#even though it’s more that I don’t think Pete wrote much of that song AT ALL

[music-orthemisery]

Genuinely, like…pretty much all of my theories (aka delulus) around p2/fob could be proven completely wrong and I’d be like “huh…ok then!” I don’t live and die by my silly thoughts about men I don’t know. At the end of the day, it’s all just for funsies.

Unless it was that Patrick didn’t write the majority, if not all, of “Miss Missing You.” That would send me into a complete and total existential crisis.

[dbnightingale24]

You Didn't Have To Say Yes...

A Pete Brenner Love Story

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My first Patreon story!! I decided that Pete needs a love story, cause I feel like he gets shit on a lot. He's not a bad guy, he just has some...bad habits.

Thank you to everyone for your patience (once again), and I hope you all enjoy! As always, thank you to @fuckingbye for my amazing moldboard! I love it and I love you! I wrote this in a week (I don't know what's going on with my brain as of late), and I'm really excited for it!

Word Count: 49,380

Warnings: Pete Brenner, Smut, MINORS DNI 18+, Swearing, Daddy Kink, Drinking, Smoking, Drug Use, Angst, Self Hate, Semi-Public Sex (fingering), Open Marriage (Toxic Relationship), Abuse, Fluff, Family Drama, Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Abortion ...I think that's it? I'm pretty sure I covered all the bases...yeah

Songs That Inspired This Chapter: If You're Feeling Down, I Just Wanna Make You Happier Baby

Summary: Pete Brenner is perfectly fine with everyone continuing he's a selfish piece of shit. That is, until you walked into his life, and turned everything upside down.

~~

I do not give consent/permission for my stories/works to be posted elsewhere. I do not condone this type of behavior, this is for entertainment purposes only.

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“C’mon, give me a smile,” Pete beams, his words tailing a slight slur as you make someone else’s Manhattan.

“I think it’s time for you to go, Mr. Brenner,” you giggle dismissively, flipping your hair and shaking up the cocktail mixer.

“I wonder how much sweeter my name would sound if you were underneath me,” he grins and lifts his eyes at you. You ignore the heat in the pit of your stomach, not wanting to surrender to his smarmy charm.

Pete Brenner doesn’t give up easily, you’ll give him that. 

“I’m sure your wife is happy that you’re always here, trying to bring me home instead of spending time with her,” you nod with a glance towards his left hand. A waitress comes over, picking up the next round of drinks.

“I’ve told ya, she has her fun and I have mine.”

“Cause that’s what every woman loves to hear. Woo me even more, Brenner,” you laugh, turning around and getting started on the next drink.

“Your ass looks amazing in those shorts.”

You laugh as you call over your shoulder, “I’m ordering you a cab.”

“I can take myself,” he mutters with an exasperated sigh. You know he’s pulling out his wallet, frustrated that you’re not leaving with him again.

“We go through the same motions every time, Pete. I don’t want you driving home drunk.”

“You refuse to sleep with me, but you care about my well being? I think you’re finally startin’ to warm up to me.”

“I don’t sleep with married men, Pete. Find a new dream to chase. You know the drill, the cab will be here in ten.”

Pete Brenner came stumbling into your life about a year and a half ago, and he’s been a character since day one. He was down on his luck, drinking until he could barely stand, refusing help from anyone, always ending with the same mantra every night:

“I’ve made this fucking far on my own, I can make it to my own fucking house!”

No matter how much you pushed, he wouldn’t accept help from you. He always refused service from everyone except you. At first he didn’t say anything, he just watched you and let his eyes roam over your body. He never said out loud that he wanted you, but he didn’t exactly go out of his way to hide it either. He was so obvious he never needed to say it explicitly. The glint of his gold wedding band always caught your attention under the sparkling lights of the nightclub, but seeing as he spent every night there until closing, you didn’t think it made much of a difference.

Until one night, eight months ago.

“There she is! My favorite girl!” he beamed, a cocky smile cemented on his lips.

The woman sauntering next to him didn’t seem to think too highly of the nickname he called you. 

“I’ll take a bourbon, and this sweet little thing next to me will have a Strawberry Daiquiri,” he told you, though his eyes never left your chest.

“Oh? Wedding anniversary?” you half smiled as you tried to put on your workplace happy face even though you mentally thought to yourself ‘he can’t be that sleazy to bring her to this dump on their wedding anniversary.’

“Got a new job, sweetheart,” he smirked. You didn’t miss the mischievous shine in his eyes in the club’s half light.

He was a bold mother fucker to bring his wife along just to flirt with you in plain view of her. Not many men had that much audacity when it came to you. 

“I’m Y/N,” you offered with a smile.

You genuinely pitied the woman.

“Tina,” she responded with a plastic smile.

Big boobs, micro-waist, big fake blonde hair, and Pete had ordered her a strawberry daiquiri. She fit the description of most “Tina’s” that came into the club. However, the large rock on her ring finger was nothing to scoff at.

“Oh, don’t pout, honey,” Pete taunted her. “This is what you wanted, right? Me to get a brand new important job and show you off? That’s what you’ve been bitchin about for months, isn’t it? So smile, would ya? You got ya wish.”

Someone was feeling prickly that night.

“First round of drinks are on the house. Congrats, Pete,” you smiled as you set both drinks down.

“Keep ‘em comin’, sweetheart,” he winked at you, handing you a hundred.

While it may have not been anything new to you (Pete always tipped generously), Tina’s eyes went wide and you didn’t miss the way her cheeks burned and blushed with anger.

You wanted to stay as far away from them as the night allowed.

You happily took shots with some of your regulars as the night went on and evened out. Your friends started showing up for their shifts, which helped your sour mood from earlier in the day (even though your ex-fiancee showed up outside of your apartment to harass you yet again). The more you drank, the more you started to dance along with the music; which meant Pete couldn’t keep his gaze off you.

“Why are you single?” Pete asked once his wife got up to go to the bathroom.

“You don’t strike me as the cruel type, Mr. Brenner,” you grinned as you made him another drink.

“Curiosity doesn’t equate to cruelty.”“You’re still here with your wife.”

“She’s in the bathroom.”

“Why’d you bring her tonight?”

“You heard me, this is what she wanted,” he cynically scoffed.

“They’re a lot nicer clubs than this one.”

“Can’t all be that nice if you don’t work there, sweetie.”

You both looked at each other for a moment before you heard, “Darlin’!” coming from the other end of the bar.

“Comin’ Charlie,” you laughed, breaking the stare with him, and shook your head. You used the bar to push yourself off away, down to it’s other end while Pete sipped the last of his remaining drink.

You didn’t need glasses to see that Pete Brenner was an attractive man, and he was important...well, he did his best to imply his importance (as if it would get him far with you). You’d be a liar if you said you hadn’t thought about going a few rounds with him in the bedroom, but you didn’t sleep with married men. 

No matter how hard they tried, you had a set of both personal and professional rules that you abided by.

For the rest of the night, you stayed away from Pete and his wife unless they needed a refill. It was almost as if Tina was trying to make him regret his choice of celebration because she was throwing back her drinks like they were water. The night went smoothly enough, nevertheless, until you went outside for a smoke break.

“You should really quit those things,” came the voice of the last man you wanted to see or hear from.

“What do you want, Mark?”

“I come in peace, Sweet Thing,” he laughed, putting his hands up.

You’d always hated the nickname.

“Didn’t get enough arguing this morning? What else could you possibly have to say?” you questioned while you exhaled your frustration.

“You know you miss me, baby.”

“I miss the peace I had in my life before I met you.”

“You’re still working at this dump?”

“I have bills to pay.”

“You know I’d be more than happy to take care of you.”“Don’t want it. Nor do I want anything from you,” you snapped with a growl.

“Yet you drove yourself here in the car I bought for you,” he sneered, nodding in the direction of where the car was parked.

“Take the fucking car back then, Mark. If it means you’ll leave me the fuck alone, take back every single thing you ever gave me.”

Snickering, he made his way to you and grabbed your arm saying,“don’t be bitter when I know just how sweet you’re capable of being.”

With a scoff, you threw down your cigarette and bludgeoned it, “fuck this.”

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going? Enough with the goddamn attitude, Sweet Thing-”

“Let me go!”

“You’re coming with me-”

“Let her go!” you heard Pete yell as he quickly made his way over to you, leaving his wife to stumble to their car all alone.

She looked slack jawed from Pete to you, before her stare turned venomous and settled on you. It’s just what you needed on top of everything else; his prized Barbie play-toy thinking you were fucking her husband. 

Great.

~~

Read the rest of the story here

[nickgerlich]

Turn, Turn, Turn

I often go to the biblical well to find inspiration and pithy quotes. No, I don’t do this to promote a specific religion. It’s just that it is a fount of knowledge, the wisdom of the ages. While there are certainly other examples of Holy Writ, it is a source with which many are familiar regardless of belief.

One of my favorite aphorisms goes as follows: What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun. (Ecclesiastes 1:9) So impactful is this book that just a couple of chapters later, Pete Seeger found inspiration to write the classic song, Turn, Turn, Turn.

While scholars debate who wrote this book, let us not lose sight of the forest for the trees. Basically, what the writer is telling us is that, even more than two millennia ago, folks had realized that what goes around, comes around. And you thought our generation was the smartest one yet.

In marketing, we see this made manifest in the Wheel of Retailing theory, which posits that a revolution occurs with the arrival of a disruptor who does things differently, but as time passes, the disruptor starts adding back little things that, after time, begin to resemble that which it sought to replace. You go full circle.

George Orwell recognized this timeless truth in his allegorical novella Animal Farm, a fable in which the animals take over the farm. But over time, the pigs emerge as the ruling class, and before you know it, are wearing the farmer’s clothes, drinking his alcohol, and walking upright. In effect, they have become the farmer. Orwell, of course, was writing in shrouded terms about the Russian Revolution, but his point was not lost.

Today, we see this truth playing out in the streaming wars. The goal of streaming was to cut the cord and distance ourselves from all semblance of regular broadcast or cable television. It’s just that things are starting to look a lot like that which we left behind.

To wit: Amazon just announced it will start inserting ads in Prime Video starting next year. Following the lead of Hulu, they join Netflix, Disney+. Paramount+, Peacock, and Max, each of whom have stirred in ads in recent months. Their rationale is that it allows for tiered pricing, ostensibly making it more affordable to subscribe. In return for a cheaper price, we have to endure the ads.

Hey, at least Hulu has an ad timer on the top-right of the screen, so you know how long you’ve got to run to the bathroom and grab a snack.

Meanwhile, our streaming experience brings us right back to where we started. If you want to go ad-free, you’ll have to pony up even more money. So much for savings, right? Now that the screenwriters and production companies have settled their strike, I suspect we’ll see even higher fares in the future, and that will be even more true once the actors agree to a contract.

All of which means we will be back to our regular devices, which include muting the volume during the adverts, or leaving the room. Ad revenue was simply too good to turn down for the streamers as well, because the advertisers had to find a way to adapt. Since we weren’t watching TV the old way, they had money to redirect.

They found us.

The writer of Ecclesiastes was one smart person. It is hard to imagine biblical times having had the wherewithal to notice how things often do come back around. After all, they had no technology as we know it, were limited in geographical scope, and had no benefits of science. Yet here we are, and there they were.

Think about that the next time you tune in to your favorite streaming service. It was a nice walk around the block, and even though we thought we were part of a revolution, it turns out nothing really changed.

Dr “There Is A Season” Gerlich

Audio Blog

[fortunawren]

lyrics ii;

This could be a meditation practice, but honestly, I was just trying to pass the time when I wrote these.

I shuffled my playlist for this one.

“Ace of Hearts” by Zella Day

For me, it’s the opening of the song:

“Caught you at midnight Not in my right mind What you're afraid of Is where I just came from An ugly confession I think that I'm broken When I try to be open I get the feeling that I'm giving up on something I love, too much The sweetest misery that's taking me, I'm lost in the rush.”

“Official” by Charli XCX

I overplayed this song circa 2021 as if it was a lifeline. I have a fond memory of leaving the DMV after moving back to Charleston after five years and poorly belting out this song with my Honda windows down. (I miss my Honda sometimes, she was my baby)

*“Look at us Isn't it obvious? Is it so dangerous? Is it so complicated?

You know the shapes my body makes Under the sheets at 4 AM with you The things that we break when we're switching positions You know the words to my mistakes You understand because you made 'em too

The things that I say when you don't wanna listen Things that you say when I make bad decisions Things that we do by the sink in my kitchen I remember our first date No chocolate and no bouquet But the way that you kissed me These are the things that could make us official.”*

“Slide Away” by Miley Cyrus

Of course this song came out after Cyrus announced her divorce to Liam Hemsworth. I’ve always loved her voice.

“Once upon a time, it was made for us Woke up one day, it had turned to dust Baby, we were found, but now we're lost So it's time to let it go I want my house in the hills Don't want the whiskey and pills I don't give up easily But I don't think I'm down So won't you slide away Back to the ocean, I'll go back to the city lights So won't you slide away.”

“It’s Been Awhile” by Staind

This is a particularly triggering song for me but also a favorite lyrically. I was involved with SH as a young teenager and I would overplay this song to try to process my emotions and the trauma around me. As an adult, it speaks different volumes on addiction and accountability.

“Why must I feel this way? Just make this go away Just one more peaceful day And it's been awhile Since I could look at myself straight And it's been awhile Since I said I'm sorry And it's been awhile Since I've seen the way the candles light your face And it's been awhile But I can still remember just the way you taste And everything I can't remember As fucked up as it all may seem to be, and I know it's me I cannot blame this on my father He did the best he could for me”

“What If We Could” by Blue October

I always use this song in my manufactured intense romantic pairings as a writer. It’s sexy, it’s dark, it’s longing, and it’s a different version of love.

“It's like a last chance For a first dance You're a sunrise Can't somehow exist I would meet you Would you meet me? I'm glad to say that we've met But I'm sad to say that the circumstances weren't On our side So go on Go on be your own Go on be your own star A superstar in my eyes”

“papercuts” by Machine Gun Kelly

Don’t come for me (or do). I actually enjoy his music. The song that came up on my shuffle was the album version which is different from the single version in lyrics. He edited to add a small dig at Kanye West (👀👀) most likely in response to his friendship with Pete Davidson.

It’s definitely about the fine print of reading your contract, and understanding a life of fame. It serves as a cautionary tale.

“I spend a lot of nights thinking I might go to sleep and never wake up. I spend a lot of money on these therapy sessions Even though I'm not showing up I spend a lot of time healing my mind and my heart But I still put these drugs in my gut Me and my girl were just screaming at each other Right before we both got out of the truck I got some demons inside I'm tryna free them inside I'm from the Cleveland East Side Where the boy who was just starving with you Now might try to eat you alive, damn Y'all said that I switched genres I saw the limit and took it farther I'm a genius, could've made Donda But this song is for my dead father”

I’ll probably do this again.

(Plot twist: I did)

[harlowsbby]

nadia !!! okay sooo yk how ari did the pete davidson song ( i still think she should’ve called it soulmate but we move 😅) lol but can you maybe write about jack and singer!reader being together for a couple of months and she adds a song about jack to her new album and it’s titled with jack’s name ? i think that would be amazing he would get all shy like “this is about me? for real ?”🥺

Soulmate and Always 🤍🌙

“Wow this album is truly going to be one of them ones and you know how crazy the world is going to be seeing that you have a song titled after Jack.” Your manger Olivia told you and you smiled and nodded, Jack was one of your biggest fans he loved you so much and he never failed to show you that so you dedicated a song on your album named after Jack.

It was just a little one minute and a few seconds type of song nothing really to big or serious but you poured your heart out into it and Jack was stopping by the studio to listen to the album before you released it.

You were a bit nervous and butterflies were flying around your stomach, you were nervous on what Jack’s reaction would be would he love the song or would he find it weird and creepy because he had no idea about the song.

You were getting the song set up and ready before you got call from Jack.

“Hi baby”

“Hi baby girl I just got to the studio I’m heading inside right now.” He spoke into the phone and you nodded even though he couldn’t see you.

“Is that Jack? Is he almost here? Oh shit okay I’ll go hide somewhere in the building well not hide you know what I’ll just leave the room.” You laughed at Olivia because she was honestly so insane and wild sometimes but you loved her so much.

You quickly got the song and sighed in relief and it was perfect timing too because in came Jack.

“Well hello beautiful I missed seeing that beautiful face all day.” You smiled and leaned into his touch as his arms wrapped around your waist.

“So what’s up baby why am I here?” He took a seat in one of the leather chairs as you brought the computer closer to him.

“So you know how much I truly love and appreciate you so much.” You teased on and his eyebrow lifted in curiosity.

“Go on..”

“Well I wrote a song about you it’s titled well Jack Harlow.” His eyes shot open in surprise because the two of you both agreed on keeping your relationship private because we can all agree that his fans got a bit too much at times and just for peace of mind keeping your relationship a secret was needed.

“So just sit back and listen.” You grinned and pressed play on the song before taking a seat on his lap, your arms resting around his shoulders while he rested his head on your chest.

“Pull up pull up on me might recline when I want it, give you a set of keys cause you own it. Baby I’m sold on you so I don’t ever gotta test drive nothing.” Your voice sang through the entire room and Jack grinned before looking up at you and wiggling his eyebrows around making you snort at how goofy he was.

“You’re my soulmate and all that I’m like ooh ooh my whole life got me ready for you.” You sang to Jack and his face started getting red.

“This is really about me? Are you serious baby.” You bit your lip nervously you weren’t sure if he liked it or not.

“Do you like it?”

“I don’t like it.. I love it baby girl thank you so much.” Jack grabbed your face with his hands gently and ran his thump across your bottom lip before brining you in for a kiss, you both smiled into the kiss before pulling away.

“Well before things get more serious I suggest we take this home and not on your managers couch.” You laughed but nodded before heading back home to show Jack just how much more you loved and appreciated him.

[mayyourshipsbewithyou]

Things I loved about In the Heights

-The sounds of the city are part of the music of the opening song

-The frame story is the only way this story should be told; the story only works if it shows the results of Usnavi's decision to stay

-Anthony and Lin shaking hands

-Yay to random mixed race couple asking for directions

-“I hope you’re writing this down I’m gonna test you later” only makes sense with kids

-Showing different residents of Washington Heights provides scale

-I’m not sure about the decision to cut Camila, but if it means less Nina drama, then I love it

-I love how Usnavi has his friends’ orders all ready to go

-LOVE how Usnavi announces Benny’s entrance

-Everything about Vanessa in this movie is perfect=> she’s given so much more depth, her beauty is downplayed, she’s kind of a nerd, but has a beautiful smile

-Nina’s heels=> metaphor for her reaching for the stars

-I love the actress that plays Nina; she’s the right age and her singing voice is so sweet

-Nina’s hair is straight when she’s at school; as soon as she comes home, it’s curly=>she can be herself at home

-When Nina turns around and sees the crowd of people counting on her=> I felt that

-I love seeing Nina get her acceptance letter; I remember what that was like for my brother

-Camila must have died while Nina was at college in this version; Nina lost her mother recently which helps explain her different reason for dropping out; she feels lost

-I don’t know why Sonny is using this deep voice, but I love it!

-Whoever decided to have 96,000 take place at the pool is a genius

-The graphics at the beginning of 96,000 are good for helping regular people understand the rap

-Pete just put his arm around Sonny=> are they dating?

-Sonny yelling 96,000 as he enters the pool=> the sound design

-Pete nodding along to Usnavi=> sucking up to the family

-Usnavi is such a proud cousin-uncle during Sonny’s part in 96,000

-Vanessa making her “I'll be downtown” walk down a ramp

-The dancer doing flips is now a diver doing spins into the pool

-On stage, the lighting was dark; in the movie, it’s underwater

-The circles of people in the pool reflect the zeros in 96,000

-Lin and Chris being rivals is perfect; their bromance is everything

-Nina and Benny being together before the events of the movie means they are the beta couple and have less drama than Usnavi/Vanessa which is how it should be

-Benny joins in during “on that fire escape”=> like West Side Story

-Benny’s “Let me in” against the fence is hilarious

-Nina and Benny are FUN, not angsty like in the original

-Nina following the little girl=> following herself, following her dreams which eventually lead her to the sea; all of this is done while she’s talking about her past

-Nina and Benny instrumental™ part 1 in the middle of “When You’re Home”, Benny interrupts=> their story isn't complete yet

-Benny says he believes in her without discounting her feelings

-Everyone loving Nina=> I finally get it

-Nina is home geographically and with people who love her

-Benny is Nina’s home

-In the Heights is about how dreams are great, but the life you have now can be so beautiful

-Nina’s hair during the dinner/club scene is great

-Usnavi is wearing his dad’s hat for his date with Vanessa; he knows that she is to him what his mom was for his dad

-Family dinners are the same in every culture

-Awkwardness of long-time friends going on a date

-Vanessa offers Usnavi his first drink of the night; he thinks that’s what she wants; because why would she want him and only him?

-Usnavi whispering in Vanessa’s ear is so sexy

-Love that Benny is on Nina’s side instead of being mad at her

-I wonder if they thought 5 years of Benny working for Kevin was too much or too little since they changed that line to "all these years"

-Benny’s reactions to Vanessa dancing at the club are hilarious

-Vanessa laughing at Usnavi dancing with someone else

-Nina is always smiling and laughing at the things going on around her; not as self centered

-Nina and Benny dancing at the club=> all of the yeses

-Usnavi is too nervous about being alone with Vanessa that he un-dated himself; he wasn’t quite ready

-Love that they consciously cut all the “Usnavi, help me” parts=> Vanessa is not a victim

-Fireworks are a romantic setting for Sonny and Pete, just saying

-Usnavi/Benny/Nina talking about the fourth member of their square gives me feelings; I need more of these four in fanfic, my dreams

-“I got to wait for Vanessa”=> the stuff dreams are made of

-Benny is such a good person; he’s even better than the original which is what he deserves

-Usnavi is relieved to have Vanessa call his name

-“Don’t walk away from us tonight”=> great addition

-To give Usnavi and Vanessa some of Nina and Benny’s original lines is to see the face of God

-The first time I saw this, I’m ashamed to admit, I thought Benny was going to steal money from the dispatch; I was a fool

-Dancer with fireworks on his shoes

-Benny is smart and good; he isn’t doing this for Kevin or Nina but for the people of New York

-Abuela was able to see stars again on the last night of her life

-I’m sad Blackout isn’t exactly the same but the orchestral parts that cover up what is unsaid is so beautiful it makes up for it

-Abuela’s family is her “fireworks”; they are what light up the Heights

-Sonny came to Usnavi instead of being with his dad during the blackout; his real family

-Abuela’s smile as she looks at her family while reflecting on her childhood is the most beautiful thing there will ever be

-Paciencia y Fe as a dream sequence is how it was meant to be

-The transition on the subway from reality to memory

-Paciencia y Fe is a mixture of cultures; like Abuela’s memories

-“Wide awake”=> stepping off the subway

-The same actress played Abuela on Broadway and in the movie

-Abuela may be in a musical, but she’s still an old woman

-“As I feed these birds”=> back to the present

-Calor means heat in Spanish but in English it sounds like color

-Abuela dying during the night of the blackout is perfect

-Usnavi saying “she was just here” twice: when she was literally just there and many years, maybe a decade, after the fact

-Usnavi’s daughter is the life that goes on after Abuela is gone

-Usnavi and Nina crying together

-Those closest to Abuela are inside and everyone else is outside

-Iris was sitting on the outside and now she’s in the middle; needed comfort from her friends

-“Should we take a break?”=> we’re past the point of an intermission

-“No daddy, keep going”=> does this look like a stage production to you? It’s a fucking movie

-There isn’t a clear point for an intermission; the action stays strong over where the intermission should be; this is a movie, not a play, and movies don’t have intermissions

-Everyone’s holding candles; like the stars Abuela loved so much

-Iris called Usnavi Daddy for the first time because that was the point in the story where he needed to hear that the most

-“I thought about the people I care about the most, I thought about you”

-Anthony makes Usnavi sexy in a way Lin never could

-So many people love Vanessa, but no one better than Usnavi

-Abuela paid to have Camila's napkins cleaned after all

-Usnavi is the kind of parent that doesn’t sugarcoat life

-Vanessa listed no emergency contacts even though she had people

-“That’s senorita to you”=> yes girl, get it

-Love Daniela for getting everyone out of their asses

-“Tonteria” means foolishness=> the more you know

-How fast Carla says no to “ask me why” shows how quickly she wants to please her love

-Usnavi’s Nueva York t-shirt=> I need it

-Daniela’s first effect being on a woman whose hair is terrible

-Carla pushing that man away from her woman with a bullshit excuse

-My friend was laughing at the parts that were meant to be jokes

-Usnavi’s entrance being announced in Carnaval del Barrio; just like Benny in the opening song

-“There’s nothing holding me down”=> assuming he was rejected

-The different communities dancing with their flags

-Nina being part of Carnaval del Barrio is great

-Even Kevin, kind of an old man, can get down

-Since Nina and Benny sex scene wasn’t shown on screen (praise Jesus), I have to assume Nina told Daniela even though she knows she’s a huge gossip

-Everyone stops because Sonny, a kid, starts singing

-Vanessa and Sonny are so powerful together

-Vanessa’s hand on Sonny’s shoulder

-A kid providing Usnavi with the “flag I’ve got in my hand”

-Usnavi and Vanessa dancing together is muy romantico

-Everything about Nina’s appearance in “When the Sun Goes Down”

-“Let me just listen to my block”=> peak Nina

-Abuela wrote “for Usnavi” on her lotto ticket 😭

-They cut so many songs but kept Champagne=>I love their priorities

-The pause before “you outta stay”

-Everyone has such great chemistry; especially Usnavi and Vanessa

-The choreography in Champagne is what I’ve always imagined

-Usnavi didn’t have time to cash in because Vanessa came over

-Vanessa and Pete friendship for the win

-“Best days of my life” is said thrice=> good things come in threes

-Usnavi staring at the room where Vanessa kissed him

-Iris knows he stayed; she loves her dad so much

-Usnavi looking out his window in Washington Heights and seeing his friends on his dad’s beach

-When Usnavi talks about Kevin at the dispatch, the camera flashes to an abandoned building

-“Vanessa at the salon”=> Usnavi sheds a tear

-Vanessa being front and center during Usnavi’s decision to stay

-Hearing the sounds of the beach during the unveiling

-It’s all about Vanessa=> perfection

-Lin being at the ending is perfect no matter the context

-“Say it so it doesn’t disappear”=> the sad reality is your neighborhood probably will disappear

-Usnavi telling his daughter “you’re it” is everything

-Iris understanding all of the little details of her father’s store now that she knows his story

-Iris is the goddess of the rainbow like the light that appears when water appears on a sunlit day

-“Man, you talk forever”=> that’s so “How I Met Your Mother”

-Iris has a necklace of seashells, like the islands

-Vanessa would sooner get wet than let go of Usnavi’s hand

[hangovercurse]

Our Song

At the last show of his tour, Kells invites you on stage for a duet, but it turns into a bit more than that.

Request: “Can you do one where the reader and Colson both are music artist. I know you're doing this with "The Thing We Can't Tell Pete about. But with this one they have been dating for a while and while they are in the middle of the song Colson decides to announce they're dating and gives her a kiss in front of the crowd, and the reader is just in shock. However it ends it up to you. Love ya!!!!!!!!”

Colson Baker x Reader

Warnings: implied smut/ mentions of sex, cursing

A/N: So, I used my own lyrics in here because why not (sue me I guess)

Word Count: 2326

The last two months had been absolute hell on Earth. Yes, you loved your job. Recording your third studio album was exciting but being busy all the time was exhausting. On top of that, your boyfriend being off on tour meant you hadn’t seen him in person in two months, which was driving you even more insane.

It also meant you hadn’t had sex in almost two months.

You’d called each other every night, even if you were both drunk off your asses or faded beyond belief. It had become your routine; get home from the studio, grab something to eat, then hop into the bath and facetime your blond boyfriend.

Tonight, was no exception, but the energy on the call was different. Colson was coming home tomorrow. Granted, he would be going straight to the venue for his concert, but he’d be here.

“You’re still coming tomorrow, right princess?” He asked, a joint hanging from his lips.

You smiled, nodding, “I haven’t seen you in two months. If I’m not there, you should assume I’m dead.”

He chuckled, “good.” He hesitated before continuing, “I was thinking you could perform with me. We haven’t performed White Sea in like a year.”

You bit your lip at the thought of performing with him again. He was right, after you’d finished live performance promo for the song, neither of you had performed it together. “Yeah, I’m down.”

The song was the first one you’d written together; it was actually the whole reason you’d met. “You don’t think people will get suspicious though? I mean, people are already catching on. I feel like performing it out of the blue would add fire to the flames.”

He thought about it, the wheels turning in his head. “I think it’ll be fine. Besides, it’s not exactly a secret.”

You nodded, “I know, we’ve just never really talked about telling people.” The last two words came out softer than you had intended.

Colson and you had been together for a year and still hadn’t officially told anyone outside of your closest circles. You liked the privacy, and getting the media involved always caused problems. So, you kept it to yourself. People saw you out together, but nothing had been confirmed.

Colson left the conversation there, not having a good answer. You had both agreed a long time ago that if people figured it out or someone slipped up and told you would be okay with it, and you would. You just didn’t think it was a big deal if people knew or not.

He started talking about his day on tour, the crowd he’d played to tonight. You told him about the song you were working on. Eventually he got called away by the boys.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, babe.” He smiled at you through your phone.

You smiled, “You better. I-“ You almost slipped up. Almost said those three words so casually. But you’d caught yourself. “I can’t wait.” You covered.

He gave you a small wave before your screen went back, the sound of the line disconnecting ringing through your bathroom. You put your phone on the floor next to the tub, leaning your head back and sighing.

You don’t know why it worried you so much. You knew you loved him, and you were pretty sure he loved you too. There was just something about saying out loud that scared the hell out of you.

 The next day was amazing. As soon as he texted you that he’d gotten to the venue, you were rushing to meet him there. When you stepped into the green room where he was, he ran up to you and grabbed you by your waist. Your arms went around his neck, legs around his as he lifted you up, burying his face into your shoulder.

“I missed you so much.” He mumbled into your skin. Your hands tangled themselves in his hair, holding him closely.

“I missed you too.” You whispered. He lifted his head up and pressed a deep kiss to your lips as your feet came down to touch the floor again. His lips were so familiar, it felt like the world had shifted back into place when you felt them on yours.

He pulled away, forehead and nose still pressed against yours. Your hands travelled from his neck to his shoulders, rubbing the fabric of his t-shirt. “I didn’t think I was gonna survive another night without you.” You said with a slight giggle, making him laugh.

“Well now you don’t have to worry about that.” He said, pressing a peck to your lips.

Before you could pull him back to your lips, your moment was interrupted. “We get it, you guys are cute. Whatever. Can we get hugs from our favorite girl?” Irv joked, pulling your attention to the group of guys near the couches in the room.

One of the things you loved most about being with Colson was how accepting his friends were of you. Slim and you had bonded over your love of music production and mixing, Baze had taught you some more complicated bass riffs, and Rook was your designated adventure buddy (after Colson, of course). You felt lucky that your boyfriend’s family had taken you in as one of their own.

You ran over to them, giving each of the guys a hug. When you hugged Ashleigh, she whispered in your ear, “don’t ever leave me alone with these lunatics again.” You both giggled at that, leaving the boys confused.

After messing around backstage for a while and catching up with your friends (mostly from the comfort of Colson’s lap), it was time for the guys to perform. You set up your spot side-stage with Ash, Irv, and Andre, excited to see the set.

Before he went on, Colson came over to you and pulled you in for a very giddy kiss. Pre-show Colson was your favorite Colson, except for maybe post-show Colson, only because he was so excitable. Every time you sat show side, he demanded you give him a good luck kiss. No matter who was watching.

Watching him was magical, in fact watching all the boys was magical. The way their passion showed through the music and the performance was something that not many other artists could perfect. You felt like you’d never match their level of performing.

When Colson brought out his acoustic guitar and two bar stools, you were a bit taken aback. Normally his shows were so high energy that he never wanted to sit down, even during the slower songs. It wasn’t really his style.

“I wanted to bring out a very special guest today to help slow this down a bit.” He said to the crowd as they screamed. “I haven’t performed this song in a very long time, but I figured today would be the perfect time to do it.”

He looked over at you, a smile on his face. It finally registered in his mind that he was talking about your song. Luckily, you’d had ears put in at the beginning of the show, so that wasn’t an issue. One of the venue’s techs handed you a microphone and signaled you to go on stage.

Once you came in view of the audience they erupted into another round of cheers, making you smile. Colson met you halfway and pulled you in for a sweaty hug. He led you over to the chairs, letting you sit down while he adjusted his mic stand. “For those of you who don’t know, not that there should be anyone who doesn’t know who this is, but just in case, this is Y/S/N. We wrote this song a little over a year ago today.”

You smiled as he started to strum the familiar intro, the lights dimming just a little bit.

Drownin’ in empty space.

You started singing.

Don’t even know my name

Feels like you’re miles away

Close my eyes, see your face

It’s okay

Rook brought the drum beat in as Colson smiled at you, his verse starting

Yeah

I was drownin’ in this darkness

Feeling like I was so heartless

All these drugs makin things harder

They tried to turn me to a martyr

You loved watching him party on stage, but you loved watching this side of him, too. Completely stripped down and raw. Hearing him rap the words you wrote together made your heart flutter, even if you’d written them so long ago.

I can’t handle shit I’m just a man

I tried to tell ‘em, they don’t understand

Riptide’s pulling me away from land

I couldn’t stand till you reached out your hand

And now I can.

The rest of the music came in, the sounds mixing as you began the chorus.

Drownin’ in empty space

Don’t even my name

Feels like you’re miles away

Close my eyes, see your face

The key raised.

Out on the open sea

Feel your eyes watching me

Wanted to fall asleep

Now I believe.

The music kept playing, but Colson’s rap didn’t enter like it was supposed to. Instead, he just looked at you, a fond smile on his face. You tilted your head, questioning him, but he just placed his guitar on the ground and kept looking at you.

“I just want to let everyone here know, that today is my one-year anniversary with this amazing woman right here.” He said into the mic, causing the audience to burst into screams. Your jaw dropped, eyes widening.

He caught your expression and laughed but kept going. “It wasn’t a secret that we’ve been together, but we’ve been quiet about it. But I mean, like, fuck that shit. When you’re in love you should tell everyone, right?”

You smiled at him, your heart picking up speed. “And Y/N I am so fucking in love with you.”

You looked down, trying to hide the heat on your cheeks and the idiotic grin you were sporting. You had never expected this from him. “Like, seriously, this past year has been the best year of my life. Even when we aren’t together you are the one thing that I look forward to the most, every day. You are one of the best things in my life, and I want everyone to know that.”

During his little monologue he had walked over to your chair and pulled you up into his arms. You nuzzled your face into his bare chest, making him laugh. He pulled the microphone away from you both so it wouldn’t pick up your conversation.

“Hey, look at me.” He said softly and you complied. “I love you.”

You had tears in your eyes as you studied his perfect features, “I love you, too.” You whispered. “I’ve wanted to tell you for a while I just…”

“I know, princess.” He smiled, leaning down and pressing your lips together in a sweet, passionate kiss. The audience erupted in applause, cheers, and awes. “Are you gonna say anything?” He asked once you’d pulled away, motioning to the audience with a smile on his face. You shook your head, burying it back in his chest and laughing. He spoke into the microphone, “she got all shy now.”

The crowd laughed with him, shouting supportive comments at you both. “But she said she loves me too so that’s all that matters.” He continued, earning even more cheers.

 After the show, Colson came backstage and immediately attached his lips to yours, hands holding you close. You pulled him into one of the unused dressing rooms, mouths never leaving each other. He hoisted you onto the counter, standing in between your legs, and leaned your back against the mirror.

Finally, he released your lips from his, making you whine. “I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you about all this, but after last night I couldn’t keep it a secret anymore. And you just looked so pretty out there that I-“ You cut him off with a kiss, lips moving together slowly.

He chuckled as you pulled away. “Colson, I loved it. I was hella embarrassed because the first time you told me you loved me was in front of thousands of people, but I loved it. And I love you.”

He smiled, pressing a peck to your lips. “How much do you love me?” He asked, slyly.

You raised an eyebrow at him, knowing something was up. “Depends on your next statement.”

A laugh fell from his mouth as he reached into his pocket, pulling out a small rectangular box. “Because I really hope it’s a lot.”

“What are you doing?” You asked him, giggling.

He lifted the lid off of the box to reveal a key with your first initial painted on one side and a C on the other. “You don’t have to, but if you wanted to maybe think about moving in with me, now you have a key.” He smiled as you took the metal in your hands.

You looked up at him with wide eyes, lips open in shock. “So, you’re asking me to move in with you?” You confirmed.

“Only if you want to. But yes.”

You smiled, looking back down to the key and then up to his face before pressing a passionate kiss to his lips. Your arms went around his neck and his hands went to your waist. “Of course, I want to, dummy.” You giggled and reconnected your lips.

“We’re supposed to go out and celebrate the last night of tour tonight, you’re gonna come, right?” He asked and you rolled your eyes.

“You act like I don’t wanna be around you.” You pushed his chest playfully. “But we might be a couple minutes late.” You smirk.

Colson raised an eyebrow, “oh yeah? And why is that?”

Instead of responding you just giggled and pulled him back into a kiss.

[adorethedistance]

Only Need Five - Owen Patrick Joyner x Reader High School!AU

JATP masterlist

GIF CREDIT: @satisfiedschuyler​

Part 1

Warnings: swearing, implied intercourse (ANFIOUEFIUYWEG), teasing remarks

Words: 1989

Summary: Breaking up with your boyfriend proves difficult when he follows you to your after-breakup plans. Owen puts you at ease and performs a less than innocent song he wrote about your chemistry together.

A/N: This is not a smut but it has adult themes so let’s say pg-13 but with multiple fucks instead of the allotted 1. Also doesn't he just look so good in this gif? Next on the agenda is either a cute Hockey!Charlie fluff or a prince!Charlie fic with hella sexual tension. Then! A request! Owen x reader prom smut >:).

“Was it something I did?” I tuck my bottom lip between my teeth, unsure how to respond. Owen and I were pretty... busy... the entire evening so I never actually got the time to think about what I wanted to say to let Peter down easy.

“Kind of… after you started talking about plans for my birthday tomorrow, it made me realize that you don’t actually know me. Or at least, the little things about me and it means a lot to me for someone to take the time to understand little things like my likes and dislikes. You know?”

“I guess… So, what now? Are we just completely done?” I nod a small yes. It makes me sad to break things off directly to his face, but what’s picking at my brain is the haziness of yesterday’s… events. I sent that text and immediately fucked Owen afterward. I mean we were technically broken up but I feel shitty about how quick I was to move on.

“There’s someone else, isn’t there?” shit. Should I lie? Is it better to just tell the truth and move on?

“Why do you ask?”

“You’re too dressed up to just be meeting me for a burger tonight.”

“I’m going to a... local show.” That’s not a lie.

“Radical Dreams?” I hesitate to nod once more, hoping he doesn’t connect any more dots. After a brief moment of silence, Peter speaks up resiliently “...I’m going, too.”

“You are?”

“Yeah, I saw the flyer in the hallway and figured why not… support our local amateur rock band?” He definitely wasn’t planning on going, but whatever. It’s not like we’ll have to sit near each other or anything.

“Well, I’m actually gonna be late if I don’t leave soon. Is there, uh, is there anything else you wanted to ask?” Peter shakes his head ‘no’ and when I rise from the table he abruptly stands after me.

I was strategic enough to meet him a block from the venue. So it’s a quick two minute walk to get there. I didn’t anticipate Peter lying about planning to see the show though, so as I begin the brief walk, he’s only a few feet behind me the whole time, loitering. Showing the bouncer my ticket and ID, he marks the back of my hand with a black sharpie and lets me in the pub.

Much to my surprise, the guys are all hanging around the edge of the stage as people file in. Being in a band while also being in high school doesn’t make you insanely famous and untouchable, so they’re still able to hang out out front which is great for me at least. Upon seeing me, Owen’s face lights up with a smile and he waves me over to where he’s sitting on the apron of the stage.

He looks amazing as usual but something about this outfit is immaculate. I love his usual tattered denim but the clean appearance of this jacket is also wonderful, and I’ll have to steal it sometime. The gold chain is always a weakness I’ll admit, and I know it’s just a simple graphic tee but it’s Owen’s simple graphic tee. As I approach the boy to stand with my hips pressed against the stage between his dangling legs, he speaks,

“I almost didn’t recognize you in this outfit. What kind of double life are you leading with this ‘student by day, badass by night’ getup?”

“Oh hush, I look the same as always.”

“The sweatshirt and blue jeans uniform begs to differ,” his eyes sparkle as they gaze into mine, “You look great.”

“Thank you,” my smile is as bright as ever, and the compliment makes my face grow warm. However my joy seemingly wavers when I realize that Peter is probably glaring daggers at me from behind. Owen takes note of my discomfort, and with a single glance behind my nervous figure, he clocks Peter’s presence in the venue.

“Come on,” he says, leading me into the backstage area.

Once we’re alone he confesses, “I wrote a song about you.” I can’t resist the urge to stop myself from tucking a loose strand of Owen’s hair out of his face as he speaks.

“You did?”

“Uh huh. And I made the guys practice all day so we could open with it tonight.”

“What kind of song is it?”

He proceeds to tell me about the rock and roll number he threw together in just a few hours due to how he derived inspiration from last night's events. My eyes widen in an amused sense of confusion.

“Just how derived exactly?”

“You’ll see.”

“Owen!” Both of our heads turn in the direction of the voice to find Charlie lifting the strap of his guitar over his head. Jeremy does the same but Taylor simply slings the guitar around his chest to hold the instrument across his back.

“I gotta go,” Owen states the obvious, nervously rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. He hesitates, not making any move to go on stage as I anticipated him to.

“What are you doing?”

“I think I need some kind of good luck from you if I’m gonna kill it out there, dollface.”

“You’re such a loser,” I say as sincerely as I can manage before rising up on my toes to place a kiss on Owen’s cheek. “I’ll stand in the front so you can look at me when you get nervous.”

“How considerate of you.”

“Now go before Charlie bites your head off!”

Owen runs onto the stage to take his place behind his drum kit. He looks into the wings to shoot me a cheeky wink and I suppress a smile before heading back out into the crowd.

Once I’m standing in front of the stage, I turn my head to look into the crowd. It’s pretty big for a band hardly anyone has heard of, but small for the general size of LA. I kind of prefer it this way. Instead of being packed into a venue I get to relax and know the band more intimately. Granted I’m a little less relaxed with Peter so fixated on me but I’ll get lost in the music eventually.

“I wanna thank every single one of you guys for coming to see us play. We are Radical Dreams, and this first song is called ‘Y/n’. Please enjoy, ” Charlie as the frontman introduces the set. Owen counts them in and the band kicks to life with a killer rock melody. I’m pleasantly surprised to learn Owen is on lead vocals for the song.

“Hey pretty girl, did you know you’re all I think about? I guess I’ve got it kinda bad Wanna scream it from the rooftops, shout it out Wanna make her boyfriend mad I wonder how he’ll react when I tell him that,” my jaw slightly drops as I hear the song for the first time. How much further is he gonna go?

“I fucked his girlfriend and now she’s mine I’m willing to give her all my time. Maybe you should have thought of that long before she slipped away.” Oh he really wasn’t kidding when he said these lyrics were derived from last night. Alex is wailing on his drums with a passion that only a true musician would possess. The killer guitar melody lifts the severity of the lyrics and I’m no longer afraid of what Peter may think; the heavy bass is reminiscent of my preexisting music taste, I can tell he sampled a bunch of different basslines to figure out a line for the song and holy shit did the hard work pay off.

“I fucked your girlfriend and now she’s mine I’m gonna give her all my time. You should’ve thought of that before she learned she liked me better anyway.”

I find myself captivated by how well the lyrics work sonically, and before I know it, the song comes to a close. The boys launch right into another song and another and another until their set finally comes to a close. I’m on such an adrenaline high with them and as Charlie tosses his guitar pick to a group of girls off stage right, I make my way backstage to greet them.

“That was insane!” I tell Taylor and Charlie when they’re off the stage.

“We couldn’t have done it without our muse in the front row.” Taylor is such a charmer I feel my cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

“I’m guessing Owen told you everything about yesterday…?” I ask, not sure if I want an honest answer.

“A little too in depth if you ask me,” Jeremy chimes in which causes all four of us to laugh through the awkwardness.

“Owen’s usually pretty closed off when it comes to relationships, but when he was telling us about you, we couldn’t get him to shut up.”

“I mean, I’m not that special.”

“Maybe he was just on a high from no longer being a virgin.” The four of us are practically crying with laughter when Owen finally approaches the group.

“What are you guys laughing about?” He asks but immediately abandons the question when he spots me standing among the three of them, “Y/n!” He’s practically beaming.

In a flurry of adrenaline, sweat, and joy, Owen pulls me into a hug and lifts me off my feet to twirl us in a circle. The action causes me to squeal in excitement before he finally sets me down.

“How’d we do?”

“It was incredible, Owen.”

“And the song I wrote… what did you think...?” he asks hesitantly.

“I thought it was very bold to tell my ex to his face that we fucked.” Owen blushes pink which I can see even in the dim lighting of the backstage area.

“I thought it might be too much but Charlie assured me I should write from what I feel so…”

“Well, I liked it.”

“Good, ‘cause it’s about you.” I breathe out a small laugh which causes Owen to smile back. “It’s true, though. I meant what I said--or I guess, sang.”

“About how you fucked me?”

“Well, that…” Owen nervously messes with the drumsticks in his hands. “And that I want you to be mine… that is, if you want to. Because if you don’t want to then that’s fine I don’t want to be one of those guys who ‘claims’ girls because that’s not cool and you’re your own person and-” To put him out of his misery and stop the rambling, I bunch the collar of Owen’s shirt in my right hand, and place the left on the back of his neck to pull him in for a kiss. His final words are muffled as his lips begin moving against mine, deepening the kiss like we didn’t just fuck each other twelve hours ago.

“Get a room!” Taylor groans, making Owen and I laugh into our shared kiss. I lean my head down to rest the crown against Owen’s chest, in hopes of concealing my embarrassment.

“And use protection. Our careers are just taking off, we don't need to lose a drummer to fatherhood just because you two couldn’t keep it in your pants.” Charlie’s addition makes me cover my face with my hands, but Owen only laughs harder. He then wraps an arm around my shoulders and uses the other to cradle my head against his sweaty torso.

“You’re just jealous because I’m the one getting laid for once and you’re not.”

“Owen, shut up!” I scold through an unconcealable smile. He leans down to press a kiss on the top of my head before whispering so only I can hear.

“What do you say we make use of the dressing room for a little bit?”

“Don’t they need you guys packed up and gone, like, right now?”

“I only need five minutes.”

***

Taglist: @caitsymichelle13 @kaitlyn2907 @itz-jas @crybabyddl @kcd15 @kinda-really-lost @calamitykaty @morganayennefertyrell @n0wornever @yikesgillespie @dream-a-little-bigger-x @mrstodorooki @vicesvsvirturesfanfic @curlybrownhairedboys @amazinggracy @dmcfarland1​

[teddy-bear-surprise]

𝐃𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐞

You can read this story on AO3 or Wattpad too!

Peter Parker X Fem Reader

Description: A Pinch of Angst, Soft Peter Parker, Wholesome Peter Parker, Comforting Peter Parker… It’s a cute story, that’s basically it. Based on post-Far From Home but without the Daily Bugle incident. Spoiler alert: you’re Peter’s girlfriend… Just kidding that wasn’t a spoiler. But that’s basically all the backstory you need. Pls enjoy

Word Count: 5.6K

I would also like to take a moment to recommend the song "Down The Line" by José González since it's what inspired this story.

Before Peter left for his Summer class trip, he was the happiest kid in the world. Or, as happy as any kid whose father figure just died in an intergalactic battle could be. He could barely go one sentence without mentioning how “awesome” it would be to visit Europe. He and Ned had literally stayed up until 3 in the morning– more than once –because they couldn’t stop talking about Europe. He wanted to go on this trip so badly that he packed his bags a week early, which you and May knew was unprecedented for Peter. 

Honestly, everything seemed perfect. You and May dropped him off early at the airport, he remembered to bring his passport, and Ned brought snacks for the both of them. It all went as smoothly as it could, especially considering that you all woke up half an hour late because Peter made (and presented) a 59-slide Powerpoint presentation about Europe the night before his flight. 

The second Peter passed airport security, he started sending you photos of him hanging out with Ned. You saw the airport, and Europe, through Peter’s eyes. It was like seeing the world painted with brighter and newer colors, but it also could’ve been that hideous filter he puts on all of his photos. Still, you had never seen him so excited to be outside of Queens. 

Almost immediately after he got to Europe, Peter’s photos started coming in less frequently, his texts grew shorter, and his voice wavered on the phone. You knew all about the battles against inter-dimensional monsters, the entire world knew. He was undoubtedly tired after such big fights, and you stupidly thought that was the only reason he had been acting differently. You thought he was just tired. You thought he was just busy. You thought he was just having fun. It turns out, you were just plain wrong . 

  The airport doors slid open, and you saw Peter walk out as he waved goodbye to Ned. Aunt May stood excitedly beside you and waved her homemade sign at Peter who would never need any sign to recognize the two of you. He jogged over, and you rushed to meet him, embracing him in a tight hug. He nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck and held you for what felt like an eternity. You rubbed small circles on Peter’s back, beyond relieved to see him again. May walked up and tapped Peter on the shoulder, giving him a playful look that said, “I can’t believe you hugged your significant other before you hugged me.” The two reunited, and May pestered him with a neverending stream of questions. Peter answered each one as vividly as possible, leading you to think that the change that happened while he was in Europe was all in your head. 

But when May joked about Peter’s lost luggage, you noticed something. He flinched. For a second, you couldn’t understand why Peter would be so upset about some lost luggage, but then you realized it. He had taken his Uncle Ben’s luggage with him to Europe, one of the last memories he had of Ben, and now it was gone. So though May couldn’t seem to care any less, you acknowledged that grief looked different for everyone.

Admittedly, Ben’s burnt bags weren’t the only thing bothering Peter. He seemed to let his guard down every few minutes, and the exhaustion, sadness, and despair would seep from his wide eyes. Peter didn’t seem to care that you could see, and maybe this was his way of asking you for help. But whenever May would glance at Peter through the rearview mirror, his walls would build right up again– turning him into a hollow, empty puppet with a smile plastered on its face. 

The whole ride home, you had to sit there and pretend you couldn’t tell. After May dropped you off at your house, you weren’t sure if you should text Peter or not. You wrote and rewrote a dozen messages to him, but none of them felt right. 

“Peter, are you okay?” Nope… too short. 

“Hey, Pete do you need to talk? I’m alwa–” Definitely not. Way too direct.

“I noticed you seemed a bit down. Is everything alright?” You sound like May. Ew. 

Ultimately, you never sent any of them. As much as you loved Peter and wanted to help him, you knew it wouldn’t do any good to rush him. So, you gave him some space and time. 

  Shockingly, for the first time since you had gone to pick him up at the airport, Peter asked you to come over. During the past two weeks, you had always been the one to initiate dates or conversations. And even though it felt like Peter had stopped loving you, you persisted, never confusing his pain for the loss of love. 

As usual, you and Peter invited May to join in on your movie night. And right on cue– only twenty minutes into the movie –she said she never wanted to watch another Star Wars film again and went to bed, leaving you both alone in the living room. After you finished watching Phantom Menace for the dozenth time, Peter laid out his collection of Star Wars DVDs, trying to decide if he wanted to watch the rest of the prequels or skip to another one of his favorites. 

Deep down, you felt like Peter had invited you over for a reason. That his intentions included more than a movie, that it meant he was ready to talk. You leaned down and laid a hand on his shoulder, and he froze, holding A New Hope tightly in his grip.

“Pete… Are you okay?”

He glanced back at you with confusion, “What do you mean? Of course, I’m okay. Why wouldn’t I be okay?” 

“I don’t know, Pete. All I know is that you’ve been acting different since you got back from your trip.”

“Why would I be different?” He replied defensively, as though you had offended him. “I mean, i-if anything, you’re the one who’s being different.”

You saw tears well up in his eyes as he turned his back to you. “Peter, please just talk to me. I can tell that something’s off. I’m your girlfriend, for gosh sakes! I can tell! And you might think you have everyone else fooled, but….” You took a second to breathe, “but you can’t fool me.”

He shifted his weight and turned to face you, opening his mouth to speak. Still, nothing came out. Peter looked back at the ground, his silence prompting you to continue.

“I’m not sure if you wanted me to notice– or if you just didn’t care that I noticed –but I noticed. I gave you time, I waited for you to talk to me, and I thought that you inviting me over tonight meant that you were ready to talk.” Tears rolled down your face as you lowered your voice. “I’m sorry for caring, Peter, but I can’t pretend that you’re okay anymore… because you are clearly not okay.”

He fiddled with his hands, still avoiding looking at you. “I just wanted to watch a movie. I-I don’t know what you’re trying to imply, but all I wanted was to watch a movie with my girlfriend a-a-and have a good night….”

Peter’s voice trailed off, and you chimed in. “It’s not just about a movie, Pete. And I can’t let you act like it was ever just about a movie. Let’s just talk for a bit and see what happens. I might not know what happened out there, but the one thing I know is that you’re a hero, Peter. You’re my hero. So please, just tell me what’s bothering you, and then we can move on.”

“Nothing. Nothing’s bothering me.”

“Don’t lie to me, Peter. Something isn’t right and you can’t keep it inside forever.”

“I-It’s really nothing. There’s no use talking about it anyway, it won’t change what happened.”

“That’s a start… What happened then? What’s so bad that you can’t even tell your girlfriend?” He shook his head and you asked again, “Peter, c’mon. You can tell me. What happened?”

“Can you please stop asking?” He played with his fingers, his eyes still fixated on a dent in the floorboard.

“I can’t stop. Because if I stopped, that would mean I stopped loving you. And I don’t think that’ll ever happen. Not in this lifetime.”

Peter looked sadly at you, tears threatened to spill onto his cheeks. “I did everything right. I tried to do everything right. And I still… I messed up so bad. London would still be fine if it wasn’t for me. Did you know that?” He let out a sad, sarcastic chuckle. “London was all my fault.”

“Peter, you saved London. You di–”

Peter cut you off, running his hand through his hair. “I wouldn’t have had to save London if I hadn’t given E.D.I.T.H. to Beck.”

You looked at him in disbelief and it finally hit you how little you knew about the situation. But before Peter could see the shock in your eyes, you changed your expression, “What do you mean?”

“I mean that Quentin tricked me. I-I guess I was so stupid that I let him trick me and I gave E.D.I.T.H. to him and that’s why he was able to attack London. A-and I’m the reason that attack happened in the first place! I’m the reason a hundred people died! I’m the reason th-that Beck almost tricked the whole world! Tony never should’ve given me E.D.I.T.H.… Beck could’ve killed like a million peo–”

“Peter.” You squeezed his shoulder, “You can’t blame yourself for this. You didn’t let him kill a million people and now he never will, because you stopped him. Tony gave you E.D.I.T.H. because he trusted you, and he was right to do so. You figured out that Beck was bad before Paranoid Fury even doubted him, just think about that. You figured it out before Paranoid Fury. That’s incredible. And I know you think you don’t deserve E.D.I.T.H., but no one else could have taken down Beck on their own. Not like you did. So, like it or not, you’re kind of the best superhero we’ve got.”

You opened your arms, beckoning for him to sit back on the sofa with you. Peter gave you a teary smile and climbed onto the sofa, leaning into your arms. You cradled his head as he cried into your shoulder, his tears staining your sweater. 

“It’s okay, Peter. It’s okay.” For almost ten minutes, he lay in your arms as you repeated the reassuring phrase.

His breathing slowed and his eyes dried once more, though they were still red and puffy. Peter released himself from your embrace and laid across your lap, looking up and into your eyes.

“I gotta go hit the head.”

You looked at Peter with confusion, “I’m sorry, what? Did you really just say ‘hit the head’?”

“What? It’s a totally normal phrase.” He pouted at you.

“Just say you ‘need to go to the bathroom’ like a normal person… Oh m-you totally stole that from Fury or Cap didn’t you? Which one was it?”

Peter suddenly seemed very embarrassed, “Fury…”

“I knew it! Now go to the bathroom, weirdo. I’ll be waiting for you so we can choose our next movie.”

“‘Kay. Be right back”

Peter rushed out and somehow came back from the bathroom within a minute.

“I think I know which movie I wanna watch.” He flashed a shy smile at you.

“I don’t care what you wanna watch unless you washed your hands.”

Peter whined, “But I did wash them.”

“There’s literally no way you washed your hands and went to the bathroom in less than a minute. That would be impossible.”

“I totally did wash my hands, but I guess I could wash them again.” 

“Good to hear. So, what movie did you wanna watch, Parker?”

Peter handed you the same A New Hope DVD that he had dropped onto the sofa ten minutes prior. You rolled your eyes at him, holding the movie from the corner using only your pointer and thumb. As a condition, you told him he had to wash his hands in the kitchen sink (so you could watch him) before you would start the movie. After he did his part, you placed the disc into the DVD player and looked back at Peter while you waited for the film to appear onscreen. 

“Hey, Peter.” He lifted his head from the sofa’s cushions and propped it up, on one hand, waiting to hear what you had to say. “I know I was just joking around a few minutes ago, but I have to say something serious again. Next time something like this happens, you have to let it out. Whether that means talking to me, May, or Ned, you can’t let this-this darkness eat you up. Because, frankly, there’s a whole lifetime of darkness down the line and that’ll be the case for the rest of eternity. But what always made you different from Bucky, or Tony, or Cap, or any of them, is that you’ve never let yourself get caught up with that ‘darkness’. So don’t give up now. I know it’s a tough fight– well I’ll never know– but still, you can’t let the darkness take your shine away. You are the funniest, most intelligent, and kindest person I’ve ever met. Please, just don’t let anyone or anything ever take that from you.”

You had been staring at the coffee table between you and Peter this whole time and when you tilted your head back up in Peter’s direction, you noticed how shocked he seemed. His mouth hung slightly agape and his eyes maintained a soft gaze as if he was struggling to process this information. Peter sat up and grabbed a pillow from beside him, hugging it tightly to his chest. 

“I-I–” Peter was on the verge of saying something but was cut off by the film’s characteristic intro music. 

As the movie started, you crawled back up onto the sofa with Peter, and this time you rested your head on the pillow in his lap. You grew tired after the first hour and drifted to sleep, though Peter was still wide awake by the end. He let you sleep comfortably, still resting your head upon his lap as he stroked your cheek. Soon after, Peter dozed off as well, still sitting tall.

  The next morning, May saw that you were both still sound asleep and since it was already close to noon, she thought waking you up would be a great idea. She crept up behind the sofa, walking slowly and quietly until she was right behind both of you. May leaned over the sofa, peering down at your sleeping figures, and yelled while waving her arms wildly.

“WAKE UP! THERE’S ALIENS AGAIN! LOKI IS HERE! AAAHHHHH!”

Peter jumped up, knocking May over and dropping you onto the ground where you woke momentarily before closing your eyes and rolling under the coffee table. He turned left and right looking for aliens and destruction, still in a half-asleep daze. 

“Where are they!?!” He ran into his room, slamming the door open and throwing his belongings everywhere. “I can’t find my suit! MAYYYYYY! Where– Ohhhhh.”

He calmed down the second he took a look outside, realizing that May had just pranked him. “Haha. Very funny May,” said Peter sarcastically.

He walked back into the living room where May was still sitting on the ground and you had fallen asleep again. May laughed at Peter and gave him a pat on the back as he helped her up.

“I thought that was pretty funny, didn’t you? I mean, definitely not my best work, but not bad for a prank that only took five seconds of planning.”

Sass dripped from Peter’s words, “Mhmm. Sooooo funny, May. That totally wasn’t cruel at all. If I didn’t know any better, I might even say that was borderline emotional abuse.”

“Oh hush, Peter. You know it’s all just jokes and love with me.”

Peter laughed at May and went around to the other side of the couch where he had dropped you on the floor. You were a deep sleeper, both a blessing and a curse in a city that actually got attacked by one of the big three every other week. Peter crouched down, lowering himself onto his hands and knees until he came face to face with you. 

He set a hand on your back, shaking you gently. “Hey, sleepyhead. Do you wanna wake up? It’s almost lunchtime… I know how much you love lunch.”

Your eyes opened slowly and a smirk appeared on your lips, “Did you say ‘lunch’?”

  You and Peter were getting ready to go out with May for a fun Sunday brunch-lunch. While he and May had inherited some money from Tony, they only let themselves spend it on Sundays. They decided they wanted to try out some weird and somewhat fancy French restaurant in Chelsea and invited you to go along with them. The only problem was that you forgot to pack an overnight bag and had nothing to change into. 

“Uhhhh, Peter. You wouldn’t happen to have any extra clothes lying around that I could borrow? Maybe, just like for today? Pants and a shirt would work just fine, like literally anything.”

“I have to-uhhhh I have to check. Yeah. I have to check… Just give me a minute here.” Peter started pacing around his room, digging through piles of unfolded laundry. “Change of plans, I’m gonna check with May. I can’t seem to find anything nice.”

As Peter walked out of the room he placed his cell phone on his bedside table. A horrible idea flashed through your mind and before you could think it through, you already had Peter’s phone in your hands. You racked your brain trying to remember his passcode until you remembered what a fanboy he was. The passcode was 1999, the year The Phantom Menace came out. And while you didn’t agree that it was the best of the Star Wars movies, you let him think that you did. 

You scrolled through Peter’s contacts, looking for Happy Hogan, but unfortunately, he had replaced everyone’s names with emojis. Basically, he had made it impossible for anyone other than him to access his contacts list. Remembering that the text app would let you search for keywords from old conversations, you typed in “Hi, Happy. It’s Peter.” knowing that there was an extremely high chance that Peter had sent his first text to Happy in that format. Just as you had suspected, one conversation appeared. The contact name had a smiling emoji followed by a little house and a wrestler. You clicked on the contact info and it displayed Happy’s phone number. Grabbing your own phone from your pocket, you copied down the number before exiting out of the text app and placing Peter’s phone exactly where it had been before. 

You sat down on Peter’s bed, surrounded by his laundry, and waited for him to return. While you waited, you started drafting a message to Happy. 

“Hey, Happy… it’s me, Peter’s girlfriend. I kinda need a favor so if you could maybe give me a call sometime that would be really great. Thanks!” It looked and sounded horrible, but frankly, it was the only thing you could come up with. 

  Four days later, Happy called you, and he wasn’t very happy about it. 

“Okay, kid. What do you want? And make it quick because Pepper’s got me working way more than I get paid for.”

Despite your preparation, your anxiety got the best of you when you realized you would actually have to speak with Happy. “Oh, um hi Mr. Happy. So basically I need your help to surprise Peter–”

Happy interrupted you, “What? Why do you need my help?”

“Well, you see, Peter lost his uncle Ben’s luggage when he went to Europe, and Peter has a very strong emotional connection to the bag because Ben is dead. Oh gosh, that sounded really bad. But what I’m trying to say is that I need your help to recreate uncle Ben’s bag so I can surprise Peter for his birthday!”

 “That’s it? You could’ve just texted me and I would already have the bag in production. Geez. I’ll see if I can find any photos of the bag in the Stark Database, but send me over what you have to speed things up, alright? Talk to ya later, kid.”

He had hung up before you could even thank him. His bluntness made sense considering he had a lot on his plate, grief included, so you decided to find as many photos of Ben’s luggage as you could to make his job easier. You texted May asking about the bag, saying that you were just curious, and omitted your secret. To your surprise, May actually had detailed photos of the bag from when Ben bought it to take on their honeymoon. You thanked her repeatedly and immediately sent the photos to Happy who merely replied with a thumbs-up emoji. 

  August tenth approached quickly and before you knew it, Peter’s birthday was there. Happy had someone drop off the replica at your apartment and you were suddenly very thankful that Peter was too busy to randomly swing by anymore. Whoever wrapped the suitcase made sure that it was very obviously a suitcase, they even wrapped the handle separately from the rest of the bag. Who even does that?

You hauled the luggage up the steep stairs leading up to your apartment, wondering why Peter would take such an inconvenient item with him. Then, it hit you again. First, he’s Spider-Man so the bag probably felt light as a feather to him. And second, emotions influence people into making weird decisions. You ran to unwrap it as soon as you shut your front door. Ripping off the thick brown paper, the luggage’s natural, and beautiful, navy blue shone through. You marveled at the leatherwork and the shiny “B.F.P.” embossed between the buckles. This bag was something you had seen time and time again at Peter’s apartment, yet it wasn’t until now that you realized just how beautiful it was. 

After heading out to a local craft store to get some nicer wrapping paper and a real box, you returned home to wrap up Peter’s present. Despite your best efforts to not wrap his present up the same way as the idiot who wrapped it the first time, your wrapping job ended up looking minimally better. The only redeeming part was the wrapping paper. Unfortunately, you had mismeasured and just the handle did not fit into the box, sticking out ever so slightly and creating a noticeable lump in the wrapping paper. You brainstormed for nearly an hour, testing out a dozen different ideas before you realized what you needed, was a bow. You returned to the craft store, digging through bins of bows, ribbons, and yarns until you found a giant blue bow made of at least thirty thin ribbons. The finishing touch fixed all of your worries and made Peter’s present look like a really showy box, which was exactly what you were going for. 

  On the day of Peter’s birthday party, you had to drag his huge gift box across five blocks, through two line changes, and in the dark. Peter decided that since he was turning 17, though he would have been 22 if he hadn’t blipped, he deserved a “big boy” party, and apparently, that meant having a party at night time. By the time you arrived at Avenger’s Tower, where he said would “be the absolute best spot to have a birthday bash”, the bottom of the wrapping paper had gotten ripped off and only the cardboard remained. For a split second, you wished that you had kept the bag’s handle outside of the wrapping paper, but ultimately, you knew that wrapping it the way you did would make surprising Peter much more fun. 

You took the elevator up to one of the top floors, accompanied by Ned and Bruce Banner. The entire ride up, not a single word was spoken, and the corny elevator music served only to intensify the awkwardness. The three of you rushed out when the doors opened, not even waiting for the elevator voice to finish telling you what floor you were on. Banner went straight to the sofa area where Thor and Valkyrie were talking. You and Ned, however, teamed up to look for Peter.

“So, uh, what’s in the box?” Ned pointed to the present you were dragging across the smooth tile.

“It’s just Peter’s present.”

“Well, yeah. I know that, but like,” Ned lowered his voice and covered his mouth, “what’s in it?”

“It’s a surprise, Ned. I can’t tell you because then you’ll just tell Peter and then it won’t be a surprise anymore.”

“Ooohhhh, gotcha. Gotcha. Surprise, huh? Are you sure you can’t tell me? I promise I won’t tell Peter.”

You looked at Ned, “I’m sure, Ned. Now help me figure out where to put this box, it’s kinda heavy and I don’t like lugging it around.”

Ned helped you with the box, carrying both his and your presents until you came across the present table. May was in charge of the table and took the presents gladly. 

“Hi, May! Have you seen Peter around?” You asked her.

“Sorry kiddos, I haven’t seen him since Thor got here. Did you check the lounge area? That’s where Thor always hangs out so he might still be over there.”

Ned chimed in this time, “Nah, he’s not there. Mr. Thor was though. I’m sure we’ll find him later. Thanks, Ms. Parker!”

The two of you left May at the table, looking all over for Peter. Finally, you found him on the upper level of the room talking to Shuri. He waved at you and Ned to join him, motioning to the stairs to his left. 

You started a conversation as you climbed the stairs, “Hey, Pete! Hey, Shuri! How are y’all doing?” 

“Good! Hurry up or you’ll miss the fireworks,” Shuri urged you and Ned to hurry up.

Peter turned to Shuri and rolled his eyes, “Dude! You weren’t supposed to tell them, I wanted them to think it was a surprise, not that we planned it!”

Ned chimed in, “What? Did you want us to think you had a secret admirer? Because we all know that Flash is your only admirer.”

You high-fived Ned for his great comeback, though you couldn’t help but correct him. “Excuse me, but I like to consider myself the best Peter Parker admirer. Flash is only a Spidey admirer. There’s a difference!”

The four of you hung out on the balcony for the rest of the night, occasionally chatting with other Avengers or friends that happened to pass along. You could tell that Peter and Ned were missing MJ at the party, but her parents had decided to move to a more rural area immediately after the trip, making it near impossible for her to come to the party. Still, along with Shuri’s help, you were able to keep Ned and Peter happy and entertained until it was time for cake and presents. 

  Everyone gathered around the long, glass table with Peter sitting at the very front. You and Ned each stood on either side of him, while May stood immediately behind him. Barton walked into the room carrying a large, two-tiered cake that was decorated like Tony’s arc reactor. Peter had asked for it specifically, as one last tribute to Tony. Originally, Scott had offered to bake the cake, claiming that baking was one of the many talents he acquired while on house arrest. It turned out, that Scott only thought he was a good baker because he was the only one eating his treats and had grown accustomed to the bad tastes and textures. Luckily, May had asked Scott to bring her a sample a week before the party, so we still had enough time to ask Clint’s wife to help us instead. 

Sam lit the seventeen candles on the cake quickly, only stopping when Bucky added an eighteenth candle for “good luck”. Leading the awkward celebration, Scott began singing “Happy Birthday”; the other Avengers followed awkwardly. Thor sang louder than everyone else despite not knowing the lyrics, and Shuri joined him. Barton, Fury, Hill, and Bucky all stood awkwardly while lipsyncing the words. You, May, Sam, Ned, Bruce, Hope, Happy, Pepper, Morgan, and Strange were the only ones singing normally, though normal was never a great descriptor for any of Peter’s “coworkers”.  Peter blew out his candles shyly as the song came to a close and muttered “thank you” under his breath when he realized they hadn’t put trick candles on his cake this time. 

Thor’s booming voice cut through the chatter, “Well, Midguardian, when can we see these gifts of yours? I am quite interested in knowing what marvels lie on that table.”

“Oh. Ummm. Sorry, Mr. Thor, I wasn’t really planning on opening those at the party. It was going to be more of a private thing… like just me.”

“Nonsense, young one! You should open them all here. In front of your friends! We will not judge if you receive odd gifts, why that only makes it more exciting!”

Peter looked anxiously between you, Ned, and Shuri, trying to see if any of you had gotten him embarrassing gifts that might require privacy. Ned and Shuri shook their heads reassuringly, and although your gift was not embarrassing, you weren’t sure it warranted an audience.

You leaned down to Peter’s ear and whispered to him, “My present isn’t really embarrassing or inappropriate or anything, but it’s a bit special. So, if you don’t mind, I’m gonna take it off the table and hide it so Thor doesn’t make you open it. Is that alright?”

Peter looked up at you, grabbing your hand, “Yeah, yeah, that’s fine. To be honest, I don’t feel like opening any of them in front of a crowd. But go do what you have to, I’ll keep him distracted for a minute.”

You thanked Peter and slipped away. As you were walking towards the gift table you heard Peter yelling something about cake, followed by Thor, Scott, and Sam cheering. Whatever it was, it was probably going to distract them for longer than you needed. You dug around looking for your box, finding it hidden under a dozen gift bags. Carefully, you moved each gift bag to the side until you could pull the box from the pile. You fixed the table, leaving it almost the same as you had found it, and looked around for a place to hide your present. Towards the end of the hallway, you found the perfect hiding spot beneath a wide leather chair. You hid the box and returned quickly to the party, hoping that no one noticed your absence.

  After everyone had gone home, and May had fallen asleep on Thor’s favorite sofa, you finally gave Peter his present. He ripped the torn, dusty, and grimy wrapping paper away from the gift, pulling chunks of the cardboard box along with it. 

The second he laid eyes on the dark blue leather and brown handle, he knew what you had gotten him. “Oh my… No way…”

Peter didn’t even wait to finish opening the present before pulling you into a warm embrace. He hugged you tightly and you felt a tear hit your back.

“I’m really hoping those are happy tears.”

Peter pulled back, placing his hands on your shoulders, “Definitely happy tears.”

“Good, because I really wasn’t planning on this being a sad moment.”

“How? W-How did you even get this? I thought I had lost it, or-or gotten it blown up! Oh my gosh… I-I still can’t believe this. Thank you so much! Really. Thank you.” Peter released his grip on your shoulders, moving his hands up slowly until they cupped your face. He looked solemnly into your eyes, waiting for a look of agreement, before kissing you softly.

“You’re welcome, Pete. But just so you know, it's just a replica. I'm not quite sure what happened to the real bag… you should thank Happy too, he helped me figure this all out.”

“I’ll definitely thank him later. But seriously, this might be one of the best gifts I’ve ever gotten.”

You smiled at his giddiness and joked, “I would hope so, I’m the one who gave it to you!”

“I don’t want to get all sappy, but thank you for not letting the darkness get to me. If it hadn’t been for your little pep-talk, I might still be letting that darkness eat at me, and I’m guessing that wouldn’t be great. I don’t want to make the same mistake twice. No matter how much bad there is down the line, I don’t ever wanna feel like that again. I love you so much, and I’m so thankful that you’re in my life. I mean it.”

“I know, and I love you too, I love you through the Blip and back.”

{can someone lmk if this story is any good? I’m having some doubts 😭}

[lennonmccartneystuff]

I Was There For You in Your Darkest Times

Summary: Cool and confident 16 year old John Lennon meets a shy and broken Paul McCartney, 15, still reeling from his mother's death. When John loses his mother a year later Paul helps him through it.

Pairing: John x Paul (platonic)

Warnings: like one curse word

Author's note: I'm so excited this is my first fanfiction! Overarching note for all of my works...I don't own the Beatles haha

John Lennon rushed down the hallway on his way to class at Quarry Bank High School. He bumped into a boy slowly crossing the corner. He knew he recognized the kid, it was Paul McCartney. Something about Paul always confused him; he got a vibe from him like something was wrong but he couldn't figure out what. People made fun of him a lot and John didn't really engage with them because something about Paul made him feel like he didn't need more problems.

They collided and Paul fumbled to pick up his books trying to spit out an apology but just sounding muffled and anxious.

"I- sorry I didn't um, I didn't mean to"

"No worries man, my fault." John said while handing him his books and looking at Paul for a moment, trying to read him.

The boys went their separate ways heading to their own classes but John couldn't get Paul out of his mind for the rest of the afternoon and evening.

"Had Paul always been so nervous and quiet?" He thought to himself on the way home. Granted, he didn't know Paul personally but he had seen him around the last few years and something had definitely changed about him as of late.

John sat at home fiddling with his guitar and writing the first few verses to a song about a mystery boy (obviously influenced by his curiosity about Paul's story). He always turned to music when he couldn't get something off his mind. Sure, it wasn't necessarily a quick fix but it helped.

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For the next couple of days John just kept watching Paul. Not to be like a stalker or anything but he wanted to kinda know if he was ok. Problem is you don't just approach someone you've spoken to like twice to ask if they're going through something so he was at a loss.

Anyway, John had a free period so he headed down to the auditorium following a brief stop at his locker to get his guitar. He always went there there to practice in peace since it was empty during fifth period.

When he turned the corner he could swear he heard a voice but couldn't figure out who it was. He peered into the room and saw Paul McCartney huddled on the floor clearly trying not to cry.

"Hey man, are you ok?"

*sniff* "I'm fine, just leave me alone."

"I'm not going to tell anyone about this so if you want to tell me what's wrong, you can."

"I- um... today's a year since my mom passed away."

"Paul. I-I'm so sorry."

"Breast cancer"

"I had no idea"

"Is that a guitar?" Paul looked over to John's hand.

"Yeah! Do you play?"

"Yes! And bass too, that's my favorite."

"no way that's sick. We should play some time. Come by after school?"

"Yeah! I'm down, that sounds fun."

The bell rang and the boys went their separate ways; John with a new understanding of what Paul was going through and Paul happy that someone wanted to talk to him about something other than how he had been coping for the last year.

At the end of the day John and Paul made eye contact and headed to their own houses aknowledging that they were going to get together later.

Later they hung out at John's house playing around different musical snippets. John, with a little hesitation at the thought of bringing of bringing up mothers, answered Paul's question saying that it was his mom that got him into music and bought him his first guitar

"That's awesome! Does your dad play?"

"Well I uh, don't know my dad so I couldn't tell you." John chuckled nervously.

"Oh I'm sorry."

"Nah it's no big deal, he's a piece of shit anyway. My mom's the great one, I wish I saw her more often."

"Why don't you? If you don't mind me asking."

"She's actually not that far. It's just that she's with this guy and my Aunt Mimi wouldn't let me live with them cause it was too cramped or whatever, so here I am. We still talk often though"

"that's good" Paul said wistfully.

"Oh sorry, we can change the subject"

Paul nodded.

The rest of the night went on and Paul left a couple of hours later to go home.

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For the next few weeks John and Paul hung out at each other's houses almost every day after school just to play guitar and do homework and stuff. John noticed a change in Paul's disposition, he was still really hurt over his mom and that wasn't going to go away, but he seemed even close to happy for the first time since he lost her. Apparently Jim McCartney noticed it too because one night he pulled John aside before the two boys went up to practice and thanked him for being there for Paul. Of course John wasn't doing it for thanks, he really like hanging out with Paul, but he was glad it was doing something good.

One night at John's house Paul quietly brought up that he had been working on writing some original music.

"I um, wrote some lyrics this past week. I don't know if you want to hear them. Maybe you can help me come up with the riff for transition from verse to chorus."

"Yeah of course, let me here 'em"

"Well, I woke up late this morning my head was in a whirl only then I realized I lost my little girl oh, oh, oh, oh. Well, her clothes were not expensive her hair didn't always curl I don't know why I love her but I love my little girl oh, oh, oh, oh."

"And then I think the chorus is going to be: Well, gather 'round people let me tell you the story the very first song I wrote. But I don't know if that sounds stupid or where to go from there and I need help with that transition."

"Wow- the uh, the lyrics are beautiful, Paul."

"Thanks. Any advice for those parts?"

"C to Am?"

"let's give that a shot."

John and Paul were constantly with each other at school, always hanging out at home too and never far from a guitar. They quickly grew to be very good friends and Paul hung out with John's other friends in the group.

The school year was winding down. John and Paul lived pretty close to each other so they planned on basically spending the whole summer playing music together with the rest of the guys. On the last day of school they said goodbye but of course they weren't apart for long. For the entire month of June Paul was either with John and his other friends or with George.

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The middle of July rolled around and suddenly Paul didn't really hear from John and he couldn't figure out what was up. They didn't have a fight and it seemed that none of the other guys had talked to him either.

After a few days of not wanting to smother John during whatever was going on Paul had to check on him so he went to his house to at least see if Mimi could tell him anything.

"Hey is John around?"

Mimi stood in the doorway with tears in her eyes, it looked like she had been crying for days

"Is everything ok?"

"Let me see if he'll come talk to you."

"John? Paul's downstairs. You should really talk to him if you're ready, he's worried."

"I'm coming. I'm going to tell him."

John walks down the stairs into the living room where Paul is waiting near the doorway.

"Hey John. Are you ok?"

"Let's take a walk, I need to talk to you."

"Is everything alright?"

They walked for a moment and John readied himself to say what he was about to say. Paul was the first person he told and he was trying to prepare himself even though no amount of waiting would make this any easier.

"My uh, my mom was killed a couple of days ago, died in a car crash." John said, barely above a whisper.

Paul froze. He didn't have specific proof that they were in this part of their friendship yet but he had to go with his gut. He leaned in and gave John a hug and they just stood there for a moment.

When they pulled away Paul took a look at John while he wiped his eyes. He had never seen him like this before. John was strong and nothing ever really got to him but he had never looked so broken. Paul remembered that feeling unfortunately and while his mom passed away under different circumstances he still knew all too well the pain of losing someone so important so young.

John was never one for showing his emotions, even to his best friend. Though if he had to cry in front of someone it wouldn't have been anyone else.

Paul tried his hardest to keep John out of the really dark place he found himself in last year before they met. The trauma that comes from losing a parent so young will never be erased and there was nothing anyone could do to make that better but Paul's priority was keeping his best friend from being consumed by this. He knew what it was like to lose yourself and he wasn't going to let that happen to John.

Eventually John told the rest of his friends what had happened, with Paul by his side for moral support, but he didn't really hang out much the rest of the summer. The only person he ever really saw was Paul because he wouldn't leave him alone for too long. John wasn't the best with words so he didn't know how to say it, but he didn't know what he would've done without Paul that summer.

"Are you ready?" Paul asked as he turned to John before looking at the big doors to Quarry Bank High School.

"As ready as I'll ever be."

The two made their way into school with a new closeness between them, an understanding of what it's like to experience living hell and survive it.

That shared experience was part of what brought John to immediately include Paul in the lineup for The Quarrymen, a group initially consisting of John, Pete, Eric, Colin, Rod, and Len. The group evolved a year later when, at Paul's request, George was added.

This gave John and Paul something to distract themselves with and direct their attention to instead of how much they missed their moms. The Quarrymen performed at dances, school events, etc. When they moved in the direction of rock and roll, only John, Paul, and George remained.

If it wasn't for John and Paul meeting and helping each other through the hard times it would've been so much harder to get to the good ones.

[candyflosskells]

I wrote the part two of that really depressing thing I made last time. My bad? Idk I don’t think this ones as sad so that’s gotta be something, right?

This one is NSFW though so proceed with caution.

There’s fingers in his hair, rough lips on his stretched neck. The scratching of dark, coarse stubble stinging delightfully as it leaves behind a pretty pink stain upon his delicate skin. It’ll be the only evidence of this happening tomorrow, when daylight comes and he can look at himself in the hotel mirror and think, why did he do that?

He doesn’t know the answer now and he sure as hell won’t know it tomorrow either. All he really knows for sure is that he can’t lose this, can’t lose Marshall’s touch - whether it be the soft caress he prefers or the tight bruising grip he uses upon Colson’s pale skin when he’s desperate for a quick fuck.

He knows he can’t function without the man even if every time they touch since Marshall left, the crack in Colson’s fragile little heart grows ever deeper - a slow painful countdown for when the time bomb violently detonates and his heart shatters into bloodthirsty glass daggers leaving him hurt and alone once more. But why would he care for the future? When right now he’s balanced so happily on the jagged cliff edge?

His resolve didn’t last long. When Marshall called and asked to be ‘just friends’, Colson had clenched his jaw and snarled ‘acquaintances’ down the microphone, the pain too raw to forgive, to act like it was all okay when Marshall didn’t love him anymore. How could he be so unaffected? But then, then there was that one lonely night where Colson was just so exhausted with trying that he let down his guard and of course that’s when Marshall tore his way back into Colson’s broken heart.

It had been an award show, just another boring one where he’d been forced to go by the label. He hadn’t wanted to leave his bed, rejected every call, drank himself sick a couple -more than a couple -times until they came by to dress him up. A puppet on a string, that’s what he was now. ‘You’re doing it Colson! It’ll be good for appearances.’ They had said, ‘It’ll show everyone you’re okay, you haven’t been out much lately, the fans are concerned’. Fuck the fans! Everyone he knew had been worried- Pete? Rook? Slim? Dom?- He’d been missing calls from everyone in his life. It was like they all knew something was missing but they couldn’t figure out how to fix it.

They couldn’t fix it however hard they tried but the one thing that could? Well, he was sitting across the room that night, eyes trailing over Colson’s tired face and then like magnets they came together once more. Just a half hour later found him with flushed cheeks pinned against the bathroom wall, the hard tile cool to touch, only warmed by his soft breathy moans for more. He’d missed this. There was nothing in the world quite like the feeling of Marshall taking him apart, spreading his long legs and pounding into him ruthlessly as if the sight of Colson was too much for him and he was overcame by the feral need to claim, to mark, to ruin Colson so completely in all the right ways.

Colson was his, for as long as he wanted.

He knows he shouldn’t have done it, shouldn’t have given in but now that he has, he can’t go back to being without it. He won’t. He knows sometimes when he gets so desperate to be loved, he’ll take anything he can get from the older man but he truly thinks he can’t stop himself. Marshall was so entwined in every part of Colson's life that if he left again, Colson would come crashing down like a house of cards. Marshall’s name was on every sign, his voice in every song, wherever Colson went, there were things Marshall would love so greatly that the thought makes Colson giddy. But Colson can’t show the man these things - not now. Now it’s just rough touches, quick fucks and brief goodbyes. They’re not the same but they’re enough for Colson to keep his sanity at least. There wouldn’t be much left of it if Marshall called it off again, he was sure.

But then, here they are again, a dingy old motel where no one would think to look for the both of them, their bodies slotted together so perfectly that for a moment Colson wonders how they could ever be parted again. Thick fingers stretch him out hurriedly, no time for kindness but Marshall keeps him distracted with vicious biting kisses and every time their lips touch it’s like electricity crackling to life. It shoots through every vein, supercharging his skin until he’s so ready, so wanting for Marshall to do something. Marshall's hasty touch retreats before he’s pushing himself inside. Colson lets the feeling of himself stretching consume him like wildfire as the brunette fills him up completely and in that moment, he knows that he is Marshall’s forever. He uses his blunt fingernails to mark up pale skin, leaving dark red scratches engraved into the man's muscular back. He’s leaving his mark, a not-so gentle reminder for Marshall the next day so he won’t forget the night before. Won't forget him.

Before the breakup, Colson had been so sure of Marshall’s love, no need to let the world know the brunette was his because Marshall told them himself, told every man, woman and child about his love for Colson but now? To Marshall this was just a hookup. A fun fuckbuddy and sure they had history, but a fuckbuddy with history was still just a fuckbuddy. Just someone for Marshall to easily get lost in. A quick fuck, a little bit of entertainment, a fun easy plaything that’s always up for something. That’s all he is to Marshall, all he’ll ever be to Marshall now their love is no more.

It hurts of course, a sharp stabbing pain when Colson thinks about it too hard. Robbing him of his already shallow breath but it’s easy to forget, to push away the intrusive thoughts when there's strong hands bruising his delicate hips just right. Perhaps this is all just a bump in the road. Yeah of course it is, Colson thinks desperately as he fucks down on his former lover's cock, moans pouring from his pretty pink mouth, because surely, the blonde silently reassures himself, Marshall can feel the powerful tugging from the red strings that connect them so clearly or he wouldn’t be here with him at all, right? Would he?

He doesn’t know.

[walkerwords]

“Ultimatum” Spencer Monroe x F!Reader

Request: from @thanossexual​  how do you feel about Spencer x Reader where Y/n puts him in his place. Like when he tries to rebel she shuts his shit down. she understands his frustrations though because he lost everyone so she reassures him and tells him to give Rick and his group one more chance

Word Count: 1603

Warning: Swearing

Song I Wrote To: “Don’t Blame Me” by Taylor Swift

Note: Short little thing that was requested by Dori. For future Spencer stories I may need to go rewatch his episodes to get his character right :) Also I kind of made the reader a bit cold, but I do like the way this turned out. 

--------

Spencer Monroe was seeing red. 

Entering his home, he paced around the living room, trying to calm down, but the rage remained simmering in his chest. His whole family was gone and it was all their fault, it was Rick’s fault.

If they had never come to Alexandria, there would have never been so much death. His father was dead, his brother was dead, and now his mother. He still couldn’t get the image of her walking around, her white eyes glazed over as the virus raged through her undead body. For so long, he had accepted that they were untouchable within the walls of their sanctuary. Now, he wasn’t so sure, especially with men like Rick Grimes. 

With a shout of rage, Spencer went to the desk in the corner and opened the second drawer on the left. When he found it empty, he froze. 

“Looking for this?” you said from behind him. Spencer whirled around to see you leaning in the entranceway, his gun dangling from your hand. 

“Give it to me,” he said, stepping forward, but you shook your head, placing it behind your back. 

“No,” you said, standing your ground. 

“(Y/N)…” he said, already too tired for an argument. You, however, were as alert as can be and ready to take him down a few notches. 

“Are you going to kill Rick?” you asked calmly. 

“I’m thinking about it,” Spencer said, annoyed. He never got angry with you. Even if he felt it bubbling up inside him, he went outside and took it out on the wall or just ended up internalizing it fully. You were the opposite. When you were pissed, you tended to either go kill the Dead or take it out on anyone who lit your flame. You weren’t proud of it, but you had survived this long without having to be nice all the time. 

However, the way your boyfriend was acting right now was going to get him killed. “Baby,” you began, “I love you, you know I do, but you are being a complete moron right now.” 

“Excuse me?” he asked, taken aback. 

“If you go after Grimes, if you try to shoot him, you will be dead before you can even pull the damn trigger. Daryl will have a bolt between your eyes in a matter of seconds or Carol will try to take your head off with a spoon. Hell, I bet that kid of his would gut you without even thinking. Not gonna lie, Carl scares the shit out of me and I’m not too proud to admit that.”

“He killed my mother,” Spencer argued. 

“No, he didn’t. Deanna died from a Walker. This world killed her,” you reminded him. Spencer scoffed at your use of the colloquialism used by the “invaders”. 

“God, you even sound like them,” Spencer said in annoyance. “Calling them ‘Walkers’, what the hell does that even mean?”

“I thought it was pretty self-explanatory…” you said under your breath, but he wasn’t listening. 

“If these people had never come here…”

“Then the Walkers in the quarry would have. You saw it the same day I did, Spencer. Those trucks were not going to hold. I have seen large herds since the start of this, but I have never seen anything remotely close to that monstrosity. We are lucky that Grimes was here to help us!” “You’re taking his side!” he bellowed. 

“Stop it!” you countered. “There are no sides, Spence. We need to survive and whether you liked it or not, Rick Grimes is the best at it. I have been on the outside, I have seen what happens when people are not strong enough. I was almost like those people until I finally learned the rules of the new world. You know that I care about you, but you need to start learning them too.”

“My family was alive before they got here, (Y/N),” he reminded you.

“What happened to your father was tragic,” you said softer this time, remembering when Pete had killed Reg. “I am so sorry about him and your mother. Then with what happened to Aidan...it was horrible, but we both know that he shouldn’t have been out there. None of you should be out there when you don’t want to acknowledge how the new world works. We are no longer at the top of the food chain, the Dead are. It is their world and we just have to live in it.” 

Spencer stared at you and you watched as the fire slowly faded from his eyes. You began to relax a bit more. Though, you knew he wasn’t done. “What do you expect me to do, (Y/N)?”

“I want you to try,” you nearly begged. “You don’t like Rick? Fine. How about Glenn or Maggie? Hell, even Daryl, though I am pretty sure he wants to punch you in the face, so maybe not. Just try.”

“And if I don’t?” he challenged, crossing his arms. 

“Then,” you paused, trying to get your nerve, “then, I’m done. I’ll move into one of the vacant houses and you and I will be finished.” 

“What? Why?” he asked, completely struck.

“Because you are letting your emotions cloud your judgment! This world is not so fucking simple anymore, Spencer. I have been trying for months to make you all see the new world and you have refused to listen to me. What do you think is going to happen? Do you think that one day everything is going to magically revert back to normal?” 

“Of course not!”

“Then why won’t you acknowledge it? Please, Spencer,” you said as you went to him, dropping the empty gun on the table. You took his hands in yours, unfolding his arms. “I need you to start understanding where I am coming from because I will not lose you. I’ve already lost enough.” Spencer held your hands back, keeping firm pressure. He looked down into your eyes and his shoulders dropped fully. 

“I didn’t know you felt this way,” Spencer said. 

“You never asked,” you pointed out, lifting one of your hands to rest against his neck. You had met Spencer when Eric had dragged your half dead body through the gates of Alexandria five months before. A group had robbed you and left you without food or water for days and you were desperate for help. When Eric had found you, he hadn’t hesitated to help. It was shortly after that when Spencer introduced himself and there was something about him that just clicked with you. 

However, while you knew that there was that connection, you also knew that you couldn’t just sink into the relationship without keeping your reservations. No matter how you felt about Spencer, there was always one person you had to care about above all else and that was yourself.

You had lost too much, seen too much death, and fought too hard to not fight for your own survival. You were now only hoping that he would fight to survive alongside you. 

Spencer leaned into you, feeling the firm pressure of your hand against his neck. Your eyes were locked together as you urged him to see what you were thinking and feeling at that moment. With a sigh, Spencer covered your hand with his. “Can I have my gun back, please?” he asked. 

“Are you going to talk to Rick?” you asked. 

“I can start with Maggie,” he compromised. 

“Good,” you said as you turned to pick up the gun and pressed it into his hand. A sort of peace offering. You leaned up and kissed him softly, feeling the stubble on his cheek scratch against your own. 

“Were you really going to leave me?” Spencer asked when you pulled back. 

“I told you when we met that I wasn’t going to let this world beat me, Spence. I meant it,” you said.

“What am I supposed to do with that?” he asked, cupping your face with his calloused hands. You could feel the bump that was on his finger where he rested it against the trigger of his rifle. 

“I don’t know, but that is how I feel and I promised I would always be honest with you,” you said. 

“I don’t like ultimatums,” he said. 

“Don’t think of it as one. It’s a necessity. Either get along with the people who will fight to survive or be willing to die alone,” you said and you knew it sounded cold, but he needed to hear it. Spencer Monroe wasn’t a man who needed to be coddled, he responded well to the truth and you were willing to be the sounding board for that. 

“(Y/N)…,” he started.

“I promised my mom that I wasn’t going to be weak and I stand by that,” you reminded him. 

“Which is why I love you,” he said easily. 

“Then try to understand me. Hear me,” you nearly begged.

“I do, and I am going to try. I promise,” he said, leaning his forehead against yours.

“I don’t expect you to be Van Helsing, but try to see it through my eyes,” you said. 

“Yes, Ma’am,” he promised. 

“Thank you.”

“I love you so much,” Spencer said. 

“I love you, too,” you said as you pulled him in for another kiss, finally feeling like the two of you were getting somewhere. You didn’t always see eye to eye, but perhaps now a compromise could be made. When he pulled back again, he was grinning. “What?” you asked him. 

“Van Helsing hunted vampires,” he whispered. 

“Oh, shut up.”

@thanossexual​ @yes-sir-hotchner​  @felicisimor @lucillethings​

[cultofbeatles]

facts about the beatles that i like 

ringo 

was actually the most popular member when they first arrived in america. 

was considered the best drummer in liverpool when he joined the beatles 

worlds richest drummer 

the storyteller for thomas the tank 

was the first member to try weed 

was also the first member to leave the group during the white album sessions (he came back though..obviously)

in 1961 he wanted to move to america with a friend but decided not to since there was a lot of paperwork involved 

when george had an affair with ring’s wife he said; “better you than someone I don't know”

was with his first wife when she was on her deathbed 

set up his own furniture company in 1971

he would record his drum parts in one take 

is left handed but plays with a right handed kit 

still runs on stage for performances bc he’s nervous 

when performing live he would watch john’s ass to keep up with time 

Rolling Stones ranked him the fifth best drummer in rock history 

he hated drum solos 

when John was killed he was the only beatle to fly to new york and comfort yoko 

never had pizza or onions before 

john 

enjoyed playing monopoly 

the first instrument he learned to play was the harmonica 

he enjoyed drawing and acting 

kept a light on whenever he slept 

later in his life found out he was dyslexic 

he would make lunches for his entire staff 

growing up he was self conscious about his nose 

he wanted jesus and adolf on the sgt pepper’s cover 

the only beatles not to became a vegetarian 

called paul’s music “granny music”

took paul to paris with his birthday money and bought him all the banana milkshakes he wanted 

in 1965 a reporter called him the “fat beatle” and he started to eat less after that 

didn't talk to cynthia for weeks when she cut her hair short

referred to paul as “an old estranged fiance of mine”

was the one to quit the band officially 

he was invested by the fbi when he moved to America bc he was “influencing the nations youth”

around the time he died he wanted to start touring again 

when he was younger, a friend dared him to masturbate ten times. he made it to nine. 

bought an island in 1967

made a fifteen minute motion shot with yoko of his penis going from flaccid to erect 

hated his voice and often tried to fix it on the records 

paul 

failed choir boy auditions twice 

when he first met john and played for him his voice kept cracking from nerves 

made his first girlfriend’s mom comb his leg hairs 

arrested in 1960 for lighting a condom on fire in germany 

the first instrument he learned to play was the trumpet 

him and Linda appeared on an episode of the simpsons 

once made a live web video about making mashed potatoes 

very jealous of anyone who got near John 

from past one nightstands apparently the smallest dick, but was the best in bed

was the main reason why the beatles got as much done as they did 

once took lsd with john so that he wouldn't go through it alone 

was made an honorary detective by nypd after giving a charity concert for 9/11

once told a reporter that yoko looked like a gigantic swollen chopstick with black chia pet hair 

helped julian buy john’s letters from yoko 

on the day that john told the band he was leaving them for good paul was trying to convince them to start touring again 

wrote his song here today as a poem first bc he didn't think he’d be able to sing it 

for the eight days a week movie premiere he wore the same suit he wore for the hard days night premiere and was super happy about it 

george 

first beatle to travel to america and play there as well 

organized the 1971 concert for Bangladesh with Indian musician ravi shankar

rolling stones ranked him #11 on their list of “100 greatest guitarists of all time”

two time rock and roll hall of fame inductee 

one time walked into a girls dressing room and asked if he could just look at them while masturbating

offered to come with ringo to see his sick daughter even though he was dying from cancer 

got a black eye once for defending ringo 

would make paul and john share rooms with ringo so they could make him feel more welcomed in the group 

once said he had an eight hour long erection 

lost his virginity to a german hooker with john, pete, and paul in the room 

a car enthusiast 

yoko once ate his biscuits at the studio and he called her a bitch for it 

he played violin in “all you need is love”

composed a soundtrack for a movie (wonderwall)

for most of his life he thought his birthday was feb. 25. but later on discovered it was feb. 24. he was born at 11:50 pm. 

he went to the same elementary school as john but they never met 

voted best actor out of the four 

helped broaden the beatles sound later on 

he was the first beatle to have a solo act hit #1

[youcantfiremebecauseiquit]

idk if u care but crispin gray recently had an interview about his entire career and it kind of changed my perspective of queenadreena…idk if for better or for worse lol. it was weird to see him so dismissive of a lot of his catalogue w katie except for ‘love your money’ just because that was the only remotely chart successful song. i get you want to be able to sustain yourself but jeez him and katie really had a weird back and forth relationship

Sorry i'm replying late, i've seen the interview pop up on Youtube but honestly i was too invested in university shit recently & generally not in the good mood for that but i'm planning to watch. How did it change your view on Queen Adreena, did he say something mean specifically on QA or Katie? I mean i gotta watch it but honestly? Not surprised in the slightest. A few years ago he was asked to describe fave songs he recorded throughout the years and he listed more of Daisy Chainsaw ones than anything else, with Love Your Money as number 1. The differences in their points of view are real something, Katie Jane absolutely HATED Love Your Money, same as Daisy Chainsaw. Kinda apparent he wanted bigger fame but DC dropped fast and QA failed to live up to their predictions.

i had a time when i liked to dig up old Queen Adreena interviews that are lost in the old internet & generally not available for years (which i planned to post on is-she-suffering but my investment in that site is... varied in its intensity). Also that was back in the days when i wrote Queen Adreena book during manic phase and tried to sell it but lost motivation Well since i don't do anything with that knowledge anyway i'll put what i know here as i love fan discussions

So they sure had/have odd back and forth love-hate relationship & that's the reason why their career went how it went. There's been a huge tension between them at some point. I'm sure you know she had a major mental breakdown (probably schizophrenic episode) after Daisy Chainsaw, or even beginning before her leaving, and then she went into isolation and lived with an old woman in Lake District for awhile. She left Daisy Chainsaw cause Crispin didn't want her to come up with her own songs (all of DC was by Crispin except for Lovely ugly brutal world by KJ).

They almost split up as Queen Adreena after Drink Me. The material for The Butcher and The Butterfly was written at different times, originally it was meant to be called Atom Bomb at Bikini but it was constantly delaying and they eventually recorded everything they've got live. So that's obvious right? But i was surprised to find out they were writing songs separately. Some of them (i forgot which though) were written by Katie Jane and Pete Howard's sons band (they're even credited) + some with Melanie Garside, Richard Adams + some other musician. Katie Jane didn't like it. They intended it to be their last album at the time. She also hated live at ICA show but they released it cause they were broke

But that's a digression. I just wanna say that at this point they were done with each other but kept pushing it. Katie had her own art projects and stuff, Crispin started Dogbones with Nomi and i just remember how vaguely pissed at Katie he waas in the interviews. Like he stressed that Dogbones is his number one priority and if Katie wants to do something with Queenadreena, she must wait til Dogbones have a break first or something, and it sounded oddly bitter.

RaCH and Djinn era are just so weird, they had opportunities but let them go in a way. I don't think many people know but they were huge demand in Japan. They entered album charts and were interviewed by 11 magazines and 6 (!)TV stations there (wtf happened to that material i want to know???). But they only played 5 times or less.

Katie said she considers the band dead but they decided they can try to play for a couple more months. But aside from that she 100% lost the interest in the band around Djinn. There's an interview where she says "the overall image is Crispin but the shape will change again at rehearsals". And you can hear it, it’s more blues rock than anything. IMO it's their worst production wise. Instruments are fine but Katie's voice is so badly produced that sometimes i find some songs fucking irritating, cause they didn’t cut out her breaths and the vocals are TOO LOUD, to the point of distorting. As if she stands too close to the mic. The album is fine but it feels unfinished.

And here we come back to Crispin... here's what he said after the QA split:

Why the Dogbones started? “I needed to work more than the previous band I was in was working, the previous band who shall remain nameless, haha… um… Queenadreena. I wanted to work more than the singer of Queenadreena wanted to work… so that’s why it started. Fine by me… but I really like to be in a band, I’m not a solo project kind of guy. The last album (‘Djin’) did come out in the UK, but it was so low key because Katie kind of disappeared so there was little point in promoting it. Personally it’s my favourite by far so it was a shame but there you go… So here are Dogbones, it’s not been an easy ride but we are trying very hard.

Ok so the bitterness is kinda apparent isn't it. I think there were two reasons why they argued so much, first musical differences. Katie at some point lost interest in loud rock music for some years and went the folk way in Ruby Throat. I have a theory that Taxidermy and Drink Me are more influenced by Katie Jane and Butcher and Djinn are more Crispin. During first albums i think Katie more actively took part in music composition and choosing arrangements. She wrote lyrics, melodies but also composed a lot of songs on some little electronic keyboard thing and 4 track (Heavenly Surrender, Pray for me, My Silent Undoing, all Lalleshwari +more). Plus she wanted more peaceful/dreamy sound on Taxidermy than full on rock, Crispin complained about it in some 00's interview, that he'd like it to be more rock. Then there are 2 versions of Drink Me, the original has rough and alt versions of songs (it was sold by Katie and it's leaked on FB and probably YT). Crispin Gray apparently really hated the final Drink Me. Now next album is The Butcher & The Butterfly and it's more standard blues rock, no more crazy dreamy things of previous albums etc., Djinn is even more blues rock but darker. Djinn was his favourite at some point while KJ hated Butcher, not sure about Djinn. So i think they had different views on where they should go, Katie made her weird simplistic creepy tunes (like Lalleshwari) and folk melodies adding that strange things to noise rock. Crispin probably wanted blues & rock.

Other than that, i’m convinced they are bitter exes, lol. There’s been rumours about them dating during Daisy Chainsaw for years, plus Katie had a history of dating band members. Crispin wrote X-ing off the days about her. I don’t know if they dated again in Queen Adreena. Then there’s this interview, timeline is unclear, either The butcher & the butterfly or later:

„Katie writes all the songs herself and often looks for melodies and structure with the drummer. With Crispin - her husband or ex-husband, which is not entirely clear to me - for almost three years she has no longer been in a room. "Sometimes we send him a letter with a new song and that's all we can do. All we have are our lungs and our musical talent and we have to do with it. It is repugnant difficult life, I know most of the time how I should deal with it." But Queenadreena will still remain even exist? "I think so, we are now pretty busy and I see where the ship aground.”

I always wondered what exactly happened after Djinn, i’ve seen Katie Jane say „i think they gave up on me” while others said she disappeared. Other times CG said there’s no bad blood between them but at the same time there’s been some weird tension.  As of recent i thought they reconnected somehow through the internet and had a good relation but who really knows.s

I get why Crispin gets irritated when people compare everything he does to „stealing from KJ” but honestly, he gave them good reasons, at least in the 90’s. I can believe Starsha Lee singer isn’t copying Katie cause she’s from Brazil or something and she didn’t know Queen Adreena before. But everything else… Crispin’s problem is that he doesn’t know what he wants. He spent 90’s chasing something, tried singing himself, had girl singer replacements and even one KJ copy. Dogbones was ironically his most original non-Katie band, even with all their grunge influences. In a way he wants to be a frontman and at the same time doesn’t. Idk if he’s very controlling, but Daisy Chainsaw shows he valued his songs/lyrics first & in Queen Adreena he had to step back a lot, cause Katie’s condition was she would be in charge of the lyrics. I don’t think he realizes how strongly Daisy Chainsaw issues affected Katie, i mean from her own words you can read that aside from media attention/hate, her being unable to write lyrics had a role in her breakdown. I think she now let go but for years she hated remembering Daisy Chainsaw and she felt kind of worthless cause she was only somebody else’s mouthpiece. I’m not trying to say he’s cruel or anything, but i firmly believe rock lyrics writers should sing their own songs or else there are problems.

They both were writers-composers with different vision and i have impression they struggled a lot while shaping their songs, cause they both stuck to their ideas. Hence 2 versions of Princess Carwash maybe. Katie once said that he „gets terribly upset with her” cause she writes her songs on a simple wind organ and uses a few chord buttons only. Clash of writer ways/personalities/egos and at some point they had to let go.

Maybe he prefers music/bands where he was 100% in control including lyrics (note he wrote/sang some lyrics in Dogbones too). Daisy Chainsaw achieved bigger success US and UK wise as they were offered to play Top of The Pops, and they’re more well liked/remembered by „general alt public”. Queen Adreena however is way more valued as a cult band, with cult following and admiration in UK & France. Most people think Pretty Like Drugs and other QA songs are his best work and he probably finds it irritating cause truth is, he never managed to be more successful than Daisy Chainsaw/Queenadreena. Love Your Money is ironically the least Crispin Gray/DC/QA sounding song in my opinion. I kinda find it irritating that he downplays Queen Adreena cause it was probably his best work in this band but whatever

So yeah sorry for the word spill, that’s what i can think of it right now but as i said, i haven’t watched the interview yet, it’s just this kind of treatment is in a way consistent for him

[shemakesmusic-uk]

Alt-pop newcomer LVRA (pronounced loo-rah, real name Rachel Lu) has shared her first new track of 2021, ‘DEAD’. Following up on 2020’s debut EP LVCID, she explains: “There’s a unique power you gain when you stop caring about what people think of you. It’s an ongoing battle, though, and ‘DEAD’ is about the conflict between the fantasy of not caring and how you feel in reality. The video captures that, with a version of myself who has her shit together and another that is fighting to survive.The use of red represents fear in the human condition, but in Chinese culture it also symbolises happiness. One rarely comes without the other.” The track – a cultural mix that matches LVRA’s heritage with bleeding edge ultra HD pop – is the first taster of a second EP, which is set to follow later this summer. You can check out an Oscar McNab (Lacuna Common, Oscar Lang). directed video above. [via Dork]

Los Angeles artist Wallice follows debut single 'Punching Bag' with new coming of age anthem, '23'. Wallice finds herself caught between two places on fresh cut, '23'. “Too old to be a runaway”, but also too young to consider herself as grown up, the 22-year old yearns for a past that still has not happened yet. Working with producer David Marinelli since her return to California, Wallice has crafted a sound that is unique without taking itself too seriously. An angst-driven remonstration at the powerlessness of her age, '23' is also the clearest stamp of her musical identity to date. The expression of this purgatory is a cathartic garage-rock headbanger complemented beautifully by Wallice’s playful lyrics. “I just can't wait to be / all grown up and 23,” she admits in the song’s irresistible chorus. “Tell me what is wrong with me / I miss my Ohio fake ID”. In artfully portraying the limbo state of the age, Wallice describes the events in her life that have led to her own disaffection. “It’s hard not to compare your own professional success to that of your similarly aged peers. I dropped out of university in New York after studying Jazz Voice for a year, and my dad was VERY disappointed, to say the least, so it was hard not to feel like a loser in that sense. “The specific age 23 doesn’t have any milestones associated with it, but it’s more the idea of just looking forward to the future,” Wallice continues on the meaning of the track. "Much like how people ‘reset’ every new year, it’s comparable to be ‘older and wiser’ with each birthday, but instead of constantly looking to the future, it is important to be happy with where you are”. [via Line Of Best Fit]

Coach Party have shared their new single 'Everybody Hates Me'. The Isle of Wight group are gearing up to release their incoming EP, with After Party pitting their potent indie pop influences against bittersweet lyricism. Out shortly, the EP is teased by new thumper 'Everybody Hates Me', with Coach Party adding a neat gloss to their guitar pop sound. Out now, 'Everybody Hates Me' comes equipped with a neat video steered by Daniel Broadley. Vocalist Jess Eastwood comments: “‘Everybody Hates Me’ isn’t a metaphor for anything; it’s literally about those times when you convince yourself that everyone, including your best friends don’t actually like you, and your self-confidence is so low that you don’t even blame them. Disguise that sentiment in an up-beat singalong, and there you have the third single from our new record. The video is a direct extension of the song. It swings between the insecurities of feeling like you’re not good enough amongst your friends, and the sense of unity you get from those same people when you finally wake up from your rut. Everyone feels that way from time to time, but you gotta remember that sometimes your irrational self is going to take over. And when it does, try to remember that you’re awesome, and your friends really are your friends.” [via Clash]

Pussy Riot have gone hyperpop on their latest song 'Toxic'. The Dorian Electra collaboration features glitched out production by Dylan Brady of 100 gecs and tackles a relationship gone bad. Written, directed, and edited by Pussy Riot’s Nadya Tolokonnikova, the music video features jarring, bloody imagery matching Brady’s production. “Care about yourself, cherish your mental health, and stay away from relationships that poison you!” Tolokonnikova writes in the YouTube description. “Amen.” In the song’s lyrics, Tolokonnikova tells off an ex. “You are my daily poison so annoying,” she sings. “You’re even more toxic than my employer.” The hook continues the theme. “This combo is deadly — ’cause we used to be friendly,” Electra laments. “And now my heart is a weapon / You made me… toxic.” [via Consequence of Sound]

Baby Queen has dropped a brand new track, ‘These Drugs’. Bella Latham’s second new track of the year – following up on the anthemic ‘Raw Thoughts’ – she explains in an Instagram post: “This is a story I really needed to tell you and I didn’t know how to for a long time. When I first wrote this song, I honestly didn’t think I was going to be allowed to release it or that releasing it would be a particularly good idea. It just felt really important and that’s all I’ve ever wanted music to be; so I knew I had to share it with you.I was in a very bad place at the time… very depressed and convinced I wasn’t a good person and didn’t deserve good things. Life is different now. I’m happy. I’ve learnt that the antidote to my misery is gratitude and caring about myself even when I don’t want to, until it becomes a habit. It’s natural to look for escapism but there’s more freedom in working to build a life you like… and by that I literally just mean learning to love yourself. You, with all your scars and all your regrets, are home to an actual life! You’ve been through so much and you’ve come out the other side stronger because of it – it’s remarkable really. You’ve got to invite the sad parts of yourself in to have a tea party with you. Don’t ignore them and cover them up. If you don’t look at them, they’ll make themselves seen! You are so worthy of love and I hope that if you don’t see that yet, you will learn to in time. Anyways guys,” she finishes, “this is all very intense. I love you very much and I hope you can understand and relate in some way.” [via Dork]

Greentea Peng has shared her new single 'Nah It Ain’t The Same'. The UK neo-soul voice is an outstanding talent, someone who pushes herself further into that hip-hop / jazz nexus with each release. Produced by Earbuds, new single 'Nah It Ain't The Same' is out now, one that reflects the chemistry she has with her live band The Seng Seng Family. Dipping into drum 'n' bass, her vocals have a calming, beatific feel, with 'Nah It Ain't The Same' tugging at matters personal. She comments: “Deliberations of a (hu) MAN, subject to the pendulum's swing, I give you ‘Nah It Aint The Same’ off my album MAN MADE. An expression and exploration of my utter confusion and inner conflicts amidst shifting paradigms.” Greentea Peng stars in the new video, with Machine Operated sculpting the video. [via Clash]

renforshort has debuted a brand new single, ‘virtual reality’. The first taster of a forthcoming second EP, the track sees her “connect” with Kellen Pomeranz (Pom Pom), Jesse Fink and Beabadoobee collaborator Pete Robertson. “’virtual reality’ is a song that tackles many topics. But at its core, it really is about anxiety, routine, boredom, isolation, loneliness, and fear,” she explains. “I think a lot of people have a very unhealthy relationship with technology because it’s never really been restricted enough to consider mental health and overall health, and that has fucked so many people up, now more than ever. Ever since I was young, social media has played a major role in my mental wellbeing, and I became so accustomed to it, it became a part of my routine and it came before everything else. The moment I wake up, almost instinctively, I check my phone. Depending on what I see in the morning, basically determines how I’m gonna feel for the rest of the day. I hate it. But I can’t stop. And what’s most ironic about this all is you’re likely going to read this on social media or listen to the song on some sort of electronic device…” [via Dork]

Flock of Dimes has shared the second single from her forthcoming album Head of Roses, out April 2 via Sub Pop. Following recent single, 'Two', 'Price of Blue' is another standout from Wasner’s second solo LP, an album that showcases her ability to embrace new levels of vulnerability, honesty and openness, combined with the self-assuredness that comes with a decade-plus career as a songwriter, producer, multi-instrumentalist and prolific collaborator. It comes accompanied by an unearthly new video filmed in black and white, co-directed by Wasner with Graham Tolbert. Wasner says: “This song is about trying, and failing, to connect. It’s about the ways in which, despite our best efforts, we misunderstand each other, and become so attached to stories that we’re unable to see the truth that’s right in front of us. And it’s about the invisible mark that another person can leave on your body, heart and mind long after their absence. It can be difficult to make sense of the memory of your experience when the reality on the surface is always shifting—when the story you’re telling, or the story you’ve been told, unravels, leaving you with a handful of pieces and no idea how they used to fit together.”

Berlin-based indie-soul five-piece, People Club, announce their new EP Take Me Home, which is due May 7 and the band are sharing the title-track and new video. The title track 'Take Me Home' is a song about the realisation of mortality in old age and the cynicism that often plights the elderly after losing their loved ones and being left alone with their regrets. It is accompanied by a music video shot by long standing collaborator, Felix Spitta. Speaking of the process the band say, “Once again we worked with our very talented friend, Felix Spitta, who also shot the video for our last single Francine.  We basically spent a day fooling around at his house with a smoke machine and an old tape TV camera with a red filter.  The result is hazy and disorientating, just like this year has been so far.”

Introducing MARY., the dreamy alter-ego of musician and songwriter Stef T. The self-produced debut track, ‘Day to Day’, interlaces elements of electro-pop and R&B with a voice that enchants, along with an official video filmed, edited and directed by David Risdon and Charlie Rose Creative. Reading like a page in a diary, ‘Day to Day’ offers a candid and emotionally raw glance at being overlooked as a woman in a man’s world. She is put together, glamorous and poised on the outside, but on the inside she is simmering like a pot ready to boil over, fed-up and on the brink of snapping. Speaking of the track, Stef T explains, “’Day to Day’ is a reflection on what it is to be a woman in a role where you are always unseen; constantly giving yet never receiving. As woman, we are often undervalued for our day to day work in all aspects - as mothers, in relationships, in our careers; having to push extra hard to get the basic recognition and thanks that we are entitled to. This song is a commentary of a large part of my life where I settled, sacrificed and worked, only to be used and taken for granted. It is about learning to survive a toxic relationship, discover your own individual worth again and reclaim the power that you gave away to someone else. Producing this song myself is the only thing that made sense in context with the intention of MARY. as a project. She is an entirely self made, independent woman, who does it all and doesn't need a man to confirm that she's doing a good job. This is something I have personally struggled with, so I created the MARY. persona to feel more empowered in my storytelling as an artist, in an industry without a large visible number of female-identifying producers.”

Los Angeles based dream pop trio Tashaki Miyaki have just released a single and video of the title song from their forthcoming second album, Castaway, which will be released on April 23 via Metropolis Records. Singer, drummer and producer Paige Stark states that the song “is about the challenges of romantic love and how we are all bad at it in one way or another. The idea of a castaway in all this is that no one understands the relationship except the people in it, so you really are stuck on an island alone together there. Maybe you make it back to the mainland, or maybe you stay on the island.” Stark also shot the Sofia Coppola-inspired video on film, adding: "I wanted to tap into all the feelings that can come up in love relationships: anger, sadness, loneliness, vulnerability, stillness, joy, romance, longing. The actress in it has a beautifully expressive face and I've known her for a long time. I knew we would be able to create those moments together. I wanted it to feel like the camera was her lover, capturing her in various private moments, moods and feelings.”

With her Vanilla Shell EP celebrating its one-year anniversary last month, Danish-Chilean composer Molina is back with another abbreviated record in the form of the new single 'Cold,' featuring vocalist Jonas Bjerre, arriving with a pair of B-sides. The brief collection of songs continues her simultaneous journey inward toward the roots of Chilean music and outward into her own unique vision of the future. The project lands with a video for the A-side, which dreams up bizarre fantasy iconography in the tradition of Grimes and Björk to complement her subdued take on these artists’ out-there recordings. Blending ambiguous electronic sounds with the familiar drone of cello and Bjerre’s backing vocals, the track’s distinct persona may have more in common with the experimental soundscapes of artists like Jenny Hval or Julia Holter. [via Flood]

Maisie Peters has debuted her brand new single, ‘John Hughes Movie’. Described as the first single from her soon to be announced debut album, it’s a song about unrequited love, inspired by the legendary film producer and his classic coming-of-age teen comedies like The Breakfast Club and Sixteen Candles. The track comes alongside a video co-written by Maisie and director Louis Bhose (Loyle Carner, Arlo Parks, Lewis Capaldi). Maisie explains: “I wrote ‘John Hughes Movie’ when I was 17 about a house party that I had gone to. It’s a really honest depiction of being a hopeless, melodramatic teenager, being awkward and drunk and getting your heart broken by people you don’t even remember anymore. John Hughes films encapsulate that foolish romantic energy of high school and everything that I, a small town English wannabe Molly Ringwald wanted to be, but was not.” [via Dork]

Chloe x Halle have shared the music video for their song 'Ungodly Hour.' The video was debuted on Wedneday night's episode of The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon and shows the Bailey sisters going underwater for a sci-fi-style visual filled with choreography and elaborate adventures at the bottom of the ocean. Watch the Alfred Marroquín-directed video above. [via The FADER]

South London's Josie Man has returned with sentimental new single 'Cuts & Bruise', marking her first release of 2021. 'Cuts & Bruises' follows October 2020's 'Grow' single, and is accompanied by a Andrea Mae-directed video that shows couples enjoying tender moments, including Josie Man and her boyfriend. [via Line Of Best Fit]

Jessie Ware has shared a new short film for her song 'Remember Where You Are'. Her album What's Your Pleasure? arrived last year, a disco-fuelled missile that presented some much-needed good vibes amid lockdown. The songwriter returns to the record for her song 'Remember Where You Are', a soulful and uplifting slice of UK songwriting. There's now a full video for the song and it's steered by BAFTA winning director Dominic Savage. Starring British actress Gemma Arterton, it opens on Valentine's Day and finds the star wandering through deserted London streets. A glimpse of hope and renewal, it taps into the growing feeling that this time, lockdown might be coming to a permanent end. "It was a real pleasure to collaborate with Jessie and Gemma on this short film that is inspired by Jessie Ware’s beautiful music. It was also inspired by the real feeling that was felt when we filmed in the deserted streets of eerily strange lockdown London on a Saturday night/Sunday morning,” Dominic said. “The feelings and emotions in the film are a true reflection of what that felt like, and what this time invokes. Sadness, nostalgia, pain and defiance. But when we climbed Primrose Hill and the sun started to rise above the city, there was real hope and joy for a future that will surely be ours. Listening to Jessie’s music. There is no doubt of that." Jessie adds... "This song has always meant a lot to me and I was determined for other people to hear it and for it to be single. I am so touched by how many people have embraced this song, particularly when it's one of your favourite actresses and an acclaimed film director. Working with Gemma, Dominic and their team has been an absolute joy. To have them realise my song with a beautiful ode to London and the longing for human touch and interaction couldn't be more of a compliment. It's a truly cherished piece of work." [via Clash]

Jaguar Jonze has shared her new single and video 'CURLED IN' ahead of the release of her second EP ANTIHERO on April 16, both via Nettwerk Records. 'CURLED IN' presents all her best qualities at its outset. From the track’s rip-roaring, slicing guitar to her perfectly forceful, omnipresent vocals, 'CURLED IN' is a pure cathartic release. "Tear me apart, just tear me apart," she all but demands: "I've never seen wrong be done right." She's fulfilling her simplest needs, and it's freeing. "It's a bit of a twist for me to be a masochist." As a survivor of abuse, these words' unafraid power is all too apparent and an engaging statement to hear expressed.

Following the release of eclectic and impressive debut singles 'ASOS,' 'Right Time,' and 'Papercut,' rising left-of-center pop singer and songwriter Dava returns with a fresh and bold new single 'New Ceilings' available now via Sony Music's Disruptor Records. The moody anti-pop record was co-written by Dava and Mike Adubato (Del Water Gap, Grace VanderWaal) who also produced the track, and is the latest off the Los Angeles-based musician's forthcoming debut EP, Sticky, due out later this year. On the inspiration behind her new single, Dava shares, "This song was written about survival and staying true to yourself. I was having a hard time financially after moving to LA and my phone was shut off while on my way to this session. I was upset with myself for prioritizing music when I really needed the money from driving Uber to stay afloat." She continues, "The day I wrote 'New Ceilings' I was angry and I wanted a song that felt empowering and validated all the work I had put in up to that point. I ended up choosing different songs for my project but when I revisited this one year later, I felt it needed to be heard because of how authentically it embodies my struggle."

London-based Fifi Rong, a multi-talented avant-pop songstress, has shared the video for her stunning single, ‘Another Me’. Directed by Rok Pat, the video for ‘Another Me’ is stylistically simplistic, as Fifi Rong uses her own body as a medium of art, painting herself and inviting the simple imagery of waterside reeds and plants. A tranquil mysticism embraces the single as Fifi Rong acts as a gentle siren, luring the unsuspecting in yet known the inevitable outcome of the relationship. Speaking of the concept behind the single and video, Fifi Rong tells us: “In any doomed romance, timing is always mysteriously wrong. This is my first full CGI music video and it visually portrays the elusive nature of the character surrounding the key message: 'you won't find another me'. The undertone of the song displays a sense of pride and confidence in the character’s melancholy. Dressed in nothing but petals, I wanted my character to symbolise purity, nature, truthfulness, vulnerability and the divine feminine form. Acting as a rotating statue, I wanted to mark the passing of time and seasons as if a unique and lonely piece of art on display.”

[winterswhumpblr]

Out of sheer boredom I created a one shot Peter Pan AU. Wendy’s a teenage writer who currently lives alone; Peter is her childhood friend, let the fluffy romance commence!

She sighed closing her book and moving the blankets over her shoulders, the winds breeze had chilled her to the bone. She looked out her window, the city looks so pretty at night-time she thought, her apartment was on the highest floor of her block, so she had the best Birdseye view of The city of London. Her home away from home, it reminded her a lot of her first home, back in New York City.

She smiled as she thought back to her fondest memories in the states. She wished she could go back there one last time, but as the first rain droplets fell from the sky, she was reminded why that would never happen. She moved from her spot on the single bed to lean against her window sill, she reached out and opened her sliding window as far as it would go, keen on listening to the rain fall.

She sat there in silence for awhile, her head rested on her hands which were being propped by her elbows that dug into the wooden ledge. The rain poured on and she could feel the spark of her creativity flow through her once more. She turned her head towards her bedside table where a leather discarded notebook lay underneath her fathers old fountain pen.

She ignored the pain that erupted in her chest as she grabbed both items, she didn’t want to think about that now; her fingers were itching to write. She opened the bookmarked page and read over what she had written last, it was a simple story about a love sick girl who wished she could stay young forever and a heartbroken boy who longed for a future where he could call her his.

She didn’t think too much about the words she was drawing with ink as she wrote, she let magic do it’s thing, it could be corrected later on. As the rain poured and she released her thoughts into her writing she swore she could hear footsteps come from outside.

She looked around her plain bedroom, the door was closed, her wheeled chair dormant beside her aged desk. Her wardrobe stood by the door leaving a large open area in the middle of her bedroom where she could walk around. No one was around, she lived alone, John and Michael lived with her aunt in the states.

She thought nothing of it as she took a break and stared up at the moon, it always looked so lonely in the sky, even though it was surrounded by thousands of stars she still couldn’t help but feel bad.

She cleared her throat, “why is it the loneliest souls are often found surrounded by people?”

“Because the more people that surround you, the more alone you seem to feel.” She didn’t expect a reply of any sort and whirled her head around, a boy floated at her window, completely and utterly drenched.

She exclaimed, “Peter! You’re going to catch a cold” he laughed and tried to tell her he doesn’t get sick but she had already sped off to her bathroom to grab a clean towel.

He climbed into her bedroom through the window and floated past her bed and onto her desk chair carefully, he didn’t want to get her sheets wet. She had come back in a flash, warm white towel ready to be used.

He smiled at her, “Wendy! You’ve returned” she nodded her head, “here’s the towel Peter, bend your head for me” he did as she asked and she got to work at drying his hair.

He looked around the room, spotting her journal almost instantly, “you working on something new?” She shook her head, “no, I was trying to finish the story before you came in.

He pouted, “but you were talking to me, if I had known you were writing I wouldn’t have answered.” Wendy laughed, “oh Peter, I wasn’t talking to you, I was talking to the moon!”

He looked up to face her, her hands around his neck as the towel stayed put. “What do you mean, talking to the moon?”

Wendy smiled and continued to dry his hair, “you see, when I was a child my mother would tell me the story of the man on the moon. He was a lonely old man who didn’t have a friend in the world.” Peter narrowed his eyes, “not a single friend? Not even his shadow?”

Wendy shook her head, “not even a shadow friend. The moon took pity on him because of this you see, so she summoned him to her.” Peter made a face “the moons not a girl!” Wendy rolled her eyes, “she is Pete, and what’s more, she made him her protector! He had a job to do and someone to speak to finally.”

Peter smiled, “kind of how I’m your protector, huh, Wen?” Wendy stopped drying his hair, she looked at him sternly, “I don’t need you to be my protector, Pete, I need you to be my friend.”

Peter blushed, “you mean that, Wen? You really mean that?” Wendy smiled at Peter who beamed, “wow! I promise I’ll be the best friend you could ask for Wendy, you’ll see!”

“You already are Peter.” Wendy whispered it so quiet she was sure he couldn’t hear her, but she was wrong. Peter stood up abruptly which startled Wendy so much she slipped on the puddle he created and almost fell back.

Peter had thought fast on his feet, he grabbed her hands and pulled her up gently. She locked eyes with him, “you okay, Wen?” Wendy blushed and looked down which made Peter smirk.

He looked around the room again, “say, what kind of instrument do you use for music?”

“Hm?”

“Oh, you know, so we can listen to music who do you have to call?” Wendy laughed, “we don’t need to call anyone, Pete, I have my speaker for that.”

He waited patiently as she scrolled through her phone for a song, he had asked her a bajillion questions about her phones use, and, Wendy couldn’t help but think how much Peter missed out on in Neverland.

She chose some piano music and hummed along to it as she dimmed the lights in her bedroom, Peter faked a yawn, “this is what you call music? It’s not even upbeat! How can we dance to this?”

Wendy pushed her hair behind her ears and got Peter back on his feet, he had whined and asked what she was doing but she hushed him immediately.

She grasped his hand, placing one on the small of her back and intertwining the other with her own. She showed him the steps and as the rain continued to pour they danced in her bedroom.

Her head fit perfectly in the crook of his neck since he stood almost a head taller. She closed her eyes and listened to the rain, for the first time in what felt like a really long time, she was happy.

“Say, Wendy?” She hummed, “yes Peter?” He moved to look down at her and she stared up at him, his chocolate eyes glistened in the moonlight and she found herself wanting to lean in.

“Would you like to share a kiss?” She blinked, “what?” He flushed, his cheeks becoming the same colour as his red hair, “well, I mean, you said you only kiss someone special and I know I’m just me but I thought maybe-”

Wendy cut him off with a kiss, his lips gently kissed her back and she smiled into the kiss. It was innocent yet so filled with love, Wendy couldn’t have asked for a better first kiss.

She broke off and he let out a breath, “wow, I don’t know what to-”she rolled her eyes, “shut up and kiss me.”

He did what she asked and as they embraced each other, the moonlight almost giving them their own spotlight with the soft chime of a piano mixing and the rain in the background; Wendy couldn’t help but think she wanted to stay there with him forever.

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Let me know what you thought☀️