#even though her and peony's situation WAS life or death. she still sees what she had to do as

[moe-broey]

I was maybe halfway into this when I realized this could have been an edit but. Can anyone hear me

[springbreezes-and-peonies]

Peony, has Taranza ever told you about Sectonia?

(IMPORTANT INFO: I consider most answers/asks in her ask box to be from a time after most of her main story that I’m working on is finished. So she’s sort of answering these from “the future” or at least from a point way later in my writing. It’s also important to note that in my writing I make Taranza king of Floralia as personal headcanon. With that in mind here you go! And anyone interested in her story, the first chapter is pinned to my page as it’s her character intro but I’ll probably change this pinning once I’ve written the next chapter to be a link to all chapters in order)

“Ah…yes of course. I can still remember when he did too. The day we met, I asked him about her, as I’d never met her but I knew of her from what my plants would tell me about her. I knew about how beautiful and beloved she was, especially by him, and I knew about her tragic change, but I didn’t really KNOW her. Not like that. And I knew her even less than most of our people having grown up in isolation. I asked him about her out of curiosity and wanting to know what she was like from someone who knew her very well, after all he’d been her best friend and husband.

Immediately he asked me not to talk about her if I could, as it was ‘too painful to speak about.’ I didn’t want to pry, and I’m not one to press people, so I simply nodded and agreed not to. In hindsight, and with more social experience now, I think I may have been a little impolite asking such a heavy question to someone I KNEW was her widower but at the time I really didn’t know any better…

Later that night, while he was keeping dry in my home from a storm HE asked ME if he could talk about her. I told him certainly, that I’d love to hear, now I think he must have been thinking about her all day ever since I begged the question…Well, once I told him I’d love to hear…he…Oh…He just broke down into tears. I still remember that sad face, and the noise that came from him. I’ve scarcely heard such a pained sound. He started telling me about her, how he loved her, how everything was his fault, how he missed her so much still, just…every thought he’d ever had about her came spilling out…

I just…felt such an urge to hold him, like it were a natural thing, and despite never being around people it just felt like what you should do seeing such a thing…So, I did. I hugged him and squeezed him tight and let him cry. And he did. And for awhile to. I honestly wonder if he ever really had before since her death…If something about me being someone so entirely different and removed from the situation allowed him to let it out as he needed. Of this I am not sure, and again, in hindsight I guess it could’ve been rude to just hug someone you’d never known like that, but I suppose if I’d had those ‘social graces’ about myself that other Floralians have, he may not have gotten what he needed in that moment—a shoulder to cry on.

He told me he felt much better after the fact, and I truly think he did. And we still talk about her whenever he needs to. She was such a big part of his life, it would be remiss of me to not give him a safe space to talk about her, and how the memory of her occasionally makes him feel—good or bad. I am happy for his part in her life, though I am sad for how it ended up piercing his heart. It was an important love for him, and I can tell it definitely shaped who he is today. And who he is, is wonderful to me. Gentle, sweet, compassionate, kind, affectionate, if a little stuffy. And I appreciate it all.

Anyway, sorry if that was long winded. This is a topic I think of often, as it is undeniably a part of our relationship. Thank you for your question, I wish you a good day! ✨🌸🌷”

[juliet-caramelmacchiato]

HOUSE OF CARDS

PAIRING: Kim Namjoon / fem oc

GENRE: mystery/fantasy/investigation

SUMMARY: Who destroyed the garden of the King of clubs?

Who caused the death of the Queen of spades?

Who broke the fragile order of the world, putting at risk the life of not one, but two sovereigns?

In a situation were anyone could be involved, the only one able to judge is too blinded by his own grief to be rational. The last remaining solution, then, seems to look for help from the outside. From someone who could determine once and for all the real culprit.

WORD COUNT: 2.OK

****************************************************

CHAPTER 3

-Hyung?

The human looked at the silhouette of the back of the man who was facing a sea of cinder that reached the horizon in a never ending expanse, as a hint of bitterness took possession of her heart. She wondered how magnificent that garden must have once been. If it was a chaotic ensemble of different flowers that meddled and clashed in a joyous cacophony of colours or if instead it was divided in methodical sections based on species and variety.

The crownless king didn't answer. The King of diamonds then, swallowing a grimace, slowly stepped forward, inviting her to follow him while the rest of the company stayed at the threshold of the French window to silently observe the scene. When the two reached the silver bench on which the man was sitting, the woman finally had the opportunity to catch a glimpse of his lineaments. The sight, however, made the bitterness in her heart even more burning. The elegant profile of the masculine face with plump lips and a subtle nose, fair skin and full cheeks, was disfigured by a large cinereous blemish resembling charred wood and crossed by deep fissures that nearly reached the healthy skin. The entirety of the right cheek of the sovereign up until the corner of the eye was contaminated by the gash, that ran down the long neck and dipped under the double breasted jacket with floral patterns.

-Seokjin-hyung, can I introduce you to someone?- asked the King of diamonds with the most delicate tone that the woman had ever heard from him. The man, in the end, seemed to snap out of the trance in which he was immersed and slowly turned towards them.

-Yoongi?

Lost eyes gazed at the young man standing as if he was a ghost, as if they could see through his figure and could project their vision beyond, far away from that desolated place. The King of diamonds, at that, sat next to the sovereign, inviting the woman to do the same.

-Hi hyung. How are you today?

The man with lost eyes had placed his gaze back on the ashy field, staring insistently as if looking for something that wasn't there.

-Yoongi... what happened to my garden?

An embarrassed silence diffused in the air, while the golden king tightened his lips like he was restraining himself.

-Hyung, do you remember what happened?- he asked instead, with a calm and condescending tone in his hoarse voice. The silver king furrowed his brows slightly.

-I remember... that I was pruning the peonies. I was late, but if I hurried I could fix them before they could wither.

Yoongi, gulping, seemed to hold a sigh as his eyes lowered to the ground littered with ash. Then, turning to the human, he schooled his face in a neutral expression.

-Is there something that you wish to know?

The woman placed her gaze on the outline of the crownless man, who kept on staring at the ghost of his precious creature as if he still couldn't see what had become of it. When she brought her eyes back on the golden king, then, she shook her head. That poor man had suffered enough. She didn't want to add pain to his already fragile psyche by digging into memories that he had obviously removed in order to protect himself.

When they reached the rest of the attendants at the french window, though, the young woman was still empty-handed.

-He doesn't remember a thing about what happened. He has completely deleted that day from his mind, hence why we can't even know where he was located at the moment of the fire.

An obnoxious cough followed Yoongi's statement, which brought the attention of the entire group on the scarlet king.

-Actually, I do know where he was. I even know the culprit but no one wants to listen to me- chirped the King of hearts, pouting his lips and folding his arms on his chest. As a couple of exasperated sighs and protesting cries raised from the group, the human tilted her head.

-Really?- she asked with sincere curiosity, staring at the man. The latter, frivolously batting his eyelids, smiled widely and took her hand.

-Follow me!

The man dragged her inside the palace, leading her in a big hall that faced the ashy garden with walls entirely covered in silver which melted in dense floral patterns that reached the ceiling. At the centre of the room, was a silver throne with black trims. The sovereign, though, stopped only when he was facing a tall mirror that took the right wall to the throne and that was as big as one of the windows.

-As you already know, I have dominion over mirrors. And amongst my many wonderful powers, there is one that allows me to see the images captured by every mirror of the world!- enthusiastically explained the man, pointing at the object encased in a precious black frame with a blatant gesture of his hand. The human, contemplating it, turned to the crimson king.

-So you are able to show who was here, in this room, the day of the fire?

The sovereign winked at her, emphasising his elegant cheekbones.

-Exactly.

The human brought her eyes on her reflection, a woman dressed in a large white chemise tucked into high-waisted jeans, touched by the tips of her long raven hair. That reflection, then, started floating like the circles that form on the surface of a pond that is perturbed by a pebble, until it morphed into the figure of the King of clubs. He had his crown on, covered in shiny silver and topped by peaks of onyx, and was wearing a silver cape on which was pinned the brooch with his coat-of-arms. His face, however, was distraught by an emotion that resembled pure madness.

-No! You are wrong! You are all wrong! You are just a witch with no authority here! Go away!

The voice dripping contempt of the sovereign escaped the glass in pieces and, even if it wasn't possible to see who he was directing his anger at, the hem of a black skirt appeared at the corner of the mirror.

-I said go away!

The shouts of the man had become even the more violent and his raging face looked around himself, pupils dilated like a wild beast, before going out of the frame and coming back with a chandelier in his hand.

-Go!

And the king exited the scene for good as the weak flames of the candles animated his face with a soft orange. The glass, then, went back to showing the reflection of the young woman with her face closed in a thoughtful grimace.

-So, according to this... it would have been the King of clubs himself?- she asked, raising an eyebrow. An outraged grunt made her turn towards the raven king, who up until that moment had yet to pronounce a word.

-Oh please! We all know that Jimin can manipulate the pictures in the mirrors! It's obvious that this is his doing! Seokjin-Hyung would have never hurt a fly!- growled the sovereign, pointing his accusatory finger against the King of hearts. The latter, faking an expression of pure indignation, blatantly touched his chest.

-How could you accuse me of something like this? Me, manipulating a reflection in order to place the blame on Seokjin! What an absurdity!

-Then why don't you even have the grace to use honourifics when talking about the oldest amongst us?- menacingly whispered Namjoon, who had reached the crimson king with long strides and who had gripped his precious jacket in order to near their faces.

-Don't be so stern now! You are all important to my eyes, the entire world is at the same level!- theatrically exclaimed Jimin, widening his arms.

-We are kings, all four of us! We are all equals, right?- he added, softening his voice in an innocent tone, before lowering his chin and staring straight in the eyes of the fuming sovereign, opening in a malicious smile.

-But you would believe nothing that I say, isn't it... Namjoon-ie?- murmured the crimson king a breath away from the grinding lips of the man. The human, observing the scene, tightened her mouth.

No, something wasn't right.

Even opening her mind to all possible scenarios, it seemed improbable that the King of clubs would damage his own dominion, causing such a great loss to himself. But she needed confirmation.

-For what reason does the King of clubs not have a Jack?

The attendants moved their attention from the conflict between the two men to the human who was looking at them with determination. It was the King of diamonds who spoke first, throwing a weary look at the sovereign who was gripping with his nails Jimin's jacket.

-When we came to existence, there were seven of us: four kings and three jacks. It was destiny, hence, that one of us had to be left without a Jack and Seokjin-hyung offered to make this sacrifice. He said he didn't need one. He had never wanted weapons in his territory and neither a private militia. In general, he was the one who kept the best relationship with all of us, even when conflicts arised among the other kingdoms.

The woman nodded raising her head to the ceiling, before bringing her gaze back on the mirror that was showing her reflection.

-I don't think he was the one who started the fire either. A peaceful individual, who had never showed an inclination towards violence, what reason would have had to turn against the queen and destroy his own dominion? It doesn't make sense. And neither does a sudden burst of madness. I think the culprit is someone else- she concluded, turning to the attendants who carefully stared at her. It was only then that, finally, the King of spades released his grip from the jacket of the scarlet king, throwing him an accusatory look.

-It is apparent, then, that someone is trying to hide something- Namjoon said harshly, bringing Jimin to curl his lips in an elegant growl.

-Are you accusing me, perhaps?

The eyes of the woman darted from one individual to the other, contemplating the palpable tension that seemed to animate their bodies and their burning gazes.

-I don't know, Jimin. You tell me- spat  with a cavernous tone the raven king, clenching his jaw. The human, then, turned to the golden sovereign, who studied the scene with increasing worry.

-Is there any way to verify if he is telling the truth?

Yoongi observed her for a few moments, before glancing at Jimin.

-There would be the Ace of hearts, but only his king can make it work- he claimed, compelling the mentioned to let out a loud snort.

-The Ace is quite unruly these days, even I can't make it work- he said, lifting his shoulders with nonchalance.

-Quite convenient- murmured the King of spades, staring at Jimin.

-What's the Ace of hearts?

Yoongi brought his gaze back on the human.

-Every sovereign has an object that represents the key and the essence of his power itself. The Ace of hearts is the Mirror of truth. It can't be altered and it can't show anything but the pure and simple reality. Furthermore, it is connected to every mirror in our world, so it can connect to every corner where a reflecting surface exists.

The young woman, with eyes widened by surprise, contemplated the new informations. Kings with supernatural powers, mirrors of truth... that world was definitely far more bizarre than what she had predicted.

-May I ask for your collaboration to use your Ace, your majesty? It would be a prime tool to reach the solution of this mystery- she then demanded, turning to the ethereal figure behind her. Him, after a moment of silence closed in an unreadable expression, opened in a seducing smirk.

-If you ask with such grace, my beautiful petal, how can I refuse you?

[bclatrix]

Could you right a fic where Draco just randomly confesses his love for Harry? Like in a very mundane situation

sorry for the delay on this lol i accidentally got into medical school. you know how it is

anyway, this kind of went a different direction than i expected but hey sometimes it just be like that

(apologies for errors, im heavily intoxicated and this is unbeta'd)

Comfort

863 words; Rated G

The sky’s vibrant shade of blue is bittersweet. She would have loved the sun, sharing its warmth and radiance. She would have loved the clear sky. She would have spent the day walking through the grounds, tending to her gardens. Draco’s fingers fidget around the stems of the bouquet. He gazes distantly down at the flowers. Peonies. Her favourite.

Harry’s hand comes to rest gently on the small of Draco’s back. He turns, warm eyes watching Draco carefully. “That’s it over there, yeah?” he asks quietly as he shoots his eyes towards a large white marble building coming into view ahead of them. Draco nods, still staring at the flowers, and Harry’s hand presses more firmly into his back, urging Draco forward. Towards the Memorial.

When they reach the door to the building, they walk inside and take in their surroundings in silent, sad deference. There are large windows lining the perimeter inside, letting sunshine pour in. The room gives the absurd impression of some kind of museum; artfully crafted pedestals in matching white marble to the exterior line the walls inside. Some of the pedestals have yet to be used, but many others (labeled with a gold name plate) hold what appear to be small sculptures. For generations, Malfoys have chosen or designed these small sculptures to house their ashes after death.

Harry follows closely behind as Draco crosses the floor of the Memorial to the newest addition. Draco swallows, wincing at the friction in his dry throat, as he reads the plate.

Narcissa Black Malfoy

1955 - 2002

Draco stares at the name, not really even seeing the letters. His mother was the only family he had left. Lucius perished in Azkaban shortly after the war, and Draco had never established a relationship with Andromeda. Though Narcissa had survived the war and its aftermath without any criminal charges, she never really recovered emotionally. With Lucius gone, Narcissa was broken. She held on as long as she could, Draco knew, for him. She didn’t want to abandon her son. But the misery and pain caught up with her in the end.

Sighing heavily, Draco places the bouquet in the small ring jutting out from the side of the pedestal. The sculpture his mother had designed is truly beautiful: a curving spiral made of blown glass, her ashes tastefully dusted throughout the core of the structure. Draco gazes at it, feeling his eyes burn. He feels Harry’s hand wrap around his own, fingers strong and sure and comforting as they lace through Draco’s.

Draco sighs again before turning to look at Harry, and his chest aches with the warmth he finds in his eyes. “Thank you,” he says, voice uncharacteristically shaky. Harry responds by pulling Draco into a gentle embrace, one arm wrapping around his waist while the other hand finds the nape of Draco’s neck, guiding him forward until they are pressed together, Draco’s chin resting on Harry’s shoulder.

Here, like this, no one can see the tear that finally escapes, finally runs free down Draco’s cheek. No one will see this moment of weakness. No one except Harry, who doesn’t care about the weakness, never cared about the weakness. Harry, who stands so strong against Draco’s trembling frame. Harry, who rubs comforting circles into Draco’s back and strokes his hair. Safe and protected and cared for in Harry’s arms, Draco lets the tears fall, lets his body finally collapse into the wracking sobs he’d been refusing to give into since hearing the news of his mother’s passing. Harry just holds Draco through it all, steadily running his hand up and down his back in firm, comforting strokes.

After a few moments, Draco gathers himself enough to step back from Harry. He gazes upon the sculpture again for another minute before the two of them turn to leave the Memorial building. Outside, Draco looks at Harry and feels a sudden rush of affection. Harry hadn’t even hesitated in offering to accompany Draco on a visit to the Memorial. He aches with grief and gratitude and knows that even without his mother, Draco is not alone. Harry is his family now. Harry will walk this road with him, whether it takes them to a Memorial or to their wildest dreams. Through it all, Draco suddenly feels absolutely certain that Harry will be an unwavering constant.

Harry gazes at Draco with slight confusion on top of the care and concern, and Draco realizes he’s just been staring. Blushing, Draco wraps his arms around Harry again, pulling him close and turning his face into Harry’s neck. “Thank you, again,” he whispers. “Harry. I love you.”

Harry’s body stiffens for a quick second in surprise before melting into Draco, squeezing him tightly. He places a soft kiss into Draco’s hair. “I love you, too,” he replies in a soft voice.

The two of them stand there in the embrace, holding onto the moment, clinging to this bubble of vulnerability. They will have to go back to the Manor soon, to sort out some inheritance details and return to real life, but for now, they stand together, content to stay frozen in this flash of grief and tenderness.

[rbbalmung]

Pokemon SwSh GPL AU: Character Headcannons P1

(From this point on, I am calling this Pokemon Sword and Shield AU the GPL AU after the Galarian Pokemon League). Here are my character headcannons! I am going to give each character and age and a general ethnicity even though A) time will pass in this au and B) obviously there are no countries in Pokemon. I will be giving them an age based on when the AU starts, at the beginning on Gloria’s Pokemon League Journey. 

GLORIA:

-Age: 16

-Ethnicity: Half English, Half Japanese (English father, Japanese mother)

-General Headcannons: 

o  She is an introverted extrovert. She loves meeting new people and making new friends, but she is on the quiet side due to her troubled relationship with her father. 

o  Going off of that, her parents got a divorce when she was 6 years old because her father was negligent. She has not been in contact with him since he left, but he is at the base of some of her social anxiety. That is why she mostly speaks either in short sentences or not at all (going off her interactions in the game). 

o  The thing that makes Gloria stand out as a Pokemon trainer is that she can pick up on her opponents nuances just by examining them. For example, if her opponent’s breathing quickens, she knows that they are nervous and will resort to mainly attacks. That is why it is so hard for her to beat Leon: He has an emotionless mask during his battles.

o  She picked up this strategy by watching GPL battles throughout her childhood. Gloria was often put in front of the television set to distract her from her parents fighting, and since she had to put so much of her attention towards the matches, she picked up on a lot of people’s ticks. 

o  Gloria is very clingy to Hop. She finds comfort in being near him, so she is often latching onto his arm, hugging him from behind, or holding his hand. The closer she gets to people, the more she hangs onto them. This is rough with Bede and Bea, so it takes a bit of work on both their ends to make sure they’re not making the other party unhappy. 

o  Gloria is ridiculously brave. She will go into pretty much any situation, which is why she just goes along when asked to join the dojo/go on an expedition. 

o  Speaking of expeditions, she looks up to Peony as the father figure she never had. She doesn’t outwardly tell him this because A) her relationship with her father really messed her up and B) the fact that he is related to Rose makes her a little wary. She knows how much Rose messed up Bede and does not want to cause more grief. 

o  Speaking of Bede, they actually become really close friends after the League wraps up and during Rose’s trial. Bede is one of the only people that can emphasise with her social anxiety, and luckily for him, Gloria doesn’t give up on people. She has to work on not being clingy with him because he does not like being touched. 

o  Gloria is the first female champion! 

o. Victor exists in this au, but not until way after Gloria’s first year as champion. He is her half brother; her father eventually remarried in Stow-In-Side and had Victor a year-ish later (making him 7 years younger than Gloria). They do not reunite until she is 20 years old, but she accepts him as her brother easily (she knows how terrible their dad is). 

o  Gloria’s full name is Gloria Park. She does not have a middle name. 

(I took the most liberties with Gloria because she is the MC and the game doesn’t give toooo much of a character. I know a lot of people head cannon her as super extroverted and confident, but I preferred this take for this particular AU).

HOP:

-Age: 16

-Ethnicity: Half Spanish, Half Black (His mom is Spanish, his dad is black)

-General Headcannons: 

o  Hop’s dad died when he was 2 years old, so he doesn’t really remember him. He never really had a father figure since Leon left to become Champion when he was 6. That is where is anxiety is rooted: Both his father (who was a firefighter and treated like a hero after his death) and Leon’s success makes Hop feel like he has to do something grand to live up to them. 

o  Hop actually befriended Gloria through their love of Pokemon battles! His mum invited her mum over for dinner, and while his and Gloria’s interactions were stiff at best during dinner, they really clicked after when they began watching the game on the TV. They’ve been inseparable ever since. 

o  I headcannon that Hop has ADD. He practically never sits still and has a hard time paying attention to things unless he is hyper focused. Hop is really booksmart, he just has trouble focusing. He also doesn’t really see the point in maintaining his grades when he’s just going to become the new Champion.

o  He played soccer when he was little as an outlet for his ADD. He joined the GJPL (Galar Junior Pokemon League), but since he was in a small district, he never made it to the big times like Bede. He did manage to score fairly well with his wooloo, though, making him one of the MVPs in the 76th GPL.

o  Hop is a nickname. HIs full name is “Hipoltio Henry Hoffman”. (Henry was his father’s name).

o Like Gloria, Hop is a really touchy person. They kind of rubbed off on each other, so he shows affection by linking arms, bumping shoulders, ect. 

o  After the GPL wraps up and he gets asked to be Sonia’s assistant, she gives him the opportunity to study abroad until he graduates high school. He takes this opportunity and briefly moves to study other Pokemon in Johto. He does come back to visit in the summer, which is why he ends up on the Isle of Armor around the same time as Gloria. 

BEDE:

-Age: 17

-Ethnicity: White 

-Headcannons:

o   He never met his parents, but he was told he was taken away from them by child protective services. This made him really bitter from the get-go because they never came back for him.

o   Bede has abandonment issues, but in a different way from Gloria. While she is willing to let anyone in, he is more prone to shut everyone out. He only starts to open up when he realizes Gloria’s life isn’t as perfect as he originally guessed.

o   Bede reeeeaaaallllyyyy doesn’t like being touched. He got into a lot of fights in the orphanage when he was younger because of his short temper. That is barely the tip of the iceberg: There was a lot of shady things that happened at the orphanage that only stopped once Chairman Rose started showing interest in him. Bede doesn’t talk about this to anyone.

o  Bede participated in the GJPL and made it to the championships two years in a row! He got to travel to Hoenn for one of them and meet the champion there. This was what brought Rose’s attention to him. 

o  The reason Bede didn’t join the league at 16 was because Rose didn’t sponsor him yet. Because of this, he decided to challenge Raihan for his position as gym leader of Hammerlocke. Sufficed to say, Bede lost pretty badly. 

o  He was very convinced that Rose was going to adopt him, which made his dismissal ten times worse than it originally was. He eventually comes to term with the fact that the Chairman used him and threw him under the bus when he realised that he could get in trouble for destroying the monument. 

o  Opal becomes his guardian when he accepts his new role as the Fairy Gym Leader, but she officially adopts him about a year later. He isn’t very good at talking about his emotions, but he does care deeply for the old woman and her acceptance of him brought him to tears. 

o   Bede gave himself his middle name: Steven, after Hoenn’s Champion Steven Stone. His full name is Bede Steven Doe pre-adoption, and Bede Steven Waltz post-adoption. 

o  He is super prickly, but after becoming gym leader, Bede mellows out a little bit. He is still haughty and self absorbed, but he is not as outwardly rude about it. 

o  He ends up forming a lot of unlikely relationships after he settles in his position as gym leader. He and Bea get along really well because of their proximity and similar personalities, Gloria won’t let him not be her friend (he has a soft side for her), and Marnie is one of the less eccentric gym leaders that he likes to hang around with at group gatherings. 

MARNIE:

-Age: 16

-Ethnicity: White

-Headcannons:

o   Marnie is the youngest of 5 children, and she is the only girl. Therefore, she was always coddled by her family. One of the biggest reasons she joined the pokemon league was to prove her true worth to her family.

o   Out of all her siblings, she is the closest to Piers. She doesn’t agree with his opposition to dynamaxing, but they are both passionate about restoring glory to Spikemuth. He also spent the most time with her when they were growing up because her parents worked a lot (Spikemuth is a poverty-stricken town). 

o   Marnie is quite the little activist. It is a little ironic because she is incredibly soft-spoken and will swear up a storm at the same time. 

o   She gains a lot of fans during her GPL alongside Gloria because they are both favourites to become the first female champion. Instead of forming a bitter rivalry with her, Marnie elects to befriend Gloria because she reminds her of her friend, Primrose. 

o   Marnie LOVES shopping. She never really had the chance to leave Spikemuth growing up, so a lot of her free time when not participating in Pokemon battles is spent in boutiques. 

o   One of Marnie’s special skills is that she can see right through a person’s core. That is why she is initially kind to Gloria, Hop, and Bede. On the other hand, she and Piers both constantly talk shit about Chairman Rose. She isn’t really a fan of Leon either, but she knows that he is a good person so she tries to be nice.

o   Speaking of Leon (to some degree), she immediately decides to befriend Hop when she realises he is also the younger sibling of a famous Pokemon trainer. They bond over their similar roles in life and their shared love of music! (Hop really likes Piers’s music and freaks out when he gets to meet him). 

o   Marnie can play the guitar and the piano! If she didn’t become a gym leader, she could definitely see herself going into music. 

o  I head cannon that Marnie is bisexual, but she is not currently aware of it. I will definitely talk more about this later in the AU or if I actually get around to writing a one shot. 

o  Her full name is Marnie Isla Lewis. 

Next Part: Gym Leaders! 

[nikosomething]

Thought it might be fun to share my concepts for my Beautiful Sacrifice Series

My Concepts

The women of The Untamed are so amazing ughhh

This whole series happened thanks to @mdzswomen​ s event to honour the women of MDZS. When I read about it I noticed I had never tried to draw any of these amazing women and I knew I needed to change something about that.

My idea was to create a tribute to these strong women and their decision to sacrifice everything. My choice of characters was based on the week one prompts: Jiang Yanli, Wen Qing, Mian Mian and A-Qing. There were more prompts and women, but at that time I didn’t even think I’d manage to draw more than two of them let alone a conceptual series.

It all started with Wen Qing, actually, even though she was the prompt for day two. I knew I wanted a really tall format like a banner hanging from a ceiling (as they are often used in an honorary context) and parts of the character to stick out of its boundaries.

As you can see at first I experimented with Wen Qing fiercely staring into the distance. I tried another sketch with her eyes closed and that’s what inspired all other elements, really.

I decided that I wanted to depict one of the saddest, but also most beautiful and strongest aspects of their journey: the end. I’d call it their final moment, but that doesn’t quite cut it. Jiang Yanli saving Wei Wuxian might have been instinctive, but it wasn’t done to her, she chose to push him away, whatever it may cost her. Which is why I want to go for the phrasing of it having been their final decision. It was an action. And a strong one at that. MianMian chose to end her career, unwilling to tolerate those close-minded people. Wen Qing chose to face the Lanling Jin clan, knowing death was a very likely result. A-Qing chose to signal Xue Yang’s position knowing how dangerous he was.

I didn’t want to portray the scene too realistically, but rather in a symbolic way. For the Beautiful Sacrifice Series I wanted to focus on ease/liberation, sadness and beauty. I chose to portray the deceased with closed eyes and a peaceful expression (as they don’t regret their final act), which is why Mian Mian’s eyes are wide open with her determinedly looking ahead. I also included the last sentence we hear each of these women speak in the show before their (old) life ends.

WEN QING

The first character I had a concept for was Wen Qing. I knew immediately that I wanted to include fire as the cause of her death, but I also wanted to simplify it, to turn it more into a symbol than the actual scene of her being burnt alive.

(At least I imagine that that’s what happened, I may be wrong, though. We know they got her ashes. However, she may have been killed first and burnt later. Or they made it a spectacle to watch one of the last Wen die in flames. Very cruel, but perhaps some found it satisfying).

Wen Qing’s hair is floating in the upwind of the fire’s heat. The flames point to the last thing we hear her say. The background is red for the Wen and fades to black to make the fire shine bright.

The colouring process was quite challenging. I spent days on it, it was really giving me a headache hahaha, I just wasn’t satisfied with anything, the colour palette, the shading, the lighting (it’s the first time I tried a more fancy lighting situation). In the end I put some layers on multiply, which actually helped as I now know her robes were coloured too light, which meant there wasn’t enough contrast to the bright flames in the background.

I was really insecure about the whole piece. I am still stunned that Wen Qing is the drawing with the most notes of this entire series. Thank you so much, it gave me a lot of confidence and motivation to keep trying out new stuff!

JIANG YANLI

Immediately after I had scribbled my Wen Qing concept I knew what I wanted Jiang Yanli’s tribute to look like. Soft and tender, like she is. With Wen Qing it’s the powerful flames that make her hair puff up, resembling Wen Qing’s fierce personality. For Jiang Yanli it’s a gentle breeze that lifts a strand of her hair and carries the lotus leaves with it.

Her eyes are closed as she is deceased. A lotus flower is located where she received the lethal wound in her brother's stead. The flower symbolises her sect, family and fond memories (be it playing by the water with her brothers or making lotus root soup).

Jiang Yanli is wearing my favourite outfit of hers and not her mourning robes which she died in, because I think it captures the gentleness of her personality perfectly with the pastel Jiang colour palette (and it’s actually a layer of see-through fabric in the show).

I really enjoyed colouring this piece and while it was the second design it was the first one I did the lineart and colour for.

MIAN MIAN

I wanted to include an element of disillusion since she experiences that moment of humiliation which is followed by the realisation that the Jin clan doesn’t have her back and goes against her morals.

In the caption I wrote: She spoke up, she stood her ground and then she left all these narrow-minded people behind, choosing to walk alone rather than be silenced. She was the true spark amidst plain snow and she had to realise that the white peony she served was rotten. That day she escaped these golden robes, shedding this old skin which had gotten too tight, and stepped into the future that was hers and hers alone.

The white peony is the symbol of the Lanling Jin sect and while it shines brightly on the outside Mian Mian learned to see through the façade, recognising all the rotten parts she didn’t want to tolerate any longer. With her leaving the peony sheds its petals until it vanished from her life.

In my initial sketch Mian Mian is portrayed with the simple robes she wears underneath her Lanling Jin attire. Since I didn’t give Jiang Yanli her mourning robes and didn’t plan on drawing A-Qing in her white robes either it didn’t feel quite right, though.

The phrase “shedding old skin” and the image of a snake came to my mind. First I thought about experimenting with an actual snake or the pattern of its scales. In the end I settled on the Jin robes being that old skin and showed Mian Mian’s personal robes as the shiny new skin underneath. I wanted to show that she may be stepping out of the Jin sect, but that she is starting on a new, meaningful path.

(Drawing the Jin robes was quite bothersome hahaha. I took tons of pictures of me wearing a robe, but it was so slippery that I almost pulled a muscle while trying to make it look right in the photo. I spent an hour or so on it without any satisfying result and ended up drawing it from imagination after all.)

While I loved my sketch the execution was a p-a-i-n. Colouring her personal robes almost drove me mad and the face, the face was such a struggle. I think I redrew it four to five times. I still think I could have done better, but after days of trying to fix it I decided that perhaps I need some more months of practice to get her expression right (so I might re-draw her in the future).

A-QING

I didn’t think I’d enjoy the A-Qing piece as much as I did!! After having drawn three artworks I was worried that I may have exhausted all possibilities / ideas and that it would end up being a repetition of what I had already done.

I rewatched her episodes for inspiration. I watched all significant episodes of all the women I drew for that matter haha. The last thing we hear her say is directed at Song Lan, actually, which in retrospect surprised me. I could have sworn she talked to Xiao Xingchen last. Or Xue Yang (like in the novel). But nope, it’s our poor poor Song Lan.

Given that A-Qing died the youngest (I think?) I wanted to make her look younger than the other women, so I kept her head round and used pastel colours on her face.

I like moths (unless they eat my clothes or settle down in my food). Moths seek the light and in some way Xiao Xingchen was that light in A-Qing’s life. With the glow they symbolise A-Qing’s soul leaving her body through the lethal wound Xue Yang inflicted on her.

I placed one moth on her mouth as she has been muted by Xue Yang. The new moon in the background stands for the eternal darkness Xue Yang cast on her as moonless nights are the darkest.

For A-Qing I wrote in the caption: She couldn’t protect the man who had taken her in and cared for her. But she stayed. She became a lonely guardian, watching out for the remains of her lost brother in the silence and darkness which were forced upon her. Until that fated day when she gave her life so that the culprit who had shattered this tender soul would be brought to justice.

I finished A-Qing’s artwork way quicker than expected. The robes were tricky with all the torn spots and loose thread, but the rest came easy. I had lots of fun with the moths and the moon. And the glow. I love that cool light blue glow.

THANK YOU

All in all I really loved drawing this series and I thank you for your support, for your wonderful tags which make me smile and giggle and for every reblog and like! Whenever I have a hard time I revisit your tags and find strength within them.

[drwcn]

I really do think mianmian and lwj deserve to be like, close friends. from their meeting in the show it doesn’t seem like they ever saw each other after jinlintai and i have no idea when they would’ve gotten the chance, but just afterwards, you know?

yes, I think they definitely deserve to be friends! One of things I always found troubling about these novel based xianxia dramas is the lack of sustainable friendship beyond the main romance line. I guess in order to create angst and emotional investment for the audiences, a lot of times, friendship get sidelined or destroyed when characters die or betray each other. As well, most non-romance relationships that we see lasting to the end of the story are family relations and sometimes servitude (aka a lackey that hangs on until the end). Real friendships where both parties are roughly on equal footing and station rarely last in these epic adventure dramas. You couldn’t even say Wen Ning is Wei Wuxian’s friend of equal station, not when Wen Ning doesn’t call Wei Wuxian by his name, just “young master”. Perhaps this is to isolate the main character, who knows.  Even so, friendship between men is portrayed more frequently than friendship between women, or men and women. 

So with your prompt, it inspired me to write a little something Luo Qingyang centric, ft our Hanguang-jun and juniors.

~~~ 

Lanling Jin’s entourage stood by the gates of Cloud Recesses, patiently waiting for their admission. What seemed like a life time ago, Luo Qingyang had been on these same steps with Jin Zixuan. She’d been a girl then, barely bloomed, barely grown. Life had been simple, and she had thought she knew what the future would hold. 

So much had come to pass, yet these grand arches, white granite stone pulsing with spiritual aura, never seemed to age. 

She glanced down at her Jin Clan robes, the pale yellow and white, embroidered with peonies and a strip of blue accentuating the lapel edge. She never thought she’d wear these colours again. Her mother had been a Jin, first cousin of Jin Guangshan. Once upon time, she’d been proud to be one of them, to be part of a powerful and wealthy clan. Then the war came and went, like the debriding of a wound upon their world that revealed the flesh underneath had caseated to the bone. She’d been so disillusioned, so aggrieved by her elders and disappointed by her peers. 

Even Zixuan.

He had been a good man, her cousin. But he wasn’t strong of heart nor clever of mind. She was sorry to know he had died, but she wasn’t surprised. If he could not see the game his father had been playing, then there had never been any hope for him.

Luo Qingyang glanced towards the youth in front of her just slightly to the right. From the view of his back, she could almost picture his father, standing there with Suihua in his clutch, a proud son of the house of Jin. Time seemed to fluctuate, the eighteen years between then and now barely a drop in the ocean. If she breathed deeply enough and closed her eyes, she could almost be Mianmian again, could almost see Zixuan again. 

This was the first time Jin Ling had come to Cloud Recesses without his jiujiu. The boy was rightfully nervous, but this push towards independence was necessary. Sooner or later, baby bird had to learn how to fly. Like his father, Jin Rulan had a kind nature, even if he was awful at expressing his feelings. He was young, but the burden on his shoulders were heavy. For the mess that was the Jin Clan post Jin Guangyao's demise to fall into Jin Ling's lap was the best and worst case scenario. If he hadn’t risen to occasion, the subsidiary sects - vultures circling a carcass- would’ve torn Lanling apart. 

Perhaps that was why Luo Qingyang had agreed to return to her mother clan.

Wei Wuxian had arrived at her doorsteps one day some months after the incident at Guanyin Temple. Even on the outskirts of Yiling where she had lived, she had received news of what had happened. Wei Wuxian explained he’d been travelling, but between his subtle hints and unsubtle nudges, she had understood his intentions. 

Jin Ling had no one to help him man the helm. Jiang Cheng could only do so much without the other sects accusing him of overreaching into businesses beyond Yunmeng’s jurisdiction. Jin Ling was Jinlintai’s heir, not Lotus Pier’s, a fact that most people had slowly forgotten over the last decade. Childless, Jiang Cheng’s seat would one day go to his prime disciple, but not to his nephew.   

“Lan Zhan had written a decree for you, in case you encounter trouble going back. It’s a lot to ask for, I know. You’ve got such a lovely home here. But...you are needed, Mianmian, if you could forgive them.”

Forgive them? Luo Qingyang sighed. What’s there to forgive? She had left of her own volition, married well, and had a wonderful family. Her husband grumbled a bit about moving to the big city, but in the end he followed her back to her clan, just like he did to her night hunts. Her husband had been a merchant once, and she had no doubt he would thrive in Lanling. So far, she had not been proven wrong.  

“I am Jin Rulan’s biao’gu*. He is as much your nephew as he is mine. Tell His Excellency that I will return to Jinlintai shortly. He can be assured Sect Leader Jin will not be alone.”  

Lan Sizhui, Gusu Lan’s Head Disciple greeted them at the gates with a deep bow. Like his de-facto cousin, Sizhui had grown taller and more mature. 

“Welcome, Jin-zongzhu, Luo-zhangshi*, and honored guests. Cloud Recesses thank you for your patience. Please, come with me.” 

He gave Jin Ling a private smile, and the latter perked up immediately. “Lan-gongzi, you’re too kind. It’s been some time since we last spoke. I trust His Excellency is of good health and spirit?”

“Hanguang-jun is very well, thank you Jin-zongzhu.” In a lower tone, Sizhui commented. “I would’ve visited Lotus Pier with Wei-qianbei last harvest, but I was sent to Qinghe for sect business.” 

Boys playing at being men. 

Luo Qingyang hid a smile, slowing down her steps to give the youngsters some privacy from the party that followed them. 

Such innocence. How lovely it was. The boys she’d known were forced to grow up amidst fire and chaos, and did so in such brutal, unimaginable ways. So many had died, and those who had lived would never get to experience their ‘what-could’ve-been’s.

~

After, when the official businesses were settled and the disciples were dismissed, Luo Qingyang and Lan Wangji sat together in a quiet pavilion. Sizhui and A-Ling were some distances away down the lang, standing a reasonable distance apart and conversing politely. Though, it was more than obvious that they were itching to shed their gentlemanly exterior and scurry off to whatever shenanigans boys their age got up to when their guardians weren't looking.

Lou Qingyang observed the man sitting across from her and found some irony in the fact that they were strangely similar. Though talented in cultivation, Lan Wangji was not the type she would’ve imagined being Chief Cultivator, and certainly she herself could’ve never imagined that one day she would be chief of staff of Lanling Jin. 

Life dealt them both a funny set of cards and all they could do was keep playing. 

“I know Wei Ying had delivered my message, but I want to thank you properly in person, Luo-zhangshi, for agreeing to come back. Those early days after Jin Guangyao’s death was...precariously to say the least. The situation at Jinlintai is much better now thanks to your efforts.” 

“Hanguang-jun, we’ve known each other for a long time. Your husband has a scar on his chest from saving me from a Wen branding iron, and my daughter has received lucky money from the both of you. I think you can call me Miamian, if you’re comfortable with that.” She smiled, taking a sip of her tea. The scent of jasmine was calming after such a long, arduous morning.

Lan Wangji nodded, turning to his own cup. “We used to be classmates, now we are colleagues. Perhaps you are right. Formality in private is unnecessary.” 

“As for coming back, it is my duty. Jin Ling is bright and kind. With the right guidance, Lanling Jin Sect will recover. I knew him, Jin Guangyao. He was... nice to me, most of the time anyways. Whether that niceness had any truth behind it, I don’t know, but even then he’d been so unreadable. I only wish I’d seen through it all sooner. So you see, there is no need for thanks, Wangji-xiong. We Jins have done enough wrong against your family. Pray, how is Zewu-jun?” 

 “Brother is still in seclusion, but he is no danger to himself. He is better now. Time heals all wounds. Though...” 

Though knowing Lan Xichen, knowing what Lans were like when faced with tragic love, Lan Wangji wasn’t sure what his brother’s future would hold. 

Luo Qingyang nodded, understanding. Suddenly, their tranquility was interrupted by a disciple rounding the corner, footsteps heavy and voice decidedly too loud. 

“Sizhui, did you meet up with Young Mis -” 

Lan Jingyi’s holler aborted immediately when he saw who was sitting in the pavilion. “Erm... Hanguang-jun, Luo-zhangshi...” Smiling sheepishly, he bowed. 

“Sizhui.” Lan Wangji gave his son a pointed look, which the youth instantly understood. 

“Ah, Jin-zongzhu. Perhaps you would like for Jingyi and myself to you show around? Cloud Recesses’ scenery is really one of a kind this time of year.”  

“Yes, yes!" Jin Ling leaped to his feet from where he was sitting on the bench. He paused, casting a cautious glance towards his aunt, before clearing his throat and continuing in his most ‘adult’ voice. “Yes, I would like that. Lan-gongzi, Jingyi-xiong, if you wouldn't mind leading the way.” 

Luo Qingyang and Lan Wangji focused their attention back to their tea cups, both turning a blind eye to the way Sizhui and Rulan all but ran to join up with Lan Jingyi. 

They were out of sight in a heartbeat. 

“Do you know who they remind me of?” Luo Qingyang tilted her head as a sense of deja-vu washed over her. 

“Mn?” 

“Wei-gongzi, Nie-zongzhu, and Jiang-zongzhu, during our guest disciple days.” 

Our long summer. 

“Mn.”

“Remember when they got drunk on Emperor’s Smile? They really were audacious even then.” Luo Qingyang reminisced with a fond chuckle. 

“Yes. Uncle was furious.” The corner of Lan Wangji’s lips tilted upwards. 

Was that amusement she detected?! 

Mianman blinked, suddenly realizing, “Oh but you were amongst them too, if I recall correctly.” She gave him a sly smile. “The girls said you were discovered in a drunken coma in Wei-gongzi’s room the next morning. Is that true?” 

“Yes.” 

Oh the scandal! “How did they rope you into it?”

“I was willing,” confessed the venerated Hanguang-jun without so much as a blush. The shameless scoundrel! 

Luo Qingyang laughed, the sound ringing like a clear bell that cut through Cloud Recesses’ tranquility. 

“I suppose it doesn’t matter anymore; he’s your husband now. For the record, we all saw it coming.”

Lan Wangji raised a quizzical brow. “Oh? I did not think it was obvious.” 

“Well, not to the male disciples perhaps, but the female disciples, we all knew.” Luo Qingyang took a deep breath and sighed. “Sometimes I miss those days. Simpler times.” 

“Mn.” 

“My daughter has started cultivation lessons with the other children at Jinlintai. Someday she may visit here as guest disciple, as I once was. I hope her future will be a better one.” 

She met his gaze steadily, and the understanding in between had no need for further words. 

Lan Wangji smiled. 

“That is my wish as well.” 

  ~

biao’gu 表姑 = a type of aunt, a distant female cousin of one’s parent that’s in the same generation as them.

zhang’shi 长史= an antiquated government position that’s akin to Secretary General. 

[queensdivas]

Peonies Chapter 1

soOkay so for those of you who didn’t know what the heck just happened. Tumblr decided to screw with the first chapter and not post it properly. Rude I know! 

So I jumped on my work computer and going to quickly post it so I don’t get in trouble. Teehee. 

Y’all ready for this though! I’m so excited for this one! The vocabulary that I’ve had to use is quite nice and fits the times perfectly! 

Next Chapter

masterlist

HERE WE GO!

Peonies a a charming lady 

She doesn’t like a spot too shady 

Likes to live out in the light 

Dressed in red or pink or white 

To Bloom brighter than the earth 

And to defeat all others

What is it like to be a Duchess who will be Governing a vast amount of Northern Italy? I’m not quite sure yet due to the fact mio padre is still ruling over the land and I’m being tutored in the fine games of politics. Oh do not get me wrong I would rather acquire all of the information of learning to rule rather than taking the responsibility too prematurely. 

Handing my reins to the stable boy as I began walking inside the Monastery to meet with Mother Superior Ani. I speak to her for council when it comes to somewhat major decisions in my life. This major decision is traveling to Russia and supporting Catherine in her new life. From what she has told me and what I’ve heard from padre. Russia is an absolute catastrophe. 

Something is relaxing about walking through the monastery when the sound of the nuns are singing. The beautiful art of the story of Christ, the only sound besides their songs are the winds blowing and birds chirping. Quite beautiful. Standing in the middle of the courtyard as I waited for Mother Ani to greet me for our chat. 

“Good afternoon Lady Chiara.” I was greeted by Sister Calderón along with Sister Grazia. The only set of twin nuns I’ve ever witnessed in my life. 

“Good afternoon Sister Calderón. Sister Grazia. I’m assuming that Mother Ani is finishing her afternoon confessions?” Asking them as they both nodded. 

“How are we feeling today?” They smiled as they approached me. 

“We’re going on a mission trip to Africa very soon!”  Sister Calderón cheered as Sister Grazia jumped a little. 

“We’re finally leaving!” Sister Grazia exclaimed as I smiled and clapped for them. 

“Congratulations you two!”

“I’m assuming they told you about their mission trip?” Mother Ani approached us as they collected themselves in front of her. Nodding and they scurrying off back into the chapel.

“They’re very excited. Mother Ani. I promise not to take much of your time today as I know dinner is soon.” 

“It’s quite alright. Shall we stroll in the gardens?” She asked as I nodded. As I mentioned before I go to her for counseling as she is the wisest person I’ve ever met in my entire life. Her wisdom comes from true experience unlike most men in the Catholic Church. We began walking towards the gardens so that we may talk in absolute privacy. I need her advice on my thoughts of going to Russia. 

“Mother Ani. What have you heard about Russia?” Halting at my question as I expected her reaction. Shocked and in confusion. 

“Why are you asking?” Sighing at her question as we entered the archway into the garden. 

“My cousin Catherine has married the Emperor of Russia and I’m quite concerned for her. She’s written some horrific things that have happened to her after only being married to him these past few weeks. He has punched her, killed her bear that he gifted her for their wedding, and even has multiple lovers. I know that’s very normal but that’s not exactly the way Catherine and I were raised. I think I would like to go to Russia and support her as she becomes accustomed to her new life.” 

“I say that is a very gracious thing to do for your cousin. But are you prepared to deal with the insanity of the monarch and Russian court?” I’ve heard some very bizarre things about them and I get this feeling Catherine should have some sort of noble ally. 

“I have been taught how to deal with any form of court and spoiled Monarchs. And being next in line to Govern these lands, they would not dare to lay a finger on me.They’re too busy with Sweden and if they were to kill me, Italy would align with the Swedish in order to defeat the Russians. So that’s not my concern. My only one being is to keep myself sane. Will you pray for me Mother Ani for a safe return?” We stopped as we faced each other. 

“Of course my child. When do you leave?” 

“In a few days. Mio Padre is sending me with a brand new horse and arms for self defense. Just in case he says. Needs me to stay alive if I’m to do my duty as a Grand Duchess soon.” 

“May God protect you on your journey and your aid in Russia. To think when you were baptized at Basilica di San Francesco. You would become this fair and wise over the years. You will make a beautiful Duchess of Italy.” Her words are always ones of great fulfillment. Always positive and never false. A little overconfident but there’s nothing wrong with having a little confidence in yourself. As long as you can control it without coming off as conceited. 

~~

The best gift to bring when arriving at a palace that you're staying for a few weeks is a vast variety of different wines. As a gift I’ve brought wine that has been sitting and aging beautiful for almost sixty years. Both sweet and bitter red wines that as I’ve said, have aged beautifully. 

I decided to ride up to the Royal Palace on horseback in order to make an impression on the Emperor when he greets me. Besides if I sit in that carriage another minute my legs and bottom will hate me for the rest of my life. 

Leading my carriage (which had my maid Fernanda inside) to see that the front yard of the palace was empty. They must be hunting or in the palace working on running the Empire. Pulling the reigns of my horse as we entered the entryway of the palace into the courtyard. Catherine was standing at the entrance as she looked radiant but yet somewhat good. We were practically sisters till I began my schooling of politics. 

Climbing down off my horse as she walked towards me as we both bowed to each other. Which left us giggling at each other to then give each other a hug. I have missed my dear cousin/sister and oldest friend in my life! 

“My dear Catherine, it is lovely to see you before me. And an Empress! Last time I saw you we were reading Shakesphere on our boat around Sardinia!” I cheered as we linked arms for us to walk inside the palace. 

“I’m glad you have arrived at my new home. Sadly..it is not a home sweet home. Not yet at least.” She commented as I nodded. 

“I’ve read in your latest letter and from a few reliable sources. I’m not quite sure how the hell you are managing all of this.” I’m finally able to show my true colors in front of Catherine as I must be proper in front of the family, advisers, and so on and so forth. But with Catherine. It is nothing but honesty and true colors. 

“The women of court?” Asking her I could feel her cringe. 

“Simple minded with their heads filled with emptiness.” We began walking up the stairs as my servant and others carried my things up the stairs. 

“Most of the women in court are filled with only air in their heads. Mother always said that entertaining the women of the court is next to impossible. But don’t worry. I am here and those women don’t know what I will be bringing these next few weeks.” We made it to the top of the stairs as a woman approached us. 

“Marial. This is my dear cousin Duchess Chiara! She will be placed in the room next to me and I will be telling her all our plans!” Catherine winked as she had a cheeky smile. Tell me what plans? What has she got up her sleeve? 

My room was not as big of course as I am a guest. It was a light blue room that had white flowers painted all over. The bed was very tall and extremely spacious with blue and white bedding. I think in England they would call this the Blue Room. A grand fireplace was lit that was also baby blue with gold trim. Come to think of it there was a lot of gold trim in this room which is sort of weird. 

Fernanda and those who were bringing my trucks came into my room as she took around my guest room. I took off my riding hat to throw on the bed as Fernanda sat down on one of the guest chairs. 

“It’s very modern. But I miss our home.” I nodded as I began unbuttoning my riding coat. 

“So do I already. We remembered to pack Padres guns right?” Asking her as she looked over from the chair. 

“Yes. I believe they’re bringing them up now.” She pointed towards the door as the rest of my servant brought in my trunks of different forms of weaponry. My fencing sword, regular sword, muskets, rifles, and pistols. I’m going to hunt some sort of wild beast that lives in this mad land and bring it home as a trinket. A Siberian Tiger would be a very nice trinket to bring home for la famiglia. 

Catherine came into the room with her maid in a very powerful march. As if she had something extremely important to tell me. AS in a life or death situation that couldn’t wait to be told.  

“We have much to discuss before dinner tonight.” Looking at Fernanda who excused herself. I’ll catch her up on the gossip later.  

“Now. I’m glad you decided to come and visit me. I have exciting news that I could use your help desperately with.” She pulled me over to the chairs as her servant stood next to her.

“I’m staging a coup d'état and in dire need of your help.” Not what I was expecting to hear in honesty. A coup? To think last year she was so excited to come to Italy and watch La Serva Padrona. And now a coup? 

“I umm..mamma mia a coup? Are you quite sure about this Catherine? I’d rather not see you dead. We have too much fun together.” 

“Which is why I have you. You’ve been studying how to rule a land and how to take the necessary steps..

“Catherine. I’ve been raised and tutored in Governing a land to be a Duchess not an Empress.” They’re very different in a weird way..wait why am I making excuses! But I should meet the Emperor to see why she’s forming a Coup and if he’s not as bad as I thought, maybe talk her out of it. Gossip from the court isn’t always trustworthy, obviously. 

“Let me experience at least one night with your husband..not sexually of course because that’s disgusting. I sadly can’t be seen helping stage a completely different country's coup. Might make a bad reputation for me.  But if it is as bad as everyone is saying. I’m in.” She nodded in my response as a small boy came into our room. 

“The Emperor requested your presence.” He told Catherine as she rolled her eyes. 

“Get yourself ready for dinner Chiara and make sure you take a drink of something. You’ll definitely need it.” Alcohol? Should’ve brought a few barrels of wine just in case. I’ve never had vodka and I know these Russians drink alcohol as if it was coming from their mothers tit. 

~~~

I’ve decided to pull out the big dress tonight as to make an impression on her entire court. The Duchess is here and she’s not meant to be tampered with! My brand new bright red dress that had white trills and designs all across it. I wore the royal sash that was given to me by King Ivrea Spoleto which was pearl white. My hair was of course up (even though it hurts my head a little bit) with pearls wrapping around my mountain of hairstyles. I truly don’t approve of it due to the fact that it takes too long to put up. 

“Do I look ready to impress an entire court of Russians.” Looking into the mirror one last time as my chocolate hair looked delectable. 

“From what I’ve seen going up and down the stairs of this place. You look absolutely stunning.” Fernanda commented as I smiled at her. 

“Oh! You need your knife!” Fernanda commented as I placed my right leg up on the end of my bed as she got into the bottom of my trunk. My grandfather's hunting knife that was given to him by the Queen of Chad when he first took reign. It was a beautiful sycamore that swirled at the base, the blade was a beautiful silver that shines everytime you display it. Even after all these years it looks stunning and deadly. Fernanda allowed me to put on the knife holster around my thigh then placed the knife in its holder. 

“Wish me luck for dinner. And I wish you the best of luck with chatting with the servants tonight for dinner. I’ll sneak you some desserts if we have anything that’s a pastry.” Winking at her as she nodded. 

Walking out of my room as I opened my fan as I waited for Catherine to come out of her room. I think Fernanda tied my corset a little too tight but not the first time this has happened. Though I’d rather be wearing pants and my button ups. Which will be what I wear when I’m running around the palace. Catherine came out of her room in a beautiful white, pink, and red dress that really made her pure white skin shine. Not to mention her blonde hair shined brightly. 

“Are you ready for the show?” She asked as we began walking down the stairs. 

“Not quite. But I did sneak a glass of wine into my room so my body is not as tense.” We made it down the bottom of the stairs. 

“So who is the biggest ass kisser of the Emperor? There’s always one.” 

“His name is Grigor Dymov. He kisses the Emperor's ass so much that he allows his own wife to be his whore.” 

“The second hand man married to the Emperors would be whore. If we are to do this I’m assuming we’re going after his right hand man? No. A much more subtle approach will be safer. Not that I’ve made my decision on whether to help, but I'd like to at least like to know your plan of action.”

“We’re first going after Count Orlov who has an understanding of the state of Russia. He’s a modern man who reads all of the famous authors in Europe.”

“I’m assuming he’s in the inner circle then?” Walking down the long hallway then stopping in front of the double doorway. 

“Yes. We're here. Just put on a fake smile and we’ll be just fine.” 

The doors opened and a wave of heat hit my skin. A mixture of alcohol and what smells like fish hit my nose as I wanted to just go back to my room. But I have to do this and need the impression in order to make my decision.

My fan helped me cool down tremendously as I was looking around at The Emperor's Court. To my right there were some women watching butterflies flying around her in a complete state of awe! They’re butterflies! Oh my goodness it is a show! There of course was dancing in the middle of the room that looked a little unfamiliar. I have to remind myself that I’m not at home and in a completely different country. 

Catherine handed me a glass of the clear liquid which is what I’m assuming is Vodka. Lifting my head back as It burned down my entire throat as I shook my head. 

“Heavens Catherine!” I laughed as she giggled. 

“Definitely helps.” She commented as we began walking further into the room then approaching the women with the butterflies. 

“Wow.” Catherine put on this extreme different face and even attitude before me which impressed me. 

“I am training them.” The women told us as she began coughing and gagging right in front of us. Holding her hand out to cough out two butterflies! What! 

“They do not all make the journey to a new land. Oh and who is this lovely woman.” She asked Catherine as I tried to not scream in horror. 

“This is my cousin Duchess Chiara of Italy. This is Aunt Elizbeth of Russia.” We bowed at each other as we sat down on one of the couches that was facing the fireplace. Which of course was absolutely grande with a large elk head hanging above it. 

“Let us talk of how you are.” She even had a butterfly drawn on her face! Talk about obsessions. 

“I’m quite well. Note my smiling face! My cousin has come to visit me for these next few weeks and I couldn’t be happier.” Smiling as I began looking around the room. Now where is this fat old man that she married and killed her bear! And who also punched her in the stomach. 

“I do! Has Emperor Peter also had something to do with this?” 

“He has been sweet.” 

“Oh. At heart, that is him. You know, as a young boy, Peter would run to his mother, holding aloft a picture he’d drawn or a boat fashioned from leaves, his eyes and words begging for approbation for love. And she would level a gaze at him and hold him in it, and he would fall silent and go so still. And then tears would run from his eyes, and his whole body would begin shaking uncontrollably, and urine would pool at his feet...it was a curious phenomenon.” Catherine and I shared the same facial expression as Elizabeth finished her story to us about Peter. So obviously he wasn’t an old man as I thought and was just a grown child who can’t stand the thought of someone not loving him. Have I made the correct character judgment through his own Aunt? Yes. 

“Why would she do that?” Catherine asked as I was also intrigued. 

“Everyone has their thing. Hers was cruelty. So I’m asking for some forgiveness, some empathy, from one I can tell is filled with both.” So he’s just a messed up King with mamma and papa issues. Quite ordinary in the monarchs. We began watching Elizabeth playing with her butterflies as a servant offered me a tray of tiny glasses of vodka. Taking one, drinking it then placing it back on the tray. A snap came from Elizabeth as I noticed a butterfly then landed on her finger.

“That is incredible.” I commented as she looked at me. 

“Indeed.” Elizabeth went into her own world as Catherine moved herself towards me. 

“Ready to meet him?” She asked as I shook my head. 

“Non..Non Catherine.” Grabbing my hand for us to start walking towards him. Pushing past all the dancers as I stood a few inches behind her. 

“Good evening husband!” Her husband was with another man as I looked down to see he’s in a skirt? They both turned towards her as he had no interest in speaking to us. 

“Empress.” He took a sip of his wine as his eyes drifted away from us. Why is he wearing a skirt? 

“You look marvelous! And your skirt, it is very pretty.” Why is Catherine kissing her own husband's ass? What woman needs to kiss her own husband's ass! He turned towards us as he flashed himself. Luckily it was all covered. 

“Thanks. It also allows one’s cock to swing free in the air. It’s marvelous. Old Madam Bolzoi whipped it up.” 

“It’s genius. I apologize if I have been sour face lately. I had my blood in, and you know how that goes..Rrrr.” An excuse that is older than time itself. But usually works because men think they're always being over dramatic during our blood. When in reality they are just horrid creatures. 

“Oh, right. I see. Well that explains much.” 

“But I feel much restored.” I haven’t seen this much ass kissing since Peter was kissing Jesus’ ass. 

“Who the hell are you?” His eyes drifted towards me as I took a step forward. 

“My dear husband is my cousin Duchess Chiara of Italy.” 

“Emperor.” Bowing in front of him as I then held up myself strong and ready to take on this madman.

“It is truly an honor to be invited here to stay in your breath taking palace. I bring gifts from my home being a beautiful batch of sweet and bitter red wines. In gratitude for letting me stay in your home.” Turning towards the door as about six barrels of wine entered the room as everyone began cheering. 

“I hope you enjoy them as a sign of peace from Italy.” Smiling as I knew Catherine would enjoy that little show. Have to make sure the Emperor doesn’t see me as a threat and the goal was achieved. 

“God you are stunning. Grigor doesn’t she make your cock hard?” My eyes widened at his statement as all I could do was just stand there. 

“Extremely.” He shook his head as I wanted to shoot him. Back home if I was to be talked to like this, the men would be beating the life out of him. I promise you that’s exactly how that happens. My sister was once insulted by an Austrian diplomat..and let’s just say he ended up floating in the Adriatic sea the next morning. 

“Tell me, great Emperor. What is the nature of this lively banquet? I've yet to catch up with the issues of Russia.” Everytime I open my mouth up to him, I can feel my skin twisting in regret and my tongue wanting to stop waggling. 

“We are honoring some of our wounded who finally won a battle for us against Sweden. Poor fucking guys.” Catherine and I turned our heads to see them in the corner of the room. 

“No eyes that one. To never see a naked women or a deer in full fucking fight again. Still, he may fuck ugly women and be happy now.” I’ve never wanted to slap someone so hard in the face! 

“Huzzah!” Catherine cheered as she looked completely uncomftorable. 

“Let us dance!” Swinging Catherine onto the dance floor as I took a few steps back into the crowd. Grigor I believe his name stood closely beside me as I noticed he was looking at me. 

“My apologies Duchess. I did not mean anything by what I said towards you.” Stopping the waving of my fan to face him. 

“The right hand man of the Emperor yes?” Asking him as we faced each other. 

“Grigor Dymov at your service.” He bowed as I turned off my fake smile. 

“I have no service for someone like you. The Emperor's right hand man who kisses his ass so much that shit must be stuck in your ears. I would pity you but being married to the Emporers would be whore. Now that is just..sad. Excuse me.” Walking away from him as I turned my head slightly to see that he was in utter shock.

We walked into the dinning room after the so called dance that her dellusionaly husband made her do as if they were drunk. Catherine and I entered the dining room as The Emperor kicked some sort of General out of his chair as he then moved Elizabeth out of her seat down one more. 

“The fat ass gladly gave up his seat. As no Duchess shall be seating with the court members. Greedy fucks.” Peter laughed as I smiled at him. What a rude bastard. But not completely wrong about the people of court. 

“Thank you Emperor.” Sitting down as one of the servants pushed my chair in. There were three glasses that sat in front of me at the table. One was filled with wine, another water, then finally a massive one filled with vodka. 

A dish appeared at me that looked like some sort of dumpling dish with a side of red..pasty soup? Grabbing my spoon as I poked it as it was meat? Beets? Both? Dipping my spoon into the soup as it tasted..well. The beets were very spiced with a hint of vinegar. The meat was especially spiced but has a sweet after taste. Interesting. 

From what I gathered about the Emporer. He’s literally a child that requires all the attention and love from every interaction he has with a person. Which doesn’t come as a surprise due to the fact that the Duke in Sardinia acted just like him, but he ended up jumping into the sea as he learned no one truly loved him. So once Peter realizes that no one truly loves him, maybe he’ll jump into the mouth of a Tiger. 

“Tell me Dear. I hope you’re here to bring Catherine happiness. And not here to start trouble between the both of them.” Her Aunt Elizabeth asked me as I took a sip of my water. 

“Well. When I received her letter about what happened between them..the bear and the punching. I care about her as if she was my own sister. All I’m here for is her happiness.” A butterfly landed on my nose which made her giggle. 

“They see a good soul in you and love it. I hope that you feel welcomed to our home, and it was a good idea bringing wine as a gift. Peter loves his alcohol.” She giggled as I looked down to my nose so watch the butterfly crawl around the tip of it. 

“Bring in those Swedish heads!” What? Is that code for a dessert? A servant took away my plate of food that I didn’t even finish yet as I noticed a tray was coming in that had hair on it? 

“We will eat dessert under their beady gaze!” Peter giggled as a tray was placed in front of me that..had a Swedish head on it..

God please forgive me.

My stomach turned into knots as I felt the little dinner I had was making its way back up through my throat. Catherine and I looked at each other in disgust as I wanted to run from the room, get on my horse and ride home. Now I see..A coup sounds like a wonderful idea. 

The pudding or whatever it was looked delicious but..I can’t..The vomit went into my mouth but I swallowed it back down then drinking my entire glass of water. Just breath Chiara and it will be almost over. 

“You rude fucker!” Peter yelled as he lifted his head up to look at his face. Standing up as he began digging his finger into the head. 

“Everyone! Poke their fucking eyes out!” He looked so proud of himself! Everyone excluding Catherine and I just sat there as the sound of squishing and eyeballs falling onto the trays filled my heads. 

“If you don’t he’ll kill you.” She whispered standing up with the man's head. Doing the sign of the cross as I stood up to lift his head. 

“Mi Dispiace. Possa Dio avere pietà della tua anima.” Catherine turned her head as I felt my eyes watering. A single tear fell as I dug my fingers into the first eye. The squishing, blood beginning to drip down my arm as the first eye popped out. 

“HUZZAH! DEATH TO THE SWEDISH!” Peter yelled as everyone cheered, drinking their vodka and smashing the glasses onto the floor. Dropping the head onto the tray as everyone began leaving the dining room. My right hand was covered in blood as my toes curled up in my heels from the sight. 

The dry blood on my hands was something I couldn’t stop looking at. It’s not that I’ve never seen blood before in my life..but when it comes from..a soldier who probably didn’t even want to fight..I hope that God is merciful to them. They needed to be buried and given a chance to enter the gates of Heaven. 

I couldn’t move for..I’m not quite sure how long at this point. Long enough that the servants came into the dinning room to start cleaning up. A woman with a large sack began dropping them into a burlap sack. 

“What will you do with them?” Asking the women as she looked up at me. 

“Burn them.” No..no. They do not deserve to be burned. Catherine came into the room as I stood up and wanted to scream. 

“I’m a Catholic...you’re an Orthodox..we both know their souls can not be saved..but they deserve some sort of burial. Is there a priest in this wretched palace?” She looked upon the dining room then walked over to the servant and then over to me. 

“Let them gather the heads and we’ll go speak to the Bishop.” The servant handed us the sack of heads as we began carrying them down the hall as she led me to the Bishops room. It was much heavier than I thought it would be. Never thought I would be thinking a bag of decapitated heads would be heavy! Knocking on the door as he flung it open in annoyance of being distrubed. 

“We need you to give these a Christian burial.” SHe ordered as I opened the bag so he could see the horrors of war. 

“I can only do a whole body.” He was about to shut the door but I believe the faces that were displayed on Catherines and my face weren't going to take no as an answer. I will send a rider to the Vatican if I have to in order for them to have some sort of entering the gates of heaven. 

“I could bless them.” The Bishop told us as I nodded in acceptance of the deal. 

A pound of thunder rang out as the heads were gently placed into the hole in the ground. Hard cold rain poured down upon us for Catherine and I to hold hands. We watched as the dirt was beginning to pile on top of their heads. I grabbed my rosary that I wore around my neck for my fingers to hold my cross. The Bishop went on reading from the bible as I softly spoke my own prayer. 

“Il Signore ti benedica e ti mantenga, mostrarti la sua faccia e abbi pietà di te. Volse lo sguardo verso di te e ti dava pace. Il Signore ti benedica…..Amen.” Finishing my prayer for the Bishop finished his prayer as he left Catherine and I out in the rain. 

“I want to rip the crown off his head myself.” Blurting out as Catherine turned her heads towards me. 

“A Coup d'état..sounds like a magnificent plan..”

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Casual moths - chapter eight

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Chapter eight - secrets and labels

The heat is sweltering and Angel has to wipe the sweat off of his eyebrows every few minutes as he mounts yet another shelf on the walls of the flower shop.

He and Coco have been working on getting the shop back up for about 2 and a half weeks now. The windows are back in place, the shelves are almost all set up and most of the walls have received a fresh coat of paint. All that’s left to do is the big centre-wall, the one behind the counter that people see first thing as they enter the building. 

Back before the incident, that wall was painted a light blue colour, nothing overly exciting or eye-catching. Angel thinks that needs to change. Callie is no ordinary women and this shop should reflect that. A girl who’s overcome so many adversities and so many hardships, she deserves a masterpiece. Even if it’s just a drawing on a wall. He’s already got an idea on what to put there, all he needs now is some paint — and some time.

“ We good for today? “ Coco grumbles as he places a cigarette between his teeth ad lights it which earns him a smack on the head from Angel. “ What? “ 

“ Don’t smoke in here. Place is supposed to smell like flowers, not tobacco. “ 

Angel knows by the look on Coco’s face, there’s something more he wants to say. It’s probably some teasing comment about Angel being whipped or something. Though Coco doesn’t say the words in the end. Just shakes his head with a smirk and puts the cigarette back out. “ Whatever you say, man. “ 

Callie probably wouldn’t mind him smoking but Angel does. For no other reason than the fact that the place really does smell like flowers. Even though Callie has them all stored in her garage and works from there right now, the store still smells of peonies and lilies and roses. Maybe, Angel thinks, it’s a scent so strong it’s soaked into the walls and taken over. Or maybe, maybe it’s just wishful thinking because the scent of flowers is also the scent that follows Callie around — and he loves that scent. 

“ I’m gonna get some paint for the wall tomorrow. You free to — “ 

Though Angel doesn’t get to finish the sentence as the ringing of his phone interrupts him. He’s almost embarrassed to admit it to himself but when he catches Callie’s name on the display, his heart does a silly little jump. He’s never felt this way before and it’s both absolutely terrifying and incredibly exciting.

“ Hey, you. “ 

“ Angel “ 

She only says his name. She only says one single word but Angel immediately knows that something isn’t right. There’s no affection in her voice, no joy or warmth. There’s fear and he hates that.

“ What’s wrong? “ 

Coco’s head snaps towards Angel as those words tumble from his lips, eyes sending him a silent question. 

“ I — I was on the way to drop Daisy off at my mother’s place, I was just about 2 blocks away from the house and EZ escorted me almost all the way here so don’t be mad at him. “ 

“ Callie I don’t give a shit about EZ right now, what’s going on? “ 

“ Travis car is following me around and I don’t know what to do. “ 

This guy is really pushing his luck. Just thinking about that ugly silver car slowly creeping along and following his girls, makes Angel’s blood boil to a dangerous degree. 

“ Where are you? “ 

“ Um — on main street, almost by the ice cream shop. “ 

“ Okay. Listen, you’re just a few seconds from my dad’s shop. Go there, I’ll let him know you girls are coming and to meet you outside. Do not leave until I’m there. You hear me? “ 

Callie doesn’t say anything but he can hear her sniffle through the phone.

“ Babe? You’ll be safe there, I promise. “ 

“ I know. I know, I trust you. “ 

To hear that, it means everything. No one’s ever put a lot of trust in Angel. At least not until he found a family in the club and even then, he knows Bish isn’t 100% convinced of his loyalty. 

“ Good. I’ll see you in a bit. Stay safe! “ 

It’s not something he tacks at the end of his sentence out of courtesy. Not this time. 

“ Everything alright, man? “ Coco asks, eyebrows raised in question.

“ Nah. Nothing’s alright. You good to lock up here? I need to teach someone a lesson. “ 

“ Sure. “ 

“ Thanks man. For everything. “ 

He really means it. A friend like Coco, weird and ridiculous as he can be, is worth so much in a world like this.

Angel grabs his keys and rushes out the door towards his bike, while simultaneously dialling his dad’s number. For once in his life, he prays that time is on his side.

Callie’s car is parked in front of his dad’s butcher shop and Angel feels his heart expand in relieve. It’s quite ironic, isn’t it? How someone can become so important to you in such a short time that their happiness and their wellbeing directly impact your own.

As he steps into the shop, he hears giggling coming from the back. It’s a sound he will never get tired of. Daisy and Callie laughing in harmony, creating the most lovely melody. 

Angel Reyes never spent a lot of time thinking about his own death. Living life like the one he does, it’s something that’s always kind of looming over you but if you focus on it for too long it becomes a heavy burden on your shoulder. So he tries to ignore it mostly. But listening to his girls laugh, he hopes that whenever it’s his time to go, this is what he gets to hear before the end. Because this is the most wonderful sound to him.

“ Hello? “ 

Angel doesn’t receive an answer though as he follows the laughter he is met with the sight of his girls sitting on the couch of his father’s living room. He never knew, never would’ve guessed, that a sight like this was something he wanted to see. And yet, this feels weirdly monumental. Angel is almost sure this is one of the moments that, in retrospect, will be one of the important ones.

“ Angel! “ Daisy’s little voice calls out to him. At least it seems like she’s unaware of the strange mood, of the fear and the frustrations washing through him and Callie. 

“ Hey, princess. You girls are having a good time, huh ?” 

Daisy nods her head enthusiastically, making her curls bounce “so much fun. “

“ Your dad told us some stories about you. “ Callie elaborates.

Felipe sits in the recliner, a content smile visible from underneath his moustache. If he didn’t know him so well, Angel wouldn’t have noticed, alas he does know him well and notices the glint in his father’s eyes right away. Felipe is not happy with the situation. In fact, Angel is sure he’s not happy with the fact that he’s still involved with Callie and in relation, with little Daisy. In his father’s eyes, he’s sure, he will never be good enough for these girls. And truth be told, he probably isn’t. Though for his own sanity, and for Callie, he needs to let himself believe in the fact that he can be enough. That he can be the man Callie thinks he is. The man Daisy thinks he is.

Maybe for once in his life, Angel Reyes can be the hero of his own story.

“ Whatever he told you, it’s not true.” 

“ Only good things “ Felipe scoffs from his place on the recliner. 

“ Ah, I’m sure about that, pop. “ 

He walks over to Callie, places a soft kiss on her head. Her hair smells like heat and flowers and summer. Just like the shop, Callie seems to carry around te perpetual smell of blooming flowers. 

“ You good, mamí? “ 

“ I’m fine. “ 

“ Daisy?” 

“ She’s fine too. Don’t think she really realised something was wrong. “ 

Sometimes Angel wishes he could be a kid again. Just to feel the lightness that comes with it. The feeling of being unbothered by life. The innocence. 

“ Okay good. Did he follow you here? Did you see where he went? “ 

“ I don’t know, I — “ 

Though Callie doesn’t get to finish her sentence as the bell above the door signals a customer stepping into the store. Felipe gets up with a grunt and shuffles towards the front of the store. Whatever the customer says, it doesn’t sound all the way through to the back but just a moment later, Angel can hear his dad speak up loud and clear.

“ Well I am sorry, she’s not here. “ 

And it’s then, that Angel knows who just stepped in. Callie knows it too, he can see her eyes fill with a fear that he never wants to see ever again. It shakes him to his bones, it breaks his heart. Whoever puts it there, he needs to go.

Recognition flashes in the man’s face as Angel steps up next to his dad behind the counter. Travis looks rough. Black circles rim his bloodshot eyes. His shaggy hair hangs in greasy strands down his head and he looks like he hasn’t shaved his patchy beard in a while.

“ There a problem here? “ 

Felipe is just about to speak up when Travis interrupts him. 

“ I um — I’m looking for my girlfriend, actually. We had a fight and she ran off. Saw her come in here. I wanna know where she is. “ 

Angel can feel red hot anger bubbling inside him, taking over. He feels his heart beating faster, wrath causing his ears to ring and his troath to grow a knot.

Though he knows he should keep calm and collected and face this obstacle with a clear mind, that’s not who he is.

In the blink of an eye, he’s got the guy pinned to the wall. Though Travis doesn’t look scared, he just looks — slightly inconvenienced. Like this is just a blip on his grand plan. A tiny hurdle he will have to overcome. Angel won’t let that happen though. If this dude thinks he can mess with Angel’s girlfriend he’s got a storm coming.

“ She’s not your girlfriend and she doesn’t wanna see you. I know it’s you who trashed her place and I know you’ve been stalking here for a while now. I’m only going to say this once. This shit stops now! You don’t follow her anymore, don’t look at her, don’t even think about her or Daisy anymore. If I find out you’re still bothering her, I won’t be so nice. I’ll put a goddamn bullet straight between your beady little weasel eyes. You understand that? “ 

Travis stays silent.

“ I said, do you understand that? “ 

At that, he nods. Though Angel is anything but convinced. His eyes are empty, there’s neither fear nor understanding. Nothing. 

“ Now get the fuck outta here. I don’t give second chances, just so you know. “ 

The door fasl closed behind Travis and Angel lets out a big sigh. Not one of relief, one of frustration. As he glances up at his dad, he can see judgement. He should be used to it, it’s always there. But something about it irks him. He’s not wrong. Not this time!

“ What? “ 

“ I didn’t say anything! “ 

“ Nah but you want to. So come on, say it. “ 

“ Angel —” 

“ You still don’t think I am good enough, right? That’s what this is, isn’t it? You think I’m gonna mess things up for her and Daisy. “ 

“ I didn’t say that.” 

“ Nah, but you thought it. You don’t have to say it to mean it. “ 

“ Stop putting words in my mouth!” 

“ I’m not doing shit. You just can’t hide it from me. I know how it is.” 

Angel Reyes is prone to breaking his own heart. Sometimes his head is so loud and it tells him all the wrong things. Like how his dad will never be as proud of him as he is of EZ. How that is mostly his own fault. Like how his mom would be utterly devastated by the person he’s become. Sometimes the things that are not said, those that play in your own head, are far more heartbreaking and terrifying than the truth. Sometimes the demons you create yourself are the one that gonna eat you whole. 

Pushing past his dad he steps back into the room, seeing Daisy cuddle up to her mother. It’s a sight he’ll never grow tired of, he’s sure of that. His own little piece of heaven. Something soft and warm and happy. Not tainted by his part nor the demons of his present. Just the girls. Just home. A family that chose him. That stands beside him. 

“ Everything alright? “ Callie asks. There’s still fear lingering in her eyes where love should be but for Daisy’s sake, she’s trying to stay calm and not show it. Angel sees though, he always does.

“ Yeah. Everything’s good. Let me take you girls home. “ 

“ Will you stay? “ 

A family that chooses him. That wants him around.

“ Sure.”

“ It’s a nice day out, let me give you some steaks to grill. “ Felipe speaks up and Angel wonders if he feels even a spark of guilt. If this is him trying. 

“ Oh that would be lovely, thank you Felipe. “ 

Callie follows his father back into the shop as Angel plops down on the couch besides Daisy who looks up at him with big beautiful eyes shining with a glimmer of michieve. 

“Hey Princess, you good ?” 

“ Yup. I missed you. “ 

He’s not going to admit it but that sends his heart soaring.

“ We just saw each other last night. I tucked you in, remember?“

“ That’s very long. I missed you a lot. “ 

“ Yeah? “ 

“ Mmh. “

“ I missed you too, kid. “ 

And he realises then, that that’s not even a lie.

“ Does your daddy still have some emenems? “ 

“ Some what?” 

“ Emenems. The crispy ones. “ 

“ Oh, M&Ms. I dunno. You think I should check? “ Angel replies, a smirk on his lips and an eyebrow raised in question.

Daisy nods her head enthusiastically making her hair bounce. 

“ Alright, you wait here and I’ll sneak into the shop to see if I can find some. “ 

 By the smile gracing her face, Angel knows he’s doing something right. And maybe, if he can make her smile, he ain’t such a bad guy after all.

The door leading to the shop is opened slightly and just as Angel is about to step in, he catches a part of a conversation between his father and Callie.

“ Why are you apologizing? “ Felipe says and places a few steaks in a plastic bag.

“ Because I am getting you involved now too. I never meant for that to happen. I didn’t want Angel to have to deal with this either. I just — you are good people. You shouldn’t have to deal with my problems. They’re mine to fix. “ 

If Callie thinks, even for just a second, that Angel isn’t willing to fight her fights for her, she is absolutely mistaken. 

“ What are you saying, Callie?” 

“ Oh I just — Angel is such a wonderful guy and I don’t want him to have to deal with my shit. Sorry, my stuff. I don’t want you guys to be pulled into this and be inconvenienced or get in trouble. “ 

Angel hears his Father’s low chuckle at those words.

“ You know Angel is part of an MC right? You’re scared of getting him into trouble? “ 

“ I do. When I started — “ she sighs “ — things with Angel, I was very aware of who he is. Or at least of the club and what comes with the territory. I might not know the details but I am no fool and neither am I that naive. I knew what I was signing up for. I am afraid he just now realises what he got into when he chose to give me the time of day. I come with a lot of baggage. I’m scared of putting more weight onto him. “ 

Those words hit Angel at the core of his heart. The fact that she even as much as entertains that though is insane to him. There’s so much weight on him that pulls him down and threatens to drown him in this ocean of regret he’s forged himself. Callie though, she’s the one thing keeping him afloat. The one thing lifting his head from beneath the water. 

“ You know, “ Felipe exclaims “ us Reyes men have big egos. We are hot-headed and stubborn, all three of us. Thing is, we pick our fights and we pick them well. Because those are fought for the people we love. And how could anyone ever regret that?” 

“ You think so? “ 

“ I know so, Mija! I was not always a good father to my boys, especially to Angel. But I do hope that I raised him to be loving and brave and to protect the ones he loves. I know he thinks that I think less of him than of EZ. I know he thinks I am not proud. I love my sons, both of them. Equally. Angel was just — easier. EZ demanded attention and guidance. Angel was kind of independent from a young age so I failed to realise the moment when he did need help and guidance and me. That anger and resentment, that has kept him guarded and shut off from people. That is the fight I picked. It’s easier to let him resent me than to explain my own insecurities and shortcoming to him. I am proud of him though, he’s got a good heart, a soft one too. He thinks I don’t want him around you because I don’t think he deserves you. That’s ridiculous. I just know my son, and I know that my actions have turned him bitter and have put insecurities in his head that make him self sabotage. I’m not worried he’s gonna break your heart, I am worried my mistakes lead to him breaking his own heart. But to see you together, it gives me hope. So let him fight for it. For you. That’s what comes with being a part of this family. “ 

It’s like a punch straight into his guts. Though their relationship is strained, Angel feels a massive wave of guilt wash over him. He doesn’t want his dad to feel responsible for his issues. Though a lot probably doesn’t stem from the all-consuming, perpetual sense of being second best to EZ, many of Angel’s insecurities are lies and whispers his mind conjures when life gets chaotic. And that, for once, is not something he can blame on his dad.

“ He’s so amazing, Felipe. He’s warm and kind and goofy. He makes me smile like no other he — he steps up to be a guiding force in Daisy’s life. If nothing else, you and your wife showed him how to love someone. And that means a whole bunch in a world like this. “ 

It does. It really does.

“ Angel! Emenems, please. “ 

It’s like he’s stuck in a moment then, glued to the floor and yet he feels this magnetic force dragging him away. Pulled in both directions. Ultimately though, Daisy wins over. That conversation he’s heard, that was not meant for him. Secrets spilt out and hearts opened and none of it was meant for him to witness. Yet he did and Angel doesn’t think he’s able to forget that anytime soon.

“ Sorry corazon, no more m&ms “.

Daisy shrugs her shoulders casually. “ That’s okay. Can you sit with me? I don’t wanna be alone. “ 

And quite honestly, Angel doesn’t wanna be alone either.

The drive to Callie’s house is not exactly awkward but there’s a tension there, palpable in the air and yet neither of them can really put their finger on it. It’s like you know it’S there but you can’t name it or describe it and so you stay silent for a lack of anything to say. How to you talk about something you don’t even know ?

“ Do you — um “ Callie starts “ do you think he’s got the message? “ 

Angel glances towards her then lifts his hand from the stearing wheel and reaches for hers. 

“ I don’t know, I’ll be there though. If the fucker decides to come back, I’ll be there. “ 

“ Language. “ 

“ Oh fuck, sorry. “ 

“ Angel! “ 

She giggles at his antics and, if anything, that is so worth it. 

“ I heard you talking to my dad. “ 

Callie swallows audibly. 

“ You did? “ 

“ Mh. Querida, I don’t want you to think that you’re a burden to me. I made a choice to let myself enjoy what we have and to uh —  ah shit I am bad at this. “ 

“ Nah you’re good. Go on. “

“ I knew this thing we have was gonna be scary and unfamiliar and new. But I was willing to overcome that and to let myself — fall. I chose to let my guard down and that doesn’t change just because your own life ain’t all butterflies and rainbows. This is something now and your fights are my fights and my fights are yours. We’re in this shit together now. It’s what we choose. Willingly. “ 

“ So many quarters in the swear jar. “ 

“ Ah that’s what you take from this ? “ Angel laughs and tickles Callie’s side “ I’m pouring my black little heart out to you and this is what I get ? “ 

Callie leans over the middle, lips dangerously close to his ear. So close he can feel her hot breath on his skin. “ Oh I’ll repay you once Daisy is a asleep, don’t worry. “ And the hand previously locked with hers, softly squeezes her thigh at those words.

“ Hey uh — can I ask you something? “ 

“ Sure, “ Angel replies.

“ I know this is very high school and everything. But I uh — I would like to put a label on us. I just feel like the way we tiptoe around it is kinda annoying. “ 

“ You askin’ me to be your official boyfriend? “

“ Do you want to be? “ 

“ I dunno, Callie. The least you could do is make me a card. With glitter glue and all that stuff. “ 

“ Stop making fun of me! “ she demands between laughs.

“ Not making fun of you. NEVER! “ 

“ You are. “

“ Nah. Nah. Listen, I would love to be your boyfriend. If that means you are my girl. “ he says then glances towards Daisy in the backseat, patiently playing with her barbie doll “ my girls.” 

“ Angel Reyes, “ Callie answers and places a kiss on his cheek “ we’ve been your girls from the moment we met. “ 

[purplesurveys]

1087

survey by tigerfan1205

Name 5 people that are very important to you. Other than my dad, mom, and Angela, I can’t think of anyone else. Andi’s a very close friend but they’re not necessarily I’d-take-a-bullet-for-them levels yet.

Do you like eating chocolate covered cherries or strawberries? I don’t like fruits, so no. I like chocolate-covered unhealthy stuff though, hahah.

What does your 9th text say in your outbox? Ughhhh I remember this tab being in my old cellphones but I can’t quite remember if this is referring to texts I’ve sent, or my drafts. Anyway, my phone doesn’t store text drafts and I can no longer recall my 9th last sent text.

Ever had a really scary dream? Tell me about it. I’ve had loads of nightmares but my least favorites have always been the ones where someone I love is shot and they had to pass away in my arms. Out of all my scary dreams, those are the ones that send me crying in my sleep/as soon as I wake up.

Where is the coolest place you've been on vacation? Vigan was great because it really felt like visiting a 17th-century town. Singapore and Shanghai were also fun because it felt cool going to places much richer than ours and getting to interact with technologies that we will never get to have here HAHA

Would you rather have salad or french fries for a side dish? Erm, unless the salad has spicy tuna in it, fries all the way please.

Ever been to California? Did you like it? No. Idk, it’s not the first place on my list if I am to visit the US though. Places in the East Coast and the Midwest personally appeal more to me - and I’m fully aware it’s because they’re well-known for being passionate wrestling hubs.

What's your favorite thing about the town you live in? I live right smack on the boundary between the more urban sprawl of Manila and the quieter, more peaceful and quaint mountain part of my city. It’s very easy to access either depending on what I’m in the mood for.

Do you like Mexican food? What's your favorite dish to eat? It’s great, but not my top favorite cuisine. My favorite dishes would have to be fajitas and chimichangas.

Favorite kind of pizza is? Quattro formaggi all the wayyyy. You’ll never see me ordering anything else.

Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? If so, how long have you been dating? No.

Any brothers or sisters? Do they make you mad? I have one of each. My sister will sometimes piss me off, but it dies down quick. My brother did something unforgivable to me two years ago so that’s how long I have been constantly mad at him.

Are you nosy? Eh, sometimes? For the most part I know my place though. I let people share the amount they’re willing to, and very rarely do I try to pry.

Ever been to a bar? What was it like? Sure, had my fair share of favorites too when going out was still a normal thing. For me, bars are the best if I’m with the right mix of people. If I’m in a crowd I’m not necessarily close with, it can definitely dampen the experience as I will only be feeling awkward. The people in the bar will sometimes be a factor too – I will most likely feel annoyed if I’m somewhere that’s clearly populated by high schoolers or college freshies as they can get super rambunctious and loud.

Are you old enough to drink? Yes, have been for the last 4 (almost 5) years.

What's your favorite kind of flower? I enjoy looking at peonies.

Would you rather have pasta or chicken? Right now, probs chicken - preferably chicken wings because that sounds the most fucking yummmmmm rn. We’ve been having pasta a bit too much at home so it would’t hurt to skip it for now.

Have you ever dated someone, but made them not tell anyone about it? Yeah. Gabie and I got back together in our final months of high school. We were about to graduate and it was crucial we kept our record clean so that the school won’t strip us of our diploma and prohibit us from marching (it was Catholic school, sooo homophobia and stuff). Because of that, we had to keep it secret for about a month and a half. As soon as I got home from the ceremony and my family dinner, I shared the news on social media. So I didn’t exactly make her keep it secret - it was a mutual understanding.

What's the meanest thing you have done to a friend? I honestly can’t recall a time i deliberately set out to be an ass to someone I considered a friend. The one thing I can recall was accidentally misgendering Andi when I was still getting used to their pronouns, but I didn’t do it on purpose.

Have you ever kissed anybody with the name starting with a C or R? No. Those are my initials though, ha.

Why did you and your last ex break up? She wasn’t ready, she wasn’t down for commitment, and she felt suffocated having only been in a relationship throughout her late teen and early adult years. She really made herself sound like such a victim and she made it sound like commitment is the biggest sin, and so I blamed myself a lot during the first few months of our breakup; but I’ve since made a conscious effort to turn my mindset around and convince myself that I’m not at fault. Bye gaslighters.

Have you ever had a really bad fight with a best friend? Angela and I only had petty fights and our last one was in like 5th grade. Gab and I got into heavy arguments, but only when we were in a relationship and never as friends.

Do you like spaghetti? It’s okay. I like other types of pasta better.

Which color: orange or red? Red.

Do you know any songs by Katy Perry? Do you like her music? She’s...popular lmao, so yeah I know a good number of her songs. She’s in the middle for me; some songs I really enjoy, like E.T., Dark Horse, and Thinking of You (a personal fave); and there are some that didn’t grow on me as much, like Wide Awake and that awful Christmas song she recently released.

Ever had a near death experience? I suppose. My almost-car crash is the event I always cite.

Which number: 5 or 19? 19, for no reason whatsoever.

What's your favorite song by Taylor Swift? Why is that your favorite? Wildest Dreams; it meant a lot to me on a personal level for a time; right now it’s kinda doing it again for me. From her newest album, I really like dorothea also because it’s a bit relevant to my life at the moment.

Pick one: apples or oranges? I guess oranges. I don’t like fruits but I’m more likely to take a liking to orange-flavored stuff, like juice or chewy candies.

Do you know anybody named George or Bob? I don’t think so.

What do you like better, being single or in a relationship? Why is that? I like being in a relationship; commitment comes easy to me and I love looking out for a significant other, supporting them in their dreams, and generally just having someone to focus on, build a future with, and spoil. Being single hasn’t been bad and I guess I won’t mind if I never found someone; but in the grand scheme of things it’s really nice to be able to love someone.

Are you close with your mother? Not really but our relationship isn’t as strained as it used to be.

Have you ever dated someone named Kyle? Nope.

If you still go to school, who sits next to you in your fifth period? I can’t remember the last time I had five classes in a day, lol.

Who was the last person to ring your doorbell/knock on your door? I think it was my mom, earlier this morning when she arrived back home from her daily jog.

Does anything on you itch right now? Yeah actually; the opposite elbow got itchy just now.

If the last person you kissed came to your house now, what would you say? “Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

If your ex called you crying, what would it most likely be about? I have no clue, and she would never do that so I literally can’t imagine even a hypothetical reason for this. It has to be a super serious situation, likeeeeeee idk, maybe a death. *knocks on wood aggressively*

Who was the best kisser out of all the people you have kissed? I’ve only kissed one person, so can’t compare.

Name everyone you have texted today. This media guy celebrating his birthday today so I had to ask him for his details so we could send him a gift, as well as the contact person for the cake shop that we got in touch with to order said gift for the birthday celebrant.

Who was the last person you spoke to for over 5 minutes over the telephone? Maybe my grandma when she called a few months ago.

How many times have you went to the bathroom today? Around three times total, I think.

Who do you currently live with? My dad, mom, Nina, my brother, Kimi, and Cooper.

What do you like better: sour or sweet candy? Sweeeeeeet. No sour anything for me, thanks.

Have you ever been told that you have an annoying laugh? No but I hope this isn’t an actual thing people say to other people. They can think others’ laugh is annoying, but I think it’s one of those things that you can just try to get over and is unnecessary to raise lol.

[amycuscarrcw]

╰ °✧ that’s AMYCUS CARROW and HE seems to look a lot like JASON RALPH. according to ministry files, the PUREBLOOD used to attend HOGWARTS and be in SLYTHERIN. now, they’re 25 and is an UNSPEAKABLE. A childlike rage and a childlike loneliness, the hushed quiet of hospital wards, a fine line between madness and genius, the sickly sweet smell of rot , a slowly unravelling thread, the endless ticking of a clock, are the best way to describe them. it doesn’t say in their file, but word around the street is that they’re a DEATH EATER. @mmprophet

introduction.

basics.

NAME: Amycus Cyrus Carrow AGE: 25 BIRTHDAY: January 13th. (Capricorn.) PRONOUNS: he/his BLOOD STATUS: Pureblood. CAREER: Unspeakable. Employed by the Department of Mysteries, on the surface Amycus largely concerns himself with the studies of Thought, Space and Time. Considering the black mark on his schooling records and unsociable demeanour, it’s almost a miracle that the Ministry had ever hired him - in this matter it’s highly likely that strings were pulled to ease his way in and nobody really knows what they do down there in the Department of Mysteries. Most of the ministry employees are just grateful they don’t have to encounter him very often. EDUCATION: Hogwarts WAND:  Pine, 11 3/4″, Dragon Heartstring. PATRONUS: Amycus cannot, and is unlikely to ever, form a corporeal patronus. If he could it would be a Raven. Frequently associated with loss and ill omens, Ravens surface throughout many mythologies spreading prophecy and insight, carrying the messages of gods. There’s a mysterious quality to the raven, they can be charismatic when they require something of you and excellent at hiding themselves when they don’t want to be seen. Greedy and vain. Curious and yearning for freedom. They are observers who only step into the light when it is to their advantage. BOGGART:  It’s the smell that comes first — damp earth, rotting leaves, the slimy new growth of those old woods, milky earthworms writing through freshly turned soil. It’s thick and cloying, suffocating in the dark. Then the weight of it, soft at first, spilling across his skin. Each shovel full growing heavier and heavier as he sinks in, deeper and deeper into the earth, in amidst the roots of the trees that gleam white like bone. It’s hard to see in the dark but he knows who it is who holds the shovel, who takes his time to slowly fill the grave that Amycus’s own clawing fingers can’t seem to catch a grip on, to climb out of. His father still cuts the imposing figure he had when Amycus was just a child. This is what happens to blood traitors. Even after all this time, their father’s shadow looms large over him. more ABOUT.

summary. 

+ The Carrows were sickly children, forever in and out of St. Mungo’s with some mysterious illness or the other for most of their childhood. Whilst their father had seemed largely indifferent to their suffering, their mother had been utterly enamoured with it (too enamoured, some might think.) Attention had always been scarce for Peony after her marriage, one almost couldn’t blame her for enjoying the sympathy that her poorly children brought to her. (Though they couldn’t certainly blame her for the poison she slipped into their cups.) + The twins were mismatching bookends; Alecto overflowing with every kind of feeling and Amycus devoid of any of it, but they were all the company each other had growing up. They relied on each other, in their own way, an understanding born through a tumultuous childhood. + They were expelled from Hogwarts in a scandalous fashion in their Sixth year after a long string of unproven accidents culminated in the pair being caught red-handed (literally) in one of their games. Their wands were broken, they were expelled, and it cost a great deal of social capital on the family name to get the decision overturned and to allow them to be packed off to Durmstrang for the rest of their education.  + Amycus had loathed Durmstrang. Sometimes he thinks he can still feel the cold of that place in his bones. Never mistaken as an overly sociable person, his isolation there had only served to further entrench him in his sour dislike of social situations. 

+ He now works in the Department of Mysteries and when spotted out and about he frequently seems distracted and out of sorts.  + There are very few people in the world that Amycus will willingly spend time with, which is why it had been so odd when he’d gone and picked up a friend, seemingly out of nowhere. One day he had been her brother, the person he’d always been, and the next he had been her brother - someone who befriended women named Lucy in the breakroom. Alecto had been deeply suspicious of the woman who wanted to be her brother’s ‘friend’ from the get-go, intent on discovering the agenda behind it, a suspicion that had only grown further the more that Amycus grew attached. When his friend had abruptly disappeared, in the manner that a great many people were disappearing these days, only to be found dead some weeks later and half her family with her, it had seemed a little too coincidental for Amycus to believe that Alecto had nothing to do with it. He hasn’t confirmed his suspicions, but there’s definitely an edge to his interactions with his sister lately. 

personality traits.

+ Intelligent  - Amycus has always lived in a world of his own. What he lacks in emotional awareness and a distinct inability to decipher what other people want or expect from him, he has always equalled in cleverness. He absorbs information like a sponge and retains it with an almost eerie degree of accuracy. Books were his solace growing up and he seems to always have one on hand. + Innovative - An adaptive thinker with a particular talent for problem solving, Amycus’s booksmarts transfer into practical application. He is good at coming up with new ways of applying what he has learnt and adapting his knowledge to fit the situation. + Focused - There is a laser precision to Amycus’s focus when he becomes interested in something. Dissuading him from a task once he has set his mind to it is nigh on impossible, to the point where most people who have come to know him understand that it is better to just let him get on with it. + Meticulous - A perfectionist at heart, Amycus is fastidious when it comes to attention to detail. He is clinical in his approach to life, sharp and incisive and never willing to let the smallest of details go. + Composed - For such an agitated mind, filled with nervous tics and idiosyncrasies, Amycus has a rarely disturbed composure. While the world rages around him he remains calm and measured. It had once been his greatest asset, the ability to remain steady in his path when the rest of the world unhinged itself, but these days his composure seems to fail him more and more often and in a world that requires restraint, he wonders where his own continues to disappear to. - Shy -  Amycus always struggled with socialisation. He tries, of course, with the same uneasy yearning he’s never been able to shake that demands people acknowledge his gifts, but he has always been odd, unsettling to the people around him. He might blame it on his mother, for his isolated childhood, or his sister who he had learned quickly would not be an easy companion, or his father’s cowering temper, or perhaps on his peers at Hogwarts and later Durmstrang who had been unnerved by him and his strange mannerisms, but the truth of it all is that there is no one to blame except for himself. Amycus does not socialise well and has learned, by and large, to keep to himself to avoid the censure that often follows his attempts to reach out to others. - Impressionable - People have always been fond of considering him weak-willed, but Amycus has simply always been easily influenced. He’d wondered once if it was the apathy that fills him that makes it so, that he simply didn’t feel enough to be decisive, but Lucy had disproven that theory. She had filled his head with thoughts that were so entirely incompatible with the Death Eater agenda that he sometimes still hears echoes of them, ghosts of a person he might have been if she’d survived to make it so. Luckily he’s always had his sister to give him a solid shove back into line when his thoughts veer into dangerous territory. - Apathetic - He has always wondered if perhaps there is simply something wrong with him, in the pathways of his brain or in it’s chemistry. Over the years he has observed the highest highs and lowest lows of emotion, he has seen it in his fellow Death Eaters and his peers at school, in his own family, and yet he feels so rarely that sometimes he wonders if he might be imagining it. At least, that was the case before Lucy - he still can’t comprehend the ruin she’d wrought on his emotional landscape but he does know it’s infinitely more unstable than it had once been. He refuses to acknowledge the feelings she’d made him aware of, or the way in which the heartbreak she’d introduced into his life by rejection and then her death had tipped him over the edge, but he clings to the old comfort of apathy like pretending might just return him back to what he’d been before she’d come into his life. - Ruthless - Capable of monstrous things if they are put into his path or demanded of him, Amycus is largely a passive creature. He has never had a problem with what society considers distasteful or abhorrent and has little in the way of self-restraint to keep him from simply slicing through the obstacles that present themselves in his path. He struggles with the idleness of life after the war was won, of the return of rigid social norms and the pressures of living up to pureblood societal rules. - Explosive - The rarely sighted and often questioned presence of Amycus Carrow’s temper is something that people don’t give much consideration. He has always been considered a cold person, apathetic and even, not given to strong emotions, if any at all. But every so often if the motivation is presented Amycus’s detachment gives way to something else entirely: blinding and overwhelming and violent, his temper has been known to explode with ugly consequences. It happened once at school and the repercussions were something that have stained their family name and reputation to this day. It is fortunate, perhaps, that the Carrows have never cared much for an untainted image.

bio.

(trigger warning: inexplicit mentions of abuse, violence, death.)

Amycus Carrow had been born with the taste of decay in his mouth.

His family tree rotted long before his birth, a once grand family besieged by the gossip of their peers and the ever-mounting debt that crept in like the shadow of the old woods that had overrun their family estate. It swas no surprise that he had turned out so twisted and wrong, given his circumstances. Amycus was a symptom of a much greater disease.

Weaned on poison instead of mother’s milk, shepherded in and out of hospital wings since his infancy, it was easy to believe such a bony little creature would not last the harsh winters of the moors, but survive he did. Amycus was clever, or so they’d soon learn, behind his solemn, eerie stares and an unceasing discomfort within his own skin lay a mind riddled with black holes and infinite constellations. His father’s library was his most trusted companion inside the walls of their quiet home, tucked into corners where his sister’s rages couldn’t rattle him with only books and the contents of his own journals to entertain him.

From those books he discovered the threat the Muggle and their more insidious cousin, the Mudblood, presented to wizarding kind; he learned of the sanctity of the blood that flowed through his veins and how to recognise the taste of Belladonna and Angel’s Trumpet and Baneberry on his tongue disguised by his morning pumpkin juice. (‘You must drink every last drop, my darlings.’) The Carrow home was full of secrets, but the woods at their door buried the darkest.

People didn’t like him very much - he’d been an offputting child and at Hogwarts that proved doubly so. Away from his mother’s care he grew stronger and taller but no less odd, no less curious. They didn’t like the way his speech stumbled and faltered and how frustrated his inability to communicate with others made him, they didn’t like the steady, unblinking malevolence in his stare. It bothered him: his teacher’s wariness and his peers mockery, their inability to see the multitude of worlds trapped in his head.

But he was clever and his experiments (suggestions whispered into his ear from his wrathful sister) never left tangible evidence behind. The girl who fell down the stairs of the Astronomy tower, or the boy whose skin had bubbled and burned for days after he’d dropped the wrong potions ingredient into his cauldron. He never meant to get caught; after hours in the midst of a snowstorm the feeling had blindsided him and her blood had been so vivid against the snow — as it turned out, she would be one more stain upon their family name.

There was no evidence it hadn’t been an accident, his parents had insisted, but Dumbledore had not agreed. The board of governors had been called, but not even an old name like Carrow could budge that decision.

The day that Amycus and Alecto were expelled from Hogwarts, the broken halves of his wand clutched in his hand and his father’s fingers digging into the bones of his shoulder, was the day that Amycus understood just how deep the threat of muggleborns and their sympathisers ran. An appeal had given him a new wand and a new school, but even cold and remote Durmstrang could not smother the burning grudge that had arisen within him.

What Dumbledore stole from him, the Dark Lord would return three-fold in the years to come. Amycus would allow himself to be branded just like his father, a mark of his allegiance, in exchange for opportunity, for the influence to get him inside the door of the Department of Mysteries, and in those mysteries he has found purpose. Oversight is unheard of behind that door: there is nobody to dissuade his interests or curb his tastes and so long as he is careful - well, it’s almost as if you could get away with murder down there.

[artisticestheticreads]

ROXANNE: Chapter Three

A/N: Haiiiiiii, Loves. So,I know my third chapter is late but I been sick while working some crazy, long hours and was depressed all at the same time BUT I feel better now. So, here is chapter three.

Warning: Mentions about death, weed and drug use, sexual innuendos and more. 

Song Recommendation: I listened to Hey There, Lonely Girl by Eddie Holman.

Word Count: 4884

*Gun shot noises*

Erik was at the gun range, getting target practice trying to kill time before his “appointment”. He took his ear guards and shades off while pressing the button to bring the wounded paper closer to him. He placed the paper between his hands and smirked at the shots he made into a cross. He took the sheet placing on the ground beside him and adding a new sheet to the mix. He put his head phones back on with his shades, played his music and continued.

He soon found himself at a cemetery with peonies in hand. He walked up the deep hill; to a graveside with a tomb stone molded into the ground, two sat by one another.He stood with his hands in front of his pelvis and look down to see the names, Annie Marie Stevens and N’Jobu Udaku. He cleared his throat to stop the tears and said “uh, hey, ma. Hey, pop. I’m here for our monthly talk. Y’know like when I was younger. Well, life been coo lately and what not but, uh, I’m just trying to still figure out life I guess.” He looked around and all the tombstones and sighed. “What is the point of leaving life? We just all gonna end up here anyways. When we are long gone, is there actually heaven and hell or are we just done for? Do we become something or someone else or do out corpse just rot and decay away?” He shook his hand, stating “I still don’t get this shit, y’all. Life’s hard especially with y’all not being here. I mean y’all here but just... just not physically. There was so much y’all didn’t get to teach me. Like love and shit. I just wished we all had more time. Y’know I always wonder how life would be if y’all were alive, man. Would we be happy? Would I still be an angry ass person? Maybe not since ma was into self love and meditating.” 

He smiled at the thought of his family sitting on the ground, meditating early in the morning. He began thinking about Roxanne too out of no where and uttered out “I met a girl. Her name is Roxanne. This woman is bad and beautiful too. Her voice is like, is like honey drizzling onto some toast. Her eyes, they got so much passion and fire into them. Her smile is just like freshly cleaned diamonds and she just so beautiful. She strong too, y’all. She reminds me of…” He looked at his mom’s grave and sighed again, missing her more and more.

 Erik placed the flowers down on their graves and kissed his fingers to place by their names. “I hope I make y’all proud. See ya next month.” He began walking away when he noticed a golden miniature motorcycle that sat on a grave plot; something told him to stop and read the headstone. “To, a brother who made others smile. To, a son who warmed his mother’s heart. To, a friend who made people calm and to, a man who lived his best life. Here lies…” He stopped and knelt down when he read the last part. He read it again while holding his hands together. “Here lies, D’Angelo Fosters.” He shook his head while holding his hand to the grave and closed his eyes, mentally saying his hi and goodbye.

                                                     ______

Roxanne was in her kitchen, in a wife beater, no bra and booty shorts cooking lunch for herself and Raymond. She had her hair wrapped in a towel to dry it as her hips moved to her reggae playlist. She was in the middle of making ox tails, with dirty rice and corn bread. She was winding her hips to the beat of Bonafide Love by Beenie Man. She was feeling herself as she turned the music up louder.

“I don’t why. Ooooh whyyyy”, she sung with her hands out and wooden spoon tossing in the air. “Aye, sis. I’m ba-“, Raymond said but stopped when he saw his sister vibing. He chuckled as he gently put the bag on the ground. He slowly walked behind her and began dancing like her until she turned around. “Bumbaclaat! Ray, you scared the shit outta me”, she said holding onto her chest to catch her breath.

“You was gettin’ it. girl. I was like aight then”, he said chuckling as she turned around. “You idiot. Anyways, how was the gym”, she asked, stirring the rice. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and said “ah, man. It was whatever. Just like every other day. Of course, niggas was crowding up in there. Tryna pretend to be healthy and shit knowing damn well they ass gonna quit that shit in mid February.” Roxanne couldn’t help but laugh at that. Ray went over to the fridge to grab a water bottle and chugged it in one sip, shooting the bottle in the recycling bag. “So, how was the race since I can’t go up there?”

“Fine, 12 almost caught me but you know me. Gotta thank Erik for that.” Raymond looked to her with a rose brow and asked “Erik, Erik Stevens is back?” Roxxx nodded and said “yep and breathing too.” Ray slightly smirked and said “Damn, I ain’t see E in a minute. How he doing?” Roxxx checked the rice. “Good, I guess. He pretty cool. Just like bro said.”

“Invite him over”, he said as he took a spoon, dipping to the rice and eating a chunk before tossing it in the sink. Roxxx was mixing the cornbread batter as she spoke. “RayRay, he probably busy. Probably in some pussy right now.” Ray Ray smacked his lips looking her up and down. “Then he can come for dinner, Roxxx. C’mon I ain’t seen him in years. If you love me, you’ll invite him.” She looked at him and down and said “fine, I will try and invite him for dinner. No promises he will be here though.” RayRay kissed her cheek and ran to his room, leaving Roxxx with a smile.

                                                    _______

“Uh shit, daddy. I can feel you in my gut. Fuck”, said the light skin girl, nude and behind in the air. Erik held his fist into her lower back as they fucked to DaBaby in the background. He bit on his lip as he watched her pussy stretch around his dick, creaming all over. Yes, her pussy was good but he would get turned off when she ran. He would have to hold her in place.

All of a sudden, the ding from his phone caught his attention. He tilted to his right to see a text from ‘Roxxx’ with emojis of a chocolate and a yam . He began thinking about her so much at that moment. From her eyes, her frame to when she touched his marks. The way she smelled even made his dick hard. He smacked the girl’s ass, pretending it was Roxanne. He began pounding into her pussy as he thought about Roxanne. The way she took control in every situation got him about to explode all over. He muted out the girl’s moans and heard Roxanne’s voice in his head. He pounded in her harder while holding her hips close to him. He then released into the condom in one pump.

Minutes later, he locked up the house and lied in bed, freshly showered. He grabbed his phone and began dialing the number; he then heard “hey, baby boy. What’s up?” Erik chuckled and said “you like calling me that huh?”

“Maybe, maybe not. Anyways what you doing?” He sat up in bed, back against the headboard and said “shit nothing. Why? You wanna see me or something?” He chuckled when he heard her say “boy, hush.” He smirked as he rubbed his abs. “Well, I was wondering what you were doing tonight. You remember D’Angelo’s little brother right?”

“Ray Ray? Yeah, I ain’t seen him since graduation.”

“Yeah, well he wants to see you and invite you for dinner and whatnot. If you can’t come, I understan-“.

“Nah, I can come. What y’all plan on having”, he asked sitting up, feet planted on the floor. “I was thinking about making some pot roast, with potatoes and greens and rolls. Ray Ray wanted a cheesecake so of course I made one for later. Then I made some iced tea and what not.” The line got so quiet until Roxxx asked “you still there?”

“So when we getting married”, he said making Roxxx laugh. “Boy, I’ll send you the address.” He soon hoped in the shower again and threw on a crisp black tee, jeans and of course some all black Timberlands. He finished the look with his father’s chain and his matching watch. He looked in the fridge and grabbed a bottle of chilled Jack Daniels before heading out; he placed the address in the GPS and was off.

Erik soon pulled up to the matcha toned home and saw the garage door open. Once he parked in front of the home, he grabbed his gift and looked around as he got out. Coming from the garage was some Doja Cat playing; Streets to be more specific. As he made his way to the front door, he saw a pair of female legs under a car with her right knee bent. The car was lifted up as she worked. Erik walked up to her right side, biting his lip. He can see her print under her shorts and thick thighs slightly jiggling.

“Are you gonna say hello or are you gonna keep checking me out”, Roxanne said catching him off guard. He chuckled and asked “can ya blame me?” She rolled out carefully and looked up to him with her brown eyes. Erik liked seeing her natural beauty where he can see her beauty marks and apple cheeks more clearly with her hair pulled up in a high ponytail. Roxanne sat up on her elbows with a slight chuckle and said “do I have something on my face again?” He rolled his eyes with a smirk and helped her up. She wiped her hands on the towel beside her, clean and dusted her legs off. He looked down at her frame then back to her eyes.

“So, what you doing there”, Erik asked as he watched her. She looked back to the car and let it down before opening the hood and propping it open. “Eh, just doing a monthly check up for RayRay. He had some gas leaking so I fixed that up. Had to clean out the AC vent so the air got a lot cooler.” She bent down over the edge slightly with her flash light as Erik checked her out more. Her cheeks looked so nice and plump enough to bite and never let go. “Now, I’m just checking the alternator and making sure the car won’t overheat easily.”

“How you know so much about cars”, he asked once she turned around and wiped her hands again. She leaned against the car and explained. “My pops. Used to do a lot of work on cars, detailing and shit. He used to tell me ‘baby gyal, ya will neva need a man for any ting. Make dem need you.’ ” She smiled at the memory and Erik saw that twinkle again. “Is he still around or nah?” She was about to speak until they heard “aye, Roxy. Have you seen”, Raymond asked as he walked to the garage. His eyes grew big as he walked up to the pair and looked Erik up and down. Erik smirked and said “damn you got big, Ray.”

Raymond gave him a brotherly hug and said “welcome back, bruh.” Erik patted his back as Roxanne stood back watching. Erik looked at Ray and said “damn, you gotta be at least-.”

“16.”

“Yeah, ain’t seen you since you was like three almost. How Momma Dukes doing?”

“She’s good. I mean she in the hospital again and is in a home to be watched more but she doing better.” Erik looked to Roxanne then back at him. “Why she there?”

Roxanne looked at Ray and saw the hurt in his face as he looked at her. She rubbed his back and looked to Erik. “Ma losing her memory. Between me working every so often and baby boy in school, we couldn’t watch her all the time. She had slipped and fell apparently and was unconscious for hours until I got back from work years ago. She was out cold for like hours then when we took her to the hospital, we found out she had dementia.”

Erik looked to the pair and shook his head while saying “I’m sorry to hear that.” RayRay looked to him and smiled a little before he saw the bottle in Erik’s hand. “Is that for us?” Roxxx smacked the back of his head and he rubbed it. “Damn, bruh. I was kidding, sis.” Roxanne folded her arms and said “Ima kid my foot up ya ass. Go take the bottle and put in the fridge and clean up for dinner.”

“You ain’t the boss of me.”

“I promised ma I will be and I ain’t breaking my promise any time soon. Now go.” Erik chuckled as he passed the bottle to him and watched him walk away. “Mean ass”, Ray muttered under his breath and Roxxx threw a basketball at his back. “He must forgot I can hear anything.”

Erik followed her into the house and removed his shoes before placing them at the front door. Roxanne looked back at him and said “I see you was raised right.” He smiled and sat on the couch watching her in the kitchen as he got a text from the last jump off. Daddy, I miss that dick, he read in his head. He looked over at Roxanne as she grabbed the mitts and removed the pot roast, making his stomach grumble more. He made his way over and leaned against the corner as she stirred the greens. “You got it smelling good in here”, he complimented. She thanked him with a grin. “Who taught you how to cook?”

“Well, it was a combination of ma and my mom. Taught me all my life. I would just watch ‘em and all”. Erik looked around to see frames of multiple people but one caught his eye more. In the photo, looked to be an younger Roxanne with two other people. One was a man with soften ginger head of hair with medium brown skin. He wore a polo shirt with jeans and flip flops; the bottom was cuffed. The other person was a woman with skin like Roxanne and long braids down her back. She wore a long flow sundress that showed her frame; her and Roxanne could easily pass for twins.

Roxanne took noticed and said “those are my folks” as she drizzled juices over the roast. Erik looked back to her, with a wondering mind. He wondered if he should ask or not; he left it be.

Once they finished eating, Roxanne and Erik sat on her couch as Ray sat in his room. Roxanne came back from her room with a pencil case. She sat beside Erik as he poured the chilled dark liquor into the glasses. She opened the case to reveal a snack size baggie if weed, plenty of blunts and a R shaped lighter. She began rolling as she leaned her back against the couch. Erik took a sip of his drink and watched her. The concentration she had was immaculate. “So, what was the Navy like”, she asked as she lit the thick blunt and taking a hit. Erik took another sip and said “awe well. Kinda reminded me of MIT. Niggas tryna be all big and bad and shit. We trained a lot. I bulked up and grew my hair out.” She nodded as he thought to himself.

“Where are they now?”

“Who?”

“Ya folks”.

Roxanne still was rolling her blunt when she said “back home in Jamaica. We, uh, we got separated when I was thirteen. They ain’t had their papers, some folks found out and they were gone when I came back from school.” Erik noticed how her shoulders slumped but her demeanor stayed the same. “Sorry to hear that.”

“It is was it is. Niggas were upset to see a woman with her business of owning a restaurant and a man with a car appreciation business basically. I was put up for foster care and hopped around from home to home”, she said before stopping in mid memory. She looked to her dagger as Erik sat closer and rubbed his shoulder. “When did ma take you in?”

“Took months. I was hopping from Malibu to Vegas, the ATL and every where on this hell hole. My last name changed so much but then D’Angelo reconnecting when he saw me at the mall out here. I was down the way around that time. Been through some dark times, even thought about taking my own life until I got away. I was 17 and in a real dark place. Then ma took me but wasn’t able to be released until 18; but still stayed around.”

Roxanne passed the blunt to him so he can take a hit. Erik let the air out through his nose as he asked “when was the last time you saw them?” Roxanne took a shot of her drink and said “last year. I go out there every once in a while but since ma got worst, I gotta stay back and watch RayRay.” Erik leaned his head back looking at her face as she let out some air. “I race because my mom did it.” She smiled at the memory and said “I remember when my mom and ma was actually competing one another. My mom was a biker and that’s when I fell in love with it. She was incredible. Seeing her decked out in all black leather was like inspiration for me. My pop and I used to go a lot with her. Every race, she called us her lucky charms.” Roxanne looked over at Erik’s eyes and asked “tell me about your folks.”

Erik’s demeanor changed slightly but he pulled his eyes away from hers to look at the ceiling. “They dead. My, uh, my moms was murdered in prison and my dad was murdered in our apartment. They found these deep ass marks in his chest while I was playing basketball. Not sure what happened but when I ran up to get something to drink, he was drowning in his own blood. It was everywhere. Niggas took my dad out and I never found out who. I was just like you, hopping from place to place. Some were what ever and some was bad as hell. Had one family where they adopted all kinds of kids and made us food that was worst than the food my moms had when she was locked up. I had some dark times until my last guardian took me in. Some young cat, about 32 to at the time. Taught me how to be book and street smart.”

Roxanne looked over at him then at the tv screen. “Where he at now”, she asked folding her arms. He looked to her and then where she was looking. “Died years ago. When I was in service over seas.” She closed her eyes and took a hit of the blunt again, letting the smoke out. She shook her head as she opened her eyes and handed the blunt to Erik. “Life’s a strange thing, E. We are put on this world just to get hurt, to feel then to die. Makes no fucking sense. Never will. Like seriously what is the point of living if we just gonna rot in the ground anyways.” He looked at her to see her eyes on him and nodded, agreeing.

“So, E. How come you single anyways? I mean you seem like a cool dude”. She asked folding her legs together and looking at him. “It’s simple. Never could find the one. I like being myself. I like being to myself. Like staying lowkey. I mean I fuck from time to time but that’s just fucking to me; no strings attached.”

“Same here. I mean yeah I got my crew and Ray but sometimes I just like being alone. I can think clearly with a book and some bomb ass music while smoking or drinking ya know? It’s just that when I by myself, I feel like-“

“You can breathe with focus “, he interrupted to add and looked over at her as she smiled small. They continued smoking for a while listening to old school music. “Aight, let’s see if you got good taste. Top three old school r&b artist, go,” Roxanne said before passing him the blunt. “Easy, Joe, Tyrese, and Usher,” he said all confident before she smacked his chest. “Nigga, I said old school not 90’s r&b. Just for that you get no more weed”. He kissed his lips and said “fine, muthafucka. What’s your top three?” She looked at him and said “Marvin Gaye, Eddie Holman and Donny Hathaway, boom!” Erik shook his head chuckling and said “aight, but picture this. You get high as fuck right? What will be your playlist? Top 5, any genre of music, any decade.”

“Awe damn, E. Shit. Let’s see, um, ok I got it. Yearning for Your Love by the Gap Band, Frontin’ by Pharrell, It Was A Good Day by Ice Cube, Computer Love by Zapp and Roger and Time Machine by Willow. Your turn.”

“Aight, of course we got It was a good day, Hands on the wheel by Schoolboyq, Gangstas Paradise by Coolio, Passin Me By by the Pharcyde, I wish it would rain by The Temptations and , I guess, Stairway to Heaven by the OJays”, Erik said rubbing his abs through his shirt. Roxxx took noticed, bit the corner of her lip away from before taking a deep breath. “So, Erik. About ya marks, are they everywhere?”

He looked to her to see that she was looking at the ceiling. Her legs were wide enough for him to see her mound print. She looked good enough to eat, literally. “Nah, they not.” As he looked away biting his lip, Roxanne turned her head to him. “Did they hurt?”

“Nah, well only for like a second but the more I did it, the less it hurt.” Roxanne nodded in agreement as she started to play music, rolling another blunt. She hit shuffle on her phone and The Gap band played. She placed the blunt between her lips and lit the end waiting for the spark to pop up. She placed her lighter inside the box and leaned her head back on the couch playing the air guitar with closed eyes and tapping her feet. Erik watched her as he chuckled making her look at him with a smirk; she handed the blunt to him. He noticed the scars underneath her left forearm tattoo; he counted at least twelve. He took a hit letting the smoke leave his nose. Roxanne was too busy lip syncing the lyrics to notice Erik’s glare. Roxanne was a beautiful woman who was a boss all in one. She had everything he was looking for but it was too early to mention it. They only knew each other for like a couple of weeks or so. With eyes like the glass of Jack Daniels she held in her hand. Her lips would look like two plush pillows around him and with a body like hers, she would be the only woman he fucked with. Erik always had a thing for independent women because it showed they didn’t need a man or anyone to be around so it made him feel special in a way.

  For hours, they just sat in comfortable silence, enjoying one another’s company. Roxanne was hanging off the couch with legs on the wall while Erik rested his head on her legs looking at the window, at the dark skies. “Aye, Roxxx?” She looked up at him like in slow motion and said “yeah?” His eyes fell on hers and said “we been getting fucked up all day, ma.” He smirked and she started laughing, agreeing with him. “Shit, the sun just said fuck y’all niggas, I’m going to bed”, she commented making him laugh. “Like I’m out this bitch. Y’all with the shenanigans”; they laughed again out loud enough for Ray Ray to come out. He was dress in a clean tee and sweats as he rose his brow to them. “Y’all niggas fucked up, man.” Erik and Roxxx looked at him and started laughing again.

Ray Ray rolled his eyes as he made his way to the door and he opened it, he reached out for a slender woman’s waist. Roxxx looked towards the door when she took in the faint smell of Bath & Body Works’ Japanese Cherry Blossom body spray, making her sit all the way up. The woman had icy blonde hair and medium brown skin. She wore a green tube top, jeans that hugged her curves and matching fuzzy slides. “There go my baby”, RayRay said kissing in her neck. She giggled while trying to get out of his grasps. Erik looked over at Roxanne who held a stank, irritated face; he chuckled while leaning back. RayRay looked into Erik’s face and said “Erik, this is my baby, Angelica. Angel, this is my brother, E.”

 Angel saw Erik on the couch and said “hello, Erik. I see Roxxx finally found a man instead of acting like one.” Roxanne was about to hop off the couch with her knife but was pulled back by Erik. Erik whispered in her ear low enough for the others to not hear. “Chill. We good, aight.” She looked back at him then rolled her eyes leaning forward. “And it look like ya finally got some good hair instead of that dusty crusty one you been rocking since Obama was in office the first time, huh?” Raymond chuckled but waved it off. “Sis, chill. My baby still looked good.”

“Since when has she every looked good. I’m amazed her pussy ain’t start a huge as tornado with all that hot air going in and out. More niggas ran through her than a white bitch in an all black porno gang bang.” Erik spit out his drink before covering his mouth. Angel placed her hands on her hips and said “you got jokes, huh? Well, I got one for ya. What you call a bitch that ain’t had dick since the ‘incident’?” Roxxx looked up at her with an irritated look then to Raymond. “You told her about that?” Raymond looked to her and said “nah, she probably over heard-“.

“Over heard what”; he was silent looking at Angel. Roxxx leaned forward picking up a new wrap as Erik watched. “Raymond, you need to go pack a bag. You need stay with that bitch for the week.” Roxanne began wrapping the blunt as Ray shook his head before looking to Angel, signaling her to go to the car; she went as he went to pack a bag and leave, slamming the door shut. Roxanne’s lit the blunt between her lips and lied back. Erik wondered what they all meant but decided it wasn’t his place. “You good, Roxxx”, he asked with a rose brow. She looked to him and said “I’m good. Just-“, she stopped and blinked away a tear he couldn’t see on the other side of her face. She stood up and handed him the blunt before saying “you can stay the night if ya want. We been drinking all day and I can’t let anyone get hurt drinking and driving out here.” He nodded and said “I’m down” She took a deep breath, clearing her throat and said “I’ll go get you some blankets and shit. I- uh- just washed so you good.” She smirked a little before straightening her face again and going to fetch the new sheets.

 Hours later, Erik was lying on the couch with his tall frame knocked out as Hey There Lonely Girl by Eddie Holman played from her room. Roxanne looked up to the ceiling in deep thought, right arm behind her head and left head arm resting against her stomach. Her lips were tight as she bit on her bottom one, nostrils flaring and eyes red, soaked with tears and brows stitched in anger.

~

I hope y’all enjoyed this chapter because the next would definitely make ya emotions stir up. 

*𝕋𝔸𝔾𝔾𝔼𝔻 𝕃𝕆𝕍𝔼𝕊*

@muse-of-mbaku @im5ftbutmythroat66 @chaneajoyyy @melanin-samii @theunsweetenedtruth @doux-ciel @unicornluvin8765 @vikkidc @wakandantings @thadelightfulone @mzamethystp @simbiann @tropicalsun10 @babydoll756​ @notoriouslynay @vminax @quinsly @pinkdemolition @quietstorm-73​ @chaoticcashfancroissant @bugngiz​ @chocolatedippedinhoney​ @yafavcocoa @lostgalaxies​ @mbakuwife @youreadthatright​ @babygotl01292003 @acceptyourselfloveyourself @madamslayyy​ @yoyolovesbucky​ @theogbadbitch @wakanda-inspired @bitchacho25 @toniilaney @wakandascrystal​ @girlsneedlovingfanfics @raysunshine78​ @melodyofmbaku @hearteyes-for-killmonger @silenceisplatinum @thickemadame​ @shookmcgookqueen​ @heykillmongerluhme​ @fonville-designs @cutewylie @allhailqueennel @10bsatatime @nickidub718 @lildashofmelanin @allhailqueennel @amirra88 @hakunalive4eva @thickemadame​ @ghostfacekill-monger @cherrystainedlipsbaby​ @nahimjustfeelingit-writes​ @fd-writes

[unklarity]

Critical Role: Beau

“Click “keep reading” for more photos and a description of my Beau magic box! :)

Over the course of CR2, I was totally blindsided by how much I grew to love Beau, so I was both excited and nervous to make a box for her. I actually made the whole box on paper first (which I have never done before). I think that on some level, I was procrastinating because if I never started, I couldn’t screw it up. After having numerous Beau conversations with some amazing people (special thank you to @alemongrenade​, who helped me to turn my Beau feelings into real words), I was able to pin down some themes for her, but it took a while to flesh them out and really get to a point where I was comfortable with them. I ended up focusing on the difference between Beau’s perception of herself and how others perceive her, the way that perception influences her actions, and how that perception was developed.

I have a bad habit where I always feel the need to one-up myself, especially since I’m always learning new techniques and ways to do things, so I tend to want to incorporate all the things I learn into everything. With Beau, though, I wanted to keep it simple. “I’m a simple girl, simple needs,” to quote her introduction. I think Beau is very simple, on the outside, and I wanted the physical box to reflect that veneer of simplicity. Everyone always underestimates her, thinks there isn’t much more to her than a girl who has a problem with authority. So the box is plain, only decorated on the outside with the Cobalt Soul symbol, and yet the contents are varied and complex. (I love a good extended metaphor haha)

One of the reasons I struggled with Beau was her lack of concrete imagery at the beginning of the campaign. While I appreciated her simplicity from a fan standpoint, it was tough to come up with motifs to fit the box. I really wanted to reference her frustration with not being able to see in the dark and how much of a game-changer her Goggles of Night were. My first thought was a glow-in-the-dark message since I was having a hard time finding something more concrete, and even though I eventually did find a perfect pair of miniature silver goggles, I still wanted to include a glow-in-the-dark element, which ended up meshing perfectly with her jade All-Seeing Eye tattoo.

I painted the tattoo in the inside lid and added a clear, matte glow-in-the-dark paint over the top. You can see in the photo below how it looks in the light and in the dark! It’s one of my favorite parts of the box :)

Stones:

I wanted to stick to the Cobalt Soul color scheme of blues and greys as much as possible, so I wanted to use as many blue stones as I could. For a focus stone, I picked a gorgeous electric blue apatite tower. Apatite clears away guilt, confusion, apathy or negativity and helps expand one’s intellect and desire for knowledge and truth. It also represents positive use of personal power to achieve goals, encouraging you to accept yourself as you really are, and to gain greater self confidence. What I thought was interesting about this stone is that the meaning of the word Apatite relates to the Greek word 'apatao', which means 'to deceive'. Now, that’s probably due to the stone being mistaken for other minerals, but I thought it fit well with Beau not being easy to read, people thinking she’s shifty or lying even when she’s being honest, and her troubles with outwardly showing genuine emotions.

I also included a tiny Jade owl to represent wisdom, balance, perspective, and learning to be comfortable with showing your true self (and because I, too, wish Professor Thaddeus could have been Beau’s awesome owl sidekick).

The rest of the stones in the box are:

Fluorite- focus, intelligence, aids in meditation and helps with finding peace with oneself

Labradorite- transformation, becoming, being more true to who you are, help banishing fears/insecurities while enhancing faith and reliance in oneself;

Aquamarine - courage, freedom, and communication

Honey Calcite- clarity of insight/action, confidence, intellectual power

Rose quartz - forgiving oneself, learning to accept love, alleviating fear and sorrow/resentment

Blue aventurine - moving past trauma/letting go of emotional baggage, endurance, help saying what you mean, inner strength, passion/determination, gaining  control of anger and emotion, using it to help you

Hematite- grounding, cooperation (fighting in cooperation with spellcasters), fighting up close and personal (associated with martial artists), help talking your way out of situations

Tourmalated Quartz- hardness/tough exterior, help when feeling trapped/cornered. provides security when there is fear of failure, courage and self-acceptance in the learning process. Help with self sabotaging. Good for discipline and meditation. Help dealing with anger/self loathing/bitterness

Sodalite-help being less critical of oneself and help calming internal conflict

Celestite- clarity, intuition, and openness to things out of your comfort zone (also divine energy as a reference to Caduceus’ Holy Weapon spell)

And that’s it for stones!

Potions:

There are 6 potions, each labeled with a number on the bottom. The first three are in the photo below, in order from left to right:

The first potion is centered around Beau’s perception of herself, and how that’s been influenced by her interactions with others. Inside the bottle are lemon balm and basil for self hatred, peony for shame and anger, yellow carnation for disdain, heather for solitude and only being able to rely on herself/carry burdens herself, marigold for feeling like she has to constantly fight to prove herself worthy of love (“love you have to fight for”), nettle for insecurity and perceived insincerity, pine for low self worth, lotus for rebelling against authority, purple hyacinth for guilt/feeling like she has to apologize for being herself, and yellow hyacinth for comparing yourself to others/not thinking you’re special. Sealed with silver wax and a lotus flower stamp with blue pigment.

The second potion is a direct contrast to the first, dealing with other people’s perception of Beau and how she really is. There’s acorn for wisdom despite youth, sunflower for wisdom/loyalty, nutmeg for intelligence/wit, cedar for resilience and strength, pansy for thoughtfulness, thyme for loyalty, affection, attracting the good opinion of others, and courage in the face of adversity, gladiolus for strength of character, faithfulness, and honor, and dogwood for deep devotion and keeping confidence. Sealed with silver wax and a sunflower stamp with blue pigment.

The third potion represents the Cobalt Soul and what it means to Beau at different points in the campaign. At the beginning, the Soul is just another cage, someone else trying to impose their will on Beau, but as the story goes on, her goals and theirs start to line up. Dairon is the first authority figure we see give Beau a real chance while also managing to earn her respect, making the Cobalt Soul something that Beau can be a part of instead of something she’s trying to run from. In this potion we have tarragon for struggling to regain independence, chamomile for shedding outside influence, anise for using knowledge as power/to protect yourself/to get what you want, gum arabic for meditation, lilac for wisdom/memory/unlocking potential, rosemary for mental alertness/perception, violet for guarding against deception, lily for freedom and no longer feeling trapped, green tourmaline for calming the mind and increasing abilities/confidence, chrysocolla chips for empowerment and adaptability, and jasmine for appreciation, calming, and developing confidence. Sealed with silver wax and a Cobalt Soul stamp with blue pigment.

The next photo shows potions four through six, in order from left to right.:

Potion number four represents Beau’s past and how it affects her life currently. Before meeting the Mighty Nein, Beau grew up with parents who constantly tried to make her into something she wasn’t; her criminal background was a direct result of Beau rebelling against that control, and we see throughout the campaign that her intense distrust of authority figures still follows her wherever she goes. As time goes on, she does do a lot of growing up and letting go, and yet the way she was treated in the past still informs many of her present decisions and actions. In this potion, there’s lavender for ingrained distrust and problems between parent & child, dandelion for overcoming hardship, sage & cypress for grief and loss, amaranth for help recovering from trauma, black salt for being controlled/told what to be, yellow rose for betrayal, yarrow for regaining agency, mint for trying to atone for the past (Specifically, her guilt and criminal background vs. adopting Molly’s philosophy of leaving places better than you find them after his death), and barberry for freeing oneself from the power/control of another. Sealed with silver wax and a rosemary with blue pigment.

The fifth potion centers around Beau’s fears and struggles (fear of people leaving her, of not being good enough, struggle with being friendly/charismatic, being soft, struggle with presentation). There’s rue for regrets and obsessing over past mistakes, poppy for carrying a traumatic period in your life with you and letting it affect your actions, hydrangea for apparent aggression and being “bad at people,” cinquefoil for desire to be eloquent/wise/self confident, snapdragon for feeling like she has to lie because that would be better than being herself, gardenia for difficulty trusting others/letting people in, violet for importance of outward appearance (being in control of your own presentation and aesthetic and how important that is for Beau), amethyst for fear of being abandoned, garnet for help shedding guilt/sharing burdens, redeeming oneself, and struggling with responsibility (taking so many of the M9’s failures as her own personal responsibility). Sealed with silver wax and a fists stamp with blue pigment.

The sixth and final potion deals with the people around Beau and how she grows by learning lessons from others, both members of the Mighty Nein and the people they cross paths with. Just as in all the rest of the M9 boxes I’ve done so far, there are cloves for camaraderie and being improved by friends, one for each member of the group. There’s also red carnation and basil for brother-sister bonds with Caleb and Fjord, skullcap for willful commitment (found family), zinnia for remembering absent friends (Molly), sweet pea for chaos and adventure (in particular the Jester-Nott-Beau “chaos crew”), magnolia for loyalty, rose quartz for learning to accept love, and bluebell for friendship and slowly growing to be comfortable with being more truthful/open with people. Sealed with silver wax and a rosemary stamp with blue pigment.

That’s it for the potions! Next are the rest of the box’s miscellaneous contents:

So before I even got a box for Beau, I knew there had to be ball bearings in it. There are about a hundred, minus any that managed to escape while I took this picture :)

In the tiny blue pouch, there are gold coins for Beau’s role initial role as group treasurer, along with aforementioned ball bearings, a worn out old Circus flyer, and a set of  21 miniature Major Arcana tarot cards - the 22nd card, the Moon, is in my Jester box. Attached to the tie of the pouch are a silver pair of goggles with purple lenses to represent her Goggles of Night.

Also in the box are Beau’s staff, and her super secret book of important monk notes. Tucked into the book’s closure is a tiny hand-stamped coin with one of my favorite serious Beau quotes, “I don’t want us to drive each other away.”

Below are some close ups of the wax seals so you can see them better:

Thanks so much for reading! That’s it for Beau. Below are some close ups of the whole box at different angles, plus the quote I engraved on the bottom: “You are a good friend to have and a terrible enemy to make.”

I really had a great time working on Beau and I hope you love her as much as I do!

You can check my “magic boxes” tag to see the rest of my M9 boxes, or you can see them on my website at unklarity (dot) com! 

<3

[kayann9]

Into the Woods (one shot. M! Kayden X F! MC)

Kayden (Trystan) POV

One shot - M! Kayden X F! MC)

Words: 1543

Rating: M for violence. All characters belong to Pixelberry.

Just be aware, this chapter focuses on the aftermath of the wolf dying so there are some scenes that relate to this that some may find distressing. 

Tags: @parkerattano @gettingonmykneesfordamiennazario @mightyfangirlofthefandoms @rexgwapolagi @adrianadmirer​ @referencees

What a hunt indeed, though after the events of the day, I worry about who the prey really is.

“My Father killed the beast in front of her.” Alexander is angry; it is clear from his voice and his pacing. “What do I do?”

I know what I would do in this situation, Father be damned.

At my silence, he shakes his head and resumes his pacing. I almost remind him that my purpose is to keep his blood flowing and his legs in use; matters of his tyrannical family are far above my paygrade. Only, I may renege that notion where Lady Eva is concerned.

“Your Regency, with all due respect, this is an unremarkable response from your Father.”

I calm the flow of blood in my veins with some well-disguised deep breaths.

Alexander snorts a response. We both know it to be true. It had not been the first time Damon Fierro had used shock tactics to get his own way in the court; his reputation as a hardened brute had been very well earned through the years. It had become a near myth how once a severed hog head, eyeballs intact and horror on its face, had turned up on the doorstep of one of the army generals when they had refused to send extra security for Renza’s wedding. His temper tantrums usually ended in the untimely demise of some unsuspecting creature.

My jaw locks when Eva flashes into my mind; the most unsuspecting of all the creatures. Even wild animals have some self-preservation; she is too good for that. Something that concerns me incessantly.

“I know this Trystan. I just wish it were not visited on her.”

My fists curl at the mere suggestion he had no idea.

I bite my tongue; it would be very easy for me to overstep here and friends we are not. Still, his cluelessness drives me mad; of course, he knew this would happen. The precious heir to the throne, inviting very open advances onto the new court novelty. It is of no surprise to me that his Father reacted in this very way.

Alexander’s carelessness had caused a headache more than once in my life, but this was simple, wilful ignorance.

A deep breath is the only way to let go of my frustration; a lie is the only way to let go of this conversation. “I am sure Lady Eva will be well, my Lord.”

Or at least she shall be when I have done what I intend on doing once I can leave this godforsaken tent.

Alexander’s pacing stops and he gives a nod. “Yes. I am sure. She is most capable. Thank you Trystan, that will be all.”

It will perhaps be all for him but not for me.

As I leave the tent, once again trying to shrug away his utter naivety, my blood begins to boil once more. My boots seem louder than I would normally like them as they march through the dry leaves in the woods, but I do not stop their purpose. Only when I happen upon the clearing we had worked in earlier do I still.

The wolf is still there, tongue lolling from its mouth and blood soaking the ground where the arrow pierced its heart. Very brave of a man to hit a trapped target. My stomach clenches as I can only but imagine her feelings as she watched that creature fall to the ground with a dying squeal.

Damon Fierro is a sick man. One I would quite happily see end in this way too, but I have something much more visceral up my sleeve; something that makes me question my own morality but where Eva is concerned, I am happy to do what Alexander is not.

The camp clears as the sun drifts lower in the sky; the nobles getting ready for their balls away from their sleeping quarters. It is then I act. The guards leave with Damon, his tent left unattended. With the beast on my shoulder, soaking my uniform in blood, I make my way over to it and I return the favour, hoping this invites just as much distaste. He should have to clean up his own mess. He should have to face his brutish behaviour; a savage pretending to be a gentleman.

Only when I am satisfied that the scene inside his bed sheets is grisly enough, do I take my leave and clean up.

I find Eva less than an hour later, sat outside her smaller tent, playing with a wolf cub. I cannot help but smile. I want shake Alexander by the shoulders; I should have made him come and watch this. Made him see that this is the spirit you are wishing to be crushed by tyrants and snakes; a kind and gentle spirit, still with its own grit, but one that should not have had to see what it saw today. But, another part of me wants to keep this only for myself. That, I suppose, is the part of me that is most problematic. The part of me that cannot shake the masquerade ball and the question of what might have been different if in fact she had been able to go back to being a scribe.

I had arranged for blue peonies to be sent to the library the following morning.

They might even still be there.

Those flowers, probably along with any hope I had of her, are in that library dying a slow death as we speak.

“Are you going to watch me all evening or would you like to meet Valiant?” Her eyes do not leave the cub as she speaks though I can see her grin. How long had she known I was there? In fact, how long had I been there?

Still, I pay no mind to the questions I shall never have an answer to.

Whilst I sit, the wolf cub sniffs at my boots before attacking my feet. “Cute.”

“I know. He is rather spirited.” Eva’s laugh is light but troubled.

“I heard about what happened earlier. Are you-”

“He does not frighten me. He angers me. A bully who thinks that killing a defenceless creature is going to do anything but make me disgusted.” Her hand scoops up the cub and places him on her lap. “The poor little thing. He saw it all. Can you imagine if Damon had seen him? I cannot even bear to think.”

I want to grab her hand so badly that I place my own under my thigh.

“He is a cruel man.” One that I hope will enjoy his spoils of war later on in the evening. “Despair gives courage to cowards.”

“You are wise. Thank you for checking on me.”

“Always, my lady.” I mean it which frightens me more than Damon Fierro ever could. “Valiant is lucky to belong to such a genuine and caring soul. I am sure he is very grateful for your kindness.”

Slowly, she places him onto my lap and for a moment, he scurries before finally resting his paws on my chest and giving me an appraising look. I smile and pat him gently. And of course, as always, she is completely correct; had Damon seen him, it would have been another matter entirely.

“Perhaps you are changing your mind on having companions?”

The heavens seem to be repaying my cold blooded behaviour from earlier. My impression of companionship had changed when we spoke on the balcony overlooking Cordonia – not that I could ever tell her that. “Perhaps, a four-legged friend would not be so bad.”

Her sigh drifts into my ears like a melancholic tune. “You are a tough nut to crack Trystan Vescovi.” The laugh that follows is only dipped in humour. “But I shall let it be known that I am rather persistent.”

Of course, she is and once again my minds tears in half; one imbibed with duty and the other that cannot help but light up at the very thought of the possibility she may like me more than Alexander.

A scream, plus a flurry of footfalls interrupt anything I was about to say; Valiant jumps from my lap and hides behind my legs. Before I even know what I am doing, instinct kicks in and I push Eva behind me, her protests quiet in my ears as they focus on the racket.

“A beast in my tent!” My shoulders relax at the proclamation. Shouts of horror fill the camp and I cannot help but feel a slight sense of pride, no matter how petty and juvenile the whole thing is.

“What is going on?” Eva’s hand is light on my arm. I do not move it as I turn to her, the hint of a smile on my mouth.

“It is a most glorious of occasions when cowards have to face up to their behaviours, do you not agree?”

“Trystan? What did-”

I cut her off with a bow. “You should get ready for the evening’s festivities my lady. I shall attend to the commotion. I bid you a pleasant farewell.”

It is with that parting comment that I know I am in trouble – the kind of trouble that is completely worth it.

[mooberg]

Among the Statues

Any of my followers outside this fandom; I know I know I’ve been gone for a hot minute. Prepare for this to be all I post about now. It’s the Virus World Renaissance y’all!!!

Any of you in this fandom or interested in it, I’d recommend reading the first 2 chapters first. They can be found here and here. The virus world is owned and created by voiceoflarka though Horns is my boy. Created by her but you know.

Word count: 2003 does anyone still do this? I wanted to go longer but I’m out of practice

No warnings apply but I’m sure I’ll have some in future chapters

Enjoy!

Chapter 3: A Chip in the Marble

Dinner was quiet. Putting on the TV felt weird, and enough was racing through everyone’s heads to keep conversation to a minimum. It was the same old bread that had been in the fridge for almost too long, the same old meats and cheeses and whatever else Peony felt like throwing in, but it tasted odd. Not like food poisoning was a concern, but like the weight of the world was resting on eight shoulders. And only two knew what they were doing.

“So… what do we do now?” Glitch broke the silence as she looked out the window, darkness set across the campus grounds.

“We should rest.” Gamma suggested. “It’s been a day.”

“It is unlikely whoever is behind this will attack at night.” Psi added. “We will take watch anyway to avoid any altercations.”

“You and me first?” Callow pointed to Psi.

Psi nodded. “Our surveillance could use more work anyway. The rest of you, please try to sleep.”

“Gamms, you can have my bed. I’m gonna try and cat nap so I can take second watch. Horns and I can double up.” Glitch offered, earning a thankful smile from her mentor.

Despite having been woken up from some sort of sleep only hours before, most of the team was tired, and ambled off to their respective rooms. It felt weird to have someone keeping watch in their own dorm, but then again nothing in this scenario had felt normal since any of them awoke. And at the very least, in a scenario where none of them had any kind of control, at least they had this.

~~*~~

Flashes. Bursts of light. A mansion. Then a forest. A courtyard filled with people, fading to darkness. A courtyard, doors lining three of four walls, an open wrought iron archway on the fourth. A marketplace. Dozens of people within the yard, various numbers of shopping bags in hand. Then a flash of white. Then, an empty courtyard fading to black. Again. A courtyard of people, frozen in time. A picture? Or real life? Then a flash of white. Then an empty courtyard fading to black. A few more flashes, faster than he could comprehend, getting brighter and brighter until all he could see was white-

Horns awoke with a start, shooting up in bed and startling Glitch, who had been dozing next to him.

“Horns…” She mumbled groggily. “What are you doing?”

“I saw something.” He was now aware of just how hard he’d been breathing in his distressing dreams.

Glitch sat up now, intrigued. “What, like a dream?”

“Like a vision. Like a-.” He threw the blankets off him, rushing out of bed and towards the door. “Like a warning.”

Glitch was hot on his heels as he made his way to Psi’s office, light pouring through the crack in the door.

“Y’know, this is kinda creepy.”

“But also helpful in tracking down your target.”

“Yeah, yeah, sure. Still creepy.”

“Callow. Psi.” Horns burst in. “I think I saw something.”

“What’s up?” Callow asked.

“I had a vision.” Horns said, voice still panicked. “I think it’s a warning. I think something’s going to happen.”

“Describe it. Perhaps we can decipher the location.” Psi ordered.

Horns took a calming breath. “Some kind of courtyard shopping center. Old, but not old architecture, so not a historical district. Cobblestone yard and stone buildings, wrought iron gate on one side.”

Callow began typing something at that, but Horns couldn’t see the screen.

“It was pretty busy, but no one was moving. Probably somewhere else frozen- oh gods, I hope they’re okay. I hope we’re not too late-.”

“Horns, focus.” Horns was a little surprised it was Callow shushing him and not Psi as usual, but let it slide.

“I don’t really remember much else.” Horns shook his head as if trying to clear his vision. “It was all indoor shops, I guess that’s helpful?”

Callow’s typing slowed and Psi came around beside him, keying in a few more things before nodding in approval.

“Come around here.” Psi stepped back and motioned Horns forward.

“See if any of these ring a bell.” Callow scrolled through the various locations slowly, giving just enough time to take them in before moving on.

“There!” Horns exclaimed after looking through a few. “That’s it, that’s the place. That’s what I saw. We have to get there. Now. We have to go.”

“Horns, Horns.” Glitch came up beside him, hushing his erratic movements. “Take a breath. We’re going to figure this out, but you need to stay calm.”

He took a deep breath in, but the jitteriness remained. “I’m sorry, I just… I just have a really bad feeling about that place.”

“Bad how?” Callow asked. “What kind of emotion?”

“Death.”

Callow swallowed harshly. “We need to go. Now.”

“How are we going to get there?” Glitch asked. “There’s bound to be cars all over the roads, and frozen viruses on the sidewalks.”

“You know, I’ve been eyeing some pretty sweet motorcycles people have been parking on campus.” Callow offered. “We could take some of those and drive down the middle of the road.”

“We will discuss the issues behind that statement later.” Psi scolded.

“I’ve got the electrical tape and wire, but do you have screwdrivers because we’re going to need ‘em.” Glitch replied.

“We will discuss that later as well.” Psi sighed.

“I think Pe or Equo might have some.” Horns said.

“And do you have the make and model?” Glitch asked. “Because we’re going to need to look up the wiring diagram.”

“And also that.” Psi pinched the bridge of his nose.

~~*~~

Grand Meadow Market sat close to the western border of Fictory Square, making it a half hour drive from the Academy. The roaring engines of ‘borrowed’ motorcycles made conversation difficult even over the earpieces they’d all been given, but none of the team were in the mood to chat anyway. Horns’ agitated state had only gotten worse, the spiral continuing the closer they got until he was practically vibrating with anxiety. Mentally, each member of Gamma-Psi braced themselves. For what they did not know, and that only made things worse.

“We’re getting close, let’s pull over here.” Gamma suggested. “The bikes are too loud, we don’t want to alert anyone.”

“Like there’s anyone to alert.” Callow mumbled but did as ordered.

“Someone did this.” Equo argued. “The whole capital didn’t just freeze on its own.”

“What do we do if someone’s actually there?” Jolly asked with slight apprehension.

“Make sure they are not the culprit and detain them if they are.” Psi answered, heading down the street.

“Horns how ya feeling?” Peony asked.

The satyr hummed worriedly. It was more like a whine. “Not good. There’s darkness here. Real darkness. My stomach hurts. We better be ready, I’ve never… felt anything like this before.”

“Then we’d better hurry.” Gamma said. The whole team knew Horns’ premonitions never came close to this strength, and all were on edge in their own way.

On instinct, the team dodged the light of old streetlamps, jumping from shadow to shadow and around statue-esque viruses. The absurdity of doing so in a street filled with an unnatural quiet was not lost on them. Yes, there was likely a culprit behind this attack, but none of the frozen people around them were going to rat them out. Their unseeing eyes stared on at the team as they moved, footsteps lightly echoing in the quiet. Rounding a corner, the wrought iron archway that welcomed shoppers into the main courtyard of the market loomed some 15 feet above them, the cheerfulness of the greeting gaining an edge in the moonless night. Horns’ breathing picked up speed as they approached ever closer.

“Fuck.”

“Oh my gods.”

“Jolly- Jolly don’t look.”

Shards. Everywhere. Dozens of viruses reduced to pieces in but a moment. The whole team froze. Equo looked away, jaw hard set as she clenched it tight. Callow’s gaze held fast, wide-eyed and frozen himself with the magnitude of the situation. Peony had gone to Jolly, trying to shield her from the scene as the snow leopard virus looked on with a hardened expression none of them had ever witnessed before. Glitch stood frozen, looking from Jiji to their mentors, trying to decide where she was needed most as Gamma and Psi engaged in a near-silent argument. She wasn’t sure if she was even up for either. It was Horns who broke the silence, leaning back around the outer wall as he retched from the sight of it all.

“Gods, I knew it was going to be bad, but…” Horns’ breathing was heavy with the fear and shock of the situation, panic bubbling just below the surface.

“What are we supposed to do?” Jolly asked quietly. “There has to be more than a dozen viruses here.”

“Normally we would lock down the area and request assistance from more qualified individuals.” Psi said. “Seeing as they are… not available…”

“Could you close it off with vines or something?” Equo asked. “At least the main gate?”

Psi nodded at her approvingly.

“We’ll check out the surrounding area, see if whoever did this is still nearby.” Gamma instructed. “Horns, do you still have a-.”

Gamma cut herself off mid-sentence as she turned to address Horns, finding the satyr virus missing.

“Dammit Horns.” Peony sighed, no malice behind her words.

“Horns? Where’d you go? Horns?” Jolly frowned. “Doesn’t look like he’s going to respond over the comms.”

“I’ll find him.” Glitch turned toward the gate.

“No.” Gamma stopped her retreat. “Glitch it’s alright, you stay here.” She locked eyes with Psi, the two of them exchanging a nod. “I’ll find him.”

~~*~~

It didn’t take her long to find him. The park was only two blocks away, nestled in between old shops and a senior’s center. It was mostly empty, thankfully, sparing them the constant reminder of the current state of the city. He sat with his feet curled up on the old wooden bench, staring out over the darkened field.

“I’m sorry.” He spoke when she landed behind him, her wings tinkling softly an easy giveaway. “I just freaked out. I… I had to get out of there.”

“You really need to stop running away from things.” Gamma said, half-jokingly.

Horns laughed self-consciously, hearing the honesty behind the sarcasm. “I know. Maybe some day.”

“So.” She sat down on the bench next to him. “You wanna talk about it.”

“Not really.” He replied, knowing well that wasn’t an option. He sighed. “Did I cause this?”

“What, the… frozen viruses?” Gamma asked, surprised. “What on earth makes you think that?”

“I saw that courtyard in my visions right before I woke up.” He kicked his legs down from the bench, opting to lean his elbows on his knees. “Before I woke up from a spell no one else can. I don’t have any way to explain that.”

“Horns…” Gamma grappled with the right words. “For starters, you’re not nearly that powerful yet.”

Horns gave a genuine laugh. “Gee, thanks Gamms.”

“I said ‘yet’, didn’t I?”

“Sure, sure.”

“And second of all, how many times do we have to tell you you’re a good person until you start believing it?” It was mostly a rhetorical question.

“I know, I know. I just can’t shake the feeling that… I dunno, that I’m connected to this in some way.” Horns said. “I know that doesn’t make sense…”

“Doesn’t have to.” Gamma replied. “But you can use that to your advantage. You’re so much stronger than this, horns. Don’t let it break you.”

“I… okay.” Horns nodded.

“Alright now come on.” Gamma stood, pulling him to his feet with her. “The team handled the site so we’re regrouping back at the dorm. Psi’s left us a bike.”

“So there’s nothing we can do for those viruses?” Horns asked.

“We can catch the person who did this.” Gamma said. “And if you’re so closely tied to this, you’re the perfect person to do it.”

[salt-warrior]

WHEN EARTH TURNS TO ASHES

Masterlist

Chapter Eighteen: The Dawn of Human Suffering

Light snow was beginning to fall under the cover of a purple dusk, but Kai didn't feel the edging bite of cold. The five friends stood huddled together in a tight circle, humbly awaiting for the absence of the sun.

Cress had told them that the night sky would be better to summon Her because the gray realm is closer to the middle realm when the sky is dark. It all had something to do with how ghosts become more active within the cover of twilight and human fear.

A determined Cinder stood beside Kai, her slouched form shivering against her crutches. She held an old, worn envelope that contained the key to summoning the ghost of her mother. Her expression was stony and undecipherable, though Kai could feel nervous energy bouncing off of her like an electrical current.

"It's almost time," Cress observed. "We should come up with some sort of game plan for what we'll do once we summon Her."

"Wait," Thorne intruded, "won't we just summon her, burn the bracelet, and be done with her?"

"Essentially, but there are still some minor details that we might want to go over," Cress admitted, blushing as she looked at Thorne. "She might try to talk to us. She could attempt to hurt us, although I believe that we have to say the trigger words for her to be allowed to even touch us."

"It sounds like a horcrux," Kai said, earning a stare from each of his friends. "You know, in Harry Potter?"

"Anyways," Cress continued, ignoring Kai's words. "We need to be prepared for all the worst case scenarios."

"Worst case scenario, all of you run," Cinder said. "She'll stay with me, and she also won't hurt me. I only need Cress to say the magic words and then you can all leave."

"But won't she catch on fire?" Thorne asked, his voice hesitant to ask the question.

Cress shrugged her shoulders and held her head high. "We don't know; but if I do, just try to put me out fast."

A hush fell back over the group at Cress's words of bravery, but all Kai could feel was his own resolve. Kai looked at everyone huddled together, and wondered how on earth his life had gotten to this point. Less than a month ago Kai was a simple college student at business school. His best—and only—friend was Carswell Thorne. He didn't believe in ghosts. He wasn't ever at risk of dying. He wasn't in love with a girl who saying 'I love you' to could get him killed.

Kai wasn't entirely sure what his life had been leading up to. He enjoyed business school, but it wasn't his passion. Kai wanted to see things, and learn, and meet new people everyday. His father had given him all that he could offer, but Kai only wanted that which wasn't his. Kai was facing a situation that could lead to death, and all he could think of was his regret. Now was the time to redeem himself.

I could hold the entire world in my hands, Kai thought. Yet all I want is to hold Cinder. All I want is Cinder. She is the world. She is the one. She is the reason to everything, and now I know why Channary would do everything in her power to keep her safe.

"Cinder," Kai could feel his heart choking him with all the words he could not say. "I... I..." I love you.

"What Kai?" Cinder asked, tilting her head to the side. She looked so young, so beautiful. Kai felt an ache within him. His entire being was drawn to her, and he couldn't control it. The prospect of dying had his heart making a deathbed request: to kiss her. "What is it?"

Kai took a step toward Cinder. He reached his hand out towards her and placed his fingers against her frozen cheek. Her eyes widened in surprise, though she did not draw away from him. Kai took this as a good sign and brought his other hand up to her face.

Cinder regarded Kai with questioning brown eyes that made him want to write poetry. It was as if the whole world had gone silent and they were the last two humans left on earth. Blood pounded in Kai's ears, and the muted wind blew Cinder's messy hair around her face.

"Are you okay?" Cinder asked. Her eyelashes fluttered with the falling snow. Her lips were slightly parted and chapped from the cold— and Kai couldn't stop looking at them. Her uninjured hand left its crutch to rest against Kai's hand, her icy fingertips made him shiver. "Kai?"

The pull towards her was agonizingly strong. He wanted to kiss her, but he knew he couldn't. He didn't want to screw anything up. He could get them all killed, but what if they were already doomed? Someone would have to say the words, and Kai was done watching everyone else get hurt.

Kai leaned in and brought his lips gently to Cinder's. She tensed for a moment, then relaxed and kissed him back. She wound her fingers into Kai's hair, and he brought his free hand down to her neck. He could feel the blood pounding through her veins, and could taste blood and ice on her lips. A burning sensation rushed throughout Kai's body; he could have kissed Cinder for the rest of his life and been perfectly content.

Cinder was the first to break away, dropping her hand back to the handle of her crutch so as not to touch him. She appeared frazzled, but not agitated. Kai's lips were cold without hers, and he hurt as though he had been stabbed where her fingers no longer rested. His anguish burned in his eyes, and he couldn't let go of Cinder. He couldn't let go of her.

"Cinder," Kai whispered, but she wouldn't look him in the eyes. He no longer cared where he was or what he was about to do. He couldn't care less if the whole world had just been lit aflame; he didn't care if he was about to be lit aflame. "Selene," Kai croaked.

Cinder froze, her eyes large and afraid. Tension boiled around them like a pot of water over a flame. Kai couldn't hear his friends speaking around him. He couldn't see Cinder's silent warning not to say it. He didn't feel her shove him away. The only thing he knew where his lips whispering the words he had wanted to say for weeks. The words were his destiny and fate.

"I love you."

And that's when Kai burst into flames.

***

"Kai, no!" Cinder screamed as she watched a lightning bolt of fire strike Kai's body from the heavens. He was a blazing human torch, sending beacons of light up to hell cast sky— he was the dawn of human suffering.

Around Cinder, her friends echoed her cry. An anguished scream reverberated throughout the wooded area, harmonizing with a predatorial growl. Cinder knew that sound, for it haunted her every dream. It was the sound that she heard when she was alone with her thoughts; it was the background music of her brain.

The smell of burning hair and flesh bore into Cinder's senses. She collapsed to the ground, her entire body trembling with the shock and memories. Her body was out of her control. She could no longer help Kai. She never could. In the end, she was only ever intended to hurt him.

Her friends weren't so helpless.

Thorne charged at Kai, a determined glint in his horror-struck eyes. He tackled Kai to the ground, bringing him in rolling circles across the snow. Kai continued to shriek with the agony of being burned alive, but the flames were beginning to die.

Cress ran to Kai and Thorne, pulling off her coat and beating Kai with it in frantic motions. Iko moved to Cinder's side, telling her to breathe. Spots of black danced across Cinder's vision with the red and orange of the torch that was once a boy. Her throat appeared to have closed off, because no matter how hard she tried, Cinder couldn't bring oxygen into her lungs.

Panic rushed through Cinder, heavier than she could have imagined. She clutched at her chest as the hyperventilations became too intense. She could no longer see Kai, but Ran. Ran was aflame, and Cinder could only watch as his flesh became a blazing meal for Hell.

Then Ran became Peony— peaceful as she silently bore pain that can only be aroused by fire. They were burning, burning, burning. Everything was on fire. The earth had erupted into violent flames. Hell had been cast upon the face of the world and nothing could be seen except the dancing forms phoenix's turning the earth into ashes.

And now Cinder herself was burning. Her skin steamed and peeled off in layers as the inferno consumed her body; but the worst part was the smoke.

Smoke, smoke, smoke. It blinded her. It choked her. It drowned every sense she possessed as a human being. She could no longer see the flames, but the wispy ladies of fate dancing in front of her eyes. Nothing existed anymore except for the smoke.

Smoke

Smoke

Smoke

But this time Kai wasn't there to save her from the storm of flames and smoke. Her hero had been struck down by a blade of kryptonite, only it was Cinder who had stabbed him.

"Cinder," Iko screamed somewhere within the smoke. "Cinder, breathe!"

But Cinder couldn't breathe; not with all of the smoke.

"It's all going to be okay, Cinder. Just breathe." Iko shook Cinder, but Cinder still couldn't see Iko. How was Iko still breathing? Cinder wondered.

"It's not real, Cinder," Iko yelled. "It's not real. Just breathe. Breathe in and out with me, okay?" Iko's voice pitched higher.

How can she still breathe? Cinder thought. How come I'm the only one choking?

"Cinder, IN!" Iko screeched. Cinder tried to suck in, but all she could inhale was smoke.

"OUT!" Black sludge spewed from her mouth.

"IN!" Rolling clouds of stormy fire raided her lungs.

"OUT!" A thousand cigarettes worth of smoke swirled from her mouth. The sky was no longer black, but dark gray and stormy.

"IN!" Ice bit at Cinder's lungs with vicious ferocity.

"OUT!" Golden eyes were staring at Cinder, and blue braids were tickling her frozen face.

"Iko," Cinder croaked, weak and tired from all the smoke— but the smoke was gone. "Where'd all the smoke go?" Cinder slurred.

"Kai's gonna be fine, Cinder," Iko said, which didn't make any sense. Was Kai the one making the smoke? Where was Kai?

Cinder was just about to ask her questions, when a long lost voice spoke instead.

"Selene?" Channary cried hysterically. "What are you doing to my Selene?" The woman was tall, thin, and severely burned. She had a face which had once held beauty and charm, but had lost all of its glory.

"Mom?" Cinder wheezed. "Mom, mom stop. Don't hurt them."

Cinder pushed herself off the ground, no longer tired. There was no smoke in the air but a thin trickle swirling up from a small form on the ground. Cinder had not been choking on smoke; she had been drowning in memories.

"My dear Selene, are you alright?" Channary asked with concern. "I won't let them touch you. I will not let anyone else hurt you."

Channary rushed forward, as if to hug her daughter, but her hands went straight through Cinder. A shiver ran down Cinder's spine, and she recoiled from the loving touch. "Selene?"

"Don't hurt them." Cinder panted, taking a step back from her mother. Out of the corner of her eye, Cinder could see Cress and Thorne gently touching a motionless Kai. He was no longer on fire, but his skin was red and blistering. "Just don't hurt them anymore, mom." Cinder drew the bracelet from the envelope still clutched in her injured hand. "Stop hurting me."

A cry of anguish burst forth from Channary. "Hurt you? I would never hurt you, my princess!" Channary threw her body towards Cinder, but there was still no contact. "All I've ever wanted was to protect you; first from the bad men, and now from them."

"And you did protect me from the bad men, mom. You saved me," Cinder soothed, sounding more like the mother who was trying to calm a confused toddler. "But these people aren't trying to hurt me. They're my friends."

"That's what they always say," babbled Channary. "They make promises like jokes. They tell you they love you, but then they only hurt you. No one can be trusted."

Cinder reached for her dead mother, but still no contact was made. It hurt to see her mom like this: dead as the corpse she had identified, but still as crazy in life. She remembered a time when her mom had been healthy, strong, and sane, but it was nearly a dream. Cinder's childhood was gone, and it was about time her mother was as well.

"Mom, they're not going to hurt me. No one has hurt me except for you." Cinder's voice cracked on the last part, and she felt her eyes sting. She needed to distract her mom from the others. She needed to hurt her— to kill her. She didn't want to do it, but it was of mice and men.

Channary wept desperately; just like she had the last time Cinder saw her. Cinder could barely understand her through the sobs. "I... I have... never... hurt... princess... never... my... princess... never..."

"Mom," Cinder stood as close as she dared to the crazed ghost. "I know you didn't mean to. But I was only a kid. You were supposed to be there, but you weren't. You said you would come home, but you didn't."

Cinder could see Thorne gingerly lugging Kai up with the help of Iko. They got him into a fireman's carry, and began to lug his broken body away.

Cress was out of sight, but Cinder knew that she must have been preparing the fire. She was always there. Cinder only wished she had given Cress more credit before and not been so quick to assume.

"I couldn't come home, my love. I couldn't help what happened. They... they caught up with me. They killed me. I tried... but I failed." Channary shed silent silvery tears. Her body looked as real as Cinder's, her tears being the only visible giveaway to her true form.

"I know you tried, mom," Cinder said. "But I can protect myself. I can choose who I love and not get hurt, mom."

A cool laugh echoed from Channary. She wiped her tears out of her eyes, and smiled down on Cinder. It was the first time Cinder had felt like a child in nearly fourteen years. "My dear Selene, you innocent child. Love is a conquest, love is a war," Channary giggled "And don't think I've forgotten about your little friends."

Cinder's blood turned to ice as Channary spun around. She snapped her fingers in a simple motion, making Iko, Thorne, and Kai collapse to the ground.

"No!" Cinder screamed. "Stop! Don't hurt them!" Cinder could feel the panic welling within her. All of her friends were about to die, and it was all her fault. At least her mother hadn't spotted Cress. "Please," Cinder whimpered.

"Ah, my princess, I'm sorry. Children always think they know best, but that is why we have parents. Believe me; mommy knows best." Channary smiled at Cinder in a sickly sweet way that made Cinder want to punch a wall.

A crackle of leaves sounded behind Cinder, and she felt her heart drop. Channary turned and spotted Cress' small form, her wicked grin growing wider.

Another snap of fingers, and Cress was collapsed on the ground, completely helpless. Cinder could feel her mounting horror at the vision before her. She could feel another panic attack welling inside her mind and chest. It was all of her worst memories and nightmares coming to play like a horror movie.

"Which shall I save you from first, my dearest Selene?" Channary hummed gleefully. "Which shall I rescue you from first, besides the most dangerous one. Luckily I already struck the little fiend who dared to hurt you."

Boiling rage bubbled violently inside of Cinder, canceling out the panic. She couldn't believe that anyone could ever call Kai a fiend. He was all of the goodness in the world. He had saved her from a fate of flames, and yet her mother wanted to bestow that same destiny upon him only for loving Cinder.

"Who shall it be, my princess?" Channary chuckled. "Who shall it be? Who shall it be?" Channary was spinning in circles like a little girl playing Ring Around the Rosie. "Who shall it be? Who shall it be? WHO SHALL IT BE?" Channary screamed, flinging her sharp body to and fro.

"Me," Cinder snapped.

Channary stopped her childish spinning. She stared at her beloved daughter that could have been her identical twin. They had the same brown hair, thinned by hardships and fire. They were both thin and bony from lack of love and care. They both had the same scarred bodies that had been caressed thoroughly by fire’s mistress.

"What did you say?" Channary asked.

"It shall be me." Cinder said, taking off her coat and unravelling the cotton bandages covering her scarred hand. They had healed well and fast, but she would always have the shiny pink flesh of scar tissue.

A shriek of agony came from Channary as she fell to the ground at Cinder's feet. She tried to clutch at Cinder's mangled hands, but her fingers went straight through Cinder. She sobbed with a saddened passion that was hard to watch.

"It shall be me," Cinder repeated, "because I've caused myself more pain than anyone here. I've only been hurt because I love you." Cinder paused only a moment before yelling, "Cress, now!"

Flames lit the ground in an instant, spilling light and warmth across the dark landscape. Channary leapt to her feet in outrage, but it was too late; Cinder had already thrown the bracelet onto the smoldering fire.

"No!" Channary screamed as her body began to melt. "No! My princess, my love, why are you doing this to me?" Channary sobbed in anguish, her skin smoking and peeling away from the bones. "I'm your mother!" Channary yelled. "Why must you hurt me, Selene? What did I do wrong?" Channary's body was nearly gone, but her voice still fought to be heard until there was nothing left of Channary Blackburn.

Cinder stared at the boiling tar-like mush that had once been her mother's ghost. "Everything," Cinder whispered. "You did everything wrong." Cinder's eyes stung. "But I still loved you."

A sob burst from Cinder, and she fell to the ground. Sorrow and grief for her mother spilled forth in the form of hysteria. She felt nothing and everything all at once. She felt gratitude and regret. She felt freedom and confinement.

"Mom..." Cinder cried. "Mom... mommy... I'm... I'm so sorry... mommy..." Cinder's hands reached for the place where her mother had been, but she was gone. "Oh, mom," Cinder whimpered.

"Cinder," Cress snapped, sounding surprisingly sharp during Cinder's moment of weakness. "We have to go, Cinder."

"My mom..." Cinder cried, knowing she sounded like a child but not caring. She had lost the final pieces of her mother, and it hurt more than she ever could have imagined.

Cress wrenched at Cinder's arm, trying and failing to pull her from the ground. "Cinder, we have to go now."

"Cress," Cinder whispered. "Why?"

It took Cress a moment to answer, and that's when Cinder remembered what had happened. The fire. The boy. The three words. A sacrifice that should never have been made. Cinder's grief took only an instant to transform into panic.

"Kai?" Cinder asked.

Silence.