#even though the idea of dating makes me wanna scream

[themoonunderstoodmydadjokes]

..

[spiritsdiary]

— FIRST DATE with TYLER OWENS

wc: 788 | content: description of intense weather (??)

you had made the mistake of issuing a challenge to tyler owens: “impress me.”

and tyler owens would be damned if he backed down from a challenge.

so he got you flowers and brought you along to thursday rodeos with his crew, and he must have talked to your mama too, because how else he could’ve figured out where to get your favorite pie was beyond you.

“nothing ever throws you off, does it?” you asked him the fifth time he showed up at your door, armed with a box of pie and that damn smile.

he had simply shrugged before reciting his stupid mantra at you. “if you feel it, chase it.”

he laughed when you shut the door in his face. you’d be lying if you said weren’t laughing yourself when you opened the box, grabbed a fork, and dug in, the dessert tasting a little sweeter than usual.

while it was nice, you’d grow bored of this routine eventually, and tyler seemed to know that, too. but he had an idea, and while it was stupid as all hell, he was willing to take his chances.

you barely pulled the door open when he spoke.

“i wanna take you out tonight.” well. that was new.

“it’s not thursday,” was all you could think to say in response.

“i know a spot,” he’d said, completely unfazed, with a cheeky wink and a tip of his hat, and really, you should’ve known what he meant.

because why wouldn’t you now find yourself in the passenger seat of tyler’s truck as he veers off the road directly towards a tornado?

“tyler owens, are you crazy?!” you exclaim, the only response being a bout of wild laughter as he throttles it even faster. “you better not be filming this!”

“you kiddin’?” he gestures to the cameras mounted above the windshield. “don’t worry, this’ll be just for us. we can look back on this in ten years and laugh.”

“if we live,” you mumble to yourself, glad of the wind, rain, and tyler’s blaring radio.

he looks at you for a moment, though, a flicker of concern in his eyes. “you ready?”

you don’t even have to think about your answer. “hell yeah, tornado wrangler.”

“‘s what i like to hear, baby,” he says, rolling to a stop in the middle of the field. “and now… we wait.”

“next time, just say you wanna drive me into a tornado.”

“next time?” he raises his eyebrows at you as he flips a few switches and anchors the truck.

“you’re insane,” you laugh, shaking your head.

“i’m startin’ to think that you like that about me,” he replies, nodding to the tornado only feet away as he makes sure your harness is secure. “better hold on to somethin’.”

you should be scared, but when you grab on to tyler’s hand, fueled by adrenaline and exhilaration, you just feel a sudden calm. like you belong here, with him, in his truck, getting hit head on by a tornado.

and maybe that’s why you let him kiss you.

the tornado swirls around the truck, the wind screaming so loudly you can barely hear his music, and you lean into him even though the harness digs into your shoulders. his kiss is gentle, respectful, and you can feel him smiling as you kiss him back, only pulling away to touch your forehead to his.

the winds of the tornado rock the truck, debris pelting the outside, but you’re too wrapped up in tyler to even care. you breathe him in until the sound of the storm begins to dissipate and the beating of your heart fades in your ears.

“you can open your eyes, sweetheart,” he whispers, watching as you lean back into your seat.

his voice spurs you into action, laughing as you undo your harness and jump out of the truck. he’s quick to follow you, smiling proudly as you let out a loud whoop.

“told you i knew a spot.”

“tyler owens…” you say his name again, slowly turning to look at him where he leans against his truck, arms folded across his chest.

“yeah?”

you could blame his tight jeans, or his backwards cap, or that damn smile of his for what you do next, but in the end you do it solely because you want to.

because you want him.

you run up to him, your hand bumping against the brim of his cap as you throw your arms around his neck, and kiss him, pressing him back against the hood.

and when his hands take hold of your hips, his mouth insistent against yours, you know that however you challenge him, he’ll always be crazy enough to impress you.

good evening twisters/tyler owens nation, i am officially throwing my hat in the ring 🥰

m.list

© qimirdiary 2024. do not repost without permission.

[mondaymelon]

— pocky for the malipo ⭑.ᐟ

⟶ ( kinich x gn!reader )

— in which... hey, does this even count as a kiss...?

— speedran this filler post for pocky day + kinch's birthday.. its single day too LMAO the coincidences are simply uncanny ..

— starts out w mualani + kinich for context , fluff !! reader likes sweets,, ...tw... use of the word orbs..

“awwww, c’mon!! it’ll be fun, i promise…”

mualani jumps up and down vigorously, her expression slowly growing more and more dejected. “the traveler told me all about it- this otherworldly tradition, y’know, with those little sweet stick thingies, they even gave me a box! it’d be a reallll big shame to waste ‘em, and wouldn’t it be super cool to do?”

recently, mualani had grown very invested in the idea of some date called “pocky day.” these sorts of random hyperfixtations happened just about every other day, but this time the obsession lasted a linger longer than most, all because of some eavesdropping on the traveler, who offhandedly mentioned it in some conversation… anyway, now that the day itself had arrived, 11/11, she was more excited than ever.

“just onnncee..! pretty please, kinich… xilonen? sharky??” seeing that no one here was willing, except for sharky, who wagged his tail in approval, mualani let out a wail.

kinich stared at her with a tired gaze, sighing slowly. “well, i don’t see how-”

“oHHH my aRCHONS, kinich, how are you so BORING?? when i contracted with this stupid guy, YOU, i thought itd be a little more fun than rotting in a cave ALLL day long but APPARENTLY not!!? live a little uGHHGH, you emo little ‘oooohh look at me im so distant and mysterious’ shut UPPP…” ajaw popped out of nowhere, face red and pixelated hands waving back and forth angrily. “c’mooon, surely you aren’t stupid and blind enough to see that this is the literally PERFECt opportunity to smoochy smoochy kiss kiss that one person you've been OGLING with those  big ORBS of yours huh????”

kinich opened his mouth to say something, but then paused. mualani watched with bated breath, squeezing sharky in her hands in anticipation, eyes sparkling, gaze screaming “oh????”. 

“...well… i guess… hmph, even someone like ajaw makes a point sometimes, huh…?” kinich coughed into his fist sheepishly, a barely noticeable blush dusting his cheeks. “though, i’m not ‘ogling’ them at all, ajaw- it’s- well, i’m just observing them. for a commission.”

“suuuUUUReeee palllll, whatever you say- YOU REALLY DIDN’T THINK I’D SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT, DID YOU??? BLABLABLA LALALA I’m RIGHT AHAHAHH THATS RIGHT IM RIGHT IM-”

kinich swatted ajaw out of the air, in the way one would with a buzzing fly. he flew through the air, disappearing into the horizon with a sparkle.

“...ahem. mualani, i’ll be heading out now.” kinich turned around calmly, as if he hadn’t just committed battery. "if i may, could i get one of those ‘pocky’ you were talking about? i’ll repay you.”

"hehe... no need for repayment, just tell me how it goes later!" mualani, smug and beaming, handed over one of the boxes.

..and so the time had come.

"kinich?" glancing up from your work, you flashed him a smile. "what's the matter?"

well, it wasn't as if the saurian hunter didn't see you out often- he did. this little nook you had in the scions of canopy was, as kinich put it, "on the convenient way back" for all of his missions, and so the male found most evenings swinging by (pun intended).

no, him coming wasn't the issue here. but kinich had been uncharacteristically.. avoidant of your gaze. for the past five minutes he had been there, arms crossed and leaning against the door frame like they do in those inazuman light novels, he'd been staring at a crack in the floorboards. and to make matters more concerning, he had something strange in his hands too: some sort of box that he kept flipping around with his fingers.

"hey. kini'. we're both not great at words, so just tell me and get.. well, whatever it is. you wanna say over with." at the mention of his nickname, kinich perked up, clearing his throat.

"ah, that..."

ohh, so there was the problem. the eerily quiet atmosphere was because ajaw wasn't present... pause, now you were even more worried. kinich had somehow gotten ajaw off his ass?? unthinkable????

"is it an emergency? fuck, are we all going to die? tell me this type of thing earlier, kini', i need to pack all my-"

"what? no- i, mualani.. she, no, there's this holiday, today. the traveler mentioned it, and i thought it'd be fun to try out.. you like sweets too, so. here." kinich unearthed some sort of... stick? was he really trying to feed you sticks? c'mon now, you weren't that stupid-

"i can read your gaze. it's not like that. here, it's chocolate, just- hah..." kinich sighed, eyebrows pinched together, wearing the expression of someone watching everything go wrong. "give it a taste?"

you eyed him skeptically, before taking the stick out of his hands and taking a bite.

"...sweet."

"yeah?"

"not a stick."

"...yes."

"...give me another."

"not so fast, we need to play the game first." kinich took one of the sticks and put it into his mouth, all of a sudden looking a lot more... guilty? you couldn't quite pinpoint the expression on his face, something you'd been doing with a 30% success rate (the highest any natlanian had ever achieved). "whoever gets the last bite wins."

"...i'm just supposed to. eat the other end?"

"what, you can't?" the slight teasing edge in his voice reminded you of ajaw (just the slightest) and you immediately became exponentially irritated.

"hah, who said that? bet."

"..."

oh, so now he chose not to break eye contact.

"...a-hey, we're getting a little close, aren't we.."

"...if you wanna break it off, lose."

"...fuck, you-"

you grabbed him by the cheek, pushing yourself forward and, admittedly, forcefully touching your lips against his. whether by the suddenness or whether by the fact that you two had, well, "kissed," the esteemed malipo kinich let out what sounded like a sputter and fell backward, hands barely catching him from falling to the ground. sitting himself down, he looked up at you with flushed cheeks, mouth slightly open, and the edge of his lips smudged with chocolate.

"bleh. i win." sticking out your tongue, you motioned with your hands. "the whole box, it's mine now. winner takes all, or whatever they say in mondstadt."

kinich's gaze was observant, and under it you felt your face slowly begin to warm, realizing what you had just done.

"not so fast." kinich stood back up, recomposing himself in a matter of seconds.

"one more round. you caught me off guard."

(a/n) and then reader and kinich smoochy smooch smooch kiss kissed and single day was no longer single and happy birthday kinich really did become happy for kinich fuck when am i going to find me a partner <- has unrealistic expectations

context notes!! :

ajaw purposefully left kinich alone so that he could do his.. idk if you can call it flirting. pocky game w you. best wingman ajaw we all cheer (in reality he was tired of seeing kinich act all lovey dovey whenever you were around and found the tension suffocating so he decided to take matters into his own hands)

taglist (comment to be added / send in an ask on my sb): @manager-of-the-pudding-bank, @iamdedinside, @ilyuu-archive, @falors, @swivy123, @scara-is-my-wife, @lupicalbestwolf, @justyoureader, @fiannee, @aether-darling, @aioniela, @avensuersa, @dainsleif-when-playable, @umiloa, @intpessimistic, @keiiqq, @intpessimistic, @eutopiastar, @matcha-mintea

[madamechrissy]

hiiii i fell in love with all your stories and drabbles, your writing is sooo insanely good 🗣🔥 could we get some drabbles with the jjk guys x busty/curvy reader? (perhaps also self conscious about her body) <333

Thank you so muchh, you're the sweetest omg! I so appreciate your compliment ��� I hope you enjoy this one love! <3 (I have big titties lol - my prof pic is me - so I love this idea) Here is one with Satoru!

Pairings- Satoru x busty reader-

explicit- 1.3k words

♡ ♡ You Cryin baby? ♡ ♡

"Oh fuck, baby look at them jiggle. So pretty f'me." Satoru says softly, as he's sucking on your nipples with his hot mouth, squishing your breasts in his hands, even though his hands are huge your tits are spilling over. He's so enamored as you're on his lap, his thick length pressing against you, where you're getting wet.

"Toru, they're too big." You whine out then, and he glares his pretty blue eyes up at you, his pink lips slick with his own saliva as he licks his lips, salivating at how pretty your titties look.

"Too big? Pft, they're so fucking pretty, baby. You were hiding these so well I didn't even know." Satoru's sucking a nipple into his mouth, squishing your breasts as he looks at you under those snowy lashes, and you feel yourself getting so wet. You're whining out, grinding on him for more.

"Satoru, please, more." You beg, and he laughs a bit, shocking white teeth glinting, as he sucks on your other nipple now, pressure hitting your tummy and making it clench.

"You're so needy for me, huh baby? Lemme appreciate these titties first, I wanna fuck em so bad." Satoru's hands trail down your little waist, to your rounded hips and then your ass, groaning as he feels it. "Fuck you hiding an ass too? These uniforms are shit."

You giggle breathlessly. "You didn't notice my ass!?"

"Not in these stupid uniforms no. You're a whole little goddess in here." Satoru unzips your skirt then, you both wear uniforms at your college, and you tend to wear baggy ones to hide your curves, but Satoru is whistling as he stands you up, walking around with his long, lanky body, smacking your ass and watching it jiggle.

"Hey!" You squeal, only in a thong now, you cover up just a bit, and he puts your arm down, shaking his head.

"Oh no, lemme look at this body, fuck." Satoru's on his knees now, spreading your ass cheeks and then turning you, watching your lush, full breasts bounce as he's kissing your soft tummy. You tremble, giggling at the tickling sensation, as you brush his snowy white hair back. "Gorgeous. Mwah, mwah, mwah!" He's smacking kisses all over your thighs, with little noises, and you rest back against Satoru's desk, head falling back.

"I was so nervous, on a date with you." You admit, you had been Satoru's friend for a long time, and he'd surprised you asking you out tonight, you'd had so much fun it took no convincing to want to come back to his dorm.

He smirks up at you, stupidly handsome, now pulling your thong between your puffy lips, you gasp at the sensation, hands trembling as you grip his shoulders. "Nervous, why baby? Mmm, you smell so good." He's burying his face against you, his cheeks flush, you're soaking your panties embarassingly, forming a dark wet spot on lacy white panties.

"Um, because you're so handsome, and popular, and-"

"And you're so pretty baby. All over I bet." He raises a white brow and you nod shyly, blushing so furiously, he smirks at that, lowering your panties finally and groaning as he sees your pretty pussy. "Oh my god... lemme just... mwah!"

You giggle as he pecks a kiss on the hood of your pussy, but the giggle turns into a moan when his long tongue flicks up, as he's seperating your folds, now you're screaming out, gushing wetness all over his pretty face. Satoru's moaning, tongue sliding into your entrance, nose bumping your clit, sipping up everything as he squishes your plush thighs. "Oh my god! Toru!"

"Mmm..." He's drinking you up, and one of your thick thighs is up on his shoulder, as he slips two long fingers inside you, looking up as he slips past your gummy little walls, pressing that spongy spot that makes you see black dots, so good you're soaking him. "Play with those titties, please, lemme watch."

You nervously grab them, your small hands barely can contain them as they spill over, and he's moaning, lapping at your clit as you do, he's so hard he's straining against his blue jeans, precum sticking to his boxers. He wants to watch them bounce so badly as he fucks up into your perfect pussy.

Satoru knew you were beautiful, but he never saw your body, all these years you cover up, and now that he would make you his, he'd make sure you dress slutty as fuck, at least around him. You're cumming all over his mouth, so yummy as he drinks your arousal, then he's standing, lifting you up with ease, you cling to him nervously, you're so cute he thinks.

Satoru's sitting now, and you're straddling him on the bed, so nervous, biting your lower lip, and your lush breasts are pressed together as you balance on him, as he's rubbing your bare cunt against his cock, still in his boxers, and you're soaking him, head falling back. Satoru kisses your pretty throat, before turning his attention back you your perfect tits.

"Fuck, ride me and lemme watch em bounce, please baby." He says with a pout, wathching you melt, become a mess for him.

"They'll just... jiggle all over! I haven't been with but one guy and I didn't ride him." You whisper, only for Satoru to pull his cock out, and you see how pretty it is as your stroke it, from the base to his pink tip. "Toru, you're so big!"

"Take what you want, use me pretty. Lemme watch these bounce in my face." Satouru's burying his face between them, as you ease down on his cock, feeling just the tip get you off, earning his satisfied groan, as he pulls you down, fingers digging in the fat of your hips as you sink down. "Fuck, so tight... oh my god..."

"Toru!" You're shaking as you're soaking him down the length of his cock, clinging to him, as his hands go back to your breasts, and he's biting, sucking and licking them, leaving trails of saliva and red marks as you whine, trying to take in every sensation.

"Ride me, baby, you can do it. Aw, you cryin?" He whispers, as tears form in your eyes, trailing down your cheeks at how full you are, how good it feels. You nod, and he smirks then, laying on his back, pulling you forward, now your tits are right in his face, hair falling like a curtain to your side. "Need me to take over? Too weak?"

"Fuck you, Toru... but yes, please." You beg, and he's slamming his thick, long cock into you, over and over, your head falls back as he hits your cervix, tip dragging on your gspot, as you're cumming so hard you can't see. Your tears of pleasure keep dripping down your face, as he's using your ass to drag you up and down his length, over and over. "Toru!"

"Mmm, that's it baby, you're doing such a good job." He whispers, smacking both ass cheeks, which jiggle in response, now decorated with two big hand prints. "Cum on me, please pretty girl?" He pleads, and of course you do, over and over, until you are weak, and he's still enamored by how your titties jiggle, making you never ever want to hide them again, at least not from Satoru.

"Toru... too much..." You gasp out later, as he's on top of you, and your thighs are squishing your breasts in a mating press, and he's got you folded, grinning as he strokes in and out of your perfect cunt.

"That's it, pretty girl, you can take it. Gonna fill you up so good, imagine your titties pregnant gonna be even bigger?" You blink then, as his blue eyes go mad, and he's bruising your cervix. "Aw pretty, s'okay, gonna put a baby in you. Yeah?"

Fuck...

"Please pretty?" He pouts with those pretty pink lips, and you're done for.

Gojo Drabbles - Masterlist

[xmalfoyweasleyx]

Why do you keep laughing? - Azriel x reader

Summary: you got drunk at Rita's and ask Az to come get you, so he takes care of you, leading up to you being desperate for your mate.

A/N: I wrote something like this for Lucien, and I loved it so I decided to write this for some other characters too :) I think I'm gonna do some good old angst for Az next (but with a happy ending), you can send me ideas if you want to xx

Warnings: suggestiveness, drunk reader

“Azzie!” you screech, running into Azriel’s arms when you finally realize he's walking through the front door of Rita’s. Az’s suspicions were right, you were indeed very drunk. Luckily, you called him through your bond to pick you up. “What are you doing here?! I didn’t expect you” you blush shyly like he hadn’t been your mate for the last 50 years.

So that makes your excitement clear, you didn’t remember calling him. “You called me to pick you up baby” he explains, stroking your back slowly. Az startles when you let out a sudden scream. “Ah! I love this song! Please come dance with me” you squeal, not waiting for his answer, grabbing him by the arm and pulling him with you on the dance floor. It was obvious you were way to drunk to properly dance, but with him holding you it wasn’t that bad. You started moving together, both smiling broadly. Azriel couldn’t help but melt when he saw the look of pure joy on your face, happily moving around.

He got even more excited when you turned around and started to rub your ass against him, slowly but sloppily grinding against him. You pulled your arms around his neck behind you. His shadows were dancing around you too, twisting around your legs and your stomach, trying to pull you even closer to him. You've always loved dancing like this with him and Az was sure he loved it even more.

He grabs your hand and turns your front into him again. You cry out a shout of happiness as you let him spin you around, but Azriel knew the move was a mistake when he saw your expression, your smile gone and a weary look on your face. “You okay baby?” he asks concerned. “Little nauseous” you breathe out. “Wanna go home baby?” he proposes. You nodded. “Do you wanna winnow with the nausea or do you want me to fly you?” “I’ll try to not throw up when you fly” you sigh.

While you’re flying home, your face is comfortably placed in his neck. “Hmm” you hum into the warm and soft skin. “I l-love you, and I loved d-dancing with you” you stuttered drunkenly. “I love you too baby” he whispered, placing a soft kiss on your head. 

When you get home he gently places you on your bed, pressing a kiss on your flushed cheek. “You take such good care of me baby, my sweet Illyrian boy“ you whine lazily, grabbing his cheeks between your fingers. Az can’t help but get flustered. “C’mon, let’s get you some sleeping clothes” he says while lovingly rubbing his thumb over you cheek. “You’re sooo sweet, I have a little secret... I wanna- I wanna date you” you mumble shyly. Azriel leans his head back and barks out a loud laugh, making you look very confused and hurt. “Why are you laughing, it’s not funny” you whine, tears forming in your eyes and lower lip trembling.

“You are my mate y/n, we’re married” he laughs. “Oh my god, that’s amazing Az, I always wanted to be your mate” you squeal, pulling him in for a big hug with such forse he falls into the bed with you. “I’m so happy” you sigh in his ear, your eyes teary. Your happiness makes his heart pound in his chest. With him laying on top of you, your face pushed in his neck, it seemed like his smell suddenly made you feral.

You started placing kisses over his neck. “Please Azzie, wanna ruin you” you try, but he only laughs, even though he can’t help but blush a little because of your words and the kisses. “Why d-do you keep laughing, I’m s-serious, you look soooo good in those Illyrian leathers baby” you stutter annoyed. “You’re drunk baby” he objects. “Doesn’t matter, I want you so bad, please” you whine, pulling him closer on top of you. “Next time sweetie” he promises, mustering up all his self control.

“But.. but I.. I wanna make a child with you. Please I want to try, don’t you?” you confess. Az freezes on top of you. Where did that come from? Since when did you want this. You’ve never really talked about this before. “You really want that?” he questions. “Yes let’s try” you whisper, but it comes out too softly and your eyes are already closing. So Az laid next to you, pulling you close to him. Promising himself he will ask you about this tomorrow, when you're in a better state.

You place your hand on his chest with a sigh, rubbing over the muscles underneath his shirt. “No, no sleep, still want you Azzie” you mumble, trying to grind on his leg. “Tomorrow, I’ll make it up to you, I promise” he smiles. “You’re gonna ruin me tomorrow?” you say sleepily. He can’t help but laugh at your choice of words. “I’ll ruin you tomorrow” he chuckled in confirmation. “Good” was the last thing you whisper before you fall asleep in your mates arms. And let’s say, he kept his promise the next day.

[uc1wa]

18+ minors dni

OCT. 1 — KINKTOBER ‘23

PUBLIC SEX & SEX POLLEN WITH DICK GRAYSON

ktober m.list

tags: fem reader, breeding, noncon photography

it wasn’t unusual for dick to go on patrol in the early hours of the evening. after all, being the oldest son in his family, the man was given—and took—the tasks and times in which his siblings didn’t want

8PM was the time when you saw your boyfriend on the news, snapshots and lives videos being taken through windows of the vigilante nightwing successfully placing poison ivy under arrest. handcuffs were placed on her wrists that rested against her back, defeat filling her face as nightwing was quick to make his escape before police had flooded the area.

9:30PM was the time you were supposed to meet your boyfriend at the wine bar you chose. thirty minutes after he finished patrol, giving him just enough time to freshen up and put on a nice outfit for you. though; he had arrived exactly one minute prior, walking in with furrowed eyebrows and a tight lip—contrast to the soft smile you were putting on display for him.

"hi baby," you greeted once he was in audible distance. without a beat to acknowledge your words, a single greeting upon you, he’s placing his hand on your arm."let’s go," he says, standing beside your form that’s sat at a high top.

your brows furrow as you watch dick, the way his face held close to no emotion, the way his aura felt as if a cloud was hanging over it, he felt so dark.

"what..? we made reservations here for tonight," you remind the man, this date planned earlier in the day. planned around dick’s schedule most of all. but, dick doesn’t care as only one thing is occupying his mind.

his hand takes hold of yours, pulling it enough for it to fall off the table and enough for you to know he wasn’t joking. enough to know that, despite protests, you weren’t staying long enough to finish the glass of wine that had your lip stains on it.

without another word, you’re following dick out the door and down the sidewalk. but, he’s quick to turn a corner down an alleyway that’s eerily dark and empty.

"i’m not-" you start knowingly when his form is pushing you against the rough brick wall. his lips attached to your neck without another thought.

"please, fucking dammit, just listen," he pulls his wet lips off your skin to say, his voice rough until he’s looking at your widened eyes. "i’m fucking you here, you already made me wait enough. was gonna make that pussy mine in the bathroom of wherever the fuck, but you didn’t wanna," his words fall as sweet as honey despite that vulgar tone to it. despite the way his hand falls against your throat, pushing more and more with every words he says.

"i’m fucking you here whether you like it or not, yeah baby?" he leans into your ear, "gonna have you walking home with cum dripping out your pretty pussy. lick it all up when we get home," dick breathes out a laugh, both hands moving under your thighs to press you up against the wall.

he’s glad you decided on a dress tonight, because he didn’t feel like ripping fabric off of your skin at the moment.

and you’re glad that your boyfriend is a vigilante that knows every alley and every dimly lit street in gotham. while you had no idea where you were, you knew that dick had the awareness of his surroundings… and if he didn’t, he was still a vigilante.

one hand remains under your thighs while the other goes down to his pants, taking the button off and ripping his zipper down. his movements are quick, but you don’t have the capacity to think about why dick is this fucking horny.

while dick’s usually great with before care, despite how many times the two of you have fucked and made love, you’re biting into his neck in attempt to conceal the scream leaving your throat as his full length thrusts into you in one go.

it would’ve helped if dick had told you he’d dealt with ivy tonight, telling you more than what the news had. would’ve helped to know that the pollen in which she extinguished through vines and flowers had gone straight to dick’s bloodstream. straight to his cock, the only thing he was capable of thinking with as he found you where the two of you were supposed to meet.

but, dick hadn’t of even had the occurrence. only knowing that he wanted to stuff your pussy full, and blamed it on his own sexual frustrations of not getting enough of you the past week.

"fucking-slow, dick," you say loudly, but the man who was pulling out only to slam back in couldn’t give a fuck. couldn’t care if you screamed, because nobody was coming down here, and his movements were allowing him some sense of relief.

shouldn’t you be grateful that you’re stuffed with cock? the one that’s molded your cunt perfectly to the size of it?

the pain begins to subside, and instead an overwhelming pleasure that you’re usually eased into, comes rushing all at once. your body burning despite the autumn breeze that swept through the air, the sweater that adorned your arms falling to the ground. it doesn’t matter, dick’ll buy you another.

the groans that escape your throat start turning into moans, and you can feel the cocky smirk that your boyfriend pulls against your skin. "oh, now you want it, huh? now you wanna be all pretty-fuck- on my cock?"

his words are deep as he growls them out, nothing in comparison to the pretty moans and whimpers you attempt to conceal. but dick is shameless, fucking you without a care in the world that there’s passerby’s on the street that are definitely looking in the alleyway you both are.

your face turns red as you realize the fact. realize that, if there was an actual light in your vicinity, paparazzi would have a field day, and your naked pussy would be all over the gotham times the very next day! instead, the silhouette of two connected bodies and a symphony of nasty sounds is the only thing that everyone else gets a peak at.

it turns dick on that much more, watching the way your eyes widen when you look at everyone else.

"what, don’t want everyone knowin’ how much of a slut you are?" dick questions, fucking you enough to put you in a daze. fucking you enough that, you can’t make out quite exactly what he’s saying, but when you hear the name he’s called you, you’re clenching around his length. "fuckin’ whore," he starts, "felt that pretty pussy squeezing me… c’mon, ya better cum all around this cock."

it’s sinister, the darkness in his eyes, the black hairs that are sticking to his forehead, the beads of sweat that are falling from the tip of his nose onto your flushed skin. "’m close, fuck, ‘m really close. please, wanna cum," a chant leaves your lips, and dick’s hands squeeze the flesh underneath your thighs.

his own flexing at an alarming rate. you’re not quite sure how his stamina is working hand in hand with his movements, but, he works harder to fill you with his milky cum, surprised he hasn’t finished yet.

but, maybe he has without realizing it. wanting to stuff you ‘till he’s dripping out of you for the nth time.

"that’s right, keep squeezing me, baby," dick groans, lips finding the skin where your neck meets your shoulder. sucking and biting on the skin that he’s positive is red and puffy by now. a pretty bruise taking the place of his teeth by the morning.

as the word leaves dick’s lips, you’re squeezing enough to have cum filling you, the mixture of yours and dick’s dripping down your thighs and making a ring at the base of the member which just abused you.

but, dick stops thrusting while leaving himself inside of you, allowing you to catch your breathe before he breaks away and is the reason you’re feeling empty.

you whimper once’s he is pulling out, one hand allowing you to find the ground gracefully, while the other moves between your legs, tapping the swollen entrance that’s slicked and filled with a mixture of him and yourself.

"better hold it all in," dick warns, because that was simply round one of the night. that was simply the start to the long evening that—the thought of—was already making the man painfully hard when taking your hand on the walk home.

☆

you swore you didn’t see a single camera flash! swore that you didn’t see anybody recognize either of your faces! but when you’re collecting the mail the very next day, your stomach drops as you read the headline.

‘playboy dick grayson goes all out in public with his housewife!’

🏷️: @petriquors @harleycao @idyllcy @aviixol

happy kinky season u freaks

[sophsbookstore]

Sims Stream

Lando Norris x reader ｡･:*˚:✧｡

Word Count: 1,354

“So, what do you want to do today?” a shirtless Lando said, coming up and hugging me from behind as I make us breakfast.

I turn around, giving him a quick yet passionate kiss before turning back around, just finishing preparing a fruit salad for the both of us, his head nessling between mine and my shoulder, his arms wrapping around my waist.

“Your day off has barely started and you're already bored huh?” I laugh, a smile creeping onto his lips.

“I already trained, did simulator practice, took a nap, and now I want to hang out with you my love.” He squeezes me tighter as I nestle into him.

“Well I was going to stream sims today.” I make my final cut, mixing all the fruit together before putting some in a nearby bowl and handing it to Lando. He gives me a thank you, before turning to lean against the kitchen counter, now facing me.

“I could join you.” he states, scarfing down the fruit, taking a few pieces of fruit from my bowl as well.

“We cant join games” I frown, wishing he could stream with me today.

“I know, you always watch me play video games, I wanna watch you play something you really like doing” he smiles, placing both his and my empty bowls in the sink, wrapping up the leftovers and placing them in the fridge.

I take his hand in mine, leading him to my office/game room. I pull up a chair for him, placing a pillow on the seat as well as the back of the back of the chair for comfort. As I get settled, He takes the armrest of my chair, pulling it closer to him. I drape a blanket over both our legs and start the stream, the sims loading screen shining bright in the backlit room.

As we start talking both to one another and the stream chat, more and more people start joining, freaking out at the sight of Lando and I streaming together for the first time. Chat being so used to just hearing Lando, and never seeing him. Lando starts talking to chat, telling them how excited he is to play with me.

Soon the game fully loads, I choose to start a new game, not wanting to ruin any of the storylines I have going with my other sims lore. “Why don't you make us? We can live out our lives through the sims” Lando asks. Chat, all Lando fans, loving his idea and agreeing immediately.

Embarrassed, I go to my library and select the premade Lando I had made just a few months back on another stream. “Already did.” I blush with embarrassment, he turns to me with a big grin on his face, getting closer to the monitor screen to observe his custom made sim.

“You did so good love, thank you for making me look so handsome” he says leaning closer to me, giving me a forehead kiss. As he gets closer, he moves his hand from his lap to start squeezing my thigh. I lean into his body, moving the armrest out of the way, holding his arm that's squeezing my leg. Chat absolutely loses it at the interaction, spamming mom and dad in the chat.

Once we make some adjustments to our sims outfits we start the game, going into a random starter house, customizing the interior to our liking with what little funds we have, and finding jobs for our respective sims. “Can I be an F1 driver here?” he questions.

“No, but you can be an athlete” he makes a sad face, not getting what he wanted. “The good thing is, there's a lot of job options in the game” this perks him up. I continue to scroll though the list, showing and describing all the jobs to Lando.

“WAIT WAIT WAIT I CAN BE A SECRET AGENT” he practically screams. “Why didn't you tell me, that's way cooler.” 

Lando picks the job of secret agent, I settle with the streamer career, wanting my sim to be as accurate as possible. 

“Can you fuck in the sims?” Lanod says out of nowhere. I playfully smack him on the shoulder.

“Lando there's kids watching, also our sims aren't even dating yet, they are just roommates.”

“How come sim Lando hasn't asked out sim Y/N yet?”

“Maybe he's too scared, sim Y/N is way too hot for sim Lando” I shrug, Lando giving me a side eye. “Dont side eye me, I said what I said, chat did I lie?” chat clearly siding with me.

“Tell sim Lando to ask out sim Y/N, we have to date her before anyone else tries to steal my girl” Blushing, I click on my sim, making Lando's in game alter ego flirt with her.

Soon, my sim walks away from Lando's, moving away to talk to another nearby towns person. Lando watches in disbelief as my sim, against my control, starts talking to another man. “WHAT THE HELL” he stares at the screen, sitting up a little more. Chat going absolutely insane, clipping the moment to probably use for another couples compilation.

“I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING, SHE DID THAT ALL ON HER OWN” I argued back. Lando takes the controls, choosing my character and moving her away from the random sim man, to go back to talking to him.

“How do I kill someone in the sims?” he questions, going to the settings and looking around for a kill button.

“You can't, I dont have the mod.” I laugh, holding my stomach with laughter, pulling him away from the screen, to go back to cuddling me.

“Can we download it? I want him dead, he tried to take my girl” lando pouts.

We continued the game, Lando and I switching off the controls whenever we wanted our charters to do something. Soon enough, Sim Lando and Sim Y/N start dating. Lando and I both chanted “kiss, kiss, kiss” when they shared their first kiss with one another.

“Does this mean that we can fuck now” Lando turns to me waiting for my approval.

I sigh, a smile forming on my lips. “Yes lando, they can now.” he cheers, taking the mouse and clicking on the bed, happily selecting the woohoo button.

I take the mouse back from him, moving the game to show a different room. “I don't want to show it on stream, it's an invasion of privacy '' I look at him sternly, he silently nods in agreement.

We wait a couple more seconds, talking to chat about anything that comes to mind until finally seeing the notification that they are done. Lando grabs the mouse before I can, clicking on my sims and taking her to the bathroom. “Lando, what are you doing?” I ask confused.

“I wanna see if Sim Y/N is pregnant.” 

“LANDO WHAT!” I shout taking the mouse back from him instantly. We’re both waiting anxiously (for different reasons) for the notification of sim Y/N’s status. I let out a sigh of relief when she's not.

Lando slumps back in his chair. “Lando what were you thinking? They've only been dating for a day! It's far too soon for them to have a baby! They barely have any money, no space, do you need me to go on?” I lecture him, moving the controls slightly away from him so he cant make anymore rash decisions.

“I just wanted to see what a little us would look like” he said sadly, it breaks my heart, chat spamming awww’s in the chat. “I know it's too soon, I just got excited.”

“Lando it's ok, how about the next stream, we MAYBE have them try?” this perks him up.

“Really! You mean it? Everyone spam baby names in the chat, we’ll use the best one.'' Lando starts talking to the chat about how excited he is for the next stream, and virtual fatherhood.

As I watch Lando go on and on about this potential sim baby, I can't help but get excited for the day it happens in real life.

[hoe4hotchner]

could you imagine dating gen z reader who's playing around with tiktok filters and hotch is so confused

I can't quite describe how me-coded this turned out to be. I loved this idea so much!!!! | WC: 301

Aaron Hotchner was used to chaos. Every day, he lived and breathed chaos at work. He had led the team through life-or-death situations more times than he could count. But nothing quite prepared him for the moment he stepped into the living room and heard you practically screaming the musical scale at your phone.

“Do, re, mi, fa, SOOO,” your voice cracked, and you groaned dramatically, trying again. “SOOOOO! Bingo!”

“La, ti, DOOOO!”

Hotch blinked, frowning at the high-pitched, slightly painful sounds echoing through the room. You were sprawled under a thick blanket, blue light glasses perched on the bridge of your nose, your phone practically touching your face.

“Honey… what’s going on?” he asked, his tone bewildered yet calm as if he was trying to make sense of a particularly confusing case.

You lowered your phone just enough to glance at him with a grin. “I’m using this filter on TikTok. I’m trying to hit the notes, but it’s, like, impossible.” You turned your phone to let him see the screen, even though you knew he wouldn’t understand anything at all.

He raised a brow, approaching cautiously like he was stepping into unfamiliar territory. “And that’s why you’re… shouting?”

“It’s for science,” you said with mock seriousness, trying again, “DOOOOOO!”

Hotch winced slightly at the pitch. “Right… science.”

You laughed, pulling the blanket tighter around yourself. “Wanna try?”

He shook his head, amused but still utterly lost. “I think I’ll leave this one to you.” He leaned down, placing a soft kiss on your forehead. “But maybe lower the volume before the neighbors think something’s wrong.”

You giggled, pausing the app. “Fine, fine. But just wait — next time, I’ll get all the notes.”

He smiled, walking toward the kitchen with a shake of his head. “I’m sure you will.”

[rosenclaws]

Hi love, I hope you’re doing well! I’ve been a fan of (stalking but let’s not talk about it) your blog for a little while, but this is the first time I’ve sent in a request for you! Your writing for Leopold is literally the sweetest ever and you’re the only writer I know of that actively writes for him, it’s so dry out here!! I was wondering if I could request something fluffy with Leopold x fem!reader where is like the most tooth-rotting fluff you can think of. I’m talking him trying to court the reader even though it’s the modern day and that’s not really a thing anymore and shes a bit confused but loves it, a super touchy reader that loves to shower Leo with her affection, literally anything. Those are just ideas, feel free to be as creative as you’d like (and don’t be shy if you wanna make it a longer fic, I’ll take what I can get). This fandom (if I can even call it that) is such a barren wasteland for fanfics and you are such an amazing writer for him and just in general!!

Much love 💕

Courting || Leopold Mountbatten x Reader

a/n: Hi!! Okay I kinda took this in a slightly different direction so if its not what you wanted then plz feel free to send in another request (ik they're closed but I will make an exception) ALSO FUCK HES SO HANDSOME IM GONNA SCREAM

wc: 1.2k

warning: reader wears lipstick

The last thing you expected was to find a neatly written letter waiting for you when you got home. Pinned neatly to the door with a small rose attached to it. You recognized Leopold's handwriting immediately, no one else you know has such beautiful penmanship.

There’s a flutter of butterflies in your stomach as you open the letter. You and Leopold have gotten very close to each other. He’s unbelievably charming and so sweet and he’s just everything. The way he looks at you, it makes you feel like the only one in the world.

Hello my love,

I am writing to ask if you would do me the honor of accompanying me to dinner and a show this Friday night. I have found myself completely captured by your beauty, you live in my every thought. Every breath I breathe for you and every beat of my heart calls your name. I wish to court you and have the honor of calling you mine.

Your dearest Leopold

You read the letter once, and then again and again. Your fingers trace each letter. Never have you had anyone say something so precious to you before. The rose smells fresh and sweet, he must have gotten it this morning. You hurry to write him a reply, accepting his offer with great enthusiasm.

Folding the letter you press your lips the corner of the paper leaving a lipstick mark. Leopold lives just down the hall so you walk over. Just as you’re about to slip the letter under the door it swings open.

“Leo!” You squeak out as stand back up, almost knocking your head into his chest.

"Hello darling." He's dressed in casual clothes and my god you need to thank whoever introduced him to sweatpants. Anyways.

"I see you received my letter." You bite your lip as you hand over your letter. His name written as fancy as you can.

"Yeah, it was really sweet Leo." He takes the letter and you swear he blushes a little when he sees the lipstick mark. He stares at you for a while, with that perfect smile and gorgeous eyes.

"I uh, I'll see you Friday." His eyes light up at your words.

"I'll see you Friday my love." He takes your hand and kisses your knuckles.

You manage to keep it together as he shuts the door but once you make it back to your apartment you're melting. A giddy feeling you haven't felt in years. You have to wonder how he will attempt to court you in modern day. People don't really court anymore but all you care about is that you have a date with Leopold. Friday couldn't come fast enough.

You had never felt this nervous before. Spending way too long getting ready just to be done an hour early. It's just Leopold, you know Leopold. There's no reason to be nervous but you can't stop the tornado of worry brewing inside of you.

What if something goes wrong? Or the date goes horrible? What if he decides he doesn't like you anymore? What if this ruins your friendship. You shake your head and try to dispel any bad thoughts.

Tonight was going to be great. It has to be. There's a knock at the door and you quickly double check everything before opening it. Any worry still residing in your mind disappears. A beautiful bouquet of flowers is handed to you as Leopold is dressed to the nines. A crisp white shirt and black pants.

"They're beautiful." You say admiring the flowers. Fresh and absolutely gorgeous.

"Not as beautiful as you." Leopold says, barely at a whisper. Like he can't believe that you've even agreed to a date with him. He can't help but admire everything about you. To your smile, your beauty, your laugh, your voice. You're perfect.

You place the flowers in a vase and then the two of you are off. He rests his hand on your back as you walk through the city. His thumb draws circles in your back as you approach the restaurant. He's planned everything himself and he can't help but hope it's enough for you.

Dinner is lovely and the conversation flows without any awkwardness. You're talking to your friend Leopold but you know there's something more as you slowly get closer to each other as the night goes on. Hidden away in the corner booth you are free to get lost in each others eyes. Though you wish you could stay here all night he promised a show. Leopold loved the theater and he promised one day to take you and tonight was the night.

"How did you get such good seats?" You ask as he waits for you to sit before he does.

"I have my ways darling." You're hyper aware of just how close the two of you had gotten at dinner and how close you are now.

The show is interesting yes but Leopold was a very distracting man. Your hands inch closer together. Glancing over at Leopold you find him already looking at you. He waits for your silent approval, not wanting to cross an boundaries. So you take the leap. Intertwining your hands together.

A faint blush on his face and a big smile on yours. His hands are so warm and they fit so perfectly with your hand. When the show ends you reluctantly head back home. You don't want this night to end. Your hands swing together as you gush about the play.

"I had a wonderful night Leopold," You're leaning against your door, wanting so badly to keep the night going. His hair swoops perfectly in front of his forehead and he's got this pretty smile that you can't stop staring at.

"So did I, Thank you for accompanying me tonight." His eyes drift to your lips.

It's adorable seeing just how old school he really is. You know he's from 1876 but still. Modern boys pale in comparison to Leopold.

"You know you don't have to be so nervous Leo, I want to kiss you too." You say boldly.

He chuckles, ducking his head as bites his lip softly. He cups your face gently and you close eyes as he gently captures your lips in a kiss. He's gentle and sweet and you crave more. Still he pulls away much too soon. You pout slightly and he laughs.

"I know I'm much more traditional than you're used to." He traces your lips with his thumb. Admiring every little detail of your face.

"But someone as wonderful as you deserves to be treated with the upmost respect." He kisses your forehead gently.

"You deserve to be loved," Another kiss.

"To be cherished," Another.

"And to be worshiped." Words fail you completely. Leopold has rendered you utterly speechless.

"Did I overstep?" He asks, worried about you silence.

You shake your head. practically jumping into him as you kiss him. Passionately running your hands through his hair. He groans slightly as you tug on his hair. He pushes you against the wall, bracing your head with his hand as he kisses back.

"I'm falling in love with you." He whispers. A hopeful glint in his eyes.

"I'm already in love with you." You admit.

You become lost in his lips as he kisses you again. He just can't get enough. You blindly reach for the door handle and without argument pull him inside of your apartment.

Soft kisses and laughter are shared quietly between the two of you. Time ticks by but you have lost all sense of care in the world. All that matters to you is this moment. Your fairytale come to life. And it was just perfect.

[chiiyuuvv]

• PAIRING — bestfriend!xikers x gn reader (i think)

• GENRE — "imagine if we were dating" prompt, shy, fluff, angst in minjaes, screaming at hunters, yeah

• WORD COUNT — 880

• AUTHOR'S NOTE — i got this idea when i was reading some skz texts. Basically, you were saying "what if we were dating" but you already dating- wait lemme just

• TAGLIST — @lil-elle @hyunukitty

MASTERLIST! – JOIN THE TAGLIST!

MINJAE ☆

Doesnt find your joke funny

Theres a very clear line of best friends and lovers and besides, theres no possible way you could like him back

Zoning out a lot, trying to understand his feelings more when he just blurts out what was on his mind. Because you guys are close, he could tell you anything, right?

“No, no its fine. I know you obviously dont like me and it’s okay, i just wanted to get it off my chest. Im sorry i made you uncomfortable.”

He was already on the verge of tears, but when you tell him you love him, more than just friends, he just bursts out crying ♡

JUNMIN ☆

Just goes along with it

Holds your hand, puts his arm around your shoulder. Refuses to call you by your name but babe

Likes that your getting flustered because hes screaming on the inside

Gets so into his role that he leans into you, your noses touching and hes about to kiss you. Until wait a minute and just pulls back with a sheepish smile

Daydreams for the rest of the day about the almost kiss. And when he drops you to your house, he finally does it ♡

SUMIN

Freezes; were you reading his thoughts? Were you able to somehow see his dreams? H-how did you know??

He tries to play it cool even though his face is burning red. "Y-yeah.. that'll be crazy right?! Haha.." he clears his throat

But to his dismay, you already knew about the massive crush he had on you, as he was very obvious

So you use that to your advantage, scooting extra close to him, your hands shadowing over his small ones

"I like you too, stupid." You would laugh, placing a soft kiss on his cheek as his face gets even redder ♡

JINSIK ☆

"Yeah, imagine if we were dating." He would take it as a joke, lying down and fantasizing about your lifes as a couple

"I would take you to this hot air balloon festival, since i know you've always wanted to go."

Has this smile on his face until he stops; were you actually serious?

You had to be joking, there was no way this was directed to him, right?

Almost stops breathing and his mouth is dropped open when you kiss his cheek. "I like you, jinsik." ♡

HYUNWOO ☆

Your question honestly made him sad

Because wdym “what if you were dating?” no, he didnt want to pretend. He wanted to live his dreams, he wanted to be with you

So he gets a little quiet, looking down as hes lost in his thoughts, a little teary eyed

Snaps out of it when you call his name, and would say he’s okay even though you know he’s lying

So with all courage, you confess to him. And when you’re done, he’d pour his heart out to you ♡

JUNGHOON ☆

He’s completely taken aback, the silence making you feel a little uneasy

“B-but i mean.” wouldnt even let you talk without pressing his lips against yours, his face completely red but he doesnt care

Would kiss you again if you tried to talk, getting to the point where hes just peppering your face with kisses

Would have the whole rant about how much he loves you

Then it would be your turn to cut him off with a kiss ♡

SEEUN ☆

Also freezes; the first time hes speechless

Theres a long awkward silence, your faces red and seeun twiddling with his thumbs

"I mean I- well we- or m-maybe-" struggles to find words

"We can definitely start it slow.. i-i mean, it you wanna, i can understand if you dont b-but you decide haha!!!"

After you agree that you wanna take it slow, he would have this shy smile on his face, holding both of your hands, looking down the entire time ♡

YUJUN ☆

Would have the cutest smile on his face

“Dating??” the giggles he would let out, gosh

Like jinsik, he would fantasize about how everything would go, his ears red

But that turns into convincing you to go on a date with him. He’d treat you so well, buying anything you want

“I mean.. I wouldnt mind. I already love you and i know you do too, so why not we just make it offical?” ♡

HUNTER ☆

"If we were dating?" He would stop as you were walking through the park

Has this cheeky smile on his face. "I think i would do this."

Grabs both of your hands with a warm smile, checking to see if you were comfortable before tucking some hair behind your ears, his eyes filled with love

"You're so pretty." He would mumble as he picks a flower out of a bush next to you

Lifts up your chin and slowly connects your lips, moving in a slow but meaningful pace ♡

YECHAN ☆

The boy would not stop giggling

"I-if we were dating?" He would burst out laughing, making you think he's making fun of the question

Would stop laughing when he notices your frown

"I-I mean.. if we were dating, it would be so nice and we would wake up together and text pick-up lines and-" his face was bright pink as he was rambling

Stops when he notices, "i-i'd think i like it.." ♡

[all-about-kyu]

Summary: Maybe you shouldn’t have pressed his buttons so hard… Pairing: brother’s best friend!Yunho x fem!reader Genre: smut Tropes: brother’s best friend au Rating: R 18+ Warnings: language, some crying  Smut Warnings: hate sex, choking, degradation, dirty talk, unprotected sex, creampie, sub-dropping Word Count: 1,408 Note: we’ve reached the end of Arousal August! I hope you’ve all enjoyed this <3 thank you again to the amazing @mejuii for beta/proofing this!!

Your relationship with Yunho has always been, we’ll say, strained. You can’t stand him despite him being your brother’s best friend and roommate. Something about his stupidly handsome face makes you want to scream. You had come over to their shared apartment with the understanding that Mingi would be there. He had told you he didn’t have anything to do today and that you would have your weekly sibling date today. Yet here you are with no Mingi on the premise. You can hear Yunho in his room doing who knows what. Weighing your options, you end up walking down the short hallway toward his room. You don’t even bother knocking on the doorframe when you get there. Taking one rather nasty look at Yunho, you sigh before speaking.

“Where���s Mingi?” you ask with a sharp tone.

“Hell, if I know. He’s not here, so you can see yourself out. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.” he hisses, not looking up from his laptop.

“Very funny, Yunho. I know you know where he is.” You bite back.

“You’re so fucking nosey. Why don’t you just fucking leave?”

You dare to step into his room and give him a glare from where you were standing. You’re challenging him. He never does anything when Mingi’s around. Now that his best friend isn’t, you want to see if he will. With a smirk plastered on your lips, you walk further into the room and right over to his bookshelf.

“You read some shit books.” You state, running your finger along the spines of the books, “If you want something good to read, I guess I could give you better mat-”

Your words are stolen from your lips when you feel a hand grab your shoulder and spin you around. Yunho is not but a foot from your face. There’s a flame in his eye as he has you there pinned against the wall. After the initial shock, you’re back to where you were. You’re absolutely having too much fun pushing his buttons.

“Damn, Yunho. If you wanted to get me pinned to the wall, you could’ve just asked. Though, I doubt you’d be able to take care of me.” You provoke.

Yunho all but growls and wraps a hand around your throat. He doesn’t put any pressure on your neck, but the presence alone has your heart racing.

“I’m fucking tired of your little attitude,” he says far too calmly.

“What are you gonna do about it?” You fight back, still not daring to move. 

“You want proof I can take care of you?” He offers, slightly putting pressure on the sides of your neck.

“You mean just for me to be right about you not knowing how to? I’d love to.”

Before you can process it, you’re clothes are gone, and you’re pinned down to Yunho’s bed. One of his large hands is wrapped around your throat, causing you to reel in the sensation it’s causing. The other is holding your hip to ensure you don’t squirm too much. Yunho is thrusting into you at an animalistic pace, making you see stars even more. You refuse to give him the satisfaction of hearing you moan, though. How you’re holding your noises back, you have no idea.

“Come on, don’t you wanna let those moans out? Sound like a fucking slut while I fuck you?” he growls.

You shake your head, not trusting your voice in the slightest. 

“What? Can’t use your words? Are you too far gone that you can’t fucking speak?” He chuckles, “If I had known fucking you would get you to shut up, I would’ve done it a long time ago.”

His grip on your throat tightens as his thrusts become harsher. That’s the straw that broke the camel’s back. You let out a loud moan, and once that one escapes, they don’t stop coming. You beg and plead for anything. Yunho is still degrading you with his filthy words that your brain can’t comprehend at the moment. You doubt you’re saying anything intelligible at the moment, anyway. In hopes of getting yourself closer to your high, you attempt to roll your hips into his thrusts. Instead, you’re greeted with a sharp slap to your thigh before his hand reclaims its place on your hip.

“Fuckin’ slut.” he bites, “You take what I give you, understand?”

You nod.

“Use your fucking words. You seem to never shut up any other time.”

“Please!” you beg, tears springing from your eyes, “Please, Yunho! I’m so so close!” you manage to say between moans. 

“You think I’ll- fuck- I’ll let you cum that easily, whore?”

“Yunho, please.” you moan, “Want you to cum inside me.” 

“Oh, is that right?” he asks condescendingly.

“Please!” you beg again, scratching his shoulders.

That’s all it takes to trigger his orgasm. His hips stutter as he cums deep inside you. His sounds, combined with the sloppy thrusts, trigger your high. Your walls flutter around him, and your nails dig deeper into his broad shoulders. He pulls out in one sharp movement and watches how his cum leaks out of you. 

He’s about to walk out of the room when he feels a disturbance in the air. When he turns around, he sees you on the brink of tears sitting on his bed. He isn’t sure what overtakes him, but he immediately swoops you up in his arms and holds you close. You cry quietly for a few moments. Murmuring something about not doing a good job. All Yunho can do is rub your back gently and coax you back into reality.

“You did so well. It was insensitive of me to walk away so soon after,” he says gently. It’s a tone he’s never used with you before.

“You hate me.” You comment weakly, “I don’t blame you for walking away.”

“I don’t,” he states plainly.

“You don’t? Why are you so mean to me whenever-”

He wipes a stray tear from your cheek, “I don’t have an explanation for that. Maybe I was deflecting what I really felt in fear of what Mingi might say.” “I’m a grown woman. I can decide who I date without Mingi’s permission.” You chuckle slightly.

“I know. I know.” he says softly, pressing a kiss into your hair, “Are you fully back with me now?”

“Mhm. I’m processing how sticky I feel now,” you admit.

Yunho chuckles, and you feel the sound vibrate through his chest. 

“Let’s get cleaned up and change the sheets. Then, does cuddling sound good to you?”

“More than.” you smile at him.

After a peaceful shower together and cleaning up the bedroom (including opening a window and lighting a scented candle), you curl up under Yunho’s arm and rest your head against his chest. It’s peace like you’ve never known another person before. It’s ironic how the person you swore you hate is the person you found yourself most at peace with. Then, you hear the front door click open and shut. Neither of you is fully awake, though, not enough to process what the sound was. Just as you open your eyes and process what that sound is, your brother is already busting through Yunho’s previously closed bedroom door. Yunho scrambles to protect your decency, which happens to be tossing himself on top of you. You squeal at the sudden movement.

“You two finally fucked it out?” Mingi asks, sounding hopeful, “It’s been goddamn years of that stupid tension!”

He walks out, forgetting to close the door behind him. Your new boyfriend sighs and gets out of bed to close the door. Just as the door is about to click shut, you hear your brother call through his door.

“If you hurt her or knock her up, I’m reserving the right to murder you still!”

You’re half tempted to walk in there and beat his ass for making that comment, but you can’t find the willpower to get out of Yunho’s comfy bed to do so. Yunho shakes his head and closes the door fully. Climbing back into bed, he wraps his arms around you again.

“How do you think he’ll react when he finds out we fuck raw?”

“Jeong Yunho!”

You smack his chest, and he lets out a bright giggle. Maybe all you really needed was to fuck it out all this time. You never hated him. You’re hopelessly and irrevocably in love with him.

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[remuslupinslittleslut]

Teach us - Part one

@missakward123: can you do dom! reader poly marauders? Also loved this!! Yes I can, but I have such a hard time writing a sub!Remus, so I kinda took it in my own direction.

Part two is found here!

Reader x Remus turned into Reader x Poly!Marauders.

Masterlist.

They thought it was strange how Remus had been the first to lose his virginity out of the three of them. Both Sirius and James had girls throwing themselves after them constantly, but somehow, Remus was the first to go all the way.

You had always found them all quite attractive, but thought that Sirius and James tended to be a bit obnoxious at times. When you saw Remus studying alone in the library one day, you thought you’d go up and say hi to the tall, handsome guy. The two of you had only talked briefly before this interaction, but soon found that you enjoyed each other’s company. It didn’t take long from there for you to go on a date and soon you were a couple. 

Remus, ever the gentleman, didn’t tell his friends about your first time, he thought it was best kept private between the two of you, therefore you always tried to keep it somewhat lowkey, finding time to be perfectly alone. Though any secret could not be held for long in that dorm and one evening the cat came running and screaming out of the bag. You thought you’d get to be alone with Remus, as the other two had practice. As it turned out, however, practice was canceled and the door to the dorm was thrown open just in time for the two surprised boys to see you orgasm, quivering around Remus’ cock.

It slightly ruined the mood and you struggled to cover yourself as Sirius went on a long rampage about “The betrayal! The absolute betrayal. Our baby moons got laid and didn’t tell us. Here he is, having had sex the whole time – while keeping us in the dark.” He was pacing back and forth, only half joking about his distress before deciding to be the bigger person and be happy for his friend. “Good job Moons. First one out of all of us. Amazing.” With a chef’s kiss he left the subject of betrayal and moved on to something else.

After the embarrassing moment of coming in front of your boyfriend’s friends, it didn’t take long before the question was asked.

“Hey Moony, since you already had sex, could you teach us how to do it?”

“Yeah, Moons, I wanna be ready for when Lily lets me go all the way if you catch my drift,” James agreed, with a very unnecessary wink as everyone understood exactly what he meant.

You stared, gaping. That they would ask such a question didn’t surprise you one bit. The fact that Remus seemed to be actually thinking it over did.

“I guess,” he started, patting your thigh, “you’re gonna ask her if she’s willing to teach you.”

You, teaching his friends how to have sex? The idea was preposterous. Yet… It did make you feel a certain tingle between your legs. You still found them attractive, and the thought of being the one to take their virginities? Oh, that was just beautiful. You thought it over in your head. Remus was quite dominant, not really treating you as a submissive but he liked being a bit in control, he’d never let you have all the reigns. These two however… Looking Remus straight in the eye, you searched for any form of hesitance – you didn’t find any.

“Alright then, we’re gonna have to set some rules,” you said.

It was agreed that the day after, you’d help take your boyfriend’s best friends’ virginities. You said 24 hours to give everyone a chance to back out, and told them very specifically that they would shower, properly, “none of that locker room stuff, a real shower, clean everything.” It was best to be clear when dealing with teenage boys.

A whole 24 hours later you found yourself walking up the stairs to their dorm. You knew Remus would be there, and you knew they’d given consent. You wore your school skirt, but without panties, a t-shirt with a very flattering bra and your hair out. You had to get yourself in that dominant mood, ready to boss the boys around. Since becoming Remus’ girlfriend, you had gotten to know his friends as well. You knew James would be easier to dom, and you knew Sirius would be a little brat. Therefore, you started with James. Opening the door, you could cut the tension with a knife.

The boys were so cute and nervous, standing up and waiting for you (not Remus, of course, he was comfortably splayed out on his own bed). “Jamie,” you said. “Do you still wanna do this?” He nodded. “Okay, then take your clothes off and sit down on your bed. You,” you turned to Sirius, “are gonna have to wait your turn.”

When James was naked and seated on the edge of his bed, you took a moment to appreciate his toned body. The moment didn’t last very long though as you wanted to feel him. Climbing into his lap, thighs straddling his, you took his face and held it in your hands. He was so pretty, so soft, so pliable. “Jamie, have you ever kissed a girl?” you asked him, bringing your mouth so close to his that your lips almost touched his. “No,” he said, cheeks flushing red. Holding onto his cheeks, you brought your lips against his, softly at first, then with a little more pleasure. The warm breath from his nose on your cheek sent chills down your spine. Deciding to progress, you slightly opened your mouth, letting your tongue out to lick lightly at his lips. He moaned.

You continued kissing him, making out really, until you felt he was ready to move on. Leaning back a little, you pulled your top over your head, revealing your soft tits, perfectly framed by your bra. “Go ahead, baby, you can touch.” With your permission, warm hands pressed against your back before following the lines of your body, meeting your front and lightly squeezing your tits. You allowed him to explore freely, until he pushed his head down, paused and looked up at you, eyes asking for permission. Instead of answering him verbally, you pushed your tits against his face, letting him know he could kiss and suck all he wanted. He did manage to get your bra off all on his (you were so proud of him), and as it fell to the floor, you felt his cock twitching.

You let him play some more with your boobies before taking his hand, kissing it once and telling him “Jamie, have you ever felt a girl?” When he shook his head, you kissed the top of his head and pushed his hand down, between your bodies and toward your core. “Feel that? I’m all wet, that’s all for you baby,” you cooed, watching his facial expressions in awe – he was so fascinated. “Now, do you know where your little cock is supposed to go?” Little was a big lie. His brows furrowed in concentration as he felt around for the right hole, he did find it, and pushed a finger in. “Good boy, now put your cock in.” You raised yourself, hovering above him, hand coming down to help him push his cock into your warm hole. “Oh that’s a good boy f’me,” you moaned, loving the feeling of him filling you up.

Being so focused on James had almost made you forget about your audience, looking to the side, you met Remus’ hungry eyes. You could tell he was enjoying the show, hand rubbing against the bulge in his pants. You decided not to look at Sirius, making him wait for your attention.

Grabbing James’ shoulders, you carefully tried moving, sliding yourself along his cock, making you both moan. You tried a few different movements, going up and down, back and forth. It felt really good and you enjoyed playing around with it, and it seemed as though he was enjoying it too, his head thrown back, glasses askew and mouth slightly open. Suddenly his hands squeezed hard on your hips, making you stop your movements. “Jamie, you okay?” You asked, massaging his scalp with your fingers. “Yeah,” he reassured, “yeah, just need to… I’m gonna come…”

You giggled softly, “it’s okay if you do, but first, I wanna do one more thing.” Pulling your body away from his was hard, letting his heavy cock fall out of you was even harder, and you immediately mourned the loss. Though, you knew it would be worth it. Laying down flat on your back, you beckoned for him to join you, to climb on top of you. “You should know how to fuck a girl, Jamie,” you said, helping him find his way back into you. His athletic body was made for this, for moving himself back and forth, hips pushing against yours. He didn’t go very fast, but you knew he’d be able to when he got more used to the feeling. Hiding his face against your neck, letting the vibrations of his moans shoot right through you, his hips started making the smallest, cutest, most desperate little movements. “That’s good baby, that’s a good boy, you’re doing so well, so good, making me feel so good.” You didn’t think you’d be able to come, he was a virgin, but the little thrusts pushed the head of his cock against you in a way that just felt too good to hold back.

“Jamie, baby, I’m ‘bout to come,” you moaned, kissing his head, holding him close, “you’re so go- ah-od,” your moans grew louder as you experienced a rather mild orgasm, though, an orgasm nonetheless. Your walls spasming around him made him come as well, pretty cock filling you up with his little virgin cum.

“Wow, Jamie, you did so well, I’m so proud of you,” you told him, after he had pulled out and collapsed on top of you. His head was still buried in the crook of your neck, his breathing fast and hard. “Did you enjoy it?” You asked, to which he pulled his face away, eyes wide. “Like it? That was amazing.”

You stayed like that, letting him hold onto your body for a while, not wanting to leave him without aftercare and love. Though you knew, as soon as James moved away from you, you’d have to deal with his mischievous best friend. Before you let James continue his cuddling – with Remus – you made him promise you something. “Next time love, you’re gonna let me take your cute little cock in my mouth, okay?” To this, he nodded, excitedly.

Part two.

[lucifersdickriderdotnet]

Emergency Contact

Summary: Having siblings sucks. Having siblings who are constantly getting into life threatening situations is worse. 5.9k words.

Disclaimer: as usual, if they're ooc no. uhm. Diavolo and Barbatos are here and they are referred to as Lucifer's boyfriends but it's in like a fun jokey teasing way that siblings do. except Lucifer actually is dating Diavolo in my head so. asmo and solomon ARE dating because I want them to be. maybe next time I'll make solomon date satan. you can only call a man a cute kitty so many times before people get ideas. if you couldn't tell by the title and the summary, people get #sick and break their #bones. oh. there is one (1) cannibalism joke. not demoncest just bros being bros.

Notes: this took so long because I've never written a decent ending in my life and i spent two days on it. also that anon really pissed me off for some reason idk. if you don't like how anyone is characterized write your own fanfiction man idk. solmare doesn't even have consistency with this nonsense. Lucifer is nice to his brothers in this because I want him to be. amen.

It’s a little known fact that Lucifer is everyone’s emergency contact. When it comes to those he cares about, he is protective, almost annoyingly so. So, it makes sense that the person who knows everything about everyone should be in charge if something goes awry. His phone hardly ever rings for emergencies, half because his brothers’ manage to get themselves out of trouble through a series of convoluted and confusing hijinks and half because most of them would rather eat nails than call him to tell him something is wrong. He’s even Barbatos’ emergency contact, despite the fact that Barbatos has never been sick or injured.

When his phone does ring, though, it’s almost always because someone has managed to damage themselves beyond repair, which is why he’s staring at the caller id on his D.D.D. like he can make it stop ringing if he glares hard enough.

“Lucifer Morningstar speaking,” it hadn’t stopped ringing and Diavolo had almost reached across the table to answer it for him.

“Hello this is Devildom General Hospital. We received a patient today and your name was on his–”

“Who.” It comes out dull and flat. He’s gripping his fork so hard he can hear the metal squeak.

“Excuse me?” The demon on the other end of the phone sounds perfectly polite but Lucifer is already so strung out all it does is grate his nerves.

“Who are you calling for?”

“Mam–”

“I’ll be right there,” he’s standing up in a hurry, grabbing his jacket off the back of his chair and ignoring Diavolo’s many questions as he leaves their dinner.

“Sir, if you’ll just–” he hangs up before the nurse can say anything else.

-

Mammon managed to break a bone or two in a scuffle he won’t tell Lucifer the details of.

“Do you know how hard it is to break a femur, Mammon?” Lucifer is gripping the steering wheel of the car so hard he’s surprised it hasn’t snapped in half.

“Pretty damn hard, all things considerin’.” Lucifer exhales sharply out of his nose and looks at his brother from the corner of his eye. He’s staring out of the window, and the white of his hair is dirty with mud and something red that Lucifer knows didn’t come out of his skull but worries him regardless.

“Mammon, this isn’t something to joke about.”

“I know,” he taps the hard cast of his leg with a bruised knuckle, “‘m the one with the broken bones.”

“If you know why are you doing it?” Lucifer can’t stop his voice from raising a few decibels towards the end of his sentence and has to mentally count to ten to not start screaming.

“‘Cause I just got the shit beat outta me ‘n’ I don’t wanna listen to yer lecturin’.” Mammon finally turns his head to stare at Lucifer and the elder looks away from the road for a second to meet his eyes. It’s not often that Mammon genuinely argues with him, not often that Mammon gets mad enough to let the blue of his eyes light with fury. Whatever happened tonight was not something that he wanted to happen, and it’s not something he needs a scolding for.

There’s a tense silence where Lucifer sighs and then flicks the turn signal, sliding across the lanes of traffic to take Mammon somewhere else before they go home.

“Did you win?” He’s pulling into Madame Screams’ drive through when he asks.

“‘Course I did.”

“Good.”

They both silently agree not to tell the rest of them about their little pit stop, and it’s as Lucifer’s pulling into the garage that he turns to his brother.

“Mammon.” A hum sounds from the passenger seat. “Next time, call me yourself. I don’t want it to be the hospital unless you’re physically incapable of talking.”

“Roger that.”

—

Lucifer is not known as the most comforting of his brothers. The six of them tend to rely on each other for that, going to Mammon or Beel if they have emotional troubles. Lucifer, as the oldest, is good for cleaning up messes. Putting things back together and making it look like nothing was ever amiss in the first place. It’s his job to protect them, from the world and from themselves, and he takes it seriously. Still, despite his brick wall in place of a heart and his general ineptitude when it comes to being affirming in any sense, he is not incapable of helping his brothers out of a tight spot. He’s just not preferred.

“Lucifer,” Levi’s voice is shaky and stuttering on the other end of the phone. He knew something was wrong when his phone started ringing in the middle of class. His brothers all know how much he hates distractions during class time, just like they know when he has a class so they don’t bother him. He knew something was worse when it was Levi’s name flashing across the screen. Levi refuses to call any of them unless the world is ending. He knew something was horrible when he remembered that today was one of the few days that Levi is mandated to come to campus.

“Yes?” He’s already left class walking down the hallway towards the abandoned wing where he knows Levi is. He keeps his steps measured and even, keeps his breathing calm. It won’t do to have two of them panicked at the same time.

“Are you busy?” They both know the answer to that question, just like they both know he’s going to lie.

“You caught me in the middle of a break. Why?” He tests the door handle for the swimming pool. Closed for renovations, the sign says. The same thing it’s said for the past several millennia. The door swings open without any effort on his part, the magic seal already broken before he got here.

“Would you like to go for a swim?” There’s a splash on the other end of the line. Lucifer snorts.

“I’m not one for water.” There’s silence and another splash and Lucifer lets out a heavy sigh. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt.”

“Yay,” Levi says, soft and timid, and Lucifer can see him now, all of him, filling up the entire pool. He doesn’t get in yet, just removes a glove and sticks a finger in the water to let Levi know he’s here. He watches as the miles and miles of indigo scales shift and slide along each other until he’s face to face with thousands of sharp teeth.

“You’re going to break the pool again,” is what he says, voice dry. He sputters indignantly when that earns him salt water to the face. He’s soaked now, head to toe and he’s going to miss these shoes.

“Oops.” Levi’s voice is sprinkled with something mirthful, no longer halfway to tears as it was just a moment ago. “Get in. The water’s nice.”

“Yes,” Lucifer swipes a hand across his face to push his bangs back. Salt water drips into his eyes anyway. “I can see that.” 

Levi giggles and his face moves away, body coiling in, on, and over itself, too big to fully fit in the pool.

“You said you’d swim with me.”

“Yes. I suppose I did.”

Truthfully, Lucifer doesn’t like swimming. He is not a bird that is built for water, and getting wet usually means being cold and grounded for a while. Truthfully, he’d rather finally open one of the many letters Michael has sent him over the years. Truthfully, he would do anything for his brothers. Truthfully, Lucifer doesn’t think he’ll fit, but a promise is a promise, so he slides out of his uniform and climbs in.

Levi doesn’t ever tell him what made him so upset he rebroke R.A.D. 's pool, but he does leave a box of Princess’ Poison Apples on his desk the next morning, so Lucifer sets his sights on re-fixing the swimming pool. Maybe this time he’ll convince Diavolo to make it bigger.

—

Satan would rather rip his own teeth out with nothing but a Q-tip and a single milligram of ibuprofen to numb the pain than ever ask Lucifer for help. Their relationship is getting better, he will admit, but he’s filled with a rage towards the oldest that could melt even the strongest of metals, and it will take a while to temper the flame. So, no, he will not ask Lucifer for help, but, if he’s annoying enough about it, Lucifer will fix it anyways.

He starts by mentioning it to Asmo, squinting at him and saying that no, he can’t tell if Asmo’s eyeliner is uneven, because he can’t see.

“Can’t see?” Manicured fingernails are digging into his cheeks as Asmo grips his face and moves his head from side to side. He has to shelve books in his mind’s inner library to not rip his brother’s face clean off his head. 

“Doesn’t look like cataracts or anything,” Asmo hums, dropping his face. Satan massages his jaw slightly. “What do you mean you ‘can’t see’?”

“I meant what I said. Your face is slightly blurry and I can’t tell if your eyeliner is even because it just looks like a blob. Ergo. I can’t see.” Satan crosses his arms over his chest and dodges Asmo’s subsequent grabs for his face.

“Oh,” a snort, “you probably need glasses.” He turns back around to his vanity and Satan has to stop himself from saying no shit out loud.

“Glasses are for losers.”

“Lucifer wears glasses.”

“My point exactly.” Asmo twists his lipstick back down before popping the cap on and pulling open a drawer. He gestures for Satan to look inside and he does and–

“I didn’t know you wore contacts.”

“Not very many people do. Mammon has glasses too, you know. He’s sensitive to bright lights. The sunglasses indoors are not just a poor fashion statement,” Asmo sighs and shakes his head, like the image of Mammon wearing his sunglasses inside brings him physical pain. “And, I think Levi has some because all of those screens destroyed his rods and cones.”

“Oh. I’m sorry for calling you a loser.” Asmo waves him off.

“The point, Bitty, is that you wouldn’t be the first.” It wouldn’t be just you and Lucifer is what he’s saying. Satan nods and then frowns.

“I told you to stop calling me that.”

“Why?” Asmo reaches over to poke his cheek. He narrowly avoids getting a finger bitten off. His voice rises several octaves, turning into a coo. “You’re just an itty bitty baby– Ow, dammit fine.”

-

He then proceeds to complain about it as loudly as possible, as frequently as possible. No, he can’t help Mammon with his homework, the words are bleeding together. Yes, he does have to sit front and center now because otherwise the board is unreadable. No, he did not catch that last slanderous missive about Lucifer in the R.A.D. Newspaper because he couldn’t read the draft that was sent to him for editing. (He made Belphie read the drafts to him out loud and thought that the article was funny.)

“Satan,” everytime Lucifer has to talk to him he looks constipated and it makes Satan laugh inside.

“Big Bother.” Lucifer’s eye twitches.

“You have an appointment with the optometrist. Get in the car.” Satan sets his book down.

“Can’t Mammon take me?” He doesn’t want Mammon to take him. Still, it’s funny to see the vein pop on Lucifer’s forehead.

“... Get in the fucking car.”

Satan plays heavy metal in the car because he knows Lucifer hates it and makes him sit in the lobby during the actual check up because he thinks it’s funny to watch his leg bounce up and down. (And because Lucifer gets a copy of all of their medical records anyway. The freak probably checked Satan’s eyes himself while he was sleeping and already knows his prescription.)

“Those glasses look nice on you,” is all Lucifer says when he picks out the frames.

“I changed my mind. I hate these ones.” (He doesn’t.)

—

He’d been in his room, up to his eyes in paperwork when his phone rang. It’s not unusual for Asmo to call him, the younger always wanting to chat and gossip for as long as Lucifer will pretend to listen, but it is unusual for him to call in the middle of an Asmo Night.

“Hi Asmo, what–”

“Lucy!!” He has to pull the phone away from his ear to avoid rupturing the drum.

“I believe I have asked you not to–”

“Hey! Give me my–” There’s a scuffle on the other end before a voice that Lucifer recognizes as Solomon’s starts speaking.

“Lucifer! I believe Asmodeus has had enough for tonight and needs to be deposited home. I would do it myself, but as per our agreement, I am not allowed–”

“Within twenty feet of my front door. Yes, I know. I’ll come get him. Please keep him out of trouble until I get there.” He rubs the bridge of his nose before standing up and making his way to the door.

“Wonderful! Now, about that pact–” Lucifer hangs up before Solomon can finish the question and hits Levi’s door on the way down the stairs.

“Bed, Leviathan.” There’s a small squeak in response. “Or at least pretend to be sleeping. I can hear your game from out here.” The RPG music leaking from Levi’s room into the hallway quiets drastically.

He stops by the kitchen to find Asmo his crackers and a bottle of water before leaving, instructing Beel to carry himself and Belphie to bed on his way out.

Lucifer does not like parties. He thinks they are loud and annoying and too many people try to get handsy with him when really all he wants is to drink his Demonus in peace. He’s dealing with that now, batting off people’s hands and ignoring requests for a night alone as he makes his way to Asmo’s booth.

“Asmo,” Solomon’s voice is soft and fond as he rouses Asmo from a short nap, “Lucifer’s here. It’s time to go.”

“Mmkay.” Asmo rubs his eyes and gives Solomon a peck on the lips that Lucifer has to fight the urge to gag at. He crawls out of the booth and grabs Lucifer’s hand, and somehow the crowd parts to let him past with no fuss. They barely make it outside before Asmo is hurling all over the sidewalk and Lucifer is remembering that Asmo smells like warm, sugared peaches.

Asmo smells like peaches. Allegedly, he smells like whatever is the most alluring to you, but Lucifer thinks he has always smelled like peaches. He smells like the holy peach cobbler that Michael used to make in the Celestial Realm. Asmo smells like the peach flavored macarons that Barbatos makes when he and Lucifer have tea. He smells like the Georgia peaches the human made him try once. Asmo smells like peaches, he smells like home and love and care, and you would have to hold Lucifer at gunpoint to get him to admit this to his brother.

And now, Lucifer is getting a face full of that smell mixed with vomit as Asmo leans over a bush and loses whatever meager dinner Beel had shoved in him as well as half his body weight in alcohol. There’s a flash from the corner of his eye and he makes a mental note to follow up on that.

“It will sound hypocritical coming from me,” he starts and is promptly interrupted by another retch.

“Then don’t–good Diavolo, that tastes awful–say it.” Asmo takes the water bottle that Lucifer dutifully hands him and rinses his mouth out.

“Are you done?” Lucifer starts fishing around his jacket pocket for a pack of Asmo’s favorite crackers. They taste like flowers, allegedly, and they're one of the few things that Beel genuinely doesn’t like to eat.

“For now.” Asmo takes the crackers and starts munching on them gratefully, leaning heavily into Lucifer’s side as they both walk home.

“Thank you for coming,” he says. Lucifer scoffs, rolling his eyes.

“I would never leave one of you alone.”

“Aww, that’s so–”

“The paperwork alone would take at least a decade.”

“Nevermind.”

-

If Lucifer hunts down the demon who took the picture and threatens them within an inch of their life, that’s between him and his Father. And if Asmo finds out and gives Lucifer a hug at breakfast the following morning, that’s between him and Mammon’s camera roll.

—

Lucifer hates Fangol. Well, that’s not true. He admires the dedication someone has to have to play it and to play it well. He admits that sometimes it’s fun to go to games and get caught up in the hype of the crowd. He also likes that it makes Beel happy. What he doesn’t like is sitting in the stands as his second youngest brother makes a game winning play and then gets tackled onto the turf so hard you can hear the sound his head makes when it hits the ground.

The crowd goes silent and the players and the band take a knee and Lucifer is half dragging half carrying Belphie down the stands to the ambulance as the EMT’s check over their brother.

“Sir, I understand–” The paramedic cuts themself off when they see whose shadows are looming over them. They heave a sigh and gesture to a patch of grass near where they have Beel laying on a gurney. “Try to avoid being in our way.”

It’s a fight to keep Belphie from being underfoot, but there isn’t one when Lucifer says he’s riding in the ambulance with Beel to the hospital. Only a curt nod and then a muttered threat in his ear that he rolls his eyes at and then their off.

“Sorry.” It’s the first thing out of Beel’s mouth after he’s done being asked routine questions.

“It’s not like you asked to receive a concussion.”

“We don’t know that it’s a concussion,” Beel says, wagging his finger slowly. Lucifer rolls his eyes.

“You told the paramedic you wanted to throw up and pass out at the same time.”

“Average Beelzebub activities.” It makes Lucifer snort, lips twitching up into a smile.

“That is the exact opposite of a Beelzebub activity. You’ll be okay, though.” The you have to be goes unsaid.

It turns out to be a concussion and Beel is barred from playing for a while and then everything is fine.

-

Lucifer has changed his mind, he definitely hates Fangol. He has half a mind to ban Beel from ever playing it again, but if he didn’t have something to focus his energy on, they wouldn’t have a House to live in.

He stayed home from the game, wanting to relax, for once, with a new cursed record and a bottle of his prized Demonus. He might have also paused the record to watch the stream of the game on his phone, but that’s neither here nor there. He’s busy cussing out one of the commentators for their clear bias against Beel–they haven’t been angels in literally thousands of years, people need to find a new excuse–when it cuts suddenly from a replay of the last down to a live feed from the field. And then his phone rings.

“Mammon,” he already knows what happened before he picks up.

“I know ya said not ta call ya tonight, but,” he sounds haggard, and his accent gets thicker when he’s panicking, “ya also said not ta let the hospital call ya so–”

“Mammon,” it comes out snappier than he wants it to and he has to soften his voice when he opens his mouth again, “breathe. What’s happened?”

“Dear Father who art in Heaven–” Lucifer curses again because Mammon only reverts to praying when something is seriously wrong. “Beel got tackled ‘nd– Lucifer, ya could hear the crunch from Diavolo’s good seats.” Lucifer sucks in a breath and considers sending up a couple prayers himself.

“I’m on my way. Beel will– Beel will be okay, Mammon. He’s strong.” He hears Mammon’s assent from the other end of the line just as he hears Levi mumble something to Mammon.

“Oh, yer kiddin’.”

“What? Mammon, what’s going on?”

“We can’t fin’ Belphie.”

“Shit.”

-

If Lucifer breaks traffic laws on his way to the stadium, no one who pulls him over will be able to make anything stick for very long. He watches as the ambulance pulls away and his D.D.D. buzzes with a message.

Mams

I went with Beel. Everyone’s still tryna find Belphie.

“Lucifer–” he’s met with an armful of brothers before he can put his phone back in his pocket and he’s not strong enough to pretend he doesn’t want to hug them back.

“Did you find–”

“No, obviously not Levi, he just fucking got here.”

“Satan, now is not the time–”

“I’ll decide when the fucking time is, Asmo. Did you see what they did to our–”

“Yeah, I was sitting right next to you. You’re not the only one who’s upset–”

“Guys,” Lucifer raises his voice above their arguing. “Now is not the time.” He hands Diavolo his keys, grateful, for once, at his many attempts to bond with his brothers. “Will you please take them to the hospital? I have a brother to find.”

It doesn’t take him long to find Belphie, but it does take a toll on his knees.

“Belphegor.” He wonders how the youngest climbed on top of the press box without anyone noticing.

“The stadium lights are too bright,” Belphie says, “you can’t see the stars. They drown them out. It’s a bad omen, Lucifer.”

“Belphegor, please come back down.”

“I can’t see them, Lucifer.” His voice is thick with tears.

“They’re still there, Belphie. I promise.”

“We made them together, and I can’t see them.”

“If you come back down we can visit Beel and the two of you can find them together.” Diavolo’s Father help him, he is not climbing on top of that box to bring Belphie down himself.

“Promise?”

“On my life.”

The bad thing about the press box for the R.A.D. stadium, is that the ladder has rusted away. People never go on top of it to watch or film the game anymore because they started to use magic to get the good camera angles. The bad thing about the press box is that when Belphie makes to climb down he slips and has nothing to grab and lands on the concrete stadium seating with a snap that makes Lucifer’s stomach churn.

-

“I can’t believe you fell while getting down. That’s like, one hundred times easier than goin’ up.” Mammon is beside himself with laughter while he doodles on Belphie’s cast.

“Haha. Laugh it up Mammon. When I’m out of this thing, I’m going to break every bone in your body.” Mammon rolls his eyes at Belphie’s threat.

“The witches have used that one before. Try again.”

“What are you, a magic eight ball?”

“Reply hazy. Try again later.”

“You know,” Asmo says from his spot opposite Mammon, doodling on Beel’s cast, “it is kind of cool that you guys managed to break the same bone.”

“It’s because we’re twins.” Beel says, smiling brightly.

“Yeah,” Satan snorts, “or cause you’re both stupid.”

“I’m just glad you’re both okay,” Levi cuts in before Belphie and Satan can start in on each other.

“Indeed. Although, I believe it’s best that Fangol is heading into its off season.” Lucifer says, and there’s noises of agreement throughout the room.

—

It’s a simple fact of life that Lucifer doesn’t get sick. The Demon King is asleep, the Earth’s year is 365 (365.25) days long, the Crown Prince of the Devildom hates pickles, Michael is a massive loser, and Lucifer doesn’t get sick. He does not get sick or injured or cursed or hexed or anything of the sort because he does not have the time. Except. Except he is most definitely sick right now.

Belphie realized something was wrong when Lucifer didn’t come down for breakfast. He’s a stickler for meal times, always wanting them to share a meal together. Something about family and tradition and will you just do what I say for once that Belphie doesn’t care about or want to listen to. He comes to breakfast and dinner and lunch on the weekends anyway, because Beel does, not because Lucifer wants him to. So, when he looks up from his spot at the table, the cloth permanently drool stained despite the oldest’s best efforts, and watches all of his brothers leave except Lucifer, he gets confused.

“Beel,” he asks, tilting his head just so, “did Lucifer have a meeting today?” Usually he would tell them. Several times throughout the week if it was planned and then again in the morning before he leaves. He’s weird like that, he doesn’t like not knowing where everyone is. Belphie thinks he’s a control freak, even if he finds knowing his brother’s whereabouts comforting.

“No,” Beel says this around a mouthful of muffin, “I don’t think so.”

“Hmm. Well. I guess we’ll see him at school.”

-

They do not, in fact, see him at school. Mammon shares first period with him, which means he can never skip the first hour and a half of R.A.D. Except today, there’s no harsh pokes in his back whenever he starts to zone out, and there’s no pointed coughs when he pulls out his phone and starts playing games. He looks around and there’s no Lucifer.

Demon Brothers

Mams: ayo. where is. lucifer.

Catan: he’s not in class?

Mams: if he was I wouldn’t be askin.

Catan: the phone screen makes you bold, brother. watch yourself.

Mams: o7 aye aye cap’n.

Beel: Belphie says he wasn’t at breakfast either

Mams: is belphie’s phone broke???

Beel: he says typing is too much effort

Mams: understandable have a nice day

Asmo: o.o Lucifer not at breakfast? But he’s always weird when we miss it!

Catan: typical Lucifer hypocrisy

Levs: you know he can still read this chat right?

Catan: when has that ever stopped me -_-

Levs: you guys have hit like all of the Summoning Lucifer Bullet Points

Levs: 1. Mention his name fifty times

Levs: 2. Blow up his phone

Levs: 3. Text during class time

Levs: 4. Slander him at least once

Levs: 5. Ask about his private business/goings on

Beel: and yet

Mams: no Lucifer

-

The real header comes during the afternoon, when Lucifer doesn’t show up to the scheduled Student Council Meeting.

“Alrighty!” Diavolo says, chipper as ever, “when Lucifer gets here, we’ll start the meeting. He has all of the paperwork, anyway.” 

So they wait. And they wait.

“Yo, dude,” Mammon calls to Diavolo and he turns his head, Barbatos coughs into his fist at the lack of formality. “I don’t think Lucifer is gonna show.”

“Yeah,” Belphie yawns, “he wasn’t in school today, either.”

“Or at breakfast, apparently.” Levi says, though it’s hard to hear him over the music of his game.

“That is. Odd. Is he still at home, then?” Diavolo pulls out his phone and starts texting.

“No use,” Asmo says, “we’ve been bothering him all day.”

“Privately and in the group chat,” Satan adds. “Though, he may not have opened my messages because they were all cursed.”

“He didn’t open mine either,” Beel says. “I think he’s just been off his phone.”

“Unusual,” Barbatos says, stepping out of his shadowy corner. “Perhaps something is amiss?”

“With Lucifer?” Asmo sounds incredulous, lowering his compact just long enough to arch an eyebrow at the butler before tapping more powder on his face. “Nothing is ever wrong with Lucifer.” Belphie yawns before nodding in agreement and adding his own two cents.

“Even when we curse him things aren’t wrong. He always manages to make it seem so … normal.”

“I remember that time his pants kept falling down,” Levi says. “I thought it would make him less intimidating. I was wrong.” He shudders. “Very wrong.”

“Then why isn’t he here?” Barbatos says, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Why does he do anythin’?” Mammon stands up as he says this, grabbing his bag and his phone and making his way towards the door. “Lucifer does what he wants and shows no remorse for it.” There’s a pause where he remembers the Fall. “Mosta the time.”

“Well, if we aren’t going to do anything,” Asmo’s compact shuts with a click, “I have people to do and things to see.”

“It’s ‘things to do and people to see’, Asmo,” Satan says, following his brothers out.

“I know what I said.”

Barbatos and Diavolo watch as the brothers leave, one by one, all citing different excuses before sharing a look.

“Is it rude to stop by people’s homes uninvited, Barbatos?” Diavolo asks, pushing his chair back.

“Yes. But in cases where Lucifer is concerned, manners and politeness have never stopped you, my Lord.” Barbatos follows behind the Prince, steps silent in contrast to the clacking of Diavolo’s shoes on the Academy’s stone floors. Diavolo’s laugh echoes throughout the hallway.

“I suppose you’re right. Come, I believe I must pay a visit to my right hand.”

“Always.”

-

The House is cold when Diavolo gets there. He can hear Beel rummaging in the kitchen, and Belphie’s soft snores accompanying him. He can hear Levi and Mammon fighting over something and he can hear the thud of books falling over in Satan’s room. He can hear Asmo because Asmo greets him when he enters.

“Oh, hey!” He waves excitedly, before pointing at his feet. “Which shoes do you think look better with this outfit?”

“I think they both look nice,” Diavolo replies and Asmo pouts.

“Not helpful.”

“The ones on your left, Asmodeus.” Barbatos’ eyes peer from behind Diavolo’s shoulder and Asmo smiles in response.

“Thanks! Hey,” he tugs the shoe on his right foot off and tosses it into a pile next to the door before grabbing his left foot’s twin from seemingly nowhere, “you guys didn’t see Solomon out there, did you?”

“I thought I told you that he isn’t allowed within twenty feet of the front door.” Lucifer’s normal baritone is raspy with sickness, vocal cords raw from coughing.

“He’s not going to be within twenty feet. He’s going to stand an inch outside of the barrier.” Asmo turns and places his hands on his brother’s shoulders, spinning him around and pushing him back towards the living room. “I also thought I told you to lie down and sleep. I suppose we both aren’t good at listening, hmm?” Lucifer grumbles at him despite following Asmo’s guidance to the couch.

“I heard the door open.” Diavolo follows the duo towards the living room, Barbatos his ever present shadow.

“There are six other people who can answer it.” He watches as Asmo pushes Lucifer into a sitting position and shoves blankets around him.

“That’s what I worry about.” Asmo rolls his eyes.

“Stop being a baby and just lay down. How can you catch Mammon and string him up by his toenails if you can’t go a second without coughing?”

“I can,” Lucifer pauses to cough, “I can take any one of you down, even in this weakened state.”

There’s a snort from the entrance to the kitchen as the twins walk in, Beel carrying soup and Belphie carrying nothing.

“You couldn’t block even the lowest level curse from Satan at this rate.” Belphie says, curling up on the couch next to Lucifer and resting his head on his lap.

“I could–”

“You’re very strong, Lucifer,” Asmo placates, patting his older brother’s head condescendingly. “Now, eat your soup and shut up. I have a date to get to and I’m running late.”

“Maybe I should cough on you so you can’t go anymore.” The threat is empty, but Asmo’s smile still sharpens in response.

“Maybe I should take a seam ripper to all of your clothes,” he turns on his heel. “Oh, also. Diavolo is here.” The responding squawk Lucifer lets out sends him into another coughing fit, one that disrupts the sleeping Belphie on his lap.

“My Lord,” Lucifer makes to get up and is physically yanked back down by Belphie, “I apologize for not greeting you earlier.”

“No worries! You didn’t show up to the meeting today, and you weren’t answering your phone, so I stopped by to see how you were.” Diavolo gestures to the bottles of cold medicine on the coffee table and the bowl of soup being shoved at Lucifer by Beel. “It seems you are all taken care of.”

“Indeed. I appreciate your concern–”

“Beel, Lucifer’s boyfriend was worried about him. Isn’t that sweet?” Beel nods at Belphie’s joke, resting his head against the side of Lucifer’s knee from his newly acquired spot on the floor.

“The sweetest. Someone tell Asmo he’s being beaten in the best boyfriend competition.” There’s twin thunks as Lucifer smacks the both of them on the head, face now flushed with something other than fever.

“That’s enough out of you two.” He sighs and looks back up at Diavolo and Barbatos. “Would the two of you like to stay for dinner? Satan’s in charge tonight and he likely won’t poison it since I’m too ill to eat much of anything.”

“That would be wonderful, thank you.” Diavolo sits in an empty armchair that he thinks is Lucifer’s regular seat when his phone buzzes.

Emergency Chat ONLY

Belphie: hey satan, lucifer’s boyfriend is staying for dinner

Catan: man. now I can’t put this human world poison I found in it.

Belphie: probably wouldn’t work anyway

Beel: Barbatos is also staying

Belphie: my apologies Beel. you’re right

Belphie: lucifer’s boyfriendS are staying for dinner

Levs: this is great

Levs: I wanted to talk to Diavolo about the new chapter of the manga we’re reading

Mams: the rule is no loser talk at the dinner table

Levs: why do you open your mouth so much then

Mams: i’m gonna fucken get you

Asmo: if Lucifer gets to bring his boyfriends why can’t i bring Solomon

Catan: because Solomon sucks.

Catan: actually

Catan: would Solomon be able to con a fever high Lucifer into a pact

Mams: the downside here is that Solomon would be at dinner

Beel: I’d lose my appetite

Asmo: he’s not that bad

Asmo: and don’t lie Beel

Asmo: we aren’t going to let him cook

Asmo: we aren’t stupid

Lucifer: This chat is for emergencies only.

Belphie: i know. that’s why we’re discussing dinner

Lucifer: If I see Solomon anywhere near the House I will find a way to reverse his immortality.

Catan: wear a blindfold

Asmo: kinky

Catan: freak

Lucifer: I believe I also told you to stop referring to Diavolo and Barbatos as my boyfriends.

Mams: sucks 2 suck

Levs: L moment

Lucifer: I also believe they are in this chat.

Belphie: i know. that’s why we’re discussing dinner.

Belphie: keep up old man

Lucifer: I will remind you that you’re laying in my lap.

Belphie: what’re you gonna do

Belphie: cough on me??

Levs: chat, clip this

Mams: what was that scream???

Diavolo: Belphegor.

Barbs: Lucifer did more than just “cough on him.”

Mams: oh damn.

Mams: so what’s for dinner 

Beel: Lucifer says Belphegor stew

Mams: I thought it was Satan’s turn to cook????????

Catan: lucifer just tried to shove belphie in the oven.

Barbatos: With no seasoning? How revolting.

Diavolo: Demons taste better fried, anyway.

Mams: PARDON???

[sirenlulls]

get him back! → theburntchip

pairing , theburntchip x youtuber!reader

summary , where, in lieu of yours and chip’s reconnection, fans find out how it happened, and just why you ended things in the first place.

part one (bad idea, right?)

oh, i wanna get him back! 'cause then again, i really miss him, and it makes me real sad

🔴 Y/n L/n Talks On Breakup, Reconnection, The Launch Of Her Brand, & More! FULL POD EP.77 -Saving Grace

join premiere!

LIVE CHAT !

user: stop i’m actually gonna cry ☹️☹️☹️

user: I KNEW THOSE TWITTER B WORDS WERE WRONG I KNEW THEY DIDNT END BADLY

user: that’s so lala land of them

user: “if i ever complained, i’d be the nagging girlfriend” NO BABY 😭😭😭😭

user: never thought i’d say it but i’m glad they broke up bcs if they hadn’t done it then, it would’ve been MESSY messy

user: off topic but can we please talk about how pretty she is :(

user: “if he ever complained about you, i would’ve given him a belting” YES GRACE 👏👏👏

user: WHY DIDNT WE GET Y/N ON HERE SOONER OMGGGGGG I LOVE THIS DUO SM

user: Sending love from Brazil! XX 🇧🇷🇧🇷❤️❤️

user: stop that’s so sad ☹️

user: she’s so real for the anxiety thing

LIVE CHAT !

user: i feel like i’m watching a tv show

user: “i don’t want to lose this again” and when i start sobbing????

user: ok but is the dick game good

user: HE SWIPED UP ON A COSTA TOASTIE ☠️

user: nah he’s down BAD me too but like 😭

user: he def would’ve thrown a temper tantrum if she didn’t respond

user: grace booing is so real i wanted a kissing in the rain screaming ‘i love you’ confession

user: her smile when she said she’s happy now man they’re literally my parents ☹️

user: Love you both X ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

user: ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

user: the world is healing

user: NAH MAN SWEAR THATS CHIPS BOICE COMING IN NOW

LIVE CHAT !

user: i’m actually gonna cry i missed them sm ☹️😭

user: the camera switching to her looking at him with heart eyes after calling him a bellend is so funny GET HER ASS 👏

user: chip is the new an*rew t*te 🙏

user: oh how i missed him calling her lady and missus

user: he’s the leader of the sassy man epidemic oh lord

user: OMG I FORGOT WHEN SHE YSED TO GO ON COFFEE DATES WITH HIS MUM

user: leave my girl and her spotify playlists alone

user: this has literally made my year

user: just in time for y/n’s fall vids

[tagged: savinggracepod , gkbarry_ , theburntchip]

❤️ liked by georgeclarkeey, georgebxggs, and 98,992 others

yourusername mum! mum! i made it! i’m on saving grace!!!!!! (and i figured i deserved at least one pic of chip from the launch x)

user that episode was the funniest thing ever i can’t even i nearly pissed myself when grace pretended to spank u with the paddle 😭😭😭

user mother ur so gorg i’m speechless

user you know the content is gonna slap when y/n l/n is there

user im so obsessed with u pls

user CAL AND CHIP AT THE FUNCTION SIR 👏🙇‍♀️

user best video in youtube history methinks

gkbarry_ loved having you on babe, even if the boss man gatecrashed 🫶❤️

yourusername he doesn’t like feeling left out smh

theburntchip oh alright then

max_balegde ICONIC!!!!!!

user MY ROMAN EMPIRE

user i hope you know that twt is in flames rn

user i gen teared up a bit when you talked about the breakup 🥹

user icons only

[tagged: ynapparel , nellarose , theburntchip]

❤️ liked by landonorris, behzinga and 97,872 others

yourusername self representing by wearing @ ynapparel the past (and every) week 😩🤭 featuring the love of my life & chip ig…

theburntchip wow alright

theburntchip i thought you were a g 😔

yourusername oops sorry babe

theburntchip we’re over smh

yourusername oh no… what a shame ☹️ anyway… hot girl winter!!!!!!

theburntchip the fits are fire though 😮‍💨

yourusername as always x

user EATING SLAYING DEVOURING

user OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

user forever obsessed with u

user graduated from cuntingtion university with an phd in slaying

nellarose love you bae x

calfreezy chip looking dashing as per usual

theburntchip aye thank you brotha

nellarose AYYYY LOOKING SEXY 🔥🔥🔥🔥

yourusername ALL YOU BABY 💋💋💋

ynapparel looking good and dressed to kill 😉😇🩷

user face card NEVER declines

lissiemackintosh this barbie is my mother

user ur so real lissie

faithlouisak doll 🤩

alice_hez 😍🔥🖤

user WHATS THE SQUARE ROOT OF 64?????

user angel girl 🤍

centralcee ����‍💨🔥🔥🔥🔥

user NAHHH HES BRAVE COMMENTING ON THE POST W HER BOYFRIEND

user CENCH GET OUTTA HERE MAN

user SIRENSIRENSIREN Y/N BABY RUN!!!!!

user OH??????

user wait am i missing smth why are we freaking out

user @ user cench has always been lowk flirting with y/n, like she interviewed him at some event last yr and he was being so flirty and obviously she was giving him blank wall back BUT when her and chip broke up he got even WORSE like man was always in her comments tryna chat her up and she entertained it a lil but now the bitch is back and he’s bold

user NAH MAN GTFO WE JUST GOT CHIP BACK IN THE PICTURE WE CANT HAVE U RUINING THAT

theburntchip just posted to their story

[kirarisoul]

my ‘boyfriend’

quackity x reader

summary: you think your father will disapprove of your boyfriend, alex. so, he comes up with a plan.

i was thinking of 2019/18 alex while writing this! enjoy 😙

///

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE DOESN’T LIKE ME?!” is screamed through the phone by your boyfriend, making you pull it away from your ear, to prevent yourself from losing hearing.

“I don’t know.. he just.. isn’t.. fond of you?”

“but why? i’m so cute and handsome and sexy!”

“I think it’d be weirder if my dad thought you were sexy, babe.”

you hear him huff into the other side of the phone and know that’s your cue to comfort him.

“he’ll come around eventually, alex! he’s not gonna stop me from seeing you!”

“i know, i know, but.. how did he even form this horrible preconception of me?” he says, dramatically. you can practically see him with his hand over his heart in mock despair.

“well, i thought i’d ease him into it, and i put a stream of yours on the tv, it was that one, where you looked all cute with your little hat and thanos toy an-“

“yeah, yeah, i know what one you’re talking about.” you can hear the happy smile in his voice from your description of him.

“anyways, he didn’t have very good feelings towards you. he said you were loud and that streaming isn’t a proper job.. i didn’t even tell him i knew you yet.” you sigh into the phone.

“it is a job!? tell him i’m gonna go to law school as well!”

“i did tell him! he just.. couldn’t look past the streaming i guess. and he still doesn’t know we’re dating.”

“then tell him! you can’t hide me forever, baby.” he says smugly.

“yeah i will but.. he wants you to come for dinner. tonight. and if he sees it’s you i dunno what he’ll do! he has a temper, y’know.”

“hm.. wait.. i have an idea..” he says.

“what?”

///

“so, you’re my daughters boyfriend?” your dad asks one of the two boys waiting outside the door of your house, looming over them.

“y-yes sir..” the boy next to alex says.

“and you are?” your dad turns to alex.

“his friend.” alex smiles.

“alright.. why are you here?”

“..moral support?” alex says, pulling on his sleeves nervously.

a pause.

“oh, come in, come in, boys!” your mom says from behind your father.

///

the silence at the dinner table is deafening. it’s your father at the head of the table, your mother on his left, and your ‘boyfriend’ on his right. next to your ‘boyfriend’ is alex, your boyfriend.

you lean in.

“this is your plan?” you whisper yell into alex’s ear.

“babe, trust me, it’ll work.”

“who the fuck is that?!”

“it’s my friend, lucas. he’s interning at a hospital, and he’s top of the class in every subject, your dad’ll love him.”

“okay, he’s not my boyfriend though! you are! he’s gonna find out soon enough.”

“just relax. i just wanna see how your dad really is before i show who i really am!”

“you’re gonna reveal yourself at this dinner? are you crazy? he’ll hate you even more!”

“it’s okay! it’ll go good, im charming, he’ll come around eventually.”

a kick from under the table shakes it, making the water in the jug ripple.

“ow!” alex whispers.

“you’re stupid. this is stupid.”

“hey i-!”

as everyone on the table watches silently at this whisper argument, your mom speaks up.

“let’s eat, shall we?” she says with a smile and your father uncrosses his arms and picks up his fork.

“so,” your father starts. “what’s your name?” he says to who he thinks is your boyfriend.

“lucas. sir. it’s lucas.”

“okay, lucas, do you have a job for the summer?”

“i-i have an internship. sir. in a hospital. the lab. in the hospital.” he says, in short sentences as if he’s trying to convince himself about the internship as well.

“okay.. and how are your grades?”

“good. sir.”

“alright. what are your future plans. how will you support my daughter? not that i expect this to last.”

“dad!” you slam your fork down.

“i-i wanna be a doctor. sir.” lucas says, his voice shaking.

“a doctor, that’s amazing!” your mom exclaims, sensing lucas’ nervousness.

lucas nods and smiles.

“you know, she was showing me this guy, around your age, that streams and makes videos online. i would never let my daughter date someone like that, with no future plans.” your dad laughs.

alex plays with his food.

you grip your fork.

///

dinner goes on in a tension so thick you could pick up your knife and cut a hole in it.

you speak up. “babe, can you pass me the salt?”

two hands reach for the salt shaker. lucas freezes and alex, oblivious, passes you the salt and goes back to eating. you father puts his glass down.

“what was that.” your father waves his hand around to gesture to the scene that just unfolded in front of him.

“dad i-“

alex looks up slowly as he realises his mistake.

“alex is my boyfriend!” you blurt out. “not lucas. the guy i showed you online is alex. he makes videos and streams but he’s really smart! and h-“

your dad laughs, “who-whose idea was that?!” he says in between breaths.

“why are you laughing dad?! this is serious!!” you yell.

then lucas laughs, then your mom laughs, and finally, alex starts laughing.

“why are you guys laughing? stop laughing!” you stand up and your chair screeches.

alex grabs your hand. “babe- babe! sit down!” he takes a breathe in between laughs. “it’s fine!”

you cross your arms as everyone laughs die down.

“honey, it’s okay. if you love him, i think that’s all that matters.” your mom says.

you look at your mom and nod, “dad?”

“if you love him and he loves you. i don’t see a problem.” you dad says, smiling at you and then looking at alex.

“so you’re the boyfriend?” your dad says to alex, and leans forward, ready to do his interrogations all over again.

///

[shinestarhwaa]

INFERNO || PARK SEONGHWA

Genre: Fluff, Smut

Pairing: Seonghwa x Fem reader

Word Count: 1.88K

Tags/Warnings: Singles Inferno AU/Dating show AU, Unprotected sex, Fingering, Blowjob, Facefucking, Dirty talk, Praise&Degradation, Dom!Seonghwa, Breeding kink, Sooo much kissing like they literally don't stop

Taglist: @anyamaris @a-soft-hornytiny @whatudowhennooneseesyou @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @pyeonghongrie-main @woosanbby @dreamlesswonder86 @changbinslovelylegs @jonghostie @lovjensoo @1-800-shedevil @mjyungi @bratty-tingz @sugarnspice630

For context: in Singles Inferno there are 2 places Inferno ("hell") and paradise. If you and another person both vote each other you can be a match and you get a night in paradise (a luxury hotel) where you are allowed to get to know each other. I really recommend watching the show on Netflix! I've been enjoying it so far :)

ENJOY!

It was exciting, this new flame. You had participated in a new season of a dating show on Netflix and in the finale you and another male contestant happened to choose each other as the person they wanted to date.

Seonghwa had been like no other. His style and persona were so unique, radiant and intriguing. His eyes big and round like boba pearls, defined nose and plush-looking lips, lucious hair and abs sculpted by the finest artists.

He was tender and kind, even a bit silly if you got closer to him. You came in late so your mindset was a bit negative as you figured most of the contestants must have found their match already. But Seonghwa was different.

Ever since you got on the island he has been nothing but caring to you, making sure you felt included and even offering a hand or arm when you were walking over the rocks down at the beach. You had no idea that Seonghwa was so glad to see your arrival. None of the others had truly matched his taste but you, he found you exquisite. How could it be inferno when there was an angel right beside him?

Now the show was over you could finally meet alone, without any camera's which was a relief, but also scary. You didn't have the most pleasant experiences with men so you were a bit damaged in that sense, fearing that Seonghwa wasn't a good guy after all.

Seonghwa proved you differently, taking you out for dinner and being an amazing listener as well as sharing stories about himself. He paid, checked in on your wellbeing and kissed your cheek as he dropped you off back home. He was the perfect, sweet boy, a true blessing.

But he was too perfect. He looked too fine and he had the audacity not to kiss you on the lips. He had the audacity not to push you against the wall and make out with you. He had the audacity of not taking off your clothes and licking your hot skin and make you shiver. How dare he not make your toes curl?

You were aware that some people have a slower pace but you have known each other for weeks now and you've dropped all the hints. After the 4th date you screamed in your pillow out of sexual frustration. Could anyone blame you though? He's literally sex on legs for God's sake.

Today you had your fifth date with him and the trees slowly turned red and brown, leaves falling down onto the wet pavement. You started to miss the summer as it was so gloomy and the summer reminded you of the happiness that Seonghwa brought into your life.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked with a smile. You hesitated. You could make something up right now and shrug it off, or you could be straightforward and honest. You decided on the last one.

"Seonghwa why won't you kiss me?" You asked as you stood still in front of your doorstep. He was taken aback to say the least, surprised at your words. "What...You... You want me to kiss you?"

You stared at him blankly. 'You want me to kiss you?' Who did this man think he was? The hell was he on? Yes you do!

"Well isn't that obvious?" You grinned. Seonghwa smiled and nodded. "I... I thought I saw some signs but I promised myself I wouldn't rush into anything. I didn't wanna waste my chance on you and I... I enjoyed getting to know you."

"You're too sweet, God, I really... I really appreciate that... Because not many men think like that," you said with a smile as you caressed his arm, "but I am still a woman. With needs. A woman who wants her man to throw her on the bed and ravish her. A woman who needs to have her man's tongue between her legs."

"Her man?" Seonghwa said with a smile. You laughed and smacked his chest. "That's all you got from that story?!"

"No, no, I did not but I... I like the sound of that... Being your man. Are we a thing then?" "You mean like boyfriend/girlfriend? I think we are," you nodded. He smiled and caressed your cheek softly before leaning in. "Well if you're my girlfriend...," he started, but you did not let him finish as you crashed your lips together.

You stumbled through the hall, clumsily taking your shoes and coats off, barely being able to hang those on the coatrack. His kisses were intense and made you weak at the knees. The way his hands slid over your body ignited a fire inside your core you didn't know you had. You took his hands and tried to get up the stairs and kiss at the same time but you didn't make it and you sat down on one of the steps. That's where your sweaterdress was taken from your body, leaving you in your underwear in front of your new boyfriend.

He grunted as he left little kisses, nibbles and bites down your neck and soft flesh of your chest. Seonghwa pulled down your underwear and spread your legs, admiring the wetness that he created.

"Fuck, precious," he muttered against your lips as his fingers slid between your folds, smearing out the slick arousal. Even the tips of his fingers on your sex nearly sent you to heaven. Nothing else mattered in the moment, it was only you and him, on the stairs frankly.

His tongue slid over your bottom lip as he entered your cunt with 2 of his fingers, spreading and scissoring you open. "God, baby you're fucking perfection. You wanted this right? Just like this? Is my baby satisfied now?"

You nodded and moaned as you hastily pressed kisses to his lips. "Yes, yes, fuck this feels good," you nodded. "Yeah? Is this spontaneous and hot enough for my princess?"

Seonghwa's fingers were slender and moved so gracefully between your legs. Soon enough they found your g-spot, making you moan out and arch your back. "Oh, Hwa, babe, fuck!"

He made you go insane with the power of his fingers, giving you no time to relax. "F-fuck, where did you learn this?" You panted out as he rubbed your clit with his thumb as he kept ramming his fingers against your g-spot, making you squirm.

"Gotta make you cum now, talk later," he said with a smirk as he thrusted a few more times before you finally came, squirming and moaning out his name loudly. "God, I love the sounds you make, Y/N," he spoke as he pulled his fingers from you, licking your juices off of them.

"Your hand feels so much better than mine, wow," you sighed. Seonghwa grinned as he helped you up. Before he could rush upstairs you crashed your lips on his again, tasting your own arousal on his lips. You took off his sweater and started undoing his belt as he slowly guided the two of you up the stairs.

Finally you got to the bedroom and all you and Seonghwa had on was your bra and his underwear, which you tugged down the moment you hit the bed. "Fuck," you cursed as your mouth watered at the sight of his cock. He smirked and propped himself up on his elbows. "You wanna taste that?"

"Yes, yes I wanna taste it, Hwa," you confessed as you spat on your hand and stroked his cock up and down a few times. "Go ahead then," he said, encouraging you with a nod of his head.

Seonghwa's head fell back the moment you took his length into your mouth. You weren't one to take it slow, instead you took a lot of him right away and eagerly bobbed your head up and down. You couldn't help it, the only thing you wanted was his cock down your throat and you couldn't wait much longer.

"Fuck, so eager, aren't you my dear? Want my cock that bad, huh?"

You moaned around his member as he thrusted up in your mouth suddenly, hands in your hair, forcing you down on him. Tears formed in your eyes as you gagged on his dick.

"That's what you wanted isn't it? You wanted spontaneous, you wanted rough, you wanted my cock, didn't you? So you better take it now."

And like the good girl you were you couldn't do anything else than take it, or let him take you instead. His eyes rolled back into his head as he rutted into your hot, wet mouth. You could hardly breathe at times but suffocating on Park Seonghwa's dick was quite a good way to go if you were honest.

Suddenly Seonghwa pulled out and threw you down on the bed, face forward into the sheets. He took a hold of your hips and pulled them up so he had a good view on your ass. Seonghwa positioned himself behind you and stroked his cock a few times before sliding into your awaiting cunt.

"Fuck, such a pretty princess... And so needy aren't you? Your pussy's sucking my cock in so well baby, you really wanna get fucked huh?"

"Y-Yes, Hwa! Fuck, I want you inside me, want you to fuck me, fuck me full!"

"Fuck you full, huh? Does baby want me to breed her tight little pussy? Fill it up with my cum and stuff her full?" You nodded and screamed out his name as he started to firmly thrust into you. "Y-Yes, yes! That's what I want, oh fuck, that's what I want, fuck me full, I'll take it all, fuck! Please, breed me, breed me, breed me," you pleaded.

"Breed you huh?" He smirked as his thrusts got faster and harder. You moaned uncontrollably as his cock fit you so perfectly and moved deliciously along the sensitive walls of your core.

"Shit, you're fucking heaven, fucking paradise baby, really," he moaned out as he felt his high coming up, muscles in his abdomen tightening. Suddenly, like a wave of arousal he came, hard and deep inside you with a loud moan. His cum filled you up so well, it felt hot and warm and it left you shaking as he send you over the edge as well.

Ever since that moment Seonghwa never held back anymore. He fucked you everywhere he could. Now the days were slowly getting colder and rainier, and eventually snowy, it was better to stay inside, so he visited your house nearly everyday after work to fuck you senseless.

"P-please, please Seonghwa!" You begged as Seonghwa pressed kisses down your jawline and neck, cock slowly moving in and out of your cunt to tease you. "What is it baby?" He smirked, knowing damn well what he was doing.

It had been about three months now and he kept fucking you, nearly each time better than the previous one. He fucked into you with long, sensual strokes, making you desire him more than ever before.

"Fuck, you're such a little angel, how could I ever have met you in inferno, hm?" He said with a flirty wink. "Well stop putting me in inferno with all your teasing and just fuck me, just fuck me full Seonghwa, god damn it, please!"