#even when mom and dad came back from the funeral they came out and watched | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

psychedelic-ink · 2 years ago

Text

𝐂𝐑𝐘 𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘.

DAY SIX OF HAUNTED HOEDOWN

prompt: slasher au (still takes place in the tlou'verse) + sex in the woods or somewhere public (added bonus if it includes knife, blood, hunter x prey kink)

pairing: joel miller x f!reader

genre: explicit smut, minors dni, soft dark fic, horror, murder mystery

summary: bodies have been dropping left and right in the most brutal ways in jackson. as the relentless wave of deaths continues, your mind becomes increasingly restless. however, you find a sense of comfort and solace in the presence of joel. who might be hiding secrets of his own.

word count: 10k (i don't know what happened)

warnings: dubcon at the end, knife kink, descriptive canon typical violence, blood & mild gore, grief and death, an unpleasant guy hitting on you, murder, face-sitting, throat-fucking, mutual oral sex (69), dirty talk, possessive!joel, exhibitionism (tommy watches very briefly, he also kisses you in a platonic way), sex in the woods, piv, Joel is actually quite nice if you exclude the murders, mild breeding kink, size kink, little bit of blood kink

a/n: the owl mask joel wears in this to hide who he is is inspired by @softlyspector's post about the tawny owl mug joel uses in tlou part 2 which I still get sad if I think about it for too long 😭

Bodies have been dropping dead all around you long before the outbreak.

Maybe not in the everyone-you-know-is-getting-infected-and-killing-people type of way, but more so in a death-never-felt-like-a-stranger-to-you sort of way. Yet, you still don’t know how to deal with death. Your grief is as violent as a butterfly flapping its wings; the strength of it non-existent but you never know where, or when, it’ll cause a storm.

First, it was your grade school teacher. You didn’t have a particularly strong bond with her but you did like her. You still remember how your friend's voice quaked as she gave you the news on a landline. You couldn’t believe it and had to accuse her of making a joke, even though you knew she would never joke about something like this. Then your dad took the phone from you and you just assumed your friend's mom did the same. The next week, when you went back to school and the funeral was now behind all the children in the classroom, the custodian cut the last tablecloth your teacher had used for her desk and gave a piece to each and every one of you. It was a vibrant orange cloth with daisies scattered around – ugly, but you still cherished it.

Then it was your pets, grandparents – there was also the time when your pet-crazed neighbor adopted another smaller dog while she still had two untrained, over-energized dogs, and the two twins ripped the other dog apart. You had seen the carnage. By some miracle, that small, fluffy dog named Sugar was still breathing, alive. You had held a blood bag over the dog's head, hoping that the small animal wouldn't die.

She didn’t die that day, but it sure as hell left a scar on you.

As a kid, you never seemed to quite grasp the ways of grieving. You didn’t get angry. You didn’t cry. You just. . thought about it. However, the emotions came differently when you became an adult. Now when someone close to you died, you felt it more violently, oddly enough you still fought against the tears and only cried when you were alone.

On Outbreak Day, you lost everything.

Your family, your friends—your life, now it was all about survival, but survival towards what, you didn’t know. You killed for it, fought for it. Yet every move you made felt automatic like you were wired to at least try and survive — to wait it out and not be left behind when civilization rebuilt itself once more.

You made some friends along the way and lost some friends too. You locked their faces and their memories in your heart, only unlocking the box when you were truly and utterly alone.

Then you found Jackson.

And you met Joel and Tommy Miller.

Your official title is scavenger but you much prefer to label yourself as an explorer instead.

You’ve adapted to your quite well life at Jackson. You go beyond the borders, sometimes alone and sometimes with other fellow explorers, and gather supplies or try to pinpoint other locations threats might be lurking in. You’re about to go on another trip, this one shorter than your regular one to two-week expeditions, but before heading out you decide to stop by the only bakery in Jackson named The Last Crumb—previously named The Cordyceps Crumb but Maria decided it was in bad taste. You, on the other hand, had found it funny and topical.

As you patiently wait in line, your camping bag waiting for you outside the bakery, someone bumps into you from behind, then never moves back.

You turn with a raised eyebrow, not enjoying the close proximity, “Excuse you,” you snap. The man looks at you with a hint of mischief in his eyes, you roll your eyes when you recognize the face. “Move back a beat Tucker, I’m not in the mood this morning.”

“Someone didn’t get her beauty sleep,” he grins but moves away regardless. “Want me to come with you this time? Sweet thing like you alone out there? It’s ain’t right.”

“You can barely aim. Why would I want someone that’s most likely to get me killed around me?”

“I think you’ll find my company to be plenty entertaining.”

You’re about to gag when the bell of the bakery chimes, the sharp sound echoing through the wooden walls. Your face must've shown immense signs of relief because Tucker turns around to see who you're looking at. His instant frown makes you want to laugh and chuck him between the two men you’d describe as a wolf den.

“Well, if it ain’t the Miller brothers,” Tucker tuts, attempting to give one of them a friendly pat on the shoulder. He stops midway when Joel’s gaze flits between you and him, his glare hard enough to cut diamonds.

So he ends up slapping Tommy’s shoulder instead, which isn’t the best thing since you know the younger Miller hates Tucker. But among the brothers, he’s probably the one with less probability of getting your hand bitten off.

“Mornin’ Tucker,” Tommy answers, forcing a smile.

Joel is less friendly, his words directed at you, “Is this dumbass botherin’ you again?”

“I wouldn't exactly call a greeting among friends “botherin’,” Tucker says. “We’re just catchin’ up, no need to get your panties in a bunch Miller.”

“God, you’re one word away from ruining my morning,” you hiss, glaring at the unpleasant man. “And we’re not friends.”

His brows furrow, eyes going hard with an ugly snarl accompanying them, you feel braver when Tommy and Joel are around so you hold his gaze, not flinching away.

Tommy is the one to ease the tension. He lays a hand on Tucker’s shoulder and squeezes, drawing the man’s attention away from you. “I’ll get you what you want a’right Tucker? It’s on me. Just go wait outside.”

“But—”

“Outside, Tuck,” Tommy repeats and you shudder at his tone.

Tucker’s shoulders drop, defeated, “Fine, get me a raisin bagel.”

He doesn’t wait for Tommy’s response and heads out the bakery. You finally release the breath you’ve been holding, your muscles relaxing along with the exhaled breath. Joel is by your side in the blink of an eye, his broad shoulder brushing yours providing comfort.

“You sure you’re a’right?” he asks, gently curling fingers under your chin. “The prick didn’t do anythin’?”

“Nah, nothing. He’s all bark but no bite. He asked if he wanted to join me today as if that buffoon wouldn’t get me killed.” you shrug, men being assholes was nothing new to you. You’re just glad that in Jackson it seems that there are more good apples than rotten ones. “Too bad even paradise comes with drawbacks.”

Joel snorts as Tommy cuts in, “Maria would be thrilled if she heard you calling it paradise.”

“What are you smiling at? You think you can find anywhere better?” You playfully nudge Joel with your elbow. “You know there’s nothing but hell out there.”

“I do, I just think callin’ here a paradise is a bit of a stretch is all.”

The line moves and the three of you are finally at the counter, “You’re just a grump,” you tease Joel before turning your gaze to Poppy, the barista who knows everything about everyone. “Hey there, Poppy, the usual please.”

“And a damn raisin bagel,” Tommy adds.

“Well, isn’t it my favorite trio,” Poppy grins. “I’ll get all that ready for you in a second,” she locks her blue eyes on you and leans closer, you mimic her by instinct. “By the way have you heard of Ian? He wound up dead right outside the chopping block, an axe right through his chest.”

You frown, “Good morning to you too, Poppy. Jesus Christ.”

“I’ll confess I didn’t love the guy but isn’t it worrying that there’s a killer among us?” she murmurs while stuffing the goodies in paper bags. “Be careful out there.”

“Well, if the culprit is here I think I might be safer out there,” you say and turn to Tommy. “Does Maria know?”

“Of course, she does,” when you part your lips to say more, he lifts a finger and shoots you a crooked smile. “It’s confidential.”

“Aw man, can’t you just tell us who she thinks it is?” Poppy asks, Tommy shakes his head and she lets out a dramatic sigh, “I miss my murder mystery books.”

“I’ll try to find you something while I’m out,” you say, ignoring the way your heart began to race. Jackson is still a small town, it’s jarring to think someone might be out there, looking for their next target. “Though I think we could all do with a little less murder.”

You hadn’t expected your voice to crack but your tone had betrayed you. Poppy extends you the bag of goods and a latte, as you reach out you feel Joel’s hand on your waist. His lips touch your ear. “Don’t worry about it, sweetheart. I’m sure whoever it is is only goin’ after those who deserve it.”

You lock your eyes with him, blinking heavily at the weight of his words. His voice had dropped, nothing but gravel as he whispered the words into your ear. A cold sensation slithers down your spine, chilling you to your core and making your throat tighten.

His hand never leaves your waist as the three of you head out, and after a while, that chill slowly dissolves into a pleasurable warmth.

You find solace in the woods. You love Jackson, but being in the woods away from everyone and everything makes you feel comforted. The first time you went scavenging, there was a slight fear in your movements; no matter how good your aim was, any kind of infected was difficult to kill.

But now you walk with ease. There isn’t an ounce of worry in your bones. The trees rustle happily and the smell of flowers and pine fills your nostrils. You can feel your lungs rejuvenating with every breath. Trickles of orange sunlight pour from the gaps of the trees. The sun sets, meaning you need to set up camp soon.

While unpacking, you think of this morning. How Joel and Tommy stepped in when Tucker started bothering you. Honestly, you didn’t need their protection; Tucker is just one of those men who think they might have a shot if they bother you enough times. Still, it was nice to be claimed in a way, to be accepted into a family and cared for.

Your breath hitches slightly. Tommy, you see as a close friend, a brother perhaps, but Joel... Joel is another thing. Just thinking about him is enough to start a wildfire between your legs. You wish you were brave enough to do something about it, though. Whenever you two patrol together or stay awake late at night drinking, you always chicken out in the end. It doesn’t matter how his hands linger on your thighs or his eyes drop to your lips; you're just never convinced that the Joel Miller would be interested in you beyond a friend.

An unease starts to settle in the pit of your stomach. As the air grows colder with the approaching night, your skin prickles and you feel the phantom sensation of claws dragging down your back. You set the tent as quickly as you can, your eyes darting around the depths of the forest. Briefly, you bend over to adjust the ropes.

A breath warm and damp ghosts the back of your neck and you jump, gun in hand as you turn around only to find—

Nothing.

And no one.

Your heart is hammering in your chest, adrenaline pumping in your veins, a drop of sweat trickling down your forehead. You've never had a trigger finger, but you'd be lying if you said you didn't want to just shoot every shadow you see.

“Dammit Poppy,” you mutter, annoyed that she gave you the brutal knowledge of Ian’s death right before you were heading out. Guilt stings at your heart. Ian was an asshole for sure, and you don’t exactly feel bad that he’s gone, but still, it was an eerie thought that someone had murdered him so violently. It had to be personal.

Some part of you wishes Joel was here, or even Tucker, just another human being to tell you you’re just seeing things.

You take a deep inhale and follow it up with a long exhale. You’re fine. There’s no one here.

You give your surroundings one last suspicious look before going back to setting the tent.

No matter how hard you try you can’t shake the feeling of someone watching you amongst the shadows.

Joel hears crickets and owls. The night had always been his friend since the outbreak. He had become a violent man with an equally violent heart. He waits in the shadows, watching. Laughter and playful shouts echo from the bar, and soon the door swings open; the man he's been waiting for crawls out of the establishment, shit-faced. The drunk man shouts his farewells and staggers toward his home.

Joel follows, his mask heating up the skin that lays underneath. His fingers itch with the need to wring that asshole's neck. One by one, he had been cleaning Jackson for the better. His tendencies subdued while also doing some good. Ian was one of those people who deserved it and Joel had enjoyed the chase, the pleas, he especially enjoyed the way he tripped and cried right before he sunk the blade of the axe through Ian’s chest.

Tucker trips, making Joel want to laugh. The idiot might not even realize he’s being hunted. Joel looks around, they are far enough for the chase to begin. Tucker continues to slip and fall as he attempts to get up. Taking the opportunity, Joel walks towards him with quick steps, making sure the first thing the asshole sees is his mask.

Tucker notices him before he gets up, his hands bracing the ground, his eyes go wide, “What the fuck?”

Joel only tilts his head. He sees the trembles rolling down the other man’s body, he relishes in his fear.

“Look man, I don’t want any trouble, whoever the fuck you are so. . . scram.”

Joel’s eyes dart to his hand on the dirt, without a second thought he lifts his foot and curb stomps Tucker’s hand. Then he kicks the side of his face, an audible crunch echoing before his scream could. The man whimpers and falls back in his attempt to crawl away. He holds his jaw, blood streaming down his broken nose.

“Who the fuck are you?!”

He steps closer and watches as Tucker’s eyes bug out. He’s too drunk to properly run away or even scream. Such an easy target. He grips the other’s hair and lifts him to his feet, he can feel the strands starting to rip from his scalp one by one, Tucker’s face twisting in pain. “Your worst fuckin’ nightmare,” Joel answers eerily calm. It doesn’t matter if Tucker recognizes him. He’d be dead soon enough anyway.

“P-Please,” he begs, realizing the same thing. “I’ll do whatever you want promise. I don’t want to die.”

Joel grunts, not dignifying his pleas with an answer. Lifting his other hand, his knuckles connect to Tucker’s face with a loud crunch, body flying to the ground headfirst.

He pulls out his knife and drops down, ignoring the ache in his knees, he grabs Tucker’s arm and aligns the sharp blade against his wrist. Tucker notices, his face going pale as a ghost. “D-Don’t—”

Joel doesn’t bat an eye as blood spurts violently over his clothes and the dirt. Drops of crimson seeping into the fabric. The knife cuts through the flesh like butter, severing hand from bone. His hand clamps over Tucker’s mouth. Joel smiles as his screams bounce off of the palm of his hand.

You come back to Jackson hand empty and earlier than intended. You were too much at unease, and being so jarred wasn’t the best while scavenging for supplies alone. During your trip, you did end up scribbling something for Poppy. It wasn’t finished but you hoped she would enjoy the first draft of the first chapter. It was mostly descriptions of what you felt, a cat-and-mouse game between two people who had bumped into each other accidentally.

While heading into Jackson, you notice a crowd in the distance. You promptly get off your horse and walk with haste. You recognize Joel and Tommy easily, both brothers standing on each end of the crowd like gates keeping a herd of sheep in check. Ellie is standing right next to Joel, lifting herself on her toes to see; Joel is holding her back by gripping the cap of her hood.

“What’s going on?” you ask.

Joel turns to you, his eyebrows raising when notices it’s you and not some random person he has to ignore, “You’re back,” he says. A statement rather than a question.

“Yeah, wasn’t feeling that well,” you shrug him off. “So what happened?”

His eyes turn to steel, his jaw locking in place. Before you can ask again, he gestures for you to move up the crowd with a tilt of his head.

“Lucky,” you hear Ellie murmur as you walk ahead, gently pushing those who were looking at the sight with concern. With every step you take, the murmur of the crowd fades into the background, becoming nothing more than white noise. Maria is addressing the crowd, you think, though you're not entirely sure. The scent of blood is thick in the air, disorienting you as you get closer.

Your eyes go wide, the earth slips from beneath you but your expression remains emotionless.

It’s Tucker.

You feel as if you’re standing alone. As if you’re the only one taking in the sight of absolute horror and gore. Tucker is lying in a pile of his own blood face first, his eyes are open and lifeless, his one hand is outstretched like he’s about to crawl away.

His right hand, however, is chopped off.

It’s not even a clean-cut. The edges of his flesh are jagged and crooked, his blood-caked where his hand should be. Whoever did this cut it so it would hurt, so he would suffer tremendously.

You can’t help but gasp, covering your mouth with your right hand. You begin to shake, confusion churning in your stomach as bile coats your tongue. He’s dead. Just like Ian.

When Maria’s eyes find your own, she narrows her gaze, a small warning for you to keep it together. You can’t though. How could you? Tucker was alive and kicking a couple of days ago, just being his annoying self around Jackson.

“Calm down,” you hear Joel mutter into your ear. You shiver at the brush of his lips. “It’s okay. You’re safe.”

Safe. You want to laugh. You don’t even know what that word means anymore.

Joel’s mouth moves over the shell of your ear, “He was a nuisance. Don’t feel bad now that he’s dead.”

“I didn’t want him to die,” you hiss back. “And knowing there’s a serial killer out there doesn’t exactly make me feel safe.”

Despite your half-angry tone, you find yourself leaning into Joel’s presence. Your shoulder presses into his broad chest, and without missing a beat he wraps his arms around your shaking frame. Relief comes in the form of warmth spreading along your chest, tingles forming at the tips of your fingers and toes. The voices of the crowd gradually come back but you only hear one of the many questions.

“What do you think the message means?”

Confusion crosses your face, brows furrowing as you try to make sense of it. Joel makes a choked-out sound that could’ve easily been taken as an amused chuckle.

Then your eyes drop to Tucker’s outstretched hand and his dying message written in blood.

O W L

A week had passed since Tucker’s death.

You've been thinking about both murders relentlessly, trying to piece together everything that you know so far. During this time, you're grateful for Poppy, who comes by almost every night to help you try to solve the case. That's been your sole focus for the past few weeks; you haven't been scavenging since you spooked yourself so badly that you returned early, only to find Tucker dead.

Some part of you thinks that the eeriness you felt that day was a sign of what was about to happen. It's also an odd coincidence that he ended up dead the same night he harassed you in the morning. However, there are no forensic investigators in Jackson, so it’s almost impossible to determine the exact time of death. That fact alone makes you anxious. It only means that whoever is killing everyone has nothing to worry about because even if they leave traces, who’s going to know?

In order to keep your nerves in check you end up writing a lot. You haven’t shown any of it to Poppy yet but you’re excited. You never thought writing a thriller would be the perfect way to escape the horrors of your actual life. At least in your stories, you have control.

You also visit Joel and vice versa.

Something had shifted the day he held you as you both gazed upon Tucker’s lifeless body. Maybe it was just you who felt bolder since death was once again right around the corner — or maybe Joel just felt more protective now, wanting to check on you as much as he could.

“You’re really writin’ a whole ass novel?” he asks, pouring you a glass of scotch. You still can’t get over the fact that it nearly tasted identical to the actual stuff. Jackson is truly a miracle; at least when bodies aren’t dropping left and write.

Ellie’s at a sleepover, which means you and Joel have the whole house to yourselves. With everything going on you’d expect your libido to diminish a bit but it’s as strong as ever, ready to go.

You smile as he places the glass in front of you, “Yeah,” you say, picking up the glass and heading toward the living room. “I couldn’t find Poppy anything to read and it helps me relax.”

“Relax, how?” he asks, taking a seat next to you. The couch dips with his weight, and heat crawls up from your chest to your neck when his knee brushes against yours.

“Well, it’s a horror thing. Horror slash mystery? I don’t know—whatever it is, it’s nice to have an outlet to escape what’s been happening lately.”

“So to escape brutal murders you write more brutal murders?”

You chuckle at the way his eyebrows raise, eyes going wide, “I don’t really focus that much on the gore. It’s more psychological, my sweet brute. Things don’t need to have blood to be scary.”

His grin is wide and instant, dark eyes lighting up with amusement, “What did you just call me?”

“I. . .” Your breath catches in your throat as you stare at him, suddenly realizing what you’d said.

“What cat got your tongue?” he teases. Joel leans closer, fingers dancing along the curve of your shoulder. You can feel the gravel in his voice. “You just called me yours, sweetheart. Does that jog your memory?”

“I also called you brute,” you quip back immediately, cheeks aflame. “It doesn’t mean anything.”

“Don’t it?” his palm now presses fully into your shoulder, keeping you in place in case you might run. Joel tilts his head slightly, the plush of his lips only an inch away. “I like you callin’ me that,” the pink of his tongue swipes over his bottom lip. “Say it again.”

“S-Say what?”

A small chuckle parts his lips, oddly enough it almost feels like his patience is wearing thin. He comes closer, the tip of his nose brushing yours. “That I’m yours,” he clarifies. “Been waitin’ to hear those words come from your mouth since I met you.”

“You’re mine,” you whisper against his lips, eyelids fluttering but not quite closing. With the confession, you feel the brush of Joel’s lips on yours. His tongue traces the seam of your mouth. You part for him with a moan, and taking the opportunity, he slides inside, tasting every inch of you.

His lips taste and feel like the forests you wander off to; it soothes you, calms your nerves, and has the taste of home. They’re chapped from the sun, yet soft. You can’t have enough of him, if he’d offered, you’d gladly kiss him forever.

Joel parts with a shaky breath, his chest heaving, “And you’re mine,” he groans, his eyes dark with arousal. It’s an involuntary action but your eyes drop to the front of his pants where you see the thick outline of his cock.

Your mouth goes dry, yet you manage to speak anyway, “Are words all you’ve been waiting for?” It’s bold, you’re highly aware, but you can’t help it when he’s this close. His scent suffocating, pulling you to him like a moth to a flame.

He stares at you silently. His thumb touches your bottom lip, slightly tugging it down. He’s not smiling anymore, only observing.

“No,” Joel answers slowly. He leans towards your ears, the thick hairs above his lips tickling your skin. “I’ve also been waitin’ to feel that velvet tongue on my cock, honey. And to feel how tight your throat gets when you take every inch of me.”

Joel blows a puff of air, it caresses your skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake. He brings your hand to the front of his pants, dragging your palm up and down his length. You shudder. The heat of it seeps into your palm despite the thick fabric of his jeans, you lick your lips absentmindedly. “This is all for you sweetheart.”

“Fuck, Joel. . .” your eyes roll back when he kisses your neck, open-mouthed kisses laid upon your skin like a gift. Your nipples tighten and if you look down right now, you know you’ll see them peeking through your shirt.

He reads your thoughts, eyes moving down before meeting your gaze again. “Didn’t know you walked around without a bra, sunshine.”

“I only go braless when I’m comfortable,” you answer. Joel cups your breasts roughly, kneading the flesh, he simultaneously sucks on your neck, teeth nipping the sensitive skin. “Oh god,” the fabric of your panties grows damp and you clench your thighs together.

“Not god,” he says sharply, sinking his teeth into you. “Joel.”

“Joel,” you moan and arch your back, filling more of yourself into his palm. You squeeze his cock, relishing in the way he makes a strangled sound. “I want to suck you off, Joel.”

“Be my guest.”

You push him until he’s lying on the couch. You’re about to unbutton his jeans but he stops you.

“Turn around,” he says.

“What?”

His wide grin nearly stops your heart, “Want to taste that sweet pussy, sunshine. Strip down and take a seat.”

“On—On your face?”

“Where else?”

You’re too embarrassed to speak, tongue suddenly too big in your mouth. Quickly, and a bit clumsily, you strip down and turn before straddling his chest. You don’t need to touch yourself to know that you’re soaked.

You swallow, “I’ve never done this before.”

His hands come up to cradle your hips, urging you to move back towards his face. You feel the blunt sting of his nails.

“That’s alright,” he mutters. “I won’t let you fall if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“I’m more worried about how I’m gonna move, or accidentally suffocating you.”

“What a noble way it would be to go.”

“Joel!” you laugh, playfully smacking his thigh. He answers by giving your hips another squeeze, you surrender and move back until you’re hovering over his face. Your hand planted firmly over his hip bones, you lower yourself. You shudder as his tongue licks a stripe between your folds. He moans into your cunt, pulling you flush against his face.

Meanwhile, you finally unzip his pants and pull his cock out, the heft of it bumping against your nose and lips. You drip at the smell of him and swear he smiles as he sucks on your aching clit, short-circuiting your brain with arousal. His cock throbs in your palm, a drop of precome glistening at the tip. Your mouth watering, you lean forward and clean him off. Another groan echoes within his chest and he thrusts forward, the tip of his cock kissing your lips.

Eyes fluttering closed, you suck on the bulbous head and force yourself to go down until he hits the back of your throat. You wrap a hand around the base, stroking where you can’t fit, and hallow your cheeks.

“Come on, sunshine. You can take me,” he rasps. “You’re mine, aren’t you? That mouth is meant to take me.”

Without waiting for an answer, Joel pushes his tongue inside, your walls clenching around the wet muscle—you let out a loud gasp and grind down, then you feel the sting of his palm against your ass, pain blossoming from where he smacked.

Your throat rattles with a moan and Joel takes the opportunity to drive forward, your eyes go wide as you feel the length of him sliding down your throat, cutting the air from your lungs.

“Oh, fuck—” he moans unabashedly, the sounds sending a pleasurable tingle down your spine despite the strain on your throat. “That’s it, sweetheart, just like that. Fuck, fuck—”

Your throat tightens around him, your lungs starting to burn. His hand caresses both sides of your ass, the abrupt pain of the smack from before subduing, “Relax,” he says, swirling his tongue around your clit. “Breathe through your nose. Just a bit more. . .”

Your nails bite into his thighs as you attempt to follow instructions. You relax your throat and slowly begin to breathe from your nose. It’s still difficult, but your lungs rejoice in the minimal amount of air that comes through. You make a mess of him. Saliva dripping from the corner of your mouth and down his length.

“That’s it, that’s my girl,” he murmurs. “Gonna fuck that pretty throat now and make this pussy come, understood?”

Eyes tearing up, you nod. From the way your stomach convulses, you know that you’re close, your skin tight over your trembling muscles. The nod is all that Joel needs from you. Holding you in place, he snaps his hips forward, burying himself completely down your throat while flicking his tongue against your clit. You scream around him, eyes rolling back as he continues to devour you and take you apart at the same time. He licks you with fat strokes of his tongue, a hint of teeth scraping your folds here and there as he fucks your throat with shallow thrusts.

You’re limp against his broad body, allowing him to use you as he pleases while all you can do is hang on for the ride. Pleasure licks the base of your spine, a searing heat caressing your skin while Joel continues to build you up only for you to fall spectacularly. Your lips start to ache, your throat squeezing around him whenever he snaps his hips forward—

And all hell finally breaks loose.

You come undone with a devastating cry only for it to be muffled by his cock going down your throat. You gush around his tongue, soaking his facial hair and mouth, Joel is underrated, licking and sucking until you’re shaking above him, every bit of tension draining from your body.

Joel comes shortly after, his hand slides from your waist and he manages to reach out in order to hold your head down. You don’t have a choice but to swallow as he spills down your throat, thick spurts of come going down while he shudders and pushes even deeper.

There’s so much of it, cock twitching and throbbing in your mouth until your mouth sucks him dry. You’re lightheaded from the lack of air; you find that it adds to the pleasure that’s buzzing in your veins, your cunt still pulsing with the heft of him still buried in your lips.

He pulls out with a satisfied groan and you manage to scoot down so you’re straddling his chest instead of head. Joel caresses your back, the gentle repeated motion sending tingles down your spine.

“That’s was fuckin’ amazin’,” he says, voice hoarse. “Are you okay?”

“Y-Yeah,” you answer sounding meek. “I think I need some water though.”

You get off, legs still shaking, but he grabs your hand, halting your movement. “Let me get it for you,” he says, sitting up.

“I’m already up,” you smile as his brows furrow with worry, the expression warming your heart. You quickly bend down to kiss him and he’s quick to lick himself into your mouth, tasting himself on your tongue. “I’ll be right back.”

You have no idea how you’re standing while feeling like jello but you manage to get yourself all the way to the fridge. You smile at the coolness touching your warmed skin when you open the door. Scanning the interior, you thoughtlessly rub at your throat in an attempt to soothe the ache a little. You grab the pitcher of cold water and notice a bit of apple pie left over.

“Hey, Joel?” you call out. He hums in acknowledgment. “Can I have a slice of pie?”

His humored chuckle follows through, “You can eat the whole damn thing after what you’ve done,” you smile and take the desert out. “Can you bring me a slice too?” he adds.

You smile and place the pie on the counter. The leftover is already two slices give or take so you decide to just take two forks with you instead of dirting a plate. Looking through the drawers, you try to remember which one is the cutlery drawer.

On your second try you find something else.

Something that makes your eyes go wide and heart throb painfully.

Your hands shaking, you pick up the owl mask from the drawer. The surface is smooth, and the color of it a light shade of brown just like a tawny owl. All the pleasant tingles fade away, the buzz of pleasure in your veins replaced by fear and adrenaline.

Heading back to the living room, you show the mask to Joel.

“What’s this?” you ask, your voice betraying your sudden outburst of fear.

Joel looks up, eyes flitting between you and the owl mask. He raises a brow, his confusion evident across his face. “It’s a mask, sweetheart.”

“No no, I know it’s a mask,” you answer, breathless. “But why do you have it?”

“It’s Ellie’s,” he stands up, his pants still unbuttoned but pulled up. You fight the urge to step away, fight the urge to flinch when he touches your cheek. “They were makin’ Halloween masks last year in school. I didn’t even realize we still had it.”

“Really?” you ask and he nods.

“Really,” Joel claims your lips in a chaste kiss, thumb stroking lines up and down your cheek. His hand slithers down your arm to your wrist and when he squeezes, you drop the mask. “Why?” he breathes into you. “Is this about the damn thing Tucker wrote down?”

You remain silent and he pulls away, dark eyes boring into yours.

“You need to relax, sweetheart,” he mumbles. “Why don’t you just allow yourself to enjoy this? You deserve to be happy.”

Your eyes widen with surprise, his words crashing into you, “I. . . Do I do that? Really?”

“It’s normal, darlin’,” he answers. “I’m pretty sure we all have survivor’s guilt.”

You let out a shaky exhale. He’s right. You were just feeling guilty of being alive when so many had died. Joel smiles back and traces the curve of yours with his fingers. “There’s that smile that I adore,” he guides you towards the kitchen. “Now let’s go eat some pie.”

No matter what though, you can’t help but turn back to look at the owl mask one last time as it lays lifelessly on the floor.

“So, tell me about this book you’re writin’?”

You let out a low laugh, “I already told you about it. What more do you wanna know?”

You stare at Joel’s back as he takes the lead, he’d decided to join you in your explorations ever since you told him how nervous you had gotten the last time. You had appreciated the gesture but still felt a tad anxious around him ever since you found that damn owl mask—

A branch snaps into two under your steps and he turns, extending his hand to you. With a smile you allow him to lace his fingers within yours, your stomach jumping a little as he tugs you close so the two of you are walking side by side instead.

“If memory serves me right we got distracted when you told me about it,” he says with that southern drawl of his. “So tell me again what it’s about.”

“Okay okay,” you smile, squeezing his hand twice. “It’s all a big mess now but the premise is that there’s this guy obsessed with this woman and he stalks her and no matter what she does, she always feels like there’s someone watching.”

Joel looks ahead, “Sounds familiar. Isn’t that how you felt last time you were out here?”

“Yeah, and it’s when I started writing it.”

“So do these two people know each other?” his tone drops, his fingers suddenly feeling like barbed wire within your hand. You swallow. “I mean in their regular lives, does the woman know that he’s the one stalkin’ her?”

You roll your shoulders, a weak attempt to shrug off the eeriness that you feel.

“Exactly. I think that just makes the whole thing creepier. He’s just a normal guy, even a friend, but he’s also the one among the shadows.”

“Interestin’,” he murmurs. “You think that’s happenin’ to you?”

“I don’t think there’s someone stalking me, if that’s what you’re asking,” you utter every word hastily, your pulse quickening under your skin.

His lips curl in a half smile, “That’s good,” he says. “Wouldn’t want you to be laying awake thinking about what might lingerin’ on the other side of the window.”

“I think I’m more likely to stay awake thinking about infected,” you say with a soft laugh. “But yeah, it’s all fiction. That day I probably just got scared because of what Poppy said about Ian.”

“Probably,” Joel trails off, his steps slowing. “How do you think it’s gonna end?”

“W-What?”

He stops and so does your heart. At least you think it does.

Joel faces you fully, his presence towering, he grips your shoulders and pushes you back until the air is knocked from your lungs by a tree right behind you. Your eyes go wide. He leans in, breath tickling your lips.

“How do you think your book is gonna end, sweetheart?” he asks again, eyes gleaming with something dark. “Is the guy gonna get the girl?”

“I—I don’t know.”

All you can think about is the owl mask and how it would perfectly fit his face. He cocks his head and taking a step closer, he slips a leg between your thighs. Slick gathers at your underwear—he feels the fabric dampening on his leg and grins.

“Fear turns you on doesn’t it?” he purrs. “Wicked thing.”

Relief drowns your senses. So that’s why he got all weird suddenly, he’s just teasing you. With a laugh, your head falls back against the tree trunk, “Jesus Joel, you scared the shit out of me.”

“It ain’t my fault,” he says, nipping at your chin. “You’re easy to scare.”

“Well, two brutal unsolvable murders will do that to a girl.”

Joel lets go and pulls away, smiling as he shakes his head, “What’s it gonna take for you to believe I had nothin’ to do with those? Even in death, Tucker causes nothin’ but fuckin’ trouble for me.”

“You don’t need to do anything, I’m sorry,” you pull him back, relishing in the way his strong arms wrap around your frame. “I’ll stop being such a chicken, promise. I’m still a bit jittery that’s all.”

“I forgive you,” he says against your lips, kissing you quickly before pulling you away from the thick trunk of the tree. “Now let’s find a place to settle down for the night.”

When you two return to Jackson three days later, the first thing you notice is the crowd. Your stomach drops at the familiar sight and instinctively you reach out to Joel, lacing your fingers together. He squeezes your hand two times.

The last thing you should be feeling is relief that now it’s not possible for Joel to be the one killing all those people but alas, that’s all you feel. Relief and love.

The trade fair sprawls before you. Stalls with makeshift awnings, tattered banners, and worn tarps create a patchwork quilt of colors, beneath which a diverse array of goods is proudly displayed. The air is thick with the scent of freshly baked bread, the tang of cured leather, and the earthy aroma of herbs. Laughter, chatter, and the occasional clinking of metal form a lively symphony, a chorus of life that drowns out the ever-present background hum of death and infection.

You’ve always enjoyed the time of the trade fair. People move like busy ants, weaving between the stalls. Children, their cheeks dusted with earth, dart through the crowd, their carefree laughter that should be comforting doing the opposite. Since Tina’s death— she was one of the council members— you had been sleeping at Joel’s. Neither he nor Ellie seemed to mind you staying there.

The purpose of the fair is to exchange goods – to exchange, to connect, to share stories of survival.

Your eyes scan the crowd for Joel's familiar silhouette. He and Ellie had headed out before you since you wanted a change of clothes. Just as your gaze begins to falter, a voice reaches your ears. "Hey!" It's Poppy, she waves you over.

You navigate your way through the bustling stalls until you stand before Poppy. She's leaning against a rough-hewn post, a glint of excitement in her eyes.

“Hey, Poppy,” you greet her with a smile. “I’m looking for Joel, or Ellie, have you seen either of them?”

“Well, Ellie is with Dina, hanging out,” She points to the forest that skirts the settlement. "I saw him heading that way not too long ago."

“Alright, thanks. I’ll see you later then,” Waving her off, you head after Joel.

The trees are a bit more scarce here, there’s more room between them. The forest opens up, revealing a sprawling expanse that stretches as far as the eye can see. It's a stark contrast to the dense woods you often travel to, where the trees stand like guardians, their branches interlocking in a tapestry of shadow and light. Here, the gaps between the trees create pockets of sunlight that dapple the forest floor.

However, the expanses between trees can be deceiving, and without the markers and familiarity of the well-trodden paths closer to home, it's easy to lose your way.

For some reason instead of calling out for Joel, you decide to wander aimlessly. You’re not sure why. You don’t come to this side of Jackson often enough to feel comfortable with your surroundings and shouting his name would definitely be easier than walking without aim.

Soon enough you hear faint murmuring beckoning you deeper into the forest.

Survival instincts kicking in, you slow down your steps, making sure to step onto clear dirt instead of gravel or fallen branches. Hiding behind a rather large tree trunk, you stare ahead. In the distance, you see two men: one with his back against the tree, while the other holds him by the neck, the sharp blade of his knife catching the sunlight and reflecting it directly into your eyes.

You hold your breath and your eyes go wide. You hear the thrum of your heart. It’s the killer. It has to be.

You can’t quite hear them but you can decipher the tone of begging for one's life. The man holding the knife tilts his head slightly, your mouth waters at the prospect of finally seeing the murderer's face—

It’s the mask.

The same mask you found in Joel’s home in the shape of an owl. Your stomach churns violently, bile raising to your throat as you watch on. You rub at your eyes, take deep breaths—anything you can think of that would erase the image before you.

Goosebumps raising across your skin, you shake your head. It can’t be Joel. He was with you the day Tina died and no matter how competent he was not even he could be at two places at once.

A muffled scream echoes within the forest and your eyes snap to the two men, the owl had driven his knife into the flesh and bone. He pulls it out, and the body falls. You recognize who it is; Jacob. You heard his name a couple of days ago from Ellie, he was bothering both her and Dina because they were hanging out.

He’s still alive when the killer stomps his head in, blood splattering across the leys.

You’re frozen in place. Your throat dry and tongue motionless. The killer kicks Jacob one last time for good measure and finally stops. You observe the way his shoulders drop as if a great weight had been lifted off of them, then he looks up into the sky, the golden sun highlighting his mask.

Very slowly, he lifts his hand and takes it off.

Every feeling comes rushing back, too fast and too soon. Your tongue is alive again and so is your body, the world is suddenly vibrant with life and horror. The sun continues to caress the countenance of the unmasked killer’s face, his sunkissed skin the perfect canvas to soak up the light.

Joel.

You take a step back, every thought of precaution dropping from your mind. The forest starts to spin. It spins and spins and spins until the ground slips from beneath your feet. You catch yourself at the very last second.

When you look up you see his gaze staring directly into yours.

“Fuck,” you hiss out, quickly staggering up. The last thing you see before you start running is his extended hand as he tries to reach out for you.

“Wait!”

You don’t. You do the exact opposite of that. You run. You run for your life and those in Jackson at the fair.

You run with memories loud in your mind. How Joel had listened to you, comforted you, fucked you—

Tears sting your eyes. Every part of this feels like a nightmare that you hope to wake up from anytime soon. But as the wind hits your skin, you know that every part of this is very much real. Your chest burns from how fast you’re going, your legs starting to falter underneath you.

Before you can react, an unexpected force slams into you. The impact sends shockwaves through your body as you collide with something—or is it someone?—their presence as jarring as the jolt itself. Your momentum falters, and for a fleeting moment, time seems to slow as you stumble, desperately trying to regain your balance.

Two arms grab at you and without even seeing who it is, you start to push the person away, fighting against it like a wild animal.

“Let go of me! Let go of me!”

“Hey hey hey,” you hear a familiar voice repeat. “It’s me, you’re okay,” you’re shaking all around, only when you feel his hands cradle your cheeks do you open your eyes. He smiles when he sees your eyes flicker in recognition.

“Tommy?” you whisper. He nods and without a thought you jump him, wrapping your arms around his neck and tugging him close. His arms coil around you in response, promising to not let go. “Oh, thank fuck it’s you.”

“What happened? Are you alright?”

“I—I am okay but—Joel—It’s Joel, Tommy he’s been the one behind all those murders. We need to warn everyone, we need to tell Maria!”

You grab his arm and tug him along toward what you assume is the right way out of the forest. He remains still. Turning around, you shoot him a confused glance. 'Tommy, we need to tell people.'

“Can’t let you do that sugar, sorry.”

“Why. . . Why not?” you let go and slowly step back, heart pounding. “Is it because he’s your brother?”

You wish that was his excuse. Some moral obligation towards Joel because he’s his brother, that you can relate to. Your heart still pounds for Joel and in your brain, you’re still desperately seeking an explanation.

But Tommy allows the silence to linger, your fear and worry quickly turning into anger.

“Fine, I’ll tell them. It’s wrong.”

It only takes a blink of an eye; you feel Tommy’s iron grip around your wrist, yanking you back into his chest. He holds you. Oddly tender for someone who had made your arm nearly fall out of its socket. You thrash within his arms, pulling and hitting his chest.

“We’re doing good,” he grunts. “You gotta see that.”

You refuse to listen, your ear narrowing on the sound of your own blood rush instead of his words. By some miracle, you manage to slip your arm out and punch him square in the chin. It was a weak punch but strong enough to startle Tommy.

“Fuckin’ hell, sweetheart, calm the fuck down—” he tucks your arm back against your body and turns you around so your back is flush against his chest. You’re breathing raggedly, chest rising with every deep gulp of air. His lips touch your ear, his tone menacing, “I really wish you would’ve not done that.”

“Why?” you gasp. “You’re gonna kill me too?”

Silence follows, and with every passing moment sweat beads on your forehead, “It was you wasn’t it?” you continue. “You killed Tina. Joel only came along with me to calm my suspicions.”

Before Tommy can confirm your suspicions, you notice movement within the forest and your eyes are immediately drawn to the shadow coming forth.

“Smart girl,” Joel remarks with a half smile as he emerges from between the trees. There’s a splatter of red over his shirt but the knife seems to be tucked away. For now. “But you’re only half right, darlin’. I came along because I like spendin’ time with you.”

“Is that supposed to make me ignore the fact that Jacob’s body isn’t even cold yet?”

Joel curls two fingers under your chin, lifting your gaze while Tommy continues to hold you back. You shudder against him, a soft sound parts the younger Miller’s lips.

“He was a piece of shit,” Joel grunts. “He was botherin’ Ellie, callin’ her names, he deserved what he was gettin’.”

“So what, you guys are just playing hero? Killing everyone who’s causing trouble in town? There’s a system for that.”

“Honey,” he tuts, an involuntary warmth spreading within your abdomen. “The system didn’t work before the outbreak, it ain’t gonna work now either.”

“We protect our own,” Tommy says from behind you, breath fanning your neck. “We take care of it before it escalates. You have to understand that.”

“And why the hell would I understand?” you hiss, looking directly into Joel’s eyes while addressing Tommy.

Joel smiles, his lips curling slowly, “Because you’re one of us. And you like it when we protect.”

Your lips part with an exhale. He’s right, not that you still agree with them killing people, but you had enjoyed that primal protection coming from the Millers. It made you feel powerful, loved, cared for. All the things you craved deeply.

You ignore Joel and his words entirely, averting your eyes with embarrassment and shame.

“I just don’t understand why you did it, Tommy” you murmur. Tommy tenses behind you, his arms tightening around your frame, drawing the remaining oxygen from your lungs. “I understand the other’s to an extent but Tina didn’t do anything wrong.”

Joel looks towards Tommy, it was his kill after all and the older Miller had nothing to say about it.

“She was wrecking what Maria is tryin’ so hard to build,” he answers. “She’s pregnant, stress ain’t good for her or the baby.”

“Does. . . Does Maria—”

Tommy cuts you off, “No.”

Joel leans closer, mouth an inch away from yours as he parts his lips. “I killed for you,” You hate the way your body reacts to him, wanting to close the distance between you two despite how unsettled you feel. “Ian was a piece of shit, so was Tucker and Jacob. They don’t deserve your empathy, honey. And you can’t deny that you’re glad they’re gone.”

His hair is a delightful mess. Soft locks going in every direction. All you want to do is thread your fingers within and forget about all of this. Joel’s gaze is observant, dark eyes darting all over your face. You don’t know what he sees but whatever it is, he nods to Tommy for him to let you go and he does. Legs lifeless and shaking, he catches you, his warmth welcoming. He’s still tender with you. Hands delicate as they move over your arms, shifting you so you'll be facing Tommy.

Joel’s hand curls around your neck and holds your chin so you can’t look away. You can’t read Tommy’s expression. You’re not sure what he’s feeling. However, you think he looks almost relieved that you’re not fighting anymore.

You shudder as Joel drags his lips down your neck, taking deep breaths of your fear-induced scent. His hands slip under your shirt and cup both breaths, making you squeal. Your objection is short-lived when he brushes his thumbs over both nipples, awakening them with slow strokes.

Tommy’s gaze drops to your chest.

“He’s been watching you, you know,” Joel says. “When I had things to settle in town it was him who looked after you,” his voice drops, eyes observing his brother. “I think he deserves a bit of a show, don’t you think?”

The whimper you let out is enough for Tommy to meet your gaze curiously. Joel smiles into your skin and your eyes widen as he pulls out a knife—a different one from the one he used on Jacob, you realize with relief.

Your breath hitches as he slides the knife under your shirt and cuts your shirt clean from the middle, exposing you completely to his younger brother’s eyes. Sudden arousal pools between your legs and you clamp them together suddenly, the movement not unnoticed by either of them.

“You like it when my brother watches?” he asks loud enough for Tommy to hear. “You got a little crush on him too, sweetheart, hmm? Don’t worry, he’s always goin’ to be lookin’ out for you. That’s what family does after all.”

Your neck strains as Joel tilts your head suddenly, claiming your lips in a violent kiss. He doesn’t wait for you to part your lips for him and pushes his tongue into your mouth, licking the surprised sounds of pleasure right from your mouth. Your heart skips a beat. He presses the flat side of the knife against your warmed skin, the chill of metal settling in your bones.

When he parts away, a string of saliva connects you still. “You’re mine aren’t you?” Joel groans, lips moving over yours.

You nod in a daze and he smiles, “And I’m yours too,” he says.

Your eyes meet Tommy momentarily, the younger Miller’s lips twitch in a half smile. He doesn’t say a word as he closes the distance.

Tommy cradles your face tenderly, urging you to come close as he envelopes your lips with his own, taking you by surprise.

The kiss lacks the intensity compared to Joel’s. Tommy caresses your cheeks with both thumbs. You don’t even feel his tongue, it’s just a gradual movement of lips, a type of affirmation and comfort.

“You’re one of us now,” he says pressing his forehead against yours. You don’t know how to react or what to say and you end up just nodding, your hands fisting his shirt. Him, parting away from you almost feels painful but you’re not sure why. Tommy gives you a smile and Joel a nod before he leaves.

You and Joel stand like that for a while, in complete silence, bodies flushed together, knife still resting over your stomach.

“I only did what was right,” he breaks the silence. His tone isn’t one of asking for forgiveness or understanding. His arms tighten around you. “Are you afraid of me?” he whispers into your ear, the thick hairs above his lips tickling the shell of your ear.

You don’t answer him.

“You don’t need to be,” he continues. He allows you to move within his arms, you want to see his face, you need to see him to not fear for your life. You ignore the knife grazing your skin as you turn around, your bare front snug against his chest. “I’ll never hurt you. And you’re the only person in this whole damn town that can say that. You and Ellie.”

“What about Tommy?”

“Tommy’s priorities lay elsewhere.”

He doesn’t allow you to inquire further about what he means by that. All you can detect is a hint of anger that quickly dissipates when he claims your lips once more.

You’re lost in him. His tongue captures you in a way that makes you forget the blood on his clothes—on his hands. His tongue slides against your own, pressing until you’re moaning into his mouth, your knees faltering at the knife smoothing down your skin.

Before pushing you down to the ground, he takes off the shirt he cut in half completely off of you, your bra following the pile on the grass. Your breath hitches as he takes his place between your legs, his mouth devouring your neck, “Joel. . .” you moan, fisting his shirt and grinding up to feel at least a bit of friction.

A silent laugh seeps into your skin, his breath sending shivers up your spine, “Do you still feel bad for them?” he teases, laying a wet kiss between your breasts.

You don’t think much as you answer, “No.”

And as a reward, Joel closes his lips over a nipple, sucking hard until your breathing goes ragged.

“That’s my girl,” he groans, moving towards the other pebbled flesh. “You’re too good, too kind, but they don’t deserve that sweetheart.”

He hooks his fingers into your belt loops and tugs down your jeans, laving you with soft, ticklish kisses as he moves lower and lower. When you’re completely bare to him, you have the urge to cover yourself, the grass tickles your back and the wind feels colder now. Joel smiles and pulls your arms away. He lays the knife right above your stomach and your breath hitches.

“I want to taste you,” Joel says. “But not in the way you think, darlin’,” he kisses the sensitive skin right adobe your belly button, and brings the sharp edge of the knife to your skin. “I want to taste the life that pumps through your veins.”

Your eyes widen as he nicks you. It’s a small cut and blood beads at the wound instantly. He doesn’t allow it to gather enough so that’ll trickle down, he quickly presses his lips against it, your essence coating his tongue as he gives it a tender suck. You can the blood leaving your veins, a pleasant tingle echoing from the wound and spreading throughout your body. Your eyes flutter, a moan escaping your lips as he flattens his tongue against the cut and licks with board strokes.

“Fuckin’ delicious,” he rasps, pushing two fingers into you with ease. You gasp at the sudden stretch, your back arching into his touch. “So darn wet—All this for me, sunshine?”

“Yeah,” you breathe out, grinding down. “Joel, please—”

You hear the sound of his belt buckle coming undone, his breath heavy in your ear, “Since you asked so nicely, sweetheart, I’m obliged.”

You feel the head of his cock brush against your entrance, sending a jolt of electricity through your body. Your eyes close in anticipation and you whimper as he slowly slides inside you inch by inch. You can feel it, that intense fullness that can only come from him, taking his time to make sure it feels good. His size is intimidating but you feel yourself melting around him, eager and willing.

“That’s it. . . you’re takin’ me so well, such a tight little hole for me. Fuckin’ amazin’.”

He presses his forehead against yours, nipping at your bottom lip before thrusting, sending a wave of pleasure that makes your toes curl. You cling onto him for support as he pumps deeper and faster, hitting all the right spots. It takes neither of you long to climb the edge, ready to fall. You can feel the warmth of his breath, and his grip tightens on your hips. His pace quickens as the intensity builds, and you clench around him as he groans your name.

“Gonna come inside,” he slurs his words. “Gonna fill you up—shit—”

You can feel him throbbing and pulsing inside of you, his hard length contracting. As he pushes deeper into you, your insides flutter, squeezing around him. Your orgasm is ripped from you, shattering and mind-numbing. Your head spins and you cling to him, afraid that the world underneath you might slip entirely. His hot come warms you from the inside out, spilling from where his cock stretches you.

Joel remains inside until he starts to soften. He pulls out of you, leaving you feeling a longing ache deep within your core. You shudder as his come trickles down your thighs, your cunt clenching around nothing.

“Such a pretty sight,” he murmurs, entranced, as he gathers himself over his fingers and pushes it back inside you. “Try to keep as much as you can inside.” To emphasize his want for it, he slides your underwear up your legs.

You’re tied to him now. And even though you shouldn’t, you enjoy being the one near the beast. Joel helps you dress, at least helps you with what remains, and gives you his leather jacket to wear since your shirt is in ruins. Neither of you says a word as you walk back to where Jacob’s body rests. You help him bury the body, not feeling a single thing; no grief, no remorse, no sadness.

You always did have a complicated relationship with death after all.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller smut #tlou fanfic #the last of us fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal character fanfic #hauntedhoedown

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callsigns-haze · 5 months ago

Text

A pilot? Again?

Pairing: Jake Seresin X detective, single mom reader

After investigating a crash at Top Gun for four hours, Detective Y/N, who lost her husband Daniel four years ago, finds no evidence of foul play and deems the case closed. During her time there, she reconnects with Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw, Daniel's younger brother, and meets his charming wingman, Jake "Hangman" Seresin. Hangman flirts with Y/N as he walks her to her car, and for the first time in years, she feels comfortable with the attention. Before leaving, Y/N gives him her card with her number, leaving the door open for future contact. Hangman promises to text, sparking the potential for a new chapter in her life.

This chapter contains references to past personal loss and emotional themes. It features characters dealing with grief and the aftermath of a tragic event.

Two Weeks of Silence

It had been two weeks since the funeral, but the house was still suffocating. The silence was unbearable, the only sounds coming from the occasional babble of 14-month-old Keith or the quiet shuffle of Logan, who had been eerily quiet since his father’s death. It was as if the life had been drained from the walls along with Daniel "Griffin" Bradshaw, Bradley’s older brother by two years.

Y/N stood in the kitchen, gripping the counter with trembling hands, her back turned to the door. The numbness hadn’t left. It clung to her like a second skin, tightening with every passing day. She had held it together at the funeral—everyone had said she was so strong. Strong for the kids. But now, without the distraction of people offering meaningless words, she felt nothing but an empty ache.

Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw had been coming over almost every day since the funeral. Not that she’d asked him to. He just showed up, like he was trying to step into Daniel’s shoes. But he wasn’t Daniel. He never would be.

She heard the familiar creak of the door behind her. She didn’t bother turning around. She already knew who it was.

“Y/N,” Bradley said, his voice quiet but rough, the usual edge missing.

“What is it, Bradley?” she asked, her tone sharper than she intended.

“I came to check on you,” he said, stepping into the kitchen with a heavy sigh.

Y/N gritted her teeth and turned to face him, her arms crossed. She looked exhausted—dark circles under her eyes, her face pale and drawn. “You don’t have to keep coming here, you know. I’m not your responsibility.”

Bradley’s jaw tightened. He didn’t like the way she was pushing him away, but he wasn’t about to argue with her. Not now. Not after everything. “I know. But I’m here anyway.”

She let out a bitter laugh, shaking her head. “Right. You’re always here.”

Bradley stared at her, his eyes flicking to the half-empty bottle of whiskey sitting on the counter. “Have you slept at all?”

“Why does it matter?” she snapped. “Sleep doesn’t change anything. Daniel’s still dead. I’m still stuck here raising these boys on my own. You think a nap’s going to fix that?”

Bradley didn’t flinch. He just nodded, the muscles in his jaw working as he tried to keep his emotions in check. “No. It won’t.”

Y/N turned away from him again, her eyes stinging with unshed tears. Keith’s babbling came from the living room, a small reminder that her youngest son needed her, even though she felt like she had nothing left to give. Logan, too, had been withdrawn, watching everything in silent confusion. He was too young to understand why his father wasn’t coming home, but old enough to sense the weight of what had happened.

“What am I supposed to tell them, Bradley?” she asked, her voice breaking slightly. “What do I say to Logan when he asks about his dad? That he died on some mission that went sideways? That he’s never coming back? When I do he asks why. How am I meant to know!?”

Bradley exhaled sharply, running a hand over his face. “I don’t know, Y/N. I wish I had the answers. But Logan’s going to need you to be honest with him. You can’t shield him from it forever.”

She let out a shaky breath, blinking rapidly to fight back the tears. “He’s only seven, Bradley. He shouldn’t have to grow up like this.”

Bradley stepped closer, his voice softening. “You’re right. He shouldn’t. But he’s tough—just like his dad. And you’re tougher than you think.”

Y/N shook her head, her voice barely above a whisper. “It'll ruin the kid. I’m just so damn tired.”

Bradley stood there, not sure what to say. He wasn’t good at this—the comforting, the emotional stuff. That had always been Daniel’s role. But Daniel wasn’t here anymore, and Bradley was all Y/N had left. He stepped forward, cautiously, until he was right next to her.

“You don’t have to do it alone,” he said quietly. “I’m here for you. For Logan. For Keith.”

Y/N didn’t respond at first, just kept staring at the floor, the weight of everything crushing down on her. After a long pause, she finally spoke, her voice tight with suppressed emotion.

“You’re not Daniel, Bradley. You were barely ever here before that either.”

The words cut deep, but Bradley nodded, accepting them for what they were. He wasn’t Daniel. He couldn’t replace his brother, no matter how hard he tried. But he could be there for the family Daniel had left behind.

“I know,” Bradley said quietly. “But I’m still here.”

Y/N finally looked up at him, her eyes red and tired. There was no fight left in her, no anger, just a raw, aching grief that mirrored his own.

“Logan asked me yesterday if his dad was a hero,” she said, her voice barely audible.

Bradley’s throat tightened. “What did you say?”

She swallowed hard, her gaze dropping to the floor. “I didn’t know what to say. Fourteen times in my life I accused pilots of doing something wrong but never Daniel. I just told him… I told him his dad loved him. That was all I could get out.”

Bradley nodded slowly, his chest aching with a familiar sense of loss. “It’s enough. Logan doesn’t need the details. He just needs to know that his dad loved him. That’s what matters.”

Y/N’s eyes met his again, and for the first time since Daniel’s death, there was something other than anger or numbness there. Maybe it was acceptance. Maybe it was just exhaustion. But she didn’t push him away this time.

“I don’t know how to do this,” she admitted quietly.

“You don’t have to figure it all out today,” Bradley replied. “Just take it one day at a time. I’ll be here. For whatever you need.”

Y/N nodded, her shoulders slumping as the weight of it all threatened to overwhelm her again. But this time, Bradley was there, standing beside her, ready to catch her if she fell.

And maybe, just maybe, that was enough for now.

-----

Four years had passed since Daniel’s death, and life had moved on, even if it still carried the scars of that day. Y/N had thrown herself into her work, rising through the ranks until she became a detective, often working with specialized units like CSI. Her job demanded precision, focus, and a cool head under pressure—traits she’d developed while learning to balance being a widow and a mother to two boys.

It was 6:00 AM, and the alarm blared from her phone. Y/N groaned, stretching in her bed before she turned it off and rubbed her eyes. Another day, another case to solve. She threw the covers off and padded to the bathroom.

Standing in front of the mirror, she stared at herself. She turned on the faucet and grabbed her toothbrush, squeezing a small amount of minty toothpaste onto the bristles. The rhythmic motion of brushing her teeth was oddly soothing, a routine that anchored her at the start of each day. She brushed methodically, starting from the back molars, working her way to the front, the fresh taste of mint chasing away the dregs of sleep. After rinsing, she ran her tongue over her teeth, appreciating the smooth, clean feeling.

Next, she grabbed her brush and began working through her hair. Her hair had grown longer than she usually kept it, but she liked the way it looked now—professional but still a little wild. She worked through a few tangles, brushing from the roots to the ends until her hair was soft and smooth. She tied it back into a sleek ponytail, the style that was both functional and neat for her long days on the job.

Returning to the bedroom, Y/N opened her closet. She ran her fingers over the hangers, choosing a black tailored blazer and matching pants. A crisp white blouse underneath kept the look sharp but professional. Sliding the pants on first, she tucked in her blouse and fastened the blazer, making sure everything sat perfectly. She moved over to the full-length mirror by the closet door, adjusting her collar and sleeves. Her badge was clipped to the belt, a constant reminder of the responsibility she carried.

Finally, she walked over to the small safe tucked discreetly in her nightstand drawer. She spun the dial, opening the metal door with a quiet click. Inside sat her standard-issue Glock. The cold metal felt familiar in her hand as she checked it over, ensuring it was loaded and ready. She slipped the gun into its holster at her side, concealed beneath her blazer. One last glance in the mirror—she looked like a detective ready to take on whatever the day threw at her.

But before she could leave the house, there was one more challenge: waking up her boys.

Y/N headed down the hall to Logan’s room. At eleven, Logan was already turning into a miniature version of his father. He had Daniel’s stubbornness, for sure, and waking him up in the morning had become something of a battle over the years.

She knocked gently on the door. “Logan, it’s time to get up.”

There was no response. She sighed, opening the door and stepping into the room. Logan was buried under his blankets, only the top of his messy brown hair visible. His room was a mess, toys and clothes scattered across the floor, his desk cluttered with books and school papers.

“Logan,” Y/N said again, this time with more authority. “Get up. You’ve got school.”

A muffled groan came from beneath the blankets. “Five more minutes,” he mumbled.

Y/N smirked, walking over to the bed and gently pulling the covers down. Logan blinked up at her, his face creased from the pillow, eyes squinting in the early morning light.

“You said that yesterday,” she said, tapping his shoulder. “Come on. You don’t want to miss the bus.”

Logan groaned again, rolling over onto his back. “I’m not a morning person, Mom. You know that.”

“I do know that,” Y/N replied, crossing her arms. “But it doesn’t change the fact that you have to get up. Now.”

With a dramatic sigh, Logan finally sat up, rubbing his eyes. He stretched, his arms reaching above his head, and yawned loudly. “Fine, fine. I’m up.”

“Good,” Y/N said, walking back to the door. “Get dressed. Breakfast is in ten minutes.”

Logan gave a half-hearted nod, already shuffling towards his closet as Y/N left the room, leaving him to his slow morning routine.

Next was Keith. At five years old, he was still small and full of energy, but mornings weren’t his strong suit either. Y/N stepped into his room, where Keith was curled up in his bed, clutching his favourite stuffed animal—a well-worn bear named Buddy.

“Keith, time to wake up,” she said softly, kneeling beside his bed.

Keith stirred, his big brown eyes fluttering open as he looked up at her. He yawned, stretching his tiny arms out as he rubbed at his eyes. “Morning, Mama.”

“Good morning, sweetheart,” Y/N said with a smile. “Let’s get you ready for school, okay?”

Keith nodded sleepily, still half-asleep as Y/N helped him sit up. She pulled out a pair of pants and a T-shirt from his dresser, guiding him through getting dressed. His little fingers fumbled with the shirt buttons, so she crouched down and helped him fasten them.

Once he was dressed, she scooped him up and carried him to the bathroom, setting him down gently on the step stool by the sink. Keith blinked blearily as Y/N handed him his toothbrush, squeezing a bit of kid-friendly toothpaste onto the bristles.

“Here you go, buddy. Let’s brush those teeth.”

Keith obediently brushed, though his movements were slow and clumsy. Y/N kept a watchful eye, making sure he didn’t miss any spots. Once they were done, she wiped his mouth with a washcloth and gave him a quick kiss on the forehead.

“All set, champ. You’re ready for the day.”

Keith smiled, still a little groggy but looking more awake now. He reached for her hand as they left the bathroom, heading downstairs to join Logan for breakfast.

Y/N leaned against the kitchen counter, sipping her coffee and watching as her boys sat at the table. It was a non-uniform day at their school, which always meant a little more chaos in the morning, especially with Keith's boundless energy. The five-year-old was practically vibrating in his seat, bouncing up and down as he eagerly shovelled toast into his mouth.

"Keith, slow down," Logan said in a calm but firm voice, his tone carrying the weight of someone much older. At eleven, Logan had always been the quieter, more serious one—a reflection of his father in so many ways. While his younger brother practically buzzed with energy, Logan was a calm presence, though he often seemed like he was carrying the weight of the world on his small shoulders. she told Bradley everything would ruin him.

Keith barely paid attention, his legs swinging wildly under the table. “But it’s a non-uniform day! We don’t have to wear the stupid ties and stuff! And we’re bringing money to school! Can we buy sweets, Mama?”

Y/N smiled at the contrast between her two boys. Keith was practically bursting with excitement, his eyes wide and full of life. Meanwhile, Logan sat quietly in front of his cereal, poking at the milk with his spoon, his face expressionless.

“I gave Logan a tenner,” Y/N said, looking at her older son. “He’ll pay for both of you.”

Logan sighed and pushed his hair back, not too thrilled about his role as the responsible older brother but accepting it with his usual calm. “I’ll take care of it,” he said in his usual, even tone. “But Keith, you’ve gotta calm down. You’re gonna knock something over.”

Keith, of course, ignored the warning. “Can we buy, like, five packs of candy, Logan? And maybe some chocolate too!”

Logan raised an eyebrow. “No. That’s not what it’s for. We’re paying for the non-uniform day, not having a candy shopping spree.”

Keith pouted dramatically, crossing his arms over his chest, but he didn’t argue back. He knew better. “Fine,” he muttered, but within seconds, he was back to fidgeting in his seat, still brimming with excitement.

Y/N shook her head in amusement. “Logan’s right. The money is for school, not to load up on sweets. But maybe I’ll get you something after school if you both behave, okay?”

Keith perked up immediately. “Okay, Mama!”

Logan merely nodded, his expression unchanging. He took a slow bite of his cereal, clearly not as enthusiastic about the day as his younger brother. Y/N knew it wasn’t just about today—Logan had always been more introspective, more serious. He carried a quiet sadness sometimes, though he didn’t like to talk about it much. She knew he missed his father, even if he didn’t say it aloud. The weight of responsibility that had fallen on his young shoulders wasn’t something a boy his age should have to deal with.

Y/N glanced at the clock on the wall, mentally going through her schedule for the day. “I’ve got to work until four today,” she said, placing her mug down on the counter. “So Penny’s going to pick you both up from school, and you’ll hang out with Amelia until I’m off. That okay with you guys?”

Keith immediately bounced in his seat again. “Yay! I love hanging out with Amelia! She’s gonna let me play her video games, right? She said she would last time!”

Logan just nodded, taking another slow bite of his cereal. “That’s fine,” he said, his tone still calm and measured. “We’ll be okay.”

Y/N walked over and ruffled Logan’s hair, earning a slight frown from him as he smoothed it back down. “I know you will. You’re always a big help with Keith.”

Keith grinned at his brother, clearly not picking up on the subtle tension in Logan’s face. “Logan’s the best!” he shouted, practically bouncing out of his chair now. “He’s gonna let me sit with him at lunch too!”

Logan sighed softly, glancing at his younger brother. “Yeah, sure. Just… calm down, okay?”

Y/N chuckled, finishing the last of her coffee before setting the cup down. She leaned against the counter, watching her boys—so different from each other, but in some ways, inseparable. Keith was a bright light, always full of energy and joy, while Logan had become her steady, serious boy, even though she wished he’d let himself be a kid more often.

“Alright, you two. Finish up your breakfast and get your shoes on. We need to leave in ten minutes,” Y/N said, gently nudging them along.

Keith practically jumped out of his chair, already halfway to the hallway to grab his sneakers, while Logan moved with his usual calm, taking his time to finish his cereal before he stood up.

Y/N glanced at Logan, her heart aching just a little as she watched him. “Logan,” she said softly, causing him to pause and look up at her. “You don’t always have to be the grown-up, you know. It’s okay to just… be a kid.”

Logan shrugged, his eyes dropping to the floor. “I know,” he said, but there was a distance in his voice, like he wasn’t quite convinced.

Y/N sighed softly, resisting the urge to push further. Logan was like that—quiet, introspective. He’d open up when he was ready, and she’d be there when he did.

“Alright, let’s go,” she said with a smile, trying to lighten the mood. “Non-uniform day and no rushing. It’s a good start to the day, don’t you think?”

Logan gave a small, barely noticeable nod, and together they all headed out the door, Keith still chattering excitedly about his plans for the day while Logan walked quietly beside him, always the calm to his little brother’s storm.

---

Y/N had barely finished her second cup of coffee when her phone buzzed with a new case. She was standing in the precinct’s break room, chatting with her rookie partner, Officer Miles Daniels, when her phone went off. Glancing at the screen, her stomach sank as she read the details. A crash at Top Gun—the United States Navy Fighter Weapons School.

“Miles, grab your gear,” Y/N called over her shoulder as she quickly gathered her things. “We’ve got a case. We’re heading to Top Gun.”

Miles raised an eyebrow, still fresh-faced and eager after joining the detective unit, but he moved quickly, following her lead. “Top Gun? Isn’t that, like, military?”

“Yeah, it is,” Y/N responded, slipping her badge and gun into place as they made their way out of the precinct. “But if there’s civilian criminal activity involved, or something suspicious, we get pulled in. Plus, this isn’t just a crash—it’s a potential aircraft destruction case.”

As they made the short drive to the base, Y/N filled Miles in on what they were walking into. The pilot was in stable condition, but there was suspicion that the crash wasn’t just an accident. With a $15 million aircraft destroyed, the stakes were high.

When they arrived at the Naval base, the military security waved them through after checking their credentials. Y/N parked the car outside the main lobby of the base, and the two of them stepped out into the bright morning sun. The sprawling complex of hangars, runways, and state-of-the-art fighter jets stretched out in front of them.

Inside the lobby, they were met by Sergeant Tim Bradford, a stoic and no-nonsense detective who had recently transferred from LAPD to work more closely with specialized cases involving military personnel. Y/N had worked with him on a couple of cases before. He was tough, by the book, and not someone to mess with.

“Bradford,” Y/N greeted him with a nod as she and Miles approached.

“Detective Y/L/N,” Bradford replied, giving her a quick, respectful nod. His sharp blue eyes shifted briefly to Miles, sizing him up. “This your rookie?”

“Yeah, Officer Daniels,” Y/N introduced her partner. Miles nodded politely, though he seemed slightly nervous under Bradford’s scrutinizing gaze.

“Alright,” Bradford said, moving straight to business. “Here’s what we know: A pilot, callsign ‘Raptor,’ nosedived his F/A-18 Super Hornet straight into the runway early this morning. He’s in stable condition at the hospital, but that jet? It’s totalled—$15 million down the drain. The Navy’s doing their own investigation, but we’ve been brought in to determine if this was an intentional act or negligence.”

Y/N’s brow furrowed as she listened. “Any indication so far that it was deliberate?”

Bradford shook his head. “Not yet. The pilot claims he lost control, but there’s speculation he might have been pushed into it—pressure from his CO, maybe. And if we find anything that points to foul play, the Navy’s going to press charges for destruction of government property. That’s where we come in.”

Y/N nodded, exchanging a glance with Miles, who was taking everything in, trying to piece it all together. “Alright,” she said. “Let’s get to the crash site.”

As they made their way across the base toward the crash site, Y/N kept her eyes sharp. The walk was long, but it gave her a chance to mentally prepare. Aircraft crashes weren’t her usual territory, but the stakes were high, and she was used to pressure.

“I read up on the case file on the way here,” Miles said as they walked. “The pilot’s got a clean record—nothing disciplinary, no indication he’d do something like this on purpose.”

“Keep that in mind, but don’t jump to conclusions,” Y/N replied, her tone firm but patient. “We’re here to look at the evidence, not get caught up in speculation.”

As they neared the crash site, the wreckage of the once sleek fighter jet came into view. The front of the aircraft was crumpled, its nose smashed into the runway with debris scattered all around. Military personnel were already on the scene, cordoning off the area, but the sheer destruction was undeniable.

Y/N knelt down near the wreckage, scanning the area. The nose of the plane was completely destroyed, and the force of the impact had created deep cracks in the runway. It was clear that this hadn’t been a controlled landing.

“Jesus,” Miles muttered under his breath, his eyes wide as he looked over the wreckage.

“Yeah,” Y/N agreed grimly, standing up. “This wasn’t a small mistake.”

She turned to Bradford. “Have they ruled out mechanical failure?”

“They’re working on it,” Bradford said, crossing his arms as he surveyed the scene. “But so far, nothing obvious. It’s more likely a pilot error, but the pilot swears he was fully in control before the nosedive.”

Y/N nodded thoughtfully, walking around the wreckage. Her mind worked quickly, analysing the scene, looking for anything that didn’t quite fit. “We’ll need to talk to the ground crew who prepped the plane and the other pilots who were flying with him,” she said, glancing at Miles. “Something doesn’t add up here.”

Bradford nodded. “Already got the names. Ground crew’s being interviewed, and the flight team’s in the ready room waiting for you.”

Y/N exchanged a look with Miles. “Let’s get to it. The faster we figure out what happened here, the better.”

As Y/N and Miles made their way toward the hangar, they passed a group of aviators, all wearing their flight suits and looking equally serious and exhausted. Among them, a familiar face caught Y/N’s eye. The short moustache, the tousled sandy hair, and that unmistakable stance—it was Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw.

Y/N’s breath caught in her throat for a moment. She hadn’t seen Bradley in years, not since Daniel’s funeral. He looked older now, more worn by the weight of life, but still very much the kid brother of her late husband. Her heart squeezed at the sight of him, a wave of memories flooding back.

“Bradley?” she called out, her voice hesitant but filled with recognition.

Bradley turned at the sound of his name, his eyes widening as he saw her. “Y/N?” he said, a mix of surprise and relief crossing his face. “I can’t believe it. What are you doing here?”

They approached each other, and Y/N gave him a warm smile. “Detective now,” she explained, gesturing to her badge. “Working a case on base.”

Rooster gave a small smile, his eyes softening with a mix of nostalgia and respect. “It’s been a while.”

“Too long,” Y/N replied, though the weight of that statement hung between them. The unspoken grief over Daniel was still there, lingering in the air. But this wasn’t the time or place for a deep conversation about the past.

Bradley shook his head, a half-smirk playing on his lips. “I should’ve known you’d end up kicking ass as a detective.”

Y/N chuckled softly. “I try. And you—you’re an instructor now, huh? Flying with the best of the best?”

Bradley nodded. “Yeah, something like that. Let me introduce you to my wingman.” He turned, motioning toward a tall, confident-looking man standing a few feet away. “This is Lieutenant Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin.”

Jake stepped forward, offering a charming grin that seemed to light up his entire face. “Pleasure to meet you, Detective Y/L/N. Heard a lot about you,” he said smoothly, extending his hand.

Y/N raised an eyebrow, taking his hand and giving it a firm shake. Jake’s grip was strong, but not overbearing. There was something about his demeanour—equal parts charm and arrogance—that made her feel like she needed to stay on her toes around him. He had that aura, the kind of guy who was used to turning heads and getting what he wanted.

“I hope it was all good things,” Y/N replied, her tone lightly teasing.

“All good,” Jake said with a wink, his southern drawl coming through in a way that made his words linger just a little too long. “Rooster’s mentioned how tough you are. Seems like you two go way back.”

“We do,” Y/N confirmed, glancing at Rooster with a fond smile. “Family.”

There was a pause as the moment settled between them, and then Jake spoke up again. “So, what brings you to our little corner of the sky? I assume it’s not just a social visit.”

Y/N shifted back into professional mode, nodding. “We’re investigating the crash. The pilot—‘Raptor,’ I believe—is in stable condition, but there’s a possibility this wasn’t just pilot error. We need to determine if this was deliberate or negligence. My job is to figure out what went wrong and, if necessary, who’s responsible.”

Rooster exchanged a look with Jake, both of them clearly intrigued but also guarded. “We’re the instructors for this group,” Bradley said. “But we don’t know much beyond that. Raptor’s a good pilot—this isn’t something you’d expect from him.”

Jake nodded in agreement. “Yeah, kid’s sharp. Cocky, sure, but we’ve all been there. He’s not the kind to pull a stunt like this unless something went wrong.”

Y/N folded her arms, considering their words. “So no inside information? Nothing unusual in his behaviour or flight patterns before the crash?”

Both men shook their heads. “No,” Rooster replied. “Everything seemed normal during the briefing and take-off. Whatever happened, it must’ve been in the air.”

“Or in his head,” Jake added, his expression thoughtful. “Sometimes it’s hard to tell what’s going on up there, even with the best pilots.”

Y/N nodded, appreciating their input. “Alright, well, here’s what we’ve got so far,” she said, launching into a detailed explanation.

“The crash happened early this morning. Raptor nosedived into the runway, and while he’s alive, the aircraft is totalled. The Navy’s investigating the mechanical side, but they want us to assess whether there was any human interference—either pressure from above, negligence, or if this was intentional. The stakes are high. A $15 million jet destroyed can’t just be written off as an accident without a full inquiry. We’re looking into everything: the ground crew, flight logs, maintenance records, and Raptor’s personal state of mind.”

Bradley listened intently, his arms crossed over his chest, while Jake’s eyes narrowed, taking it all in. “That’s serious,” Rooster finally said, his voice low. “If there’s any suspicion of intentional sabotage or negligence, he’s looking at major charges.”

“Exactly,” Y/N agreed. “We’re trying to avoid that if it’s not warranted, but we need to be thorough.”

Jake leaned against the side of a nearby truck, his expression a mix of intrigue and something close to admiration. “Well, Detective, you’ve got your work cut out for you. Anything we can do to help?”

Y/N smiled at him, though her mind was already racing with the possibilities. “Just stay close in case we need anything. I might need to talk to the other pilots too.”

Rooster nodded. “We’ll be around. And hey, it’s good to see you again, Y/N.”

“You too, Bradley,” she replied softly before glancing back at Jake, who gave her one last charming grin as they walked away.

“Don’t be a stranger, Detective,” Jake called after her with a wink.

---

The four-hour mark at the crash site. The long day was wearing on both of them, but Y/N was no stranger to gruelling hours. She had spent countless days on crime scenes, sifting through endless evidence, and poring over tiny details that could make or break a case. Yet, this one seemed different—something about it felt dead in the water.

They had examined the wreckage from every angle, spoken to the ground crew, double-checked the maintenance logs, and even consulted with the flight team. But nothing substantial had emerged to indicate foul play. It seemed more and more like a tragic case of pilot error, despite the nagging feeling in Y/N’s gut that something wasn’t right.

She straightened up from where she had been crouching near the debris, wiping her hands on her jeans and squinting in the fading light. Miles walked over, notebook in hand, looking exhausted but still eager.

“What do you think, Detective?” Miles asked, his voice quieter than usual, likely from the hours of tension.

Y/N sighed, her eyes scanning the crumpled remains of the jet one last time. “I think this is a dead case for us,” she admitted reluctantly. “There’s no solid evidence of foul play, no suspicious activity leading up to the crash. It’s looking more like a tragic mistake than anything else.”

Miles nodded slowly, clearly taking her lead, though he looked a little deflated. “So, we’re calling it?”

“We’ll let the Navy finish their mechanical investigation, but as far as our end goes, yeah, I’m calling it,” Y/N said, her tone final but not unkind. “You did good today, Miles. I know it’s not the ending we were hoping for, but sometimes cases just don’t pan out the way you think they will.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, scratching the back of his neck. “I get it. But it’s frustrating.”

“It is,” she said, giving him a small smile. “But that’s part of the job. Let’s head back. I’ll debrief with Rooster and Hangman, and we’ll wrap this up.”

Together, they made their way back toward where Rooster and Hangman had been waiting by the hangar. Y/N could see them leaning against the side of a truck, deep in conversation. When they saw her and Miles approaching, Rooster straightened up, his expression expectant.

“How’s it looking?” Rooster asked, his tone hopeful but cautious.

Y/N shook her head. “Not much to go on. I’m calling it a dead case for us. The Navy can finish their investigation, but we haven’t found anything that suggests sabotage or intentional destruction.”

Rooster sighed softly, nodding in understanding. “Alright, thanks for looking into it anyway. I know Raptor’s not going to be thrilled, but it’s better than a criminal charge hanging over his head.”

At that moment, Miles stepped forward, looking a little nervous but determined. “Actually, Lieutenant Bradshaw, I still have a few more questions for you—just to tie up some loose ends.”

Rooster raised an eyebrow but gave a nod, turning his attention fully to Miles. “Sure thing, Officer. What do you need?”

As Rooster and Miles moved off to the side, Y/N turned to see Jake “Hangman” Seresin watching her with that signature grin plastered across his face. His charm seemed almost effortless, like it was second nature to him.

“Well, Detective,” Hangman said, pushing off from the truck and sauntering over to her with a slight swagger. “Since Rooster’s busy, how about I walk you to your car? It’s the least I can do after you’ve been out here all day in the sun.”

Y/N chuckled, feeling the tension in her shoulders begin to ease for the first time in hours. There was something disarming about Hangman’s confidence. Normally, she would’ve felt guarded, maybe even slightly intimidated by a guy like him. But right now? For the first time in a long time, she didn’t feel that way.

“Sure,” she said with a smirk. “I wouldn’t mind the company.”

They began walking across the tarmac together, the gentle evening breeze cooling the hot air from the long day. Hangman kept pace beside her, his hands tucked casually into his flight suit pockets, his easy smile never faltering.

“So,” he began, his tone light, “you’re telling me that after spending four hours out here investigating a crash and coming up empty, you still manage to look this good? I’ve got to say, I’m impressed.”

Y/N rolled her eyes playfully, though she couldn’t help but smile. “Is that your best line, Lieutenant? You’re going to have to try harder than that.”

“Maybe,” Hangman drawled, his Texas accent coming through thick. “But I figure, why mess with what works?”

Y/N shook her head, but she was still smiling. “Is this how you charm all the women you meet?”

He gave her a faux-hurt expression. “Not all the women, Detective. Just the ones who look like they could outsmart me and outshoot me in the same day.”

Y/N laughed, a real laugh, and she realized how rare that had become. Jake was flirty, sure, but in a way that wasn’t overbearing or disrespectful. He wasn’t pushing boundaries—just toeing the line, making her feel lighter after such a long, draining day.

As they reached her car, she stopped, turning to face him. Hangman looked down at her with a playful spark in his eyes, clearly not ready to let the moment end.

“Well, thanks for the escort, Lieutenant Seresin,” Y/N said, her voice softer now. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her work card, handing it to him. “Here. This has my number on it—in case you ever feel like texting. I’m… open to it.”

For a moment, Jake looked surprised, but that charming smile returned quickly as he took the card from her hand. His fingers brushed hers lightly, sending a small spark up her arm. “Now, that’s an offer I won’t pass up,” he said smoothly, tucking the card into his pocket. “You can expect a text soon, Detective. Count on it.”

Y/N felt a strange flutter in her chest as she smiled at him one last time, sliding into her car. As she closed the door and started the engine, Jake stepped back, giving her a two-finger salute before watching her drive away.

For the first time in years, the idea of someone flirting with her didn’t make her feel guarded or anxious. Instead, it felt… nice. Maybe it was Hangman’s easy-going confidence, or maybe it was just time for her to feel something other than the weight of responsibility. Either way, she wasn’t opposed to seeing where things might lead.

As she drove away from the base, Y/N glanced at her phone in the cup holder. And for the first time in a long while, she found herself hoping that a certain charming fighter pilot would follow through on his promise.

#jake seresin #jake hangman seresin #hangman imagine #hangman x reader #jake seresin x reader #hangman seresin #hangman top gun #jake hangman fic #jake hangman imagine #jake hangman x reader

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ladykailitha · 1 year ago

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Grief (A Friend Indeed) Part 1

Hello! Sorry it's been nothing but one-shots lately, but as I said in this post here I haven't abandoned anything, my life has just got a little crazy lately.

This was conceived because my sister's former mother-in-law passed away due to massive heart failure a week ago and I chose to write this story as a way with dealing it. I didn't know her well, but I did know her and that's enough I think to feel some grief at her passing. She was a year younger than my dad.

Summary: Eddie and Wayne have to go back to Kentucky when Eddie's grandmother (and Wayne and Al's mother) passes. Steve comes along when Eddie suggests that he would feel better if he came. Along the way they learn about each other's pasts and find out that they are each other's future.

***

Eddie walked into the Family Video and had to stop and gaze fondly at the sight before him. Steve was draped over the counter reading a magazine and steadfastly ignoring the bell above the door that announced his arrival.

He got up to the desk and greeted affectionately, “Hey, Stevie.”

Steve bolted straight up and ran his fingers through his hair. “Oh hi, Eds. I didn’t realize that it was you.”

Eddie smiled for the first time in days.

Steve grinned back. “You know, a boy could start to think you were avoiding him. You know, since I haven’t seen you around in days.”

Eddie winced, shoving his hands into his jean pockets. “Sorry, man. I had family stuff.”

Steve’s teasing grin slid off his face. “Shit. I’m sorry. That was a dick move.”

Eddie waved his hands. “No, no. There was no way for you to know. In fact, that’s why I’m here. To make sure you don’t think that I’m avoiding you. Because I wouldn’t. You see Wayne and I have to go back to Ashland for a funeral.”

Steve’s already contrite expression softened further. “Oh, Eds. That’s awful. Are you okay? Do you need anything?”

Eddie’s eyes welled up and before the first tear could fall, Steve was over that counter and wrapping him up in his arms.

“I’ve got you, Eds,” Steve murmured. “I’m here now.”

Eddie sobbed and sobbed as Steve just gently rubbed his back until he calmed down enough to talk.

“It’s Uncle Wayne’s mom, my grandma,” he explained, clutching Steve’s shirt like a life line. “She was just the sweetest old lady and now she’s gone. I’m going to miss her.”

“Oh, Eds,” Steve murmured. “I’m sorry. That must just be awful for you. If there is anything I can do, just let me know.”

Eddie chuckled into Steve’s work vest. “Too bad you can’t come with. I think I’d feel braver about seeing all Dad’s family again if you were there.”

Steve grabbed his biceps and pushed him back gently. “Done.”

Eddie stuttered and sputtered. “Stevie, no...”

Steve picked up the phone on the counter and dialed a number. “Stevie yes.”

And Eddie watched in awe horror as Steve’s eyes suddenly welled up with tears and he rubbed his nose.

“Keith?” Steve said, his voice rough as if he had been doing the crying. “Yeah, I just got a call from my mom. My grandmother has died and I have to go to Kentucky for the funeral.”

Eddie’s jaw dropped. He didn’t even know that Steve knew where Ashland was.

“Yeah, my mom is from Lexington,” Steve said with a wink at him. “A real southern belle. I’ve seen pictures of her debutante ball and everything.”

Eddie snorted, because of course she was.

“I would need at least a week,” Steve was saying. “With the reading of the will and all.”

Eddie scoffed. If there was a will, he very much doubted there would be anything as formal as a reading of the damn thing.

“Oh thank you so much,” Steve sniffled. “I’ll even call Robin and let her know about her needing to pick up a few shifts.”

And like that Steve had gotten the week off.

“And the award for best crocodile tears to get out of working goes to Steve Harrington!” Eddie said, waving his hands back and forth. “Holy shit, man, how did you do that?”

Steve snorted. “As any good actor will tell you in order to cry on command, you just need to think about something that makes you cry.”

Eddie frowned. “What did you think of?”

Steve just shrugged. “What time are you guys leaving?”

“Tomorrow, early,” he said. “But serious, dude, even after that stellar performance, you don’t really have to come. Take the week off. Enjoy life for a change.”

Steve shook his head. “I would just be at home worried about you. Don’t make me stay. Please. Not when you said you would feel better with me there.”

Eddie’s shoulders slumped as he gave in. “Of course I want you there, but I would be selfish to take you away from your family for so long. Robin, Dustin...the rest of the them all need you too.”

Steve sighed heavily. “You’re part of that family, Eds. And I’m not dumb enough to think that they aren’t going to make a run for it the second they’re able to. As they should. I have to live my own life and not be afraid to go places.”

Eddie threw his arms in the air. “I hate when you make sense.”

Steve grinned. “Now the only remaining question is which vehicle we’re taking, Wayne’s truck, your van, or my car?”

Eddie laughed. “God, Stevie. I am so glad you’re coming with me. I needed that. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

Steve’s grin turned soft and fond. “Let’s hope you never have to find you.”

“Damn straight.”

“I can’t believe you’re leaving me,” Robin groused when Steve called her after Eddie left.

“What was I supposed to do when he asked?” Steve questioned, twirling the phone cord around his fingers. He leaned against the counter, keeping an eye on the door.

The last thing he needed was Keith finding out he fucked around after giving him the week off.

Robin scoffed. “Not go?” she questioned. “He obviously wasn’t serious about you coming with.”

"You know I would do the same for you," he said with a sigh. "For any of you. Plus his life has already been turned upside down enough, don't you think?"

Robin sighed. "I'm not really mad," she said. "It's just that this will be the longest we've been apart since the Russians under the mall."

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose. "Just think of it as a trial run for when you go to college."

"Yeah okay," she said resigned. "Just call me before you leave and again when you get there, okay?"

"Aye, aye, captain!" Steve said with a grin.

Robin giggled. "Shut up!" She paused for a moment. "I'll miss your stupid face, dingus."

“I’ll miss yours, too,” Steve said with a sigh. “I’ll call as often as I can okay?”

“You better.”

They talked a little bit longer until a customer came in and he had to hang up.

When he got home he started calling all the kids and packing for a week long trip. He wasn’t sure what he should bring in terms of clothes and ended up calling Eddie.

Eddie who laughed when he asked. “Just bring what you would normally wear this time of year.”

Steve chewed on his lip. “So I won’t get mercilessly teased about my preppy clothes?”

“Oh no, you will,” Eddie confirmed. “It’s just you don’t have to change yourself to fit in with a bunch of assholes who would make fun of you. Okay?”

Steve let out a slow breath and his anxiety went with it. He could handle that. Those assholes had never met a bitch like Steve Harrington before.

“Yeah, okay,” he said after a moment. “You and Wayne decide which vehicle we’re taking?”

“Yeah, he suggested we take his truck and your car,” Eddie said. “He knows he’s going to be taking a lot back and thinks your car will make it better than my van.”

“Sounds good,” Steve murmured, a little disappointed. “So who will you be riding with for the trip down?”

He could almost feel the grin from here. “With you, of course, darlin’.”

Steve laughed. “Yeah okay. What time do you need me at your house?”

There was a beat and then two before Eddie said, “I was thinking that you should spend the night so we could leave first thing in the morning.”

Steve’s heart sped up as his breath caught in his chest. “Yeah. Sure. That’s a good idea. I’ll show up at eight tonight, give myself a little bit more time to pack.”

“Sounds good,” Eddie replied. “Wayne suggested it because it’s a six hour drive and we want to leave as early as we can so it’s not too late when we get there.”

Steve felt a jumble of emotions at that statement. It was a relief that it was a practical reason, but at the same time it was a disappointment that it wasn’t Eddie’s idea.

He took a deep breath. “I hear that. I remember the trips to Lexington when I was kid before we started flying. They were a bitch.”

“It really surprises me that you have family in Kentucky. I don’t know why, a lot of people in Indiana do, it’s just...”

“Harringtons are so entrenched in Hawkins it’s weird to think we have connections outside of it?” Steve supplied.

Eddie laughed. “Yeah, that.”

“My parents met in college and I didn’t move to Hawkins until I was eight,” Steve said.

“Wait,” Eddie said. “No way. You aren’t a Hawkins native?”

Steve chuckled. “Nope. I’m more like you and Dustin then the Wheelers and the Byers. And the Sinclairs.”

“Huh,” Eddie said after a moment. “You certainly have hidden depths, my friend.”

“You have no idea,” Steve teased.

“Then I’ll just have to use this trip to dive deeper,” Eddie teased back.

“I have to pack, you dork,” Steve said fondly. “I’ll be over at eight.”

“See you then, Stevie.”

***

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#my writing #stranger things #steddie #ladykailtiha writes #dealing with grief #minor character death

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lonely-ey3s · 1 month ago

Text

With All My Love: Chapter 11 | crawl home to her

Chapter 11 : Crawl Home to Her

Word count: 12.6k

Chapter Summary: Joel starts making plans for your future together, getting everything arranged to ask you a very important question. You start going to therapy with Diane and things start to feel like they are going well but when you’re forced to relive Z’s death in a session, it pushes you off the edge. You start to make strides and feel better but soon after, something happens that knocks you completely off your axis, it pushes things out with Joel’s plans to be a little longer than he’d like.

Chapter warnings: SMUT (18+ MDNI), unprotected p in v (wrap it up ya'll), anxiety, nightmares, flashbacks of traumatic memories, mentions of PTSD anxiety, FLUFF, joel being an absolute lover, soft!joel, panic attacks, mentions of death, funeral, depression, use of Spanish and Dari but with translations, lying to partner (justified you’ll see), use of y/n.

A/N: this chapter was inspired by hozier’s ‘work song’ which i feel screams joel and this reader. that’s all i’ll say hehe – enjoy ❣️

Dividers by: @saradika-graphics

Main Masterlist

October 1st

Joel took the day off but didn’t tell you he had it off from work, he got up like normal and kept everything as routine as normal. However he wasn’t going into the office today, he was going to visit his mom for breakfast.

He left the house at 7:15 am, giving you a quick kiss as you were getting ready to go on a run then left the house and headed to his mom’s place.

He got there close to 8 am, she knew he was coming, he called her a few days ago asking if he could come over for breakfast and to talk about something important.

Elena knew. She knew the day she met you. She knew sooner rather than later, he was going to ask for her ring to propose to you. The way Joel held you in his arms, the way he looked at you like no one else was in the room, the way you spoke about him and Sarah, she knew. Joel wasn’t very secretive about his intentions either to his mom, casually asking here and there if she still had the family heirloom or saying something about how he’d like to settle down. Especially around his mom, he held you like you hung the moon and stars, he truly worshipped the ground you graced him with, and the happiness and warmth he had now exhibited, it was all she ever wanted for him.

It was hard watching him with Rachelle, she never seemed devoted to him or even in love with him, just the idea of him. She also hated how she treated him after finding out she was pregnant, like it was only Joel’s fault, holding him solely responsible for something they both took part in.

Joel changed after she told him she was pregnant, he closed himself off, emotionally especially. After trying so hard to love someone who didn’t love you back but then feel tied to that person for the next 18 years, it was one of the worst kinds of pains you could watch your child go through.

If Elena was being honest, when Rachelle left, it was somewhat of a relief. She knew that it would be hard on her son, but she never doubted Joel as a dad to Sarah. She knew he’d do what he needed to raise and love Sarah, that was clear. But what she was scared about was Joel being trapped in a loveless relationship when he had so much to offer and he deserved it back. To know and see how he felt with you, to her, it was all a mother could dream for her child.

She had breakfast cooking when he gently knocked on the front door before walking in, he was dressed in a nice button down and jeans, hair combed nicely as he had to put on the charade that he was dressing to go to work for you.

“Buenos dias mama…” he smiled and came up to her at the stove and kissed her cheek.

“Hola mi amor…” she smiled and nodded for him to sit, “Tengo café listo para ti en la cafetera.” (I have coffee ready for you in the pot.)

Joel smiled and thanked her, grabbing a mug from her cupboard and pouring himself a mug.

“How is your morning so far? How’s Y/N?” she looked back at Joel briefly as she started to plate up the breakfast she had made them, which was pincho de tortilla, one of his favorites.

Joel smiled and leaned against her counter, taking a sip of the coffee, humming, “It was good, she’s well, started talking to a therapist, which she said has been helping with the anxiety and nightmares.” he smiled and looked down at his coffee.

She tsked and nodded towards the table, “Sentémonos y hablemos… comamos.” (Let us sit down and talk… eat.) She grabbed the two plates of food and walked over to the small table she had around her island in the corner of her kitchen.

Joel followed and pulled her chair out for her, she sat and smiled, thanking him. He kissed her cheek gently and touched her shoulder, “Cualquier cosa para ti mamá” (Anything for you mama)

When Joel sat down she looked at him and smiled, studying him, “It’s so nice to see that warmth back in you, mi armor.” she touched his hand softly, “I missed seeing your alma…” (Soul, spirit, heart)

Joel looked up at his mom and warmly smiled, “Mama… I wanted to talk to you about…”

Before he could get the rest of his sentence out she pulled a small blue ring box out of her apron and set it in front of him, “¿Supongo que estás aquí por esto? Le pedirás que se case contigo, ¿sí?” (I assume you are here about this? You will ask her to marry you, yes?)

Joel chuckled looking at the box and teared up, nodding, “Yes mama, but I also came for your blessing.” he looked back up at her.

She tsked and shook his hand, tears falling down her cheeks as she smiled, “Mientras seas feliz, siempre tendrás mi bendición. Ella te hace brillar mi amor, te hace calentar!” (As long as you are happy, you will always have my blessing. She makes you shine my love, makes you warm!)

Joel picked up the box and opened it to reveal his grandmother’s ring which was passed onto his mother that was now either his or Tommy’s, whichever got to it first. It was a marquise-cut diamond in the center with two others to the side and then smaller diamonds around it. It was perfect. He took it out and held it in his fingers, tears streaming down his face, imagining him asking you, thinking about your reaction.

“She’s going to love it, mi vida.” she said softly, looking at the ring with him.

He nodded and cleared his throat, putting it back into the box and closing it, wiping his eyes, chuckling as he blushed.

“So… when will this be happening?” she took a bite of her food and looked at him, probing.

He chuckled and smiled, “I was going to ask her during the holidays but I can’t wait, something just feels right… waiting would…. hazme volverme loco…” (make me go crazy) He scoffed and chuckled lightly before smiling warmly, “...I have a few ideas but need to get this resized first then I’ll know when exactly…” he smiled down at the box, “But soon, as soon as I can.” he looked at her and brightly smiled.

Elena chuckled, “Come cariño, hace frío.” (Eat my darling, it’s getting cold) She shook her head as she smiled and then took his hand and gently squeezed it.

Joel left his mom’s a few hours later; he helped her with a few things around the house.

He drove back and went to watch Sarah practice soccer on the field after school, something he never had time for since most days he worked well past dinner time. He wasn’t the only person watching, but for Sarah, it was the first time in a long time she saw him on the sidelines during practice.

Sarah came up to him when it was over, backpack and duffle bag over her shoulders, “Hey Dad, everything ok?” she said out of breath.

He nodded and smiled, reaching to take both and carry them for her, “Yeah, I just wanted to talk to you about something before you got home.”

Sarah stopped walking, “Whatever you were told I did, I didn’t do unless you have video evidence, which in that case I need to have my lawyer present.” she joked.

Joel chuckled and nodded at her, “Come on… you weirdo. You aren’t in trouble.”

She smiled and caught up with him, “Well then what is it?” she prodded.

Joel smiled, “Let’s get into the truck first.”

He opened his truck door for her and she got in, he tossed her bags in the bed of the truck and then went into the driver's side, shutting the door.

Sarah adjusted in her seat to face him, tucking her foot under her thigh, hands in her lap, “Ok, what’s going on… you’re being oddly hush-hush…” Then she gasped, “Oh my god, am I going to be a big sister?!” she nearly shouted.

Joel chuckled and shook his head, “No, well not yet, no. But I wanted to talk to you about a step I’d like to take with Y/N before that happens…”

She looked at him with disgust, “Dad, I thought you guys were already doing that stuff… why do you need to consult with me about that?”

Joel turned red and shook his hands in front of him, “Oh god, no. I uhm… sorry wrong way to have phrased that, god. No, propose, I want to ask her to marry me.” she blurted out, flustered.

Sarah turned her head and smiled, “Wait what? You’re going to ask her to marry you?”

Joel swallowed, “Well, that’s what I want to talk to you about. How does that make you feel? Is that something you’re ok with?” he looked down at his hands, nervous.

Sarah chuckled like she thought he was messing with her, “You’re kidding right?”

He looked at her with those puppy eyes he has and she realized he was serious, “Oh, Dad… I’d be so proud and happy if you two got married. I think she would be overjoyed if you were to ask! You make each other so happy and take care of each other… I… anyone with two eyes can see you’re perfect for each other.” she smiled softly.

“You don’t think it’d be too quick? Like I’m moving too fast?” he leaned forward, messing with his cuticle.

She shook her head and smiled softly, “Proposing at the airport would have been too fast, but now? No… when you find the one, you… just… know. And Dad, you know she’s the right one.”

Joel nodded and smiled warmly, still messing with his cuticle, “Do you think she’s ready for that step?”

Sarah chuckled, “Dad, she’d marry you tomorrow if you asked.”

Joel looked up at Sarah and smiled, blushing lightly at that thought.

“Point is, she loves you and you love her.” she looked down at her hands and cleared her throat, “When are you gonna do it?” she looked up and grinned, wanting to know details.

Joel chuckled, “I need to know how long it’ll take to get the ring resized and then it’ll be after that.” he smiled.

Sarah perked up, “You’ve already got a ring? What the heck! You didn’t take me with you!” she nudged him, offended.

Joel laughed lightly and leaned forward, getting into his pocket and pulling out the ring box, handing it to Sarah, “It’s an heirloom baby girl, I got it from Abuelita today.” he blushed a little, everything was coming together.

Sarah opened the box and gasped, “Holy shit.”

Joel chuckled, “Language.”

Sarah giggled, “Sorry but that’s my thought! This is… dad it’s beautiful. She’s going to love it.” she looked up at her dad and had tears in her eyes, “You’re getting married…”

Joel smiled and then pulled her in for a hug, “Oh don’t cry, sweet pea.” he chuckled as he rubbed her back.

Sarah pulled away and wiped her tears, taking a deep breath, “I’m a horrible secret keeper, I don’t know how I’m not going to say anything…” She chuckled and looked back down at the ring, “Do Tommy and Maria know?” she looked up, hopeful.

He shook his head, “Abuelita was only the first because she had the ring, you know before Tommy if that’s what you’re worried about.” he laughed softly knowing Sarah and Tommy were always competitive in knowing things first as they were both equally close to Joel.

Sarah chuckled, “Suck on that Reginald.” she muttered to herself.

“Let’s get you home so she doesn’t suspect anything and then I’ll go to Tommy’s and tell them and be ‘home’ around my normal time…” he winked.

Sarah nodded and buckled up, giving him back the ring box, “Sounds good. I’ll lock myself in my room with a ‘project’ until you get home…” she giggled, excitedly.

Joel took Sarah home and dropped her off down the street so you wouldn’t hear his truck then went to Tommy’s.

Joel pulled into Tommy’s and before he could even get out of the truck Tommy was out on the porch, “What’s wrong? You weren’t at work today…”

Joel just chuckled and smiled, “Is Maria home?” he hiked up the steps and gently grabbed his brother by the shoulder to pull him inside with him.

“Yeah, she’s just makin’ somethin’ to eat, why? Where’s Y?N?” Tommy pressed.

It was rare for Joel to take a full day off work. But for him to take a full day off and then show up at Tommy’s with a smile and pep to his step, Tommy didn’t know what the hell to think.

Maria had some light country music playing in the kitchen as she cooked something on the stove, “Hey Joel…” she then snapped her head towards him, “What’s wrong?” instant concern flooding her face.

Joel chuckled, “Will you two just calm down? Nothing is wrong.”

Maria set the spatula down that she was using to break up some hamburger meat in a skillet, “If nothing is wrong, then why are you here, and why did Tommy say that you weren’t at work today?”

Joel sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, “Ay dios mío…” he reached into his pocket, pulled out the ring box, and set it on the counter for Maria and Tommy to both see, “This is why…”

Both of them froze and then looked at each other, before looking at Joel and then looking back at the ring box.

“Is that what I think it is?” Maria grinned, tearing up a little.

“You bastard…” Tommy chuckled and grabbed the box, opening it.

“Sorry, I beat you to it, but yes. It’s what you think.” Joel shyly sat down at the table.

Maria squealed and jumped, running over and hugging Joel, almost knocking him off the damn chair.

He laughed and held her, hugging her tightly back.

“When? Where? I need to know everything!” Maria sat down in front of him, a greasy spatula in her hand.

Joel chuckled looking at her, “Soon. I need to resize the ring first, but it’ll be within the month. I have a few ideas that I’m tossing in my head, I just… I want everything to be perfect.” He smiled softly.

Tommy smiled and looked at the ring closer, “How did Mama take the news?” he looked at Joel.

Joel softly chuckled, “She put the ring in front of me before I could even ask for it…” he blushed, “She told me as long as I was happy, that’s all she wanted.”

Tommy brought the ring box over and let Maria see it, “Joel, it’s beautiful… she’s going to go crazy.”

Maria teared up, looking down at it, “Ugh, I’m so happy for you two…” she started crying.

Joel smiled, “I may need your help with some distractions at some point, would that be ok?” he looked at Maria.

“Are you kidding? My lips are sealed! Whatever you need, I’ll do!” she laughed through the tears, frantically wiping them, “My best friend is getting married!”

Joel chuckled and knelt in front of her and pulled her in for a hug, “Thank you for all you’ve done for her, and for making her damn stubborn ass write me those letters, without you, this wouldn’t have been possible. Thank you.” he held onto her tightly.

Tommy gently took the spatula from her grasp and took care of what she left at the stove as she hugged Joel.

She nodded, “Does this mean you're going to name your kids after me?” she teased and pulled away.

Joel chuckled, “I’m sure you’ll be in the running.”

Maria chuckled and then held his face in her hands and smiled, “Oh, Joel, I’m so happy for you. You deserve this.” she pulled him in for another hug.

Joel held onto her a little longer that time, feeling for the first time in a very long time that he truly had everything he needed. He was a blessed man.

Maria slowly pulled away, “You want to stay for dinner?” she smiled, “It’s nothin’ fancy, just taco salad…”

Joel stood and gently took the ring box from the table, closing it up, and smiling, “I actually need to make it home. If I’m not home soon she’ll suspect something might be up.” he looked up and sniffed softly, wiping his eyes.

Tommy smiled and put the spatula down then came over and hugged his brother tightly, “Congrats, I’m so happy for you both.” he patted Joel’s back and smiled as he pulled away.

Joel smiled and told them he would keep them posted then left theirs.

He ran by the store and grabbed some flowers for you before heading home trying to ask like the best thing just happened today, he got the ring to propose to you.

He opened the front door to the sweet smell of what he could deduce was something that had been cooking all day, “Hey baby, I’m home.” he said loud enough to be heard through the house.

You peeked your head from the kitchen, “In here!” and then disappeared to do what you were doing.

He smiled and put the ring box in his work bag before taking off his boots and coming up from behind you, “Mi vida…” he wrapped his arm around your waist from behind and kissed your cheek, making you smile and giggle.

“Hello, my love…” you touched his hand around your waist and kept working at stirring some gravy on the stove, “Dinner will be ready in about 5 minutes…”

He smiled and kissed your shoulder softly, humming, “Take your time, we are in no rush.” he rocked you a little from side to side.

You smiled and turned your head and did a dramatic sigh, “My my, are those for me?” you said in a small British accent, clutching your imaginary pearls, looking at the flowers he had in his hand.

He smiled and nodded, chuckling at your humor, “They are, I missed you too much today to come home empty-handed…” he leaned in and gently kissed your cheek.

You blushed and set the whisk down to turn in his grasp to gently pull him close by his button-up and kiss him gently.

He put his hand on your cheek gently and continued to kiss you, softly and slowly.

Sarah came down the stairs and gasped seeing the flowers, thinking it had happened, and covered her mouth excitedly, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet.

Joel pulled away from your lips and turned to see her reaction, you chuckled and looked at her, “You good sweets, what’s earned that reaction?”

Joel’s eyes widened and he looked at her telepathically telling her ‘It didn’t happen, it’s just flowers.’, barely shook his head to signal to her.

She looked at you and then smiled, lying through her teeth, “Uhhm oh! My gosh I just saw that you cooked roast! I’m so excited!” she opened the lid that had the roast inside it and took a whiff, “Mmm! Delicious!” she smiled brightly.

You looked at her confused, she never got this excited about the roast and you’ve cooked it before for them, “Ok? Never got that reaction outta you for a roast but I’ll let it slide…” You chuckled then took the gravy off the stove and started walking towards the front door.

Joel swatted at Sarah, whispering, “You almost ruined it!” he smiled, knowing she didn’t mean to, she’s just excited.

Joel put the flowers in the sink and then went to follow you. He turned around the corner when he saw you reached down to grab his work bag and he jumped at you going to open the bag, but you pulled away, smiling, clueless.

“Woah! Whatcha doin’ darlin’?” internally panicking, you could not get into that bag.

You giggled, looking up at him, “I’m just getting your lunch bag out, silly!” You went to open it again.

‘Fuck fuck FUCK!’ was all he could think so he blurted out, “I left it at work.”

Sarah peeked around and knew exactly why her dad was being weird about the bag, she started thinking, ‘Shit she has the bag. She can’t have the bag. Crap!’

You looked up at him and chuckled, then looked between the two of them, both smiling a little too widely, looking guilty, you narrowed your eyes and pursed your lips, “Ya’ll are jumpy and acting weird, what’s going on?”

Joel shook his head and chuckled, “Nothing is going on… we aren’t being weird. Right, Sarah?”

Sarah nodded and came over and chuckled forcefully, “Right, this is our normal not weird at all selves.” he nudged your arm gently with her fist, trying to act casually, but it backfired as you read right through it.

You watched as her fist nudged you and then clocked Joel with your gaze, testing him, “Cool, ok. So then what’s in the bag?” you tilted your head.

He had every damn red alarm and code red going off in his head, heart racing, palms sweaty, he was panicking but on the outside, he kept it together, looked cool as a cucumber, “Nothin’ just contracts and work stuff sweetheart.” he smiled.

You looked at Sarah and she swallowed, she was horrible at lying and even worse at keeping secrets. However, she was easy to crack as well and you knew that, you grinned, “If there’s nothing in the bag, then why are you so nervous sweets?”

“Nervous? I’m not nervous… you’re nervous…” she chuckled, putting her hands up defensively.

“Sarah Elena Miller, what is going on?” you chuckled.

She knew she couldn’t tell you the truth, but she needed to get you off this damn bag so she took one for the team and for the first time lied straight through her teeth. She took a breath and sighed heavily for dramatics, “Fine…” she looked at Joel who looked like he was going to crack for a split second before she rambled, “I kissed a boy… and we got caught behind the bleachers by the stupid assistant principal. Dad picked me up from school early today because I got called into the principal’s office due to breaking ‘school conduct’...” she rolled her eyes and used air quotes, “...and there’s a write-up in dad’s bag…” she looked at the bag and pointed, “One that he promised he wouldn’t show you because I didn’t want you to know… because you’re gonna get all… mom-ish about it…”

You dropped the bag and opened your arms, smiling, “You kissed a boy!?” you giggled, “Come here!” you hugged her tightly. Joel quickly swept in and grabbed the bag, getting the ring out and putting it in his back pocket quickly.

Sarah looked at Joel while hugging you and glared, mouthing ‘You owe me’.

Joel nodded and mouthed back, ‘Thank you’.

You pulled back, “Tell me everything!” you dragged her to the kitchen, now wrapped up in this lie.

Joel took this opportunity to run upstairs and put the ring in his lock box under the bed which had his gun and some spare cash before quickly making it back down in hopes you didn’t see him disappear upstairs.

Sarah made up some scenario about her and some boy in chemistry, kept it brief but indulged you with small details.

It was a small price for Sarah to pay to keep the big picture alive for her Dad which is all she wanted.

2 weeks later

You had been going to therapy once a week and meeting with Diane at her office downtown ever since that dinner with Joel and his coworkers. For the most part, it had been helping with the nightmares and coping with moments of anxiety.

However, since your last session a couple of days ago, you guys touched on Z’s death and went over the events that led up to it. She had you recount certain key details that she attempted to guide you in knowing and understanding there was nothing you could have done to avoid what happened. It helped you understand that you weren’t responsible for his death but the flashbacks and recounts of what happened made it hard to sleep or relax the last few days.

You shot up out of a dead sleep and gasped, panting hard as you had been taken back to being in that chokehold that you swear is the reason Z is dead. You were shaking, unable to associate where you were in some way, staring into the distance as past trauma flooded your mind. It was like you were right back there. You weren’t in bed, you were back in the middle of that street.

Joel turned in his sleep and went to reach for you, and felt you weren’t there. He opened his eyes and saw you sitting up, your chest heaving and eyes wide open, “Baby?” he gently went to touch you, but the second his hand touched your back, you jolted out of fear and moved away from him, off the bed, “No! no…” you said loudly, you grabbed a pillow from the floor to put distance between you two, your hands shaking, eyes filled with fear, you weren’t there, you were reliving something.

He sat up, instantly realizing what you were experiencing, Diane warned him this might happen, and held his hands out defensively, “Hey, it’s me…” he spoke softly and calmly. He got up off the bed and held his hands up for you to see, “Baby, it’s me...” he cooed, “You’re safe. You are with me at our home.” he started to walk towards you.

You backed up into a corner and held the pillow out, “D-don’t… don’t move…”

He nodded, “Ok… I’m going to stay right here…” he continued to speak softly. “Can you take a deep breath with me?” he took a deep breath through his nose, watching for you to do it with him, you weren’t there, your eyes were somewhere else.

You shook your head, “Stop.. stop!” and began panting quickly through your nose, you put your hand on your chest instinctually.

“Where… where is it…” Your eyes moved around the room, analyzing the surroundings, mentally calculating every component, “Where is it…” you questioned, jaw clenched, looking for something specific.

“Where’s what sweetheart?” Joel asked, softly, trying to follow your eyes.

“Where is it?” you fell to the floor and started frantically looking for something on the floor. “Where is it…” you repeated, patting the floor to find something.

Joel went to move from that spot he was at to come by you and help, but you immediately shot up and stood, “Ja nakon!” (Don’t move in Dari), you shouted twice, pointing at him to get back to where he was.

He nodded, he rarely heard you speak Dari, this was bad, so he went back, “Ok. I won’t… I won’t move.” he watched as you dragged your bag out from under the bed, tearing through it, not finding what you needed.

“I can help… what are you looking for, I can help you…” he pleaded, looking at you panicking at what you couldn’t find, wanting nothing more than to help you through this.

You stood and started digging through the dresser, frantically looking through clothes, tears now streaming down your cheeks, “M-my necklace…” you began to sob, and began hyperventilating, knees giving out on you, sliding down the dresser, “Fuck… fuck…” you grabbed your shirt over your chest and closed your eyes, trying to breathe.

“Necklace?” he perked up, “Baby, it’s in the bathroom… you take it off at night.” he watched you fall to your knees and went to move but then remembered what Diane had told him. She said to do exactly as you said when you had these episodes as you could turn violent, unable to know the difference between memories and reality, but this, this was you being weighed down by what you had no control over, you couldn’t move, you didn’t know where you were and he could help.

“Fuck it.” he rolled over the bed and went into the bathroom, grabbing the necklace he gave you, which was in a jewelry dish you found thrifting with all your earrings and rings you would wear, he came out then slowly walked over to you, “Here… look… I found it…” he was careful not to touch you but came to your side and opened his hand, showing you the necklace in his palm.

You opened your eyes, and your breathing started to slow down, you instantly were surrounded by his scent from his cologne, “Joel…” you breathed out quietly, then immediately leaned your head onto his chest, “My Joel…” your breathing started to calm down and you started to cry softly, “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…” you curled into him.

He immediately wrapped you in his arms, “Shhh… you’re safe.” he kissed your head, “I got you.”

You gripped onto his arm, repeating how sorry you were.

He just kept kissing your head and holding you, no need to acknowledge the apologies, as you had nothing to be sorry for in his eyes.

He hummed softly the song you and he danced to in the bathroom your first night here which you had deemed your’s and his song. It instantly put you to sleep in his arms, against his chest.

He slowly picked you up and put the both of you into bed, holding you close against his chest so you could hear his heartbeat, he kept you that way all through the night.

—

At 4:45 am your alarm went off to go on your run. You leaned over and turned it off and sighed, blinking your eyes open as you lay on your back, exhausted from last night's events.

“You can always skip it…” Joel turned on his side and kissed your shoulder, then took your hand in his and kissed it as well.

You smiled softly, “Routine is important to maintain…” you looked over at him, “That’s important now after what happened last night…” you sadly said, taking your other hand and combing your fingers through his hair softly, looking at his features.

He smirked, looking at your lips, “Can we add something else to your routine then?” he kissed your shoulder again, then moved to settle himself in between your legs, moving his lips to kiss up to your neck.

You chuckled, biting your lip, “Baby… you try this every time I go on a run, and what happens?”

He grinned and slowly ran his hand up your thigh to take your hand in his then took your other hand with his other hand, putting them above your head, holding your wrists, effectively trapping you under him. He leans down and whispers in your ear as he starts to grind his hardened cock against your core, “I observe and I adapt.” he nibbles on your earlobe earning a soft moan from you.

“You need your hands when it comes to getting out from under me, I took care of that.” he growled into your neck as he started kissing your pulse point and jawline.

Your hips involuntarily bucked against his and you moaned softly as he began sucking on that soft spot under your ear, teasing it with the tip of his tongue.

He hummed and held your hands in one of his, slowly moving the other between your bodies as he heard you heavily pant, cursing under your breath, “Fuck Joel…”

“I know baby…” he kissed down your neck to your chest and collarbones before moving his hips back to take himself out of his boxers and line up with your entrance that was already weeping for him. “Do me a favor and open your legs a little wider for me, mi vida…”

You opened your legs, letting your knees almost touch the mattress, fully open for him, he groaned, “God you look so good like this…” he notched himself at your entrance “But you feel even better…” he then looked up at you before slowly sinking himself into you, causing your breath to hitch and his to quicken as the sudden warmth pulled him in, earning a deep groan from him.

Your head went up and back against your pillow, pussy fluttering as he continued to bury himself inside you, whispering as you weren’t sure if Sarah had gotten up for soccer practice yet, “Fuck, keep going…” you begged.

Joel moved his hand to bring your left thigh up to open you up further for him, earning a small whimper from you, eyebrows pinched, chest heaving, taking a deep breath, “God I…” you let out a breath to avoid moaning.

Joel knew what you were doing and took that as a challenge, “Not moaning for me baby?” he lightly panted as he moved to your leg was now against his chest, and your calf and foot were now over his shoulder as he used himself to push against you; opening you wide as you could.

He kissed your inner thigh and knee, “We’ll see about that…” and then began thrusting deeply and slowly in and out of you, from base to tip, over and over, slowly building in speed with each repetition.

He kept your hands above your head, feeling you slowly crumble beneath him from how your hands started to fight against him, and your head slowly began rolling to moan into your arm near your head.

He groaned softly, “Eyes on me, mi amor, I can feel your close…” he felt you grip his cock, and begin to roll your hips with him, eager for release.

Your breath quickened and became heavy, “I want to touch you…” your eyes traveled up to your hands and then back to his eyes, “Please…” you pleaded.

He nodded, bringing his hand down to cup your cheek and leaned in, capturing your lips in his and slowly kissing you, your hands grabbing onto his bicep and shoulder, moaning against his lips as you came shortly after, your legs shaking against him.

He pulled away from your lips and put his forehead against yours, stroking your cheek softly as he whispered, “Eres el amor de mi vida” (You are the love of my life)

You moved your hand from his shoulder to his cheek then into his hair, pulling him close to you, looking into his eyes lovingly, whispering, “Eres mi todo…” (You are my everything)

You leaned your head up to capture his lips in yours and kiss him deeply, both of you panting as he sped up his thrusts, rocking the bed as he rocked into your hips, you moaned against his lips, close again to release, this time feeling like a wave was about to crash, pulling his hair to keep him close, addicted to his lips on yours, probing your tongue into his mouth, deepening the kiss.

Joel’s hand flew to hold onto the headboard above you as he continued to grind into you, feeling that familiar pull in his naval, warmth starting to spread down his spine, he mumbled against your lips, “Fuck…” before his hips snapped into you, grunting and spilling himself inside of you, earning a tight flutter around him as you came as well, gripping onto his shoulder, moaning his name against his lips as his hips slowed down, his breath shaky against your lips.

You hummed and combed through his hair, slowing your kisses down, lips leaving him to kiss down his jaw and neck, gently kissing those places, “That’s one way to get my pre-workout…”

Joel slowly pulled out, hissing as he fell onto his back, chest heaving, a light layer of sweat coating his skin, eyes dizzy and drunk from the high he just had.

You looked over at him and kissed his shoulder as you leaned over, “Get some more sleep before work, my love…” you chuckled softly before getting up to clean up and get dressed.

By the time you came back into the bedroom dressed in a hoodie and leggings, he was passed out, asleep. You chuckled quietly and combed his hair back gently, kissing his forehead before leaving to go on your run.

You came home an hour later, sore and muscles feeling exhausted, it was exactly what you needed.

You saw no one had been up yet so you decided to start making breakfast.

After last night you wanted to do something for Joel so you wrote him a letter, something you two hadn’t done for each other in a while since you’d been home, and put some lipstick on to put kiss marks all over it after you had finished writing it.

You saw Maria had done it once with a letter of Tommy’s and never got the chance to do it yourself.

You also found a keychain that said ‘Drive safe cowboy’ and your initial and a cowboy hat charm on it the other day at a gas station, you couldn’t help but get it for him.

You put it in the envelope along with the letter, then went over to Joel’s bag by the front door and, put it in the main pocket so he could see it when he got to work.

You had pancakes, eggs, and toast ready when you saw the clock and no one was up, you jogged upstairs and knocked on Sarah’s door before opening it, “Sweets time to get up, it’s 6:30…” she groaned and smiled, nodding before she sat up and stretched.

You went down the hall and knocked on the bedroom door, peeking in, “Hey sleepy head, it’s time to get up, breakfast is going to get cold.”

Joel shot up and looked back at you, “Come ‘ere…” he sleepily said.

You chuckled, “Nope, not fallin’ for that cowboy. You want me, I’ll be in the kitchen.” you closed the door lightly and went back downstairs.

Both were downstairs fully dressed within the next 20 minutes. You had your laptop out on the table and were messaging Reggie back and forth lately in the mornings, checking in on him.

You made Sarah a plate and gave it to her when she came down, “Mornin’ sweets… your soccer gear is folded and in your duffle bag, I washed last night for you. Also, you left your chemistry book out, I put it in your book bag.” you smiled at her.

She took the plate and smiled, “Thank you…”

You nodded and handed Joel his plate, “Mornin’ sweetheart… your lunch is in your bag, and the calendar says you have a meeting with Ross and Associates at 7:30… do you want a to-go coffee as well since you won’t be able to stop for one?”

He put his plate down and shook his head, cupping your cheek with his hand, “Kiss me first then I’ll give you my answer mi cielo…” (my heaven/sky)

Sarah rolled her eyes and groaned, turning around with her plate, and eating some eggs, “First let me avert my innocent eyes…”

You chuckled and then leaned up and kissed him gently once then slowly and deeply another before pulling away, keeping your eyes closed, leaning into his hand.

He smiled and gently rubbed your cheek with his thumb, “To go coffee would be nice, thank you…” he leaned back in and kissed you again, this time deeply and sliding his tongue against your lips, you blushed and kissed him back a few times before Sarah cleared her throat.

“Ya’ll done sucking face?” she said with her back still to you.

You giggled and pulled away, gently touching his cheek, “Eh, for now…” you winked up at him then handed him his plate again.

He smiled and bit his lip, pecking your lips once more before going to sit at the table.

There was an alert from your computer, it was from Reggie, “Baby can you tell me what Reggie said?”

You went to the cupboard and grabbed a travel thermos, filling it with coffee for Joel.

Joel pulled your laptop over and clicked on the message, reading it, “He said he’s going on assignment for a few days, something super easy, he said he’s going to Delta 22?” he looked up at you.

You nodded, “Oh they must just need extra hands, but they have horrible service there.” you shrugged, nothing to worry about. “Will you tell him ‘thank you for letting me know’ and to call me when he gets back?” you smiled over at Joel, making yourself a plate of breakfast.

Joel smiled at you and nodded, typing out a message and then sending it to him.

You came over and sat by him, closing your laptop seeing Reggie had gone offline, “Here’s your coffee…” You put the thermos by his plate.

He leaned over and kissed your cheek, “Thank you for all you do, cada diํa te quiero mas” (Each day I love you more)

You blushed and began eating your breakfast.

Before you knew it they were both out of the door, leaving you to your own devices which consisted of applying for jobs and cleaning small things around the house.

Joel got to work and knew he was going to propose next weekend. He had a few more things to line up, but for the most part, everyone knew and was all super excited now, knowing an exact date and how he was going to do it. The meeting he had with ‘Ross and Associates’ was actually an engagement photographer he hired to capture the moment as Maria emphasized how much you would love having it captured. He was meeting with them to outline the timeline of events and then what he wanted out of the session.

He met with them, and everything went well, they would be at the place where he was doing everything, acting like someone randomly taking photos, but the moment he got on one knee, they’d be there to capture it all.

He opened his bag to get into his lunch and came across the envelope with your handwriting on it.

It was addressed to “Mi vaquero”. He smiled and eagerly opened it, seeing the keychain and letter, he immediately put the keychain on his key ring and then opened the letter, leaning back into his chair as he read:

Joel, I wanted to get back into the habit of how we started, writing you letters. I miss it. I sometimes crave opening the mailbox and seeing a letter from you, it brought me so much joy and happiness seeing you wrote me. I can’t believe sometimes that’s how we started, by a simple letter. Crazy right? I wanted to thank you for how patient and kind you’ve been with me since coming home. I know it’s not easy with my nightmares and trauma, I can see the fear and anxiety in your eyes - and I just wanted to thank you for how you take care of me and love me. I also wanted to tell you that since being home I’ve had an amazing time with you. I wake up every day and eres la razón por la que sonrío todos los días. (You are the reason I smile every day) I see my whole life with you and Sarah, I love you both so much and enjoy our life together. Sarah called me mom at her tryouts, and I don’t know if it was on accident or purpose but I can’t begin to tell you how happy that made me feel. You two are my family, my everything. Let’s get back into the letter writing, please? With all my love, Y/N’

Joel smiled at the part you said about Sarah calling you mom. He knew she wanted you to be a mom figure to her, but it warmed his heart to know she may already be calling you ‘mom’.

He loved the kiss marks around the letter, a nice little new touch to the letters. He would definitely be leaving your letters more often around the house and now had an idea to add to the proposal.

2 days later

Sarah got home from school around 4 pm and found the house completely dark, with windows closed, and lights off, it was weird, something was off.

She called out for you, no answer.

She walked upstairs and saw the bedroom door was closed, she knocked on it softly, “Y/N… you in there?” she opened the door, and you were curled up in bed, tissue box by the bed, it was completely dark.

You didn’t answer.

Sarah stepped in, “Hey… you ok?”

She came around and gently touched your shoulder, you sniffed, your eyes were red and bloodshot, from crying, “Y/N… what’s wrong?” she asked concerned.

“Reggie…” you swallowed, looking at the wall across from you, “He’s dead.” you put the covers over your head and softly started to cry again.

Sarah sadly sighed, “I'm so sorry..." she rubbed your back softly with her thumb, "Do you want me to come lay with you or do you need to be alone?”

“You can stay, but if you need to go, I understand.” you said softly.

Sarah nodded, “I just need to go put my book bag away, I’ll be back ok?”

You nodded, staying under the covers as tears poured from your eyes.

Sarah left the room and went downstairs, immediately calling Joel.

He picked up, smiling, “Hey sweet pea.”

“Dad, can you come home?” Sarah asked biting her nail.

Joel’s tone immediately changed, “Sarah, what’s wrong?”

“Reggie… she said he’s dead. Dad, it’s bad. She’s in bed, I came home to the whole house dark, she’s… please, I don’t know what to do... I...” Sarah tearing up.

“Does Maria know?” he grabbed his keys and started jogging to his truck.

“I don’t know, I doubt it. Can you call Tommy? I’m going to go lay with her til you get home.” she started walking up the stairs.

“Ok yeah, I'll call him. I’ll be home soon. I love you. Thank you for calling me.”

“I love you too, see you soon.” she hung up and ran up the stairs, coming into the room and closing the door behind her, getting into the sheets, and laying on her side to face you, she gently took your hand.

You cried softly and held onto her hand, “They called this morning…” you sniffed, “I was his contact on his papers…” you closed your eyes and swallowed, trying to calm your breathing down.

Sarah moved closer, whispering, “I’m so sorry…” She put her other hand on your arm and gently rubbed it, trying to offer comfort.

You chuckled sadly, “I have a whole fucking funeral to plan, I don’t even know where to start!” you choked up, “He… he has no family he said, but there’s gotta be someone out there, right? He couldn’t have been all alone…”

Sarah nodded, “I’ll help you, we can search for his family on the internet. I’ll help tonight.” she smiled sadly, “Dad can help you plan the funeral… we... we will help.” she squeezed your hand, “We are here for you.”

You nodded, and let out a shaky breath, “You went down and called Dad, didn’t you?” you chuckled.

Sarah looked at your hands shyly, “Is that ok?”

You nodded and smiled, tears continuing to stream down your cheeks, “I didn’t have the energy to, I should have called him earlier but I just…”

Sarah nodded, “You couldn’t… I get it. It’s ok.” she looked at you, “Your friend just died, it’s ok not to be ok, right?”

You nodded and touched her cheek, “Right.”

She leaned in to put her head closer to yours, “Can I ask you something?”

You nodded and took your hand off her cheek, putting your hand on hers that was holding your other, “Of course…”

She shyly looked at your hands, “Was it ok that I called you mom at tryouts?”

You chuckled and smiled through tears, “Oh thank god, I thought you didn’t mean it, like it was by accident.”

She looked at you and giggled, “Of course I meant it!” she nudged you.

You smiled through tears and looked at her, “Are you wondering if you can keep calling me mom?”

Sarah looked at you and shyly looked back at your hands again, “Would that be ok?”

You nodded, “You can call me whatever you’re comfortable with sweets.” you brushed her hair back, “If you want to call me mom all the time or some of the time or here and there, I’m perfectly happy with whatever you’re ok with.” you smiled softly.

Sarah nodded and then moved her head to press against yours, keeping your hand in hers, tearing up, “Ok Mom.”

You chuckled and tears kept falling, “You chose a very convenient time to make me cry as I’m already a blubbering mess!”

She laughed softly and started to have tears fall as well, “I’ll join you!”

You touched her cheek and smiled, “Thanks for being here, I appreciate it.”

She nodded, “Can I ask what happened? To Reggie?” she sadly looked at you.

“They said his plane was hit in transport. He never made it to location.” you sighed, “It happens... I mean anything can happen over there, but I just didn’t expect it to happen, you know?”

Sarah nodded, “Was he the only one killed in action?”

You shook your head, “Pilot and 2 other medics…”

Sarah sighed and nodded, “I’m glad you’re home… I don’t know what we would have done if you had ever gotten hurt or died.” she looked at your hands, “It would have crushed Dad…”

You saw her start to disconnect so you squeezed her hand, “I’m home now, and that isn’t going to happen, yeah?”

She snapped out of it and nodded, “Right.”

You took a breath and closed your eyes, “I don’t know how I’m going to tell Terrence... or Maria… it... it's going to crush them” and you shook your head, pinching the bridge of your nose before sobbing quietly.

You could hear the front door open and close followed by Joel’s heavy steps up the stairs as he jogged up, he knocked on the door softly, “Sweetheart?”

“Come in Dad…” Sarah softly called as she moved to console you by hugging you.

Joel came into the room kneeling by the bed Sarah was on, letting you and Sarah have your space and time together. He reached over and put his hand on yours that was on Sarah’s back, offering what support he could.

You continued to sob into Sarah’s shoulder, giving yourself a headache.

Joel came around the bed and laid behind you, wrapping you in his arms as you hugged Sarah did from the front, kissing the back of your head and temple, whispering how sorry he was.

You eventually fell asleep after crying what felt like hours, curled up against them, exhausted emotionally and mentally from the news.

Joel and Sarah slipped out and headed downstairs together, Sarah looked at him, “What do we do?”

Joel looked up at her, leaning against the counter, “She just needs support.” he looked down, “I’ll call Diane in the morning and see if she can get her in for an emergency session.”

“I mean what are you going to do about… you know?” she wiggled her ring finger.

Joel didn’t even think about that right now. He didn’t even think how this put a wrench in his plans, he was just so focused on you. He sighed and nodded, “I guess it’s just not the right time.” he bit the inside of his cheek, thinking.

Sarah nodded and sighed, “Can the plan be pushed out? Maybe another week, after the funeral?”

Joel nodded, “I’ll talk to everyone tomorrow and explain what’s going on. I’m sure it can.” he smiled softly.

Sarah nodded then went to the fridge, “I’ll start some dinner, you wanna call Tommy? Check on Maria?”

Joel nodded, “Order some take out, sweat pea. Don't worry about cookin'... not on a day like this.” he put his wallet on the counter and walked away to call Tommy.

The next morning you woke up with a massive headache. Your phone alarm went off and you rolled over, snoozing it.

Ugh. 5 am never felt so gross.

Joel turned to face you and wrapped you in his arms, you had been out the rest of the night, this was the first time you’d been awake in almost 15 hours, he kissed your temple gently, “Stay…”

You swallowed, your voice hoarse, “It’s not for a run… it’s for the airport…” you said emotionless, still exhausted.

Joel perked his head up, brushing your hair back, “What do you mean sweetheart?”

You kept your gaze fixed on the ceiling, focusing on one specific bump amongst the popcorn texture above you. One that you stared out for hours yesterday, “He… his body is… I have to be there to transport him.”

“What time do we have to be there?” he kissed your cheek gently.

“We? You don’t have to come… it’ll be a lot of protocols and standing and just… it’ll be a lot.” you sat up and sighed, sitting at the edge of the bed, rolling your shoulders, feeling stiff from how long you had been in bed.

“I don’t care, mi vida, there’s no way you’re doin’ this alone…” he sat up and gently kissed your shoulder from behind you, “When do I need to be ready?”

You took a breath and looked back at him, leaning your head against his, melting against him, grateful for him and his constant support, “We need to leave the house in a half hour.”

He nodded and leaned up, kissing your forehead, “I’ll go brew us some coffee.” then got off the bed and opened the bedroom door, walking to go downstairs.

You stood up and went over to the closet, pulling out your ceremonial uniform and laying it on the bed.

Joel came up and got dressed quickly, putting on some jeans and a nice button-down, putting on some nice boots, trying to look put together and respectful. He headed back downstairs saying he’d get some to-go coffee ready while you finished getting ready.

You brushed your hair out, washed your face, and brushed your teeth then did your hair into the traditional bun before getting into the uniform, taking your time, making sure everything was respected, and done right.

You looked at yourself in the mirror, never wanting to see yourself in this uniform, this was never meant to be worn, no one was supposed to die. This was a heavy uniform to wear, one that felt too tight and too formal, not physically but mentally. You hated everything about it.

You narrowed your eyes and clenched your jaw and then stood up straight, rolling your shoulders back, putting your hands to your side, before grabbing your hat and gloves and walking downstairs.

Joel was sitting at the table when he saw you, never seeing you in the uniform. You thought aside from the circumstances, you looked beautiful.

“Hey… you ready baby?” he stood up.

You nodded and headed towards the front door, feeling numb, wanting to just get this over with.

You put your hand on the doorknob and stopped, feeling that sharp pin of anxiety starting in the back of your skull, you closed your eyes and let out a shaky breath, stretching out your neck and rolling it in a circle to get that gnawing feeling to go away.

Joel came up and set the thermos he had in his hands and gently turned you towards him, to softly pull you to hug him.

You wrapped your arms around him and took in a breath then slowly let it out, “This wasn’t supposed to happen…”

He kissed your head gently and nodded, “I know… I’m so sorry.” he gently rubbed your back, holding onto you as long as you needed.

After a few moments, you pulled back, took his hand, and took one of the thermos, “I’m ready…”

He nodded and walked with you to the truck.

The ride to the airport was about 30 minutes. He held onto your hand the whole drive and would occasionally glance at you and softly smile, telling you how much he loved you and how he’d help you later arrange what needed to be done.

You would nod but barely talk, you felt so disconnected, not truly there, it didn't feel real. This couldn't be happening. You listened to soft hum as he'd hum along to the music or watch out the window as he drove, you and your thoughts trying to escape this shit outcome.

You were told yesterday where to meet the aircraft and told Joel past a certain point he’d have to stay back. He understood and stayed with you until you would get to that point which would be a certain point on the tarmac for family's and loved ones.

Once you hit the tarmac, there was a large military transport craft parked. You walked up to a small crowd of people, loved ones who also were greeting their loved ones, and looked at Joel, “Wait for me here, I’ve got to do a few things after we transport him with some officers.” you looked down to put your gloves on.

Joel nodded and looked at you as you started putting your hat and gloves on, “Can I kiss you, or is that against protocol?” he asked softly, genuinely, wanting to be respectful of any decorum.

You looked up at him, smiling gently, and touched his cheek, “You can kiss me, you need not ever ask.”

He leaned in and kissed you softly a couple of times, pulling back a little, “I’ll be here when you’re done. Tell Reg welcome home for me.” he touched your chin and softly rubbed his thumb across your lip.

You nodded, backed away, and brushed your uniform before walking through the group of family members over to a group of higher-ranking officers in charge of this event.

Joel hung back and an older woman came up to him, “I’m sorry I couldn’t help but overhear… who are you here for if I can ask?”

Joel looked down and nodded, “Oh… my girlfriend is here to transport a friend of hers she served with, Specialist Reginald Mackey.” he sadly smiled.

She gasped softly, “Oh… thank god.” tears streamed down her face.

Joel tilted his head, confused.

“I’m his mother… he… we…” she started to sob, “We didn’t have a good relationship towards the end. They wouldn’t let me over there when I asked. Something about someone else being on the paperwork.”

Joel looked towards you and then her, “Oh… ma’am, I’m so sorry. I… my… mine served with him. They were good friends, she was on the paperwork, I believe.” he touched her hand, “I can see if she can bring you over?”

She shook her head, “No, no need. I just didn’t want him to come home alone, but she’s bringing him home. She's there for him...” she wiped her tears, “May I stand with you?”

Joel nodded and smiled, “Of course.”

She held out her hand, “Mary… Mary Mackey.” she smiled softly.

“Joel... Joel Miller…” he took her hand gently and shook it.

—

You walked up and saluted the commanding officers before they put you at ease.

You were instructed to stand and wait for his casket to come out as there were three others aboard, he was the last one. There were 25 other service men and women lined up with you. You all stood respectfully, saluting as each casket came out and was loaded into a an individual hearse.

After about 20 minutes, Reggie was announced and you and 6 other officers stepped forward, in two lines of 3, and walked into the aircraft to gather him.

You touched the top of the casket gently and whispered, “Welcome home brother…” you clenched your jaw to hold back tears and swallowed before standing straight like the rest of the group and then as one turning to the right before positioning to get ready to lift the casket.

You all as one lifted the casket draped with the flag and walked in a steady march back out of the aircraft, eyes forward, while everyone remained silent, saluting or with a hand over their heart.

Joel put his hand over his heart and let Mrs. Mackey hold onto his arm as she cried softly watching the ceremony, hand clutching her heart as her son came out of the plane.

Once he was loaded into the hearse you all turned your feet inward to face each other and slowly brought your arms up to a salute and stayed that way until another officer closed the hearse door and it drove away.

Once he was outside of your vision, you were all put at ease, everyone walked away but you felt your knees buckle, so you squatted down and touched the ground, trying to ground yourself, give yourself a moment, “He’s home… the hard part is over.” you whispered to yourself.

Joel saw you and for a moment worried you were ok, but then you stood up after a few moments, eyes distant yet focused, and shook out your hands and rolled your shoulders, something you commonly did to shake out any anxiety. He knew you just needed you were dealing with a lot on your right now, he wouldn't be surprised if you were inching towards a panic attack and needed support when leaving. He'd be there though, he was ready.

You walked over and signed some paperwork and then walked over to Reggie's commanding officer and told him that you chose to bury him in the military cemetery which he had offered you yesterday. He nodded and advised he would be transported there in 2 days, that he would call you with details for the funeral or any services you may want to do as there would be a 21-gun salute there.

You nodded and shook his hand then were handed a folded flag, with his dog tags, something the family of the fallen soldier would get when they were greeted by the casket of their loved one, however since you were carrying him, this was given to you now.

You looked down at it and closed your eyes, gripping it in your hands, cursing under your breath as tears threatened to spill.

You saluted the commanding officer with tears in your eyes then he walked away.

You sighed softly, and looked at the tags, running your fingers across them. You then put his dog tags over your head and looked down at them around your neck, you’d give these to Terrence when you saw him, they belonged to him.

You turned around and tucked the flag under your arm and began walking back to the group of people. You met eyes with Joel and he nodded at you, mouthing ‘Reggie’s mom…’ then nodded his head towards her, the closer you got.

Your eyes went wide and you rushed over, “Mrs. Mackey?”

She smiled, “You must be Sargent Y/N…” she had tears streaming down her face, “It’s so good to meet you.” she held out her hand for you to take.

You took her hand, “Ma’am I’m so sorry for your loss… I…” you brought the folded flag out from your arm and held it out, “This belongs to you…” you looked at her.

She nodded and gently took it, “T-thank you for bringing him home…” she said through tears.

You shook your head, “I had no idea you’d be here… you… I’m so sorry.” you looked at Joel, “How did you know he passed? They told me I was the only one on the paperwork.”

“Reggie had someone call me from his camp. Gave them my number and told them if he didn’t make it back to call me, said a mom should know when her kid…” she choked up, “A mom should know when her child dies.”

You teared up and nodded, then pulled her into a hug, rubbing her back.

She held onto you for dear life, sobbing into your chest. You looked up at Joel and sighed softly.

He leaned down and kissed your head.

You pulled back after she let you go, “The commander I spoke with said you were making arrangements, is that true?” she wiped her eyes with a tissue.

You nodded and put your hands in front of you respectfully, “He’s being buried in a military cemetery, they are giving him a proper burial in 2 days. I don’t want to step on your toes, so if you’d like you can plan it or you can help me, I’m fine with whatever you are ma’am.” you touched her arm softly.

She nodded, “If it’s ok with you, I’d like to help…”

You nodded, “I uhm… would you like to come over to our home? I’ve got things I need to do today for it, call some people, you could start on some of the basics, flowers, stuff like that?”

Joel came up, “Do you live here ma’am? If not, you’re welcome to our guest room.” he put his hand on the small of your back.

She nodded, “I came in from out of town. I have a hotel though.”

You shook your head, “No, you’re stayin’ with us, cancel your reservation. Reggie would never forgive me if I let you stay in a hotel alone.” you rubbed her arm.

She chuckled and nodded, “Ok if you insist.”

Joel cleared his throat, “We insist.” he smiled, rubbing your back softly, and you leaned into him.

2 days later

You had called Terrence and his mom called some other friends and family about Reggie’s passing. By the time the funeral came around, about 30 people had shown up to honor and remember him.

That morning of the service, your alarm went off at around 6 am, you rolled over and snoozed it, covering your head with a pillow and sighing.

Joel woke and chuckled at your reaction, “Not feelin’ it today?” he said with a voice low with sleep.

He turned on his side and gently ran his fingers up our bareback when you didn't answer back.

You peeked out from the pillow at him, “This sounds horrible but I can’t wait for this day to be over.”

Joel leaned his head and got under the pillow, kissing your nose, “I get it, death can be exhausting.”

You smiled softly and nodded, “Yeah, it's exhausting, I’m just ready to have things go back to normal.”

Joel kept rubbing your back, “Me too, sweetheart.”

You touched his cheek and leaned in, kissing him softly a few times, “Can we do something this weekend? I don’t know, go see a movie, go out to dinner, or just get out of the house?”

He smiled softly, nodding, “We will, already have some plans.” he winked and kissed your lips gently before sitting up and getting out of bed.

“Wait what do you mean, you already have plans?” you put the pillow off of you and sat up, smiling.

He chuckled, “Exactly what you think it means, I made arrangements and we just have to do them.” he stood up and started walking to the bathroom.

You got out of bed and followed him, “What are the ‘arrangements’..." you mimicked his southern drawl and used air quotes, "...can I know what they are?” you stood in the doorway, watching him wash his face, smiling.

He shook his head and laughed lightly, “Nope, it’s all a surprise.” he looked at you and winked.

You crossed your arms, and pouted, “You’re no fun.”

He chuckled and turned around as he dried his face, smiling at you, “How about a small hint?”

You perked up and nodded eagerly, “Deal, spill it.” you bounced up and down on the balls of your feet.

“It has to do with the messages I sent you when you were in Delta 42… when I answered your letter back.” he came over and took your chin in his grip and pulled your lips to his, making you dizzy with a slowly deep kiss.

You blushed and kissed him back, wrapping your arms loosely around his neck until he pulled back, “Good hint, I’m still clueless because that was a lot you sent me…” you pecked his lips.

He chuckled and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, mesmerized by your beauty, “Quiero ser la razón de tu felicidad.” (I want to be the reason for your happiness.)

You looked up at him confused, touching his hand on your cheek, “You already are…” you smiled, trying to find his eyes.

He smiled and found your eyes, “I know…” he gently pulled you close to his lips, saying just above a whisper, “I just… Eres mi todo…” (You are my everything)

You melted in his gaze and smiled against his lips before threading your fingers through his hair and pulling his lips to kiss yours.

He kissed you deeply, slowly, like he was taking his time.

You pushed yourself against him, pressing your chest against his, kissing him more heavily, panting, pulling him by his shirt closer to you.

He moved his hand down to your waist to pull you closer, pressing you up against the bathroom wall, then moved his hands so he was picking you up by pulling your legs up around his waist, pressing you against the wall.

You let out a moan and moved your lips down to kiss his neck, fingers combing through his hair and down his bicep.

He grinned and swallowed, “Fuck…” he groaned feeling you kiss his pulse point.

You smirked against his skin then you both jumped hearing a knock on the bedroom door.

“Terrence is here!”

You groaned and sighed, “T you’re a fucking cockblock…”

Joel chuckled and put his head against you for a moment, catching his breath, “I’m gonna have to have a word with him…” he set you down slowly and smiled down at you, eyes full of lust and love.

You smiled shyly, “Finish this later?”

He nodded and kissed you gently, “Always, mi vida…”

You kissed him back and then shouted back at Sarah, “Tell him I’ll be done in 10 minutes, please!”

“Copy that.” she said through the door and you could hear her run down the stairs.

You got ready in your uniform once again and Joel got ready in a black button-down and dress coat with some dark wash jeans.

You all got to the cemetery about an hour later. You, Terrence, and Maria all in uniform performed in ceremonies such as the 21-gun salute, and Terrence passed the flag to his mom that was taken from his casket and folded in a triangle during a special flag presentation ceremony before they lowered him down to put him to rest.

Mary asked for you all to speak, and share stories of Reggie. Maria went first, shared memories of Reggie and her playing stupid pranks on you and Terrence, how at first we swore he hated us because when we met him we laughed at his name, for which Maria had to explain the joke between her and you, earning some laughs and smiles from friends and family.

Terrence chose to go next, he shared stories of Reggie’s bravery, how he always had his head on straight while Terrance would always be the anxious one between the two of them. He shared how guilty he felt when he got to go home and felt wrong to leave him there. He cried as the last time they spoke Reggie mentioned coming to meet Terrence, come crash on his couch… plans that would never come to fruition. He called Reggie his brother from another mother, and that he’d never get over how little time they had together.

He stepped down and it felt like everyone turned to look at you.

You swallowed and took a deep breath. Joel was holding your hand and kissed it softly, which gave you what you needed to stand and walk to the podium putting your hat under your arm while you walked up to stand by the microphone.

You had written some notes and had them on a crumpled paper inside your hand. You uncrumpled it and read through it, remembering what you wanted to say.

You cleared your throat and exhaled, “Sorry, I’m not a good public speaker, so you’ll have to forgive me if I drop backward up here from pure anxiety.” you chuckled nervously and joked.

The crowd chuckled and then you looked down at the casket, now lowered into the ground, you teared up and then looked at Mrs. Mackey, “Reggie to me was the kind of person that was willing to jump through hoops of fire for you. He was kind, brave, strong, and like a little brother to me.”

She smiled and wiped away tears.

“I uh… I got into some trouble when we were deployed, got into a fight.” you looked down shyly then back up into the crowd, shrugging, “The other guy deserved it, but still... A fight is a fight. You still get a lecture in the army.”

Maria nodded, remembering, chuckling to herself. The rest of the crowd chuckled and waited for the rest of the story.

“Reggie wasn’t even there when it happened. But he vouched for me. Told our commanding officer I wouldn’t just fight someone for the hell of it.” you looked at Joel, he smirked, and you smiled, “You had to really piss me off to get what I gave that day.” you chuckled and looked at the crowd, “And that guy…” you shook your head and let out a small laugh, “He tap danced on the wrong nerve that day.” they laughed softly.

You looked down at his casket after calming your laugh down, “I still got yelled at, but I could’ve gotten a lot worse if it wasn’t for him and his loyalty.” you sighed and tsked your tongue.

“He was always there for us.” you chuckled and looked at Mrs. Mackey, Maria, and Terrence, “He was for sure the annoying little brother most of the time, pulling pranks on us, hiding our shit, pinning us against each other half the time…” you chuckled and so did everyone else.

“But he was our little brother…” you said softly, choking up, tearing up, “...and I wish with every fiber in me that I could have changed this outcome for him.” you clenched your jaw and balled up your fists, looking down at the casket, breathing becoming heavy, tears falling.

You cleared your throat and rolled your shoulders, straightening up, moving around the pulpit, and standing over his casket, “I’ll see you again little brother, but not yet.” you smiled and let a few tears fall. “Keep Z company… and raise a little hell up in heaven for me.” you knelt and took something out of your pocket, a picture of the four of you and Z that you had taken on your disposable camera, setting it on the casket and gently patting it before standing and saluting him for a few seconds then putting your hand down and taking a breath in, closing your eyes for a moment to let it out, “Roohash shaad…” (Rest in peace in Dari)

You nodded and smiled down at the casket and then returned to your seat, taking Joel’s hand and nodding, letting him know you were ok.

A few other people shared their thoughts and stories then the pastor said a prayer before they dismissed everyone to leave.

Mary came over and hugged you, “Thank you for all you did, for making this happen for my sweet boy.”

You nodded and hugged her, “Please keep in touch. I think Reggie would have wanted that, you know?”

She nodded, “I will. I will visit often too.” she looked at Joel and winked, “You take care of her, yeah?”

Joel chuckled and kissed your temple, putting his hand on your back, “I will ma’am…”

She smiled and then left to say goodbye to Maria and Terrence.

Joel kissed your temple again and pulled you in for a hug, “What do you say we order some takeout and have a movie night, hmm?”

You nodded against his chest, “You had me at ordering take out…” you chuckled pulling away as he took your hand.

He kissed it and then started to walk with you to the truck, smiling to himself, humming softly a song that played on the radio on the way there.

You looked at him and chuckled, you had no idea why he was in a good mood, but assumed it was just because this was all over and you both could get back to your routines.

You had no idea it was due to the ring he took out from under the bed every night when he got home from work to ‘change’, telling himself he couldn’t just go down to the kitchen and propose, he had a plan, and this weekend, it would happen.

Previous chapter - Next chapter

a/n: ya'll the next couple chapters ... ahhhh! what are your ideas for how he's going to propose!?

taglist: @sarahhxx03, @blahkateisdone, @sunnytuliptime, @pedroscurls, @docharleythegeekqueen @pedritosgirl2000

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callsignmayhem · 6 months ago

Text

Kisses on fingertips

A call.

One simple call from them.

That's all it took.

For you to shatter completely.

The day had started just like every other day before, with the routine you had honed down over the years to get the kids to school on time. After dropping them off, he went to work, you went back home and later ran some errands.

You were just finishing up putting the groceries away, when the call came.

Without checking the caller ID, you hit the green button, answering the call.

“Hello?”

“Am I speaking with Mrs. Seresin?”

“Yes, you are”

“I am deeply sorry to bother you, but…”

Whatever the voice on the other end of the call said, was a complete haze to you apart from the part that you should come to the base as soon as possible.

So you did.

And how you wish you hadn't.

Because nothing could have prepared you for the news you were about to get the minute you stepped in those doors.

You saw both admiral Tom Kazansky and captain Pete Mitchell standing there waiting for you in the middle of the lobby, dressed in the white uniforms, forlorn looks on their faces.

Little bit to the left were his friends, his squadron, the people who he flew with almost daily. Also dressed in their whites, having similar expressions as the two men before your eyes.

As you walked forward, you looked down to admiral Kazansky’s hands, realizing he's holding something. As soon as you see what he's holding, your eyes get blurry with unshed tears.

Both captain Mitchell and admiral Kazansky take a step towards you, as you come to a stop just meters away from them.

Captain Mitchell stops a mere meter away as admiral Kazansky comes to stand right in front of you, placing the items in your right hand.

Few tears slip down your cheeks, when you receive the confirmation for what the items are. The white cowboy hat you are holding in your hand drops down to the floor.

They are dog tags and a picture that is slightly burned from the bottom right corner.

His dog tags with his wedding ring dangling in the chain.

His sunglasses.

Your picture.

Flag on the pole outside at half-mast.

People around you dressed in uniforms.

Your legs give out under you, and you collapse down to your knees right next to the hat. Still holding the items. Tears running down your cheeks. Admiral Kazansky kneeling in front of you, letting you sob against his shoulder.

You are watching as the wings get punched into his casket, silent tears streaming down your face.

Your kids are standing next to you, your oldest Benjamin holding your middle ones, Cade's hand and your youngest Eden holding the pant leg of Benjamin.

You walk forward as soon as the last person around the casket has left.

Crouching down, you place your forehead against the smooth wood surface of the casket. The folded flag rests on your lap.

After a while you straighten up, pressing a kiss on your fingertips and placing them on the surface right next to the golden wings.

The sky is greying by the minute, a few droplets of water starting to come down from the skies above. It's as if the sky is mourning with you.

Arriving home after the funeral, you just stand in the hallway that opens up to a living room, staring down at the flag in your hands. Everything seems so dull, like all the colors got sucked out of the world.

You walk to the kitchen, behind you on the shelf is a white cowboy hat, and on the floor there is a pair of worn boots.

In the kitchen you gently place the flag down on the table.

“Mom?”

You look at your seventeen year old son, who has a sorrowful look in his eyes.

Eyes that are just like his dad's.

You look at his features, every one of them bears a resemblance to him.

Him.

You can't even get yourself to think, let alone mention his name.

Jake.

At that thought your eyes start filling with tears again, Benjamin wraps his arms around you, soon you feel two sets of smaller arms wrap around you as well.

Cade.

Eden.

The four of you just stand in the kitchen while outside your home it's a downpour of rain, the flag still folded and lying on the table behind you. One piece of you is missing.

At first it seemed so hard to get back to the routines, even with help from others.

But you knew it was what Jake would have wanted, for you to keep going. If not for your sake, then for the kid's sake.

But day after day, week after week, year after year, the heartache gets tolerable even though it never fully goes away.

Years go by in a blur, the kids are growing fast, going through all the heartbreaks when trying to find the one and only for them, the first time your kids bring girlfriends and boyfriends home, when they eventually get married and countless other memories and traditions.

You remember waiting at the hospital waiting room, with Cade and Eden and their spouses.

Footsteps echo on the floor.

“Mom”

You look up at Benjamin.

He smiles at you, offering his hand. You take it, standing up and walking with him down the corridor. Benjamin stops in front of a door, and opens it. He guides you inside, where you see Mia, Benjamin's wife lying on the bed.

Benjamin goes over to her, kisses her temple and lifts someone up from her arms.

“Mom, I'd like you to meet your grandson”

You take a careful step forward, looking down at the sleeping bundle in your son's arms. You gently trail a finger down the newborn's cheek.

“His name is Jake”

You freeze, look up at Benjamin and see his soft smile. Your eyes get watery.

Benjamin places the newborn in your arms, and as soon as he's done that, baby Jake opens his eyes.

There you see the eyes you have always loved staring back at you.

You sob a little at that.

“He's got the eyes”

“I know, mom” Benjamin places an arm around you, both of you watching down at the baby you are holding.

Over the years, you are blessed with more grandchildren, even with one great grandchild.

One day you are watching your family at the BBQ party that is being held at Benjamin's home. The strays of sun hit you in the face, making you inhale the late summer air. The wind blows some leaves that have already dropped from the trees around the yard.

You get up from the stairs you have been sitting on, and walk to Benjamin. He hears you walking towards him, and turns around.

“Everything okay, mom?”

You nod.

“Go gather you sister and brother, there's some place I'd like to visit”

Soon you are walking with them among rows of headstones, until you stop in front of the one you were looking for. The one with a small jet engraved on the right corner of the headstone, as per your request.

As the wind blows and the sun slowly is disappearing behind the horizon, you wrap the cardigan a little bit tighter around you.

You place the wild flowers down in front of the headstone, reading the engravings.

“In loving memory of our beloved:

Lt. Jake Seresin,

a father, husband and a son.”

You kiss your fingertips, placing them against the cold stone, feeling a slight warm sensation under your fingers as if the headstone recognizes you. That was the last time you visited the cemetery.

You are lying in a warm bed, surrounded by your kids.

Benjamin is by your right side, whilst Cade and Eden are by the left side.

You fondly look around the room at the people you love. You cough, and Benjamin offers you to take a sip of water from the glass, but you shake your head. You take a breath.

“I need you to… promise me one last thing”

They nod.

“After I'm gone bury me… next to your father”

“Of course, mom”

“And everything else can be found on your testament, mom, we know”

You smile at them.

“Eden, would you hand over that box from the side table?”

Eden turns and grabs a small dark wooden box with Seresin engraved in the lid.

She passes it to you, and you trace your finger across the engraved name. Pressing a small kiss on your fingertips, placing them against the lid. Your eyes shut momentarily but soon open again.

You open the box, taking whatever items are inside out and placing them on the bed.

Stack of pictures and a letter from along the way.

Dog tags with his wedding ring in the chain.

His worn sunglasses.

The necklace he gave to you on your first anniversary.

His necklace that has your and the kids' names engraved.

You lift up your necklace with shaky hands, placing it on Eden's palm, closing her hand around it. She always has adored the necklace and now it's hers.

Next you take out Jake's necklace, giving it to Cade. He has been fascinated by it since he was a small boy, so you decided it should be his.

Then you pull out the dog tags, lowering them down on Benjamin's palm.

“Mom, I can't take the tags”

“I might've worn them every day since his passing but they are yours now”

You take off your wedding ring, handing it to Benjamin.

“Put it on.. the chain with your dad's ring”

He does as told.

“Now I need you to promise me to cherish and pass down those items with the story behind them.. for future generations”

You take a small wheezy breath, grabbing a hold of the sunglasses, clutching them tight.

Your eyes start to blur.

“I love you all”

“We love you too, mom”

“Rest now”

“Tell dad we said hi”

Your eyes flutter shut as your chest stills. You have a faint smile on your lips.

Your children kept all their promises to you just like they said they would.

They buried you next to Jake.

They cherished and passed down the items you gave them.

They made sure every single generation after them knew how the story of Seresin's went.

Your eyes open, seeing everything so brightly. You look around, realizing you are at the beach behind the Hard Deck. There at the beach, as you walk closer you see Pete and Tom sitting in foldable chairs, and multiple people playing volleyball in the sand.

As you near the squadron, Tom turns his head, smiles and nudges Pete. He also turns and smiles at you, nodding towards the water line where the group of pilots are playing.

You nod at them and smile, going past them.

You stop right by the edge of the makeshift volleyball field.

One by one they stop playing, until the one person you have waited so long to see again, turns around and sees you. He drops the ball. Then you and he both move towards each other as if gravity is pulling you together. In a way it always has been and always will be doing so.

Soon you are standing face to face, looking each other straight in the eyes.

He cups your cheek, and you place your hand on top of his.

Then his lips crash against your in a fierce kiss. You pull apart, he rests his forehead against yours, both breathing heavily.

His sunglasses resting on top of your head.

“Hey”

“Hi, sweetheart”

You might have some catching up to do with all of them, but luckily you've got all the eternity for it.

Part 2

The letter

Pictures

Benjamin is 17 years old, Cade 14 years old and Eden is 6 years old when they lost their dad.

A/N: I finished writing this between 4 and 5 in the morning, so pardon me if there's any mistakes. I have to admit writing this got me crying.

If anything is unclear, just ask and I'll try my best to explain.

Had to repost cuz Tumblr was being irritating and didn't let me edit the post, only because my original post had disappeared somewhere.

Sorry for the hassle!

#top gun #top gun maverick #glen powell #pete maverick mitchell #tom iceman kazansky #top gun 1986 #jake seresin #jake seresin fanfiction #jake seresin x f!reader #jake seresin x reader #kisses on fingertips

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bitchinbarzal · 1 year ago

Text

sleeping with the devil | A Fantilli

summary: adam’s dancing with the devil after his girlfriends death

warnings: death, drunk driving, car crash, no real ending.

Adam can still remember everything that happened that night, he remembers the screaming, crying, the lights in the hospital.

Luca remembers watching through the window of the hospital room as his parents told his brother the news, him screaming in denial. He was ripping the breathing tubes from his nose and trying desperately to claw his way past his parents to get to you.

Luca remembers holding Adam every night when he’d wake up screaming from the nightmare of reliving that night over and over again.

The only time he was ever at peace was when he was asleep and still then he had to watch you die all over again, the blood dripping down your forehead, your skin so pale. He wanted to just reach out and hold you, but he couldn’t because what came next was the replay of that drunk driver smashing into the passenger side of his car, your body being thrown out the windshield.

He never thought he would go to your funeral, constantly saying he didn’t want to go. His parents and friends tried to change his mind but he wouldn’t budge.

On the morning of the funeral Luca got ready in his suit before walking into Adam’s room, to attempt to convince him.

Instead he walked in on his brother, sobbing into your hoodie.

The sobs were gut wrenching. Much like when a little kid is hurt.

His baby brother was hurt.

Adam was startled when Luca’s hand landed on his back “hey bud… it’s time to go”

Throughout the entire service Adam held his mom’s hand and listened to everyone tell stories about you.

He liked listening to them but he knew nobody in this world could tell stories that would compare to his.

You were his best friend and the stories you shared, they would make Oscar winning movies.

You would always be his star.

After the funeral your parents spotted him and immediately wanted to talk.

“Adam!”

“Oh hi, sorry I haven’t been-“

Your mom cut him off with a hug “It’s been hard for everyone but we know you’ve been struggling. We just miss you”

That night he went back to your house for the first time since the accident and had dinner with your parents. It hurt him so bad but he knew your parents needed it to heal so he put on a brave face.

The first year was weird for Adam.

When your birthday came around, he bought and wrapped a lot of gifts. They were never opened and everyone was a little concerned for him but they let him be, just happy he was ok.

He wasn’t ok.

On your anniversary, he took himself to eat at your favourite pizza place together in Ann Arbor. It was the first time he’d been in since you passed. The guy behind the counter looked at Adam sadly before saying “I’m so sorry about your girl”

He smiled softly before taking his pizza and sitting at your table. He set out a paper plate on your side and even got a bottle of the juice you liked.

“Six years we’ve been dating huh?” He mumbles, biting into the slice.

“Love You so much baby, I miss you”

As the year went on people were less worried, he began socializing more and he was becoming Adam again.

When the draft rolled around his family knew it would be hard.

Luca prayed that the projections were right and that Anaheim would take him. So he could be as far away from here as possible.

That wasn’t the case when he was drafted by Columbus. Walking onto that stage he shook everyone’s hand before looking at the camera and opening his suit jacket to show your name largely embroidered by his heart.

At home, your parents watched on wearing their Fantilli jerseys and crying when they saw his jacket.

Holding one another infront of the tv your dad mumbled “He’s the best kid”

And when he had finished all of his interviews Adam found a text on his phone from your mom

she would be so proud of you adam. Congratulations sweetheart, you’ve made us all so proud!

he replied

thanks mom! love you guys

mom. that was the first time anyone had called her mom since the accident. she held onto that text and looked at it everyday.

Adam’s parents and Luca were concerned about him moving to Columbus.

“Adam just stay in Michigan! Stay with me another year”

Adam sighed and shook his head “No, I want to go and I want to get away with a fresh start”

“But-“

“I can’t be reminded of her in everything I do anymore! I want to go out and not have to avoid eating somewhere because she’s there in my memories” he cried out.

“Adam you need to adapt at some point”

Adam’s head swings around to face his brother, angry tears lining his eyes “I’ll never be able to ‘adapt’ Luca! She’s gone! Dead! I was driving the car-“

“You didn’t kill her!” He shouted back. Part of him wanted to stop the other half knew Adam hadn’t spoken about it and that he needed to get it out.

“I was driving the car!” He screamed, standing up and looking over his big brother “I could’ve saved her!”

“Adam nothing was going to save her” he hand rested on Adam’s arm “there’s only one person to blame and it was the drunk driver in the other car”

Luca stared at Adam’s shaking shoulders as he sobbed silently before he said “The last thing I told her was ‘you’re gonna be ok’ — I lied to her”

Luca leaned forward and grabbed his brother into his hold, squeezing him tight

“It’s gonna be ok”

“I should’ve protected her”

It didn’t take long for Nick to take Adam under his wing in Columbus. It made Luca feel better even if Nick was never his captain the boys had no bad things to say about the Blankenburg boy.

Luca was just happy he’d be looked after.

Adam met Paige at a party, Nick’s birthday party. She was a friend of a friend and they hit it off really well.

Adam wasn’t looking for a relationship and he didn’t tell anybody about Paige but he was enjoying himself, finally feeling free again.

Luca noticed his brothers happier tune over the phone and even asked Nick and Kent what was going on to which they claimed to have no idea.

Adam kept Paige private for a while, hanging out and going to dinner a few times a week. She was nice and they got along really well.

She was pretty, she was gorgeous actually and Adam felt weird about his feelings. He questioned them for a while before he eventually made a move on her in his apartment.

His body was relieved of a lot of anxiety after that, like all of his pent up emotions had just disappeared. Paige felt like a safe place for Adam. She didn’t judge him or ask questions she was just there for him.

Adam didn’t keep pictures of you guys in his new apartment or really any of your stuff with him, all of it resided in his parents house. So Paige never saw you, she didn’t know about you she just though Adam was some hockey player who liked being alone.

The were seeing each other for about six months before Adam made it official, asking her to be his girlfriend.

He’d slowly started mentioning her to his family and friends. The boys immediately calling Nick and Kent for information on the girl.

Kent didn’t like her, he said there was something off but Nick told him to play nice.

Adam took Paige to Ann Arbor to see the team play one weekend and to finally introduce her to his brother and his parents who had flown in to see Luca too. The meeting was fine, as Luca had described it but they weren’t overly eager to meet Paige.

Lately, Adam seemed caught up in hockey and his girlfriend too much so to notice what was going on around him.

That’s why it came as a shock to him when his big brother called him screaming down the phone.

“You didn’t call today? You couldn’t spare five minutes?”

“What are you talking about? What-“

Luca wants to laugh “Are you serious right now? You don’t know what today is?”

Adam scrunches his brows together “No? Should I?”

“You’re fucking with me right? You’re actually kidding me”

There was silence on the phone, both ends, before Luca said “It’s ok Adam I’ll go put flowers on her grave don’t you worry. You just enjoy your little girlfriend I’ll take care of y/n”

Adam’s breath hitched before he looked down at his phone and the date, it was the anniversary of your death.

“Luca I didn’t-“

“You know what Adam? I want you to be happy, I do! But she doesn’t deserve to be forgotten”

She stumbles “I didn’t forget!”

“Oh yeah? When have you visited? Her birthday, Christmas, your anniversary… none of it. You were too busy with her” he spat.

“Hey leave Paige out of this she didn’t do anything!”

“Whatever man, I’ll see you in the off season or whatever”

Adam was hurt. He was hurt because he had forgotten this day, it was too late to call your parents now and he was hurt his brother would dismiss him like that.

He soon shook it off and acted like nothing happened when Paige came over to stay the night.

When the Blue Jackets season eventually finished, Adam had invited Paige to come to Toronto and meet his family and friends from home.

Luca wasn’t too impressed with the idea, opting to stay in Michigan for as long as he could before headed back. He had to go back near the middle of the summer, it was your birthday party.

Every year your parents threw a massive party and they continued the tradition even after your passing instead using it as a space to gather your closest friends and family to celebrate your life.

Your mom and dad had invited all the boys from Michigan as they were some of your closest friends so Luca wasn’t alone with Adam and his new girlfriend.

Adam’s mom and dad weren’t best pleased he insisted on bringing Paige to the party

“It’s a bit disrespectful, Adam!”

“Her parents want me to be happy”

“Yes but they don’t need you flaunting your new girlfriend in their faces and on her birthday party no less”

They lost that argument with Adam not caring and taking her anyway. Paige got lost in the crowds that showed up for your party anyway, your parents didn’t really notice her.

The boys did, however and they weren’t best pleased.

“Who does she think she is?! This is y/n’s birthday!”

As the night drew in and people started to leave, a lot of guests began migrating towards the house. Which is where Adam and Paige were, in the living room trying to get warm.

Paige noticed a picture of Adam on the mantle, walking up to it and holding it in her hand “Why do they have a picture of you in here?”

Adam looked at the picture, from his draft. They were so proud.

“Oh they were really proud of me in my draft, I’ve played hockey here since I was a kid”

Paige’s face scrunched up “still it’s a bit weird your neighbour having a picture of you on their mantle”

Adam frowned “Not really, their daughter was my best friend”

best friend. ouch.

“Their daughter… this is her party right?” He hummed in response “What happened to her?”

Adam gulped and froze for a moment, he hadn’t thought about that night much lately.

“She was killed in a car accident by a drunk driver, underage too when we were in Michigan. I was in the car” he explained. He noticed an immediate uncomfortable shift in Paige’s posture after he said that.

He watched her eyes scan along the mantle some more before she stopped on the last picture, it was you both on the day you moved into your dorm at Michigan.

You were beaming so much and Adam was just happy you were happy. Kitted out in your athletics kit.

“Is this her?” Paige asked, looking at the picture with a slight shake in her voice.

“Yeah that’s Y/N” he said “Are you Ok?”

Paige put down the frame and turned to Adam “I have to tell you something”

He looked worried “What’s up, you’re scaring me”

Paige fidgeted with her fingers before she said to Adam in a whisper “It was me”

“What?”

She shook her head as if she was trying to stop herself “I was the drunk driver” she pointed to the picture of you both “That’s the girl, I killed her”

Adam’s breath got stuck in his throat and he couldn’t speak, he felt like he was drowning in his own body.

It all came back to him then, your screams, the car flipping, the scratching off the road, your sobs, crying out for help and the blood on your face as you looked at him as the life slowly left your body.

“Adam I’m so sorry! I didn’t know! You’ve never said anything about her and you don’t have pictures I didn’t even know her name they just showed me a picture” she cried, desperate for him to say something.

People had started coming in after hearing the commotion

“Whats going on?”

Adam had tears running down his face as he pulled at his hair and looked at her “Paige killed y/n”

“I didn’t know!” She screamed, everyone looked a little alarmed.

Adam’s parents sprung into action and took Paige out of the house with a simple “I think we step outside”

Johnny had turned to your parents and suggested some air “hey guys, how about we head out back again”

Leaving the boys all staring at Adam’s distraught figure in the middle of the room.

The stared for a moment before Luca approached his brother and said

“Nice job protecting her Adam, I’m sure she’s so proud”

Adam sobbed even harder, trying to hard to comprehend all of this.

“I’m sorry!” He yelled out, to nobody in particular as they’d all left him alone now. He was on his knees in tears looking at the picture of you on the mantle and he whispered

“I should’ve protected you, I didn’t protect you”

#adam fantilli x reader #adam fantilli imagine #nhl imagine

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justagalwhowrites · 1 year ago

Text

Halcyon - Ch. 4: Want to Talk About It?

Joel attends your mother's funeral. A continuation of Halcyon from the prologue through Ch. 3, a modern no outbreak AU TLOU fic found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Death. Mention of suicide. Modern No Outbreak AU, No use of Y/N, Slow burn, 18+ only, Minors DNI

Length: 4.5K

A/N: Anna is vaguely described. Not mentioned in this chapter BUT Anna is adopted (this will be explicitly in the text later) and has no blood relation to Goldie.

AO3 | Main Master List | Prologue | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

November 14, 2010

“You sure we should really be here?” Tommy asked, looking over at Joel.

“Course we should be here,” Joel replied, glancing at him and drying his sweaty palm on his black jeans. “We knew ‘er, too. Wouldn’t just be here to support… we’d be here anyway is what I’m saying.”

“Right,” Tommy nodded. “OK.”

The two of them were quiet, tucked away at the back of the funeral parlor. It wasn’t too packed with people, maybe two or three dozen, who were milling around, lining up to go look at your mom’s body. Joel couldn’t bring himself to do that part of it. He’d looked at his dad as he lay cold and still and now he had a hard time picturing him alive. He didn’t want to do that again.

“She’s gonna be here, right?” Tommy whispered. “I mean… Rhode Island is far and she hasn’t been back since, right?”

“It’s her mom” Joel whispered back. “Course she’ll be here.”

He looked back over his shoulder anyway. He wasn’t nearly as confident as he sounded.

Joel hoped you’d be here. It made sense that you would be. He hadn’t seen you in years. It had been so long he’d started to forget what you sounded like. It was like one day, just after prom, you decided he wasn’t a part of your life anymore and that was that. A switch he didn’t know existed had flipped and his whole life turned upside down with it.

He almost hadn’t known your mother died. Your fucking mother, the woman who fed him dinner more times than he could count, who called him Joely, who tugged on the ends of his curls when his hair got long and told him to not be shy, to take what he wanted from her kitchen because her home was his home, too. She’d died and he almost hadn’t even heard about it. He wouldn’t be here at all if it wasn’t for a text from your sister.

Hey Joel, it’s Anna. She wouldn’t want me to tell you this but I think that’s bullshit. Our mom died a few days ago, the funeral is Sunday. Thought you might want to know. Hope you’re doing OK <;3

It sent him reeling more than anything else related to you had in so long. How could he not have known? That something so big could happen to you and he was just living his life as though things were normal? That he wasn’t helping you through it? He should be helping you through it.

But it hurt in other ways, too. It made him realize that, really, he was nothing to you. He wasn’t even your fucking Facebook friend. If something happened to you across the country, if you were in a car accident or you needed your appendix out, no one would tell him. He’d never know about it. You could die and it would be a normal day for him because he was nothing to you and no one would tell him that the most important person in the world was gone.

Before too long, people started finding their seats and Joel fought to not turn around and watch the doors, looking for you. But he still glanced back when you did come in, trailing behind a small cluster of people that looked vaguely familiar. He realized he probably met them at some family event or another, at a birthday party or BBQ because, for three years, you were only ever apart when you had to be.

And then there you were. You were wearing a black dress with black tights and black high heels and your eyes were red but your face was firm. There was a man beside you, one whose arm you clutched tight and Joel resisted the urge to glare at him. You didn’t even glance at Joel.

Anna came in behind you. She didn’t bother with the pretense of pretending not to cry, little trails of mascara running down her cheeks. But she smiled tightly at Joel and mouthed “hi” and he gave her a sad smile in return.

Joel watched as you, Anna and that fucking man settled into the front row, his arm going around your shoulders and tugging you against his side. Joel barely listened to the officiant at first, too busy focusing on you. You kept turning your head to look up at the man next to you and at one point he leaned over and kissed your temple and whispered in your ear. Joel ground his teeth.

But it was easy to pay attention when you got up to give your eulogy. You pulled your gold notebook out of your bag and carried it up to the podium. Your eyes were still red - he could see that, even from the back of the room - and your shoulders were hunched as you arranged the notebook in front of you. But you took a deep, shaky breath and looked up, back straightening and chin jutting out in defiance, jaw set tight.

“If I had to find one word to summarize my mother, it would be try,” you said. “She was made up of try, I think. She was always trying to make things better for my sister and I, always trying to build the life she wanted… I guess, in the end, trying just became too much for her…”

Your voice never wavered. It was stronger than Joel remembered but the tone and cadence were so familiar, so like home. Your eyes were red but you didn’t cry. You just stood there, fingers tight on your notebook that you only ever glanced down at, anyway.

Joel wanted to get up and hug you. You looked like you needed a hug. More than a hug. You looked like you needed someone to carry you for a while, like you needed someone to take you by the shoulders, look you in the eye and say “It’s OK. I’ll take it from here. Rest.” You needed it so much that Joel started to stand up, instinctively, when you finished your speech and headed back to your seat but the man you came in with met you near the podium, putting his arm around you and kissing the top of your head. Joel sat back down.

“She did good,” Tommy whispered as Joel stared straight ahead. For the first time, your eyes met his.

“Yeah,” Joel said, not looking away. “She did.”

After the service, there was a receiving line and Joel held Tommy back. He wondered if, maybe, he could get you alone that way. But that fucking guy was on you like glue, one of his hands on the small of your back he entire time. He was constantly directing you, constantly nudging you where he wanted you to be, adjusting you to stand how he wanted you to stand. Joel wanted to fucking punch him.

“Thank you for coming,” Anna smiled a little at him, her blue eyes lacking their usual spark. “I know it’s been a while but… well, Mom just loved you.”

Joel’s throat got tight.

“I loved her, too,” he said. “She was a great lady. Really.”

“Yeah,” Anna said, her voice wet as she looked back toward the casket. “Yeah, she was.”

Joel glanced at you, your fingers in a tight fist around the man’s shirt, your lips at his ear as he frowned a little. Anna looked back at him and followed his eyes.

“Don’t get me started,” she said, her voice low. “Mom wasn’t huge on him…”

Joel shook hands quickly with one of your aunts and then he was in front of you. He glanced over at the man and realized he recognized him. The man had to be twice your age, hair going gray and crows feet around his eyes. His chest got tight.

“Joel,” you said, one arm crossed over the front of yourself, clutching onto your opposite elbow. “Good of you to come.”

“Course,” he said. He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to shake your hand or not. What did you do with the person who was once your best friend, the person you lost your virginity to, when you hadn’t spoken in years? “Always loved your mom. She was always nicer to me than I deserved.”

You huffed at that and the man pressed a little closer to you, his hand firmly planted on your lower back. You stood up straighter before you looked toward Tommy and your face softened a little. “Good to see you Tommy. How’s school going?”

“OK,” he shrugged. “I’m passing. Missed you.”

You smiled ever so slightly.

“Missed you, too.”

“You could come visit, you know,” Tommy said.

“Tommy,” Joel hissed and he just looked up at him.

“What! She could.”

“It’s not a great time for me to be leaving school,” you said. “I’ve got classes all year and writing intensives all summer… I’m not sure when I’ll be back again.”

“Not even to see Anna?” Joel frowned.

“Anna can always come visit us,” the man at your back said. “Sorry to cut the reunion short but we should keep things moving…”

“We’re last in line,” Tommy protested.

“And the family needs to get to the reception,” the man said. “I’m sure you can share your thoughts there.”

“Right,” Joel said, looking from the man to you. “Sure we can. C’mon Tommy.”

“But…”

“Let’s go,” Joel cut him off. “Don’t want to be rude.”

Joel looked back over his shoulder to you when he made it to the doors, your head bowed and the man’s large hand at the nape of your neck.

“Guy’s an asshole,” Tommy muttered as he climbed in Joel’s truck.

“Yeah, well,” he sighed, grinding his teeth a little. “Goldie always had shit taste in men.”

Joel felt like he deserved a goddamn medal for sitting there, watching you with that fucking guy, silent at a table with your family, family made up of Anna and people he didn’t know. Because, besides Anna, they weren’t your fucking family. He was. Him and Tommy.

He kept watching for a moment to try to get you alone, some point where you were away from that man who kept fucking pawing at you and who looked like he was old enough to be your fucking father. He tried not to think about how shitty that was. To corner you at your mother’s funeral and force you to talk to him. But it was hard to really care.

The time for etiquette was long passed. He missed you. He kept thinking that, eventually, the feeling would fade. That he’d wake up in the morning and think of something besides you. That he’d stop looking for signs of you everywhere and in everything. That, eventually, some day, you wouldn’t be the first person he thought of talking to when he had a shit day or when something good happened to him. He couldn’t keep going like this, going on without the answers he should have fucking marched up to you and demanded years ago. Joel wasn’t the type to think the world owed him things but fuck, didn’t you? Didn’t you owe him something? Didn’t being inseparable things whose roots and branches had become so intertwined that one couldn’t live without the other mean that you had to at least tell him before you cut yourself away? You certainly didn’t seem to think so. He disagreed.

And then you came home with that guy, that fucking guy, the one who couldn’t possibly be good enough for you and you let him touch you and hold you and control you during what Joel knew had to be one of the worst times of your life. Did that guy even know? Did he know that your mom took you prom dress shopping and adjusted the hemline herself at the sewing machine in your living room? Did he know how you carefully removed the screen of your bedroom window to climb out of it so your mom wouldn’t hear you open the front door when you left to lay in the bed of Joel’s truck and star gaze at the park? Did he know how sad and kind your mother’s face was when she told him that you’d left town, moved to Rhode Island months earlier than planned, when he came by your house a few days after prom to demand answers?

Did you?

Eventually, you stood up and leaned down to whisper in the man’s ear and you left the room. The man watched you go and Joel waited for a moment before he followed you. The door you’d gone through led to a hall with bathrooms and an exit to the parking lot and he took a guess, hovering outside the ladies’ room door. He was right, and you nearly walked into him a minute later.

“Shit,” you said, sniffling a little. “Sorry…”

“S’OK,” he said quickly. “Thought I’d check on you. See if you wanted a drink.”

“A drink?” you raised your eyebrows at him. He had the strangest urge to trace the arch of them with his thumb.

“Yup,” he pulled his flask ever so slightly from his inside leather jacket pocket before tucking it away again. “Bullshit that the person who probably coordinated this whole thing can’t even fucking drink for it. Thought you could use one.”

“Jesus, could I ever,” you said, looking around quickly. “C’mon.”

You took his hand as though everything was normal and pulled him along behind you to the door, shoving it roughly open before stepping out into the cool November air.

“Oh shit, one sec,” you said, hovering by the door for a moment, holding it open with one hand and balancing on one foot. Joel laughed.

“What the fuck are you doin’ Goldie?”

“Making sure we don’t get locked out,” you replied, pulling your heel off and putting your shoe between the door and the frame, closing the heavy metal door delicately to make sure it stayed propped open. You limped awkwardly for a few steps before Joel just shook his head and went to you, looping his arm around your waist and half carrying you to the little partial wall that separated the restaurant from the parking lot. He set you down there and watched as you rolled and turned your ankle for a moment before stretching your foot out to a point. “Never buy heels, Joel. They’re not worth the pain.”

“Noted,” he smiled a little and pulled the flask out of his coat pocket before sitting beside you. He handed it to you first and you looked at it for a moment, smiling a little.

“This is familiar,” you said, a hint of fondness in your voice.

“Yeah but I bought the booze this time,” Joel said. You nodded slowly as you took a sip. You winced a little as it went down and handed it back to him. He looked at it for a moment, his finger tracing the neck of it. The metal shined a little, wet with you and the rum. He brought it to his lips, taking a drink. “So… how’re things?”

“You mean besides the fact that I’m here instead of working on final projects because my mom decided to slit her wrists in the bathtub?” You asked, brows raised. “Just peachy.”

“Sorry,” Joel flinched, handing you the flask again. He stuck his hands in his pockets. “That was a stupid question.”

You shrugged.

“And how are you?” You asked, pulling your arms in tight to yourself. “I know it’s… it’s been a while…”

“Well, someone I know changed their damn phone number,” Joel said, shrugging out of his coat and draping it over your shoulders. “But shit’s same as always. Or same as always for the last few years, anyway. Tommy is doing good in school right now. Got a job with some pretty steady work.”

You frowned, tugging the coat a little tighter to yourself. Joel was reminded of when you’d borrow his letterman years ago, how the sleeves swallowed your fingers because his arms were long enough that they had to special order his size. You’d always looked so fragile there, in his coat. You’d always looked so protected there, too.

“Did you already get your associates?” You took drink and handed the flask back.

“Nah,” he said, taking it. “Decided not to bother. What’s the point, just flunk out in a semester, maybe two. Figured I’d save myself a lot of grief and money and just cut to the chase, you know?”

He took a drink.

“That’s bullshit,” you said, gaping at him. “Joel, come on, it’s just two years, you can…”

“I can what?” He cut you off. “I can fuck around at community college, act like I was ever gonna amount to anything…”

“Of course you’re going to amount to something,” you interrupted him this time. “You already amount to something and…”

“I amount to something?” He asked, voice getting heated. “Really? Is that why you took off without a fuckin’ word? Just ditched me here, blocked me on fucking Facebook, changed your fuckin’ number? Because I amount to so damn much…”

“Don’t.”

“Don’t what!” He was on his feet now and you flinched at his raised voice. “Don’t talk about it? Don’t point out the fucking obvious? Don’t actually hold you accountable for your shitty actions?”

“My shitty actions?” You gaped at him before you laughed darkly. “Oh wow, that’s fucking rich coming from you…”

“Yeah, yours!” He yelled. “Because I sure as shit don’t know what the fuck I did…”

“Bullshit you don’t know what you did,” you snapped. “Come on, Joel, don’t pretend that you’re dumb. Don’t pretend that I’m dumb. We both know…”

“I don’t know shit! I don’t know a fuckin’ thing when it comes to you, Goldie! I know you left! I know your mom wouldn’t give me your number! I know you apparently never even fucking thought about me…”

“You don’t know a goddamn thing…”

“I do know that you showed up here with that fucking guy!” He pressed on. “What the fuck is that? How old is he, hm?”

“It’s not your fucking business!”

“Should be someone’s fucking business!” He snapped. “Because he has to be, what, twice your age?”

“So what if he is? I’m an adult, I can do whatever I want with whoever I want…”

“An adult,” he laughed but there was no humor in it. “Adult, you can’t even buy your own fucking booze and you’re, what, fucking some 50-year-old man? What is he, your fucking professor, that it?”

“He’s 40!” You snapped, on your feet, awkwardly off balance with your missing shoe. “And who cares how I met him, he thinks I’m smart! He wants to be around me, he looks out for me, he…”

“He’s takin’ advantage of you is what he’s fuckin’ doing!” Joel’s chest was heaving. “Been watching him control you all goddamn day! You really think he cares about you? Knows you? You’re just gonna be one of many to him, Goldie, he probably does this with every pretty girl in his damn classes…”

“Does he propose to them?” Your left hand flew in between you, palm facing you as you held it up. There was a large, solitary oval diamond on your ring finger. Joel felt sick. “I’m not just some girl to him, I’m not just another lay in a long line of lays. He loves me, he respects me and I love him and I don’t need your fucking judgement, Joel.”

“Doll?” Joel’s head whipped around to see that fucking guy poking his head out of the door you’d propped open with your missing shoe. “Everything OK?”

“Fine,” you smiled a little and shrugged out of Joel’s coat, handing it back to him. “Just needed some air.”

“Folks are looking for you,” he said, looking over at Joel for a moment. “Should get back.”

“Right,” you said, taking a deep breath for a moment before looking back at Joel. “Good to catch up, I guess. You really should think about getting your associates at least. It’d do you good.”

You didn’t wait for him to respond, limping awkwardly for the door before delicately putting your foot into the black pump as your fucking fiance held onto you.

Joel gave himself a few minutes to calm down before going back inside and finding Tommy.

He didn’t stay.

Instead, he dropped Tommy at his mom’s house and headed to the bar near his apartment that he liked best. He played there sometimes, just him and his voice and his guitar, knowing full well that there’d never be a record label scout in the crowd but it felt good pretending.

It was still early, the bar pretty dead, and he took a seat off to the side before ordering a Shiner. He sat there, grinding his teeth and trying not to think of you with him. It wasn’t even that he got to be with you all the time instead of Joel. If you didn’t want Joel, fine, he wasn’t going to force himself on you but fuck, couldn’t you see what was right in front of you? That you deserved better than that?

“Hey.”

Joel almost jumped at the sound of someone next to him. He turned to find a woman there, about the same age as him. She was beautiful, with dark skin and curly hair and eyes it would be very easy to get lost in if he could get lost in anything right then.

“Hey,” he replied, looking back toward the bar and taking another sip of his beer.

“Mind if I sit here?” She asked.

Joel shrugged.

“Thanks,” she said, climbing up on the stool next to him. “Don’t really feel like dealing with the attention I get when I sit by myself but I desperately needed a drink…”

She leaned over the bar and flagged down the bartender before ordering a whiskey on the rocks.

“That good a day?” Joel asked after a moment.

“Something like that,” she sighed. Jimmy, the bartender, set her drink in front of her and she took a sip before sighing. “Looks like about the same for you.”

“Yup,” he said.

“Want to talk about it?” She asked after a moment.

“Not really,” he replied. She nodded. “You?”

“No,” she said. “I’m Ashley, by the way.”

“Joel.”

“Good to meet you, Joel,” she smiled a little.

He sat there with her for a while. He liked her well enough, he supposed. She was nice and lightly funny in a way that didn’t cut him deep. But when she smiled, she smiled like you. Slow and easy at first and then spreading wide like your whole self was cracking open with it. Fuck, he’d always loved making you smile like that. He missed making you smile like that.

So when he finished his beer and didn’t want to be away from that smile, not yet, he asked if she wanted to come back to his place.

“Sure,” she smiled like you. “That’d be nice.”

They skipped the pretense of it, not bothering to feel each other up on the couch or make a pot of coffee that would sit untouched until morning. Instead, they went straight to his bedroom, pawing at each other’s clothes and pulling their bodies free of their confines as quickly as possible.

Joel kissed her deep and hard and desperate and she pressed her soft, plush body against his and it felt good, getting lost in another person like this. It seemed like the only time in his life that he wasn’t stuck living at least halfway in some other reality where things had turned out different was when he was inside someone else. He sought it out like an addict, always searching for that next high, anything that would put him far away from the low he lived in. But he was careful. Always used a condom, always got at least some feel for the woman he was fucking first so he felt like he could trust her.

But he was reckless with Ashley. He needed to feel something else too bad to put much thought into any of it. He reached for his nightstand and fumbled in the top drawer, pulling the last condom from the box and making a mental note to buy more when he got paid next. He tore it with his teeth and realized too late that he’d caught more than just the foil pack when he did.

“Fuck,” he panted, already naked on top of her. “Do you have…”

“No,” she said, all breathless and needy below him. “But it’s OK. I’m on the pill and I’m clean. I’m OK with it if you are.”

He looked down at her in the darkness, the moonlight casting shadows over her face. But then she smiled at him, slow at first then all at once. Just like you.

“Really,” she said. “It’s fine.”

“Fuck it,” he said, lining himself up with her entrance, the soft, wet heat of her pulling him in.

“That’s the idea,” she smiled and then gasped as he pushed into her, chasing that high with her body below him.

He fucked into her until she came and then she pushed him on his back, fucking herself down on him and Joel looked up at her and got the sense that she was in this for the same reasons he was. That this had very little to do with him.

“Gonna come,” he warned, his hands on her waist. “Should pull out…”

“Don’t,” she panted. “About to come again, fuck, just… just let me…”

Her hands spread wide on his chest and she rode him harder, faster before pushing him in deep and coming around him, the pulsing of her walls setting off his orgasm, only aware enough to care for half a second before it hit that he shouldn’t be coming inside a total fucking stranger.

She collapsed on top of him and he held her for a moment, not able to shake the feeling that he’d just made a monumental mistake. It reminded him of the morning after prom, the morning after the last time he came inside someone without protection. How afraid he’d been that he’d ruined things for you, that he’d gotten you pregnant and destroyed your life. But he hadn’t. At least, not that he knew of. He just lost you instead.

Ashley left not long after, just a quick “Thanks, Joel. That was fun.” after he gave her a glass of water. They swapped phone numbers but, in the moment, it seemed like pretense. This was what you did after a one night stand to pretend like it wasn’t a one night stand. It felt better if you could lie to yourself and say that every random fuck was just the start of a relationship that didn’t pan out. He didn’t plan to call her. He didn’t expect to hear from her again.

He was wrong.

Next Chapter

A/N: We all know what happened there with Ashley, right?

OK, cool.

Hope you all enjoyed this little glimpse at the last time Joel and Goldie saw each other before they reunited at the same bar where Joel picked up Sarah's mom 12 years earlier! These two, they kill me, I swear.

Thanks so much for reading the menace that is high school best friend!Joel. I'm in love with him, I fear. I hope you are, too.

Love you!

#fanfic #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x oc #halcyon

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morganbritton132 · 2 years ago

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I remember a while ago Steve wasn’t letting go of hope for his Mom showing up because he said she’s always late. Does he hit a point after that where he starts to admit maybe she isn’t coming? How does Eddie handle it?

@mcneen asked: Was there ever any further discussion between Steve and Eddie when Steve’s Mom didn’t show up, and Steve was like “oh she’s going to be late, she’s always been late”? I love love this series and check for more updates every day, thank you so much for writing it!

I’m going to kill two birds with one stone here since these two are asking for similar things

—

He always knew that she wasn’t coming.

He has known it every time he’s extended an olive branch just to watch it wilt and rot, and he knows that his friends and family think that he’s in denial about it. He knows that they have worriedly whispered conversations about him, but they don’t get it.

Yeah, it would be less heartbreaking to just give up but it wouldn’t be easier.

The Buckley’s are amazing parents that still send care packages to their daughter and call her every day for a month leading up to her birthday. Wayne took in his nephew when he didn’t have to and stood in defense of him against an entire town. Joyce – Jesus, Joyce Byers went to hell and back for her son. Hopper, Claudia, Sue, Karen… they’re all amazing parents, and you know what?

His mom was amazing once too.

And he knows. He knows. He knows. He knows how untrue that statement really is. He’s been in therapy long enough to know that he had a bad childhood and his parents were neglectful, but he cannot rectify that with the little boy inside him that loves his mom to pieces.

In the same way that he will always be sixteen years old and scared of the dead girl in his pool, he will always be small, waiting by the door for a mother that always eventually came home. Though, he knows.

He knows that seasons change and old injuries never heal quite right, and it never really mattered if his mother came home because she was always leaving but… But she was never outright cruel.

His father was a mean man that demanded perfection and belittled anything less than that. He was a unhappy man that fostered an atmosphere so hostile that his only son barely dared to breathe in his presence, and his mom. Well, it wasn’t her fault that she didn’t know how to be a mother.

But she was there. Sometimes as the silent observer, sometimes disinterested, but always the one to say, “Enough.”

“Enough,” she said after Barb’s disappearance, after the phone call from the police, after the lecture that turned physical. She stood between them with her hand pressed against her father’s chest and said, “That’s enough. Steven, go to your room.”

“Enough,” she said after the final rejection letter, after the job at his dad’s company was rescinded, after he was told to get a job or get out. “Enough, James. What is all this yelling going to do? It will not get him into college.”

“Enough,” she said after Steve stood his ground and took back nothing when he told them that Eddie was not just a friend, that he loved him and for the first time ever, it felt like someone loved him back. After the fighting, and the yelling, and being kicked out, she finally uttered, “Enough.”

About insurance.

His father stripped him line by line of everything he has always known, but insurance was where his mother drew the line. They all new that he would never be able to afford his medication without it and, “God forbid, he have a seizure and get another kid killed, Jay.”

The last conversation Steve had with his mother was at his father’s funeral. He said she looked well given the circumstances and she said that he should really do something about all that gray hair.

So, no. He’s not expecting her to show up. He never really is, but he wants it. He wants it so bad and it all kinda comes crashing down around him one evening after Eddie casually mentions that Wayne called earlier, “He said you’re getting better at speaking on camera.”

“What?”

Eddie explains that Wayne caught Steve’s interview about his YouTube math tutorials going viral. Steve asks how a man living in Florida manages to watch a local news broadcast from Illinois, and Eddie says that he looked it up online. Steve asks, “Why would he do that?”

“Because he’s proud of you,” Eddie says simply.

Something just cracks and the next thing either of them knows, Steve is crying. It’s kinda funny how wide Eddie’s eyes go, but Steve can’t even laugh about it because he feels like he’s going to drown inside himself.

It takes time and a lot of coaxing for Steve to get to a point where he tell Eddie that he’s sad. He just doesn’t understand what he’s supposed to do to make her want to see him. He doesn’t know what he did that was so wrong that she can’t forgive him and why – “Why can’t she just love me?”

Eddie tells him firmly, “Stevie, baby. I want you to listen very carefully to me, okay? I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life, okay?”

Steve nods.

“You did nothing wrong,” He says, and Steve just – he can’t believe it. He can’t believe that because then there’s nothing he can do to fix it and he – “Tell me this, Steve. Tell me what Erica Sinclair – Lady Applejack herself. Tell me what she has to do to make you consider cutting contact with her? What’s the least she’d have to do? Think about it an give me an answer, sweetheart.”

Steve things about it and eventually settles on, “Open the Upside Down on purpose.”

“Have you even opened a portal to a hell dimension on purpose then, babe?”

“Ed-“

“No, I want an answer,” Eddie says. “Have you ever purposely ripped a hole in the space-time continuum to an alternate reality?”

“No.”

“You ever do something worse than that?”

“I- no? Eddie-“

“Then it sounds like the problem is with your mom and not you,” He answers. “It sounds like she needs to get over her own fucking issues, and I know. I know that fucking sucks, Steve, but you cannot spend the rest of your life blaming yourself for her unwillingness to grow as a person.”

Eddie wipes the tears from his face and kiss the tip of his nose, and Steve admits, “I’m still sad.”

“I know, baby,” Eddie tells him. “That’s okay.”

Steve doesn’t know how much time lingers between them in silence, just that he’s tired the way he always is after he cries a lot. He’s about to tell him that he’s going to go to bed when Eddie states, “Joyce still lives in Hawkins, right? I’m gonna call her and see if she’ll beat your mom up.”

#this is rambly and I don’t even know if it makes sense #I do know that Joyce Byers would fight Steve’s mom on his behalf #also I went with Erica because I think Dustin is more like a little brother to Steve and he would see Erica as more of his kid #eddie munson tiktok saga #steve harrington #eddie munson

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munsonsreputation · 1 year ago

Text

Soon You'll Get Better

Chapter Three: Neon Kitchen, Bright Sky

↢ chapter two | series masterlist | chapter four ↣

summary: Max can never seem to catch a break and things are no different when Billy's dad comes back into the picture. When everything takes a sudden turn and the one person who was supposed to have her back fails her, you and Steve don't hesitate to step in.

word count: [16.7k]

: ̗̀➛ pairings: big-brother!steve x max & big-sister!reader x max

: ̗̀➛ romantic pairing: steve harrington x fem-college-student!reader

: ̗̀➛ warnings: angst, physical altercation, mentions of slapping, cursing, billy's abusive dad, mentions of death (billy), bruises, and mentions of absent parents (max & steve)

“Get the fuck out!”

Her shouts echoed against the walls of the trailer, resounding off the metal as she pointed at the door and stood face to face with the man she didn’t want to see. He snarled at her, face practically red as he turned to her mother who stood off to the side, not daring to get in between them like she should’ve been doing in the first place.

“Are you going to let her speak to me that way?” He asked ridiculously knowing that she didn’t have a backbone, and when it came to him, she would ultimately betray her own daughter.

The thumb she had been biting down on dropped from her mouth, shaking her head vigorously. She turned to her daughter and looked at her with wide, pleading eyes.

“Maxine, he’s staying. End of discussion.”

Max rolled her eyes, glaring just as harshly at her mother for this bullshit that she was putting her through. The last thing she needed was to see her former stepfather right before her eyes, claiming he was back in their lives all of the sudden. The same one who abandoned her and her mother after Billy died and couldn’t even be man enough to stay for his funeral.

What possessed her mother to think that Max was ever going to let this slide was beyond comprehensible. Maybe it was some sort of mid-life crisis she was going through or desperation, but over her dead body would she allow this man to live under the same roof as her and her mother after everything that had happened in the past.

Max clenched her fists to her sides, reminding herself that she wasn’t going to get physical no matter how angry she was. The most important thing that she needed to do was try to stay somewhat composed and get it through her mother’s head that this wasn’t going to happen.

“No, he isn’t! Did you forget everything he put us through? What about what he did to Billy? All those years of abuse and you’re letting him back in!” She protested, unclenching one of her hands to point brutally at the man who towered over her.

Her mother wasn’t a stranger to the abuse Billy’s father had inflicted on his son. Verbally, physically, and psychologically — he was horrible to him, the same way that Billy had continued the cycle and was horrible to Max.

She looked down guiltily, shaking her head as if she was trying to believe her own lie, “He—He’s changed Max…you don’t know how hard it was for him to lose his son—”

“And I lost my brother! I watched him die with my own eyes, so what about me?”

Max didn’t mean to get emotional so quickly, but it felt like this was all something that was building up from last week’s events that were just as heavy as this. Even more so, she wished she had spent the night at you and Steve’s apartment, taking you both up on that movie night you had suggested, but instead she picked to stay home for once and try to spend more time with her mom.

Just for the night to turn into this bullshit.

Billy’s dad swatted at her pointed hand, slamming it back down to her side where she clenched her fist, wondering if this was a free pass for her to plant it towards his jaw — but she stayed calm, ignoring the stinging feeling on her skin.

“You’re the child and we’re the adults, you obey us!” He roared, causing Max to flinch slightly, yet she knew this game he was playing.

Threatening — the same thing he used to do to Billy.

But if there was one thing she learned from her late brother, it was that sometimes the best thing to do was strike back…with words of course. Because while his father usually always started it, Billy was the one to finish it.

“You’re not my fucking father and I don’t have to obey shit you say.”

She didn’t mean to look so smug after she said that. Max was actually supposed to be putting on that signature glare, but she couldn’t help it. Watching the sorry excuse of a man’s face drop before her and the vein in his neck nearly about to combust over the harsh truth she had spat right at him.

SLAP!

But the palm that connected with her cheek surely replaced the smugness with shock. Tears instantly pricking at her eyes as her hands clutched at the skin that prickled with a hundred nerves burning beneath the surface.

Her mother gasped, but not daring to scold the man for his actions, too frightened to do so. Instead, trying to grab at Max’s wrists to pull them away from her cheek in order to assess the damage that had been done, but that wasn’t what Max wanted of her.

She wanted her mother to scream.

To yell.

Fight back.

Tell him to get the fuck out of her home.

Call the cops.

Put him in jail.

Then hold her in her arms and apologize.

But she didn’t.

Max nudged her mother’s hands away, blinking wildly, and the tears rolled down her skin.

“It’s me or him.”

The ultimatum she laid before her mother should’ve been an easy one to answer. Obviously her blood, the girl she had given birth to and raised all by herself seemingly fine before she met Billy’s dad.

But the only thing in the eerily quiet trailer was now silence.

She could see her mother’s hesitation through the blur of salty puddles in her eyes. The eyes that darted between her daughter and her ex-husband’s, as if he was worth more than her even after she was the one that had stuck by her mother’s side and held her up even when she couldn’t even keep herself together.

All of this for a man.

Max swallowed the lump in her throat, disappointingly shaking her head as she brushed past her mom, heading down the narrow hallway to her bedroom, slamming and locking the door shut. There was no way in hell she was going to spend the rest of the night or the upcoming days with him in her presence.

She wasn’t going to before and she sure wasn’t going to now after he had just put his hands on her. Easily, she could’ve reached for the phone that laid on her bedside table, dialing El and asking for her father to come down to the trailer park to arrest the son of a bitch, but the first thing on her mind was getting out.

And she knew where she was going.

Stuffing a drawer full of clothes into her duffle bag, it was enough to last her a few days before she would need to borrow some, but it would do for the meantime. The excess space was filled with her childhood stuffed animal: Bubbles the Dino and the rest of her tapes and Walkman that would get her through.

She zipped up the oversized jacket that once belonged to Billy, pulling the hood over her head, hoping this was enough to keep her warm for the journey. She walked out of her bedroom back into the living room where he was still berating her mother as she sat on the couch with her head in her hands not knowing what to say or do.

Max didn’t pay them any mind, heading straight to the front door so she could make her exit before anyone tried to stop her. The creaking of the hinges prompted their attention, but she was already down the front porch steps before they could move.

“Maxine, you’re not going anywhere!” Her mom hollered, frozen in the doorway with the man right behind her.

Max rolled her eyes once more, hands tightening on her bike handles as she turned her head and looked towards the one person who was supposed to choose her all the time.

“You can both go to hell.”

With that, she ascended on the night, leaving everything that she thought was supposed to be her home behind her. The tears she had been holding back to avoid humiliation now falling out of her orbs and rolling against her cheeks. Her feet pedaled faster as each second went by, hoping to get to her destination before it was too late.

Your body twitched at the sound of knocking, eyes slowly blinking to unblur them from the sleep that overcame you suddenly. The movie that you and Steve abandoned still playing through the television while your boyfriend slept soundly beside you with Ollie cuddled to his chest.

“Steve,” you yawned, stretching your arms out and nudging his shin with your foot.

He moved slightly at the contact, groaning out without opening his eyes. Another set of knocks sounded through the front door and this time you were sure it wasn’t the movie playing tricks. Your heart raced instantaneously, not knowing what was real or not.

“Steve, someone’s at the door.” You hissed sharply, letting your arms fall to his chest where you shook him firmly.

His face scrunched up, one eye opening to see you hovering above him looking back at the door, “Baby, it’s just the movie—”

Another set of knocks followed, this time accompanied by a small voice just loud enough to pierce through the wood of the door.

“Are you guys awake?”

Neither you nor Steve could mistake her voice. Instantly worried, you didn’t hesitate to jump up from the couch, startling Ollie who jolted up from his slumber and raced towards the front door where you were already unlocking the latch.

Steve threw off the blankets, blindly shutting off the tv and slapped on the light switch, brightening up the living room with the yellow fluorescence.

You pulled the door open, Steve right beside you as you both were greeted by the anxiety inducing sight of Max all cried out with her bags weighing her shoulders down.

Her cheeks were a bright crimson, which you would assume was from the cold of the night, however her bloodshot eyes told a different story that it was a combination of the weather and crying. Her lips looked frostbitten, almost chapped as the soft teetering of her teeth rang in the wind.

“Hey, it’s okay…get in, c’mon.” Steve ushered, reaching out and grabbing her wrist gently as you opened the door wider and wrapped your arms across her shoulders where you could feel her shivering.

She instantly dropped her bags, letting them rest on the floors as she collapsed onto the couch. Her elbows going to rest on her knees as she covering her face with her hands.

You were next to her in an instant with Steve reaching over to grab the stray blanket, draping it over her body as he sat on the other side. His hands squeezed her shoulders over the thick fleece in order to try to warm her up quickly, hoping she wouldn’t catch a cold.

You caught his eyes, quietly voicing your concern, as he nodded swiftly and looked back down at her. Soft sniffles coming from behind her hands where she was trying to hide it.

Not that Max ever liked crying in front of both of you, but she never tried to conceal it like she had been doing now. It all seemed so odd and out of character for her as she knew you and Steve would always be all ears in a heartbeat and listen to whatever she had to say, but not tonight.

“Max, honey, tell us what’s going on.”

Your voice was on the verge of pleading, not knowing how much longer you go could without knowing what had her this upset that she had to bike all the way here.

“J—just some stuff a-at home.” Her voice gave way.

Stuff at home could mean many things and you both knew that Max and her mother weren’t necessarily on the same page considering how their relationship had faltered with her mom prioritizing work more than raising her daughter.

Steve gulped, rubbing his hands over her shoulders warmly. “You can talk to us, bug. Could’ve called, and I would have come over and gotten you… it’s dark out and—”

She pulled her hands away from her face, swiping her fingers along her cheeks harshly before looking up at the two of you and nodding, understanding your concerns.

“Billy’s dad was over… he came back.” She said dryly, moving her eyes to her lap not knowing how you both would receive it after so long with him gone.

The silence was telling. Clearly the two of you were shocked seeing as though Billy’s dad, Neil, left before his son’s funeral procession, leaving it all up to Max’s mom who was devastated and had to deal with two losses she wasn’t anticipating.

“H-he’s back?” You stuttered, swallowing back your distaste as you kept your focus on the girl.

“He showed up while I was at arcade and my mom let him in and n-now she’s saying that he’s gonna stay with us and I—I just…I couldn’t….I w-won’t.”

And like that, her chest rose nimbly, tears beginning to well in her eyes once again before she could even try to piece together her broken words that already told a story of their own. Hunching over, her face found solace behind her hands again and the cries rattled the walls of the apartment and broke the hearts in your chests.

Steve leaned closer, guiding her into him as support. “Bug, take a deep breath…in and out, you got it. Everything’s alright, we’re right here.”

His hand rubbed her back gently as you cooed more words of comfort. The two of you working together to try to ground her and make her feel as safe as possible. Neither of you took it personally when her cries didn’t die down and only got heavier, a kind of sadness that you knew she was feeling deeply and needed to feel instead of trying to fight back.

If your hearts were just broken by the scene of her so frantic, you couldn’t begin to imagine what she was feeling. Her breathing only got more ragged, struggling to catch it with her mind racing with the flashbacks.

Steve noticed the signs before Max could even fathom them, rising up from the spot next to her, he hurriedly charged towards the kitchen for a glass of cold water and a warm rag before he was back at her side in an instant.

“Shhh…s’okay, let’s get you a sip of water yeah?” His fingers wrapped gently around her wrists, bringing her hands away from her face, as he showed her the glass.

She sniffled roughly, nodding her head as she took the cup from him — the water that had been beading around the surface meeting her hot hands zapped her nerves, bringing her back as she gulped it down. The warm rag rested on the back of her neck calming her down a bit as the hiccuped cries began to shallow out while the seconds passed.

She had nothing to be afraid of when you two were here right beside her. You both had seen her at her worst and even then neither of you left her side. It was going to be no different now or ever, even when she was unsure of it all. She had you both and that was what mattered most to her.

You took the empty glass away, placing it on the coffee table, “You wanna talk about it some more? Or we can talk in the morning if you—”

“He hit me. J—just slapped me once, but still…”

She dropped it like glass, letting it shatter without trying to cushion its fall because there was no way of doing so. The truth was all she had left in her and the sting on her cheek was a biting reminder of what he did and most importantly what she didn’t deserve.

The room was quiet, only Max’s sporadic sniffles and the whirling of the ceiling fan above you filled the heart-stopping silence. So many things spun through your heads, questions that Steve wanted to ask, and answers that you desperately wanted, but all you could muster to say was—

“I’m sorry.” You exhaled at a loss for words, skeptically reaching for her hand as she nodded and slotted hers in yours giving you the permission.

She squeezed yours securely as if she was trying to reassure you, like you were the one who needed the strength as you sat there and broke internally, trying to stay strong when you knew you were moments away from breaking down but that wouldn’t be fair to her — not right now.

Steve pulled his brows together, confusion splaying his features despite the anger brewing inside of him.

“What did your mom do?”

He knew her mother wouldn’t let anything happen like this slide, sure she had taken the hits from Billy’s father herself and watched helplessly when Billy became the punching bag, but she couldn’t have just sat around and watched him do the same to Max.

“Nothing.” Max said quietly, nearly hushed as she did, too ashamed to say it out loud because that would mean that her mom became the enabler of the behavior she swore she’d never tolerate.

The silence was even louder then. More questions wanting to be asked, on the tips of your tongues just pleading to be babbled out, yet you both could tell that now wasn’t the time.

Max was clearly traumatized, put through something incredibly heartbreaking yet was sitting right before you as stoic as ever — not feeling anything inside because she’d been so numb to the feeling of sadness and disappointment for a while now.

You swallowed the lump in your throat to keep from crying though your voice still cracked.

“Y-you’ve had a night. Why don’t you take a hot shower and take our bed tonight? Ollie can cuddle with you, yeah? He’s missed you so much.”

“Please.” she said, nodding at you with a sullen face.

You nodded, standing up and reaching out for her, “C’mon, let’s get you some clean clothes.”

You wrapped your arms across her shoulders, guiding her along to your bedroom in hopes that a goodnight’s sleep would bring her a dream to forget about the real life nightmare.

Steve ran a rough hand up and down his face, sighing heavily as his chest ripped out a quiet sob not knowing how something like this could happen. He’d done everything to protect her to the best of his ability and the one place that should have been her safest, her home, was the place she had been hurt and the one where he wasn’t at to shield her from it.

He tore his hands away when he heard the bedroom door shut softly, followed by your hushed cries that made its way closer to him. He stood and wrapped you in his cages, letting you cry every angry and heartbroken tear you had out.

“H-How could she let that happen?” You tried to keep your sobs down, letting them die against his clothed chest to prevent Max from hearing it, but you couldn’t help but to feel so helpless and frustrated.

Steve could only hold you, cooing away your anguish and wiping the tears away because there was no answer he could give you. Everything in his soul wanted to tell you what he knew and give you all the answers in order to piece it all together, but there was nothing left to piece.

The harsh reality was that something terrible had happened to Max, and no one tried to stop it.

“Everything is gonna be okay,” He told you, holding your face in his hands as he thumbed away the remnants of tears. “She has us and we’re gonna stick by her side and try to make this better.”

It was the only thing in Steve’s soul that he knew right then to be true. You both were always going to be there for her and if it took months maybe even years to right this situation, then you’d both be there every step of the way, no doubt about it.

“I know.”

His lips pressed in a tight line, giving you a firm nod, making sure that you were alright before he spoke, “I gotta go for a little, okay?”

You stared at him confusingly, not knowing where he would be off to at this hour. “Where?”

“Clear my head.” He said it plainly eyes dead set on yours.

You read between the obvious lines, knowing exactly where he was going. There was no use in trying to stop him because you knew he had his mind set on the very thought of making sure things were done right by Max, no matter what it took.

He was her protector and in many ways he would do anything for her — even kill if he had to.

You grabbed at his hand, squeezing it in a stern yet tender manner, “Promise you won’t do anything stupid? Max needs you, you know that.”

To be quite honest, he feels that he needs her more than she does him. Steve didn’t know what he’d do with himself if Max had suffered worse tonight. The slap itself left a bitter taste in Steve’s mouth, but if Max had shown up battered and bruised, he’d be sure that a death wish would be granted tonight.

Despite his anger and the things that he could do to make him pay, there was a way to get it done, and he wanted it done the right way so that Max wouldn’t need to suffer more than she already did.

He cradled the back of your head, pulling you into a hug, nodding his head against the top of yours and placing a kiss there.

“I swear, just… just make sure she gets some sleep, and you, too. I’ll be back in a bit.”

You locked up as he gave you one last look through the screen door, mouthing, “I love you,” before you shut the wooden door and he was jogging down the steps towards the car park.

The second he slammed the door shut, the shouting began as instantly as the salty tears he’d been holding back poured from his eyes. This wasn’t about him and the last thing he wanted was for Max to hear and worry about his own wellbeing when she was supposed to put herself first.

“Son of a bitch!”

He cursed, beating his palms against the steering wheel, breathing hard as he cried, so heated and disheartened at the world because why did it have to be her?

Why couldn’t the universe give it to him?

He could take the anger, he could take the hits, he could take it all and deal with it if it meant that Max got to finally go a day or two without worrying when the next breakdown or anxiety attack was going to occur.

She had already gone through so much and she deserved for it to be over by now.

“She’s okay… she’s okay, c’mon Steven.” He roughly wiped at his face, sucking in deep breaths, talking himself through it.

He started the ignition, his foot pressed firmly on the pedal as he made his way to the trailer park, his mind echoing the faces of you and her — the people he needed to make it back home to safe and sound.

It was a scene, Hopper police car parked out front of the trailer with its driver’s door swung wide open and the vehicle still running, headlights flashing brightly. The neighbors who should have been asleep were wide awake, gathered outside their homes, and rightfully so when there was a ruckus going on.

“Where is he?” Steve demanded loudly.

He didn't even bother to take the keys out of the ignition, placing the car in park behind the police car and hopping out to get his hands on the suspect.

Across the Mayfield trailer lived Eddie and his uncle Wayne, the both of them taking notice of Steve’s presence, aware of how close he and Max were and how he must have known something that the entire park didn’t.

“Fucking shit…” The metal head cursed, throwing his cigarette the ground and calling out to his friend, “Harrington! C’mon man, let the chief handle it!”

Eddie's voice was nothing to him. Steve instead made a beeline for the front door of Max’s trailer, bursting through it, catching everyone off guard. Her mother looked as though she had seen a ghost, Billy’s dad was confused with the intrusion, and Hopper knew that something was about to go down from the death stare Steve was wearing.

The only thing Steve heard in his mind was the voice telling him to get him.

“You son of a bitch!”

Lurching across where Hopper stood, Steve threw a fist in the air over towards the disgrace that sitting on the couch acting holier than thou beside a mother who failed her child.

He hoped it connected, spreading pain across his jaw for payback, yet the arms of Hopper and his friend Eddie encase his effort, hauling him back with all their might.

“What the hell, kid? Are you out of your mind?!” Hop shouted.

The flimsy notepad and pen dropped to the ground, and he hastily grabbed ahold of the boy whose fist was millimeters away from connecting to Neil’s jaw.

“Steve, that’s enough! C’mon, relax!” Eddie attempted to deescalate the situation, knowing it wouldn’t do Max or you any good if Steve left there in handcuffs.

“Did you tell him, huh?” Steve spat, still struggling in the grips, glaring at the two on the couch.

Neil sat up, pointing a finger at him.

“Listen, I don’t know who the hell you think you are, but you better get—”

“He hit Max.” Steve declared, completely stopping the struggle and moving his eyes towards Hop who stared at him confused, tight grip loosening only so that he could move and look back at the man.

“That true?” He asked, raised brow taking in a sharp breath.

Neil scoffed, turning to look at her mother, who sat emotionless, neither confirming nor denying the accusation, but she was just as guilty as him.

“Chief, I have no idea who this boy is… we called because our daughter is missing.”

He tried to lie, looking over at her mom with the most sincere and worried look that would’ve been convincing had Steve not seen right through it.

The audacity that the man had to call Max his daughter when he was barely even a father to Billy? It only made Steve’s blood boil even hotter, the anger dissipating into something uglier that dared to do more than just sock the son of a bitch in the jaw, but to make sure he never saw another waking day.

“She’s not your daughter, and she isn’t missing. She showed up at my doorstep crying her eyes out after she biked miles to come and tell me and my girlfriend that you put your hands on her and you did nothing about it.”

His eyes skimmed from the man to the woman, who guiltily broke into tears, covering her face knowing that the truth had been unveiled. Steve would have had more remorse for her if she at least defended her daughter and tried to do something to stop it. But knowing that Max stood in that very spot in the trailer almost an hour ago left with no one to help her made his fuse blow short.

The cries of the woman nearly set Neil off, turning back to her with a hardened look on his face like he was silently threating her to shut up before he gave her something to really cry about. Yet with the presence of the other three in the trailer and the neighbors that began growing curious with the shouts — he caught himself whipping his head back to the men, staring indifferently.

They could hear a hairpin drop with how eerily quiet the trailer became after Steve’s admission. Eddie cursed under his breath, closing his eyes as he got filled in on what he missed. Hopper swallowed so thickly, not knowing if he was going to put Neil into cuffs or give him a taste of his own medicine first.

The chief knew something wasn’t adding up when he got the frantic call from her mother. Sure, Max was a rebel at times, but even then, the chief knew that the girl wouldn’t just up and leave in the middle of the night for no good reason.

His daughter was her best friend, and they told each other everything, the good, the bad, and the ugly — granted he never liked to stick his nose in anyone business, but El had always voiced her worries for Max and that stuck with him, especially now.

And Hopper was a father himself, a true and present one. It just didn’t add up that Neil had bailed when his son died and now that he had returned, it just so happened that Max had run away.

Neil spoke lowly eyes shooting daggers through Steve, “You ain’t got any proof,” he started before turning his sights to the one wearing the badge.

“And even if it was, don’t you ought to agree, chief? Children who give their parents lip should be disciplined?”

Hopper and Eddie tightened their holds, feeling the small inch that Steve had moved, ready to lurch once again, but he stayed glued to the floor, knowing neither of them would be letting go.

“Is that why you hightailed it after Billy died? You lost your punching bag, so you decided to leave only to come back and try to make Max your next?” Steve seethed, not letting the fire die out so quickly.

“Shut your damn mouth!"

The man stood, pointing a sharp finger at him, but Hop pushed a hand out, creating distance between the two.

Steve scoffed a sarcastic laugh, eyes squinting pointedly. “Or what? You’re gonna hit me too? You’re a fucking deadbeat disgrace of a father who should’ve been the one in the ground, not your son.”

He knew what he was doing, granted it wasn’t the original thing he had planned to do, but if Steve was right about the kind of man Neil was, it would only be a few more seconds until he would strike.

“Don’t talk about my son,” Neil warned, stepping closer and ignoring the hand and demands that Hop gave him to step back towards the couch.

Steve jutted forward just an inch, smirking because he knew what exactly he was going to say next.

“So I can’t talk about him, but you could beat him to a pulp?”

The pang isn’t as nearly bad as it could’ve been seeing as though Hopper had tackled the man to the floor the second his fist grazed his cheek.

The entire trailer shook with the tussle happening on the ground, cursing flying off the walls as Hopper held his hands behind his back and pressed his cheek roughly to the ground.

Eddie stumbled back, arms remaining wrapped around his friend, wringing his face forward to check for damage. “You good, man?”

“Fine.” He replied, running his tongue over the inside of his cheek, only a slight sting that would probably become a little bruised by morning.

“Shut up, Neil. You’re under arrest for assault.” Hop grunted, clicking on the metal cuffs as tightly as possible.

Even as victorious as it should have felt to see him getting what he rightfully deserved, Steve didn’t feel an ounce of victory knowing that Max had gone through what she went through tonight. At the end, something terrible had happened and now it was going to be about her working through it.

Eddie pulled his friend out of the trailer, fresh air being breathed in followed by the gasps of the onlookers who didn’t know what to make out of all of it. Making their way to his car for some privacy, Steve leaned against the door, rubbing at his face while Eddie stood in front of him, arms crossed not knowing what to say.

“H-how is she?” He dared to ask, wondering if it was too touchy of a subject or not.

Steve looked up, frowning with a shake of his head. “Not so great. Did you hear anything before she left?”

Eddie shrugged, trying to remember anything that stood out, but the trailer park was used to fights and yelling but never to this magnitude. If anything, everyone around there avoided calling the cops as much as possible.

“Just a few shouts, but nothing too clear. Her mom started knocking on every trailer, asking if we saw where she went and before you know it Hop was here.” Eddie replied.

Steve nodded still trying to piece together everything. Both of their eyes trailed back to the trailer, as Hopper read aloud the Miranda rights, walking the cuffed man to the police car.

“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law.” He spoke before throwing him into the backseat, slamming the door to finally silence the hissy fit Neil was throwing.

The man was obviously exhausted. The last thing he wanted to do after he had already clocked out for the day was to drive all the way to the trailer park for some runaway. But when he heard that it was Maxine missing, he couldn’t stay at home knowing his daughter’s best friend was out there, probably scared and alone — the same way he found El.

It hit too close to home, and he was going to do everything he could to get her back home safely.

“She’s still at yours?” Hop called out, walking over to Steve with his notepad out for some info.

Steve nodded, backing off his car to look at his watch. “She should be asleep now, but yeah, she’s got to ours almost an hour ago by bike.”

Hop grunted out a disapproving curse, jotting everything down for the report. He clicked the pen closed, shoving it in his pocked before pointing up at Steve.

“Good. I want you to keep her at yours and I’ll stop by in the morning to ask some questions, alright?”

There was a sort of silent understanding between them both, one that even Eddie could read despite the missing words. They all knew how close Max was to you and Steve, and if she was going to be anywhere tonight, or maybe for a while, it was going to be with you both.

“What about her?” Steve pointed his chin at her mom, sitting on the steps still crying to herself. Hop took a deep breath, shaking his head.

“She’s gonna get an earful right about now, but you should probably go before then.” He advised, knowing that it would be best if Steve weren’t around despite his understandable anger.

All of the mean names and insults that spun in Steve's head and dared to leave his mouth but never did. Honestly, the sight of her crying alone was hopefully the wake up call that she needed to be a better mother, a present one that would pick her before anyone else, even kill for her if she needed to.

“You hurt her you know,” Steve declared out loud, knowing it was the least he could say for Max’s behalf.

Her face hidden behind her hands not knowing what to do with herself. She pulled them away, staring at him guiltily as she sobbed some more. But he didn’t have anything else to say to her and even if he did, he was sure the only words that would leave his mouth would be fueled with anger and disgust.

Eddie garnered his attention, patting the hood of his car gently.

“Go on man, it’s getting late.”

As a friend, Eddie cared a lot about you both. He even had a special place in his heart for the redhead who sometimes fed the strays with him when she was bored at home. It wasn’t often, but it was enough for conversations to begin where Max bragged about having Steve wrapped around her finger, ready to fight anyone who got in her way.

Steve and Max had an undeniable sibling sort of bond that tied them together — everyone could see it.

Max grew up with a step-brother who was dog-shit nothing, and Steve practically raised himself once he turned thirteen. It was clear that the both of them were fated together, a kind of chosen family that not even blood could touch.

“Tomorrow, okay?” Hopper said once more, patting him on the back and ushering him to get in the car.

Steve nodded, offering a kind handshake to both men before he got into his car, and took one last look — all the neighbors heading back into their homes after Hop waved them off, and Eddie wielding another goodbye before he jogged back to his trailer.

The drive home was a stark contrast, no more tears shed or shouts leaving his mouth. Just pure silence as his blood simmered down and his mind thought of you and Max — and of course, Ollie. His little family that he would vow to protect no matter what.

He parked the car, locking it and jogging up the short flight of stairs towards the apartment door. He dug the keys out of his pocket, quietly opening it, hoping to not wake anyone up. But of course, Ollie was already at the door waiting as Steve smiled, bending down to pet him as he shut the door behind him.

The floor lamp was left on, illuminating your sleeping figure on the couch with two layers of blankets pulled over your body. He thanked all the gods in the universe that you were asleep, knowing it wouldn’t do you any good if you had stayed up waiting even if it was out of love.

You knew that Steve would handle things and keep his promise. He always did.

He shrugged his shoes off, propping them on the rack before rounding the hallway towards your shared bedroom where the door was left open. Stopping in the doorway, he let out a sigh of relief, glad that Max was also asleep and safe. All the while Ollie hopped up on the bed, snuggling into her side for the night.

There were a lot of things that Steve was unsure of, so many questions still desperately wanting to be answered, but he knew that whatever was going to happen next was going to be in the best interest of Max.

No more of her feeling like she was second place or her own mother’s second choice. He was going to do everything in his power to give her the life she deserved — full of love and safety.

Heading back to the living room, he lifted the blankets up slowly, squeezing in beside you, doing his best not to wake you up. But it was nearly impossible as you stirred slightly, peeking your eyes open just enough to decipher his figure through the darkness.

“W-was everything okay?” You croaked softly, wrapping your arms around his midsection and pulling him closer to you.

“Yeah," he nodded, kissing your temple as he settled his body into the cushions. “Hop was already there when I arrived and he’s gonna stop by in the morning.”

“Where are you hurt?” You sought, already knowing that Steve was going to try to hide it from you for your own sake if you didn’t ask yourself.

He gulped, turning his jaw to show you where he was hit. “Just grazed me a bit…I’m gonna be fine.” He assured you as your fingertips skimmed over the area, trying to feel for a forming bump.

“Okay,” You took a deep breath nodding as your hand fell away from his face, “Let’s get some sleep…we’ll talk more in the morning.”

There wasn’t possibly anything more that you could’ve asked nor did you want any of the full details of what Steve had done to get things handled. He knew it too — that sometimes ignorance when it came to this sort of situation was bliss to you.

Your focus was on Max, and as long as Steve was safe and sound back in your arms, there was no need to worry about him. Right now Max was the person you needed to be thought of the most — and neither you nor Steve were going to stop doing so.

Max woke early the next morning, rubbing sleep and dried tears from her eyes as she was aware of the sun beating down past the curtains and the voices talking softly down the hall meaning you and Steve were already up.

She tossed around the duvet for a few minutes before mustering the strength to throw them off and let her feet hit the floorboards, taking her to the kitchen.

“Morning,” she croaked weakly, wincing at the pain in her cheek where her fingertips had slid against the skin carelessly.

You and Steve looked over your shoulders. Her sleepy figure taking a seat at the kitchen table and resting her face in her hands. Clicking off the burner, you both quickly gave her your attention.

“Hey bug,” Steve said quietly, reaching over for a clean glass, filling it up with water before he approached, sliding it over to her.

“How’re you feeling?” You sought, taking a seat beside her and smiling gently as she laid her head on your shoulder.

“A bit better. It’s the best sleep I’ve gotten in a while.” She admitted, with a weak laugh, happy that she didn’t have to endure a night of a loud TV playing or her drunk mother whining about the cable cutting out.

But she’d be lying if she said she was out like a light after she got out of the shower. Sleep didn’t come to her so easily, playing back the memory of what had unfolded and knowing that Steve wasn’t home. She didn’t have to peek out of the living room to know it, but she could feel it in her bones that he had left.

“What happened to you?” Max asked him. Her gut already knowing the answer to her own question, yet she just wanted to see what he’d say.

Steve shook his head, tapping his cheek, “It’s nothing, just a little bruise. I took care of it.”

She couldn’t be upset with him, even if she wanted to. The energy in her body was completed depleted and the last thing she wanted was to act as if she didn’t need the help. Steve was protective of her and she knew whatever he did to “take care of it” was coming out of the goodness of his heart.

“Thanks,” She pursed her lips into a tight line, tilting her head at him to which he nodded.

You stroked the hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ears as she turned her eyes up towards you.

“Hopper is gonna come over and get some statements about the situation. He said it’s gonna be easy peasy.”

“Will you guys be able to stay in the room?” She crossed her fingers, hoping that she wouldn’t have to endure it by herself.

“Of course,” Steve nodded assuringly, rubbing her arm up and down, “He might bring some other people from the department, but they’ll be in and out before you know it, I promise.”

“Okay,” she breathed, relieved that it wouldn’t be so bad with you both there.

Max had only spoken to the cops one other time in her life — obviously talking to Hopper casually didn’t count. But after the fire at StarCourt, she and her friends were all questioned by law enforcement, even the FBI. They showed her pictures of the damage and asked about Billy and the details of his death.

She went home that day feeling numb as everyone else, not knowing if she’d ever be the same, and to know one’s surprise, she wasn’t. A few days later, her mom had planned out the funeral with the help of Karen and Joyce who tried their very best to pick up the pieces while her mom struggled to deal with the loss of her stepson and the sudden departure of her husband.

Max would never forget that week. So much chaos, heartache, and guilt that would only continue to follow her wherever she went, no matter how hard she tried to get back to normal, it just wasn’t possible, not with the emotional abuse of life that she had endured.

She tried not to think about it so much, knowing that Hopper was gonna make sure no lines were crossed. If anything, the questions would go straight to the point that way it wouldn’t force her to relive every single detail of the night.

The three of you ate breakfast together, her and Steve occasionally feeding Ollie bits of scrambled eggs while you weren’t looking, lightly laughing to themselves as you went on about something that you wanted to do with the kitchen.

After you cleared your plates, she suggested she did dishes, but you and Steve waved her off, telling her to relax and watch some television or read some magazines before Hop arrived.

A little after eight, there was a knock on the door, a firm and loud one indicating that it was most definitely the Chief on the other side. Max switched off the TV, getting up to join you and Steve at the front door, greeting him warmly.

“Hey kid,” Hopper greeted, widening his arms as she grinned and walked into his side, hugging him — hugs from Hop weren’t typical, but she knew it was his dad side coming out and comforting her.

“Hey, Hop.” She patted his back before stepping away and letting you and Steve greet him.

You peeked back out the door to see if any other person from the department would be joining, “Just you?”

He hummed out an ‘mhm’, removing his hat and taking a seat on the couch before pulling out the same notepad and pen from last night.

“Didn’t wanna overwhelm her with too many people 'round. I know it’s a touchy subject, still fresh and all.” Hopper spoke thoughtfully, eyes darting over to Max who was very relieved as she plopped down on the opposite side of the couch.

“Thanks.” Steve nodded, going to sit beside her.

The pen clicked, and Hop jutted his chin out towards the kid, silently asking if she was ready or if she still needed a few minutes to prepare herself to speak about it. She nodded quickly, wanting to rip the bandaid off and get it over with.

“Where were you before you got back home?” He began.

“I was at the arcade with Dustin and Mike. I biked there at 6 p.m., left at 8:30 p.m. and got home at about 9ish.”

He jotted everything down as she went, knowing that while the details weren’t about the scenario that took place, he needed to know everything that had happened before and after.

“And when you got home what happened then?” He proceeded, looking up from the notepad.

Now the hard part, getting into the details that she wanted to bury in the back of her mind and forget. She knew that Hopper was here doing his job and the last thing he wanted was for her to revisit last night, but in order to make sure things were done correctly, he had to get some insight.

You patted her knee encouragingly, while Steve murmured kind words, “you’ve got this,” and “it’s gonna be over soon.”

“I—I noticed a car out front, but it didn’t look familiar, so I didn’t think anything of it. Thought that maybe mom had gotten a ride home from a coworker and they were inside talking, or that maybe one of the neighbors had a guest and they just needed parking.” She explained simply.

“And when you walked in?”

“Neil was there sitting on the couch and my mom was making dinner in the kitchen. There were a few empty beer cans lying around, but they could’ve been my moms, or his…I d-don’t really know, but they were there.”

“Okay,” Hop nodded, pen moving quickly against the paper, occasionally looking up to give the girl a warm look, telling her she was doing great so far.

“How did things escalate?”

“I told him to get the fuck out and that he wasn’t welcomed in our home.” She said bluntly not caring about trying to lay it down easy.

“How did he take that?”

“Not so well,” She shifted, sitting up and swallowing thickly, “for some reason, my mom wanted him to stay, and I kept going on about horrible he treated us—how he treated Billy, and he didn’t like that I was talking back.”

“And it’s from my understanding that he hit you?”

Max nodded, “He slapped me across the cheek,” She turned her face, showing Hopper the side that was hit, though the red hand-mark had waned through the night, “Just once, but it was pretty hard.”

“M’sorry that happened, kid.” Hopper shook his head, huffing out a deep breath as he took it down.

“I gave my mom an ultimatum… him or me, but she didn’t say anything, so I knew—I knew I had to go and leave.” Her voice died with a whisper, hating the fact that repeating the words out loud was just as hurtful as seeing her mom do it to her face.

You and Steve could tell that it was starting to get heavier for Max. The mere thought of retelling what she had gone through was like reliving it again. Steve reached for her hand, giving it three encouraging squeezes.

“S’okay, we’re right here bug, not leaving okay?” You whispered, wrapping your arms over her shoulder, letting her lean it toward you.

“And you biked all the way here?”

She nodded, watching as Hopper mentally did the math of the times, knowing she didn’t bother to check it once she left. “So would you say you left Forrest Hills at about 9:30 and got here at almost 10?”

“Maybe 10:30,” she clarified, “I got tired halfway and stopped for a second to catch my breath.”

“And when you got here?”

“I knocked on the door, and they answered and let me in.” Max spoke gesturing to you both.

Hopper nodded, turning his attention to you and Steve now.

“What was she like?” He asked looking between you both.

You swallowed, going first. “Shaken up, cold obviously, but most sad and shaken.”

“She gets um, panic attacks sometimes?” Steve looked over at Max apologetically, but she nodded, letting him know it was okay to go on.

“S-she said it was just some stuff at home, and it kinda triggered one, so she got her a glass of cold water and warm rag to help calm her down.”

“What happened after that?”

“I told them what happened…about the slap, I mean.” She clarified with the tilt of her head as Hop nodded and jotted it down.

“Got it.”

“A-are we done, now?” She furrowed her brows, shifting a bit in her seat just enough to catch the notepad that was filled with his writing, not even room left in the margins.

Hopper flipped the pad over, clicking his pen shut as he nodded. “Yeah, no more talking about it. Got everything I need to keep him behind bars.”

She let out a breath of relief, sinking into your side as you smiled down at her, pressing a kiss to the side of her head lovingly. You hated that she had to go through this, but you knew it was the process to make sure everything was handled properly and Neil wouldn’t be able to get out easily.

“I’m assuming you’re not wanting to go back?” Hopper proposed, smiling a bit at Max’s comfortability that was visible now that the hard part was over.

Max nodded sternly, looking back at him. “Not if I don’t have to.”

“You guys okay with letting her stay here for a while?” Hop asked you both.

Without hesitation, you and Steve nodded. That wasn’t even up for debate. Your door would always be open for Max no matter what.

“Then it’s best you go back over there, let Max pick up a few things and try to get her mom to sign this.” He reached into his pocket, slipping out a folded piece of paper that he handed over.

Steve grabbed it, unfolding it to read the contents as you and Max leaned over to do the same.

“What is this?” Steve shook his head confused.

“It’s to have you and Steve become Max’s legal guardians. Her mom is obviously still going to be her parent and I doubt she’d sign away her rights, but this is mainly to protect Max. To make sure that she has people she can go to when she doesn’t feel safe at home, and things to get messy with the court and stuff like that.”

“So, we just get her to sign this and then Max can stay with us?” You questioned.

“For as long as I want?” Max added with an excited glint in her voice causing Hop to push out a laugh.

“Obviously, I’d encourage that your mom tries to make things right with you eventually, but I can understand that you don’t want to be near her right now. So yeah, if she signs it, you can stay here as long as you want.”

Max perked up at the thought, sitting up straighter and looking at you and Steve with hopeful eyes — it was as if she was brought back to life for a moment just at the idea of getting to stay with you and Steve.

You smiled softly, rubbing her back, “Why don’t you go get ready and we’ll head out to get this done, okay?”

“Okay!”

As the bedroom door closed, Hopper turned to you both wearing an apprehensive expression, sighing deeply and rubbing his hands together.

“It isn’t going to be easy.” Hopper spoke softly, not wanting Max to hear, “She’s gonna be a little hesitant to sign it, but I gave her a little spiel about it last night.”

“How’d she take it?” Steve wondered, scratching the back of his neck.

“Telling a mother that she isn’t fit to raise her child and that her child was going to be better off in the hands of two early twenty-year-olds?” His forehead creased as he lifted his brows, shaking his head, “She was pissed.”

You rolled your eyes, tsking because she had done this to herself and you had no remorse for her, at least not after what she had done to Max.

“Well, she should’ve thought twice before letting an abuser back into her and her daughter’s home and letting that same man hit her kid.” You retorted sharply.

Hop nodding sympathetically, understanding your indignation.

“I know you’re upset, but you’ve gotta try to make her understand that way Max is put first.”’

Steve rubbed your knee gently, doing his best to calm you down knowing that while you were visibly upset at the entire situation, you both had to see it through for Max’s sake.

“We hear you.” He spoke, giving Hop a grateful look for the time and energy he was taking out of his day to help you both with the process.

“The kids are worried about her…” He revealed with a sigh, “They basically stayed up all night and grilled me when I got back home.”

Hopper didn’t mean to overstep his place and tell El and Will about it before Max had the chance to, but the second he received the call, the only thing he could do was burst through their bedroom door and ask when they had seen her last.

Safe to say that once they were awoken with the news that their friend had runway, they couldn’t bring themselves back to sleep — pacing the living room restlessly as Jonathan and Joyce did their best to soothe them while Hop had drove down to the trailer park.

“Do you think they could by a little later? They just want to check up on her and give her a hug.” Hopper proposed, since it was the one thing El and Will had made him promise he would do for them.

“That’s sweet of them.” You smiled with a nod, “After we head out, I’ll ask Max and have her call them up in advance.”

“Great.”

Hopper left after saying goodbye to you all, wishing you luck on getting the paperwork signed and reminding you and Steve that you guys could give him a call anytime if you needed anything.

The last place Max wanted to go was back to the trailer park, but she knew in her heart that avoiding it forever wasn’t something that she could do considering that she still loved her mom, but right then, she just couldn’t stand to be around her after everything.

You three agreed that you would do most of the talking in hopes of getting the signature on the forms while Max headed inside to pack her stuff. Max had nothing to say to her mother, nor did she have to even utter a work to her — she owed her nothing.

The only thing keeping Max’s hopes up was getting to finally pick up somewhere else, somewhere safer where she knew you and Steve would never put her in danger and give her the home that she was always longing to have.

Her blood started rushing quicker as Steve turned into the park, driving up to the trailer and placing the car in park. She closed her eyes, leaning head back against the seat, taking a few deep breaths attempting to prepare herself to face her mom.

“Hey,” Steve looked back, tapping on the console to grab her attention, “It’s gonna be okay. We’ll be in and out as quick as we can be.”

“You don’t have to say anything at all, just go in there and grab whatever you need, alright?” You added, twisting your body to face her, grabbing her hand gently.

She took a final deep breath, nodding as she glanced out the window, “Let’s get this over with.”

Steve jogged up the steps, knocking firmly on the metal before heading back down with you and Max. It felt like forever for her, hearing her mom’s voice call out from the inside and footsteps moving across the floors, but it was only seconds after the creaky door swung open.

A look of relief washed over her mother’s face, hands resting over her heart as she walked towards her daughter.

“Maxine! Oh honey, I was so—”

Your hand came out, blocking her from getting any closer than she already was, putting distance between her and Max.

“She’s here to get a few things, then she’s leaving.” You said sternly, locking eyes with her keeping your gaze hard.

Her mom looked between you and Steve, eyes wide as she swayed her head puzzled.

“L-leaving? To where?”

“Ours. She’s gonna be staying with us for a while.” You told her, not missing the way the confusion instantly spread to denial.

Max took the opportunity to push her way in, brushing past her mom through the door and making a beeline for her room. She shut and locked the door, quickly moving and grabbing bags to stuff full of the things while you and Steve waited outside.

Max’s mom shook her head, eyes pleading to you and Steve, “You can’t take her away from me. She’s my daughter. Please.”

You didn’t even look affected by her begging, still keeping your composure with your arms moving across your chest.

“We’re not taking her away. She’s picking us, and we’re choosing her. The same way you should have last night.”

Steve had never seen you be so cold as you were being in that moment. It was totally out of your character to act out that way, but he knew this was just as hard for you to do. You weren’t doing this to punish her mom.

You were acting this way because Max needed someone who wasn’t going to just give up on her and let her fend for herself. She had done enough of that already, and with you and Steve there was no need for her to do it anymore.

“Please, you have to know that I didn’t mean for him to hit her.” She reasoned, clasping her hands together like a magical prayer was going to change your view.

“But you did know how violent he could get, and you still let him in. You put your life and Max’s in danger. For what?” You scoffed, shaking your head.

“He said that things were going to be different.” She whispered, furrowing her brows trying to get you to understand where she was coming from.

“And you really fell for it? After all of this time, you would think that you would know better.”

“We could be an actual family.” She said, pointing into the trailer where Max was gesturing to you both that it could finally be a home with a mom and dad waiting for her.

That ticked you off beyond everything she had pervious said. You couldn’t keep your composure any longer, tightening your fists to your sides, doing everything to keep the anger at bay and remember what you and Steve were here for.

“Just stop it!” You yelled louder than you had anticipated, prompting Steve to lay a calming hand on your shoulder, murmuring out for you to take it easy.

“Max doesn’t need anything more than a mother. Someone who is going to put her and her needs first. Not some delusional idea of a family that never existed in the first place.” You retorted sharply, bursting the bubble around that stupid dream of hers.

“That’s not true—”

You pointed your finger at her, nearly seething at that point.

"You dragged her into this town, and you left her to fend for herself when Billy treated her like crap and you did it again when Neil did the same thing. As much as it hurts you to admit, you know you’re not fit for the role. At least not right now.”

You didn’t mean to be so harsh, but it was what she needed to hear and she didn’t even bother to defend herself. Shrinking back, you could see the way her eyes washed over with a sheen of tears, jaw quivering slightly as you went on without missing a beat.

“Do you even know anything about your daughter at all? Do you know that Steve and I are her emergency contacts? He had to drive down there last week for an incident that you should have been there to handle, but you weren’t.” You explained to her, trying to keep your voice low for Max’s sake.

“You’re barely around, and on the rare occasion that you are, you don’t even try to be apart of her life, or even try to scratch the surface of everything she’s been hiding because she wants to protect you.”

You had gotten worked up by then; the anger floating away and instead replaced with pure disappointment for the mere fact that you and Steve even had to be here in the first place. Had she done her job as a mother, none of this would have happened, and she wouldn’t be standing here getting an earful from you right then.

“But you’re her mom.” You swallowed, shaking your head at her sobs leaving her mouth.

“You’re the one who’s supposed to be protecting her, and you failed at that.” You said, letting your voice die, watching as she broke down even more at those words.

You felt terrible for making her cry despite knowing she deserved it. You weren’t an evil person; you didn’t gain anything by making her feel bad about the way she parented, but every single thing you had said played a role in how awful thing had turned out for Max.

Her daughter, a girl going through the most pivotal developmental years of her life, was protecting her own mother who was neglecting her. She could have easily picked up and left long ago, even before Billy died, but she didn’t. She stuck around and beared the weight of everything else meanwhile she was the one suffering most.

“I’m her m-mom…she only has one mom, and that’s me.” She croaked, pointing to herself while the tears ran down her face.

“So if I were you, start acting like it and get your shit together so you can be the one she trusts again. The last thing she needs is forcing herself to live with her only mom who shattered her heart.”

You took a shaky breath, reaching behind you to retrieve the papers that Steve was holding onto. Passing them over to her, you watched as she looked over them, seemingly having no objections any longer.

“Y-you promise she’ll come back home?”

You and Steve looked at each other, neither nodding nor shaking your heads before you finally mustered the strength to look at her again.

“Prove she should first.”

Before you knew it her signature was printed on the pages, the three of you standing awkwardly outside listening for the bustle of footsteps and drawers shutting before finally the door whipped open. Max wobbled as she made her way down the short stairs, keeping her eyes on you and Steve.

“She sign it?” She finally spoke, watching as you both smiled and nodded.

Steve stepped forward, taking the bags from her arms and going to put them into the trunk of his car as you stayed near the porch with Max and her mom.

“Max, I’m sorry.” Her mom sniffled, going to reach out to her before quickly pulling her hands back to her chest understanding that she didn’t want to be touched.

Max looked over her shoulder, staring almost emotionless as she muttered, “I hope you are.”

“I—I’m gonna change, I promise…I’ll be better for you.”

They didn’t share a hug or a kiss on the cheek goodbye, Max simply opted for nod not wanting to keep her hopes too high when it came to her mom. You three loaded back into the car, watching from the rearview as her mom waved goodbye while you all set off back to the apartment.

You met her eyes in the mirror, heart warming at the small smile that splayed over her face, leaving the park without looking back.

“Why don’t we have a day with El and Will, huh? We can go shopping for your new room.” You suggested cheerfully.

A short gasp left her mouth, a little confused and surprised. “My own room?”

Steve chuckled nodding as he glanced back at her for a second. “You’re gonna be living with us for a while, so yeah, you’re own room. We’re gonna turn her study into a bedroom for you.”

“Thank you, thank you thank you!” She bubbled, unbuckling her belt as she reached forward and draped her arms over your shoulders as you and Steve laughed, urging her to buckle back up.

“Give El and Will a call when we get home and then we’ll swing by to pick them up, okay?”

It surprised her just as much as it did you, how upbeat she was despite the events that had unfolded less than 24 hours ago. Perhaps it was just her running on the high of actually getting to stay with you and Steve, but you had a feeling that it was the genuine relief she felt knowing that she’d get to come home to a safe space every day from now on.

Steve had given you the keys to his car, steering you and Max out of the apartment right after you had dropped off all her belongings and she had phoned her friends. The second you made it to the Hopper-Byers residence, El and Will were already waiting on the porch, racing towards the passenger side to greet their Max with the biggest hug in the world.

Joyce even came out, pulling Max into a sweet hug, murmuring even sweeter words that a mother would give her child. A little sliver of your conscious felt guilty that you were depriving Max of that mother-daughter connection that she always wanted, something every girl craves to have.

“Do you want to tag along?” Max extended the invitation, looking back into the car where you nodded with a smile, patting the empty passenger seat that you would hope Joyce would occupy.

And alas, she did, which was a great excuse for you and her to talk about adult things while the kids helped Max pick out stuff for her bedroom. They ran off to the knick-knack section of the thrift store, hoping to find some decor, while you and Joyce sorted through the hangers of curtains trying to find something that would suit her style.

She nudged with her elbow, causing you to looking over at her as a small smile took over her features before she whispered softly, “You and Steve are doing the right thing.”

You inhaled deeply, giving her a shaky laugh as you exhaled. “You think so? I’m honestly a little scared.” You admitted, hoping she wouldn’t think you were second guessing it because you weren’t.

There was just a lingering worry living in the back of your head, wondering if you could actually do it. Without a doubt, you knew that Steve could. He practically handled all six children by himself at one point in time, but you were still new to it. You were always there for all of them, but Max’s situation meant not just being there, but being present and ready to be at her side at any moment.

You couldn’t stomach the thought of her bottling up her feelings and hiding away in her bedroom while you went on unaware of it in the next room over. You didn’t even know what you’d do with yourself if she came home in tears not wanting to talk about what happened before shutting the door in your face.

There were so many things you weren’t prepared for and that was what made you the most scared: the thought of not knowing and it ending up hurting Max more than she already had.

Joyce had been in your shoes a few years earlier, taking in El, a child she didn’t birth, but felt immensely protective over. Though her circumstances were different from Max’s, there were more similarities in the fact that all they really needed was a safe space with people who loved them for who they were.

She reached out, giving you back a comforting rub while you shifted to face her completely.

“They say people are never really ready to be parents and it’s the same way for you guys, but you and Steve are the perfect fit for her.” She said softly, watching as you took in her words with a nod, continuing to listen for what advice she had left to graciously give you.

“She trusts you enough to tell you about everything in her life without being scared that she’ll be in trouble. She chooses you guys because you choose her. I know it’s not an ideal situation, but sometimes things happen for a reason…for the better.”

It was a motto that Joyce Byers lived by, the fact that things happened for a reason and even if it wasn’t the way things were envisioned, it was always for the better. She would have never thought that she would be a single mom of two kids, leaving behind Lenny in order to give her two boys a better shot at living a life without the risk around. But she also would have never thought she’d find love again and adopt a girl like El, who completed her life in so many ways.

Their families meshed together like one without even skipping a beat. It just felt right even after all those years of going through it without each other. When they were finally found on another, it was like the missing puzzle piece finally being put back in its place—a kind of harmony that was difficult to replicate.

You saw it covering her face, the certainty and confidence she had in you to do it.

“I needed that.” You closed your eyes, wrapping her up in a tight hug. “Thank you so much.”

“I’m here for you all, no matter what. We all are.” She reminded you, rubbing comforting circles over your back.

She smiled where you couldn't see, catching Max from afar as she watched on with a grateful look, giving Joyce a thumbs up before running along to find her friends.

You realized that it was a lot of pressure, and right now it felt like the weight of the world on your shoulders to make sure you were giving Max everything she needed, but sometimes it wasn’t as complicated as you were making it out to be in your head.

Giving Max a place to stay and the knowing that she was cared for was already enough for her and all the rest were just extras she was glad to be given by you and Steve.

After a few hours of strolling through countless stores and picking up the right pillows and bedspread, Steve’s car was officially packed to the brim. You weren’t sure how you all managed to Tetris fit everything, but it worked perfectly and by the time you had dropped the kids and Joyce back to theirs, the empty seats were occupied by everything that was once on their laps.

“My arms are dying!” Max huffed dramatically, slogging up the apartment complex staircase as you lingered behind her, trying to catch your breath with each slow step.

“I’m getting too old for this. I should’ve picked the apartment on the first floor instead.” You fretted with the shake of your head, finally making it up to the top with a loud stomp.

You and Max stood at the top of the stairwell for a couple seconds, deep breaths filling the silence as you pressed yourselves up against the brick wall. Then suddenly, as your eyes locked, laughter erupted not being able to take each other seriously over the silly situation.

Despite the cramp that you were surely going to catch in your leg at any moment’s notice, it was all worth it knowing this was going to be a memory you’d both look back on and crack up at.

Taking another deep breath, you tilted your head down the hallway.

“C’mon I bet Steve and Ollie miss us.” You both walked the short way to your front door.

You let your arm’s weight down, bags falling softly against the concrete as you fished the car keys out of your purse, beginning to unlock it. Ollie’s little barks came from behind the wood door, getting louder when you unlocked the screen and finally pushed the second one open.

The second the gap was cleared, the pup excitedly jumped up on his hind legs, greeting you both with a few more barks.

“Oh, hi boy! I missed you so much.” Max quickly stepped through, placing the bags down and going to her knees in order for him to surge into her lap.

You grinned sweetly, bending down to pet behind his ears while you toed your sneakers off, lugging the bags behind you.

“Where’s your dad, huh? Did you keep him company the whole day?” You wondered aloud, mostly talking to your dog who wasn’t paying you any mind with the pets he was getting from Max.

Before you could even call out his name, Steve strolled from the hallway, dusting off his hands as he smiled at the both of you. His hair was slicked back more than usual, which you assumed was because of the sweat that accumulated from all his hard work.

He didn’t tell you much about what he was going to do before you left, just that he was going to fix up the bedroom for Max and get everything in order.

“He did keep me company. In fact, he couldn’t stop following me around, that is until he heard you guys all the way from the stairwell.” He snickered, knowing that Ollie could hear your combined laughter from a mile away, instantly darting towards the front door the second he heard it.

You walked over to him, placing a peck on his lips before pushing past him into the living room in order to get yourself a glass of water.

He turned his attention to Max. “Did you have fun today, bug?” He proposed, scanning the shopping bags, which wasn’t even half of what you had picked up.

She nodded, bringing Ollie closer to her chest as she waddled over to the couch to get comfortable.

“The best day ever! Joyce even joined us and we all got ice cream afterwards as a treat for all the sale findings we did.”

Steve glanced over at you with a suspiciously raised brow not believing either of you could be gone for as long as you were and only have a couple of shopping bags.

You were especially good at finding the items that were somehow always on sale or marked down, which is how you justified every purchase claiming you were getting a bang for your buck—Steve didn’t know if that was always true or not, but who was he to argue?

“I’m assuming there’s more in the car?” He looked back and forth between the both of you.

You gulped down your water, nodding with a wide grin.

“You are correct!” you said, tossing him the car keys that he quickly caught and stuffed into his pocket with a grin.

“Before I lug whatever the hell you guys bought up here, let me show you a surprise.” He announced with the clap of his hands, motioning for you both to following his lead.

Max’s ears perked up, shuffling off the ground and following him closely. “A surprise?”

“You heard that right.”

The three of you stopped in front of your old study, now Max’s bedroom where the door was pulled shut. You and Max had no idea what was behind the door, but you both were excited to see what he was hiding, knowing he could have done anything while you were gone for the day.

In true dramatic Steve Harrington fashion, he shot Max a semi-worried, yet semi-cheery look, placing his hands on her shoulder as if he was bracing himself for a bad reaction already.

“Now Max, if you hate it by all means, don’t be afraid to tell me,” He cautioned.

She glared playfully, flicking his arm in a scolding manner.

“Stop, I’m not gonna hate it!” She guaranteed to him, waving her hands out in the air as in telling him to hurry about revealing it.

“Fine, then…surprise!” He blurted, reaching back to twist the doorknob and press the door open, revealing its interior.

Shock wasn’t even enough to describe what Max was feeling, let alone fathom the work Steve was able to pull together with just a couple of hours. She wasn’t even sure how he managed to get all the furniture, considering he was left without a car all day, but she was sure he had pulled some strings to make it possible.

The rattan bedframe was pushed up against the wall to maximize the space along with a newly packaged mattress laying within it. Beside it was a small two tiered bookshelf that would also act as a bedside table. Even though it was still empty, he was sure all her comics and little knick-knacks would find their home there when she officially got unpacked.

A tall oak wood dresser stood on the opposite side of the room, and while the room itself did come with a small closet, Steve just wanted to make sure there was enough room for her to store all her things. And last, on the adjacent wall, was a small desk that used to be yours, one that you had told Steve to leave in there for her so she could have a spot to do all her studying and whatnot.

The walls itself were bare, Steve wanting Max to have the creative reign to do whatever she wanted with them or if she wanted to paint it a different color, then they could make plans to go to the store over the weekend and pick a few swatches to choose from the.

Steve anxiously waited as she quietly looked around the room, taking it in without saying a word. She hadn’t even seen the room all too much to remember what it even looked like before all the furniture was put in. The only time she would ever come in there was to grab some pens and markers from your desk, but it was never long enough for her to notice how much natural light and space the room truly had.

Steve crossed his arms over his chest nervously. “Do you like it? I know it’s not much, and it’s still kinda bare, but we can—oh!”

Before he even had the chance to discredit all his hard work more than he already did, the young girl launched herself into his arms, hugging him like her life depended on it.

“Thank you so, so much! This means the world to me. You don’t even know how thankful I am right now!”

You clasped your hands together, heart warming at the sight as you watched how slowly the relief covered Steve’s face before being plastered with complete and utter joy for successfully doing something special for her.

To be fair, you were sure Steve could have blown up an air mattress for her, and Max would have the same reaction since it was the utter thought that counted the most—but this was definitely better.

“You’re welcome, Max.” He smiled, patting her back kindly, still reeling from the reaction he had received while you flashed him a big smile and a thumbs up.

“How did you even get this on time?” She finally pulled away, going for the bed and jumping back first against the mattress with the plastic covering crinkling beneath her. “You didn’t even have a car to pick this up.”

Steve beamed proudly, beginning to explain how he made it all happen. “I made a few calls, and I got Eddie to come and pick me up and we were able to go grab it. And Hop was getting rid of some stuff from the cabin and he let me keep some of the furniture for you.”

Surely getting Eddie’s help was the easy the part, the hardest was convincing him to stick around and help carry it all up the flight or stairs. Steve promised to give him a discount on all the tapes he wanted for a full month just for the favor alone—but Eddie could have gone without it, knowing that Steve was doing it not for himself, but for Max.

“Look at you being resourceful,” you half teased, poking him in the arm while he rolled your eyes at your chiding.

Max sat up slightly, arms spreading out towards the both of you as she jutted out her chin. “Come on. Group hug.”

You and Steve laughed, practically toppling into her side when she pulled you both into her, hugging with all her might trying to physically push all the gratefulness she had into it. She was sure that she could never repay you and Steve for all the things you’ve done for her, but if she could hug you both every day and make you feel it, then she would be doing it forever.

“I’m so glad you love it.” You hummed, laughing through it as she hugged you tighter for just a split second more.

“Well, thank you guys again… for going out of your way for me and giving me a place to stay.” She said kindly, patting the tops of your heads before your dog had jumped up, wanting to be included,

“And thank you, Ollie, for letting me crash at your parents’ place.” She cooed with a giggle, placing the dog on her chest where he settled snugly.

“You’re always welcomed here, you know that.” Steve ruffled at her hair, sitting up on his elbow to watching how comfortably Ollie was already liking the new room as much as Max—you were both certain, he would be crashing there every night instead of the living room or at the end of you and Steve’s bed.

After a few minutes of Max taking in her new room and getting spoiled with cuddles from Ollie, she began unpacking all her belongings, starting off with the clothes since it was the easiest to get sorted. You helped her with folding and organizing them in the drawers, while Steve placed all her heavier jackets and coats on hangers to store in the closet.

Once that was done, you all decided to take a break to snack on food, since neither of you had yet to have a proper lunch. But after a full day of being on your feet and having little to know food in your system, you were pretty much out after finishing half a bag of Doritos and a can of Coke.

Your fatigued body sprawled out on the couch where you had settled, claiming your back needed the extra cushion that the kitchen chairs didn’t have. Max and Steve decided to give you a break, doing their best to not wake you as they cleaned up and headed back to the room to finish unpacking and decorating.

It was a bit of a challenge for them to get the plastic wrapping off the mattress without your help, but they managed to find a way—Steve lifting one corner at a time as Max carefully ran the box cutter over the tarp and tugged it away section by section. The fitted bedsheet also gave them a bit of trouble but after 10 whole minutes of fighting the stupid elastic and getting confused on the right corner, it was done and her bed was properly made with the pale quilted bedsheets.

While Steve went to search for screws and the drill, Max occupied herself by filling the bookshelf bedside table with her collection of comic books and magazines. The ceramic jewelry dish she found at the thrift sat on the countertop, filled with friendship bracelets El made for her and some spare hair ties. On the bottom shelf, she shoved her Walkman and headphones into a wickered basket she also picked up at the thrift that surprisingly matched the rattan bedframe.

Some of the posters she managed to pull off the trailer walls without ripping but were bit crumpled and creased from her rushed packing, found their new homes on the walls in a collage like arrangement.

She was sure Steve would laugh and tease her when he saw the Karate Kid, Ralph Macchio, hanging right beside her dresser, but she also knew he would eventually pick her up tape and suggest it for movie night in a few days. She continued on, taping the rest of the posters up before she heard Steve’s footsteps coming back in.

He did, in fact, chuckle a little teasing her a bit at the way he knew she and El had a crush on the actor due to the fact that they screech every time he came on screen and the sole reason that had gone to see the movie in theatres three times in the same day.

Finally, they worked together to put up the hanging shelf that you had found for a deal, but without any instructions. Steve was totally going to lecture you about how no matter how good the deal was he wasn’t an instruction booklet that just knew how to put things together on the spot. But thankfully, this one didn’t give him too much trouble, at least in the beginning.

“How about now?” Steve gently lowered his hands, backing up from the wall with a single step.

With no level in sight, Steve had to continue readjusting the shelf’s position to make sure it was sitting perfectly flush and leveled against the wall. Neither he nor Max was sure how you slept through the shrill of the drill gun going through the drywall, but they were successful—in not waking you up and finally getting on the shelf right after three attempts.

Max tilted her head from where she sat on the floor. “Yeah…yeah, that looks about straight.” She shrugged not seeing it tilt to one side more than the other.

“You sure? I don’t want your tapes to fall and crack.” Steve frowned, stepping back up more to it to see if it was leveled correctly.

“They’ll survive, Steve.” She snickered at his concern, going to grab the small shoe box which contained all her adored belongings.

Her beloved, always on repeat, Kate Bush tapes found their place in a short stack, not too high in case they accidentally fell and the plastic casing cracked. A few drawings Will had sketched up for her, clipped together and stored in a folder for safekeeping. A few of Billy’s items that she kept like the ashtray that was now used to hold her spare change. And, of course, the koala plush that Steve had won for her at the arcade.

But there was one more thing at the bottom of the shoe box—a framed photo of her and her mom, from way back when she was a little girl in California. Her father took the photo, the two of them standing with wide smiles right in front of the Ferris wheel on Santa Monica’s pier.

Trips were always rare since they were on a tight budget, but her dad always claimed it was the perfect excuse to be stuck in traffic together and then get to stretch their limbs by riding all the rides.

The photograph sat at the bottom of her drawer back at the trailer, and she hadn’t even realized she packed it in the haste until now. Steve who had been sweeping up the dust that fell on the floor from the drilling, noticed her unmoving figure staring into the pit of the shoebox.

He set the broom aside, peering in to see as his lips curled up curiously, “What is it?”

Her lips pursed together into a fine line, picking up the frame and handing it over for him to see. Young Max, no older than six, smiling cheekily beside her mother with an ice cream cone in hand. Her front teeth were missing, but she still sported her signature plaits and freckled cheeks—a lot had changed, but still she was the same spunky girl who just got taller and got all her adult teeth in.

Steve looked up, glancing over at her. “Santa Monica, right?”

“Mhm,” she hummed, wondering how he could’ve known without seeing any specific signs in the photo.

“Do you miss California?” He wondered aloud.

Max shrugged her shoulders not really knowing how to go about it.

“Sometimes. I used to miss it more back when we first moved here, but after a while I kinda stopped because I had made friends and it wasn’t as bad as I thought.”

Steve chuckled, jabbing his elbow gently into her side. “Until you found about the alternate dimension?” He half joked to which she snorted with a roll of her eyes.

“Obviously…but even then, at least I wasn’t alone.” She said, nudging him back at the memory where he was the one who saved her and her friends during her first run in with those demodogs.

She twisted her fingers through each other, shoulders lifting curiously, “I—I do miss my dad sometimes, though. I always wonder what he’s up to, if he ever misses me or my mom.”

“You don’t really talk about him.” Steve said, tapping his foot on the ground suddenly aware of his limited knowledge on her dad’s side.

She nodded understandingly, knowing she didn’t share a lot about him with other people in the first place. Even El didn’t really know too much about him.

“Part of me wishes I could’ve stayed back with him, but I guess he just didn’t want to bear the full responsibility of a kid all by himself.”

“Did you ever try calling him?” Steve wondered, looking at her watching as she nodded with a small smile, recalling those moments for him to hear for the first time.

“We used to talk all the time when we first moved. He would call super early in the afternoon because of the time difference, and he didn’t want to miss me before I went to bed. He used to ask about my day at school and tell me that he was saving up to come visit…” Her smile faded, eyes darting down sadly.

“But he never did.”

“I’m sorry, bug.” He apologized quickly, hating how he had to ask such questions when she was already going through a lot. He didn’t mean to trigger anything, it was just pure interest to learn more.

“No, it’s fine,” she assured him, shaking her head when she finally looked back up at him.

“I know it probably wasn’t easy for him to see his only daughter get up and leave to live with her mom and her new husband who was practically replacing him. I just didn’t think it would mean he’d stop being my dad you know?”

Max knew Steve didn’t have much of a father's presence in his life either, let alone parents at all. It was one of the many things they had in common, something they were both painfully self-aware of.

Their parents were so far away, literally and figuratively. Steve didn’t even know when was the last time he saw his parents’ faces in person, while Max didn’t know when was the last time she had a proper conversation with either her mom or dad.

At some point in time, they became even more self aware that they had to look out for themselves—Steve obviously realizing this first. He hated to know that Max was essentially going through the same thing he did, and it was as if the cycle was repeating, but in other ways the curse was also breaking.

Steve placed a hand on her shoulder, squeezing tenderly.

“Sometimes the people we love stop trying and no matter hard we want them to care, it’s not up to us to make them.” He said delicately, hoping his words would travel deep within and stick with her.

He wasn’t always the best with words and by a long shot he felt like most times he never made the most sense, everything getting misinterpreted or coming across the wrong way. And while Max never liked the idea of unsolicited advice, she really appreciated Steve’s knowing he gave some of the best and most straightforward ones of them all.

“Do you think the same thing is gonna happen to my mom?” She wondered, hoping he would have an answer for her, but Steve didn’t want to compare his parents to hers.

Steve shrugged his shoulders unknowingly, not wanting to give her a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ when he could never truly know for sure. “I think one day she’s gonna come around and she’ll make up for not trying as hard as she should have.”

She took a deep breath, thankful for the careful words, before feeling another squeeze upon her shoulder as Steve spoke again, “But for now, we’re here and we’re not gonna stop trying and we’ll never not care for you.”

That was all that she needed to hear for the waterworks to begin. A trail of happy tears pooling withing her eyes as she sunk into him, letting him bear her weight as he hugged her tightly. It was the kind of hug that replaced the words “thank you,” and “I love you,” because the action alone spoke volumes—in fact it screamed it out loud without even uttering a peep.

Steve Harrington and Max Mayfield surely did not share a drop of blood, but what they did was know that they had each other to lean on. He was always going to be that protective older brother who hated to see her grow up so quickly, and she was always going to be that little sister trying to give him the childhood he never fully got to experience himself.

You didn’t let yourself be seen or heard, back pressed against the hallway wall, biting down on your lip to keep you from letting out a weak cry. You had awoken minutes ago, about to wander into her room to check their progress, but hearing their little heart to heart on your way there made you stop in your tracks and listen.

They needed that moment more than you did, and you’d be damned if you cut it short. As they pulled away, you took a quiet deep breath, swiping your eyes gently to clean the teary look before you knocked softly on the door, letting them know you were there as you walked through, letting out a short gasp.

“I fell asleep for an hour and this place is already looking complete!” You said, looking around in amazement.

Max chuckled, gesturing to the walls, “Don’t you like my Ralph Macchio poster?” She wiggled her brows while Steve muttered an “oh god,” under his breath.

You pointed at her with a nod before winking, “Get one of Matthew Broderick and that’ll complete the whole thing.”

Steve pretended to gag as if he wasn’t once a teenager with all the hot bombshells up on his wall. “What do you guys want a shrine of all the heartthrobs or something?” He accused, peering at you both with a comical look.

You pouted, going towards him to ruffle his hair. “If it makes you feel better, I think you actually resemble a little of Matthew Broderick just with better locks.”

“You think,” Steve blinked self indulgently, looking down at himself while you and Max repressed your laughter, shaking your heads at each other.

“Okay seriously though, I need some real food.” You stated, patting your stomach as they hummed in agreement.

Steve checked his watch, realizing how much time had passed and the sun that was setting sooner than anticipated.

“Too lazy to cook.” He groaned not wanting to do more work.

“But too lazy to go out.” Max added, plopping down on her bed.

You grinned, clapping your hands, “Why don’t we order some pizza? I got that coupon in the mail for an extra topping for free.”

“Pineapple!” they declared in unison without skipping a beat.

You laughed, shaking your head at how much they were truly long lost siblings in this lifetime and probably all the other ones out there.

“I’ll go call it in.” You sing-songed, spinning on your heel about to walk out towards the living room as Steve followed behind you.

“Oh!” Max sat up, looking at you both with a hopeful smile. “Can we at the table and use fancy plates and drink Coke out of the nice glasses?”

You and Steve smiled, nodding your heads at the simple request that seemed like such a big deal for her. Whatever it was that she wanted you and Steve would do the best to give to her.

In this lifetime and on this day, it was a neon kitchen filled with the laughter and smiles as you three ate dinner like royalty and the bright sky faded to night before it’d greet her again in the morning.

💌 reblogs, tags, comments, + likes are greatly appreciated! leave a comment and let me know if want to be added to my taglist!! 💌

a/n: hello hello hello sygb lovers -- the new chap is finally here!!! after months and months and months of on and off working on this chapter i finally finished it and i really hope you all enjoy it. i dont write angst as much but getting to dive deeper into max's life has allowed that for me and defintely challenged me as a writer who primarly sticks with fluff. i love writing steve and max's sibling dynamic but i also really love writing steve's gf's dynamic with max -- they both love and care for her so much as if she is their own. i really hope you guys like this chapter and let me know what you think <3

taglist: @translatemunson @kennedy-brooke @manda-panda-monium @tvserie-s-world @givemeth @steveharringtonswife @the-alchemys @loving-and-dreaming @awkotaco24 @engenelxver @elfiaaaa @pbs-theundeadmaggot @johnricharddeacy @gaysludge @keerysfolklore @micheledawn1975 @ihatepeanutss @bakugouswh0r3 @a-simpfortessa-lesbriean

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