#even though shes a fantroll i might try and find a way to make her just a regular oc

[cl0wnkestra]

I dont usually post a lot of oc stuff as much as i'd like!! But uh, this is my girl Hadeez, a fantroll of mine. I'm trying out some things to mess with my own style :]c She's actually pretty cool, and not murderous i prommy

[fantroll-purgatory]

World: Alternia

Name: Erenyx Erixck (Try saying that 3 times fast)

Age: 8 sweeps

Theme/Story: Since her hatching, Erenyx has been very intelligent. Unfortunately, she’s also batshit crazy. Erenyx gives off an aura of “not quite there”, often randomly staring off into the distance and generally acting weird. She’s very into hypnosis and mind control, trying to command lower blooded trolls with varying methods and success. 

Local Mod With Psychotic Symptoms Here: Please Stop Making Characters Whose Entire Gimmick Is “Not Being All There.” I hope this doesn’t come off as rude, but I want to teach you how to be a stronger writer. It’s not as scary or edgy as you think it is and it is 100% of the time more of a stressor for the person who has the condition than for anyone else. 

People who are most often stigmatized with the “““batshit crazy”““ label don’t want to harm others and experience significantly higher rates of violence directed towards than the general population because of stereotypes like these! Staring off into the distance and “acting weird” aren’t villainous traits. They’re just how people are sometimes. The “crazy genius” is a strung out trope that’s just shorthand so you can get away with not writing character motivation! We’re gonna dissect your girl like a frog specimen and take out her tender Character Traits to build her back better. Bionic frog. 

So to give you a stronger starting base here: If you want a troll to be a bad person, make them a bad person. It’s so much more interesting than them being randomly “crazy” and wacky. Make them malicious, and not because they’re ~not all there~. We’re gonna call New “Bionic Frog” Erenyx a bastard because she thinks she’s better than other people. She was born with strong psionics and she thinks that means she’s a cut above the rest, she thinks they should respect her and like her, and that’s why she wants to control others. 

(Cosigned as another mod with psychotic symptoms like… it’s not a great look. Also: Everyone on Alternia is terrible for the most part. It was DESIGNED that way in-universe. It’s a planet of hormonal teenagers who are encouraged to murder their friends and neighbors for kicks. You don’t need a “batshit crazy” smokescreen to just write a terrible fantroll. Vriska already exists, and she doesn’t have anything like that.)

Goals: Due to her, let’s say, interesting personality, Erenyx has no friends. So, she reasons, why not hypnotize lowbloods to become her friends? (I thiiiiink you misread my section on Goals: These are for you and us, not your fantroll’s ambitions (though nice information to have). I’m going to do this as a general review in lieu of anything specific.)

Strife Specibus: Yoyokind. It’s got a swirly pattern and spikes, naturally.

Fetch Modus: I never bother to think these up, it’s more trouble than it’s worth honestly. (Lowkey agree with you there- I’m horrendous with these. I do think something to help flesh out this spiral motif might be fun? Impressionism, maybe? Some late-Picasso looking art and she’s gotta find the items in it?)

She could also have to solve a maze or labyrinth to get out. Or you could go with something that plays on the Cobra angle and do a snake charmer joke with her playing a pungi. 

Blood Color: Gold

Symbol: Actually, I haven’t decided yet. I don’t know why, I just never get round to it.

You could probably rip a symmetric chunk for a pattern like this and have a pretty good gold symbol on your hands.

Handle: mesmerisingOptics [MO]

Quirk: Undecided

If she loves to seem purposefully confusing, you could mix up her words. Organize her sentences in a way that people usually don’t. The best example I can think of this is… I used to follow this RP blog a while back, amusedmuralist, and the way sentences are structured here is what I’m thinking. “Waste your lowly selves not the time allotted you.” 

A generally ‘better than thou’ attitude and insults/put downs can go a long way, too. 

Special Abilities: Various methods of hypnosis, most of which aren’t very good.

Lusus/Guardian: Cobra Lusus

I do like this a Lot but what about . Kaa. She could face the common troll problem of having a lusus that needs to eat other trolls, and she needs to trap them to feed her snakemom before her snakemom gets hungry and turns on her! 

Personality: As stated above, she’s not exactly the most sane troll on the block. Likes to dish out weird threats to innocent passerby and giggle to herself for no reason. Likes spirals. (This is barely even window dressing on a personality- you’ve made her theoretical, stereotypical mental illness her whole character. You’re overcommitting to a pretty bad gimmick, to be frank.) (To quote the EZ Gold Signs: “Gold Signs are interested in a wide variety of topics, so they tend to be Jacks-of-all-trade, and can have trouble dedicating themselves to just a single hobby or career. They have a tendency to be high-energy, and can stress people out, including themselves.” This may be a good place to start for a character like this.)

And as I’ve said above, she believes she’s a cut above the rest. She could be a little on the cruel or at least inconsiderate side, a better-than-you type. She could look down on other blood colors and the like. Another gold fact from the EZ is that golds love The Hustle, they like making bank. You could play on a manipulation and control angle and instead of relying on a bad mental illness stereotype, make her an extortionist playing mental health professional? Come to her Hypnosis Clinic, she’ll definitely help you get a good night’s sleep/work through your trauma/cut that chalk eating habit! [Fails to brainwash you] 

Interests: Hypnosis, obviously, and other methods of controlling people. Spirals, swirls, other similar things. (You say Spirals and my first thought is early game Uzumaki. Maybe she has an interest in strange art? Really underground, indie shit that the Highbloods would NEVER see as equal to their epic sculptures and Clowns and stuff.)

Actually, I want to step a layer deeper here. What are spirals traditionally associated with in homestuck? C h e r u b s. And what is there evidence of on Alternia? Giant Snake (Cherub) Corpses. And given that the purples worship the merciful messiahs, I’d be unsurprised if spirals actually featured rather heavily in Clown Church Religion. Erenyx could have an interest in art history on top of an interest in modern perplexing imagery. She could be interested in finding the deeper meanings. She could think that she, in all her GENIUS WISDOM, understands this art and the meaning behind it better than anyone else and that she’s unlocked some hidden truth that means she deserves to be in charge. 

It could also be a sparking point for her interest in hypnosis- maybe her psionics don’t actually lend themselves well to mindcontrol, but she’s trying to jack into whatever force allows purplebloods to Chucklevoodoo.  

Lunar Sway: See symbol.

She’s a prospitan if I’ve ever seen one. 

Title: See lunar sway. (I think if hypnosis is her game, she’s probably a Heart/Mind inversion player. Actively messing with people’s brains, passively messing with their souls and identities.)

Yeah, cheesy as it is, I’d rule her as thief of mind. Or witch. One of those. 

And design corner time: 

Hair: I cannot believe you gave me a spiral character and didn’t give her SWIRLS. I had to just embiggen the hair a little more. Big hair on alternia is associated with the Condesce and thus power, so having a big spirally mess of it? Screams Better Than You. 

Face: I adjusted her mouth’s position mildly and changed the glasses to cherub colors as a reference to that cherub comment I made up there, but you could change them out for any appropriate themeatic colors- she didn’t have any Accents before! 

Outfit: I changed her outline and sweater color to go for something lighter, so the hair would stand out from it better. I added a conceptual symbol for her! Golds don’t wear patterns, so her socks are solid yellow now. I also fixed up her shoes by bringing in tavros’ sandals to edit. You don’t need to draw out individual toes on a sprite form wearing shoes, or else the area gets visually complicated! 

Other than that I love this design a lot. 

[geejaysmith]

Further observations on this here Extended Homestuck Zodiac: 

I fucking called it. Sure, me and most of the rest of the fandom, but still. I was also right about Mind and Heart being a dichotomy though apparently not so much for the rest. The other pairs listed are Hope/Rage, Breath/Blood, Light/Void, and Life/Doom. And while I’m not surprised, I was rather attached to my personal interpretation of Hope/Doom, Blood/Rage, Void/Life, and Light/Breath. Oh well, like I’ve ever been one to be tied down by canon. 

How ‘bout that Rage confirmed for discord and chaos, though? Called it. Blood being bonds was I guess largely accepted by the fandom already, though I based my idea of Rage/Blood as a pair off Rage being discord and Blood being harmony. Insert My Little Pony theme here. 

GOD am I glad to at least have some kind of overarching description of the Time player personality type, though. I felt it was there for the longest time but was never able to put into words exactly what ties Dave, Aradia, Caliborn, and Damara together beyond things like their preoccupations with death. THOUGH SPEAKING OF WHICH, how DO the Megidos square with this? Is it that they found the end of their respective fights? 

And this will be my excuse to keep calling myself a Time player. 

Though that’s not to say I’m not completely up-front about the fact that when I originally took Page of Hope’s Classpect test six years ago (which was at the time the most detailed, in-depth test out there and is probably still is) I scored 100% for both Time and Space. 

And yeah, I’ve probably nurtured the Space side pretty well over the years. 

I also wanna say, by their description of Doom? I’ve chosen my Doom players well. 

And now, the Sign Classes! Looks like these are really just based off the Post-Scratch trolls, as far as I can tell. Someone more versed in astrology is going to have to tell me if the traditional zodiac traits are in there at all. Otherwise - pick the troll you relate to most, I guess? Which is gonna take a lot more thought for me. I dunno, I’m going through them over and over again and none in particular are jumping out at me. 

Probably not Teal tho, lmao 

Speaking of Teal, 

Please, continue tossing this shade, or at least what I will interpret as shade thrown at Gamzee and Vriska. 

Speaking of which things get pretty damn funny IMHO when we get into... certain troll’s classes

...I mean, they’re not wrong, but

Again, they’re not wrong from a broader point of view, but keep in mind this is Gamzee’s sign class we’re talking about here.

Politics, sure, but humanitarianism? Not if your last name is “Ampora.” 

*Ampora voice* im sapiosexual dontcha knoww

@ What Pumpkin: stop stalking me.

I seem to gravitate towards Bronze, Gold, Lime, Olive, Indigo, Violet and Fushcia. Oh boy, I find half the damn zodiac relatable! This is the part where I kept typing “X is the Biggest Mood though” but continually going back and changing it so good fucking luck in that department, I guess. 

And finally, the Lunar Sway, aka what had me most skeptical about whether or not the writers of this thing had a handle on things. Mostly Prospit. To take it from the top: 

Marked by a flexible optimism, the personalities of Prospit Dreamers are reactive and intuitive. 

Methinks we were looking primarily to the human kids here, but from my Troll Knowledge this isn’t untrue in a broad sense. If you can call Karkat’s early “I am surrounded by idiots and it’s up to me to push them through this” attitude “optimistic”.

They naturally exist in the present, rather than look to the future or obsess over the past. 

Uh... Points at Jade’s meticulous planning with her reminders, at Jane’s oft-overlooked ambitious qualities? Points at Terezi’s E V E R Y T H I N G? 

When making decisions Prospit Dreamers tend to rely on gut instinct and whatever emotions they are experiencing at the moment. This makes them quick to act and reliable in a crisis, but it also can make them capricious. 

Sometimes terminally so? :y I can’t discount the overall impression that they’re pushing that Derse dreamers are more Thinking, while Prospit players are more Feeling, to put it in Myer-Briggs terms, but I’m resistant to the extreme of this idea that Derse and Prospit are purely logic versus emotion. But it does add some clarifying dimension to the observation that Derse dreamers often throw themselves into suicide missions knowing full well they’re going to die, but Prospit players will do the same without even the slightest consideration for the fact that’ll get fucking wrecked. 

They have trouble thinking things through, and their feelings toward specific situations and decisions can change from day to day. 

Don’t call me out like this, guys. 

They solve problems with creativity rather than cold logic, often seeing multiple options with ease and clarity. 

Though they are creative by nature, I feel this must be supplemented with the observation that Space players - who are Prospit dreamers by default - also tend to be straight-forward and more concerned with concrete rather than abstract matters, which trends more towards logic.

Because they generally take things as they come, Prospit Dreamers are less rebellious than they are adaptable-instead of struggling against authority, they will find a way to coexist with it. 

Again, not untrue, but the contrarian in me worries about what broad application of this will do to my dear children. 

Possibly because they are so instinctual and flexible, they like having a defined set of rules-a safety net for their passionate lives. 

This makes sense and actually shines a pretty good light on our Prospit kiddos: now that I think about it, I can name some kind of guiding framework that all of them adhere to in order (at some point, since I’d argue Jade remakes hers when she casts her reminders off) to make their lives make sense - even Vriska, who lives her life like it’s one big FLARP session. 

Naturally trusting, they have trouble with deception or hiding their true selves, and will often worry about what others think of them. The self they project into the world is often not under their control.

Ok, here’s the part I’d heard about and had a problem with. Did we learn NOTHING from Grimbark and Crockertier? Or John’s relentless projection? To say nothing of the argument that Jake’s obliviousness is on some level deliberate obfuscation. It may just be that this observation is written really vaguely in trying to encompass related ideas in a small space. The wording of this makes it sound like Prospit dreamers struggle with subterfuge or self-awareness and this is simply not the case? Especially once you get away from the humans. It might be saying they go one way or the other, that Prospit players either struggle with the concept of deceiving others (blatantly untrue of most of them) or often encounter difficulty because they feel compelled to hide their true self (which is FAR MORE applicable, but doesn’t seem to be the case when you preface that idea with “naturally trusting”). 

You could make the argument that this is saying that Prospit dreamers often run into cases where they’re so willing to avoid dealing with their problems that they’ll even obfuscate from THEMSELVES unconsciously, but that... doesn’t seem to be the case because of the surrounding phrases. I get that this is supposed to be a broad generalization and that few people, if anyone, are going to perfectly embody all these traits, but!! Jumps up and down!! We don’t exactly need more reasons to overlook the Prospit kids’ less explored depths here. 

I kinda went over Derse already when I liveblogged myself taking the test so I guess that ends that. Interesting little experiment, not as superficial as I feared it would be. 

Nobody better be expecting my fantrolls to only use signs from this zodiac though, lol. 

[fantroll-purgatory]

Hello! It’s 2am, I’ve been rewriting this for 3 hours because words are the hard and I’m just tired. (Sounds like you are ALSO dealing with Time! But, that doesn’t make you a Time player either- let’s get into it.)

World: Alternia

Name: Tempus Facrem

“Tempus” means “time” in Latin, and “Facrem” is derived from “factorem” which means “maker”. Assuming I’ve not beansed the name (which is very, very possible), it should mean Time Maker which compliments her story and classpect nicely.

Age: ~8 sweeps

Theme/Story: Tempus is a hobbyist clock maker who’s hive is located in a quiet area of Alternia who tries her hardest to keep to herself and keep out of bother. Despite this, she’s often commissioned by trolls higher up the hemospectrum than herself and almost never has time to do her own thing or even make a clock for herself. I try to follow the general theme of time with her overall.

Goals: A general overview would be appreciated, as well as some suggestions for whatever I couldn’t decide on. As Tempus were originally created for a casual and definitely not canon-compliant Lords and Muses only RP session, I couldn’t adapt everything. (I am going to open my review here, because a General Overview of a character like this, by nature, turns into a Overhaul. I talk about Overcommitment To Gimmick A LOT in my reviews, because it plagues many fantrolls, ESPECIALLY Time Players.) (Your Troll is not the first Clock Themed Time Player Fantroll I’ve received, and I always point to canon. Aradia? Damara? Dave? When are any of these characters clock themed? You use the word “Time” 28 times in this profile, which points, once again, that that’s kind of her only thing.) (I will tackle alternate Aspects for her under Classpect. Much of this review is going to be trying to tease a more rounded character out of this. Perhaps your initial RP had more character for her? But, if there was, it hasn’t translated through to here.)

Strife Specibus: Sniperkind (or maybe riflekind, I can’t decide) (Riflekind is more general, and it’s what Jade uses!)

It also leads to some interesting questions you can ask yourself about her character- is she good or bad at guns? If she’s good at it, where did she learn and is this a passion? Is it just for protection or is there more? And if she isn’t good at it, why did she choose to pick it up and why does she stick with it? 

Fetch Modus: Honestly no ideas here, chief.

I could probably make a cuckoo clock joke here, but I honestly don’t want to reinforce the already drowning-in-time theme. 

God I could more jokingly apply a TikTok reference here. She has to make a musical.ly about the object in question. 

Or if she’s fascinated with universal constants, she could have a more abstract time system, like an Orbit system. All the cards are locked into a central ‘orbit’ and can only be uncaptcha’d when they line up in particular ways. 

Really, fetch modi usually involve alternate interests or coding jokes and it’s hard to think of any of those to apply here. I’d expand on her interest set and then come back to this!

Blood Colour: With reference to Fir3h34rt’s hemospectrum chart, between scarlet and cardinal.

I know we’re already making a lot of change recommendations and we’re hardly even half way, but I have to say that she really doesn’t read like a rust to me. We have to remember that rusts are rooted in Aries. The extended zodiac says rusts are wild, they crave adventure, they love drama, they’re dynamic, they’re quick to anger, they’re incautious- where is that in Tempus? 

Further, clockworking isn’t a very low maintenance career. Most of the rusts we see have “menial” labor or things they can do on their own, adventuring out into the world without much equipment. If a rust can’t have prescription glasses, how are they getting a clock studio? Where is she getting the materials? Where did she get the startup materials? Did someone else act as her patron? Why? 

This kind of niche skill and dedication to a craft isn’t something we see as emblematic of rusts, it’s something that’s more in line with bluebloods. That’s not to say I necessarily think you need to make her a blue (though I think it would be an interesting twist on the character and a good way to migrate her away from the obvious Aradia association). I just think you need to bring more of that Rustblood Fire to her, even if it’s repressed. Where’s the boiling under the surface tension? The desire to throw off her shackles and run free? 

Her theoretical EZ symbol with your current assignments would be The Headstrong. Where’s the headstrong? 

Symbol and Meaning:

A minimalist empty hourglass. Represents a lack of time. (I don’t have a better sign off the cuff, but refer to my comments above as to why I think this is a poor choice.)

Handle: I’m also not sure what to put here. This was another detail that I just couldn’t adapt. Her original handle was timeyWimey because she was meant to be a Lord of Time and my humour isn’t very creative. (I… actually think that’s pretty cute.)

Quirk: Regular capitalisation. Vowels are replaced with respective numbers, unless if the number created from the quirk is greater than 12. e.g. My n4m3 1s T3mpu5 F4cr3m.

Again we can kind of see the overcommitment here. I can’t fault you too much for it, but you might want to step away from the clock thing Too strongly here. You say she likes rhythm, tempo. Maybe you could think of different speaking patterns instead. Find syllabic patterns to give her, or even just chop her words curtly, monosyllabic. Ex: Give. Her. A. Drone. One. Syl. La. Ble. At. A. Time. It. Is. Slow. But. She. Is. Pa. Tient. Are. You? 

But I again recommend looking more into her interests and then coming back to this later. 

Lusus: Greater Skarthi, a dog-sized beetle with two horns. A very relaxed lusus who taught Tempus the value of patience. They share a good relationship.

I honestly think she could use at least a little conflict. Having a soothing lusus relationship is easy, sure, but how about the interest of trying to focus on her craft when her lusus routinely wrecks her shit? The stress. The Drama. 

Interests: Tempus is fascinated with clocks and rhythm as a whole, seeing time as a universal constant that should be respected. She chooses to respect time by making clocks, and prior to her being frequently commissioned she used to make them in a variety of shapes and sizes through different methods for entertainment or to pass the time. (So… her entire interests are clocks and Time. A Time Player is not like this. Let’s look at Dave’s intro page:  “Your name is DAVE. It is an UNSEASONABLY WARM April day. Your BEDROOM WINDOW is open to let some air in, and your FAN is cranked. Arguably even more cranked would be your FLY BEATS, which brings us to your variety of INTERESTS. A cool dude like you is sure to have plenty. You have a penchant for spinning out UNBELIEVABLY ILL JAMS with your TURNTABLES AND MIXING GEAR. You like to rave about BANDS NO ONE’S EVER HEARD OF BUT YOU. You collect WEIRD DEAD THINGS PRESERVED IN VARIOUS WAYS. You are an AMATEUR PHOTOGRAPHER and operate your own MAKESHIFT DARKROOM. You maintain a number of IRONICALLY HUMOROUS BLOGS, WEBSITES, AND SOCIAL NETWORKING PROFILES. And if the inspiration strikes, you won’t hesitate to drop some PHAT RHYMES on a mofo and REPRESENT.” Homestuck ACT 2, Page 312) (Aradia gets kind of a free pass for her intro page because she is… well… a ghost. And her stated remembered interest is Archaeology, not Clocks.)

This is where you have to ask your self some additional questions. How might she have gotten into clock making? Did she start with woodworking? Was she inspired by something else? Did she just do it out of convenience because she didn’t have one? Does she just like DIY in general? Because DIY could be a very interesting origin point for a character like her. A lot of self-crafts DO take a lot of patience and you can capitalize on that character trait in ways besides saying it. 

And, of course, you should ask what she does in her downtime. Unless she’s a workaholic or is in extortionist circumstances, most people have downtime. Does she have unfair contracts keeping her working constantly and stopping her from pursuing old intrigues? Does she miss her other interests? Or does she choose to burn the candle at both ends and neglect leisure? Because if neither of these are the case, she needs other hobbies. 

Appearance: Has long black hair, similar to Aradia’s but slightly shorter and a tad tidier. Her horns share the ram aesthetic of Aradia’s too, however they have significantly less curling and point downwards and forwards. Wears a tool apron with her symbol on it over a dark grey jumpsuit. (I would absolutely love it if you could draw your interpretation of her to see how it compares to mine, but it’s absolutely not necessary.)

Personality: While she isn’t particularly optimistic, Tempus is good at looking at a situation from different perspectives which can be confused for optimism. In reality, she’s far more calm and relaxed under pressure than she is optimistic. She’s incredibly patient, both with people and in a literal waiting sense, thanks to her lusus. As she has the patient of a saint. when she does rarely get frustrated it’s usually very small scale. In spite of this, she’s prone to cursing, but not often to directly insult someone or something and more for comedic effect. (I think we have the beginnings of a solid character here. The thing that she’s really missing is the Time sense of fighting. She’s got this serene, steel will which is a useful trait, but where’s the STRUGGLE? Where is the drama, where is that draw to cyclical destruction.)

^^^ You’ve given us red on red, here. Time and Rust together have an inherent drama and tension. I really think that’s what we’re missing here. I think you could easily do something with the fact that she’s been put on commission to so many highbloods. Is she playing up her patience? Is she putting on airs for her professional career? Does she have a fury boiling beneath her skin? If she about to snap? Is she one snide violetblood comment away from tearing a clock off the wall and committing murder? Is she trying so hard to be a patient person but god people make it so HARD don’t you just want to go APE SHIT? 

Lunar Sway: Prospit, as she’s loyal to her acquaintances and often employs a creative approach to problems, even if they aren’t the most efficient ways of doing things. She also lives in the moment as she doesn’t always have the time to plan ahead. (Checks out to me.)

Title: Maid of Time. Don’t have much commentary regarding that :/ sorry

(And here it begins. Is this character a Maid? I don’t think so- Maids have a pretty classic character arc of being pushed around and then snapping and going absolute bonkers- Aradia beats Vriska to literal death, Kanaya chainsaws Eridan, and Jane…. oh boy, half of Act 6 is Jane’s.) (Is this character a Time player? I often use the phrase “Chosen by Time” in my reviews, because Time players are so DISTINCT, and required by Sgrub/Sburb. Time players aren’t chosen to be such because they like clocks or time, but because they have traits that allow them to whether the endless destruction and struggle that the Red Mantle puts on their shoulders. She needs a core of restlessness, a core of churning, if placid. EZ says that “at their worst they are ruthless, defensive, and impulsive”, which I think helps put them into perspective. Time players can and will lash back out at you.) (I think… this might be a Void player. She’d need an overhaul just to be something other than a walking clock reference, but she has the makings of one of those. A draw towards creation but in a lowkey sense, expanding on things that are already known…) (Otherwise, she may be a Space Player. She has that creation focus, and she reminds me more of 1-4 Jade than any Time player in Canon. Jade also leaned very heavily into her Time inversion for most of her life, to the point where she received Seer of Time powers for quite a while.)

I have to agree here. I think if you wanted her to be a Maid of Time you’d really have to lean into what I addressed under the personality section. She has to be ready to SNAP. Her narrative would have to be about being pushed around and then she lets go and finally embodies the full chaotic force of time.  Otherwise, she’s just not a time player or a maid. Space player is where I’m leaning, personally. They embody the patience and mutability you describe here way more and they also tend to be of the craftier and more hands-on sort. Void player is also a great way to go for a creative. You’d have to lean into her interest in the universe, in the unknown- you address her caring about universal constants, but why? That’s the sort of question the Void assignment would ask. 

[fantroll-purgatory]

(Please imagine she has some more scars on her left arm, I couldn’t work on the model anymore)

D: I am so sorry but in the time it took for me to get to this the link to your troll picture has expired, and I unfortunately don’t remember enough to recreate it.

Name: Demiti Melior.

I have no idea where Demiti came from, probably some generator, but Melior is Latin for “better” which ties into her personality

Given that you later introduce a snake lusus (and I kinda like it since it cements her as a treacherous social climber), how about the first name Kulkan, from the Mayan variant of Quetzalcoatl, “Kukulkan?“ Since Quetzalcoatl is a flying snake I feel it also cements her desire to be higher than those whose blood lands higher on the hemospectrum

Age: ~7 sweeps

Strife Specibus:halbardkind.

Mostly stemmed from me trying to find a slightly more unique bladed weapon to use, but she finds them “eleganttt anddd practicalll” due to the reasonably elegant appearance, showiness and grandness, and the multiple types of weapon head.

How about a handheld sickle? It’s curved, which works with the snake-y theme, and it’s also a farmer’s tool. Rather than show it off, it can be yet another indicator that Kulkan is not of higher blood (though it would be a GREAT weapon for a legislacerator!)

Fetch Modus: Etching Modus

Basically the pictionary modus, but the cards begin as small chalk slabs that the item is etched into instead of being drawn onto. Because carving is one of her only other interests

This doesn’t come up anywhere else in the bio, which isn’t automatically a hit against it. I kind of like a more whimsical one: a balloon modus, with each balloon containing a captcha card with an item. To retrieve an item, she has to successfully hit the balloon containing the item she wants. This is difficult because both her original and revised weapon are short-range, and it further cements her as someone who’s reaching upwards in the hopes of finding what she needs.

Blood color:Teal

Picked because it’s a lower mid blood to contrast her superiority complex

Symbol and meaning: Unfortunately not much backstory here. I knew my fantroll needed a symbol and I was doodling on some work. It may have been a letter from an alphabet I made up but I don’t remember. Probably just a doodle

Well, since we no longer have the picture that leaves me plenty of room to just make one up!

This is a weather symbol meaning “visibility obscured by smoke,” which I kind of like for someone who can never quite see the top due to all the toxicity they themselves create. It’s also curvy, like a serpent!

Trolltag: dreamyEpidemic

Came from a generator, and I was very fond of it. This was sort of before I had her personality solidified, so I’m open to suggestions

What about sinuousTufthunter? A snaky social climber.

Quirk:Repeatssss the lastttt consonantttt offff a wordddd severalll timesss

She had a snake S quirk (ssssort of like thisssss) for a while but I figure that’s probably terribly overused so repeated consonants were what I decided on

I like it! If I may suggest an alternate, maybe add a question mark to the end of her sentences? It’s a phenomenon known as uptalking? It means making the pitch of your voice go up at the end of sentences? It’s common when people try to parody valley girls?

Special Abilities (if any):Nothing, she’s very intelligent as most teal bloods are but that’s about it

Lusus: A giant spiny bush viper 2-3 times as long as Demiti is tall. Her lusus is pretty scarred up for reasons below.

Sort of a convoluted reason here. I really like spiny bush vipers, so I thought that may make a neat lusus. I often call them “little dragon snakes” which ties in to the most well known teal blood lusus, and her symbol makes me think of serpents or something similar.

I think that still tracks even with the invented symbol! If you want to go twee, you could slap a pair of bird wings on her to call back to Quetzalcoatl, but that may stray dangerously close to just Being A Dragon. I am, as always, tempted to spice it up by giving it two mouths like Slypher the Sky Dragon, which we see from Nepeta’s lusus is a perfectly acceptable way to make a lusus sufficiently weird that it’s not just a Big Animal.

Personality: She has a superiority complex despite being a mid blood, and she knows she’s a mid blood. If someone calls her out on it - often because they are higher on the hemospectrum - she will desperately find some other thing to be superior at. She’s vengeful, spiteful, snobbish, and generally unpleasant. The one or two friends she actually has are also victim to relentless teasing and insult based humour. She has very little regard for consequence or the feelings of people not extremely close to her.

Interests: Strifing, a lot. She really likes to fight. She and her lusus are covered in scars from constant “friendly” strifes. Aside from that, she likes taking things apart and trying to put them together into something else, and carving weird little things out of stone, wood, clay, ivory and pretty much anything else.

Hmmm. I like that she’s covered in scars, but I would like it to be from more than just sparring with her lusus; id she’s really as vengeful as you say, it’s possible that some of her scars are from standing up to people who are quick to retaliate! The hobby of pulling things apart seems a little sudden in this bio, but I’ll let it pass because she seems to also like verbally pulling her friends apart. The carving still doesn’t track for me; I might even accept that she goes deep-sea treasure hunting, since we are given clear visual indicators that gold is a sign of status among seadweller royalty.

Title: I actually haven’t thought a whole lot about that

I mean if you’d gotten to me a few years ago I would’ve said that her problem is not knowing her place and I would try to assign a class on the basis of that…but the hemospectrum is BULLSHIT so fuck that. As someone who wishes to climb the social ladder but does so through destructive means…I would say she could be a Bard of Hope (which unfortunately means she doubles up titles with Cronus, whoops).

Dream Planet:I have no idea, suggestions please

You didn’t mention a moon but I think she fits better with Derse than with Prospit; she’s a social climber, but she doesn’t feel she’s *destined* for greatness.

For her planet, as much as it pains me to repeat an attribute we’ve already seen in canon I definitely thing she should have one that includes Angels specifically because of the social climbing aspect and the reference to Quetzalcoatl. Maybe Land of Angels and Avalanches? LOAAA? It would be a land where the consorts are under constant threat and where travel is difficult due to many of the conventional land routes being blocked by fallen rocks, and it would be her quest to clear certain key paths so the denizen is reachable and able to exit from the core of the land.

~~~~~

For the heck of it, a tentative idea for her ancestor:

The Huntress

She refused to go into the civil servant jobs typical of teal bloods, and instead took her bloodlust and became a highly skilled assassin. She was involved in many convoluted high-blood plots, and made a lucrative career out of it. Her assasinations were flawless: silent, efficient, unseen. It’s said her marks never knew she was there until her spear was clean through their chest. She grew so confident in her skill however that she underestimated the depth of one of the insane high-blood plots she was involved in, and underestimated her target. She was caught off guard and killed by the one she was sent to kill.

The Huntress is a very, very common ancestor name. It was even the ancestor name I came up with for my first fantroll! Furthermore, ancestors exist to either contrast or highlight the details of their descendant, so while I like her as an assissin you may want to revise the bio to match with what you’ve already written about Kulkan.

The Badinage (meaning “banter”)

An assassin who went uncaught for sweeps due to her cowardly method of murder; extracts of her lusus’s poison, secretly administered to her highblood marks in the guise of friendly teatime conversation. How dishonorable! Can she even call herself a killer with her smooth, unblemished skin, unmarred by combat? The elegance with which she carried herself brought her purchase in many top-tier social circles, which she exploited with a smile and her pinky held high. Her death was as dishonorable as her life; an outraged ceruleanblood discovered that her lover had been killed in such a manner and sicked The Badinage’s own lusus on her, leaving both her and the snake a bloody mass of scar tissue.

~~~~~

There we go, fly at it, I have a tendency to write flat characters so feel free to absolutely tear this apart.

I think the bones of your character are very strong indeed!

I felt so bad that we lost your original sprite so I made you a new one!

Hair - this is heavily edited from one of fan-troll’s sprite sheets. I know it’s cliche for snake trolls to have curly hair but I love ti so much!

Horns - these are Callie’s horns from her headband turned sideways. It’s a perfect mimic for her new sign!

Bandage - this is from a tumblr that used to use the username uriman, but alas! they do not seem to be around anymore. I added a hole where he horns would poke out.

Eyes - I wanted to just fuck one of her eyes UP to show the damage from fighting with her lusus/other trolls. The other one is edited from a fantrollartroom template.

Mouth - once again from fantrollartroom! They look a little fang-y

Shirt - I went with the typical plain Alternian black shirt and added the new symbol in Terezi’s blood color.

Skirt - I used a combination between Kanaya’s skirt and fan-troll’s skirt. I mainly wanted it because the waves of the skirt mimic her symbol!

Shoes - I used fantrollartroom’s combat boot template and spruced it up a bit.

Anyway, thanks for your patience! I really enjoyed reviewing this troll!

-TR

[fantroll-purgatory]

Xártit Maileō

This is her: http://cottonsyrup333.deviantart.com/art/Fantroll-619615785

Alright, you’ve given her a kind of bare bones structure, which I can understand. Sometimes plotting out a troll can be difficult. The most significant theme I see here, of course, is Independence. You want to give her a story about coming into herself and becoming more independent. That’s a really good potential narrative! I’m going to try to organize things to fit that theme a little more soundly.

 As for the name, we should touch it up, since I can’t find any origin for it! 

I think Caluma Wollst is the way to go. Caluma is a shortening (Calumma) of a common name for Chameleons. I do want to keep the chameleon theme because the association with the change of color does kind of metaphorically fit with the literal change you want your character to go through. Mary Wollstone was a famous feminist, and her story of uprising and her public demands for independence and equal treatment make me think about the narrative you want for your fantroll! Caluma Wollst.  

Planet: Beforus Blood: Ivy Green(looks like Kanaya’s color)

Now… it’s not often that I shift from a common blood color to an uncommon one, but I think making her a limeblood might be a good bet. If only because they’re historically oppressed on Beforus and her being under the control and influence of others makes more sense if she’s filling this sort of role. Jadebloods are too well-respected for the narrative to work as well with that. 

Title: Maid of Light

I honestly think Page of Breath is probably the better role for her! Starting out very weak-willed and all the bonds and responsibilities and the weight of her blood all coming to her, but learning to become her own person with her own direction and goals, finding her independence. 

Sign: Chamaeleon trollTag: alternateColoration

I think that her tag should be something that more reflects her desire to be herself, but also her current reliance. Maybe transformingCharge? 

Quirk: - Writes a period between each letter “ l.i.k.e t.h.i.s ” to represent independence from others

- oo becomes oO to look like her lusus

I don’t think this is really a necessary addition when you already have the period thing, which works well enough for the theme you’re going for, especially considering I don’t think the “oO” will read particularly like the lusus (which I’m going to be changing anyways, sorry!).  

Dreamer: Prospit strifeKind: syringeKind

Wh… why? Alright- I think that she should perhaps actually have NO strife specibus. Now I know that’s kind of weird, but. Beforus is a far less violent planet and limebloods have a tricky history, especially considering the coddling nature of Feferi’s rule on Beforus. So maybe she has to rely on others to protect her at first and can adopt a weapon later!

Lusus: 5ft tall lion w/ scales and chameleon eyes

I think we should Just do a chameleon. The lion is an interesting addition, surely, but it really doesn’t themeatically fit in place or have any cohesive attachment to her nature! It also allows us to focus on the solitary nature of chameleons. They prefer to live alone and are very independent. Maybe the lusus prefers to keep to herself and didn’t do much for Caluma, and maybe Caluma was forced at a young age to rely on the Beforan government?

Age: 7.4 sweeps(16yrs) Land: Land of Watches and Color

I think she should have a land and a quest that requires her to kind of work on her own and become her own hero. Like once she crosses a particular threshold, no one can come with her. She has to become the hero of her land and defeat something all alone, all by her own will. Maybe she even has to overcome the will of another creature that is trying to control her? Maybe that creature’s will is even covering the whole land. Land of Will and Sovereignty. 

Consorts: Blue newts who like coins(change-oh the metaphors)

That’s a funny enough pun that I’ll allow it. And blue newts are good, because they also are solitary animals! 

Fetch Modus: Independence cards- must do something on her own to captchalouge the card 

Though this is a nice callback to the theme, it’s kind of confusing and not well-defined. Maybe it could be a Confidence Modus that requires her to perform something she’s usually afraid of doing in public- like singing? Or saying something she thinks out loud. In order to obtain her possessions. 

Personality: - very passive in the beginning , always follows what others say - becomes independent towards the end and doesn’t overly rely on others

On to the design!:

Because of her general nature, I wanted to give her a somewhat generic looking design, a sort of neutral limeblood look. I tried to keep the silhouette of the hair you gave her while also making the hair more troll-y. I gave her horns that resemble her symbol’s curled bits. I also gave her a fuchsia cape to represent the kind of dependence she has. As she develops as a character, you could probably give her a more complex design that stands out more!

-CD