#even though it would absolutely kill me to lose the music and if all of the voice cast couldn't come back </3

[fullscoreshenanigans]

@palomalexa hi hello you can't just tease that on one of my posts without including at least a snippet of said thesis

[do-you-ship-it-polls]

Which Toxic Yaoi is the best

Sequel to the toxic yuri poll. I deeply apologise if some of these are not toxic, i went off of the propaganda

Propaganda under the cut!

BbKaz (Big Boss/Kazuhira Miller)

they have multitudes.. you can ship it as something goofy and fluffy or as the most toxic yaoi of all time and theyre both pretty reasonable interpretations. they go on a date together and have sex in a cardboard box on a beach in canon and a bunch of other crazy shit. their relationship spans 20 years so they span from honeymooning to divorced to one trying to kill the other etc. "love loses" the ship they make me insane

Flash/Reverse Flash

"It was ME Barry, I jerked you off at supersonic speeds so it would seem like you nutted at just a woman's touch!"

Possibly the most toxic yaoi of all time

SuzaLuLu (Kururugi Suzaku/Lelouch Lamperougue)

TOXIC YAOI TOXIC YAOI

SaruMi (Saruhiko Fushimi/Misaki Yata)

Toxic yaoi, obsessive boy joins a gang with his best friend but then his best friend makes other friends in the gang so he joins up with an enemy gang instead. Normal behavior.

Valvert (Jean Valjean/Javert)

They’re so obsessed with each other (especially javert to valjean) it’s like half of the plot. Pinnacle of toxic old man yaoi. Produces the funniest plot point in the show: Valjean (escaped convict in disguise as a mayor and businessman) saves someone by lifting a cart he was trapped under and Javert (cop trying to catch Valjean) goes “Damn girl… you remind me of this guy…. He’s the only guy I’ve ever seen who’s as swole and jacked as you”

Lawlight (Light/L)

"L and Light are the founding fathers of toxic yaoi" is what people WANT you to believe but these poor men are being slandered... You see it's ackshually totally heterosexual to give your bestie (who's also your mortal enemy) a foot massage while he he makes soft little grunting noises and wipes the water droplets from your rain-soaked hair all while a soft melancholic piano track is accompanying this surprisingly tender moment between the two of you- IF it's a religious callback to Jesus and Judas. It's just a Bible reference bro. No homo. 🤓☝

Anyhow don't google the Japanese version of "Playing his Game" (which is called "Inside of him" in Japanese) from the Death Note Musical. I assure you there is absolutely nothing gay about those lyrics.

Wdym people love shipping two mortal enemies with an unhealthy obsessive murderous rivaly??? What is the world coming to... Besides Light is clearly heterosexual. His lack of interest in women is because he's a based sigma male obviously...

and additional reason here but this one is a spoiler

Foot washing scene. The musical. God, they're so obsessed with each other. When L dies Light loses his main drive, his passion- being Kira isn't fun anymore without L, he isn't having a good time even though he won their battle of wits. Light being L's first friend. L being... really, the first person to understand Light. Theyre insane I love them

[quibbs126]

So I’ve been making this

So basically last night, I was listening to some music, specifically Not Gonna Die by Skillet, more specifically a version on YouTube with the intro (because I’m not the biggest fan of Good to be Alive where the intro actually is). Anyways, when it’s night, my imagination tends to be more active and I tend to have more energy. While listening to the song, I eventually got this mental image in my mind of this scene with Dark Choco, and the more it crystallized the more I wanted to draw it. I was going to go to sleep and maybe do it in the morning, but I realized that I probably would forget the vibe and not have as much energy, so instead I decided to power through and draw the idea

It was a bit difficult since I had limited references for the pose I wanted, and I suppose I can admit the sword looks a bit off anatomically, but it looks good enough I think, and lets me keep the eyes revealed

I did eventually have to stop drawing, because my iPad had been worked all the way down to 4% (and it was at 30% when I started, the poor thing), not to mention it was around 11:30 already which is pretty late for me, and my earbuds had been running nonstop for over 2 hours (yes I was listening to the same song, it’s how I keep the vibe). I was at least able to get the pose, base colors and lineart done, and I’m still pretty proud of where I left things last night

Today was mostly just doing the background and lighting, which admittedly I may have fumbled. I’m not very good at backgrounds and I didn’t know how to draw lightning. I tried my best, but honestly I don’t think I got the image in my head. Didn’t help that my brain was playing the wrong Skillet song this morning

Oh yeah and by the way, the background is supposed to be from this. That’s what I used as reference

The lightning both feels like too much and too little. Like, it’s crowding the picture, and I can’t have more because it’d be way too crowded with it, but also at the same time, it doesn’t feel like enough, like there isn’t as much power as I wanted

Actually wait, maybe I can add some small particle effects to like, enhance the lightning feel. That was in the original sketch but I omitted it in the final. If you see one with that, you know I did that

Edit: I did indeed do that

To be fair though, I don’t think I have the art skill to properly convey the image in my head. Basically the scene is that Dark Choco is using absolutely every amount of his power for this final swing down, so much that it’s too powerful and the Strawberry Jam Sword completely shatters. But also it’s too powerful that Dark Choco’s body simply can’t handle it, and he basically ends up exploding. The scene depicted would be the wind up to that final swing that destroys the both of them

This isn’t necessarily the first time I’ve come up with this scenario, and the setup would basically be that he turned on the Cookies of Darkness slightly earlier, because he didn’t want to destroy his homeland again, and he tried to get rid of them while in the kingdom but not yet at the Citadel, but he ended up failing, so with nothing to lose, he chases after them and decides to put everything into destroying them, even if it likely ends in his death. After this he probably killed Pomegranate and crippled Licorice in some way (I don’t think he’d attack Poison Mushroom), so his final act did have some effect, but he’s still dead by the end of it. And he and his father never got the chance to properly reconcile because Dark Choco thought that could never be a possibility anymore and he had resigned himself to his fate

But yeah, I just don’t know how to convey that sheer overwhelming power and emotion that this scenario suggests. I tried my best though

I also want to submit this to the Dark Cacao Forever contest, but I’m not sure if it’s good enough for it. What do you think?

[folkloresthings]

hello hello hello !!! i just want to say i love love LOVE your fics, esp the oscar ones… the one you posted a few hours ago 🥺 my heart 🥺

i saw your post about oscar requests and i thought it’s meant to be because i’ve been listening a lot to taylor these last few days! could i maybe request osc and “all of the girls you loved before”? 🤭 hope you’re having wonderful day sweetheart!! 💓

-@httpiastri

this song. this man. thank u @httpiastri

ALL OF THE GIRLS YOU LOVED BEFORE. ❨ oscar piastri x reader ❩

despite being young, you weren’t stupid. you knew millions of women would kill to be with your boyfriend. you knew that, before you’d met, he had girls hanging off of his arm every weekend. you knew he’d had girlfriends before, flings and flirtations. but for six whole months, he’d been yours and yours only.

he never spoke about his ex’s, just as you never spoke about yours. you didn’t need to — you were too wrapped up in your love for each other to care about anyone else. that was, of course, until you went home with him.

the australian grand prix meant meeting oscar’s family for the first time. it went perfectly, an absolute dream. his mother adored you, fawning over you every second you stayed in her home. you, too, were her biggest fan. she’d raised the man you loved, bringing him up loyal and kind and everything you had fallen for.

being in his hometown meant bumping into other people from his life, or his past. even the ones you didn’t want to.

“oh, hey! y/n, right?” the bar was loud so you could barely hear the girl over the music. you nodded, smiling, and took a sip of your drink.

“yeah, that’s me! hi!”

the girl smiles back at you, but its one that makes you uneasy. a judging sort of smile, one that takes all over your features. all of a sudden, you hate the dress you chose and the way you’ve done your hair. this girl is stunning, all tanned and beach waves.

“i’m jessica,” she tells you, assured. “i used to go to school with oscar.”

your eyes light up, loving to hear from people who knew oscar long before you did. you look around for your boyfriend, but he’s off somewhere with lando.

“he’s around here somewhere — have you bumped into him yet?” you ask, innocent and sincere.

“no, not yet. i’m dying to see him though.”

you engage in as much painful small talk as you can, your gut twisting uncomfortably as you concur that this girl knows something you don’t. you only relax when you feel a familiar hand on your waist, oscar’s lips pressing in greeting to your head.

“hi, baby,” he murmurs, eyes going a little wide when they find the other girl’s. “jessica?”

“hey, os!” she greets brightly, reaching across to hug him, awkward from where his hand never leaves your waist. “i was just talking to your new little girlfriend here. have you taken her to all of your spots yet?”

your brows furrow towards the girl and she smirks.

“oscar used to take me to all these special places around here when we were going out. i’m sure he’ll show you them, won’t you?”

“oh, you two dated?” you question, glancing between jessica and your boyfriend.

“yeah, for ages.”

“barely.”

the two speak at the same time, jessica’s cheeks going red from oscar’s answer. she was fighting a losing battle, and his grip on you was only getting tighter.

“me and y/n have our own places,” oscar states, gaze cold. “see you, jessica.”

he’s pulling you away from the scowling woman before you know it, out to the empty smoking garden and fresh air. his eyes screw shut, frustration pulling a low groan from him.

“shit, i’m so sorry. we dated for, like, a month when we were sixteen. she cheated a few times and only took interest when i started driving for F1,” he explains, breathless and panicked. “i swear, she means nothing. i can’t believe she tried to talk to you like that.”

“oscar, calm down,” you laugh fondly, taking his soft cheeks in your hands. he returns a pout, eyes all puppy dog like to make you melt. “it’s fine. i’m not bothered about her.”

“you’re not?” oscar sighs, relief shedding from him. “i thought you’d be… i don’t know, annoyed.”

“that you have a few ex—girlfriends?” if you couldn’t already be impossibly in love with him already, he was giving you a million reasons to be. “babe, all of those girls — all of the ones you loved before, they’ve made you the one i’ve fallen for.”

oscar visibly softens, and it fills you with so much emotion that you feel your chest seize. he squeezes at your waist, pulling you into a tooth—rotting kiss. you press against his soft, wine stained lips but he’s smiling too much into it that the kiss is lost in a sea of loving giggles.

“i never loved any girl the way i love you, you know,” oscar whispers, eyes raking over your love stricken face.

“not even your mum?” you smirk, poking his side.

“shut up,” oscar grins, kissing you again. “yeah, but don’t tell her that.”

[skeltrr]

woke up with the urge to talk about P1 again, and I got a request to share my thoughts on his diary entries.

lets find out why I really don't think p1 is secretly a good person worthy of any sympathy for his actions

I'm gonna start this off by saying that I truly believe not just anybody can be a killer. It's my opinion that Dude must have been a violent person before his delusions ever took hold. But that doesn't take away from the "this could happen to anybody" aspect. It could, if you incubate a guy in hate his whole life and hand him a gun, yeah, he could also turn out this way.

But I do not buy Dude's excuse that Paradise is absolutely an evil place that needs to be culled. Maybe it is dangerous, but his unreliable narration is something we shouldn't forget about.

Entry one. Dude is freaked out about losing his house and his stress/anxiety is obviously high. But it's important to note his solution to this is to buy a fuckin gun. Right off the bat we have his viscous and confrontational nature shining through. This also says he bought a sidearm, which generally refers to a pistol. I don't see why it would be any different here. Conceal and carry and all that.

This is not the only gun he owns, because we start the game with an AR.

And that tips me off to Dude planning his course of action at least a little bit. You don't need an AR (especially one illegally modified to be auto instead of semi-auto) more than you need a pistol in any given self-defense situation. Unless you think you will have multiple targets that need to be taken out in rapid succession, of course.

The rifle also has endless ammunition. Guess we can safely headcanon that he stocked up. For what? I DUNNO....

level 2 lets us know that immediately after shooting up his neighborhood, Dude is already stuck to the narrative that he is the only sane person around. He's trying to get to the sheriff, but it's not to help anyone but himself.

By level 3 he's already calling everyone animals. This is an important nod to how he views his fellow human beings. They're just animals. This 'sickness' has turned them into something he doesn't feel the need to empathize with. He has put himself on a huge pedestal here. Still not actively trying to save anyone, though.

Now he wants to napalm the whole town and he wants the Air Force to do it. He continues to be self-serving. 'Ensuring this madness doesn't contaminate the rest of the country' doesn't really ring out as a heroic statement after the things he's already done and said. I still think he's out to save his own skin by finding or creating some kind of safe haven.

It's important to note on this one that the "parade" was actually just a parade. These fools were literally just playing music down the street and Dude decided they were maniacs that needed to be put down. Not only that, after this experience he turns his diary into a "war journal". If his "me against them and that includes innocents" mindset hasn't become clear yet... Let's keep goin.

here he's just getting excited to have the advantage. Because I think he likes killing and the power that comes with it. He hasn't shown any remorse yet for any lives lost.

Now he's convinced himself he has to kill everyone and he's going to do it not only efficiently (what a wild word to use when referring to murder), but without any fucking remorse as well? I mean come on man, this guy thinks he's the dealer of divine punishment. And he isn't sparing anybody.

These two are the best evidence that he's trying to help anyone during this rampage of his, but these still sound incredibly self-serving to me. I mean, he does say he's going to warn them. I guess that's... Noble. Except that he doesn't even do that. He never mentions ever trying to do this at the train station or after. It's never brought up again.

Why he gotta kill the ostriches? They sick too? Or does he just like killin.

I feel like these are starting to speak for themselves. I'm still not seeing a savior complex or hidden compassion. Not seeing any tears for the lost on this one boys. also the "prepare for.... deconstruction!" is straight from the loading screens. The entire entry echoes what the demon's says.

Maybe he and the demon ain't so different, i dunno.

I don't take this one seriously. He is making jokes, he knows he's the deadliest thing out and about tonight.

The last 4 entries are just him worrying about his own skin again. Still not showing us any remorse because he famously regrets nothing. And at this point he just kinda seems tired of it all, I mean the game takes place over the course of a DAYS long spree.

I guess an argument could be made that the whole overarching plot of Dude trying to find the source of this 'infection' and put himself in harms way to do it would be the proof he thinks himself a savior. Howeverrrr.... If he does think that of himself, it has nothing to do with his compassion or his want to do good. This man is on a murder spree, his delusions are all wrapped up in his distrust and dislike of the government, authorities and even general public. He is killing and elevating himself on an insane power trip while also remaining the victim in his own mind to justify his actions.

I do not think Dude is an especially good person at his core and I don't believe his delusions popped out of nowhere due to stress alone. I believe the "demon" and the delusion/hallucinations as a whole were tailored to Dude's already shitty nature, desires and fears.

Okay well... I guess that's all I got to say for now. See ya

[one-piece-aus]

Hii I hope your day is going well ! I was looking through your masterlist and saw your music hcs from a few years ago for the straw hats and I don't think you did the followup for supernova trio? I was wondering if i could request that myself or even music hcs for all supernovas if possible? Thank you :)

Ahoy! I sorta haven't been getting around to it like many of my other hcs and requests, but I am in the mood to do music related stuff! Also I've broaden my music tastes a lot since last time so I might need to update the Strawhats' later, but for now we're here for-

Music Genres/Artists the Supernovas Listen to (Headcanons)

Law

If your first thought is that he listens to the most edgiest emo music there is, you're absolutely right!/hj

Okay, but being real here, he's gonna be picky about the edgy music, I'd say it leans more to moody rather than depressed

Songs like that would be Something in the Way and Heart-Shaped Box by Nirvana, Paint it Black by Rolling Stones, Natural, Bones and (maybe) Enemy by Imagine Dragons, Heathens and Stresssd Out by Twenty One Pilots, Losing My Religion by R.E.M. , Crying Lightning by Artic Monkeys, Duvet by Bòa

Crazy by Gnarls Barkley was 1000% played a repeat nurmous times

Can be found at 1 am - 3 am listening and sometimes singing Wake Me Up Inside/hj

Oblivion by Dirty Palm on the other hand is played here and there but he's not too much a fan of bass songs unless he is at the club drunk and dancing all that stress & trauma off (love that one rave Law fanart )

Viva La Vida by Coldplay is a classic favorite for him

You know, he probably listens to Maneater by Daryl Hall because Dr. Heart Stealer gives those vibes

Enjoys the SIAMÉS album Bounce Into The Music but would also find comfort in their album Home

His go to genres would be soft rock or alternative rock but isn't opposed when it comes to certain pop songs like Don't You Worry Child (catch him at the right time and he will get emotional over that song)

Enjoys the older stuff & independent artists (I remember reading Law is German so many he'd like German music?)

Artists he listens to: Nirvana, Coldplay, Three Doors Down, Franz Ferinard, Artic Monkeys, The Score, Imagine Dragons, and Fall Out Boy

Kid

Metal Music

Was that not obvious?

Loves the classics

Metallica, Guns & Roses, Thrasher, Black Sabbath, Rob Zombie, Three Days Grace, Smashing Pumpkins

He enjoys rock

The Offspring, Foo Fighters, Skid Row, Rolling Stones, Finger Eleven, Ozzy Osborne, AC/DC

He enjoys some new bands like Yungbund, Blacklite District, and Goku Luck

I know there's pirate metal but he gives more viking metal vibes (does listen to both)

You know he's jamming out to the second Death Note opening & Kaiju No. 8's opening

Traitor by Daughtry and Unstable by Chaotica

He might like phonk

Says rap is crap (who's gonna tell him Goku Luck is hiphop)

Allergic to Country/serious

Is the kind of Metalhead that says Nu Metal is not Metal

Psst, can I let you in on a little secret? He secretly listens to Lady Gaga, don't tell anyone or he'll kill you

Killer

Listens to most of the stuff Kid does but also has his own tastes

Nickel Back, Coldplay, Valley of Wolves, Unsecret, Skillet, One OK Rock, Meatloaf, Opal in Sky, Okamoto, The Cranberries, and Man With a Mission

Killer is more familiar with sea shanties than Kid

He enjoys listening to Uta (Ado), his favorite song of hers would be Gira Gira because he does relate to the lyrics (he really wanted to go to her concert but the crew probably got caught up doing business on another island and missed it)

Secretly would go to a 90s pop rave, waving glowsticks as artists like 2 Unlimited blast through the speakers/silly

Is the kind of Metalhead that says Nu Metal is Metal (not in front of Kid though)

Also allergic to country/serious

Hawkins

Dark Academia and Goth Ambience

He enjoys the somber pianos, it's peaceful and helps him study

Organ pianos are pleasing to him as well, if played right

He might be able to play piano but the violin (which is another instrument he enjoys listening to) is tricky to find the rhythm he prefers

Does love classic violin yet finds the epic violin music videos on YouTube to be appealing

And if he’s not listening to that, meditation/ambiance music is playing

Unironically listens to background music from video games such as Minecraft or Genshin Impact

Moonlit Night from the Death Parade OST is one of his favorites

If you can't tell, he enjoys soothing instrumentals

Is a big fan of Tchaikovsky

Enjoys music from 90s Disney (Cinderella especially)

Absolutely listens to Phantom of the Opera! Look at this man! You can't tell me he doesn't!

Probably enjoys French love songs

Apoo

DJ Apoo is in the house and you know he's all about the funky music!

80s, 90s, 00s, 10s, and even 20s, he loves all the rave & bass boost songs

Eurodancer, Daft Punk, 2 Unlimited, it's all a bop

Hip-hop & Rap are his jam (his taste for that would not be mine so you may list them here)

Apoo is pretty organized with his playlists, being a DJ and all, has most of them separated by genre

He thinks listening to music from Anime, Movies, and Video Games is stupid (*hands you your baseball bat*)

Drake

His ass is boring

He listens to whatever is playing on the radio

Not much of a music guy so he doesn't have any custom playlists

He might be fond of a few songs that come on the radio

Music to Drake is mainly just background noise when driving

While he doesn't mind someone playing their music, he prefers if he can understand the lyrics

Drake will easily get flustered if he hears spicy songs being played, especially if someone else is there, if he’s alone he’s instantly changes the station

Bonney

Popstars by KDA

I think her taste leans to rebellious as in "Fuck you, I do what I want"

So her taste can go from Don't Threaten Me With a Good Time by Panic At The Disco, to Seven Nation Army by White Stripes

Artists she listens to on the regular would be The Offspring, Panic At The Disco, BTS(?), P!nk, Fallout Boy, Cozmez, Fake Type, UNSECRET, and Eminem

Maybe a few Kelly Clarkson songs like Stronger and Since You've Been Gone

She does not like others putting on music, you can expect her to make a fuss if you try putting on something

Auxcord hog

Bege

The Godfather OST/hj

But for real he does like Italian instrumentals

Has a taste for soft love ballets

A few French and Spanish songs are appealing to him

He doesn't like pop, hip hop, rock, metal, or rap, and doesn't understand why the youth enjoy it so much

Except for 80s J-pop, he can see the appeal for songs such as Airport Lady by Toshiki Kadomatsu or Telephone Number by Junko Ohashi

And soft rock, specially the love songs like Just The Way You Are by Billy Joel or Can't Help Falling in Love With You by Elves (he just loves his wife, guys)

Urouge

So basing this off one of his hobbies Oda has confirmed

He loves seductive music, whether it’s playing in the background or he looking for something to listen to

Most played songs is Careless Whispers

Jazz and spicy pop are his top genres

Prime examples are: Mirrors by Natalia Kills, Sway by Michael Bublé, Pause by Pitbull, One More Night by Maroon 5, Stalker's Tango by Autoheart Lent

I could make playlists for them if y'all want but for now, do what you will with these headcanons, make your own playlists ✨️

[sangyeonsmuse]

THRILLRIDE | DAY 5

PAIRING Guitarist Younghoon x Antifan Reader

WORD COUNT | 3.5k

GENRE Smut

WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT ‼️ riding, petnames like princess, sloppy kisses, penetration, clit rubbing, tit worship

SUMMARY You didn’t think that your best friend dragging you along to her favorite bands concert would end with a night joyride from their lead guitarist.

MORE | Day five of the Groupie Love Series

You found it completely normal wanting to just spend your entire day pampering and relaxing yourself, though in your best friend's eyes it made you completely boring. You had tried time and time again to avoid getting yourself dragged out of the house by her, even using the old sick excuse which your best friend immediately dismissed. Now tonight instead of being snuggled up in bed all nice and cozy you were being dragged out of the house to attend the concert of some band you didn’t even like. For the sake of your best friend you simply fake it until you make it, breathing a sigh of relief as the concert finally came to an end which meant you could finally go back home, or so you thought.

“Uh you do know you missed your exit right?” Breaking your gaze away from the passenger side window you look over at your best friend.

“Yeah that’s because we aren’t going home yet.”

“Come again?”

“Yn it’s saturday night and the city is so alive. We just went to one of the most amazing concerts in the world.” (You would have this disagree on that)

“Are you serious right now? It's almost midnight and now you’re dragging me somewhere else? Where are we even going this late at night?”

“The After party, you didn’t think I’d just stay at the concert alone did you?” Right now you were wishing the ground would open up and swallow this car whole.

“This is the last time I let you drag me out like this, I could have been in my home cozied up in bed in my nice warm sheets.”

“Well too bad, tonight you’re going to party whether you like it or not.”

On the contrary to your best friend's statement you weren’t indulging in the party in the slightest. You were quite fed up from the moment you entered the door. It wasn’t that you didn’t like parties but in the moment you just weren’t in the party mood and you and your friend both shared a differing sense of fun when it came to parties. While your parties included drinking, games and a variety of music hers were full of sex,drugs, alcohol and music so loud you just might temporarily lose your hearing.

As you leaned against the kitchen counter, occasionally taking sips from your cup you were pulled from your focus as a voice spoke up behind you “I can tell by that look on your face you’re having so much fun.”

“Oh my you absolutely caught me I just absolutely love hanging out with a bunch of drunks on saturday night.” You respond sarcastically, earning a laugh from the handsome stranger.

“I’m Eric, i'm a friend of the host.” As he held his hands out for you to shake you were hesitant for a moment, after observing him for a moment you decided that he didn’t seem like he meant any harm so you happily took his hand and gave it a shake.

“Yn and I'm a friend of the girl that dragged me here just to leave me alone while she fucks some random in the bathroom.”

“Ah the old drag your friend to the party and leave her alone trope, she’s so original.” His sarcasm made you laugh, you couldn’t deny that talking to him was quite entertaining or it at least made you want to kill yourself a little less in the moment. Couldn’t tell anyone how you ended up there, but you found yourself outside in the backyard with him, both of you wanting to escape the loudness of the party going on inside.

“So do you always come to these types of parties?” You tried your best to make small talk with him, considering he was your only form of entertainment for the night it was only right that you got to know him.

“Honestly, these aren’t exactly my type of parties , but when you have over 10 different friends that throw parties nearly every week you tend to just show up to be supportive.”

“Ah the old showing up just to please your friend's trope.” You respond playfully, a nice little callback to his earlier joke.

“By the way who is ur friend anyways? I wasn’t exactly told who’s house we’d be coming to, I was just told that we’d be coming to some after party.”

“You don’t know?”

“That would be me.” A voice spoke up from behind the two of you making both you and Eric turn around. You couldn’t exactly pinpoint where you had seen his face before but you knew there was something familiar about him.

“Younghoon, where the hell have you been, I was looking for you for nearly half an hour.”

“I was out in the city, by the way Juyeon or Sangyeon won’t be joining us tonight, Sangyeons spending time with his girlfriend and I don’t know about Juyeon all he said in the text was something about his security guard not letting him leave.”

As if finally realizing you had been staring at the two Eric issues a quick apology to you before introducing you to his friend.

“Yn meet Younghoon, the host of this party and owner of the house. Younghoon, meet Yn, she thinks your party sucks and would rather be home.” At Eric's words your eyes widened and in that moment you really wanted to push him into the pool.

“Really? Not enjoying yourself?”

“Just not my idea of fun.”

“And what exactly is your idea of fun?”

“She would rather be at home doing skincare and snuggling up in bed with her dog.” Once again Eric starts foaming at the mouth with his words, giving you the perfect opportunity and excuse to push him right into the pool behind him.

“What was that for!?” He complains as he bounces back up to the surface

“Ah so your idea of fun is sitting inside and being boring?” Younghoon speaks up, pulling your attention back to him.

“Much better than being in a house full of drunk strangers, dancing around to music that’s bound to make your ears burst.”

“Oh so you don’t like wolfsbane?” At your sly comment about the music choice his eyebrows raise. You had just insulted the artist to his face without having realized it.

“Uh Yn” Eric chimes in from behind the two of you seemingly trying to stop you from saying anything more.

“Nono Eric let her continue, I’d love to hear her thoughts on them. Go ahead and continue darling, the floor is yours.”

“Their music has no heart, it’s just a bunch of mindless lyrics. They don’t write anything substantial and all of their songs feel the same. I thought about giving them a chance since my best friend decided to drag me to their show tonight, but it didn’t really change my mind.” Younghoon simply stood there with an intrigued and slightly amused look on his face at your synopsis of his band. Meanwhile Eric stood being you covering his face with his hands after having you spill all of that to the one person you most likely should not have.

“Excuse me but I need to go find my friend. I think it’s about time I get home.” Walking past Younghoon and back into the loud and crowded house you pushed through the sea of people seemingly struggling with the search for your friend. You had searched for her for nearly half an hour and you finally gave up. She hadn’t been answering any of your calls or texts, and she was nowhere to be found which meant you were left there completely alone. Now you were praying to god that Eric was still here and he wouldn't mind giving you a ride home, but to your disdain he was nowhere to be found and you had no way of contacting him.

“So you decided to stay, the party must not be all that bad then.” You heard his obnoxious voice and recognized it almost immediately. He stood in front of you, hair slightly messy with a pair of shades pushed back on his head. Once again it hit you that he looked so familiar yet you just couldn’t place where you had seen him.

“Not like I had a choice, my best friend is nowhere to be found and it seems like Eric’s already left.” You sigh and massage your temples with your fingers.

“Eric had a flight to catch since his tour will be starting soon, try not to miss him too much.” At his words your eyes rolled back almost instantaneously.

“And If I do miss him? Not like it would be anyone's business.” You respond, shrugging your shoulders.

“I'm assuming you need a ride home or something?”

“Well would you look at that you finally said something right tonight.” Your sarcastic response made a chuckle spill past his lips.

“Meet me out front, I'll take you home.”

“Youre gonna leave all these people alone in your house?”

“Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve done it, besides a few of my friends are here so I’m sure they’ll look out.”

“Rich people.” You roll your eyes and turn your back to him, making your way through the sea of bodies once again until you reach the front door.

You aren’t exactly sure what you were thinking about getting in the car with some complete stranger that you had met only moments ago, but if it meant getting away from the house and the loud music your decision had already been made from the moment he opened his mouth to ask if you needed a ride. Part of you was pissed at your best friend for having just disappeared without so much as a text, but the other half of you was simply just praying that wherever she was, even if she had been tangled beneath the sheets of some stranger's bed, that she was okay.

“So much for having fun.” You sigh and throw your head back in annoyance. The sound of rubble crushing underneath tires gains your attention, as you look ahead your eyes find Younghoon sitting in the driver's seat of black drop top.

“The city waits for the princess Cinderella .”

“Cinderella?”

“Yes because it’s midnight and you’re trying to run off back home.”

“Ugh I know we just met and all but you’re absolutely annoying.” You roll your eyes at him as you make your way to the car, he chuckles and pushes the door open for you watching as you slide in before pulling on your seatbelt.

“So you really don’t like wolfsbane huh? Not even one song?” At Younghoons question you sigh, this was usually the reaction you got whenever you told someone you didn’t like them.

“Again their music isn’t really for me but if I had to choose, there's one of their older songs that I think is good. Suckerpunch?” Younghoon seemed shocked at the chosen song that left your lips, out of all songs he could have expected Suckerpunch wasn’t one of them.

You were right when you said one of their older songs, suckerpunch had been one of their first releases where they first made it big.

“Why that one?”

“It was just so raw, you could feel the heart in every lyric , every chord, every key or drumbeat. But then again it isn’t surprising that they would lose their spark, it happens to many bands in the industry.” You spoke absentmindedly as you watched all the cars pass you by.

For a moment Younghoon remained silent until he finally decided to speak up once again. You seemed quite opinionated and you didn't seem afraid to tell it how it is.

“If you’re up for it can I show you something?”

“You aren’t going to take me to some place off the grid and murder me right?”

“I think you’ve been watching a little too much true crime, don’t worry Cinderella I won’t touch one hair on your pretty little head. Just need a yes or no.”

You were a little skeptical about the situation but part of you could admit that what he said back at the party was right, if you went back home now you’d be bored sitting there all alone. “Fine, where is it that we’re going exactly?”

“Don’t worry, just enjoy the ride.” And enjoy the ride you did. Honestly you were quite surprised how much you let loose considering you were in the car with a complete stranger. Honestly Younghoon didn’t seem to mind, this seemed like an entirely different girl than the one he had met back at the party. Your hair blowing in the wind and your hips swing as you stand up in your seat screaming the lyrics from the radio at the top of your lungs. The way you carelessly raised your arms in the air seemingly lost in the music that played on the radio which he took note of by the way. He found himself smiling at how much you had seemed to loosen up in just a few minutes, he honestly wasn’t sure if it was the drinks you had at the party finally setting in or if this was just how you were but he liked it.

“Why are we stopping? Is this the place?” You watched, slightly confused and somewhat alarmed as Younghoon parked his car at an overlook, (an overlook which gave a perfect view of the city) before getting out of the car. He silently moved over to his trunk and pulled out a guitar before slipping into the back seat.

“You drove me all the way here to listen to you play Guitar?”

“Just listen to me and tell me what you think, yeah? I come here whenever I need to get away from everything or clear my head…or when I just need some sort of inspiration.”

“But why me? Why not ask someone else.”

“Judging based on everything you said earlier today about wolfsbane you aren’t afraid to be honest or tell things how they are so just be honest with me.”

“..okay, then let’s hear what you got.” You didn’t know what you had been expecting from him but it certainly was not this. His vocals were the perfect mixture of sultry and raspy and every chord he played meshed together so perfectly that it was as if he had been playing a recording of guitar rather than strumming it right here before your face. As he finished he looked to you with a seemingly hopeful look on his eyes.

“It’s not exactly done, but what are your thoughts?”

“That was amazing, the guitar chords, your voice, it all went together so well. If I were you i'd release it.”

“Mm unfortunately it’s not what the industry wants to sell.”

“So? Who cares it's about making good music that people will listen to, music that your fans will love. You have real talent, it's raw and, and cathartic, who cares about what the industry wants when you can make money putting out music that you love.” There was a silence that had come over you, a silence that gave Younghoon the opportunity to look at you, to really look at you. Your eyes had been glued to the look of the city but he found himself looking at you.

“Where have you been all this time?” He spoke softly, slipping his finger beneath your chin so that he could turn your head to look at him. Once your eyes were finally on him he could no longer contain himself,

“If you don’t want this then just tell me to stop.” You could feel his breath against your nose as he leaned in closer to you, what you weren’t understanding was, why weren’t you stopping him. Younghoon took your silence as an invitation to kiss you, both your lips melted together as if they had been made for each other. Suddenly his hand snaked around your waist and he pulled you into his lap, his hands trailing eagerly down your body until they rested on the bottom of your shirt. He wasted no time pulling it off of you.

“Younghoon, what if someone drives by?”

“Let them.” His disinterest for the outside world at the moment turned you on even further and you weren’t going to deny it. Younghoons hands explored your entire body until they found the clasp of your bra, in one swift moment he had it unclasped as if it was already something he had been used to doing.

“Fuck you’re so beautiful.” His lips immediately latch onto one of your breasts while he takes the other into his hand and massages it against your chest. Soft moans spilled from your lips and your fingers tangled in his hair. Your head fell to the crook of his shoulder, your back arching as Younghoon wrapped his arm around your waist and trapped you in his strong arms.

Forcing his lips off of your breasts he pulls you back into a heated kiss, this time slipping his tongue past your lips while his hands work a lifting up your skirt. Your hands moved to his pants eagerly yanking and tugging at his belt to get it off of him only seeming to struggle which earned an amused chuckle from him.

“So eager, don’t worry princess I got it just sit pretty yeah?” His entire demeanor seems to have changed from how he was a few moments ago. He takes a moment to lift you up in his lap momentarily so that he could push his pants down. Your gaze fell upon his already hard cock, making the ache between your thighs worsen.

“Let me know if it hurts alright?”

Before you knew it he was buried deep inside you, impaling you on his cock over and over again.

“You sound so pretty moaning for me like this, ” he whispered into your neck, tongue and teeth playfully sucking at the tender flesh. To him now having heard your moans it was sweeter than any song. His grip on your hips were bruising and possessive, and your breasts bounced fervently at how he snapped his hips upwards to feel your walls coat him and hug him tightly and warmly. This was a feeling you had never gotten from anyone else, his cock pushing so deep into you that it'd bruise your cervix. The way his hands explored your body and lips remained wrapped around your breast was enough to send you over the edge. A low growl spilled from his lips and he tugged at your hair to tilt your head to him, his tongue slithering to your lips to taste your lips on his tongue once again.

As his hand moves down to circle your clit you gasp into his mouth. The pleasure had been so overwhelming that Your mind had gone completely fuzzy. You began to feel like you were on the urge of breaking apart from both his ministries and before you knew it, you were kissing him fervently. You decided to take over, resting your hands on his shoulders Younghoon let you take control, his head falling back as you started bouncing on his cock until you were too overwhelmed to speak, crying and mumbling incomprehensible words.

“Fuck you look so fucking pretty taking me like this.” The squelching sounds from your cunt and the view of his cock sliding in and out of you so easily drove him crazy. He wipes the tears from your face and leaves soft kisses on your neck as you continue to fall apart in his arms. You whine upon feeling him kiss your neck down to your shoulders, scraping his canines until you were absolutely lost in the feeling. Unlike the previous pace, the slow sensation of your cunt hugging his cock with your arousal letting him slide in and out so easily allowing you to feel every part of him, almost mind-wrecking at how good he’s able to make you feel like he was used to your body already. His hands meet your waist and he began to slam you down into his cock earning screams and loud cries of pleasure from you.

“Fuck, you’re so fucking tight. Is driving me crazy.” His head fell back on the couch, a low curse spilling from his lips at the way your nails penetrate his skin from the intense pleasure you had been feeling.

“So close princess, where do you want it?” You could no longer process his words functionally, not when he’s slamming you down his length like that and burying himself in you as if he didn’t want to be anywhere else.

“Fuck, Cum inside me Hoon please.” His name spilled from your lips so effortlessly that it put him in a daze. As he felt your walls tighten around him and combined with the twitch of his cock inside of you he let out a loud moan tossing his head back against the seat as he spilled into you painting your pretty cunt with his essence at the same time of your own release.

You lie breathless against his chest, still unable to fully grasp exactly what had happened between the two of you.

“Well you may not like my band or our music, but tonight ill be satisfied with knowing you like having me buried deep inside you.” He smirks and kisses your neck

“I KNEW YOU LOOKED FAMILIAR.” At your outburst Younghoon just laughs and pulls you closer to his chest.

[kaija-rayne-author]

Would you recognize an autistic or ADHD person if you saw one?

What about an autistic or ADHD fictional character?

Many of y'all will say, of course.

And you'll be wrong.

I'm not talking to hatched autistics and ADHDers. We can usually spot others like us and autistic/ADHD coded characters in fiction.

Definition: A 'hatched' autistic or ADHDer is someone who knows they're one or the other or both, AND they understand and accept that pretending to be neurotypical is bad for us.

It actually kills us, so, yeah, bad. The leading causes of death for autistics is unaliving or heart attack from the stress of living in a world that was most certainly not created for us. In some ways, this world is antithetical to us.

We also experience the stress of what's known as 'masking'.

Our average age of death is 36 years old. Think about that for a second. 36. And the rates of unaliving in autistic and ADHD kids is utterly obscene. The suicide watch for parents of autistic kids starts at 8 years old. 8.

(I don't say this for everything, but self-diagnosis is absolutely valid for autism and ADHD. In a world where people can still be institutionalized or lose their kids because of an autism diagnosis--this is fact for Britain and several US states. France is awful for autistics-- self diagnosis must be valid so we can figure ourselves out without endangerment.)

Masking is where a traumatized autistic (and I've also never met or even heard about an untraumatized autistic/ADHDer) will create a, persona, almost, that lets us function in the world.

It's rarely intentional, my youngest son started masking at 4 in pre-kindergarten because he wanted other kids to like him and want to play with him. Even though our home is very supportive of diversity, especially about autism and ADHD, y'all... he was *4*.

Being autistic and/or ADHD is so damned lonely. Especially if you don't know why you're different. So we do our best to adapt. That can cause issues.

Masking isn't meant as a lie. It's survival instinct. Because even though the world absolutely doesn't treat us like we're human beings, we still are. We want to survive and thrive as much as the next hominid. We have all the same needs and desires as any other human.

But what about the rest of all y'all? Can you recognize us?

Last week, a music teacher banned a 6 year old autistic kid from the school concert because 'they would ruin the experience for the other children' this is after making the autistic kid learn and practice the songs for weeks. 6 years old and that kid already has scars from discrimination about a genetic condition he can't help. It's cruel and so damned inhumane. At worst, the kid probably sang off key and maybe fidgetted a bit. But that would 'ruin' the concert. It's not the Estonian Philharmonic Chamber Choir, lady, it's an elementary school concert. It's absolutely not worth scarring that poor kid over. It also happened back in 2022, and again in 2017.

People will have seen 'Atypical' or 'The Good Doctor' or, gods forbid, Rainman and think they know what autistic people look like. (You should probably know that the majority of autistics loathe those shows because the rep is so bad.)

But here's the thing.

You can't see autism or ADHD. Not just by looking at us. It's purely a brain wiring difference. People don't even believe me when I tell them I am if they've seen me in person. And I'm professionally diagnosed as both autistic & ADHD.

Sometimes, there are co occurring issues, like intellectual disability, that are confused with autism, but they aren't actually the autism or ADHD part of things.

I'm an autistic and ADHD advocate. I have a consultant option on my Patreon for people who want advice either for themselves or so they do the right thing by their kids. I'm autistic/ADHD, my kids are too. I've been researching and learning about the topic for close to a decade at this point. I truly know what I'm talking about. I understand the different flavours and experiences of these two types of neurodivergency extremely well.

As an aside, while I have you here, ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) is never the right thing. You know how gay conversion therapy is bad? The same person (Ivar Lovass) came up with ABA, and it's meant to do the same thing. To torture people, most often children, into pretending to be what someone else wants them to be. It doesn't support or help the autistic person.

Almost unilaterally, ABA causes a PTSD breakdown of self coming into our 30s. I say almost, but I've never even heard of an autistic person who has been tortured by ABA who hasn't developed severe PTSD.

If you tried to use the methods used in ABA on a dog, you'd be guilty of extreme animal cruelty.

Yet, because it's practiced on human children, it's fiiiiine. Big money lobbying has even made it so that ABA 'therapy' is the only one covered by a lot of insurances.

We can thank Autism $peaks for that. They are a hate group. They fit every bit of the definition of one and then some. (So please don't donate to them at the till. They love to pollute stores like Toys 'R' Us.)

Adult autistics have been speaking out against them forever. But since most autistics (80%) are under or unemployed, we don't have the kind of financial sway we'd need to get rid of them. Yes, this even counts for 'the new ABA'.

You can't save ABA. Putting a 2 year old human child through 40 hours weekly of 'training' so that they can look and act neurotypical is just flat out torture. Making a child 'extremely hungry or thirsty' so that they will do what you want is torture. There's just no other way to slice that apple. It's rotten to the core.

But back to my point.

Recently, someone disagreed with my opinion on a fictional character. I feel the character is autistic/ADHD coded, the other person disagreed.

That's cool. Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one. And it's fiction, whatever. I'm not mad or upset. (I'm slightly insulted, because if you're not autistic/ADHD, [and a comparison they suggested made me think they definitely weren't] it's definitely not your place to disagree with one of us who says a character is autistic/ADHD coded. It's disrespectful and more than a little ableist. Simply because so many people have the completely wrong idea about both conditions.)

Regardless, the important part for a fictional character is that a person was able to see themselves in the character, to empathize with them. So it's not a big deal.

But it got me thinking about this.

Would most people recognize the subtle signs? They're almost always extremely subtle.

Ever hear of 'resting bitch face'? It's an incredibly common autistic trait because we either emote less or we emote differently than neurotypicals. In our world, it's known as 'flat face effect'. I have it, and I've been harmed many times because it looks like I'm pissed off even when I'm having a good time or I'm just deep in thought. I've got a firey temper, trust me when I say you'll know it when I'm pissed off.

So. You see a character (or even a person) who doesn't emote a lot? Or emotes extremely subtly? Wellll... that's a good clue.

So, X fictional character (or person) has odd or esoteric knowledge or hobbies. That's a good clue.

Are they nerdy or geeky in some way?

Most autistics and many ADHDers experience what's known as hyperfixation on special interests. Ever see someone get so fascinated by a topic or skill or activity that they get lost in it?

Forget to eat or drink?

Learn to do an obscure craft just because they wanted to know how it's done? That person is likely autistic or ADHD or both. It applies to fictional characters too.

Are they stand-offish? Many of us are for various reasons. One is that we're trying to figure out the 'rules' of wherever and whoever we're with.

Why all y'all insist on staring creepily at each others eyeballs is beyond me. I find it either too intimate, painfully so, or just ridiculous.

That quiet character (or person) who warms up slowly? There's a hint.

Another reason we tend to be cool with strangers is that ever present trauma thing. So many autists and ADHDers get to the point in life where we just don't have it in us anymore to keep trying to make social connections. A very common trait of both autism and ADHD is a lack of understanding of neurotypical social rules. And trust me, y'all have them.

Does the character or person fidget? Either subtly or more obviously?

It's called stimming. I had to learn to do it unobtrusively, so I'll suck air through my teeth (my dentist isn't impressed by this), circle my pointer finger around my thumb, tap the pad of each finger on my thumb in a rhythm, count silently to myself... the list is probably endless. I intentionally leave the cuticles on my thumbs rough, because I often rub the forefinger or ring finger of that hand over the rough cuticle as a stim.

Maybe they rotate their ring around a finger?

Play with their hair?

Stimming is something that calms us down and helps us regulate our emotions. (It's also one of the first things ABA robs us of. It's called 'quiet hands'.) It's really bad to deprive an autistic or ADHDer of stimming.

I used to click the button on a pen so much that I banned myself from having clicky pens because of how annoying it can be to others.

There are healthy stims and unhealthy ones. (Head banging is an example of an unhealthy stim.)

So a character or person who is just, always moving somehow? There's a hint. Or they're rhythmically moving a body part? Tapping fingers? Wiggling a foot or leg? Fussing with their clothing? Rocking?

Is the character or person 'a walking encyclopedia'? In other words, do they know a lot of information about either one or two topics or about many topics?

That character (or person) is often stereotyped as being a computer genius who can make any computer work just by looking at it for a few minutes. But it can honestly be any topic or combination of topics. That's another clue.

Many autists are almost hard wired to be painfully honest. Unless we've been traumatized into it, we tend to be shitty liars. I'm, unfortunately, a very good liar. It's not something I choose to do, because I don't want my trauma to change something so innate to me as my honesty. I had to learn to lie to survive. I don't recommend it.

Does the person or character truly believe in things like honour? Justice? Mercy? Peace? (Many neurotypical people will call these things social lies that keep the world working.) I'm talking a bone deep belief in honour etc. Are they a shitty liar?

I think I've blathered enough for now. I want to make it clear that I don't speak for all autistic and ADHD folks. I'm just one person attempting to share some of the more common traits with whoever wants to read about it.

A final thought.

Nothing can make someone autistic or ADHD. It's a genetic condition. Which is why so many parents find out they're autistic or ADHD when their kids are diagnosed. It's not more prevalent now, it's just that more people are learning about the actual parameters of it. Diagnosis is easier now than 50 years ago. It's been around since ancient Egypt and probably evolved as a way to keep the clan safe in prehistoric times.

We often have heightened senses. Sometimes we have what I call 'predator vision' which sounds awful but just means that my gaze is automatically drawn to movement. Our sleep cycles are also commonly very different than a neurotypical's. We probably ended up being people who would take night watch, stare at the stars for hours, or warn people when food has gone off so no one eats it.

I think we evolved right alongside neurotypicals because we're both needed for a successful society.

Many, many of the world's famed thinkers/creators are considered to have likely been autistic/ADHD based on records about them.

These people include:

Leonardo DaVinci

Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni

Nikolai Tesla

Albert Einstein

Thomas Jefferson

Charles Darwin

Emily Dickinson

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

William Butler Yeats

Vincent Van Gogh

Benjamin Franklin

People who are autistic or ADHD these days that you may not expect?

Dan Ackroyd

Darryl Hannah

Anthony Hopkins

Jerry Seinfeld

Eminem

Courtney Love

David Byrne

Wentworth Miller

Satoshi Tajiri (creator of Pokemon)

There are also many, many people who have shown autistic or ADHD traits and haven't confirmed or it's impossible to confirm because they're deceased and we don't have the right records.

It's considered a massive faux pas to assign a diagnosis of anything to a living human being. So everyone living I've listed has in some way confirmed it. There are many, many other people (especially in creative industries or hobbies) I believe are likely one or the other, but I wouldn't label. That's for them to do.

If you enjoyed this or learned something and you can, please consider a tip or becoming a Patron. My work of words is my only income.

Every historical person is just a 'likely' because we'll never actually know. All we can do is point at the exhibited traits via records and say, probably.

[a-risk-to-take]

….you posted your tattoo (sick) and linked to house of dirk and i read it all and its unfinished. if you hadn’t posted i may have lived my life without getting fanfic blue balled for the first time since 2015. if you have any sympathy for my loss you would give me fanfic recs >:[ /lh

I feel your pain believe me 😭😭 I’m sorry I didn’t warn you at least. I’m low-key hoping the tattoo image gets to imarriedacherub and inspires them to continue the story - obviously not likely but it’s nice to dream!

I got recs for you though! I’ve got hundreds of bookmarks on my ao3 but here’s the HS stuff I love the most:

The epics:

Dayvhe’s Broken Diamond Club and everything by @unda-dsk: DBDC is my personal fave of theirs, and the best treatment of troll culture in any fic ever. If you know HS fic you are probably aware of MC Escher That’s My Favorite MC, and that one is absolutely excellent and completely deserves its status as one of the very best. And then there’s Alternate Universe, which is a perfect and beautiful magic school story. All of these are absolutely top-tier - I cannot stress this enough. They are epic and very long but some of the best stuff I’ve ever read—fanfic or otherwise—and they changed me when I read them. Despite the length, DBDC is very episodic so you can read each chapter as its own story and easily take breaks in between them without losing the flow, so you might want to start there. I promise it’s worth it!!

so we don’t kill the ones we love by @callmearcturus: I’ve never read anyone who can create an atmosphere like Arc can - this one is kind of a John Wick AU but in a really refreshing and elevated way. The characterization is so on point. Lots more I could rave about but I’ll just add that Arc’s Karkats are the hottest and most based out there. Again all his stuff is really good - this one is my favorite, but don’t miss this really cool magic artisan AU also.

The meteorstucks:

Aahhh there’s no way this is gonna be complete because I’ve read like hundreds and I get them confused but these are some that stand out. In case you haven’t notice already this list is gonna be very davekat centric!

Keep It Down by sburbanite - chef’s kiss concept and execution just read it

A Xenological Exploration of Music and Language by superbloom - super fun and well written with neat headcanon - and turned me on to some great music

I’m actually gonna just declare this section unfinished for now - I need to revisit these and remind myself what’s what - stay tuned!

Illustrated

Since you liked HoD you might be looking for more comic-y stuff with art. Definitely check out @chthonicarcher’s amazing davekats! Such as That’s All We Are

Dream a Little Dream of Me by koroke - this is just a little dream bubble comic but it’s simply the loveliest and I’m massively envious of the art style

Gonna Need Some Windex by the End of the Year by magniloquentChanteuse - more artistic storytelling just neat!

More

It’s About Time by @laurasauras - this is a sweet cute lovely little time travel davekat that I actually sent to a friend to read who knew nothing about HS and successfully led them into the fandom. (Followed by AU by Unda). Laurasauras is prolific and there are so many great fics written by them I can’t list them all here but they are one of my absolute favorite authors. Their understanding of the strider psyche is absolutely impeccable

The Worst Goddamn Movies Ever Fucking Made by writerbot - this fic brought me so much hilarity and joy I can’t even tell you. The Karkat voice is perfect and delightful and the social media interludes are so fucking funny and impressive. One of the first fics to show me how creative and funny this fandom can be.

I’m surely going to add to this - there are so many more meteorstucks and other authors I know I’ll think of after I post this - but I don’t want to spend too much longer on this now when you could be reading some of this great stuff! ENJOY!!

[the-fluff-piece]

Can you please right Prompt 11, making it sweet and using Law please? 🥺

This is part of my current follower milestone event

Thank you for your request anon!

Here's

Sing for me

Law can't sing. You do. He didn't know that, even though you've been together for a while now.

Sweet sfw fluff with an overwhelmed Law

The polar tang's crew has a night out and had been pushed into a karaoke bar by Bepo. He wants to sing Uta songs all night!

The crew drinks while Bepo sings in his cute voice, absolutely horribly but with dedication. He screeches and sqeaks like a broken teapot, but he has the time of his life. Eventually, everyone is drunk his throat is sore. When he frees the karaoke machine from his grasp, the others take the stage: penguin and Shachi sing a totally not gay song about friendship while hugging each other, Jean Bart sings some old guy songs and eventually, everyone is insisting you two sing a love duet.

Law looks like he's gonna kill someone, but your "pleaaase" eventually swayes him.

"One song. One. Pick wisely" he grunts as he pushed the song list over to you. You pick a classic: ain't no mountain high enough. It was both lovely and not too sweet for Law.

Law stands in front of the small monitor looking extremely stressed. His shoulders are drawn up, his back is hunched and he clasps the microphone to his chest like it's going to protect him. The music starts and his part is first.

"Listen baby, ain't no mountain high, ain't no valley low..." he mumbles the lyrics into his microphone. There is no talking around it: it's bad. He's bad at this. He is talking without rhythm but with a strange intonation.

Your part is directly after his. "If you need me call me, no matter where you are, no matter how far!" You sing with a melodic and crystal clear voice, holding your microphone far from your mouth to not blast everyone's ears with your trained volume.

Now would be Law's part, but he doesn't get a peep out. He stares at you wide eyed, pure shock in his eyes, his mouth open and trying to form words. You wait a few more times for him to sing his part until you eventually improvise the song into a solo piece. The crew absolutely loses it - they cheer and clap and want more.

Law shuffles to the benches and sits down, still in shock. You sing a few more of Uta's songs for Bepo, who is quickly becoming your biggest fan. The party lasts a long time, eventually everyone is screaming increasingly silly songs, their untrained vocal cords already screeching and giving up.

When all have a sore throat except for you, they decide to leave for a midnight snack. When you want to join them, Law tugs at your arm.

"Please stay" he whispers, his expression blank and unreadable. He leads you back to the karaoke machine.

"Do you know that song?" He indicates the name of a sad love ballad on the screen. You nod.

"Will you please sing that for me?" He asks.

"Of course" you say and pick up the mic once again. Law sits down in front of you and listens with a smile. The song is slow and grand and you put everything you have in it. He claps and you bow down. He's already back at the machine, picking a new song.

"How about this one?" He surely knows a lot of ballads.

"Sure!"

He kisses you and sits down to listen again. His eyes seem to eat you up as he watches and listens.

Whenever you're done with a song, he picks the next. Sad songs slowly turn into rock songs, musicals and emo punk. You didn't know he even knew these genres existed. But he did, and he loved listening to you singing for him, just for him.

Eventually, you're exhausted and your voice gets scratchy, you have to cough and take a break.

"I'm so sorry babe, I pushed you too much" Law apologises with a kiss to your forehead.

"It's nothing, it's just getting late" you say.

"You're right, it's late, let's get home."

He picks you up and carries you on his back all the way to the polar tang. Before going to sleep he asks for one more soft song and falls asleep before it's done.

[pineapplefulfillseveryneed]

The Revenge Of Two Hands One Mouth - O2 Academy Bristol (November 27, 2013) by Adam Gasson

After 11 years of not finding a single photo from this show, I found these yesterday! I can not begin to express what this means to me, I nearly cried and I couldn't sleep last night. I was still a rather new fan and this was my first time going to a show in the UK, the first show I went to see with a friend, and my first time meeting that friend, too. And these above photos are SO GOOD! Not much was preserved from this show at all, there was no recording allowed (no charcoal drawings either), and to my knowledge not even the full setlist for this specific show was preserved anywhere. So better late than never, but here's what I remember (with some help from these photos!) and the things I've puzzled back together:

If there was opening music or an opening act, i don't recall, but Russell entered the stage alone. It was dramatic and impactful, and it went quiet as he gave an intense stare into the audience and did a drawn out "ahhh" into the microphone. After a little moment of quiet, it turned out the microphone had been connected to a sequencer which now started repeating "ah ah ah ah ah ah". Suspense, excitement. Russell added: "Hold, hold, hold, hold". (...I was definitely freaking out.) While that started looping on top of the ah ah ah sequence, he made stop signs with his hand as we all listened. A few repeats passed. "I'm getting mixed signals, mixed signals - mixed, mixed, mixed signals".

^ the only seconds of this show I recorded as I didn't yet know it wasn't allowed - security signed at me and I put the camera away. It was fine. (Here's a recording of it made during the US tour later that year - recording seemed to be less frowned upon at that point.)

I don't recall when Ron entered the stage at this show, whether it was during the song or after, but what a way to open! And what an amazing song choice!

The performance that left the biggest impression on me at this show though was Nicotina. It was a choice I didn't see coming, but also the way Russell sang it! Falsetto heaven. (Sadly not a single video is to be found of Nicotina from this tour. But for your falsetto heaven needs, I hope you can find a video of Here In Heaven that they also performed on this tour, because that will also kill you.)

As everyone here probably knows I am quite big on Bergman, which at the time was heavily promoted during the tours, and, the excerpts they played on this tour were different from what they played during Two Hands One Mouth! They played "I Am Ingmar Bergman", The Studio Commissary (my favourite song on Bergman), Limo Driver (but sang by Russell, and HOW!) and "Oh My God". (Here's a video of it from one of the American shows. It's extremely good. People who've been around for a while have seen me lose it over this video many times.)

The most unexpected song choice was probably Katherine Hepburn. Me and my friend had been joking for absolute months that we were going to see Sparks and they'd play Katherine Hepburn (as if that would ever happen, we were obsessed with that song though!). And here we were, and they were playing Katherine Hepburn right in front of our eyes. (What is reality.)

Falling In Love With Myself Again had me losing it over the organ sounds, always a fan of Ron on organ, and I LOVE that song. Russell sang a line in my direction (I died), and he managed to throw another line at me during Those Mysteries ...I died a few times that night. As you might expect. That was kind of the whole THOM/TROTHOM experience anyway. Lots of dying. But the variety of dying where you end up in heaven. (You're at a Sparks show after all.)

They wrote a song especially for this tour, which was not released but only ever played live: Revenge Of Two Hands One Mouth. What a thing to experience! A very dark song, but wonderful. (REVENGE! REVENGE REVENGE!)

At the end of the show Ron took a photo of Russell with the audience. I don't really remember that happening, but the photo exists and it really was not a thing they did often back then. We had been a good audience :)

Here's all the songs that were probably played that night in random order:

Your Call's Very Important To Us. Please Hold., B.C., Good Morning, Here In Heaven, Academy Award Performance, Those Mysteries, Falling In Love With Myself Again, Big Boy, Nicotina, Popularity, This Town Ain't Big Enough For Both Of Us, excerpts from The Seduction Of Ingmar Bergman, Tryouts For The Human Race, Katherine Hepburn, Revenge Of Two Hands One Mouth. They likely also played The Number One Song in Heaven, When Do I Get To Sing 'My Way' and Suburban Homeboy. (I see mentions of How Are You Getting Home? and How Do I Get To Carnegie Hall? in setlists for this tour as well, which they very well might have played but I very sadly have zero memory of ever hearing those songs live.)

This tour had a real air of mystery, possibly even more so than Two Hands One Mouth, as the lack of existing footage definitely adds to it. But luckily some of it *is* out there, and I am so grateful for these photos :) On top of the songs I especially mentioned above, I would also advise people to look for recordings of Tryouts For The Human Race and Popularity from this tour, because the arrangements are probably not going to be the way you expect them to be. And as you might expect: B.C. is stunning live. (I could start a whole rant about Good Morning and Suburban Homeboy live but I think I sufficiently screamed about both in my personal notes on THOM the year prior.) Final note: I know Russell had some sort of dance move for Big Boy because me and another friend couldn't stop talking about it for months. I don't remember what he did, but both THOM and TROTHOM were wonderful for Russell dances <3

[girlfailurefelix]

what gave you the idea for borrowed time? did you have any other plans for it? (aka yap about it all you want)

so actually! i had been thinking about it conceptually for like two weeks before i wrote any of it (i was complaining to my sib about it cuz i was embarrassed to write since i hadn’t since i was a preteen/young teen lol) and it just drove me absolutely nuts cuz i couldn’t stop thinking about it at work.

just gonna establish now since it gets confusing: greg ≠ gregory. i treat them as two different characters in the same body. so i will not use them interchangeably on this ask, just like i don’t in my fic

cut because i am going to YAP

i wrote chapter one as an attempt to stop myself from thinking about it further (i was originally going to kill tony off and have it be a oneshot, either post-pizzaplex escape much like security breach’s bad ending c̶u̶z̶ ̶s̶o̶u̶l̶m̶a̶t̶i̶s̶m̶ or have him end up getting chased to the fire escape and yk, you can fill in the blank on that one. blah blah blah insert something here about tony’s very interesting, incredibly weird intro in the book. i’m still trying to figure that one out cuz other themes in the book [the celtic stuff specifically. this is a huge thing for me and i can go off about how it’s used in the book, but that’s for another post if yall want that] make that interesting if we didn’t know how ggy kills from the therapist tapes. actually, even though you can’t see it, this is how he dies in my cotard’s solution animatic. the knife in it wasn’t for killing him lol, his ass went off the roof [hence “i wanna make my murder look like a suicide”], but now i’m getting sidetracked). but one thing led to another and i wrote chapter 6 and the epilogue.

Chapter 4 was my last written chapter (hence why i don’t bother uploading individual chapters and just drop whole stories at once) if you don’t count editing several parts of chapter 1 (small tweaks for clarity purposes, not huge minus what i mentioned above. debated making this one two chapters but ended up keeping them together as a big one cuz it didn’t make as much sense when split up) and chapter 5 (i originally wrote the car ride to the pizzaplex cuz i thought it would be funny to make tony flip a tit and go hellaciously slow with the fear that he’d get pulled over cuz yk. twelve. but i figured it was too boring and discarded it).

the original title was actually a different song name. (super embarrassing but it was a hollywood undead song -another way out. i might use this later for a different, more fitting fic- cuz it helped me come up with a lot of the smaller details within chapter 1)

i did name it after the song from the death note musical cuz it can be interpreted about being about both tony and gregory. i meant it about gregory personally cuz at the end he quite literally is living on borrowed time (since tony’s death is the reason he’s able to get away from vanny. very remisa.), but tony is too throughout the entire fic, since obviously it’s an extension of his original implied lifespan (you’re welcome, you little shit.) and also cuz he’s putting up with (and being worn down by) greg’s shit the entire time in order to save gregory, even at the risk of his own safety, and i think that lines up really well too.

the chapters also all had individual names but too many were deathnote so i got embarrassed (og title of chapter 4 was the game begins lol, which is why the last sentence of chapter 3 was what it was)

color was SOOOO important. like the names i used were incredibly specific. i really wanted to emphasize how dead greg’s eyes are vs gregory, also how tony was losing steam cuz yk. traumatizing.

i based tony’s mom on mine lol. and she and my sib picked up on that immediately after they both read it (i didn’t have a beta cuz i didn’t take criticism or editing, but i did let them read it immediately) i know she doesn’t check on tony in the book when he sneaks out, but i figured that’s her giving him space, and i loveeeee projecting so that was reflected in the mom parts. mother’s instinct and all that. she totally knew greg was weird after the first night, he wasn’t just bullshitting on that part, but again, space (and yet another projection from a specific experience of my own).

greg. let’s fucking talk about greg. FIRST, he was gonna kill tony’s ass the whole time, despite chapter 4’s events. that was him being manipulative because i just don’t think greg *wouldn’t* notice tony’s behavior. as i wrote, he’s NOT subtle, even in actual canon. he meant what he said when he called him useful, and he certainly didn’t like feeling rejected, but don’t let him fool you, he doesn’t actually like tony. tony actually mentions this in chapter 2 as a possibility and much like his instincts in the actual book, he was right. it was just about dragging it out to make it worse on tony and getting something out of him as a bonus. i like to think of him as building on gregory’s original personality cuz virus, so he’s not that different, but he’s like,, worse if that makes sense. like the worst parts of gregory, amplified. with some killing, yk.

speaking of tony guessing, he was absolutely BULLSHITTING with the greg vs gregory shit. denial is not just a river, he just happened to be right. cuz seriously, he was two seconds from cracking anyway, i mean little dude is SO traumatized, especially at this point.

so gregory. he was able to communicate when half asleep cuz i think that greg/the actual virus would want him to experience the nightmares and such (agony continuing to feed the virus. yk. fnaf shit) to keep him in line. so this is the small window of opportunity he would have to even be a person, much less attempt to save himself. he’s miserable in this state though cuz tired and unable to be fully awake lol. also he can see everything greg does, hence knowing tony and trusting him, but he can’t really do anything about it. he’s always present though.

ellis wasn’t in this besides mentions because of multiple reasons. 1, i wanted to make it clear how much greg was isolating him. like that’s on purpose. 2, it would’ve gotten too convoluted to have tony protecting both of them in this specific case. and 3, i knew i wanted it to loop to security breach, so ellis would’ve interfered with that unless i killed him off. regardless of the fact that i personally see him dying in addition to tony as the canon post-ggy events [cuz let’s be real, regardless of if he believed it, he read tony’s paper. that’s a loose end and a disaster for greg waiting to happen. i don’t think he would risk it, especially since tony’s immediate disappearance would be sus as fuck.], i didn’t feel like killing him off needlessly.

so i actually sobbed after re-reading the end. giggled and kicked my feet about how awful it would be while writing it, but rest assured, it kicked my ass after. like to the point that i considered scrapping it and letting them get out safe (which is where the AU with Sunlight on Your Skin came in), but i knew this was the proper ending for both of them. greg ended up getting his way in the most fucked up way (tony was useful.) but also failing in the same breath, tony got to save gregory (giving him a far more satisfying character arc than his original, meaningless death. also fulfilling the void left by the guilt from not being able to help his dad’s fate), and gregory got saved, even if it was a hollow, tragic “victory” for him.

also i originally was going to have greg fatally wound tony as he won the game, but i wanted to bring in vanny (cuz of the “friends” comment from the beginning and it being brought up again by greg in one of the middle chapters) cuz A) i love my wife and B) it felt /too/ sad and angsty to the point of overkill (no pun intended)

oh. and gregory does actually like tony back, he wasn’t just saying it cuz wanting to escape and then him dying. just so we’re all aware. maybe not at that point as much as tony does (and not as much as he does in sunlight on your skin’s au continuation, cuz actually actively getting to be himself would help.), but it would’ve worked out if tony didn’t yk, kick the bucket. sorry if that makes his death worse.

[lurkingshan]

Did you go into I Feel You Linger In The Air with a lot of expectations? Personally I'm a huge fan of Nonkul so when the cast was announced I was quite livid and my expectations raised a lot when the pilot trailer was dropped but Dee Hup House followed that pilot trailer with Step By Step, Show Me Love and Hidden Agenda so by the time IFYLITA aired, I felt like I had to try minimizing my expectations as much as possible because it's Tee Bundit & co. I can't quite put into words but what about IFYLITA that makes each episode builds up so well and I never really feel like it lost its pace? plot? narrative? (except for maybe a few plot threads I could overlook). What do you think Shan? What do you think are the key elements that keeps IFYLITA's narrative so engaging even though this could have been like any other modern-guy-accidentally-time-traveled-to-the-past-to-fall-in-love-with-guy-from-the-past series?

My friends can attest, I went into I Feel You Linger in the Air with unreasonably high expectations, because I fucking love historicals and time travel romances and before this year we had precious little of either from Thailand. I was so hype for this project from the moment it was announced. And then Step by Step happened and I decided to willfully ignore the Dee Hup House and Tee Bundit parts of this project in order to stay hype. Surely, it would be fine!

And it has, mostly. I can't pretend we haven't seen some Tee Bundit hallmarks in this production. For the first half of the show, he seemed pretty uninterested in the romance, focusing most of the story time on building out the side characters and the politics of the period and leaving Jom and Yai's connection underdeveloped. He has given us almost no information on the time travel mythology, so the finale will either be jam packed with last minute exposition or leave Jom/us with no real understanding of the rules of this universe. He seemed unable to figure out how to make the romance and time travel and queer politics plots co-exist, so instead he kind of chunked them out, taking them one at a time and leading to some kinks in the pacing of each given plot. He spent a lot of time very carefully building serious conflicts only to hand wave them away in one very easy denouement.

But despite all that, this show just works, doesn't it? Usually when I am picking up this many structural issues in a show, I will lose my emotional connection to the story as my brain kicks into analytical mode. But that didn't happen here. The emotions of this story stuck with me throughout; I care about all the characters, I am invested in everyone getting what they deserve, and I was sobbing my little heart out last week as Jom and Yai said their long goodbye. It's been such a beautiful journey, if imperfect, and I credit that to a few things:

Writing aside, the other aspects of this production are all around phenomenal. The cinematography, the set and costume design, the lighting, the music. It's all working together to make this time and place feel so vivid and real. It's so gorgeous to look at and the show really makes you want to just sink into it and get immersed.

Bright and Nonkul were perfectly cast in this, and they have been absolutely killing it in these roles. Jom and Yai feel so real to me, both as individuals and as a pair. I really believe in their connection, which is no small thing given the aforementioned underwriting of its development. In a story like this the romance needs to be strong enough that you believe these two would seek each other out across time and space, and I do believe it for them. A lot of that can be credited to the remarkable chemistry these two performers have built together.

The non-romance aspects of the plot are actually compelling. It's always risky to add in a bunch of side stories to a simple romance; you risk distracting from the main story in a way that actually does some damage or leaves the audience bored or confused. But here, the choices about what to add made for a compelling cast of characters, a stronger tie to real history, and an all around more queer show. I love that we got a proper lesbian romance, that we got to see an oppressed woman come into her power, that we got a het dude learning how to be an ally, and that we got to see a queer community form around and bolster Yai and Jom. It's really special and the best of what Tee's interests can lead to when he marshals them well.

So yes, I do think this show stands apart from others in this genre for what it brought to the formula that feels new and fresh. I wish it was more widely accessible because it's truly one of the most beautiful dramas I have ever seen and easily one of the best Thai shows of the year.

[anjaelle]

Nectarine

Pairing: Tangerine x Black!OFC (Unnamed)

Warnings: Unprotected P in V, Smut, Filth, Drugs, Alcohol, Almost attempted murder.

Word Count: 1.8K

A/N: In my mind, this is the first time something like this has ever happened to him and he can't deal. He'll have to simply kill two people instead of one now.

Smoke on your skin to get those pretty eyes rolling

My thighs are apart for when you’re ready to breathe in

Suck me up I’m healing for the shit you’re dealing

High, motherfucker, get your mouth open, you know you are mine

-x-

He felt absolutely wired.

He placed the tab on his tongue, and tipped his glass between his lips. It took a while for it to kick in. He was sure it was because of his high tolerance.

"Well shit." He mumbled, fully aware that he was going down that route again. He quickly pushed the concern to the back of his mind, choosing to focus on the warmth in his chest from the vodka and the bass vibrating through his body.

He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but Tangerine loved to dance. The last time he had a target in a place like this, he made the mistake of doing a few lines of blow and losing about 2-4 hours on a crowded floor.

Tangerine had a semi-clear head tonight. He had about an hour and change to find his mark and meet Lemon back at the hotel. He checked his phone again to scroll through his messages and find the original request. Some old fart put a hit out on his girlfriend that he suspected was stealing from him and cheating. The reaction was unwarranted. Overdramatic and low stakes, even. But it was good money and he wasn't being paid to judge.

All he had to do was slip something in her drink and leave. It was one of the less messy tasks, and he was just happy he would be able to finish in time to get some sleep. Slipping the phone back into his pocket, Tangerine scanned the crowd again looking for the middle-aged blonde from the photos when his eyes distractedly landed on someone else.

He saw her in the middle of the floor, dancing with a guy who could barely keep up. He had his hands on her hips and she grinded into his pelvis with the slow sensuality of someone who barely registered that he was there. Her eyes were closed, and her lower lip was latched between her teeth, as she rode the rhythm of the song. She was the only one in the vicinity wearing jeans and sneakers and he wondered how she got into a club with such a strict dress code. He suddenly felt self conscious in his suit, which was an extraordinary fucking feat in most circumstances.

The only way she could get in was if she had an in. Who was she here with?

When the song changed, she turned to her dance partner and leaned up on her tiptoes to whisper something in his ear before walking away. In his direction. Even though his heartbeat was thudding in his ears—maybe it was the drugs...or maybe it was the music—he coolly regarded her as she leaned against the bar, resting her elbows against the counter. The top she wore rode up a bit as she stretched, exposing a belly button ring and part of an intricate tattoo along her side. He took in her confident stature, and the way she seemed completely disenchanted with the crowd around her. He caught himself watching the way she pursed her lips and her wide brown eyes scanned the area looking for...something. The girl absentmindedly twirled a braid around her index finger before turning her back to address the bartender.

He inwardly groaned at the way her jeans hugged her hips and thighs, and the curve of her ass. As if reading his thoughts she turned to look at him over her shoulder, brushing her braids over her back. She looked him up and down before they locked eyes.

He wasn’t sure if it was the molly, the bouncing lights, or the liquor swimming through his veins...but he noticed something wild and fiery about her gaze.

Then she smirked at him.

-x-

She groaned, latching her leg around his hips as he pressed rough kisses down her neck.

Bracing her against the wall, he rolled his hips against the front of her jeans, growing increasingly frustrated with the fabric between them. She pushed his jacket from his shoulders onto the floor, and pulled at the back of his shirt, scratching his back in the process. His dick jumped in response, and she sucked air between her teeth as he sucked on the sensitive skin of her collarbone.

“You know,” she said breathlessly, reaching up to tug sharply at his hair, “you caught me in a good mood. I don't usually do this.”

He grinned, and spun her around, pushing her front against the bathroom stall door. He thrust his hips against her ass, and she dropped her head to the side in a blissful sigh.

“There’s a first for everything, love,” he whispered in her ear. He tugged on her lobe with his teeth, inching his hands around her hips to unbutton her jeans. “What do they call you?”

She chuckled and he felt the vibration throughout his body as she pressed herself closer and arched her back.

“I'm Nobody, to you.”

“You wanna be a smartass?” his hand slipped down the front of her jeans, teasing the waistband of her panties. She reached her arm back to gently scratch the back of his neck, earning her a shudder. He dipped his hand lower between her thighs, before pressing two fingers firmly against her slick nub.

“God,” she breathed. He could smell a mixture of cranberry and mint on her breath. He leaned forward to suck her lower lip between his teeth, while his other hand snaked around her neck and gently squeezed.

“Oh fuck, oh please,” she whimpered, reaching behind her to press her hand to the front of his pants. He rocked his hips against her, and slipped his hand lower to slip two fingers into her. She cried out in response, pressing her ass harder against his dick.

“Please what?” he demanded, kissing down the back of her neck, “Use your big girl words.”

He could feel her body shaking as her breathing quickened. He pressed his palm her clit, rubbing in small quick circles and a brief cry escaped her lips.

“I-" He watched her scratch the paint off the door of the bathroom stall as a deep shudder raked her frame.

“Say it,” he whispered to her, slowing the pace of his hand.

“I need it,” she whined, rolling her hips against the front of his pants. She pulled his hand from her jeans and sucked his thick fingers between her lips, tasting herself. 

It took everything in him not to blackout when he spun her around and pulled her into a deep kiss to taste her on her tongue. Her jeans slipped over her hips, and he slipped his hands under her panties and over her ass. He almost didn't notice her hands expertly undoing the button and zipper of his pants. His mind momentarily went blank when we felt her warm hand wrap around him, and his breath caught in his throat. 

“Fuck,” he whispered hoarsely. She bit her lip as she ran her thumb along the head of his dick, and then pushed his pants to the floor. The look in her eyes alone made him ravenous with a hunger he hadn’t felt in ages. He wrapped her thighs around his hips and kissed her deeper, tasting more of her on his tongue while his hand palmed her ass. She gripped his hair in her fist, and tilted his head to the side, leaving a trail of kisses down his neck. They both gasped sharply when he brushed against her clit.

“God, right there,” she moaned, teasing his earring with the tip of her tongue. 

He slowly eased into her, and she tossed her head back with a satisfied smile on her lips. She fit perfectly around him. His heart pounded in his ears when his hips thrust against her and she pulled him closer.

“Fuck!” She arched her back in ecstasy and rolled her hips against him, forcing a gasp from his lips. 

“You feel so fucking good,” he groaned, sucking on the skin just above her bra cup. He pulled it down and wrapped his lips around her hardened left nipple, tugging it with his teeth and earning him a shrill cry when he teased the right with his fingers.She bucked against his every thrust, letting out short, loud grunts.

She let out a deep, hoarse cry.

“Come on, sweetheart,” he cooed to her, "Let go."

He pulled his hand away from her breast and slipped it between them, rubbing her clit with his thumb and sending her into a frenzy. He felt her tighten around him, causing him to swallow hard. 

“Ohmygod, ohmygod,” she whimpered resting her forehead on his shoulder. 

“Look at me,” he whispered. Tangerine picked up the speed of his thrusts when he felt himself getting closer, and he spun her around to push her against the opposite wall for support, “I said look at me.” 

She squeezed her thighs around him tighter, and when her dark brown eyes met his, they both shuddered and she dug her nails into his arm as she climaxed. At the same time, she tightened around him and bounced faster against his hips, riding the wave of pleasure for as long as she could. He felt his resolve slipping. He clutched her tighter against his body with one arm, while the other gripped her thigh tightly as he fucked her against the wall. 

“Fuck!” He cried as he felt the familiar warmth flood his stomach. He gave one final thrust deep into her as he groaned hoarsely against her shoulder and tried to catch his breath. He felt her fingers gently play with the hair at the nape of his neck, and he almost felt his legs give out. 

She left small kisses along his skin, and he hissed as she slid off of him. He was sure that he zoned out for a moment as she cleaned herself and pulled her clothes back on. He followed suit, pulling his pants back around his hips with uncharacteristic clumsiness. This was fucked. Deep down, he wasn't used to being disarmed like this.

“Well that was nice,” she said, breaking the silence with a smirk. She pulled him down for another deep kiss and tenderly cupped his cheek with her hand. For a moment he forgot where he was, returning the kiss with equal, if not greater enthusiasm. She pulled away from him and pat his cheek. 

“I think your mark is definitely gone by now, by the way. You kinda fucked up, huh?” She sighed. Something crossed her features, and Tangerine nearly questioned her about it before he registered what she said. 

“Wait what?” He asked. Post-nut clarity seeped into his brain and his eyes widened in surprise as he pulled his phone out to check the time. He'd lost over an hour.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell if you won’t.” The smirk returned to her features and she pushed the stall door open. “By the way, you might need to cover up those hickeys, Tangerine. Someone might have questions.”

[dramavixen]

Chang Heng: The Man Who Deserves to Be a Male Lead, But Absolutely Should Not Be One

(i.e., I found the opportunity to dunk on Ten Miles of Peach Blossom’s Ye Hua after spending far too long harboring a simmering resentment for that giant man baby)

**Spoilers for: Love Between Fairy and Devil and Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms

I was around 19 years old when I watched the renowned xianxia drama 三生三世十里桃花 (Three Lives, Three Worlds, Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms, A.K.A. Eternal Love or TMOPB for short). I was smitten with the worldbuilding and music, but especially with the male lead. To this day, Ye Hua holds the crown as one of xianxia’s most beloved characters. Not that he did anything super cool—unless you consider bawling over his dead wife revolutionary.

It was a couple years and many more dramas later that I realized I had been conned. Beneath the pretty tears and fantastic dubbing, Ye Hua represents an absolute disaster of a man, an apocalypse for the poor lady on the receiving end of his heart-eyes. How could I, a supposedly mature adult, have been so blind to his deadly flaws (ironic, given what he does to his wife)?

This epiphany blessed me with an instinctual aversion to the xianxia genre. Everywhere I looked, I could only see the shadow of Ye Hua within the male characters who took up his torch—none of these xianxia men are worth shit. And then I learned that the same often applies to xianxia women. All of them need an intervention.

So when Love Between Fairy and Devil’s Chang Heng graced my screen and started exuding extreme Ye Hua vibes, could you blame me for thinking “oh hell no”? I was not ready to get hurt again. Over the course of the drama, I learned to heal and love again, but because of a single caveat: Chang Heng is destined to never get the girl.

---

The Walking Red Flag

As with all good science experiments, we need to establish the control element. Ye Hua will act as that today. What about Ye Hua is so unforgivable, yet allows him to remain as one of the faces of xianxia?

TMOPB was met with explosive popularity upon its release in 2017 and remains one of the most well-known C-dramas to this day. It’s not a reach to say that its success prompted the wave of xianxia dramas released in its wake, nor to claim that its influence inspired a new formula for the genre’s plot structure. It wasn’t entirely original in concept, but its impact on pop culture shouldn't be understated.

The drama’s primary selling point is the love story between esteemed goddess Bai Qian and Heavenly Crown Prince Ye Hua. Through a series of unfortunate events, Bai Qian loses her memory and powers, becoming the “mortal” Su Su. Ye Hua is the smitten deity who really, really wants to be with Su Su even though their relationship is strictly forbidden due to Reasons That Definitely Exist and Are Valid.

Dramatic irony is also at play. Bai Qian and Ye Hua are betrothed to one another long before they fall in love in the mortal realm, but are unaware that their beloved and their future spouse are one and the same person. Their love is essentially a fated relationship disguised as a wild goose chase.

Once Su Su “dies,” Ye Hua deteriorates into a lovesick shell of himself. His longing, guilt, and grief over her death have since established themselves as the picturesque representation of tragic elements inherent to the xianxia genre. Ever since Ye Hua did it, everyone and their grandmas think it’s the new hip thing to get their lovers killed and then cry over it.

Ye Hua could take one step into my house and I would kick him to the curb, install new locks, and file for a restraining order. I fear this man far more than I fear the typical drama villain. Because imagine what he’d do to someone he hates, if this is what he does to the person he loves:

I’ll give him a pass on some of his early flirting techniques, which includes shenanigans like injuring himself to elicit her care and attention and also sleeping in her bed without her express knowledge. (Off to a promising start, aren’t we?) He's a lovestruck fool, ignorant to proper methods to woo the ladies.

After Su Su takes an interest in him, he tricks her into marrying him. Fine, that’s a bit of an exaggeration. But he doesn’t see anything wrong with marrying her while she’s unaware of his true identity. He doesn’t even pipe up about it after she gets pregnant. Meanwhile, Su Su marries him because she’s lonely and trusts that he’s someone who can always be there for her—you know, like a good spouse tends to be. He is not that.

Ye Hua thinks he can outsmart the heavens with his amoeba brain and tries to fake his own death so he can be with Su Su. He fails miserably.

Su Su finds out who Ye Hua truly is after she’s captured by his Heavenly Lord grandpa, who fully intends on punishing her for their relationship since she’s a “mortal” and easy to bully.

Ye Hua fears that openly expressing his love for Su Su will get her killed. To avoid this, he comes up with the ingenious solution of pulling the whole “I have to treat you like garbage to protect you” bullshit. Dearest Ye Hua, please name me one scenario in any drama where you saw this method working out well enough for you to try it for yourself.

For obvious reasons, Su Su starts doubting that Ye Hua truly loves her. This doubt peaks after manipulative female support character Su Jin accuses Su Su of pushing her off the Zhu Xian Tai (“Fairy-Executing Terrace”) in an attempt to kill her, a plot that results in Su Jin going blind. Ye Hua, in another effort to “protect” Su Su, personally digs out Su Su’s eyeballs as retribution—even though he knows that she didn’t do anything wrong, and even as she sobs and begs him not to do it.

Blind and abandoned, Su Su explores the palace every day through touch and commits its layout to memory. After giving birth to her son, she uses that knowledge, finding and leaping off the Zhu Xian Tai to kill herself.

She doesn’t die, of course. She regains her memories as a goddess, but is so tormented by what she endured that she decides to wipe away the memories of the entire relationship. Then they reunite and fall in love again, yada yada yada.

All of that content makes for great angst. I still need a tissue box or two to make it through the episode where Su Su throws herself off the Zhu Xian Tai. If anything, my frustration toward Ye Hua makes me cry even harder because goodness, the audacity of this asshole. He acts purely out of selfishness, desiring to keep Su Su at his side at any cost, even if she’s the one paying it. This isn’t to say that Ye Hua gets off scot-free. He also willingly takes punishments in Su Su’s stead and wants to follow her after she dies. But so what? Does his suffering reduce Su Su’s pain at all? Does that change any of what he does to her? And he doesn’t even get her eyes back for her afterward; she has to do it herself!

What makes Ye Hua truly irredeemable in my eyes is that he still ends up with Bai Qian. Her forgiveness is only natural, as her love for him exceeds her hate. That sounds romantic, but only if you ignore how he caused her enough pain for her to prefer death. And even if she forgives him, why does she have to take him back? Unless she so desperately needs a reason to jump off the Zhu Xian Tai again.

While I understand that the show is more marketable when the lead couple has a “happy” ending, it doesn’t sit well with me that that’s the end result for Ye Hua and Bai Qian. Ye Hua expresses remorse, tons of it; otherwise how could so many viewers readily forgive him? But it’s simply not true that once we show enough remorse, we should earn back the things and people we lost. Once some things are over, they’re truly over. If that applies to anyone, it should definitely apply to someone like Ye Hua.

---

Wake Him Up Inside

And so we arrive on the subject of Chang Heng. Oh, Chang Heng. I see his tiny face and I just want to wrap him up in a blanket and feed him s’mores.

Chang Heng’s character shares many foundational similarities with Ye Hua: he crushes on someone while unaware that she’s actually his long-lost fiancée, has too many responsibilities, and struggles to balance those two problems. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if the writers had Ye Hua in mind while creating Chang Heng. Every single word of wisdom he utters is a not-so-subtle jab at Ye Hua’s erring ways. It’s the sweet honey of vindication, I tell you.

Before he gets to that point of self-awareness, Chang Heng treads the same path as Ye Hua. He wipes Xiao Lanhua’s memories of him without her permission. He doesn’t dare reveal his feelings for her because that would be counter to his duties. Even after painstakingly creating medicine to help with her dysfunctional spiritual root, he ends up pretending that he never did such a thing. In his deepest subconscious, he believes his love for Xiao Lanhua is a weakness. The main difference between him and Ye Hua is that Chang Heng has the decency to distance himself beforehand, knowing that he is in no position to have a relationship with her.

Two things prevent Chang Heng from transforming into Ye Hua 2.0: 1) he isn’t the male lead and 2) Dongfang Qingcang’s existence.

Imagine a world in which Chang Heng is the male lead. When Xiao Lanhua is accused of being a traitor, he would almost certainly pull a Ye Hua move and negotiate with his brother. “I know she’s innocent, but I also know that you must punish her, so please just spare her life”—that type of thing. (The reason I think this isn’t just possible but probable is because later in the actual drama, he enthusiastically agrees to a plan in which he and Rong Hao would kill Xiao Lanhua’s body with DFQC trapped inside, and simply build Xiao Lanhua a new shell to live in. Bro, what the hell.) Because Chang Heng doesn’t fully understand how useless he is, that would be the limit of what he can do for her. He would seriously believe that he has no other choice in the matter.

But someone else is the male lead. When DFQC comes along to rescue Xiao Lanhua, there’s no compromise to be had. He’s taking her with him and that’s the end of it. I, for one, have never felt so validated as when DFQC beats Chang Heng to the floor and then just...walks away, like he’s making a stop at the supermarket.

DFQC: Are you going to save her? Or are you going to save your Shuiyuntian?

That someone can behave this way is a major culture shock to Chang Heng. How can someone just do whatever they want? What about rules? Watching DFQC whisk Xiao Lanhua away serves as loudest of wake-up calls: DFQC intends to put Chang Heng in his place, showing him that he does have a choice in the matter. But he can neither defeat DFQC nor abandon his responsibilities. Until he can overcome those obstacles, Xiao Lanhua will always be out of his reach.

While Xiao Lanhua sparks love in Chang Heng with her desire to protect him, DFQC is the one who makes him question his priorities. Exactly what should he be doing that he currently isn’t? How is it possible that he’s a god of war, yet can’t protect the one he loves?

Chang Heng realizes that distancing himself from Xiao Lanhua accomplishes nothing but forcing her further out of reach (proud of him for realizing that one because let’s be honest, we don’t love Chang Heng for his brain cells). He also has an extreme edge to him, so he hops straight over to doing the exact opposite, rebelling against the arbitrary rules of heaven, constantly trying to bring Xiao Lanhua home, and openly expressing his feelings for her. Later, even if it means becoming a mortal, even if it means letting her go to someone else, nothing is off-limits.

---

The Fine Line Between Helplessness and Incompetence

A lot of xianxia plots depend on characters being helpless and subject to the fates. In my childhood memories, xianxia dramas commonly had at least one main character who was a low-ranked human or deity. Bullied and unable to fend for themselves, their journeys to improve themselves and protect what mattered to them were ones that touched and inspired people who could relate to their common identities. These characters aren’t given many choices in such situations, yet they consistently choose to fight back.

This zero-to-hero trope has become less convincing over time as the trend turned into telling the stories of “chosen ones.” There’s nothing inherently wrong with that, except now all of these dramas are trying to convince us that these gods with unlimited power are...powerless. They’re all hero-to-even-bigger-hero tales, if you will.

It’s not impossible for gods to be forced into making certain decisions, but it’s quite rare that a xianxia persuades me into finding it believable. If we look at Ye Hua again, he gets outsmarted by some random woman who's jealous of his wife. He also snubs Su Su to placate an old man. You’re trying to tell me that that’s the best a dragon crown prince can do? If I lived in the heavens, I’d live in fear of a revolution every day if those are the capabilities of my future leader.

When it comes down to it, Ye Hua is not helpless like our heroes of old—he’s incompetent. And it’s hard to sympathize with a guy who loses everything not because outside forces overpower him, but because he himself sucks major ass.

LBFAD, a drama where every one of the three leads is someone of super high rank, is the only xianxia in recent years which puts into perspective how huge power translates into huge responsibility, and why that pushes characters into feeling like things are out of their control. Be it DFQC’s and Chang Heng’s duties to their people or Xiao Lanhua’s destiny to save all life, it’s hard for any of them to decide when to give in and when to rebel against the heavy weight of destiny.

Chang Heng is a pleasant mixture of both helplessness and incompetence. Is it not endearing the way DFQC easily crushes him, yet he still goes flying into enemy territory proclaiming that he’s going to save Xiao Lanhua? I don’t know where his confidence is coming from and I don’t think he does either, but it’s heartwarming to watch him try and fail with flying colors.

When Chang Heng hops over to Cangyan Sea to bring Xiao Lanhua home without a solid plan, DFQC is again the guy to remind Chang Heng that he still needs to do better. Good intentions are a solid starting point, but are worthless if he can’t convert them into something practical.

CH: Xiao Lanhua, is someone threatening you? Do not be afraid. Tell me, and I will protect you.

DFQC!XLH: No one has threatened me, and no one has forced me. [...] I am also no longer the inconsequential lowly spirit that you all take me for, nor am I a traitor or a spy in collusion with the Moon Tribe. I can happily be myself. Compared to my days in Shuiyuntian, when anyone could step all over me, this is over a hundred times better. [...] Suppose that I go back with you. Can you guarantee that you will clear my name from collusion with the Moon Tribe? Suppose that your Lord Yun Zhong insists that he will not pardon me; would you dare go against him? Suppose that he uses that heavenly rule nonsense to ask you and force you; could you promise my safety? Suppose that anyone dares to harm me or blame me; could you reduce them to ashes?

Aside from making Xiao Lanhua understand that Chang Heng’s mainly just a pretty face, this interrogation forces Chang Heng to consider what’s at stake. Protecting Xiao Lanhua and following the rules are mutually exclusive decisions. His struggle to circumvent this issue isn’t trivial, seeing as it’s challenging his entire belief system. But he can either start questioning what he’s capable of, or let Xiao Lanhua get hurt again.

What stands out to me about this interaction is when DFQC also tacks on that Chang Heng “cannot even tell [her] something [she] wants to hear”; that he won’t even claim that he can keep her safe. Maybe I’m just that jaded, but his refusal to tell pretty lies is what I adore about Chang Heng. It’s a matter of life and death, and if he can’t promise her safety, he won’t. If he lies to her and to himself, then he could never become the straight-shooting Chang Heng we all know and love.

DFQC might be his inspiration, but Rong Hao being simultaneously Chang Heng’s best friend (potentially more; oh what could’ve been) and a foil to his character is an enormously overlooked dynamic. Rong Hao frequently tells Chang Heng that they’re the same type of people, that their love for their respective ladies is what corners them into making less-than-optimal decisions. Each time, Chang Heng’s instinct is to rebuff him.

RH: Because the two of us are the same. I have no choice. And you, ultimately, will also have no choice.

CH: You do not have a choice? You chose to conspire with my brother, to disturb matters, to catalyze the three realms’ largest war in the last tens of thousands of years!

Chang Heng’s newfound philosophy is that everyone has a choice. You may be dealt an awful hand, but you can still choose to play or fold. His friend’s decision-making comes off as foolish arrogance to him.

But Rong Hao is right in one respect. They are similar: if Ye Hua represents an alternate universe version of Chang Heng in which DFQC doesn’t exist, then Rong Hao is suffering a version of Chang Heng’s future in which Xiao Lanhua/Xi Yun sacrifices herself for the greater good, yet is forgotten by those she dies for. Chang Heng can remain optimistic because the person he loves is still alive and loved by others. Rong Hao is comparatively hopeless. He can only wait to witness the impending devastation before realizing that the harder choice is oftentimes the better one.

We will never know how Chang Heng would react if in Rong Hao’s exact position. But whatever he would choose to do, he would not absolve himself from responsibility by claiming that he had no other choice. The results may be out of his hands, but the initial choice is what he can decide for himself.

Chang Heng reminds me much more of traditional xianxia protagonists. Every obstacle they face only drives them to seek enough strength to change the status quo. While Chang Heng may never win against DFQC, he’ll keep trying. (Or he’ll convert him into a brother; that works too.) Everyone will say he doesn’t have a choice, but he wants one and he will get one. Ah, my heart is so full. I don’t want perfect characters. I want characters who strive to do better, especially in a world that pushes them down, and he suits that to a tee.

Meanwhile, Ye Hua over here blinds his wife due to...societal expectations? My god. He just keeps getting worse the more that I think about him.

---

I’m Sorry. But At Least I Love You!

There always has to be an arc where the lead couple’s relationship splinters because one party draws back in order to “protect” the other. It’s accompanied by an intentional lack of communication, so the other person thinks that they’ve been left behind. Remember when this trope used to be cool? Yeah, I don’t either. Because it never was.

Ye Hua might have some fun with this, but LBFAD doubles it by making both the male lead and second male lead utilize this strategy: DFQC, in order to force Xiao Lanhua to fall out of love with him and spare her life in the process, and Chang Heng, who refrains from pursuing Xiao Lanhua in the beginning in order to keep her out of his brother’s view.

I’m tempted to be lenient in both cases. DFQC’s predicament is written well enough that he does seem truly out of options in that situation—every possible choice is wrong. He either breaks her heart and she survives, perhaps so he can explain his actions later, or he lets her die. Or, you know. He could communicate like she asked him to, and they could try to find a way out together. Instead she stabs herself. So you know what, no free pass for DFQC, but at least he makes up for it later.

(I have to get another jab at Ye Hua in here. When Xiao Lanhua commits suicide, she does it to save DFQC. It’s an act of love and sacrifice. Su Su literally seeks death out of unadulterated heartbreak and betrayal. Big difference there, huh?)

I mentioned that Chang Heng’s actions are out of responsibility, so it’s hard to fully blame him. At the same time, the reason Chang Heng can’t win over Xiao Lanhua is because he doesn’t act on his feelings until it’s too late. Simply “protecting her” is not enough: people don’t love others in the hopes of being protected. They love someone to walk alongside them through all the good and bad in life, together.

Chang Heng shines in the ending episodes. He still wants to protect Xiao Lanhua, but he also becomes the one person who understands and accepts her own desires. Knowing from experience that acting one-sidedly is but a temporary solution to a much larger issue, he listens to and considers what she wants. When the two tribes are on the brink of war and Xiao Lanhua doesn’t want to return to Shuiyuntian with him, even after learning of her lost identity as the Goddess of Xishan, he respects that. When, as Xi Yun, she confides in him that she’s pretending to not remember DFQC, he is hurt by how cruel she is being to him, but in the end chooses to understand her.

CH: Your life will truly be in danger this time, Xiao Lanhua. I absolutely cannot let you go back there.

XLH: Lord Chang Heng, are you really going to stop me? My lord, you are a god of war. I am merely a plant with a damaged spiritual root. If you insist on stopping me, then there is nothing I can do. But I will definitely not give in.

CH: You will die. Is that right? [...] You and Dongfang Qingcang love one another. You would rather pretend not to know him than to harm him in any capacity. Then what about me? How could you...how could you ask me to marry you and then personally send you off to die? Did you consider me at all?

XLH: Chang Heng...I am sorry.

CH: I do not want any of your ‘sorry’s. You clearly know that what I want is not for you to say sorry. Are you going to tell me that you do not have a choice?

XLH: That is not true. It was me who chose to live with the Goddess of Xishan’s destiny. Chang Heng, you are the only one who can help me.

Oh, Chang Heng. He’s come to his senses, but everyone he loves and respects falls apart. Saving DFQC from his dreamworld, bringing Xiao Lanhua back from the dead, sacrificing Xiao Lanhua, burying his best friend...what a rough schedule. Scratch giving him s’mores, he needs a drink or two.

Everyone in this drama grows into a better version of themselves, but Chang Heng practices the deepest empathy of any of them. To be hurt is to understand others’ pain, and he really does learn to understand.

---

Such is the beautiful tragedy of Chang Heng and his love for Xiao Lanhua. It’s bittersweet that Chang Heng knows to let go, but comforting to recognize that they’re better off not being together. Only with them apart can Chang Heng’s love stay as pure as it is.

Take that, Ye Hua. I’ll admit, I appreciate Ye Hua for showing me the perfect example of a guy that I should not even spare a glance at. Otherwise, Chang Heng supremacy declared; respectfully, please get that other man away from me.

[snippychicke]

Cats & Ships part seven

Title: Cats & Ships

Overall Rating: Teen for now, will go into mature at a future date

Trigger warnings: Nothing beyond what's in the live-action series. I mean, Kuro's still manipulative and paranoid. It gets better tho? Slowly?

Pairings: Captain Kuro (Klahadore)/Reader; hints of Kaya/Usopp

Summary: It started out as a means to get information as Khaladore. Who would be better to provide information regarding the high seas than Syrup Village’s Harbormaster? Except, for the first time in a very long time, Kuro found himself trusting, and even liking, the young woman he shared tea with every week. 

And then the Straw Hat Pirates arrived and ruined his plans. Except fate decided his story wasn’t done there. 

Nor was yours.

Masterlist here! | Read on Ao3!

Maple town was a far different town several hours later. The survivors of the Jones Crew had been set out to sea in dinghy with just enough food and water to reach the next isle (at the insistence of the townspeople, Kuro personally wanted to simply execute them all.) 

The loot the Jones had was split between the Black Cat crew and the village. And the kegs of liquor and crates of food opened for a town-wide celebration. Once more Kuro's men filled the tavern, though this time the villagers had little qualms intermixing. Vibrant music was playing, and Jango was happily leading a dancing troupe. 

From a small corner booth, Kuro watched with very mild interest, fingers tapping on the table as he waited. He should have followed you. You were already wavering between your drinks and the letdown of the fight. 

Finally, just when he was about to give into the little insistent voice in his head, you breezed through the open doors of the tavern, holding a very annoyed black and white cat above your head. "Tada !"

No one understood what you were doing with the cat, but applauded anyway with cheers. Kuro-the-cat looked about as pleased with the ruckus as the pirate captain himself. (Granted, he hadn't exactly stopped you when you had the bright idea to fetch the cat from your home.)

 "If he kills you in your sleep, I will not be surprised," Kuro stated as you approached, and accepted the cat as soon as you offered it. 

"As long as you promise to take care of the little shit, that's all I care about," You smiled as the tuxedo-colored cat purred and rubbed against the harsh pirate captain, obviously very happy to be reunited considering a second ago he had been ready to dart away.

And to be completely fair, Kuro was happy as well, in his own way. After all, being the feared captain of the Black Cats meant that it was rare for anything to be happy to see him. 

Yet even as he ran his hands along the cat's black silky coat, Kuro's eyes drifted towards you, sitting on the same rounded bench seat, but fair distance between you, with a warm expression as you sipped your drink. He couldn't deny the odd sensation that grew in his chest seeing you… happy. Relaxed.

Even if you had a handful of dressed injuries. 

You had terrified him when he had first caught sight of you swinging that old sword with absolutely no skill. As undeniably beautiful it had been, you had been in danger , likely moments from death. 

As much as he hated having to be cautious in a fight, much preferring to losing himself in the craze of battle, the urge to protect you was stronger. 

Kuro still wasn't sure what compelled him to confess everything to you, or why he was so irritated by the idea you thought you weren't special . All those weeks of being slowly driven insane by the craving to see you, and you thought he cared nothing for you?

Did you understand what it meant for him to admit he trusted you? You and you alone? 

"Is it silly that I still have a hard time believing I named him after you," You interrupted his inner reflection as you leaned into his personal space to scratch the cat between the ears. "I mean, back then Captain Kuro was some mythical figure to me. A legend with a rather handsome face. And I mean, you look every bit as handsome as your poster but you're also… you." 

He found it amusing as you frowned, face turning faintly pink as you realized what you had admitted out loud. Oh, he was aware you had found him attractive; had known since he found out about his namesake. But it soothed some part of him to hear you still thought that. 

"I don't find it 'silly', per se," He blamed the alcohol he had for giving into the impulse to lean over slightly, catching your eye with a rather devious smile. He truly felt like a cat that had caught a canary as he rested one arm along the back of the bench behind you. "But I do find it rather flattering." 

There was that blush he enjoyed so much. He could watch it bloom down your neck, across the small bit of your chest peeking from beneath your top.

And watching you look away, covering your face, was even more adorable. "Is it hot in here?" You muttered rubbing your face. 

"You do look rather red," He couldn't help but tease, leaning close to faux whisper in your ear. "You wouldn't happen to be blushing would you?" 

Your eyes widened, before you pushed him playfully. "Oh shut it. I've just had too much to drink." You huffed as you crossed your arms "Such a meanie. Teasing me after I dragged Kuro from my house. He does not like going to new places, you know." 

Kuro hummed thoughtfully, looking back down at the cat. "Yet another thing we have in common." He paused for a moment before shooting you a glance. "As well as our tolerance for you, I suppose." 

Despite your earlier insistence that you had too much, you took another sip of your drink. Though Kuro wondered if it was to give you courage as you leaned into his side, resting your head on his shoulder. "You're both lucky I'm so fond of you." 

The soft show of affection was not something the pirate captain was used to. His heart squeezed in his chest as he slowly moved his arm to wrap around your shoulders. 

Last time he was able to enjoy a moment like this, it had been a fortuitous accident. This time… was purposeful, showing your trust in him. 

He failed spectacularly , Kuro realized with a sigh as he pulled you closer. There was no way he was going to dispel his feelings for you. Not in the foreseeable future, at least.

Which meant he was going to have to adjust his plans. 

***

You… had fallen asleep. 

You had fallen asleep against him. 

Kuro wasn't sure what to do, which was novelty in and of itself. His arm was still wrapped around you, even as you snuggled deeper into his side. 

Most of the tavern had settled down, and he could feel the siren lure of bed himself. But… to wake you? Leave you? Neither sounded ideal. 

The young apprentice chef from before seemed to notice his predicament. "I can help her home, sir" They offered. "I know where she lives." 

Kuro was not about to leave you in someone else's hands. However….

Nudging his namesake from his lap, Kuro managed to stand and then pick you up without causing you to wake. You nestled closer to his chest with a soft sigh, but otherwise continued to sleep. "Lead the way." 

Thankfully your home wasn't too far, lights on and door unlocked from when you had fetched Kuro. 

He made a note to inform you your coworker seemed to have no qualms letting a stranger help you home, far too trusting. 

Not that he had any ill intent. Other than taking off your shoes, he left you dressed as he set you down in your bed. Granted, the temptation to settle next to you was strong as he stroked your face, indulging himself in a moment to enjoy your beauty. 

"You've completely ruined my plans," He confessed, caressing your face softly. "And yet, I'm only mildly annoyed." 

Forgetting you would be impossible, yet staying with you would only put a target on your back. He needed to figure out a way to keep you safe, but one where he didn't abandon you completely… despite the fact it made the most logical sense. 

After all, staying away from you felt as wrong as not having the cat claws by his side.