#ever think about how exer said harry was overreacting while Jackson was setting outside going through a mental breakdown?

[cryptonic0dreamer]

Jackson's Diary: Oneshot: Inspired by chapter 131-132: Jackson centric: Angst: Hurt no comfort: No beta we die like exer: Jaxer(?): Could be read as platonic or romantic

And My Blood Will Freeze For You

Jackson has always been used to the cold, ever since his mother died alongside the emptiness he always felt winter had made a home in his heart.

Today was different, today the usually quiet winter raged a storm. He can feel the frost spreading from his ribcage and through the rest of his body ever so patient yet quick, his blood turning into icicles that would cut his skin from the inside to make it's way outside of his body leaving a bloody mess in the painful process.

The rain was pouring outside, the sound of each drop like a song that rhythm with his storm; quiet and almost unheard to the outsiders yet rining in his ears loud enough he can drown in it, and there will be nobody to save him.

Nobody to reach their hand to him, to chase him down a hallway or constantly ask him if he's feeling ok even though he won't talk and he would deserve it

He would deserve drowning for the entire night because he fucked up and hurt Exer

Jackson grinds his teeth and without even knowing it, soft tears start forming in his eyes.

Jackson had spent a long time wishing that he could go back in time to his childhood and do something anything to save his mother, now he wishes more than anything that if only he could go back and change the results of what had happened for Exer.

His mind scrambled at all the things he could've done. If only he never picked up that dairy. If only he never reached out to Exer again. If only he had told the truth. If only he never went to the forest earlier today. If only he ran after David instead,

(If only he never warned David about that rock. A cruel part in him whispers)

Jackson pushes the possibilities away, now only focusing on replaying the events in his head again and again and again and again until the scenes crash together and he can see himself in Exer's place.

He focuses his thoughts on that imagine, his cold blood spilling out. His body laying beneath the rock, his breath shallow as he breathes out cold smoke. Maybe if he tries hard enough he could believe that this is what had happened, that he's the one in the hospital bed and Exer is waiting out with Pamela and David,

Because that's what should have been. That's the reality they should be living in, not the real one he's forced to face right now.

He should've been the one hurt, not Exer. Never Exer

And the worst part is that this won't be the last of it.

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THAT'S ALL FOLKS!

Keep dreaming!