#even when i wanted to go to university 'why dont you just go to community so you can be at home' I DONT WANT TO BE AT HOME HOME SUCKS WHY TF

[ilovettrpgs]

rip Magnus Carter you would have loved causing problems for the general public and also not having mad cow syndrome

[infinityonimmortals]

reading numerous reddit posts about abusive older siblings and parents not wanting their adult children to be independent has not made me feel better about moving out

[dovveri]

kidnapping 101

synopsis: who dared kidnap you? you were the mafia boss of your city who the hell had the audacity to pull a move this big?

warnings: guns, kidnapping, swearing, mafia stuff yk but like its comedic? so its not srs or angsty

w/c: 2.6k

a/n: put off posting this bcs i wanted to add more plot more word count but then that anon said they dont read long fics anyway so i cbb. it's implied momo x reader but it can also just be everyone friends yay

.ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊°.~♡︎

you had a straw bag pulled over your head and felt hands shoving you into a hard wooden chair, hands tied behind your back. you huff, unbelieving of the situation you've found yourself in, but try to keep yourself collected enough to assess the situation and to not let your attackers know they had caught you by surprise.

you doubt anyone could guess you were a mafia boss in your day life. you were just another university student after all. funnily enough, university students were also your main customer base, they needed cheap, accessible drugs, and you provided. though they never dealt with you personally, you were worth much more than rookie errand runs and simple intimidation.

so how the fuck did these people find out who you were?

you were captured coming out of the university library, you weren't even up to anything illegal today. you just wanted to get away from all the responsibilities underground and actually get some study done for once. you didn't get to catch a glimpse of your assailants before you were drugged and fell unconscious.

you strain your ears, trying to hear the muffled whispering going on.

"-what? what do we do now?"

"how am i supposed to know?!."

"i don't know you're smarter than me!"

"ugh oh my god i can't believe nayeon put us up to this. did we really just drug someone?! wait fuck- look she's waking up-"

the bag is pulled off your head and you snarl unceremoniously, blinking to adjust to the dim light in the room, quickly surveying your surroundings and tugging on your restraints to check on them.

huh. they were only loosely tied up, you could get out of these easily.

you squint at the two girls in the room, they had to be around your age, but you had never seen them before. they weren't on any of your watchlists and you'd know if they belonged to rival mafia gangs.

"who are you?" you demand, voice authoritative and loud, forcing them to shrink back into one another, unsure of what to do.

"w-who are you?!" one of them squeaks out.

you blink.

"you two drugged and kidnapped someone you didn't know?"

they exchange glances, before looking back at you, "well... when you put it like that..."

"momo!"

"what?! she's right sana! what are we doing?!"

"i don't know!"

"neither do i!"

you watch them bicker, fiddling with your restraints and slowly undoing them without catching their attention.

"okay that's enough. who asked you to capture me?"

their faces whip back to yours, one of them, momo, speaks up again. "um... i'm pretty sure we're not meant to tell you that."

"nayeon right?"

she gasps, "are you a mind-reader?!"

you scoff, "i heard you talking when i was waking up."

momo mutters to herself, blushing for having thought otherwise.

"who is nayeon?"

sana speaks up this time, "our friend."

"and your friend asked you to... kidnap me for what reason?"

"erm..." they look at each other again, silently communicating and nervously flitting their eyes around the room, "we're not entirely sure."

"are you two her slaves or something?"

"what?! no!"

"then why are you doing whatever she asks?"

"because she's our friend!"

"right... slaves."

they frown at each other, unsure of themselves.

"so you both don't know who i am?"

"no. should we?"

you're interrupted then, the door to the room opening loudly and another woman striding in.

she pauses when she sees you, blinking slowly, and then she turns on her heel, eyes ablaze and in panic.

"guys who the fuck is this?!"

"how are we supposed to know?! you asked us to kidnap them!"

"what the fuck?! i didn't ask for you to kidnap anyone! i asked for you to steal the answers to the exam next week!"

"no you didn't!"

"yes i did!"

"that's not what you said momo!" sana turns to momo, pointing a finger at her accusingly.

"wha- nayeon you told me you needed to interrogate the person who wrote the exam!"

"that was a joke momo i didn't mean literally!"

"you need to specifiy!"

"what?! why would you think i meant kidnap them?! that's not normal!"

"i thought you were doing it for the thrill or something!"

"sana! why didn't you stop her?!"

sana shrinks, hiding behind momo, "i dunno you've asked us to do some pretty weird stuff before nayeon... it wasn't that out of line."

"what!? like what?!"

"don't put me on the spot! i can't think of anything right now! like- like- like that time you asked us to set off fireworks and we ended up setting the school on fire!"

"that wasn't- you weren't meant to build a bonfire in the middle of an empty classroom! of course the fire would catch!"

"that was my idea...." momo pouts, looking adorably embarrassed.

nayeon sighs, turning back to you, "i'm sorry for all this. this has been a major misunderstanding. are you- do you want us to do anything for you? you won't take this to the police or anything right..?"

you chuckle, the situation absurd to you, how two girls managed to kidnap the most powerful mafia boss in the city by accident.

your thoughts are interrupted by hushed bickering behind nayeon.

"what are we gonna do about the drugs?"

"i don't know give them back to the person that gave them to you."

"they looked scary though..."

"momo why did you accept drugs from a random person anyway?"

"we needed a sedative to kidnap them!"

"you did what?!" nayeon flips around again, eyes comically wide.

momo flinches, backing up into sana who yelps when the other girl steps on her foot in haste, "erm- we- uh..."

"you drugged them?!"

"well-"

nayeon's flipping around to you again, going as far as to bow down and get on her knees, putting her forehead to the floor and apologising profusely, "i'm so sorry! i'll take responsibility for their actions please don't take this the wrong way we really didn't mean to and this has all just been a big misunderstanding-"

you can't help but burst into laughter, shoulders sagging in relief now that you realise you're not in any real danger and your identity was still safe.

they look between each other a little confused, still concerned you were going to turn them in or ask them to do something for you that would be less than ideal. you think it's very cute honestly, you were always surrounded by too-serious mafia security and people asking you what to do, it was refreshing to be around people who knew how to let loose a little. money was important to you as a mafia boss, but you wished your organisation knew how to have relax a little more, the bad guys were always meant to be more lively after all.

"sorry- this is just quite funny, i don't think i've laughed like that in a long time."

they exchange nervous glances again, keeping their distance. you stand, having undone your restraints long ago, stretching a little with a curious glint in your eyes.

sana and momo gape at you, "h-how did you- were you always- didn't we tie you up?"

you shrug, shaking your hands loose for effect, "they weren't hard to undo."

"o-oh... wait who are you again?"

you stretch out a hand to the three of them, "l/n y/n. nice to meet you all. and you can relax, i won't be pressing any charges. you're safe."

"r-right..." nayeon comes forward and shakes your hand gingerly, letting it go as soon as she could and shrinking back next to the other two.

you raise an eyebrow, "so where'd you get such a strong sedative momo? it's alright if i use your names right?"

"y-yes of course." nayeon responds for her, but momo looks back at you, thinking before she replies.

"erm... well i was kinda just asking around outside the campus bar- obviously i didn't say we were going to use it to kidnap you, i just thought uni students might have some sort of access to like party drugs or whatever. i didn't realise it was going to knock you out like that-"

"and who gave you this drug?"

"erm... he was one of the older students i think... the most notable thing about him was his hair. he had big orange hair, curly, it made him kinda look like a clown."

your eyebrows crease together in a frown, so that's why the drug had worked so well. it was one of your own. you were only asking momo to see if there was suddenly new competition around campus for your drug business, but it seemed kim heechul, one of your drug pushers, had made moves of his own.

"what did he say to you?"

"he just told me what kind of drug it was. he didn't even ask me to pay actually- that was the main reason i took it. he just said if i was looking to have a good time this would be the perfect drug for it."

your mind works quickly, piecing the pieces together, anger bubbling up inside you at the realisation of one of your employee's actions.

"a-are... are you okay y/n?" momo looks concerned, stepping forward hesitantly.

you purse your lips, "i'm sorry momo. i just need to make sure... you didn't take any of this drug for yourself did you?"

she frowns, "no. why are you asking?"

you breathe a sigh of relief, "that's good. you three may not know this, but the drug you used to sedate me was mine. i kind of... control the drug market at our uni. i probably should've said that in my introduction to you all. i'm a mafia boss. it's also why i'd never go to the police and turn you in, that'd probably be exactly what they wanted... me to waltz right into a police station where they could hold me indefinitely."

they stare at you in shock, slowly coming to their senses.

"wait so... why would you tell us this? are you not afraid we'll turn you in?"

you laugh, "no. because we're at what you'd call an impasse. you turn me in and i turn you in. so the best solution for both of us is to do neither."

"oh..."

"anyway, i'm sorry you had to go through that momo. the ass that gave you those drugs has already been on a short leash. he probably intended for you to take the drugs and to take advantage of you while you were out. i may run one of the biggest crime organisations in the city but i still have morals. i mean- don't get me wrong i can see why he'd want you you're drop-dead gorgeous but if it were me, i'd just ask you out like any other normal person."

they stare at you while you ramble, still trying to process all the information they were learning, and trying to match their stereotype of a mafia boss in their heads to the girl their age dressed in an oversized hoodie and fluffy pyjama pants in front of them.

momo squeaks, "o-oh!"

"-like you're kind of adorable and really you're just my type which also grosses me out because why do i have the same type as that clown kim heechul- like you don't gross me out sorry i didn't mean for it to sound like that although i think it's quite well established by now that i think you're really attractive so it's definitely not you and kim heechul is definitely getting shot and-"

"woah! woah woah slow down i don't think anyone needs to get shot- um and it's okay you don't need to apologise- i probably should've known better than to take free drugs from a random person on the street..."

you frown, "don't say that. why don't you come under me? i wouldn't want anyone taking advantage of you like that again. and you won't have to worry about stupid stuff like whether or not it's your fault for being adorably innocent, you'll have my full protection."

momo blinks, looking at sana and nayeon for help.

you misunderstand, thinking she's worried about her friends, "your friends can join too. it's decent money, and i won't make any of you do anything you're not comfortable with. i get it y'know? i'm only able to pay for college because i do this, and i'm good at making other people do the dirty work. dangle some drugs and money and people will do anything for you."

nayeon lets out a sound of disbelief, "...this is a joke right? like surely this is a joke. sana pinch me."

sana does exactly that, but nayeon yelps, "not that hard!"

"you asked me to pinch you!"

"yeah pinch me not crab claw me!"

"i just got my nails done it's not my fault!"

before you can laugh at their antiques the door behind them slams open, people rushing in with guns pointed. there's a few screams before hands are clamped over mouths and you feel yourself be surrounded.

you react instantly when you see one of the intruders grab momo by the neck, pointing a gun at her head. you lurch forward, pushing past the people surrounding you, knocking the gun out of their hand and hitting the back of it into the person's head, rendering them unconscious with the force of your blow.

you quickly check on momo, helping her up and inspecting her neck, fingers tingling from where your skin meets.

"boss- what- are you okay?"

"shut up! i was fine! god can't i have a single day to myself without you numbskulls barging in?" you bark with your fingers still daintily checking momo's neck for any marks.

"you- you were kidnapped boss we were just-"

"i'm fine now aren't i? i can take care of myself. i don't need you all watching my every move! i'd like to have some privacy to myself every now and then." you turn back to the bodyguards looking awkward and shuffling around in their bulky protective wear and guns.

"y-yes boss. sorry boss."

"wait for me outside." you sigh, flicking your wrist in annoyance, "and find kim heechul. i need to have a word with him." you add as an afterthought.

they shuffle out the door they came through, mumbling apologies and tripping over themselves. you roll your eyes, refocusing back on the other women in the room.

"i'm sorry about that. are you guys okay?"

they stare at you, faces tinged with red, nayeon speaks up first. "so you weren't joking..."

you shake your head, "and i'm serious about coming under me too. i'm kinda afraid to say it but if word gets out that i was kidnapped, some of my rivals might go out looking for you three and try to recruit you for themselves. they'll treat you a lot worse than i will. and they generally won't take no for an answer..."

"but you'll take no for an answer?" sana chirps in.

"like i said- i don't want to force you to do anything you don't want to."

nayeon and sana look between them, but momo shrugs, smiling up at you, "i'm in. i like you. you're funny."

you grin at her, justifying the immediate connection you felt with her just by being able to anticipate the kind of person she was.

"well if momo's in i'm in." sana agrees happily, slinging an arm around momo.

they look towards nayeon who rolls her eyes and groans, "someone has to make sure the two of you don't kidnap the wrong person again right?"

they all break into laughter and you join them, feeling like you had people you could almost call friends for the first time since you'd started your mafia business.

[apenitentialprayer]

i know that as a catholic you just have to believe with what the church says but i really dont like the belief of the original sin, i feel like its such a horrible thing to believe about yourself and about other human beings too

There are actually ways of legitimately dissenting from less essential Church teachings in a way that leaves you in good standing with the Church; I'm not sure if Original Sin is one of those things, though, to be honest.

But, anon, I'm going to offer another perspective here, starting from a quote (perhaps ironically?) from my favorite heretic. One of the things that James Carroll believes is that Original Sin has been given a bad wrap. In Constantine's Sword, he says:

I referred to Augustine’s assertion of the idea that the human condition implies a perennial state of finitude, weakness, and sin, all of which will be overcome, even for the Church, only with the end of time. [...] Augustine is thus regarded as the father of a severe, flesh-hating, sin-obsessed theology, but that dark characterization misses the point of his insight. His honest admission of the universality of human woundedness is a precondition for both self-acceptance and the forgiveness of the other, which for Augustine always involved the operation of God’s grace, God’s gift. Only humans capable of confronting the moral tragedy of existence, matched to God’s offer of repairing grace, are capable of community, and community is the antidote to human woundedness. Augustine sensed that relationship as being at the heart of God, and he saw it as being at the heart of human hope, too. This is a profoundly humane vision.

I wish I had understood the spirit of this quote when I was in high school. I remember learning in my World History class that Islam teaches that all children are born good, and then the world makes them evil. And I remember my teacher asking how that compares with Christianity, and I raised my hand and said that Christianity teaches that all of us are born evil. Because I believed that at the time. And, really, the whole framing of that question was wrong and gave really simplistic representations of what Islam and Christianity teaches, but I don't think we're alone in having internalized that understanding, anon. And that's a shame.

I thin it's important to remember the worldview that the doctrine of Original Sin is actively defending us against; there was an idea, that gets called "Pelagianism" (the poor guy it got named after may not even have believed it), that said that humans were capable of being saved on their own, by their own power. Someone on this site recently asked what people's thoughts on Pelagianism were, so you can read my thoughts here. But to keep it short and sweet, I think Original Sin is an important doctrine because it saves you from the need to be perfect.

There are ways to treat Original Sin that I think are certainly unhealthy, and I think the doctrine can be a source of anxiety and fear. But I also think, very deeply, that Original Sin should be a reason why we treat ourselves and especially our neighbor with kindness and understanding. I can look at myself and say "What I do, I do not understand. For I do not do what I want, but I do what I hate. […] For I do not do the good that I want, but I do the evil I do not want" (Romans 7:15, 19). And I can say that because I know I am ontologically wounded; that all of us have our weaknesses. That while we may still be in the moral wrong for committing a morally wrong action, our wills are compromised in a way that causes us to incline towards the comfortable and the easy rather than the good.

I wish I could go back in time and tell that class that Christianity does not teach that people are born evil. I wish I could go back and tell them that it teaches that we are born in a state of dis-integration, that we are wounded beings yearning for wholeness; alienated beings seeking everlasting belonging; beings lost in darkness, seeking the light. But I can say it now: the doctrine of Original Sin doesn't have to be an occasion to think you're depraved and without value, but it can be an invitation to come to terms with your own woundedness, because doing that (to use the words of Lutheran theologian Nancy Eiesland) "opens a space for the inflowing of grace and acceptance."

[simplydnp]

idk why this matters to me but in the last few months they've been acknowledging so many things I never ever thought they would. pinof and the touching. the phude multiple times. dapc slime (ok they had merch to sell for that one but still)

no but actually. phil literally said 'i thought we weren't acknowledging it' about the phude and now they just bring it up all the time.

pinof reacts... i still can't believe we're in a post pinof-reacts universe. how did that happen. i was changed permanently--like something shuffled in my dna when i got the notif for pinof reacts 1. this is not a physical reaction but a chemical one that cannot be undone. for something that was so... sacred. and integral. to their existence and history. pinof wasn't generally talked about unless it was pinof time. and even then it was 'it'll be up soon' or 'we just posted it' and then Never talked about outside of that. especially not the first one! we freak out about the We Know You Know in the newsletter but it's Always been like that with pinof 1. so to see them--new (& natural 🥺) hair for them both, in a house they bought and built together, in the first few months of giving the gaming channel a second chance--reflect on how it all began? absolutely devastating. and to lean into moments and discuss them in new ways. in territory previously not breached! the 'they're toUching'?!?!? the '11 hour fuck session'!?!? the '£9000 champagne'?!?!? like hey we're not supposed to talk about that, dan and phil might see!! shhh!! but they're the ones saying it!! absolutely wild.

in a way, it had to happen. especially with where we're at now (them literally selling merch of them holding hands). in order for them to move beyond that... mindset? i guess? that a lot of fans had, they had to defang it. i really see it as one of the biggest walls they've broken down in the way they communicate with us. the 'hey. it's okay. we've seen it. it's not a big deal. we will absolutely make fun of you for it though. but we're good.'

i'm just really curious whose idea it was. (lbr it was probably phil given dans not a react kinda guy. but i'd be lying if i said i didn't want to be in the room where it happened when they talked about actually doing it or not, and what it would mean) (big ad revenue thats for sure 🤣 get it kings)

i will never be able to get phil's 'they touched' out of my head and at this point i wouldn't want to. it's absolutely earned. and i guess it makes me a masochist to enjoy the psychic damage it inflicts on me, but such is life i suppose.

the crafts mention really surprised me! i had contemplated a few different scenarios in how they'd go about it, and i'll be honest i feel like they could've committed to the bit a little more but they're forgiven. like what about glitchy interstitials! cuts to the merch website. found footage inserted between sections! i recognize they don't want to 'scare' their usual audience wirh sudden cuts to intense/graphic content but my immersionnn. absolutely shattered by 'oh we have new merch now btw'. cmon boys you love to lie to us. say theres merch up but you dont know where it came from. just that we should buy it 👀 or idk, something clever. and i recognize i may sound like a spoilt brat bc i just got a 14 minute long masterpiece of an unexpected dapc revival, but my immersion. i mean i already bought the merch before they shilled it anyways so it didn't influence me regardless 🤣

ultimately we really are in a new era. even beyond just the revival. i think they're really finding their stride--not only in their content (evidenced by a semi-regular schedule) but also creatively, in doing what they want to do, how they want to do it, and truly not giving that much of a fuck anymore. and i'm really happy for them. phil talked a bit about this in his 'rating my icons' video, where he's kind of decided he doesn't care what people on twitter think, and how it's been good for him, and i think we're seeing that reflected in not only his content, but also the gaming channel. they play what they want. they say what they want. and it's just fun. dan going on the record to say he's really enjoying it makes me so happy to hear, because literally december 2022 he believed he'd disappear after WAD. and now, instead, he gets to play games and make stupid jokes and smile and laugh multiple times a week, and he's really happy about it. he gets to be silly and goofy and crude without having to Stress about it. i keep saying it but they're so settled now. and as someone who's followed them through big changes and turbulent times, getting to see them happy after everything... it brings a lot of hope. and i know theyre millionaires. but there's something to looking at someone you fell in love with 15 years ago the same then as you do now. but instead of it being something scary, something you have to hide, something that feels like it can consume you and everything you have--it gets to be something beautiful. and regular. and embraced. you've read this far you get to listen to me wax poetic about them.

we've been thoroughly boiled and maybe, just maybe, it's warming our hearts too.

[sassykinzonline]

sometimes its actually alarming HOW uncritically the naruto fandom looks at the text like because something isnt "shown" in canon/on-screen (it usually is, but just implicitly) people think it means it couldnt have happened and therefore making sweeping statements about the character like "theyre just weak" or "they make no sense"

as usual im going to focus on naruto (😌) heres an example but it applies to many others (itachi, gaara, neji, hinata,...me)

here are some things we know about naruto:

he is inexplicably talented at taijutsu despite having no mentor

he created sexy jutsu for attention from older men (he craves a father figure)

he is rather repulsed by affection aside from certain people

he relies on shadow clones to outnumber his enemies and protect him from damage, as well as acting like diversions (he only later on seems to learn to use them practically as well, and he doesnt use them as an actual team iirc)

he represses his memories and life severely if they cause him distress or negative emotion, and when he doesnt do that it causes him to lose complete control of himself in anger

some of these things are basic signs of a child who has been abused in multiple ways (particularly verbally, physically, and sexually), but also just logically how is it possible that naruto became proficient at taijutsu when he didnt train with anyone and had no teacher to correct him? why would it be important to naruto to have, what are essentially, human shields? why does naruto freely tolerate physical abuse he receives while others openly complain about it? why would that lead to naruto eventually wanting to defend/protect everyone in tandom with ANOTHER orphan who feels the same? why would WE not be able to have a clear directly depicted answer to this as a reader?

idk to me personally there are a lot of things people say are "headcanons" are just things they logically put together based on subtext, and theres a reason why a vast majority of people who read the same text come to the same conclusion. it seems like this is a lot less common in manga form (i dont read manga so i wouldnt know, i understand different mediums have different communication norms but some things are just literary basics), so its the first time ive encountered this "why does everyone believe in [some idea not said in plain english]? it's never said anywhere!" logic...it doesnt need to be. there are certain clues and patterns youre supposed to be able to draw conclusions for based on common life experiences (archetypes/universal symbols).

if you can do these above steps and come to a conclusion, and a plurality of people come to the same conclusion, it was probably intentional on the author's part. if the author explicitly states its not intentional, then sure, but that doesnt take away from how/why the story is impactful because the author may not even realize theyre doing it. an easy example i can think of is tsunade's fear of blood, where its meant to symbolize death, but in her case also ends up symbolizing love wrt her relationships with naruto and jiraiya. and thanks to blood gaining this symbolism through tsunade, when you see uchiha tears of blood, you instantly make those same connections. then you think back to gaara screaming about having never seen his blood (coming from his forehead where that tattoo of his is......), then the eventual resolution of that being an inversion of the symbolism the manga establishes when he battles his father during the war.

more than anything though i find it kind of concerning that adults sit around laughing at obviously what is meant to be traumatic. as if there arent people in your life who sit around with these same experiences and signs, with something they havent told you about because theyre afraid youll laugh at them.

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

i met with a good friend yesterday and it was really nice but something is bothering me and i wish it didnt.

so she has started to call herself a „queer feminist“. she kept talking about „queer“ this and „queer“ that and at some point talked about reading a „queer“ book. thats when i interjected and said what does queer mean? this tells me nothing. is it about a trans male experience, about a lesbian woman, this doesnt mean anything (turned out to be about a bisexual woman which is why she related which she probably wouldnt have if it was about a different type of „queer“ person). so i go on saying thats why i find the term useless. she says she finds it a useful umbrella term and i say umbrella for what? she says „what if for example a woman dates a nonbinary person?“ im like well it depends if the person is male or female since sexuality is still based on sex. what do i as a bisexual woman have in common with a straight man who thinks he‘s a woman? i dont see us as part of the same group. and while she wasnt able to explain the usefulness of the term she said she would keep using it. out of principle i guess.

and it frustrates me because she like many other women is an intelligent and reflected woman whose opinion matters to me but she seems to mindlessly parrot whats popular right now which makes me take her opinion on feminism a lot less serious. how are you a feminist but you think one can identify in and out of womanhood? who are womens rights for then? people who identify as women or people who are women? at the end of the day, if you think women can stop being women under certain conditions, i just dont know how you are helping the liberation of women.

i just cant take people seriously who earnestly use nothing terms like „queer“ and „nonbinary“ and who think me an extremist for not pretending the person we both know is a woman is a „nonbinary person“. it doesnt seem like she has thought about why its predominantly women identifying as nonbinary, and what background these people have (we live in a very liberal city and shes doing her masters in a program and at a university that is breathing queer theory). its like a virus, smart women suddenly regurgitating and internalising all this seemingly without ever considering the implications and consequences. and it creates a distance between women like my friend and i who definitely share a value system but i refuse to pretend and just accept.

she doesnt even know theres many lesbian, gay, bisexual and even trans people who dont consider themselves „queer“. „queer“ is its own community and NOT an umbrella term for same sex attracted or gender dysphoric people (who are already not a coherent group). depending who you ask, asexuals and intersex people are also included. which basically makes „queer“ another term for „different“ (which is its original meaning completely lost here because we are in germany and only use queer in this context).

and since we had debates in the past i already know where it will go when we talk about it. she considers me to be extreme anyways so we will start with her wanting to reject my opinion. it will end with her saying „i cant argue with that (my arguments) but i still disagree“ because its so scary to start questioning all that while youre in these super „queer“ environments.

[thatdeadaquarius]

Heyo, Idk if you still do sagau but I hope you do 🙏🙏 anyway, this is lowkey wholesome but imagine one of acolytes were trying to communicate with a child but then they realize the child is deaf but reader so happened to be nearby. So then, whatever the character is saying the reader translates into sign language and its just a wholesome sight to see. Btw srry if this isn't what you usually write 😓 add anything to this if you want

OH NO THIS IS EXACTLY ALL THAT I WRITE RN ANON DW MY LOVE 😍

(*update: im so stupid i thought ur sunglasses pfp was a anon and didnt look any closer💀i aint livin this one down)

(Spoiler: i do plan to do imagines for other fandoms bc i have such niche AUs or ideas for them, a lot like this whole language stuff for Genshin Sagau :D )

IVE WANTED TO LEARN ASL FOR SO LONG BUT I HAVENT GOTTEN THE CHANCEEE theres no classes for it where i live ;/

THAT IS TO SAY I LIVEEE FOR COMMUNICATION STUFFFFF

Also srry its kinda short i just could only think of this cute little scenario- 😗

Rest in peace bc i have a whole fat post i wanna make about neurodivergence + general accessibility issues in Teyvat and their countries

Like where r the ramps babe

Where r the non-narrow ass doors

Why r we just constantly made to hike up mountains when we dont have to

And dont come at me with that,

"Theyre in their medieval age! They cant make stuff like that!"

Yeah, u right, they cant.

If they dont be ✨️creative ✨️and they dont use their fucking ✨️magic ✨️

Liyue got floating rocks and they cant make a goddamn disability elevator?? Bitch tf?

THAT IS TO SAY IN A VERY RANTING COUGHPASSIVE AGGRESSIVE AT GENSHIN COMMUNITY FOR NOT REPPING DISABILITIES MORECOUGH

WAY OF SAYINGGGG

Literally almost no one gets sign language in Teyvat

(despite the fact that in my perfect teyvat, sign lang. is superior bc everyone could make it the universal lang. ESP if we go by the cool AU of diff countries have diff languages, like Germanish lang for Mondstadt, Frenchish for Fontaine, etc.)

Off topic again srry-

◇

But you took a class once!! Or even checked out the alphabet and casual convo on ur own time :D

So u just chillin with Kazuha, Thoma, Sara, Gorou, and Kokomi (they vistin the main island to see u!! :] )

Meanwhile a little girl is walking around nearby, and is kinda going in circles

Almost like shes scared to go too far one way or the other,

So being the caring soul he is, (rlly all these boys here rn would notice and help lol)

Thoma comes up to her and squats down trying to talk to her :)

...

Yeah, she didn't say anything, just kinda,,

Motioned with her hands??

She looks like shes doing some kind of code to them..

Oh!

Thoma finally recognized this, its that hand language!! lmao hes got the spirit

so he asks Kazuha to try and see if he knows it or can even figure it out-

Nope. Nada de nada.

Then Kokomi, Sara and Gorou (whos a sweatin nervous mess he doesnt know how to act around kids esp kids in distress he seems like the type lol)

They all fail, Kokomi looks concerned bc she thinks the kids lost, but there no frantic parents nearby, Sara is trying to slowly understand what motions mean what i.e. points to a rock = learn sign from child etc,

Kazuha is trying to get the wind to help locate upset guardians nearby, and Gorou...

... is just 🧍‍♂️

LMAOOO

◇

So after a minute of this (bc u had originally been away at a street food vender, hey those dango were rlly good dont judge urself)

U come back, and see this mild flavor of chaos-

And are just like

"Oh ffs- just shoo, i got it guys"

And just, slowly, go thru some signs with the little girl to get the keywords at least

She lights up and is like bouncing, she goes hella fast at first but slows down when she gets ur hearing

Either way, she looks a lot happier now

U explain for her to the others to confirm her parents got seperated from her

She got lost and where she last saw them

u finally help escort her to the street she last saw her parents on :] !!

◇

Meanwhile the whole allogene group, shopkeepers, and Inazumans around you:

😦😯🥰🥺💓💞💘💖

Kokomi is holding back a squeal, shes gotta keep up her image, ahem-

Sara is like,, minutely vibrating?? Lmao

Kazuha is watching u like a fireworks show, intensely and yet fascinated

GOROU'S TAIL IS KINDA WAGGINGGG AW LOL

And Thoma just looks like a puddle of affection, just absolutely melted (he loves kids + he secretly loves you = dead Thoma)

Other people look weirdly, proud? Like theyre like "yeah thats our god, fuck yeah, knowing diff languages, go off, Your Grace 💅 " LMAO SORRY COULDNT RESIST and also some fascination

♡

Anyway, 2 very stressed looking dads see yall and the girl and one of them run up to hold each other

She starts rapidly signing, explaining to her dads the adventure she had and the cool people she met <3

The dads look at u and r like 🤔😶😱 "YOUR MAJESTY??!!" (VIGOROUS HAND MOTIONS)

They sign like,

"We're terribly sorry about you seeing us like this, we usually are much more together than this, a crowd just swept her off, its very busy today. Thank you so much for helping our girl, my Lord!! 😭😭"

Theyre like almost crying, oh geez, u reassure them and sign back that it happens to any parent at some point and that is matters more that they tried to get her back :]

◇

Meanwhile the rest of the group and the citizens are just watching yall like its the most amazing Olympic level tennis match in the world LMAO

Heads all in sync, watchin yall like 👋👍🙏LMAO IM SORRY

AW IT SUCKS ABOUT WRITING BC I CANT RLLY DEPICT SIGN LANGUAGE AS COOL AS I CAN IN COMICS OR THRU ART

THE EMOJI HANDS NEED SIGN LANGUAGE DAMMIT-

♡

🎵 Hi, it's me. I'm the problem, it's me. 🎵

That is to say none of yalls asks r eaten up, at least im pretty sure? Dw abt it im chugging along having the time of my life hehe >:)

Yall are fEEDIN ME TONIGHT!!

Hope yall r having a good weekend and have no hw if ur in school, or i hope ur shift goes good tomorrow! :]

Love yall!!

Cheers,

🌒🌧🌊Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

[wszczebrzyszynie]

could we learn more about przemek? his design is so cool and he’s always interested me.

(I made a list of specific questions but it’s.. a lot so obviously no pressure to answer them all!)

How has his injury affected his personality?

Why is he in the manor?

Whats his relationship with Mikita like after he realizes he isn’t actually a ghost?

Hows his relationship with his queerness?

What is his and Ryba’s relationship like?

What was growing up like for him?

(Sorry for all the questions I just feel like I see Przemek so much and know so little about him!)

the thing about przemo is that hes definitely a character creation-wise* but in universe hes just... a guy? youd think hed be way more interesting with his design and its just not really true. Hes meant to be unremarkable even if everyone is looking at him in the street. At least he clearly looks like the protagonist...

as with all long oc things everythings under the read more

The thing about the accident is that it didnt change him all that much, really, it just made his general being more... difficult. Przemek (as well as his sister) live by the belief that they need to be useful to their community, and without usefulness they are worthless. Combine that with the freshly abolished feudal system (yes the story takes place in 1890s, but feudalism in russian empire, which took the part of poland the story takes place in was only abolished in 1861, and thats in theory? because in practice the further away from big folwarks you got the later abolishment was taken into account. In Przemeks case, he and his 22 year old brother were the first ones to work in a factory without being forced to work in the countryside) and how important working in a factory was for him to help and provide for his family, and you can see how his self esteem got lower. While his knee pain doesnt make factory work impossible, and Przemek is... way too inconsiderate about himself to acknowledge that he never wants to work in any factory ever again (thinks its a sign of weakness), it is harder and his family would prefer having him somewhere close. So, after being recommended by Ruta Andrushko**, Olehs older sister, he was taken in as the gardener. People at the manor dont really... background check. Its a very specific place

His relationship with Mika can be described as Bad and that is mosty Mikitas fault. Wont go into detail today because we will be here forever and this thing is already unreadable to anyone but me. That being said their one cool moment before he realizes he is not a ghost is when he tries to perform a very butchered version of dziady that Ryba (who is, if you dont know, jewish and blisfully unaware about both christian and semi forgotten slavic customs popularised mostly by a 19th century novel. Wasocz is a 50% jewish town after all) helped with. In the end Przemek got scared and just left him a bowl of groats and eggs before the attic door.

His relationship with Ryba on the other hand is definitely nicer and more friendly, and they later become lovers. I think its worth mentioning that Przemek did not like him in the beginning because of the internalised issues Przemek has with himself, but quickly learned that Ryba is too nice for their own good and being mean Feels Bad. Ryba serves the "anchor" role in the story; it is the only character that i wouldnt consider lonely and who worked his way out of the loneliness. hes very community focused and has a not-directly-loneliness-related story arc to go through, so when it comes to the main theme of the story, he is there to help both Przemek and Nika. On the topic of queerness its one of the many traits Przemo cannot bring himself to even acknowledge. hes very good at ignoring things

*what i mean by that is that hes the most messy character in the story despite being one of the main ones. He is my absolute favourite. Hes literally just a guy. I made him when i was 14 and based his design on an idv character and later on an omori character and you can very clearly see who am i talking about. He was silesian coded when the story was taking place in a different dystopian-royalty world very inspired by an anime i feel like no one besides me ever watched called gosick because it was my favourite when i was 12/13. Hes the most beautiful oc of mine. I still dont know what his ethnicity is and its driving me insane. Mostly polish obviously but i think it would be insane if he had balkan or middle eastern heritage. He is the main character. Thank god im never making dns into a comic **this is Olehs family and their surname is probably written differently in the original story and the modern au. Im using the official ukrainian transliteration here even though im guessing their surname would be written the way its read in polish (Andruszko), as i suppose my ukraine-born great grandmothers surname (Zańko) was polonised down the line. this is not an area i made a lot of research in i am just saying things

also by god i feel rusty when talking about history here so im sorry if the terms arent really correct. it is 3am good night

[peachkkuma]

𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆 ˖ ࣪ ✧ ˚ ࿔

𝑻𝑰𝑭𝑭𝑨𝑵𝒀’𝑺 SIGNING OFF : last tumblr post 07.15.24

𝑶𝑳𝑫 𝑷𝑰𝑵𝑵𝑬𝑫 𝑷𝑶𝑺𝑻 : ꒰ 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆 𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓 ꒱

╰─▸ dark mode recommended

• explanation + goodbye post

⠀˒ ⊹ ݁ ִ   𝑫𝑬𝑨𝑹 𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑬𝑹…

hello, hope you’re doing well! i’ll get right into it, this is the end of my posts for now. i never really had any sort of big idea or expectations for this blog but i definitely never thought it’d only last four months, or that it’d have so few posts (my drafts on the other hand are a different story lmao).

i had made this blog because i was struggling with the law and needed to get out of my head. im really big into journaling, it helped me get my thoughts in order and i wished i had something like that but for the law. something that would allow me to observe and work through my troubles with the loa. that’s when this blog was created, that’s why i had made this my loa diary.

this blog had given me a space to see where i was going wrong and allowed me to have my own epiphanies. but despite the fact that i made this blog and its posts for my own sake, i hope something here has helped, encouraged, or just gave you something to relate to.

im ending this blog for now because i don’t need it anymore. my last entry was a month ago and since then i have had my fair share of struggles and confusions but lately, its all been kind of…calm ig. i dont know how to explain but it all just makes sense? like, the law is the law, its not this never ending complex theory. it’s a universal law and all the information has already been laid out for me. all that’s left for me to do is to learn and apply. idk but i think I hadn’t realized that before. i always felt like as soon as i’d make sense of the law, i’d read another loa post and all of a sudden i was wrong. it felt like learning the law would be a never ending journey. that I’d never truly grasp it on my own. but I don’t feel that way anymore. I think that mainly has to do with me just being in this community for years, so ofc sooner or later I’d get the hang of it, but I also think that it has a lot to do with me cutting down my time on tumblr tremendously and focusing on Neville’s works.

so, yeah, there’s nothing for me to “figure out” anymore. i don’t need to read anymore loa advice posts and there’s nothing else i have to discuss about the law anymore. if you’re gonna take away one thing from this post— remember that the loa is simple. there’s no need to overcomplicate or overthink it.

for a while it felt like i was almost fighting the loa. i didn’t want to accept that it was as simple as it was. but the lesson I’ve learned now is that regardless of how i feel, the law will always be what it is. there’s no need to make it harder or overcomplicate it, dont distract yourself by doing that. if i could go back and give myself advice, i’d tell myself to accept the law for what it is because there’s no way around it. if you can’t do that then you might as well stop trying to use the law because what’s the point? 🤷‍♀️

tldr: I no longer have any need to be on loa tumblr so im signing off :)

even tho im happy the law isn’t hard for me anymore, im sad to be leaving this blog 😭😭 thank you for reading and goodbye!!

kisses, peachkkuma

[killsaki]

stay home ☆ you want to go out, but your step brother has other ideas.

ran haitani x f!reader

2k words | minors dni

cw / tw : stepcest, dubcon, fingering, oral (f! receiving, exhibitionism-ish, jealous/possessive undertones. — be so incredibly nice or i’ll deactivate.

“you’re not goin’ out in that, are you?” amethyst eyes peer over at you from where your step brother is sitting on the couch. it makes you stop for a second, pursing your lips while squinting at him, blinking a few times to hopefully convey your loss for words.

“now, why would that matter to you?” you tilt your head, shaking it. ran has never cared to speak on any decision you made before. not who you chose to hang around, when you chose to leave, and especially not what you wore. but ever since you came back from college, that seems to be all that comes out of his mouth.

“because ‘m older,” he shrugs. this summer is supposed to be for you, your dad and ran’s mom have vacations lined up back to back for the majority of it. so, you were going to do whatever the hell you wanted in your hometown before you transferred from your community college to the major university across the country—at least that was what you had been planning for the last two months. “and you should respect your elders.”

he doesn’t move from his seat, just spreads his arms along the back of the couch, rolling his head to look up at you, waiting for your eyes to meet his own before he gives you a small, disingenuous smile.

“and maybe ‘cause my mom told your dad i would keep an eye on you while they’re gone.” he turns back to whatever he had playing on the tv, raising his hips to adjust his seating.

“i dont need you to babysit me.” you grumble, walking towards where you lanyrd hangs by the front door to escape the conversation. only, of course, your designated hook is empty. “haitani.” 

“oh, guess you need these to leave, huh?” he doesn’t look back as he holds up your keys, shaking them tauntingly before wrapping the lanyard’s material around his fingers and pocketing them.

“give me my keys.” you sigh, dragging the words out like a pleading child. you already know this is going to be useless, if you learned anything from the past six years you’ve spent as a stepsibling to the two toned haired man, it’s that he gets off on tormenting others.

“i’m just looking out for you.” he almost sounds sincere, but then you make the mistake of looking at him. and even with the distance between you and where he’s now standing beside the couch—you can make out the look of sadistic amusement written all over his face.

“you can look out for my foot when i put it up your ass.” you smile tighty, making your way towards him.

“nah, i’m not into that.” he shakes his head, clearly not bothered by your words or the intimidating look you’re trying to give him.

you give up on talking, finding no use when everything that comes out of his mouth is just to tease you. he meets you in the middle of the kitchen, as soon as he’s close enough you try to get your keys, shoving your hand in his sweats pocket, but you find nothing—well, not anything metal. you find warmth, something much rounder, softer than your keys.

“pervert.”

with wide eyes and burning cheeks, you draw your hand back, pressing it to your chest.

“i just—i want my keys.” you blink, face burning as you look everywhere but up at the deep lavender eyes you can feel staring down at you.

“i know you just watched me put them in my other pocket.” you can feel your stomach turn at how he speaks so coolly. “if you wanted to touch my dick you could’ve just asked.”

“what?!” you cringe, finally looking back at him. “you’re disgusting.”

his eyes are low, an eyebrow raised, long braided hair accentuates his face. you realize you haven’t stood this close to him since you’d arrived, only now recognizing how different his stature is. he’s always been tall, but the few inches he’d grown, plus the weight he’d put on—it’d made all the difference.

“you’re the one who grabbed my dick.” he does that stupid shrug again as he licks his lips, not bothering to fight the smirk that plasters itself on his face. no longer bothering to hide how much he was enjoying tormenting you.

“on accident.” you retort, eyes falling to his other pocket, hesitant to try to retrieve the keys again.

“aw, sure.” he nods his head, looking back towards the living room—glancing down at you for a split second before walking that way, and like a needy toddler, you pad behind him.

“i didn’t mean to.” you argue again, though you know, that he knows that you really didn’t.

“whatever you say.” is all you get back.

“just give them to me!” you nearly run into his back when he suddenly stops just before the couch.

“okay,” he turns back to you, keys in his palm, pulling them out of the pocket they definitely were not originally put in. “you can fuck me for them.”

your jaw physically drops. you can only blink up at him. he looks down at you, head tilted to the side as he wants for your answer. your lanyard stays wrapped around his hand—the metal resting in the center of his palm, just an arm away.

“eat shit, haitani.” you try to put more bite in your words—but they come out weak. your arm extending in an attempt to snatch the keys, but he pulls back that much faster.

“gross.” he sneers, “you into that?” 

“you’re awful.” your face scrunches again in annoyance. “we’re related, you fuck.”

“hm, but we’re not?” he says it so cheerfully, like he’s so sure of himself. you’re sure he’s delighted you’ve been playing so far into his game.

“can i please just—” you try reaching for them again, to no avail. this time though, ran catches your wrist. you have no time to pull away before he bends it behind your back and uses it as leverage to push you down over the back of the couch.

“what was that?” you can feel his breath as he talks by your ear, body folded over your own. “please what?”

“ran—“ you cut yourself off with a gasp as you feel his dick rub against your ass.

“yeah?” he leans back, grinding his waist against yours. your tight clothing makes it easy to feel his hardening cock. “thought i was gross? you’re begging for me now?”

“as if,” you try to push yourself up, to jerk free from his grasp. but all that training has to be good for something. “just let me go ran!”

“aw, but you’re getting wet,” he notes out loud, his free hand coming between the two of you to adjust his cock so that it was pressing against your cunt with each roll of his hips. “‘can feel it through this stupid fucking skirt.”

it makes you pant, the warmth of it, the thickness—the dirty dirty thought of getting turned on this easily, and by him of all people.

“really want me to stop?” he asks softly, seemingly giving you an out. but the heat pooling between your legs, the image of his soft lavender eyes as you look over your shoulder at him, the way his eyelids hang low with lust, it clouds your mind too much for you to be logical.

you bite your bottom lip as you shake your head, keeping eye contact as the stupid god damn smirk reappears.

“yeah?” is the only thing you hear before the sound of ripping material.

“ran!” 

“shut up,” he tears the skirt a bit more, right down the seams it feels, and all you can do is lie there. “hate this shit.”

you’re about to open your mouth to say something else, to chastise him more but the press against your slit steals the words from your tongue.

“now these,” he runs his finger up and back down, pressing the wet, soft lace into your skin. “i like.”

you close your mouth, biting your lips in an attempt to silence the pathetic sounds building in your throat the second ran peels your underwear to the side. but it almost immediately becomes impossible with the way his fingertips feel against the most sensitive part of you.

he takes his time, pressing small circles around your clit and making your knees wobble before retracting back to tease your entrance and watching as your hips try to push back on him.

“ran, please.” you drag out, impatience coursing through your veins right along with the small bits of pleasure he’s allowing you.

“now you are begging for me.” he chuckles lightly, but gives in and presses his middle finger into your cunt down to the knuckle. “thought i was mean? or was it disgusting?”

he adds another before you can even think to form a response. you can feel every curve of his slim, long digits as they drag out of you slowly before he presses them back in and rolls his wrist. nowy you do press back on them, trying to fuck yourself on them, desperate for what he’s not giving.

“so desperate, i thought you didn’t wanna fuck your step brother?” you hear his voice lower, feel his body crouch behind you. but the hold on your wrist, the fingers in your heat don’t move an inch. “who’s gross now?”

he nudges your legs apart with his knees, and however he does it—you can’t see anything but the black given to you by the couch cushion you've shoved your face into, you feel him lick up his own fingers, lick along your slit and attach his lips to your clit immediately sucking in pulses.

“fuck, fuck—” you can feel your legs about to give out, and he must feel it too because the hold on your arm is gone and is now bruising at the curve of your ass. he kneeds at the soft skin, as his other hand starts to rotate, fingers curling in against your soft walls in attempt to find that spot that’ll have you creaming on his face.

it only takes seconds for him to find it, even shorter for you to start chanting out his name as you grind down against him. doing all you can to hold yourself up, you can’t even think about the feeling of his stupid fucking lips smirking against your pussy as he brings you closer and closer to the edge. because even as your legs quake, your cunt spasms and gives him what he’s been working for, he doesn’t let up.

you attempt to move away but you’re far too weak in the legs, too weak everywhere to even really try. thank god your phone rings from where it somehow fell on the floor.

“yeah?” you hear him answer, though his fingers still push against your clamping walls languidly. 

“no shit, this is mitsuya, huh?” he laughs darkly, pushing his fingers deeper, rougher inside you and it makes your stomach drop. “nah, my sister’s not coming out tonight.”

you hear silence behind the speaker between your overstimulated pants, and then ran is up again, fingers withdrawing from your cunt. and you try to catch your breath, but your sweet step brother doesn’t give you a chance before the phone is held up to your ear.

“go on, tell him you’re not coming out.” he says, moving behind you to drop his sweats.

mitsuya says your name through the phone hesitantly. you were supposed to drive across town to meet him and his friends, spend the night at his place. and you knew it was a bad idea the moment you agreed to it, that ran—even as nonchalant as he was about you before—would most definitely be pissed if he was to find out. and if you weren’t dripping down your thighs with arousal, your mind wasn’t fuzzy from the movement of ran loudly running the tip of his heavy cock along your slit; you probably would bite your tongue right now before giving away that you were fucking your stepbrother.

or maybe you’d question why ran didn’t have that much of a reaction to who was on the line.

but the feeling of him kissing your nape and lining himself up with your entrance pulls all thought from your head and you rush out something so you can just get the fuck off the phone and fully focus on pleasure.

“‘can’t come out—” you gasp as he presses the thick head of him past your entrance. “i have something to do at home.”

repost of a repost ! (my fic tho!)

comments + feedback appreciated !

[the-bjd-community-confess]

I joined the hobby with my sister in early 2003. We both got our first dolls at the same time but I hated my doll (she arrived blank) and I decided to not join the hobby because I hated the doll so much. My sister stayed active, but passed away in 2016, in which I got my first doll back when they were passing the inheritance and arranging everything. That was my reintroduction into the doll hobby, to connect with my sister in a way.

Enjoyed making friends with people in the community, generally found the community peaceful and positive. I liked playing and taking pictures of my dolls and was interested in trying OC and the biographies people posted because it looked fun.

in 2022 the rest of my family passed away in a car crash. Its been difficult for me to accept this and I keep going into states of "if this" or "if that", and I tried to connect to the hobby but I couldnt escape reality. It didnt help that my fathers side of the family were relentlessly trying to put a conservatorship on me, have me put in a mental hospital and seize control of me, my assets and finances forcing me to go to a psychiatrist and take medication just so I can have freedom and avoid them.

I decide to try and cheer myself by going to a doll event on holiday and get a chance on a doll that is coveted by a niche in the community, as in limited to a few dolls a year that you can only get in person in a certain location on certain dates by a lottery. This is a doll Ive been obsessed with getting, having won two YJA auctions for her (you arent supposed to buy them secondhand or sell them), only to have the sellers always refund the proxy. I won this doll, on my first lottery entry and I feel nothing.

I met two people and one was extremely kind, and the other that I thought I had a connection with was just disappointing to meet in person. Gossiping about people the whole time, including the person that was also there with us, always talking about why they were better than so and so because they did x. Talked about entering the lottery many times but always losing and not to get my hopes up because they dont pick nonresident foreigners. She also suggested I bring in someone to increase my chances, but I said I wanted to play fair and she shocked me when she said good answer; like it was a trick suggestion or she was waiting for an aha moment.

The pure anger on her face when I was called the winner, and then the comment about them picking the lottery winner like I was supposed to feel bad that I was picked instead of randomly chosen was weird to me. I just brushed it off as me being paranoid. Its not jealousy of the doll, but I think anger that they picked someone she saw as unworthy (me). She even called me a whale, but I just ignored the comment because I know Im not even remotely chubby back then.

Then she said something about how maybe this was the universe giving me a present because my whole family passed away a few months ago (at that time). This was the first time I told someone in the hobby about my familys passing and I felt completely emptied? deflated? by the comment. They may have not meant it to be negative, but I felt repulsed. TBH, I havent even taken the doll out of the box since getting her because I keep remembering that comment made. They probably didnt mean much, but it stuck to me. I cant even look at the doll's box without feeling sick. I just remembered this because its been a year + and I saw someone being annoyed that a oneoff winner didnt post an opening even though its been a few months, and now I feel worse because its been a year of her in the box.I was just waiting until I felt happy again so I can at least have the box opening be special. I dont know what to do because that comment; the universe giving me a doll in return of my whole family dying? I cant disassociate it and I wish I never met that person because I feel like it has made the doll hobby unenjoyable to me, but I also know its unreasonable to think this way because Ive met so many that are so nice and kind. I think Im reading into the comment more than its worth. I honestly feel pathetic for letting it affect me this much.

Sorry for writing all of this. I just wanted to get it out of my chest so I can maybe get back to normal. My friends dont like listening to this, because Im a man and am supposed to be more mature, and I also dont like holding on to anger, and I dont usually do, but I feel angry and sad all the time, when I know I should be grateful because I have a lot of blessings. Some might know who I am, and I hope they dont take it as a sign of me needing help, and more of just me venting if they read all of this, that my disinterest in a lot of things isnt them, its just Im not back to normal and I want to be.

~Anonymous

Mod: I'm so sorry anon, you've been through so much. 💗

This person sounds insecure and jealous and imo you should dismiss everything they said to you, it was not coming from a good place. You deserve to have joy and happiness in your life.

[jordynbreeloa777]

hey i just wannna ask you this question on how do you handle being religious and using loa at the same time . ths shit really make me avoid using loa and feeling guilty that i am doing something wrong lol .

also i love yr acc so muchhhh <3333

Hey anon! This topic is very important to talk about which i feel like hella ppl dont. I am Christian and was raised in a religious household. I found out about the law and it’s like every door opened for me. I was spiritually awake. I still do believe there is an outside creator since how could how look at the world, and say there isn’t one? I still use to believe in angel numbers, zodiac signs/astrology and the universe to. But i never believed in “Christian witches” and things of that nature. It’s kinda like pick a side and stick with it to me. I always felt guilty about it but then I realized what is we put on earth for? With the law i finally am getting everything i wanted so desperately and craved for just by being my own god, and creator. I do still feel guilty but I realized i have to put me first, and I’m done being a victim of my own reality. I still do believe in heaven or hell, since no i dont believe in reincarnation like Neville Goddard did, but I do think that when the time is right hopefully i can return back to being religious since I still have a though in the back of my head saying God is real and He does exist. I’m at the point of my journey where it’s kind of spiritual warfare a little bit. Like which side? Who do I go to in order to have faith? A man in the sky, who HAS DONE AMAZING THINGS IN MY LIFE, or myself? Since i dont know that if i was praying and assuming that if I ask God and pray 10 times a day he would give me what I granted or did I manifest that because i had the core assumption that me and His relationship together is close, and He will make my life easy. I still dont even know my own answers but do I think he is real, yes. Would I manifest for my family to stop being Christian no. Maybe i will return back to faith, but now I am loving my life. Finally i can say that. I love being in control of every little thing and aspect, and getting what I want because I know where the power comes from. me. it all starts within, always have, and always will.

Guilty, yes sometimes I do. I still identify as Christian, even though it’s wrong because I’m tore in half of what I want. I do like to be extremely careful with the “god” affs as long as it’s a lower case G. I do also realize a lot of people in the community don’t really talk about this. For a while, it did make me avoid loa, even though we never stop manifesting. I didn’t manifest and took a break for a year, and my life was hell. I was ugly, insecure, got bullied, bad grades, no friends, home life wasn’t all that good, wasn’t good at sports everything. This is such a good topic to touch on, and I may edit and add more in the future because i could talk about this for days on end. now that I’m spiritually awake, I don’t fully know what to side with. Do i enjoy getting every thing I want without knowing for sure or at least having the faith in an afterlife? Or be fully devoted Christian, and be unhappy with myself on how I look, or that my sp isn’t in love with me? Why would I stop now if I found the golden key? I finally have a say in what i want in my reality why would I stop now if everything been going in my favor?

I hope this answered since I still go to a Christian school which I’m not going to manifest away, but I don’t read the Bible and pray as much anymore. I would rather affirm and get every single thing I want in my own power and control then be a victim. I’m done with that. Even though It did feel so good when I prayed and got tingles in my heart, i still don’t know what i want for sure. Right now I am religious and usingLOA.

Hope this answered anon<3 Also thank you for liking my blog!💝💝

[grilledcheese-aspiration]

a discussion idea! (long post)

my husband and i were chatting last night while cleaning up dinner; he pitched a fun idea that could be a great topic of discussion in the simblr community. maybe this should be a SQotD submission - IDK but: he asked how i feel about sims 2 expansion packs now compared to when they came out. initially, i said "yeh idk, i guess the same?" and that was that.

i put a more thought towards his question and realized, i do feel a bit differently about some of the EPs now compared to when they came out - all under the cut!

university: i was SO SO excited about it bc i didnt go away to college like my friends did so it was a way to vicariously-ish get the experience and a bonus was zombies! now tho? yea i still enjoy it even tho the dormies eventually start pissing me off bc theyre just so damn dumb lmao

nightlife: same level of excitement. i LOVE cities and i love vampires too. this scratched the "i need to go downtown chicago" itch when i couldnt from lack of transportation and safey being a v smol person afraid of the worst. i played all my sims in "downtown", specifically, 107 Custer Blvd. I made-over that lot dozens of times, it's seen dozens of different families and had a million different lifetimes. Nightlife still stands as my fave TS2 EP and 107 Custer - my all-time favorite lot to play.

open for business: initially, i had ZERO excitement over this pack. i personally, right out of high school basically, had NO interest in working myself (i didnt, i went to community college and got by ok w/ chore-money basically) so why the hell would i want to put my sims to work too?? i also didnt care for the music (i like it more now tho) as an Adult - i do enjoy this pack more than i ever did when i was a clueless near-20-yo. also, love the servos but i dont play w them nearly as much as i should being a bot fan and all. (i should fix that)

pets&seasons: i was pumped for these bc MORE IMMERSION AND REAL LIFE STUFF!!! also, weather and animals LOL. i still love these packs the same as i did when they initially released. just kinda wish plantsims werent annoying for me to play, i love them from afar tho! werewolves are neat but theyre also kind of a PITA to play.

bon voyage: EH i dont really go on vaca a lot myself, my sims dont either for the same reasons: money! im also still scarred from the one time i did send my sims on vaca and they got STUCK THERE!!! it broke all my shit and i had no way of fixing it bc i didnt know about MTS, MATY and etc to ask for help/guidance. RIP to that family lmao i hope theyre still having a nice time in the vaca-void theyre prob still floating around in! (note: ive never found bigfoot, some day i wish to!)

freetime: we all have hobbies right? it was all fine and good until the fire nation attacked i was being inundated with a ton of hobby spam, be it notifications, the hobby sims and the lots. it was a lot. its far more manageable now thanks to mods so i dont mind playing into hobbies. i do appreciate the return of the genie tho!

apartment life: ok, look. i thought this was super cool then but now, after living in apartments myself, i despise them and dont put my sims in them anymore either. i do love the witches tho, prob my fave aspect of this pack!

edit to add rankings: nightlife, seasons, pets, apartment life, uni, ofc, free time then bon voyage lmao

id be interested to hear/read you guys' comparison's to the different EPs we have for Sims 2 or any of the sims games tbh. id go over The Sims but i dont have all day lmao ill make a different post on that some time bc i always get in my feels over the OG.

[skaldish]

I have been a witch for a long time but only been a heathen for a few years. I have a really hard time doing things in my practice because I feel people do what they need to do. You do a money spell when you need one, read the tarot card when you're unsure of where to go next or want to know what the future holds or where your lost item is or want to talk to deities. I dont really need anything right now or even need help from deities. Yes I like my deities and I like talking to them but my life has been lacking spirituality lately and I don't know how to get it back since I don't need anything. Deities can be there efir support but I don't even need support. I don't know what to do. I can talk to them via clairaudience too so I don't even need tarot. I guess I just need a reason to do things other than needing something if that makes sense. You ask questions and get support for things and do spells but when happens when u don't need any of those things cuz ur stable and your life is stable. I def think about them but I haven't talked to my deities in a while and any time I might wanna do a spell I just feel like I only come to them when I need something and I feel rude. Do you have any tips or ideas of things I could do or ways I could change my mindset? Thank you for your time.

Yes I do!

It's possible that the reason why you feel stuck is because you're conceptualizing Heathenry similar to how you conceptualize witchcraft: As a utility.

Witchcraft is defined by how it's utilized—as a system for accomplishing certain tasks and achieving certain outcomes. Your practice is defined by what you accomplish with it.

Norse Heathenry, on the other hand, is a spirituality informed by the customs, practices, superstitions, folklore, and worldviews of pre-Christian Nordic societies. It describes a way of thinking, feeling, conceptualizing, and interfacing with the world inasmuch as it describes a pantheon of gods and their mythology. What you do or don't accomplish with is sort of besides the point.

I rarely go to the gods to ask for things...and I could stand to ask for their help more often than I do, to be honest. Instead, the reason why I talk with them on the regular is purely because I want to. I find the experience super neat, and I'm curious and want to know things: How they're doing, the ways they think, what's currently on their mind, what secrets of the universe they can tell me, etc. These are things they're always happy to indulge me with.

It goes the other way as well. When Loki, Bres, Brigid, or whomever drops by, it's rarely because they need me to accomplish something, but because they like spending time with me and want to know how I'm doing.

I say this to illustrate that you can have all kinds of relationships with deities without your practice being less heathen for it. In fact, I know a number of people who don't really do a whole lot of work with deities at all, and may instead focus on ancestors, spirits...or perhaps something like community and lifestyle instead.

Hopefully this helps!

[loaisacult]

Long post ahed

Saw your posts and want to say that no this is not a cult what manifesting truly is being in a reality where we have what we want

When we manifest we simply shift to the reality where we have it and a reality where we don't have it still exists we just don't live in it anymore we are not conscious of it anymore

We are creator and god of our own reality not others we can't decide there reality so when we manifest SP we just go to a different reality where they are in relationship with us and change is subtle that is why we don't see it or even realise but with void it happens instantly that is why we can't manifest for others

And people who are overconfident exist because they know they are overconfident they know people don't like them or they play bizzare music but still they pretend to be that but in back of there mind they know who they are and there reality never changes

We just need to have an assumption in order to have it in 3d you know my dominant thought used to be me in a happy relationship from more than 5 years but I still am not because dominant thought dont manifest but assumption does and I was all this time always like I am not in this relationship after thinking about it for whole day so my assumption manifest instead of dominant thoughts and you know I had this assumption that the more happy we are the more sad we will be and I dont think of it dominantly my but still it manifest

From the religion I follow ( sanatan dharm aka hinduism ) it is belived every atom in this world has god in it so we also have it in our selves so who are we then god of our reality simple you know we have a piece of paper called kundli which has everything about us written in it like if you know to read it you can tell one parsons death and what will happen to them in next second too and for many it is said that they will become saint and guess what they die due to excessive drinking

You know how it happens because we are our own destiny writer no matter where it is written that we will be this or that or how accurate or belived it is if we want we can change it in literally seconds this is what is written in GITA a holy scripture it is said that we write our own destiny we have the powers to change it by doing the work and also said that we can't do anything on our own god himself made us do it so you know what you can belive any of it because it justifies manifestation in both the ways by stating we are chose one or we are god of our reality

And the whole multiverse theory is justified in my religion because we have 2 historic event ramayan and mahabharata and it has defined ending but a crow traveled In many universes and have seen 13 and 11 different ending of these events and it is written in our old holy scripture and it is also stated that every second a new reality is created and an old one is ended

So yes people are living in reality where triumph lost the election and wars don't exist but we don't know about it because we are in this reality

And void is also mentioned in my religion monks and saint go in this state in order to get rid of their ego and desires and many stay in this state to meditate for years without eating or even breathing

Saints in my religion don't die they take samadhi which means they from there own will give up on there lives this is what buddha did even the god of lower rank are jealous of us humans because of our this power it makes us even more powerful and stronger than them our Saints can curse them and it will happen regardless and our history proves us correct

Saints of my religion can control their heartbeat heart rate body temperature and can do what not and we can too they use different method and we use different but at the end outcome is same we get what we want regardless

And about people being suicidal in this community many of them just say it in sarcastic and joking manner because they actually are and about others they simply don't understand the law they just know it

And then they become like you and start saying it is a cult or make fack success storys because they are desperate for fame and wants to fit in but let me ask you does every single story is fack does every single person lies in this community no right

It was your fault that you became dependent on the law it is not the laws fault, but still regardless law will work for you just the way it works for everyone even if you belive it or not it will still work in the way it used to when we were not aware of it

And it is ironic how you say it is okay to belive in law of attraction but not law of assumption just because it is not relatable to You it doesn't support the traditional method of working hard and all that shit it is so clear simple and to the point where it scares people like you who overcomplicate it and just know it instead of understanding it and are scared of their own potential

We don't hate people who dont belive the law and don't force it on anyone so stop targeting our small and peaceful community and yes these scammers are everywhere and when they have the chance to scame you why don't they will it is our responsibility to belive our power and use our common sense it applies everwhere

And yes you said try manifesting apology from you so at first we don't have time to waste on you we are busy manifesting for ourselves second when we will do it we will be in other reality not in this one so you can continue with this shit we don't care about people like you because we not just know the law but understand it and apply it and get result from it

But I addressed you because someone have to because you will make other people in our community with less belive in themselves like you and will not let them get them their best lives because of your envy towards us but we know we know we are best and it is normal for people like you to be jealous of us and not live us peacefully but you can do nothing to us and to this community because it is for strong minded people like me and not for you who just crave attention and try to make people aware when you know you will only attract people who failed even after knowing the law in manifesting or are in so much of society influence that they don't want to belive it

If you think it is a scam continue to think so we can't do anything nor we want to but don't come and target people saying they are lying because this content is not for you it is for people who are choosen one and are god of their life so block us and don't spread hate or FALSE information in our community

First of all I am not reading that because I have been in this community longer than you and you’re already spreading misinformation! Believe in whatever ON TOP of actually changing your life. If that’s so aggressive to you I have no interest in stopping you from ruining your life you have free will and could just manifest I see the truth which you can’t do because you can’t even manifest for yourself my love instead of typing this a true god would move on with their godly life and self concept. This is your insecurity and cognitive dissonance speaking but it won’t change the fact you and I both know the truth you’re not going to wake up in Paris as a billionaire. If you want to listen to your subliminals and affirm for the void do so but actually also try in your real life especially considering I saw more than 10 posts about suicidal children after this election who are scared and instead of you gods manifesting for them or changing your own reality you’re just telling them to persist that’s cult behavior 101 you isolate them from society and tell them they just can’t see the truth also cult behavior. You can’t provide proof outside of coincidence cult leader 101. I could draft up success stories and lie which I have to prove how stupid you all sound and the amount of successful manifesters and void masters who asked me to get them into the void was astounding and shameful. I feel bad for you guys I don’t have any interest in stopping you guys, I just hope you’re all focusing on your real lives as well