#eventually i'm gonna decide if/where i'm gonna start with batman and then read up to current. if i'm so inclined

[to-the-batcomputer]

wait. fuck. i thought i could jump right into world's finest 2022 and it would be a fun little thing. but it seems complicated actually. i don't understand how anyone keeps track of comics what do you mean ohh this starts after the infinite universe crisis multiverse of infinite crises Event and you have to know about that, and it runs alongside the earth 63 infinity crisis universe Event, so you have to read batman and robin and detective and regular batman and batgirl and superman and and and, and also it leads up to the crisis 47 infinite crisis multicrisis crisis Event which of course we all know. HOW DO YOU DO THISS

[vellaphoria]

14. Is there a character or ship you were so sure you would never write/draw but now you've changed your mind?

6. Show us a bit of a WIP!

👀👀

3. NoTP?

Thanks for the ask!!! <3 I'm gonna do this out of order so that the fic excerpt can go beneath the cut 14. Ironically, DickTim XD When I first started in this fandom I was strictly in the Dick & Tim tag. This was at a point where there just wasn't very much there though, so eventually I ran out of content and tripped face-first into DickTim. Then I ran out of content in that tag and decided that the only way to stay sane was to learn how to write more of what I wanted to read

3. That's a bit of a tough one for DC, since I tend to just be uninterested in most of the ships. Though I personally have a strong aversion towards Joker x Harley (or whatever the ship name is). It's just not my thing :P 6. An excerpt from the Recursion epilogue/followup that I'm gonna finish someday:

Most of the equipment isn’t salvageable. And what is salvageable isn’t exactly transportable.

All in all, he leaves the warehouse with a flash drive full of blueprints, his Red Robin gear, his bike, and the bag he’s been living out of for longer than he really wants to think about. 

Still, there’s an exhilaration to traveling light, taking barely anything with him as his motorcycle speeds down semi-empty streets. The neon drenched backdrop of Gotham flies past him in a blur. He takes each turn too fast. He feels alive. 

At the junction that would take him to the outskirts of the city and Wayne Manor, he nearly takes a wrong turn, forgetting for a moment that Dick hasn’t set up shop there for a long while now. Some backtracking later and he finds the correct turn-off, bringing his bike down into the tunnels that run beneath the city. 

When he finally pulls into what serves as the Bunker’s garage, Dick is already waiting for him. He lurks at the edge of the room, looking uncertain about trying to approach as Tim removes his helmet and shoulders his bag.

He’d stuck to civilian clothes on the way here; jeans, a long sleeve shirt, and a beat-up leather jacket to keep out the wind as he rode.

Dick seems to have had the same idea. The sweatpants and threadbare t-shirt suggest that he came straight down from the penthouse. 

It feels strange to see each other without layers of kevlar and nomex between them. At least when it's this them, here and now.

In the present, he hasn't seen Dick look so casual since before Batman's disappearance became well known and Gotham became a living hell. In those days, they were all but living in their suits, ready to go at a moment's notice. 

Tim is pretty sure that he's been going at nearly that pace ever since. And, from the dark circles beneath his eyes, he suspects that Dick has as well. Back on that rooftop, he hadn't had enough emotional distance from the situation to see how Dick looks just as exhausted as Tim feels.

He gets off the bike, stashing it in an open spot. It isn't until he removes his bag from the back of the bike that Dick approaches.

“It’s good to see you,” he says, quietly. When he smiles, it's faint, and a little sad.

“You too," Tim says.

He steps closer, not entirely sure what he's intending to do. 

Dick doesn't seem to know either. But he opens his arms, just a bit, and-

The hug is a careful, fragile thing. Threaded through with the knowledge that a single wrong move could shatter them. Still, when he tries to pull back, the arms around him tighten as Dick keeps him pressed against his chest. 

Tim lets him. It feels good to be close. To have Dicks’ hands on him, despite the context. 

There are some nights when he wants to rage at him, throwing objects and insults across the room to try and find some way to make everything make sense. But then there are the nights when all he wants is this: to be wrapped in Dick’s arms, feeling nothing but the strength of his muscles and warmth of his skin. 

Tim gives in, leaning into it, pressing his own hands into Dick’s back. 

There’s a kiss against his forehead, then his temple.

“I missed you,” Dick says, against his ear. 

“Missed you too,” Tim whispers back. 

When they finally pull apart, it almost feels like it's too soon. His body aches with the phantom feeling of being held.

The deceptively simple solution here would be to take Dick's hand and lead him upstairs. It would be so easy to say that he doesn't want to be alone tonight, to ask Dick for his company and for whatever else he'd be willing to give.

Dick can be very giving when he's trying to make something up to someone.

But… no.

Tim said they would talk about this, and he doesn't quite trust himself to let himself have this again without first untangling the mess in which they've caught themselves. 

So he stays content with the way that Dick’s hand cups his face, lingering a moment before he turns to lead Tim further into the Bunker. 

He saw the blueprints back when Bruce was first having the place built, but he never saw the finished product. It looks very efficient. While the Bat Cave was adapted to fit the space, The Bunker was clearly built from the ground up with a vigilante operation in mind. Everything fits together like clockwork, with some notable exceptions.

There are strategically placed empty spaces. They pass by two work benches full of half-finished projects and a third that’s entirely empty. A row of storage lockers is meticulously labeled, with the exception of the one to the right of the one labeled for Dick’s personal use. 

When he glances at Dick, it’s clear that he’s very purposely not looking at any of them. Trying to not call attention to it. 

The implication of it all makes something in Tim ache a little. For all that his reasons for leaving were justified…

They have a lot to talk about. (asks are from this post)

[rynnaaurelius]

2 for the end of year asks!! :]

(Ask post HERE)

Hiiiii <3

2. favourite fic of the year 

I read too much fic. Hmm. Shit. We're turning this into Ryn's AO3 Wrapped: The Non-Embarrassing Version (Not An Exhaustive List At All). These were generally judged by how many times AO3 says I chose to re-visit them at 1AM and sob.

For screenreaders: Titles are hyperlinked, I'm @'ing the authors if I know they're on tumblr)

If they choose to see this: Hi. I think you're awesome. I'm just tagging you so people can find you #OnHere. I hope your Friday is rad. :)

Give him time by @obiwanobi personally came and murdered me when I went on another Star Wars kick back when Kenobi came out in June. Loosely canon-compliant, Obikin, and for big fans of characters who decide to re-work reality to bring the person they love back. Also, tragedy.

Accidental Baby Acquisition, which is basically What We Do In The Shadows + Baby. Carries the show tone off really well, is funny as hell, and features one of my favorite OCs ever in later installments in the form of Guillermo's sister Valentina.

The Uses of Adversity because I fell down The Sandman rabbithole like everyone else and "Crime Master!Hob", and this somehow became a comfort fic? He rescues Dream while imprisoned by Rodrick's son and it all spirals from there. Great characterization, great OCs, and there's a sequel happening!

Viable Alternatives, a House of the Dragon AU where Laenor exists to be more than a sad gay and artificial insemination exists! Big fan of how Rhaenyra doesn't get softened here and the Velaryons get more to do.

Time is a River was a real surprise to find, it's a time travel PJO AU that I thought was really fun--it makes Percy/Hermes work for me, which was a shock--and I kinda hope the author finds a sequel in them some day, (No pressure, of course; it was a gift to someone else, but also, it's rad and I want more).

I started reading Preserve or Raze by @foxyatlas before 2022, but the list doesn't feel right if I don't put it on here. It's a PJO AU where Percy winds up at Camp Jupiter, post-the original series, but I feel like it's cheating if I reveal the additional twist. Suffice to say, it is epic, has lots of shenanigans and worldbuilding, and I'd recommend it over Blood of Olympus anyday.

a girl who sees it all is super short, but it's a great Annabeth Chase bit, and I gotta include it.

Space Between is a Star Trek AOS one-shot in which Jim ruminates a lot in first person POV (I know! It's great! It works!) and looks pretty with his shirt off while Spock saves the day--as canon tends to go. Eventual love confessions ensue.

Went on a biiiig X-Men movies kick this year, which is the excuse for The Tower and the Hurricane being on the list. Set in a post-X-Men: First Class world where Magneto proves right and human-mutant war has ensued, and Xavier takes the school to his sanctuary. Lots of pining and tension set against a potential apocalypse, it's good times.

shoulder the sky (and the fic it inspired) is a fucking amazing Star Wars series featuring a lot of Obi-Wan whump, lot of pain, and a lot of the clones doing their best as the Jedi try to keep their shit together. 12/10, would watch everyone suffer again.

and we're gonna sing it again and again is the best Our Flag Means Death fic I have read, go argue with a wall.

kidnapping bruce wayne 'verse by @frownyalfred makes me laugh every time I read it, and is basically what it says on the tin: Bruce gets kidnapped a lot, he inevitably grows on the henchmen who are always contracted to kidnap him. There's a lot of unreliable POV in regards to A, the fact that Bruce is Batman, and B, Bruce is getting railed by Superman on a semi-regular basis, and it is prime comedy.

I regret nothing putting hand in unrebloggable hand (we go down together) on this list. Enjoy.

i won't be shamed by you is basically Buffy the Vampire Slayer is except Spike is really into reality TV and gradually infects the Scoobies with it. Background canon relationships, but the point is that Spike is invested in The Bachelor.

let not time deceive you (you cannot conquer time) is a modern The Old Guard AU where everyone is still immortal but Nicky is a millennial college student, with a lot of pining, lot of grad school and Catholic Church criticism, and a lot of angst. Also, Quynh shows up towards the end and she's a fucking delight.

I am not just recommending as wise as heaven and crueller than hell just because one of the stories was gifted to me by you. It's also fucking amazing PJO and possesses superior Nico and Luke characterization.

[fordarkisthesuede]

I got tagged by @fractualized - and I had to think about this for a while. Sorry for the delay, frac'! I pretty much felt like this all week (lol):

GIF by lostwithoutmyboswell

Ok, so we're gonna start from #5, because I decided to rate these like a loon:

#5:

Birth. Starting off on the disk horse topic of HP fanfic. Listen, regardless of how I feel about the series now (which is messy, to say the least), there's one thing I still can't help but love about it...and it's not only tiny, but half of the reasoning behind it is of my own making. It's Peeves the Poltergeist. I LOVE Peeves. He's my favorite character type - short, temperamental, powerful, 90% humor and fun, inhuman, and neither a Good nor Bad guy. I rarely used to read HP fic back in the day, but I noticed that for such a big fandom, he never had much to his name. (And what I did find was...disappointing for me.) I reread the series in 2015 for the first time in a while and did some Deep Thinking about him. What his limits are. How he's presented. Where he even came from. The bare scraps of canon and Word of God (distasteful) material pushed my buzzing brain to write about him, and eventually churned out this little origin story. I wrote several one-shots surrounding him, but this is my favorite of the bunch. In my eyes, it's simple, short, and effective in storytelling. So I like it. (^_^)

#4:

The Whole Nine Yards. Yes, my current WIP is on the favorite list. It started off as a sex-romp list, because I had too many positions and kinks I wanted John and Bruce to try. It first grew into showing Bruce/John as a couple at home, because my main fics in the Perseverance Project series don't get to show them being all lovey-dovey as much as I'd like. Then I added a few dashes of angst for character building. Then it evolved into including what AtBoM skipped over (for various reasons) - visits at Arkham showing their [growing] love and trust rebuild post-S2, and showing different sides to them.

So what we have now is: "Two guys in love met in an asylum 2.5 years ago, and less than one year after they first met, one keeps coming to visit the other. The visits' subjects are then related to current day, where they finally live together like a real couple, with all it's ups and downs, and sexy results". It's a mouthful, I know. ;D But I think it works!

It's great to explore all these things and essentially back-track a bit versus rewrite any part of AtBoM. Plus, I get to mumble about something that always interests me in this 'verse: Bruce's relationship with his parents. To go from loving them and putting them and their deaths on a pedestal to look to for inspiration to keep going on being Batman, to learning they were the biggest criminals in the city and a key reason while he's even having to be Batman... That's gotta affect how he looks at things. Like, I mentioned Bruce's dislike of his house in AtBoM and TToJ, but here it's full-force. It was a mausoleum for their memory and now it's just a means to an end. He doesn't consider it home, or even rightfully his. But John living there with him makes it a home. Their home. :')

Also, I feel like I'm playing a decorating game and a dress up game with it! Kind of like The Sims, I guess. xD John's room and summer wardrobe are fun to craft as I go. (Don't worry, you'll get to see John's classic outfit at the end. For...reasons.) Plus, soon* you'll see Bruce's bedroom revamped!

#3:

A Ghost Too Far. Disk Horse, part two. Peeves is the one thing I still wistfully sigh over and go "ah, what could have been"...all while knowing that I took the bones of my blorbo and crafted him a full body myself. It's been 7 years since I started writing this particular story, and it clocks in over 230K words. As things are now, I have no idea if I'll ever actually finish it, for a myriad of reasons. So to make a long story short (HA!):

Out of the hundreds of thousands of HP fanfics, and the handful that had Peeves as a character, I found Peeves had no proper big epic romance story of his own and decided to make him one, combining it with one big exploratory setting of How He Is, all set in 2003/2004. His destined romantic partner is an American witch (queue eyeroll), acting as a one-year-only DatDA teacher (queue harder eyeroll), who I can describe in modern** terms as a gender-non-conforming adult punk who is absolutely fascinated with ghosts. She makes it a point to study the castle ghosts, especially Peeves, as poltergeists are super rare and physical ones are apparently unheard of outside of him. She makes a deal with Peeves that he can break just about anything she owns and annoy her all he wants, in exchange for information on how he works. Which I worked out via the aforementioned HP reread and lots of Deep Thinking as literally by feeding off of (aka absorbing) magic from humans, like his "relatives" the Dementor and Boggart. Unlike them, he primarily eats high energy feelings of "anger" "sadness" and "excitement", because he was created in a castle with children who can have powerful feelings of all three very easily. Is this theory of mine presented in canon? Who fucking cares anymore, the author's dead in all senses but literal.

It might not be finished, and it might never be, but writing out this monstrosity of a theory while getting a guy like Peeves to fall in and explore love for the first time holds a special place in my heart. Because not only does Peeves reside permanently in my brain (I'm pretty sure he's the Writing Gremlin who suggests those "this is what goes painfully wrong" scenarios), but so does Dandrane, who I hand-crafted to be Peevesy's romantic partner. I love her. I owe her. Her favorite color is hot pink; because of her, I have gotten over my old feud with the color pink. I wrote her to be 30 while I was then 24; after a while, nearing/turning 30 no longer bothered me. I wrote her to be cool, confident, and a little horrible. Because we all have that bitchy little voice in our head sometimes... The desire to break something without consequences... The need to have our anger recognized rather than ignored or attempted to be placated... Dandrane is a wonderful vessel for these feelings, even after all this time.

She's my cool girl. My tall bean. My silly little flamingo. I want to put her in an enriched enclosure and watch her with a set of binoculars.

#2:

At the Brink of Midnight. My most popular fic is second-place in my heart, at this current hour. (Ha!) For reasons I'm sure you long-time readers already guessed, that I have mentioned time and again in it's author notes: this fic was FUN to make!!!

The Halloween setting! The fresh takes on Scarecrow and Poison Ivy! John recreating Joker! Bruce rescuing John! Bruce finally hugging John! THE CONFESSION SCENE! A rave scene in a graveyard!!! Batman and Joker teaming up to kick ass!!!!!

It's! So! Great!!! It's not too long, but still a big novel-length! Easy to read and get lost in! It presents an original character who carries the possibility of redemption! It hits all those story beats I craved to see for a Season 3! Hell, even now I'd be hard pressed not to expect to see Dr. Crane in any potential sequel we'd get IRL!

Are there things I'd change? Sure. But nothing major. I'm still happy with it, even 4 years later. Maybe part of my love for it is also a desire to be able to pump out 110K words within a few months again...

#1:

The Tolls of Justice!

Is it my most popular fic? Nah, it's #2. But it's my #1. The king of my heart. It took 2-and-a-half years to finish, in no small part because 2020 was a bitch. And despite the frustration at writer's block, despite the silly errors that I still need to go back and fix, and despite the time it took...God, I LOVE it.

Whenever I reread part of it, I get sucked in and read more than I meant to. I know the majority of the little notes I made, but whenever I read one of the tarot hints I can't help but go ehe he he. I read John's breakdown in Arkham, and his transformation into what is his final form of vigilante!Joker, and I still tear up. I see the theme of a writer playing God, of having a defined inescapable ending but proving that choices still matter, and just sit with it in utter delight.

I have many favorite moments: Tiffany and John's day out, the entirety of the Wayne Gala, John and Iman's investigation at the theater, Batman's descent into the Court of Owls' secret lair with Robin... But I have a favorite bit. It's the kind of thing I giggle over while kicking my legs in my seat.

So in Chapter 12, Batman and Joker are having a few moments together before the Big Battle in the high tier of seats above the main floor/"stage area", able to watch the Court of Owls' mock-trial below. In theaters, the highest tier is sometimes known as "the gods" seats.

As my version of the CoO has their whole thing built on "our God wrote down our destiny exactly and the Evil God keeps causing chaos to interfere", and considering the DC multiverses and that Batman and Joker are constantly in them, and as Bats and Jokes are generally simplified as "Order and Chaos"... They're figuratively 'gods' in "the gods" seats watching the show below. ౧(*മ് ധമ്)੭ु⁾⁾

As for WIPs, I only have 2 at the moment. I use OneNote to write all my ideas for it (when I'm actually writing them down):

As you can see, I have sections for The Whole Nine Yards (abbreviated "W9Y" in notes only) and the untitled "BtTTS S5" below. (The "After Hours" is just IRL work notes, when I had to use my personal PC for work in 2020, and "Noir "is literally a list of film noir movies I'm keen to watch. I've been really into them lately!)

Right now S5's notepad only has 2 sections - the Thinkbox and "J Tech". The Thinkbox pages are pretty much the brainstorm dumping ground...but TWNY's is actually laid out rather nicely, like this. I'd post a screenshot, but then this post would...uh, turn nsfw... (; ' o' )

Right now, the only WIP word docs are here, in my "BtTTS - The Perseverance Project" folder:

As for tagging...hm. Um... Since it was frac' who tagged me... I choose @distort-opia, if they're so inclined! (And anyone else who wants to!) Edit: I am a fool who does not reread properly. 😭 Sorry hun, you already did it! So field's wide open!!!

*at the time of this posting, TWNY Chapter 7 is still in progress. It's 2/3rds of the way done! (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧

**at the time of writing the story in question, the term "gender non-conforming" was not known about as widely as it is now; basically, I knew what it was without knowing what it was called.

[anxiousnerdwritings]

ok so inspiration hit me like a truck and this is what I got also just imagine that one of the multiverse survived batman who laughs bs and tries to rescue reader pls again havent read that much of it so yeah, oh also I got bored of writing "the batman who laugh" over and over again so imma just write evil batman - knull anon

~~~~

sneaking into a heavily guarded fortress was never easy, but especially one made by his father (technically his father) was damn near impossible.

whatever was in this fortress must be extremely important to the batman who laughs, because damian has yet to have seen this much security and back up plans for a fortress.

he was with the rest of the bat kids, and their missing was weird to say the least.

the planet he was on was actually one that the evil batman didnt completely destroy, and he was surprised to see this fortress in a beautiful forest jungle area, where the trees grew taller then he had ever seen.

however, he couldnt look at the scenery forever. he eventually had to focus on the mission: find whatever was in the fortress, get it out, and run. this object was apparently extremely important to th evil batman and it was their job to try and get it.

the plan was that if they were able to get whatever was inside, it might be a bargaining chip for them to use so they could try and lure this batman into a trap.

currently, damians own father was fighting the evil batman so they could get this chance.

of course, it took a while to even get into the fortress but that didnt matter.

the guards were everywhere, they even saw some zombie robins walking around the place, usually carrying random every day items. from books, clothes, and even food and water. strange considering they only ate people, but fortunately for them, the robins usually were too busy at whatever task they had to even try and pay attention to the batkids.

they eventually had to split up, damian going with cassandra, tim and duke while dick took every one else.

it was probable never a good idea to even try to go in a big group, but it was the only chance they had.

trying to find whatever was there that was so important to this evil batman was probably going to change the tides of this "war".

dick had told him to keep on looking when they werent able to find anything important of value. they had come to a standstill, where they were hidden in a darkly lit hallway with so alcoves with strange plants and other decorative objects.

damian was about ready to lose his mind. there was absolutely nothing here that would say anything about where this important item was.

the rest of his group was probably thinking the same, considering how they looks and stood.

however, he forgot about his exhaustion when he heard footsteps approach from one end of the hallway. he motioned for them to leave the hallway when duke motioned back that there were more people coming from the other end of the hallway.

trapped, damian stepped back, looking around to see if there was anything to help them. but he stepped back to quickly and lost his footing, having to hold on to a potted plant in one of the alcoves.

which set off a door system.

the four batkids watches as a door appeared on the opposite side of the hallway, and when it fully opened it revealed a stairway leading downward.

not having any choice, he motioned for the others to follow, and together, they headed downward, towards whatever was being kept hidden by a potted plant.

☆

either you were hearing things or the Robin's decided to play tag, becuase you remembered what their footsteps sounded like every time they came down to check on you. great entertainment but only when you stayed in the house.

and now as the footsteps became more louder, you were curious on who it was. getting up out of your overly plush bed, you walked over to your door and put your ear up against the door. the footsteps seemed to stop as you heard a familiar voice say "where to now?"

hold on... is that... damian wayne?

"damian?" you called out, confused. wasnt he a part of the attack of that new earth that popped up? and he never spoke unless told to.

the speaking stopped as you heard the voices speak to you.

"who are you, and how did you know my name?"

you wanted to laugh, you're the bitch who never let's me leave whenever you're "babysitting" me. but you decided to play it cool.

"um, I'm the kid who is supposed to stay down here for like, the rest of my life? besides, why are you here? arent you supposed to be with my "dad" while he fights that new earth and their batman?"

you stood there waiting for an answer when you heard a new voice, one that was kind of familiar but not as familiar as damians.

"you know the batman who laughs?" you yourself almost laughed, before responding "of course I know him, he keeps me here saying that I'm a extremely important person to him, and he makes me call him dad when hes around. actually, wait, who are you?"

silence was heard and before you could try and ask another question, you heard "get away from the door"

taking a couple steps back, you narrowly missed the door that just exploded to reveal the oh so dreaded hallway.

however, you forgot about memories from earlier when you saw who was standing in to doorway. 4 kids, 4 batkids, all from whatever earth they came from.

damian reached for his comm and said "dick, we found the important object. its gonna be harder to get out, though."

~~~~

ok 1, I rediscovered a bunch of fandoms I was in when I was younger and all I can think of is all the new possibilities for dads, and 2 I'm starting to count all the fictiknla father figures I have and I'm thinking of creating a list for them, and 3, I like how this turned out. I wanna continue this but it was getting to long so ye. anyway imma probably just write something tonight so yay to that see yall later bye - knull anon

You’re giving me inspiration to start writing for the Bat Who Laughs now!! You’re doing a real good job by the way with everything you’ve been sending in!!💕💕 Much love to you, Knull anon!

[kitkat1003]

Transcendental Meeting

They'd asked to see, to come in his head and meet this weird, convoluted time traveler that was Emmet and also not Emmet. Emmet wasn't exactly thrilled, and neither was Rex, but it wasn't too much to ask. After all, Emmet had had peoppe in his head before, and he can't imagine it would be difficult to have them in his head again.

Lucy headed the ritual this time, and Emmet tried to ignore the tight pull from both his and Rex's metaphorical hearts as he remembered that Vitruvius was so terribly, awfully gone. Instead, he focused on clearing his head, shutting his eyes.

When he, Lucy, Batman, Unikitty, Benny, and Metalbeard appeared inside his own mind, he could tell Lucy was surprised by the change. It is definitely fuller now, a multitude and dark blues and bright oranges filtering through the constantly shifting space, as well as the numbers and their corresponding parts that float around aimlessly.

In the center of it all, a large ship, identical to the one Rex had had before he...no longer had his own body. They can hear the sound of video games and someone shouting, and Emmet smiles with a sort of fond familiarity that has Lucy grinning.

He leads them to the door, hidden behind a plethora of sensors, and opens it, gesturing for them to follow him inside.

Instead of the makings of a spaceship, the interior is large house mixed with an apocalypse survival bunker. There is a gun rack and a homely kitchen, side by side, an odd juxtaposition of Emmet's and Rex's tastes that seems to work.

Rex is sitting in front of the largest tv screen they've ever seen, and Emmet stops them a few feet away from the chair, walking over by himself and tapping Rex on the shoulder.

Rex inclines his head-Emmet is the. only one allowed to sneak up on him like that and not get punched

"What, they finally show up to see the glory that is me?" Immediately, all save for Lucy are taken aback by the voice, bravado and ego and cockiness all turned up to eleven and shoved into a single sound. Lucy just smiles and shakes her head as Emmet nods, and Rex gets up, pausing the game and taking the few steps and one turn to face the people he knows so well, yet not at all.

Their appearance takes his breath away.

He doesn't front when Emmet is with his friends. As is, Rex secludes himself to being seen by GCBC and Lucy only, because he's too good-too nervous-to be seen by anyone else.

Rex's appearance is a shock to the four as well, eyebrows shot to the ceiling. Of all things that would have been thought to be a part of Emmet, Rex is not one of them.

"The heck happened to you?" Batman's gruff, blunt voice cuts through the silence, and Rex twitches, ever so slightly. The mindscape darkens for a moment, and Emmet and Lucy make the same face-the "Oh my God Batman don't say that Why did you say that" face.

"I grew up-yknow, trained some raptors, created a time machine spaceship, got tough, typical easy stuff. You wouldn't get it," His words are barbed wire behind the self aggrandizing, and Emmet's eyes dart back to Batman, pleading with him not to engage.

But the Dark Knight's ego won't be challenged.

"Oh yeah, it's not as if I pioneered that-besides, I doubt any part of Emmet is grown up," Emmet flinches, and Unikitty jabs Batman with her horn. "Hey!" Batman shouts, rubbing the spot where he was hit. Unikitty glares at him.

"I suggest ye back down. Wouldn't want the wee lass to go into a rage on ye, would ye?" Metalbeard speaks up, and Batman crosses his arms and relents.

"Whatever," he mutters.

Rex face is locked in a smile-one that never means anything good. He's either plotting revenge or holding back tears, and at this point Emmet isn't sure what's worse.

"How'd you meet Emmet, Rex? Emmet said you two used to be two separate people?" Benny asks to try and lighten the mood, and Rex crosses his arms.

"Saved his life," he grins, and Emmet rolls his eyes.

"Yeah, and then made me mess up a whole lot," he replies, eyes silently asking the question if he's allowed to tell. Rex shrugs, and Emmet takes that as a concession, summoning some couches for everyone to sit on.

He regales the tale-how he arrived at the wedding, what Rex did to manipulate him, etc. He can see their like of Rex wane as he continues, but Rex just leans back in the armchair he made and grins, arms behind his head.

When Emmet is finished, Unikitty jumps up, glaring at Rex. Her fur is slowly changing from pink to red.

"You ruined everything! Queen Watevra Wa'Nabi could've been killed because of you!" She shouts, and Rex shrugs sort of helplessly.

"Eh, I could've fixed it. It worked out fine, because I'm so great," he pats Emmets shoulder and winks, but no one is amused. Rex just shrugs again.

"You could've gotten us all put in storage!" Benny jumps up with his arms crossed. Lucy and Emmet hold their hands up, mouths opening to placate.

"What were ye thinking!" Metalbeard's cry suts them off, and Rex's hand crushes the can of soda in it.

The crunch makes the room lapse into silence.

"What was I thinking?" And Rex's voice is ice, sending a chill down everyone's spine. "What. Was I thinking?"

The roar shocks everyone, and the crushing stomp that accompanies it shatters the floor of the ship house, chairs dissolving with the shockwave Rex's foot creates. Rex's voice is loud, pained, and all that braggadocio lost as something broken and vulnerable and Emmet in a way that makes Lucy's heart ache.

The four, plus Lucy, all wince as they see the broken man Rex is, the trembling fists, the shadow of a man that used to be Emmet.

How long, they have to wonder. How long did Rex lay under in the dryar system alone, before he snapped? How long did he wait for them, still believing they'd come to save him, before his hope broke?

How must it have felt for his only friends, which he had given his fragile, naive, sweet, innocent, kind heart to, to have abandoned him, snapped his trust in half, and forced him to change?

"So...I decided," Rex finally starts up again, taking in a deep breath.

The final resounding scream has the whole ship dissolving, the dark blue colors in the landscape surrounding them smothering the bright orange as Rex continues to shake and shudder and take in heaving breaths.

Eventually, Eemet steps forward, placing a hand on Rex's shoulder, and when Rex turns to face him Emmet pulls him into a hug.

Rex shakes and grips Emmet like a lifeline, and Emmet nods at the five with something old and sad in his eyes, and suddenly they're back in Emmet and Lucy's home.

Emmet smiles sadly at them, something akin to disappointment in his eyes that burns into their souls when he catches their gaze.

"I'm gonna head to my room to talk to Rex. See ya later, alligator," with that, he turns on his heel and walks away.

Lucy stares at the four dejected master builders and sighs.

The four head home in silence.

----------

In the mind space, the pieces of the home they'd thought of together is already starting to rebuild, and Emmet finds Rex sitting and watching it coalesce.

"Sorry," he says. "I should've told them what jad happened before," he sits down next to Rex, and Rex looks so tired.

"It's okay-I needed to say that anyway, I think. Catharsis or whatever," Rex mutters, and Emmet's heart soars.

"You've been reading the therapy books I make in here!" He exclaims excitedly, and Rex chuckles.

"I got bored, what can I say," he shrugs, though his expression turns more somber. He goes silent, staring off into the distance.

"Rex?" Emmet tries, patting him on the shoulder.

"I don't know why they didn't come back for me," his voice shakes. "I don't-what did I do wrong?"

Emmet hugs Rex tightly, thinking of the empty despair that had clenched around his heart when hope was lost, when he thought he'd be left beneath the dryar system forever. Imagines sitting in that despair for months.

"Nothing. You didn't do anything wrong, okay?" He says, because Rex is him, and has Emmet done anything wrong to deserve that? To warrant that degree of suffering?

He leans his head on Rex's shoulder, and whispers again-you didn't do anything wrong, to Rex and to himself.

Maybe one day at least one of them could believe that was true.

[caranfindel]

Recap/review 14.04: “Mint Condition “

THEN: Michael's gone. Supposedly. Dean feels bad. Ghosts are a thing. Salt circles. Monster Kaia's magic spear.

NOW: A comic book/collectibles store. The camera pans over a variety of figurines and memorabilia, including a poster for the movie Hell Hazers, which you may remember from Hollywood Babylon, (thank you, Continuity Fairy!) and briefly pauses on a poster for the movie All Saints' Day before showing a television. Someone's watching Shocker TV, showing scary movies "24 hours a day, all week long." We see clips from Route 666 and that movie they were filming in Hollywood Babylon, whose name escapes me, as well as from a movie we will eventually find out is All Saint's Day. Cut to a guy unpacking a box of collectibles under the watchful eye of a long-haired freak right out of All Saints' Day. I keep waiting for this guy to realize he's being watched, but I am the one who eventually comes to a realization - that's not a guy, it's a statue.

The guy unpacks a box and literally drops it in shock. Because it's haunted, right? No, it's just a Thundercats collectible figure Panthro, in its original box. (No one in my house knows anything about Thundercats, but I assume this is a real character.) He stuffs the box in a backpack, and then his phone rings. The incoming call is a video call, which is weird, because people this age don't even call each other, let alone via video, but it makes for better television, so we'll let it go.

The caller is a girl named Sam, who is apparently his boss. She immediately starts berating the guy for his bad customer service, which resulted in a negative Yelp review. He promises to do better and confirms that she's coming over for game night. Stewart picks up his bag and a set of keys on a Batman keyring and locks up the store, under the watchful eye of the creepy statue.

(Boy, this is a lot of recap before we even get to the title card...)

We see Stewart at his house, arguing with a pizza delivery place. Panthro is sitting on a table and he turns and looks at him. It's surprisingly well done, BTW. Stewart turns to see Panthro on the floor, gets closer, watches Panthro swing his mace, and then screams.

Title card!

Bunker. Dean's lying on his bed, eating pizza and watching Hatchet Man: All Saints' Day, which is a gloriously cheesy salute to the 80s. Well, I'm glad he finally got a TV in his room, but does this mean the Fortress of Deanitude is no more? Is it full of refugee hunters now? Aw, that's sad.

{Sidebar: I wonder if this movie is called All Saints' Day because they knew the episode would be shown on All Saints' Day, and were being meta/clever? Or is it just supposed to be a riff on the Halloween franchise?}

Sam comes in and asks what he's doing, and when Dean looks up, he's shocked to see the Beard of Despair is gone. "Why are you so surprised?" Sam says. "Obviously, judging from my glorious scruff, it's been a few days since I shaved. Have you really not seen me in a day or two?" (No, he doesn't really say that.) But Dean says "it's so smooth; it's like a dolphin's belly." And it's not. It's really not. And as much as I love the scruff - which is quite a bit - I'd also like to see Sam's pretty face smooth as a dolphin's belly sometime. Just sayin'.

Sam (still) wonders if Dean's okay, since he hasn't really come out of his room in a week, which I guess explains how he missed the Big Shave. Dean expositions that Cas is "showing Jack the ropes," because if Jack wants to learn how to be a hunter, there's no better teacher than Cas, right? Absolutely no one. And with Monster!Kaia and Michael "in the wind," and his home full of strangers, Dean apparently figures he's got nothing better to do than hole up in his room watching Hatchet Man movies. (Is Hatchet Man the franchise, and All Saints' Day just one of the titles? I'm having trouble getting a grip on this.)

He knows Sam doesn't get it, because Sam doesn't even like scary movies. "Our life is a scary movie," Sam points out. And speaking of which, he's found a case. He shows Dean a YouTube video of a bloodied Stewart describing his Panthro attack, and I wish I could take credit for this catch, but I saw it on Tumblr... look at the left side of the screen. The "Recommended for You" videos are about zombies, a conspiracy theory, and how to clean your sink, which are all very interesting, but look at the "Up Next" video.

IT'S A FUNNY CAT VIDEO. HAS SAM BEEN WATCHING FUNNY CAT VIDEOS?

Oh, Sammy knows just what he's doing, and I love him for it. He's all, we don't have to take this case involving KILLER THUNDERCAT TOYS if you're not interested, but he's got Dean exactly where he wants him.

His smug little face at the end of this scene gives me life.

Guys, I was so ready for this. A MotW, and Sam giving Dean a hunt he knows he'll enjoy just to help him kick his Michael blues... This is the show I'm here for!

The guys show up at the comic book store dressed like absolute dorks, in short-sleeved shirts and ties. Sam has a pocket protector. I don't know why. But it's single-layer Winchesters and I'm gonna embrace it. Looks like this episode is happening on Halloween and not on All Saints' Day, because they're accosted by costumed children outside the store. Dean comments that Sam still isn't a fan of Halloween (which we've known ever since the pilot; thanks again to the Continuity Fairy). Sam confirms.

Apparently this red mask is a character Jensen voiced in an animation? And of course Jared was in House of Wax. Pretty deep meta here, Show.

BossLady!Sam is there, wearing a red plaid shirt, and Dean comments that she's like Sam's twin. "I don't know what you're talking about," Sam says, as he and BossLady!Sam tuck their hair behind their ears in sync, and I die.

That’s me, in a puddle on the floor.

“Soft, delicate features," Dean points out. "Luxurious hair. She's like your Wonder Twin." All of this is true, Dean, and good on you for noticing that your brother has soft, delicate features and luxurious hair. Sam notices a guy stocking the shelves - black All Saints' Day t-shirt, shortish spiky hair, lollipop just like the one Dean snagged at the door - and says "if that's me, then that's you over there."

Dean's distracted (and delighted) by the Hatchet Man statue, giving him the name David Yaeger. {Sidebar: did you know the word jager means hunter in German?} His doppelganger encourages him to push a button that plays his catch phrases from the movie, including "we all do bad things sometimes." Which is, like Dean's motto. Dean's joy is infectious and adorable.

BossLady!Sam finishes her business with the police and asks what she can do to help the guys, offering "Funko Pops, Magic cards," and given the number of Supernatural Funko Pops decorating my office, I'm pleased with that shout-out. Sam asks about Stewart as Dean asks about vintage Hot Wheels, and Dean, I am very sad to inform you that Hot Wheels apparently never made a 1967 Chevy Impala.

The guys introduce themselves as Ian Gillan and Ritchie Blackmore (Deep Purple, The Husband points out) from Campbell and Sons Insurance (hee!), wanting to speak to Stewart. Presumably not about Hot Wheels, unless he got run over by one. They'd gone to his place, but his roommate said he moved out. Or got kicked out. BossLady!Sam explains that Stewart is an "acquired taste" who makes a lot of online enemies, and he can be found at his mom's house.

I still don't understand why the guys are dressed like nerds. Is it a Halloween costume? Because we've seen them as insurance agents before, and they were wearing regular suits.

Mom's house. Mom puts a couple of mugs on the table - one is a superhero (Flash, maybe?) and one is decorated with cats - and announces that Stewie will be up in just a minute. Dean reaches for the superhero mug, even though it was placed in front of Sam, but the joke's on you, Dean, because we now know Sam likes cats! But more importantly, Dean has added a pair of black Clark Kent eyeglasses to his getup. WHY? I mean, it's hilarious, but WHY?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.

We hear Stewart pitching a fit in the basement. He stomps upstairs and sees the Winchesters, and I know the guy in the store was supposed to be Dean's avatar, but this guy is wearing a RED SHIRT WITH A SQUIRREL ON IT. COME ON .

Truly a Red Shirt of Bad Decisions.

We learn that Sam is aware of Fortnight, and Dean notices the smell of burning sage. Stewart explains that he dated a goth chick who told him it would bring good luck, but he broke up before they could "merl." Dean's as confused as I am about "merl," but Sam explains it's MIRL - Meet In Real Life. Dean asks how he knows what that means, and Sam very quickly changes the subject. And this opens up all sorts of interesting possibilities, doesn't it, regarding Sam's online activities and his knowledge of MIRLing, and that would certainly be an entertaining rabbit hole to go down, and I hope some of y'all indulge in that, fic-wise or meta-wise or whatever. I look forward to reading it.

Anyway. Sam asks about the Panthro attack, and Stewart jumps in to say he made it up. When Dean presses, he gets mad and kicks them out of the house and then we cut to an exterior shot and WHAT THE FUCK? NOW DEAN HAS A TACKY CHECKERED BLAZER? It's like he's slowly turning into Matt Foley from SNL. At some point in this episode he's got to say something about living in a van down by the river.

Dean refers to Stewart as "Big Bang," which reminds me that I meant to ask, when we first learned his name, if he was a shout-out to Stewart the comic book store owner on Big Bang Theory. {Sidebar: Would this be a reciprocal shout-out, since that show has a character named Kripke? Is there a connection I don't know about?} Given Stewart's Wiccan girlfriend, they think the toy might have been under a spell, and they decide to check the house for hex bags later. Although I don't know how she would have left any in the house, since they never MIRLed.

Later. The guys are sitting in the car, still outside Stewart's house, when a little lumberjack and vampire walk by. Look, it’s Dean and Benny!

Sam’s instructing someone to use lamb's blood and "stay safe," because he's still Chief, Dean, whether you like it or not. Dean asks "seriously, what is your deal with Halloween," and "don't give me that 'every day is Halloween for us' crap." It's kind of odd that he doesn't already know. I mean, we already know. His life is Halloween. And his mother died two days after Halloween. {Sidebar: Is it just headcanon, fueled by fanfic, that John got blind stupid drunk every year around the anniversary of Mary's death? Or is that canon?} The conversation is interrupted when Stewart's mom leaves the house, and the guys have to duck - toward each other - to avoid being seen. It's ridiculous and hilarious and I love it.

Dean could have just taken off the Clark Kent glasses.

Sam suspects Stewart changed his story because he's being brutally mocked online. And he won't say the word bitch. Is this something we can't do now that we're airing at an earlier hour, Show? Then Stewart comes out of the house, bloody and screaming for help. Dean goes inside, gun drawn, and follows a trail of blood to Stewart's man cave (um, boy cave?). As he gazes at a Texas Chainsaw Massacre poster, he hears a chain saw, which hurtles into the room and barely misses his pretty head.

Hospital. Stewart's mom, still in costume, sits at his side and thanks the guys for saving his life. She wants to go home and get his favorite pillow, but they convince her to stay. "Everything's fine," Dean tells her. "Everything is not fine," he says to Sam, as they leave the room. He says he swept the room for hex bags and found nothing, but the EMF went crazy. So it's a ghost. Hey, guys, you should have watched the "Then." We already knew that. Dean is going to stay at the hospital and keep Mom from going back to the house, while Sam asks around to see if anybody "got dead lately."

At the house, Sam finds the light switch in the Den of Stewartitude doesn't work, even though a lamp and computer monitors are turned on in the room. He laughs at himself for being startled by the Panthro toy and says "nice, Sam, smooth," and for some reason this just almost makes my heart burst open. The toy isn't putting off EMF now, which he finds odd. Then he looks at one of the monitors and sees a group photo of Stewart, LadyBoss!Sam, Dean's doppelganger, and an older man.

Back at the hospital, Dean's doppelganger is standing outside Stewart's darkened room. He is wearing an army green canvas jacket and has acquired some scruff of his own and he's just such a precious little mini Dean; I can't stand it. He asks what Dean's doing there, and Dean says he's just keeping an eye on Stewart. "He must have awesome insurance," Doppelganger says. Which is very funny, and also very Dean, because he says "awesome" so much. I love it.

Dirk explains that Stewart is a jerk, but he's his best friend, and he's there when Dirk needs him. They eat pizza and watch movies and who else does that, my friends? You know who. Then the guys bond over their love of scary movies, and it looks like the franchise is actually called All Saints' Day. I'm sure you were really dying to know. Stewart comments that no hospital would ever be that empty, and Dean says he's been to a lot of hospitals at night, and "trust me, it gets pretty empty," and at first that's just heartbreaking because I figure he was at these hospitals because John or Sam were injured. But maybe he's just thinking about hunts in hospitals. (Again, I need to differentiate fic-fueled headcanon from actual canon.) And then Dean says he likes to watch movies "where I know the bad guy's gonna lose" and yep, my heart is definitely broken.

Sam shows up at the store and asks BossLady!Sam if anyone close to Stewart has died lately. She explains that Jordan, who used to own the store, was kind of a Willy Wonka to her, Stewart, and Dirk (Aha! His name is Dirk! Which is close to Dean, and hasn't Dean actually been called Dirk before?). He died and left the store to BossLady!Sam and Dirk. Not Stewart, because he fired him twice for stealing. But she hired him back because he's a friend. It seems like Stewart has better friends than he deserves. She tells Sam that Jordan was cremated, and then we see something frosting over behind her.

Sam is adorable, trying to look casual as he pulls out his EMF meter and it lights up like a Christmas tree. He tells her it's a carbon monoxide detector and she needs to leave. He starts to tell her she's in danger, and then the David Yeager statue smacks him into the comic book display and knocks him out cold. Even though he hits it with his back. (Handwave!)

When he wakes up, BossLady!Sam is terrified but unhurt. She gets a quick version of the "monsters are real" speech and finds that the door is locked, and Hatchet Man took the keys. He throws something at the door, but it's shatterproof glass. Apparently Jordan was serious about thieves, which explains why he's so keen on killing Stewart, that Panthro-stealing little asshole.

He calls Dean, who's fanboying with Dirk about horror movies, and tells him it's Jordan's ghost. And the David Yaeger figure is on its way. Dean can hardly believe his luck. He pours a ring of salt around Stewart's bed, having given him the speech, and orders him to stay in it. Boy, it's a good thing they reminded us what salt is for in the "Then," or else we'd be really confused right now.

Store. BossLady!Sam figured out what I did, that Jordan wants to kill Stewart because he's a thief. She says she's been taking money out of his check to pay for what he steals, but Jordan wouldn't know that. Sam breaks his lockpick, and then asks if they have any cleaning supplies.

Hospital. Ghost stuff starts happening in Stewart's room, and Dirk panics and flees. Dean takes a hatchet out of a fire emergency box, even though I think that would probably set off a fire alarm. (Handwave!) Dirk's mom is carrying a tray of food from the cafeteria and comes across the Yaeger figure. She drops her tray and screams, just like the woman in the movie. Dirk shows up and puts on a stern face and tells Jordan that if he's going to kill his friend, he has to go through him. Oh Dirk, you sweet little thing, you're channeling Dean so hard now and I adore you. Jordan does come for Dirk, who says "crap" and runs off. There's a funny sequence where we cut back and forth between Dirk and some hospital guards who are watching All Saints' Day and ignoring the actual mayhem happening on their monitors.

Meanwhile, Sam is mixing drain cleaner and something else in a Scooby Doo lunchbox. {Sidebar: I'm not a Scooby Doo fan, but I love the show's constant references to it and the way the Continuity Fairy always remembers Dean's a fan.} BossLady!Sam asks how he learned to do this, and he says "I had a messed up childhood." It's funny because it's true. He hangs the lunchbox bomb on the door and they hide behind the desk. After it blows the door open, they both slowly peek over the desk and simultaneously say "cool." I'm starting to love Sam and his little doppelganger too.

Hospital. Dirk hides in the morgue (no, Dirk, never in the morgue!) and gets a scary hand on his shoulder, but it's Dean. Then a body on one of the gurneys sits up. Yeah, it's Yaeger.

At this point there's a fake movie promo for All Saints' Day III: The Reckoning. It starts out "Three Years Ago," which reminds me very much of a certain scene that starts out "Twenty two years ago." Looks like David Yaeger was killed in a fire on October 31, 1983, which is two days before Mary Winchester dies in a fire. Oh, you clever, clever show.

Back to the show. Dean gleefully fights the Yaeger figure. At least he's gleeful until it seems he's not doing very well. Sam and BossLady!Sam show up, and she's wearing Jared's coat from the EW Halloween photoshoot last year.

Bless you, Show.

She figures out that Jordan must be attached to the Batman keychain. Meanwhile, Dean is cornered, and about to get axed, when precious little badass Dirk stabs Jordan in the back. It doesn't kill him, of course, but it gives Dean a chance to get up and start losing the fight again. The Sams run in and BossLady!Sam figures out that alcohol will help them burn the keychain faster. Whoosh! There goes Jordan, and the statue falls lifeless to the floor.

Aftermath. The guys tell Dirk and BossLady!Sam that everyone is safe now. The Impala scene starts with Dean thanking Sam for "giving me a win." Sam asks him to stop hiding out in his room. "What happened with Michael, you said yes for me, for Jack, for your family. You did the right thing." He says nothing Michael did afterward is Dean's fault, and he needs to stop blaming himself.

"I'm never gonna get over it, okay?" Dean says. "I'm just not." And once again, Sam could say "yes, I understand how you feel, because I've been there too," not to make this all about him, but just to commiserate and show Dean that he's not just blowing off his horrific experience, he knows how bad it was and he might have some good ideas about getting past it. And once again, he does not. But that's okay. What isn't okay is what happens next. Dean asks again why Sam hates Halloween, and Sam tells some ridiculous story about having a crush on a girl in sixth grade and throwing up on her at her Halloween party, and you know what? I just refuse to accept this. WE KNOW WHY SAM HATES HALLOWEEN. AND IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH A GIRL IN SIXTH GRADE. I don't know why you're doing this to me, Davy Perez. You're usually so good about canon. I cannot accept that Sam Winchester, whose entire life has been Halloween, whose mother died two days after Halloween, is distressed because of something that happened in sixth grade. I'm going to pretend this part never happened. Who's with me?

Dean says that next year, he and Sam are going to wear couples costumes (and if you happened to be wearing your shipping goggles, I think I heard you squealing). Batman and Robin. Bert and Ernie. (!) Rocky and Bullwinkle. (!!) Shaggy and Scooby. Turner and Hooch. Ren and Stimpy. Thelma and Louise. "We just it in drive and go." {Sidebar: Who wants the show to end that way, Thelma and Louise style?}

Meanwhile, back at the hospital, one of those useless security guards finds the Yaeger figure in the morgue. The guys left it there? Oh well. It's a good horror movie ending.

So! For the most part, this was just what I needed after three episodes of mytharc. A good MOTW with lots of humor and nods to canon. On the other hand, there's that one thing. But since I'm ignoring that one thing, I guess this was a fantastic episode! What did you guys think?

Please help me stay unspoiled, thanks!