#every girlboss has her dark side

[h0t-p1nk-ch33tah-pr1nt]

The self Insert sisters

[hannibals-favourite-meal]

Not How His Monday Was Supposed to Go

Bruce Wayne x plus size reader

The new Wayne Enterprises board member has had enough of Bruce’s shit.

Warnings: Bruce is a bit of an asshole and a pig, mention of a family member needing surgery, swearing, reader is a girlboss, Bruce is low-key a sub, implied smut

WC: 1.1k

Minors DNI

When you agreed to act as your father’s representative for Wayne Enterprises as he recovered from surgery, you certainly weren’t expecting the CEO of the company to stroll in three hours late, dark purple bruises littering his muscular neck, dark shades perched on the end of his nose, suit and hair ruffled. 

You huffed as he crumpled into the stupidly expensive chair at the head of the table, only four seats down from you. You had to admit he was a very handsome man, with broad shoulders and dark hair that seemed to curl perfectly around his sculpted face. He gave an air of intimidation but his bright blue eyes made him seem approachable. “So what’d I miss?”

And suddenly your attraction to the man was gone.

Every meeting that followed, Bruce would strut into the room several hours late, one time he was already there when everyone arrived but he was asleep and still wearing the same clothes as the day before. Most times, he wouldn’t even show up, but when he did, he wouldn’t contribute anything meaningful to the conversation, simply giving generic anecdotes that related to the women he had seduced.

The most aggravating thing was, you knew how intelligent he could be. Sometimes it would just slip out. He would say something profound and incredibly smart but he would quickly catch himself and wave it off with some half-hearted comment like “or whatever the senator told me last night. Though I could have heard her wrong, her mouth was quite full”. It irked you to no end, especially being the only woman serving on the board.

As the weeks dragged on and your father’s health was improving, your own mental health was going completely downhill and by the time your last day arrived, you were done with this alpha male bullshit that Bruce loved to instigate. So, as your final meeting ended, which Bruce conveniently didn’t attend, you stormed off, ready to give the man a piece of your mind.

Your heels clacked on the polished floor leading to the massive corner office he had claimed for himself. As you neared the huge dark gray doors, you paused for a moment, pulling down your pencil skinny so it sat lower down your plump thighs instead of bunching up, and making sure you didn’t have any of those dreaded button gaps around your considerable bust. 

Taking in one last deep breath, trying to will yourself not to straggle the man right as you saw him, you gave a firm knock to the door and walked in. 

Your boss was hunched over his desk, intently staring at what appeared to be blueprints. His dark Armani suit jacket was off and hanging over the back of his chair, leaving him in only a white button-up that stretched across the bulk of his muscles. 

“Mr Wayne.” He glanced up from his work and a brief look of shock flashed across his face before he steeled his expression once more.

He muttered your name as he pushed his work to the side. “To what do I owe this pleasure?” The words were polite but his tone was anything but. He sounded like a typical frat boy who felt entitled to your attentions and affections. Your face fell into a scowl.

The door shut behind you with a slam, but you did not flinch. “Mr Wayne, this visit will be anything except a pleasure.” You strode forward with all the confidence in the world, anger swirling around you. “I have sat in that boardroom for weeks watching as you indulged men far below your moral and social standing. You have let them run wild, making a fool out of not only themselves but of you and your business.”

Bruce sat back in his chair, eyes wide as he watched you get closer and closer. “And I have had enough. I can see right through you Mr Wayne. You’re a smart man, you’re compassionate and generous, and yet you still act like these worms, pretend to be like them for some dumbass reason.”

You planted your hands onto his desk and loomed over the CEO. “So no matter what you do outside of this office that might redeem your flimsy character, you still let shit like this happen here and that makes you just as bad as those little boys. Fuck you Mr Wayne. Next time I see you, I will kick you in the nuts so hard your kids will feel it.”

And with that you turned and strode out like a conquering hero before realising you forgot something. You stuck your head back into his office. “Oh and go to all your meetings like a goddamn adult.” The door slammed shut on a bewildered looking Bruce who’s pants suddenly seemed a couple sizes too small.

“Wait wait wait. So the first time mom talked to you she cussed you out and threatened to assault you!” Tim exclaimed, eyes wide with shock. Dick and Jason seemed both amused and disgusted while Damian just looked at his father with immeasurable disappointment. Bruce smirked as he watched his boys have a simultaneous meltdown. The question had been a simple one, how did their parents meet, but it seems like they weren’t ready for the answer

“Yep.” He said proudly. “And let me tell you, it was the sexiest thing she’s ever done.”

“Ugh!”

“Gross!”

“Y’all are nasty!”

“Don’t talk about our mother like that!” They all screamed at once and, like usual, came to protect your honour. But Bruce just chuckled.

“She was a powerful woman, what can I say?” 

“Was?” You cooed suddenly over his shoulder. “Who’s the one running Wayne Enterprises now?” Your sharp nails dragged along the skin top of his chest where his tight shirt didn’t cover. He shivered under your touch, his entire body going to mush.

You looked up from your now boneless husband to your sons. “Your father was a real piece of work when I first met him but I fixed him up real good.” You purred and pressed the tips of your nails into his skin.

Jason was the first to break, surprisingly. “Jesus Christ!” He cried out, slapping his hands over his ears. Then, they toppled like dominos.

Dick was positively green, Tim had a vein in his neck that looked like it was about to burst and Damian was glaring at the floor. “Go on boys, get out of here before I teach your father another lesson.” In a collective pile, they tumbled from the room, scrambling to get as far away as possible.

Bruce turned swiftly as soon as the boys were out of earshot and grabbed your hips to tug you down onto the chair with him. “Come on, Mrs Wayne, tell me how bad I’ve been.”

Request: Meets her at Wayne Co, she’s a new board member and have a few words for playboy Bruce who misses many meetings

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[ethical-cain-vinnel]

hear me out, you and anakin have been enemies for years like just constant head butting and competition, and one day y’all both are training and your both trying to show off competitively, and afterwards, just to piss him if you say your master is kind of attractive or something and what happens next happens 🤭 sorry i’m famished for enemies to lovers anakin stuff

RAHHHHHH I LOVE THIS IDEA THIS HAS ME LEGIT FOAMING AT THE MOUTH THANK YOU GIRLBOSS

SPOILED BITCH

Pairing: Anakin Skywalker x reader

Teaser Trailer: Your Master, Obi-Wan Kenobi usually has you and Anakin separated when training. He’s worried that the animosity between you two could eventually lead to one of you getting hurt because you two don’t know when to stop. But today, on the rest day for training, he’s woken you two up and has decided that you two would hash out your differences and train together for the first (and probably last) time.

Tags/Warnings: Bickering, porn with plot, very little use of Y/N, no gendered terms (girl, she/her, etc) but AFAB anatomy (im sorry idk how to write AMAB anatomy), hatefucking, lowkey dubcon at the start but quickly turns consensual, mentions of Padme (they’re broken up in this), bath sex, rough sex, little to no prep (make sure to prep irl or that shit HURTS, coming from your local whore), unprotected p in v (don’t be silly, wrap ya willy), choking, fluff at the end

Notes: IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I LOWKEY HAD NO IDEA HOW TO START IT LMFAO but im really glad you sent this in cause I had a lot of fun writing this!! I did change it a little bit but it still has that enemies to lovers plot that you said you were jonesing for so I hope you like it! Also im so sorry if anakin is ooc i really tried to make him true to his character.

In the heart of the Jedi Temple, a place of serenity and wisdom, were two dickheads who couldn’t stop bickering and driving their master, Obi-Wan Kenobi, absolutely insane. Every word moved him more and more to the dark side (kidding, not kidding). “You’ll never be a true Jedi, Skywalker,” You taunted, your eyes flashing with defiance. “You let your emotions control you too easily.” “And you’re too focused on rules and regulations,” he shot back, his tone dripping with disdain. “The Jedi Code has made you blind to the real world.” You were about to respond when your master spoke. “Enough. Both of you.” He turns around and gives you both a sharp glare. This shuts you both right up. “Sorry, Master,” You both mumble like scolded children. Obi-Wan sighs and continues taking you to the training ground.

When you arrive at the grounds, you and Anakin shoot each other confused looks before Obi-Wan begins to speak. “In the past, I have not let you two train together. This is because I am afraid one, if not both of you, will have bad physical injuries by the end. But,” Flashes of annoyance and exhaustion from months of your constant bickering show in his eyes. “You two have officially worn me down. Today, you will train together. I will not be supervising because I feel you two should work this out by any means necessary. As long as you both come out of the training alive, I don’t care what happens here.” You begin to feel a bit guilty. You and Anakin have indeed pushed your master to his limits. But that’s quickly replaced by excitement and needing to beat Anakin.

Obi-Wan laid out the rules of the training before quickly leaving the grounds. With Obi-Wan's departure, you and Anakin found yourselves standing on the training ground, lightsabers in hand, the tension thick enough to slice through. Anakin couldn't resist taking the first jab, both verbally and physically. "Well, Y/N, let's see if you can back up all that talk." You smirked, your eyes glinting with determination. "Oh, Anakin, I've been waiting for this moment. Let's see if you can finally prove that you're not all bark and no bite." The clash of lightsabers rang out as the duel commenced, the blades creating sparks of energy that mirrored the sparks flying between you. "You're still too aggressive, Anakin," you taunted, sidestepping his lunge. "The Force doesn't respond well to blind rage, you know," Anakin grunted, his frustration evident. "And you're too busy following the rule book to see the big picture. Sometimes, you have to do what's necessary." Your retort came swiftly, "Sometimes, what's necessary isn't letting your emotions run rampant. That's how we fall to the dark side." The battle raged, each strike and parry accompanied by another biting remark. It was as if the Force itself reveled in your ongoing rivalry, fueling the intensity of the duel.

"You know, Anakin, maybe if you focused on your training more than your obsession with winning, you'd improve," you quipped, dodging a particularly aggressive swipe from his lightsaber. Anakin's eyes blazed with anger, and he pushed harder, but you deftly countered his every move. "And maybe if you let loose a bit, you'd discover there's more to the Force than ancient texts and lectures." Your movements became fluid, almost graceful, as you expertly parried Anakin's attacks. "I'll take wisdom over recklessness any day, Anakin." As the duel continued, your words stung as much as your strikes, and it was clear that Anakin was growing frustrated, his resolve wavering. He overextended himself in a moment of vulnerability, leaving an opening you quickly seized. With a swift maneuver, you disarmed him, sending his lightsaber flying out of his grasp. You held your lightsaber at his throat, a triumphant smile on your lips. "Checkmate," you declared, breathing heavily but victorious.

Later that night, you were getting ready for bed. The training with Anakin was rewarding but so fucking tiring. You had bruises and small cuts all over your body that stung as you entered the hot bath, the salts meant for relaxation causing your muscles to tense up and a small, involuntary whimper to leave your mouth. As you sunk deeper into the water, you relaxed more. Your cuts still stung, but it was all worth it to wipe that stupid smile off of your rival’s face. God, his stupid face. You had no idea what Padme sees in him. His stupid brooding blue eyes, his full lips that always turn into a scowl when he sees you. Fuck. Even you, his number one rival, can’t deny that he’s really hot. You’re snapped out of your thoughts when you hear someone enter the bathroom. You immediately make sure your entire body is below the water, the bubbles covering you. You look to see who it is and it’s Anakin. “Anakin, what the FUCK?? GET OUT!” you begin to scream when he covers your mouth, glaring down at you as he leans over the tub. Your voice got caught in your throat as his glare sent shivers down your spine and warmth down to your pussy. When he can tell you’ve officially shut up, he slowly takes his hand off of your mouth and for a moment, you two just stare at each other, a mix of hatred and lust. “You're a real spoiled bitch, you know that?” he seethes and you scoff. “Oh, I’m spoiled cause I was able to put you in your place?” His hand shoots to grab your neck, choking you slightly and you let out a small whimper, not expecting it. He smirks and pulls you into a rough kiss, your mind going a million miles an hour. You pull away and he lets you, not wanting to force you into anything you don’t want to do. “What is wrong with you??” You say, obviously bothered. “You’re dating Padme and you’re trying to kiss me and fuck me?? What is wrong with you??” You fume. He smirks a bit, thinking your reaction is a bit funny. “Padme and I broke up a month ago.” Those words make your jaw drop and your eyes practically bug out of your skull.

But he knows that all of your inhibitions were limited only to him not being single, as you immediately pull him into another heated kiss, tongue and teeth clashing as you help him hastily strip off his robes and you pull him into the tub with you. You lay back against the porcelain and he gets on top of you, his hand coming up to choke you slightly again. He begins to kiss down your neck and to your collarbone, his free hand coming to pinch your soapy tits and you whine. Your hand found his cock in the water and lined him up with your entrance. He quickly pushed in and gave you no time to adjust to his (massive) size as he began pounding you roughly. “Stupid spoiled bitch. Always a pain in my ass yet I’m dicking you down.” He mumbles breathily as his cock hits your g spot over and over again, leaving you breathless. “Say thank you.” He demands but you’re already too fucked out to hear. It isn’t until he slaps you across the face that you can listen. “I fucking said thank me. Do it and maybe I’ll let you cum tonight” “Thank you!! Thank you Anakin!!” You moan loudly and his hand comes back to your throat, a smirk on his face “Yea thats what I fuckin’ thought. Good fuckin slut f’me. So fuckin good” He pants as he fucks your pussy with reckless abandon. He can feel your cunt clenching on him, signaling that you’re close to cumming and if he wasn’t also on the brink, he woulda stopped right then and there and ruined your orgasm. “Cum f’me. Cum f’me, baby” He moans and the chord in your belly snaps, covering his cock with your juices as you moan his name. He whimpers softly and you feel as he fills you up with his cum. You’re both left panting and after a few moments you two start to laugh softly, looking at the mess you made. Water and bubbles all over the floor, the water in the tub left white and milky and your bodies sweaty and bruised. He looks at you in a way he never has before and he leans down to kiss you sweetly. “C’mon. Stand up and I’ll help you shower” He says with a sweet smile. You have a feeling things are going to be different from now on between you.

[bonefall]

What roles are Willow Tail, Quick Water, and Fern Leaf going to be like in your rewrite? I hate most of DOTC but I do enjoy a lot of the side characters, especially them

Willow Tail I know what I'm doing with, Quick Water and Fern Leaf I'm less sure of.

BB!Willow Tail -> Willow Flayed Bare

Willow is a young molly from the Wind Coalition who fought at the First Battle. Her first name was Tabby, and she earned her title for presenting a large, weaved willowbark basket to the Wind Runner. She's an artisan with a useful talent.

Since I completely overhauled Moth Flight's Vision into Moth Flight's Vow, which has a NEW origin for how the Cleric's Vow occured, I'm still reworking the Bunny Bones plot that I'm fond of.

I'm unsure if it's going to be a novella or a catalyst for the conflict of another book. It might be a good way to create an opportunity for Quick Water to run her rebellion

Willow has a petty dispute with one of Clear Sky's kittens; Tiger Sky. It's a TINY bananas squabble. She doesn't like seeing her rude ass sunbathing on the moor, so she starts leaving bunny bones on the border and accusing her of stealing to get her banned from the area.

Skystar, being the man that he is, takes the accusation that one of HIS warriors, his oldest (remaining) DAUGHTER no less, VERY personally. What started as a mean girl moment quickly exploded into total war.

I LIKE the way that the original plot was so unjustified and avoidable it's painful. I just wish it was framed as the miserable, violent moment it should have been. I'm planning on keeping Willow's blinding, but it's the final straw for Tiger who can't stomach this any longer.

Willow is likely going to end up in the River Kingdom, exiled for starting the conflict. She might still get retooled; in a later draft she may become a ShadowClan Mountain Cat.

Quick Water

Aside from a brief moment in Sun Trail where they give her the trait of being 'vain' and being woman 34 that Clear Sky smacks around to relieve stress in Forest Divided, she's suuuuper neglected in the main arc imo.

I haven't read past the part where they unceremoniously kill Sun Shadow in Shadowstar's Life, so I hope to revisit it before retooling Quick Water more. I hate how DOTC takes every opportunity to shit on Tall Shadow when she doesn't fucking do anything.

(Side note: it's kinda why i cant see Shadowstar as the girlboss ppl want her to be. Wind Runner is the girlboss. Canon!Tall Shadow is absolute girlfail. In BB, Tall Shadow is less girlfail but she still has the pervasive energy of... this isnt going to make sense to anyone but me BUT BB!Tall Shadow is SO girl obama to me. Well-spoken high road liberal who gets steamrolled by dirty fighters.)

So BB!Quick Water,

For one she's going to be part of a full family. It's either going to become the Water Family OR her name will change and she'll become Quick Tail.

I think she's going to become good friends with Shatter Frost, as Shadow's Clan early "conservative" types who think Clear Sky has a point.

They might end up with kittens, because DOTC is supposed to be about. Like. Ancestors. It's bizarre that they gave the Quiet Rainkin like 20 surviving descendants while everyone else dies off. Not cool actually.

In any case, I want to boost Quick's role significantly. Let her be one of Tall's key cats, either a hunter or a fighter. Something that isn't surprising when she eventually tries to toss Shadowstar out of power

Shadowstar actually survives this coup. She's one of the longer-lived founders in BB!DOTC, unlike canon where she was the first to go. Quick, meanwhile, is one of the VERY FIRST Dark Forest demons, which I can hopefully have a lot of fun with.

Fern Leaf

(CW: Canon!Slash and the racist trope he's written as that includes physical and sexual violence)

She is VERY up in the air currently, because I'm rejecting Slash as a villain completely. It was SUPER fucked up of them to make TWO stinky, born-evil native villains and then write one of them the way they did. Not only is it thematically RANCID, but it's also LAZY writing.

They have to make Slash a lustful creep so that Clear Sky looks better, because they DIDN'T WRITE A REAL REDEMPTION WHERE HE FACES ACTUAL CONSEQUENCES.

Like... I'm sorry, we understand that the way they wrote Slash is a really old trope, right?? "The natives will kidnap our women and hurt our children if we don't unite, and that's why the colonization of this land was totally cool" Warrior Cats is no stranger to xenophobia, but this time it went so far it invoked an outright racist trope.

(And then they just... totally gloss over that Star Flower is "young" compared to Clear Sky, who was less than 3 at the time, meaning she must be around the same age as the son he is actively abusing and EURGH Forest Divided makes me want to throw up)

SO.

Now that I have screamed about how ROTTEN this part is to stress WHY I need to gouge it out with a rusty spoon;

First of all, Slash has an updated name to help separate him from canon a bit. The Mountain cats call him Dashes for his leg markings, the Park cats call him The Silver Pelt for the color of his fur, his real name is Star-shine. Just "Star" in a casual context, his birth name. "Shine" is a leader suffix.

In-canon, Fern Leaf's purpose is to be abused by Slash enough that she reveals information to Gray Wing, and to contrast Beautiful Boy Clear Sky who beats the shit out of women and kids for good reasons so his abused underlings still wuv him.

So... no. Not keeping that. Lol, lmao even.

While I'm not totally against allowing Star to remain some type of harsh or even abusive towards his cats, IF that remains, I need to stress how much it is influenced by the constant stress and violence the Forest Cats are surrounded by. Harsh times don't cause abuse, but they do contribute, and even important, protective people can still abuse a victim.

Doesn't make it okay. Doesn't even make it easier to heal from. It robs you of the simplicity of it all-- being hurt by someone you desperately want to remember fondly.

Still, it's a very fine line to walk when I already have a big problem to fix here. I'm dealing with an egregiously racist trope, even if I HAVE already removed the MOST awful parts related to Canon!Slash's behavior (it's not appropriate for the tone I'm setting or something im comfortable writing).

But the physical abuse is a huge part of Fern Leaf. So, do you see my conundrum? I am confident handling the nuances of abuse, but this part of the story could use bleach.

I have a few ideas, one I'm leaning towards, but I'm still open to suggestions

Idea 1: Fern Leaf is one of Misty's kits

This was an earlier thought I'm moving away from, but it's worth mentioning. I already have Birch and Alder I'm doing this with, with Alder Claw eventually defecting from SkyClan, so adding Fern Leaf to the litter might be redundant.

In any case, Milkweed was mates with Misty. If this idea stays, Fern could be the one kitten she managed to escape with, forced to leave the other two behind. But then I wouldn't keep Fern's abuse, y'know?

(Plus Milkweed has so many kittens to pick from that I already need to shave some down. She's got like 6 in canon; I've gone over it before but a massive reason why WC's family trees are so tangled is because of "superqueens" like this. They tend to give one parent a lot of kits instead of giving a lot of parents a few kits.)

Idea 2: Fern Leaf is Star's daughter

Either with or without abuse, this is the one I'm leaning towards. It would mean she can show up a lot through the story as his ""lackey"" until Thunder and Bright learn that her and her dad are just like them.

If I nix the abuse (which seems wisest at the moment, honestly) then Fern can still be covered in her iconic scars, just from tangling with Park and Mountain cats constantly. Naturally she's at the forefront of battle patrols, she's fighting alongside her dad.

Plus, there's lots of opportunities for overhauling the dynamics from canon. Her mom didn't "abandon" them, she was probably attacked by the settlers. Star can be a good parent or just one with more complexity, instead of whatever canon was trying to do with Slash and this unrelated kid he hits.

(Re: very strange they refused to acknowledge that sometimes biodads are not worth forgiving or coddling. Interesting that Tom the Wifebeater and One Eye are sympathized with by the narrative for having kids. Curious they decided Canon!Slash of all characters would NOT be a father.)

Idea 3: Shuffle Fern into a Mountain or Park group.

AKA: prioritize the portrayal of intense physical abuse and her recovery, while avoiding tying it to the Forest cats entirely.

I feel like this one is the least interesting, but I'm keeping it on hand just in case. Like it says on the tin, she'd get any association with Slash/Star removed. I'd try to keep her developing a bond with Bright Storm though, since one of Gray Wing's... okayish moments was his interactions with Fern in trying to encourage her to leave.

(Even then, i really cant stand how the narrative concludes through Gray Wing that Slash is super evil because he doesnt feel love. And that he just decides to not tell Tall Shadow there's an evil group of cats spying on her and planning to invade because... Wisdom idk.)

If I do this, I will probably put her into WindCo. Their "homestead" system where individual families own mini-territories is a ripe situation for abuse to occur in, and the very structure of WindCo means that there's no one around to stop it or seek out for help.

Plus, maybe I could find some way for her to help out Thunder's crew as a WindCo insider. It's not a total wash, I just find Idea 2 more interesting.

[d3sertdream3r]

I've been loving trop this season!! I am wondering how the whole SauronxGaladriel thing is going to play out though I'm nervous it won't be very satisfying with everything they've built up and all the marketing hype it's gotten. I'm worried they're baiting shippers to get more people to watch. Thoughts?

Oh boy, I have MANY thoughts!

I am absolutely DEVOURING this season, anon! The first episode in particular really blew me away. As a Saurondriel/Haladriel shipper, I thought all the direct parallels shown in Sauron and Galadriel’s journeys were PERFECT! 

I was worried they were going to retcon Sauron’s genuine feelings of despair and questioning if he should “repent” or not due to the amount of hate and toxicity from the usual suspects on the internet. Instead they really leaned into it, and I loved seeing The Dark Lord having nightmares. It’s a side of him we’ve never seen explored before! And that Annatar reveal… holy moly! Celebrimbor and I were both like: 

Galadriel has been breaking my heart in each episode. Elrond and Gil-Galad need to give my girl a break! Morfydd Clark’s acting is stellar. She is so heartbroken over not recognizing Sauron for who he truly was and even worse… catching feelings for him! She’s really going through it and it hurts, but it’s also brilliant on the writers’ part. 

Everyone else’s acting and stories are great too. Arondir was a favorite of mine last season and continues to be this season. Disa is FANTASTIC and I love her and Durin so much there aren’t any words to describe it. Isildur and Estrid are cute and I’m interested to see how their story plays out. I hardcore ship Elendil and Miriel, and his daughter needs to take a seat before she helps Pharazon destroy their home! I know the story, but MAN was it killing me to see how Eärien is contributing to its downfall in this show (in a good way… I think having her be involved with the opposite side of her father makes for great drama). 

As to the second part of your ask… I have been involved in many online fandoms for about 13 years now, and I gotta say that 98% of the time fans come up with way more interesting storylines than the creators of any show. A lot of the time they just don't deliver. I’ve been burned over and over again, so my bar is pretty low at this point. 

They’ve done a fabulous job with the Saurondriel dynamic so far, and I’ve seen some really interesting fan theories about Galadriel briefly joining Sauron or being taken prisoner by him. As truly fascinating as that would be, I’m not holding my breath. I think it’ll be a rehash of season one’s ending with more violence since they have swords this time around. After that, I’m guessing they’ll focus on Sauron gaslighting, gatekeeping, and girlbossing his way to the throne of hell while Galadriel and company work together to stop him. They’ve hinted at Celeborn a bit, I’m sure we’ll see them reunited at some point. 

I’m sorry if this isn’t very reassuring! I wish I could be more optimistic about Saurondriel in season 3, but I honestly don’t think Tolkien’s estate would go for Galadriel falling to the dark side in any capacity. Sauron taking her prisoner could happen, but I highly doubt it simply because as I said before, fans tend to have better ideas than a lot of creators in my opinion.

I could be completely wrong! I have just learned not to trust creators to handle things the BEST way, but that doesn't mean it won't be handled in a GOOD way. Hopefully that makes sense, lol. I think some people will be satisfied and some people won't, just like every other story. The shippy photoshoots and marketing have been delightful! I can't tell if they're baiting until I see the last episode. I think they were just having fun, but some comments from cast and creators would definitely seem a bit baity if the payoff is underwhelming. We'll see!

I really hope the season goes out with a bang and we all have something to love about it; especially Saurondriel shippers!

[thegirlfromgonewiththewind]

Personal review regarding what if…? season 2 episode 8 (spoilers)

No ok, I must admit, the episode was good in some aspects.

Wanda was majestic. Loki and Scott were hilarious and I loved every single moment with them.

Thor was amazing, dark and serious out of loss but still enjoyable, and the crumbs of his relationship with Hela were very nice.

I’ve actually liked Tony for the very first time in my life, probably because I tend to like him a lot more in AUs and fanfictions than I do in the normal timeline.

And then… there were those two.

I will never comprehend why marvel wants Steve to be so dependent on Peggy. And I will never comprehend why, to make him interact with her, they have to destroy or sideline every other relationship he has built, or make his character flat.

Bucky being friends with Scott was amazing, but the fact that him and Steve interacted like two times was extremely disappointing. You’d expect “best friends in every universe”, if you dislike the romantic pairing so much, to acknowledge themselves for more than a few scenes, in only one of which they’re in frame together (Bucky was literally 😐 while his best friend disappeared, come on now).

And the storyline about Peggy coming from another world to save the universe was just… Mbah. It could’ve been executed in another way without including her and it still would have made sense. It really feels like a Y/N insert.

Seeing literally any other character was so good, so fun, and they had to ruin it this way, making Peggy once again the self insert and girlboss she didn’t need to be.

Plus, forgive my constant complaining, but it’s extremely infuriating how all of Steve’s friends were eliminated to put the focus solely on Peggy. Where’s Sam? Where’s Nat? Where’s Clint? It’s not an underrated friendship we’re talking about, a big chunk of the fandom loves the cap quartet or team cap, and after civil war it would have been nice to see them interact, especially after its popularity and popular demand. Outlaw team cap would have been glorious, a good chance to bring back many characters who aren’t here anymore in the right way, and involve characters that are rarely involved in What if in the storyline, for a change.

The treatment of Sam in this series particularly angers me, and even more so in this episode. I understand not involving him in other storylines, but Sam was a big part of CATWS and he wasn’t even in the episode centered on that film. What, because Steve met him while running he can’t be introduced in any other way? And oh, there’s no excuse for this episode. If there was one episode they could have placed Sam in, it was this one. Sam was there in infinity war, where the mess happened, and he should have been with the other avengers in this one.

If marvel wanted to involve someone from another universe so bad, it should have been a Captain America Sam from another universe. Can you imagine the poetry of seeing Steve and Nat again after endgame? Can you imagine having closure with them both, and having fun in the process? It would have been so great.

Another great storyline without involving characters from other universes would have been one where Steve, who touched the time stone, accidentally brought everyone in the past, and he was the only one to remember it. And to go back and prevent everyone’s distraction, he had to recruit the avengers, who don’t know him and don’t trust him but that in the end become his friends and companions. It would have been so interesting to see the original avengers involved in something different from being some side characters or extras in the one woman show that seems to be What if, constantly centered around the same bland, one dimensional reimagined side character. Peggy’s blandness is so obvious in these episodes (aside for some random remarks that made me smile) that literally everyone who’s involved directly with her must be bland like her, otherwise risking to overshadow her.

I don’t think I was supposed to cringe and look away as much as I did during Steggy’s forced scenes, but I did. If they had to force Steggy and Peggy down our throats, at least they could have done something different from the same bland and boring storyline as always. I wouldn’t be as mad as I am now if Peggy and Steve’s relationship wasn’t as bland. I would have preferred an enemies to lovers type of twist or change, where Steve doesn’t trust Peggy and struggles with her because he sees in her a different version of the Peggy that died in that universe. But noooo, god forbid, let’s go with the same old song.

An episode five or ten minutes longer with a better, avengers-centric or Steve-centric storyline would have been much better than what we got.

And given that this was my most anticipated episode, I was very disappointed by it. I hope for the next seasons, if there’s other ones, Marvel will listen to the general complaint regarding Peggy and will give her a break. I don’t think any of the original avengers or relevant MCU characters made as much appearances as Peggy, and being a main focus in four episodes out of nine is ridiculous.

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

I used to question why I can’t enjoy zk total AUs. Okay, the characters have no future and no chemistry in canon, but what bothers me so much if their relationship takes place somewhere entirely different? And then I realized.

The girl/woman they write about is not Katara. A miserable, hapless and meek damsel in distress, with less backbone than a jellyfish, who silently allows her asshole friends/family to boss her around (even Cinderella protested more – at least she asked for permission to go to the ball and after getting a “no” went there anyway) is not Katara (who never hesitates to tell loud and clear if she doesn’t like something). A cynical and bitter girlboss, so desperately needing to embrace her dark side (and showing no other sides to begin with) is not Katara. A very, very sexy (horny, actually) femme fatale who only lives to screw with hot boys is not Katara. Some sunshine girl next door, so sweet that you’ll get diabetes, and all caring without any goal of her own is not Katara (come on, she’s a model of a well-written female character exactly because she has her own goals). A “strong” woman who suffers in her horrible marriage but only ever throw tantrums instead of doing something about it is not Katara.

The boy/man they write about is not Zuko. Some perfect confident smart person who controls every situation imaginable and is effortlessly cool, James Bond style is not Zuko (he was only truly cool in “The Blue Spirit” I guess, all the other time he was mostly dramatic and I love it). A dream guy who knows all radfem manifests by heart and follows them to a T is not Zuko. A guy who resembles a plushie more than a human being because he’s so soft and uwu and harmless and pure vanilla concentrate, poor victim who never ever did nothing wrong and needs all the comfort is not Zuko (he really is an abuse victim, but this did not make him good in the slightest – other things did). A sexy bad boy with tsundere vibes (“he bullies you because he secretly loves you” bullshit and all that jazz), who a main girl must fix with sex, is not Zuko. A malewife soccer mom, greatest with the kids and household, is not Zuko. A sex god (a rock-drill, according to how his actions in bed are described) in any of these cases is not Zuko (well, I don’t know anything about his sex life, but this is not his main trait anyway, he’s repeatedly shown to be interested in other stuff more).

Anyway, I don’t know all these people and honestly, for some reason they are boring as fuck.

Oh, and this all applies to many zk “in-canon” fics too, actually.

Facts. Also bonus points for acknowledging that Cinderella had a spine, people keep forgetting that on their bullshit "classic disney sucks" takes and it pisses me off.

[imfromthemiddlekingdom]

Felony saying that everyone in the universe can access the force if they tried hard enough makes me want to deck him in his fugly face

He’s ruining all established canon in real time. Speed running the absolute destruction of continuity of the SW universe and people are still rooting for him and his blorbo self inserts like there’s no tomorrow. Literally the whole reason I no longer engage in Ashoka content is because he massacred my girl and made her so one dimensional that my Mary Sue self insert fanfics OCs I wrote when I was 14 looks well developed compared to the absolute bland “girlboss kick ass take names” personality Ashoka has right now.

There were so many opportunities for him to explore the absolute potential of angst and conflict within Ashoka in this new series, to give her character a believable story of grief loss and growth yet he threw it all away because he wanted his OC to be the specialist girl that ever lived. This series could’ve been used to explore Ashokas conflicting feelings regarding the Anakin that taught her and was a mentor to her whilst trying to connect it to the monster that killed her family and hunted her culture into almost extinction and tried to kill her, a person he confessed to love as a sister, on Malachor. It could’ve been a good send off to a great character, to have her face that the Skyguy she put on a pedestal in her mind was in actuality the worst sort of scum and have her try to come to terms that just because she can forgive him for being the genocidal maniac he was and still hold love in her heart for who he used to be and also understand why the Jedi, her family, wasn’t the reason for their own downfall.

But alas. We got another series of “the Jedi caused their own downfall!!! Anakin did nothing wrong ever and him killing all my family and everyone I’ve ever known is so not his fault!!! It’s definitely the fault of the unbending stuck in the past council!!!”. Instead of a series that could’ve made Ashoka’s “departure” (literally never going to happen with felony at the helm, he’s going to find a way to make her immortal and then show up 200 years in the future to be the protagonist of another light v dark fight since she’s his special SI) from the series tie in nicely thematically and canonically with every other Star Wars media we have, he decided that the best way to have this series go down is 1) everyone is force sensitive if they tried hard enough ig and 2) the Jedi were bad!!! Their protocols don’t work! They were mean to my little meow meow Anakin Skywalker the greatest Jedi of all times™️ therefore he got to kill them all!!!!

Got a bit off topic but I’m still so mad that he had this chance to make Ashoka truly experience growth like the first 5 seasons of TCW yet he decided maintaining the badass rebel without a cause aesthetics for her was more important then good story telling.

Honestly though, my main problem with this series is that he decided that apparently everyone in the universe can be force sensitive if they “just tried hard enough”. Like your Midichlorian Count no longer matters since even if you were Force-Null you can still be special!!!!

This takes away any and all urgency in the Jedi Fallen Order games. It makes Cals journey absolutely redundant. It throws away all the tragedy contained in having inquisitors being force sensitive kids kidnapped from their parents and tortured till they give into the dark side. If all beings are able to use the force in his universe then there are no consequences to the inquisitors not finding the Holocron that holds the names to all force sensitive children in the universe. There would be no need to them to chase Cal and the Mantis Crew throughout the universe to obtain what they have. They could’ve just went down to any random level in Coruscant and take homeless Force-Null kids and train them.

Even better! It makes the entirety of the KOTOR games redundant!!!! Oh and I guess the hidden path is also redundant since everyone can be force sensitive and no one truly needs more saving from the empire over others :/ totally not like these kids that were saved by the path would’ve been taken and tortured into inquisitors, definitely not since EVERYONE is force sensitive nowadays or is it just the ones Ashoka trains herself because she’s the “living embodiment of the daughter uwu she’s so special and unique look how well she can train a non force sensitive to be force sensitive!!!”

Everyone in the Star Wars universe has Midichlorian’s in their blood. That is a fact. It is also an established fact that the amount each person has is different and is not determined nor dependent on lineage. Force-Nulls typically range in the 1000-3000 count and you need 7000 to be force sensitive and higher to be accepted into the order. (The order isn’t the end all be all of force cultures, Rouge One shows that Jedha’s force culture isn’t restricted to only force sensitives as the Guardian’s were never specified to be only a religious order of force sensitives. And high canon doesn’t depict many other force cultures but we know that there are many force cultures in the universe that co-exist with the Jedi with which the Jedi weren’t in opposition towards; literally not even the witches of Dathomir were oppositions anywhere outside of the battle fields.) You don’t need to be force sensitive to be part of a force culture (Jedha literally has pilgrims who come far and wide to make a pilgrimage to the holy site and not all of them were force sensitive), Sabine could’ve very easily been taught the tenets of the Jedi without retconning her to be force sensitive or making everyone in the universe force sensitive.

No where in either the EU or High Canon did anyone ever say that you have to be force sensitive to be a badass or to make a difference. Hera did not hold the title of the best pilot in the universe just for some rat of a man to come and say that Anakin was the best because *muh force sensitivity!!!!* Some of the most heroic and most influential (good or bad) people in the franchise are Force-Null! And that’s great! It means that the force doesn’t make anyone better than anyone else! It’s a quirk of the universe! To retcon that everyone can and is force sensitive if they tried hard enough is literally cheapening everything the franchise stands for. Andor did not literally give us an entire story about how Force-Nulls in the Galaxy makes just as much of a difference as force sensitives for felony to come out and say that “you know what??? Midichlorian’s are a scam! You get a force sensitivity! You get a force sensitivity! Everyone gets a force sensitivity!!!!”

Sabine was great as she was in rebels, why cheapen it with “oh she’s actually force sensitive all this time!!!” When we could’ve stuck with badass Force-Null Mandalorian can kick your ass five ways to Sunday with her paint bombs and blasters you force wielding asshole!!! Like why even do that felony. Do you want people to hate her??? Nvm ofc you do, you need Ashoka to be the best in every way possible even if it means ruining every other beloved character in this franchise👍

[rosetheocto]

Hey! If you'd be open to it, I was interested in hearing your thoughts on any Failtopia pairings that you particularly enjoy and the reasons you do? Whether they be platonic or romantic-

YESSSS I HAVE AN EXCUSE TO YAP ABOUT CHARACTER INTERACTIONS YWUAJSJEJJEJR!!! OKAY!! So idk how put together this is since there is a mix of my typing when I’m super tired + typing when I just woke up so I’m praying that what I’m saying makes sense LMAO. TLDR: I really like failtopia’s characters

So starting off with what is probably the most popular dynamic in this series: Bo and Erica!! To say they’ve both Gone Through It is an understatement, and them both finding comfort and safety in each other is amazing to me!! Like. Erica’s had so many people die on her and the reaction to finding out that was nearly impossible to lose Bo was just. Flawless. Can’t believe Dan improvised that. And Bo was sent to just kill Mar and work for Screamith but Erica was pretty much the start to her letting her true self shine and developing an actual attachment to The Incident!! It’s so awesome how Dan has wrote them. we love our gay level 6 “friendship” girlbosses ‼️‼️

Mar and Orion have also gone through a handful of things before the series begins, and the relationship they develop as the series progresses is pretty dang interesting! as much as the fandom focus on EriBo as a romantic thing, more people need to talk about how Mar has explicitly shown he has a crush on Orion. MULTIPLE TIMES. The idea of Orion opening up to Mar after he lost his wife and Mar opening up to Orion after his time as the Dark Curse and AGGHH I love these two so much and the way they interact every time they’re on screen is amazing. old man yaoi

I imagine C!Failboat and Erica as exes. like they dated for like a week and were both mutually like “that was awful let’s just stay friends”, They had a bunch of small interactions together (especially in S1) and I like them being friendly towards each other, Erica finding a friend in C!Fail was a pretty good step for her arc! I also think the idea of C!Fail and Erica being childhood friends in non-Miitopia AUs very intriguing!! Any content of those two interacting (that isn’t romantic) is always a nice thing to see!

Taking a break from the more popular relationships/friendships in this series, we have Deko and Joker!! For two characters that barely interact in canon there’s a lot you can do with them! They’re just two anime boys trying to survive in this weird party. I have a lot of thoughts on them but I just can’t form it aghahajsjjs but the main one is that they aren’t alone in what they’re going through, and no matter what backstory you use for Joker it still has a lot of potential!! I’m sure people can explain this one better than I can I just really like this rarepair!! while on the topic of Joker, shoutouts to his friendship with Lanc!! You can’t convince me Joker didn’t have a crush on them. Just watch their interactions in Karkaton and you’ll probably get what I mean lmaoo

I just need to mention the sisters!! even if they aren’t sisters by blood, Chi and Erica both have the energy! Chi being the thing that really gets Erica out of her “I hate everything” phase in both seasons needs to be talked about more. They bring out the best in each other I swear,, again I promise I can talk about them more my brain just isn’t giving me the words rn, but I think Gnome explains it best!

While on sibling dynamics, Bill and Shrimp is so great to me. Like. Bill helping Shrimp out not only because he likes her music, but also out of the genuine kindness of his heart is so sweet to me!! They’re so nice every time they’re on screen together and it’s fun to see them battling by each other’s sides!! plus the matching outfits in the finale was also a great touch :]

I’ve mentioned these two before, but Bill and Chi are criminally underrated imo. Like. They’re the only members of the Incident who have just recently turned 18, Chi’s literally Bill’s mentor after he changed jobs, and their dynamic is just so fun to work with!! Bill’s more mature and ‘normal’ while Chi is Chi and will set things on fire For Science and I think scenarios where they’re together are really fun to come up with!! Same with Shrimp and Chi!! The sister dynamic they have is also super underrated, like they’re a Fire and Water duo!! I think there’s a lot of things you can do there :0

look I am more than aware these two have never interacted but that’s cuz Dan is a COWARD and knows that Bo and Lanc being in the same room would lead to so much mayhem lmaoo. Out of everyone in The Incident (apart from Chi obviously) I see Lanc getting along with Bo the best! a lot of stuff I have for them is pretty based on fanon but you can’t tell me they wouldn’t gossip about the lastest drama with the party and the outside world. I swear they’re besties, they relate to each other, just hear me out. I also think Rose and Bo can be great friends and they really have a LOT in common!! Princess who faked their whole identity gang ‼️‼️

I love Erica and Rose just being each other’s biggest hater, it’s my favorite thing ever. it’s canon that Rose only shows off for Erica to prove to her that she’s better than her and that’s amazing to me. They’re both just so done with each other lmaoo (also the headcanon of them each other’s gay awakenings is perfect)

I think Friend and Mar interactions could be cool!! Like for starters they had some pretty huge connections to Hank they could bond over. also I find Mar being canonically a demon mixed with the headcanon of Friend being an angel very fun!! I also think Friend and Erica could be fun to see, especially with Erica’s past as a Cleric!! shared jobs and trauma!!

Mar and literally any FailFleet member can be funny I think, like we already have the Neksdor Three obviously, but I think an ACTUAL Bob and Mar reunion will lead to someone getting beat up lol, everyone in the S1 Squad would all have very different view points on if Mar deserves to be forgiven or not, or if he’s a good leader, etc. and I think that there should be more done with that!!

Orion’s friendship with the rest of The Incident is also a very important part of why the party is the way it is!! There’s absolutely characters with awful relationships to their dads, fathers that are barely around, or just never had a parental figure at all. I LOVE that Orion was able to fill that void for those party members, and he does a damn good job at it too!! And of course the parallels he has with Erica is great, both are stubborn warriors with a lot of baggage, but also have a lot of differences, like their views on stuff like becoming a healer!! Orion being like a mentor to Erica is great. also shoutouts to Slapo, we love her. I think her interacting with other members of The Incident is also something that’s needed more!!

Speaking of fathers, scenes with Chat and C!Fail are downright hilarious! Chat’s insanity mixed with C!Fail’s attitude always leads to some crazy thing going down! Chat with anyone really is always a treat, since they’re way more than too much to handle most of the time, and seeing how everyone reacts to their shenanigans is always gonna be fun!!

Smuk, Rose, and Bob’s relationship is just perfection. Bob obviously crushing on Rose is so great to see when they have scenes together and Smuk basically proposing to Rose (but not really) with that ring is also cool!! And of course we gotta mention Smuk and Bob’s bromance in Greenhorne, those two were inseparable a lot of the time I swear, I love them a lot, I’m praying if we get S3 we have those three come back (along with Petunyawn)

Deko’s friendship with both Chi and Lanc is vital to his arc!! Similar to Erica, he had gone through quite a lot before S1 and traveling with them got him to warm up to them and helped him get better control of his powers!! Lanc and Chi being absolute goofsters while Deko has no energy is VERY amusing!! also Deko, someone who was experimented on, being paired up with two soon-to-be scientists is vile lmaoo, why do you do this Dan /pos

SPEAKING OF THOSE SCIENTISTS!! If you thought I wasn’t gonna bring up Lanchi at all then you’re wrong. These two. These two are my everything. They’re undoubtedly my OTP!! There is quite a handful of canon evidence (in both seasons!) that point to Something going on between them!! I’d list them all out rn, but imma save that for another time, so I’ll just stick to saying everything I like about them!! The way Lanc and Chi just bounce off each other is insane. I swear they can read each other’s minds sometimes, they actually just share a braincell!! Lanc being all nervous in the Finale and Chi comforting them,, and ofc Chi being inspired by Lanc to switch jobs in S2 is just GAHAJJJJW I LOVE THEM!! They’ve been living rent free in my head since 2021 and I can’t get them out even if I tried!! EVERY SINGLE INTERACTION they have can be read as romantic. I refuse to believe they’re just friends lmaoo

[harborarmored]

My thoughts on every new Fortnite Battle Pass skin this season since I am hellenic polytheist ~

Ok, so... I've been a hellenic polytheist (a person who believe and worships the greek gods and follow the philosophy) for almost two years, but I've already started worshipping them a long time ago, just got back and strong last year. And, I'm hyperfocused on Fortnite. If you put them together, you'll guess I'm hyped and crazy about this season. So, I thought I would "rate" and give my thoughts on each battle pass skin, both as a devotee of the greek gods and as a Fortnite fan.

Cerberus

6/10. He is Cerberus. I mean, a big black dog that takes care of underworld gates; it's him. He doesn't really have three heads as some people were complaining (ik he does but it doesn't look like it), but would you really be willing to have a 300% higher chance of gettin headshoted? I don't think so. I'll definitely not use his skin, as I don't like animalistic/animal skins (sorry, furries). But I think he is fine.

Aphrodite

When I tell yall I SCREAMED. 10/10, fav skin from this bp.

She is SO pretty. She would totally like this. I saw people saying "oh but she wasn't like this in the arts" ok, so? Who told you Aphrodite is like the arts? The gods AREN'T human, and I can't say that enough! They can, indeed, take humanoid/human forms, but they aren't human nor have a humanlike figure naturally. They are cosmic figures! So, technically, any greek gods representation would be right. They don't have gender either!

A fun fact: I worship Aphrodite mainly, she is my regent goddess and has been protecting me since I was born (or even before that). And I give her a human form in my head when worshipping her (and all other gods), usually based on the art depictions of her (like Birth of Venus), but EVERY devotee will depict her different – she is the god of beauty, and everyone's perception of beauty is different.

And, apart from that, she is resembling Aphrodite. White hair? Not unusual, I can see her with it; tanned skin? Alright! She was born on the beach, after all; clothing? Ohh boy she would ROCK that! The gold and white is very Aphrodite-like, the pinkish/red nails, the belts with little hearts... she is so cool and pretty, AAAAHHHH!!!

(I will not talk about every skin style, but just to give Immortal Aphrodite style its justice: it's pretty, SO PRETTY, and she would like it too.)

Slurp..... Poseidon!

Oh boy he is cute. 7/10. I don't understand the hate he's getting. Just because yall see Poseidon as a bodybuilder older guy from the seas, doesn't mean he is. He isn't human! And this definitely isn't disrespectful, if you are thinking about it – I'm pretty sure Poseidon would have a laugh at this.

On the Fortnite skin side... I hate it. Like, I don't hate it. But I'll definitely not be wearing this ever. Same reason as Cerberus; I don't like animalistic skins (he isn't animalistic... I think. But I think yall can get what I'm saying), and he is BIG boi. I don't like wearing man skins usually, only Shadow Midas – the only Midas I have till now 😭 – and Montague, because they are slim. Many of the manly skins I have are more thick, have muscles. I don't like the playability they have, and don't like them in general (not characters, the looks/functionality/mobility/etc). But he is cute. I can't lie.

Medusa

She is here for the girlbosses! 9/10. Not a goddess, but she has a big role in the mythology and she could be an essential part of the lore, if we look at her story and myths, Epic can really win on that.

I just love her eyes, dark makeup, clothes... It's all soooo her! And I like the snakes too. Saw someone saying that they could be green and it would be better – yeah, I can see the point. But I like the purpleish look on them too, and maybe, just maybe, her special style or the style we win by completing the memory missions is the 'green look'. I mean, if it isn't, Epic has missed a big opportunity! But yeah, I like her. I just didn't like the bottom part of her clothes very much, idk, it gives me a strange odd feeling, maybe because there is TOO many white. Maybe if her pants weren't white, or if her dress (?) was longer so she could wear it alone, without pants, it would be better. At least it's what I think.

Father of mortals, Zeus!

10/10. BEST SKIN along with Aphrodite. Maybe a bit of favoritism, as he is one of my protectors too. But speaking in a "he resembles Zeus so much" way, too! A friend told me about people complaining that he has ammo and grenades on him, are yall SERIOUS? THIS is what yall complaining? If yall are complaining about this you should complain about all bp skins this season, lol. They are in a BATTLE ROYALE. You want them to change all the BR weapons to meele? You wouldn't like it, trust me, I'm a ninja main in Save The World. I really like these additional details on him, bringing the Fortnite into his skin.

And I didn't mention any of the skins' pickaxes or backblings nor other items, but I just gotta talk about the SAVE THE WORLD reference on this. HE HAS A GUITAR????? IS THIS A LARS FROM SAVE THE WORLD WHO HAS ZEUS TATTOOS AND VAN? AND RIDES THE LIGHTNING? METALLICA? ZEUS? OLIMPUS? OH MY GOD I'M GOING CRAZY. And his pickaxe is really cool too

Artemis

8/10. I like her, and the points I don't like aren't "oh she doesn't look like Artemis at all" points (as you could guess based on my other points on other skins). I mean, I'll prob not use her as much as I will use Aphrodite and Medusa. And Zeus (yeah I'll pretty much use his skin despite him being big). She is cute, and pretty. And I like her skin having a little tan, too, even if I think it would be great if she had just a little more tan, as she 'lives' in the woods. But oh boy, aren't her clothes PRETTY??!?!?!? I think they are very bow user if I'm being honest.

I can't lie, I don't like her BLUE eyes. They are REAAAALLYYY BLUE. And lipstick too, I don't think she would really use it, especially pink, if you see her myths and story. But I guess it would look a bit strange if her lips didn't have color.

Another point in her that I absolutely DISLIKE is this F*CKING GALAXY THING. THIS RUIN ANY SKIN! This is a really personal opinion, but I SAID WHAT I SAID. I think they are so ugly and 2014 gamer girl vibes (like I was). And in Artemis? I don't think it fits that much. She is much more related to Moon AND FOREST! They could have done this galaxy nasty thing as a superstyle on the extra rewards since almost all superstyles are ugly anyway. Maybe an all black and silver clothing with a silver moon in her top would be better yk. And her hair, WITH THIS EFFIN GALAXY OH MY GOD I HATE THIS F GAME. And I think it's SO spiky too, for some reason, the "top" of her hair looks so artificial and not curly at all, unlike her back hair. And I think it could suit her better if she had her hair in a bun, as, you know, SHE IS A HUNTER!! But galaxies are my biggest complaint.

Finally... Hades.

Isn't my boy, Hades? He's cool. 7/10 I think. I mean, I wouldn't really think of him and think of neon green (maybe a deep purple), but it fits him AND Cerberus. Cerberus looks so cool with the neon green, and Hades, being his "dad" (lol), has to match, speaking in a skin-wise way.

I can see the gas mask, too. I mean, he lives in the underworld afterall, it prob doesn't smell very good in there. And there is miasma too (I'll not elaborate on this, but for me, it makes sense the gas mask). I just think his hand fingers would look better if they were black and shadowish, like with some smoke/shadow in them. I'll prob never use his skin. But it's cool and it resembles a boss, specifically a underworld boss.

Final toughts

As you can see, I'm still really hyped, and I like this season very much already. I haven't played any matches yet. I was waiting yesterday – in my country, the updates are usually released at 11AM, so I wake up and download to play after the download. But as you can imagine, it didn't work like that yesterday. I had college (yeah, Fortnite players are at university too), and I just skipped classes so I could play all day the new season. I JUST GOT TO OPEN FORTNITE TODAY. Yestarday, it was 11:50PM in my area when they OPENED the servers (may I remember you I am used to the servers opening 11AM), and I tried launching the game. First I got a key chain error after just 5 minutes of queue, had to reopen the game; 20 minutes of queue, and when it finished, SERVER ERROR; reopened for the last time and it was a 50 MINUTE QUEUE WAITING TIME. I gave up and went to bed, was already feeling bad because of other things. Today I woke up at 10AM, prob because of anxiety, hyperfocus is a messed up things sometimes. And it's when I opened the game for the first time, FINALLY!

Yesterday, I had just woken up, ready to update Fortnite, and one of my friends sent me the MIDAS skin that is set to release sometime in this season. Oh gosh, when I tell you that I WOKE UP with his message, I REALLY woke up. I LOVE MIDAS!!! He's been my obsession since mid last year, and because of him I started really hyperfocusing in Fortnite. I was already hyperfocused, but not really caring that much about the lore or characters. And in these past months, all I've been wanting is his Midsummer skin to come back to the item shop (and summer in my country is almost getting over, it's a bit depressing that Epic doesn't change seasonal items according to match the countries/emispheres. I'll only be able to get his SUMMER skin at WINTER, as USA summer is in the middle of the year, when it's already winter here). Now I have a reason to be even more hyped for this season – he can be released at any moment! Oh my man, I've been waiting patiently for you. And I'm happy.

Well, I already talked much. It's not my fault, it's autism. Yeah. If yall have any questions about this season, regarding especially the greek mythology (hellenic religion/philosophy), you can contact me, leave an ask, a comment, whatever. I'll be SO happy to answer!

some offering I made to Lady Aphrodite last year :)

[burguesinha24]

An Unlikely Alliance: Part 4

(idrk if this is going to be a good chapter, but i'm trying guys 😭)

(uses my oc Victoria and @virydia's oc Estelle)

warnings: cursing

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There are two types of bitches in this world. There's the whiny, stupid, annoying bitch that everyone hates, and there's the badass, girlboss, mansplain bitch that everyone loves. Vox was going to make sure he was the girlbossing kind.

He was not a whiny bitch.

He was not a whiny bitch.

He was not a-

"Vox! Get out of the fucking bathroom! Val's going crazy again!" Velvette's loud, agrivated voice interrupted Vox's thoughts. She banged on the door to mark each word, and Vox sighed heavily, leaning against the wall.

"Deal with it yourself. I'm not his fucking babysitter. I've got other places to be." He growled, glancing at the locked door before looking back at the mirror. Alastor had filled him in on the plan to get Victoria and Estelle to seperate, and he had clear instructions on what to do in order for the plan to work. Vox frowned at his reflection, running a hand down his screen.

He hated every part of this.

He hated actually taking what the damn deer demon said into consideration.

But he also hated the idea of spending one more damn second with him.

This was for Victoria's good, right? Any contact with anyone even associated with the Radio Demon was going to be bad for her. He was doing this for her. Right. Totally.

"I'm a fucking jackass, aren't I?" He deadpanned.

"Yes you fucking are! Now hurry up before Val kills our entire staff." Vox rolled his eyes.

I'm so tired of this shit.

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Contrary to Vox's bitching and moaning, Alastor was having a blast. It was hard to contain his glee when he was so close to ridding himself of that blasted TV's companionship. Estelle would be hurt for a little bit, but she'd thank him in the end. After all, Alastor was always right.

"Oh, darling!" He sang, stepping into their shared room with a flourish. Estelle looked up from her book (Fifty Shades of Grey, courtesy of Angel Dust.)

"Yes, dear?"

"I think you should do a surprise broadcast tonight." Estelle frowned, blinking owlishly up at him.

"Why?"

"Because I do so love your singing." Estelle giggled, shaking her head and rising from the bed.

"Oh alright. But only for you."

"Only for me." He repeated, biting his lip to stop a barrage of gleeful giggles from leaving his throat.

Estelle walked to her side of Alastor's recording tower, singing into the microphone and smiling over at Alastor as she did so. His eyes darkened as he watched her.

Oh how blissfully unaware you are, my love.

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"VOX!" Vox jumped up from his desk, his eyes widening as Victoria stomped angrily into his office. The fur on her ears and tail was spiked up, and a small emerald green flame hovered in the area just above her horns. Her nails had extended into long, black claws, and her fangs were bared.

Oh? He thought, furrowing his eyebrows as his love panted, her eyes dark and glowing with rage. Has he already enacted phase one? Damn, he's fast.

"Yes, darling?" Victoria clenched her fists tightly, her lower lip trembling as she spoke.

"Estelle just fucking released one of my new songs on her fucking radio show!" Vox's eyes widened, and he tried his best to feign surprise.

"What? You mean one of the songs going on your new album?"

"Yes!" She cried out, covering her face in her hands. "I trusted her with all those recordings because I wanted her to add backing vocals to the songs." Her voice became softer at the end of the sentence, her fur smoothing out and her form going back to normal. She sounded so... sad.

"Oh, I'm sorry baby." Vox cooed, walking around his desk and enveloping her in his arms. She looked up at him through teary eyes, and he swore he felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. He glanced away, tightening his grip on his wife to stop himself from ruining the plan already. (Seriously, this man is an absolute slave to his wife.)

"What am I going to do?" She asked softly, her ears pressed flat against her head. He sighed, his eyes still trained on the ground.

"Maybe talk to her about it? Maybe it's just a misunderstanding." Victoria inhaled deeply, nodding and stepping out of Vox's grasp.

"That's a good idea. Thank you, babe. I don't know what I'd do without you." Vox smiled fondly at Victoria as she reached up and placed a kiss on his cheek before bounding out of the room to call her friend. He stood there for a few moments, contemplating all of his prior decisions. He didn't know if he could handle any more of seeing his wife as sad as she previously was. He inhaled sharply, marching over to his desk and dialing Alastor's number on the abso-fucking-lutely ancient piece of shit Alastor made him buy.

"We have to talk."

[starry-blue-echoes]

Okay no but Jolyne in Shattered Glass AU is such a funky idea to me.

Considering that she's separate from the whole Joestar-culty business, I feel like maybe she, as well as Josuke and Giorno, would still remain somewhat on the side of good!!

I wonder if, like, her situation in prison would either be similar to Cult of the Lamb, where she gets by exploiting the religion, or just like canon, where it's simply hell for her.

Also, maybe Ermes, Foo, Anasui and co. are like!! Reoccurring rivals that she just gets stuck with (Why did this remind me of Mean Girls??). Even better if they're actually the weird cultists here and just. Automatically assume Jolyne is also culty. She's gaslighting, gatekeeping, and girlbossing.

The idea of like,, fate would probably tie in so heavily here. Where she's part of this evil, cursed lineage, and decides to be free from that sort of burden by being something ELSE than a Joestar. She's Jolyne. It's why she changes her last name, even better in prison, 'cause she knows what that name entails and now decides to truly make it her own.

Would Jolyne even win in this one?? Part of me hopes so, was absolutely gutted watching the end of Stone Ocean, so maybe this time our girl can get a win.

- Bread

I'll admit I don't know much about Cult of the Lamb but yesssssssssss

just. Jolyne slowly learning with a growing horror just who exactly her father is and what he's done. Every wish for her father to have been more present in her life is shattered to pieces left with only a surging relief and terror at what could have been

honestly, the thought of exploiting the cult that Pucci's built up probably does cross her mind, but I think the possible dangers of revealing her name would out weigh the possible benefits. Who knows what they might make her do or expect of her when they learn she's a direct decendant of one of history's most famed dictatorships

so she opts to stay hidden, even though it'll mean getting information is gonna be a lot harder

I'll admit, I'm not super sure on her allies being part of the cult (genuinely a part at least, I can definitely see Hermes pretending to buy into it to get closer to Sports Maxx) but Rivals to Friends could definitely be fun to play with

actually, out of everyone Weather could definitely be part of the cult..... maybe he can get an arc where the gang helps him out of that specific situation. Perhaps Hermes is the one who makes contact first since she's "part of the cult" and since according to everyone he's been here the longest she thinks he'll know the most about the prision

also, Foo is definitely going to be an interesting character and looking on at all the human shenanigans and politics that have been going on with morbid curiosity but also "guys what the fuck-"

I think Jolyne And Co should get to win this one, just on the principal of the mater and to add more contrast to canon. Also, remember how AGES ago I mentioned a SWF Agent arriving in the prision who slowly ends up helping and growing to trust Jolyne? What if it's Dio

(also for a bit of dark humor, Jolyne gets REALLY badly wounded in the end, bad enough she Needs A Hospital and is unconcious for a while, and when she wakes up Dio makes a joke about how she's kept the running "Elder Joestar Dies In The Fight While The Younger One Survives" trend going (since in the first fight, George died while Jonathan survived, then way later Jonathan died while Joseph survived, then Joseph died and Jotaro survived, and then there's now)

also for some angst....... what if the first person who learns Jolyne's secret is Emporio

Emporio, who's mother was murder for the sake of supporting the Joestar Clan and has been on his own for his whole life, learns that one of the people who's the closest thing he's ever had to family is related to them

had he been older, Emporio might've understood things a bit better. He would've been able to connect how Jolyne had no allegiance to the Joestars and that she barely knew her father at all

but he isn't. Emporio is 11 years old and traumitized to high hell and in his eyes someone he loves has betreyed him in one of the worst possible ways

[twoidiotwriters1]

The Curse of Oenone (Leo Valdez xFem!Oc)

A/N: Honestly I love deranged women -Danny Words: 2,089 Series' Masterlist Previous Chapter // Next Chapter Listen to: 'Keeping Your Head Up' -by Birdy

XLV: We Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss Through

It must be sturdy down here because Hazel isn't insisting on going in first before Ara. Unless she's so pissed that she's hoping Ara will die on accident. This wouldn't be the first time in Ara's life that a child of the Underworld prays for her downfall.

The girl walks forward while Leo tries to cheer Hazel up. Ara has a goal and a plan, and that keeps her mind clear, so she's okay... as okay as she can be after hearing her dead sister talking to her. A squeak makes her stop making the two kids behind her collide against her. Gale the gassy polecat is glaring at them from the ground. 

"Not the farting weasel again," Leo groans. "If that thing lets loose in close quarters like this, with my fire and all, we're gonna explode."

The polecat goes off on Leo in a series of irritated screeches and Hazel hushes it. "Be ready," she tells them. "We're getting close." 

"Close to what?" Leo questions.

"Close to me." Answers a fourth voice."Welcome. I've looked forward to this."

The decoration in this new room is screaming: YOU'RE DYING TODAY! But Ara's attention isn't on that. Right in the middle of the chamber, is a set of elevator doors that remind her of the ones leading to Olympus.

"That's it," Ara breathes.

"Yup," Leo sounds less enthusiastic about it. "Those are doors, all right."

Ara spots the chains on each side and her hand reaches for Almighty, but she doesn't move. It can't be this easy.

"Where are you?" Hazel asks tensely.

"Don't you see us? I thought Hecate chose you for your skill."

A dark cloud forms and vanishes just as quickly leaving a tall giant in its place. He's not too different from his brethren, except that he's all black and made of smoke. He's weaponless, which concerns Ara.

Leo whistles under his breath. "You know, Clytius... for such a big dude, you've got a beautiful voice."

"Idiot." 

A woman shows up next to the giant: Full Greek attire, a high updo that reminds Ara of that movie Silena used to love—Pride and Prejudice, the one with Keira Knightley—and a necklace with a miniature maze. 

"Oh!" Ara lets out in understanding. "You're the minotaur's momma!"

"Arae Jackson," the lady sneers. "I have a name."

"Pasiphaë," Hazel replies.

"My dear Hazel Levesque," the woman nods politely.

"You two know each other?" Leo asks. "Like Underworld chums, or—"

"Silence, fool. I have no use for demigod boys—always so full of themselves, so brash and destructive."

"Hey, lady, I don't destroy things much. I'm a son of Hephaestus."

"A tinkerer," Pasiphaë scoffs. "Even worse. I knew Daedalus. His inventions brought me nothing but trouble."

"Daedalus... like, the Daedalus? Well, then, you should know all about us tinkerers. We're more into fixing, building, occasionally sticking wads of oilcloth in the mouths of rude ladies—"

"Leo." Hazel interrupts him. "Let me take this, okay?"

"Listen to your friend—Be a good boy and let the women talk."

Ara's eyes go past the giant and to the doors behind him. She tries to figure out how to run past him, but if he doesn't move, she can't tell how to one-up him. "Easy, child of Olympus," the woman speaks like soothing an energetic puppy. "We'll get to that in a moment."

"Your—your friend doesn't say much," Hazel points out. 

"Pray he stays silent, my dear. Gaea has given me the pleasure of dealing with you; but Clytius is my, ah, insurance. Just between you and me, as sister sorceresses, I think he's also here to keep my powers in check, in case I forget my new mistress's orders. Gaea is careful that way."

"Whatever you're planning," Hazel continues, "it won't work. We've cut through every monster Gaea's put in our path. If you're smart, you'll get out of our way."

"You don't look like much," the woman continues unbothered. "But then you demigods never do. My husband, Minos, king of Crete? He was a son of Zeus. You would never have known it by looking at him. He was almost as scrawny as that one." 

"Wow," Leo grumbles. "Minos must've done something really horrible to deserve you."

"Oh... you have no idea," Pasiphaë's eyes flare up. "He was too proud to make the proper sacrifices to Poseidon, so the gods punished me for his arrogance."

"The Minotaur," Hazel brings up Ara's only memory of the myth.

"Yes. My disgrace was unbearable. After my son was born and locked in the Labyrinth, Minos refused to have anything to do with me. He said I had ruined his reputation! And do you know what happened to Minos, Hazel Levesque? For his crimes and his pride? He was rewarded. He was made a judge of the dead in the Underworld, as if he had any right to judge others! Hades gave him that position. Your father."

"Pluto, actually."

"I knew Minos," Ara declares. "Big-time loser."

"Irrelevant," the woman scowls. "I hate demigods as much as I hate the gods. Any of your brethren who survive the war, Gaea has promised to me, so that I may watch them die slowly in my new domain. I only wish I had more time to torture you properly. Alas—"

The Doors of Death light up a sign letting them know someone is coming. Ara's heart nearly jumps out of her chest.

"There, you see?" Pasiphaë sighs. "The Doors are in use. Twelve minutes, and they will open."

"More giants?" Hazel's voice trembles.

"Thankfully, no. They are all accounted for—back in the mortal world and in place for the final assault... No, I would imagine the Doors are being used by someone else... someone unauthorized."

"Percy and Annabeth," Leo states.

Ara draws out Almighty. "I'm sorry, but there is little you can do to keep me from making sure they get out alive."

"Oh, not to worry." Pasiphaë shrugs. "Clytius will handle them. You see, when the chime sounds again, someone on our side needs to push the UP button or the Doors will fail to open and whoever is inside—poof. Gone. Or perhaps Clytius will let them out and deal with them in person. That depends on you."

"How exactly does it depend on us?" Hazel asks.

"Well, obviously, we need only one set of demigods alive. The lucky two will be taken to Athens and sacrificed to Gaea at the Feast of Hope."

"Obviously," Leo makes a face.

"So will it be one of you two and that annoying boy, or your friends in the elevator? Let's see who is still alive in twelve... actually, eleven minutes, now."

Ara runs into battle only to be swallowed up by darkness. Just like in her dreams, she gets spit out in the middle of a different scenery, with Hazel and Leo on each side of her.

"What the heck? Where are we?" Leo looks around in confusion.

"This is an illusion," Ara turns to Hazel with urgency. "Get us out of it."

Hazel scowls. "I'm trying."

Leo lightly hits a wall with his fist. "Pretty solid illusion."

"Annoyingly realistic," Ara agrees. "But it's beatable. It has to be."

"Got it," Hazel replies grumpily. "Would be more useful if you could just shoot around until you hit Pasiphaë?"

The woman laughs, and the illusion becomes stronger. "Oh..." Ara backtracks until she's right up against the wall. "No no no..." Her eyes widen. "Not this place again..."

"What? What is it?" Leo gets closer. "What's wrong?"

"The Labyrinth," Hazel says with a stringy voice. "She's remaking the Labyrinth."

It's the only thing in the world that makes Ara's skin crawl this way, and now she's back in it.

"What now?" Leo asks anxiously. "I thought the Labyrinth collapsed during that battle at Camp Half-Blood—like, it was connected to Daedalus's life force or something, and then he died."

"Ah, but I am still alive," the sorcesses replies bemusedly. "You credit Daedalus with all the maze's secrets? I breathed magical life into his Labyrinth. Daedalus was nothing compared to me—the immortal sorceress, daughter of Helios, sister of Circe! Now the Labyrinth will be my domain."

"This place was indecipherable," Ara's knees buckle. "I can't beat it!"

"It's an illusion," Hazel reminds her. "We just have to break through it."

"Too late, too late," Pasiphaë taunts them. "The maze is already awake. It will spread under the skin of the earth once more while your mortal world is leveled. You demigods... you heroes... will wander its corridors, dying slowly of thirst and fear and misery. Or perhaps, if I am feeling merciful, you will die quickly, in great pain!"

Ara remembers what it did to Chris and Clarisse, and how it got Lee Fletcher killed. She wants no more suffering, her people have seen enough of that. "You petty psycho!" The girl hisses. "You're gonna sit there in your centuries-old mummified ass and antagonize a trio of TEENAGERS? You can stick your loathing up your crinkled butt!"

Ara turns to Hazel with vengeful, wild eyes. She's been cornered and hates when others make her feel small. Nemesis told her she'd be a massive pain in the ass for others one day, Pasiphaë's about to find out.

She holds Hazel's face and uses charmspeak. "Hazel, this is your labyrinth. Build us a way out." Hazel raises a hand, opening a hallway before them. The girl runs tugging them forward. "Give her what she wants!" Ara encourages her.

The floor opens and Hazel jumps in, pulling Ara and Leo along. Both scream as they fall, but they land much faster than expected, and it doesn't hurt. The walls around them flicker and Ara spots Pasiphaë.

"You'll rot in your hatred!" She grabs her flintlock and shoots. "Hazel's so much better than you! "

"Eight minutes now!" Pasiphaë speaks over her, the walls building back up. "I'd love to see you survive, truly. That would prove you worthy sacrifices to Gaea in Athens. But then, of course, we wouldn't need your friends in the elevator."

Ara whispers directions to Hazel every time the walls flicker so the younger girl can build a path. Hazel does make a show out of it imagining traps, poisonous gas, and debris that collapses around them, which delights Pasiphaë so much she puts less effort into the illusion.

"Seven minutes now—If only we had more time! So many indignities I'd like you to suffer."

Ara still feels like a scared ten-year-old, she still thinks of herself as the short, vain girl she was seven months ago when she met Leo. It may feel like she has nothing to offer, but she does.

"I'll show you indignity," Ara turns Almighty into a bow. She uses her charmspeak again. "Show yourself, Pasiphaë!"

Ara's voice comes out stronger than the woman's defenses, so distracted that her mind can't reject the orders. The walls flicker away and Hazel sees Pasiphaë, and when the woman lifts the illusion again, it's too late.

Hazel creates a ramp and pushes them forward to throw them into a large pit. This time, the fall doesn't last at all and the trio drops right on top of Pasiphaë. "Ack!" The witch squeals under them and tries to crawl out.

Ara tackles her again and presses her knee on Pasiphaë's chest, then raises her bow and tenses an arrow on it aiming at the woman's head. 

"Three minutes," she speaks, her gaze cold and calculating. "Any last words?"

"You miserable wretches!" The sorceress cries.

"Leo, tie her hands."

"Gladly." The boy gets to work while Ara still aims at the woman.

"You must really hate demigods," Hazel smiles mockingly. "We always get the best of you, don't we, Pasiphaë?"

"Nonsense! I will tear you apart! I will—"

"We're always pulling the rug out from under your feet," Ara doesn't know why Hazel's taunting Pasiphaë when she's already subdued, but she won't complain. "Your husband betrayed you. Theseus killed the Minotaur and stole your daughter Ariadne. Now three second-rate failures have turned your own maze against you. But you knew it would come to this, didn't you? You always fall in the end."

"I am immortal!" She wriggles against the ropes. "You cannot stand against me!"

"You can't stand at all," Hazel grins.

"You're dying," Ara's gaze darkens as she tenses the bow again.

"Are you killing her?" Hazel asks with genuine curiosity.

She freezes, then lowers the bow. Hercules's words come back to her: all children of Olympus are killers. Ara eyes the witch with apathy, turning away from her. "I'm better than that."

"Okay," Hazel points at the floor where the woman is kneeling. "Bye!"

The ground swallows her. Leo stares at the girls with his mouth wide open. "You make a spooky team!"

The elevator doors ding again, Ara glows silver and shoots the arrow at the button to let her friends out. Smoke comes out of it like it's been severely overused, and Percy and Annabeth spill out onto the hard floor.

Next Chapter –>

Taglist.

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[surpriserose]

i cant get over how fucking fascist the dark knight rises is which like...i knew going in it would be if only because its based on frank millers the dark knight comics (and also no mans land???) And frank miller is the biggest piece of shit in comics whos not alan moore or garth ennis but christ i think nolan managed to go even more mask off

Okay grain of salt im not the biggest comics guy i just read the good stuff sylvie sends me so im not as knowledgeable about comic stuff but i stay silly anyways im gonna go character by character thats easiest for me

So batmans barely here except to become disabled and then practically heal overnight so very cool point number one 😐 but half of the movie hes stuck in the scary pit prison (because the Lazarus pit is too silly for nolan) with all the arab guys who didnt get whitewashed and its so boring and it sucks and only white people made it out of the pit ever basically who gives a shit it sucks honestly the only reason im mentioning this is because i honestly forgot bane wasnt the main character about an hour in because like? He should be? and ill get to that

Joseph gordon levitt is there and his character has a name and i do just want to call him joseph gordon levitt instead but thats long as fuck and hes robin so im just gonna call him robin even though he sucks ass. the whole point of his character is to be the good cop to gordons bad cop but it doesnt really work because thats a shitty fucking thing you see in media all the time because they always just go for the its just some bad apples approach look at this good apple dont you love apples approach but honestly nolans deepthroating the boot so much its even worse here. and yeah dudes robin but hes like.... nolans oc as robin because thank god i dont want dick in this movie (which would bring the whitewashing count up to 4 characters) or god forbid jason todd but i think its really telling how even robin in this universe has to be a fucking cop instead of like any of the disadvantaged kids bruce actually takes in like yeah this robin is still an orphan but thats way less important to the narrative and to nolan than being a cop.

gordons also barely here and i dont give a shit about him i wish he died i mean i always wish he died because hes a cop he is THE cop in every batman piece of media (except when he was jack the ripper one time or something?) and why even the most benign batman media is copaganda because theyre fucking besties. really i just want to talk about one scene before I get to the bulk of this post bane. late in the fucking almost THREE HOUR LONG MOVIE theres a scene where gordon is rallying the cops and goes to some cops door and hes like "why did you let your wife answer the door dont you know whats going on out there?" as if women are being raped on the streets of gotham which we never even see a fucking hint of??? the actual main issues affecting gotham at the moment are food issues and even thats not a problem because aid is getting in slowly and thats actually how gordon gets MORE FUCKING COPS into the city its insane and im gonna come back to this again with bane but while we're talking about the misogny -

-lets talk about catwoman who just kind of exists doing the catwoman thing of oh im on batmans side but not really and im on banes side but not really and it sucks but lets start with the misogyny before i talk about catwomans spineless centrism. when catwoman is caught by joseph gordon levitt shes taken to prison and the cops specifically point out shes taken to a mens prison (?????) because of the new laws because shes such a risk that a maximum security womens prison cant hold her but a mens prison can because womens prisons are all knitting circles i guess. This is really just an excuse so she can be in the prison that bane stages a prison break on (based) and come back for the climax and also have a hashtag girlboss moment where she does a sexy flip attack against a man threatening to sexually assault her which is just so classy nolan. and i want to fucking point out that this is blackgate prison which in most batman media is ALREADY FUCKING COED this shit was so unnecessary and gross and i just...its still pissing me off obviously so lets get to catwomans shitty fucking robin hood shit and why robin hood narratives are rarely ever radical. yes stealing from the rich and giving to the poor is cool but here and in most narratives its really only cool because its..one person or a small group. A society wide redistribution of wealth? out of the question thats too scary just go back to helping one kid steal an apple lady and hating that bane is literally crashing wall street (based) and breaking into rich peoples homes and bringing them to sentencing trials for crimes against humanity (based). Catwoman will have no part of that thank you and will instead just kind of...hang out until batman gets back.

side note what the fuck is up with the timeline in this movie batman gets his back broken and taken to the pit which is located in....an "ancient part of the world" the batman wiki tells me which holy shit okay the racism continues forever. but batman is not in gotham and again his back is literally BROKEN until it gets healed because he....was hoisted into a standing position with a rope? and idk how long that takes whether its months or a day because the movie seems to suggest both???

okay lets talk about talia al ghul and ras al ghul really quick before i get to based bane. Ill start by saying they're really fucking whitewashed like probably the worst example ive ever seen? Talia (or miranda tate as she's called for most of the movie) is played by a white french actress and Ra's al ghul is played by white irish actor and racist liam neeson. Because the comics are also racist ras al ghul never is really given a clear country of origin besides vaguely arabic slash east asian partially because hes so old but also again the racism but hes certainly not white again...because of the racism. and neither is talia who is only slightly less vaguely chinese and arabic. nolan gives even less of a shit than most batman writers though which is a high bar. talia was so boring and poorly written i barely remember her but they gave her half hearted attempts at environmentalism (incremental and done by begging the rich for everything though of course) before saying oh its actually because she and bane want to blow gotham up with a bomb which...god its all so stupid i honestly forget the bomb shit exists because it makes no sense and seems to have a detonation timer of 24 hours which again is why i literally have no idea what the timeline is. this shit is so stupid and unnecessary except to be the secret reason banes populist revolution of gotham (based) is actually bad but its so fucking tacked on even beyond most reasons why communist characters in media eat a baby to show theyre actually bad and so is communism because communists love neutron bombs.

BANE TIME! I'll also start out by pointing out that bane is whitewashed since hes supposed to be from a fictional south american slash caribbean island prison which......man. He's just tom hardy here though. Lets keep talking about communists eating a baby so theyre bad now. I think this is a trope people associate more with the mcu which is fair the falcon and the winter soldier pulled some shit because of course it did but i think we should consider the dark knight rises as a prime example instead. Not the originator since anti communism didn't start with nolan although i wish i could blame him for that too. Banes list of crimes batman has to stop him for are killing cia agents (based), crashing the stock market which he didn't even kill anyone at (not as based as he could have been), stage a prison break as previously mentioned (based), revealing police corruption (based), forming a militia to govern gotham while theres a transition of power from the rich and the police to the people (based), killing a bunch of cops (based), exploding some of gotham including all but one of the bridges out of the city (really just a strategic decision since hes about to have the american military on his ass and needs to counter that), and blowing up the pittsburgh steelers (extremely based). hey why is this guy the villain again? hey why does gotham have a wall street now why is this such a big deal is it possibly because the occupy wall street protests happened before during and after production of the movie? no that certainly couldnt be the case theres no way nolan would hate peaceful protests and create a movie where god forbid they werent peaceful and cops were instead treated like they treat protestors so we feel bad for them instead of people who are literally sick and tired of their labor being exploited by capitalism for the benefit of the rich. like jesus christ this movie is so blatantly fascist explaining the plot should have anyone going hey wait a minute. and you may say im biased in favor of bane as a communist but jesus christ are you seeing the shit nolan is pulling im being even handed in comparison i mean the fucking climax is batman showing up to rally the cops against bane and the mostly citizens militia of gotham like jesus fucking christ. banes not even a fucking dictator hes literally just some guy in most of the scenes after gotham is taken back by the people hes not even the guy sentencing and killing the rich and the police thats scarecrow! hes just on the sides like everyone else. and while im on scarecrow (jonathan crane hes not called scarecrow in the movie but he is that judge guy) nolan treats it as unreasonable that these are not hearings to determine the guilt of the police and the rich they protect because the people have already determined that theyre guilty but they just fucking are by definition. you dont get rich under capitalism by working hard you get rich by exploiting hundreds of thousands or millions of people out of their labor and livelihoods these people are fucking guilty even if they havent killed anyone with their own hands. but because bane does kill people on screen we're supposed to think hes worse but he only kills rich people and cops and the pittsburgh steelers!!!! like holy shit i hate this fucking movie i hate christopher nolan

[ladystrallan]

Once Upon a Time season 5A thoughts

I’m rewatching OUAT and I wanted to share some of my opinions on each season!

- The random girl shushing his ominous speech is so funny

- Wow he just poofed into dust

- Omg the end of excalibur is the dagger

- “Mate don’t” idk why but that is funny

- “We need someone wicked” yassss

- Omg the rose

- Wow iconic move to cut her hand off to remove the bracelet

- She is so good at manipulating everyone

- Gaslight gatekeep girlboss

- “Accent’s a bit much no?” Lol rumple

- “Out dwarves, adults only” Regina…

- “Well… you don’t look like a crocodile” why is this episode so funny

- Okay I remember really not liking Arthur and the whole Camelot plot line

- OUAT loves a memory loss plot

- Omg dark emma

- She’s got a cool look

- Not dopey turning into a tree

- OMG WHAT IS THAT THING???

- Hook: Emma look at me this isn’t you

- Of course she can’t dance

- Omg that guy is evil or something

- A demon sent from the underworld… hmmmm I feel like I know a hot guy from there

- I seriously can’t wait for 5b to see my man <3

- Omg Henry and Violet is so cute (I remember liking them together)

- He whips out the ipod lol

- This song is kind of a bop

- Omg she destroyed his village

- I guess there was a Robin fake out death before it actually happened

- Can you make the price like a dollar or something? Or does it have to be of equal value

- “WE’VE BEEN VIOLATED” lol

- “Have you thought about kissing it out?” Omg that’s so funny

- Regina is such a hypocrite

- She has done things just as bad if not worse than what Zelena did and yet she deserves redemption and Zelena doesn’t???

- “I wished him happy just not with my wife” lol

- “What’s that then” “It’s a picture from up inside Zelena” “Woah mate” I’M DYING

- Arthur is giving me Louis from Versailles vibes

- And if you’ve seen my Versailles thoughts, you know how I feel about Louis (I hate him)

- Noooo not on her birthday

- DAVID NO DON’T TRUST HIM

- Omg they kissed

- I mean, if you’re neglecting your wife it’s kinda understandable if she cheats

- “Well, there’s this girl” “Is there indeed?” Loved the delivery Killian

- “Is that your dad?” “No it’s my horse” lol

- That’s sinister, using magic to keep your wife from leaving you

- Arthur is such an asshole omg

- Omg Merida is back

- “I need you to make him brave” wow that’s what her movie is called

- Ooh that’s Merlin

- I’m pretty sure he was talking about Nimue (and she was the first dark one)

- Well that’s a way to meet the dad

- “When this kingdom is attacked by ogres” WHY IS IT ALWAYS OGRES???

- Awwww that’s cute a little date

- “Um hi milady” lol

- Not the friend zone

- This is giving me so much second hand embarrassment

- Taunting rumple with belle is the way to make him brave

- She is his courage… that’s so cute

- Love the arrow in the intro

- Wow I guess no one cares about rumple then

- Slay belle for standing up for him

- NO NOT THE CHIPPED CUP

- Please tell me they can fix it :(

- NOOOOO DON’T KILL BELLE

- I do like the idea of rumple being all heroic for her

- Omg I’m crying this is so sweet

- Zelena and Emma team up??? Iconic

- YASSSS RUMPLE

- “He’s not my sweetheart” I think he is belle ;)

- OMG SLAY RUMPLE

- “You saved me” “Actually I think you saved me” AWWWWWWWW

- “I would change everything for you” screaming

- YASSSSSS RUMPLE PULLING THE SWORD

- I’m a slut for good rumple (or just rumple in general lol)

- I do miss him having magic though

- Why is Zelena so slay all the time?

- The outfits, the acting, the trickery, 10/10

- Emma’s lucky she didn’t get the dark one skin condition

- She just got a bleach job and a new outfit

- Arthur is such a dickhead omg i can’t stand him

- Lol Rumple’s Merlin impression

- Zelena was like switched sides? Time for an outfit change

- Omg she’s going into labour

- Why does every evil person want a baby? How many dark spells require that?

- Omg the house that he picked

- “Did someone scream for a doctor?” Yasssss Dr Whale is back!

- Did he go to the same hair salon as Emma lol

- Yassss mulan is back!

- Mulan and Merida: iconic team up

- RUBY!

- So many characters I love are back this season :)

- OMG IT WAS ARTHUR

- Me anytime I see Arthur: “Dickhead”

- OMG RUMBELLE

- MY HEART

- THEY ARE SO CUTE

- Regina & co are actually so awful to Zelena about this whole baby thing

- Like I get that it’s Robin’s baby but it’s hers too

- And I’m pretty sure being away from the mother is bad for a baby’s development

- Like at least let her visit with supervision

- I guess when you become the dark one you immediately know how to use magic

- Ok I guess they are letting her see her baby

- SHE CAME TO THE WELL

- NOOOOOOOO

- Was not expecting the break up part 2 :(

- Me sobbing

- How is she pregnant in 5b though???

- They must get together by the end of 5a

- Catch me opening the underworld portal so I can see my man <3

- The visual of all the dark ones sitting in the boat together is so funny to me

- It’s giving summer camp vibes

- “The underworld is worse than you could possibly imagine” uhhhh no rumple my true love is there so I think it’s pretty great

- Awwww rumple sending her to see the world

- NOOOOOO RUMPLE IS MARKED

- That’s actually so vile to send her away so she literally CANNOT SEE HER BABY

- Slay move by hook

- Rip (until he gets resurrected)

- Belle didn’t leave!

- THEY’RE KISSING

- YASSSSSSS

- And the baby was conceived ;)

- Rumple being the dark one again, kinda slay

- Kind of bad for his redemption arc though

- “I will always find you” we love a good iconic line

- I am so excited to see Hades!!! Love of my life (and death)

How I feel about the characters this season

Love: RUMPLE (10/10 character development), Belle, Zelena, Dr Whale, Merida

Like: Emma, Hook, Mulan, Ruby, Nimue (idk she’s kinda cool)

Neutral: Snow, David, Merlin, Guinevere, Henry

Dislike: Regina, Robin

Hate: Arthur

Season rating: 6/10

Firstly, I HATE ARTHUR AND I CAN’T WAIT UNTIL HE’S DEAD. I don’t care for the Camelot arc, but I do like dark Emma and Rumple got some really good character development (even though he went back to being the dark one). I also like Merida and it was nice to see Ruby, Dr Whale, and Mulan again. Gets an extra 0.5 for setting up my absolute favourite arc in the show (the underworld)

[affablyevilshowdown]

Small Bracket Round 1-11

Traumatized girlbosses can commit a little murder as a treat

Helena G. Wells (Warehouse 13): She has a tendency to temporarily revert to The Dark Side

Ada Graceheart (Medieval Cop): (under cut due to actual spoilers)

Ada: So after she was adopted from the orphanage her parents took her to compete in Store-brand Hunger Games, and She Won! And then turned around and murdered every single person who was watching for entertainment