#even when first reading without the big reveal i was like 'okay they're really close as siblings the cuddling may be a bit odd but hey'

[deiim]

yeah no whAT THE FUCK

[a-zalea-garden]

How do you feel about the pride comic so far? :D

I actually hadn't sat down to read it until I got this ask, but the snippets I'd seen were ADORABLE. I'm writing this as I read it for the first time:

pg. 1: "Hypnosis was so much easier" HE WOULD! And him rehearsing with Whisp is so sweet. I love that they tied her and their friendship into the story more; I kind of thought she was done for good. Valentine hitting his face on the locker is SUCH a diary thing, too. I don't know if it was meant to be a callback or anything, but that's what it reminded me of. And Whisp saying "good luck!" while Kier is half-dead on the floor is PRICELESS. I love that he's still trying to make amends with Drac though.

pg. 2: Him blurting everything at once and then stopping to be all ✨composed✨ is perfect. UGH but the accent. Kieran, dear, she knows you're Romanian. I like the call back, though, and if you really look into it, it's a reflex because he's embarrassed and panicked. I LOVE the cut between him saying "it's fine" and him absolutely panicking, all zoned-out. It's such a simple thing that's meant to be comedic but it really shows us how he thinks and how vulnerable he is in a world without his prestige.

pg. 3 BIG SPELLDON REVEAL DUN DUN DUUUUUN!!! I love the small details of his character design that bring him to life, like the rings on his fingers and the mole on his lip. and the necklaces <3. Valentine IMMEDIATELY crumpling the paper in his big dramatic moment is so silly. And spelldon ignoring it and just taking a rose. It's such an easy, domestic kind of moment. And they're both so pretty ugh the close ups. "Like my soul" ok princess val 🙄 and spelldon worried, "You still love draculaura?" I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SPELLDON CAULDRONELLO

pg. 4: the moment of realization is priceless. Kieran is just in awe of this man. and Spelldon is just so enthusiastic about it (I love how he's just like 'this is dumb' but goes along with it anyway. Okay mr. malicious compliance). The height difference is also perfect to me. It makes sense that Spelldon is way taller because he's part (like 70% ish if I remember right from that time I did a pedigree) god. Casta's tall too isn't she? Valentine lost in his own little world ❤️ my little yapper.

pg. 5: Valentine trying to be over prepared, he's so me. And it's a nice (probably unintentional) callback to his diary where he says "better have it and not need it than need it and not have it." Spelldon's blunt humor is one of my favorite things ever. And him flattering Kieran about biteology >>> ugh they're so sweet. Val's facial expressions are so funny too he's so dramatic. Him trying to be humble and change the subject when Spelldon compliments him is so cute. AAAA they're so sweet.

pg. 6: Spelldon being all nonchalant while Val is literally falling over is so them. That is such a fun dynamic for them to have and I love it so much. I don't even know how to describe or "analyze" it because it just feels so naturally them that there's nothing to point out as "unusual." AAA Spelldon catching Val is such a sweet moment in the comic. Poor Val has his eyes closed, he can't even see Spell's face when it happens. And his hand is HOVERING over Val's back; he's not even touching him and he's blushing like that. I don't even think I need to mention the smirks (they're so precious)(Spells had an eyebrow slit this whole time and I just didn't see it??😭)

pg. 7: EEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAA Val you're going to give poor Spelldon a heart attack leave him alone. He's so dramatic clasping his hands like that. The mausoleum is really cute though, I approve. If I were a vengeful ghost, this would be my haunt (get it?). Spelldon having this whole plan thought out to get the ingredients when he's the one who thought it was a useless plan to start with 🤨 okay Spelldon we all see what you're doing. Especially since the whole plan is to get Val clinging to him. Scarah to the rescue!!! Not the return of the accent val STOP PLEASE. I'm glad they're talking about it, though. And he doesn't do it to spelldon 👀 because he's being himself with spelldon and doesn't feel the outside pressures to be someone else. He subconsciously knows that spelldon will accept who he is. Spelldon's face when Val admits that is priceless. BUT SPELLDON NOOOOOO WATCH OUT!

pg. 8: Val regretting the potion because he's in loooooove is so cute to see. "A couple thousand years" you want to spend a couple thousand years with your feelings for Spelldon awww. And he doesn't even act like he needs them to be reciprocated. Like, duh we all know what he's doing, but he never spells (pun unintentional but fully embraced) it out. The bracelet too from the Val's rose is a sweet little detail. Especially since they chose to give us THAT angle for that panel. They wanted us to see that in this moment. Valentine voicing his development is perfect. He really has grown and learned so much. SPELLDON WHAT?????? NOOOOO! and Val immediately regretting this whole thing because oh nooo Spelldon won't love him (🤨)

pg. 9: Okay Spelldon you trickster. "You really think i'd let you excise your emotions like that" (okay mom) "Yes? I asked you to!" Bro. That's super sweet though, he's been looking out for him this whole time, but couldn't just tell him no. Awww he wanted to spend time with him. AWWW VAL. I'm surprised Val didn't feel the love but maybe i've been reading his powers wrong. And then we have The Moment™ of course. Aww

pg. 10: Aw he and Drac made up. I'm glad they got closure from everything (the Pit Incident... and everything beforehand). WOAH val is so pretty, that turning panel??? Spelldon watching silently from the sidelines all proud. We have to remember that he met Spelldon BEFORE Whisp (and long before the two of them had their makeshift therapy sessions), and the day of the dance (where he failed his attempt to fix everything) from the original comics. He was still a mess then. He has been here since then, and got to see him grow. KIERAN VALENTINE FULL NAME RAHHHH COME OUT YE BLACK AND TANS COME OUT AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN🇮🇪💪i'm glad they're pushing that because so many people think Valentine is his full name, it's actually crazy. Whisp wanting to meet Spelldon 👀 I need to see that now too! And Val ignoring her to hold Spelldon's hands, he's so clingy. I guess he has been this entire time with his yapping. And they walk into the sunset!!!

THE END!!!

I don't know if I wrote WAYYY too much, but I wanted to make sure I gave my full reaction (because lets face it, we've been starved for a while. thats why I got into fanfic like three-ish years ago). The notes got progressively longer as I went 😭

All in all I absolutely adore the comic. It's such a sweet glimpse into Valentine's growth and development, and I'm so glad to finally have a real Spelldon. The entire thing is such a good slice-of-life story that just feels calm and domestic and unforced, like there is no antagonist or unneeded tension to force things along. It's just Spell and Val.

[merakiui]

I'm not sure if you know this but since Riddle's VA is a father of twin girls and is revealed to be a doting parent and he says that he enjoys being with the twins like coordinating their clothes something like tweedle dee and tweedle dum kind of thing, there's even a cute audio of him singing with his daughters too. >w<

How do you think riddle be like as a dad depending as a yandere or not.

Yes!!! I remember reading the announcement when he became a father a few years ago! It's really so sweet!! :D

As for Riddle as a father... He learns that the phrase "you're never ready" holds much truth. Ideally, he could prepare all he wants, read up on every parenting guide there is, scour credible blogs to learn more about mothers who have had children and what to expect when they're finally brought into the world, baby-proof the house so that everything is perfectly safe. He marks your estimated due date on the calendar and it eats away at him like a nervous parasite. He worries because it's in his nature to do so. Because this is the one time memorization or a perfect score won't help.

Of course he's also very excited, but the concerns and anxieties overshadow that. His greatest fear is becoming like his mother. Every time he does something that he thinks is similar to her, he's put in such a sad, miserable mood. That's why he's also so determined to do and be better. His near-constant hovering may seem oppressive, but Riddle just wants to make sure you're okay, that you're happy, that the baby's happy... You often soothe him when he gets like this, assuring him that all is well and that he ought to take a break from fretting over you.

Some days Riddle says he's ready. When friends ask him about you, he's immensely proud to inform them that you're doing very well and that, according to doctors, the baby is growing healthy. He may not seem nervous to acquaintances, but close friends like Trey can pick up on his anxiety right away. Sometimes Trey comes over to help Riddle learn more about cooking (and to brief him on the "coming from a big brother, believe me when I tell you children are noisy" talk). Riddle doesn't want you to overexert or hurt yourself in the kitchen. He knows you're more than capable, but he worries. He's always afraid that someone's going to take all the good things he's achieved in life away from him just because he "couldn't meet his mother's standards." But can anyone truly reach such high expectations?

Riddle knows he's going to worry all the way until the baby's welcomed into the world and even after that. He manages these worries so they won't consume him, and he has you to ground him when he starts to spiral off into what-if tangents. He's been fond of the baby ever since the test came back positive. He has so much love to give. It may be awkward at first because he isn't used to loving and being loved, especially in a healthy relationship and environment, but that is something he's ready for. Without a doubt. If nothing else, he's so very ready to shower the baby in all the love in the world and remind them constantly that he's proud of them and will always treasure them, even when things get difficult.

Riddle is never truly ready, but he looks forward to a bright future full of love and family.

[sweaterkittensahoy]

Prompt: person A frequently touches person B's arm during conversations, leaning in close and laughing at all their jokes. person B, initially thinking person A is just very tactile, begins to notice the lingering touches and wonders if there's more to it.

Pairing: Crubbles

Bubbles is touchy-feely from the moment they meet. Finger to Harry's wrist to ask if he has any gum as they wait to board the train for navigator school. Harry gives him a piece, and Bubbles thanks him.

"I'm Payne, by the way," he says, pointing to his nametag. "Joe or Joey, but everyone calls me Bubbles."

"Why?"

"Took an antacid to try and calm my stomach before I tried out for pilot training. Turns out, you can burp bubbles."

Harry laughs without meaning to. "Oh, I'm sorry," he says. "I didn't--"

"Naw, it's okay," Bubbles says, and he touches Harry's elbow this time. He laughs quietly. "It's pretty funny. They give you a nickname?"

"I'm Crosby. Take a guess."

Bubbles laughs and leans close. "Well, what's your actual name? I could just call you that."

"Harry."

"Nice to meet you, Harry. Thanks for the gum."

*

It's four days on the train to navigator school. Bubbles and Harry end up sitting across the aisle from each other the first few hours, then Bubbles's seatmate offers to switch with Harry since they're leaning in the aisle so much.

Harry agrees and drops next to Bubbles, who simply leans towards him again and keeps talking. Harry listens and laughs and tells his own story. By the time go to the sleeper car, Harry's so used to Bubbles touching his arm he doesn't even startle to feel the fingers on his back as Bubbles brushes past him to a bunk of his own.

"Night," Harry murmurs.

"Good night," Bubbles replies, and he reaches out and squeezes Harry's arm one more time before tucking his arms under his pillow to fall asleep.

*

They're a month into navigator training when it clicks for Harry. He's not sure exactly why he suddenly notices Bubbles touching him. Maybe because they're out with a group, and the local girls are gathered around to flirt. They're leaning in and laughing and touching the men on the arm, and when one does it to Harry as he finishes a story, he realizes that, for once, Bubbles isn't the one touching him.

He glances to his left, where Bubbles was sitting earlier. He's still there, just leaned in towards his own local girl. She says something, and he chuckles, but not like he does when Harry talks.

It makes something in Harry settle while something else starts to gnaw gently on his insides. He turns his attention back to his own girl, knowing the gnawing will reveal itself soon enough.

*

He figures it out the next week, when they're out again, but this time the girls have decided he and Bubbles aren't quite as cute as the last time they saw them. Harry doesn't blame them. They've both been up since yesterday, working on equations and stressing about the test they finished an hour ago. They look like hard-boiled hell.

"Naw, Harry," Bubbles says when Harry tells him. "You look like a sunny side up egg, same as always."

And the touch from Bubbles this time makes something warm curl in Harry's belly, makes the gnawing thing inside him go still. Harry looks at Bubbles's hand and feels brave. He leans in a little closer.

"If anyone's sunny around here, it's you," he says. "With that hair of yours, and your eyes. Blue like a clear day."

Bubbles ducks his head, and Harry's astounded to see him flush a little pink. "You figured me out, huh?" Bubbles says.

"Huh?" Harry asks.

Bubbles glances at him again, reading his face. His blush brightens, but so does his smile. He curls his hand good and snug around Harry's arm, just below the elbow, and he leans in that little extra closer. Their foreheads brush just a little. Neither of them startle. "Got a big crush on you, Harry. Have since I saw you at the train station. I thought, 'Wow, that's a handsome guy. So I asked you for a piece of gum just to really look at you, and I haven't looked away since."

Harry shakes his head. "You can't have had a crush this whole time," he says.

"Sure, I have," Bubbles replies. "Why not? You were nice right from the start. Didn't mind that I couldn't stop wanting to touch you."

Harry shakes his head harder, then stops when Bubbles sets his chin. "Okay," he says. "Maybe. Maybe you liked me right away."

"Course I did."

"And maybe I liked you right back," Harry says, thinking of saying goodnight on the train, of the way Bubbles squeezing his arm had felt so nice.

"Well, I'd hoped so," Bubbles replies, and he ducks his head again, presses his lips just above his hand, kisses the spot on Harry's elbow he touches the most. "And I hope you keep liking it."

"I'm sure I will."

[misty-groves]

Top ten worst ways to reveal you're a meta

Fandom: Dc

Relationships: Oc & Batfam

Rating: M

Summary: Cardinal has been hiding that she's a meta since she came back from the leauge. Damian knows and uses this and her love for her brother against her to save her life.

Unfortunately, that means everyone knows she's a meta now.

Warnings: Joker, injuries, violence, bombs, referenced trauma

-------

Cardinal has a pounding headache. She's sore and bleeding and pretty sure she can feel phantom hits. She's alive.

She's also pretty sure she's going to die.

She can hear the bomb counting down, but Cardinal won't look at it. She hurts, body too busy trying to heal big things to get much done with pain.

Cardinal is chained to the wall- utility belt behind her and hands chain in front of her. The cuffs are too thick to get out of by dislocation.

She's been pulled into a "recreation of my greatest hits" tour the joker is doing. Apparently she gets to be blown up after getting beaten. Super great.

She bit part of his ear off, though, so that's fun.

She really hopes Batman and Red hood are busy and not here. She's not sure how they'll react to this.

Joker had said it was fitting. Said meeting her end the way her Robin had was poetry.

Cardinal thinks it's really fucked up and unoriginal.

He hadn't cared for her thoughts.

She takes a slow breath. Then another. And another.

She's exhausted, she dosen’t know if she even has the resolve to use her power. She could very well just pass out and die anyway.

She-

"Cardinal!" Robin yells as he dashes in.

"Robin!" Several voices shout.

"Rob-in?" She blinks, looking up.

Her mouth tastes of blood.

The clock on the bomb reads nine seconds.

"I am going to get you out of here." Robin says sharply.

They're going to die.

No.

Cardinal bites her cheek as Robin starts reaching for his belt. She reaches inside her self- in to her very soul.

Six seconds.

She finds her determination and love, and she steels herself.

"Robin, get close, defense." She manages, hoping he understands. That she's coherent enough to get the old battle plan code across.

Four seconds.

Cardinal looks at him with what she hopes is convincing determination.

It dosen’t seem to work. Robin frowns at hed.

"Let me go!" Dick cries from somewhere.

Robin gets close, pressing against her. He hugs her as gently as he can.

Cardinal throws up her energy field dome, a shield. Small but solid enough, it covers then and cuts through the chains.

The bomb goes off, and Cardinal uses her now free arms to hold Robin closer. Shackles and chain still hang from her wrists- but she dosen’t care.

The building collapses around the dome. Covering them as they sink to their knees within the shield.

"Are you okay, habibi?" Cardinal asks Robin- asks her baby brother.

And God, how fucked is it that it's her youngest sibling to be here?

"I- my ears are ringing, and my com is busted... but I am okay." Robin says as he looks her over. "Are you?"

"I- Don't feel great... I think I'm gonna black out soon- can you hold me up?"

"Like this?" Robin asks as he adjusts so she's leaning onto him.

"Yeah. Head- uh- watch em." She manages.

Cardinal can feel her strength slipping as her body tries to black out. She fights it- making the glowing purple dome expand.

She expands it until all of the rubble has fallen off of it.

And then-

Then she's passing put as her power falters.

But they're safe.

The energy dome flickers before it fizzles out. Without her concentration, there's nothing to sustain it.

Robin clutches her closer. He'll deny it forever, but he's never done well seeing his sister hurt. She's the first person to show him affection, to love him gently.

Even when they were in the league, she was gentle with him.

Her love dosen’t dig into his heart. Dosen’t tear at him.

"It is okay, qamar." Robin says, "I have you."

Cardinal dosen’t answer. She whimpers in her unconsciousness. Her body is fighting to heal the gashes, bruises, and other open wounds.

Robin can hear people around him.

Footsteps rush forwards.

Nightwing and Red hood come to a stop as they arrive. Both look worried. Both look absolutely gutted.

"Is she-" Nightwing starts only to fall silent as he stares at his sister.

He's already seen her die once, he can't do it again.

He can't stop seeing her death. When she was younger. She was small and broken then.

"Cardinal is severely injured, but alive." Robin informs, "we need someone to keep her still when carried."

"What was that dome?" Hood asks as he squats down.

Robin wants to fight the older man when Red Hood reaches for Cardinal. No one should touch his sister when she's hurt.

No one.

But he can trust Todd.

Red hood scoops Cardinal up gently, unusually quiet as he holds her. The large frame serves to cradle instead of intimidate this time.

"What was that dome?" Nightwing asks, echoing the question from Red hood.

"I will explain later." Robin says as he pushes to his feet. "We need to focus on getting Cardinal to medical."

"You were in an explosion-"

"I am unharmed. The dome you saw was more than enough to protect."

Nightwing gives a dubious look between Cardinal's limp form and Robin's seemingly unharmed form.

Robin would usually ask how dare anyone doubt his sister, but he dosen’t. No one here knows how hard she trained her powerz.

Red Hood starts walking towards the bat-mobile. He moves carefully, making sure to keep the woman in his arms held as still as possible.

Robin follows. The youngest of the group sticks close to his sister, and by proxy close to Red Hood. He can't stop looking at his sister.

Every time Cardinal is jostled she lets out a squeak.

It's times like these that her family is reminded just how small she is. She's got one of those personalities that feels big.

Without her smile or her snark she's oddly silent.

Robin's stomach sinks with ever sound that escapes her.

"Report." Batman says as he opens the back door of the batmobile.

"She's alive." Red Hood grunts.

"And as stable as can be expected." Robin says, "She's survived worse."

"Not that I recall." Red Hood says, no real bite. It's mostly

"Yes well, I have five years where none of you were there." Robin scoffs.

"Can we go?" Nightwing snaps, "She's bleeding too much."

That snaps them into action.

-------

Cardinal - Ivy wakes up with a low groan as someone grabs her hand. Her head is throbbing, but she dosen’t think she's bleeding like she was..

"Ivy." Damian breathes out.

"Da-ian?" Ivy chokes as she pries her eyes open to blurry clinical light.

"I am here. Would you like water?" He asks, hand tightening on her's.

"Ye-ah, wat-ah." She manages with slurred speech.

"I will get you some. Can you sit up?"

Ivy pushes into a sitting position, propped against her pillow and the wall.

Damian slips away for a minute, just long enough to get her water. He returns with a plastic cup that he holds to her mouth.

Ivy takes it with a soft "thanks" and drinks some water. It's hurried and drips a little since her coronation is still a little messed up, but she's feeling a little better.

Damian takes the empty cup and sets it on the bedside.

"How are you feeling?" Damian asks as he examines her face.

"Like I got hit by a rampant kryptonian." Ivy groans, "You okay, habibi?"

Damian sighs at the nickname, but he's never fought it. "I am okay. You know your shield is safe enough to survive that."

"I know."

"The others saw it."

"I have to tell them. Don't I?" Ivy frowns.

"Probably for the best." Damian sighs.

"You shouldn't have come for me." Ivy says with a pointed look.

"Would you have called a shield if you were by yourself?" He counters.

She rolls her eyes. "That's not the point."

"Can we not just be grateful it worked out?" Damian asks with a raised brow.

"I guess."

The doors to the room open to reveal Jason in the doorway. He looks like he hasn't slept or showersd in days.

"Jay?" Ivy blinks.

"Todd left your side ten minutes ago to eat. He has been here the majority of the time." Damian says.

"Like you weren't." Jason scoffs.

"Boys." Ivy says with a sigh.

Jason turns his eyes on her and he softens. "I'm glad you're okay, princess."

And she is. She's sore, but she's okay.

[littlestpersimmon]

OK so ive always been into gentle swords but not fully got it but i Get It More now that uve posted more and i did a big read of all ur tag for it. so heres my questions. 1. we know how radinta reacts to finding out darenyas still alive but how EMO and 'nothing left to live for' unhinged does dinta become when he finds out about darenyas execution. also like how close to the execution does dinta know about all this in the first place (esp w the pregnancy ...) 2. youve touched on that darenyas undead + undead servants are used in the world as unending labor, is there any sort of way to tell someone id undead without them directly telling you? (also doesnt darenya count as twice undead because of his birth circumstances?) 👀👀👀

Ohh my g-d.. the more asks abt this the more I reveal how much of a whipping boy Dinta is to everyone around him..

Dinta is autistic as I mentioned before, so his only friends have always been just Humadsan and Narakan, whom are Both Also On The Spectrum, and Darenya.

They have been through thick and thin, been together catastrophe after catastrophe, however, no one grasps Dinta like Darenya does, no one is as kind and patient over Dinta's quirks and awkwardness and Difficult to Understand-ness like Darenya, who is just always... amused, never angry, and always willing to see the better side of Dinta's thought process, since Darenya knows what it's like to be Disabled But Not Visibly So.

Dinta was raised by a single mother, and though he's Understanding that life in an occupied land is difficult, and he's willing to give his mother Understanding, he just, also. Is terrified of the idea or being like her.

Because Renya is an "amsara", a child called back from a stillbirth for another shot at life, it is understood that he will only live partially a normal human lifespan, in my world's case, the oldest he could possibly be would be his early thirties. This doesn't daunt him, he's always known death, he has made peace with it. But also knowing he was gonna have a shorter life than other people, it made Renya very assertive, honest, and direct with asking for what he wanted.

It was him who pursued Dinta, asked him out, and was very protective of him. It was Darenya who was always chasing this boy and making sure he was okay. And Darenya's directness was very good to Dinta's brain, he never had to wonder if Renya had hidden motives or was not speaking in plain words.

Renya became pregnant when he was in his early 20s, and both him and Dinta were super excited, even if they both knew Renya did not have much long to live, they were determined to make the most of it,

Darenya would retire from his job at the rajah's court (he is a starfarer!), and Dinta would start to withdraw as well, Dinta is also a starfarer, but he'd be more of a "mission control" guy, like computing how much a ship should steer away from certain winds, monitors the weather condition, how much karhanan is needed to let a ship take off, just nerd shit, and he also makes wayfinding maps, for people like him who can't really memorize or visualize navigating stars by mind alone.

At the back of Dinta's mind, he knows he's gonna be a single dad for the rest of his life after Renya dies, and he's already sort of, depressed about it, and the only thing that they're both super excited about is how nice it would be to live near the ocean and they can swim every day, and both Renya and Dinta spend hours and hours drawing what their house is gonna look like..

Dinta, does one day, give Renya a small vial of this shiny liquid. It looks like.. almost translucent, almost prismatic liquid, and he WONT tell Renya where he got it, only that if he so wished.. to extend how long he belonged on their earth.. then he may have a drought of it. Renya would be shocked, because he immediately recognizes it to be sap from the saranggita, the holy trees from their world, and it is only permitted to take ONCE from it, to bring back stillbirths, but he is teased by the notion of getting to live longer, which was something he'd never even considered possible, so he keeps the vial Dinta gives him, and mulls it over.

But then eventually, Darenya finds out how Radinta got the vial, and another terrible betrayal, and he, being very hormonal and heartbroken, goes nuclear, but he does not stop loving Dinta, and Dinta does not stop loving him, and even to the Last day before Darenya eventually dies from his long, drawn out execution, Dinta never stops trying to, save him, run away with him and be vigilantes somewhere they can both be safe, even after Renya miscarried.. they can try again. Renya still dies, from infection, exhaustion, blood loss and just grief, and Dinta does not cry.

He does tenderly take Renya's body, in a fetal position and in rigor mortis, and he does the autopsy, the bathing.. scrubbed him clean in plumeria and coconut until he did not smell so dead and some of his beauty was restored to him.

Usually the Idina Tala, the undead slaves, would arrive to the deadships caked in blood and dirt and sweat, because the Idina Tala were executed criminals whose punishment continued even after death, and they were considered the dregs of mankind, people so unloved their deaths would just go on and on as eternal outcasts.

Renya arrived very clean, his nails clipped, his hair lovingly cut, bathed and with herbs in his mouth, and a talisman that would ward off any demons wishing to reposses his body, because Renya had an autopsy and was prepared like how a loved one would be buried, much unlike the others. The witches who would call him back remembered the man who dropped him off laying him down on the table very carefully, like he was still alive and could still feel pain.

I always see Dinta as having a blank face, rarely smiling, not mean, but just very.. reticent and withdrawn. He would comb back renyas hair on the table and stand there in numbed silence for a very long time, before he turns to the manhiyang, the witch who would reanimated Darenya to turn him into a slave, and he tells her, "do not think Ill of him. You know him not."

After Renya dies and is surrendered to the dead ships, its like Radinta was going about his life half a person, when he closed Darenya's lifeless eyes he knew no one would ever love him, and look on him with such deep understanding like Darenya did. Narakan did not know it was possible to have someone who was as distant to the world like Dinta, become even more distant, walking around the halls of the Rajah's palace like a man trapped in a thick fog. But, life must go on for Dinta, he still had some other matters to attend to, so. He focuses all his effort and energy and resources to find his sister in Sasaban, the most difficult to get into Sundering, and to get to Sasaban, he first must get to Janalila. All his hopes for the future, all his grief, he pours into finding the one family he has left, something to anchor him to the world, or else he might, he might die, lose himself to the myriad and the wheel of time.

In the world of Hidlawonen, when you are deemed to have done a social transgression, or a crime that is judged to be extremely gross, you receive a single tattoo, of a ring of salamanders and geckoes that goes around your limb. These are magical tattoos, one that remind the person branded that they have some role in the world to perform, and that all their actions must turn the wheel of time forward, meaning they must do all the good in life to progress the world. The more bad a person has done, the more they receive these rings of geckos. Almost everyone in Hidlawon has some form of gecko tattoo on their body, it is all part of being human to make mistakes. This system of punishment, though, is easily abused by people born into more fortunate circumstances, to isolate people they deem to be people "the wrong way", people who were born into misery are just.. trapped in a cycle of being miserable and a burden to their respective societies, and trapped to recommit evil acts trying to survive in a world that is just naturally hostile to them, and the gecko tattoos become a mark of shame the more there is on your body. The gecko tattoos are normally invisible, until you receive so much of them that they become visible and painful, once past your elbows or knees. The tattoos start at your ankles or below your shoulders, and the more "bad" you do as deemed by the local governments, the more tattoos of them you receive. When the gecko tattoos reach your wrists and ankles simultaneously, you are sentenced to death, and yoir fate is to become inevitably an Idina Talan, "no longer a person", an undead slave. That would be how people in Hidlawonen identify the Idina, and most Idina are "broken in thought and body", meaning while they are conscious, their mind is broken to the point they cannot speak, cannot smell, or anything. Most of the Idina simply cry, groan in pain, unable to remember who or what even they are.

[kingdaddydaichi]

NSFW Alphabet || Katsuki Bakugou

I had so much fun with this! Vodka may or may not have been involved in the making of this little ditty. 🍸 I hope you shameless hussies enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it. 😩

*Exhibit A:

(Source)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

I feel like he gets clingy asf, but plays it off like it's something he's doing for your sake. He'll probably never admit that he feels so vulnerable after sex, but he does. If it was a rough session - which it usually is with him - he'll ask if you're okay, if you're hurt anywhere, kiss any marks he left on you - he's such a protective hero boi.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His: he's not gonna lie, he's fully aware of how well-endowed he is. He really is proud of his cock, the way it makes you sing when he works it - and he knows how to work it okay? Favorite non-sexual body part - his arms. He works hard to keep them cut (as in lifting, not cutting). 😬

Yours: listen, Katsuki is an ass man through and through. Go ahead and tell me I'm wrong, I'm 👏🏼 not 👏🏼 listening 👏🏼. He loves to watch the subtle ripples he sends through your ass cheeks when he's driving into you from behind. Also, our big scary boomboom man appreciates a nice, thicc pair of thighs. Bonus points if they're muscular/toned - he loves the way it feels when your thighs have such a strong grip around him.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Let's just say our boy's orgasms are explosive. He cums hard and loud, shooting long ropes of his hot seed. Consistency is about average, not too thick, not to thin, but there's a lot of it. He doesn't taste too bad - salty, but not too bitter. You're more likely to gag from the sheer volume and force of his cum hitting the back of your throat than the flavor.

His precum gets honorable mention here. It's fucking delicious. That is all.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

It took him no less than 2 years into your relationship to tell you this, and if you ever tell anyone he might actually kill you, or at the very least make your ass bleed. He hasn't gotten to the point that he's ready to try it yet, but he's not entirely opposed to the idea of you pegging him. Someday. It kinda does make his balls tingle a little just thinking about it tbh. He hasn't yet, but he thinks he might be ready to try working up to it and is really close to asking you to stick a finger in his ass and stroke his prostate. He's heard how good it feels and he's super curious to find out for himself.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Not very experienced, actually. He's only had 1 or 2 lovers before you, BUT he's determined to be #1 at everything. Couple that with how perceptive he is and you've got yourself a winner of a loverboy. He's going to make damn sure that, even if things don't work out between you two, he will always ALWAYS be the best you've ever had. No other man will outdo him, E-V-E-R.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Doggystyle all the way, baby. As stated before, he loves watching your booty jiggle every time he slams his hips against it. He gets off on spreading your ass cheeks to watch his slick-coated cock slide in and out of you. God he just loves hitting it from behind, makes his dick so fucking hard.

Bonus 2nd Favorite Position (couldn't help myself): you on your back with your ankles on his shoulders, your ass lifted off the bed, him on his knees and hugging those thick thighs of yours, keeping them closed as he reams into you. (Slight variation of this one: he leans over you, nearly folding you in half, putting you back on your shoulders with his hands pressing into the mattress beside you, angling you such that his prominent corona rubs over your g-spot as he drills down into you. 10/10 you're gonna scream his name when (not if) your liquid gushes all over him.)

Tell me the truth, am I a disgusting human being? Here are all the fucks I give:

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Bakugou is serious asf about his sex game. This is not the time to joke around or poke fun at him, understand me? If you do he will get pissed and either fuck the silly out of you, or if he's feeling particularly ruthless he'll just stop altogether and let you ache for him as punishment until you beg him for release.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He takes care of his body, paying a lot of attention to his hygiene, which includes manscaping to keep his pubic hair trimmed and kempt. The carpet's just a shade darker than the drapes, like a honey blond. If he lets it grow out, it sticks straight out just like his head hair. It's actually kind of funny and he hates it.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

*sigh* Let's be honest. Katsuki is not the super romantic type, at least not outwardly. However, if he realizes something he's doing is hurting you - physically or emotionally - he's going to stop dead in his tracks and hold you close, push his fingers through your hair, and tell you how much he loves you and how safe you are. He can be rough and he can be an asshole, but if he thinks he's genuinely hurt you at all, he's all over you, doing everything he can to make you understand that he will never let anyone hurt you, especially not himself. Got that?

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He doesn't jack off very often. You two share a very active sex life so he doesn't see the need to. If you have to be apart for more than a day or two, he'll rub one out. Or if the need hits him particularly hard and you're not available or in the mood, he's not above closing his eyes and reaching into his pants to wrap his thick fingers around his cock and start tugging.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Lord Baby Jesus, where do I even begin? Kinky, kinky Katsuki. This man should come with warning signs and disclaimers.

First of all, he dom asf okay? Even if he lets you play with his ass someday, he's gonna be bratty about it. He's going to top from the bottom, hashtag facts. And trust that he WILL own you afterwards to securely reestablish his dominance.

Giving and Receiving: Hair pulling. DIRTY TALK - you think he's got a potty mouth in the streets? His mouth is downright filthy between the sheets. Loves it when you dirty talk right back to him. "You love taking my fat cock, don't you princess?" "Mm yessss, fuck me, Katsuki! Your cock feels so fucking good babyyy!" He eats that shit up.

Giving Only: Degradation. Praise. Spanking. Cockwarming. Dom/sub/power play. Shibari/ropework (he tried it bc you wanted to and he fucking loved it). Creampies. Begging. Discipline. Ravishment.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Literally anywhere inside your home/homes - bed, bathroom/kitchen countertops, kitchen/dining table, office desk/chair, any piece furniture is fair game really, up against a wall, washer/dryer, the fucking floor, ugh just all the places to fuck. Not one square foot is sacred tbh.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Wear something that showcases the curve of your butt. Doesn't have to be revealing per se, matter of fact he'll get possessive as fuck if you're showing too much skin in public. At home/privately though? He can't help himself. Dat ass tho...he is going to smack it hard enough that it stings and that's final, understand?

Tease him. You can't be obvious about it though. If he senses that you're doing it on purpose, it'll just backfire. But if you just so happen to brush against his crotch when you squeeze past him, it'll drive him crazy. Go commando in short shorts/skirt and cross your legs just so, his dick will twitch. Even better if you do shit like this in public where you know he won't act on it. But when you get home you best believe he's going to dick you down so hard, won't even bother to take said shorts or skirt off.

His ears and neck are his most sensitive erogenous zones. Whisper in his ear or kiss his neck and he's going to grit his teeth in an effort to fight back the shudder that threatens to rattle his bones.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Let's get one thing straight. Katsuki Bakugou does not share. This is non-negotiable. He will not agree to anything involving additional people - cuckolding, threesomes, orgies, exhibitionism, voyeurism (unless it's him watching you pleasure yourself - that he will gladly do, and probably start palming himself in the process).

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Loves giving and receiving. Giving puts him in full control of your pleasure, receiving makes him feel like you're worshipping his cock, which you probably are. Have you seen this man's cock? Of course you have. Gatdamn.

Y'all, Katsuki's so good at eating pussy. Like how does one get that good at eating pussy? I don't even know, but god the way he flicks his hot tongue over your precious, tiny bud before wearing it down like a fucking feed bag? It's unnatural. Like it could be his backup quirk if blowing shit up doesn't work out. You've seen the way he licks his lips when he gets excited, everyone has.* He doesn't even bother swallowing while he's feeding on you so you just be dripping in slick and saliva and he's just slurping away. It's lewd.

*See Exhibit A above.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

You already know this, but I'll say it anyway. His go-to fucking style is fast and rough, dominant and relentless, hard and dirty. But every once in a while he'll want to take you slow and deep and passionate. He'll hold you so tight in his arms and chest, you'll have to tap his shoulder sometimes to let you breathe. And he'll just roll his hips so fucking thoroughly both of you will feel every last inch, his pubic bone rubbing your clit so hard. You've told him so many times how much you love it when he makes love to you like this, but he maybe makes it a rare treat on purpose. 😈 Little shit.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Quickies are difficult for our boy. It's not that he's against them, it's just that he savors every drop of sensuality, he has a tendency to draw the pleasure out as long as possible. He can’t help it.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

The idea of having public sex turns him on, but he's only done it with you a couple of times when he was 10000% sure you wouldn't be caught. He can't risk doing anything that would tarnish his reputation and goal of becoming the #1 Hero. He might be freaky as hell, but he needs a sex scandal like an Alaskan needs a refrigerator.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He loves you long time. He's a Taurus for fuck's sake (well, Aries/Taurus cuspie, but that just sweetens the deal). Great stamina. Grinds you down like a whetstone. Can last as long as he needs to to ensure you cum for him as many times as it takes for you to beg him to stop. If he feels himself getting too close while you're blowing him, he'll stop you and go down on you instead. If he's inside of you, he'll pull out and start kissing all over your body, sucking, nipping, licking until his urge to cum passes, then he pushes it right back in and keeps going.

If on the off-chance he does cum before you, he'll be ready to go again in about 20-30 mins. Just give him some motivation, he deserves it.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He didn't own any toys when you first got together, but you did. He hated the idea of you using them though, especially when he's right there with you. You've since assured him that you don't want to use them to replace him, but to enhance the pleasure. So now you do use them from time to time.

The first time you managed to coax him into using a toy together, it was a small wireless bullet with a remote. When you brought it out and showed it to him, there was a wild glint in his eye. He carefully inserted the vibrator into you, his cock slowly following suit. He loved the fact that he had complete control over this thing, but later complained because the sensation of it against the head of his cock made him cum too fast. He still wants to use it sometimes though. 😏

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Oh he can be so unfair. He loves teasing you until you're begging him to put his cock inside you. He's not so much into orgasm denial per se; he just loves to hear you beg him for shit - to let you cum, to suck his dick, to stop fucking you when you're overstimmed, etc.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Lol he's fucking LOUD! And he's going to make you cum so hard that you're screaming his fucking name. There was a time when one or both of you lived in an apartment and the neighbors would bang on the wall behind your headboard.

Shit, what sounds does he NOT make? He growls, moans, grunts, groans, yells, swears, fucks you so hard you can hear the wet sound of slapping skin, hell even the bed protests. Another reason he doesn't fuck in public - he can't stay quiet enough to be discreet about it.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Okay, as much of a wild sex beast as he is behind closed doors, he gets embarrassed so easily when your sex life is so much as hinted at around others. It's legit funny how flustered he gets about it.

If he goes into work real tired and Kirishima says, "Hey Bakubro, you look like shit this morning. You and (y/n) stay up too late?" while doing the finger in the hole gesture, Katsuki will just "Shut the fuck up, Shitty Hair, or I'll blast your ass right through that fucking wall!"

Or if you two go out together with friends and the girls are talking about sex-related stuff, Katsuki will just roll his eyes and try to ignore it. But if one of them is all "So, (y/n), does Bakugou ever like accidentally let off explosions while you're doing it?" and you wink and say, "Only when he's especially *cough* frustrated *cough*". Katsuki will go red from his neck up to his hairline and start stuttering, sparks flying from his palms. "H-hey, d-don't tell them sh-shit like that! I-it's none of their god-goddamn b-business, (y/n), what th-the f-fuck?!" Meanwhile, you and the girls are in stitches while he stomps away, just mortified, bless his heart. When you catch your breath from laughing you'll follow it up with, "Looks like tonight's gonna be one of those nights", and you all lose it again.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

As has been mentioned, Bakugou's well-endowed. I figure he's packing about 7.5-8" in length x just under 2" wide. He takes some getting used to, that's for damn sure. Oh, and he's more of a shower than a grower. Like around 6" long x 1.5" wide when flaccid. Katsuki + sweatpants/basketball shorts = swinging dick print, alright sis? Take notes, this motherfucker visibly jumps when he does, class dismissed.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Eh, he's surprisingly not ridiculously horny. Maybe a little above average sex drive? A lot of times hero work just takes it out of him and he comes home utterly exhausted and just needs a soft place to land, and you provide him with all the love and nurturing in your heart. ❤

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Depends, really, on the time of day and what type of day it's been. If it's late (like past 9pm lol) and he fought more villains than usual that day, he's probs gonna pass out pretty soon after. If it's earlier in the day - especially first thing in the morning - it gets him pumped and almost comically genki.

[helloalycia]

my patient’s neighbour [six] // wanda maximoff

summary: after spending some more time with Wanda against your will, you begin to realise how she feels for you.

warning/s: none.

author's note: hope you like angst! because you got it 👀 also there’s only one more part left after this so be prepared!

part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part seven | masterlist | wattpad

"You look like you're on a warpath."

I stopped speed walking around the place when Natasha appeared out of nowhere, stepping in front of me. She seemed entertained, before she realised I was probably actually on a warpath.

"Hey, what happened?" she asked, amusement replaced with concern in seconds.

"Wanda happened," was all I said, before walking around her and storming up to the Sokovian in question.

When she spotted me, she opened her mouth to say something, but I didn't give her chance to as I grabbed her wrist and began to drag her away.

"Sorry, if you'll excuse me," Wanda got out to the guests she was chatting with, before I yanked her away. She began to complain as I did, asking, "What are you doing? I was in the middle of a conversation!"

I ignored her and proceeded to drag her away, certain that steam would be coming from my ears if this was a cartoon. Finding a private place to talk, I let go of her hand and spun around with a glare.

"Your thoughts are very loud right now," she said playfully, clearly not reading the situation.

"Then you know that I'm imagining several different ways to murder you," I got out between gritted teeth.

She scrunched her nose. "They all end in you going to prison."

Something about that obnoxious smile she wore and the way her hazel eyes watched me with anticipation was making me angrier by the second.

"How can you do that?!" I asked with exasperation.

She quirked a brow. "And what is 'that' exactly?"

I locked my jaw. "You ruined my date! You kept getting into my head all day, you were rude to Elise, and you're just– you're oozing with jealousy when you're the one who broke up with me!"

She scrunched her nose for the second time, and whereas I would have once found that endearing, I know found it greatly frustrating.

"Oozing? Really? Who says that?"

I closed my hands into fists, trying not to get baited by her purposeful obliviousness. But she was already under my skin, and ever since she broke up with me, the anger had been bubbling away, ready to come out.

"You're such a bitch, Wanda!" I shouted at her without hesitation. "You don't care that you just ruined my chance at moving on! Six months has passed since you broke up with me – you don't get to be jealous! I had to learn to be without you because you gave up on us and that's on you! So, you don't get to be here and make me feel bad for having a chance at a date because you can't make up your mind about us. It's not fair!"

My shoulders relaxed as I got my thoughts out, the anger still present but not as heavy on my back. She was infuriating as I watched her. Barely fazed by my words, a small smile played on her lips. She did nothing to acknowledge my mini speech, instead waiting for me to say something else.

"Seriously?!" I squeaked, my voice rising with annoyance. "Nothing?!"

As if pulled from a daydream, she straightened up and seemed confused. "Huh?"

I groaned loudly, eyebrows raised with disbelief. "For God's sake, Wanda!" Running out of patience, I shook my head and glared harshly. "I want you to stay away from me. You don't get to be in my life like this. And just in case you don't understand what I'm saying, here's something you will. Otvali (fuck off)!"

Not bothering to wait for a response, I stomped past her and didn't look back. As I was walking away, a tear slipped from my eye and I whipped it away without question. She didn't get to do this to me, not again. It wasn't fair.

— 

Despite practically yelling in Wanda's face to stay away from me, she didn't take the hint. Instead, I proceeded to see her two more times in places I least expected it. To be fair, I don't think she did it on purpose. But she could have easily walked the other way and pretended not to see me. Instead, she thought it would be best to piss me off further.

The first time was when I was at a park with a new patient I was caring for. He was wheelchair-bound, so I pushed him around as we spoke to pass the time. We eventually stopped at a newspaper stand since he wanted to buy a few magazines, and that's when I conveniently got bumped into by the Sokovian witch.

"Y/N, hey!" she exclaimed when I turned to see who was there. She had a wide smile on her face, eyes shining bright under the sun. Admittedly, it took my breath away for a second, as I didn't expect it in the slightest. But then I remembered who it was and tried to ignore the way my heart rate sped up.

"Hello," I mumbled, before looking back to the newspaper stand with hopes she'd go away.

"And who is this beautiful young woman, Y/N?" my patient, Dayton, asked as he noticed her beside me.

I pursed my lips, trying to figure out the best response without earning more questions from Dayton, but Wanda decided to answer instead.

"We were girlfriends," she told Dayton with a grin, eyes glancing to me.

"Key word being were," I added quickly, shooting her a look, before looking to Dayton. "It's not a big deal."

"It may not be to you, but it's good to see you, moya lyubov' (my love)," she said softly, grin fading into a genuine smile.

"Don't call me that," I snapped, hating the way her words had such an effect on me. Her stupid accent and her stupid smile and her stupid pretty eyes. Hated it all.

"Ooh, what does that mean?" Dayton asked, looking up between us.

"Nothing, Dayton," I told him calmly, before nodding to the stand. "Just buy your magazines whilst I talk to Wanda."

He shrugged and did as I said, leaving me a moment to stand back and look to Wanda disapprovingly.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, lowering my voice so I wouldn't make a scene. Nothing was accidental with her.

"Just enjoying a walk through the park," she answered with a shrug.

I rolled my eyes. "Well, enjoy your walk."

As I made an attempt to leave, she stepped in front of me suddenly.

"Wait, can we talk?" she asked, losing any sense of mischief.

"No," I deadpanned. "Now, can I leave?"

She frowned, eyes pleading. "Please?"

"I said no."

She sighed, glancing around with irritation. Her eyes settled on the flower stand beside the newspaper stand and I didn't have chance to question what she was thinking before her eyes began to glow red. Raising her hand conspicuously, red wisps of energy appeared and she levitated a single flower from one of the many bouquets, hovering it before me.

"For you," she said, and I ripped it out of the air, frantically looking around in case anyone saw.

"Very clever," I said sarcastically, before looking at the flower and shaking my head. "Stealing isn't cool, by the way."

I dropped the flower on the ground and walked away, my foot stepping on it as I did. She needed to get a damn hint.

—

The second time Wanda reappeared in my life was when Anna invited me to Sasha's home for a visit. I'd been once before, a few weeks after she'd moved in with her granddaughter's family, but not since then. This time, she'd invited me over again to catch up and I assumed it would just be me and her family; Oh, how wrong I was.

Sasha and her family were pretty wealthy, their house sitting on the outskirts of New York and on its own private land. She was a lawyer, hence the wealth, and her home was absolutely stunning with its high ceilings, floor to ceiling windows and three floor structure. Even as I parked out front for the second time in my life, I was blown away.

As I got out of my car and locked it, I noticed another car parking out front – a taxi, dropping someone off. Curious, I waited to see who it was. My eyes narrowed when I noticed a familiar face exiting the taxi and paying the driver. When the taxi drove off, Wanda saw me and began to smile with amusement, joining me at the front door.

"The stalking is getting creepy you know," I told her when she stood by my side.

I knocked on the door using the giant knocker and waited patiently for someone to answer.

"I'd love to take the credit for this," Wanda answered, and I could see her smug smile in my peripheral, "but I was invited by Anna."

I swallowed hard, resisting the urge to roll my eyes, both at Wanda's presence and Anna's secrecy. "Of course she did..."

The door opened to reveal none other than Anna Pivec herself, balancing on her cane and grinning at the sight of Wanda and I.

"Devushki (girls), you made it!" she exclaimed with delight, before stepping to the side. "Please, come on in!"

We both entered her home and watched as she closed the door before giving us both a big hug without warning.

"Oh, okay," I mumbled, but wrapped an arm around her gently. "It's good to see you, too, Anna."

Anna laughed wholeheartedly before pulling away. "I'm sorry. I just missed you both is all. It's so good to have you here, together again. Just like old times."

I forced a small smile, knowing what she meant but also feeling a pang in my heart because it wasn't completely like old times, not really. Naturally, my eyes fell to Wanda who was already looking my way, a similar expression on her face. I wondered if she was thinking the same.

"C'mon, I'll bring you to the kitchen where everybody else is," Anna said, already leading the way. "They're excited to have you over again."

"You didn't mention Wanda would be here, too," I noted as she led us through the main hall.

"Oh, didn't I?" she replied, feigning confusion. "I must have forgotten."

"Hmm." I pursed my lips, ignoring the obnoxious smile that returned to Wanda's lips as we followed Anna.

She led us to the kitchen where Sasha and her husband were preparing some food for the supposed barbecue we'd be having. I'd met her husband the last time I visited, so it was easy to get reacquainted with them both as we met them again.

After a brief catch up, Wanda and I offered to help with the food, but Sasha insisted we take a break and hang out with the twins – her kids – whilst they cooked it up outside. So, I soon found myself heading to the living room with Wanda as Anna went to fetch the twins from their bedrooms upstairs.

I wasn't exactly keen on being left alone with Wanda, so I decided not to say anything and simply keep to myself as we waited for Anna's return. Killing time, I wandered around the living room and looked at the family photos hung on the wall. It was the same as last time, except now there were a few new additions, clearly from Anna, which made me smile without thinking.

They were of Wanda, Anna and I, back when I used to care for her and we'd hang out at her apartment. Some were in the apartment itself whilst others were from places we'd visited together on different occasions. I recognised a handful of them from when Wanda and I were just friends and a few more from when we were a couple. It was clear in the photos which were which, as Wanda was holding my waist and grinning from ear to ear, myself doing the same. For a split second, I almost forgot she'd broken my heart.

"Wow, we looked really cute together, didn't we?" her stupid Sokovian accent sounded by my ear, and I lost my smile when I felt Wanda's presence stood a little too close to me.

She was looking over my shoulder at the photos on the wall and I tried not to get frustrated, but she made it impossible.

"Yeah, we were," I agreed, noticing the surprise on her face at my words, but then I continued, "until you dumped me because you were too scared to stay in a relationship."

Her smile faded at my words and I left her standing there, instead going to the couch to wait there. I wasn't sure why Anna had kept those photographs of us, but I wished she hadn't. 

After what felt like forever, Anna finally returned with her two great-grandkids in tow. Alex and Marina, both seven-years-old, grinned adorably at Wanda and I, betraying their missing teeth.

"Well, look who it is," Wanda said with a bright smile, bending over and putting her hands on her knees. "My favourite set of twins."

Despite how annoying she was, I couldn't help but smile at the way she treated kids. She was always so good with them generally, way better than I was.

"G.G. said we could play Mario Kart," Marina said behind a nervous smile, looking between us. "Can we?"

G.G. was what they called Anna – short for 'great-grandmother'. I found it cute that they accepted her into the family so easily, like no time had been missed.

"I think we can," I said with a warm smile. "But I can't promise we'll take it easy on you."

Alex fist-pumped with excitement before running to the TV to set up his Nintendo Switch. Marina, the calmer of the two, motioned for Wanda and I to take a seat on the couch with her. Anna joined us, taking her place on the recliner, and watched with amusement.

Wanda and I had never actually visited them together, so it was refreshing to see how excited they got around her. Clearly she'd made an impression last time.

"For you," Alex said politely, holding out a controller to me.

"Why thank you," I said, accepting it. "So polite."

He seemed embarrassed as he did the same with Wanda, who hadn't stopped smiling since they came in. After handing his sister a controller, he joined us on the couch, forcing everyone to move up a little and making Wanda press closer to me at the end of the seat. I gave her a knowing look to which she smiled innocently, making me roll my eyes.

"You not gonna have a go, Anna?" Wanda teased Anna as Alex began to set up the game.

"The moving cars makes my head spin," the older Sokovian woman admitted. "You guys enjoy though."

Soon enough, the first game commenced and I was surprised at how competitive I was being, adamant on at least beating Wanda if not the twins. They, of course, spent all their time playing this, so Marina won Wanda and I easily. Wanda came in fourth, I came in third and Alex came in second.

"You just got lucky," Wanda said with a shrug, glancing at me.

"If you say so," I played along, a ghost of a smile on my lips.

"I'm being Toad this time!" Marina exclaimed as Alex set up the next round.

"I'll be Princess Peach," Wanda decided nonchalantly.

"She won't help you win," I said without thinking.

"We'll see, milashka (cutie)," she responded with a playful smile.

I nudged her in the arm, signalling for her to not call me that, but she only smiled wider as she looked back to the screen.

We had a few more rounds, Wanda winning none of them and Marina winning all of them, when Alex began to complain.

"It's not fair, you have to be cheating!" he said to his sister.

"I'm just better," Marina stated casually, making me laugh.

Alex rolled his eyes before looking to Wanda. "Did you used to play this with Pietro? Did he cheat, too?"

I raised my eyebrows with surprise at the mention of Wanda's dead twin brother. I didn't think she'd tell the twins of him, but then I realised that it was only fitting to mention her twin brother to a set of twins that probably reminded her of herself.

Wanda smiled gently. "We didn't have these games as kids, Alex. But when Piet and I played other things, yes, he did cheat." 

Alex sighed, glancing at his sister with distaste before looking to me. "Did you used to play this when you were younger, Y/N?"

"Kind of... I mean, I don't have any brothers or sisters, so I used to play at my cousin's house whenever I visited," I explained. "And it wasn't a Switch. We had something called a Super Nintendo."

"Woah, you're old," Alex muttered with disbelief.

"Alex!" Anna scolded, making me laugh.

"It's okay, he's technically right," I said with a shrug.

"Milaya (sweetie), if you're old, then I'm ancient," Anna said disapprovingly.

"Right, sorry," I said, trying to stifle my smile.

We played another round and as Wanda and I were closing in on the finish line, my joystick began to veer left despite me aiming it to the right. I looked down in time to see red wisps of energy pushing it the other way.

"Yes! I won you," Wanda sang with pride, looking to me as her eyes faded from red to its hazel colour.

"You cheated," I said, eyebrows raised. "I just saw you."

"I don't know what you're talking about," she played dumb.

"Wanda," I said, giving her a knowing look. "You sure it was Pietro who used to cheat when you were kids?"

She grinned. "Very sure."

I studied her closely, entertained smile tugging at my lips. "I'm just gonna pretend I let you beat me since you won't admit it."

She shrugged, nudging me in the side gently. "Suit yourself."

"You're supposed to let your wife win anyway," Alex said naively, and I almost choked on my own spit when he did.

"What?" I spluttered out, losing my smile.

Wanda was doing her absolute best not to laugh as her eyes glanced towards me, noticing my shocked expression.  

"Your wife – Wanda?" Alex said like it was obvious. "Our dad says he lets our mum win stuff all the time. It's what you do when you're married."

"I– we–" I paused, clearing my throat and suddenly feeling very warm. "We're not married, Alex."

Alex furrowed his brows with confusion. "But G.G. said that you weren't together."

"But that doesn't mean we're married," I said slowly, hoping my face wasn't as red as it felt.

"Medovyy (honey), they're not together anymore, you're right," Anna started to correct him, though she looked like she was seconds away from laughing herself, "but I never said they were married."

Alex didn't seem to understand still. He pointed to Wanda's hands. "But she's wearing a ring."

Everyone looked down to Wanda's hands which were adorned by several rings on many of her fingers, though none were on her ring finger, so I didn't get what Alex was thinking.

"I always wear rings," Wanda told him with amusement.

"But–"

"That's her right hand, idiot," Marina said to her brother with a scoff.

"No, it's her left," he said knowingly, before raising his left hand in the air and pointing to her right hand opposite him.

Marina rolled her eyes, already fed up with her twin's antics. She stood beside him and motioned to his hands as she explained, "That's your left. It's her right. Like a reflection. It's not a wedding ring."

It took a few seconds for Alex to understand, but when he did, he began to get flustered.

"Oh," was all he said, before returning to his seat. "My bad."

Anna laughed at her great-grandson's embarrassment as I began to flush with a similar embarrassment in my seat. Meanwhile, Wanda was biting her lip to contain her own laughter, eyes teasing me as they glanced at me with amusement.

Today was definitely not going to plan.

—

After gaming with the kids for a little while longer, we were all eventually called into the garden to have lunch together. Sasha and her husband had barbecued a variety of chicken, meat and vegetables for us to eat which was delicious. It gave us the chance to hear everything Anna had been up to with her family and for her to catch up with what's going on in Wanda and I's lives.

Anna seemed a lot happier, the happiest I'd ever seen her, when she was with family. I was glad that she was fitting in and that it brought her closer to her late-husband and daughter. This was all she'd ever wanted and she'd finally gotten it. Despite tricking Wanda and I into coming, I was kind of glad to be there because even if I wouldn't admit it at the time, it was just like old times.

After having dessert and conversing for longer than we realised over some tea and coffee, Wanda and I decided it was best we leave.

"Remember to come by anytime," Anna said to us both by the front door. "You don't even have to call!"

I smiled, nodding. "Thank you, Anna. It was great to see you again. I had a lot of fun today."

"Me, too," Wanda agreed. "It's really good to see you so happy."

Anna sighed contently. "Spasibo (thank you). Both of you." Pausing with thought, her eyes flickered between us both. "I do hope that you resolve things soon. For both of your benefit."

Chewing on my lip, I chose not to say anything. Wanda seemed to feel the same, opting to stay quiet, making Anna breath out halfheartedly.

"Right, well... are you both okay getting home?" she asked, changing the subject.

After reassuring her that we were, we gave her a giant hug before bidding her a goodbye. Once the door closed, I awkwardly glanced at Wanda before heading to my car.

"Hey, is it stupid if I ask for a ride?" Wanda's voice said from behind me.

I looked over my shoulder and saw her following after me, half walking and half running to fall into step with me. I refrained from rolling my eyes as I continued walking to my car.

"Didn't you get a taxi?" was all I said.

"Yeah, but my place is on the way to yours," she answered like it was nothing, finally catching up to me and grinning by my side when we reached my car. "And you're free, so..."

I narrowed my eyes impatiently.

"I won't do or say anything to piss you off," she added, putting out her pinky. "Promise."

As frustrating as she was, I wasn't a bitch, and we'd actually kind of gotten along today. With a dramatic sigh, I stepped to the side and motioned for her to get in the car. She wiggled her pinky, but when realising I wouldn't interlink mine, she lowered it.

A genuine smile fell on her lips as she nodded. "Thank you."

I simply returned the nod before getting into the driver's seat as she did with the passenger's seat. I put Wanda's address in the sat nav before setting off, trying not to overthink the silence that filled the car. Obviously, that was impossible, so I gripped the steering wheel tighter and glanced at Wanda.

"You can put the radio on if you want," I said uncomfortably, shifting around in my seat.

She tensed her jaw, looking (oddly enough) as uncomfortable as I felt, which was strange since she was content annoying me earlier. With a nod, she turned the radio on and some random pop music played quietly in the background, easing my nerves but not making anything more tolerable. It took about ten minutes for me to adjust to the silence when I finally got comfortable, focusing on driving and getting to Wanda's flat quickly.

Without warning, Wanda began to speak in Russian, but it was way too fast and incomprehensible so I had no idea what she was saying.

"Wanda, slow down, what are you talking about?" I asked, trying to cut her off, but she continued to ramble right over me, making me roll my eyes. "Wanda, I don't understand you!"

When I looked to her between driving, she seemed extremely passionate and stern about whatever she was saying. I wished I understood because whatever it was seemed to be eating away at her. I tried to ask her to slow down, speak English, do something to help me out, but she was stuck in tunnel vision, speaking quickly and with sadness.

After what felt like forever but was probably only a minute, she stopped talking and took a deep breath. I furrowed my eyebrows judgementally, eyeing her with confusion.

"The hell was that?!" I asked with surprise.

She didn't reply, making me curse under my breath. At the next red traffic light, I looked to her properly, noticing the distracted stare she directed my way.

"Wanda, what was that?" I repeated, raising an eyebrow.

She pressed her lips together, hazel eyes swirling with a mixture of emotions that I couldn't make out. I thought she'd answer me, but she still stayed silent.

"Seriously, Wanda, what?"

The traffic light began to go orange and I sighed with annoyance, figuring she'd lost her marbles. But then she finally spoke, my attention half on her and half on the road.

"Ya skuchayu po tebe (I miss you)," she said softly, without mischief or annoyance or anger or anything. Just sincerity.

She looked away after that, eyes drifting to her shoes, probably thinking I didn't understand. But I did and I knew it shouldn't have affected me as much as it did, but I felt my heart ache in my chest as I put my foot on the gas to make the green light.

When I finally reached her apartment building, I waited for her to say something, but she looked as lost in her thoughts than I did whilst driving.

"Wanda," I called quietly, getting her attention.

She blinked, realising we were at her place. Clearing her throat, she barely looked my way as she mumbled, "Thanks for the ride."

As she opened the car door and got out, beginning to walk to her building, I rolled down the passenger's window and called her name. She stopped, looking over to me with a raised brow.

My mouth felt dry as I said, "I know what 'I miss you' is in Russian." Her eyes widened, embarrassed that she'd been caught, and I continued, "You don't get to miss me."

It was harsh, but it was the truth. And I didn't wait to hear her come up with a response as I rolled my window up and set off again. She couldn't act like that when it was her fault we broke up. It wasn't fair on either of us.

[atherix0]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH MUMBO MY BELOVED MY POOR MAN looking at the pictures of scar, wondering what could have been, reflecting on his lost past, HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE bless him. While also trying to keep this bird brain in check that he's fallen in love with, oh my god.

Scar's dad voice is everything to me, btw. It is *everything*. The fact that they're gonna have a throuple w scar in the future which means they're gonna also have a son and Mumbo is gonna get his familial life back? my heart is weak for this.

Also them just like. Dropping in on Scar? Because they happened to be in Aqua Town? Everything to me. Being careful with his secrets but still meeting with him in his place of business, being whisked through his home because first they needed somewhere more private to talk? BUT THEN SCAR JUST - LETTING THEM SEE HIS HOME???? I fall to my knees its so good. The wards everywhere? To protect his shop and his son? AHHHHH and yet here are Mumbo and Grian just inside, looking at everything

W H Y do I get the feeling you're going to use Grian's 'distracted by shiny things/bird brain' against us at some point. *squint*. So far its been mostly wholesome when he gets distracted like that but i just. Hmm. Hm hm hm. I am foreseeing something bad happening to the bird boy because of this. Frankly ive been waiting with bated breath for something bad to happen to the bird boy bc I'm waiting for Feral Mumbo and Scar. 👁️👁️

Also they're going on a date. None of them realize it but they're going on a date. To get food. See Aqwua Town. They've literally been sitting in their date's home waiting on him to get dressed for their date they're like teenagers waiting on their prom date to come down.

I love them.

Me throwing Angst in the Wholesome: Yessss BBut yeah Mumbo's lost past <3 It plays a big part in something in Mumbo's past that I haven't revealed yet <3 ghdsjkfdsjh even distracted and wistfully nostalgic Mumbo sees Grian being Birb and says "wait no" hhhjf

I have so much fun with Scar's Dad Moments. His son might be an adult but he's still a dad hjgfdjksa I have way too much fun writing out their interactions <3 they love each other so much but Grian has definitely now met his trouble-making match lmao. YEAH I THINK ABOUT THAT A LOT <3 (Also puts an irony on one of the last chapters where Scar tells them not to interfere in his family bc they're his friends, NOT family and they have no right lmaooo yea I totally wrote that scene with the irony in mind) Mumbo's family is gonna grow and it's gonna be great <3 He may or may not become a Dad without realizing it lmao

YESSSS I love it when my friends drop by at work so <3 but yesss Scar inviting them into Places Visitors Are usually Not Allowed is just <3 OKAY YEAH BUT ALSO THE FACT HE LETS THEM GO UP, into the home he shares with his son who he is so so protective of, WHILE HE STAYS DOWNSTAIRS TO CLOSE THE SHOP, idk about you but I never let anyone in my house when I'm not there hjfgdshjk Yesss so much trust <3 So heavily warded it stopped Mumbo in his tracks at the front door but then there they are, welcomed in so easily <3 Allowed to see the parts of his life that he had kept hidden from them <3 <3

:) :) :) I mean... there IS a guideline in writing, you may have heard of it, it's got this cool little name... what was it again... :) Something bad has happened to Scar twice now, it's someone else's turn for a change <3

YEAH I love "it's not a date but it's totally a date" dates, they're so fun bc they just think it's hanging out but really- really. ghfdsjhds

Me too <3 hhh THANK YOU I LOVE READING THIS <3

[uwua3]

if it's ok 😳👉👈 i really love your writing and i've had this idea in my head for awhile but i can't get myself to write it on my own 🤔 i wanted to see how your spin would be on it- so can i request a prompt where reader gets jealous of tenma's co-actress in a romance and tries to mimic what she does to him in a show they're in?? ty!!! 💕💕💕 i look forward to your interpretation

thank you so much for requesting~ ♡ i love you sososo much; i hope this lives up to everything you’ve dreamed of! ♡ ～('▽^人) i LOVE YOU!!! <333

summary: when tenma lands a role in your favorite drama, he had one goal: to become your favorite actor

warnings: envy/jealousy, food mentions, rivalry (all covered briefly!)

author’s note: after learning everything there is to know about the k-drama, true beauty, on tik tok, i’ve decided to write this! for context, the only thing i recommend watching before reading this is watching the “roar” scene!

this is also the first time i’ve introduced made-up characters with names! please enjoy jun, the first character who isn’t canon to the a3!verse :D

word count: 3,768

music: like a movie – b1a4

pretty u!

🌻☀️ sumeragi tenma

what the heck was love, and why did he have to be in it?

sumeragi tenma, future “world’s best actor”, was suddenly... seeing why he hadn’t won that award yet. with a script in his hand and confusion in another, tenma read the title of the next drama he landed the role for

“PRETTY U...” it was japan’s next major love story, advertised on every social media platform possible with the all-star cast in the spotlight already. although it had already been out for a season, tenma was entering as the up-and-coming newest character of the series

tenma was boyish, young, and much too confident for his age—perfect for the role of a second-lead bad boy who was going to steal the heart and test the protagonist’s commitment

except... he didn’t actually want to take up a new project so soon. he only did because—

“what?! you’re going to be chan on PRETTY U?!” he proudly nodded and watched as you began ranting about how much you loved this show. there was only one reason he came to the audition: tenma wanted to star in your favorite television series

you always went on and on about how great everything about PRETTY U was. after hearing so much and pretending not to listen (even if he could practically explain the entire plotline now without watching it), tenma let himself become a fan, too

after all, how could he not be a fan when you loved PRETTY U so much?

tenma didn’t respond to his manager’s pleas until one day, you revealed another reason why PRETTY U was your favorite production: the main lead

“he’s so handsome~ i love him so much!” “do you know him? could you get me his number?” “look at him... he’s the most perfect actor in the business right now—ah, sorry ten!”

tenma scoffed every time, claiming he could most certainly do better than that hotshot. although the boys typically didn’t do the same type of television, he had become tenma’s #1 rival without even knowing it

besides... what did that guy have that tenma didn’t? he was just nice! sure, he held open the door for the lead, bent down to tie her shoes, bended over backwards just to be the perfect boy-next-door. yeah... even he couldn’t pretend anymore

tenma pouted at the thought, skimming over his next pilot episode for rehearsal tomorrow. he was too good to be real, after all, he was meant to end up with the lead girl anyways (spoiler alert!)

but, it didn’t matter how perfect that actor was! because tenma had gotten the role of “chan”, the leather-jacket wearing mystery with an actual heart of gold, and he was going to make the entire audience swoon

(though, tenma just wanted to make your heart skip a beat when he ended up on the big screen)

tenma would never admit how fast he checked his phone when he felt it buzz in his pocket. sure, it was unprofessional during rehearsal but he knew it was you. however, his smile dropped the moment he read what you sent

you: remember to tell him how much i love him!

tenma: hah... no good luck for your new bad boy?

you: you know i’ll always root for you, ten!

tenma: but, i’m better than that actor, right?

tenma watched his message get delivered and was about to keep bothering you until someone called his name like they were friends. speak of the devil...

that actor’s straight, white toothy smile made tenma stand a little straighter (damn it, tenma was shorter), eyes wide as the actor gracefully introduced himself as his co-star for the next month or so (how did his voice sound even better in person?!)

“good morning, tenma! my name is jun, i’m so honored to meet a fellow actor on set! let’s work together well!” were they... really the same age? tenma barely registered the fact he was suddenly shaking jun’s (right, that’s his name) hand. why did he have such a manly grip?

tenma quickly (to his dismay) found out that him & jun had entered the industry around the same time but often had different projects, so they were never featured in the same production before. apparently, that was creating quite a buzz in the media that two childhood stars were competing against one another

a competition that tenma couldn’t lose. he was going to be your favorite actor, not his rival!

jun, like the perfect gentleman everyone described him to be, showed tenma around the PRETTY U set. jun had nothing but good things to say about the crew and vise versa. that only reinforced how tenma was oddly much more quiet than he usually was. luckily, one of the talents of being an actor was improvising, so jun was doing just fine

when they had reached the dressing rooms, jun shot a bright smile at tenma and gestured to the rather large room

“we’ll be sharing a dressing room together, tenma! we’ll be spending a lot of time together!”

tenma suddenly regretted his decision to become chan of PRETTY U. you couldn’t have had a different favorite show?! anything but... this

there were now three main characters for PRETTY U: hoshi, yuri, and chan, creating a love triangle for millions of viewers to watch every week

nakamura jun, leading role, played “hoshi”, the boy-next-door. this is the popular boy at school with the best grades and an even greater reputation amongst everyone. next, uedo ren, one of japan’s rising female actresses of this generation. she is adored as “yuri”, the perfect girl. she is the typical nerd who suddenly transformed into the prettiest girl at school from learning make-up

last (but definitely not least!) is sumeragi tenma, playing “chan”, the bad boy. it was nothing like tenma’s done before, since the character was much less expressive than he was used to. chan is a traditional rebel who is revealed to have a soft side for yuri. but, chan (ironically enough) has a secret history with hoshi, causing tension in this already confusing love triangle

(embarrassingly enough, jun had to explain to tenma the complications and ties between each character. tenma, unfortunately, found it to be extremely helpful)

even with this newfound knowledge of the characters in season 2, tenma couldn’t help but absolutely ruin the first day of rehearsals. even with a decade or so of acting as his experience, one thing kept him from being chan: his lack of chemistry with “yuri”

“cut!” the director called out again for the nth time, sighing as their eyes landed on tenma, who was not enjoying being the center of attention this time, surprisingly

“take 5, kid. once you come back, i expect you to actually go through this scene without messing up your lines.” tenma nodded and exited quickly, feeling flustered from the looks of sympathy directed his way. usually, it was one-and-done. it didn’t take a hundred tries just to do another romantic and cliché scene

tenma exhaled loudly once he felt the fresh air upon his face. without the fear of cameras in his face anymore, tenma ran his hand through his hair with a frustrated kick at the concrete. come on! he was renown child actor sumeragi tenma, why was he so in his head now?

tenma was about to yell into the sky before he heard someone close the door, standing beside him with their usual silence. tenma didn’t even have to look to know it was jun (probably with the most pitiful look ever)

“tenma? are you okay?” jun waited as tenma tried to not say anything he’d regret, shifting his weight on his foot back and forth before relenting, shrugging as if it couldn’t be helped

“i don’t know... i just, i can’t see yuri that way. how am i supposed to flirt with someone i don’t even like?”

jun pondered the thought for a moment, before tilting his head, a boyish smile overtaking his features. tenma unwillingly relaxed; jun finally looked his age

“who do you like then?”

tenma froze, a blush even foundation couldn’t hide blossoming on his cheeks. jun let out a teasing “oooh!” as he nudged tenma with his shoulder, who pushed back with an eye-roll

“i-it’s not like that! don’t be so—ugh!” tenma cut himself off, rubbing the back of his neck and avoiding jun’s knowing eyes. damn it, they barely knew each other. why was he getting so comfortable with his enemy?!

“well, whoever you thought of, imagine yuri as them.”

“is that what you do?”

jun shrugged, not giving a clear answer for once. before tenma could ask for more information, their break was over

when tenma returned to the scene, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes. when he opened them again, he watched as yuri transformed into the one person he’s been trying to impress this entire time: you

when “you” smiled, tenma couldn’t help but follow along. his first-take after break made the cut for the final product

“you must really like them, tenma~” — “stop!!!”

filiming afterwards became easy, especially when he imagined all his romantic words were directed towards you. he could feel the clamminess of his hands, the rapid beat of his heart, the intense blush across his face, all at the thought of you

(the only time he had to start over was when he accidentally said your name instead of yuri’s)

tenma was sure he’d become your favorite actor now! after all, you were his favorite person

“will you watch the first episode of PRETTY U’s season 2 with me?”

you had never said yes so fast in your entire life. when tenma learned there’d be a cast-viewing of episode 1 after finishing the season, he knew his +1 invite could only go to the biggest fan of the show

throughout filming, you were always the person who got him in trouble when the text tone wasn’t put on silent. you liked spamming tenma with a bunch of supportive and encouraging messages when you were available, meaning tenma always had something to look forward to after each scene

in return, tenma would send a selfie of him with his castmates or the set (or, what he was allowed to show under his contract). yet, despite your constant pleas, there was one co-star he’d never take a photograph with: jun

(“tenma! we’ve worked together for months~ shouldn’t i be called your friend now?” “no—” “huh?! don’t pretend you don’t like me!” “who said i was pretending?” “tenma!”)

at first, tenma was apprehensive about inviting you to an event where jun’s picture-perfect face would be on display everywhere. but, whenever he saw you, the weight of the tickets suddenly felt much heavier in his pocket. he couldn’t deprieve you of such an exclusive event just because of his jealousy (even if he was this close to doing so)

when tenma impulsively asked three days before, it felt worth it when you threw your arms around him (he hugged you back and pretended this meant something to you)

“i love you, ten!”

tenma felt like he was on set again, with yuri’s arms tightly holding onto his heart

“i love you, too.”

even after saying it so many times, tenma meant it even if he didn’t say it to your face every time

you looked like the star of the show

tenma fixed his tie as his blazer suddenly felt too tight. you appeared in your most formal attire, looking like a million bucks as you two sat across each other in the limo

“ten, look at all of this!” you pointed out every little thing of preparing for a professional event. the little glasses of champagne neither of you two could drink sat to the side as the leather seats molded to fit your posture. as the night lights of tokyo blurred by, tenma couldn’t help but think you sparkled more than this diamond of a city

“i can’t wait to go see the first episode! thank you for inviting me.” you bowed your head, as if suddenly overcome with gratefulness. tenma lightly kicked your shoe with his, fondly rolling his eyes as he tried not to smile (mission failed)

“don’t worry about it, who else would i bring? you’re my favorite pe—friend. friend, yeah...” tenma trailed off, suddenly finding something very interesting outside of the window. you only nodded, seemingly more interested in the fact there was enough room to walk around

when tenma caught sight of the infamous red carpet laid out in front of the theatre, he cleared his throat and put on his best face for the cameras. after stepping out of the car with his bodyguards nearby, tenma turned and gave you a genuine smile. not his typical arrogant smirk the news source ate up, but a type of smile only reserved for you

when he held out his hand, the flashing lights behind him seemed like a real celebrity, something you had never considered him to be before. it was like seeing tenma in a new light (both literally and figuratively)

“shall we?” you took his hand and wondered if you could ever have your own j-drama. perhaps, tenma could even be the main lead...

before you could step off to the side, tenma already had his arm wrapped around your waist with his unchanging expression (however, underneath it all, he was internally freaking out. what was he going to do now?!)

“you’re my date, right? walk the red carpet with me.” tenma winked (you swore it sparkled) as he gestured towards the carpet ahead. suddenly, the line seemed much longer

“t-ten... you’ve never brought a date before...” you mumbled, acutely aware of how soon it was to walk down together. tenma’s arm stiffened, but nothing else exposed the revelation as he looked down at you

“you’re my first, then.” and my last, tenma thought to himself. before you could change your mind, it was showtime. tenma put on his movie star face and introduced you to familiar interviewers, smiling away as if you two weren’t panicking on the inside

while you were focusing on the fact you were going to be going viral as tenma’s first “date” to the event, tenma was trying not to blush from how close you were. you felt... right besides him

tenma was a natural in front of an audience waiting for him to make a mistake. he flawlessly answered every question with swaggering confidence, his stride easy and poses photogenic

you did your best to follow his lead but it all ended when tenma took you into the theatre, staring down at you with a bright smile

“we did it! see, told you we’d be just fine.” tenma let out an exhale of relief, glowing with joy from the adrenaline of everything that came with being a superstar. as you looked up into his excited eyes, you saw him lean down before—

“your arm is still around me.”

silence, then a hurried separation as tenma put too many feet between you two. it was suddenly as if you two were strangers. you regretted the words the moment they left your mouth; you didn’t mind at all... why did you say something?!

“um... so, food?” tenma spoke up after an eternity of making excuses. you two quickly moved to the line of movie snacks, using candy and popcorn to substitue the suddenly awkward silence

when tenma ordered all your favorites without even asking, he turned around with the selection only to close his eyes and internalize every single thing he was feeling because there he was, his worst enemy

jun entered from a side door, most likely finishing up helping the crew with set-up (and 30 minutes early as usual) before catching tenma’s iconic bright orange hair, a grin lighting up his face

“tenma! it’s me, jun!” he said, as if they weren’t the two main leads of japan’s most famous drama so far. immediately, your smile matched jun’s as you watched as your favorite actor of all time make his way towards you two

“jun... of course you’d be here.” tenma said through gritted teeth, forcing a pleasant smile even with an armful of junk

“ah, still keeping the bad boy attitude? we’re off set now, you can stop method acting now.” jun joked, bringing his attention to you with a dazzling smile that would absolutely make any fansite’s career

“oh? who is this, a friend of yours?” tenma tried not to sigh so loud when you couldn’t help yourself and burst into a long rant about how amazing jun was. tenma waited until you reached your midpoint and stopped you with a quick nudge, trying not to scream (could jun stop being so... perfect? could you stop being so cute?!)

when tenma introduced you, he stood a little closer as he tried to maintain his jealousy. “they’re my date, by the way.” no one had asked, but tenma was clearly telling anyone who was around you two had gone together

jun’s eyes lit up in recognition as he let out a noise of surprise. “ah~ so this is who you—”

tenma didn’t regret losing his giant popcorn so fast to a co-star who could only be silenced with food. his wallet could afford another one, anyways. his pride on the other hand? could not let you know his acting secret already

“what was jun going to say?” you asked after you two departed for the viewing room. tenma nonchalantly pretended like everything was okay as he guided you to front row

“probably something about the fact you’re the one who always interrupts our scenes.”

“hey! my texts make your day, don’t lie!”

“go sit down and eat already, jeez.”

when it began, your eyes couldn’t leave the screen. it was better than you could have imagined. everything was perfect, it exceeded the standards of even the toughest fans out there. you loved every second of it... except...

tenma was too good at being chan. even with his bright hair, the dark clothes he wore made him appear intimidating, with his sharp eyes and even sharper smirk. chan’s appearance was tough, rough, and mean, everything tenma wasn’t

yet, you still couldn’t help but feel your heart sink when chan was clearly in love with yuri. yuri was one of your favorite characters by far, but she ended up bothering you for the entireity of the episode

especially every time she shared a scene (which were many times) with chan. chan was revealed to be a bad boy with a heart of gold, all with a special soft side for yuri

what was this feeling? were you... no, you couldn’t be! after all, you had never seen tenma that way before, right? yet, every time chan made an exception for yuri, you felt sick to your stomach

was it possible that tenma liked the actress who played yuri? you snuck a glance at tenma, only to see he was looking at you already (he’d never admit it, but he was watching your reactions to see if he made you proud. yet, every time you saw him, you subconsciously frowned)

were you not proud of him? did you not like his performance as chan?

before tenma could ask you, the scene changed into one of chan’s. he was standing outside in the school uniform, his head ducked as he swiped through yuri’s social media. before he could look up, yuri jumped in front of him with a teasing smile

“roar!” she called out, referring to their inside joke earlier in the episode. yuri cutely bounced back with another roar, holding her hands up like paws. chan watched, his typical rock-hard expression breaking to reveal his developing feelings for yuri

later on, chan stopped yuri in the hallway, other students watching as the school’s bad boy and goddess interact

“do that again.” chan demanded to which yuri innocently tilted her head, confused like a little puppy. “do what?” “that... that thing.” when chan roared, tenma sunk into his seat with an embarrassed defense and explanation ready. but, when he looked, you finally cracked a laugh at his little roar

your smile only fell when yuri roared again as a joke, but chan smiled for once. tenma wondered why... he thought you would be so happy to be here with him. maybe, he’d never be better than jun...

when the episode ended, it took a moment before you stood up and clapped. tenma followed along, but all he could think about was how he let you down. not only as chan, but as your boy, too

when you two left the room, you two hung back to watch as everyone congratulated one another on the success of the production. in the midst of the cheer and celebration, tenma felt small as he watched your blank expression

what did he do wrong? he put his best efforts into every scene; he might even say it was his best work yet. before he could apologize, you did the unthinkable: you roared

you jumped up into his face, holding your hands up like yuri did. when yuri did it, tenma didn’t feel a thing. but, when you did, tenma felt it. the butterflies fluttered in his stomach as he stared at you, frozen in place

“this is the part where you ask me to do it again.” you shyly trailed off, about to put your hands down before tenma weakly put his hands up, knowing he was about to regret his next move (if the embarrassment didn’t kill him, he didn’t know what would)

“roar!”

that was too loud, wasn’t it? the room suddenly went a lot more quiet as they turned their attention towards a teen actor roaring at his date

“yah! why didn’t you ask me the next line?”

“b-because... i know i like you even without you doing, that, again.”

you paused, taken back by his honesty. as tenma contemplated just falling onto the floor right then and there, you suddenly hardened your expression, standing up straighter with your arms crossed

“do that again.”

“do what?”

“that thing.”

when tenma roared again, much quieter this time, you nodded as you finally smiled genuinely for the first time ever since that episode started

“good, i know how chan feels now. i like you, too.”

“does that mean i’m your favorite actor now?”

(when jun released a video of tenma roaring online, he captioned it with “ROAR = ILY!!!” tenma realized maybe he wasn’t all that bad, but still)

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 27

First time reader click here

TWs/Summary: If you read carefully, you knew this; if you didn't: reader was drugged at the party. Hangover from Hell ft. boys being cute, Loki being best friend material and reader fully integrating him into the Gen-Z community via Monster energy drinks and depressive music whilst being sad. I live for Loki/reader friendship tbh.

So folks, this is the last big plot thing before the endgame. I reckon it's about 10-15 chapters left until out happy ending and the next bit is going to focus on developing reader's and Stephen's relationship. There will be smutty parts too - either chapters or interludes, idk, depending on how well they'll integrate into the story.

I love y'all.

Ow, was my first thought upon waking up. My head throbbed something fierce, the pressure behind my eyelids was unbearable and my mouth tasted like a bog on a sunny summer's day. I was warm, from both sides, and one of the bodies felt foreign in everything besides the smell - sandalwood leaked through the lead curtain of alcohol and sex.

Needless to say, I had trouble piecing together the fine details of last night but had enough coherence to remember our... Activities. I was sore and Strange's long arm was still possessively draped over both me and Tony. The luck was on my side as I carefully wiggled out of his grasp, padding to the bedroom on quiet feet. The sorcerer barely moved, only grumbling briefly at the loss of my warmth and immediately quieting, shamelessly snuggling into Tony.

I would have not exaggerated if I said it was the worst hangover of my life. It was baffling, really, because I'd gone way wilder and didn't suffer half as much after effects; my first attempt to brush my teeth ended with my face resting against the toilet bowl, my empty stomach rejecting what little liquid in it was left as the room spun on its axis. That was incredibly embarrassing and I hoped my boys wouldn't wake up to witness my best impression of a bum - and they didn't, both men still sound asleep and interwined like snakes when I put on the shirt closest to me and departed in search of coffee.

My mood only worsened. Steve and Bucky were already up, shoveling an impressive amount of eggs and bacon, as Bucky quietly teased Steve about his own hangover. The blonde man was slightly greenish, disheveled - we traded equally glum looks and nodded to each other in silence. The smell of food made my stomach churn and I retreated, one black coffee in hand, towards Bruce's lab, having been informed by Friday that neither Tony not Stephen planned on waking up.

"Morning, Princess," Bruce smiled kindly, pushing his glasses out of the way to hold me close and give me a sweet kiss. "Had fun? The boys still asleep?"

I giggled at Bruce calling Tony and Stephen boys. "Yeah. I wouldn't be wearing Stephen's shirt if he was up and about, I think." I pointed out the obvious.

Bruce chuckled, holding my face to give me a long, thoughtful look. I stared back, hoping convey my respect and adoration without having to say a word; like Tony, I wasn't particularly apt when it came to talking feelings. Whatever Bruce was looking for, he found it, and sealed it with another kiss, twice as long and twice as sweet. We stood like that, my head on his shoulder and my arms firmly holding him to myself, until the elevator dinged behind the glass wall, revealing a shirtless Stephen and Tony in his pajama pants, both men bickering animatedly.

"Aw shit, here we go again," I rolled my eyes, unhappy about the possibility of the magic being broken. I rather preferred all three men to be like yesterday: friendly, kind and relaxed.

"I will kick them out if I have to," Bruce shrugged, turning me around to face them.

Tony smiled, seeing me, stopping mid-conversation. "Princess, I am disappointed in your lack of manners. You left me with Merlin and he is mean." The engineer unceremoniously snatched me from Bruce and smooched me, hangover breath and all.

"Gross, Tony," I rolled my eyes, giving the man a light shove in the chest. "Morning, Steph," I addressed the third man who had gone back to his usual stoic expression. Just to see his resolve crack, because I loved pushing his buttons, I gave him a good morning kiss too, and was unexpectedly blown away by the eager response from his side. As I pulled back, I noticed his cheeks dusting a light pink.

"I came to get my shirt but I think you'd rather keep it," The sorcerer's fingers caressed my skin beneath the collar of his shirt, voice still low and scratchy from sleep and those magnetic eyes fixated on the exposed flesh of my chest, no trace of previous awkwardness.

"You sure 'bout that?" I pushed one of the sides off, exposing my shoulder, seeing Tony gulp the remainder of my coffee, one hand already messing with the screen that Bruce was focused on. "I think I look better without it," I would never miss an opportunity to tease the uptight man.

"Quite," He grinned, "It's a shame I didn't get to see much last night..." Two could play this game, okay.

"Oh, but you will," Tony piped up suddenly, a hint of smugness in his voice barely covered by Bruce's fond chuckle. I really didn't know what to say, suddenly overwhelmed with the attention, my emotions amplified by the hangover - party drugs tended to exaggerate my anxiety on the comedown.

And what a comedown it was. My social energy ran out very quickly so I complained about a nasty headache and retreated into my room, Bruce's gentle hands pressing a bottle of Ibuprofen into my own. Despite my attempts to tame my rioting body, it got worse before it got better and shortly before lunch, I had thrown up twice more. Pissed off, I ran a bath with cold water and sat in it until I felt somewhat human to prepare myself for a journey to Wanda's apartment - as a last resort, I was going to chug on of Pietro's Monster energy drinks that I knew he kept hidden there.

The retrieval was a success. Cans securely hidden in the kangaroo pocket of Tony's oversized hoodie I had thrown on, I had to make a haste detour to throw up once again - the closest bathroom was in Loki's apartment and I only managed to knock twice before throwing open the door and making a mad dash for the porcelain throne, a very confused Asgardian following my movements with raised eyebrows.

"Hangover from Hell," I croaked once the first wave subsided. Loki nodded in understanding, waved a hand to summon me a water bottle and shut the door behind himself.

As I sat there, desperately trying to understand why was I feeling like utter shit... It clicked. Bile rose to my throat once again, and I just dry heaving, mulling my revelation over and over again.

I didn't take any drugs. I had been drugged. My memories became hazy and dream-like shortly after someone had given me the drink... Someone, who? It was a split-second moment; Sam, even in his drunk state, didn't keep his eyes off me for too long. Maybe it had been someone the team knew? Possibilities began playing out in my head. Cursed was my overactive brain - the anxiety from the leftover drugs was making me panic.

"Fuck, FUCK," My hands shook - I only noticed it because I had spilled water on myself, adding cold and wet to the unpleasant sensations I was already experiencing. "Why am I such a fucking fuck-up." Taking a drink from a stranger seemed downright idiotic now. Middle school bullshit.

"Are you alright?" Loki's worried voice interrupted my inner monologue.

"Yes," I replied, voice cracking. "No. I don't fucking know."

The door all but flew open, the Asgardian taking several long strides to take a good long look at me. The frown on his face tells me all I needed to know about my physical and mental state.

A slender hand tucked a stray lock of hair behind my ear. "What happened?"

I laughed tersely, feeling tears to begin welling in the corners of my eyes. "I'm an idiot," Seeing his face get annoyed briefly, I conceded: "I got drugged yesterday. My drink."

The hand that he had slid between my shoulder blades froze. I felt his whole body go rigid and his nostrils flare, the smell of ozone and something foreign - magic - filling the small space. The air around us became charged with the power of his anger. "Pardon?" His voice was dangerously quiet.

I physically fought with the need to flinch away from him, settling for lowering my eyes and staring at the dark stain on my hoodie. "I got carried away dancing. Someone handed me a drink and my stupid ass just shotgunned it," I confessed, picking at the wet spot. "And I can't tell anybody because I had a threesome with Stephen and Tony," I suddenly realised, my voice raising in pitch. "They're gonna think I didn't want it and feel bad. You know how Tony blames himself for everything under the sun..." Another wave of dizziness and nausea hit me as I leaned against the wall closest to me.

"Alright," Loki conceded after a brief pause. "We absolutely are telling the others. I'll make sure they understand," The Asgardian stated firmly in a tone that bore no argument. Seeing me lift my head to protest, he interrupted me before I could say anything: "Did you... Did you want it?" He asked me, hooking a single finger under my chin to look me in the eye.

I nodded, feeling my face heat up.

"You're not lying. The team knows of my ability to detect lies. Nobody will blame anyone..." Loki trailed off, obviously already plotting something. I wished it were a prank both of us were conspiring on instead of... Trying to make sense of this cluster fuck of a shit show. The circus called, they seemed to have left their clowns behind. "Although I will have a word with Sam." The Asgardian muttered darkly.

"No, it's not his fault. I just got too relaxed, I need to pucker up and be responsible for myself," I protested, damn well knowing it wasn't the Bird's fault. Everyone was drunk and I should've known better.

"It's not yours either," Loki sneered, seeing right through my self-loathing. It took a deep, slow sigh for him to calm down. His expression softened and the hand that was on my back resumed the gentle stroking as he scooted closer to me to press my side against his chest. "Vile people of this kind aren't exclusive to Midgard. It could have happened to anyone."

I nodded, my logical part briefly taking over as the waves of nausea and dizziness waned. I stifled a giggle, coming to another sudden revelation. "You holding up my hair as I barf out my hangover? That makes you qualified for the position of my Best Friend," I stated with a snort.

Loki chuckled, relaxing bit by bit. "I accept the position," His voice was unusually soft and a little bit shaky; I chose to tactfully ignore it. "Shall I call for assembly in the war room?"

I sighed, the dread and anxiety creeping it's way back in. "Can we just... Wait a bit? I have something- hold on-" I rummaged around my pocket, taking out two cans of Monster. Loki eyed them curiously and I extended one to him. "It probably won't do much for you but for me it's a last-resort hangover cure." I popped open the metal cap, seeing him do the same. "Be warned though, it tastes kinda funky if you're not used to it," I announced the disclaimer but it simply egged Loki on.

The scrunched up face he made was pretty funny. "It's sour but sickeningly sweet at the same time? I can't tell," He briefly eyed the written ingredients on the can.

"There are a bunch of flavors. Pietro likes the plain one, I like the purple one better, it's not so tongue-burning." I paused to inhale loudly. "If this is what college life looks like, I don't want to go," Mustering up my courage and gathering my balls in a knot, with one broad motion I closed my nose and poured the carbonated acid down my throat until my eyes watered. "Gimme a minute," I hiccuped, trying to keep it down.

Wide-eyed, Loki took a chaste sip of his own drink, eyeing me warily. He looked part impressed part disgusted with the little stunt. "I am pretty certain that is counter-productive."

"Caffeine make brain and body go skrrt," I argued back. "Friday, play my "grant me the sweet release of death" playlist. I'm upset," I announced and the AI obliged silently, the first notes of Placebo's 'Exit Wounds' beginning to play. If I was going to mop in a stranger's bathroom, I was going to do it with style. Even if said style was just simply stealing in my own misery with emo background music.

Loki stared at me, I stared back, both of us lost in our respective minds. At one point, he began swaying to the music slightly, resting the cool tin of the can against his cheek; I followed suit, mouthing along to some of the lyrics. It took us about a dozen songs to finally finish the liquid acid that was Monster energy drink and my ass felt like the bathroom tile itself: flat and hard.

"Do you ever feel like the universe just hates you for no fucking reason?" I groused, taking Loki's outstretched hand and slowly feeling the blood rush back to my legs.

"You wouldn't believe," He rolled his eyes in solidarity, vanishing away the empty containers. "Norns, give me a Hel-damned break."

I laced his arm through mine as we exited his apartment, feeling considerably less upset than I was before. I couldn't protect myself, but one look at Loki's sullen, irritated expression was bound to scare off anyone who dared to interrupt our mission.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit ​ @littlegasps ​ @pilloclock ​ @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads ​ @hermione-grangers-wife ​ @individualistfem ​ @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby @cutenessloading @romeo-the-cactus @jelly-fishy-babie @mikariell95

[kpopmakesmequestionmylifechoices]

Kingdom Round 3, pt. 2: How to discourage idols and kill versatility in K-pop - a guide by "experts".

As in my last post I'll talk about my thoughts on the performances, but mostly I'll question the freaking ranking because wth those experts should really reveal themselves at this point (I'm salty). Anyways, let's get into it.

1. A small "disappointment" and two big surprises.

ATEEZ: Oh guys the beginning made me emotional because it reminded me hardcore of Block B Very Good hahaha. Generally I must say, ATEEZ rearrangements are always good. It just sounded very ATEEZ-ish, and that's cool. I personally prefer the original Rhythm Ta over the rearrangement tho. About the performance, I don't have any criticism I think. I personally found that rope scene a bit strange tho, and overall I just wasn't impressed by that stage. Possibly because nothing can top the Symphony Nr.9 for me hahaha.

BTOB: First of all, SKZ X BTOB interactions are peak comedy I loved this so much. Minhyuk fangirling on SKZ back door stage is me tho. And "Kingdom is 15+ right?" Oh man I love those dudes.

About the concept, totally loved it because it was super fun to watch. I was worried beforehand because I couldn't imagine anyone pulling off SKZ' powerful rap. They didn't tho. They did it their own way and I was surprised. The meaning change to a more uh...mature sorta concept was also quite interesting. The moment Eunkwang knocked and opened the door: chefkiss. Those lyrics? Rude but chefkiss. I in general really liked the rearrangement, but in the end it lost its power a bit. Maybe also because I have the original Back Door burned into my brain and the ending just rocks af. But honestly, my brain also was fried by THIS:

[*my edit/gif - I made a full gifset in that style now]

Stray Kids: I must say, I was a bit scared before because anyone having to do a BTOB cover must have absolutely stable vocals. This was the stage I was most concerned about when I heard about the song choices. Without a reason. Because SKZ absolutely killed it. Sure, I.N didn't hit that note as it was planned but let me tell you, it didn't affect my enjoyment of this stage at all. The stage setting? Fantastic. Changbin's rap sounded as if he's in utter pain and despair, Felix added to that with his hyper low tone part which was ABSOLUTELY cool. This was just great, full of feels, and I have NO criticism, bye.

Recap: When thinking about the past 6 performances, I feel that ATEEZ and iKON did the best job with making the others' song their own. In my eyes, SF9 and TBZ both stayed in their comfort zone with their song choices, while BTOB and SKZ took on the extreme challenge to pick songs that are basically the opposite of what they usually do. As I Iove versatility and surprises, SKZ and BTOB have a special place in my heart with those two stages.

Hence, my personal ranking looks as follows:

1. BTOB & SKZ (tied): For me those were the biggest surprises and caused the biggest enjoyment and entertainment for me. If I HAD TO choose a first place, I'd pick BTOB - because Back Door is one of my FAVOURITE songs of all time, and solely evaluating the songs, I heavily prefer Back Door over I'll be your man. Anyways, with that ranking, SKZ jumped from my personal lowest rank in the first round to my personal highest rank.

2. SF9: After seeing SF9's stage last week, I was sure that I'll have them as #1 in today's post. I loved everything about the performance (besides the weird gun dance sry), and I especially loved how they stepped up their game without making the perfomance too huge and too overwhelming. Nevertheless, due to the fact they stayed pretty close to their usual style, I'll rank them 2nd because I was more impressed by the others' style change.

3. iKON / ATEEZ: The performances were good, but to me personally they were absolutely not memorable. It's a matter of taste after all.

4. TBZ: I know, I again rank them last. And again, no I don't hate them. I simply neither am touched by their stages, nor do I understand their plots. So I once again rank them last. I don't find their performances bad tho, because as all groups, they're doing an amazing job. The stages are simply not my cup of tea.

2. Oh you prove that you're a versatile artist? That must be punished!

↑ That's how I imagine the experts' thoughts. Expert ranking was as follows: ATEEZ / TBZ / iKON / SF9 / BTOB / SKZ.

Okay I must say. Which freaking expert would place SKZ last??? I'm not biased in the slightest, if I'm biased then for SF9 and BTOB, but bruh. SKZ last? That's like, ridiculous. Considering the immense challenge SKZ had from switching from their usual style to freaking I'll be your man?

I don't know man, I can't take this ranking seriously. I really wish we'd know what the criteria is...It's a mystery to me how this could happen. Those boys get punished for stepping out of their comfort zone and doing an amazing job? Literally same story with BTOB. Both groups completely stepped outta their comfort zone and that's what they got for it...Well done, experts, well done. This is how you destroy versatility in K-pop, but sure, go on.

Honestly at this point I hope stays and melodies work together to catapult both groups up in the ranking because this is just utter nonsense...

3. Ya all groups, why don't you support your exchange partners :')))))))

↑ This is me hysterically laughing and crying at the same time at the fact that they don't vote for each other. Groups' ranking was as follows: ATEEZ / SF9 / BTOB / iKON / SKZ / TBZ.

Honestly my only explanation for this result is that the groups don't vote for those people they see as their biggest opponents? It's weird man. I personally for example don't understand why the groups which exchange songs don't vote for each other? None of the performances was bad, and I think it's low-key a matter of respect to give the group you exchanged songs with one of your votes? Because after all they tried their best to present your song in a presentable way even tho it's not their own? Idk man. I don't like this weird feeling of "hostility". But might only be my own feeling idk hahahahaha.

Honestly I wish we'd get to see the groups' evaluation and reasoning behind their choices...

That was it from my side this week...As always, thanks for reading! As for next episode, I'm super excited to see proper interactions and them finally having fun...ouf and after all those years Minhyuk going back to vault jumping I'm hyped hahahah. And now I'll go rewatch SKZ and BTOB lol.

[creambunnie]

Once Again📖

ONEWE - Kanghyun x Y/N (angst)

enjoy!

From : Kang Pingu 🐧

- if you are done taking pictures with your family and friends, meet me in the classroom for a bit♡ -

you grinned when you received his message and excused yourself from your parents and friends before heading towards the classroom of the last year of your highschool life.

it was finally your graduation day and Hyungu planned to celebrate together after celebrating with your families respectively.

you arrived at the classroom but no one was there. you pouted and decided to wait by sitting on one of the desks. you scanned the classroom for the last time, absorbing every single detail of the place where you created bittersweet memories with your classmates. it was also the place where Hyungu confessed about his feelings to you.

you smiled widely as you recalled his bold yet funny confession. he put up a brave front but was actually so nervous that when you responded back to his feelings, he fell down because his knees got weak. your friends were quite worried when they heard you started dating Hyungu. well, Hyungu did not really have a good reputation, among the students and the teachers.

but you ensured your friends that you would be careful and that you were sure Hyungu was serious about your relationship.

you snapped out of your thoughts and decided to wait for Hyungu at the door. you peeked out to see if your boyfriend was already on his way to the classroom, but instead, a couple caught your eyes.

they were at the staircase, the girl was backfacing you so you did not see her face. the boy's head was also tilted to the side so his face was blocked too.

"oooh, a new couple? but really? at the stairs? i wonder who that guy is, he looks super familiar." you thought and was about to give the 'couple' their private space when the boy straightened up, revealing none other than Kang Hyungu. he smiled at the girl and stayed for a while as the girl patted his head before walking down the stairs towards your classroom.

you blinked a few times as you tried to process what you just witnessed. you felt your heart squeezed in pain as tears started flowing down your cheeks.

"did... did i just jinxed myself?". you mumbled to yourself. you quickly took your bag and wanted to leave quickly but Hyungu was faster.

he opened the door with a big smile but it quickly turned into worry when he saw you crying. "babe? what happened?". he asked softly as he approached you.

you avoided him and was about to exit the classroom when Hyungu grabbed your wrist as he balanced the box he was carrying with his other hand and his body.

"babe, what happened??". he asked again.

you sniffed and pulled your hand away. "you, all these while i thought you changed. but i was wrong. you are still the same playboy Kang Hyungu. old habits die hard, huh? you came here late because you were having a fun time with another girl? i should have listened to my friends. dating you was a mistake,".

Hyungu frowned, confused about what you were talking about.

"huh? what do you mean? i was late because i was preparing my presents for you,". Hyungu explained.

you frowned deeper at his words. "i saw everything, Hyungu. you don't have to lie! if i am not a good partner, then just tell me that, no need to cheat behind me, just break up with me!".

Hyungu was confused at your sudden burst of anger. "but you're the only one that i like! have you seen me flirting with others when i started dating you?".

you rolled your eyes and glared at him. "i wouldn't know, you might have done it when i'm not around!".

Hyungu sighed and ruffled his hair in frustration. "do you not trust me?". he asked.

"no, i don't.". you replied without hesitation. you gulped your pain when you see the hurt in his eyes.

"look into my eyes and tell me that you didn't feel any sincerity from me in these 5 months that we've been together." Hyungu asked with teary eyes.

your heart felt so painful. but you had to do what was best for you. you promised your friends to be careful so you were going to keep that promise.

"it must have been fun playing with me, right? just like how you played with other girls. i really thought i was the special person who could change you. but i was being pathetic. i'm just an idiot who fell for the school's infamous playboy.".

a tear finally fell on Hyungu's cheek. he was hurt. extremely hurt. he then stretched his arm to give you the box that he had been carrying since just now.

"i want to give some presents to congratulate you for graduation. please accept them." he managed to whisper.

you frowned at his sudden change of topic and slapped his hands away together with the box.

you heard something broke when the box made contact with the hard ground. if you didn't know any better, you would have thought that you just heard your heart shattered.

Hyungu froze on his spot as he stared at the box. you quickly ran out of the classroom before you softened back up for your ex.

and that was the last time you met Hyungu before the both of you moved on with your lives. you remembered to quickly block Hyungu's number and blocked him on every social medias that you had. you didn't want anything to do with him anymore.

you were embarrassed of yourself. you were so proud when you started dating Hyungu, you were so confident that he was serious about you. but at the end, it was just your imagination. he didn't change at all.

~4 years later~

after graduating from high school, you got accepted into your dream university and studied in Japan for 4 years majoring in journalism. writing has been your hobby since you were little and aiming to be a well-known journalist was your ambition.

it was not easy to leave things back at your home country behind you especially after getting your heart broken so harshly on your graduation day. but you believed working hard towards your dream was a good way to distract yourself from all the unnecessary drama.

you focused on school and excelled all your semesters. you became the best student and was given the honour of being the valedictorian of your cohort.

it was finally time for you to come home to your family. they did visit you a few times when you were in Japan, but the feeling of coming back home was different.

From : Yubi❤

-you're back in South Korea?! great timing, our class reunion is next Saturday. you better come after skipping 4 years of our reunion dinner !!! we all miss you🥺-

you sighed as you read the message from your close friend. you were not really someone who likes to socialise with others, it's true they were your highschool classmates, but it had been years since you've met them. you might be awkward.

From : Yubi❤

-if you even think of skipping, i'm gonna drag you out of your house😠-

you chuckled and rolled your eyes.

To : Yubi❤

-okay okay, i will come, just text me the venue when it's confirmed.-

you scanned the huge hotel and took a deep breath before walking through the grand entrance. "wow they must be rich to book such a fancy place." you mumbled as you went to the customer service counter to ask for the room number that was booked for your class dinner.

as the staff was looking through the lists, you couldn't help but check out the beautiful architecture. your gaze fell to the floor as you realised that each tile had a different design. "wow, this hotel is totally on another level.". you whispered as you analysed them one by one.

a pair of pink shoes stopped walking and caught your eyes. you raised an eyebrow and looked up slowly to see the owner of the pink shoes.

your breath hitched. you made eye contact with the person. the person's eyes widened as he saw you. just as he was about to walk towards you, a lady grabbed him by his arm and dragged him away, she probably didn't notice you who were a few metres away.

"oi Kanghyun!! will you hurry up and walk? they're all waiting for us in the room already!!". the lady called the person by his nickname.

your thoughts were interrupted when the staff tapped your shoulder gently. "your room number is 3. i will bring you there". you nodded and bowed slightly to thank the staff.

you were now in front of the room. loud excited voices could be heard from the inside. *such youthful energy* you thought and knocked on the door before opening it slowly.

the previous noise quietened down at your entrance. you were frozen at the door. *w--why are they staring at me*. you smiled awkwardly and waved your hand at them.

"hi?". the second you greeted, your former classmates cheered and some even ran to you and gave you hugs and pats. "y/n!! we missed you so much!" "y/n! you are finally home!" "welcome back!!" "how was school in Japan?".

"there there guys, y/n needs to sit first at least. your questions can wait. the evening is still young!". Yubi came to your rescue. you gave her a grateful smile. Yubi smiled back and hugged you tightly. "welcome back!!".

you caught up with your friends. some were working full time at big companies, some were getting engaged, some just finished their studies, like you. you were engrossed in your conversation when a word, or a name, from the table next to you caught your ear.

"Kang Hyungu, how many girlfriends have you had in uni? still a playboy aren't you?" one of the boys joked.

your hand curled up into a fist. you were about to shoot the other table a glare when the lady who dragged Hyungu earlier defended him.

"this guy? trust me, he never dated anyone after highschool. he focused on his studies and never looked at girls. he rejected everyone who confessed to him. i was shocked too, you know being his classmate in highschool and seeing his abrupt change in uni, a whole new experience."

your former classmates widened their eyes as they looked at Hyungu, who was eating silently. his composure was still as cool and cold as ever.

"you are kidding !! he couldn't even be single for a week back then! what do you mean he never dated after highschool?".

the lady, Ara, nodded her head and sighed. "i don't know who broke his heart so bad he didn't even want to date or befriend other girls. that's why i'm stuck to his side." Ara explained and knocked Hyungu's head. Hyungu pouted and rubbed his head as he looked up.

after eavesdropping the conversation, you were surprised too. you turned to look into the direction of his table and saw his pouty face. you gulped. "cute..." you mumbled and quickly turned away when the both of you accidentally made your second eye contact for today.

you almost forgot he was your former classmate too, of course he would be here. you were just too busy with your close friends that you didn't realise his presence earlier.

from your peripheral vision, you sensed Hyungu still staring at you. after a few seconds, you finally let out the breath you were holding in unconciously when you see him turn his head away.

"bye bye y/n!! see you again soon!!" Yubi bid you goodbye as her boyfriend came to pick her up. you waved back at her and waited by the entrance for your ride.

"y/n?". you felt your head tingled as you heard a familiar gentle voice calling your name. you looked up from your phone only to be greeted by none other than Kang Hyungu.

"Hyu--Hyungu... it's been a while". you managed to breathe out.

Hyungu gave a small smile and nodded.

it was awkward. after all, you separated on bad terms and never contacted each other ever since.

Hyungu moved closer to you. his expression looked sad yet happy.

"can i hug you?". Hyungu suddenly asked. you bit your lips. you hesitated before nodding slightly. letting him hug you won't hurt, right?

wrong.

when his arms wrapped around you, your emotions from 4 years ago surged up again. his gentle yet tight hug. his warm scent. his soft face buried into the crook of your neck.

you were frozen. everything was too overwhelming.

"i mis--" Hyungu's words were interrupted when someone called out your name.

you snapped out of your zone and gently pulled yourself away from Hyungu. Hyungu let you go hesitantly as he wiped his teary eyes and looked at the person who called your name.

"ah Harin!! did you wait for long?" you approached the person earlier and patted his shoulder. Harin shook his head and looked at Hyungu.

you thought it was only right to introduce them to each other. "Harin, this is my former classmate, Kang Hyungu, and Hyungu, this is Ju Harin, we went to the same university". Hyungu gulped and bowed slightly towards Harin.

"ni--nice to meet you. thank you for taking care of y/n! i--i should excuse myself now.". Hyungu said as he quickly left you and Harin. Harin shrugged his shoulders and led you to his car.

~

it had been so long since you came back home, you finally had the time to walk around your neighbourhood. you realised that in the span of 4 years, alot of things could change. you continued walking in the homey streets until you reached your favourite bookshop. you smiled widely and quickly entered it. you were happy the shop was still there.

your body automatically brought you over to the comics section. you enjoyed all sorts of genres but comics were your stress reliever. your eyes widened at some new collections.

"ooh, this one looks interesting". you mumbled as you picked up the new crime comic. "that one is good, you should read it". you jumped at the sudden voice beside your ear.

you quickly turned to your side. Hyungu backed away abit and gave a cheeky smile.

"wh-what are you doing here?". you asked abit too loud than usual because you were shocked. Hyungu blinked and chuckled with a pfft.

"i am here to buy some books, then i saw you looking at that good comic so i decided to greet you. yo!".

you nodded awkwardly and wanted to walk away but Hyungu's words stopped you.

"you know, i can suggest you other new good comics that will surely suit your taste!". you bit your lip and shook your head. "it's okay, i just wanted to look around. thanks for your offer". you bowed and quickly walked away.

Hyungu watched your back moved away from him. his shoulders dropped as he pouted. *did i scare her away?* he thought as he went to the cashier to pay for his books.

you felt blood rushing to your face as you exited the shop. you totally forgot that Hyungu also regularly visits that shop. heck, it used to be one of the places where you always went to during your dates.

despite his bad boy image, Hyungu was surprisingly an avid reader. he always had the best recommendations. you were tempted by his offer but you thought it was weird to suddenly be close again with him.

your mood was abit down after the encounter as old memories came flooding back to your mind. *ah, i thought 4 years were enough to forget about him. but meeting him twice right after coming back like this is not helping at all* you thought as you walked back home.

~

you tapped your foot on the ground, following the rythm of the song that you were listening to as you waited for Harin in the mall.

you planned to meet up at 2pm but he was abit late so you waited for him inside since the weather was hot.

"we meet again!" you heard as you felt one of your earpiece being pulled out softly. you jumped and turned only to be greeted by none other than, you guessed it, Kang Hyungu.

you frowned and took out your other earpiece. "at this rate, i feel like you're stalking me". Hyungu chuckled and shook his head. "no no, i was here since morning, i had some stuff to do, and then i saw you here alone".

"i'm actually waiting for Harin. ugh why is he so late? i'm hungry.."

when he heard the name, Hyungu's smile was gone. his current expression was unreadable. "oh, well then, i will wait here with you". you let Hyungu be as you scanned the crowd for Harin.

"how was Japan?".

"it was great and refreshing. school was okay too, abit hard but i survived. how about you? you graduated from uni too right recently?". Hyungu nodded.

"i started working at the music shop here, today is actually my off day but i had to fix some things so yeah.."

your mouth turned into an "O" shape as you heard him. he was very interested and quite talented in music back in highschool, it was not a surprise for him to pursue something related to music.

Hyungu saw a familiar face among the crowd. "oh there's H--" he cut his own words when he saw a lady beside Harin, her arm linked with Harin's.

*he is late because he is with another girl? he is cheating on y/n at the place that they're meeting up at?? how dare he?* Hyungu thought as he tried to block your view from Harin. *i gotta protect y/n*.

"yo y/n!! y/n?" Hyungu heard Harin's voice but he still stood in front of you, blocking Harin from seeing you.

you frowned and gently pushed Hyungu aside. "oh Harin! you are finally here!!!" you slapped Harin's arm and quickly turned to the lady beside him.

"Dani!!! you are here too!" you greeted and hugged the lady. Dani hugged you back and passed something to you. "i'm sorry,,, i misplaced the souvenier i bought you so Harin had to search for it with me, that's why we were late.". you cooed at Dani and patted her head. "aww it's okay, thank you for the gift!".

Hyungu looked at the scene with a confused look. you finally remembered him being there and introduced him to Dani. "Dani, this is Hyungu, my former highschool classmate, Hyungu, this is Dani, my former housemate back in Japan!".

Hyungu frowned. *Harin is cheating on y/n with her former housemate?!?!*.

"oii mr boyfriend, where are we going to eat at?". Dani turned to Harin and asked.

Hyungu's eyes widened. *huh???huh???*

"you and y/n are not dating each other?" Hyungu blurted out as he pointed towards you and Harin.

you and Harin looked at each other and shivered in disgust at the same time. "never!! why would you even think that?!" you asked. Harin quickly wrapped his arm around Dani and shook his head. "Dani is the only one for me".

"then why did he pick you up the other night?".

you bursted a pfft, Hyungu's face was hilarious. he was furious and confused at the same time.

"the three of us had plans after my dinner, so Harin picked me up. Dani was in the car too. Harin, being the gentleman he is, volunteered to escort me personally to the car".

Dani couldn't help but laugh too. you were the one who introduced her to Harin anyways, it was funny to think that someone misunderstood Harin and your relationship.

"ok that aside, let's go eat, i'm so hungryy" you whined and linked your arms with Harin and Dani. Hyungu's eyes twitched when he saw how comfortable you were with Harin.

"Hyungu should join us too!! the more the merrier!" Dani invited Hyungu. Hyungu was about to reject but seeing your flustered expression, he quickly accepted the invitation. he kind of missed seeing this side of you.

you ended up walking beside Hyungu while the lovely couple led the way to Harin's recommended restaurant.

the walk was quiet between the two of you. Hyungu felt abit guilty for being selfish, he accepted the invitation, totally ignoring your feelings.

"if you don't want me to join, i can back away now." Hyungu said. you quickly shook your head and unconciously tugged his sleeve. "i don't mind.. please join us". Hyungu grinned at your response. "alright, i will stay".

as you arrived at the restaurant, Dani excused herself to the bathroom. you decided to help Harin with the orders while Hyungu reserved a table for the four of you. the other reason you volunteered to help was so that you didn't have to be alone with Hyungu.

Dani came back from the bathroom and went to Hyungu. "oh y/n is helping Harin? then i will sit here and chat with you!".

Hyungu gave a small smile. he was still abit awkward around other girls if he was alone. "Hyungu, you like y/n don't you?" Dani attacked with an innocent smile.

Hyungu was taken aback but nodded anyways. like was an understatement. you were in his mind every second for the whole 4 years, meeting you once again made his dull world colourful again.

Dani giggled and poked Hyungu's arm. "you are so obvious. don't worry, i will help you!" Dani winked and quickly backed away when you and Harin came with your food. Hyungu pursed his lips into a thin line. he didn't know what Dani was up to.

you sat beside Dani, acrossed from Hyungu. you focused on your food and Dani, trying your best not to stare at the handsome Hyungu.

"so y/n, do you have anyone you like now?" Dani randomly asked you. your hand paused from picking up food for abit before chuckling awkwardly. "hahaha what a question, Dani. hmm i don't think i like anyone now". you swore your voice was trembling.

Dani smirked slightly at your response and was about to turn to Hyungu when Harin chirped into the conversation. "eh? how about that Jungwoo guy? don't you have a crush on him?".

you gulped as you felt your whole face became warm. "Ju-Jungwoo? he is cute, but i just admire him from afar. i don't like like him..."

Harin raised an eyebrow. "really? then why are you so emba--" his words were cut off when Dani kicked his leg under the table. she signalled him towards Hyungu and widened her eyes as if saying "have some sense Ju Harin!!". Harin pouted and continued eating his food.

there was definitely tension between you and Hyungu now. Dani tried to lighten up the mood with another topic as her plan A failed. she really wanted to help Hyungu.

after the meal, you and Harin started discussing some matters related to your future job, which was the main agenda for today's meet up. you switched seats with Dani so that you were opposite of Harin.

Dani called out Hyungu's name softly. "sorry for earlier. i just wanted to help but Harin interrupted. anyway, i'm gonna move to plan B later." Hyungu frowned and glanced at you and Harin who were engrossed in the discussion before leaning closer to the table. "what exactly are you planning??". Hyungu whispered.

Dani smirked and whispered her ideas. Hyungu listened carefully and processed her words. "so, what do you think?" Hyungu slowly nodded, agreeing to her plan.

it was finally time to separate. while Harin and Dani were going back by car, your house was just a walking distance from the mall.

"oh! Hyungu, do you have anything after this? why don't you walk y/n home?"

you almost choked on your own saliva and quickly shook your head. "i-i can go home by myself". Hyungu patted your head and gave a big smile. "i can, no, i want to walk you home!".

you sighed in defeat and nodded. "fine then. thanks Harin and Dani for today! and i'll email you the file later, Harin." Harin nodded and bid you goodbye before leaving with Dani.

you looked at Hyungu and pointed your finger awkwardly to the direction that you were going to. Hyungu walked beside you in silence. you too walked quietly, selfishly enjoying the warmth of his company.

"it feels like we are back to highschool days where i always walk you home". Hyungu started.

you just listened, not responding to his words. "we should go visit the bookshop again together one day. i remember how you would always frown slightly when you read the description of some comics, not because you hated them, but you actually loved them that your expressions couldn't be controlled. also the little pout when the volume you wanted was sold out and we have to either go to another shop or buy them online. oh and remember when--"

"that was all 4 years ago, Hyungu. can we not talk about it anymore?" you said with a slight firmness in your voice.

Hyungu paused for abit before chuckling. "for these 4 years, i've been trying to think of what you meant by me having fun with another girl that's why i was late" your fists curled into a fist as you felt your head become heavy.

"i really like you, y/n. i was serious about our relationship back then. you changed me, you were the only one that i like, i never look at other girls when i started dating you. i was hurt when you said those things to me. i really didn't understand"

you stopped in your tracks as you faced Hyungu with teary eyes. he really dared to lie to you even after 4 years?

you were about to hit his chest but he grabbed your wrist. "i finally figured it out".

~4 years ago~

Hyungu ensured that he had wrapped the big box of gifts for you properly. he carried the box carefully and walked down the staircase towards your classroom.

it was a bit difficult for him to see what was in front due to the box and Hyungu accidentally bumped into someone. he panicked for abit and quickly hugged the box to his body tightly.

"sorry, i didn't see you there!" Hyungu apologised.

the person he bumped into also apologised. "ah Hyungu? sorry! i was in a rush. oh no your hair! are you meeting anyone now?".

Hyungu's hair was a bit out of place after bumping into Ara. "is it bad? i'm meeting my girlfriend!" Hyungu asked, worried about his appearance. he wanted to look his best for you.

Ara reached out her hand to help but Hyungu leaned away. "it's okay, i can do it by myself".

Ara rolled her eyes and flicked Hyungu's forehead. "yeah but you can't see yourself, i can. here squat down abit, you have to look extra handsome for you girlfriend! after bumping into you, the least i could do is help you look presentable".

Hyungu hesitated but squatted for abit and tilted his head for Ara to help. Ara fixed Hyungu's hair and patted his hair for the last step.

"all done! now go impress your pretty girlfriend!"

Hyungu grinned cheekily at the thought of you and thanked Ara before heading towards the classroom.

and that was when the harsh break up happened.

~

a tear fell down your face as you finished listening to his explanation.

"it was all just a misunderstanding! and i totally understand you, i should have been more careful. i really really like you, y/n. i was sincere for all those months. you heard Ara the other day right? i didn't date anyone at all after you. thoughts about you occupied my mind 24/7. i wanted to reach out to you but.. you blocked me on all platforms. i came to your house a few times but your mother said you didn't want to meet anyone. the next time i visited, you already went to Japan. i tried asking your close friends on how to contact you but, they didn't like me so they didn't help me at all. they said i didn't deserve to talk to you anymore because i hurt you. so i waited for fate to bring us back together. and that night, when i saw your face after so long, i felt so happy".

more tears flowed down your face. Hyungu wiped them away with his thumb as he felt himself tearing up too.

"i'm..... i'm sorry. i'm sorry. i'm sorry" was all you managed to say to Hyungu as you started sobbing into his chest. Hyungu hugged you as he rubbed your back.

"can we go back to our happy moment, y/n? i missed you so much." Hyungu whispered as he sniffed.

you pulled yourself away from Hyungu and rubbed your eyes before cupping Hyungu's face with one of your hands. you carressed his face gently with your thumb and shook your head.

"that was all 4 years ago, Hyungu. we can never go back to those happy time. things aren't the same anymore"

Hyungu frowned and leaned into your palm. "then we can start over. things don't have to be the same. i just want to be with you again".

you let his face go. "my feelings for you are not the same anymore, Hyungu. how can we start over if my heart is already closed?"

"you're lying." Hyungu said as his voice trembled.

you chuckled bitterly. "i'm sorry for hurting you Hyungu. i really am. i just, want to focus on building up my career now. i was offered a job back at Japan and i don't want to lose this opportunity. i can't afford to be distracted by relationships. i can't accept your feelings like how i accepted them in highschool. i have other commitments to focus on now. i'm...sorry"

Hyungu clutched onto his chest as he felt nothing but pain in his heart.

you slowly walked away from Hyungu but was stopped by Hyungu's soft voice.

"i won't disturb you anymore but i just want to know one thing. do you hate me?".

you gulped and took a deep breath before turning around to look at his pained face.

"of course not, Hyungu. i will never hate you."

Hyungu gave a small smile despite tears falling down his face non-stop.

"thank you y/n".

you turned away as your feet quickly led you back to your house. you ran up to your room and locked your door before breaking down fully.

you buried your face in between your knees as your sobs echoed in the room.

*you don't deserve to talk to me? i'm the ONE who doesn't deserve to talk to you, Hyungu* you thought.

Hyungu was so gentle and kind to you, he loved you so much but just because of your insecurity, you ruined everything.

you didn't even let him explain things back then and said hurtful words to him. and yet he continued liking you and wanting to clear up the misunderstanding even after years of not meeting each other.

you didn't deserve such a kind person. you didn't deserve his love. you were embarrassed to even face Hyungu now after knowing the truth.

you hated yourself for again escaping from reality. you contacted Harin, asking for the job process to be quickened.

*this will make me forget about him. this will help me forget about him* you chanted and fell asleep from the exhaustion of crying and from the pain in your heart for lying to Kang Hyungu.

.

.

a/n: how was it? haha i hope yall enjoyed the roller coaster ride!

[guigz1-coldwar]

'Uneasy situation' : New chapter for "Redemption in a Spirit in a Cold War" is out !

"Uneasy situation"

"So....uhm...how do I look in those sunglasses, Freya ?"

Chapter Summary : After winning in the trigger memories and been allowed to stay with Freya until her next 'recovery test', Yirina is thinking of an way to get out of the base she & Park were captured and it's not going to be easy.....

Link of the Picrew used !

To read it on AO3, click here !

Words : +3300

Taglist : @snowgoldwaylon , @clxudtea , @efingart

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At the moment I woke up on that stretcher, I knew that I needed to make everyone believe that they won....that they succeeded to put an control over me. I wasn't playing Bell anymore but now, I was playing myself....the Yirina Grigoriev that is trying to find more about what happened to her in an different way than she really did. But like 'Bell' said in my dream, I have only more than day to find an plan....an long day that I have to act like if I wasn't aware of what is going to happen to me....also meaning to relive that relationship with Freya....

After that moment in the shower, she allowed me to take an real shower without her and that was really good to be honest, feeling the water on my skin after days of captivity but when she proposed to me to have some new clothes to change the one I was wearing for days, I refused because I was preferring better that attire I was wearing than using one of the Perseus's uniform, I can't really see myself back in them. When I was done with showering and debating about my clothes, the day was now really starting for me.

First thing we have done was to go eat something in private outside as it was already noon, finally discovering the sun for real and the place I & Park were kept : in an military air base but I couldn't recognize any of the flags that was at some places of the base. After an few minutes of wandering around the base, Freya found an spot that was at hidden sight near an grilled fence with an forest near by. We sat once arrived to eat the meals we took and deep in me, I knew that this liberty wasn't going to last as long I'm staying in that base.

"You liked it ?" Freya asked me after I was able to finish the meal I took, all time wondering if it wasn't drugged but it was not the case apparently.

"Yeah, it was good." I replied with an smile, putting the bowl near me & having crossed my legs to sit before looking all around as I was still wondering where I was. "Where are we, exactly ?" I demanded directly to her.

"We're at north of Verdansk, using an Kastovian Air Base for our operations." She revealed to me, making me realize that me & Park were kept not so far from the CIA's eyes.

"Did I go here before ?" I said, hoping to know more about myself from her.

"Well, no, we didn't go there during the past." She told me, her left arm on her left kneecap, looking at me with an grin. "But I was sometimes summoned here alone." She added, scratching the back of her head with her other hand.

"Yeah, I knew that this place wasn't familiar." I muttered, looking around.

"Can you tell me if you had anything coming back this night ?" She commanded, her voice sounding as an will to know and I knew that I had to lie, trying to find any memory I could think about.

"Yeah, I had." I lied to her, having found an memory to tell her. "It was me....and you....you & some Perseus soldier saved me from death, I was wounded to my knees, my shoulders & my arms before getting back into an helicopter." I fully answered, saying about that old memory I had two months ago back into the old safehouse.

"Oh, I see." Freya chuckled, her right hand holding her head below her chin. "This was in Afghanistan in 1980...an few days before you proposed to me." She confirmed, making the link with the memory of my proposal.

"And I had another one too." I exclaimed, getting her attention, knowing that maybe another memory could help me to know more. "It was....well...it was about the NIS." I whispered, looking at her with sad eyes. "I was like in an rage and I killed NIS agents because they hurt you."

"You remembered that ?" She mumbled, an bit disturbing knowing about that slaughter I did for her in 1976 against the NIS.....an act I can't forget because I was an monster....something I can't be....I sadly nodded to her.

"I was an monster, something I'm not." I affirmed to her, looking away in sadness, feeling true in my words, not acting. "I wished that I wasn't able to relive that." I put my head in my hands as I could feel her hand behind my shoulder.

"No, it's helping you to know more about yourself." She admitted, true to her objectives towards me....'helping me'. "Those memories proved that we're on the good way."

"Maybe but that loss of memories....how did it happen ?" I demanded, knowing well that I will have an lie from her but instead, I didn't have any answers from her for 2 minutes, still having her hand behind me.

"You don't need to know how it happened, Yirina." She proclaimed, moving her arm behind my shoulder, sitting very close to me.

"Yeah, the most important is that I woke up." I stuttered, breaking an little laugh from her despite the not funny situation and I was obliged to reciprocate for that. "What is it ?" I questioned her when she got out of one of her pockets, an pair...of sunglasses..

"Oh, that ?" She showcased the sunglasses, realizing that it was Adler's ones....the ones he was always wearing "Got it from an CIA agent called Russell Adler." She replied, spreading the legs of the sunglasses, seeing on her face an sign of discomfort about them...she must be thinking about he has done to me.

"They're looking good." I complimented, looking at them before she handed them to me.

"Put them on." She ordered in an soft voice, putting the sunglasses in my hand and I was feeling not good to put Adler's sunglasses on me until I resigned to do so.

"How do I look ?" I asked, worried after I put them one....why did I do this ?....

"You look very...sexy." She confessed with an big smile, sending chills in my body as having those sunglasses on me was weird. "No, you can keep them, they're yours." She told me as I was giving back the glasses to her but she refused, insisting to give me them.

"If you want..." I raised my shoulders, putting the sunglasses in the pockets of my pants before I look in the horizon, the afternoon arriving. "About the tests, how are they going to happen ?" I asked after an few seconds of silence.

"Don't worry, it's only test to help you recover your memories at an greater rate." She responded, putting her left hand above my heart, feeling it on the scars that his asshole did back in the New Orleans. "I didn't know that you had an scar over there." She said, passing her fingers along the scars

"I don't even know how I got them." I lied as it was the only solution for me. "But like you all said, it's for helping me." I muttered, joining my hands together on my lap. "What is Perseus thinking about all of this ?"

"Maybe you can ask him directly ?" She suggested, making me an laugh off my mouth.

"Because he's here ?" I scoffed, still laughing & nervous before seeing her smile "Wait, is he here ?" I repeated, seeing that face & stopping the laugh by more nervousity.

"Of course, he is !" She declared, removing her hands off me to get up, offering her hand. "It's an good idea you had, let's go see him." She proposed.

"Uhm....okay, if you want." I chuckled, giving my approval to her as she took my hand to get me up.

Why did I say that I wanted to go see Perseus that was on that very base at this moment ? This was getting more nervous and unstable in the inside to be honest. The man that was the first to fuck up my life....was here. Freya helped me got up before we start to walk towards the direction of the building, feeling the stress climbing inside of me, along with the nervosity and the unstability. I had to act well....like if I wasn't aware of anything.....

When we entered back into the main building her quarters and so, Perseus too, all the looks of every Perseus soldiers was on us but mostly on me. Everyone must be thinking about seeing an ghost here, the 'Winter Soldier' like they want to think, that stupid nickname they gave me....that Perseus gave me. Once we arrived in front of the office that Perseus was, seeing his name on it, an deep breath was necessary.

"You're ready ?" Freya asked me as she was holding the door handle in her hand, awaiting for an answer from me.

"I think I'm good." I responded, passing my hand through my forehead as my answer make her open the door, discovering Perseus sit at his desk....the same person I saw back in those memories, still wearing that same uniform like before.

"Ah....Yirina, it's an pleasure." He exclaimed, delighted to see me after all of those years while I wasn't as I was slowly entering his office. "You can go, Freya, I want an personal discussion with her." He ordered before the door closed behind me, all alone now with the monster.

"Perseus." I whispered in an low voice, making an simple nodding to him.

"You can sit, of course." He pointed to me one of the chair in front of me and I complied, not removing my eyes of him as he made an little cough, covering his mouth with his hands.

"Freya told me that you were here so I came." I told him with an normal voice.

"I know, you did an good choice, my Yirina." He affirmed, keeping an hand near his mouth, feeling disturbed to have an talk with him like that....and to be called 'my Yirina' by him...."You don't know how much I'm happy to see you here." He added with an great smile, again with an cough.

"Me too." I lied to him, accompanied by an grin, joining my hands together on my lap. "So...I have lost my memories, it seems." I started, thinking that would be the subject of our conversation.

"Yes, my child." He said, troubling me by his words. "I was told that you had an difficult moment and it happened to make you lose your memories, I'm sorry." He apologized to me as it was surely meaning an lot of things

"I had an lot of difficults moments in my life." I exclaimed with an low tone, saying the truth about myself. "I can remember things but not everything."I continued about the recovering memories to him.

"And that's an good thing, you need to remember your life and make the good choices for me and you." He admitted, feeling the lie between his words and knowing that the 'good choices' were only for him and the Collective. "We're only making sure that your life is doing better." He then coughed again but more louder than before.

"Do you have something in you ?" I demanded, faking to be curious towards him.

"No, I'm fine, don't worry." He affirmed in an clear voice before he start coughing again more until blood come out of his mouth in an slow load on his hand, almost making me jump from my chair.

"You're sure you're okay ?" I insisted, seeing the blood on his hand and I didn't know how to feel about him....been worried or faking it ?....maybe both.

"Don't worry, I've got something." He told me, pressing his finger on an little device on his desk. "Dedov, can you come at my office quick ?" He demanded while pressing the button before he removed his finger off it.

"Who is this Dedov ?" I questioned him after an few moments after his demand, faking to not know Dedov at all.

"He's my most loyal man in the Collective, he's helping me to get better." He responded, trying to catch his breath, sweating all over his face and holding his chest until then, the door was opened, revealing Dedov with an medikit.

"I did as quick as I could." Dedov started, quickly closing the door behind him before moving to get to Perseus.

"Thank you, Dedov for coming quickly." Perseus breathed as Dedov was taking out an stethoscope from his medikit.

"What does he have ?" I asked to Dedov as he was starting to measure the heartbeat from Perseus that has removed an part of his shirt.

"I'm sick, Yirina....I'm dying." Perseus was the one to reply to me as Dedov was concentrated on his task, sending an feeling of shock and weirdly, an bit of joice in me.

"What ?" I chuckled, slowly getting up from my seat, faking to be fully shocked.

"Perseus has an lung cancer if you want to know." Dedov said in an worried voice to me as he was finished with listening to Perseus's heartbeats before taking an syringe off his medikit. "I'm giving you this and you're going to take some rest, sir." He continued back into an normal voice, injecting an needle to Perseus right arm.

"It can be healed, right ?" I speculated but Perseus shook his head.

"No but I'm getting an chance to...to live until the end of the year." He answered, his voice getting slower, still trying to catch his breath. "Listen, you can go now, I'm going to go to rest like Dedov told me." He ordered before turning around to gesture the same thing for Dedov.

"Okay, I'm leaving you." I muttered before I started to walk out of the room, taking an deep breath when I stepped out of his office but at my surprise, Freya wasn't here at all and because of that, I had to wait for her to return and an few seconds I left, Dedov came out, closing the door behind him. "So...you're Dedov, right ?" I asked in an not sure tone.

"Yes, why're you asking ?" He replied before asking me back another question.

"Because I'm curious, that's all." I raised my shoulders to him as he was seeming an bit curious about me...about how I know his name but I could see that he couldn't ask the question because of the situation. "Can you talk about you ?" I demanded, taking the seriousness of my curiosity at the max level.

"Well, I was born in 1962 if you want to know the full details." He started, hesitating to talk about it with me before he got next to me, crossing his arms. "I lived an normal life with my family until I lost them, one by one." He added in an low voice, looking down as I was saddened to talk with him. "My father, my mother and then....my Zeze." He snorted, sad to talk about Zasha. "The CIA killed them like they were nothing."

"And that's why you joined Perseus ?" He nodded to me, biting his lips.

"It was the only choice for me : the CIA killed them, Perseus showed me the truth." He insisted on that detail, realizing the full extend on the supposed brainwashing he suffered. "They were like my only way of living but Perseus make me live on with an new goal." He continued, making me snort away, sad.

"Don't you feel that there's maybe something wrong with everything around you ?" I questined him, crossing my arms too & leaning against the wall as he was looking at me with curiosity. "Don't answer if you don't want to." I told him with an little grin but still having this face on him.

"I don't know to be honest." He replied anyway, feeling in doubt about it before he got away from me. "Listen, you don't need to know about me as I don't want to know about you." He suggested, taking an harsh tone.

"Okay, okay." I breathed, making signs with him as I didn't want to confront him before I looked away. "Anyway, do you know where Freya could be ? She was awaiting for me here ?"

"I saw her leaving with Sonya to the parking but Sonya wasn't looking happy." He answered, showing me the way behind me by the way I came here before he start to walk away from me and I was ready to go join them quickly before I got an idea....

"Dedov....do you remember Beans ?" I demanded in an clear voice, making him stop to walk away, peaking to look at me.

"What ?" He muttered, troubled.

"Beans, your cat !" I repeated again to him as an way to maybe broke the brainwashing off him. "She was an cat you find near your old apartment complex, you took her with you and Zasha agreed to." I added, feeling an tear on my face to talk about it in front of Perseus office before I know that I couldn't talk no more about it. "Anyway, goodbye Dedov, come back." I saluted him before I start to leave, him still in that position.

I think that it was an way to break the brainwashing from him but I couldn't know if it was going to really work for me & him. Dedov didn't deserve all of this and seeing him in an Perseus military clothes was breaking me....Perseus was really an monster to do this....an dying monster. I then focused back on finding Freya again that was now with Sonya but like Dedov told me, the latter wasn't really happy about something.

Walking alone in this building to join the two in that parking was weird because the soldiers weren't doing anything to stop me at all....to give me an feeling of freedom...an strange freedom to be honest. When I managed to go out of the building and join the only parking near the building, I could see Sonya & Freya between 2 civilians cars but their discussion weren't really good to hear.

"You know that it's all fucked up and you're doing this anyway !" Sonya exclaimed in an loud voice as the two didn't see me arrive, making me watching the scene from afar. "How much are you sick to do that to her ?"

"I'm not sick, Sonya, I'm fine & well." Freya told them, almost angry in her voice. "I'm doing what's right !" She affirmed.

"What's right ?" Sonya repeated, approaching Freya face to face, raising their eyebrow. "Brainwashing her after what happened to her ?"

"Yes, if I want her back...."

"She doesn't...love you anymore, you understand ?" Sonya cut her straight, speaking up against Freya's choices with me. "She told me everything about you two but you're still acting like if nothing happened between us."

"I don't give an fuck about what you think to be honest !" Freya cursed to them in an angry voice, seeing her poke them on their shoulder. "She's coming back to me, end of the story." She admitted.

"She's right, you're not the Freya Helvig I know." Sonya expressed before suddenly, I could see Freya holding firmly their left wrist, hurting me.

"Don't even think of saying that I have changed or putting your hands on me, you understand ?" She threatened them before I decided to step inside the conversation.

"Freya !" I started, stepping in to save Sonya from her. "Why are you hurting them ?" I demanded, worried.

"Oh...just nothing, Yiri." She replied in an normal weird voice to me, releasing Sonya's wrist. "Here's something I wanted to give you back." She put her hands on her pocket, revealing....my own mother's ring in her hands, handing it to me. "Take it, it's yours."

"Thanks." I whispered, taking the ring in my own hands....feeling it and it was all weird to hold it again after those years, after she showed it in that american mall.

"Good, let's go talk further away." She suggested, taking an last look on Sonya that was looking so bad and sad and me too for them. "They don't understand that I'm helping you." She stated, turning around to look at me with an smile...an smile that I couldn't replicate on my face because of Sonya's presence, feeling so bad...

"I'm making sure that you're back at my side for good !"

[martellthemandalor]

Hey! I've read some of your fics and they're so good! could you do a din X reader one where the reader is a part of dins 'crew' and he keeps offering to teach her to fight but awkwardly declines, and does this until they find another clan of mandalorians and at first they don't like her and question din for having someone 'weak' on his team. And defensively she says she can take down one of their warriors and dins asking her not to do this but during the fight she reveals she's force sensitive?

*Hia darling anon!! firstly thank you so much, that means the world to me :)). secondy i hope this is what you had in mind, i got a little carried away (hello word count of 3.8K+ oops) hence why this has taken a while to get out to you. enjoy! <3

Far From Weak

He wasn’t meant to have found out like this. Hell, he wasn’t supposed to have found out at all. You’d been doing a good job at hiding it so far, though the kid seemed to have sussed you out. Look once into those big eyes and it’s like they knows your deepest darkest secret and it’s terrifying, until they waddle off to swallow a whole frog that is.

You’d been on Mando’s ‘crew’ for a good five months now, initially brought on as a mechanic. A desperately needed mechanic, so you’d noted once you stepped onto the razor crest. In reality there wasn’t much of the actual crest left, parts having been removed and replaced with cheap knockoffs and thrown together amalgamations over the years. There was even an alternator that looked as though it had actually been patched together using a literal medkit.

He’d really downplayed how much the place was falling apart when he hired you, but you didn’t exactly mind. You enjoyed a challenge, and fixing a ship that was falling apart at the seams was certainly that.

Your job had evolved somewhat by month two, the little green baby Mando was caring for had won your heart over. It was like you were drawn to them, finding it impossible to ignore them and all their adorable little traits. You didn’t fully understand why you were feeling so attached to this cute womp rat, not until you caught them with a small outstretched hand in the direction of a levitating silver ball. They had turned to you with a knowing gleam in their face, cooing at you to join the fun. Not that you ever did when Mando was around, of course.

But the days when he wasn’t there? When you knew that he wasn’t coming back for a long time? Then you could play with the child all you wanted. Your games varied, one of their favourites being floating the ball from their little claw to your own hand, in a gentle game of catch. Another was playing guessing games where they had to guess which crate you had put your wrench behind, then lifting it to you. You loved it. It was a chance to flex your skills, to relieve some of the tension of hiding them.

By month four Mando had started asking if you wanted some fight training with him. He knew that life was starting to get more dangerous, he had begun encountering more and more imp scum trying to get the child while he was out hunting quarry’s. The two of you had become rather close these past few months, he’d be lying to himself if he said that he didn’t look forward to seeing the smile that lit up your eyes when he returned from his jobs or the way you eagerly asked for a report on how he captured this bounty.

In fact, the Mandalorian had become rather enamoured with you and with the discovery of these new bounty hunters, wanting to make sure you could keep yourself and the child safe was his next priority, and teaching you to fight would ensure that.

The first time he asked it had been painfully awkward. He had stridden up to and flat out told you he wanted to give you fighting lessons. You were sure it was probably a big deal that he wanted to teach you the fighting techniques of Mandalorian’s, but you knew that you could never accept.

You could hide your force sensitivity when concentrating, ignoring the pull of it on your instincts, but when fighting? There was no way. You literally couldn’t help it. It felt like you could predict what was coming during a fight, which fist they were going to throw at you, which way they were going to dodge round to. He would be able to tell you had the upper hand and if he knows what the kid can do, then it’s hardly going to be a stretch to figure out that you can do it too.

You tried, maker you tried, to be as tactful as possible while turning him down. Telling him that you could take care of yourself, you can handle a blaster and that would be enough if anyone tried to grab the kid while on the crest. He had grunted some form of disappointed response back at you, the likes of which made you feel inescapably guilty.

You had hoped that that would be the only time he would try and ask you, but if there was anything this Mandalorian was, it was most definitely stubborn.

He would present the offer to you pretty much every other day, the question getting more and more demanding as time went on. You knew that he would never force you to do anything you didn’t want to, he wasn’t like that, but you could feel his frustration building with each of your awkward refusals.

Eventually he drew back on any other conversation with you, choosing only to speak when pressing the question to you, outside of that he would only voice short remarks on urgent matters. The only other time you would hear the rough lowness of his speech is when he would speak to the child, you were glad in that respect that at least he was engaging them in some form of conversation.

It went on for days and you were beginning to feel worse and worse. It was strange, he would approach you in the mornings, his voice soft and probing, practically pleading for you to let him teach you and then when you declined you could almost see the frustration pouring out of him.

You weren’t entirely sure why he hadn’t kicked you from the crest yet, a part of you terrified that one morning would be your last, he wouldn’t want to put up with your own apparent stubbornness any more.

If only you could tell him, yell at him that it wasn’t stubbornness, that your survival depended on keeping a secret that was damn near impossible to hide. It didn’t help that Mando wasn’t one for ambiguity. If you revealed you had a secret then maker knows he’d find a way to coax it out into the starlight.

The silence was torture, but it was necessary.

And so you kept quiet, the two of you falling into this routine that satisfied neither party. The atmosphere on the crest became stifling, almost unbearable, even the kid could sense something was wrong though that wasn’t exactly surprising.

You’d arrived on Tatooine, the last stop of this latest run of quarry’s, when Mando finally broke the cycle.

“I need to go to market, would you like to come with me?” The question came out robotic, the words detached from the familiar soft tone of his morning request. To say it threw you off was an understatement, but you eagerly nodded regardless, after all you did have some parts to get to repair a few blown thermal couplings.

Mando was on high alert as you walked through the stalls of the busy market. You could practically feel how tense he was, wound tight and ready to spring at the smallest sign of danger. You watched him from the corner of your eye, saw the way his helmet would lock on to whatever would walk just a little too close to you.

The imposing and dangerous manner in which he presented himself was a stark contrast to the small green eared bundle that he gently cradled in his arm.

The thought that you were the only one who got the privilege of seeing him be truly open and caring with the child made you smile to yourself, a warmth settling in your heart at the notion that he trusted you that much to see him in that way.

Given enough time to fester and that feeling would have quickly turned to guilt. Maybe that would have been better than what happened instead.

As you reached the edge of the market your gaze was caught by a familiar silhouette glinting in the sun. Actually, three familiar silhouettes, all of which had apparently noticed you to and were now making short work of closing the distance between you. Before you even had a chance to open your mouth and alert Mando, you found yourself very carefully situated in his shadow, his hand wrapped lightly round your wrist to keep you behind him.

“Su cuy'gar burc'ya!” (“Hello friend”) The largest of the trio greeted Mando, green helmet nodding at him. Mando nodded back, a slow and exaggerated bob of his head.

“Su cuy’gar,” He replied simply, defensive stance unwavering.

You didn’t like this. You assumed that Mando would’ve been happy to see his creed siblings but it was clear from the slowly tightening grip on your wrist that he truly wasn’t. Something twitched in you, a short tug on your soul to reach out, reassure him that it’s okay without having to say a word. But that would unravel everything you’ve worked to keep hidden.

Instead you twisted your wrist out of his hand, only to quickly replace it with the palm of your own. The response was immediate, his hand curled round yours, fingers locking together.

You gave him a soft squeeze and the affect was akin to throwing a spattering of water onto hot coals, you could almost see some of the tension release from him, hear the gentle hiss of it evaporating away.

“We weren’t expecting any new clan members,” The red painted one speaks this time, his tone almost accusatory. You couldn’t see it, but Mando had clocked the way his visor had fixated on you as he spoke. Unease blossomed in his belly. He could see where this was going.

“We aren’t new clan members, we came on world to pick up supplies and fuel up, we’ll be gone by morning.” He tried to keep his tone as even and final as possible, an inexplicit warning for these three to leave him and his clan in peace.

Green head didn’t get the hint. Instead he strode towards Mando and clapped his hand onto his pauldron.

“Come, you can spend the night at the covert, it’s been a while since any of us have seen fresh blood.” You do catch it this time. Green’s helmet shifts to look at you, the pointedness of it making your heart beat a little faster in your ear. You stare him down though, no way in hell was a faceless look enough to make you back down.

You see rather than hear the deep breath your crew leader makes, shoulders rising and falling steadily. Then he nods his head.

“It would be a privilege to meet more clan siblings,” Mando replied, his helmet dodging in front of Green’s stare. You gave his hand a squeeze, a silent thank you.

-

The journey to the covert had been spent in silence on your part, a rare occurrence given Mando’s aversion to making conversation, often leaving you to fill the gaps. But here he was doing most of the talking, working hard to divert conversation whenever it felt close to being focused on you or the child.

You suddenly got it. Mando wasn’t happy to see them, because of you.

The guilt got worse then, was he embarrassed by you?

Yes Green head had been kind of intimidating when he had stared at you, but it was no different from how you used to feel around your Mandalorian at first.

In the covert things got twice as tense. It felt like every pair of eyes was being trained on you, probably because they were. You were a stranger in their midst, not only that but you were a non-mandalorian in their covert, in their shield from the outside worlds. From people like you.

You hadn’t really been paying attention to what was being said, nor to where you were being lead to, your focus had been on looking straight ahead and answering the squeezes of Mando’s hands with ones of your own.

Only now, when the din of the rest of the covert had been shut out by the closing of a door, did you realise that you had entered a final room. It was empty save for a round table surrounded by straight backed durasteel chairs, a single light hanging low above the set. The room was small, though the lack of decoration made it feel strangely cavernous.

The three other Mandalorian’s had sat down. Red head held his hand out in invitation for you and Mando to sit.

This time you’re the first person to speak.

“Why does this feel like we’re about to be interrogated?” You commented, eyebrow raised at the three visors sat stoically across from you.

“Maybe because we are,” Mando muttered beside you.

“Nonsense,” It was the first time you’d heard the purple helmeted one speak. It surprised you how soft their voice was. “We simple need to know what your situation is before we take you to the armourer.”

“Situation? What the hell does that mean?” You asked, gaze flickering between the three Mandalorians, making sure they each got a healthy dose of the heat behind them.

“What we mean is, we need to discuss what you are to this Mandalorian, if you are safe to see our inner workings and meet his siblings. That is all.” Green spoke nonchalantly, as if this was evident. It shouldn’t have hurt you as much as it did.

If Mando trusted you to bring here, surely that was enough? Apparently not.

The conversation from there continued without your participation. The other three spoke as if you were not there, their words dipping between Basic and their mother tongue. There were some words you understood, mainly the curses that were falling from Mando’s vocoder, the likes of which you had become familiar with while patching him up after rough jobs. Most you didn’t though.

There was one moment, a word uttered that made Mando practically seize up next to you, his hands fisted and pressed firmly against the table. Riduur (Spouse). You took it to mean some sort of insult, from the way Mando had reacted it must have been. Whatever it meant, it wasn’t mentioned again.

The back and forth went on for some time, until-

“We just can’t understand why you would choose someone so weak to be on your crew. What on earth can they offer you?”

Something in you snapped. You don’t know why on earth you thought saying it would be a good idea. It was downright dangerous to even entertain the idea. But you couldn’t bear the idea that Mando was being criticised, mocked even, for choosing you.

The moment the words left your mouth you regretted them, but you would never dream of taking them back.

“I am far from weak. I may not wear armour or adhere to a code, but I am stronger in ways you can only dream of. I would be more than happy to show that I can take any of you in a fight, but it can’t be here. We go somewhere private and far from strangers eyes.”

They had accepted, with some amusement, and taken you, the Mandalorian and the child to a reclusive spot outside of town. Gnarled rock structures rose up on either side of you, providing the privacy you desperately required.

The whole journey there had been spent with Mando pleading and begging you not to do this. The strain in his voice was almost enough to make you give in, to take the hand he kept trying to close around your tensed fist and let him lead you back to the crest. But this was a matter of pride now and you weren’t going to cave in, not for anything.

It seemed that the trio had chosen Red for you to fight, it seemed fair to you given they looked a similar height and build to you. Not that it would help them mind.

They took their place within the makeshift rink that had been drawn in the sand, shaking themself out in an attempt to look ready.

You were about to step in when Mando grasped your wrist, pulling you close to his visor.

“Please, please, don’t do this, you don’t have to, not for you and least of all for me.” You didn’t need to see his eyes to know they were locked onto yours.

You opened your mouth to reply, but his own words tumbled out before you could speak. “I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel weak with my constant asking, I’m so so sorry. You don’t need to prove to me that you are strong by doing this, I know you are, I’ve always known,” His voice was quiet, almost ashamed of this outburst of emotion.

Your heart clenched, a dull ache that made you want to wrap your arms around him, wrap the force around him, and tell him it’s okay to feel. “Please cyare,” (“beloved”)  he croaked, his final attempt to get you to walk away.

You leaned in, pressing a kiss to the forehead of his helmet.

“Trust me.” That was all you said. All you needed to say. He gave a soft squeeze to the flesh of your wrist, then guided you into the rink.

Now or never then.

You stood opposite the Red painted Mandalorian. You settled into a fighting stance, centring your weight and your spirit.

For makers sake, please don’t let me down now.

You felt it before they moved, the energy beside your face surged in the direction that the fist flew mere seconds later. You easily parried, then landed your first blow to their ribs, just beside their chest plate. You span on your heel to face them head on again. You felt the gathering at your chest so you dodged to the left, only to feel the impact of a heavy fist colliding with your right shoulder. Pain exploded across the flesh there, causing you to reel back, stooping slightly as you clutched your shoulder.

Well it wasn’t an exact art at any rate.

Energy swirled below your stomach. Knee. As their knee flew towards your stomach you curled your hands under their thigh, using the momentum to surge forward and throw them onto their back. Their hands came to your hips, and flipped you over them as you fell forward, launching you to land harshly a few feet above their head.

Kriff this.

You both scrambled to your feet. You watched as they began to charge towards you. You didn’t brace yourself or try to run away. Instead, you merely extended your hand out towards them. Somewhere in the distance you heard Mando yelling at you, his voice muffled by your focus the swirling barrier of force you felt building up around you. The energy curled in on you, just as Red was about to make contact, you used all you had to throw it from your body, projecting it all towards the oncoming Mandalorian.

They flew backward, cape billowing with grace around them as they flailed through the air, landing with an unceremonious thud on the coarse ground.

You held them there, tendrils of force curling round their limbs to fix them to the ground as you walked calmly towards them. You were the epitome of control in this moment, you knew that you held the attention of everyone in attendance, even the air was still for your presence.

Towering over the restrained Mandalorian you could see every ounce of tension they were holding, their muscles in preparation for whatever onslaught you were about to rain down. Instead, you ran a casual hand through your hair.

“Do you concede?” You quipped.

Red nodded their head viciously, panting out “Yes, yes, yes.”

A wave of your hand released them. You watched as they scurried back to their creed siblings, gathering yourself for what you knew you had to do now.

You strode over to the trio. You flayed your hand towards them, fisting the fabric at their collars using the force.

“You say a single word to anyone about what you saw today and I will find you and personally rip those helmets off of your thick heads. I will do it in front of the whole planet and don’t think for a single second that I won’t.” You hissed at them, before releasing them and watching as they hurried away from you and back to the safety of the covert.

You hoped that the threat of removing their helmets would be affective enough in keeping their mouths shut. If your secret got out then you’d have bounty hunters on your trail in no time. You couldn’t put that on Mando, not when he’s already protecting his own foundling from them.

You took a breath to steady yourself, turning slowly to face your Mandalorian. He was stood stock still, frozen beneath the heat of the double suns. You tentatively walked towards him, reaching out when you were close enough to lightly trail your fingertips down his arm.

It was like your touch broke the spell. His arms came out and pulled you against his chest.

You let out a breathless laugh, your own arms coming up to wrap around his armour clad form.

“Don’t you dare scare me like that again,” He said, resting his helmet on the crown of your head.

“I’ll certainly try not to,” You responded in a sigh, relaxing further into his embrace, the adrenaline from the fight slowly dissipating.

He pulled you away and held you from him, visor directly in front of your face.

“And no more secrets like that.”

“I promise.”

The two of you stayed like that for a moment, staring at each other. The both of you trying to gauge where the hell this new thing between you was going. That was until Mando’s arm was hit by a small metal ball.

You looked over to see the kid stood a little away from you, giggling hysterically. Glancing around, you then flicked your fingers, all three of you watching as the glinting sphere flew its way back to the child.

Mando shook his head, walking back over to where the child was and picking them up. You followed suit, the three of you now making your way back to the crest.

“So you and the kid, you have the same…abilities?” Mando eventually asked.

“Yes, at least I think so. To be truthful Mando, I have no idea what it is. All I know is that I’ve seen other people with it, good people, get captured and killed for it.”

“That’s why you couldn’t accept my lessons,” The realisation was evident in his voice. He looked at you, then at the kid, then back at you. “We’ll figure out what it is, how to protect you,” there was a pause, like he was contemplating something. Then he reached out and took your hand in his. “We’ll do it together.”

You smiled at him and nodded. Together.

Yes, you liked the sound of that.

[watching-pictures-move]

Put On Your Raincoats #20 | Squalid Motels and Desperate Gals, courtesy of Kim Christy

This review contains mild spoilers.

When I first heard of Kim Christy, I knew I had to delve into her work. Here is someone who was involved in the drag scene in the '60s and went on to direct and produce pornography from the '80s onward. She's also a trans woman director (and occasional actress), which is not just unusual in golden age pornography but even mainstream cinema today. Unfortunately, figuring out where to start was a challenge. There's a very good interview with her on the Advocate but which doesn't really delve into her directing work. So I did the highly risky and ill-advised move of scanning through the titles in her filmography and trying to pick out ones with interesting sounding premises. Even this was a challenge, as a lot of her movies sounded like they didn't have a terrible amount of story. (A good many of them also had certain slurs in the title, which are unfortunately common in trans pornography.) So out of the crapshoot of movies I picked, I can't say I really got to the bottom of what makes her work interesting or even gelled to most of them, but hopefully I can convey what makes the ones I did take to interesting.

To start with the most slight, the two Divine Atrocities movies are basically a collection of sex scenes. There's a theme of dominant women running through them, but otherwise there isn't much tying together in terms of staging, aesthetics and the like. The segments have titles like "The Leather Lass Tamer", "Rubber Rampage" and "Ms. Degradation", but truth be told, nothing here is terribly shocking. So there isn't a lot to either of these movies, but if you're watching it for those reasons, they're enjoyable enough. A few of the segments feature trans performers, and I did find that Sulka had a nicely imposing screen presence in her scene, and while Sugar Nicole briefly threatens her partner with her "big black cock", I did like that for the most part the movies don't discern between these scenes and the ones with cisgender performers. In the eyes of Kim Christy, there's room for everyone in this great sexual melange. Also notable is the threesome scene with Janey Robbins, who (after likely reading Dan Savage's column) tells one of her partners, "If you don't find a different way to fuck me, you can forget it, I'll have to find somebody else", and in the first time in the history of civilization, gets mad at her male partner for not climaxing quickly enough. "You always say it'll only take a few minutes. Time is the only thing I can't replace, and it always takes too long."

A bit more substantive narratively but less interesting is Momma's Boy, with a premise that you can guess based on the title. Tantala Ray presides over a brothel set during an indeterminate period, where she presides over her girls and also her son, who mysteriously became a deaf-mute at a certain point of time. Why did her son become a deaf-mute? Will we ever find out? Spoiler: it's incest. Tantala Ray does have a weird enough screen presence to make her parts watchable, but this has none of the charge that, say, Taboo brings to the same material. (It's worth noting that Ray in this movie, looking like a debauched queen of Mardi Gras in one scene, is a camp villain while Kay Parker plays her role straight in the other movie.) As it's shot on video, the movie is not very nice to look at, and the dirt cheap production values make it unclear whether this is supposed to be a period piece. Some of the dialogue is amusing ("Oxford?" "Guess again." "Princeton?" "Try Biloxi Tech, my sweetie."), and there is some old timey music and one of the clients wears an ascot at one point, so it's not a totally squalid affair. (It's classy, see? He's wearing an ascot.) As the son, Jerry Butler does a cringe-inducing lisp, but I did chuckle at his last line.

A bit easier to recommend is True Crimes of Passion, where Janey Robbins plays a private detective (cheekily named B.J. Fondel) who invariably bungles her investigations and winds up in sex scenes with the people she's supposed to be investigating. "Out of the fog and into the smog" begins the overwrought voiceover, which truth be told doesn't compare to the likes of Chandler but I guess the effort is nice. The first case involves her investigating the wife of a minister whom her client suspects of infidelity. Surprise, surprise, it turns out the wife has a girlfriend with whom she has dominant sex. Thanks to Robbins' investigative prowess, she gets found out and forced to join the proceedings and ends up getting her client, a Dan Quayle looking motherfucker in a cowboy hat, captured as well, which leads to an incredible burn.

"The lord will punish you for this."

"The lord already has, he gave me you for a husband."

Also, when Robbins is forced into cunnilingus, she says over narration, "Oh Christ, I'm not even sure I've seen one of these things up close", and yeah, okay, Janey.

The second scene is probably the most notable as it features Christy as a performer. Robbins visits her friend to investigate a death threat against her friend's brother (also Robbins' ex), and the twist can be deduced when you start wondering why a seemingly minor character gets an unusually large amount of screentime. The scene features a trope that likely isn't terribly sensitive by modern standards, but I get the sense from that Advocate interview that Christy isn't too hung up about such things and one must concede that the film is a product of its time and genre (and within that context, there's a lot worse out there). The last scene has Robbins spying on her neighbour in hotel to get some industry secrets, which leads to some really awkward dialogue about champagne and then a threesome involving her client and mark. Like the work of Yasojiru Ozu, this scene breaks the 180-rule, but I guess if this is your thing, you might enjoy it. At the very end, the mark just gives up his secrets to the client. The secrets of male bonding sometimes elude me.

Easily the most accomplished and enjoyable film from Christy that I watched was Squalor Motel. It combines the sexual variety of the other films with a sense of camp and grounds it in a distinct, memorable location. There isn't much more "plot" than the other movies, as it's basically about a motel concierge doing her job over the course of a day, but as it follows her bumping into a variety of (usually horny) guests and finding herself in amusing (and unfailingly sexual) situations, there's enough of a narrative through line that it feels like a "real" movie where the other movies strained for similar effect, and the movie uses a soundtrack of icy synths and jazz that sounds like imitation Angelo Badalamenti to give it all an alluring vibe. I'm gonna make a wager that David Lynch would have liked this movie. Look, I have no idea what his viewing habits are or what sends his motor running, and the thought of him jacking it furiously to this or any movie is not something that brings me pleasure. But this shares some of the campy tone and surface qualities of his works, and I also wanted to leave you all with that image.

Why does the motel have its own house band (to whom people try to listen to while they engage in all kinds of sexual congress)? Why is Jamie Gillis made up like a vampire and trying to sell marital aids? Why does the one guest's blow-up doll turn into a real person (and prove, uh, extremely vocal during their scene)? Why is the owner wearing a pig mask and a tutu while he spies on his guests? Why is everyone laughing at the newlywed? Why is the one scientist with a Hitler mustache and his shrill-voiced assistant conducting experiments (read: having a threesome) with Tantala Ray? And how are most of these things taking place in the mysterious Reptile Room in the middle of the motel? With an extremely winning Colleen Brennan in the lead role (sporting a pair of thick glasses, a Lucille Ball updo, and a big, toothy smile), we'll have a pretty good time finding out. Like a lot of hardcore movies, this is pretty episodic in structure, but its distinct atmosphere gives it a nice sense of momentum as it drifts from scene to scene.

With its nice production design (and the fact that it seems to have actual sets, rather than being shot in what I assume are people's homes like in the other movies), Squalor Motel feels a bit more upscale and lavish than the average porno. While I don't have any budgetary information handy, I do know that the production had an assistant director, Ned Morehead. To what extent he contributed to the movie's DNA I can't say for certain, but the directorial effort of his I watched, also produced by Christy, had many of the same qualities. Desperate Women starts off feeling pretty stylish with its spraypaint style opening credits (although it loses a bit of style when it misspells star Taija Rae's name as "Taja Rea"). Taija Rae plays a reporter who ends up wrongfully convicted for a murder and thrown in brutal women's prison presided over by the sadistic Tantala Ray, who seems to get her jollies from spying on her prisoners as they get it on or abusing them with the help of her dimwitted guard. During such incidents, the guard frequently ends up ejaculating on her uniform as a source of comic relief. (One such scene ends with a shot of a photo of Ronald Reagan.) I must however disclose, without revealing too much about the shameful inner workings of my hopelessly degenerate mind, that the denouement of scene involving Ray, her guard and Sharon Mitchell did not leave me unmoved. Mitchell plays a prisoner who befriends Taija Rae, and it's worth noting that despite being one of the best actresses in classic porn, she's saddled here with an atrocious Hispanic accent and at one point sings a bit of "America" from West Side Story.

By porn standards, this is actually quite well produced and has a relatively sturdy narrative. (I must however note that one scene has a blatant ejaculation-related continuity error.) Women in prison movies tend to be pretty squalid affairs in general, at least in terms of production values, so this doesn't feel too far off from the real thing and offers more explicit versions of the same pleasures, while its sense of humour gives it a nice campy quality. Tantala Ray especially delivers in a pleasingly over the top performance as the teeth-gnashing villain (the camera often frames her severe face in wide angle close ups), and say what you will about Sharon Mitchell's accent, I did like seeing her pop up in here. With all the flamboyance and excitement around her, Taija Rae almost becomes a supporting character in her own movie, although I must confess that I found her character's hopeless naivety pretty cute. ("I didn't wear rubbers, it's sunny out".) With a fun cast, a firm handle on the genre's pleasures and a groovy soundtrack, this is a pretty good time.