#eventually something is going to snap & it might not even be big one day she's just going to realise that she doesn't want to do it anymore

[repressionmd]

me @ javadi: quit your job change your name trans your gender disappoint your parents and LIVE A LITTLE!!! PLEASE!!!

[woso-dreamzzz]

Second Time's The Charm: Christmas

Alexia Putellas x Reader

Summary: Christmas in the STTC Universe

"Alexia!" Mapi shrieks," Alexia! Stop ignoring me! Alexia!"

Alexia hums to herself, hunched over her phone as she scrolls through another website.

Mapi, however, forces her way through mountains and mountains of stacked boxes to get to the other side of the room.

The locker room is covered in boxes from top to bottom with some even crammed into areas that they really shouldn't be able to be forced into.

"Ale! Alexia!"

Alexia looks up in shock. "Oh! Mapi! When did you get here?"

"About ten minutes ago! Which you would know if you didn't have this place stocked up like the back room of a shoe shop!"

Alexia frowns. "What do you mean? There's only five boxes of shoes here."

"I wasn't being literal!" Mapi snaps before massaging her temples with her hands. "What is all this stuff?! And why is it here?!"

"They're presents," Alexia says it like Mapi's dumb," For Christmas."

"Obviously but why are they here?"

"Well, I couldn't leave them at home. Maya's in that exploring stage so she'd get curious and try to look through them. And Elena's learning to crawl and this stuff would just get in way."

"So you thought that you would put all the presents for your whole family in here? With us?"

"No," Alexia scoffs," Don't be silly, Mapi."

"This is only temporary then? Thank god because I-"

"This is only Maya's gifts. Elena's are in one of the meeting rooms and y/n's are hidden at Alba's...Mapi? Are you okay? Your face is turning an odd colour."

Mapi's dramatic walk off is hindered somewhat by smacking her nose straight into a pile of boxes and nearly falling back into another one but, eventually, she manages to storm out and straight upstairs to your office.

You're sitting in your desk chair, looking through player health files or something when the door is slammed open.

"Your wife is crazy!"

"And hello to you too, Mapi. Come on in!"

"Crazy!" Mapi repeats, pacing in short, aggravated circles," She's crazy! The locker room is covered! Covered! In Christmas presents for your daughter! You have to get her to stop!"

You don't have a time to reply because the door swings open again and Alexia bursts in.

"Amor!" She cries," I found the cutest little booties for Elena! Look! Look!"

"No..." Mapi says softly," No...This-This can't be happening..."

"They're so cute!" You tell Alexia with equal enthusiasm," She'll love them so much! Order them! Order them!"

Alexia types in the delivery address and her card details and orders it happily before looking up.

"Where did Mapi go?"

It's a question that neither of you really dwell on that much as you show Alexia your own present ideas.

Wrapping the presents the night before isn't an easy task and you get the feeling that you and Alexia might have gone just a bit overboard. It's only a fleeting thought as you and Alexia wrap the boxes and tie them off with bows, writing sweet messages to your daughters on them even though neither of them can read just yet.

"We're all sleeping together tonight, right?" Alexia asks as she finishes off her last present, placing it in Elena's sizable pile.

"Us and the girls, definitely," You agree," I'm not sure if you'll get all the dogs and Mr Stinky in bed with us."

Mr Stinky looks up from his spot on the special pillow that's reserved just for him on the sofa. The tumours on his body have gotten much bigger now and he's getting weaker and weaker by the day.

He's got one more scan to come back to see if anything can be done but this could be his very last Christmas.

"Mr Stinky won't mind," Alexia assures you," He loves cuddling in our bed."

"And Lady?"

"Lady loves cuddling too!"

"And Sinky and his sisters?"

Alexia purses her lips. The puppies are still a bit wild and excitable at times, none of them ever content to just stay in one place even though the bed is more than big enough for everyone to fit into it.

"We'll leave the bedroom door open," Alexia says sagely, nodding her head like she's just cracked the secrets of the universe," So they can come in if they want."

"Alright," You say, standing up and stretching your back," I'm going to bring Mr Stinky up and then grab Elena. You'll let the dogs out one last time and get Maya?"

Alexia nods, drawing you back for a moment by your waist to press a kiss to your lips.

"I will, amor."

"Good," You say," And hurry up."

Alexia nods along with a smile, already heading to open the back door for the dogs.

Your footsteps approaching again makes Alexia turn and you speak directly in her ear.

"And I've got a very special present for you tomorrow when the girls have gone to sleep."

"Oh?"

You giggle right in her ear, low and sultry. "You're going to have a lot of fun unwrapping me for Christmas."

[merakiui]

something something eldritch monster azul thoughts.

he’s your childhood friend. you meet him in the woods, huddled in the darkness of a burrow beneath an ancient tree, its roots grotesquely gnarled. it’s pitch-black inside, and when you reach in hoping to find a cute bunny or maybe even a family of frogs you don’t expect the darkness to reach back. it coils around your wrist, an obsidian appendage that’s sticky and frigid to the touch. you gasp and the darkness quickly retreats.

“don’t go! please don’t go. i’m sorry if i scared you,” you say, feeling around for the creature and mourning its disappearance. “i won’t hurt you. come back…” two brilliant blue eyes open to watch you, quietly assessing whether you’re friend or foe.

hesitantly, almost shyly, the tentacle creeps back, searching out your arm. it curls between your fingers, a soft human hand. when you pull, a boy your age comes out from the darkness, covered in grime and cobwebs. you offer him your coat because he isn’t wearing anything, and it’s a cold autumn day. he blinks at you, one eye at a time. you ask him what his name is, but he doesn’t seem to have one. he doesn’t speak, but he understands you when he nods or shakes his head in response to some of your curious questions.

you bring him home, ask your parents if you can keep him. you’ve always wanted to live with a friend. your parents are horrified. “where did you find this boy?” they ask, wrapping him up in a blanket, hurrying to find clothes for him, prepare him some food, get him into the bath. “where are his parents?” you tell them he doesn’t have any—that’s what he told you, or that’s what you’re assuming. your parents think this boy might be lost. they decide to make missing posters for him, ask around the neighborhood, file reports. until someone claims him, he can stay.

you’re ecstatic, happily pulling him all throughout the house to show him around. “this is my room. this is my favorite plushie. you can’t have her, though. she sleeps with me. oh, but you can have this one! it’s an octopus. it’s blue like your eyes. take it.” his arms are full of things you’re giving him. expressionless, he allows you to bring him deeper into the weavings of your life. you share parts of yourself with him. you’re effortlessly kind. a warm presence. he decides he likes you.

later that night, while he sleeps curled on the floor in soft, sea-print pajamas, you dream of the shadow in the burrow. when you ask the darkness its name, it replies: azul.

no one comes forward with any information. days turn into months and then years. you grow up alongside each other. eventually azul learns to speak, to write, to do all the things you can do. his appetite is voracious. you used to giggle when he’d tear into his meals with both hands. it wasn’t until he learned how to feel shame, how to have manners, that he began to utilize his utensils, take small, mindful bites, tamp down his ravenous urges. you learn a lot about him when you sleep. you dream of that burrow a lot, about what resides in it.

he accompanies you to school. the children there make fun of him because he’s weird and different. not like the rest. because he blinks strangely and because he always smells like wet earth and because he acts funny and because he clings to you so much it’s codependent (“ooohh,” the bullies jeer, “(name)’s got a boooooyfriend!” and you fluster like it’s something to be ashamed of—like he’s something to be ashamed of). he wants them all dead, but before he can carry out a swift, spine-snapping execution you’re stopping him. “azul!” you shout, rushing over to him, heaving out great gasps. you’re crying. big globs of salt in your eyes. he can smell it, your fear, your sadness, your panic. very human scents. “stop! you can’t!”

he turns slowly. blood flecks his cheeks and knuckles from where he kicked and punched, from the stone he retrieved in the courtyard, its rough tip poised to gouge out an eye. the bullies look up at him in horror. it’s a different fear from yours. they’re terrified of him. you’re terrified for him.

it’s the first and final time he resorts to violence. the teachers give him an earful. your parents apologize profusely, insist he isn’t usually like this, are willing to compromise with the families of those rotten children, but then they don’t truly know azul. they’re going to make an effort to discipline him better, they say. he’s a good child. honest.

he sits outside the principal’s office, idly swinging his legs.

after that day, the bullies never mess with him again. after that day, he learns how to smile.

- - -

the years trickle by. azul has lived as a human so long that he’s forgotten what he really is. he’s not very strange anymore. he’s learned how to be mostly human, how to camouflage monstrosity with humanity. everything he knows, he’s learned from you.

he doesn’t know how old he is. when you were little, you said he could be your age. he looked it. you told him, “since you don’t know when your birthday is, you can share mine.” so every year that he’s spent with you, he’s aged just like you. the both of you are sixteen when he plants his lips on yours. you’re being naughty, sneakily watching an r18 film. he watches the actors as they wrap around each other. it’s more than an embrace. he asks you what that is, what it means, and you tell him it’s because they love each other. sex is what you do when you love someone.

so he kisses you. it’s just innocent curiosity, a peck that lasts a little too long. you fall backwards on the sofa, shocked, your fingers brushing your mouth, as if you can still feel him there.

“what…was that for?”

“love,” he replies. “isn’t that how it’s done?”

“do you love me, azul?”

“like the humans on TV?”

“that’s different. that’s…romantic. intimate. y-you know…”

he doesn’t.

“then what is this?” he points to his mouth and then yours. “what are we?”

“we’re friends.”

he feels it two years later, when you bring your first boyfriend home and it’s made abundantly clear what he is and what that boy is. he learns there is an important distinction between boyfriend and a boy who is a friend. he’s the latter.

he snoops through your laundry, searching for the ones that smell like that boy. you yell at him, fiercely embarrassed. you smell like him more and more every day. when he was little, he’d climb into your bed for warmth and you’d allow it. not so much anymore now. now you share your bed with another. you tell him he can’t just go through your things or snoop around your room, especially your laundry! it’s not right. he’s your friend. he’s like family to you. azul thinks all of these distinctions are so troublesome.

your boyfriend is troublesome.

- - -

he’s hungry. he needs to eat more to keep his energy up. the human doctors told him it’s because he’s growing. he needs something fleshy, though. he needs a pulsing heart between his teeth, warm, moist gore spattering his maw. he’s not sure what he’s doing when he stands over the mangled corpse on the side of the road, backdropped by towering trees. it’s an unlucky deer. freshly hit. he’s hungry.

so he eats.

azul feels whole when he’s with you, serene, like the world is one piece and all is well. he lies on the grass beside you, peering up at fluffy cumulus clouds. the sky is so blue. “are you going to marry him?” he asks suddenly, and you turn to look at him, utterly baffled.

“n-no way. i’m too young for marriage. b-besides, that’s something you do when you’re really in love.”

“then are you really in love with him?”

“i like him.” you prop yourself up on your elbow and poke his cheek. “we need to get you someone, zuzu. then you’ll understand.”

he highly doubts that.

years ago, he snuffed the violent tempest raging within him for calm seas. gentle. tender. humans like those traits. he wants to be an ideal human for you. it’s harder than he thought. lots of energy.

for you, he’ll do it.

for you, he’ll do anything.

- - -

he stands in the doorway, watching you like you’re one of the humans on TV. he remembers the movie. sex. that’s what you do when you love someone. you told him that. if you love him, why are you also loving someone else?

he still doesn’t understand the complexities of love. his thinking is black-and-white. animalistic instinct. logic that borders survival.

you’re horrified. you yank sheets up and over yourself and your boyfriend, squawk at him to get out, toss a pillow his way. it lands at his feet. he thinks fondly of throwing your boyfriend against the wall and listening to his skull crack.

he leaves. the door shuts behind him.

- - -

“if i was a monster, would you still like me?” he asked once, while you were relaxing on the beach. a vacation to a warmer place in the middle of winter. like migration.

“where’s this coming from?” you peek at him from over the mound of a sandcastle. he digs his feet into the grit, feels it cake between his toes.

“would you?” he presses, pushing deeper until a crab breaks the surface and skitters away. he tracks its frantic departure with his eyes.

“you’re not a monster.”

“but what if i was? pretend for just a moment.”

you stop patting the sand. the misshapen castle is on the verge of collapse. a quaint sea breeze blows between the both of you.

“i’ll always love you, azul. even if you’re a monster.”

“do you promise?”

“i promise.”

you smile at him, and the tension breaks. he allows you to bury his lower half in the sand.

did you mean it? he wants to ask every day after that one. will you really love me when i’m a monster?

- - -

there’s blood everywhere.

at first, you think a bear ripped your boyfriend apart. trampled the campsite and tore him from his tent, all while you were off gathering twigs and sticks for kindling. but it’s not a bear.

you have to choke back your vomit. the smell is so strong it sticks and cloys in your nostrils, on your person. the gruesome scene is burned onto your eyes, your brain. you’re never going to forget this.

there’s a monster in the middle of the campsite. a writhing mass of black. you dry heave; bile climbs up your throat, muffles your scream. you swallow it even though it burns.

the creature turns slowly. it’s…an octopus? you’re not sure what it is, but it’s reaching for you.

you think you should run. it’s going to come after you next. it’s going to kill you, tear you to pieces, feast on the meat of your corpse. it will be a painful death punctuated with sheer agony.

a tentacle wraps gently around your wrist. you’re brought back to that day in the woods, where you pulled a little boy out from his burrow. you remember the dreams, the voice, the shadow. you remember.

“you promised,” he says, and he sounds so hurt. so sad.

“azul…?”

he’s holding you with the only tentacle that isn’t stained red with blood. the only one that’s clean.

“do you love me?” he asks, and the answer sticks in your throat. your boyfriend is in tatters around you, and this creature—the one responsible—is asking if you love him.

you can’t speak, so instead you gather him in your arms and hug him tightly. he’s tense, afraid. you cling to him so he won’t run away.

“of course i do,” you say around a heartbroken sob. you’re also scared and he knows this, but still you show him kindness. you’ve always been so forgiving. “i will always love you. i don’t care what you are. you’re my azul.”

feebly, not wanting to hurt you, he wraps himself around you, every cold, sticky limb. he anchors himself to your warmth just like he did the first day you met.

love is a beautiful, confounding feeling. but for the moment he thinks he understands it.

my azul.

he couldn’t be anything else.

[wosospacegirl]

I love Stuck with You. Could you write more headcanons for Kika and reader, please? Love your writing

a/n: playing around and experimenting with writing in simple present. Also, this is a scheduled post. It's my first time doing it, I don't know if it's gonna work, but if it does, I'm probably studying.

..

On the bus

- Kika loves sitting with the younger girls on the way to games–playing stupid games, filming TikToks, being loud and messy and chaotic. It might not seem likely, because she’s so shy, but she lives for it.

- Y/n, on the other hand…hates it! She wants to be locked in, focused, not surrounded by teenagers doing TikTok dances, even if, yeah, most girls were over twenty years old.

- So they compromise. 

- Kika always saves Y/N a seat just in case she decides to sit with the chaos with them–even if she knows Y/N will pretend to be annoyed about it. 

- The girls tease them relentlessly when Y/N slumps into the seat next to Kika, like, “Don’t make a big deal out of this.” A frown on her face, as always.

- When Y/N sits in her usual quiet spot, Kika will sometimes sneak back there mid-ride with a snack from the back of the bus, holding to the seat so she won’t fall from the movement. 

- No words, just hands her something and curls up next to her like it’s the most normal thing.

- Kika can easily show affection, something that Y/n struggles with a lot.

- Y/N’s phone is full of videos she didn’t know Kika was filming–her trying not to smile, blinking through glitter filter selfies, or rolling her eyes at the girls while clearly not hating it.

- One time, Y/N snapped and told the girls to shut up, that they were being way too loud, and Kika made a little fake sad face at her from across the aisle. 

- Y/N immediately caved and mumbled, “Not you, you're fine.”

- On long rides, Kika traces shapes on Y/N’s thigh while they listen to music. Y/N pretends it’s annoying but never tells her to stop.

- Sometimes Y/n sits in the chaos, reluctantly filming a TikTok with a permanent frown on her face. 

- Other times, Kika sits beside her and rests her head on Y/n’s shoulder. They share one earbud in silence. They compromise! 

- The team once tried to assign bus seats randomly, and Y/N deadpan said, “No.” Just that. One word. They didn’t try it again.

- Y/n has her spot away from the chaos–Jana, Vicky, Salma and Kika– and she loves it

Clothes

- Kika steals Y/n’s hoodies all. the. time.

- Kika’s go-to excuse is always “I forgot I was wearing it!” As if Y/N’s giant Barca hoodie somehow accidentally ends up in her overnight bag every single time.

-  One cold day, she shows up at Y/n’s place looking for one and realises the closet is empty.

- She’s like, “Where are all your hoodies?”

- And Y/n, dead serious, goes, “Babes… they’re all at your house.”

- Kika immediately feels so guilty–she left her girl without a single hoodie in the middle of Spanish winter. 

- Y/N starts taking inventory. She’ll walk into Kika’s place, open her closet, and be like, “One, two, three–are you serious, this one’s from preseason.”

- One time, Kika came to training wearing one of Y/N’s hoodies that still smelled like her, and the other girls wouldn’t stop teasing her for it. Kika was red for hours.

- Y/N pretends she’s annoyed, but the second Kika curls up next to her wearing one, she just kind of melts. Her internal monologue is filled with–disgusting–love.

- “She’s so small. and warm. In my clothes. This is not sustainable. I will die of love.”

- Eventually, Kika starts wearing Y/N’s old team-issued hoodie at post-match interviews. 

- Y/N sees a photo on Twitter and just stares at it like she’s been personally attacked.

- She liked it, thought, seeing her name on Kika’s back.

..

Feedback is very very much appreciated and needed!!

Masterlist here

[hunnysnoops]

ミ★ 𝒟𝒶𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒦𝓎𝓁𝑒 𝐵𝓇𝑜𝒻𝓁𝑜𝓋𝓈𝓀𝒾 𝐻𝒞𝓈 ★彡

(+some general)

MASTERLIST

Doesn’t crush often but when he does, he crushes hard

Hot take- we would not choose a study date as a first date

^ I see him as the kinda guy who dates with a long term goal in mind and would want to get to know someone well off the bat

^ Bro is not messing around- he would want a first date where the two of you talk a lot and he can get to know you before committing

^I think his ideal first date would be a movie then a cafe/restaurant. Movie first so there’s a couple hours to ease the awkward first date tension and then coffee/food to talk about the movie and eventually branch the conversation out

He sends those cryptic texts like “be alert…” when there was mugging in town or something

Tags you in every post he sees. You’ll wake up and check social media to thirty messages in your inbox and they’re all from Kyle

The kinda guy to be like “Did you look at the post I sent you about the guy at the bus stop?”

Got his account banned on Twitter and went absolutely ballistic while you tried to calm him down

Runs Hay Day like it’s the navy

Definitely the type to be hooked on his phone until it dies and then complain that you’re on yours “Bro, let’s just talk about the political and economic state of the world right now…”

This might be another hot take but I don’t think he would want a childish partner, he want to be your boyfriend not your dad

^Having to zip up your coat, tie your shoelaces, or cut your food- I don’t think he would mind doing it a couple times but repeating offences would irritate him

Not big on pet names

^ I think he would be one to call you ‘bro’ ‘man’ and ‘dude’ a lot just out of habit but would probably just call you an abbreviation of your name if anything

^ perhaps babe on very rare occasion

HATES PDA

^ I fear I may have many hot takes in this post

^He would be pretty touchy in private but in public? Hell no

^ talks shit about couples who can’t keep their hands off each other in public and absentmindedly wrinkles his nose in disgust

^ the only PDA he would accept is hand holding or a quick hug

Calls and FaceTimes you out of the blue but will immediately hang up if you’re busy or with other people and call back later

He is either the most sound sleeper ever or he wakes up at the drop a pin- either way, he always ends up slinging his lanky arms around you

He’s weirdly good with hair and would have no problem braiding yours or styling it

Super supportive aspiration wise

^ sports games? He’s the loudest in the crowd. Theatre? He’s on the edge of his seat watching. Art? He’s looking at your creations like they’re in a museum.

If you have bad habits (smoking, drinking, etc.) he would try to ease you out of them but if that fails it would definitely cause conflict in the relationship

Has his moments where he snaps at you

Fights wouldn’t be often but they would be big

He would enjoy playful banter and someone who challenges him to improve

I think he would enjoy a lot of the lower beats of the relationship like staying in to watch movies, cooking together, walking and talking, silently enjoying each others company, etc.

He posts Instagram carrousels and every single one has a picture of you in it

Doesn’t even entertain people who try to flirt with him “No, thanks.” “I’m dating someone.” “I’m good.”

Shows you Reddit posts and complains about how obviously fake they are

Gets irritated by bad acting in movies “He called her Courtney Dove, fucking idiot.” “Why does she chew like that?” “Her accent sounds fake.”

Has a secret TikTok account and doesn’t know that you watch his videos on a fake account

He is well aware of rage bait but it still makes him mad because so many people fall for it so he’ll end up commenting anyways

Easily jealous

^ if he sees you talking to another guy he doesn’t trust he’ll insert himself into the conversation and pretend he knows what’s going on

Checks up on you a lot

^ He just has to know that you're okay, he has to be sure that you're safe and that if something were to happen, you would call him without thinking twice.

He wants to communicate but he’s lowkey really bad at it and can’t get in an argument with you without yelling

I imagine him as a runner

^ he’ll probably run to your house at ungodly hours, drink some water, give you a kiss, and keep running

^also lovvvves to show you his stats

He’s really good at cooking and always takes control when you two are cooking/baking together

Didn’t want to dress up on Halloween but you ultimately coerced him into doing a corny couples costume

Has a longer skincare routine than you do

He’s one of those guys to pretend to hate the reality shows and soap operas that you watch- he’ll peak from his phone, then stand from behind the couch and then he’s fully invested in the plot

[saveyourblood]

Pretty Boy - Ch 5 (Buddie x Reader)

Summary: You can feel Buck staring. When your eyes meet his, you realize he’s staring at your hand, which is still on Eddie’s knee. You slowly retreat, which makes Buck turn his attention to your face. You smile softly. He just looks out the window. The one where you’re an advanced paramedic, Buck and Eddie are firefighters, and you think you might be in love with both of them.

Ch 1 | Ch 2 | Ch 3 | Ch 4

Chapter Summary: There's a sudden divide between you and Buck.

A/N: Me? Desperate for validation? It's more likely than you think Word Count: 3.8k Warnings: none

You make your way through more of the rubble, taking frequent breaks in an attempt to conserve your energy. It’s probably been less than an hour, but it feels like you’ve been trapped for days. You used most of your effort to free Russ, which proved futile, so now you’re simply exhausted.

At some point, you see a glimpse of light between two pieces of crumbled concrete. Using the blunt side of your axe, you begin chipping away at the space. More light begins to break through. The sight causes you to catch your second wind, and you begin swinging harder. Eventually, you make a hole big enough for you to crawl through.

You climb over some of the bigger pieces of the fallen structure and slip between others. You sneak between a few vehicles. You keep walking, though you aren’t sure what you’re looking for. Something in you gut is pulling you in this direction, and you have nothing else to go off of, so you’re going with it.

You hear a cough.

Your head snaps in the direction of the sound. You start moving so quickly that you stumble a little and have to slow yourself down so you don’t break an ankle. You shine your flashlight to the side. It lands on a little girl. She squints her eyes and lifts a hand to block out the brightness.

“Kat?” You ask.

She nods.

You laugh. You laugh with joy. You laugh with relief. You laugh until a few tears spring into your eyes. You cut yourself off—no way are you breaking down in front her. You’ve both come this far, and you’re going to see each other to the end. If you’re saving anyone today, it’s her.

You reach into the inner pocket of your jacket, eternally grateful that you took on the added weight. “You looking for this?”

It’s her shoe.

Kat smiles and nods again.

Kat’s tired, and so are you, but you carry her on your back anyway. You swear that, in the distance, you hear a car alarm, so that’s the direction you head in.

“What if we can’t get out?” Kat asks quietly.

“What? Hey, come on, don’t start talking like that now,” you gently scold. “We’ve already made it through the hard part!”

“I guess…” She says, unsure.

You hear the shifting of rubble, but only a little. You think you might hear voices, too. You take off in that direction.

Concrete shifts, and you see more light—a lot of light. Like, your headlamp times ten. You scramble towards it, ducking a little so as to not hurt Kat.

As the dust settles, you can make out at least ten firefighters standing around the scene. You can’t help but smile.

“Hello fellas,” You say, taking a few more steps forward.

A firefighter from a different crew helps Kat off of you. Your attention immediately focuses on two particular firefighters in front of you, both of which have ‘118’ on their caps.

“Welcome back,” Buck greets with a grin.

You laugh and stumble forward right into his arms. Once again, you find yourself holding back tears. You feel someone pat your back and leave his hand there, and you don’t have to look to know it’s Eddie.

You make it back to the triage area, Kat walking in front of you. The moment she sees her parents, she takes off running. On instinct, you jog behind her, but when you see her collapse into her parents’ arms, you stop and simply watch.

They look over at you and nod. You smile and nod back.

Hen insists on looking you over, testing everything from your range of motion to your vision. Even you surprise yourself a little when you pass with flying colors. Hen steals a quick hug before she gets back to work. You just sit there, dumbfounded. You’re exhausted, but you’re okay. You’re alive.

“Hey you,” Buck says, taking a seat next to you.

Somehow, that’s all it takes for the floodgates to break open.

“Woah, hey, come here,” Buck wraps an arm around your shoulders.

You wrap an arm around his waist and lean your head on his shoulder. You breathe out a few sobs but slowly quiet yourself. You can feel Buck’s lips pressed to the top of your head. You sit up straight, wiping your eyes. Buck keeps his arm around you.

“Sorry,” you whisper, shaking your head a little. “Just… rough day.”

“Russ?” Buck asks quietly.

You smile sadly and nod, a few more tears escaping in the process. “You know he wasn’t even scheduled to work? He just heard about everything and wanted to help. And now he’s dead. Because I couldn’t save him.”

“But you were there for him,” Buck points out, rubbing his hand up and down your arm. “Even if you couldn’t save him, you were there for him. He didn’t die alone. You did that.”

“Yeah, I guess. It just doesn’t feel like enough, you know?”

“Yeah, I know.”

You clear your throat a little. “When I was alone and thought you guys might not find me, I made recordings. I wanted the people I love to hear from me one last time. Can you guess how many I made?”

Buck just watches you. His expression is a mix of intrigue and sympathy.

“Five,” you answer, even though he doesn’t ask. “I made five recordings, one for each of you. That’s it.”

“What about your parents? Siblings?”

“My mom died when she gave birth to me,” you answer. “My dad fell into a bottle. I haven’t spoken to him since I moved away from home seven years ago. People tell me he changed after she died, but… that’s the only way I know him. It makes me feel like I got cheated out of both my parents instead of just one.”

The two of you sit in silence. It’s broken when you laugh.

“I don’t know why the hell I’m telling you all of this,” you chuckle as more tears form. “I guess I just need someone to know that… this job is quite literally my entire life. It’s my passion, my work, my home, and my family. Most of the time, I feel lucky. On days like today, though, it just… scares the hell out of me. Because I’m either gonna die doing what I love, or doing what I love will kill me. I don’t know which one’s worse.”

“I get that feeling,” Buck agrees softly. “I can’t think of anything else I’d rather do. I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather do it with, either.”

Once you all returned to the station, you hopped in the shower. When you got out, Buck was waiting for you in the locker room. He insisted on driving you home, making sure you were okay. When he told you, you rolled your eyes, but your heart swelled. The last thing you want to do is navigate LA traffic, so you accept his offer.

When you both started to leave, you noticed Eddie was making phone calls and texts. You learned that he was trying to find a ride to Christopher’s school; he hasn’t had the chance to buy a vehicle yet.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Eddie asks again as you all get to the parking lot.

“Just get in the damn car, Eddie,” you say.

The ride is a little tense. Eddie touched base with some of the school staff, so he knows Christopher is okay, but it isn’t the same as seeing it for himself. He taps his phone against the car windowsill. You insisted on sitting in the back, and for good reason: you can already feel yourself dozing off.

Buck pulls over, and you look up to see you’ve arrived at the school. Almost before the car is in ‘park’, Eddie flings open the door and runs up the stairs. Christopher is standing in the front hall, a staff member off to the side. Eddie picks him up in a hug, spinning him around.

“They’re really cute,” you mutter, mostly to yourself.

Buck is too busy watching them to even register what you said.

Eddie thanks the staff member before opening the door for Chris. The two make their way back to the car, Christopher a little bit in front of Eddie. For a kid with crutches, he moves quickly; the poor kid is probably ready to go home.

Eddie opens the side door for his son, setting the crutches on the floor. With his father’s help, Christopher joins you in the backseat.

“Chris, these are my friends,” Eddie says, pointing at you and Buck as he introduces you both.

“It’s nice to meet you, Chris,” you smile.

“My dad talks about you. A lot,” Christopher says.

You giggle in surprise. “Does he, now?”

Even in the dark, you can see Eddie’s face get red. “‘You’ as in the 118,” he clarifies.

Buck shakes his head and laughs softly as he pulls away from the curb.

This might be the dumbest call you’ve ever been to, and that’s saying something.

A bunch of women decided to get drunk at 11:30 in the morning, and as a fun drunk activity, one of them stuck her head in a tailpipe. The only problem is she couldn’t get it out, so now it’s the LAFD’s problem. Medically, she’s clear, so you and Hen stand back and let the boys do their thing. Unfortunately, the drunk girl has drunk friends and said drunk friends are relentlessly hitting on Eddie and Buck.

“What are you so tense for?” Hen asks.

“I’m not.”

You both know it’s a lie. Until she said it, though, you didn’t realize that your jaw was clenched and your brow furrowed. You roll your shoulders and turn your neck a few times, hoping it relaxes your muscles.

The women are bothering you. And it’s really stupid and childish, especially considering that neither Buck nor Eddie is your boyfriend. They’re just your coworkers, so you have literally no right to get upset that women besides yourself find them attractive.

“I uh, I don’t think I’m what you’re looking for,” Eddie politely rejects one of them. “I have a son.”

“I’m gonna puke!” The woman says from inside the tailpipe.

“You better not!” One of her friends shouts. “These fire guys are totally hot.”

You can feel your jaw start to tense again.

After getting the woman free from the tailpipe, you all begin to make your way back to the engine. Buck and Eddie are a few steps in front of you. They’re trying to be discrete, but you make out every word.

“Hey, so is your son really the reason you don’t date?” Buck asks.

“That, and.. They weren’t my type,” Eddie shrugs.

“I’m talking in general,” Buck continues.

“It’s complicated when you have a kid.”

“Come on, that’s a weak excuse.”

The conversation is cut short when Eddie gets a phone call. He takes a few steps away while you and Buck linger behind. You don’t have to hear anything to see Eddie’s body language change. Buck sends you a knowing glance.

It’s about Christopher.

It’s always weird going past the ER of a hospital. It feels like you’re in forbidden territory, like you’ve stepped outside your bounds. The nice thing about having few family members is you barely have to cross the picket line.

You, Buck, and Eddie get off the elevator. Eddie is a few steps ahead and quickly sees his aunt in a nearby waiting area. They chat a little, and you can see that Christopher is standing near a few nurses, completely eating up the attention. It makes you smile.

Eddie’s aunt explains that it’s his grandmother who’s in the hospital—broken hip. When she was watching Christopher and called him inside, she slipped on a porch step. Christopher had to call 911.

“Who’s this with you?” His aunt asks, turning her attention to you and Buck.

“We work together,” Eddie explains after saying your names.

“Mmm, I thought you just dressed alike.”

“This is my Aunt Josefina—Pepa,” Eddie introduces.

“Hi,” you both say politely.

Pepa begins to lecture Eddie about leaving Christopher with his grandmother. You can tell Eddie feels bad, but you can also tell he has no other options. He dismisses himself from the conversation by meeting up with Christopher.

“Must be rough,” Buck remarks.

“Raising any child alone is rough,” Pepa agrees.

“Eddie’s a saint,” You praise.

Pepa smiles. It’s bittersweet. “I pray for him anyway.”

Christopher ends up spending some time at the station, and it’s one of the best shifts you’ve had in a long time. Eddie’s aunt was busy working when his shift started, and with his grandmother still in the hospital, he truly had nowhere else to take him. It was either bringing his son to work or calling in from work to watch his son. Eddie chose the former.

You’re able to take him on a simple MVC call with no suspected injuries. As you all work to free the drivers and passengers, Bobby explains everything to Christopher. He’s standing on the ground while Christopher stands on part of the firetruck, holding one of the rails for stability. Bobby has an arm around him for the same reason.

When you get back to the station, you make him a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch. He approves. Then, Chim swoops in and teaches him how to play pinball. At some point, all of you are standing around the firepole, helping Christopher slide down it.

Pepa shows up, and the fun is over. Before Eddie walks them out, he pulls Cap into a hug. You and Buck look at each other and smile.

“This was a really nice idea, Buck.”

“Eh, I figured we could all use a little stress relief,” Buck shrugs.

“Well, clearly Eddie appreciates it. I guess it really does take a village.”

Buck nods in response and begins to walk away.

“I’m thinking of going to nursing school,” you blurt out.

He turns back to face you. “What?”

You clear your throat. This wasn’t how you planned on telling him, just springing it on him in a random conversation. You knew that if you didn’t say something soon, he would hear it from someone else first. You definitely didn’t want that.

“You remember that conversation we had at breakfast a few weeks ago? You know, the one about what we’d be doing if we didn’t work at the 118?”

“You wanna be a nurse?” Buck frowns. “I mean, nurses are great; Maddie’s a nurse. Or, well, she was. You just… don’t seem the type.”

“Uh, yeah, I’ve kind of always been interested in flight nursing. You know, like, going up in a helicopter, responding to scene calls, that sort of thing,” you explain as you wring your hands.

“So that means you wouldn’t work here anymore.”

“That’s… a long ways down the line. Like, at least 18 months, probably closer to 2 years. Bobby said I could always stay on casually, pick up shifts whenever I want.”

“You already talked to Bobby,” Buck rubs his neck. “You must be pretty serious about this, then.”

“I guess,” you shrug. You’re trying to sound casual, but the thumping of your heart in your chest doesn’t cease.

Buck smiles. The expression doesn’t meet his eyes. “I hope everything works out the way you want it to.”

This time, he walks away for good, leaving you with a bitter taste on your tongue.

The 118 is called to a helicopter crash site. The pilot tried to make an emergency landing in a park football field but landed in the bleachers instead. After Buck pulls one of the victims from the scene, you do an assessment and quickly realize that, by some miracle, she’s completely fine.

Buck makes his way over to the two of you. “Hey, do me a favor and say ‘And on the 405, speeds are under five miles an hour, making your morning commute a rough one.’"

You look over at him with a raised eyebrow. “Seriously?”

“I-I know that voice. It's, uh, it's Taylor Kelly reporting, right? Skywitness News Eight,” Buck says, pointing back to the helicopter.

“That’s me,” Taylor says with a soft chuckle.

“Wow. Um, it's weird to hear that voice come out of a face.”

Taylor laughs again. “Thank you?”

They’re flirting. You clench your teeth together so hard you think your jaw might pop. You start randomly tossing supplies back into your bag, zip it up, and hop back into the rig before you can hear the end of the conversation.

The next time you see Taylor, she’s at the station. She doesn’t come alone, either—a man holding a television camera is a few steps behind her.

The first one to approach her is Buck, of course. Then Eddie, Chim, Hen, and finally, Bobby. You watch everything happen from the loft; there’s no way you’ll willingly engage in whatever conversation they’re having.

Bobby makes his way up the stairs.

“What’s all that about?” You ask as he walks by.

“Ms. Kelly wants to do a story on the 118,” Bobby says.

You frown. “Is she even allowed to film in here?”

“The chief’s office is on hold. Something tells me that we’ll be seeing quite a bit of her and her cameraman the next few days.”

Bobby’s already gone, but you still roll your eyes.

Taylor manages to track down everyone and get an interview: everyone except you and Captain Nash. She follows along on a few calls, on which you can mostly ignore her. It's much harder to ignore her when she corners you in the loft.

You’re eating breakfast alone at the kitchen island when Taylor bombards you, her cameraman beside her like always. She gives you a massive grin, and something about how it looks makes you nauseous.

“Can we have a few minutes with you?” She asks, still smiling.

“No,” you respond simply.

“...No?”

“No,” you repeat, taking a sip of your coffee. It’s cold.

“Look, I know this is probably a little awkward and uncomfortable-”

“It’s not,” you interrupt as you stand. “I just don’t want to talk to you.”

You head towards the coffee pot to warm your cup. You refill it and take a sip as you lean against the counter. Taylor just stares at you.

“I want you to know I only have one goal here: to tell a story. Your story,” Taylor says, forcing the smile back on her face.

“Oh, really?” You ask, setting your coffee on the counter behind you. You push off of the counter so you can approach Taylor. “And uh, how much money do you think you can make telling my story?”

“Excuse me?”

“That’s what this about, right?” you challenge. “You have a chance to change the trajectory of your career. You can go from the girl who talks about traffic to the woman who sheds a light on the unsung heroes. You’d be stupid not to jump on that opportunity.”

Taylor looks at you. “I suppose.”

“And I would be stupid if I actually believed you have good intentions,” you continue, “because you don’t give a damn about us. You don’t care about the 118 or what we do everyday—you care about yourself. So no, I don’t have a minute and I don’t want to talk to you.”

“You missed the show.”

You open your locker with a huff. You shrug as you pick up your shoes. “Bummer.”

“You were barely in it,” Buck continues. “Something tells me that wasn’t exactly an accident.”

You take a seat on the bench so you can change your shoes. “What makes you say that?”

The only sound in the room is you kicking off your boots and slipping into your converse. You begin tying the laces, then pause.

You look over your shoulder at Buck. “You talked to her, didn’t you?”

Buck looks everywhere but your face.

“You know what I said to her,” you say. It isn’t even a question: you can tell by how he’s acting.

“I just don’t understand why you were so rude to her.”

“Oh my god, seriously, Buck?!” you say, standing up to face him. “Her?!”

He crosses his arms. “What does that mean?”

You scoff and shake your head. “It means you haven’t changed at all.”

“What?”

You pick up your boots and toss them in your locker, which you slam shut. “You heard me.”

“That’s not fair,” he argues, moving his hands to his pockets.

“It’s not?” You ask, cocking your head. “I’m pretty sure a few months ago, you were sleeping with whatever woman fell for the whole ‘hero’ act. So how exactly have you changed?”

“Why are you so pissed at me?” Buck asks defensively. “I mean, it’s not like you care enough to stick around.”

Your heart drops into your stomach. “How dare you throw that in my face.”

“Am I wrong?”

“You’re wrong,” you confirm, stepping towards him. “Not that it’s any of your goddamn business, but I haven’t even applied to anything.”

“If it’s not my business, then why’d you make it my business?” Buck provokes. “Why’d you even tell me?”

“Because I thought you were my friend!” you shout. “I thought you would be happy for me!”

“Be happy that you want to leave?”

“Be happy that I want more for myself!”

“Well, I’m not happy,” Buck says, crossing his arms again. “You say that we’re your family, and then a few weeks later, you’re talking about other jobs. I mean, was that just a bunch of bullshit?”

You scoff again, and this time, angry tears fill your eyes. “Fuck you, Evan.”

“Yeah, whatever,” he says, turning to the door.

There are a million things you want to say. But then, you remember: you’ve already said them.

You reach into your pocket and come back with your phone. As Buck walks away, you hit the ‘play’ button on a recording you never wanted to listen to.

'Pretty Boy,' your voice in the recording crackles.

Buck stops and turns around.

'Evan Buckley… where do I even start with you? I’m not gonna lie: I really didn’t like you when we first met. And that’s funny, because now, you’re probably one of the most important people in my life. You definitely proved me wrong, man: you were good. You are good. And you have to keep being good, okay? I might not be there to see it anymore, but you should still do it. Do it for the both of us, will ya?'

You hit the ‘pause’ button and stuff your phone back into your pocket.

“You can be pissed at me all you want, but don’t you ever say that I don’t care about this job,” you whisper as you walk towards him. You poke a finger into his chest. “Don’t ever say that I don’t care about you.”

“I-”

Your shoulder slams into his as you walk out.

Ch 6

[fandomtherapy44]

Loid Forger x Fem! Reader: Spy Confession's

Paring: Loid forger x Fem! Reader

Warnings: SMUT, Language, small talk about gun

WC:2,362

Reblog Banner and 18+ Banner

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cafekitsune

Summary: Loid, Y/n and Anya Forger are the perfect normal family. Just one thing, it's all fake to help the mission Strix, right? Well, things might spill out in Loid's office.

My dear sweet family, well my fake family. We are the Forgers, my husband Loid Forger aka Twilight, and our daughter Anya, who we adopted from an orphanage and who has brought more joy to my life than I thought was possible. And then there’s me, Agent Ruby Phoenix, but I am fronting as Loid’s wife Y/n Forger for mission: Strix. My job is to make our family look normal and presentable enough for Loid to move in and be friends with Donovan Desmond.

Anya also has a large part to play to become an imperial scholar, but that can take a long time, so in the meantime, I will play my part perfectly as usual. Loid and have been partners on a couple of missions, but it has never been this long or stressful. Also, the fact that I actually like Loid does not help, I can’t help it, he’s so handsome and the best spy after me of course. I genuinely admire him, he has saved me more than just once. And this cosplaying as his wife messes with my head and feelings more than usual. 

“Good morning Y/n.” He greets me as he sips his coffee while reading his newspaper. 

“Good morning Loid, did you get any word on your next mission?” On top of the mission strix, we are also called to do mini missions. We really need new agents.

“Yes, I’ll be leaving after work today, so you and Anya will be on your own for dinner. Speaking of, I have to get her up, or she’ll be late for school.” He ruffles the newspaper, puts it down, and snaps into the caring father role. He would never admit it, but he actually enjoys this mundane life, and so do I.

“Morning mama.” Sleepy Anya greets me while rubbing her eyes.

“Good morning Anya! Guess what? We get to have dinner with just you and me tonight so that means I’ll make something special!” I excitedly tell her, hoping to wake her up since the bus is just forty-five minutes away. 

“Really! Yay!” She jumps up and down, waking up Bond, our big fluffy white dog.

“Borf! Borf!” I go over to pet him to calm him down.

“Don’t worry Bond, Anya is just excited. But you're such a good protector aren’t you boy.” He jumps on top of me to lick me. 

“Borf! Borf!” 

“Ah Bond, stop you're getting your slober all over me!” I laughed a real laugh which hadn’t happened in a long time. At that moment, Loid stepped out of his room dressed for the day.

“Wow, I haven’t heard that in… I can’t even remember the last time. It’s nice, I miss it.”  Loid thought to himself, and of course, Anya heard it.

“Ah! Does papa actually like Mama? I got to help them!”  Without her parents noticing, she slips in the kitchen, takes Loid’s lunch, and hides it. “Hehe my plan is in action I’m just like Papa.”

Eventually, Loid and Anya leave for school and work, and I have the day off from my front job. It’s perfect, I've been meaning to clean this place in tip-top shape. To be the ideal typical family, the house must be clean. I start with the kitchen. I am cleaning the fridge when I move the eggs, I see Loid’s lunch.

“Did he really leave his lunch? Damn the agency really need’s to give him a break. Well, I guess I just will need to bring it to him.” I smile to myself and put on my jacket.

“Hold the fort down Bond!” I yell as I leave.

“Borf!”

Walking into the hospital, everyone recognizes me as Mrs. Forger.

“Hi Mrs.Forger!” “Hello!” I smile and wave.

“Good afternoon Mrs.Forger!” another nurse waves.

“Yes good afternoon!” I know every one of Loid’s colleagues, it is my job as his wife to know every one of his work “Friends”.

“Mrs. Forger, you're here?” Miss Fiona Frost asks me.

“Yes, my dear silly husband forgot his lunch. Can you believe that?” I joked with her.

“Right very silly.” She responds in a very serious tone. You see from anyone else I would think they're joking with me, but with Fiona Frost I know she’s planning to take my spot from me. Fiona aka Nightfall is another agent in our organization. She is a very skilled spy, and I would say the best, along with Loid and me. The thing is, she also has a huge crush on Loid, so when she heard I got this mission as his wife and not her. Her hatred for me turned into a deep, uncontrollable detestment.

“Could you tell me where he is?” 

“Right of course he’s… just cleaning up in his office.” Cleaning up from what? “You see, I was bringing him ice tea and spilled all over him, so he’s super… wet.” What the ever living fuck is that supposed to mean. I’m usually calm and collected, but hearing her talk like that, I wanted to pull out my pistol, which I always kept on me. “I can take his lunch for him if you like.” She tries to act innocent.

“No, I will. I want to make sure that the stain comes out, so if you could tell people not to disturb us, thank you, Miss. Frost.” With that I speed walk to his office gribbing his lunch bag I know nothing happened Fiona was just being a bitch trying to make me leave so she could swoop in and be the hero. But I can’t help the jealousy from seeping in like that iced tea.

I grab the doorknob and throw it open.

“Ahh! Y/n what are you doing here?” Loid confusingly asked me as he was buttoning up a new shirt. About four buttons still had to go, leaving his muscular, toned chest exposed. I quickly shut the door behind me.

“You uh you left your lunch at home,” I answer, trying not to look.

“I did. I could've sworn I had put it in my bag. Well, thank you anyway.” He takes the bag.

“So you had Ice tea spilled on you, huh, Twilight?” I teasefully bump his shoulder leaning against his desk. We didn’t have to worry about his office being bugged; we checked everywhere before he came, and there is also a secret passageway to HQ from here.

“Stop it, I was distracted so I didn’t have time to stop it.” I think back to what Fiona was wearing, it was a low-cut dress. Loid’s not the type of man to look down women’s dresses, right?

“What was distracting you?” I asked, looking at his stained shirt, thinking about how I was going to get the stain out, trying to protect myself from his answer.

“I was looking over tonight’s mission notes. Why?” Oh thank God.

“Oh, no reason, just curious. Well, you have your lunch. Good luck on your mission.” With that, I turned to make my leave. 

“Wait Y/n-” He calls after me. As I turn back, I trip over my own feet and have him catch me. My hand’s land on his chest and his on my waist.

“Got you.” His eyes bore into mine.

“You do.” We didn’t let go.

“Y/n, why did you lie?” Shit I forgot one his many skill’s is being able to tell lie’s even better then me.

“I thought that maybe you were looking down, Miss. Frost’s shirt.” I embarrassingly admit. He take’s my words in.

“Y/n, you know I would never do that even out of Loid Forger.” His grip tightens.

“I know it was stupid.” I can’t seem to make eye contact.

“Why would you even- Y/n do you… like me.” Fuck you know what apaertley when it come’s to the man I’ve had a crush on for year’s I turn into a blubering school girl.

“It doesn’t matter, I let my emotions get in the way of the mission. I’m sorry, I understand if you want Fiona as Mrs.For-” I suddenly feel contact on my lips and it wasn’t a fist like it usually is, it was his lips. It seems the world freezes as our kiss continues. He lets go. 

“I like you too Y/n.” I blush at his words.

“For how long?” I barely let out, my face burning up.

“Since our training days”

“That was fifteen years ago,” I stated, my heart beating even faster.

“Exactly.” I've liked him for about ten years, that means he’s liked me this whole time!

“Really!?”

“You're questioning why I like you? Okay, I’ll tell you. One, you are the most brilliant spy I have ever seen. Two, your kindness in situations where people don’t even deserve it. Three, your beauty is unremarkable. Should I go on? I have about two hundred more.” At that, my heart should have jumped out of my chest. “Also, I can add on your Jeously; it is pretty cute.”

“Jeosuly, I wasn’t jeosuly. That’s ridiculous; I am one of the top spies in the whole world.” I spewed out and we both knew I was lying again. 

“Y/n, can I kiss you again?” He tipped my head to meet his eyes with a delicate touch of his hand.

“At this point if you don’t I’ll shoot you.” He chuckles and kisses me again. Somehow he led me to his desk where my legs hit the edge. I throw my arms around his neck to bring him closer.

His lips were everything I had dreamed they would be. Soft in the middle and rough on the outer from all the hits he takes on them. Without even realising he’s tugging on mine, teeth mashing with mine. And our tongues meet in the middle, wrapping over another. I could still taste the sweet and sour lemon and sugar mixture from the iced tea. We finally let go, our breaths mixing.

“I’m going to show you why you are my wife and why I am going to marry you.” He goes to my neck. I grab his shirt, I had been intimate for my missions before, I also had meaningless sex, but I've never had it real. He lays small kisses down my neck and finally settles down a special spot. And sucks down.

“Ah fuck Loid!” I exclamied and in response he sucks harder pulling at the skin a little. He creates a bruise and licks it to soothe it.

“Do you like that Ruby Phoenix?” His voice was low, sending vibrations down to my core.

“Uh huh.” I just nodded, I was putty in his hands.

“Good.” He continues to lick and bite. Without noticing he stops.

“Why did you stop?” I wined out.

“Because it seems another part of your body needs attention.” He gets on his knees. And his hands go up to my skirt.

“Wait wait!” I grab his hands.

“We can stop, no problem.” 

“It’s not that I just no one’s gone down on me.” 

“Well then I must racticaleized that as your husband.” His fingers pull down my skirt. I al wearing tights and he has no problem to ripe those.

“Green lace panties my favorite.” My face burns again. He grabs my thigh and puts it on his shoulder.  He starts to kiss my inner thigh.

“Is that vanilla lotion?” He asks, like his face wasn’t in the middle of my lap.

“Yes it IS” He licks through the fabric up to my clit.

“Loid!” His tongue runs and up and down the slit. The fabric was now getting wet. He sucks up and latches on my clit. And gives a small tug. On this point my pussy was on fire.

“I think she’s ready for my tongue and finger, don’t you think?” I just nod and he grabs my panties and tosses them off. Tongue plunges deep into me. He starts to push in and out slowly and makes rings in me. I was a whole mess. I go to his blond locks to pull him in more. It then starts to go faster. Liquid spilled out of me and it was dribbling down his chin. He was eating me out like he was starved.

“Tastes so good.” My clit get’s light taps to drive me further over the edge. He stops again.

“Loid please!” I was about to combust if I didn't get my realsie soon. 

“I know babe I know just let me do this.” He fingers slide in. Two.

I grab his wrist, not used to the thickness. He just lets them sit there for a second for me to adjust to them. I couldnt imagine his cock.

“I’m going to start pumping them kay?” I nod and he starts pumping up. My pussy clamps over them. His fingers pet my walls, looking for a specific spot. He jams up and finds it.

“SHIT its right there Loid!” I practically screamed out. He pumps faster and faster. My pussy is slodge at this point. His other hand goes to my clit to tease it. And my hips desperately jump forward. Wanting all of it. Fingers in and out and making small rings on my clit I was about to cum.

“Loid I’m close.” At that he kisses me sweetly to hide my moan. At that pump and circle I came.

“MHH!” I squirted all over his hand and desk. We depart from each other.

“So did I perform my husband duties well?” He could be such a teasing asshole sometimes.

“I think so…” I look over the desk. “Sorry.” 

“Don’t be, there's more coming.” I seriously think I'll have a heart attack.

“Loid?”

“Yeah?”

“Be careful on your mission tonight.” With a kiss on his cheek, I cleaned myself up and left feeling like this fake marriage just became very real.

“Mama, I’m home,” Anya called out, entering our house.

“Hi Anya, I’m just making dinner!” I smiled while stirring the soup pot. “Man, I'm sure happy Loid forgot his lunch.”  

“Ah! My plan worked once again, the world is saved thanks to me.” 

I also have smut Gojo fics if you like! Valentine's Day & Work Rivals

[naturesapphic]

Hellooooo I would like to request Billie x reader based off by the song TMW by Avenoir so basically them arguing over everything they been off and on for year’s now and the reader (y/n) changed her ways but Billie not so much (y/n) wishes things would go back to when they first started dating ++whatever you come up with is fine !!!

Letting Go

Billie eilish x fem!reader

Warnings: angst, mentions of cheating, neglect, toxic relationships, no happy ending :( this hurt to write lol

“I’m trying to get closer but nothing would change”

You and Billie have been on and off for years now. The two of you met each other when y’all were sixteen years old and now y’all are twenty-two. The beginning of the relationship was great, everything was going right, but when billie became more popular, the fame and stress got to her. She would distance herself away from you, hang out with her friends over you, snap at you, etc. but you weren’t any better than her. You would yell, pick fights, ignore her, or try to start things, but you eventually got the help you needed to be better, however, billie did not.

“Don’t know what you think I’m supposed to do. When I’m thinking about you everyday”

The relationship was toxic and you both knew that, y’all just couldn’t end it. Y’all were so attached to each other that it was unhealthy, especially from the start. You begged Billie to get help so she would feel better about herself and treat the people she loves right. She promised you she would but she never did. When she would be on tour, she said that she wasn’t allowed to take anyone with her besides family but you saw how she took some of her friends with her which stung. When she left you thought about her every second of everyday and when she came back she would be all lovey dovey making you believe she had changed.

“Are you serious? I know where you’ve been. Girl, you’re kidding. You don’t have to pretend”

Billie always came home late while you waited for her in the living room worried sick that something might have happened to her. She would always shrug it off and tell you it’s no big deal but you could smell perfume that wasn’t yours or hers. You immediately thought she was just all over her friends but you genuinely didn’t want to think she may have cheated. She couldn’t. Right?

“So tell me why'd you rather leave than fix some things? I hate your friends, they bring the distance in. Unlucky for us, that was all we needed”

You confronted her about it and she said she was just with her friends. She even called them and they told you stop being a jealous bitch and to let Billie have fun. Your mouth dropped open in shock at their words but what even shocked you more was when Billie was silent when they called you those horrific names. When she hung up she told you she needed space and she left with you crying on the floor, wondering where it all went wrong.

“Please tell me why you're giving me the coldest stare. You act as if I was never there, And sure enough, you're the one to blame”

It has been weeks since billie had left y’all’s apartment. You didn’t know if she still needed space or that she broke up with you. This used to happen all the time before but since you’ve been getting better and healthier, you realized that it’s not worth all the pain and tears. One day you saw her out with her friends and when she glanced over at you, she gave you the most coldest glare you’ve ever received. You felt her eyes bore into your soul and she turned back to her friends like nothing happened which crushed you even more.

“Because I changed. And you're still the same. You're the same. I'm tryna refrain. Why couldn't you wait? Wait for me. Wait for me”

The next time you saw her was when you texted her to meet up at y’all’s favorite place. When she arrived she looked as beautiful as ever and you felt your heart beat fast. You told her that it was over and she fell to her knees for forgiveness. She told you that she will wait for you and that she will fight for your love back. Billie said she would go to therapy and change for you. The look in her eyes felt real and you believed her until it wasn’t even two weeks later, you saw her with another girl. It’s like she took your heart out with her bare claws and crushed it until it bled, making your heart official break. She caught you staring and you looked away immediately, rushing outside to get into your car to drive home. You started the engine and looked up to see her there staring at you with a unkown look in her eyes. Before she could come any closer you sped off into the distance and drove back to the apartment you once shared with her.

“Tell me why?”

A/n: whewwwww this was interesting to write. It’s crazy because it didn’t really take me long at all to write this which was pretty cool. So thank you anon for the request and I hope you liked it. I changed it up a bit too. I hope the rest of y’all enjoyed it too :) remember to stay hydrated and to rest! I love y’all mwah!

[itsjustlux]

Screw It, Tony Baddingham Analysis

Written before I made my alt for this kind of thing and don't feel like deleting it. Enjoy.

** TW for unhealthy power dynamics and discussions of ab*se/violence/violence towards women. Honestly, the man is just a walking warning, read accordingly **

Let's talk Tony. Because I can't help but be constantly intrigued by this simultaneously devastatingly sexy and utterly rizz-less (did I use that right? Kids these days...) sad wet cat creature.

He's relatable. Understandable. Someone who's been constantly put on the outs for being "new money". As someone who's spent her whole life trying to fit into academia and traditionally wealthy spaces and failing spectacularly, I understand that. And I understand the thought process that having enough money, and enough status will finally make it go away. They can't make fun of you if you're the one in control. If you're the one calling the shots.

I see Tony as a character fundamentally motivated by deep, deep insecurity. We don't know much about his childhood (season 2 I beg), but I would put a fair amount of money on him being the sort of traditionally bullied nerdy kid. The kind that starts out well-meaning, but eventually just fucking snaps. Tony is the kind of character determined to either make those around him fall in line or pay the price. When put through this lens, he just sort of looks like a child throwing a temper tantrum.

Because, while Tony's motivations come from a reasonable place, the actions he takes are so far out of the left field he blasts himself out of sympathetic morally grey dude territory straight into the land of big bad evil guys like a member of Team Rocket. See, it's Tony's continuous feeding of his bottled-up resentment and shame that fuel his ego and general shittiness. He is capable of being a decent human being. Everyone is capable of that, I think. But he's trapped himself in a cycle of rage and isolation. The more angry he gets, the more people will leave him. The more that happens, the more isolated and ashamed he becomes. The more that happens, the more angry he gets. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

It's why we get that sort of switching on and off of different personalities. That sad, wet cat creature I mentioned in the introduction? That's who Tony really is, underneath all his schemes. When you see that, you're seeing a genuine representation of what's going on inside his head. When he's angry and cruel, that's who he really is. Everything else is an act. Charming, confident Tony? A lie. Sweet, sympathetic Tony? A lie. Any time he needs something from someone, he puts on that charismatic personality. If he needs to draw them in, to pull them in closer so he can feel better about himself, he puts on an act. (Bonus points that DT is so good at what he does that it works on the audience, too)

The irony, of course, is that if any of that behavior was genuine, he'd probably have a hell of a lot of an easier time getting what he wants.

Oh and that last scene? Isn't that just the perfect epitome of all of this? Because it's a result of him trying and failing to pull in Cameron one final time, first with that false personality, and then with who he really is. And, of course, who he is is Not Great (TM), and she knows that. So, he's screwed from the outset. And she hits him with the goddamn trophy, the physical representation of what he's achieved. Proof that he can do more, that he is more than some misfit kid. Demonstrating once and for all that no, Tony. You will never be more than what you are. What you have always been. Even while your show plays in the background, even in your giant office, none of it matters. You have lost, and you will always lose. You will lose the girl, you will lose the company, you will lose the legacy. All of it.

So, now it's time for a little customary speculation. In the event he survives (and that's reliant on like...several factors so this all might be moot), I can see a few different directions for his character. Full disclosure, I haven't read the books. So, this is purely going off of the show and what they've put forward. There are a few places we know we're going to end up. Taggie/Rupert is endgame, Tony will 'lose' again in some fashion, and Cameron/Tony is pretty obviously done. The most likely scenario is that Tony will continue to lash out, and may become an even bigger threat now that he's heartbroken. Some grand final attempt to hurt his rivals, and then some final crushing defeat. I could also see them taking the route of a more obsessive Tony. Some Kilgrave vibes towards Cameron could be horrifying, but not unexpected. It would really push the question of how much he actually cares for her versus how much he thinks he cares for her. All of this keeping in mind he's probably going to have further conflicts with his wife, who's the only one who sees the real Tony and isn't scared off by it. Whatever happens, it'll be interesting.

I'll definitely be tuning in. ;)

[definitelynotafurinasimp]

Hello hello!

I saw your “Them comforting reader after a long day” post and i thought how about a “reader comforts them after a long day” with Furina/Mona and whoever you choose. I’m gonna go back to bing read your posts now! Take care!

Comforting them after a long day

characters: Furina / Mona x gn!reader (separate)

warnings: maybe slight hurt/comfort, but mostly fluff

a/n: Couldn't exactly go the full comforting route in Mona's path, bc let's be honest. That girl is too proud to show even a little bit of weakness or vulnerability, but this should do as well.

Oh, also: FINALLY A REQUEST FOR MONA I LOVE HER SO MUCH I- SOJDVNIJSDVNSIDVNSIDJVNIJSDNV

Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Furina

Even though Furina had promised herself not to hide behind a facade any longer, there were times she instinctively fell back on her old habits, the 500 year old autopilot that made it possible for her to keep her secret for so long not disappearing overnight. So when she finally closed the doors to her apartment, only to immediately turn around, lean onto them and let gravity do its job until she had slid down to a sitting position, Furina finally closed her eyes before letting out a heavy sigh she had held back for far too long.

“That was a big one. Want to talk about it?” Your voice suddenly rang out, causing her eyes to snap open and quickly land on your silhouette in the hallway as she struggled to leap back up, embarrassment flaming up in her as she tried her best to play it off as if nothing happened, only for her to end up leaning awkwardly against the door.

“Want to talk about what?” Furina shot back immediately, only to silently cringe at the way her words came out, putting on a smile as she slowly took off her shoes and coat and made her way over to the living room, being closely followed by you.

“If you don’t want to talk about it, it’s also fine. Can I take your hand for a bit?” You eventually stated with an understanding smile, grabbing her head once she gave you a nod and starting to massage it by pressing your thumbs against different spots.

It wasn’t like Furina didn’t want to tell you… actually getting her complaints off her chest probably wouldn’t feel so bad. There was nothing stopping her except old habits and the fear something bad might happen once she opened up, that she inherited from her “former life” as Fontaine’s Archon.

“ No, I want to. But I’ll warn you. It might be a long and ultimately boring tale, so are you sure you want to list–” Furina interrupted her melancholic monologue when you pressed against a particular point on her hand, causing her to suddenly yelp in pain as you briefly stopped and looked up at her once again, your face asking her if you should stop. Just like with her opening up, your hand-massage was painful, yet also felt… pleasant and before long she signaled you to continue before reopening her mouth. “–so are you sure you want to listen to it?”

Without a moment of hesitation you responded, giving her a determined nod as you continued to carefully massage the same spot until stopped being painful, showing Furina one last encouraging smile until her complaints and worries started to pour out of her mouth. The former Archon talking until she felt the corners of her mouth dry up, with you intently listening to each and every one of her words.

…Maybe being more open every once in a while didn’t feel too bad.

Mona

Being an Astrologer was what Mona had always dreamed of being, so when it came to it, she wasn’t scared of pouring every single second of her free time into her work, even when chances were her research would reach a dead-end. Because even with fate ordaining everything that ever happened or still lied in the future, there was no way of knowing how things were going to turn out without at least giving them a shot.

So having her the last couple of weeks worth of work turned out to be for nothing when it became clear it wasn’t going anywhere was nothing Mona was unfamiliar with. It was simply a part of her job after all… but even though the great Astrologer Mona Megistus would never admit to being bothered by setbacks, you knew her better than to fall for her unaffected facade.

“Do you have ingredients at home?” You suddenly asked in the middle of your walk, immediately gaining Mona’s attention as she quickly got lost in thought, trying to remember what food she had used up and what still remained, only to eventually give up and shrug her shoulders, letting out a small sigh as she straightened her hat.

“There might still be some left. I can’t say for sure though, keeping stock of my supplies wasn’t exactly something I kept in mind these last few days,” she admitted only for you to quickly whip around your head, a smile adorning your lips as you came up with a suggestion.

“Let’s go out and eat something! That’s something we didn’t do in quite a while.” Considering Mona’s thoughtful look and how she paused in her tracks for a few seconds, it was fair to say that she wasn’t completely against your proposal, even if you were sure it would still require a lot of convincing to get her to finally agree.

“I’m not sure. Going out to eat when you could just as well buy ingredients and cook something is a waste of money isn’t it?” She hesitantly responded, still pondering as her fingers continued to scratch her chin. Truth be told. You couldn’t agree with her more. You had recently spent a lot of your money on things that in hindsight didn’t exactly prove to be the wisest investments, but even so, you felt as if it was your duty to get Mona to eat something tasty today, even if it meant eating nothing but bread and butter for a few days.

You knew Mona better than to not notice how demoralized she seemed the last few days, her sudden mood change and her increase in free time coinciding too well for it to mean anything except her latest research turning out to be for naught. Of course you knew better than to confront her directly about it… something that would only lead to Mona getting defensive as she’d deny feeling down about anything, too proud and stubborn to open up. And so, the only option left was for you to do what you did best.

“I know… But you’ve been so busy these last few weeks so I couldn’t see you all that much and... I’ve missed you,” you explained while trying your best impression of a puppy, “So can we please go out today?” When you saw Mona’s face heat up slightly as she quickly glanced around the two of you, looking if there was anyone in earshot, you knew your plan turned out to be a success, having to do your best to stop your lips from curling up into a smile when she let out a yet another deep sigh. 

“Fine, but stop saying embarrassing things. We’re in public.”

[zoeykallus]

Hey hey, dear queen! If you have the time and energy, would you mind writing about Fem!Reader being stressed/burned out with Crosshair. Maybe she works a job + the work she is doing with the batch. She's cranky out of energy and when Crosshair complains about that, she snaps/has a breakdown of sorts? How would he react? I wouldn't mind if you did the rest of the batchers in this scenario too, but I know you got much on your plate right now, so I picked my favorite 😊 thanks dear!

Aloha!

Oh dear, you have no idea how relatable this is for me these days 😵

I do have a lot on my plate, that's true. And I'm really late with all the requests, I'm sorry. Hm, let me see...

The Bad Batch x Reader - Burnout

Warnings: Hurt/Comfort/Burnout

___________

Life is especially tough right now, with multiple jobs, little to no free time, and too little sleep. This not only affects the body, but also the mood. Of course, your Batcher notices that something is wrong with you.

____________

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

____________

>Master List<

Hunter

"What's wrong with you? You're so tense and impatient."

The way you quickly turn to look at him makes him pause, startled. Hunter is frozen in his movement and if you weren't so tense, you might find this sight, this moment, amusing.

You finally sigh and say, "I'm tired, and I want to finish here, stop dawdling."

Hunter frowns and resumes normal posture.

"We usually spend longer time loading equipment, chatting and stuff, don't we? Spend time together. When did you stop caring about that?"

He looks crestfallen, and you're sorry for reacting so harshly.

"Hunter, I have more jobs than just this one, I barely have any free time and I just want to go home today, as much as I usually enjoy spending this time here with you. If I miss public transportation again, I'm going to sit around here even longer."

Hunter blinks then sighs softly, of course he understands.

"You're going to break yourself" he says reprovingly and takes the box you just picked up from you, puts it down and reaches for your arm.

Hunter pulls you with him to his speeder.

"We're not done yet," you say, protesting.

"You're done here, I can do the rest on my own," he insists, getting on and waving you over, "Come on, jump on, I'll give you a ride home."

"But-"

"No arguments, get on."

You do as you're told and mumble a small thank you to him, ashamed that you've been barking at him.

You hear him laugh softly and say, "No problem, now hold on tight".

Echo

You don't even have to tell him that you are overworked, he already knows that you have more than one job and that you don't sleep enough. The reproachful look he gives you slowly drives you crazy.

"What's your problem, Echo? Why the hell are you looking at me like that all the time?"

He snorts and says, "I'm waiting for you to keel over at any moment."

Surprised, you pause.

"What?"

"You want me to spell it out? You heard me the first time."

You grab his arm and turn him around to face you as he continues to work.

"Excuse me, mister, what's your problem?"

He pulls away, grabs you by your upper arms and urges you onto a crate, so you can sit down. Echo looks at you so urgently that you forget for a long moment how your voice actually works.

"You need to quit one of your jobs, you can't go on like this. You have rings under your eyes, you're agitated and restless, you seem rushed and overtired. I hope you don't quit this one, but one has to go. Eventually you'll fold, and the thought of you beating yourself up like that makes me angry - that's my problem."

Echo will not back down, no matter how you squirm and argue. He means well and is extremely stubborn and unyielding about it. Don't get into big discussions, you can't win against Echo.

Wrecker

He doesn't notice it as quickly as Echo, but he will notice it. Of course, he's concerned and gets to the bottom of it.

"You want to tell me what's going on with you?" he asks you as you load the equipment.

You look at him questioningly and pick up the next box.

"What's supposed to be going on?"

Wrecker shrugs his broad shoulders and says, "Well, you seem really beat, tired. You're slower than usual, your eyes are all small, so either you've taken some drugs or you've barely slept."

You sigh softly and laugh humorlessly.

"I don't do drugs"

"That's what I thought" Wrecker says directly "So you're not sleeping enough, because you've been having that a lot lately"

"Yeah, my second job is more demanding than I thought"

"A second job huh?"

You nod and grab the next box, but Wrecker takes it out of your hand.

"Today I'm doing this alone" he says sternly.

"But-"

"Don't argue, you're overworked," he growls.

"But-"

"No, not today."

Wrecker will take as much off your hands as he can, but he'll also point out that you're only one person, and can't work for three.

"If you're short on credits we can pool, but credits won't do you any good at all if you wreck yourself."

Tech

He stops in the middle of your work and watches you. Suddenly you hear him sigh. When you look at him, he shakes his head. You are overtired, feeling drained, and already feel that you have no patience today, but you look at him and ask as calmly as you can, "What is it, Tech?"

He shakes his head again and says, "You are particularly slow and sluggish today, our teamwork is not very effective today thanks to you."

Somewhat tense, you say, "My deepest apologies," and continue working.

Tech frowns, adjusts his goggles with his right index finger and asks, "That sounded irritated. Are you irritated?"

You suppress a sigh and say as neutrally as possible, knowing he's not to blame for your condition, "I'm trying not to be."

"So you are?"

Now you do sigh and put down the box of equipment you just picked up.

"Yes, Tech. Can we move on now, please?"

Tech blinks a few times, then resumes. He tries not to tease you further or ask questions for now. But after work, on his way to the barracks, he passes the public transportation stop where he sees you sitting. You are sitting next to the station, your face in your hands. As he gets closer, he hears you sobbing softly. You look up startled from reddened eyes as he says your name.

"What are you doing here?" he asks, puzzled.

"Missed my ride. Now I'm sitting here for an hour, an hour I can't get back."

Tech blinks and asks, "And that's a reason to cry?"

"When you have multiple jobs, no free time, and barely any time to sleep, yes, that is a reason to cry"

His brows move up in surprise.

"Hence the sluggishness and irritability, now I understand the connections, I had wondered" he says quietly.

"Good for you," you say dryly.

Tech disappears for a moment, not two minutes later, however, he is back with his speeder.

"May I offer to drive you home?"

You wipe the tears from your face and laugh.

"That would be awesome, Tech"

As you climb up behind him, he says, "You need to cut back, get rid of at least one of the jobs"

"You say that so easily"

Tech raises his famous finger and says, "How about we sit down at your place and work it all out, find a better option for you?"

You yawn but nod, "Yeah, that might not be a bad idea"

"It is, after all, one of my ideas"

Crosshair

You've been tense all the time today, giving curt answers and even seeming a bit disoriented now and then, as if you had to rearrange yourself. Crosshair observes this critically for quite a while, but says nothing at first. But when you try to put the wrong clip into the blaster for the third time, he's had enough.

"What the hell is wrong with you? That's the wrong mag!"

Crosshair takes the magazine out of your hand and gives you the right one.

You snort in annoyance and say, "Happens to everyone."

"No," he insists, "You usually know these things off the top of your head."

You snap back, "I'm just tired, okay, just let me get on with it"

"You've been beside yourself all day" Crosshair grumbles.

You lower the gun belt you were about to equip and say, "It's just a shitty day today"

"Why?"

"I'm tired"

"You said that already. But why is that? Bad dreams or something?"

He can tell you're about to snap, he's just not sure yet if you're going to fold or freak out. Of course, he notices how hard it is for you to keep it together.

"I have several jobs, not just this one," you finally admit, "Lots of work, hardly any sleep. Every single one of these jobs is pretty demanding in one way or another. My batteries just don't charge anymore"

"Then you have to quit at least one job. It doesn't work like that, you can't go on like that in the long run."

You throw your arms in the air and say, "But I need the credits"

"So you're in a financial bind?"

You pull your shoulders up helplessly.

"Still can't go on like this, you're going to drop dead on me here one of these days, and I'm not cleaning up the mess".

You laugh softly and say, "How empathetic."

"Shall we go over your finances together? Maybe I'll see something you overlooked, a loophole, or a better option in general"

You are so moved, you could almost cry.

"Okay, now don't start crying," Crosshair says immediately, "It's just paperwork, I didn't propose or anything."

You laugh again and finally nod.

"Okay, I'd like to accept that offer."

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310

@misogirl828 @tech-deck

@meshla-madalene

@chxpsi

@thebahdbitch

@nahoney22 @ladykatakuri

@darkangel4121

@ttzamara

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@either-madness-or-brilliance

@ortizshinkaroff

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@hunterssecretrecipe

@heyitsaloy

@greaser-wolf

@extrahotpixels

@hated-by-me

@hunterxcrosshair

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@bebopsworld

@echos-girlfriend

@cpnt616

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@jediknightjana

@pb-jellybeans

@antishadow2021

@sleepycreativewriter

@projectdreamwalker

@1vlouds

@starwarsnerd111

[smiski-collector]

why are you running

pairings: Lamina x Treech (past), Treech X Reader warnings: self-sabotage reader, pining feelings, ghosting

prologue

When Lamina and Treech broke up in second year of college, it was a shell shock for everyone that knew them including you, mostly because you attended high school with them. And also because you knew they were officially dating in sophomore year of high school but definitely had feelings for much longer than that. People on their level of closeness do not develop feelings out of nowhere after all. 

However, you mused, people changed because their breakup was something you did not expect at all. You had a feeling it was going to happen of course, from when Coral would invite you to hang out with the Pack, consisting of herself, Treech, and Tanner as well as mutuals. Her eyes would flicker between Treech and Lamina before going back to you, smiling sheepishly. You had smiled back, hopefully in a comforting manner, being understanding.  

When Lamina left, “To Sweden,” you overheard her saying sweetly, eagerly, “The art program I applied to accepted me and I am leaving early to get used to the environment before I start,” something changed in Treech. You saw it in the science classes you had with him, watching him from a distance. His eyes were sometimes red, voice quieter, and bags darker. 

You felt pity for the guy but did not dare to overstep to help him. He never snapped at you, was always cordial or friendly but that did not mean you could reach out to him about the very obvious breakup. It is a boundary that was clear to everyone that would drift close to the topic. Even his friends that knew the both of them did not push on the topic.  

You only had the chance to bring up Lamina to Treech in your third year at a party hosted by Coriolanus Snow, having been invited by Lucy Gray. She was a social butterfly, having befriended nearly everyone with her chirpy presence, positive energy, and beautiful voice. Their relationship is something you did not want to dissect, as they had been on and off ever since they met at a mixer hosted by Snow’s co-ed fraternity in their freshman year. 

Treech had been at the party, dragged by Coral and Tanner he said, to avoid being miserable that Friday night and begin the process of moving on. You were endeared by his sleepy demeanor, flushed cheeks, and an openness that you would not have normally been privy to. 

He put his face into his palms, bent over his knees, voice muffled as he asked, “But how could I move on when it feels like I would be losing such a big part of myself.” 

“It is not my place to agree or disagree with them,” you say to him, “But I know Coral and from seeing her tough love for her friends, I think it is good to give it a shot. And you wouldn’t be losing yourself, you would be closing one chapter of your life.” 

Treech went quiet after that and nodded off, slumping over on a couch. His head curved dangerously close to your shoulder and you stayed by his side, scooting over to provide distance once he was steadied, and content on pondering life quietly, sipping on your own beverage. Coral eventually came over having spotted a passed out Treech, Tanner following closely behind with a red party cup in hand. They were panting and it was obvious Treech somehow managed to lose them in the party, causing panic to ensue. 

Tanner giggled, poking Treech’s face,  “Sorry about him,” he eventually said, “He doesn’t usually drink at parties, something about not being able to experience it fully.” Coral snorted in agreeance, shaking her head in fondness? Or maybe it was exasperated. 

You smile back at him, waving your red solo cup as you spoke, “It’s all good, I figured he needed someone to talk to.” You may have been a stranger to him and he might not even remember that he spoke to you at all, but you are glad that he at least got some of his worries off of his chest. 

The next day, Treech treated you normally, distantly or so you thought. Because the following day, it was Treech that invited you to hang out instead of Coral. He wanted to get to know you better, he said. You gradually went from hanging out with the Pack, playing music, going to cafes, to hanging out with Treech alone. 

Treech seemed to like your presence and you were not one to ignore your friend’s needs. So when Treech would call you in the middle of the night sobbing about Lamina, you would oblige, listening to his woes and regrets of the relationship. These calls became a regular occurence, expanding to video calls in the middle of the night, not always about Lamina, and you loathe to admit it but you were beginning to develop a crush on him. You couldn’t help it. 

Soon enough, instead of Lamina and Treech, it was you and Treech, with a weekly schedule of going to each other’s place to play board games (“sore loser” he called you teasingly) or to study for the science classes you shared as pre-med tracks. You were shocked when you found out Treech was pre-med but he said it was what his older brother, Cypress, did so he just made time for music. 

By this point, you thought that maybe Treech had moved on. It had been about a year and half since Lamina left and you had entertained the idea of asking him but didn’t dare to bring it up, knowing their history. 

Nothing could have hurt you more than the lack of explanation when Treech stopped texting when he would come over. You felt used. 

You could not hold it against him because you knew Treech did not hurt people on purpose. He just couldn’t help it because Lamina returned from Sweden, she was his comfort, what he was used to. He does still try to include you in his life, a bit differently than before but you were still there. 

You try not to let out an irritated sigh at a cafe table, it was rare to hang out in person with Treech after all. But he continued talking about Lamina, how he thinks he has a chance back with her and you just have to interrupt – “Wellllll, I guess I won’t be seeing you for a while?” 

Your question wasn’t really one, it was a statement and it was confirmed with Treech staring at you with apologetic eyes, an awkward smile on his lips. You try to smile at him but it must come out as a grimace because he is quick to make it up to you. 

“We can hang out next week?” 

Treech stopped all calls after that day. Part of you thinks it is because you made your crush on him too obvious but it can’t be since he still texted to make sure you were still down to hang out. You agreed but changed the location to the school courtyard. It would be empty at this time of the school year but still open to students that were on-campus or needed the space. 

When Treech saw you waiting for him, his face adorned a grin, jogging to reach you. He closed the distance and in a surprising move, wrapped his arms around you in a hug. It was brief but the warmth stayed and you looked up at him in question. He blushed slightly, realizing it must have been out of character for him, “It is my way of saying sorry for ditching you recently.” 

You smile at him endearingly, showing that you accept but giving him a hug of your own. He accepted gratefully wrapping his arms around you before he breaks away from you so he can make his way deeper in the school courtyard. You are receptive to his every word, offering earnest advice when you can, and really taking in today with him. Silence falls upon the two of you every now and then but it is comfortable and not overbearing. You two sit down on a high point of the courtyard, able to see the sunset from where you are and take in the scenery. 

“Hey YN,” Treech starts, “Thanks for being there.” 

It was hard for me were words that went unsaid but you heard it all the same. You shift from one palm to another, kicking up a knee and resting your arm there. 

Eyes still on the sunset that casted a golden light on both of you, you responded, “Yeah… no problem.” 

It was only after a few minutes that you started something you regret a little bit, you didn’t want him to know yet, “Treech?” He hummed in acknowledgement, turning slightly to face you. 

“Thanks for being my friend.” 

There was silence from him and you turn to finally face him, eyes sparkling, with tears or because of the sunlight you do not know. But Treech smiles and returns the statement softly and fondly. 

The rest of the week goes by as normal and everything seems to settle down in senior year. Lamina and Treech, while not back together, are still hanging out with each other everyday, like nothing has changed. If anything, things have drastically improved the two of them and they are happier than ever, although you still see a hopeful gleam in Treech’s eyes when you pass by them with brief yet pleasant exchanges. 

You had grown closer with Coral during your last year, her presence reminds you of a friend that you would be reuniting with soon enough. Her tough love evokes fond memories in you and allows you to be more open with her. 

On graduation day, Treech had been hoping to catch a glimpse of you, wanting to thank you again for raising his spirits when it felt like no one really could. His texts to you went unread and calls unanswered but he understood. Everyone was getting ready to enter the next phase of their lives and preparations had to be made. 

He didn’t have anything to worry about, at least that is what he thought until you failed to walk across the stage to grab your diploma, a tradition that he knew was important to you being the first to have a college degree in your family. He still did not allow himself to panic, he could always talk to you after graduation since he knew where you were. He did not see Coral’s eyes flicker to him and his phone at the post-graduation dinner between friends.

[alwritey-aphrodite]

Paint The Town Blue

Chapter Five of There’s Nothing Like This

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Jamie Tartt x fem!footballer!reader

Warnings: drinking

Word Count: 2.9k

Author’s Note: I love how every Ted Lasso fic series has a gala chapter, we’re so cute like that

The rest of the week passes in a blur of glittering gowns and sweaty training sessions, face masks and bruises. It was surprisingly easy to find a dress for the gala, and you settle on something simple enough so you can hopefully wear it again after looking at the price tag. Training is rough, and you leave every day wondering how you’re able to walk, but your mood had improved considerably after Monday’s episode.

By the time Thursday morning rolls around, you’re nothing more than a bundle of nerves, terrified for the match and the gala and what everyone is going to think of you. You’d always assumed that people’s opinions of you wouldn’t affect you as much as what you think about yourself, but now that seemingly everyone has something negative to say, it’s starting to wear you down. It’s like there are two different forces propelling you forward: one that wants to win and one that needs to prove everyone wrong.

You know your teammates feel the same way.

The dressing room is thrumming with energy and tension about to snap, all of you primed and ready for the match ahead. Your nervous energy has peaked and dissipated after spending time in the dressing room, laughing and smiling with your teammates while you prepare, securing your hair back and waiting for one of the coaches to give the pre-match pep talk even though you’re paying more attention to readying yourself mentally than anything that comes out of their mouths, and you leave the dressing room feeling ready for whatever happens on the pitch.

When you return to the dressing room ninety minutes later, it’s to the jubilant singing of your teammates. It’d been a harsh fight, but you managed to score in the seventieth minute to secure a 1-0 win, pushing you higher in the standings.

“Oi!” Roy breaks through the revelry, “Don’t get too shit-faced tonight, you still have training tomorrow.”

“And free drinks tomorrow night!” Keeley adds as she enters the dressing room, causing another wave of fanfare to erupt, more for the woman herself than her statement.

“So maybe we push off the celebration?” Elena offers, and even though she’s met with a chorus of booing, you all eventually agree that tonight will be for resting and tomorrow can be for celebrating while bringing attention to whatever charity is at the center of the gala.

As much as you want to bask in the glow of the win, you change out of your kit as fast as possible, already dreaming about the warm shower waiting for you at home. Maybe you’ll treat yourself to some takeout instead of whatever leftover meal prep is sitting in your fridge. You say your goodbyes to the girls, congratulating Naomi, your goalkeeper, on all her amazing saves as you leave the dressing room to wait for Mackie in the hallway, where it’s cooler and less crowded and you can breathe deeply for the first time in ninety minutes.

Checking your phone, you see a text from Jamie and are a little embarrassed at how quickly you open it.

Congrats on the win!! You played great today, might have to ask you for some pointers

You hate the way you smile down at your phone as you type a response, reminding yourself that Jamie is your friend and a new one at that.

Thanks! Are you sure you could even handle any more training?

The three little dots appear as Mackie leaves the dressing room, so you close your phone and slip it into your pocket as quickly as possible. Knowing Mackie, she would make everything into a big deal, and you didn’t want to ruin one of your first friendships in Richmond outside of the team just because Mackie loves jumping to conclusions.

Driving home with Mackie is always the perfect way to end your evenings, she always knows if you want quiet or talking or hype music or relaxing music, and even when you don’t talk it’s wonderful to know you have someone next to you. Today, she’s a chatterbox, going on and on about all the calls she thought should have been fouls or yellow cards.

By the time she’s dropping you off, you’re laughing so hard there are tears pouring out of your eyes and you never want to spend a moment apart from her ever again.

“Alright, get out, I wanna go to bed,” Mackie says through the remnants of her laughter, pushing at your shoulder until you leave the car.

Your evening plans are very similar to Mackie’s, and you order takeout before you take a long, hot shower to relax your muscles that had gone into overdrive before you slip into your bed and turn on mind numbing television while you scroll through your phone. You text back and forth with Jamie for a while, confirming that he’s coming to the charity event Keeley has planned for Friday and he tells you that he’s pretty sure Keeley stuck you at the same table as him.

It’s terrifying how nervous that makes you feel, nervous like you’re about to hit the peak of a roller coaster or walk down the aisle in a white gown.

When you wake in the morning, it’s after a solid eight hours of sleep where you were plagued by the strangest dreams of weddings and fancy dresses and cars driven by Jamie Tartt. As odd as your dreams were, it was the best sleep you’d gotten since you arrived in Richmond and you’re finally starting to feel less keyed up.

Training is easy as well, and most of your day is spent reviewing game footage and reevaluating certain tactics and laughing so much you’re a little bit worried you’re going to pee yourself. As serious as you all can be, as anxious as everyone is on match day, it’s hard to feel anything but joy when you’re surrounded by your team and you’re riding high on the win from yesterday and the promise of free booze later.

As everyone’s packing up and showing pictures of dresses and shoes and hairstyles, Keeley pops in, clearly looking frazzled.

“Remember to be on our best behavior, yeah? At least until all the old people get tired and go home,” she smiles then, and you just wish you could tell her that tonight will be perfect and have her believe you.

Your training ended at the same time as the men’s team, giving everyone ample time to get ready for the gala, and you pretend to ignore the way Mackie stares at you when you wave goodbye to Jamie. She drops you off, promising to pick you up at seven and you know she’s refraining from making a joke about you finding a “better date” with a certain striker and you’re grateful for her self control.

When you finally make your way inside, all the stress and pressure from the week, from the month, come crashing down around you but you do your best to work through it, knowing you have a weekend full of absolutely nothing to look forward to. You take your time getting ready, luxuriating in the shower and spending longer than you ever have on your hair and makeup, the threat of a red carpet and paparazzi making bile rise in your throat.

Still, you manage to finish getting ready before Mackie arrives, giving you plenty of time to marinate in your own self doubt and anxiety. Never in your life have you needed to attend an event like this, let alone an event when most of the attention will be on you and your teammates. All you hope is that everything goes smoothly, for your sake and for Keeley’s. You know it’s eating at her how poorly received the women’s team has been, and you know she needs a win from the press.

Hopefully tonight goes well and she raises lots of money for charity before getting absolutely shitfaced with the Greyhounds.

As expected, Mackie arrives right on time, looking absolutely stunning in the suit you’d picked out together on Tuesday. She gives a wolf whistle as you lock your front door and make your way to the car, pausing to give her a little spin so she could see the dress, and you, in all its glory. You’ve never been one for fancy dresses, but Mackie’s reaction makes you think you should dress up more.

The drive to the venue only serves to give your anxiety time to grow, despite the gentle way Mackie tries to distract you with her talks of nonsense. Throughout your years of friendship, she’s always done her best to support you through events and nights like these, even though standing in the spotlight has always come naturally to her. By the time you slip out of the car and spot the photographers and the carpet and the rest of your teammates, you’re on the verge of throwing up and considering making a run for it when Mackie grabs you gently by the arm and steers you towards the carpet.

Finding your team waiting to get their pictures taken, you’re met with excited shouts and whistles and expletives as you and Mackie approach, as if they’re not also dressed to the nines and looking more beautiful than anyone you’ve ever seen. There are a few of the men’s players hanging around and chatting with your teammates, but they usher you forward onto the carpet, letting your team bask in the spotlight for once.

Mackie, as if sensing the anxiety radiating off of you in waves, grabs your hand and pulls you forward, stopping and posing with you until you make it safely to the other side of the carpet. Already overwhelmed, you simply squeeze her hand in silent thanks before dropping it as you make your way inside, dazzled by Keeley’s hard work and dedication.

The entire space is transformed, and what was before an empty, boring ballroom is covered in silver twinkling stars and ambient lighting and a sea of tables complete with numbers and place cards. Keeley truly never ceases to amaze you, and the fact that she could pull all of this off while working at her own PR company and helping to run the Greyhounds’ social media is mind boggling to you. As much as you want to tell her how great of a job she’s done, you can see her bouncing around from table to table and you can’t even imagine the stress she’s under, so you promise yourself you’ll tell her later.

When you finally find your table in the sea of others, Jamie, Colin, and Isaac are already sitting down, and the way Jamie smiles when he notices you makes you feel a little bit dizzy.

“Well, now it’s a party!” Colin says when he glances up and sees Mackie after noticing the spaced-out look that had appeared on Jamie’s face, and he stands to get everyone a drink. Your seat, apparently, is right next to Jamie, and you have to wonder if Keeley had planned it that way or if someone might have meddled.

By the forced look of nonchalance on Isaac’s face, you’re guessing it’s the second one.

“You look really nice,” Jamie says as he scrambles to pull your chair out, and you shamelessly let your eyes rove up and down his body, taking in the way his dark trousers hug his thighs and the exposed skin of his chest underneath his mostly unbuttoned shirt. Friends are allowed to admire how their friends look, you tell yourself, forcing the word ‘friend’ into your brain over and over again.

“So do you,” you tell him truthfully as you take a seat, and your heart flutters a little as his cheeks redden slightly.

The chatter throughout the room and the music playing softly creates a gentle hum in the background, but you’re not paying attention to anything except your table. Colin’s boyfriend, Micheal, was giving you all an earful about all the pains of dating a footballer, and between the way he’s cracking jokes and the drink you’d all but pounded to calm your nerves, you’re laughing harder than you have in ages. Lucky for you, your entire table seems to be in a similar position and the tables around you are so wrapped up in their own conversations that no one notices your rambunctious group.

After the food is served, though, you all manage to calm down to respectable levels, preparing yourselves for the long, drawn out auction that’s to come. Keeley is still fluttering around, and she stops by your table shortly after the entrees. She’s grinning, but you can tell she’s more than anxious from the way she keeps asking if everyone’s having a good time.

“Everything’s great, it’s beautiful in here,” you tell her, casting a glance around the room to look at the decor again.

“You guys look beautiful!” She counters, a genuine smile taking over her face and you just hope that the charity portion of the event is over soon so she can enjoy herself.

“Go eat!” You shoo her away, and you see Rebecca send you a wink out of the corner of her eye when she comes to steer Keeley back to her table.

Almost as soon as the plates are cleared away, Rebecca is thanking everyone for coming and thanking Keeley for planning such a beautiful night before beginning to auction off signed kits and match balls and VIP tickets for the rest of the season. You’re not sure if everyone’s been making good use out of the open bar or if the event is always this successful, but those items go for more money than you would have ever imagined.

While a few other guests continue to chat and sit by the bar to savor one last free drink, much of the remaining crowd works at Nelson Road in some capacity, and by the way Keeley glances around the room from her spot by the door, thanking everyone for coming as they leave, she’s clearly waiting for something.

Once it looks like the last guest has left, leaving behind the Greyhounds, Keeley takes to the stage, finally looking relaxed and bouncy and ready to party.

“Thank you guys for your good behavior,” she says to the crowd, and you all cheer back at her, “now let’s fucking party!”

If everyone had cheered for the first part of her sentence, then everyone was going crazy now, yelling so loud your ears hurt a little. The tables were all pushed away and some apparently famous DJ took the stage, and then it was time for a night of drinks and dancing with your friends, the perfect way to celebrate your win from yesterday and Keeley’s successful charity event.

Despite never being one for the club scene, the drinks and the company were making you feel like you could conquer anything, so you join the mass of swaying bodies, finding space to dance near Mackie and Amelia. You can’t remember ever feeling this loose, this carefree, so you intend to savor it.

After a few songs, though, your feet start killing you and you navigate your way out of the crowd to find a seat at the bar. Luckily for you, Jamie was sitting at the bar, watching the crowd with a beer bottle in his hand, and you know you light up when you see him. With all the drinks coursing through your body, you forget to be nervous around him, forget to remind yourself that he’s just a friend.

Plopping down next to him and unbuckling the tiny straps on your shoes, you sigh in relief once you can feel your toes again, giving yourself a little break before going back out to dance.

“Want a drink?” Jamie asks with a little nod back to the bar, an amused smile on his face as he watches you staring at your feet, willing them to feel better.

“Sure!” You chirp, talking louder than you normally would to be heard over the music. Jamie, ever the observer, remembers your drink of choice from early in the evening and slides one to you from across the bar.

“Why aren’t you dancing?” You ask him after taking a healthy swig from your drink.

“Don’t wanna,” he shrugs, looking from the crowd to you to the bottle in his hand, “someone here should be responsible, yeah?” Instead of a response, you just clink your glasses together with a smile.

Soon, you’re so wrapped up in Jamie that your mission to get back on the dance floor is completely forgotten. The two of you make your way outside, to hear each other better, and your heart ticks up when Jamie carries your shoes out for you, making no comment on you being barefoot in London.

He takes a seat on the steps and you follow suit, sitting closer than you normally would. You talk for what must be hours, trading stories from training and old clubs and your childhood determination to make it to the top, and much too soon for your liking, Elena is coming outside with Mackie on her arm.

“I promised I’d bring these two home,” she says, Mackie immediately pouting at the older woman.

“I guess it’s time for me to leave,” you sigh, gathering your shoes and standing as Elena attempts to get Mackie down the stairs, “thanks for talking with me.” You lean back down to plant a kiss on his cheek without a second thought.

You turn to leave, and you don’t notice the way Jamie tenderly touches the faint lipstick mark left behind on his cheek.

Tags: @andr0medafallen @buckychristwrites @benedictscanvas @whimsical-roasting @sokkigarden @guccilongboard @onceuponaoneshot @presidential-facts @yepyeahuhhuh @loveslide @allthefandomtherapy @gibby31 @buddyjuststop @ellietartt @cancvr @brianandthemays @sonyume @aiyaiy @captainfrisbee @dalebo3 @theloud-yet-quietone @imsoluckyeverythingworksoutforme @rockchickrebel @legobatmans9thab @curlypeter @lostinwonderland314 @yokolesbianism @jamietarttdodo @fan-goddess @innocentbi-stander @skewedcherries

[vespertin-y]

OKAY I FINALLY WATCHED GRAVITY FALLS. TEN YEARS LATE I KNOW. i was expecting to have to power through a bunch of boring kid stuff to get to the actual interesting drama and i was so so wrong i locked tf in and finished it in two days. it's so good what the actual fuck. heres my thoughts on the main characters

mabel: when i was the actual target audience for this show i saw a bit of mabel while flipping through disney XD and i immediately concluded that she was annoying af and i would never watch this show because of her. i would like to repent for this evil evil take by flinging myself belly down onto shattered glass. MABEL MY BABY GIRL...if they ever put her in another Situation or Scenario ill kill someone fr. she's a little too selfish and a little too pushy sure but so genuinely KIND and SWEET and so willing to make a fool of herself to pull her dumb brother out of his head. that unicorn doesn't know jack i hope she gets everything she wants forever

dipper: if i had watched gf as a kid i would have been in very real danger of naming myself after this guy (which doesn't even work bc im not nearly as cool as him!! the woodland creatures would have eaten my ass). it would've been so easy to give him a generic gaining confidence arc but he is never a coward when it really matters and i think that's great. he may not be able to talk to a girl but he can and will beat a gnome to death with a shovel for touching his sister!!! also yeah he is extremely transgender.

stan: OUUUUUGH. STARTS SOBBING. stanley pines the man that you are. i assumed at first that his plot would be about Learning To Love but no he is 100% on board with being the world's best grunkle from minute one. he definitely fucks up sometimes (putting waddles outside comes to mind as does. The Other Thing) but he always tries his very best to fix it. every action he takes just oozes with care for his family. every time i thought he had a motivation that wasn't his family they pulled the rug out from under me and revealed that it was, in fact, just his family again. he would give everything for them. AND HE LITERALLY DOES??? im gonna vomit. he hand stitched fishing hats 😭😭😭

wendy: definitely my least favorite of the main cast im sorry wendyheads...i just feel like there isn't a lot to get into here. every time they imply there's something more going on with her or her family they just snap her right back into The Coolest Girl In The World which might be fun but it's not that interesting.

soos: SOOS MY FRIEND SOOS!!!! i wobbled on him during the middle of the show bc i felt like they were making him Genuinely Dumb instead of just a good babysitter but they pulled his characterization back around by the end i think. he is like me in that he would also die for the mystery twins without hesitation or regret 💖. a lesser show would've been really mean about soos but gf is BASED and SOOSPILLED so he gets what he deserves. he does not have to lose weight or drop his "childish" interests or stop living with his grandma to WIN AT LIFE. awesome girlfriend! dream job! big house! stan using that boat to hunt down his bio dad and kill him, probably!

ford: ill be honest and admit i hated this guy at first but eventually i learned to live laugh love about his massive incredibly fragile ego ruining everything all the time and now i am a big ford enjoyer. what a FREAK oh my god. he believed his journals to be capable of destroying the world and still refused to destroy them because they're His Life's Work????? he had the painfully obvious option to tell bill he didn't know the equation and stall for time and chose instead to say that OBVIOUSLY he knows it he's the SMARTEST MAN ALIVE he's just not TELLING YOU 😤 and then immediately got tortured????? he spent most of his screentime projecting his relationship issues onto an Actual Child?????????? he needs to go to therapy and learn he's not the main character of the universe but he will not be doing that so i can only hope the boat fixes him. if i was stanley i'd've fed him to the shapeshifter.

bill: SIGH. YES OKAY HE'S MY FAVORITE. I KNOW I'M FUCKING PREDICTABLE DON'T @ ME. i spent 90% of his screentime cracking up and the other 10% making Homosexual Detection Eyebrows at my brother! the ideal ratio!!!!! i can't wait to get my hands on the book so i can poor little meowmeow him more efficiently. i knew i was saving that barnes & noble gift card for something important.

[chericherilvr]

heyyy I guess I'm back for another therapy session lmaoo. But this time my ask might be really morbid so you can totally refuse to write about this. It's a complete 180 from ur recent jungsu fic (which was sooo good btw. I love your writing style!!).

So I have a habit of crying whilst sleeping whenever I have a bad dream. Those dreams are usually about someone close to me passing away (dw tho I am definitely mentally okay but sometimes these dreams happen out of nowhere).

I was thinking reader has one of those dreams, starts crying and is woken up by one of the XH members and is comfroted by them (I'm jiseok biased but u can pick anyone for this). At that moment reader doesnt tell him that they dreamed of losing him but later the next day they do. The member, not fully grasping what reader meant by 'losing' him, tries to reassure them that he aint going anywehre and that they wont ever 'lose' him but reader is like "no but I will eventually lose you one day" and he finally understands what they meant. Then they both have a realisation that the ultimate pain of love is death (this is so angsty and long im sorryyy).

the human mortality | gaon x reader

summary: jiseok comforts you when everything feels scary, even death. w/c: 1,6k warnings: mentions of death, big talk on it, angst with comfort, one suggestive comment at the end. oh lord I'm afraid I side ranted my way into 1,6k words, and I enjoyed it way too much. a/n: oh lord, you aren't ready anon… part one (can be read as a stand alone): the human experience.

Humans are so easy to kill. We have so many weak points—a simple snap on the neck, walking on the wrong path, so many veins that one paper cut on the wrong place, and you're gone. We all die at some point.

It's not easy to come to terms with that. And, even when you think you have, you truly don't. No one expects death, it's impossible to do so. I once read a book "When breath becomes air" just as when Paul thought he came into terms with his death, he started the grieving process—back to square one. Denial.

Most people I've met are scared of The Death card in tarot. Almost as if a card itself could kill you at that moment—it probably could, we're weak. But it's still my favourite card on the whole deck. It talks about change. Something ought to die before new and better can flourish. Whenever I see it, I smile at people and softly tell them, "your body won't die, but a version of you will, get ready to grief."

The grieving process happens at any and every change. No matter how big, no matter how small. A simple road being blocked for the day could trigger your process. I find how we humans feel so deeply fascinating. We take it all for granted that, a simple change, can make us spiral.

Humanity's biggest fault, mortality.

I don't know when it started. The realisation that some changes can't ever heal. A road will come back. A phone is meaningless. A plushy from childhood still lives in pictures and can be recreated. A person can't. We're not Mary Shelly, we cannot create Frankenstein.

My first contact with death was when I was born. The biggest and the scariest change of them all: when we get ripped away from our life force. All we've known to that point was comfort. Now, when born, we are demanded to exist on our own.

My first contact with human death came way later. It came as I was laying unconscious. The moon shining upon my mother's face. Her hand coldly holding mine. The walk home never felt as quiet as before, until we loudly heard it. Bang! I held the hand of my dying mother as her body fell. As a kid, I saw my mother die. And, as a kid, I woke up trembling, and I begged my mother to sleep with me that day.

She was still there when I woke up. And she still was there long after. A change that never happened—yet fear crept around me every so often. It whispered. At any moment, everyone could be gone. Are they alive? Death never occurred, but its presence was more alive than any of the people I've seen die in my dreams.

Humanity's biggest fault, we love way too much.

Now I lay awake next to you, and I softly stare at your face. Every so often I check that you're still breathing, and I pray that you are. At this point, I don't even remember how you died. Was it by stabbing? Did you choke to death? But I still feel the tears stained on my face as I write this; and I wonder if you know how thank you I am of you, for it.

You've held me more times than I've known. I imagine just like now, with your arms around my still shaken body, you've held me as I sleep before. I wonder if you know the times I've done the same.

I'm afraid I've lied to you. I am not okay. I mean, we, humans, are a bit insane. But I am scared to tell you the truth, I don't want it to be too much. You swear you won't leave, but we humans are so weak. Should I wrap you up in bubble wrap? Can you die from that?

Sometimes the only comfort I get from death is imagining that we will be together in the afterlife. Is there mortality up there? I dream of a forever with you on another world—cause this world doesn't wish for the same.

Humans are so easy to love. You are. I don't want to lose that—but I know I will.

The sun creeps up the window, and the smell of freshly cut fruits fill in the air.

"You weren't in bed when I woke up," Jiseok says. His morning voice is raspy, like it always is. He walks up behind you and wraps his arms around your hips. He yawns, nuzzling his head into your shoulder. "That's mean."

Your body melts for the first time in hours. Leaving the knife back on its place.

"Couldn't go back to sleep." You turn around in his arms, facing him. His bangs cover most of his eyes, you move it out of the way. "You look tired baby, it's early, go back to sleep."

Jiseok allows himself to look into your eyes. Eye bags formed overnight around his eyes.

"I am not slee—" he gets cut off with a yawn. "I am not sleepy."

You chuckle and rub his hair. Deciding not to comment anything further, Jiseok hangs around your back until you're both sitting down.

Fresh fruit, a couple toasts, some water and coffee, and one big bowl of sugary cereal on Jiseok's side sets the table. He is eating with a hand on yours—sacrificing half of his mobility to be ever so closer to you.

"How are you feeling now?" He breaks the silence, still munching on his last cereal scoop. Your hand tenses in his hold. "Want to talk about it?"

Jiseok looks at you with his big eyes, head tilted to the side. You don't think he's ever looked as adorable as he is right now. His gaze is tender, trying to send a message that he's here, and you only have to speak if you want.

Your heart melts at the sight—I mean, we humans are weak.

"I had a nightmare," you clear your throat. Jiseok nods, encouraging you to keep going. "I. I just thought that I, lost you."

He softly puts his spoon down, and reaches to grab your other hand.

"You could never lose me," he says, "I am that down bad for starters. But I mean it, I am not going anywhere baby, better strap in tight, we're locked in."

You send him a guilty smile, one that doesn't reach your eyes, one that you avoid looking at him. He notices frowning slightly.

"Baby are you sure that's all?"

You take a deep breath and close your eyes shut. In darkness, it's easier to open up your heart. You're sure that's why doctors operate people under anaesthesia.

"I am scared you'll die," you say, remembering the countless procedures that happen while the patient is awake. You open your eyes and look back at him. Jiseok's eyes are filled with worry, and that just makes your guilt grow. "I am scared of when you'll die."

It takes a while for any of you both to react. Jiseok acts first. He nods and untangles his right hand out of yours. He grabs your fork and stabs a piece of peach from your plate. He holds it up.

"Did you know that peaches symbolize immortality? I once read about metaphors and came across this one motif in Chinese art. The mythical Queen Mother of the West," Jiseok twirls around the piece of fruit. "I believe she was called something like Xi? Xiwangmu?" He looks at you as if searching for an answer, before he continues speaking, "the whole point was, she had these beautiful trees who bared peaches, peaches of immortality.

I tried selling the idea to our group for a song, but they said something like it's too much. But the idea stuck with me. How could something so mortal like a piece of fruit—one that will eventually rot—mean something so impossible like immortality. Either way, now peaches represent a long fruitful life. So you're eating immortality while killing it along the way."

You stare at him as he brings the fork to your mouth. He nods with the fork and says a small aaah, you eat the peach, it tastes sweet. Jiseok smiles happily before setting the now empty fork down.

"In science," he continues, only pausing when you let out a chuckle, "hey stay with me we're getting real in here." Jiseok smiles.

"You're such a nerd."

"Newsflash I am your nerd, so shush. In science, we find this thing called the law of conservation of matter. It has been refuted by now, so we're going to ignore that to fit our narrative. Which stated that matter cannot be created or destroyed, only transformed.

So just like that mortal piece of immortality you've eaten, it now lives inside of you—bound to transform itself. Peaches do resemble immortality, because they allow you to live more, its immortality gets transferred into yours."

Jiseok looks at you with a proud smile, as if he solved any problems with fear. It weirdly helps. Now even more at ease.

"So I'll eat all the peaches in the world to be immortal, my love, no way you'll ever get rid of me."

You laugh at him, he just stares as if you made eternity and choose to keep it only yours and his.

"And I know a peach that I could eat that could help me alright." Jiseok wiggles his eyebrows, you slap his hand meaninglessly.

"Hey, random question, did you know that we ran out of your milk?"

"What?"

"Because I think you're currently eating your cereal with my, very lactose, milk. So have fun for the rest of the day, my little lactose-warrior."

Jiseok's biggest fault, Lactose.

Humanities's biggest fault, we love payback.

[melanieph321]

Robin???

Girl this took me three weeks to write. You don't know how much I need you to like love this one. 😭

SEVEN DAYS OF REQUESTS 4.0

(DAY 7)

Robin Le Normand x Reader - Boot Camp Part 1/5

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

You and Robin fall in love unexpectedly during Atletico Madrid's annual Boot Camp

Enjoy!

The line to the bus snaked itself across the parking lot, with the sun set high in the sky burning everyone below. 

There were several photographers present, snapping pictures of the players standing outside of Atlético Madrid's training facility. They were snapping pictures as if you were monkeys at the zoo.

"Jesus, have they never seen football players going to a training camp before?"

"I think it's because they're mixing the women's camp with the men's camp this year."

"What's so spectacular about that? They're only doing it because Atlético Madrid has gone broke and can't afford to send us away on two separate training camps."

"I don't know?" You said, joining in on the conversation between your teammates, who all stood in line anxiously waiting to get on the bus. The heat in the air made it almost unbearable. "I don't think that it has been done before, at least not in Spain." 

"What? Mixing men and women together?"

You shrugged your shoulders. "Not that I've heard of."

Maria sighed. "Expect a shit show then." 

She was the team's captain and a good one at that. Under her captaincy Maria ensured that every female player in the club would get paid for maternity leave, something that sparked a lot of discussion in all of Spain. Nevertheless, she remained the most vocal out of the female players when it came to the inequality that the women's team faced in football. Inequality, like getting paid vastly less money for doing the exact same job. 

"Perhaps this camp will showcase the fact that women work as hard as men in football." You said, trying to come off as ambitious as Maria.

"Maybe." She muttered. "Let's first see if this Boot Camp will be as chaotic as I think it will be."

"Why do you think it will be chaotic? One player questioned. "I mean we're all grown people, no?" 

"Please." Maria scuffed. "It's men and women training, playing and living together. They might as well have sent us away on one big orgy."

Laughter spread amongst the girls in line. It alerted the photographers who found your giggles worthy of a few snapshots. Although, they eventually got bored of you and returned to photograph the players from the men's team.

"Look at the size of this bus," A player named Tina said, fanning her flushed face with a pair of shin guards. "There's no way that all of us are going to fit in there." 

Everyone frowned at the bus's despicable size. It was meant to carry both the women's and men's team to and from camp. You guessed that not even half of the squad would fit on the bus, neither would your luggage.

"Perhaps we're expected to sit in each other's laps?" A girl named Holly optimistically suggested. "If that's the case I'm pairing up with Antoine Griezmann." 

"Wow Holly, way to set back feminism." 

"Besides, isn't Griezman married?"

Holly shrugged her shoulders. "I don't see his wife around here. Do you?"

Who said Boot Camp wouldn't be fun. With all the banter already happening in the parking lot you could only imagine what the banter on the training pitch would be like now that the girls were sharing it with the boys. The thought certainly amused you. It would amuse you even more if you hadn't chugged down three water bottles in the past hour.

"I have to pee." You announced, to the person ahead of you in line. Unfortunately it was Maria.

"Now?" She questioned, furrowing those untamed eyebrows of hers. All of her was untamed, from the volume of her hair to the size of her biceps. "The bus is leaving any minute Y/N. If you're not on it—."

"I'll only be a minute." You assured and left your spot in line. 

You rushed across the parking lot into the nearest building. Once inside, you quickly realized that you had never walked through this part of Atlético Madrid's training facility before. It was the area beyond the cafeteria, where only the men's first team were allowed. If Atlético ever had visitors they would surely have them come through here and witness the large mural of the club's badge and the superstars that played for it. It was worth noting that none of the large painted heads were of a player from the women's team.

"Come on, come on. Where is the bathroom?" There was no one around to point you in the right direction. All of the Atlético staff were currently outside, helping the players load their bags onto the bus.  However, you needed to pee and you needed to pee now!

Drastically, you entered the nearest locker room. It was empty anyways.

The large space reeked of male odder. Judging by the numbered red and blue lockers you had just stumbled into the first team's changing room.

"Is anybody in here!" You called out, just to be sure. "Nobody?" You slipped into the bathroom stalls but hesitated to pull down your shorts and urinate.

"Hello? Is anyone in here?" 

You heard it again, airy breathing, coming from the showers.

"Ehm, whoever you are, just know that I come in peace. I was just going to borrow the—."

"Who are you?"

You gasped, startled by Robin Le Normand who popped up out of nowhere. 

"Robin?" With a hand on your chest you sighed in relief. "You scared me."

He put a  hand up against the wall, appearing slightly out of breath. "How do you know my name?" 

"What do you mean?" You tilted your head, regarding him curiously. If anything he looked like shit.

"Well?" He panted, demanding an explanation from you, a girl, standing before him in the men's locker room. 

"Oh, right." You perked up. " The bus is about to leave for camp, but I really needed to use the restroom. This one was the closest I could—."

"Fuck, the bus!" Robin moved past you as if you were the shadow of a ghost. He moved past you in a rush to the door.

"Hey?"

He paused in the frame, looking back at you with furrowed brows. "What?"

He was ruder than you remembered. Then again, the two of you had only spoken that one time during the team's pre-season campaign. Back then he was actually quite polite….and charming. "Wait up, I'm coming with you." 

You approached him and bravely so, since he looked to have come down with a flu or something. His face was pale,  beads of sweat dabbingbhis forehead. However, the heat was hard on everyone today. 

"We'll probably make it back if we run." You said.

"We?" He asked, genuinely confused. But then it hit you, something that Maria once said, "Try asking someone from the men's team if they can name a player on the women's team. They can't. If that doesn't tell you about the state of inequality in this team, what will?"

You pushed past Robin, out of the men's locker room.  "Are you coming?"

"What? Who…who are you?"

It was a rushed introduction but an introduction nonetheless.  "I'm Y/N and I play for the women's first team. Let's go!"

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5