#even though ive all but confirmed its nothing serious and got checked out its still..... im so sick

[exmeowstic]

👍 update im doing bad

[whats-rambled-rambled]

Stuck in reverse - pt 3

Neil x Reader

Chapter 3: Bad guy

(<- see Chapter 2)

(<- see Chapter 1)

summary: you and Neil end up on an undercover mission together, but what should you do with all that free time?

warnings: alcohol consumption, blood mention, swearing

author’s note: this one surprisingly works as a standalone fic as well, I had  fun writing playful banter and flirting, hope you enjoy it!

---

It was a chilly evening, but it wasn’t bothering you. You inhaled a cold air deep into your lungs.

That’s more like it.

You really enjoyed the thrill of being on a mission, when you could lock all the bullshit deep inside and just focus on a task ahead: quick undercover scout of the location, then stopping a local kingpin from acquiring some inverted materials. You could already feel all your senses sharpening, you were ready for the hunt.

You heard Neil’s footsteps behind you. You glanced over your shoulder and smirked.

“Aww, no tie?” you teased, trying not to laugh as you watched the hint of confusion on his face.

“What?”

“Nothing, you not wearing one on a..." – you cleared your throat - "...night out used to be a rare sight, that’s all.”

You didn’t mind though.

Neil blinked twice and crossed his arms. “Oh I’m sorry, should I go and change now?” He looked you up and down, a shade of smile tinted his lips. “I wouldn’t want to be under-dressed.”

“What, you don’t like my converse?” you huffed and mirrored his pose. “Hey, I enjoy a good pair of heels, just can’t save the day wearing them.”

“Fair enough,” he said and smiled, tilting his head and looking at you with those playful sparks in his eyes. “You look amazing.”

You raised one eyebrow and chuckled. “So do you. Now... shall we?”

The loud music hit you as soon as you entered the club, the bass blasting in your eardrums. While you were trying to mentally match the club’s layout from the brief to the actual location, Neil reached to his pocket for the phone. After few seconds he tapped you on a shoulder and showed you the screen with a message from Ives: “Uncle Bob is running late – looks like an hour, so have fun.”

You nodded and pointed at the bar. “Drinks?” you mouthed. No point in yelling, he couldn’t hear you anyway.

By the time you reached the counter, you already spotted eight security guards in various locations inside the hall, two of them trying to remain undercover in their civilian clothes.

Neil leaned against the bar.

“Nine,” he said, looking at you for confirmation.

You positioned yourself close to him so nobody could eavesdrop. The music was still annoyingly loud. You knew everyone entering the club was carefully examined at the entrance and that the club’s security was paying close attention to anyone behaving suspiciously, they weren’t willing to take any chances, especially that night. You were more than happy that Neil was your partner for that mission – you trusted him enough to just roll with anything the situation might require to remain unnoticed.

“Huh, I have eight, who did I miss?”

Neil gave you a half-smile.“The redhead at the end of the counter,” he said.

You didn’t even have to look at that direction, you knew exactly which one he meant. You smacked your lips, annoyed at your poor judgement.

“Damn, she’s hot,” - you nudged him lightly - “you sure she wasn’t just checking you out because of how incredibly handsome you are?”

“One hundred percent,” Neil laughed dryly.

“Nine then. Excuse me,” - you waved at the bartender to get their attention- “one gin&tonic and one vodka tonic.” You could hear Neil’s chuckle, so you shot a quick look at your partner. “Two can play that game, my dear.”

“Blimey.”

The smug expression on his face definitely made your heartbeat increase its pace. You shook your head and tried to stifle a giggle.

When your drinks arrived, you switched to a meaningless small talk, so no one would bother you while you were focused on locating things that might give you any advantage later on. There was still over half an hour of time left and you felt that you need to move to cover more ground, but you couldn’t just get up and walk around without drawing too much attention to yourself. Then you heard a familiar melody and gasped at that perfect excuse.

“Hey, wanna dance?” you grinned at Neil, your hips already swaying to the rhythm.

He pointed at his half-full drink. “Go ahead, I’ll join you in a bit.”

The dance floor was an excellent vantage point, you spotted two more guards hanging out at the back near the entrance to the VIP lounge. You let the music run through you, it almost felt like every part of your body was vibrating with that insane bass. You noticed Neil staring at you from across the room, but that only boosted your self-confidence. You knew you were good at this and it surely felt nice.

The song switched to something new, so you went back to the bar. You wanted to tease Neil about just sitting there instead of joining you but someone tapped your shoulder.

“Eyyy sexy, can I buy ya a drink?”

You turned your head and saw a guy smiling slyly from his seat. A quick look told you enough: a random stranger, pretty drunk, one of those business douches who considered themselves gods.

“No, thanks,” you replied, turning your back to him to strengthen the message.

“Come on, one drink!” he insisted. And then he grabbed your arm.

You could hear Neil’s glass clanking against a counter a bit too hard, but you were quicker. With one swift move you grabbed a toothpick from an abandoned drink next to you and pressed it against man’s thigh, hard enough for him to feel pain, but not hard enough to break the skin. He yelped and his eyes widened.

“Touch me one more time, I dare you,” your voice was dripping with sugar, but your eyes were deadly serious. “No means no, you twat, now piss off!”

The man squirmed and raised his hands in a defensive way. “Okay, okay,” he hissed and stood up. “Fucking bitch.”

You realized you were holding your breath the entire time, so you forced yourself to inhale and turned back to Neil. Your partner’s expression was a mixture of concern and amusement, so you let out a nervous laugh and ran the fingers though your hair.

“What’s wrong with those guys, I swear,” you shook your head, disgusted. You checked the time, 20 minutes.

Neil finished his drink and leaned your way. “Redhead and baldie over there have been watching the whole thing, come on,” - he said and reached out his hand - “I owe you a dance.”

You took Neil’s hand and followed him to the dance floor. You both knew you had to put on a bit of a show to keep the suspicion off your backs.

The rhythm of the song playing was a bit slower than before, the mood was heavier, made you think about a hot summer night. You could feel the bass pulsing in your veins, your heartbeat slowly getting in sync with it. Neil’s eyes found yours, you felt his gentle touch on your hand. You remembered he was a good dancer. He wasn’t a party beast, far from it, actually, but damn, seeing him move always made you swoon. That night was no different. Your bodies tuned to each other instantly, on one hand that was a familiar feeling, on the other- ...something changed, but you couldn’t put your finger on it yet, and to be honest, you didn’t really care in that moment. For the next few minutes nothing else mattered anymore, there was no mission, no past, no guilt. Only Neil and you, lost in the music, in each other’s closeness, in the rising warmth between the two of you.

Someone bumped into your back, making you lose your balance and fall into Neil’s arms.

“I've got you,” he said softly right into your ear.

His warm breath on your neck sent shivers down your spine and made you forget how to speak for a second. You pulled back to look at him and smiled, your heart singing in your chest.

With the corner of your eye you noticed a sudden change in the security’s behavior. Go time.

Neil must have seen the same thing, because he nodded and guided you back to the bar. The next few moments were crucial, but you already had a plan. You winked at Neil, took his hand and began to lightly stroke his long fingers. Then you got the bartender’s attention.

“Hey, settle this for us, we were wondering if you have any...” - you intertwined your fingers with Neil’s - “...tenets about PDA here,” you said, biting your lip at the sudden touch of Neil’s hand on your waist.

The bartender rolled their eyes and slid a glass of water your way. You could see a shiny metal object under the glass.

“Not really, but I recommend avoiding the main lobby,” they laughed and turned to the next customer.

You exchanged a quick look with Neil. So they are switching the swap location. With his hand still on your waist, he pulled you a bit closer, raising the other hand and slowly tucking a part of your hair behind your ear. That gave you enough time to get the key and hide it in his pocket.

You made your way to the toilet area of the club, where the storage was supposed to be. You maneuvered around the guards playing a tipsy couple, giggling and leaning on each other, not so different from other party couples around you. There were less people next to the storage, thank the Universe, you couldn’t proceed with the mission without getting your stuff first. Neil took the key and opened the lock, he was about to press the handle when you spotted another guard coming your way. You grabbed Neil by the front of his shirt and pulled him your way, slamming your back against the wall painfully. Your eyes locked with his. You buried your face in the crook of his neck. Neil’s hand grazed your hip, the other one, holding the key, slid behind your back. You closed your eyes so you could focus on the sound of footsteps around you, trying to tune out the overwhelming scent of Neil’s cologne.

“I think we’re clear,” he said in a husky voice.

You decided not to comment on it, focusing on leveling your own breath.

Neil entered the storage and you followed him, quickly closing the door behind you. You found your gear hidden in one of the boxes at the back of the room: a lockbox with a laptop, a pair of pistols, silencers, ammo, walkies, a backpack and two bulletproof vests. You opened the computer and ran a program, connecting it to the club’s security system and allowing it to access all the cameras in the building. Meanwhile, Neil got final instructions from Ives and checked the guns. The meeting had already begun. You watched two men carefully examining the contents of a black suitcase. There. Some of the parts dropped back into their hands. What the hell did they need it for?

Neil tossed you your vest, already equipped with everything you needed. Then you had to trigger some silent alarms to smoke the bastards out of that place, but without scaring the civilians in the club. The less people outside, the better. You tapped few command lines into the software and watched the guards outside the transaction room jump at their places, one of them going inside to alert the bosses, the other one rushing to check for the intruders.

You packed all your things to the backpack and gave it to Neil. He pushed three boxes together so you could easily reach the small window near the ceiling, allowing you both to drop in the back alley.

Clear. You jumped down quietly and ran towards the back entrance, where you expected some company. Neil was right behind you, taking cover at the other side of the door. 3...2...1.

The door opened with a loud thud and you grabbed the first man that went through them. He didn’t put up much of a fight, bless his soul.

The next one was quite a different story.

Same as all the others after him.

Next thing you knew, you were ducking into cover behind some dumpster, shots being fired in your direction.

“Just like old times, huh?” Neil laughed as he joined you a moment later, hitting his back against the dumpster. There was a moment of silence and he wanted to get up, but you grabbed his arm and shook your head.

“Wait.”

Two more shots.

Why does nobody count?

“Now!”

You focused your fire at two remaining guards while your partner ran after a guy trying to escape with the inverted materials. Poor bastard didn’t have a chance. Neil shot him in the leg long before he could reach a car parked at the end of the alley.

You made sure none of the guards remained a threat and you joined Neil near the knocked-out man.

“Took you long enough,” you said, looking around for any witnesses. Luckily, the street was empty, thanks to late hour and the work of Ives and the rest of the team, of course.

“You told me to wait!” Neil scoffed, checking out the suitcase. Everything seemed to be in place.

“And you’re welcome.”

You wiped the sweat from your forehead and hissed from the sudden pain. You looked at your fingers. Blood.

Neil jumped on his feet, clearly worried.

“Y/N, your brow...” he raised his hand as if he wanted to examine your wound, but he hesitated. He placed it on your shoulder instead and looked into your eyes. “You okay?”

You put your hand on his chest and smiled reassuringly. “I’m fine Neil, what about you?”

Neil nodded and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a hug.

Oh.

You noticed your team’s car approaching from the distance.

(next Chapter ->)

[obeymeluv]

Hi lovely! I’m not sure if your requests are open but I just worked out for the first time since ive gotten super depressed! It might not be that big of a deal but can I get some geadcannons on how the brothers would react to this? (: (their lover working out for the first time in months because of their mental illness)

I respect this so hard and am super proud of you. I have similar struggles so it always makes me happy to see someone able to get back up. Good job :) These headcanons will be short because I’m getting ready for bed and have to get into school mode, but here you go! ♥ 

Lucifer

It wasn’t uncommon for him to wake you up, or even gently start the day by sitting at your bedside and whispering sweet nothings

He opens the door soundlessly, as always, and is quite surprised to see you in the middle of doing a yoga series. Thankfully, your back is to the door

Pride blossoms in his chest and, for the first time, it doesn’t feel heavy like the burden of his sin

It’s warm and joyful and feels like an old memory of the Celestial Realm, a call back to happier days

His eyes mist over a bit but no one can confirm it

Lucifer is a perfect, beautiful statue that watches for a few poses before slowly inching back towards the doorway to peek around the corner

Pretends like he never saw anything when you go about the rest of your day, but is absolutely glowing when he looks at you.

Lavishes you in his fancy praise, as always. (”You look enchanting, my love. Simply radiant today.”)

Mammon

He’ll deny it to the day he dies, but he craves your company.

Actually, he’s more likely to admit it when you’re in a depressive episode because you’re tender and vulnerable and that’s how he really is when he lets his guard down. That’s when people need the most love, and you’ve put him back together so much that he wants to repay the favor 1,000x fold

Mammon’s very surprised to see you running careful laps up one set of stairs and down the set on the other end of the hallway (that explains why it took him so long to find you).

It’s like speed walking. He watches for a lap and a half to make sure you’re not rushing off anywhere. You know, making sure nothing’s serious

When he realizes you’re exercising in earnest he’s super stoked. Like, #1 hype man.

“That’s my human! Yeah!” Mammon becomes your cheerleader

Drops sly comments about how it’s actually a good glute workout and he’ll give you a massage afterwards

Keeps up with you more than you’d expect (models train hard, okay?) but does get bored. Maintains cheer position

Carries you around the rest of the day when your legs are sore

Levi

Levi had to do a fair bit of research on depression when he realized you weren’t converting to being a fellow otaku shut-in

The two of you still enjoyed cuddle times, and sometimes he could engage you in games, but the health of his beloved was important! Humans couldn’t be without exercise for too long or it would be bad for them

It’s super awkward but he tries to invite you swimming and things. Sometimes you just don’t have the energy. He understands, and is totally down for cuddling you (with partial back rubs) while playing games

Makes sure you eat and definitely splits his rations

Enjoys the small walks from his room to yours, and makes sure you guys drift between them a couple of times a day. That helps humans, right?

Levi realizes fairly quickly that you haven’t been to his room in a while and goes to check on you

You’re hopping in patterns across the floor, slowly making your way to his room.

You look like you’re having fun!

He’s not sure what you’re doing, but you hop, you squat, then you lunge.

You lock eyes with Levi mid-lunge and wobble a bit. He’s a little pink in the face, but because he’s laughing in sheer delight at how spooked you looked.

You end up flopping over and Levi crouches beside you, offering his hand

When he hears you finally had a burst of energy and wanted to work out, to start over again, he’s very proud of you

May or may not have compared you to Henry and shared some of the more harrowing moments the hero went through (also how he’s awesome and came back better than ever!)

Invites you for a swim and you actually accept

After some laps and splashing about, you spend time floating and cuddling

Satan

Depression is sometimes just a thing humans go through, Satan is finding out.

Between Devildom books and human books, he kind of understands

It’s a thing of time, and sometimes other methods help. He personally thinks the lack of sun in the Devildom is the main culprit

Gives you healthy snacks and tracks down vitamins

Tries to get you to walk the gardens but realizes he can’t force it

Sometimes he gets you outside, reading under trees and lanterns

Satan roamed the House of Lamentation, intending to steal you for another outside reading session, and was surprised to find you out there already

He watched from a high window, peeking tentatively from behind the thick curtain, and let the amused smile cut his lips

Suddenly, you disappeared out of sight. Satan waited for what felt like ages until the logic of ‘the fastest way between Point A and B is a straight line’ kicked in. He held his book carefully, unlatched the window, and jumped out

Demons have good joints and sturdier bodies. The drop and landing was nothing for him.

He calls your name and starts walking around.

It’s not until he’s made a full lap and you’re giggling (behind him somehow?) that he realizes you’re just leisurely walking laps around the house

Super embarrassed that he got worried (and that you ended up behind him). Jumps when you touch his shoulders or if you hugged him around the waist

You’re happy and...yourself for the first time in a while and Satan’s heart is so happy. Before you can break the hug, he twines his fingers with yours and just holds your hand to his body

Eventually you break away, kiss his shoulders, and start a game of tag that turns into sky-watching, and laying on his chest as he reads 

Asmodeus

He knows how to break hearts but he ALSO knows how to fix him

He’s always trying to get his brothers to hang out and make good memories. Despite what he says and how he acts, he really cares for them from the bottom of his heart

You count, too. You’re like, top tier. Basically family. VIP space. Maybe SPOUSE space (but that’s too fast for a human, right?)

Though rare and private, Asmo has his bad days, too. They can either be fixed, or they can’t. Usually things are just distractions. The heart will heal in its own time.

Asmo went to your room with the latest round of pampering but stopped short of announcing himself. Does he hear...music?

Nudging the door open with his foot, his eyes light up so pink the gradient is disappearing.

You’re dancing and humming, making faces at yourself in the mirror.

His heart clenches with a beautiful pain because you’re so vibrant and lively and he knows it was hard for you to find this again

The pampering is abandoned for an impromptu PRIVATE dance party

Silly and sweet things, waltzing and just being close, hugging as you sway side to side

Lots of forehead kisses and pet names.

Beelzebub

He didn’t think your behavior was out of the ordinary since Belphie slept a lot.

Beel is always motivated by something--food, sports, working out, family stuff--so he’s not familiar with the lack of desire to do anything

When he learns you’re not just catching up on sleep and you might be having a rough time, he asks Lucifer and Satan what to do

They decide you should work out. That releases endorphins in humans and that sounds like what you need!

The attempts don’t go well, but you’ll at least come out of your room and be a resistance weight for him

Beel went into the weight room to do some pre-warm up exercises. He was mentally planning his reps and figuring out what muscle groups were on the schedule when he heard the clinking of weights

His brothers had other ways of working out so that meant only one person could be in the weight room

Beelzebub stamped down the urge to rush in and watch you in all your occupied glory, reminding himself you could drop a weight on yourself (or worse)

His purr gives him away

He’s proud, borderline excited, and just purrs long and loud from the entryway

Jumps into the workout with you, doing light exercises

Beel gets a little playful adjusting your posture, but it’s all sweet hugs and rocking you back and forth

Regardless of what muscle groups were on the schedule for the day, it’s arm day because he’s lifting you up, throwing you a little, and catching you in his arms

Give this happy, snuggly boy some kisses  

Belphegor

He can sense your state of mind by the nature of his sin. He sleeps a lot and has a knack for telling when someone’s sleep is anything but restful

Belphegor’s not 100% sure, but he thinks he can tap into your dream space. There’s this little ball of sad-tired-something that lets him know you’re not okay

There’s quiet mini-dates that ease the sting of your sadness, but he knows it’s not enough

When he sleeps, he has dreams about you being happy and hopes he can push them into your mind

Cuddles fix things. He’s down for couple naps.

Belphegor goes in and out of sleep; it’s during one of his periods of waking that he notices you’re not there

Hugging his pillow, he shuffles about the House of Lamentation to find you

He finds you cleaning and organizing the kitchen. Cleaning is a sign of healing, right? Lots of movement?

Belphegor realizes you’re doing more than cleaning. You’re stretching and lifting things like they’re Beel’s weights

It looks time-consuming, and like you’ve been at it for a while

Belphie plonks his head on your shoulder, asking how you’re feeling. He’s got that sleepy Cheshire Cat smile

You’re just as happy as can be, happier than he’s seen you in a while, and you celebrate by stealing a bunch of snacks and making a blanket fort in his room 

Hope you liked it :)

[ajokeformur-ray]

To be healed from the outside // Gen x Arthur // needle phobia  comfort.

@daincrediblegg -  So I’m afraid of needles... like BIG time. I’ve passed out just getting my blood tested so many times. The other day when I had my bad migraine I had to go to urgent care for, I had to get an IV and god my nerves were so fried and I was so nervous... I guess where I’m going with this is how would artie calm me down from that? Especially when it’s all over like I still have a bruise from it and I can totally see him kissing it a lot to make me feel better

A/N: I’m really nervous about this piece because you’re you and I love you skksskskk I hope that you enjoy this!! If there’s anything you want changed or added to, please let me know and I’ll make the necessary changes! Arthur loves you and he’s so, so proud of you! <3 He’s right there even if you can’t feel him, darling, he wouldn’t leave you for anything or anyone.

A/N #2: I also owe a massive thank you to @jokershyena​ - I’m not too knowledgeable on migraines and what they can do to you so I reached out for some help and received a ton - so be sure to send Lil some love as well ksksksk <3

‘---’ denotes a time skip.

Word count: 2, 748.

It was never more evident that Arthur was a natural caregiver, a natural worrier, than when you were feeling anything less than happiness in every bone of your body. When you were even a little bit not okay, Arthur was there with open arms, listening ears, wise words and all the love in the world for you. So big was his heart that if it was quantified into a real place, it’d be bigger than Tokyo. You had always been there for him, always, and as such, though Arthur displayed care for all others that he came across, even when they treated him like something underfoot, you received all of the love in his heart. Without question.

When you were coming down with something, when you were definitely ill or when you had a migraine, Arthur had always waited on you hand and foot. He would cancel shifts at Ha-Ha’s, even as worried as he was about paying the rent on time at the end of the month, he would ration his cigarettes just so that he could stay at home with you for longer without having to leave unless you needed something. Arthur was always there for you. He never faltered or stumbled in his care and his sheer unadulterated love for you, and right now was no exception.

Your migraine was bigger than you, bigger than the pharmaceutical painkillers which Arthur had bought from Helms’ for you, bigger than the blackout curtains which Arthur had found in the back of the air conditioning cupboard... your head throbbed in the worst pain you had felt yet. Lying down wasn’t helping. Sitting at an angle wasn’t helping. Arthur’s deft fingers in your hair wasn’t helping as he tried to massage the pain away for you. All the sleep in the world wasn’t doing any good, it seemed, and the longer you stayed at home, the worse it got.

In the end, both of you acknowledged that it was time for you to go to the hospital. Migraines were not something to mess with and you weren’t able to beat it yourself, so it was off to urgent care at the hospital. The entire way there was your hand tightly held in Arthur’s. Your sunglasses, so sensitive were you to light, were large enough that they entirely shielded your eyes, but still was the gloomy day in Gotham too bright for you. Even behind closed lids could you still see some light and it was only making your head throb all the more. You groaned periodically, feeling more than a little nauseous, and Arthur’s knees were bouncing a million a minute, his entire body alight with tension and with worry. He was almost sick with it. Almost.

But he had to be strong for you, he had to be, and he had to be brave. You needed him, you needed him, and Arthur would do and be anything for you, his Gen. With your hand tightly held in his the entire time, his thumb stroking soothingly along the back of your hand, Arthur got you seen to. He barely left your side, knowing how scared you were. Both of you knew that you were afraid of needles and both of you knew that this was serious enough to warrant you facing your fear. When at last were you checked in, seated and waiting to be seen to in the disturbingly bright waiting area, you heaved, not prepared for the stark lighting. Even through your sunglasses was it like direct sunlight and hurriedly, not knowing what else to do, did Arthur shed his dark cardigan and ease the sleeves across your shoulders, pulling up the back of the cardigan so that it could rest over your face. If you had felt even a little better, you would have smiled at such an ingenious solution on Arthur’s part, but as it was could you only squeeze his hand in silent gratitude, in relief. 

It had helped.

Your name was eventually called and Arthur walked with you, the cardigan still over your head, and he guided you through the long corridors. You had so much trust in Arthur this moment, unable to stomach the too bright lights and the white walls, the white floors... it was making your stomach roil and you heard him murmuring quietly to the staff member on hand, who had expressed concerns over your state. The room was ready for you; industrial blackout curtains. It was dark enough that you could barely see through your sunglasses, and as Arthur lifted the cardigan off your face, he murmured a quiet, “peekaboo”, a tense smile on his face.

You cracked a small one, just for him, and it only made his smile widen into a beam, proud of himself was he for being able to make you smile. Arthur hoped that it’d calm your fears, soon to be confirmed, even just a little. You kept your sunglasses on. Not only because you couldn’t be bothered to take them off, but also because it was dark enough for you with them on. It was the right level of darkness and you wanted to sink into it and to not resurface until after your migraine had gone away. As Arthur and the nurse continued to chat, as the nurse continued to go through the treatment plan, you had made out the words “needle” and “IV” and you had tightened your grip on Arthur’s hand, making him shush you gently. It was a low, soothing noise which cut across the irritatingly loud voice of the nurse. Didn’t he know that you had a migraine? Couldn’t he speak just a little softer?

“Gen, look at me.” The nurse had left the room while you had sat there just coping with the pain and you kept your head where it was but slowly moved your eyes to look at Arthur, who was sat by your bedside holding your one hand in both of his. “There’s... I’m sorry, angel, but there’s gonna be a needle.” Tears welled up and spilled down your cheeks, hot and fast. Arthur cooed in love, always love, and reached forward with one hand to gently wipe your tears away. “I know, darling, I know.” His voice was so soft, so raspy, and it was comforting you. You would be okay, Arthur was here. 

“Please, Arthur... don’t leave me. Please, can you stay?” Your breath caught and you choked on a sob. 

Arthur’s green oceans widened and he stood, stepped closer to you and tenderly, carefully, pressed a kiss to your forehead, his thin, warm lips staying in place upon your skin as he murmured, “I wouldn’t leave you for all the world, Gen. I’m right here with you. I’m right here.”

“You promise?”

“I pinky promise.” Arthur cracked a small smile against your forehead and then gently, gently, pressed a series of kisses all along your forehead, from one temple to the other and then back the way he came, as if the minute traces of his love for you would seep into your pores and heal you from the inside out. “There’s nothing in the world which could ever take me away from you, Gen. Please, I - I just want you to feel better.” 

You felt his bottom lip tremble against your skin and you realised that Arthur was just as scared as you were, but he was scared for you. Your fear was so palpable, so real and so raw in its intensity that it was making Arthur scared, too, so emotionally connected and so in love were the two of you.

The nurse came back into the room but didn’t say anything about how you and Arthur were. The second that the nurse’s cold, gloved hands touched you, you jolted and then groaned because of what the sudden movement did to your head. The nurse must have shot Arthur a look because Arthur scooted the chair closer to your bed, sat down again, and said, “Look at me.”

His soft whisper clued you in and, help you, you whined but Arthur shushed you quietly, casting the nurse a nervous glance. He clearly saw encouragement or perhaps even apathy, you weren’t entirely sure because you only had eyes for your Arthur. Green oceans met and held your own and Arthur leaned forward, his hollowed cheeks so set that his dimples were displayed on either side. His lips touched yours just at the point that the IV began to sink into your vein, and his mouth swallowed your pained noise.

“Shush, Gen, it’s okay, it’s okay - “ Arthur looked over your shoulder, “It’s almost over.” He winced and then, “You’re being so brave for me.” You raised your only free hand and cupped Arthur’s cheek, turning his face to look at you as now was it your turn to comfort him. Oh, but you did everything together and this moment was no exception. You knew not where you found the strength to comfort Arthur even with how you were feeling, but you suspected that it had so much to do with all the love in your heart for this one man, who was so ethereal, so beautiful and so full of magic and of life.

Finally, finally, it was over, and Arthur was immediately there with both hands cupping your face as reverently, slowly, did he press kisses all over your face. No inch of your face or neck went unkissed and that was just how determined Arthur was to love on you as he caught your tears of fear and then of relief with his lips, his tongue... “I’m so proud of you, Gen, and I love you so much. My brave girl.” He smoothed your hair back from your face and sat back in his chair, determined to wait for you, with you, until it was time for you to both go home.

He was a man of his word and there was no way that he would leave you alone for even a second when you were feeling anything less than perfectly happy and content.

“The IV is safely in there. I’ll be back in a few hours then we can see about getting you home, okay, sweetie?” The nurse was chatty and very respectful of your relationship with Arthur.

You nodded, still too lost within your own body to be able to fully function, and Arthur nodded his head with a soft and sweet, “Than - thank you. Will she be okay?”

There was a distracted nod, a half smile, and then the door closed behind the nurse and finally, finally, you were alone. Within twenty minutes, your migraine began to alleviate, and you shut your eyes in relief... 

---

You must have fallen asleep, because the next thing you were aware of was that your head was cradled to Arthur’s chest, thin lips trembling as they pursed kiss after kiss to your temple. There was a tugging on your arm, a pain, and you heard the gentle rumble of Arthur’s shushing in your ear as it reverberated inside his chest.

Your pained moan, the throbbing in your head now much more manageable and tolerable, was the first sign that Arthur had that you were awake. “You’re doing so well, darling. It’s almost done.” It’s almost out wasn’t spoken but it hung in the air between you and you pushed yourself into Arthur, wanting to hide yourself within all that he was, all that he had ever been and all that he would ever be, so deeply and so completely did you love him.

The rest of the time that it took for you to be fully examined and given a clear bill for the end of your treatment passed in a blur. Arthur, long since used to being the man of the house, handled your discharge from the urgent care centre in the hospital. He got you home quickly, quietly and he did everything you could have ever wanted him too, though of course for you did he go far above and beyond. You were his number one priority the entire time and anything you wanted or needed did you receive before you even needed it. At several points did you have to grab his wrist, to catch his attention, and pull him down for a hug; he was still so scared for you but he was still trying to be brave, to hold it all together, for you.

You knew that it was time for Arthur to stop when his green eyes welled up and over with tears. With a soft coo did you pull back the duvet with your free hand, wincing as the fresh purple and blue bruise which was beginning to form in the crook of your elbow made its presence known. Oh, but every time you caught even a glimpse of it was the ghost of the migraine, now almost completely gone, right there in the forefront of your mind. You could feel the sharp sting of the needle, the tugging of the IV being placed in your arm... you eased Arthur down to lay beside you and immediately was his head on your chest, his arm around your waist, his tears soaking your simple shirt.

“Shush, Arthur,” With your good arm did you encircle Arthur’s shoulders, the sharp angles of him so perfectly contrasted with the softness of you, so warm were you, holding him to you. “It’s okay, I’m okay.”

“You were in so much pain,” Arthur’s fingers reached out, and lightly brushed against the still forming bruise. Oh, but it was going to be a pretty big mark. It’d last for at least a week and every time you looked at it did all that fear, that pain, come back to you. “And I couldn’t do anything to help you.”

“But you did, Arthur,” You dropped a kiss to the top of his head, your nose resting on his crown, amongst his dark curls, as you breathed him in. “You were there for me. I feel better because of you. Thank you for taking care of me. You’re always so good to me.”

A pause, a shuddering breath and then, “Do you really feel better, Gen?”

“Pinky promise.”

Arthur heaved a massive sigh of relief, of love, and he eased himself up so that he was kneeling on the bed beside you, laying down, and he leaned over your body so that he could press the lightest, most tenderest kiss to the bruise left over by the IV. “You’re proof that my Gen is so strong that she survived a really bad migraine. I hope that you go away soon.” He bent down again, slowly, carefully out of fear, even now, that he would jostle you too badly with his movements and make you feel the way you had just hours ago, and pressed the sweetest kiss to the centre of the bruise, right on the point where the needle had kissed your flesh, and he peppered kisses all over the bruise. Not an inch was left unkissed. 

When at last had he finished, your eyes shut and the softest smile on your face as you let your Arthur love on you, Arthur’s index finger gently, gently rubbed in the minute traces of his love into your bruise. “The IV healed you from the inside... and my kisses will heal you from the outside.”

Heat bloomed in your chest and spread strongly through your veins, and you smiled the first genuine smile since your migraine had started. “I really love you.” Your smile took over your whole face and Arthur cooed to see such a sight.

“I love you, too, Gen. I really missed your smile. I missed you.” Arthur moved again to resume his previous position, completely melting into your body. So relieved was he that you were feeling better, that he had helped you, that you had been so strong and so brave for him, that exhaustion overtook him. He just wanted to sleep, now.

Now was it your turn to protect Arthur, even from himself, with your own body as you completely wrapped your arms around him, hiked a leg over his hip and made it known that you were there. You nestled down, got cosy, and you shut your eyes, more than ready for sleep. “I’m here, Arthur. I’m not going anywhere.” 

And for the rest of the night... you didn’t.

[intubatedangel]

Barista’s Bad Heart - part 9

(Long part here, a lot of exposition, but it’s fairly important as Anna Swift and the team at Memorial are going to be the main characters of many of my stories going forward. Like a TV medical drama, you’ll see these guys often, but the patients will still get their own introductory part or parts. Hope you enjoy.)

Part 1: https://intubatedangel.tumblr.com/post/183302348002/baristas-bad-heart-part-1 

Other links at the bottom.

***

Advanced Nurse Practitioner Anna Swift leaned against the counter in the centre of the main triage room. She signed off a chart, dropping it into the discharged pile, then picked up her tea. She was young enough, only 26, that she hadn’t lost enough taste buds to handle the grim brown liquid that passed as coffee. She sipped the warm tea and turned to look around the room. Laid out in a hexagon, it was the hub of the emergency department, where patients were initially assessed then shifted to the relevant ward. There were a dozen cubicles in this central room alone, with portable beds to allow patients to be shuffled around easily and efficiently.

 Wide sets of double doors led through to additional cubicles for varying degrees of severity. Each set of doors had large painted panels denoting their intended patients. The blue doors were the minor injuries ward, though most of the staff referred to it as HC, hypochondriac central. Small cuts, basic colds, pretty much anything that could have been sorted by the patient themselves, went through those doors.

 Yellow doors led through to the main treatment ward, simplified to TR by the staff. Simple fractures, bad cuts, sprains and illnesses, anything actually needing treatment or observation went through those doors. It was the biggest of the wards, capable of accommodating over 40 patients without any body sitting on a bed in a corridor.

 Red was the High Severity Unit, HSU. This was for patients that were in potentially serious trouble and needed close observation. Badly broken bones, head injuries and the like. Things that had a chance of suddenly becoming life threatening. 20 patients could be treated, and crash carts were scattered across the ward in case a patient deteriorated. It had its own set of elevators to the radiology department and an internal corridor to the next ward. The ward that had black panels on its doors.

 The Resus Suite was where the life and death action happened. It had access to the ambulance bay to get patients in quick. It was the crowning glory of the Trauma Centres reputation. 12 fully equipped rooms, ready to handle anything the city had to throw at it. It even had a pair of Trauma Theatre’s, and a surgical team on standby. A helicopter pad on the roof had elevators directly to the Resus Suite.

 The Resus Suite was Anna’s primary domain. She would cover the other wards when it was quiet, as she had been doing today, but as soon as that red phone rang, she could drop everything and go to where she thrived. Her gaze fell upon it. It sat on the central column behind the circular counter. It hadn’t rung all day. Somehow, the bustling city had avoided grinding anyone up over the last 8 hours. A couple of minor car crashes, one stabbing and an old lady who tripped over thin air and broke her hip, but nothing that set that phone ringing. Every patient had been conscious and stable as they were brought in.

 “You’d better not be hoping for that phone to ring Anna.” Said a voice behind her. The words were a reprimand, but the tone was friendly, almost playful. She turned to see Doctor Carl Teague, 30 years old, with sandy hair a short, sculpted beard. He was like Anna. They were both young for their positions, he was already an ED consultant, leading their team. Anna had been working with him for two years now. They’d been sleeping together for 6 months.

 “I’m thinking nothing of the sort.” She replied, a look of mock outrage on her face. “I was merely considering that my skills might be being wasted over in HC.”

 He rolled his eyes, filling his current chart in the discharge box. “Think of it this way,” he said quietly, leaning over the counter towards her, “a quiet day, means we have more energy for fun later on.”

 Anna checked that no was watching. “Easy boy. Remember, not at work.” Despite seeing each other for six months, no one at the hospital officially knew they were in a more than professional relationship. It was starting to become a point of contention between them, and she saw him frown slightly. “Soon. Okay. I just want to make sure everyone knows I’m leading because I’m good enough. Not because I’m entangled with the ED’s golden boy.”

 “You’ve proved that time and again already.” He said. “I just…”

 The red phone rang.

 ***

 Anna stood in the ambulance bay, bristling with that nervous energy that always filled her when a hard case came her way. Excitement wasn’t quite the right word for it. It was tension, focus, determination all wrapped into one. There was also an undercurrent of concern and fear, that they might fail. But she had enough experience to keep that buried deep enough that it wouldn’t impact her performance.

 In the six minutes since the red phone had called them, Anna had gathered up her team. Like a well-oiled machine they knew their roles and could have probably run a code in silence, such was their experience together. Carl had grabbed his current shadow, a young F1 junior doctor. She was clearly nervous, her fingers tugging on the hem of her head scarf.

 They all knew the rough details, mid 20’s girl in full cardiac arrest, sudden onset, no trauma. The sirens broke through the air, the ambulance rapidly approaching. Carl gave his orders.

 “Ok guys, let’s run this same as always. Anna, I want you straight onto compressions. Kirstie, take the ambu bag. Jess, IV. Roger, you’ve got the record. Zee, this is your first time, so stick close, listen and try your best to keep track.” Zainab nodded. “Good.  Everyone else, I want her inside as quick as we can, so make sure nothings tangled and get ready to work them legs.”

 There were murmurs of understanding, the approaching sirens beginning to drown them out. The ambulance raced onto the street, forcing the traffic to yield. It swung into the emergency lane that led up to the assemble resus team. They all stepped back, just off the road, as the ambulance approached. The tyres squealed, a hint of burnt rubber filling the space in front of the doors, bringing the ambulance to a stop.

 The team sprang into action. Two of those who had no specific job wrenched open the doors, stepping out of the way. Anna was greeted by the sight of Lucy working the young woman’s chest. A younger man was sat at the head of the gurney, his eyes sparkling with tears. The squeal of the monitor spilled out, and Anna could see the streaking flatline on the monitor. The moment passed, and Anna sprang into action.

 She stepped forward, placing one foot on the back step of the ambulance, then sprang forward. Gripping the sides of the gurney with her hands, she swung her legs down, landing on either side of the girl’s bare legs. She grabbed the monitor off the shelf as Lucy continued her compressions, and pulled it across the lifeless body to clip it onto the gurney’s rail.

 “On 3.” Anna said to Lucy, who nodded, as she shuffled her knees into the right position. “1…2…3” Lucy pushed down once more, then snapped her arms away. In the same moment, Anna brought her interlaced fingers down, pressing down straight away. There had been no break in the rhythm of compressions, Anna’s thrusts taking place of Lucy’s with a slick efficiency.

 The gurney shuddered, Anna compensating automatically, as it was pulled from the back of the ambulance. There was a slight pause as bits of equipment were handed off and Dave made his way round from the cab. Hands grabbed the gurney and began pushing it head-first, towards the doors. Anna kept up the perfect compressions as they travelled towards the Resus Suite.

 Carl was near the girl’s head, opposite Dave. Roger was trailing just behind Dave, clipboard and chart in hand. “What have we got?” Carl asked.

 “Amelia Preston, 25. Sudden V-tach arrest after altercation with a customer. No signs of injury, infection or drug-based influence. Suspected prior cardiac complaint. She was wearing a 3-lead monitor at the time.” He nodded over at George, who held out the monitor. Zainab took it off his hands. “CPR started immediately, and AED was on scene within 90 seconds. Shocked 3 times before becoming asystolic. First round of Epi administered after 10 minutes. Resulted in a shockable rhythm. After 2 shocks we got a sinus brady rhythm, with multifocal PVCs. Deteriorated back into V-fib, then asystole again after 2 shocks. She’s been flat since then. Total downtime of 22 minutes.”

 The team had gotten the gurney inside and were now turning through the extra wide door into Resus 1.

 “Ok. Let’s move her over and get her on our monitors. Let’s run a tox panel, and get someone from cardiology down here, I want the data from that monitor.” The gurney had pulled up next to trauma bed and everyone was waiting on Anna to move Amelia across. Anna checked the team was ready to move, then shifted across both beds, slipping over the side to land on the step that protruded from the trauma bed. The rest of the team had lifted Amelia across and arranged her on their own CPR backboard, allowing Anna to resume compressions as soon as she landed on the step.

 Lucy handed over the blood sample to one of the nurses, Trish, who rushed out of the trauma room towards the lab. Another nurse was over by the phone, calling the cardiology department. Others were quickly connecting the equipment to the monitors, one attached to the bed, with a repeater feed to the TV sized monitor on the wall.

 “Let’s double check everything.” Carl ordered. “I want an echo and let’s confirm that airway.” Anna counted off the compressions as the ultrasound probe was pulled over to the side of the bed.

 “3…2…1…” Anna pumped down Amelia’s chest once more, then pulled back. She scanned the room as Carl held the probe to Amelia’s battered chest. Lucy and Dave were standing in a corner, along with the young man that had accompanied them. He looked physically and emotionally exhausted. She looked down at the lifeless body before her. With a few moments to actually look at the girl, Anna was struck was by how similar she was to their patient. They had the same body shape, were within a couple of inches of each other and both had hair that curled gently in waves, though Anna’s was maybe a shade darker. If they’d been weighed, there would probably be a good difference, given the muscle tone Anna had developed lifting patients and performing life saving efforts. But overall, they looked similar enough that a stranger might comment on them being sisters.

 “No cardiac activity.” Carl commented, gaze locked on the screen of the echo. “But the pericardium is clear.” He handed off the probe and grabbed the stethoscope from around his neck. “Good bilateral air entry. Airway’s fine.” He looked up at Anna. The realisation of the similarity between her and Amelia must have been showing on her face. “You ok?” He asked.

 Anna shock her head quickly. “I’m fine.” She said, motioning for him to get out of the way. As soon as the head of the steth was out of the way she resumed compressions, with a slightly more desperate effort to them.

 Carl shrugged to himself. “High dose of epi, let’s see if we can kick start something.” Jessica acknowledged the order and proceeded to inject the drugs into the central IV, confirming the time with Roger. “Sarah! Anything from cardiology?” He called out to the nurse by the phone.

 “They’re saying at least 15 minutes. They’re all in the cath lab or out for lunch.”

 Carl cursed under his breath. He placed his fingers against Amelia’s neck, feeling the solid compression generated pulse. Then he checked her pupils. “Pupillary response is diminished.” He sighed, pondering his next move. “Ok, let’s get the LUCAS and combo pads on her, and initiate therapeutic hypothermia, I want to keep as much of her brain function intact as possible if we can get her back. She’s definitely a small.”  

 Anna focused on completing her fourth minute of compressions as the rest of team unpacked the specified equipment. Being a nationally recognised centre of excellence in the field of resuscitation, Memorial had been given several grants for research projects aiming to improve patient outcomes. One of those projects was Carl’s pet project. Still a prototype, the Intra-Arrest Temperature Management Vest was a relatively simple idea. The goal was to rapidly induce mild-hypothermia to reduce potential brain and organ damage, without interfering with efforts to resuscitate the patient. In practice, it looked almost like a bulky long winter coat without the sleeves and a few strange gaps.

 Anna watched as the team spread the vest on the bed next to Amelia. They’d practiced the procedure repeatedly, on manakins and each other, but Amelia was only the second patient to be in the right situation for the vest. Kirstie and Sarah took up position on the opposite side of the bed from Amelia, while Jessica come up beside Anna. With Trish still on her way back from the lab, Carl directed Zainab to the head of the bed, while he went to the end. His longer arms allowed him to reach out and grip underneath Amelia’s thighs. Anna waited until everyone had sounded off their readiness before stopping compressions.

“1…2…3… Lift.” Carl told Zainab. Together they lifted the lifeless Amelia a couple of inches clear of the bed. Anna’s arm shot underneath her, grabbing the vest. Next to her Jess was doing the same. They pulled it through, Kirstie and Sarah making sure they didn’t drag it too far, then guided Carl and Zainab in lowering Amelia back down so that she lay with her shoulder blades on the reinforced section of the back of the vest. That was where most of the pressure from the compressions would end up.

 As soon as Amelia was down, Anna went straight back into compressions, keeping the blood flowing while the others finished arranging the vest. Amelia’s chest sank underneath Anna’s hands, her abdomen distending just as it before. The vest offered no interference with the process. As Anna hammered away on her near-doppelganger’s chest, Sarah reached around her hands to remove the shiny orange gel pads, replacing them with the large foam squares of the Quik-Combo electrodes.

 Jess and Kirstie threaded Amelia’s arms through the large holes, then folded the top half of vest over her body, securing it with the Velcro straps. It didn’t interfere with Anna, as one of the large gaps was located right on Amelia’s sternum, providing the perfect gap for Anna’s hands. The pair of nurses then moved further down, wrapping parts of the vest around Amelia’s thighs, another large gap left between her legs, allowing access to her vagina and femoral arteries.

 The small cooler attached to the vest began to hum as it pumped refrigerated water through the tiny tubes in the vest, and within seconds Amelia’s temperature began to drop. Anna continued her professionally brutal compressions as the team then began to unpack the Lucas. Carl was injecting another round of drugs in, as the monitor continued to show the complete lack of electrical activity in Amelia’s heart.

 The backboard of the Lucas was brought over, Anna stopping for a moment as it was slid under Amelia, it was a perfect fit for the reinforced region of the vest. Anna did a few more compressions as the team made sure the Lucas was ready.

 “Ok, step off Anna.” Carl ordered. She complied, stepping completely off the bed, rubbing some feeling back into her arms. She glanced at the clock. 6 minutes and 30 seconds of near continuous compressions. It was a personal best. Though she didn’t feel particularly proud at the moment. It meant that Amelia had now been in cardiac arrest for 29 minutes.

 Anna returned her attention to the patient who look so much like her. The Lucas had been clipped to its backboard, Amelia’s wrists tied to the top. The large puck, fitting perfectly in the gap in the cooling vest, began to force her chest down. At this point, all Anna could do was watch. Watch, and hope.

***

Part 2: https://intubatedangel.tumblr.com/post/183345519857/baristas-bad-heart-part-2

Part 3: https://intubatedangel.tumblr.com/post/183380872877/baristas-bad-heart-part-3

Part 4: https://intubatedangel.tumblr.com/post/183471507287/barristas-bad-heart-part-4

Part 5: https://intubatedangel.tumblr.com/post/183491865107/barristas-bad-heart-part-5

Part 6: https://intubatedangel.tumblr.com/post/183594682567/barristas-bad-heart-part-6

Part 7: https://intubatedangel.tumblr.com/post/183658697742/baristas-bad-heart-part-7

Part 8: https://intubatedangel.tumblr.com/post/183678245687/baristas-bad-heart-part-8

[latetothegreysparty]

New Traditions

Hello, lovely people! Wishing you all a magnificent Thanksgiving! As usual, I’ve decided to write a holiday-themed fic. I hope you all enjoy!

New Traditions

“Dr. Shepherd, you’re needed in the trauma bay.”

Amelia did her best to put on a smile for the nurse who was calling to her down the hall. She was just the messenger; it wasn’t her fault. “Could you please page Dr. Nelson?” Amelia asked. She sincerely hoped she had succeeded in keeping her tone calm and friendly. “I’m not on call today. I just stopped in to check on a couple of my patients, but I’m trying to get out of here to go enjoy the holiday with my family.”

“I understand, and I’m really sorry, Dr. Shepherd, but there was a pile up on the highway, and Dr. Nelson is in the middle of a surgery that is projected to last another 4 hours. They really need a neurosurgeon down there to help triage. Do you think you could spare a bit of time?”

Amelia winced. She wanted to help. She really did. But Owen, Leo, and Betty were all waiting for her at the Thanksgiving dinner at Meredith’s house, and it pained her to think that she would be missing out on the first Thanksgiving dinner she could ever remember that was going to be the way it was supposed to be: a proper turkey dinner with all the fixings shared with the people you love without any anger or drama. She’d never even had this when she was growing up, let alone in her adult life, and she wasn’t about to give it up. On the other hand, the people in the trauma bay had just had their Thanksgiving plans wrecked far more than hers were about to be, and she felt like a total jerk for wanting to walk out on those people so she could eat some turkey and make fun of the quantity of pie Owen would inevitably eat. “Okay,” she conceded. “I’ll head down there, but Nelson is going to need to take any cases that end up being surgical. I can’t bail on my family all day long.”

“Thank you,” the nurse said with a grateful smile. Amelia headed off to the trauma bay without another word.

Immediately upon arriving in the trauma bay, Amelia was pressed into service. “Trauma bay 2, Dr. Shepherd,” called the nurse who was in charge of managing the steady stream of patients and providers. Amelia obediently filed into trauma bay 2 just in time to hear the paramedic handing off the patient.

“32 year-old male. Motor vehicle accident. Restrained driver in a vehicle that was struck from the rear. No other passengers in his vehicle. Blunt injuries to the head and abdomen. GCS is 12. Bilateral large-bore antecubital IVs established in the bus. 50 micrograms of fentanyl and 150 milliliters of normal saline administered in the bus. Airway is stable.” The patient was transferred smoothly to the gurney, and Amelia immediately grabbed her penlight and took her place at the head of the bed to begin her assessment.

The next 45 minutes seemed to fly. She went from room to room, assessing each patient and determining their neurological risks. A few had been sent for head CTs, but thankfully none of them presented with an obvious neurosurgical emergency. She was now walking into her last consult from this pile-up. She was about to step into the room when a familiar face came into view. “Owen, what are you doing here?” she asked. “Where are Betty and Leo?”

Owen stopped and whirled around to face her. “I got called in for the pile-up. They said trauma was slammed and they needed an extra pair of hands. Betty and Leo are still at Mere’s house. Betty said she and Leo would be fine without us, and Mere, Maggie, Alex, and Jo are all still there with them. I’m hoping none of these cases end up being surgical so I can get back there soon.”

“Unless this person needs emergency neurosurgery, I’ll head there right after this one,” Amelia replied. “I’m not even on call, but Nelson was in surgery, so they asked me to come down and help. I told them I’d help assess patients, but if there’s any patient who needs neurosurgery that doesn’t need to be done immediately, I’m passing that off to Nelson.”

Owen nodded. “Shall we get in there and see this guy so we can get back to the pie?” he asked with a small smirk.

She nudged him good-naturedly. “It’s always about the pie with you,” she said already on her way into the room.

Amelia was extremely grateful that Owen was the trauma surgeon on this last case of the day. Though she worked well with nearly everyone in the hospital, there was something to be said for chemistry. They knew each other’s tendencies, and they could work seamlessly around one another, rarely even requiring words to stay out of each other’s way and anticipate each other’s next moves. Thanks to their ability to work efficiently, they managed to finish their assessments within 5 minutes. “Your head seems just fine to me,” Amelia said, smiling reassuringly at the middle-aged man who looked quite anxious.

“So I don’t need brain surgery?” he asked.

“Nope, no brain surgery,” she confirmed.

“Actually, no surgery period,” Owen chimed in. “It looks like you don’t have any injuries that are really serious. We’ll have you taken back to the ER, and they’ll give you any fluids and medications you need. You should be out of here by this evening.”

The patient breathed an audible sigh of relief. “Oh, thank you, doctors. I really appreciate it.”

“It was our pleasure,” Owen replied on both of their behalfs. They each shook hands with him and wished him a happy Thanksgiving before stepping out of the room. As soon as the door shut, Owen steered Amelia off to the side. “Imagine that: things actually worked out in our favor for once. It looks like neither of us have to go to surgery. Would you like a ride back to Mere’s place, or do you want to drive yourself?”

Amelia was about to respond when their conversation was interrupted by a frantic-sounding intern. “Dr. Hunt, we just got another one in trauma bay 1, and the FAST showed free fluid in his abdomen. Can you take him back to the OR with us?”

Owen didn’t even attempt to hide his frustration. “I’m not the trauma surgeon on call today. I just stopped by because I was told trauma was slammed, but I was at dinner with my family. Can the on-call trauma surgeon take this?”

The look on the intern’s face told Owen he wasn’t going to like the answer. “Dr. Baker is already in an ex-lap that looks pretty complicated, and they’re worried that this patient we have might be bleeding briskly. They told me that they really need you to do it.”

Owen turned back to Amelia and winced apologetically. “I’m so sorry about this. Do you mind going back to Mere’s house alone for a little while until I get this patient under control?”

Amelia smiled widely. “We’ve been tag-teaming for months now. This is nothing new. Go do your ex-lap, and we’ll see you in a little while.” She pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek and then turned and walked out of the trauma bay.

She had just gotten changed back into her street clothes when her phone chimed from its place in her purse. A quick glance at the screen told her that Betty was texting her. She swiped absentmindedly at the screen as she began to walk out of the hospital.

I need a meeting.

Amelia was already calling Betty before she even had time to think about it. She didn’t wait for Betty to speak when she answered the call. “What happened?” Amelia blurted out.

“I’m so sorry,” Betty gushed, the panic evident in her voice. “Seriously, I’m really sorry-”

“Betty, calm down,” Amelia said gently, slowly. “Just tell me what happened.”

Amelia could hear the deep breath Betty took before she began to respond. “It’s nothing. It’s just that everybody here is drinking wine and beer and stuff. And now people are starting to get kinda buzzed. I thought I was okay, but then I went back to the kitchen for more veggies, and I wanted so badly to grab the bottle of wine. I was already grabbing a glass before I even had time to think.”

“Did you have a drink?” Amelia asked, her tone calm and measured.

“No,” Betty replied. “I looked down when the glass was in one hand and the bottle was in the other. I panicked, so I set them back down on the counter, ran out the front door, and then I texted you. God, everybody probably thinks I’m a freak. I just ran out of the house like a crazy person. I’m so sorry.”

“Betty, stop,” Amelia said, her tone firm and commanding. “Do not apologize. You did the right thing. Thank you for texting me. I know it’s hard to walk away and ask for help when you get a craving like that. I’m so proud of you. I’m coming to get you right now, and we’ll go to a meeting. Do you think you’re okay to go back inside and grab Leo, or should I call Meredith and have her bring him out to you?”

“No, I think I’m fine. I can get Leo.”

“Please stay on the phone with me while you do,” Amelia requested. “And stay out of the kitchen. Just grab Leo and come straight back out of the house. I’ll be there soon.”

“But what about everyone else?” Betty asked. “Isn’t it rude to just leave like that without saying anything?”

“Don’t worry about that. Everyone will understand. Your health comes first. It always comes first. Go back inside, grab Leo, and wait outside for me. You don’t need to worry about anything else.”

-

When Amelia arrived in Meredith’s driveway, Betty was standing on the porch staring vacantly at Leo’s covered bassinet. Amelia quickly killed the engine and walked up to meet Betty on the porch. She took the bassinet from Betty as she spoke. “Everything’s going to be okay. Just come get in the car.” Betty nodded slowly before following Amelia back to the vehicle.

With practiced hands, Amelia managed to get Leo fastened into his car seat quickly. When she climbed back into the driver’s seat, she found Betty staring out the window with wide eyes. “Hey,” Amelia said softly, grabbing Betty’s left hand. “Thank you for texting me. I know this probably seems like a lot right now, but we’ll get you through this. I am so proud of you for recognizing that you were struggling and asking for help before you had a slip. That is huge progress.” Betty’s smile was small, but it was enough for Amelia.

When they arrived in the parking lot of the small church, Amelia wasn’t surprised to find quite a few cars in the parking lot. Thanksgiving had a tendency to be a rough day, both because of the free-flowing alcohol and the family drama that tended to be prevalent at Thanksgiving dinners. After putting the car in park and shutting off the engine, she turned to face Betty with a smile. “Do you want to grab Leo, or do you want me to?”

“I’ve got him,” Betty said softly, already beginning to get out of the car. Amelia nodded before going to the backseat, getting Leo out of the car, handing him to Betty, and leading the way into the building.

Once they had settled into a couple of chairs with coffee in their hands and Leo on Betty’s lap, Amelia turned to check on Betty. “Are you doing alright? Do you want me to go first?”

Betty nodded gratefully. “If you don’t mind.”

Amelia smiled kindly. “Of course not.” She waited until a few people had shared before speaking up. “I’m Amelia, and I’m an addict,” she began. “Thanksgiving can be so hard. It used to be awful for me. God, I could bore you for the next hour with stories of poor choices I’ve made on Thanksgiving throughout the years. It just feels like the perfect storm. There’s booze everywhere. There’s too many people around to really notice if you make a bad decision. There’s family everywhere. And for me, that is a big problem. Well, it used to be, anyway. My relationship with my family is complicated, and Thanksgiving was always the time when we were all reminded that everyone else is a rockstar, and Amelia still doesn’t have her shit together. They were never trying to be mean. They love me. I know that. But it always seemed to give me that little nudge I needed to have a drink or pop some pills. Or both. This year is different, though. This year, I’m spending the day with people I love and who love me. People who bring out the best in me. So I haven’t had any cravings today, and I am so grateful to those people.” Amelia didn’t turn toward Betty as she reached over and squeezed her knee, silently offering her thanks and support.

The room was silent for a moment before Betty spoke up. “I’m Betty, and I’m an addict. This is my first Thanksgiving in recovery. I didn’t realize how hard it would be. I thought it would be amazing to have dinner with people who care for me and treat me well and don’t judge me. And it was amazing. I feel like this is what Thanksgiving is supposed to be. But then I ruined it. I saw everyone drinking, and I started to get the urge, and I couldn’t control it. I almost slipped, and then I went outside and texted my sponsor.” She threw a glance in Amelia’s direction. “So now we’re here at a meeting instead of having dinner like we should be because I’m too weak to say no by myself.”

After a few more shares and a recitation of the Serenity Prayer, the meeting came to a close. Amelia waited until they were in the car and on the road to speak to Betty. “Betty, I know we normally try not to talk about our shares outside of the meeting, so please stop me if you don’t want to talk right now, but I really want to say this to you.” Betty said nothing, so Amelia went on. “It kills me that you feel bad about what happened. Because this is exactly what is supposed to happen.”

“What, a junkie teenager keeping you from the stuffing and green bean casserole?” Betty bit out sarcastically.

“No,” Amelia argued, ignoring the snarky tone. “Thanksgiving is supposed to be about the people, not about the food. I’d much rather sit in some old, dingy church sharing love, acceptance, and grace with a beautiful young woman who has brought so much richness to my life than sitting around a fancy table eating delicious food, worrying more about what people think of the casserole I made than the people I’m sharing it with. Thank you for texting me. Thank you for trusting me with your struggles. It means a lot. You have given me so much to be thankful for. I couldn’t imagine a better holiday.”

She glanced sideways at Betty, and she could see the emotion setting into her eyes. Luckily, Amelia’s phone rang, giving Betty a reprieve from having to respond to Amelia’s words. A glance at the screen told Amelia it was Owen calling. “What’s up?” she asked into the phone.

“I just finished up with my ex-lap. I’m changing out of my scrubs. Should I meet you back at Meredith’s place?”

“Change of plans,” Amelia replied. “Betty, Leo, and I are on our way home. Meet us there.”

“Okay,” Owen said. His voice sounded a bit confused, but he didn’t ask any questions. “I’ll see you in a little while.”

Owen ended up arriving at home just as Amelia and Betty had begun to rummage through the pantry and refrigerator. “What’s going on?” he asked while picking Leo up out of his bouncy seat.

“We’re planning Thanksgiving dinner,” Amelia said, turning to face him with an amused grin as she pulled a box of macaroni and cheese out of the pantry. “I’m thinking mac and cheese with a side of canned pears. What about you, Betty?”

Betty shut the freezer door. “I found some pizza rolls and fish sticks. And mint chocolate chip ice cream for dessert.”

“Perfect,” Amelia said. “Owen can, you start preheating the oven while I get going on the mac and cheese?”

Owen still looked utterly confused by the situation, but the look on Amelia’s face told him now was not the time to ask questions. “Sure,” he replied slowly before making his way to the oven to begin working on his assigned role.

30 minutes later, Owen, Amelia, and Betty sat around the table, their plates filled with the comfort foods they had found around the kitchen. Leo sat in his high chair between Betty and Owen, happily grabbing after a few pears with his hands. “Turkey is so overrated,” Amelia lamented. “I vote we do pizza rolls and mac and cheese every year. This is awesome.”

“Just as long as Betty cooks the pizza rolls every year,” Owen responded.

Amelia narrowed her eyes as she turned to face Owen. “Excuse me, what is that supposed to mean?”

“It means you burn them every single time you make them.”

“Are you kidding me?!” Amelia asked incredulously. “I slave over a hot oven to make you food when you’re too caught up in your football game to feed yourself, and this is the kind of thanks I get?” She dipped her index finger into her mac and cheese and swiped some of the cheesy sauce down the side of his cheek. “Screw you!” Betty burst out laughing as Owen dipped his finger into his own mac and cheese to retaliate. Leo chose that moment to slam his hands down into the pear juice on the tray of his high chair, and pretty soon everyone had a bit of food on their faces, hands, and clothing.

Once the excitement had died down, Owen and Amelia set to work cleaning up the kitchen while Betty took Leo to the bathroom to clean the pear juice from his face. “Seriously, can we do this again next year?” Owen asked while putting away the baking sheet. “This was really nice.”

“Let’s do this every year,” Amelia agreed, and she couldn’t stop the smile that split her face in half. There was really something to be said for new traditions.

[hanmemyphone]

Bad Ending 2.1

Two requests for very similar concepts so I decided to just throw them together!

Thank you for the requests, hope you enjoy!

(also, I’m sorry for asshole!Jumin in this one D: )

You had known for a while, where he went late at night, the fact that he wasn’t at the office when you called to ask, why he had so many ‘business trips’ - you knew the answer to it all.

He thought otherwise, he thought that he was being discrete, that you suspected nothing but that wasn’t the case. The glimpses you took and the guilt you felt from ‘breaking’ into his phone due to his hopelessness with technology and inability to set a passcode all lead up to your suspicions and worries being confirmed.

Your husband, the love of your life, Han Jumin, was seeing another woman behind your back. At first, you were mad. You wanted to scream, you wanted to curse, you wanted to shout at him but as the hours ticked on with you pacing around the penthouse furiously in wait, your anger began to dissipate, to your surprise.

In the end, you had this feeling which nodded along. 

I knew it all along.

It was like you were telling yourself, ”I told you so!” You always had this hunch, the annoying idea stuck in the back of your head. The fact you found out from his phone frustrated you but at the end of the day, you were oddly accepting of it. Maybe it’s because you knew you couldn’t leave him. That you wouldn’t leave him. After all, you had made this promise with him years ago when you first met.

“I promise me that you’ll never leave my side,” he asked that one day, your hands in his. You replied firmly with, ”I won’t,” and so, you were tied with him for life. You knew the moment you said those words, you wouldn’t be able to go back on them, even if he didn’t remember your promise. Even if he had forgotten, if he left you for another woman, you would try your hardest to keep that promise. You admit you were a fool but you were a fool who was foolishly in love with that man. You were determined to stay quiet, see him off when he left for work, greet him when he came back home. You were going to act normal, just like you always had but one event changed everything.

It was a day off from work, you were sitting at home watching movies and waiting for Jumin to come home- hoping for Jumin to come home. You checked the time over and over, the clock from 10pm. You had dinner on the table, already set. You wanted to talk about your day, what happened at work or what happened in the countless movies you had watched without concentrating but as the second ticked on by, you knew that he wouldn’t be coming back tonight. 

A knock at the door got you excited.

Though as you opened it, it wasn’t the face you expected but in fact, his secretary. “Is something the matter?” Jaehee asked with concern on her face as you shook your head, trying your best to force a smile. “It’s nothing, I just thought it was the delivery I ordered!” you laughed, awkwardly. “But isn’t that food on the table?” Jaehee replied, the concern growing. You quickly stood in front of her in some attempt to block her sight but you knew that it was useless. Instead, you tried to distract her by asking her if she wanted a coffee but on your way to the kitchen, you stopped still and clutched the left side of your chest. You couldn’t move and quickly you fell to your knees, gasping for air and then hit the ground. Your mind was blank and saw the world in your view flicker.

Then turn black.

You woke up later that day, not to see the one you were waiting for but rather Yoosung with worry all over his face.

"Are you alright?" He asked a bit too loudly for what you assumed was a hospital room. Everything was white, the walls, the floor and your bed sheets. The curtains opened to reveal the night sky as you noticed even the moon shone brightly. You quickly noticed the oxygen mask over your mouth and the waiting IV stand next to your bed.

You sighed.

“Isn’t this overkill? I’m sure I just didn’t sleep enough,” you commented softly surprised at your inability to talk while feeling overwhelmed by the sheer amount of people attention and medical attention you were receiving. You were sure that this was somebody overreacting to a simple malnutrition problem or lack of sleep but the look on Jaehee’s face as she walked in with a doctor told you otherwise. You felt your chest suddenly sting as you steadied yourself for not so great news. “Does your family have any history with heart diseases Miss?” the doctor asked, looking straight into your eyes. You nodded and replied that it was quite common on your dad’s side yet you hadn’t experienced any symptoms. “Unfortunately you’ve just experienced a silent heart attack,” the doctor told you, Yoosung’s mood dropping visually as he shrunk in his chair, ”and I’m afraid it’s done some damage to the lower chambers of your heart.” For some reason, you lifted your hand to touch your chest asking if it was serious. “I’m afraid it is.”

“Don’t call Jumin, please Jaehee,” you pleaded to her, seeing her struggle with the phone in her hand, ”Please, I don’t want him to know.” “But after hearing how serious your condition now is, how can I not inform him about the situation?” she answered, visibly battling with herself. “It’s because of how serious it is, that’s why I don’t want him to find out,” you explained as you were now sitting up in your bed, the oxygen mask now off but with the warning to not move a lot,”I’m begging you, consider this my last request.” The word last struck Jaehee and she dropped her arm, her phone gripped lightly in her hand. “Don’t say that noona!” Yoosung commented from next to you, ”I’m sure this won’t be your last!” The young man’s optimism brought a smile to your face but you couldn’t help but know that there wouldn’t be much time to make another dying request. You knew how your body felt more than anybody and you knew that time was running out.

Jumin opened the door to his penthouse with a few clicks on the keypad. He hadn’t been home for a while but didn’t feel guilty at all. He knew that his wife wouldn’t complain, you hadn’t since you got married all those years ago. While he expected to see your face when he opened the door, there was only silence when he threw his suit jacket on the couch. He called out for you and walked over to the room you both shared, only to find it neatly made and no evidence that someone had been here. The home was too still for Jumin’s liking. He walked over to the kitchen, hoping to find a trace of your presence but only noticed the food on the table still wrapped in plastic wrap.

He could only wonder where you went at this hour of the night.

Another day passed without seeing your face. He went to work as usual but made a little effort to be home earlier to see if he could catch you and have dinner together. He didn’t know what he was trying to make up for with all this rushing but he thought that he should at least make it home to enjoy a meal with his wife though when you failed to show up for the consecutive night, he started to suspect something. He sat idly on the couch, brooding over the idea that perhaps you were having an affair behind his back. He tapped his foot and continued to think. Maybe, just maybe, he was beginning to feel a bit guilty for his actions.

Five sleepless nights later he was sent back early from work by Jaehee who assured him that the teams were doing their best to find you and that he was being nothing but a burden at work. His lack of sleep affected everything, his judgement, his ability to communicate and his efficiency. There was no situation where he would be making progress when he was this sleep deprived. He had declined every call from the woman he was spending nights with and just sat at home waiting for the door to open. 

Jumin was breaking down physically and mentally without you by his side. 

He was driven home by Driver Kim who then saw him to the elevator of the apartment complex in fears that Jumin would trip on the way. A surprising thank you was whispered before the elevator closed its doors and sent him up to the uppermost floor. When its doors opened again he took a single step out and noticed a familiar face. He felt his knees wobble as he attempted to keep his composure but seeing that face made him weak.

“Jumin...” you whispered as you stopped still, the suitcase you were pulling behind you stopping as well, ”I didn’t expect to see you here?”

He just stared at you in disbelief. Everything you were saying sounded like air. He knew you were saying something and he knew he needed to say something back but he didn’t know where to start.

Where were you? Are you staying? Why do you have a suitcase? Where are you going?

The questions were darting within his mind but he wasn’t able to say a single word. You were being patient like you always had with him. You could feel that he was conflicted. There was no way Jumin could go this long without saying something and it just prompted you to wait but your mind told you to stop. You had waited enough for this man and you didn’t have the time to wait anymore. Now that he had seen you, there was no way you could escape completely. You needed to break everything off now.

You began to walk again, toward the elevator behind him but he grabbed your arm as you walked by him. “Where do you think you’re doing?” he asked. You heard his demand but when you turned to face him, you saw the desperation in his eyes. “Don’t you think you’ve been gone long enough?” he continued as you felt his grip tighten. You instantly shook him off and used his words against him, ”Don’t you think you’ve been gone too long?” He was taken aback from the way you spoke back to him. Sure you two had your arguments over the years which resulted in snappy remarks shot back and forth but when he heard the irritation in your voice, he was silenced immediately. “You’re not cheating on me are you?” he asked with some scorn in his voice but this made you even angrier. How could he even mention that in front of you? It drove you furious. But you couldn’t snap back as you did before. You just stared at him with sad eyes as the elevator doors opened. You walked inside but held the open button hoping that you would be able his face just that moment longer but he never turned around. “I’m sorry Jumin,” you apologised softly to his back. You let go of the button and saw the doors closing.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t keep our promise.”

He didn’t know what to do. He stood there silently still while the elevator doors closed behind him. This was the first time someone had left him without his consent. He didn’t know if he was furious or just confused. 

Was she cheating on me?

This thought played ping pong in his mind. One side was telling him that there was no way she would do that because she was so loyal but the other side was telling him that is was obvious she left him for another man. “This is unbelievable...” he whispered to himself, slouching on a nearby wall, ”Did she just leave me?” He replayed their last meeting over and over in his head but he couldn’t fathom the thought.

She would be back soon.

The days passed and there was no sign of you. His health had gotten worse. He couldn’t sleep at night without the warmth of someone next to him but he wouldn’t call anyone, even that woman he was spending so many nights with. He simply told her he wasn’t interested anymore.

In fact, he wasn’t interested in anything anymore.

He hadn’t been to work in days. Even Elizabeth couldn’t cure the darkness emanating in that penthouse room. Jumin just spent his days sat on the couch with empty wine bottles gradually erasing the space on the coffee table in front of him. His glass hadn’t been washed in days, nothing had been washed in days.

He was a complete mess.

He was lost without you.

He wasn’t bothered by the fact that you left him anymore, he just wanted you back. He wanted you to return to his side and had waited for you all this time. There was no more motivation to do anything so he just recounted the last moments he had with you. He still remembered the look on your face when you saw him. You looked surprised and confused but when he accused you of cheating, he remembered how your expression instantly changed.

You looked like you wanted to cry.

“Why did she want to cry?” he thought to himself, “She’s the one leaving me!” Your words finally echoed in his head as he tried to remember what promise you were apologising for.

Slamming down his last glass of wine, he got up in a rage. He wondered why you hadn’t returned yet but it didn’t matter anymore. He would venture out to find you and scold you for being unable to keep the promise. But in fact, he wanted to find you so he could apologise for his own inability to keep the promise he so ardently made.

Jumin didn’t know where he was running but he thought that if he ran to places where you two spent your days at your happiest, he would find you.

Eventually, he would find you right?

Places he had in mind were gradually being crossed off his mental list and at some point, he was just running. The night had arrived and the streets were practically empty. He couldn’t care about image anymore, he couldn’t care about time anymore. He just wanted to find you and for that purpose, he was willing to run without purpose.

Jumin ran past a woman with her head tilted downwards and with the sound of his name reaching his ears, he stopped instantly and turned around.

But she had disappeared.

He felt his heart drop and sensed that he had lost something at that moment. He found himself being unable to remember your smile and collapsed onto the ground. He suddenly began trying to wipe away tears, wondering to himself why he was suddenly crying.

Jumin’s phone started to ring over and over so eventually, he picked it up in frustration but when he heard Jaehee’s sobs over the phone somehow his anger dissipated.

Somehow, instantly he understood.

He would never be able to renew that promise ever again.

[artificialqueens]

The Language of Flowers, second half of Chapter 1 (Multi) - Albatross

AN: Alright, AQ and AO3 are finally caught up to each other. I’m pretty much set, as far as ordering the chapters goes, on having the Witney-centric parts labeled as .5 when I post on here (2.5, 3.5, 4.5, etc). The Witney side should start popping up in Chapter 2, Chapter 3 at the latest, because I’m trying to figure out right now where’s the best place to break up what I have written into new chapters vs. different sections. Its probably going to be late next month before I post the next chapter anywhere because I want to get most of the story written and reviewed before I start posting on a regular basis. I’ve made that mistake plenty of times already so I’m finally starting to learn from it. I’ll let you know the posting schedule in the next chapter! And thanks to everyone for the support, it really means a lot, honestly. I’m beyond flattered that you guys take the time to read these stories :)

With the help of the other women, Jinkx quickly became accustomed to the shop and settled into her new job with relative ease. In just a few weeks, both she and Ivy had garnered quite a reputation as being on par with some of the best florists in town and foot traffic for the shop had increased several times over. Their unique arrangements combined with the very reasonable pricing made the store a local hot spot, especially among those who preferred to support ‘family’ businesses rather than chain stores. Pretty soon there was even talk of hiring a third assistant but to date, no serious prospects had emerged. If she had to be honest with herself, Jinkx actually preferred it that way. She liked feeling busy while she worked; the days where the shop was empty and there were no orders to be filled were pretty boring to her.

Plus, and it was entirely selfish; she liked the dynamic that was going on between the four of them. She adored spending time with Ivy as they worked on arrangements together, she loved listening to Sharon and Violet bicker endlessly about the stupidest things, she even looked forward to the times when Violet would fall into 'business mode’ and argue with suppliers for better prices or products…also, quickly becoming her favorite was the few minutes in the morning where it was just her and Sharon chatting in the break room before the shop opened for the day.

The first time Jinkx was officially left in charge of opening the shop, she was quite surprised to see the lights already on in the break room. Part of her had thought that perhaps one of the other women simply forgot to turn it off the previous night and was tempted to leave it at that but curiosity compelled her to walk into the room and investigate. To her astonishment, she found Sharon sitting at the table, mug in one hand and cigarette in the other, dressed yet again in a rather thin camisole and tiny shorts that hugged tightly at every curve. A book laid open in front of her but Jinkx wondered if even a single word was registering with her, if the glazed-over look in her eyes was anything to judge by.

She was almost backing out of the room in embarrassment when Sharon’s voice echoed in her ears, “Gonna grab a mug or just keep staring?”

Meekly, Jinkx shuffled into the room with pink cheeks and poured herself a cup of coffee (black because she could feel Sharon’s eyes on her). As soon as she turned around from the coffee pot, her suspicions of being watched were confirmed and her gaze locked with Sharon’s. The older woman gave a small jerk of her head towards the empty chair across from her and within seconds Jinkx found herself facing the blonde and trying not to let her eyes drop any lower than Sharon’s slightly smeared crimson lips.

The situation felt vaguely reminiscent of the few times she had been called to the principal’s office as a child but like then, she was certain she was not in trouble. Even with that rational line of thought, Jinkx still felt an unusual queasiness in her stomach as she sat opposite from Sharon. Noticing her discomfort, the older woman gave her a calming smile and told her, “Don’t look so scared, I just wanted to check in with you.”

Feeling somewhat at ease, Jinkx answered the polite inquiries, slowly allowing herself to become more relaxed in Sharon’s presence. Before she realized it, their work-related conversation had turned into a personal one albeit in a somewhat limited fashion. They were just beginning to discuss less generic topics when Jinkx chanced a glance down at her phone and found that the shop was due to open in just a few minutes. She excused herself, downing the last of her lukewarm coffee in a quick gulp, and dashed out to finish preparing the shop for the first wave of customers.

Slowly but surely, the early morning conversations became a welcome part of Jinkx’s routine. Whenever she found her name listed under the rotation for the first shift, Jinkx felt a little jolt of anticipation for another chance to chat with her boss. That wasn’t to say they didn’t speak during their afternoon or night shifts, it was just that those conversations tended to be more subdued. It was the peace and solitude as they conversed over their coffee that Jinkx felt she really got to know Sharon, blunt behavior aside. Ivy and Violet would gladly fill the afternoon or evening with their own chatter, but Jinkx felt the morning ought to be reserved for Sharon alone.

In the beginning though, Jinkx was admittedly a bit suspicious of the behavior. A few weeks after their coffee breaks had become a regular thing, paranoia creeped at the edges of Jinkx’s mind and she decided to broach the topic with Ivy. She longed to know if Sharon was just being courteous or if she actually was trying to be friendly in her own brusque way.

“Hey Ives,” the redhead began one day as they worked in the alcove on the day’s orders, “When you open the shop in the morning…do you ever see Sharon in the break room?”

“Mm…sometimes,” Ivy said distractedly as she carefully positioned the more delicate flowers of her bouquet amongst the filler greenery.

“Does she…do anything while she’s in there?” Jinkx asked, trying to sound casual as she cut the stems for her newest project.

Tying the ribbon around her vase, Ivy replied, “Usually she’s just parked in front of the coffee pot…I think I’ve seen her smoking at the table once or twice. Why?”

Flustered, Jinkx covered for herself by saying, “I was just wondering…I’ve seen her back there when I open…Does she ever talk to you?”

Ivy’s head immediately shot up at the question and she took a moment to study Jinkx’s expression. Coming to the entirely wrong conclusion, Ivy said sympathetically, “Oh, Jinkx, it’s nothing personal! She’s just not much of a talker in the morning. Neither is Violet really. Those two are practically zombies whenever they’re up that early. I don’t think they really wake up until closer to lunch, to be honest.”

Blushing, Jinkx muttered, “That’s not really-I mean…Thanks, Ivy.”

“Try talking to her in the afternoons,” Ivy put in helpfully, “I’m sure she’ll be happy to chat then. And really, don’t worry about it; she likes you, so does Violet…and me of course!” she added with a bright smile.

All Jinkx could do was nod and hope her face wasn’t as red as it felt. She had no idea how to explain to Ivy that she had the completely wrong idea as to what Sharon was like with her in the mornings; a zombie, yes, but more than willing to chat. As that realization dawned on her, it made those moments she shared with her boss feel just a little more special. Particularly as Sharon was occasionally willing to lower her guard and reveal some of the anxieties she has about running the shop. Most of it was pretty normal; will business keep up, do they have enough security at night, and the most recent cause of concern; should they hire another assistant? Sharon was worried about the financial aspects of adding another florist and the more interpersonal reasons; would lightning strike a third time and provide someone that is both talented and fits in with the shop?

Either luckily or unluckily, Sharon didn’t have to ponder the situation for very long before Violet took a hand yet again and hired their third and final addition to the shop’s family; a cute little blonde that sounded as though she were fresh off the boat.

Jinkx had just walked through the front door to begin her afternoon shift when she heard Sharon’s sarcastic voice resonating from behind the counter, “Let me guess, this one’s name is Daisy or Lily or some shit?”

Jinkx could practically hear the smirk through Violet’s tone as she replied, “Nope…it’s Courtney.”

“Right,” Sharon said un-amused, “And what’s her last name then?”

“'Act’,” the blonde replied politely. Even though it was just one word, her accent was quite apparent and it seemed to catch both Jinkx and Sharon by surprise.

Jinkx did her best to remain unobtrusive as the two owners hashed things out but every so often she found her eyes wandering back to the Aussie as she set to work on the day’s orders. From the brief glances she stole towards the front of the shop, she quite surprised by how adorable the young woman was. It was rather obvious by now that she had not expected to be interviewed that day (or perhaps interrogated is more appropriate) but she still looked very well put together. Her entire look was not as meticulously crafted as Violet’s but the two could easily evaluated on the same scale with little distinction.

Today Violet was wearing a very unique, if somewhat vintage, dress that undoubtedly would turn heads when she left the shop while Courtney had on a more casual, off-the-shoulder cream sweater and dark jeans. Violet was in her usual plain stilettos that gave her at least an extra 4 inches while Courtney made due with a pair of strappy kitten heels that could easily be mistaken for sandals. Her hair was left in loose curls that fell to her mid back while Violet’s was carefully styled and pinned up to keep from brushing against her neck as she worked. The final difference between the two was their choice in make up. Courtney clearly favored a more natural look, almost as if she weren’t wearing any at all, whereas Violet sharply contrasted with her very exact, very precise style using bolder colors perfectly contoured to suit her face. In all the two looked like complete opposites, yet standing together they seemed to complement each other very well.

Even with the distance she kept from the three, Jinkx could see that Courtney was feeling quite intimidated by the older woman. Still, she was trying her best to make a good first impression and kept her bright smile firmly in place as Sharon glanced suspiciously between her and Violet. Jinkx was fully expecting the owners to escort the young blonde to the work benches for the same type of trial run she and Ivy had been given but to her utter shock, Sharon simply gave a defeated sigh and turned around to begin printing off another copy of the new employee forms. Her jaw actually dropped slightly as Sharon handed over the papers without a fight and began instructing the Aussie where to sign and initial. Jinkx couldn’t even bring herself to pretend to work as she watched the older blonde glaring at her business partner in silence as Courtney focused on completing the paperwork as quickly as possible.

As soon as she was done, both she and Violet left the shop rather quickly with Violet pausing to send a pointedly smug smirk towards Sharon. The second the door had shut, the older woman bolted away from the counter and called out to Jinkx to watch the shop for a few minutes while she took a smoke break. She nodded her head in confirmation but she doubted Sharon saw it as she sped across the shop’s floor towards the back. Jinkx longed to follow after her to try and talk or calm her down, her heart actually ached to do so, but her body remained firmly in place. She had never seen anyone so obviously seething before; it was almost a wonder that she had kept her voice and expression as calm as she did while Violet and Courtney were present.

Within a few seconds of Sharon entering the back room, Ivy came bursting through the door as though she were being pursued by an unspeakable monster. Spotting Jinkx at the work tables, she immediately made her way over to find out what the hell had happened in the 10 short minutes she had been back there taking a break. “We have a new assistant,” Jinkx replied ominously.

[this-brownie]

3.31.20

it feels therapeutic to write things out and be able to put my thoughts into words that I can visualize. I, sadly, had to stop writing in my old blog because Tumblr locked me out of it because I no longer had access to that Email…fucking yahoo and 2007 emails…anyway. I want to do a continuation from that blog so I will be making quite some posts about my past, starting from around April 2016.

https://somebrownie.tumblr.com

lets begin with a little background. so dad died on April 16 2017, but he had been sick for years before that. it first started off with slurred speech almost like he was drunk or something, which was when I was in tenth grade, and then progressed to him not being able to speak at all, resorting to writing on paper to communicate with us, not being able to eat solid foods anymore, having to get a tube attached onto his throat, bringing in medical equipment that was situated on his bed while he slept, and eventually having to move to a nursing home completely where he spent his final two years. I am not going to discuss what a domineering and prideful man he was, what a workaholic he was, how he tried to show us his love and affection through money and materialism, or how his death impacted me. those can be discussed at a later time. 

one positive result that came from this situation is that I had a little more freedom in pursuing the life I wanted. my mom always looked to him for guidance on every decision— I knew I wouldn't be able to marry the person who I loved because he would never allow it. Levi is a jew after all and as a muslim im supposed to hate him, of course. after he died, my mom became severely lost— she had never been completely independent. however, she still had her reservations when I told her who I wanted to marry. I had to be extremely forward, logical, and manipulative about it because old habits and a lifetime of molded mentality don't wash away that easily. a few factors helped me achieve my goal: I was in the process of graduating and had no means to get a job in my field because I didnt have the legal papers to reside in this country. by getting married, I would obtain a green card which would allow me to make money and make use of my degree. also, there was less pressure to uphold an image for our distant family and relatives— people had naturally started distancing themselves the sicker my dad became. less wealth flowed into our house meaning less parties to throw, less opportunities to give gifts to others, and less reasons to cook fancy food. this all contributed to people checking up less on my mom— all these people who she hold so dearly, couldn't give less of a fuck when they had nothing to benefit them. I asked her, are these the people youre trying to impress? is this the reason you want to hold me back? because it won't look good to THEM even tho they don't help us  at all? even while we are struggling? the last sneaky tactic I pulled was telling her that there are several friends who are willing to marry me, but at a cost. only one person who is willing to do it without a charge (good old Levi haha). and to my utter shock, she slowly agreed. I wasn't sure if she completely understood so I confirmed…”you know that means I have to live with him right…in case the lawyers check?” she said she understood and was okay with it. sweet success. that was June 2018.. in a couple months we will have been married for two years now.

Levi and I have been seeing each other since 2011. so our marriage was….a long time coming to say the least. luckily I had the chance to meet almost all of his immediate family members before we fully committed. the first people I met were his aunt candy and uncle chuck way back in 2013 for thanksgiving, and then again for Levis graduation ceremony in 2014. I've gone over for thanksgiving and passover dinners throughout the years as well. I met Levis parents for the first time in 2015 (I think) in boston and I was deathly nervous. his dad used to teach Jewish studies at both Harvard and yale—he's retired but still gets invited to conferences to gives speeches around the world. his mom opened a free after school program to teach poor children who don't have access to educational resources. so ofc I was so nervous I could hardly breathe. I wore a cute, not too revealing, dress and minimal makeup. thankfully, they steered the conversation and actually didnt interrogate me too much. we mostly just told stories which was nice. I remember one conversation where I talked about my degree in linguistics, my affinity for learning and understanding how languages work, and seamlessly adding an anecdote from a tv show that Levi and I watched from just the night before. the person on tv, I think he may have been European, wasn't able to pronounce the word “skewer” which I found very interesting because there are many sounds our tongues can't produce because we are not used to moving them in that certain way. something about the brain and tongue not being able to make the connection between the ways a foreign word is spelled and the different areas it has intonations. like, native Spanish speakers would have a difficult time saying an English word that starts with ‘sp’ like “special” or ‘sk’ in “school” because in their language the letter s isn't followed by another consonant; the sound of the letter ‘e’ always precedes the ‘s’ (like if you were to literally sound out the letter ‘s’)-- so a speaker would pronounce it as “especial”. anyway! I told his parents this tidbit that I found intriguing and added that Levi isn't able to pronounce the sound ‘gh’ but his dad was able to make all those sounds perfectly! which impressed me and put a smile on my face. his mom, who is French, was practicing the different sounds herself (not properly) and his dad just makes eye contact with me, rolls his eyes in a goofy way aimed at his wife, which cracked me up because here is this sweet woman trying her best and her silly husband secretly, but lovingly, making fun of her. it touched me because it felt so tender and genuine, when I had never really seen something like that exchanged in between my own parents.

I met his younger sister and middle brother, but only after we got married. his sister alissa is a such a sweet, quiet, docile woman who really looks up to and adores Levi. she used to stay near us while she studied law at nyu. his brother David is animated, quirky yet can be very serious, and is very kind as well. I probably didnt leave a good first impression because the three of us had been walking to a restaurant and this HUGE man and his huge ass fucking dog purposely bumped into me, in order to get by me. I don't think Ive ever gotten that angry at a stranger. I was actually in pain at how hard he smacked into me. I started cursing and Levi was shocked that I was being so loud/violent especially in front of his family member. I just said “did you see his fucking size? did he really need half the block just ti get past me?” in my head im thinking, its because im a small woman that he knows he can get away with it. and then Levi finally realized the gravity of the situation and said “should I go talk to him?” but the man had already walked away at this point. I calmed down at that point thinking, yes im gonna let my tiny husband fight this massive douche bag. I apologized to david and we just continued on.

I never got a chance to meet levi’s eldest brother, wife and youngest kids until I visited Israel (different post!) but I did meet hilly, their oldest daughter when she visited nyc with Levis parents. she's sweet, a bit of a rebel, maybe even hotheaded and insecure like the way I was when I was a teen. I enjoyed spending time with her and gifted her a bunch of lipsticks/glosses and a mascara from Sephora when we all had to say goodbye. I think she felt comfortable that I was younger because she opened up to me about her boyfriend, and told me to keep it a secret. I knew she liked me too because once Levi and I finally got married, she told him that she knew we were going to get married as soon as she met me.

even though I had a lot of luxuries as a child, I never truly experienced unconditional love without trauma or negativity. others may have it worse, but I had what I had. I've dealt with it and come away from it as a better person thanks to Levi. I feel happy to call them my family now, and that they accept me without hesitation despite me being muslim, or much younger. I still feel shy to talk to them on the WhatsApp group chat but im working on it! 

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

warning, the following has mainly snarky (and possibly furious) opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.

-

Alright, on to part three, where Phoenix’s big fat mouth gets Apollo and Athena into deep doodoo.

-

QUICK CHILDREN, INTO THE MANHOLE!

-

SDUFGDGSF YOU CAN ‘MOVE’ WHILE YOURE BEING CHASED 

way to ruin the moooooood XD

-

well athena if its any consolation, smelling like a rotten egg will probably delight sadmad.

y’know. cause youre a putrid egg yolk.

-

“Once a rebel, always a rebel!”

apollo was never a rebel

you sent him back to America before he could do any rebelling.

>OH MY SNARK IS CONFIRMED BY APOLLO

-

oh everyone’s met up now

-

“It was like watching a pair of ostriches bury their heads in the sand”

the FUCK does that mean, Phoenix?!???

-

“dubious hovel”

-

whats wrong with athena? i thought she was huddling up in the corner because she saw something unnerving, then maybe because of all the sudden people there–– but it’s implying she’s disgusted by the shitty state of the place?

what, is Athena a germaphobe now??

-

“He said he hopes you’ll come back and take over this office someday.”

“M-me?”

“Those were his words! He might have been half-joking though.”

I’m not sure which I’m more offended by; the fact that Dhurke still assumed Apollo would make a shit lawyer, or the fact that Apollo does indeed take over. Spoilers. Haha.

-

“must’ve been because of you, dhurke!”

no it was because of Phoenix Wright because he was a cool guy, once upon a time. also because, unlike every other lawyer in the gotdamn series, Apollo just really friggin loves the law. He thinks lawyers are legit cool and he wanted to be one because he just happened to have a passion for litigating. He’s not a prop in your stupid story, he’s his own interesting person.

-

“Dhurke was never a hands-on kinda dad...”

you can motherfucking say that again, vore machine.

“...but not a day went by that he wasn’t thinking of ya. That much I’m sure of.”

yeah he sure was

thinking of the favours he could one day ask of him.

“Doesn’t get more paternal than that!”

Athena, you don't even have a dad. Your opinion on the subject is completely worthless. 

“(Dhurke... And to think, I really did spend my days trying to forget you...)”

god apollo you don’t deserve this. you deserve trucy and klavier and thalassa (being an actual mom for once) HELL you deserve your ACTUAL, REAL DAD.

-

“The victim’s passport and any pictures of him were burned up in the fire. Without knowing his real name, no divination seance could be performed.” 

So you’re telling me Jove brought every single glossy of himself into that blaze? And after the fire, nobody bothered checking the dental records on the corpse/asking where that neato musician from the other night went?

Once again, DDSOJ police, at their best. If there wasn’t a coverup involved, I’m gonna be pissed.

-

( My real dad... I was never really interested in learning about him. )

While this is a totally understandable and natural reaction... I really wish–– Actually, no; it’s best Apollo never learned that he once had a father who actually gave a fuck about him. That’d probably break his heart.

-

“As the son of the terrorist Dhurke, Nahyuta was expelled from the royal family.”

i.... why did Dhurke keep him in Koooraheen, anyway? He really couldn’t have sent him to a happier life in America with his half brother?

-

huh i think that face-palm is a new expression for Vore Machine. he almost looks reasonable.

-

“As his son, Yuty no doubt got the cold shoulder at every turn.”

amazing. not only was Apollo abandoned in America in some shit orphanage with zero contact from anything he knew as family, but Sadmad was forced to stay behind in a country that hated his guts. The perfect situation for both boys!!! No wonder they’re both so fucking grouchy all the time! Dhurke, you parental genius!

-

“Dhurke’s the kinda guy who can become fast friends with just about anyone!”

guess that explains the fandom popularity 

-

“Lol come over n play some jams bro”

“Ok dawg is it chill if i bring my kid my wifes uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

“Yeah its cool I'm great with kids”

“tight”

-

“It’s like Dhurke’s done nothing but save me all my life” yeah... from messes he made.

-

“Jangly Justice”

god. i want to root for Jove but like. He looks like a tool, he sounds like a tool, his stage name is the tooliest thing ive ever heard... 

-

originally this section was me ranting about how Thalassa would never have just ‘stopped looking for Apollo’ when she heard that Jove perished in the flames, since Apollo’s corpse was never found and the rebels were out looking for her to give him to her– but instead I’m just gonna leave you with ‘that excuse is mad weak and the writers need to try harder.’

-

“You should try on the jacket, Apollo!”

“Yeah, yeah!”

Look, I can excuse Athena, because she doesn’t know. But Datz knows its mold infested and disgusting. And he just finished talking about APollo’s tragic past. What the everloving fuck is up with this sicko?!

Also Athena, you can’t laugh at him wearing an eyepatch when he just got done wearing one all last year. 

-

“I’d recognize those horns anywhere!”

“Is that really the only way anyone recognizes me?”

cue Phoenix harrumphing from the corner and brushing his spikes

-

yknow maybe ive mentioned this before but why /hasn’t/ the queen found the safe house? It’s Dhurke’s old law office; that’d be like, the first place I’d check. Its like wondering if Dumbledore’s Army is based in Hogwarts.

I mean I guess you could say the Queen assumes theyre not stupid enough to hide in their old main haunt but... they’re stupid. they’re really, really stupid. it’s been proven like 800 times.

-

so we just had a ladder convo about lizards?

also what do you mean geckos like to live in houses? i thought they just climbed around outside them. aLSO WHY ARE THEY EATING THEM 

... I appreciate that it ended in a Bugs Bunny Switcharoo though.

...And Phoenix ends it with “theyre just a plain old lizard”

I guess Phoenix doesn’t know flowers or lizards. 

-

i really don’t know why none of the revolutionaries think sadmad’s playing the long con. they’ve all just completely given up on him. what if he was pulling a snape??? they talk about trust and shit and yet none of them trust their own leader’s son? shameful.

-

“It seems like Gar’an has some serious leverage over him”

okay, they suspect he’s being controlled with some kind of blackmail... and yet do nothing to help him? they’re dumb enough to risk their lives doing something like that, but not compassionate or caring enough?? to their leader’s son???? what the fuck??????

-

aww i missed Beh’leeb. I hope she and her (born/ unborn? cannot tell if she’s pregnant or not) kid are doing ok.

-

“So she’s trying to help the revolution along... in her own special way!”

that sounds enormously patronizing phoenix, shut up. she’s pregnant and she has to deal with fucks like Datz running around blowing off firecrackers at government officials.

-

...youre giving the orb to datz.

ill eat my hat if nothing happens to it.

-

“We’ll attract undue attention if we go in too large a group”

oh also because youre dressed like baby’s first paint set but

-

“AAAH!!”

“Do you know something about this?” “Nope! Just felt like shouting is all.”

yes, this is definitely the guy who should hold onto the orb for you. also i presented the attorneys badge. guess he has nothing to say about apollo’s proof of profession, eh?

-

“Yeah... You’d think Nahyuta might’ve cut his old man some slack, but no.” Dhurke you thick son of a bitch

-

wow. one single flashback occurrence where Dhurke wasn’t a dick. Well, 1/1000 ain’t too shabby...

-

“What? You came to visit me and you didn’t even bring me a present?”

What, like your plate of ‘my son is NOT a failure” sushi, Dhurke ?

-

“But I’m not a rebel.”

“Don’t be ridiculous– You’re a member of the defiant dragons simply by being my son.”

HE’S NOT YOUR SON YOU FUCK

-

If you present him your attorneys badge he jokes about dying happy and apollo makes it explicit that he means via execution 

dhurke. that means apollo would die too. stop fucking joking about him dying you prickwad.

-

Apollo: Hey Dhurke know anything about this necklace

Dhurke: OOOAAHHH!!! OHHH!! AHHH!!!!

Apollo: So thats a... 

Dhurke: Hahahahah its a no son give it here

Apollo: Yeah ok i see nothing suspicious about that at all and i sure hope the secret behind it wasn’t important to this case or anything..........

-

me: jeez i hope that stupid necklace was the last thing we had to present

phoenix, appearance from god knows where: hey maybe ask about the hostage

me: bless you baby. also i forgot you were here

-

Phoenix: Sounds like the minister has someone you really care about, cause you totally obeyed everything he did.

i know what youre trying to excuse here SOJ staff but no, straight up lifting right out of JFA will never be ok.

-

“Is there a new lady in your life?” “WHAT?! DONT BE RIDICULOUS SON!”

I’m gay now! Hahaha. But seriously. Nobody wants to date Dhurke.

-

“Amara was the love of my life, but she’s gone now, and there will never be another.”

cue Dhurtz shippers furiously jamming their fingers in their ears and whistling 

- 

wh

what the 

fuck is happening 

to his aRM

-

“You tensed up” HIS BROKEN ARM STARTED VEINING SO HARD THAT IT SHOWED RIGHT THROUGH LIKE 2 LAYERS OF CLOTH

THATS SOME KRISTOPH DEVIL HAND SHIT RIGHT THERE

JESUS CHRI

oh there’s something hidden in there THANK GOD THAT SCAREDTHE FUCK OUTTA ME

-

“Oh I see– so youre hiding a woman’s photo up your sleeve”

oh yeah, a 3D photo. that has bumpy bits. absolutely apollo.

“You don’t need to keep secrets like that from me– You’re an eligible bachelor now. But you’ll... introduce her to me at some point, right?”

this has that creepy ‘parent insists you have a crush on that one kid’ conversation vibe to it, especially since it’s not like Apollo ever had an attachment to Amara to make him see her as a mother; she was ‘dead’ before he could even walk.

-

“Mon dieu! Are you into younger women, Dhurke?!”

Athena,,,,,,,, athena,,,, Apollo,,,,, he’s 

it’s 

oh never mind.

-

“Heh heh. Dhurke, you old dog, you. You got yourself a younger lover.”

ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW WHAT, NO, NOT NEVER MIND. YOU HAVE A PHOTO OF AMARA. YOU KNOW WHAT AMARA LOOKS LIKE. YOU KNOW HOW TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PAST AND PRESENT DHURKE BECAUSE THERES NO WAY HE COULD JUST RANDOMLY CUT HIS HAIR AND THEN HAVE IT GROW BACK THAT FAST.

I KNOW YOU THINK SHE’S DEAD BUT AT LEAST FUCKING SAY YOU THINK IT’S HER TWIN SISTER YOU UTTER UTTER NUMBSKULLS

“This is Amara before she died. If you look closer, you’ll see that I was younger, too.”

“Hey. You’re right.”

“Aww, that’s no fun.”

MY ULCERS ARE NO FUN BUT GUESS WHAT NEITHER IS LIFE

-

“Wait a second... Haven’t we seen this woman before?”

DAAAUUUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHH

GOOD FUCKING BALLS PLEASE PLEASE LET THEM BE TROLLING DEAR GOD AAHGGDFKAFAGF

-

i really love that photo though. everything about it is generally just really nice.

-

wait hang on. they. they just. they kept her around? after her fake assassination? they just–– WHERE YOU COULD GET A PHOTO OF HER?!

EXPLAIN–– THERE’D BETTER BE A GOOD EXPLAIN

-

“She was confined within the grounds, but she was fit as a fiddle.”

Ga’ran. Ga’ran. Ga’ran. You stupid, stupid, stupid bitch.

-

“She was being held under virtual house arrest, so I freed her, and we made a run for it.”

“Of course, we didn’t just proclaim it to the people so that they’d realize Ga’ran was a dirty bitch; that would have been way too easy hahaha.”

Ohhh I see. They didn’t know Ga’ran was the one who did it. Except Ga’ran was the one who kept her under house arrest and faked her death so... It’s pretty obviously her? Amara would know that by putting 2 and 2 together? But no... Apparently Amara was suspicious enough to suspect Dhurke of being the arsonist like Ga’ran said, but brave enough to ‘accompany him so she could ascertain the truth for herself.’

hey remember when i said brave. i meant stupid. she was stupid enough to go with someone she thought might have tried to kill her, completely unsupervised. though i guess you'd have to be that dumb to actually fall in love with Dhurke in the first place.

AH, and she was immediately recaptured. Because Dhurke sucks. 

Waaaaait wait wait. How long and when did he ‘rescue’ her? The incident was 23 years ago, but Rayfa is 14– and Amara would need the usual 9 months to gestate– plus, the room she’s holding Rayfa in has the Defiant Dragons handbook in there, so it’s probably someplace of Dhurke’s–– 

Meaning there was a nine year gap but they still didn’t show her to the general public to depose gar– AGHHH. ITS ALL TERRIBLE!!!

-

“Apollo. We need to grill the queen about Amara when we have the chance.”

Hobo Nick’s ghost: Hey uhh me, that might get you uhhhhh murdered i thought we got over that after von karma tasered the shit out of u––

SOJ Nick: DOOOOHHOOOHOO I LIKE SOLVING MYSTERIESSS

-

Apollo: hey maybe the baby Amara’s holding is me. 

Athena: Nah it’s too cute to be you.

Apollo: ....i just want to have proof that I’ve known the loving touch of a mother at least ONCE ATHENA OKAY???

-

“Hm? Oh... well, either way, it’s not you, son.”

yeah fuck you apollo the Sadmahdis only love their REAL children

also its Rayfa. it was in the safe next to Rafya’s letter; Rayfa basically identified it as herself when she saw it, it’s Rayfa.

Apollo: wow youre sure acting vague and suspicious about this; guess i’ll just accept it for what it is.

-

Dhurke: [tells apollo’s he's going to die and leave him fatherless again]

Apollo: [immediately assumes its another of Dhurke’s jokes because Dhurke’s jokes are horrible and always at Apollo’s expense]

-

phoenix: ...are you sick?

NICK

OH MY GOD 

i shriek laughed 

-

Apollo: [clearly emotionally distraught] 

Dhurke: [continues to dance around the issue, thus prolonging Apollo’s suffering]

-

(Why is this happening now? Just when I was finally starting to feel like you really are my...)

HE DOESN’T DESERVE YOU, APOLLO

GET OUTTA THERE

-

So far Apollo hasn't said “i’m gonna do x and x and x, or die trying!” and honestly i know it’s a bit on the nose but it’s more true for this situation than any other ones it’s usually said in.

-

Dhurke: I’ve got a big secret

Apollo: You’ve been hiding something *ELSE* from me?

Dhurke: I’m afraid I can’t tell you what it is. I’d be betraying a certain someone if I did.

WHY DID HE EVEN BRING IT UP THEN!? WHY IS DHURKE JUST THE FUCKING WORST?!!!

-

“You’ll discover a truth that is hard to accept. But I know you. And I know you can handle the truth, no matter what it turns out to be.”

After all, you’re super great at accepting all the misfortune my existence has heaped upon you! Hahaha!!!

-

“Apollo... Are you okay?”

“...I’m fine.”

they ask you how you are, and you just have to say that you’re fine, when you’re not really fine, but you just can’t get into it b

-

h e r e   c o m e   t h e   r e b e l s

-

and once again you have to manually move there. 

-

action bomb over here from Vore Machine 

also beh’leeb sweety youre doing amazing

-

“Dhurke belongs to the people!! Give him back!!!”

he what now

-

(sigh)

..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................hi.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................sadmad...............................................................................................................................................................................

-

“They’ll be arrested? Just for protesting?!”

Apollo... you live in the real world, r–– oh well technically he doesn't hm

that point’s moot

-

“They are aiding and abetting a criminal by seeking his release”

uh pretty sure that’s BS yut

-

“Her Eminence, Queen Ga’ran, has ordered they be arrested and judged en-masse”

ok im fucking 

im 

I'm wheezing so bad not ONLY do we have to save a revolution and Dhurke the rebel leader, but we are now about to defend most of the population of an entire country at once. Stakes RAISED bro

-

good fucking lord apollo stop being all “weren’t you a defiant dragon once?!wehh!!”

even Phoenix, with his Edgeworth obsession, didn’t really question it when Edgeworth was being his shithead prosecutor self.

-

Nahyuta: Sigh. Guess I can’t escape you. I mean I could use my magic beads to tie you up and then prance off but i have a plot to advance.

-

“Enough with the zen monk act, Nahyuta– Tell me how you really feel!”

Damnit, Sadmad, it’s not like we have someone who can read emotions by listening to-– oh yeah.

-

“She’s being held in secret where nobody is allowed to see her.”

second time’s the charm!

-

Apollo, simply bringing up the reason he’s doing what he’s doing won’t get him to stop. Remember the Phoenix and Maya situation? Until you can guarantee her safety, Sadmad’s just going to keep steam rolling along.

-

OH FINALLY 

ok athena dish the dirt

- 

alright, here we go, folks. time for Nick to get all their asses killed. i mean just listen to that ominous music :/

-

i love her laugh sprite. 

“a lawyer AND  a comedian, HOW DROLL”

the royal guards weird me out a bit though. its those masks. I'm getting high lady gaga gives 

lady gagaran

-

Apollo: better give her evidence to burn–– i mean, jog her memory with some evidence.

Ghost of hobo nick: future me!! stop this!! don’t you remember what always used to happen?!

SOJ Phoenix: DOOOHOOOHOOO WE GOT HER NOW, APOLLO! 

-

...........that worked

....no it didn’t. just spring you damn trap already, gagaran.

-

Apollo: Hm better not tell the people, that could stir up the revolution and actually make it happen. Especially since there might be REAL terrorists hiding out there, just waiting until someone goes, “Hey, that dead queen isn’t really dead!!”

-

lol

something went wrong?? no way

-

“Eeeek! Apollo! Don’t strip here!!!”

why is athena such a ditz in this case???

-

I HEARD A BELT 

-

wow. apollo’s ass canonically bared in AA6

klavier gavin cries a million miles away

-

“HE WASN’T HIDING THE BULKY ASS ORB IN HIS CLOTHING, YOUR EMINENCE”

“damn i really thought he was hiding it in his skintight pants and vest. also ignore the other two, they couldn’t possibly have it.”

-

oh lord pls don’t hurt rayfa

-

“Your mind has been poisoned by the barbed one.”

“It was an honour and pleasure, your eminence”

phoenix i know that was highly badass and all but youre literally sitting pretty to be executed 

-

“”””discipline””””

-

“Well, Apollo, let’s head back to the safe house for now.” 

yes, just in case any spies follow us! so that the queen can get her hands on the orb that much fast!!

-

oh hi edgeworht, youre in this game

-

WOO YOU TELL’EM EDGEY

DOWN WITH PLUMED PUNISHER!! DOWN WITH PLUMED PUNISHER!! DOWN WITH PLUMED PUNISHER!!

-

“Moving along to things that actually matter...”

it’s true, but he shouldn’t say it

-

“Yeah, it’s like the more we learn about this case, the less we understand.”

just like me and this game’s writing process

-

“A trial without evidence...”

there’s evidence, you wankers, what do you think that photo of amara, the old case files and the necklace are????

-

“Athena, you’re too young and extra to die. Sit this trial out so we can save on sprite space.”

“Gotcha, chief.”

-

“Plus, there’s prosecutor Blackquill to think of. he said he’d use me for sword practice if he put you in harms way.”

Yeah, if Athena dies, who’ll his new punching bag be??? don’t think i haven’t forgotten story teller. i will not forget. i will not forgive.

-

“Remember; the worst of times are when lawyers have to force their biggest smiles.”

ugh, finally it’s used semi right. 

-

And so, we come to the end of another frustrating chapter. It’s finally time to move on to the final trial. I’m actually kind of curious to find out how everything went down– though something tells me my suffering won’t end when i do. 

Welp, friends –  till next time. The final hurdle is at hand. Or at least, part one of it.

[laonii]

What In The World is Going On With Lahn - A Recap

So, I know over the last year, I’ve made many friends, and shared my story, but some I don’t end up seeing much anymore. Or there might be people wondering about my sporadic posting Tumblr. Anyways, now I’m (hopefully) coming towards the end of it, I’ll just put down the whole story for everyone. For people I haven’t seen in a while to catch up, and for people just straight confused to know. 

If you’ve got any questions for me, feel free to shoot me a message, I’ll turn on anon too.

It’s going under a Read More cause it’ll be long with pictures but, tl;dr: Lahn’s got cancer, 9 months of chemo, 1 month of radio, and a bone marrow transplant later, I hope I’ve won.

So, back in May of 2016, at the ripe old age of 21, I was preparing for my mid-year exams. I’m currently studying a Bachelor of Laboratory Medicine, and I had practical microbiology and immunology exams to prepare for, and theory on those two -and- metabolic biochemistry. Fun, right? I was pretty stock standard university student (Picture related, it me, prior to diagnosis!)

My doctor had noticed just the week before that in my standard iron level check ups, I’d actually been showing both signs of iron deficiency, and iron overload, for the last year. It’d always been chalked up to allergies or illness before, but this time, he wanted a clinical haematolgist to check it out. I noticed around this time if I raised my left arm above my head, I’d lose circulation in it. I noted it in my brain, intending to tell the haematologist about it. An early morning shower lead me to discover the swollen lymph nodes in my neck on both sides, and seeing as I could get into my doctor that day, I said screw it, booked the appointment, and handed in my last assignment for the semester. I truly walked into that appointment, believing I’d be back home in a few hours with nothing much more than a “Well, you’re probably getting something viral, but bring it up to the haematologist in a week and a bit when you see him”

This was definitely not the case.

He immediately started calling up every hospital in my city, looking for one that could get me in for a CT scan that day, while shooing me across the hall to have bloods taken, and to call my parents, knowing this was something a little more serious than just a viral infection.

Mum tells me the images of my CT were pretty popular, a lot of staff went into the room, but they let us go, with no hint of what they found. My doctor rang me on the drive back home, and asked me to come in, where he dropped the bomb I probably had lymphoma, the blood flow to my brain was being cut off, my airway was being cut off, and I needed to go present to emergency -now-. I didn’t have time to go home, and frankly, he really should be telling me this news over the phone, instead of telling me face-to-face.

I saw him at 11am. By 4pm, I had been admitted to hospital, with a bed up on the cancer ward.

The next week was a mess of tests and preparations. They needed to check my heart and lung function, get me in for fertility preservation, determine and stage my disease, get the hardware installed to have chemo through, and determine and order the chemo I’d need. They...didn’t get it all done, but, a big chunk of it they managed

I was diagnosed with Stage III/IV Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. So here, the left side is a normal result. Right side? All that extra dark black stuff, and how my bones are darker and more visible? That was my cancer (Well, except that one little spot in my upper arm, that was from robo-arm installation)

I started chemotherapy, ABVD, a week after I was admitted, with the help of my handy dandy robo-arm! It’s actually called a PICC line, but, you do kinda look cyborgish. It’s a thin tube they insert into one of the large veins in your arm, and push the tip right through until it sits just above your heart. Then, they can use that tube to pump chemotherapy directly to your heart, to be rapidly distributed through the body, and they can also use it as a needle free way to draw blood (Believe me, this is a function I miss)

My first dose I had as an inpatient in the hospital, and after a few days, they were happy with how I was going, the nodes in my neck had started to reduce, so I was discharged. And all the other treatments I had as an outpatient. Half a day at the hospital, every 2 weeks, for 6 months.

They did another scan after 2 months of treatment, and that one, it showed no cancer! We were exhilarated, and it made the next 4 months of treatment a lot easier to bear. I organised to return to university in 2017, organised getting my apartment back, and looked forward to settling back into my future. My last day of chemo, I’m a little disheveled, I don’t look the best, but, I was so excited. We brought in cupcakes for every patient and nurse on that day.

I had another scan in November, which, too, came back clear, and my haematologist gave me clearance to fly to the US the week of Christmas, to spend time with Zak (the-zaktrain), who was my rock through all this, and continues to be to this day. Zanin (mugishalffull) even flew in for a weekend, and we burnt up the town (And spent 90% of our time in the warm playing video games). We adopted a cat! And then it was back to studying at university, back here in Australia. I moved out back to the apartment I had before, and started getting back to my life... when we found a lump in my neck again. Only on the left side, this time, not the right.

They did more biopsies and scans, and, they confirmed my Hodgkins was back. Because it was such a short time for it to come back, it was now refractory disease, and, for extra bonuses, they found it in the left side pelvis and in my ribs. I found out this -after- I got admitted for hospital for extreme pain in my left side of the pelvis. (Painkillers are a hell of a drug)

The treatment this time was more savage, ICE chemotherapy, over 3 days which I was required to be hospitalised, into an autologous stem cell transplant. Basically, a bone marrow transplant, but using my own cells to replenish the marrow. This also required the installation of new, and more terrifying, hardware just after the second month.

This would allow them to harvest my stem cells they were about to start forcing my bones to produce, through a machine that’s kinda like a dialysis machine. I did two months of ICE chemotherapy, before they moved onto stem cell harvest. I had to inject myself twice daily to stimulate the production of them, which made you feel like you had the flu and a migraine all wrapped up in one, and then when you had enough, they harvested, which was a day hooked up to this machine

Another scan, they found the ICE chemo had shrunk the cancer in my chest, and seemed to have cleaned up my bones, so they went ahead with the next stage, transplant. For this, I’d need to travel, they don’t do that at my local hospital, so, I lived in another city for a few months. They gave me a week of BEAM chemotherapy, which destroys the bone marrow, which...they normally do as an outpatient, but, my symptoms were bad enough that I was admitted on the second day. This was my world for a month (Thank god for mobile broadband with free Netflix data)

After the chemotherapy was done, my stem cells that had been frozen and prepared, were re-infused into my system. Thus came the most risky two weeks of my life. Without bone marrow, my blood counts would drop, and I’d have literally no immune system (which, given its repeated attempts at killing me, is what it gets) and the stem cells would take about 2 weeks to engraft, and start producing cells of their own. And for some people they woudn’t engraft. For me, fortunately, my cells did engraft, and like clockwork, about 2 weeks later, I started producing my own cells again, and was no longer reliant on blood transfusions and being fed through a tube. Not really any pictures of this time, I spent 99% of my time sick or asleep, really.

I returned back home, hardware removed now I no longer needed it, and in July of this year, they did yet another scan. It seemed as though the cancer was all gone, but, the nodes were still quite swollen. My haematologist suggested radiotherapy to those areas as consolidation, and the radiotherapists agreed, after seeing the latest scans. So, I did a month of radiotherapy to my chest and neck, into hospital every day. And I came out with this horrific thing. I hate this mask. It currently lives in the roof because the noises it makes make me have mini panic.

Radiotherapy, I finished that last week. Other than the mask from hell to keep you bolted down, it was easier to deal with, than chemotherapy. In a month, I have another scan, and hopefully, it’ll show no cancer with reduced swelling, and I can go back to planning and living my life again, albiet, with the caveat that the transplant recovery time is 6-12 months, and that I can’t do university until that recovery period is over. Hoping to go back to visit the states soon, and getting to see family, this year.

So, that’s what’s happened to me this year (and a bit). And why I seem sporadic and all over the place.

[fallish]

home (the hardest place to stay, to leave)

on ao3 | part 1

A/N: this is part 1 of a kind of kh3 fix-it. ill be going over things that did and didnt happen as the story progresses and i hope y’all like it. this is the first thing ive written in a long time so feel free to tell me what you think

summary: The story starts where Sora decides to start telling it.

Sora meets Riku when they were both too young to remember meeting. He thinks he was 4 and his mother had taken him out with her for errands. Endlessly curious and too lively for his mother to keep up, he had seen a boy who looked his age holding something shiny, and he had run up to him to ask what it was. Sora vaguely remembers telling Riku that it was pretty, Riku looking at him like he had another head, then thrusting out the chain saying he didn’t need it.

That’s not where the story starts.

They meet Kairi when Sora starts 2rd grade, and even though Riku is just a year above him, they don’t have play time together. She offers to play pirates with Sora, and he’s so elated, he talks Riku’s ear off about the girl who must be captain of the seas because she washed up on shore and clearly was meant to find her way to the islands. Riku smirks and says he just has to meet this elusive captain of the seas.

That’s not where it starts either.

A few months after meeting Riku, Riku meets Terra. He’s older and cool and a hero. Sora talks to Terra’s friend Aqua, and privately decides that Terra is a huge dork but maybe he is cool. He also spends a lot of time with Riku, and Riku is Sora’s best friend so he can’t have him. Aqua laughs when he tells her that. She tells him that Terra won’t take Riku away from him, but she looks doubtful for a second. She asks him to promise to keep Riku safe. He does. She laughs and relaxes, at peace with that, but the promise settles under Sora’s skin. It feels permanent.

Sora knows Riku made Terra a promise too, but he doesn’t know what it was. All he does know is that they were too young to know what they had promised. They were too small to know the pain and time a few chance meetings would cost them.

It kind of does start there, doesn’t it?

But maybe it doesn’t really start until they have the raft mostly put together. They are too old to think leaving the island with nothing but a raft is a good idea but too young and full of wanderlust to really consider if what little they’d gathered was enough. He goes home that night and thinks about the new room he’s staying in, full of things he doesn’t need. He thinks about his mother. He thinks about his aunt in the next room over. When the storm starts, he doesn’t think twice about finding Riku.

The story can’t start there.

They are too fragile to make it on their own.

The story won’t start there.

They are surrounded by darkness.

There is too much story there.

For the first time, Sora feels the promise swelling up under his skin.

Pause.

The story starts where Sora decides to start telling it.

***

The beach is such an odd place to be now that there’s nothing holding them apart anymore. Kairi sits on the bent paupu tree and Riku leans against it to get the best view of the sunset possible. Sora stretches himself out so that his head rests in Kairi’s lap and his knee is pressed firmly into Riku’s shoulder, just enough so that he can feel that he’s there. Turning his head toward the sunset, he can see the sea salt gang playing frisbee in the fading light.

There’s no nostalgia, but a certain fondness in his voice when he says “I’m glad we’re all here. I’m glad I can see you guys again.” Both of them are quiet for the next few seconds, but he knows that nothing needs to be said here. Kairi huffs out a breathe, then threads her fingers through his hair. She places a small kiss on his forehead. Riku reaches out his right hand and twines Sora’s fingers through his and squeezes. They say a lot in those small actions. They say, me too and I’m not leaving. Sora feels his heartbeat settle and his eyes start to droop.

Kairi and Riku notice he’s nodding off, but they let it happen. They can hold him up

***

The first time he sees his old bed, Sora is convinced he is gonna pass out within seconds of his head hitting the pillow. Unfortunately, that turns out to not be the case. What does happen is what follows:

He lays down, and he shuts his eyes. The air sits still and silent and there is no sound but a distant echo of waves crashing on cool sand coming from his cracked window. Trying to ignore the need to reach for his phone and check on Donald and Goofy, he shifts restlessly, straining to hear anything else at all. The only other discernible sounds are those of his aunt bustling around in the kitchen, and looking at the clock, if her routine hadn’t changed while he was gone, she wouldn’t be done for a few hours.

The bed doesn’t rock under him at all when he stands up. He willfully doesn’t think about the constant turbulence of the gummi ship as he pushes the window fully open slowly, careful to not make any sound.

The light of the moon aides him in sneaking one foot after another over the hurdle height ledge of his window. Making his way past the kitchen window, which is wide open, he hears his aunt on the phone, “No, I just want to make sure I can make this place a little more like home for him. He has never really lived here before, I mean, I don’t even know if he ever had his own room after he left,”

Sora knew that coming back was a serious decision, but hearing the consequences of it makes him feel guilty for jumping back into her life like this. When they decided they wanted to leave, it was a decision made in loneliness and a little bit of anger, but back then, he never considered what it would do to her. Her sister gone a month prior, and then her nephew gone in the middle of the night. He wonders briefly if she suffered the same loneliness he felt after his mother passed. He can’t stay for longer.

He sneaks past the open window to the sidewalk and makes the familiar walk to Riku’s house. It’s no surprise, when he reaches, that Riku’s bedroom light is still on.

At Yen Sid’s, Riku used to open enemy files and write in his own descriptions in the middle of the night and hope Yen Sid wouldn’t notice. While they slept in the same room, Sora had watched him do it enough times to know he always fell asleep around his third edit of the night. He is certain that he made his own files so that he could continue the trend after becoming a master. He can’t help but adore the fact that Riku still keeps up with the little things they used to keep themselves sane through the countless training trial they fought through. Sora used to make small bead bracelets, each marking a new world and the people he met there. His new blue bracelet has the colors of the sea and he got the beads from Arendelle. Its fastened with a little snowflake charm that Elsa made him. Now, he fiddles with it while coming up with an entrance strategy now that there is no coconut tree outside Riku’s window.

After scaling the building and prying the window open, he allows himself to tumble heavily onto his best friend’s floor. The bed pushed into the corner of the room is far enough from the window that his fall doesn’t even make Riku stir, but its still loud enough to make Sora wince.

Sure enough, the notebook full of carefully documented heartless sits under Riku’s right hand, as he lies asleep, curled up with his left arm folded under his head. While Sora is practically known for being able to sleep anywhere, Riku can’t sleep without reading or writing something for a solid hour. Sora knows Mickey didn’t fare well with the constant selfie updates he used to send Riku in the Realm of Darkness. He’d received a few disparaging texts from the king asking him to keep it short so that when they could sleep, he didn’t have to worry about the light of the screen a few feet away being the eyes of a shadow. Riku always texted him almost immediately after those messages, telling him not to listen to anything the king said, and to keep sending updates. He used to say it made him feel better to know he was okay.

Sora could get with the philosophy of knowing if his best friend was safe. That was why he was currently standing in Riku’s bedroom, exhausted, with no plan of what to do once he got there. Now that he thought about it, he had only wanted to get away from the dense atmosphere of his own room. He and Riku had grown up in this room together, almost. Remnants of their childhood remained in the wooden swords that were shoved into a corner, and the several little pieces of their play island make believe props strewn about.

Sora picks up an eyepatch and thinks of Will and Jack and the Caribbean. The memories flash through his head almost too fast to keep track of and all of a sudden, Rudder of Fate is in his hand. While the ache of loss is better felt by Elizabeth, he still feels a pang in his chest whenever he thinks of them. He sigh and keeps out his keyblade, switching to the Kingdom Key as he sits on the floor, near the foot of Riku’s bed. If he can’t sleep, then the least he could do it make sure Riku is safe while he does.

***

Riku wakes up slowly, a trend that has been going on since they had come back to the islands. With his eyes closed, he moves each of his limbs, one at a time, only to confirm what he already knew, which was that he was still exhausted. After the war was over, he had asked Mickey why he was so tired all the time, and they had settled on the conclusion that was the absence of stress. After being under so much pressure for so long, it was normal for even masters to need time to settle back to a baseline level of stress.

When he stretched out his right leg straight, he his a soft spike and he nearly jumped out of his skin, his eyes shot open so fast. “S’ra,” he managed to croak out before scrambling up, “What’re you doing here?” After assessing the actual situation, he asked “More importantly, why’re you down there?”

Sora, who had sprung up when Riku had called his name, looked dazed. “What?” he asked. He couldn’t remember falling asleep, but now that he was awake his quickly vanished his keyblade and rubbed at his eyes. “I’ve been here forever. For eons, in fact,” and at Riku’s raised eyebrow, he stared down at his hands trying to wake up as he expanded, “Couldn’t sleep. Don’t worry about it.” When he looked up to see his eyebrow still raised, he just made an exasperated sound and started to get up.

Finally, Riku nods, “While I happen to know that you are pretty good at sleeping, I guess I get it. You should’ve woken me up though.” Riku moves through his regular morning routine of swinging his legs down and making the bed behind him. Sora simply lays down on the floor and waits for him to go through the motions of his morning. As Riku finishes, he looks down at the boy on the floor. His eyes are closed and he looks like he hasn’t really slept. “Wanna take a nap?”

Sora looks guiltily at the clock and grimaces. “Even if we could, I don’t think that’s a great idea. We’re gonna be late for brunch.”

“After then?” Riku asks, forcing his tone to remain as casual as possible. Sora squints suspiciously.

“Sure…”

And Riku smirks at his victory, “Then you’ll come back here with me after, and we’ll both get a well deserved nap.” He says it with such finality that Sora rolls his eyes. They have to meet up for brunch with Kairi, and if they don’t leave in the next ten minutes, she’s going to have their hides. “C’mon let’s go.”

And just like that, its on to brunch.

[missmeredith]

My Hiatus: Crash. Burn. Recover. Rebuild.

IT’S BEEN A WHILE!

Ah, blogging. It’s been a while since I took 2016 completely off from triathlon. At the beginning of 2016, I knew it was going to be really busy and intense and that my priorities were going to shift. I started a new job in January and my (now) husband and I planned our whole wedding and got married. On top of those things, we were invited to 13 weddings, plenty of baby showers, baptisms, birthdays and parties.

A full, happy life indeed, filled with celebration, love and shared Google sheets, but exhausting nonetheless. Was it weird to take time off from training and racing? Yes. Was I sad? Sometimes. Am I glad I did it? Yes and no. I always wonder if I would have crashed and burned as hard as I did if I didn’t take time off. We’ll never know. 

CRASH AND BURN: I still hit the gym 4-5 times a week since I had to keep up with my “bridal bod,” but gone were the days of 5-6 hour swim/bike/run cardio workouts. It was tough for me to find a happy medium. One of the huge benefits of triathlon is that it helps me manage my anxiety disorder, which can be debilitating and crippling, so having an outlet like triathlon is mandatory to my overall wellness (mandatory to everyone’s wellness in fact, anxiety disorder or not).

Like I said, 2016 was intense, so you can only imagine how high my anxiety was. The year turned out great and as we entered the final month, I was tired. I was running on empty. What felt like a year-long body clench was finally wearing me down to the point where if I didn’t stop myself, my body was going to force me to.

And that’s exactly what it did. I got sick. I got dehydrated and ended up in the ER (my first trip ever) and the scariest part of it all, even when I was sitting in the hospital bed getting an IV, I still felt like I was supposed to be doing something productive. It was like being sent to the ER wasn’t enough for me to stop. After waiting for hours for my bloodwork and CT scan results, the ER doctor told us my bloodwork was fine, but that the CT scan showed a nodule on my left thyroid gland and that I needed to get it biopsied. The nodule wasn’t even causing the symptoms and I had no idea it was there. Many doctors examined my neck and couldn’t feel it and nothing on my bloodwork would have indicated its presence either. As we learned, thyroid nodules are common, especially in women, and most of them are benign, but some can be cancerous. Thyroid cancer is slow-growing, very treatable and one of the least-serious cancers out there, but any time you hear the “C” word, the world stops for a second.

RECOVER AND REBUILD: I met with an endocrinologist and the initial biopsy revealed that they found some atypical cells in the nodule and my genetic markers were labeled as “suspicious” for a predisposition to develop thyroid cancer. My endo gave me the choice to leave the nodule in and we monitor it every 6 months or I could take out of the whole left thyroid gland with the nodule so we can surgically biopsy it. We made the decision that surgery was my best option and we’ll determine next steps (if any) once the pathology comes back. Let’s take this thing out and MOVE ON. 

Throughout the first few weeks of 2017, I’ve made some time to reflect. Am I doing everything I can to be healthy both physically and mentally? Should I be prioritizing differently? What are all of my outlets to manage stress? How can I loosen the grips of anxiety and be more present so I can enjoy all of life’s great moments and avoid the crash & burn? Before and after surgery, I am going to use the time to answer these questions so I can properly recover and rebuild to be stronger in all aspects…and so I can start training (smart) again. Originally, my first race of the year was going to be the Rutgers Half Marathon in April, but since I will be out of commission for a few weeks in February, I’m going to have to find a later race (any recommendations?!).

I’ll consider my crash and burn a blessing in disguise, because it forced me stop and it helped us discover this under-the-radar nodule. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t scared or if I said I’ve had this mindset the whole time. Though this isn’t confirmed cancer and my prognosis should be good either way, this little “blip” in life has forced me to take a reality check. At this reality check pit stop, I’ve been reminded that I have a great a support system in my husband, family, friends and colleagues and to not let fear PARALYZE YOU. Because it can, and then you're letting it win. I also picked two quotes along the way:

“Know that you are stronger than you thought possible and strength will carry you through.”

“Your faith can move mountains and your doubt can create them.”

Like I always say, LET’S DO THIS. #byenodule

xx m

[theconservativebrief]

I sit in my living room, contemplating the slim, smooth aquamarine tube. Its color is a few shades removed from Tiffany blue, and it’s an inch or so longer than a cigarette. I do not smoke anything ever, but in order to psyche myself up for the full experience of the thing, I try to channel that famous picture of Audrey Hepburn on the Breakfast at Tiffany’s movie poster, a long, slim cigarette holder hanging out of her mouth.

This isn’t a cigarette, though. It’s a Breathe “citrus flavored vitamin B12 mist” — a.k.a. a vitamin vape. It costs $45 for three pens. And disposable vaporizer pens like this one, containing substances like vitamins and essential oils instead of nicotine “e-juice,” are increasingly being marketed to wellness-minded consumers.

After one drag on the vaguely sweet-tasting vape, I promptly start coughing, spewing out a fruity puff of vapor. It doesn’t really feel like wellness. It feels like a violation of my alveoli.

Vapes, or e-cigarettes, are all over the news right now, especially Juul, the brand that’s trendy among teens because of its sleek profile and fruity flavors. They’re so popular and so controversial that the Food and Drug Administration is now actively targeting manufacturers that push nicotine vapes; it may even move to ban some. There is growing concern in the medical and public health communities about the immediate harmful effects on young people’s developing brains and bodies and the unknown longer-term effects.

But there is another market popping up whose purveyors suggest vaping things that are not nicotine can be healthy. It’s a jarring visual to see what looks like smoke coming out of someone’s mouth in a wellness ad, except brands like Breathe and its sister brands VitaminVape, VitaStik, BioVape, NutroVape, and Monq are doing just that.

And like so many concepts that catch on in wellness circles, companies that sell these products take something with a veneer of scientific backing or credibility, couch it in language that sounds healthy, and then sell it to you via a marketplace with very little regulation or oversight. It’s not surprising that vape technology, which is so trendy right now, is the newest frontier for selling so-called wellness. But this technology is so new that it’s not clear if these vapes are helpful or harmful.

The Breathe vape is a good case study in how the wellness industry uses an inkling of evidence to package a product as healthy. The company’s founder, George Michalopoulos, is not a physician, but during a phone call, he said he worked in social media. He developed a B12 vape in 2013 for his personal use, he says, because he was a vegan at the time. (Many vegans need to take vitamin B12 supplements so they don’t become deficient.)

He says he was interested in it because he “enjoys the process of vaping.” He points to a few studies done in the 1950s and ’60s that showed promise for the use of inhaled vitamin B12 for people with deficiencies, which are linked prominently on Breathe’s site.

Michalopoulos says people have told him anecdotally that their vitamin B12 levels increased after using it and have shared “copies of their blood test results” with him. He also said he is paying an outside lab to perform a clinical study, sometimes done by supplement and skin care companies, mainly for marketing purposes so that they can quote data and make more specific claims. “I’d rather people understand that this is still a young science,” he says.

What he did not say in our phone call, but which I confirmed later, is that he also owns VitaminVape, which charges $39 for three pens. He founded it a few years before Breathe, which he launched at the end of 2017 to appeal to “vegans and B12 enthusiasts.” The website language, design, and testimonials are all the same as what’s on the Breathe website. The difference is that VitaminVape uses a synthetic form of vitamin B12 and Breathe uses a naturally-derived form. A representative said “serious vegans and wellness consumers” prefer the latter.

VitaminVape has been mentioned in several negative stories in the press exploring the legitimacy of these types of vapes, mainly pointing out that they are scientifically unproven and have potentially unknown risks.

Michalopoulos is savvy about the claims that he makes for Breathe. The site states, “Each diffuser contains 100s of breaths of natural energy with no caffeine, no sugar crash, no calories and no nicotine.” It’s considered a supplement, and as such, the company cannot make any specific claims about what it supposedly can do. There is nothing about veganism on the site. The FDA can issue a warning to supplement companies that make claims that seem drug-like. Michalopoulos says he tells people to check with their doctors first, but that recommendation is buried in an FAQ section on the site.

Breathe sells only one type of vape, which it claims delivers vitamin B12. According to the company, five to 10 breaths equals “approximately 333 mcg of B12 (>8,000% Daily Value).” Vitamin B12 is a substance humans do not produce themselves yet need for a variety of important bodily functions like forming red blood cells, promoting neurological functioning, and synthesizing DNA. It’s present in foods like meat, milk, fish, and eggs, which is why vegans are often deficient.

There’s also a rare disease called pernicious anemia whereby people can’t absorb vitamin B12 via their gastrointestinal tracts because they lack an important protein called intrinsic factor. Older adults and people with other gastrointestinal problems can also be susceptible to vitamin B12 deficiencies. They can get it via injections or nasal sprays or gels, according to Dr. Ron Crystal, the chair of the genetic medicine department and a practicing pulmonologist at Weill Cornell/New York Presbyterian. He’s also studied nicotine vapes and their propellants, which can include things like propylene glycol, flavorings of unknown origin, and glycerin.

What’s important to note, though, is that true deficiency is rare and you can’t self-diagnose it. Vitamin B12 deficiency can have vague side effects like fatigue, so doing proper lab testing through a doctor is crucial, according to Crystal. And taking too much vitamin B12 can have side effects such as rashes, acne, increasing blood pressure, facial flushing, and discolored urine. “It is a drug, essentially,” says Crystal.

“If you’re deficient, your doctor should prescribe what you should be doing. If you have normal levels, adding more doesn’t do anything. It doesn’t help,” he says. “The concept of just taking vitamin B12 to increase your energy and so on is a myth.”

But because some of the symptoms of deficiency are so vague, it’s a myth that has helped promote a long history of dubious vitamin B12 usage, popularized by celebrities. Who can forget the now-infamous episode of The Simple Life when Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie got vitamin B12 shots in their butts? (I, for one, cannot.) Madonna also gets them and supposedly once even administered one to Justin Timberlake. They’re commonly offered via injection or IV drip at wellness clinics; some services will even bring them to you.

There’s not a lot of evidence that you can absorb vitamins by inhaling them, though. There have been no studies more recent than the old ones cited by Breathe and others, except for a few on nasal sprays, which exist in prescription form. There certainly haven’t been any studies on B12 delivery via vape.

Normally when you take a vitamin (or eat food, for that matter) enzymes in your stomach and all along your colon break it down until its smaller chemical components can be absorbed into your bloodstream. Nasally, vitamin B12 can be absorbed across epithelial cells, which line the nasal cavities and airways. Epithelial cells act as a gateway for things to be absorbed or blocked. This is how medicines like asthma inhalers are able to penetrate into the lungs.

Crystal says if a person is deficient, “the concept that vitamin B12 can be absorbed through the lung epithelial cells is a rational concept.” But he says this with caveats: For one, the effects of delivering that aerosol via vape are totally unstudied. “You’re putting something inside your body and it’s unknown.”

With vaping, there’s also the matter of the propellant, as well as the other chemicals that help give the formula its flavor and convert it into an aerosol when you puff. Heating up the liquid ingredients could potentially affect how they act in the body and produce new chemicals. They “may cause some damage to the cells,” according to Crystal, though he says we just don’t know for sure yet how that would look long-term.

There haven’t been a ton of conclusive studies about vaping essential oils, flavorings, and propellants that can be in vaping fluids, but a preliminary study on cells suggest that some flavorings might cause cell damage. Breathe uses vegetable glycerin as its propellant, whose long-term effects when inhaled are not known. The bottom line is that no one really knows what kind of damage vapes, especially ones without nicotine, can do in either the short or long term.

The other potential problem is that because these products are considered supplements, they aren’t regulated by the FDA the same way drugs are. There’s not even a guarantee that the ingredients a company says are in a vape actually are there. Customers are expected to just trust that supplement companies are honest and that the ingredients are there in the amount they’re supposed to be. But studies, as in the one that was just released earlier this month that found 800 supplements were contaminated with prescription medications and other substances, prove that this is sometimes not the case.

Besides Breathe and VitaminVape, other brands on the market include VitaStik, which offers multiple combinations of essential oils and different vitamins, and Monq, which is just essential oils. Some brands call themselves a “mist” or “personal diffuser” or an “aromatherapy stick” and seem to want to avoid the word “vape.” Make no mistake, though: They are vapes.

The combination of an unproven mode of delivery plus a lack of regulation and transparency is something you’d be advised to stay away from. Even Dr. Oz, a person known to endorse all sorts of questionable practices, says to skip it. Need vitamin B12? Forget about Breakfast at Tiffany’s comparisons and … just eat breakfast.

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Original Source -> These new vape companies want you to inhale … vitamins

via The Conservative Brief

[s3venpounds]

1-102

102 questions? damn thats gonna be tough my guy but aight

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

i do. at least, i trust in them enough to not take the phrase lightly.

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

considering im 22 thats not that huge of a gap, considering some people have like a 10 year difference. so yeah i guess

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?

pretty recently actually, went to a birthday party of an acquaintance and i didn’t really enjoy myself til i went to sing karaoke but my drunk friend was being hella annoying at the same time

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

i do that on the daily so yeah

5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

i mean probably, humans can’t do ANYTHING without having both a positive and negative influence

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?

yeah Spire- Reverie( feat FAWNA) that song was sent by said friend that i got reminded of =]

7. What exactly are you wearing right now?

red plaid boyfriend style shirt, pepperoni pizza print socks, superman boxers and some athletic shorts with my highschools logo and colors 

8. How often do you listen to music?

whenever im not talking to someone, playing games, or in a serious atmosphere

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

sweats after wearing sweats style pants for so long its hard to go back to my skinny jeans

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013?

considering its 2017 and literally nothing happened in 2013 but my graduation then no

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?

both? i think im one of those things you call an ambivert.

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’? 

yeah and he was way too timid about it man like ‘s just a kiss

13. What about ‘R’?

nope all my friends with an r name arent close enough for me to try that shit

14. Can you drive a stick shift?

nope would love to learn though

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

yep. mostly so i know where to tweak my personality so i can improve as a person i guess but yeah i tend to get paranoid

16. Are you going out of town soon?

not to my knowledge no, but it wouldnt be the first time my parents pull out “surprise” plane tickets to go somewhere i didn’t want to and on such short notice

17. When was the last time you cried?

mmmmmm can’t remember, so its not in the past 6 months or so

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?

yeah, went downhill afterwards

19. If you could change your eye color, would you?

blue or purple if possible thatd be dope

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?

no not really

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.

how hungry i am and the lack of food

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?

considering im not gay or at least not confirmed yet, no. 

23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?

dunno, not even sure where we stand

24. What are you sitting on right now?

a folded up blanket and an old office chair

25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

its not everyday but when i say i love them they say it back so thats nice

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

yep, multiple times. but yknow oh well right? i would rather something be left where it is than go through an extra excruciating chapter of hurt just because i fell in love with someone i barely knew

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

A.T

28. Do you get a lot of colds?

nope infact the last time i got sick was 2 years ago i believe

29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?

blue notes, it was on sale and it WAS really soft not its just eh soft

30. Does anyone hate you?

HAHAHHAA yeah. one of my friends confirmed it too still do i think

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?

why would i hide them.. these questions were clearly made for someone under 18 and i apologize for reblogging without reading them

32. Do you like watching scary movies?

FUCK.NO.FUCK YOU FOR MAKING ME WATCH THEM AND FUCK YOU FOR BRINGING THEM NEAR ME

33. Do you want your tongue pierced?

nah sounds like too much maitenence

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

my first year. erase my existence. nah im kidding i would probs delete last year or the year before that anywhere in that time frame

35. Did you have a dream last night?

nope sadly =[

36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

the day before yesterday we were both v sleepy after movie night

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

nope. marriage is an annoying thing and until i find someone worth all that struggle not gonna happen. but ive got a good feeling about this one

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

considering they said i love you yeah i would hope so

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

that same person also said this a few days ago so yeah i think so

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

yeah found some old classic songs and got my body groovin that night

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?

nope 

42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?

nope

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

no… and now i feel a little sad

44. What’s the best part about school?

when all ur friends did something amazing yesterday and they talk about it with u all excited and shit

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

yep , some are really cringe worthy 

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

nope i just texted notes were too hard to pass without getting caught

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

yeah a lot to the point im almost there

48. Were you single over the last summer?

yep

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

yeah a little

50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?

chores, usual adult things, maybe cooking

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?

nah i dont hate him, maybe not on the best terms with em but yeah

52. Are you nice to everyone?

nope there are some people that just rub me the wrong way

53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

yeah 100%

54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

are you serious? 6 months? thats so short, how the hell anyone falters at that point? i expect people to start cheating ATLEAST at the 1 year mark 

55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

not very to be honest. i wear my heart on my sleeve as a friend says.

56. Do you think you like someone?

yeah i think i do

57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?

no…….?

58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?

boys are fun for mindless fun but girls are more for sentimental stuff. both are equally nice to be around

59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?

yeah tequila is a bitch

60. Do you hate anyone?

yep! same person who hates me!

61. How’s your heart?

like spiritually or like physically. havent gotten a medical check up so dunno, and spiritually? its being taken care of so thats nice

62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

yep! and i refuse to talk about it =]

63. Have you ever cried over a guy?

nope never

64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?

person who hates me HEH maybe even my best friend but in an endearing way like “ this fucking bitch decided to snort fucking fundip hes my friend but god damn hes a fucking dumbass”

65. Are your toenails painted pink?

nope i wouldnt mind painting em tho

66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?

probably i make a lot of them

67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?

they better not. youre a shitty person for pushing someone to that point. 

68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?

yeah, sometimes on purpose sometimes on accident, sometimes cuz i wanted to

69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

A.T

70. How do you look right now?

like shite mate i havent showered yet

71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?

yeah Justin HEH

72. Can you commit to one person?

i damn hope so otherwise life is gonna be hella lonely

73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?

yeah! 

74. Have you ever felt replaced?

yep. multiple times too

75. Did you wake up cranky?

nope woke up horny. thats what happens with morning wood

76. Are you a jealous person?

yeah, the more amazing someone is the more jealous i get

77. Are relationships ever worth it?

i wanna say yes so yall dont shy away from them but like real talk its fucking aggravating, a lot of work, and tiring sometimes. anyone who says otherwise is glossing over shit or hasn’t seen the whole spectrum yet

78. Anyone you’re giving up on?

yeah about 98% done too

79. Currently wanting to see anyone?

yeah 

80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

the same tiring shit as everyday pinky try and take over the world

81. Last person you cried in front of?

justin

82. Is there someone you will never forget?

Azley.

83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?

considering they stayed up with me while i was hitting an emotional low yeah i would think so

84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

cuddling, probably freaking out that we’re physically right in front of each other

85. Are you over your past?

nah, i like my past as shitty, cringy and heartbreaking as it is i love it

86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?

yeah isnt that how relationships happen….?

87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?

yeah justin

88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

yeah i’d accept it, then close the door.

89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

yeah cuz its fucking cold outside my dood, here lemme get some tea or some shit youre probs freezing

90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

honestly yeah i once had this really spotty conversation with a girl literally everyone in the school hated at the time. then i realized wow, im just horny and have no substantial feelings for this person and if i do go through with this i will regret it

91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?

i dont know i dont like to think very far

92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?

yeah he grew out his hair like that annoying french kid in the will smith movie hitchcock that kept calling him  le petite asshole

93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?

nope

94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?

nope 

95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?

nope HAH

96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?

considering the last person was my brother fuck no. hes ugly as all hell

97. Who do you have texts from?

uhh, my brother, my best friend, my brother in law, my phone company, and a close friend

98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? i would cheer em on while i get fetch the crown royal hidden in the back of the pantry

99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

yeah not that much different from anyone else really

100. Who’s in your profile picture with you? 

no one unless you mean the person who took the photo then my cousin

101. Ever kissed under fireworks?

no, and i dont plan to now. i hate them.

102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?

yes.

overall this shit has gotten my mood a little low so if yall excuse me im gonna mentally drown in music

[sunshinelulusplatoon]

To Let The Past Go Chapter 5

(Woot, another chapter. Warning though, bit cussing at the end. Enjoy)

Chapter 1:http://sunshinelulusplatoon.tumblr.com/post/154343280234/alright-finally-ive-got-this-started-for-those

Chapter 2:http://sunshinelulusplatoon.tumblr.com/post/155644766709/to-let-the-past-go-chapter-2)

Chapter 3: http://sunshinelulusplatoon.tumblr.com/post/155825340079/to-let-the-past-go-chapter-3

Chapter 4: http://sunshinelulusplatoon.tumblr.com/post/156037776559/to-let-the-past-go-chapter-4

                                          Chapter 5: Change and Decisions

 As January flew by, many changes were occurring around Lulu. News of a new area for the Turf Wars hub had been flying around along with news of new weapons and new gear. Even the new presence of a small kitten hanging around Judd had spread like wildfire around the Inklings, Inktolings, Octarains, and other species living in the area. Concern on older players and adults, many started research on the new mammal to try and figure out where it had come from. Even concerning the octarian king, Octavio wasn’t too keen on Lulu being around the small mammal till word of its intentions and behaviors were finalized. Annoyed but obedient, Lulu followed her grandpa’s orders to stay away from it though collecting sea snails became a bit of a hassle for her; having to ask cuttlefish to get them for her from Judd. Other news of Callie and Marie’s music contract ending in summer had been floating around but no proper word had been said. Even the girls couldn’t confirm or deny it as Lulu visited them for a small lunch break.

Other news had also been flying around but only in the Valley. Residence were happily spreading the news that by early spring Octo Valley would be fully repaired and open back up to tourist and new residence. Come fall, schools would open back up to let students of old and new in for proper education again. Even colleges were taking applications for fall semester as students everywhere inside the valley were signing up. Hearing the news, Lulu informed Marcy who came down to apply and sign up for her classes. As promised by Octavio for providing the turbine designs that returned power to the valley, Marcy was given full ride to the biggest engineering university in the valley as well as proper boarding, transportation passes, and was even planned to internship with the electrical engineers working and maintain power in the valley come her second year.

As the last days of January came, things started to slow down and fall back into normal pace as Lulu, Marwick, and Marcy were waiting for Joey at Cuttlefish’s manhole to get some lunch and play turf wars for the rest of the afternoon. “Eh, I still can’t believe it’s really happening!” Marcy comment, nerves and joy in her voice. “Real proud of babe! You’re following your dreams. And all that studying paid off for yah. You passed those entrance exams like it was nothing!” Marwick commented before giving Marcy a kiss on the forehead. Softly giggling, Marcy replied, “I know. I just can’t wait. But I won’t forget you guys! I’ll definitely make time to play and practice turf wars so we can work to make the championship again!” “Hey, no rush! We got plenty of time to take another trophy home. Your studies come first,” Lulu replied, patting Marcy’s back. “I know. But I don’t want you thinking I’ve abandoned the team,” Mary whispered. “Nah, Marcy Bean, you know I would never think that. We have been through thick and thin too much for me to ever think like that,” Lulu chuckled.

With giggles and chuckled from all three of them, the three didn’t pay attention to the rushing inktoling coming towards them until he slammed into the bars in front of them and flip onto his backside. “AHHH! JOEY!” The three shouted, rushing to get him back up and make sure he was okay. Joey just laughed it all off. “Woops! My bad!” Joey coughed, rubbing his stomach from where he smacked into the bars. “Joey what the hell?” Lulu questioned, worried for her friend. “Sorry guys for being late but man do I got great news,” Joey replied, getting up and bouncing in excitement as if following of from the bars didn’t happen. “Bro, what’s up? You drinking too much coffee again for you to be bouncing like that?” Marwick joked. Joey just brushed it off. “Nah, I’m serious! Check it out!” Joey replied before pulling a paper out and handing it to Lulu. “Lulu read it out loud!” Joey exclaimed, bouncy even more now. “Okay, okay!” Lulu replied, looking at Joey and wondering what he was so excited about before reading the paper.

“To Mr. Joey Oego, We are happy to inform you that your application to Astacus Police Academy in Jellyfish Cove of the Northern Province in Japan has been accepted for out 6 year training terms. You have also been given full ride to the academy including boarding, books, and equipment needed. You will be expected to move in by the 23rd of May for orientation and boot camp come summer and will start fall semester in August. We look forward to hearing from you on whether or not you accept into going to this fine establishment. Please reply before the 31th of January with your answer and let your higher working authorities know. Till meeting at orientation, With great respect, Dean of Astacus Police Academy, Ruko Belio.”

Hearing the words, everybody went silent before Lulu looked up at Joey. “Are…Are you serious? Is this really serious???” Lulu exclaimed about to lose it. Joey just nodded his head, excitement all his face before shouting, “I’M GOING TO THE ACADEMY!!!!” Tackling him, Lulu was spun around by Joey before the pair broke into dance moves, excited by this news. “Man you did it! You’re really going! Moving up in the force once you are done man!” Marwick gleamed. “I KNOW BRO!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! I GOT ACCEPTED!!!! I’M ACTUALLY GOING!!!” Joey shouted, picking Marcy up and swing her around before hugging onto her and Lulu both. Over hearing the excited conversation, Cuttlefish popped up from the manhole and chuckled, “Congrats boy! You finally made it! Now you work hard!” Smiling and trying to hold tears back, Joey nodded.

Grabbing their stuff and heading to find food, the four were in great spirits. “Marcy going to college, Joey going away to the academy for 6 years, things sure are changing around here,” Marwick stated. “It’s for the good though. Don’t you also have a new job you are starting in a few weeks at the noodle shop in the valley?” Lulu asked. “Yep! The boss was hiring and I wanted something to do while Marcy was going to college. Also helps us make some extra cash for leisure while living in the new flat,” Marwick replied. “How is it by the way?” Joey asked. “It’s pretty big with a decent kitchen, decent bath, and decent sized bedroom. Plan to move in it sometime this summer once we get proper furniture to put in it,” Marcy replied. “Sounds great. Couldn’t be more happy for you,” Lulu stated. “How about you Lulu? Heard Pops is about to put you into more royal duties from now on.” Joey questioned. “Yeah, it’s true. He’s given me more leisure in making decision with him and plans to put me in more situations where I need to critically think for my people. It’s not going to be easy but I’m not backing down!” Lulu replied eager and giving a fist pump. “Spoken like a true princess!” Joey laughed.

Arriving at one of their favorite dinners, the four walked in and settled in. Ordering lunch, the group chatted away as they waited for their food. Goals, life, things that have happen, news of the new turf wars gear and new places, the group gave their opinions and thoughts as the food arrived hot and ready for them. “You know once I leave you will have to find a new recruit,” Joey spoke to Lulu. “I know but I doubt it will be that hard to find someone. Plenty of newbies joining each day that can be easily trained to what we need. Shoot, some we even know we can recruit. Just how well they will listen is the thing. But I doubt I’ll have trouble finding someone while you are gone,” Lulu replies, taking a bite out of her French fries. “I just can’t believe you will be gone for 6 years,” Marcy spoke up, “It will be a big adjustment since none of us have been apart since like forever.” “I know Marcy Bean but we can’t stay in one moment of our lives together. Life brings us many things that we can either go with or push away. I’ve wanted this for a long time and I got my chance and I plan to take it,” Joey replied patting Marcy’s back. “I know Joey. I wouldn’t want you to turn it down either. It’s all just a big change,” Marcy replied sheepishly, giving a soft smile. “I know Marcy Bean but sometimes change is a good thing for the better. A lot has happen to us over the past three to four years and more is definitely on the way. So let’s not let it get us down. Let’s embrace it!” Lulu encouraged. “I’ll toast to that!” Marwich spoke, holding his cup up. Following notion, the other 3 held their cups up as Joey stated, “To change!” with the other three replying, “To change” before clanging their cups together and taking sips out of their drinks.

Finishing up and packing up as Joey went to pay, Marwick noticed the TV. “Hey, stage change!” Marwick commented, loud enough for Joey to hear as the group looked towards the TV in the back. As Callie and Marie came on TV, Callie announced the regular battle stages. First showing Moray Towers, Callie led off with, "Rollers are super effective here!" with Marie replying, "Chargers are the very best, like no gun ever was!" Next was Walleye Warehouse with Callie going, "Remember working here part-time back in the day?" and Marie going, "Yeah, and how often you broke the assembly line..." Last part getting a laugh out of Lulu and Joey, the group watched as the girls finished up meeting at the dinner exist and heading out. “Moray and the Warehouse. This should be interesting,” Joey commented, twirling his Splattershot Jr. in his hand. “Charger central. Definitely relying on you Marcy,” Lulu stated, giving a wink to Marcy. “Won’t let you down boss,” Marcy joked. “What I like to hear! Marwick, watch our back for us!” Lulu chuckled. “Will do!” Marwick replied nodding.

Reaching Inkopolis Tower and getting gear ready, Team Golden Sun headed into the tower and as the sun set later that afternoon, the team had plenty of wins under their belt for the day. Splitting the money up evenly between them, the group gave their goodbyes for the day as Lulu headed down Cuttlefish’s manhole towards the valley. Once in her own dome, Lulu was walking towards the house when she spotted her grandpa sweeping the porch though his expression on his face gave Lulu worry. Walking up, she could see something troubled him as his lips had a bit of a downward curl and his eyes seemed tired. “Grandpa?” Lulu spoke up. Snapping him out of thought, Octavio looked at her and smiled. “Welcome home Sunshine. Had fun today?” Octavio asked, perking his mood up trying to hide the concern and hint of worry that was on his face before but his voice seemed tired and out of breath. Lulu just looked more concern now. “Grandpa, what’s wrong?” Lulu questioned, giving a bit of a pout. “Nothing Sunshine…..Nothing you need to worry about,” Octavio replied, trying to brush the topic way. Still looking concerned, Lulu sighed before going into the house. Something was up but Lulu figured not to pressure it anymore with him. She knew he was acting himself when she left so something between that time period and now must of happen to drop his mood. Walking into the kitchen to grab a drink and see what her grandpa was cooking for dinner, she noticed an envelope on the table addressed to him. There was no returned address but it seemed to have been shipped by priority mail. Grabbing it and flipping it over, it seemed her grandpa had already opened it and whatever contents were in it were gone. “Is this what has him down?” Lulu thought before placing the envelope back down and grabbing bottle water out of the fridge and checking the pot on the stove to see beef stew with tentacles floating in it.

As night feel and the domes went dark, Lulu and Octavio were sitting at the smaller table in the kitchen eating dinner when Lulu spoke up. “Joey got accepted into the academy today,” Lulu stated. Octavio nodded not even looking at Lulu before replying, “That’s good! Congrats to him. He’s fulfilling his dreams.” Lulu looked annoyed. “He’s going to be gone 6 years so I’m gonna have to find someone new for our team,” Lulu stated. “That’s fine. Just be careful who you recruit,” Octavio replied, still acting if he’s fully not listening. Lulu was even more annoyed now. “And I’m 3 months pregnant with Marwick’s child,” Lulu stated, voice dry and annoyed. “That’s fin….WAIT!!! WHAT????” Octavio staggered, looking at Lulu completely confused and shock. Lulu chuckled. “Now I have your attention! What’s wrong with you? You’re not acting like yourself!” Lulu pouted. Giving a sigh in relief and annoyance as he leaned back in his chair, Octavio responded, “Lulu, please don’t do that again. I just have a lot on my mind at the moment is all. I promise I’m not ignoring baby girl.” “Does it have to do with that envelope that was on the table earlier? I saw it when I walked in when I came home to get a drink,” Lulu questioned, looking at her grandpa with a look of concern. Octavio went quite, looking at Lulu before sighing and taking a bite out of the beef in the stew. “It’s nothing you need to worry about baby girl,” Octavio replied, not looking at Lulu. Sighing and letting a raspberry off, Lulu returned to eating as the rest of dinner was silent.

Early to bed and early to rise, Lulu was out the door and headed off to different universes to visit some friends. Catching up with some old faces through turf wars and meeting some new, Lulu was gone most of the morning. She didn’t return home till after twelve carrying her charger as she came through the familiar kettle entrance of her dome. Walking up the hill, Lulu started to hear sounds and as she got closer she recognized it as arguing. “What in the world?” Lulu thought as she rushed down the hill towards the house. Upon hitting the bottom, the arguing was louder and coming from inside the house. But what caught Lulu’s surprise even more was the person standing on the porch, leaning on one of the rails, and looking down at the blooming roses. “….Kane??” Lulu called out, questioning what she was seeing as she walked up to the porch. Looking up, the forest green inktoling gave a weak smile. “..Hi Lulu,” Kane spoke, “Wasn’t exactly expecting to see you. Then again, wasn’t expecting to be here at all till Mom book the tickets and we left yesterday afternoon.” Lulu was speechless. Her mom was here too? Why? Was it because of Grandpa? What reason would they have to be here? The arguing inside seem to have gotten louder as Lulu walked up the sets and stood next to Kane. “…Kane…I…,” Lulu began hesitantly before Kane interrupted her. “…So you are my older half sister?” Kane spoke, looking back down at the rose, face lost of all expression. Lulu looked sadden before looking out yonder, leaning on the rail now herself. “I take even now, she didn’t tell you?” Lulu asked. “…No but I figured it out after them arguing for the first 10 minutes…” Kane replied. Taking a heavy sigh, Lulu looked at Kane. “I’m sorry. I didn’t even know…till I saw her at the airport,” Lulu sighed about to say something else when Kane spoke up. “She said something to you. That’s why you were upset when I had arrived. They argued about that. They argued about other things too…Lulu, what he said, what…our grandfather said, is it true? That she left you in an orphanage when you were just a hatchling?” Kane questioned looking up at Lulu with sadden eyes. Looking away, Lulu couldn’t bear to answer, knowing Kane’s opinions of his mother were usually bright and warm. “So it’s true…isn’t it,” Kane sighed, eyes showing heartbreak and sadness as he looked at Lulu; Lulu looking at him now and slowly nodding. Kane went silent from there as Lulu returned looking back towards yonder. She knew a lot must have been running through his head at the moment. But Kane finally broke the silence again. “I always suspected she was hiding something…she would never talk about her past or family on her side. She always told me it wasn’t important or just people I didn’t need to know. I just don’t get it though. You were just a hatchling. Hardly able to do anything to upset her so much like she is but she really hates you for some reason. Doesn’t make any sense for a parent to hate their child so much when they have done nothing wrong,” Kane questioned, words dry. “I guess just existing is enough for her to not want me….,” Lulu softly spoke. “….Do you know your dad?” Kane asked but Lulu shook her head. “Only she knows who he is,” Lulu replied.

The two sat there is silence for a while as the adults inside continued to argue. From the other end of the porch, the sliding door slide to Lulu’s bedroom slide open as a familiar zapfish fumble in flight out of the room. Spotting Lulu, he clumsily flew over to her; grabbing on to one of her tentacles. Natural instinct kicking in as her tentacle wrapped around him, Lulu pulled him up to let him rest on her shoulder as the zapfish nuzzled against her face. Kane chuckled a little. “Heh, a zapfish. Little guy looks like he took a beating. He yours?” Kane asked. “Yeah, I fished him up. He’s always been like this so I didn’t have the heart to throw him back when I caught him. He’s a good little guy, aren’t you Zappy,” Lulu cooed, getting a happy little cry out of the zapfish. Chuckling some more, Kane held out a hand to pet the zapfish as Zappy realized the notion and leaned into the touch. “Hehe, you like being petted, huh Zappy,” Kane joked, petting the zapfish as it gave happy chirps.

“Hey Kane?” Lulu asked as Zappy settled back onto her shoulder. “Yeah?” Kane replied. “Why are you guys here anyway?” Lulu questioned. “Some letter came in for mom and she wrote it back I suppose but then another came in with some documents and she went crazy from. Bought the tickets and here we are now. I really don’t know what’s going on or what the letters said but those to have been going out it now for almost two hours,” Kane replied concerned. Listening in, the argument seemed heated as both parties were speaking in octarian. “They were speaking inkling at first but now I don’t understand a word they are saying,” Kane commented. “It’s Octarian Kane. I can speak it and understand it. Right now…they are…strangely arguing about…me,” Lulu replied confused.

That’s when a loud scream of anger shook the house and heavy footsteps came to the sliding door. Slamming it open, Precious stormed out of the house and as the two watched, Octavio came after shouted, “PRECIOUS! DON’T YOU FUCKING WALK AWAY FROM ME!” Slightly up the hill, Precious turned around and shouted, “NO! I’M FUCKING DONE! I’VE HAD IT WITH YOU AND I’VE HAD IT WITH THIS PLACE! KANE! GET YOUR COD DAMN THINGS! WE ARE LEAVING!!!” Startled, Kane rushed inside to get his things before rushing out and trying to catch up to his mother who had continued to walk up the hill. “PRECIOUS! GET YOUR FUCKING ASS BACK HERE! IF YOU THINK YOU CAN LEAVE YOU ARE SURELY MISTAKEN. YOU EVEN STEP OUT OF THIS VALLEY AND I’LL HAVE YOUR ASS IN COURT!” Octavio shouted, chasing after her. Completely confused, Lulu rushed down the porch steps to catch up with everybody as Zappy hung onto her tentacle. “FOR FUCKING WHAT?” Precious screamed from the top of the hill. “CHILD SUPPORT, CHILD ABDUCTION, ENDANGERING A MINOR, AND A FEW OTHER THINGS I CAN THINK OF. YOU FORGET MY NAME IS ON HER BIRTH CITIFICATE!” Octavio shouted, pointing towards Lulu. From there Precious stopped in her tracks with Kane taking rest at one of the apple trees as Octavio and Lulu caught up. Standing next to Kane, Lulu watched as her grandpa walked towards her mother who was shaking and trying to hold tears back. “Surprised you didn’t add murder to that list,” Precious replied with a huff, wiping away tears that had fallen down her face. “Precious cod damn it that was years ago. You know as well as I do that was an accident. Honey, you need to stop blaming yourself for it,” Octavio replied, huffing and sighing. “Not like you didn’t. You could never look at me the same. You stopped caring about me when Mom died,” Precious hissed. “I NEVER STOPPED CARING ABOUT YOU PRECIOUS BUT YOU CLOSED YOURSELF OFF FROM ME!” Octavio shouted, tentacles twitching in anger, “You would never talk to me about how you felt or what was going on with you. I know your mother’s death hurt you just as much as it hurt me but I never blamed you. All I wanted was you to be alright but you got caught up in the wrong crowd before I could do anything to fix things and the next thing I know you’re gone out of my side. Not a day went by that I didn’t worry about you but I had a kingdom to run that was being overrun by terrorists trying to ruin any relationships we had with the inklings. So many times I kicked myself wondering what I could have done differently but nothing could change the past and even when you came back, you still wouldn’t let me in. All I wanted to do was help you but you kept rejecting me.” “And what about her? You cared about her more than me when I came back,” Precious fired back. “I was the only one taking care of her at the time. You wanted nothing to do with her! Just the idea of her bothered you so much. But that never meant I loved her more than you. Honey, you don’t know how much relief it was to have you home again where I could keep you safe. But you still refused to open up. And I did everything I could but you wanted nothing to do with me. But I wasn’t going to let you hurt her. Not my first grandchild. I was going to do everything in my power to make sure she was safe until whatever it was that was bothering was sorted out so we could work things out. But no, you left again, taking her with you. I may admit, I acted like I stopped caring then, but deep down, I always thought of you, hoping you were safe, hoping Lulu was safe, and hoping for both of you to come home to me!”

Precious stood there quite, tears rolling down her face as Lulu and Kane watched, concern and worry for her on their faces. “Then tell me what you want?” Precious finally spoke, not even looking at her father. “Precious baby, TALK TO ME! Open up and stop running from what bothers you before it eats you alive. Honey, I’m willing to start things over from scratch have but you have got to give me an inch. I can’t read your mind on what has been bothering you all these years and right now is a good time. I know you are on hard times and the last thing I want is you on the streets,” Octavio replied. Looking at him now, Precious asked, “How much do you know?” “I know you had to give up your husband’s company and bankrupt everything. They took the house from you to pay things off and you’re staying with friends since your husband’s parents want nothing to do with you or Kane. You are almost out of money too since you have no work at the moment,” Octavio stated. Hearing this, Lulu looked at Kane with concern. Kane just shoved it off with a, “its fine. Never like my grandparents anyway,” which sadden Lulu. Looking at her father with tears down her face, Precious sat there shaking as Octavio came up to her and wrapped his arms around her. “So what choice do I have now,” Precious spoke, slowly grabbing onto her father’s robes. “Well, you can choose to move back into the house and in time I’ll get rooms made for you and Kane and I can help you finish paying off whatever the collectors need. But only if you want to. The choice is yours,” Octavio replied. “After everything that’s happened, you would let me back in. Why?” Precious asked. “Because you are my baby and always have been. I may not have shown it at times but I still love you and I’ve always have. Just like you, I was in morning but I should never have ignored you like I did. That was my fault and I want to make up for that if you will let me,” Octavio explained softly, hold his crying daughter. Both fell silent then as Kane and Lulu watched, wondering what was going to happen then.

A week later….

“PRECIOUS! UP! BEFORE WE ARE LATE!” Octavio called out, knocking on the guest room door. Deciding to move back into the house, Octavio paid for the tickets for Precious and Kane to go back to the states to get their things before coming back and settling into the house. Like promised, Octavio paid off the collectors of any debit Precious had left from the lawsuits. Once back, Precious moved into the guest room while Kane took residence in Lulu’s room, trying to adjust to a zapfish who wanted to sleep in his tentacles, thinking they were some type of seaweed. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! DAD! IT’S NOT EVEN 6 IN THE MORNING!!!” Precious screamed from the bedroom. “Now she knows how I feel,” Lulu thought to herself as she brushed her teeth, sharing the sink with Kane who was still half asleep as he brushed his own. Spitting and washing their mouths out, the brother and sister walked into Lulu’s bedroom to grab clothes they needed for the meeting they were going to. Kane grabbing clothes out of his bag as Lulu open the chest in front of her bed, Lulu pulled out the familiar kimono she wore when she went to such political meetings. “Woah sis! You’re wearing that to this meeting?” Kane questioned, surprised by how fancy it was. “Always do. Was grandma’s. So was this,” Lulu replied as she pulled a box out and revealed a shell tiara. “NICE!” Kane exclaimed, giving a thumbs up. Walking into the room as Lulu and Kane undressed and got ready as Lulu was wrapping the kimono around herself, Octavio helped her tie it all together with its obi as Precious finally walked out of the guest room. “Morning Mom!” Kane stated before yawning. “Morning Kane,” Precious groaned, annoyed having to be up this early. “…Morning…,” Lulu stated as Octavio held her chin up to properly place the tiara on her head. “….Morning….Lulu…” Precious replied, some unease in her voice. Looking at her, Precious seemed to give off an annoyed look before looking at her father and stating, “You are seriously putting her in that? Mom was taller than her!” “Relax Precious. It doesn’t drag that much on her. Especially with her Geta on. Kane you are not wearing that t-shirt and shorts to the meeting! Put on one of those dress shirts and slacks I bought you with those new boots,” Octavio replied, satisfied with how the tiara sat on Lulu before looking over Kane dissatisfied, “Now are you going to get dressed or not Precious?” “Yes! Yes!” Precious groaned before walking to the bathroom and shutting the door behind her. As Octavio walked out of the room to start a pot of coffee before leaving, Kane came over to Lulu and looked her over. “You look great sis. And don’t worry about mom. I’m sure she will warm up to you in time,” Kane encouraged. “Yeah..at least she addressed me this time,” Lulu replied sheepishly. Putting their shoes on and walking out of the room after giving Zappy goodbyes, the pair walked into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee as the bathroom door could be heard being open and shut as the guest room door opened and close. “Ugh, she hasn’t changed. Takes forever to dress,” Octavio sighed. Chuckling, Kane and Lulu took sips of their coffee before Kane asked, “So is this going to really be your first time joining Gramps in making political decisions?” “Yep. Before I was in waiting, listening in and learning from Grandpa how things go. I know everybody already knows me but I’m still a bit nervous about what kinds of decisions I’ll be thrown into. Hopefully I don’t make a fool of myself,” Lulu replied concerned. “You will be fine baby girl! Nothing to worry about. Just follow your instincts,” Octavio spoke up. “Yeah, what Gramps said. I’m sure you will do fine,” Kane encouraged. Lulu gave a sheepish smile, but their words to ease some of her worries and Precious finally walked into the kitchen, wearing a business suit. Handing her a cup, Precious thanked her father as she made her coffee. “Are these meetings still the whole morning?” Precious asked. “Yep,” Octavio replied not batting an eye. “Ugh, figures,” Precious groaned as she took a sip of her coffee.

Finishing their coffees up and grabbing up what they need, Octavio locked the sliding screen door when everybody was out of the house. Following behind him, the family left the dome as they took a glider to head towards the palace in the middle of the main city in the major portion of the domes. Landing and making the trip to the palace, the family walked in and around to the back of the meeting room as they waited for all parties to show up. Word from the guards that everybody was here now, Octavio spoke. “Alright, everybody ready?” Octavio asked. “Ready as we will ever be Dad,” Precious replied, already wanting to go home. Shaking his head, Octavio motioned Lulu next to him as the family lined up in order. Hearing the guards called out for attention to their presence, the doors open and the family walked, giving few to higher parties and viewing attendants that the Entra family was finally whole again.