#even tho laurence has NEVER called him that before

[presidentheartbeat6]

BONUS:

(Text:

Laurence: “I am dreadfully sorry we did not tell you earlier, Temeraire.”

Temeraire: “Oh, it is not that (I have known about you and Tharkay for months now, really it is no great big secret…), it is just… must you call him ‘my Dear’?”

Laurence: “…”)

Me posting something without granby in it??? Who even am I???????

Oh also I have no idea how to draw dragons but I tried!!!

[katyspersonal]

Heyo! How about sharing some Bloodborne ships opinions/ideas? It's been a while since you talked about those!

To be honest, 'Bloodborne ships' is a concept so boundless and infinite that 'bottomless Sea' compared to it is just a pathetic shallow puddle, because in my monkey brain a BB ship is any character + any character out of consenting adults who are not blood related (and even in THAT case you'll probably have ghosts of people who ship Maria with Annalise trashing your pots at night at least once *eyesroll*). So I think, for the sake of this post having a start AND an end, I'll only touch upon "acknowledged" ships.

THAT'S RIGHT FOLKS, time to recall what is POPULAR! OOOooooOOOOoooooOOOHHHH-

WHO LIVES IN THE RESEARCH HALL UNDER THE SEA?

MAAAAARIAAADELINE

Mariadeline - I am always back and forth on this ship. It is shifting between 'it doesn't seem to have came to fruition in canon since Adeline addresses Maria as her superior, and also the ship is better in Adeline's Blood Saint stage since the horror of the Research Hall doesn't fit for some uwu fluff, and Adeline seems to be too carried by Arcane to care for simple human happiness anymore' and 'since WHEN canon "evidence" and timeline could stand in the way of imagination and simply enjoying the ideas?'. A struggle between my brain and my pp..... I think I like pretty much any way to go about this ship, but in my heart it will always be superior as attraction that not only never been resolved, but also has been a breaking point for Maria, with Adeline dying in her arms no less.

I do think they'd make a cute dynamic, it is absolutely the case where one does full autistic ramblings about their special interest (Adeline) and another just listens (Maria). I also do think they both suck at being direct about their feelings and every AU where they DID date needs the third party as a wingman xD

Laudwig (or Holyvicar, as I see often) - I do not have strong feelings on this ship? My engagement with this ship is passive (ie I just see fanart of it on my dashboard/timeline and might like it). It has a huge depth and drama potential, though! Which one became the beast first and how another reacted? How much Ludwig really knew about the Healing Church's nasty secrets; how much Laurence was hiding from him about their impending doom in the name of potential progress? I can say whereas Logarius is arguably a more useful 'pawn' in the grand plans, Ludwig's more knightly, 'naive' honor could more likely win Laurence over. I actually wrote my interpretation of the ship once! Observe:

Not a flawless ship, as Laurence has to keep many skeletons in his closet and Ludwig would have been sick if he learned HALF of the shit Laurence has to hide… Besides, there is no saying if Ludwig would spare Laurence should his precious moon sword call for hurting him. This relationship is more of a game with neigher side being allowed into depths of another's soul. However, despite his higher status, Laurence would be the one feeling more shy, helpless and red in the face because Ludwig is so big and strong and radiates hope and joy, whereas Ludwig would be more of passionate no-insecurity caring lover that had already organized a pretty date before Laurence even as much as had a THOUGHT about one. Alas with canon context in mind, this "ship" works better as a plot device to show messed up things about Church and things people gotten themselves into, to the point of no longer being allowed deep, genuine bonds.

Gehrmaurence (???) - This is canon because Gehrman basically moans his name in his sleep lol

Ok ok or OK seriously tho! I am kind of rooting for this ship and am always happy to see it recognised, I just, yet again, am passive about it and just 'like it when I see it'. It is undeniable that Laurence and Gehrman were close. Gehrman trusted Laurence enough to give himself to the "insidious Moon" in faith that Laurence WILL succeed at his designs while he sustains the Hunt for him, and WILL free him then. I do think that realising he has been failing Gehrman miserably was one of Laurence's most horrible, devastating fears when beasthood was taking him over, maybe even the last cry of his humanity. But it is that situation where character can share very deep and intimate bond without romantic involvement and it is still good; I'll certainly take them as 'friends doomed by the narrative' JUST as willingly as 'lovers doomed by the narrative'.

Gehrmaria - I do not even know whether I want to share my honest feelings about this one... lol OF COURSE I DO because nobody read the post to this point except for you anyway! xD Alright, but upon my arrival in the fandom, when I was digging up my own lore and sometimes comparing it to the fandom popular one, I was content with the idea that Doll creation was Kinda Sus and Gehrman was a bit creepy. Then I found Bellringermal's blog and was like 'OMG CURSED but you go girl!!!!!!'. Then I started to slowly develop the enjoyment of the ship that I desperately tried to deny and suppress because, again, back then I saw Gehrman as a creep, so I just blamed Mal

Yo but do you remember what actually triggered my researcher streak? OH LAURENCE OF COURSE YOU REMEMBER-

Right, I've had that dream about a snow/ice Great One attacking altered Yharnam, several characters gathering in a castle built-in the mountain, Rom being pregnant from Simon (wtf!!!!!!!) and… Maria was there too. There was that brief moment where Gehrman was awkwardly trying to see her from the shadows and someone asked Maria like 'hey who is that guy following you everywhere :т', from which Gehrman got scared and chickened away, and Maria was like '…nobody important'.

So after that time I woke up with the strange +15 Insight effect, because something about her intonation, her face and the context made me perceive the depth to which that bond went, and the complexity of her resentment. You know how in the dreams you sometimes can just... 'perceive' feelings and information that wasn't directly said? Telepathy. Makes sense, because dreams happen in the brain... or... DO THEY? So, I knew I NEEDED to grasp that exact sentiment and find out WHAT Maria was feeling in my dream. It felt significant. So that day I dived EXTRA deep into research and wrote the 'Let's analyze Gehrman, Maria and the Doll' ( x ) that not only is my real, genuine take on the relationship, but also the girls liked it and some changed previously harshly negative opinion on Gehrman.

I still wish I never poked my nose deeper on the matter and things just stayed that way, because this is the only controversial ship in the fandom and it constantly brings out the worst in fans. Letting people enjoy their ship and have their takes on the old man is far too much to ask from a western community, so for every toxic, mean-spirited, disrespectful hiss towards Gehrmaria shippers, I kept discovering new counter-evidence, new ways to see Maria and new redeeming qualities about Gehrman! Until I've lost the sight of whether I myself actually SHIP it, started to root for this ship to pick-up and prosper as a matter of 'cool people keep winning', lost the creepy but so needed 'darkness' of this ship as a concept... And although PLENTY of people thanked me for "saving" Gehrman's ass and the ship as a concept (not exaggerating), sometimes I wonder: would not it have been better to just leave things as they were and enjoy my own thing in secluded, individualist way?

Pfffft LMAO mfw you came to listen about ship dramas, but ended up listening about my PERSONAL dramas XD But yeah, my interpretation here is pretty darn simple. Maria might have had a crush but by now is greatly disappointed - based on Gehrman's curiosity that WAS digging through corpses to seek eyes for Willem, but she is disappointed in herself more than in him, he taught her a great deal but she also got her gentler, sweeter side practically ruined by the hunt, he liked her but never dared to approach her because of age gap and he just felt undeserving, he could not even dream of her because of his own regrets and crashing realisation of how much he failed her - including not being there for her to prevent her Minecraft… Another case of ship that never came to fruition in canon. But in an AU where it did happen, I think it would be bittersweet; Gehrman is older and beaten up by hard life, and is a callous brick in emotional situations at times, so their relationship would know some conflicts; not a bad thing, arguments are normal! They're both tough outside and gentle inside, both are capable of great self-sacrifice but also of great war crimes, lol. But Gehrman is just… a bit dead inside? They have enough in common to get along, but not enough to get bored by each other.

Valmura/Valtmura/whatever - Funny enough, they do somewhat remind me of how Gehrmaria is in my head! The 'dead inside', somewhat cruel and callous murderous mentor figure that Seen Some Shit before and might be intimidating with how far he goes and his sensitive, emotional, slightly naive, passionate student with great knightly chivalry that is effectively broken by walking this mentor's path, LOL.

So the same sort of relationship that is not ideal and almost certainly is canonically SCREWED, only Valtr pulls his big boy pants and sucks the grief up instead of succumbing to despair to the point of madness. I think this is a nice ship, the dynamic is great! Just the perfect balance of 'similar enough to get along but enough differences to have productive conflicts and not be bored' I do not find very often! (Also yes I keep completely disregarding power imbalance of mentor/student for both this ship and previous one, I hope ya'll are still hooked </3 )

Gasgoryk - I used to dislike this ship, actually! No shit, outright going 'grrrrrrr' seeing it because it reminded me too much of my internet childhood during my 12-13 years where the girls would always neglect the male character's canon crush/lover/wife to not "stand in the way" for their gay ship! It just felt like Viola was pushed aside despite being mother of Gasc's children...? And I thought the two ships could not coexist because Henryk MUST be Viola's father (source: younger daughter mentioning 'grandpa'). But I've since seen plenty of good interpretations, justifications for 'grandpa' commentary, and all in all, setting events in the past and AUs still exist! I just don't mind by now, I simply prefer Gascola more! But I think I enjoy the thought that Henryk might have had silent crush on Gascoigne that he never delivered and it was too late when he got engaged with his daughter; but the pain was forgotten when the first child was born!

Gascola - A lot to explore, a lot to speculate (wholesome and not much), doomed by narrative, IS CANON! Everything I love. Will always prefer this ship to Gascoryk or Violeen because... canon... guys this is SUPER canon... and they also have children, guys you don't understand, it is ACTUAL family... (too bad they all fucking die lol)

Micorom/Romicolash/whatever - This, my fellas, was my very first ship when I poked my nose in Bloodborne! I clicked with Rom so much almost instantly, and Mal was my first exposure to the ship, as well! I thought absolutely nothing could be more fun. Back then, my Rom had a different personality (simply she was sassy, bitter and a bit tired from being overworked by Micolash and Willem). I was fully prepared to become a Micorom type of fan and give this ship soooooooooo. muuuuuuuuch. CONTENT. ...but at some point I saw this:

And EVERYTHING clicked into place.

So yes, Rom being his sister is my official idea now. But- honestly, this is still such a great ship as a concept! It feels like no matter how Rom's personality is written, the two could have a great dynamic! And what is the outcome? Does Micolash end up being jealous and resentful because he hates to see the girlboss win- I mean, that Rom ascended and he didn't? Or he simply misses her and hopes to JOIN her when he ascends? I just don't know what a mf would have to do to not make a ship like this work imo, because these characters are just cursed to have The Dynamic TM no matter what. I definitely cheer people who ship it... Do what I can't! *sobs*

Hunter x Doll -

Ok ok ok listen dfhhdshdf With Bloodborne, everything depends on the interpretation, so it is not excluded there are ways to make this work! But this is just certainly not my thing.

Doll is an interesting case though, because like I said before, I think soul of Maria DOES live in her - without memories and sedated by the Moon, and Gehrman probably doesn't even know that himself. But when Doll is asleep - she is awake somewhere else and vice-versa, yadda yadda. However, before a hunter as much as looks at her the attracted way, she still needs to find a decent connection with her humanity. And there is her perception of her role as a servant for those hunters that will just stand and take it if they hit her. This is just... it is such a delicate matter that I can't even begin to cover it. It is not even the same level of delicate as complexities of mentor/student!

Rombrietas and Romurie/Yurrom - Perfect ships, nuff said. Though I feel like they are no longer 'popular' and are the thing of the begone era of the fandom (forgotten like Julie x Imposter). But from what I gathered, fandom of 2016-17 enjoyed them. I think that both of these are so likely that I can declare them canon-plaucible. As in, they could actually happen IN canon, not even in alternative/happier timeline. Ebrietas weeps the petrified corpse that looks like Rom when lyrics of her theme refer to Mensis ritual that Rom is covering; meanwhile, Yurie/Julie irrationally fights you on the way to Rom that even Willem encourages you to hunt... That's just two whole women to care about Rom deeply!

Of course not tryna push anything; Ebrietas could lament something else (maybe fate of humanity in general), and Julie could just be winning time for imposter Iosefka to do her experiments. But... why? x) I am very on board with the idea that Ebrietas worries about Rom all the way, seeing Rom becoming a 'spider' (association with Amygdalae and forbidden knowledge). She, who used to be a pawn of the Moon behind her, got in contact with her human side (as an adult celestial larvae), to the point of crying red blood when 'celestial' Kin have it drained of color normally.

AYYYYY that's why it is called 'Paleblood sky'!

Also an oldie:

She loved listening to Rom's 'epiphanies' and took her 100% seriously before it became mainstream x) Though Yurie was eager - getting angry at anyone that dared to criticize Rom even IF criticism was right! Meanwhile Rom always shared personal info with Yurie before anyone else. Plus they always had many shared interests - singing, nature, stars, bothering teachers long after classes are over with silly questions… Yurie having always been by Rom's side physically and mentally made her by effect keep Willem's teachings at heart even if other former Byrgenwerth students who joined Choir ditched those mostly. When Yurie ends up losing her sanity too, one thing she still holds onto is refusing to agree to harm Rom, completely ignoring Damian's pleading that not only it must be done, but also Rom will come out alright as a Great One.. really sad downfall.

Alfred x Crow - I am not very comfortable with the fact that Alfred... well... listen, it is a rather sensitive topic, so I will try to address it as discreet, subtly and maturely as possible. Alfred, as we can conclude... IS A GODDAMN RELIGIOUS FANATIC THAT THINKS VILEBLOODS SHOULD BE EXTERMINATED AS A KIND BECAUSE OF THE BLOOD HIS RELIGION DEEMS "IMPURE"!!! This ship is just certainly not my thing. I know Crow messed up a little by causing Eileen's death, but I am sure not even he is bad enough to deserve any advances by the guy that dehumanizes (devampirizes????) him by proxy. Sure, ship can fit into hatef4cking territory, but we talk about ship... like, relationship... relationshipies...

Ariadella - Fun fact! Despite this ship being basically the same problem as Alfred x Crow (except worse because Adella DOES kill Arianna), I used to like it initially! These two show the personalities that I can see as type of opposites that can mutually improve and complete one another! ...in a happier AU somewhere. But more often than not I am unhappy with the idea of "erasing" the fact that Adella considers Arianna worthy of being murdered in the scenario where she "dirties" the Hunter with her blood just for some shippy fluff. It is a back and forth for me, depending on how the ship is portrayed, and in what context!

Alfhunter - No strong feelings, it got nice art but I just shrug it off. Like, valid, but that's it. However, I do lay awake at nights and think:

"Man, but what could possibly make people see that psychotic religious fanatic beat a defenceless vampire queen into a bloody pulp and decide this is the most desirable man ever that they want to hook up their self-insert or mindchild with?" And you might ask: "Wait, doesn't line up, THIS is where you draw the line? But then how do you explain your crush on Micolash who's done much, MUCH worse things?". Well, I actually have an answer to that that will clarify your confusion and prove that I am not being a hypocrite! You see,

*gradually becomes transparent upon spinning around and teleports away like Rom*

[idv-news-boi]

(/^-^(^ ^*)/ - Brendan

Do your worst JSHSJSJS

From this prompt

Laurence just silently stares at Brendan with an unreadable smile….

Before plopping a ‘Laurence’s talking victim’ sticker on his forehead-/hj

Leave or take it, Laurence will talk and talk and talk MANY THINGS to him if he ever sees him again- even if he didn’t ask anything,,, From strange, funny, triller, or,,,, confusing. Dmdmmdmdm-

Since the time the Reporter learned that the Avatar’s world is a peculiar one, he would ask those trivial questions about how exactly is like… Like is there culture? Diversity? Unique holidays Lau has never heard of?

Probably even asks questions about Brendan himself- he wants to get to know him while also killing some time!

Laurence calls Brendan “Bran” for short- sometimes other nicknames like “B”, “Brand”, “Mario but sidetilt”, etc. -

He cannot imagine the idea of calling him “Brad” tho,,,,

*cues some flashback of a weird Brady guy who tried to sneak into Laurence’s neighbor’s house backyard, just to give the Canadian neighbor 50 milk cardboards …*

Yeah, Brendan doesn’t deserve that nickname from him for now-/ih

The moment Laurence learned that the name Brendan also means “stinking hair”, “crow”, and “prince”- He has the urge to put a crow on top of Brendan’s hat for funsies- (spoilers// it might go wrong, who knows-)

Also the idea of Laurence just plopping a toy of Mario Super Crown on him DJDJDJDSJJ-

I don’t know why, but out of the two of them, I see the vibes of Laurence taking more action in causing crazy stuff while Brendan stands there to watch him-

Laurence likes to eat, but there are times he would also randomly gives Brendan food if he doesn’t feel like eating…-/ih

Laurence// You have a specific diet?

Brendan// {insert answer}

Laurence// *Just gives him a burger,,,, also a cookie,,,, maybe also a donut,,, maybe-*

At first, I once imagined that they usually interact through something,,, like a mirror? Unusual window? Magical door that no one can’t go through? Since one has already escaped the manor and the other still can’t leave yet djdndn-

[mypresentelegances]

Best Wuthering Heights adaptation? Character comparison

Wuthering Heights is one of my favourite books, but the screen adaptations are... not very good. From adapting only half a book to completely changing the ending they continue to make odd odd choices in adapting this book. I can’t blame them though since the book is basically unfilmable. I did my best trying to rank these adaptations, but none of them can really be called a “winner”. 

1939: Oberon is too whiny. I'll never forget her "Heathcliiifff!!" when the dog bites her leg. Not awful, but definitely not Cathy either. After marrying Edgar she is far too composed and regal. Oberon does portray some arrogance and  gets angry once in a while, but doesn't really show Cathy's unstable nature.

1992: She is not fierce enough to be Cathy, and her giggling in the beginning is enough to drive one mad. She makes the emotional and "softer" scenes work well and with Ralph Fiennes they capture the more pleasant moments of the relationship but definitely miss out on the "passionate" and "eternal". Overall I like some aspects of her performance and she shows the growth of the character with less than stellar direction. She just misses out a big time on passion and fierceness, but makes up for it with kind of lunacy so her Cathy is unstable, just in a different way.

2009: Charlotte Riley's Cathy is probably least Cathy-like out of the four I've watched. She is kind and caring, scolds Heathcliff for being mean, gives food to poor, is instantly friends with Isabella.. She shows all her emotions to Heathcliff and instead of the twisted games and hate-passion they have in the book, this Cathy is just a simple woman in love with Heathcliff, who is playing with her. Instead of knowing that they are everything to each other, that they are each other, they just have common jealousy. This is just bad.

2011: The younger version of Cathy is maybe not spicy enough but she is good and her bond with Heathcliff is shown well. Kaya Scoledario on the other hand is about as interesting as watching that nth shot of the muddy moor. This version of Cathy also has a weird interest in drinking blood.

1939: Laurence Olivier has absolutely zero Heathcliff in him. His Heathcliff is romantic, talkative and calm. Heathcliff as a romance novel hero. Also Olivier is as wooden as the giant block of wood he throws in to the fire in the beginning.

1992: Ralph Fiennes starts out as a bit too sophisticated for Heathcliff, but his performance definitely gets better after Heathcliff returns. He is cruel underneath his somewhat gentlemanly facade that he doesn't really work to upheld once he gets what he wants. I actually rather like his performance, even though it doesn't reach his book heights of cruelty.

2009: Tom Hardy makes for a chatty Heathcliff. He is a bit evil, sure, but also way too social. He doesn't seem to hide any kind of dark feelings behind his quippy exterior. If he's happy, he is, if he's angry, he is. Change in his three years away is nonexistent since he was already so at home around everyone. I'm also confused how after 18 years he just decides to blow his brains out. Ok.

2011: Again young Heathcliff is portrayed well Solomon Glave but the older one.. less so. Boring is really the only way to describe James Howson's performance. He seems like he is not interested at all in Cathy or anything really. He is just floating around the screen. He sounds curiously like Jon Snow and that is not a good thing.

1939: There is not much to say about his Hindley really. He is utterly forgettable.

1992: Unfortunately the curse of forgettableness follows Hindleys. Jeremy Northam beats Heathcliff up once but is really reduced to nothing in this film. Around the middle he then just dies off.

2009: Gorman's Hindley is weirdly happy and loving before Frances' death, but turns out to be a passable drunk afterwards. I especially like him meantioning his plans to kill Heathcliff. The Hidnley-Heathcliff dynamic in the beginning paints Heathcliff as a victim, so Hindley being a passable person for a while is an odd choice. However I remember him so that’s a bonus.

2011: Well he is racist for sure. I guess the skinhead look is some very very clever social commentary.

1939: David Niven as Edgar was... an interesting choice. He doesn't get much to do, mostly standing around and frowning at Heathcliff.

1992: I'm well aware of being very biased here, but Simon Shepherd truly looks like I've always imagined Edgar Linton looking like. He is just the perfect Edgar to me no contest. I think he captures Edgar from the book very nicely.

2009: Andrew Lincoln is far too manly and dark to be the light-coloured, bloodeless Edgar. He is also too mean in this version.

2011: I really don't have anything to say about this man. Edgar is on-screen for maybe half a minute and that is the less interesting half so I may have missed it.

1939: Isabella doesn't come off as such a fool since Heathcliff is 10000x more pleasant than he really is. Fitzgerald plays Isabella fine enough. She looks way too much like Cathy tho.

1992: I just hate how they cut out the scene of Isabella running away, as it is one of my favourite scenes and really makes Isabella's character into something more than a lovesick fool. Without that Sophie Ward doesn't really have much to do.

2009: Isabella gets some "development" in this series, we are seen her looking for suitors at Cathy's wedding and she explains some of her reasons for being interested in Heathcliff. Rest of the movie she looks sadly around eyes wide. They had Isabella leaving Heathcliff and completly butchered that. I'm Angry >.<

2011: Cmon Isabella. This Heathcliff is in no way interesting. He doesn't even have any "dark sexual attraction". We never see what might make Isabella interested in Heathcliff and I mean, who really cares anyway? If you're paying attention at this point I salute you. Okay I'm back since I noticed the movie is ending. They had the scene where Isabella and Hindley shut Heathcliff out so that's fun.

1939: Best thing about Flora Robson is that she vaguely resembles Jane McTeer. She doesn't really have a large role. What she has she does well enough.

1992: Janet McTeer is my love and joy. She is too old in the beginning, sure, and for the rest of the movie looks like she is in her 40s, but she is so so lovely as Nelly. I love her acting in "I am Heathcliff" scene and in her scenes with Heathcliff. She is the reason I like this movie so much despite its many failings.

2009: Nelly is way too old, which changes her relationship with all the characters. The actress does her grandma-role fine, giving shocked looks underneath her biddy bonnet.

2011: Ummm... Congrats for being the right age? This Nelly really doesn't have a role.

It was rather hard to rate the second generation since the 1992 movie was the only one to actually properly include it. 

[leverage-ot3]

notable moments from The Tap Out Job

leverage 2.02

Jack: Somebody drugged his water. It's an old boxing trick. He couldn't defend himself, and... He's still in the hospital.

that’s fucked

- - - - -

Eliot: It's not a cockfight. All right? Let me show you something, Hardison. Come here. Can I borrow you? (puts a gentle hand on Parker’s hip, guiding her to the open space behind the couch) All right. Square up. Remember what I showed you?

(Hardison and Parker square up)

Hardison: Are you...

Eliot: There's three phases to an MMA--to an MMA fight, okay? One, striking. (Parker punches Hardison in the face) Nice. Next is grappling, the takedown. (Parker grabs Hardison and throws him on the floor) Exactly. All right. The third one is jujitsu. Okay, try to isolate a joint. (Parker gets Hardison in a hold) That's good. That's a textbook armbar, Parker. Put some pressure on there.

Parker: Like this?

Eliot: There you go. Or you can go for a choke hold.

Hardison: She got to be choking me. (tries to get away)

Eliot: Remember that thing that I showed you?

Parker: Oh, yeah. The choke.

Eliot: Lock that in. All right. You don't have to hold the arm. See, that's a triangle choke. That's nasty. Puts pressure on his carotid artery, and the guy will submit by tap out.

Hardison (tapping the ground): Eliot, I'm tapping! I'm tapping!

Eliot: These fights are won by inches, I'm telling you.

Hardison: I can't breathe!

Eliot: All about leverage.

Sophie: Yeah, it looks really painful.

Hardison: It is painful!

Nate: No TV deal, you said, huh? Hardison, what are this guy's other interests, this Rucker guy?

Hardison: Seriously, you ask me a question right now...

Sophie: I'll take that. Yeah, rotary club, golf membership.

Nate: Golf, huh?

Hardison: Help me!

Sophie: Yeah. I mean, this guy's like a 1950s sitcom character. He plays a weekly game with the local businessmen. In fact, last year, he won the club championship.

Nate: Did he? Hmm.

Hardison: Let me go!

Nate: I guess it's...

Hardison: She's killing me!

Nate: …it's time to hit the links.

Hardison: I'm cool. Just let me go real quick.

eliot canonically teaches parker how to fight in his spare time and I LOVE THAT

fucking CHAOTIC OT3 + parker is having a great time while hardison is dying

ALSO can we just for a minute appreciate how when she puts him in a chokehold she was wrapping her legs around his neck, which basically had his head in her crotch area and !!! it wasn’t sexualized at al !!! literally A N Y other show would have sexualized it even just a little bit but not leverage. never leverage.

- - - - -

I love it when they fuck with peoples gear (like with the baseballs or hockey pucks or in this instance the golf balls)

- - - - -

parker playing with the golf club covers

- - - - -

literally EVERY con has nate being an asshole (this one was one of the more annoying ones tho)

- - - - -

hi I am but a simple bi and eliot in that grey hoodie was VERY attractive

- - - - -

Room Service: Room service. Can I help you?

Sophie: Yeah, no, I can't eat this. I'm sorry?

Everything on my plate is yellow.

Room Service: It's chicken-fried steak.

Sophie: It's what? Chicken-fried steak?

Room Service: Yes.

Sophie: No, let me just tell you, all right. Meat should never be used as an adjective.

~ a little while late ~

Sophie: I'm starving.

Parker: I found these in the minibar. (throws her a bag)

Sophie: "Pork Rinds"? How do you peel a pig? (throws it back)

- - - - -

Hardison: Got it. See, Online video websites, they track viewer hits by IP Address, so the trick is to just spoof a bunch of IPs, then write a script that lets you browse the video page via the proxy list and...

- - - - -

Sophie: Well, this guy, he just--he give me the creeps.

Eliot: We've gone up against rougher dudes than this before.

Sophie: I know. But it's this whole treating people as commodities. This whole barbaric sport.

Eliot: Hey, don't lump these guys in with Rucker. All right, he's not what the sport's about.

Sophie: Eliot, this "sport" is about two guys beating the crap out of each other.

Eliot: MMA fighters act with more respect than any other athlete I've seen.

Sophie: Yeah, they're "Braveheart," I get it.

Eliot: No, you don't. These guys don't fight because they like hurting other people, all right. They fight to gain some sort of control over their opponents, over their environment, over their lives. Have you seen this town? Huh? The farms are drying up. The only stores are bail bondsmen and pawn shops, and there's nothing they can do about it. So, yeah, they get in the ring and try not to let it all suffocate them. (a beat, he smiles) And it's about two guys beating the crap out of each other. (she smiles back)

- - - - -

eliot is wearing a green flannel in this one and it looks very nice and comfy

- - - - -

Rucker: Well, bottom line is, you need good product. What event are you here to produce?

[Interior Van]

Hardison: On it. There's a tractor pull in grand island, a livestock show in council bluffs, white people doing other white things…

pls keep calling out white people pls we deserve it lmfao

- - - - -

Director (in car looking at his phone): Come on! Come on! Give me something! Come on! Is this gonna take long?

Nate (through window): No. Two shakes. Are you in a hurry?

Director: Even half a bar... what? Yes. Hurry. Does anyone in this backwater hellhole know what that means?

Nate: You're a director, right? What was your name again?

Director: What? It's Laurence. Todd Laurence.

Nate: Todd, well, listen, Mr. Laurence. See, I wrote a script...

Director: Huh?

Nate: Yeah. It's about a limo driver who solves mysteries till his wife leaves him for --

Director: For the love of god!

Nate: ...the best part: The feed store manager. Right? His wife…

Director: Yeah...?

Nate: Tramp...

Director: Hey, hee-haw, move the car! Okay

- - - - -

parker in leather pants, a bright yellow ‘I heart Nebraska’ tshirt and weird hat, eating a corn dog? ,,,a look I guess

- - - - -

Hardison (showing passes): So, I'm Todd Laurence? (girls flock to Hardison) Ladies, please, look. For the last time, I am not the tailback for the cornhuskers. Go! I don't even know what a cornhusker is.

- - - - -

Rucker: And all you need is a product?

Sophie: Well, that's what they are: Products. You get the girls with Trianna, you get the boys with MMA. And there's always another fresh-faced princess ready to go through the singing/dancing mill in Florida. Occasionally, we let one be a lesbian, keeps the press on their toes

- - - - -

Hardison: What? What? W-what was I supposed to do? It was cousin Jimmy.

Sophie: He's right. We couldn't have planned for that.

Hardison: Look, you know what I can do? I can re-task a satellite, I can get a level 3 NSA clearance, but I can't hack a hick

- - - - -

Eliot: All right, it doesn't matter. What do we do now?

Parker: We can move the Howorth.

Eliot: We're not moving the Howorths. All right? This is their home. That means something to people here.

Sophie: Yeah, we can't babysit them forever.

Nate: We've taken out bigger players than this. You know, there's got to be some way, something we can...

Eliot: No, no! I take the dive.

Sophie: You sure?

Hardison: Give me some time, okay? I've found some funny business in Rucker's accounts. I can move some things.

Eliot: Forget the fact that we just got beat by Barney Fife, all right? This is the right move. Tactically it's the right move. You all know that. (walks away)

none of them want to see eliot hurt more than he needs to or see him go down like that and I cry

alec ‘give me five minutes I will do literally anything for eliot’ hardison

- - - - -

Sophie: Hey. Listen, you-you don't have to do this, you know. Nate's gonna come up with something.

Eliot: I'm losing a fight, Sophie. I'm not diving on a grenade. I'll be all right.

Sophie: Yeah, I know. I'm not talking physically.

Eliot: I think my ego can handle it.

Sophie: Look, you told me that it's about control, about knowing that you're never gonna be the victim. And that's what keeps you going, right?

Eliot: You think I'm upset 'cause I got to let this guy kick my ass? I learned a long time ago, you can't control the violence. I can take the punishment. That's what I do. What I need to control is not out there. (touches his chest) It's here. Always.

(Sophie smiles and walks away)

- - - - -

hardison holds eliots face before he fights I never noticed that before

+ eliot’s hair is curly when it’s wet/when he’s sweaty. this means he blowdries his hair on a regular basis. eliot, as a part of taking control of himself and his life after moreau took interest in self care and taking care of his hair in this essay I will-

- - - - -

one thing I love about this is that eliot doesn’t have a six pack (see this commentary I made with a few lovely additions by my mutuals)

- - - - -

Jack: Where's Rucker?

Hardison: Oh, the Iowa State Police just got a tip that a fugitive is headed into their jurisdiction. And I'm pretty sure crossing state lines with a bag full of cash won't look too good.

Parker: Especially when they find the little surprise in his trunk.

[Flashback, Pawn Shop]

Parker: I need guns. (dumping money on counter) $6,000 worth. And one of those.

LMFAO THERE WAS A TUBA TOO

- - - - -

Doctor (examining Eliot): You took a hell of a pounding. We should get you a CT scan. You could have internal bleeding.

Jack: You let yourself get hammered like that on purpose? That's a hell of a lot of punishment to take.

Sophie: That's what he does.

- - - - -

eliot held the rope up for parker to step under when they were getting out of the ring

- - - - -

Sophie (to Parker): Pork rind? They're actually pretty good. (parker shakes her head and rubs her stomach) You sure?

sophie nO

[vaguely-concerned]

I’m back! Temeraire Let’s Read:Tongues of Serpents

- Tharkay literally shows up at the beginning of the second sentence; STRONG start, I highly approve, great improvement on every level

fsdafhsadkjlfh cooly tossing tables and throwing people’s drinks in their faces in the bar brawl fkjsdhfksdalfhasdj this ain’t his first rodeo huh

- these dumbasses having to clean up from the bar brawl before going home so their dragons don’t go out there and demand to have a word with the dudes who bullied their lil boys... oh my  g o d 

- “it was true, if one wished to be very particular about such things, that laurence was a convicted felon”  t e m e r a i r e... ~*technicality schmechnicality*~ it was barely treason at all really  

also temeraire being in super protective mother hen/older brother mode over the eggs is perfect  

- Jane Rolands bluff, jovial letter writing is Everything

- “Have Temeraire throw him overboard,” Tharkay had suggested laconically, when Laurence had escaped to his quarters for a little relief and some piquet . . . “He can fish him out again later,” he added, as an afterthought.

A VISIONARY. An unmitigated joy. “Have Temeraire throw him overboard”. He says what we’re all thinking. 

- AAAAAAAAH MUTUAL FIRST NAME BASIS!!!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL WTF HAVE THEY BEEN DOING ON THIS TRIP TELL ME IN DETAIL WHEN THE SWITCH HAPPENED PLEASE (also I really like that the first instance we see is “But Tenzing, I cannot trust myself” b/c that was literally the whole point of that scene in VoE. laurence... yes you can. tfw your crush is the goodiest of twoshoes and can barely move for it and doesn’t even knoooow)

- y’know if Laurence could get over this thought that asking a direct question to a friend is just ~*intolerably rude*~ he could get so much shit done 

(I guess tharkay, clearly a follower of the rosa diaz school of ‘no one is ever going to know shit about me’, is like fuck yeah I’ve struck gold with this one)

- “So spake the pot” oh I do love Actually Pretty Chill Dad William Laurence finally letting the snark out more frequently, it suits him very much (I guess his main claims to fame in a lot of circles is a) treason and b) spoiling his dragon rotten)

- rankin’s name is mentioned and everyone’s like HIIISSSSSSSS and RIGHTLY SO FUCK THAT GUY JUSTICE FOR LEVITAS

- temeraire is talking to the egg about consent and saying he’ll make sure it won’t have to do anything it doesn’t want to fjklsadhfkaslhfsd my heart

- lol lol lol weeeell in hindsight who could’ve guessed captain and second in command of the dragon pirates would have a materialistic superficial kid huh

- . . . Granby said, with a look half affection and half exasperation oh granby baby still carrying that torch huh

- lol lol lol just the implication of sara maden and laurence silently tops up his drink and he’s like ‘cheers’ and they’re both quiet for a moment flskdfs 

if you think about it that must’ve been such a wild day in his life tho -- like first  Laurence furiously fires him for being gone at a crucial moment and then immediately unfires him when it turns out he’s been chasing a lead and being the only goddamn person really working on solving all their problems (as is his wont), then he finds out his ex is getting married and steadfastly pretends it doesn’t even bother him, lol what are feelings I heard only losers have them (extremely relatable -- I guess he must have known it was in the cards though, because he specifically tells Laurence at the beginning he didn’t intend to go back to Istanbul, so it’s been over for a while?) then they go on a life and death chase through the sewers, and THEN, before he knows it, after half a book of being kind of a mistrustful dick to him, Laurence does a 180° and is there offering eternal friendship with big soulful eyes after seeing him get upset one time and y’know I guess I see why that got to him lol 

- aw man I know it’s never going to happen but I am getting sort of wistful and teary-eyed over this pirate (cough cough I mean legally sanctioned privateer of course) AU that’s going entirely to waste

here are some tags I left on this superb piece of fanart: #I just got to the part where tharkay makes the suggestion and like... I know it's not happening #but what a shimmering tender mother of pearl dream to carry in one's heart lol #just a lil pirate family out there wrecking shit #temeraire would get wind of what the east india company actually does and they'd inevitably turn against them and fuck 'em up... *sigh* #fix it fic: the boys kiss and the east india company is stopped from committing further atrocities! all is well

so that’s basically my position on that

- “I’m sure there’s nothing too dangerous out there, in the fucking untamed Australian wilderness,” Temeraire said, tempting fate to a frankly anxiety-inducing extent 

- hell yeah demane is the only one with presence of mind to actually find some food; you go buddy <3

- my boy tharkay slinking off in the middle of the night without telling anyone and solving everyone’s problems... *dabs at eyes* just like old times

- oh wow rankin really is just a piece of shit in every way huh

- fhasdklhfsadfsad temeraire being like ‘I know tharkay is a strong independent human who is perfectly capable of making his own decisions and don’t need no dragon... but also he’s clearly one of my humans tho why is he riding on another dragon :(’ THE CUTEST SHIT

- temeraire silently dissing his dad over refusing to believe in ghosts ~*except*~ for the holy spirit adslfhaskjdlhfs

- demane taking in the strange little hatchling... im crey... he truly hits me straight in the heart every time

also laurence steadfastly Doing The Right Thing and following his convictions is so deeply healing after all that bullshit he went through in the last book... makes me feel all safe and calm inside haha

- actually when you think about it it’s so fucked up that they apparently just straight up murder dragons with birth defects in england as a matter of course b/c like. dragons come out of the egg fully sentient and capable of understanding what’s being said around them. kulingile literally understood every word they were saying as they discussed whether or not they should be KILLING HIM.  j e s u s  thank god for demane and laurence’s stubborn insistence on being good

- temeraire going straight from mother hen to extremely impatient and jealous older brother the moment an egg hatches never gets old. all these dumb little babies just complaining and stealing his crew ugh (HOW FUCKING CUTE is him deciding kulingile could be a scholar or something tho #dragon rights)

- “I wish,” Temeraire said to Laurence, “I do wish that other dragons were not always thinking me peculiar . . . it makes one doubtful.” BABY BOY NOOOO he’s just so sweet and he’s so secretly scared that laurence might resent him a little after the whole treason business and OW right in the parental heart that fucks me up

- Temeraire’s indignant “Oh!”s always soothe my soul it’s so adorable

- little emily roland yelling “damn you all for cowards!” after a bunch of grown men fleeing while she reloads her gun and takes aim again is incredible poetic cinema (and also demane joining her... I love the bond they’ve got going on in the background here)

- aw poor sipho :( at least he still has temeraire to nerd out with and stuff but that’s some difficult shit to process for a kid

kulingile bobbing around tethered to temeraire like a small balloon at a fair is such an image, what a blessing, temeraire’s exasperated brand of babysitting is so funny

- laurence being a Dad to the kids in his crew... mana from heaven

- YESSS they crossed the endless miles of DEADLY AUSTRALIAN WILDERNESS so laurence could be MORTIFIED as the emperor’s adopted son at a party this is the content I am here for

- hell yeah let’s play a round of pimp my captain!!!!!!!!!!

“And,” Laurence said. “And you are certain that this should be appropriate for the occasion; not, perhaps, excessive?” I can’t  b r e a t h e  he can’t even say shit because his dragon boi is so happy fsaldfjsldhfasjlh and then granby making fond fun of him what a beautiful cherry on top of this sweet sweet laurence being embarrassed sundae 

- william ‘I’m here to kick ass and describe menswear in fastidious detail and I’ve already kicked my own ass twice today’ laurence strikes again

- this description of the dragons sitting around squabbling as they watch shiny sparkly things is the most endearing few pages in modern literature do not @ me

- it’s kind of fucked up that the emperor of china is giving laurence more of the sort of warmth and validation a father should than his actual dad ever did lol. u did good curing the dragon plague, weird european adopted son I am proud of you

- every time temeraire is really upset about something my soul suffers a small wound

thank god he doesn’t actually know what opium is really used for most of the time yet (also I am obligated to divulge that I am entirely charmed by tharkay’s sardonic yet clear eyed cynicism on the issue, I cannot be anything but what I am and he hasn’t had enough proper page time in this half of the book so I will take what I can get)  

- ...I kind of just realized that I imagine the sea serpents basically as long-ass gyaradoses... OH NO

I will say I respect the ‘give no fucks’ vibe they give off -- it’s a real ‘we’re here to eat fish & party and if you try to get in our way we’re gonna have you as a snack’ mood and I cannot fault them for it

- iskierka is such a fuckboi it’s glorious 

- nOOOOOO tharkay is leaving again fuck ;_______; is his life just an endless procession of semi-unwillingly having to go back to istanbul again these days 

Temeraire did not see why Tharkay should have to go so far, only to deliver news; and particularly when he did not seem as though he wished to go, very much. DDDDDDDD: THIS SUCKS you know that when a) he’s letting it show and b) temeraire notices it that he is dragging his heels big time over this lol

‘there can be very little to call you back to this part of the world any time soon’ LAURENCE YOU 24 KARAT IDIOT YOU ARE HERE HE CAME TO AUSTRALIA FOR YOU ALREADY WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

all that said whenever I see a ‘Tenzing’ on the page my heart does a happy little dance. ah well now let’s settle in and wait for what horrible catastrophe will happen now that tharkay is gone... come back soon buddy

- ooooooooooooh that is so good, using the last chapter + epilogue to show how the... idk moral wound I guess laurence received victory of eagles has finally healed, that’s so reassuring. he just wants to do good things for good causes and can’t be badgered, cajoled, threatened or convinced to do anything less anymore and it’s all so sweet and well earned. that’s some good development through this book too, from ‘tenzing I cannot trust myself’ to this. excellent stuff

- while I did quite enjoy this book for the character moments it is incredibly weirdly structured? like the beginning drags a bit with the quite uninteresting colony politics and stuff but then they’re finally travelling and then... nothing really happens plot wise before the sea serpents freak the fuck out at the end there lol. I’m mostly a character-oriented reader tho so I’m pretty fine with it.

ETA: actually now that I think about it I’d say that my biggest gripe with this book is that it doesn’t engage at all with the perspective of the native australian people? even though one of the dragons settles down with one group? god knows it’s not like there was no time to dive into it, considering all that time spent in the fucking wilderness lol

we’re going to the inca empire next tho apparently fuck YEAH!!! that’s such an underexplored and extremely interesting part of history, my body is Ready

[ziamfanfiction]

ROMANCEMESOMEZIAM FICS

As many of you might know, Laurence (romancemesomeziam) is deleting all her fics from AO3 this monday (23/4) for personal reasons, so if you’re a fan of her stories we advice you to go download them now because after monday they won’t be available anymore, she said tho that if you missed on the downloading you can contact her and she’ll give you a copy.

Here i’m listing all her works for you to check them out! 

Marveling Coincidence 

They meet by unfortunate circumstances, bad place at a bad time, but their common interest brings them together easily. Question is, will the world pull them apart?

or

When Zayn is a Uni student getting over a bad break up, struggling with his own personal demons and Liam, a friend of a friend, might just be the perfect remedy to his aching heart.

Who's That Shadow Holding Me Hostage

He remembered spending hours at that same table, drawing until his fingers went numb, warm lips sometimes pressed to his neck as hazelnut kisses were exchanged. Zayn could still hear that mellow sultry voice whispering in his ear, how he worked too hard how he needed to take a break. He also remembered how those breaks often ended in the tiny bathroom meters away, clumsy make out sessions as large hands palmed his ass, grinding against him until he was breathless.

"Stop," mumbled Zayn to himself as he stripped his soaked coat, hanging it on a vacant hook before taking a seat. Don’t do this yourself, he’s gone. He never came back.

Come On Then

Liam: I ended up kissing Zayn once! Zayn was like "Come on then, come on," putting his head close to me - like when you're going to have a fight. Then he just leaned forward and kissed me!

The Beauty of Pain

"Maybe the little bruises and cuts that show up on your body seemingly out of nowhere are actually little injuries that happened to your soul mate and you get the same marks on your skin as them." ***

or

When Zayn spends his entire life experiencing the pain and suffering of a person he has yet to met, but loves deeply.

You're The Shining Distraction That Makes Me Fly

Zayn is a recently new single father, falling into his role without ease until Liam, his son's first grade teacher, helps him a little to adapt to the new lifestyle.

Baby, Look What You've Done To Me

Liam walks in on Zayn masturbating, but rather than joining him as usual, he enjoys the sight from afar.

Pulling You Apart

Zayn's hair has grown quite a lot lately, and Liam finds himself enjoying the feeling of it between his fingers until one day, Zayn reacts a little differently than he expected

Auction Me Off

Basically I saw this post and was stuck with it all day so I wrote this random AU, and I kinda like it.

http://romancemesomeziam.tumblr.com/post/84643616125/daddy-liam-is-so-hot-azra-i-cant-right-now

or

When CEO Liam meets a young Zayn and can't help but be enthralled by his amazing beauty, but there's more to their relationships than physicality.

Better than Words

Zayn and Liam wake up with their little boy and enjoy their time off as a family.

or

Zayn and Liam being parents, but finding time to be lovers.

The Right Shade of Just Like You

The boys celebrate their son's birthday and Zayn struggles with his little boy growing up. Yet, Liam is always there to make sure things go by smoothly, even if it means roughing Zayn up a little bit.

Baby, There's a Fire Burning Inside of Me

Liam ends up calling Zayn during their break, a little drunk, saying things that trigger a secret Zayn has worked hard to keep hidden.

Or

Zayn coming to terms with his feelings and falling into the comfort that Liam offers.

Go Drink Some Water Babe.

Zayn spots a boy at a party and is determined to have his way with him

Or

Curly Liam looking sinfully innocent but rocking Modern, Tattoo artist Zayn's world.

Black Ink Fingerprint Bruises

Liam comes to redeem his free ink.

Anchor Me Home

Liam is the captain of a ship that sails to ports all around the world. He prefers the comfort of the ocean, finding peace in the smoothness of the sea, but one day he gets caught up in the heart of a local barman, and so begins the battle between the lures of the ocean and that of land.

There's a Bookmark Where I Met You

Zayn finds himself having to deal with a boy causing a commotion in the Library he works at.

Or

When Zayn finds himself faced with Curly Liam and can't help himself.

Taking the Plunge With You

Zayn can't sleep because of a leaking sink, so he calls a plumber since he is in desperate need of slumber but ends up getting more than a dream filled night in exchange.

Sweet Memories

The boys share a sweet moment on a summer day when at home

or

Ice cream kisses

Home

Zayn and Liam go fishing to get away from the tour.

Or

When the boys finally have time alone to rekindle.

Our Own Way

Liam comes back from a forced bearded date, to find a not so happy Zayn waiting for him

or

Zayn manhandling Liam.

or

So Liam purposely broke Zayn's every rule lately, craving to be marked and dominated, to be owned and permanently damaged because the bruises on his skin were his fuck you to the world. They meant more than the cheap ring on a purple haired girl, they were their promises to one another, their way of saying forever.