#even when it’s not their important role / point it’s still used and still boring

[novaursa]

req for an aegon ii x reader who has a similar role of margaery tyrell? (love-bombing him so they can be betrothed and stuff)

she very easily manipulates aegon and basically uses his mommy issues to get whtv she wants (obviously bothers alicent to no end).

Web of Gold

Requests are closed!

- Summary: Alicent could only watch as you handle her son like a lioness who plays with her food.

- Pairing: lannister!reader/Aegon II Targaryen

- Rating: Mild 13+

- Next part: aegon in love

- Tag(s): @sachaa-ff @alyssa-dayne @oxymakestheworldgoround

It’s a beautiful morning, yet the tension between you and Alicent Hightower crackles like a summer storm. You can feel her eyes boring into you from across the room, but you’ve become quite accustomed to her watchful glares. If anything, you thrive on them.

You smile sweetly, dipping your head toward Aegon as he lounges on the Iron Throne, looking far more relaxed than any king should. He’s watching you with that same eager gleam in his eyes, waiting for whatever praise you’ll offer him next. It’s become a game for you at this point—how much can you say before he completely melts? And it’s easier than it should be.

"My king," you say softly, stepping closer, your golden Lannister curls bouncing as you move. "You look especially regal today. Like Aegon the Conqueror himself reborn. Do you know what I see when I look at you?"

Aegon straightens slightly, his eyes widening with interest. "What?" His tone is eager, as though whatever you say might be the single most important revelation of his life.

"I see a man destined for greatness. Aegon, you are so strong, so powerful, and—" you let your voice drop into a breathy whisper, "so very wise." You emphasize each word, drawing out your compliments in a way that sends a flush of pride creeping up his neck.

Aegon shifts in his seat, looking thoroughly pleased with himself. "Do you really think so, Y/N?" he asks, his voice almost boyish, seeking that reassurance from you.

"Of course I do, darling. And I would never lie to you." You reach out, letting your fingers brush against his hand in a gentle, lingering touch, just enough to make his breath hitch. "Unlike others who may have their own agendas…" You throw a quick glance toward where Alicent stands, her expression tight, lips pressed thin. The corner of your mouth twitches into a hidden smirk.

Aegon doesn’t notice. He’s too busy basking in the attention you're lavishing on him. "Mother just worries," he mumbles, though even he seems half-hearted about it.

"Worries?" You tilt your head, feigning innocence. "I think she underestimates you, my love. You’ve already proven yourself to be a far better ruler than anyone could have imagined. I can’t imagine why she continues to hover over you like you’re still a boy."

You know exactly why. Alicent cannot stand the idea of you influencing her son. It grates on her to see Aegon so smitten, so easily swayed by your honeyed words. But that’s precisely what you’re counting on.

Aegon chuckles, clearly amused. "She just doesn’t understand, does she?"

"She doesn’t," you agree, leaning in closer so your voice is only for him. "But I do." You place your hand on his chest, right over his heart. "I see you for the man you are, Aegon. A man who doesn’t need his mother whispering in his ear, telling him what to do. You’re king now. You should be able to make your own decisions. Isn’t that what you want?"

Aegon’s eyes flicker with something—desire, admiration, a need for validation. "Yes," he says, his voice firm, though you know it’s more out of wanting to please you than actual conviction. "That is what I want."

You smile, letting your fingers trail lightly down his chest before stepping back, your eyes sparkling with the satisfaction of a job well done. "Then take what’s yours, my king. Trust yourself. Trust me." You cast another glance toward Alicent, who looks like she’s about to bite through her tongue.

She’s always there, lurking like a shadow, trying to pull Aegon back into her grasp. But he slips through her fingers every time you’re around. Alicent has power, but you? You have Aegon. And he doesn’t even realize it.

You turn to face the queen mother, giving her a radiant smile that doesn’t reach your eyes. "Your Grace, you must be so proud of Aegon," you say, your voice saccharine sweet, as though you’re not fully aware of the tension between you. "He’s grown into such a strong man under your care."

Alicent stiffens, her lips twitching in a forced smile. "He has always been capable," she says, her tone clipped. "Though I think he still benefits from wise counsel."

You tilt your head, pretending to consider her words, though you already know exactly how to respond. "Of course," you agree, "but I think he’s ready to make his own choices now. Don’t you?" You let the question hang in the air, a gentle reminder that Aegon is your king now, not hers.

Alicent opens her mouth to reply, but Aegon cuts in before she can get a word out. "Mother, Y/N’s right. I don’t need to be told what to do all the time." He laughs, clearly proud of himself for standing up to her, oblivious to the fact that he’s only echoing your words.

You beam at him, eyes sparkling. "Exactly, my love. You are your own man. And no one, not even your mother, can take that from you."

Alicent’s gaze narrows, and for a moment, you think she might say something sharp, but she bites her tongue. You know it’s eating her alive inside, watching Aegon slip further under your influence, but she can’t do anything about it. Not without making herself look overbearing in front of her son.

"Come, Aegon," you say lightly, turning back to him. "Let’s take a walk in the gardens. You could use some fresh air after sitting on that throne for so long."

Aegon rises eagerly, flashing you that boyish grin that only makes him seem more malleable. "Yes, let’s."

As you link your arm through his and lead him out of the hall, you don’t bother to look back at Alicent. You can already feel the weight of her stare burning into your back. You have Aegon wrapped around your finger, and she knows it.

But as long as you continue to feed his need for affection, for someone to praise him and treat him like the king he so desperately wants to believe he is, he will never stray far from your side. And Alicent can do nothing but watch.

[robin-evry]

In that case, how about Hermes!demigod!Yuu? I imagine how chaotic and fun it would be)

𝐓𝐖𝐒𝐓 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐈 𝐆𝐎𝐃 𝐘𝐔𝐔 ( 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐄𝐒 ) ⚡🪶

Hermes (/ˈhɜːrmiːz/; Ancient Greek: Ἑρμῆς) is an Olympian deity in ancient Greek religion and mythology considered the herald of the gods. He is also widely considered the protector of human heralds, travelers, thieves, merchants, and orators. He is able to move quickly and freely between the worlds of the mortal and the divine aided by his winged sandals. Hermes plays the role of the psychopomp or "soul guide"—a conductor of souls into the afterlife.

Number one trickster and trouble maker in nrc, the reason why riddle getting older by the day due to them just being there.

They do respect the rules but do not blindly follow them unlike riddle who see rules as absolute. Riddle is always tryna find ways to collar them but is unable due to being able to find loop holes in it as well having a good point.

Charismatic and an expert negotiator—whether it’s getting extra food from the cafeteria or convincing Riddle to relax, this trait is heavily wanted by Azul able to outsmart him in anyway and when he realizes it, it was already to late.

Also work as a messenger for the faculty, delivering paper work as well as messages. Would allow students to use their service but needs something in exchange like money and items.

Pulls harmless pranks in the school to pass time when they're bored. Similar towards their father possessed godly speed if anyone blinks, demi god!Yuu is gone. Need something delivered across campus? They’ll have it there before you finish your sentence. Trey once joked they should be the next Spade dorm leader’s errand-runner—Ace immediately regretted it.

Like I said if you want them to deliver something you have to give them something in exchange for their service they won't do this for free. Usually payed thru madol and school work for example a student asks demi god!yuu to deliver an important paper towards professor crewel in exchange to borrow their notes and copy their homework.

On multiple occasions in the binoculars garden they step on Leona tail multiple times but Leona was unable to catch up against them because when he was about to confront them, they already finished with their business there and already left.

Would photobomb people photos, if a student is taking pictures of themselves or something you can always find demi god!yuu posing in one of those pictures.

cannot sit still for too long—whether tapping their fingers, bouncing their leg, or literally pacing, they’re always moving. If forced to stay in one place for too long, they get visibly uncomfortable.

No one ever knows where they are at any given moment. One second they’re in the cafeteria, the next they’re on the roof of Ramshackle. Even Crowley is baffled by how they get around.

When they walk by, people sometimes feel a faint rush of air, even when there’s no wind. Some swear they hear distant laughter trailing after them.

As well demi god!yuu wear a pair of goggles gifted by their divine parents due to them running fast some particles can particularly hurt their eyes so it's very important to wear them to see and protect their eyes. Because if not they're unable to see due to running too fast.

During the opening ceremony, when grim open the coffin demi god!yuu left the coffin and explored the entire school ground in seconds realizing they're not in their world and they come back grim moving so slow and still opening the coffin that's just by their prospective when using their speed, everything seems it stop but it's moving just slow compare towards them due to moving so fast.

When grim released his fire magic and reeking havoc across the ceremony, demi god!yuu save multiple students from suffering dangerous burns by moving them somewhere safer. And the fire demi god!yuu created a small tornado by spinning to suck the entire fire and putting it out in seconds.

Pretty much a very laid-back person, If they don’t feel like doing something, they’ll weave an excuse so intricate that not even Azul can poke holes in it.

They "borrow" things constantly, but they always return them. This habit drives Riddle insane when his pens go missing, only to reappear in perfect condition a week later ( sidenote ; its out of ink )

They are able to pick up language easily when Lilia and malleus were speaking fae language they decided to respond in the language fluently shocking both of them and they can even speak fluently merfolk language, They can even speak towards animals.

When a group would corner them for trouble or exposing them for doing something bad, in a blink of an eye the trouble makers are dangling upside down by a rope and demi god yuu wiping their hands as if it was nothing.

They tend to tease people that are close towards them, when people say that they are too fast they always reply with "nah you're just too slow" and then leave laughing.

[sun-flower-children]

Academic Rivals! Viktor x Reader

Academy Student!Viktor x gn!Reader

Here's my take on this idea that has been rumbling around my brain especially with all the new viktor fics ( yall are doing the lords work)

not proof read + a lot longer than I thought it would be, sorry lmao

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You were the Academy's top student known to be the top of the class with the highest scores always exceeding expectations.

Your creative thinking and problem solving is what normally got you the spotlight of attention within academia.

Naturally after spending your first two years of the Academy eating up the attention and receiving offers from multiple elite members of society, industry and government certainly made your resume/reputation an intimidating one.

Your peers knew you to be competitive and ambitious wanting to be the one to set the curve; extensive research projects, etc.

This did however make you a poor teammate with your passionate ideas that one of them could dream of keeping up with you. Plus you would steal the leadership role from them to implement the changes you'd want.

You had gotten used to pattern created for you with a bright future ahead.

Even if you were getting kind of bored of knowing that your worst idea would still allow you to keep your rank.

Then all the sudden a new student joins the Academy

It didn't bother you much until you started seeing a drop in your scores and ranking thus creating a rivalry with this mysterious student.

It was not until you and Viktor shared a class that you realized who your academic opponent was

Thus starting a new chapter of your academic career with renewed passion upon knowing there was finally someone that could equal you in skill.

Fighting for everything within the academic realm that was available

Now neither of you had ever officially been introduced or carried a proper conversation instead replacing regular communication with pointed looks of smugness or confidence.

You would have angry fits in private realizing the margin that you had lost to Viktor

Long days and nights spent gaining a potential advantage over your rival.

Your friends would point out how you would almost pop a vein just describing the way that he would "usurp the first place on an exam all because of a technicality"

Honestly when you would get really into it you were sure that you hated this guy: coming out of nowhere with no prior history and just takes over everything you have worked hard to establish.

Who does he think he is????

Now all your professors, namely Himerdinger paid close attention to this rivalry. It's entertaining watching your top 2 students hash it out and creating things they would not have without this push.

Himerdinger seeing how honed in your other skills were decided to create a project for the class specifically targeting you both.

A partnered project

One that could not change neither the topic, the partner or the day that it was to be presented; everything set in stone.

" Learning the skills needed in a lab is one thing but the most important and impactful discoveries have always been those created through teamwork." Himerdinger would share one fateful day as he put up the paper listing the groups.

It did not even cross your mind that you would have been paired with Viktor and after looking at the poster turned around a looked at him.

Viktor was still sitting in his front row seat in the lecture room patiently waiting for the crowd to dissipate before getting up to look at the paper.

He continued to wrap up whatever notes he had taken as you step up to him.

"We are assigned partners for this project." you say very matter a factly.

Viktor looks up to you with a small smile," Well then, we should set up times to work on the project together. What times work best for you?"

You were taken aback by his nonchalance.

Did he really not care that he was partnered with you? Did he not see you as significant enough to mention the obvious tension? Did he not even see you as a rival but a regular student below him???

After a short pause you share what time you are normally at the library.

As you share the details he finished packing up his stuff.

Looking back up to with another slightly bigger smile (what is his game???) " I'll see you then. Tomorrow at table four."

With that he leans on his cane and leaves you in the quiet empty classroom to deliberate your next moves.

That night you started working on the project creating multiple schemes, ideas, and conceptual ideas that could be used for the project put forth.

You went to bed hoping to finally force him to recognize you as the rival that you were as he seemed so dismissive before.

You showed up to the library at the arranged time to see Viktor sitting peacefully at a study table thumbing through multiple volumes seemingly looking for a specific piece of information.

"Good Morning." you started as you walked up to him.

Without even looking up he returns the same early day greeting and places yet another volume aside and opening a new one.

Raising an eyebrow that the attitude you place your things on the other side of the table.

"I was thinking last night about this project and had written down some ideas that I believe that we should pick from as our approach." you open the discussion with no changed behavior from your supposed teammate.

You continue, " I have already taken the liberty to research them, for your convenience, and have supplied preliminary data for each one. Honestly any of these would resolve the problem raised by our projects prompt with their main difference being how creative you wanted to get with it."

Viktor has created yet another pile of abandoned books that didn't meet his mysterious criteria all the while not regarding you properly.

Your felt your self becoming more warmer as you felt the irritation pool into the oil pit of anger you have created surrounding him.

"It's considered polite to respond or at the very least acknowledge when someone is talking to you. Or are you so focused on your book hunt you aren't ever looking at the person you are supposed to be completing this project with."

Viktor sighs putting the book currently in his possession down and looks up to you.

"It was not my intention to be rude I am just looking for a specific volume that has a unique perspective on the concept we learned a week ago but the title is slipping my mind."

Sighing you sit down and observe the collection of books created on the table.

"I'm going to go on a limb here and assume that you only really remember that the color of the book was dark blue?"

Viktor chuckled," Observant and yes I am."

"Well you aren't going to find it in the library considering there is only one copy of it. That author's take was considered almost heretic."

"Ah, so you are familiar with the book I am referencing?"

"It would be strange if I didn't considering that I brought it with me to our meeting. I checked it out a week ago because it piqued my interest and also happened to align with this assignment."

You hold it out over the table as Viktor sighs again running a hand through his hair.

The meeting ended up going on for longer than expected.

You were surprised to find that he has a similar perspective to yours and understood your vision from the multiple proposals that you had created.

Further analysis showed some minor flaws that would otherwise be overlooked by other people; but neither of you too were not going to settle for anything less than perfection.

The more that the two of you poured over ideas, equations, concepts, and plans until you came up with a path that pleased you both with only one variable that needing some testing.

Viktor offered to go his smaller private study that he had already set up a similar experiment (he was also trying ideas out the night before)

Walking side by side down the hallways was a strange feeling.

Not because you were walking slower that your default rushed walking pace but because this person that you had, honestly, really hated and rationalized that was cheating somehow....wasn't.

You hated to admit it as you continued to listen to his rambling on of the missing component that they needed to figure out.

(Shit...he is actually just naturally brilliant)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

part 1 | part 2 >

[scarletskiesinthepaths]

Why do you think Levi is subjected to more ableism in the fandom than other characters in the series?

You know, Anon, I’ve wondered the same thing. I’ve often thought about why Levi in particular faces so much ableism from fans, especially compared to other disabled characters in Attack on Titan, like Erwin (who was an amputee) and Hange (who lost an eye). I think one important difference driving the ableism against Levi is how his role in the narrative was tied so strongly to his physical prowess; he was literally hailed as “Humanity’s Strongest.” For many fans, this moniker became his entire identity. When they see Levi at the end of the manga with severe injuries���half-blind, facially scarred, and using a wheelchair—there can be an almost visceral reaction: they feel he’s “lost” what made him exceptional and, consequently, his worth.

Of course, this attitude misses the deeper point of his character. Levi’s true “strength” was never about having perfectly functioning limbs or unmatched reflexes; instead, it lay in his resilience, moral compass, and capacity to protect and care about others despite intense personal trauma. Unlike Erwin or Hange—whose strengths were regarded as intellectual, strategic, or based on charisma—Levi was mythologized for his physical abilities. And our society, unfortunately, tends to place a premium on physical performance; people often conflate physical prowess with overall capability and even personal value. Notice how many superhero stories focus on those heroes being heroic because of their superpowers. When that physical prowess is removed, the ableist assumption is that someone becomes “useless” or “broken”. Erwin and Hange aren’t subjected as much to this particular form of prejudice because their disabilities aren’t perceived as negating their worth.

Furthermore, mobility disabilities in particular are frequently treated with greater bias and discrimination—there is a long history of society perceiving a wheelchair user’s life as diminished or over. Because Levi’s injuries affect him in very visible ways (eye injury, wheelchair use, and facial scarring), the ableist rhetoric becomes more overt: some fans leap to the conclusion that he’s a shadow of his former self, rather than recognizing he’s still the same exact individual who overcame a violent childhood, survived countless battles, and bore tremendous responsibility and loss on his shoulders, all with immense compassion.

What’s especially ironic is that Levi’s endurance and courage remain perfectly intact; if anything, his hardships only reinforce how indomitable his spirit is. Being in a wheelchair doesn’t negate what he’s achieved; it highlights how much he’s lost yet continues to survive, pushing forward with the same mental and emotional fortitude. By dismissing him because of his physical injuries, people undermine the story’s nuanced message: that genuine strength is measured by character, not physical strength.

All in all, I believe Levi faces more blatant ableism because people struggle to separate his core character from his once-renowned physicality. The fact that he ended the story visibly disabled, rather than “bouncing back” with minimal repercussions, forces certain fans to confront their own biases regarding disability. Instead of reading it as an empowering statement rooted in realism—that Levi is still himself, still strong in ways that truly matter—some choose to read it through an ableist lens, judging his worth by his physical condition alone.

[aussie-roadkill]

Hi guys I am going to ramble about the end scene of Generation Loss now

I fucking LOVE how Hetch taunts Ranboo in this,

“I still have a roll here to play” A nice hint of superiority, saying I’m important, you’re not, I still have a purpose, which of course is furthered with the “You’ll stay until you’ve outlived your use, that might be tomorrow, or a thousand years from now” Ranboo might be the hero, the main character, but he’s still just playing a role, he’s still a toy that will get tossed aside when Showfall gets bored of him

“Your choices, your decisions to let other people die for you” Calling Ranboo selfish, telling them they killed those people. That its their fault. Live or die this is the last time Ranboo would have free thought, and Hetch wants to make that as painful as possible, make him feel guilt, make him hate himself.

“They can’t get enough of you, and looking at the poll they want to play with you forever” the vote was 51/49 at this point, and Hetch implies the audience all want Ranboo to stay, to suffer in this twisted show. He wants to make ranboo panic he wants them to be afraid, to feel terror, to feel like they’re trapped, and it works, they start screaming, begging the audience too kill them, saying they can’t live with the things they’ve done. Hetch just lies to scare him, he just lies because he enjoys the pure raw emotion it gets out of his ‘actor’

“He’d rather quit than (...) keep entertaining you” Taunting both Ranboo and the audience, calling him a coward, a quitter, trying to make Ran seem like the bad guy, telling the audience they don’t care about them- how selfish, he’d rather die than make you happy, does he really deserve this mercy? Don’t you want him to stay and suffer, keep giving you content, keep being your puppet

Ran saying “I saw everything” and Hetch responds “And you’ll see so much more” at 55/45, the vote just ended, He won’t be seeing more, that’s a lie. He just wanted Ranboo to panic, he wanted them to think they were going to be trapped in here forever, he delighted in the sheer panic, the begging for anything else, even death

anyway, all hail Autism Jesus, he died for our stims

[cursedcanon]

"Would you love me if i was a worm?"

Asking JJK men an important question😔

Characters: Gojo, Choso, Sakuna, Geto,Toji , Nanami, Yuji, Megumi

Gojo Satoru:

"Would I love you if you were a worm? Babe, I'd be the most powerful worm protector on Earth." He immediately whips out his phone, searches up "how to take care of a worm," and starts planning out a lavish worm habitat for you. He’s talking terrariums with unlimited snacks, a 24/7 security system, and possibly a mini Infinity barrier to keep you safe from predators. He even suggests putting little designer sunglasses on you because, "If you're gonna be a worm, you gotta be a stylish one."

Choso:

Choso just stares at you. Silently. Like he's seriously contemplating the question on a spiritual level.

"Would I still be your older brother?" he asks.

You: "Huh??"

"If you were a worm, and I was still your lover, does that mean I take on a guardian role instead? Would I have to fight for your worm honor?"

He’s dead serious, and now you feel guilty for confusing this poor man.

Sukuna:

Sukuna stares at you, unblinking.

"You?" He points at you. "A worm?"

"Yes."

"A pathetic, slimy little creature that wriggles around in the dirt?"

"YES, Sukuna."

He grins, leaning in like he’s about to say something sweet—then scoffs, "I'd use you as fishing bait."

You GASP, absolutely offended. "YOU WOULD NOT."

"Oh, I would. And I'd catch a big, juicy fish with you, cook it over an open flame, and enjoy a nice meal."

You glare at him, arms crossed. "You're a monster."

Sukuna just cackles, enjoying your suffering. But later, when you're still sulking, he rolls his eyes and mutters, "Tch. Fine. I'd keep you in a fancy jar or something, happy now?"

Geto

Geto just gives you this fond, exasperated look and sighs, rubbing his temples. "How am I supposed to answer that seriously?"

You persist. "You have to!"

He smirks and shakes his head. "Fine. I'd gather the strongest non-curse worms and create a worm cult just for you. We'd overthrow the ecosystem. You’d be the queen of all worms."

You’re so happy with that answer.

Meanwhile, Gojo (who overheard): "Did you just say you'd start a worm cult? Bro, are you okay?"

Toji Fushiguro

He gives you the most bored look imaginable. "You already eat like a worm. Just munchin’ on stuff all day."

"That is NOT the same thing."

"Same thing to me."

You glare at him, but Toji just shrugs. "Besides, if you were a worm, I'd keep you in my pocket. Probably forget to feed you, though."

You: "TOJI???"

Nanami Kento:

He takes off his glasses, pinches the bridge of his nose, and lets out the longest sigh of his life.

"Kento?" you prod.

He deadpans. "Would I love you if you were a worm? No. Because, quite frankly, I do not have time to be in a relationship with an invertebrate."

You gasp dramatically. "I thought you loved me!"

"I love you as a human, darling. Not as a worm." He pats your head before going back to his paperwork, leaving you heartbroken.

(But secretly, he'd probably keep you safe in a little container. With gourmet worm food.)

Itadori Yuji

"OF COURSE I WOULD!!"

This boy immediately starts thinking of ways to keep you happy as a worm. He’s brainstorming worm-sized adventures, worm-safe cuddles, and ways to keep you entertained.

"I’d take you everywhere! I’d make a little pouch for you so you could still see the world! Maybe even get you a tiny skateboard so you can roll around—wait, can worms even ride skateboards?"

Now he’s the one spiraling, and you just watch as he overthinks your dumb hypothetical question.

Fushiguro Megumi:

He blinks. Once. Twice.

Then: "No."

You: "Wow, that was fast."

Megumi: "Why would I love a worm?"

"Because it's me, Megumi!"

He sighs, clearly tired. "I'd keep you in a safe place, make sure no one steps on you, but love? I don't think worms understand complex emotions."

Now you’re sitting there, shocked and betrayed, while Megumi just goes back to reading his book like nothing happened.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Hey, there. Can you help me with this? I am stuck on creating with this motivation for my WIP.

Those who seek death shall live, and those who seek lives shall die How do you create a character with this type of character motivation? either is an important side character, villain, mentor, or even main character?

Hi! Some writers like to use character tropes as inspiration when they get stuck with a certain idea. Here are some examples I found for you that you can use as a guide. And alter as needed for your story:

"Death Seeker" Trope

At some point in the past, some characters have had a traumatic experience, found themselves dishonored, committed a crime they could not repay, lost everything worth living for, caught an incurable disease or just became bored with continued existence.

For whatever reason, rather than turning to suicide, they went off seeking battles to fight, hoping to find an enemy who would kill them, and achieve an honorable, heroic, awesome, or otherwise acceptable death, sometimes going as far as outright surrendering and offering their life to their enemies. 

Martyrdom Cultures may regard such a character as a role model, even if upon closer examination they might seem like a Martyr Without a Cause.

In cases of cruel Irony, the characters who snap out of it and find something to live for often end up dying or getting killed shortly afterwards anyway.

A real life example:

Jeffrey Dahmer frequently expressed his wish to die for his crimes while in prison. When he was attacked by another prisoner who attempted to slit his throat, he refused to press charges and requested to be returned to the general prison population. Only a few months later, he was beaten to death by another prisoner. His last words were, reportedly: "I don't care if I live or die — go ahead and kill me."

"I Cannot Self-Terminate" Trope

Perhaps they've just been wounded in a vital area and know they are going to die slowly and in agony, and just want to die with dignity/end the pain quickly. Perhaps they are prisoners and being tortured, and the hero cannot break them free but could shoot them.

In any case, while they're ready or even eager to die, they cannot do it on their own. This can also count as a Heroic Sacrifice, sometimes.

If the character is robotic, this may occur due to influence from Asimov's Laws. Specifically, the Third Law states that a robot may not harm itself, or through inaction allow itself to be harmed, unless doing so is required to uphold the First or Second Law. Even when not following the hierarchical laws of robotics, it could still occur if a robot is simply programmed for self-preservation.

The victim may plead for death even when it is possible for them to be saved, owing to the pain. The hero is likely to override that, often saying No One Gets Left Behind.

Accidental Murder: Occurs when a situation that wasn't intended to be lethal ends with the death of someone anyway.

Anyone Can Die: This is easily defined as definite Truth in Television, because all living organisms are mortal and are bound to, by statistics at least, eventually die for any number of reasons, with no fiction writers to determine how it happens. When used poorly or too frequently, this trope can cause Too Bleak, Stopped Caring, possibly with audiences uttering the Eight Deadly Words, as the audience won't see any point in getting attached to characters that they expect to die sooner or later. A good way to check if this trope applies is to see if who survives is an important plot point, rather than only how they survive.

Cheated Death, Died Anyway: When a character narrowly escapes death on occasion (and perhaps more than one occasion), only to die shortly thereafter anyway…in a completely different way. Exactly how close the two incidents have to be varies, so the important factor in this trope is the presence of irony. This can apply in a matter of minutes, months, or even (in rare cases) years; the deciding factor is the Bait-and-Switch element of the death.

Death Is the Only Option: The only way to achieve victory is to die.

Forgiveness Requires Death: In order to be forgiven of their crimes, the character must die.

Heroic Sacrifice: Sacrificing your own life for the greater good.

Jumping on a Grenade: Sacrificing oneself by using one's own body as a shield against a deadly threat in hopes of sparing others.

Metaphorical Suicide: A despondent character willingly resigns themself to a fate similar to death without actually dying.

The Problem with Fighting Death: …is that even if you win, you'll still eventually lose. Killing or imprisoning Death might not offer protection either, as his sister Entropy goes around making everyone grow old and wish to die while Death Takes a Holiday or cause a plague of ghosts as the souls of the dead get stuck on Earth. This is the problem with fighting Death, Hades, The Devil, Psychopomps, Anthropomorphic Personifications or even God; you just can't win. However, a draw may be possible with creativity. If all that matters is that there be a Death, then replacing him with someone friendlier or someone with whom deals can be struck and honored can be a way to go. This can be done by appealing to someone higher on the divinity ladder, getting someone else to kill and replace Death (or doing so yourself, if you're willing to accept the job for the rest of eternity), and flying out of Hell are all possibilities. In this way, one can say Living Forever Is Awesome.

Who Wants to Live Forever?: If an immortal being grows so sick of eternal life that they just want it to end already.

Sources: 1 2 3 4 ⚜ More: Notes & References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

Hope this helps inspire your writing! You can look through the sources for more information on each trope.

[kylieswift31]

Karma is (not) real

"But not for me, not for me, all I think about is karma"

"What do you think is the most important life lesson for someone to learn?"

"That Karma is real."

Karma the lost album is synonymous with the bleachella era, a brief time in 2016 before Taylor pivoted and eventually released reputation as her last album with BMR instead. This anomaly in what was Taylor's two year album release cycle has lead many of us to associate the colour orange with the concept of karma and to anticipate that the final destination of the re-recording process will end with whatever the short lived karma era was originally going to be. But what if that was all just a big distraction to prevent us from seeing what Taylor's really had planned?

"We've become bored with watching actors give us phony emotions. We're tired of pyrotechnics and special effects. While the world he inhabits is, in some respects, counterfeit, there's nothing fake about Truman himself. No scripts. No cue cards. It isn't always Shakespeare, but it is genuine. It's a life."

The Truman show begins with the director and cast gushing about how real and true Truman's life is, insisting that the controlled environment he lives in equates to entertainment void of inauthenticity. We're then presented with a story that begins with a juxtaposition between Truman's desire to travel to Fiji and the reality of how his ambitions were squandered following the loss of his father during a boating incident that left him with a debilitating fear of water that prevented him from ever leaving the island. Truman's motivation to leave Seahaven begins with discovering that his father is still alive, a realisation that sparks multiple attempts to overcome his fears after growing suspicious of everyone around him.

"Why would we watch the sea?"

"Cats don't even like the beach!"

We're lead to believe that Truman's 'spontaneous' escape over the bridge was unsuccessful, that it caused his relationship with Meryl to fall apart and what ultimately left him alone and more miserable than ever before. It was then when everyone else had let their guards down thinking Truman had finally given up on his dream that he was able to escape when they least expected it. Looking back it may seem like Truman managed to overcome his fear of water after discovering that his father was still alive, but the truth is that Truman was never scared of the water to begin with.

"In case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!"

Truman's final bow at the end of the movie paired with his catchphrase that he greets his neighbours with each morning revealed that he had been performing (just like everyone else around him) from the very beginning. What the director, cast and audience had all viewed as Truman's genuine behaviour was really just all built on Truman's lies disguised as authenticity. During the flashbacks of Truman's younger years we get a glimpse into his desire to explore beyond the island. He was born into a world where everyone around him was so focused on putting on a show and playing their part for the audience watching the Truman show that no one stopped to consider how repetitive their behaviour was for Truman to encounter day after day after day. "They look just like regular people." Everything we witnessed unfold throughout the Truman show stemmed from Truman's role in slowly exposing the reality of what he had experienced as the star in the spotlight, which in the end left almost everyone except for the director rooting for him to finally be able to walk through the door for the very first time.

"It's a clock, it'll help you tell time."

Taylor has purposefully used the concept of karma to create a tangible point in time to demonstrate an intangible example of 'what could've been'. There's the rumoured lost album, karma written on the man wall, the karma coffee cup, the karma song itself and even an entire music video full of Easter eggs hinting at what's still yet to come. In the process we've all been so focused on anticipating the reclamation of her past albums and unreleased vault tracks being the final destination that nobody realised that Taylor's ultimate plan was so much bigger than just retelling her own story.

"But if the story's over, why am I still writing pages?"

Taylor has been such an outspoken advocate for artists to write and own their own music over the years, but even more so after her masters were sold. It gives artists ownership over the memories and experiences they've woven throughout their songs, albums and performances, but it also allows them to create a legacy that the music industry "can't undo". To reclaim her past Taylor hasn't just been retelling her story, she's also been rewriting it too.

"It's death by a thousand paper cuts."

Karma might not be a lost era, but it certainly is a cat. Olivia represents the original version, Meredith represents Taylor's version and Benjamin represents the version Taylor owns for the very first time. One cat for each time Taylor has told her story and many more that represent having others within the New Romantics retelling chapters of her story as well as her role in mentoring the next generation of upcoming artists so that they never have to go through what she did. And the reason why we didn't notice that Taylor was rewriting her story? She was telling it backwards! Just like Benjamin Button ages in reverse to everyone else around him, Taylor started her first self owned album by writing the ending to her story first before going back to the beginning.

"You never had a camera inside my head!"

The type of plot device used in the Truman show hinges on having an unreliable narrator who misdirects the audience by creating a foundation built upon an admission of truth in the very beginning. For Taylor that was admitting that she lies with the very first line of Tim McGraw. The second time around it was admitting that "I'd be the man!" because she's been playing the role of the man in the story she's telling from the very beginning. This story that she's been telling repeatedly will finally end when she's able to sing from her own perspective. So in the end Taylor's version of karma is the fact that the story is hers to tell and that she can retell the story over and over again if she wants to. More on that to come soon, but for now...

"I wanna be defined by the things that I love.

Not the things I hate.

Not the things I'm afraid of, I'm afraid of.

The things that haunt me in the middle of the night,

I, I just think that you are what you love."

It's nice to have a friend,

Kylie x

[youneedsomeprompts]

I am currently writing a story, and almost every character I’ve introduced so far uses she/her pronouns. I keep having to use their names over and over and it looks redundant and odd. I’ve used epithets a few times but I absolutely hate having to do that.

Is there any advice you have for this sort of issue, and if so, it would be great if you could share some! Thank you :)

Multiple Characters with the Same Pronouns

Having multiple characters with the same pronouns in one scene can make describing the scene a little difficult. I'm not sure if I have entirely new tips for you because you already pointed out the three most common ways to refer to a character (name, pronouns, epithets (a term used to characterise a person/thing)) and what the problems with each one can be. But I'll try my best :)

Repetition of Pronouns

First off, there is nothing wrong with using the character's pronouns a lot, as long as the reader can follow. A good thumb rule is that all fitting pronouns following the mention of a name (or an epithet) are referring to that mentioned character.

"Eleanor stormed out of the house. Her feet carried her aimlessly down the gravel path. She didn't care about the stares and she wouldn't slow down no matter what they would call after her. She had her mind made up."

This example is rather clear because there is not much back and forth between multiple characters with the same pronouns. It is very obvious that every 'she' and 'her' refers to the character named Eleanor. Now, if we have, let's say four characters in a scene that use she/her pronouns, we can still try to apply the same rule. Use an epithet or the name when the focus wanders from one character to the other. In between, when treating the same character, you can easily use their pronouns.

"Eleanor gritted her teeth. Why did she have to listen to her mother's long sermons? It wasn't fair. Everyone knew she had more important things to do. But now her mother's eyes bore even more accusingly into her. 'Do you think this is a joke, Eleanor?' Mother's voice flipped as she drew out the syllables of her daughter's name. 'Oh, leave her be, mother!' Ivy chimed in. She was always ready to defend her elder sister. She was such a sweetheart, Eleanor thought. Meredith, of course, had a different opinion. 'I don't know why Eleanor should get a different treatment than we. All she does is make trouble, and now there isn't even a consequence, or what?' She wasn't hateful, she just had a very strong sense of justice. Too strong maybe, Eleanor thought. People were different enough; a good reason to treat them individually and not by some harsh standards that Meredith so liked to set."

I don't know if this is the best example but I hope it demonstrates a way to deal with the problem. Just as using pronouns a lot, it's also alright to repeat the characters' names quite a few times. It can help the reader 're-centre' in the story and be clear about which character is actually doing what.

Epithets

As to epithets, you don't have to use them excessively if you don't like it, but I feel it can be a great way to loosen up the story a bit here and there. As you said, with quick changes of focus between the characters, there is not much possibility to use the pronouns because we have to 'reintroduce' the characters whenever the focus of action changes. We don't always want to use their name for that. So? Epithets? Maybe it helps to find the right epithets for your story. Maybe it doesn't feel cohesive to use attributes like 'the red-haired woman' or 'the grim-looking, old man'. Maybe it fits the story more to use the characters' roles like 'the teacher' or 'the butler'. I think when using the fitting epithets it can feel so coherent that you don't even notice them. E.g. Of course, character X is the driver, so we refer to them as the driver every now and then. Of course, character Y is the father of Z, so we can use epithets referring to their parental role. This, for example, can feel very natural, but what exactly feels natural is individual to every story/scene. It can be one way to look for the epithets that are most natural to the character to not interrupt the flow of the story. Or it can be another way to look for the epithets that most set the character apart from the other characters to make a clear distinction of who exactly is acting right now. You can make this choice again and again with every new sentence. And of course, there are a lot more ways to categorise and choose epithets (I could maybe make another post about that if there is interest). But I hope this may already help a little :)

Let me know if you have more questions about this topic!

[pollymorgan]

Ex-husband Negan Part 1

Warnings: Negan is a total asshole, but hot!

When I first saw Negan, almost exactly 29 years ago, I had no idea what important role he would play in my life. I was just a naive girl, instantly infatuated with this rebellious, outspoken, handsome motorcyclist who didn't follow any rules and did his own thing. Just a few days after that first meeting, he became my first serious boyfriend.

Love is blind, they say, and that certainly applied to me. I put up with all his mistakes, lies, and escapades for three whole years until I finally had enough and ended things. The pain and disappointment overshadowed my life for a long time. But if you think you learn from your mistakes, then you don't know me. When I was in my late twenties, this guy had drawn me back in and even convinced me to marry him.

Had he changed? Not at all! Despite his constant assurances. But maybe he simply can't help it. Negan remains Negan. In the cursed seventh year, I couldn't take it anymore and filed for divorce. Not because I didn't love him anymore, in fact quite the opposite, but the disappointments were just too much to bear.

Despite everything, he had given me the most precious and wonderful gift in my - our life. Our two babies. Gracie and Lizzie. And that fact alone will probably never truly separate us.

The two of them are no longer little, though, but 11 and 17 years old. And my ex-husband is the best father i could imagine. It seems like he wants to make up for all the mistakes he made with me through them.

They love their father more than anything, and that alone makes me incredibly happy. That's why I can't hate him, even though I have pretty good reasons to.

Just now, the three of them spent the last weeks of summer vacation in a cabin in the mountains. The fact that my media-crazed girls wanted to spend their free time fishing, swimming, and hiking, all without cell phone reception, fascinated me immensely. They probably would have thought I was crazy if I had made that suggestion to them.

It was strange not having my daughters in the house, but I also enjoyed the peace a little. It had been quiet around me for a long time.

My new partner, an architect from the office where I work, and I had been arguing more and more in recent months. Last week, it even escalated to the point where he moved into a hotel. Fortunately, Gracie and Lizzie weren't home.

I wanted this relationship to work so badly, but apparently it was doomed to fail. Steve is the complete opposite of Negan - calm, down-to-earth, perhaps even a bit boring, but I thought that after everything I had been through, that's exactly what I needed.

Ironically, what I constantly accuse Negan of, that he can never maintain a long-term relationship, unfortunately seems to apply to me as well.

But today, I tried to push my worries aside because my daughters were returning from their vacation, and I was looking forward to being able to hold them in my arms again after two weeks.

I was just about to put their favorite casserole in the oven when my phone rang.

"Gracie, my darling!" I almost shouted into the receiver.

"Hello Mom, we're on our way back now!" she replied.

"When will you be here? ... Dinner won't be ready for another hour.."

"Dad, how much longer do we have to drive?" I heard her ask.

When I heard Negan's response faintly in the background, my expression hardened and I looked at the clock in shock.

"Another 5 hours???" I asked incredulously.

It was almost 6 PM and school started tomorrow. Negan had promised me that they would be back in time for dinner.

"Sweetheart, can you please give me your father on the phone..." I spoke as calmly as I could into the receiver, and Gracie immediately handed the phone over.

"Hello, my beautiful..." he said with his unmistakable, deep voice that still gave me goosebumps after all these years.

At his words, I couldn't help but smile, even though I wasn't really in the mood for it.

"Negan, damn it, you promised to be back for dinner, the kids have to go back to school early tomorrow morning.." I said seriously.

I heard an irritated grunt from him, then he replied, "I didn't know that you bourgeois have dinner promptly at 6, but now seriously... our girls wanted to see a waterfall, and you know I can't deny them any wishes. I'll bring them home safely, I promise."

"I know..." I whispered into the receiver and then emphasized louder, "...but that's not the point!"

After the call, I turned off the oven in exasperation and sat down in front of the TV with a glass of red wine, trying to distract myself with some silly soap opera to prevent my anger from escalating even further, but it wasn't really working.

"It's okay, nothing happened, they're just coming home a bit later," I tried to reassure myself, cursing Negan inwardly. He broke every promise he made to me with such ease.

The hands of the clock seemed to stand still, or at least that's how it felt to me. Time passed agonizingly slowly. I started preparing everything for Lizzie's school day tomorrow. She would be so tired in the morning, and I already felt sorry for her.

By 10 PM, I was standing by the window, staring out into the dark night, while the table was set and dinner was ready. After what felt like an eternity, the car finally pulled up with my family.

My two girls jumped out of the car beaming with joy, and that dashed any hope I had that they might have slept a little during the drive.

I immediately opened the front door, and Lizzie ran into my arms.

"Mama, I caught the biggest fish of all..." she shouted from a distance.

"That's amazing, did you have a lot of fun?" I asked her, holding her tightly in my arms, breathing in the familiar scent of her hair.

"It was the coolest vacation ever!!!" she said convincingly and then rushed into the house. My eldest approached me more slowly, but she too had a big grin on her face. Gracie had inherited her father's smile and knew exactly how to get away with everything with me. She had to use it quite often, considering she also inherited Negan's temper. I pulled her into my arms as well and was once again taken aback by how grown she had become. There wasn't much left of my little girl; she already seemed so mature.

"It was really cool, Mom," she said coolly.

Then my gaze fell on Negan. Damn, after all these years, just seeing him made my heart beat faster. With my arms crossed, I tried to glare at him as menacingly as possible, but he just smiled and planted a way too long kiss on my cheek.

The smell of his aftershave and the feeling of his lips on my skin took my breath away for a few seconds. I quickly composed myself and swallowed hard.

As he tried to enter the house as if it were the most natural thing in the world, I stood provocatively in his way.

"Thanks, Negan! Have a good night, get home safely..." I said.

Lizzie came running back immediately. You could hear her running on the parquet floor from a distance.

"Can't Dad eat with us?" she asked, completely excited.

"It's already late, my dear..." I replied firmly, ruffling her hair, but not breaking eye contact with Negan.

"Is Stevieboy projecting his jealousy again, or why can't I even take a damn step into my family's house?" he asked, slightly amused.

Shocked, I looked at him. I was used to his remarks, but claiming something like that in front of our youngest daughter shocked even me.

"My husband isn't here... he's on a business trip!" I lied.

"Husband? If anything, he's more like your friend, or rather your companion for this phase of life..." Negan corrected me provocatively, underlining his statement with another grin.

Gracie returned to the door as well. "Dad drove forever, can't we eat together at least? We can show you some really cool pictures. Dad bought us a really awesome DSLR camera..."

I bit my tongue to stop myself from commenting on his unnecessary expenses. How many times had we argued about his inability to handle money in the past? But unlike him, I didn't want to say such things in front of our children. So, I reluctantly stepped aside and gestured for him to come into the house.

During dinner, everyone was talking at once, sharing the wildest stories from their trip. Both my daughters definitely inherited their tendency to exaggerate their stories from their father. But just like him, they always made me laugh with their tales. So, I even shed a few tears of joy as they recounted every detail to me. I felt Negan watching me the whole time, when he wasn't putting on his black-rimmed glasses to find the right picture to match the current anecdote on his camera.

Mid-conversation, Gracie suddenly jumped up as her phone vibrated, "It's David finally...." She ran out of the room with a big smile on her face.

"We won't be seeing her tonight..." I stated, wiping a few tears from the corner of my eye that I had shed while laughing.

"Oh, David... that guy doesn't sit well with me at all..." Negan observed seriously, looking at me somewhat perplexed.

"May I remind you that our daughter hasn't been a little girl for a long time... she's 17!" I chuckled at the fact that it seemed to genuinely bother him.

"David is her boyfriend..." Lizzie chimed into the conversation.

"Sweets, promise me that at least you won't bring a boyfriend home, okay?" Negan addressed our youngest.

"That's nonsense, your mom was 16 when she met your dad... even a year younger than your sister now..." I explained to her.

"That's exactly why this whole thing worries me so much..." Negan cut me off, and as I looked at him, I couldn't help but think back to the night I lost my innocence to this guy. Everything was so perfect back then. I know not many women can say that about their first time. But even though we were both so young, Negan was so tender and considerate with me, yet so confident that he dispelled all my insecurities. And that night was just the beginning of many more, even better... Lost in thought, I bit my lip until Lizzie's words snapped me out of my reverie.

"Can Daddy tuck me in, pleeease...?" she asked.

Smiling, I kissed her forehead. "Yes, of course..."

After everyone had gone upstairs, I started clearing the table, taking my time. I slowly washed the large casserole dish and then loaded the rest into the dishwasher.

"Is anyone checking out this perfect ass?!"

Negan's voice made me jump. I hadn't heard him approach, and as I turned to face him, he was pouring two glasses of red wine as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

I had to process the shock for a moment, then I made a dismissive gesture with my hands as he approached me.

"You should leave, it's late... way too late..." I said as convincingly as I could.

The tall man stopped right in front of me and wordlessly handed me one of the glasses. I knew the sparkle in his hazel eyes all too well, and it made my knees weak.

For a while, he just looked into my eyes, then he gently caressed my bare upper arm with his fingertips. Goosebumps formed where he touched me tenderly.

"You were thinking about our first time earlier, weren't you? I could see it in your beautiful eyes..." he whispered softly, while his gaze roamed unabashedly over my body.

I swallowed hard and then looked at him feigning surprise. "No, I don't know what you're talking about..." Why could he still read me like an open book after all this time?

Instead of protesting, he smiled knowingly.

I needed to get away! Away from this situation that always led to the same thing. Determined, I took a big sip of wine and went straight to the small table in the other corner of the kitchen. I needed to create as much space between us as possible to be able to think a bit clearer.

I had left my cigarettes there earlier when I smoked one on the terrace while waiting. Now I took one out of the pack and lit it, leaning against one of the stools.

Steve had strictly forbidden smoking in the house, he didn't like it at all when I did, so I usually smoked secretly behind the shed in the garden. But right now, I didn't care. Steve wasn't here, only Negan, trying to ensnare me in his web once again, as he had done hundreds of times before.

"What's all this about, Negan? Do you need that reassurance to be able to get me into bed?" I asked directly.

Surprised, he looked at me, "Who's talking about me trying to get you into bed? You have quite the wild imagination, that's what I've always loved about you. ... That you were thinking about back then earlier was just an observation, my dear..."

Once again, he came directly towards me. I felt like prey caught in a trap. When he stood in front of me, I automatically spread my legs slightly so he could squeeze between them. I looked up at him, and without breaking eye contact, he took the cigarette from my hand, took a deep drag, and then tossed the rest into the last gulp of his red wine, causing a brief sizzling sound. Only a moment later did he exhale the smoke.

"Damn, you just keep getting more beautiful," he whispered, taking my chin between his fingers.

As often before, I just let it happen. Then he gently stroked my lips with his thumbs, and I tasted his slightly rough skin. It sent little jolts directly to my core, making me nervously shift back and forth on my stool.

"Do you often think about how it feels when I touch you, my sweet? What it's like when my lips explore this perfect body..." he asked in a deep voice, and I could only nod slightly. But then I tried to gather myself again. Gently, but firmly, I pushed his hand away from me and then said, "But it won't happen again, Negan. I can't make the same mistake over and over again..."

[perfectlovevn]

What would be the Milos’ (+any character u think would have a fun answer) favourite/most hated roles in Mafia (the group game) and how would they usually play?

I don't really know Mafia that well and the roles that I found were... kinda confusing, so I'm going to do a similar game called Blood in the Clocktower instead, specifically Trouble Brewing. My friend likes running that games, so I'm more familiar with it. Hope you don't mind.

PreMilo is definitely better at being a townsfolk with no real role. He would get really nervous playing the main imp role and would immediately be outed as suspicious unless someone was covering for him. I think for roles, he'd be either good as a one time informant like Chef or Washerwoman or even Saint, though if someone tries to contest him he may end up causing the good side to lose. He might also like the soldier role since he can never die from the imp.

Manipulation Milo hands down would be a great imp. He's really good at making other people believe in the lies and spreading rumors, also would be a good poisoner. Expect him to win a lot of games until the point where he constantly gets suspected at being the Imp even if he's not. He probably would find it boring playing on the good side and would purposefully mess with information just to keep it interesting. Even if it meant he got executed.

Violence Milo would be amazing at any of the more active roles like slayer, monk or soldier. I feel like when it comes to the game, he's always either right on the money for who the imp is or completely wrong and gets someone important killed. I don't think he'd be great at being the imp or a fortune teller because he'd probably end up outing himself and dying.

Eris of course is an amazing imp-probably even better than Manipulation Milo is. I think if they were the virgin they would always try to get a towns person executed, just for fun. I think that they would be the type to play to win, regardless of which side they are on though but they can use some pretty nasty tactics. It's very hard to tell if they're telling the truth or not.

Valli would probably be amazing as a fortune teller, empath or even undertaker because she loves collecting information. She's definitely the type that would only really do it to trade more information with others. She'd probably find playing someone like butler or soldier boring because she'd have to either follow someone's lead or not do anything. Probably could find out who the imp or any of the demons are pretty easily though.

Desmond is extremely straight laced so he'd be perfect on the good side. I think he's the type to take charge so if he had a role like empath, fortune teller or slayer, he'd do whatever it takes to help those on his side, and even if he didn't have an important role he'd still take charge. I think the best role he'd have is monk though. He would be pretty bad at being someone like a scarlet woman though because he'd probably end up outing his other demons. Could actually make an okay imp though.

Seph is generally pretty uninterested with this kind of stuff so if he does play he'd have to have a role that doesn't really make him active or is a one time thing like chef. I don't think he'd really care for something like empath but he might find ravenkeeper and undertaker fun. On the evil side he'd be good at poisoning people.

Ryan I feel like would be a terrible saint because everyone would want him dead and he'd just lose the game for everyone. Might be a good mayor or slayer though and on the evil side he would be good as a spy. I think as the imp he would be really annoying to debate with so people would just execute him because he's annoying.

[applecidershauna]

Inaccuracy in Yellowjackets – Lazy Writing or Intentional?

Lately, I’ve seen so many posts complaining about inaccuracies in Yellowjackets—more than ever. Why do they keep adding characters? How did they build their little village after losing everything in the cabin fire? What were the lanterns even made of?

Personally, I can live with minor mistakes or unexplained things if they move the plot forward or add something cool, but I’ve seen people justify them with another theory: that the teen timeline is unreliable because the characters have repressed or forgotten details about their time in the wilderness. This usually comes up when people talk about background girls suddenly appearing or getting bigger roles.

And while I get why that’s an interesting theory… I don’t buy it. Let’s talk!

Season 3: The Village and the Outfits

One big issue people seem to have this season is the matching outfits and hoods the girls are wearing. But honestly? I don’t think that’s unrealistic at all. You’re telling me none of them knew how to sew? Please. We already know they have assigned roles—some cook, some hunt, so why wouldn’t someone be in charge of making clothes? They clearly share skills and teach each other, too.

As for the materials, I’ve seen theories that the hoods are made from plane seats, and yeah, I totally see it! Super smart catch. Also, people forget how much time these girls have. Like, they are out there bored. Making clothes is probably something they enjoy or at least a way to stay busy.

The village itself? Honestly looks pretty realistic to me. Those stick-and-grass shelters make sense, and building shelter is literally a basic human survival instinct. Considering Tai was mentioned as being involved, it makes even more sense.

The lanterns from the solstice scene? If you look closely, you can see writing on them. So they could be made from schoolbooks, but I think they were probably from plane manuals or something like that. Oh, and the ducks and rabbits? Adorable. Completely believable. Moving on.

The “Suddenly Appearing” Background Girls

I’m not getting into recasting—that’s not intentional, that’s just what happens when actors have scheduling conflicts. But let’s be real: no one is actually appearing out of nowhere. People have already pointed out that during the funeral scene in the pilot, there were way more survivors than the ones we focused on. That’s just how background characters work. If they’re not important yet or don’t have lines, they won’t always be shown. Simple as that.

Some girls just weren’t as central at first and became more important over time—like Melissa, for example. Shauna even says in S3E2 that she didn’t realize Melissa had a personality, which basically confirms that she (and probably the other core girls) weren’t paying attention to everyone equally. They weren’t all besties from day one.

And let’s not forget: Yellowjackets, like every other show, has main characters—Natalie, Shauna, Lottie, Misty, Tai, and Van. The story is built around them. That’s just how TV works.

The “Unreliable Memory” Theory

The biggest reason I don’t buy the “trauma repressed memory” theory? I have zero reason to believe that what I’m seeing on screen isn’t the truth.

Yes, the teen timeline is often tied to the adult timeline, but the adults aren’t narrating it. Not all the time, at least. Sure, I believe they’ve repressed things or forgotten details, but this is still a TV show. If something happened, we see it. If the show wanted us to question the reality of what went down, they wouldn’t have shown things like Doomcoming, eating Jackie, or Javi’s death so directly.

And don’t even get me started on the “supernatural” events—the bear, Laura Lee’s plane crash, all of it. If anyone wants to talk about that, I will go off, but for now, I fully believe it’s all real.

[daemon-in-my-head]

I'm bored at work. Here's a step by step guide on how to properly crush Gortash's entire being by means of an old equal (in my humble opinion anyway).

Let him survive. There's ways. Get creative. It's imperative he does not die.

Make the old equal play a vital role in his survival. They should be taking a bullet for him, so to speak.

Set them up to rekindle and reestablish the old power imbalance. A murderous stray that eats out of his hand and vice versa. They did not change. They may look different but they're still the same. He needs to think this.

Now introduce a seed of doubt. Whether through a misunderstanding or a geniune flaw, both of them need to have a moment where they wake up from their grand delusion and realise something is wrong

Before they can actually determine what it is and how to solve it however separate them again. It needs to be fast, there should be open questions. The duration depends on how quickly both of them would arrive at the point of brutal obsession. They hate the seed of doubt, they hate each other, but they're constantly thinking about each other and they notice the absence quite painfully.

Now let it mellow out. Give them the faint idea of rest. Bitterness turns into resignation. We've been here before. They both survived last time, they will survive again.

Jokes on you, no rest for the wicked. They meet again. Both their obsession and hatred is back like never before. Even with the seed of doubt his old equal focuses on Gortash. He knows this. It's important he knows they still want him for *something*. Its the want he cares for after all.

Give in to the want in whatever way you see fit. They don't reconcile but they've matured enough to realise it's pointless to struggle against this festering "desire" of whatever kind they may hold. And being as pragmatic they as they are, it's only natural both of them would give in. Best yet let Gortash propose this. After all he knows them best. And he knows he likes being wanted (cuz yk abandonment issues we can exploit).

Let them have some "chill" time. Let Gortash revel in this geniune human connection he has acquired again. Let him fool himself into thinking he truly won it all now. He's at the top. He got his equal, his kingdom, he has everything he needs, everything he wants, his dream of a golden reign is within his grasp at last.

Now make Gortash fumble. Make him overstep the personal boundaries of his equal, just a little bit. Just enough to where it stings. And make them forgive him. Make it clear this twisted desire exists even if Gortash is not the perfect benelovent archduke but the petty bastard underneath. He's wanted even if he's cruel. He's wanted by them no matter what he does. They won't abandon him like everyone else did.

Now do it again. He fumbles harder each time but still within a certain limit. He's still desired and not hated. He's still wanted. He's himself and wanted. Now he truly has achieved nearly every single dream of his.

Now etablish some peace again. After all they do deserve it and Gortash isn't *that* cruel. He may not be able to realise everytime he fumbles, but he does realise when his equals need a break. After all he still knows loss. True loss. And he's not one to lose.

Except he absolutely is, make him fumble for "the greater good". He wholeheartedly believes what he just did is the best for everyone when it's really just him, but he's deluded himself so hard lately he could never realise it. After all they forgave everything else too. Surely they'll do the same now again. Except remember the seed of doubt? It's sprouted with each fumble.

Both love and hate can be something to be passionate about and sometimes the lines blurr and fingers move faster than the mind. It was nobodies fault. It was an act of passion misguided. Of a twisted desire. But what use are the equals apologies now? They won't fix what's broken. They won't fix what has long been kept together by nothing but vain delusions. He knows. He's always known.

But now he also realises. How this obsession, this delusion, this geniune human connection and his desire to be desired was the final, ultimate flaw, his hamartia. It was this twisted love he allowed himself that shattered his dream and they don't even seem to realise. But he does. Make him realise in the end being abandoned was the greatest favour he has ever experienced. Make him realise his parents were right and he should've thanked them. Make him thank them. Make him curse them. Make him unravel in those decades of hatred he allows himself only now. Make him spin one final, painful delusion. Make him realise he was never meant to be loved, nor share any connection. Make him suffer in the Banehold with this knowledge and no one to remedy it.

.......... Yeah this escalated. Anyway :)

[pentition]

As usual, SPOILERS AHEAD.

Been thinking about some things as I lurk on the My Time/Sandrock Discords and subreddits. It's a blast seeing other Pen fans out in the wild. Actually, it's super comforting. I'm so used to liking niche titles or characters that don't get the love or introspection they deserve, regardless of where they fall on the morality spectrum.

I'm usually lurking. Liking comments or posts because I'm a shy creature on the social front, mixed with low energy all around. But one thing I always appreciate is seeing peoples perspectives and taking time to consider them. It doesn't matter how much or how little I agree/disagree - in the end, my brain incorporates what it views as right. And what it disagrees with, I further want to know about - but also won't be bothered if ideas I have don't match others. Echo chambers are boring. I want to see people take ideas that don't match mine and see if they make them work.

That all being said, I've had something on my mind regarding Pen for a number of weeks now. Between Reddit and Discord, there have been such interesting perspectives on people who want Pen to come back but then get split on him being romanceable in the future.

I've expressed in previous musings on here that I think the Sandrock Builder and Pen's history is something I love, and it wouldn't be the same with another character. But I also kind of failed to elaborate on that. After having some cool exchanges and hearing perspectives from various sides, I think I've settled more on where I am. Not that it matters to anyone but me, but it's a fun thought exercise to write out in regards to Pen's character.

I still believe Pen and the Sandrock Builder's relationship is like, my golden child for three main reasons:

1.) It has conflicting emotions both positive and negative. You get a full range of emotions. It's vague enough to allow people to speculate which also giving enough for people to know there was something serious there. I say serious because even if it was a ruse, it meant something to Pen based on how farewell and what he left behind if you romanced him. While I believe in the symbolism of what was left behind in the chest, I'm also try to take into account on the what-if that it doesn't matter to the devs the way it matters to us.

2.) Imagination is important. When you have a character like Pen, who is so himself but still shrouded in mystery, your mind tries to fill in the blanks and make sense of things. There's what we get, what we perceive and what is mixed up in the middle. Whether it's making things more toxic to making them more sincere, there's so much possibility with a character like Pen. It's appealing and an endless chew toy for my brain.

3.) The potential. This mixes the prior two. But it really comes down to it, the history they have and that potential of what could be is why I adore them. All relationships will encounter bad periods, it's what you do during those bad periods that define the outcome. Potential is always a defining aspect in anything, it's not something that has a moral compass - it just is what it is. Which means it's versatile. Potential is important to me, personally, so when I see a character like Pen who has so much of it... it's hard not to pay attention. And in instances like this where so much plot can exist, it's hard not to get invested.

Because I am not a big brain person and sleep deprived, here's the sentence that shittily segways into the next talking point that'll eventually circle back on the prior.

The diamond ring. What if it wasn't for the Sandrock Builder, but for whatever Builder (or other role) the player will have in a future game? Maybe the reason it dropped for everyone (and not a bug) was a two-fold reason. If the Sandrock Builder romanced Pen, it could be intended for them. If they didn't romance Pen, maybe it was a set up for a future game where Pen is romanceable again.

So, future romance possibilities with Pen. That's the talking point here. I said that the Sandrock Builder and Pen are my ideal because of the reasons above. Interesting history, imaginative with its positives and negatives, so much potential. Of course, I can only be biased because I don't know and haven't yet experienced the possibility of what it's like for Pen to be with another player character.

That being said, and despite my preference, I'd still be okay if Pathea had Pen in a future installment as a romanceable character for another character. Characters should be allowed to develop as characters that don't hinge on the player. And given people don't always play the games in order, it would be kind of sucky/selfish to deprive anyone of a Pentacular (sobad) romance route.

I've run a character and story editor job online since I was fifteen, I've done a lot of work in this area with clients and with my own work. And I've also been a DM/GM for about ten to fifteen years now. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that characters aren't great because of the writers - but because of who they are and can become as characters themselves. Just look at the differences between the Chinese and English versions of Pen. Yet despite the differences all Pen fans have found that same foundation that breaches language barriers and different writing directions. That is incredible core character foundation and it's that potential that has made me so invested in his character.

My ideal is probably so dumb sounding of a compromise. But it would be cool to reintroduce Pen in a future game with a romance rival option like Portia had. As in, if you want to romance Pen then you can. But if you don't, he automatically will seek out the Sandrock Builder. I don't mean up and leave asap, but whenever he is done having a role in that game he'd head out to find them. If Evershine is going to allow the Sandrock Builder to possibly appear, then why not do the same there? Only problem is it would be tricky to do a reunion that way when people have different perspectives of how it would go. Especially depending on how long it has been. It's easy to say, 'just let the player take control!' but the thing is, if players haven't played the previous games before (as in, they are a new player to the series) it wouldn't at all make any sense to do.

And selfishly, I'd totally want to have a game right after that returns to the Sandrock Builder for a Pen return. But then, that's only based on if the Builder was close or romanced Pen. For people who didn't care or go that route, it also wouldn't make sense to do.

So for a Pen and Sandrock Builder reunion that matters, we'd have to play as that Builder again in a future game. Maybe that means the Builder has to leave Sandrock for whatever reason. But it would have to be a reason that makes sense for people who didn't romance or care about Pen, too. It's all just tricky.

Which is why I thought a lot about a Pen romance without the Sandrock Builder. Of course there's potential there. It's not the same, as much as I'd love to explore my duo having a reunion. But it's not terrible either, to me, at least. In any case, Pen needs some time to figure his shit out as a person. If that means he grows and lets go of the past romance, that's okay. If it means he wants to try and see if he can salvage things after his betrayal, that's also okay. I just hope the devs come around to taking their audience seriously, because so far their players that like other characters (like Miguel, Burgess, even Ernest or Venti) aren't treated very respectfully for the characters they/their builder likes.

This is mostly be just airing out thoughts in my head since I wasn't too happy that a prior post or two didn't elaborate that I'd be okay if Pen moved on - even if I really want to see things work out between him and the Sandrock Builder. Both have strong narrative possibilities, but I like the ups and downs of the latter and the potential of it more at this time. Maybe that'll change in the future, whenever that game comes out. Who knows. ^^

[salvadorbonaparte]

2024 in Films - Part III

I watched a lot of stuff again, some even for grad school.

August

Lola Rennt (1998) - banger soundtrack and editing

Vertigo (1958) - the most boring of the Hitchcock films I've seen so far

A League of Their Own (1992) - makes me want to watch baseball

White Men Can't Jump (1992) - did not expect jeopardy to be so important in this film, also loved the fashion

The Fall Guy (2024) - my mum loves the original series so we had to watch this and I had an amazing time

Blinded by the Light (2019) - the dialogue is strange at times but a banger soundtrack (obviously) and some amazing editing, very uplifting and I watched this on my flight to the US btw

Good Will Hunting (1997) - I watched this during my first week in Massachusetts before starting grad school here

Alien3 (1992) - this film says so much about gender, actually

Deaf Smith & Johnny Ears (1973) - taking lots of liberties with Texan history and also surprising homoerotic subtext

September

Causeway (2022) - a film that I originally only found meh but then kept thinking about all the time

Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979) - equally blood libel as the og with an added bonus of cycle of violence, might write an essay about this

Sleepaway Camp (1983) - another horror film that says so much about gender and I could write an entire essay about it

My Best Fiend (1999) - Werner Herzog must be studied under a microscope

We're All Going to the World's Fair (2021) - not as good as I saw the tv glow imo but asking some important questions about online communities and reality

Jacob the Liar (1974) - the film felt a little too empty but I also don't want to say something negative because I am still angry about a bad review I saw

Chris Grace: As Scarlett Johansson (2024) - absolutely transformed the way I think about stand up comedy

All Quiet on the Western Front (1930) - the old lie dulce et decorum est pro patria mori

The Shock (1923) - as ableist and racist as you expect from the 20s but with a great performance from Lon Chaney

Trap (2024) - I actually really enjoyed this, even though I was waiting for an even crazier plot twist

Don't Think I've Forgotten: Cambodia's Lost Rock and Roll (2014) - a documentary that nearly made me cry

Hudson Hawk (1991) - technically a rewatch but I need to speak my truth and it's that I like this film

All Quiet on the Western Front (2022) - I have so many issues that this would take an entire post or even conference paper

The Russians Are Coming! The Russians are Coming! (1966) - had me in stitches half the time, I love a good cold war comedy

The Bone Collector (1999) - spooky!

Monkey Shines (1988) - also horror and gender but also silly

Death in Venice (1971) - boring :/

October

UPSIDEdown (2013) - I watched this one twice, once with the director, also had lunch and coffee with him, I had an issue at first with how child protection service is portrayed but that part is apparently real, also he cast a neurodivergent kid, which is awesome

The Master (2012) - I love when men are also poorly trained attack dogs, also can you imagine sending that guy to the cult from Midsommar? Also still haunted by Philip Seymour Hoffman

Like Stars on Earth (2007) - neurodivergent kids need neurodivergent role models!!!

The Lost Honor of Katharina Blum (1975) - I have so much to say about this tbh

Farewell Disco (1990) - at first I found this kinda boring but then I was also enchanted by the inclusion of Sorbian culture

The Kangaroo Conspiracy (2022) - just read the books

November

Srikanth (2024) - fairly standard biopic, meanders a bit but solid soundtrack and performance

Innocent Witness (2019) - this one impressed me so much I recommended it to multiple people, also I'm an autistic person who is besties with my lawyer so bonus points for that, I could talk a lot about this too

Hunt (2022) - Probably less confusing if you know more about Korean history, fun plot twist and imo some homoerotic tension

Scarlett Innocence (2014) - tbh I didn't even watch the whole thing because I don't go for erotic thrillers, I just watched the scenes where Jung Woo Sung is a poor little meow meow

Inseperable Bros (2019) - some dialogue was a bit awkward but that might have been the translation, I like that this was about interabled platonic relationships

Remember You (2016) - the first plot twist is predictable as hell but the second one hit me in the face like a brick

The Childe (2023) - Kim Seon-ho has the range (creepy and babygirl) (covered in blood and coughing up blood)

The Good The Bad The Weird (2008) - not only the best western I've ever seen but also one of the best films I've seen this year at all

Sympathy for Mr Vengeance (2002) - very unsatisfying, but in a good way

As We Were Dreaming (2015) - the German answer to banlieu films, a film about the reunification of Germany from a different perspective than you're used to, despite living decades later and in the west I feel like I know these characters

Transit (2018) - the anti Casablanca, a double exposed picture of past and present, a Kafkaesque limbo of bureaucracy and loss of identity

Berlin Alexanderplatz (2020) - long, confusing, too smart for me and I still couldn't stop watching it. There's something very queer about this film too.

Wicked (2024) - I haven't seen the musical but went to see the film with my friend (and her family) and physically went 👀 to her every time something gay happened. I'm sorry I doubted you Ariana Grande.

December

Fly Me to the Moon (2024) - I watched this on a terrible transatlantic red eye flight and it entertained me. Unique concept but predictable execution

Debbie Macomber's Dashing Through the Snow (2015) - shout out to the Jewish biker guy handing out free puppies

Round and Round (2023) - Actually a really fun Hallmark holiday film?? And a nice twist on the time loop genre??

Wicked Little Letters (2023) - Very fun to watch on new years eve while tipsy

[duchessonfire]

Savior Carl!AU re-read Part 1 Chapter 4

Follow-up of my re-read of Part 1 Chapter 3. If you're not interested and don't want to have your dashboard spammed, you can block the tags Duchess reads and Savior Carl AU reread.

Commentary for Part 1, Ch 4 below the cut (spoilers for part 1 ahead):

I've been delaying writing this one, not just because life is hectic, but also because I have so much I could say about this final chapter, I'm not even sure where to start.

First of all, Carl's training with the rifle outside the Sanctuary. I'm really really happy I thought of that because it allowed me to show a lot through this simple activity. It might sound silly, but I always struggle finding Carl things to do around Sanctuary. Let's be real, I have no idea what people do in the apocalypse aside from the usual scavenging for supplies, growing food, fixing broken things and going through weapon training. It's especially hard to think of things at Sanctuary because most of the supplies they get is brought in to them from the communities Negan has subdued. When you're writing a long fic, the challenge is always to find new things for the characters to do, especially in a setting like the apocalypse. The Savior Carl AU is very much a huit-clos, a narrative taking place in a defined and limited space. Carl isn't allowed to go outside in part 1, so the whole story is limited to the space of Sanctuary.

This is both a strength and a potential weakness for the story. Because Carl is the focus of the story and because he stays inside the factory, things will get boring very quickly if his role doesn't change, if the parts of Sanctuary he explores are always the same. This is why the shooting practice in the parking lot was so useful to me: it gave Carl something new to do aside from the guard duty he had done until now and it allowed him to start interacting with the cast of background characters that make up the Saviors and workers of Sanctuary. Same goes for Carl's new job as Negan's assistant.

Now that I'm re-reading this last chapter, I do regret not paying more attention to the fact that Carl entered Negan's room for the first time in this chapter. It's not something I highlighted in any way and I am a bit sad about that. However, I am still very happy with the scene where Carl is looking at the bookcase in Negan's room:

His finger trails over the spine of a book decorated with a bird’s silhouette. “Good choice,” Negan says approvingly, suddenly right behind him, and Carl snaps his hand back. They’re alone in the room now, Simon gone and Negan’s leather jacket draped over the bed, leaving him just in a white t-shirt as he stands behind Carl. It’s truly messed up that all it took was two weeks for Carl to lower his guard around Negan completely, to the point where he can get distracted and snuck up on without any real effort. He remembers Shane telling him about something like that once, how the best way to lull someone into a false sense of safety is to give them a routine, a pattern to repeat day after day at the exact same time, until they lower their defenses, their brains already anticipating the next step in the schedule. He saw first-hand how true that was when Rosita managed to kill her way inside Sanctuary just by memorizing everyone’s guard rotations, armed with nothing but a knife and a gun with one bullet. He wonders suddenly if that’s why Negan gave him a schedule of his own, practicing every morning and then meeting him every day at noon. Was that part of the plan? Giving Carl a false sense of safety, making him lower his guard around him? But Negan just looks relaxed, perfectly at ease with his hands tucked in the pockets of his dark jeans, Lucille forgotten against the coffee table. He smells like soap and spicy aftershave, and his hair is still a bit wet from the shower he took after visiting Sherry upstairs.

This scene is so important to me. If you've been following my end-of-the-year wrapped up posts on Tumblr, maybe you'll have seen that the reason part 1 is tagged Carl & Negan and pre-Carl/Negan is because back when I was writing this story in 2021, I had seen a lot of awful people on Tumblr harassing Cegan shippers and so I was very afraid of writing a fic that was full-on Carl/Negan. Instead, I wrote part 1 as a story that would eventually become shippy, but not yet.

This scene, however, the bookcase scene, is one of the shippiest of part 1. I really wanted to show the new intimacy between Carl and Negan. Carl isn't just in Negan's bedroom, in Negan's private space, but he's comfortable there. So comfortable, in fact, that he doesn't even notice Negan walking up behind him. This is such a huge leap compared to where their relationship was before, the cat-and-mouse schoolyard bullying of the previous chapters. There is no animosity from Carl anymore, no cruelty from Negan. A symbolism that comes back over and over again in the Savior!Carl AU and which I've taken directly from the series is that Negan's leather jacket is an armor and a work uniform all at once. When he wears the leather, he's Negan the Savior, leader of Sanctuary. When he doesn't, he's more ostensibly Negan the man, less guarded and gentler to others. You can see that at several points in the series (he removes his jacket when he's with Carl and Judith in Alexandria but puts it back on when he's playing pool with Spencer, he doesn't have a jacket when he kills Davey to protect Sasha in the cell but he has it back on when he comes to check on her and sees that she put down Davey's corpse).

Carl and Negan have both lowered their guards around each other, and the personal space they keep around each other is similarly reduced:

“You can borrow it if you want. Nothing like a classic.” “It is?” Carl can’t help but ask, frowning back toward the drawing of the bird on the book’s edge. The design makes it look like a children book to him. Negan stares back at him in disbelief. “You don’t know To Kill a Mockingbird?” Carl shrugs, embarrassed at Negan’s tone.   “Seriously? You’ve never heard your parents talking about the book? Or the movie? None of your teachers?” “I was thirteen when I stopped going to school,” Carl says defensively. Negan blinks before sighing dramatically. “Well, at least you’ve never had to sit through a high school analysis of Gatsby. You dodged a serious bullet on that one, kid.” He stretches his arm past Carl’s head, and for a second Carl is trapped, enclosed between the bookcase, the wall, and Negan’s naked arm around him, every single one of the tattoos dotting his skin on display without the armor of his jacket. He takes the book out and hands it to Carl.

That single moment at the end is really the shippiest part 1 gets. Carl is already so aware of Negan's body (his tattoos, his smell, how close they are) while at the same time being in full denial that this awareness comes from sexual attraction. The more time these two spend around each other, the harder it becomes for them to stay apart, for Negan especially. If you look over part 1 (and parts 2 and 3 as a matter of fact), you'll notice Negan is the one always seeking Carl out while Carl has a tendency to find places away from everyone else to brood. This is how the sandwich scene happened in the previous chapter and this how another one of my favorite scenes happens: ✨the rooftop scene.✨

I'm not even going to attempt quoting it here because I'll just end up copy/pasting the whole thing. I love everything about this scene and it still stays with him as one of the most visual moments of part 1, right up there with the moment Carl was shot in the eye and he hallucinates the candy cane Christmas decoration while Negan carries him to the infirmary. Like the eye, the scene of the rooftop is a really pivotal one, and it shifts the entire dynamics of the fic. It's also one of the times in the Savior!Carl AU where I go off-script from canon and fill in the blanks of Negan's past.

“My first time was when I was nineteen,” Negan finally says, breaking the heavy silence left by his confession. Carl finally looks at him, surprised. Negan’s eyes are fixed on the horizon, obviously lost in memory. “I was in college. I had just gotten a scholarship to play football. I played everything back then, football, basketball, baseball, fucking ping-pong, you name it. As long as I was allowed to throw a goddamn ball I was happy. But I got a full ride to Ohio State and it was one of the best moments of my life. I was finally away from my asshole father and doing what I liked. It was the first friendly game of the season, and we were playing against some rich fuckers from a liberal arts college not far. Of course, it was college, so we’d all met at some frat party the night before and the trash talk had gotten out of hand before the game even began. Everyone was playing rough, and I mean it as in, it was a fucking bloodbath. So many players got injured that even my freshman ass got called on the field to play. We’re all riled up, the ref keeps threatening to cancel the match, some fucking cheerleader is crying in the background because her boyfriend lost two front teeth, it’s basically hell and I’m loving every second of it. And then… I tackle this guy and we both fall hard. I actually heard his vertebrae snapping when we both hit the ground. They stopped the game for good after that. I got taken to the hospital, because my fucking collarbone was shattered, but the other kid? Paralyzed from the neck down. And that was only if he was lucky enough to wake up from the coma the docs had to put him under.” Carl can’t help but be fascinated by this story, by this whole new side of Negan, without an ounce of sadistic delight for once, eyes still staring ahead, his face basked in the orange light of the evening. “He died the night before I left the hospital. I could hear his mother crying herself to death down the hall. It was messed up, for them, for me, for everyone involved. I mean, this wasn’t like how things are now. Back then, you were supposed to die at seventy of prostate cancer, or at fifty in a car accident, not playing fucking college football at twenty. After that, I couldn’t play because of the metal plate they put in me. Still have it,” he says, rubbing absentmindedly at the lapel of his leather jacket, right underneath his red scarf. “I lost my scholarship. So I went back to Virginia, got a degree from community college and went to teach P.E. in high school.”

Don't mind me going back on my word and quoting you this whole part. It's always a gamble when you're writing a fic for a on-going series because you never know if the headcanons you're adding will be disproved later. For example, when I was writing part 1, the 'Here's Negan' episode hadn't come out yet (it aired less than a month after I posted chapter 4 and finished the fic) so I had no way of knowing whether the past I gave Negan would have to be retconned later on. I'm glad to say that it holds up so far, Negan's reluctance to killing walkers in the flashback episode (which he says is because he's afraid to grow used to it) could very well stem from the traumatic event I gave Negan in the Savior!Carl AU. However, something that I was a bit disappointed about when Dead City season 1 aired last year, was Negan sharing a memory of his dad being a salesman and promising to take him on a trip to NYC as a child. This is in complete contradiction with the past I made up for Negan in the Savior!AU, where Negan's own relationship with his father is contentious to say the least. I haven't shared anything about that yet, but it will appear if I ever post a Negan's pov fic of the Savior!AU.

This post is running very long already so I'll wrap it up with one song: You're My Sunshine. Obviously this song is a very powerful moment in the Cegan canon so it felt very right to use it for the end of part 4 because it is both an echo to the Sing Me a Song episode and a reminder of Carl and Lori's relationship while, at the same time, the lyrics are very much reminiscent of Carl and Shane's relationship:

I'll always love you and make you happy, If you will only say the same. But if you leave me and love another, You'll regret it all some day. You told me once, dear, you really loved me And no one else could come between. But now you've left me and love another. You have shattered all of my dreams.

I wasn't sure at first I wanted to integrate a song in part 1 because song fic are a sort of commonplace in fandoms and I didn't think it would fit the vibe of my fic. However, when I paid close attention to the lyrics, I realized how apt they were for this moment of the story, for Carl and Shane's relationship to be severed for good, after Shane has chosen to escape with Sherry and baby Lori and left Carl behind. I also really loved the idea of such a romantic song being superimposed on what is arguably one of the most dramatic and disturbing moment in the whole of part 1.

Several people have pointed out in the comments that Shane has all but served Carl on a silver platter for Negan. The manipulation, the secrecy, the violence, all of those elements that Shane used to control Carl, those are the same elements that Negan uses in his relationship with Carl, making Carl go from the arms of one abuser to another. The difference being, of course, that Carl and Negan have a romance a true bond aside from Negan's mindfuck, while any real relationship Carl and Shane might have had died long ago.

Conclusion; tldr: This final chapter of part 1 is a gradual build-up of all the tensions that have been boiling so far. The more Carl separates from Shane, the closer he becomes to Negan, until the eventual killing of Shane by Carl became inevitable. The Savior!Carl AU is a dark romance but it is a romance, and to me what makes this story is great is how the dark and angsty aspects of Cegan are conterbalanced by true moments of bonding and kindness between the two characters. Some people in the comments have very rightfully called part 1 a corruption story or a 'start-of-darkness' plot. That is indeed what is happening, with Carl gradually falling more and more into the possessive clutches of Negan. Those clutches, however, also stem from a true care and affection from Negan to want to provide for Carl and to adopt him as his own.

PS: in chapter 4, Carl remembers Rick's favorite book being In Cold Blood by Truman Capote while Lori's favorite book was The Scarlet Letter by Nathanial Hawthorne. Those are little Easter Eggs I thought people who have read those books might appreciate when compared to Rick and Lori's actual storylines in canon (senseless violence in a small town being investigated and the lack of motive haunting the narrative versus a sexual affair that dooms its female protagonist and destroys her reputation and has lasting consequences in her community).

You can find the commentary for part 2 chapter 1 here.