#even though I don't feel better
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Time to return to work 😬👍
#even though I don't feel better#even though I still feel nauseous and awful#even though I'm in a ton of pain#but my doctor's note said to return on Monday so here we fucking are !!!!!!!!!!#i love capitalism!!!!!!!! i love having to work and make my body feel worse!!!!!!!!#i love not taking the proper time to heal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Yeah, Kris is definitely NOT alright.
FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT
MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)
#undertale#deltarune#utdr#crossover#crossover comic#undertale fanart#deltarune fanart#twin runes#twin runes comic#twin runes au#kris dreemurr#frisk#and we arrived at the breaking point#i know the last pages have been very depresso but i swear once this arc is over we'll get right back on track with the funnies#but first we have to deal with some DRAMA#imagine what it would be like if some otherworldly entity took over your body#and suddenly you start making friends and patching up old friendships#Something even your mother is proud of you for#even though it's not YOU doing that#you'd feel like people don't like YOU but only that parasite in your body#because without it you're just that creepy kid next door#you'd feel like the world would be better without you#at least that's what Kris must be feeling right now#i DO wonder what's up with this cave though#it clearly is NOT the exit#and what's with those markings outside and inside the cave?#hmmmmm
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Day 6: Geralt + ocean Favourite 90's Anime
I switched the prompts around again today! The 90's anime prompt tickled my brain since I saw it, because while I didn't see it in the 90's, my favourite anime of that time period is Berserk, and doesn't Berserk live rentfree in my brain to this day-
#spielzeugkaiser does inktober#artists on tumblr#art#berserk#guts berserk#griffith#PLEASE DON'T BE FOOLED#that is a bastard man!!!!!#I love griffith as a character but don't I wanna see him die terribly even though I LOVE HIM in a 'he deserves to be strangled' way#listen to everyone who knows berserk and nows my AUs this must be. like the “ahhh” moment. because of course I love berserk#am I a firm believer that things would have gone better if they fucked? maybe.#I have Berserk on the same shelf in my brain as Banana Fish. the 'don't touch because it upsets you so much' shelf#I love it tho (both of them)#god I need to do one of the prompts with banana fish too#I also decided I'll switch the prompts when I feel like it because. I wanna have fun
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#alan wake 2#alan wake#alex casey#ilkka villi#sam lake#i am not immune to beautiful finnish men#my adventures with photo mode#virtual photography#THE GODDAMN COLORING#i am. going. insane.#i feel personally attacked by the color yellow#i swear both of these shots looked good at one point#just...don't look at them for too long#originally i didn't even try to color correct these but y'all were so nice on the other post so i gave it another try :3#i kinda gave up on the alan shot though#i tried#but it's not getting any better#i'm over it honestly#enjoy
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"Sharp Teeth" (Sketch)
I liked the idea of this doodle, but it's just not coming together the way I'd like. Maybe I'll come back to it as a concept, but whatever I'm doing right now just isn't working for me >_<;
#gbunny draws#nsr#no straight roads#tatiana#sayu#yiruk#mayday#kliff#red 1010#1010#dj ss#dj subatomic supernova#this has been sitting in the drafts for a while#i thought that i would come back and make it better#but i never did#and with art fight about to start#i'm probably gonna prioritize that for the time being#so i'm just gonna post this as it is#even though there's just something off about it#i noticed that i don't really like using my textured brushes anymore#maybe i oughta find a new one#or change the settings on my current one#i dunno#i just feel like the default g-pen looks better these days
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Hadley Fraser showed up for two weeks rehearsal, almost forgot his line on stage, almost got singed by the props on stage, gave one of the best portrayals of Raoul in the history of the musical, and then dipped immediately from poto and its fandom
#hadley fraser#poto#phantom of the opera 25 anniversary#raoul de chagny#I legitimately don't think anyone has played Raoul better than him#it's hard to think of another Raoul that feels like a full character and a strong suitor against the phantom#even though Raoul should be the better choice among the two#musicals#phantom of the opera#though to be fair I haven't listened to a lot of poto casts#if there are others you'd recommend then I will gladly listen to them#but come on#it's the 25 anniversary cast#just some thoughts#twilight-zoned-out
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a haunting face,
is she a lost embrace?
#reverse 1999#r1999#reverse 1999 kakania#kakania#reverse 1999 isolde#isolde#isokania#isolde x kakania#fanart#titaniumart#i don't know how i feel abt this one ...#keep wondering if it wouldve looked better with lineart#even though i got too lazy to line all that#and would rather just jump to painting#composition's been in my head for quiiiiite awhile now#if there's anything in this drawing that doesn't make sense: Whatever
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shep I was talking to my brother about dbhc xisuma as one does and mentioned that ask about not being able to puzzle xisuma's face together mentally and my brother joked that the reason you put the spoiler bars and such on his face is cause you cant draw his whole face yet 😂
anyway I might have talked his ear off about dbhc idk tho lmao
LMAOO NOOOO!!! MY SECRET FINALLY IS OUT!!! /silly
#HEHE thats rly fun though i hope your brother is enjoying the osmosis XD#truthfully... drawing xisuma's face is still really difficult for me... bc he's always like. the character whose personality and character#like. comes from the fact that we never see his face? and so there's something about him that feels more... right when his face is just.#a mystery#but i DO have a facecanon for him. esp for dbhc bc its important. even if when i think Xisuma i don't think of his face the way i might whe#I think of other characters. that isn't the reason why I spoiler it though XD when we get the face reveal it'll be obvious enough. i hope#LMAO.#anyway#idk like#some of the first sketches i did of Xisuma's face will still be my favorites tbh#it's hard to capture the same energy of a rough sketch when you try to sharpen those soft edges into a clean picture yknow?#i HAVE gotten better at it though.... square-ish face but soft on the edges... kind blue eyes... hair always tied back tightly and neatly#idk. i think about him a LOT#especially lately but we knew this hehehe#i think he deserves to take the helmet off every once and a while and just. breathe and get out of his own head yknow#i think he gets better at it in s9 even if he only takes it off around people he really trusts (keralis and cleo)#not that doc hasnt seen him or that he distrusts doc but... well. that whole relationship is a work in progress since season 8 was. well#anyway im really and truly rambling <3#xisumas face is both an enigma to me and a soft sturdy shape in my brain... its hard to replicate consistently but those doodles are#just for me anyway =w= <3#(and a few select others. who Know. you know who you are)
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hi Silver! o/ because that fanart made me wonder - would you happen to know when/where Dick's stuffed elephant plush Zitka turns up in the comics?
GREETINGS CAM <3333 THAT ART WAS SO CUTE
Yeah, I think your instincts are right - it's a truly adorable bit of transformative fandom, but I'm 95% percent sure it's not comics canon. Barbara has canon plushies, but I don't think anyone else does.
I got kinda invested in the investigation (it's hard to prove a negative!) and I ended up typing out an entire History of Elinore/Zitka, so, uh, if you're curious, meet me below the cut for:
Where does Elinore / Zitka - the animal - appear in comics?
Did Dick ever have a stuffed elephant toy in comics?
Where does Elinore / Zitka appear in comics?
We're gonna go in chronological order!
Dick's circus elephant friend was first created for practical reasons: in Batman 436, Marv Wolfman does a big expanded flashback to Dick's circus backstory as a way to subtly show us Tim before officially introducing him (so that we can have a technically-solvable mystery-of-Tim's-identity in LPoD). In this comic, there's an elephant named Elinore who loves Dick:
Aww. Such a cute elephant!
Batman 436 comes out in August 1989. New Titans 60 comes out a few months later, in November, and guess what? When Dick visits the circus, he is suddenly surprised by an unexpected blast from the past! It turns out that even though it's been years, Elinore still remembers him!
Here's the part where Elinore remembers Dick:
SUCH a cute elephant. I love her.
(Guess who else still remembers Dick even though it was so long ago. Guess which other character is about to be an unexpected blast from the past. Guess which character Elinore is directly paralleling guess guess guess sorry everything is about Dick and Tim in my mind but I can focus I swear)
Four years later, in 1993, Batman: The Animated Series retells Dick's origin story. They like and keep Wolfman's elephant, but they change her name to Zitka:
Wolfman doesn't return to the elephant beyond those two appearances, and a few years down the line, New Titans gets cancelled and Wolfman's not writing Dick anymore anyway. So the animal gets abandoned for a while, until Devin Grayson, a fan of both Wolfman and B:tAS, revives the Wolfman-era Titans team in JLA/Titans and then the ongoing series Titans 1999.
Grayson then brings back the elephant in a flashback to Dick's past in Titans 16 (Jun 2000), where she imports the B:tAS name. Sometimes I'm skeptical of TV-to-comics imports, but honestly, I endorse this one. You lose the alliteration, which is a shame, but IMO Zitka is a better elephant name than Elinore.
Here's Dick with the newly-christened Zitka in Titans 16:
Grayson also briefly references the elephant in Gotham Knights 20 and - in a final angsty callback - in Nightwing 88 (Feb 2004), where Zitka tries futilely to comfort Dick in the midst of his trauma conga line:
... And... honestly, I think that's it for comic appearances? The two Wolfman comics plus the three Grayson comics.
Both Wolfman and Grayson are writing multiple titles - Batman, New Titans, Titans, Gotham Knights, and Nightwing between the two of them, spanning a big chunk of Dick's post-Crisis canon - and both writers use the elephant for heartwarming moments of nostalgia, which means if you're doing a post-Crisis readthrough for Dick, Elinore/Zitka feels memorable. But I don't think she actually shows up that much.
For post-2011, I am not as well-informed - throwing this out to the dash? anyone know? - but I feel like Zitka the heartwarming symbol of Dick's heartwarming circus past is, uh, thematically very at odds with the Court of Owls evil!circus vibes, so my instinct is that this story element was almost certainly dropped in the reboot.
Did Dick ever have a stuffed elephant toy in comics?
In WFA, yes; in main comics continuity, no. Technically, I have not read every comic ever published, so I could be wrong!! But I don't think so.
Below, find my rambling reasoning on the tonal vibes of pre-Crisis, post-Crisis, and post-2011, and why this particular story element doesn't seem right to me for the first two.
Pre-Crisis (...okay, mostly the Silver Age): stuffed animal, yes or no?
tl;dr no, requires too much background knowledge on the part of the reader, plus the elephant wasn't a thing until later
Elinore doesn't get created until post-Crisis, but also just generally, pre-Crisis callbacks are more along the lines of this reference in Batman 129 (published in 1960), where, wow, Batman and Robin are hunting jewel thieves - and it turns out Robin recognized this strongman! BUT HOW?!
The comic goes on to recap Dick's entire origin story in flashback, on the assumption that you may not know it.
(BTW, if you'd like to know more about Haly's Circus throughout the years, nightwingology has a great post here summarizing a lot of fun plotlines and characters!)
Basically: Silver Age comics are very self-consciously episodic and kid-friendly; they're not generally gonna do overly-elaborate callbacks because they don't know what comics their kid readers may have randomly picked up or remember.
By the time of post-Crisis, comic books were being written for an adult audience buying from the direct market, i.e. readers who are collecting whole runs & don't need or want Dick's origin story to be recapped to us in full every time it's referenced. That's why in post-Crisis, we get stuff like "hey, neat, this particular soda brand is getting mentioned in several different books!!" or "in order to understand this story arc, buy SIXTEEN DIFFERENT COMICS in FIVE DIFFERENT RUNS and read them ALL ACCORDING TO A NUMBERED ORDER and also you better be following the individual plotlines and recognize these five minor characters who we don't bother to introduce!! Good luck!!" But the elaborate post-Crisis plotlines - and subtler worldbuilding like a stuffed animal callback to Dick's backstory - don't make a lot of story sense UNLESS you're imagining your readers as completionist adult fans.
So IMO a stuffed animal wouldn't be a pre-Crisis thing unless it was The Episodic Story Of the Week, and I don't think a stuffed animal is action-adventure-y enough for the fast-paced storytelling of the Silver Age. (Unless it, like, came to life and tried to eat you or something.)
Post-Crisis: stuffed animals, yes or no?
tl;dr: no, Dick's a manly tough guy, he's not gonna have a stuffed animal, that'd be lame, like something Tim might do
Part of the edgy grimdark adult vibes in 80s/90s comics is that some characters who used to be kinda silly & goofy & lighthearted - like Batman and Robin - get reimagined as Serious and Angsty and Edgy in a Tough Cool Manly Brooding Way. This massively affects characterization for Bruce, Dick, and Bruce and Dick's relationship.
(I obviously love this change & love the tense Bruce-and-Dick interactions, but plenty of fans of the earlier fluffy comics really disliked the edgy retcons of Miller / Wolfman / Starlin / et al.)
The upshot is that post-Crisis is a period when you could have a recurring reference like a stuffed elephant, but you wouldn't have a stuffed elephant, not for Dick. I think a toy like that would be too cutesy / childish / effeminate to give a male character in post-Crisis, unless you were poking fun at him.
Now, you could probably let Tim have a stuffed animal, because Tim is sometimes cool but also sometimes a tryhard loser who is faking being cool and not entirely pulling it off (see e.g. the Robin comic where he practices tough-guy faces in the mirror, or the Teen Titans comic where Conner discovers his cringy Enya CD, or when he's fanboying over Connor and it's awkward, etc etc.). A stuffed animal would be deeply embarrassing, and you'd have to be careful to compensate by having Tim do something cool afterward - but Tim's character concept allows for "he's kind of a loser sometimes."
But Dick isn't!! In post-Crisis, Dick's a tough / impressive / "cool guy" character, the kind of guy anyone would want to be, even in the flashbacks where he's Robin, and even in the stories where he's more lighthearted than angsty. It'd be kinda lame for Dick to have a stuffed elephant, so he wouldn't. I feel like Dick would be more likely to poke fun at it if someone had one, like when he's making fun of Wally for liking the Hardy Boys. Dick could have a Batman action figure, at most, and if he had one he would have it ironically.
Basically: in post-Crisis, a male character hugging a stuffed elephant feels more likely to be a punchline to me, not something poignant. (Even with Tim, Tim could have an embarrassing stuffed animal, but he couldn't hug it when sad - that's too far. Maybe Booster Gold might do this. Probably he wouldn't, but spiritually, he would. Sorry Booster ilu! <3)
Instead, Dick instinctively deals with his inner turmoil like the TORTURED ACTION HERO he is: by punching things and brooding and yelling and joining the mob and sleeping on rooftops and going on obsessive secret missions and acquiring Angsty Stubble!! Just like Batman!
(Technically I don't know if Bruce ever joined the mob but you know he would.)
Anyway as you know this is my favorite continuity and I am poking fun affectionately, but uh, yeah sdfsfdsfs. No stuffed animals.
Post-2011 / Infinite Frontier / Wayne Family Adventures: stuffed animals, yes or no?
tl;dr it's in WFA! Probably not anywhere else, but it could be.
Post-2011 stuff tends to be cutesier overall, most of all in the current Infinite Frontier era. So I don't feel like this would be tonally out-of-line with IF comics. Taylor tends to go for more meme-y references rather than fanfic references, though.
So the obvious best fit is WFA, which is aiming for a rough approximation of Silver Age family-friendly vibes - wholesome, episodic plots, Teaching Good Moral Lessons For The Youth, etc. - plus lots of Easter eggs for fanfic readers and some comic references.
And look, here we are:
Aww.
Whew - that's everything I could find!
Anyway as you can probably tell, I LOVE the elephant, so this was a very entertaining rabbit hole to go down, thank you <3
#dick grayson#anyone with more info feel free to chime in & we can crowdsource <3#i do think the toy elephant is awfully cute though <3#total digression but i was thinking about it as i was writing:#i'm fascinated by the ways that the post-crisis batboys & their stories can intersect with 90s masculinity and all its issues with stoicism#and i'm pro-queering and gender-bending - 90s comics were a total boys' club so i think it's neat that transformative fandom isn't#but i do love 90s masculinity and All Its Issues too & one of the things i find compelling about the dick-tim-bruce trio#& especially dick's place in it - is the unspoken hierarchy whereby bruce is manlier than dick & dick is manlier than tim#and so dick's in the middle as this somewhat softer-character who aspires to be a harsher & more stoic & ultimate manly-man character#caught in the middle between robin & batman & what each role represents#and like. batman is both manhood & the only desirable thing to be AND ALSO it represents this immense narrowing of possibility#because so much of stereotypical masculinity is about reducing the range of emotions you're allowed to have or express#and dick is both incredibly conflicted about bruce AND wants to be just like him & by extension is conflicted about masculinity writ large#so a lot of dick's interactions with tim veer between trying on a frat-boy-ish 'I'm The Manly Guy' persona vs. giving up on it#or trying on imitations of Bruce's Batman persona but also trying to backtrack out of it bc he doesn't like how it feels etc etc#ANYWAY i think what i am trying to say is that if tim had a stuffed animal dick would be entertained & poke mild fun at him#and call him 'teddy' for the next hour or something while tim got increasingly defensive about how the teddy bear was steph's#and/or about how the teddy bear was OLD and tim doesn't even care about it and also WHATEVEr i'm above this#and to an uninformed observer this might look like bullying BUT ACTUALLY#this ritual would IN FACT be very reassuring to both of them + tim would feel WAY better afterward than if dick had ignored it#because by poking fun at him dick shows he still respects tim enough to tease him thus subtextually exorcising the threat of wimpiness#plus allowing tim to defend himself & demonstrate that he can take a joke so they've both reaffirmed their masculinity to each other#& they don't have to be scared of the teddy bear and all it represents anymore#however also afterward dick would have a brief nostalgic flashback to when he was a kid & had a teddy bear & feel weird about the memory#because he would be unable to articulate to himself that what he misses is a past when he allowed himself to be vulnerable#anyway this wouldn't actually happen in comics but it's what would happen in my soul. you know.#ask tag#zitka
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I think about how some people actually hate on Yuji, Nobara and Megumi and get confused because I went into JJK and by episode 3 I adored them.
#like what you mean you don't like them?#best girl and best boys? unbelievable#they easily became my favorite anime trio#their dynamic actually feels fresh and enjoyable#like genuine you know?#individually i say they're great on their own too#nobara being a girl into girly things while also not afraid to get blood she instantly won me over#true to herself good for her#I'm sorry megumi isn't some angsty teenager who has that typical 'I'm better than you' attitude#he actually is relatable because sometimes i don't care to have all that energy and I'm usually energetic!#he has a heart and his actions can be understood IF SOME OF YOU ACTUALLY TAKE A STEP BACK AND READ AND OPEN YOUR MINDS#then there's yuji! HE IS THE MC! HELLO?!#even though he's gifted yuji is humble about it#he's selfless he's a goof and sometimes he isn't with the bull some characters pull#i can go all day about my fave but i already got posts#just kiya's thoughts#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#itadori yuji#kugisaki nobara#fushiguro megumi#megumi fushiguro#yuji itadori#nobara kugisaki
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shout out object shows with canon queer ships. I'm talking on screen kiss or even just verbal confirmation. all things considered it's a bit strange you don't really see them that much when you think about how gay everyone here is. I love you ii but c2bc did what you didn't and I think that's actually really nice.
#girl makes claims when there's 1 more ep for ii and many more for c2bc. police arrest her.#inanimate insanity#ii#osc#silver's mental breakdown#c2bc#c2bc spoilers#do we do that here or what#fireball c2bc#pound c2bc#i always misread his tag as pound cake. i am but a fool#also is firepound mildly fanbrush coded ir am i kind of losing it. it's someone and pb. because fireball is very pb coded. inspired? somethi#ng. also c2bc totally takes influences from ii and we all noticed that right. it's not a bad thing. ii is my favorite show. but like. “im nb#.“ ik there was like no other way to say it but that's exactly what pb says in s3. ”he wants to make a boys club!“ ”im nb.“ ”i mean... a no#girls club!!!!“ i think i lile c2bc but im bot 100% sure? i saw someone comment that all the chars are likeable but like. speaker isn't!! st#op bullying my girl corky!! she's literally not that bad! don't get me started on beerkeg. i dont feel bad that he was manipped bcus like. d#ude she said no. leave ger alone#!!#i dont feel bad for him at all snd even cheered when princess hat (?) started using him even though it was not the greatest move and not sup#er healthy. s2's cast is still mych better though. justice for portal though!!!!!!! gone too soon. i kinda shipped. princess hat (?) and tap#e measure in s1 btw i never told anyone that but I did think it. service bell is like a taco i like mych less. and shout out firepound and m#mirror book. pretty crazy how gay objects can just live in my head and i let them do that. anyways sorry for writing a whole nother post in#the tags i just haven't shared my thoughts yet and wanted to lol.#i like it i think#firepound#<- oh hey look gay people
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Nothing like Heartstopper S2E8 removing some of Taylor Swift's "seven" lyrics just so that the singing can specifically come back in at "Or hide in the closet" while Isaac is processing difficult emotions related to the book he's reading (i.e., Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen).
Did I mention "Or hide in the closet" hits just as the camera focus finishes shifting away from Isaac?
This is fine
#This is not fine#Warning: Long tags ahead (2 topics)#TOPIC 1:#I'm glad Isaac feels safe enough to be reading this book and processing emotions around his friends#That's the positive spin on “he's quietly dealing with a lot while next to his friends and they're not noticing and he's not sharing" right#The contrast of this with the happy friend-bonding montage time feels purposeful and sad (esp. with lyrics about staying in the closet)#but on the bright side this is in the midst of happy friend-bonding montage time so we also see them having happy bonding times together#- showing the friendship is still strong even if right now Isaac isn't wholly known or fully fitting#Hopefully this is leading to Isaac telling his friends what he's going through in S3 and the friendships adapting to fit him better#TOPIC 2:#Also - don't think it's unintentional that where the camera focus shifts to is Nick with his arms around Charlie and then kissing his head#I think we're being purposefully distracted from Isaac with allo 'cuteness'#Because what the other characters often get swept up in - especially as they all couple up in S2 - is alloromantic/allosexual interactions#And that's frequently what the world prioritises or cares more about too#I think the show is intentionally calling everyone - from the characters to us watching them to the whole world - out#So that hopefully we (general) can all be more aware and do better#[In case you were wondering this N&C/Isaac scene is also right after we see short clips of Elle & Tao and Tara & Darcy cuddling -#which also seems very intentional: Isaac - sandwiched in between views of cuddling couples - alone in more ways than one]#CONCLUSION:#I think everything is working together to highlight the contrast between what N&C and Isaac are respectively experiencing in this moment#Did I mention this is not fine?#It is well done though#heartstopper mini moment#isaac henderson#aroace#aromantic asexual#lgbtqia+#queer#taylor swift#seven
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would i be considered a lunatic if i said that horror's story could be read as a parallel for SA. Hear Me Out: (obviously be careful for reading this bc like,,, sensitive topic)
i feel like the largest parallel could be the actual event of getting his eye taken. a part of his body is "taken" and literally or metaphorically horror was pinned down and forced to give up his body (even worse considering that a literal part of him was PULLED out with a foreign object designed solely to hurt HIM SPECIFICALLY). it's digusting and horror claws and fights his way out to prevent it but unfortunately it still ends up happening no matter what he could've done. no matter how many backup plans or extra contibutions or begging or fighting he did. which like. sounds honestly pretty simple to the reality of victims of SA. that hopelessness of knowing that even if you did as much as you could, covering up, devoting yourself to a life of chastity, not hanging with people like thay, there's still a chance that something bad could happen and all of a sudden everyone's out to get you and how could they just stand by and do NOTHING while you were left to suffer and defend yourself
which leads onto the next point i wanna bring up which is horror's rage immediately after getting his eye stolen. his anger at the betrayal is (very justified my boy did nothing to deserve this) solely about him and his bodily autonomy. undyne (and alphys ig,,,,) couldn't consider ANY other possible solution than to deprive him of his autonomy and decide to just take what they wanted from his body??? AND THE FACT THAT ALPHYS SAID THAT HE MIGHT AGREE TO GIVING UP HIS EYE? it's giving very much so "oh it'll feel good so don't worry" type shit or whatever (horrortale alphys i DONT like you). a betrayal at the hands of someone you trusted a lot about your bodily autonomy? it just gives off that sort of parallel
and the sheer anger and fury that horror felt and enacted on alphys and undyne and everyone else at the CORE just like DUDE. that is a type of anger that only comes out when you've been deeply wronged. sometimes when a horrific experience like getting SAed happens you just wanna explode and drag down everyone around you and ESPECIALLY the perpetrators no matter how much you rationalize. you can have as many people as you want try to convince you that revenge and being hateful isnt the way but it doesn't matter because they havent been wronged the way youve been. horror deserved to be that cruel because undyne and alphys were just as cruel back to him, so he'll be the same and return it 10fold (he probably wasnt even out of bones when he decided to turn them into chips he just wanted to make it a point that he didn't even need to use his full strength to hurt the guards. horror could've EASILY killed alphys but no he wanted it to hurt for her so she could live a life of eternal suffering and fall to her lowest and to ESPECIALLY hurt undyne. because they deserve to suffer just as much as he did if not more for the crime commited against him)
a betrayal as bad as alphys's is only worsened when she tells him that she doesnt regret a single thing about using him for the underground. that has to be the single most infuriating thing for horror to hear because WHAT DO YOU MEAN alphys doesn't regret a thing? that's exactly what some people gloat about after doing terrible things; they try to sweep it under the rug as nothing that bad or justify it OR JUST STRAIGHT UP ADMIT IT!!! nah horrortale alphys deserved to suffer idc
and back onto that feeling of wanting to kick and scream and drag everyone else down with you after being left so used and betrayed due to getting SAed: i know it was bad that horror tricked snowdin into eating humans it was TERRIBLY BAD but really horror was just operating on anger and spite and the need for vengeance. nobody in snowdin ever did anything to hurt him (and i'm sure horror knows that considering he definitely regrets what he did) but to him maybe they also should feel the pain he feels so they can all relate. so that they can't try and fight against him when he says his side of the story and say that undyne was right with what she did. that maybe he wouldn't feel so absolutely devastated after what happened if he saw everyone around him suffering too, and maybe JUST MAYBE he'd get a bit of something back from his sacrifice that he never consented to
i KNOW i'm not reaching with this but idk if i phrased it the best. but to me horror's story really does genuinely parallel to one of an SA survivor's: the betrayal, the anger, the feeling of loneliness and isolation and just feeling absolutely used for a simple thing as your body. chapter 4 of horrortale really is amazing storytelling and so is horror (he was reasonable in what he did IDC WHAT ANYONE SAYS he might be WRONG but it was reasonable. i love horror sans)
#i'm sorry if this is like kinda not srs enough for this topic just know that this came from a place of genuine relation to horror#his story resonates a lot to me about my own personal experiences and the anger and betrayal i felt myself#and i just wanted to point out the similarities i saw 🙁#i think that maybe even without realizing it that he might feel replused at sex and especially the intimacy part#touching his eye socket or head wound is like reliving the entire situation over again and he does NOT WANT THAT AT ALL#its a part of his body that he cant just get rid of because it's necessary which SUCKS#the snarkiness that horror has against undyne even after 7 years is so real#you NEVER forgive your abuser in that situation. i know damn well that the grudge will continue to last on for many more years to come#one day horror and undyne might be able to make up and coexist but horror wont ever be able to TRULY forgive her#a part of you changes viscerally for the worse when you go through something so traumatic#and i think horror's outburst fits that change a lot. it seems almost sudden how quickly he goes from sans to horror#and even though he was still spiralling before the CORE he probably wouldn't have changed so drastically without a betrayal THIS bad#he better get the BEST potential ending in horrortale or else i will RIOT#if aliza doesnt save horrortale and give them all the freedom they DESPERATELY NEED#SAS pls SAS pls don't doom them even more than they already are thats all i need#this metaphor is made even worse with my idea that killer or dust pull him around by the eye or skull#probably not dust (when he's calm (when he's not all boundaries get thrown out the window)#but with killer probably. he doesn't particularly care about what horror wants or keeps to himself#if it gets a barely amusing reaction then sure whatever. horror gets unreasonably pissed anyway for someone who just got his eye taken#in fights they could make it a point to hold onto his skull near the eyewound as tightly as possible#just to make it HURT. dust wants horror to remember him with as much hate as he does for undyne#killer does it to get him to remember that moment except this time no he can't fight back. just to keep him in line#it sucks i know but this trio was never truly made to improve eachother. they were made to drag eachother down worse than they already are#tricule analyze#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio#utmv
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as much as I would like to believe that Frederick and Asuka could be friends again, like, Freddy is building that rocket as fast as he can to kick his ass before the residual FoC and Gear power leaves his body. I'm sorry. I know I'm the Asuka apologist but dude. Nearly 2 centuries of the most unimaginable agony and festering sense of betrayal, compounded by Asuka goading him intentionally on multiple occassions (his reasoning behind all this goading aside) he is not just going to be able to let that go.
Asuka's crimes against humanity are one thing, you can argue til you're blue in the face about that and there's actual ground to cover there, but what he did to Frederick and Aria is like... damn dude. You, without their consent, turned them into gears. You lied about it to their faces too. Aria, someone who is cited as having her identity and who she is as a human being be one of the most important things to her, trusted you to put her into cryosleep because you said you'd find a way to save her so that she could be with Frederick. She didn't want that, she wanted to stay and spend the time she had left with Frederick instead, but she let you convince her cause she trusted you. And you took away her body, identity, and autonomy. You took Sol's humanity from him following that, lied to him about it, and then spent 200 years pissing him off so bad on purpose to make sure he'd always be there to help you fix everything. Oh, and then you made him kill his wife that you mutilated. Twice, essentially.
I love you Asuka, but shit, that's all kinds of levels of fucked my man. Frederick justifiably hates you really REALLY bad. I hope we get something in Dual Rulers settling this, cause Frederick just letting that go even following the events of Strive is just kinda unrealistic.
#sairambles#guilty gear#frederick bulsara#sol badguy#asuka r kreutz#aria hale#I've been thinking about it a lot recently#I think it'd take me like actual years to cover just this dynamic between the three of them alone#like Asuka and Sol being friends is important to me but#it's not really feasible. Sol's whole life and world was ruined for about 2 centuries#and Asuka is manipulative! He admits to that!#like at the end of the day it sucks but the price of saving the world was his most important relationships#and that is a tragedy because his very desire to cling desperately to the most important people in his life#is exactly what ruined him in the end#and that fucks me up SO bad#and then you gotta feel for Freddy too#like he essentially got caught in the crossfire#I forgot to talk about it in the post but he also had to spend those centuries suppressing violent gear bloodlust#like he wears that limiter for a reason#and Asuka made him that way on purpose. He “needed a warrior” as he says in Overture#it's all just. so fucked#it's crazy to see how much AsuSol there is and then how much “Sol hates Ky” there is next to it#Like... Sol and Ky are borderline familial#ESPECIALLY by the end of Xrd#Asuka though? He wants to kill that guy. Or at the VERY least beat him within an inch of his life#and even then man like#is that going to be enough?#after aria and 200 years of agony#like how much ass beating is really going to make you feel better? Is there any amount of violence that will let you get it all out?#shit man I don't think any amount would be enough for me
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hi my beloveds <3 i just wanted to say, i feel so bad lately for not being a better friend and mutual, and i'm so incredibly sorry for that :( i haven't been in a great place mentally these past few months, and i feel so guilty for the fact that i struggle to be active and positive on here. i've been really horrible about keeping up with people and messages and fics etc, and even though i know this is just a hobby and just for fun, i do consider many of you my friends <3 i care about you all so very much and i feel so selfish for being so neglectful of everyone. it's just been very hard for me to balance things in my personal life and on here, and i am truly truly sorry i can't be better about it. i love you always, and i hope everyone knows that <3
#i posted something along these lines on my personal but#i know not everyone saw it or doesn't follow that blog so#i just wanted to say something again#bc even though i know this isn't true i've just been feeling a lot like everyone hates me :( or that i don't care about them#when that could not be farther from the truth#i'm planning on archiving or going inactive at the end of the month if i'm not feeling better by then bc#i just feel like i'm very much stuck in a bad cycle rn and i can't keep doing it to myself anymore.#until then i'll pop on and off here as i have been.#but please know i'm thankful for each and every one of you <3#i'm always thinking of you and wishing the best for you
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I'm mostly talking about Armand and Lestat recently because I'm catching up on the books and TVC Louis so far has been lacking. But don't get me wrong, I LOVE show Louis. It's even harder to fall for book Louis because Jacob set the bat way too damn fucking high. He is 80%, if not the *whole* reason why Louis is so compelling to me.
#I did not read IWTV tho#I will eventually#But I read Merrick and even though book Louis got a bit better for me it's still not *IT*#For example I like Flavius who is a secondary character on Pandora's book better than him lmao#So I don't know how I'll feel with IWTV#But Jacob Anderson is a GOD doing the Lord's work and performing miracles with his acting#And I'll be forever grateful for it and for his existence as a whole#KING
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