#even though I still feel uncomfortably warm and nauseous

[thefamilyaberration]

I am not the smartest person you'll meet

[happy74827]

if you take requests! i love your writing! maybe a fic about harvey and it’s a little angsty bc of his pride or a miscommunication but then it becomes really fluffy

Regrets and Resolutions

[Harvey Specter x Female!Reader]

Synopsis Sometimes it takes a fight to know what you want, and sometimes what you want is what you need.

WC: 2459

Category: Angst to Fluff, Happy Ending

Angst to fluff is my specialty, so when I saw this request, I got all giddy. However, I do want to apologize for how long it took because it's been like two months and I feel really bad about it 😅🙏

Also miscommunication? Haha more like no communication

『••✎••』

Harvey Specter rarely messes up. For him, it’s always a perfect mix of confidence, arrogance, and planning. It was the one thing you always loved about him. Sure, he could be an ass at times, but the man knew how to work the courtroom, and as he always says, he plays the man, not the role.

You can still remember how it all started. It was a slow summer night, and you both happened to be at the bar that evening. For different reasons, of course.

For him, it was a celebration of a win for his client. Usually, he’d celebrate alone in the office with a bottle of wine, but the world worked in mysterious ways.

For you, it wasn’t a celebration or a happy event for work at all. You were there for a break. It had been an extremely stressful day, and all you wanted to do was drink and think about something other than work.

That was until a drunk man ruined your night.

He had approached you with some words that made your skin crawl and a touch that made you nauseous. You quickly got up to leave, but before you could, he held you down. You tried to push away, but he had a firm grip on your arm, and you couldn't get away from him.

That’s when you felt a set of strong arms pull him off you and into a chair. Your eyes widened, and that feeling in your chest fluttered when you were met with the kindest brown eyes you've ever seen.

They were warm, and even though he was mad, he still looked like he had just woken up from a dream. He looked like a male model. You were completely infatuated.

“You alright, hunny?” His voice was gentle and quiet. His voice was like a lullaby and the only thing you could focus on in the noisy bar.

You didn’t even register the nickname.

It was only when he referred to you as “his wife" that you finally snapped out of it.

You were about to argue back, but he took your hand in his and leaned forward to your ear. His breath was warm, and your body reacted on its own.

To some, it would look like an endearing kiss on the cheek, but in reality, he was only whispering.

“Just play along. Marriage will scare him off faster than anything.” There was humor in his tone, and you could feel the smile in his voice.

You nodded in agreement, not wanting to deal with an uncomfortable situation, and as it turns out, Harvey Specter knows exactly how to get someone to back down.

It took all but a few minutes, and he was able to scare the man away. Afterward, you offered your hand to shake his in thanks, and even though he gave you a charming smile, it was his eyes you were most drawn to.

That night, you were sure you were in love.

Since that night, you found yourself frequently going to that bar and talking to the handsome stranger. You fell in love with the way he always paid attention and asked questions about your life and your work. His words were like a breeze in the summer, making you feel alive and warm. He was so easy to talk to, and you were surprised at how quickly you became comfortable around him.

You would ask each other questions, flirt, and even laugh. Sometimes, you would go out to dinner. Nothing too formal, usually just for sushi and wine, but the night would be perfect.

As the months rolled by, he began to be the best part of your day. Whenever you saw him, it would brighten your day, and whenever he'd smile, it would warm your soul.

But one day, that all changed.

Harvey became colder towards you, and you began to wonder if you had done something wrong. But it was never you. It was always Harvey who started the arguments. It was always Harvey who pushed you away, but never you.

It was a Tuesday evening, and you had just returned from work. You expected the day to be stressful as usual, but nothing could prepare you for what came that evening.

You were about to get a glass of water when Harvey stormed in, tie in hand with a pissed-off look in his eye.

“Hey Harv…” You started, but Harvey cut you off.

"Don’t.” He didn’t even look at you, only shrugging off his coat and tossing it on the hook. “I’m not in the mood.”

He didn't even glance your way before he walked over to the fridge and opened it. He rummaged through the fridge for a few minutes before taking out a beer. He opened the bottle, took a swig, and let out a loud sigh. You stood there awkwardly, unsure of what to do. You wanted to comfort him, but your legs were glued to the floor, unable to move.

"What do you want for dinner? I'm going to order takeout," He said, not even looking at you.

You remained quiet, unsure if you should speak or not.

Harvey didn't speak much more that night. The only words he spoke were asking you what you wanted and when it would be there. But other than that, it was quiet. You ate your takeout in silence and took your bath without saying a word.

In the morning, he was gone before you woke. You assumed he went to work, and when you checked your phone, you were right. He texted you to say that he would be at work all day. It wasn't until that evening that you found out what was going on.

And you didn’t figure it out from him.

Donna. She had told you after you called her for help, asking her why he was acting so strangely.

And thus, the big fight that made Harvey mess up for once. You didn’t mean to blow up at him, but with his constant avoiding and refusal to speak, you got mad.

He thought you were pissed about the dishes and didn't take it seriously at first, but when you began to yell, he realized that wasn't the issue.

"I can’t keep doing this. I know it’s hard for you given how it is at work, but… God, Harvey, I feel like I don't even know you anymore!"

He scoffed and gave you a look you knew too well.

"You can't even spend five seconds with me without snapping or accusing me of something, and that’s not even the worst part," You shook your head and clenched your fists.

Harvey didn’t say anything, only folding his arms and watching you closely.

"You don't talk to me anymore, you don't pay attention, you're just cold." Your eyes stung as you said those words. The reality of it all was just hitting you, and the longer it went on, the worse you felt. "You used to be so sweet, and I used to feel like we were the best team."

“What’re you saying?” Harvey asked, taking a step closer to you.

"I’m saying how I hate that I always have to call Donna and tell her that, 'Harvey’s lashing out again, what happened this time?' when I should be hearing about what's going on from you. But you never open up. You don't tell me how your day is going; you don't tell me how your firm is. I don't know what's wrong. I never know what’s wrong. And when I ask, you either tell me it's nothing or say nothing at all.”

Your voice broke slightly, and you looked away. You couldn't bear to look at Harvey right then. It felt like everything you were saying was a slap in the face to him, and you couldn't stand it. You didn't want to hurt him. You didn't want to be a bad person. You wanted to be good for Harvey. You loved him more than anything, but you couldn't take the pain any longer.

"And now, I just feel like you don't care about me, that you don't love me, that you don't love anything at all. It's like you don't care about anything that I've done for you, that you're just walking away from it all like it doesn't mean anything to you. I can't keep living like this."

You held your tears back, but you didn't say anything else.

You started heading toward the door, not wanting to look at him, but he quickly grabbed your arm and turned you around. He looked like he was going to say something, but before he could, you spoke.

"Just let go.” Your voice was quiet. You couldn't bear to look at him anymore. You tried to pull your arm back, but Harvey wouldn't let go.

"Where are you going?" He asked, and you could hear the pain in his voice. You could tell he wanted to say more, but he couldn't find the words. “I don’t want you to leave.”

“I'm going to think. So, why don’t you do the same and then call Donna and ask her what you should do because she seems to be the only one who knows what's going on with you."

You started heading for the door once again, and when he didn't stop you this time, you pulled your arm out of his grasp.

You could still feel the sting when you woke up the next day, but you were glad it was gone.

After that day, Harvey called you, and you ignored him. Seeing his name pop up on the screen only made you sad, and you didn't know how to deal with that, so you put your phone away, unanswered, and shut him out.

Your parents' house was always open to you, so you spent a few nights there to clear your mind.

As you sat there, watching some crappy romance movie with your family, you only thought about him. The good times. The happy times. The laughs. The smiles. The love.

Harvey always had problems with committing to anything. You knew that before you got together.

You remember all the arguments you had about it. How he would always say everything but the word "love” because he was too scared that you would leave once it was out in the open.

And now, with everything you just went through, you didn't think you would ever forgive yourself if you left. You would never be able to forgive yourself if you abandoned the man you loved, who you knew loved you just as much.

You spent hours debating in your head on if it was worth it. Suppose it was worth fighting for.

And that's when it hit you.

The realization of it all.

He was a lawyer. It's his nature to fight. His nature is to argue and argue until the end. He would never admit defeat or admit defeat was even possible. And you were the person he was willing to fight for and fight for you he would.

The night you decided to go home and face him came faster than you thought. And you didn’t even make it out of your parent's house because he was waiting for you at the front door.

Regret was in those beautiful eyes. He wasn’t in a suit, either. He was in jeans and a T-shirt with a sweater, and he looked so casual but, at the same time, so handsome. You wanted to reach out and touch him, just to see if he was real, but you held yourself back.

You stood there and looked at him, and he looked right back at you. He didn't move, didn't say anything, but his eyes spoke volumes.

And then he finally spoke.

"I messed up," Harvey said quietly, stepping closer to you.

You nodded.

"I should've talked to you sooner, but I was afraid that if I did, you wouldn't understand. I was afraid that you'd look at me the same way as everyone else. I was afraid that you wouldn't love me anymore."

"I never stopped loving you, Harvey," You said quietly, looking up at him. "I just stopped thinking you loved me back."

He took another step closer to you, and before he could say another word, you had your arms wrapped around him. Your body fit against his like it was supposed to be there, and he did the same.

Your foreheads touched, and you looked into his eyes. He looked into yours.

"I love you.”

Your eyes met, and you practically almost burst into tears. You had waited for him to say it for so long.

"I love you so much." He whispered, “And I’m sorry I didn’t show it. I’m sorry I made you doubt that."

You sniffled and nodded. “You know you’re being the most Hallmark cliche ever right now, right?" You let out a small laugh, wiping away a few tears that were escaping you. "Hot lawyer and a tearful confession. All we need now is a dog."

Harvey laughed and looked away for a second. "Don’t forget about the townspeople watching us from their windows and cheering."

“Like who? Donna?”

"Well, I was going to say your parents, but sure. Let's just add Donna." He smiled and kissed the tip of your nose.

"You really do love me, right? And you aren't just saying it for a townsperson's sake?" You asked, your voice trembling slightly.

Harvey put his hands on your waist and looked at you, still smiling.

“I’m saying it for the dog.”

“Harvey.” You gave him a look.

"Alright, alright. I'm saying it for the townspeople. For Donna, if she were here."

“Mhmm... and for yourself?"

Harvey stared into your eyes and gave you the most gentle smile you had ever seen.

"And for you." He whispered.

That was it. That was the moment you knew it was real. You could feel it in your heart, in your bones, and in your very soul.

You kissed him, wrapping your arms around his neck. He pulled you closer to him, and you pressed your body against him.

It felt like time had stopped as the kiss lingered on for what felt like years. His lips moved with yours, and you felt like your soul was leaving your body and going to heaven. It felt like a dream. It was a dream.

And for you, that would be your happy ending.

The world worked in mysterious ways, and so did Harvey Specter. But one thing you learned about Harvey is that he knows exactly how to work the world.

And after that night? He definitely worked it for you.

[butididntpourthewhiskeys]

🤍 SAFETY II 🤍

Two kisses are being placed on her shoulder, right on top of the soft fabric of her shirt, slowly wandering down to the sleeve and finally landing right on the warm skin of her naked arm. She can smell his aftershave already, way before having opened her eyes. She loves to smell him when she wakes up, loves to feel with all of her senses that he’s right there, right with her. His scruffy face presses a few more gentle kisses onto her arm and she can hear him whispering his good mornings onto her skin. His big hand is securely placed around her torso, right on top of the white hotel bed sheets. She groans slowly, her head pounding like she was hit by a truck. For a split second she feels unable to remember what is going on? Why does her head hurt like this? Why is she so nauseous? Why is there an IV drip attached to her hand? Suddenly, these dark thoughts cross her mind again. He told her last night. He told her what happened. 

Even though she feels as weak as she barely has before, Taylor forces herself to open her eyes once. She needs to wake up. She needs to wake up to speak to Tree, to solve this situation, to make sure no one has witnessed her in her unconscious state. With half open eyes, Taylor moves quickly, almost panicky and looks down confusedly to the man in bed next to her. He’s fully dressed, freshly showered, just casually lying on his stomach right next to her. His arm still wrapped around her body, his thumb stroking gently over the fabric of her blanket. He can’t help smile at her gently. Her hair is curly and quite literally everywhere. She’s got the same grumpy look on her face as per usual when he has to wakes her up. She’s never liked getting up. No matter what time of the day it is. 

“Hi.” she mumbles, her voice rusky and still full of sleep. It makes Travis smile quietly. 

“Hi beautiful.” he says, moves closer to her to press a gentle kiss onto her lips. She barely moves her face and he’s unsure if she’s too tired still or uncomfortable kissing him without having brushed her teeth yet. He couldn’t care less about these things, but he knows she does. 

“How are you feeling?” he asks then, moving his face closer to her cheek again to leave a kiss there. 

“Horrible.” she groans, closing her eyes again for a moment. She’s been awake for less than five minutes and already feels exhausted. She takes a deep breath, hoping it will cure her upset stomach or the head that feels like exploding. But it doesn’t help. Of course it doesn’t. 

“Headache?” he asks gently, reaching for her hand to intertwine with his. She’s got her eyes closed again, just nods quietly. And Travis hates it. He hates seeing his girl as sick and weak as she is now. In the past year of loving this woman, he’s not seen her like this at all. Taylor is full of energy and life. Probably has more energy than most people he knows. But seeing her like this, and knowing that another person is the reason for it, makes his blood boil in an unruly way. He knows he most likely broke this guy’s nose last night. But if he could, without consequences, there’d be far worse things he’d do to him.

His thumb is drawing gentle circles on her hand and he doesn’t rush her waking up again. Instead, he just stays right there next to her, watching her drift off again slowly. And it’s quiet between them again. The kind of quiet he’s never been able to enjoy with anyone else. But with her, it’s different. With her, silence doesn’t have to be a form of insecurity. There’s pure clarity between them. Nothing but love, support, honesty. He loves sitting in silence with her, because it reminds him that besides all the earthly things he loves about her… at the end of the day she’s just the purest little soul he’s ever been privileged to know.

“I need to get up.” she whispers weakly then, her voice whiny. He just shakes his head no, getting closer to her hand he’s holding in his and presses another kiss on top of it. 

“We’ve still got a couple of hours until the flight. I just wanted to wake you cause I knew it’ll take a while for you to be alright. Don’t stress about it, baby.” he says, but Taylor just takes another deep breath and carefully tries to sit up. She notices that her hand is still connected to the IV stand next to the bed. Still in disbelief about the events of last night, Taylor just sits up, leaning against the backrest of the hotel bed. She feels dizzy, nauseous. And she can’t believe Travis has to see her like this. She must look absolutely horrendous, that she’s sure of.

“I can call and get someone to remove the IV. The guy last night said it’s a quick job.” 

She nods, rubbing her tired eyes. 

“Thanks. I.. I really need to go to the bathroom. Can you help me?” 

Even before she finished her sentence, Travis has gotten up from his spot next to her in bed. He helps Taylor come to a secure stand, then helps her make her way to the bathroom on the other side of the hotel suite. One hand securely on the IV stand with the small wheels attached to it, the other one holding hers. She’s extremely weak. Just holding onto him with all the strength left in her. He hates seeing her like this, hates to know that he was there when this happened. He was there, but he wasn’t able to protect her. 

“Want me to..” 

She turns around, shakes her head no. 

“I can do it on my own. Some privacy please.”

“You sure?”

“Trav..” she mumbles with slight annoyance in her voice and he chuckles quietly, then respects her wishes and closes the bathroom door behind her. 

~

“Alright sweetie, this is what I got you.” he excitedly places the secured goods on the table at the end of the room. “I got you a full sugar coke with some ice, we’ve got healthy fats in the form of a crispy salmon taco, I got you some chili cheese nuggets, we’ve got some fries and some Gatorade, of course.” the tall man proudly stands there, holding the brown fast food bags up in the air after having just returned from his lunch food run. Taylor, who just got out of the shower, just walks past him and sits down on the side of the bed with her hair dripping wet and her body covered by nothing but the big white towel. 

“Babe, this is very sweet but I literally just threw up an hour ago. I can’t eat.”

“I know, but you heard what the doctor said. You need to eat to actually feel better. Just try some of it, you don’t have to eat it all.” he mumbles while unpacking the food bag. She doesn’t answer him and it forces him to look back at her in confusion. He doesn’t like what he sees. She just sits there on the side of the bed, her chest rising up and down.

“Hey, you okay?” he asks worriedly, dropping everything around him to sit down next to her. Just like a reflex, his arm is now wrapped around her wet towel, the other one resting on her naked thigh. 

“I.. I think the hot shower was.. just a lot.” she mumbles, her face pale and still breathing heavily. He sighs, feels his throat tightening again. He doesn’t say anything, just moves closer to her. Within a second he feels her head leaning on his shoulder and her small hand finding its natural position on his chest. She just melts into his arms and he appreciates being her harbor in this moment. His head turns around towards her and he presses a few kisses onto her wet but amazingly well smelling hair. His big hand moving up and down her naked arm. She doesn’t move, clearly needs a few minutes to recover from taking a shower and washing her hair. His lips won’t leave her head and he feels himself getting emotional again. This woman in his arms is not just his best friend and greatest life companion he’s ever known. This woman in his arms is his future wife, the future mother of his children, the person he wants to grow old with, the only person on this planet he would sit in the trenches with. He wants to die at ninety years old, right in her arms, while looking into those eyes one last time. He knows worse things can happen. He knows she’s been lucky because she’s got people looking out for her. He knows she’s been lucky because she got the medical help she needed right away. Still, this nagging, stinging, horrible feeling of fear and guilt at the same time won’t leave his chest. He wants to be strong for her. He promised himself and her that he would be. But right now in this moment, holding her wet and weak body in his arms almost brings him to his breaking point. He’s always cried too fast and too much, and it’s something that everyone in his life is well aware of. He’s never felt the need to hide it but in moments like these, he wishes he could stay as level-headed and strong as she needs him to be right now. 

His lips continue to press gentle kisses onto her scalp underneath her wet and curly hair. She doesn’t move, just closes her eyes for a moment. How is it possible that whatever drug she was put under keeps making her feel so tired? After a few moments, she then slowly pulls back, looking up at him again. She notices immediately. This giant teddy bear is smiling his biggest smile at her but his eyes are red and watery. She can tell right away he’s been crying.

“Oh baby..” 

“Don’t.” he immediately says, already sinking his head, not wanting her to see him like this. “I’m fine. Just a cry baby, you already know.” he jokes but she’s not having any of it. Her cold hands wander to his stubbly beard. She just holds his face in her hands for a moment, then gets closer to him as he is quicker than her, already steels her forehead another butterfly kiss. A tear runs down his cheek, and it breaks her heart. 

“What’s going on?” she whispers, her hand now securely on top of his sweatpants on his thigh. He takes a deep but shaky breath, shakes his head. 

“Nothing.” 

“Talk to me.” she says with a level of gentleness in her voice that always gets him. He swallows, looking into her eyes again. He’s still crying, but he’s trying to swallow it down. 

“I just.. I love you.” he says, and by the look on his face she knows he’s never meant anything as much as he means these words. His chin is trembling and it does something to her heart.

“And I’m real sorry for last night, baby. I.. I know I sound like a broken record by now, but this shouldn’t have happened last night and..” 

“Trav.” she just says, a big sigh escaping her mouth. “Listen to me.”

Taylor reaches for both of his cheeks once more and lifts herself up to press a big kiss onto his mouth. She can taste the salt of the tears running down his cheek and it moves her. She hates that this beautiful person is crying for her, but it touches her on another level to understand just how loved she is. She always knew that Travis loves her. She knew it from the first day they hung out, right over a year ago. His feelings for her was never anything that was up for debate. But witnessing how badly he wants her to be happy and healthy and well is another form of declaring his love for her that she hadn’t been privy to witness before. She can’t help but smile to herself. This is the kind of love she’s always wanted. This is exactly what she’s always wanted.

“I know this should’ve never happened. But.. I’m okay. I’m okay because you were there. You.. you literally saved my life, Trav. You.. you carried me to my hotel room, you called a doctor for me, you gave me aspirin when I was pretty much unconscious. I still have no idea how you did that.” she giggles slightly and it makes him smile beneath his tears, too. 

“You held my hair when I was throwing up this morning. You just got me disgustingly smelly food in an attempt to make me feel better.” she takes a pause, not sure how else to convince him that none of this was his fault. It never could be. He just gets closer to her again, kissing her forehead once more. 

“You’re just… magical. You’re the best boyfriend I’ve ever had.”

“Boyfriend?” he says offended suddenly, and she laughs, rolling her eyes while wiping away one last set of tears running down his cheek. 

“Fiancé, excuse me. Future husband.” 

“That’s better.” he jokes, pulling her closer again. 

“It hurts me that you’re so sad.” she adds then, and he shakes his head. 

“I’m not sad, baby. I just.. I hate seeing you not being okay.” 

“Trav, I am okay.” 

“You’re not. You can barely shower without collapsing, you can’t eat, you’re tired and….” 

“Baby.” she says, a laugh escaping her mouth. “I’m fine. I’m not made of glass. I get sick, I get tired. But I’ll be okay. Don’t worry.” 

He nods, suddenly feels a hint of embarrassed for worrying so much. She’s strong, extremely strong and he never wants to make her feel any less than that. His head is sunk, and he sniffles once more, just nodding. She smiles gently at him, her hand stroking gently through his hair once and then presses a kiss onto his big head. 

“There’s gonna be so many times you’ll have to witness me being sick. And I’ll have to witness you being sick. It won’t be fun. But I don’t want us to.. to turn this into a thing, okay? I’ve had a relationship before where our happiness as a couple was dependant on saving each other and you know how well that ended.” 

Travis looks into her eyes and nods. She’s absolutely right. He can be there for her, he can take care of her. But he won’t be able to protect her from the world. Even though he would love nothing more than having this power. 

“Once I’m pregnant, I’ll suffer so much and you will have to endure all of it.” she says then, a twinkle in her eyes that makes him smile again. “Between Abigail and me, I was always the more cranky one when I was sick. She literally is the most pain-tolerating person I know and she told me countless times that she’s felt like dying in the first trimester. So you’ve got lots to look forward to, mister.” she jokes, another little laugh escaping her throat. He smiles at the thought, nods, lets both their noses touch and then kisses her again. But this time, really. He slowly pulls back after a few seconds, leans his forehead against hers. 

“I can’t wait for that.” he whispers against her lips, both his eyes closed, smiling. 

“Me too.” she says, moves her nose once more to tickle his. This is the first time in her life that she gets to talk about these things in a way she always dreamed of. It’s not an if anymore. It’s a plan. it’s their plan. And she can’t wait to do it all with him. All of the things she used to be so terrified of. She’s ready to do it all with him. Finally, she’s ready. 

“I’ll probably cry every time I throw up. And you’ll have to deal with it.” she giggles at him. 

“I’ll cry with you.” he says then and it makes her laugh even more.

“Trav.” she gently hits him. “I need you to be pragmatic and logical when I’ll loose my mind over my hormones. Would be awesome to have at least one person in this house who can think straight.” she jokes and he nods. 

“How much more time do I get to prepare? A year?” 

She grins at him, nodding. 

“You know the deal. No trying for a baby before the wedding. I need good pictures.” 

“Alright. But we can keep practicing. Practice makes perfect, I know what I’m talking about.” he jokes, kissing her cheek once more. And he loves to feel her small hand land on his neck. The thought of their future together is making her as happy as it makes him. He can’t wait to take these steps with her. He can’t wait to just live his life alongside this beautiful person. 

“Trav?” she looks at him again, her hand tickling his chin gently. 

“Mhm?” 

“I love you, too. Let’s.. let’s just forget last night ever happened, okay?” 

He looks at her, his face a bit more serious than before. He hates that she feels the need to just suppress what happened. And really, this is the last thing he expected her to do. He expected tears, he expected long conversations with Tree and her security team. Not this. 

“I’m not sure babe. I’ll try.” 

“Good.” she kisses him once more, then slowly gets up to dry her hair.

~

Travis looks out of the big black car window with the tinted glass. It’s always a surreal feeling to drive across the runway of a commercial airport, especially here in Las Vegas. A few palm trees are still marking the outline of this gigantic airport. The afternoon heat making it hard to see clearly back to the airport halls, the huge building almost almost blurry by the guzzling heat. You never know how gigantic these airplanes really are until you sit in a regular sized car, right in front of one. Travis looks to his right, can see the blonde curly haired woman in her huge sweater, not sure if she’s cold from the AC in the car or whether her tiredness is the reason she had to wear a hoodie at this Nevada heat. 

“I don’t think there’s any paps, babe.” he mumbles then, looking out of the window to ensure himself once more that he’s right. 

“Yeah, but I still want them to shield me with the umbrella. I look horrific.” she mumbles, her voice still a little rusty. It’s inevitable to see that she’s been through it. She doesn’t even look at him in this moment, is just frantically texting on her phone. Her small Gucci handbag half open on her lap and the other bag with her laptop and cosmetics right between them. Traveling with Tay is something that amuses him every time. She’s always got at least two purses with her, a bunch of suitcases (and of course, she never knows which one carries what), there’s always at least two phones flying around the airplane and it’s never been the case that she didn’t forget something on the plane after. He loves this creative, chaotic but loving woman, even though her lack of travel organization is something that might actually drive him insane one day.

“You look great, what are you talking about.” he just counters her and for the first time since minutes, she looks up from her phone and smiles at him. He loves having that effect on her. He loves how she’s not wearing any make up, loves that she’s more comfortable around him than anyone else in her life. 

“I love when your natural curls come through.” 

His comment hits her right in the heart. 

“I don’t.” 

“Well, you should. It’s freaking gorgeous.” he says unbothered, now looking out of the window again. He doesn’t even seem to notice how much these small comments really mean to her. How much her mindset, her confidence, her thoughts, her whole life has changed ever since this has become the norm for her. Someone building her up on the constant. Promises that are kept. Nothing but support and acceptance radiating from him. He loves her. She’s always his priority. Crazy how simple relationships can be. 

Still smiling at the big man next to her, all it takes is one look back at her phone screen and she groans annoyedly. 

“What?” Travis looks back at her. 

“Mom is driving me insane.” 

He grins and the car comes to a stop. 

“She keeps on sending me more things to pick up before dinner. I thought I can just send Alex to Whole Foods but now she wants us to get wine from that Australian store and pick up Kitty from the salon and.. it just never ends.” she says with an annoyed face, letting her phone drop onto her lap like a child throwing a tantrum. He just laughs at her, already knows that she’ll look for it between the car seats in a bit.

“Does she not know you’re still really worn-out from last night?” 

Taylor doesn’t answer him, and he instantly knows why. Instead of answering him, she just opens the car door, asks Travis to reach for her tote bag behind her and manages to board the plane underneath at least four umbrellas without anyone being able to see her face from afar. As soon as she got on the plane she feels her knees going weak once more. She usually makes sure to take her bag from Travis, but this time she just falls onto the seat and takes a shaky breath. How can she be so out of breath from walking a set of stairs? 

Travis, who finally enters the plane now notices immediately how pale she is again. 

“All good?” 

She nods, reaches for the small water bottle next to her and takes a sip. 

“Yeah.. just.. got dizzy for a bit.” 

Travis just sighs, places her bag next to her and grabs the small carry on suitcase from one of her security guards to place securely behind her seat. 

“Welcome aboard miss Swift. Would you like to eat lunch during this flight?”

Taylor looks at the flight attendant of today’s flight crew, smiles politely and ready to decline as Trav starts speaking first. 

“I think that would be a great. What do you guys have?” 

“Let me give you a menu.” she says friendly and disappears. Taylor just looks at him and rolls her eyes while watching Travis sit down in front of her.

“You haven’t eaten in almost twenty hours. I understand that you don’t want the greasy taco bell I got you this morning but please try eating at least something.” 

Just when she was ready to hit him with her prepare speech about how she won’t force food down her throat when she doesn’t want it, the flight attendant steps closer to the two again, holding a menu card in her hand and smiling at the couple. 

“Today, we can offer you either a sushi dish with yellowtail snapper, spicy tuna and avocado. We also have Filet Mignon with roasted potatoes and a side salad or the vegetable pasta with truffle cheese.” 

“Can I get the Filet Mignon please?” Travis says politely while securing his seat belt, and Taylor sighs. 

“I guess I’ll have the same.” 

The flight attendant nods and disappears again.

Travis smiles thankfully at her. 

“If I’ll explode on this tiny airplane toilet in an hour, then that’s on you!”

“You won’t. You’ll feel better.” he says, his voice has gone all gentle again. He places his arm right over the little table between them, signaling her that he wants to hold her hand. With one hand still holding onto the little water bottle, Taylor places her small cold hand in his, enjoys getting her cold hand warmed by his. 

“Now tell me why your mom has no clue what happened last night.” 

Taylor sighs. She can’t ever keep anything from him. 

“My parents worry so much about me. You know that. I just.. nothing happened so it’s not necessary to tell them.” 

“I disagree. I think you need all the support around you right now and hiding it from anyone will just turn this into a dirty little secret, which it really doesn’t have to be.”

“I don’t need ‘support’, Trav. Gosh. I’m not feeling great, but this whole thing will be forgotten tomorrow.”

He looks at her and hates the tone in her voice right now. She’s not just gaslighting him, but also herself. Still, he won’t let go of her hand. 

“You were drugged, Tay. Against your will. That’s literally called abuse. And just because that guy didn’t get to rape you after, doesn’t mean he didn’t have the intention to do so. It was still it abuse.” he says in a serious voice that gives her a shiver for a moment. She looks up at him, pulls her hand away. Something in her has shifted and he has no idea why. 

“Why do you want me to suffer?” she says then, her arms crossed. For a moment, he has no idea what she’s talking about. 

“Excuse me?” 

“All morning you act like I almost died. I didn’t. You know how many people this happens to? Some people literally take drugs for fun. It happened to me, it wasn’t great but I’ll be fine. Why do you have to turn this into something bigger than it is?” 

“Wow.” he just says, an angry sigh escaping his mouth. He doesn’t know what else to say to her. He understands that she’s not feeling well, he understands she’s tired and annoyed and sensitive right now. That she wishes it never happened. But he didn’t expect her to be so dismissive of his feelings after she’s been so understanding and empathetic just a few hours ago. 

“Well, I’m sorry for not being able to move on from this as fast as you can. Just wasn’t fun seeing the person I love collapse in my arms. Lucky you didn’t have to endure that. Would’ve been nice to be the unconscious one in that situation. But hey, next time someone drugs you I’ll just tell myself ‘oh it’s not that bad, some people do this for fun’.” he gets back at her, knowing he sounds more salty than he intended to. But it’s not the end of their argument. She looks angry, ready to say something she will definitely regret. 

“You know what? Sometimes, you can be a real asshole.” she says angry. 

“Right back at you, sweetie.” 

The plane starts moving and she just shakes her head in anger, doesn’t say anything else. Travis looks into the other direction as well, not able to say anything consoling in this moment. He doesn’t understand how she can go from being the most gentle, kind and understanding person in the world to being as cold as this. Making him feel like he’s just a burden. Pretending like his feelings as well as her feelings aren’t valid. He never wants her to suffer. All he wants is to be there for her, to be a good partner. Travis looks at her once more, but she just looks out of the window, plugging her AirPods into her ears. She clearly doesn’t want to talk to him at the moment. And he can’t say he feels any different. 

~

“Tay… Tay, we just landed.” she wakes up, feels Travis gently caressing her arm. She looks around almost as confused as she was this morning, realizes that she must have passed out for a solid amount of time. The last thing she remembers is eating bits of her steak and potatoes while successfully ignoring the man in front of her. She’s mad at him for his comments earlier. Mad that he makes her feel worse about what happened last night than he should. Still, he must have placed a blanket over her when she fell sleep. One of her AirPods must have fallen out of her ears and onto her lap. It seems like she’s had a good nap. 

“How long was I out for?”

“Whole flight.” he mumbles, busy looking into his phone. He clearly doesn’t want to talk to her either, doesn’t ask her how she’s feeling, how her nap was or leaning over the table to steal her a little wake up kiss. She hates to admit it, but she misses getting her usual treatment from him. She’s still annoyed by him, but she secretly hates this fight. However, she’s too proud to give in yet. This time, he should be the one to come around. It’s none of his business how she deals with her family. He should help her move on from last night and not make her feel guilty for doing so. She feels disrespected by him judging her for wanting to deal with this in her own way. Especially him. The person who has understanding for literally anyone and anything on this planet. 

It takes a good thirty minutes until the plane has arrived in its arrival position and the two have made their way into the car. The drive up to her house is long. Even longer when the person next to you does their very best to not talk to you under any circumstances. She then turns her head once, looks at him looking out the window. He seems mesmerized by the Nashville city sights. The last time he visited her here, they spent their time going on little hikes and just being their happiest selves together. Now, there’s conflict between them. She hates it. Even more than the afternoon traffic they just got stuck in. She sighs, is not sure how to approach him now. 

“You don’t need to come to my mom’s dinner with me tonight. It’s just my family anyways and..” 

“If you go, I’ll go.” he says. 

She doesn’t say anything, just nods and looks out of the window. 

“But you’re mad at me.” 

“Correct.” he says quietly, and she rolls her eyes. “But it would be rude not to go to a family thing when we promised them we’d be there.” 

“I don’t want you to go if you’re like this all night.” 

He sighs now, rolls his eyes and lets his head fall against the head rest of the car seat in annoyance. 

“What do you want me to say, Tay? Want me to apologize for worrying about you? For caring about your well-being? Just tell me what you want to hear because I don’t get it.” 

She doesn’t say anything, feels this new form of anger boil up in her. Before she can stop herself, she opens her mouth a tad too quickly.

“You literally think I’m so weak, don’t you?” 

He looks at her in confusion and shock. 

“What the fuck? When did I say that..” 

“You literally think last night broke me. But it didn’t. You have no idea what kind of scrutiny I’ve endured. Way worse than last night. And it makes me sad that you think I’m made of sugar and not able to handle this. I’m stronger than you think, Trav. And I really thought you would know that. And I’m done playing the part of the broken little girl who needs saving. I don’t need to be saved.” 

He just shakes his head. He can feel pure anger radiating from her. He knows that anything he says now will be twisted by her anyways. And he truly hates when she’s like this. 

The big black car comes to a stop at a red light. He looks out of the window and in contrast to the beautiful Las Vegas sun, the weather in Nashville today is cloudy. Cloudy and humid. The perfect temperature for a good fight with someone you care deeply about. 

“I know you can handle all of it.” he replies surprisingly calm for her taste. “And I know you can probably handle even more. Completely on your own. But I just don’t want you to. That’s all I was trying to say. I’m on your team, if you remember.” 

Taylor swallows, not saying anything else. 

~

“You ready?” 

Travis is standing in the hallway of her Nashville apartment. He’s checking his hair for a moment, taking a look at the golden rolex on his arm. It’s late. Very late if they want to make a quick stop to pick up Andrea’s dog before heading to her house for dinner. The rest of the afternoon has passed by horribly slow. After arriving at Taylor’s Nashville condo, he’s made his way to the gym and managed to ignore her as much as he could to clear his head for a while. Tay clearly didn’t want to speak to him either, disappeared into her bedroom and pretty much stayed there ever since. When he walked past the open bedroom door on his way to take a shower earlier, he could find her passed out in bed whilst some tv show was running in the background. As mad as he is at her, he’s just glad she’s been able to rest. She needed it. And he can’t believe she’s now dragging herself to a family dinner after last night. She almost got no sleep after being drugged, just got off a four hour flight. But it seems that she was right. She is stronger than anyone he knows. He just wishes she could see that sometimes, she doesn’t have to be strong. Sometimes, it’s okay to admit that you’re worn out and sad.

“Give me one second.” she yells back from the kitchen. With his beige pants and white t-shirt, Travis feels almost too dressed up, which wasn’t even planned for tonight. After all, he wants to be himself around her family. But he had this outfit picked out for her when they left KC two days ago. She loves whenever he’s dressed like this. And she knows how excited she is to share the news with her wider family today. 

Travis takes a few steps into the rustic kitchen and finds her standing in front of the huge flower bouquet her assistant has picked up for her. After all, today is her aunt Maureen’s birthday and she doesn’t want to go see her with empty hands. 

Travis just stands in the door frame, watches her cut the flower stems while being in her own little world, and he can’t help but feel the urge to just go up to her and hug her from behind. But he’s too proud to just let it go like this. They need to properly talk about their fight, before acting like nothing happened. Still, he can’t help but think about how beautiful she looks. Her curly hair is in a loose bun. She’s wearing a long dress with sunflowers on it and a pair of yellow sandals that match her dress perfectly. He also notices that she’s wearing her engagement ring. A rare occasion of her feeling safe enough in her environment to show it off. It consoles him in a way. As mad as he is, she’s still going to be his wife. They belong together. No matter how bad one of their fights may get. 

“Do you want me to put anything into the car?” 

“Yeah, can you grab the bag right there? That’s the wine and the stuff from Whole Foods.” she mumbles, still busy fixing the flowers. He nods, was just about to grab the big plastic bag next to her when he notices her stopping what she does for a moment. Instead, she just holds onto the counter in front of her, taking a deep breath. For a second he looks at her, worried. She just let the flowers drop into the sink, isn’t moving. 

“You okay?” 

She doesn’t answer him. Again, she just takes a deep breath, then nods with a shaky breath. 

“Hey, Tay.” 

He can clearly see that she’s dizzy, trying to catch herself again. He drops the plastic bag on the counter immediately, walks up to her and places his hand protectively on her back. 

“I’m just.. can you get me a glass of water, please?” she says with a shaky voice and Travis nods. Once more, he’s worried. He knew she wasn’t okay. He knows she hates to admit it, but she is not a hundred percent fine. She should stay home and take care of herself. But he’s done telling her that. 

“You sit down for a moment.” 

With a hand in her back and the other one securely holding her cold and sweaty hand, he helps her sit down on one of the chair around the dining table right next to them. She’s seen the look on his face, knows that he’s worried sick again. And she hates it. She hates having to be the weak one of the two again. A burden. A broken little girl who needs saving. 

“I’m just.. a bit dizzy. I’ll be fine in a second, don’t worry.” 

Travis doesn’t say anything, just reaches for a glass from the shelf next to the sink, pours some filtered water into it and comes back handing it to her. 

“Here.” 

“Thanks.” she mumbles, reaches for the glass and starts jugging it down. He notices her hands shaking slightly. He sighs, crouches down in front of her for a moment and places his hands on her knees. She empties the whole glass, then carefully places it on the wooden table next to her. She breathes heavily after putting the glass down, then leans back and relaxes for a moment. Her eyes close for a moment. Travis moves his hands on her knees gently, looking at her with empathy. He knew that going to this dinner was a bad idea. It already is. He reaches for both of her hands now, moving his thumbs up and down for a moment. 

“I know we can both be assholes, but you know what? You’re stubborn as hell on top of that.” 

She opens her eyes again, looks down at him. She tries not to smile at him, but almost cracks up. And he notices.

“I just.. I haven’t seen my family in a while with tour and everything. I need this. I need them to feel.. grounded. They also haven’t seen my ring yet. I just..” 

“I know you want to go, baby. That’s why we’ll go. But just.. just tell me when you want to leave. Okay?” 

She nods, a little smile on her face. 

“Want some more?” he asks, pointing to the now empty water glass. She nods. Travis gets up and goes up to the kitchen sink again to refill it. She just watches him standing there right by the sink in his cotton pants, looking really presentable for her family. He’s not just handsome today, but the look in his face makes her feel things. She feels horrible all of the sudden. She knows that he worries, and it shouldn’t be something to hold against him. But there’s this anger inside of her. And she doesn’t even know where it comes from. But it’s there. She’s angry at him, angry at herself.

Travis makes his way back and hands her the glass of water. She takes one sip, then reaches for his big warm hand against whilst he just stands there in front of her chair now, watching her finish her glass once more. 

“I’m sorry for being a stubborn asshole. But you’re also a stubborn asshole, sometimes.” she mumbles. 

“Guess we’re a good fit then.” he replies, forcing a little smile out of her. 

“Let’s talk about this when we get home. Don’t want to ruin this night for everyone.”

He nods, allowing himself to look into her eyes for the first time since their fight today. She smiles gently, a little peace offer from her side. She gets closer to him and her smile requests a small kiss from him. He gets closer to her, pressing his mouth onto hers. She feels relieved, intertwines both of their hands for a moment.

“I’ll take the flowers and you take the grocery bag?” she asks him, gets up with his help and already makes her way back to the kitchen sink in which she just frantically dropped the flowers a few minutes ago. 

“Yeah, let me get that.” he says, reaches for the bags on top of the counter. Taylor suddenly notices another red bag with the KC logo in his hand while reaching for the flowers for her aunt. 

“What’s that?” 

“That’s the jersey. For Jett.” 

Taylor looks at him a little touched, can’t believe he remembered. Her eight year old baby cousin Jett is a huge Patrick Mahomes fan and asked Travis on Christmas if he can get him a signed jersey. She can’t believe he remembered. Can’t believe that this is how thoughtful he is with her family. 

“You remembered? Oh my god, he will be estatic.” she gushes. 

“Yeah, got it signed and got him a cap and an autograph as well.” 

Taylor smiles at him while walking towards the door. 

“Thanks for remembering. It’s so sweet.” 

“Hey, this is for my guy Jett, not you.” 

She rolls her eyes, but smiles, and leaves the house together with him. 

~

“Oh my god, come here!” 

Taylor giggles while entering the house with Travis, two huge bags of groceries and presents, a bouquet of magnolia flowers and one freshly trimmed Dalmatian with them. Taylor can already hear her mom laughing from the kitchen as her aunt and godmother Alison makes her way towards her niece and hugs the blonde tall woman as tight as humanly possible. 

“Show me that ring. I want to see that ring right now.” 

Taylor laughs, and so does Travis right behind her. He knew that their engagement would be the number one topic of the evening. Whilst Taylor is busy handing the big bouquet to Maureen before showing everyone her engagement ring, Trav just quietly makes his way to the kitchen, passing the grocery bags to Andrea who’s standing by the stove. 

“Trav, you are the best. Thank you so much. Come here, honey.” she takes the bags from him, placing them on her marble kitchen counter and pulls him in for a big hug. 

“You look good. Did you let your hair grow?” 

“I did.” he smiles shyly, when he already feels Scott padding his shoulders from behind. 

“Trav, good to see you.” Scott pulls him in for a hug and Travis can’t believe his eyes. Scott is wearing one of the vintage KC crewneck sweater he got him last year. He can’t believe he’s wearing it for dinner with his Eagles supporting family. 

“You have just made my day, big guy” he pulls him in for another hug. Just in that second, Taylor enters the kitchen, asking her mom for a vase. Andrea just presses a kiss on her daughter’s cheek and takes the flowers from her. 

“Hi sweetheart.” Scott says, ready to hug his daughter but Taylor just looks at his outfit in shock and awe at the same time. Her mouth wide open, looking back from Travis to her dad.

“What do you say about that, huh? He’s officially joined the team.” Travis says proudly to his fiancé, still can’t believe he’s been able to fully pull Scott to the right side of history.

“That’s a statement, dad. How does Andrew feel about this.” she laughs, already looking for her uncle in the living room who will most likely not be too amused about his outfit choice. After all, he still hasn’t digested the 2023 loss against the Chiefs. And Travis being a part of the family now hasn’t really soothed this wound yet. It probably never will. But her dad now also moving to the dark side will definitely not make this better. 

“He hasn’t said anything to me all day.” Scott laughs, and so does Trav. He high fives the older man and Taylor just shakes her head in disbelief. It’s safe to say that her dad has never loved any boyfriend more than Trav. 

“Honey, where the hell are you? We need to see the ring. Now.” Maureen now yells into the kitchen and everyone starts laughing. Taylor smiles at her mom, who proudly looks at her daughter. Trav watches her walk to the group of women all gathered up next to the dining table, ready to inspect her hand.

The sudden gasp coming from the living room makes the three people in the kitchen laugh. 

“Oh my god, darling, it’s huge.” 

“Wow, is this a whole ass diamond?” 

“Trav, how many carats is this thing? Fifty?” Alison yells back into the kitchen, and Taylor looks back at him and blushes. He smiles at the round of women, even Andrew and Jett just look at the ring in pure fascination. 

“Nah, just ten.” he mumbles, walking up to where his fiancé stands. 

“Ten?” Andrew asks in shock and now it’s Trav who blushes. “That’s.. what? Half a million?” 

“Andrew!” Maureen just rolls her eyes at her husband being so rude and asking Travis how much he paid for Taylor’s engagement ring whilst Taylor is standing right there. 

“Maybe. Maybe more.” Trav smiles, placing a hand in Taylor’s back. He can see that she’s in awe again, almost uncomfortable to know that he spent so much money just for her. And he loves that about her. He loves that she has so many good reasons to not be uncomfortable about it, but she is. 

“I just wanted the best for my lady.” 

Taylor blushes, and smiles at him. For the first time really after today’s fight. She feels him get closer, pressing a gentle kiss onto her head. She leans in to him for a moment and it feels like reconnecting. Even though they had a bad fight today, they still love each other. They always will. 

“It’s fine though. Tay needs to buy groceries for the next five to ten years, and my bank account will hopefully recover.” he jokes and everyone laughs a bit, even Taylor. 

“I love it so much.” she looks at her ring again. “It’s weird, because every time I look at it it becomes even more stunning. Just.. literally how I envisioned my engagement ring when I was a little girl. Means so much to me. I think it’s because.. like.. I will wear this every day for the rest of my life. Like, no matter how old I am, I will forever have this on my finger now.” she smiles at her ring, then back at Travis. He just reaches for her hand with her ring and kisses her hand gently. Her aunts surrounding her just smile at the two of them. But beneath all the giggles and laughs of her aunts, Taylor hasn’t missed her dad’s look from the end of the room. Her dad, mom and Austin have seen the ring before. But his watery eyes, his little smile, and how he quickly left the room to not get too emotional right now hasn’t remained unnoticed by her. 

“Alright, who wants a drink?” Andrea calls from the kitchen and the little crowd surrounding Taylor and Travis slowly dissolves. 

She still smiles at her ring one last time, and Travis notices. He quietly smiles at her too, then leans in to press his lips against her bangs to kiss her once. 

“You are still a stubborn asshole, but I love you.” he whispers, and she giggles as he walks away to get himself a drink. 

~

Travis stands right next to Austin, trying to focus on their current conversation about their favorite childhood movies. After Austin made him the best Christmas present ever last year, in the form of his favorite DVD, the two of them really connected on their taste in movies. And he enjoys connecting with her family, getting closer to them and understanding more and more why she loves them so much. It’s gotten dark outside now. The beautiful, if cloudy summer day slowly coming to an end. He struggles to focus on Austin talking, feels his eyes every so often wandering off to Taylor. The majority of her family, including her, are sitting outside on the patio around the big family table. Andrea has lid up candles all over the terrace and it couldn’t be cozier around the house right now. Taylor definitely has her taste for interior design from her mother. Andrea is the only other person he knows who can instantly turn a place into a home. By making it warm and cozy. 

“Austin, Trav, do you want red wine or white wine?” Scott asks the two boys standing in the doorframe to the kitchen. He’s just made his way inside to get more drinks for everyone. Austin pats Travises shoulder, just follows his dad to help. 

For a moment, Travis just stands there alone, able to look outside through the big kitchen window. He can see Taylor sit on the side of the big round table. She looks tired and drained. He noticed that she barely touched any of the food tonight. Her mother has made a comment about Taylor’s lack of appetite earlier, and it surprised him that she didn’t react. Instead, she’s been sitting there, drinking one glass of wine after the other. And it makes him angry. It frustrates him. It’s been less than twenty-four hours since she’s been attached to an IV drip. Yet she’s sitting here, not taking care of her body, ignoring her health, pretending like last night never happened, after making him feel like crap for caring about her earlier today. He loves her. He loves her more than anyone else in this world, and he knows that she usually appreciates him caring for her. But her words today really stuck with him. He won’t be able to make this right for her, unless she wants to make it right herself.

Travis slowly makes his way outside to join the family. Taylor has saved a seat for him next to her. He just sits down, already feels her cold hand land on his arm. She pulls him closer, presses a kiss on his lips while listening to her cousin’s story about her weird neighbours. She tastes like white wine. Their fingers intertwine immediately and he can feel the shivers coming from her. 

“Want me to get you a blanket?” 

She nods immediately. She’s drunk. He can tell by the look in her eyes. 

“Thanks, baby.” 

Travis gets up and Andrea already points him to the where the TV blanket is at inside her house. He can already hear the conversation around the table shift while reaching for the blanket with his hands and making his way outside again.

“Darling, it’s still in the 70s right now. How can you be freezing?” Alison asks with worry on her face, everyone now turning to Taylor who still shivers slightly. She feels a bit overwhelmed suddenly, whilst Travis makes his way outside again. He places the blanket around her shoulders, helps her warm up a little. 

“Well, guess that’s what happens when you don’t sleep at night and not eat anything during the day.” he mumbles, and the second these words have left his mouth is when he knows it was a mistake. Taylor suddenly doesn’t say anything anymore, just signals him to let go. She reaches for the ends of the blanket and warms herself now. An awkward silence is suddenly surrounding the table. 

“Why, did you not sleep well, honey?” Andrea now asks, can immediately feel the tension between her daughter and her fiancé. She just shakes her head annoyed, reaching for her wine glass. 

“I’m fine, mom. Just didn’t sleep well last night.” 

Travis doesn’t say anything, just pours himself another glass of wine and keeps on listening to the conversations. He knows she’s mad about his comment, but he was right. After everything she’s been through last night she should take care of herself. Not this. 

It takes one more hour of Taylor sitting under the blanket and listening to everyone’s conversations while ignoring him, until she feels her eyes shut down fully. Travis keeps on looking over to her, and notices that she’s close to passing out on the chair next to him. The warm blanket doesn’t really help her not get more and more sleepy. He knows she’s mad about his previous comment, but he decides to ignore her pout from before, just wanders with his hand to her head and fixes a curly strand of  hair behind her ear. 

“Wanna head home?” he asks then, and Taylor nods. After all, the majority of guests have already left and Taylor needs to go to bed. She can feel herself having reached her limits for today. And as angry as she is with Travis, she doesn’t argue, just thankfully accepts his arm around her waist, guiding her inside to say goodbye to the rest of her family before finding her purse and making her way out of the family house. As soon as they both approach the car, Travis holds the door open for her, making sure she gets in safely before wandering to his side of the backseat. The car starts and Travis finds her fumbling with her seat belt. 

“Need any help?” 

“Leave me alone.” she mumbles and he sighs, just leans his head back and shakes his head. He’s in pure disbelief that she still finds the strength in herself to fight with him. He really can’t believe it. He knows this is the alcohol speaking in her but he’s tired. Tired of her making this so difficult for both of them. 

“I literally have known you for a full year now but I’ve never witnessed you the way you are today.” he says, full of anger and hurt. She doesn’t reply for a moment, just takes out her phone, pretending to be busy. 

“All I did last night was take care of you, get you safely to your hotel room, call you a doctor, give you the time you need to recover, get you food, get you water, tell you to take care of yourself, spend time with your family. And all you do is treat me like a fucking idiot, accuse me of wanting you to be weak, telling me i’m an asshole. Seriously, is that what you think I deserve, Tay?” 

“Well, you had no problem calling me out in front of my entire family when I specifically asked you not to. Thanks a lot for that by the way.” 

“It was literally the truth. After last night, you.. you didn’t eat, you had at least three glasses of wine and..” 

“Since when are you the food police? Since when do I need your permission to drink or not drink or eat or not eat? Did I miss something? I’m in a relationship Trav, not prison.” she yells at him and he looks at her but finds no words. He has no idea who this person next to him is. But what he really understands in this moment, is that she’s not okay. Last night must have shook her more to her core than he could’ve ever imagined. There’s no other explanation for this mean, hurtful, insensitive version of his girlfriend today. She’s never, not once, said anything like this to him.

“It’s literally impossible to talk to you right now.” he just mumbles, clearly pissed off, just looking out of the car window. 

A few minutes later, the car comes to a stop inside the garage of her Nashville apartment. Security helps them out of car and into the elevator, and in less than two minutes, they both stand in her penthouse apartment and Taylor turns the little kitchen light on.

“I’ll sleep in the guest room tonight.” 

“Yes, please.” she just replies, doesn’t even look at him. “Also, no need to wake me before your flight tomorrow. Just.. do whatever you want.” she adds, and leaves him speechless once more. Just yesterday she told him how sad she was that he will need to leave to go to LA for a couple of days to meet with his agency and discuss a few upcoming projects. Just yesterday she was thinking about accompanying him for a day, just to fly back to Europe after that. Just yesterday, she was the person he fell so deeply in love with. And he can’t seem to find her anywhere right now. 

“Thanks, Tay. You can call me when you are yourself again.” 

Taylor doesn’t reply, just grabs one of the water bottles from her fridge and makes her way upstairs, leaving him to himself. 

~

She wakes up suddenly, her heart racing, her breathing patterns almost as fast as humanly possible. It takes a second for her to realize where she is, to realize that it was just a bad dream. For a moment, she sits up and reaches for her phone. 3:38am. She falls back onto her pillow, just realizes now how sweaty she really is. Her hand wanders to her forehead, and for a moment she just lays there and wipes the sweat from her forehead. The entire pillow is wet, just like the part of their blanket she just slept under. She swallows hard, needs to take a deep breath to remind herself that that was only a dream. She was on stage, in a stadium, and everyone of the thousands of people in front of her were people she knew somehow. Faces she once knew, faces she once trusted, people she used to love. And they all started to come for her, trying to kill her in the most horrific ways. There were knives, and guns. Ropes and pills. There was choking, there was strangling. And she had to just let it happen. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t run. She couldn’t scream. Her body was limb. All she could do was watch it happen to her. She was all alone. Nobody cared for her. Nobody gave her mercy. 

For a moment, she cradles her head in her hands, feels the tears coming in. She looks around in the dark, realizing that Travis must have come into the bedroom at some point because his pillow is missing. She can’t believe it. She can’t believe they fought like this. Just in this moment, Olivia meows from the end of the room, already jumping onto the bed. With tears in her eyes, Taylor comforts her, realizing then that she’s freezing. After all, she managed to sweat through the thick material of her chiefs shirt. With shaking hands, she gets up, walks into her walk in closet and reaches for another one of his big shirts. For a moment, she holds the fabric close to her nose, breathes it in. It smells just like him. Him. 

The only person on this planet who would’ve fought for her. Who would’ve tried his best to keep these thousands of people from torturing her. He would’ve done his best to shield her. And what does she do? Push him aside. Hurt him exactly where it hurts him the most. She loves how emotional he is. Loves what a good person he is. How loving he is. And instead of worshipping him for it, she managed to make him feel like absolute crap about it.

With a tear streaming down her face, she pulls the sweaty shirt from her body, pulls the new shirt over her naked torso and turns the light off again. Her vision is blurry from her tears now and for a moment, Taylor hesitates. She then decides to make her way down the dark hallway, until she reaches the guest room. To her surprise, she can see the nightlight still being on, and as soon as she approaches the door frame, she can find him tucked into bed, fully awake, watching something on tv. Benjamin is sleeping on the carpet next to him. He always loves being near Travis. 

She knocks on the door once, and he looks at her in surprise. 

“You’re up?” 

“Yeah, can’t sleep.” he replies. 

She doesn’t say anything, just slowly steps in. He can immediately see her moist hair standing from her head in all directions. Her eyes are red and watery, and he knows something is up. 

“Are you..” 

“Can we talk?” she says says with a breaking voice, and he can hear the tears immediately. He sits up and nods at her.

“Sure.” 

She sits down in bed next to him, and he can see a tear running down her cheek. 

“Are you sweaty or did you take a shower?” 

“I had a really bad nightmare. I’m.. I’m really sweaty and disgusting, sorry.” she cries, just looking at her fingers. He can’t help but smirk over her comment, his finger already wandering to the little curl standing from her head, playing with it once. 

“Don’t apologize. I’m sorry you had a nightmare.” 

He can clearly see that she’s crying, and as much as he hates to see her this way, he appreciates that they can finally talk. 

“I’m really sorry, Trav.” she mumbles then and looks up at him and right into his eyes. There she is again. The soul he loves so much. She’s still there. 

“I’m sorry, too.” 

“No, no. You didn’t.. you didn’t do anything. You literally are the best person. And.. I was just so horrible to you.” she whimpers quietly. 

Trav’s hand slowly wanders onto her neck, stroking her moist hair behind her neck. She’s got goosebumps all over her skin. She must be freezing. 

“Come here.” he mumbles, already pulling her into his arms. He hugs her for what feels like an eternity, and he can feel her little cries on his shoulder.

“Can you forgive me, Trav. I.. I just don’t know what’s wrong with me. I..”

“Of course. I love you so much, baby girl.” he whispers into her ear and kisses her head a few times. “I’m also sorry. For.. for some of the things I said. I can get really mean when I’m mad. I was also overreacting. I know it doesn’t help you when I pretend like you almost died last night. It’s just.. I worry too much about you. And seeing you knocked out the way I did last night was just scary. I should’ve not.. not kept on telling you how bad it was. Wasn’t really helpful of me.” 

She shakes her head, slowly lets go of him. She really looks destroyed right now. Her hair everywhere, her face red from crying. 

“No, no. I love how much you care for me. I literally have never had this with anyone. No one’s ever cared for me like you do.” she says, a tear streaming down her face. With his finger he wipes the tear away, both of his big hands now placed in hers. 

“It’s just.. I feel like most of the time, I have the entire world against me. Because it’s not just fans, Trav. It’s stalkers. It’s crazies, people who threaten to kill me and my family. But.. I’ve been able to build a team around me to pretend like I’m safe. Truth is I’m never safe. Last night was a reminder that.. I can have the best people around me, you included, and if someone wants me dead they literally can if they really want to.” she cries, and it kills him. The thought of her not feeling safe just kills him. 

“I just had a dream that everyone in front of the eras stage wanted to kill me. Strangle me, shoot me, kill me with a knife, poison me. And some of these people were people I once knew. It’s just.. I’m really fucked up, Trav. I know you fell in love with me because you think I’m this happy, pretty, funny person but truth is I’m literally a shot deer on the hunt most of the time and..” 

“Hey, Tay. Stop it.” he interrupts her, not able to stand her crying like this. She covers her face in her hands and he just pulls her closer, hugging her tightly once more. 

“I didn’t just fall in love with the happy, pretty, funny Tay. I also love the fucked up Tay. The one who tries to push me away when it gets ugly. And I also love Taylor Swift the CEO. I also love hormonal Tay. She’s a gem. She bakes all day and cries at everything.” He can feel her laugh once between her tears. 

“What I’m trying to say is… I love you, no matter what. And at the end of the day, I hate to break it to you but no one is ever safe. You are not, and I’m not either. But we’re on this rollercoaster called life together, baby, and we get to learn and grow from everything that happens. Last night happened. And it was horrible. Let’s cry about it today, let’s sit down with your security team tomorrow and we’ll see what we can do to never have something like this happen again. Let’s talk about it. To the people you love, who support you. To a therapist, someone who can help you deal with it. I think these things are just.. life, baby. Unfortunately, this is life. But how we deal with it, that’s what we can decide and control.” 

She listens to him talking and she can’t believe he’s real. Like a child in a candy store, Taylor just looks up at him, clings onto his lips and follows every word he says. She can’t believe he told her once that he’s not good with words. Can’t believe he thinks of himself as the dumb little brother who’s nothing but a fuck up. When in reality, he’s more mature than she could ever be. Quite literally the most intelligent person she’s ever met. 

“I’m honestly really fucked up since last night, too. Because I had to see the person I love most in the world completely unconscious and drugged by a stranger. And you know how guilty I felt. But.. I had a good cry this morning. As you know. And I felt better after that. And instead of trying that, you literally just pretended to be fine all day, and instead turned into a wine drunk monster that scared the living shit out of me.” 

She chuckles again, now wiping another tear away. She nods. He’s so right. She can’t believe how right he is in this moment. 

“I was so angry at you today. I think I was more angry at myself. For.. for letting this happen to me.” 

“Some things are not in your control, baby.” 

She doesn’t say anything, takes a deep breath and a last shaky breath escapes her. Travis looks into her eyes, and all she can find is safety. Safety and forgiveness. 

“You know what’s really weird?” she says quietly, nothing but the tv light flickering in the dark and his warm hands securely on her back now. She felt so cold in bed before, but now she’s warm again. 

“I used to think I felt safe with you because you’re just a giant NFL player who can break anyone’s nose in a split second and is taller than anyone in my team.” he laughs quietly at her statement, both his hands still safely around her. 

“But right now, I actually feel like, I feel safe with you because you’re.. just.. a good person. You.. you would never hurt me. You just.. love me, even when I’m a bitch and you pick up my mom’s smelly dog and get my cousin a jersey he’s asked for half a year ago and…” she feels herself getting emotional again, her hands wandering to his cheeks. 

“Maybe you can’t save me from the world or myself, but you can still make me feel so so safe, Trav. No one’s ever made me feel this way before.”

He smiles at her, his lips finding her forehead again. He kisses her curly bangs a few times. His big hand securely on her head. 

“Forgive me?” 

He looks at her, just smiles. It’s not even a question for him. 

“Of course. Nothing to forgive you for. Let’s go to bed, baby girl.”  

She doesn’t argue, just nods. She’s exhausted. Deeply exhausted. Emotionally and physically. 

“We can’t go to the bedroom though.” she mumbles, slowly getting comfortable under his warm sheets right next to him now. 

“Why not?” 

“I literally got so sweaty that all of our sheets are drenched now. I’m disgusting, baby. We have to sleep here.” 

She makes him laugh once more, and he just nods, turns off the tv with one click and helps her get comfortable under the sheets of the guest room bed. With one swift motion, he pulls her closer, lets her be the little spoon while using his arm as her pillow and holding her hand tightly. It takes less than three minutes and she’s fully asleep. With his nose deep in her naked skin, he closes his eyes and allows himself to drift off, too. 

~

Taylor opens her tired eyes, needs a moment to realize why she’s in the guest bedroom of her Nashville home. Her head moves once, and she pulls the soft blanket closest again. She yawns once, suddenly feels a massive amount of relief on her chest. She’s so glad they could talk last night. So glad she had a good cry. So glad she opened up to him. So glad that someone like him is her partner in life. 

Taylor’s head is still pounding and she feels run down. But it’s okay. He was right. It’s okay to take a moment to cry before moving on. 

As if she was run over by a truck once more, Taylor turns around, mentally and physically drained by the last two days, almost feeling unable to move. She wonders why Trav has left the bed already. Is it really so late? She suddenly remembers that he had to catch his flight to Los Angeles. 

Frantically, she searches for her phone to check the time. She left it in the bedroom. Did he really leave without waking her, because that’s what she threw against his head in all her anger yesterday? She can’t believe herself sometimes. Can’t believe how horrible she treated him yesterday. She feels herself getting sad again. She can’t believe she won’t see him for the next week. Can’t believe she’s all by herself now to deal with all of this. She knows she’s not alone, she knows he’s always just a phone call away. But she’d be lying if she said she’s okay to be on her own for a while now, when really: she’s not. The lump in her throat is growing bigger and bigger. She slowly sits up, then lands on her feet and rubs her eyes to wake up. She slowly stands up to search for her phone in the bedroom, which she left after her horrible nightmare last night. But instead of making her way back to the bedroom, Taylor notices something else. There’s a specific smell coming from downstairs. Did he leave her breakfast? Barefoot and wearing nothing else but his huge shirt and her thong, she slowly walks downstairs. A smile creeps up on her face when she finds a pink bag from her favorite breakfast shop on the counter. He got her her favorite breakfast sandwich and a fresh juice before leaving. She steps up, happily unwraps the sandwich and was about take a bite when the front door suddenly opens and the big man she knows and loves so much casually makes his way inside. 

“You’re up!” he says with a smile on his face and Taylor looks at him in confusion. He just takes off his sunglasses casually, places them on top of the counter. She turns her head to the clock on the wall. 1.26PM. What the hell is he still doing here? 

“Where.. why are you not in LA? Did you miss your flight?” she instantly feels responsible for it, after all she was the one keeping him up for two nights in a row. 

“I cancelled it. Just went to the Apple Store a few blocks from here to pick up a charger. For some reason, mine broke this morning. I checked yours but somehow yours doesn’t fit into mine.” 

She watches him unpack his gadgets, not impressed by her confused look at all. 

“How are you feeling? Did you sleep better after your nightmare?” he asks, unpacking his charger and trying to fit it into the outbox of his MacBook on the counter. 

“Trav, you.. why are you not in LA? What do you mean you cancelled it?” she doesn’t understand what is going on. He was so excited to fly out and meet his agents to chat about a few upcoming movie projects. He just steps closer to her holding the tuna sandwich in her hand, the one he bought her this morning. He takes a bold bite out of the sandwich, just laughing at her outraged face. His full mouth wanders to her soft cheek and he steels her one quick kiss. 

“I cancelled it because..” he chews, still standing right in front of his sleepy fiancé who looks at him in confusion. “I want to be there for you. I realized I can do these meetings online. And.. I think it would be good for me to be here the next week. And when you fly to Paris, I’ll go back to KC for a few days and visit you in Sweden to see the shows.”

She doesn’t really know what to say, just places the sandwich back on the counter in front of her. 

“But.. I don’t want you to miss out on..” 

“I’m not, Tay. I promise.” he assures her. “Coffee?” he asks her and she nods. Still tired from the past days, she just sits down on one of the bar stools, watches him work his magic with the coffee machine. 

“How are you feeling though? You didn’t answer my question.” he asks. 

“I’m happy you’re here. But.. I also feel weird about you cancelling your work thing for me.” 

He doesn’t say anything, just finishes getting her cup of coffee ready and placing it right in front of her. 

“Why is that?” he asks, she and she shruggs her shoulders. 

“You shouldn’t have to jeopardize your career for me.”

He chuckles once, watches her sip on the hot coffee once. He can tell she enjoys this beverage a lot. Both her hands around the big cup, almost as if she’s warming herself from within. 

“I’m not jeopardizing anything, Tay. It’s called priorities.” 

She places her cup in front of her again and looks at him. He just stands close to her, his hand casually on her naked bum, his mouth finding the little spot in her neck he loves kissing so much. 

“You’re my priority right now. Other times, football might be the priority again. But right now, my priority is to be with my future wife to support her. Very simple. I can easily move these meetings to late August. It’s nothing that needs to be done right now.” 

She can’t believe his words right now, can’t believe it can be this simple and logical. It’s this moment she realizes: It’s possible. If you want to, you can. If you are someone’s priority, they will let their actions speak. It’s something she never really got right before, it seems. 

Her small hand lands on his big one, right on top of her kitchen counter. And she smiles. For the first time in days, she really does. She gets closer to him, kissing him passionately. Both of her lips meeting his. Her eyes closed and her hand on his cheek. After a few seconds she pulls back, his forehead meeting hers. 

“I’m so glad you’re here.” 

He smiles at her, can tell she’s getting emotional. He just places his hand on her cheek now, kisses her forehead a few times.

“I’ll always be here, no matter what. You and our family will always have priority. I promise. Ride or die, baby.” 

The End.

[chocotonez]

skz reaction to their s/o feeling nauseous

a/n: I think this is months late so I’m so incredibly sorry and I hope you’re not still feeling nauseous anon!!

warnings/genre: mentions of throwing up, sickness, no reason stated for feeling sick, g/n reader, lmk if anything else should be tagged!

chan

-so incredibly worried immediately

-if you’re outside he’ll immediately be like “need to go home?? Should we go home?”

-calls you his “poor baby” while cradling you dramatically

-“food? water? cold?? hot??? fever??? chills?!?!?”

-strokes your hair while trying to ease it in anyway he knows possible, even looks up quick ways to help you

-he’s more of a healer and fixer, so he wouldn’t just want to distract you but fix the problem entirely

-lots of kisses until you feel better!!

lee know

-immediately has you in bed with a damp towel over your forehead and fanning you while also making chicken noodle soup and giving you the best of the best treatment

-probably the type to drop “is it because you’re on your phone all the time?” and scold you even if that’s not the reason at all 😭

-he’s devoted to taking care of you but also he hates seeing you in pain, which is why he can seem like he’s scolding u or smth like that

-babies you a bit to make you laugh, pinches your cheeks but his giggles are softer and he tries to relax so he doesn’t make you feel even more sick LOL

-“I’ll always be here to take care of you”

changbin

-notices but he doesn’t want you to feel super duper scrutinized especially if it’s something you can handle yourself

-like dizzy spells and whatnot, but once it hits that your head is spinning and your vision is getting spotty he panics

-“hey let’s get you some water? do you wanna go home? wanna go lay down?” and is dropping a lot of suggestions because you know ur body best!

-but he’ll obviously swoop into take care of you if you’re alright with it, kissing your cheek and trying to comfort you and smother u with love because love is the best medicine

-brushes your hair out of your face and lets you lay on his chest, he wants to remind you that he’s here for you always

hyunjin

-very relaxed about it, not in the way he doesn’t care but in the way he’s confident that he can take care of you !

-he makes sure to ask what you’d like to do though, he’s not really the type to be insistent on getting you to rest but he’ll gladly carry you to bed and get you some water and an advil

-cuddles you non stop and tries to take your mind off of it by telling stories about his day, tries to get you to doze off

-respects your space a lot and understands how it can get overbearing to have someone huddling you when you feel sick

-but no matter if you want him a thousand feet away or holding onto you like a koala bear he’ll be there for you with warm soup and a damp cloth

han

-has a flare for dramatics

-it’s a dizzy spell and you’re nauseous, and obviously he loves you and cares for you but unless there’s a more prominent issue he’ll just take care of you as per usual but with some theatrics to make you smile

-he’s a big distractor unlike Chan, he knows you can get over a nausea episode but he wants to help you get through it through methods other than painkillers and gallon bottles of water

-“oh woe is me, the love of my life has fallen ill to some treacherous curse! fortunately their handsome prince is here to save them with true love’s kiss…” “please just give me the Tylenol”

-pokes your cheek to make sure you’re still alive if you start dozing off because it makes him nervous

-takes funny photos to commemorate the occasion (you don’t think it’s that funny)

felix

-I think he’s much more insistent on you getting rest and taking it easy

-I think that he takes your health very seriously, as he knows personally that it’s best to take care of yourself and he just doesn’t ever want you to be hurt/in pain/uncomfortable

-he might seem a little panicky and rushed with trying to get you feel better but that’s because he really does but want to see you happy and okay again!

-you know those big water bottles that have little inspirational messages encouraging you to drink water?? he gets those for you while you rest up

-if it’s just a short dizzy spell he’ll immediately sit you down with a damp cloth and get you some food

-honestly he’s just the sweetest ever and very attentive to you no matter how minor or fleeting your nausea is

seungmin

-“I’m gonna throw up on you” “don’t you dare”

-has fun with it LOL, but not because he doesn’t care but entirely because he wants to see you smile and distract you from your head spinning

-“heeeeyyyy i brought you some noddle soup but if you throw up I’m gonna call my mom to take care of you because that’s really gross and I don’t wanna deal with that!! xoxo love you so much!”

-but that’s entirely a joke because the second you’re seriously discomforted and hurt he’s on the verge of tears and tending to you

-he’s gonna make it fun so you don’t just…feel nasty and gross and bad, because if you’re stuck with a dizzy spell then he’s gonna make you smile somehow

-sings “you make me feel…better!” to the tune of twice’s feel special while getting you some painkillers

jeongin

-takes it very seriously because he wants to be a good boyfriend for you

-I think that every time he faces a boyfriend scenario (you’re upset, nauseous, you need a ride somewhere…) he really pushes himself to be the best he can be for you

-but also it’s embarrassing if he gets all cheesy on you and he gets flustered if he has to take your temperature or if you start leaning on him because you’re still his super pretty significant other and you always make his heart beat fast

-doesnt really know how to approach on comforting you so he’ll just try to find a solution (i.e nearly calls emergency services)

-“it’s okay! everything’s a-okay!!” and he’s more worried than you are (mainly because the world is spinning and you are this close to leaning over the nearest trash can, so you don’t really have the energy to be as anxious about this as he is)

-“jeongin, babe, can we just go home?? I don’t think you need to take me to the hospital…” “but like…are you sure??”

[blood-grove]

odd adjustments

here -> part 2

adoptive!soap and ghost + adopted!reader

× pairing: soapghost

× summary: the now retired couple decides that there house is feeling a bit empty besides there two cats and german shepard.

× tws: medication, mentions of ptsd, angst, minor injuries, (idk what the adoption process is like so were just jumping into it) <- more relevant for the second part but still here for a tw :3

It was raining outside again,

You were busy packing up your clothes though along with Miss Sullivan who was just redoing your messy folding which you appreciated she was rambling on about some old story about her own kids all grown up and gone.

"This is a very big move for you y'know hun?"

"Yeah- I um know."

"There a very lovely couple y'know—"

"I know! I-" You paused shifting a bit as you sorted threw your sketchbooks.

"I know Miss Sullivan."

She sighed as she smiled her eyes crinkling as she turned to you.

"This is going to be a great home for you..There good people! I saw how you got along with them so well"

"Mhm-"

"Oh dear I just- I'm just so happy for you.." She sniffled as she tugged you into a crushing hug which you just mumbled your thanks.

You felt nauseous as you zipped up your bag but mentally decided throwing up in your future forever caretakers home would make it ever so harder to try and act like a normal kid around them.

Which you were also failing at.

But they didn't look normal either, Not in a offensive way at all.

They were a strange couple very warm and welcoming though when they met you the shorter one his name was John? You think he was really trying his hardest not to overstep and you liked that compared to other people who had very much been too much for you.

The other guy? Simon, You couldn't help but think the man looked intimidating but cool the both of you didn't talk much when they were letting each of them have one and one time with you but when you did talk it was nice it was clear he was more of a listener than a talker.

The both of them were nice, You found out they were ex-military but not much else it was briefly brought up and they moved onto the pets they had at home two cats one named Old man the other Gunpowder which you thought was a choice.

They also had a dog named Riley you forgot the breed she was but it was clear Simon seemed excited? nervous? You couldn't really read the man well at all not to say he was emotionless but he was just very hard to understand.

Your getting lost in your own thoughts again, You sighed as you pulled along your suitcase the wheel squeaking as you pulled it along you've had it for so long your surprised it hasn't fallen off.

Shifting uncomfortably you walked towards the main entrance Miss Sullivan walking beside you you were so zoned out you didn't even notice. When you made it to the lobby it was just Simon in the waiting room you which you were confused but they were adults and both probably had jobs you figured well paying ones you guessed from how quick the interview between them and Miss Sullivan went she clearly thought these men where the best option for you.

He noticed you both as he got up slipping his phone back into his pocket, He always seemed to wear a black face mask you guessed he had some kind of condition maybe a germaphobe? Would be weird to get a kid if that's the case maybe its not servere.

"Ohh I'm going miss you honey—" Before you could even slip away she was already pulling you into her infamous bear hugs nearly crushing the air out of you as she placed a kiss on your forehead thankfully not leaving a bright red kiss mark there.

"I-I'll miss you too Miss Sullivan-" You quietly gasped as she finally stopped hugging you and you took that que as to go over to Simon before she pulled you into another one.

"You have a a umbrella?"

You shook your head as you shifted you weren't technically lying the raggedy old one that you kept purely for memory now probably would fall apart if you tried to open it.

He hummed as he just pulled out a small fitting umbrella from his pocket handing it over as he sad something to Miss Sullivan you were paying attention as you figure out how to open the umbrella before Simon started walking back picking up with uncanny ease.

"You ready?"

"Mhm."

The ride to your new house was quiet Simon wasn't talkative along asking if you were alright and shortly explaining why John wasn't here something about getting your room ready and making a special lunch which you thought was a bit much but who were you to say no to free food?.

a/n; this will just have two parts :3

[kakushigotofanclub]

Saneoba friends with sfw benefits fic still real but I come home from work every day completely drained of all energy (in a good way, but still) and I don’t foresee myself finishing this fic for quite a while. Which is why I’m cheating and posting another piece from it~

***

Despite the chill from the cold still seeping into his bones, his face felt like it was on fire. He stared straight ahead over Obanai’s head to the opposite cave wall. God, this was humiliating. Would they ever be able to look each other in the eye again after tonight? What if Obanai hated him now?

…So? So what if Obanai hated him? Why would he even care about that? Sanemi liked Obanai because he was a good demon slayer; that was all. There was nothing personal about the way he regarded him. They were co-workers. And they were both freezing their asses off, and sharing body heat was a perfectly reasonable thing to do right now. It didn’t mean anything. They were just trying to stay warm.

Even though he tried to assure himself, Sanemi’s thoughts were racing. What if this ruined his relationship with Obanai forever? Was he really going to lose his only friend for the sake of being a little less uncomfortable for one night? Sanemi tried to tell himself this didn’t matter. He needed to stay warm, because if he got hypothermia he would be useless. He was only using Obanai to stay warm. That’s all this was. There was nothing intimate about this situation at all.

But it sure felt intimate. It felt uncomfortably intimate. It felt like a level of intimacy Sanemi didn’t think he would ever experience again in his life. It was like the nights when he was a kid, when he and his siblings would sleep like this when it was cold.

But now, compared to the years he’d gone without exchanging displays of affection with another person, that warm, fuzzy feeling he remembered just felt hot and uncomfortable, sitting in his chest and the pit of his stomach, as if it were pretending to be dread. It was like eating something with such an excessive amount of sugar it made him nauseous.

Even so, Sanemi shakily and hesitantly wrapped an arm around Obanai.

Obanai immediately stiffened up with a nearly inaudible gasp.

Sanemi kept his arm tense, like he hadn’t decided whether he was going to leave it there.

For a moment neither of them moved. They just stayed there frozen in place, barely even breathing. Was this…okay? Was this crossing a boundary?

Then, finally, Obanai exhaled slowly, and relaxed in Sanemi’s hold.

…Okay. This was…okay. It was fine.

[honeyblonde8929]

Our Home - Ellie X Reader Fanfiction.

TW - mentions of blood, bruises, wounds, swearing, slight NSFW

• You were injured during a patrol walk and Ellie tends to your abrasions. While talking, things get a little… heated.

*

“Fuck! Is she okay?”

Joel bought you to Ellie’s house by horseback. Your head was on Shimmers hips, it was making your head sway uncomfortably. The nauseous headache that was creeping through your forehead made you want to throw up. Though, it would be a bit embarrassing if you did that in front of your favourite people. Ellie rushed to you, clomping her boots into the thick snow. She was breathing rapidly, you could see the clouds of frost exhaling her lips. She was cradling your head when Shimmer stopped at the porch.

“Yeah.” Joel sighed, turning his head to you.“She’s just a bit banged up that’s all.”

Ellie swallowed a lump in her throat. Slightly rubbing her hands together in an anxious jitter. You could feel the vibrations tickling the back of your scruffed-up hair.

“…Infected?”

Joel got off Shimmer and you felt Ellie’s biceps poke into your ribs as she carried you through to her house.

Joel cleared his throat. “Not that I know of.”

“Okay. I’ll check her through.”

Ellie sat you down onto her sofa and propped a pillow under your knees. She stroked the back of your hand, noticing the cuts on your fingers. You enjoyed the way she was in charge and taking care of you, even though this wasn’t the best of moments.

“Thanks, Joel.” Ellie spoke, her voice cracking a little.

Ellie went up to Joel and gave him a small hug, they may not have been on the greatest of terms, but she wanted to still have a relationship with him. He held onto that hug like his life depended on it. He gently kissed the top of her hair, exchanged a few words and left. Ellie appreciated how hard he wanted it to work, to fix things. You should always be grateful for who you have. You don’t know how much time you have with them.

Ellie directed her attention to you. Thoughts circling her head, begging that you weren’t infected. It would break her.

“E-Ellie?”

“Shhhh. I’m here, alright? I said I would be, right?”

You chuckled slightly, blush tinging your cheeks, making your dimples poke through ever so slightly. Your head was in a blurry haze, a foggy mist, but having Ellie comforting you demolished the darkness and shone a beautiful light in between.

Ellie helped by taking your clothes off and heated some warm water in a bowl to soak your swollen feet, blisters cascaded across your heels. You’ve never exposed yourself to Ellie before, but you only trusted her with tending to your body.

“This’ll sting a bit okay? I just need to clean your cuts.”

She started by patting softly on the gashes running down your arm and upper chest. It hurt like hell, but you knew that this would quickly pass. Whinging from the stabbing pain, she went back to stroking your hand in reassurance. It sent warm tingles over your thighs, sending goosebumps from the chill. It made your lip quiver, you had to keep as quiet as possible to not freak her out.

“This is a bitch.” You locked your jaw to contain the agony. She was stitching your forearm with a thread and needle, you couldn’t tell which one was worse. Well, at least the bleeding has subsided now.

“You’re doing really well.”

Ellie looked into your eyes, examining them.

“I hope so!”

You tried to laugh but your ribs said otherwise, your lungs felt very weak, breathing in and out quickly to get oxygen in them.

“I said for you to shush.”

She whispered, Jesus that sent a hot flush over your body. She finished stitching your arm, thank fuck that’s over. And then she took your jacket and shirt off, luckily you were wearing a bra today, that would be a bit embarrassing.

There was a sharp exhale from Ellie, reverting her eyes away from staring at your black laced bra, you could feel the heaviness of the air around you both. It wasn’t uneasy, just… natural.

“Right, I can’t see any marks on your front. Can you turn over for me?”

You nodded, more than compliant to her orders. She supported your shoulders as you laid on your chest, feeling your stomach go up and down onto her springy sofa.

Ellie placed her hands on your spine, following her fingers, going downwards slowly. It was an unexplainable feeling, having her hands glide, cleaning your wounds and pressing into your bruises. Despite the soreness, her rough veiny hands brung you feelings you never felt for her. You shouldn’t be getting turned on from your friend gliding her fingers near your hips, but you savoured this moment, indulged in it.

“Thank God. Phew. No infections.”

You curled your toes in relief, you had some close calls on your patrol today, but made it through successfully by a thread. Your neck relaxed a little more onto the pillow and you rolled your strained writs, releasing clicks from the tension.

“Well, this calls for a celebration, El!”

She scoffed in amusement back to your response.

“Sorry, missy, I don’t have any Champange on me. I think that’s what it’s called.”

“No! I just-“

You sat up too fast and clutched into the grazes on your stomach. Ellie crunched her eyebrows together, giving a concerned look.

“Hey! None of this getting up. Stay put.”

She got up for you, what a gentlelady.

“Do you want a cup of coffee? I only keep it here for Joel-“

You butted in unexpectedly.

“Because you think it tastes like shit? Ha, Dina thinks so as well doesn’t she?”

Ellie snicked at you, holding the kettle in her hand.

“Stop it, you know i’m right. Now, you want some or not?”

You stared again into her eyes, they get you every time, sending butterflies fluttering in your lower stomach and making your heart twist and turn in God knows how many positions.

“I’ll annoy you and say… yes.”

Ellie’s teeth poked out, smiling wildly and shaking her head at the same time. She was cautious to say anything back and let it slide.

The brew warmed your fingertips while your thumb pulsated from the affection you received from her. She didn’t even bother to put a hoodie on, she still had her white bra on, not that you were complaining.

You sipped your coffee, it soothed your dry throat. You started up the conversation this time.

“So, are Jesse and Dina back together again? I haven’t caught up with them in a while.”

“Yes… I think? Jesse keeps telling me what a shitshow their relationship is.”

She sat by you, inches away from the back of your arms coming into contact. She continued her sentence.

“Dina doesn’t know what she wants, she just needs to figure things out, as always. But I couldn’t deal with the pressure of being on and off in a relationship. I’d rather stick together than take breaks all the time. Joel has taught me that if a person is worth it, you’ll see that you’re more compatible than you realise.”

Ellie fiddles with her hands, getting rid of the dirt under her fingernails.

“I realise that too.”

Your eyes, for the third time, locked in synchronised timing. It felt like you found the last piece to a complicated puzzle, you complimented each other, and now was the perfect time to become lost in it all.

“Hey…. I, um.”

Ellie was completely lost for words. She dropped her gaze onto your lips, looking so luscious and… kissable.

Your hand rubbed the back of her hair, becoming knotted by the motion. You put your coffee down with the other hand and glided it to her neck. A slight noise that you couldn’t make out swept out of her lips. And before you knew it, you shared your first kiss to her.

The rush of emotions flooded every place imaginable. You pulled her hair and she lifted your back onto the sofa, wary of you being hurt and controlling her thirst for you. It was so much in a few seconds but the ecstasy was worth anything.

Fuck being friends.

She was ravaging your bottom lip and bit into it, pulling back and kissed deeply into the corner of your neck. Your moans echoed the living room as your hands explored the muscles on her back, impatiently wanting to get the belt of her jeans off. Her quickened breaths salvaged your mind, and following suit to down below. You were soaked from the moment she first stared into your eyes this evening, and it certainly won’t be the last.

“Shit, Ellie, what are you doing to me?”

She was on top of you, pinning your wrists but careful of avoiding the stitch on your forearm. Ellie took your bra off, showing an arousing view on her perspective, her pupils dilated, in awe of how submissive and lovable you are. She grabbed them, placed her mouth near one of your nipples and looked up at you. You’ve won the lottery of a lifetime.

“What I should’ve done a long time ago.”

[empyreanwritings]

Two is Better than One

Pairing: Nanami Kento x fem!Reader x Gojo Satoru

Word Count: 921

Warnings: light smut, open relationship dynamics, nanami being a simp, jealous!gojo, she/her pronouns used, language (18+ only, Minors DNI)

Summary: You always get what you want - and tonight, you finally claim the man you've been craving.

“Does it hurt?” Nanami asks as he bends your foot back slightly. The action makes you hiss, but you don’t pull away. “It doesn’t seem broken. Just a bad sprain. Did you feel nauseous when it happened?” 

You shake your head. “No. It just hurts like a bitch.” 

“I told you not to dance like that in your heels.” 

“But you liked watching me dance, didn’t you?” 

Nanami is fully aware he is still holding onto your foot, and he can’t seem to let go. You slowly push it against his chest, allowing your knees to fall open as you move closer to the edge of the bed. His eyes drop only for a moment, but it’s enough to warm his face.. 

Of course, you’d be wearing those panties. The sheer black ones that let him see every inch of your pussy, and just along the hem is a sewn ‘S.’ 

The S is for Satoru. 

It should make him want to turn away and deny your advances but it somehow makes him feel more alive. To know that you want Nanami? The only person Gojo would burn the world down for despite claiming not to be your boyfriend? It makes him swallow hard with anticipation. He can’t help it. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” he murmurs once he manages to snap his gaze back up to your face. “You’re only interested in me right now because Gojo bailed on you.” 

You stick your lower lip out and whine. He’s tempted to crawl on top of you and bite it, but he stays in his spot. 

“That’s not true,” you retort. “You know I’ve always wanted you. Want both of you–is that so wrong?” 

Yes. 

Nanami inhales. 

No. 

If he were a different man, and if you were a different woman, perhaps he would feel disgusted. But if you wanted him and thirty other men, he’d let you simply because he wants to see you glow. 

Though, he supposes he’s thankful you only want Gojo and not thirty men. 

He chooses not to answer you because you already know what he’d say. Instead, he places a kiss on the inside of your ankle and slowly moves his lips up. You whimper and whine as he caresses his lips up to your knee. Your entire body is on fire, and the way you’re squirming makes Nanami want more. 

But he stops, and it only makes you pout more. 

“Gojo doesn’t share,” he reminds you. His hand slips underneath your dress to trace along the threaded initial. 

“Satoru doesn’t make the rules,” you breathe out. You lift your hips, hoping to get more of his touch, but he doesn’t budge; he just keeps tracing the small ‘S’ as if it were your neglected clit. 

“Oh, he doesn’t?” 

Nanami’s head snaps over to the man standing in the doorway. His face is neutral, but there’s a heat in his eyes that Nanami recognizes as his rage. Had Gojo’s bulge not been obvious as well, he might have thought this moment would spiral into a fight. 

You barely react to his presence as if you knew he would show up eventually. You sit up on your elbows, and a familiar cat-like smirk spreads across your lips. 

“Of course you don’t make the rules, Satoru,” you reply–purposefully trying to rile him up now. 

Nanami’s hand has not moved from under your dress, but you make sure he can’t even try to pull away by pressing your palm against the top of it. Gojo’s gaze flickers down to your hands, and the corners of his lips twitch. Nanami has no idea if that is a good thing or a bad thing. 

“And who does, princess?” Gojo stalks towards the two of you until he’s standing directly behind Nanami, where he kneels. His knees press against Nanami’s back, and he hates that it doesn’t make him uncomfortable. 

In fact, during all of this, he has somehow grown more turned on than he previously was. 

You hum. “I think we should let Nanami be in charge tonight, don’t you?” 

Gojo leans forward and gently grips Nanami’s chin, forcing the man to look up at him. Nanami’s brain screams at him to fight it–he signed up to be with you, not Gojo. But the way Gojo’s long fingers grip onto his chin makes him lose his train of thought. He’s slipping down a path of “I don’t just want her; I want both” and he doesn’t know how to feel about it. 

He chooses not to delve too deeply on that.

“Whaddya say, Kento?” Gojo teases, letting his thumb brush Nanami’s lower lip so casually. As if they are already lovers. “Should we give the princess what she wants?” 

Of all the ways he expected this night to go, this wasn’t on the list. He wonders if this is something you two plotted; he certainly wouldn’t put it past either of you to do so. At this moment, though, he doesn’t care. He wants to give into all of his desires. 

He wants to fuck you and make Gojo watch. He wants to have both of you bending to his will. 

He can think about the consequences later. 

“Yes,” he replies. Without breaking Gojo’s gaze, he pulls up the little ‘S’ until it’s several inches above you before letting it snap back against your soft skin. “We should give the princess what she needs.” 

Gojo smiles when he hears you whimper. It’s almost feral but still charming. “Well, alright then.”

[thecampjuicebox]

To have and to hold Pt. 1

A couple of weeks before Tav and Gale's wedding night, Tav is having second thoughts. Seeking out a past lover before the big night, turns her world upside-down.

Pairing: Tav(f) x Gale x Astarion

POV: 2nd person (Reader is Tav)

WARNINGS: 18+ Minors DNI | gentle smut | cheating | Biting | mutual pining | angst | slow burn | porn with feeling | Fingering | light choking | game spoilers

Trying my hand at a multi-part fic. Let me know what you think! This idea was suggested to me and I couldn't NOT do it. This is gonna be a long one. Buckle up!

Dress fittings, picking out decorations, venue tours, flowers, food choices, invitations and exchanging kisses with family and friends you've neglected to speak to since the Nether Brain had fallen - all aspects of a wedding you didn't seem to take into account when accepting Gale's proposal. You love him, yes. Unconditionally. With every fiber of your being, and those floating through the weave. And yet.. Regret bubbles up in your gut while staring at yourself in the mirror, hands smoothing the bone white lace on the bodice of your wedding dress. You fumble with the top of your corset, shifting uncomfortably at the stiff boning. Shadowheart stands behind you, one hand placed gently on your shoulder and she leans in to whisper to you, your pointed ears perking up.

"There's still time to turn back, you know."

Your heart thumps audibly in your chest and you sigh, picking at your fingernails. You didn't want to admit how frightened you are. You've never considered forever. Especially not with someone like Gale. Charming, handsome, intelligence unmatched. He was the perfect candidate. The man your late mother always dreamed you'd bring home to the family, Selune bless her. You choke back tears at the thought of her. How she won't be there for the big moment anyways, so why does it matter who you wed? You'd also never been to Waterdeep. You and Gale decided to stay in Baldur's Gate briefly while you made the preparations. It was easier that way. Gale had traveled back to Waterdeep for short bursts of time, mostly to see that Tara, his tressym and trusted friend, was well taken care of. You decided to stay back every time, much to Gale's dismay. Something about making the trek to your soon to be forever home made you uneasy any time he'd ask. You've traveled all over Faerun and back. Hells, you'd even plunged into Avernus more times than you'd be willing to admit. The idea of spending your days in a tower with a tressym, a husband, and an endless supply of books was not how you thought you'd end your travels, though. Mrs. Dekarios. You'd take his last name, obviously. Wear it as a badge of honor. Meet his family, bare his children. Gods.. Children. The idea makes you nauseous, hot bile threatening to fight its way up your throat. Shaking your head, you tune back in to the sounds of the quaint Baldurian dress shop. You were no stranger to Figaro's. You came to enjoy the lavish clothing he offers. Textures your fingers never felt before the cult of the Absolute forced it's way into your life. You were reborn, newly cultured, and so very exhausted by all of it. Karlach stands, making her way over to the small platform you stand on and she meets your eyes in the mirror.

"Everything okay, Soldier?"

You chuckle at the nickname. Soldier.. You feel like anything but a soldier right now. Her warm hand reaches down to capture yours and she gives it a reassuring squeeze. Tears well up in your large brown eyes and you lower your head once more to ease the burning in your tear ducts. You feel so hopeless. Surrounded by the people you love most, but so entirely and devastatingly alone. Your thoughts swirl in your brain, engulfing the area the tadpole once lived. How could you be so ready to give up on Gale? You know he loves you just as much as you love him. If not more. Definitely more. A quiet sob escapes you and you crumble onto the platform, startling Shadowheart and Karlach. In confusion, the two kneel beside you, each one grabbing a hand.

"Gods, Tav.. What has gotten into you?"

Karlach's voice is stern and low, her fingers tightening around yours to ground you in the moment. Shadowheart sighs and shakes her head. She knows. She understands. Small cries rattle your ribcage as a never-ending stream of tears streaks your flushed cheeks. Embarrassment burns in your throat and you quickly stand again, both hands yanking away from your companions. You want nothing more to be free of this dress and the agonizingly tight corset holding all of you in. You reach back and tug at the laces of the corset in frustration, failing to loosen anything before throwing your hands down at your sides once more.

"I'd like to be free of this death trap, please."

You mumble quietly. Shadowheart giggles and begins unlacing the corset while Karlach moves to the front of you, both hands now resting on the tops of your trembling shoulders.

"It's going to be alright. Everyone gets nervous before their wedding. Hells, I'd be fucking batshit if I were in your position. Especially with someone as grand as Gale."

You allow a giggle to pass your frown and sigh heavily in relief when Shadowheart finally frees you from the corset, the pale leather folding neatly in her gentle hands.

"Looks like you need a hefty meal and a nap, Soldier. Let's get going. Your dress fits you just fine."

Figaro scoffs in the corner and collects the corset from Shadowheart, placing it down on a velvet bench before extending his hand to you and helping you down from the platform. He leads you to a small room so you can change back into your normal clothing, quickly shutting the curtain behind him as he steps out. You sigh and quickly shimmy out of your dress, carefully folding the fancy fabric and leaving it on the small stool in the room.

...

"Where are you headed off to? How was your dress fitting? I assume you've gotten all of the details figured out with Figaro by now?"

Gale's eyes lift from the dusty tome lying open on his desk. He scans your form, taking inventory of the cloak you've draped over your shoulders. You wiggle your toes in your boots and shrug off his concerned tone.

"I uh.. Derryth needs help collecting noblestock. Baelen is ill. The fitting went.. About as well as expected. Karlach cried, Shadowheart told me I should get the dress in black, Figaro was disgusted by that idea."

Your fingers drum against your thighs and you turn to look at him, attempting the most sincere look you can muster in the moment. The wizard's eyes narrow on you and he nods slowly, placing his palms flat on his desk to help lift him from his stool. His fingers graze the page on the tome before he begins his trek across the room to you. Gale pulls you into a tight hug, one hand grasping your waist while the other smooths your dark hair against the back of your head.

"Ah yes, Figaro and his.. Closed-minded fashion sense. Well, I'm glad the shop at least didn't go up in flames. The Underdark, hmm? Be safe, my love. Send word when you're on your way back, yes?"

You nod at his words and rest your head against his chest, the gentle thumping of his heart calming the nervous fizz in your brain for a moment. The soft velvet of his robe tickles your cheek and you nuzzle against it in the same fashion Tara would, but with much less purring. Gale chuckles and pecks the top of your head, mumbling a soft "I love you" against your scalp before he releases you, his hand reaching for yours to quickly caress the finger with your engagement ring on it. A soft smile thins his lips and he motions for you to make your exit. You smile nervously up at him, pulling your hand away gently and you turn to leave, your hands coming to your front to slowly slide your ring off of your finger and into your thigh pouch, your teeth catching your bottom lip. You slip into the night, tugging your cloak hood up to further shroud you in darkness.

...

You missed the glowing alure of the Underdark. The Myconid Colony serving as a beacon of calming light. You let out a quiet sigh at the familiar surroundings and cross your arms over your heaving chest, taking a moment to drink in the atmosphere and catch your breath. You weren't here to collect noblestock, and quite honestly, you're proud of yourself for the excuse you had come up with on the spot. You're in search of something much more valuable to you. A vampire spawn. The very one you'd shared so many sleepless nights with while infected with the tadpoles. Astarion. His name sends a shudder through your entire body. After your group took down Cazador in his crypt, Astarion made the impossible decision to kill the vampire lord and stop the Black Mass, freeing his fellow spawn to live in the shadows for eternity. Unfortunately, he was doomed to the same fate once the Nether Brain was defeated. You blink tears away from your eyes, rubbing your palms into the sockets to ease the slight burning. The thought of him cowering at the sun just after the final fight, running off never to be seen again, it makes your heart ache in a way you didn't think possible. And it has been exactly that long since you've laid eyes on the spawn. But you remember him so vividly. His pearlescent skin. His crimson eyes. His silvery hair that always rested in perfect curls, even after the roughest of battles with goblins.

Continuing your walk through the Underdark, your eyes fall on more familiar territory. The Duergar camp, nestled just on the edge of the black water you fondly remember sailing to Grymforge. However, the camp is... Inhabited. Rebuilt. Much more beautiful than you remember, large purple crystals growing in tall pillars around the quaint wooden houses peppered around the area. Long rope bridges connect the homes and buildings on the higher cliffs, chasm creeper and mushrooms speckled about on the rock. Your tired legs seem to will you towards the new found civilization, the promise of sleep fogging your brain. Taking a step into the camp, your eyes scan the surroundings, a few faces seeming oddly familiar to you. A tall, long haired vampire spawn with the scarring of runes scattered about his face approaches you, his crimson eyes cutting through the dark gloom. The purple glow of the crystal pillars around you grants you just enough light to make out his facial features.

"Tav..?"

"Sebastian?!"

Your eyes widen at the sudden realization. Sebastian is one of the Spawn your group freed from Cazador's crypt. A bright smile adorns your tired face and you sprint towards him, quickly embracing him in a tight hug. You nearly knock him off of his feet, your hands gripping the soft fabric of the back of his coat. The spawn chuckles and catches your short frame, gently lifting you from the dirt and giving you a playful twirl, earning a giggle. You inhale deeply, the scent of lavender and deep earth filling your nostrils.

"It's lovely to see you. Astarion hasn't stopped talking about his adventures by your side. I do believe he's around here somewhere. But what are you doing here, Dear? "

Your breath catches in your throat at the mention of his name. He's here. He's really here. You traveled all the way beneath the ground on an inkling that he might have followed the other spawn to the Underdark to seek refuge from the burning sun. Your heart thumps in your chest and Sebastian inhales your excitement deeply. He places you back onto your feet and takes a step back, smoothing his coat down before motioning for you to follow him. You nod and make haste, trying your best to keep up with his quick strides as he leads you in, what you assume to be, the direction of the spawn you initially traveled here to see. Sebastian stops in front of a large wooden door, tapping a few knocks onto the surface with the knuckle of his index finger. He holds his free hand out to you, motioning for you to wait outside once he hears a quiet "Enter" from the dark room behind the door. He carefully opens the door and steps inside, blocking the being within the walls from seeing you.

"Pardon me, Astarion. You have a visitor."

"A visitor? I thought I told that wretch that it was a one time thing! Gods, these deep gnomes are needy. Very well, send him in."

Sebastian stifles a chuckle and steps aside, revealing your presence to the the vampire. You step forward into the dim candlelight of his home, bottom lip caught nervously between your teeth, biting impressively hard on the sensitive flesh. Astarion looks even more beautiful than you remember. His hair a touch longer than before, but still arranged in that intoxicating mess of curls. A sparkling silver chalice rests between his pale, slender fingers and he swirls the contents in it with finesse. A familiar metallic tang lingers in the air along with the soft scent of bergamot and rosemary. A scent you grew very fond of when you were traveling alongside the spawn. One you often find yourself craving back home. Astarion is lying on a small velvet love seat, one leg outstretched and the other bent with his foot resting firmly in the plush cushion beneath him. Piles of dusty books and candles speckle the tables and floors around him, the room still tidy, but certainly lived in. His back rests against the armrest and he stretches for a moment before his eyes drift towards the front door. As he slowly turns his attention to the new intruder, he takes another sip from the chalice and he chokes suddenly, sputtering the red liquid. You stand in the doorway, hands clasped behind your back and you watch his reaction, a light smirk building on your lips. Astarion hurries to his feet, setting the chalice down with care to not spill any more of its contents before moving towards you swiftly.

"Tav is.. Is that you?"

You nod quickly and he whisks you from the floor, his face burying into the crook of your warm neck. You shudder at the sensation of his cold nose nuzzling your skin and you snake your arms around his shoulders, hands finding a comfortable spot in his soft hair. He groans at your touch and tugs you impossibly close to his frame, inhaling every bit of your scent that his nose will allow. Sebastian excuses himself, quietly closing the heavy door behind him.

"I've missed you, little star.."

"Where the hells have you been?"

You cling to him tightly, tears threatening to spill over your cheeks at his question. You shake your head and slowly slide from his embrace. His face contorts into a look of confusion, large eyes glimmering in the candle light when he focuses on your change of posture.

"Little love.. What ever could be the matter?"

You couldn't possibly tell him here. Not now. Not in this moment. You palm at your eyes once more before lifting your head to meet his gaze. He reaches out a gentle hand and cups your burning cheek, lovingly stroking the bone there with his thumb. You tilt your head into his touch and savor the feeling of his skin on yours again, finally. You've missed the vampling so much. Your heart pounds like a goblin war drum behind your ribs. He takes a step closer to you, his free arm gently snaking around your waist. Leaning down, he presses a gentle kiss to your forehead, the salty taste of your sweat making his pupils dilate. A quiet whine slips past your lips.

"Speak to me, Tav. You're never so tongue tied, you poor thing. What has you so rattled?"

Shaking your head, your arms fly around Astarion's neck, taking him by surprise. He stumbles backwards, bumping his calves against the ornate wooden frame of the loveseat and he sits down to catch himself, a small grunt breaking the otherwise harsh silence of the room. You collapse on top of his thin but toned frame and gasp at the impact. Wet eyes meeting his, you suck your bottom lip into your mouth and bite at it, drawing blood. Astarion senses the metallic hint in the air and groans, your very familiar and intoxicating scent making his grasp on you tighten in a primal fashion. He mumbles a soft "Gods.." and reaches one hand up to grasp your chin, forcing you to look up at him. You strain your eyes in the candlelight, releasing your bottom lip, the skin there now bruised, little rivulets of your life's essence staining the skin there.

"Astarion I..."

His grasp on you loosens and his gaze softens. He flashes you a gentle smile and cocks his head to the side. He knows exactly what he's doing to you, and though he revels in the idea that he can still fluster you this way, you feel his intentions have changed. The way his hands rest respectfully on your lower back now, the gentle drumming of his fingers against your spine. He's hungry, but he's doing so well restraining himself. The Astarion you met after the Nautiloid crash and the Astarion seated beneath you now are so incredibly different. It only makes you want to explore him more, to learn his new ways. And it feels so, incredibly wrong.

"Yes?"

"H-Have you eaten? Lately, I mean. I can't imagine there's much to feast on in the Underdark.."

Your question makes his eyebrows knit together for a moment, his expression twisting at the thought of just how hungry he is. Sure, he's eaten. Feasted upon a deep gnome here and there, their blood burning the inside of his mouth as he drinks. He hasn't, however, had anything nearly as delicious as your blood since the death of the Nether Brain. You were the last of your kind that he fed on, and he missed the taste all the same.

"I have eaten, yes. But, you know I am a man of.. Tremendous appetite."

His velvet words send a shiver down your spine and you press to him tightly now, closing the small gap that was left between your torsos while you straddle one of his legs. His knee presses into your mound and you try your best to block to feeling out of your mind. His eyes meet yours, full of lust. Full of hunger. Tinted with the gentle flicker of.. Love. You were his first mortal, after all. And he would be a liar if he told you that all of those nights of honeyed words and sweet nothings weren't how he truly felt about you. You offered yourself to him in a way no one ever has. Not with the intent to sleep with him. Just with the intent to make sure he was taken care of. A debt he, to this day, has no idea how to repay. His thought process is halted when you lean in close, bloodied lips grazing the length of his earlobe and you mutter quietly.

"I-If you're hungry.. Feed."

You back yourself up to meet his gaze once more. His eyebrows furrow and he growls, the deep noise causing your insides to ignite. Without hesitation, Astarion leans forward and flicks his tongue out against your sensitive bottom lip, lapping at the blood that has begun to dry there. He earns a whine from you, his pointy ears perking up at the sound. He smirks, determined for more noises and he sucks your bottom lip between his own, sinking a fang into the already abused flesh. You moan quietly, tilting your head back to tug your lip away from his grasp and your hands meet his chest, fingers toying with the ruffles around the collar of his silk shirt. The vampling's breath stutters at the encounter, your hands on his chest making his hairs stand on end. You instinctively grind your hips down into his, your leathers making a quiet noise from the friction. "Please.." you stutter, hands pulling at the front of his shirt now, your begging making Astarion's head swirl. Nose first, Astarion nuzzles into the side of your neck again, this time with much more intent, tracing the length of your perfectly soft skin. Baring his fangs to the open space, he quickly drags the flat of his tongue to prime the area for the sensation of the sharp pricks. His teeth sink into the flesh there, like ice shards. The pain is delicious and dizzying. You roll your hips again, this time Astarion's hips bucking upwards to meet your already wet core. You ache for him and you hate yourself for it. He laps the now steady stream of blood he's drawn from your neck, a low groan ringing in your ear as he drinks. In the past, he would drink while you were unconscious. Now, you wished you'd have been awake every time you had offered your neck to him. The little noises he makes, the way he gently cradles the back of your head while he feeds.. It's intoxicating. You're drunk off of the pain and the pleasure. Drunk off of Astarion. His lips leave your skin, tongue tracing the new pierce marks he's left in the crook of your neck. His hands remain where they are, one cradling the back of your head, the other tightly gripping the back of your shirt. He sighs to himself, tilting his head back as he cleans the crimson fluid from his lips.

"By the Nine Hells, you're just as delicious as I remember. I need more of you.."

His hands both slide to meet the tie of your cloak, making quick work of undoing it, the dark fabric sliding to the floor at his feet. Your body trembles beneath every movement, every feather-light touch from his fingers. As much as you love him, this was a feeling Gale has never been able to give to you. You love him.. Differently. You love his intellect. You love how much he adores Tara. You love his affinity for books and the way he talks about the weave. But your love for Astarion.. That was leaps and bounds deeper than anything you've ever felt. His touch sets your skin on fire. Your name sounds like a lyric on his tongue, soft and melodious. You crave him. His presence. His existence. You crave all of it. Tears threaten your eyes again and Astarion notices immediately. His hands quickly cup your cheeks and his soft lips crash to yours, your entire body falling limp against him. Arousal boils your blood, bubbling up into your throat, escaping as a soft moan against the vampire's lips. You're unraveling right there in his arms. He kisses you in a way you never in your life have been kissed, teeth knocking, tongues wrestling for dominance, the slight copper taste of blood lingering in his mouth from his meal. Your hips find a steady rhythm, rocking back and forth against his lap, the two of you moaning in tandem at the fiery friction building between your bodies. His right hand snaps upwards to grab your throat, thumb and fingers pressing harshly into the sides of your neck, your breath labored by the force of his palm against your trachea. Hungry red eyes meet your gaze and Astarion's lips slowly form the words that will be your undoing.

"Your body keeps no secrets, my love. This is what you want, isn't it? To lose yourself in me?"

You moan at his words, jaw falling slack. His hand moves upwards to press his thumb into your mouth, a quiet "Suck." commanding your lips to close around the digit, tongue lapping at his fingerprint. He watches you, pupils blown out with desire, hair disheveled from your previous kiss. You continue to suck on his thumb, his free fingers tapping rhythmically against your cheek bone and he purrs in delight. Your bones vibrate, your core aches, walls fluttering around nothing. He slips his thumb from between your lips with a gentle "pop" and replaces it with his middle and index finger. You obediently take the new fingers just as you did the thumb, moistening them with your saliva. He presses down on the flat of your tongue and you stick it out, allowing him to swipe his fingers around in your spittle. A devilish grin thins his lips as he watches you.

"So good.. Let's put this to good use, shall we?"

He slides his wet fingers down towards the waistband of your leathers, using his free hand to tug them forward. You curse under your breath, unable to do anything but watch. His fingers hastily meet your core, swiping teasingly slow between your think folds and you collapse against him, shaky little moans ringing in his ears. He groans at how wet you are, wasting no time to dip two digits into your aching cunt, finally granting you the pleasure you've been seeking. His thumb presses tightly to your clit and he moves it in agonizingly slow circles, first clockwise, then counter clockwise, and suddenly, in no particular pattern. You writhe against his hand, gasping and whining.

"That's it. Such a mess."

He pumps his fingers in and out of you slowly, relishing in the beautiful noises he earns in return. You're at the precipice now. You grind into his hand feverishly and throw your head back, whining into the open air, his name coming out in little yelps and moans. However, he keeps the slow pace. Taking his sweet, sweet time with you. It's been so long since he's touched you. Made you moan like this. Made you drop all defenses and absolutely lose yourself in him. He loves every second of it, his own pleasure coming solely from pleasuring you. He wants nothing more than to deliver you the ecstasy you so greatly deserve. It's the only way he knows how to repay you for the kindness, love, and support you've shown him in this lifetime. You'd never be up front about asking him for sex, let alone to touch you like this. You're the only person he's ever known to respect how he feels, what he wants, what he needs. For this, he has grown to love you with every ounce he's able to give. The time apart from you was agonizing and he spent many nights, eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling, praying to whatever gods would hear him that you would return to him. That you'd crawl into his bed once more so he could hold you and drink in your warmth. However, he knew you were somewhere else, with someone else. He didn't have the heart to approach you about it in this moment. All he wanted was to be here, with you. To enjoy you for as long as he possibly could before you slipped away, more unknown amounts of time passing before he'd be able to lay eyes on you again. To take in your sweet scent, one he has tried for months to recreate in a perfume. Vanilla, sandalwood, and woodsmoke. A tantalizing combination that leaves his brain all fuzzy and warm. He snaps back to reality, focusing harder now on your moans and the wiggle of your hips. The knot in your belly tightens with each stroke of his fingers against that heavenly spot within your walls, your arousal soaking his entire hand and the leathers that separate your skin from the cold air. His free hand grasps your hip, stilling your desperate grinding.

"Come for me, pet."

The movement of his fingers keeps a slow, steady pace. His thumb continues to rub into your clit, pressing a little harder now to throw you over the edge. You tighten around him, the knot in your core finally snapping, ecstasy making your eyes roll into your buzzing skull. The loud moan you let out surprises even you as you come undone against his hand. He grins proudly, working you through your climax, whispering sweet affirmations of how well you're doing during your comedown. Carefully sliding his fingers from your leathers, he pops one into his mouth, savoring your warm slick. His lids flutter in enjoyment and you watch him closely.

"You are.. Filthy.."

You giggle and wrap your arms sleepily around his shoulders, burying your face into the crook of his neck. He wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you up to straddle him now, hands cupping the supple meat of your ass. You close your eyes tightly, the reality of tonight's events creating a pit in your stomach. You fight with yourself internally. Should you tell Astarion? Should you tell Gale? Should you even go home? A quiet sigh leaves you and your breath coasts along Astarion's pale flesh, making him tremble momentarily. He rests his chin on your shoulder and mumbles quietly. His next words make your stomach drop, your eyes shooting open suddenly.

"Well, this should be fun to explain to Gale.."

[bigsexiest]

Rain Sick Mountain Help

how cute. idk. read at your own risk, it's so late at night and I do not feel well. I love Rain so muchhh. this could've probably been a short cute list but too late I've already written out this piece of shit.

word count: 600 or smth like that

Summary: rain can't handle heat during the summer so he only comes out at night. mountain shows him a secret place and rain finally cools down.

Just imagine Rain rotting away during the hot summer months. The heat makes him nauseous and there’s genuinely no escape. Even the lake is too warm for him. He yearns for the deep ocean chill. But that’s too far away and the Ministry would never approve. He was apparently ‘needed’ at the abbey, yet he had nothing to do.

During the day he'd escape the heat by lazing around his room. The ghoul den was below the ground level, so it was cooler than anywhere else. Laying on his bed worsened the heat, so he would lie on his floor with the lights off trying to survive till nighttime. 

The other ghouls felt bad for Rain. None of them experienced the symptoms he did. They all liked to sit outside by the lake in the sun. Sitting beside the others, Dew would sigh occasionally as though he was missing some essential part of his happiness. In a way, he was. It was uncomfortable for Rain to sit directly in the sunshine at the height of the day. His skin burned much faster than the other ghouls, and he’d begin to feel physically sick if he stayed out for too long. Dew knew why Rain stayed inside, but it didn't make him feel any less lonely.

Rain hated feeling left out. He knew how much the other ghouls loved the sun, and to a certain extent, he could understand. He loved feeling the gentle heat on his skin during any other season. During the summer, it was just too strong.

The night was the only time when Rain felt comfortable. Most of the other ghouls would be sleeping when he finally left his room. He’d be exhausted, not sleeping during the day because of the heat. 

It’s not like the other ghouls didn’t offer to stay up for him, but Rain wanted them all to get their sleep. He told them he’d be fine on his own. At first Dew and Swiss wouldn’t listen and they’d take nighttime walks with Rain, appreciating the cool breeze and quiet lake. But then they realized Rain wasn’t lying and they stopped staying up. It’s not like Rain didn’t want them around, he just wasn’t feeling great and preferred to be alone. The sick feeling rarely left him until the seasons eventually changed. 

Strangely enough during these therapeutic late-night excursions, he’d often walk past the greenhouses. He’d see the lights on and hear soft music playing. 

When he finally found the courage to interrupt whatever Mountain was doing, the Earth ghoul looked delighted to see him. Rain, on the other hand, was already dying at the blast of humidity that escaped through the doorway he was standing in. Quickly Mountain put down the plant he was messing with and followed Rain outside. He gestured him towards a small pathway leading away from the greenhouses and towards the thicker parts of the outdoor gardens. 

There’s a sprawling hedge maze, and Mountain leads Rain to the center. To Rain's surprise, there's a large koi pond. It’s a secret not known by many. The labyrinth is so huge that most don’t dare to enter. Rain hadn’t known about it, and found himself in a much better state of mind watching the fish swim slowly in the moonlight. The pond was huge and the clearing was large enough for all the ghouls to comfortably spread out on the lush grass. 

Mountain takes time to observe the various flowers he'd planted around the beautiful place. With Mountain’s permission, Rain slowly walks into the pond, feeling at home with little koi fins brushing against his side. By Mountain, little vines of white flowers that only bloom at night appear to glow in the moon’s soft light. 

The two ghouls stay mostly silent.  They lie in the grass until the still-dark hours of the morning. Rain can’t remember the last time he felt so at peace, and he decides to spend more nights exploring the various hidden spots Mountain knows.

[thejesterstears]

Gonna be self-indulgent with a little whump content here and ramble off some sickness-related Pomni headcanons I've been rotating in my brain since about when I first watched the pilot (once you get to know me it will become apparent how much I love whump).

Disclaimer that these are just my headcanons and not anything I am trying to push as canon! These headcanons also operate under the idea that sickness does exist within the circus in the form of computer viruses/corrupted code that manifests as human-like illnesses in the circus members, and also bearing in mind that they do still experience pain.

Sick Pomni Headcanons:

In her old life, she would rarely ever call in sick, even if it meant dragging herself through the work day looking like death warmed over and powering through it with hot tea and round-the-clock medication--less out of dedication to her work so much as a nagging feeling that she would be letting people down if she didn't come in to do her job as well as fear of failing herself. She has worked herself to the point of fainting more than once due to her own stubbornness. This is the same attitude she's carried with her into the Digital Circus, even though it isn't a "job," just because she doesn't want anyone to feel the need to pick up her slack or to worry about her (and, yes, has reached a point of fainting here too).

She is what can only be described as a horrible sick person to take care of, in that she struggles to accept help because she feels she should be able to take care of herself and feels uncomfortable making anyone else concerned about her or paying excess attention to her--even when she's reluctantly accepting help, she hesitates to ask for more than the bare minimum of care, regardless of anything else she may want or need. She only fully relents when she's feeling so miserable that she literally can't work up any energy to fend for herself. For the most part, she'll just hole up in her room and sleep for hours at a time until she recovers.

Of everyone in the circus, Ragatha is the one who would take care of Pomni the most whenever she's under the weather, out of her own genuine concern and care--something that surprises Pomni at first, so used to fending for herself in her old life that it actually overwhelms her a little to have Ragatha check in on her frequently and offer to bring her extra blankets or warm drinks or cold compresses. She resists offers of help at first, feeling guilty for making anyone worry about her when she doesn't feel she deserves it, but eventually reaches a point where she feels more comfortable accepting care from the friends she's learned to trust in the circus--and if she's being honest with herself, she might feel a little clingy (emotionally, at least) when she gets accustomed to the company where she isn't so quick to turn it away, or might actually ask for it herself.

Due to her tendency to become nauseous easily, she does not like to eat when she's sick as much as she can help it--not needing to eat for nourishment is one of the few perks to her new digital life when she doesn't feel well (though if, say, Ragatha were to gently encourage her to eat something for the sake of maintaining some normalcy, she wouldn't say no to some soup or warm tea).

She is unfortunately prone to stress fevers and migraines that'll knock her down for a good several hours whenever they happen.

(Semi-connected because it's medical-related but I also personally hc that she suffers from bad vertigo episodes/motion sickness and has endometriosis, both of which regularly make her feel completely miserable)

[rorykeanersactualgf]

request where Benny Weir helps the reader calm down from a nightmare or panic attack

A/N: i quite like this idea, decided to use both of them in a mix bcs why not??? :) again if anything is wrong with the post, please tell me so i can fix it, hope you like it lovelies :)) xx i was also a bit unsure on what the dream would be so i left that to your interpretation, i hope that was okay

CW: mentions of a panic attack, mention of Benny dying (IT DOESNT HAPPEN DW), comfort, cutesy fluff, all the good stuff.

Breathing Difficulties

It had been a weird day. Nothing inherently wrong or out of place, but just...off. It felt like something was going to happen, but nothing did. I thought it was just me being paranoid or disassociating from myself so I decided to tell my wonderful boyfriend, Benny, about it on the walk home.

"Hey Benny?" I said, looking up at him through my eyelashes.

"Yes my love?" Benny asked, looking down at me with his heart-warming, signature grin following.

"I've been feeling kind of off today, not too sure why though," and clung to his warm arm and rested my head on his shoulder as we walked.

"Oh, do you feel ill? Need anything to eat or drink?" he asked while simultaneously pulling his bag forward to grab food and/or drinks from it, "Is it a headache? I think I have a spell for that somewhere in this book." He enquired while giving me a bottle of water, an apple and flipping through his spell book, scanning over the pages quickly.

"Woah-kay, thanks for the food and drink, and no offence but I don't want to end up with a set of bat wings yet again when last time I came to you for a stomach-ache." I said with a small chuckle leaving me, making me feel a little bit better than I was before.

"Hey! That was one time! And even you admitted that the wings were kind of cool to have." He said with emphasis lacing every word that left him like he was a child.

"Well it was cool, I will admit to that but it was less cool when none of my clothes fitted me properly, and I felt more nauseous than I was before." I said with my arms crossed over my chest with a small smile itching at the corners of my mouth and fake seriousness in my tone, "I've just been feeling out of it today, almost constantly paranoid that something bad will happen. I might just be overthinking again, I don't know," I said looking at my feet, taking a bite out of the apple he gave me.

"Hm..." he stood still for a moment, placing his spell book in his bag again and thought about what to say," Do you need anything like a hug or a kiss, you know I have plenty of those to share for you, my love?" He said with a big smile gracing his face with a cheeky look in his eye as he walked back over to me and held the sides of my arms gently so I could push him off if I wanted to, but I didn't, I smiled and nodded to him and he leaned down into me so I could wrap my arms around his neck and he could wrap his around my waist while nestling his head into the side of my neck so he could leave a few innocent kisses to my cheek, jaw, and neck.

After a few minutes of holding each other, we let go to continue going home and I had basically forgotten about how I was feeling today...

That was until later that night when I had finally gotten to sleep after messaging Benny and my friends goodnight, I had woken up in a frenzy, beads of uncomfortably cold sweat tricking down my spine like a demon touching the very nerves of my spinal cord. I couldn't catch my breath, nothing was making sense in my brain because it was moving too fast for me and my still sleep addled brain to process. The dream wasn't real, it couldn't have been...Benny was still alive...right?

With trembling hands and wobbly vision from the tears brimming my eyes, I called Benny, not realising that it was around half 2 in the morning and he was most definitely asleep. The first ring..... nothing. The second ring..... nothing again. Panic started to rise high in my chest, and at the third ring Benny answered, his groggy and sleepy voice rung through my ears as a wave of relief flooded through me like a tsunami.

"Hello..?" he said again, unsure of who called him, only feeling his phone vibrate and lifting it to his ear without looking at the number, rubbing his eyes.

Short sniffles and hyperventilative breaths, almost too quiet for his similarly sleep addled brain to pick up on but he just managed to, and a quiet sob and a whisper of "hi" was picked up and Benny woke up a bit more, he looked at his phone to see that it was me that was calling and he shot up in bed, suddenly very awake and a bit dizzy from the sudden movement. "Baby? Are you okay? Talk to me, please."

I tried to speak, to formulate any sort of wording that could be considered anything but gibberish but only shaky breaths and stammers of what I wanted to tell him actually came out. I couldn't breathe, it felt like all the air was sucked out from around me and my lungs but I still felt its chilly hands trail down my spine and exposed arms.

It had taken Benny a moment to realise what was happening but when he realised what was happening, he started to guide me through it, virtually holding my hand while I felt I almost lost grip on reality.

"Okay, listen to me baby, I'm right here, listen to my voice, breathe with me." His soothing voice sounded through the speaker as I followed along with him, breathing in through my nose for 5 seconds, holding it for 7, breathing out my mouth for 8. When my breathing went back to semi-normal, he continued to guide me, even though I heard slight rustling in the other side of the phone.

"You're doing so good baby, okay, now can you tell me 5 things you can see?" I started looking around my room and named a few things I could see.

"Very good, now can you tell me 4 things you can touch?" He continued to praise me throughout the call, listening very intently.

"Uh, my blanket, my phone, my shirt and my pillow."

"Mhm, now can you name me 3 things you can hear?"

"Well now I can hear something being zipped up, a small bang and a pained grunt from you, are you okay? Benny? Benny, please say you're okay..." I continued to trail off and ramble because at the time I thought something bad was happening on his side.

"I'm okay baby, we're focusing on you right now. What are 2 things you can smell?" He said through gritted teeth, in hindsight it was probably from him stubbing his toe in the dark. (baby is okay don't worry haha.)

As he said this, I could hear wind on his side of the phone, and now that I was calmer I could tell he wasn't in danger and that he was probably doing something.

"Um, I don't know, my (fragrance of choice) and some laundry detergent from my bed." I said more as a question than a statement.

As I was saying this, I heard a small incantation be cast and a woosh of air not far from my house and a slight tap on my window and got up to see what it was. Peeking from behind my curtain, I saw Benny with a big and proud smile gracing his face as he gestured if I wanted a hug with a coy smile on his face. I leant into him as he pressed a small, sweet kiss on my lips as he finally asked,

"What's 1 thing you can taste?"

"You," was all that barely left me as I went back up onto my tiptoes to kiss him again... and again... and again... until we both eventually fell asleep in each others arms, now content and with a warm feeling in both of our chests and faces.

A/N: hope you like it at least a bit xx

[feverishly-kpop]

TXT - Sick Team

“You’re still running a good fever” Yeonjun sighed, settling the thermometer back on Soobin’s bedside table.

“I figured as much. I feel…weird…” Soobin replied sadly. “How’re the others?” Soobin couldn’t help but worry about his dongsaengs even after 36 hours of being sick in bed.

“Kai is still staying with his family. I told him not to come back until everyone is feeling better. Taehyun is starting to feel better. He said he hasn’t been nauseous at all today.” Yeonjun hiccuped, unconsciously rubbing his stomach. “Gyu’s been sleeping all day. He called manager-hyung and said that he was feeling better but was put straight back to bed the minute hyung walked in and got one look at him.”

Soobin chuckled at that before grimacing with pain as his head throbbed. “His temperature is manageable though?” The discomfort was evident in his voice.

Yeonjun nodded, pushing Soobin’s hair from his forehead. “I’ve been keeping an eye on it. Nothing to worry about. High enough to make him a little uncomfortable but low enough that it’s not keeping him awake.”

Soobin let out a deep breath. Yeonjun hadn’t noticed how tense Soobin had been but wasn’t surprised. Anytime the members weren’t feeling well the leader was on edge. Even when he himself was sick too.

“You should be asleep too” Yeonjun said softly, adjusting Soobin’s blankets around him before heading back to the door.

“Hyung” Soobin called after him, causing Yeonjun to turn around. “How are you feeling?”

Yeonjun rolled his eyes. He thought that he had been doing a better job hiding his own discomfort. The last thing Soobin needed was more to worry about.

“I’m totally fine…” Yeonjun began but was immediately interrupted by Soobin.

“Bullshit. Tell me what’s wrong” Soobin said. It wasn’t often that he pulled rank as leader with Yeonjun but when he did he left no room for Yeonjun to defy him.

“I’m a little feverish. And my stomach is a little weird. No big deal” Yeonjun replied.

“Hyung…” Soobin said with a sigh, gesturing for Yeonjun to come back into the room. “You’re sick. You need to rest.” Soobin slid over in his bed. Before Yeonjun could give it a second thought he found himself laying down and snuggling into Soobin’s side, Soobin’s feverish warmth melting some of the chill that he couldn’t seem to shake since he had warmed up.

Just as he was about to doze off there was a soft knock at the bedroom door followed immediately by the sound of the door opening, revealing Taehyun holding Beomgyu to his side, rubbing his arm.

“He had a nightmare. I told him you were both just fine but he didn’t believe me…” Taehyun said softly, still trying to comfort Beomgyu.

“We’re all good, Gyu! Come here. You shouldn’t be on your feet” Soobin said as he sat up, dismayed to see Beomgyu looking so unwell. “Hyunnie, you shouldn’t be up either.”

Taehyun shook his head quickly. “My fever broke earlier this afternoon and hasn’t come back. I’m happy to help. Especially now that I’m the only one who isn’t currently burning up from the looks of it” he added, gesturing toward Yeonjun, who was distracted with his crying dongsaeng.

“Thanks,” Soobin said quietly with a smile as Taehyun stepped out of the room. Within a few minutes Yeonjun, Soobin and Beomgyu had managed to get comfortable enough to get back to sleep where they stayed until Yeonjun was roused by the door opening again.

“I told you not to come back yet” Yeonjun said, his voice thick with sleep but Kai only smiled sadly in response.

“Taehyun told me that he was feeling better but that you were sick now,” Kai replied as he softly laid a cool compress across Soobin’s forehead and one on the exposed area of the nape of Beomgyu’s neck. “I thought he might need a hand” he added as he wiped Yeonjun’s rosy cheeks with the third cloth before laying it across his forehead. “Now go back to sleep before you wake these two up.”

“Thanks, Kai, goodnight” Yeonjun said softly before dozing off again.

[cyberrat]

88th Batch Of Fics: 7th Fill

Hanzo/Cassidy – Part ⅓ – ghost!Cassidy; older!Hanzo; younger!Cole; voyeurism; unwilling exhibitionism; rape turning consensual; ghost gaping – Hanzo got himself a cursed weapon and now has to deal with the ghost attached to it.

---

Hanzo has to force himself to stand still in front of the retina scan so it would be able to properly do its work even as he feels like he is going to crawl out of his skin.

His newest trophy feels heavy at his hip. Like it is burning a hole into the simple linen sack that he’s used to transport it in. There is no harm in it; the weapon is old and there is no ammunition inside it anyway.

But since buying it, he has not been able to shake the feeling of being followed.

It has been creeping up on him during the train ride, leaving him to sit in the corner of the very last car because he just kept having a feeling as if someone were looking across his shoulder.

That feeling had not abated even with his relocation, but at least it had kept him from turning around again and again like a paranoid fool. He knew of his own shortcomings but he had thought he had shaken off these… ah… tics, when he had joined this organization.

The door opens with a soft hiss in front of him and he hurriedly steps inside the base. There is not too much going on; as far as he is aware, no new recruits had been pulled into their ranks. Still, there are a few agents crossing him in the hallways and greeting him amicably enough.

Winston pauses as he shuffles into a side hallway, his smile looking a little forced. “Welcome back, Agent Shimada. You look… harried for someone that just had a few days off.”

Did he? Did he look harried?

Hanzo shakes his head impatiently, though he tries for a somewhat civil tone. “I am completely fine. The train ride was… long.”

Just as he says it, he feels it: fingers brushing the sensitive spot just above his elbow.

Hanzo sucks in a sharp breath and whirls around. There is nobody there behind him.

“...Agent?” he hears Winston’s concerned voice; and right behind it, a low chuckle that is definitely not coming from the gorilla and feels like it has been whispered right into his left ear.

The twins crackle ominously beneath Hanzo’s skin. They slowly writhe inside his body, making him briefly feel nauseous. Like a fist has taken hold of his stomach and is slowly twisting it upside down.

“Excuse me,” Hanzo chokes out, only barely remembering to say anything at all before he dashes down the hallway, white knuckling the strap of his little backpack. The gun keeps thumping against his thigh, heavy and uncomfortably warm. Why is it so warm?!

The twins keep moving and he is so aware of the presence following close by that there is no use denying it at all now.

He thrusts himself into a hallway that is not being used for now. He’s still so far away from his own rooms but he is loathe going there anyway when there is… something following him. It has taken him so long to feel safe and private in them, that-

“Are you afraid of me?”

Hanzo slaps a hand across his mouth to muffle his little sound of surprise right into his palm. The twins are roiling under his skin but they are too well-trained at this point to burst out without his permission. And there is no target that he could thrust them upon anyway.

He turns his head just a little to peer behind him but once again there is nobody there.

Except he can feel warm breath fanning against the nape of his neck and a set of hands grasping his hips, pulling them back until his ass is nestled against a very sturdy something. A very sturdy someone.

“Don’t be. I won’t hurt you… much. I think. Depends on what ya wanna do.” The voice is deep and drawling with some kind of southern accent. Hanzo throws his wild gaze around the hallway. There is still nobody here but that’s just a matter of for how long. There is a camera not too far off nestled up against the corner of one of the security glass doors leading into the science wing.

He can see his own distorted reflection in the lens – as well as something shimmering just behind him. A humanoid; taller than him, he would say, though the reflection is too small to properly make anything out.

It looks like… energy. Electricity. A storm. He can’t quite wrap his head around what it is exactly that he is seeing; especially since when he turns his head, there still is nothing there despite the very real feeling of hands on his hips and a sturdy body at his back.

The twins are roiling underneath his skin. Suddenly he becomes aware of just how much he is salivating. He has to swallow lest he start drooling like a beast, his palms prickling and the sensation just teetering on the edge of painful.

“Am I… going insane?” he finally says out loud to nobody there. It’s an empty hallway – and yet there is that reflection in the camera-

“Maybe,” the voice replies, tinged in amusement. The hands wander. Hanzo can no longer stare at the tiny reflection as he feels his clothes shifting with the movement, chin hitting his collar bones, staring down at himself and watching as his woolen coat is getting rucked up until the cut of his hipbones is just about visible.

The weight of the gun is becoming immeasurable at his hip. It is pulling him down and his knees are so very weak-

“There ya go, sweetheart. Damn, but you’re gorgeous. Got real fuckin’ tired of watchin’ that old fogey in the pawn shop day in and day out. Had a feelin’ that it was my turn for a lucky break for once when I saw your tight ass paradin’ in there. Smug little bastard.”

Hanzo’s head aches the longer he listens to the voice. He has a feeling that it should… echo somehow. That it should have an otherworldly tranquility to it that would make it easier to compute; but there is nothing of the fantastical about it. It is just a voice; sounding like any regular man was standing behind him, whispering into his ears as he is brought to his knees by a force that he can barely struggle against.

His palms hit the slick floor of the Overwatch base and Hanzo scrabbles to reach inside himself, searching for the power of his dragons and finding them… uncharacteristically docile. For all their roiling and posturing mere moments ago, they are now wrapped up tightly in each other and do not rouse to Hanzo’s mad attempts at dipping into their might.

His face twists, a silent snarl stretching his lips. He feels blunt fingers slipping into the back of his soft, baggy pants and feels like yet another force, unrelated to the one behind him, is grabbing him by the throat and impeding his ability to breathe.

Short nails scrabble against the slick floor as he attempts to move away and bring distance between the two of them despite the inhuman weight of the dead gun at his hip.

“Unhand me-” he presses out through clenched teeth and all that answers him is an amused chuckle.

“Come on, now. It’s been decades. Let a fella have fun, sweetheart.”

[whumpsmith-participates]

Medwhump May 2024

Day 15 - Warmed blankets / Internal injuries

Continuation of Day 14 - Seizures / Vehicle accident

TW: minor whumpee (17), blood, vomiting, character death (implied)

@medwhumpmay

So to recap, Fetch crashed his van through no fault of his own. Which wasn't too much of a disaster, accidents can happen after all, though it would've been a little bit easier to deal with if they hadn't crashed in the middle of nowhere. Even when neither of them are too severely injured, it's a long trek to the nearest gas station, but they decided to make the hike anyway, as each step would bring them closer to salvation and it would be a better bet than to stay by the wreck and pray that someone would drive by eventually and also stop to help them.

Erick was usually pretty good with the heat, he'd grown up in Arizona after all, but even he reached his limit sometimes. He'd already been toeing the line while they were still driving, but now that they were walking next to the hot asphalt in direct sunlight with an extra piece of cloth tied around his neck to support his arm he was positively miserable.

He didn't complain about it though. Fetch was in a bad enough mood as it was, and his fuse was shorter than usual. He was probably in pain and uncomfortable too, and Erick just knew he would lash out if he started whining about how much the situation sucked.

For that same reason, he also stayed quiet when he started feeling nauseous. It was proably the heat and lack of hydration, the exhaustion from walking for hours without rest... Thankfully Fetch called for a break then, and the nausea subsided when Erick was allowed to sit down.

"How you doing?" Fetch asked, lighting a cigarette for himself.

"I'm fine, kinda," Erick said, after flopping down in the sand, "all things considered."

"When we get back to civilisation I'll get you some after-sun, you're looking a lil red," Fetch said.

"Like you're one to talk, you're covered in blood," Erick pointed out.

"It's bleeding through the gauze, isn't it?" Fetch said, wiping some blood from the side of his face, "it's fine. Nothing that can't be fixed as soon as we're out of this fucking sandbox."

"I hope someone passes us soon," Erick said.

"I hope they also stop and pull over," Fetch said, "we'll continue when I finish this cigarette, okay?"

"But you smoke so fast," Erick groaned slightly.

Fetch responded by kicking some sand at him. Erick coughed and sputtered as some got into his mouth, while Fetch continued to smoke unbothered.

"I already said, if we keep moving there's a good chance we'll regain a signal and be able to call for help," he said, "so we'll continue as soon as I finish this cigarette."

"Y-yes, sir...sorry," Erick said.

He spat out some more sand, before reluctantly getting back to his feet so he was ready to go as soon as Fetch buried his cigarette butt in the sand to extinguish it.

They didn't get very far or Erick's feet were already dragging again. Fetch didn't seem to notice, though, or he didn't care, as he simply walked ahead. He wanted to focus on just getting to their destination, and he just didn't have the energy to coddle the teen right now.

"Sir?"

"Unless you tell me you see a car coming I don't wanna hear it," Fetch said.

Erick stayed quiet after that, so it couldn't have been that important after all. Fetch proceeded to ignore him, not even realising the distance between them was beginning to grow, until he suddenly heard the distinctive sound of someone retching.

Fetch stopped walking and turned back, finding Erick several paces behind him, leaning on his knee with his good arm and dry-heaving. Fetch rolled his eyes and walked back.

"You need another break already?" he asked.

Erick slowly looked up, looking a lot paler than he did half an hour ago. He didn't get a chance to reply, retching again and coughing up a handful of blood. Fetch could only watch as the teen sank to his knees, clutching his stomach as he vomited up more blood, before collapsing onto his side, gasping for air.

"Hey, stop that!" Fetch said.

He knew it didn't make sense to say, but even he could let go of rationality if he was shocked enough. He knelt down next to the teen, trying to get him to sit back up. Erick was shaking, deteriorating fast.

"No, no, no, not like this,"he said while cradling the teen, "why the hell didn't you say anything?!"

"Y-you said... cough!"

"And since when do you listen to me?" Fetch said, "just hold on, I got you."

He pulled the boy closer, trying to ignore his pained whining and ragged breathing as he pulled out his phone to check if they had a signal yet.

Zilch.

"W-what's happening?"

Erick's voice sounded so weak. Fetch checked him over, having to pry his arms away to palpate properly. He didn't like what he found, but there was literally nothing he could do.

"You're bleeding internally," Fetch said, letting the teen get comfortable...or as comfortable as was possible in his state.

"You probably ruptured something in the crash," he continued, "you're bleeding into your abdominal cavity...the low blood pressure can't get enough oxygen to your brain, you'll pass out soon and then it won't hurt anymore."

"A-and then?"

Fetch couldn't answer.

"Don't worry," he said, shrugging off his jacket and wrapping it around the boy, "don't worry about that now, kid. I got you..."

Erick settled down a bit, probably on the brink of passing out. Fetch tried to wipe the blood off of his face a bit. That was roughly all he could do, other than stay with him and wait for the inevitable...

WOW That took long. Sorry for the wait, things just. kept. coming up. RIP Erick, you'll be good as new in the next one uwu.

Masterlist Main account

Taglist for the dynamic duo: @lavndvrr

[aching-tummies]

The only way to treat a sick bloated tummy is to torment it a little. Have you sit in my lap as you groan and complain about how bloated your tummy is. I slowly put my hands on your tummy and with the slightest pressure you let out a nauseated burp. I can feel everything sloshing around inside your belly like an overfilled water balloon ready to burst. I add more pressure squeezing your tummy and forcing everything inside you to slosh and churn as you let out pained whimpers. Even encouraging you to drink a little more tea to help with how sick you feel. Bloated to your max and groaning from having your tummy squeezed.

Interesting. Yeah, despite how bloated I felt, there were actually no gurgles of any sort during the event--shockingly. There were definitely nauseous burps though. Honestly, if anyone had even placed a hand on my belly I probably would have spewed before having a chance to moan or whimper.

I lean back from the dining table with a huff. Part of it due to the congestion still robbing me of the opportunity to breathe through my nose, but also because my belly feels decidedly uncomfortable. 4:23PM and we just wrapped up my first meal of the day.

"Hmm? You feelin' okay, sweetheart?" You mumble from across the dining table.

"Nnngh…" I try to respond, my voice practically non-existent due to the sickness.

"C'mere, darling." You call out to me, urging me to get up out of my chair. I groan, closing my eyes as I weigh the action against the possible consequences.

Decision made, I get up, pausing with a barely audible gasp as something shoots up my throat from the action. There's a worrying splash of something sour and I will it to just be air. I don't want to add vomitting to the list of symptoms I have to deal with.

I walk over to stand before you with a pout. Even the three steps it took to move this much has made me feel much, much worse. My fever's still there--having refused to break for the last two days. Yesterday was hilarious (according to you), as you caught me trying to put a plate in the toaster and a DVD in the dishwasher. My throat is raw and throbbing, my limbs ache, and my stomach is extremely unsettled.

You smile at me and gesture, bringing me forward until I lower myself into your lap.

"'Kay--I can hear you now that we're close…but…hmm…maybe gestures could work too? What hurts? What doesn't feel too good, darling?" You murmur at me, stroking my back as you note how wobbly I still am.

I lethargically raise an arm and gesture at my stomach, hidden under an oversized sweater and a camisole. The sweater is a rare addition thanks to the fever tricking me into feeling horrendously chilly last night. I've been flip-flopping between feeling chilled and feeling like I'm melting every ten or fifteen minutes. When I'm cold, my stomach aches due to the cramping of all my muscles. When I feel like I'm going to melt, my stomach feels like a broiling cauldron ready to spill over. Currently, I'm in an in-between phase, but I can feel myself warming up. I really want to shuck off the sweater, but the idea of raising my arms above my head is an exhausting one, and I fear not having the sweater when I know I'm going to feel cold in about 20 minutes.

I don't dare touch my belly. I didn't eat very much just now because every mouthful came with something sour trying to crawl up my throat. I definitely ended up drinking more tea than I did eating soup--three steaming mugs compared to maybe five spoonfuls, three of which were entirely broth.

My mind is exhausted. I haven't slept much in the past two nights. Fever, chills, coughs--you name it kept me up until at least 5AM both nights. I blame the lack of sleep for the fact that I don't put it together in time--your question followed by my gesture--if I were in a better state of mind, I'd know what comes next. Instead, I close my eyes and lean into you, craving sleep more than anything else.

Your hands inch toward my tummy. I wince as another short and sour belch pushes up my throat and I whine at the left-over sour aftertaste. I whine again as your hands continue to roam. As your hands begin sliding more on my front than on my sides, I begin to shake my head, trying to beg you not to go through with the action.

"Hmm? Speak up, darling!" You chide.

I try to put it to words but my voice is not cooperating. I dissolve into a fit of violent coughs, choking on them, eyes widening as the harsh coughs threaten to trigger another bodily reaction. With a gross gurgle, I forcefully try to stop the coughs…my stomach clenches--on the brink--my throat is sour and my eyes flood with tears.

Your hands finally make their way onto my belly, sliding under the sweater to rub large circles over my camisole. My normally-trim stomach is bloated, filling the ribbed garment more than usual. It's firm under your palms. As you make your first slow pass over the sensitive area, I groan into your ear--a sound that turns into a whine as yet another sour belch burns through my throat.

I squirm in your grasp but that soon comes to an end. I'm too exhausted to keep it up and every movement causes something sour to spill upwards into my esophagus.

"Babe--you're…full." You exclaim. You're shocked--you weren't expecting five spoonfuls of soup to do this to my belly. Sure, three mugs of tea--but you've seen be down five within two hours and still be hungry for solid food.

I nod against your neck, hoping you get my predicament. My fingers dance over your front, tracing a path from your stomach-area upward. I do this a few times, falling into rhythm and timing it with the slow circles you're rubbing over my belly. As your hand goes down, mine does as well, on the return-swing my fingers dance upward and flick at your throat. This repeats maybe five times before I see realization spark in your eyes.

"Tickle in the throat…coughing?" You ask. I shake my head, placing more emphasis on the part where my hand starts at your stomach and then slides upward before I flick at your neck. "From your stomach…?" I nod. "Is something…coming up?" I nod again and wince as another short, sour burp erupts from my churning belly.

You continue to rub circles into my stomach--slower this time. I still feel like my stomach's a boiling mass ready to overflow, but the touch is nice. I'll have to remember to get you to do this tonight when the fever inevitably puts me through another 'freezing' cycle.

Eventually, you begin to add some playful kneading into the mix. I hiss the first time you do it, scooping my bloated stomach and basically squeezing at it. My esophagus burns and I let out a pitiful, pained exclaimation as it does.

"More tea might settle your stomach, love." You suggest, leaning over to refill my mug from the electric kettle we have on the counter behind you.

I shake my head, ignoring the tea as you bring it to my face. I press my face into your neck, avoiding the mug. I didn't eat much today, but my stomach feels over-full. Sour stuff has been trying to come back up since I woke up at noon. Honestly, at this point I don't even know what I want anymore. Having it come up might be a quicker way of feeling better, but the idea of choking on what feels like a sizeable amount of spew terrifies me. I can't breathe through my nose, I'm having a very hard time keeping air in my lungs due to the coughing fits, and my throat and head hurt more than I remember them ever hurting before. The idea of throwing up sounds like it'd finally get rid of the unrelenting, uncomfortable pressure in my belly--but it'd still be at least twenty or forty minutes of enduring absolute hell to achieve…and I don't know if I'll be able to withstand that at the moment.