#even when i used to draw a lot as a child hair was the hardest thing for me to do

[stinkrascal]

i’ll learn how to do so many things for ts4, i’ll learn to make poses and learn to make accessories from build/buy cc and learn to add shadows appropriately to my edits and learn to format text in a way thats easily legible to readers. but one thing i will literally never be able to learn how to do is to draw hair strands

[itsabouttimex2]

May I ask

Which characters will include in the primal moon scenario ?

Essentially, whichever characters I can think of scenarios for- writing Monkiefam was pretty easy, because monkeys have complex hierarchies to draw from. I spent a while observing different species at a local zoo (they’re mean. God, they’re so mean.) and decided to write a fic based on the behaviors I saw. (I’ll post that video at the bottom!)

Despite their status as the lowest ranked member of the ‘troop’, Wukong sees Y/N as his biological child. He won’t listen to any arguments about the difference in age or species, no matter what evidence is presented to refute him. Macaque is seen as his ‘little brother’, their rivalry temporarily forgotten. (Though only on Wukong’s end.)

The Great Sage is just lucid enough to recognize MK as his cherished student, and tries to give him advice… but his mind is a little too muddled by viridescence to offer anything sound. He also accidentally enables the worst of Primal!MK’s traits by complimenting and comforting him whenever things go wrong.

He’s thankfully rather laidback about the whole thing, only getting violent when he feels that his ‘family’ or status are threatened.

Macaque returns to his long-forgotten docile demeanor, a remnant of his days as a member of the Sworn Brotherhood- though he tries to fight the shift. It butchers the simian’s pride to resume a position of submissiveness, especially now that it’s to two people- one of whom may well be a teenager. Also, he’s sincerely desperate for comfort and companionship, so he spends most of the week fighting himself to not participate in any bonding activities.

He’ll make a ‘rank-scaling’ attempt or two, only to get beaten down and potentially pushed behind even Y/N in terms of status if he does it enough.

Sun Wukong->MK->Macaque->Y/N is the troop ranking, and it’s pretty rigid.

MK is, uh… in a pretty rough state. He’s never had any preparation for the Primal Moon, thinking himself a regular human for almost the entire time that he’s been alive.

———————————————————————

Honestly, it’s Tang that gives me the hardest time! assuming we can call upon his cicada ancestry, he’s- got absolutely nothing. Female cicadas use their ovipositors to slice into thin branches many times, leaving clutches of eggs as they go- that’s about as far as parental instincts go for them, given that they and the males die soon after breeding. (The males, in fact, die pretty much directly after.) I guess I’d place him with Princess Iron Fan and Ne Zha as the ‘normal’ guys.

Pigsy is, as you know- a male pig. Who are notorious piglet-killers. Eating piglets, stepping on piglets, rolling over and crushing piglets- intentionally killing entire piglet litters to force females back into estrus- it gets pretty brutal. So I still haven’t figured out what I want to do with him for this story- though I imagine he’ll be aggressive/hair-trigger, with Tang being the one thing that holds him back.

———————————————————————

Mei was pretty easy to write, but I did a lot of research on Chinese dragons in order to keep my representation of her respectful. Dragons in the west are usually reduced to bloodthirsty beasts of pride and rage- creatures to be slain and overcome as monstrous final obstacles. This portrayal even dates back to Beowulf, with the dragon portrayed then going on to characterize many dragons that came after it. (For example, Smaug was based partly on Beowulf’s dragon, and partly on Fafnir- so if any others dragons are based on Smaug, then they too call back upon the original.

In Chinese culture, dragons are considered wise and powerful beings. They’re worshipped as symbols of prosperity and good luck, and considered very auspicious beings.

So, Mei seems more composed in this AU- but it’s all an act. Given the stigma that non-humans have on account of the Primal Moon, she spends a lot of time pretending to be something that she’s not so that no one ends up being afraid. Mei’s obsession with with Y/N primarily stems from their complete acceptance of who she is, inside and out. Instead of having to pretend to be dignified and wise and rational, she gets to be the real Mei. She can goofy and energetic with you, not afraid to roughhouse or throw hands.

———————————————————————-

For Bullfam, I think Princess Iron Fan very much would be the ‘only sane man’- if two things weren’t occurring:

1. Her husband wasn’t trying to talk her into having a second child and worshipping her every step, his tongue spinning crude admirations of her beauty and battle prowess.

2. Her son wasn’t clinging to her waist and arms, begging for validation and attention, futilely trying to drag her into his workshop to compliment his blueprints and machines.

So she has her boy (after some headpats and a little bit of buttering up) run off to the surface and snatch a suitably young human who’s been left unattended, imposing them as a temporary ‘second child’ and ‘younger sibling’… before getting attached. Even though they were supposed to be disposable, she works them into a more permanent fixture of her family.

Given that Red Son is the one who picks you out, he feels a special bond with you. Instead of being more aggressive or even prouder- Red gets clingy. His desire for love and respect comes to the forefront, leading him to latch onto Y/N as tightly as possible. Hugs, headpats, back rubs, hair combing- he wants affection in as many forms as possible. I like to think he temporarily grows horns during the Primal Moon, and that he really likes having them rubbed and polished.

And as for Demon Bull King… this man is already aggressive as hell and pretty damn tempestuous, seeing red at the drop of a hat. So, with very little inhibition as is, he’s the sort of demon hit hardest. Bull King’s mental faculties degrade by a touch or two, rendering him very animalistic. He’s the opposite of Mei here- she puts herself through a ton of suppression and training and it all pays off spectacularly. He actively leans into the instincts and new power the viridescence brings, reveling in a more bestial state.

So, while Y/N openly and freely gives Mei love and affection, they instead cower and hide from Demon Bull King.

He wants more kids. Wants to spend more time with his wife. Wants to fight and break and feast. And when Y/N is abducted brought home, his aggression outright doubles. This is kinda good, though- now he’s so protective that he’s pacing the fortress in hourly patrols, wearing himself out as he digs deep grooves into the earth, carving his sigil into the stones around him many times over, marking the territory as inextricably his.

And all he wants upon returning home is a nap- with his entire family piled onto the bed, of course.

———————————————————————

Also, if anyone has recommendations for how characters should act, I’d be happy to hear them!

[tsunflowers]

I was playing idol land again and thinking about my pripara ocs.... do you want to hear about them..... I made up two new ones yesterday....

I need to actually draw them bc I have Visions but anyway

the three on the left are a unit but I havent named the unit. the first syllables of their surnames can spell out O KA SHI so I was gonna do something with that

kasuga kaede age: 14 color: green brand: potsuri party (pop)

all she thinks about is frogs and other amphibians and conservation strategies for them. her parents are both academics so they support their science-minded child but one studies literature and the other history so they don’t totally understand. very smart and surprisingly perceptive but bad with social cues (autistic). she's in the same grade as the other two but has a december birthday so she's younger. idk if they let that happen in Japan but that's my vision for her

she only got into pripara bc she realized if she could capture a wide audience she would be able to share frog facts with more people. her songs are very cute with a lot of splish-splash and hoppity-hop but she starts and ends every performance with relevant information on frog conservation. you get used to it. according to her she doesn’t need to wear glasses in pripara bc the frog eyes on her hair dec help her see

okano saori age: 15 color: blue brand: icy flush (cool)

trans girl, initially out in pripara but not in real life. has a single mom who loves her dearly and tries her hardest once things are explained to her but she’s made some insensitive comments in the past that make saori afraid to come out. girl who is always joking around to stave off her crippling depression. her look is obviously inspired by mirei lmao

she loves going to pripara and following idols. also she loves digging up secrets and knowing all the intel on all the top idols. but she respects the divide between pripara and irl bc it’s so important to her so she never looks too deep into people’s lives in the real world. she’s happy doing that and slightly afraid to perform in case people look too closely into her. but she’s a born performer and once kaede encourages her to get on stage she loves it. card suit motif

shiraishi reiha age: 15 color: burgundy brand: sunset fantasy (celeb) -> raspberry bouquet (lovely)

the youngest child of a prominent family in the entertainment business and a child actress, now teen actress. she doesn’t want to act forever but she’s afraid to tell her family bc she doesn’t know what she DOES want to do. she’s spent her whole life just doing what other people expect of her and it’s worked out pretty well so far so what if she crashes and burns once she changes

the few times she’s been to pripara before it was as a celeb idol to promote her career outside pripara so it just felt like work to her. she didn’t have fun with it. after befriending the others she switches to lovely type, keeping the wine color and the butterfly motif but more florals and less gold. and she learns to perform for the fun of it and not worry about impressing people

then the other two are senpai idols having insane drama and one of them is a virtual girl. I only made them up yesterday so I haven't ironed everything out

yu (stylized in lowercase cursive) age: 17 color: violet brand: twilight satin (premium)

in pripara she’s a top idol with her princely girl personality and delicate, haunting voice. outside of pripara she’s a shy and depressed girl whose conservative parents crush any gender experimentation she tries. she can only perform at the tail end of the evening after sneaking out of the house so her performances are rare and difficult to attend, which just makes her all the more popular. people call her a phantom. she has a ponytail. idk if that's clear but it's important

in pripara she can be her authentic self and flirt with girls and everyone loves her. but she can’t bring any of that to the real world and doesn’t have any strong relationships. even when she’s in pripara she has to disappear at the end of the night and can’t tell people who she is irl

jyarara age: ?? color: white brand: alchemic arachne (premium)

a vocal doll who has something wrong with her. I thought about making her a boyish type character too bc there aren't any boyish vocal dolls but ultimately I love the aesthetic of a lonely princess spinning a web of lies. her relationship with yu is kind of a reversal of falulu with hibiki. hibiki wanted falulu to let her into pripara at night to fuck with the system and eventually become a vocal doll herself and falulu innocently wanted a friend. jyarara wants to trap yu in pripara forever and have an eternal companion and since yu wants to escape her real life shes letting it happen. I think she was born from the longing of girls who dream of pripara at night but she became warped and twisted from only being active in the empty nighttime pripara

I should really draw her bc I have a vision taking shape in my mind. I want her to have a spiderweb motif and a big dress with a kind of cage made of webs. like a hoopskirt on the outside of a dress that’s shorter in the front than the back. also if/when I actually draw her she’ll have a design on her headphones that’s much more like spider eyes. I guess she's a little like a female spiders jeremy since she's a white steampunk spider

this is them irl before and after saori is out at school. jyarara doesn't get to come to school bc she's slightly evil and not real :/

the vibe is above knee skirt for saori and kaede, knee length skirt for reiha, and below the knee skirt for yu. yu has a different name at school that I haven't decided yet but it has 夕 in it somewhere

my favorite thing about pripara is how characters change based on whether they're irl or within pripara. saori has the simplest change of having to go to school as a "boy" but being herself in pripara, and she also shrinks. kaede changes bc she consciously wants to give off a cuter and more approachable vibe in pripara but her personality and mannerisms are exactly the same. reiha basically doesn't change at all bc she sees pripara as work rather than an opportunity to express herself. when she switches to raspberry bouquet she literally lets her hair down and wears outfits that are flowing instead of tight. as for yu she literally just wants to be masc. she's sort of mentally separating herself into the girl who goes to school and just tries to get through the day and yu who gets to come out at night and be herself. when she has support from friends and can integrate those sides of herself I think she can become a popular princely girl at school too but as it is she's just very gloomy and depressed

[herzeliebes-waltherlin]

thank youuu !! <3

1. Are you named after anyone?

yup, my name is the german version of my grandmother's name and my great-grandmother's name and my great-great-grandmother' name etc.

2. When was the last time you cried?

uhhh i honestly don't remember but it was either during a linguistics seminar (linguistics are so so stressful for me i just hope i'll pass the exam) or because i miss my dad

3. Do you have kids?

only my writing projects

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

never ;-)

5. What sports do you play / have you played?

i used to be quite sporty as a child ? swimming, football (or soccer whatever you call it), handball, athletics, jazz dance, modern dance, you name it i probably tried it. nowadays my back hurts constantly and i can't catch my breath after three flights of stairs so yeah. no sports for me rn. i'm trying to get back into running tho

6. What's the first thing you notice about other people?

their hair probably or what they're wearing

7. What's your eye color?

blue ? gray ? i can't really tell ?

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

i don't like scary movies at all i get wayy too anxious so happy endings all the way (at least between those two. i'm quite the catharsis-enjoyer actually)

9. Any special talents?

writing probably or at least that's what i get most compliments about. drawing maybe ? i'm also good at giving massages and telling stories

10. Where were you born?

region with the worst german dialect (not slander just stating facts): franconia

11. What are your hobbies?

writing !! studying funnily enough but idk if that counts as a hobby ? reading !! drawing (even if i haven't done that in a while), sitting outside in the sun, going on walks

12. Do you have any pets?

no, i'm not really ready for that kind of responsibility and commitment right now but i'm happy to cat-sit from time to time :)

13. How tall are you?

like 1,67 m ? i think ?

14. Favorite subject in school?

uhmm it really depended on the teacher but i'd say german, history, english and physics (especially astrophysics) for the most part

15. Dream job?

something that has to do with literature ! but i'm not really sure as of now i still have a lot of time to figure that out (not really but i keep telling myself haha)

Tagging

now that's probably the hardest part haha

@estomia @swanfloatieknight @burritofriedrich but only if you guys want to absolutely no pressure as always !! (it's far from 15 but we'll just ignore that)

@awordwasthebeginning tagged me to answer 15 questions and tag 15 people, let's see how I fare.

1. Are you named after anyone?

Yeah, both after my mom's grandmother and after my father's grandmother, although I only use one first name in everyday.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Couple weeks back, when I caught up on the finale of Owl House. This show is so good.

3. Do you have kids?

Nope.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

More in writing than in speaking, but yeah.

5. What sports do you play / have you played?

Sports... *hisses at the word* Uh, I don't think Yoga counts. A bit of calisthenics if I can bother? I go on walks sometimes? Eh. Something I can do alone, in any case. In school, P. E. was a humiliation on a regular basis.

6. What's the first thing you notice about other people?

Basic politeness. Say hello, be clear about what you want and don't infringe on other's personal space? We're peachy. Hear music on the train without headphones, think traffic was made Specifically For You, yell at or condescend to people? I can plan your death within 15 seconds of learning of your existence.

7. What's your eye color?

A kind of greyish blue.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings. They can suffer on the way there, but where's the point if it doesn't pay off?

9. Any special talents?

I was told I'm both a decent writer and cook, is that special? If you want something useless, random and slightly freaky, I can do a weird thing where I make my pupils tremble.

10. Where were you born?

The federal state with the ostensibly worst German dialect (slander), Saxony. We got a pretty baroque city here tho, so there.

11. What are your hobbies?

Writing and, when the muse turns her attention back to it, drawing and sewing. Also, cooking. And watching tons of series with my friend to yell and snark about them together XD

12. Do you have any pets?

Not atm, but I'm holding out hope.

13. How tall are you?

1,62 m or 5'4" for my non-metric fellas

14. Favorite subject in school?

German (Literature) and History. Heh, I guess while I collect new fancies and interests every month, my true passions were set in stone early on. It helped that my teachers for those were awesome.

15. Dream job?

I think deep down, I still wanna be a writer. It's not highly realistic, but it's what I think I'd be best at.

Tagging... uh, I'm always so out of my depth at this part. @chaoticpartners-incrime @poodlewithaguitar @str4wanzerin @chrisoels @cricrithings @herzeliebes-waltherlin @mutantenfisch @thotstochter @kittycatalex @owlbear33 @breaddo @krejong @scifi-mistica @fallingforfandoms @mynameisactuallylenny

Oof, are those fifteen? Uhm, tagging with zero pressure, you guys <3 Take care and be prideful!

[inovantyyy]

beyblade metal fight headcanons i came up with 3 AM

Ryuga is a boomer. I have no logical reasoning for this, he just is. Kenta made fun of him a sum total of one time and he somehow has lived to tell the tale.

Outside of Beyblade, Gingka and Kyoya actually consider each other best friends. They overexaggerate their rivalry because they're both nerds but off the stadium they go to McDonalds and make fun of each other. How else do you explain that secret fist bump when Kyoya went to go fight Ryuga, like,,,,you're telling me they AREN'T friends???

Kenta has subconsciously been influenced by Ryuga's snark. He's mostly the same with his energetic, supportive self but piss him off and you will have a very Ryuga-esque remark about how you're an ugly basement dweller. Gingka is confused, Benkei and Madoka are scared but Kyoya thinks it's absolutely hilarious.

Madoka might not be a blader but she took martial arts as a kid so she could literally just beat the shit out of someone messing with her. Like some Beyblade gang could try and mug her and they'd go "lET iT RIp" and then she just steps on their beys and kicks their asses, unfazed. She could have KILLED Rago but she didn't want to steal Gingka's thunder.

The Legendary Bladers have a group chat after the whole nemesis fiasco to keep in touch (Ryuga lives AU). Dynamis is a boomer, Aguma and Ryuga leave everyone on read (except in Ryuga's case, he's also a boomer and doesn't know how to text so he just doesn't), Kenta's too busy to text bc he's teaching Ryuga how to use a phone, Kyoya's being extra as always and trying to start a fight, Gingka sends outdated 2017 memes, King sends cultured memes, Chris is regretting sharing his number to these dorks, everyone is trying their hardest not to cuss because Tithi is right there and Yuki is just staring at his phone like, "this is fine 😀"

During their travels Kenta couldn't help but ramble about a variety of different things about himself and his life and while he thought he was talking to a wall with how Ryuga was seemingly ignoring him, the dragon emperor listened to every word but would rather choke than admit that to ANYONE. Kenta included.

The Dark Nebula stole Ryuga from his real family before indoctrinating him to be the strongest Blader. Ryuto and Ryuga are unaware of each other's existence.

After the whole Fausttm incident, because Toby kept his white hair Masamune and Zeo made a lot of grandpa jokes at his expense (not to hurt him ofc but to just make Toby feel normal about it and that no one's too uncomfortable to joke about it). Toby takes it in stride and even plays along. ("Oh my god Toby, hurry up old hag!" "How DARE you treat your senior citizens this way? You youngens have it too easy nowadays!")

Kyoya needed glasses this whole time but because his ass is all like "Ugh I dont NEED glasses. My vision is perfect you DICKS." he never got them. Madoka and Gingka noticed one day and took him to an optometrist and beat some sense into him. "how the fuck are you gonna Beyblade if you can't even SEE where Leone is you dumb bitch" so he relents. He tries to ask for contacts but by an unfortunate stroke of bad luck, he's apparently very VERY sensitive to them so glasses are the only option. To look cool he does that thing where he holds them in his mouth but no one buys it and calls him out for being a huge dork.

Kyoya doesn't LIKE kids but unfortunately he is a child magnet. def supported by his "i'm destined to be followed by brats forever" comment. but he does end up warming up to Tithi even after the whole "Yo-Yo" thing. He made a crayon drawing of Kyoya and he pretended to hate it, but actually has it framed.

Reiji quits Beyblade for a bit, realising that he just can't find enjoyment in it without associating victory to his worth, but does end up coming back after Kenta convinces him that it can be fun and there is a lot more to it than just winning.

Nile and Masamune are best friends even more so than Nile and Kyoya idc i said so. I personally believe this because sometimes similar personalities don't necessarily make you closer to another person. Don't get me wrong Kyoya and Nile are still very VERY good friends but if Nile had to choose someone to go like idk ice skating with it'd be Masamune. Nile is calm, cool, collected while Masamune is an extra bitch. They both bring something out of each other that no one else can.

The fortune teller jokes Kyoya makes towards Dynamis never stops and one day this man has enough and is like "You know fucking what let me read your palm" and Kyoya's like "lmfao bet" and Dynamis inspects it thoroughly, he furrows his eyebrows and then looks up with Kyoya with intense seriousness and says, "Your destiny is sealed, my friend. You're going to die a very painful (and embarrassing) death soon." Kyoya, poor guy, stares at him with shock and is all like "STFU URE MESSING WITH ME" Dynamis just shrugs and walks off saying, "Let's just say, look both ways before crossing the road in future." and Kyoya, with the logic that Dynamis has predicted the future before, believes it whole heartedly and is freaking the fuck out. Kyoya now is adamant on always looking both ways before crossing the street now. every time Benkei is like "Bro there aren't any cars we can just go" Kyoya looks at Benkei like he just insulted his grandma and goes "NO. ROAD SAFETY LAWS ARE THERE FOR A REASON. I NOW KNOW THIS."

Mei Mei and Chao Xin are literally dumb and dumber best relationship in this show hands down. Like they're both so STUPID i love them so so so much.

Benkei and Gingka are Swifties. I have no explanation for this. I just know they are.

Aguma is actually a really goofy guy if you're really close to him. Bao just always knew Aguma was just a dork which is why he's never afraid of him.

Gingka gave Kyoya a lion plush as a gag birthday gift but jokes on him bc Kyoya actually loved it LMFAO. Now they have this unspoken tradition of giving each other gag birthday gifts bc these dumbasses just really like messing with each other.

Shoutout to the ten people still in this fandom and enjoy this meal <3

[captains-simp]

heksbdkshs you’re jock!carol fics give me life, could you do one where jock!carol and the reader have been keeping their relationship a secret and one of those girls that love gossip finds out and like the next day everyone knows ??

You've met soft!jock!Carol. Now it's time for angsty!jock!Carol

4.6k words

Warning: homophobia (plus slurs), bullying, mentions of declining mental health mild violence and some clique high school douchebags (yes that gets a warning)

[ masterlist ]

Buy me a coffee ☕

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

You barely looked up when the paper airplane landed swiftly on your desk in front of you. It was only when you caught a glimpse of the red and blue stripe along the side that you spared it a glance. You prodded it with your pen and dragged it across the desk towards you, feeling a pair of eyes watching you eagerly from the back of the class. You unfolded the note carefully until a small sprawl of letters became visible, barely spelling out the word 'purple'.

You bit back a smile at the message and scrunched it up into a tight ball, throwing it in the bin near your desk before going back to writing your notes. You wanted to turn around and meet the eyes you were certain were staring at the back of your head but you knew you couldn't. It had become routine and you swore it was still the hardest part of your day - pretending you didn't notice her.

The bell in the corridor rung loudly and the second it did everyone in the class got up from their seats, ignoring the final reminders from the teacher at the front. Students swarmed into the corridor and amongst the crowd you lost sight of her for a few short moments until the wave of blonde hair appeared ahead of you where she maneuver to the side to be greeted by others in the same blue jacket. You caught her eye for a split second as you went by but it was no more than that. You wished so much that it could have been longer, that you could confidently stroll down those corridors hand in hand with her. A short hug. A brief kiss. A small smile. Anything. You just wished you could have more than fleeting moments with the blonde.

It felt like you could finally breathe properly when you left the suffocating building. The crowd dispersed into smaller groups while you walked out of the school grounds with a slight trot in your step. The further you went the less people you saw until the streets you walked down were near empty. The small corner shop eventually came into sight and you sped up slightly at the sight of your destination, not spying the red car you were always looking out for but knowing she was somewhere close by, she always got there first.

Instead of going into the corner store, you went through the narrow alleyway besides it and around the back of the store. You weren't in a sketchy part of town and even if you were you wouldn't have been afraid of going down the alley, not when you knew who was around the corner waiting for you. You had told her that last time you were there when she had asked you out of sheer curiosity. Apparently she wanted to challenge that truth.

A pair of hands shot out besides your and covered your eyes in an instant, not giving you any chance to stop it. Before you could even give a startled cry, her body pressed firmly against your back and the familiar smell of vanilla surrounded you. Relaxing in her grip, you felt her sway playfully as she leaned forwards to plant soft kisses along your neck. "Guess who?" She mused and you smiled as you tilted your head back for her.

"Hey, Care Bear." Carol groaned against your neck as she pulled her hands away. "I told you not to call me that." She complained, though her smile betrayed her when she spun you around to face her. You instinctively wrapped your arms around her neck as she held your waist softly, kissing you with enough passion to tell you she had been missing you too.

"How'd your test go?" Carol asked between kisses as she guided you backwards to lean against the nearest wall.

"Okay, I passed." You said absentmindedly. "How'd your game go?"

"Okay, I won." She copied and you couldn't help but smile faintly.

"That film you wanted to watch is on tonight, at 11. Wanna go?" The Captain asked as she stopped kissing you to talk properly and kept her hold on you so you stayed close.

"There's show times a lot earlier than 11." You laughed but stilled when Carol scrunched up her nose. "What? You don't want to be seen in public with me?" You teased but there was something very genuine to your question. You felt a familiar pang in your chest when Carol's grip loosened and she looked away.

"Y/n, we've talked about this." Your girlfriend sighed.

"I know, I'm sorry." You muttered as you tried to look as unbothered as possible but knew your face gave away the disappointment you felt so intensely. "You know if I could I would go out at all hours with you, where ever you'd want to go. It's just not that simple." It was hard to truly believe those words when your girlfriend sounded so exasperated, like she was having to explain to a child why they couldn't draw on the walls or have candy for breakfast.

"I know." You said because you really did and you felt guilty for bringing it up.

Carol had told you before you had even started dating her that your relationship would have to be secret. You didn't go to the most gay-friendly school for one thing. There were no openly gay couples there and to be honest you didn't have the nerve to be the first. Carol was content on being popular and you were happy staying under the radar with no intentions to change that. Above all Carol believed it would make securing her scholarship a great deal harder. You were never sure if that was just her fears or if it could really affect it but you respected where she was coming from. That didn't stop it hurting. It didn't stop you envying all the couples that got to openly love their partners. You always reminded yourself that keeping your relationship secret took as much of a toll on Carol as it did on you, she was just far better at hiding it. She was good at hiding a lot.

"Is that a no on the movie?" Carol asked with a strong hint of upset in her voice and unintentionally heart wrenching puppy dog eyes.

"11 right? Sounds like we have a lot of time to kill." You smiled wholly as you glanced at the old blanket fort you had built together months ago, right after you had gotten red and blue slushies that you had spilt on one of the blankets inside and stained purple. That wasn't the only thing that was turned purple that day but was the one that seemed to be permanent.

Carol smiled eagerly and wrapped her arms around you tightly again. "I love you, you know that right?" She asked genuinely and you returned her bright smile.

"Always, and I love you too, Care Bear." Carol rolled her eyes but kissed you softly again, treasuring the feeling of your soft lips against hers and the vague taste of the lunch she had discreetly bought you that day.

*

You swung open your locker door and made to shove as many of your school books inside as you could until you halted at the sight of a small, folded up, piece of paper in the base of your locker. You crammed your books into the tight space and stood as close as you could to it as you unfolded the note, knowing it wasn't for the eyes of the rest of the world. 'East feild field supply shed, lunch' was all it read in the familiarly rushed handwriting. You scrunched the note up and put it in your pocket, locked your locker and made your way down the corridor with a sense of uncertainty in your step. Carol never wanted to meet inside school - it was practically a rule. You would text each other as much as you could and even call if you were lucky, but you were never physically together.

You continued on to the field and walked across as nonchalantly as you could. You only vaguely knew where that specific supply shed was because it was rarely ever used and not to mention half submerged in the woodland bordering part of the field. You glanced around as you neared it and when you were sure no one was near by you dipped behind the back to an awaiting Carol, sat cross legged on the floor and trying to balance a spoon on her nose.

"Hey, are you alright?" You asked hastily as you put your bag down on the floor and stared at your girlfriend in concern.

"Of course I am, you're here." She said simply and held both her hands out to you. You took them with a confused smile as Carol guided you to sit on her lap and cupped your cheek with her hand.

"Are you sure? We don't usually- we never-" Carol pecked your lips to successfully silence you.

"I know, but I missed you too much." She said with a contagious smile. "Really. I just wanted to see you." Your smile grew as you nodded and lent forward slightly to kiss the blonde back.

"I missed you too."

You stayed like that for the rest of your lunch break, enjoying each other's company and embrace as you ignored the rest of the world that wasn't shielded by the old wood around you. It was pretty much perfect. You knew it couldn't become habit so you tried your hardest to just focus on the there and then. Carol seemed to be thinking the same thing, letting her guard down more than she ever had when you had to part days.

The Captain chuckled as she kissed you after backing you into the shed door. You pushed her back lightly with a giggle, feeling giddy from everything happening. "We gotta go." You laughed more when Carol trapped you against the shed, clearly not having any desire to attend her next lesson. "Carol." You scorned, making her pull away only to gaze at you adoringly.

"Okay." She huffed and stepped back to give you space to move. The moment you did she laced your fingers together and held up your hand to her lips, giving the back of it a soft kiss before letting you go. You grinned back at her as you started in opposite directions, your hand still tingling from your girlfriend's soft imprint.

You were both so blissfully unaware of your surroundings you forgot to make a quick check of anyone near by. Neither of you were aware of the eager eyes following both your steps, nor the digital lens that followed with them. However that was something that became very much apparent the next day. The eyes that landed on you as you ventured down the school corridors weren't subtle. They weren't kind either.

You felt like there was a spot light on you everywhere you went and it went on for a while. Some people would look away once you glanced anxiously in their direction while others stared back with a distasteful and all together brutal glare. It was clear that everyone knew something you didn't, something that soon brought your mind to Carol. Where was she?

That was a question you had to wait a while to be answered. Your girlfriend wasn't in any of the few classes you had together, something that wasn't completely unheard of for her but was especially anxiety inducing on that day. It was during lunch break that you finally saw her. You were thrilled and filled with relief when you saw the blonde hair and blue jacketed figure making its way towards you where you sat under a tree on the far edge of the field. However as she got closer and you were able to distinguish the infuriated look upon her face, all the relief drained away. You had seen her angry before. She had been known to have a short fuse and with a team that wasn't the brightest and some games not going the way she would have wanted, you knew what angry Carol entailed. But what you saw that day was something new.

"What the fuck?!" She yelled and you stumbled back a couple of steps in shock.

"W-what?" You fumbled when you realized Carol's new found fury was directed at you.

"What did you do?" She demanded as she advanced to being a short step away from you. Suddenly, having Carol so close didn't hold the comfort it usually did.

"I don't know. I don't know what's going on! Everything was fine until..." you trailed off when the Captain turned her attention to her phone. You glanced between her and the screen, not understanding why she suddenly didn't want to pay you any attention. However, when she showed you her screen your heart dropped. Any other couple wouldn't have minded the picture. They may even have loved it. You and Carol couldn't take a moment to admire the moment that was captured, because you both knew what it meant. You were so close together in the photo, arms tightly around each other as you shared a kiss. You were unbreakable. Were...

"Who... how did they..." You barely managed to speak, feeling far too numb.

"You tell me, y/n." Carol crossed her arms defensively and continued to glare right into your eyes. You thought that hurt more than anything else that had happened that day and honestly ever.

"I didn't do this." You whispered, too shocked to fully comprehend what your girlfriend was accusing you of.

"You wanna rethink that answer? Because this secret has always bothered you a lot more than it has for me." What? You felt sick at hearing her words. You had spent the whole relationship thinking, fooling yourself into believing that it was both sided. How much did she care?

"There was a time you wouldn't fucking shut up about it for two seconds and no matter how many times I explained to you why we couldn't go running around holding hands like goddamn kinder-gardeners you still couldn't get it through your skull that is was the smart decision. Do you not like what's happening today, y/n? Does it upset you?" She gritted in a sickeningly mocking tone that you had never heard before. It was just plain cruel. "Well buckle the fuck up because it's going to get a hell of a lot worse, especially for me. You'll be happy though, won't you? This is what you wanted." Carol finished, chest heaving and eyes ablaze. That was all you could really make it through your teary eyes.

"No this isn't what I wanted." You started to sob as you reached out for Carol's hand but she smacked it away hard. You recoiled in alarm and tried again. "Please Carol, I would never do this. I just wanted what you did." Carol scoffed at your pathetic attempt at explaining yourself, far from believing you in your hysteric state.

"Fuck off." She spat as she gave you one final glare and turned sharply on her heels to leave you were stood. Alone.

"Carol, please!" You begged but the blonde had had enough.

"Stay away from me." She shouted back and you stopped in your tracks, only able to watch her leave.

"No." You whimpered in defeat and dropped to your knees, breaking down in tears as you felt like your world was crumbling around you and there was nothing you could do to fix it. There wasn't even anyone who could help you through it anymore.

*

Carol was right. Things did get a lot worse after that, in a lot of different ways. Your heartbreak was the worse thing. You spent every moment you weren't in school curled up in bed, soaking your sheets and pillows with tears, scolding yourself for everything that had gone wrong. You knew, deep down, that it wasn't you fault, that it was Carol who was entirely in the wrong but you found it impossible to hate her. It would have been so much easier if you had been able to. It might have hurt less.

School was a much worse place to be. You saw Carol every day but a word was never passed between you. Anytime you caught her eye she looked away quicker than you could read her so it was hard to tell if she still hated you. All you knew was you weren't her favourite person. That was one thing, but the bullying was something else. It was relentless, ranging from everything between graffitied slurs on your locker to being shoved into them. Your grades dropped and your mental health declined with it.

"Move, fag." You gave a low 'oof' as you were tripped into the railings along the stairs. You held your stomach and winced at the instant throbbing pain there. You avoided the eyes you knew were on you but when you risked a glance up you saw the blonde you weren't sure if you were avoiding or not. You held her gaze longer than you had since she had broken your heart, your breath catching in your throat when you saw the undeniable pity written across her face. In that moment you found yourself wanting to go up to her. What you would do or say you weren't sure of, maybe it would have come to you got there.

You took a bold step forwards until you were cut off by a junior who gave you the first friendly smile you had seen in a while. You didn't trust it at all, like it was a mask worn by the devil himself to trick you. "Hey." He greeted. You opened your mouth to speak but you had no clue of what to say. "I just wanted to say I thinks it's pretty cool what you did." He said simply.

"What I did?" You asked slowly and he nodded back with the same smile.

"The picture." He clarified. You clenched your jaw and peered over at the blonde who was still watching you cautiously. "I know it wasn't you choice to have it taken or anything." He rushed when he noticed your defensive stance. "And I can't imagine what you're going through right now." He added with a sympathetic look. "But seeing you guys together in a town that isn't exactly the best place for it has given a lot of us a some hope. Most of the world is becoming more acceptant, it's only a matter of time before things change here too, even if you're not here when it does." He shrugged before getting distracted by someone in the corridor. "Plus you guys are a cute couple." Ouch. He smiled at you and waved at his friend as he made to leave.

"I gotta go but I hope I see you around." You nodded slightly as you pondered his words. You glanced at Carol and was surprised to still see her standing by her locker, it felt like some strange stand off and you wondered if she had heard what the junior had said to you. She wasn't that far away by the corridor was beginning to get crowded and loud.

You made to walk towards Carol but the second you did she took off like a startled deer. You sighed as you watched her go. Maybe it was for the best that you stay out of each other's way after all. Despite whatever the hell had just happened, the blonde's last words to you played as clear as ever in your head. They still made your heart ache as much as it did the first time around.

Things didn't change between you and Carol after that. It was hard, near impossible on some days, but you started to try and get over her. You didn't want to forget and you certainly didn't want to regret it because until the end, your relationship with Carol was the best thing that ever happened to you. Knowing that made it so much harder to move on. Not to mention a large part of you didn't even want to. You loved Carol. Making yourself fall out of love with her was just as difficult as when you had tried to stop yourself falling in love her nearly a year prior.

Given the absence of progress between you and the Captain, you honestly thought you were hallucinating when she called your name one day after school. You spun around in every direction to find her, something that wasn't that hard when she came jogging towards you. "Can we go somewhere more private?" She asked as she glanced at the onlookers. You nodded quickly, your mouth and throat feeling far too dry for you to even attempt to speak.

You walked in an extremely awkward silence towards the field. You were waiting for Carol to speak first and you were hoping she wasn't thinking that you would do the same thing given she had approached you. Unless she had done it on a whim, you really hoped not. It was only when you were alone that she piped up.

"I'm sorry." She blurted out. You glanced at her in surprise, an apology was the last thing you were expecting. "I'm so so sorry. I was so stupid- beyond stupid. What I did was something I promised I never would and I hate myself every moment for it." You stared at the blonde blankly as she continued to ramble away. You had never seen her so frantic and you were so taken off guard by it you didn't have a chance to notice the irony of what was happening and how drastically the roles had been reversed.

"I was just so scared and that's not an excuse I'm just trying to explain." She paused to peer at you properly, waiting to see if you really understood that. You gave her another weak nod. "I didn't know what to do. It felt like I couldn't trust anyone and I got defensive to try and protect myself. I didn't mean any of it. Anything. Especially about not finding the secret hard." That was something you had been longing to hear but once you did you couldn't bring it in yourself to believe her. "There were days I had to stop myself screaming in the corridors or in the cafeteria that I was in love with you. It was even harder not being able to hug or kiss you whenever I wanted to." You listened on intently.

"I just wanted what was best for you and I didn't know what that was." She admitted. You had the sudden strong urge to reach out and hug Carol, but you also wanted to walk away. You didn't get much chance to consider your options because a group of Carol's old friends came sauntering around the corner, eyes lighting up at the sight of you and the Captain.

"Don't stop on our account." One of them snickered.

"If you're gonna dyke out you might as well make a show out of it." Another added. Your skin crawled in discomfort and Carol noticed instantly.

"Fuck off." She spat but the group ignored her.

"You know you probably just haven't had the right dick." The first one said as he eyed you up and down. You backed up and found yourself moving closer to Carol. "I'm sure I could make you straight again." He mused sickeningly and made to grab your wrist but the blonde stepped in front of you.

"I said fuck off. No one wants your two inches, Walker." She challenged and got an instant reaction. He went to swing at Carol but she swiftly kneed him in the groin before he got the chance, barely able to stop herself smirking when he doubled over with a groan. The blonde turned to you and jumped forwards when she saw one of the other boys go to grab you.

"You get the fuck away from her." Acting on pure instinct and adrenaline, Carol swung her fist forwards and caught the jock in the jaw with a crunch. The other boys looked between the two injured and Carol, quickly making their call in grabbing their friends to leave.

Carol turned to you swiftly with worry and concern on every inch of her face. "Are you alright?" She asked as her eyes scanned you for any signs of injury. You gave a shaky yes, avoiding Carol's gaze. "Fuck, this is the kind of thing I was always afraid of, above everything else." She said as she ran a hand through her hair. You caught sight of her red fist and without any thought, took ahold of her hand gently. You ran your fingers over the redness softly, not realizing you were crying until a tear dropped down onto Carol's hand. At the sight of it you broke down crying more.

"Oh ba- y/n." The blonde sighed, heart breaking in smaller pieces at the sight of you. It hurt even more to see when she wasn't sure if she could hug you or not. Luckily for her she didn't have to feel useless for long because you reached out for her and clung onto her jacket as you buried your face into her chest, crying harder. "I've got you. It's okay, they're gone." She cooed. "I'll never let anyone hurt you again." You knew she was thinking of herself more than the boys when she said that.

You stood like that for a while, crying against Carol as she rubbed your back and continued to whisper reassurances to you. "Promise." You hiccuped between sniffles.

"I promise." She said instantly. You slowly pulled away to read Carol properly, watching closely for any tell of a lie and finding none. "Could you give me another chance?" The blonde asked, barely above a whisper as she feared your response. She would respect it entirely if you said no, but she really hoped you wouldn't. "There won't be anymore secrets and I'll never be a dick to you ever again."

"I'm scared." You admitted and Carol nodded tightly as she fought back tears herself.

"Me too." She admitted. "We don't have to stay here." You lifted your head up to look at Carol clearly and she continued. "We could leave, go where ever we want. There's only a couple months left of this shithole."

"A couple months." You repeated. Carol nodded encouragingly, desperate to find a bright side and winning point.

"Could you do a couple more months here?" She asked carefully and you nodded after a few seconds.

"Lets do it." You said with a sharp intake of breath.

"Fuck, really?" She laughed lightly and you found yourself doing the same.

"Yeah." You smiled. "I can't stop loving you and I don't want to." Tears started to fall down Carol's cheeks. You cupped her face gently and wiped the tears away with your thumbs. The blonde's own hands held yours as she smiled down at you.

"I love you too." With a sudden, unexpected, burst of confidence, you leaned forwards and kissed Carol longingly. She deepened the kiss instantly and wrapped her arms around your waist to keep you as close as possible, like she never wanted to let you go again.

"Everything's gonna work out." She whispered once she pulled away to rest your foreheads together.

"Of course it is." You smiled softly. "You'll be with me."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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[milazka]

not the greatest feeling ever | 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝.

the less i know the better masterlist

main masterlist

summary: fuck it, i’m not doing a summary, i’m so bad at it. oh! there’s smut btw.

warnings: smut, cursing, mentions of blood, underrage drinking

last thought: i’m proud of this one, took me a lot of time to write, but i think it was worth it! enjoy your reading! love, milz.

─── ° • ❀ ───

The gentle breeze twirls her golden locks in all directions. She hums the lyrics of You never can tell, having watched Pulp Fiction for the hundredth time last night. Her irises are fixed to the slightly damp roadside covered with fresh fallen leaves from this morning rainstorm. The last rays of sunlight caress her baby-like skin as they disappear into the horizon, painting the sky in a mixture of orange and rose. 

“C’mon grandpa, you’re slow as hell!” she teases Marcus, turning her head back to stick her tongue out at him. Standing on his skateboard, he sends her the finger, scraping the pavement with his over-used black vans to gain speed and eventually catch up with her. 

“That’s how the turtle won the race, dumbass,” he gently nudges her shoulder with his hand as he rides his board besides her. She gives a sharp turn of the handlebars to move her tires out of the sand and back on the pavement, giving him a death glare. 

“I almost fell in the ditch, shithead!” he simply laughs, his head falling backward. His dark colored hairs, normally slicked back, are ruffled by the warm September wind, giving him a laid back look that fits him perfectly. She adores hearing his laugh; it's one of the purest and most delightful sounds. It was only recently that she heard him laugh again, having not heard it for months after the day they lost the third musketeer of their trio. It was one of the hardest moments of their lives, but sharing this kind of experience brought them closer than ever. Charlie was there for him when he hit rock bottom, stroking his back while he cried on the shower floor, freezing water running down their damped bodies. She was also by his side the first time he went to therapy, soothingly squeezing his hand before he entered the office.

“If someone had to fall in a ditch, it would be me.”

“You know that Max and I made bet on how long it would take you to fall in a ditch?” she replies, checking his reaction at the corner of her cerulean eyes. He grins. 

“How much did you bet?” he curiously asks, one eyebrow arched. 

“Fifty bucks,” his eyes almost snap out of their sockets. He stops, stepping off his board.

“Fifty bucks?! That’s insulting, thought I was worth more than that,” he shouts as she makes a u-turn, retracing her steps, stopping in front of him.

“I’ll give you half of it if you wait ‘till June,” Charlie sarcastically says to him, elbows leaning on the handlebars of her bicycle. He caught a glimpse of light in her gaze; a twinkle of amusement he always finds in the corners of her softly crinkled eyes when she smiles truthfully.

“Deal,” he winks at her, drawing a small laugh from her slightly parted lips. He picks up Charlie's polaroid from the basket at the front of her bike, signaling for her to ride so he can immortalize the moment for her. Marcus knows she keeps those famous polaroids in an old converse box as a source of happiness; they're memories of moments she doesn't want to forget. 

He takes the little camera to his eyes, snapping a picture when Charlie turns her head to the side to look at him, smiling like there is no tomorrow. As the picture is slowly developing, he hears a squeal of tires and a squeal of surprise from the distance. 

“Fuck Charlie!” he shouts, running towards her as she sits, holding firmly her right forearm. His heart tightens at the sight of her painful face, her traits are torn by pain and he can see tears gathering at the corner of her squinted blue eyes. Marcus hates to see her in pain; he knows she's not the type to complain about anything so when he sees her azure eyes filling with water, he knows it's serious. 

“You got a few scratches,” he whispers, running his eyes over her legs and arms. “We’ll go to your house and clean you up, okay?” she nods, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand. Marcus tucks his skateboard under his arm, grabbing the handlebars and seat of Charlie's bike simultaneously.

─── ° • ❀ ───

“Hold still,” his hazel eyes are focused on the mid-depth cut on her forearm. His bushy eyebrows furrowed, giving him a severe, almost cold sober look. She takes a big gulp of the rich whiskey she borrowed from her father's secret stash. 

“Oh fucking hell!” she swears between her clenched teeth when the rubbing alcohol makes contact with the exposed flesh of her forearm. “That’s not the greatest feeling ever,” she whimpers, her forehead resting on his shoulder covered by his green olive shirt. 

“I know, angel, I know,” he runs his hand through her blonde hair, gently stroking her scalp in a soothing way. She keeps her head resting against his shoulder, holding back the tears that threaten to run down her flushed cheeks.

“I’m usually the one taking care of you,” he knows it refers as much to all the times he fell off his skateboard as it does to when he hit rock bottom when their friend passed away. Charlie isn't used to being taken care of; she has always been able to look after herself without anyone's help.

Crying is for the weak.

She swallows her tears, putting her mask back on with a slight smile.

“Your new neighbor saw me fall,” she changes the subject, pausing to take another gulp directly from the whisky bottle. “Great way to make a first impression,” a light laugh escapes from her lips, but she halts when she notices his gaze turning away almost discreetly. “What’s wrong?” 

Over the years, she has learned to read him like the palm of her hand; she knows he looks away to the left when he is hiding something from her and that he scrapes the back of his neck when he is embarrassed.

“I-I had sex with her,” he blurts out, avoiding her gaze while he still applies pressure on the bandage covering the wound on her forearm. 

“Holy shit,” her eyes widened, not expecting this kind of disclosure. “Wait, what about Padma?” 

“You know she is not my girlfriend, Charlz,” he sighs, finally sustaining her non-judgmental azure irises. It' s one of the things he likes about her; she never judges him and even if she did, he wouldn't know since she hides it so well. 

“Was it good?” she does not insist about Padma, knowing perfectly well that she is the first one to know. He doesn't answer, looking thoughtful as if a million thoughts are running through his head. He steals the bottle of alcohol from her, gulping down a few ounces of the throat-burning liquid.

“What aren’t you telling me, Marcus?” 

He shuts his eyes, exhaling loudly.

“I don’t know if I was good… God, I don’t even know if she came!” her heart tightens; he looks distraught and she knows that this is a big deal to him, after all, he just lost his virginity. He breathes heavily, his jaw as tightly clenched as his fists.

“Show me.” 

“What?!” he opens one eye, eyebrows furrowed as if he was questioning if she was being serious.

“Show me what you did, I’ll tell you if it’s good,” 

“You’re drunk, Charlz…I don-” he stops as soon as her silver rings coated hands grip the hem of his olive shirt, grazing the soft skin of his lower abdomen with her fingertips. Sitting on her knees, she brings her head up to his neck, pressing her lips against the skin. The feeling of her wet lips on his burning skin sends a shiver running through his spine. 

“I’m sober enough to remember everything and give you my consent,” she whispers to his ear and he almost moans when she slightly nibbles his lobe. Her hands slips to the back of his neck, forcing him to hover over her as she lies on her back.

Both his hands are lingering on the buckle of her belt, struggling to undo it. She clutches his chin with one hand, plunging her reassuring gaze into his. He looks nervous, his hands trembling slightly when he takes off her jeans. She presses her lips to his Adam's apple, feeling him tense up at first, but relax as she sensuously slides her tongue up to his sculpted jaw.

“A-are you good with two figers?” he nervously asks, his right hand resting on the edge of her panties. 

“Yes,” he hesitantly slips his hand into her panties, parting her legs with his other hand before sliding his index and middle fingers up and down her folds.  She can see him blush when an almost quiet moan escapes her lips at the feeling of his fingers inside her core. He pumps them in and out slowly, as if he was afraid to hurt her.

“Try to curl them in a ‘come here’ movement,” she demonstrates with her own fingers. He nods and mimics her actions, making her whimper under him. 

“That feels good,” she encourages him. “What did you do next?” she softly asks, rubbing her thumb against his cheek to sooth him. 

“Hum, well, we-um, you know, did it,” he says, blushing like a little child who just got his first kiss with the popular girl. 

“You didn’t go down on her?” she asks, looking quite shocked. He seemed clueless. “I mean, you didn’t use your mouth?” 

“Uh no, should I have?” 

“You boys really know nothing about female pleasure,” she sights. “Try watching lesbian porn next time, you will learn A LOT more,” He almost chokes, not expecting to hear this come out of his best friend's lips while his fingers are still inside her. They've always been comfortable with each other, but not to the point of talking about the kind of porn they listen to. The idea of her best friend watching porn and getting herself off almost made him cum in his pants.

“You do know what a cunniligus is, right?” 

“God, Charlz, I’m not five years old! Yes, I know what it is!” he exclaims, his ego lightly bruised by her question. 

“Well, show me then, playboy,” she challenges him, a cocky smile slipping on her lips. the alcohol going slightly to her head.

He pulls her to the edge of the mattress, kneeling at the foot of the bed between her legs. His lips kiss the skin on the inside of her thighs, sucking it until he sees a dark red mark appear. He gets rid of her underwear in the blink of an eye  before placing her legs over his shoulders. He darts his tongue out of his mouth, licking a long strip between her folds without giving her the chance to acknowledge what was going on. He stops once his tongue rests on the bundle of nerves, licking around it in a circular motion.

“Fuck,” she moans. “I wasn’t expecting that.”

“You really think I've never watched lesbian porn?” he teases her, biting the inside of her thigh, making her body jolt. He dives back his head to her core, sucking her clit into his mouth.

At leats he know where the clit is.

"Oh my god Marcus," she moans, squirming against his grip. He places his arm over her lower abdomen, pinning her body against the mattress. She can feel his two fingers sliding back into her core, the sudden feeling causing her hips to buck up against his face.  

“Are you gonna be a good girl and cum for me, hun?” he praises her, fingers curling inside her just like she taught him. She could barely feel herself, letting out a series of high-pitched moans as Marcus tongue was working on her bundle of nerves. 

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” she whimpers, her head pressed down against the matress. Her fingers tangle in his dark hair, tucking at the roots as she let out a cry, the euphoric feeling taking over her body for a moment. Marcus looks up to see her eyes shut tightly, her legs shaking on his shoulders. He can feel her core pulsating around his fingers as she comes down from her high.

He took a mental picture of her, engraving this moment in his memory forever.

─── ° • ❀ ───

taglist; @cognacdelights @ellegotohell @janedartist

[in-my-feels-probably]

Congrats on your 600 followers, your writing is amazing, i loved the rhaenyra x shapshiter reader especially. Mind if i request a match up from game of thrones(romantic)?

I'm a lesbian with she/they pronouns, I'm INTP 5w6 aquarius. I am 5'4 with very long black hair and dark brown eyes, I'm a bit of a tomboy but i don't mind wearing feminine stuff often. I like wearing darker clothes but i also like wearing soft colors like light blue or pink even. I also have black nails and black stud earrings.

I'm a very timid and quiet person. I have social-anxiety and i rarely talk to anyone unless it's my close friend or family. Some people might think I'm mute because I'm so silent. Besides that I'm pretty level-headed, kind, friendly and like to help if i can. Though at times I might hurt someone feelings since I'm brutally honest, I apologize after. I'm also the type of person to go with the flow because i want to take things easily and not make a big deal out of it, I'm a neutral person when hearing people's opinions unless it's questionable. I'm kinda slow to process some jokes and i zone out a lot since I like to be on my mind and because my sleep schedule is messed up. I like listening to my friends talk!! I hate to see my friends hurt or upset and try my hardest to comfort them. I cheer them up by doing things for them or taking care of them (my love languages are quality time and acts of service)

Interests: Reading, Horror Books, listening Music (classical and metal), sleeping, I'm a fan of oolong tea and passion tea, I like relaxing in quiet places while listening to music or reading, I like well-clean things and spicy food.

I don't really like trouble and like to stay out of it. I dislike loud people or insensitive people. I also don't like crowds and prefer to be alone. I get nervous when i meet people i don't know and pushes myself to a corner hoping they won't see me, I hate being disturbed when I'm relaxing or when i'm tired then I might come off grumpy, I hate being made fun of even if it may sound like a harmless joke, i get moody after, I really hate when things are out of place or unclean. Oh yeah i don't like cake too 😭

Hobbies: I really like reading books, especially mystery or horror(maybe even romance). I'm also good at painting/drawing but i get fustrated because I get artblock. Other times i like making things out of paper like flowers, birds, etc.

Other info: I have an uncontrollable strength, I don't work out it's just that when I pinch people payfully slightly they say it hurts really bad 💀

I think that's it, have a good new year and a good day ♡ 👧

hi! thank you for participating :)

i ship you with sansa!

especially in the later seasons, she became a lot more reserved. i think she’d need someone calm and on the quiet side, someone to keep her company. i think she’d be afraid to get involved with anyone, especially after all that happened to her. but i think she’d be drawn to you. you’d remind her of home, and quiet peaceful evenings she had as a child, maybe with her father. it would be one of the things she missed most, even when she returned to winterfell, and you’d be a small piece of the life she used to have. you’d be an instant comfort. you being quieter, she’d have to be the one to approach you first. you’d intrigue her, and she’d find herself doing things to spend time with you. you’d warm up to each other fast. you’d be an excuse for her to get away from her responsibilities so she could be with you. you’d know how to comfort her when she needed it, and she’d feel comfortable talking to you about anything she needed to get off her chest. she just wants to be in the north with her people, separate from the rest of the world. she’d be content to do that with you, it would be so easy. she’d love talking to you, telling you stories or explaining how her day went, appreciating that you were actually listening.

she had to grow up so fast, she’d be such a different person compared to the girl she was before she left winterfell the first time. you’d understand that, and she’d know that it didn’t bother you. shed have a much sharper tongue, able to stand up for you or correct a situation if she needed to. she’d seek you out during the day, wanting to sit with you while you read or did your art. she’s quite the artist too, making her own clothes. you could sit together and work on your projects, either helping each other with them, or just being content enough to work in peace next to each other.

maybe one day, she’d be sitting with you, telling you about home. somehow, you’d get to the topic of sweets.

“lemon cakes are my favorite. i miss the way the cooks made them when i was young.”

you’d pretend to like cake, and she’d be absolutely appalled once she found out you don’t actually like it.

“what? how can you not like lemon cakes? that is absurd, we have to make them now.”

you’d spend a day in the kitchens, making her laugh and smile. she wouldn’t even care that you’d scrunch your nose up at the taste when they were finished, just happy that she got to spend the day with you.

“i may not like cake,” you’d say, resting your hand on her arm. “but i do like your dress. you’ll have to show me how you made it one day.”

she’d smile, happily agreeing to.

[poguestvff]

LIKE A BIG SISTER SHOULD — WHEEZIE CAMERON

in which wheezie cameron finds that blood doesn’t make you family, love and affection does.

taglist | masterlist | 2.5k words | @pogueslandia ,

warning(s): food, she/her pronouns, ward slander, a little sarah slander but that’d include reading between the lines. why’d this make me want to make a series of reader and Wheezie being best friends.

There's always been a heavy feeling of loneliness that rested upon the youngest cameron's shoulders, weighing her down as it seemed to pile over the years. Her siblings were always older, an age gap between them that even if it was shortened by a few years, their worlds would still be two different things. All three of them were in three different stages of life yet somehow it felt like Wheezie wasn't even there at times.

Throughout the entirety of her schooling career so far, everything had somehow been about Rafe and Sarah. Sarah was the perfect one; the paragon who could do no wrong. Even if Sarah tried to disobey, it'd be turned around to be made out as a minute mistake. She'd probably be able to get away with it a second time if she did it a different way. Maybe the same way.

Rafe was quite the opposite. The bastard child who needed a plentiful amount of attention in hopes he can be more like the paragon. With all this attention, his head only grew. It never gave him the space for growth. It minimized the space to stay exactly where he was for years on end.

This left Wheezie to be the ostracized sibling. She wasn't a social butterfly or a poster child like Sarah and she definitely wasn't a loner or the 'damaged goods' child like Rafe. She was just... average. With average grades and an average personality. Just average old Wheezie. She told herself this consistently, watching her father balance his attention between making sure Rafe stayed between the lines he'd drawn for him in a radius such as a dart board and allowing Sarah step out of them, even erasing some of the lines so she could walk on by them without a second thought.

But Wheezie was stuck in that tiny little circle in the middle, the bullseye as if scared to move out of those lines. The one place that was the hardest to pinpoint specifically by her father. But there was one thing Ward Cameron always said correct about his younger daughter. That he wouldn't be able to pin point his little dart of control into the middle of the board because she was misunderstood and misunderstood she was.

Though one person had been able to pick up on every single one of Wheezie's emotions.

Y/n Y/L/N was a pogue who had done tutoring on the side for a little extra money and when John B had recommended Y/n for help with Wheezie's homework, Ward was quick to say okay. He hardly even asked a thing about Y/n, just telling her to help Wheezie pass eighth grade and that was all. It was made very apparent to Y/n that was Wheezie was not as much of a priority to Ward as other things were.

Their first tutoring session, Wheezie was awfully dismissive. She didn't care for any of Y/n's efforts as they sat within the comfort of Wheezie's bedroom. She just wanted the entire hour to be over with the second she'd entered her room but Y/n was insistent, knowing that by the end of the school year she would have something instilled in Wheezie's brain. She just didn't know what that something was yet.

The second time they met, Y/n was more passive aggressive in hopes of breaking down the brick walls Wheezie had stored between her and everyone else in hopes of not disappointing them like the way she thought she'd disappointed her father. Y/n sat her down in her desk chair, swiveling her chair to her as she rested her hands on the younger girls shoulders. "You are going to have a really awkward couple of weeks if you and i don't become friends so no work today. We're playing 20 questions."

That night, Y/n learned a lot about Wheezie Cameron that she never thought she'd learned. Wheezie hated the color purple, she just painted her room that color because Sarah liked that color. Wheezie loved to paint and to draw, it was her favorite activity, she just rarely showed it bevause she hadn't believed in herself. Though, when she showed Y/n the canvas' that were shoved at the back of the closet, Y/n marveled at them. But Y/n's favorite fact, and the same one that almost made her hug Wheezie on the spot, was that she was never taught to swim and Y/n made her a promise that she would teach her.

As the weeks went by, Wheezie waiting anticipatingly for Y/n's beaten down, green ford bronco to pull up on the driveway and she'd leave the house with a giant smile on her face. It’d be early in the morning, a little less than an hour until school started, just like how Wheezie liked. She'd jump in the driver seat, embracing the smell of vanilla from the scented item hanging from the rear view mirror. She’d toss her bag to the back as Y/n would ruffle her hair, just like she had every morning. "And beloved was set in... late 1856!" Wheezie answered excitedly as Y/n drove down the final street towards her school after the two had gotten breakfast together.

"Perfect! You're gonna do so good on your test, Wheeze, I promise." Y/n told her ecstatically as she pulled into a parking space. Just before Wheezie could get out, Y/n held her upper arm just to gain her attention before she got out. "Tell Rose she doesn't have to get you after school. I'll leave school early and you and I are having a girls day. No studying, just me, you and a shit ton of sweets."

Wheezie smiled, she could feel the muscles in her jaw begin to hurt from how wide she had. She tilted her head to the side out of curiosity, eyeing the look of excitement on Y/n's face. "But why?"

Y/n shrugged, adjusting in her seat and fixing her rear view mirror. "Cause, you deserve it. I'm so proud of you, Little W." She told her, looking back towards the girl and seeing her smile slightly drop. "You okay?"

Wheezie couldn't remember a time where she was genuinely told that. Yeah, sure, Ward said it a few times but it'd be in a lousy tone before he'd wave her off, saying he was busy with whatever office work he had to attend to. Sarah may have said it a few times but it was rushed before she'd run after her friends with a quick goodbye to Wheeze, leaving her alone in the sand. It was never sincere. Not in the way Y/n had said it.

She rubbed her hands against her jean clad thighs with a sharp breath before nodding. “Yeah. I've just never really been told that before. Like—Like genuinely." She said, lowly, in hopes Y/n would understand and wouldn't push it.

Y/n had known Wheezie long enough to know her tells and avoiding eye contact was one of the biggest ones. So she didn't indulge further in the conversation, brushing it under the rug but knowing she'd have to go diving back in for that little tidbit later on. Instead she wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into a tight hug from over the console. "I'll tell you i'm proud of you everyday if i have to." Y/n muttered before kissing the top of her head. "Now go, if you're late to first period, your dad will kill me." And Wheezie was able to leave the car with a smile on her face, already looking forward to the day planned later on.

Y/n was overall consistent, it was one thing Wheezie enjoyed knowing that when she made promises she tried to keep them as best as she could. Sometimes things slipped her mind but Wheezie could recognize that Y/n didn't forget a thing when it came to Wheezie. Like she made sure to engrave bits and pieces of her into her mind like a data chart. But it showed she cared and that was enough for Wheezie.

Y/n cared enough that when she entered her car after school, the smell of her favorite cinnabon's filled the car that made her look in the backseat, seeing a picnic basket. There wasn't a chance, right? You could only get them on the mainland. She turned her body swiftly towards the elder girl who sat with a smirk on her face. "You didn't?"

"I did. Second I left fourth period, got on a ferry just for you to have those overly sweet treats." Y/n said, tapping her nose with a 'boop'! "And I almost got stuck on the mainland because of it so you better enjoy the hell out of them."

"I will, I promise." Wheezie said dramatically as Y/n smiled, pulling out of the parking space to head down to the beach. Wheezie had said she didn't have a bathing suit, not prepared for the outing, though Y/n already said she had ransacked her room for clothes for after. Y/n was the only person allowed in Wheezie Cameron's room without Wheezie being there and the elder girl took pride in it.

As Y/n set up their small area for the few hours, she noticed Wheezie standing just where the water and the sand met. She kicked around the water with clear disinterest causing Y/n to huff, hands on her hips, before tossing off her hoodie to get in. The splash she'd made by pushing herself into the water made Wheezie jump, a laugh falling from the two's lips. "Come on." Y/n said, standing and holding her hands out to Wheezie.

"Y/n/n, I can't swim."

"Y/n/n I can't swim, well, obvi, i know that, little W. But, you have your amazing best friend to keep you afloat. I won't let you go, i swear." Y/n said, holding up her pinky.

"Swear?"

"On my life." She reassured with a trusting smile before Wheezie walked further in. When the water had gotten to her above her waist, it'd freaked her out a bit though Y/n talked her through it, coaxing her further in slowly. Wheezie was kept above the water as Y/n held her hands as the buoyancy was used to their advantage. "See, not as bad as you thought?"

Wheezie shook her head though still nervous. "Not as bad, not my thing though."

"Why don't we try actually swimming? I won't force you if you don't want to and we can get back to shore right now but maybe just try?" She asked as Wheezie had to think about it for a moment. She almost felt guilty, remembing just a few months ago when Sarah had asked her if she could teach her but she refused. Though maybe, just maybe, it was because of Y/n being a bit more trust worthy that Wheezie said yes this time.

It took a while, Wheezie was frightened by letting go even as Y/n would say she was okay. Wheezie would tighten her grip on her shoulders before trying again and again until she eventually got it. She finally was able to keep herself above the water without flailing, recognizing that she was okay. Y/n cheered as she watched, not caring for the stares of others around them. "See, dude? You just have to start applying yourself! You did it!"

"I did it!" Wheezie said as Y/n hugged her, the two laughing before Wheezie screamed making Y/n's laughter die fast. "Something touched me!"

"Wheeze, it was seaweed." Y/n said softly before turning and letting her place her hands on her shoulders. "Yeah let's get you out of here before a jellyfish gets you."

Wheezie widened her eyes. "Jellyfish?"

As the sun had began to set and people had packed up their things and left, Y/n and Wheezie stayed. Wheezie was on her fourth doughy treat, even though Y/n told her to slow down two treats ago. Towels were wrapped around each of their shoulders as they watched the pretty colors fade in to one another, a mixture of pink, blue and orange array of colors combining to make a cotton candy sky. Wheezie watched as Y/n got up, accepting a phone call from Ward, the only phone call she hadn't silenced since they'd left the car.

In the time she'd left, Wheezie took advantage of it to recognize how appreciative she was of all that Y/n was doing for her. She came in as a tutor and, to Wheezie, was to stay as a friend. As family. Wheezie was more then ecstatic to have someone who would be there to rant and rave about the other Cameron's, someone she could trust with her secrets and the contents of her always running brain. Someone who was just there.

"Hey, your father would like us back in thirty so we should leave in ten." She said coming back and sitting beside Wheezie as she caught sight of her face, the lack of the smile that was there previously concerning her. "Tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing, really. Just... I really enjoyed today, Y/n. It really lets me know you're not just here for like... like the money or something."

Y/n let out a scoff. "Are you kidding? I enjoy nothing more than watching you freak out over the existence of jellyfish." She joked as Wheezie pushed her to the side with a laugh. Y/n recovered, letting out a content sigh as she tossed an arm over Wheezie's shoulders. "You're stuck with me now, Wheezes. Can't wait to record you falling at your next soccer game."

Wheezie couldn't help the laugh that slipped past her lips, leaning into Y/n's embrace as her head rested against her clavicle. "And I'll be looking for you in the stands, Y/n/n."

Y/n and Wheezie had both found out something about the other that night. Wheezie found that she didn't want to be like Sarah and she was glad she wasn't like Rafe. She was content with her own little circle on the dart board but maybe she could take a bit after her newest role model. And Y/n found that she was able to instill several things into the youngers mind including To Kill a Mockingbird, Inca Civilizations, and that she now had a true and present big sister to look up to.

[readyplayerhobi]

Always Trust In Pixie Dust

; Pixie!Seokjin x Pixie!Reader

; Genre: Fluff, a tiny bit of angst

; Word Count: 14k

; Synopsis: As a vegetable pixie, you weren’t exactly considered the most desirable in the pixie hierarchy. But the uncle of one of your student’s is convinced that you have a secret admirer, only made worse when your younger brother and sister get involved. Will they succeed in their matchmaking or will your admirer come forward before they can get into too much mischief?

; A/N: Okay so...this is my first FULL Jin fic and I feel bad because I basically lost all inspiration for any writing about 4/5 through writing this. As a result...it’s pretty fair to say I’m a little uncertain of how this fic is and how you’ll all feel about it, particularly as there’s no smut anymore (it just didn’t fit). I love the world though, and I love pixie!Jin. I hope you enjoy it and if you do, PLEASE reblog because Jin fics don’t get the love they deserve, nor do solely fluff fics :( also, please leave me your comments and thoughts and asks so I know what you thought. I’m trying my hardest to get back into writing and just finishing this was hugely important for me!

-

“Kim Taehyung...you don’t have a child,” Your words cause the tall pixie with soft, peach coloured hair to pause with almost comically wide eyes turned to you. “So what are you doing here?”

He says nothing for a moment before straightening himself, crossing his arms over his broad chest and pursing his lips at you. Even though he’s younger than you, he towers over you and you work hard to keep your teacher aura that had him looking so chastised when caught.

“You’re right. I don’t have a child. But I do have a niece. Right there,” Taehyung points over to the little girl sitting on the floor, her voice sweetly joining the other girls she’s sat with as they sing a nursery rhyme together. “And I’ve been asked to bring her home by her dad.”

Twisting your lips, you sigh before nodding and gesturing for him to come inside. The nursery that you worked at was inside a hollowed-out tree, providing plenty of space for the babies and little ones who were not old enough to attend school lessons in the higher levels of the tree. Everything inside your room was bright and colourful though, the walls stained with the vibrant colours that came from the richest pigments created from flowers.

A mural of the forest and individual, faceless pixies took up one half of the circular room while the other was free for the children to paint on as they saw fit. Creativity was one of the most important traits of a pixie after all, and it was your job to ensure that they went wild with all their beautiful, creative thoughts.

The floor was dotted with dried paint, and even new paint splashes from the day's activities and you hummed lightly as you moved over to the line of reed twine that was strung up across the room, parchment hung on it in intervals with each one containing a drawing. Scanning over, you take the one with the little girl's name and hand it over to Taehyung.

“Miyeon painted this for her dad. Make sure that he gets it please.” You request, smiling at him. He looks over the painting with a critical eye before grinning, nodding before bounding over to Miyeon and crouching down next to her.

“Hey, sweetie. Did you paint this for your daddy? He’s going to love it. Look at your house! It’s so pretty. You’re so talented.” He cooed to her and you watched as her face lit up with happiness at the approval and support from her uncle. Kim Miyeon was the four-year-old daughter of Kim Namjoon, Taehyung’s older brother.

Unfortunately, her mother had died of illness two years ago and so she was being brought up by Namjoon alone. Everyone had worried about that at first given Namjoon’s eccentric nature. He was the inventor of the hamlet, the one who put all that intelligence and creativity to use to create new and useful things for other pixies to use.

But it often meant he could be forgetful and scatterbrained. Occasionally forgetting to eat things or working too long. The idea of him raising a two-year-old on his own had been nerve-wracking, but Namjoon had once more impressed everyone by being a doting father to his daughter. 

He may forget to feed himself, but his daughter never went without. And she was proving to be just as creative and intelligent as her daddy. You weren’t sure the hamlet was ready for two people like Kim Namjoon.

“Uncle Tae!” She said, her voice its usual sweet mixed with a little shyness. But you couldn’t deny her love for her uncle, nor his love for her. Opening his arms, she jumps into them and giggles as he stands, pretending she’s heavy by making overly loud grunts and noises. 

“Oh, oh you’re getting so big. What is your daddy feeding you?” He teases her, laughing as she starts to give him a serious answer. Looking over at you, he gives you a boxy smile before heading to the door.

“You know...I know a little secret,” Raising a brow at him, you make a gesture for him to continue and he whispers into Miyeon’s ear, a conspiratorial look on his face as he watches you the whole time. “Did you know that Miss Park has a secret admirer?”

She gasps loudly, putting two small hands over her mouth while her pretty eyes go wide. You resist the urge to roll your eyes and instead move a piece of Miyeon’s strawberry blonde hair out of the way of her eyes, untangling it as you do so.

“That’s not a secret Taehyung. You tell me that every time you see me.” Snorting, he rolls his eyes in turn before heading out of the door that you open for him. It’s warm outside, with the sun shining down through the forest canopy and a gentle, cool breeze causing the leaves and grass to rustle.

Taehyung’s wings, long and gossamer-thin like a dragonfly’s flicker as he moves into open space and you take in the hint of peach in the almost transparent wings. As with all pixies, his wing colour matches his hair and pixie dust.

“Yeah, but I’m gonna give you a hint this time. You know him.” Now you can’t help but laugh, leaning against the ancient tree trunk that was so familiar to you. Like all pixies in Appleseed Grove, you had also spent your early years in the rooms carved out of the old oak. It was almost tradition now, and everyone took care to make sure that the oak survived despite how it was being used as an education base.

“I know everyone in Appleseed Taehyung. So try again.” The younger pixie hums thoughtfully before winking at you.

“Okay, you may know everyone here. But your secret admirer is someone that you see every other day.” And with that, he spreads his wings and takes off, the soft fluttering of his delicate wings resulting in a glittering blur of peach as he flies off to Namjoon’s home with Miyeon safely secured in his arms.

Frowning, you watch him go before heading back inside to wait for the other parents to arrive. None of the children has noticed you leave and you lean against the wooden desk you use thoughtfully. None of the little ones had wings and you were beyond thankful for that. It was a pain trying to round them up as they moved on their little feet and legs so as a nursery teacher, you were beyond thankful that they wouldn’t get their wings until they were seven.

But you find yourself turning Taehyung’s words over in your head. He liked to tease you incessantly. It was in his base nature as the youngest son of his family and you were convinced the only responsibility he would ever accept was for the stables where he helped to train the birds that your hamlet was so famous for.

Pixies would travel from far and wide for an Appleseed bird. From the tawny owls that were perfect for anyone who needed to travel at night to the swallows that were used for general travelling needs and even the kestrel’s that were trained to help protect pixies and their land, Taehyung was surprisingly good at training them all.

No one was safe from his mischief outside of his work though and you sighed, wondering why you were letting him get to you. Still, though, he’d never given you a hint as obvious as this. Despite knowing everyone in Appleseed, you didn’t interact with everyone frequently. So that reduced the pool of suspects for your ‘secret admirer’. 

If you ever had one. 

Blowing out air loudly, you resolve to push his words out of his head for now. You’ve got more important things to worry about. Like little Jaebum who has started a paint fight with his fellow partner in crime Jiyong.

-

The incessant knocking on your door immediately gives you a clue as to who it is. There’s only one person who has that much pure energy and that’s your little sister, Park Jiwon. As soon as your door is opened, you’re immediately waylaid by both your younger siblings as they push past you into your home.

Groaning quietly, you rub at your face before closing the door and turning around. As a vegetable pixie, you had the luxury of living inside a baby carrot. As the name suggests, it’s pretty small and everything you owned was in this one room. A small kitchen was to the left while your bedroom to your right and a small living area further away.

Pixie social hierarchy is dictated by living status. Fruit pixies, like Taehyung, were the top as it required a lot of innate magic to keep their home sustained. Nut pixies, like your brother and sister, were on the second rank while vegetable pixies were below that. In an ideal world, it would just mean you all had different homes, with each home being directly influenced by your magic.

Your magic had manifested itself in a baby carrot, which was admittedly cute looking, Jimin’s in a chestnut and Jiwon’s in an almond nut. But pixie’s were notoriously finicky, which meant that they liked to marry into each other's social ranking. Fruit pixies to fruit and so forth. Which meant you were destined for another vegetable pixie.

You should be thankful, you guess. Only a few generations ago, your family had been rock pixies. Which meant they had no innate magic. So with your younger siblings being the first to ever manifest their homes in the nut ranking, you had hope that the future was bright for your nieces and nephews.

Didn’t help the small hint of sourness in yourself at the knowledge you’d been skipped over though. What you wouldn’t give for a better home, a nicer home. It was silly though, and you shook your head to escape the thoughts. It didn’t matter in reality, you had a good job, great friends and a loving family.

“What do you two want?” You sigh at the twins, their matching pale blonde hair the only thing you can see from where they sit on your sofa. Nut pixies were renowned for having the most similar colour palettes for their hair and wings. From the palest blonde to the darkest brown, your younger siblings had ended up on the paler end.

“Can’t we just visit our big sister?” Jimin says, a sweet smile on his face and you narrow your eyes at him. His cheeks were round and full, something he was never going to get rid of even though he was the same age as Taehyung. Same age and with the same mischievous mentality. 

Unsurprisingly, they had been firm best friends since they’d met in nursery school. Which meant that Taehyung’s earlier mysterious comments had almost certainly been told to Jimin, who would have in turn told Jiwon. Because anything you told one twin would end up being told to the other as they were incapable of keeping secrets from each other.

“No. Well, yes and you do. Frequently. But I’m guessing it’s something to do with Taehyung deciding to be his usual self?” Jiwon giggles and it immediately sets off Jimin, the sounds almost the same except one had a feminine tone and the other masculine. Sighing deeply, you moved over to the kitchen and carried on making your dinner before looking at them both.

“Are you staying for dinner? It’s an apple walnut salad.” They both need eagerly and you snort in amusement. Despite the years between you all, and the fact that they had a much closer bond, you still loved them dearly and enjoyed their presence.

“So have you figured it out yet? Tae gave you such a good clue!” Jimin asks, reaching forward for your newest book that you’d taken from Appleseed’s sole library. It was run by Taehyung’s oldest brother, Kim Seokjin, who was a sweet guy if a little shy.

“What? That it’s someone in Appleseed who I see regularly? Narrows it down a little but not much munchkin.” A deep and overly exaggerated sigh leaves him and you resist the urge to poke your tongue out, not wanting to lower yourself to his level.

But he can tell what you’re feeling by the way your wings twitch. Jiwon pushes him, scolding him lightly and you chuckle at the reminder that she’s the older twin. If only by a few minutes of course.

“Shut up Jiminie. She’ll never realise,” You gasp in outrage at her quick betrayal of you and she simply flashes you a sweet smile in response. “Not until it’s spelt out for her.”

“Do you want this salad or do you want me to add in some paprika too?” Hissing, you point the knife you’re using to cut the vegetables for the salad and resist the urge to laugh at her pouting face. Jiwon hated paprika with a passion and you knew that apples were her weakness. There was no way she was giving up this dinner.

“Wonnie, you give in too easily to her.” Jimin scowls, poking at his twin incessantly until she’s squealing with laughter and wriggling around on the couch. Frowning, you watch them both and wonder how they don’t tear or break a wing. You wouldn’t think that they were both fully functioning adults with actual jobs looking at them right now.

There are better-behaved children in the nursery.

“Be nice to her, she’s my favourite sibling for a reason.” He gets up at that, so much outrage on his face that you’d think you’d just severely insulted him or something. Though with the twins, everything was a competition and so you probably had.

“Wrong. Anyway, I’m going to be your favourite sibling now. Because I’ll give you another hint.” Standing smugly, he crosses his arms over his chest and you pause from cutting the apples that you’d bought from the fruit market just before coming home.

“Why, exactly, do you think I care? Even if I find out who it is, nothing is going to happen. Also, stop being mean to whoever it is! They probably don’t want you to tell.” His plush pink lips pout out at your resistance to his teasing and you simply go back to making dinner, ignoring the two of them as they whisper to each other.

“You see him regularly, he’s older than you and you’ve been personally acquainted with him for your whole life.” Now that gets you to pause, frowning down at your knife as you contemplate Jimin’s words. Despite what you’d just told him, you can’t deny that you’re intrigued at the possibility of someone liking you.

It had been a while since you’d gone on a date and even then, he hadn’t been from Appleseed Grove but the next hamlet over in Greenleaf. Taehyung telling you that you not only knew your admirer but saw him regularly had reduced your list. But Jimin’s hints reduced it even further.

The list was still impossibly large in your opinion, you could already list several pixies whom you’ve known personally your whole life, but still. You can almost feel the answer. Shaking your head, you tut at him and frown as you try to push the inquisitive thoughts away.

“Jimin! What did I just say?” 

Almost immediately he pouts, slumping down onto the couch in a remarkable imitation of a petulant toddler. Jiwon soothes him immediately, running her fingers through his hair and you want to scowl at their innate bond. Why was she making him feel better dammit?

“Enough, both of you. Come get a plate, it’s done and then I want you two out after you’ve finished eating. And make sure you wash your plates too!”

-

Perhaps unsurprisingly, your little brother and Taehyung do not let the issue go. You’re convinced that they’re hatching some sort of secret matchmaking mission with you as the main star. You trust Jimin of course, but you know he’s always one to get up to mischief and the combination of Taehyung and him is potentially devastating.

Still, you try to push it out of your mind as the last thing you need is to start stressing over whoever this admirer could be. And with your younger sibling, it could truly be anyone. For all you knew, it might be the sweet old man who lost his wife a year ago and is always tending to the community garden.

A shiver runs through you as that thought passes through your head. He’s nice, but certainly not what a young pixie like you wants. You have faith at least that Jiwon wouldn’t let her brother do something as mean as that. She might find the idea amusing but she probably wouldn’t let him get into it thankfully.

Opening the door to the library, you inhale the smell of fresh books with a small smile before heading inside. You’d already finished the book you’d taken out only the other day and had eagerly come back for something else, wanting a story to whisk you away in the evenings.

It helped that Seokjin was an incredibly handsome pixie too, you wouldn’t lie. The rose pink-haired man was perhaps the perfect man to run the library as he always had his nose pushed into a book and he had an almost perfect memory of everything stocked. No matter what subject you wanted, whether fiction or nonfiction, he knew exactly what you would like to read.

He was also incredibly shy and awkward, which was why he seemed especially suited to the quiet solitude of the library. Plenty of people visited it, of course, even now you could see a mother with her two young children picking out books, but it wasn’t exactly somewhere that saw a huge amount of socialising.

You liked that though and you liked his company too. It was understandable perhaps given that you spent your daily life around small children who didn’t seem to understand that they had inside voices yet. Seokjin was like a breath of fresh air to you. A very quiet, softly spoken breath of fresh air.

If ever there was anyone in Appleseed Grove that would be the most understanding of the never-ending struggles of your little brother, it would be Kim Seokjin. How he’d managed to put up with Taehyung when he was younger was beyond you because that boy was chaos incarnate. Which was another reason why you were here; you wanted to get Seokjin’s opinion on the whole thing.

He was a font of useful knowledge and had read enough philosophy and self-help books to be able to give you correct and relevant advice. Plus, he knew all about annoying little brothers who were determined to meddle in your life. There had been a rather amusing incident a few years ago where Taehyung had set up Seokjin on a date, only it had turned out his date was double his age and thought they were just going to play nuts and stones in the park with her other elderly friends.

Needless to say, it had been embarrassing for everyone involved and you weren’t sure how Taehyung was still alive. All you knew was that Seokjin must dearly love him. Either that or Namjoon had intervened to prevent one of his brother’s murder.

You really should ask him how he restrained himself because you were positive that one day you were going to have to do the same. And you did not want to see Jiwon sad because you’d had to murder her twin brother for embarrassing you.

At first glance, you don’t see Seokjin anywhere and you sigh softly. It looks like you’re going to have to search for the pixie throughout the aisles of books. Thankfully, the library isn’t too big. It takes up all the space in an old tree stump with bookcases lining the area that are all packed full of books.

Placing the book you’ve brought back behind the front desk, you begin to search through the aisles. You’re never quite sure what Seokjin spends his time doing in the library really and when you find him, he’s just crouched in front of the romance section. Raising your eyebrow, you watch him for a moment and simply take the moment to admire him while he’s not paying attention.

Seokjin is very introverted by nature which is unfortunate because he’s quite possibly the most handsome pixie you’ve ever seen. His soft hair is ruffled today, the strands made up of a range of colours from a deep rose to the lightest cherry blossom. A beautiful golden tan to his skin, round cheeks, luscious plump lips and enigmatic brown eyes combine with tall stature and broad shoulders to make him just plain beautiful. 

He doesn’t notice you admiring him given how intently he’s staring at the bindings of the books, his delicate, translucent wings shimmering as they twitch in time to whatever he’s thinking. Pursing your lips, you shake your head to push out the intrusive thoughts before heading over and crouching next to him.

“Whatcha doing?” You ask lightly, looking over the novels he’s perusing and realise they’re all historical romance novels. They’re not your kind of thing as the topic of noble fruit pixies taking pity on lowly vegetable pixies or even worse, rock pixies. Society took a while to move on and you were thankful that the age of nobility had long since passed but there were still those who sought to imagine themselves in that period.

And as someone who would’ve been of the servant class back then, you had no wish to read about being ridiculed for loving someone higher up. You didn’t know whether Seokjin was interested in it or was just contemplating how to reorganise them. The shelf didn’t look to be in any specific order and if you knew anything about him, it was that he liked his things to be neatly organised.

Still, he hadn’t been expecting you as the yell he lets out is obscenely loud in the quietness of the library. Even more than that, he falls backwards in a scene that could only be described as comical.

Chuckling, you gently reach forward to help him rearrange his wings before he gets into a cross-legged position. Pressing a hand to his chest, he takes a deep breath in before exhaling slowly with wide eyes.

“Hey! Give a guy some warning next time please!” He exclaims a small hint of a whine threading into his voice in what can only be described as a Seokjin complaint. Snorting, you roll your eyes and sit next to him as you both stare at the bookshelf quietly.

“So, was there a reason you just frightened the life out of me?” Reaching forward, he takes one of the books off the shelf before carrying on removing the rest. You help him by taking on the other side of the shelf, humming to yourself with a tongue in your cheek as you contemplate how to ask.

While you knew Seokjin well enough to feel okay asking him about this, you weren’t exactly super close. He was a little older than you and almost intimidatingly handsome. Perhaps unsurprisingly, you’d had a big crush on your little brother’s best friend's older brother when you were younger. And that was a confusing enough sentence on its own.

As a result of that relationship though, the two of you had had enough interactions over the years to be called friends. Not close friends or anything, but enough that you felt comfortable talking to him. Plus, he was an incredibly calm and stable person when he wasn’t screaming in fear.

Along with that, if anyone was going to understand how to handle Taehyung, it would be his eldest brother. Which is why you let out your breath in a long, low exhale before placing the final book on the pile.

“Did you know Taehyung has been bothering me lately?” Cringing, you realise that makes it sound like he’s annoying you. And as much as you wish he wouldn’t tease you about this whole admirer thing, he wasn’t annoying you.

“Scratch that. I made him sound bad. He’s not bothering me really, it’s just...I think Jimin and him are on one of their matchmaking crusades again. Taehyung’s been telling me for ages that I’ve got a secret admirer and I pretty much ignored him because I thought he was just making it up. Only now Jimin’s got involved and it’s someone I know and see often?” You don’t notice the way Seokjin freezes for a moment, his hand pausing over the top of the book he was about to pick up.

“Oh...really?” His voice is weirdly high for a moment before he coughs roughly, clearing whatever had caused the pitch change before it’s back to normal. “A...secret admirer? How long has he been telling you that?”

Making a face, you wave your hand aimlessly in an unsure gesture as you shrug simultaneously. “I don’t know. At least a few months I think, I haven’t been keeping track. But when I pointed out the other day that I know everyone in Appleseed Grove, both Jimin and he decided to up the ante and are starting to give me clues. So now I know it’s at least someone who I interact with and not just someone who happens to live here. Which is still a really big pool to pick from given my job.”

Sighing deeply, you stretch out one leg before moving your hands to rest on the floor behind you, holding your upper body up as you stretch. There’s a soft fluttering as your wings stretch too and you shiver slightly as they brush against Seokjin’s own, lacing his with burnished copper pixie dust. Twisting your lips, you look over to where Seokjin is sitting staring at the pile of books.

Frowning, you reach over to poke his muscular thigh playful and tilt your head when he looks up. He has an almost curious expression on his face and you give him a questioning glance. There’s no response from him for a few seconds, instead, he just seems to look over your face intently before giving you a tight smile.

“Nothing more than that? No like...name hints or jobs or anything?” Seokjin asks, looking back away from you to start rearranging the books into alphabetical authors. Watching him, you tap at your lips before sighing and shaking your head.

“No. But it’s your brother. And my brother. We know what they’re like. They’ll get me believing them and it’ll turn out to be some old guy. Or even a bird knowing Taehyung. For all I know, they’re just talking bird poop to me and there’s no one.” That gets a snort from Seokjin and you look at him in confusion.

When he realises you’re staring, he coughs awkwardly and you can’t help but smile at the way his ears burn red, a shade almost similar to the rich red of the apple he lives in. His cheeks are soon flushing too and you have to bite your lip to make sure you don’t let yourself laugh too loudly to embarrass him even more.

Still, you want to know what’s got him like that so you stay carefully quiet to let him explain himself. After a minute of silence, that’s particularly awkward, he must realise that you’re not going to let the conversation move on until you’re done. Resting his hand on the cover of the book he’s placed onto the shelf, he takes a surprisingly big breath that has your brows raising slightly.

“I’m pretty sure there’s someone. I mean...n-not that I-I know who it i-is but like...you’re so nice a-and stuff. So...I-I mean, Taehyung is probably right. D-don’t you think?” Slowly, your lips twist up into a smile as you feel suddenly shy at his sweet praise. Hearing Seokjin sound so sure that there’s someone out there who likes you makes butterflies flutter inside your stomach and you feel the small flame of hope that maybe it’s even him.

It’s ridiculous of course because Seokjin is way out of your league. Like, he’s not even in the same realm as you so there’s no point in even hoping really. He’s a fruit pixie from a long, unbroken line of fruit pixies who is also ridiculously handsome and intelligent. There’s no way he’d want to lower himself to be with you.

Still...you can’t help but have a small hope. That crush from years ago apparently never died.

“Maybe. It’s a nice thought, right? I’m not exactly the greatest catch in Appleseed though.” Now he’s the one snorting, his eyes rolling in exasperation before he lets out an expletive, pushing at your arm hard enough until you’re almost falling over.

“Don’t say that. You’re beautiful, smart and have a great job. Anyone would be honoured!” Almost as if he realises what he’s just said, his eyes go wide and his already pink cheeks redden even further. “I-I mean...w-well. Y-yeah, what I said.”

Smiling gently, you reach and take his hand, squeezing it gently in thanks before gently scooting over the pile of books on your side. Even though you’d come here to get an idea of how to handle Taehyung, you feel pretty content now given that even Seokjin thought the admirer might be real. It made you feel a little excited to know that there could be someone out there, dreaming of living a domestic life with you.

“Thanks, Seokjin, you’re too sweet. I put the book I took out behind the desk, are you okay if I take something else?” You gesture back towards the end of the aisle and miss the way Seokjin’s eyes go a little soft at you. 

“Yeah, sure. That’s fine. Just...write down what you took and I’ll note it down in the lodger. And hey...just ignore Taehyung if you want. I’ve learnt that eventually, he gets bored if he gets no real reply.” He gives you a small smile, looking remarkably small for someone so big as he sits there on the floor and you give him a smile of thanks in response. 

“Maybe. I was going to do that but...I mean, if it is real...maybe I should go along with it? Find out who it is. You never know, it could be my future husband or wife. I’d be silly to turn that down right? It’s a little exciting too like I’m in school again.” Giggling, you give him a bright smile before waving goodbye and heading back out.

Once you’ve left his sight, Seokjin’s shoulders deflate with the long-suffering sigh he lets out while his head flops forward. Closing his eyes, he stays that way for a moment while mentally imaging all the ways he could murder Taehyung and Jimin without their bodies ever being found. He’d read enough books to be able to pull it off, surely. 

Flower stems, he hated that he’d gotten drunk that one night with them all and accidentally blurted his long-held crush for you. It was something that everyone had already figured out long ago but that night, he’d confirmed it. And of course, his little brother and his annoyance-in-arms best friend had decided to do something about it and play matchmaker.

But what was he meant to do? He couldn’t kill them now because you looked to be too invested in the mystery of it all, the romance of everything. Would you be disappointed if you found out it was him though? He knew that he was good looking but at the end of the day, he was still the shy and introverted librarian who didn’t get too involved with everyone else. Not exactly the best catch.

Glancing back to where you’d gone, he chewed on his lip slowly before taking in a deep breath. Or maybe you would be happy with the revelation. If he let it get revealed of course. Would you ever consider him as a potential future husband?

Seokjin knew that the only way to find out that was to let you find out who your admirer was. But he was suddenly struck with uncertainty at the knowledge you’d find out via Taehyung and Jimin. Surely you’d like it better if he confessed himself? It’d be better coming from him right? Or would you be angry that he hadn’t said anything when you’d sat here, talking about it so confused?

Swallowing thickly, he wondered what the right decision was. And if he’d even make that decision or make a fool out of himself for everyone else to see.

-

The next few weeks are busier than ever for you with the coming Harvest Festival. It was one of the biggest events in the year and saw all pixies getting involved with harvesting the communal gardens. Thanks were given to the goddess of the harvest, Alixtra, and everyone celebrated in the hopes of a bountiful harvest next year as well.

As such, you were not only coordinating where you were going to be spending the Festival but also helping the children to get involved. That involved getting them to make special banners and decorations that would be hung throughout Appleseed Grove while also teaching them the importance of the Festival.

You were also being bombarded with Taehyung and Jimin. The two mischief-makers had gotten it firmly into their heads that they simply needed to have you figure out who the admirer was and so they’d upped their game. It almost felt like you couldn’t have a single conversation with them without them mentioning it.

As much as you’d indulge them under normal circumstances however, you were a little too stressed with trying to sort everything out to truly appreciate their efforts. So the most they were doing is successfully annoying you and making you wish that you didn’t even have a secret admirer.

Honestly, it was all just becoming a little too much from them and you’d snapped more than a few times. You had more important things to be worrying about than whatever they were cooking up. And you knew that they were planning something for the Festival. There was no way they couldn’t be.

Groaning quietly, you pressed a hand to your forehead as you tried to rub away the headache that was brewing. Today had been particularly stressful with the children deciding to be completely uncooperative. You’d had to clean up so much mess along with dealing with two tantrums and three fights.

It seemed the excitement of it all was getting to them. As much as you wanted to be angry at their behaviour, which was normally excellent, you couldn’t because they were just children. Children who were being a little overwhelmed by the fact everyone was suddenly making a big deal of the Festival. If the adults were getting stressed over it, then it wasn’t surprising that the children were struggling to cope with their emotions too.

So you’d soothed the tears when some of them had gotten too upset when their painting didn’t go right and you placated frayed tempers between friends until they were hugging each other once more. The downside to being the calm person throughout it all was that you had taken on their negative emotions.

As a result, you needed to calm down and the best way to do that was to take yourself off somewhere. Which was why you were at the aviary, the home of all the birds that Taehyung helped to train. They didn’t all live there obviously, most of them lived freely and returned when called but many chose to stay in the warm, comfortable spaces made for them.

And one of those birds was Sweetsong, Taehyung’s swallow who was his pride and joy. She was, as her name implied, incredibly sweet and had a pretty birdsong when she felt like it. You had permission to take her out whenever she wasn’t being used by Taehyung as you enjoyed riding but couldn’t afford a bird. They were too expensive to maintain, unfortunately, so you simply rode Sweetsong.

You were kind of glad of it, to be honest as you loved her. Heading into the aviary, you called out her name and smiled as she chirped before fluttering down to meet you. Big, intelligent black eyes take you in for a moment before she recognises you and twitters happily, pushing her soft head against you.

Sweetsong was a typical swallow bird with indigo feathers that turned into a navy blue across her head and wings. Her breast was covered in the softest feathers of cream and white, evidently having been groomed by Taehyung recently, while the lower half of her face was a burnt orange. 

“Hey girl, how are you?” You murmur to her, smiling as you stroke her face gently. She follows you out of the aviary obediently and stands quietly as you retrieve the spider silk tack that was made just for her. It’s incredibly strong and light, which is ideal given how fine-boned she was, with the underneath covered in the highest quality moss to prevent her feathers from being pulled or caught.

Looping the bridle around her head and carefully adding the saddle, you reach for a handful of grain from one of the leaf bins nearby and feed it to her while checking her over. Years of handling her meant she was content to simply wait for you and you smiled, nodding happily as you accepted she was okay.

“Okay Sweetsong, let’s go for a fly, hm?” Whispering to her, you kiss her beak before moving to the saddle. Pushing with your wings, you landed with grace and positioned yourself as you’d been taught when you were younger. Almost immediately, Sweetsong changes position and you feel her becoming more alert and ready.

Clicking your tongue quietly at her, she tilts her head in response before spreading her magnificent wings. You only get a moment to admire them though before she’s pushing off, the sound loud against the quietness of the evening and soon enough, you’re both rushing through the air as she moves faster.

Grinning broadly, you hold onto the reins and lean in so that the air doesn’t hurt as much, letting your wings find their perfect position so they’re not uncomfortable while flying. While pixies were perfectly capable of flying and did often, it was tiring to fly long distances. Which was why different birds were trained, allowing them to carry you when you wouldn’t be able to.

Rising higher and higher into the sky, you both cleared the forest with ease. Taking in a deep breath of cold, fresh air, you sit upright as Sweetsong finds an air current and begins to glide along with it. She chirps happily, singing a song to her wild free who flutter out of the treetops as well.

The forest is far below you now, the green tops of them a never-ending sight as they extend out towards the horizon in all directions. Almost sensually they move, flowing together as the wind rushes through them and you’re reminded of the rushing river close to Appleseed. It’s far stronger than the simple creek that slithers through the Grove but the movement of the canopy reminds you of it for a moment.

Closing your eyes, you take a deep breath and simply enjoy how relaxing it feels to be so high. There are no worries up here, no stress or anxiety. No secret admirers or annoying little brothers. It’s just you and Sweetsong with the final rays of the sun painting a striking image across the sky in pinks, oranges, purples and yellows. 

This was exactly what you needed after the day you’d had. After the month you’ve had really. It was just...relaxing to have nothing to concern yourself about for an hour or so. Sweetsong flew steadily for you and the day was ending beautifully, making you positive that you’d made the right decision to take her out.

“Ah girl, what am I gonna do?” You sighed out, reaching forward to stroke the silky soft feathers of the swallow’s head. What you were asking that question about exactly, you weren’t sure. A lot of things were uncertain lately and you just didn’t know how to handle it all. Still, it felt nice to just ignore civilization for a while and instead just fly.

So that’s what you do for the next hour. The two of swooping and soaring through the air, travelling a good distance before heading back home. You can tell that Sweetsong is happy to just be able to fly how she wants given the cute noises she makes the whole time and you can’t help but laugh at them. Despite Taehyung being an annoyance for you lately, you wouldn’t deny that he’d done a good job with training her.

His pride and joy.

Appleseed Grove isn’t visible from the air at first, not unless you have a hawk’s vision. But the lower Sweetsong gets, the better you get to see your home. The small oil lamps have been lit for the night, giving the Grove a warm and cosy look while you see a few stragglers who are out enjoying the last of the evening light.

All around the Grove is a range of fruits, nuts and vegetables that are home to so many pixies. Single pixies and whole families of them arranged neatly in whatever magic is inherent to you all. A few tree trunks are hollowed out for social needs such as the school but otherwise, it’s a burst of pretty colours that blend.

Landing at the aviary, you quickly get off Sweetsong and set about getting her ready for the night. The bridle and saddle are removed while you quickly go and get the feather shine Taehyung had developed long ago. Running it along her feathers gently, you smiled at her pleased and content noises and kissed her beak once more.

Once she is ready to go back in for sleep, you walk in with her and give her a nightly feed. When Taehyung had agreed to let you take her out whenever you’d also agreed to care for her when you came back. That meant grooming her once finished and feeding her, along with cleaning her tack.

Which is why once you’ve got her all settled, you sit down on one of the small seats made from a broken branch to begin cleaning. The spider silk bridle is so light and dainty in your hands, yet you know it’s near enough impossible to break. Still, it can get dirty quite easily and the moss has to be cared for to make sure it doesn’t go bad.

“Y/N?” Your name is called makes you jump in surprise, the sound loud and unexpected in the quietness of the aviary. Looking around at the entrance with wide eyes, you frown for a moment in confusion at the sight of Seokjin before giving him a friendly smile.

“Hey Seokjin, how are you?” You ask politely, watching as he moves inside from the doorway. He’s playing with his hands, fingers pushing and rubbing against each other and you frown as you realise that he’s nervous for some reason. Although it was Seokjin and he wasn’t exactly famed for having an outgoing disposition.

“Hi, I’m err...I’m good. Yeah, good.” Tilting your head at him, your eyes narrow as you wonder what’s so wrong. He sounds like something’s wrong and you go to get up, unsure if you’re needed for something. Although what help you could be, you didn’t know.

“N-no, don’t get up. It’s okay. I just...I mean...I have something to tell you. Myself. Before others tell you. I just…” He swallows, his face paler than usual and you watch intently as he wipes at his brow with shaking hands. “I want you to hear it from me. And I’m sorry that I haven’t told you before now. But…it’s just...it’s you.”

Raising an eyebrow at him, you wonder what he’s talking about as he’s making no sense to you. Who was going to tell you something? And what did he need you to know so desperately? You only really saw him when you went to the library so you couldn’t think of anything hugely important. Unless you’d forgotten to take a book back or something.

“I-I like you. It’s me. Your secret admirer. It’s, well, it’s me. I err, I don’t remember when it started or anything b-but it was a long time ago. I just...y-you’re so pretty and outgoing. I never knew h-how to talk to you properly like that. And I didn’t think that you’d like me like that either. But then you said that about Taehyung and Jimin and I panicked because what if you found out from them and not from me?” He continues to babble for a few minutes but all you can focus on is two immediate facts.

Firstly, he likes you. As in...romantically likes you. All those crushes you’d had as a teenager immediately come rushing to fore as you try to understand the fact that Kim Seokjin, the incredibly handsome and intelligent Kim Seokjin who was way out of your realm, liked you. This must be a dream or something. 

The only explanation.

Secondly, he was your secret admirer? That gets the biggest frown from you as you try to comprehend it. Taehyung and Jimin had been pretty clumsy with their hints obviously, but they were right in the hints they had given you. You did know him well and you did interact with him frequently.

Plus, the fact that Seokjin was Taehyung’s older brother and Jimin was Taehyung’s best friend...it all made sense. Though why they’d started their crusade to get you together, you weren’t entirely sure. You were positive that you hadn’t given any hint to the fact that you could potentially like Seokjin.

Pushing those thoughts out of your head though, you decide that the most important concern right now is to make sure that the fruit pixie doesn’t give himself a heart attack. Which looks a distinct possibility given how stressed he’s looking right now.

Giving him a gentle smile, you reach out and take one of his shaking hands and invite him to sit next to you. The way he almost falls onto the seat has you biting your lip to stop yourself from laughing though it’s not helped by the way his eyes are so wide, almost like he’s seen a ghost or something.

“Hey, hey, Seokjin. Please...just calm down. It’s okay. I’m not going to be mean or anything. Just...take a breath and explain it to me properly. You’re my admirer? You like me?” The way your lips curl up into a smile as you say those words is mirrored by the warm and fuzzy feeling in your stomach.

Seokjin pauses, body stilling completely for a second as he acknowledges what you’ve said before nodding slowly. He’s not looking at you now, instead focusing firmly on the ground before him. Licking at your lips, you wonder how to handle this and it goes quiet for a few moments.

“Wow, teenage me would be dying of excitement right now,” You tease him lightly, pushing at his shoulder with your own as you grin at his surprise. “And I’ll be honest...adult me is pretty happy with this news too. You like me? A vegetable pixie?”

That gets a snort of derision from him and you almost sigh in relief at how his annoyance with the intricacies of the pixie social hierarchy is stronger than his nerves. Leaning into him a little, you inhale deeply and smile at the sweet scent he gives off.

“I don’t care about that! Who cares?! It means nothing other than your magic chose that to manifest in. Some of the smartest pixies in history weren’t fruit pixies so why does it matter? I mean, you teach the future of our society in school and…” He carries on with his rant, his strong brows furrowed inwards as he gesticulated wildly to go along with his anger.

It makes you feel a little warm at how he repudiates the societal expectations that you’d both grown up with. Pursing your lips, you let him finally finish before he takes a deep breath to steady himself. Then he looks directly at you, those beautiful and emotive mahogany eyes feeling like they’re staring deep into you.

“I like you Y/N. I-I’ve never dared to say it before because I didn’t think you’d like me back. I’m nothing like you and I know that. But I was with some friends one night and we got to drinking honey sugar so I was a little drunk and...yeah. That’s where Taehyung and Jimin found out about my feelings. I don’t know if I was going to get the courage to tell you but when you told me what they were doing...I couldn’t let you find out that way. Nor did I want to get blindsided by their scheming. If you want to reject me then…I-I’d rather you do it in private than whatever they’re planning.” He finished, round cheeks flushing a red that makes him look rather sweet while his eyes almost seem to shine in the low light.

You don’t respond for a minute, simply looking him over carefully and you note the way his broad shoulders seem to slump at what he probably thinks is a rejection. In reality, though, you’re just admiring how brave and bold he was to come to you and tell you this. Tell you his feelings that he was planning to keep to himself because he thought there was no chance.

All this, so you didn’t get hurt or upset at finding out who your admirer was. There was some selfish nature too as he didn’t want to get rejected in a public setting but still. You could only imagine how difficult it was to put yourself and your feelings out here like this while having no idea what the potential outcome could be.

Reaching for his hand, you take it and gently squeeze it reassuringly. He looks down and swallows hard when you manoeuvre your hands until your fingers are laced together. Lip quirking, you note how natural it looks to have them like that before you glance back up at him.

“I’m not going to lie, Seokjin. I didn’t exactly expect it to be you. I mean, I thought it would be nice but I thought that you were way out of my league and that I had no chance. So to find out that it’s you? I mean...I can’t think of anyone who I’d rather it be now. More So because you found the courage to tell me without letting me get suckered into whatever our brothers were planning. I appreciate that I do.” Pausing, you run your finger along the back of his hand and trace the veins and tendons there.

Seokjin doesn’t respond, instead just letting you explore while you get your thoughts together. You wanted to make sure that you did this right because you certainly were not planning on letting Seokjin walk out of here with a broken heart.

“I’m happy it’s you. And I can’t say that I feel exactly the same, but I know that I want more with you now. If you’ll accept it and accept me?” Once more, Seokjin’s eyes widen to the point that you’re almost surprised they don’t fall out. His wings twitch and vibrate almost intensely behind him, rose pink pixie dust fluttering to the ground as his nerves get the best of his control.

“Really?” Is all he blurts out, his plump lips forming an ‘o’ shape of surprise and you snort with laughter as you nod. Poking at them gently, you then let your fingers trace lightly over the smooth and silky soft skin of his cheek until you’re cupping it.

“Really. I’d be an idiot to say no to this offer! You’re quiet and shy, yes, but I love that about you. You’re also so intelligent and kind and funny. Always willing to put a smile on everyone’s face, even if it’s at the expense of yourself. There’s no way I’m going to turn you down, Mr Kim. So the question is...do you want this to become a relationship? An actual, romantic relationship with no interference from our brothers?” He’s silent for a moment, simply staring at you in what looks like awe.

It makes you wriggle in your seat, the spider silk bridle still carefully in your lap while the gentle sounds of the sleeping birds above you both form a piece of natural background music. Finally, though, you see his shocked face turn into one of pure happiness as his eyes practically light up with excitement, his cheeks rising as the smile on his face grows so broad.

“Yes! Definitely, of course. I mean...are you serious?” Giggling, you nod as he continues to stutter out questions to you. Squeezing his hand once more, you grin broadly as he almost floats off the seat in pure exhilaration, his wings releasing so much pixie dust that you can see it glittering in front of you as it floats on the gentle breeze.

“One thing though,” You say, causing him to pause with dread seeping into his expression. “We are going to get our own back on our brothers.”

-

The Harvest Festival always began early in the morning, when the first rays of sun began to lighten the sky and the birds sang their first notes for the day. For as long as there was natural light, pixies from all over Appleseed Grove would work together to harvest the crops before celebrating during the night.

It was your favourite time of the year. You were able to see the fruits and vegetables that had been carefully grown over the summer months and know that the winter was going to be easy this year. A year with a bad harvest meant that winter was a struggle, and no one wanted that.

But so far today, you've helped to harvest the strawberry fields. A few strawberries had left your basket and made their way into your mouth, their succulent bodies were ripe with juice and bursting with a sweet flavour. It was customary for pixies to indulge in some of the harvests, as long as it wasn’t going to impact on the overall crop. 

You’d already filled six baskets with the luscious red fruit, the pile of strawberries being carefully placed by more volunteers into boxes. These volunteers had the most magic in the Grove, and they used that magic to seal the boxes. This meant the contents remained in an almost frozen manner, staying fresh for the coming months instead of rotting away.

No one knew how it worked really, nor did anyone know how they did it. It was just something instinctive that they did. You knew because you’d asked Taehyung one year. His family was rich in magic and they were always part of the sealers. He hadn’t been able to give you an answer as he didn’t know how he did it, just that it happened without conscious thought.

Through a little subtle influence, you’d managed to make it so that Seokjin was one of the sealers at the strawberry fields today. No one knew that you were together yet. It had been two weeks since you had agreed to start a relationship. Two weeks that had been almost dreamlike for you.

You visited his home after dark, feeling like you were breaking the rules or something, and enjoyed his company throughout the evening. Sometimes it was just making dinner today, feeling very domestic, other times it was reading against each other in silence. There had been a few incidents where the two of you had gotten a little more...involved than you’d anticipated, resulting in you having to rush out of his home in the early morning in the hopes you could get back to your home and change your clothes.

It was all very exciting and exhilarating, made even better by the fact that you loved to see the warm smile of happiness that spread whenever he looked at you. If you’d thought he was handsome before, then it was nothing compared to now when you could have him however you wanted him.

You were pretty sure you were fast on the track to loving this pixie.

The only reason you were both remaining quiet about your relationship was so that your little brothers wouldn’t find out too early. You’d been entirely serious when you’d told Seokjin that you wanted to get back at them. They had far too much fun pranking people and you felt it was time that they got a dose of their own medicine.

Seokjin had just fully agreed, laughing at the thought of outsmarting Taehyung for once. And he’d loved your plan as well. The both of you were going to have to be impeccable actors tonight.

For now though, you’d had to just settle with subtle touches of each other whenever you’d passed, a hand running along his back or arm or a gentle squeeze of your arm when you handed him another basket of strawberries. The smiles between you both were perhaps a little softer than one might expect, your eyes a little more loved up but no one was looking too closely.

It felt nice though, to have someone to smile and laugh with. You just couldn’t wait until it was finally out in the open, even if Seokjin was a little nervous about how people would react. For you, you didn’t care about the general population’s opinion. It was the parents that worried you a little.

Oh, your parents would be ecstatic at you getting into a relationship with one of the most eligible pixies in Appleseed. It was a step up for you, going straight from vegetable to fruit and Seokjin’s family were well respected. But you were worried about how they would react to you. For Seokjin, they would probably view it as him lowering himself.

You had hope though because Seokjin had made it abundantly clear that he didn’t care about anyone else’s views in regards to that. He liked you as you were and he’d told you many times over the last two weeks that he had never wanted anyone else. Which was always surprising to hear, but it warmed your stomach still.

Now though, the light in the sky was beginning to wane as nature painted it in streaks of oranges, yellows and reds while the sun began to set. The lanterns around the Grove were being lit and the bubbling sense of excitement seeped into the atmosphere. 

You’d finished picking only around half an hour ago, the strawberry fields officially empty of any of the fruit. The boxes were all sealed and had been moved to the communal storage where they would remain until they were needed. Many other pixies sat around as well, chattering with each other as they waited for the final signal.

Seokjin was sitting next to you, tiredness etched into his face as he blinked blearily and you snorted, reaching over to push at him slightly.

“What are you so tired for? You weren’t walking the fields and picking!” Teasing him, you grin as he pulls a face and lets out an outraged yell. It gets a few looks from others but they just turn away with a smile, used to the way Seokjin was the loudest quiet person they’d ever known.

“Hey! I’ve been busy too. I just...I’m not used to all this manual labour stuff, you know? Or socialising this much. I work in a library for a reason.” He states plainly, his face carefully blank and you can’t help but snort in amusement. Perhaps it was different for you. Being a teacher meant that you spent most of your day on your feet, running around after children and picking up their stuff.

Shaking your head slightly, you can’t help but lean against him and enjoy the warmth he’s giving off. The nights are slowly beginning to get colder and you’re already not looking forward to the coldness of winter. Frost and ice were not friendly to a tiny pixie and you shuddered at the thought of it already. 

The fear of your wings freezing and breaking was something that began in childhood and never quite left.

Remaining quiet for a few minutes, you found yourself almost dozing off on Seokjin’s shoulder. The hard work you’d done throughout the day was combined with how comfortable and safe you felt with him, his now-familiar scent soothing you and lulling you to sleep.

The sudden ringing of a bell throughout Appleseed Grove, the sound echoing off the trunks of the giant trees surrounding you, causes you to jerk upright. Eyes wide, you almost don’t hear the way Seokjin laughs as you realise your wings are fluttering in fright. Glancing behind, you grimace at the sight of the glittering pixie dust left from your wings, orange dust shimmering in the light.

“Finally!” You exhale, standing up and stretching with a tiny groan. A warm hand resting on your suddenly exposed stomach makes you grunt, shrinking back down and looking at Seokjin with wide eyes. He simply grins and shrugs, gesturing to the fact that almost everyone had practically sprinted off anyway.

“No one’s looking, it’s okay. Come on then, sweetpea. Let’s go enjoy the evening!” Seokjin doesn’t take your hand to lead you down to the centre of the Grove, instead resting his own on the small of your back and gently guiding you there. Smiling at him, you take a moment to quickly kiss his cheek while you have the chance before eagerly rushing past the now barren fields.

The bell signalled that the harvest was complete and stored away for winter. It also meant that the partying could begin, with everyone making their way back to the hamlet and getting ready to celebrate through the night and give thanks to Alixtra for what she had blessed you all with.

“I’ll see you soon, okay?” You say to Seokjin once you reach the first homes, looking up at him and giving him a bright smile as he nods. He doesn’t kiss you, but his hand lingers on your back before you go. You’re not sure what he’s going to do, for now, perhaps go and pay his respects to Alixtra at the Harvest Shrine.

But you’re on a mission as you have a specific job to do now.

Searching through the Grove, you eventually manage to round up your entire class and have them all gathered around you. The children have spent the day running through the various fields and playing, encouraging their parents and the other adults to work well while enjoying themselves. Now they all stand before you, looking suitably tired yet excited.

Children did not participate in the harvest itself, but they did have an important role to play during the Festival. Alongside helping you decorate and creating a suitably atmospheric mood for Appleseed Grove, they were also the ones who would make offerings to Alixtra for a good bounty next year as well.

Each child had a fruit or vegetable that had been picked today, the biggest and best of each crop held tightly in their small hands. Smiling at them all as you counted them, you crouched down and brought them all in closer.

“Okay everyone, we’re going to do this just like we practiced, remember?” They all nod at you seriously, their faces carefully restrained while their eyes gleamed with repressed emotion. “Good, come on then. Everyone’s waiting!”

Walking through the crowd of pixies that surrounded the Harvest Shrine, you smiled at them all in turn as they gave way to you and your little procession. Cooing and soft murmurs of joy rippled through them as they took in the sight of the tiny children and their big harvest, each small face full of concentration that made them look even more adorable.

Reaching the Harvest Shrine, you bowed your head reverently to the carving of Alixtra before gesturing to the children. Each one came forward and placed their harvest onto the wooden altar, bowing their head as you’d taught them before taking a step back. This continued on until everyone was done and the shrine was filled.

Looking them over as they stood in a straight line, their hands all linked together as you’d taught them, you grin before nodding your head to let them know they could finish.

“Thank you Alixtra for this harvest. Please accept our labour and bless us for next year.” The words were carefully monotonous as each child tried hard to remember what they’d learnt. You bite your lip to prevent the smile that wants to leave as some of them mess up their words but overall, it’s good and you feel unbelievable pride at them all.

Once done, they look at you and burst into grins and cheers of excitement as you nod your head in satisfaction at them. Laughing finally, you crouch and accept all their hugs before watching as they rush off to find their parents. The noise level increases exponentially as everyone begins to celebrate finally. There are no more rituals to perform, just excitement and fun to be had.

Looking around the Grove, you take in everything for a second with a smile. The lanterns give everything a warm, friendly atmosphere as they bring an orange glow to the bark of the surrounding trees. Festive bunting strung from house to house and tree to tree flutter gently in the soft breeze. The scent of honey glazed pine nuts and hazelnut crusted apple slices dances through the air lazily, causing your stomach to rumble in anticipation.

The familiar outline of your younger brother catches your attention though, his sweet laugh reaching your ears as he hands Jiwon a strawprise. It was a terrible name that had been coined long ago by a travelling pixie who had introduced it to Appleseed Grove. Half a strawberry coated in a sticky honey glaze and grilled before being coated in orange peel. It was delicious and a favourite snack to enjoy when the weather was warm.

You’re not surprised to see your siblings together. They are twins after all. What’s even less of a surprise is the way Jimin’s eyes light up when he spots you, his smile growing even bigger and brighter.

Sighing deeply, you steel yourself as you realise this is going to be the moment. The moment that Jimin and Taehyung have been working towards. When they would finally reveal to you who your secret admirer was.

What they didn’t know though, was that Seokjin and you had been working on your own plan to ruin their own. Whether or not you’d manage to pull it off was an entirely different story. It all depended on if you could both act it out properly without hurting each other or anything.

You’d find out soon enough though. Jimin was herding Jiwon towards you and it was only when they started moving that you realised Seokjin and Taehyung had been there too, hidden by the pixies waiting to be served. Neither of them had noticed you yet, both talking to each other intently while nibbling on their snacks.

Scanning over Seokjin, your stomach flipped at the sight of him. He was beyond handsome, entering the realm of ethereal. How you’d ended up being the one to gain his affection was still a mystery. He made a striking figure against everyone else around him, his height equal to Taehyung’s but towering over your smaller siblings.

While you’d been busy with the children, he must have slipped off to clean up after harvesting as his broad shoulders were highlighted by the white, silk shirt he wore. A lean waist tapered into his dark brown trousers, showing off his long legs which ended in the elegant leather boots. But you mainly focused on his face, admiring how nature had been so kind and generous to him.

His peony pink lips were plush and plump, glistening from the sticky glaze of the maple treat he was eating and you knew from experience that they were just as soft as they looked. Pink hair looked almost artfully styled on top of his head, making his tan skin even richer in the low lights while his eyes were creased in happiness as he laughed at something Taehyung said.

You loved Seokjin’s eyes. Even before you’d started dating, you’d always thought he had the sweetest eyes. Gentle and kind yet intense as well, the long dark lashes that surrounded them giving him an even more dramatic look. Yes, nature had fallen in love with Seokjin and you couldn’t blame her.

When combined with his patient, kind and inquisitive nature, it was impossible to not fall in love with him.

Which was a thought for another day, as even you knew that it was far too soon to be thinking such big thoughts like that. Still, your wings fluttered in anticipation at the sight of him as you hoped they wouldn’t betray the fact you were happy. It wouldn’t do to let Jimin and Taehyung achieve their little goal.

It’s not long before they’re greeting you, joy-filled on all their faces and beating out the exhaustion of all the work from today. You’re careful to act very politely with Seokjin, hoping you two aren’t letting on that you’re a little closer than your siblings might realise. As far as they were aware, you two were only acquainted and didn’t particularly consider each other friends.

“You’re free for the night now, right?” Jimin asks, slinging his arm around your shoulders before squeezing tightly. Cringing from the tight embrace, you poke at his side until he’s yelping and pulling away with a pout before holding out the strawprise he’d brought over for you. 

“Thank you. And yeah, I’m all done now. Everyone else finished?” You didn’t think anyone else had any other jobs to do tonight but you weren’t entirely sure given how busy you’d been arranging your own time. Everyone shakes their head, including Seokjin, and you smile at them all happily.

“Great, then we can all just enjoy the night. Did you all have a good day?” The five of you move off to find an empty spot of grass, close enough to the festivities to be able to see, hear and smell everything but far enough that you can all hear each other without having to shout. Fluttering your wings slightly, you shift until you’re comfortable with them before realising that Taehyung and Jimin had moved around until Seokjin was sitting next to you.

It took a surprising amount of effort on your behalf to not reach out and touch him, especially when he’d placed his hand so close to yours on the ground. From this angle, he almost glowed in the gentle lights and you wanted to just rest your chin on your knees and watch him, fascinated with how quickly you’d fallen for him.

A sudden tickling sensation against your highly sensitive wings has you stiffening with wide eyes, glancing behind quickly to spot Seokjin’s translucent wing resting against your own softly. Twinkles of pink dust mixed with your burnt orange to create a beautiful image and you bit your lip as you turned back around, pleased with the subtle physical affection he was giving you.

Your wings were the most sensitive part of you with each pixie taking plenty of care to look after them. They weren’t as fragile as they looked, but it was considered especially rude to touch another’s wings on purpose. That social norm changed when you were in a relationship though and it was considered more intimate.

No one could see what Seokjin had done, but it made your stomach feel warm and tingly. Hiding your smile behind the strawprise that you eat slowly, you listen to Jiwon and Jimin start to argue over who had picked the most blackberries today. They’d both been based in that field and as usual, it had turned into a competition.

The argument certainly wasn’t helped by Taehyung making inputs now and then, grinning when both twins glared at him for ruining their point. Finishing your snack, you sighed and shook your head at all three of the younger siblings.

“I swear, is it impossible for you three to be around without it devolving into bickering? I see fewer arguments from the children I teach than from you all.” Jimin sticks his tongue at you in what was a very mature move while Jiwon scrunches her face up. Chuckling at them both, you glance over at Seokjin with a raised brow. 

“Hey, don’t look at me! Taehyung and I don’t fight all that often.” He says with a laugh, holding his hands up almost like he’s trying to protect himself. That gets a snort from Jimin who looks at the fruit pixie next to you sardonically.

“Please, you live to bicker with Tae! And that’s nothing compared to when you’re around Jungkook. The three of you together are even worse than Jiwon and me.” Seokjin’s ears turn a delightful shade of red at Jimin’s accusation and he splutters as he tries to reject it. Giggling, you reach out and brush the hair from his forehead affectionately before letting your fingers trail to his now hot ears.

“Are you serious?” Taehyung suddenly shouts, causing you to jump in surprise and look at him with wide eyes. Your expression quickly morphs from one of a shock to confusion given the dual looks of surprise mixed with consternation on both Jimin and him.

And then you realise what you’d just done. The overly affectionate physical affection you’d just given Seokjin in a very public environment when you weren’t an overly affectionate person in general. On top of that, Seokjin had accepted your touch without complaint and without flinching away, something he would have never done before you’d started a relationship.

“Oh, apple trees.” You curse, pressing the palm of your hand to your face as you realise that instead of Seokjin and you ruining their plan, instead, you’d ruined your plan to ruin their plan. All because you can’t keep your hands off the handsome pixie next to you.

The quiet sigh from your right lets you know that Seokjin has realised that the game is up too. Thankfully though, he doesn’t appear to be too bothered by it. Instead, he just takes the opportunity to take your hand, lacing his fingers with yours and giving you the softest smile that makes his eyes shine with happiness.

“You two are together?” Jimin asks, his eyes wide as they dart from Seokjin’s face to yours then to your hands and back again. It almost makes you laugh at how surprised he looks and you realise that you at least got some victory in that they didn’t get to do whatever they were planning. Maybe this was the better result anyway.

“Yes. We did want to let you two go ahead with whatever you were going to plan tonight and then ruin it all for you to make up for all the times that you’ve annoyed us but that hasn’t worked.” Sighing, you shuffle a little closer to Seokjin before resting your head on one of his delightfully broad shoulders. He smells just as good as he had this morning and you wish that it was just you two, enjoying each other’s company alone amidst the revelry from everyone.

“Wha...when...when did this happen?” Now it’s Taehyung’s turn to have that outraged tone to his voice, which makes you feel a little better really. As much as you liked him, it was nice to finally have the upper hand this time.

“A few weeks ago. I’d gone to the library to take a book back and talked to Seokjin, telling him about you two and my ‘secret admirer’. Obviously, my ‘secret admirer’ was worried about what you were going to do so came and confessed before you could embarrass him. Or me.” Glancing up at Seokjin, you note his ears are going red again and smile softly, leaning to press a kiss to his cheek.

“We wouldn’t have embarrassed you…” Your younger brother trails off but his awkward expression catches him out, letting you know that they were probably planning exactly that. It’s made even worse by the way Jiwon snorts and rolls her eyes, pushing at Jimin’s shoulder hard.

“Liar, I’ve heard you two. I’m glad you spoiled it,” She grins at you before clapping her hands together in excitement, pure happiness shining from her as she looks you both over. “You’re so cute together!”

Now it’s your turn to feel shy and you press your face into Seokjin’s shirt, causing his chest to rumble as he laughs quietly. Letting go of your hand, he wraps his arm around your waist while carefully avoiding your wings, gently stroking your side in reassurance.

“Wonnie! Why do you always give up so easily?” Jimin pouts, his lower lip pushing out further than you’ve seen it lately while his eyes go wide and glassy at her. It has zero effect on his twin sister though who just sighs heavily before pushing him hard enough to have him falling over.

“I don’t give up easily, I just know when to not make a fool of myself.” She points out, crossing her arms and ignoring her brother’s attempts to get back in her good books. Taehyung doesn’t even try, just looking both Seokjin and you over carefully before sighing and nodding slowly.

“Okay, you ruined our plans. But it doesn’t matter anyway. You’ve done what I wanted, which is you started my big bro!” Now he’s giving you that trademark boxy smile, his excitement almost palpable as he wiggles in place. Watching him with a raised brow, you look up at Seokjin for potential advice but he just shrugs, obviously used to Taehyung’s changing moods.

“You’re not...mad?” 

“Of course I’m not! I kept hinting it because I wanted you to date him. I know I can be annoying but I’m not cruel. I knew Seokjinnie had a big crush on you and he’d be good for you. So I don’t care that our plan failed because I still achieved my goal. Now you just gotta marry.” That has Seokjin spluttering, coughing up the honey water he’d been sipping at carefully until you’re patting his back in amusement.

“Steady, steady.” You murmur to him, trying not to laugh at the aghast way he looks at Taehyung. Eyes flickering over to Jimin, you watch as your own younger brother gets that look in his eyes that says he’s already planning mischief and you sigh deeply.

“You two are having nothing to do with any potential future engagement, do you hear me? Let us be for a while!” You curse at them both, shaking your fist and making Jiwon chuckle. Looking at her, she holds her hands up to placate you while shaking her head.

“Hey! I’m not getting involved in this so don’t get mad at me!” She pleads and you look away from her, lifting a brow as you look from Taehyung to Jimin carefully. Neither of them says anything but you note with a sinking feeling that they’ve both got those carefully neutral expressions painted on their faces.

The expressions that say they’re going to get up to something.

Almost immediately you stand, pulling Seokjin up with almost pure strength while you point at the two mischief-makers with narrowed eyes. “Don’t even think about it. Let us just enjoy the fact that we’re together, do you understand? And don’t you dare pressure Seokjin into anything!”

Grabbing Seokjin’s hand, you quickly walk away through the crowd before you can hear either of their protestations that they wouldn’t even think of doing such a thing. Seokjin doesn’t say anything either, just letting you lead him between people while you both ignore the fact that your obvious closeness was making subtle waves throughout.

Everyone knew everyone in Appleseed after all, so it wasn’t surprising that people noted your newfound affection towards the librarian. Thankfully though, no one was too inclined to say anything and just let you both go until you were on the other side of the grove, close to the aviary.

The soft cooing of the birds as they settled down for the night complemented the now subdued noises from the festival, letting you both feel like you were still part of everything while giving you both your own space. Leaning back against the fence, you carefully shift your wings over the top until they’re resting carefully before letting out a deep sigh that quickly evolves into a groan.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-” Seokjin cuts you off with a fingertip to your lips, an equally gentle smile on his own as he looks down at you fondly. The lighting isn’t as great here but he still looks beautiful.

“It’s okay Honestly, I’m not the best actor so I wasn’t looking forward to trying to keep a straight face. I’m glad we just got it out there.” His voice is calm and you can tell he’s genuinely not upset at you ruining the plan, perhaps even relieved that you can now both just be together without any of the cloak and dagger behaviour you’ve both been doing.

Although it has been fun to feel young again when you slunk around like you were trying to avoid your parents.

“Yeah...me too. Now we can just...be together. Normally and in the open.” You grin up at him before wrapping your arms around his waist, enjoying the way he feels so solid beneath your hands. Resting your chin on his chest, you close your eyes and simply take in a deep breath, enjoying how peaceful and calm everything seems to be at this moment. How much you just enjoy being around Seokjin, something you hadn’t even realised until you’d started dating.

“You’re happy, right?” Seokjin asks quietly, resting his cheek on your head while his arms come to embrace you around your shoulders. Nodding against him, you give him an affirmative noise as well, unwilling to ruin the moment.

You don’t need him to tell you that he feels the same. The way his arms tighten around you and the soft kiss he presses to your forehead lets you know, causing you to smile as you simply enjoy the moment while the rest of Appleseed Grove celebrates around you.

Despite the annoyance you’d felt at both Taehyung and Jimin only a few months ago with their secret admirer nonsense, you owed them for the fact that Seokjin had finally gotten the courage to tell you his true feelings. Not that you’d ever let them know that of course. But most of all, you were just thankful that Seokjin had decided to come forward.

You may have only been with him for a few weeks now, but you already couldn’t imagine your life without the beautiful fruit pixie in it anymore.

[gryffindors-weasley]

Petals and Promises

Ron Weasley x Reader

Summary: A spring evening spent with Ron.

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: none—fluff, kissing

You must say, the spring season was one that always brought with it a multitude of beauty. Whether it may be the newly blossoming flowers sprinkling colorfully just about everywhere in your slightly overgrown lawn and livening up your house, or the warming temperatures calling for open windows, even the rain showers that arrived whenever they so pleased—you can’t deny how much you love this time of year.

The air was warm yet still brisk enough for a blanket as you lay tucked comfortably within your hammock with Ron, the tattered flannel material draping over the two of you in ruffles of orange and red. It was enough to stave off the chill of the soft breeze that swept over your skin, gentle yet determined to send a shiver through you. Despite that, it brought with it the delightfully sweet scent of the flowers that surround you both, flourishing wildly in the flowerbeds and in the grass. It brought with it the ever so soothing sound as it weaved itself through brilliantly green leaves.

Perhaps the most enamoring thing to be admired out of everything was laying atop your chest, heaps of red hair blowing around softly on his forehead with every gust. The warm sunshine streamed through the branches above you, dancing across your skin, across his flushed cheeks in a golden glow. Ginger lashes curl and splay over the tops of those very cheeks, fluttering each and every time he blinked slowly as he fought valiantly to stay awake. His hand enveloped over top of your own, his grip tightening a fraction each time he needs reminding that you’re still tangled up with him. The unwavering hold on your hand had hindered your ability to turn the pages in your book, but you suppose it was worth the trouble, you knew it was.

It was his idea to come outside and enjoy the weather in the first place, particularly to enjoy it with you, though he simply enjoyed just being with you more than anything else. You knew full well he wouldn’t make it more than ten minutes without drifting off; you were right.

He didn’t entirely fit, his feet dangling over the edge, socks grass-stained and bunched at the ankles. The sunshine and singing of the birds proved to be far more soothing than he’d anticipated, and the way you’d been playing with his hair had him in and out of a slumber. That and the constant tickle of his hair on his face.

Reading the book propped open in your free hand was beginning to become a distracted effort, and you were only distancing yourself from the task the more time that had gone by. The gentle wind had a constant habit of crinkling and creasing your pages each time it’d brushed over them, eliciting an exasperated sigh from you. That, paired with the natural beauty all around you, the setting sun painting the sky in a palette of pinks and oranges; it was reason enough to pull your attention from the pages to elsewhere.

The windows of your sweet little home had been opened to let in the fresh air, the wind pulling the sheer cream curtain over your door blowing outward into daylight as it rests ajar, ruffling freely in the air before fluttering back to the ground for a few moments. Your two cats had wandered their way to the two of you through that very door, sprawled contently underneath your hammock as they relished in the evening sun. Occasionally, they’d paw curiously at Ron’s feet, always drawing a groan from him as he recoiled tighter into you until sleep had its hold on him once more.

You couldn’t have thought of a better way to spend your day if you weren’t honest; it was perfect in all aspects. One might think that the lives of two people with the ability to produce the most powerful of magic would forever lead chaotic lives, and that had been true less than a decade ago. But things were different now.

Magic was still present in your everyday life, it always will be and you would never tire of it. But it was seldom ever used to defend yourselves anymore, never used to harm another. It was used to wash the dishes when you hadn’t felt like it, to startle on another by switching the lights off from another room. It was used to douse each other with water in the backyard in goofy antics before the other could think of something more thrilling as payback. It was used to refill mugs of cocoa and coffee when you hadn’t felt like making anymore, to stir pots on the stove when you were far too caught up in dancing around the kitchen. Ron had learned that one the hard way when he nearly burnt the kitchen down when he’d been far too busy kissing you, admiring you like the lovestruck fool he knew himself to be.

Magic is used after a quidditch match gone wrong, to heal Ron with the most tender of spells and potions as possible. He refuses to go to St. Mungo’s whenever possible, preferring the care of you over anyone else. He claims your magic is much more powerful, though you knew all he’d really been wanting was you.

Magic was used for the fun you’d once imagined it to be as a child. There was far too much hurt and anguish by the hands of that very gift, and the two of you had been determined to use it for good, to use it for the lighthearted ways you’d always loved.

You had a home of your own, filled with moments to be cherished as long as your memory would allow. Filled with dancing in your living room at three o’clock in the morning, and never waking up without each other. To making a mess of the kitchen when baking a cake for the other’s birthday. Of silly anniversaries of things others might consider trivial. It was imperfectly perfect and it was bursting with a warmth and love you’d hoped to have; it was right for the two of you. It was yours.

In time, you felt the tips of his fingers dance tenderly across your wrist and up your arm a few inches more, the gentle touches bringing a soft smile to your face. They trace in unknown shapes for a short while, and unbeknownst to you he’d scrawled invisible ‘I love you’s’ there, his fingers soon splaying over your skin as he grabs your hand once more. You decide then and there that you’d never get any quality reading done beyond that very point, a soft sigh leaving your lips as you close your book and let it fall to the grass below you with a dull thud.

Your other hand brushes through his hair, a bit tangled as your fingers pass through it and you don’t fail to see the way he leans into your touch. Delicate purple flower petals are woven within the ginger locks, cream ones joining in from the two blossoming trees you lay between, and it looked soft and adorable. It was then that he lifted his head and looked at you, your fingers smoothing down his cheek. The smile gracing his lips was nothing short of adoring, and he was still very much groggy with sleep.

“Hey you,” he murmured, a soft laugh leaving his lips at the feeling of his hair sticking to his face. The humidity from that morning’s rainstorm had lingered, curling the ends of his hair.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” you beam, a laugh of your own escaping you as he makes his attempts to move.

His efforts were near futile as the hammock swayed and rocked and proved to be quite unforgiving, mere seconds from sending him tumbling out and onto the ground for what wouldn’t be the first time. But he manages somehow to avoid such a clumsy outcome, the swinging he so ungracefully caused now settling to a stop.

“What d’you mean ‘sleepy head’?” He asks, his words sleepily mingling into one another as his laughter fanned warmly across your lips.

The pad of your thumb brushed over his freckled cheek, the one that’d been significantly more pink than the other from having been pressed against you for the better part of an hour. Not to mention the sleep lines imprinted on his skin. You bit the inside of your cheek in an attempt to stifle your inevitable spill of laughter, thumb now swiping over the drool that had not quite dried at the corner of his mouth.

“You’ve been drifting off this whole time, perhaps the puddle of drool on my shirt will jog your memory,” you jest even though you felt tired yourself, his nose scrunching in protest to your words, “or maybe the snores that could be heard through the whole neighborhood.”

Your giggles intensified when he dropped a flurry of kisses to your neck with the full knowledge of just how ticklish it’d been. Giggles that were quickly muffled when he kissed you, his own having hummed against your mouth. His hair tickled against your forehead, brushing lightly against your cheek. He’d been due for a bit of a haircut; his hair had been dipping over his eyes, nearly dusting over his shoulders as it once had done when he was fourteen.

“Must you always tease me?” He mumbles, the corner of his mouth quirked up in a smile at the sight of yours.

“You make it so easy,” you counter, and he pressed kisses to your cheek. “How could I not?”

“So terribly mean, love,” he sighs, kissing you once more before wedging himself between you and the fabric of the hammock, tugging the flannel blanket up further.

“Yes, but I love you terribly,” you say, your nose bumping his as you look up at him.

The pale pink staining his cheeks is something not from the sunshine on his skin, rather your declaration of love. No matter how often you said it, it would always leave him blushing scarlet—you could say it a hundred times in a row and he’d flush each and every time it fell from your lips. His eyes sparkled blue-green beneath ruffles of ginger, his smile nothing short of beaming.

“I love you an awful lot,” he grins, still sleepy yet still so adoring of you as his eyes flutter closed.

Now it had been your turn to flush a rosy pink, an obvious fact that you tried your hardest to stave off as you leaned up and kissed the underside of his jaw. He tangles his legs with yours once more, pressing a kiss to the top of your head as he basks in the very moment with you. In the very way the sun glimmers over you, golden and glowing, shining upon someone who he feels is the embodiment of that very sunshine. He basked in the way the soft pink petals on the trees above you float down in a floral rain. In the way you loved him as wholly as he did you, and he couldn’t quite believe that wonderfully dizzying fact.

You yawn as you nuzzle your face against his t-shirt, picking at a loose string. Somehow, he always smelled of cinnamon, for as long as you could remember he smelled of just that. It was delightfully sweet and so incredibly Ron, and you couldn’t help but feel comforted.

“Have you finished your book?” He asks softly, the fatigue that still remained heavy having him merely hum his words.

“No,” you mumble, “too distracted.”

His chuckle shook you softly, the feeling bringing a smile to your face as you looked up at him. “What?

You narrow your eyes in a playful glare as you look at him, lifting your head from his shoulder. His smile widened at that, a soft gust of wind blowing his hair in his eyes but he hadn’t bothered to move it. “I’ve heard you reread the same line four times in a row.”

His laughter was immediate to trail after his words, more so when you swatted his chest. He tipped his head back, the action ruffling his hair entirely as he found your expression humorous. It was rather hard to stay mad at him, however, not with the way he looked at you so fondly and not that you were even mad to begin with. You exhale a sigh, finding yourself looking at him the same despite your reddened cheeks upon mention of your blunder. It must have occurred when he’d held your hand.

You drop your head to his shoulder once more, unable to fight your smile. “Not my fault.”

His response is another bout of soft laughter, and no doubt the most beaming of smiles. “Whatever you say, love.”

The same fatigue you had teased him for just moments prior had held its grip on you, your laughter dwindling as your eyelids grow heavy. You hum in a late acknowledgement to what he’d said, “exactly that.”

You splay your hand across his chest, interlocking your pinky with his. His smile went unseen by you, one of awe and knowing all the same. He knew what that meant. It was a promise as most would think of it as, a silent ‘I love you’ as the two of you know it to be. He knew exactly the day it first happened. At the Burrow under the light of the stars, he’d told you he loved you for the very first time. It was that night that you wrapped your pinky around his, joined hands settled in the grass between you. With it accompanied the very three words that made his heart race and his cheeks flush. It was then, that very first time that night, that it became an unspoken action worth a thousand words.

So he smiles, he curls his pinky around yours and he smiles. Your own grin is just as unseen as his, but you didn’t need to see each other to know of it.

“I love you,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your forehead, to your nose when you look at him.

“I love you,” you whisper, kissing the corner of his mouth in a tired attempt of a kiss. His smile was soft, and he still felt the tingle of your kiss as if it was the first time. He’s quite sure it’ll always feel that way. He knows it.

It was then that you tuck yourself against him, in the crook of his neck as the tattered flannel blanket settles warmly over top you both, the spring breeze brushing over your cheeks. You lay cradled within the canvas hammock that enveloped the both of you nearly in a cocoon. Your drowsiness was too hard to ignore by then, your eyes fluttering closed as his cheek pressed to the top of your head.

You were perfectly content to sleep there forever in the very arms, the very place you felt safest in. It was beautiful with the setting sun and the chirping of the birds. With petals falling in your hair and pinkies interlocked in a promise.

—

Tags: @vogueweasley @amourtentiaa @hahee154hq @anchoeritic @ch0colatefr0gs @harrysweasleys @snitches-at-dawn @awritingtree @writeroutoftime

[iliveiloveiwrite]

Soon // S.B.

Request: Ahhhh!!!!! Congratulations on such an AMAZING milestone🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉!!!!!! You deserve all this and sososo much more girly. I’m glad ur being recognized for ur amazing talents 😩💓 Now for the celebration. Could I suggest: Sirius, Hogwarts, Soulmate au, fluff #13, and Misc #5 - @leahstypewriter

Fluff 13: “Compared to you: stars pale, and the moon dulls.”

Misc 5: “Are you quoting a film at me?”

A/N: Thank you so much, lovely! Here’s your request! I hope you like! I love writing soulmate AUs and I had to go searching for one that I hadn’t done before so here we are! As always, I hope you like!

Pairing: Sirius Black x Fem!Reader

Warnings: I continue to wax lyrical about the history of soulmates, hopeless romantic (reader and writer lol).

Word count: 2.3k

The magic of soulmates was first discovered centuries ago; too long ago for the story to be remembered correctly, but through the years, the general gist remains the same amongst families of witches and wizards.

From birth, a witch and wizard are paired with another witch or wizard. It would take time to find their match; it would take patience of the strongest sort, but they will meet their soulmate should good fortune befall them.

How do they know they have a soulmate?

Anything written on skin; be it a word, a quote, a doodle – it all appears on their soulmates skin. Anything other than their name. Centuries of debate and arguments over the exact reason for this decree fell over the world. In the end, the ministries and the scholars across the world threw their hands up in exasperation, declaring that the decree relating to the naming of soulmates would have to stay and the reasoning being that those making the decree were too awkward and stubborn to think of making life easier for an entire society that had to go into hiding.

For years, witches and wizards, once old enough, are able to communicate with their destined other half. The itch of a sentence being written becomes familiar; almost tolerable. Over time, they get to know their penmanship and their inner most secrets only dared scrawled onto their skin that could be hurriedly washed away if needed.

By the time the young witches and wizards in the United Kingdom have reached the age to start Hogwarts, their soulmate is already a part of them.

Now it was just trying to whittle down the student population of the school to discover who exactly was your appointed other half from birth.

---------

Most soulmate matches at Hogwarts are made in the months April to July – it’s when the weather starts to warm up; becoming bearable enough for the short sleeved blouses and shirts to be dug out from the very bottom of trunks.

Arms are on display for most of the day. It means that matches are made in the corridor, in the classrooms, in the Great Hall. Everywhere across the castle matches are made.

It’s wonderful, it is. But it also makes you more impatient.

You’re in the library when another match is made. Madame Pince tries her hardest to hush the new match into some level of quiet, but it does no good and thankfully, she evicts them from the library and the hush soon falls back over the great room with the same sense of a comforting blanket.

Rolling the sleeve of your cardigan up, you delicately write, “I’ve just seen the third match made of the day and it’s not even noon.”

It doesn’t take long for your soulmate to reply, “I’ve seen two so far. Where was your third?”

“The library.”

“I bet Pince was thrilled.”

You snort at their reply; amused at how well they know the school’s librarian.

“When is it going to be our turn?” You ask somewhat hesitantly.

The reply takes a few minutes, but it comes all the same in the elegant script you’ve come to know, “Soon.”

You rag your sleeve back down in frustration, repressing the building groan. You didn’t know your soulmate’s name, but you had given him the nickname of ‘aloof’. He had gone to great personal care to not reveal too much about himself other than the fact that he was male, he went to Hogwarts and he was your age.

That was something at least, but your countless attempts to find out more had been rebuffed. When you asked why, he simply answered that he wanted to leave as much as he could a surprise. You understood that, but the curiosity got to you.

You sigh heavily returning to the homework laid in front of you, but your mind continues to play the realisation that had happened only moments ago. The happiness on their faces; their utter elation tied in with the adoration they already felt for the other.

It was hard, you realise, to be in love with someone you’ve only spoken to through words and doodles on your arm.

-----

The week doesn’t get any easier; the weather only turns warmer, so the outer robes are ditched completely. You leave the Great Hall the morning Lily Evans realised she had been talking to James Potter since she was a child. You couldn’t watch it and still feel the same empty feeling that had settled within you so long ago.

Your friend June and her boyfriend follow you from the Great Hall. They find you facing one of the many tapestries that depict the meeting of soulmates; they’re found all over the castle and each one feels like a dagger to the stomach.

“It’ll happen soon,” June comforts, placing a soft hand on your shoulder.

“Soon! Soon! That’s all he says,” You explode. Then you repeat in a quieter voice, “That’s all he says. He’s here and he’s close and all he says is soon. What if he doesn’t want to meet me, June?”

June tuts, “Then he’s a damn fool. However, he does want to meet you. He replies doesn’t he?”

You nod your head, but her words do nothing to comfort the growing sense of dread within you.

It was rare, but the soulmate bond could be rejected. There were those in the wizarding world who were born without a soulmate, but there were also those who simply didn’t want one, so they never replied to their partner’s pleading. Instead, they chose to ignore every word, every plea, every beg. For the bond to be accepted, the first reply is important. If words are never painted on your skin, the bond is rejected.

For not the first time that day, you sigh, “I know we have forever to know each other, but is it so wrong of me to want that to start now?”

June squeezes your shoulder, “It’s not wrong at all.”

You continue to stare at the tapestry a little while longer after June and her boyfriend depart; the depiction of soulmates shown in the quill being held by both parties.

Running a hand through your hair, you turn your back on the portrayal of true love, your mind focused on how long it would be until you experience something of the same magnitude.

-----

The day after James and Lily have their realisations, you find Sirius Black’s eyes on you at breakfast. When you meet eyes, he smiles at you, raising his hand in wave. You smile back politely, waving back awkwardly before shaking your head and returning to your breakfast and the latest letter from your brother and his new wife.

They had settled well into their new house; they loved their wedding present, thank you; and yes, you were to have a niece or nephew by the end of the year.

Wonderful.

Shoving the letter from your brother into your bag with more force than what is needed, you feel someone standing next to you. Looking up you meet the grey eyes of Sirius Black; he smiles down at you, “Are you okay?”

You fix him with a puzzled look, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

He shrugs, “You were frowning so big I noticed it from down the table. I thought I would come see if you’re okay.”

“Well, I’m fine. Thanks for checking on me though.”

He nods, shoving his hands into his trouser pockets. He doesn’t say anything else and you don’t offer to fill the void, so the silence sits between you as heavy as a rock.

You stand from the bench; throwing your bag onto your shoulder, “Thanks again, Sirius. I’ll see you later.”

Sirius shifts out of your way, clearing the path for you, “My pleasure. I’ll see you later.”

You shake your head as you walk away; the encounter being an odd one given that your social circle didn’t tend to include any of the Marauders. But there was something about his final words; something about the way he uttered them that made them sound as if they were a promise to you.

You rush the thought from your mind; refusing to let yourself being occupied by someone who wasn’t your soulmate.

---

Sirius begins to take more notice in you; he starts to strike up small conversations whenever he can as well as numerous attempts to catch your eye at any meal time.

He starts to take up a lot of your time; sitting with you in the library on the rare occasion, but also joining you in class when the other Marauders are occupied with other pursuits.

It’s odd.

Muggle Studies remains one of the few lessons that hasn’t been interrupted with the growing number of soulmate matches in your year. Arguably, this school year could be the one with the most matches – the final year of Hogwarts; that final rush to find the love of your life before being sent out into the whole wizarding world without that safety net of the school to fall back onto.

The longer the professor drones on, the harder you find it to focus your concentration. The professor paces the front of the classroom, explaining their brief overview of what they hope the next few lessons will shape up to be like, but your attention is shot. It flickers between the marauder who has, for some reason, taken an interest in you and your soulmate, who still won’t reveal any more information about themselves or when you’ll be meeting.

A headache is close to blooming behind your eyes at the stress of it all.

Shrugging off your cardigan, you dip your quill into the pot of black ink sat in its holder. With the practiced precision of someone used to drawing on themselves, you begin to doodle.

Stars, planets, and moons appear on your left arm – decorating the inner forearm with an entire galaxy. They’re pretty rudimentary drawings, but it’s enough to keep you occupied from the droll being spewed by the professor who definitely hasn’t noticed they’ve lost the attention of most of the class.

The bell rings; finally signally the start of your only free period of the day. With a grateful sigh, you drop your books into your bag and make your way to the library.

You never make it to the library. On your way there, a hand grabs the back of your robes, pulling you into an empty corridor. With an angry shout, you face your kidnapper, “Sirius!”

He lets out an amused laugh at your affronted expression, “I’m sorry, I just needed to talk to you in private.”

You exhale, adjusting the heavy bag on your shoulder, “Sirius, I have to know. Why are you paying me so much attention? Surely you have a soulmate to think of.”

“That’s what I wanted to talk about.”

“Really?”

Sirius nods. He takes a deep breath before saying, “Compared to you: stars pale, and the moon dulls.”

“Are you quoting a film at me?” You ask; an eyebrow raised.

Sirius shakes his head, repressing a laugh. He rolls up the sleeve of his jumper, revealing his left arm to you where decorating his inner forearm are the very same stars, planets and moons that you had doodled instead of focusing on the classwork.

Instead of saying anything, you roll your own sleeve up, lining your arm up beside Sirius’ where the patterns match perfectly.

It seemed that his attempts at conversation and his watching you from a distance was for a purpose.

Sirius Black is your soulmate.

“Oh…” You whisper.

“I told you we would meet soon,” Sirius whispers; a sight teasing lilt to his voice.

You shake your head, “I kept thinking you didn’t want to meet me; that you didn’t want a soulmate.”

Sirius grips both of your hands, “The complete opposite. I just needed to work up the nerve to find you.”

“When did you know?”

“Not that long ago. When James and Lily got together.”

You nod your head; remembering the day well.

“I overheard you talking to your friend when I was on my way to a lesson and you kept talking about how your soulmate kept promising you soon. And I realised that that was all I was saying to mine. Soon.”

You look down at your joined hands, “I never even had an inkling it was you.”

Sirius chuckles, “I suppose that should be flattering. I must be that good at concealing information, I should be a spy.”

You roll your eyes, “It almost drove me mad is what you mean.”

“Well we have a long time to get to know each other now,” He murmurs; voice soft and filled with promise for the future.

You smile shyly at the long-haired teenager, “We do?”

He nods, “Yeah, we do.”

Tentatively, you take a step closer to the long-haired Marauder. A small smile graces Sirius’ face as he takes in your movement. With a tug of his hands, you fall into him – an arm clasping itself around your waist, pressing you to him.

Sirius’ hand caresses your cheek; you lean into the touch, wondering if this is how every match felt when they found their soulmate or whether this was entirely Sirius’ effect on you. Either way, it was addicting… and he hadn’t even kissed you yet.

Finally though, after what feels like a lifetime of staring into each other’s eyes, Sirius dips his head to kiss you. You meet him halfway; the desire you feel for him controlling your every move. His grip on your waist tightens and your arms wind their way around his neck, holding him to you. This kiss is what breaks the dam; from the lightest pressure of his lips, long buried emotions bubble up to the surface and it’s all you can do to keep yourself in control.

Sirius breaks the kiss, but he doesn’t retreat far. He beams down at you; eyes bright with elation. It’s a smile that you return and more; happy to have found your soulmate, happy to know who he is and that he loves you just as much as you love him.

Happy to know that soon is now.

*******

General (HP) taglist: @chaotic-fae-queen @obsessedwithrandomthings @harrypotter289 @dreamer821 @kalimagik @heloisedaphnebrightmore @nebulablakemurphy @the-hufflefluffwriter @figlia--della--luna @bforbroadway @idont-knowrn @summer-writes @big-galaxy-chaos @black-lake-confessions @annasofiaearlobe @imboredandneedalife @levylovegood @mytreec @haphazardhufflepuff @teheharrypotter @chaoticgirl04 @accio-rogers @msmimimerton @izzytheninja @slytherinprincess03 @nerdyatheletic

Sirius Black taglist: @approved-by-dentists @fific7 @susceptible-but-siriusexual​

[pillage-and-lute]

Thicker Than Water (Part 3)

Part 1 Part 2 (here) Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8

Ao3 link HERE

Finally here, now that I’m feeling a little better.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Traveling with Geralt, Ciri, and Yennefer was hard. They went slow for Yennefer’s sake, and for that Jaskier was thankful, but his entire body ached.

He’d woken up cold and damp, body sore from lying on the ground in his cheap bedroll, but he didn’t complain. He drank heavily from his water skin to keep his stomach from growling, unwilling to use up precious food for himself. He was being brought along on this journey against Geralt’s -and his own- wishes, but he would not be a burden.

He forged ahead, even, at one point, taking a bag from Yennefer. She didn’t have much to carry but he recognized the full body exhaustion on her face. She didn’t smile at him or thank him, but she nodded gratefully.

Jaskier reflected on that. He had wanted to hate the witch, especially back then, after the djinn, when he’d seen her and Geralt...playing hide the sausage. He found that he couldn’t. He was an artist, he appreciated beauty and pain and the use of words and an excellent storyline. Yennefer checked those boxes. Jaskier felt ashamed to want to dislike her. She’d held back forces at Sodden, she was strong and good with Ciri and cared for Geralt. He appreciated all these things.

It was just...she and Geralt and Ciri were all together. A powerful sorceress, a twice-made Witcher, a hero, and their adopted child with untold power and a regal birthright. It made a family. And just like with his own family, there was no place for Jaskier.

It hurt.

But he wasn’t supposed to be part of the family. He wasn’t there to share in the chatter Ciri directed at Yennefer and Geralt. Geralt even talked back a little, answering in one or two words the stream of questions. He answered them though. Jaskier wished he’d ever answered him.

Then he felt silly. He was jealous of Ciri, who was a child. A brave child, but a child nonetheless, who’d lost her home and her family and everyone she knew in a very short time. Of course Geralt would answer her questions, he was a good man.

He also liked children, Jaskier knew. He let his memory drift to a happier time. 

It had been a summer fair in a tiny, agricultural village, tucked among wheat fields like a lost button beneath a patchwork quilt. The sun had been warm and the whole world was amber. Jaskier was playing music with a scratch band of anyone who wanted to join. Lighthearted jigs and reels had unfurled beneath his hands. He played The Willow Wedding and The Flowers of Fairside and other simple country songs that his fellow musicians might know. All around them people were dancing and laughing. Flower crowns were made. Young women shyly offered them and young men shyly took them to indicate blooming romance, but almost everyone in attendance had one, old and young.

Geralt had been standing, looming without intention, at the edge of the crowd, near Jaskier. In the shadows, in his black outfit (Jaskier had insisted he leave the armor back at the in) he looked out of place, like a thistle in a bouquet.

Then a little girl in a neat yellow pinafore, dyed with weld, probably, and carefully embroidered with little yellow roses at the collar stopped by the musician. She was perhaps four years old, and she looked at the dancers and then just sat down and began to cry.. It had been a sight to bend even the hardest heart and Jaskier had been just about to stop playing when Geralt crouched in front of her.

“What ever is the matter?” Jaskier had heard him say, softly.

“Everybody’s dancin,” sniffled the little girl. “An nobody wants to dance wif me.” She reached up and took the dandelion and daisy flower crown from her dark, bushy hair.

Jaskier’s heart just melted and he wanted to cry in sympathy as one big, blobby tear rolled down a round cheek. She scrubbed it away hastily but more were hanging on lashes all around her big, brown eyes.

“Nobody wants to dance with you?” Geralt said, affecting a wide eyed look of surprise. The girl sniffled again and pointed to the edge of the dancing, where a group of kids, a little older than her, where all wheeling about together.

“Not nobody,” Geralt said, gently putting her flower crown back on her head. “You haven’t asked me if I want to dance, have you?”

She sniffed the last of her sniffles and looked up, a slow smile starting. “Do ya wanna dance wif me?”

“Of course,” Geralt had said, then he’d very carefully lifted her so her tiny feet were safely away from trodding, and he’d set her feet on the tops of his big, black boots. Then Geralt had danced, a little awkwardly, but holding her little hands in his large ones and taking big steps so she bounced on his boots, which resulted in her shrieking with delight. 

Eventually an older girl had pulled her away to go spin about with the others, but the memory lived in a quiet, warm place in Jaskier’s chest. He thought of it often, and the way the little girl had offered a tiny daisy from her flower crown. It had remained in Geralt’s fingers as he returned to his place, brooding in the shadows, spinning it between thumb and forefinger occasionally.

“Dandelion,” Ciri said, pulling him from his reverie. “Jaskier, can you tell me a story?”

Jaskier glanced back to see the look on Geralt’s face, but then wasn’t sure why he had, the witcher’s expression held no answers, it never did. The story that leapt to mind was, of course, Geralt dancing with that child in the sunshine, but he didn’t tell it. Instead he leapt into a tale, a long one, of the son of a king who wanted to marry the lovely daughter of an evil enchanter.

It was a good story, very long with lot’s of parts, so Ciri could ask for more again and again, and there were amazing characters with strange tales and true love and magic and wishes. Everything a good story needed. Jaskier prided himself on doing the voices for each new character.

Ciri traipsed along beside him, hanging on his every word. She was a good audience, making surprised noises or saying ‘oh no!’ at just the right points. Jaskier even noticed Yennefer listening, occasionally smiling to herself at a joke or a good part of the story. 

Geralt walked on ahead. Jaskier had no way of telling if he was listening, but he probably wasn’t. The story was fantastical to the extreme and if Geralt were listening he would probably be scoffing and complaining about how that ‘can’t be done with magic’ and ‘there aren’t river dragons, there’s only water serpents, they’re different species entirely’. 

It was funny, though, when they stopped for dinner-Jaskier picking at the rations offered, reluctant to use up supplies but unwilling to worry Ciri- he continued the story, and Geralt, who had been sharpening his sword, stopped.

Of course, it was probably simply that the blade didn’t need much sharpening, or that Geralt wanted to allow Ciri to listen. Still, Jaskier felt good. He hadn’t complained, he wasn’t eating too much food, and he wasn’t much of a burden.

And Ciri liked the story.

They kept walking after dinner, so long as they still had light, relying on Geralt in the dim twilight to find a spot to camp. Jaskier told more of the story, not even a third of the way through, and occasionally Ciri asked questions.

“Why did the king’s son not want to marry the oldest sister?”

“Because she was too cold,” Jaskier said, inventing, because the story didn’t say. “She was beautiful, but she could not love, so her heart turned to ice and everything she touched froze.”

“And the middle sister?” Ciri asked, wide eyed.

“She was too warm, she was angry, all the time, and so her heart turned to fire and all she touched melted or burned.”

As the story he told progressed, Jaskier used his additions in the story. The king’s son, fleeing with his soon-to-be bride, the youngest sister, had to escape the sorceror’s wrath, but the sisters tried to stop their youngest sister leaving, melting the chains of the drawbridge so that the couple couldn’t escape.

Ciri gasped and wrapped one hand in Jaskier’s traveling cloak, hanging on to him as tightly as she held to his words.

Then the eldest sister in the story sent a blizard after the couple, who had escaped the draw bridge just in time. Yennefer, who looked a little better after their meal and short rest, sent a tiny swirl of snow, a miniature blizzard from her finger, letting it play a moment with Ciri’s hair before dissappearing. 

Ciri laughed with delight and Jaskier sent a smile to Yennefer, who nodded at him surprisingly warmly. A good story made everyone happy, he supposed.

They stopped for the night in another clearing. Ciri begged for more of the story before bed. Geralt sat, setting the fire so it could burn through the night, while Yennefer brushed out Ciri’s hair. It was a perfect, domestic little scene, and Jaskier felt odd, seeing it from the outside, but also in the spotlight of Ciri’s focus. 

He plucked his lute quietly as he told the story. In truth, there were many little poems buried in the tale, and he’d long ago made little tunes for each so that they could be sung. When he came to one, though, he didn’t sing it. He just plucked out the tune as he talked, and when the poem passed he continued through the story, letting his music be the background.

Hopefully it was less annoying that way. 

He wasn’t about to offer this perfect family a fillingless pie.

As he finally lay down to sleep though, he quite felt like a fillingless pie himself. Ciri and Yennefer had once again bedded down in the magic tent and Geralt was rolled up in his bedroll in his tent, across the barely glowing fire. Jaskier lay awake.

His bedroll was thin and his ribs fairly ached with hunger, but Geralt had said they were but a day away from a town. Jaskier could buy supplies there, he still had a little coin, and that way he wouldn’t use up the others’ food.

He could play in the town too, earn more coin. They wouldn’t stay there, he knew, not with half the continent searching for a white haired witcher and his child surprise. But the others needed supplies too, and Yennefer said she had enough magic for a small glamor to hide Geralt and Ciri’s hair and her eyes.

Jaskier settled in for the night. Earning coin made him useful, and therefore not a burden, so he would earn coin.

He made a list in his head of things he should buy to prepare for the trek up to Kaer Morhen. Gloves, his only pair had worn out last year. A thicker cloak, his was practically threadbare. Grapeseed and linseed oil. One for the beard he was growing and the other for his lute. New lute strings.

He rolled over on his bedroll, trying to avoid the root digging into his spine. He’d need to make quite a bit of money. He wasn’t sure he’d be able too. It wasn’t safe to sing about the white wolf, not too much, or someone might recognize him as himself, rather than just some bard singing Jaskier’s songs. 

Country ditties then, but they made less money. It wasn’t just his supplies he needed to buy, either. Jaskier didn’t want to just not be a burden, he wanted to help.

They would all need thicker clothes and lots of food to make it to Kaer Morhen. He wasn’t a good hunter so he could really only help by supplying money to buy what they needed. He had little right now, and he felt shame rise in him. He’d had no way of knowing he’d meet up with Geralt and his child surprise, but if he hadn’t drunk so much of his money than he could be a better help. 

He could sell his lute.

The thought came into his mind like a knife, and it turned his stomache. He could sell his lute, but the beautiful girl was the only physical thing he had to remind him of Geralt. Filavandrel’s lute. It would be worth a fortune, of course. Elven made, everyone knew they made the best instruments.

It was just...he couldn’t bear the thought of letting the lute go. He loved how she played, loved the memories he had. He knew the story behind every shallow scratch and scuff, and who could love her the same? And when the danger was passed and Geralt never had to see him again, what would Jaskier have then? A handful of memories, turned bittersweet, then bitter. Nothing concrete. He’d go back to Oxenfurt, maybe even Lettenhove. And there would be nothing for him to hold to remind him.

He couldn’t sell his lute.

The thought ate at him as he tried to sleep though. He had in his hands the means to help them all so much, and he was too selfish to do so.

Sleep eventually claimed him, and he dreamt of a mountain, wind whipping about his ears and carrying words to him.

Shit shoveler. Burden. If life could give me one blessing...

He awoke sore and badly rested, tears dried on his face.

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@frywen-babbles

[sagemusesoutloud]

Anti-Romantic, Part 4

(credit to the original owner of the image)

Character | Jaehyun x reader

Genre | nonidol!au, Mutual Pining, Slowburn, Fluff, Angst

WordCount | 1.5 k

WARNING | Mentions of verbally abusing relationships! It's brief, but there. If you or anyone is going through something similar, please seek outside help!

Author'sNote | I'm not giving excuses as to why it took so long to update, but I'm trying my hardest to be consistent! Let me know if you like how the story is going so far!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 4.5

Sorry I’m an anti-romantic, I don’t believe in romantic

I am afraid that it will burn my whole heart, It will only leave behind ashes.

When you were younger, your family used to call you ‘spitfire.’ They said you were too fiery, argued too well, and too passionate. They had never meant it as an insult, in a way, it was a form of flattery. You grew up as the only female cousin in your family, but you were always leading your cousins on whatever diabolical plan it was that you had come up with: sneaking off to kitchen in the middle of the night to eat all the pastries meant for the morning after, convincing everyone that leaving your grandma’s territory and into the forest in the middle of the night to see if you can find the fairies, racing along the town’s border to see who was the fastest on their bike, and many other child-like plans. You were tough and you were proud, you never allowed yourself to lose.

Later on in life, that same nickname evolved to a less loving version. As you grew older and started to date, your partners always called you out for having strong opinions and for not bending at their will. They never saw you for what you wanted to be; which was an equal. If they said something against one of your friends, they expected you to throw away the friendship. All because they were the opposite sex and made your partner insecure. How could a girl and boy only be friends? Later on, when rumors would spread about your partner and other girls, they would get exasperated with you. If they’d get caught, they would only blame you for being too stiff.

“Why couldn’t you be more passive? If I want to kiss you, I’ll kiss you. You’re my girlfriend, why the fuck would I need permission? Is that what your ‘guy friends’ do? I bet you’ve let them all have a run at you, huh? Keep acting like a bitch, get treated like a bitch. And you wonder why I cheated? What a joke.”

You had to admit, you didn’t really date the greatest of guys. But you could say that now, because you knew now. Back then, you really thought you deserved those kinds of relationships. Like how they say, you only accept the love you think you deserve. However, in a way, it was why you were the way you were now. You always made it a point to communicate and avoid misunderstandings because you didn’t want your partners to throw your words back at you or your actions. It’s why you treaded carefully and avoided one-night stands. You’d rather get to know a person first and then start dating. It’s the exact reason the date you had with that other barista didn’t go through, majority of the guys you talked to thought you were too much work and therefore, not worth it.

Now that you’re an adult, you’d rather be too much work than let a guy walk all over you. Boundaries were important to you because how else were you supposed to gauge their respect for you? You had a tight grip on your morals and rules.

But damn, you’re only human!

The moment your lips crashed, it’s as if the only thing you could keep in mind was one word.

More.

You needed more of him, needed to breathe the same air as him, needed to feel every ridge of his hard body against your soft one, needed to cling to him as close as possible and for as long as possible.It’s as if his lips were the only reason you needed to dive into whatever this was. You were tired of keeping a strong hold on yourself. All that boiling anger turning into dangerous tension, and the only way to release it was to give into the passion between you two.

You settled your arms around his neck, taking that last step closer into him as he cradled your face and deepened the kiss. His other arm wound tightly around you, hand sliding dangerously close to your ass. You feel a deep groan against your chest, one of your hands wandering down his torso, enjoying the shiver you feel as you move lower. His tongue swipes at your bottom lip, a question, so you reply by opening your mouth, tongues fighting for dominance. For every move you delivered, he retaliates just as ardently. You feel your head grow lightheaded as you bring your hands to hold on to his shirt, anything to stabilize you. His hand finally squeezing your ass, shifting you closer to his hips. Oh, lord.

You let out a moan as he bites your lower lip, his kisses descending as you fight to catch your breath. You involuntary let out a whimper as he finds your pulse point and sucks the skin, soothing it with light kisses. Leaving behind a trail of purple blotches, beautifully contrasted against your skin. You’d never been into marking, had it always felt this good?

“Jae…” you can’t think, you can’t even stand properly as he pushes you with his hips against the counter for support. You don’t even know what you wanted to say, do you want to ask for more? What do you want?

“God, I’ve wanted to do this for years.” You pause at that, your hands freezing on their tight grip on his shirt. You feel as if someone had just dumped a bucket of ice water at you, your rationality finally catching up with you.

He leans back to look at you, “if you’re going to stop me, do it now because if you don’t say anything I’ll keep going. And I don’t think I can stop on my own.” His hands drawing gentle, tantalizing circles along your hips where your shirt had ridden up.

You gasp at that; finally bring your eyes to his. He looked exactly how you felt, desperate. His lips were red and puffy from your kisses, his hair messy after running your hands through it. In the light of the kitchen, you could still see how his pupils were blown wide. You’re pretty sure you’re not in any better condition.

“Jae,” you whisper, brining your hands to his shoulders, either to support yourself or to brace yourself for what you were about to say, “if we do this, there’s no going back.”

He lets out a deep breath, “I know, and I’m ok with that.” He offers a gentle smile, “I want that.” His heart drops as he notices how you drop your gaze and bite your lips.

“if we do this, can you guarantee that it won’t ruin our friendship?” for some reason, you can’t bring yourself to speak higher than a whisper or to look at him. “can you promise that you won’t run away again?”

You wait for his response. When it doesn’t come you finally look up, only to find a frown forming on his brow. You don’t expect when he takes a step back, “is that all I am to you? All this is? Just a risk you’re not willing to take just because you don’t want to ruin the ‘friendship’?”

“I don’t know…Am I supposed to forget what you just said a few minutes ago?” He gives a humorless laugh as he paces around the small kitchen.

You’re frozen in place, spaced out at his words. It’s like as if you’re watching yourself from somewhere else. But you think about it, is that what it is?

Before you can respond or come to a conclusion, he stops at the entrance to the kitchen, back towards you. “Are you really not understanding what I’m saying or are you avoiding it?” his shoulders sag but he keeps going, “If loosing me is what you’re so worried about, then let me make it simple for you.”

Your body grows number by the second, what’s wrong with you? You’ve finally done it, burned away the last semblance of security and friendship. Just like a thoughtless spitfire.

“I can’t go back to this back and forth bullshit. I’m tired. I don’t think you even know what you want, so until you do, I think I need my space.”

He motions towards his front door, “I’m gonna go, if you’re still here by the time I come back, I’ll take it as a sign that you do want us…to happen. If you leave, I’ll pretend the last two days didn’t happen and we can go back to how we used to be. I’ll never cross the line again, and I’ll do everything to move on.”

You only notice you’re sobbing when you tears blur your vision. What have you done?

You don’t even hear him leave, only when the door slams after him.

I can clearly see the end, Worse than a hangover

It will be hard, Now, Just end it somewhere here

EndNote | Damn, I've never written a kiss scene before. Hopefully it wasn't too awkward. This is a lot of angst too, which I'm not a big fan of reading, but wow... who hurt me lmao. Promise the next chapter won't be as bad, or will it?

Previous: Part 3 | Next: Part 4.5

[nyerus]

Hi, nyerus.....If you don't mind me asking, who are your favorite MXTX characters (top 5 from each novel)? And why? I'm sorry if you've answered this question before.

Thank you so much for asking! I would love to! (Apologies for the delay, and also for how long this is lol....)

TGCF

1.) Xie Lian: I could write forever about why I love him, but XL is just a really great character who subverted my expectations. He's gentle and compassionate, but also funny and snarky on the inside. His character arc is the classic hero's journey but told out of order. So we meet him when he's already wise and world-weary, then get to see what he was like before, and how he finishes his journey later on. He's extremely inspiring, to show that our choices and our actions are what make us, and ultimately no one can take those from us.

2.) Hua Cheng: This is no surprise! I also just adore HC for being a very intense character! He's completely devoted to XL and that zealotry is very unique in a character. He's 100%, not 50, not 75. While he has a lot of relateable aspects, this part of him is utterly fantastical, on the level only myth and fable can achieve--which tracks. After all, he isnt a Ghost King for nothing. In the story, he is the embodiment of the purest devotion, no strings attached.

3.) He Xuan: I actually like him for the same reasons as HC! He too is a walking fable, only instead of devotion, he represents vengence. (They're actually like foils of each other, which is quite neat.) I really adore his arc, and how murky his whole character is. It tells a cautionary tale of how sometimes, our worst enemy--the one who makes us most miserable--is often ourselves. SWD wronged him greviously, but HX's obsession with vengence ultimately prevented him from getting the peace and recompense he wanted in the end. Absolutely stellar storytelling.

4.) Mei Nianqing: While I often question his motives and methods, he is still a really good character. Caught between wanting to be a mentor and protector to XL, but still loving (platonically or romantically, that's up to you) JW. He's the only father figure in XL's life that actually took him seriously, even if he did have to come around to it. But ultimately, he was proud of who XL became even before he ascended. He was just terrified of XL drawing the attention of the one man he shouldn't--and did. However his belief in superstition and fear of Hong Hong-er also makes sense, even if it's sad. MNQ is also just a quirky and fun dude lol.

5.) Mu Qing: I really like how complicated and murky MQ's is in terms of his inner turmoil. I'm somewhat similar to him in the way he thinks, and it's real work not to make things worse for myself by expecting the worse. His background makes him naturally suspicious of... basically everyone, all the time, and it's honestly understandable. Ultimately, he does understand that you can't make assumptions about people's intentions by projecting your own insecurities onto them--which I think is something everyone can relate to. I really like his subtle journey of self-realization and self-forgiveness, and he ends up far better for it.

MDZS

1.) Lan Wangji: I love the fact that LWJ was just so ready to Night Hunt himself to death upon the loss of his beloved. As you can tell, I really like complicated characters who have extreme traits, haha! That being said, I just also really like his stoicism and reliability.

2.) Wei Wuxian: Naturally, it's hard not to love WWX! He decided "yeah maybe the ends do justify the means" and went for it. To us, he is the hero. To the regular people of the world? Whose ancestors were dug up and disturbed to be used by the Yiling Laozu? His blackened reputation is not without cause! (Like... JGY literally has done more positive and helpful things for regular people than Wangxian, but those metas already exist lol.) Once again, his gray morality is what makes him so damn good, and can be debated at length!

3.) Jiang Cheng: JC gets a bad rep, but oh boy he doesn't make things easy for himself at all. However if I was in his position, I probably would be much worse off. He lost EVERYTHING, and still trudged on because there were people who depended on him. His hatred of the Wens also makes sense in the context that... that's often how humans react to and process extreme trauma. We find something to blame and *waves at literally every major conflict since the dawn of time.* (His rumored torture of innocent people due to that is reprehensible, of course, but given that MDZS is a book about how rumors can make or break someone's life... we should take that line with a grain of skepticism, much like all other hearsay.) He's not typically the type of character I like, but I found him really interesting to read.

4.) Jiang Yanli: I really love JYL, who decided to be the emotional backbone of her family from the time she was a child. It was an undue and extremely heavy burden to bear, but she did all of it without complaint. That's strength. I think many elder siblings can relate to her having to step up and be the third parent, when the actual adults fail at it.

5.) Wen Qing: I really like her arc in the novel, where she makes some of the hardest decisions anyone will ever have to make, over and over and over again. I don't typically love very "rough" characters, but she has ever right to be that way (and it makes sense for her character, and isn't just a tacked-on character trait like hair color or eye color in a CC), and honestly I want to marry her very seriously.

SVSSS

1.) Luo Binghe: Probably the most misunderstood main character of all of MXTX's works. LBH is neither truly a crybaby nor is he a ruthless maniac. He's right in the middle, in the valley of misanthropy. And yet, he knows just how to use his charisma to get his way. Cunning and devious, intelligent and ruthless. Meanwhile, he craves love and intimacy--something he could only ever dream of.

2.) Shen Qingqiu (Shen Yuan): Extremely refreshing to see an transmigrator know how to handle transmigration almost flawlessly. (Me reading/watching other works with this trope and wanting to tear my hair out at the protags = me sympathizing on a personal level with SQQ.) This also proves to be SQQ's fatal flaw!! His knowledge of the novel is both a boon and a obstacle to him, and prevents him from understanding the other characters as people until he lets go of his pre-conceived notions. And of course, his snarky as heck inner dialogue is amazing.

3.) Liu Qingge: I don't actually even know why I love LQG as much as I do. He's just neat.

4.) Tianlang-Jun: Honestly same goes for TLJ. He's just great though, and I have a blast reading about him. He wanted to see the good in humanity, and ultimately comes around after writing them off.

5.) Yue Qingyuan: He's a fascinating character. Harmless on the outside, but a quagmire on the inside. His love for Shen Jiu was quite... problematic, in that he saught forgiveness from SJ, without actually ever taking the time to understand him or to make amends. Patronizing and judgemental, yet willing to let SJ get away with literally anything because of his own unresolved turmoil, etc etc. Fascinating.

[lightthewaybackhome]

Sorry this is so long. Probably should have done a 2 parter.

"My darling girl, when are you going to realize that being normal is not necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage!" - Aunt Frances, Practical Magic

 

My whole life, as far back as I can remember, I’ve wanted to be artistic. I’ve wanted to create. I love beauty. I love artistry. I love creation. I love the artsy look: jewelry, tattoos, flowing clothing, and funky hair. It is a personal aesthetic I keep returning to, especially as I get older. As a child, I tried so many different forms of art—painting, photography, drawing— but none of them seemed quite right. None of them got what was in my head out. All of them fell short until I started writing. Writing was a flame, a fire, a drug. Writing allowed me to express what was in my imagination. This is the first thing to understand.

Everyone is artistic and art is everywhere. I’ve believed this as long as I can remember. There are amazing artistic feats in our world: books, movies, video games, paintings, sculptures, and magnificent pieces of music. Yes, art can be very high and very special. But, art can also be found in charcuterie boards, homemade quilts, sourdough bread, cocktails, soup, and all ordinary things if we but look and see. Art can be high magic and art can be ordinary. This is the second thing to understand.

As I’ve embraced being a homemaker, a HearthKeeper, a woman where she’s meant to be, I came across the term domestic artist. As much as I didn’t like the book Eve in Exile by Rebekah Merkle, it gave me this. It gave me the term domestic artist. That stuck with me. It spoke to me because it captured both the first and the second thing. It captured the never-ceasing call to create which haunts me at all times, and it elevated and honored the ordinary in a sprinkling of fairy dust. It said, “Yes, you have to cook today. Three meals plus snacks and drinks. It’s your job, but, but, what if, what if instead of looking at it as some drudgery, some Cinderella enslavement, what if you looked at it as an opportunity to create beauty?”

Not every meal, every outfit, every moment of your day can be a work of art. Some days you just have to do what you have to do. Some days get upended in the opening credits with a broken washer or a sleepless child. Some days plans change. Life changes. One minute life looks like this, and then the next it’s on to something completely different. But, the beauty of being a domestic artist is that you can create art in any of these moments and in any setting. You can find art in any moment and in any setting.

See, the world tells us that homemaking, HearthKeeping, is boring. It tells us it’s pointless. A waste. You could be changing the world. Only dumb useless women keep their homes. And that’s because they’re either tied down by a dictator of a husband or the demands of children or the cultural trappings of their religion. Courage, dear heart. Courage! Homemaking is magic. Homemaking is flexible. Homemaking changes with the seasons and the woman. I, I am a bit bohemian, a bit rustic, a mixture of rugged and romantic. I grew up a tomboy, but have embraced being a woman in her home since I was a child. I love leather and lace. I love cottage-witch aesthetics. I love boots and long flowing things. I like deer heads, linen, skulls, and ruffles. I like feathers and dreamcatchers, but I also love to decorate with open space. I love pies and feeding my husband. But, look at this, one of my best friends is a classic. She loves clean lines, traditional and timeless pieces. She loves modern accents. She loves beachy highlights and hammocks. She’s not into farmhouse, rustic modern, or raw-edged wood. On any given Sunday, she’s in a pencil skirt, simple top, simple heels with her three daughters in matching dresses while I’m in distressed boyfriend jeans, a mullet-tucked top, and wearing my crow skull. We’re very different, but we’re both homemakers who love making our homes.

I have a woman in my life who quilts and that flows out into their decorating. So many of her things are beautifully hand sewn. If she wants it, she makes it. Another friend grew up in Africa and her home is filled with her love of that culture. One dear friend loves plants and grows amazing flowers that she uses to create Instagram-worth bouquets. Another woman isn’t super fluffy-feminine but she has an eye for remodeling and so is constantly making improvements on her home: flooring, painting, and more. My sisters, like me, both enjoy a minimalist approach to decorating and all three of us have a special place for coffee. Both my sisters’ homes are welcoming and peaceful even with kids running around like crazy.

That’s the point, the world tells women to band together, that we’re a sisterhood, that we should go out and change the world, abandoning our homes before we’re relegated to only kitchen and nursery work, but reality tells me that the most amazing women I know are busy in their homes. This is sisterhood. This is where we bloom. It is here that we have flexibility. For over five years, I’ve struggled with chronic health issues. Homemaking lets me decide each day what I can do and how I’m going to do it. Homemaking lets you change what you do for each season of life. Lots of littles? Keep it simple. Empty nest? Explore. Somewhere in between? Keep growing. Lots of energy? So many things you can expand into if you just refuse to believe the lie that homemaking is beneath you. Don’t be normal. Don’t believe that homemaking is a waste of time. Don’t buy into the lie that you are somehow being less than everyone else when you raise your children, love your husband, and create beauty. Have the courage to be strange. We were made for this! It suits us. This is an environment women thrive in.

When I got over my grammar inhibitions and started writing, I felt like my soul came alive. I felt like I’d finally found what I’d been searching for since I came into this world. It doesn’t matter whether I’m writing an epic story or writing about HearthKeeping or just word doodling, writing, words, stories just flow from me. Wonderfully, homemaking is like that for me, too. I want to read books, I want to learn, I want to talk about it, I want to do it. It’s not perfect. I don’t always feel glorious, but I do feel ‘right’ when I’m doing this. I feel like I’m where I belong. I feel like this is a place I can both rest in and grow in. I feel safe when I’m having a fatigue flare up and I feel excited when I think about all that I can do.

A real-life example: Sundays are long hard days. They’re days that generally spike my fatigue and my husband is worn out. They’re both the best and hardest day of the week. When we get home I make a cocktail and we crash. Inevitably, the minute I sit down my man asks for a snack and what we’re having for dinner. For several years, this drove me up a wall. It is Sunday. The day of REST, why is it my responsibility to always make food? Epic sigh. Epic whiny sigh. I would meal plan for the whole week and then wing it on Sunday and Monday, always with poor results and grumpiness on my part. Then, one week as I meal-planned, I realized that I could also prepare for the weekend. Lightbulb. Facepalm. Really? Why had it taken me into my 40th year of life to realize that if I want a quiet, restful, happy weekend, I should just plan snacks, drinks, and meals ahead of time? I’m going to blame it on my chronic health, brain fog addled mind. I’m going to blame it on laziness. I’m going to blame it on being a young homemaker. Some are understandable, some are inexcusable.

Sundays now involve way less stress because I can immediately prepare snacks and know what we’re eating the minute we get home. No more attitude issue. No more stress. Easy and nice.

Did this change the world? Does this matter to anyone but myself? Did my husband even notice? Maybe not, but this is homemaking. This is HearthKeeping. It is my job and my calling. Even without notice or world-shattering consequences, I’m pleased with the outcome. More than pleased, I’m really happy about it. It brings me joy and delight to find a better way to take care of my family. It allows me to sprinkle my Sunday afternoon with just a little bit of artistry. I make drinks, snacks, dinner. I feed my family.

See, one of the lies that the feminists preach is that we’re wasted in our homes. And yet, the majority of the women I know who work outside the home aren’t doing glamorous jobs. They’re not travel bloggers or world-renowned chiefs or CEOs. They’re cosmetologists, retail workers, bank tellers, nurses, teachers, and such. Now, none of those are bad. Working outside the home isn’t bad. (I think each family has to decide what family looks like to them.) Please, please, don’t read that as degrading. I worked retail and I think retail is important. These are all God-honoring employment in which you can strive and serve. I’m not bashing any of those jobs. I have many many dear friends who work outside the home. What I am saying is that I think we as women need to ask ourselves if leaving our homes en masse was worth it. Has it given us all the joy, delight, and fulfillment the feminists promised us?

I’ve done both. I’ve been a co-owner of a business that I helped grow from nothing to something amazing. I’ve worked as an everyday retail worker. I write and am the main editor for a small neighborhood magazine. And I’m a HearthKeeper. I will tell you right now, no qualifications, that HearthKeeping is the most satisfying job I’ve ever had. It not only challenges me every day but it also works with me. The boundaries are what I set in place and so I grow as I can. The work never ends, yes, but it also never ends. There is always something else to explore.

I think being a homemaker is largely attitude. You can buck against what you do, and most women do. Just spend two minutes on Pinterest looking at doing laundry or dishes and the bitter hatred comes pouring out. Look at the complaints women make against their churches: we’re relegated to doing nursery work and kitchen duty. What if, just for a moment, we decided to be Domestic Artists? What if, for just a moment, we tried loving our jobs instead of complaining? What if we thought that dishes meant food and good times and healing of the souls around us? What if we saw laundry as a way to keep beauty and cleanliness around us? What if we saw it as our privilege and delight to take care of the food, children, clothing, cleaning, cooking, gardening, growing of the next generation, and the men of the world? What if we embraced the domestic arts and saw them as truly magnificent, glorious, unique arts? How many of us would be able to say with a straight face that working retail is more fulfilling than managing a small world? Is it more fulfilling to go work in an office than it is to orchestrate a place of welcome, rest, and renewal for your husband and yourself? It might be more visible, but is it truly more long-lasting?

I can say that it isn’t. I can say that I think being a homemaker is uniquely suited for women and that we should have the courage to go against the grain of our world and say no. No, I’m not going to give all of myself to work outside the home when the home is far more challenging and interesting. No, I’m not going to believe the lie that homemaking is oppression and boredom. I will find beauty in the ordinary and I will embrace art in the everyday. This is one of those amazing jobs where it is what you make it. It is what you pour into it. If you think it’s boring or demeaning you won’t get anything out of it. If you think it is challenging and rewarding, you will get the world out of it. You will grow yourself and those around you. Think about what a wonderful thing it would be if we made our homes our careers! If we women really took on the label Domestic Artist in our own individual ways.