help the fleet was killing you; all you wanted to do was leave but at the sound of Kylo’s offer to Rey you froze. Memory of the night when he offered you the same thing played in your head. You remember being so confused but at same time so convinced by his words, thinking that he wouldn’t lie to you, that every single word he said was true. You had fallen for his lies and accepted his offer to join him, a choice you had made that led you to a dark path you regret. A path that blinded you and scarred you emotionally. A path that had made you distance yourself from your brother and your real ambitions in life.

It was a path you wouldn’t want for anyone else, a path you didn’t want Rey to fall into because of Kylo. You couldn’t let him do that again.

“Join me.” Kylo offered his hand to Rey making you snap from your stupor and move closer to the pair. You felt and saw the conflict within Rey. You felt her wanting to reach for his hand only making you stop in your steps.

“Don’t, Rey. He’s lying, this is not Ben, this is Kylo. He’s lying, don’t listen to him. You mean something to me, you’re not a nobody to me. I can help you.” Her eyes flicker over to you and back to Kylo. Every word you had told her was sincere, even if you had struggled with your own conflict, you still had the feeling that you could help her, just like your grandfather helps you.

“Don’t listen to her, Rey. Join me....please.” Kylo argued his hand still out, waiting for her to take it.

“Rey..” You watched as she slowly extended her hand out, only making you get closer to her. “Rey, please. Don’t.” You pleaded, making her look at you. You pleaded again with your eyes, sharing an unspoken conversation that Kylo had quickly caught. Before either Rey or you could react he turned his hand and pulled Rey’s lightsaber away from her belt. In a blink of an eye, Rey reacted and fought for it, trying to pull it back to her.

You watched the interaction carefully, while also looking over your shoulder to see the fleet. Time was ticking and you couldn’t wait any longer. You needed to take Rey and leave before the fleet was completely destroyed. Your eyes moved back to the scene, letting you notice the lightsaber that was floating in between Kylo and Rey was shaking, a white hue was now in the middle, making you know that it couldn’t mean anything good. In a attempt to help Rey you outstretched your hand to stop whatever they were doing; before you could also add more force to the fight you felt something coming. You turned your head to where you were feeling the danger and before you could react you were sent flying back, making you immediately fall unconscious as you hit the floor.

-

“Ughh.” Slowly you begin to regain consciousness, taking in where you were and remembering what happened before. Pain quickly returning to your stomach as you woke up, this time feeling like you were being set on fire from within, your head began to ache and the bright light hurt your eyes letting you know that you had a concussion, only adding more injuries to your already injured self.

Your legs wobbled as you pushed yourself up, hastily feeling something warm trickle down your legs. You moved your eyes down to see what was traveling down your leg—the pants you had on, covered what it was, as soon as it went past the end of your pant leg you saw blood hitting the floor. Panic began to set, not knowing what was going on, you slightly lifted your leg only for more blood to hit the floor. The first thought that came to mind was your shoulder injury; perhaps your wound opened up and blood was traveling down your leg, but upon seeing your shoulder that was very much open and bloody, you noticed that the blood just mixed with the blood already going down your arm from the injuries acquired from the mechanical arms.

This is something else. You thought, your mind connecting your stomach pain to the blood but still leaving you clueless as you had not acquired a wound on your stomach.

“Y/N?” The sudden voice startled you, your eyes immediately falling on Rey, and letting you ignore your own troubles.

“Let’s go.” You responded walking up to her. Her eyes traveled to the blood you had left behind and to you, her face twisting into one of worry as she saw how you looked, so injured yet not letting it stop you. Almost like you were used to feeling this way; she couldn’t help but admire you for that, for continuing on, but she also worried for the same reason.

Rey followed behind you as you made your way to an escape shuttle you knew Snoke had not far away. Before making it far, the two of you stopped as you came across a still unconscious Kylo. You knelt down and instinctively checked for a pulse.

It was slow and weak but you felt it; letting you let out a sigh of relief. “Their isn’t anything we can do, he chose this, we can’t take him with us.” You informed Rey, knowing what she thought without her having to say anything.

“We better get going then, Chewie is waiting in the Falcon.”

You respond with a quick nod; as you tried to stand up to leave something hanging on Kylo’s belt caught your eye.

It was your blaster. The one your father had given you. The thought of having lost it forever had crossed your mind but you didn’t want to believe that. Thankfully you hadn’t. You took your blaster from his belt before struggling to get on your feet. Rey helped you up, making you shoot her a small thankful smile.

“Are you okay?” She asked her eyes seeing the blood that dropped by your feet. You followed her gaze but chose to ignore it, having bigger problems at hand at the moment.

“Yes. Let’s go.”

-

Golden dices. Dad’s lucky dices. You thought as you pulled the dices into your hand. Your eyes watering as you tightened them in your palm.

“I wish you were here.” You whispered as your thumb traced the lining on them. A low growl made you whip your head back to see Chewie standing at the doorway of the cockpit. Immediately placing a jacket on your shoulders, motioning you to put it on, and worrying about how it was cold for you just to be in light clothing.

Your nose scrunched up at the weird smell from the leather jacket. It smelled like it’s been put away for years. The jacket was a brown suede leather jacket with black patches on the shoulders, both colors faded from longtime use, while also showing how old it was. You tugged back the sleeves that were long on your arms, in fact, the jacket was just big on you in general. “How old is this thing?” You complained making Chewie shrug his shoulders before wrapping you in tight hug. “I’m okay, Chewie.” You assured the Wookiee only for him to continue worrying. “No really, I’ll be okay. I’ll bandage all my wounds when we find the fleet, okay?”

He growled still worried and making you promise that you would do just that. Their was no time now to worry about yourself even if blood still traveled down your leg and you began to feel lightheaded.

You turned back to the pilot seat and let a small smile grow on your lips. Finally managing to get on the ship had surprised you, since before you couldn’t even look at the ship. Now you were glad you had, and glad that Chewie was letting you pilot the ship.

“Crait right? That’s where Rey said they were?” Chewie nodded in agreement as he sat on the co-pilot seat next to you. “Let’s go then.”

-

“Rey! You got three neatly lined up straight ahead! Ready?!” You explained with an excited smile as you quickly flew closer to the TIE fighters.

“Way ahead of you!”

Perfect shot.

“Yes! Nice one!”

You quickly pull up and pass the blown up TIE’S. Chewie growls in excitement followed by the weird creature from Ahch-To.

“Whoo! I like this!” Rey shouted over the comm.

You looked at the view ahead, seeing red lining that was made by the old speeders the resistance were using. Something in you knew that Poe was among the people below in those old things. The anticipation to see him only grew as you were now in the same planet. Then again you hesitated on getting to see him as you knew he would have a million questions on your physical state. If you could hide all your wounds you would, so he wouldn’t worry, but him seeing you was inevitable and the wounds you acquired impossible to hide.

“Y/N, Chewie, peel off from the battle. Draw them away from the speeders!” Rey instructed, letting a smug like smile grow on your features.

“Way ahead of you.” You joked letting you hear Rey chuckle at your comment and for Chewie to laugh too; but to also see you with a sad and happy look as you reminded him so much of his old longtime friend. He saw that you both had the same smile, piloting skills and way to joke with people even in troubled times. The jacket you wore only reminding him so much more, as Han had once wore the same jacket long ago.

Quickly as you drew away all the TIE’S from the battle you dove down into some red caves. Swiftly maneuvering through the cave and wincing as you heard the gun at the bottom of the ship scrape the wall of the cave. Rey shouted making you apologize but also letting her know that the cave was narrow. Once you got to a wider part of the cave you picked up speed, flying directly towards a big red crystal that connected from the top and bottom of the cave.

Chewie growled at you, warning you of the incoming danger, only for you to speed up faster. The weird creature cried as he was thrown to the window from the speed; Chewie pushed it away, out of his line of sight, followed by him growling louder to warn you. Before you could crash into the red salt crystal you did a quick trick to get out of the way and for the two TIES to crash into the red salt crystal instead. “Whooo!” You shout in excitement as you throw one hand up in celebration.

You flew up and came face to face with a dead end. “Let’s hope this wall isn’t that thick.” You mumbled as you sped up successfully breaking the wall and getting you out of the cave.

Getting rid of the few leftover TIES was easy, they lacked aiming skills to take down this big ship which was lucky for you. Finding your way back was trickier though. Rey had made her way up to the cockpit to help and Chewie let her be co-pilot instead.

“Nice flying.” Rey complimented as she sat next to you.

“Nice shooting.” You fired back making her smile before you both turned back to look straight ahead. You heard her lips part to say something else but quickly stopped herself. You looked to your side and saw as she looked as if almost entranced by something and as you were about ask you felt everything zone out. You felt a new presence. It was. Luke’s. Rey and you shortly after, met each others gaze knowing you both had felt the same thing.

Neither of you commented anything about it, instead you both kept looking for the resistance.

-

“Lifting rocks.” You heard Rey say to herself as she came to stand next to you.

“He told you that the force wasn’t all about lifting rocks didn’t he?” You ask Rey both knowing exactly you who were referring to.

“Yeah he did.” A small laugh escaped from both of your lips.

“Well it looks like in this instant it is about lifting rocks...do you want to do it? Or should I?” You ask as you turn to look at her slightly.

“Together.” She says letting you have a smile much like her own. You take a step forward, taking a deep breath as you both lift one hand, the rocks lifting up, clearing a entrance of the cave that had been covered. You strain your eyes as you begin to feel disoriented, not letting that stop you, your eyes search ahead finally spotting the man you had been looking for. His face looks in awe as he watched the rocks floating up, when he spots you ahead he smiles widely.

With a smile much like his you both begin to walk towards each other, every slightest movement you make has your head spinning, like at any moment you would just collapse. The pain in your stomach never vanishing only increasing. The blood had stopped traveling down your leg making you feel somewhat relieved but still worried on what was going on with you.

But again you shoved away your own worry as Poe was inches away. You spot Finn copying Poe’s pace to meet Rey who was still behind you. You offered him a small smile as he passed by you, instantly feeling happy to see that he was well, not compared to when you last saw him.

As you’re about to wrap Poe in a tight hug, your knees buckle before you making you begin to fall to ground making Poe catch you in time.

“Y/N?!” His voice calling out to you sounded miles away, as you felt yourself loosing consciousness. Again. “Y/N? Baby, what’s wrong?!” His thumb ghosted over your fresh bruises, more worrying setting within him. “I need a Med pack!”

The last thing you see is Poe’s worried expression as he picked you up, putting one arm under your knees and the other one around your back, he pulls you close to him as he rushes to take you into the Falcon. The pain slowly disappeared before falling unconscious.

-

“Poe?!” You swiftly sit up as if you had just had a nightmare. Your eyes scan the area, panicked until you identify where you’re at.

“Yeah! I’m right here.” He calls out as he jumps up to his feet at the sound of your voice. You turn and see him, making you smile and your shoulders fall until you notice his eyes are red from what it looks like to be crying.

“What’s...wrong?” You question your smile turning into a frown. He proceedes to hold your hand and plant a gentle kiss on your knuckles. “Poe?” You persist as he stays silent.

It takes him a minute before he sits back down on his seat, his hand and eyes never leaving yours. “Did you know?”

Panic slowly begins to present itself in you. Your eyebrows furrowing in confusion at what he was trying to get at. “Did I know what?”

He sighs and drops his head, scratching his forehead with his thumb. His deep breath is shaky before he lifts his eyes to meet yours again, making you notice tears welled up in his eyes.

“The reason why you fell unconscious was because...was...you really didn’t know?”

“Poe, you’re scaring me, didn’t know what?” His grip around your hand tightens. He opens his mouth to say something but he shuts it again. You’re about to push further but when you see your mother come to view with the same look is when your eyes begin to water. “What’s going on? Someone please tell me!”

“Honey, the reason why you fell unconscious was because you suffered a miscarriage...” Your mothers words echo through your mind, the next words she spoke disappear into the back of your head as you try and process what she had announced. It all made sense now; the pain and the blood. How could you be so clueless...how did you not know. It should’ve been obvious, you should have felt it or sensed it..but you didn’t feel or sense anything.

She explains why you hadn’t noticed, trying to bring comfort to you, saying that it’s common not to know right away; explaining that the child you had lost wasn’t Force sensitive giving reasoning to why you also didn’t notice. You tried to process her words, to let them comfort you but it seemed like nothing could. Seeing Poe so distraught made you feel worse; it was rare to see him this way and now seeing him this way broke your heart.

The fact that most of the resistance was gone and your uncle Luke was gone too made your sad state increase tenfold.

You couldn’t save your uncle but you could’ve saved the resistance...you could’ve saved your child. But you didn’t...you were so blinded by your own anger, darkness, revenge that you lost.

You couldn’t blame Snoke, or....Kylo. None of it was their fault...you had gone to the first order knowing what could happen. You put yourself at that risk and failed the resistance and....Poe.

All you could do...was blame yourself.

.

.

.

.

(A/N-So for the part of y/n you know losing the baby.. I know it was a last minute add on and their was little to no foreshadowing in it but I came up with the idea like last minute (I hate that I did)... but I do hope you guys like how I tried for all of it to make sense!! And the reason I did what I did is because theirs always consequences to actions and also because it will add problems to future parts. I really hope you liked this part! Leave your thoughts.)

Tagged- @treblebeth , @mcrvellouslystcrk , @themythicallifeofesmerelda , @thescarletknight2014 , @sfnari , @bitch-imma-head-out , @arsonistvoyager , @chloe-skywalker , @emotionalcal , @theholycakehole , @justxriot , @stvrdustalexx , @the-dream-catch3r , @theoralpha , @sleepyblossom , @basically-hayley , @iamaunicorn4704 , @sneekygeek , @carisiswaistcoat , @creativelyquestioninglife , @daniellajocelyn , @wnygirl2012 , @imjusttryingtocatchavibe , @holy-kylo-stars , @patdsinner33 , @avmps , @xxrouge-lexxx , @x-thunderbird-x , @kaelyn-lobrutto24 , @winter-scolder , @constantdisgrace , @valeecruz16

[theoriginalsuki]

Because if you like what I write, we probably have the same taste!

There’s a glut of well-written, well-crafted post-TROS Star Wars fanfiction out there, from fix-it to AU’s – not that I’m complaining! – but I’m-a just throw out some of the ones that have hit my sweet spot.  Please reblog!  It keeps the fic life cycle going.

Complete

The Ocean: A TFA Divergence by Journeying_Jane

I’m a die-hard TFA Kylo Ren fangirl (it’s my favourite of the trilogy, I know), and this divergence tugs the threads unravelled in the interrogation scene to a very satisfying conclusion, re: Rey and Kylo see their shared future a lot sooner, before the elevator scene in TLJ, and start to understand what they mean to one another.  Soooooo good.  (Rated G)

Air and Water by Flaignhan

The tender and thorough examination of Ben and Rey’s relationship, what it is, how it completes her, and their wholesome being-together that we ache for across three films.  Better than cozying up with a hot cup of cocoa on a rainy day.  (Rated G)

What She’s Worth by g_girl143

If Rey had been taken in by the Jedi Academy as a child and basically raised by Ben Solo.  Hear me out.  This love story is innocent and organic and is so well navigated that by the end you’re just like, yeah, of course, there was no other way that could have happened.  The *potential* is what it gives us.  I need to read it again, slowly and to savour, and happily await the sequel!  (Rated T)

Dead Space by Solia

Kylo Ren sacrifices himself to save Rey when they are stranded in a malfunctioning ship.  If you’re like me, and you like angsty grand gestures of love more than sexy times, this one is gourmet Reylo.  I’m so into the not-looking-directly at their feelings and extending that sweet pain for as looooong as possible.  Because, one brain cell!  (Rated G)

Paradise by englishable

Post-TROS, the only epilogue I will accept (except for Cleave, also by englishable).  Ben is brought to trial; Rey stands by him throughout; they figure out how to go on together.  It’s so wholesome and satisfying.  Let the healing begin!  (Rated M)

Near Kinsman by englishable

In post-Civil War America, Rey answers a bachelor ad and the most classically romantic love story since the Brownings unfolds.  (Rated T)

Delicious Ambiguity by Juulna

Some people like smut.  I like dangerous male-types harnessing their aggression toward protecting women and their unborn children.  That’s hot.  Some good TFA Kylo Ren being inexplicably soft with Rey and her Force-conceived twins.  Both of them have issues.  Both of them really, really love those babies.  It earns the happily ever after, which you know I appreciate so much in a fic.  (Rated M)

until you return to me by lovefrompluto

Rey accesses the WBW and looks in on every incarnation of Ben, all the lives they live together.  Such a cool meta on fanfics with a satisfying ending, giving Rey the agency she was denied in TROS.  (Rated M)

Killing Me Softly by AlbaStarGazer

I’m not a big AU person but the premise of this is so good and works really well with the characters as we know them in canon.  I also really appreciate a fic that isn’t afraid to look at the work of love.  

Ben and Rey, childhood sweethearts, married, are put to the test for three years after Ben gets in a terrible accident and forgets Rey.  She’s won’t give up on him, but she’s too hung up on the past.  He’s in love with her but afraid that all she sees is a memory, and not the person he is now.  Some really good character study and hurt/comfort with a happy ending.

WIP’s

The Argent Coda by BetweenTownleys

A deeply involved and well thought-out fix-it that makes me soft.  It’s not happily ever after (yet) and I am 100 percent okay with that.  The Force bond intimacy between Ben and Rey hurts soooooo good!  (Not Rated)

Conversations by acowlorsomething (suchlostcreatures)

Takes place after TLJ and moves effortlessly into the kind of interaction we want to see between Maybe-Ben and Rey.  Okay, what *I* want.  Nothing too easy, nothing too sexy, more of the same of the tender conflict we got from The Last Jedi, playing out in a believable way.  (Not Rated)

Bride of Fortune by SharKohen

Cute arranged marriage AU.  Rey is supposed to be a lucky bride.  So Leia Organa-Solo brings her into the household as her son’s wife.  They’re only young, so will they have time to chose one another before the age of consummation?  (Rated T)

Chains by Veggieheist

Rey is a slave on Jakku.  Kylo Ren picks up on her Force sensitivity and “buys” her.  Cue side comments from everyone that he just wants to sleep with her,  to which he is bewildered and frustrated.  Kylo doesn’t understand why someone so powerful would act so lowly, but when he pushes Rey hard, he finds out there’s more to her than he bargained for.  Or did he see it all along?  (Rated M)

hear my plea (and come save my life) by nouveaulove

Rey finds Ben alive but with amnesia.  I’m so soft for pining and protective Rey having to woo back Ben.  (Rated M)

Halfway, Between The Black and Grey. by PunkForTheMoment

Anakin helps Rey go back in time to the interrogation scene in TFA and she is anything but smooth.  Inspired by that meme.  Very promising!

My Fic

Epilogues by TheOriginalSuki

My initial self-help fic in the wake of The Rise of Skywalker.  Kinda dream-like with a hazy plot that is basically me just making myself feel better.  Maybe you too?  Some mature content, I don’t think it’s smutty, though.  (Rated M)

Rey goes into self-imposed exile on Tatooine.  After refusing to let Ben go, they break the laws of physics to be the family to one another they never had.  Healing can at last begin.

Battlefield by TheOriginalSuki

After The Rise of Sywalker I could see things getting worse before they got better.  If Kylo Ren had buckled down on the darkness after soul-crushing rejection from Rey and the trauma of seeing Luke again, how in the world would he walk back from that?  I’ve got it tagged “dominant Kylo Ren” but I’m not into abusive stuff, so don’t expect that!  I do however love the angst.  (Rated T)

Kylo Ren took the galaxy, and Kylo Ren takes Rey.  There’s nothing left for him to accomplish, Vader’s vision is complete – only he’s still in pain.  And no matter how he manoeuvres around the scavenger girl, it’s not easing up.

what stars are made of by TheOriginalSuki

Me trying to make a place to dump one-shots and dead-end ideas and probably failing.  Every time I pull a thread of “how things could have gone” in this universe, a whole world unravels!  Oops!  The tone of this one is completely different, inspired by the adorkable Ben Solo we got a glimpse of in TROS, and how he and Rey’s relationship plays out afterward.  (Not Rated)

Rey has a minor objection to being abducted.  Good thing Ben didn’t ask her, then!

The Stray by TheOriginalSuki for itsinthestars

Written for the RFFA fic exchange.  A modern AU!  (Rated T)

Rey moves in across the hall from Ben; a former foster kid alone in the city, aspiring to be an actress. Ben is a ladder-climbing white collar businessman with a horrible boss and zero social life. Which is just the way he likes it. So why in the world has this insufferable creature made it her life’s work to adopt him? From sharing her dinner to doing his laundry, she seems determined to make a connection. In the end, it’s easier for Ben to just let her. But opening up means letting your heart be vulnerable.

Hiraeth by TheOriginalSuki

A passion project.  I even have a plan!  Bonus – there’s Tai!  (Rated M)

Rey crosses over the World Between Worlds and finds herself in a time before Kylo Ren.  it’s been twelve years since her Ben dies, and she’s achingly in love.  But he has no idea who she is.

Beatrice by TheOriginalSuki for englishable

Illustrates the principle that good art generates good art.  Rinse.  Repeat.  (Raged G)

A brief character study from Ben Solo’s point of view, encompassing the three films and then a positive resolution.

[we-are-what-they-grow-beyond]

some seriously self indulgent TROS thoughts that no one asked for: spoilers ahead!

(i’m gonna try tag every spoiler tag I can think of just in case anyone out there does care, but tbh this is really just for me lol)

the following is going to be a very ‘off the cuff’ series of ramblings so I apologise if it’s all over the place 

Overall.. I think I liked it? I left the cinema feeling euphoric, which is honestly all I wanted from ix. While there were very few immediate things that I took offence to as I was watching it [unlike TLJ] I have a bad feeling that some doubts about certain scenes and character choices are gonna creep into my brain in the next few days. Like the longer I think about it, the worse it’s gonna get.

The beginning was a mess. I think every single person who has seen it can agree on that much. There was so much exposition and heavy handed course correction from TLJ that it felt laboured and disjointed. The pacing was at this crazy breakneck speed.. we must have visited at least six different planets in the first fifteen minutes. I think that Poe’s ‘hyperdrive jumping’ [?] sequence really set the tone for the first act - just a constant barrage of different locations and characters.

And I understand that they had to do this. The events of TLJ left them no choice, they needed to establish every main character’s position [both physically and mentally], portray the current state of the war as well as rebuild a believable rapport between our core trio all within the first fifteen minutes if they wanted to give the last act any chance of sticking the landing. And to some extent I think they achieved this. In all that running around on different planets, bickering amongst the trio and the funny asides from Threepio - it really felt like something straight out of the OT. For the first time since TFA I cared about these characters. 

However. In doing this, they continually broke the cardinal rule of screenwriting; show don’t tell. While watching the first act I felt weighed down with information, like every five seconds another character would pop in with a monologue that sent them on another wild goose chase in which they had to find another hundred things that I would inevitably struggle to remember. ‘So now they need to go here, to see where Luke went, because he wanted to find this guy, who has this object, that will bring them to this other place, so that they can see Palpatine?’ It was so heavily reliant on dialogue alone that it ultimately lead to this sense of utter messiness. 

Where the film thrived was in it’s action set pieces. I adored the way the force was portrayed in this film. The scene in the desert in which Ben [yes Ben, but more on that later] and Rey pulled that First Order Transport out of the sky sent shivers down my spine. We have never seen the force used like this before and the amount of power Rey held was absolutely staggering. I loved it.

The saber battle on top of the Death Star was a visual highlight. Even though I felt like I’d seen most of it in TV Spots the urgency never went away. The moodiness of the water and mist cut through by the blue and red light was beautiful. 

The one shot of Poe, Finn and Chewie running through the Destroyer hallway felt like an echo back to everything that lies at the heart and soul of this saga.

We’ve been begging for more space battles and boy did we get a good one. When Lando and Chewie sauntered in on the Falcon with their thousands of rebel support ships set to the theme I was sobbing. There were so many little references in that one shot, from Rebels to Resistance to even Wedge Antilles - My heart swelled. 

But where I really broke was on Ahch-To. One of my biggest gripes with TLJ was its treatment of Luke. Every time I watch it again that shot of his submerged X wing infuriates me beyond measure as Johnson never chose to do anything with it [despite there being an obvious answer]. We finally got that scene in this film, the scene I was so desperate for; a callback to perhaps my favourite moment in the whole skywalker saga entangled with an apology for TLJ’s treatment of our favourite jedi master. Set to Yoda’s Theme, I felt like for a split second like I was watching Empire, and that meant the world to me. Thank you J.J.

The characterisation is perhaps the most divisive part of the film for me. It took so many risks, it’s going to take quite some time for me to properly digest them all. 

I want to start with our beloved Leia. The CGI, although perhaps not quite as seamless as some reviewers are making it out to be, worked well enough. With the knowledge of Carrie’s passing, it’s easy to poke holes in the performance - I found the beginning of her screen time particularly jarring, with her mostly addressing Rey with one word answers. I knew that there was supposed to be an emotional weight to all her scenes, as there she was, our princess, somehow miraculously on our screens for one final time. But I didn’t cry. I didn’t feel as if she was truly there in body or soul, and the emotional power of her scenes suffered as a result. Maybe in time, as we forget about the circumstances under which this film had to be made, this obvious detachment might fade away. And I sincerely hope it does, because the backstory they gave her is what truly deserves to be remembered about Leia in this film. The flashback scene of her training with Luke was glorious, the cgi really worked well here, and for the first time we saw Leia as a fully fledged jedi. This is something I could never ever have even imagined and I’m so pleased they did it, it would have meant so much to me as a young girl. As for her death, I believe they did the best they could with it. She ultimately died saving her son, protecting both the light and her family - two themes that have been so central to this entire forty two year saga. I don’t think they could have done much more. 

I was shocked to see Harrison in this, surprised isn't even the right word. But this bewilderment that I felt thankfully didn’t overshadow his integral role in the so called ‘Bendemption’ arc, in fact I think it really tied the whole thing together nicely. I have hated the idea of Kylo’s possible redemption since the moment we found out his true heritage during TFA, I thought it was too simple, too obvious. But the way in which it was dealt with here was wonderful. It showed Kylo to be entirely complex and ambiguous, and at the end of it we saw Ben for what he was, a young and vulnerable young man who ultimately made some terrible choices, the conflict in him was brilliantly acted. It was ultimately his parents that pulled him back to the light, not just Rey, and that fact alone saved this story arc for me. 

[I refuse to talk about the kiss. I hated it. It didn’t need to happen.]

Rey is a difficult one. Was the Palpatine bloodline convenient? Yes. Terribly so. Did it make sense story wise? Only kind of. But, I think it drew a definitive line under the nine film conflict which was ultimately at its core just Skywalker vs Palpatine, so in that sense I’m happy it happened in the way it did. 

[Sheev on an aesthetic level looked dreadful I thought. Proper rubbery. And the logistics of how he survived/who all those chanting followers were/where he got all those Imperial star destroyers from is extremely questionable. I try not to dwell on it.]

My mixed feelings about Finn and Poe cannot be overstated. The film did a good job at giving them more to do, we really got to see John and Oscar bounce off each other and at the end of the day, that is my kryptonite. However, Finn had little to no character development throughout the whole trilogy. All he did was figure out that he didn’t want to be aligned with the First Order anymore, deciding he wanted to fight for what is right. But the thing is, we saw him make that decision about ten minutes into TFA. It didn’t need to be rehashed again and again in every film. We wanted more - we wanted him to be force sensitive, we wanted him to form meaningful connections with others. On some level they delivered on that, we saw a little force sensitivity, he got his own back with Hux, he found his tribe in Jannah and the other deserters.. but it felt like an afterthought. Nothing was ever dwelled upon- even his confession to Rey [whatever it was] was completely forgotten about in the end. Finn as a whole felt like an afterthought. 

[Don’t even get me started on Rose, Kelly deserved so much more. I was embarrassed by the amount of screen time she had.]

As for Poe.. Oscar did a brilliant job in this, he successfully harkened back to our favourite scoundrel Han Solo stereotype and I felt that gave the trio’s dynamic a clear anchor. His interactions with both Finn, Threepio and Chewie as he kept crashing the falcon really made me laugh, it was nice to have some actual humour littered throughout, unlike the goofy slapstick stuff in TLJ. But.. the Zorii love interest and backstory made zero sense canonically. Zero. Aside from the ‘can i kiss you’ stuff being extremely contrived, there is physically no actual way Poe could have ever been a spice runner on this new planet that I can’t remember the name of. He lived on Yavin his whole life until he came of age to join the New Republic Navy, and from there Leia recruited him into the Resistance. This much has been documented in countless books and comics. J.J really decided to throw that all away so that they could what.. get that universal key thing? Did they even use it? Was there any other point of Zorii’s character other than that key? Not really. Don’t try to tell me that Kes and Shara’s son ran away from home to become a criminal for no reason. Just don’t. [He was still wearing Shara’s ring throughout and they didn’t do anything with it.. I wonder will we get more of an answer to this in the novelisation?]

[While I’m on the subject of the comics and novels, the decision to kill off Snap was brave. I really loved him in the comics and I’m sad he’s now gone and Karé is now alone. Not that any of that was mentioned but-]

Lando was used just the correct amount. I’m happy he got the ‘I have a bad feeling about this’ line, and I think any more screen time and we could have seen some holes in Billy’s performance. [sorry Billy]

Chewie had some great moments in this surprisingly. He was essentially just an extra in TLJ so it was quite refreshing to have him be a key player again. [I had forgotten about the clips from the trailer that showed him aboard the Destroyer, so when he ‘died’ I really thought he was dead for a moment and I was so angry that that was how he went lol.] But his reaction to Leia’s death was so touching and although it was a tad fan-servicey, I loved the fact that he finally got the medal he missed out on in ANH. It made me chuckle.

The same can be said of Anthony Daniels as C3PO and all of the other droids. I felt as though they really clawed them back into the mix this time - Threepio’s worrisome queries were wonderfully nostalgic and not to mention hilarious, and D-0 was a great new addition. The droids always brought a levity to star wars, it was their job, and they did this to great effect in this film. There was some questionable switching around of R2 and BB8 which I didn’t appreciate - there is absolutely no way that BB8 wouldn’t be Poe’s astromech for the battle against the Final Order but I’m willing to let it slide.. [also why was he on Tatooine with Rey at the end?]

It really sounds like I had more problems with this film than highlights, and I promise that’s not the case. In the end, it made me feel happy, like I was watching something akin to the OT again, and yes some parts of it were clumsy, but the heart of it was there. It all really comes down to whether or not you believe a film must be ‘good’ in order to be.. good. With something as big and sentimental as star wars I think it’s a lot more complicated than that. Return of the Jedi was an utter mess- but yet we all still worship it and the characters it gave us. Why can’t the same thing be said for TROS? It was clunky, but it was surprising, and powerful and fun. It gave us the characters we loved and some interesting new ones, some top-tier lightsaber battles and a conclusive ending to the saga that has defined so many lives. At the end of the day I think that’s all it needed to be. 

[youremyonlyhope]

The Last Jedi

Here we go. The most controversial Star Wars movie ever (unless Rise of Skywalker has reviews that are just as mixed. I haven’t read any so I don’t know how it’s been received yet.) I actually really really enjoyed the Last Jedi, but I haven’t rewatched it since I saw it in theaters.

Also, unrelated, but literally just a few hours ago I met Oscar Isaac. I was doing a caroling event where I work, and he came by with his son to watch. During one of our breaks, he asked if his son could try the microphone and he held him up so he could whisper and sing stuff into the mic. It was adorable.

I seemed to be the only person who recognized who he was, though one of my co-workers said he had thought so too but he wasn’t sure until I confirmed it. So I went up to Oscar and said hi, asked if he was Oscar Isaac, shook his hand, and thanked him for coming. He says that it was great and that his son loves to sing.

I always joked that I’d bump into Oscar one day since he lives in Brooklyn, but I didn’t think it’d actually happen. And not while I’m wearing a Star Wars shirt and Star Wars socks (which he obviously couldn’t see since I was bundled up in a coat and a scarf and boots but whatever). And definitely not the day before I’m supposed to see the Rise of Skywalker.

I’m still freaking out oh my god. Ok. Time to rewatch the Last Jedi.

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away... This was the first Star Wars movie I’d seen in theaters in like 12 years at this point. Seeing those words on a giant screen again was amazing. “Certain that Jedi Master Luke Skywalker will return and restore a spark of hope to the fight.” I love that line. I love any and all comparisons of Luke to hope. Yes I am biased. But also, restoring the spark is exactly he does in the end so yes, I love it. It’s just now hitting me that we’re picking up exactly where we left off. Having 1 night between the two movies is every different than having 2 years. ...Was that whatsherface from Game of Thrones, Catelyn’s creepy sister? (IMDB says yes) *BB8 beeps* “Happy beats here buddy, come on.” BB8 sort of said the thing! Also, OH MY GOD I JUST MET OSCAR ISAAC AND NOW HERE HE IS ON MY SCREEN WHAT THE HELL. Was today even real? Oh General Hugs. “Skinny guy. Kinda pasty.” Knowing Oscar and Domnhall are friends makes this better. Oh BB8. Very honorable of Billie Lourd’s Lieutenant Connix to make sure she’s in the last ship leaving the base so everyone else leaves before her. I forgot about the chain reaction of bombs destroying their own Resistance ships... You know, Paige dying while dropping the last of the bombs was already emotional. Rewatching it after you know she’s Rose’s sister makes it worse. First Binary Sunset of the movie. General Hugs has a very good upset face that makes me not feel bad for him at all. More like I want to punch him. Snoke can use the Force across the galaxy... forgot about that. I realized I didn’t mention this in the last one, but I remember the crew complaining that when they filmed the end of Force Awakens it was a cloudy day, but then when they went back to the island for TLJ it was super sunny. And now that it’s been pointed out, I noticed it immediately. Luke throwing the lightsaber. I can’t remember if I was spoiled for this but I feel like when I watched it, I wasn’t that thrown off by it. Something else I didn’t mention at the end of Force Awakens is that I LOVE this set. The stone houses are amazing. Oh porgs. Also, that porg looking into the lightsaber always gives me anxiety. The first words we hear Luke say in 40 years are an annoyed “Go away.” which at least is less whiney than the Tosche Station. Oh Chewie’s like “DUDE. WE NEED YOU.” “Wait... where’s Han?” Awww. Throwing in a little Vader’s theme in there. More temper tantrums. People getting mad at Luke calling a lightsaber a laser sword (in a purposefully mocking way) even though George Lucas himself called them that in some interviews. Yes, it’s not a laser sword, but Luke is trying to show how ridiculous he thinks the idea of him taking down everything is by calling a lightsaber that. I remember being like “Luke... no let’s not just milk that thing... oh ew” I do love the shot of Luke using the giant stick to cross to the other cliff and kill the fish. God that’s a steep hill. “No one’s from nowhere.” “Jakku.” “Alright that is pretty much nowhere.” That’s funny. “It’s time for the Jedi to end.” Remember when that line in the trailer made the fandom literally break down? I love knowing that behind the scenes, Carrie had to slap Oscar a billion times. Also, I do not blame Leia at all. So many people were mad about Leia and Holdo demoting Poe, but Poe was too fearless in that moment. Yes, he destroyed the ship and it worked out, but they lost so many people and they already didn’t have many to begin with. It was worth it, but at a very high cost. So I don’t blame her. Heyyyyyy it’s that girl from that Black Mirror episode and what was that other show? Chewing Gum or something? (IMDB says yes it’s Michaela Coel) See and Poe’s already learning a little by asking permission. Of course... later on he doesn’t ask permission... but whatever. Leia’s Theme... causing me pain. Oh, Kylo didn’t kill his mom. We’re supposed to be happy about that? The bar is on the ground. The utter horror I felt the first time the control room was destroyed and Leia was pulled into space. Oh I love the moment when Leia flies in. Because I’d heard that in the books and comics, we get to explore Leia’s Force abilities and stuff but we don’t get it in the movies besides “I feel that Luke’s in trouble.” Which sucks, because she is the “other” if Luke didn’t work out, so she’s just as strong as Luke if she got trained. They should have just trained both kids honestly, why did they pick the boy? Not saying Obi-Wan and Yoda are sexist... but they’re probably sexist. Also, foreshadowing. I actually noticed the hologram of the ship and Leia flying through this time. Oh Chewie. I like the porg that literally has his jaw dropped in horror. Knowing now that the dice were kind of a symbol of Kira (was that Emilia Clarke’s character?) and Han’s relationship makes me not like them as much. Still, cute throwback that they’re still on the Falcon. We can just ignore they weren’t there in Force Awakens (I kept an eye out and didn’t see them) The way Luke laughed when he said “R2!” I just... my heart. “Nothing can make me change my mind” *R2 plays the Leia hologram* I literally just went “AWWWW” out loud because I forgot that that’s why R2 started playing it. Oh my heart. That hurt the first time. Luke standing over Rey, but offering to help her. Parallels. Oh Admiral Ackbar. I love Holdo’s dress. I love the draping. Someone teach me how to make it. “Thank you for making me aware.” Yeah Poe, she already knows. Stop mansplaining. This is literally a case of mansplaining, why would Poe think he’d have to explain to a commander that there’s no fuel? Yeah it’s a little harsh, but is Holdo wrong? All of these fanboys complain about Canto Bight, but forget that it was Poe’s idea. Then they go and say Holdo was too mean should have put Poe in charge. Guys. Poe’s impulsive. We love him, but he’s the ultimate Gryffindor with no fear and will just do anything without considering consequences. I do wish Holdo had been more open like “I have a plan. You don’t need to know all the parts of it. Just let me do what I need to, ok?” instead of “Just follow my orders.” but still. Oh poor Rose. “Doing talking....” Oh she’s so cute. “I’ve had to stun 3 people trying to use this escape pod.” We love a girl who can fight. Yeah. Once again. Not mad at Rose. Finn does have some selfish tendencies, he’s well meaning but ultimately selfish (or at least, only thinking of Rey). So I do not blame Rose for stunning him.

And now I will take a nap since I have to go to a show tonight. And then I will finish the last 3/4-ish of the movie when I get home later.

Annnnd I’m back!

See. Rose has good reason to be mad at deserters. Ok so it wasn’t Poe’s idea to go to the Star Destroyer it was Finn’s. I will give him that. But still Poe went along with it. “That... wasn’t exactly my...” Oh 3PO. I wish Maz had had a bigger scene. More Lupita please. I have one question: from what angle is this hologram filmed? And how does the camera follow her? I guess it’s multiple hologram cameras, but still, it followed her as she rolled and ran around. Also, did Finn call Maz or did Poe call her? Because as far as we know, only Finn knows her. It seemed like they both had the idea to call her, but that Poe had it first. Did Finn tell Poe about Maz? I’m glad they showed Finn handing Poe the binary tracker thing, since for a second I was like “What if Rey had popped up next to Finn on the Star Destroyer?” I’m glad Rey’s first instinct is to shoot Kylo. “Can you see my surroundings?” “You’re gonna pay for what you did.” “I can’t see yours.” Why do I remember that line so vividly? Why does it make me feel so unsettled? Rey, my sweet Rey, I wish you had just told Luke that you saw Kylo. I love Luke’s explanation of the Force. And him messing with Rey was funny. I love when Rey’s reaching out and feeling life, death, peace, violence, etc. And I love Luke saying the Force doesn’t belong to the Jedi, because it doesn’t. The Jedi failed years ago. “You didn’t even try to stop yourself.” Luke’s horrified. But also, Rey’s just like an extreme version of Luke. Yoda knew that Luke’s emotions could make him vulnerable to the dark side, Rey’s already vulnerable. Yeah, I don’t blame Luke for being scared of Rey after he feels like this is Ben all over again. Oh my god. I love the porg that has a metal piece over its head. That actually made me laugh out loud. Poor Chewie.

I just had to refresh tumblr because my draft wasn’t saving. It brought me back to my dashboard. Where there was a spoiler for the new movie and it wasn’t tagged. PLEASE tag your spoilers people.

The water hitting Kylo still confuses me. Say what you will about the Canto Bight plot... the costumes are AMAZING. The costumes literally make the whole side plot worth it to me. Literally I was just in awe by all the costumes during every single scene. And the set! The set’s fantastic too! I literally just paused every single second to take in all of the costumes. Do I care if the Canto Bight trip ended up pointless? Nope! Because it gave me some of Star Wars’ best costumes. Oh... to be an extra in the Canto Bight scene... Just show up... And put on a beautiful outfit... And do nothing else but pretend to drink, talk, and gamble... That’s the dream. Oh hi Mark Hamill! That was cute that they let him voice that little thing. I remember noticing the thing and being like “...is he important?” and nope, it’s just Mark doing an extra voice. Oh I love the Fathiers. Aww and it’s the little Force sensitive boy. I have thoughts about that kid that I can get into later. The way BB8 jingles with the coins. I love it.

Rey: *Does a move with her stick* Rey: *Does the same exact move with the lightsaber* Fanboys: She’s too good too fast! Mary Sue!

As I said throughout all of the Force Awakens, she’s just applying the skills she already had. If anything, a lightsaber’s easier since it’s half the length and she doesn’t have to worry about the back of it hitting her. LOL, remember when we thought this shot was an epic shot of Luke training her? Good times. Oh that poor fish nun. Everything Luke says about the Jedi is true (also did I not say they failed earlier in the post? Luke agrees with me). Rey’s right that a Jedi got Ani to come back from the dark side, but the Jedi’s system enabled him to turn in the first place. Soooooo yeah. Oh Luke. Don’t blame yourself. Kylo was already basically gone. Sure, seeing his uncle standing over him with a lightsaber definitely didn’t help... but it’s not the only thing that made him turn. Who is this captain of the medical ship? He looks familiar. (IMDB says he’s Danny Sapani. I probably recognized him from the Crown) Oh BB8. Finn, did you learn nothing from Rey? Put the cover back on the vent! Awww the Fathiers have such sad eyes... I love the Resistance ring. Can I buy one? Ok. The shot of the bubble egg lady singing felt like it was much longer the first time, but it’s really only a split second. I. LOVE. THE. CANTO. BIGHT. SET. I know it’s a real town in like Italy or somewhere near the Mediterranean. I want to go. I love it. I love that the first thing Luke does when he decides to use the Force again is to seek out Leia. Oh poor Adam became a meme after this. He just has a very wide and bulky body, ok? God Luke looks so scary in Kylo’s flashback. “Let the past die. Kill it if you have to.” That reflection scene is so visually stunning. So in a way, it’s like Luke is failing Rey like he failed Ben. He’s not helping her in the way she needs, so she’s being lured by the dark side instead. I love the walls falling around Luke. “Did you do it? Did you create Kylo Ren?” Rey, he already told you earlier that he believes it’s his fault, so the answer from him is yes. I can’t remember if we hear this story of Luke and Kylo one more time after this or not. “Then he’s our last hope.” Ok ew. No. Kylo is not allowed to be compared to hope. Only Luke, Leia, or Obi-Wan can be. Oh for a second I thought that torch was a lightsaber. YODA!!!!! I think I had been spoiled for Yoda showing up. It was definitely still exciting though. “The sacred Jedi texts!” Oh Luke. Oh memes. Not as whiney as I remembered. “But that library contained nothing that the girl Rey does not already possess.” Because Yoda knows she stole the books. Oh Yoda. I love Yoda. Oh Rose. Ok, so I will give it to Poe that at this moment it doesn’t seem like Holdo has a good plan. Abandoning ship isn’t necessarily cowardly, but on the surface it does seem like it puts them in more danger. Literally earlier today I watched a video about the layout of the Millennium Falcon, and the escape pods were mentioned. And I thought to myself, wow that must be something from the novels since we’ve definitely never seen that in the movies. Welp... I was wrong... Rey’s in one now. I was about to be like “Do they not care that an escape pod just docked?” before I saw Kylo. LOL the iron coming down like a ship. I feel like I remember being completely terrified when Rey stepped in front of Snoke. Oh BB8. Bumping into stuff. I remember being super relieved that DJ (has he told us this is his name yet? I can’t remember) gave back the medallion. Captain Phasma! Hey girl hey! Leia shooting Poe is still funny to me. Also Lieutenant Billie Connix is smart.  I love the scene of Holdo and Leia saying goodbye. Also, Holdo’s purple hair with her bright blue eyes is super striking. Good choice. Snoke puts down the lightsaber. Unknowingly sealing his fate. Literally when Snoke reveals he connected their minds, I was like OF COURSE. Because the whole time I’m like neither of them are strong enough to do this. “She was more interested in protecting the light than she was seeming like a hero.” See. And that’s the flaw in both Poe and Finn. And Rey to an extent. They’re thinking about the big picture, but in context of smaller things like seeming like a hero, saving Rey, saving Kylo, etc. But Holdo’s thinking of only the big picture. I knew DJ betrayed them, I just forgot how badly.

And here’s another annoyance (which I was sorta trying to touch on earlier). Everyone hates the Canto Bight plot, yet they complain about Holdo trying to take charge. If Poe just let Holdo take charge and ignored Finn and Rose’s idea, then her plan would have been a complete success. No Canto Bight, no DJ to betray them, all the transports make it to Crait unnoticed, and the First Order eventually destroys a ship that’s empty except for Holdo. They complain about Holdo, but don’t think about the fact that Holdo could have prevented another plot they hated if the main characters had just listened to her.

And then Snoke hits Rey and literally puts the lightsaber back to where it will kill him. Ok literally I just misread a caption that said “Lord Vader” as “Lord Voldemort” and I was very confused. Taking a second to say that I love this set of Snoke’s throne room. Been thinking it forever, but Kylo picking up the lightsaber off the ground and seeing the reflection in the smooth red floor is amazing. Kylo igniting the lightsaber through Snoke is amazing. Also, I typed “Ben igniting” before literally freezing for a second and being like “...ok that’s a lot to unpack” I guess when he does something good my brain thinks of him as Ben instead of Kylo. ALSO, arm #16 and #17, I love that Snoke’s arms were cut off too in true Star Wars fashion. And I am VERY excited to see this fight scene again. I told myself not to pause at all during the Kylo and Rey team up fight, but I paused literally a second into it because Binary Sunset yes.

And my idiot brother and my mom are texting in the family group chat so it’s popping up on my screen throughout this scene. Ugh.

All of these red knight weapons are so cool. And I forgot about the one that gets chopped up... Oh my god one is a sword that transforms into a whip. LOVE. IT. And I love the quick lightsaber ignite through the head. Love it. Woah how is there still 44 minutes? I remember this battle being much closer to the end. I was wondering when the red walls went away, but I rewinded and saw that they had been slowly burning away after Rey made something hit them. Nice touch.

Ugh my brother and mom will not stop texting.

“You have no place in this story.” Wow Kylo, harsh. Oh shoot I forgot about the lightsaber breaking until they started their Force tug of war with it. I’d always wondered what would happen if someone lightsped through something... I want to say that I realized what she was doing before they told us, but now I realize that they basically told us what she would do when the First Order guy said “they’re preparing to hyperspeed.” so I guess I just caught on to the obvious hints.

God that moment still gives me chills. The silence. The way it sort of goes black and white. The multiple angles. So good.

I know for a fact that I spent the rest of the movie from this point on with my hands over my mouth in a constant stake of shock/fear/anxiety. Oh BB8. Some people thought this was ridiculous. But I had just spent the last few months rewatching the prequels before seeing this, and compared to the stuff R2 does, BB8 clumsily controlling a walker is nothing. Oh how I love Gwendoline Christie. I FORGOT THAT WE SAW HER EYE IN THE MASK. I hope Phasma survived. She’s so awesome. Ok my quality is like horrendous right now so I’m gonna refresh. LOL I FORGOT ABOUT GENERAL HUGS NEARLY ATTEMPTING TO KILL KYLO. Oh I forgot how much I love Crait as a set location. OH AND THE ICE DOG THINGS! LOVE THEM! Poe petting BB8 when he comes back kills me. I like those space age two person laptops. “People believe in Leia.” *Binary Sunset plays* My heart. Ok for a second I was like “This first person camera is like a war movie” and then it turns and we see the trench and I’m like “...ok... ok fine but that was very literal.” The red footsteps. Just... guys this set is so AMAZING. Ugh, these red streaks of dust behind them are so amazing. And when Finn passes in front of the camera, it gets covered in the dust and blurs part of the lens. Just like the Rathtar goo in the Force Awakens. I wonder if that’s going to be like... the thing of the sequels. One shot that has the camera lens partially covered by something. Also, I just wasted time trying to figure out if there’s an official name for that or not... oh well. The winding stripes left behind as they weave around... just... amazing. YEAH! GO CHEWIE! GO REY! Oh my god I forgot about the porg roaring. “Oh, they HATE that ship!” I’M DEAD. Look at the salt and how it forms the crystals in the trench. I love it. I FORGOT ABOUT THIS SHOT OF THE CAVE FULL OF THE RED SALT. I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. I remember when the trailer had the first shot of the gorilla walkers, and I didn’t notice at first that there were normal AT-ATs next to them, and then I realized these things were twice as big as AT-ATs and I was horrified. See, and now Poe has learned that you can’t always be a hero and is making a good decision. I forgot about Finn’s speeder literally melting as he gets closer. I don’t understand the people who were mad that Rose stopped Finn. I for one was HORRIFIED at just the thought of Finn dying this way and thankful she stopped him. “That’s how we’re gonna win. Not fighting what we hate, saving what we love.” The kiss is pointless but I love the line and sentiment behind it. Oh god. Ok. Here come the emotions. Binary Sunset is playing. I was a wreck. And a little of Han and Leia’s Love Theme as she sees the dice. I remember actually noticing that in the theaters and half-sobbing. Oh god the forehead kiss. Oh and he winks at 3PO as he walks by. My heart. This is the specific shot of the gorilla walkers and the AT-ATs in a line that freaked me out. That shot of Luke standing up against all the First Order walkers and ships. Amazing. That shoulder brush though. Kylo’s so dumb, he literally just watched that lightsaber get destroyed, he HELPED destroy it. He should have known something was up, it couldn’t have been repaired that quickly. Purposeful shot of Luke’s feet not moving the salt. That Matrix back bend though. “I will have killed the last Jedi.” He said the title. Also, is that the only time it’s said? Because they say it a lot in Force Awakens but I don’t think so yet in this movie.. “And I will not be the last Jedi.” Ok so now it’s said again by Luke. Purposeful shot of Kylo’s shoe leaving a footprint as he runs to Luke. I’m pretty sure I probably shrieked when he tried to slice Luke in half.

I just now remembered that I’d actually kind of wondered if he’d be a Force projection or something when he first showed up. Because I’d just watched Return of the Jedi like a week earlier and saw Obi-Wan do it, so I wondered if Luke was doing it too. Especially when Poe said Luke was distracting the First Order. It passed my mind and was confirmed when Kylo couldn’t hit him. And here’s where I started to feel like my world was crumbling...

Oh god. My eyes are wet. It hurts. But when I watched it the first time, I really felt like my world was absolutely falling a part and ending forever while I watched Luke die. With the stupid binary sunset in front of him just like when he was a teenager and when he was a baby. One of the first things he ever saw was the binary sunset. I was like “This is beautiful, but that doesn’t mean I’m not completely in pain and dying.” That shot from above of Kylo with the stormtroopers, mirroring a shot from the prequels of Ani. Nice. So do they still have that connection even if Snoke’s dead?

HEY! Hey. Those dice were still visible to Kylo even after Luke was dead... was Leia Force projecting them to Kylo? It wouldn’t take as much work as doing it to everyone else at once from lightyears away. One person, your son, would be easier. So maybe... maybe Leia’s the one continuing the projection of the dice. I’m gonna stick with that theory thanks.

Awww BB8 asked Rey about his antenna, just like when they first met. Remember when people were like “Are Poe and Rey gonna be a thing?!?!?” and of course I’d much prefer that over Reylo thanks. The books! Somehow, that obvious shot of the books goes over so many people’s heads. So many complaints about the books getting burned, when they literally show us that Rey saved them. I had never noticed the bunks in the Millennium Falcon either until I saw that video earlier, and I’m glad I got to actually see one in use since Rose is sleeping in one.

Oh GOD the entirety of the Resistance can fit on the Millennium Falcon... that is NOT good.

I LOVE the scene of the kids retelling the story of Luke. I must have already gone in depth about this 2 years ago, but I love it. Luke became a legend in the end. He didn’t necessarily want to be one, but he’s become one. It was exactly what was in the opening scroll, he restored the spark of hope. That subtle use of the Force by that little boy. With Binary Sunset playing. And I love that last shot of him holding the broom up like a lightsaber.

I nearly forgot that they put in “In loving memory of our princess, Carrie Fisher” at the end. That’s what got me to finally cry. 40 straight minutes of covering my mouth in anxiety, then feeling like my world was crashing down around me as Luke died. Having it dedicated to Carrie made me just start sobbing so hard. Watch that happen again tomorrow.

I remember when I left the theater, at first I was like “What if the boys is Rey’s brother?!” but then... I realized that a huge point of the movie went over my head for a second there.

The fandom got so caught up in figuring out who Rey’s parents are, whether it’s Obi-Wan or Luke or Leia or even Palpatine, that they were mad when Kylo said they were no one. But like... guys... not every single Force user is related to the Skywalkers or anyone else we already know. There were hundreds of Jedi in the prequels, because anyone can be Force sensitive. Obi-Wan’s parents were nobody, Qui-Gon’s parents were nobody, Mace’s parents were nobody. They didn’t come from long lines of Force users (at least in movie lore), BECAUSE THE JEDI WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO HAVE KIDS. The Skywalkers aren’t even a long line, it’s just 3 generations at this point. So literally none of the Jedi of the past came from powerful Force users (or at least from ones who got the chance to become Jedi) since that literally goes against the code.

Luke found at least 11 other Force sensitive kids to train alongside Ben, their parents were all definitely nobodies since he’s the last Jedi. Ben is an anomaly, Luke and Leia are anomalies, the Jedi don’t have kids! The fandom got so caught up in figuring out who Rey could be related to, that they forgot that for millennia the individual Jedi were not related to anyone.

Anyone can be Force sensitive. Anyone can be a Jedi. Rey is an example of that. That little boy is an example of that. That’s why I love that the little Force sensitive boy was the final shot of the movie. He was meant to reassure and remind us after the Rey parentage reveal that anyone can end up Force sensitive. They don’t need a famous/powerful parent. They can come from anywhere and be anyone. And I love that that’s the final note of this movie.

Some people were not reassured. Some people couldn’t handle the idea that Rey’s powerful just because she’s Rey, not because she’s someone’s daughter. She HAS to be related to someone to be that powerful, right? But every Jedi before her who was just as powerful wasn’t related to anyone, so why does she have to be?

ANYWAY! I was actually worried over the last 2 years that I’d rewatch The Last Jedi and not like it as much as I did in theaters. I still like it a lot. Even the Canto Bight scenes get redeemed by the costumes and the set being so amazing. But I love the message of don’t be a hero, this is bigger than just you. And I love the message that even if you’re “nobody” from “nowhere” you could still be Force Sensitive and you could still be a Jedi. I love Luke’s send off, I love that he does end up reigniting the spark and being a beam of hope again. I love it.

And I’m excited to see the Rise of Skywalker tomorrow.

[kee-writestrashh]

Guns for Hire

Ramsay Bolton x Reader

ao3

Summary:  You are the wife to the Heir of the Red Kings, Ramsay Bolton. living the undercover life of a mob wife has its perks, and you love your husband. But you find out something that seems to unfold a series of unwanted events…

Chapter 54: Dead af

You sighed, turning back to the still open door and walking through it, letting your feet carry you blindly until you realized you were sitting on the couch in the den.

You saw Ben standing there, talking away on the phone as he fought with the Bluray player. Kaden climbed up beside you and hugged you tight after he set his bowl of popcorn down.

"Don't be sad, aunt (y/n). Mama says it will be okay. They got the wrong man." He said, nodding in his five year old wisdom.

Ben pat you on the shoulder as he left the room.

"Who's your favorite?" Kaden asked, kicking his shoes off and pulling his popcorn in his lap.

"Favorite what?" You finally asked, glancing down at the boy.

"Character. I like Rey. She's tough. I think I will ask her to be my girl friend if I ever see her." He said.

You grinned at his innocence and sighed, "I dunno. I like BB. The droids are always my favorites."

"Uncle Ramsay likes Star Wars too. I seen all his stuff in his old room."

"Yeah, he likes the bad guys. Like Kylo." You nodded.

"I don't think Kylo is bad. Just sad and kind of angry." The boy shrugged as Liz came in and sat down beside you, pulling you into her.

The embrace was so warm and caring, it seemed to break you as you sobbed into her shoulder.

"Shhh... It will be okay." She cooed gently stroking your hair in a motherly way.

You weren't sure how long you sat there in her arms, crying, wishing your own mother could hold you.

Finally the tears subsided into small sniffles as you blankly watched TV with Liz and Kaden.

"No more crying, okay? We have to be big. They just made a wrong guess." Kaden smiled at you.

"Wrong man. Wrong guess." You said slowly, an idea hatching.

"Let's go." Ben said, looking apprehensive as he stopped beside your seat, giving Liz a quick kiss on the cheek.

You wiped the last of the tears away and stood, slowly.

You and Ben said nothing until you were almost in city limits.

"Right, the lawyer is on the plane out here. Should be here in three hours or so. His name is Skinner. He's a Boy. Ramsay and Damon met him in college. He's good. And he's in our pocket for sure. Remember, keep your talking to a minimum. The less you say, the less the press can twist your words." Ben finally said, lighting a cigarette. It must have been a mark of how stressed he was because he hardly ever smoked.

"Right. Mouth shut." You said, fixing your smudged makeup in the window visor mirror.

Anger surfaced from nowhere as you walked into the station. The anger inside you so loud Ben had to steer you along and sit you at a table as you couldn't process anything properly. It was like something deep inside of you snapped.

You balled your fists so hard, your nails cut into your palms, but you didn't notice as you stared at the leg of the table, jaw clenched, feeling your son move about almost excitedly.

A cop walked in, depositing Ramsay roughly in the empty chair across the table. He wore his smirk, lip busted.

"What did you do?" Ben asked, looking Ramsay over.

"They didn't like my singing apparently. I don't understand why. I have such a lovely voice. Might have been the song choice. FUCK THE POLICE!" He laughed, eyes glittering in malice.

"Would you stop making this harder?" Ben whispered exasperatedly.

"So how much am I paying to get out of here?" Ramsay asked casually, adjusting the handcuffs.

"You're not." Ben said quietly.

You whipped your head around so fast to look at the man beside you, you cricked your neck.

"What?" You demanded, rubbing your neck as Ramsay narrowed his eyes with a small frown.

"They denied bail. Ramsay, this is serious. They've connected you to everything since the bar burned, even accusing you for all the Starks. That's top of the list. They're pushing for life. Skinner is on his way. Be here in a couple hours or so." Ben said, staring at the table.

Ramsay gave a small sigh, "orange is really not my color. No matter. Call the exterminator. I have solid alibis for everything, you know where to find them."

"Baby, we have to get you out of here." You said desperately.

"What? Why? These are my kind of people. Murders, rapers, thieves, drug dealers." Ramsay chuckled.

"She's right, boss. We don't have enough Kings or Boys in here to keep you safe. Too many lions because of Robb Stark." Ben said so quietly you could hardly hear him, looking strained.

"I'll be fine. Just a bunch of shit rags. And if it gets too bad I'll just shank someone and get put in solitary until court day. Push it, I'm supposed to be throwing a bachelor's party soon." Ramsay shrugged, giving you a long look, "I said our blades are sharp. Not wet. Stop crying, woman."

You gave him a dirty look but gave a small grin at his smirk, giving a small sniff.

"Come here." He said, leaning forward.

You leaned across the table, placing your lips to his. He pulled away from you too soon and stood, frowning at his orange jumpsuit.

"Do what the wife says." Ramsay said, looking at Ben and holding his hand out.

"I'll be back later with Skinner." Ben nodded, shaking Ramsay's hand.

You stood from your chair, walked around the table and wrapped your arms around your husband.

He pushed the side of his face into yours and inhaled you.

"Just a night or two. Don't have too much fun without me." He joked.

You snorted.

"Stay out of trouble. You're not as fast as you used to be, Scrappy-Doo." Ben said, giving Ramsay a very hard look.

"Yes, father." Ramsay tutted, rolling his eyes.

"I want every man involved in the Boys and Kings at dinner tonight." You said forcefully, struggling with your seat belt and pregnant belly.

"Why?" Ben asked, helping you with your seat belt.

"Damnit, just do what I said, Ben!" You shouted, giving a frustrated growl.

Ben raised his brows at you but nodded.

"Also, there's a fabric shop on the corner. We are stopping there." You dictated.

"Um, right. Can I ask why?" He frowned.

"Because I said." You hissed.

"You good?" He asked, looking alarmed.

"Fucking peachy. Quit asking questions and just take me to the damn fabric shop." You growled, looking anywhere but at Ben, knowing you would feel bad for being so mean if you did.

"What is all this for?" Ben grunted under the weight of all the different black fabrics.

"Mind your matters, Benjamin." You said, climbing into your seat.

×××

"There you are. I was coming to tell you dinner is ready and everyone is here." Matt said sliding into the empty drawing room.

"I'm glad they sent you to find me. Close the door." You said, setting your pencil down and looking up from your paper.

Matt gave an uneasy look, but did as you said.

"Miss tagging walls?" You asked casually.

"Eh, sometimes." Matt shrugged.

"How many little buddies do you know good at tagging?"

"A fair few. Why?" He said, crinckling his brow.

You held the piece of paper out. Matt crossed the room and took it.

"What's this?" He asked, looking down at the drawing. "You do this? It's pretty fucking sweet."

"Thank you, dear. Now, shoot it and send it out. I want the entire city covered in this by the morning. I will explain later." You said, rising from your seat and leaving Matt alone in the room.

You walked up to your room to change.

You glanced down at your jeans and shirt. Fuck it. You tucked your gun into the waist of your pants and left the room.

You entered the dining room, taking Ramsay's empty seat.

Dinner was a very quiet, awkward affair as you watched the men around you trying to figure out the purpose for being here.

You leaned back into the chair, resting your elbows on the chair arms, placing your fingers tips together, and crossing your legs. You surveyed the table. Your seat made you feel powerful as you looked down the table.

"Thank you, gentlemen for meeting my request on such short notice. I am certain it would have been much more enjoyable with Ramsay here.... Now, why is my husband in jail?" You said, almost shouting the ending.

Nobody said anything as they stared at you.

You rose from your chair, glaring down the table as if spitting acid.

"I will ask one more time." You said taking a steadying breath. "Why the fuck is Ramsay sitting in jail while I share a shitty dinner with all of you? Think I'd rather share my company with you lot?"

Ben looked like he was about to say something but you shot him a nasty look that made him look away.

A man shifted in his chair.

"And what can you tell me?" You asked, walking over to him.

"There's nothing. No trace of a rat or any of our men leaking information." He said, looking uncomfortable as you stepped into him.

In one fluid motion you pulled your gun from your pants waist and shot the man point blank in the face.

You turned back to the stunned room, wearing a smirk even Ramsay would be proud of.

"Does anyone else have any more useless information for me?" You asked, giving a sweeping glance over the table at every man's face.

You spotted a man who pulled at his collar. You walked over to him, fingering his unused knife.

"How was your dinner?" You asked politely.

The man swallowed, "it was excellent."

"Good. Now, what can you tell me?" You said, picking up the knife and eyeing it closely.

The man swallowed again, sweat forming as he watched you examine the knife. He opened his mouth, but no words came out.

"I'm sorry, sir. I didn't hear you." You whispered with a smile.

Again he opened his mouth, but closed it as words failed him.

You grabbed the man's hand and placed it on the table, "spread your fingers and don't move."

He did as you instructed. You could feel him trembling in fear. Fucking pussy. You looked up at the table with a wide, fanatical grin.

"Gentlemen, it seems we have a problem and the mute cannot tell me." You laughed, bringing the knife down as hard as you could on the man's pinky.

He screamed in pain, pulling his hand to him, cradling it in his other.

"Stop bleeding on my goddamn table!" You screamed at him, pressing the knife to his throat.

You turned back to the room, ignoring the sounds of pain and agony beside you.

"Every day my husband sits in jail this man will lose a finger. He only has nine now. Who will be next?" You said, baring your teeth and pointing at a man down the table. "You. You're next. Until the rat is brought to me or my husband is returned to me, there will be hell. You are all dead as fuck. You only thought Ramsay was scary. I am so, so much worse."

The same manic laugh that crept up on you from time to time, escaped you.

"Because I'm in such a bad mood..." You said, stabbing the other man beside you in the neck.

He slumped forward. You clucked, pulling the knife and setting it on the table.

"You all are dismissed." You said waving the table away and then pointing at Matt, Ben, and Alyn, "except you three. You stay."

You stood there, glaring at the men as they all scattered like a herd of spooked cattle.

Once the room was empty, except you, the Boys, and the two dead men, you dropped the act with slumped shoulders and a deep sigh.

"Boys, I want chaos. Everywhere. Blood needs to wash the streets. More everyday. Everyone. Lions, Stags, Roses, Towers, Kings." You said, taking an empty seat as pain in your back and side caught you offguard.

"What are you doing, (y/n)?" Ben asked cautiously as Alyn stared unblinkingly at you.

"Taking the heat off Ramsay. He can't have done all of those things if say... oh, I don't know... I did it." You said slowly.

"What are you talking about?" Alyn finally spoke.

"I mean if we make it look as though Ramsay was never the one in control or ever engaged in any of those activities we can send the police on a wild goose chase, looking for a crime boss who doesn't exist." You said, nodding at Matt, who pulled the paper from his pocket and laid it out flat on the table.

"Foxes and the First Order. You are so Ramsay's wife." Ben said with a small huff.

"It was your son who gave me the idea." You said, rising from the table. "He said the cops got the wrong man. Made a wrong guess. So let's get back at them. Let the fox out fox the cops. Terror in the streets for everyone. No one singled out. Now, send Carmen to my room, and get ready for hell on earth." You said, leaving the dining room.

"Come in." You called, standing at the window.

Carmen came in quietly, looking you over, "Ben said you would like word?"

"I have it you were a seamstress once upon a time?" You said, still gazing out the window at the shining lights of the city in the distance.

"A damn good one." Carmen said, puffing her chest out.

You grinned, "Good. Follow me."

You walked swiftly and purposefully to the sewing room you had found a few days ago. On the table in a corner was all the fabric you had bought earlier.

"I need you to make this for me." You said, holding out your phone.

Carmen took it and examined the picture closely, zooming in on detail, and nodding to herself.

"Easy enough." She said, "Just get me a hard copy and I need to measure you."

"Pictures are by the fabric.  When can you have it done?" You said, crossing the room to the fabric.

"Saturday at the latest." Carmen said, taking in the psychotic air about you.

"Perfect." You said with a small grin.

A knock came on the door.

"Enter!" You called, as Carmen dug through a drawer to find a tape measure.

"(Y/n), I know Ramsay said to do what you say... but... do you know what you're doing?" Ben asked tentatively.

You laughed, "No idea."

Ben opened his mouth but said nothing, watching his mother in law take your measurements.

"But if there is one thing I have learned in being Ramsay's wife, it is that if you are crazy enough to do it, it is crazy enough to happen. Don't worry, Ben. I've got this. Our blades are sharp." You smiled.

"Riiight. Well, I'm off to gather up Skinner. His plane finally came in." Ben said, giving you a skeptical look.

"Be safe. Give my husband my love. And Ben, do not breathe a word of this until it is time." You warned as he left.

[revengeworld]

Let the Past die. III

CHAPTER 3

Zombie Apocolypse AU

Kylo x Reader (+ Solo siblings)

Words: +1.700

Warnings: Mentionings of Blood and well ... Zombies :D

AN: Sorry if this chapter is a little bit all over the placeand short, but it was one hell of a stressful week. I hope you enjoy this Chapter none the less though. Here is a little bit of Angst and Fluff before next weeks chapter hits :>

MY MASTERLIST

REQUESTS

Previous Chapter - Starry Night

Chapter 3 - Static

“Matt, how are you doing over there?” Kylo was carrying two canisters of destiled water in each hand and placed them outside the gas station next to their filled backpacks.

“It´s almost full, just a few more minutes.” his older brother explained while pushing his glasses up again.

“Well then I get some more food and tell the kids that we´re back soon.” munching on a chocolate bar, Kylo made another round through the empty shop and put everything they could use into one of the shopping bags from the counter.

Throwing in travel toothbrushes, toothpaste, maps, small bottles of juice for Ben and Y/N and basically everything he could basically find.

Even a bottle of alcohol went into the bag, since he knew they didn´t have much disinfection spray.

He stopped in front of a shelf, looking at a cheap Polaroid camera and threw it in as well as some films for it before returning outside.

“You shouldn´t take so much, other people could need it as well.“ Matt suddenly mumbled and Kylo only cocked a brow.

“Do you really think somebody else would care about the well being of others in this kind of situation? Everyone fends for themselves, the world has always been like this. Now they just don´t have to act the nice part anymore.”

Sometimes Kylo couldn´t believe how naive his older brother could be, maybe that was why he turned out to be so sceptical.

“Y/N, we are almost done here. How are things on your End?” when he loosened the grip on the walkie talkie the only thing he could hear was the static crackling threw the speaker.

“You hear me?” another moment with no answer and his head snapped to Matt who looked back at him while the canister in his hand got dangerously full.

“You don´t think something happened?” Matt quickly shut the Gas of and screwed the lid shut, while Kylo threw the backpack over to him, quickly pulling his own over his shoulders and grabbing the big cans of water.

While they were stumbling through the field, Kylo tried to reach out to her via the Walkie Talkie until he suddenly heard Bens quiet voice.

“Please come quick...” the small boy whispered before the static rung in their ears again.

Immediately starting to run, both of them couldn´t stop to think of the worst case scenario.

When the truck came in sight both of them slowed down to catch their breaths, Kylo letting out a relieved sighed.

Y/N was sitting on the cargo bed, staring into the other direction while Ben was looking out the window from the drivers cabin.

Continuing their walk Matt and Kylo arrived with heavy breaths and let the heavy loot fall onto the ground.

“What the hell happened?” leaning against the truck he followed her gaze and grabbed his knife.

“I´m sorry, I didn´t have time to respond and ...” shaking her head for a moment she looked at the bloody knife in her hand.

“They were attracted by the sound of that plastic bag when we stumbled over it. I tied it to the bush but one of them seemed to noticed us while we sneaked away.”

Kylo saw a body a few feet away and just nodded. “Thank you, for keeping Ben safe. I take care of them.”

Quickly grabbing Kylos shoulder, Y/N tried to hold him back.

“They are distracted, just let them be. We will be gone before they even notice.” she plead, not wanting him or anyone else in danger if it could be avoided.

Loosening her grip gently he turned back around to Y/N. “Would you forgive yourself if they would cross somebody elses path who isn´t as prepaired as we are?”

Looking into his brown eyes, she felt herself suddenly nodding and let go of his jacket.

“I´ll … I´ll help you.” surprised Kylo stopped in his tracks but helped her down from the trunk.

“You don´t need to do this.” he reminded her, but she had a stern look in her eyes.

“Nobody should be left in this kind of state. Who knows if they realise what their doing but just can´t control their bodys anymore…. And need to watch everything but can´t stop themselves. I wouldn´t want to stay like that.” clenching her hand around the handle of the knife, her knuckles slowly turned white.

“Alright…” he nodded, leading the way.

After filling the tank to the brim, Kylo went a second time to get more Gas and they adjusted all their belongings on the cargo bed so the middle was accessible for at least a sleeping bag or two.

It was tight but it would be good enough for the rest of the night and a good rest.

“I´ll take the first watch.” Kylo offered his brother, while looking over to Y/N and Ben who filled the driver cabin with a few blankets.

“No it´s alright I´ll do it. Just because Dad and Uncle Luke tried to make you into a fighter, doesn´t mean you always have to be one, you know?” the Blonde sighed, his voice filled with guilt.

Just because he was such a failure, his younger brother had to take this burden instead. Sitting down next to Matt, Kylo only gave him a light hit against the back of his head. Matt quickly grabbed his glasses so they wouldn´t fall off.

“Don´t worry about that. It comes in handy now doesn´t it.” with an encouraging smirk he laid an arm around Matts shoulders and pushed their heads together.

“You are my brother. No matter what happens and you always will be.”

“Maybe I would have been better as a little brother huh?” Matt laughed before they got distracted by footsteps.

“Sorry I didn´t mean to interrupt.” Y/N clutched onto the sweatjacket around her shoulder while circling to the end of the truck.

Both of the boys stretched a hand out to her, so she could join them on the trunk.

“Can´t sleep?” Kylo asked and Matt saw how his younger brother was looking at the girl. Shoving his glasses back onto his nose Matt could only smirk and hopped from the truck. “I´ll look after Ben.”

Y/N and Kylo looked after the blonde man, then at eachother and Kylo only shrugged with his shoulders. Seeing that she quickly pulled the Hood of her jacket over her head and pulling her legs close to her chest, he tried to reach for a blanket.

“No it´s fine.” Y/N tried to argue, but Kylo could see her shiver.

“You should at least get in one of the sleeping bags.” he countered sternly and the only thing she could do was to give in.

Crawling to the other end of the truck, she cuddled into the sleepingbag and leaned her back against the drivers cabin, before Kylo sat down next to her.

Squished against his wide shoulders and their bags, she suddenly started to giggle. “Well know i´m sure i´m not getting cold anymore.” she joked and a rare smile appeared on Kylos lips.

“I still can´t wrap my head around what has happened. A few hours ago I was worrying about my chemistry test and now ….” shaking her head for a moment, she pulled her legs closer again to rest her head on her knees.

“It seems to be some kind of infection. Mom told us that there were incidents already, but the government choose to not tell it to the puplic. They didn´t expect it to run wild in just a few hours.”with every word his voice grew deeper with anger.

“How does the infection work?” it was just a mere whisper, but he knew that she porpably had it on her mind for a while.

“Was there really no cure at all?” she didn´t cry, no sobs either and her voice didn´t break, but it still made his stomach turn.

“Not… for everyone.”

“So you lied to me?!” Y/Ns head snapped immediately up to look him directly in his eyes.

Laying his big hand onto her head, he sighed.

“No. No, I didn´t. It was to late for them… If you get bit or even scratched, the infection will kill you and then it is like a restart. But Nothing is left of the former self.” he explained calmly.

“So only those who just got infected but didn´t die can be rescued?”

Slowly nodding his head, Kylo sighed again and lifted his hand from her head.

For a moment there was just a comfortable silence between them until Y/N spoke up again.

“Kylo? I´m… I´m sorry for calling you a monster.” he could hear in her voice that she felt uncomfortable to bring it up again.

“Don´t worry. It´s not the first time I hear that. Really it´s alright.”

She scoffed and looked up at him again. “Well that doesn´t sound alright to me. Who said that?”

“Does it matter?” Kylo returned the question with a grin. Shrugging with her shoulders Y/N only sighed.

Feeling his enormous hand on her head again, she tried to look up. “But I appreciate your apology.”

With a grown she laid her head on her knees again and he rased an eyebrow.

“Everything alright?”

“I feel a little naceous...” she mumbled and it felt like a lighting bulb went off over his head.

“Shoot, you didn´t have any food! I totally forgot to give you and Ben the stuff we took.” lightly tapping onto the window from the drivers cabin, Kylo waited until Ben sticked his head up. “You hungry, buddy?”

“Starving!” his younger brother nodded and opened the window to take the plastic bag with snacks for him.

Handing Y/N the other bag, her Eyes widened at her favourite pie on top.

“I can´t believe you really got some!” she grinned and immediately bite into the sweet tart.

“Slow down, otherwise you´re gonna choke.” while laughing, Kylo offered her a small bottle of water.

While to other two were filling their tummys and Matt made another round, Kylo studied the maps again, before he noticed something heavy against his arm.

Looking down at it, he saw Y/N had fallen asleep and slowly sunk down against him.

Only a few more hours and their all would be in Washington and reunited with their Parents. At least that it was Kylo thought, not knowing how wrong he was.

NEXT CHAPTER - Nothing left

Tags: @karma-jolie - @hungrymango

[what-i-call-men]

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The next day was like heaven for you. Hux was confined to the med bay for a day of healing and you got to run the bridge by yourself. It was easier then Hux made it look. Always stressing and pulling at his hair when you simply just told people to report anything they found out of the ordinary. It was mostly just monitoring.

You went the whole day without any big problems. Kylo even came to join you for a little bit, agreeing that everything was so much more calm with Hux out of the way. You loved the freedom, yet a small part of you missed the uptight ginger and how he bossed everyone around. It added a sense of drama and pettiness to your otherwise boring life.

Once all the bridge members retired to their quarters for the night you found yourself lingering on the bridge. You had stopped into your quarters for a short while to change out of your stiff first order uniform into your slightly less stiff but still somewhat uncomfortable sleep wear.

Wandering towards the front of the bridge and sitting down on a ledge near a window, you looked out to the stars surrounding the ship. Today felt as if you really were lacking excitement. You didn't realize that you actually looked forward to making fun of Hux and annoying the ever living crap out of him by assigning him stupid nicknames every single day.

Your train of thought and longing for excitement came to a halt as the doors to the bridge opened. You turned to see the one person you hated so passionately yet longed to see every day. “I was just checking in to make sure you hadn’t completely ruined my bridge.” Hux said as he walked up to you. He was also in his on sleepwear which was identical to your own, but he had something that looked like light hair or fur dusted onto his own and his normally gelled back hair was messy and fallen to the side.

“Contrary to popular belief Armie, your job is much easier than you make it look,” you teased him, “I could’ve left you behind to die after getting shot and taken this over for good.” He moved to sit on the ledge with you, looking out to the stars, his lanky legs making it awkward for him to sit so low to the ground. He had probably 6 inches on your height, which by your best guess was all in his legs.

“Why didn’t you then?” He paused, causing you to look at him and away from the stars. “If you truly hate me so much then you should’ve just left me.”

You picked at your fingers, drawing your attention away from his striking blue eyes filled with question. “Leaving you could’ve been considered treason and being arrested for treason is a bitch,” You joked, yet it didn’t cause him to laugh. “Who else would I give stupid nicknames to, A? Everyone here respects me too much to be annoyed by my nicknames.”

You finally looked at him, deciding to change the topic before he could question you further. “How is your arm feeling?” You asked as you glanced over the bandage wrapping his upper arm. Slowly, you realized he had more than just a bandage on his arms. Some old looking scars and burns, not self- inflicted but you assumed they were from fighting to something.

“It’s fine,” Hux cut in quickly. “Why are you all of a sudden being civil with me?” Man, that was the question. Honestly, why were you being civil with him? Pausing for a moment, you opened your mouth to speak before your brain completely finished thinking.

“I guess since we have to get married and stupid stuff like that, we might as well try to get along,” your words rolled off your tongue, yet it had caught you off guard completely. “It’d be nice to be friends with someone other than my brother.” You said quietly. You didn’t normally call Kylo your brother nor your friend, yet it felt like he was to you. It was just the title that could put you and him off.

“That’s how you see Kylo? Like a brother? That explains why Snoke wouldn’t want you two to marry.” Hux said and you could swear he smiled. “Honestly, I’m scared to get married to you… Not just because of Snoke or how much you hate me.” Under his breath, he admitted.

“Why? Because you’ll have to share your living quarters and your… Cat?” You asked as you reached forward and gently picked a piece of fur off his shirt. He grinned at the fur of his cat and shook his head and let out a small breath, watching as you dropped the fur onto the ground.

“No, it’s not that. I’m scared of embarrassing myself at the wedding. If we get married we have to dance and I’ve never had the luxury of learning to slow dance.” Hux joked causing a small smile to form on both of your faces.

“Really? I learned how when I was younger and more when I was on T-948. Surprisingly, Ben-... er Kylo knows more than I do.” You thought fondly of him as Hux looked at you questioningly, not hearing Kylo’s real name before. “The people on the planet like to dance when they’re happy and throw many parties that I was invited to. I can teach you.” You said and moved to stand up. You loved dancing when the time called for it. The party’s on T-948 were all so elegant, everyone danced and you honestly loved them all.

Hux raised an eyebrow at you and hesitated. “Quickly, before I change my mind and go back to hating you.” You said and shook your hand a little. He took it and you helped him up, tugging his body closer to yours.

“Assuming that our dance will be a slow one,” You took his arms and set his left hand onto your lower back, taking the right one into your left. “Your one hand will go onto my waist right there and the other is in mine, here.” You said and rested your other hand around the back of his neck.

You moved closer to him, bodies just barely touching. “Now you just sorta sway like this.” You started saying and he waited a second before moving with you. “And we’re going to step and turn like this.” You said turning slowly as you two swayed, beginning to turn slowly.

If any of your workers would have heard that you and Hux were slow dancing in the bridge, all of them would have denied it. Yet, here it was happening. You were looking up at the ginger and him down to you. You both were grinning like idiots as you hummed softly; a song you had heard on T-948 that was slow and one of your favorites that you had heard.

As you moved closer to him, leaning against his shoulder. “A, I want you to know this isn’t going to change anything between us during work. You and I still have to bicker and be annoyed by each other.” You said softly.

“Oh so this isn’t you trying to suck up to me and get more work to do?” He laughed and looked at you as you laughed.

“If it was, would you be upset?” Retaliating, you smirked at him. He shook his head as he grinned. “Armie you have a great smile; I think you should smile more.” You said softly.

“Maybe for you, but I still need to be intimidating.” He muttered and leaned down, glancing to your lips and back to your eyes.

“I don’t think you’re intimidating. I think you’re rather charming.” You mumbled as he moved closer to you, your bodies being pulled against each other.

You closed your eyes, gently pushing his head closer to yours. Half a second before your lips connected you closed your eyes and made the final move, pushing yourself up on you your tiptoes. Your lips connected... and maybe it wasn’t the most romantic, standing in your uniform pajamas in the middle of the night cycle, swaying back and forth to no music on the floor of the bridge, yet it was the most romantic thing you ever experienced.

Pulling away after a few seconds, you kept your eyes closed. “Armitage… would you mind walking me back to my quarters?” You asked softly. “It’s getting late and I wouldn’t want to be a bad partner tomorrow and fall asleep on the job.” You whispered against the small bit of skin showing around his neck. He nodded the slightest bit and gently pulled back to take your hand so he could guide you to the door.

Willingly you followed him to your room through the halls. “I’ll see you in the morning,” he said softly as you drowsily yawned as you punched in the code to your room. “Dream of me.” He said as you smiled and walked through the now open blaster doors. You turned to him and leaned up, kissing his cheek then turning to walk into your room.

That night of sleep you learned more about the General then you ever knew, he willingly let his guard down to your own prying mind, to him it was the ultimate form of trust.

Tag list: @fandom-trash-worth-it

[severnlight]

TLJ Rant (spoilers)

If you haven’t seen TLJ and you don’t want spoilers - this is your last warning.

Okay... where to begin?? 

I normally don’t write out my opinions right after seeing a movie... knowing that I need to process it better, perhaps see it a few more times... but I have to rant about this debauchery of a Star Wars movie right away. So let’s begin by simply saying, I effing hated this movie, and I can’t, for crying out loud, can’t effing believe that this got endorsed by Kathleen Kennedy, and that the CRITICS are giving it some starry eyed reviews!!! Just look at the audience reviews, people. I need say no more - except that it’s getting worse on rotten tomatoes than the Phantom Menace. Gawd, and to think that people bitched about the Phantom Menace.

Okay, now, let’s give REASONS for my hate.

1. Fucking complete character assassination of Luke Skywalker, point blank. His character is so unrecognizable that I would be laughing, if it didn’t crush my soul. Why do I let it??? Screw this. It’s not canon, it makes NO SENSE, none of it.

2. The fucking literal killing off of Luke Skywalker, with some shreds of dignity, I’ll give it that much, it was “better” than Han’s murder, but oh-my-gawd... Luke died a sad, lonely, broken old man, according to these people. No family, no child. Fuck this shit. And this whole idiocy about him potentially wanting to kill Crylo Ben in his sleep?? DAFUQQQQ???? Like, in which universe is this even a possibility???? Worst kind of fanfiction, disgraceful and just GAWD KILL ME NOW....

3. Fucking REY and her character. WOW. All this setup for Rey, girls, we had so much hope, we were ELEVATED, for the first time, we held a lightsaber on the big screen as a protagonist, and dear lord, perhaps we could dream that we were even a Skywalker! We could actually be part of that special family which the SAGA IS ALL ABOUT... But no, NOPPITTY NOPEY. The GIRL, REY, is just there to advance the plot line of Kylo Ren. Surprised??? I have to say I let myself be surprised, I should have known better. SHE EVEN SAYS that Kylo is their (the Resistance) only hope, I died, my soul is dead... REY is a NOBODY...comes from NOWHERE, her parents sold her to Unkar... Can this shit be a lie??? Can it be revealed otherwise in the last movie?? I don’t know, and I honestly don’t fucking care. So much for a role model for girls: whenever a tortured angsty man comes across, please toss your destiny aside, believe that HE is your last hope instead, and run to him, trying to save him or whatever. Dumb. At east, they had some grace in the end to give her some guts to say “fuck you”, but too little, too late.

4. Leia.... Oh my poor Leia... The only thing I have to say is, in both movies, they had no clue what to do with Leia, except throw every possible shit her way, and make her deal with it. The most heartbreaking moment in this film - Leia is desperately sending a call for help, to all her “allies”, using her personal code or whatever... NOONE comes... Leia has become irrelevant, no one cares for her and her little rag tag band of Resistance fighters. AND, when her and Luke reunite, they have this completely mind-numbing conversation about how Ben Solo is lost and there is nothing that can be done for him, EVER. Yes, let’s shit on everything Star Wars stood for, again. Just to make it clear, I don’t blame any of the actors for this, I love them dearly, and they pretty much did the best they could with what they were give... WHAT A DISASTER... At least the death of Carrie Fisher will (hopefully) prevent any debauchery with her character in the last movie.

5. Stupid Snoke!!! DAFUQ??? KILLED OFF before any backstory given, or anything at all revealed about this character! Except he had golden robes and some idiotic red guards. Just plain tossed off into the dumpster.

6. Phasma, dear lord - again, we were given this supposedly great character, a woman, some badass stormtrooper commander or whatever... She did NOTHING these two movies, except a few dumb scenes and dying. SO SAD. Can’t believe they wasted Gwendolyn Christie’s talent for this crap. Perhaps she was supposed to be the Boba Fett of this trilogy - IDK. Disney surely realizes that there will be no other Boba Fett type of character, ever again??

7. They may or may not have killed off other characters, I stopped caring. OH YES, Vice-admiral Holdo or whatever. Another supposedly great honorable woman, had a few minutes on screen and killed herself off, maybe in some heroic fashion that I was supposed to care about - the only thing that I cared about was that the explosion was aesthetically pleasing.

8. Poe Dameron - I don’t get this character and his purpose, to me he is a complete waste. Sorry guys. I love Oscar Isaac, but the directors honestly have no idea what to do with him except fly him around in an X-Wing, and have him love up BB-8. Everything else is a struggle.

9. Finn and Rose - some good moments there, perhaps the part I tolerated the most was their little quest through Canto Bight or whatever. Some decent stuff there (mostly because I didn’t find anything too offensive to me personally in that subplot, I guess - I could watch it without having to cringe or cry). This of course alone can’t save the movie for shit. But what the hell was up with that kiss in the end, and the whole subplot’s purpose seemed just mind-boggling and worthless in the end.

10. That little boy at the end of the movie.. Was he supposed to herald a new hope or something, for the light side? What about fucking REY?? Oh yes I forgot, she is now Kylo Ren plotline fodder. The “new hope” baton is back into the usual boy hero’s hands, people, let’s be comforted. That may have been too harsh, and I am sorry about the little boy there, he is blameless in all this shit and I am just angry.

11. Let me say in conclusion: while all my favorite characters were assassinated either directly or figuratively on screen, I was treated to some spectacular visuals, and a few “witty” attempts at humor. I guess that this is a great metaphor for the times we live in?? IDK.

12. I am DONE, I won’t be posting more sequel stuff for a very long while. Sorry about the half-coherent rant. And all the caps. And drama. But then, not sorry.

[maybe-your-left]

Hi!😊

This is my first time writing to you ever😱 I've been following you for a couple of weeks and read through a lot of your work on your masterlist and OMG I LOVE IT! ESPECIALLY Good Intentions - I've read some chapters like three times already, it's so good

I love how you write the boys and how you describe everything - I can envision everything that's happening so easily. You are truly such a good writer, but hopefully you already knew that❤

I saw you were doing your ask friday and read something about Valentine's day present from one of the boys? I would really love to participate in that, but I'm not sure if I'm gonna do it right haha

I'm just gonna write it here: my fave color is petroleum blue (like a deep turquoise), my favorite flowers are roses, random fact is I'm 5'10. I'm struggling with which boy bc I can't really choose between the triplets, I love them all so much, but I feel like I'm in a Kylo mood atm

Pls let me know who your favorite triplet is, I need to know for "research purposes"/curiosity

Hope you're having a great day/evening/whenever-you-see-this✨ I will be more active here from now on now that I've built up the courage to send this haha

Love, Sierra

HI SIERRA, 

Matt Organa-Solo:

Oh baby-Matty wants to give you anything in the world. If you wanted the moon he would throw a lasso over it just to see you smile.

Matt’s favorite color is blue too! Who would’ve thought? Everyone always gets him stuff that's orange, but he only wears it because in art class he learned that it was a complimentary color to blue.

He really wants to make today special... he knows he’s not the most eloquent when it comes to his feelings for you but he wants you to know he's listening to you. He’s been working really hard on the perfect Valentine present, that you’ll cherish for the rest of your lives together, which Matt is planning on forever so jot that down.

A beautiful bouquet of roses will find its way to your work/school, rivaling anyone else's that were received earlier in the day. Along with a note that explains for you to get dressed in the outfit he laid out when you get home. A stunning blue set sprawled on the bed, your favorite color. Along with some deep blue earrings to adorn your ears, Matt wants them to twinkle, for when he bites them later.

Ben Solo: 

Sweet sweet Benny boy... the most precious boy who needs all the attention and affection you can give him. He thrives on it okay, don't make him beg, because he will crawl on his hands and knees just for an ounce of your attention. 

For Valentines? 

Ben is a regular CUPID OKAY. HE LIVES FOR ROMANCE. HE OOZES SEX, LOVE, DEVOTION, EVEN CUM OKAY. 

He spent so long on his present for you, a beautiful painting made of you. Scandalily clad in deep hues of blue, complete with blue butterflies around your body on the canvas. He absolutely loves it, and has a copy of it for himself, he thought about getting professional photos of himself naked for Valentines' but his brothers gave him a hard no... so. next year. 

A beautiful blue stone set in gold, perfect to wrap around your finger, a symbol of his love for you. 

You really thought he wouldn’t propose on Valentines? Think again! 

Why not? 

its a romantic day, and he loves you more than anything. 

Kylo Ren: 

Ummm... wtf is Valentines' day? 

is this something he should’ve known about? 

why is everyone wearing pink? 

someone kissed him because he was wearing red but he SWEARS he didn’t ask for it okay. 

Roses? 

Okay. 

Kylo gets you a rose GARDEN. Filled with exotic and hybrid Roses that come in every color you can imagine. Just because he got overwhelmed at the florists when they asked about the size he wanted. There's no size of flowers that can amount to his love for you, so a garden seemed like the next best step. 

He has hidden gifts throughout the walkway, which he pretends to not know about when you stumble upon one. Wrapped in black velvet, a big red bow atop. 

Jewels. 

Necklaces. 

Purses. 

Shoes. 

A fucking tiara. 

Along with tickets to fly to the ocean because he knows your favorite color is a deep ocean blue, which whatever. Red is far superior but he will let you live under the guise of blue being good. So he can walk on the beach with you, hand in hand while the waves crash against your feet on the shoreline. 

Also sex. 

------

My Favorite Triplet????? 

geeeeee idk....

i don’t know... 

there's so many options man 

idk dont make me choose babe. 

-------

TAGGING: @finn-ray-nal-beads​​ @onlykyloscenes​​ @candycanes19​​ @historyandfandoms50​​ @caelum-phyriina-vermillon​​ @ghoulian13​​ @mrs-kylo-ren​​ @millenialcatlady​​ @mrs-zimmerman @relationshipwithmybed​ @dancingmicrobes​​ @wayward-rose​​  @contesa-lui-alucard​​ @daydreamsofren​​ @insufferablelust​​ @ohdamnadamm​​ @mariesackler​​ @caillea​ @safarigirlsp​ @jalexunderthestars​​ @shesakillerkween​​ @glassythoughts​ @zimmermansbrat​ @not-the-teen-witch​ @jynzandtonic @roanniom 

[damn-stark]

Blinded ch.13

A/N- Ayye it’s up!! So their is going to be a time jump from the time we left off in the last chapter to this chapter! I’ll add flashback scenes here and there throughout the future chapters of stuff that happened in between the jump!! So that does mean that we are officially in TFA!! Hope you guys like this chapter :)

Warning- Mentions of violence and torture, angst, fluff

Pairing- Poe Dameron x Solo!Reader

Takes place during- The Force Awakens

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

—

“So y/n, has Poe asked you the big question yet?” You heard Jess ask over the comms, you furrowed your eyebrows at her sudden question but let out a small huff that was meant as a laugh.

“Really Jess? how old are we? Teenagers again?” Karé asked in an annoyed way at Jessika’s question. Karé knew Jessika meant well but that subject was supposed to be off topic for you as Snap had told her a secret that Poe had confided him in; and if Poe or snap found out that Jessika knew because of her then she knew she’d be in trouble. Karé was grateful that you all were in X-Wings and not face to face because she knew that you would catch on to the slight worry on her face.

“No he hasn’t...we’ve only been dating for a year and a half Jess I don’t think he’s going to ask anytime soon...why? has he said anything?” You asked now extremely curious. The thought of him asking hadn’t popped into your head before not because you didn’t want to think of it or because it wasn’t something you didn’t want, but it was just something that you genuinely haven’t thought of. You knew that Poe was special to you and he has grown to be more special after the year you’ve dated— you couldn’t lie to yourself that you haven’t once or twice thought of your future together but you haven’t thought of him asking you to be anything more than his girlfriend anytime soon. And now that Jessika brought it up the thought crept onto your mind.

The other end had gone quiet for a while before Jessika spoke up again. “But if he asked would you say yes?” You went quiet as if you were thinking about the answer even if in your head you had immediately answered it without question.

“I mean...yeah I would.” Your curiosity only grew at her sudden need to ask that question and as you were about to press Jessika further Suralinda talked over the comms changing the subject.

“You know I like this all women mission, why haven't we done it before? I think we work better than when we have the boys along.” You all laugh at her comment making Suralinda go on about how it would be better without Poe or Snap.

You were about to voice your opinion when you suddenly felt a sudden pain in your chest that made you zone out making the stars disappear and a black view to take over, the voices of Jessika, Karé and Suralinda to disappear into the background. The pain radiated throughout your whole body, you held onto the stirring wheel of your x-wing firmly. If you hadn’t been sitting you would've fallen down for sure. Their was then clear sudden flashes that played in your mind. You could hear their agonizing screams that made your heart hurt even more. The image of who it was in pain wasn’t clear at first not until you really saw who it was. Poe.

You were desperate to see more into what was going on but all you saw was a dark figure looming over him like a shadow. It was...Ben..Kylo. And then just like it how it had started it was over, making you see nothing more but the view of the stars.

-

Without much thought and even if the girl’s called out to you, you ignored them out of the haze you had seemed to be in making a beeline for the briefing room where you knew your mother would be. Eyes immediately turned to you at your sudden and quick entrance. You ignored the questioning stares and looked around until you spotted your mother.

Her eyes were already on you since she had sensed your worried presence enter the room. She stands up straight and waits for you to approach her.

“Y/N what’s wrong?” She asks. You look at her and it had seemed like you were unable to speak, you look around the room to try and find the words but you were now speechless..or trying to hide what you had seen happening to Poe and who you had seen hurting him. “Y/N?”

“Mom it’s-”

“I’m sorry to interrupt but we just got word that the Jakku village has been wiped out, I’m sorry your highness—highness's, their was no sign of the map anywhere.” A young officer named Brance interjected making you let out a deep sigh at the news.

“If they get to Luke first we haven’t got a chance—What about Poe?” Your mother questioned making the man look at you briefly as if afraid to answer the question.

“They found his X-wing destroyed, blaster marks indicated it was the first order.”

“What about BB8?” You asked making Brance nervously look at you again.

“He wasn’t recovered.”

“Never underestimate a droid.” Your mother commented before moving on making you quickly follow behind her.

From the corner of your eye you see Snap approaching you, when he’s by your side you greet him with a small smile. “General should we contact the Republic?” Snap asked.

“You have to be smarter then that. Find BB8 immediately our future may depend on it.” Your mother said directing her last comment to C3PO.

She walked in a rush but neither Snap or you staying behind. “What about Poe?” Both Snap and you asked at the same time.

“He’s in trouble and I know where he is let me go get him.”

“I’ll go with you too.” Snap added.

“We can’t.” At your mothers comment you square your shoulders and your frown deepens. “Look I love Poe and I know you do too honey but we can’t risk you both going to rescue him.”

“Then I’ll go alone.” You interrupted making her stop and turn to you making you almost bump into her at her sudden halt.

“Look Y/N, I can’t have you risking your life and we both know Poe wouldn’t want you to do it either.”

“No I can’t just sit here doing nothing not while he’s there! Not while HE has him! You know exactly what he’ll do to Poe...I can’t let that happen—I can’t lose him.” You didn’t mean to raise your voice at your mom but you couldn’t help it. You were to emotional at the thought of him being tortured by...your brother.

A brother that you’ve promised to help but haven’t been able to since he’s shut you out. Every time you tried to reach him through the force you saw nothing or felt nothing, he had shut you out completely. You shouldn’t have been surprised given that when you last spoke to him you tried to bring him with you; and if Snoke had felt the same thing you felt within him that day then you knew it didn’t go well. Even if he had shut you out, you still had hope you still wanted to help...but now...now that he had Poe you were beginning to think differently.

“I know honey but I can’t lose you. Or any other pilots. We have to hope he’ll make it out alive..you know how he is.” She placed her hand on your shoulder to try and comfort you but it didn’t help. You blinked repeatedly to try and blink away the tears that threatened to fall. “Don’t let any unauthorized fighters depart from any hanger.” Your mom ordered before leaving the room and your conversation that way it was.

You felt Snap place a hand on your shoulder to try and bring you comfort you and even if you were grateful for his attempt it didn’t work. “I’ll be okay.” You lied before leaving the room to go be on your own.

Once you make it in your room you sit on your bed and drop your head into your hands and let the tears flow down. They were tears of sadness and frustration for your brother who knew what Poe meant to you but still hurt him....then again this shouldn’t be a surprise he’s “Kylo Ren”, and Kylo Ren didn’t care for Y/N Solo or what Poe Dameron meant to you.

Ben Solo would care....for your feelings at least.

So in a moment of desperation you thought of the only thing you could do..you closed your eyes and cleared your mind only focusing on Ben, of reaching Ben through the force. You call out to him and wait and wait but are met by nothing. Again. You run your hands through your hair and try again but once again theirs nothing. You open your eyes and let out a shaky breath before you force throw the desk in your room out of frustration. You drop your head in your hands again and let the tears stain your face.

“Okay now open your eyes.”

You follow Poe’s instructions and open your eyes to see blankets spread on the ground for the sole purpose to star gaze; In the center their was a small stereo playing soft music and to the sides he had placed snacks. A happy smile grows on your face before you jump on him to wrap him in a tight hug. He chuckles before he hugs you tighter.

“Who knew you could he so sappy commander?” You teased as you both pulled away to sit on the blanket.

“Only the girl who I love knows.” He said with a grin making you roll your eyes. “I thought you deserved it after coming back from your difficult mission with your dad, also because it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other.”

“Mission? Pssh. Poe helping him smuggle is not a mission.” You say with a laugh. After your encounter with your dad when you went to go thank him and apologize him for it only ending with an attack, it not really surprisingly had left with all of you fine and making you return to base. That encounter still didn’t stop you from going to find him and visit or do runs with him every here and there when you could. You actually enjoyed doing those runs with him and you knew chewie and your dad liked your company “Don’t worry I always put a good word in for you.”

“So does that mean he likes me or do I need to watch my back when we meet?” Poe asks with an amused grin but you knew he was actually being serious as he was nervous at the thought of meeting your father. Especially after the stories you’ve told him and also knowing how much you care for him.

“Watch your back especially from Chewbacca.” You tell him with a serious demeanor to try and scare him but you break and smile. You move over to him and sit on his lip whilst wrapping both arms around his shoulders with a wider smile only making him look at you in admiration.

“What would you do if I never came back?” You suddenly asked making his smile falter. “Because I know if you never came back from a mission I’d be a mess.”

He wrapped both of his arms around your waist and held you firmly closer to him. “I’ll always get back to you. Always. I’ll never leave you alone.” You felt your eyes get watery but you bite the bottom of your lips so the tears wouldn’t fall. “I love you.” He said minutes later making your heart race in your chest. It had been months since you’ve been together and those words still made you feel all types of way.

“I know.” You say as you place a light kiss on his lips while you ran your fingers through his curls.

“I truly deeply love you, Y/N Solo. I know it’s been a couple months but no one makes me feel or has made me feel the same way I feel for you.” You search his eyes as if thinking this was some sort of joke but when you saw he was being truly sincere is when you kiss him deeply and with passion. Your lips part but you keep your forehead pressed on his.

“I truly deeply love you, Poe Dameron. And I will love you until every star on this damned beautiful galaxy dies.”

“Now who’s gotten sappy on who huh?” He jokes making you roll your eyes. “Until every star on this damned beautiful galaxy dies.” He repeats.

-

The sudden dip on your bed made you jump awake. You sat up quickly, you turned quickly to see..Poe.

He looks at you and smiles, it takes you a minute to register his presence leaving you speechless.

“Hey baby...” his voice was low and soft but it was the type of tone that made your heart flutter, “leave you speechless? Not surprised, I always do.” He teased making you laugh quietly before you wrapped him in a hug. Silent but happy tears rolled down your cheeks as you tightened your embrace not believing he was here or like If you didn’t hold on he would just vanish at any minute.

He groaned as a response as you accidentally pressed onto his injuries he had acquired while his time in captivity. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” You say as you pull away far enough to cup his cheeks. He cups your cheek with his hand and begins to caress it gently. “How did you get out? When did you get back? Poe...” He laughed lightly at your questions before he interrupted your rambling by placing a light kiss on your lips.

“Just got back and I managed to get myself out...I used my charm, you know how I am.” his last words were a lie but it was just something he said to joke with you, to ease your worry.

“I saw you, I felt your pain...Poe....” more tears fell down your cheeks but he quickly wiped them away.

“Baby I’m here, I’m fine, okay? Don’t worry anymore I’m fine.” He assured you in a soothing tone, one he always knew to use when you were upset or in this case worried, he always knew what to do to calm you down. He placed another gentle kiss on your lips before he placed one on your forehead. “Go back to sleep, I didn’t mean to wake you up” you hesitated all you wanted to do now was talk to him, make sure he was actually fine.

Their had been missions where he went without communicating back or where he wasn’t at base for long periods of time; and you had grown used to that and since the time you’ve been dating you excepted these actions from him. Since you knew their was times he couldn’t check back in but this one was different. This time you had actually seen briefly what he went through only making your worry increase tenfold.

“Go to sleep I’ll be here when you wake up.” He said again making you lay back down, he also layed down and wrapped his arm around your waist to pull you close to him. He stroked your hair gently with his other hand, lulling you back to sleep.

Your eyes flew open and you inhaled sharply, you hazily pressed your hand on the spot where Poe slept but you were met with a cold and empty spot, you quickly shifted in bed looked around and saw that their was no indication that he was actually here. You sat up and saw that his clothes weren’t scattered on the floor just like they were every time the exhaustion was getting to him and all he wanted to do was sleep. This time their was no sign of his return...it was all just a dream. A cruel dream.

You put your head in your hands and thought to yourself. I can’t leave him, he can’t die, I won’t let him kill you.....Not you too.

You quickly got up from bed knowing that you wouldn’t fall back to sleep. You were surprised you actually did. You quickly got up and left your quarters with a mission in mind..rescue Poe. He would do the same for you.

-

His mission was supposed to be a quick mission. Just get the missing map and leave without a problem. You knew that you should’ve gone with him but your mom wanted you and the girls to go to another quick mission and she thought that only one resistance fighter would be good to collect the missing map as to not catch the wrong attention. But as it turns out the wrong attention had been there either way.

Your heart hurt you didn’t want to think of the worst but your mind immediately wondered to it. You feared the possibility of what could happen and it was killing you that you couldn’t just appear where he was to rescue him. You couldn’t just wait anymore you already waited too long. So you made your way to your x-wing discreetly without being detected much to your surprise.

As you were beginning to climb onto your X-wing you were stopped, you groaned quietly at the fact that you had been caught. “Y/N wait.”, You swallow thickly as you turn to face the voice who had called out to you.

Please don’t let it be mom. You thought before you completely turned to see the person or rather people.

“Snap, Jessika, Karé I...I have to go...he would if I was in his situation. So I’m sorry but neither of you will stop me.”

Jessika smiled as she placed a hand on her hip. “Who said we were stopping you? He’s our friend and he’s our Black leader we’re going with you and you won’t stop us from coming along.” You shot them a smile while they all nodded their head in agreement.

“Okay then I won’t stop any of you. Let’s get going.” You said as you hop onto your X-wing.

Without a faltering second you heard an officer come through your comm telling you that you weren’t allowed to leave. You of course ignored them and closed the comm to create a private one with black squadron.

“You all ready?” You asked all of them with a hopeful smile on your face.

“Yes, we better get going before your mom comes and pulls you out of the X-wing.” Jessika joked making you let out a small laugh.

“Wait! Solo, we have an incoming unauthorized craft.” You heard snap urgently say through the comms. You sighed deeply and your smile disappeared at the interruption. You look out the cockpit window to see a large freighter approaching. You quickly punched a few buttons and had access to their comms.

“Be ready to shoot when I give the signal, we have an advantage.” You tell black squadron first through the comms before communicating with the unknown freighter. “Come in unknown freighter and identify yourself before we are forced to take action.” You command urgently through the comms.

You really didn’t want to deal with this right now, all you wanted to do was take off with black squadron and go find Poe and BB8. Your patience was running thin as the comms stayed silent.

“Nothing. Should we get ready to shoot it down?” Kere asked.

“This is unknown freighter coming in don’t shoot——clear”, the unidentified came through the with static making it hard to hear but the voice sounded familiar.

“Don’t shoot. Not yet it looks like our friend found a clear patch to land let’s go say hi.” You say as you and black squadron get off your X-wings and rush to where the freighter had just landed.

The four of you quickly took out your Blasters and aimed it at the opening freighter doors. Once the ramp door hit the ground you approached it slowly. All four of you looked at each other telling one another to get ready for anything. When you finally saw an outline of a figure emerge from within that’s when you got closer. You squared your shoulders and your lips were formed in a straight line.

You narrowed your look on the approaching figure until you saw the sight of familiar pair of brown eyes. You slowly dropped your arm to your side until you dropped your blaster and rushed to Poe Dameron. He rushed to you too meeting each other in a tight embrace. He lifted you off your feet as you buried your head into the crook of his neck. “Miss me?” He asked as he put you down. You found no words to say, all of sudden getting speechless. So all you managed to do was smile. You ran your hands through his curls fully taking in his presence. Your smile faltered as you saw the bruises and cuts on his face. He placed his hand on your cheek and caressed it as he saw the worry spilled all over your features.

Before you could ask about the bruises and cuts that were on his face he pulled you in for a passionate kiss. You were quick to kiss him back but before he could take it any further you pulled away knowing of the wandering stares from Black squadron and other fighters. You stepped to the side and let the others greet him.

-

You walk around the Med Bay and collect all you need to clean Poe’s wounds. Ever since Poe had came back you had been quiet only speaking here and there. You were so lost in your own worry and doubts...self guilt. You knew it wasn’t your fault that Poe had gotten tortured but it was your brother who had hurt him. Your own brother. And ever since you had seen that in the vision you began to have second thoughts on helping him; and second thoughts on if he wasn’t too blinded by the darkness to bring him back.

Those thoughts only surfaced because you knew that your brother knew what Poe meant to you he had even said so himself at Jaskar. And even if he knew, he was going to kill Poe for the information he held. Your brother knew and he didn’t care..so much for promising that he would hurt you...then again that promise was broken years ago—but he was your brother...twin brother, and you still held hope for him even after what he had done, and you couldn’t break the promise even he had.

“Hey Y/N what’s wrong? You’ve been quiet ever since I got back.” The feeling of Poe’s hand on yours made you jump slightly and slip away from your thoughts.

“Sorry it’s just...” He didn’t need to worry about your thoughts so you just pressed your lips together and nodded your head. “Just forget it okay?...I’m just happy you’re back.” You begin to clean the wounds on the sides of his forehead and stood quiet but you still could feel his eyes on you. You only felt your heart getting heavier as you kept cleaning the wounds on the sides of his forehead, you knew well what had done it.

“Babe talk to me.” He took your hand in his before you could dab alcohol on his wounds again. Your eyes flickered to his and you saw the worry he had for you. You sighed and moved your eyes to look towards the ground before looking back at him.

“I saw you...I saw you getting hurt...I felt it. It didn’t last long but I did....I saw who did it and I’m sorry.” You bit the bottom of your lip as you felt tears begin to sting your eyes. “I’m sorry Poe.”

“It wasn’t your fault—”

“But he’s my brother, he’s the one that hurt you. What he did was painful I know that...I know what he did and I know it hurt you and I’m sorry you had to go through that.” You interrupted turning your head down so he wouldn’t see the tear that you failed to hold in. “I don’t know what I would've done if he had killed you.” You said in a low voice.

Not him too.

Poe cupped your cheek and turned your head to make you look at him. “You aren’t responsible for your brothers actions. You didn’t hurt me, it’s not your fault..so don’t blame yourself okay? Please.” You nodded your head to agree with him even if a part of you still blamed yourself.

After you finished cleaning his wounds in a comfortable silence you finally asked the important question. “So how was it that you escaped the first order? Because I know it wasn’t because of my brothers generosity.”

He let out a silent chuckle as he hopped off the Med Bay bed. “Interesting story actually, it was a stormtrooper.” He said making you quirk your eyebrow. “At first I thought it was the resistance—”

“I was actually on my way before you got here.” You interjected making him look at you with grin, he wrapped his arm around your shoulder as you made your way out of the Med bay.

“I know you were; anyway as I was saying I thought it was the resistance but when he took off his helmet he was actually a stormtrooper getting me out because he also wanted to leave.” Poe continued with his crazy story of his escape that involved an ex-stormtrooper.

It was entertaining lisenting to him say the story but also upsetting as he didn’t know where the trooper had ended up after the crash. You kept lisenting to Poe’s adventure after the escape until he got interrupted by an officer who looked like he had been running for hours at how red his face was.

“Commander Dameron, Princess. They’ve found BB8. General Organa wants you to leave right away.”

Poe and you looked at one another sharing an unspoken conversation before Poe turned to the officer to ask him a question “Where?”

“In Takodana.”

.

.

.

Tagged- @treblebeth , @mcrvellouslystcrk , @themythicallifeofesmerelda , @thescarletknight2014 , @sfnari , @bitch-imma-head-out , @arsonistvoyager , @chloe-skywalker , @emotionalcal , @theholycakehole , @justxriot , @stvrdustalexx , @the-dream-catch3r , @theoralpha , @sleepyblossom , @basically-hayley , @iamaunicorn4704 , @sneekygeek , @carisiswaistcoat , @creativelyquestioninglife , @daniellajocelyn , @wnygirl2012 , @imjusttryingtocatchavibe , @holy-kylo-stars , @patdsinner33 , @avmps

[damn-stark]

Dark hope ch.10

A/N- .... okay I hope you guys liked it :)

A/N- a lot of Kylo ren lately but then again this is a Kylo ren series so... I seriously don’t know the timeline in this movie so sorry i just know it takes place in like 2 days.

Warning- nothing

Pairing- Kylo ren x reader

Tagged- @angelmarie823

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

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“Y/N.” It was like a whisper. Barely audible but you heard it. You looked over your shoulder and noticed that no one was there. It couldn’t be Kylo ren because you would’ve felt his presence. “Y/N.” You heard it again. You halted where you walked and turned and again and no one was talking to you. It was weird but you also weren’t trying to look to into it at the moment. Poe needed you and you couldn’t leave him waiting at a crucial time.

You turn to your left and go into where Poe was waiting for Finn. As you enter you see still an unconscious General organa. You can’t help but feel guilt as you pass by her bed.

“Still nothing?” You asked as you stood across from Poe. He shook his head and you could tell he was worried. And who wouldn’t be. The life of the resistance rested on Finn and Rose to do what they needed to do. And with the first order hitting the crusisers the worry arose in everyone even you. And there’s nothing you could do right now but wait for Finn and Rose.

Poe was more anxious then you were, you could feel it and see it. He’s an impatient man and that’s not good when it came to stuff like this. Yet again you felt the same. Your kept shaking your leg and tapping your fingers on your lightsaber. The room was quiet making it easier to get lost in your own mind. You were not used to this. Being still in one place before when you were with Han and Chewie you were always on the move, never to long in one place or the other until now. And it just seemed weird. You didn’t like it. Because now you thought of memories you’d rather push back but they came up. The memories took over like the darkness and the light that invaded you, fighting for one to take over.

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Waiting was something you did a lot. You waited for your father to return home. You would sometimes look out the window of the little hut you lived in, you would look outside just in case if your father would show up. Other times you played with the two toys he managed to get for you to play with. But today it seemed that you were restless. Nothing entertained you. You lay on the floor and saw the sky through the window on the ceiling. The sky was clear and blue with no clouds to find a certain form like you did many times when their was clouds. You groaned as you threw your toy across the room. The sound the toy made when it hit the wall was hollow. You quickly sat up and walked towards it.

Your young self to curious not check it out. You let your fingers graze the wall to try and figure out if there was some secret door in the wall. You squinted your eyes and took a step back. A wide smile spread on your lips as you saw the unplaced lining along that spot. Your fingers began to hurt as you tried to pull it out. And when you did you smiled to yourself. That’s when you heard something. A voice. Calling out to you.

“Y/N.” It couldn’t be. There was no one here beside you. You looked around frieghtned but you were also curious and tempted. “Y/N.” You heard the voice say again. You stretched your hand into the opening and then found a box. You felt a strong force in the box. Your fingers trailed along the Initials the box had, M.W. “Y/N” the voice sounded louder and you felt more tempted to open it. As you opened the mysterious box you found something metal. It was not long but also not short and it had a button on it. You touched it to take it out and as soon as you did you got flashes. You quickly let go and dropped the box. Your eyes were wide and you were breathing heavily.

You heard footsteps approaching which caused you to quickly react and put the box away. You closed the little door and made it seem like it was before. You grabbed your toy and rushed to the floor and lay there. The door opened and your father came in. Even if half of his face was covered with a mask you could still his eyes and they seemed to gleam at the sight of you. You jumped up and wrapped your little arms around his neck.

“Hey daddy.” You greeted him with so much joy. Your eyes gazed over to the hidden door on the wall.

“Hey little star.” He responded.

-

“Y/N? Hey. You there?” Your eyes snapped to Poe who was in front of you waving his hand in front of your face.

“Sorry I was just uhmm..thinking of something.” You said with a fake smile. He nodded but you knew he barely believed it himself. “Uhmm I think all this waiting is just making me very nervous.” You say to him as you got up and went to the table.

“Yeah me too why don’t you go rest I know that things haven’t been easy for you.. you know with everything that went on recently.” He said to you. You know what he was referring to and you sighed.

“I’m fine I want to wait here and hear what Finn has to say.” You said to him with a half smile to try and convince him but he didnt look it.

“Go really Y/N I’ve got it handled I’ll get you if I hear anything okay?” You were hesitant but you listened to him.

When you made it to your room you stood in the center. You remembered the memory you had while you were waiting with Poe. Your hand reached for your lightsaber without much thought. You take it out and now that you see your lightsaber you know that before when you had opened that box it was a lightsaber. But who’s? Who was M.W.? As far as you remember you never saw your father use it then again you were young. But the voice you heard was the same voice you heard in the hall before.

You closed your eyes and rubbed them. Their was to much on your mind. When you opened your eyes you saw your lightsaber and ignited it. Revealing the purple double blades. You closed your eyes again for a brief moment and tried to forget your surroundings and focus on your lightsaber. You twirled it in your hand and then swung before throwing it to your other hand. You fought better with your left hand but you also didn’t have problem fighting with your right. Everything around you seemed to disappear as you lost yourself to the movements you were doing with your lightsaber. You felt every thought that worried you disappear. All your problems vanished for that moment.

The moment though was then broken and you felt your lightsaber clash onto someone else’s. You saw the red blade and knew who it belonged to. You looked up and saw Kylo. Your chest was going up and down rapidly due to your training with your lightsaber. It seemed that you were really focused on your training because this time you didn’t feel his presence.

“Ben.” The name escaped your lips without thought as if almost natural. You both didn’t move from your position. Both lightsabers against one another. But it wasn’t in a threatening way. You both just got lost in the moment and saw nothing else but eachother. At that moment you saw it again, you saw it in eyes the soft look. You saw Ben solo. You didn’t see Kylo ren. Just him, Ben. You both at the moment didn’t question the fact that your lightsabers were physically touching.

You saw the way his eyes wondered down below to your lips yours doing the same to his. When you both looked at one another again this time he seemed to wake from the stupor he was in and cleared his throat. You both turned off your lightsaber. You blinked rapidly and then you let your eyes wonder until they landed on him once again. You swallowed thickly as you saw that his exposed chest. You quickly tried to look else where beside him.

“Hold your arm more up.” He said and you looked at him again but avoided looking further then his face. You felt your face get warm and you felt flustered.

“What?” You questioned and not focused on what he was meaning. You saw that he stepped forward and pushed your arm in a higher position. “Oh yeah okay....wait how are you doing this?” You questioned as you furrowed your eyebrows.

“For some reason the force is connecting us and the connection it’s stronger then I thought.” He said. You hummed in agreement and again avoided looking at him. It had seemed that he noticed what was going on with you because he got closer. He moved your arm again into a better figting position. “Now you’ll get a better hit on your opponent.” He told you.

“Should I try it on you?” You questioned with a smirk playing at your lips. He didn’t say anything but you only smiled. “It’s a joke.”

“This is why you need someone to teach you .... I can teach you.” He said with a certain softness to his tone. You sighed and looked away, once again he was trying to convince you. But this time it was different, You saw that his fingers ghosted over your tattoo and scars on your arm. “They won’t hurt you again.” He said quietly. You then felt his hand on yours, you didn’t move your hand away instead you let it happen.

“Ben..” You whispered. When you looked into his eyes you saw this certain look that you couldn’t quite define. Not now anyway. But it felt like he needed you to be with. But what you didn’t see was that when he looked at you he saw everything he’s always wanted, but when he sees himself he sees nothing you deserve. He felt it again, he felt it everytime he was around you,the light. He tried to deny and hide that feeling but he couldn’t. That’s why he always asked to you join him so could deny what he felt. And because when he went to his grandfathers mask it told me do so. To make you join him.

You noticed that his face was just inches from yours, you could feel his breath on you. You both didn’t say anything. You moved your hand slowly to touch his cheek but as you did you heard someone out your door. Poe.

You looked at your door and heard Poe call to you. And in that instant Ben was gone again.

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