#ever since i was a little girl i've known i wanted to make a fed visit worthy post about furuta
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rehide · 4 months ago
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trump on monday
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nightxcreature · 2 months ago
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About Damn Time
A/N: I am certainly not a Sam girl, but I thought that I would try out something for him. Dean is my favorite, the LOML, but I'm trying to expand my horizons when writing, so heres a short one for Sammy. Written fast, edited poorly
Warnings: Drugs...sort of? Forced marriage, unrequited love on one part.
Pairings: Sam Winchester x reader, Dean Winchester x Friend!Reader, Becky Rosen x Sam Winchester
I was nursing a drink at a little strip club in Las Vegas, not exactly the place I wanted to be, but Dean wasn't leaving without hitting up a Vegas club first. He was chatting up the bartender while I sent yet another text to Sam, begging for him to at least tell me he was alive. He had left on a solo hunt a few days ago and we haven't been able to find him since. Dean keeps trying to reassure me that he's fine, but I know he's been messaging him just as much as I have. If not more.
"Hey, he just sent me a text. He's four blocks away and wants me to meet him with a suit." Dean's voice snaps me out of my own head, and I look toward him in confusion.
"Four blocks? I've been texting him all day, why didn't he just tell me that?" I question, mostly to myself.
Dean shrugs and leaves some cash on my table, "Maybe he's just been busy with another hunt. He's probably getting ready to do some fed interviews since he's got me bringing a suit."
I nod and grab my things, following behind him to the door. My phone dings as I get into the front seat, and I scramble to find it.
Sam: Who is this?
Me: What do you mean who is this? It's your girlfriend.
Sam: I don't have a girlfriend, I have a fiancée. Stop texting this number.
Me: Sam, this isn't funny. Dean and I are on our way.
"Dean, I think something's wrong. He's acting like he doesn't know who I am." I say as Dean flies down the street, "Where did he say he was?"
Dean shrugs, "Looks like a wedding chapel. He's probably just posing as a priest or crashing a wedding to get more info."
"But why would he pretend not to know me? He said he's engaged..." I reply placing a hand against my temple, "Something just feels wrong."
"Maybe he's just playing a prank on you. We'll figure it out if he isn't."
______________________________________________________________
As we step into the building the lights flicker causing Dean to send me a cautious look, pulling out our guns we slowly make our way through the hall toward the main chapel. The lights in the main room are bright and I have to put a hand in front of my eyes to adjust to the difference, finally coming to my senses I suck in a quick breath and stop in my tracks. Sam stands at the end of the aisle, a small smile on his face and a carnation boutonniere attached to his suit jacket. The world feels like it's moving in slow motion as he makes his way toward us, grabbing Deans gun and rushing to put it away.
"What are you doing?" He whispers angrily, dragging Dean to the front of the chapel. I slowly follow behind, unsure of exactly what's going on and where I should stand.
"What am I doing? What are you doing?" Dean asks, shoving Sam's hands off his arm, "Are we crashing a monster wedding or something?"
Sam reaches over and grabs another carnation, pining it to Dean's jacket and handing me a bouquet, "What? No! I'm in love."
Dean glances my way, a curious glint in his eye, "Oh really? Who could've guessed?"
I giggle and place a hand on Sam's arm, "Listen, maybe we should talk about this first."
He sends a funny look my way and stands up straighter, "Why? I know it's a little quick, but I'm in love. I know what I want and it's to get married. Today."
A look of shock passes my face, we hadn't even said 'I love you' yet. I mean, obviously I do love him, he's the sweetest guy I've ever known, but marriage? We don't exactly live a life that allows that most of the time.
"Maybe we should talk about this more in depth first."
"No. I know what I want." He says curtly, his frown immediately flipping upside down when the wedding march begins, and I hear the chapel doors swing open.
"What. The. Fuck." Dean lets out, grabbing my shoulders and spinning me toward the door.
Becky Rosen, the biggest Supernatural fan alive, is slowly making her way down the aisle to my boyfriend.
"What the fuck is right." I whisper, "Sam, what the hell is going on?"
"I love her." He answers simply.
"No, you don't." Dean says, yanking him back from the Elvis impersonator at the end of the aisle, "You've lost your mind."
"No, I haven't! We ran into each other, talked for a while, and I realized that I'm in love." Sam angrily responds as Dean shoves him into a pew.
He turns and points toward Becky and then at the pew in front of him, "You, sit. Now." Becky nods quickly and sits beside Sam, keeping a little space between them that Sam quickly closes pulling her closer, "Let her go, you don't love her. You love her!" Dean yells, pointing between Becky and me.
"I don't even know her!" Sam yells back, pulling Becky closer into his side as she giggles, "Becky is the love of my life."
I roll my eyes, "Are you sure she didn't poison you? This isn't the first time she's tried to get you into her bed."
Becky scoffs, "He loves me, didn't you hear him? I know that must be hard to accept, but it's true."
"Yeah, right." I nod, "Sam, you can't marry her. You don't even know her."
"I already did."
"What?" Dean and I question in unison.
Becky's smile grows even wider, "The ceremony is just for pictures, we signed the papers before you got here."
As she finishes her sentence, Elvis waltzes back up with the bill and Becky stands to follow him. Sam kisses her before she leaves, and I almost throw up.
"Dude, could you stop?" Dean suggests, "This could all be something written by Chuck. We need to figure that out before you go off with your new...wife." He sends me an apologetic look and then turns back to Sam,
"Chuck has nothing to do with this. I'm going back to Delaware with my wife, just be happy for me." Sam stands as Becky reenters the room and they head out the door for their...honeymoon.
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I lay in the motel room alone while Dean is snooping at Becky's under the guise of bringing a gift. He suggested I stay back saying that he doesn't want to cause any problems for the happy couple, but I know that he really just wants to save me the anger and pain of seeing Sam with someone else. How does this even happen? I grab my laptop and click on my search engine, typing in anything that could give us insight into what's going on. Suddenly, Dean bursts through the door with Sam leaning against him and a smaller guy on their heels.
I Jump up from the bed and rush toward them, running my hands over Sam's face as he slowly blinks into consciousness, "What's going on? Is he okay?"
"Demons. He's fine, just tired. Becky was loading him up with some purple potion every day." Dean says as he grabs a beer from the fridge.
Sam reaches over and grabs my hand from where I placed it on the table beside him. He tugs me closer and leans against my chest, "Hey." He whispers quietly.
"Hi."
He sheepishly smiles as he looks up at my face, "Sorry that I forgot who you are."
I giggle and place a hand on his cheek, "You were drugged, I can't hold it against you. Just make sure it's me that you're meeting at the end of the aisle next time, ok?"
He chuckles and stretches up to kiss my lips, "Sounds good to me."
I stop short from touching his lips and smile, "Are you still married? I'm not comfortable being the cause for your infidelity."
He returns my smile and pulls my lips to his in a soft kiss before saying, "I signed the papers before we came up. You're no longer the other woman." He kisses me again and runs a hand through my hair, "I did realize something through all of this though."
"Yeah? Whats that?" I inquire, an eyebrow raised.
"Have I ever told you that I love you?" He asks quickly, a shy blush rising in his cheeks.
"No, but you can."
"I love you." He whispers as he places his lips on mine again, "I really, really do."
"I love you, too." I return, smiling against his lips.
A slow clap begins behind us as Dean steps out of the bathroom, "It's about damn time."
A/N: I said this would be short, but it is not. My bad. Love you guys!
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callalillywrites · 3 months ago
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Steve's Choice
I've been listening to a bunch of music (old and new) while working on various projects. A few songs have struck inspirational chords and are bringing about a few different upcoming stories.
Find Version 2 of this song here.
Here is the first story based on this song:
youtube
Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader (can be read as gender neutral)
Word Count: 695
Summary: The time heist had been successful. Thanos was destroyed. It was time to put the Stones back where they belonged. Steve volunteered, and you knew it would be the last time you saw him.
Warnings: Bittersweet ending, angst, amicable breakup
A/N: It’s proofread but all mistakes are my own.
I do not give permission for my work to be copied or posted on other sites or fed into an AI machine.
*****
Steve was leaving.
You could feel it in your bones.
He stood near the platform Bruce had quickly assembled after Tony’s funeral. The Stones packed neatly and carefully in the briefcase Steve held. He’d just hugged Bucky. An inner joke shared between them.
Then, Steve stepped back, swiveling on his heels.
The distance between you had never felt longer though he covered it in a few steps.
A watery smile graced your features as you looked upon the man you loved for the last time.
“Hey, I’ll be back soon,” Steve said, the promise falling flat. His gaze never quite reached yours as he said the words. It confirmed the truth you’d known was a long time in coming.
You shook your head. “No, you won’t, and it’s okay, Steve.”
“But –”
“Steve, I love you. I think I’ve loved you since we met in New York eleven years ago,” you paused to gather yourself and retain what composure you had left, “but I’m not where you belong. I never was.”
“Angel, I…” Steve let the words die.
You could tell he wanted to lie to you. To tell you everything you wanted to hear.
A week ago, you would’ve wanted to hear the lies. You would’ve wanted to cling to him and believe them. But it wasn’t meant to be. It never was. His heart has and will always belong to Peggy Carter.
Before he could try and regroup, you pressed a hand to his mouth. “Please, I don’t want or need you to lie to me, Steve. This isn’t your fault, and I don’t need you to make this better. You didn’t do anything wrong. I won’t have you thinking you have.”
This time, you paused to swallow the emotion clogging your throat. It took you another minute to collect yourself and give him a genuine smile.
“Go and get your girl, Cap. She’s waiting for you. I just know it.”
You rose on your tiptoes one last time. With a soft kiss to his cheek, you whispered, “Be happy, Steve. You deserve everything this world has ever offered and taken from you. You’ve settled and compromised since you came out of the ice. It’s time for you to be a little bit selfish, even if that means you’re not mine.”
Steve stared at you for several moments, his eyes growing misty at your words.
Before you could step back, he’d set the briefcase down and grabbed you. His arms wrapped tightly around you while his cheek nuzzled against yours.
He didn’t say anything at first, but he finally whispered, “I really hope you find your one, Angel. You are not someone’s compromise or someone who should be settled for. I do love you, and I always will.”
A single tear streaked down your cheek. “I know. Maybe saying goodbye won’t be a bad thing. At least that’s what I’m hoping.”
His arms tightened around you, impossibly tight, then he slowly released you.
When he picked up the briefcase again, he tapped your chin like he was prone to do all the years you’ve known him. In the same soft voice, he said, “Don’t hate me too much, please.”
“I could never hate you, Steve. No matter how hard I might try to.”
With that, he gave a final smile, then turned toward the platform and suited. It was time to return the stones to their rightful places along the timeline. He had some branches to nip before they took hold and created issues within the universe.
In a blink, he was gone.
Five seconds, Bruce had said.
Those seconds came and went without Steve’s return.
Then again, you knew they would.
He’d gone back to Peggy. Just like you knew he would.
Bruce and Sam argued on how to get him back and what to do with whatever had gone wrong.
Turning to Bucky, you nodded towards your car and asked, “Want a lift? I think there’s a bar in town, and I know I could use a drink.”
Bucky, forever a friend, fell into step beside you. After a moment, he asked, “You okay?”
You spared a glance at the platform, then met his gaze. “I will be.”
*****
Main Masterlist / Song Fic Masterlist
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gaybananabread · 1 year ago
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For #24 (pinned) could you write a fic where Katara sits on top of Aang and tickles him because he’s teasing her?
TickleTober Day 24 - Pinned
I'm sorry this was a day late, this week has been a lot for me. Still, I'm doing my best to get these out! It's been a hot minute since I've done anything for ATLA. Hopefully these goobers aren't too OOC! Again, sorry for the delay, and I hope you Enjoy!
Lee: Aang
Ler: Katara
Summary: Aang is feeling extra cheeky and decides that teasing Katara is a good idea. Little does he know that she's got a few tickly tricks up her sleeve. 
Warnings: none! This is a tickle fic, so if you don't like that, scroll away!!
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The cool, restraining ice held Aang's arms above his head; he had gone a bit too far. "Better get ready, you little jerk." Oh boy… she sounded so fed up with him. 
What got him in this position, you might ask? It all started that morning…
-
Aang knew from the moment he woke up that he was in a bratty mood. He didn't exactly know why, but he felt an intense urge to annoy the hell out of his friends. One waterbender in particular seemed especially teasable… he couldn't resist. The mood needed to be satiated, and Katra was always fun to toy with.
"Heeeeey, beautiful. What'cha doing?" Katana whipped her head around, blushing slightly from the unexpected nickname. "Oh- Just, uhm, sorting out our maps. We've still got quite a while before we reach the next village."
He smirked, looking over the maps. They did have a few hours before Appa got them to the small village; it was a morale-based trip. Ever since taking down the Fire Nation's empire and restoring balance, more and more work needed to be done. Especially in the smaller villages that were ravaged during the battles.
Aang was far from done, though. Her blush was adorable, of course, but the single tease had done little to help his mood. Katara wouldn’t mind a few more, right? “Thanks, you’re the best! I don’t know what I’d do without you!” He slung an arm around her shoulder, pulling the girl in for a tight side-hug. 
What had gotten into him? Katara tried to laugh off her fluster, squirming out of the hug after a second. She didn’t mind his silliness, but that was a bit excessive and cheesy, even for him. “You doing okay, Aang? You’re…very touchy today.”
The sort-of-teen snickered, shrugging. “I dunno. Can’t I shower my partner in praise? I mean, you make it easy; you’re adorable.” He poked her side, knowing he was playing a dangerous game. Katara flinched away from the touch with a repressed giggle, wide-eyed. Adorable? He was asking for trouble…
“Aang, I don’t know what you’re trying to do, but don’t. I can and will shove you out of this saddle.” That should have been his cue to stop and just enjoy the ride with her. Unfortunately for Katara, the Avatar wasn’t known for picking up on those, much less paying attention to them. Aang scooted closer to her, slowly sneaking his hand towards her ribs. He didn’t think it through before he did it.
He sneakily scribbled down her ribcage, not thinking of the repercussions. Katara squeaked, a giggle slipping out before she reacted. Water flew from her canteen, quickly snaking itself around Aang’s arms and pinning him to the floor of the saddle before freezing. Tugging at his icy binds, he realized he was stuck. Katara had full access to his spots, thanks to his loose traveling clothes, and he was too giddy to stop her.
Now that you’re all caught up, let’s get back to Katara’s revenge...
-
Katara flexed her fingers, slowly wiggling them over the boy’s belly. With him pinned like that, she had all the time in the world to tease him. “I’ll give you one chance to redeem yourself. Why are you being such a snot?” 
He giggled, squirming under her teasing nails. She knew exactly what she was doing; he couldn’t tell if he loved or hated it. “Uhum- I juhust wanted to shohohow you hohow awesome you ahahare?” Okay, that was kinda cute. Still, she couldn’t let his goofy teases go unpunished. 
“Hmm…not good enough.” Chuckling, Katara climbed on top of him, straddling his waist. In seconds, her nails were scribbling under his arms. His reaction was instant; loud laughter flew from his mouth as he tried to squirm. “GaaAAH! KAHATARAHAHA! NOHOT THEHERE!”
She snickered, drilling her fingers into his hollows. If there’s one thing she loved about Aang, it was his laugh. Usually he was so carefree, letting the sound flow freely, bringing life and joy to the air. The only difference then was that he was pinned under her, laughing uncontrollably. Still, breathtaking. 
“You should be bratty more often. Gives me plenty of chances to do this~” Her nails moved slowly across his exposed skin, taking full advantage of the robe’s slanted cut. “PLEHEHEASE! TH-THIHIS IHISN’T FAHAHAIR!” Aang was starting to regret teasing her. He couldn’t just sit and wait out the flying bison ride… well, at least it wasn't that terrible.
Katara scoffed, shaking her head at the boy. “Really? How is it not fair? You teased me first; I’m just returning the favor.” She leaned her head down, whispering in his ear. “Besides, we both know you don’t hate this~” The teen wouldn’t be that cruel, though. She moved her fingers down to his sides, taking the focus off his worst spot.
Uuuuugh, why did she have to know him so well? It was criminal how right she always was. “B-buhuhut I dihidn’t tihickle youhuhuhu!” Aang whined through his giggling, tugging at the icy restraints. They weren’t hurting him, but it wasn’t exactly comfortable. Appa’s flying was smooth, giving him zero opportunities to try and flip them.
“That’s true, yeah. But isn’t this so much more fun than me just annoying you back?” Just as she finished her tease, Appa grumbled, taking a quick descent. The pair yelped, Katara’s restraints quickly melting as she lost focus. Aang rocketed upright, zipping over to check on his flying bison. 
There was nothing wrong up front; the skies were clear, and the waters calm. Apparently Appa had just grown tired of their silliness. Aang rubbed his red cheeks, giggling off the rest of his giddiness. “Ahappa…did you gehet annoyed with uhus?” The bison grunted again, as if agreeing with the boy.
Katara snorted, shaking her head at the goofy interaction. That amusement faded to nerves, though, when she saw the look on Aang’s face. “You know Katara, you were right. We *do* have a decent way to go before we reach the village…” 
It wasn’t long before laughter filled the air once again, joy radiating from the saddle and smiles from both parties. Rides like those were the best, even if Appa had to put up with their shenanigans.
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heartysworld · 2 years ago
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The oath he gave || Aemond Targaryen x Reader
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A/N: another request has been delivered bright and shiny! I'm sorry if there are mistakes,I shall fix them tomorrow. It is currently 2am here, I've been up since 5.30 am this morning and I really need my sleep! I hope you guys like this one and if you have any requests feel free to send them! Love ya <3
MASTERLIST
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The Stark brides were known to be fruitful women, ever since the beginning of their lineage the women from the noble house of the North were known for their fertile wombs and high number of children they birthed. That, however, was not the case when it came to you, the younger sister of Cregan Stark, Lord of Winter. You have been married to the King's first son, Prince Aegon, for now half a decade, bit still there was no trace of an heir from you. At first, you though it was just the stress from switching environments,after all, a wolf can hardly adjust to the bright sun and warm air of King's Landing. Now, years later, you were well aware it was not the environment that prevented you from baring heirs. It was something else. Even the Queen herself was becoming worried and irritated. She made this match hoping that this Stark womb of yours would bring her son many children, Gods was she wrong.
Many visits to the Maester's tower, different types of tonics and treatments were also unsuccessful. Nothing seemed to work in your favor. Your husband wasn't in much of a hurry to become a father, thought. Everybody knew that by know. All Aegon wanted in life was his wine and whores, to be taken care of by servants and fed grapes by the woman he beds.
Day and night you prayed to the Gods to grant you one wish,just one, what you desired with your entire being. A small babe, a boy or a girl, it didn't matter, just for it to be healthy and happy.
All went in the opposite direction when the second son of the realm found himself tired of his brother's attitude towards his Lady wife,his future Queen. Ever since your betrothal was announced, Aemond have had his eye on you. There was something about those dark locks of yours that so beautifully framed your face and the pale skin that covered it. In his eyes you were otherworldly, the complete opposite to a woman from his kin.
Your adventures with the younger Prince began after he found himself in your chambers on night after one of the many feasts his cunt of a brother had thrown for Gods know what reason. You left the feast hall with tears in your eyes after your eyes caught your husband openly smothering a servant in his lap,his hands roaming around her body, diving underneath her skirts while his lips traced the skin of her neck and jawline.
You never expected the younger Prince to follow right after you, but he did, and he wasn't planning on leaving you alone.
The words he whispered in your ear that night remained forever embedded in your memory. You even found yourself remembering them whenever you missed your silver haired Prince.
"Let me gift you the one thing my brother failed to give you, my little wolf. Let me fill your womb with a silver haired babe that would make you mine. Not Aegon's,mine." Aemond whispered in your ear while his hands sneaked underneath your skirts, lifting them up.
"Aemond... it's dangerous...what were doing." You managed to whimper out before you felt the tip of his cock enter you slowly. His movements were agonizingly slow, making your hands get a tight hold of his back, sinking in your nails in the skin of his back so deep that you were sure blood was drawn.
"No one will know what we've done, my sweetness. I'll keep you away from harm's way until my last breath on this world. I promise you that." Your Prince said close to your ear while he was assaulting your entrance with all his power.
"As long as you're by my side, I'll give you whatever you want, my Prince. Just be with me." You answered just before he drew out another moan from you.
That faithful night was followed by many others, similar to it. Late at night, your beloved would find his way in your chambers and he would take you as many times as he wished in any position he desired. In those moments you shared with Aemond you felt like you were living your best life. As if you had no husband who was most likely bedding another whore in his separate chambers right now. As if Aemond was your real husband.
A couple turns of the moons passed in pure bliss, that was until you missed your monthly bleeding twice in a row. You hadn't even noticed it until the Queen herself didn't pay you a visit one morning, informing you of the news that one of her maids had delivered to her. There's been no sign of blood on your sheets for over two months now.
Alicent was overflowing with joy as she thought of her son finally siring a child with his wife. A joyous occasion for her family,one that required a big celebration.
When Aegon learned the news of your pregnancy, he didn't give the reaction a future father was expected to give. He hugged you briefly, for decency in front of his own mother, muttering a quiet "congratulations,my wife" before leaving to do Gods know what.
Aemond, however, was a different story. You've never seen a smile as big on his face ever before when you told him you were with child.
His hands immediately fell on your still flat stomach, where his son or daughter was to grow, swelling your stomach in the process, showing everyone that you were claimed.
"Your prayers were finally answered, my love. This child will be a lucky one to have a mother like yourself. Such a smart, beautiful and captivating mother. And I am a proud man to have such a beautiful woman by my side. Only if I could show the world you were mine." Aemond spoke,his forehead leaning against yours as you felt the warmth his body radiated, something that brought you an odd sense of comfort whenever he was close enough for you go feel it.
"If only..." You said, eyes closing shut at the painful reminder of your husband.
"I can only hope my brother will drive himself to an early grave, I wouldn't be surprised given the amounts of alcohol he consumes and the number of whores he sticks his cock inside. Gods know what type of diseases he had brought upon himself." Your beloved hissed,anger filling his chest at the thought.
"Do not think of such matters right now, dear. This is a joyous occasion,let us savor it for as long as possible. " You said before leaning in to peck his lips softly.
Aemond was absolutely smitten by your different ways of expressing your love and affection towards him. Pecks, light touches,soft smiles, all of these simple things made his chest tighten with a feeling he welcomed every time he was around you. Love.
As the moon came and went and your belly swelled, Aemond seemed to show more and more of his protective side. He followed you around wherever he could, claiming he was just looking after his good sister, since her own husband couldn't find the time to do so. Lord's and Ladies at court praised the younger Prince for his devotion to you and his future niece of nephew. It was rare that women were tended to during their pregnancies, if their husbands didn't care to do so,there was nobody else that would do it. In your case, however, it was different.
This child was going to grow as a future prince, an heir to the throne,but nobody was going to know the truth about its lineage. He or she were going to be their father's child, end of discussion.
Aemond was ready to slay every man or woman who dared disrespect the woman he so dearly loved and who carried his child. Late at night, at the dead of night where no soul was left awake,he would find his way in your chambers where he's whisper sweet words to your swollen stomach and feel the kicks of his child as a response to his voice. Sometimes you were awake, sometimes you weren't,but there was not even one night when Aemond missed to do that. It was his own, unique way of showing love and you loved that for him.
When the last moon before your labors arose, you and a few of your maids and guards made your way to Winterfell,the home you had missed so dearly. From the moment you found out you were with child you knew nothing would stop you from giving birth in the North, you were born there and so was going to be your child.
Aemond followed after you not long after, claiming he had important matters concerning the crown which he had to discuss with your brother, Lord Cregan.
When the pains finally started and the labor progressed,Aemond found himself kneeling beside your bed while you gripped his hand with all the strength you had while the Maester and midwifes encouraged you to push. Nobody questioned the presence of the Prince in the chambers, nobody wanted to know or was going to tell. What mattered in the room were only the mother and the babe, nothing or nobody else.
Hours later, when the sun was starting to rise again, the cries of a new life echoed around the quiet halls of your home. The small Prince announced his arrival on his own,with strong lungs and high pitched cries.
Your and Aemond's son, named Auserys, was a little black haired beauty,just like his mother. He seemed to have taken everything from his mother and nothing from his father. That was until the little thing opened his eyes to take his first blurry look on this words, in that moment beautiful violet eyes fell on the boy's father as the older Targaryen man was drowned by his son's stare.
"My love, he has your eyes." You said, a smile taking over your eyes as you admired your son who laid calmly in your arms. Looking up from his small body, you met the good eye of your beloved, a small tear had escaped his eye and was now rolling down his cheek and jaw.
Without saying a word,Aemond kneeled beside you,just as he did a couple of hours ago, before he spoke.
"I'm going to give my life up for you, my son. For you and for you mother,if needed. I shall love you as the priceless jewel that you are,Auserys. I give an oath today,may the Gods be my witnesses." Aemond spoke,his voice quiet as he tried not to disturb the babe that had finally calmed down after hours of crying loudly.
"And he shall love you as his father, Aemond. This little boy will grow up knowing who his father,his real father, is. He shall know what brave and honorable man his father is and grow up to be as brave and strong as you." You said, pulling one of your hands away from underneath your son's small body, taking a hold of one of Aemond's hands that was cold against your touch.
"I'm going to marry you, Y/N. I'll marry you and claim my son as it should be,and you as my wife. Nothing will stop me from being with my lover and son. " Aemond spoke with such confidence it send shivers down your spine.
He was tired of hiding, tired of seeing the miserable look on your face every time Aegon was near you, he could barely hold his rage whenever that cunt couched your belly, talking about how his heir laid in there. Nothing could stop a man in love from doing anything that would bring him what he desired. The things we do for love.
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junova · 4 years ago
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𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐰𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐤𝐞.
notes: howdy guys, it's been a while. i've been taking a break and finally starting writing again, yay. it's been a rough few months and still treading through it, but i hope you enjoy a piece of my heart with this one.
if it's any consolation, my heart broke while writing this. </3
pairing — boxer!steve rogers x fem!reader
concept — steve has to come with terms of you not wanting him just as much as he wants you.
wc — 6.7k+ [yeah...]
warnings: 18+, themes alluding to sex, emotional cheating, soft!steve, heartbreak, kind of unrequited vibe going on, over all ✨ angst ✨
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Even if it was the thousandth time to watch his body move in the ring, you still were memorized by the way he moved. You were in complete admiration of how his hips flowed so fluidly through his punches. Just like always, he was aware of your presence as you stood next to Sam and Wanda, both of them with proud smiles on their faces as he defeated yet another opponent.
Watching as they raised his arm, declaring him as the champion, something he’d been striving so intensely for, the past few months. Even if his body was bruised and littered with the hits Rumlow had been able to mark his body with and not to mention the busted lip, making him taste the blood with nearly every swallow.
It didn’t matter because he had followed through with what he had set his mind out to do. The looks Rumlow was giving him after all the smack talk he had served him was satisfying enough. Even if he didn’t think you did, he saw you standing there alongside his friends, celebrating the win of his life.
He couldn’t but smile proudly at your presence, even if the disapproval you have against his lifestyle was well known between the two of you and everyone else in your friend group.
Steve knew you weren’t a fan of the injuries you brought home in your shared apartment, the nights you actually stayed there. With Jordan’s absence from New York, you’d been staying there more consistently than ever.
He would never admit it out right, but it made his heart full. With you home, he could protect and he worried wherever you weren’t there. Even if he knew you were fully capable of defending yourself if need be, it would always make him feel better when you were close to him.
Just like him, you could confess it even to yourself, but when you were back in the apartment you shared with Steve, you’d always felt safer.
He went straight to the locker room, to clean himself up as best as he could without making his friends and Tony wait too long. He’d usually go straight to them but the group took notice he held himself back when you were around.
The first match you went to and he came up with bruises running along both rib cages, a bloody nose accompanied by a busted lip, he immediately took notice of the way you cowered away from him. Barely even looking at him as you congratulated him. From then on out, he realized how much it bothered you to see him physically injured.
When you’d come, he’d always make sure to clean himself up before. It really worked out on the days he didn’t want to be around many people. Only the stragglers from the crowd would be left, and his friends who supported him nearly every time.
As soon as he made his way over to the group, he was met with Sam’s warm smile pulling him into a warm hug. You found yourself wincing as soon as Steve did. “Easy there big buy, bruises are still fresh.” Sam let up just a tad, before everyone was congratulating him. You stood back with Tony, watching the proud smile grow on his face as he watched his prodigy surpass his monumental goal.
“You should think about coming to more matches. He fights better when you’re here watching him.” You twisted your neck so you could see his coach more clearly who was standing right beside you. “I’m sure he plays just as well when I’m not here. I still watch them everytime, just from home when it’s too much for me to stomach.”
You looked forward away from Tony, Steve coming into your line of vision as Sharon, his ex who had surprisingly shown up to corral by his side, someone you’d hadn’t seen near him in the past few weeks since she’d been out of the country for work.
“His technique and endurance is the same, but his intensity always rises higher when you’re here. I’m not the only one who notices, maybe the only one bold enough to say it to you.” Tony spoke as watched the man he took in when Steve was just sixteen.
Truly, it made his heart swell with pride to see him reach the level of success he had been dreaming for him since the pair had met. Knowing Steve for the past five years, also made him hyper aware of the girl he never seemed to shut up about, not that you’d ever find out.
No matter how much Tony was dying to let the words slip off his tongue.
“I’m just happy to be here for him.” Keeping your words short as you watched Sharon move closer to him, her hand resting on his chest and he didn’t even move away from it. You tried to ignore the ugly shade of green rising in your chest, but with him it always seemed to show.
Not that you’d had a right to, you weren’t single or emotionally available by any means, but the thought of him being with someone who had hurt him so much made you more protective of him than you had a right to be.
“C’mon little dove, have you thought about why you’d rather stay in the dinged up apartment with Steve than be with your boyfriend of three years across the country?” He pressed harder, making sure you were careful of your response. “My friends are here and so is my family. I can’t just leave everyone I love behind.” Your gaze never left Steve’s as he finally was out of Sharon’s grip.
“Steve’s here, too. You sure it has nothing to do with him?” Part of you couldn’t stand there with Tony and lie to him because you weren’t sure what was the nature of your relationship with the boxer.
Thankfully, you were saved from responding by the devil himself as made his way over to the two of you. Much to your dismay, he had to get in a few more words before Steve was in earshot. “Just think about why Steve lives with you when he’s had more than enough to move out for a while now.”
Before you could even process the words leaving his mouth, your favorite man in the ring immediately has you wrapped up in his arms. Holding you so close and so tightly, not even caring if it put more pressure on his lungs than he wished.
“Congrats on the win, Champion. I’m so proud of you.” The arms you had around him were placed gently, too afraid to put any weight on the new bruises. Not to mention the old ones which were still healing.
Once he pulled away from you, just enough so you could look at him. He hummed at Tony and with one nod of his head he knew when the young boxer wanted to be left alone. More times than not, it is usually with you.
“I thought you weren’t coming tonight. Isn’t Jordan in town?” Not even when it was the biggest moment of his career thus far did he care to indulge in his victories. Always it seemed to be looking after you.
“Stevie, this is your night. We don’t have to talk about me — we’re always talking about me.” For a moment he almost bought your act until he looked into those dazzling eyes of yours, ones he never seemed to grow tired of in the past few years.
“I’m not happy unless you’re happy. So, if you need a night where we just watch romcoms and chow on cookie dough ice cream, you know I’m all yours.” Unknowing to the two of you, everyone of your friends was watching the encounter and still couldn’t believe you still were with your current boyfriend.
Or that Steve was just waiting for you patiently. Something that didn’t come easy for him around women. Before you, he didn’t really do relationships with women that didn’t end with him in their bed at some point. Somehow, much to everyone’s dismay, he managed to keep his interactions platonic with you.
At least in their eyes.
“No, Stevie. I’m fine. He just didn’t follow through this time. It’s not the end of the world, I’ll be fine. Tonight, I just wanna be by your side and celebrate you.” Although, he didn’t really believe you Steve decided he would let it go.
“Regardless of it, thank you for coming tonight. Means the world to me.” It really did. Even more so, when he felt like he was one of the reasons you were still in Brooklyn and not in California living with your boyfriend instead.
“Oh, hush bubba. You’re getting so soft on me and you haven’t even had a proper drink in you yet. Let’s just celebrate with our friends, yeah?” You kissed his cheek sweetly, before you were off to Bucky and Nat’s place to get properly fed and surely get Steve drunk off his ass.
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It really was the elephant in the room you were choosing to ignore. The fluttering feeling of adventurous butterflies traveling to spaces you didn’t know existed. Everytime he pulled you close to his side or kissed your temple.
When Bucky would do something monumentally stupid, he would whisper a line in your ear humorous enough to hear you laugh. Even right now, when you knew he was exhausted, muscles sore and aching — Steve was still tending to whatever you needed.
In this moment, your body nestled between his legs as he draped his arm across your chest, letting him hold you close was exactly what you needed. Even if you tried to remove yourself several times because of the new injuries, he would never let you.
“What’s next, Rogers?” Steve watched as he craned his neck towards Sharon. You’d almost forgotten she was here, she’d been so quiet most of the night.
“A whole lot of rest and then in a few weeks, right back into training.” He spoke with pride because winning the title went hand and hand with defending it. “You should come to the club. Danielle’s been itching to see you, again.”
Steve grimaced, not just as Sharon’s words, but with how stiff your body became. The way you rubbed back and forth with the tip of your fingers against his forearm came to a halt.
You weren’t really sure what to do because now you felt horrible for even feeling like you had a right to be upset in the first place. Because you didn’t. You weren’t single and Steve was. In this space in time, he did nothing wrong.
When you followed Nat back into the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine, away from him, it felt like he had made a mistake.
Just watching as you followed Nat up the pathway, in your pretty green dress, as you messed with the necklace adoring your neck. Something he learned you did when you were anxious.
“Why would you bring that up now? In front of her?” He was slightly pissed off she had driven you away and out of his arms. Steve would have you within his grip constantly if you would let him. Not that you did, but it was still a certain something he found himself wishing for. More than not though, someone else always seemed to hold your attention whenever he wasn’t in the ring.
Jordan. Tony. Sam. Natasha. Bucky. Wanda.
Tonight had seemed it might go in a different direction, until Sharon steered your mind elsewhere. One where you were a girl who missed her boyfriend. Or at least that’s what he thought.
Unknowingly to Steve, Jordan was the last thing on your mind, which allowed the guilt to settle in. Maybe, just this one time it was rightfully placed. The thoughts you were having scared you senseless — making you want to do something you knew you shouldn’t.
You just sat there on the padded bar tool as Nat grabbed a bottle of white with a bottle of red. Like time and time again, Nat read your mind just as she often did. “So, why couldn’t he come this time?” She drilled into you, her iridescent daggers as piercing as ever.
“He said he forgot his mother asked him to help her move out of the house. He said he’d make it up to me some other time.” Just like always.
But you held your tongue before voicing it to anyone other than yourself. It’d been months since you’d seen him in the flesh, and it was the first time he spoke to you in days when he informed you he’d been unable to spend any of his time off with you.
“He’s just never here and he keeps asking for me to move to Los Angeles, but my whole life is here. Before, he never seemed to really pressure me. He was always patient with me to travel at my own pace but I think he ultimately thought I would eventually go there with him.” You breathed out, scared of the truth dripping right out of you.
“I just-, you know what? Nevermind. It’s isn’t important.” She was never one to bite her tongue, but she found herself trying to when your feelings were involved.
“Tell me. What is it?” Your curious, bambi eyes peering into your soul, dying to pull the confession right out of her.
“Do you even miss him when you’re apart for so long? I’m not judging but it just seems like you’re okay. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, but why don’t you ever go to him or Jordan to you?” Natasha spoke softly, afraid she might be poking the bear just a bit.
“Of course I miss him. I would see him if I could. I’m just a little too busy right now with work and my family.” You attacked back, feeling the need to defend yourself.
“Are you really going to make me say it?” With both bottles of wine on the counter, she went to grab three more wine glasses — for Sharon, herself, and you.
“Say what? What the hell are you talking about?” You pushed her as she put out the bottles of wine as she managed to link the three vines of the glasses in her left fingertips. “Forget it. I shouldn’t have said anything.” She was regretting it now, because maybe you weren’t quite ready to hear the words everyone else knew to be true. Anyone who was around the two of you could see it.
Perhaps, Nat never spoke a word of it because at the very least, she thought you wouldn’t be as naive to see his feelings. The ones he seemed to offer you on a silver platter, whether you wanted to reject or accept the offering, giving it to you wholeheartedly.
Following her out the patio door where the two of you stopped, not moving a step further. She didn’t really say anything either. Letting you bask in the glow before the fall.
He was laughing so hard, his hand clutching his chest as him. Golden hair shining bright by the fire pit, almost as
lively as his smile. Even if it looked like his spirit could have been beaten out of him tonight, he’d never show it.
When he had trouble keeping his eyes open, he’d force himself to stay alert because moments he could spend with ones he loved seemed too precious to pass up. Especially over the past few months — he didn’t even have to think twice about it.
Through the schedule Tony had him on, his life was eating, breathing, living boxing. Training every day in the gym, whether it be furthering his techniques in the gym to Tony making him regret any mistake he made in the ring.
Even some days he was just weight training when Tony told him he could rest. He couldn’t though. Not when he could taste the sweetness of his dreams on the tip of his tongues.
Every day, dawn till dusk, training consumed every moment of his time. Steve thought his body was restless before, but now? Nothing came even close to this.
Leading Steve to be blissfully unaware of what was actually going in that fantastically bold head of yours.
“Just spill it, Romanov.” You pressured her, but your eyes were too weak to redirect your directions elsewhere. Only Steve holding your attention at one.
“Remember when Steve left for Spain for three months with Tony?” Your body stilled, having a feeling you knew where this was going. Regretting you told her what had happened with Steve in the first after promising him it would just stay between the two of you.
“It was the year Jordan and I had split for two months.” The memory of what happened always clouding your better judgement. The way his eyes shined still haunted you. “Steve had already been there a month when it happened and the second I told him he insisted on flying me out.”
Looking at him fondly, across the greenery before speaking so softly as if he was right next to you, “I could never say no to him. I still can’t.” Nat tried to ignore it but she could see through the fog of your first love fading even if you were trying your hardest to avoid the inevitable heartache.
The care you held for him was oozing out of you, bursting and breaking at the seams. When you kept thinking of him more than a roommate, more than a friend.
“Dove, you can’t just keep pretending your feelings don’t exist. The more you try to bury the root deep the more it will grow.” You knew she was right, but you really didn’t want to hurt anyone.
You supposed you were already causing pain unintentionally. “His biggest insecurity is him. Jordan thinks I’m still here because of him.” You confessed, the ongoing fight no secret to anyone, really.
“Aren’t you?” Maybe if you had been a better liar, you could’ve convinced her but everyone could read you like the back of your own hand.
You hated the spotlight she was putting on you, but even more so because she was right. Moving forward with Jordan meant leaving someone else behind, something you couldn’t seem to prepare yourself to do.
“I love Jordan. He’s my first love and I thought he would be the greatest one, too.” You really want to stop the love and admiration flowing out of you, but you couldn’t choose who you love and maybe it was time for you to stop fighting it.
“Then, I met Steve. He responded to the ad I put out for the spare room in my apartment and we met for coffee.” If you had listened to your mother, her wishes of you not to be in the company of a man who was a complete stranger, you’d never meet the most important person in your life.
“He looked more like a boy back then. Clean shaven. No beard. Steve was still muscular, but not nearly as toned as he is now. But his eyes? They pulled me right in. Still do, every damn time.” You should have held some sort of shame, but you didn’t.
“You should do something about it, Dove. He isn’t going to be single forever.” Nat questioned as you followed her lead, back to the roaring fire.
“Nat, I love Jordan. I could never do that to him.” You really couldn’t, but you also couldn’t find it in you to move with him either. “I know you love him, but you aren’t in love anymore.” Growing closer and closer, back to the group, you saw him clearly.
“What do you mean?” Trying to ignore the pain in your chest as Natasha spoke. “I think you’re scared of ending it with Jordan. Dove. I’ve known you for a long time now and I’ve never seen you look at anyone the way you do with Steve.”
The words spilling out of her lips left you a little broken — the truth spearing you through. She wasn’t wrong, not one bit. Nat never nearly was, especially when your feelings were involved. Steve had become such an enigma to you in the past year.
The line of platonic friendship and overflowing emotional intimacy was becoming too entangled for you to even comprehend.
“Just think about it. I just want you to be happy.” The rest of the night, it’s all you could think about. A few days passed and it was still in the forefront of your mind.
When Steve was walking home with you this week, you couldn’t stop wondering all the hypotheticals swarming inside your dreams.
He could tell, too.
You’d never been so quiet, not ever. He’d like to hear you, especially when you were drunk. Like you seemed to be now, at least to him but tequila that lit a fire in your chest a few hours ago was beginning to wear off. Just when the feelings you kept trying to avoid would seep there way back in like your furry, fat cat Thor when he wormed his body through the gate into the apartment.
“What’s wrong? You’ve seemed off this week.” You felt his hand kiss yours, but he didn’t bother to find it’s home. He’d been keeping his distance or at least been trying to. You'd been so vulnerable lately and the last thing he wanted to do was exploit that.
Ever since Sharon had made a comment about Danielle, and you escaped with Nat, something changed. You more guarded around him, more than you'd ever been since you met.
Steve knew there was a reason for it, but he didn't want to push you — not when it looked like you would combust into a breakdown at any given moment.
“I’ve just been thinking about where my life is going and where I want it to go.” You confessed, letting your words linger. “Jordan wants me to move with him to California and I’m running out of reasons to say no.” In perfect harmony, your eyes met his at the same time.
They weren’t joyful what his bright blues usually possess, but this time they were indifferent. Not even you could read them.
“Do you want to move there with him?” Steve asked you, his heart on the verge of dropping into his stomach. “If it will make you happy, you should.” Shoving his hands in his pockets, you watched him drift away from you.
“I don’t know. It might.” Both of you coming to a halt, walking up to the apartment the two of you shared.
“He’s insecure about you. It’s why he’s pressuring me.” The two of your bodies so close but so far away as you stood in the doorway. With a confusing gaze and pouty lips, practically guiding you into temptation.
“He used to always tell me you were in love with me. He was fully convinced, still is. I never thought so. You were just my best friend, that was it. I just never really thought about it unless Jordan brought it up.” You would have loved to blame your sudden outburst on the alcohol, but it was something you'd been dying to do.
Before you never had the guts, but you a felt a pull towards Steve lately, like maybe there was something more trying to burst under the seams.
“I thought Tony was bullshitting me, fucking with me, but I didn’t ever give it a thought. Then, Nat brought up Spain.” Nights you told yourself were a mistake, but deep down it was the probably the safest you felt in a long time.
“What are you talking about? What did Tony say?” Fetching for the key, he slid it in before opening the door for you and following you inside. “Steve, why do you still live here?” Blushing cheeks and a string of incoherent words was all you could make out from him.
As he headed for the small couch, trying to make up an excuse good enough. One which you’d actually believe, he hoped.
“You make four times as much as me, if not more. For some reason, you’ve decided to stay in this shithole apartment — it doesn’t make sense.” He wished you would make sense of it, that way he didn’t have to say a word.
“Do you want me to move out?” He questioned, watching your movements. If you wanted him to move out, he wouldn’t hesitate to do so.
It was the last thing you wanted, but the line between your friendship with him was always blurred. Only now, when it was vaguely pointed out by the two people close to the both of you — it became more apparent than ever.
“No, I just, I guess I’m asking why. You know you’re more than welcome to stay here as long as you’d like, but this place is a dump, Steve. Why on earth would you wanna stay here?” When he looked up, where you stood above him having a hard time biting his tongue.
Because you’re here.
It’s what he wanted to say, but he didn’t have the right and he would just be an asshole if he put you in a compromising position. He already felt guilty enough with his feelings in the first place, he didn't need to pile on.
“I guess it’s just easier to stay. It’s so close to the ring and I’m maybe a tad too comfortable.” You sat next to him on the couch. Finding yourself trapped in the green of his eyes. “Don’t you want something better?” Maybe it was him or maybe it was you. Neither of you could tell.
The two of you inched closer until Steve was caressing your thigh, just with the tip of his thumb. “I’m more than happy with where I’m at.”
“Well, I’m asking because I need to go to California. Just for a bit. I need to see Jordan, it’s been awhile since I’ve seen him.” He didn’t stop touching, not even with the mention of his name.
Even if it pierced him every time you talked about him. Or when Jordan came to town, he felt like he didn’t exist to you.
He didn’t blame you, not at all. Jordan was your highschool sweetheart, and you wanted so badly for it to work but something was holding you back. Something you were trying to let go of.
“He loves me so much and wants to start building this whole new life, but how am I supposed to tell him?” Steve said nothing, letting you sink into the ground.
“He’s been nothing, but kind and loving. Always there, always supportive. The best partner I could have asked for.” Steve laced your hand in his like it was the most natural thing in the world, making butterflies erupt at full speed.
You couldn’t really pinpoint a moment when he started, but all you knew is how safe his warm, calloused hands made you feel. Since the moment you met, never failing to comfort you when needed.
“Then what’s the problem, Dove?” Steve questioned you, untangling his body from yours.
If he was going to help you, he needed to think and being so close to you wouldn’t get himself where you needed. Above all, you didn’t make any easier when a small whine left your throat — tugging at his heart strings.
“We never talk about what happened in Barcelona.” You watched his body tighten, muscles in his arm constricting.
It made him feel just as uneasy as it did to you. At least you could find comfort in that.
“Dove, there’s a reason for it. You and I both know it.” Steve was right. His self righteous sense of nature always kicked in when you wanted it the least.
“You don’t think about it? Because I do.” Pushing weight on his heart, you were very aware you held. You weren’t too naive to know just how much he cared for you, but coward enough to try and make him admit it first.
“You were broken up, things are different now. We’re home where you have a boyfriend and I have boxing.”
“Yes, where I have a boyfriend who wants me to abandon everything I hold close to me to join him without even bothering to ask me what I want.” You puffed out, exhaustion coming in overflow. “The past year, he hasn’t once asked me what I want.”
The boy with golden locks found himself wanting nothing more than to hold you in his arms, nurse you back to health with all the love he could offer.
But even he knew he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t keep on spreading himself thin over a woman who was so conflicted, so distraught she was collapsing within herself. If he wasn’t too careful, he might fall right beside you.
“Before we got back together, he asked me.” You confessed, feeling better as soon as the secret flew from your mouth. “He asked you what?” Steve pressed on, a bit terrified of it truly, but even he had to know.
“He asked if anything happened between us the months I was there and I lied. Ever since we met, he’s been insecure. He thinks I’m going to leave you for him and it wasn’t the first time he asked either.” You wish you hadn’t dealt with the two of them so poorly, but with the expression on Steve’s face you knew you had.
“He knows I lied and it hurts even more he stayed with me anyways.” Steve didn’t move, his fear keeping him still.
“I don’t know how to be his after you, but I don’t know how to let go of my high school sweetheart either.” You felt trapped, in between an impossible decision. An old love, who loves you past your mistakes, past the hurt and a soulful heart admiring you from where you’re at and nothing less.
“Those nights don’t have to mean anything if you don’t want them to.” He spoke softly, his beautiful orbs catching yours in the moonlight peeking through the window.
“They mean too much to me, that’s the problem.” If he didn’t move as you inched closer to his body, planting yourself in front of him, you could tell he was straining himself.
“Do you remember the first time?” He looked confused, wondering if you truly were bold enough to speak of something you shouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole. Your hand found his chest, feeling the pulse of his rapid heart beat. “I was so shy and timid the first time with you, but you guided me so well.” Too fond of the memory of him worshipping every part of your body.
The very thing he wanted to do since the moment he met you, but Steve wanted more than that. Now more than ever.
“You don’t have to remind me, Dove. I remember.” He swallowed deeply, trying to erase the permanent memory of your body writhing beneath him, moaning out his name, begging him for more.
He still found himself thinking about it. Those two months with you had just amplified what he felt even more because now he knew what it was like for you to wake up in his arms, bare skin against his own.
The way you curled into his chest, your arms wrapped around his waist for optimal comfort.
Or when he’d wake up before you, which was most days, he’d find you murmuring his name in your sleep while soft fingertips caressed your skin lulling you into a more peaceful slumber.
“I never forget, Dove. That’s the problem.” With one finger, he pushed back the hair falling in your face tucking it behind your ear. “I tried to move past it, I went on a couple dates with this woman, Danielle.” You already felt your heart clench at the thought of him with someone else.
“She’s kind, smart, and beautiful and she seems to like me. Sharon keeps bugging me to take her out again since she set the two of us up.” Steve was trying to talk calmly, but he couldn’t ground himself. Especially when you only seemed to pull back further from him.
It was weird that Sharon set the pair up, considering she dated Steve not too long ago but it seemed she could put her feelings inside if it was for your despair.
In her daunting eyes, you were the reason her and the promising boxer broke up in the first place. As cliche as it was, she offered Steve an ultimatum after six months of dating — her or you.
Steve picked you.
It wasn’t like he loved her at that point. He did care for her, but you just meant too much to him. When kind, iridescent eyes met his own for the first time Steve never was able to stop thinking about them. Or you for that matter.
Carefully calculated as Steve could be, he managed to trap you between the closed door of his bedroom and his toned body.
“But I want to hear you say something before I do.” His gaze never faltered for a moment as he played with the hem of the short slip dress adoring your taut figure.
Half of your mind was begging you to retreat into your room and forget the last time you’d been pressed up against him like this. The other half wanted to see what he would do once he knew you were in the palm of his hand once again.
You had a feeling he already did.
His beard was grown out and his silky, golden hair that almost reached his shoulders make him look even more deliciously sinful.
“What’s that?” You tried not to gulp loudly, but if you even made the slightest movement, he would notice. “Tell me you’re in love with him.” His soft thumb caressing your side, not sure if he was trying to soothe himself or you.
“Just tell me five years down the line, you see him right there with you. Just say it, so I can move on.” He couldn’t even look at you, he couldn’t take the inevitable. “Tell me we’re just friends and Jordan’s your future.” You met his eyes, the prettiest blues you’ll ever see.
Commanding your attention without even trying — every damn time. You weren’t sure what you wanted, but you knew seeing him hurt was chipping a piece of you away. Watching his arched eyebrows furrowed in distress, fine lines being made in the middle for proof.
Soft fingertips met his skin, smoothing out his furrowed brows, closing his eyes trying to remember what you smelled like. Just like Sharon reached her breaking point, he had too. Steve couldn’t watch you any longer without being the one you wanted without a doubt.
“Stevie.” You softly whisper, before pulling him into your arms.
Even if he was double your size, he let you hold him as best as you could. Comfort him even if you were the reason he’s breaking.
The strong, persistent boxer had been transported back to the sick and thin kid he once was before all the guns and glory came. Steve was right back to where he got rejected by anyone and everyone. A time and many places where no one gave a damn about Steve Rogers, not anyone he wished for.
You watched him untangle himself from you, but you weren’t sure just how much time had passed. A few minutes? Thirty? An hour?
Only time could tell and she wasn’t really on your side at the moment.
“I’ve only found love once. Back in high school, there was this girl, Hazel. She was kind, sweet, eyes that shined like fresh honey. The first person to ever show any interest in me and I was in love with the fact that someone actually wanted me.” Steve felt his heart clench at the memory he wished to forget.
“I truly believed I loved her with every fiber in me and I thought she cared about me too, until I realized she was just using me to get to Bucky.” You watched the distress wash over him again and you wanted nothing more than to make him feel appreciated and loved. Not rejected and forgotten.
“It broke my heart for months because I truly believed I was in love with this girl who I hardly knew.” He sighed deeply, like he somehow already was aware of the soft whisper of goodbye.
“It always kind of stayed with me, not ever feeling like I was good enough for anyone until Tony found me. Graduated high school and I started training dawn till dusk until I couldn’t anymore just to start all over and do it the next day.” He was looking everywhere but you. Even if there was not a thing in this damn hallway, but two pressured hearts.
“Not too long after, I met you and I remember thinking this is the most extraordinary woman I’ve ever met in my life.” Now, feeling like an absolute dick because you truly didn't deserve for this wonderful man to be in your life.
“You were so kind to me and you had no reason to be, but I learned it’s just who you are. This amazingly bright full beam, shining their light on everyone else — not paying attention to how much they give even if it’s everything they have.” Your skin felt hot beyond comparison, the passion in the words he spoke deeper than the memory of his skin against your own.
“I always tried to ignore it, how stupidly kind and thoughtful you are. How much you take care of me when you don’t have to. You cleaned my wounds for months without even asking me what I was doing.”
“I already knew you had a boyfriend, one you love very much, but I couldn’t stop myself from being around you. Now, I have to leave. I need to move on for me because I know how this ends for me — how it always has.” He sighed before walking away, leaving you hanging in every conceivable way. You didn’t notice the suitcase by the door before. Until he was walking out of the apartment with his possessions in hand — out of sight and out of mind.
“Wait!” He was already making it to his car, the old beat up pickup truck he couldn’t seem to get rid of when you reached him. “I just need time, Steve.” You’d been sprinting after him, until you caught up to him, making his attention fully focused on you.
“Jordan’s the only boyfriend I’ve ever had — I don’t know how to let him go.” You were crying because maybe, deep down you were hoping you could have your cake and eat it too.
“And you’re the only person I’ve ever been in love with, Dove. I can’t keep sticking around hoping you’ll wake up one day and feel the same.” He emptied his belongings in his truck before returning his attention towards you.
“Steve, don’t do this. Please. Don’t leave me.” You’d become so dependent on him, more than you realized. “You’re the only person who truly loves me and not for who they want me to be.” Trying to plead with him, but it felt like you were only pushing him even further away.
“Then tell me I’m the only one you want.” But all he was left with silence because you couldn’t and he already knew what you didn’t. He knew you hated change more than anything, that you’d rather stay in what was comfortable even if you were presented with a different option.
Someone you wanted more.
With tears in your eyes, you looked up at him like he was crushing you and there was nothing to stop the numbing feeling. He sympathized, maybe more than he liked to admit, it’s what he chose to live with over the past year. It started the moment he met you if he was truly being honest.
He knew there was nothing left for him, no matter how much his heart clenched at the sound of your cries. He couldn’t be the one who was always taking care of you, loving you, when you didn’t feel what he felt. It was splitting him open, and you just kept taking pieces of him away — parts of him you would hold forever.
He let you cling onto him one more time, begging for him not to leave you. He let you believe he wouldn’t as he calmed you back in a false sense of security. Until you were asleep in his soft sheets later that night, leaving you lonely in the home you’d been sharing.
With only half of his belongings with him, he pulled up to the project he had just completed. Even now, with not a single hope you would ever see it after he just abandoned you, there was still a light hope you’d be able to at least see it one day. If Steve was ever strong enough to face his heartbreak again.
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tagging: @tonystankschild | @andromedasstarship | @tinylumpiaa | @brattycherubwrites | @bval-1 | @kayteewritessteve |
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chrisevansgoodgirl · 4 years ago
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i've heard allegations 'bout your reputation, i'll show you my shadows if you show yours
summary: requested (like a year ago, sorry!)  Reader and Andy getting in a legitimate fight or maybe flirting in front of him with one of his colleagues to get under his skin because he hasn’t touched her in weeks from being so busy jealous Andy would be so dominant I’m weak i took some liberties and set it at the christmas eve party at andy’s office.
warnings: andrew barber being r o u g h  😩 😩 😩 and jealous 😩  and mean bc i just so deeply want this man to yell at me and pull my hair bc he’s an angry daddy, however, he is not called daddy in this story bc i don’t do it unless you guys ask me to. so smut, and he’s in charge and i’m dead about it. more videos being made bc apparently that’s on my mind.
word count: around 7,500
pairing: andy barber x reader
a/n: i hate that it took me so long to post this but here i am, almost a month late with a christmas eve party story. i have very little shame tbh.
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You were not unreasonable, no matter what Andy claimed. You could always admit what was your fault—which was about 80% of all disagreements—but Andy had his faults, too. Tonight? Well, you weren’t innocent…but you were not the only one to blame.
This was the third Christmas party he had taken you to. The first year had not completely been his doing. Lynn had been bothering him about it and he would have gotten away with pretending it just wasn’t possible had Lynn not run into you at the coffee shop near Andy’s house.
You had been accustomed to Andy by then. He didn’t put distance between you two because he wanted to, he just simply wasn’t the best at getting close. You practically forced him into sometimes, and it had never gone wrong, so he trusted you. A lot.
You weren’t sure you were going to be able to say that much longer. You had your moments, those situations where you pushed him just a little too far. Not so far that he was angry about it, but far enough that you ended up with a sore ass and maybe a few finger-shaped bruises on your skin.
As if that was an incentive to stop?
Lately, things had been…off. Andy was working on a big case, one that he had just finished the day before. You expected that he was going to come home and make up for not having touched you in 17 days. Yet, that didn’t happen.
You weren’t trying to complain too much. The “honeymoon phase” was something that could not be applied to your relationship because you were as happy as any other day, you loved him more and more as time went on, and you guys always had sex. Always.
But there were the cases that sometimes threw a slight pause in that. That was fine, you understood and it wasn’t like you were with Andy for sex. You loved that man so fucking much, you could deal with some neglect for a little bit. Emphasis on a little bit.
17 days with no immediate plans to remedy it was crossing a line. So, on the 18th night, the night of his office Christmas party, after he merely kissed your head, told you that you looked beautiful, and didn’t fuck you in your tiny, sparkly dress, you also wanted to cross a line. A specific line because it was hard to get a reaction out of him any other way.
Andrew Barber was a jealous man. It was something you never played with because he was jealous. He wasn’t some immature idiot who was going to cause a scene, but he would interrogate you about people he felt were “suspicious”.
On your way to the party, he had wanted to catch up. He felt like this was the first time he was able to breathe since he was put on the case, and he had noticed some distance between you two. You told him about the very basic parts of your day—work, friends, family.
When he placed his hand on your thigh, you had to wonder if this was a game. Why hadn’t he fucked you? Was he trying to make you beg? That was something Andy thoroughly enjoyed, and you trusted him so much that you rarely ever knew when he was doing it. If you stopped to think about it, you would probably find a few times he’d managed to get away with it.
He let you hold his hand and to avoid having to pull away from you, he told you when to move the gear shift. It was cute, too cute for how long you two had been together, but Andy seemed willing to indulge you. He always did when he could.
But as soon as he got to the party, there was more work talk and he had basically pawned you off on Lynn. She was thrilled, of course, she rarely had time for friendships, but she valued Andy, and because of that, she loved you almost as much as he did.
It had been two hours by the time you were completely fed up. Lynn had decided she was about to head out, so she was making her rounds, and that meant that you were stuck with the other partners. Men, women, they were all talking about how great their lawyers had been lately.
Yet, reminder, you hadn’t been fucked in nearly 18 days. You weren’t going to sit around and listen to that for the whole night, you innocently decided to wander a bit. Andy was talking about his case and seemed almost oblivious to your presence. Why did he even bring you? He was the one that reminded you about it, you probably wouldn’t have realized it had gone by until well into next year since work was so hectic.
Regardless, without an answer, you were left to entertain yourself. What else were you supposed to do? Just sit around all night and not speak to anyone? Andy was a complicated man and he had only a handful of people at the job that he liked, but fewer people that he disliked. Most people, he felt indifferent about, and those were the pawns for your current game.
You flit all around the party, laughing, talking to everyone, and though you saw him seeking out your whereabouts every now and then, there was no reaction at all. He didn’t care that some of these sleazy men were staring at your cleavage or your legs—two things he should have done earlier but did not.
By the time you’d nearly spoken to everyone, you felt…possessed, there was no better way to describe it. You were mad and confused and tired, and till the day you died, you would swear on everything you held sacred, the following was not part of your plan. You simply had no other choice than to go along with it when it practically fell in your lap.
Andy hadn’t noticed your best attempts but as soon as Neal was standing in front of you, he was watching. You had not and would not have gone to Neal, it was the other way around. He was possibly picking up on all your sadness and desperation, he was probably able to spot attention-seeking from a mile away since he pulled those kinds of stunts regularly.
Andy was finally paying attention to you and that was why you didn’t walk away. Your boyfriend could deny it all he wanted, but you saw something in his eyes. There was that anger, of course, but there was also that dark gleam. The one that he had when he liked to lay you out under him and remind you who you belong to.
That was all you wanted, that was the only reasoning behind your actions. You didn’t think you’d done anything wrong, not until you laughed at something Neal said and he laughed back, and then he touched your shoulder.
And that was when you knew things had gone too far. You crossed a line, and you should have known better than even trying to use Neal. Because he envied Andy to no end, understandably. Why wouldn’t he try to flirt with you? No one got Andy as angry as Neal, and you should have just put your ego aside and spoken to your boyfriend.
But that window had closed and your time for being a mature, communicating adult was over. You quickly broke away from Neal after that and Andy took only seconds before he was dragging your ass out of that party and to the car.
You weren’t sure what to do. Pretend you didn’t know what the big deal was? Maybe just start blurting out apologies. He opened the car door for you, ushered you in, and then got into the driver’s seat in complete silence.
Andy had been mad at you before, but he had never been so angry he wouldn’t look at you or speak to you. He was gripping the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles were white. His jaw set, brow furrowed, shoulders tense—he stayed that way the entire drive.
Andy wasn’t like this, he usually always had his temper in control. You were worried because you were one of the few people Andy sincerely trusted. It would devastate you if this gave him pause.
When he stopped the car, it became uncomfortably silent. It had taken you almost a minute to decide where you wanted to take this. “Andy, I’m—”
“Don’t apologize.”
“But I am s—”
“Get upstairs, take your dress off, and wait for me on the bed.”
Shit. You fumbled with the handle for a moment, scurrying inside and up the stairs. This was everything that you had wanted, wasn’t it? Then why the fuck were you nervous? Why were you shaking? Why did the idea of a black hole appearing and swallowing you sound so appealing?
You took off your dress and hung it back in your closet. You’d only been in it for a few hours, that didn’t warrant an actual wash. Shakily, you made your way back to the bed and sat there. What about your bra and panties? He hadn’t said. Your shoes? Fuck, what were you supposed to do?
Andy walked in and flipped on the light.
Idiot, why hadn’t you done that?
He made his way to the dresser off to the side of the bedroom, he removed his jacket first, then his cuff links and his tie. He started rolling up his sleeves and you had to look away.
You turned down to your lap. “You didn’t tell me if you wanted me to keep anything else on.”
“I also didn’t tell you that you could speak,” he asserted.
Your stomach dropped, the mere thought of not following his directions was unsettling. When Andy got like this, you wanted to do what he told you to. You wanted him to think you were his good girl. Any time you failed at absolute perfection, you didn’t take it well.
You didn’t know if you should apologize or remain silent. You were wringing your hands, something you became aware of only when he made his way in front of you and placed his hands over yours. You startled slightly, looking up at him.
He grabbed your chin with his thumb and forefinger, keeping your head tilted back. “Are you nervous?”
“I don’t know,” you muttered. You didn’t want him to feel bad because you were feeling some type of way. You also didn’t want to think this had anything to do with him. He’d never given you reason to be nervous.
“Are you scared?”
“Kind of.”
“Why?”
“I don’t want to disappoint you.”
He leaned down, face directly in front of yours. “Before we start, I need you to understand that you’ve never disappointed me. Okay?”
You nodded. “Okay.” That didn’t really help as much as he probably thought it would. Even if you hadn’t disappointed him, there was always the chance that you would. And you weren’t sure he was being completely honest anyway. Neal? What the fuck was wrong with you?
“You don’t need to be nervous or scared, just be completely honest with me.”
“Of course.” You would never lie to him.
“Who do you belong to?”
Your answer was immediate, you didn’t even need to think about it. Recalling life before you met Andy was a bit blurry. Who had you been? Where? What had you wanted? “You.”
“So,” he ran his thumb over your bottom lip, “this mouth…”
“Is yours,” you confirmed.
He hummed, fingers trailing from your face all the way down, between your breasts, over your stomach, stopping at the band of your panties. He paused, noting the shakiness in your breath, the goosebumps on your skin, your hands that were gripping the sheets.
Abruptly, his hand dropped to where you had been expecting it to. Your breath hitched and your hips jumped off the bed, desperate for his touch.
He made a small noise of disapproval and you hurriedly settled back down on the bed. “This pussy? Is that mine, too?”
You nodded. “Yes.”
He pulled your panties off to the side and his fingers ran up your wet skin at an agonizing pace. He brought them up to his lips and his tongue slipped out to taste you. He smiled because you had managed to stay almost completely still, apart from a bit of squirming. “You’re such a good girl, baby. You know that’s one of my favorite things about you, how good you are for me.”
That gave you these awful butterflies and you felt hot everywhere. That was all you ever needed to hear. His hand returned to your center and his first finger slid into you. You looked down to see but he grabbed your jaw again and turned you back up.
“Keep watching me, baby.”
He liked to test you, you knew that. He would give you an order and try to make you disobey him. This time, when his hand fell away from your face, you forced yourself to keep your head tilted. You ignored that burning part of you that wanted to see his fingers pushing in and pulling out, covered in what was dripping from your pussy.
You focused on just feeling. One thick finger was slowly working you open for him, he always stretched you out as much as he could meaning you had to be prepared for some teasing. He prioritized this because he was big and he knew it—and you had been smitten enough before he fucked you, but after, there wasn’t a second of the day your body didn’t crave Andy’s.
Despite how rough Andy could be with you, and how generally tough he was, he liked to baby you. Sometimes, he liked treating you as delicately as one would a bouquet of flowers. He could see a lot of comparisons if he really thought about it. You were beautiful, soft, and smelled so sweet. And if he didn’t pay attention to you, well, he’d been reminded of those consequences at the party.
You kept your eyes on his the entire time. You didn’t falter when he added his second finger, nor when he curled his fingers against that spot inside you, nor when his thumb pressed down firmly on your clit.
He pressed one hand down on your shoulder, a cue to lie back. After you had obliged, he pulled his fingers out of you and told you to open your mouth. You instantly did so, closing around his fingers as soon as they were in your reach.
He pressed his fingers down and kept going until your body jerked and the noise of you gagging echoed in the room. “I wanna see those beautiful lips wrapped around my cock, baby girl.”
You eagerly sat up, still sucking on his fingers as you pulled his belt apart, yanked the button of his pants open, and tore down the zipper. Glancing up at him to look for any signs that you didn’t have his permission to proceed, you pushed his pants and boxers down cautiously until his cock was out.
He pulled his fingers from your mouth and nodded. “Go ahead, baby.”
You moved back on the bed and situated yourself onto your stomach, propping up on your elbows. One hand wrapped around his hard length and you let the tip of your tongue come out to catch the precum dripping from his tip.
He released a shaky breath, hands at his sides because he wanted you running the show. For a while, a least. He didn’t want to guide you, he wanted to see how exactly you were going to make up for your slight misstep at the party.
You ran your tongue up his shaft lightly, feigning that whole soft act that you knew he loved. It wasn’t so much an act, but you had been bent over his desk, hair pulled, ass spanked, both holes thoroughly used. But you liked soft, too. You liked slow and gentle mornings, whispered words, careful touching. You liked whatever he wanted to give you.
You closed your lips around just the head of his cock and sucked. Unlike all other men you had been with, Andy was as patient as a saint. He loved when you teased him. Once, he had you edge him with your mouth for nearly an hour and thinking about how he fucked you after still made your toes curl.
His eyes closed and he sighed. “Fuck, baby.” His hand lightly settled on the back of your head. “So good, I could fuck your mouth for the rest of my life.” He didn’t push you down, he just ran his hand through your hair over and over because he knew how much you liked him to play with your hair.
But then his hold tightened and he pulled you off, much to your dismay. He noted your pout and pleading eyes but was kind enough not to taunt you about them. “Get on your back, sweetheart.”
You knew what he wanted as soon as he stepped away. You quickly climbed up toward the edge of the bed and rolled over, bending your neck over the mattress. You automatically opened your mouth for him, but he placed his hands on your shoulders first.
“Relax.” He leaned over and ran his hands along your arms, setting them on the mattress. He pressed your thighs down, waiting until you had lost all the tension in your body. He curled his hand around his length and stroked several times with a loose hand and a slow pace.
You watched in utter fascination. It never failed to get you wet when Andy showed so much control, over himself, over you. He was in charge of every little thing and you could tell that he got off on that. Every time he reached the head of his cock, he would press down so slightly, so close to your lips but just not enough.
“Andy,” you whispered. “Please.”
He smirked again. “Open your mouth for me.” And as soon as you did, he was slowly sliding in. He was slow at first, keeping his hips still as he slipped the straps of your bralette past your shoulders. He rolled the remaining material down until your breasts were exposed and squeezed them in his hands.
You pressed your thighs together, arching up into his hands more. You tried to relax your throat for him, knowing he was only stopping to give you a moment to prepare.
He pinched your nipples painfully and didn’t stop until you whined. He loved feeling you make that sound when his cock was down your throat, and the deep breaths as the pain faded away. Again, he tortured your nipples between his thumb and forefinger, yanked a little, until you were squirming all around the bed, making these noises around him that he rarely ever heard, your eyes filled with tears.
He leaned over quickly, releasing your breasts so he could give them both a brief kiss. You closed your eyes, humming in satisfaction. He took his time sinking his teeth into your sore, erect nipples and you squealed both times, back arching again. His tongue rolled over your stinging skin and you tilted your head eagerly, attempting to take more of him.
Sometimes, it was enough to get him naturally high, how much power he had over you, your body. He could hurt you and you would thank him; he could turn around and give you just a second of gentleness and you looked at him like you’d never loved anyone as much as you loved him. You claimed that, quite often. Andy wasn’t sure if he believed that, not because he didn’t trust you but because he wasn’t wired to think of himself as special in any way. Why you treated him like he was, was confusing to him at times.
But you were special, so fucking special. You were smart and funny, and so kind to every single person you encountered. It was a nice change from the environment he regularly found himself in. That was what you were supposed to be—a breath of fresh air from his hard life. You were not supposed to become his only source of oxygen, yet there he was. It didn’t seem he was reliant on you because Andy wasn’t comfortable expressing reliance on anyone, but he knew he was.
He stood and watched your body move with those deep, sharp breaths you were taking. Abruptly, his hand whipped across one breast, then the other. You cried out, a nice vibration around him, and now you were quivering. It was so easy for him to play your body like this because you were just needy enough that anything would have given you pleasure. Another thing he knew, another thing that made him so damn cocky.
“Open your legs,” he told you and you parted your thighs. Again, he pulled aside your lace panties and pushed two of his fingers inside you. Your cunt was dripping, your arousal gushing out as his fingers thrust in, curled, searched for that spot that made your eyes roll back. The noise of it made his cock twitch.
Your pussy was throbbing, yearning for the release that only this man could give you. You didn’t care how he did it, you just needed Andy. Hands, mouth, cock, you would take anything he wanted you to have.
“Listen to that greedy pussy,” he directed, voice low and quiet. “So desperate to be filled and fucked. But by who, baby?”
Your stomach twisted at not being able to answer him. That was why he asked when you had your mouth full of him, because if you could speak, you would blurt out reassurances that it was only him.
“Me?” he pressed.
You spoke, despite knowing it was going to sound like nonsense.
“And no one else?”
You were quick with your denial. And maybe, by now, since his cock was always in your mouth, he was a professional at understanding what you were saying. Or possibly, it was just the look in your eyes.
“You sure, baby?”
Once more, your voice came out muffled but hurried, almost panicked. He had to know that you didn’t even think about anyone else. He had to know that you thought he was the most beautiful man in the world.
He dragged his free hand up your body and it settled over your neck. Finally, he pulled out from your mouth only to thrust back in harshly. You choked, your throat contracting around him while he massaged his thumb and finger over your pulse points. He let you breathe through it before he started rocking his hips ever so slightly. You could feel him moving along your tongue and your cheeks, but they were small motions.
You always loved this position; it was easier to take all of him. It was easier to breathe on your back with your chest open, and, unlike being on your knees, it left you open for him.
He leaned forward slightly, pressing one hand off to the side of the bed while the other reached between your legs. His fingers danced along your skin without any real intent, but occasionally, he would touch your clit.
You were reaching for any part of him you could touch. Your hands mindlessly grasped at his back and kept slipping off because of his shirt. You couldn’t ask but you wanted it off. He felt your hands working open his buttons and decided to let you have something. He was going to take and take tonight, he could give you a little.
He stood up and loosened his tie enough to pull it off, then shrugged his shirt off. Once again, his palm settled to your neck. “You should see yourself right now. Shaking, wet, such a good girl.”
You reached up, gripping one hand in his pants, the other around the buckle of his belt and you pulled him in more until your throat was struggling.
“Easy, baby.” He took your hands off him, keeping a hold of one and placing the next back down on the bed. He pulled out carefully, dragging his hand up, and inch by inch, pushed back in. “You should see how deep I’m getting. I can see it right here.” The palm of his hand hovered over your skin, just enough that you could feel him, and he followed his cock again, letting you know how much of him you were taking.
It was a lot of him, not enough. And he was deep, but you needed more. You whined, a plea for him to move this along. He couldn’t want to drag this out, not after almost 18 days.
Again, he leaned over until he could touch you. His hips moved steadily, a controlled move that matched how strategically he was working your cunt, everywhere but the most sensitive part of you.
You hated that you couldn’t beg, but it wasn’t as if he didn’t know. It wasn’t as if you weren’t shaking or if your cunt wasn’t clenching desperately, you knew if he couldn’t feel it, he could at least see it. This went on for several moments, he was proud of how well you were taking him, and wanted to give you some type of award.
You were more than just caught off guard when you felt his lips against one of your thighs. Fuck. He couldn’t, you wouldn’t last long. But he went on, scattering kisses over your thighs, fucking your mouth just a fraction harder as he grew closer to your pussy.
As he licked down from your clit to your entrance, your eyes rolled back. Your hips jumped off the bed and one of his hands held you down in response. You were trembling, whining utter nonsense.
Several times, his tongue ran through you and you’d been so worked up, so wet and frustrated since he’d pulled you out of the party, since he hadn’t fucked you in a while, and this was just happening too fast. You wanted to focus on him, you wanted to apologize in the best way you knew how.
You tried to push him back with your hands on his thighs, but you were nowhere near strong enough.
He turned his head to kiss your thigh again. His hips stilled, most of his cock out of your mouth just in case. “Do you need a moment, baby?”
You debated. If you actually made him stop, made him pull out even if just for a second solely so you could ask him not to make you come...he would be outraged. He might even turn you over and spank you. But he also might not let you come at all. You would die, you knew you would.
You let your hands fall away.
“You okay?”
You hummed slowly, comfortably.
Still, one hand settled on your hip bone to keep you from moving, the other you felt on the back of your thigh close to your ass. He kissed your pussy slowly, sucking at your skin just a little, but not your clit, not yet.
He was careful as he began fucking your mouth again, worried he had pushed you too far. He waited until he was sure you were okay before he sucked your clit between his lips and slipped two fingers into you.
You whined around him as your body shuddered.
He kissed you again, several times to get you to calm down. “It’s okay, baby girl. Be a good girl for me.”
So, you understood, he realized that you wanted to object to this, but Andy was the greediest man you had ever had in bed. You weren’t surprised that he just didn’t care. You found it hard to mind as he began fucking his fingers in and out of you, sloppy, wet noises echoing around the room.
He was sucking again and you were desperately clutching at any part of him you could, his sides, his legs. You weren’t pushing him away now, you were pulling him in.
You were so close, your body arching up as much as it could. You felt tension building in every part of your body. Your own hands came up to your breasts mostly because you knew he would feel your hands moving underneath him.
“Fuck,” he cursed. He left your cunt neglected of his mouth for several moments, only using his fingers, as his cock drove down your throat hard.
You were choking loudly, your body again moving wildly as you gagged. It couldn’t have been more than a few times but they were determined thrusts, you were sure he was going to come in your mouth.
Instead, he pulled out completely and you whined shortly. You didn’t want him to go, but you couldn’t say that. All you could do was try to catch your breath. He didn’t even give you a moment to protest before his face was buried in your cunt.
In seconds, you were a mewling, moaning mess for him. Your body was so tight, so full of unbearable tension. You were shaking, sweating, your pussy was loud and soaking wet and you knew you were dripping everywhere, on him, on the bed.
He didn’t tease, he wanted to let you come because he wanted you coming all night. His favorite form of punishment was too much of a good thing, not withholding how much he enjoyed touching you.
You finished with a scream loud enough that the neighbors probably heard. Again.
Andy touched you through it until you stopped moving, save for the shaking aftershocks when he got a tad too close to your clit. When you were loose and sated on the bed, he started to sit you up.
You quickly turned to him, grasping his face. “I love you, only you.”
“I know, sweetheart.”
“I would never look at anyone else.”
“I believe you.” Even if he didn’t, this was not the place to voice that. This...state he got you in when he was this dominant, this demanding, was not completely unlike you. It was just a very obedient, sensitive version of you that he knew he had to be careful with. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt your feelings.
He touched your face and that was when you realized you were crying, he was wiping away your tears. It was either from your finish or from choking on him, you weren’t completely sure. “You’re okay?”
You nodded quickly. “I’m okay.”
He kissed your forehead and you felt hot. As if what you two were just doing wasn’t filthy, this was what made your heart beat faster and gave you those butterflies in your stomach.
He pulled back and kept hold of your face. “What does my baby girl want?”
“I want to feel you inside me.”
As his lips met yours, he began removing all the remaining clothing on either of your bodies. He moved you up the bed until he could lay your head on a pillow and then positioned himself over you.
“I love you.”
“I love you, too,” he promised. “Keep saying it.”
As he carefully pushed into you, you continued to tell him you love him. You stared at him the whole time, willing your body to relax for him. He didn’t like it when you got so worked up, especially over the games he played in the bedroom. The thing with Neal was bad but it was over and you knew he wasn’t mad at you. He wouldn’t fuck you like this if he was.
You clutched onto his shoulders, trying to hold him as close to you as you possibly could. He was the one that grabbed your legs and cued you to wrap them around his body. His cock sliding into your pussy was a feeling you couldn’t understand why he’d left you deprived of.
Once his hips were settled against your thighs and he was completely buried inside you, you reached up to his face. You loved his cheekbones, you could trace them with your touch for days if he let you. And his beard, you loved feeling his beard under your fingertips.
He let you do this, explore him as if you could possibly forget anything after all the other times you did it. You remembered the first time he fucked you, you couldn’t stop staring, you couldn’t stop touching—he was so painfully beautiful. He was so patient with you, always had been, and now, despite how badly you felt his need to move, to fuck you, he was going to wait for you to be ready.
“You did this on purpose,” you muttered.
“Did what?”
“You didn’t fuck me. For 17 days. You…wanted me to make a scene—”
“That’s a pretty serious accusation.”
“I could take it to court and win,” you countered.
He smirked. “Could you? What’s my motive?”
“You like being possessive. You like dragging me out of places, you like bringing me home, you like reminding me who I belong to.”
“And were you reminded?”
“No one really belongs to anyone or anything at the end of the day—”
“No,” he interjected, tone sharp. You always liked that tone. “You belong to me.”
“Maybe…”
“You are mine,” he repeated. “And you’re going to say it or we’re going to have a long night.”
“I will say it if you admit this was your plan all along.”
“You think I wanted you to flirt with Neal?”
Your stomach flipped. “I wasn’t—”
He nodded, placing a hand on your shoulder. “I know, I didn’t mean to word it like that. I know you weren’t—”
You felt slightly like you were about to panic. Flirting with Neal? No. “Never, I would never—”
He shushed you. “I know, baby. I know you wouldn’t because you are a good girl. I promise I know that.”
You settled somewhat but that lingering feeling in the pit of your stomach was hard to ignore. Flirting with Neal? You couldn’t bear him thinking you would ever do that to him. Flirting in general with people Andy felt indifferent to was off the table unless you wanted to placate his desires. Certainly, he had to know that.
“I wanted to hear you beg,” he insisted. “That was what I wanted. I wanted honest begging because you are so fucking beautiful begging for my cock.”
You huffed. “Well, you should have asked.”
“I didn’t want to have to ask.”
“You could have given me a hint. I was going around your party trying to get your attention—”
“You had it, you always do. Now, tell me who you belong to.”
“I think we all belong to the stars.”
“No,” he sighed.
“Or the moon, people who experience menstruation especially. The moon controls us, it’s been studied by scientists. There are articles.”
“Scientific articles do not support that,” he asserted and you couldn’t help but laugh. Andy was exact. He didn’t believe in anything he couldn’t see or that couldn’t be proven. Even now, inside you, he couldn’t turn that part of his brain off.
“Baby,” he sighed as his hand came up to curl around your neck. It just rested there, a heavy reminder of all the times in the past he had held you like that, or those other times when he applied just the right amount of pressure. “I want to fuck you, I want to make you cry, I want you to be shaking after I’m done with you, I want to fill you up with my cum. Don’t you want that?”
You nodded, once again turned on beyond comprehension.
“Then be good and say what I want you to say. Don’t make me make you say it.”
“What if I want you to make me?”
“You don’t.”
Andy’s punishments were always so elaborate and such a blur. He knew how to reduce you to nothing but need, and you needed him so badly sometimes. He loved seeing you like that, but he didn’t always like taking you there. He knew how careful he needed to be during and after, so he reserved it for major misbehavior.
You brought one hand up and set it on his forearm. You could feel his skin and his muscles. “I belong to you.”
Just barely, as he stared at your face, his hold tightened. Your breath stuttered but you made sure not to get too worked up too soon. You didn’t want him to have to stop before he finished inside you.
“That can never happen again, baby.”
“I know. It never will. I’m so—”
He tightened his hand again. “Don’t say sorry.”
You didn’t understand why he wouldn’t let you say the one word you so badly needed to say.
“I don’t blame you, sweetheart, I’m just saying…it can’t happen again.”
You caught the lead of his tone. “But what if it does?”
“I might have to make sure he knows that you’re mine.”
You wanted him to let the whole world know. You knew he saw your eyes light up because he smirked. “How would you do that?”
“I might have to let him see how I fuck you. I might have to show him how I can make you beg for me, or how willingly you bend over when I’m going to spank you. I might have to show him how wet you get after I mark up your ass, maybe how whiny you get when my hand is around your throat. But maybe I’ll just have to send him the video I’ve been recording tonight, how well you can suck my cock, how badly you want to.”
You were stunned for a moment—recording? Where was the camera? The idea of Andy recording you was such a turn on. You loved making videos for him, but you’d always wanted to see one where he was with you. “You’ve been recording?”
“Would you be okay with that if I was?”
“Yes. I want to watch you fuck me.”
“You’re such a good girl.” He pulled his hips back once and then snapped up noisily, pulling a moan from your throat. “You know how much I love that sound? When you can hardly breathe but you still make all those noises you know I want to hear.”
He leaned in to kiss you, hips stilled, hand still wrapped around your neck. It was brief, a reward, a reminder. You were being good and he loved you, but he was going to fuck you.
You broke away, nodding to let him know you were ready, that you wanted this. “Please.”
He rolled over so you were on top of him. He kept his hold on your neck to keep you sitting up and used his opposite hand to grab your ass. After he kneaded your skin hard enough he knew it would bruise, he spanked you loudly, harshly. Your body jerk forward, taking him in deeper than you knew was possible.
You whined, trying to pull back a little. He gripped your ass again and held you there. It was painful but exciting, you wanted him to push your limits tonight. He so rarely did, concerned with pleasing you second and treating you delicate first.
He let you go only to spank your other ass cheek. Again, you moved forward and you felt fuller than you ever had. You ached between your legs, almost uncomfortably but the idea of having him this deep in your body was making you wetter by the second. You were dripping, you could see how wet his skin was, how much of a mess he was making of your pussy.
“Ride me, sweetheart.”
You found a comfortable position, your hands on either side of his waist in the mattress. He settled his arm between your breasts so he could still see them moving as you began jerking your hips back and forth. They were sharp, abrupt movements because you wanted to come so bad, you could hardly think of anything else. Save for your disbelief over the fact that he was making you do this yourself. But you didn’t argue because the last thing you wanted was punishment for talking back.
He closed his hand more, every sound you made was short and strangled. You moved faster, knowing he was closer when he choked you harder. His free hand took one of your breasts. He was so delicate at first, a gentle, slow touch before he was pinching your nipple so hard you were whining. He smacked your breast and you shuddered, nearly falling forward onto him, but he kept you up. Mostly because he wanted to do it again to your other breast.
Every slap against your breasts—loud and stinging, always surprising because he didn’t want you to have the comfort of a pattern—was pushing you closer to your orgasm. You were mindlessly bouncing on his cock, uncaring of the pain you felt every time you came down just a little too hard for how big he was. You felt like an animal, like you were simply a victim to your body’s depraved, primal desires.
You finished first, screaming things you would be impressed if he actually understood. You could cry, the tension built over days was finally all gone.
He rolled over once more, taking his spot on top again.
You clung to him, legs and arms, pulling him in like you would die if he wasn’t close enough. You needed to feel his whole body against yours.
“Hear that, baby?”
Oh, you heard. You’d been trying to ignore it, but of course, not if Andy had any say in it.
“Hear how wet your pussy is?”
So wet. Every time he pulled out and pushed in, the noise would fill the room. You only nodded.
Since you were wrapped around him so tightly, it wasn’t difficult for him to grab your hip and move you up the bed with him. He set you against the headboard, the pillows under the small of your back, propping you up for him.
He was on his knees now for more leverage. You knew he was going to fuck you hard. “Look at this, baby.” He slowly pulled out and you turned down to watch. “See how messy you’re getting my cock?”
“Yes,” you whined.
He grabbed his cock, used it to drag up and down your cunt several times.
“Andy, please.”
He shushed you, a slow, calm action that contrasted when he smacked the head of his cock against your clit.
You gasped and your hips jerked forward.
“Stay still,” he warned.
He did it over and over, and enjoyed watching you fail at trying to stay seated on the bed. He thrust in completely, quick and hard, only to pull out and smack your clit again. This was his routine for what felt like an agonizing hour, but you knew it was nowhere near that long. You knew even he didn’t have that kind of patience.
You cried out when he finally buried himself inside you again. As he pushed forward, he pulled you down. His fingers found your clit and you were soon tumbling over that edge once more.
As he finished, he pulled you on top of him, lying back on the bed. One arm wrapped tight around your back to pin you against his chest, his opposite hand tangled in your hair tightly. He hid his face in the bend of your neck, grunting as his hips continued to rock just slightly.
He kept you there for several long moments until he had completely satisfied himself. You were intoxicated being this close to him. You angled your head as much as you could and kissed the side of his face.
He turned over, setting you on the bed as he pulled out. You watched him curiously, moving to sit up with him. He made a disapproving noise and you laid back again. Once again, he made his way to the dresser and grabbed his phone.
“You were seriously recording?”
He arched an eyebrow. “Do I usually bluff?”
Nope, never.
“Now I have a reference if you ever forget how a good girl is supposed to act.”
You suppressed an eye roll.
“Open your legs.” He came closer, directing the camera at your pussy. He touched you, spreading his cum all over your skin, rubbing circles around your clit, just barely dipping his fingers into you.
You watched his face the whole time. You loved how much Andy loved you and when he stared at you after fucking you, it was hard to miss. He was obsessed with you and he never minded showing it.
For almost a month, you watched that video every day. You were fascinated by him, the way he moved, the way he touched you. After that, you started wanting to record more and Andy never minded.
requests to be tagged:
@onetwo3000​ @chris-evans-indian-fanfic​ @donutloverxo​ @kleohoneyao3​ @cevans-fics​
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everafterkeiji · 4 years ago
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Song: Certain Things by James Arthur
Summary: When the setter's decision led him to a war with his heart.
Pairings: Keiji Akaashi x fem! reader
Word count: 5.3k
Genre: angst
A/N: i used to listen to this song nonstop and it just suited how sad this is so no happy endings for this one🤺
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"Keiji!"
You watch as she runs up to him, engulfing him in the sweetest hug you could ever imagine. How you envy the feeling of being welcome in his arms. His eyes soften at the sight of her, as she rambled on how amazing he was. He gives her his heart fluttering smile as he lets his palm set on her shoulder, kindly thanking her for watching and supporting him throughout the entire game.
Did your shouts of love become silent to him?
She grabs his towel, patting it lightly on his forehead as he blushes finding the gesture extremely embarassing for the girl he longs for to just wipe away his sweat. He tries to stop her but she insisted, even grabbing her water bottle and giving it to him, asking him to drink some water and rest.
"Hey hey hey- look at me please."
Bokuto says, coming from behind you. You turn to him with water baring eyes, a heartache eating you up with every second you continue to watch. Bokuto sighs as he pulls you in his arms, his chin resting on your crown, as he caresses your hair as you let out an agonizing sob. Bokuto sees the way Akaashi didn't bother to spare them a glance, as Akaashis overall being was captivated by the girl that was beside him. He coes her, whispering how he's got her and he'll never have the courage to let her go, the way the dark haired boy did.
"We won today yeah? Why don't we celebrate?" Bokuto tries to tone his voice in his usual cheery self but feels defeated when he sees her. Y/N looks up at him, he tenses up as he holds your head, an instinct that you were going to look again. You were mid way into letting your eyes land on them but Bokuto stopped you as he held your face in his palm, looking at you with an expression you were well familiar with.
"Y/N."
" 'Taro, shit I'm sorry!" You shouted before wiping away your eyes as his heart winces seeing his friend poorly attempt to regain the sunshine that she once was. Puffed cheeks, swollen eyes, red tinted nose, what a cruel sight yet she dared to cover all of these with a smile. It was disgusting how she made it look so believable, fooling almost everyone that witnessed her little facade. Bokuto falling for it countless of times but has learned to tell the difference every now and then, fitting in for the spot of her once best friend who knew exactly what she was truly feeling.
Akaashi would've read her like a novel he loved but it seems like it wasn't as timeless anymore.
It was now up to Bokuto to handle the shattered girl, even when her own broken heart pierced through her like a knife everyday.
"I-I know a good place to eat at! Maybe then I can treat you for being my favorite ace?" She offers with a sickening chuckle. She was achingly trying. He only gives her a smile, accepting her efforts of hiding how empty she felt. He lets his arm fall on her shoulders, comforting her with everything he can do.
"Oh! I'd like that, kind of like a double date huh? Seems like I get to treat my favorite setter too!" Akemi states, eyes darting towards Akaashi as he becomes flustered with her words. Bokutos eyebrow furrows, and with a pout he tries to insist that you didn't want her to accompany them, but you let your arm come before him as he questions your decisions.
"Sure! The more the merrier right, Ko?" Akemi claps her hand as she gathers her things, Akaashi doing the same. Bokuto takes notice of your longing gaze as he pulls you with him.
"So is that right? I'm your favorite?" Bokuto teases, as you laugh punching him lightly on his shoulder. He chuckles but was taken by surprise as you wrap your arms around his neck, standing on your tip toes to reach him. He immediately wraps his arms around your waist as you pat his hair, nuzzling your face in his neck as you smile, feeling gratitude for an amazing friend like him.
"You were fantastic earlier, I'm sorry for being so-" Bokuto cuts you off with a shout of triumph, making you confused as he pulls away. He wouldn't let her continue her sentence, knowing he couldn't stand hearing her blame herself for something she couldn't handle.
"Ah! What a starter! Thanks Y/N! No wonder I'm the best huh?" He shouts closing his eyes, putting his hands on his hips smiling to himself. You laugh, enjoying how it fed his confidence. Akaashi turns to the two of you watching how Bokuto oddly portray his muscles as you laugh loudly. Akemi smiles beside him, finding the duo quite suited for each other
"They should date! Bokuto makes her so happy!" She claims, as Akaashi blinks, shaking his head turning to meet her green eyes.
"She hates guy who shows off their muscles like that. She think's its a bit cocky." Akemi laughs at Akaashi, since what he said sounded like a known fact.
"Maybe everything can change when she's with him."
She states, making his eyes widen. Impossible. She can't just switch her words just because of Bokuto. He says to himself. Once he hears how genuine your laugh was and realizes that the ace was the cause of it, he stiffens at the thought of the you and the captain together. Akaashi was the one to introduce you to him so it was a surprise you two would come together like that, especially when he felt how Bokuto adjusted to you quite quickly.
"Ooh Y/N likes that color! Will you get it for her, Akaashi?!" Bokuto asks, pointing excitedly at a plush toy. Akaashis blue eyes turned to the location where the finger was pointed and he smiles seeing an immensely cute plush toy he knew you would love but this glee ends when he realizes that Bokuto managed to remember your favorite color.
"Bokuto-san, I'm impressed you knew what she liked." He said with an amused smile. The other boys eyes glimmered in the moonlight, remembering your past conversations with him.
"It's easy! Y/N always talk about many things and it's so freaking awesome. You've known her for the longest time right 'Kaashi? She's so cool." His words bring a smile to the setters lips, loving how Bokuto got along with you so well.
"Oh wait! Akaashi!"
"Yes, Bokuto-san?"
"Well! You've been with her since you were young right? So that means.. you like her!"
Akaashi coughs on his water looking at Bokuto. Bokutos cackle echoed through the air and his words consuming Akaashi's thoughts.
"I do like her but not romantically ok?" He defends, but Bokuto let's out a displeased scoff skipping ahead of the flustered setter. Happily moving knowing he's got him on a hot seat.
"That can change Akaashi!"
And it did.
For Y/N to watch Akemi casually serve Akaashi his food, it was like being tortured in a chamber or watching it to make your brain rot. They look perfect, she thinks. Bokuto was eating happily beside him, and setting aside how hurt she was, she chose to ignore the throbbing of her heart. Akaashi was in front of her as Akemi was in front of Bokuto. The two were in well conversation as Bokuto tried to gather your attention while he brings up how excited he was for a new move.
Dropping your chopsticks, you curse as you got out of your chair to bend down and reach it. Grabbing it in your hands as you look up to see a hand covering the sharp corner of the table. Your eyes follow it and realizing it was Akaashis hand, protecting you if you were to hit your head. This minimal effort was enough to set your soul on fire, admiring how he was able to act so quickly and composed. You return to your seat, Akaashi watching you steadily to make sure you were back. You give him a nod, thanking him for being observant as he smiles to you instead.
Just maybe.
You feel the rising heat on your cheeks as you sip water, hoping it were to ease your frantic heart. You observe Akemi, and painfully suck in the harsh truth that you couldn't deny. Everything that Akaashi has told you about his dream girl, the list of expectations he's had, it was all her. The embodiment of what Akaashi wants to hold, to love and to keep. You hear how her laughter sounded like gentle music, even her personality radiated nothing but sunshine.
All you can do was sigh, when a dream like her already has captured the heart of the young boy you grew to love.
She drops her phone, somewhat mirroring your actions beforehand. Akaashi turns to her immediately, as your heart took another strike seeing him mimic the same actions he had with you. Hand covering the edge, with a gentle hand on her back as she picks up the device leaving you stranded in strings of pain. She smiles at him, casually resting her hand on his as a thank you. Akaashi immediately blushes before placing his other hand on top, eyes lovingly holding onto hers.
The string of hope that you held on for dear life, immediately broke as you let the cup of water fall from your hands, taking an excruciating hit as you were brought back to the silent beating of your heart.
I'm certain that I'm yours.
Or at least I thought.
Bokuto calls your name multiple times as he frantically wipes the spillage of the water that was on the table and on your attire. You felt towels pat your lap gently as Bokuto still continued to put effort in grabbing your attention. Akemi looks at you concerned, worried for whatever thought that you had in mind was enough for you to completely lose your grip on reality.
"Y/N, hey!"
"I didn't think I'd be able to stay with you this long, Y/N." He says with a smile as you walk with him. It was early in the morning, both on your way to school. Coffee in both hands as you give him a pout, finding his statement in a different tone.
"You make it sound like you're unfortunate." You joke as Akaashi laughs beside you, sipping coffee before letting out a satisfied sigh.
"You've been with me even before I got in Fukurodani. I'm just really happy I've found somebody to turn to." You smile as your fingers brush against each other in which at the contact made you both blush. All the tension that was held in the moment was a bunch of unheard confessions, both unwilling to let them speak.
"I'm lucky I have you too, Kei."
"Seems like someone isn't technically happy of sharing the spotlight with me." Akaashi teases pointing at a very sleepy Bokuto who was walking up to you two.You giggle at the setter, while his blue eyes stayed on your smiling lips, relieved that it didn't fail to make him smile as well.
"Y/N."
A stern voice makes your gloomy eyes trail over to a pair of blue ones you were addicted to.
"Y/N? What's wrong with you? You made a mess." He says, completely knocking you off your limit. You stood up, hands on the table with your head down as Bokuto grunts knowing exactly what was bound to happen.
"I'm sorry Akaashi."
"That was reckless. You could've spilled it all over us, even Akemi-"
Bokuto winces when the name slips off of Akaashis lips as you hastily grab your wallet placing the money to Bokuto and mumbling a sorry before rushing to leave, tears falling from your tired eyes once you were out of the restaurant. Bokuto observes the way Akaashis eyes remained enlarged when it hit him how harsh he was. The captain wished that this worry of Akaashi would last long, since this was his first time seeing the setter show any concern for the poor girl in such a long time.
"Bokuto, will she be alright?" Akemi asks him, as he lets out a shrug of defeat. Akaashi bit his lip feeling the responsibility of his actions weigh on both him and the ace. He knew that Bokuto would never be able to comfort her the way he does, and reading her expressions when she left, reassuring her wouldn't be as easy.
Because he was the reason why she was hurting, not even realizing the damage has been done too many times already.
Your feet felt like weights as you ran, feeling the burn of guilt pass through you. On your way to pick up some snacks and refreshments for their match, a certain sight caught your eye leading you to your current decision.
"Yes thank you!" You say with a smile before, leaving the store with the things you bought. You rub your eyes, hating how early you had to catch a bus for their match. This was your only chance to watch them again since you avoided Akaashi for days, making Bokuto your company. You apologized dozens of times to Bokuto for leaving him in an awkward situation. Of course he forgave you, deciding to treat you to a movie instead to erase your worry.
Suddenly a familiar voice spikes up your interest, your head turning left and right to find Akemi. Instead, a tall man walks pass you carrying a bag that you've seen multiple times. You shrug, not wanting to lead to conclusions knowing how Akemi was genuine with her admiration for Akaashi.
"Haru-san!"
Akemi greets, arms wrapped around the waist of the man. You turn to see the two hugging and you gripped the plastic bag in your hands, as Haru places a gentle kiss on her forehead making you stunned even more.
"So where we going later?" He asks, as you lower your head, trying to control your breathing. This is impossible. How could she just lead him on like that! You despised how you weren't able to save Akaashi from the beginning, and now it was your turn to drop a heavy bomb on your best friend.
"We'll meet up later okay? I'll just attend my friend's match."
Friends.
You immediately walked away, weakened at what she just said. No matter shape or form, Akaashi would be hurt, completely. It hurt you that you'd have to see the painful expression on Akaashis face. You bit your lip, trying to avoid the look of dismay on your best friend. You let out a sad sigh as you began to pick up the pace in your walk.
Is it his turn to feel hopeless?
You've tried your best to avoid him. The tension being unresolved between the two of you yet you were happy Akaashi understood why you've created distance between you and him.
Knowing the two were inseparable, you were the one to adjust whenever Bokuto would be heading to practice or even going to lunch. Although, Akaashi gave you some space knowing his outburst completely set a different side to your friendship. You two have never really fought in such a way, he knew even if it was a small fight there was a distinct aura that surrounded the two of you. Beyond what happened, he knew you were facing some other problem that he was clueless of and him adding to your issues wasn't helping the both of you.
So whenever the dark haired boy saw you bid goodbye to Bokuto whenever he was on his way to approach the captain, it stung in his heart.
Akaashi sighs beside Bokuto. Koutaro was prepping himself up completely, pressing his palms to his cheeks. They were up to play soon and the blue eyed boy wonders if she would be able to make it back in time. While he wonders about you, his mind swerves to Akemi. He finds himself foolishly smiling at the thought of them holding hands at the restaurant so he looks at his phone, finding her contact and glancing at their photo.
Next to her contact was yours, which he was hesitant to tap on. He shuts off his phone before seeing Bokuto wave frantically with a smile on his face. Akaashi looks at you, eyes shining knowing you made it just in time to bid him goodluck and hopefully to clear up the quarrel. You felt your heart leap with every step, a war in your head in how you were going to tell him. Your hands tightened as you walk over to them, Bokuto patting your head showing how delighted he was that you were there. Akaashi wonders if you could even spare him a glance.
" 'Taro! I have your snacks but- promise me you'll be the best out there and maybe I'll treat you later!" You say as Bokuto punches the air, his mind in a frenzy at the scenario in his head of eating his favorite food.
You turn to Akaashi, shakily grabbing his arm as he stiffens at your sudden contact. He looks at your weary eyes as you desperately tried to calm down.
"Keiji, can we talk?" Why did you say it like that? He asks himself. His name has never sounded so troublesome before. He fidgets with his fingers as he trails behind you as you lead him to a more private place. You felt the shivers reach your body, immediately bringing coldness at how anxious you were. This was the first time in days where you two would be able to converse properly again.
As you make your way to a corner, Akaashis feet was tapping furiously, scared of what you were going to say. He waits for you to speak as he watches you take a deep breath as you hold his arm once again. Softer than before but it felt like a desperate touch.
"Kei- you do trust me right?" Akaashi nods immediately, lips frowning at the tone of her voice. Is she going to leave me? Please say no. He wanted to get this over with so he wonders if you were just going to rip off the bandaid and end the friendship even if he was willing to apologize multiple times. But then, how could you end it just because he was right about being reckless?
"Akemi- she has a boyfriend, Keiji-"
"You came.. to tell me this?"
"Akaashi- I-I know you like her but"
"God Y/N how could you.." Akaashi exclaims as you aggresively run your fingers through your hair, before grabbing his jacket trying to make him stay. He stands there in shock, as rage and envy flow through him overwhelming him in the process. His hands form a ball as it tightens quickly at the thought of how Akemi was just being nice all the time.
Akaashi looks at you only to find truth in your eyes but his heart betrays the both of you, now broken and in denial that the girl he adored was dating somebody that wasn't him.
"Akaashi, please listen to me! I don't want you to get hurt..believe me!" You pleaded, throwing away how hurt you were from the drastic change in his tone.
"Hurt? So you think you're being considerate then?" Akaashi questions her with spite in his tone. His demeanor towering over her as she crumbles at his voice. Akaashis heart coming back to the reason why it was guarded in the first place.
"Keiji.. you know that's not what I mean!" You defended yourself as Akaashi scoffs. It was mocking you how composed he looked yet the tone of his voice was laced with pure hatred. Deep down, Akaashi accepted the fact that he could never really win Akemi but he was blinded by the pain that you brought him.
"You're just jealous, Y/N. Stop lying." He continued, making you shake your head as you tried to grasp his jacket again but this time your hands barely touched the fabric making your heart gasp at how Akaashi was out of your grip.
"I didn't know you could pull off being a liar, and I don't see myself being a friend with a trait like yours."
The tears flowed down your cheeks as you let out a shakey breath, in disbelief at what he just said. I'm not lying, Akaashi. You promised me you trusted me.
"You said you t-trusted me, Akaashi! How could that change for you!" You shouted as he was brought back to Akemis words.
"Maybe everything can change."
"You promise I'll be okay?"
"I've got no reason to doubt you." He says smiling as you lean your head on his shoulder, tracing random lines and doodling away on his soft skin. Under the beautiful tree, with purple painted skies with clouds up above. After a stressful day on your side, the setter took notice of how you've let yourself fall onto your insecurities once again so he took it upon himself and brought you to a silent place to show you how you shouldn't worry about anything, comforting you with his kind words and him trusting you that would be able to regain your old self again.
"Certain things hurt and you're my only virtue." You confess as his heart spikes up its speed with your response. You sat up, gazing at the houses who seemed too tiny from your distance. You held your knees to your chest with lips formed in a relaxed state as you lean on your arm that was on top of your knee.
And I'm virtually yours.
Akaashi remained with his back on the grass as he admired your features wondering how you could ever put yourself down, when you took away his words whenever you were with him, hiding it perfectly and keeping his admiration far from you to avoid the continous breaking of his heart knowing he'd betray your beloved friendship.
I adore you, he thinks to himself as the only thing that reflected in his eyes were the girl he's lost to his wrong decision.
"You changed and it's disappointing. All because of jealousy? I've been with you for so long, how did you become selfish?"
Selfish. I must've been crazy then, you think. You let out a bitter chuckle, Akaashi frightened at this side of you you've yet to show him before. It was like poison consuming your body, in which the poison came in the form of his words.
"All I've ever been is selfless, god I even let you fall for someone else when I've been in love with you for years."
You took a step back as Akaashi stood where he was, feeling as if his feet couldn't leave the floor as he lets himself drown in your confession. He gulps as he was struck with regret since he had no idea how to respond to you. His eyes trail to the floor as he struggles to find the words.
Then the battle began, between in what he knows whose right for you and his heart who wanted no one else but you.
He was miserable. A side of him wanted to say how much he's waited for you to bid those words to him and claim that he's felt the same as you, but the other side wanted to badly decline knowing he was stuck in choosing you and Akemi. Akemi who has effortlessly tugged on his heart strings and gained it with her gentleness and beautiful personality, and you who's promised to stay forever and loved him longer than anyone else has.
Don't make me choose on who I love more.
He knew the time would come where his decisions would bare another heavy mark on him. He's already made a terrible one by putting his heart in the hands of Akemis instead of yours. He wishes there wasn't a deadline to this difficult decision, but to him it seemed like if he doesn't choose now, he'd feel the pain everyday.
"AKAASHI! LET'S GO!" Bokuto screams as Akaashi turns his eyes to you in a swift move, finding your eyes covered in tears but how come you looked like you felt nothing? You sniffle as you give him a warm smile, a reaction he didn't want to see knowing it wasn't a smile that could bring him joy.
"Goodluck, Akaashi."
He takes a step forward trying to capture you in his arms but Bokuto grabs him by the arm pulling him away from you, Bokuto saying goodbye to you as well and reminding you the promise you gave him. That moment, all that Akaashi wanted to was run and replace the silence he gave you. You deserved to hear what he truly felt, but his words were trapped as he still had to examine if he was choosing the right ones.
But he ran out of time.
-
The game starts and he prays for his performance to be at his usual best. Once Bokuto had the setter to himself, Akaashi couldn't hold back and told him what happened. Bokuto felt horrible for both of you, while feeling revengeful to Akemi since he too fell for her sweet gestures to Akaashi thinking that she actually liked him. Importantly, Bokuto badly wanted to be there for you. He knew how much you liked him so for you to confess so suddenly during your argument, it had the grey haired boy worried about you.
He couldn't blame Akaashi, as much as he wanted to. He acted in a way because he was suffering, but they didn't realize they both were. Though, he wished Akaashi could've treated her better, believed her. Bokuto believed her the minute Akaashi told him, and it was because he trusted her completely and she wouldn't speak out without a reason meanwhile Akaashi chose to hold onto denial.
And as they play, Akaashi looks over to the stands, searching for you when he came upon Akemis. The pretty girl with an arm wrapped around her shoulder as Akaashi loses the ball in his hands from the view.
"Akaashi, please listen to me! I don't want you to get hurt..believe me!"
"You said you t-trusted me, Akaashi! How could that change for you!"
Like the ball falling to the floor, his heart went along with it.
Scream. That's what he wanted to do. How absurd of him to get it wrong twice, there shouldn't even be any room for mistakes. I can't believe I lost her..again. Akaashi thinks. There was a painful ache in his heart, yet he couldn't set it free not wanting to let down the team. Especially in a match like this. He wanted to break, to land on the ground and let his consciousness scold him for hours. He deserved it. He should've learned but he was trapped inside a world where he thought Akemi would've been his everything, when he was blind to how powerful his love for you all this time.
Come back to me.
"Akaashi!" Bokutos hand reach his shoulder and all he could do was stare at a pair of blank eyes. Before the ace could ask what happened, Akaashi was clutching on to Bokutos jersey harshly taking the older boy by surprise.
"She was right." Akaashi utters as he points to the crowd making Bokuto squint just to find where Akemi was. Once he finds them, he sighs sadly before trying to come up with a response to cheer the boy up. It was obvious that Akaashi was too affected to perform properly. Lip quivering as if his world was destroyed twice.
"Doesn't that mean the only thing you can come back to is Y/N?"
Akaashi looks up to him, confused. Bokuto patted the boys shoulder with a soft smile.
"Look over there." This time, it was Bokutos turn to point to the other side of the stands to see you glancing over them. Akaashis eyes glimmered at the sight of you, like life was brought to him in an instant. Happiness couldn't be the only word to describe his emotions.
You were watching.
And he was going to win. Just for you.
This brings him a massive wave of energy, not digging into his thoughts. You smile wiping your heavy eyes seeing him back to his usual self. In his heart he was happy but a mistake shouldn't be rewarded by a smile.
Sticking to his promise, they won but an unfamiliar feeling sets in his skin making him stop in his tracks making Bokuto look behind him to see Akaashi with his hand on top of his chest and eyes straight to the floor. Bokuto grips the phone in his hand, biting his lip and looking down, his heart aching as well.
"Bokuto-san, where is she?" His voice cracks, a tear finally escaping his eyes. He lets out a soft sniffle looking everywhere for a trace of you. Bokuto just shakes his head as a response and Akaashis eyes widen as he harshly wipes away his tears with the sleeve of his jacket. Written in his lips and eyes, Akaashi was exhausted. At first, he thought that letting go of his emotions would be the answer but now he was letting them free yet he didn't wanna scream anymore. He already felt his throat dry at the realization.
"Doesn't that mean the only thing you can come back to is Y/N?"
You sank in your seat, numb to how wet your cheeks were from the continous flow of your tears. Your chest was heaving up and down but your eyes were already closed with tight lips pressed into a line. There were certain things you wish you could've done, but staying wasn't an option when you've gone through multiple battles already. This was the last straw.
Even if you did wanted to fight for him, would he do the same?
You let out a sigh as you open your eyes seeing the road and reminiscing on your last walk with Akaashi.
"What's her name again?" You ask, kicking a rock to the side before shoving your hands inside the pocket of your blazer. Akaashi smiles out of bliss at the thought of her smile and once you've got a glimpse of his expression, you question the drop in your heartbeat as you see him blush before fidgeting with his fingers.
"Akemi." He says, his heart beating loudly. Saying her name already brought the setter in touch with his emotions. It was unlikely for him to feel his heart flutter, but being around Akemi brought him to smile whenever she was there, get anxious to respond to her, and get a flush on his cheeks at the thought of her moments with him.
The name rings in your ears as you were greeted by the silencing beat of your heart. You watch as he turns to you since you've trailed behind him. You visualize how you've seen him with Akemi during lunch and that's when you knew.
It's never going to be me, is it?
"Let's go, Bokuto-san." Bokuto bit his lip, waiting for you to go to them and proving him it was all a prank.
"Akaashi-"
"She left already and I-" His voice breaks making Bokuto gaze at him in pain.
"I'm sorry I couldn't make her stay, Akaashi." Bokuto whispers. Akaashi drags his sleeve to his eyes again, hating how his eyes grew heavy with the tears that escaped his sorrowful blue ones. With a tragic wound embedded in his heart, he spoke.
"I couldn't either."
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fanficgirl104 · 4 years ago
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Writing prompt: "Do you want me to leave? "
~~~~~
Adrien noticed there was something wrong with Marinette. She wasn't as joyfull or bubbly as usual, she looked as thought she was bored.
When he tried talking to her she answered his questions shortly and didn't try to make conversation like she usually does. Also, she didn't even statter once.
At first he thought it had something to do with him, but he noticed that she didn't even talk to Alya. Even Chloe didn't try to make a witty remark on the bags under Marinette's eyes. She had stayed quiet, which is unusual. As though she understood what was going on.
During last period Adrien remembered who Marinette would actually talk to. A certain black cat who liked visiting her from time to time. When school was finally over he looked over to Marinette to see her gathering he things and leaving with her head down.
He grabbed Alya's shoulder before she left. "Hey, do you know what's wrong with Mari? " He asked and Alya frowned "No. She won't tell me. She keeps saying she is fine even though it's obvious that she is not and won't let me help. Sorry Adrien she won't talk to me. I don't know why. She even asked me not to go over to her place." Adrien nodded sadly and let the redhead go.
His bodyguard walked him to the car and he could not stop thinking about Marinette. He has known her for a little more that three years now and even thought he still loves Ladybug very much, he learned to get over her and move on. That was when the sweet girl with the pigtails, a girl he considered one of his best friends, his every-day-ladybug, as he once called her, made her way into his heart.
He was visiting her as chat noir and they would talk and talk for hours. They would look at the sky and the stars. She knew a lot about them, something he recently found out, they would drink hot chocolate and share a blanket when it got cold. She would comfort him and make him feel loved and accepted for exactly who he was. Not the perfect model and shy friend everyone else thinks him to be. But the funny, adventurous, clown he really is. She would even laugh at his silly cat puns sometimes.
He thought back to the first time he realised he was in love with her.
---
It was just a normal day at school for him. No akuma attacks, no sudden explosions or anything of the kind. Just a normal, boring school day when he heard Kim talking to Max.
"Oh please! Ladybug is doing all the work, Chat Noir is just a useless idiot who makes mistakes and hold her back." He said naming Adrien's biggest fear. That he was useless, that Ladybug didn't need him. That he was holding her back. That he was vulnerable.
He looked around to find Marinette looking a second before realising smoke from her ears. Face red, if looks could kill Marinette would have tortured, brutally killed, brought back to life and killed him again. Alya was holding her arm like if she let go Mari would attack Kim like a rabid dog.
"I mean what kind of idiot almost gets his partner killed, and himself?! He is the worst partner anyone could have. He only brings bad luck. She would be better off without him, or she should at least look for a better partner." Kim said chuckling. Adrien wanted to crawl away and cry like a stray baby cat who had been hit by a bus and survived.
He almost missed the blue-black haired girl that was making her way to Kim angrily.
"EXCUSE ME?!?! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?! LADYBUG AND CHAT NOIR ARE EQUALS IF NOT HE IS BETTER!!!! HE MAY HAVE MADE A FEW MISTAKES BUT SHE HAS TOO. HE HAS SAVED HER LIFE MULTIPLE TIMES PUTTING HIS AT RISK WITHOUT HESITATION!!! SHE MAY BE ABLE TO PURIFY THE AKUMAS BUT SHE WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO DEFEAT THE VILLAINS ON HER OWN!!! SHE WOULD BE DEAD THE MOMENT SHE EVEN TRIED TO TAKE THEM DOWN ON HER OWN!!!!! HE IS AN AMAZINGLY KIND PERSON WITH THE BIGGEST HEART, HE IS SINCERE, HE IS GENEROUS, HE IS BRAVE, HE IS THE GREATEST PARTNER SHE COULD HAVE EVER ASKED FOR!!! SHE IS THE ONE THAT DOESN'T DESERVE HIM!!! SHE WOULD BE NOTHING WITHOUT HIM!!! IT IS SAD HOW EVERYONE IS LOOKING AT HER WHEN HE IS THE ONE GETTING THE HITS AND RISKING HIS LIFE TO SAVE US!! SHE WOULD BE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WITHOUT HIM!!! AND DON'T YOU DARE SAY ANYTHING LIKE THAT ABOUT HIM EVER AGAIN!! YOU DON'T KNOW HIM!!! "
Adrien was sure the whole of Paris had heard her. He could stop smiling and blushing at what she had said. Did she really think that. He was close enough to hear Lila day something like "Of course trash likes trash. The most useless person on the planet would of course like the useless superhero. " He was so close to hissing at her. Like she had insulted something of his. But since when did he consider Marinette his?
He passed by her house that night to find her on her balcony curled up in a blanket holding two cups of hot chocolate. Waiting for him.
"Hello purrr-ncess. How are you in this lovely day? " He asked making an overly dramatic bow. She rolled her eyes at him playfully. "Why it had been great my kind knight. " She slightly bowed her head at him playing along.
He sat beside her, taking a sip, looking at his feet. "So, I was passing by your school.. And I heard an argument you had with K-a guy. I've been meaning to ask. Did you mean all that princess? " He hesitantly asked. Marinette turned around to look at him. She put her chocolate at the small table and cuped his face with both her hands making him look at her. "Of course I did. Every word." He averted his eyes "I didn't think I would actually matter to someone that's all. "
"You matter Kitty. You matter to a lot of people. You matter to me. " She said making him look at her shocked. He noticed how her eyes where a piercing blue in the moonlight, impossible not to notice them sparkling. Her eyes sparkle when she talks about something that she loves. He saw how her hair looked almost midnight blue when light hit them. He saw her smile. A smile that was for him. A smile he said to himself that he wanted to see everyday.
She kissed his cheek and hugged him. He felt his pulse quickening, he felt warm and at peace. Like he wanted to hold her forever. To freeze time. That was when he knew. He knew that girl was a criminal, she had stolen his heart.
---
With Marinette
"I'm tired Tikky. I'm so so tired. I can't do this anymore it's too much!! " Marinette was sobbing on her bed. She was just so sick of everything. Having to deal with school, being ladybug, being a guardian, having to lie to everyone around her. She feels like she lost her entire life. It has been three years! She was 17 going to 18. She feels as though her life ended three and a half years ago. She has lost her sleep.
Tikky was trying to comfort her any way possible but all Marinette wanted was to be left alone. On top of everything she had to deal with moving on from Adrien and her broken heart, her newfound feelings for chat noir, her «break up» with Luka and getting fed up with all the romance crap.
She was still crying softly when she heard someone tapping on her window. "Princess? " She heard Chat's voice. She remembered he promised to come by. After a minute without an answer he knocked again. "Princess?... If you don't answer in the next minute I'm coming in." He said.
Tikky begged Marinette with her eyes. She could almost hear the creature saying 'you need to talk to someone.'
She heard her window open. Apparently it had been a minute and he was worried. He thought something had happened to her. He saw her curled up on her bed her back facing him. "Princess?" He asked.
"Chat don't-dont look at me.. " She already felt insecure and her, well, maybe, crush seeing her a crying mess was not something she liked. "Why princess I bet you look beautiful, like you always do." He complimented. She didn't know that he actually ment it. That he thought she was the most beautiful girl he had ever layed his eyes on. That every time she had her hair down during the nights he visited it took his breath away every time. That he thought she had the most beautiful smile that could light up an entire room. That he thought everything about her was beautiful.
He went closer to her bed while she hesitantly turned. And slightly sat up not looking at him. "Really? " She asked. She felt like such a little girl. Vulnerable. She felt disgusting like she was fishing for compliments. She is ladybug dammit. She doesn't need anyone to tell her she is pretty.
He cuped her face the way she had that night. The night he knew. He looked into her eyes and whispered "beautiful." Her slightly red nose and puffy glossy eyes gave away that she was crying. Yet he thought she looked amazing. He wiped her tears and placed his forehead against hers "what's wrong princess? " She started crying again and hugged him tightly.
"In just so tired chat. It's just too much. The responsibility is too much I can't deal with it. Everything is in the air! Nothing is in order. Nothing has a program. I am 17 and a half Chat! I've been doing this for three and a half years!! I've been lying to everyone for three and a half years. I'm saying I'm fine but I'm not chat. I'm not at all. I just want it all to stop. I just want to be alone.I can't do this chat. I'm not strong enough. "
Chat felt something inside him break. The girl that he thought was one of the strongest people he knew just broke into his chest. He didn't know what she was talking about him but he didn't really care. She would tell him when she was ready. Part of him wanted to comfort her. To keep her in his arms and let her know that it was okay to feel like this. But after the words 'I just want to be alone. ' he could help but think he was included so when she broke the hug he had to ask.
"Do you want me to leave? "
She looked at his through her lashes she didn't speak for a moment and he got nervous. He didn't want to leave her in a state like this. "No. No I don't. Please stay.. " She said. She looked tired. "I am. " He reassured her "when was the last time you slept? " He asked "I actually don't remember. " She answered and automatically yawned.
He layed her down and cuddled her. "Sleep princess. I am here now. " He whispered. She rubbed his chest making him purr. How did she know exactly how to do that? He would not find out. And frankly he didn't care. All he cared about was the sleeping girl in his arms. The girl he once thought as just a very good friend. Now he felt like an idiot. All that mattered was that she was in his arms. He would do anything to help her feel better. He didn't care about the cost.
He only cared that he was asleep with the girl he loved.
If only he knew she felt the exact same way...
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Chapter Two of See You in the Morning Time
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The third in a Rafael Barba/Reader/Frederick Chilton threesome verse written in collaboration with @pascalispretty . Gif by @mrsrafaelbarba . Yep. We did this. Was it necessary? No. Did we enjoy it? Sometimes. Are you going to read it? I sure hope you do and that you like it! Cross posted to ao3!
Part Three of the series So Much Easier than You Realize
Chapter One: A Different Feeling Entirely Chapter Two: Show Me the New
Warnings: Frederick being an anxious (and sad. and repressed) little weenie, discussions of period typical homophobia, bi panic, completely invented backstory (you got on this ride folks lol), Rafael being surprisingly supportive, cuddling, and of course a little bit of teasing Rating: PG-13 Word Count: 2293 Summary: It's not often that Fred instigates anything with Rafael except an argument.
It’s late by the time Fred and Rafael finally make their way to bed. They shower and put pajamas on while waiting for the food to arrive and once they eat, they finish the bottle of wine that Fred had opened earlier and spend the rest of the evening chatting and watching some dumb movie on TV.
Lying in Fred’s bed in his borrowed clothes, Rafael can’t help but smile to himself. After weeks of skittishness from Fred he had finally made it past some of the walls that the doctor had put up. Fred curled close to Rafael while they watched the movie, dragging a blanket over the two of them and cozying up entirely unprompted.
When Fred comes out of the bathroom and flicks the lights off, he’s even more pleased that Fred doesn’t seem to hesitate to lie close to him in bed or reach out for his hand.
“Thank you for letting me stay,” Rafael murmurs, to break the silence more than anything. He hears Fred scoff.
“I was hardly going to kick you out as soon as we were done.” As best as he can, Rafael turns on his side trying to make Fred out in the darkness of the room.
“I know. I just wasn’t sure how you’d feel.” He’s not at his most eloquent or subtle, but he wants to acknowledge what happened between them. “You were… hesitant at first and I just want to make sure you didn’t feel like you had to do this. As of a few days ago you were still pretty clear that you were not comfortable with the two of us having sex.”
Rafael doesn’t want to force a confidence, but he feels like he has to make sure. He’s coming to care too deeply about the arrogant chronically awkward man next to him to just let this go with vague assurances. He hears Fred shift onto his back and wants nothing more than to drag him into his arms and kiss his stupid, conceited face, but he holds himself still and waits for Fred to answer him, giving him the space he clearly wants.
“This wasn’t as sudden as you think it was,” Fred assures him eventually, face still pointed at the ceiling. “I’ve been thinking about this since, you know, that first time.” Rafael can practically feel Fred’s blush from his side of the bed and grins. “And my reticence was never about you, you know that, yes?”
Rafael nods, realizes Fred probably can’t see him, and clears his throat.
“Yeah, I figured as much. I am, after all, a damn catch.”
Rafael yelps as Fred reaches out, faster than he thought was possible for a well-fed psychiatrist who sits behind a desk all day, and smacks him on the chest.
They’re quiet for a few minutes, together in the dark cocoon of Fred’s bedroom, before Rafael sighs. He can’t help but notice the similarities between the blank peacefulness of Fred’s minimalist design and the deliberately organized calm of a therapist’s office and wonders if he did that on purpose. Maybe it’s a natural inclination, he muses idly. It invites honesty. The sharing of secrets.
“I’m only eighteen months younger than Benn, you know,” Fred says eventually, and it’s so unexpected that Rafael finds himself frowning a little in confusion. “All the way through school, I was Bennett Chilton’s younger brother; just the little brother of the handsome quarterback that everyone adored.” Rafael has seen photos of Bennett, tall and painfully handsome. He can see that it might have been hard to grow up in that shadow.
“He came out when he was sixteen, and I was fourteen. And I’m sure you can imagine what that was like at an all-boys Catholic school in Virginia in the eighties.” Rafael winces in the dark. He remembers well enough the attitudes in his own high school, in marginally more liberal New York. He can’t imagine what it must have been like in a place without a visible community to look up to.
“People were mostly smart enough not to say anything to Benn’s face--he was a six foot two starter who never backed down from a fight, they would have had to have been stupid--and our parents were supportive. But the things people said about him behind his back--” Fred shudders, an involuntary shiver that makes Rafael want to wrap his arms around him and never let go.
Instead, he just squeezes Fred’s hand reassuringly and waits for him to continue. For someone who has trouble shutting up at the very best of times--staying silent isn’t Rafael’s forte--he is doing an admirable job tonight. His desire to prove he’s worthy of this unexpected vulnerability from Fred is more than enough to keep him quiet. Rafael is desperate to know more, to know everything about Fred; about what makes him tick, about why he was so reticent, so reserved, when clearly this is something that he enjoys.
“It was awful. The kind of things you never want to hear about somebody you love. And I was hardly in any position to be giving out bloody noses or black eyes whenever someone called him a fag, or made some crack about AIDS.” Rafael shifts slightly nearer, still not saying anything. He smiles to himself when he feels one of Fred’s hands reach up to rest on Rafael’s hip.
“I was a short, scrawny child--I spent a lot of time in the hospital and home sick--and I couldn’t afford to give the other boys in my school one more reason to pick on me so I just… didn’t say anything. I’m not proud of it, but it’s not like Benn had any trouble sticking up for himself. I doubt he would have appreciated anyone stealing his opportunity to get into one more fight anyways.”
Rafael covers the hand Fred has on his hip with his own, deciding now is not the time to joke that he can’t ever imagine Fred as scrawny. Fred clears his throat again and continues in the same calm, rehearsed manner. Like this is something that he witnessed happening to someone else.
“It wasn’t long after that that I had my own month of absolute pure terror and confusion. It was one of Bennett’s teammates from the swim team that actually sent me over the edge. His name was Bobby and he was gorgeous. He had never made any jokes about Bennett, never joked about changing somewhere else in the locker room. He was a little stupid, I can admit that now, but back then I thought he was perfect. I worshipped my brother and this pretty boy clearly did the same.
“Well, I was horrified. Up until then I had been fully and completely in love with a girl I had known practically since infancy. Was all of that a lie? Was being gay genetic? Was Billy going to go through the same thing? It took me a whole month before I had the guts to ask Bennett and I nearly stabbed him with our father’s letter opener when he laughed at me.”
Rafael winces again, knowing how touchy Fred is now, a grown adult well-respected in his professional field and still a little obsessed with slights, perceived and real. Fred huffs, forcing any trace of bitterness out of his voice.
“He told me that you can like girls and boys at the same time and that I should go see if I still liked jerking off to pictures of Jennifer Connolly.” Rafael isn’t able to suppress his snort.
“I always liked Carrie Fisher,” he tells Fred, smiling over at him.
“You would, you pervert,” Fred shoots back. “Probably loved that bikini, didn’t you?”
“I think I’ll plead the Fifth on that one.”
Fred shakes his head and sighs deeply.
“Well, naturally, that was enough humiliation for me for one afternoon and so I threw a throw pillow at him and bolted for my room.”
“Did you jerk off to Jennifer Connolly?”
“Rafael, I can still kick you out of this apartment.”
“Sorry.” Rafael is silent for all of twelve seconds before he asks again, “Come on Fred, I’ve got to know; did you?”
“...Maybe,” Fred reluctantly admits. Rafael laughs and squeezes his hand.
“Moving on from your prurient obsession with my teenaged masturbatory life,” Fred says pointedly, managing to sound arch, offended, and haughty all at the same time. “I contemplated for a while what Benn had told me. A long time actually--that percolated in my brain all throughout the rest of high school. I only ever dated girls, I ignored it completely every time I was even remotely attracted to another boy, but I kept thinking about that. Not only did I have a lifelong conviction that if Bennett said it it must be so, but it just sort of felt right, you know?”
Rafael nods, remembering a similar feeling he had when he was younger. Despite what the other boys in his neighborhood said about “queers”, despite what the Church said, and despite what he knew his father would do to him if he heard Rafael’s thoughts, he was what he was and that was that. Fuck anyone who said different, he remembered thinking. It’s not like he could change it, even if he wanted to.
“Yeah, I know what you mean,” he answers when it’s clear that Fred requires some encouragement to continue. Fred twines his fingers with Rafael’s before carrying on.
“I lived with Benn in college. Our father bought him an apartment in Cambridge the day he got his acceptance letter from Harvard, and it only seemed logical that I’d move in once I got accepted too. And, I don’t know. It was a little easier there.” Rafael thinks he grimaces, but it’s hard to tell in the dark.
“It has been a while though, since I’ve indulged. And I've never participated frequently.” Every word seems like it’s forced out of Fred’s mouth.
“All this to say, Rafael,” Fred murmurs, inching closer across the sheets, “Is that the problem was never you.”
Rafael gathers him into his arms this time. Fred goes willingly, releasing a heavy, shaky breath and clearly relieved to not be talking about this anymore.
“I know,” Rafael reassures him. “I know it wasn’t me. I was just… I don’t know. I was worried.” He smiles, giving Fred another squeeze. “You’re a delicate little flower Freddie, I want to make sure I don’t trample all over you.”
“Get out of this bed this instant.”
Rafael laughs and they settle down to sleep.
***
The three of them celebrate in Rafael’s tiny Brooklyn apartment when Fred returns from Baltimore. He insists that he wants to cook and, though he had his doubts about his equally minuscule kitchen, manages to turn out an incredible ropa vieja. His mother would be proud.
When the empty plates are discarded on his coffee table, stacked haphazardly and waiting to eventually be washed by whoever loses the inevitable game of ‘who had the harder day’, Rafael sinks back into the couch and smiles benignly basking in the praise of the two of them and their company. Four days is starting to become too long to go between times when they’re all together and though he wants to frown at the unpleasant feeling of missing the both of them when they aren’t around he loves it a little bit as well. Every other wandering thought was of the two of them and he can’t deny that it's nice to feel these first desperate stirrings of a relationship again.
“I don’t know how you made all of that, Rafael. I’m pretty sure my cousin Caroline had a bigger kitchen in her dollhouse.” Fred surprises him when he leans closer to Rafael, snuggling contentedly against him. Rafael had told the third of their little trio that he and Fred had finally slept together--hiding things in a threesome was the quickest way to hurt feelings. Everyone was going to eventually do things without everyone involved and it’s best to just let that out in the open--but he hadn’t expected Fred to offer such casual affection so freely.
Rafael catches her looking at the two of them with a soft smile on her face and returns it with one of his own. She hid it well but she was a little disappointed during their FaceTime when he had warned her that Fred might not be overly demonstrative yet. Rafael knew she felt a little--guilty wasn’t the word she would use, he knew, if he could ever get her to talk about it--uncomfortable about how much more open Fred was with her than he was with Rafael. He loves how hard she tries to remind him that Fred is just anxious, cautious, a little scared. Rafael is a grown man and doesn’t need his hand held, but the fact that she tries to anyways makes his heart feel like it’s growing through his ribcage sometimes.
When Rafael looks back down at Fred he looks like he’s about to fall asleep with his head nuzzled against Rafael’s shoulder. He would describe it as endearing until Fred moves one of his hands high onto Rafael’s thigh. Rafael smirks.
“All it took was one night and he’s already falling for me,” he says to her in a stage whisper. Fred is unfortunately still awake enough to jab Rafael in the ribs, settling down only after the air is knocked out of Rafael’s lungs with an “oof”.
“As long as you remember to invite me to the wedding,” she teases. Rafael watches her duck admirably as Fred throws a cushion at her head.
“You’re supposed to throw a bouquet at me, not a pillow!”
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cumholland · 4 years ago
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Neighbors Part 2
Chapter Two - Designed for You
(Tom Holland x Reader)
a/n: Thank you so much to everyone who loved the first chapter and asked for a second one! Also thank you again to @2018shawn​ for helping me come up with the idea and @moonshineholland​ for proofreading! Chapter 1 here
Summary: After a wrench is thrown into your relationship, will you and Tom be able to handle it or will it force you apart? WC: 9.6k
Warnings: Language, LOTS of smut, angst.
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"I knew it!" Hannah screams into the phone. You had finally told her about the Tom situation after mulling over it for a couple of days. Now you were sitting in Tom's sun lounger by the pool. He was out shooting today but you decided to let yourself in to go for a swim and keep Tessa company. The last time you were over Tom had given you a spare key. Invited you to come at any time you pleased. He especially encouraged you to keep Tessa company as he worried about leaving her alone for too long. After taking for her for a walk, Tessa decided it was time for a much needed nap. With her asleep, you decided to catch up on tanning as well as catch up Hannah on your predicament.
"Don't get too excited, nothing has really happened since then." Ever since that steamy make out session with Tom, the two of you hadn't really talked about it. Tom's hands were all over you for the rest of the night traveling up and down your body, his lips all over your neck. You even fell asleep in his arms, not moving from the couch until almost three in the morning. Eventually, Tessa jumped on the couch, waking you both. Tom headed to bed as he needed to prepare for shooting the next day and you spent the rest of the night back home. Since then you had hung out with Tom once, only having dinner and watching a movie. Now, two days after making out with Tom, you weren't quite sure where he stood on the situation. "We haven't really acknowledged it, I guess," you explain to Hannah.
"Wait, so you're saying you had a lust filled night of passion and now you haven't porked his brains out yet?" Hannah never was one to put a filter on what she was thinking, but when it came to your love life she was especially honest.
You get up and pace around the pool, concrete hot against your bare feet. "It wasn't a lust filled night of passion, Hannah," you start. "All we did was make out. Maybe I'm a bad kisser and that's why he hasn't tried to make another move."
"No way!" Hannah exclaims. "Boys are horndogs, they could be kissing a corpse and still be into it."
"Gross," you interrupt. "Tom isn't like any other guys I've met, Han. He's really sweet and caring and he gets totally flustered any time we get flirty." That was a fact. Tom's face could turn red faster than the blink of an eye, as could yours. Neither of you had been particularly proficient when it came to the art of flirting, but you had mastered the art of making eyes at each other from across the room. It felt like both of you were holding back, and you weren't sure when that dam was going to break. You were almost certain it had when you finally kissed, but maybe not after all.
A bark pulls you from your thoughts. Your head whips back to the house and you see Tessa standing at the back door wanting to join you outside. You jog over to the door and let her out. "What is that?" Hannah asks. "Do I hear a dog?"
"It's Tessa." You had told Hannah about the situation with Tom but you had also left out the part about the spare key, meaning you hadn't told her you were at his house at this very moment either.
"Who's Tessa? Am I being replaced as your best friend?" Hannah says sarcastically. Tessa dances around your feet, whining for attention.
"Han, it's Tom's dog, you literally met her when you came over." You pat Tessa on the head before she takes off.
"Oh yeah... I would have remembered her name if she wasn't asleep the whole time I was there!" she pesters.
"She's a dog," you roll your eyes as if Hannah can see you. "Maybe if-"
"Hold the phone, you're at his house?" She interrupts. "Is he there? Are you about to bone? I'm so confused, please explain." Hannah's thoughts often ran a million miles a minute and today was no exception. You didn't mind though, she was just excited that your love life finally had a spark. You'd been hurt in the past and she knew you weren't the most open and willing when it came to dating. It made you happy that she was ecstatic for you, even when she was a little cavalier about it.
"No, he's on set today. I'm just hanging out with Tessa and sunbathing. He gave me a spare key, it isn't a big deal." It wasn't a big deal, really, but you knew Hannah could go on about that one for hours. "I'm just hanging out here until he's back and then maybe I'll try to talk to him about the - uh - incident."
"You mean your tongue down his throat? That incident?" She pesters.
"Yes, that one," you say, rolling your eyes. You settle onto the sun lounger again, just now noticing Tessa digging around in the garden. "Tess! Get out of there, I'm not giving you another bath today."
"I wanna hear whatever details you have after tonight," Hannah insists. "And we need to hang out soon, I miss you."
"I promise, Han, we'll hang out soon." You tuck your phone under the cushion and pull out your sunscreen to apply another layer, but the only thing on your mind is what you want to say to Tom when he's back.
When Tom finally arrives back home it's almost 10 pm. You spent the rest of the afternoon working on homework while Tessa kept herself occupied with a toy. You fed her at dinnertime and made yourself a sandwich. Waiting for Tom made the minutes feel like hours, each one dragging longer than the last. You were antsy for him to come back, but at least the longer it took him to come back, the longer you could put off talking to him about your feelings.
That kiss had left you reeling, even more so than you thought it would. After confessing to Hannah, the scene kept replaying in your head. Every time you forced it out of your mind, that feeling of Tom's hands on your bare skin would pull you back in and you'd be caught up daydreaming about the way his tongue had slid into your mouth. Your hand is gripping your thigh, heat building between your legs just thinking about it. You bury your head in your hands and rub your eyes as if you can rub away the thoughts of Tom in your head. Before you get too caught up again you hear the sound of the garage door opening. Tom's home.
Tessa makes a break for the door and whines until Tom finally opens it. He's got a big bag of takeout in his hands and heads straight for the kitchen, Tessa still sniffing and dancing around his shoes. "I didn't think you'd still be here," he calls over from the island. You make your way from the living room to the kitchen, joining him in the brightly lit room.
"I would've made you dinner if I had known what time you were gonna be back but I wasn't sure." You had texted Tom earlier in the day but he hadn't responded until he was already done on set for the day. By then you had already eaten dinner and you didn't even have time to prep anything for him anyway.
"That's alright love, I was in the mood for shitty takeout anyway." You try to smile but you just scrunch up your mouth instead. All that confidence you had about confronting Tom melts away at the sight of him. He looks a little disheveled, probably just from a long day of work. It seems almost silly now, like bringing up the situation would just annoy him. You decide to bite your tongue and keep it to yourself for now. What's waiting until he has a day off? It wouldn't hurt anything.
Tom looks tired and a little annoyed so you want to be out of his space. "Um, I think I'm just gonna go, I'll let you have some peace and quiet," you say. It was probably nothing, but you wanted to give him his privacy, this was his house after all. "I was just keeping Tessa company anyway."
"You should stay," Tom says abruptly. He doesn't look up from his food, twirling the lo mein around with his fork.
"Are you sure?" You ask, testing the waters. "I don't mind going, I have some homework to do anyway." That was a lie, but if it makes Tom feel better, it made you feel better.
"It was just a long day. The director was really pushing me and I was getting frustrated. It isn't a big deal," Tom explains. He finally looks up at you, the bags under his eyes dark. "You don't have to stay if you don't want to." Tom's eyes are dark and heavy, lids almost swollen. It just now registers that he might've been crying. Frustrated at the very least.
"I know," you say softly, almost whispering. You stop for a minute, looking him up and down. His eyes are trained on his food, his usual cheery demeanor almost entirely absent. He tosses a noodle down and Tessa gobbles it up.
"I'll share my lo mein if you stay," Tom murmurs, finally looking up from his food. You let out a soft chuckle and take a seat next to Tom. He passes over his fork to you and for the first time since he got home, a smile appears on his face. It's a gentle half-smile, but a smile nonetheless. You twirl some noodles onto the fork and bring it to your mouth.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" You ask through a mouthful of noodles.
Tom just shakes his head. "I'd rather hear about what my two girls did today." Tessa's ears perk up at that. She pretends to look to the side away from Tom, pretending like she isn't begging for food.
"Well, it was a pretty relaxed day," you start. "I swam in the pool for a bit and did my homework. Tess tore up another toy." You nod over to the living room, stuffing from the toy littering the ground.
"I'm starting to think you're just using me for my pool," Tom jokes.
"Of course! I don't know what else you thought this was," you joke, hitting his shoulder. "My friend Hannah thinks it's weird, me being at your house all day."
"It is weird," Tom affirms. "It isn't really the most typical of friendships, but I like you, so why not hang out with you instead of being alone? Same goes for Tess, I'm sure she's a lot happier not being alone all day." The statement dances around in your head for a moment. Specifically the word 'friendship' along with 'I like you' storms around in your head. Thomas was good at a lot of things but sending mixed signals was maybe his best talent. "Do you think if I lay on the ground Tess will walk on my back and give me a massage? I'm sore as fuck from stunts today."
"Um," you chuckle, eyebrows scrunched together. "Yeah, I'm not quite sure she's capable of doing that." You let that linger in the air for a moment before blurting out "I could give you a massage, maybe. If you want or whatever?" "Yeah?" He asks, eyes finally meeting yours. "I'll take what I can get."
"Really?" You accidentally blurt. It wasn't like you didn't want to do it but you didn't expect him to actually take you up on it.
"What? Are you too shy?" He cracks. "We've already made out, I hardly think a massage is that scandalous." Your cheeks immediately flush with red, your palms becoming sweaty. This is the first time he's mentioned the make out incident since it happened. He doesn't even look phased as he continues to scarf down the noodles.
"I guess you're right," you hum, fingertips buzzing from the thought of touching Tom. You leave Tom at the island and go back to the living room, Tessa following behind you. You move the coffee table out of the way and set up a blanket and pillow for Tom to lay on.
Tom joins you in the living room, setting his takeout on the coffee table you pushed aside. "Nice set up," he says, examining the space you have laid out. He takes his shirt off and tosses it on to the couch and lays down on the floor on his stomach. Your eyes are like saucers. You had expected this to be a 'through the clothes' kind of massage but you weren't about to ask him to get dressed. You eye him up and down, eyes raking over his back muscles down to the Calvin Klein waistband peeking out from his jeans. Before you even touch him Tessa has gotten up from her bed and is now trying to lick Tom's face off. "Tess!" Tom whines. He gets up and takes her out back, shutting the door so the two of you will be uninterrupted. Tom is back on his stomach so you wordlessly drop to your knees by his side. The tips of your fingers meet his skin, warm and firm. You slowly move your hands up his spine, slowly palming his tense back. You feel him laugh under your hands. "Your hands are so cold, darling," he teases.
"Give it a minute," you say, lightly slapping his back and pretending to hit him. Your hands continue across his shoulders, where he is most tense. Your thumbs dig into the muscle, and Tom moans under you. You dig your thumbs into the same spot again.
"Fuck," he moans again. "You can go harder, I won't break I promise." You weren't exactly trying to be gentle, but it was hard to put your weight into it when you were arched over his side.
"Okay," you start "I just have to...," you trail off as you swing your leg over his waist and you're now straddling him. Tom lets out a soft laugh, but you don't acknowledge it. Now with better leverage, you dig back into his shoulders. Tom's smile is wiped off his face and is replaced with a look of ecstasy as he lets out a long moan.
"Shit," Tom gasps through another moan. "What did you just hit?"
"I guess you have a g-spot in your shoulders." This makes the both of you laugh. You bring your hands down to his shoulder blades and start massaging the muscle that surrounds the area. Tom had some bruising on his back from his stunt work so you didn't want to get too rough with him. Tom moans into the pillow, this time lower and drawn out. "Geez, I hope the neighbors don't hear this, it sounds quite sexual."
"It's better than sex," Tom mutters.
"Oh?"
"Not really, but it's a close second." He turns his head and looks back at you over his shoulder giving you that killer smile. You work your hands lower again, reaching the small of his back. "Am I getting an ass massage too? My glutes are sore from all the running I had to do on set today."
"In your dreams, Holland," you roll your eyes.
"Fine, fine, what about a happy ending?" Tom starts laughing before he can even finish his joke.
"Once again, in your dreams," you tease him, although for a second it crosses your mind that something like that might be in your dreams too. You massage all the way down Tom's back and all the way up to the top again. After about a half hour of massaging Tom, you finally crawl off his back and sit on the floor next to him. Tom's eyes are closed and he's half asleep from the relaxing massage. "Alright, my fingers are about to fall off." Tom slowly flips over onto his back. Your eyes dart to the bulge in his jeans. He isn't totally hard, but he at least has a semi. He doesn't seem to notice or acknowledge it as he rubs his eyes. "What? Only the back side? What about the front?" He teases again.
"You're not getting a happy ending!" You exclaim.
"That isn't even what I meant," Tom says through his grin. "My chest is sore from pull ups and I paid for the full experience!" You shoot him a confused look. "I gave you lo mein, duh."
"Tom, I had like two bites!"
"Yeah! One bite for the back and one for the front!" Tom takes your hand and brings it to his chest.
"Have I told you that you're annoying?" You badger him, caving in to his request. With your hands on his chest, you move your palms in slow circular motions, hands traveling from his chest to his shoulders. You can feel Tom looking at you so you meet his gaze. With Tom facing you everything feels a lot more intimate. You feel every inch of your skin connected to his, the heat radiating from his body to your hands. Tom licks his lips and all you can think about is kissing them again. Before you even know what you're doing you're crawling on top of him and straddling him again. "Um... leverage," is all you can stutter out. Your cheeks are flushed pink but so are Tom's. His eyes travel down your body before slowly grazing back up. Your eyes meet again. Your hands are on his chest, legs around his waist. You're riding him.
Well, sort of. You can feel his bulge pressed against your ass now, straining against his jeans. His hands come up to your waist, taking a firm hold on you. Without a second thought, you bring your face to his, lips crashing again his. Tom captures your bottom lip with his teeth, teasing you before slipping his tongue into your mouth. He traces over your lips before gliding his tongue over yours, flicking against you. Your kisses become needier, filled with lust and desire. Your noses bump together, trying to melt into one another as deep as you can go. Tom pulls your body flush against him, every part of you now rubbing together. Tom's hands explore your back, hands traveling up the back of your shirt. You bring your hands to his face, capturing his strong jaw. Tom consumes you, surrounds you with himself. From his hands on you to his tongue tracing your teeth, you feel yourself falling into him. His breath is warm, spilling into your mouth, his mouth now traveling down your neck. Tom moans against your neck, his guttural groans sending shivers down your spine, you can feel yourself getting wet. You gasp, fingers catching in Tom's hair, slowly grinding your body against his. You bring your lips to his about to press them against his again but then...
Both of you hear a whining followed by a bark. Tessa wants back inside. "She'll be fine," Tom says, his lips returning to your neck.
"No, it's fine, we don't make her stay outside. It's not like there aren't other places we can make out," you say as you get off of him, standing up. "Besides, when was the last time you even vacuumed?"
"Not since I moved in," Tom says as you go to the back door to let Tessa in. She trots into the living room, ignoring Tom and going straight for the lo mein, burying her nose in the takeout container. "Tess!" Tom chides her. "No, nasty!" Tom drags her by the collar away from the food. You can't help yourself but giggle at how things went from you on top of Tom to Tessa stealing his food. "Go on, go put yourself in timeout!" Tessa's head hangs as she slowly walks up the stairs.
"Aw, c'mon Tom she just wanted a bite! Plus you deserve it, you locked her outside."
"Whatever," Tom says as he rolls his eyes, taking his food to the trash can to throw away. Finally, with a moment to breathe, you check your phone. It's nearing midnight and you have some work to get done tomorrow.
"I should probably get going, I have to be up in the morning and it's getting a bit late." Tom looks at you with those puppy dog eyes that he has perfected but all he does is nod. He walks you to the door and gives you a soft kiss on the cheek.
"Will I see you tomorrow?" He asks.
"Yeah, sure," you smile at him before returning the kiss, this time on his lips. "See you tomorrow, Tom."
The next day it was around 7:30 pm and the sun was already beginning to set. After a long day of working from your computer, you were ready to throw in the towel. After taking a bath, you decide to text Tom and ask if he is almost home from set. It isn't until 9:00 pm when he finally responds. Just got home. Come over. Without a second thought, you get dressed and walk over to his house. As soon as your knuckles meet the dark wood of his front door, it opens to Tom's face, brightly lit with a smile. "Miss me?" Tessa comes running out the front door and sniffing at your feet.
"Tessa clearly missed me," you say, flashing a smile back at Tom.
"I missed you more," he says as he moved out of the doorframe and motions for you to come in.
"Were things easier on set today?" After how run down he looked the other day, you were hoping he was still feeling okay after another long day.
"Not too bad. Nothing a genius like me can't handle," he says as he ruffles his hair.
"I guess that explains why your head is so big."
"What!" Tom shouts, cocking his head at you. Tom grabs you around the shoulders and starts messing up your hair.
"I'm kidding, you dork!" You tell him, grabbing a hold of his arm, all too aware of the muscles underneath his soft skin. Tom releases you from his strong grasp. "Your head is perfectly average sized."
"Thank you!"
"Your ego on the other hand," you start. Tom's eyes widen again, ready to lunge at you. "Kidding again!"
"You better be," he jokes, pulling you in close again. This time his hands are wrapped around your waist, head tilted over yours. He brings his face to yours, closing the distance, lips meeting again. So this is what you were now? Intimate. More than friends. Nothing was set in stone, making you all the more nervous. You move your lips against his, falling into his kiss once again. Once you pull away you smile at him, but Tom can tell there's something off about the look on your face. "Is everything okay?" He asks, hands falling off your waist.
"I just... um," you start, shaking your head. "I hate to sound so cliche but what are we?"
"Friends?" Tom says, a confused look on his face. You return the confused look back.
"Just friends?" "Well, um, special friends," Tom clarifies. Clarifies in a way that clarities absolutely nothing. You take a step away from him.
"What does that mean exactly?" You look deep in to Tom's eyes. It's hard to tell what he's thinking.
He's wearing his glasses today making him look cute as ever. His hands are pulled tight by his sides, clearly showing he's a little on edge. "I guess I don't know exactly." Tom leans against the counter, putting a little more space between the two of you. "I just...," Tom trails off. "I can't really be in a relationship right now."
"What? Why?" You demand, the edge in your voice all too clear. You don't mean to sound pushy or even sound angry, but having your emotions toyed with is something you've never put up with. Knowing your worth has always been important to you and you didn't like to play games. You and Tom had been flirty from the start, so there was obviously something between you. In a matter of seconds, every interaction you've had with Tom flies through your head, analyzing everything from mixed signals, missed opportunities, to your especially erotic massage make out session last night. Had you missed something? What weren't you getting? What wasn't Tom getting?
Tom's mouth hangs open for a second as he tries to articulate what he's thinking. The seconds stretch out in front of you, feeling like years. "I'm not gonna be here forever," he starts. "I'm constantly going back and forth between places. In two months, once I'm done with this shoot, I'll be back in London for who knows how long." You feel the ground start shifting under you as Tom talks. Tom, the guy you had been slowly developing feelings for no matter how hard you tried not too. Tom, the guy who was jaw droppingly gorgeous and the sweetest gentleman you've ever met. Tom, the guy who didn't want to date you.
You try to muster up a response but you have no idea what to say. Now it's your turn for your mouth to hang up. "I guess I don't know what to say." "You don't have to say anything," Tom says, closing the distance between you, wrapping his arms around you again. "Why do we even need to have a label on it? Why can't we just enjoy each other's company? I've loved spending time with you and I don't want that to change."
"But...," you start.
"But I just can't have a relationship right now, love." Tom places a kiss on your forehead. I have to be a million places all over the world as soon as press for my next movie starts. It would just make it harder on both of us and I can't do that to you. I can't promise you something when I know it isn't going to work out." You do your best to suppress rolling your eyes. After all this time of being a total gentleman, now he wants to be a fuckboy like every other guy in California? Hannah would definitely be hearing about this later.
"Sure," you say bluntly. You were irritated and you just wanted the conversation to be over. If Tom didn't want a girlfriend then fine, you wouldn't push the envelope, but you wouldn't let him play with your emotions either.
"Please, don't be mad at me-"
"I'm not," you interrupt. "I guess I'm just disappointed. Let's just drop it." You cross your arms and lean against the counter.
Tom crosses his arms too and stays silent for a moment. "I'm sorry," he mumbles. "I can't lead you on I couldn't keep that from you."
"It's fine," you reiterate. "It's whatever. I'm glad you told me." You really were glad he told he told you. Glad you could keep yourself from getting more hung up on him. You uncross your arms to keep yourself from looking too upset. "So what's the plan? Are you making me dinner or do I have to do everything around here?" There was a stillness and a comfort around you. Without worrying about a potential relationship you could just enjoy yourself, right?
Tom cracks a small smile of that, breaking through the troubled look on his face. "How about I buy you takeout instead." You jokingly roll your eyes, making fun of his inability to cook.
Friends. There was nothing wrong with friends. Watching Tom as he grabbed his phone to order food, you thought to yourself that there were plenty more fish in the sea.
"I don't think I'm understanding," Hannah ranted. You texted her as soon as you got back from Tom's and she immediately made plans to come over the next day. Now the two of you were laying in your room listening to music as you so often did before you started spending so much time at Tom's house.
You pull your blanket over your head, groaning into the soft covers. "I don't even know why I got so invested. I'm sorry I haven't been around as much, I shouldn't have let trying to get with Tom take up so much of my time."
"Don't say that!" Hannah asserts. "You're still in desperate need of dick and it doesn't always just come to you, you have to put in work for it sometimes!"
"But I didn't even get any!" You whine. "Besides that wasn't what I was going for! Haven't you ever heard of happily ever after?" "My happily ever after includes me getting good dick." While Hannah is talking you get up from your bed and go over to your bay window, sitting down on the cushions. "His dick isn't even off the table either, hun. I know it isn't exactly what you were hoping for but you don't have to go back to the nunnery just yet." "I think that's called a convent," you tease. Hannah always knew how to make you smile even when you were feeling down. Hannah sits up from the bed and joins you at the window. You look over at Tom's backyard to see him coming outside with a towel, about to go for a swim. "Listen, boys change up like the weather all the time. They never know what they want and they're always changing their minds. It doesn't matter if you and Tom aren't destined to be together, just have some fun." Hannah grabs your hands, pulling you close. "I know you're never satisfied with guys and they're always letting you down, but you've been the happiest hanging out with Tom than you have been in a while. You don't have to totally cut him out just because he's a little bit of a douche. We already knew that hun, he's a guy they're all dicks."
You let out a soft laugh and nod. Hannah had a point. She always did, she was too smart for her own good. "I'm not gonna tell you you're right because you already know you are."
"Of course I'm right, babes," Hannah says as she hugs you. "Have some fun, let loose! You practically wet yourself when you made out with him. It's up to you, hun, do whatever you want. Do you know what you want?"
You look out to Tom's yard and watch as he dives headfirst into the pool. Dating Tom might not be in your future, but there was obviously something between you. Did you know what you wanted?
You took a few days to yourself to think about your situation. Tom had been texting you but your responses were inconsistent and sporadic. He asked you to come over more than once but you told him you were busy or had plans with Hannah, which wasn't technically lying as Hannah had come over for a few nights to watch movies. Now, it was the weekend and you had spent most of the day laying in bed. Tom was at work but you had texted him and asked to come over later. He replied almost instantly with an absolutely. Tom didn't seem to be upset with you even though you pulled had a bit of a disappearing act. He could probably imagine how confused you had been over the past few days. But you weren't confused anymore. Tom was just a boy and you were just a girl. And you were just a girl wanting to let loose.
You found yourself in Tom's living room once more. Tom was on one side of the couch and you were on the other. It had felt a bit awkward since you had come over, but the conversation had been flowing as usual. You had fallen back into your typical poking fun at each other banter and Tom had put on some shitty horror movie. "Why do you always have to put on shitty movies like this, why can't we watch a good one?"
"Well if it's a shitty movie then we can make fun of it. We always end up talking over it anyway," he explains.
"Then why don't you put on music or something, dummy," you tease.
"Fine!" Tom caves in. He turns off the movie and pulls up Spotify on the TV, turning on one of his playlists. "Alright missy, you got your wish, now what do you want to talk about."
"First we can talk about how Chris Evans is so much hotter than you," you joke. Tom tosses a pillow at your face but you smack it out of the way before it hits you. "I'm kidding Mr. Holland, you're the hottest superhero."
"Damn right," Tom says, smile proud on his face. You roll your eyes at that.
Would now be a good time to ask him? runs through your head. You've thought about it for days now, so why pussy out? It's just a few simple words. "Tom, I...," you trailed off.
"Huh?"
"I, um... ," you started again. "Um, do you have any snacks?"
"Oh, uh, yeah," Tom says as he got up from the couch. He disappeared into the kitchen to grab whatever the fuck he thought you wanted. Shit was all you could think. You always froze up at the last second, always too scared to shoot your shot. After a minute, Tom came back with an assortment of snacks. He dropped the pile of snacks on the couch next to you and took a seat on the other side. "Plenty?" Tom asks as he digs his hand into a bag of chips.
"Yeah," you start again. "Actually, um, I meant to ask about the other day." Tom looks up from his chips, mouth full and his loud crunching distracting you. He doesn't interrupt, just keeps looking at you. "About the relationship thing..."
"Hun, I-"
"You're not looking for a relationship," you interrupt him. "That's fine, I know, but... why don't we just... have fun then?" Tom studies your face for a minute. His eyebrows are scrunched together and the look of confusion takes over his face.
"I'm sorry," he starts. "What exactly are you asking?"
Hannah's words fly through your head: just have fun. "Fun, like I said," you say, looking him in the eyes, his tight knit eyebrows slowly coming undone. "No strings attached."
"Friends with benefits?" Tom asks.
"Exactly," you explain. "You don't want a relationship and I don't want to get my feelings hurt. But that doesn't mean I'm not still... attracted to you." Tom keeps his eyes trained on you, watching you as he chews on his bottom lip. "You can say no, I'm just thinking out loud."
"Are you sure?" He asks. You weren't fully sure of yourself, but these days you often weren't. The world kept going even when you were standing still, so what was the point in waiting around to question yourself any longer?
"Yes," you blurt. "We have a good thing going for us already, I mean. And we're both adults with needs so... why not?" The silence hangs in the air for another moment, the atmosphere in the room warm and still. Your hands are clammy and your face is definitely on fire. You weren't often bold like this and it was a new sensation to you.
"Well then... why not?" Tom finally says. "I mean, I'm not exactly sure how to go about this I guess."
You weren't exactly sure how this would go either. Or even how it would start. "We can just let things happen organically and see what happens."
Tom nodded, tossing the bag of chips aside. "So we can make out now?" He looked like an eager kid in a candy store.
You laughed at him and rolled your eyes. "I said organically, Thomas."
After talking to Tom about the new aspects of your friendship, you decided to turn the shitty horror movie back on to fill the silence while you retreated into your thoughts. It was hard to tell what Tom was thinking and it made you more nervous that he might be thinking this was a bad idea. He seemed excited enough, but your doubts had a way of getting the better of you. You were so shrouded in your thoughts you hadn't even noticed the movie was over. "Not as shitty as the last one but still pretty shitty," Tom commented.
"I get to pick the movie next time," you declared.
Tom laid down on the couch, using your lap as a pillow. "My taste is immaculate, don't be jealous." You rolled your eyes at that one. "Have I ever told you how gorgeous you are?"
"I think so. Every night before I go to bed you tell me I'm gorgeous and the most important woman in the world," you pester him.
"No, that's Tess," he says laughing.
"Whatever," you roll your eyes.
"You are gorgeous though," he says again. "I know I've put you in a complicated situation and all, but you're the fittest girl I've ever met. You're stunning and you're way smarter than me."
"Clearly," you tease him again.
"And I'm not just complimenting you to get in your pants, I really mean it," Tom says. "I just... are you really sure about this?" Tom looks into your eyes. His eyes are soft in gentle. Everything about him is soft and gentle. He's so sweet and compassionate and caring that you start to feel your doubts melt away. Maybe you weren't making the right decision, but it was a decision that still made you happy. You push him off your lap and force him to sit up. Before he can say anything else, you press your lips against his. It's softer than your last kiss, this one more gentle and subdued. Your lips move in sync, pushing into one another, slow and passionate like you have all the time in the world. Tom runs his hands through your hair, pulling you into him.
Tom pulls back for a second to look at you. "Is this okay?" He asks, voice heavy with desire. You nod your head and lean back in, lips meeting his again. You deepen this kiss this time, slipping your tongue into his mouth. Tom's breathing is getting heavier by the second as the kiss becomes more intense. His hands find your waist, pulling you closer until he has you in his lap. You wrap your arms around his neck as you straddle him. Your tongue slides against his, teeth clashing as the kiss becomes sloppier. Tom pulls away again, this time his lips shiny and starting to redden from your lips hungrily attacking each other. "Should we take this upstairs?" His voice is low and gruff, saturated with lust. You try your best to formulate words but all you can is nod your head.
Tom leads you up the stairs. He brings you to his bedroom, which you haven't been in since the first night you came to Tom's house. He closes the door behind you and dims the lights, giving the room a soft, sensual glow. Tom backs you up against the edge of the bed and you let yourself fall back onto it. Tom crawls on top of you, kissing up your neck as he comes back to your lips.
Your hands find their way under his shirt, slowly traveling up his back. Tom breaks to kiss to take his shirt off, pulling it over his head. You watch as his abdomen muscles ripple as he moves before his mouth is all over yours again. You can already feel the heat building between your legs, the wetness forming as your desire for Tom burns like a wildfire. He kisses back down your neck to your collarbone until his lips meet the fabric of your shirt. "Can I take it off you?" He asks, looking up at you. His puppy dog eyes now taking a different form, something more raw and needy.
You sit up as Tom grabs the hem of your shirt, pulling it over top of your head. "I don't think I've ever told you how great your tits are," Tom teases.
"Shut up," you laugh, shaking your head at him. You unclasp your bra, letting it slide off your shoulders. Tom's mouth practically gapes at the sight of your bare breasts.
"Wow," is all he can muster. You giggle at him as you back your way to the top of the bed, Tom following right behind you. With you on your back, he crawls between your legs, wrapping them around his waist. He slowly grinds his body against yours and you can feel his erection through his sweatpants. You palm his bulge, feeling the harness through the fabric. Tom moans into your mouth as his tongue meets yours again, warm breaths exchanged between you. Tom begins to slide down, his bare skin against yours as he goes. He kisses a trail down your neck before choosing a spot to slowly lick and caress with his tongue, gently sucking in a way that will be sure to leave a mark. His hands find your breasts, taking a handful and slowly rubbing them and creating friction against your nipples. A gentle moan leaves your lips, giving Tom the green light to let him know that you love what he's doing. After he's satisfied with the mark he's left on your neck he lowers his face to your tits, his tongue finding the nipple. Tom gently begins to suck and graze his teeth of your sensitive nipples, now hard from Tom's work. This time you let out a louder moan, knotting your fingers into Tom's hair as his warm, wet tongue focuses on your erogenous zone. Tom moves to the other side, his tongue lashing at the tender skin, driving you crazy before you're even fully undressed.
"Fuck, Tom," you let out a breathy moan. He looks up at you, nipple in his mouth and lets out a low moan. You bite your lip at the sexy sight of him. While Tom is still working on you, you start to wiggle out of your pants, unbuttoning and unzipping them with one hand. Tom notices you struggling and helps slide them off of you. With his warm mouth gone, the cold air hits your skin where he has left it wet with his tongue.
With your pants gone, you're left only in your underwear, and Tom looks captivated by the sight. "You're so fucking sexy, love," Tom practically moans. He positions his head between your thighs and kisses each one, licking his way back up. His mouth meets the fabric of your panties and he lets out a hot breath that breaks through the thin fabric. By now you're practically soaked from anticipation, desperately aching to feel his tongue on you. Tom hooks his fingers across the fabric, moving it to the side without taking them off. He licks a tantalizing slow strip up your slit, his tongue finding it's way between your slit, enveloping him in your heat. "So fucking wet for me," he moans against you. Tom's mouth feels like heaven against you, his soft lips rubbing against you, his tongue working it's way in and out of you, gliding up and down your slit. Tom grabs your ass, slightly lifting you off the bed to slide your panties down to your ankles. He spreads your legs as far apart as he can before his head finds it's place between your legs again. His lips wrap around your clit, slowly licking against the nub before grazing his teeth against it. You involuntarily gasp for air and moan, throwing your head back against the pillow as your hips buck up against his tongue. You look back down to watch Tom as he gently assaults your clit with his tongue, eyes trained on you. "Keep your eyes on me," Tom murmurs against you.
"O-okay," you manage to get out between moans. It had been a while since a guy had gone down on you but this was already a million times better than you had ever had before. Tom lets out a gentle puff of air onto your sensitive, throbbing clit. You struggle to keep your eyes open, watching Tom as he expertly works every inch of you. Your hand finds it's way to his hair again, your fingers threading through his hair, keeping his head in place. Tom's head is moving up and down now, his tongue traveling over your soaked folds. Tom has one hand on your thigh keeping you spread open as he moves the other one to hover over your clit. As his head moves down further, his thumb takes the place of his tongue, now rubbing your clit in circles.
Tom moans against you again, sending deep vibrations into you that you feel in your core. "You taste so fucking good," he groans.
"Please, fuck, please," you moan. "More." Your hips are slowly bucking in rhythm with his tongue, your juices flowing from how turned on you are. "Fuck," you gasp. "Please... fingers." Tom wordlessly responds. He lifts his head up spitting onto your opening, saliva and your juices dripping from his lips. It's messy and sloppy and probably the hottest thing you've ever seen. Tom uses his spit and your wetness to easily slide his index finger inside you. "Fucking hell," you gasp. You sit up on your elbows to get a better view of Tom as his tongue travels back to your clit, as he buries a second finger inside you. "Tom, fuck!" You cry out. Tom curls his fingers inside you, pumping them in and out, quickly picking up the pace. The faster he goes, the more stars that start to appear in your vision. "Tom, I'm getting close," you warn. You feel your body begin to get warm all over, that pit of pleasure building in your stomach. Tom begins to pick up the pace of his fingering, his tongue lapping aggressively at your clit, swirling around it and gently biting it. "Fuck, fuck!" You scream as your body starts to fall to pieces. You feel your orgasm wash over you, starting in the pit of your stomach and reaching all the way to the tips of your toes and back up. A sob escapes your throat as your toes curl and the orgasm finished wracking through your body. "Holy shit, Tom, where'd you learn to do that?"
"Practice," he says, flashing that cheeky smile at you. Although this time he has your juices drenching his lips and chin. Tom comes up from beneath your legs, planting a wet kiss on your lips. You can taste yourself on his lips but that seems to only turn you on more.
You pull away and give him a devilish grin. "My turn?"
"You're naughty," he teases. "But absolutely," Tom crawls off of you and falls beside you on his back, putting a pillow behind him to prop himself up. His hard on is still raging through his sweatpants, a small patch of precum leaking through the grey fabric. Fuck, his bulge looks big. You run your hand across his bulge, palming at his hard member. Tom hooks his thumbs over his waistband and slides his sweatpants down, cock smacking against his stomach as it jumps out from his underwear. His cock is long and hard, precum dripping from the tip. His cock is red and straining, throbbing from how excited he is. Without hesitation, you grab his cock, slowly pumping the thick meat. You rub your thumb against the head, spreading the precum over it and dragging it down his shaft. "Fuck, baby," Tom moans, head falling back against the headboard. You tease his cock, jerking him off at a tantalizingly slow pace, letting the tension build.
After teasing him with your hand, you bring your mouth down to the head of his cock and flick your tongue against it. Tom lets out a breathy moan and tangles his fingers into your hair, pushing your head down with a bit of force. You take the head into your mouth, tongue finding the sensitive spot under the tip. Tom's cock was already hard but you felt it grow rock hard in your mouth, his pre cum leaking into your mouth now, hot and salty. You bob your head up and down, opening your throat up for him. "Your mouth feels so fucking good," Tom pants, thrusting his hips up into your mouth. You grab his balls, slowly tugging at them and working them around with your fingers until his cock is buried entirely down your throat. Tears escape your eyes but you keep yourself from gagging, pulling off his cock. You lick a stripe up his shaft and back down, taking a second to play with his balls in your mouth, tongue traveling around his sack. You take his cock down into your mouth again and he thrusts up into your throat. Tom pushes you down further onto his cock, fucking your mouth. You gag a couple of times before you get the hang of it, but once you do Tom is thrusting into your throat with ease.
Tom's breathing is heavy and labored as he breaks out into a sweat. He raises up his hand, bringing it down on your ass, causing a loud smack, leaving a red hand print on your ass. "Open your legs for me, baby," he commands. You do as he says and he leans forward so he can reach you, his long fingers finding their way in your slit again. He collects your wetness and brings it to your mouth. You open up for him and taste yourself on him, your tongue dancing around his fingers. You moan onto his fingers before he pushes you back down onto his cock again. He leans forward again, this time his fingers meeting your entrance, sliding into you to the knuckle. He fingers you fast and rough, the sounds of your wetness turning him on even more.
"I can't take it any longer I need to be inside you now," Tom demands, standing up on the bed as you pull off of his cock. "Get on your hands and knees." You do as he says, positioning yourself on the edge of the bed. He gets on his knees, his face in line with your dripping pussy. He buries his face in it, tongue licking it's way through your folds, making you gasp and scream with pleasure.
"Fuck!" You moan, burying your face into his duvet. "Tom, it feels so fucking good!" As you're gasping into the pillow, Tom gets up from his knees and lines the head of his cock up with your entrance, slapping his head against your soaked folds. You bite your lip and push your hips back against him, begging to feel the fullness of his cock inside you. 
Tom teases you with his cock, holding your hips in place, making you wait and beg for him to give you what you want. "You want more?" All you can muster is a moan as you push against him harder. He slides the head inside you, slowly opening up your entrance. "So fucking tight."
"Oh, fuuuck!" You cry out, mouth hanging open as he slides another inch inside. He slides in until he's halfway in and you can feel yourself stretching around him, the heat of your tight walls adjusting to his size. "Tom, please," you hiss. "More, please." Tom adheres to your begs, sliding in the rest of his cock with a quick, hard stroke, balls slapping against you. "Ah, fuck, Tom!" You moan, gasps and hisses falling from your mouth. You try to form a sentence, tell him you love it, tell him it feels fucking amazing, tell him his cock is bringing you the most pleasure you've ever felt, but all you can muster is garbled moans and cries.
Tom starts pumping in and out of you, faster and faster, his hips slapping against yours. You can feel his cock throbbing inside you, his rhythm steady and consistent as he fills you up. Tom grabs you by the hair and pulls you up, your bodies flush against each other. He buries his face in your neck, licking and sucking on the mark he already left on you, the skin still sensitive from the earlier assault. Tom's hand travels down to your now easily accessible clit, his index and middle finger rubbing in circles in time with the rhythm of his thrusts. "You're so fucking wet... dripping down my cock," Tom grunts through gritted teeth. "Fucking hell, your pussy was made for me."
Tom pulls out of you and spins you around then pushes you back on the bed. He crawls between your legs and lifts them onto his shoulders, centering his cock with your entrancing and sliding his entire length back into with a resounding thrust. "Fuck!" You cry out, grabbing hold of his arms, feeling the veins that wrap around his muscles under the soft skin. Tom immediately picks the pace back up, the bed squeaking and shaking from the ferocity of his fucking.
"Play with yourself, I wanna see you touch your clit while I'm fucking you," Tom orders. Your hand flies down to your clit, fingers toying with yourself. It feels even better with him inside you, every thrust sending a shockwave to your core.
You throw your head back, letting your body succumb to the pleasure. "Tom! Fuck I can't...," you trail off. You try to warn Tom that he's getting you close, bringing you closer to the edge with every thrust, but the pleasure has left you unable to form words. Tom brings your legs down from his shoulders and wraps them around his waist. Tom lays his body across yours, bare skin rubbing against bare skin, gliding over the other from sweat. Tom wraps one arm behind your head, bringing your face together, lips meeting as he buries his cock deep inside you, the head rubbing against your sweet spot as he slowly grinds his hips against yours, hitting that spot deep inside you over and over. "Tom!" You moan into his mouth. You feel the pressure building in your stomach each time he buries himself deeper. You grab his hand from your waist and push it to your clit, begging him to give you your release. Tom gets the memo and starts to rub your clit in circles with the rough pad of his thumb.
"Such a dirty girl for me," he moans into your mouth. You feel your body start to convulse. You grab on to his shoulders, your walls closing in around him. Tom picks up the pace of his thrusting, burying his cock as deep inside you as he can, working on your clit harder, collecting your wetness on his fingers to use on your clit.
"Tom," you gasp. "Fuck, don't stop!" Your hips buck and your legs shake, Tom hitting your sweet spot as you feel the pressure release. The pleasure washes over you, your mouth hanging open as guttural moans escape your mouth. You close your eyes, stars swirling around your vision as you feel your orgasm reaching it's peak. Tom knows what he's doing to you and he's loving every second, feeling your walls tighten on his cock, feeling your body shake in his hands as he pushes you over the point of no return. You buck your hips onto his cock, riding out the waves of your orgasm as you start coming down.
Tom gives you a few more thrusts before he grunts in your ear, his thrusts becoming short and hard as his body tenses up. He lets out a final groan before his pulsing cock begins to spurt his ribbons of cum inside you, holding your hips steady as he realizes inside you. "Fuck!" He grunts through gritted teeth. "Fucking hell," he moans, pumping inside you, his spent cock throbbing and twitching, fucking the cum out of you, letting it drip from your opening. Tom's mouth meets yours again, tongues intertwining as you pant and moan into each other's mouths, hardly able to move from how spent the both of you are.
Breathing heavy, the air hot and sticky, Tom is the first to break the post-orgasm silence. "I can't even remember the last time I came that hard," he smiles, breaking out into a laugh.
You bury your head into your hands, hiding your face from him. "So we really did that, huh?" You peek out through your fingers to see him flash that cheeky grin at you. You start laughing and shaking your head. "Such a dork."
"A dork who made you cum harder than you ever have before," he teases, leaving one final kiss to your neck. You roll your eyes at that, even though it was the truth.
Tom gets up from the bed to grab a towel from the bathroom. He turns on the shower before coming back, placing a towel beside you. "So," he starts. "Again tomorrow?"
"Obviously," you giggle, flashing him a devilish smile. Oh boy, what had you gotten yourself into?
Taglist: @hollanddolanfangirl​ @quaksvn​ @fandom-phaser​ @hollands-osterfield​ @evanssgi​ @happytsholland​ @lu-morningstar​ @ilivefortomhholland​ @quaksonhehe​ @ninjassassin13​ @softholand​ 
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degenerate-otaku · 3 years ago
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Another one shot of Future Gohan and Trunks for yall
https://m.fanfiction.net/s/13896221/1/Before-the-Rain
(Links in case you prefer)
In the times that had followed the androids' destruction, younger generations were highly protected, as they were the earth's only hope. The government set up an initiative to get more children out of dangerous cities that housed gangs and violence.
Children and any family they had would move to countryside camps, wherein they would receive food, safety and education in return for doing manual labour such as farming and sewing, as well as taking care of the sick.
Trunks somewhat hated this, as it meant that many children in West City, including his own friends often moved away when things got too difficult, leaving him isolated, in terms of having friends his own age.
Sure, sometimes he'd visit, taking the underground railway system, or by hopping on the nimbus, or even flying when he had learnt to do so, but it felt like an arduous task.
However, when Gohan decided to volunteer as a teacher, Trunks thought it would be a good idea to attend full time, as the pair could go together. Trunks was surprised when the day before Gohan revealed he was rather nervous about it.
“C'mon, you're an amazing teacher to me, so I'm sure you'll be able to teach more kids!” Trunks reassured him, snuggling into bed. He always loved when Gohan would stay over at his house, it was so comforting to know he was right there beside him.
“Yeah...but that's you...and I've known you since you were born...and there's a lot of kids!” Gohan hung up his smart looking outfit, which Trunks remarked as being nerdy, on a hanger, before sitting on the edge of the bed.
“Trust me, they aren't as annoying as me. You'll be fine...Good night.” Trunks smiled at him before switching off his light and pretending to be asleep before Gohan could worry further.
Gohan sighed and tucked the boy in a little more before heading to sleep himself.
The next day, the pair flew to the makeshift school building, and landed away from sight before coming in together.
To keep Gohan distracted from his nerves, which Trunks viewed as highly irrational, considering Gohan was also "The Golden Warrior", he inquired,
“Doesn't your mom cook for the kids here a lot? My friends said that a lady called Miss Son is the most amazing lunch lady ever.”
“Huh? Oh...yeah,” Gohan laughed, lifting his head from the book held in his hands.
“I mean...she's used to cooking in massive quantities for me and for when my dad was around...it's a chance for her to share her...motherly-ness.” He smiled, then stopped at the door, listening to the sound of children chattering inside.
“You can do this!” Trunks grinned, taking his bag off his shoulder as he stepped in, Gohan following, the class immediately silenced, intrigued by the smart young man, that was clearly strong looking, his muscles bulging even in his clothes.
“Uh...Good morning class!” He began, picking up a pen and writing his name on the board.
“My name is Mr Son...and I will be your new teacher!” He smiled politely, awaiting a response.
“Oh my god, are you married to the lunch lady?!” A girl exclaimed.
Gohan frantically shook his head, “N-no, she's my mom!” His face had gone red as the class giggled, but he soon regained composure, laughing it off.
“Gosh, she cooks like that for you all the time?!” Another kid chimed in and he scratched the back of his head,
“Yeah...I guess so! I just hope she doesn't come in and embarrass me!” He answered.
Trunks gazed up at him from where he was sitting. He was glad to see his best friend adapting so well to his new job.
“Alright! Our first task is going to be a written task, which I'll get you to read aloud at the end.” He instructed them, handing out some paper, taking a look at every one of his new students.
“I want you all to write about what you did during your summer. Which programs did you volunteer in? Did you visit anywhere?”
He returned to his position at the front and passionately spoke, “I really wanna know about you guys! Oh...maybe I should take the register to learn your names...tell me if I mispronounce any!”
Gohan sat down, getting out the list of names and calling them out, one by one, receiving a pleasant "Good morning, Mr Son“ each time. It was strange to hear Trunks call him that, and by the sound of it, the title was strange for the boy to speak aloud too. The two just had to pretend as if they didn't know each other, Gohan made it a priority not to show favouritism towards him, but he knew it would be difficult.
He loved that boy unconditionally.
”Sir, how long do we have?“ A girl named Cherri, who he knew to be Trunks' friend that used to live not far from Capsule Corp, asked.
”Oh...right, I forgot to tell you that! Uh...you have until half past.“ He answered, before scribbling down more lesson ideas in his book.
The truth was that he had no clue about what he was doing. He was planning his lessons as he went along.
The time passed quickly, and Gohan decided to pick out random students to read out what they had wrote. A few passed, and he made some notes about them in his book.
”Alright, last but not least is Trunks.“ Gohan called out to him, snapping the boy out of a daydream.
”Oh, ok...“ He reluctantly stood and read from the paper, ”Last summer, I mostly stayed at home, played video games and studied. I went to the beach with my mom a few times....uhh I watched TV and...uh yeah.“ He sat back down.
”...that's it? That's all you wrote?“ Gohan glared at his student, hoping he had a good response.
”Yeah.“ Trunks replied, thinking nothing of it.
”Trunks, you had half an hour and you wrote 3 sentences.“ Gohan sounded stern and the class silently watched.
”Well, you already know what I did last summer, Gohan-“ Trunks gasped and the class was confused.
”Wait, is he your brother?“ The boy next to Trunks, who was also his good friend asked and the whole class started chatting.
Gohan cleared his throat and sighed,
”Yes...well...I am very close to Trunks, our families are too...but this does not mean I favour him over any of you.“ He calmed the situation, then spoke directly to Trunks,
”I need you to show the same level of respect to me as everyone else in here, too, ok? It is the morning of the first day, so I will let this slide, but please give more effort.“
Trunks nodded, but rolled his eyes, slumping back in his chair, when Gohan turned to the whiteboard and wrote down the title of the next lesson, before collecting in the students' essays and handing out exercise books.
The next lesson would be a boring maths lesson, which Trunks sat through. He was ahead of his peers in scientific and mathematical subjects, thanks to his master's teaching, so sitting through a recap of something he found so simple was like watching paint dry.
Whenever Trunks raised his hand, he felt like Gohan always asked someone else. He didn't like being ignored.
He knew the answers to everything, it was incredibly annoying to hear someone who clearly didn't know something harder than expanding brackets in algebra, try to solve the equation on the board that Trunks could do in his head.
Gohan was encouraging and made sure the students felt no shame in making mistakes.
”Alright, Cherri, so now you need to get the unknowns on one side of the equation.“ Gohan advised her, writing on the board the step she just explained with his help.
The girl stammered, her face going a little red from the attention.
”The answer is 4!“ Trunks, finally fed up, called out the answer.
”Well, yes, that is correct, but I wasn't asking you, I was asking Cherri.“ Gohan put down his pen and his serious tone returned.
”She obviously didn't know!“ Trunks folded his arms, determined to not apologise for doing what he thought was right.
”It's rude to interrupt, regardless.“ Gohan told him, before moving on.
Finally, it was time for break and when Trunks decided he was going to talk to Gohan, he was surprised to find girls in his class talking to him instead, asking him tons of questions.
”So, you work out?“ One asked, taking a look at his arms.
”Of course he does, just look at him!“ Her friend cut in and Gohan blushed and nodded, explaining his reasons, which Trunks knew to be false.
”Oh, hey, Trunks!“ Gohan spotted him and took his opportunity to get out of that conversation.
”I wanted to have a chat about before.“ He approached his pupil, who was causing him some concern.
”Oh...same.“ Trunks fiddled with the sleeves of his jumper, something he always did when he was nervous, which Gohan took notice of.
”Why did you feel like you could do that?“ Gohan's voice was calm; it always made Trunks feel more at ease.
”I dunno...it just felt like...you were ignoring me. I just got a bit fed up...because I already knew the stuff and you weren't asking me.“ The teen shrugged his shoulders, not meeting his eye.
”Trunks,“ Gohan placed his hand on his shoulder, making the boy glance up at him.
”I just want to know what the others know. I know you're able to do this, but most of them aren't.“
Gohan did make sense, but Trunks was stubborn. His mother said it was a trait of his father, though she was stubborn too.
”I spend a lot of time with you...and I love spending time with you...but it's not fair to give you all my focus...
You know I really love you, right?“
That was enough to make Trunks smile.
”I know...thanks, Gohan...I mean Mr Son.“ Trunks giggled before running off.
Gohan watched as the other kids played together gleefully. It was heartwarming to see them be actual kids and enjoy their disrupted youth. It only made him more determined to fight for their safety and teach them well.
'I might be an even better teacher than you, Mr Piccolo...'
He smirked, hoping Piccolo could hear him somewhere, feeling proud of him.
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af1899 · 3 years ago
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FEH - Finished my 10th project
After having finally acquired enough [Hero Feathers], I decided to finish merging up one of my long-awaited to-be +10s, that's Eir in her New Year alt:
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In the end, I've opted for an attack boon, she does get 59 speed plus help from [Spd/Def Rein 3] and she can get two more points from boosts once I take them to +15, but she kind of needs to deal more damage.
I'll now talk about her and what makes of her my favorite OC in the game, as well as next [Heroic Grails] projects plans right below.
So... Why I like Eir?
I consider her my favorite OC and while it's true she's not my all time favorite, best girl, etc. She still sort of feels special.
I remember fondly the time I was watching the [Feh Channel] announcing the [Book III] thematic and setting back in late 2018 or so, I was happy with the new content but when I saw Eir, I fell in love with her design, but around that time, I didn't think I'd grow so interested on her as I'm now, but luckily, that's been changing for the better as the story developed and later on, she got her only alt so far, which I have shown above.
Her gameplay elements didn't have much of special but she still had respectable utility in the original form and our first Mythic Hero ever, but that's what not conquered me, far from it actually.
Over the time, I was charmed by her quiet and solemn personality, she often looks sad... but so is her story, which has its bits of drama but in the end, she stands up to protect her newfound friends in the Order of Heroes, she's shown to have a strong will in the cinematic of [Book III] after finishing it.
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And her design sorta reminds me of Idoun too, the real best girl of all time. But anyway, Eir is such a precious girl and I'd like to fully invest in her OG form someday.
I was remembering that, after [Book III], she had little to no interactions in the plot, however, she does appear now and then in [Forging Bonds] dialogues, I specially remember the one with Lena quite fondly, in which she visits a local village to aid the needed, there's an unknown woman who's about to give birth to a child but is sick and either her or the child have to die, but Eir comes up with an idea and brings Midori quickly (they know each other ever since Midori's debut in the game) since Eir knows that she can help with her medicine, she needs the most pure water possible for it and Eir offers to retrieve the needed sample from a spring she passed by while bringing Midori to the place with the sick woman. And they managed to save both in the end, without having to sacrifice either, she then, converses with Lena about the value of life and agrees that life must be cultivated.
She used to believe that, if one experiences incurable pain then death would be a boon, this is because she had a lot more lives but her mother (Hel) fed upon Eir's life force by killing her over and over until she's left with one life. Of course, that made Eir think like that, but in the end, she survives and joins the Order of Heroes under Hel's orders since she had a plan in mind, but Eir warmed to the Heroes and was unable to betray them.
But, in the end, she's quite the well developed character, not someone super detailed but as the story progressed, it was even clearer to me who would be my favorite OC, and that's her.
Build on OG
It's nothing so extraordinary, but here is what I could assemble some time ago, I just gave her [Windsweep 3] from my recently obtained Alm since I know from my alt account that this kind of build does wonders for her as a supportive unit.
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Now, it's not final and I'm missing some skills but so far it makes of her a healer of sorts and an area debuffer, it's slightly similar to the build I'm using on her alt, but that one is more offensive oriented.
"Do you have more [Heroic Grails] projects?"
I follow a specific pattern with them unlike New/Special Heroes from the summoning pools (of which there are mine and worked on in disorder, yet trying to cover what I need in my army).
First, I work on a red unit and fully merge it, then do the same with a blue, then a green one and a colorless unit, before repeating the cicle. I try to vary with weapon types but that'll likely not be always possible.
It's unlikely that a new unit will break this pattern, it has to be someone I'm so biased with, otherwise they can be put in wait mode until later.
So, since I just finished a red unit, that means I'll now work on a blue, that blue unit is...
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Rinea!
Tell you the truth, I don't remember anymore why I started to work on her, but I'm quite fond of her sweet and calm demeanor.
She's the child of a minor noble house with no so much renown, and the fiance of a knight in service of the "enemy kingdom" in the events of FE15, known as Berkut. They both do love each other, but there's not much of development given to them, specially Rinea who ends up being just a plot device. She's also a passionate dancer, if the chance to dance arises, she happily steps up to take it, this makes up for a few interesting interactions or revelations, like when she had an "audience" out of forest animals to watch her dance.
I was working on her ever since she was announced, but when Brunnya was added, it took me a little self-convincing that the latter would be the blue unit I want to +10, and I did, but this time I'll leave any talk and showcase about her for another post.
Ten finished projects
I strayed from the main topic didn't I?
That's why I try not to talk about another character while I'm covering another topic.
Here's my list of fully merged projects, tried to put them in order of +10ed from memory, but can't guarantee this is exact:
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I have a lot of 5★ projects and 3★/4★ ones from the regular pool, plus sometimes I start a new one, which explains why I have so little ever since I started with a serious account after rerolling for good, on Mar/2019 when Idoun and Spring Palla were debutting.
Sophia should soon make it soon since she's +8 but I'd also like to give something to Tailtiu, whose's Resplendent upgrade comes right tomorrow, can't wait. 💜
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dungeondicedivaarchieve · 3 years ago
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A few months ago I typed up some comments about the anime-only scene between Otogi and Honda on the blimp. Found here.
Well... now I'm here to talk about what happened before that scene. Because I read so much more into it.
Let's take a walk.
Please keep in mind that a great deal of this speculation comes from the belief that, despite Mr. Clown not being seen in the anime, he still exists and his relationship to his son is very similar. Also please keep in mind that this is all speculation from someone who has spent waaaayyyy too much time looking into everything Ryuji Otogi says/ does.
~~~
We join our heroes shortly after Yugi's Duel with Bakura. Ryou has fallen unconscious and the stab wound he sustained earlier has re-opened (unless you're watching the dub where blood doesn't exist.)
Otogi's first line comes after Shizuka has asked Kaiba to land the plane, and the camera cuts to her making a pose that demonstrates both uncertainty and discomfort. Kaiba stares at her and Honda and Otogi both get between them... to Honda's annoyance.
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More on this in a second.
Kaiba ignores this and turns his attention back to Jonouchi and Yugi, telling them that it was Bakura's choice to Duel and that he will not be held responsible for the repercussions of another's mistake.
This causes Shizuka to shout (probably for the first time in her life.)
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Otogi makes this face. Personally, I think it looks like a combination of surprise and concern. But why would he be concerned?
Because Shizuka is a lot younger, a lot smaller, and a lot less powerful (both physically and financially) than Seto Kaiba.
He is fearful of what Kaiba will do in retaliation, ans so.
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He gets between Shizuka and Kaiba in hopes of transferring whatever Kaiba's about to do to him instead of her.
Because Ryuji Otogi is an abuse victim that knows what happens when you challenge someone bigger and more powerful than you. They put you back in your place.
Also Honda continues to not like this. Otogi is cutting him off each time he tries to speak, and while this could be seen as Otogi trying to one up Honda (and the dub absolutely took it that way) I can see it taken a number of ways. There's a chance he's trying to team up with Honda and hope that Kaiba won't start anything if it's two against one. It could also be that Otogi's not paying a lot of attention to Honda. He does see Shizuka and start moving in front of her before Honda moves into the frame the second time.
Going on a small tangent here but...
Keep in mind, Otogi stepped into a fight against four other guys and got himself involved in the fight against a cult to protect Honda and Shizuka. Sure, you can say that he did that to have a chance with her, but that's a lot of risk to have a chance with a girl he knows nothing about... especially for a guy who could have any number of girls with minimal effort. He will also shortly after this put up his own body as a gamble to protect Shizuka from a creepy old man that wants to wear her body like a suit. Personally, I don't think Otogi has any romantic feelings towards Shizuka at all, since each time they interact, he isn't so much flirting as he is trying to protect her. He treats Rebecca in a very similar way when he joins the duel between her and Varon under the assumption that Mai is also dueling, and that Rebecca will be outnumbered (and the correct assumption that a 12-year-old is about to pick a fight with a cult member who has the power to steal her soul. I've heard critiques that Otogi is very sexist because he won't let Rebecca nor Shizuka fight their own battles, which, yes, that's one way to take it... or you can take it as him stepping in when people significantly younger than even he is (Shizuka is 13) are put into incredible danger.)
That was lengthier than I meant for it to be, I'm sorry, back to the actual post.
So, despite everyone's best attempts, Kaiba's not landing this plane. Now get out.
Shizuka makes this face as they leave.
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She's not having a good time.
Again Honda tries to talk to Shizuka and again Otogi cuts him off. He also grabs her hands and makes a very dramatic show of himself.
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He makes this ridiculous face (that the dub skips because right after it, Shizuka blushes, and the dub really wants to portray Duke as the bad option in this love triangle. So we can't let it be known that she's happy he's doing this.)
This. This is not a face you use when you're trying to be suave and impress a girl. Heck, this is not a face we'll ever see him use again. We've seen him be suave and flirtatious, we know what it looks like, and folks, this ain't it.
To me, he knows he's being ridiculous and over-the-top. That's the point. He's trying to make Shizuka smile or at least stop making that face.
Now... this is where things take a turn.
Disclaimer: This might come across like I don't like Honda. I don't dislike Honda at all! It's just the nature of this scene.
Honda volunteers to go look for the Millennium Ring. Yugi agrees that they should all look. Honda says no, Jonouchi and Yugi should focus on their duels.
We cut to Otogi (still holding Shizuka's hands, I think she's okay now buddy you can stop) and he asks if Shizuka wants to help him search (he does not speak for her like he does in the dub.)
Honda insists Otogi come with him and very forcefully shoves/pushes Otogi away from Shizuka (who does, admittedly, look relieved.) When Otogi tries to protest that this isn't what he wants, Honda grabs his face to silence him.
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This is not the first time someone has silenced Otogi by forcefully touching his face.
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And this is not the expression of someone who is at all comfortable with the person touching him.
Honda then proceeds to drag a flailing Otogi away from the group while covering his mouth.
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Otogi is doing everything in his power to communicate that he does not want this without being able to speak or break the guy's hold around his neck and no one is recognizing this as a sign of distress... or they are and they're just not stopping it. Heck, Jonouchi thinks Honda is being nice.
We can also see in this still that Honda's got a few inches on Otogi. Not a lot, Honda is 5'11 and Otogi is 5'8, but that's a considerable difference when you're intimidated.
Honda drags him to the top of the blimp and, while Otogi is looking about the blimp for the ring (what Honda claimed they were going up here to do) Honda stays still. Directly in front of the door. Blocking Otogi from being able to get away. (I can't post any more images in this post I'll have to rely on hyperlinks now.)
Otogi can't get away and he's been pulled away from the group. He is very aware this guy has a problem with him and can very easily overpower him.
So Otogi does what I've dubbed activates smug mode.
I'm going to make another post elaborating on activate smug mode (this one's long enough as it is) but, basically, Otogi only acts this way when he's trying to get the better of someone or when he's feeling threatened. He is also incredibly smug when he approaches his father to tell him that he lost to Yugi, knowing full well how his father will react to that news. It's a defense mechanism. Honda's taller and stronger than Otogi, all Otogi can really do is badmouth him and make him feel smaller in hopes that that will make Honda back off.
He then makes this pose.
I'm no body language specialist, but I worked as a counselor at a battered women's shelter for a while, so I was taught a few things.
1. He turns to his side. When you're intimidated by someone, you don't face them directly. You tilt your body away to give the illusion of distance, and to keep your vitals out of their direct reach.
2. He folds his arms in front of his stomach. Remember, Shizuka crossed her arms in front of her stomach when she was facing down Kaiba. Otogi is masking it a little by pointing and propping his elbow on his hand, but folding the arms over the chest or stomach remains a typical sign of insecurity/fear.
3. He is clutching his arm. This is something people do during severe bouts of anxiety in an attempt to ground themselves.
In conclusion, yes, Otogi sounds very confident and like he's egging Honda on. He sounds confident. Because that's the only thing he really has over Honda. Honda seems insecure about his appearance when compared to Otogi, thus why he gets deeply irritated whenever Otogi gets close to Shizuka. Otogi taps into that and uses it because it's his only defense in this situation. Maybe Honda will get fed up and leave to go lick his wounded pride.
It doesn't work. They throw hands. Well, Honda throws hands. Otogi stays in a very defensive stance the entire time. Fun fact: Keeping your arms raised close to your face and blocking your chest is one of the main stances in the more defensive based martial art of Tae-Kwon-Do.
In conclusion, my name is Axel and I think about this way, way, waaaay too much. I am of the belief that Otogi is very intimidated by Honda. I was going to attach images here of all the times Honda grabs Otogi's shirt/ threatens to punch him in the face but since I can't attach any more images and hyperlinks are a pain, I'll save it for another post. There are at least five instances.
No, I don't hate/dislike Honda, in fact, I'm pretty sure if Honda knew about Otogi's background, he'd feel terrible. The fact is they're both insecure teenage boys, Otogi because of his home life and Honda because of his family's social status and perhaps his lack of success as a duelist.
And... while I've thought about this scene a lot ever since posting that other post, I never realized how sad it makes me. Otogi's not hiding that he's not okay with being manhandled and dragged off, and his friends just sorta. Let it happen. Again, I don't blame any of them. Both Yugi and Jou have a lot on their minds and they don't seem to notice that this is a problem. Probably because 1. Honda and Jou are very physical/ playfully threatening people, that's just how they are. 2. No one knows about Otogi's homelife. They have no way of knowing he would have issue with any of this. They do it to one another all the time.
I have a lot of feelings.
Thank you for coming to my TEDTalk.
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addictofsupernatural · 5 years ago
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Emotions (pt. 7)
Billy Hargrove x reader
Summary: Billy and y/n have a very intimate date.
Author Note: omg this is so short I'm sorry. The next one will be longer, promise.
Warning: brief smut
Word Count: 1015
Chapter 1 • Series Masterlist • Chapter 8
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About two weeks later you planned the perfect date for the two of you. Hopper was going to a dinner and show with Joyce, and Eleven was out with her friends. That meant the two of you had the house to yourselves. You were leading him to the house, with Billy's eyes closed. You went inside and closed the door.
"Okay, open your eyes!" He looked around. You set up blankets and pillows on the floor, along with a home cooked meal and pie. "Tada! Dinner and movie. It's kind of like the first time we kissed, only a little more romantic."
Billy watched you rock on your feet in anticipation. He tugged your waist with one arm and brought you smack into a passionate kiss. "Babe, you can't just make a perfect date like this. It makes all the other dates that I take you on look like crap."
"Believe me, none of them are crap." You hooked your arms around his neck, walking backwards and pulling him along. "I just like the idea that I get to take care of you today; let you relax." You sat the two of you down. "So whatever you want tonight, I'll do for you."
Billy looked down in your eyes. "Could you feed me?" He asked in a quiet voice.
"Of course." You gently smiled.
He would normally be embarrassed to ask such a dumb request. It was so silly, being spoon fed. It's not like he would ask any other girl to do it. It's strange, yes, but Billy always wanted to try it. To have someone be okay with putting his needs first, even if it's only for a few moments. Something so dumb and silly and strange, it's romantic.
"Why do you have to be so perfect?" Billy asked you once you both finished your meal. "You're too good for me."
"Mm, I'm nowhere near perfect. I'm all messed up in the head Billy. I was living in a hell hole up until two years ago. I didn't even have a name; my name was five. I didn't know how to act, or talk properly, let alone be normal. But I met you. You make me feel better than normal. You make me feel special."
He pulled you in for a deep kiss. "Maybe you just are special." He said against your lips.
You brought your hand to play with the curls against his neck. His facial expression seemed to change a bit, and you took your hand away and leaned back. "I'm sorry...if I came on too strong." You said, looking at the ground.
"What do you mean?" His chest felt colder without your warmth on it.
"I've been bugging you about having sex, and you keep turning me down. If you don't want to do it I understand." You let out a humorless chuckle. "Sometimes I don't even want to see myself naked. I never throw myself at anyone, I swear, but I loved the idea of being connected in that special way. I just don't want you to think that I'm easy, or maybe feel obligated or something."
He scooped you up and put you in his lap. He just hugged you warmly. You hugged back. You two were like that for a minute before he pulled back and put his hands on your cheeks. "Don't ever think for a second that you're not the sexiest thing I've ever known. You don't bug me, I'm just waiting for the right moment, because you deserve the right moment. I don't feel obligated and I would never think you're easy. Okay?" You smiled and nodded. "Honestly, I've been horny for you ever since we went to the mall after we met."
You kissed his neck. "I'm sure you did babe."
He immediately looked down at you. "Did you just call me babe?"
"Um, did I?"
He perked up and grinned. "You did!" He tackled you to the floor, kissing and tickling you.
"Billy!" You giggled.
"Hm?" He was on a fours, looking down at you.
"No tickling!"
"I can't help it, I'm your babe." He brushed his nose with yours, kissing you. Your kiss became deeper, and soon he was holding your wrists while you were pinned on the ground. He lazily smiled at you. "You're so sexy."
You smiled back, reaching up and giving him a peck on the lips. "Hmm. Prove it."
He stood, scooping you up bridal style and carried you to your room. He laid you down on the bed and "You ready?" He asked gently.
You smiled brightly and nodded. He tried popping your button on your pants off while staring at you, but he had some trouble. You bursted into a fit of giggles. "That was so not sexy." You said in between laughter.
You brought him in for a hug while laughing, and soon your laughter became contagious to Billy. He's never done this before. He's never had sex with someone, and it end up being silly. It was always serious and quick, with Billy focused on his own needs before whoever he was with. But laughing here with you, with your pants unbuttoned and the two of you pressed up against each other, it's really a breath of fresh air.
Once you stopped laughing, you gave Billy a kiss on the neck. "Oh, I love you Billy."
He freezed. Did you just say what he think you just said? "What?" The word came out hoarse.
"Oh my God! I'm so sorry I should have waited to tell you but it just came out and I couldn't help it because you deserve to be told it but if you're not ready then I shouldn't have said–"
He cut you off with a deep kiss. "You love me?" He asked as he pulled away.
You scoffed. "Well, yeah. I don't see how anybody couldn't."
He peppered kisses all over your face. "I love you too." Before you say anything Billy put his thumb down on your clothes clit, stroking it. A small whine left your mouth. "Let me love you." You nodded and relaxed.
---
Tag List:
@roxytheimmortal @shane-isa-shame @actuallyazriel @tanovic54321 @chipster-21 @jula-bear @ellie2468 @sassysmiles @frozenhuntress67 @fansanctuary
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paperbagpetrichor · 5 years ago
Note
Hey, I'm not sure if I've already sent you a request, if so I'm sorry, but I have an idea in my head. Could you do a Polnareff x female reader who's actually an enemy but she falls for Polnareff over time and Polnareff finds out she's an enemy? Thank you so much and have a nice day.
[ It’s all good! c: My apologies that this became so long, I had a lot of fun with this premise and I hope you enjoy nonetheless. ]
You’d been able to infiltrate the group fairly easily.  Stardust Crusaders, Lord Dio called them.  Sounded like space heroes destined to save the world, some cartoon show, some comic, anything but what they were.  All they really were was a pack of men sniffing around like bloodhounds around Lord Dio’s footholds.  By then a few of your allies had fallen at their hands, if their desire to end your superior wasn’t enough, and you found your mission one you couldn’t ensure the success of: join them.  Dio had trusted you enough to employ you as a spy.  Of course, the flesh bud he’d implanted into your forehead was more than enough a reign to pull you back should something go wrong, but you were the only one he was unwilling to spare as a simple cardboard minion, destined to fight the Crusaders yourself.  But unlike some of the prior workers, your orders weren’t to kill on sight.  No - you were to gain their trust.  Become their friends, get to know them.  Find out as much information as you could, about anything and everything, be it their dispositions, their victories, their successes, their obstacles, their plans; to distract them during battle, innocently enough so as to go unnoticed but long enough to allow your ally the upper hand.  
So far, all had been going well.  You’d been with them for a while, ever since their arrival in Singapore, where you had followed their trail and eventually gained their attention after creating a diversion during one of their battles with your stand.  Despite the time you gave, warning the others that you felt a presence coming from downstairs, opposite of where Devo was stationed, the man had still died at the hands of Polnareff.  With fear you continued to inform Dio of their victories, waiting for admonishment.  All you ever received was a stern warning.  A reminder that this was your job.  That no matter how everyone else may fail, you still must follow his orders and accomplish his goal.  And thus you did.  
Dio was already well-acquainted with Joseph due to their connection, but you informed your superior of the Joestar’s stand ability, noting that it was fairly weak in combat but could prove dangerous should he discover too much.  Since Jotaro was Joseph’s grandson, you had speculated Dio would know just as much of him, but their connection either wasn’t as strong or had been severed entirely, so you filled him in, noting Jotaro’s calculating mind, strong stand, the way he conducted himself in battle.  Both you and Dio agreed that his stand posed the most threat of the group.  There was the dog, Iggy, but no matter how much you attempted to notify Dio that his unpredictable nature could lead to unforeseen troubles, Dio simply shot you down.  According to him, the fact that Iggy didn’t always agree with the Crusaders’ goals - or perhaps simply didn’t care - was enough to discredit him, at least momentarily.  You fed whatever locations or plans the group traveled to or prepared for from Avdol, although even as he accepted you into the group, he wasn’t quite an open man.
That left the others.
The two who were - who had been - just like you.
Kakyoin and Polnareff.
Kakyoin had been the first to go.  When you received news that he’d switched sides, something cold had swept over your heart, jaw clenched, stiff as a board.  You hadn’t known him personally, or met him at all, for that matter, at the time, but the thought that someone could so easily betray a person who had offered them love, a family, a chance...it sickened you.  He would have been nothing without Dio’s help.  He still was nothing.  Nowhere near as motivated, or passionate, or dedicated to his new cause as he had been when under Dio’s control.  Of course, he’d been the first to lose to the group, so to some degree you weren’t surprised that he wasn’t all Dio had in mind for him.  
Then there was Polnareff, the second.  The last.  Although once more you’d never had direct contact with him, you had been in just the other room the day Dio had invited him in, speaking sweet wonders and promises to the Frenchman, guaranteeing that whatever he wanted, he could have.  You were currently overseeing the remnants of your group at that moment, but had paused to pick up the conversation.  His little sister, Sherry, had been brutally killed, by a man with two right hands - no doubt J. Geil, the man who had occupied a room beside you in Dio’s mansion, only further confirmed when you had witnessed his death at Polnareff’s hands not long after becoming a Crusader - and he sought revenge.  Little did he know that when he accepted Dio’s offer, the man he was searching for had been right under his nose.  Out of them all, it was easiest to get Polnareff talking, easy enough, in fact, that you could hardly find a way to shut him up at times.  But it was because of that the two of you had become closest in the group.  How odd.  You, ‘friends,’ with a man who had betrayed Dio, betrayed you...a man you would have to kill, if all else failed.  If not, a man you would have to let die along with the others.  
Nevertheless you maintained your end of the bargain and decided to blend in.  It was easy enough for you to put up with him if you thought not of his prior loyalty to you and Dio, and with time you found yourself starting to feel at ease - at least, as at ease one could be when a traitor to the ones around them - with him.  Something about his perception was admirable.  Almost always, he’d be the first to notice a stand user, or at least locate a stand.  His honor, even if he was beyond arrogant at times.  You found it funny.  Especially if another group member undermined him almost instantly, or else he received not applause but laughter as a response.  
And there was something else, too.  The way he’d look at you after every battle, concern in his eyes first, then drifting into pride as he realized you’d held your own.  You put it down easily enough to his desire for women’s attention.  After all, there was hardly ever a moment the two of you were out and about where he wasn’t speaking about everything he would love his significant other to have.  That was information certainly not worth sharing with Dio, but interesting nonetheless.  Someone pretty, of course, there wasn’t a chance he wouldn’t end up with someone unattractive (and as you listened to his list, you began to picture something like a placated sun goddess, falling to his every whim with an affectionate swoon), and loyal (ironic enough), and caring, who would love him forever and help him through whatever he may face, who he could talk to freely and completely be himself around, who would listen, who would admire him just as much, if not more, as he seemed to admire himself.
But whatever that ‘something’ was - you couldn’t have placed your finger on it before the battle with Midler, but after you would begin to have a growing suspicion - only expanded after you’d escaped from the grasps of the High Priestess.  Apparently Midler must’ve thought you were a little too close with the group, and focused on attacking you more so than her predetermined targets.  She’d tried everything she could think of to eliminate you.  And she’d nearly succeeded.  When you felt someone pulling your onto the surface, your mind blank and eyes half-open, breathing heavy and choked, you’d realized the loss of your oxygen tank and the deep cut that now ran from the corner of your mouth to your chest.  The first person you’d seen was him.  Polnareff was the one who’d saved you.
You shouldn’t have felt it.
You couldn’t have felt it.
It was wrong, so wrong, so very, truly, incredibly, undeniably wrong, but it was true, so true, so very, truly, incredibly, undeniably true.  The way your heart fluttered around him.  How you always seemed to be smiling when talking with him or thinking of him, how he occupied your mind.  The fact that he would always check up on you and your injury.  Those glances that you had previously caught now lingering as you made contact with them, and began doing the same to him.  Feelings that you’d never experienced before, but simply new, deep within your gut, as they spread across your body, were the beginning of love.  
And with time, you’d begun to shy away from Dio’s goals.  You still kept relaying the plans to him, but sometimes left out a few details, leaving more than just a bit in the dark.  In battles, you wouldn’t so actively attempt to divert the group’s attention.  You never lashed out with full power at your ‘enemy,’ but took your ‘act’ up a few notches, careful to make a few hits hurt when needed.  Somewhere in between your commitment to Dio and commitment to the Crusaders was the puzzling purgatory you lay in.  Swearing your allegiance to both.  Betraying both.  Eventually you weren’t Dio’s minion or a Stardust Crusader.  
You were just a girl in love.  With someone you never should’ve fallen for.
Somewhere you knew you would have to pick a side.  Stick with the man who had promised you all you had ever wanted, given you a place within his heart, appreciated you for who you were, desired to protect, ensured to care for you - or switch to the man who had fulfilled those promises.  Every step you now took was a weight upon your shoulders.  You were indecisive.  Weak.  Too stupid to realize that maybe if you stuck around a little longer, looked a little harder, opened up a little more, that you would find what you had been searching for: someone to love, someone who cared about you with all their heart and would never let harm befall you if they could help it.  Someone who loved you, too.
The time had come.
You had made your choice.
Polnareff had unsheathed the sword.  The stand.  And now, it had complete and total control over him.  You and Jotaro took your shots, Polnareff parried and returned his own, coming dangerously close to injuring you or the other man upon multiple occasions.  In truth you had no idea how much power the sword truly bore.  Even after Star Platinum had broken it, its power had still managed to surge through it like electricity, sparking into Polnareff in the blink of an eye and turning him back to his initial allegiance.  You weren’t sure how much damage the sword needed to sustain to release control of the Frenchman.  And you weren’t sure how much you’d have to damage Polnareff to stop it.  Your attacks remained in sync with Jotaro’s, each creating an opening for the other, even as your leg sustained a wound so deep you could barely manage to stand, and Jotaro was stabbed right in the stomach.  There.  That was the opportunity.  You had to chance it.  If you didn’t, you would never save Polnareff.  When Dio discovered it, he would kill you undoubtedly, with so much as a second thought.  You were just as disposable as everyone else he’d used, and you’d been an idiot not to recognize it sooner.  There wasn’t anything special about you.  Nothing that man - that monster - had ever said to you was genuine.  
But if you didn’t, the entire group might wind up falling to their deaths at Polnareff’s hands, or Polnareff falling to his at the hands of the others.  
As soon as the sword had broken Jotaro’s skin, your stand swung out, charging viciously at both sides of the weapon and entangling it within your hands, pinning it right where it stood, Polnareff’s hand still set on the handle, and you threw everything you had at it.  You didn’t even have to look to see it shatter.  The sound of glass hitting the ground was all you heard as something immobilized you where you stood, coursing through your blood like fire, cutting you like knives from within, desperate to escape.
And then there was nothing.
And then there was Polnareff.
You had no idea where you were.  A room, that much was obvious, but as to where, you were clueless.  A faint aching resounded near your forehead, but besides that, nothing else hurt.  You were still alive?  But - as you raised a hand to where the flesh bud had once buried itself within you - you felt nothing besides smooth skin.  The man beside you - everyone - had uncovered you.  And now you had to face him.
“You don’t have to wait,” you began quietly, jolting Polnareff from whatever stupor he was entangled in, “it’ll be easy to kill me now.  I can’t fight back.  I’d ask you to make it quick, but I know I don’t deserve that.”  A low laugh escaped you, somewhere in between relief and terror, acceptance and denial.  You hadn’t died at Dio’s hands, but it was now certain you’d die at one of the Crusaders’ attacks.  And considering only one was around, it didn’t take much, not at all, to guess who would end you.
His pause confused you.  You kept your eyes open, but only stared at the ceiling, either unwilling or unable to face him.  A sigh escaped him, followed by the sound of clothes rustling, and his voice.  “You’re safe,” he breathed, just barely making its way into your ears, only for your head to snap to his direction with confusion.
You grit your teeth and faced him.  It took everything you had to maintain a straight face, to not break down, to not scream, to not cry or yell.  “Why did you take me here?”  That was all you managed to escape you.
“Your leg was - ”
“Polnareff, that’s not what I’m talking about.  If we’re here now, you know exactly what I mean.”  Beneath the blankets your fists clenched, nails digging into your palms, barely aware of any of the physical pain as you prepared yourself for his response.
Once more he had another trick up his sleeve, shaking his head from side to side, resting an elbow atop your bed and placing his chin upon his palm, gazing down at you with pained blue eyes, expression tight but not singular, like whatever he was feeling was too complex for a simple look to convey it.  “Jotaro managed to get the bud out,” he began, taking a deep breath as something like a small smile formed on his lips, “and your leg’s going to be fine, too.”  The instant he saw you open your mouth, he silenced you, continuing, “[Y/n].  I need you to listen to me.”
Here it comes.  You were already prepared for it.  You’d been expecting it since the beginning - not just of awakening with him beside you, but ever since you joined the group, since you allied with Dio.  Expected it and accepted it.  There were some fights you simply couldn’t win.  And then there were those that you simply didn’t deserve to win.
What you were not prepared for, however, was for him to take your hand into his free arm, giving it a gentle squeeze.  When he spoke next, his voice was soft, quiet, so unlike his usual demeanor that it frightened you for more reasons than just one.  “It was successful.  You’re free from him now.  He can’t control you anymore.”  You blinked up at him with stunned eyes.  What was he doing?  You didn’t so much as have time to think beyond it as he let your hand go, instead trailing his along your now-smooth forehead, sweeping along it before falling to your side and taking your hand once more.  “I know.  I’ve been here before.  But I was alright.  And you’re going to be, too, [y/n].  None of us are going to hurt you.  They’ve seen this before, too.”  He paused for a moment and closed his eyes.  “The fact that you were able to fight against it - to save me...that was more than enough.  You’re one of us now.  And I couldn’t be more glad.”
Everything came far too fast far too quickly for you to piece it together, and it took you long to even begin to formulate a response, much less speak.  Your heart was in your mouth as you replayed his words.  You weren’t going to die here.  You weren’t a traitor, you weren’t out to get them.  You’d saved them.  Him.  And they were willing to look past everything...all caused by a stupid implant that caused hatred to boil in your blood.  They accepted you.  He accepted you.  “I - ” and it was then that you hit your breaking point, tears beginning to spill, “ - thank you.  So much.  I’m so glad that I...that you’re here, Polnareff.  You were willing t-to care.  Even for someone like, like me.”
“Of course I care,” he relented, tucking a stray stand of your hair that fluttered just above your eye back behind your ear, touch disappearing for a moment and eyes breaking from yours before returning, something new within them, warm, and passionate, something you’d never seen in him before.  “I love you, [y/n].”
You most certainly didn’t look pretty.  Sweat had beaded down your tired face, hair matted and messy, absolutely nothing like the sun, much less like a goddess.  To hell with loyalty.  You’d broken it, after all.  Caring?  About as caring as to let him die, sure.  Who would help him, who could listen to him, who he could be himself around...you were a traitor.  Of course he couldn’t let you do anything of that, or he let himself do around you.
“I can’t apologize enough.  All I can...I’m sorry, Polnareff, I-I’m so sorry.  I...love you.”
But you did admire him.  Even more than he seemed to admire himself.  And as you wrapped your arms around him, sinking into his embrace, savoring his forbidden touch that was now all yours, all free, all open, no more secrets, no more hiding, no more lying, him thumbing away your tears, you knew it all to be true.
You didn’t need to be Dio’s minion.  You didn’t need to fit Polnareff’s dream girl description.
All you needed to do was be yourself, against him, a new future more promising than ever beginning to crest the horizon.
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