#even though it was a VERY sucky year

[landitolover]

𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒂𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒄𝒂𝒓, in which, if charles didn’t care for you, maybe a specific red bull driver he doesn’t really like, will.. part one here! ౨ৎ max verstappen x famous!reader

INSTAGRAM DMS

maxverstappen1 replied to your story

maxverstappen1

hey, i’m sorry about the break up

charles never deserved you though

yourusername

haha it’s okay

he didn’t do anything wrong though 😊

it was a mutual break up

maxverstappen1

ohhh, alright

that’s nice to know 😃

TWITTER

IMESSAGE , MAX & LANDO January 4th, 2024

max

Lando

lando

Max 🤔

Rare text, what do you need mate?

max

by any chance do you have yns number

lando

oh my god do you

finally have the balls to (attempt) to pull her

max

i’ve always had the balls :/

charles just beat me to it

lando

he was quite charming

max

he’s a cheater, he isn’t very charming

lando

thats why i said ‘was’

max

ok but do u have her number

lando

duh? we’re like this🤞🏼

it’s xxx-xxx-xxx

max

okk thank you very much

lando

of course mate

goodluck you’ll need it

also u will be talked (possibly made fun of)

about in the gc. so be careful..

max

uhm ok mate

bye….. 😃

INSTAGRAM

yourprivate

Liked by alex_albon, lilymhe, landonorris, and 122 others

yourprivate new year, new me 💆‍♀️

fuck🖕🏼men 🤮

January 14th, 2024

View all 14 comments

alex_albon yk damn well ur the biggest lover girl

→ yourprivate uhmm wdym? i’m not

landonorris i know something u dont 🤫

lilymhe its okay baby 😔

→ yourprivate 😔😔💖💖 ily

georgerussell63 wake up

→ yourprivate get out my private bitch 🤮

→ georgerussell63 cunt

→ yourprivate something u never serve..

danielricciardo wow this post ate 🎀

danielricciardo it would eat even more if u reactivated the main

→ yourprivate i’ll be back in like 9 months

→ landonorris HOLY SHIT ARE U PREGNANT

→ yourprivate NO??? WHAT??? WHY WOULD U THINK THAT???

→ landonorris coz u said 9 months and thats like how long it takes to give birth Idk

→ yourprivate u are so slow gn

IMESSAGE , MAX & YOU January 14th, 2024

xxx-xxx-xx

are you a rose?

cause i think you’re a catch 😉

yn

oh my god 😂 that was such a sucky

pick up line.. who is this? 😭

xxx-xxx-xxx

your future boyfriend, hopefully

yn

how’d u get my number though

i rlly hope you aren’t a stalker 😭

or i’m gonna contact the police

xxx-xxx-xxx

WAIT NO 😭

it’s max

i’m sorry lol

yn

oh my god 😭

i didn’t see u as the corny pick up line type

you changed this contact to ‘max’

max

what can i say?

also sorry for freaking you out

i asked lando for your number, i hope you don’t mind

yn

nah its fine 😭

max

are you okay though?

you deactivated, saw it all over twitter

yn

yeah no, i’m ok

well not rlly but I don’t wanna like .. talk about it

max

that’s totally fine

but if you ever need someone to talk to

i’m always free

and i have cats so.. free therapy

yn

thats how u get the girl !

max

charlie should have taken some notes

unsent message

haha i guess i know how to get you now ?

yn

you’re a flirt aren’t you

max

only for you

yn

😭😭

i’ll be back in a minute someone messaged me

max

alright

IMESSAGE , CHARLES & YOU January 14th, 2024

don’t respond

hi angel, can i come over?

i miss your kisses, cherie

can’t we get back together

yn

no we can’t

charles stop it. i don’t want you

you’re the one who cheated on me

if you were going to miss my kisses so bad, why’d you cheat?

don’t respond

it’s a new year though, new us.

yn

no charles

you need to get over it

i mean, i did

don’t respond

get over it? you deactivated on everything

that isn’t getting over it. you’re avoiding your problems

yn

yeah I’m avoiding you, you’re my biggest one

get a new girlfriend

it obviously isn’t that hard for you..

Delivered

INSTAGRAM

yourprivate

Liked by landonorris, alex_albon, lilymhe, and 102 others

yourprivate men suck….. (i think he’s cute)

January 17th, 2024

View all comments

lilymhe u better not be talking about ch*rles

→ yourprivate no

landonorris is it ***

→ yourprivate 🤔🤔🤔???

alex_albon i thought u weren’t a lover girl

→ yourprivate i’m not

→ alex_albon caption says otherwise

georgerussell63 yw for the cake

→ yourprivate thanks georgie 😊

INSTAGRAM

charles_leclerc

Liked by carlossainz55, pierrepasly, arthur_leclerc, and 1,309,192 others

charles_leclerc overrated

January 23rd, 2024

View all 1,099 comments

user ohh ik yn is laughing at his silly ass

user he’s going dark 🖤⛓️

user he wanna be aesthetic so fuckin bad

user this is not it ‼️ archive this post ‼️

user yeah, ur overrated

→ user we luv a self aware king

user not everyone dragging him in the comments 😭

→ user cause we all love yn 💆‍♀️

lewishamilton be so fr you have no sense of fashion, m8 😂

carlossainz55 🖤

landonorris yeah this post is not ittttt

alex_albon alright mate….

danielricciardo who did not cheer! 😂😭

pierregasly 🔥

TWITTER

TWITTER

IMESSAGE, MAX & YOU February 14th, 2024

max <3

hey :)

happy valentines 🤍

yn

hii maxie

happy valentines! 💌

max <3

i bought you a little something

since you love snoopy

and me 😉

yn

you got one thing right

max <3

wowww

nevermind then

yn

kidding 🙄🙄

max <3

i’m picking you up

is an hour enough time

yn

yess

see you sooon 😊🤍

max <3

🤍

IMESSAGE, “YN FANCLUB 😊” February 15th, 2024

landoooo

how much r we betting that he did it

alexito

£100 he didn’t

lil 🎀

£100 he did

landoooo

i’m team he did it

georgie

he aint do shit 😂🔥

i’m team he didn’t do it

lil 🎀

is alex holding u gunpoint ???

landoooo

facts

max isn’t a pussy he def said something at least

yn

hi guyyyyssss

what are you guys talking about

georgie

we’re betting on ur little bf

did he ask you out

lil 🎀

ok wow 😭 straight to the point

yn

he did 😊😊😊

lil 🎀

HOLY SHIT

HAHAHAA

ALEX, GEORGE,

landoooo

PAYYY UPPP!!!! 💰

alexito

GTFOOO

georgie

🔥🔥 my ass is not paying

yn

u better pay them

also £100 is crazy???

look at what he got me 🥹 and he’s such a cutie

lil 🎀

SNOOPY 😭 I WISSHH

so down bad

🥹🥹 the cutest

yn

i cried 😔 he’s adorable

alexito

u guys are so cute

i hope it lasts!!

landoooo

daniel asked if u bringing back the main

cause like ur happy now

yn

2025 my year

plus u guys are in my priv why does it matter

georgie

right lmfao 😭

congrats on the bf though 🥳

hopefully he doesn’t turn out like our

good ol’ friend charlie!!!!

alexito

mate sthu

respectfully

georgie

wow that makes it a whole lot better, thanks m8

lil 🎀

how about u both sthu

INSTAGRAM

maxverstappen1

Liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc, redbullracing, and 1,220,218 others

maxverstappen1 and here’s to my baby :)

June 3rd, 2024

View all 1,101 comments

user didn’t expect a soft launch from max fuckin verstappen 😨

user HELLO???

user this girl has style.. dressing him up? 😍😍

→ user I noticed the style change, didn’t expect all this tho

user i just know shes hot

user stop soft launching i need to know who it is

danielricciardo lucky man

→ maxverstappen1 i am very lucky

landonorris cutie

→ maxverstappen1 😘

→ alex_albon it’s official: lando is the one getting soft launched

→ landonorris shhh people aren’t supposed to know

lilymhe she’s the loml

georgerussell63 🤮🤮🤮

→ maxverstappen1 get out - the girl

→ georgerussell63 🤓🤓☝️☝️

IMESSAGE, MAX & YOU June 13th, 2024

max <3

the sunset is in two hours

i’m picking you up

and we’re going to the beach to watch it

yn

😭😭 okay max

max

see you soon :))

yn

yeah, i love you 🤍

max <3

say that again in person

not over text 🙄

yn

okay max 😭😭

max <3

i love you though

INSTAGRAM

maxverstappen1

Liked by lilymhe, landonorris, redbullracing, charles_leclerc, and 103,021 others

maxverstappen1 starry eyes sparking up my darkest nights.

June 13th, 2024

View all 1,001 comments

user AAUGGHH IM GOING CRAZY

user why are the captions so romantic… secret artist ? 😨

→ user lol she’s probably writing them for him

user charles gtfo 😭😭

user i love them (idk who she is)

landonorris 4 months tmr cutie 😍

→ maxverstappen1 i love you baby 🥰

→ user 4???? WHAATTT

alex_albon tell her to stop talkin abt u bro 🤦

→ maxverstappen1 no can do buckaroo

redbullracing our driver sure has some pretty good captions

lilymhe my gf 💖💖

IMESSAGE, CHARLES & YOU August 5th, 2024

don’t respond

you aren’t smart

yn

huh

don’t respond

you’re dating max?

is this just some petty thing ? cause i don’t like him?

yn

uhm no lmfao 😭

yeah i’m dating him though

don’t respond

is he better than me?

yn

yeah lol

100%

don’t respond

you know, he isn’t really the type to commit

yn

noted ? pretty sure he would’ve left by now

if that were the case lol

don’t respond

ok.

yn

lmfao.

You have blocked this person

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

🎶 let the light in : lana del rey (feat. father john misty)

Liked by landonorris, redbullracing, alex_albon, and 2,871,292 others

yourusername 🎀

October 1st, 2024

View all 3,202 comments

user OH MY GOD

user the man..

user i fell to my knees

user who is that

user my girl came back better than ever

user FINALLY ????

user she came back and started to soft launch a man gn

lilymhe wowwww 😍😍 i missed ur main acc posts

danielricciardo SERVED CUNT 💋

→ yourusername mwa 😚

danielricciardo i prayed for times like these

maxverstappen1 last slide kinda kinky

→ yourusername u wish, never horny on the main

→ user LMFAOO

landonorris ooooo let the light innnn

georgerussell63 odd post for ur first one back

→ yourusername sthu

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

Liked by redbullracing, maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, and 1,200 others

yourusername redbull is my fav btw

October 8th, 2024

View all 2,292 comments

user her smile ☹️🤍

user THAT DRINK IS SO YUM

user my aesthetic queen 🐳

user mystery man u are lucky

user she’s so captivating

user UGHHH 😔😔☹️☹️

charles_leclerc drink company’s don’t suit u

→ maxverstappen1 lol

→ user LMFAOO

→ user embarrassing urself...

redbullracing 💙💙💙

→ yourusername 🩵

landonorris papaya better actually ☝️🤓

→ yourusername errmm 🤓

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

Liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing, landonorris, lilymhe, and 3,110,210 others

yourusername i want to wear his initial on a chain ‘round my neck.

October 10th, 2024

View all 1,209 comments

user m.. suspicious

user is that not max’s new cat

user shes so cutesy

user IS THE CAPTION A LYRIC HELLOOO

user white men always win her over

landonorris mmmmmmmmmm 3️⃣🏆

→ yourusername sthu😭😭😭

→ user bro tryna give us easter eggs

lilymhe that bagel looks rlly fucking good

→ yourusername IT WAASSS

danielricciardo my bf guys

→ yourusername 😍 -m

redbullracing 🐐🐐🐐

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

Liked by maxverstappen1, lilymhe, landonorris, redbullracing and 3,101,119 others

yourusername new ep soon. 6 songs. ‘solo, tiwwchnt, ciwyw, dbm, sdg, and getaway car.” i hope u enjoy it.. out the 12th ! <3

November, 4th 2024

View all 5,110 comments

user i’m in a getaway car too queen

user “and here’s to my real friends” 2019 rookies & lily 🥲

→ yourusername my babies 4eva

user DONT BLAAAMEEE MEEE, LOVE MADE ME CRAZY 😩

user who cried and screamed listening to this album

user i brought a 🔪 to a 🔫 fight

user AHHHHHHHH

user thank u for yn’s not so mystery man but thank u for this ep ☝️☝️

landonorris used to being the GOAT

→ yourusername 🐐

danielricciardo getaway car on LOOP 🔂

maxverstappen1 but would u run away with me ?

→ yourusername yes!

→ user WHAATT

→ user this confirms everything basically

lilymhe so proud of u wifey 🤍🤍

→ yourusername mwaaa 💋

georgerussell63 i support this

→ yourusername thanks pretty princess

→ georgerussell63 nevermind

alex_albon lily and i will be listening on repeat

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

maxverstappen1

Liked by yourusername, landonorris, lilymhe, and 3,440,292 others

maxverstappen1 you said you love me, i say something back.

November 14th

View all 3,101 comments

user THE CHARLES SHADDEEE

user oh my hod. i adore them.

user ugh they’re the most bf gf couple ever

user charles could never LOOL

user these pictures im on the floor

user they’re my endgame

lilymhe she’s so cute in these pics

→ maxverstappen1 she’s always cute

danielricciardo FAVS

landonorris when they solo >

→ maxverstappen1 you’re the reason why i’m with her, thank you 😄

→ landonorris of course mate

christianhorner congratulations! happy for the both of you ���

georgerussell63 this is so goat coded

→ maxverstappen1 wow thanks

yourusername happy 9 months baby 💋

→ maxverstappen1 ik houd van je 🤍

→ user NINE. MONTHS.

→ user STOP NINEE…😭😭😭

yourusername wow we’re so adorable

arthur_leclerc thank you for making yn happier than my brother ever did 🙏🏼

→ maxverstappen ofc m8

→ user LMFAO EVEN HE’S TIRED OF CHARLES

౨ৎ finally… i posted… so SO so sorry for not posting in awhile, this took so long to post but 😭😭 here u gooo…. also thank u guys so much for 400 !!! i love u all <333 💋

taglist: @landovilla @moneygramhaas @ch3rryknots @amoosarte @1655clean @dark-night-sky-99 @kortneej81 @he6rtshaker ౨ৎ

[gatorbites-imagines]

Merry Christmas!!!!

so since it’s Christmas for me rn I was wondering if we could get some cute scenario with Tim drake, like him and his bf ending up under a mistletoe, or a snowball fight

I’m a sucker for fluff and just want some cute Christmas time!!!

Tim Drake x Hero male reader

Headcanons

I had iceman from the x-men on my mind as I wrote this. How was everyones holidays? Did yall get what you wanted? I got a weighted blanket, some books and kitchen stuff. I also got blasphemous 2, I’m not that good at it.

Having to patrol Christmas night was always a bummer, but crime never sleeps. In reality, crime got worse around these times of the year since people got so easily distracted and so many things were put inside stores.

Luckily for Tim, you were invited to the manor for the holidays this year since you guys have been dating for a while. Last year Tim celebrated with your family, so now you were joining his.

This also meant you joined up for patrol, meaning the bats had a whole new surprise in their arsenal, seeing as you could control ice, cold, water, so on and so forth.

It made dealing with criminals easy, since none of the rogues were out and about. Two-face, killer croc and Firefry apparently weren’t in Arkham, but they all seemed to be more focused on the actual holidays than crime. This just left you guys with some everyday criminals.

For you and Tim, this patrol felt more like a date than anything else. Apparently, Red Robin dating one of the known heroes from another city was enough to make the people you passed feel giddy.

You had been staying with the Waynes for the whole week leading up to the holidays, so you had patrolled for just as long. This also gave the Gotham citizens enough time to set up mistletoes and little goody bags wherever you guys were patrolling.

How the hell did the locals even get a mistletoe all the way up on a specific gargoyle you two liked to sit under as you enjoyed your hot chocolate? Gotham locals scared you sometimes with how determined they were, but it did make Tim blush, if only a little.

Later on, hed blame it on how cold it was, and the fact that you were pretty much made of ice when using your powers. It didn’t stop you from giving him a small peck though, even though it leaves his lips completely pink, and his face flushed from the cold.

You end up getting scolded by some of the Gotham locals. Theres no real heat behind it. It’s more the fact that they didn’t know you were coming, so none of them prepared gifts for you.

The bats never asked for gifts, but you learn they always get some from the locals, even if they try to turn them away. You think its pretty damn neat, and you damn near cry when an older lady gifts you a scarf she stayed up all night to make. It’s even got your blues and Tims reds, since you guys are very obvious.

When crimes are as low as it can get in Gotham, you spend time making sculptures around town with your powers. Most of them are of the bats, and yeah, there’s about twice as many of Tim as everyone else. You never go into enough detail for their identities to be obvious, but it’s just your way of bonding with the city.

With Gotham having the weather it does, the snow also tends to be pretty damn sucky. Luckily for them, your powers are very useful in turning it into nice white snow, perfect for snowmen and snowballs.

Some people are weary of you because of Freeze, but seeing you hang around the bats gets people outdoors. You being as friendly as you are, supplying people with snowballs into their hands, also helps.

None of the bats are really the type to just come down and play in the snow like you, throwing snowballs after some of them does help. Soon Nightwing, Spoiler and Signal are mixed into the snow fight.

The others are too serious or weary to just let loose. You know the other bats are as vigilant as the ones watching from the roofs, so are you, but you do wish your boyfriend would join.

You get him back later by shoving snow down the back of his suit when he isn’t paying attention to you. Tim can’t get you back since you’re pretty much made of ice, but he gets you back one way of another.

The holidays with the Bats is a whole experience, since they come from so many cultures. Theres so many different traditions and food, and its all worked into the celebration somehow.

Even a couple of your own traditions are worked into the celebration, if there’s anything specific your family does during the holidays, that Tim picked up last year.

You guys all get together to watch a movie together as well, even if some of the bats argue and throw some punches. The normal animosity between some of them is put away for the day, if there is any. But with a family that size you wouldn’t be shocked if someone was arguing.

You and Tim cuddle during the movie, of course, and you’re also wearing matching Christmas sweaters. They’re Green Lantern themed, and you note that none of the family members are wearing Batman shirts. Later you learn that this is one of their traditions, since Bruce one year got broody about it. Now he joins the tradition by wearing a superman sweater.

Theres mistletoes all over the manor, mainly because of you and Tim, and whoever else is brought to the manor as a romantic partner if there are any.

Tim is not the most comfortable with kissing in front of his whole family, so instead it just becomes pecks on the cheek. You end up freezing Jason’s tea right in his mug after he makes enough jokes about it.

In the morning you and Tim share gifts in his room, just the ones meant for you two, before you guys go down to join the others, in matching pajamas, obviously.

Before you guys leave Tims room he gives you a kiss that’s almost enough to make you melt, as payback for the snow in his suit. You don’t mind too much, even if some of his family joke about your red face and how smug Tim looks.

[mydarlingclaudia]

where my whole heart stays

note : this is really really not planned out and kinda sucky dw about it I had a vision and this is the result also there is like no dialogue

wc : 1.9k

tags : @luvrgreyy @clitorphosis

desc : funerals and drunk confessions. friends to lovers (??), angst, major character death, not proofread, ID!Leon - DI!Leon, fem!reader

Some of the first memories that Leon has of you have been the memories that have given him the most comfort over the years.

He met you back in the first grade, the two of you had assigned seats next to each other, you traded crayons, lunch, toys, you even traded shoes one time. An excited handshake was what solidified your friendship, he’d always be over at your house, you’d beg your mom to let him stay for another hour when he should’ve already been back home thirty minutes ago.

You were there for his families funeral in the third grade, the officer that saved him sat up in the front row of the church with him while he sobbed into the man’s side. Leon can’t remember how many people were at the funeral, he knows it was a few of his parents friends and some neighbors, but he remembers that you were there.

Your parents dressed you up in this black dress, not really funeral fitting, more like what you’d wear to a school concert, you had these shiny black shoes to match and switched out the tiny hoop earrings you wore everyday for small, white studs. You sat in the back of the church, you didn’t fallow along with any of the prayers or hymns sung, but the few times that Leon looked over his shoulder, you were always looking at him.

Leon still doesn’t remember the day of the funeral all that well, not that he thinks about it a lot, the only thing he can really remember that doesn’t make his chest squeeze up is how you ran up to him once everything was over and hugged him.

Leon hid away with you under one of the tables, sharing cookies and slices of salami off of a paper plate, you spilled your root beer and almost got it all over your dress. He doesn’t remember the song that was playing at dinner, but he taps his foot to the little bits that dug their way into his brain. He remembers that you hugged him once more before your parents decided it was time to go and he cried into the nape of your neck, you told him you’d see him at school on Monday.

Life carried on, Leon didn’t talk to you a lot about the funeral. You always have him a look in quiet moments, like if he wanted to talk, you wouldn’t stop him. You thought it was cool that he wanted to be a cop, you told him it was fitting, that was back when you were ten.

When the two of you were in your freshman year of high school, your parents split and you only hung out with Leon every other weekend. Sometimes Leon would come to see you on weekends when you were away, or at the very least he’d call.

He still had sleep-overs with you, you’d sleep in your bed and he’d be on your bedroom floor, the door would be wide open and you’d whisper to him at night about what you’d do after high school.

One time after a school dance he came back to your house and you stole your moms whiskey after she went to bed, you said you’d done it before, Leon lied and said that it wasn’t his first time drinking. Leon’s not quite sure, but he thinks he fell for you that night. He’d known he liked you before that night, boys do that when they spend years around a pretty girl, but that night when the two of you got drunk you told him you loved him.

Leon forgets a lot of things, like what the context for your “I love you” was, but it stuck with him. He pretended to forget it the next morning even though you didn’t bring it up, he also can’t remember if you kissed him or not.

School dances, sleep-overs, breakfasts with your mom, the passenger seat of your car, it all became a memory for Leon after the two of you graduated. You kept in touch after high school, you’d always talk about how badly you wanted to see him when you came home for the summer since you moved a few states away for college.

The last time he saw you was the summer of 1998, before Raccoon City. After that the calls lessened, he wasn’t really allowed to talk to you, but he’d call you every once in a while as he choked back tears.

But he’s back now, just not for a reason either of you really wanted.

Leon followed the local news of your town even as he was being carted around the world to fight unimaginable things, when he saw that your mom had passed he knew it was time to come home.

You look so different than you did when he last saw you, not seeing someone for eight years tends to lead to changes. You don’t look the same as you did when you came to his families funeral when you were eight, either.

The way you’re dressed makes you look more mature, it’s more professional than school concert-y. And it’s pretty, too.

You made Leon go sit up in the front row with you during the funeral, you held onto his hand so tightly when you asked him if he’d sit with you that he couldn’t even stomach turning you down. He held you just as tight when you finally sat down, his right arm was wrapped around your shoulder and he held your left hand in his lap with his own.

You didn’t go up to speak, you handed the speech you had prepared to your dad and curled back into Leon’s side.

You stayed curled into him for the rest of the night, even when people began leaving the bar or coming up to you to offer their condolences, you didn’t let go of Leon.

Even as he’s leaving, you’re still chasing him.

“Where are you going?” You’re trailing behind him, hanging onto the sleeve of his suit as he heads to the bars exit.

“I told you, I gotta go, it’s urgent.” He couldn’t get time off of work to save his life, the agency is always finding something for him to take care of. You’re tipsy, and you’re clingy, he’d call himself clingy too, but he doesn’t have the option to stay.

“But where?”

“It’s work,”

“Leon, please.” You grip Leon’s shoulders and he stops, standing just beside the door. He puts a hand on your waist and you melt into him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders.

“Thank you for coming today.” You whisper, he moves his hand from your waist to rest both on your back.

“Yeah, of course.” Leon mumbled against your hair, running one of his hands up and down your spine.

“I missed you,” The way your breath fans over his neck makes him shiver. He whispers the same thing back to you, you giggle. “When’re you gonna be back in town?”

“I’m not sure, work keeps me busy.” You sigh when he tells you that, you nuzzle into his shoulder.

“Just… Just call me when you’re around, okay?”

“Okay,” He squeezes your waist and pulls back a tiny bit to look at you. “I gotta go now.”

“Please don’t.”

“I…” Leon opens his mouth and closes it again for a second or two before speaking. “I have to, I’m sorry.” You sniffle, his hands come up to cup your face and wipe your teary eyes. “I’ll call you, I will.”

“Okay,” You let go of him for only a second before you lean back in to kiss his cheek, then a few more before you kiss the corner of his mouth, he would've kissed you back if he had had a second longer to think. “I- I’ll see you later, love you.”

You pull back fully, turning away to let him leave.

“… Yeah.”

—

When it was finally your turn to have a funeral of your own, Leon sat in the back of the church, your dad had offered him a seat in the front row, but he turned it down. He wasn't family, wasn't your husband.

All he could think back to was your mom's funeral, with him holding you tightly as you sobbed into his chest, the way you clung to him the whole night. Leon has nothing to hold onto now except the wrinkled tissue in his hand, he's not sure how to handle this. He's lost plenty of people in his life, but this is worse. You were supposed to outlive him because you lived a normal life that he so badly wanted to share with you, at least you had kept in touch, that's the only thing that was normal for him.

Over the ten years that passed he made seeing you and calling you a need-to. He'd call once or twice a month and fly out to visit you maybe once or twice a year, it doesn't seem like a lot, but it was enough.

You always seemed so happy to see him, whether it was over the phone or in person, you clung onto every word. His time with you gave him glimpses into the life he could've had, you'd make him breakfast on the first morning of his visits, then he'd cook for you for the rest of the week, you'd stay up late watching movies together like you were back in high school.

Leon couldn't quite describe what kind of drunk you were, clingy, maybe. But he'd grown to repeat your "I love you"'s back to you when the two of you were drinking.

The last time he had seen you was three months ago, he never told you too much about his job, and if he did it was a lie, but he really just wanted to hear you talk about your life. You told him about your promotion and how you were going to renovate your house or something, Leon just told you his work had been the same as always.

You seemed so happy, even when you reached out for his hand and held onto it while you sat at the table eating dinner together, it made Leon feel like he was supposed to be there.

Your funeral had been lovely, Leon just wishes he was back home under different circumstances.

And even when it's over, and he's sitting at the bar nursing a whiskey and not speaking unless spoken to, all he can think about is you. He always thought you were too good for him, what he never wanted to think about was you at his own funeral. There were things he never told you and things you never told him, at least when you were sober, maybe he'll find some old yearbook with a confession written in it when he goes to clean out your house with your dad.

Then there's that song. That song that played during dinner after his parents funeral, where you and him sat under the table and hid from the other guests. He hasn't heard it in years, he certainly doesn't remember the name of the words, he remembers how you bopped your head to it, though.

Leon figures it's time to go once the song is over, he downs the last of his whiskey and turns the glass cup upside down as he stands, at least he knows you loved him when drunk.

[1d1195]

Ding - Round 6

Read Ding here | ~6.3k words

Warnings: some smut 18+ only, oral, fingering, cockwarming if you squint; angst, car accident, trauma dumping, sucky parental figure. Please read with caution. You might also see one of my cliffhangers.

From me: I feel like the beginning is messy to read--almost like it's out of nowhere? But it's pretty intentional, tbh. I hope it doesn't detract from the story. Hope you like it 💕

Summary: Cupcake and Harry are busy. Harry has his big fight. Cupcake was right about throwing her life out of balance by adding in a boyfriend. They miss each other. They don't know how to deal with that either. At least not while they're apart.

It was not Harry’s fault. Even though he thought it was.

But to be fair, it wasn’t her fault either. Even if she felt it was.

Harry grew into adulthood knowing he was stubborn. Everyone in his life told him so. It was obvious. He didn’t get to be an undefeated champion without grit. His entire gym was named as a near synonym of the word. But she continued to surprise him, and it was clear that he had very much met his match—she was competing for his crown of stubbornness. If Harry wasn’t so mad about his current state, he might even acknowledge that she was winning.

At first everything was new and completely fine. He was enamored with her. Finally she was all his. He took her on a real date—several real, authentic dates. He danced around with her in the bakery kitchen. Brought her food for movie nights in her apartment. (He also licked her when the movie lost his attention, and she looked too good to be sitting there without his head between her legs.) He even brought her bouquets of flowers simply because it was Monday.

She stayed at his place, wrapped close to him. It was as if they had done it for years. When he woke up early for a run, she joined him, assuring him to go ahead and circle back for her since he ran way better and faster than she did. But he enjoyed the way she massaged his muscles in the shower most. (The way she wrapped her hand around his dick most of all.) She made him breakfast before they left for work and Harry thought if the bakery wasn’t to her liking she could open a breakfast place as a second choice.

She chatted with Sarah while he worked out and trained. Without any kind of asking, she helped clean equipment when he needed to focus more on training. She organized his desk in his office because it was a disaster and it stressed her out. Whenever she cleaned, she hummed and didn’t notice. It made Harry fall deeper in love with her. Every moment he was with her was magical.

Until she was exhausted.

He missed her. For the first time in his life, he had felt completely in love with someone. The way he wanted to be in love. He finally had that. They were inseparable. Nights spent cocooned under Harry’s covers. His finger tracing her features in the dark. “So pretty,” he murmured.

“You can’t even see me,” she whispered.

“S’how I know you’re so pretty. Can feel it.”

So not having that for two weeks was like trying to swim through cement.

She had what could only be called a complete meltdown. Frosting and cupcakes everywhere. She was overwhelmed—said yes to too many functions in a row and spread herself too thin. She was frustrated with Harry and his time training and just missed him.

But she didn’t say it.

Because Harry was frustrated too. He tried to help her, but she didn’t let him in. There was the whole not knowing her family—even though she had effectively wormed her way into Mum and Gemma’s heart. Though he wasn’t surprised in the slightest; honestly, he thought his niece liked her more than Harry and she had only met her twice.

So, when she exploded, for lack of a better word, it was magnificent. It was nothing he had ever seen before. The exhaustion in her eyes, the worry on her face, the tears that spilled down her cheeks. Harry was sick with worry and frustration just to hear her cry but was nearly impressed. The cupcakes overturned on the floor were nothing in comparison to the way she cried.

“Cupcake, you are overreact—”

“Do not finish that sentence,” she hissed at him. That was entirely on him. Gem had taught him better than to tell a woman she was overreacting.

“Lemme take something off your plate, kitten,” he tried instead. He was ignoring her frustrated tears even though he wanted to brush them away. “Tell me what’s going on,” he figured it had something to do with her dad because she kept checking her phone and she hadn’t mentioned going to see him in over a week. But her car was overdue for an oil change, and she didn’t want to drive it that far but hadn’t a moment to deal with it. She also complained about something regarding her eyebrows, but Harry didn’t fully understand it because quite honestly, he had never thought about her eyebrows.

But if it meant caring for herself, he wished he pushed further.

Their schedules hadn’t lined up in two weeks. No more than an hour or two alone. She saw him plenty while she chatted with Sarah at the gym while he trained or worked. He and Maeve had started a competition of who could sprinkle the most cupcakes in fifteen minutes (Harry was willing to admit defeat once in his life—he would never beat Maeve) even though she didn’t like that they were having fun when she was stressed.

They hadn’t practiced her self-defense moves in nearly a month.

So, it felt like her fault.

But what she hadn’t anticipated was Harry’s sour attitude reflecting right back at her. Harry didn’t take her frustration lying down. He snapped back at her which felt so heinous to do but he was grumpy.

But he was tired of arguing with her. Tired of feeling frustrated, begging her to let him in when it was obvious she didn’t want to. So, for the first time in his life, he stopped fighting.

It pained him to no end. He could see in her eyes that she was exhausted. It hurt him so badly. Each time he said, “Whatever, Cupcake,” he felt like the worst boyfriend in the world for not taking her frustration away. But she wouldn’t let him in. She wouldn’t let him take away her frustration. It was like she wanted to argue with him. It was entirely unfair, but she was mad about his indifference. It didn’t make any sense for her to be mad when she had just as much blame to take for his sour mood.

“Why don’t you just go home?” She suggested. Bitterness coated every word.

“Yeah?” Harry looked up at her from his phone, his eyes narrowed. She could see his muscles tense like they were in the ring, and she was aiming for his head. “Jus’ leave?” He repeated.

“Obviously you don’t want to be here,” she muttered.

He slid back from the table, the chair scraping against the floor with a screech that made her teeth hurt. “No, cupcake,” he shook his head and made his way for the door. She hated itwhen he said the sweet name like that. She knew it wasn’t her nickname when he said it. It wasn’t filled with the love he liked. It was sarcastic. Mean. It hurt her more than an actual punch would have, she was sure. “You don’t want me here,” his voice was low. She closed her eyes, trying to keep as calm as possible. It was hard because she was anything but calm. But she said nothing. “You don’t want me in your life,” he snapped finally letting all the emotion out that had been building over the last week. “You keep things from me. You build up walls that I can’t break down. Every time I get to the top y’add another layer of bricks.”

She stayed silent.

“Go on, cupcake. Say m’wrong,” he challenged. “Say y’let me in.”

But both knew she couldn’t say it.

It was eerily quiet in the kitchen. The pinch of Harry’s brow made her sad. She wanted to smooth it out with a kiss. “Tell me to stay,” he whispered quietly.

But she couldn’t say that either.

“Yeah,” he sighed and turned. “S’what I thought.”

*

Maeve wondered if her best friend was going to have a heart attack a lot during her time at A Pinch of Sprinkles. The opening in town nearly sent her to the ER. She was running on fumes at the time. Christmas always made her anxious. Anytime they were chosen for a wedding also had Maeve worrying about her medical history. But in comparison, those were nothing. If Maeve had known what not talking to Harry would do to her, she would have told her that Christmas was a tropical vacation.

Harry stopped coming to see her.

“Did...” she swallowed, nervous to infuriate her best friend further but out of care for her, she had to know. “Is... Harry still...”

She glared at the cupcakes she was frosting, squeezing the icing bag a little too tightly. “I don’t know,” she grumbled. She hadn’t gotten a text from him nor seen him in a week after she told him to leave.

Maeve’s heart cracked. “Babe,” Maeve murmured softly.  “He... he adores you... what happened?”

She shook her head unwilling to go over it again. The nights were filled with tear-soaked pillowcases, and she was exhausted from stress and crying. “I just can’t be in a relationship. It’s too much.”

Of course.

Maeve was sick of her best friend’s loneliness. “That is bullshit,” Maeve rolled her eyes. “Did you push him away?”

“Maeve, shut the fuck—”

“Oh, good luck pushing me away, babe. No,” she shook her head and grabbed the bag of frosting from her hands and threw it at the sink to gain her attention.

“I was wor—”

Maeve ignored her words and continued on with her own. “I might not be a boxer, but I can take a punch or two all the same. You pushed him away. Now you’re sulking. You’ve been punishing yourself for so long because you think you don’t deserve to be happy. Harry did nothing but love you and try to help you and you wouldn’t let him—”

“I am going to fire you,” she muttered bitterly. Harry never said he loved her anyway. How could he love her after all that? How could he love her if he didn’t even know the truth?

Maeve continued anyway, immune to her threat because she knew that wasn’t true at all. “You deserve to be happy, and Harry made you happy. That scares you,” she finished.

Angry tears filled her eyes and she ground her teeth together.

“You’re not going to say anything?”

Maeve was her best friend and knew more about her and her family than anyone. “I don’t get happy things.”

“But you do. You have me, number one,” she snorted, fortunately. The tension eased just the slightest bit. “You have this bakery. And more importantly, you have a guy that is so crazy about you, he has been calling me every night to make sure you’re home safe and sound.” Her heart fluttered. She didn’t know that.

“Every time I love someone, they go away,” she whispered.

Maeve felt nothing but sympathy for her sweet friend. “You have to give Harry a chance. You have to tell him why you’re doing this. I have a good feeling about him,” Maeve reminded her. For the first time in a week, she felt her body untense.

“He calls you?” She asked.

“Every night.”

She bit the inside of her lip. “That’s nice,” she whispered.

Maeve nodded. “Really nice,” she agreed. “Plus, he’s like super hot. Did you even sleep with him yet?” She blushed at her words and reached for a new frosting bag out of the fridge. “You bitch! You didn’t tell me?!” Maeve screeched. She smacked her arm repeatedly. “Tell me everything! When did you do it? Where did you do it? Harry must have a massive dick, right? I feel like he’s—”

“Maeve,” she laughed. The first time in a week. It felt good to laugh. “I...”

“No, you have to spill. Something.”

Her cheeks were flaming. “I think I’m addicted to it,” she whispered.

“Thank. God.”

*

Harry refused to go back to the bakery for the rest of the week uninvited. His workout sessions were horrific. Louis yelled at him for missing his marks and he felt everything about his footwork was sloppy. The way she ignored him made him feel terrible. But naturally, he didn’t help either. He hadn’t texted her in over a week.

But it didn’t stop Harry from waking up to a call at eleven thirty at night.

“What?” He grumbled. He didn’t want to fight. He was tired of arguing with her and was tired of being frustrated. She would have to do the work if she was going to try and fix this when he needed sleep.

The sound of her shaky breath snapped his eyes open. “Can you come get me?” She croaked.

That did him in within seconds. The vulnerability in her voice. “Cupcake, s’matter?” He was awake instantly. It wasn’t sarcastic. It was her name. The one he used that made her feel adored. It was sweet and made her feel better almost as if he was already at the bakery. He quickly slid into trainers that he didn’t even untie; the back of the heel was smushed down and uncomfortable against his foot, but it didn’t matter. Her sniffling made him insane with worry. It was like the last few weeks hadn’t happened. “Kitten, talk to me,” he ordered. His heart racing and his fear taking over. He wasn’t sure he locked his door, and he was lucky he even remembered to grab his car keys before he descended the stairs to the parking lot.

“I’m alright,” she promised, tears filling most of her voice.

“Y’don’t sound alright.”

“I’m fine,” she repeated.

“Cupcake, I swear t’God,” he threw his car into drive before it was fully turned on.

“I just miss you. I’m sad and scared. Okay? I’m physically fine, but I’m a mess. I want you here,” her voice wobbled, and Harry felt like he was breaking. “Please,” she sniffled.

Harry felt crushing relief and he watched the needle on Clay’s speedometer lower from a felony charge to a healthy speeding ticket.  “M’five minutes away, kitten. Stay put.”

“Okay,” her voice was quiet, sad but Harry didn’t mind.

“You’re okay?” He repeated. She nodded. He couldn’t see that though. “Cupcake?”

“I’m okay,” she promised, it was punctuated by a sniffle.

His heart felt so broken feeling the anguish in her voice. “I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he whispered to the phone. “I wasn’t nice,” he mumbled.

“It’s hard,” she whispered. The remainder of his drive was silent. Just her sniffles and the hum of his tires on the road to accompany the small miles between them. Harry sprinted to her bakery door. She was there pacing the front and unlocked it as he approached. Harry dropped his phone right inside the entryway, the bell signaling his arrival, finally.

Within one second of crossing the threshold, she was in his arms. The door only clicked shut once he was around her. His face buried in her hair, his arms tightening around her like he was trying to keep her afloat in the middle of the ocean. “M’here,” he hummed. “M’here, Cupcake,” he promised. She squeezed her eyes shut, her heart finally slowing after so much anxiety had plagued her over the last couple of weeks.

“I’m sorry.”

“I know, baby, I know,” he assured her. “S’okay.”

“It’s so hard,” she repeated, herself from the phone call. Harry wished they were home. Even though it was late and private Harry wanted the comfort of her bed or his sofa to let her fall apart. The bakery was warm, but he wanted pillows for her head and blankets for her body to comfort her while she whispered secrets to him.

“I know, kitten. I know s’hard. But I... I adore you, Cupcake. Don’t y’know that? What do y’think all this is between us? I want t’meet your dad. He’s obviously a huge part of your life... and keeping secrets from me? S’not fair.”

“I know it’s not fair.”

“You know everything ‘bout me. S’like I don’t get t’know anything ‘bout you. Do y’think I’m suddenly not going to like you? I assure you that’s never going t��happen.”

“You don’t know that. You don’t know what I did.”

“What could you possibly have done? You’re made of sugar, Cupcake. You have to let me in. I told you everything. You know my family. You know my friends. You know why I bought Driven and why I have been fighting since I was ten years old. You have kept me out of everything. I don’t even know why you opened A Pinch of Sprinkles. I know you have a dad. You never talk about your mom. I don’t know about your childhood best friend or your favorite pet. There are these walls you keep up and I don’t know why, and I don’t know how to break them down.”

“You don’t eat cupcakes when you’re sad,” her jaw shakes as she pulls from him. The space between them feels worse than the last few weeks without her combined. It’s cold and lonely. More so than not speaking to her. More so than not sleeping beside her. His heart hurt instantly. But not as much as it hurt to watch her lower lip move almost independently of the rest of her face.

“Cupcake, what does that have t’do—”

But before he could finish his thought Harry could see it did have to do with what he just asked about. The way her eyes were shining with tears. It felt like someone clipped his vocal cords. All words escaped him, and he just stared at her as she continued. “You eat them at baby showers, weddings, and at birthday parties,” she listed. Harry stayed quiet. “You don’t eat them when your mom leaves when you’re six years old because it’s too much to be a mom,” her voice was so broken as she spoke. Harry felt her pain in the air. Like needles stabbing every inch of his exposed skin. It seemed impossible that someone wouldn’t want her. To willingly choose to leave her. Her mum no less. She was looking at her hands like they were going to give her the answer to a test she forgot to study for. “You don’t eat them at funerals or when you break your arm,” she continued. Harry wondered who had died and which arm she had broken and how. “You eat them when you get a good grade on your math test or on an anniversary.” Harry’s heart was breaking. He always wondered about the things she kept hidden in her personal life and she laid it out right there for him. In the one place that she probably loved more than anywhere else on earth. “You don’t eat them when you’re sick or sad. They’re for when you’re happy. You can’t be sad while eating sprinkles.”

It clicked effortlessly. Obviously. “A pinch of sprinkles,” he murmured softly. He crossed the space that separated them. Immediately, he cupped her cheeks in his hands, they felt cool compared to the warmth that emanated from her skin. Hot, frustrated tears started to spill over. He swiped at them with his thumbs below her eyes in tandem. He caught as many as he could but there was an overwhelming number of teardrops. It was impossible for him to keep them all from falling in rivers down her face.

She nodded. Her tears continued to spill over, rolling down her cheeks and sliding down his thumbs as he tried to stop them. “A pinch of sprinkles,” she repeated softly. She inhaled sharply. Turning against his hands holding her in place. A new wave of anguish crossed her face that Harry didn’t know could exist on someone’s face—especially not her perfect features. All the art museums he went to in university for his art history requirement made sense. The distortion of features on someone so beautiful was right before him. He understood. “You don’t eat cupcakes when your dad is in a car accident and becomes paralyzed from the neck down because you were too tired to drive even though you were the one that wanted to go to the drive-in and the only thing you can do is bring him to an entirely new town with a place to help him the way he deserves because it’s never going to be enough to thank him or repay him or—” the words were cut off by sobs that she could no longer control. Her heart was breaking right in front of him.

Harry knew how to fight. He knew how to stand with poise and grace that no one would expect a boxer to have. He knew how to throw punches that could knock a grown man out in one hit. The correct form to kick was ingrained in his mind from when he was ten years old.

Harry didn’t know how to begin to fight her sadness.

“Cupcake,” he whispered. She covered her mouth and the noise that came out of her body was so sad, so broken. Harry wondered how she could still be standing. Harry always thought he was pretty tough. That stubborn nature of his thought he was one of the toughest people in a room.

But he wasn’t. Not even close.

The pretty, sweet girl who was constantly covered in sugar and frosting—she was the strongest person he knew.

He couldn’t begin to imagine what she went through—how she still coped with it. It was a miracle she got in a car ever again. She was braver than he ever was or could be. “And he doesn’t hate me,” she whispered through her sobs. “My mom left him because of me. He is in a wheelchair and unable to live a normal life because of me.”

“Kitten,” he warned worried she would work herself up too much beyond his ability to help her. Harry was an idiot for making her feel this. He couldn’t leave well enough alone. If he only knew...

“Why doesn’t he just hate me?” She whimpered and Harry finally pulled her into his embrace. Her tears immediately soaked his shirt. She got snot all over him and Harry just kept her close to him he let her cry for longer than he ever wanted her to, but it felt good to hold her again. Regardless of the pain.

“How could anyone hate you, Cupcake?" he asked after a minute.

“I hate me,” she whispered. The question was rhetorical, but she responded anyway.

He kissed the top of her head. “If I had a kid like you... S’not anything I wouldn’t do for them. Your dad doesn’t regret that.”

“Of course he does,” she sniffled. “I couldn’t even take care of him.”

“It wasn’t your job, Cupcake.”

“But it was my faul—”

“Take me t’meet him,” he interrupted.

She blinked, confused. “What?”

“Take me to meet him. Y’go every week, yeah? Take me,” he asked. She felt so vulnerable. Her heart felt heavy.

“Meet him?” She whispered. Harry didn’t even comment that she repeated him again.

He nodded. “He saved your life for me, Cupcake. M’sure of it. S’least I could do t’meet him.”

Her heart felt something dangerously close to hope enveloping it. It was too good to be true. Her dream job, a cute apartment, a best friend, and the perfect guy. “You don’t hate me?”

He scoffed and buried his face in her neck. He missed her smell—vanilla and sugar (although he wasn’t sure that was truly her natural scent but merely from spending so much time in the kitchen). He missed her voice and the warmth he felt just holding her in his arms. “Christ, Kitten. Course not.”

“But I was so... awful. And I... I ruined his life. I'm cursed or something. I'll... I'll ruin your life too.”

"Sweetheart," he cooed. "Y'don't really believe that, do you?"

"I'm not a good luck charm, Harry."

"You are, Cupcake. You are the luckiest thing s'ever happened to me."

She looked at him miserably. "I've done nothing but made your life confusing and hell."

He pulled back a little so he could get a clearer look at her face. He smiled. The first genuine smile he felt in a week. “I can take a punch every now and again,” he promised. “Think Louis would say I could be knocked down a peg or two every once in a while,” he winked.

It wasn’t fixed. But she looked slightly less broken. She felt a little more whole. Harry’s smile did wonders for her.

*

The next day, Harry stood in the hall outside of the dining room. Other residents were in various activities, but her dad sat in his chair, slumped slightly, and he smiled at her entrance.

“Dad,” she said softly sitting across from him.

“Busy week you had it seems,” he smiled.

She blushed. “I know. I’m so sorry. I should have called. It was one thing after another—it’s no excuse I should have been here, and I was—”

“Honey,” he shook his head slightly, one of the few movements he retained from the crash. “You’re living a life. It’s okay.”

Her heart broke to see him in his chair. Unable to live the same kind of life.

“I... brought... something.”

“Something or someone?”

“How do you know?”

“I don’t see a cupcake box, so this must trouble,” he joked, smiling brightly.

“Harry is here. He wanted to meet you,” she explained.

“He wanted to? What about you?” He asked. She looked at him nervously. Her eyes said everything she didn’t say out loud. Her dad continued to smile. “Well, it’s about time, honey.”

She rolled her eyes and waved him over. Harry hurried, stepping right beside his wheelchair. Without hesitating, he grabbed her dad’s limp hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you sir,” he said shaking it firmly with both hands. When the handshake was through, Harry ever so gently placed his hand back on the arm rest of his chair.

Her dad smirked and winked at the sweet girl. “I’d offer you my seat, Harry, but I’m afraid I’m stuck in it.”

“Jesus Christ,” she covered her hand over her eyes.

Harry chuckled, taking the seat on the side of the table between them. “No problem, sir,” he assured him, taking the joke in stride. Adoration for them both squeezed around her heart. “Cupcake, do y’mind getting us some water?” She blinked in surprise. Normally, Harry wouldn’t let her lift a finger.

“Oh... um... sure,” she said and hurried off to find a nurse to help.

“Cupcake?” Her dad repeated.

“Yes, sir. She’s quite sweet like one,” he smiled gently. Her dad stared Harry down for a moment. Not maliciously. Just watching. Waiting. If they were in the ring, they would have been eyeing one another waiting for someone to make a move.

Her dad made the first one. “She said you wanted to meet me.”

Harry nodded. “I adore your daughter. With everything in me. M’going t’protect her every moment of every day. I wanted you t’hear that from me. I wanted you t’know that.”

“She can be a little feisty sometimes,” he warned, but the smile didn’t leave his face.

“M’aware,” he didn’t want to tell him about their stalemate over the last few weeks. That didn’t matter anymore and it wouldn't paint either of them in a good light.

“She said you have a big match coming up.”

He nodded. “Yes, sir. Biggest one of m’career.”

“Think you’ll win?” He asked.

Harry was confident. But he didn’t like to let his confidence overinflate his chances or make himself sound presumptuous. Anything could happen. But he was going to try his hardest and best. That would be good enough for him. “I believe so. I’ve worked hard for this. I want it more than most anything,” he promised.

“Most?” Just like his daughter, he caught the key word.

“Most,” he repeated. There was a significant pause as Harry considered his next thoughts. The words he didn’t want to explain but what he wanted her dad to know anyway. “Did she tell you about Jack?” Harry asked quietly.

The name didn’t ring a bell. He shook his head. “No. She doesn’t always tell me everything.”

Harry smiled sadly. “At least she’s consistent,” he murmured. “My manager Louis and I teach self-defense classes... she joined one several months ago,” he let another pause tell her dad the words he didn’t want to say. The story he probably shouldn’t be telling him in the first place. “M’confident she could protect herself. But m’hoping she won’t ever have to. M’going t’keep her safe,” he assured him. “I promise.”

He could only imagine the wave of emotions that took over his brain. Harry obviously wasn’t a father, but he didn’t need to be one to know he would murder someone for his daughter. Paralysis or not. “And you?” He asked quietly. Digesting the bit of information Harry alluded to.

“Me?” Harry repeated.

“Are you going to hurt her?”

“Never,” he assured him. “I’d... I’d take a bullet for her,” he promised.

“Speaking from experience, that might hurt her more than just letting her take the bullet,” he chuckled and winked. Harry snorted but nodded.

“Understood.”

She returned with three glasses of water and an extra long straw for her father. “You guys sharing war stories about me?”

“I was jus�� ‘bout t’tell him how you’re trying t’fatten me up with raspberry lemon filling,” Harry stood and held her chair out for her to sit.

“You are more than capable of saying no to cupcakes, Harry.”

“I beg to differ, honey. It’s a sin to say no to them,” her dad smiled. “A sin to say no to you,” he winked again.

*

Their reunion in Harry’s home was carnal to say the least. Harry missed being inside her. He wanted to fall asleep with her wrapped around his dick. Harry had spent many years of his teens taking care of his own sexual needs and yet somehow the weeks apart from her were worse than all those years combined.

Perhaps it was the noises she made. Begging Harry for a release. Her body craved his. It felt like a part of her had been missing for the duration of their silly stalemate. It may have only been a few weeks, but it was a few weeks without orgasms made possible by Harry’s mouth, fingers, and dick.

“I wanna stay inside you the rest of m’life,” he moaned into her ear in the middle of the night. They would both be tired in the morning. Louis would probably hate her (even though Harry assured her that was impossible) but it was worth it.

*

They started going over her self-defense moves again in between dinner and TV shows. Harry was encouraging. Making sure she followed the right move and not her instinct. Correcting her form and making sure she knew he would always be there for her. She told him more secrets that made Harry feel so whole.

She watched him train. Harry walked her to her car after falling asleep on the table in the bakery kitchen. They hadn’t spent a night apart since Harry met her dad. They fell asleep watching a movie or show nearly every night. Harry would simply lift her in his arms and carry her to the bedroom. She would coax him out of his slumber and snuggle up to him as they made it to a more comfortable position in bed.

That was the case one week prior to Harry’s big fight.

He had fallen asleep in her lap (after he had lazily brought her to orgasm with nothing more than stroking his finger messily around her clit. Simply because he could and thought her sleep shorts looked lonely without his hand inside them). Now he had an arm wrapped around her waist, face nuzzled against her T-shirt. “I love you, Cupcake,” he mumbled sleepily. She ignored it. Thought that maybe he was asleep because surely someone so big and strong—someone so scary yet boyish—couldn’t love her after all she put him through. No matter how good her mouth was on his dick. “Hear me, kitten?” He asked rolling to look up at her.

She smiled, blushing. “I heard you, thought you were sleeping.”

“Well, I love you in m’sleep, too,” he turned again, rubbing his nose against her shirt. She giggled, rubbing her fingers through his hair and massaging scalp. She was so enamored and so surprised she felt speechless. “So you’re supposed t’say it back,” he turned and looked up at her. “Unless...y’don’t feel the same way...or I said it too soon or something and it’s—”

“Oh no way,” she assured him. “I love you very much,” she laughed and brought her face down to his and kissed him.

*

The morning of his fight, they woke up early. Harry headed into the shower, and she followed right behind him. With a sleepy smile he enjoyed the feel of her mouth on him as he always did, gripping her hair in his hands while he thought about how a $100,000 would change his life and allow him to spoil her.

But after a healthy breakfast (and another blowjob from beneath the table while he ate because she simply thought he deserved a relaxed morning) there was no use denying it.

Harry was grumpy.

By the time they got to Driven, he snapped at her a few times (more than a few times) and she took it like a champ. In fact, she was planning on ignoring it entirely. It wasn’t his fault. Stress was natural on a day like today. His warmup wasn’t supposed to be heavy the day of a massive fight like this even though he tested Louis’ patience to no end.

“Again,” he snarled at Louis. Louis looked at her for support.

“Baby, you need—”

“I said, again. I know what m’doing,” he growled ignoring her.

Louis let him have one more round of practice. But it was Louis’ comments on his attitude that he found her around lunch time in his office setting up a light lunch from one of his favorite restaurants nearby. Tail between his legs. “M’sorry I snapped, kitten. S’jus’ the nerves.”

She smiled. “I know, baby. It’s okay.”

“S’not okay, though.”

She shook her head grinning at him. “I’ll yet at you later when you eat the frosting off my cupcakes.”

He nodded. “M’gonna hold you to that,” he promised.

“I know it’s silly to say. But don’t be nervous. You’re going to win, I can feel it,” she assured him and draped herself in his lap while he ate his carrot sticks.

“Course. M’good luck charm will be there,” he brushed his finger on her cheek.

“You know, I hate when you get hit. It's been my least favorite part of this whole experience.”

He shrugged. “So, I won’t get hit,” he smiled knowingly.

She laughed. “I don’t think I’m much of a good luck charm when you were already undefeated when I met you,” she reminded him.

He felt everything soften in him. The tenseness, the anger, and the frustration all disappeared. “Oh, kitten,” he shook his head. “You have been m’good luck charm for so much more than boxing matches.”

*

Louis was ready to explode with anger. Part of her wondered if he had ever followed through on his threats of getting in the ring to throw punches at Harry. She thought it might be cathartic for him. Before she can blink, the introductions are over. The sound of the bell chimes through the arena room.

Ding

Round one was over and she was holding her breath so she seriously considered the idea that she had blacked out and missed it. But Niall had murmured to her that he didn’t get hit once and she felt so proud, so excited. The kind of money Harry was going to win would do incredible things for his life. Maybe in addition to holding her breath, she had squeezed her eyes shut and turned to Niall.

His opponent was big, strong. He wasn't facing Harry because he wasn't good. It terrified to think the kind of damage an opponent like him could do to him.

“Looks like he forgot extra towels,” Niall murmured to her bringing her back to reality. She could see the irritation in Louis’ eyes and Harry holding his hands up with the gloves. How did y’expect me t’grab them? She could imagine him grumbling back only further irritating Harry. There was enough for the time being but she knew they would go through a stack of them in no time at all.

“I’ll get them,” she offered standing waving at him in some silent sign language neither discussed but Louis knew what it meant. He looked the slightest bit more relaxed by her standing. Part of her thought for the first time in their relationship he didn’t hate her. Even though Harry assured her repeatedly that he didn't. (He was utterly kind to her throughout the self-defense classes and when Harry reminded her of such, she alluded to the fact that she paid for that kindness.)

“Cupcake, you’re the best,” Niall squeezed the back of her arm as he stayed put. “Want me to come with you?” He asked.

“No, I got it,” she smiled. “I’m going to use the bathroom and hit the concession stand too. So, if I’m not back at the end of the next round I didn’t fall in the laundry basket,” she promised. Niall chuckled and waved her off.

After going to the bathroom and making her way back to the locker room, flashing her badge around her neck, she found the extra towels laid out. The noise was deafening—even from inside the locker room. She grabbed an armful's worth and made her way toward the entrance to the arena.

When she turned around, the last person she ever thought she’d see was waiting just inside the door. The volume behind him hadn’t changed. But she swore in that moment, the crowd, the bell, the thudding of her heart, everything got louder.

She knew he was trying to intimidate her just by standing there. There wasn’t a single person around. Everyone was in that arena. Her legs felt like lead, but she walked forward anyway. The towels in her arms provided extra space between them as she started to walk right past him. “Excuse me,” she muttered.

He’s just trying to intimidate me. She repeated to herself.

“Round two is about to begin!” She heard announced from behind the door followed by a delighted cheer.

It was nothing.

Jack was just trying to scare her. She hadn't done anything wrong.

All she needed to do was walk by him confidently. Then she would watch Harry win life-changing money. She was home free. Leaning into the door, the metal bar squeaking as it released the hold on the frame to let her through to the main room.

But at the last second, the towels fell from her arm in a heap as he grabbed her arm and yanked her away from the door. “I don’t think so.”

Round two was starting.

Ding.

taglist: @justlemmeadoreyou @daydreamingofmatilda @sunshinemoonsposts @loving-hazz @likeapplejuicenpeach

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@fangirl7060

ding: @ell0ra-br3kk3r @vikiii07

I'm sorry if I missed anyone in the taglist. Please let me know if you'd like to join, if it didn't work, if you no longer want to be included, etc. :)

If you like this, check out my masterlist here

[cityofmeliora]

Cardi wishes he could've had a real father-son relationship with Nihil 😢

despite the obvious bullying / disrespect / hostility between them, Cardi accepts Nihil as his father much more easily than he accepts Sister Imperator as his mother.

after Cardi found out they're related, he actually started to acknowledge Nihil as his father. at concerts, he's referred to Nihil as "my dad", "my daddy", "my daddy-o", "my papa", "pops", "my old man", "my father", and "my old pop" dozens of times. but he's never once referred to Sister Imperator as his mother in any way. did you notice that? because i think about this a lot.

Cardi is bitter about Nihil having been an absent father.

PAPA EMERITUS IV: You know… my dad… not much of a dad. Bristow, Virginia, USA (August 24, 2023)

PAPA EMERITUS IV: That’s my old man. Or was. Pretty sucky father, but he still can blow. Syracuse, New York, USA (August 18, 2023)

but i don't think Cardi's bitterness about Nihil being an absent father is anger or hatred towards Nihil for failing to be a parent... i think it's a lamentation of the fact that they never even got a chance because they didn't find out they were father and son until Cardi was 51 years old and Nihil was already dead.

every time Cardi said Nihil was a bad father / an absent father, he always ended up saying "it's okay." or "he's okay." Cardi wants things to be okay. at the show in Sydney, in particular, Cardi genuinely sounds so sad and disappointed about their situation.

PAPA EMERITUS IV: My old dad. He wasn’t much of a father –he kind of sucked at that– but he sure as shit blows really good. Yeah, no, he– he’s fine, he’s fine, except for being dead. Auburn, Washington, USA (August 4, 2023)

PAPA EMERITUS IV: My old man… First, he was just a fart that I met. And then I got to know that he was my dad. Yeah. He's– he was okay. Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA (August 12, 2023)

PAPA EMERITUS IV: You see– I’m your Papa, but that’s my papa. He’s an okay papa. Or he was. He’s dead now, but we sort of drag him out for the good shows. Buenos Aires, Argentina (September 24, 2023)

PAPA EMERITUS IV: That’s my old man. Well… He never was much of a papa to me, but… it’s okay. Sydney, Australia (October 3, 2023)

i think Cardi, deep down, wants to forgive Nihil. he wishes they could've had a real father-son relationship. Cardi still longs for the parent he always wanted and needed but never had.

Cardi frequently talked about how Nihil used to be a singer / entertainer like Cardi is now, and Cardi said he thinks he must have gotten his talent from Nihil. as someone so proud of his own accomplishments, someone who's been shown multiple times to believe he's better than all the other Papas before him, it's strange for Cardi to say he got his talent from someone else. Cardi never said these kinds of things before he found out Nihil was his father, never even acknowledging the fact that he was allowed to become the frontman of Ghost because of Nihil's blessing. but he's saying these things now because he clearly wants to feel a connection to Nihil– to his father, even though he doesn't like to admit it.

PAPA EMERITUS IV: He was, once upon a time, a singer like I am. And he did a few tunes. I don’t know if you’ve heard them. They’re okay– they’re okay. Bristow, Virginia, USA (August 24, 2023)

PAPA EMERITUS IV: But you know, he used to sing, like I do! And he was an okay singer, actually. I must have got it from somewhere, I guess. Athens, Greece (June 25, 2023)

PAPA EMERITUS IV: You know, back in the day, he used to be a singer. I hate to say it, but I think I got it from him. Yeah. He was an okay singer. Auburn, Washington, USA (August 4, 2023)

PAPA EMERITUS IV: That was my– my old papa. He’s okay. He’s not that good. And I guess the apple doesn’t fall very far from the tree… So he’s okay. Mexico City, Mexico (September 18, 2023)

Nihil and Cardi never got along, but there was still hope that it wasn't too late for their relationship to develop. in RITE HERE RITE NOW, as Cardi struggled with confusion about his life and feelings of anxiety over his time as Papa ending, Nihil offered Cardi some "entertainer advice".

PAPA NIHIL: Son– You seem to think of your life as a zero-sum game. As if you living in a house means that nobody has ever lived in the same house before you. That nobody will ever live there after you. That even before there was a house there, nobody walked that ground it now stands upon. It's not pleasant to think about that, I know. You have to be more here. Right here. Right now. I have also lived a long life that I was precious about. Life is not always how you scripted it. I am almost 80 years old, and I'm dead. But I still am part of it. Making the people rock. Look, I always wanted to entertain people… and be a part of the night, be a part of the world of magic and wonder– showbiz. And I am. Even now that I am dead, I can still entertain those people for a brief moment every night. And that is meaningful. Do you think that is how I wanted it to pan out? PAPA EMERITUS IV: Thank you, dad. RITE HERE RITE NOW

while i think Nihil's advice is kinda terrible considering the context that Cardi was legitimately afraid his parents were going to murder him and put his body on display for his successor's fans (which was not an irrational fear, because they literally actually did do that to his older brothers), i do think Nihil was genuinely speaking from his heart, and it got through to Cardi. that was the first time they had ever addressed each other directly as "dad" / "son".

so it seemed like they were starting to make real progress in their relationship. unfortunately, they're right back to bullying / disrespecting / being hostile to each other in the post-credits scene, so who knows how much that moments of sincerity and vulnerability actually affected them. 🙄

but yeah. ugh. it fucking kills me the way Cardi so clearly wants to forgive Nihil and wishes he could've had a real father-son relationship with him. they cannot fucking stand each other. but i think they could have loved each other. in a better life.

[brothersfuck]

do you have any heavy dead dove wincest headcannons? 👀

I don't know if these are HEAVY dead dove but they are dead dove nonetheless (Here's a trigger warning out right: certain people won't like what I post, remember this is all fiction and I am not writing about real people, I'm writing about characters!! I do not support the things I post!! If you don't like it, do not interact! Thanks!)

John promises he'd play games with his sons but it's just him forcing Dean to hump Sam while he watches. Dean gets so hard he almost faints and Sam just has his ass high up in the air and face stuffed into a pillow because he doesn't wanna see John's gaze or the fact that his prick is also hard.

Dean forcefully intoxicates Sam on alcohol, heavy alcohol, because he thinks it's fun. It ends up with Dean cumming inside a very much unconscious and drunk buddy who looks like a baby with his pants around his legs and milk all over his stomach

John belittles seven year old Sam's dick because it's a little small for his age, but puts it in his mouth anyway and gets off to feeling Sam dry orgasm quick even though he's begging him not to "sucky" on it. Sam cries and sobs because John is so rough with it and it's not his fault it's so small

When Sam cums, sometimes he says "nonononoo..please stop please please please," because the only thing that can make him cum hard is thinking about Dean raping him again

When Sam got doses up in the ep. where they went to the psyche ward, the high forced Sam to crawl everywhere, Dean got off to this so much that he forced Sam onto the floor and railed him while calling him infantilizing nicknames. Gets off to him crying and trying to push him off!!..the staff thinks Sam is just having a fit again

The only reason Dean knows Sam cries during sex (the groundhog day episode) is because Dean conditioned him to after yeaaars and yearsss and non conning Sam:3

John teaches Sam how to kiss, but instead of just licking into his mouth like usual, John brings Sam's head down until his kiddie is at eye level with dadbulge because he wants him to "kiss something else for today"

Sam got raped by John and Dean SOOO much back then, sometimes if they feel drunk enough, they'll use him together

Sam bruised easily and once Dean found that out, he came so hard his vision almost turned white, so much red violent kisses on Sam's skin and Dean forbids him to wear sleeves or turtle necks or else he'll earn more

Sam got his abuse kink from John hitting him while he raped him, and sometimes Sam can't get off unless he pressed into a bruise or a cut

[svt-rosalie]

. . . ♡ MAMA ! ? 🐚 2023 ★ ﾟ๑

ׁ ׅ ୨ ❪ moments! ❫ ୧ ⊹ ࣪

© 2023 , svt-rosalie rosalie masterlist!

warnings! mentions of anxiety, mentions of a passed family member, woozi and rosie being the cutest couple korea knows, speeches, sucky writing

MAMA 2023 was the award show to see if you are a Rosalie stan! She was nominated in four categories and stole the night, as she should! Rosalie won in all four categories she was nominated in, including; Worldwide Fan Choice, Best Female Artist, Song Of The Year, and Best Music Video.

୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ ROSIE’S BEST MOMENTS !

— rosie is the biggest extrovert and loves talking to the other idols! It causes a big of mayhem for her members but who cares? not rosalie.

— you can see rosalie at some points sneaking over to le sserafim’s seating spot and talking to all of the girls and laughing loudly that you almost hear it in the background

— on the first day when they were late, rosalie kept trying not to laugh at the realization and got caught on the screen and got very embarrassed

— rosalie was dancing to almost every single song preformed especially bouncy by ateez, that’s her ass shaking song come on guys

— she started crying when woozi gave his speech for album of year and had to be consoled by seungcheol. and then cried even harder at wonwoo and seungkwan’s speech wishing only the best for the boys.

— there was multiple times woozi and rosie were caught on screen talking and holding hands during random parts of the award show

— the screams that came afterwards were oscar worthy! yunjin of le sserafim was definitely not one of those screams

— rosalie was able to perform breathe with woozi playing the piano.

— she preformed in a beautiful light blue gown, her sister’s favorite color

— every time rosie won an award the boys were hyping her up so hard and embarrassing her so hard, it was so cute though to see her laugh and playfully scold them

— when rosalie won song of the year, she had jihoon come up as well to give a speech with her

— WOOZI’S SPEECH: “Breathe is a song of comfort. It’s a song that’s suppose to let you know that it’s okay, and that someone cares. This song is for Rosalie, a girl who continues to put on a smile no matter the circumstances! Ever since we met, she never went a day without laughing and trying to make other people feel happy, regardless of how she was feeling. She deserved to know that it was okay to be upset and to need a second to breathe.

I hope people will continue to find comfort in this song and support Rosalie till the end.”

— she definitely didn’t cry when she got home that night remembering his words

୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ ROSIE WINS SONG OF THE YEAR!

Rosalie was in her own world at this point, the award show had been going on for what felt like hours which in her case you can’t blame her. It was just one of those days where she would rather be cuddled up to her animals reading a good romance book rather than sit here, waiting for a event to decide if she or her group we’re good enough for the title of “Album of the Year”. But she was grateful, 2022 and 2023 had been a tough year and she was happy she was even nominated for a category.

Always her worst critic.

Though it was finally time for the ‘Song of the Year’ category, one that she had been anticipating for a while . . . more like the whole award show. Rosalie was nervous and couldn’t help but clutch the person’s hand that was nexts to her, Jihoon.

Rosalie lets out a sigh of relief and her worries subside, for the mean time.

Then the (dreaded) words came from the announcers lips “Samsung Galaxy Song of the Year goes to….”

Rosalie didn’t know what she was stressing about. It was as if her brain couldn’t decide which thing to worry about the most; what if I don’t win, what if I do win and so forget my speech, what if I trip going up the stage, what if?

All of that seemed to fade away when the words “Breathe, Rosalie!”

Rosalie’s eyes widen comically and was captured on the big screen for all the other idols and fans to see (which they found adorable) she covered her mouth in surprise and walked up the stage never letting go of Woozi’s hand. This was just as much his award as it was hers. He wrote the song, he produced it, all Rosalie did was sing it.

Rosie made it center stage, right there for all eyes.

“Ahh, I don’t know what to say! I had a speech for incase I won but I didn’t think I would so i forgot it.” Rosie said pouting. Anyone could tell she was nervous, you didn’t need to be close to her to notice the shakiness in her hands as one held the golden MAMA award and the other holding onto Woozi like a lifeline.

Rosie took a deep breath in and out before continuing, “I never expected to get an award like this and I am so so thankful to CARATs and to everyone who stood by me and supported me and this song. This song is everything to me and I’m so glad it’s getting recognized for what it’s worth.”

Woozi stepped a bit closer to Rosie at this point and held her hand a bit tighter.

“There is one person I would like to thank from the bottom of my heart. . . my little sister who wished for this day with me. We would watch the award shows together when I had first debuted and she dreamed I would win an award like this for her one day.” Rosie looked up trying to avoid letting the tears roll down, and took another deep breath in . . . and out.

“She would say ‘Unnie! Please win a big award so I can brag to all my friends that I have the most popular older sister in the world!’ and at that time, I didn’t think it would be a reality. But here I am!”

The crowd screamed for her as she held up the award, Woozi letting out a chuckle beside her as she did.

“My little Sarang, My forever Valentine — I did it! Aren’t you proud of your most popular awesome sister?” She asked rhetorically looking up the roof of the building. Breathe, in . . . and out. “I’ll be sure to remember this day forever and make more music people can find comfort in it as I did. Thank you!”

taglist — @angie-x3 @alixnsuperstxr @allthings-fandoms

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[trashisstillhere]

You all know about New Ninja, now get ready for….

Newbie creep!

Aka New creep, aka Newbie…. Ya already get it.

This man was not easy to design, even with trying to look for some inspiration on Pinterest and stuff. But hey, he’s done now.

Now while he’s new at the job like New Ninja is with theirs, they’re not really like the ‘new messenger’ who’s going to replace the original creep. Oh nah, og creep is still the main one and still will always the main messenger. Newbie here is actually just more of a trainee, a trainee who’s a big LOSER-

Btw, this guy wasn’t actually my idea originally. I actually got The idea of this guy from @artistic-harlom-world !!! Thanks again for the idea for this loser dude!

I’m sure you’d all like to know a bit more about him, Welp. Here we go.

-like original Creep who was the one to give the mask and Nomicon to many chosen ninjas for many years until Randy, Newbie Creep is the one who gave the mask to New Ninja! Ya see, the mask New Ninja has is actually not the same as Randy’s! It’s a whole brand new mask that the og creep made just in case and Newbie just so happens to be the one picked to give it away along with the Nomicon!

And no, there isn’t a whole new Nomicon too. The ninja Nomicon is still the same exact book that we all know of and love, no worries! Nothing can replace this 800 year old book-

-Newbie’s origins, just like Creeps, is unknown. Tho he is also immortal like him, from the same place too. He even tries having the same fashion sense as him just cuz, though a bit of his clothes, as you can see here, has been ruined. How? Just some small ‘Accidents’, that’s all!

-speaking of small accidents, Newbie creep had them happen quite a lot, they’re the reason why he has those small scars almost all over him in the first place, especially on his fingers! He even tried bandaging himself a bit but it was barely done well. He also tried fixing up a bit of his clothes as you can obviously see with his pants, which just made it look so off compared to the rest of him. His hairs also kinda messy.

-as I already said, he’s a loser. No seriously he literally is. He’s like the complete opposite of the creep. That’s like, the entire point of his character almost. When he’s scared, like for example seeing someone be able to kick an entire wall down and destroyed it completely, he immediately faints right on the spot. If he’s about to be noticed, he quickly flees. With the way he looks right now, many people would probably be very suspicious of him, thinking he’s a man not to be trusted.

-while Randy is more patient and kind with New Ninja during their ninja duties, the creep is a little more stricter and can get a little more easily impatient with Newbie. He often criticises the guy, from his clothes to the way he does his job. (A bit ooc? Idfk) but even if having to deal with his kinda sucky trainee can be a pain in the ass, Creep does actually try to support Newbie! Believe it or not.

Here is Newbie creep with both the og creep and the kid! (May look pretty off since I mostly drew him in my style and plus I didn’t feel like cleaning up and do shading again.) yeah, he’s meant to be just a SLIGHTLY bit shorter then Creep, just a little…..oh and a quick doodle of him and his ‘boss’.

Get it? ‘Clown’-boy? Like cowboy but instead of cow, it’s clown cuz his pants look ridiculous and- okay I’ll stop, I apologise.

Also man, I gotta draw the creep more. I really do.

Anyway that’s it, hope y’all like him I guess!

[lunarcrown]

can we see all of your tattoos? :0

I FINALLY TOOK PICS!!!! I actually don’t have a TON of tattoos compared to my peers but I have a nice chunk! I’m just slow at getting tattooed bc I’m always working so I get like MAYBE two a year 😂

ANYWAYS!!! Ok so my legs: butterfly, demon goat girl, caterpillar, bill cipher (a SUPER OLD ONE), Minecraft block, and blue three eyed cat are all by me on me HAHA

I’ve made myself quit tattooing myself so I can get OTHER people’s art on me, but I wanted to tattoo my own shins just in case it was too terrible to continue with someone else (it’s not actually that bad!!!), and the other things like the Minecraft block were just so I could have complete control of it when it meant so much to me. The three eyed cat is actually my first “official” tattoo on skin I did as an apprentice! (Bill was a sneaky stick and poke I did in college OTL)

Creeper is from a friend/fellow tattoo artist who I trade tattoos with a bunch (but we still pay each other bc BILLS…), party dragon was from a dragon tattoo trade, worm on a string was from a friend who’s apprenticeship started same time as mine, pink axolotl is from my coworker who is sooooo freakin cool….i aspire to be like her so much…. And anime eyes heart gal is from a super cool friend that I went to college with! We reunited when I started tattooing and got a lot of laughs on how long it took to get our degrees and now we aren’t even “using” them HAHSG

Rest of the ones on my legs!!

Mob is from the same buddy that did the creeper and another one you’ll see in a sec, the kitties are from ANOTHER pal who started apprenticing same time as me! They’re actually arranged to be a subtle ⚢ sign bc IM A HOMOSEXUALLLLL~~ the symbol beneath these is the ol symbol from gravity falls that I ALSO stick and poked in college YEP…. Love Bug and the firefly are by a buddy from Virginia! One day I’m gonna get a “mean” version of love bug on my other thigh and it’s gonna say “bug off” 🤩 and the colorful leopard is from ANOTHER buddy trade that I did with a very cool friend!!

And finally MY ARMS!!!!

I have even less up here because getting arm tattoos makes it hard to work pfft….

I LOVE canti from OG FLCL (I love robots with sick designs so much…) and I love the show as well (introducing me to the Pillows was so PIVOTAL…) so I have him not once but TWICE form different ppl. The one with the flowers was from my mentor who turned out to be a sucky person so BOOO but I still love the tattoo~ the claptrap and OTHER canti are from a neat guy that I LOOOVE his style but his shop is sooo traditional and it’s lowkey uncomfortable even though he’s nice so idk if I’ll go back for a third. The Grievous is from the same buddy that did the creeper and mob!!! It’s so cool too bc my freckles make HIM have freckles and it’s adorable to me. And finally my VERY first tattoo I ever got, the big ufo abducting a pumpkin!!

This was done by Kelly McGrath in North Carolina and she was so sosososo sweet, gave me free prints, let me video call some of it to my family because we were VERY very far away from each other, AND I got to tell her years and years later that she inspired me so much that I became a tattoo artist myself!! And I even got to ask her a question or two and she responded so nice :,,)

SO YEAH I don’t have much rhyme or reason to my picks besides preferring color tattoos to be the majority, but my goal now is to collect tattoos from some very cool people and take my time filling up my body with art!! Eventually I would like to extend to my hands (palms included) and feet (JUST THE TOP I AM NOT DOING MY SOLES), neck, body, and maybe a few on my face near the outer perimeter/outer corner of eyes/above eyebrows! But that’ll probably be way off bc I work a LOT like I said at the beginning! Always the tattooer, never the tattooed HAHA

[dragonsdendoodles]

What do you think the children would watch on YouTube? What would their favorite youtubers and content be?

Oh god time to just scream my age on the internet

Also for the record if any of these people are problematic I don’t know about it or what happened my entire YouTube feed for the past six years has been Reddit stories and video essays I use for background noise when I draw so if I mention someone sucky I’m sorry I haven’t consumed their content since at least middle school

For starters, I think Emma, Millard, and Horace avoid it altogether out of principle. Emma and Horace because people are stupid and they cannot believe this is what modern entertainment is and Millard because he has ruined many videos by pointing out every inaccuracy he could find and he got sick of the cesspool of misinformation that is the internet.

Jacob has been watching Minecraft videos since the beginning of the damn site. Specifically he discovered iHasCupquake and DanTDM a couple years after joining the loop and now when he’s bored and in a time with internet access he watches Minecraft Oasis and DanTDM’s Custom Mod Adventures on repeat. Noor is the exact same way, but with life hack videos very obviously aimed at middle school girls that have stuff like painting staples with nail polish and sneaking candy into class via empty glue sticks. Think Wengie and SaraBeautyCorner. They actually grew up with this so it’s more about the nostalgia than anything else

Enoch likes history videos. And videos about games like War Thunder and World of Tanks. He also likes Vine compilations, discovered when Jacob and Noor were quoting vines to each other and Enoch joined with them having absolutely zero knowledge he even knew what that was. (Horace also begrudgingly knows what Vine was, but instead of saying “yeah I sure hope it does” to Enoch’s “road work ahead???” he goes “I hate you and everything you stand for” and Enoch laughs.)

Olive, Claire, and Bronwyn watch Gacha Life/Club/whatever the fuck they’re on now I don’t know anymore music videos and Vine compilations. Bronwyn is here for quality control. (Bronwyn’s favorite YouTube series is Rosanna Pansino’s Nerdy Nummies series, even though she has no idea what any of the references are. What she does know is that she showed Jacob the Angry Birds cupcakes and he demanded they be made that exact day.)

Hugh is fascinated by all this but has little to no idea what’s going on. He did however get very invested in Sanders Sides and is very impatiently waiting with me for Orange to be revealed.

Fiona also doesn’t know what’s going on but she thinks Warrior Cats AMVs and multi-animator projects are INSANE she loves them and gets very sad when Noor is helping her look them up and they find out yet another creator is problematic

[soviet-supersoldier]

Character Examination: Omega Red

Part 5: X-men (1991) #7

Well, this is the last part of the 4-part introductory arc to Omega Red in Marvel Comics. This story sets up quite a bit of Omega Red’s next 30-or so years of comic book appearances, so let's dive in!

First of all, this cover is rather brilliant. I know there's probably tons of covers out there with the split face look between rivals, but I think it's done well here. Arkady’s side of the picture is even slightly bigger than Logan’s, showing off a little of their size difference that isn't too obvious on a first glance. You also get another good look at the cybernetics on his face and head. You can see a few parts underneath his hair along with the more obvious ones lining his cheeks.

One has to wonder how comfortable that metal even feels for Arkady. The ones on his face go right to his lips. Do they make it a challenge to talk? Eat? Kiss? We've honestly never been told. But Arkady does find a way to make it work somehow, so one would suppose that he's figured out how to live with such horrific alterations to his body, no matter how painful. As it becomes very clear the more you read about Arkady, pain is just a part of this poor man's life. He has just had to learn with being in chronic pain.

So, this issue starts off with a sort of recap to bring oncoming readers up to speed on what is happening to Logan in this issue. The narrator's box on that page states that this whole ordeal has been going on for 24 hours. So, minus the 18-hour fight with Arkady, that gives us six hours for all the other events to have occurred following Wolverine's capture. That includes travel time and everything with the X-Men coming to the site and the hunt for Wolverine when he escapes.

Of course, the comic is being set up to focus on the struggle of the heroes (it is an X-men comic, not an Omega Red comic after all), but I wanted to take a moment to consider Arkady here. He was Logan’s opponent in that 18-hour fight. In addition, he had to fight and capture the X-men in another fight after that. How much rest has he gotten? My guess: none. Poor guy has probably been up for the past 24 hours straight at least. Has he eaten either? Maybe? Not sure when he would have really had much time to do so, given what Matsu'o and crew have been doing. Even during the little break we did see -- when everyone was cheering their successes with Omega Red -- Arkady wasn't offered a glass or invited into their cheer. Instead, he was the object of it, their prized tool that they were getting a use out of. It wouldn't surprise me if they didn't feed him, expecting him to use the X-men for sustenance instead. But, as we see here, Arkady never touched a one of them. More on that in a bit.

Instead, he's here with Logan, having a rather goofy exchange with him (along with a good backside shot that once again shows us how fit this man is):

So here, Arkady does clarify a little bit about the effect Carbonadium has on his body. Apparently, it is the only metal/substance in existence that can negate his death factor abilities. Makes some sense, given what the metal does to healing factors. However, given the drawbacks of Carbonadium, that really, really sucks for him. The only cure from having to kill constantly to stop having his powers from attacking him was to have an even more dangerous and toxic metal put into his body. If the process been completed as planned 30 years ago, he might have gotten some relief (in a way), and the C-Synthesizer would have prevented the Carbonadium from poisoning him. Without it though, he's being double-whammied by both his powers and the poisoning. Really, really sucky deal for him. Especially after the conclusion of this issue.

Speaking of the process Arkady went under 30 years ago, the next page gives us a flashback to the procedure Arkady was put under that day during the Team X raid. We have never seen these events from his perspective, but honestly, I would like to see it. This was probably already one of the most brutal and painful days of his life before Team X crashed the party. He had been stripped and thrown into a tank to have who knows what done to him. To this day, we don't know what exactly was being done to him here. Sabretooth seems to be getting a kick out of Arkady's misery though, but then, he's always had that sort of attitude about other people. Wouldn't surprise me at all if Victor busted into this place shouting, "Happy Birthday!!" As we've seen with Logan, Victor does have a weird thing about birthdays and how they should be celebrated. Was probably the same case here, too. Logan and Arkady should talk about it over a drink sometime.

The flashback continues as the doctors try to pry the information out of Logan’s brain on the whereabouts of the C-Synthesizer. Sabretooth drops the super convenient dialogue of "setting back the Soviet Supersoldier program by some 30 years," so either Sabretooth either has a magic ball that tells him the future, or this guy's really good at estimating things. You'll find a lot of exposition-style dialogue still in this era, and that line definitely fits the bill. There are a few others in this issue as well:

Like Psylocke's dialogue here. She explains to the villains as she strikes exactly what she's doing and how. Her actions here have all been part of an elaborate ruse cooked up behind the scenes that will eventually allow this whole story arc to be tied up into a neat little bow by the end. Will any of it make sense upon closer scrutiny? No, but the heroes have to win somehow, even if the explanation is wonky.

So, Psylocke cuts Arkady across the face here, which hurts him for about two seconds until he heals from the strike. He gets a little expositiony here with his dialogue, but it sort of is his nature to be a little verbose with that (as I've talked about in previous entries on this project), so it makes sense for him to brag a little about his abilities in comparison to Psylocke's. Which brings me to this story's biggest plot hole/fault:

Here, it is revealed that off-screen, Arkady has been draining Psylocke of her energy and vitality to keep himself alive. Only that it was all an illusion that Psylocke projected into his brain, making him believe that. One major problem, though: how was this not noticed through Arkady’s physical symptoms that still would be happening? Arkady needs to drain life energy to keep himself alive. That is a fact. If he doesn't, he will start to deteriorate and then die. Even if he believed he was getting what he needed to live, his condition would still get worse. It would have been like believing you can walk when both of your legs are completely broken. You just can't do it. No matter how much your brain believed it. There would be a point where his body would have started to show physical symptoms because his needs weren't actually being fulfilled. It would have been picked up by one of the medical examinations they would have been doing with him. Arkady himself would not feel well. His body's needs would have overridden whatever delusion Psylocke was trying to project into Arkady’s brain. And given that they have been far apart at numerous points here, I just don't see how Psylocke would have been able to pull this off.

It's just a super convenient ace pulled out of her sleeve to assure the hero's victory and is supposed to make Psylocke look like a badass. But given that this comes completely out of nowhere with no build-up or teases for it, it rubs me wrong. Perhaps I would feel different if we actually saw Omega Red using his powers on anyone here after they were captured and saw Psylocke volunteer to be his lunch, but we saw none of that. Arkady never used his powers on any of the X-men after they were captured. So this whole moment loses any weight it could have because of the lack of previous set-up.

The only other thing I want to note on this page is Arkady’s dialogue here at the bottom of the page. Where he says: "It has been nearly 30 years since I have tasted the blood of a woman, I'm going to enjoy this." I have to wonder what Arkady’s scale of time measurement is here. Is he counting the 30 years he was frozen, and therefore, this is something he was doing before he was locked away? Or is he not counting that time and that blood-tasting occured even further in the past? Based on what age we now know Arkady to be (whereabouts), we can guess he's counting the years he was frozen in his math. One does have to wonder what that experience of being frozen and brought back was for him. We never get to see how he adjusted to the time jump. This line here also suggests Arkady’s cannibalistic behavior, which we do see mentioned a few times after this. It also suggests he hurt some women in the past. Under what circumstances... we don't know. Given his use as a government weapon, it was probably on a kill mission they sent him on. But we don't know the context, and I'm not sure we ever will unless Arkady is actually given an Origins book. He is a character that would greatly benefit from one. I, for one, would read it. His mysterious past is such an intriguing thing to think about. There's still so much about him and his experiences that we don't know about that would be neat to get more context on.

Back to the issue, the fight continues on as the X-men, meanwhile, are freed by Maverick and Sabretooth off in another part of this base. Here, we can tell Arkady is getting rather snippish, and he is very short with the Strucker twins here, really shedding a light on how he probably feels about the Nazi twins he was stuck having to deal with:

Arkady is now more in survival mode, more aware now of the delicate position he's in. He's not going to pretend to be polite anymore. Without the C-Synthesizer, he won't survive without having to kill constantly, and he is weaker now than he was when he first started out in this story arc. Again, going back to the beginning of this write-up, Arkady hasn't gotten any rest from all these fights. This is his third fight in 24 hours, and the first one lasted for 18 of those hours. He's probably getting tired. He's had no rest, no food, and now, no life energy that he's been getting from anyone. He probably can't go on much longer, and given that she was inside his head, Psylocke probably knows this.

The fight continues, and we soon see Logan too join in on the action:

So, here, Arkady seems to say that the encounter he and Logan had 30 years ago was the only one they ever had, which makes some of the previous dialogue in other issues seem strange in hindsight. But they're still ironing things out here, and later additions, retcons, and the like gets a lot of things changed around. This is still Omega Red’s first appearance, and there's not much we're getting on personal details. Again, an Origins book would do so much to clear things up.

Arkady also once again reiterates his hatred for Sabretooth, putting both Victor and Logan in the same grouping of people he wishes were dead, which makes sense given how Team X ruined his life. In a way, I do believe they were trying to set Omega Red up here as the new sort of "big bad" to replace Sabretooth and give both Logan and Victor a common enemy to fight against and allow future teammups between them both. Given the edgyness of the 90s and their push for more morally complicated characters like Punisher and the like, it makes sense that they would try to set things up to try to slide Victor out of the #1 "Enemy of Logan" spot to try to give it to someone else. This is just the first of several such attempts with various foes of Logan, but none of them ever stick. Omega Red himself doesn't have a strong enough personal hook to go after Logan in the same way Victor has done over the years, and you will see over time how the end of this arc here sets up a decades-long struggle to give Arkady some real purpose and drive to his stories in a way that doesn't get tiresome to read.

So, eventually all the X-men break free and arrive in spectacular fashion to rescue Wolverine and Psylocke. Arkady is positively getting swarmed now, and has to face an entire team of X-men who have probably gotten a lot more rest than he has:

So, here we again see Arkady’s sharp memory on display. He probably only heard Rogue's name once, and yet he remembers it right away. You can also tell he's really getting annoyed by the unfairness of this fight, being the only one who has to fight all of these X-men. This man is fighting for his very survival, and yet he's getting ganged up and beat on without any help.

Rogue drags him over to his "fan club" as she puts it and her dialogue describing Arkady’s powers makes me think of a skunk for some reason. Rogue has probably dealt with her fair share of skunks, so it makes sense that she would make some form of comparison to that. Although, she would be the only character to ever do so, if she was indeed thinking of skunks here.

Continuing with Rogue here a bit, I've re-read this issue a lot recently in preparation for this write-up, and one thing recently struck me about her dialogue here on this page. She begins: "Now that we're all in agreement, if you'll hold that pose long--" before the scene spontaneously combusts (have to end the issue somehow, there's not many pages left and the writers decided to waste time on Mojo and his garbage story).

Was Rogue going to attempt to steal Arkady’s powers here? How differently could things have gone here if she had? What would she have learned? Did Arkady’s life have to take the direction it did at the end of this issue? One does have to wonder. If the X-men got ahold of him and just decided to cure him here and now, would Arkady have just faded into obscurity? Lots of questions, little answers, although given Arkady’s status as a villain and plans at the time, that sort of outcome would have probably never been allowed to happen. However, I can look back on this story now and wonder, "What if?" with regards to what happened here.

So, with the base spontaneously combusting because of conveniently stored explosive chemicals, everyone has to retreat, the X-men going one way, and Arkady going another. And this seals Arkady’s fate for the next 30 or so years of comics. As the end of this comic has Logan and Maverick retrieve the C-Synthesizer, here begins the decades-long game of keep-away that Logan and friends do with Arkady’s much-needed life-saving device. I plan to go into more detail about the X-men's decision to leave Arkady in this state where he has to kill constantly to keep himself alive in a later entry in this series, but here, the whole chase is set up. Here, the X-men begin their action to keep life-saving medical treatment away from a man who was experimented on against his will to serve his country and then locked away with a chronic health condition. Arkady could almost be used as an example of the experience a lot of military veterans experience when seeking medical care for injuries and conditions sustained in service. But Marvel hasn't done much to explore that idea under a real critical lens that focuses on the story from Arkady’s point of view. Perhaps they will someday.

So, this concludes Arkady’s first story arc in Marvel Comics. He is still in the service of Matsu'o here at the end of this, but this is the last we see of him being involved with the Fenris Twins. Good riddance to them. No one likes Nazis. Especially not the Soviets. And in the next story arc, we will get to see Arkady say "Good riddance," to Matsu'o too.

[vani-is-typing]

so i lowkey gave up on the agggtm adaptation after finishing episode 3 of the series. i was at the very middle of the show, and so disappointed by all the unnecessary changes they'd made from the books, and the snowball pacing was doing nothing to engage me whatsoever, in fact it was one more reason that i turned away from it. the only thing redeeming i think i found was the dynamics of pip's friend group. it was fun whenever they were all on screen together.

i heard someone online talk about pip and ravi's chemistry together being another redeeming point, and i thought about adding that as well, but looking back it was only okay, nothing out of the world. the fact that they were spending a lot of time alone together probably helped this person believe that their chemistry was excellent, when it was only fine. the actors tried their best, of course, but they are also very young and i personally think they were having a hard time conveying the kind of under the surface tension i would've loved to see.

lastly, i also heard someone online say that stanley forbes just never showed up. that was probably the most crushing thing i heard in the time after episode 3 and about to go on to episode 4, eventually stopping me from continuing because stanley is my man yo. you can't do me like this. you can't literally handpick one of the most memorable and important characters from the books and just kick them to them to the curb. even if stanley does end up hopefully inevitably in season 2, which i don't know yet if there will be one, it seems very sucky to me that he wasn't there at all this season, when the show is just taking off.

now although i have more to say from the first three episodes i saw of a good girl's guide to murder, i will refrain from doing that because incorporating all those things into this post will take a lot of time and make it so much longer. also, i'm waiting on the premiere of the umbrella academy season 4, if that wasn't already crystal clear enough from my last post, and will be pouncing on it the moment it's available, so i can't scar this beautiful waiting time by writing down and explaining the flaws of a show i didn't like, in length.

that'll be all. i do think i will complete watching a good girl's guide to murder someday, most probably if there's a season two later on, because then i'll need to know the show's altered version of what happened before. if there never comes a season 2 after all, then it's really in the hands of fate if i finish agggtm or not.

i will probably end up doing it though, like five years down the line. i can't handle unfinished shows, or anything else. see y'all.

[goatsandgangsters]

okay so today was Some Fuck and I'll give you the abridged version of the emotions bc those got resolved but I'm still ticked at my stepdad's mom for being out of pocket and I wanna bitch about that

so THE FEELINGS PROBLEM (short-ish version) is that my mom has an aggressive neurological disease that suddenly reduced her mobility and speech by A Lot earlier this year and it is going to continue getting worse and she's in a lot of pain, so this visit has been A Lot emotionally and also just logistically bc she has a lot of caregiving needs and the whole thing is simply a sucky reality for all

the cast here is me, my parents (amicably divorced), my stepdad (married to my mom), and his mother

anyway, holidays, magnifying glass on those kinds of emotions, etc. we sit down for brunch, I am hit with The Wave of Emotions That I've Been Having No Time To Deal With All Week, and I scurry away for a sob

and unfortunately my family's response to Someone Getting Upset And Crying has always been to politely ignore it and give them space, which was NOT what I needed today and it made me more upset to be crying by myself on christmas while everyone was having brunch that I made without me

anyway, my stepdad finally came to talk to me and that helped, I felt better, we had brunch. but afterwards to Acknowledge And Resolve The Emotions, I expressed to my parents that this Felt Very Shitty, they apologized and said they thought they were doing the right thing by giving me space, there was crying but not any arguing, it all could've been manageable

except my stepdad's mom, FOR SOME FUCKIN REASON, decides to chime in. even though I am talking to MY PARENTS because I never... had any expectation.... that she would talk to me about my feelings??

and she goes "well I didn't even notice you were upset" (okay thanks) "I just thought you were worried about your friend" [aka my partner who has covid]

and I am already crying and also wasn't talking to her in the first place, so I snap "you mean my partner who I've been in a relationship with for 10 years!"

she immediately throws up her hands and shouts to my stepdad in the other room "come take me home! I don't need all this drama!"

kudos to my stepdad for completely ignoring her and sitting down

kinda fucking pissed that she's chalking me being upset about my mom's terminal illness to "drama" but whatever. she sat there tippy tapping on her phone the whole rest of the time while my mom and I were tearfully talking out The Difficulties of The Situation

AND! When she first arrived! I was scurrying around doing Tasks for my mom and I had to smuggle some unwrapped gifts past people, so I just shove it under my shirt and go "nothing to see here!"

several minutes later, she thinks of the quip she wants to make and calls out to me "you look like you've gained weight!" and I'm like............ okay. because it's been several minutes and also moments ago she was talking about how our dog gained weight so I thought she was just, y'know, on an observational kick or whatever. my stepdad, grimacing, clarifies "as opposed to things hidden under your shirt" and I'm like ah

and then I guess bc the joke didn't land the first time, when I'm continuing to run around doing Tasks, she goes "you're going to lose 10 lbs doing that!" so necessary.

anyway. her little quips were not like, the bulk of my Emotional Shit today, they were just unfortunate little cherries on top and also the most bitch-about-able.

also that was like... genuinely the extent of what she said Directly to me today so like, thanks merry christmas. at least I don't see her much when I'm visiting and fortunately won't again this trip

the Big Emotions with my parents I had the chance to talk out and resolve, I got to talk to all three of them one-on-one today, they understood and acknowledged my feelings and that it's been very difficult on everyone and that they were sorry for giving me space instead of checking in on me, IT WAS A SUCKY FIRST PART OF THE DAY BUT IT GOT RESOLVED

but. man. tf was my stepdad's mom on about.

[posallys]

ok 1 ur desktop theme is GORG and 2 i need (if u wanna) ur thoughts about the show (or show sally in gen bc ur the only one i trust with her)

thank you!! i was actually thinking about updating it but maybe i wont 🤭🤭 and i have a lot of thoughts about the show except none only very few of them are good and i will be crucified by the 13-year-olds

im going to tell you anyway.

i will start with something i like....percy being angry. like yes give me the anger of a 12 year old who feels utterly alone in the world and doesn't understand (or does and it makes him more angry)

the fight scenes are dog shit. the only kind of cool one was in the arch but it was only cool because of percy doing the bait and switch and falling through the arch...the fights are bland boring sucky whatever other synonym you wanna use

uhhhhh sally jackson is not and would never be sitting in the rain pining of the god she told to leave....and especially not to teen pop...if she WERE going to act like a 16 year old and do the pining thing it would be to fucking like...billy joel and ricky martin and donny hathaway and stuff llike that okay...

i will preface this by saying that yes i understand that talking back to an abuser the way sally does in ep 1 doesn't make the abuse less abusive....however i DO not like the fact that that scene explicitly goes against sally characterization in the books....i am not digging my book out atm but the part where percy is like "my mother has never raised her voice or said an unkind word to anyone"....me thinks the writers all read the books 10 years ago and are going off of memory alone + or their brains are so clouded by the obsessive Big Screen Need to make women a badass girlboss slay queen i fucking hate it here

LET ANNABETH BE SILLY AND FUNNY AND CUTE AND CRY AND NOT BE AN ADULT THANK YOU....hated that they made annabeth the one to realize that it was medusa and not grover...give me back grover having to wrangle percy and annabeth into backpack leashes just to keep them on task/stop them from wandering off...book trio i miss you

i absolutely ADORE leah, walker, and aryan though the three of them are so so perfect, A+ casting no notes couldn't have done it better myself. if it weren't for the three of them i would have zero hope for the show i cannot lie...they're carrying. without them it's just..bad.

the pacing???? bad.

why did we waste half of the 4th ep on the train with echidna...stupid dumb pointless i hate it here

i do like the whole not all monsters are monsters and the gods aren't inherently good just because they're gods thing they've got going on though...very inch resting...silently hoping that they do a complete 180 and have percy side with luke and redo the series from there because that would be iconic as fuck <3 a girl can dream because at least then i could take the show at face value and not take 80 health damage every time they mess up a key part of the books...im at -29834 heath rn.

where was the time at chb before the quest??? the oh so important vital scene where luke teaches percy to sword fight???? like BRO that's soooooooooooo important to ME how could you get rid of that

not having annabeth show percy around camp

additionally, not having annabeth feed him the nectar and ambrosia, WHICH BY THE WAY they haven't even mentioned in the show yet...plot armor gone rip

not the fredrick chase sympathy while simultaniously blaming the woman...........rick when i get my hands on you...

annabeth having to EARN thalia's love??? absolutely not probably one of their biggest fuck ups fr.

the scene where sally is talking about Poseidon to percy...i do not like it sam i am. bad. not wistful enough not longing enough not sad enough not gut wrenching enough...also not completely here for sally telling percy that his dad was a god because....sallys whole thing was NOT telling him in order to keep him safe...i know they changed it in the show so sally knew he was going to camp immediately but that does not mean i have to like it

the scene with sally and percy in the pool. i hated everything about that. sally would never talk to percy like that never talk to him about money never make it seem embarassing NOT TO MENTION that percy simply wasn't scared of the water. that's stupid as fuck. theres a part in the book where percy literally says being by the water calms both him and his mom like...come the fuck on just admit you can't fucking read or at least didn't read the book.

sally annabeth get behind me so they cant hurt you anymore

i did loveeeee percy praying to sally though...absoutely insane and true of them. also the "I AM SALLY JACKSON'S SON" yesss baby you tell them about your mommy!!!!!!

them making athena moa level bad in tlt is quite interesting. setting up annabeth siding with percy pretty well.

also the whole impertinence thing over medusa's head was weird to me. when annabeth first said that i had immediately thought that annabeth's impertinence was telling percy to pray to poseidon IN ATHENA'S TEMPLE bc that made much more sense to me...but whatever

the annabeth/medusa parallel is intriguing at the very least

the underwater scene with the neraid was cool even though i hated the parallel to the pool scene w/ sally.

the dumbass pinecone fate line. 0/10 did you read the book? did you pay attention to how empathetic and reflective percy was when he found out about thalia?

honestly....i think disney was just the wrong place to go with this show because it's like what...pg? it should be pg 13 and should have more... sustenance.

this medusa was so cool though. which we could've seen a fight.

i need to know how many women are in the writer's room though...because It Does Not Look Good. funny how the characters that they're fucking up are all women....crazy. weird. totally coincidental.

are we just not going to talk about the vitality and pressure of getting the bolt back on time? where is the inherent inevitable danger, the suspense, the fear of not accomplishing a seemingly impossible talk looming over everything

this is 10000% not all of my thoughts but im not going to rewatch in order to collect them all so this is what you get xoxox

[wearequeer-andwearehere]

hii there! :)

can i b a trans guy without medically transitioning? i cant for a good many years, but also,,, i dont want to (i have several adjacent health issues that would make it difficult, also i’m neutral abt my body - i dont really have dysphoria over it and it doesn’t bother me). but i’m terrified that i’ll never be taken seriously. i don’t mind being misgendered by strangers or acquaintances (i’d actually describe myself as genderqueer if i technically had to, it’s not the label i identify with but it makes the most sense like objectively. i’m happy w/ he/him but ok with they, she, etc), but i would like it if my friends would see me as a guy. but i’m also scared to even like, ask that of them. bc i really really don’t look like a guy, or even slightly androgynous, and i kind of have this sucky internal mindset that i won’t be seen as a real guy unless i make an effort to look like one, even though that’s not what i want. i’m working on it, but it’s also… my romantic life plays a big role in it. i’m currently identifying to a lesbian to my friends bc i like girls. and it’s just girls that i like. so if I live true to myself and do say that i’m a guy, I’m also like… who would want to date me, because i’m a guy who uses he/him pronouns and ‘male’ terminology like boyfriend, but physically, i have a lot of ‘girl’ features, like big boobs, and i don’t want bottom surgery either (neutral abt my body), so i just really don’t know. it’s really hurting me bc when i realised I was queer i thought I’d find a home in the queer community and i did, for the first time ever, but as I’ve thought about my identity a bit more all my queerness causes me is stress bc I’m constantly worried that no one not even other queer people will ever take me seriously or allow me to use the labels I use or will ever want to date me (bc… like, I’m not straight, but also how can I call myself a lesbian if I consider myself a guy? It’s all complicated, to me, but I feel like I’ll be ostracised from lesbians for not being enough of a girl — even though my gender is complicated and trans guy is just the best way to explain it and the best label that fits for me — and ostracised from trans people for not being trans enough and ahhhh I’m just. Really stressed about it all, and am constantly wishing I could just be true to myself, even within the queer community, but don’t know how to…

Hey, listen to me. You have a place in the queer community, okay? If you say you’re queer, you’re queer and we love and accept you.

Yes, you can ABSOLUTELY be a trans guy without medically transitioning! I understand with health issues it can be difficult for some people. However, you do NOT need to justify your choice to me, or to anybody, okay? If you don’t want to medically transition, then don’t medically transition! That’s the end of it. Being trans is about just being Not Cis. Transitioning medically is part of it for some people, but maybe it’s not for you, and that’s okay! You can still be trans.

A lot of queer AFAB people who start to realise they might be more masc aligned start feeling guilty, wondering if they’re predatory. I also experienced this. I used to identify as a bisexual girl, then nonbinary, then I started realising I felt more like a guy. I was terrified. I didn’t want to be a creepy straight guy, I didn’t want to make the women around me or women I was attracted to feel unsafe.

Eventually I realised, it’s not BEING MALE that makes you creepy, it’s being a CREEPY guy. It’s a mindset that’s a bit hard to put into words. Being male and being attracted to women is not inherently creepy. It’s only creepy if you’re weird about it, and it’s very easy not to be.

Some lesbians might ostracise you, that’s true. However, the vast majority of the lesbian community has a long history of transmasc and trans guy lesbians. The queer community is about love and support no matter your identity. You are loved.

Seeing someone as a certain gender because of their body parts is something people can get over. I might look feminine, but I know my friends and partner see me as a guy because that’s who I am to them, a friend, a brother, a boyfriend.

If your friends can’t see you as a guy because of something as unimportant as your body, then that’s on them.

“Who would want to date me” there’s people who would, trust me. Look, when you have low self esteem, especially if you’re trans and your self hatred is related to that, it’s hard to believe you’re loveable, but believe me, you are.

I still struggle with dysphoria and wonder why anyone would love me when I’m a guy but I feel like I don’t look like one, but my partner always assures me I’m loveable, and you deserve that too.

Trans people can find loving, caring partners who love you not inspite of your transness but because it’s part of who you are and they love YOU.

Kid, be yourself. You’re welcome in the queer community. Be true to yourself, be who you are, and you’ll find the right friends and the right partner.

I hope you have a good day/night, and I’m sending so so much love. May a ray of sunlight shine upon you sometime soon, my friend. Sending warmth <33

[i-sveikata]

Hey!

I’ve been reading your fic for a year now—I used to comment as Jackdaw but recently changed my nickname. It always brings me so much joy to see a notification for a new chapter. I can’t even express how happy it makes me! I really admire your work. I wanted to ask you two questions; how do you stay on track writing this fic for such a long time? And do you have any advice for a starting author? Stay blessed and merry Christmas, Jackdaw/Sarina

Oh hello! God it’s so crazy that I’ve been writing it for that long but thank you so much!

That’s a really good question! I’d say it’s honestly a few things but the main fact is I’m interested in the pairing and how they might possibly fall in love after such a messed up start and that’s kind of been the driving force of the fic. So even though I’m posting chapter by chap I’m also writing future scenes past the current chap which kind of always leaves me with somewhere interesting to write in the story? Like say if I’m doing plot heavy stuff and I’m not feeling very invested or have the energy I’ll instead move down the doc and write a tension filled scene that captures my attention and keeps me engaged even if it’s happening way in the future. It’s very easy to write when you have so many scenarios on the brain at least for me.

But keeping it up means having to write character or fact notes at the beginning of the fic so I don’t forget them and even writing plot points of things that need to happen at the beginning of every chap before I continue writing it. When I feel like I might be losing the thread of the story I just go back and read what has already been posted (and what stuff I might have forgotten about lol terrible memory here) and that will help keep me on track.But yeah it’s also very very important to take breaks.

This has been a huge undertaking and if I hadn’t allowed myself the time to rest when necessary I might not have felt inspired to keep going tbh so that has been a pretty crucial part to it. The interactions with the readers make it especially fun but I’m also very very careful not to get too reliant on the response/ comments because whilst great and encouraging and really makes it feel worth it- that’s not enough to keep me motivated. Every time I’m writing a story it’s for me and how everyone receives it is just a fun bonus at the end and that makes it very easy to focus on the journey/ joy of it rather than the end result (ie how quickly people get to read the chaps, many people engage with it and like it and comment and how many kudos it gets etc)

For a starting author my best advice would be to sit down and consider what you like to read first and foremost because I truly believe if you’re not being engaged by your own story it’s so much harder to even get the thing finished and you might not love the end result in the same way as you would if you were following what appeals to you about a story first. If you’re unsure of what you like in a story then you need to get reading!!! And start reading as much as you can from a range of different genres. It’s so so important to read if you want to be an author because the more you do the more obvious it becomes to you what can really work for a story and what doesn’t. Then it’s just about finding or creating a story that really speaks to you.

It’s like working a muscle honestly and you’re not going to build that muscle or finish the work out if you get bored in between it- the whole process needs to be fun for you not a chore!! My second bit of advice will be just to write as fearlessly as you can. You won’t learn how to be a writer or how to get better at it if you don’t first put something out into the universe (and that doesn’t even necessarily mean you have to share your first story if you don’t want I just mean you need to create it first). And you won’t do that if you’re too focused on making it perfect and trying not to fail. But you have to fail to write! You have to write cringy sucky stuff until you find you’re own groove and begin to develop your own skills and preferences in a story but if you’re too bogged down in the ‘making it perfect’ element you won’t write anything at all! So my second piece of advice is truly don’t be afraid to suck. Just finish your story and then wait for the next lot of brainworms to inspire you for another and then keep going!! Write write write!!